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faustianbroker · 2 months ago

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TIMING: Current LOCATION: Harmony Hill, World's End Isle PARTIES: Caleb (@dirtwatchman) & Gabagool (& Levi at the end lol) SUMMARY: Caleb meets Gabagool in a graveyard, and the badalisc has an interesting offer for him. CONTENT WARNINGS: n/a

—

The strangest part of not working for Nichols anymore was the loss of comfort that came from being around them. Caleb had always had a hard time getting close to people, it was something that stemmed from childhood and it was no secret, but the Nichols family had always been that security blanket that made going through life so much easier. It had started with losing Jack and now that he couldn’t really be around Erin or Diane every part of him felt…out of place. He’d been trying to search for a new home, a new place where he could feel safe and understood without feeling like a burden, and he could get that with a few of the friends he still had around town but it was nothing compared to what he’d had before.

New locations weren’t doing it for him but he’d found himself searching them anyway. It was like he was sixteen again, running from what he couldn’t change while delving into the peace of the dead. He was leaning back against one of the larger headstones on Harmony Hill, his eyes closed as the sounds of the night barely reached his ears. The zombie wished he could hear the chirp of the crickets like he could when he was a kid, longed for the days he never thought he’d want to go back to again.

He was just about to put his headphones in his ears and really go back to the past when he heard the scuffling of little feet coming towards him. Caleb’s eyes snapped open, his body now on alert, knowing what he could encounter. He was not expecting to see the weirdest looking cat thing he had ever encountered scurrying around one of the headstones to his right and he didn’t know whether to be cautious with it or hold out a hand to scratch behind its ears. “Uh...hey buddy. You seem like you’re a long way from home.” As it got closer, he took in the two different colored eyes and the soft gray of its fur, his body still tense. The thing was kind of cute but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be deadly. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty far from home too.”

—

Gabagool was a hunter by nature. A hunter of juicy, juicy gossip. And sometimes, you know, you didn’t find that in highly populated areas! Usually, sure, but the juiciest stuff usually happened when someone was alone, was unaware that they were being watched. So from time to time, the little demon would wander his way through the outskirts of town, snooping around lonely cabins and weaving his way stealthily through more populated areas into the quiet, empty parts of town. Graveyards tended to fit that description, and this one was no exception! Except for the one guy in here, which was definitely suspect. Sure, maybe he was just out here mourning someone, but did they even bury people in this graveyard anymore? The demon didn’t know and didn’t care. All he knew was that there was a potential source of gossip to be investigated, and at the very least, it might do something funny. People tended to do funny things when Gabagool showed up.

It was hanging back for a while, but the man was being boring, so it decided to introduce itself. Trotting up to the man, totally carefree, Gabagool cocked his head as he was spoken to. “I am, actually,” he responded in his best version of a teary, lip-trembling sort of voice (that inexplicably sounded a lot like Billy Crystal). “A long way from home. I’m lost!” He could have gone on and on, quite the yapper, but it was always fun to let the humans react to the fact that he could talk.

—

It shouldn’t have surprised him that this thing could talk. He was used to the unexpected, so much so that the unexpected wasn’t all that unexpected anymore. But for some reason when the thing opened its mouth Caleb was shocked enough that his own fell open. A talking cat thing wasn’t as bad as a literal demon but maybe the fact that it sounded like that one guy from City Slickers didn’t help much. “Uh…right, yea. Of course you can talk, why would that not be a thing right now?”

He was still staring at the thing, still poised for some sort of attack because that voice did nothing to convince Caleb that the cat was sincere, but he also was ready to help if needed. It was something else instilled in him, that need to please even the smallest of creatures around him. It said something that Caleb wanted the approval of this animal but he wasn’t willing to dive into that yet. “Do you uh…want me to help you get back? Do you know where you live…do you even have an address?” Was it rude to ask a lost…thing if it had an address? The zombie didn’t want to offend it even if he was a little scared the thing was going to take his head off at any second.

—

Gabagool grinned a wide, cheshire grin, his little tufts of fur that might’ve been ears flattening against his large skull. The creature was 70% mouth, the rest of it consisting mostly of soft fur and flab. Well, and sharp teeth. He was still a carnivore, after all.

“Oh gosh, mister, would you?” The badalisc hopped on all four paws, moving closer to Caleb and shaking out his fur. “I live on World’s End Isle. I’m sure my master is terribly worried about where I’ve gone, mister. Could you take me there? I don’t like walking on the bridge alone… it’s scary.” He dropped his head low, dramatically throwing himself to the ground right next to Caleb’s legs, rolling onto his back and looking up at the other upside down. “Hey, what are you doing here, anyway? Not a very nice hangout spot. I don’t like graveyards — I didn’t mean to end up in this one.”

—

This thing sounded almost condescending as it spoke, that wide grin not helping one bit. But it was a ridiculous thought, right? It was a cat…thing. Animals weren’t condescending from what he knew of them. Still, animals didn’t talk either and this was proving him wrong. When it flopped on its back and started looking at Caleb while upside down the zombie felt his lips pull up into a smile, all thoughts of its tone disappearing from his mind. They were dumb thoughts anyway. It had to be the voice. “I can help you, yeah. The walk across the bridge can be pretty terrifying in the dark. We don’t want to keep you from your master any longer.”

He reached over and hesitantly ran a finger under the animal’s chin before getting to his feet. Caleb felt like a giant standing next to it with his chin almost meeting his chest as he looked down. “I’m kind of the opposite. I come to cemeteries to think when I have too much on my mind. They’ve been a source of comfort for me.” How sad was that? Why was he scared that this animal was going to judge him for it? And why was it easier to talk about all of this with a cat? “There’s been a lot going on lately.”

—

“Oooohhh, a lot going on, huh? I gotcha, I gotcha,” Gabagool sympathized, following Caleb’s lead and rolling back over onto his paws. He gave his whole body a shake to get rid of any stray dirt or leaves, then started to pad along beside the man. “I’m Gabagool, by the way! And I’m a great listener. At least, that’s what papá tells me! Sometimes when he gets home from work and he’s just had the hardest day, he likes to sit with me on the couch and tell me all about it. Says it makes him feel better!” The badalisc bounded in front of Caleb, standing up on his hind legs and stretching the front ones out toward the man as much as he could.

“Uppies?” he asked with a grin, hopping on the spot to maintain his balance. “Papá also says that my fur is the softest he’s ever felt and that it’s soothing. Plus, you got long legs, I dunno if I can keep up.”

—

Caleb had never had a pet before. When he was younger his foster parents claimed they were too busy taking care of their foster kids to house any pets inside. The mom would try to be nice about it, let the kids believe that it was for the benefit of any animal that might come through their home, but Caleb saw the real truth when he was thirteen. His foster brother, only a year older than him, brought home a cat one day because he’d found it stuck in a drainpipe. Gary, having already started his drinking that day, went ballistic. Turns out, the man really did not like animals. It almost reminded Caleb of how much Gary hated the very children they let into their home. His brother had been able to get the cat out of the house before anything really bad happened but that moment had stuck with all the kids from that point on. No pets allowed.

When he got older Caleb had never really thought about a companion no matter how lonely he’d gotten over the years. It must have been ingrained in him that pets were a bad thing and then he was killed and became a zombie…which he felt would put any pet at risk if something were to happen to its owner.

But having this cat stand on its hind legs and reach for him made him want to break down and get his own. Obviously this one kept speaking of an owner so it was off the table but there were shelters around here. He grinned, not even hesitating to pick up the furry thing as it danced in front of him and let it settle comfortably in his arms. “That’s an interesting name. I’ve never heard one like it.” But this animal’s papa was correct, its fur was very soft. Caleb was absentmindedly brushing his fingers through it as he started walking in the direction of World’s End Isle. Maybe the papa was right about spilling his guts to the cat too. He didn’t think about the fact that if this thing could talk to him it could talk to others before he launched into things. When a person sees a cat they don’t automatically think the animal can spread their secrets around. “You ever heard of demons, Gabagool? Those things are very real. And they like to possess people and use them and ruin their lives. I was doing okay, you know? My life wasn’t horrible but then Aesil set out to destroy almost every relationship I had for fun.”

—

Had Gabagool ever heard of demons? It made the badalisc want to laugh, made him want to chuckle and chortle and guffaw right in this silly man’s face, because of course he had! He was one! But all the mirth would have to wait, because Gabagool knew that name. Aesil. They weren’t friends by any stretch of the imagination, and their paths had only crossed one time — this was before Gabagool had decided to align himself with Leviathan. But he knew that name, knew that demon, and had some small inkling of that demon’s purpose. It wouldn’t do, not here. Not now.

Lying, though, that wouldn’t do, either. Because the truth would come out eventually, and it was better to build that trust now. If this guy was somehow connected to Aesil, who might have had plans that would disrupt the operation here, Leviathan would want to know. Leviathan would want to take care of it, as it always took care of things. That didn’t include killing the man who was now carrying Gabagool home, but it would very likely involve getting some information out of him. Papá liked to do that a little more humanely, these days. It liked to not burn bridges that didn’t need burning. So, the badalisc put looked up at the man with wide, mismatched eyes, conjuring every ounce of pity that he could into those bright orbs.

“Oh… I’m really sorry to hear that, mister,” he commiserated. “Demons can be… well, like you said. Just the worst. But yes, I know all about them.” There was a pregnant pause, and the creature smiled again, this time without baring his little fangs. His ears perked up, little nub of a tail wagging behind him. “I am one, actually. But not like Aesil. There’s lots of different kinds of demons, did you know? I just talk a lot. That’s my thing.”

—

He almost dropped the cat. Caleb almost launched it in the air as soon as it admitted to being a demon itself almost as if the creature was burning him but he held on, albeit a little tighter than he had before. Of course it was a demon. Of course the only damn thing that he’d felt completely comfortable with in the past couple of months turned out to be the very thing that had almost destroyed him. What was it about these things that attracted them to Caleb? Were they now kindred spirits or something? Now that he’d been taken over by one they all wanted a piece? He needed to know so that he could find a way to get rid of whatever was pulling them his way.

His body had stiffened so much that he felt himself coming to a slow stop in the middle of the street. He did know about different types of demons as he was currently reading up about them as much as possible but he’d never come across one like this in his teachings. Gabagool seemed friendly enough but Aesil had been the same when they wanted something from someone. Right up until they decided they were done with them and got rid of them in some excruciating way.

Caleb couldn’t deny that this was an opportunity though. If the demon in his arms was willing to talk, which apparently it talked a lot, he could possibly get more information about Aesil and demons in general. There was a brief thought of how concerned he should be about himself for the subtle obsession of finding as much information about this stuff as possible that was starting to take over his mind but he brushed it aside. “Do you take over people’s bodies?” Maybe it had taken over the cat’s body? No, this wasn’t a normal cat that didn’t seem right. “How do I know I’m not going to wake up one day to you controlling me while trying to raise a greater demon?”

—

Gabagool felt the man’s grip on him tighten and closed his eyes for a moment, resisting the urge to react by sticking his claws in him. He was freaked out. Of course he was freaked out, apparently he’d been a vessel for a while. People didn’t like being vessels, Gabs could understand that. So he waited patiently for the man to speak, and when he did, the demon let out a little scoff.

“Me? No, no, of course not! My body is perfect for me, thanks very much, why would I want to crawl into someone else’s? Anyway, even if I did want to, I can’t. I’m not that kind of demon, y’see? I’m a badalisc. I can’t help my nature, mister, but I’m no body snatcher. As for raising greater demons…” Gabagool smiled gleefully at Caleb. “My greater demon is already raised! It’s walkin’ around town, happy as a clam. Didn’t hardly need anyone’s help to do it, either! It’s the best, honestly. There’s no better greater demon to work with. You’re gonna love ‘em. Y’know, I gotta tell them about this Aesil guy, though. He sounds like a stinker, and we’re not really in the market for competition. But Leviathan can take care of that problem easy peasy! You make friends with it, and it’ll have your back if that clown comes back to town! One greater demon is enough for a place of this size, don’t you think?”

—

He wanted to relax, forced himself to do so by lessening his grip on the animal, but how could Caleb even believe a word this thing was saying? He knew. He knew about the lies that spilled from the mouths of these things because he had been trapped with one for months watching every horrifying scene play out as he screamed for things to stop. Even now his own voice echoed in his mind, pleading for Aesil to end things by either leaving him or somehow taking him out to leave a husk the demon could have forever.

But he was getting some new information already even if he couldn’t trust the source. Caleb had a source he could trust, someone he could run this information by later and see what was truth and what wasn’t. It was the only thing calming him down. “Badalisc…I didn’t realize there were so many different types of you guys.”

His mouth ran dry as the badalisc continued, news of a greater demon already walking around making him feel a new kind of terror. From what he had gathered throughout the months of Aesil’s reign, the greater demon he was trying to raise had one goal and one goal only; to wipe out the human race. That demon despised humans, the undead even more so, and had been planning very cruel things for this dimension. If what this thing was telling him was true though, it didn’t seem like Leviathan had the same goals. Caleb hoped that was true. “You want me to meet them? And be friends?” That wasn’t happening. The idea of telling them about Aesil so they could take care of them? That could be arranged. “....Okay. I have a lot of information about Aesil I can pass along. I think I even know the name of the demon they were trying to raise.”

—

“Oh, there’s loads of little demon friends. Not all of us can talk, though. I’m special like that.” Gabagool beamed proudly, deciding to forgive the man for his tight grip. He seemed hesitant about meeting Leviathan, which was fair. Most people heard a name like that and started to remember all the human stories they’d ever heard and read about creatures called Leviathan, most of which were the demon in question at one point in its life. It could be terrible and cruel, just like the stories all said, but it did love humans. It was fascinated by them, even though it sometimes did terrible things to them. That was just greater demons, though. You can love a thing and treat it poorly, too — Gabagool had witnessed this plenty of times. It made sense, really, since humans were so very far beneath demons on the totem pole of life. They were like… pets. More like pets than even Gabagool was! Which he was fine with. He liked being pampered.

Of course there were exceptions to every rule, like his human brother, Teddy. Teddy was a human who was made into something better, then changed back. It’d been sad to see them lose what connection they’d had to their father, but it had been necessary. And Leviathan still seemed to love them just as much as it had when they were less human.

“Great! Leviathan would love to hear it, if you know the name. Is it their true name? Greater demons love to use aliases, you know. Leviathan isn’t my master’s real name, of course — we wouldn’t just use that in casual conversation. You can do a lot of damage with a greater demon’s true name. Leviathan might even be able to summon it to kill it!” He wiggled excitedly in Caleb’s arms, staring up at him with wide eyes. “It did that once before, you know! Killed a greater demon for a human. I don’t know if it would do that again, but it’s worth asking.”

—

“You sure are.” Caleb felt like he was on autopilot as he started to walk again, going over the bridge into World’s End Isle. The closer he got to this thing’s house, the more his body started to buzz with anxiety. He almost wanted to let it go on its own but the idea of sending Aesil and their greater demon to an end was too tempting to let go of. Their doom might even make him feel a little lighter knowing that they wouldn’t be back to continue what they started. It was a constant fear in the back of his mind. What if Van let them out again? Worse, what if she brought on the greater demon with the powers that she couldn’t control? Would Caleb be sought out for the use of his body? Would they succeed in taking over this time?

It was worth seeing this other one. As long as he didn’t get possessed yet again. “…I’m really putting a lot of trust in you right now.” Which felt like a mistake even as he looked down into the demon's eyes, even as he admitted to his master doing such a good thing before. It didn’t seem truthful though Caleb was probably biased…with good reason. “Please…please don’t lie to me about this.” He’d seen too many die by his own hand, good people who hadn’t deserved the fate that had been handed to them.

“Andras. The greater demon, Aesil called them Andras. I don’t know if that was his real name or not.” Was Aesil smart enough to not let Caleb in on the true name of the thing they were trying to raise. His money was on ‘no.’ The cockiness alone was enough to make them believe that Caleb was never coming back from inside his own mind. “Does it sound familiar to you?”

—

The house was like most in this area — large and somewhat imposing, especially when you knew that a demon lived inside of it. Well, two demons, technically. Gabagool might not have had the talents of Leviathan, but he was every inch as demonic! The sky was dark and smattered with stars that peeked out from behind the thick cloud cover, and the ocean roared behind the house with large, stormy waves that crashed against the private beach. There were a few lights on on the first floor, glowing amber and warm in contrast to all else in the town.

“I would never lie, mister. I’m honest as they come! Don’t worry, Leviathan will have a lot more interest in this possessor of yours — and the demon they serve — than it will in… you. To be blunt.” The town had no shortage of viable humans, there was no reason to go breaking the trust of this one just to add one more to the pile. No, he seemed like he’d be much more useful alive.

“Andras, though… no, that doesn’t sound familiar. Papá might know it, might know it by some other name, too. Sometimes the real names only pass the lips of other greater demons, you know? Very sacred stuff.”

As they approached the house that the badalisc indicated, he finally wiggled himself free from Caleb’s grasp and dropped down onto the footpath, stretching out his limbs before hopping up and down on the spot. “C’mon! Time’s a-wastin’!” Bounding up to the door, he leaped at the doorbell and slapped it with a paw, falling back into a heap before righting himself on the stoop, little nub of a tail wagging.

Footsteps approached the door, and there was a loud click as the lock was disengaged. Then, the door was pulled open and artificial light poured out onto the stone walkway. A large figure stood silhouetted in the doorway, silently assessing the stranger on his doorstep.

“Leviathan! This one’s got a story you’re going to want to hear.”

—

As Caleb watched the animal scurry out of his arms and up towards the door it was hard to believe that this wasn’t some unbelievably talented cat but instead a demon. He’d spent the better part of the last five months believing that those things came in only one form; evil. Gaba wasn’t evil, or he was at least doing an amazing job at lying if he was. Which...was possible. Demons were manipulative and even if Aesil lacked the cunning that the zombie believed they should possess he was pretty sure it was because a dud took over his body and that wasn’t normal. Still…watching him slap the doorbell with his paw almost made him smile.

But then the door opened and his eye was drawn upwards, that fear from earlier trickling back in when he took in the sight of this greater demon. Of course it was intimidating in all aspects, because why wouldn’t it be?

He met its stare for a brief moment before looking back down at the steps of the porch, not able to summon the strength to boldly look it in the eye. At Gaba’s insistence, Leviathan seemed to deem the zombie worthy of entrance and it stepped aside to let him in but he hesitated, swallowing down the lump that was forming in his throat. All he could do was hope this would pay off. He stepped forward, still avoiding the persistent gaze of the demon, and didn’t even bother looking around the house before he started his story.

“I’m Caleb…and I think there’s a demon you might want to look into.”

#. thread ;#. with ; caleb ellsworth #. time's a wastin ;

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morvantmortuary · 1 year ago

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Maxi Morvant is the bar that regular men have to reach for me… and I wonder why the fuck I’m single. I have no regrets. I will find my Maxi. (I love all three but goddamn I was a Maxi gal first)

Billy ahsksldlg you and I share the exact same brain I swear to god :’D

and I wrote him!! which somehow makes it even worse!!! I’m the one who put the ink onto the page (metaphorically) and I know for a fact he came out of the part of my brain that acts like a vessel for my muse!! don’t get me started about the woo-woo nonsense lore I’m developing around my own writing process istg

but to be Too Deep about it, on some level, I figure in a kind of backwards way, that if I can put that kind of love on the page, the realistic aspects of it aren’t… impossible to find, you know? because it exists in me, so it does exist. and that means it exists in other people, because I am a people, and in the grand scheme of things, as much as my gender/brain stuff makes me feel like a cryptid, I am probably not as unknowable or alien as I feel sometimes. life is long, neither of us have met all the people that are going to love us, we have plenty of time.

but the most important thing (and I know you know this, but I still feel like saying it) is that we find happiness in ourselves first. I am a big believer in Being Your Own Type (in the ways you can control, I obviously cannot turn myself into a beanpole of a man ten years older than me lmao). I’m in my ‘Having hobbies I’m super into and would want to share with a partner’ era, as well as doing things solely for myself. IRL, I’ve made it longer than most of my close friends still being single, and that means I can make entirely selfish decisions they wouldn’t be able to make without having to consult their partner. There’s a power in that. I can totally devote my life to my academic work and my writing with no other obligations (aside from my cat and his need for expensive prescription food lol). I’m looking at the job market again for the first time in a half decade, and it’s finally hitting me that I can go anywhere I want, as long as I have a job to stay afloat. I also found I really love living alone; I have my own routines that help me take care of myself as I would want to be taken care of, and my time is entirely mine to use as I wish. When I think about all the people in my family in the past who never got the chance to have that, who just went straight from living with their folks to marriage and families - I realize what a rare gift it is. idk!!

so I’m 100% with you - my standards are ridiculously impossibly high, especially considering they’re based on a literal Guy I Made Up. but also! I don’t really see the harm in that, because I’m pretty happy with myself and where I am now ✨

I bet we’ll both find our Maxis, if we give it time 😘 and I appreciate you taking the time to say so; it’s extremely flattering to hear that my favorite scrimblo (or one of them!) is the reason someone else has high standards for the kind of love they want for themselves 🥰

#nice people!!#the nicest <3 #BILLY! ✨#need one of those shirts with the single taken boxes and the third checked one is ‘dating a fictional necromancer’ :’D

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suometar · 6 months ago

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WIP Wednesday

I was tagged by @kallisto-k last week and since I always get their tags on Thursday, I decided to jump directly to next Wednesday :D

I've worked on four wips over the last week (out of seven in total lol) but two of them I'm writing with a friend so you'll get snippets of the two of my own!

Also enjoy the rare view into one wip I've worked more on and then another one that's literally just first words on a paper at the moment XD

WIP #1: Shutter love

The preparation routine, close to meditation, was interrupted by someone walking into the studio. Steve raised his gaze from the screen and a smile spread across his face when he saw Billy.

“Hi! Welcome! I’m Robin, we talked on the phone,” Robin greeted Billy, walking to him, and showing where he could leave his coat and his cloth bag to wait for the shoot to begin.

“Happy to be here,” Billy replied with a smile.

Steve took in the sight of Billy and Robin greeting each other. A shaft of sunlight streaming through the high windows caught the edges of Billy’s blond hair, igniting golden halos to dance around his head.

As if feeling Steve’s gaze, Billy looked up and their eyes locked. Time stretched thin, gossamer and fragile between them. The gaze was an electric thread, unspooling from from whatever it had been gathered into the other night, weaving through the space, drawing them together despite the distance.

Steve broke the spell first and walked towards Billy, each step measured and sure, but his pulse thrummed beneath his skin, betraying an excitement he hadn’t felt in years. There was something about this young model, something that beckoned like the promise of an undiscovered country.

“Hi! Nice to see you again,” Steve said, extending his hand and feeling the spark ignited in him in the party a few nights ago rekindling at the touch.

“Yeah, you too,” Billy replied, taking Steve’s hand and shaking it with firm confidence. A handshake of someone who knew their worth but didn’t make too much out of it.

The handshake lingered for a heartbeat longer than necessary and so they stood there, the handshake evolving into a recognition of the energy that was sparking between them.

Then the world rushed back in, and Steve rushed to remind him he knew nothing about Billy and definitely not if he was free or even interested in men.

“It’s an honor to get to work with you, Mr. Harrington,” Billy continued, his lips curving into a smile that reached his eyes. The sincerity in his tone matched the grip of his hand—earnest and eager.

“Please, call me Steve,” Steve said, releasing Billy's hand reluctantly. “And the pleasure is all mine."

::::::::::

WIP #2: Get out of my dreams, get into my car

“Uh…no. I’m not angry about…anything,” Steve replied.

“Good. Because you don’t have to worry about that. Moving away, I mean. I’m not planning on moving in with anyone soon.”

“Oh. Wait. You’re not?”

“Should I be?”

“But…Was the date horrible?”

“No, it wasn’t. It was nice.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Planning to see them again?” Steve asked quietly after a moment, staring at his coffee mug.

Billy shrugged. “Maybe.”

Steve just nodded.

Billy could feel the tips of his ears burning when he tried to find words for the second thing he wanted to talk about. “Um…That wasn’t all I wanted to talk about.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Uh…” Billy took a deep sigh. Better just to spit it out. “The red panties…” He felt his face burning. “They’re, uh…they’re mine. I, uh…I—I like to wear them. Sometimes. It’s a secret and…no one has known until now. I’m sorry you had to find out that way.”

::::::::::

No pressure tags: @destroya2005 @disdaidal @medusapelagia and everyone else who wants to participate!

#wip wednesday #suometar writes #harringrove

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ventu-ru · 1 year ago

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My Venture Bros Movie Thoughts (SPOILERS) scene by scene

I’ve watched this film twice already, and I’m about to put it on again for a third time to write my thoughts on it.

For context, I started watching the Venture Bros in January of this year. I was mostly putting it on the background for the lulz but when I saw the season 1 finale, I was hooked. With many of the people in the community saying it gets better with every season, I eagerly watched the series, before finally reaching the finale of season 7 around April/May.

Then, I joined the rest of the community in grieving the Venture Bros’ cancellation because I understood how well written and engaging the story was building up to this point.

Nevertheless, we were able to have a finale in the form of a movie, and I will be going scene by scene and laying down my thoughts because I figured it’d be a pretty cool time capsule of my thoughts.

Scene 1: Finding the homeless Hank decoy. So this was basically the teaser for the movie so I was familiar with this scene, but I think they added some lines that weren’t there before. I’m sure we all saw it coming that it wasn’t going to be Hank, especially now that we know its the first scene in the film.

Opening Credits

Scene 2: Sheila asks Rusty for a simple cheek swab to confirm his relation to Malcolm, but Dean comes in to interrupt them, saying OSI is quitting the search for Hank. Its funny, in a cringe and pathetic way, that Rusty still thinks Sheila likes him. I don’t even like Rusty that much anyway, so it works for me, haha. Dean comes in, complaining that the search is off, which gives Sheila a chance to get Rusty’s coffee mug for DNA sampling before being on her way. The interaction between Dean and his father here tells us what we need to know about why I dislike this man LOL. While Rusty has a point that Hank does weird and zany stuff like this, his nonchalant attitude still bothers me. He doesn’t have clones of his sons anymore so, uh, he should be more worried when they’re in danger, right?? Anyway, Dean has every right to be worried, but Rusty is more worried about his bank account. Billy comes running in after Dean leaves to tell Rusty about the problem with the new product.

Scene 3: Sheila spots Malcolm and Gary spying on her and she has a talk with them before dropping them off at the train station. Malcolm doesn’t want to wait around for DNA tests in order to arch Venture, but it’s under Guild protocol that he does. Sheila gets an emergency call from the Guild and drops Malcolm and Gary off at the station. I’m totally understanding of both sides of the situation. I also love how Gary is literally sitting in the middle of all this despite them having the entire limo space to sit. He’s literally playing the audience surrogate right now. Anyways, I’ve always loved Malcolm and Sheila’s relationship and I really hate to see them fight, but luckily nothing’s been escalated to that extent.

Scene 4: Billy and Pete show Rusty what the problem is with the new HelperPod. It starts floating out of nowhere and can unexpectedly drop when turned off, endangering babies and other smol creatures. My dude is literally not gonna stop the launch because of the new bug and expects Billy to fix it overnight, which Billy explains is not possible. H.E.L.P.eR. sees this new product and runs off, thinking that it’s being replaced.

Almost 5 scenes in and we are off to a good and efficient start! We got 4 plot lines started with Rusty’s product launch, Sheila’s investigation with the Guild, Malcolm’s discontent with the inability to arch, and Dean’s discontent with the OSI’s effort to look for Hank. While the movie’s been efficient so far, we can already see how much is packed in here- and we haven’t even seen Hank yet!

Scene 5: Malcolm and Gary run into Debra at the train station, where its revealed that she was Malcolm’s ex and now she runs ARCH, which piques their interest because they are not associate with the Guild.

Scene 6: The Guild of Calamitous Intent review an unauthorized arching by BrickFrog. Sheila says that this isn’t an isolated event and needs more investigating. A pretty short scene, but sets up that Sheila is trying to investigate this crime and we get Guild banter.

Scene 7: Dean goes to Dr. Orpheus for help finding Hank. He gets attacked by a clothes golem that we find out is Al’s ‘creation’. They recently moved into a new HQ in New York so that’s pretty cool to see. While him and Jefferson kinda play fight with it, Dean talks with Dr. O, who tells him that he’s able to faintly track Hank through visions of past, present and future. Dr. O asks Jefferson if they can use his vehicle, and he agrees, only if Jefferson is the one who drives. This sets up the use of the golem in a scene later that I did not expect.

Scene 8: We finally get to hear from Hank, who is writing in his journal on a train heading to Denver, Colorado. He is also switching to his different personalities as he’s describing his escape from the hospital, to setting up the decoy from the first scene, to traveling around New York before hopping on a train. I questioned the fact that he uses a check signed by himself that traces back to the Venture bank account, but no one else brings this up as a way to track him... so it might have happened the day after OSI dropped the search for Hank? Anyways, I also noticed that the alter-egos come out when Hank is dealing with a lot of grief or danger or just in intense situations. For example, when he was giving up his stuff to the homeless people, he is grieving over letting go of his materials and running away. He was in his batman alter-ego. Then, right after he recalls the betrayal by Sirena and Dean, he imagines all of his alter-egos. This just shows his way of coping. On a side note, when I first saw this scene, I misheard Detective-Hank saying, “There’s only ever one dame who ever left ya...” as “There’s only ever one (Dean) who (never) left ya...” and because they were going to Colorado, I thought he was going to go make a clone of Dean or something, that woulda been WAY CRAZY. So out there, that it would prolly only happen in fan fiction or something crazy like that.

Scene 9: Gary and Malcolm talk about ARCH and eventually look into the business card Gary was given, leading the ARCH ship right to their hideout. I thought it was funny that Gary was making a big deal and drew the connection that Malcolm hated Rusty for stealing his gf, but Malcolm says that thats merely near the bottom of the list of why he hates Venture.

Scene 10: OSI cleans up the crime scene shown back in scene 6, Red Death and Sheila go to do some forensics. YAY SHORELEAVE. I love the little banter of them thinking about Brock vs Red Death. That is definitely something for the fan base to debate over till the end of time. Red Death steals a phone from one of the hennchmen to get to the bottom of this.

Scene 11: Debra leads Malcolm and Gary through ARCH HQ, explaining that ARCH is a global organization that is quiet and efficient. Stuff like this makes me really really REALLY sad that this isn’t going to be continued because it shows the potential for this series to grow and and go in different directions and naturally increase the stakes. Finally, she shows off the different gadgets they can have if they join ARCH.

Scene 12: Now, we’re back to Jefferson, Dr. O and Dean’s road trip to Colorado! Jefferson makes a stop back at his old place and we finally FINALLY get a peak of his life behind the scenes. I’ve been wanting this for forever now cuz he’s been one of my fave characters since I started watching. He states that if they get a head start tomorrow morning, they’ll be with Hank by mid-day tomorrow. It kinda sucks that this was the only time we really got to see more of Jefferson in the whole series, but I’ll take it!

Scene 13: Hank reached the Venture compound at night, but it has been demolished. Feeling dreadful, his detective-Hank alter comes in and tells him to look again. This starts off the sequence of flashbacks throughout the Venture compound that genuinely made me smile in sweet nostalgia (despite seeing the whole series a few months ago) that I bet hit hardest to the people who’ve been with the series day one. It ends with Hank getting a reality check before immediately remembering his coma-dream, where he recalls his ‘mothers’ name- Bobbi St. Simone. Then, he is spotted by Dermott, who believes he still works under OSI.

Scene 14: Rusty is still working on his launch for tomorrow morning, setting up the panel and everything. Billy and Pete head out to get ready for an all-nighter to work on the bugs of the HelperPod. Pretty short scene again, Rusty being narcissistic as usual. “Well, hide the thing under your coat, there might be paparazzi outside.”

Scene 15: Malcolm and Gary sneak into the lair at night to check out the new costumes. I think I liked the old costumes more... but I’m glad that they’re enjoying them and their new features. Malcolm and Gary have the best dynamic, it’s great.

Scene 16: We get a 1960′s trailer for a movie that starred Bobbi St. Simone. Dermott recognizes her face and name because there was an old photo of her given to Rusty that she signed. Dermott’s been hoarding a bunch of the Venture’s stuff LMAO for ‘security purposes’ but Hank isn’t convinced by the excuse. They get interrupted by ‘Mr. Potter’/Ben who wants a polyphase Venturilium converter from Dermott... which idk why he would have that? My guess is that Dermott thinks the gadgets just look cool. Maybe he secretly wants to be included in the Venture Bros’ adventures? idk. Hank watches a PSA from Bobbi and finds out she’s at a zoo of some sorts.

Scene 17: Dr. O wakes from his sleep, seeing the vision of Hank hanging out with Dermott and wakes up Jefferson and Dean to head out. They get ambushed by Jefferson’s enemies and unfortunately, magic doesn’t work on them, so no Jefferson and Dr. O co-op fight scene :( Dean thinks he got bit by one of the vampires. Prolly one of my favorite lines: “Did that sum-bitch just bail on us?” They’re able to escape when they release the golem on them. I bet if this was a season-long, the group would be able to track Jefferson, leading to another fight scene either at the zoo with Hank and Bobbi or with Dermott at his place.

Scene 18: Gary and Malcolm go to arch Venture with their new gear. Also short, not much to say... I love how it starts with Gary exclaiming, ‘Its the Police!’ referencing a band name rather than the actual police.

Scene 19: This scene sort of confused me when I first watched it, but basically, Red Death, Brock and Shoreleave find evidence that frames Sheila as the culprit of the crime sprees and give her the chance to run away.

Scene 20: Back with Gary and Malcolm continuing Scene 18, Debra abandons them in the Venture compound. Luckily, they just have to deal with Sgt. Hatred, not the wrath of Brock, so they’re relatively safe. Debra then sets off the HelperPods through the bug that Billy and Pete were investigating. This makes them all release their own magnetic fields and gravitational forces and make the building float up into space.

Scene 21: Brock sees the building flying out into space and calls Rusty to tell him what’s going on. Rusty finally looks outside and realizes that the building is exiting the earth’s atmosphere. I’m surprised he hasn’t heard the music from the bots yet.

Scene 22: Billy and Pete try to get the HelperPod down, but is only taken down by getting shot at, which Billy tells Rusty in a call.

Scene 23: Red Death’s horse, Daisy guides Sheila to Debra because they believe she’s been the one who framed her.

Scene 24: Dr. O goes to Dermott and asks him about Hanks’ whereabouts. Another one of my fave lines: “Liar! Pants aflame!!” This scene also showcases how scary and physical Dean can actually be, especially when someone he cares about is in danger. (But also when he believes that he’s turning into a vampire). I would have loved for this to be explored in a later season or something because there’s some stuff there that would make Dean a much much more interesting character (imo the fans seem to gravitate to Hank’s character rather than Dean cuz he’s just had more interesting character moments. So I think a storyline tackling this side of Dean would be a great direction for his character).

Scene 25: Hank finally reaches the old zoo where Bobbi is. All his alter-egos come out, skeptical but curious as to who the mother is. He gets attacked by a gorilla, but is saved by Bobbi. When she hears that him and Dean had a falling out, she says that, “Family is- it’s everything, really.”

Scene 26: Billy and Pete finally figure out the vulnerability and call Rusty to explain the situation. They tell him to manually turn off the robots. Shooting them is one way of doing that, but before Billy can communicate the issues with that approach, they lose connection. I kinda liked this scene, since Rusty admits, “I was happier as a middling super-scientist in the middle of nowhere!”

Scene 27: Hunter Gathers decides that they’ll have to shoot down the Ven-Tech building to save people on earth. Brock tries to talk him into saving them, to no avail. I think Brock was tryna go for a ‘Venture may not have a lot but they got me!’ kinda speech, but it falls flat and they laugh at him lol. But then he brings up that Sheila is behind the scenes trying to talk to Debra, and has faith that she’ll put a stop to it.

Scene 28: Sheila and Daisy reach Debra’s apartment and Daisy jumps to a bunch of conclusions about Debra’s plan before she can explain herself. It’s pretty funny because with every conclusion Daisy came up with, I found myself thinking of it as a possibility, but Debra was having none of that LOL.

Scene 29: Bobbi finally gets to explain her story and once again, we get Hank intervening and jumping to conclusions about her being his mother. I think it was pretty amusing, but having it back to back like that and being the same kinda joke (character jumps to ridiculous conclusions after getting a few bread crumbs of info) might get stale after a few viewings. Bobbi finally explains that she isn’t his mother, sending Hank into a confused spiral of emotion, and into another coma. So I think these coma trips have been happening whenever he’s had an emotionally traumatic moment and needs to escape reality. Dr. O and the gang finally reach them and offer to help.

Scene 30: Meanwhile, Malcolm, Gary and Rusty and Sgt. Hatred all agree to work together to take down the HelperPods. Even H.E.L.P.eR. comes to help. Unfortunately, their mission to take down the Pods ends TERRIBLY. It was pretty horrifying to see what happened to the characters because it looked more severe than the usual cartoon injuries they’ve endured in the past. But in retrospect, nothing too crazy for Venture Bros.

Scene 31: Hank sulks in the coma-dream while all his alters come out to play. Dr. O comes to him and tells him that they’re there to rescue him. Hank doesn’t believe he has a place to go back to.

Scene 32: Back in the real world, Bobbi makes it clear to Dean that shes not his mom and he says he already knows, but doesn’t remember seeing her before.

Scene 33: Meanwhile, Debra tries to convince Sheila to join her in ARCH. Sheila defends herself that she’s happy where she is and she chose this life. Debra reveals that she is Force Majeure’s daughter. She also had previous contact with Rusty. “And I gave [Rusty] my...stuff I wasn’t planning on using.” At first, I thought that this was just gadgets or something but now I think its some DNA and reproductive stuff that helped create Dean and Hank? They finally come to an agreement and she turns off the HelperPods that are making the Ven-Tech building up in space.

Scene 34: I think this is the first scene where I can sorta see... the limitations in production. But its only speculation. Back in the Ven-Tech building, the four guys make it through the vents and into a safe space to recuperate. They notice that they are in free fall and need to get on a space ship out of the building to get out safely. They start floating upwards, but then the screen gets dimmer and dimmer implying there are not lights in this part of the building. But it also helps cut down on animation. But they find the mecha, Ventronic, from Season 3.

Scene 35: Hank and Dr. O talk and Dr. O guides Hank back to reality before Dean accidentally stumbles in the dream, gets beaten by Hank’s alters before being saved by Hank. I really really wish this was expanded on in a bit of a more creative and engaging, sorta adventure type of way. I see a lot of potential. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I saw Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish, but I was hoping it would be similar to that. I loved how Dean accidentally got himself tangled up in that for a few seconds before they exited the coma dream... but similar to my last sentence, I truly wish that it was expanded upon. It didn’t feel as satisfying, especially with how hurt Hank was by this betrayal. Furthermore, while Dr. O was a pivotal role in getting to Hank’s coma-dream, I wish it was Dean who brought him out by directly talking to him. Even when they did talk...

Scene 36: They bring Hank out of the coma-dream but notice that the Ven-Tech building is falling from the sky. I’m prolly gonna get into a whole discussion on how to fix this later, but this scene is one of the furthest things from satisfying to me. Which sucks. Hank gets out of his coma-dream and apologizes to Dean about his alter’s beating him up. Dean said he kinda deserves it. But Dean doesn’t apologize to him??? uhhhhhhhhhhh. He wrote a whole ass letter and read it to his brother when he was in a coma, but he never heard any of it so like... even a short sorry would have been something? Or like ‘hey I wrote a letter about the situation and thought you should know. I read it to you while you were in your coma but you probably didn’t hear it, so let me just say I’m sorry...’ IDK it just didn’t sit right with me that Hank was the only one who apologized. Maybe he was going to go into it, but Hank asks about their father and Brock, and then they get interrupted by the falling building so...

Scene 37: This sequence is a call-back to that one episode in Season 3. It was unexpected, but welcome! I enjoyed it at least. The Ventronic and OSI save the building from crash-landing on earth. Instead, it safely lands right where the old Ven-Tech building used to be in Denver, Colorado. Where Jefferson, Dr. O, Hank and Dean are able to go.

Scene 38: Malcolm climbs out of the robot and is crushed by the statue of Jonas Venture, needing immediate medical attention. Ben rushes to the scene, claiming that he can help.

Scene 39: Invisible Debra and Sheila analyze the DNA test results from Malcolm and Rusty- confirming that they are clones instead of brothers. I’m not sure why they chose to be invisible?? Another budget saving technique maybe.

Scene 40: Rusty and Malcolm get the news that they are clones and Rusty’s donation of blood helps Malcolm’s operation succeed. Malcolm is bummed that hes a clone and Rusty is more non-chalant and chuckling, saying that he should have expected this.

Scene 41: Brock, Sgt Hatred, Gary, Jefferson, Dr. O and even H.E.L.P.eR. 2 hang out in the living room area when Ben comes in to deliver the news that they are clones of Jonas. He also notes that Malcolm has 25 baboon in his DNA to counter-act balding, but it made him more aggressive. His code name was also ‘R-22′ meaning there was more than 20 other versions of Rusty. Speaking of which, he comes in the room, looking for the twins so that he could ‘blow their little minds...again.’ His reaction seems a lot more upbeat and light-hearted.

Scene 42: Malcolm sulks in his operation bed until Sheila comes in through the window, still invisible. She cheers him up and this is prolly one of my fave scenes of them, they’re awesome together. Nevertheless, I still felt like it was a short scene of one of my fave duos on the show.

Scene 43: Ben gives Hank a watch that Jonas gave him before Rusty was born. He also tells Hank that “Blood doesn’t choose your family, love does. Your grandpap knew that.” Its a very interesting quote, because it tells a different side to the Jonas Venture we’ve learned about throughout the series. Like, I kinda find it hard to believe Jonas would do such a thing LOL. Anyways, this is a really nice moment. I wonder why they included a watch with 2 different time zones. I’m soooo curious to the back story of the watch. Nevertheless, I still wish we had more closure to Hank and Dean’s plotline.

Scene 44: Dean talks with Rusty and asks him who their mother is. Rusty doesn’t give him an answer, saying, “I don’t even know who my mom is!” Before assuring him that, “All you need to know is that the person who gave birth to you loves you.” And Dean hugs him. I don’t like Rusty but moments like these give me hope that if the show continued, we’ll have more human moments for him. Rusty’s dad prolly never hugged him, so I’m glad Dean’s getting at least a lil more hugs. Unfortunately, none from Rusty to Hank :(

Scene 45: Malcolm’s return. Malcolm enters the room, announcing that he will continue arching Venture, using the revelation of his bloodline and genetics as fuel for his hatred. But first, Brock gets him an Uber.

End Credits

Scene 46: Post credit scene. This scene is set in the past, showing Rusty using a synthetic womb to carry Hank and Dean when they were fetuses. H.E.L.P.eR. is in the background singing a lullaby and preparing cribs for the babies[This single-handedly makes me appreciate and love H.E.L.P.eR. even more <3] Rusty’s watch goes off, saying ‘Wake the boys.’ And he says that the boys are ‘about done.’ This basically implies that he’s the one who technically gave birth to them, despite Debra giving him the other reproductive stuff he’d need to create them.

End of Movie Notes

Yeah, so... that was that... Again, the movie just had too much to pack into it, which was just a result of the unfortunate limitations. I truly wished that they had at LEAST 2 hours to make the whole thing, then we would have had much more satisfying character moments. I was the most disappointed with how Hank and Dean’s storyline played out, but considering the limitations the writers had on this project, they did a fantastic job. It could have been much much worse and handled poorly. All in all, it was a good send-off. Too good, since its leaving the fans wanting more. If there’s any way to petition or write physical letters to an organization or anything, I would support that in a heartbeat. I’d send a letter a week or whatever it takes to show my undying support (as you can see, I write a lot, so these letters would be long AFFF). As you can see, I’m still a big fan and would love to see Venture Bros continue, there’s just too much unexplored territory in this story, it’d be a shame for it to go to waste! Depending on my schedule this week, I will write a follow up to this, writing about how I would go about concluding the story for Dean and Hank.

Go, Team Venture!!

#venture bros #venture bros movie #spoilers

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seafoamchild · 2 years ago

Text

april 22nd

i've had a very social few days. on thursday i went to the art museum with lora and my mom for the flower show. it was really fun. and then on the way home my mom told me one of their cats died. it was really sudden. i'm glad he's not in pain anymore but that just sucks. i didn't get to say goodbye. i loved that cat and it sucks that i'll never see him again. i haven't really given myself the time and space yet to think about this and be emotional about it. i tent to automatically suppress all of my negative emotions. i want to cry about the death of my cat, but i'm so uncomfortable with sadness that i don't know how to anymore.

anyway, yesterday i went to get drinks with austin. he had reached out to me after 6 months of no contact because he told me he just couldn't talk to me anymore. i knew it probably wasn't a good idea to meet up, but my curiosity got the best of me as usual. i told him about my recent trips and the whole fiasco in ecuador where i got attacked by dogs and then mugged. he told me he has a new girlfriend and that they vibe really well and have great chemistry. i was like That's awesome! But then he also was talking about our relationship and how he was angry with me for months after we "broke up" for not communicating my feelings during the relationship. I was like, That's fair. I definitely have some avoidant tendencies I need to work on. But then he was also like "I had this perception of your perception of me, and it was that I was weak and pathetic" and I'm thinking Sooo like your perception of yourself? and he went on to say that he had finally accepted that we aren't sexually compatible and that he was so insecure about not being able to be the dominant partner i wanted, and that he didn't want to be rough with me because he knew i'd been sexually assaulted and didn't make me want to relive that. i was like, first of all, none of this has anything to do with me, this is all in your own head - like you are projecting your insecurities all over me. also, if i tell you what i want in bed, why would you think you know better? why would you assume that makes me relive my assaults (it doesn't)? it was just a weird thing to bring up in the first place. oh and then he was also like "if you could switch bodies with anyone, like freaky friday, who would you pick?" and i was like A great horned owl Duhh i wanna fly. Then i asked who he would pick and he was like My girlfriend. I was like What would you do if you woke up as her? and he was like Have sex. Like he would literally switch bodies so he could have sex with himself lol. What a fucking WEIRD thing to say to me and also that he asked me that question fully knowing his own response. like truly wtf. i don't think i wanna hang out with him again. cuz that was weird that he felt the need to say all that to me.

well then today i went to breakfast, went to the domes and thrifting with liz, and then to billy's surprise birthday party which ended up being really fun. it was so good to see everyone and to know pretty much everyone who was there. i have made a wide social circle for myself here and that feels good.

#journal

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nerdyreaderpapi · 4 months ago

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I LOVE DOUBLE UPDATES!!

1) “If cloud nine existed, James was sat right upon it, standing with his arm around his girl while talking and drinking with her friends and sister, unable to keep from turning to gaze at her fondly. There she was, at last, right by his side.”

- I’m sorry but this made me smile so hard! No one understands the joy I feel knowing they’re both together again! Literally feel like a parent watching them be together again!

2) “Just so you know, I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off this, innit,” he began, squeezing her bum firmly. “You’ve got an arse, Ells bells! I’m so fucking proud of you. And horny, because you looking fucking top grade sexy!”

- JAMES COME HOME THE KIDS MISS YOU!! lol, I love his honesty, I’ve always loved how he speaks to Ella.

3) He stopped then, moving into her path, touching his fingers beneath her chin to lift it gently. “It was fucking worth everything, babe. Everything. That was the only thing that was hard, being away from you. Not having you there to unload everything that was in my head, or just sit and laugh with, forget about it all for a while.” He paused, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Nearly told ‘em to turn around about twenty fucking times along the way, I felt so bad for leaving you. Fucking broke me a bit, innit, doing it like that. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have left, though. I needed to, Ella, to get where I am now.”

- THANKS FOR MAKING ME TEAR UP!! Seriously, James is a ducking poet, because that was fucking poetry right there!! Listening to wildflower by Billie Eilish and reading that scene over again feels like heaven!! JAMES I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

4) He threw his head back, his rumbling laugh sounding like music to her. “Yeah, little. Here you fucking are. I swear, seeing you in the crowd, best surprise ever. I was just like ‘what the fucking fuck? She’s here! Shitting hell, she’s right fucking there!’ when I saw you. Couldn’t believe it.”

- something about James being so excited to see Ella will always make me melt!! Like excuse me?!!? JAMES IS THE BEST MAN EVER ISTG!! His happiness is everything to me and seeing him so excited to see Ella, seriously made me cry real tears!!

5) Taking it, he looked down, dropping the pizza slice back into the box and covering his mouth with his hand. “Shitting hell.” To say she looked like death was an understatement. And he’d thought she’d been scarily thin at just over a stone heavier when he’d first met her. “Ella... fuck. Seeing you like that makes me wanna fucking cry, innit, and I don’t cry easy. That’s twice with you now, fucking dickhead.”

THATS ALL!! ME JUST CRYING ONCE AGAIN! 😭😭😭

6) After eating three slices of his half of the pizza, Ella managing one and a little bit, he rolled them a joint, stretching out on the sofa with his head in her lap. The feel of her nails combing over his scalp and through his hair was a comfort he’d sorely missed over the last seven weeks, reaching to stroke the side of her neck as he smiled up at her.

- Okay first of all, I LOVE YOU MY BABY ELLA FOR EATING!! I’m so proud of her! Second of all, James laying his head on Ella’s lap is so frickin cute! I swear I wanna take a walk on the highway, like holy cow, they’re the cutest couple ever!! And Ella running her fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp! YEAH LET ME GO CRY AGAIN.!!!

7) “darlin’”

- this deserved it’s own section. That’s it. That’s all I needed to say.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THESE CHAPTERS!! It made me laugh, smiled AND FRICKIN CRY BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE THEY ARE!!

Thank you so much for these amazing updates! I’m so excited for more! And a reminder, you are SO frickin awesome 💗💗💗 my love for this book is beyond anything else!!

Light on the Darkside - Chapter Eleven.

Remember darlings, it's double update today, so if you see this chapter first, remember you have chapter ten to read prior! :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,647

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Topics cover depression, suicide and eating disorders. Minors DNI!

If cloud nine existed, James was sat right upon it, standing with his arm around his girl while talking and drinking with her friends and sister, unable to keep from turning to gaze at her fondly. There she was, at last, right by his side. She looked amazing for the extra weight she’d gained, his eyes picking out the obvious, of course. Boobs. His hand moved to rest on the other.

“Just so you know, I’m not gonna be able to keep my hands off this, innit,” he began, squeezing her bum firmly. “You’ve got an arse, Ells bells! I’m so fucking proud of you. And horny, because you looking fucking top grade sexy!”

He leaned to nibble her neck, making her giggle, Ella turning to softly thump his chest before looking up at him. “Calm down!”

“Nah.” They happily fell into another kiss then, enjoying it for a few moments before he pulled away, grabbing her hand. “Come with me a minute.”

Placing their drinks down on the bar, he then led her in the direction of the doors, nodding at the bouncer on the way out into the still warm early October night, moving to the side of the club away from the noise of the music. There, he wrapped his arms around her again, humming happily before giving her another kiss.

“So, why didn’t you call me?”

Ahh. She might have known she’d have that coming. “Truth?”

“Always, babe.”

Hiding her face against his chest for a second, she took a deep breath. “I was nervous!”

His facial expression was an absolute picture. “You fucking what?”

“You heard!” she laughed, shaking her head.

“But it’s me!” he continued loudly, curling his lip and having her in soft hysterics.

“I’m aware it sounds ridiculous now, but I was. I had all these silly thoughts, like wondering if you might have gotten out and gone off me, or met someone else.” His eye roll was immense. “Needless to say, I’m not anymore!”

“You shitting well better not be, darlin’!” He then looked her up and down again, mouth spreading into a wide grin. “Seriously, you look so fucking gorgeous.”

Beaming, she wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers weaving into his beautiful hair. “Looking pretty mint yourself, BFG.”

They stayed out the front talking a little more and kissing for a few minutes, James taking her hand again, leading her back inside to introduce her to his band. The rest of Nocturnal Descent were occupying one of the big tables outside in the spacious beer garden, Ella finally able to put faces to all the names of the men she’d heard so much about.

“Nah, honey,” Steve began upon giving her a meeting hug, “what’s someone as cute as you doing with Kingston here? Fucks sake, you need to upgrade. Get yourself a man who doesn’t fart so bad, you feel like you’re in the gas chamber. Or one who’s got a decent sized cock instead of a worm.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. Mainly because she knew the former to be true, and the latter she’d bet, from what she’d tentatively felt pressing against her a few times, was very much false.

James arched an eyebrow. “Well, that ain’t you on either count, is it, fucking flatulent, pin-dicked twat.”

To his credit, Steve guffawed, gripping James’s shoulder before making as if he was about to punch him in the balls. “Ya dickead,” he growled, turning his attention to Ella. “So, Ella. What do I have to do to get Andrea’s phone number?”

“Ask her yourself when she comes to stay with me. However, if you’re only like, out for the ‘I shagged a sex addict’ trophy then she’ll let you down, mate. It’s sleeping around spontaneously that lead her into treatment. And that’s all I’m saying. Save her privacy.”

How very Ella, James thought proudly, snort laughing when Steve pouted.

“Alright, what about the honey with the massive tits over yonder taking to your sis?”

“And he calls me a tart,” Janes snorted, sipping his pint.

“Single,” she confirmed, giggling at the speed he moved down to the next table with. Turning back to James, she leaned to kiss his cheek. “You having a good night?”

“I am,” he revealed, “but I don’t wanna stay much longer. Just wanna spend some time with you. If you like, you can come stay at mine?”

Oh yes. She liked.

They left at midnight, Ella feeling a little buzz, James not so much other than the one he had from walking back up the high street towards home hand in hand with her.

“So, what was it like at the place you were transferred to? And how long since you came out?” she asked, lighting a cigarette and offering him one he took with thanks.

“Little, I am fucking telling you, worlds apart from Moor Acres. My therapist is top grade amazing, such a fucking sound guy. First session I had with him was the day I arrived. We just sat and chilled, talking about music and drinking tea for the first half hour. In those thirty fucking minutes, he figured out more about me than Dr. Beaumont did in five and a half months, innit. As for how long I’ve been out, just over two weeks. How about you?”

“Eleven days, and I’m so thrilled for you, that your last month of being in an institution was so positive: it was one of the things I worried about, after you’d gone. You might have been sent to a bleedin’ shithole of a place and not made progress, and without me there to help you. For whatever that was worth.”

He stopped then, moving into her path, touching his fingers beneath her chin to lift it gently. “It was fucking worth everything, babe. Everything. That was the only thing that was hard, being away from you. Not having you there to unload everything that was in my head, or just sit and laugh with, forget about it all for a while.” He paused, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Nearly told ‘em to turn around about twenty fucking times along the way, I felt so bad for leaving you. Fucking broke me a bit, innit, doing it like that. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have left, though. I needed to, Ella, to get where I am now.”

The way he’d done it truly had left her feeling completely broken for a time, but she saw it so clearly, how it radiated through him. He could cope with it, the noise in his head, those feelings of despair. Whoever the therapist was who he’d seen at the place he’d ended up, she could have kissed him. He’d definitely helped him much more than Dr. Beaumont.

“I won’t lie, it was pants, being without you. I was half heartbroken, half bleedin’ livid with you, when I sat and read that letter,” she began.

“Yeah, thought you would be,” he interjected with.

“Sat and cried for an hour, blamed myself, had Andrea give me some really sound advice and like, state again what I knew but didn’t want to let myself believe. Then, I knew what I had to do. Get better, get released, and find you.” She beamed, holding her arms wide. “Here I am!”

He threw his head back, his rumbling laugh sounding like music to her. “Yeah, little. Here you fucking are. I swear, seeing you in the crowd, best surprise ever. I was just like ‘what the fucking fuck? She’s here! Shitting hell, she’s right fucking there!’ when I saw you. Couldn’t believe it.”

They continued to walk at a leisurely place, James telling her a few stories he’d amassed from his month in Birmingham, Ella sharing a few of her own.

“He was moved the week I was let out, big Keith. Sent to Broadmoor, so I heard. Went absolutely psycho and almost killed another patient, so they had no choice. I saw the blood all down the stairs, it was fucking brutal,” she spoke, James’s eyes widening, although he wasn’t all too surprised. He’d quietly wondered during his own time there, just how many chances of rehabilitation they would give to the twenty-eight stone, six feet seven behemoth of fury that was big Keith.

“That don’t really surprise me. He used to sit up all night, howling like a fucking wolf unless they shot him up with tranqs. Wouldn’t take his meds half the time, attacked the staff daily. Way worse than how I was,” he spoke, a scent of familiarity drifting under his nose. “You hungry, by the way? We’re getting near to Prezzo, and they actually do proper pizza in there, none of that carboard tasting shit. If that’s too scary, they do salad and all that, too.”

Hmmm, she could eat, she supposed. It had been seven hours since her small plate of pasta for dinner. “Yeah, alright then. Let me get it, though. You bought me enough drinks already tonight.”

“Nope, he spoke, steering her over to the other side of the high street when the traffic broke. “I’ve got music money burning a hole in my wallet. Apparently, while I was away the record took off hugely in Japan. I have a few more zero’s than I’m used to on the ole’ bank balance.” One stop at Prezzo, a small back and forth over Ella’s request for ham and pineapple – and James’s deep distain over such – and a pizza constructed with half that and half tandoori chicken was purchased, the pair on the move again once more.

“Oh, shit! That building is amazing, I love it!” she spoke as the old factory housing James and Steve’s flat came into view, Ella wondering why the hell he’d referred to something with so much character as a shithole. It really wasn’t, not even when they got inside and climbed the stairs up to the second floor.

The old brickwork gave it character, the original windows too, James taking his keys from the thick wallet chain he wore and unlocking the door of number six when they arrived there.

“Bathroom is that door there,” he spoke upon entering, pointing to his right after switching on the light, a light that flickered for a few seconds before the bulb popped. “Ahh, shit! Fuck, don’t think we’ve got any more bulbs. Hang on.” He strode for the kitchen area, lighting a candle on his way and using it to illuminate the cupboard under the sink, Ella just about able to see the sofa through the gloom, placing the pizza box down on the coffee table and taking a seat.

“Any luck?”

“Nah, I’ll have to go get some tomorrow. Fucks sake. Don’t matter though, we’ve got about a billion fucking candles, innit.” He went about lighting them, the space nicely illuminated, moving next to the stereo in the corner and taking a CD from one of the shelves that ran the length of the wall. Thier music collection was staggering.

“What’s this that you’ve put on? It’s very atmospheric,” she spoke, James shrugging his leather jacket off and hanging it on the corner of the armchair, kicking his boots off and joining her on the sofa.

“This is that guy Varg Vikernes we talked about a while back, you know, the actual church burner,” he replied, opening the pizza box and taking a slice out.

“Hold on, I might be able to impress you here. I think I know what his project is called, Jane loves it. What is it now,” she began, clicking her fingers and winding her hand around as she tried to remember. “Burdum? Bursim?”

“Close,” he spoke, taking another bite. “Burzum, but ten points for trying, little.”

“Thanks!” she chirped on a laugh, reaching for a slice, watching him crinkle his nose up. “What? I like pineapple on a pizza. It’s mint. Get over it.”

His reply dripped sarcasm. “I’m sure Italians the world over would agree.”

“Oh, don’t be concerned if I like, only have one or two slices. This is a big pizza and this is a lot for me to eat in one sitting,” she spoke, tucking her chin a little before taking a small bite.

“Nah, I ain’t gonna monitor you. It’s a scary food, too. Dough, cheese.”

It touched her greatly, that he remembered all of this. “Yeah. Like, it’s less scary now, but I keep reminding myself what Dr. Beaumont told me. Every meal I manage to eat is an accomplishment, an extra mile on my health journey. It helps. I finally had a breakthrough with it when I’d almost reached my target weight. Mary told me to stand in my undies and look at myself, then showed me a picture of how I looked when I was first admitted.”

“I bet it was shocking, right?” James asked, starting on his second slice. God, he was starving.

Reaching for her bag, she pulled out her wallet, taking from it the folded-up picture she kept with her always to remind her how far she’d come. “Here, see for yourself.”

Taking it, he looked down, dropping the pizza slice back into the box and covering his mouth with his hand. “Shitting hell.” To say she looked like death was an understatement. And he’d thought she’d been scarily thin at just over a stone heavier when he’d first met her. “Ella... fuck. Seeing you like that makes me wanna fucking cry, innit, and I don’t cry easy. That’s twice with you now, fucking dickhead.”

Taking the picture back, she leaned to kiss his cheek, stroking his hair. “When was the first time?”

“When they were driving me away from Moor Acres.” He looked very uncomfortable at revealing that, frowning, side eyeing her. “Knob.”

The snort of laughter that came from her was huge, tucking her wallet away again as she giggled. “My grumpy church burner.”

“To use one of your favourite expressions, shut your hole,” he retorted, only succeeding in making her laugh more. Oh, how she’d missed him. Even when he was pissed off at her. He didn’t stay that way for long, though, nudging her with a soft elbow and turning his head to kiss her shoulder. “Still think you’re awesome.”

After eating three slices of his half of the pizza, Ella managing one and a little bit, he rolled them a joint, stretching out on the sofa with his head in her lap. The feel of her nails combing over his scalp and through his hair was a comfort he’d sorely missed over the last seven weeks, reaching to stroke the side of her neck as he smiled up at her.

“It’s just me and you. No other patients, no orderlies or nurses watching us like fucking hawks. Just us.”

How they had both longed for it, the simplicity of being together without watchful eyes constantly on them. Still, Ella almost felt like Tony was about to bark an order at her as she slipped a hand beneath James’s t shirt, idly stroking the side of his abs while they chatted.

“I’m telling you, I lasted an hour when I went see her and my sister for the first time. She’s still coming out with all the same crap, that I’ve somehow brought my mental illness on myself. I just stood up, told her I’d had enough, and took Sam out for a drink instead so I could catch up with her without being fucking hen pecked to bloody death,” he explained of his first visit home after being released, glowering at the memory of his mother being, well, her usual difficult self.

“You know what it sounds like to me?”

“What?” he asked, handing her the joint.

She was thoughtful for a moment before waving her hand dismissively. “No, it’s probably not my place to say.”

He prompted her again. “It is. Spill.”

“I think she’s deflecting, like, going in really hard with saying it’s because of your music and lifestyle to absolve herself from her own part in your issues.”

Michael had said very similar. “Nah, you’re totally right, darlin’. It’s exactly what she does, it's like, if she makes enough noise about the other person, she thinks people won’t notice her, what she says and does.”

“And that’s up to her to acknowledge,” she sighed, passing the joint back, her hand retuning to his hair.

“Innit? I know she loves both me and my sister to bits, but I’m not excusing her any longer, or putting up with it. Me leaving the other night was what Michael advised in therapy. Set a boundary, then if she continues to cross it, calmly walk away. So that’s what I did. Anyway, I don’t wanna talk about the duchess. What you been up to since you got out?”

“Not much, really. Just spending time with mum and Jane, went back to my yoga class for the first time since I got really ill, had a tentative job hunt.”

“Any luck there?”

“Nope,” she asserted, widening her eyes a fraction. “Not unless I want to work in the same old utterly pants job roles I used to. Never going back to bar or supermarket work again.” It would be fair to coin the pair as intelligent underachievers, both only having three and four GCSE’s respectively, only James going on to do his A levels. Ella had taken the GNVQ route, choosing health and social care although she wasn’t sure she wanted to work in either.

He hadn’t sought anything further academically, taking on mainly factory and doorman work around the band until they’d taken off, his touring schedule making it impossible to hold down a full-time job.

“Yeah, babe. Don’t blame you. I’ve done bar work before. Total bullshit. Ruins your weekend too as that’s when you get the best shifts as far as tips go,” he agreed, taking another drag on the joint. “I can’t smoke much more of that. I’m proper fucking tired.”

She frowned concernedly. “Is that because you’re drinking on your meds?”

“Nah, Michael took me off the ones that made me wanna crash in the afternoon, and I only had three pints tonight. Can’t get drunk or it’ll stop the pills from working. Trust me, I’ll miss getting wankered, but I don’t miss that fucking mess my head was in before I got help.”

Smiling down at him, she kissed his forehead, taking the joint from him. “I’m proud of you. You’ve worked hard to get through what must have been a hugely heavy weight bearing down on you,” she began, trying to stifle a yawn and not manage it. “Bleedin’ hell, are there crushed up sleeping pills in this weed?”

“Fucking feels like it, innit?” he laughed. “I didn’t feel this mashed so quickly last night. What I bought off Gaz must be different strains. I’m irritated by that.”

“Why?”

“Because my brain is saying sleep, but everything south of my waist is like, ‘Nah, man. You’ve got a top grade girl here, the one you’ve been missing for weeks! Go shag her through the bed!”

She almost choked on the lungful of smoke, wheezing, softly slapping his shoulder as she spluttered. “I don’t mind not being shagged through the bed tonight, so don’t feel like, all conflicted and stuff.”

Internally, he breathed a sigh of relief. It could go either way with weed, depending on the type. Just enough and he could have sex for elongated periods before orgasm, too much and as soon as his body hit a bed, he was asleep. It was a balance he couldn’t bank on prior to smoking, but suffice to say the one joint of very strong weed he and Ella had shared most definitely took the wind out of his sails.

Sitting up, he grabbed a marker pen and shut the pizza box, writing ‘DO NOT EAT’ upon it. “Snedders’ll inhale it otherwise, the lardy cunt.” They made their way to his room, the space much bigger than she was expecting, pulling off her clothes all bar her knickers and top, unhooking her bra beneath it and pulling that off for comfort.

He made no mention of her leaving it on, remembering her insecurity there. It didn’t matter to him one bit; she could have laid next to him fully clothed and he wouldn’t have cared. Having her beside him was all he wanted. Climbing beneath the deep grey duvet, she happily sank into his arms, enjoying both the look and feel of that gorgeous chest against her bare for the first time. He looked more or less exactly how she pictured he would, and lord, it was a mouthwatering sight.

“Wow, you were right. This bed is like, the comfiest ever,” she spoke, leaning to kiss him beneath his jaw as they entwined, James resting his hand to her hip and stroking the slender curve. God, it felt so good to hold her and not feel bones jutting out.

“Told you,” he spoke, kissing her head. “Even comfier for having you in it, too.”

Her heart thrummed waves of pure happiness, falling into sweet kisses with him before he switched off the lamp and they fell asleep. He was out before her, Ella seeing it was entirely true when he’d told her he was like sleeping next to a corpse, except he ran hot. He didn’t move and he didn’t snore.

It made a peaceful change to the last man she’d shared a bed with, her ex-boyfriend Ryan over two years before. He’d sounded like malfunctioning power tools whilst he’d slept. She was asleep before she knew it, both of them soothed not only from the strong weed, but what they’d ached for over the past seven weeks. The simplicity of being able to hold each other close once again.

13 notes · View notes

yesimwriting · 2 years ago

Note

The reader seems to be really close to billy and stu , so it got me thinking , what if she had little rituals with them ... like kissing their noses or rubbing their backs , and what if she got possessive of them and in a game of 7 minutes in heaven ou something she just makes out with billy or stu ( bcs in order to be with dark murderous freaks you have to be a freak yourself ...i dont make the rules)

Like imagine billy : im mf special 😏

a/n omg?? i love this!! this concept is adorable :)) i got so excited i put off writing my lit essay lol, this became A LOT longer than I thought it would be lol

also do y’all like first or second person narration better?? i definitely like writing first person more in chapter fics, but in drabbles/one-shots i change my mind all the time. I did a little of both here lol

---

The pile of homework I've been working on seems like it'll never end. Like there will always be another packet that needs to be completed or another essay I need to write.

Something behind me shifts. The noise is soft and easy to dismiss, but my body turns instinctually anyways. After what happened to Casey, there's no such thing as being too sure.

With a sigh, my entire body eases as I realize what the source of the noise is. It's just Billy and Stu, magically appearing like they often do on my windowsill. Stu's already inside my room, sitting on the edge of my window, his feet firmly plated on the floor. Billy's leaning against it, his lower half still outside.

Normally, when they show up like this, I grin and urge them to come in faster. "What are you guys doing here?" The way Stu pauses and the look Billy gives me tells me that they weren't expecting that reaction. "I told you guys--not today. I have a ton of homework and like half my family is visiting. My cousins have no concept of boundaries because they're like seven and they barge in here all the time. They're also snitches, the last thing I need is them running to the kitchen and telling their mom that 'Y/n has boys in her room'."

Stu holds up his hands in defense as he stands. "Relax, we're just here for our goodnight kisses."

I turn, adjusting the notebook on my lap as I look at them skeptically.

"We'll leave right after if you want us to," Billy says, pulling himself up onto my windowsill.

Still unsure, I twist my pen between my fingers. "I will want you guys to." My tone is a little harsher than I want it to be. Stu seems a little tenser and Billy's expression clouds. "No, that came out wrong. It’s not that I want you gone, it’s that I’m trying to be practical.”

"You didn't want us coming over earlier," Stu mumbles, something harsh behind his eyes, "And we barely saw you yesterday."

"Yesterday wasn't my fault. You two went out with Tatum and Sid." I adjust my hold on my notebook. "And I didn't want you guys over earlier today because of homework. Literally all I've done today is go to lunch with my family and homework." Their unease settles in my stomach like a rock. I sigh, pushing my notebook off of my lap. "Okay, come here."

At that, Stu breaks out into a grin. He crosses my room in a few long steps. Once he reaches me, he sinks into my waiting arms. I hug him tightly before he can decide that all isn’t forgiven, burring my face into the side of his neck. He's so warm and always smells so much like him. Like expensive fabric softener, a little bit of body spray, and usually a tiny bit like weed. On anyone else the combination wouldn't work, but on Stu, it makes me feel right at home.

One of my hands runs up and down Stu's back. He eases into the contact. The shirt he's wearing is soft. There's little I love more than Stu's well worn, rich kid T-shirts. I'm already plotting how to steal it from him.

I lean my head upwards, pressing a kiss against his jaw. His eyes flutter shut as I leave a trail of kisses up his cheek and to his temple like I always do.

Billy must have come in while I was distracted. He's lingering next to us, watching with a blank expression. I learned early on that while Billy hates asking for physical contact, he loves receiving it. If I had to take a guess, Billy's hesitance likely comes from his home life, but I'd never say that out loud.

"Okay, Stu," I hum, my nails brushing through his hair, "You're good." His hold on me tightens. "Stu, c'mon." With a bit of a pout, he straightens just enough to place a kiss on my forehead. He's watching me carefully, silently asking me for a few more minutes. "Billy's turn."

Stu frowns, looking like he's sincerely weighing his options. "Fine," he mumbles, placing one last kiss against the side of my head.

Once Stu lets me go, he slumps back onto my bed, laying across my mattress on his back. That does make me a tiny bit nervous because the more comfortable Stu gets, the less likely he is to leave.

I reach over, grabbing Billy's wrist. Gently, I pull him towards me. He lets me. Like always, at first Billy's slow before reciprocating with full force. He melts into my touch, pressing his face into my neck. My fingers trace patterns against his back.

"Missed this," I whisper the admission.

"We missed you, too," Stu replies, hand lazily reaching over for my extended leg. His fingers begin to trace patterns against the skin of my calf. I'd think that the motion was absentminded, but once when I asked him about it, he told me that sometimes he writes out things he wants to do to me. "Soon it'll just be the three of us."

This isn't a conversation that I love. The more they talk about the day where they feel like Sidney and the friend group are stable enough to handle two break ups, the less I believe that that day will ever come. Thinking about it makes me feel like a terrible person.

Billy, sensing that he no longer has my full attention, shifts. He moves impossibly closer, his lips grazing my pulse. I used to jokingly scold him for kissing my neck during times like this before learning that things like that aren't always sexual to him. It's just him at his most relaxed.

My fingers rake through his hair, smoothing it back carefully before placing a series of kisses across his jaw and up his cheek. My trail ends at his temple, like always. The realization that the moment's passing leads to him squeezing me tighter. There's something distinct about his touch today, maybe even a little nervous. That paired with how uncharacteristically quiet he's being leaves me wondering if this ambush visit is a result of something else.

I know he was supposed to do something with his dad this morning. Okay, I need to stop thinking about that before it starts showing on my face. He doesn't like when I worry, he's never said anything, but his hot-to-cold reactions make me think he misinterprets it as pity. If anything, what I feel is anger that I can't walk up to his dad and punch him the face.

"Okay," I hum, "You both got your goodnight kisses...and I have to finish this essay."

"It's Friday," Stu replies, his fingers moving against my skin in what kind of feels like the curve of a 'c'? I'd ask if I wasn't worried about the conversation and mood taking a turn towards something I can't control. "You have two whole days."

I exhale, nails gently scratching at Billy's scalp. "You're throwing a party on Saturday, and Sunday's our first fully free day in over a week. You two aren't going to let me get anything done."

Stu turns his hand, running his knuckles up my leg. "Not true, babe. I've got a whole to-do list for you."

Softly kicking my leg in protest of his joke, I roll my eyes. "It's better for everyone if I just get this stuff done now, especially since you can't sleep over anyways. My little cousins are never in bed when they're supposed to be."

"You can do your homework, Billy and I know how to behave." When I raise an eyebrow at that, Stu concedes, "Okay, we at least know how to entertain ourselves."

Yeah, that's not comforting.

"You guys aren't being fair. I don't remember acting like this when you guys literally went on dates yesterday." I drop my arms away from Billy, ignoring the pinch of guilt that strikes with no warning.

At the lack of contact, Billy sits up. I avoid his gaze. "Is that why you're kicking us out? You're jealous? Upset we're not giving you enough attention?"

"No, I'm kicking you out because there's a group of seven to nine year olds that are super nosy in my house. Especially when it comes to boys. Kennedy's in the third grade and in her crush phase and she's asked me about whether or not I have a boyfriend 50 times."

"Your mom lets us sleep over all the time," Stu defends, "We just need to tell her that our parents did something and she won't care."

My posture straightens in an attempt to seem more determined. "That's different and you know it. She always has you guys crash on the couch and you sneak up later. We can't do that with all my relatives in the house, and you can't show up to my house so late."

Stu doesn't normally see--or at least, doesn't care about--reason, but Billy tends to listen a little more. I look over at him, gauging his expression. I still can't read him as well as he can read me, but I know that the blanker his face is, the more emotion he's feeling.

They're both starting to seem a little weird, maybe a little hurt, and I hate it. I do miss them, I want them here, but it's risky for me. At the end of the day, if my relatives find out, they get to go home. I'm the one that will be in trouble until I graduate.

"Do you really want us to go?" Billy's voice is as flat and void as his expression.

The hollow look he's giving me hurts. "You know I don't." That eerie blankness doesn't go away. "When I lock the door, they just keep knocking until I open it. I guess that gives us time for you two to get into my closet or something."

With that, Billy eases. He's not exactly as relaxed as he was before, but it's a start. I lean forward, grabbing his hand. Stu sits up, shooting up to pull me into another hug. His grin feels smug, but I can't bring myself to call him out on it.

"That's our girl," Stu praises, kissing my cheek.

I press my lips together, fighting a grin. "Wait--there's a condition. You two need to let me finish this essay."

Billy lifts our intertwined fingers to his lips. "Deal."

"You guys are unbelievable." They both look at me expectantly. "Can't believe I'm basically risking my life because I can't go one night without having you two sleepover."

----

Going out with my friends has become extremely bittersweet. I love when the entire friend group's together, but there's just something about seeing Billy and Stu and knowing that things are different. Knowing that they're right there and thousands of miles away at the same time. It's not that we don't talk in public, it's that it's inherently different. And it makes me feel awful.

Each smile I share with Tate and each time I laugh with Sid adds another layer of guilt. It's so bad that both Billy and Stu have had to talk me down from breaking it off with them twice now after large group hang outs.

Whenever I freak out, Billy tells me that this is for the best, that after everything Sidney's gone through, he can't just break up with her while she's still dealing with trauma. The one stable, good thing in her life right now is our friend group. Stu and Tatum breaking up would endanger that as well. Even though keeping these secrets is morally wrong, they're always promising that this is the best way to keep everyone happy. Sid gets the support she needs, Tatum doesn't have to feel weird in the friend group, and we don't have to be heartbroken because of our right person, wrong time situation.

I'm not sure when they started taking a more preventative approach to the whole thing, but now, whenever we have group plans, they make a point of spending some time with me before. Just as a reminder about how they actually feel, I think.

They still haven’t stopped by, which I’m trying to not stress about as I tear my closet apart. Stu’s parties are always crowded and low lit, so what I wear isn’t the biggest deal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care.

After Billy and Stu left early this morning my entire family headed out so that my extended family could be dropped off at the airport. So now I have the house to myself, which is a good thing for when one gets ready.

I play my music as loud as I want while I take an extra long shower and take my time putting on a face mask. I’m being a little extra about my getting ready routine, but I’m taking advantage of the space and the free time.

Shrugging off my towel, I pull one of Stu’s old shirts over my head. I’ve had this one for awhile but it still smells like him. I shut off my music and throw open my closet door open.

I grab yesterday’s jeans off from the back of my desk chair. I had half a mind to wear them again tonight, but they’re a little over due for a wash. My fingers dig through the pockets as I approach my hamper. There’s no change, but there is a tube of chap stick in the front pocket and a tiny slip of paper in the back.

Unfolding the scrap paper, I fold the jeans over my bent arm. Good luck on your math test - Billy. I grin, thumb and pointer finger pinching the torn piece of paper a little too tightly.

This isn’t the first time I’ve found one of these notes, but each time is equally exciting. It started relatively recently, the appearance of tiny notes in places I’d never expect to find them. In between the pages of books, slipped into my pencil bag, tucked into my folder next to homework assignments, and sometimes directly written into my notebooks. And now, apparently, tucked into the pocket of my jeans.

The notes range in levels of sweetness, some of them motivational when I’m stressed over something, and others a little more flirty. The one I found before this one was about how pretty he thought I looked while walking to class. They’re all well loved, kept in a shoe box under my bed for me to re-read whenever I need a bit of a pick me up.

I go back to my closet, looking through my clothes to find something that looks like I’m in the party mood. If I’m being honest, after such a draining week, I think I’d rather stay home and watch some movies instead of being at a party where Stu and Billy are both going to be with their girlfriends. Normally, that’s not enough to get me out of the party mood, but that paired with how busy I’ve been this week doesn’t have me thrilled for this. At least Randy will be there.

Sighing, I start sorting through my clothes, trying to get myself into a party mood. I’m sure once I have an outfit I like and I fix my appearance, I’ll feel better about this.

I’ve just laid out a few outfit options on my bed when I hear a few familiar taps against the frame of my window. Tamping down a grin, I look up, not even bothering to look surprised. Billy and Stu are already pulling themselves into my room.

“You know, I do have a front door,” I mumble, straightening the skirt I just laid out on my bed.

Stu dramatically sigh, stomping into my room before flopping face first onto my bed. “That’s the hello we get?”

I roll my eyes. “I was just saying.” Stu props his head up on his elbow, looking up at me with criminally soft eyes. I drop my gaze, reaching for the top that he’s now wrinkling. “And you’re messing up my outfits.”

He watches me as I hold out the shirt. “You’re wearing that?”

“I don’t know,” I mumble, ignoring his tone, “I have a few options, but I was thinking this with the dark green skirt.”

Stu rolls onto his back before reaching over for the skirt I’m talking about. He looks at it skeptically. “This skirt?”

“Yep.” Stu didn’t sound too thrilled. “Why? Do you think it doesn’t match? Because I was thinking about that.”

Billy pushes away from the wall he was leaning against. “It’s short, sweetheart.”

I look at him oddly. It’s not insanely short, I mean, I’ve worn shorter. “Not that short,” my eyes look over the fabric that Stu’s still holding, “My mom bought it for me. It’s fine.”

Stu drops his arm. “I’ve seen the way your mom dresses.”

“Are you slut shaming my mom right now?”

“No,” Stu begins lazily, “I’m just saying that that doesn’t mean the skirt’s not too short.”

I didn’t even want to wear this that badly before. “Too short? You guys aren’t my dad.”

“Well, considering what you call u--”

“Oh my god,” I cringe, throwing my shirt in Stu’s direction. The fabric lands against his face. Stu ignores me, pulling it off of him. “What’s the big deal? It’s just a skirt.”

“A skirt that’s going to have people looking at you.” Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I stare at anything but Billy as he approaches me. His hand clasps around my forearm, pulling me a tiny bit forward. “Looking at what’s ours.”

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that the possessive undertones of the words didn’t make my face feel warm. The hypocrisy, though, almost immediately dismisses that. “So I have to be all okay with you two literally having girlfriends, but the line is drawn at me wearing a skirt you guys think is too short?” He squeezes my arm. “Maybe I want a little attention, it’s not like you guys can give me any tonight.”

Billy’s hold on me goes from casual to nearly painful. His knuckles turn white against my skin and I’m sure that if this goes on for any longer, there are going to be finger shaped bruises there. I meet Billy’s gaze. His eyes have darkened significantly.

“So that’s what the skirt’s about? You’re throwing a tantrum because you’re not getting enough attention?”

This is going downhill fast. I’m going to need to backtrack the hell out of this conversation. “No, I-I was just making a point. It’s a little bit of a double standard, you have to at least be able to admit that.” The lack of emotion in his expression turns my stomach. I force myself to hold his gaze. “It just sucks sometimes, going to these things and seeing you guys with your girlfriends, and then I feel bad about feeling like that because they’re my friends.”

“They’re not our girlfriends, they’re a situation,” Billy’s voice is harsher than it’s ever been while directed at me, “You’re our girlfriend.”

My eyes widen. Despite how close we’ve gotten, the actual ‘g’ and ‘b’ words have not been used. I know I’ve been tripping over myself to avoid calling either of them my boyfriend by accident. His hold hasn’t loosened, but I can’t help my grin. My head tilts to the side, eyes softening as I place a hand over his. “Girlfriend?”

Stu walks up to us. I don’t realize that he’s moving until I feel a hand on my shoulder. “Of course you are, you’re our girl.” He extends an arm, somewhat playfully pushing against Billy’s forearm. “Old Billy boy here wasn’t supposed to just say it like that. We’ve been planning it out, we were gonna ask.” Stu doesn’t release Billy’s arm, “It’s all Billy talks about, might wanna ease off on the love spells, he’s obsessed with you.” Stu squeezes my shoulder, running his thumb across the skin. “All day, it’s ‘you think Y/n’s okay?, Y/n’s hair looked so soft today, we should go see Y/n.’”

Billy throws a look in Stu’s direction, his grip on me loosening. I smile, “Really?”

“Fuck off,” Billy mumbles, shoving Stu. “He’s the one that’s whipped. Sometimes he misses the smell of your perfume.”

I grin despite their odd tension. It doesn’t take much for play fights to turn into something else, something I don’t understand because half of it is unspoken between them. But I love this.

“Okay,” I hum, probably a little too chipper as I step between them, “This is officially my favorite argument the two of you have had.”

They’re both starting to move over to a different world that’s just theirs. I step forward, pulling Billy into a hug. After a second, he reciprocates. I shift, moving to press a kiss to his cheek. “I think about you a lot, y’know.” He’s looking at me calmly, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d think there might be the faintest tinge of color in his face.

“A lot,” he echoes, tone amused.

I grin, nodding once, “Yes, don’t make it a thing.” The way the corner of his mouth turns upwards tells me that he’d be happy to have me spend the rest of tonight unpacking what I mean by that. I tilt my head, looking at Stu, “And you.” Stu’s eyes widen slightly as he waits for me to continue, “Sometimes I miss the way you smell, too.”

Stu’s eyes narrow jokingly, eyes soft, “Really?”

“Why do you think I’m always wearing your shirts?”

He smiles, pulling Billy and I into a hug that thoroughly squishes me between them. Sometimes I wish everything could be as easy as it is in our little bubble.

“Okay,” I begin pointedly, playing up my annoyance, “Watch the hair, I’m still getting ready.” Before they can make anything of that comment, I continue, “Even though I’m my own person and I hate that thing where guys are all like ‘there’s no way you’re wearing that’, I guess there’s nothing wrong with taking into consideration how my boyfriends feel.” Saying that makes me so happy I can’t even bother to hide my grin. “How about a compromise--the jean skirt I wore last week and the top I threw at Stu earlier.”

With a dramatic sigh, Stu drops his forehead onto my shoulder. “You’re going to make tonight impossible.”

He’s exaggerating a little, which is fitting considering sometimes it feels like all it takes to get Stu going is a look that lasts a little too long paired with the tiniest bit of exposed skin. “Sounds like a you problem.”

Stu looks up at me, half glaring at me through hooded eyes. He lethargically smacks the top of my thigh, right where his t-shirt ends. It’s a testament to his easygoing mood, but I can’t help my dramatic gasp.

“What?” Sometimes I think Stu would be insufferable if his smile wasn’t so cute. “If you’re going to be mean, I’m going to be mean back.”

Okay, there’s a chance I am being a tiny bit mean. Did I pick the skirt that had Stu making up a super lame excuse during lunch just so he could get me into a supply closet for a makeout session I had to cut short? Maybe. Was it on purpose? ...I’d like to say no, but honestly, maybe.

“Alright,” Billy interjects, “I know that look in both of your eyes, and we don’t have time for that.”

He’s not wrong. I reluctantly pull away from both of them and go back to getting ready. We’ve fallen into a little bit of a routine. I go through my getting ready to go out routine, and they casually--or not so casually--look around my room. If that isn’t entertaining enough, they patiently follow me around.

It’s kinda cute. Especially if I decide to wear makeup and they ask about whatever it is I’m putting on my face. One of these days I’m going to have to let Stu put eyeliner on me.

By the time I’m almost done, Billy and Stu are still content with looking around my room. I have no idea what they find so interesting about my space, it’s not like it changes often enough to warrant their curiosity. But if it makes them happy to look through my bedside drawer and leaf through whatever notebook or book are left out on my desk, why stop them?

Now that I’m dressed and have given my appearance a once over in the mirror, I’m basically ready. All that I need to do is figure out how to get the clasp of this necklace to just...

“You okay?”

Billy’s sudden appearance at my side nearly makes the chain slip from my fingers. His steps are so quiet sometimes. Honestly, a little more practice and he could play a killer in a movie he’d love. “Yeah, there’s just something about putting necklaces on yourself that’s impossible.”

“Here,” he breathes, fingers barely grazing my neck as he takes the clasp from me. Billy turns the necklace as he steps behind me. He latches the clasp with surprisingly minimal effort. Instead of releasing me, he adjusts the necklace so that the charm sits perfectly centered. Billy leans towards me, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

Stu, who was previously looking at a framed picture of me at some birthday party when I was little, turns his attention towards us. “Aw, how domestic, you’re like an old, married couple.”

I turn just in time to catch Billy’s meant-to-be dismissive eye roll, but there’s the faintest touch of something else, something that might be a little flustered. It’s gone before I can be sure.

“We’re cute,” I agree, reaching for Billy’s hand to squeeze it once. “Okay, I’m ready, so you guys should go. I’ll show up in about half an hour, give people some time to get there so that nothing looks weird.”

Stu frowns, setting the picture frame back in place. “It’s not that suspicious, we’re friends, you’re punctual.”

I press my lips together. We have our rules in place for a reason, and talking about them too much makes me feel things I really don’t like feeling. “You know why I can’t.”

Billy must notice my shifting mood because he cups my face. “You’re forgetting something before kicking us out.” When I don’t respond right away, Billy kisses my cheek. “In case you needed a reminder.”

Of course. If there’s one thing Billy’s consistent about it’s our little traditions. At first, they were just excuses to be cheesy, especially when I was feeling a little insecure, but now, they’re more significant.

I tilt my head upwards, leaving a trail of kisses up his cheek. Stretching upwards, I then place a kiss on the tip of his nose. He then kisses my forehead. Our goodbye ritual.

“Hey, I’m leaving too.” The fact that I’m surprised that Stu is already within grabbing distance makes me a little too aware of how tired I am.

Pushing against the feeling that begs me to just stay here tonight, I beam at him. He lets me hug him. His hands find their way around my waist and I press kisses against his cheek until I’ve reached his nose. Stu tilts his head down to help me reach him. My body eases as he presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Okay, you guys should go.” Shifting awkwardly and dropping my arms to my side, I tact on a half thought in hopes of making this easier on all of us, “Maybe some time alone will do me some good, help me get into the party mood.”

There’s a brief silence, and then Stu steps back, “See you later.”

“Yeah,” I say, a little flatly.

Billy’s eyes are trained on Stu, who just barely glances back. To anyone else, it’d come off as casual eye contact. A small feeling that’s little more than an itch at the back of my mind tells me that its the beginning of one of their exchanges. Or maybe I’m just on edge.

They approach the window, leaving like they always do.

----

Narrator’s POV

You never thought you’d want to kill Randy as badly as you do right now. One minute, the two of you are casually drinking, and he’s listening to a tipsy you summarize the plot of the latest show you’re invested in, and the next he’s trying to usher everyone into a game of 7 minutes in heaven.

You swore you weren’t playing, even when Randy started complaining. No one will go for it unless they think they have a chance with someone as hot as you. Your no stood firm, even when other people started sitting in front of Stu’s guest bathroom.

All you wanted to do was be an observer. To sit next to Randy and to ignore the weird looks Billy and Stu took turns sending you from across the room as you finished off your beer. Instead, you had to watch Stu’s spin land on Tatum, and you had to watch him walk with her to the bathroom with enthusiasm. Those 7 minutes had you getting up to grab another drink that you nearly downed before getting back to your seat.

That was what really set the night off. You had been pacing your drinks before then, wanting to keep the balance between being buzzed enough to be social and drinking enough to become messy. Stu stepping out of the closet with a grin and an arm around an uncharacteristically bashful Tatum pushed you right to that line. Billy ending up in the bathroom with Sidney next is what pushed you over it.

It’s ridiculous, no one can fully control where their spin lands, but it was all too coincidental. Too perfect.

And that’s how you ended up here. In a closet with Jonathan White from your second period. The same Jonathan White that’s always staring at your chest. You’re about two minutes into the most awkward small talk of your life while pretending to not notice his leering and clumsy, half thought out advances when the door opens.

There’s no way that 7 minutes are already up, but you’re too relieved to question it. The calm feeling settling in your chest quickly disappears when you look towards the doorway. Stu’s leaning against the wooden frame, eyes cooly locked on you.

“Dude.” Jonathan’s complaints die down at the back of his throat when Stu turns to look at him. You can’t fully see his expression, but despite how buzzed you are, you don’t miss his unexpected edge.

“It’s my house, dude.” Stu’s reaction isn’t harsh in the way you expect it to be. It’s the calmness of his voice that cuts straight through you. “I can do whatever I want in my house, and you’re not going to stop me.”

You’re not convinced Stu’s talking about his house. “Stu.” You have to bite your tongue to avoid blurting out that nothing was going on. Why should you clear the air? You and Jonathan were far apart, which is more than you can say about him and Tatum. “You’re drunk.”

Stu ignores the touch of warning in your voice. He doesn’t even let himself look in your direction. It’s the only thing he can think to do to associate his anger with someone that isn’t you.

“Whatever,” you breathe, deciding that the best thing you can do to diffuse the tension is to remove yourself from the situation, “I’m getting another drink.”

You skirt past them, practically holding your breath until you’re fully out of the bathroom. No one’s sitting in that lopsided circle anymore. Whatever happened in those few minutes you were in the closet must have killed the mood just enough to end the game. Oh, well, you can’t say you’re too torn up about it.

The alcohol isn’t settling in your stomach as comfortably as you’d like, but you meant what you said. You’re getting another drink. Maybe that will make you feel less like you’re balancing on the edge of a knife.

You walk into the kitchen, frowning when you realize that the big cooler’s empty. It’s probably a sign from the universe to quit while you’re ahead, but you choose to ignore it. Instead of going back to the party and finding either Randy or one of the few familiar faces from some of your classes, you decide to go to Stu’s garage. You know for a fact he keeps extra beer in there.

You step into the space, shutting the door behind you. The separation from the party is refreshing. A part of you regrets coming. Parties suck when you’re not in the specific mood for them. Why are you even here? To sit outside and listen to music that’s too loud while Billy and Stu hook up with their actual girlfriends while you down beer? You don’t even like beer that much.

An idea latches itself onto your mind. You could leave. You could go home, change into pajamas, and pass out in bed. Sure, Billy and Stu wouldn’t be happy with it, especially considering the looks they gave you during spin the bottle, but you’re not happy with them. And why should you stick around in a setting you’re not in the mood for when they’ve been actively ignoring you since you got here? Obviously, they can’t get away with being all lovey dovey, but they could treat you like a friend. Or at the very least, not keep Sidney and Tatum away from you like you’re the plague.

Besides, all you’re going to do is go home and go to bed. If that makes them mad, then that’s their issue. Especially since they want to act all cute when they’re in your room, claim that you’re their actual girlfriend, and then treat you like you’re repulsive in public.

You’re interrupted from your fantasies of just walking out the front door by the sound of the garage door creaking open. You snap your gaze towards it and fight the urge to roll your eyes when you see that it’s Stu. You’re annoyed and tipsy, but still sober enough to know that the last thing you want to do is add any additional fuel to the fire.

He walks towards the refrigerator without looking at you. The silence is starting to get to you as Stu opens the fridge. After a second of him looking around in there, Stu turns towards you. He’s holding your favorite drink. Wordlessly, he twists the cap off before extending an arm.

You blink once, slowly moving your hand to accept his offer. “I didn’t see these.”

Stu casually shrugs, shutting the fridge behind him. “Got them for you, Billy hid them in the back so no one else would grab them. Guess he forgot to tell you.

The ‘forgot’ nearly makes you scoff. They both purposefully ignored you when you first got here and waved at them, and they’ve only looked at you to make you uncomfortable since. But you can’t say that right now. You’re tired and probably more drunk than him. Starting a fight isn’t something you can afford right now.

“Oh,” you mumble, “Thanks.” You bring the drink to your lips, taking a slow sip. “Think I’m gonna go after this.”

“Go?” Something flickers behinds Stu’s expression. “I thought you were staying over.”

A sarcastic comment rises up your throat. After the way they’ve been acting, there’s no way he can think that your ideal ending of tonight is crawling into bed with them. Any bite in you dies down the second you meet his gaze. There’s no way to describe it. Unfeeling.

“I uh-” You tilt your head, playing into your inebriated state. You shift back, which is all the excuse Stu needs to take two steps forward, practically caging you between him and a wall. “I had a little too much to drink and I’m not feeling great. I don’t think I’ll be a lot of fun, I just need to pass out in a dark room before everything starts spinning.”

He doesn’t look convinced or angry or anything. There’s something eerie about the cold indifference he’s radiating. “You wouldn’t lie to me, right, sweetheart?”

You let your eyes drop to the glass bottle in your hand. You take a quick sip. “Was gonna ask you the same thing.” The mumble escapes you before you can think through your slurred words.

Stu takes a step forward. You squeeze the bottle between your fingers a little tighter to avoid shrinking back. “What was that?”

You look up just in time to see Stu tilt his head in order to regard you a little more cautiously. The last time you had a sub in your science class, they played a video about the structure of a predator’s mind and how they prepare to catch their prey. The way Stu’s eyes darken sends you straight back to that classroom.

You can’t tell if the heat that rushes to your face is a tang of fear or something else. Or maybe it’s an uneasy combination of both.

The door squeaks open again. Your head snaps in that direction, but Stu doesn’t look away. He doesn’t even bother putting a less conspicuous amount of space between you.

“You two okay back here?” You let out a breath. It’s just Billy.

“All good,” you manage just as Stu says, “She wants to go.”

You keep your eyes focused on Billy, not wanting to think about Stu that way again. “I’m not feeling great and I’m tired.” The defense is weak, made even more pathetic by the slight pout of your lips. “Plus it’s not like you guys would notice anyway.”

“What?” Billy’s question is oddly gentle.

The whiplash that gives you is nearly enough to make you drop the glass in your hand. You shut your eyes for a second, resting your head against the wall. Everything’s starting to feel a little too fuzzy. “You know what I’m talking about. At my house, it’s all talk about liking me, calling me your girlfriend, and then I get here and you don’t even want to be friends with me.” The blow up doesn’t make you feel better. The room is full on spinning now, you lean completely against the wall so that it can support your weight. Ugh, you know you won’t be able to handle their reaction. “’M tired, and I-I’m feeling weird. I think I should go to bed.”

The quiet that follows has you fighting to not push past both of them in order to get to a bathroom. It’s shattered by Stu’s humorless laugh. His breath is hot against your jaw and it’s too much. “Aw,” he hums, his tone so sweet it circles right back to bitter, “She’s jealous, isn’t that cute?”

You squint your eyes open. “Shut up.”

“Why?” Billy asks, stepping further into the room, “He’s right. You think I didn’t see the way you were looking at me and Sid when we came out of the bathroom?”

You sigh indignantly. “I’m too tired for this.”

“But you weren’t too tired to be all over Randy or Jonathan White?”

Your glare turns into something meek once you see the way Stu’s looking at you. “I wasn’t all over Randy, he was just the only person that was talking to me tonight because of you two. Neither of you even said hi to me and every time I tried talking to Sidney and Tatum, you’d come by and take them away.” The thought of Jonathan makes you sick all over again. “And I was nowhere near Jonathan White, and I’d never be willingly. He’s a total perv, and he made Shannon Walton cry before class the other day. And Shannon Walton’s the nicest, she always has gum and gives everyone her notes if they’re absent.”

Stu doesn’t ease. “Don’t change the subject, you didn’t need to play.”

“You didn’t either,” you counter, “And I-I wasn’t even playing at first. I was just gonna sit in the room so I could keep talking to Randy, and then you two--”

“So you only played because you were jealous.” Billy’s voice has taken on an edge that you don’t like. He continues, walking towards you with even, practically bored steps. “That’s not very nice of you.”

They haven’t been very nice either, you think bitterly. “You started it.”

The childish defense leaves the corner of Billy’s mouth turning upwards. “I’m not all over you for for 5 minutes and you get like this.”

The dismissal makes your face feel warm. “Maybe we should give her a break.” The mocking in Stu’s tone strikes a nerve. “She’s just jealous.” You draw your eyebrows together, and Stu grins meanly. “You’re lucky green’s a pretty color on you, babe.”

Chagrin fuels your reaction as you burst out a too confident, “’M not jealous.”

Stu’s laugh is harsh, “You’re not?”

Pushing down your instincts, you tilt your chin up a fraction of an inch in order to hold your ground. “Can’t be jealous because I know you two are mine.”

At that, they both seem to still. You hold Stu’s stare until you no longer feel like you’re the one that’s trapped. The confidence is likely in your head and a byproduct of all you’ve had to drink, but it gives you the assurance you need to straighten your spine. Stu angles his head to the side and you’re not sure if it’s a good sign or not. To not panic, you extend your arms, resting them around his neck. The nails of the hand that isn’t holding the bottle trail down his neck.

You can’t back out now. The way he’s looking at you changes. You can’t interpret his expression, which only puts you on edge more. He wants to be quiet, to dismiss you in one final, petty jab, but the more your nails dig into sensitive skin, the more he struggles. The nail thing’s a habit you developed after realizing how much it affects him.

“Watch the nails, sweetheart.” It’s meant to seem like a warning, but it slips out of him a little too low. He’s overcompensating to cover for what was almost a whine.

You blink up at him through your eyelashes with maliciously soft eyes. “Starting to hurt?” He’s quiet, you scratch at his skin, hard enough to leave the kind of red marks that disappear almost as soon as they appear.

“This attitude’s cute, but don’t push it.”

Everything from tonight hits you all at once as you tilt your head innocently. “Or what?”

Billy knew that you were treading on ice so thin that even Stu couldn’t see the cracks since before you got here. That one comment you made before they left your place had been harder to deal with than Billy would ever admit. Stu pretended that he was fine with it, that he didn’t feel the strain of panic that comes from feeling like they need you more than you need them. And then you showed up here, as pretty as ever, and basically fine when they started ignoring you. And now this.

It’s a slippery slope. The line between the amount of attitude that gets Stu going and the amount of attitude that pushes him towards something he can’t control is thin.

Billy steals the bottle from your hand and leans forward, grabbing your jaw with his free hand and pulling you into a kiss. It’s so sudden it takes you a second to relax into it. Once you finally do, a small sound escapes you. Billy deepens the kiss with no warning. You clumsily follow his lead despite how much they’ve annoyed you tonight.

He pulls away quickly once he’s sure that the energy in the room has been redirected, resting his forehead against yours. You don’t get the chance to recover. You’re still panting when Stu’s hand finds its way into the roots of your hair. He yanks on it, forcing you towards him.

Stu’s kiss is hard and disorientating. You know that he has a way of being all consuming when he wants to be, but this is something else. You can’t take a full breath, but Stu doesn’t care. He doesn’t let you go until he’s done, and even then he takes his time releasing you, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth.

You’re dizzy and somehow even drunker than before. You reach for Stu unsteadily. He looks you over slowly. “You get her in bed and I’ll figure out how to start kicking people out.”

Billy places an arm around your waist. His lack of protest surprises you slightly, but you’re not complaining about it. You need his help, and Billy knows it. That, paired with the fact that this is the only time he has an excuse to publicly hold onto you, makes him love when nights end like this.

He always has an excuse ready in case Sid or someone else notices. Y/n can’t handle her alcohol and she’d kill all of us if we let her go home like this. She’s gonna sleep it off in Stu’s room for a little. It’s basically true, and it also gives Billy the excuse to linger around you. There are a lot of people that’d take advantage of your situation. Sid can’t be mad at that, if anything, she’d be mad at him for knowing how vulnerable you were and not doing anything.

Billy leads you into Stu’s room, abandoning your last drink on the first surface he finds. He sits you down on the edge of Stu’s bed before opening one of Stu’s drawers. “Here,” he tosses one of Stu’s T-shirts towards you, “You got it or you need help?”

Shutting the drawer, Billy turns back to you. You’re laying down now, not even under the sheets. “You can’t fall asleep like that.”

“Mhm,” you mumble, face half buried into your mattress.

With a sigh, Billy walks towards you. He grabs your arm, pulling on you until you’re finally sitting. With a bit of prompting, you stand. Billy watches you struggle for a second before sighing. He keeps you steady as you get out of your clothes and pulls Stu’s T-shirt over your head.

You’re too tired to care about the fact that you’re supposed to be mad at him. “Bed now?”

Billy cups your cheek, his thumb soothingly brushing against your skin. “Last time I let you pass out before washing your face, you made me promise to never let it happen again.”

----

You don’t know how long you’ve been asleep when an unexpected pressure stirs you awake. Ignoring the feeling, you try rolling over in order to pull the covers up to your neck. Something doesn’t let you.

“You’re up,” Stu whispers against your hair, “You’re up, you’re okay.”

Twisting so that you’re flat on your black, you squint your eyes open. It’s still dark, so you know it’s still night time. You don’t remember exactly how you got here, but you know that you were comfortable. You also only vaguely remember the weirdness and your anger from earlier. 7 minutes in heaven thanks to Randy, a bit of confrontation in the garage. It feels less important now.

Smiling, you slowly extend your until your knuckles are brushing against his cheek. “What time is it?”

“Late,” Stu answers.

“Then wh--”

“Need my goodnight kisses,” he breathes, pressing a few, quick kisses to your temple.

You smile, “Thought you were mad a--”

Stu’s fingers squeeze your hips. “Don’t want to talk about that.” If you were less drowsy, you might have jumped a little. “I just want to go to sleep.”

Nodding you reach for him a little steadier now. Stu relents, leaning into you as you start to kiss his cheek.

Billy’s hand finds your waist just as you start relaxing again. “What about me?”

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