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landinoandco · 3 years ago

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Our Love is a Game

Lando Norris x Reader

Request from @jamieeboulos

Warnings: pinch of fluff, cute ending because they are the best

Word count: 2.7 k

Requests are open :)

It all started with a phone number, an innocent exchange that would subsequently change the world you knew; mostly for the better. When you had met Lando, as far as you were concerned you had just met a 21 year old who lived in London and had a passion for cars. How wrong you were. It was only when things started to get serious that he sat you down and explained everything that came with being a formula one driver; more importantly the fandom that he was involved in.

You had always been a private person and admittedly this piece of information almost broke your relationship but after some time to think you had decided that he was worth it all. You both decided it was a better idea to keep your relationship as quiet as possible - you took every precaution to make sure you stayed a stranger to the fans.

For the past 2 years, you thought you had managed to stay clear of the cameras, the photos and the twitch streams but it wasn’t until a fan-made compilation caused your world to spiral out of control.

You and Lando were out for a run, it was a part of your morning routine - a great way to start the day and it was time that you two could escape the motor sport world and act like a normal couple without worrying about who might be watching. It was time you both valued and appreciated. On this particular morning, Lando had decided to add to his Instagram story, a short video of his morning adventures - the mist still hanging around the trees as you ran under a heavily graffitied bridge, the early birds song chirping animatedly. At the time you didn’t think much of it as you were too busy tying your hair back up to notice.

It wasn’t until you got home and looked at his story that your heart stopped, rushing over to the kitchen island you placed your phone down and ran your fingers through your hair. It was a blink and you’ll miss it moment but in the corner of his video - the last millisecond before it ended - there was a flash of a purple top (the purple top you had been wearing) and a swish of brown hair as you chucked it back up into a ponytail.

“Lando.” You called out, trying to keep your voice as calm as you could. You didn’t know why it had affected you so much - or why you were so desperate to keep your identity a secret. It wasn’t like you wanted to hide your relationship; you were the happiest you ever had been, everyday was exciting and offered new prospects - it was more that you were so used to being in this bubble with Lando, the idea of it bursting seemed rather unappealing. Usually you didn’t care for how others saw you but seeing some of the words that people used to describe him, it would be enough to trouble even the thickest of skins.

Lando’s close proximity broke your thoughts as he stared down at your phone, pausing on the flash of brown and purple. “I am so sorry, love.” He almost whispered, his eyes widening at his carelessness. He picked your phone up to take a closer look.

“It will be alright, won’t it? I mean, it’s a blink and you’ll miss it.” You had said, more to reassure yourself than Lando. He didn’t answer, anxiety building in the pit of his stomach because he knew exactly what he had started.

The fan-made compilation didn’t go viral until a few hours later - as it turns out that flash of purple was the perfect cherry on top of an unappetising cake. Lando was sat on stream - not that this was out of the ordinary and Max had decided to join him, leaving you alone to rewatch Friends for the umpteenth time.

The pair were sat reacting to videos on YouTube when a clip of a seal swimming into a shoal of fish started playing - the amusing part was that they kept quickly dispersing away from the seal in question. Unsurprisingly, they laughed and Lando spluttered: “This is me trying to find a girlfriend.” What the fans didn’t know was the apparent irony of that sentence and this was what caused the major meltdown; whilst Lando and Max were busy crying with laughter - that chat had filled up with the same link and references to the video you would be redirected through.

Max was the first to stop laughing, tapping Lando on the shoulder as he pointed at the chat. Hundreds of the same message filled the screen: “That’s not what this compilation shows.” “Lando, what are you hiding from us?” “Lando and Max laughing knowing very well he has a girlfriend.”

“Chat what on earth are you waffling on about.” Max chuckled uneasily, looking at Lando out of the corner of his eye. Lando sat with a forced smile, his nostrils flaring as he continued through the comments. He could only let out a tense laugh as he swallowed thickly - his throat feeling suddenly dry. You were still sitting, completely engrossed and unaware that Lando Norris was now trending on twitter.

Max had come up with an excuse to end the stream not long after, Lando uncharacteristically quiet. His thoughts were with you in the other room, had you seen it? Did you know? How would you react? He felt as though he had lost all control, like he had failed you entirely - all he wanted to do was protect you yet he was the one to screw it up.

“Hey,” Max nudged his shoulder, “It was bound to happen at some point. Let’s go and see if she’s seen it - if not then -” He took a deep breath, “We will watch it together. We need to know what we are working with here.” Lando nodded, unable to reply, his body went into automatic pilot mode and too quickly he was standing facing you.

Pausing the tv, you looked at Lando - his jaw tightened and facial expressions set as though he had just seen a ghost. “Is everything ok?” You asked apprehensively.

“There’s something you need to see.” Max reached for his phone, pushing Lando onto the sofa. You offered your arm to Lando, pulling him into a hug. Max pulled up the video and pressed play. A tense atmosphere held the room hostage - breath restricted and gazes fixed onto the tiny screen in front of you.

It started with a clip from this year’s Goodwood - Lando preparing to drive his last hill climb - you remembered it well, a McLaren hat placed on your head mainly to cover your identity; knowing that there would be more than a few fans around. The clip moved to 3 separate stills - all of you in your McLaren hat. One with your back to the camera, you hand placed around Lando’s waist, the other two a side profile as you spoke to Max.

The reaction was immediate, you slapped your hand to your mouth, Lando looked horror-struck and Max was watching you carefully.

The video moved on, this time a clip from the quadrant video where Niran trains like Lando for 24 hours - Lando and Niran were in the kitchen preparing to eat their breakfast when once again the video moved to stills. This time they were of your reflection in the oven - holding the camera. You had thought at the time, if you were behind the camera it would stop every chance of you accidentally being caught on camera. Apparently not.

The video had moved on again, this time to stills of Lando arriving on track - of course there was no way for you to get on track without being photographed and you were fine with that because you would just arrive after Lando either with Jon or Charlotte. Photos of you arriving with Jon and Charlotte flashed up - with them you were just another member of staff but put with those other stills and it really did yell out that you and Lando were romantically involved. Finally the flash of purple from Lando’s story. The game was up.

“Oh my-” You stuttered as the video came to an end. Fortunately your Instagram hadn’t been shown but judged by how skilled you knew the fans to be - it would only be a matter of time. “I feel sick.” You admitted, wiping your hands across your face. Lando still hadn’t said a word, staring blankly at the floor. Max was the first to come up with something logical, turning to you and Lando.

“It will blow over.” He started, “The fans will soon lose interest and move onto the next big headline. We just need to ignore anything we see regarding the subject.” He moved his attention to you. “Maybe avoid social media for a few days. Let everyone cool down -” Sensing your means to interrupt, he held his hand up. “I know you shouldn’t have to and I know none of this is fair but unfortunately people have no boundaries and believe because it’s on social media it is their business. If they were in our situation, I’m pretty sure they would be the first to complain. Let’s just go along with it for now. It will give you time to think about what to do next.”

Lando cleared his throat, pulling you closer into him. “I’ve failed you. All I wanted to do was protect you.” At this, Max got up and left.

Shaking your head, you pressed your lips to his forehead. “You could never. Think about how long we kept it secret for. Besides, until we announce or admit anything - it isn’t confirmed.” You offered, trying to soothe his worries. He nodded, still not convinced.

“Our love is like a game and it’s not a game I enjoy playing.” He croaked, lacing your fingers together.

“I know, Lando, I know. Let’s let everything calm down and then we can think about what our next step is.”

Weeks later and it was the night before you were due to leave for your summer holiday. You would be spending it with Lando and some of his friends and family. Due to the current pandemic, it had been so long since you had been away - even if it was a bigger group of you going; you were still looking forward to spending that quality time with Lando.

Max had decided to take himself and Tom off to the streaming room - leaving you and Lando to sort out the remaining items you needed for your time away.

“I have a present for you.” He said suddenly, his hands behind his back. You beamed, taking a step closer to him. He shook his head, “If you want it - “ He pointed at his lips.

Rolling your eyes, you pecked his lips then held out your hands like a child. Lando chuckled, “Close your eyes.” Hands still outstretched and eyes closed, you waited for Lando to present you with your surprise. He grasped your left wrist and attached something to it - “No peeking.” He added. A moment or two later, he dropped his hold of your wrist and said: “You can open them now.” You could hear the smile on his lips. You opened your eyes and looked straight to your wrist - he had given you a pink watch. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him, his eyes twinkled as he then pointed to the orange watch on his wrist.

“Watches?” You asked, confusion laced your tone.

Nodding, he said, “We all have matching watches but in different colours - they are for our holiday away.”

You gave him a lopsided grin and wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love it. Thank you.”

In the streaming room, Max was having to ignore the majority of the comments because they were all asking the same thing: “Who was the girl from the compilation.” He was trying his hardest to keep moving off the topic, instead showing off the watches - it had been his idea, blue for him, orange for Lando, a child’s watch for Tom and a pink watch for you. He had listed off all of the colours and said who they belonged to: “And then pink-” He paused, mentally face palming. He looked over to Tom for assistance - he hadn’t meant to say pink at all. “And pink is for someone.” He cursed his poor excuse but as if by magic - Lando walked through the door.

Distracting the stream from his slip up.

Croatia was a dream come true, the hot summer sun on your back and the time to just relax and recharge. Days spent with Lando sunbathing on the boat or stuck in a tense game of Uno. Not being the only female was brilliant as well - as they got to go off and not feel guilty about leaving you on your own.

Currently, you and Lando were standing in each other's arms - the afternoon drawing into the evening as the sun began to set. You had your arms around his neck and his arms were around your waist, sighing contentedly you broke the silence: “This is nice.” He pressed his lips into your hair, a sign that he agreed with your statement. In that moment, it was just you and him - everyone seemed to disappear from around you and all worries vanished. It was the simple yet affectionate moments that had always meant the most to you. You felt as though you could relax every muscle in your body, listening to his steady heartbeat - you wished for this moment to never end, to forever be in his arms and to not worry about who sees you there.

Ever since that compilation had been made, the thought had been on your mind a lot. Were you ready to go public with Lando? At the end of the day you were both happy and surely that was the most important thing.

Later that night, you were sitting eating your meal when a phone was handed to you, displayed on it was a picture of you and Lando - in each other’s arms.

Instantly you knew what this meant, looking at Lando you were met with the same expression. He did as well.

You and Lando had decided it was time to announce your relationship, there was no point sneaking around anymore if people knew and were looking out for you. You had agreed that the best way to do it was if you joined him in a stream, that way they got to know you a bit more for who you were.

“Is it ok to feel as nervous as I am?” You asked him, pulling up a chair beside him. He was setting up the stream, two mugs of tea placed in front of you. It seemed completely unnatural to sit facing the camera.

“I mean, this is kind of a big deal so yes I would say, it’s completely natural for you to feel nervous.” He reached for your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. Nodding, you took a deep breath.

“Ok. I’m ready.” You said, your heart beating at a million miles an hour. The corners of his lips turned up, leaning in to leave you a kiss on the lips.

“I love you and I’m so proud of you.” He admitted quietly, as though you were the only person in the world, his eyes flickered with complete adoration.

“I love you too. Now, shall we start it?”

Lando went to press the start stream button but paused. He turned back to face you, his eyes wide and offered an apologetic smile.

“What did you do?” You asked, a smile toying at your lips as you had an idea of what it might have been.

“Stream, meet my girlfriend.”

He had already started it...

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asteroshearts · 4 years ago

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[Actor!AU] Relationship HCs

[Levi + Eren]

Levi Ackerman:

Even though he still has his RBF off-screen he’s a hell of a lot nicer than people think he is.

Probably asked Eren if he was okay several times before and after the trial scene.

They used one of your tweets that read, “I want Levi to break my back like a glowstick” during those “____ reads thirst tweets” videos and his face immediately became full-on red when he saw your @.

I mean, he was blushing before, but when he saw that it was you he jokingly says, “I had no idea they posted this... Why are you like this. If you wanted me to break your back you could’ve just asked me to my face.”

Great with puppies, kittens, children, and other infantile creatures. If he’s carrying a bouquet during an event or something and a kid comes up to him, he’ll give them a flower.

“Levi Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions” probably got over a million views in less than half an hour.

NO ONE DOES BUSINESS CASUAL BETTER THAN HE DOES!!

People probably take more pictures of you two at the front row seats of fashion shows more than the models themselves.

Probably has the Rihanna Effect™ where he’ll wear something that looks bad on the OG model on the runway, but once he wears it, it’s suddenly fashionable.

Speaking of Rihanna he’s probably in a random music video of hers like Mads Mikkelsen in “Bitch Better Have My Money.”

HE’S STILL AN ACTS OF SERVICE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH.

On one hand he does expected “gentleman” things like opening doors for you, closing your car door after you, holding your bags, etc.

On the other hand he goes to the extreme.

If he’s not filming something or busy, he’s by your side doing all of the jobs your assistant is supposed to do.

The directors and cameramen are looking around being like, “Where’s our Important Character Levi” when they need to shoot scenes, but if they find you they’ll just see him following you around, holding an umbrella over your head in one hand and holding your coffee in the other.

When they first saw it everyone was like...couldn’t you find someone else...that’s not an extremely important cast member to do that... but it’s just Levi, he insists on doing it himself. Your assistant has the easiest job in the world because he elevates all of their jobs for them.

CAREFULLY HOLDS THE TRAIN OF YOUR DRESS ON RED CARPETS

When your hair gets tousled or locks fall over your face during filming or photoshoots, the cameramen will point it out, but before any of the hair or makeup people manage to get to you, Levi will just ;; walk over and fix it himself. The two of you probably have the softest smiles at that moment when he’s carefully brushing your hair out of your face.

Isn’t in a lot of roles. He definitely gets offered a whole bunch of roles!! but especially when you two started dating, he told himself that he didn’t want you guys to crash and burn like many other celebrity couples since they normally spend a lot of time apart and are usually thousands of miles away from each other. When he’s not filming AOT, he tends to take a break from acting and go with you to your jobs.

However, if he does find himself in a role that he wants to do, he’ll definitely appreciate it if you reciprocate, but doesn’t expect nor force you to.

Instead he’ll leave your assistant with a long-ass list of how you like your coffee, what you like to eat after a long day of filming, how to approach you when you’re stressed, etc because this man has been doing your assistant’s job the entire time asdfghj

The only time he’s gently smiling in paparazzi photos is when he’s with you, other than that he looks angry or bored. Like he’ll be at a beautiful beach party with Erwin and Hange but he’s just sitting in the shade with a drink in one hand looking inconvenienced.

Eren Jaeger:

OKAY

There’s this one video of Dylan Sprouse putting his hand on his heart like it’s the national anthem or something when Barbra Palvin walks by on the runway AND THAT’S EXACTLY EREN

When he sees you walk by either on a modeling gig or on the red carpet this man just stops ,,, and immediately stares and puts his hand on his heart like he’s seen Jesus.

ALSO does anyone know that one video of the dude tripping over his words when he tries to talk to Jhene Aiko during an interview.

When you and Eren first met he had to bring Armin as a translator because he was never able to get a straight sentence out in your presence.

He was legitimately stunned stupid when he saw all of your red carpet looks or interview looks when you two were still new friends during S1 or something.

follows Ere[Name] ship accounts on twitter and your stan accounts.

Why do you even have a publicist. He’s your personal hypeman. Sometimes people get confused when they go to his official instagram bc it’s just pictures of you, him promoting your stuff, or really grainy, desaturated pictures of you two doing dumb things together like doing the JOJO Torture Dance together on an empty street at 3AM. These are interspersed with pictures of him when he has to promote something that’s like in his contract.

When he posts pictures or stories that doesn’t have you in it, the comments are all, “Where’s [Name].”

When little kids come up to him during panels or out on the street he’ll get jokingly concerned that they’re watching AOT. Like, “Y-You watch the series?? Do your parents know? Is it too scary for you?”

Tries to make you laugh by pulling funny faces where the camera can’t see him.

If you mess up on your line, he’ll immediately build on that and goof off with you, resulting in the two of you getting yelled at.

Quality time is one of his love languages, so like Levi, your managers will work together to make sure your schedules work with each other.

Sometimes when you have other roles outside of AOT, you might catch him as some regular extra in the background.

It can’t be helped if sessions go on for too long sometimes, but if it becomes a reoccurring thing due to unorganized sets, he’ll fight with the director and crew to get a break since it’s important for everyone to get some rest.

If your character is shipped with some character That’s Not Him, the directors know not to show his face during kiss scenes or romantic scenes because he’ll legitimately break character and pout or become so stone faced that he can’t emote at all.

This Academy Award winning actor will just go 🧍 on the sidelines while you’re trying to kiss Jean for a scene but his stare is burning on the side of your head.

Eren to Jimmy Fallon or something, “I guess Jean and [Name] are cute but it would be better if it was Ere[Name]. No, no I’m not complaining or anything...”

GAVE HIS EVERYTHING TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUNIOR HIGH.

Begged the writers to have more Ere[Name] content in Junior High.

If they let him direct an episode of AOT he will film it like Parks and Rec or The Office.

[Eren: commits war crimes

Camera: swerves and zooms in on your face grimacing and Levi’s dead expression while he stares right at the camera.]

People probably know that they can’t interview him/force him to do lives after shooting because his voice is gone after all that shouting as Eren Jaeger.

Has a Dan-Emma-Rupert relationship with Mikasa and Armin. He legitimately sees them as siblings even off-set.

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circethegoblin · 3 years ago

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STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

#life hacks #life #not dying #staying alive #no one will see this #who cares though

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sinnamonrasinslut · 4 years ago

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The Ease With Which We Hurt [I] ICorpse Husband x Fem!ReaderI

A/N: You guys. I have never simultaneously loved AND hated a piece that I wrote. I really don’t know how I feel about this, but I promised myself last year that I wouldn’t overthink my writing, so here we are. This is part one of most likely four, but we’ll see about that. Thank you to everyone in my inbox who gave me ideas to turn this into a multi chapter fic! They’re all coming, I promise :)

SYNOPSIS: Corpse loves her, she loves Corpse. But both of them are too dumb to realize it, and too afraid to admit it.

It started, like most good things in his life, out of the blue.

He met her three years ago. Well, not met, but befriended her three years ago when her podcast was just taking off. He remembers sending her a DM about how great her work was, remembers her being gracious in her praise of his own narrations after and he remembers talking to her well into the night until she fell asleep. The rest, to Corpse, is history.

And yet, all he knows of her is a voice, a name, and the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. she chooses to wear a mask every time they FaceTime, just for the formality of the entire ‘faceless’ situation. She’s told him she thinks it’s ironic, how she feels like he knows her inside out, and she’s still afraid to show him her face. It’s not like corpse can blame her. She doesn’t even know his name, let alone what he looks like, and it’s a miracle she hasn’t filed him away as some no face creep by this point.

But she hasn’t. She’s still here, after three years of being her friend, and almost a year of seeing her eyes and convincing himself that she’s his friend, damnit, she’s still here. It’s already a lot more than he can ask for.

He’s been holding himself back from falling in love. Or rather, he’s been in love for as long as he can remember, but he's been adamant on denying it; because he knows how this goes. It’s never gone well for him in the past. And he’s not ashamed to admit that he’s afraid. But sometimes, she tells him things that make his heart break, just out of the realization of how absolutely fucking stupid he's being, holding back from her.

He’s convinced that when he dies, she’s going to be the light at the end of his tunnel. That heaven means nothing more to him than a place in her world, however small, however insignificant, as long as he gets to see her eyes for the rest of eternity.

Every part of corpse tells him that it's love. But he tries to push it away, suppress his own feelings till he's nothing but a walking contradiction, overflowing with voices that only say her name.

But he’s tired. And he's scared. Because he’s been down that road before, opened himself up to people who haven’t liked what they saw and left with pieces of him he’s not sure how to tape back. He’s unsure if he's willing to let her try.

So, he settles for a small corner of her world, a little piece of her existence that gives him life, and every time he talks to her, hands flailing as she animatedly tells another story, he pushes the yearning to the back of his head till it crawls down and clings to his windpipe, unsure and immeasurable, and he can’t speak anymore without choking. But then she says things that make his heart jump into his throat, and then he’s choking but for entirely different reasons.

“What would you do if I was gone?”

He doesn’t mean it like that. Well, he does, a little bit, but his brain isn’t taking over every part of his body trying to convince him he’s unwanted, so he doesn’t mean it like that. He’s only curious, maybe in need of a little reassurance. And nobody does reassurance better than her.

She doesn’t say anything for a very long moment. Corpse knows the gist of her impending answer but the pause still blooms unnecessarily in his chest. But it’s not like they haven’t done this before.

“I’d write about you.”

“Huh?”

She only huffs a laugh at his confusion. She pulls a blanket closer around her and props up her phone to rest against what he assumes is a wall.

“You’re not easy to forget, Corpse,” her voice is soft, truthful without flattery, provides comfort without justification. “if you were gone, I’d write about you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s the least I’d need to cope.”

It’s not what he thought he’d hear, but it’s becoming increasingly clear to him that it’s exactly what he needed. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

“Besides,” she continues, hair falling in her face as she adjusts the blanket, “there is no place for me in a world without you in it.”

And he physically feels his heart stop and clench in his chest. The thought of meaning this much to anyone, to her in particular, is more than he knows how to handle. So, he doesn’t follow that up with a quip, no teasing laughter, no suggestive, exaggerated winks that only he can see. He only lets himself bask in the warmth of her honesty, lets her smile at him in that way only she does, the way that makes him freeze and ache and crumble.

He chooses not to talk after that, settles for listening to her tell stories about her childhood. Her voice is the purest thing he’s ever heard, he’d hear her talk till the world ended if he could, and the sweet lilt of her voice lulls him to sleep hours after she’s hung up the phone.

He doesn’t get to talk to her for almost two weeks after that. He misses her a little, but he keeps that to himself, and instead, tags her under dumb twitter memes and sends her pictures of cats that he’s saved specifically for times like these, and another video of two geckos fighting on a tree captioned ‘u and me’ .

There’s no place for me in a world without you in it.

The words wrap around his ribs like a noose, tightening by the second. Some days, when his heart is fast enough to beat out of his ribcage, it grounds him just as much as it hurts. But when she’d said it to him, it passed through him like a train wreck, distorting all semblance of control he’d convinced himself he had.

He knows it’s ridiculous, but he loves her. She’s only a voice through his phone and eyes on his screen and he has no clue what the rest of her looks like, but he’d be damned if he lets himself deny it one more time. He loves her. And that’s the most terrifying thought he’s ever entertained.

It doesn’t take long after that realization takes root, for him to send her a picture. He doesn’t let himself think too much about it. Taking pictures of himself is still new to him, but he tries his best. Don't think about it too much, he reminds himself, and unsurprisingly, it's her voice in his head that does all the soothing. He captions it something stupid, more out of habit than anything else (my hair makes me look like Dora the exploraH), with his name across his forehead and ‘Dora’ in brackets beside it.

Momentarily, he wonders if he’s ever asked her if she even wants to see his face. (He has, and he distantly remembers her agreeing as long as he’s comfortable with it.)

He hits send before he has the chance to stop and think.

Then he waits.

Her response is quicker than he’s prepared for, her name flashing across the facetime request on his phone. He’s giggling before he even picks it up.

“CORPSE, WHAT THE FUCK!”

For a very long moment, they just stare, taking each other in. This is his endgame, corpse thinks, he’s never going to need to show anyone his face after this, nothing, no one will matter as much.

With a jolt, he realizes that she’s not wearing her mask. He can see her, all of her, and that on its own should be enough to take him out.

And then she smiles.

If there was any doubt in his mind before about how head over heels he is, she’s taken it out of his mind and stomped it to the ground. He’s not the poet in this friendship, but he’s assured he could write entire paragraphs about the way she smiles. And he tells her exactly that.

“I’m curious to see how that would fit with fine lass nice ass cat ears and she uwu,” she teases, eye twinkling with mirth, “but I'm sure you’ll figure it out.”

He’s both amazed and amused at how quickly they go from fawning to bantering. But perhaps that’s the thing about her that feels so familiar.

“I will write a song about you baby, don’t tempt me.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a confession,” he shrugs, suddenly shy, unsure of where to lead with this. Thankfully, she interjects before he has to say anything else.

“That’s an awfully bold confession for a man called Corpse.”

“I’m also awfully alive for a man called Corpse, but you don’t see me complaining.” Awfully alive and not enough husband, he wants to say, but he keeps that to himself.

“You complain about being alive everyday, Mister Husband,” she counters and Corpse groans, dropping his head into his hands.

“I say that to you in confidence,” he grits out, playfully glazing at her.

“You also tell about a million people on stream, I’m not special,” she laughs.

“You are very special to me.” His voice is soft, shy, almost afraid to tell her the things he’s saying, “I did say I’d write a song about you. Pretty special if you ask me.”

She hums, taking a huge gulp of water and nodding enthusiastically.

“Correct, me, the cat girl and the e girl. What’s the next single, Corpse? Faceless Girls are ruining my life?”

“You’re a rascal,” he chides as a familiar warmth settles around his heart, and grips.

“It is one of my finer qualities, yes.”

Distantly, some part of his brain registers that this is the first time he’s seen her, but there is no sense of hesitation in his head about her. It feels just like it always has, with her on the phone saying the silliest things, and him responding with equal enthusiasm. This is the way they’ve always been.

While she talks, hands animatedly moving around, Corpse allows himself a small moment of reprieve to think. He knows he loves her, but he wonders briefly if it’s too soon to be in love with her (he concludes that probably it is, given that she remains unaware of his feelings, but he finds that it doesn’t really matter)

Because while Corpse loves her, he’s sure he doesn't know how to love her. Doesn’t know her favourite flowers even if he knows her coffee order by heart, doesn’t know her ideal date even if he’s memorized every poem she loves.

The meanest parts of his brain tell him she deserves better, and he knows they’re wrong. But a small part of him can’t help but dwell. He’d rather have her and her unnecessary hand movements in his life as his friend than not at all. So he pushes away his feelings for another day, and just listens to her talk.

Corpse is perfectly content with that.

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband imagines #the ease with which we hurt #coco writes #friends to lovers #we love that trope in this household #if you reblog with stuff in the tags i WILL read it and cry #also if u reblog it with ur favourite part quoted i will cry #i just will cry thats a personality trait lmao #Sometiems i feel like the continuity of his chapter feels rushed #but idk i dont have the patience to fix it so i wont

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janamelie · 3 years ago

Text

Dimension Jump XXI Report

I suppose I’m a DJ veteran now as this was my fifth consecutive one and the fourth at the Nottingham Crowne Plaza which is an expensive four-star hotel. Sharing with a friend helps keep the cost reasonable and honestly, it’s worth it for the sheer convenience of being right there in the hotel and being able to nip back to your room as required. (To be clear, you don’t have to stay in the hotel to attend the con. There are plenty of other hotels nearby.)

Plus there is always the chance that you’ll see a guest at breakfast as I did Danny once. He picked out a few pieces of fruit and nibbled at them before wandering over late to his photoshoot. What else would you expect from a cat though?

Friday

Myself and @downonthepharm-red-dwarf (Amy) had arrived the previous day so had plenty of time to be near the front of the queue for registration. Which meant we saw Hattie Hayridge arrive in a stunning designer coat and with smart luggage. She really brought her outfit A-game and looked great the whole weekend.

Once we’d presented our respective proofs of full Covid vaccination or a recent negative test, we were given our DJ passes and booklets. The latter has spaces for signatures from guests, an Order Of Events and various handy tips for the weekend.

The con kicks off at 5pm with an hour of gradual build-up in the Main Hall - they show videos from previous events, specially made titbits with various guests past and present such as Mark Dexter doing a mock guide to DJ and Rebecca Blackstone voicing Pree. It all helps with the atmosphere, as do the numerous RD posters dotted around the hotel.

Then it was time for the Opening Ceremony featuring various Fan Club team members and an overcrowded stage full of cardboard boxes - the joke was that they’d had too much time on their hands during lockdowns and bought loads of stuff online. It was obviously also a nod to Lister’s hoarding in “The Promised Land”.

The sketch featured a specially made shot of the AA adverts’ Starbug model landing outside the Crowne Plaza and an 80s computerised version of the lovely convention logo. You could tell a lot of loving effort had gone into the whole thing.

Once the guest line-up had been announced (I’ll get to that not-really-a-surprise-guest shortly), we went straight into the RD Pub Quiz, hosted by Hattie. DOTP and I had been joined at our table by Lapsang and Barbs from our Discord (No Kind Of Atmosphere) plus various other attendees we’d befriended.

Someone in the crowd yelled “I love you, Hattie!” to which she quipped “I’ve pulled already!” Another bloke shouted “Fuck off, she’s mine!” which led to a few shouts of “Fight!” When neither seemed keen to do so, Hattie joked: “Only two? That’s a bit pathetic!” and then we got started.

The quiz is hard, by design, but I’m good at quizzes and my team - No Kind Of Atmosphere after our Discord - came joint third which was gratifying. (I was on the winning team a few DJs ago, to blow my own trumpet for a moment. This is my report, after all.)

And then it was time for the first guest Q&A with - surprise, surprise - Johnny Vegas aka the Crit Cop in “Timewave”. Not a great episode but he more than made up for that with an appearance I can only describe as chaotic. Warning - DO NOT attempt to heckle him unless you want to be singled out and humiliated in front of the entire audience in a “Can’t look away” fashion which was nonetheless entertaining. The man in question tweeted about it afterwards and seems to have taken it in good spirit.

Once we’d moved on from encouraging people to leave unpleasant things in room 429, it turned out Johnny’s a big fan of the show and owned it on VHS (so did I). He thinks of the main characters, Holly would win at “Taskmaster” and had good reasons for that conclusion.

He was dubious about the pink costume he wore in “Timewave” as he thought it might take away from the character but said he eventually decided he needed to get over what he was wearing and just go for it. He also said one of his worst working moments was on “Benidorm” when he had to hold his breath underwater in a freezing swimming pool and his co-star kept forgetting her two lines so they had over 30 takes. Ouch.

Johnny left commenting that he got less love at his 50th birthday party. But we hadn’t seen the last of him by any means as people kept buying him drinks during the Auction, leading to him successfully bidding for one of the items on offer.

And then he was back for the Karaoke. Now if you - as he informed us - had to undergo emergency dental surgery in the morning and had practically lost your voice, would you sing karaoke? And not only that, would you sing a version of “Love On The Rocks” which lasted 11 minutes according to someone on Twitter (I wasn’t timing it, but I can believe it), followed by the full-length version of “American Pie”?

If you answered no, you’re clearly not Johnny Vegas. He went to bed so late that the unfortunate Fan Club team member assigned to look after him got a grand total of 90 minutes’ sleep.

Saturday

DOTP and I had paid for the Photoshoot with Mr Vegas, Danny John-Jules and Ray Fearon. We got in the queue at 9am which was when it was supposed to start. An hour later we were still waiting. Yep, Danny was late.

Once he made it to the hotel, I got my photo in front of a Science Room backdrop. You might think Mr Vegas would be hungover and rushing through it, but on the contrary, he was still enjoying the hell out of proceedings which was refreshing to see. Since he’d been added to the line-up too late to be in the souvenir booklet, he signed extra inserts for the Fan Club which they handed out to everyone at the later Autograph sessions so attendees got his autograph after all even though he’d finally left. That’s what I call throwing yourself into an event.

Next up was a combined Q&A with Danny and Ray (originally separate but Danny’s lateness meant they were teamed up). This wasn’t a problem at all though - on the contrary, it worked really well as the chumminess between them added to the vibe. Also it was Ray’s first convention so he probably preferred to have Danny backing him up, especially since the poor man tripped on his way to the stage and almost fell. I don’t think he was hurt but I cringed with secondhand embarrassment and empathy. He wasn’t the only one to fall foul of the edge of the stage that weekend; I think it was the slightly raised dancefloor in front of it.

As is usual for Danny, we were treated to over half an hour of what you can only really describe as a stream of consciousness as he pontificated about various things. He and Ray did also talk about working together on “Death In Paradise” and Ray described his worst working experience there - he had to play a scene in a club in 45 degree heat with a live snake wrapped around his neck!

Ray is attractive in a “Hollywood hunk” way and Danny was clearly conscious of this, joking that he’d “brought his own security with him” and muttering “I’m better-looking anyway!” But all in a jokey way as they’re clearly friends.

Danny had come from filming and dropped a heavy hint that he’s appearing in a Dickens adaptation which I imagine will be shown at Christmas as they generally are. He also complained that Craig Charles never answers his phone: “You send him a message and he answers it on Twitter a month later!” (Interestingly, Chris Barrie later mentioned a recent phone conversation with Craig so make of that what you will.)

Ray was quieter but happy to talk about the vagaries of showbiz and typecasting - he said that due to his Shakespearean background he gets a lot of serious roles so people were genuinely surprised that he could also do comedy but “I was always funny!” He also gently teased Danny about the age of some of his references before admitting he still finds Tommy Cooper funny.

Danny usually performs “Tongue-tied” with a good grace when inevitably asked to by an audience member but perhaps it’s finally starting to pall as this time he did it in the style of Oliver Reed’s Bill Sykes and included a lot of X-rated references to cunnilingus etc. It was entertaining though.

Next up was a live Q&A (over Zoom) with Chris Barrie. Danny decided to stick around as he wanted to show Chris something he’d ordered online. It took a while to get the cameras in the right position for Chris to be able to see it and Danny needed a knife to open the parcel, leading Chris to quip “Is this a good time for me to step out for some lunch?”

However, it turned out to be worth it as it was a custom-made Ace Rimmer doll which impressed Chris with its quality and he complimented the maker.

Danny and Ray then departed for their lunch and to take part in the Coffee Lounge which this year had reduced its numbers for Covid-related reasons and held a ballot for entry in the interests of fairness. Amy and I didn’t get in but happily stayed for the rest of Chris’s Q&A.

In the “working from home” spirit, Chris was in a hoodie in his living room as opposed to his more usual smart suit. He was suitably relaxed and revealed he got through lockdown by concentrating on the things which make him happy, such as his hobbies, his garden and his family. His favourite episodes are “Marooned”, “Dimension Jump” and - less predictably - “Twentica”. He also referred to a recent “mannerly, as he would call it” phone conversation with Craig. No details but it had clearly been a positive experience.

Amy decided to liven up the ending of his Q&A by asking a vitally important, “TPL”-related question. Whom would Rimmer find more attractive, a female version of Lister or a female version of Cat?

Once the laughter had died down and Chris had bought some time by pointing out that “neither of them are women”, he gave the question appropriate consideration. He pondered whether Rimmer would be more taken by the “simple charms” of Lister or the “feline grace” of Cat. This next bit is courtesy of Amy as my memory isn’t infallible: He said it’d be a choice between a feline form or a rounder, a bit more slovenly woman - he wouldn’t want the perfectly feline woman because she might not like his imperfections, but he also wouldn’t want someone who ate curry three times a day. “Basically, a balance would be ideal.”

That was the last question but Chris provided a little more entertainment as he had a “How do you turn this off then?” moment a la Gordon the computer in “Better Than Life” and made amusing faces as he figured it out. If it was anyone but Chris I’d think it was a deliberate reference to that but I think he was genuinely befuddled.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Autographs with Hattie, Danny, Ray and Norman Lovett. I got the latter three to sign the “TPL” poster I’d brought with me but gave Hattie the booklet instead as it seemed more tactful. She complimented the dress I was wearing and I returned the compliment, telling her how much the fans appreciate the effort she makes with her DJ outfits.

Norman commented how there’s a version of the “TPL” poster he isn’t on, bemusedly. Fortunately mine was the version including him.

I spent the rest of the afternoon chilling in the bar with Amy, Lapsang and Barbs, chatting to other attendees. Graphic Designer Matthew Clark was now in the Merchandise Room with various props from Series XII and “TPL” including the Starbug manual used onscreen. I got his autograph on my poster but it’s an incomprehensible squiggle. Oh well. He was very friendly and easy to talk to.

After a break for dinner, the Main Hall reopened for the Costume Competition. This seems to get better every DJ, with an amazing “Greyscale Rimmer” who was discomfiting to be around due to the corpse-like makeup, a Natalina Pushkin, a Nirvanah Crane who could almost have been Jane Horrocks herself and a Diving Suit Cat from “BTE”. Other entries included Rimmer’s Mum, “Giraffes who were armed and dangerous” and a Confidence And Paranoia who were later pictured at the bar chatting to Paranoia himself, Lee Cornes.

We then had a special video message from Doug Naylor which I won’t go into as I’m sure everyone’s already heard the details. Suffice to say, his tone was positive.

The second Auction was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who made it more entertaining by adding his own commentary to each item. This was followed by a stand-up set from Norman. It was amusing but he misjudged the mood a bit, I feel. When you’re waiting for a disco to start and it’s already hours late due to Danny’s tardiness, you don’t particularly want to contemplate your own mortality. We were here to get away from all that, as much as possible.

Anyway, the Disco was a lot of fun even if Dave Benson Phillips’ presence as host was sorely missed. Hattie danced for the best part of an hour alongside everyone else. The stand-in DJs did their job and I stayed until the end. The final two songs were “Bohemian Rhapsody” and … “Tongue-tied”.

Sunday

Not being in the Sunday Photoshoot, Amy and I had a nice leisurely breakfast and got over last night’s festivities before the first Q&A, live over Zoom with Robert Llewellyn.

This was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who in his capacity as Dave era audience warm-up knows Robert well. Clearly well enough to get away with teasing him relentlessly about not being at the con in person until poor Robert was a mess of Krytenesque guilt.

His protestations that he’d been scheduled to be in Munich this weekend but no longer was (he was at home) only made things worse. Ian: “Oh, so that’s two sets of people you’ve disappointed now! Stop saying yes to things!” It was hilarious and Robert took it in its intended spirit. Also Ian was getting a measure of revenge for Robert - in character as Kryten - dry humping him at recordings. One attendee asked “With the groinal attachment?!”

Robert admitted that he finds Kryten’s various groinal attachments hilarious and if he was writing the show they’d be in every episode. He praised Doug’s restraint.

He also admitted that in “TPL” he had an earpiece to have his lines fed to him. Since it’s controlled by an iPad, certain unscrupulous cast members took great delight in feeding him rude ones.

He still intends to update “The Man In The Rubber Mask” but atm “Fully Charged” is consuming a lot of his time as it’s become much more successful than he anticipated and he’s in charge of several people.

Surprisingly, he would hate appearing in RD without the Kryten makeup, both because it’s become much quicker to apply and because it provides him with a shield and he becomes Kryten and forgets stagefright. He still can’t watch “DNA” for that reason.

Lapsang, who played Kryten in “Into The Gloop”, asked Robert if he’d seen it. He hadn’t but said he was now very curious and would find a way to.

Next up was Lee Cornes aka Paranoia who said he originally auditioned for the lead roles and like the other unsuccessful actors got the consolation prize of a guest appearance. Upon being asked if he’d gone out for a drink with Craig Ferguson’s Confidence, he said no because at the time they had a frosty relationship due to rumours that Craig was plagiarising other comics’ jokes. Lee said it was all very silly and he’s since apologised.

Interestingly, Lee is a qualified science teacher and carried on with that career alongside his media one, leading to surreal situations where his pupils would ask: “Sir? Were you on the telly last night?” “Yes.” “Are we on the telly now, sir?”

Someone asked a good question - what would Lister’s Paranoia be like now 33 years later? Lee would be willing to reprise the role but isn’t sure it would work as the original had a childish quality whereas he feels now the character would be a lot darker and less funny. Lee was both thoughtful and entertaining in his responses.

He was followed onstage by Hattie and Norman, who resolutely refused to rise to the bait of an audience member attempting to stir up a rivalry between them. That only works when one isn’t the nicest person you could meet.

A tactless audience member asked both if they’d watched “TPL” instead of directing the question at Norman. Luckily Hattie had seen it and particularly enjoyed the cat flap joke although she felt there was a little too much focus on the guest cast.

Norman didn’t really watch RD after he left but Hattie has seen Norman’s early episodes as he lent them to her back when she was originally cast as Hilly for research purposes. Bear in mind this was 1988 when they weren’t even available on VHS so presumably he recorded them off the TV.

Hattie confirmed with a sigh that she’s simply never been asked to return in any capacity: “That’s the short answer.” What the hell, I’ll say it one more time - Bring Back Hattie! One episode, that’s all I ask. As it stands, it’s starting to look like a pointed and deliberate snub which mystifies me.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Rob Grant and Paul Jackson. For obvious reasons they didn’t go into the current legal mess, opting instead to entertain the fans with the story of how they met and their early pre-RD work (Rob and Doug as freelance writers for Paul’s producer).

We saw some clips from their early shows including “Three Of A Kind” with Lenny Henry, Tracy Ullman and … later magician David Copperfield; apparently they all had the same agent and Paul took on David as a favour. For a 40 year old show it held up pretty well and was in much better sound and picture quality than older shows often are. “Carrott’s Lib” was just as funny.

It’s a bit hard to summarise but this session was entertaining and gripping. Rob still wants to write another RD novel and I believe there’s nothing actually stopping him as both he and Doug had an option to write a second solo novel. So we’ll see.

The final Q&A was Matthew Clark who was very informative and interesting, showing us numerous production stills from Series XII and “TPL” and talking us through them. There was a groan when time was called before he was finished.

By now time was running short and Amy and I went back to the room to pack and leave our luggage with reception before watching the start of “Dibbley Family Fortunes”. Since I knew I wouldn’t have time to watch it all, I instead nipped upstairs to Autographs with Lee and Ian, timing it perfectly as the queue had almost vanished.

Ian was still performing, drawing scornful attention to the fact that Lee had a longer queue: “Can you imagine all these people queueing to see Lee Cornes?!” It sounds rude out of context but he was clearly joking.

I decided to ask Lee what flavour the yogurt Paranoia eats was. He said it didn’t really taste of anything as it was the cheapest, nastiest canteen yogurt available and was also starting to curdle under the studio lights so eating it can’t have been much fun.

Since I now had about 15 minutes before I had to go, I caught a bit of Dibbley Family Fortunes, said goodbye to Amy, Lapsang and Barbs and then dashed off to catch the tram to the train station. Another great DJ.

#red dwarf

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fursasaida · 4 years ago

Note

re: music. please do tell

(for everyone else: this is about my commenting in some tags that the idea that music is "how we decorate time" vs architecture decorating space, or music as something that is pure time or happens purely in time, is bullshit)

there are two ways to look at this. one is practical (and snotty) and one is theoretical.

practical: the production of music depends at least as much on the manipulation of space as it does the manipulation of time (rhythm, pacing, etc). your larynx and vocal chords, string instruments, wind instruments, drums all depend on resonance chambers and distances (length of the string, pipe, vocal cord, etc; dimensions of the drum, shape you make with your mouth, etc). that musical sound of the tinkling brook has to do with the volume of water, size of the stones, length of the drops, etc. this is because music is sound, sound requires vibration, vibration has physical properties that vary with various attributes of extension that are undeniably spatial. even digitally recorded and manipulated music relies heavily on tools for simulating spatial conditions of production--different kinds of reverb, for example. not to mention: you can hear any of it because of your god damn ear, which is another kind of resonance chamber. not to mention: how could anybody make music without any space to move in. even slapping your knee requires fucking up and down. AND HAVE WE CONSIDERED ACOUSTICS.

theoretical: ok ok so we don't have to take this so literally. it can be kind of poetic--or, as in some philosophy etc., illustrative/theoretical. my charge here is that treating music as "pure time" is bad poetics and does not help us explain anything theoretically either. theoretically: space and time aren't separate. i do not blame some random twitter user for not getting this. i do blame somebody like henri cursed-be-his-name bergson. just because it can be useful for certain purposes to think of them separately (like, say, graphing something's speed) does not make it valuable to talk about a pursuit like music in only one dimension or the other. like, the cubists were inspired by bergson; they show you bodies from more than one angle because they're trying to give a sense of duration--the ways you would see it at multiple moments as you move. this is supposed to be full of time instead of static and timeless like perspective. this is also horseshit. there is nothing less spatial about this! it has to do with the fact that the body you're looking at looks different from different angles, i.e. it has shape and directions! perspectival painting shows you actions and processes all the time! arguably it is more timeless to collapse multiple perspectives and moments into a single image! i'm not anti-cubism particularly, it's fine, i'm just saying, like: did anyone think this through actually.

similarly, if you want to use music to talk about the way time passes, how it's always going but does seem to have a present-duration--the present moment is not knife-edge thin--you can use literally any process that happens at a perceptible speed to do this. and you do not need to ignore that whatever it is also has spatial qualities. how would you even perceive time without motion or change in space? music is supposed to be one way. but i'm sorry! a) for practical reasons it simply is not without such motion/change (not even as a digital recording), and b) since time and space manifestly are united in perception, what help is it to try to separate them if you are a phenomenologist (bergson) rather than a (classical) physicist or engineer? henri what the fuck. this has always struck me as mainly a way to completely fail to appreciate music while also being obtuse about time. to speak of music as time only, no space, means divorcing it from the physical process of its production. this means it requires believing in absolute time--something that would pass and would happen even without anything to happen in it. which is just as wild as absolute space (space with a priori locations that would exist whether there was any matter to fill it or not). not even isaac newton, who invented both of them, thought this was something you could perceive or measure empirically. absolute space and time was to him a purely theological-mathematical idea, something that had to exist for the sake of certain premises but could never be experienced as such. your measurements will always be relative, not absolute. so absolute space and time are both bad for theorizing how anything affects us or is experienced--you know, like phenomenology? also fwiw the fact that absolute time can't capture the sensation of duration is still, like, a big problem in physics.

going back to that reblog where i explained that not everybody has always even had the concept of "space" like we do now, there is no empirical reason to believe absolute time or space exists. duration and extension are properties of physical processes (at varying levels of materiality). and many of those physical processes are not better explained but rather impoverished by trying to make them "happen in space and time" rather than things that give rise to spaces and timings. this is why the idea of music as pure time or purely in time leads to such absurd questions as "how can you slap your knee without up and down." it's stupid! it's snotty! but that's because the premise is bonkers!

so. whether theoretically or poetically, music is much more suited to discussion in terms of place. places have or are both space and time. in fact it is to some degree wrong to talk about place as "space and time" at all; rather we get the two separate concepts more by extrapolating from place, in which they are so fundamentally unified that not even a word like "spacetime" really captures it. that is partly what makes place difficult to theorize: places are too much like bodies, or like people, or like communities; you can't pull them apart into axes like "space" vs "time" and not lose what it is you're trying to theorize. (you can, e.g., track and analyze traffic patterns quite well this way, and that can be worth doing! but does that capture the place? does it explain what a place is? probably not. it's a different purpose.)

why were european cathedrals designed to have great acoustics? because those were places for the glorification of ~the divine, which was to be accomplished through both light and sound; both its spatial form (extension, hardness, size) and its nature as a ritual site (repetition, endurance); these qualities or capacities could not be separated. did the music not "decorate" the place just as much as the paintings, sculptures, architecture, stained glass? of course it did. we've all seen videos of somebody stopping in an archway or a big bathroom or whatever and singing; the place is further beautified by that because it is an interaction with the place, its spatiality, its acoustics, its textures, the way it looks, the fact that it invited the singer to sing--whether congruously (maybe a church) or incongruously (the aforementioned bathroom). just like your neighborhood has a distinct soundscape; just like a city has refrains. just like i remember stopping dead in the middle of the old city of damascus because three different calls to prayer had, intentionally or otherwise, overlapped to form a perfect major triad for a moment. i will remember that forever. and i will remember where i was when it happened too. (souq al hamidiyya.) that is part of the place. it happened because of the number of mosques and where they were located. and similarly what kind of sounds, or what kind of music, happens in which places has to do with the normative character of places. some sounds, some musics, "belong" some places and not others, because some actions are held to be appropriate there or not, or because they are or are not held to be characteristic. i'm not saying that's a good thing in itself. it's just the way it is. (and there are some places whose function is specifically to be open to all kinds of music, of course.) but i'm saying it leads to much more interesting questions with much more explanatory possibility. for example we could ask about characteristic rhythms or speeds of sounds in different places and what that means. or look at conflicts over what sounds "belong" or don't and to what degree that is justified in terms of time (time of day, pace of life, epochal ideas like what is or isn't "modern," etc).

tl; dr: explain to me the concept of an echo (which we use as a metaphor for having a strong experience of time quite a lot) using time and no space. explain to me how putting it in terms of time alone, even if you could, captures something that including space, or better, a simple narrative set in a place, does not. now explain to me why you would want to do either of those things.

#dieinct #space and place #time #music

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welcometomy20s · 4 years ago

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January 10th, 2021

Action Button Review

Review

Tim Rogers reminds me of Hank Green. They are about the same age, they look about the same age which is a combination of young and old that feel eternal. They also have the same length of experience in writing in online spaces, interest in Japanese media, and apparently have Crohn’s disease? In summary, he might be the closest equivalent to Dave Green that exists in the real world. Well, I guess Dave Green is not apt, as Dave Green is not special in a way, while Tim Rogers is special, but his speciality comes from his failures rather than his counterparts' success.

Tim Rogers is a hypothetical Green brother who did not decide to publish that book. He’s a hypothetical Green brother who went to Japan instead of Alabama or Florida. Whose project crashed and burned rather than a surprise success. He’s forged in fire while the Green brothers are eroded by water. Both are wonderful people, but with a different ground of intensity and differing wealth of wisdom.

I encountered this series because I found a twitter post about a six hour review of Tokimeki Memorial, and a white middle-aged man talking about a dating sim for six hours with laudatory blurbs would always pique my interest, but since I didn’t know the guy, I went ahead and looked if he made other videos, and found he has four other review that were all about three hours or more. Now I knew that I had to watch all the reviews to prepare myself for this six hour review of Tokimeki Memorial.

Now, I wasn’t a stranger to three hour reviews of video games. I watched Joseph Anderson, Raycevick, Whitelight, matthewmatosis, and Noah Gervais-Caldwell. In fact, in the comments below Action Button Reviews, many people talked about a comparison to Noah Gervais-Caldwell (and Brian David Gilbert) and that was quite funny since I actually watched a recent Noah Gervais-Caldwell video.

His first two reviews were perfunctory, him opening himself up and trying out new things and polishing his review style, as he went through the Final Fantasy VII remake and The Last of Us. While I watched The Last of Us, I distinctly remembered and contrasted Noah’s The Last of Us Part 2 review with Tim Roger’s The Last of Us review. I liked Tim Roger’s defense of interactive movies (although he denies it!) contrasted with more cynical but ultimately positive connotation in Noah’s review. And Noah’s thesis pairs nicely with Tim’s observation that Ellie was the main protagonist all along. That fact makes Part 2 much more understandable, even the bad parts.

When I finished watch his first two reviews, I went ahead and also watched several of Tim’s videos on Kotaku, which were slightly shorter, the longest being just over an hour, which is a review of the best games in 1994, and does contain a short segment about Tokimeki Memorial, which his six hour review was my destination. To put in context, Tokimeki Memorial was #3. #1 was Earthbound, #2 was Final Fantasy VI, and #4 was Super Metroid. And I just watched a playthrough of Super Metroid basically on a whim, because it’s a monumental and a great game to play and watch.

And while the segment of the games that I knew to be great and monumental in my absorption of knowing video games was deeply personal and rightly claimed its stake that it deserved its spot, his segment of Tokimeki Memorial never got there. It was almost as if he was deliberately hiding behind something. In the end of 1994 review, Tim pitched an idea about a three hour Earthbound review, which probably was Tim’s idea of floating a departure from Kotaku, which would happen two months later, and I wonder if he was trying to deliberately throw a curveball by making a video of Tokimeki Memorial instead of the promised Earthbound review. This may be a far leap, I admit.

I went back and watched the video about Doom. It was much better in quality and in darkness. I was reminded of Film Crit Hulk’s writing of The World’s End and James Bond, another very long essay that was deeply personal and chapter for easier consumption. Few commenters noticed that Tim Rogers was just doing a dramatic reading of his written reviews on Kotaku and Action Button dot net, and how they liked that approach, and I found myself liking that approach as well. You might believe a video review needs more than just reading an essay out loud, but just the act of reading an essay out loud in the correct intonation and inflection adds ton to experience. And Tim Rogers sounds like he has decades worth of experience to present a dramatic reading of his essay very effectively, much like Hank Green.

I continued scaling the mountain to my goal. I went through his review of Pac-Man and was delighted by his reading of Namco games, and was impressed by the opening sequence, and just generally enjoyed it. I was getting excited to set a day aside and let the six hour review of Tokimeki Memorial watch over me and reduce me to dust.

And it sure did. That six hours was a harrowing experience. What Tim Rogers is best at is telling a story, and so to go through a let’s play was a wish I never made, fulfilled. In the end, I was left with nothing and everything. It was like finishing a really good book.

I wanted to watch it again, then again I never wanted to watch it again. It was almost a traumatic experience. Tim talked about there being endless variation of love, and the love Tim Rogers went through was not the fluffy yet melancholic one that I craved, but one akin to a devotion of an eldritch god. Love made in justification for one’s efforts in attending and maintaining a relationship. A love stronger than most kinds of love, but most draining and taxing as well. Tim Roger’s synopsis of Tennis Monster reminded me of Asking for It by Louise O’Neill, which is also about empathizing a quite hateable character because we kind of have to. Apparently one person knows the full plot because Tim Rogers rambled on about it as he was couch surfing in his house, and unbelieve as it usually is, I fully trust that the commenter is telling the truth.

I was like a heroin addict, who really wanted a different hit, like talking to friends or hiking, my mother wanted me to go hiking with her, and I didn’t because, after the pandemic started, all I wanted to be was inside. Outside felt diseased. The air outside felt contaminated to me, hard to breathe. I was stuck in this place.

Tim Rogers is an exceptional figure. He seems to be a movie protagonist, he reminds me of The Librarian, played by Noah Wyle. Tim has eidetic memory, as he has access every single autobiographical memory formed, but not other types of memory. We know that those types of memory are different because of people like Tim and people who are opposite of Tim, someone who has no memories of autobiographical memory but otherwise fine. These people tend to have very few emotions and have a hard time deciding things. Lack of emotions is correlated with difficulty in decision making.

So Tim is the opposite of that, Tim is full of emotions, complex emotions and he can make decisions and carry it out in a snap. He would be good at school, and he was, but he would be too focused on his grandeur to be under some authority, which is how he became who he was. His anti-authoritarian nature rings throughout his reviews, highlight the general Generation X vibe that Tim exudes but also the modern socialistic movement of Generation Z, which adds to this odd mix of old and new.

Not only does Tim have eidetic memory and intense work ethic that he never seems to move away from, therefore making a three hour video masterpiece at a clip that seems unbelievable for a seasoned viewer, he also has exceptional skills in fast math and language, he seems to be at least familiar with dozens of languages, and of course Tim’s experience is bounded by his decade of living in Japan.

I think this is why Tim naturally gravitates towards video games. When Tim says ‘welcome to video games’ there’s a natural supposition that Tim Rogers is the protagonist of video games, and I think he is. Tim wants to be in video games, because he needs to be in video games, instead of some almighty god cruelly deciding to plop him into a real life. He should be an video game adaptation of The Librarian and go on world-spanning adventure and romance impossibly beautiful girls instead of toiling the grime of what real life portends to. His life is dramatic, but impossibly mundane as well. It’s a simulacrum of a movie or a video game, which is pretty cool on its own.

But of course Tim Rogers isn’t the only part of Action Button Reviews. In the ensuing five videos, Tim Rogers tries to do something. Video games are a wide net. There is so much to video games, something like Gone Home and Geometry Dash are included alongside Wolfenstein The New Colossus and Farmville. What makes a video game? Actually, the more interesting question is, why do we have the term ‘video games’? Why do we put all of this mess into a single category, as if there is some throughline.

Tim Rogers starts to do that. Tim Rogers boldly states that things like Doom and Tokimeki Memorial are intimately connected to each other. And that all video games are in conversation with each other, through deep and complex meta-narratives. Tim Rogers is a cartographer, trying to map out how video games are made whole.

I’ve always strived to be that kind of a cartographer, to showcase the weave of reality, of connecting two seemingly unconnected parts, and showing to a profound implication both existing, instead of one or the other. If you don’t know, I have been trying to write something out of my current obsession with Virtual YouTubers, and mostly Hololive, and while I think I stumbled upon the six hour video review of Tokimeki Memorial outside of my interest in virtual YouTubers, this video, as I expected in the back of my head, gave me plenty of thoughts about Hololive. Its rumination of cyberpunk and idol culture is so directly connected with the peculiarities of Hololive that I was quite astounded.

From the very beginning, I wonder how Tim Rogers thinks about Hololive, especially after he has done that six hour review. I’m sure he will have a lot of interesting thoughts about the prospect. I want to get in contact with him, maybe work under him. But then I don’t want to hang out with him. I want to be near him as he talks to a crowd at a party, but I don’t feel safe to be near him when there’s less than ten people nearby. I think below ten, I would be swept in some danger that I won’t be prepared for.

Tim Rogers and Action Button Review is a fascinating review series and if you have the time, I suggest you should take the journey. It’s well worth it, just to get a different perspective on video games and the world around it.

#action button #tim rogers #video games #web video #review

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charmedseoull · 4 years ago

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The Aftermath of Fanfiction Authors with Reba Interview

Before You Read the Interview

I contacted Reba after she posted a Reddit thread titled “When a fic becomes too popular and the author deletes their account and/or work. Explained.” on a throwaway account. We discussed details of the interview during December over email, then started the interview in January. This interview is not associated with a project and is its own independent work. Reba has chosen to remain anonymous.

She provides insight on potential reasons to why fanfiction authors abandon their work from the perspective of a fanfiction reader. She also answered general fandom questions and questions about herself so readers could understand her background.

Charmedseoul is a BTS-focused anonymous historian who documents fandom history using Fanlore. If you would like to be interviewed to help document perspectives in fandom, please contact her on Twitter @charmedseoul or on Tumblr @charmedseoull.

Parts of this interview have been edited with links to Fanlore and Wikipedia pages for understanding. Any information in [brackets] serves for further clarity for readers and elaboration of information.

Now presenting the interview with Reba, long-time fanfiction reader and participant in fandom:

When did you first join fandom culture?

I joined fandom culture in 2014. I feel like fandoms really peaked during this time. [Presence of SuperWhoLock and other Tumblr specific fandoms.]

What fandoms are you in? How have your experiences in them been?

I will be honest and say fandom culture isn’t for me- so I can’t say I’m active in any fandoms (I’m just a silent consumer) but growing up I was a fan of music artists mostly; Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande… I loved the IT 2017 movie adaptation for a long time (I still do), and early 2020 is when I got into BLACKPINK, then BTS. My experience with all of these has been good, and maybe that’s because I don’t see any of the drama and arguments online- but I don’t regret any of my past interests because they all made me happy at one point in time.

What do you like about fandoms?

What I like about fandoms is how happy it can make an individual; getting excited for a new music video, smiling at behind the scenes photos… it can bring someone a little joy if they are having a bad day.

What do you dislike about fandoms?

I don’t like stan culture at all; fandom drama, arguing on twitter with strangers to defend an artist who doesn’t even know you… it all seems toxic. While I'm sure healthy stanning does exist, I don't think it's easy to achieve at all.

How long have you been an ARMY? What are your opinions about the fandom? How has your experience in the fandom been?

I became an ARMY in early 2020 when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, so only a year. I really do like the fandom; ARMY is the only fandom I’ve seen where there are so many fans worldwide of all different ages, and that just shows how BTS and their music really is for everyone. There is so much BTS content that there’s never a dull day, so my experience in the fandom has been enjoyable!

Did you ever leave ARMY and take a break then come back?

I’ve never left ARMY, that being said, I’m a newbie and haven’t been here for long.

When did you first start reading fanfiction?

I have been exposed to fanfiction since 2014, but I wasn’t in any fandom back then and started reading fanfiction in 2017.

What do you think the purpose behind fanfiction is?

We mostly read for entertainment but there is definitely a purpose to fanfiction, as for all art. Fanfiction is a great thing for both reader and writers, it can be an outlet for many people, a way to experience things that you don't have a chance to experience in your own life. It also can be a good base ground for people who want to start writing, or for someone who finds reading huge paperback novels difficult. Fanfiction is so easily accessible, you can pull up a story to read or share your work at the press of a button.

As you’ve read fanfiction over the years, do you feel like anything about fanfiction has changed?

Yes! Fanfiction is taken a lot more seriously now, people who write fanfiction treat it like an actual novel with plotting and editing- the quality of fanfiction in general is a lot better. Fandom ships have also changed; when I was a teenager Harry Styles fanfictions were crazy popular, now the fanfics that seem to be more popular are BTS! So that just shows when music evolves, pretty much everything else does too.

As a reader, how do you view authors?

I'm always amazed by fanfic authors because they practically write whole novels for free. Writing can be such a personal thing, and it does take talent; there is a story the author wants to convey, and when a story is told in a beautiful way, it leaves a lasting impact on the reader. I’m sure that must be a euphoric feeling for the author- it means they told their story, and they did it well.

Do you think many other readers share the same view as you?

No, not at all. There are readers out there who don’t really think about the time and effort authors put into their stories. I’ve seen readers expect so much, and criticise something so little. It’s sad- people should be able to write whatever they want, writing is supposed to encourage creativity. Authors shouldn’t have to fear backlash for doing just that. Being creative.

Why do you think so many authors delete/orphan their work after it gains popularity?

When a story gains popularity- it attracts good and bad attention alike. Unfortunately the negative affects us a lot more, it’s just human nature. While authors do put their work out there, I don’t think they are ever prepared for their stories to become so popular. I am sure it is overwhelming and that’s why authors feel the need to distance themselves from it all and delete/orphan their work.

What stories prompted you to start thinking about why authors delete/orphan their works?

I read a story called mixtape (IT movie) and I was around long enough to see chapters be uploaded each week. I also saw the struggles the author went through when their fanfic began to rise in popularity, which eventually led to the story being completely deleted from the internet. So I thought this could have been a one-off since I hadn’t read many fanfictions. I then moved onto BTS fanfiction and decided to read the most talked about ones first, only to see a lot of them were by orphaned accounts (so not just a one-off occurrence!). House of Cards by sugamins was the one that got me thinking, I thought “why would somebody not want to be associated with this amazing writing?!” That’s when I began to do some research and stumbled across your interview with the author!

How do you think backlash for a work harms an authors mental health?

An immense amount of feedback, positive or negative, can take a toll on one person. A lot of authors can be reserved people and they write because they are passionate, as an outlet or just a hobby. So when their work does receive backlash it can be very upsetting- it could make them doubt their reasons and capabilities and affect an author so much they might stop writing all together.

How do you think some authors manage their mental health and not delete a work?

This is a hard question because everyone deals with backlash differently. I know some authors who are not bothered by backlash and they choose to ignore it and move on with their day, and then there are other authors who are more anxious and have to put a lot of measures in place to protect their mental health; from your interview with sugamins they explain how they didn’t want to destroy their work, just distance themselves from it, so that’s always an option.

Taking time away from social media and getting enough rest, it is important to not neglect your well-being. Finding a way to cope when you feel low; animals tend to ground me and improve my mental health- they are loving and don’t judge you for who you are. Maybe you cope by talking with friends, or listening to your favourite song. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps.

At what point with mental health do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

I think an author starts to consider deleting/orphaning their work when it completely consumes them. It is not healthy to be fixated on something that is no longer bringing you happiness, you need to let it go. If you are an author reading this, just know you are not your feedback, it doesn’t define your existence, okay? Fanfiction should add to your life, not take away from it.

Why do you think some readers invade an authors privacy?

Sometimes, people care more about the author than the work they have created. So when a fanfic has deeply touched a reader and helped them through so much, they want to reach out in any way and tell them so- this can be invasive if the reader is not careful about their approach.

How do you think authors manage this privacy invasion?

Stopping it before it happens; not using your real name, having a separate account for writing, don’t link social media accounts in your works etc. If privacy has already been compromised and a reader is making the author uncomfortable, then disabling comments on their works, making a new social media or changing their accounts to private would be smart. Just knowing how to keep safe online.

At what point with privacy invasion do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

When you are at risk of being doxed. I think when readers are going as far as finding authors’ personal accounts and messaging their friends- anything along those lines is scary and the reader is going from a supporter to an intrusive stranger real fast.

Why do you think anonymity is important for fanfiction writing?

When your full name is attached to everything you do, people have a very easy way to get back to you. This is why authors keep an anonymous profile, and it is important readers respect that. Most authors don’t want their family, friends, employer etc to see that sort of stuff. It is completely okay to remain professional and keep fanfiction writing separate from personal life.

Do you think fanfiction writing should stay free? Do you think authors should be paid for their work?

I do think fanfiction writing should stay free on the sites they originate from (AO3 for example). However, if the author wants to take their work elsewhere to earn money then I don’t see an issue in that. I am glad you mention copyright law with fanfiction in particular because the author of mixtape (the fanfiction I mentioned earlier) tried to self publish their work while keeping canon names, the author tried to justify it as a parody work and everyone was so concerned that they reported the book until it got removed. I have seen stories on Wattpad become published books to purchase, however, the names had been changed to original characters- I think this seems like a much more logical move to avoid any legal repercussions.

As a reader, how has an author’s work connected with you personally?

I have had works connect with me on a personal level, one in particular is Somebody To Love by LOVERVMINS (orphaned). My standards are impossibly high after reading that fanfic and I don’t think I will ever come across something so beautiful again. Somebody To Love is a taekook fic that was uploaded to AO3 in 2019, the author ended up deleting all their works but thankfully left this particular story up. I was immediately captured by the incredible writing and unique plot; the story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway… I apologise in advance for how long this summary (with spoilers) is, but I think my thoughts are proof of how this story has connected with me so much!

(Spoilers for Somebody to Love by LOVERVMINS. Please feel free to scroll to the next bolded question to avoid spoilers.)

In this story, Taehyung is a successful lawyer while Jungkook is just a student, despite the difference in status and wealth, they are intrigued by one another from the very start. After meeting Taehyung, Jungkook is left feeling confused about himself, the internalised homophobia is strong to begin with but as the chapters progress Jungkook goes from someone who is afraid of society and what people may think, to strong and outspoken. Taehyung plays a fundamental part in this, because if Jungkook were to never meet Taehyung, he wouldn’t have realised who he really was, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to discover his sexuality and fall in love in a time where it was so unaccepting. Taehyung is bold and confident on the surface, giving little regard for anybody other than himself, but his concern for others soon changes after he meets Jungkook, he becomes a better man. He could have had his heart desires- but Taehyung was no longer selfish from those few months he spent with Jungkook, so he stayed with his wife to be a good father.

Taehyung makes Jungkook promise him he will find somebody to love (hence the title), and he does, Jungkook finds somebody to love and he is happy- Taehyung finds this out when they unexpectedly meet a few years later, this is the final time Jungkook and Taehyung see each other… but knowing Jungkook is happy, leaves Taehyung happy.

There are different kinds of love, some last forever, and some just for a chapter of your life. It is clear Jungkook was Taehyung’s forever. And I don’t think Jungkook’s love for Taehyung ever went away, he just found another kind of love like he had promised. Jungkook had to live his life; he couldn’t wait for Taehyung, to leave his marriage in the unforeseeable future, or watch him raise his kids from afar, this shows that even if society were accepting, their circumstances were too far gone- if only they met sooner, or in another life. It makes you imagine a world where they could have been together, it makes you think beyond the story even when it’s ended.

It has been a month or two since I read LOVERVMINS work, and I still feel a pang in my chest every time I think of Taehyung’s letter for Jungkook in the epilogue.

Why do you think others think they have the right to know an authors personal information?

I think in this day and age, everything about a person is on show, so people just expect that sort of information from you. Authors appreciate feedback- but they don't know the reader, their family or what they do for fun. Vice versa. You only see a small glimpse into the authors life, and the stuff you see is what they feel comfortable enough to show. That should be enough.

Do you consider writing an art form?

I do consider writing an art form. Writing is like painting an image in the readers mind. I think it is better than visual art because when you are reading a story, not everyone is going to envision the exact same thing, it is up to the imagination. I think that is what makes it so beautiful- we all collectively love a story, yet, we somehow interpret it differently.

Why do you think Archive of Our Own is the ideal platform for fanfiction writing?

I think Archive of Our Own is ideal for fanfiction writing because they give you many options with your work so you are comfortable- it is easy to remove comments, delete an account, or orphan works while keeping your account etc. It is important authors get control of what happens to their work if they want to leave and go in a different direction.

Do you think other fanfiction writing platforms like Fanfiction.net and Wattpad are ideal or lacking?

I think Wattpad is ideal for younger audiences; it’s more visual with book covers and the layout in general is more appealing, I also feel like the stories on there are targeted for pre-teens. When I first got into fanfiction, I did start on Wattpad because it was easier to navigate. I look back now though and do think it is lacking in terms of quality, a lot of the stories are written for shock value and don’t really make much sense because of that. It is hard to find a story on Wattpad that ticks all the boxes (but not impossible). Wattpad also had a breach with data last summer and everyone’s emails got pwned so that made a lot of people move to AO3. I have never used Fanfiction.net so unfortunately I can’t speak for that one. Overall, AO3 has much more content, you can find a story with ease once you know how to use the site.

How has fanfiction writing affected the people in your personal life?

How did you find out that your sister is writing fanfiction?

My sister wrote a Harry Styles fanfic in 2014 which gathered around half a million reads on Wattpad, she got comments from people telling her how much her fanfic has impacted their lives pretty much every day. My sister and I are close and we share the same friends, I noticed when we would have sleepovers she was always on her phone and never paid attention to the movies we were watching. I think all the numbers did affect her for a moment and it wasn’t until my sister started her exams that she realised she had to put her concentration into those to pass, that’s how she came to the decision to delete the story. I asked her recently if she regrets deleting it and she told me she doesn’t at all, she now looks back and doesn’t think her writing was good back then. So I think that shows authors do know what they’re doing and what is best for them in the long run.

My sister had a one direction fan account on Instagram that had 100k+ followers (insane!), she was always open with her interests and I found out she started writing fanfiction through that account.

What personal reasons do you think authors have for deleting/orphaning works?

The list is endless; maybe the author wrote the story in a bad time in their life and they want to delete it because it reminds them of that time, they could have left the fandom, or they simply do not like their story anymore- they grew up and know they can do so much better. It is okay for an author to grow apart from their work, it shows they are growing as a person too.

Why do you think authors get backlash from writing dark themes?

I think authors receive backlash from writing dark themes because it can be triggering for some and can bring up unpleasant memories.

What do you think are the responsibilities of an author when writing dark themes?

A safe bet would be to tag anything relating to abuse (physical, emotional, etc), mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, suicide, etc), graphic violence and rape/sexual assault. That’s what comes to mind. And if a trigger occurs only in a certain chapter, then having an additional warning in the chapter notes would be helpful.

What do you think are the responsibilities of a reader when reading dark themes?

If dark subjects are included in the tags, don’t read the story if it could trigger you. It is as simple as that. People decide to read the fanfic then get mad at the author for triggering them. I am not trying to insult anybody who has triggers, maybe they read a story and their specific trigger was never mentioned in the additional tags… this is what the ‘chose not to archive warnings’ box is for, with this option, it is handled in AO3’s FAQ that major tags are not necessary. In shirt, this means there may be triggering content in the fic that is not disclosed by the author. Plus, there is usually a pop up banner before you click on a story which reads ‘this work could have adult content. if you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content’. There are so many warnings, you can’t miss them. It is a case of reading at your own risk, you can’t blame the author if you do not like the result.

Do you think authors are facing too much pressure from readers about what themes they write?

I do think authors face unnecessary pressure with the themes they write; they are put on such a pedestal that when they write something that isn’t what the audience want, they receive a lot of negative criticism. Authors, no matter what themes you are writing, there is no need to worry if you are writing for yourself and putting out the content you set out to create.

Why do you think authors write dark themes?

Dark themes are simply an exploration of difficult emotions along with unpleasant events or consequences. Authors write dark themes because it serves a narrative purpose. And authors don’t have to be ‘dark’ people or experience all of these unsettling things to write such content.

Why do you think readers read dark themes?

Dark themes are not for everyone, I personally don’t think there are enough dark works out there. I read dark themes because it interests me more, I want to know how the characters are going to cope with the consequences, or heal from the trauma. Other readers might prefer dark themes for the graphic content, this is fine too. Fictional violence is not real- we all know this, so there is no reason to be terrified.

Why do you think so many authors want to have their work get popular?

People may disagree, but I think it has a lot to do with validation. Subconsciously, authors want people to like their work- a rise in popularity means readers are seeing the authors work, and hopefully taking enjoyment from it. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you realise validation does not equal self-worth. There are people out there who write and do not gain much attention, but that doesn’t stop them from posting their work anyway.

Do you think a work’s popularity is important?

I personally don’t. I read a range of fanfictions- some are super popular, others are not. It is the content I am more interested in, not how many hits/views it has.

Should we judge authors for deleting/orphaning their work?

Not at all! I am sure authors have thought long and hard before coming to their decision.

How should we view situations where authors delete/orphan their work?

For a reader, it can be upsetting when authors delete/orphan their work, especially if there is no possibility of reading that story again. However, we need to show compassion and view the situation from the authors perspective; gaining popularity on a fanfic isn't as pleasant as it might seem, it is much more complicated than that. A lot of feedback, both good and bad, can be overwhelming. Mental health is important, and if that means distancing yourself from something so popular, then it must be done. Privacy can be compromised, people in your real life might find out you write these stories and not be accepting, or readers become invasive which is a scary situation to be in. And a mixture of personal reasons, people are allowed to grow and change and want to distance themselves from things they are no longer proud of.

What do you think authors should be aware of in case their work does get popular?

This is a good question… I think authors need to be aware that with good feedback, also comes bad feedback. You cannot please every single person on this earth, but that is not your job- so do not take it personally.

Do you have any last messages to readers of this interview?

I want to thank you in particular, Charm. This interview is probably the coolest thing I’ll ever get to do for the BTS fandom and I’m so grateful that our paths crossed so we could create this interview together. You are such a kind soul and it has been a pleasure from start to finish.

For the authors reading this interview; I am just a reader, but I do understand how it can be hard for you to continue on when you are going through so many struggles readers don’t get to see. Just know you are appreciated, and you are supported no matter what you decide to do with your works in the future. Having popular works shouldn’t feel like a burden, there are blessings hidden in there- you have made readers feel a rollercoaster of emotions with your talent, you are able to engage with readers around the world, and you have created a beautiful story from nothing… you did that!

For the silent readers like myself: let the authors of your favourite work know how much you loved it (in a respectful way) before it is too late! I so wish I had the chance to tell the author of Somebody To Love how their story broke my heart then healed it again. Treasure the fanfictions you love because they very well could be gone tomorrow!

Thank you for reading this interview. Further below are reminders and information about this interview and Charmedseoul’s Fanlore projects.

Reba has chosen to remain anonymous. No social media or information about her will be released publicly.

This interview was conducted through email from January 31, 2021 to February 1, 2021 with Reba’s consent and protections under Fanlore’s Identity Protection policies and the posting website’s privacy policies. Unauthorized reposting of this interview is forbidden.

Due to the casual nature of this interview, repost of this interview is strictly prohibited. Linking and sharing is appreciated. Translation and unauthorized repost of this interview is forbidden.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #fandom #fandom meta #fandom interview #fandom interviews #fanlore #charmedseoul #charmedseoul interviews #fanfiction #fanfiction author #fanfic #fanfiction meta #fanfic meta

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almguav · 5 years ago

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i wanna take the piss outta mr enter’s response to the response of his rise review cause WOW i can only laugh at it fglkfjlkgf Screencaps are pretty small so here’s the original twitter post for the better quality and the whole post as well

whoa whoa WHOA GUYS!! Things are getting EDGY in here!! Watch out!!

Why does he make it out that rise’s premiere was a fucking train disaster?? The first ep serves as a big set up for the season (as any show premiere would?) so rise introduces: their version of these characters, yokai, the yokai underground/hidden city, how the boys get their mystic weapons, the main antagonist, and finally the set up for the plot in which draxum’s laboratory explodes and the oozequitos are set free. Yes the pacing was too fast since rise had a lot of concepts to introduce us to, but given that these are re-imagined characters that have had 30 years of lore behind them; Rise makes sure to let the viewer know most of the new changes in the first episode so when we go through the other episode we aren’t thrown for a loop or get confused. The only thing I can find legitimately bad about this episode is that the bodyguard yokais arent ever seen again, nor do they establish who they are or how they relate to mayhem or draxum.

Does mr youtube man ever say this is the problem though? No lmaoo, he just says its bad and mediocre with no explanation. Like if he personally found it boring or unable to keep him watching then that’s his problem. He doesn’t need to ‘justify’ his feelings by saying the premiere was so bad it killed his dog or some shit. Like my god, really, what was so bad about it? That things are different now? That it doesn’t carter specifically to your tastes? Grow up.

Okay. This paragraph is *chef kiss.* First he thinks Splinter calling his son a nickname and saying he’s funny is one of the 7 deadly sins - BUT HE THEN GOES TO COMPARE SPLINTER TO PETER GRIFFIN DLFKJDFLKDJFLDKGJFLD I HOLLERED YALL FKDLFKD. Lastly he contradicts himself by saying Splinter’s character needed foreshadowing for someone as great and cool as him to ever care about a stinky rat man 🤢 When the show fucking bashes it’s viewers over the head that Splinter has more going on to him. Not only the constant parallels and hints of splints being lou jitsu, but the first episode shows us that splinter has a portal device to the hidden city. Cause yeah - any character that doesn’t have a shady past is just carrying around a mystical thing like that. Yup! It was impossible to see any foreshadowing. I gotta laugh.

Dude called rise less action packed than it’s predecessors... Alright get the Ls in chat ready for him. Rise is more lighthearted and comedy based, but it still has action in every single episode. Just because the boys aren’t constantly fighting bad guys doesn’t mean theres no action. Like the ep he mentions, Down With The Sickness, just because there isn’t a full on battle doesn’t mean the action in that ep doesn’t count as action?? Anyone, even someone like him, can figure that out.

Oh my god, I have never seen anyone act like such a brat! Can’t even admit the animation is good without instantly backhanding it. He’s so scared to give this show a compliment its fucking hilarious dlfkjdlfk Also, secondary animation is stiff? I’d like to see that, cause I haven’t. There’s whole ass accounts that showcases rise’s non-action scenes and the animation still goes out of way to be flashy and visually appealing. But again, this guy only watched less than 5% of the series so of course he doesn’t know what he’s talking about 🙄

The guy can’t even watch his own videos to get his info right, makes so much sense. Also Raph’s and Mikey’s weapons are the weapons the respective characters used to train in the original comics, the hell do you mean “it’s a great disrespect to the franchise”?

I like how he hints at revisiting the review. You’ve done enough, keep away from the show for god’s sake.

Also, for the perfect summary of his childish attitude - he compares rise’s fanbase to the time steven universe fans drove an artist to suicide just because we said his claims were wrongly informed and that he didn’t do his job right, (both of which are true). We were so mean to him we must of made someone kill themselves before, yeah that’s a totally normal conclusion to come to after being fairly criticized. My god.

The whole thing is astounding to me honestly. I know I just wrote a college thesis about this, but really, this guy doesn’t deserve any more effort. He has little to no ground to say anything about the show cause he didn’t watch the series and he didn’t care about giving the show a fair chance in the first place. Finally, given this response he clearly can’t handle this maturely, nor could he evaluate the critiques people have said about it and instead doubles down to keep this edgy look - cause that’s more important than being a respected and credible reviewer, apparently.

#long post #suicide mention #tw suicide #almtxt #rottmnt

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theuniversitychallengereview · 4 years ago

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UC 50.30 - Imperial vs King’s, LDN

There is a large amount of variation in the - I was going to say quality, but I don’t think what I’m talking about has a direct correlation with quality, per se - let’s go with ‘overzealous creativity’, that I put into each edition of this blog. Sometimes its a simple rundown of the episode in question with a few jokes (hopefully) flung in there, but sometimes I’ll do something as monumentally silly as last week’s post, where I tried to do the whole review in the style of a viral video. I have no real notion of how well it went other than that I had great fun writing it, but whenever I do one of those “high-concept” (please view those quotation marks as sarcastic) posts I feel like I should try and one up it the next time out.

The only problem is that I don’t know what I could do that would be more silly than pretending University Challenge was a Parish Council Meeting. So I have to go in the other direction, and tone things down a bit. Basically, what I’m trying to say here is: don’t be too sad if this review isn’t all that exciting. I used all (well, most of) my nonsense up last week.

With that in mind, here’s your first starter for ten...

As I established in the revised version of a previous post, Imperial is no longer a constituent college of the University of London, so while this remains a local derby, it is not an intra-institution derby like its Cambridge-on-Cambridge and Oxford-on-Oxford equivalents. Still, there is a lot riding on this, because whoever loses will become the first quarter-finalist to go home. Imperial lost to Warwick a few weeks ago, and King’s to Balliol, so both sides need this to be the first of two wins at this stage.

Going into the match I had Imperial as the slight favourites, due to the transformation over lockdown of Captain Michael Kohn into one of the most formidable buzzers left in the competition, and the fact that the combined score in all three of King’s matches has never topped 270, indicating perhaps an easier calibre of opposition thus far.

King’s Captain Jackson takes the first starter with salt, and they take two of three bonuses on Long Novels. They knew that The Order of the Phoenix was the longest of the Harry Potters, but they were not required to know that it is 766 pages, which is one of the random facts I have always remembered (though of course that doesn’t mean that they didn’t also know it)

Imperial’s Kohn strikes back on the next starter, picking up a Jackson guess of Musketeer with D’Artangnan (going to leave that spelling in incase I’m right, but I suspect I’m not). They grab a full set of bonuses, and Marrow is delighted with herself for getting the next starter, recognising an experiment to determine the density of the Earth using a mountain. Another treple follows to give them a perfect 8/8 so far.

Triggs hits back with the first picture round, a classic UC flags set. Kohn then drops five with an overconfident neg of Don Juan, which allowed King’s to take back the lead. The game is moving along at a lightning pace (3x10^8 m/s if you’re wondering), and Rahman uses some more GSCE physics knowledge to calculate the distance travelled by a projectile.

The Imperial skipper is able to make up for his earlier neg by picking up the pieces from one of Trigg’s - identifying Aggrippina where his King’s counterpart had merely given Aggrippa (again, I’m going to leave these spellings to see if I’m right. And yes, it has occurred to me that this is an utterly moronic plan to be executing, but I’m going to stick with it). He cracks out a great line in the music round when they don’t recognise Johnny Cash - ‘We’re going to get killed for this on Twitter’ - though to be fair to him he did know Aretha Franklin within a few seconds.

A second neg from Triggs, this time on the US constitution, leaves him banging his head off the table (albeit very slowly), as Rahman swooped in to give Paxman the 2nd Amendment (in place of his 3rd). Imperial are now sixty points clear, but there is maybe just enough time for a comeback for King’s.

Weaver (I can’t believe I’ve only just noticed this, Jackie) gets the next starter to give them a chance, but Kohn continues his imperious form (one of the rare occasions when the name of a University also has to potential to provide an appropriate adjective) with his fifth (possibly sixth) starter of the night, and that was probably that for King’s.

A rampant Imperial had fun in the last few minutes, with some very early buzzes and impeccable bonus-work, including the highest number of bonus-interruptions I’ve seen for some time. Kohn takes another few negs at the end in an attempt to break the starter record, but it doesn’t matter, and he looks like he was having a great time.

Final Score: Imperial 265 - 95 King’s, LDN

Kohn looks better and better with each passing match, and with that performance (the second highest score of the series!) you wouldn’t bet against them in the quarter-final knockout. King’s simply couldn’t handle him, but the QFs is no shameful stage to go out.

I don’t know why, but I typed out kind regards there, so I’ve obviously had a tough day at work. I’ll see you next week for Balliol/Durham.

Best wishes

#university challenge #bbc2 #imperial #kings #University of London #Jeremy Paxman

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k0mmentary · 4 years ago

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November Playlist

In no particular order, here are the 20 songs on my November playlist (with a few thoughts thrown in). Any song recommendations for me? Let me know!

WAVE - Limesoda

I found this song through mera’s video and fell in love right away. It has this sort of melancholic quality I really enjoy in gg music in particular, and the “no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-more” has been stuck in my head for weeks.

Bad Idea - Moonbin & Sanha

Now this is a proper sub-unit! The song is so good (let’s go funky guitar!), the styling was immaculate, and these two paired together really nicely. I wasn’t waiting for the rest of ASTRO to pop out any moment, and I never felt like Sanha or Moobin overpowered the other. 10/10 comeback (or is it a debut?).

Why Not? - LOONA

Why Not? is what I wanted So What to be. Especially the last section post-bridge, the instrumental develops a really nice momentum and a layered-quality that makes the emptier beginning of the song feel worth it. I have no clue what is going on in the LOONAverse but I like this musical direction for them. Plus Yves is hot.

We Lost the Summer - Tomorrow x Together

I found this pandemic song to be charming and genuine rather than empty. I’m not a high school student, but I do work with teenagers (and just graduated uni spring of 2020), so I could relate to this a lot. Plus I appreciate the dichotomy of the funky, summery instrumental and the lyrics.

I CAN’T STOP ME - Twice

I pretty much like every Twice title track, and this was no exception. I wish they had committed a little more to the retro aesthetic, and the denim outfits were personally offensive to me, but this song has nice energy and flows well from one section to another.

positions - Ariana Grande

I don’t particularly care for the lyrics or message of this song, but the melody is perfection and Ari’s voice is beautiful.

Kill V. Maim - Grimes

This song got me through the more stressful moments of the US presidential election. I found it from a WWX edit on twitter (if u know, u know...) and that makes the listening experience 10x better, ngl.

Grow - HOAX

I think I found this on Tik Tok? But the lyrics (”don’t you want to go outside?”) have felt relevant in my darker quarantine moments.

ALIEN - Lee Suhyun

Her voice is so, so lovely, and this song has that melancholy quality I won’t shut up about. I also really appreciate that this doesn’t sound like an AKMU reject and let’s her establish an identity as a soloist. I loved the styling and the MV, too!

BETTER - Twice

Twice’s earlier Japanese releases were major no’s for me, but everything from Breakthrough until now has been exactly to my taste. BETTER sometimes feels a little disjointed or rushed, but it has all the qualities of a Twice song I will enjoy, so...

Maze in the Mirror - Tomorrow by Together

This remains my favorite TXT song, so it’s pretty much always on my monthly playlists. I find this song to be soothing and easy to listen to but not without momentum (I am generally not a fan of slower or acoustic ballad-y songs). The more stripped-down production highlights the vocal blend of the members well, and I think the song builds to a satisfying conclusion.

Black Mamba - aespa

I was pleasantly surprised by this song! I think the girls’ vocals are nice and the chorus is satisfying, especially when paired with the visuals of the choreography or music video. I’m not super compelled by the whole avatar concept, but I’m excited to see where SM takes this group nonetheless.

So Bad - STAYC

I love this song. It took a few listens for me to get into it, but now I cannot stop singing the chorus. There’s nothing particularly revolutionary about this song or the concept, but it’s a pretty classic gg formula executed well.

Blue Hour - Tomorrow x Together

Okay I promise I didn’t realize how much TXT was on here until I started typing it out. More on this here.

How You Like That (Cover) - A.C.E

If you haven’t heard this cover, literally stop reading this and go listen to it right now. If there’s one thing A.C.E is gonna do, it’s sing. Donghun is one of my favorite vocalists in kpop (important video for reference), and the harmonies they hit in this cover...oof. HYLT is one of my least favorite Blackpink releases for a whole host of reasons (and this cover didn’t really do a lot to change my perspective on the original) but it is such a rare display of killer vocal technique and actual singing uncomplicated by choreography or complicated stage manoeuvres. This cover actually made me bust out the old YouTube to mp3 converter, that’s how good it was.

MAGO - Gfriend

They are hot, disco is fun, bury me in any of their stage outfits this comeback. Also Yuju on the pole???? hello???????

Blue Orangeade - Tomorrow by Together

This is just embarrassing at this point. This song is pure serotonin tho and let’s be honest...we need it.

Sorry Mama - DKB

This is an early 2020 release I only recently stumbled upon. The MV is perfectly passable, and the chorus lyrics do feel a little silly, but the juxtaposition of whoever is singing the backing vocals and the tense, almost growled delivery by DKB’s members is great. This instrumental isn’t overly full, either.

Dis-ease - BTS

My favorite track from BTS’ most recent release, this song is a little like Why Not? in that the second half makes the first half worth it. I love BTS with all my heart but haven’t been compelled by a lot of their recent stuff; this song was a pleasant surprise upon first listen and has only grown on me since then.

#playlist #txt #bts #dkb #gfriend #a.c.e #stayc #aespa #twice #lee suhyun #hoax #grimes #ariana grande #loona #moonbin and sanha #limesoda #kommentary #november 2020

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jackdawyt · 5 years ago

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With it being the start of 2020, I figured there's no better time to talk about what we know about the future of Mass Effect so far, and the potential of witnessing this hit Sc-Fi franchise make a return.

So, kicking this off, I think the first thing we need to clarify is the fact that Mass Effect isn't dead, it's quite the contrary - in fact, according to Jason Schrieier, the franchise is warming back up. (1) In Jason Schreier's 2019 report on "The Past & Present Of Dragon Age 4" shared by Kotaku, Jason said a few things about the future of Mass Effect, having written that after Mass Effect was "put on ice in 2017" following BioWare's release of what many considered to be a disappointing entry with Mass Effect: Andromeda, the next game in the franchise "has since been warmed back up". However, it's currently unclear at this point in time as to how far along in development the supposed new game in the science fiction series actually is. (2)

And if that's not enough for you, well let's talk about Casey Hudson, the original Game Director of the Mass Effect trilogy, and the General Manager at BioWare. He wants you (personally) to know that Mass Effect is his “baby”, and the team at BioWare has been dreaming about many future concepts for where the franchise can go next.

Over the past two N7 Days, Casey has reiterated the same point that Mass Effect games will continue on, and the team at BioWare are constantly thinking about where the franchise will go next.

Which brings us to the next Kotaku report, according to Jason Schreier's late-2019 expose' in-which he uncovers the plans for a reboot of Anthem, "the next Mass Effect game is in very early development at the Edmonton office under director Mike Gamble, a longtime BioWare producer." (3)

So, Mass Effect as a franchise is indeed not dead, and a new game is currently in deep pre-production.

Mike Gamble has been working at BioWare on the Mass Effect team since Mass Effect 2, he's certainly the perfect developer to be helming the ship of a new Mass Effect project. Under Casey Hudson's management, both of them are original Mass Effect developers and understand what makes Mass Effect great.

Last N7 Day on Twitter, both Mike Gamble and Casey Hudson shared that they're incredibly excited about the future of Mass Effect (4) Mike asked everyone "where do you want Mass Effect to go in the future?" Showing that BioWare are certainly looking to the fans in terms of what they'd like to see for a future title. (5)

Casey dropped a few concept art shots from the original trilogy on Twitter, saying that "We have so many ideas for things we want to do in #MassEffect, so much concept art that hasn't yet been brought to life, and so many stories yet to tell." (6)

Once more proving that plans are being pushed ahead for a new Mass Effect project. Another big tweet from Mike Gamble came out of an Anthem E3 discussion. Mike skipped attendance of last year's E3 conferences when someone said they'd loved to have met him, he replied saying: "oh you can bet I'll be there next year......." (7) Huge emphasis on the ellipsis there, considering that Mike is the project lead for this upcoming Mass Effect game, and he's going to be at EA Play and E3 2020, this is a big tease for something Mass Effect related to be shown off this year.

Now, I don't want to assume what you're thinking, but I highly doubt that this could be the very early Mass Effect game that's in development. Perhaps they could be showing off some developer diaries of the pre-production stages of this project, but if any new, upcoming BioWare game is to be shown at E3 2020, it's got to be Dragon Age 4, with it's expected release window of at least April 2022. However, I do have another idea at what Mike could be specifically attending E3 2020 for, and that's to reveal a Mass Effect trilogy remaster.

We know that EA's 2019 earning call announced that we are going to see fan-favorite remasters come back, and in January, BioWare's posted a Mass Relay tweet relating to the first Mass Effect game and it's since kicked off an outcry for a Mass Effect trilogy remaster for current generation consoles and the Nintendo Switch. (8)

So, could this be the reason Mike is going to E3/EA Play? Are we finally going to be able to play the trilogy once more in HD quality on many different platforms? We're just going to have to wait and see until June.

And the final story we have comes from Forbes, in an article written by Paul Tassi, apparently Mass Effect, nor Dragon Age were mentioned in EA's 2021/2022 earnings call. Paul paints this as a bad thing because it means we won't be seeing these games for a fair while, or they've been canceled. This is far from the truth because, in their previous earnings call, EA stated that Dragon Age 4 would not be releasing any sooner than April 2022/2023. (9)

So, of course, if the next Mass Effect and Dragon Age games aren't coming out for at least another 2 years, then there's no reason to mention them in your earnings call. With that, we can expect the next Mass Effect title to release in no time soon.

Let me know what you're thinking about the future of Mass Effect, where would you like to see the series go from here, how could Mass Effect make an epic come back?

Sources in the video description!

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monkey-network · 5 years ago

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My Problems with Mr. Enter

This one’s gonna be a first for the channel. As much as I’m not the type to be talking about other people in detail, permit me if you will, to go on a rant about one of the most infamous youtubers in the cartoon analytical community.

To preface this, yes, I was a fan of Mr. Enter. Even after this post, I’ll say that I at least still have some respect for Enter regardless of his personal viewpoints. Honestly if it weren’t for him, probably wouldn’t have become an analyst myself. Then again, even as a fan, I can say that Enter wasn’t the greatest of youtuber both production wise and his critiques. Also, I understand that most of what I point out is that of his opinions, I’m just pointing out patterns from him that I’ve noticed from him and people’s ire towards him. Less to say, this has been a longtime coming, so let’s not beat around the bush

Negative to Nothing New

I think my biggest gripe with Enter’s philosophy of reviews is that he fell into this annoying well of believing that almost everything in a cartoon needs to be unique, having typical writing cliches and typical writing conventions down-trots the show’s quality for him. And I don’t have a problem with this in theory, I’m not a fan of conventional shows like family sitcoms and I’m only interested if they’re able to put a clever spin on the dynamic like with Bob’s Burgers. But the problem arises when he conveys what a majority can consider an average show as not great over simple tropes. His reviews nowadays feel more like Cinemasins and Lily Orchard where going to twitter and TV tropes is all you need to break down why a show or episode isn’t great.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with this on paper, but it gives off a “You’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all” mentality that many are no doubt not gonna vibe with because yeah, 100% originality isn’t gonna happen with every show you watch but even then, it always feels like any overused cliches/tropes are a bane to his experience, regardless of context, and has to accentuate that these shows aren’t great because they’re cliched. Like the Mighty B! is annoyingly bad because Bessie is the zany, clumsy goof like Spongebob and many like him or that it’s flash animated. Or the Rise of the TMNT ain’t great because Splinter’s the pathetic slob of a dad like FamGuy. Or 12 Oz. Mouse is bad because of it’s “lazy” style. Of course people aren’t gonna like that you bog ideas down to basics if they’ve seen that there’s more to them.

If there’s one thought I had since his Hey Arnold review, it’s that Enter basically wants every cartoon to be like Hey Arnold or shows he finds on par with it. And while there’s nothing wrong with that, I say he shouldn’t be so hard on his tastes to expect every show to not be any derivative of others. I’ve had my doubts on the Owl House and Victor & Valentino, thinking they’re Gravity Falls wannabes, but I’ve come to see them individually and judge them as they are, and I’ve come to like them as they are after a few episodes because reviews should be about seeing where a show finds its own footing. Not everything can live up to the best shows and that’s fine.

Negative to Nothing Admirable

I say he needs to produce more Admirable Animations. Not because I’m sick of him shitting on shows, but I feel he needs to give people more of what he wants from the animation industry. People are slowly turning on him because his negativity outweighs the positivity. Not saying he needs to force it, but I think people have gotten tired of him being spiteful towards things they like while not giving a better perspective on what he likes. Dude only has around 60 videos sharing what he thinks are truly great in his eyes, the 58th and the 57th Admirable video he made are almost a whole year apart. It’s clear he can see the good in some things, his review on ‘The Shell’ from Gumball is one of my favorites from him, but he does it so rarely that people will often overlook it in favor of only seeing him as the pissy cartoon critic.

And yeah, this is coming from a critical nobody that’s mostly tries to review things positively but it’s because I want to see the good of what I’m seeing while acknowledging personal or objective setbacks. When I created ‘The Best’ series, I did it because while I mostly review stuff I enjoyed, I try to share with people what I consider to be universally valuable to me.

Enter needs to take a break from diving into the Atrocities and if it’s difficult exploring the truly good stuff, that is the point. Finding the greatest works imaginable can take plenty of time, especially if you’re not ankle-beez levels of impressionable, but if he’s genuinely serious about being a critic while making his own show as a creator, he needs to make time.

Negative to Nothing Special

I’m not a fan of the idea of a “cartoon community” because I’m alone and evil, but I can see where things have changed since the cartoon community has grown past dogpiling on Teen Titans GO! and thinking The Emoji Movie is worst than the Emu war. In this era, I’d say the community wants to celebrate the good things that are coming out while giving people some insight on obscure media. Enter does the latter, but at the same time you get the feeling unless it’s something he wants to do, he won’t be as into it as we’d believe. I’d say if there’s anything about his whole Nick-O-Ramen marathon it’s that you could see him getting burnt out with it in the latter half during the 2010s era, especially when some of his takes on certain cartoons were not up to code and people were calling him out on it.

Said this before at the time, but he shouldn’t just treat a show as bad because everything about it didn’t click with him, especially when it seems he was making these reviews up as he gone on. He’s entitled to his opinions, but when his takes don’t add up they can either rile up viewers that saw more than what he did or fool people into believing his word. I don’t think all of his reviews were terrible, I honestly found his reviews on Catdog, MvA, and Mr. Meaty to be alright even if the 7 people that like Catdog might disagree. But with his takes on El Tigre, Rise of the TMNT, Tuff Puppy, and Welcome to the Wayne, it mostly sums to trying to blame the show for not being to his liking. Either that or condescendingly trying to say the show was alright, but doesn’t hold up as well. It doesn’t help that he essentially deflected the criticisms down to pure apathy. So when all is said and done, what were we to take away from all those reviews? Basically gave us pencils with no point beyond their existence. Compare this to his critique on Extra Credits, where it honestly felt like he was passionate in those videos. Or again, his Admirable Animation videos where he actually puts effort into sharing why he liked that stuff in particular.

As many I’ve seen said, stuff like his Nick marathon was a little more than he could chew and exposed how much he himself will insincerely generalize for the viewer base, all in bad faith. As a result, it’s tiring. He’s kinda the textbook example of “your face will stick if you frown too long.” You see one angry review from Enter, you practically have seen them all soon enough. Back then, it was alright. Now it’s cliched.

Conclusion

To put this into perspective, I don’t think Mr. Enter is the worst of Youtube; I’ve seen Moviebob and The Unknown Otaku. I don’t agree with some of his views both with fiction and reality, but I’m a big boy that can tolerate other people who aren’t actively terrible. When I get down to it, I feel Mr. Enter is shrouded in negativity and bitterness. Not just from his detractors or the shows he watches, but from a perceived outlook. Maybe it’s because while I’m evil and tired, I’m more optimistic, but I feel Enter needs a change in his critique game. He should put his grounding more into what he enjoys and less of what he needs to dislike because the hate he tries to preach has gotten tired and old at this point. I looked at his vid on Thundercats Roar and I just clicked off after a few minutes. Not because it was terrible, but it honestly was just parroting what other people have said on twitter as it came out. John has put more than enough time into screaming about how bad cartoons and society can be, I just believe showcasing more positive things can not only balance things out, but show people that there’s more to him than his bitching.

I know he won’t see this, but I just wanted to get this off the chest after seeing a 2 hour video on why he sucked a few months ago. And I felt rather than just calling him an erectile atrocity, I’d share my thoughts on Enter as a whole because I feel like he can do better with his content. Again, it’s not that he’s the worst out here, but he needs to stop retreading his old ruts. Dude needs to get out of his shadows.

#mysterious mr enter #mr enter #cartoon community #sorry for the rant n bant #mnky filler

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strangenewfriends · 4 years ago

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During a pivotal year of his solo career, Harry Styles has notched another monumental achievement: his first No. 1 single on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

As “Watermelon Sugar,” the standout track from Styles’ sophomore solo LP Fine Line, lifts 7-1 on this week’s Hot 100 tally, Styles tops the chart for the first time, after previously reaching a No. 2 peak as a member of One Direction. After starting his solo career with his classic rock influences on his sleeve, Styles has become a fixture at pop radio in 2020, with both “Watermelon Sugar” and “Adore You” becoming ubiquitous top 10 hits this year.

How shocking is the ascent of “Watermelon Sugar”? And what could the song mean for Styles’ future at the Grammy Awards? Billboard staffers answer these questions and more below.

1. On a scale of 1-10, how surprised are you that “Watermelon Sugar” is the song to finally give Harry Styles his first Hot 100 chart-topper?

Andrew Unterberger: Three months ago, it would've been a 10 for sure. Types of songs that don't usually go to No. 1 in 2020: fourth official singles, songs that have already dropped off the Hot 100 for multiple months after debuting, rock (or at least rock-based pop) songs. "Watermelon Sugar" was each of 'em, and even as recently as last week, I'd have been, like, an 8 about it going all the way to No. 1 -- even with a viral video, good audio-only streaming numbers and huge radio support, it seemed to have hit a ceiling outside the top 5. But a concentrated fan campaign and some good chart timing have put it over the top, and maybe I shouldn't be so surprised by that in 2020 after all.

Jason Lipshutz: I’d give it a 7 -- not because of any deficiency or quirk with the song, but because of its circuitous route to the top of the Hot 100 chart. Styles performed “Watermelon Sugar” for the first time on Saturday Night Live on Nov. 16, 2019, and released music videos for three other Fine Line songs before finally returning to it in May. That’s an incredibly slow burn -- to provide some context, “Watermelon Sugar” was released the same weekend as the ill-fated Charlie’s Angels reboot! -- and an unlikely path to pop ubiquity, to say the least.

Joe Lynch: I guess 9? It's super catchy and easy to get into, but it's just not the vibe of most 2019-2020 Hot 100 toppers – although given that Taylor Swift's "Cardigan" cozied up to the top slot last week, perhaps we're at a point in the pandemic where people are specifically turning to something that's a far cry from the top 40 norm for a break in monotony.

Lyndsey Havens: I'd say a 6. Three years ago (and still today) I thought that "Sign of the Times" could have and should have topped the chart, and then I thought that "Adore You" might finally do the trick. But people do say "third time's the charm" for a reason, and it makes sense that, after two strong top 10 singles, the continual growth of Fine Line well into 2020 and the strong promotional push, that this summer-ready, breezy pop-rock track has claimed the chart's top spot.

Stephen Daw: I'm clocking in at a solid 5 — it's surprising (to me, at least) that it took Harry Styles this long to log his first No. 1, but as soon as I heard "Watermelon Sugar," I was confident that, if a song off of Fine Line was going to reach the top of the Hot 100, it would be this one.

2. The success of Styles’ second album, Fine Line, has been one of the biggest stories in mainstream pop this year -- the album is still in the top 10 of the Billboard 200 chart eight months after its release. Why do you think Styles’ sophomore solo LP has resonated so well this year?

Andrew Unterberger: I wish I knew -- as do record company folks around the world, I imagine. It's a very good album and Harry is an extremely likeable star, but nothing about an album that feels largely like a tribute to '70s pop-rock and post-peak Paul McCartney would've struck me as an album to take him to that next level of stardom. He's just a star -- one with a big-enough gravitational pull to bend the mainstream to him -- and I won't underestimate him so easily again.

Jason Lipshutz: In 2020, artists like Dua Lipa, Lady Gaga, Selena Gomez and 5 Seconds of Summer have all released top-notch pop full-lengths... but I have returned to Fine Line more than any of them. Part of that has to do with its sense of uplift and enthusiasm during a particularly trying year -- shout-out to “Treat People With Kindness” for snapping me out of some grade-A funks -- but Fine Line’s songs are stronger than those of Styles’ self-titled debut, the pacing is immaculate, the hits are far more effective and Styles is more comfortable in his own, ‘70s-pop-channeling skin. Fine Line is part throwback, part comfort food, part magnetic artistic presence, and remains an excellent front-to-back listen.

Joe Lynch: I think he's in a great spot in his career: not only has his 1D fan base embraced his maturing sound (which, to be fair, isn't a tough sell – this is very accessible pop-rock), but his gender-bending, classic rock-worshiping fashionista persona has expanded his listenership beyond the realm of card-carrying Directioners. Plus, it's an album that's crafted to last: this is meticulous studio pop that mostly eschews the tiresome trends and tricks most producers feel obligated to slap on a recording to make it feel “contemporary.” Fine Line occupies its own lane instead of competing against two-or-three new sound-alike albums a month.

Lyndsey Havens: Harry is the "perfect" pop star: his One Direction past earned him a built-in (and very dedicated) fan base, he’s mysterious enough but generous with his content, queen Stevie Nicks has become his number one fan, and, of course, he delivered an album filled with fantastic pop-rock hits and ballads. When Harry Styles arrived, fans had to adjust to Styles' sonic pivot. But by the time he delivered Fine Line, both Styles and his fans had matured -- and those pop-rock roots he planted years prior were in bloom. There was no adjustment period, and in my opinion, that allowed Fine Line to be immediately and repeatedly consumed.

Stephen Daw: There's a lot to be said for Harry's massive, mobilized fan base, and for his status as a burgeoning pop auteur in the modern era. But I think both of those facts only help uplift the fact that Fine Line is simply a great album. The songs aren't pigeonholed into one specific sound, yet they retain this classic, pop-rock finish to them that passes the minivan test; there's something for parents and kids in all of these songs.

3. Styles’ other Fine Line hit, “Adore You,” peaked at No. 6 earlier this year, and comes in at No. 12 this week. Are you a “Watermelon Sugar” person or an “Adore You” person?

Andrew Unterberger: I think "Adore You" is the better song, but I'm glad that "Watermelon Sugar" was the song to get him to No. 1. "Adore You" was the dead-center top 40 single -- and even "Falling" could've caught some post-"Someone You Loved" radio spillover -- but "Watermelon Sugar" is just pure Harry. He couldn't have asked for a better, more validating single to affirm his superstardom.

Jason Lipshutz: Hard to pick one, but give me “Watermelon Sugar” for the higher sing-along quality. Watching Styles perform Fine Line in its entirety at the Forum in Los Angeles last December included an arena of fans shouting “Watermelon sugar, HIGH!” -- and this was before the song was a chart-conquering hit. I suspect “Watermelon Sugar” is going to be a euphoric live staple in the coming years, which gives it the edge for me.

Joe Lynch: Definitely "Watermelon Sugar,“ a perfect, laid-back summer jam that gently uplifts without ever demanding attention. "Adore You" is solid but tailored for a specific topic, whereas "Watermelon Sugar" is the kind of softly buoyant treat that floats well in a variety of contexts.

Lyndsey Havens: I find it interesting that the two songs off Fine Line to stick around the chart's upper echelon are a bit similar-sounding. One of my favorite things about Styles is the risks he'll take, best evidenced by his debut solo single "Sign of the Times,” but also by Fine Line tracks like "Lights Up," "Falling" and "To Be So Lonely." But that's exactly what makes me a Harry Styles fan -- he's no one trick pony (insert joke about him heading in more than one direction), and while "Adore You" and "Watermelon Sugar" may not showcase his range, they've both become Styles standards for me. But to finally answer the question, I have to go with "Adore You" for the lyrics alone. I mean.... how can you compete, or argue, when he pleads like that?

Stephen Daw: They're both excellent songs, but if I had to pick, I'm partial to "Adore You." Sonically, the groovy bass line and stylized guitar riffs hit me right where I live. Lyrically, I respond a lot more to the "strawberry lipstick state of mind" than I do to something that "tastes like strawberries on a summer evening." But they both have strawberries in there, so it's a win either way!

4. Styles is now the second member of One Direction to score a solo No. 1, following Zayn with “Pillowtalk.” If you had to choose one of the other members -- Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson -- to someday score a No. 1 single, who would you put your money on?

Andrew Unterberger: Can't say the prospects for any of them reaching the Hot 100's peak are looking particularly robust right now, but if I had to choose one, I guess I'd say Liam. He has connections throughout the pop world that could result in him finding his way onto the right collab -- with buddy Post Malone, perhaps -- to find his way back to the top. Rooting for Louis, though! Go Louis!

Jason Lipshutz: I’m going to zag a little and go with Liam Payne, who scored an unexpected top 10 hit with the Quavo team-up “Strip That Down” and has been trying to recapture that magic in the years since. Payne’s solo debut didn’t offer any other standout singles, but he’s proven capable of headlining a rhythmic pop single that sticks around at radio, and I wouldn’t be shocked if he does so again over the next few years.

Joe Lynch: That's a tough question, because I could see Liam or Louis hopping on a track as a featured artist that goes all the way to the top. But if we're talking primary credited artist, it's gotta be Niall Horan, who has demonstrated probably the most solid catalog and sonic cohesion thus far of those three. Not saying it seems likely, but then again, when Fine Line dropped, who thought "Watermelon Sugar" would sweeten up the top spot on the Hot 100?

Lyndsey Havens: Justice for Niall's "No Judgement"! I played that song a lot when it first came out. But I actually think it's a smarter financial move to bet on Liam Payne, considering his strategy of collaboration. He's worked with Zedd, Quavo and Alesso, among others, and I wouldn't be all that surprised if in another year or so he lands on a track -- or a remix -- that shoots to No. 1 for the star power alone.

Stephen Daw: While Liam is the only other member to get one of his songs into the Top 10 of the Hot 100, I'm putting my chips down on Niall. Heartbreak Weather turned out to be a pretty fun record, and I remain convinced that "Black and White" is going to have a second life (much like "Watermelon Sugar”)!

5. Finish this sentence: at next year’s Grammy Awards, Harry Styles’ “Watermelon Sugar” will __________.

Andrew Unterberger: ...be shut out. It may score Harry his first nomination or two -- either solo or with 1D -- but considering how the Recording Academy has given him the cold shoulder so far, and seeing how overlooked he was even among this year's VMAs nods, I don’t know if I see him taking home his first Gramophone for it. (Uh-oh, looks like I'm easily underestimating him again -- never mind, I say the song sweeps.)

Jason Lipshutz: ...be nominated for record of the year, and Fine Line will be nominated for album of the year, and justice will have finally been served to Styles, who has yet to garner a single nomination over the course of his career. Will either win? It’s too early to say, but I like Fine Line’s chances at this point.

Joe Lynch: ...sow seeds of discontent; the Grammys will continue to ignore Harry Styles, and the fans will unleash their exasperation on Twitter with the machine gun-rapidity of a cartoon character spitting out watermelon seeds.

Stephen Daw: ...probably get nominated for record of the year. It would be worthy of a spot in the song of the year and best pop solo performance categories as well, but something tells me that if one of his songs were to be nominated for those categories, "Adore You" stands a better chance. While it would be great to see Harry win, if he were nominated in this category, he'd likely be going up against the likes of Dua Lipa, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, The Weeknd and/or Megan Thee Stallion, and I just don't think he'd be able to clinch the ROTY win with that kind of competition.

Lyndsey Havens: ...still taste like strawberries on a summer evenin’.

#for the anon who asked #long post

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