#the vile squad is here

[lover-of-mine]

not sure if my ask sent BUT I’m loving people being vocal about the fandom not caring about eddie outside of buddie. it’s been happening since the dawn of time (lol) and there’s a reason so many vocalists about eddie decided to be loud and obnoxious about it (including yours truly). his journey is nuanced and he’s such a good character to explore a straight-maybe to bucksexual love with but it will take TIME for anything to happen because of that journey. still. you said eddie rights and i love that.

This is the only ask I got from you, so it probably got lost in the blue void if you sent something else. But absolutely, something I noticed during the hiatus, because while I have been lurking around the fandom since season 5, I only really started to actively post thoughts and stuff after the lightning, so I spent a really long time observing people even more when I started posting random metas, or just thoughts, people have this almost pathological need to make everything about Eddie about Buck. I legit remember making a post about Shannon and blocking several people because they kept making what happened with Shannon about Buck, and that's not it. Eddie is a FASCINATING character. He is so nuanced. And he is so well written and acted out. Like, I was casual about the show until fear-o-phobia (tbf that was the 3rd episode I watched live but still). Eddie grabbed me by the throat that day. And there's so much that people give Buck a pass that they would NEVER give to Eddie. And there's so much to explore with him. And yeah, I think his queer journey will involve Buck somehow, but because I truly believe that man is demi and I don't care about anything else. Making him have a complicated relationship with attraction as a whole is so much more interesting than saying he's just looking for a beard his whole life. And the amount of people I saw picking fights about people not shipping Buck and Tommy because "they have this need that Eddie should be the only man for Buck" (when literally everyone in the fandom hc Buck 1.0 as having slept with guys too) that are people I had seen saying that Eddie only ever loved Buck, straight up erasing the whole concept that he might've been in love with his wife is wild. If Eddie is not adding something to Buck and this idea that Buck is this baby that needs to be protected and can do no wrong, then he is being unnecessary or ooc or just plain weird and THAT'S WILD. Sure Buck and Eddie have a compelling relationship, and I LOVE exploring the possibilities around how much Eddie loves Buck, but Eddie exists for more than loving Buck and both of them exist outside of each other. Honestly, right now, Eddie needs some defenders because it's rough out here. If people can pick fights about Buck the way they do, Imma do the same about Eddie. If people don't agree then that's their problem.

[deadsetobsessions]

Just a funny thought where the Suicide Squad gang want Vlad Masters/Plasmius stay away from Danny Phantom cause they want to be his enemies instead (Sorry for the OOC):

Vlad: Explain this, Danny Phantom. what are they doing here?

Deadshot. We're here for the same reason you are, Plasmius. We were invited as well. And to ensure that you do not steal my enemy away, vile demon.

Captain Boomerang: Your enemy? Might I remind you that I was the only one amongst us who has actually defeated him?

Harley Quinn: Yes but you also lost against him! Then right after you spent weeks in your 'prison'! I fought him instead. Danny boy doesn't need such a weak villain like you as his enemy, Boomer!

Killer Croc: ME TOO!!!

Rick Flag: Is this really the time or place to be discussing this?

Enchantress: You all seem to keep forgetting that Phantom has already defeated me. He's my enemy.

Vlad: E-enemy!?

this is fucking hilarious, thank you for bringing this to my inbox frfr

i need a sitcom about the rogues fighting for custody of the arch-nemesis title

danny, being in that sitcom just going "yeah it's concerning but like they've been harassing each other and it's honestly made my life a whole lot easier lately. the truth is I don't have an arch-nemesis because I take care of all of my villains"

Danny is letting them have enrichment time (fighting each other) and instilling healthy coping mechanisms (fighting each other instead of bombing the entire city)

[candyswirls]

Space Marine Cuddle Pile PT 2

Continuation of this. PT 3.

@wolf-feathers12 you owe me fifty cookies and I’m gluten free

Imagine:

Titus is not quite new anymore to the watch. He’s slowly opening up to his squad mates but still is apprehensive. The mission has been a success and his squad wants to celebrate. They worked well together. But Titus does not wish to participate. He is bitter and mournful. News that the Primarch, Roboute Guilliman, had returned came through a few days ago. He was overjoyed at hearing that. But he doesn’t get to celebrate. Not when he’s dishonored his chapter. Not when he’s a black shield. Not when he can’t celebrate with his brothers. Before he can go to the training cages, a squad mate pulls him back, not taking no for an answer. He may have not told them his chapter and was using another name but they can tell how hard the last few days have been. Rather than celebrating they all huddle together, one with another. They miss each of their chapters and brothers. But they can find comfort in one another. It’s a moment of reprieve for the ex-captain’s broken heart.

As an Emperors’ children you are far more prone to cuddling than one might think. You were always underestimated. Many scoffed at your legion and chalked you up to pompous and egotistical men. Some of that was true but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Even more hurtful was the rejection of your Primarch. He didn’t want you or your brothers. He would not lead. You all were so desperate that some followed his clone when he showed up. You’re all scattered and trying what you can to make Fulgrim proud and have him return. Sometimes the rejection hurts so much you’ll curl up together in a pile. Pretending the weight is your Primarch, welcoming you back and saying that you’ve done well. That you’re worthy of his love. Those who are a part of war bands tend to be flock to bigger Astartes. Craving large and warm arms to wrap around you and say it’s okay. You’re not useless or worthless. You’re not an object or disposable.

Little known fact about Iron Warriors. You will cuddle anyone but your own legion. You’re so touch starved and refuse to ask for it due to how the chapter is. Cuddling your brothers? Revolting. Your Primarch won’t do it. Cold and refusing to show any weakness. But the minute any other traitor Astartes wants to start a pile or even a daemon or cultist request a hug, you’re there. You will not say anything and you’re definitely not saying no. You will just join in. If you see a cuddle pile you won’t ask, you’re suddenly in the middle. Emperor’s Children tend to like Iron Warrior’s for this reason. Might as well write “Free Hugs” on the back of their armor.

Newly joined Blood Angels feeling the psychic wound of their genefathers death. The looming of the red thirst and the chance of falling to the black rage. Their new brothers hold them in a large mass. Safe and warm to let them know that they’re not alone. They all feel the pain. They all mourn their father and fallen brethren. They all share it. So they share their hugs and affection.

Black Templars having massive sermons where the chaplain gets emotional and they all hold one another as they recite prayers. Hold each other up. Being strong like Dorn. Their Primarch isn’t here but they are here for each other.

Night Lords will cram themselves into dark and tight places to hide, entangled in each other’s arms. Their Primarch was mad and didn’t care for them. They have to care for each other. Everything they do is vile and violent. Except for this. Ever so gentle touches, protective embraces, the most tender of running hands through hair, gentle head butting. They are one of the most affectionate legions but only with each other. Silent as they relish in each other’s deep rooted sadness and hatred for themselves and solace of being with one another.

Lorgar finally has a moment of silence as the word bearers are escorted away from Monarchia by the Ultramarines. The emperor’s wrath had been fierce. He ends up dropping to his knees and pulling his closest son into an embrace. The others around him move forward without thinking. He pulls so many into his arms, has them laying their heads on his shoulders and back. Pressing their cheeks and foreheads to his own as he cries prayers he wrote. They were innocent! Loyal to him! He had done this for him! All that work! It was a gift! A tribute! He just burned it away! Killed them all. Rejected it. He’s in so much pain and anger but having his sons close eases it a bit.

Magnus clings to his sons. They don’t react as dust swirls within the armor. Foolish stupid Ahriman. He had managed to save the remaining few and bring them into the warp. Relieved that they all weren’t dead. This seemed worse though. He presses a kiss to the top of one’s helmet, praying that there’s some bit of conscious in there. Those that were unaffected are huddled behind him as his new wings caress them.

He wasn’t very affectionate. Mortarion had grown up shying away from it and he rarely indulged in cuddle piles. But after so many had died from horrid plagues and sicknesses, he had to pledge himself to Nurgle. It didn’t matter though. His sons were saved and himself. He had sat himself on the ground and big then to come forth. Some were nuzzled into his side, a few rested their heads on his torso. He was surrounded by his sons. Safe. He didn’t care what it had taken or what would happen next.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Gerald Robotnik

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

You may not know this, but Jim Carrey is actually really good at playing villains. Like, it’s a pretty obscure fact about his career. So obscure that despite him playing at least three of the funniest villains I’d ever seen growing up, I completely forgot about them when I did the Psycho Analysis for Ivo Robotnik back when the original Sonic film dropped.

But now I know better. The Grinch, Count Olaf, the Riddler… Carrey is a master of playing cartoonish creeps. And Ivo Robotnik has proved to be the best and most fun of all his villainous roles, evolving beyond the simple yet fun egomaniac scientist of the first film into something that hews far closer to what Sonic fans might expect from the world’s sexiest fat man AKA Dr. Eggman. In fact, Robotnik might be my favorite villain role of his, and one of my favorite villains of all time.

Now what if we doubled that?

Sonic the Hedgehog 3 went bigger and better than its predecessors, and considering it was introducing the most popular character in the Sonic franchise who isn’t the Blue Blur himself—Shadow—it kind of had to. And that meant giving us not one, but two Jim Carrey performances. In this movie, the typically posthumous Gerald Robotnik is alive and well and out to enact some revenge. It’s a pretty bold and different approach to the beloved story of this Sonic adventure… so how does it work out?

Motivation/Goals: Gerald Robotnik is motivated by revenge, much like in the games, though this time he’s around to pursue it himself. After what G.U.N. did to Maria, he wanted to completely dismantle and destroy them. But the thing is, his decades of stewing in his hate and rage made him a little cuckoo, and now his hate extends to not just G.U.N., but the entirety of the human race… as well as himself.

Performance: Jim Carrey had already perfected Ivo over two films, but I think there may have been a little worry he’d make Gerald too similar and ignore what made fans love him in the game. Of course, we needn’t have worried; not only is Gerald a distinct character from his grandson, he still manages to be a truly despicable human being, perhaps more vile than he’s ever been before. He’s still as wacky and ridiculous as Ivo, but unlike with Eggman he manages to drop the silly at just the right moments to make Gerald a genuinely threatening monster.

Final Fate: No firing squad for Gerald this time; no, his ending here is much more undignified, but also incredibly well-deserved and satisfying. After callously trying to send his grandson into the vacuum of space, Ivo surprises the old man with a super-charged Sonic quill into his ass which sends him flying through the air into the chaos energy. He then proceeds to be disintegrate with a little pop like a bug in a zapper.

Now, this may seem incredibly cartoonish and even ridiculous as a way to defeat such a villain… But read the rest of this analysis to see just how disturbingly vile Gerald ends up being. I think this truly absurd and cartoonish death is exactly what the movie needed to do to rerail things and keep it from going way too dark. And, if you think about it, his death is still colossally fucked up, particularly because Tails seems a little too chipper about committing murder.

Evilness: For most of the movie, he seems like he’ll end up being like… a 6 or 7/10, like clearly a bad guy but one with an understandable motive that you can root for. G.U.N. do not come out of this film smelling like roses, and when you see the full extent of what they did to Shadow it’s hard not to root against them.

But then comes the third act. He reveals he wants to kill everyone and himself, he reveals he doesn’t give a shit what Maria would want because he’s so utterly consumed with misanthropy, and he drops the coldest line ever to reject his grandson… Yeah this guy is a 10/10. Maybe even a 10.5/10. He is genuinely fucking callous and vile and monstrous.

Best Scene: Without a doubt it’s the scene where he and Ivo dance through the lasers.

This scene is great for multiple reasons. The most obvious reason is that t’s an amazing example of the movies effects and how well it showcases the dual Jim Carrey performance. Like, this must’ve been a bitch and a half to make look convincing, especially with Ivo picking Gerald up and swinging him around. It’s amazingly well done, the choreography is great, and “Galvanize” by the Chemical Brothers kicks ass.

But it also works as a further highlighting of the character of Ivo, how he’s still desperately cramming in family fun now that he feels he has someone who cares about him… and it also makes the later reveal about Gerald sting all the more.

Best Quote: Remember that line in Frozen where Hans coldly reveals he’s a villain to Anna? Remember how it’s a stupid twist that doesn’t make sense, yet the line is one of the rawest in all of Disney’s canon? Imagine that except the twist actually works and is effective. That’s what Gerald gets:

“Oh, Ivo… You’re no Maria.”

This single line completely recontextualizes everything Gerald has done up until this point. Every single bit of fun and goofiness now comes off as deliberate manipulation of Ivo to help in his schemes. It also highlights just how single-minded and insane he’s become in his pursuit of revenge; here he has a living member of his family, someone who could fill the void Maria left, but he coldly rebuffs them because he is too consumed by his own hate and rage.

Final Thoughts & Score: I fucking love Gerald.

Jim Carrey really went above and beyond here (and considering they sent him the script in gold and let him play with himself on camera, why wouldn’t he?). He manages to make Gerald hilarious and goofy but also perfectly captures his grief, rage, and hatred when the third act hits. And that third act is genuinely impressive even when he gets into a scientifically-enhanced slap fight with his renegade grandson; just his eerily calm statement of his desire to commit murder-suicide with the entirety of the Earth, his callous brushing off of both his grandson and Maria’s desires, his flippant shrugging off of the worth of Shadow’s life when the hedgehog betrays him… It’s honestly shocking just how nasty Jim Carrey manages to be without completely dropping the inherent goofiness he brings to his roles. In fact, his goofiness just makes it more chilling when he drops the act and gets going.

Frankly it’s surprising just how much nuance there is in such a goofy role, how much can be read in to his actions. Like they really didn’t have to put so much work into the silly villain in the second sequel of a video game movie franchise, they could have easily half-assed Gerald or even just had him be posthumous to save themselves a lot of work. But they didn’t do that, they brought him in, managed to flesh him out and give him depth while still keeping him true to the core of the character, and they knocked him out of the park. Of course, Carrey’s amazing dual performance where he goes out of the way to interact with himself is a big plus too. The sheer spectacle is at least 50% of what makes Gerald so fun to watch.

All in all, Gerald is one of the greatest live-action family film antagonists ever seen, and he’s a big part as to why Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is so great. And best of all he continues to show that the human characters related to Eggman are the best in the franchise. Easily a 9.5/10 for me, with the .5 less than his grandson only because we get far less time with him since, you know, he fucking dies at the ends of this one and isn’t going to develop more. But the fact they manage to make him so well-rounded in just a single movie is worth a lot.

[anyaeras]

Moya litttle spider || N.Romanoff

Pairing || vampire Natasha Romanoff x AFAB reader

Warning || smut! ,, they/them pronouns ,, reader has a pussy ,, loss of virginity ,, innocent kink (kinda) ,,  possessive ,, a little manipulation ,, Russian usage 

Summary  || y/n was a vampire hunter in their village ,  ended up being fucked by the queen.

FYI || this is short and just smut plus I spent 20 min on it

Masterlist

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Y/n was a hunter, a human hunter at that, known for being ever so brave, the society was split between multiple species, vampires, being one of the dominating species. humans seemed to be on the lower end of the totem pole and would wallow in fear, cowering down to the enhanced.

Tonight was no different than most, y/n was out with the rest of the hunters in the community, their human town was small, but well-kept, and they did well making a system which became their way of living, a few selective people became hunters each person had a different reason for why they were a hunter, which was the most dangerous job, being a Hunter meant constantly putting your life on the line in order to protect your people, most despised the thought of anybody going through that, yet y/n had no one to care for them anyway, their parents were preoccupied, and they never made any friends, they lived as the "wanderer" inside their small town.

"Come on get your shit and let's go, we need to be quick" Kent called out, he was a tall and large man, he was in charge of the hunters for this community, yelling specifically at y/n, they hadn't meant to fall behind just it was a lot for someone their size to carry, that's what they get for being a hunter, shit they only even took this job to try and prove they were worth something to their parents, to show they were just as good as their brothers....

Running to keep up, already a few steps behind y/n was able to catch up to the rest of the squad.

"Draw your weapons" was ordered after a quick rumble with heard between the bushes. Y/n was fumbling with their bow, proceeding to just brush it off and go for a dagger, removing it from their leg holder. Yet in a flash it seemed something had pulled the weapon away. There y/n watched as the whole team ran, fleeing from the situation, leaving no help or communication with y/n, who out of absolute instant stumble back tripping over a long root, cause them to tumble to the ground, as the hunter was trying to pull themself together getting up to run following their group a lengthy hand was felt grasping their arm , panic set in quickly, now holding no weapons having no way to fight back, all y/n could do was try and run, yet due to the firm grasp it seemed the attempts were absolutely pointless, finally the creature who had a hold on y/n flip them around becoming face-to-face with a vampire...not just a vampire clearly a royal vampire.

"Aren't you a little small to be a hunter Дорогой" the red headed women who stood tall above y/n spoke down to them.

Y/n was in a pickle that was for damn sure, no place to run, the idea that this was the end and that this vile creature who stood before them whom might they add was extremely pretty for being a vampire....well what was y/n to compare it to it's not like they've met any other vampires, the only had any idea about them due to story's which have been told throughout the community....but that's besides the point.

"I am not, I am just as capable to be a hunter as any of those men" every small ounce of braveness was pulled from their body as they stood as tall as they possible could in front of the much larger women.

"Aren't you cute, well I'm sure you are just as strong as those big bad men, but maybe even braver they just took off and left you here for me, isn't that right Дорогой" the soft voice was taunting to the young hunter, yet there was nothing they could do about it, the vampire had moved closer one hand reached under y/n's jaw forcing them to look up at the vampire meeting eye to eye.

Y/n tried to pull away but was to no success, being held in a state with the vampire.

"You smell....devine" Natasha's raspy tone was echoing in y/n's head, yet it was quick when Natasha made a move, pushing her lips into y/n's which when y/n didn't entirely pull away a smirk was stuck to her Crimson lips.

"Don't tell me, you enjoy the big scary vampire kissing your lips? Mmm?" The tall vampire teased get a firm "never"' from the human, but that didn't stop her, moving her kisses lower finally to her delight a strangled moan slipped prompting Natasha to go on, something was drawing her to the human clearly going to keep the small being.

"Y/n tell me are you a virgin?" The supernatural asked stoping the sloppy kissed abruptly to ask, noticing y/n's heart race increase telling they were about to lie

"No, I-I'm not" y/n tried to keep a straight face and seem confident in the lie yet the tell tale signs would clearly give y/n away.

"Would you like to say the truth now? Or will I have to do it for you?" The vampire stated with almost a cold expression, which cause the humans cheeks to rush to a rosey shade, the long skinny hands of Natasha started to rome y/n'a body, slipping down into the waistline of their pants feeling the soft underwear material slightly damp causing the women to let out a small laugh.

"Wow for a human who came to kill me, you seen wildly turned on" the teasing only turned y/n's face an even darker shade of red, while Natasha fingers moved pushing past their panties to run her fingers between their folds, coating her cold long fingers in y/n's warm juices, the action caused a choked moan to slip out from them only leading Natasha to smirk.

"Look at you doing so well for your first Дорогой (darling) you will be such a good pet for me, you'll like the castle, it's so much better than the village you come from" Natasha's words went right past y/n, the new found feeling of pleaser overtook their thought process.

Slowly Natasha kept going enjoying how y/n was reacting, getting them hot and bothered while their cunt was just dripping, easily only one finger slipped into y/n, causing them to Yelp at this brand new feeling

"My oh my y/n tell me doesn't that feel good, letting me play with your virgin cunt, you seemed to be enjoying it" Natasha pushed on thrusting the one finger in and out before adding a second one making y/n back arch

"Oh my god, please please don't...don't stop" y/n pleaded with Natasha the pleasure of being penetrated was mind blowing, y/n didn't have it in them to think logically about the fact a vampire was fingering their pussy, all they could do was melt into her hold.

Natasha speed up the movement of her fingers yet when the feeling of needed to Piss came over them they tried their best to push away from the supernatural.

"N-no please stop...gotta pee" the words made the vampire laugh, she then saw how innocent her pet was.

"Shh no, just let go" Natasha said keeping her voice soft, while her free hand moved from supporting y/n who also was leaning in a tree, to placing pressure on their clit. With all the motion y/n was thrown over the edge with a long moan, y/n's cum flushed onto Natasha fingers, yet the vampire didn't remove herself from their pussy until they had a moment to come down from their high, the vampire held the human up with one arm, removing her other hand from their pants licking her fingers clean before turning back to y/n.

"You'll be such, a good good pet Мой маленький паук (my little spider)

[tokoyamisstuff]

Rapture

Alexander Anderson x f! Reader | 1,5k. words | no warnings | not proofread

lmaoo I just needed to drabble this, but I made her a tiny bit more assertive can't be worse than the canon comedic moments

"Wait, Anderson! Your presence is enough!" Maxwell tries appealing to the paladin's common sense, but to no avail. He simply loses control at the sight of his mortal foe whenever those two clash.

The same goes for the head of the Hellsing Organization, only able to watch as both Alucard and Anderson draw their weapons, their manic laughter filling the Imperial War Museum.

As both masters were unable to keep those two behemoths from their imminent confrontation, suddenly a third party emerges from the shadows of a nearby hallway.

"Stop this at once!" you scream at the top of your lungs, standing in between the no-life-king and the holy knight. Disregarding the former, you turn towards Anderson, a warning finger poking his chest. "What in the Lord's name do you think you're doing?!"

The man immediately pulls you into his arms, your much smaller form almost disappearing under his overcoat. "And whit aboot ye? Reckless thing, dae ye hae a deathwish?"

Anderson glares over to his opponent, well aware he cannot fight while keeping you safe at the same time. "Huh?" You point over your shoulder to the vampire that was already lowering his weapons, observing you with an intent fascination. "What satisfaction would it bring to shoot an unarmed woman?"

It might sound naive, but as your sworn worthy enemies, they surely had the same sense of honor that was driving Iscariot as well. "This is no place to fight" you reprimand both of them, "There's civilians here!"

"We're oan protestant groond, I coidnae care less abo-" He's cut off by your angered expression, the imposing man rendered speechless just like that. "...fine" he sighs in defeat, "Wud be a waste destroyin' this braw art, ah guess."

Eventually he puts the bayonets away, turning to Alucard with a sombre look. "But this isnae ower yet. Consider it a delay o' yer fate."

Maxwell tries to take over the conversation again, still sweating bullets from the tension as he addresses Sir Hellsing. "Seems we both have troublesome subordinates, right?"

You loudly interrupt him, much to the amusement of the British attendees. "You're one to talk! You're not an ounce better!" Being irritated enough that he'd bring Anderson here for such trivialities, you pinch his ear like he was some kind of unruly child - well, to your defense, you practically raised him. "Calling this lady such filthy names...you better apologize!"

"Y-Yes, ma'am..." You nod along with a pleased smile as Enrico uttered some half-hearted excuse to the woman and her squad, then dropping a curtsey yourself. "I too have to apologize, on behalf of the bishop and my husband."

Great. Now his weakness has been exposed, and so casually at that. Anderson doesn't expect them to use you against him, they're different from the disgraceful vermin he usually fights after all. But still...

Everyone's face drops at your subtle disclosure. While Integra's face contorts in disgust more than anything, her hitman breaks out in boisterous laughter. A shiteating grin decorates his face as he sneers "Oh, it warms this cold, dead heart of mine to learn that you're just as much of a hypocryte as the rest of the Vatican, Father Anderson."

God's assassin bares his teeth, protectively wrapping his arm around your body and huddling you against his chest. "Shut it! As if ah'd gie a damn whit a vile abomination like ye thinks o' me." You were sligthly taken aback by his unusual public display of affection, but too pleasantly surprised to object.

"That's his wife?" Alucard's little fledgeling Seras was still staring at you, mouth slightly agape as she inspected you from a safe distance. Ever since she got a taste of his viciousness during their first meeting, she's horrified of the mad cleric - so this revelation made her brain hurt. "But she's so...normal?"

"Haha, thank you!" You try to wriggle out of your lover's grip, but he only tightens the embrace. "You're pretty cute too...for a monster, I mean."

"Stop sweet-talkin' the enemy!" Anderson huffs aggravated, making you snort a laugh. "Relax, darlin'."

"Are- are you a vampire-hunter as well?" she inquires, still visibly confused and you're amused at her bewilderment. "No no, I'm merely a supervisor at Anderson's orphanage."

"His what?!" The demonspawn seemed so overwhelmed, she might as well pass out. Being an orphan herself, only imagining being raised by someone like Anderson sent a shiver down her spine.

"Oh, you didn't know? The children adore him! Actually-" To keep you from making him lose face any further, Anderson pressed a firm hand over your mouth, making you frown.

"That's enough!" Lady Hellsing grew tired of this nonsense, still wary of the Vatican's intentions. "Stop wasting my time and state your business."

You pry Anderson's palm away from your lips, but his hands remain on your body, resting on your shoulders as he towers behind you like a guard dog. "My sincere apologies, Sir Integra. Those ill-mannered fools are not suited to lead negotiations. They may be outstanding in their field, but they are too erratic and should not be left alone. Thus my presence."

"As if I believe that polite facade of yours! Your..." her lip creases in disdain, "...consort has violated countless treaties aas he attacked not only my organization, but even killed two of my best soldiers!" She then puts a hand over her heart, clutching the fabric of her blouse. "I was almost killed myself!"

"Alexander..." You raise an eyebrow at the man and he winces at the coldness in your tone. "Is that true?"

"Whit o' it? They're lousy heathens." Rolling your eyes, you turn away from him, murmuring "We'll have a word later", before adressing Sir Integra again. "My husband tends to read the bible with partial blindness for the love and forgiveness part, I fear...but a shared enemy makes us at least temporary allies, does it not? We possess valuable information concerning the group that so deviously invaded your property and massacred your staff. Sincere condolences, by the way."

The stern woman at least partially calms, her unwavering glare wandering over to Maxwell, to whom you entrust the rest. "The bishop will discuss all formalities with you. If you'll excuse us..."

"What a fierce young woman, how refreshing indeed..." Alucard taunts, yet was sincere in his compliment. "I understand what you see in her. She's starting to grow on me already..."

In an instant you hear the familiar clang of Anderson's bayonets as he rummages in his cassock, however you quickly intertwine your fingers with his before he can summon them. He restrains himself for your sake, bites back the urge to destroy and instead focusing on leading you away from any danger.

"Don't get too full of yourself, fiend" you snap back at him, a contradictionary smirk playing on your lips. "Better enjoy the time you got left until my spouse ends your miserable existence..."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to see him try." The vampire grins, bearing his fangs in excitement at the devoted trust you put in your husband's strenght. To add insult to injury he bows down in genuine respect, making Anderson possessively tug you towards him. "I'll go back to sleep. It's tiring to be woken at the midst of day. Be well, my fair lady."

"...we'll return tae the Vatican" your partner murmurs as the two of you walk past Maxwell, absendmindedly stroking back of your hand with his thumb. "There's nothin' left for us tae dae here."

The remaining humans look after you for a while in awkward silence, before attending more important matters again.

Anderson then turns to look at you, a bright, almost innocent smile not quite reaching up to his eyes as he speaks. "This is a braw place. We shall bring the orphans some time, ma love."

"Yeah, right?" you chuckle all timid now, and he gladly joins in with your laughter before his voice turns more grim again. "Ah'm definetly gonnae kill them a' next time..." You rub soothing circles on his back, containing his bloodlust like you've grown used to over the years. "I know you will...thank you for protecting us."

He stills for a while, worrying you as a mixture of apprehension and despair becomes apparent in his features. All of a sudden he pushes you against the next best wall, lips devouring you in an urgent fervor. It takes a while until you break the kiss, dizzy at the lack of oxygen.

"Father..." you breathe in small gasps, beaming up at him. "How unbecoming..."

"Don't get used tae it" he grumbles in his usual, authorative tone, yet pecking another, more tender kiss on the top of your head. "Let's keep gaun."

He decides not to tell you what's shaken him up so briefly, chooses to rather dwell in this rare peaceful moment at your side. Nonetheless, Alucard had invaded his head telepathically, the vampire's words still echoing in his mind.

"I'm glad to see you have something that makes you hold on to your humanity, Judas Priest. I really am. So don't you dare losing it."

[yuesya]

Ino Takuma gasps, scrambling back to his feet. Shit, shit, shit. Had he just blacked out? How long had he been unconscious? He–

The eldritch, reverberating roar of a cursed monstrosity sounds like a thunderclap to his left, and Ino promptly throws himself into a backwards tumble before even regaining his balance.

It turns out to be the right decision. There’s a searing flare of blue-black cursed energy, then a gigantic, clawed hand that slams down right above from where he’d fallen.

Another sorcerer in his squad screams, heaving up a giant block of fallen rubble from clear across the field –Nishimiya Louis, a boy who’d recently awakened a telekinetic cursed technique– and hurling it towards the cursed spirit towering above them. 

But it’s no use. The cursed spirit simply gives the rubble a careless swipe at a very precise point, and the entire boulder simply breaks apart. And instead of inconveniencing the cursed spirit, now it’s Takuma and the rest of the team who are suffering from the sudden rain of jagged rubble coming down on their heads instead.

Takuma wishes that he could just order a retreat. But he can’t. He can’t!

The outbreak of cursed spirits on a heretofore unseen scale across the globe… there was something in this world that was horribly, irrevocably broken. Entire countries had been wiped out by the endless horde of cursed spirits that kept appearing, manifesting everywhere.

To think that Kenjaku and Ryomen Sukuna had once been the world-ending threats that sorcerers had feared… 

In retrospect, it was almost laughable. The current state of the world… this was what an apocalypse truly looked like.

… But even so, that was no reason to give up and stop fighting. Even as humanity was forced to retreat into hidden bunkers and strongholds, sorcerers continued to fight. If there was perhaps one good thing to come out of this entire mess, it was that a lot more people were sorcerers nowadays. Likely as a direct result of the massive increase in levels of cursed energy across the globe.

And yet–

When will this all end? How many people must sacrifice themselves, for there to be an end to this nightmare?

… Takuma can’t retreat. The Tokyo stronghold is close, and if he retreats from this cluster here, then it would be utterly catastrophic. Nanami-san… he’s sure that Nanami-san wouldn’t retreat, either, if he were the one here right now. Of course Nanami-san wouldn’t. If only he’d–

“Ino-san, watch out!”

It all happened in a single moment.

Takuma had just been ambushed by another cursed spirit, one that he’d successfully killed with a well-aimed Kaichi. But the delay had been long enough that he couldn’t escape the largest and most dangerous threat of them all. And Nishimiya-kun, brave, quick-witted Nishimiya-kun–

The young boy’s eyes are wide, mouth hanging open in a soft ‘o’ that resembles surprise. There are claws hands piercing his torso, running him through.

But he’s…

He’s not bleeding.

Ice-cold horror seizes hold of Takuma at the sight, the moment he realizes what’s playing out in front of him.

No. No no no not like this, not again–!

“Ino-san,” Nishimiya-kun whispers, still staring at him, “Please… run.”

Then, he coughs.

But it’s not blood that comes out.

Rather, it’s a smoky black liquid, saturated in cursed energy; reminiscent of the same sort of wispy darkness that clings to every sorcerer and cursed spirit nowadays. But instead of being light and airy, it’s thick and vile. Nishimiya chokes on the black liquid that he vomits out, and as the cursed spirit’s claws carelessly withdraw from his body, it’s that same dark liquid that gushes out from his puncture wounds too, instead of blood.

The boy collapses down into the inky dark pool, screaming, and Takuma can’t look away. Can’t look away from the snapping bones, warping flesh, so much worse than anything that patch-faced Special Grade cursed spirit had ever been capable of–

Nishimiya-kun stops screaming. The last dregs of his cursed energy winks out, becoming something unrecognizable.

What rises in the young boy’s place, all long, gnarled limbs and snapping teeth and gleaming red eyes that retain no light of recognition when they turn towards Takuma again, is a cursed spirit.

Something in Takuma finally breaks.

…

If it weren’t for Gojo Shiki descending from the skies right as Takuma and the tattered remainder of his team are about to be overrun, he has no doubt that they would’ve all died here.

Gojo Shiki.

Short white hair. Piercing blue eyes. A blade in her hands that can cut through anything and everything.

Takuma closes his eyes. If only she’d been here just a little bit earlier–!

“Ino-san.” The younger sorcerer finally turns towards him, once she finishes killing the last curse. Takuma stares numbly at the dismembered corpse, at the darkness that bleeds from its body to pool around the white-haired sorcerer. Ha, cursed spirit–! “Report the situation. And, where’s my uncle? He’s in charge of this squad, isn’t he?”

“Shiki,” Ino responds shakily. Even to his own ears, it sounds like his voice is coming from somewhere far, far away. But despite how heavy his tongue is, Ino forces his mouth to move and form the words, “Shiki, the curse you just killed.

… That was Nanami-san.”

[thatflatenedfrogontheroad]

I made a tier list...

please make your own!! I need to see boomer nations opinions on our man!!!! I know the tiers are actually so vile so change them if you desire :)))

OK so my quick blurb on why they are their!! (working worst to best)

28. Identity Crisis #5 - HE WOULD KILL ME FOR THE FUN OF IT. It did bring about the most random rivalry between Tim drake’s fandom and boomer's which is very funny

27. Black Lantern - Oh no… he's back… like a boomerang. Ate his own son... RIP…. L skill issue

26. Sliver Age - Would actually call me a slur and say that I don't deserve rights. He would hate crime me and then solicit me for sex. He looks like he's wearing a dress… what a pretty lady.

25. Flash TV Show - EWWWWWWWW, he though he ate...

24. DC Online - He looks like he would punch me in face at a NYC bus stop

23. White Lantern - Don't look at me like that… stop. He's back from the dead like a boomerang?? Something about most of the New 52 boomerangs don't hit the same. the bride all in white :’)

22. Young Justice - Gave me the ick. You might be thinking... he looks identical to SS hell to pay, why is he down here?? Great question… HE WAS SO CREEPY TO ONE OF THE GIRLS IN YOUNG JUSTICE….. WHO IS A MINOR!

21. Injustice Movie - Just because your in the background… doesn't save you from this list!!!

20. New 52 - Ok he's kinda hot if you look through your peripherals…Why are you wearing skinny jeans… you millennial

19. Harley Quinn TV Show - He's fine… just fine. “We’ll stack out bingo… Boomer loves an older woman” NO HE MUST LOVE ME! I AM VERY VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE

18. Flash: Sins of the Father - Can you please stop talking in the 3rd person… you are starting to sound crazy.

17. Most Wanted - I know jack shit about him. That's probably because he is barely in a comic issues THATS NAMED AFTER HIM!

16. Flash Point Paradox - His fight scene actually ate. I'm a sucker for Boomer being with the Rogues. If cyborg can take his belt off… so can I

15. Suicide Squad 2021 - Wow they somehow gave him even less lines than his first movie. 1. He doesnt look like boomer. 2. His accent is so bad… and hes AUSTRALIAN 3. His acting low key kinda mid 4. They killed off two of the only OG suicide squad members they had on the cast 5. He dies in the first 20min and in the most disrespectful way

14. Suicide Squad 2016 - The only good thing to come from this man is the fanfiction he brought. THIS FUCKING MOVIE MADE HIM A CANON BRONY WHICH I CAN NOT FORGIVE. GET THIS OUT OF MY SMUT BEFORE FREAK THE FUCK OUT >:( Fuck him and pinky too, you son of a bitch!!!! (its not that serious lol... i just want him to stop fucking a toy horse... please guys)

13. This Goober Alien Guy - I know nothing. He just kinda showed up… and I'm not mad just a little confused. He looks like he needs a hot chocolate and a hug :)))) 

12. Lego Batman Movie - Low key an icon. What I would do to get my hands on one of these sets… I would come close to killing someone for it

11. DC Lego Super Villains - If he wasn't Lego I would propose (Shane Dawson style) Once again what I would do for the very discontinued Lego set tie in…

10. Batman: Brave and The Bold - Those cheekbones could cut someone. Why are you wear a mini skirt… take it off ;)

9. Suicide Squad (comic) - Yes I know he was drinking and driving but he's not real so it doesn't count!!! The beginning of the Boomer Mobile! THE GAP TOOTH DUDE!

8. Justice League Unlimited S1 - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ok the hairline is… bad…. But so is mine twin!! I LOVE THAT THEY GAVE HIM PROPER CLOTHES AND NOT RAGS DUDE

7. Agent of Oz - is this picture is my school profile pic...yes… and??HE'S COVERED IN BLOOD AND IM GIGGLING!!!!!!!!!!!

6. Stjepan Sejic's Boomer - Choke hold and choke me...  I want to hear his voice but he can't break his mewing streak…The ungodly things I would let him do to me

5. Dark: Apocalypse War - Constantine! Boomer! GIRLS! GIRLS!! ILL SLEEP WITH BOTH OF YOU!!! I was not expecting him in this movie so I started to freak out when he showed up DUDE. PLEASE LET ME SIT ON IT

4. Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - I'm a ride he wouldn't survive… I DONT HAVE WORDS TO DECRIBE HOW I FEEL DUDE… I WOULD DO ANYTHING HE ASKED FOR NO JOKE. Dead on the floor

3. Justice League Unlimited S2 - The glow up in REAL... had me on my hands and knees as a 3rd grader… and still on my knees today. I have never wanted someone to fuck me in the back alleyway of a shit bar so bad in my life

2. Batman: Assault on Arkham - The one that started it all… he is the reason I am this way. no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom BUT GREG ELLIS IS PUBLIC ENIME NUMDER ONE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!!

AND THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!! WE ALL SAW IT COMING

1. Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League - I AM GNAWING ON THE IRON BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!!!! He has it all, the face, the VOICE, the look, the character!!!!! It is hands down the most consistently good representation of captain boomerang out their… and its canon that's he has a big dick :D I would sell my first born to get one night…

Thank you all for reading this word vom, I am sick in the head <3

if any of the comic issues are off or something please let me know :)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your our and tag me!! i need to see them <3<3<3

[kaeso4ka]

A titan falls from the sky, but not the one you expect to see

Pairing: yandere Optimus Prime x reader

You saluted silently as you passed the captain. He looked gaunt: the last sortie had brought the Survey Corps a lot of corpses. Mutilated, chewed up. Dead. With a look of pain in their eyes that was forever frozen.

Here, for a long time, the dead were not counted: everyone knew they were expendable. To do anything, for the victory of humanity; to give their heart - sometimes literally.

You didn't know how you got into the Survey Corps. Or rather, no, she didn't. You knew why you were brought here in the first place. You were too weak for police or wall guards. Not the best of the best: they didn't allow them to keep the bigwigs and civilians safe. But how did you get into the army, with your temper...?

The answer was simple: you had nothing to lose. In a world surrounded by high walls, it was hard to find happiness. While the struggle - the eternal struggle against a huge, terrifying enemy - led you forward.

Toward freedom.

***

The fifty-eighth Survey Corps foray beyond the walls turned out to be another bloody feast for the Titans. Your wing was completely shattered: you were the only survivor. The horse beneath you was bucking, galloping fast. The horse was wounded: one of the five-meter titans, obviously a deviant, had swung at you minutes earlier, but only caught the animal.

Your heart was beating somewhere in your throat, and your sweat-wet hair blocked your view. You had to find survivors from the other squads and then make your way to the walls: it was too long before nightfall to wait for it.

A bright flash in the sky to your right caught your attention: something was falling from the sky. A bright ball of fire cut through the blue, and afterward flashed even brighter, blinding you for a moment. The horse beneath you spooked, reared up; and you flew down. There was a terrible crashing sound.

“Stop, you vile brute!”

You fell face right into the mud, miraculously not breaking your neck; you froze. There was no one around you. The Titans seemed to have gone to where the people were most numerous; and the rest of you was forgotten.

But not for long. Oh, and then there's that... Flash!

You looked up at three o'clock and marveled. Something huge was towering where the bright fireball had fallen. Was it... Titan? You weren't sure: it wasn't the tallest individual, but he was different. Very different! There were so many differences in him, from his appearance to his behavior. And how did he end up in that ball falling from the sky...?

You spit on the ground, the taste of grass in your mouth. Wiped her face with the sleeve of her torn uniform. Well, I wonder, if you finish off this titan and bring the remains back to the base, will you be promoted then?

Pulling your swords out of their sheaths, you jerked forward and then took off. The 3DMG, fortunately, was not damaged in the fall and was working properly. The trees were sparse and small, but it was enough to fly above the titan and aim for his scruff.

The wind whipped at her face, but it didn't make her feel any better. You always lost control of yourself when you were flying at full speed on the UPM. Flying is a beautiful thing. And yet, even with your UPM skills, you've never killed a single titan in your entire service.

It was time for the first one.

As you spun in the air, you swung downward, straight for the neck...

... and was immediately grabbed by a metallic grip. Literally metal.

The palm that gripped you was like stone. It wasn't the usual rough titanium skin, no. And the titan itself... Bright, red-blue, with luminous blue eyes....

You braced yourself for death. Right now, this thing's gonna squeeze your hand and crush you. Or bite your head off, like its kin like to do?

Neither of those things happened. The fingers that were clutching you relaxed. The titan opened his palm, and you were surprised to note that you were still... Alive. And healthy. And sitting in the palm of this strange creature's hand... Not a titan! In stature and size, yes, but now you could clearly see that it was not their kin. Not an insane killing machine that wanted to devour all humans in its path.

You looked at the 3DMG. It was definitely broken now: this titan hadn't calculated its power to keep the device normal. It was too high to jump, and you wouldn't reach the walls on your own feet.

You swallowed, and then looked at the blue lights that replaced the creature's eyes. Oh, now you could get a good look at it. And you could have sworn he was looking at you... Mockingly? No, condescending! And interested.

And... Reasonable?

The Titan opened his mouth - so unusual! - and a strange mixture of crackles and clicks filled the space. You bowed your head. Were you being spoken to? You're the first person to be spoken to by... This?

“I don't understand,” you smiled confusedly, and the huge titan fell silent.

Loud pops caught your attention: the red lights of smoke flares were rising to the sky. The recon corps' sortie was a failure.

But that was for the others. You had a new mission to accomplish.

***

You didn't know what it was, but it was… Cool.

That day the titan took you to the forest of the Big Trees. The unexpected guest from the sky was not afraid of titans: no deviants, big or small. The red-blue one could shoot fire - or what was that blue stuff? - could change his body with a strange mixture of sounds, and was also extremely comprehensible.

When the titans saw you in the palm of a giant's hand, they tried to attack. They didn't react to the red-blue man himself, even when he turned his hand into a blade and began to slash at them. Then you attracted his attention with a shout and hit yourself on the neck, saying, Watch where you hit.

And you were understood!

The red-blue was easily destroying titan after titan - destroying technically - while managing not to drop you to the ground from a decent height.

You, meanwhile, were delighted. You still didn't fully understand what was happening, but... Who cares what! What matters is that you're with you.

***

You were sitting on the giant's shoulder. He was making strange noises, unlike anything you were familiar with.

You were... Afraid. The creature was strange, but not aggressive to you; it was deep night now, and all the titans were asleep.

You wondered what to do. Take it outside the walls? Would he go? And how would people react? No, there had to be another way out of here.

You should have gone home alone first, thought it over, reported back to your command. Then decide what to do about the red and blue guy.

You fixed the 3DMG. A broken 3DMG. You sighed. It seemed it wasn't fated to come back. At least, not like this.

You sat on the strange titan's shoulder again and fell into a restless sleep.

Only then Optimus Prime allowed himself a smile full of adoration that you could recognize without any words.

He had found you, and he wouldn't let you go.

[medusamagic]

So you want to know more about Big Barda

As Tumblr's resident expert on all things Barda, and as Kelly Thompson's Birds of Prey run brings far more attention to the character, I figured it was high time someone stepped in and gave the tumblr world a primer on DC's biggest and boldest heroine.

The Basics:

Introduced in Mister Miracle #4 by Jack Kirby, Big Barda was once the leader of Apokolips' premier death squad, the Female Furies. Trained from birth for a life of violence by Granny Goodness, Barda spent the first 250 years of her life as a living weapon. This all changed when she met Scott Free, a gentle Parademon-in-training with a mysterious past and a knack for escapes. Eventually, she and Scott both escaped to Earth, where they fell in love with both the Earth and each other. She's a lover, she's a fighter, she's a Pokémon card expert, but most of all, SHE BIG.

Barda's signature defining attribute is her raw strength. Her raw muscle allows her to keep up with heavy hitters like Wonder Woman. This isn't to suggest that she's a simple-minded brute, however-- Barda has centuries of military experience under her belt as leader of the Female Furies. She's mastered multiple weapons, including spears, swords, and her signature Mega-Rod.

Below are some reading recommendations for anyone interested in Big Barda:

Essential Runs:

Mister Miracle Vol. 1 #4-18 by Jack Kirby (1971-1974)

This was the run that introduced the world to Big Barda, as well as the Female Furies. If you want to know the basics of Barda, there's no better place to start. This run is collected in a trade, as well as a part in The Fourth World Omnibus Vol. 1.

(NOTE: Even though Barda doesn't appear until issue #4, I suggest you start with Issue #1. It'll help you get acquainted with the rest of the mythos.)

Justice League International #14-24 by Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis (1988-1989)

Big Barda was on the JLI! She plays off the other characters as well as ever, and a lot of what's great about her in Jack Kirby's original run is still here! Definitely check this one out if you want to see her in another team setting. This has been collected in this omnibus.

(NOTE: Once again, I recommend you start from issue #1.)

Popular Runs:

Mister Miracle Vol. 4 #1-12 by Tom King and Mitch Gerads (2017-2018)

Yeah, I know.

Listen, Tom King is a writer with... idiosyncrasies to put it nicely. The characters in the periphery of his stories tend to act really out of character, and his dialogue can be clunky at times. That being said, The Scott/Barda dynamic in this book is excellent, and this book has some of the best art that the Fourth World has seen since the 80s. The series has been collected in a trade.

(NOTE: Did you know that the CIA has over 2003 files on Tom King? Look up "Tom King CIA 2003" for more info!)

Mister Miracle: The Great Escape by Varian Johnson and Daniel Isles (2022)

If you're at all interested in the idea of a Young Adult reimagining of Mister Miracle and Big Barda's origin story with an all-black cast, this book was made for you. It's a bit heavy on the YA tropes, but the Scott/Barda dynamic is really solid. It was released as a standalone graphic novel.

Birds of Prey Vol. 5 #1-??? by Kelly Thompson and Leonardo Romero (2023-)

Admit it, this is the reason you're here. The Cassandra Cain & Big Barda is so instantly iconic, I'm surprised no writer has paired them up sooner. It also helps that this book has the single best Barda look since Jack Kirby's original run. Plus, she gets to throw down with Wonder Woman! What's not to love? This run is still ongoing, but the first 6 issues should be getting a trade pretty soon.

(NOTE: I started writing this before BOP #8 dropped, I had no idea about that thing that happens in the newest issue.)

Stories to Avoid:

Action Comics #592-593 by John Byrne (1987)

This is not a comic book-- it's an infohazard designed to cause pain and suffering to anyone who knows of its existence. Its premise is vile and disrespectful on the surface, and it becomes more insidious when you learn the context of its creation. This pair of issues is profoundly evil, rivaling even Avengers #200 in terms of loathsomeness.

For those who dare to investigate this, Content Warnings for rape, mind control, and human trafficking.

Anyway, let's end on something a bit lighter, shall we?

Remember that Mister Miracle YA graphic novel I mentioned earlier? Barda is getting a graphic novel of her own this summer! It's not out at the time of writing, but the preview pages look promising!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that introduction to one of my favorite superheroes ever. Please get back to me on this, I have no one else to talk to about Fourth World stuff.

[boysbellyrubs]

Harry's Illness

I'm deep into assignments and the looming exam season, but here is this fic. Bit short, but sweet :)

---

A sick feeling rested in the centre of Harry’s stomach. It gurgled and growled like a swamp, making him hyper aware of everyone else in the room at the moment. He turned to face the white board, staring at the interconnecting strings and photos of their latest case. They had been working on it for more than a week with absolutely no leads, no suspects, and one detective coming down with a gnarly stomach bug. Harry felt his back twitch as a cramp squeezed his middle, more fiery noises coming from inside. 

The board provided no cover for the noise, but it did allow him to subtly push on his bloated middle, desperately trying to get it to shut up. 

“Hey, Lawrence, does staring blankly help or are you going to help?” One of the other detectives spoke behind him, tense words spitting out of his lips. He couldn’t remember his name for the life of him. 

He turned then, fixing his gaze on the man shuffling through some papers. “Sorry, just not in the mood to look through 500 prison records.” The man scoffed at him but turned back to his work. Harry looked out of the squad room door, watching as Jack approached with a fresh mug of coffee. 

“It’s 6pm.” Harry said lightly. 

Jack shrugged, gulping down a mouthful. “I’m useless if I get tired, these two know.” Jack had worked with the other detectives, but Harry hadn’t met them until that morning. So far, he was only partial to liking Detective Watson. 

“Zombie Woods not making an appearance?” She said, smiling as Jack came to steal a few papers from her. 

He huffed, “Not today. Found anything useful?” He directed the question at Harry, and that was the moment where his stomach decided to announce its distress the loudest. He physically felt his cheeks pale and his knees buckle, the cramp ripping right through him. “Jesus. Hungry?” Jack continued, eyes glued to Harry’s stomach. 

The other shook his head, moving back to the board. He opted to just ignore it along with the wobbly edges to his vision and nausea crawling up to his chest. He felt the others give him looks behind his back, but he couldn’t care less. It was important for him to not fuck this up, he couldn’t destroy his first big case around his older coworkers. Especially in front of Mr Prison Records. God, what was his name? 

“Anyway, I got word from one of my possible witnesses that she usually saw our guy doing his service around the shopping mall near the City Centre. Probably some other witnesses around there.” Jack said to Watson. She responded quietly, or Harry just lost the ability to hear. 

All he heard was the oncoming tidal wave of nausea that was rapidly approaching his throat. He swallowed thickly, an uncomfortable grimace on his face. His stomach was aching and cramping like no other, echoey gurgles bubbling up and out. He knew if he didn’t get out of here quickly he was going to puke all over the floor, ruining the carpet and his reputation. Harry felt himself gulp again, spit gathering faster than he could manage.

Without any warning, he left the room at lightning speed. He walked on unsteady ground, feeling seconds away from tripping, as he made his way to the bathroom. It was the longest walk of his life. 

Bursting into the room, he bolted to the nearest stall and doubled over. Hot, thick vomit poured out of his mouth, the gurgling now residing at the base of his throat. It hurt terribly, both his stomach and his throat. Harry stabilised himself on the wall, palm flat against the plastic, and groaned through a dizzy spell. He felt the urge to vomit again and quickly dropped to his knees, bracing his hands on his legs. The next round was watery but burned worse and it made his eyes squeeze shut. 

Harry groaned, rubbing a useless hand over his tumultuous upper belly. The cramping powered through his touch. “Fuck..” He mumbled, then spat out bile and saliva. The smell was vile. It filled his nostrils and sparked another hearty gag, causing him to cough and choke as nothing came up. With his eyes closed, he fumbled around for the toilet paper, quickly gathering some up to wipe up the mess on his face. The unexpected force had caused tears to leak from his eyes and his nose to run. 

He was a pitiful sight, especially kneeling on the dirty ground. Harry flushed the toilet. He couldn’t take the smell anymore. He just sat down on his butt, leaning against the door as he tried to calm himself. His stomach felt like it was never going to settle. Harry imagined his breakfast and lunch fist fighting inside the organ, swimming around in his stomach acid. The image made him gag. 

Going back into the squad room was going to be a disaster. He didn’t even know if he would be able to pull off being healthy, not with the way his hair stuck to his forehead and his shaky breath and hands, they would immediately suspect something was wrong. Not to mention the disastrous stomach gurgle that everyone had heard. He was done for. 

As if further agreeing with his point, his stomach fired up again. A strong cramp hit his middle alongside another sickly grumble. “Ooh, god.” He moaned, sitting up to lean over the toilet again. Harry wrapped his arms around himself, letting his mouth hang open as saliva dribbled out, jaw aching. Food splashed against his oesophagus and he was vomiting once again. It made his back curl. 

He continued to spew up his insides for the next ten minutes, occasionally interrupted by a random officer asking if he was okay. It was humiliating. Harry breathed deeply through his nose, eyes closed and head resting back on the door. His hands were slowly rubbing along his belly, desperately soothing it and forcing it to stay down. So far, it was actually working. Harry had always been one for physical touch when it came to sickness, so a little belly rub was doing him wonders. 

But, he needed to get up. He was starting to shiver and his ass was hurting from being on the ground for so long. Jack and the others were probably wondering where he was anyway, if they hadn’t already left. Picking himself up was more difficult than he anticipated. His fever was raging, making him dizzy with every movement. 

As he pushed open the door, Jack’s face was the first thing he saw. 

“There you are. You look like shit,” He really needed to work on his bluntness. “Are you sick?” He pushed himself off the wall, arms folded as he peered into Harry’s glossy eyes. 

Harry knew he shouldn’t lie. “Um.” Good job. 

“I see,” Jack nodded, laughing a little, “Right, let’s get you home, rookie. Stomach bug? Think there’s one going around.” He put his hand on Harry’s burning shoulder, steering him back down towards the main room. He didn’t give Jack an answer, embarrassment overtaking his rational mind. 

They walked past the squad room, Harry glancing inside. Watson and the asshole were still in there but they looked off task. 

“They’re really useless. I’m going to miss you over the next week.” Jack spoke quietly into Harry’s ear. His words made Harry feel slightly better. 

“Sorry.” 

They approached their desks, Jack collecting up both of their things. He handed Harry his jacket, waving his car keys up to his face. “I’ll drive. And, don’t say sorry, can’t help getting sick. Just wish it wasn’t right now.” He chuckled a little to soften his words. It was a long walk to Jack’s car, but Harry was grateful to finally sit down somewhere soft. His stomach had begun to hurt while they were walking, so he sank down a bit and held his middle. 

Jack fumbled around in the back for a bit, then got into the driver's seat while chucking a plastic bag onto Harry’s lap. “Use that if you need to be sick.” The car engine revved, Jack immediately pulling out of the spot. Harry was grateful for his partner knowing exactly what he needed. Perks of being detectives. 

Harry kept his eyes closed as the streetlights flashed by. The movement mixed with the flashing was creating a nasty storm of nausea and sickness in his belly. It was a battle, but Harry managed to not puke at all on the way home. 

“Do you need help getting inside?” Jack said, expression blank. 

“Why are you so good at this?” His fever-addled mind made him speak the first thing that came to mind. 

Jack laughed at him, “Younger siblings. Do you need help?” He pushed. 

With his head and stomach spinning the way it was, Harry did. He nodded slightly, unbuckling his seatbelt to plant his feet onto the footpath. Jack’s hand held his forearm, gently pulling him up to standing. 

The entire walk to the door, Jack had his hand strongly planted on Harry’s back, guiding him. Jack probably didn’t realise how much Harry appreciated it, something as simple as a hand pushing him forward calmed his sick mind. 

Being inside was luxury. Harry instantly collapsed onto his couch, hugging the bag to his middle. Jack stood a little awkwardly in the living room after turning on some lights. His eyes wandered around the decorations and eventually he walked over to draw the curtains shut. 

“Okay, you think you’ll be alright? I can come around tomorrow with your car and some supplies.” Jack’s voice gave away his concern. Harry felt himself smiling at the fact that Jack was letting his walls down around him a bit more. 

“Yup.” He spoke quietly, exhaustion now his leading symptom. The room fell silent. Harry could feel his muscles unwinding, his stomach finally letting him rest and he shut his eyes. 

Jack’s footsteps walked away. They stopped. “Get some rest, kid. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

"What do you know about losing loved ones?"

Another random SVE one-shot because why not lol

Warning: Mentions of death, angst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At exactly five in the morning, when the Church of Yoba had just opened its huge doors to visitors to the Castle Village, Isaac immediately stepped inside, bowing politely to the attendants who let the local protector inside. The monk, closing the door behind the man, gave the adventurer and hero a sympathetic glance before returning to his duties and prayers.

Everyone else, who had managed to already be awake this early, left Isaac alone, not preventing him from approaching the huge Statue of Yoba. They all knew that Isaac would not want to talk or open up to the ministers about what was bothering him right now.

They already knew what's bothering him.

For the fourth year now, on the 23rd of Fall, he had come to the church exactly at five in the morning, to stand in silence at the statue and pray for the soul of his lost love, and the friends who had fallen from that day.

A date that became a tragedy for the world of swords and magic: a routine mission involving a group of adventurers, mages and witches of 13 people ended in the death of all the young defenders of the human race against monsters. Seven adventurers and two twin witches from the Castle Village, the other four were members of other Guilds and Clans, fell from the fangs and claws of an unseen and terrible monster, later christened by the name "Apophis".

The light from the stained glass windows fell on the tall statue. Isaac gazed at her in silence, but before his eyes were blurred memories of the last time he had seen her...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Isaac, are you worried?"

"What makes you think that?" His love saw right through him, but he was too stubborn to admit it.

"This will just be another patrol mission of the western part of the Crimson Baldlans, nothing serious. We're not going into battle and we'll teleport right away if things gets nasty," she walked over to the dark haired man and kissed his cheek, giving him the most gentle smile. "I'll be back soon, darling. Wait for me."

"...I'll be back soon.... "...wait for me...." Those words echoed in Isaac's head as he sobbed over the bloody corpse of his lover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There you are," Lance's voice immediately pulled Isaac out of the trance state he'd been in for over half an hour. "Alesia said I'd find you here."

The pink-haired man approached the statue, and he and Isaac stood for a full minute in silence, remembering the fallen comrades who had given their lives in defence of the village.

"What does Camilla want this time?" Isaac didn't want to talk to anyone at all today, but apparently fate had decided otherwise.

"Not here, my friend."

Once outside in the fresh air, both men began to walk slowly towards the Castle Village Guild.

"Camilla is calling all the adventurers to a meeting. It seems the problem with Apophis was much more serious than we thought."

Apophis, how many times had Isaac cursed that name, the culprit of all misfortunes, the vile thing that would never die!

"The Order of Pythagoras and the Ministry of Magic believe that our only option to kill this monster is to ambush it. Lure Apophis to the right place, and then launch a series of attacks."

"And what exactly do they want me to do?" The scarred adventurer stopped and crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Lance frowned, and Isaac realised he wasn't going to like what his colleague was about to tell him.

"One of the squads should be the decoy. They want your squad to do this."

"What?"

He couldn't believe his own ears. There were various rumours that the main organisations in Castle Village weren't shy about making such... decisions to achieve a goal for the "common good".

But Isaac's squad, the young, still very green recruits... They won't be able to stand up to the monsters of the Crimson Baldlans!

"Camilla, Magnus and Marlon protested about the idea, or at least asked to replace your squad with a group of professionals," Lance shook his head disapprovingly, he himself still in shock at the Order and Ministry's cold-blooded plan. "We don't know what the verdict will be yet-"

"My recruits are still too inexperienced."

"We tried to explain to the heads of the Ministry, but-"

"I don't care what the fucking Ministry says!" Isaac's voice was already starting to speak in a raised tone.

"I understand that, but-"

Isaac grabbed Lance sharply by the collar and hissed venomously:

"What do you know about this? What do you even know about what it's like to lose loved ones?! When bloody incompetent idiots send your friends and family to certain death!"

The one-eyed adventurer wanted to yell even louder, when suddenly he felt a not-so-subtle pain all over his body, as if invisible needles were pressing into his skin, causing him to freeze in place.

"I advise you not to swear and shout, dear friend. We still are on church grounds, after all."

Bastard, probably takes great pleasure in using magic on him, doesn't he?

Threatening a mage, especially a battle mage like Lance, wasn't the wisest decision, but Isaac's thoughts were clouded with rage and pain.

Except that when Isaac's anthracite eyes met Lance's violet ones, he didn't see the usual mockery or laughter, no hint of mirth or mischief in them. Only emptiness Isaac had seen in his own reflection after...

...after her funeral.

"You're not the only one who lost dear ones in that massacre..."

Lance dispelled the spell, allowing Isaac's body to relax.

"You're in full power to challenge their decision. Besides, no one pretty much agrees with their plan, so clearly they'll be looking for an alternative."

The pink-haired man turned his back to Isaac and headed for the Guild while Isaac stood still, pondering his colleague's words...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lance?"

"Yes, my love?"

"You're not mad that I asked you to keep... us both a secret?"

'No, but you do realise we're going to have to tell them sooner or later."

"Yeah I know, I know! It just... I don't know, scared that my father and mother wouldn't accept you."

"They're very nice and kind people."

"Yeah, but you're an adventurer, and they're not usually very trusting-"

"I know."

"I promise I'll tell them everything tomorrow. After my mission."

"A mission?"

"Mm-hmm. Just a routine recon in Crimson Baldlans with the others, but it's my first mission outside the Village! Finally, I've got a real mission! And when I get back, we're going straight to my parents. Oh, I'm nervous."

"Don't worry, I won't leave you."

"I know you won't. Lance?"

"Hmm?"

"Love you."

"I love you, too, my soul. Go to sleep. We got a lot to do tomorrow..."

...Lance would never forget the twisted in anger and sadness faces of his lover's parents, who, on receiving the sad news of their only son's death, were cursing Lance and all the adventurers and mages who had brainwashed their son into becoming an adventurer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[desceros]

For infinite singularity, I was wondering, after Donnie takes reader out of the office through the portal…

What happens to the..crime scene and our psycho coworker? Especially what did the rest of the brothers do?

(Btw love ur work, ur a total inspiration! ✨💞drink water, steal sum sustenance, take care of yourself 💗)

As soon as you and Donnie are through the portal, Leo gets to work. 

Mikey’s in charge of keeping your coworker from doing anything stupid. A task he enjoys greatly, as it means he gets to sit and giggle on the guy’s chest and pretend he can’t hear him wheezing for breath where Donnie nearly choked him. Meanwhile, Raph is sent off to take care of getting the power back on. He’s no Donnie with tech and never will be, but he’s getting decent at stuff like this. They don’t need it, but it’ll make it easier when the cops finally show up to wipe up the mess.

“So, what exactly was the plan here, huh?” Leo asks your coworker. “You get kicks out of roughing up pretty girls?”

“She’s not some random girl. She’s my soulmate,” your coworker spits, vile descriptions of the things he planned on doing to you cut off when Leo gets a foot on the clown’s broken forearm. 

“Wow, that’s so weird. Here I thought she was my brother’s soulmate,” Leo says, waving his hand in the air and watching the rage purple your coworker’s face. “What with the whole can’t stand to be apart and gazing sappily into each other’s eyes thing they have going on.”

“My pure little dove wouldn’t fuck a monster. He’s forcing her.”

“Buddy, I can promise you, first hand account, she did. Also, kind of ironic considering I’m pretty sure you got caught with your hand in one hell of a cookie jar, don’t you think?”

Raph comes back. “Power’s on,” he says, his word the only indication that’s the case since he left the lights off. Better for them, just in case. 

“Good job. One last thing,” Leo says, putting more of his weight on your coworker’s arm and feeling the bones splinter beneath his heel. “What’s TCRI doing sending out hit squads? Last I checked, business wasn’t supposed to be this cut-throat.”

Between heaving breaths of agony, your coworker groans in wretched agony before he just starts to laugh and laugh and laugh. “You’re a funny guy.”

“Right? Everyone keeps saying it’s my brother, but man, I’m telling you, my lines are killer,” Leo says, a grin that’s all teeth slashing onto his face as he grinds his heel into shattered bone. 

“He ain’t gonna talk,” Raph says after a minute more of your coworker just laughing each time he stops gritting his teeth in pain. 

“I can make him do it,” Mikey says cheerfully, a smile that doesn’t match his eyes pulling into place. 

“…Raph’s right. We’re not going to get anything out of him,” Leo says, pulling his foot off your coworker’s arm. “Knock him out and call it in.”

“I’ll find her again,” your coworker grits through his teeth. “She’ll never be able to hide from me. I’ll haunt her forever. Even if it’s like this, it’ll only ever be me she thinks about. Forever and ever and—”

“Ohh, my god, shut up,” Mikey groans, and with a thwack, your coworker goes silent. He then looks up at Leo, tilting his head. “…I didn’t know you believed in soulmates, too, Leo!”

“…Of course I don’t,” Leo brushes off, turning to inspect the security camera, putting his shell to his brother’s gaze.

“Cops’re on the way,” Raph says, and the two watch as Mikey gets your coworker trussed like a turkey. 

“We’ll have Donnie send them the security footage. Doesn’t look like he tampered with the cameras,” Leo says. Cutting a portal, he jerks his head. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

Reappearing in the lair, Leo pulls up his phone.

neon leon (6:11 p.m.) hey hermano. everything okay over there? how she doing

neon leon (6:12 p.m.) bud? you good?

neon leon (6:15 p.m.) nerd says whaaaat

Narrowing his eyes, Leo starts to tap out the next message—dude if you don’t answer in two minutes i’m coming over and—before he freezes in place, thinks for a moment, then groans in disgust. 

“Did you get a hold of Donnie?” Raph asks, tilting his head in confusion when Leo brushes past with a wrinkled beak.

“Let’s give ‘em an hour then try again. Fuckin’ rabbits.”

“…Rabbits?”

Mikey pets Raph’s shell consolingly. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Wh—B—I’m the oldest?!”

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 1

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Chapter 1: Scum

two seconds in an i'm already intrigued by the "anti-anti" dynamic. We have an anti-hero Luo Binghe and the "anti" fan Shen Yuan. p.9

honestly we live for a king like Shen Yuan though - bless those fans who make concise summaries in the epic fandoms. p.9

Fucking hell Luo Binghe :( p.10

Side note unrelated to the plot of this- the amount of page flips I have done to hit that guide at the back these first couple pages; outrageous.

in relation to point "Fucking hell luo binghe :(" even his teacher is Bullshit. p.10

ENDLESS ABYSS?! p 11

okay, but listen, is it truly the dark path if he's part demon? like isn't that the correct path for him? p.13

to clarify the previous point- I was rooting for him until he "began to eradicate each one of the human realm's great righteous sects" p.12

like okay, those who wronged him, totally fine- but everyone though?

crying at this authors name LOL p.12

I get it Shen Yuan- big same. I'd be pissed too (re: dying at the end of the shitty book) p.13

the RAGE of his dying breath oh no ahahahaha p.13

Shen Yuan has trained his entire life for this moment (re: transmigration) p.16

oh god "please ensure that no score falls below zero, or the system will automatically mete out punishment" p17

Well damn. I wouldn't want that either (re Shen Qingqiu's fate) p.19

this point system is WILD. Poor guy dies if he fails, jesus p.20

honestly same, if I was transmigrated into the body of a martial magic man, I would be checking out my new body too p. 23

YES. POINTS FOR PLOTHOLE RESOLITIONS!! p. 24

Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu: ERROR 404 p 26

okay thoughts: this is such a crazy role to navigate. he knows what's theoretically going to happen but he has to change the plot WITHOUT breaking character p.29

RE: ERROR 404. Super gross that he was having these thoughts about a CHILD. I did not know Luo Binghe IS FOURTEEN at this point. :( p.30

omg. he's (shen yuan/shen qingqiu) also over here talking about finding a girlfriend LOL p31.

i'm crying XD "Holy Shit" p.33

at least Shen Yuan is aware that Shen Qingqiu is NASTY. p.35

Ming Fan is vile too- SO rude. p.38

oh no, im nervous for Luo Binghe (re- his necklace and Ming Fan's squad) p. 40

okay but honestly he deserves it. He (shen yuan/shen qingqiu) just got points removed for the leaf thing and now he's over here doing it again. p.46

the SASS he (Shen yuan) is giving this system p.50

oh jeeze the fact that Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu is unlocking new content is STRESS. p55. Like he is barely surviving the plot, it's been like 10 minutes, and he's over here unlocking a side quest already

finding a loophole to help Luo Binghe- I love it! p59.

This concludes my first chapter!!! Hopefully I have a new chapter tomorrow

[tossawary]

So far (partway into the Hueco Mundo arc, I skipped the Bount arc completely), "Bleach" seems to... shy away from interesting consequences for the issues it directly brings up. (Also, oh, man, all the filler varies in quality so much and it is BRUTAL on the pacing of the main storylines.)

Like, I think a lot about the Soul Society arc had a lot of missed potential in general, but I also thought the end of it is where things get genuinely exciting. The Gotei 13 has been repeatedly shown to be uncaring, incompetent, cruel, authoritarian, etc. and it seems like the characters are fighting against this hollow structure built on unsustainable tradition finally cracking under the weight of whatever unjust powers are obviously behind Rukia's execution and apparently Aizen's murder. Multiple captains start turning against each other for different reasons. It seems like Ichigo is just one small part of a much larger world.

And then Aizen is revealed and things still feel pretty delicious! What he did to Momo was REALLY fucked up and painful to watch in many ways. It's not unreasonable that Aizen's betrayal immediately halts a lot of ongoing fights. It makes sense that the Captain Commander doesn't want to turn around afterwards and start executing people for turning against him after losing three captains and all of Central 46. But... I would still expect there to be more lasting cracks and broken trust between the remaining members of the Gotei 13. The top four members of Squad 11 briefly turned against the Gotei essentially for funsies and yet characters like Toshiro and Rangiku don't seem to have any real resentment or suspicion over this casual disloyalty. I vaguely hope the psychological weight of and anger surrounding Aizen's fuckery is explored more later on, with more seriousness, but I can't trust this show not to essentially drop the issue completely.

I don't need this show to have Soul Society turn into some socialist / communist / anarchist utopia. But it is a downer to have a character as absolutely vile as Kurotsuchi thrown in my face during his fight with Ishida, knowing that not only does Kurotsuchi survive, but he's presumably continuing his utterly inhumane work in the Soul Society while everything else is happening. And the show seems to treat him as more of a joke mad scientist in the background than someone as or even more evil as any of the hollows. And I can't fully trust that this aspect of the Soul Society will ever be honestly confronted, even as simply a deeply tragic element representative of the Gotei's unchanging hypocrisy.

The Gotei 13 has an assassination squad! You don't have an assassination squad unless you're regularly killing people who are "undermining" your power, probably including lots of poor people in the outer districts trying to organize communities, based on actual history. These aspects are what made the soul reapers such effective and complicated antagonists in the Soul Society arc! And the flip to "yeah, they're Ichigo's allies now, mostly" was very sudden and kind of... underwhelming.

I don't care if parts of this story are tragic and this obviously broken system is left mostly unchanged at the end, it's just annoying when the story treats certain aspects as happy endings or just a funny joke, instead of delving more seriously and deliciously into just messed up everything is! How the soul reapers are unable to handle the burdens here!

From what I vaguely remember overhearing, Aizen ends up being a relatively flat villain, with relatively shallow goals and motivations regarding taking over the worlds and rising to godhood, which feels like missed potential when there's so much about this world that sucks! If Aizen had any honest motivations about making things better for any group of people, including hollows and their shitty deal in all this for example, then we might actually have a more interesting dialogue happening about the state of everything. I would like to see him honestly appealing to Orihime's kindness and sense of mercy in order to get her to join him. Her brother turned into a hollow! She has reasons to care about hollows potentially wanting to be more human again and living better afterlives than fighting forever in the sands. Maybe Aizen could just be lying about helping other people, but it would be more interesting to see this type of persuasion, and I'm already fucking sick of so much of Orihime's motivations focusing on helping Ichigo instead of her feeling torn about her tragically and traumatically dead brother who turned into a hollow.

(Side note: I don't fully understand why Aizen didn't just take over the Gotei 13. Between his hypnosis and his minions and his plots to take out rivals, he could have surely installed himself as the next Captain Commander eventually. Neither Ukitake (chronically ill) nor Kyouraku (relaxed drunkard) seem to honestly want the weight of that position. Aizen just seems to like drama, I guess. Fair enough.)

I've just reached the fight between Rukia and Aaronerio who is pretending to be Kaien, and it feels like the story is bringing up a genuinely cool idea only to throw it aside as a trick by a relatively boring hollow character. What IF Kaien had become a hollow? What IF Kaien had joined Aizen because he had some legitimate grief with Soul Society and the Gotei 13? I have vague memories about Aizen having Kaien killed and framing the Shiba Clan because Kaien was investigating him, but it's sooooo boring to have Aizen be at fault for EVERYTHING. The fallen lieutenant / almost captain from a disgraced noble family treated badly by Soul Society... turned into a hollow and forced to survive tragedy he wanted to kill him and unable to return to the Gotei 13 for help? Joining up with Aizen because he wants to take down the Soul Society and make a better world? That's COMPELLING. That's COMPLICATED. That's something that promises to get MESSY if Aizen is lying to Kaien and/or Kaien has genuinely lost his way and/or Kaien HAS A POINT. But the show brings it up only to bail on the concept.

Maybe some of the things I've talked about here will be brought up later on. I expect them to keep bringing up many of these issues, actually! I honestly just don't expect satisfying explorations and resolutions to anything, given what I've seen so far. They're just not going for the good stuff.

(I have this playing in the background while working on other stuff. If I put on a better anime, I would actually want to pay more attention to it.)

[princess-of-thebes-1995]

Baby Trap Chapter 5

Yandere! Recom Miles Quaritch x Female Human Reader

You huffed in annoyance as you walked down the cold frigid halls of the head base of Bridgehead City.

 You averted your eyes from the other staff walking around. You knew you were rather popular.

 The wife of the Colonel, the first woman who gave birth to half breed Navis. Half Humans who looked like full Navi children with no traces of physical human traits. 

(The Sully kids had a quarter of human blood and human traits in their physical forms. Since Jake mated with Neytiri when he was in his Avatar Na'vi body.)

But, most of all, the worst reason. The most beautiful lady ever existed sucked a Na'vi's penis in front of multiple men. 

You gently knocked on the door of General Ardmore and you heard a mumbled affirmation to step in. You breathed in. Let's get this over with. 

Back in Hell's Gate Base, you remembered with painful memories of going to the Human Quaritch's office. The first time was to "ask" him to convince Selfridge to not cancel the Avatar Research Program. 

Then after that, having sex in his office whenever he called for you. As if you were on speed dial. And you bitterly remembered when someone almost walked in on you two years ago. 

The damn General was typing on her hologram computer. She looked to see you and she sneered before beckoning to sit you on the seat in front of you. 

You sat and she stared at you for a while before opening that vile mouth of hers. By her cold blue eyes. She obviously hated you. She reminded you a lot of Maria Walker. 

Luckily, Walker died again by Neytiri. From what you heard. You hid your glee from the Colonel. You didn't want to see her ugly face ever again. As a human at the old base, she would mock and jeer whenever the Colonel was not looking. 

Not to mention, you hated Walker even more despite being dead for almost a year. Why? Jealousy. 

Remember how your husband said he wished he was married to Walker, Zdinarsik or this bitch Ardmore because of your 'wrong' views?

Ditto. Your life would have been easy if you were married to a scientist who respected Navis. Hell, maybe even Lyle. Lyle might change sides for you. Like how Jake did for Neytiri. 

The unattractive masculine deep voice distracted you from your thoughts. "It's a shame we never spoke before. Despite you living here for almost a year." The General's smile was mocking you. 

You smiled. "I have been so busy lately."

General Ardmore nodded. "Yes, raising four kids (remember Spider is with Jake now.) and a husband must be time consuming…." Her cold blue eyes stared at your flat stomach. "And another on the way."

You gasped. How did she know? Besides, just hearing an extra heart beat is not enough to be sure you were pregnant. 

"I am not."

The General scoffed. She leaned in on her desk. "I am not stupid. The cameras showed me the pregnancy tests you bought and threw away in the trash."

Shit. 

"Did you tell your husband yet?"

You shook your head no. She raised a brow. "I also heard some yelling the other night. Lovers' quarrels?" She chuckled. 

If you weren't weaker than her, you would have slapped her ugly face. She found your annoyed expression amusing. Sadistic bitch. 

"And the Colonel's new squad. You gave them quite a show at the gym. I heard some men were jealous and wished they saw it too."

You felt your face turn red. This hag was pushing your limits. You stood up in defiance and she glared. You left and ignored her orders to stay. 

That's it. You had it! Fuck this diplomacy shit. You will run away. Or die trying. You don't care if you get caught again and get fucked in public by your husband. 

No. To hell with him. You will divorce him. Just because he is handsome and charming is not enough. You may love his qualities but you refuse to ruin your kids' life. Especially your daughter. If she stays here, she might be forced to be in a relationship with other men like you were due to her beauty when she grows up.

As usual, caught people staring at you with desire. Luck for you, they knew you belonged to the damn Colonel, they left you alone. 

Sadly, Isabella Maria was sadly noticed by the staff, soldiers, contractors and others. You had a feeling, if you or your husband weren't careful. Someone might commit pedophilia.

There was a space shuttle coming to Pandora again to pick up the Pro Navi helpers. Like you. They were sponsored by the United Nations. They would come a few times a year.

You have to find Miles/ Spider and send him a long with other two human kids back to Earth. You felt like a shitty mother. It was mistake coming to Pandora for vacation. This was the least you can do for them.