#the way Blitz was like ‘is the sex not good enough? I can do better!’

[neatfrog]

just watched full moon :’)

[ottersandfandoms]

Full Analysis/breakdown of the asmodous crystal exchange because the episode broke me and this is how I cope. Warning: long

So the first shot we have is Stolas sitting on his bed in apprehension, then Blitz jumps up on the balcony. Blitz starts the night off like any other, bringing out his bag of sex toys and just speaking in an unworried manner. Yet we have the sad music playing in the background that lets us know this is temporary. It’s NOT a normal night. Stolas knows this too and he’s just quietly watching.

Stolas finally speaks and he stutters at the beginning. This is really happening. He disregards all the other things Blitz brought and instead just asks for the book.

This is when Blitz first starts noticing something is up. We see a quick shot of his smile dropping. He was all worried about Stolas getting bored of him earlier and wanting the book back and now he began to actually think those fears are being proven true. Even if he doesn’t admit it, Blitz has a big fear of not being wanted and just pushed aside, like he has been for most of his life. 

So when Stolas admits he needs the book back Blitz panics. His fears are true. He begins to hurriedly speak and makes excuses. This book is his livelihood and the reason for his jobs so it makes sense why he is scared of losing it. He leans in and tries to initiate sex. It works every time with Stolas so why wouldn’t it work now? Stolas begins to grow sad. He does want to have sex with Blitz. But he knows that would be unfair so he gets up.

Blitz is terrified. He desperately begs Stolas for the book. Blitz is being put in a vulnerable situation and he doesn’t like it. His whole life could be destroyed if he can’t keep his business afloat. He wouldn’t be able to support himself and couldn’t support Loona. He would “do anything” to keep it.

But then Stolas shows him the crystal. Stolas presents it to him in a happy tone. He tries to be happy and hopeful even though he is clearly still very worried. Maybe everything will be ok. Maybe Blitz will reciprocate Stolas’s feelings and everything will be great.

Blitz thinks Stolas is joking. He doesn’t understand why Stolas would do this. Now his job is safe but his relationship with Stolas is not. His deepest fears are being proven once more. 

He’s not good enough.

He goes into this state of wanting to please.

When Blitz was a child, his dad clearly saw Blitz as the weakling compared with Fizz. And no matter how much Blitz tried to prove himself, it was never enough. “I can do better” is almost juvenile in its phrasing. A desperate plea and promise that might diffuse the situation. Blitz reverts back to his childlike self where he was always last choice and flung aside like he didn’t matter. Imagine how many times he said that exact sentence to his father.

Stolas explains. Stolas actually does a good job of saying what he wants. He is clear and to the point, emphasizing asking what Blitz wants. During Stolas’s speech, Blitz glances back and forth at the crystal, trying to make sense of what’s happening  and then at Stolas. Because he does want to stay. He likes Stolas. If he didn’t care, he would've taken the crystal and left, but he didn’t and chose to stay. Stolas finally just finishes his speech by confessing his feelings. He says them in a frantic way; he is putting himself out there but there is hope there too. 

Blitz thinks he’s joking. Of course he would be. Why could Stolas actually seriously care for him? How could Stolas care for him? The only possible explanation has to be that Stolas is joking. So he puts on a roleplay because he thinks it’s what Stolas wants. He refuses to accept there may be something more.

Stolas takes this as a mocking rejection. His hope has been squashed. Stolas is so used to being mocked that he immediately takes Blitz’s ‘roleplay’ as Blitz making fun of him. Stolas has been mocked by the people, the other Goatia, Stella. Blitz is just another one to add to the list.

He accepts the supposed rejection and walks away. Blitz now realizes he wasn’t joking. He is legitimately surprised that Stolas would want anything true with him. Blitz has this worldview of nobody truly wanting him; finding him useful, sure, but actually wanting him…that would be impossible. Stolas’s confession is a stark blow to that worldview and it makes sense why Blitz needs time to accept this.

This is where Stolas makes his mistake, he doesn’t give Blitz time to think through this. He takes Blitz’s confusion as rejection, not stopping to consider that Blitz is just as scared as he is. His hope is now totally gone. Both Stolas and Blitz are eerily similar in their fears. They both just want to be wanted but where Stolas shrinks away in sadness, Blitz lashes out.

And that's exactly what Blitz does now. And he doesn’t stop.

He doesn’t want to deal with his own hurt feelings so he instead blames it all on Stolas, to hide the fact that he may be blaming it on himself. The thing is, most of what Blitz says is true. Stolas repetitively called him a plaything and ‘little imp’ so it makes sense why Blitz doesn’t fully believe him. Blitz has always been the inferior one in his relationships. With Fizz, With Verosika, with Stolas, with countless demons. This has caused him this inferiority complex that he can’t escape. 

Blitz has tears in his eyes and he is truly breaking down. He has spent so long trying to convince himself that Stolas doesn’t care and now suddenly he does? He still hasn’t actually accepted that Stolas cares for him. He can’t accept that and that makes it all more painful. It has to be some lie or game and he is begging Stolas to stop playing. To stop complicating things because that will force Blitz to think about how he feels.

"Let's go!"

Blitz fully expects Stolas to yell back. he is so used to being in arguments where the other person will lash back as well. And Blitz almost wants this. He believes he deserves it.

But Stolas doesn't...

Instead he takes Blitz sceaming the wrong way. You see this heartbreaking scene of Stolas starting to cry. Stolas has spent his whole life being told to be quieter, be more controlled, less emotional. Him crying in front of someone, rather than alone really emphasizes the hurt he is feeling. And then there is of course the most heartbreaking line: “I didn’t realize you think so low of me”.

Everyone thinks low of Stolas. He is the “pathetic” Goatia prince who is constantly scoffed at and bullied. Blitz was his escape from all of that, but now he believes Blitz thinks the same as everyone else.

But Blitz DOESN’T think low of Stolas. He thinks low of himself. 

Blitz realizes he fucked up. He went too far and hurt Stolas.

He realizes that Stolas misinterpreted what he said because Blitz was never really talking about Stolas, he was talking about his own feelings. We can see Blitz actually try to reach out to Stolas. He needs to let Stolas know that he doesn’t think that. You can hear him start to say “I’m sorry-” but as he’s saying that Stolas portals him away. 

Blitz “What the fuck” perfectly encapsulates his feelings. He doesn’t understand what happened but he knows that he messed up. Blitz needs to let Stolas know that he actually cares about him and apologize for what he said and Stolas needs to understand that Blitz needs some time.

Blitz never once said that he doesn’t care, only that he doesn’t believe Stolas can.  

[ripplestitchskein]

@angelshizuka I didn’t want to add on to your post and derail it so just doing a screen grab.

But this really bothers me. Like WHY did Blitz think this was a good idea? And how did he plan on keeping it once he had it? He’s not like unintelligent, the whole business is a good idea and they have no competitors we’ve seen other than CHERUB trying a reverse uno.

I pointed out in another post about this topic that Blitz is aware that there are other ways to get to Earth. He dated several succubi and incubi who have crystals. He was able to get one really easily to find Barbie. He could have gotten back with Verosika or any of the others if he was willing to have sex for it. It’s the same kinda arrangement and would involve a few groveling phone calls instead of a heist and fingers crossed you aren’t arrested or killed if you get caught. For Verosika her feelings probably stopped him there but there are other succubi and incubi and obviously he has the game to convince them.

Like if the plan was sneak in, get the book and he won’t know it’s me, fine. But he was already caught and Stolas already confirmed he knew who he was. That same plan would also work a lot better with lower risk at some succubus’s apartment than a royal party. And Asmodeus has hundreds of succubi and incubi and associated crystals versus one guy’s personal spell book. Risk analysis says. “Steal some random nobodies crystal from their probably unsecured house”. And even after Stolas clocks him he’s still like “I’ll just take it” and then thought just ghosting Stolas after would be enough??

I just feel like there has to be a reason, even if it’s like a subconscious one. Why Stolas? What reminded Blitz of a royal who has a book that can go to the human realm 25 years later when he had fairly recently ended a relationship with a succubus who can also do that? And Barbie was able to find a job to get to Earth so it seems like that was also an option. He could have doubled up, run drugs or human shit and also killed people at the same time and done it legitimately. Partnered up to ride along with a succubus even, “Hey, you go do your sex demon shit and I’ll be killing people, we’ll meet back here at 3”. He’s still the boss in that scenario even if he also works with someone else to do it, he’s doing that with Stolas anyway. The consequence of running afoul of Asmodeus if he finds out and is mad because of his partnership with Fizz is only slightly higher than it is stealing from an Ars Goetia.

I don’t know if it was to fuck with royals specifically? He thought Stolas would be an easy mark, but he doesn’t really know him now from what we’ve seen so that’s a weird assumption to make. He seems to think pretty negatively of royals why would he assume this one wouldn’t be the same if he was caught?

Did he follow Stolas before hand to get a vibe? How did he know about the party? Did he just pick a random day and there happened to be a party? What was the lead up? I guess it was in the paper, maybe he saw it there and was like “Now is my chance”. I can buy that from an impulsive desperation level but like I said, there were easier ways.

I hope they get into that but I dunno if they will, it’s not like crucial to the story so maybe better to not waste time in it, it really just adds to the basic framework established but I just have questions.

[timkontheunsure]

Part 1 Blitz & BPD coding

Ok quick bit first before getting into the nitty-gritty. So to have BPD you need to have 5 of these 9 traits:-

(putting as by proxy with him cus damage your image is harmful to your psyche).

Poor bugger looks to have 9 of 9

Alot of BPD patterns and strategies comes from childhood trauma, and Blitz has this in spades.

Scapegoat and attachment style

Cash is clearly a narcissistic Dad, see the kids as tools.

Cash uses Blitz's love and Strong attachment to his Mum to force Blitz to be useful to him, and do what he wants.

This sends the very strong message that love is conditional. That it is bought through what he can do for another. And that without being useful love and affection will be withdrawn, because he doesn't really deserve it.

We see wee tinny Blitzo struggles with making balloon animals, is a little clumsy, has a sense of humour that not a crowd pleaser. This puts him at the bottom of the pecking order.

This position is the scapegoat. Blamed for anything that goes wrong (fire), to keep the others in line (Fizz told done on purpose), given the most dangerous jobs (rob a Goetia), and given the lest love and affection.

Narcissist see people as tools or a burden. All love from Cash is conditional/transactional.

How Blitz gets love is to be used or to be useful. This the rule.

Affection freely given can't be trusted. It is a lie. This why any Stolas shows has to be either ignored, or change to a kink of "getting plowed by people you look down on". Making himself used.

But Stolas breaks this when he says Blitz "no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me, you are... you are free of me." He panics that he's being abandoned; "I can be better", "I'm I not fucking you good enough" are his immediate responses. Trying to get back to the safety of what he knows.

If they're no 'obligation' then there can't be affection and he wants to Stay with Stolas. And if there's no 'obligation' Stolas telling him he cares must be a lie.

He's slowly coming to see that this isn't always the case in apology tour; when his "earning" his way through sex is rebuffed again.

(It may not be Stolas' kink; but being fucked by an all powerful prince who degraded his a little might be Blitz's 🤭).

After the accident this rule gets a second fun extra playmate that anyone who loves him will be hurt. So Blitz must push them way, to keep them safe from him. These 2 rules give Blitz the disorganised fearful-avoidant attachment style. (Woo go him, give him a cookie. Or you know all the nope, but still give him a cookie).

Disorganised fearful-avoidant attachment comes with a push-pull of wanting to be close but close relationships are scary. (Like running away from Voroskia for loving him).

He is getting better by refusing to be dismissed by Stolas, and coming back the next morning. And even talking to him at the party.

But mostly this bit: "Oh, sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me, and I've let my self hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!" Blitz in a nutshell everybody.

His self hatred makes him to self sabotage any romantic relationship before it gets to deep. To protect the people he likes and makes sure they can't love him. Because he doesn't deserve it. Thems the rules after all.

Cash and the accident has taught Blitz to hate himself.  

It's also likely why Blitz thinks apologies are for pussys, and that no one deserves one anyway.  Those sound like words put in his mouth for daring to ask his dad to say sorry. 

He doesn't think he's worth it.

(Added the cuddles pic cus I like the cuddles). And Blitz still doesn't trust that he deserved to be forgiven by Fizz.

This self hatred is why he can't picture anyone loving him, let alone Stolas

"This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?" "Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even".

No one is allowed to want him.

End of part 1

I'll stick the link to the next part when I get done it, but might be a bit.

Next time some such fun shenanigans as:

Difficulty regulating emotions

Being a burden & how to be useful to IMP

Spitting

Massive fear of abandonment

Emotional loops

The Deal

Chronic feelings of emptiness

Self hatred & the Belief others Must hate him

(his cookie)

As normal is absolutely fine if you don't agree. This is just something I like to do.

[paleshroom]

Facts and Parallels in the Latest Helluva Shorts: Mission Antarctica *SPOILERS*

From this 4-minute animation, we learn the following:

- Work as usual is happening post-Apology Tour and Blitz is bad at portals. (This makes me so especially fucking giddy because it gives more canon-compliance to that speculative fic I wrote before Apology Tour came out).

- Loona is conspicuously absent, even from the office when they’re going in and out of the portal.

- More evidence of Blitz’s dyslexia, struggling with the order of the alphabet and so on. I love the added detail of Blitz dictating things to Moxxie for him to type out.

- More (?) evidence that Blitz is exceptionally terrible at math and likely has the wombo combo of both dyslexia AND dyscalculia. Yowza.

- [edit: After seeing some discussion, I don’t think he’s necessarily bad at oral overall, but there’s a lot he does with Stolas that he certainly did not do for Ver or anyone else, and again cunnilingus is VERY different from rimming.] Blitz has terrible head game, throwing back to when Verosika accused him of not reciprocating. Or, at least, he’s bad with cunnilingus. We can only assume his rim game is better, given the coughed up feathers (Harvest Moon Festival) and the implication of a request to “[face]plant that feathered ass” (Loo Loo Land).

- Blitz considers himself a top.*

- Moxxie has good head game thanks to Millie and being a good partner.

- Blitz still has the Moxxie and Millie minis from the “let’s three-way” scene right before Stolas calls him in Loo Loo Land.

- Millie echoes Asmodeus’s sentiment that lust is not about “brute force.”

- Blitz panics at the idea of treating the crystal “gently” like a lover. He doesn’t do gentle caresses. That’s gay, and the night before (or a few nights ago?) was gay enough.*

- Penguins have multiple xenophobic slurs.

Feel free to add on here!

*Headcanon below the cut.

*HC: this motherfucker is a service top but there have been hints (ie: the strapon in Full Moon) that he and Stolas have likely switched a few times. I think he glosses over this and doesn’t tell anyone about it because he’s told himself he’s fulfilling Stolas’s fantasy, but really this motherfucker wants to put his trust in someone too. If apologies are “for pussies and no one fucking deserves them anyway” but Stolas is the exception, what does that mean for being vulnerable gentle in sex? Actual intimacy? The kind where that person shares the same desire for connection that you do? It’s fucking TERRIFYING. It’s easy to shift glances, sneakily take a picture when the other person doesn’t know, look at it on your phone and dream a hopeless dream in private, reminding yourself that it’s only a dream, that you won’t have it, don’t deserve to have it, and will only end up hurting yourself and everyone around you if you even dare to chase that dream of loving and being loved by another.

I love him so much he’s such a fucking mess.

[worldofkuro]

So, you do headcanons imagines, stuff like that... Yeah? Can you do one of Alastor, Blitz & maybe Lucifer where someone they care for (S/O or daughter) who has borderline is having a emotional breakdown? Or a splitting episode? I have borderline & I'm not having a good day...

I’m sorry I answered it so late, my dear. I won’t lie, I don’t really do other characters than Alastor, because I think I handle his persona quite well ( I won’t sugarcoat him,dear. So his scenarios can be…rough.). I had to do more research on Lucifer and Blitzø. I hope it will still be good for you.

Alastor: 

Alastor would pity you. How weak of you to be controlled by your emotions, be stronger he doesn’t someone  weak.

He would watch you as you broke down, grinning while spinning his microphone. Your tears were a beautiful spectacle but he was getting tired of it, he needed you to do an errand for him and he was busy being annoyed by you, so you had to go.

He would tap your head, asking for your attention in a silent way. He always hated when you were more concerned about yourself than him. How narcissistic could you be!

When you looked at him, he would smile at you like usual, telling you were making a show of yourself. He couldn’t have that right? He was the star in this hotel !

He would easily calm you down… Well, it’s not calming you down. He would use words that would stun you so hard you would freeze. He would use your insecurities against you to make you feel even more bad than you were feeling but then he would say how amazing he is to keep you by his side even when you were in that state.

You wouldn’t want him to get bored of you, right? So you should cheer up, and give him a big smile! 

In your weakened mind, Alastor’s words sounded like comforting words while it was only condescending manipulation.

In the end, you would go do your errand as Alastor waved you goodbye with a mocking smile.

You were so easy.

“ And don’t forget dear, you are never fully dressed without a smile!”

Blitzø:

Shit, shit shit shit shit !

He would be so lost! He didn’t know how to handle those kinds of emotions, that’s why he ran away from them. He was hesitating between screaming at you to stop being a pussy and hug you.

But it was you… And seeing you in that state really..moved something in him.

He always despited himself, he always pushed away people’s care for him because he knew he would lose their love soon enough. He knew it, he was unlovable. He wasn’t deserving of people caring for him. That he knew.

But when he heard you say those words, the same he thought about himself… He despite it.

He would put you on his knees, his tail wrapping around your ankle and wait for you to calm down. He really was clueless, the only thing he wanted was for you to feel him even when you were lost in this storm of emotion.

Once you began to come back to your senses, he would ask you why you were feeling like that. That might sound stupid, but if you managed to talk about how you were feeling it would help him understand himself better.

He would hug you stronger as you kept stalking. He was just a useless imp… But you didn’t have the right to feel like this, you were better, you were… out of reach. And yet you broke down in his arms.

He would find a solution in sex, I won’t lie. It’s something, bad or good, he used to ground himself, so he might ask if you were in the mood. Maybe that way, you would be able to see how much he cared without him saying it.

“ We’re fine.”

Lucifer:

He would run toward you, maybe crashing against his pile of ducks. He would approach his hand toward your shoulder before taking them back. Did you want to be touched?

Between Alastor, Blitoø and Lucifer, he was the one more capable to understand what you were going through. Sometimes he would feel overweight by the hotness of Hell, wishing for nothing more than to feel the cold air of heaven between his wings.

He knew how feelings could be stronger than oneself, so he would kneeled at your side, and enveloping you in his wings.

He would have his back turned on you and his wings would cover you, making you feel safe, like you were cut from the world you were living in.

Lucifer would sing you a lullaby, a song that he used to sing to Charlie when she was a baby. He would stop when you form would have stopped shaking and you whimper quieted down.

He would turn his head toward you, waiting for you to speak first. If you decided to stay silent, not asking him to sing again, you would stay in a comfortable silence.

He would sometimes wiggle his wings if you touched his feather, wishing to hear your laughter. That’s the least he could do.

He would feel at fault for your conditions, were you like this because you were a sinner? Because he decided to give free will to humans, you had to suffer like this? Your episode would sometimes trigger his own mood drop.

That’s why, when you both were feeling down or you could feel an episode coming and you needed each other, Lucifer would wrap you in his wings, his back turned on you and you would stroke his father from your fingertips.

This was your way of saying, for the both of you.

“ I’m here.”

[thats-a-mood-gabriella]

Okay. I kinda want to walk through what I think is happening in each of their heads during the conversation. For my own sake, mainly, but who knows, maybe someone else will find it useful. Spoilers ahead, obviously. (Also fair warning that this is long and I expect nobody to actually read it; this is mostly for me.)

So let's establish first where they are when Blitz arrives.

Blitz hates himself. He's on the path to healing after making up with Fizz, but it is a very long road ahead. So if you can imagine it as a spectrum where "hates self" and "loves self" are on opposite ends, maybe he's not all the way at the hates self end anymore, but he's still pretty darn far over that way. So Blitz is arriving thinking he's unlovable, that he makes everyone's lives worse, and that Stolas is possibly getting bored of him. We also know from his half of the duet that he genuinely looks forward to these full moon nights and likes their arrangement. Makes sense. It provides him with the comfort of what he thinks is the closest he can get to an actual relationship where all he has to give is something he knows that he can and that he's good at (sex). He wants to keep the arrangement going. Yes, for a way to earth, but also for Stolas. This, in Blitz's mind, is the only way he gets to keep him.

Stolas is likely unmedicated for his depression, since this show doesn't show us things like him being out of his pills as just a throwaway joke; it's important. Anyone who has ever had depression knows that it just loves to remind you of the worst things about yourself, most of which aren't even true. It tells you that you're worthless and unlovable. We can see this in the way he's covered everyone but Octavia in the artworks in his home, mirroring Blitz scribbling himself out of photos. He's been in a dark place. But Stolas is also being so brave, ready to ask Blitz to love him anyway. To choose him of his own free will, the way it should've always been. His depression is making it hard, but he's going out on the limb anyway and hoping Blitz will catch him.

"I need it back...permanently."

Blitz starts panicking. He reacts like a puppy that's been told it's a bad dog. He starts promising that he can be good, he can do better. He can fuck Stolas like nobody else can.

Stolas rebuffs the advance and this is interesting to me-- Blitz slips into his dom persona a little, trying to regain control of the situation. He calls Stolas "bitch" and pushes his legs apart, lowers his voice to be seductive. And it alllllllmost works, just for a second, as Stolas blushes and starts to fall under the spell of it all. But then he gets himself back under control and reasserts this new boundary.

Blitz immediately drops the act and starts to beg with genuine distress, tears in his eyes even, and up until this point, I won't argue with you if you try to tell me that it's all about the grimoire. I disagree, but I'll let you get away with telling yourself that. Right up until this point.

Because this is when Stolas holds out the crystal and everything changes.

Their fucking leitmotif or whatever you call it, I don't know music terms, it starts playing, changing from the dramatic, ominous music before. Blitz starts inspecting the crystal like he doesn't believe it's real.

Let's be clear: he knows what an Asmodean crystal is and what it does. He's seen them before at least twice, both in 2x05. So it's not that he's in disbelief or confusion about what it does or that it exists. It's that Stolas is giving it to him that's taking him aback.

"You no longer need my grimoire." "Whaaaat?"

Because all Blitz is hearing is "you don't need me now. I can be rid of you without guilt."

"I don't understand. Why are you giving me this? Am I not fucking you good enough? Because I can always do better."

Let's take a second to pretend we're in a world where Blitz has zero feelings for Stolas. That this has always just been about getting to earth. In that world, Blitz never says this line. In that world, Blitz splits right here. He has the crystal in his hands. He knows what it does. He is officially 100% free at this point.

But we don't live in that universe and this line proves it. Blitz thinks he's being cast aside and instead of seeing it as his chance at freedom from Stolas, he's begging to be kept.

I can do better. Don't throw me away.

"I care...very deeply for you. And I have for some time."

This is the face Blitz makes after that. The entire time Stolas is talking, he keeps looking between Stolas and the crystal while making this face, like he literally can't process what is happening. Of all the things he expected to happen tonight, this wasn't even on the list. And remember: Blitz hates himself. Blitz genuinely believes he is unlovable.

Have you ever experienced something so surreal that it's almost like you left your body during it? Like your brain literally couldn't process that this was happening to you, so it's almost like you dissociate to the point that you feel like you're watching it happen to someone else? Because things like this don't happen! Not to you. These are things you see on TV or hear happening to other people. But to YOU? There's no way it's real.

"You don't have to stay here with me."

He looks ALARMED. Scared. The thought that he's about to lose Stolas genuinely startles him. He doesn't want what he thinks is happening. He doesn't want to be cast aside. If his choice is this or the chains, he'd rather the chains.

But. That's not the choice he's being presented. Because Stolas adds,

"But I want you to."

And Blitz's brain, his traumatized, mentally ill brain...just can not process that. No one wants to keep him. He's a commodity to be bought and sold and has been since his father sold him to Paimon as a child (which, by the way, I'm fairly convinced he thinks was Stolas's idea, not Paimon's). Maybe even before.

So his defense mechanisms kick in from this point on. Default to what's comfortable. It must be a sex thing! There's no way Stolas means this, so it's gotta be some weird roleplay. Well, he can do that! He can swoon and say he loves him (and if that hits a little too close to the truth, then fuck you, no it doesn't) and it's fine because this is fake. This can't be real, because things like this don't happen to someone as "worthless" as Blitz believes himself to be.

Blitz is trying to protect his own heart here, but what Stolas is hearing is rejection. Blitz playing it off as a joke must mean that Stolas is a joke for ever thinking Blitz could love him back. And why would he? Stolas doesn't see himself as lovable, either. One of his earliest memories is of Blitz "using" him to steal from the palace, never knowing that Blitz was only doing so on his father's orders, just as Blitz probably doesn't know that he was bought on Paimon's order, not Stolas's. He's a commodity, too.

Stolas's depression immediately puts him in a place where he can't see past his own pain and self-loathing. Blitz not immediately jumping into his arms must mean that all the worst things he thinks about himself are true. Blitz sees him as the monster he fears he is.

So he pulls himself together and starts to walk. And again, Blitz could leave here if he didn't care.

But the strangest thing happens. Blitz realizes that Stolas meant it. He even asks,

"Wait, you were being serious? Hold on, Stolas. What the fuck?"

He's trying to talk it out. He's trying to have the conversation. He's hurt and confused and in disbelief but he's not running from this. He's not letting Stolas walk away from him because he wants Stolas, and he's actively trying to keep him. They have to talk this through, and Blitz of all people is the one trying to pull Stolas back into the conversation.

"The fact that you couldn't believe that I could have these feelings about you, the fact that your first instinct is that it's always about sex, that's enough to know what this is."

See, what we have to remember is that Stolas doesn't have all the information we do. He hasn't seen the crossed out pictures, he didn't witness the flashback to the fire that killed Blitz's mom. Stolas hasn't watched Blitz cry himself to sleep or drink himself into a stupor after what he perceived as a public rejection at Ozzie's. Neither of them have all the information about each other that we, the audience do.

So when Stolas, who doesn't know that Blitz hates himself and thinks himself unlovable, hears that Blitz thinks there's no way that Stolas could love him, what Stolas hears is "you, Stolas, are an unlovable monster in my eyes."

It just confirms all the worst things Stolas thinks about himself. It's a literal, "it's not you, it's me," situation, but Stolas can't see that because he doesn't have all the information.

And here's what's even more interesting. Blitz doesn't think it's over like Stolas does. He's not rejecting Stolas.

"Fuck you, Stolas. You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you fucking kidding? Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich, asshole?"

This is Blitz saying that this is all very unexpected for him, but he's not saying no. He's saying "give me a minute, let me think. Don't take my first reaction in the way that you are. I was surprised. I was in disbelief. Give me a fucking minute to PROCESS."

But by this point, it's too late. Stolas's self-loathing has taken the driver's seat in his brain and all he can hear is that Blitz hates him, that he is unlovable, that he's a monster, that he's all the things he feared were true, and the person telling him that is the person he cared (second) most for in the entire world.

Blitz's defense mechanism is fight. Stolas's is flight. And so when Blitz unloads on him like that, Blitz is trying, in his own messed up way, to have the conversation. To work this out. To be honest for once and see if they can get somewhere now that the dam has been broken. While Stolas...his instinct is to flee. And since he's the one with the magic portals, guess what happens?

"I didn't realize you think so low of me."

You can tell by Blitz's reaction that he realizes they're not having the conversation he thinks they are. He realizes in that instant that Stolas isn't going to yell back with him. They're not going to scream at each other until they get it all out of their systems and reach a catharsis. He's hurt Stolas, maybe in a way that they can't come back from, and he immediately shifts his demeanor.

"Stolas, wait. I'm so--"

And then it's over. He's been kicked out of the palace. Thrown aside, just like he feared he would be.

And each of them are left feeling like the other thinks they're a monster, because neither of them realize that the only person who thinks they're a monster is themself.

I gotta go lie down, jfc.

[demon-country]

One thing I like about Stolas is that he learns, and then he takes action of his own accord. He's not stagnant. Sure, he can be a bit oblivious and lost in his own head, but once he's finally informed that there is a problem he always makes a real effort to reflect on it and then do something about it.

We see it as early as Loo Loo Land, where he misses all the cues that Octavia is upset, but once she actually tells him what's wrong he immediately reassures her. He then promptly leaves with her, asks her what she wants to do instead, and takes her there despite not understanding the appeal. His focus is on her the whole time from the moment he finds her crying. He even carries her like she's a small child again the entire way back to the van, and she lets him because physical comfort is something she needs and he knows it.

We see it again after Ozzie's, where Blitz is finally honest about his belief that Stolas wants him for nothing but sex. After a night of heavy drinking, he immediately starts to reflect on things and comes to the correct conclusion that their deal needs to end, because in hindsight Blitz didn't seem happy or like he was having a good time like Stolas previously assumed, and then he tries to find Blitz a way to stay in business without relying on him. He gets a little side tracked because of the divorce, but he never gives up on getting Blitz an Asmodean Crystal, even when it requires him to wait several hours in Asmodeus' waiting room fresh out of the hospital.

We also see it in Apology Tour, where he reflects in his song and starts to realize that his behavior early on wasn't taken as him being cute and playful like he intended, but pushy and overbearing. Despite how Blitz hurt and yelled at him both that morning and the night before, he acknowledges that it wasn't malicious and doesn't try to put the blame for things going wrong on Blitz, although he doesn't yet realize that it's not because Blitz doesn't care, it's because he cares too much and is scared of that.

Stolas is learning and changing, but it's a slow process. It comes in pieces. Which is generally how it goes in real life, too. People don't usually change overnight, it can take years and years to fully unlearn bad behaviors and do better, but fuck if he isn't trying.

He needs problems spelled out for him though. He's been extremely sheltered and socially isolated his whole life, and there are a lot of things pointing to him being autistic as well. He's going to miss or misinterpret things that are just implied, there's simply no getting around that. For example, he was never going to realize that there are problems with how he treats imps in general without prompting, because that's been normalized for him and he's high enough on the food chain that almost no one is going to correct his unconscious bigotry. That is, until Blitz, who is perhaps the only person of a lower class Stolas knows who's not intimated by him in the slightest (other than Striker, who was torturing him at the time, which is yet another trauma barrier that will make it hard for him to reconcile with his racism/classism), tells him in a fit of rage. 

I'm sure he'll reflect on Blitz's words and what they mean about how he acts when it's not less than 24 hours since he got his heart smashed to pieces. I don't know about you guys, but I know firsthand that the humiliation and betrayal he likely felt after having his feelings mocked not once, but twice (first on accident, but the next very much on purpose. Oh Blitz, the self-sabotage is so painful to see) take a little while to get over. Let him reflect on how his over-enthusiasm had him running roughshod over Blitz first for a bit, which he's already in the process of doing, then when things aren't so fresh he'll be in a better headspace to consider his overarching biases.

And from a narrative standpoint, the fact that it's taking a while for him to work through everything is a good thing. Expecting him to just Know Better is unrealistic and would cheapen his character arc. He's fighting to do better for the people he loves despite his trauma and implicit biases making that hard for him, and if he is autistic then there are just some things he will always struggle with, like reading social cues. But for any of his improvement to feel satisfying for the viewers then it has to move at a reasonable pace, and unfortunately that kind of change takes time. It's difficult, but he's actually doing a pretty good job so far. He's making a real effort to fix his behavior. But you gotta be patient, he's basically fumbling blindly through this alone.

Anyway, I just really love that, slowly but surely, he's learning. He's not being babied by the narrative or the creators, he's holding himself accountable and changing himself for the better. If you want realistic characters with nuance and depth then you have to let them actually act in the messy, imperfect ways real people do. This is true for Blitz and his character arc as well, but that's for a whole other post.

[chaifootsteps]

another thing that bugs me - when Stolas asks Blitz what he wants, Blitz says

'I want to feel like I'm earning my way to the living world' right before he says they should fuck

being dense is business as usual for Stolas, but how does he still not notice or care that Blitz has shown multiple signs of feeling like everything about their relationship is just him having to earn something?

first he cries and pleads and says he'll do anything not to lose the book

then he assumes Stolas is doing this because he isn't fucking him good enough and says (heartbreakingly) 'I can do better'

and then he says he still feels the need to earn his way to the living world, like he obviously doesn't trust the asmodean crystal was intended as a gift

the writers insist Blitz is just insecure but it comes off way more like Stolas has just thoroughly trained him into behaving like a servant who needs to keep him happy.

yet none of this bothers Stolas. his only answer every time is not 'tell me why you feel this way and I'll listen', it's just 'I demand you stop feeling this way because you're wrong and I'm hurt you didn't immediately jump to worshipping loving me when I demanded asked you to'. he's only bothered by Blitzo still acting like he's just a sex slave now he's decided he doesn't want one of those anymore, he wants the boyfriend experience where Blitzo gives him love and affection and presumably gets even less back in return than he did before (seriously, Stolas only cares for Via's emotional needs when she breaks down in tears, he's not a good boyfriend for anyone rn)

For maximum tragedy, go back and watch the Blitzo of Loo Loo Land that had no problem telling Stolas he needed to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass and only agreed to bodyguard duty when Stolas offered to pay him. Then, go back to Apology Tour and watch him grovel for Stolas to continue abusing him.

The series is only halfway over, but the bad guy's already won.

[cthulhuwritesstuff]

Let’s talk about escapism.

In case of these two peculiar lovable dummies, escape from reality they face on daily basis (not to mention that those realities are also what both of them believe they deserve) is being with each other.

Both realities are quite different (which is the issue number one), and at this point, I believe we all know what those realities are.

However, when brought down to crisp clear simplicity: they both suffer from tremendous amounts of guilt and are both in trauma-induced, nerve-wracking, depressing state of survival mode. They understand each other very well, because it takes one to know one, but neither of them is allowed to see that. It is more of an instinct that they do not question in fear of breaking their little kaleidoscope image of a fantasy where they just are.

Means of escape in this case is sex, where both of them get to let go of that baggage for a while and ignore the existence of it altogether.

This tactic, no matter how enticing and addictive, is still just a means to an end, and it has a low shelf-life expectancy.

They are both aware, partially or subconsciously, of this engagement and are both unwilling to to let go of it because “You are the only thing that makes me feel alive and not just like I am surviving Hell.” (Literally)

BUT, as long as it’s not addressed head on, it is not real and it can’t hurt them, and as we already know — real things in their lives hurt them and are what makes them miserable.

Stolas is aware of that. He is way ahead of Blitz when it comes to that realization.

Stolas himself mentions the adoration and fear he has toward their escape method several times, in his songs.

Stolas not only knows he’s at risk of losing his escape method, but due to him bringing these feelings he had developed for Blitz forward into his reality, they suffocate him just like the rest of his life does. He has no capacities to rationalize it all, he has never healed. So he convinces himself, despite hope and reason, that Blitz doesn’t want the real him.

He had made this decision even before Blitz came in, whether he liked it or not. The spark Blitz brings into his life is far too small to battle the overbearing guilt of simply existing. He trained and fed that monster for years.

His hope sounds more like foolishness and naïveté to him, because “How can someone love me?”

So he leaves the situation before the conflict begins, because that is how he copes. He wants to escape the crashing “reality he deserves” (which is being all alone and sad), and no matter how much we know that’s not true, right now, Blitz is a part of that reality for good, not his escape method anymore.

Stolas’ image is all he has, and keeping himself composed is literally all he has left when he finally faces Blitz. When Blitz doesn’t allow him to leave, doesn’t understand why he is being “dismissed” and challenges him, the dam breaks and Stolas now forces him out to get some of his equilibrium back. That creates a whole new problem I cannot wait to see addressed in the future episodes. Stolas will most probably overcompensate for that last “show of weakness” in some way. Let’s remember: Blitz had never seen Stolas cry before, and honestly, I don’t think anyone who matters has.

On the other side, Blitz has the realization of “this is real” the moment Stolas offers him the crystal with no strings attached.

“I can always do better” said after Stolas had already placed his freedom on the palm of his hand is him asking not to be forced to face the fact that this is not just a fantasy world anymore.

“Keep it the way it was because that doesn’t hurt” might be the words to go by, and Blitz— no matter the fact that he hears exactly what Stolas is telling him and understands it, too — is now terrified.

Because Blitz is not good enough. He is not a reliable person. He is trash. He is at the bottom of the food chain. He is a murderer. A selfish, heartbreaking freak. He is a hypocrite and a pervert. He is undeserving of understanding, of comfort, of grace.

And that feeling of instant pain and rage you get when you read those words is exactly what he fights against each day while telling all those things to himself.

None of it true, yet Blitz believes it wholeheartedly.

He attempts to push that away again by slipping into the all-too-easy role play, into silly make believe, not because he is cruel, not because he is obtuse, but because he is desperate to keep the door to his escape route open. To keep the fantasy going, because he has no capacities to realize his feelings (or Stolas’ feelings) yet.

And when he is, yet again, cut off, is where the fight or flight kicks in and his inner voices start screaming.

There must be a real, tangible reason that Stolas is doing this. There must be some kind of an endgame that Blitz can understand. Blitz needs his equilibrium back now, and there’s the point of breaking.

Stolas is probably getting bored of him. Stolas now knows what he likes and that he can get it anywhere he wishes, so he is throwing Blitz away and trying to masquerade it as a kind gesture. And to Blitz, who takes pride in standing his ground and never backing down, who despises being looked down on and being pitied, this is absolutely infuriating. It is downright insulting.

Rage pours forth, and he is borderline incoherent, but everything he says is a precise image of what he thinks of himself first and what he wants Stolas to do second. There is nothing to land on however, Stolas is not his escape anymore, so when Blitz falls into anger, he burns to crisp and says things he doesn’t mean.

Escaping into Stolas was all too easy and he had taken it for granted — both of them had. Stolas shows this by, even for a moment, hoping Blitz would say “yes, I will stay” at the drop of a dime, and Blitz by expecting Stolas to take everything he dishes out, bear traps and insults included, and still want to be around him.

Neither of these things happen, neither gets to escape themselves. The spell is broken and now they are both hurt, they are both alone. They are equally at fault when it comes to that fight and they are equally overdue for facing their own demons. They were, at the end of the day, singing two different songs and there was no room for really understanding the other side when there’s already so many assumptions, insecurities, self-hatred and conclusions about what they had birthed from pain and previously accumulated fear.

We are not supposed to be told this straight up through the show. Neither of them is supposed to say this aloud because real life doesn’t work that way, and I love that. It is very raw and visceral and it is very well crafted.

As I said before, I will say it again: miscommunication in this episode was done flawlessly and I cannot wait to see how it all gets resolved.

[2minutesnotice]

do you think the others ever treat blitz like a sugar baby? cause, while he has a successful business, he is the poorest of the four. two of them are literal hell royalty and fizz is one of the most famous people in hell.

i just like imagining them showering blitz in gifts and being silent partners in his business so he doesnt have to worry about going under if he doesnt get enough clients one week

Just so you know, I'll go just with my headcanon Polycule and kiiiinda ignore canon here, if that's okay?

I'm still trying to stay in character as possible but there's some stuff I'm still trying to figure out, without ignoring their own character traits.

For your question:

Private Blitzø appreciates gifts, as long as they're mindfully chosen. He's not into expensive stuff, he has no need for expensive clothes or jewelry, he's fine with his last generations phone, he loves to chose his weapons himself.

But he definitely loves the little gifts, horse merch, a new blanket from Stolas, a date night in which he doesn't need to pay (and sometimes he does and they let him).

I think he would be really pissed when it was obvious that they would gift him things just because he's not in wealth. Like, when Stolas's tried to buy him clothes for an fancy event they attended to (and it was nerve wracking anyway since it was one of the events in which they showed up together, like officially announced and Stolas was all over him the whole time, nervous energy spreading) he got really angry at some point, since it felt like a weird degrading dress up game for him.

Or Fizz gifting him expensive tech, like, he doesn't need a damn watch that talks to him, thank you very much.

BUT Ozzie is smarter lol

Ozzie involves Blitzø into things. He shows him fancy cooking and Blitzø is so damn well good with a knife, cutting those onions without shedding a single tear, and that pan which they use has a special knack to it and nothing sticks on it and oh, these plates are nice, thanks, they're from a manufacturer handmade from Sloth.

So he gifts him these thing, like, a fancy cutting knife for cooking, to prepare dinner faster. Nice looking tableware, in Blitzøs favorite color because he liked them so much and now he can prepare fancy dinners for them on fancy plates.

He involves Blitzø into HIS business and the man is all over the pleasure bringing things, why not gift him those, he had his fingers in them anyway.

If they think Blitzø is absolutely wrecked tired from doing mission after mission and keeping a relationship with 3 people, Ozzie will tell him how good he is and that his business is thriving and gifts ALL of IMP a day spa gift card. That he owns that Spa is a secret lol

So, Blitzø is good with gifts but they know he has boundaries and even if it is hard to accept these sometimes, they really try to not make him uncomfortable. Also, he loves gifts that involve all of them, LuLu Land tickets, coffee dates, sex toys, vacations (he pays his share of the expenses but who would say no to free drinks). He just does not like to feel like he's using all of them for their money.

(And that's something that hits hard, since Stella constantly is on their back screeching that into the crowd. Also tabloids and newspapers rip their relationship apart, since Blitzø moved into the palace, calling him a Homewrecker and that his status is definitely not good enough for a prince, that he's a moneychaser. That does something to people..)

Business Blitzø will talk business.

IMP is good, they're making money and some of that really gets into their pockets. They can buy better guns, better ammo.

It's not as chaotic as it was at the beginning, since they now can use the damn Crystal (yeah it exists, yeah there was a sad hiccup in Stolitz relationship. They worked it out..kinda) and Ozzie is way better at keeping that a secret then Stolas was, with letting Blitzø handling the book.

(I'm still waiting for that court episode since I think the use of the book will be addressed there and they will be in deep shit lol)

Since I headcanon that Blitzø is half Succubus (or Incubi, since he's a male), Ozzie has that card ready when someone asks.

They also have human disguises now (and yes, Stolas fucked him human, he really wanted to try lol), which makes dealing with the human world way easier.

And when it comes to his business, Blitzø allows his partners a little bit of help, but mostly to keep things smoothly. Obviously Ozzie did his biggest part by giving him a Crystal, but sometimes Stolas does some long overdue Paperwork ("You have to do your taxes, darling! You're throwing away money" "Of course Hell would have taxes, it's literally Hell!") , Fizz looking over their schedule ("You should keep up with the timezones, Idiot. Look, if you do your killing in France and then go to Japan, there will be daylight in Japan and it's way easier of you do that at night, I'll keep an eye on that!") and trying to keep his boyfriend alive lol

But no, no partnership with anyone. IMP is Blitzøs work, his pride. He's good at what he's doing there, he loves his employees, he's glad he has something to get up to every morning. There's his name and his name alone on that door.

He needs that and they accept that. It's that one step to a better picture of himself and his self worth. They even got him to hang a picture of them all into his office and his face isn't blacked out. Just a post it glued over it.

So, thank you for your question! As you can see I love to rant about these idiots lol

[idkirdkok]

Rewatched the ep for like the 100th time and needed to categorize the major points. So here are the major mistakes they each made throughout the last 5 minutes, and why they made them

Mistake no.1: stolas calling off the deal and springing the confession on blitz without any buildup or warning

Why i think he did it: he was nervous as fuck, he'd been thinking and overthinking about this for a very long time, and blitz was trying to get them into bed and stolas saw how he almost gave in, so he immediately started talking to avoid temptation. He was also, judging by the duet at the beginning, a bit hopeful that blitz would stay. So he wanted to get to that point quick, to "set them free" as soon as possible. I also think that maybe he (wrongly) assumed that blitz would be expecting it, since stolas kept canceling their fullmoon plans and instead invited him just to talk? And blitz mentioned to fizz that stolas kept asking him about how his day etc. Stolas doesn't know that Blitz firmly believes that someone like stolas couldn't care for someone like him, or that he never entertained the possibility of stolas actually caring about him.

Mistake no.2: blitz taking the confession as a joke/roleplay

Why he did it: "am i not fucking you good enough?" "I can always do better" he got a whiplash from thinking he was being thrown away cause he, once again, wasn't good enough, to stolas suddenly saying what he said. Given how things went at Ozzie's, he was still under the impression that "it's nothing more than stolas wanting blitz to fuck him". Again, Blitz never thought someone like stolas would ever actually care about someone like him, and he also didn't want to lose stolas. So he immediately convinced himself that 1)it must've been a joke and 2)he HAD to do something to change stolas' mind and keep the deal, to keep stolas around.

Mistake no.3: stolas dismissing blitz and walking away instead of giving him time to process

Why he did it: stolas saw blitz' reaction not just as a rejection, but basically a confirmation of what he was worried about, which is that it's always just been about sex, and he's been forcing blitz into this transaction, that being with him was never what blitz wanted. Which is why he immediately tried to leave, he wanted to "set them free", as he said in the duet.

Mistake no.4: blitz yelling and getting aggressive, kicking the door and swearing at stolas.

Why he did it: for one, he doesn't know about Stella and how abusive she was, so he had no way to know that acting like that would cause stolas to shut down. He also was feeling frustrated with how stolas didn't give him a moment to process, he even said that he needed time to think. He actually wanted to have the talk, after he was done yelling, he waited for stolas to snap back, and the moment he saw stolas cry, he went to apologize. He didn't want to actually hurt him.

Later things got worse because Blitz, in not knowing about Stella and how her abuse and literal attempt at killing stolas was affecting stolas, accidentally triggered stolas' flight response by yelling at him. I'm almost fully sure stolas didn't register anything from blitz' yelling, other than the insults and the general aggressiveness of his tone.

Also, about what stolas said before teleporting blitz away:

"I think so very highly of you" was in response to blitz implying that stolas thought blitz was "smaller and not as important". He needed to let blitz know that that wasn't the case at all.

"I didn't realize you think so low of me" as a statement/observation, because he never actually knew how blitz saw him. It hurt him. Which is why he immediately sent blitz away. He most likely didn't want blitz so him break like that.

[cowboinifaggotini]

okay, look far too many people are saying that Blitz was in the wrong here so here are some reasons about why I think Stolas handled this terribly and he is actually in the wrong and not Blitzø (even though both of em are in the wrong)

1. Before we even get to the actual meeting, the fact that Stolas had not prepared Blitz for what was about to happen at all, like he went 'hey come over to have sex'. This is the first thing that makes me feel like even if Stolas deeply cares for Blitz he does not consider his feelings at all. It is just saving a lot of hurt in situations like this to just say "hey come over, we need to talk about something, nothing bad I promise". or anything similar.

2. The fucking book thing. God the fucking book thing, like I don't know how much of Blitzøs emotions Stolas understands but this scene was very much meant to be obvious to him. Like Blitz is convinced he is loosing his job and everything he worked for and the guy he likes (even though he wont fully admit the last one) and he is ranting and begging and tearing up. And. And Stolas is just allowing him to do that. He is like walking to get the crystal and after that explain that everything is going to be okay while Blitz is following him literally begging. For what? For the Dramatic effect? For the grand gesture? What? Like again my issue with all of this isn't that Stolas does not care for Blitz but that he considers his feelings so little that Blitz is getting hurt.

3. The "Why are you giving me this, am I not fucking you good enough? because I can always-I can always do better" getting completely ignored. My man says that he wants for this to continue regardless of the book, and Stolas just acts like this was never said and goes on with his monologue. So when Blitz falsly assumes that he is fucking with him and its all a role-playing sex thing (because a.thats what he was prepared for- sex. and b. lets face it the boy has issues) thats all that Stolas hears, and yes it is one of the most hurtfull things Blitz has done to Stolas so far but is he wrong to assume? Like as blind as Stolas is to how Blitz feels that was something that at least has been hinted to him, in s1ep7 "Ozzies" Blitz literally tells him "our relationship is just you wantimg to fuck me" and does Stolas not reflect on why Blitz might feel that way? What he has done to make Blitz feel that way? When Blitz does the role-playing thing Stolas just stops him thanks him and goes to leave.

4. "the fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that its always about sex" I'm sorry?? I'm sorry???? Whose fault is that? I am so upset about this, 2/3rds of their adult relationship is him sexualising Blitz and he gets upset that Blitz internalises it? Like just no self reflection about what he has done wrong in the relationship.

5. Somebody here said that he wasn't victimising himself. He was victimising him self. Like Blitz finally gets a turn to speak after this entire emotional roller coaster of 'lets have sex-am I loosing my job-I have feelings for you- thats cant be real is this about sex?-oh this this wasnt about-more feelings- you dont care about anything but the sex-' and he gets upset, in my opinion rightfully so, considering that what he says is that Stolas cant treat people like this. Stolas has yet to realise how his position of privilege is affecting his relationship with Blitz, but he also didn't realise how he had a privileged position in this entire conversation, I feel like this entire part of the episode where they talked is a representation of Stolas's and Blitzs entire relationship. And after all of this Blitz is upset and he tells Stolas that he used him like his "little butler" (witch he was doing in season 1) and now he is dismissing him without giving him a moment to think about how he feels. He makes it clear to Stolas that this is about class and privilege- and yes he calls him a rich pompous asshole- and he tells him to get to his level-to actually argue with him and not just monologue- and what does Stolas do? say "I think so very highly of you, I didn't realise you think so low of me". This scene, I swear to god. I got ptsd from my almond with this scene. Is he hurt? yes, ofcourse, but once again he completely dismisses Blitzø and all the feelings he just expressed and he says "I love you, you dont love me". That is victimising oneself, if you have been raised by parents that have a tedency to shut down arguments where you tell them they hurt you by saying "oh Im just a terrible parent, I guess you hate me" you see how Stolas reaction is him victimising himself. And then just fully dismissing him and ending the argument because he just wants to even though Blitz still has stuff he needs to say.

[boldlyspeedydreamerreturns]

The new episode was fantastic!! I absolutely loved it. I'm not a huge fan of musicals, but I really enjoyed this. Especially Ozzie and Fizz's song. Mammon was a very interesting character. Him threatening Ozzie and then just being like...well...shit, when he said the "secret" anyways was hilarious. Ozzie absolutely hating Mammon's guts was awesome. He would know better than most how the other sins operate. That crazy stalker guy was disturbing, and I was so happy when Blitz blew his head off. Speaking of Blitz, he was great this episode. His short but friendly moments with Ozzie were nice. And he was genuinely trying to support Fizz, in his own way.

And I'm gonna rant about Ozzie and Fizz for a minute here. They. Are. So. Damn. Cute! Ozzie the entire episode was like, "Babe talk to me. I see you're struggling, let me love you." And it was great. Hearing them say "I love you" to each other was amazing. I adore how protective and caring Ozzie is to Fizz. Fizz's breakdown was heartbreaking, but Ozzie comforting him and telling him that win or lose he'll always be there was just beautiful. And bringing up Ozzie telling everyone he loves Fizz again, I loved how nobody was shocked. The crowd was cheering and saying "I knew it, I knew it!" That was the best. Even if Mammon says Ozzie will regret it. And the snuggles on stage and in the car after they left, so adorable. These two have probably dethroned Moxxie and Millie as Hell's sweetest couple.

Just look at the way he looks at Fizz. True love.

Also, shout out to whoever had the idea to make Fizz know sign language and interact with a cute kid, because that was genius and I will never get over it.

Those twins were really cool looking. They're obviously from the envy ring, which might give us a hint that we'll see that ring soon, but I don't really know.

Fizz having a crisis about still being good enough to stay on top after so many years was honestly really interesting to see. Because of the status he got from being Mammon's brand face, he was able to meet Ozzie and have a good life he wouldn't have been able to otherwise. The animation of the panic attacks was ironically beautiful. Showing how much stress Fizz was under and how it was taking a very serious toll on him.

I do worry about what might happen now that Ozzie and Fizz are officially out in the open so to speak. Fizz definitely seemed scared or at least nervous when Ozzie admitted to them being together. Which makes sense since the media will likely go after Fizz more than Ozzie because of his status. We already saw that in the newspaper from episode 6, when Fizz was called a gold digger and only after sex and money from Ozzie, which isn't true. With the money Fizz made as Mammon's brand face he was more than capable of living comfortably on his own. I feel like this might lead to a fight between them. Not a break up, but definitely a bigger fight than they've probably had before. But I can see it ending with Ozzie apologizing for blurting it out in the heat of the moment and not thinking about how Fizz could be affected. I believe that Ozzie will listen to Fizz's concerns and do his best to make things right, though it might be too late to change anything, they'll make it through.

Very excited to see what happens next.

[respectthepetty]

One ray has faced consequences multiple times while Boston hasn’t and neither will mew! what new did but he didn’t force him he’s doing it to get back at top without realizing he’s hurting mew I’m sorry but Ray deserves an apology because mew knows how Ray feels and he’s using that for his own gain to get back at top I don’t get why this fandom is so hard on him but it’s frustrating because how sm I the only one seeing Ray how am I the only one seeing how damaged how broken he is. ? He’s not perfect but for me he has enough room to become better also I wish the fandom will stop blaming everything on Ray sand wasn’t forced to stay he chooses to keep coming back

Also thank u for seeing him like how I do thank u for seeing he’s just a imperfect human he can change he can fix himself he just needs to believe in himself , love himself

Anon, before I roll all the way back to the beginning, I'm going to turn on Bebe Rexha's "Last Hurrah" to help me organize my thoughts because . . .

Boston has faced consequences.

He sexually assaulted Top and recorded his friends making out, yet he was unknowingly filmed AND recorded having sex, got kicked into a pool, his friends aren't speaking to him, Mew threatened to show his non-consensual pornography to his father, and now a straight guy is about to use him for experimentation after breaking up with his girlfriend.

About Mew, who I HATE as much as Cheum, you're right, he is the one who suggested the party and asked about the drugs. Mew is hellbent on fucking up his life and is using Ray just like he used Top to try on a different version of himself like a paper doll trying on different paper dresses which all lack depth.

And Ray knows this.

He was standing right next to Mew when he said this, yet . . .

Then, he waltzed over to Sand to demand sex.

And much like you, Anon, I'm pissed Sand keeps coming back

Just like I'm pissed Top came back

And Nick

But everyone has been getting their ass handed to them on my dash. I have not seen one character painted as the "good one" because all of them really fucking suck. All. Of. Them. (But Mew and Cheum took the cake for me this episode for reasons like this)

Anon, all these kids are hurting and putting that pain onto each other in various ways, but the only reason I love Ray is because I can understand him. I don't understand these other characters and the reasons they keep fucking up, but I get my fellow Slut for Christ.

He is trying to find an escape from his life. Partying, alcohol, drugs, Mew, Sand, anything and everything that can provide any sense of relief.

Because really he is trying to escape himself, which is easier to do if he is so blitzed that he can't even remember his name or the reason he hates himself. He can't feel bad if he doesn't feel anything at all.

*turns up Bebe Rexha's "Last Hurrah"*

I know I've said it all before But it won't hurt to do it all once more This is my last hurrah, once I start I ain't gonna stop 'tiI I go too far Last hurrah and it's okay Maybe tomorrow I won't feel this pain Maybe I'll never change But I'm still glad I came Try again another day But for now, this is my last hurrah

[kathyprior4200]

Helluva Boss S2 E9: Full Moon Apology Tour

The red full moon turned the crimson sky even redder than usual. Blitzo had gone shopping for sex toys: phallus shaped candles from a shopkeeper, whips and things from the spider shopkeeper and even got a chance to see Fizzarolli’s collection of gadgets. He had bought the Hell Dinger 5000 eldritch purple vibrator from Fizzarolli and was now lifting up a sack onto Stolas’ balcony.

Stolas twiddled his thumbs and sat sadly on his bed.

Blitzo posed as he lifted himself over the railing. He dragged the bag over to Stolas.

“Hi-dee ha hoo ha, Stolas! Guess what I got for us? I got lots of fun shit for us to play with tonight!”

He pulled out a large candle with “Dankee” on it.

“Like this extra-large candle that smells like…” He sniffed, “…hooorny!” He tossed aside a gnome-shaped butt plug. “I got-I got whatever uh, this little guy is, but I’m sure there’s some place in your cloaca we can stick it. And look at this bad boy!”

He turned on the vibrator and laughed evilly.  “HAHAHA!”

Stolas sat up. “Do you…ahem, do you have my book, Blitz?”

Blitzo’s smile fell, and he turned off the vibrator. “Yeah, uh, yeah, it’s right here, I always bring it. Why do you…”

Stolas held out his hand. “I need it back. Permanently.”

Blitzo pulled the grimoire back. “N-n-now hold on, Stolas. Come on. Is this because I’ve taken up skipping a few rounds with you in bed because I’m busy? That ain’t fair. Alright, I-I can still hold up my end of the bargain! Alright? L-let me show you a good time tonight.” He spoke seductively. “You know I caaan…”

Stolas shuddered and pulled away. “Please don’t…say it like that, Blitzo. I…”

Blitzo used his hands to push open Stolas’ legs. “Come onnn, bitch. You know I don’t disappoint…”

Stolas briefly blushed, then shook his head. “No, no, no. There’s no need. I’ve made up my mind.” He stood up and walked away, grimoire in his arms.

Blitzo desperately followed him. “Stolas, please! I-I need this book, please! I need this book, Stolas. I will do anything.”

Stolas’ grimoire hovered next to him. Stolas did a small smile and showed Blitzo a small black box with a blue sigil of Asmodeus on top. He opened it, revealing an orange-yellow crystal on a teal cushion.

“This is an Asmodean crystal. It’s registered in your name.”

Blitzo looked confused. “Uh, what?”

Stolas flipped open the book with his magic, showing an icon of Blitzo using the crystal to travel from the Hell pentagram planet to a city on Earth, where he smashed it with his feet.

“Asmodeus has his demons legally travel to Earth for work all the time. I made the case for you to own one. You will be technically under his jurisdiction, but you will be able to go anywhere you want in the human realm without fear of consequence.”

Stolas put his grimoire back on the shelf. “Without breaking demon law. You no longer need my grimoire.”

“What?” Blitzo asked sheepishly.

Stolas breathed, looking downcast. “You…no longer have any obligation to see me, to touch me, to bed me, you are…you are free of me.”

Blitzo examined the crystal. “I…don’t understand. Why are you giving me this? Am I not, like, fucking you good enough? Because I-I can always-I can always do better…”

“Blitz,” Stolas began, looking him in the eyes and putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m giving you this because I care…very deeply for you. And I have for some time.” He attached the yellow crystal to Blitzo’s glove, embedding itself into his hand. The sigil of Asmodeus briefly flashed in gold. “But this transactional thing we have, it’s not right anymore. It hasn’t been. It never was. And now all I can see is how wrong it is to be so tethered to someone in such an unfair way…and not know how they feel. But I want you to continue to be who you are, your business.”

Stolas removed his hat.

“You don’t have to stay with here with me. But…I want you to. I want you to stay here with me because you want to. Only if you want to.”

Blitzo then smirked after a pause. “Oookay, alright, you’re fucking with me.” Stolas appeared shocked that Blitzo was dismissing him. “This is an interesting roleplay. Never done this one, but I can get into it. Alright, how’s this, okay…’Oh Stolas, I’ll stay with you. I love you soooo much, I…’”

Stolas held up a hand for Blitzo to stop. He put his hat back on.

“Thank you Blitz, for…awakening me…for making me so happy. Even if only for a little while.” He paused, trembling with the pain of saying goodbye. “I wish you the best with your business.”

Blitzo was stunned. “Wait, what? You were serious? Oh, hold on now, Stols. What the fuck?”

Stolas somberly walked down the hallway, all the mirrors and photos covered by sparkly cloths. Stolas figured it was time to move on and put his past behind him. The pictures of Octavia peered behind the curtains.

“I have my answer, Blitz. You needn’t say anything. I have wanted you for so long, that your first instinct is that it’s always…about sex.” He paused. “That’s enough to know what this is.”

Blitzo fumed, kicking open the double doors. “What?! FUCK you, Stolas! You spring this feelings bullshit on me, are you FUCKING KIDDING?! Can I get a FUCKING minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous rich ASSHOLE?!”

His voice echoed in the spacious room, bloodred light shining through the stained-glass windows.

Stolas and Blitzo froze, and a somber silence settled. The crystal wavy chandelier from Stolas and Blitzo’s childhood was also covered.

 Blitzo continued. “Treat me like one of your little butler imps?! You can’t just dismiss me like that!” Tears formed in his eyes. “I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this EVERY TIME, like you can just play with our feelings because we’re smaller and not as IMPORTANT! Well, I’m not letting you, BITCH! LET’S GO!”

His voice echoed again. Tears flowed in Stolas’ eyes. He gulped silently and his mouth trembled.

 “Blitz, I think so very highly of you…” His voice broke, “I didn’t realize you think so lowly of me…”

After a pause, he briefly gave him a glance.

“Goodbye, Blitz.”

Blitzo gasped and reached out.  “Stolas, wait! I’m s…”

Before he could apologize, Blitzo found himself teleported outside Stolas’ mansion.

 “What…the….FUUUUUUUCK?!” Blitzo screamed in disbelief and fury as a bunch of hellish crows cawed and flocked toward the red full moon in the crimson sky.

0 0 0

A smooth stream of water flowed into a large pool illuminated by white orbs and pink and blue light. Near the stream at the top were a group of dark orange Venus Fly Trap plants with orange eyes surrounded by black sclera. All around the garden were palm trees and leafy plants that gave it a tropical peaceful atmosphere, despite being in Hell. Stolas was lounging on a purple and blue lounge chair with gold trim. Next to him was a glass of red wine on a gold side table. Stolas was currently reading a romance novel called “Pride and Brimstone.” He wore a white housecoat robe decorated with dark leaves.

A figure climbed up the garden wall, which had spiky vines snaking up the sides.

“Heeellloo, hello, hello, Stolas.”

Stolas briefly peered up, then glared and covered his face with his book.

“You have…AH!”

Blitzo fell into the bushes before standing up and posing on a Venus Fly Trap plant.

“You haven’t been answering my texts and I sent you a bunch of funny shit. So what gives?”

Stolas deadpanned, still looking at his book. “I was hoping my lack of ‘ha ha’s’ in response to the photos you sent would be an indicator I didn’t want to talk right now.”

“Oh, come on, Stolas, we just had a rough night.” Blitzo gave him a suggestive look, lowering his book with a hand. “’Sides, you always want to hear from me.”

Stolas sighed and closed the book, fatigue in his eyes. “Blitz. What is it you want?”

“I wanna feel like I’m earning my way to Earth. Kay? So get your tight feathered ass out of that lawn chair and get into the bedroom so I can…” He leaned in close, “fuck it!”

“Wow. Poetry.” Stolas said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and stood up. “I’m sure such a statement would have had me swooning by now.”

Blitzo followed him, nervously, brushing his own neck. “Uhh, I, sh-yeah, sure that wa-, okay, that was a shitty way for me to say it, but you usually like it when I talk all dirty and fucky and shit…”

Stolas walked toward a small red tent decorated with strings of round lights inside. The tent had a gold mobile at the top with a round moon and extending from it were figures of stars, a sun and a crescent moon.

Stolas turned around with a glare.

“Come on,” said Blitzo, “we don’t do words, we do sex.”

“As shocking as this might seem, Blitz, I don’t think I’m in the mood to do ‘sex’ with you. In fact, I don’t think I’m even in the mood to do words with you!” He waved a hand. “So how about you respect that.”

“Oh, come on, Stolas, you can’t mean that,” Blitzo pleaded, following him. “You always love seeing this.” He grinned and posed by the tent curtains.

“Seeing you right now is hard!” Stolas proclaimed. “I don’t want to feel worse than I already do.”

Stolas placed his book on a table.

“It’s bad enough I got an invite to this anti-Blitzo party,” Stolas said, opening up the invitation, “’an honorary invite for being your freshest ex.’”

Blitzo’s eyes went wide with shock and fury. “ANTI-BLITZO PARTY?! WHO THE FUCK’S BEHIND THIS?!” He reached for it, but Stolas held it back.

“Oh, it’s entirely immature,” Stolas remarked, waving a hand. “I’d never indulge in this nonsense, it’s silly.” He held out the invitation to Blitzo, who ripped it out of his hands.

“Real silly. Real fucking classy.”

Stolas then smirked. “Kind of them to invite me, though. It might be rude not to make an appearance.”

Blitzo opened it up.

On the front of the invitation was “YOU’RE INVITED!!” in pink cursive letters with hearts as the exclamation point dots. Down below was a drawing of a dead Blitzo with a large knife in his chest, lying in black blood. On the back was a pink broken heart. Inside the card were more pink words: “Stolas, congrats! Blitzo has officially broken your fucking heart. It would be my pleasure to extend this honorary invite for being his freshest ex, to our Halloween party in the human world (located at 666 South Maple Avenue) for closure and to indulge in our shared hatred for that miserable fuckboy. Hope to see you there. Verosika Mayday.” She signed her name with more hearts.

“VEROSIKA?!” Blitzo fumed. “Of course, that fucking bitch!”

“I will say,” Stolas began, “It’s rather concerning you have an entire party devoted to hating you though, Blitz.”

Blitzo placed the invitation back into Stolas’ hands. “Oh please, everyone hates me for shitty reasons.” He sat down in a chair. “In the end, everyone’s just bitter they couldn’t tie this ass down.” He propped his legs onto the table. “I’m too much imp to simp.”

Stolas folded his arms. “You really think that’s the reason?”

“Yes sir, they couldn’t handle that I moved on.”

“Oh! So you’re used to being the one crushing others’ feelings, hm?” Stolas asked, glaring.

“If by…” Blitzo impersonated Stolas’ royal voice, “‘crushing others’ feelings,’ you mean ends shit before it gets serious, then bingo!”

“If you’re so scared of getting serious and getting too close in relationships, what are you doing here then, Blitz?” Stolas asked.

Blitzo looked unsure. “Waiting for you to admit that you get off to getting plowed by people you look down on.”

“I don’t look down on you!” Stolas cried. “How many times do I have to say it? When have I ever?!”

Blitzo rolled his eyes and explained sarcastically, “Oh, I don’t know…how about when you first started using me for sex every full moon? Or when you wanted me to kill some guy for spreading info about global warming? And all that dirty talk you did on the phone…you claim I’m scared of intimacy, but you can’t even communicate properly! I’m just giving you what you want, right?!”

Stolas sat in a chair. “You sound just like that horrific cowboy Striker!”

“Oh, don’t compare me to that scumbag!” Blitzo snapped back. “I saved you the first time!”

“The first time?” Stolas asked.

Blitzo paused. “Yeah, you know, at the Harvest Moon Festival?”

“And yet, you didn’t look for me after he almost killed me in the Wrath mine!”

“I got there…eventually…”

“I called you for help!”

“Well, you sure sounded horny as fuck on the phone, though! Besides I had to take care of Loona.”

“Oh right, that pet of yours.”

“She’s my daughter, you prick!”

Stolas sighed and stood up, holding his “Pride and Brimstone” romantic novel in his long black arms. Blitzo followed him down the path.

“Anyway, how was I supposed to know you could get hurt?” Blitzo asked. “You’re immortal and shit! You’re a fucking prince! If me and my team could kick that guy’s ass so easily, then I’m sure you’d have no problem.”

Stolas turned around and did a mock bow. “I suppose you are right, silly me. It’s not an imp’s place to protect a Goetia is it?”

Bypassing Stolas’ sarcasm, Blitzo held out a hand. “Aaand there it is! Took ya long enough!”

Stolas put his hands on his hips. “That’s all you were waiting for, wasn’t it? For me to play into this idea you have of me that I’m this prince who thinks he’s so much better than you.” His arms lowered. “Well, I don’t! Why would I allow everyone to see how much I like you? And even if I didn’t like you, why would I waste my time mistreating you? Our relationship was supposed to be sacred! I’ve tried so fucking hard to spend time with you, to support you. You can’t just ignore all that!”

Blitzo fired back, “THAT’S THE GAYEST SHIT I’VE HEARD ALL DAY!”

Stolas glared down. “Do you ever feel any kind of remorse for what you do? Have you apologized properly to anyone once in your life?”

Blitzo’s tail swished back and forth. “Why would I need to apologize to anyone? They all just hurt me and then they’re gone. I have no time to do something sissy like that.”

“Is that what your father taught you?”

“Like that’s any of your business. Perhaps you should go back to your own prissy papa and let him help you find imp fucktoys to…”

“Get out!” Stolas barked. “Right now! I don’t want to hear any more from a person who can’t apologize…”

Blitzo sniffed, his voice cracking. “You think I can’t apologize?! Oh sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I’ve let my self-hatred stop me from apologizing to anyone I could ever care about!”

Stolas turned around, slightly surprised. “Well yes. That.”

After a brief silence, Blitzo fumed, pointing a finger. “Weeellll fuck you! I can sorry the fuck outta people! Just you watch!”

Stolas turned around and angrily stomped up the stairs toward the double glass doors.

Blitzo continued. “I sorried Fizz so hard, he cried! And I can sorry more people, everyone but you! ‘Cause I don’t owe you dick!”

Without another word, Stolas opened the door and slammed it shut, disappearing inside.

Blitzo sighed before turning around, full of resentment. “Everyone but you.”

0 0 0

Blitzo paced back and forth in his apartment before briefly curling himself up on his couch. Clenching a fist, he later slammed down his mug of coffee on a table, the mug showing a design of two horses howling at a full moon.

“I can totally apologize to the people I’ve fucked with,” Blitzo claimed. He got into his van and closed the door. A pile of junk, boxes, and cans sat next to him on the red seat.

“I mean, how many could there possibly be?”

He took a pen with a horseshoe design on it and wrote on a piece of paper. On the list were “Moxxie?” and “Annoying Kid.”

Blitzo traveled to a basketball court, where a demonic Eddie was pushing other boys and shooting a demon’s head into the basket. He was short and chubby with red skin, red eyes, a forked tail and claws. He still wore the same orange shirt with a ringed planet on it, black pants, and a blue baseball cap.

Blitzo tossed him a crumpled note and he glanced down. He picked it up and Blitzo’s note read, “Sorry. Welcome to Hell, dumbass!”

Eddie roared and gave a waving Blitzo double middle fingers.

Getting back into his van, Blitzo crossed off “Annoying Kid.”

Blitzo then wrote “Southern Bitch�� on the list.

0 0 0

Mayberry walked from the I.M.P. office, satisfied that her rival Martha was dead and gone. She was happily full from the cake she had with the gang, “Killed the Bitch!” written on a banner. She figured that I.M.P. did a well enough job, despite the process being expensive and longer than she had expected. She wore her usual purple shirt with eyes, red thin glasses, red earrings, a white worn skirt and often let her hooved feet be free. She thought she would forever delight in the thought of Martha getting shot by the imp.

But after several more chaotic days trying to manage dozens of demonic children at her school, her satisfaction of revenge was short-lived. Here she was now in Hell, stuck in a place of misery. Which could only mean…

“Shit. She must still be out there, too!”

Mayberry couldn’t think of anything worse than being stuck in Hell with her rival. She could only hope that Martha was being tortured somewhere, preferably eaten by cannibals or wild animals.

The days went by. No sign of her husband anywhere. Mayberry was alone, with no family, no friends, and an old small apartment in a polluted city to call home. She worked full time at the school from dawn to dusk, scrambling to create lesson plans and meeting with parents to discuss “Malevolent behavior worthy of gold stars.” (Of course, killing wasn’t allowed and many Hellborn children mocked the Sinners for their deaths. “We’re proper demons, not hybrids,” they sang, while the Sinners punched their classmates retorting “We’re immortal! Have fun being Roo’s food!” “Well beware of the angels, ex-human fuckers!” “You’re not even real demons, freaks!”

“We like our children being tough and no bullshit, but even the interspecies fighting has gotten out of control,” many of the parents said.

“Bring back the Satanic Pledge of Allegiance,” another parent chided.

“Are you sure your heat conditioning works properly? And the reheaterator for their lunches?”

“So what if my son speaks demonic Latin and Enns? Can’t you include the language into your curriculum?

The demonic school board was even more harsh to her.

“Your school may be closed if it doesn’t follow our standards,” they said, holding clipboards and scrutinizing every corner of the classroom. “The torture toys are broken over here. The remains of this demon have not been properly disposed of. And your songs…reek of humanity!”

“Your lesson plans don’t include all the subjects for education. You have math, literature, science, physical activities��but no demon history? No inclusion of wealthy Envian aquatics and poor Wrath Imp children alike? You need updates. Your class has predominant Sinners…you need more diversity.”

“Low marks, Mayberry. Get your act together.”

Mayberry’s face fell as her demon students hit and hollered through her thoughts. Oh, how she missed her more innocent red schoolhouse on Earth and the chirping birds. The only birds around the school were many-eyed vultures around an old, rusted playground situated on cracked asphalt and surrounded by barbed wire fences. 

Very little pay. Barely enough for rent. Big meals were few and far between. Long walks back to her apartment with a cacophony of catcalls, cursing, and crying.

Mayberry sighed as she stared at her reflection from her water in a cup. Her hands shook as she tried to eat bits of many classic demon foods: human hearts, fried bugs, dog heads, rotten vegetables and fruit, raw animal meats…anything disgusting to humans. Even the regular familiar food was stale in comparison to Earth. More guilt swept in as she found her taste buds liking and tolerating the food.

Even more bizarre, she found no problems or reactions as she smoked her cigarette. Perhaps she could drown herself in nicotine and drugs for eternity…and no one would notice. 

She was a monster. A murderer. No longer human. Forever taken from her family because of her mistake and her jealousy.  Being punished for sin…and ironically being in a place full of sin! Existence itself was a cruel joke.

Mayberry was surprised she hadn’t died in Hell already with all the crime and chaos going on. At any moment, her job and home would be lost, and she’d have to beg on the streets. Bags hung under her eyes for lack of sleep. She wondered if she would ever remember the blue sky from her past life ever again.

One of her only activities to bring her a sense of peace was being in nature. She walked through the woods whenever she got the chance. After discovering her newfound strength and enhanced senses, she was no longer afraid of going in alone, even at night.

“Finding refuge in the forest, like a creature of the night,” she thought.

She thought she would be the only Sinner to ever grace the presence of this woody place…

Until she saw HER.

A red skinned woman with thick black hair, and a gaping black eye with black liquid running down. Large black cloven feet and legs, a sexy wavy waist, prominent red breasts under a torn polka dot shirt, thick horns, a glowing pink eye…

There was no doubt.

“You!” Mayberry spat, pointing a clawed finger under the moonlight. “How the fuck are you still alive?!”

Martha turned around, dropping her deerskin. “Oh? Is that the whiny schoolteacher? Yes, I’m back.”

“Mrs. Mayberry, thank you very much,” Mayberry scowled.

“How’d you like your life in Hell now that you don’t have a family?” Martha asked, folding her arms. “Still an elderly widow bitch?”

“Like that’s your concern, slut. And how’re you hanging on after those imps killed you?” Mayberry fired back.

Martha seethed. “Pissed as fuck but otherwise…not so bad. Now if you’re done gloatin’ I gotta get back home…”

“Wait,” Mayberry said. “I…I don’t wanna be alone…”

“Huh?” Martha turned around.

“Although I hate…um hated your guts, you’re the only person I really know here.”

“Where’s my ex-lover and your ex-husband?”

Mayberry looked downcast. “No clue.”

“Wanna go find him?”

“Hell no! I’m barely managing on my own.”

“And you expect me to help you?”

“At least tell me how to better navigate this place.”

“You’ve been here longer than me, darlin,’” said Martha, “You seem to be doing fine on your own.”

“I wish.” Mayberry smirked. “It appears that imp crew I hired was successful in killing you.”

Martha scoffed. “So, you’re part of my death. Feel satisfied with your revenge?”

Mayberry sighed. “Well…not really anymore. I can’t believe it, though! To think they all called you a hero on Earth! If only I had my gun now…”

Martha shrugged. “I guess that means we’re both villains now. No use tryin’ to kill me now. We’re the living dead.”

 Mayberry nervously fiddled with her hands. “Well…I killed my cheating husband and traumatized my school children! And now, I’m stuck here in this brimstone hellhole dump! I can barely eat and sleep.”

 “I mean, I’m pissed that I got shot by those imps, but hey, Hell ain’t so bad! I mean, look at my new dashing form!” Martha swayed her hips. “And now you don’t have to worry about jail time on Earth. You’re free.”

Mayberry stared at Martha, strangely transfixed. She was stunned that her enemy left her feeling…aroused? Comforted? Confused? “I guess you’re right. I guess when you’ve killed someone and see it so much around you, you get sort of used to it. At least you don’t look like a horned purple people eater.”

Martha chuckled. “I like your body…makes you unique…in an old schoolteacher kind of way.”

Mayberry blushed, despite herself. “Really? I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think you’re…”

Martha smirked. “Hot too? This coming from my rival, heheheh. I guess my southern charm still works wonders.”

Mayberry gasped. “Wait, what about your husband and your kids?”

Martha shrugged. “Oh, they’re busy terrorizing villages and huntin’ the forest creatures. Ever since discovering my new strength and powers, I’ve grown more distant from them and felt…another calling.”

Mayberry raised her eyebrows. “A calling? I’ve been teaching little demon school kids. It has its perks I guess, but I still feel so…lonely.”

 “Where do you live?”

Mayberry took a puff of her cigarette. “In the city. Some dingy old apartment.”

Martha grinned. “I live in a cabin in the dark woods. It’s a nice place to be away from the Sinners and scum.”

Mayberry folded her arms. “Your family was a bunch of cannibals!”

Martha grinned evilly. “Yep! All in the honor of Satan himself! I’m an honorary member of his cult, now!”

Mayberry froze. “Wait, Satan is real?”

Martha nodded. “Darn tootin! His cult is mainly comprised of imps from Wrath but there are plenty of centers here in Pride. We do dark rituals, eat other demons and train in an underground army to invade Earth. Actually pays pretty well. Plus, I think it’ll help bring down those imps. Satan’s very particular about how he wants demons interacting with humans.”

 “Why would I want to join a bunch of evil psychos?”

Martha flipped her hair. “I mean, this is Hell, we’re all mad here. You’ll be stayin’ here forever, why not let yourself loose for a while? No point in tryin’ to instill your former human values here.”

Mayberry paused. Tired and lonely, she wanted someplace nice to relax, a comfortable bed, and a new companion. “In that case…can I come visit you in your cabin?”

Martha smiled, pleasantly surprised at Mayberry’s sudden eagerness. “Anythin’ to keep this lovely bitch company. I’m still pretty rich. You like baths?”

Mayberry smiled. “Who doesn’t?”

Martha winked. “Wanna join me and let things go…south…?”

Mayberry blushed and took several steps back. “Uh, um…I think Hell’s making me tougher…and gayer than I could have ever imagined on Earth…but still, then I’d be cheating…”

Martha rolled her working eye. “With a long dead ex-husband? Nah. Don’t worry. There’s always a chance to start over and form new relationships. Why not start now?”

Mayberry was still unsure. “And you want one with me? Even after I hired them to kill you?”

“Heh. It still satisfies me seeing you struggle to get used to Hell. I guess our deaths satisfied both our hatreds for each other.”

“And strangely brought us together…” Mayberry finished, staring into Martha’s eye.

Martha picked up her deerskin and took Mayberry’s hand. “Welcome to your new eternity in Hell, babe. Why not let go of the barren past and let your life get…spicy…?”

Mayberry smiled again, suddenly feeling lighter and freer than she could have dreamed. “No husbands…no problems…teach me a thing or two, demonic southern belle…”

Blitzo walked up to a cabin in the woods and knocked on the door. The door opened.

“Yeeauuss?” replied a woman with a southern drawl. She had red skin, sharp teeth and thick wavy gray hair with a few dark gray and red streaks in it. Her hair hung past her waist. She wore black skull earrings with red eyes. Her short shirt was torn, white with red polka dots and a black sharp top line, revealing large breasts. Her legs were black with red lines below her black belt and her feet were goat hooves. Finally, she displayed long black curved horns with red lines. Her left eye was pink against black sclera and her right eye was gaping black where she had been shot by Moxxie.

The woman then frowned and glared down at Blitzo, black hands on her hips. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Heeyy Martha,” Blitzo smiled nervously, speaking fast. “Look I know we killed you in the past, but I just wanted to say no hard feelings and offer this.”

He winked and held out a brown gift basket. Inside was Swiss cheese, bottles of hot sauce and a note with “sorry” on it.

As Blitzo handed it to her, a purple demon stepped out into the living room, dripping wet, hands up. She had red thin glasses, red diamond earrings, straight white hair, horns, a long tail, black hooves and a white towel wrapped around herself. It was none other than Mrs. Mayberry, the former schoolteacher on Earth. She and Martha had gone from rivals to lovers since they both turned into Sinner demons in Hell.

Mrs. Mayberry’s red eyes glowed and went wide in embarrassment as Blitzo gave her a smirk. Martha turned to glance at her partner, then shot back sarcastically at Blitzo, “Yeah, that’s fuckin’ right!” Giving him one last glare, she slammed the door on him. Blitzo smiled and crossed “Southern Bitch” off his apology list.

Martha turned back around and set the basket onto a table. Mayberry dried herself off.

“Was that…that imp I talked to a while ago?”

Martha scowled. “Yep. That horned fucker who traveled to Earth to kill me. What a pathetic excuse for an apology.”

“Your assassin tried to apologize to you? It sounded more like mocking if you ask me,” said Mayberry, raising her eyebrows.

“I agree.”

Mayberry looked downcast. “But still, I was the one who…”

Martha cut her off.  “It’s alright, darlin’. How about we focus on relaxation and our future plan to bring down those low-class horned clowns?”

The two women sat down and took out slices of Swiss cheese.

“Whatever you say, dear,” said Mayberry. She poured a little hot sauce on the cheese and took a bite.

“Hey, this is a very unique flavor…wow that’s hot!” She gasped, her face briefly red.

Martha smirked. “Hotter than me?”

Mayberry grinned back. “Well, not even close.”

Martha fed Mayberry some of her cheese and Mayberry did the same. Before long, they had both finished the cheese and hot sauce, leaving only empty hot sauce bottles. They licked the remaining hot sauce around their mouths.

Martha smiled. “Here’s to the glory of Lord Satan, our newfound freedom, death to Blitzo and new relationships beyond husbands!”

Mayberry lit up in return, deciding to embrace her new life as much as she could. “Here, here!”

“Ave Satanus!” Martha proclaimed. The women clinked their empty hot sauce bottles together and made out with French-kissing.

Blitzo walked up to a cabin in the woods and knocked on the door. The door opened.

“Yeeauuss?” replied a woman with a southern drawl. She had red skin, sharp teeth and thick wavy gray hair with a few dark gray and red streaks in it. Her hair hung past her waist. She wore black skull earrings with red eyes. Her short shirt was torn, white with red polka dots and a black sharp top line, revealing large breasts. Her legs were black with red lines below her black belt and her feet were goat hooves. Finally, she displayed long black curved horns with red lines. Her left eye was pink against black sclera and her right eye was gaping black where she had been shot by Moxxie.

The woman then frowned and glared down at Blitzo, black hands on her hips. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Heeyy Martha,” Blitzo smiled nervously, speaking fast. “Look I know we killed you in the past, but I just wanted to say no hard feelings and offer this.”

He winked and held out a brown gift basket. Inside was Swiss cheese, bottles of hot sauce and a note with “sorry” on it.

As Blitzo handed it to her, a purple demon stepped out into the living room, dripping wet, hands up. She had red thin glasses, red diamond earrings, straight white hair, horns, a long tail, black hooves and a white towel wrapped around herself. It was none other than Mrs. Mayberry, the former schoolteacher on Earth. She and Martha had gone from rivals to lovers since they both turned into Sinner demons in Hell.

Mrs. Mayberry’s red eyes glowed and went wide in embarrassment as Blitzo gave her a smirk. Martha turned to glance at her partner, then shot back sarcastically at Blitzo, “Yeah, that’s fuckin’ right!” Giving him one last glare, she slammed the door on him. Blitzo smiled and crossed “Southern Bitch” off his apology list.

0 0 0

His list read, “Moxxie?” “Southern Bitch,” “Annoying Kid,” “Guy I Ran Over,” “Hot Bouncer,” “Shitty Agents,” “Angel Sheep,” “Stolas?” and, of course, “Verosika Bitch.”

A baby carriage rolled over to the Loo-Loo Land apple mascot, Loo-Loo who now sat homeless near a tent, surrounded by the destroyed theme park. A small fire was lit in a metal tin can in front of him with an apple design on it. Blitzo popped out from the carriage and slapped a gift basket of Swiss cheese, hot sauce and a “sorry” note into the mascot’s eye. Blitzo smiled and wheeled away, the mascot sitting dejectedly. Robo Fizz’s glowing eyes and grin appeared menacingly in the darkness.

Blitzo tossed another gift basket through a portal and it landed in a room full of the gruesome remains of the fallen agents.

Blitzo stepped through the portal to the Lust Ring and stood on an incubus he knocked to the ground. With a bow, he presented the pink incubus bouncer a bouquet of white flowers with eyes on them. The bouncer stood perplexed with the flowers in his hands.

At the Hollys movie awards on Earth, Blitzo dressed as a blonde princess in a light blue dress with a crown and bowed on stage. Black and white photos of the movie director and the “Sweetie I’m In The House” actor appeared on a large screen with “In Memorium” in white letters.

The D.H.O.R.K.S agents sat bored in their headquarters. Agent Two was slumped over and Agent One absentmindedly pressed a green button at the controls. Through the pink diamond portal, Blitzo placed a “sowy” note on their desk with a sad face and a drawing of a horse on it. He smiled and snapped both his fingers at them. The agents, perplexed at first, soon yelled and tried to grab him, but the portal closed. Red lights flashed as the agents, a taller blonde agent, and one of the priest clones aimed their guns at the note. “Demon sighting, do not cross” police tape was hung every which way. The cherubs, wounded from battle, also hovered by the agents. Blitzo tapped Cletus on his back with a finger and handed him a note through the portal. As Blitzo vanished, Cletus red his scribbled note: “Cherub” followed inside by “Fuck you guys! Sorry not sorry!” with a Blitzo drawing giving them middle fingers. Cletus glared in response.

0 0 0

Blitzo briefly opened up the invitation again before closing it and putting his hands on the steering wheel.

“Alright, and now onto the exes.” He pulled down the clutch and straightened up the overhead mirror, revealing his worried eyes. “Who are aaall in one place.” He sighed. “Yay.”

He rubbed the yellow Asmodean crystal on his left wrist and pink diamonds of energy appeared. A pink diamond portal shimmered to life and the I.M.P. van roared through it, tumbling to a stop and crushing a jack-o-lantern with a witches’ hat to green goo.

Over a green forest in the background, the sky was dark blue and slightly teal, dotted with stars and a full moon. Trick-or-treaters were out in a variety of costumes near decorated houses. One house had a fake dead body cutout with two nearby cones that were put on display on a lower slanted roof. The windows of the houses were decorated with spiderwebs and smiling jack-o-lanterns glowed in the night. Strings of lights blinked from the houses and toilet paper hanging on trees swayed in the wind. An RIP headstone was propped up on one lawn. A noose hung from another house.

Blitzo’s van came to a stop, startling a kid in a white clown costume and another kid holding a bottle and wearing a red devil mask with an upside-down black cross on the forehead. His regular face revealed slightly dark skin and short black hair. He had fake fangs in his mouth.

Blitzo rolled down his window as the kid with the devil mask approached. “Hey buddy, you know where 666 South Maple Avenue might be?”

The kid grinned and pointed. “Down that way, demon dude! Sick costume, bruh.” He waved a fist and spun a finger in approval. He then glanced as an elderly man approached. He wore yellow glasses, a spiky collar, black and white underwear and thin black straps. He put a hand on the kid and looked at Blitzo.

“Hey, Happy Halloween!” The grandpa then pointed. “Oh, looks like you missed some makeup there.”

Blitzo spoke sarcastically. “Thaaanks. It’s my face.”

Blitzo drove by a house decorated with a bloodied scythe, a witches’ broom, drinks on a bale of hay, a giant spider, a standing ghost, and a wizard hat on the roof.

0 0 0

“YOU’RE INVITED!!”  “Has Blitzo broken your fucking heart? Do you desire revenge and Halloween fun? Come on over to our Halloween party in the human world (located at 666 South Maple Avenue) for closure and to indulge in our shared hatred for that miserable fuckboy. Enjoy Blitzo body cake, Beelzejuice drinks, music and fun! Also featuring yours truly in concert! Hope to see you there. Verosika Mayday.”

Verosika handed out invitations to her anti-Blitzo party. Incubi and succubi flew off through the Lust Ring, handing out the invites or posting them online for more demons to see. Several succubi and incubi grinned with excitement and started to plan their Halloween costumes.

“I’m so gonna be a mermaid this year!”

“I’m thinking…high school cheerleader!”

“Haha! Witch, please!”

“How about…an angel. The goofy kind, not, you know…”

“That’s a great idea! There’s a spider shopkeeper that sells great sex toys, I bet he could weave up some outfits for us!”

“Me and my brother will make the Blitzo voodoo dolls! My mom’s side of the family comes from Envy.”

“You wanna come with us, too?”

“Nah. I much prefer Hell’s Halloween tradition of surprise-attacking the weaker ones and trick-or-treating for hearts and guts!”

“Your loss, buddy!”

“Hey, Ver,” said a succubus band member. “Where will it be at?”

“Me and my crew have been searching the mortal world and we found this nice mansion on a hill near a forest. The people are out for the night, so thankfully there will be no intervention needed. We got our Asmodean crystals ready for the portal. It begins after sundown.”

“I hear it’s a full moon, too! Extra spooky and special!”

“Hey, Verosika, girl! Great to hear from you! A party in the human world, very unique! I’ll send over some Beelzejuice for you, on the house!”

“Thanks, Bee! I think me and my crew have the perfect idea for the cake, hahahaha!”

“I’ll see you soon, Ver. The band equipment is working, and the stage will soon be set up.”

“Thanks, Tex, I know I can always count on you!”

The invitations spread far and wide throughout the Rings. Several goat demons with candles on their heads peered at theirs with curiosity from the Sloth Ring. Hellhounds from Gluttony howled in excitement and gathered bags of candy and alcoholic drinks.

In the Wrath Ring, a group of muscular imps laughed while sitting in a wooden tavern.

“Check it out, man,” one of them said, holding up an invite. “A Halloween party in the mortal world! Let’s go!”

“Can’t wait to swing my fists at some Blitzo targets,” another chimed in. The scrawny imp Dennis walked with a group of imps with their invites. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew Dennis’ invitation from his hands.

“Way to go, Dennis,” one of them rolled his eyes. “You just lost your invite!”

“You suck, Dennis,” added the other. Dennis flinched with a sad look on his face.

0 0 0

Blitzo spotted a mansion in the distance up on a hill with two moving pink spotlights. He pulled up to the front. The mansion was made of stones and had several pink tinted windows. Spiderwebs laced the roofs, and five bats dotted the windows. Jack-o-lanterns, headstones and alcohol bottles lined the lawn. Orange strings of lights looped over the bushes near the van.

Blitzo got out, sighing deeply and lowering his head as he snuck inside. The candles lining the steps glowed eerily as he went in.

Up on the ceiling, torn red banners gave the place a haunted house feel. Strings of lights dotted red and purple crisscrossed near the wooden beams and ceiling. Round lights and pink spotlights danced in time with Halloween party music being played. Spotlights blinked from pink, to teal, to orange as disco balls spun around. Neon ghosts with “Boo!” near them in a thought bubble were on display on the walls above. Headstones on a table read “RIP this dip,” and “Here lies dip.” Torn streamers hung like curtains in the open doorways.

It looked like any ordinary Halloween party, but with several differences. An array of demons danced and drank and chatted naturally in their casual clothing. Imps, incubi, succubi, Sloth Ring goats, hellhounds, and many other types were all together in the space. Several demons wore costumes of their own: an angel, a dinosaur, a white dress, and a cheerleader.

The decorations exemplified the crowds’ hatred for Blitzo ruining their lives in various stages. Hanging paper pumpkins read “Fuck Blitzo,” and a pinata was shaped like a dead Blitzo with xs on his eyes and a noose around its neck. “BLITZO, MORE LIKE SHITZO” was painted on the walls in neon green. In more neon green paint was a Blitzo with xs for eye and a knife in his forehead. “Smells like piss,” “c*nt,” and “loser,” were written next to it. Broken hearts with arrows were also on a wall near broken mirrors.

Several demons wore shirts and jackets that read “I H8 Blitzo,” “Fuck Blitzo,” and “Blitzo, Kill Yourself,” “Die Blitzo Die,””Blitzo sucks ass,” “F U Blitzo,” “Shitzo,” and “Blitzo Hater.” A large neon broken heart glowed from upstairs.

Stolas strolled carefully through the crowd, hearing distant screaming and glass breaking. Once again, the lonely owl felt out of place at another party. He walked toward a wall where two succubi were making out. On the wall was a cardboard target of a dead Blitzo with xs for the eyes and an ax and a knife in it.

Stolas sighed and poured himself a drink into a red cup. The bottle had a wailing ghost on it.

“The one day a year the spirits can rise amongst the living and it’s spent celebrating mutual pettiness.”

“Uh, what?” barked an incubus dressed like a sailor. He had a Blitzo head treat on his fork and an anchor tattoo.

Stolas chuckled nervously. “Oh! Nothing! I was talking to myself.”

“Cool, man, I wish I was you,” he drawled sarcastically before walking away.

Stolas sighed and gulped down his drink. The horned and winged shadows of demons swayed in the changing light. Stolas folded his arms and leaned against the wall.

Verosika Mayday swayed happily though the crowd, holding a bottle of honey-like Beelzejuice alcohol from Beelzebub, the partying ruler of the Gluttony Ring. Verosika wore long torn white pants with a crossed out pink heart on them. She had a short black top that exposed part of her breasts in an oval cut in the middle. She wore a spiky collar, a spiky black belt, fingerless gloves, and high heel black boots with pink xs on them. A red heart tattoo with Blitzo’s name on it had a black X over it on her arm. She had her long white hair in a thick ponytail, her pink heart tail, and pink horns with black stars on them. Small black heart tattoos dotted her cheek and belly button.

She took a swig of her drink. She then glanced over.

“Helllooo freshest ex! Stolas!”

She happily walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Stolas stood agape.

“How’re you doing, baby, you holding up okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Stolas replied. “I felt it rude not to stop by. I don’t get invited out much, but I really shouldn’t stay long.”

“Well, I’m glad you could make it, honey,” Verosika smiled, as they clinked their cups together. Verosika gulped down her drink as Stolas watched the demons dancing. One demon wearing a blue suit held up a voodoo doll of Blitzo and another demon stabbed it with a knife.

“Well, this certainly beats the last Earth party I attended on Hallows Eve,” said Stolas.

Stolas remembered a dark cult on Earth of a dozen men in black hoods. They had tied up and blindfolded a shaking man with short blonde hair and no clothes on. He was bound by his wrists to a cross-shaped stone slab as candles lit the space.

The leader ominously raised a bloodstained black ritual dagger as Stolas’ sigil glowed orange on the wall. “All hail the demon Prince Stolas!”

Stolas held a cup in his hand and appeared bored. “I was told there would be cake?” Stolas began. Blood splattered onto his face as the leader stabbed the man and the members droned, “All hail, all hail!”

Stolas still shuddered at the memory. He took another gulp of his drink when Verosika put a hand on his shoulder, smirking evilly.

“Speaking of cake, you wanna slice it?!”

She pulled Stolas over to the prized food of the party.

“Ohhh…erugh,” Stolas muttered in utter disgust. The cake was shaped like Blitzo’s dead body, with a bloodstained ax in his forehead and five arrows in his chest. A spike jutted through his arm and his eyes were xs, a tongue out. Black frosting appeared like black demon blood.

“I like to start at the neck,” Verosika whispered sinisterly, holding a knife. She hovered over the cake. “Or the dick.”

“Euurgh,” Stolas flinched.

“You’re right,” said Verosika. “Nobody wants his dick, anyway.”

She stabbed the cake crotch area rapidly like a psychotic Psycho killer.

“I-I think I’m content without slicing any of it,” Stolas stuttered, disturbed.

Verosika turned to him with open arms. “Well, live it up, baby, you are with friends here.” She raised her knife proudly. “Fuck Blitzo in the fucking ass!” The crowd cheered and raised their fists.

Verosika shrieked and laughed manically as she sliced the cake neck with her knife and put the Blitzo head onto her plate. Stolas noted all the drinks on the table near the cake, with a note that said, “Have fun! – Bee,” from Beelzebub. Three wailing neon ghosts had “Boo!” in a thought bubble above them. He also spotted real red bloodstains on the white sheet covering the table. Stolas spotted a pink incubus decorating another tablecloth with the fresh blood of a bird. Flies buzzed around a pile of dead birds outside.

“At least they aren’t hunting humans,” Stolas thought. Two incubi ripped oven a pinata shaped like Blitzo in the background, one of them holding up the top half in delight. A female imp dressed like a black cat held up a Blitzo doll hanging from a noose. A horned demon with crazed eyes wearing a “fuck Blitzo” shirt, a police hat and skeleton leggings and fingerless gloves sat on a couch hammering nails into the crotch of another Blitzo voodoo doll.

Blitzo walked through the crowd, looking around nervously. “W-o-ow. Have I fucked this many people? Christ on a stick, I should start keeping count.”

He put his hands on his hips. He pushed by the succubus in the cheerleader outfit and a tall pink glaring incubus wearing a short red shirt and pants. Blitzo muttered half-assed apologies as he walked.

“Sorry for the comment I made at your sister’s wedding. Though she did deserve it, she’s a whore.”

“Sorry for fucking your mom, though I thought it was your dad.”

Blitzo flinched back as he spotted the pinata of him hanging from a noose by the table of drinks. Feeling self-conscious, he raced over and pulled the bloodstained white sheet off the table. Drinks splattered and clattered to the floor as he wrapped himself in his ghost-like disguise.

“HEY!” yelled a unicorn demon wearing a purple skirt with a star on it and a shirt with an eye on it. She held a bottle in her hands.

“He did it,” Blitzo called, pointing to a skinny scrawny imp with white curly hair, a dark blue beanie cap, blue pants and a short black tuxedo shirt. He flinched while holding a cup in his hands.

The unicorn glared at the imp. “Way to go, Dennis, you fucking suck.”

“Yeah, you suck, Dennis!” added a male shirtless incubus.

Thankful for the distraction, Blitzo pushed open a sliding door. Above him was a red banner that read “Fuck you, Blitzo!” with an icon of him with a knife in his forehead. There was a row of flags with pink broken hearts on them and another “Fuck Blitzo” next to a streamer of bats, skulls, pumpkins and ghosts.

Blitzo glanced left and right, a jack-o-lantern with a phallus carving next to him. Two female hellhounds were talking together. An incubus dressed as a skeleton stood next to another incubus dressed as Beatlejuice.

Blitzo popped up among a crowd of demons gathered outside. Several demons held a torn purple flag on a stick with his icon crossed out. A red goat with wings, a candle on his forehead and a 69 shirt was throwing darts at a paper drawing of a dead Blitzo. The drawing had “U suk!” “F u Blitzo!” and “Here,” with red arrows pointing to his crotch area. The goat landed a dart at the crotch target and the crowd cheered. A yellow goat with a snake tail and a teal candle wore a “Blitzo sucks ass” shirt. A tall succubus with a witch hat, a short black skirt and tall black boots burned a life-like Blitzo plushie tied at the stake. More cheering.

Verosika shrieked and laughed manically, holding a microphone as Stolas stood with uncertainty in the crowd.

“Oh shit,” Blitzo ducked.

Next to Verosika on a stage was her dark gray muscular hellhound bodyguard Vortex. His arms were folded, left eye blind with a scar on it, and wore torn black clothing. A black roaring hellhound tattoo was on his left arm. Among spotlights and strings of lights were red curtains with grinning pumpkins on them and “BLITZO SUCKS” in yellow letters. Verosika grinned.

“Now, it’s time to hear from the special new guest of honor of the night, Stolaaas! Get up here and say a few words!”

The spotlight shone on Stolas, who choked on his purple drink.

Behind Stolas was a pink succubus wearing a white shirt, short shorts and a French-style hat. The other was a female imp wearing sunglasses, white leggings and a white dress with the upside-down hospital cross logo from the Sloth Ring.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, I’m not really, um, heheh…” Stolas protested as the two smiling demon women pushed him onto the stage.

“Uh, I really shouldn’t, I…” Stolas flinched as the spotlight was on him on stage.

Verosika stood beside him. “Tell us all about your experience with Blitzo. That cock-sucking motherfucker!” She put a hand on his shoulder. “C’mon, baby, speak from your heart. We all here know how you feel.”

Stolas stuttered, sweat dripping down his feathered face as he took the microphone. “Um. Oh, ahahaha, um…”

Several demons looked at him: a pink succubus wearing a magenta magicians’ outfit, a succubus with a green mermaid outfit, a fat hairy imp, an incubus wearing a light blue shirt that revealed his chest, a heavy-set succubus wearing black, an incubus with long purple hair, a yellow star on his cheek and a shirt that said, “The Josh hates Blitzo.” A pink spotlight shone on Stolas.

Stolas took a deep breath and began his song. (“The Motherfucker”)

“I let you get too close

I let it go too far

Now I know, now I know

Now I know exactly what you are.”

Verosika and Vortex stood on either side of Stolas, Verosika to his right, Vortex to his left, harmonizing with him.

Verosika and Vortex chorused, “Na-na-na, na na, na, a motherfucker. Na-na-na, na na, na, a motherfucker.”

Behind Stolas were incubi and succubi band members. One was a female with long black hair wearing a black “stand in” shirt, strumming a guitar, wearing black upside-down cross earrings. A muscular incubus wore a torn gray sleeveless jacket and a black collar with an upside down cross. He strummed a black guitar shaped like a black hellhound mouth. A gray hellhound played a set of drums with a pink hellhound roaring mouth on the front.

Stolas continued.

“I don’t think you meant to hurt me

‘Cause I don’t think it meant a thing at all.”

They all harmonized, “At all, at all, at all…At all, at all, at all…”

A sad Blitzo pushed his way to the front of the audience.

“At all, at all, to you,” sang Stolas.

“Na-na-na, na na, na, a motherfucker. Na-na-na, na na, na, a motherfucker,” added Verosika and Vortex.

Stolas imagined himself back in his mansion, on a stage with purple constellations and a purple sky.

“I let it go too long

I let you go too deep

Now I know, now I know,

Now I know there’s one thing I can’t keep.”

Stolas posed dramatically on a stage with moving cardboard representations of waves, clouds, a moving sun, a moving moon and glowing stars.

“But I, I keep on waiting

Waiting to want you less than I do

And I do, oh, I do, yes I still do want you.”

Stolas flew upside down, reaching out to touch Blitzo’s smiling face in a shard of glass. Blitzo’s features appeared in several mirrors around Stolas.

“But maybe it’s all on me

For missing every sign and every glance and every turn.”

Stolas reached out and flinched when a Blitzo folded his arms and scowled at him. He reached again, but a second Blitzo growled and scowled again.

Vortex and Verosika appeared in other mirrors behind him, waving fingers.

“No, no, no, he’s a motherfucker…”

Stolas continued.

“Maybe there’s something here for us to glean

For you to teach and me to try and learn…”

Stolas placed a hand on another smiling Blitzo, the mirror cracking where he placed his hand. Soon the mirror shattered along with all the other ones.

“No, no, no, he’s a motherfucker,” added Vortex and Verosika again.

“’Cause I am not a thief, but you were mine to earn,” sang Stolas, glancing around anxiously.

“What if I came on too strong?

What if I read this all wrong?

What if we just don’t belong?

All this what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if…”

Scenes of Stolas and Blitzo together flashed through the broken shards around him.

“Why, why, why, why, why, why makes me BURN!”

An emotional Stolas briefly transformed into a purple fiery version of his owl demon form. The present stage appeared again.

“Oh, I don’t think you meant to hurt me

‘Cause I don’t think it meant a thing at all!”

“Well, did it?” asked Vortex and Verosika in song.

“No, not at all,” cried Stolas.

“Didn’t mean a goddamn thing,” sang Verosika and Vortex.

“At all, at all, at all…at all…” sang all three.

“Didn’t mean a, didn’t mean a,” added the demon band.

“At all, at all, at all…at all…”

“Didn’t mean a, didn’t mean a…”

“At all, at all to you,” sang Stolas.

Blitzo’s mouth trembled from under the tablecloth. He was now realizing the impact of how he had hurt Stolas.

The incubi and succubi happily waved glowsticks in the air as they swayed to the music.

They all sang,

“Na-na-na, na na, na, the motherfucker. Na-na-na, na na, na, the motherfucker,”

“Na-na-na, na na, na, the motherfucker. Na-na-na, na na, na, the motherfucker,”

“Na-na-na, na na, na, the motherfucker. Na-na-na, na na, na, the motherfucker,”

A brief flash appeared of a child Blitzo and Stolas running together before the scene cracked in half, showing a darker version of an adult Stolas and Blitzo letting go of their hands and breaking up. A broken heart glowing on Blitzo’s forehead as he stomped away, and Stolas sadly looking away into the dark red background…

“The motherfucker…” Stolas whispered with a sad crack in his voice as Blitzo’s eyes filled with tears.

“Thank you for your time,” Stolas said with a bow. The crowd cheered and applauded as he left the stage. Vortex howled in approval.

Verosika then stood on stage, a pink spotlight on her and began her own song. (“Over You”)

“Ever since you went away

I’ve been haunted, haunted

I always get whatever I want

And I wanted, I wanted you.”

Verosika recalled Blitzo and her sitting in a hot tub together, kissing and holding each other close. She remembered saying “I love you” and Blitzo looking shocked.

“So now I’m drawin’ circles in the sand

Try’na understand how you do the things you do.”

She recalled her and Blitzo doing tours together, her singing on stage, him helping to promote her merchandise.

“Baby, I’m not over it

But I’m over you

I’m over you, you, you

Baby, I’m not over it

But I’m over you

I’m over you, you, you.”

She remembered her and Blitzo sighing and lying in bed together at the motel. She woke up in the morning and found her car and credit card gone. She raced out the window, only to see Blitzo speed away.

“Sometimes it still hurts a bit

Sometimes I’m so full of shit

But this much is true

Baby, I’m not over it

I’m over you, you, you.”

Verosika remembered being humiliated by Blitzo and the gang during the Spring break tour on Earth. Being forced to pleasure Earth men in prison before Asmodeus got them back to Hell through his portal.

“I thought I could stomp you out

Like a fire, like a flame

It’s done but now I’m covered in ashes.”

Verosika imagined herself covered in ashes on her knees with fallen phoenix wings, Blitzo with fiery wings flying away in the air.

“And I still feel the same (I still feel the same)

I guess if I get rid of every sign of what we ever did

There’d be no one left to blame!”

Another memory of her and Blitzo doing a selfie at a club, her wearing a dark sparkly dress. Another flash of her mocking Blitzo during her song at Ozzie’s.

“Baby, I’m not over it

I’m over you

I’m over you

“Yeah, I try to look ahead

Sometimes I look back instead

Think I always knew, oh

Baby, I’ll get over it

I got over you.”

She took a breath and imagined her and Blitzo drifting apart, but peacefully. His image slowly faded until she only saw herself again. She saw the faces of everyone who cared about her: Vortex and her band crew.

“I got over you

I got over you

I got over you

I got over you.”

The crowd applauded.

Blitzo felt doubly guilty, and he trembled some more. Now he felt he had two big apologies to make.

He figured he’d start with Stolas first. He was tempted to hide in a corner for the rest of the night, but there was no backing down now.

“Alrighty, bitches, let’s get wild!” cheered Verosika as the audience applauded once again.

Blitzo sighed sadly and walked back into the building. He spotted Stolas guzzling down a drink from a golden bottle with a black hellhound icon on it.

“Hey.”

Stolas spat out his drink, coughing and gagging before turning around. “Blitz?!” He spoke in a drunken stupor. “What are you doing here? You’re lucky everyone is drunk, or you would be murdered right now.”

“Ah no it’s good, I’m in a disguise,” Blitzo said. Stolas pulled the tablecloth over Blitzo’s head and led him through the crowd. A poster upstairs with a broken heart read, “Blitzo break your fucking heart? Call here for compensation at 1800- FU-BLITZO.”

“Wow,” Blitzo looked in concern as Stolas continued drinking. “I’ve never seen you throw ‘em back like this.”

Stolas swayed against a doorframe. “Came just to judge me, is that it?”

“No, I just…this was the final stop on the apology tour I’ve been on today.”

“Oh yes, I recall,” Stolas deadpanned, shaking his bottle. “Everyone but me is getting your cheap apologies tonight, hm? Well, you certainly have your work cut out for you!” Stolas snatched a cup from a pink demon dressed like a mummy and gulped it down.

On a small couch sat an imp dressed as a pirate wearing sunglasses that read “FUK-YOU” in purple letters. On another couch, a female Sloth Ring demon with a candle on her forehead and glasses on her face, sucked in a green vapor drug from a long beaker.

“Look, how I acted this morning…” Blitzo began, “It was fucked, okay?”

“This morning?” Stolas asked. “Ugh, why did you show up there? Why’d you show up here?”

Stolas collapsed backwards and Blitzo caught him.

“You already asked that,” Blitzo muttered. “But look, I-I just really need to…to talk to you, to explain…”

“Oh?”

Blitzo sighed. “I’ve always been real shit at sorries, kay? They’re for pussies and no one fucking deserves them anyway.”

“Sounds like something Cash Buckzo would say…”

“Enough about my father, already!” Blitzo snapped, before taking a breath. “But I…I felt like maybe you actually needed one.”

“Oh, lucky mee!” Stolas sarcastically bellowed before falling to the ground. Blitzo helped him up and Stolas crawled to another chair.

“Oh shit, okay what I mean is…” Blitzo said, “I said sorry a lot today and honestly, didn’t really mean any of it. Because the only one I wanted to say it to…was you, Stols. I just…” he sighed again, “This whole thing we had going…” Blitzo turned away, tears beginning to form. “I mean you’re a fucking prince. I’m just an imp trying to get by. How could you ever actually care for an imp? Me. How could anybody?”

Stola peered up. “Blitz. There is a crowd full of people here, who cared so much…” he chuckled, “They threw an entire fucking party about hating you, every year! Do you know how much you have to care to do something as stupid as that?”

Blitzo closed his eyes in sadness. “Stolas, you are better off without me, kay? You deserve so much more. I don’t even know why you’d want to be with me.”

“You wanna know what I want?” Stolas asked. “I want to know what it’s like…to not be alone.” He glanced longingly at a pink female succubus dressed in yellow and black athletic clothes and a female demon with thick black hair laughing and pressed their faces close.

“I want to be someone’s someone. I want to feel wanted. But like, in a romantic way, like I’m standing out in the rain, at a train station and someone is shouting…”

Stolas stood up, “’Harriot! Don’t get on that train! It’s going to London and I cannot be without you!’”

The other demons glanced over.

Blitzo rolled his eyes. “Oh Stolas, that’s…a rom-com.”

“Oh, fuck you.” He sat back down. “The point is…I just, want someone to care if I stay or go. I want someone to want me. To want to see me. To hold me.”

Blitzo twiddled his fingers anxiously. He looked up at Stolas with wide yellow eyes of remorse as Stolas finished, “Look at me and think, ‘Well, you’re the only one I want.’”

A tear formed in the corner of Stolas’ red eye, and he buried his face in his hands. “‘I desire to hold you and talk to you, never let you feel so…’”

“Alone?” Blitzo whispered. He tentatively reached out a comforting shaking hand toward Stolas’ shoulder…

“You! Why are you here?” Stolas sobbed. “I don’t want you here, go home, please! Let me not feel so sad!”

Blitzo waited for Stolas to calm down. He wiped his eyes and took a breath.

“Hey,” said a male voice.

Blitzo and Stolas gasped. “Oh, heh. Hello,” Stolas sputtered. Down on one knee was a male incubus with white hair in bangs, an upside-down cross necklace and a white tank top shirt that read “Better than Blitzo.” He wore torn pants and a dog tag earring. A royal heart tattoo was on his left arm.

“Great song earlier. You have great pipes.”

“Thank you,” Stolas smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, he sings fantastic, we’re talking here,” an annoyed Blitzo waved a hand.

The incubus brushed back his hair and held out a hand. “Well, I just wanted to see if, maybe, I don’t know, you’d wanna…dance?”

Stolas’ eyes went wide. He’d never heard anyone talk so genuinely to him before. “You want to dance…with me?”

“Yeah,” he said, standing up.

Stolas glanced at Blitzo who paused. He then reluctantly put out a hand, allowing Stolas to go.

“Okay!” Stolas beamed, standing up and taking the incubus’ hands. They joined together with the crowd. Blitzo stood up and sadly watched Stolas and the incubus dancing and giggling together.

He then spotted Verosika moving somberly and gracefully up the stairs.

Blitzo sighed. He figured he’d make one more stop on his apology tour.

He followed Verosika up the stairs. She overlooked the crowd with a cigarette in her hand, standing near the large pink neon broken heart against the wall.

Taking a brave breath, Blitzo removed his hood.

“Hey, Ver.”

“So, an apology tour, huh?” she asked, still staring straight ahead. “You got a lot of balls coming here, Blitzo.”

“Yeah, I know, everyone here hates me.”

“Yep. That’s the point. Dumbass.”

“So what, you’re waiting for your sorry?” Blitzo smirked. He held his hands together mockingly. “Well, I’m sorry for always telling it like it is, sister.”

Verosika seethed. “Oh fuck you, you little prick.”

“What? I’m just being honest! I’m sorry for dumping ya! Sorry for not falling head over heals for you!” Blitzo mentioned down. “Or that guy! Or fucking Dennis! Or anyone at this STUPID FUCKING PARTY!”

“Oh, you are so fucking shitty!” Verosika remarked with a forced laugh. “Do you hear yourself?”

Blitzo turned around to face her. “Everyone’s shitty! Hello? We live in Hell! Why am I all of a sudden the bad guy just because I suck at relationships?”

“Are you expecting…sympathy?” Verosika flicked her cigarette away. She spoke in a mocking voice, “Aww poor Bwitz, finalwwy having to own that his actions affect other people’s fee fees.” She scoffed, “Bitch, please,” before turning to lean against the barrier.

Verosika scowled. “How do you think I felt? When the fun guy I was dating decided to just…bail on me because I make the shitty mistake of saying, ‘I love you?’ Ugh! It was the most embarrassing feeling. To be vulnerable for once and have you leave me behind at a motel, stealing my car and my credit card for your shitty horse-riding lessons…all to hide your stupid fear of intimacy!”

She glared. “Oh, Blitzo, you really know how to send a message in the shittiest fucking way…”

Blitzo slid down the banister, guilt on his face.

Verosika kicked a pole away, allowing herself to sit next to Blitzo, legs dangling.

“No snarky comeback?” she asked.

“No,” Blitzo said, regret on his face. “You’re right. I actually am, you know, sorry. I-I don’t wanna be this way. Not forever.”

Verosika looked thoughtful, then smirked as she looked down. “Looks like Stolas is having a good time.”

“Yeah, well he needs it.”

Stolas danced with the incubus who leaped up happily in the air. Before long, they both started making out and moaning, their two long tongues intertwining.

Blitzo froze with shocked wide eyes.

Verosika smirked wider. “Ooh, a really good time!”

Blitzo fumed, “OH THAT BIRD-STEALING COCKBAG!”

“Hold it, Blitz,” said Verosika, “You know, if you wanna change, it just starts with saying, ‘good for him, hope he gets laid.’” Blitzo angrily gripped the bars of the railing, feeling trapped, exhausted, and heartbroken.

Blitzo then paused. “You…you said my name right…why?”

Verosika smirked. “No need to dwell on the past. Here, have some cake, fuckwad.”

She handed him his heart on a plate…a cake piece shaped like his heart with a fork in it, the black frosting spilling like blood. There was his wounded heart out in the open. He realized that the one who deserved to be at the party the most was…himself. His hidden self-loathing had been holding him back all along. It was as if Verosika was giving him his heart, reminding him to love himself first.

Verosika strolled away, feeling a new form of release from Blitzo.

Blitzo put down the uneaten piece, put his hood over his head and somberly walked back downstairs.

The succubus witch and the cheerleader succubus were dancing and laughing. Blitzo glanced to the side and spotted a purple incubus dressed as a vampire wiping his eyes in sadness before guzzling down a bottle of alcohol. A horned demon with thick black hair and a succubus ripped open the Blitzo pinata together, spilling candy onto the floor. They embraced and kissed near a “Halloween is skeleton” poster with a witch on it. The demon dressed like Beatlejuice was comforting a crying demon after he tossed a knife at the Blitzo cardboard cutout on the wall.

Blitzo glanced one last time at Stolas dancing with the “better than Blitzo” incubus. Stolas looked happier than he had ever seen him. “Maybe this is for the best,” he thought. “Stolas deserves it more than me.”

Blitzo lowered his head in sadness before heading out the door. He walked down the candle-lit stairs, passing by an incubus dressed as a sailor talking with another incubus. Near a female imp dressed as a black cat, Wally Wackford was selling t-shirts labeled “I H8 Blitzo,” and “Blitzo KYS” with a crying Blitzo emoji. He wore a hat with a dead Blitzo face on it. An imp in a black shirt happily pulled out some dollar bills.

Blitzo, angry and hurt, got back into his van, tossing aside the sheet. He turned on the radio and a Verosika song played: “I’m Over You.” Blitzo banged his head on the car horn in frustration, the honking sound echoing through the night.