#the very part of Greg that refuses to ever give up on the things that matter/on his path to good | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

honestlyfrance · 3 years ago

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SAMBUCKY BOOKMARKS

it’s fic yeah friday over at @fuckyeahsambucky so i wanna do a lil something something for the fandom :) check out my #fic rec tag for more!

enjoy the more than 50 fics listed here :) be careful of the tags!

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart by Lunar_Pull

Today is the day that Steve received an invitation to the love of his life’s wedding.

Philopatry by Areiton

"I want to be safe," he says. "But I'm not." "Then why come here? Why put me at risk?" Something flickers in his eyes, little boy lost and utterly cold, and it makes Sam want to give the dude a hug and also pull his sidearm. "I have no reason to hurt you," Winter says. "I don't want to hurt you," Bucky adds, earnestly.

farmhouse by Tazmaster

"You know, I think I'd want a farmhouse."

"A what?" Sam turns to look at him, slightly annoyed. This was the first thing Bucky has said in the past hour and a half they've been cramped in this god forsaken car. He had a knack for impulsively voicing his dumb thoughts at the worst times, but whenever you wanted to know what was actually going on in that head of his, he'd never say.

They were staking out the front gate of a large mansion, very much not a farmhouse. It was mind numbingly boring, being stuck in a beetle with absolutely nothing else to do than stare at the gaudy gates of some rich asshole.

"A farmhouse," Bucky repeats nonchalantly, "If we ever get out of this business, or you know, live long enough to retire maybe--- I want a farmhouse. With a lot of animals."

---

Bucky keeps talking about a farmhouse and it drives Sam crazy, that is until he finally asks why.

Employee Discount by bopeep for queenmab_scherzo

Sam Wilson doesn't love working in a store that makes him wear vanity-sized polos and breathe in clouds of men's cologne like the worst kind of GQ aromatherapy, but the view from his cash register across the mall to the Hot Topic and the sullen Dark Prince of Wallet Chains he loves to hate may just beat the minimum wage blues.

In warm water, swimming down by targaryen_melodrama

“Why are you hiding?””Tired.”Bucky raises an eyebrow. “So you decided to swim.”“So I decided to be alone.”Bucky’s quiet for a moment. “I can go, if you want.”It’s the last thing Sam wants.

I figured out what the slashes mean by Teaismycoffee

Sam, Steve and Bucky are all living together in a safe house. Bucky and Sam discover fan fiction written about them. Steve doesn't approve. Sam and Bucky are really into secretly reading fan fiction together, or maybe it isn't the fan fiction part they are really into.

Chicken Soup for the Soul by bioloyg

“S’not my bed time,” Sam says as he buries his face in Bucky’s upper arm. Bucky laughs. “Tough. You’re sick.” Sam lets out a loan groan and says, “But my bed is cold. I was so warm, why’d you move me?” “Because your neck would’ve hated you if I didn’t.” He tries not to be so amused by how fussy Sam is when he’s both sick and half-asleep. It’s cute. ~ A fic wherein Bucky takes care of a sick Sam.

two nights in L.A. by CapnWinghead

Bucky kindly volunteered Sam to be a groomsman for Scott’s upcoming wedding. Of course, that meant Sam and Bucky had to go to the bachelor party.

at the end of the war (what's mine is yours) by notcaycepollard

They don't talk about it: that's how it works.

I'd Like That by honestlydarkprincess

Sam has been up for over 24 hours and has been dreaming about his Coffee Caramel Fudge non-dairy ice cream since about the 18-hour mark. When he gets to the store, there's only one carton of it left and, unfortunately for the guy innocently holding said carton, Sam's not leaving without it.

Or, the one where Sam is sleep deprived, yells at a cute guy, and gets both ice cream and a phone number out of it.

Ready, Set, Date! by bioloyg

Bucky wants to sleep, Natasha wants to find him a date for Steve's wedding (so he'll leave her alone), and Sam is the best thing about this whole speed dating disaster. But, Sam's not in the speed date rotations - he's at a different table weathering through dates just like Bucky is. ~ "Three dates in, Bucky decides he has made one of the worst decisions in all of his life by coming here. His first date had been an attractive enough man by the name of Greg. He introduces himself as “The Big G,” to which Sam laughs at in the middle of introducing himself to his own date. Greg likes to talk about cars a lot, which is fine. Bucky also likes cars. The only problem is that Greg’s love for cars borders on… erotic."

We'll rise up free and easy by Sarsaparilla, woofgender

Steve and Natasha are away on a mission when Sam receives intel about the Winter Soldier’s location. When he follows the lead, Sam finds something unexpected—but despite his initial impression, it’s certainly not all bad. (Post-CATWS, not AOU- or CACW-compliant.)

__________ "'Jesus Christ,' Sam said, 'Are you planning on fighting an entire army?'

Barnes looked up from examining the sights of a sniper rifle. '...no,' he said, a little guiltily, and adjusted one of the--five? Six? guns he’d already strapped to himself."

love is in the air (i smell coffee) by Flora_K, hermionesmydawg

Sam Wilson - graduate student, part-time barista, part-time salesman, and full-time father - doesn't have time to sleep, much less date. At least, that's what he tells himself.

Up at Night by bioloyg for lunaaltare

With Halloween nearing, Sam is feeling more in the mood for a scary movie than usual. He'd never watch one on his own though, so he invites his roommate to pick one out and join in on movie night. or Prompt fill for Samtember ~ "It’s quiet for a while after that. Like always, the two of them start on opposite sides of the queen sized bed with at least a foot of space between them. And, like always, they drift closer to one another as time passes, though whether it’s habitual or instinctual Sam would never dare delve into."

flowers in darkness, the moon above the sea by 27dis

Sam enjoyed his job, really.

But, not when a certain person came in.

A quick detour and a sudden arrival by iwillnotbecaged for heuradys

He found Wilson shivering in the snow, left for dead. Sloppy.

You couldn’t trust the elements to do your job for you. They were rarely so obliging.

A mission gone awry, unexpected help, and close quarters makes for an interesting couple of days.

Don't lock the door on me by TuskFM

Sam’s desperately trying to sleep when he gets a visit from the Winter Soldier at three a.m., bleeding and asking for help. Sam’s not the kind of guy who let someone bleed out on his front door, even if the said someone threw him off an helicarrier and stole his wheel.

and i run, further than before by hermionesmydawg

"What do they call you?" Bucky carefully pulls out an equal amount of caramel and cheese kernels of popcorn and pops them into his mouth. "Birdman?"

"No."

"Captain Canary?"

"Hell no."

"The Winged Avenger?"

"Falcon, dammit, and I am not an Avenger," Sam snaps, and now he's kinda pissed because yes, it's a bird name. He didn't sign up for this kind of ridicule from an amnesiac assassin.

***

Basically, the 5 times Sam actually found Bucky and the 1 time he tried to hide from him. Don't tell Steve.

Exquisite Flavor by enchantedlightningwrites for honestlyfrance

W&M's Grand Corner's growing to be one of the popular restaurants in New York, where Sam Wilson works as a chef for his sister. A wedding's in a few weeks and he has no idea on what to do about it. Notorious for his picky taste and blunt reviews, Bucky 'Winter Wolf' Barnes pays a visit. Little did he know, food could really win one's heart and lands on his stomach.

He's a Beta, You Hear That? by 27dis

Reasons why Sam didn’t realize Bucky was courting him this entire time: 1. He is a beta 2. He is oblivious 3. He thought Bucky is way out of his league 4. He is a beta for fuck’s sake

See? It’s hardly his fault for not noticing it. Why was Bucky flirting with him anyw—

Oh. Oh.

Or; Bucky swore flirting with someone was never this hard before.

stay where we belong by glittercake

He doesn't know what the hell he's doing when he turns around and shouts, "Yo! You know what—" and Barnes turns on his heel in a flash, "It's getting late, man. Looks like rain."

Sam motions to the grey sky above, and Barnes follows his eyes beyond the hanging Willow branches. "Yeah? What are you saying?"

He's got that terribly smug look on his face, the one Sam can't stand but kind of misses when it's not irritating him. But mostly, he can't stand it, "Nothing! Forget about it!"

Arms Spread Out Wide, Turn Falling Into Flight by irisesandlilies

It was easy, nothing has ever been easy for Bucky. Except this, and that terrifies him.

Years in the making by glittercake

Bucky and Sam meet as two young soldiers, but the time is never quite right to make it anything more. Until it eventually is.

Sam refuses to let himself fall in love while he's deployed. Bucky pines endlessly for years about the prettiest bird he’s ever seen. Sam’s no better.

If At First You Don't Succeed by SonnyD

Bucky finally gains the courage to tell Sam about his feelings. He comes up with a list of methods to woo him that were bound to succeed. He didn't account for each and every one of them failing in unexpected ways. The five times that Bucky attempts to woo Sam and the one time that Sam returns the favour.

if i could take us back, if i could just do that... by safelikespringtime

Bucky laughed, cheeks flushing red, “I’m glad you didn't. Don't know what I’d do without my wingman.” Sam groaned, poking Bucky’s side, “That was awful.” Bucky laughed. “You couldn’t survive without me. We both know it.”

How right he was.

***

Sam dies. Bucky mourns.

Strawberries and Cigarettes always taste like you by winterscaptsam

There’s a sweet agonizing simplicity in leaving behind your safe haven, like the thrill of adrenaline, reaching the top of Everest, allowed to admire its beautiful icy view but with the everlasting fear of not making it back down. Maybe that's why it was a natural instinct for Bucky to reach out for the closest thing that felt like home, slowly then all at once falling for the sweet warmth of mahogany eyes, what soon became his safe haven.

Baked With Love by Siancore

Bucky Barnes’ family owns a bakery in a small town. High school has long been over, and Bucky is dying to move to the city to pursue a musical career with his band. And his future looks promising, if he can just persuade his father to let him leave his job behind at their struggling family bakery.

It is no secret that Bucky used to love baking with his father, but things change. He just can’t fathom wasting his life away watching rising dough and hot ovens. With his mind made up to leave, Bucky convinces his father to advertise for a replacement. While interviewing candidates to fill the position he has vacated, Bucky meets Sam Wilson: An easy-going guy who is as eager about baking as Bucky is about leaving. They bond over baking and become close. Love looks like it is ready to bloom between them if Bucky, in his haste to escape, does not ruin it.

Beneath this Crown by winterscaptsam

Sam traces his fingers from James’ hairline, down to his jaw, resting the pad of his thumb on James lips. He will let himself relish in this feeling. Not even the sculptors, painters or poets could carve their words and materials to accurately describe this.

“Do you think the history books will remember us?” Sam had once asked. And James’ words were made of the purest of golds, “my love, we will be legends for the children yet to come.”

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes' love story, one a prince and the other a knight.

make my body come alive (i've got a right to hurt inside) by notcaycepollard

The body is weak. The body is hungry and soft and human. He looks at himself in the mirror, the bones of his shoulders, his cheeks hollowed out from hunger, and he thinks, gentle, you didn’t deserve this.

safe like spring time by quidhitch

“I already told you it looks good. What more is there?”

“I don’t know, man, you’re gonna live here. I just wish I knew a little bit more about how that’s sitting with you.”

Sam knows Bucky feels fine. What Sam’s probably actually after is how he feels about the fact neither of them have anywhere else to go, not with Natasha dead and Steve wrinkly. Therapists. Even the good ones, always so circular.

“I like the terrace,” Bucky offers, mostly to appease him.

Airy Laundry by AmarieMelody

Sam watches what happens when Bucky buys a clothesline.

lucky by CapnWinghead

In retrospect, it took Bucky an embarrassingly long time to realize that everyone and Scott's mom thought he and Sam were dating.

not an end, but (the start of all things) by notcaycepollard

They keep driving, for lack of anything better to do. A mission, Sam had said, and maybe that's true; maybe wherever they're headed is the way out, the way up.

So You Run On Gasoline by 343EnderSpark, ABitNotGoodieBag, OriginalCeenote

Bucky may have bitten off more than he could chew with this job, he thinks, as he ambles along the sidewalk to the cafe after leaving campus. He is running off the fumes of exhaustion and hasn’t had more than 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the past week. Between his students and his thesis, he knows that it’s foolish to try so hard to hang on to his barista gig, but DC isn’t a cheap place to live and Bucky can’t live with other people.

Bucky is just trying his best, despite being a human disaster.

we could jump the state lines (we only get the one life) by notcaycepollard

It starts in Paris.

“You can’t steal things just because you like them,” Sam tells Bucky, feeling innately that this is a losing battle, and Bucky cocks his head to the side, considers Sam very thoughtfully.

“Really,” he says. “I’m stealing you, aren’t I?”

we were a fire with no smoke by notcaycepollard

Sam can’t help but roll his eyes. Take the boys out of New York but they’re still Brooklyn Catholics, that’s clear enough. Bucky catches the gesture, smirks hard enough Sam can see his eye teeth. It should be dangerous but he’s beautiful, pale and charming and recklessly easy.

“You wanna come in?” Sam asks, ignoring the noise Steve makes, and Bucky’s smile gets wider.

“Yeah,” he says. Steps up close to Sam. “I do.”

Peace Begins with a Smile by Siancore

Bucky just likes the way Sam smiles.

They're Good Drones, Brent by chase_acow

When Redwing becomes infected with an alien A.I., Sam has to balance the needs of the team with his own curiosity about his new partner. Redwing isn’t the only one acting strange, he also needs to get to the bottom of Bucky’s weirdness. It takes a training exercise gone wrong that Redwing and Sam might not survive for their secrets to be exposed.

Wet Asphalt (This Is What Love Is) by ObviouslyOtter

Soft words in the dark tell us all we need to know about love. Better when they come from the person you need to hear it from most. It's crueler when you don't realize it till afterward.

Sam and Bucky go out shopping for candles.

i'm gone by bi_marvel

After infiltrating a Hydra base, Sam and Bucky are sent to a safe house, and there's only one bed. Oh, golly, I wonder what will happen!

Covert Coffee & Flirtation Special by glittercake

The reporter says "—for Captain America to—"

And Bucky rolls his eyes. "Oh, here we go."

Sam looks at him then tips his head sideways, got a weird grin on his face. "Not a fan?"

"Not that. Just… the guy seems too good to be true, right? Wings and a shield? Come on."

"Uh, is that why your eyes are like glued to the screen whenever he's on?" Kate says. "Is that why you call him Captain Tight Ass?"

"He's a goddamn show-off, and you know it. Tight ass or not."

Just then Sam snorts, real loud, grabs his coffee and suffers a horribly controlled laugh on his way out the door.

The Starting Line by birdlight

A Series

Lone and Level Sands by quantum_consciousness

The almost-smile disappears off Sam’s face and he takes a step deeper into the water, and he starts unbuttoning his shirt as he wades further. One look over his shoulder and he chucks the shirt to shore, and Sam dives into the water. The ache in Bucky’s chest deepens as Sam swims. He supposes, Sam has lost a lot more, he supposes, sometimes Sam feels as lonely as he used to.

in which love doesn’t ruin us by joesnick

“Idiot,” Bucky said, so natural and deliberate that she couldn’t hear well but it was there. Relief and happiness under a small light. “Don’t do that to me again.”

“Hey, I’m here,” Sam said, before getting closer and pressing his forehead against Bucky’s. “I’m here.” They ran out of words. They didn’t need them, not at that moment. Their steadying breaths and their tenderness, saved only for each other and fed by each other, was all they needed.

Ride of Shared Melodies by enchantedlightningwrites for honestlyfrance

Two strangers, Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson meet in an unexpected encounter in the airplane. Over the course of the ride, they discover their mutual love for music and connect.

Let's Fly Away by Unclesteeb

"If I could fly, I could go anywhere. I could do anything.”

Sam’s mom gives his shoulder a gentle pat. “You can in your own way.”

“How?”

“Sammy, all you have to do to be as free as a bird is to just do the right thing.”

Sam furrows his brow. “What does that mean?”

“Well,” Sam's mom starts. “The right thing is doing nice things for people. It's treating everyone how you would want to be treated. It's going out of your way to help people and love them, even if they're not nice to you at first or at all. People deserve love, and I know you have plenty to give.” She leans down to give his cheek a kiss. “All you have to do to find your wings and fly free is to just do what you feel is right. You have a beautiful heart, Sam. I know you'll use it the right way. Then you'll fly.”

Been one of those days (can I lean on you?) by hazel_eyed_bi

Sam and Bucky wrap up an exhausting, weeks-long mission, only to go back to their mutual pining while forced to share a bed at a crappy motel. Also, Nat knows what's up.

Find your love and fight for it by winterscaptsam

Sam learns to love again, quiet and composed. Love letters stay in between walls and stolen kisses don’t leave his apartment. It's not that it's a secret, loving Bucky the way he does, lord knows he’d scream it from the rooftops, travel all the way to space to let any living life form know it as well. But that’s the problem, he just doesn’t know how and it aches him to his core to keep Bucky like a secret, like this love is something to be ashamed of.

Sam decides it's about time to come out.

Kings of Everything by glittercake

Twenty-five years after the events at a popular New York Bistro, Timothy DumDum Dugan tells the true story of infamous mobster Jimmy Buchanan and the man he gave it all up for.

arson we commit by winterscaptsam

Bucky seeks adventure, reaches out for an adrenaline rush whenever he can get it and he reckons this fellow will be the one to give it to him. All sweet smiled and dolled up figure showing off his attributes. Like he’s daring anyone to take the rush.

So, Bucky goes and gets what he wants.

“What’s your damage, doll?”

Bucky is the hitman and Sam is the target.

The Boys of Summer by Siancore for avintagekiss24

Sam Wilson returns home to the small town he grew up in to complete his med school residency. He hasn’t been back for an extended amount of time since he left for college. While he only consistently kept in touch with childhood friend, Steve Rogers, he was keen to see the people he had grown up with. With the exception of Bucky Barnes. They had a falling out the summer before Sam left for college. What happened between them? Can they move past it now that they’re adults?

Sam's Plan by OhHelloFandoms123

“I have a plan,” Sam said smugly, hands on his hips. “I have a three-step plan for you to marry me.” At first, he thought he was joking. Then, he saw Sam’s genuine smile.

Bucky groaned, “there is no way in HELL that I’m marrying YOU, Wilson.”

Wreck In the West by OhHelloFandoms123 for honestlyfrance

There’s just something about leaning on his chest as the sun goes down and the smell of tea whilst into the air feels so amazing. And he was a wreck because of it, it tore him apart and put himself back together because it was so blissful, he almost couldn’t breathe at first.

Gay cowboy proposal.

Belonging Season by OhHelloFandoms123

Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes have lived their most happy, married life for 70 years. Death won’t stop them today for living an eternity.

neverending; by glittercake

Sam passes away after a long and happy life with Bucky, but Bucky never ages and life keeps introducing him to Sam's reincarnates for the next 156 years.

Lighthouse by glittercake

This guy’s trouble. Bucky knows that in his bones. It’s not bad trouble, is the problem, it’s good. Sam is so goddamn inherently good and if Bucky even touches that with a ten foot pole—fuck if he even looks at it—it’ll turn to shit.

He can’t afford another move to yet another city because his colleagues started recognizing Brock’s fist prints on his face.

But Sam is a ridiculously bright glowing light, a beacon, and Bucky goes toward it like that idiotic moth to the flame.

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mycrofts-gunbrella · 4 years ago

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Caring is the Greatest Advantage- Part 3 (Mycroft Holmes x Reader)

AN- Thank you for the patience for this one! My little boy has been unwell so it has taken a little longer than I had hoped but here is the third instalment! It’s a little shorter than the others but that’s because I wanted to contain the angsty part in one chapter, the next ones will hopefully be longer..

This one is a little more angsty, a lot more emotional, but I’m quite happy with the outcome and I hope you are too! As usual, please let me know any thoughts/feedback! And enjoy!

Word Count: 2510

"Is it just me that finds Stephen Fry a bit.. sexy?" You spoke, watching the television as Young Ones' Scumbag College competed on University Challenge. "I don't know what it is about him. He's just.. got such a lovely voice, and he's so sodding clever and his CLOTHES- got much better looking with age, mind." Mycroft only hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

"Hmm.. He's not really my type." You laughed and petted his head fondly.

"You don't have to be gay to find another man attractive Myc." You mused. "Me and Greg talk about it all the time, though he fancies Hugh Laurie more, especially in Blackadder." You laughed, thinking back on the memory of Greg's fondness of George in the Blackadder Goes Forth series.

"I'm aware that sexuality and attraction are not the same, Y/N. I am comfortable enough in my own heterosexuality to appreciate another man's features. In fact, I very much agree with Gregory's view on Mr Laurie. Stephen, however, is not my type. The few people that did speak to me in University used to tell me I reminded them of him in the way I behaved but, and I quote, 'without even a lick of his humour, you miserable bastard.' Thus, I cannot look at him in that way." He laughed a little and you cleared your throat.

"Oh.. uh, yeah I guess that makes sense. Not the humour part though, you're actually hilarious and they missed out big time." You tried to avoid the point where you'd deemed Stephen Fry sexy in every way he was similar to the man who was laying in your lap, and just hoped he wouldn't bring that up.

"He definitely got the looks side of things though, particularly as General Melchett in Goes Forth, though I am not particularly fond of the facial hair." He screwed up his nose in distaste, you fighting every ounce of your control to not say he looked a bit cute. "And certainly didn't have the waistline that 21 year old Mycroft had."

"Speaking in the third person now, are we? Well, Mycroft, Y/N is comfortable enough in her friendship that Y/N thinks Mycroft can be sexy in his own ways too." You teased, partly embarrassed, but equally just trying any way to improve the man's confidence, even by a little. Mycroft choked a little on his own saliva and had to sit up to regain his own breath. Too far? "Sorry." He shook his head 'no' but didn't speak. In his moments of regaining his composure, Mycroft watched you. Processed in his head what you had said- 'was it a joke?', he couldn't read anything on you that would suggest that, though his eyes were glassy from the choking- watched as you panicked, then subsiding the panic to concern as you made sure he was okay. All these things, he thought, he didn't deserve. He took a deep breath and reached for the television remote, pausing the show and settling back on the other side of the sofa. It had to be done now. Done while his brain was allowing it, before he got attached... before he got attached even more. He couldn't keep pretending it was okay, keep accepting your compliments and your kindness, couldn't allow himself to go any further in his.. attraction?

It was always unspoken between the two of you- your not so subtle hints to Mycroft over the last few years hadn't got unnoticed, Mycroft would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he felt the same way, though this was perhaps the most open you had been; he would always put it off, try to think of reasons why you shouldn't be more than whatever you are now- most of the time it circles back to work, your busy schedule at the Yard and his unpredictable working hours mostly, saying to himself that it would simply be pointless, that you wouldn't see each other. But he knew that was a lie- you see him as often as you can, even if it's just for an hour on lunch, and everyone knows he would do his best to move empires to have you over for dinner had it been a while, quite literally actually.

Then there was age, you were in your mid-to-late twenties, he in his forties, though that argument also fell flat after you had mentioned your last long term relationship had been with a man your elder, amongst many of your interests in celebrity males that you had mentioned being closer to his age than yours- and, on his behalf, it was usual for a Politician to walk into formal dinners with a younger woman on arm. In the end, it all went back to the real reason Mycroft put everything off, a reason he hated admitting to even himself. Mycroft was scared.

Having been the age he is with no sexual experience, no previous relationships, and not even many friendships, he was terrified he would humiliate himself and you would leave him completely. You were both adults, both clever, you both knew there was always 'something' there, but without you ever acting upon it, Mycroft decided to live his life keeping you as a friend rather than risk not having you at all. He felt guilty enough having you here anyway. He couldn't allow you to keep stroking his hair like that, or letting you sleep in his bed with him, hold him as he snored, when it was for completely other desires in his own mind, not without speaking to you. No, that wouldn't be fair- even if he didn't fully understand everything himself and was still incredibly scared. You needed to know the truth, about everything, and, if there were the slightest chance you'd forgive him, he had decided he couldn't wait any longer, couldn't put it off anymore, he wanted you to carry on doing those things, wanted to continue the nights you would stay in his bed. But Mycroft wanted it to change, he wanted to be able to start the night with a ghost of his hand on your hip, without waiting until you were asleep to bring himself to have that courage, to wake up next to you and not feel the awkward need to move so soon, just to stay a little longer. Christ, Mycroft wanted every cliché in the book with you, and it took him until yesterday to realise how much he wanted that, after nearly losing you. And he needed you to know, even if it risked it all.

"Y/N I-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I took it too far I was just messing about.. Not that I didn't mean it, I wasn't joking about you.. You are very attractive, but it was inappropriate.. I shouldn't have said it.. I just wanted to help.. though I don't think it did, might have made it worse, actually.. Didn't want to say anything and let you find out.. like that.. not that it matters.. because I AM happy JUST being your friend, over the moon, actually.. so I don't want you to think I ruined that... Because I know you don't feel.. like that.. and you're not saying anything which is scaring me a little because you're always talking.. Not that I don't like that.. I love you talking to me, you've got a lovely voice.. and.. and I'm going to shut up again.. sorry.. again.." You rambled, a lot, too much.. far too much. Mycroft tried to process everything, his eyes closing at every word. You were making this so much harder for him, admitting everything like that. Mycroft hunched forward in his position and braced his elbows on his knees, index and middle finger of each hand holding the weight of his head by his temples.

"No just.. Just stop talking for a moment." Mycroft snapped, cutting you off as your mouth opened to speak a little, the small jump back made his gaze soften. "Please." He spoke softer, apologetic. "I can't.. talk about that.. not yet. Not until you know.." You went to speak again but his head tilted, eyes containing a rare glaze of vulnerability, trying to stay in contact with your own but constantly dropping back to his lap- a silent plea to stay quiet, be patient and just give him a moment. And you did. Turning your body completely sideways, you crossed your legs on the sofa, hands resting folded in your lap as you encouraged him to continue with a brief nod of your head. "I fear if I don't tell you of yesterday's happenings in this very moment that I never shall, and that is far too selfish, even of me." He took a deep breath in. "But I just.. need a moment. A few, likely, throughout." You nodded your head again.

From there, Mycroft began to explain everything that had happened, told you of his sister, where she had taken him, Sherlock and John, what she spoke about, what she tried to get them to do. His voice cracked every so often, knuckles whitened as his fists clenches, creases formed in his trousers where he squeezed his hand on them, but you listened to every word and stayed silent- eyes welling with small tears. Mycroft spoke of the screen, told you of the snipers that were out there, targeting Ms Hudson and Molly. Your body stiffened as he added Lestrade to the list, feeling your throat tighten a little at the mere thought of losing Greg. Mycroft pressed on, told you about how Eurus tried to make Sherlock choose between him and John, told you how he'd tried to convince Sherlock to just shoot him, how Sherlock refused and threatened to shoot himself. His voice went breathless at the end of that, the idea of losing his brother so easily still fresh in his mind. You loosened your sitting position and leaned over, taking Mycroft's hand in your own and squeezing. He sighed again and closed his eyes.

"Please, don't." He whispered, trying to fold his hand into a fist to escape your embrace. You didn't let go and offered your other hand on his back in support as you watched a stray tear fall down his cheek. "I said don't!" He shouted, moving from your touch and standing up from the sofa, beginning to pace as his face contorted into more pain, another tear following the path of the last. You sat back, watched him, didn't take the anger to heart. "It was my fault! All of it!" He ran his hands through his hair and tugged, moving them after to wipe the droplets from his cheek.

"Myc it's ok-"

"It isn't okay Y/N! No part of any of this is even remotely close to okay!" He stilled now, posture going back rigid as he looked at you, eyes bloodshot and glassy. He told you of his Birthday present to Eurus- five unsupervised minutes with Moriarty- and started his pacing again. "A man died yesterday because of me. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly. They all almost died yesterday. You almost... you almost died yesterday." His breath hitched again, lip softly quivering at the end of his words. You tensed a little and frowned, confused and urging him to elaborate. "They weren't the only people on the screens, not the only ones with a red dot on their heads, Y/N." Gaze avoiding you now, turned completely to face the wall rather than look at you at all- giving him a chance to compose himself, steadying his voice. "I saw you, you were happy, just dancing and making tea, but at any moment you could have... and it would have been my fault. And I know I should have told you yesterday, it was selfish of me using you the way that I have without letting you know everything. You could have been gone before I could tell you everything, before I could explain how I feel about you, and it all came rushing to me the moment I saw your face on that screen. I’m so sorry, for everything, for ignoring everything, for being the reason you almost-" The last thing Mycroft had expected was the feeling of arms around his waist, the feeling of a head resting between his shoulder blades, soaking the shirt with tears. You sniffed, holding onto him tighter as you cried into his back.

"It's okay Mycroft." You spoke, voice croaking from tears. "They're okay.. I'm okay. And you're going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." The relief Mycroft felt from your words ran through his body as he slumped a little, left hand holding on to where yours joined on his stomach, his right lifting to his eyes where, in a very rare moment, he allowed himself to weep.

***

Neither of you were too sure on how long you stayed like that, Mycroft being held in your arms as he quietly cried into his hand, you into his back, but it was long enough that your feet were beginning to ache and Mycroft had become silent a short while ago. You attempted to loosen your grip but Mycroft quickly grabbed back at your hands, holding them to him again. You changed your tactic and instead circled round until your hands remained together on his back, you now at his front and you gave him one last squeeze before guiding him backwards to the sofa, taking your place next to him but keeping your arms around him.

"I'm sorry." His voice was broken, quieter than usual. You shook your head and fought the urge to cry again.

"Don't." You spoke, sliding a hand down to hold his own that rested on his thigh. "Don't apologise Myc. You didn't do anything on purpose, you were just trying to be a good person.. a good brother. We're both still alive. Sherlock, John, Greg, Ms Hudson, Molly, they're all fine, and I have no doubt that it was partly due to you that they are still okay- whatever the three of you did in there, it worked, and that's all that matters to me." Mycroft shifted, his eyes finding yours once more, scanning, searching, trying to find anything that showed you were lying, that you didn't trust him anymore, but he couldn't find anything.

"But I-" You placed a hand at the back of his neck and leaned forward slightly, your lips meeting his briefly for a few seconds before pulling back. It wasn't desperate, or longing, or out of lust- it was everything Mycroft needed. Everything that let him know that you weren't going anywhere, that you still wanted to be around him, to be with him. He relaxed but didn't speak, his hand beneath yours just turning to allow your fingers to lace together as he let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. You rested your head against his shoulder, smiling softly as you felt his own rest atop yours before falling into a comfortable silence.

#mycroft #Mycroft Holmes #bbc mycroft #bbc mycroft holmes #mycroft x reader #bbc sherlock #reader insert #mycroft holmes x reader #mycroft holmes x reader smut

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criminalmutantsins · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Favorite Young Justice Characters

10. Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle

Starting off the list is Blue Beetle. Young Justice introduced me to him, and I was hooked. He’s probably the most mellow and calming voice. His arc and relationship with Bart (friendship or not) were my favorite aspects of S2. They bounced off each other in every scene. I was very disappointed when Jaime and Bart were sidelined so much, and hope S4 changes this (particularly with Bart).

Jaime in the number 10 spot since he doesn’t really have much of a memorable personality. Still love him to bits though.

9. Will Harper/Red Arrow

Funny enough, I did not like Will. He was an asshole in S1; S2 kind of changed my mind about him but not enough since he didn’t appear as much. What really changed my mind was the episode “Private Security” (S3 Ep.4). I started looking back into Will’s storylines and, I have to admit, his is probably one of the best character development.

The first season had him unwillingly living a lie and betraying the people he cared for. In season 2 he was so consumed into finding the original Roy for five years, not even caring or focusing about his own life. I felt really bad for Will because he was probably going through an identity crisis and thought he couldn’t live his life without finding Arsenal. Probably felt guilty.

Seeing him living his own life and being happy with his daughter was so heartwarming. I smiled every time Will appeared in the latest season (totally ignoring the Will x Artemis fiasco), especially with Lian. I’m very proud of him.

I feel bad for putting him so low, yet I adore the next characters more.

8. Garfield Logan/Beast Boy

I have been a massive Beast Boy fan since Teen Titans so you probably can imagine how excited to see him. His origin story was unique and his brother-sister bond with M’gann was very sweet. It was pretty weird seeing how much younger Gar was than Dick, but I got used to it. I was bummed that Gar wasn’t in S2 as much; however, S3 truly made up for it.

After watching Beast Boy being a great leader in S5 of Teen Titans, I wanted a leader-like and more mature version of him. Young Justice truly delivered with Gar being the leader of the Outsiders. It’s nice to see him treated with respect rather than as a joke because that was my biggest gripe with Teen Titans. Though it was weird seeing him not crack a joke at all.

Gar’s story with his mom was heartbreaking to see. I literally cried seeing his reaction to revisiting his trauma in S2 and S3; I just wanted to hug and tell him how awesome he is. My only complaint with Gar in S3 was that the Outsiders weren’t established until near the end of the season.

His voice actor being Greg Cipes also gives him extra points (He’s a chill guy and radiates BB energy).

7. Dick Grayson/Nightwing/ Robin I

Sorry to all the hardcore Nightwing fans.

I love Dick (don’t get any ideas), but he doesn’t get enough development in the spotlight. One of the things I really wanted to see from him is his growth as a main leader, and his journey to becoming Nightwing. I was really bummed when these happened between the first two seasons.

To be honest, I don’t have as much to say about him other than straightforward qualities I enjoy about him.

1.His Voice (it’s so soothing)

2.His Personality (very charismatic)

3.Very Handsome (Probably in the top 3 my most handsome YJ Men list)

I put him higher than the others since he made a lot of contribution to the story and his new words (gotta love that aster!)

6. Megan Morse/M’gann M’orzz/Miss Martian

If I made this list during S1, M’gann would have probably been in my top 3 (maybe even No. 1), but S2 didn’t give her any brownie points.

I really liked S1 Miss Martian because of her kind heart, awkward girl next door personality. Her trouble fitting in the beginning reminded me of when I was going through a time in high school; seeing her having trouble as well helped me feel not so lonely. M’gann powers were (still are) my favorite since I am a big fan of mind-like powers. I would feel so powerful. Watching her identity crisis(?) arc was great too. I’ve had trouble feeling comfortable in my own skin as well as my social anxiety (I’m a mess) and I could understand how scared Megan was of her friends’ thoughts on her true form.

Oh boy. Season 2 basically ruined her. Learning what she would do to enemies was terrifying to see and left me wondering what happened to Miss Martian that made her step this far. What she almost did to Superboy was almost unforgivable. You do not try to manipulate with your boyfriend’s mind when you guys have an argument! Shame on you M’gann. If Superboy hadn’t forgiven you then I wouldn’t have either.

Good thing S3 somewhat redeemed her. Her kind heart was noticeable again and she refused to do that mind trick again (thank god). Very excited for the Superboy and Miss Martian wedding! Please creators, I beg of you to not skip over it. I want to cry my eyes out in happiness!

5. Kaldur’ahm/Aquaman/Aqualad

Now we’re in the top 5 with Aqualad (*ahem* Aquaman) starting it off.

Creating Kaldur was the best decision the creators ever did. I love him with all my heart!

He added diversity to the original team and was a great leader. S1 was not his breakout season, though the second season definitely was.

Kladur played the villain so well that he deserves an automatic Oscar. I never doubted that he was with the heroes, but he didn’t disappoint. My favorite part about Aqualad’s performance was when he rose from the ocean slowly like a cliché villain (he made it work), and the line he said right after he “killed” Artemis; it sent me chills. Love it!

Pretty disappointed that he didn’t appear as much in S3. Very happy that he is a part of the LGBTQ+ community and is in a happy relationship. I’m a part of the community and loved that there was finally some representation in one of my favorite shows. Even so, I have to criticize how rushed and sidelined it was. I hope Kaldur and Wyynde’s relationship gets development.

4. Kon-El/Conner Kent/Superboy

Like Will, I did not like Superboy at first. Mainly angry and volatile characters were never really my cup of tea. I do understand why he was upset and felt bad for him; I just handle anger the direct opposite as him. My love for Conner started growing around the end of S1. He was very sweet towards Miss Martian (bless him for not caring about her appearance) and his anger was in control.

Season 2 pretty much switched my opinions on him and M’gann. It was awful what M’gann almost did to him. That scene with him being so sad that what she did ruined that special bond they had almost made me cry. I wanted to give him a hug. He grew so much too since I don’t think he would have handled the whole M’gann drama as well in S1. A lot of furniture would’ve been broken.

I gotta admit something. I almost put Conner near the bottom (maybe no. 7). A comment in a poll in Amino changed my mind. I wrote a poll asking other fans who did they prefer SB or MM. At that point I said SB, though I didn’t think much of it. Someone (specifically yjfangirl) responded “Superboy has the best development in the show.” This had me thinking about how far SB has gone. In the beginning, Conner was an angry guy who felt alone and rejected by the person who he was meant to emulate. Now he is happier and living for himself rather than to be the next Superman. He’s getting married people! A little detail I noticed when rewatching S3 was Superboy mentioning to new characters that they weren’t obligated to be a hero because of their abilities. I adored this! The main reason why Superboy was created to be Superman if the original ever died, and another one of Luthor’s puppets. But he strayed from that pressuring path and is doing his own thing. Conner doesn’t want other people to feel like he did. What an absolute pure soul.

Also, yjfangirl, first I want to say Hi (*waves*)! Then say thanks for writing that comment. It made me really think about the bigger picture with SB and my love for him as grown exponentially. You probably didn’t mean to do that, but I still want to thank you. 😊

3.Wally West/Kid Flash

We’re in the elites now.

I don’t know how to explain it, I just love Wally. He makes me laugh, and his character growth was great. At first, Wally was this cocky flirt who didn’t take the hero work as seriously. That changed in “Cold-hearted,” one of my favorite episodes in the series. This was when I really started seeing more of Wally than being this dumb flirt. It was great seeing him actually caring about helping people since I believed for a long time that he wanted to be a superhero to just have powers rather than actually protect others. The regret in his eyes when he thought his impulsive behavior killed Perdita helped me see who he really was- this somewhat arrogant speedster who had a kind heart. Episodes that can make me change my perspective on characters are truly special.

I was very upset that he wasn’t in S2 a lot. I understand why since he gave up the life, but I was still bummed. Seeing him being so loving and protective towards Artemis was amazing. Spitfire is my favorite ship and I will not give up on them. All I want is a happy ending! The penultimate episode of S3 was a hint that it will happen. Watching the S2 finale was heartbreaking, I cried watching him disappear, his love for Artemis being the last things he said. Artemis’ reaction did not(I just wanted to hug her).

I have more to say, though I’m leaving it for another post. 😉

2.Bart Allen/Kid Flash II/Impulse

Picking between Bart and Wally for second place was tough. Took me a while to decide; I’ll talk about it later on.

The moment Bart made his appearance, I absolutely adored him. He is amazing and I live for his hyper, fun attitude. His arc and relationship with Jaime were my favorite aspects of S2. What can I say, their chemistry is great to see.

That scene when he was meeting the Flash family was so adorable. His excitement was infectious and spoiling his dad and aunt’s births was hilarious! I watch it occasionally whenever I need a good laugh or reason to smile.

Unlike most time travelers- at least the ones I’ve seen- Bart was very involved with what was going on and befriended his biggest enemy- evil and weirdly huge future Blue Beetle. He was pretty careful about disclosing very important information and took things very seriously. You never know if disclosing everything was the thing that brought the world to chaos.

What I found interesting was his choice on how to interact with everyone. He seemed pretty gloomy in the future, but decided to portray this cheerful, devil-may-care attitude to be more likable. I understood (still kind of do). I had terrible mental health issues and I pretended to be happy in front of loved ones because I thought they wouldn’t care about me anymore. Bart got some brownie points for that.

I was dissatisfied when his role was greatly reduced. I wanted the creators to go further with Bart by revealing his past and how it affected him. He was pretty much comedy relief. You couldn’t imagine how disappointed I was, especially with it involving my second favorite character. Season 4 better change that.

I know that you shouldn’t assume a character’s sexuality, yet I really hope Bart is gay. There needs to be more clear representation and Bart can be one of them. I’m also a Bluepulse and Bartuado shipper (fine with either one as long as Bart’s bond with each of them stays strong).

Anyway, I mentioned that I would explain why I chose Bart for 2nd place over Wally. It mostly stems from wishful thinking. I really want S4 to have Bart as a main character since I believe the future will be strong plot point in the season. Development could surely happen such as Bart opening up more about what he went through. Let all those feelings go.

I’m going to write an article on my hopes for S4 when a release date is announced. Bart and Wally will most definitely be talked about.

…..

We are finally near the end!

And my No. 1 favorite character is…

Drumroll please!

…

1.Artemis Crock/Tigress/Artemis

That’s right people!

Artemis Crock, original member of the Team and daughter of villains!

She is such an inspiration to anyone who wants to go their own past without their parents’ support.

It’s hard to describe how much I love Artemis. She’s brave, strong-willed, and a kind person. It’s crazy how great of a person she is after all the terrible things that happened to her. I look up to her because I don’t have a healthy relationship with my parents (verbal and mental abuse) and there are times I don’t feel strong enough to stand on my own. I want to carry the amount of strength Artemis has as my own.

After all that happened in S2, it was amazing to see Artemis come back to the team and train the new generation. It must have been hard to walk away from a safe, comfortable life for a chaotic, dangerous life. I admire that in everyone, but I hold more respect for Artemis since “the life” “killed” Wally. I wanted to hug her so bad.

She’s also one of the kindest people in the show, the events in S3 being the best example. When Zatanna was crying about her dad, Artemis was there to comfort her. It was so sweet! Roy and her also took in Halo and Terra like they were a part of the family; the archer treated them like the best big sister. That rainstorm scene was heartwarming to the core.

Wouldn’t Artemis be an amazing mother? Lian and her have a strong bond like a mother and daughter; I loved it, and Lian is in good hands with Roy and Artemis. Though Jade deserves a chance to be a mother. Artemis also seemed to enjoy taking care of those kids in that S1 episode. Wally too. You guys know what I’m guys insinuating. 😉

Get ready for some fanfics on that someday.

My favorite Artemis-centered episode was the second to last episode of S3. I was waiting for this episode centering around Artemis missing Wally and learning to move on. It was great yet heartbreaking. Nothing bad happened. That Will and Artemis kiss never happened. Everyone makes a mistake. No matter how terrible it was.

Anyway, seeing Artemis and Wally living their lives and having a baby gave me life, even if it was fake. It was a vision of the future. I will believe this until there is confirmation that Wally will not come back.

Did anyone else cry when Artemis was so desperate to, but Wally wouldn’t let that happen (the real Wally would do that)? They are a great example of a healthy relationship with all the love and support they have for each other. I want that.

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faelapis · 5 years ago

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what i mean when i say i like jasper’s ending a Lot in terms of “what the character needs”, rather than what the audience needs, is that the transition from “fragments”, to “homeworld bound”, to finally “the future” shows, albeit quickly, a pretty interesting commentary on “want vs need”.

“want vs need” is a pretty basic storytelling concept of, basically, writing flawed characters who have some growing to do as people. they “want” one thing, but they actually “need” another thing.

so let’s talk about jasper’s “want” vs “need”.

cont: but you are not my diamond. if you think you’re hard enough to tell me what to do, fight me and prove it.

she makes her “want” clear in every episode she’s in SU future - which is that she wants to subjugate herself to a diamond, because that’s the only worthwhile purpose in life she’s known.

but we, and steven, don’t actually want that to happen. we know it’s not good for her health. we’ve seen that it’s not, both because hierarchies like those are toxic and because we’ve been shown, specifically for jasper, that it causes her to self-destruct over and over again.

so when it does happen, it’s very fitting that it’s in the worst circumstances possible. she begged for steven to fight her with all his might, over and over again, so he could prove himself a worthy diamond - to the point where he ends up shattering her. and when she’s brought back to life, she’s not even mad at him. he’s proven himself a “worthy” superior.

so we’ve been shown very clearly that jasper’s want is pretty, well, unhealthy for her. she would literally die for it, and get nothing in return except unhealthy, oppressive structures around her. getting everything she wants, at long last, fills her with a kind of void and fragile happiness... which only lasts so long as steven embraces his role as diamond and stays with her.

hence we, and steven, only see her act at peace with her circumstances without complaint for a couple minutes, and it always (both in fragments and homeworld bound) ends in her own heartbreak. that’s the fragility of her “want”.

basically, it’s bad because, albeit she would know what to do with these structures... it would be at the expense of her own agency, character growth and health. it would always end badly for her.

this is a good time to point out the parallels to steven in “mr universe”.

much like jasper, steven doesn’t care if the structures around greg were cruel or oppressive. he never looks closely enough to notice how much greg hated his life. he just wants things he sees as “normal”. he wants guidance, certainty and authority figures to tell him what he’s “supposed” to do in life.

so. how is jasper’s “want” inverted?

much like rose would eventually do with pearl, the unhealthy attachment is cut by giving your subject a very bitter pill - disappearing from their life. by leaving them behind, you’re essentially forcing them to grow.

that’s NOT the main / only reason rose has steven, or steven eventually leaving beach city... but both serve the purpose of making someone who idolized you “deal with” your absence. and that’s certainly at least a part of their intention - rose thought of herself as stuck and likely holding pearl back. steven is horrified by the diamond role and wants jasper to do “something better”.

and that leads us to jasper’s “need” - to be free from these oppressive authority structures and find her own path in life. this would both improve her health & happiness, as well as making her stop engaging in unhealthy behavior towards herself and others.

now. is she fully “there” yet? no.

but i think that as much as her trying to persuade steven to take her with him into the great unknown mirrors pearl - ie “i should be fighting for you, because you’re too important”, her reaction to steven’s reassurance that he will be fine shows that she’s already done more growing than pearl had at that point.

she’s likely been taking classes at little homeworld (where she was confirmed to currently live, NOT just visit to say goodbye to steven) for the preceding months between “i am my monster” and “the future”. she’s somewhere near accepting that her diamond doesn’t need protection. it’s also likely something she started thinking after “fragments” - if your diamond is truly so wonderfully powerful... why would they need your protection? what is your “purpose”? steven defeating her + leaving without her in “homeworld bound” both lead her to the same conclusion - she can’t fail or succeed in protecting him, because he doesn’t need her to.

thus, her role isn’t warranted.

“i can protect myself”. “i know... farewell, my diamond”.

it’s pretty significant to me that at the end of their little scene, steven doesn’t run away or give jasper any orders to stop following him. SHE leaves, albeit sadly, because she agrees with him. he can take care of himself.

jasper’s still framing steven as a diamond / superior, but... i think a big point here is that she’s someone who was so firmly stuck at the bottom of a pit of self-hatred, isolation and meaninglessness that she couldn’t unstuck herself - not without being pushed to do so. which ended up also being true for steven.

that’s the irony of the double-edged sword of her “want” - in a way, she’s right about one thing. she can’t just magically get better on her own.

i think the episode “guidance” illustrates an interesting balance between steven and amethyst’s philosophies - amethyst would rather gems do whatever, even if they end up slipping back into their old patterns. steven would rather guide them towards challenging themselves, even if that means dismissing their autonomy.

jasper... kinda gets both? her “want” and “need” play into each other in interesting ways. i’ve been framing her want as a negative a lot, but it does have an interesting silver lining - she had to get what she wanted (to be defeated, to be given a diamond), to be pushed to what she needed.

and in turn, steven needed to listen to and adapt to HER, in order to help her. only after doing that, after being pushed by jasper in turn and truly giving her what she wants, even if it tears you apart mentally... would she ever listen to you. as steven is probably used to by now.

and despite the tragedy of it, i think that’s... kind of an okay thing to show? because not everyone will seek help on their own. it’s not the uplifting message of “anyone who needs help will eventually realize it entirely on their own”, but it IS the hopeful message of “even people who refuse help, deserve help”.

there’s horror in steven ultimately adapting to jasper’s desires, because it shows them both the fragility of their wants - for steven, being able to control jasper was a horrifying consequence. he got what he “wanted” in the worst way possible. for jasper, getting what she “wanted” meant being forced to let it (steven) go in favor of staying at little homeworld.

but honestly... we already knew that jasper would never seek help on her own. she’s too “selfless”, in the toxic sense. purpose matters most.

and she’s not alone in that.

“pearl took pride in risking her destruction for your mother. she put rose quartz over everything; over logic, over consequence, over her own life.”

pearl taking rose down from that pedestal was a slow, elaborate, exhausting process that took years of actively working on herself. the majority of that work was only done after rose was gone.

jasper’s gonna have all the same tools - a genuine support network, people who are willing to both empathize and teach a better way, distance from her romanticized superior, and her own desire to get better.

the latter point, at first, because she’s told to. but as we saw in “little homeschool”, leaving her to her own devices without any “worthwhile” path forward wasn’t ideal. her “want”, much like amethyst said... still deserves to be listened to, even if she still thinks like a homeworld gem.

but the seriousness of such an effort is, as pearl taking care of steven “for rose” and then “for him” and finally growing to do things “for herself” shows, a good avenue for REAL growth. jasper may soon yet grow for her own sake.

and the results... again, pulling pearl as my example, can be remarkable.

as i’ve said before... i am pretty sad we won’t actually get to see more of that. that’s what “the audience” may have felt they needed from jasper. the same way i’m sure rose would find it bittersweet to know how much pearl has grown without her. the same way you’re sad whenever you don’t see a character you love find love and happiness onscreen, even if it’s implied...

but in a show told from steven’s perspective, i think there is some point to that.

i’ve come around to the following: she couldn’t go with him. any forgiving hugs steven & jasper could’ve given each other at this point would’ve been hollow. that power dynamic would’ve been in the way. what they “need” is not each other. they need people who really, truly understand them, and to figure out what they want in their lives when steven doesn’t have someone to save emotionally (jasper), and jasper doesn’t have someone to sacrifice herself for (steven).

(...and it’s at this point you realize i made you read ALL OF THAT mainly to justify why pearl and jasper’s relationship is gonna be such a central thing in my post-canon fanfic. lol. anyway here’s the link again.)

#steven universe #su future #jasper #steven #pearl #amethyst #long post /#su theory #gif /

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drarrymybeloved · 4 years ago

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is this alright? (or what happens when two idiots actually communicate)

should i be studying? yes. do i have a microfic to write? also yes. have i done either of those things? nope, i did this self-indulgent thing instead :D

baby’s first non-microfic published work :’) also on my ao3

Draco is furious. He understands that the war wasn't too long ago and that resentments, or in this case regrets, still linger. Much of that is valid. But this? Absolutely not.

His jaw hurts with how hard he's clenching his teeth. He paces around the eighth year common room, running his hands through his hair and shoving random pieces of furniture.

"You need to stop with the dramatics already."

Draco whirls around to pin Blaise with a fierce glare. Blaise, the absolute bastard, just raises both eyebrows and shrugs nonchalantly.

"Just tell us what's bothering you so much, Draco," Pansy says, without looking up from inspecting her nails.

Draco narrows his eyes. "Thank you ever so for the concern, but I have no desire to talk about it," he spits out.

Theo heaves a melodramatic sigh and pushes himself out of the sofa. "Well then old boy, if you're not talking to us, I don't see why I should waste a perfectly good day trying to get you to open up," he turns to Greg, "How about you? Does a dip in the lake sound more fun than this?"

Greg shoots Draco an apologetic look, but then firms his shoulders and says, "It does actually," and follows Theo out of the common room, determinedly avoiding all eye contact.

Underneath his anger, Draco feels a curl of satisfaction at seeing Greg starting to become his own person. Really, Draco bossed him about far too much when they were kids.

"I appreciate the show of concern and all that, really, I do. But— bugger off," he says to Blaise and Pansy. He just needs to work out this strop, in peace, on his own. No need for a bloody audience.

Blaise huffs out a disbelieving laugh, while Pansy mutters something that sounds an awful lot like "absolute ingrate" but they leave all the same.

"Fucking finally," Draco mutters, resuming his furious pacing.

But apparently peace is not an option today, because just then, the common room door opens.

"Pans, for fucks sake, just let it go. Not everything needs to be talked to death," he releases a harsh breath, refusing to turn around.

"I'll tell her you said that," comes a voice from behind Draco. A voice that is decidedly not Pansy's.

Draco whirls around, "Potter?"

“Hi,” Potter grins at him, that stupid crooked smile of his.

"What do you want," Draco grits out. The Slytherins and Gryffindors have called a truce of sorts— it's not uncommon now to see the two groups mingling, playing a casual game of pick-up Quidditch or finishing their homework together. Draco isn't opposed per se, but he does have his reasons for wanting to avoid the Boy Wonder in particular.

Potter shrugs. "I passed Pansy and Blaise on my way here, and they said something about you having a strop. I thought I'd see if I could help."

"To see if you could— why would you even want to—", Draco splutters, caught off guard. He takes a deep breath. "Point is, Potter, no you cannot help me nor do I want your help," he manages to pull himself somewhat together, attempting to look haughty. The pink bleeding into his cheeks probably isn't helping matters.

Potter looks even happier now, his grin widening and eyes positively sparkling.

Irritated, Draco turns his back on Potter, hoping he'll take the hint and leave already, never mind what the more imaginative parts of Draco's mind are suggesting.

Of course, because he turned his back, he doesn't see Potter approaching him and proceeding to wrap his arms around Draco's middle.

Draco freezes. His mind goes absolutely blank, because whatthefuckisharrypotterhuggingmesweetbabymerlin.

He feels Potter shift a bit behind him, his unruly hair brushing Draco's nape. "Is this alright?" Potter asks in a low voice.

Draco's trying to formulate a response, truly, he is. But Potter is pressed against him and his mouth is so close to Draco's ear. When Potter speaks, Draco feels the lightest of brushes on the shell of his ear, which could have been air or it could have been Potter's lips. Hastily, Draco steers his thoughts away from Potter’s lips.

"Draco?" Potter's loosening his hold, making as if to step away, and no absolutely not, that will not do.

Draco's hands clamp down on Potter's, still wrapped loosely around his middle, to hold them in place.

When Potter chuckles, Draco can feel it on the back of his neck, and it's a good thing Potter's holding him firmly again because Draco doesn't think his knees are of much use anymore.

"So that's a yes, then?"

Draco clears his throat and prays his voice comes out steady. "Obviously," he manages, and if his voice cracks a bit, well. Potter's never been the observant type.

"And this?" and then Potter's lips are brushing his neck, the barest of suggestions.

Draco shivers and lets his head fall back a bit, his body leaning more into Potter's.

"Yes," he exhales, his eyes falling shut. But— "Wait, no, aren't you dating Weasley's sister?" Draco leans away from Potter, attempting to rally his scrambled brain. Massive crush or not, Draco's not willing to be the other man.

The hands around Draco's torso turn him around, and then he's looking right into Potter's eyes. The amusement he finds there confuses him, and he frowns.

"You would think that someone who spends so much time being hyper-vigilant of me, would know I'm currently single," Potter's hands come up to smooth out the frown on Draco's face.

"You do it too," Draco mumbles, because it’s true and he’s too distracted by what Potter just said to come up with anything better. Also— Potter’s hands are on Draco's face.

Potter grins unabashedly at that. "Well, I am," he says, still smiling. "Single, that is. And I happen to have my sights set on a particularly dramatic blonde."

Even though Draco's heart is singing a little bit, and his cheeks are possibly apple-red, he has just enough presence of mind to say, "I am not dramatic, thank you very much," while attempting to look as indignant as possible when in Harry Potter's arms.

Eyes shining with amusement, Potter asks, "Oh really? Tell me what got you this worked up, then."

"...Slughorn refuses to give me the marks I deserve," Draco reluctantly mumbles, looking down from Potter’s gaze to where his hands had come up at some point to fiddle with Potter’s tie. "Maybe marks aren't important to you, but Potions is my top subject, I'll have you know. I can't have Slughorn messing up my perfect record," he adds defensively.

Potter just laughs, the unbearable git. "Can I kiss you now?" he asks, looking at Draco with a startling amount of fondness.

"Good idea," Draco hums, meeting Potter halfway.

They're both smiling too much into the kiss, and it's really not that great, but that's okay. They have plenty of time for better ones.

#drarry #my writing #whew i enjoyed this sm #not me working on one-shots but ignoring my fic wip #8th yr fluff #in which harry takes a leap and draco meets him halfway #fluff #requited feelings #yes draco is dramatic #yes harry loves him for it

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technogeekmituna · 5 years ago

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MR. UNIVERSE

it's clear which episode is getting the most attention, for good reasons, but Mr. Universe needs to be talked about, specifically Greg's approach to Steven needs to be talked about. It wasn't bad. It was awful.

Greg essentially says Steven is on his own journey, so he needs to be behind the wheel while Greg will ride shotgun.

Greg's done a good job so far. He's getting Steven out of the house, out of Beach City, away from the gems, away from his problems, and out on the road (at a failed attempt to self discovery).

It's the moment when Steven asks Greg how he became Mr. Universe that things take a turn for the worse. Greg messes up. Badly.

Now, prefacing, Greg has been a single parent for the last 17 years, minus the gems, over a kid that doesn't have a regular human life. He's done pretty well for the most part, with only a few major hiccups here and there.

Not taking your child to a doctor, even once, for vaccinations? We've seen Steven get sick before so his gem doesn't prevent him from human ailments.

Lying about a broken leg to spend more time with his son, which resulted in Steven losing his power to heal because Greg's betrayal shook Steven's confidence that badly

Raising Steven in a van??

Not great things, but Greg has still been a loving and supportive parent.

That aside, however, Greg couldn't even bother to tell his son they were breaking into his grandparents' house? Once again, Greg keeps his family a secret from Steven. Did Andy tell Greg's parents they had a grandson? Greg sent letters that went unopened and his parents never read them, but he still could have gone physically to their house, like in this episode.

Greg is also pushing his past experiences onto Steven, taking him down the same literal road, in an attempt to help him discover himself. The song doesn't hit the right chord with Steven like it did Greg, because they're not experiencing life the same way.

Greg is coming from a good place, but he's handling it poorly and selfishly.

Steven doesn't need any more secrets in his life, or people telling him how he should be or act. All that has brought him is anguish, pain, torment, and identity/self-worth issues. He needs the people left in his life to be honest, open, supportive, and truthful with him. Especially right now.

What Steven argues is valid! He had to deal with alien dictatorship and his mom's war crimes and mistakes. He's still suffering through what Rose left behind. He always will, to some extent.

It's, like, Greg refuses to accept or acknowledge those things are good things from Steven's point of view and is what Steven wants in his life.

Normalcy! He wants a normal life.

Steven was robbed of that from the moment he was made, but it could have been better if Greg had accepted that his parents and he could never be on good terms but acknowledge that Steven had the opportunity to know his family and shouldn't have been kept away from them.

Greg never had the right to do that! It hurt and stifled Steven in the long run.

And Greg saying "You're a gem! You're not like other kids" pretty much confirms what Steven used to be bothered about in past episodes. That he wasn't ever going to be human like Connie or his dad, or even remotely have a normal human life, because of the legacy he had from the gem in his stomach.

Except that's not what makes him mad. It's the fact that, in this moment, Greg is acting like Rose and the very things that have Steven so messed up.

The thing wrong is he's a Universe, just like how him owning Rose's gem made him feel like he was Rose in a different form.

Greg is projecting onto Steven like a lot of parents do, and it's from a place of wanting to believe the child has it better than the parent did. Greg wanted freedom, his own choices to have validation, to be his own person. So he left and never looked back.

Steven had all of this love and support and room to grow and be who ever he wanted to be from Greg and the gems, so Greg believes it to be true when he says Steven had actual freedom. Yeah, that might be true, but because of this "freedom" Greg tried to give his son he also failed to provide structure and a sense of balance for Steven.

Structure doesn't equal strictness, but maybe to Greg that's how he perceived it growing up himself. That doesn't mean structure isn't a necessity in life though, despite how it's done.

Steven arguing with Greg about the lack of all the stuff that his dad can't tolerate and that Steven never had, and Greg refusing to see the point of his son's arguments is another part of Greg's denial and thinking Steven still had it better than he did growing up, despite all that's happened.

Steven doesn't know Greg's parents, Steven didn't have many restrictions or curfews, Steven didn't get forced to do things in school he had no interest in; that's all a form of freedom to Greg, but it's a life Steven never had the chance to have. So, yeah, of course Steven wouldn't understand. He never got a chance to!

Even after the van wrecks Greg is still projecting onto Steven by saying he's proud his son is telling him off, because Greg never got to do that with his father. It's more than a little messed up.

And it's in this way... Greg is comparable to Pink before becoming Rose. Pink Diamond literally projected herself as a rebel against the other Diamonds as Rose Quartz, because despite all the attempts she made to stop the colonization of Earth, she never talked to the other Diamonds about why she wanted to cancel the invasion or how the Diamonds made her feel.

Pink wanted freedom, her own choices to have validation, to be her own person. So she left and never looked back.

Steven grew up learning to be open, honest, and to talk things out rather than hiding them. Of course he lied a couple times, but Steven couldn't really lie to a severe degree. A polar opposite to how his parents reacted to confrontations with their families, relatively with Pink Diamond.

Again, Steven was right when he compared Greg to his mom. When Steven starts to dissociate and tune out Greg, who's still missing the whole point, and deletes the picture of Greg when he was younger... It's sorta like what he did with Rose when he became disillusioned with her.

I'm not saying Greg is suddenly a bad parent for this. In his opinion he knows better than Steven about his parents, but the argument is Steven can't say one way or the other, because he never met them. And I'm not saying Pink should have talked it out with the Diamonds. We know it wouldn't have worked then.

It's just... Steven needs help that his human group and the gems can't provide right now. Maybe the Diamonds can help him. We know how it went with Jasper and how it failed with his attempt to make Connie the center of his world so early in his life.

I'm really curious to see how the Crewniverse are going to wrap all this up in the next four episodes. I'm nervous, but I have hope.

#greg universe #steven quartz demayo #steven quartz universe #steven universe spoilers #steven universe future spoilers #steven universe future #steven universe #su spoilers #su #su rose quartz #su pink diamond #su fragments #connie mahaswaren #jess murmurs

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adultswim2021 · 3 years ago

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Ephemera Week (2002)

It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.

MARCH SPECIALS!

In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).

Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?

This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.

Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.

This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.

The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).

Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)

Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.

The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.

Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.

*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.

MAIL BAG

This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.

I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.

Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)

What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?

Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.

I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?

I’ve never had those are they good

What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.

In dude time, my friend. In dude time

What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?

Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?

That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.

All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?

If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?

McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.

Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do

Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.

Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.

Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.

Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.

Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)

The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.

Tell you more?

Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.

I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest

Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?

The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!

HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!

Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #night of the living doo #boo boo runs wild #yogi bear #jetsons #ephemera

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babi-correia · 4 years ago

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Guardian Angel

Words: 3083

Pairing: Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of death, drug abuse, poorly written medical stuff and PTSD.

From Anon:

“Hi there, can I get a Greg Gerwitz x reader, please? So reader and Jay are cousins and when Jay enlists, he starts writing about his friend Mouse so reader when sending care packages will always include things for Mouse and when Jay came back for his mum's funeral, Mouse came with and he falls for reader and vice versa but remained friends while he's in the rangers still. When he was discharged and eventually involved in some shady shit, it was the reader who gets him back on track. Thank you x”

Here you go, kind friend.

[(Y/N/N)=Your Nickname]

One thing you knew for sure: nothing in your life could have possibly prepared you for the moment when your cousin, Jay, had been deployed to Afghanistan. His mother, your own mother's sister, was devastated, but his father had shown nothing but anger and disapproval at his career choice, as he had with Will. It seemed like no matter what, the man would never approve or support either of his sons, and it annoyed you to no end. So, logically, when he went away you took it upon yourself to make sure he knew that at least one person back home cared about him and wasn't completely repealing him.

He mentions his friend and teammate Greg Gerwitz in one of his first letters, as Jay had taken to personally protect Greg, as he was a very valuable communications expert; although you could read right through that Jay began projecting himself as an older brother for Greg, who he affectionately called "Mouse". From Jay's reaction, you gather that Greg probably didn't have that much of a support network back home, or any at all, other than Jay, so you include him as well in your silly little personal mission.

The first care package goes out a month into their deployment, filled with energy bars, sunblock, beef jerky, some pain-relieving topical cream, and deodorant, along with a picture of you, your mom, and Jay's mom holding a sign saying "Counting the days for the two of you to be back". It finds them well, and Jay's letter is full of little round wrinkly spots when you open it, its' content nothing but praise for the care package. He writes that Greg cried like a baby when Jay told him that the packed box was for the both of them and not just him.

When you have to write to Jay about his mom's illness, it breaks you. Your whole purpose with the letters and care packages was to brighten their mood, often including bad jokes you had happened to hear and you knew they would get a kick out of because of how bad they were. But you had to tell him. You end up rewriting the letter more times than you cared to count, searching for the best way to say "hey, your mom's dying". This time, it's your letter that's filled with little round wrinkly spots when you seal the envelope.

Jay's response takes its' time, and comes right in the week of your exams. Between helping your aunt and studying to get a decent internship, you were left with very little time to do anything else other than sleep and eat. You put a hold on the anatomy book you're studying, deciding to pick it up after you prepare everything to do with Jay and Greg, refusing to let them go without a letter or care package. You fill the letter with crappy jokes and complaints about how dumb you were to want to become a doctor, because clearly, the exams were driving you mad. You try to put some hope in the letter, saying that Jay's mom looks better than before.

The next month makes you nearly drop out. Your aunt's condition worsens too fast for there to be anything left to do, and you have to be the one to let Jay know that his mom died because dear old Pat could still not be bothered to talk to his son.

You manage to catch one of your dad's old army buddies, one who is still in the military, and make him pull some strings to get both Jay and Greg back in US soil for the funeral.

You pick them up at the airport, noticing how thinner Jay is, how his face looks so sunken, how he looks almost broken. He barely has time to drop his duffle bag before you wrap him in a hug as tight as you can give. He hugs you back before backing away and wiping his eyes.

"(Y/N), this is Mouse. Mouse, this is (Y/N), the angel that has been sending us goodies." Jay introduces. Greg goes to shake your hand but you hug him, feeling him reluctantly hug you back.

"I wish we had met under better circumstances." You say to Greg, pulling away from a hug and giving him a tired smile. "We should get back, you can still catch the wake, Jay."

The car ride is silent, and you can't find it in you to say anything at all. You pull up to the mortuary house, parking the car and taking a deep breath.

"You want me to go in with you?" You ask, seeing how Jay is looking out the window.

"No, I think it's better if I go in alone." He says before pausing. "Is Pat in there?"

"No. We haven't seen much of Pat lately." You admit, knowing Jay knew how much you despised his father.

He exits the car and you sit in silence, Greg still in the back seat. It takes a while before he breaks the ice.

"So... Jay tells me you want to be a doctor?" He asks meekly, his eyes on everything but you.

"I do. I'm about to start my residency, hopefully at a big hospital like Chicago Med." You say, the usual excitement that comes paired with your passion and the opportunity to talk about it significantly dulled.

"What's your expertise?"

"I'm going for trauma surgery." You say, turning around in your seat to face Greg.

His heart skips a beat when his eyes finally meet yours. No one in his life had ever looked at him with the sheer kindness you did. He had grown a crush on you without knowing you at all, and seeing you look at him like that only reinforced it.

"Look, I just want to say thank you for including me in the care packages." He manages, breaking eye contact and looking at his hands, which rest atop his knees. He can barely mask the gasp he makes when you put one of your hands over one of his and give him a reassuring squeeze.

"It's my pleasure." You say, greeting him with a smile when he finally looks at you again. "I enjoy doing it, and it makes me feel better about the whole deployment situation that I can at least give you guys something to brighten your day."

Over the next couple of days, you just chat your mind out to Greg and read your medicine books to him, sometimes making him quiz you on the subjects. He generally looks confused, but he also seems happy to help you. It makes him giddy on the inside to see how much you know about whatever he's quizzing you about, and the focused yet excited look on your face makes his heart flutter. It's only during the night before they fly back that he realizes: he's head over heels for you.

You wake up ridiculously early the morning of their flight; well, you don't wake up, you just get out of bed, because sleep had ever so expertly evaded you due to your overthinking of what would happen to Jay and Greg back in Afghanistan. Your mind keeps racing, running multiple scenarios but not seeing a positive outcome in none of them. And even though of course you worried deeply about Jay, since he was your cousin and you two grew up together, your stomach twisted in itself at the thought of Greg getting hurt.

You slowly realize that you had begun to harbor feelings for the man, and your mind reels. You hide your face on your hands as you try to process everything before you give up and go out to sit in your back yard and stare at the sky.

You take them to the airport at around 5 am, the drive there being awfully silent. You feel the tears prickling at your eyes as you drive the car and grip the steering wheel with everything you have. You could tell Greg about how you felt, but you couldn't handle the fact that he was going back when he was barely your friend, much less if you uncovered your feelings. Besides, nothing guarantees you that he would like you back, so you decide to keep your mouth shut.

You bid your goodbyes and hug the two men outside the airport, your hug with Greg taking a little longer than it should - not that he seemed to mind. They head inside and you return to your car, sitting behind the wheel and crying all of your emotions out. When you look back to maneuver your car, you notice something glinting in the back seat and pick it up. The small metal plate is cold in your hand, and you notice a little post-it attached.

"Thank you for caring so much about someone you know so little about. Please don't forget about me."

You turn it around and see the engraving: Gregory Gerwitz. Tears well up in your eyes again, and you hold the dog-tag to your chest, closing your eyes.

You keep sending them letters and care packages as part of your routine, sometimes struggling to get time to do it. You had managed to land your internship on Med, and they liked you enough to keep you around as an ED doctor.

On your day off, just as you're about to head off into the grocery shop to gather goodies for the next care package, your doorbell rings and you open the door to find your supposedly deployed cousin.

"Jay!?" Your voice is squeaky, but you can't find it in you to care. "What are you doing here?"

You hug him carefully, noticing some cuts and bruises on his face and arms. He hugs you back and lifts you slightly.

"I was medically discharged a few weeks ago, I've been crashing at a friend's but I owed you to come here." He explains as you guide him inside. "Also, I need your help with something."

"What's wrong?" You ask, sitting beside him on the couch. He points at your chest, where the dog tag rests, hanging from a simple chain.

"It's about Mouse. He isn't taking it well and I'm afraid he's going to do something that's gonna hurt him." Jay sighs. "He really likes you, but he doesn't think of himself as deserving of someone that cares about him and wants to help."

"Where can I find him?" You ask, feeling your chest tightening.

"Not even I know that, but as soon as I find out I'll let you know." He stays, prompting himself to get up. "By the way, I'm in the police academy and it'd mean a lot to me if you could attend my graduation in a few months."

"Of course!" You beam at him before hugging him. "Just let me know when, and I'll ask for the day off."

After your conversation with Jay, you can't bring yourself to stop thinking about Greg and how he's doing. One day, you're getting in your car to get home after a shift when you get a call from Jay.

"Yes?" You answer your phone.

"(Y/N), I need you to come to your house quickly." Jay's voice seems distressed. "It's Greg, I have no idea what happened."

You make the drive back in record time, grabbing the emergency medical kit from under the passenger seat before rushing inside. You notice Jay has used the spare key you gave him to get inside, finding him and Greg on the floor of your bathroom.

Your heart drops and you join them on the floor, quickly assessing Greg; his skin is cold and clammy, his breathing and heart rate slow, and he seems to be slipping in and out of consciousness.

"He's overdosing on opioids." You realize aloud, quickly opening your medical kit and retrieving a small vial and a syringe. Jay watches you as you charge the syringe and push out the air before administering it.

"What is that?" He asks, watching as you set the syringe on the bathroom counter.

"Naloxone. It reverses opioid overdoses, technically." You say, observing Greg's reaction. "We have to get him to a hospital, Jay."

"No, that may screw whatever little chance he still has at getting a job."

You shake your head as you move your hand to gage Greg's heart rate, noticing it seemed to pick up a bit.

"Let's see how he progresses. If I don't like anything in how he develops, I'm taking him to the hospital, and that's not debatable." You state, moving behind Greg and sitting him up, noticing as he begins to shiver. You lean his back against your chest as he begins to move slightly. "Stay still for a bit, Greg. Please."

You feel him tense up, his breathing labored. He looks at Jay, who shakes his head.

"I don't know what's going on Mouse, but you need to get it together." Jay says, his face serious as he gets up. "I have to get to the academy, but I'll come by later."

You hear the front door shut as Jay leaves, and just sit on the floor in silence for a while.

"What's going on, Greg?" You ask, your voice barely a whisper. He feels his chest tightening at your sad and defeated tone. This was exactly why he didn't want to come to you, he was a broken man and he knew you'd be disappointed in him. "Why didn't you ask for help?"

He doesn't even have a chance to respond before he scrambles forward and wretches into the toilet. You just brush your hand up and down his back, feeling him shake as he starts to cry.

You wet a towel and run it through his face to wipe the sweat gathering on his forehead. You hook your arms around his chest and help him rise to his feet, supporting most of his weight.

"Can you work with me and get to the living room? We'll be more comfortable there." You ask softly, holding him up and helping him move to the living room. You sit him down on the couch and take a seat next to him, wiping some hair sticking to his forehead. You take one of his hands in yours, and his heart just about shatters when he sees the look you give him: it's still the same pure kindness from the first time the two of you met.

"I didn't want to disappoint you." His voice is barely a whisper, and your brows knit in confusion. "I'm not the same person from when we first met, I've gone down a dark path, I didn't want to disappoint you or get you involved."

"Greg, you'd never disappoint me." You say, your voice soft. "It's normal, it's a whole different reality. I'm here to help you however I can."

You hug him and cradle him against your chest, his arms snaking around you to hold as tight as he can.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He mumbles, his voice shaking. You rest your chin atop his head and caress his back as he keeps on trembling. "I should've come to you sooner, I should have told you about everything a lot sooner."

"All that matters is that you're ok, Greg." You whisper, holding him. "We can work on this from now on. You're not alone."

You end up offering Greg the spare bedroom on your house, on the condition that he must stay clean and out of trouble, and at least try to get a legitimate job.

One day you get home after working a double shift, your head pounding and your emotions all over the place: you had lost a patient. You know that there wasn't anything you could have done, but that doesn't make you feel less shitty. Entering the house, you make a beeline for the living room and flop face-first into the couch, laying there for a while without moving.

"Hey (Y/N/N), you ok?" You hear Greg's voice as he kneels next to you. You turn your head to face him and he sees the tears in your eyes. "Woah, what's wrong?"

"I lost a patient today. Nice old lady, came in because she slipped and fell on the icy street, hit her head pretty nastily. She was talking when she got there, but then she passed out and just like that she was gone." You vent, tears streaming down your face. Greg holds your hand and rubs it softly. "I just wish there had been something I could have done for her."

"You have a heart of gold, you know that?" He says, pushing some hair out of your face. "You can't save everyone... Just cherish the ones you did save, like me for example."

He always jokes around about you saving him, but it was the truth; without you, he'd probably be dead in an alley somewhere.

"I think it's mutual saving." You whisper, smiling at him. "I would probably have gone mad by now if you weren't around."

You maneuver yourself and sit normally on the couch, and he sits next to you, pulling you into a hug.

"It's a nice little deal we have, then." He says, holding you to him. You nod, eventually separating from him. "I still think you're my private guardian angel."

You laugh at him, and his belief solidifies further: to him, you were exactly like an angel, from your laugh to your personality to your selflessness, and you had given him a second chance at life.

Before either of you realize what's going on, he leans in and cups your face, resting his forehead against yours. You can feel his breath on your face as you take in the beautiful blueness of his eyes.

"If you don't want it, say so." He whispers, his eyes riddled with both fear and excitement. Your heart beats out of your chest as you close the space between you and kiss him, feeling him smile against your lips. It's short and chaste and sweet, but it's everything you had imagined. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for that."

You laugh, cupping his face as you kiss him again, the two of you giggling like a pair of kids and forgetting everything else in the world other than the moment that you were having.

141 notes · View notes

hammerhorrorshow · 4 years ago

Text

OC: Quinn’s Statement

A/N: Hey guys! This is a Drabble from a story I’ve been working on lately. In very ‘me’ fashion I wrote the trauma reveal but first, and I thought I’d post it here! Any kind of feedback (or even just a like or reblog!) is much appreciated!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: BIG RAPE / NONCON TW. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200. Additional warnings for violence , kidnapping , trauma / trauma discussion , self - hatred , and , once again , discussion of rape / noncon . Stay safe !

Also I apologize for the spacing / lack of editing (this hellsite is MOSTLY to blame :/)

“Whatever you tell me isn’t going to make me think any less of you.”

“Yeah, you say that now”. Quinn’s smile quickly fades.

Vinny clicks the tape recorder on.

“Tell me the first thing you remember.”

“I woke up.”

Everything hurt. I was groggy. Took a while to realize where I was.

I still don’t know exactly where I was.

My arms were pulled above me. Medieval style, to the ceiling. Not chains but ropes. Rough ropes.

Ropes that cut.

Then I realized I was cold. Looked and saw

I was naked except my boxers.”

“And how did you feel?”

Pity. Quinn hates it. He wants to rip it off Vinny’s his face.

“Confused-

Scared.”

A knowing silence fills the room.

“Terrified.”

Vinny is satisfied. “What happened next?”

“Fuck.”

“Are you ok?”

Quinn hates him right now.

“I’m fine. I’m ok. I just- fuck. Ok.

The door to the room opened.”

“The room?”

Fuck you, Vinny.

“More like a cell, I guess,” Quinn says, begrudgingly.

He continues:

“He came in.”

Vinny senses him cringe. He doesn’t want to ask: “Who did?”

Quinn glares at him, but answers:

“It took me a minute to figure out it was Greg Gerrickson.”

“Like, Greg Gerrickson, Greg Gerrickson? Owner of ‘The Hound’, Greg Garrison?”

This was a bad idea.

“That’s the one.”

Quinn forgets he’s being questioned. He spaces out.

Vinny has to bring him back:

“And what did he do?”

He’s back, with another glare. Quinn starts to feel bad about the dirty looks.

“He came in. He closed the door behind him.

He walked up to where I was tied.

He paused-

EXAMINING me, and he said: Why do you think you’re here?’”

Quinn rapidly bounces his foot.

“And I said I didn’t know.

Quinn stops. Vinny feels like he pushes his friend further and further underwater with each question.

“And what happened next?” he asks, strained.

Quinn isn’t angry this time. His mental ‘fuck you’s’ are desperate instead.

“I remember that he smiled.”

Grimace.

“He smiled this stupid fucking smile. This stupid fucking KNOWING smile.

He said: ‘Well I’ll tell you: the same reason the other three men are here’.

And he pointed to the corners of the cell, so I’d know they were beyond those walls.

‘You’re here because of me. I met you at a bar. I so I slipped something in your drinks. Brought you back here.’”

Quinn sighs.

“Then he asked me if I knew who he was. I said yes. There’s a time and place for snark, y’know?

And he fucking smiled again. I wanted to strangle him, but I only asked him: ‘Why?’”

‘Because you trusted me’.

And he paused. Every time he paused it scared the shit out of me.

‘So I think I’ll keep you here for a while’”.

Quinn looks like he’s about to explode.

“FUCK”

He slams a hand down on the table.

Vinny jumps, not expecting it from the usually quiet man.

Quinn remembers he’s not alone, and is being recorded.

“Sorry.”

He doesn’t want Vinny to say ‘it’s okay’, and he loves him when he doesn’t.

Vinny knows, and it pains him to say: “Please continue.”

Quinn sighs. It’s heavy, and pained. It almost shudders.

“All I said was ‘why?’ Just like before.

And he said: ‘Because I just felt like it.’

I was so goddamn angry that I spit at him. He only fucking smiled again.

He said: ‘I hope you know that isn’t getting you anywhere, Quinton’”.

There is real fear in Quinn’s face:

“He knew my goddamn name, Vin.

I wanted to kill him. I didn’t know why the fuck I was there. I was more terrified then I’ve every been in my fucking life.

Then started pacing- and I was fucking nervous about this, ok? And he fucking knew I was”.

Quinn lets out a heavy sigh, and puts his head down on the table.

For his own sake, Vinny wishes his reaction wasn’t so physical. He figures it just makes it harder for him to do his job.

“Do you want to stop?”

“Fuck you, Vinny.”

Vinny clicks the recorder off.

“I know it’s hard, Quinn.”

“Oh, do you? You know it’s fucking hard? I’ll tell you how fucking hard it is. I-“

“Quinn, stop.”

Quinn stops.

He puts his head in his hands and lets out a shuddered sigh.

“Fuuck, Vinny.”

“I know.”

Quinn glares, but doesn’t say anything.

Vinny continues:

“Do you wanna stop for today?”

“What would be the point? I’d just have to do more tomorrow. Give it time to fucking stir.”

“Ok. Tell me when you wanna pick up again.”

“Stop being so fucking nice to me.”

“I’m always fucking nice to you.”

Quinn shuts up.

“Ok.”

“You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Vinny clicks the recorder back on, and continued his questioning

“Ok, so he started pacing. What happened next?”

“He stopped behind me and he-

got closer.

I could feel his- his breath on m- on my neck.”

Vinny watches Quinn instinctively bend his neck away from something imaginary.

It fills Vinny with a horrible sadness.

Without prompt, Quinn starts again.

“He leaned in and grabbed my hips.

He dug his f-

fingers in and he moved his face near the crook of my neck.”

“And h

“I was fucking terrified, Vinny.

Vinny stops. This doesn’t feel like his

“He said-“

Quinn stops.

“He said : ‘There’s only one way you’re gonna get out of here any time soon’.

As he said it he slipped the waistband of my boxers down my hips.

Ever so slightly.”

Almost to himself: “Ever so fucking slightly.”

This time Vinny didn’t prompt him to continue. He just catches Quinn’s eye. For a moment, they plead with each other.

“I just- I just-

Didn’t know what else I could do.

I didn’t know if he was gonna kill me. The other guys could have been dead; I mean I didn’t fucking know.

Shit, I mean..”. Quinn stops

“And what was it that you d-“

This time, Quinn didn’t have to cut him off.

Vinny just trailed off by himself.

There is silence. A silence that seems so much longer than it is.

“I just played along.”

It takes a moment for him to continue.

For Vinny, it doesn’t take long enough.

“It was the best case scenario.

I would hate myself for it, I knew that, but I had to.

It’s like my survival instincts kicked in, like...”

Quinn wells up, slightly

“He moved his fingers down my waist.

Slowly.

His hands lingered.

So close to- But not-“

Vinny can see the effort it takes Quinn to continue.

“And I feel his lips on my neck and he said-

he f-“

Defeated.

“What did he say?”

Breathed, immediately: “Do you want me to fuck you?”

This silence is heavy. Unresolved.

On the verge on tears: “And I said ‘yes’.”

Vinny stops the recorder and Quinn starts to sob.

Vinny opens his mouth to say-

“Don’t fucking speak to me,” Quinn says curtly, cutting him

Quinn tries to stop the sobs that break from his body. When he succeeds, he says:

“Unpause the tape.”

He doesn’t try and stop his tears, and Vinny wants this to end.

He unpauses the tape.

“He grabbed my hair and pulled my face towards him and kissed me.

It was so rough.

And his hand moved down.

His hand moved down, and-

he grabbed me”.

“Grabbed you where?”

“Where the fuck do you think, Vinny?”

“I need to know for the record.”

Quinn refuses.

Professionalism is hard for the lawyer.

“Your genitals?”

Through gritted teeth: “Yes.”

There’s an uncomfortable beat of silence.

“He started-

he started massage me. Y’know, and-

I just- I g- I just gave in, I mean I c- I just gave in”.

Quinn changed his tone.

“Jesus, anybody can tell where this is going”.

“I’m sorry-“

“Don’t fucking apologize to me.”

“We need as much detail as possible.”

“What sick fuck is getting off on this, anyway?”

“A jury.”

Silence. Then Quinn continues.

“It hurt. So bad. He didn’t give a fuck. And he kept touching me, and- and-

Quinn starts to cry again.

“He just kept going and it hurt so goddamn bad, and then it felt good. I didn’t want it to, but it did. And it just- just, like-

it was like how they put you under before surgery. They have to cut you open, so they might as well put you asleep so you forget. That’s what it was like.

Like making the best out of-“

He can’t say it.

He sighs, now physically shaking.

“I just let that feeling take over. The euphoria.

It was that or the pain or the shame or the guilt. And I just rode that dirty fucking high until-“

Quinn sobs and forced his head into his hands

“Quinn?”

Vinny reaches out to touch him when he doesn’t answer. Quinn jumps back a mile, almost tipping his chair.

Vinny hates himself for the look of guilt on his face. He knows that Quinn does too.

“Please continue.”

“I can’t, Vin.”

“Yes you can.”

“Jesus, Vinny! You wanna know? You really wanna fucking know? He made me beg, Vin. That’s what happened next. Is that what you wanted to hear? That media mogul Greg Gerrickson made me beg him to fuck me? Does that really do it for you, Vinny”?

Vinny tries to speak over the lump in his throat. He fails

Quinn’s face falls.

“Sorry.”

Silence again.

“Would you like to finish your story?” Vinny says it with nothing but sympathy.

Quinn takes a moment.

“At some point it was over. He- finished, and he put his head down on my shoulder.

I remember that he-

he started to kiss me.

And I remember he told me how good it was”.

Quinn’s face twists in anger.

“He told me I was the only one. That the other guys wouldn’t let him near them.

He puts his head down again.

Vinny can see his whole body convulse with sobs.

Vinny stops the tape.

“Vinny, if you don’t turn on that goddamn tape recorder, I’m going to drive it through your fucking skull”.

Vinny turns it back on.

“The worst part was, I knew they could hear it all, too.

And I knew they could hear praise me, and I just shuddered.

Then he- he got down on his knees-“

Quinn looks at Vinny, begging with his eyes for just this one favour.

Vinny speaks for him.

“Did he perform oral sex?”

Quinn sighs: “Yeah.

And he kept going until I- I finished.”

Vinny can see his face burn with shame.

“What happened after that?”

“He got up and untied my arms. He took a blindfold out from his pocket. Put it over my eyes.

I couldn’t resist. I was fucking done for.

And I heard him leave the room.

Almost immediately I felt two people grab my arms and lead me out.

We walked for what felt like forever.

I was put into a car, and after a while, pushed out.

When I took off my blindfold I was at my house.

He knew where I fucking lived”.

Quinn puts his head down. He’s clocked out.

“6:32 PM. Statement concluded.”

Vinny shuts the tape recorder off.

——

Then they’re walking to the parking lot.

Quinn is a shell.

Vinny can see it.

“Jesus, Quinn, I can’t let you drive home like this.”

Quinn only looks at him.

“You’re coming home with me.”

Wordlessly, they walk to Vinny’s Prius, and helps Quinn into the passenger seat.

Quinn lets him, and they drive home.

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fallen-stars-au · 4 years ago

Text

Any Kind of Freedom (Chapter 1)

Steven's been missing for over a month now.

Well, okay, he's not missing if they know he's on Homeworld, but he wasn't the sort to just go zero-contact for this long.

And it's officially been long enough.

They would find him and bring him home or get shattered trying.

(Here is also an Ao3 Version.)

Prev | First | Next

It was stupid.

It was absolutely, absurdly, ridiculously stupid how easy it was to piss off the Diamonds sometimes.

Sure, sure, they’d gotten better about it. Kind of. Apparently not as much as he’d thought—at least not when it came to White.

All he had to do was make one suggestion at what had apparently been the wrong time-

In the near-three years since he’d met the Diamonds formally and first travelled to Homeworld, Steven had been locked in the tower a total of five times. Three of them had been for just a couple days but hardly less unpleasant than the longer spells. But the other two times… His first prison sentence (there was nothing else he could call it) had been literal torture. He’d discovered things about how his half-gem biology differed (how the ways he could survive differed) from that of a full-human in ways he never wanted to experience again—in pain he never wanted to experience again. At the very least, Blue had recognized then that he wasn’t lying about having human needs, so the tower and “his” own chambers had been outfitted appropriately. It meant none of his other times in the tower had been as bad as the first, but it was hardly fun or even easy to handle. But what had to be the worst part about every single time he’d been put in that tower is that he never knew how long it would be until he could get back out of it. And with only six tiny windows, it was near impossible to tell a time since Homeworld lack Earth’s same sort of day and night cycle he vastly preferred.

The Diamonds even needed and actively used his help all the time now! Even with their own duties! But apparently, once again suggesting they let gems choose their occupations (despite the fact they knew how deeply he believed this and had successfully set it in motion within his own Court) had been just enough for White at that moment for her to not care about any of that right now. Instead, he got a disgusted and disappointed look, and Yellow got an order to put him away.

It was a small comfort, at least, that Yellow and Blue both looked regretful and as though they wanted to refuse the order.

By Day Three, he didn’t care so much anymore about that because he was still back in this damn tower anyways.

By Day Five, Steven properly started wondering just how long until he could get out. He missed… Well hell, he missed everything. And everyone. His daily delivery of food and fresh water from the crops at the Zoo being shoved through the slot in the door built for that sole purpose was the most contact he’d had with anyone, and the gem on the other side was hardly allowed to speak back to him. It was times like this he desperately wished he could keep things in his gem to even just have a guitar. Or even paperwork. Just anything to stop the maddening, looping thoughts in his head. The only thing that helped was singing, and even then, he couldn’t write any of it down. But he sang it over and over again so much, he sort of doubted he’d be able to forget it anyways. If that was a plus.

By Day Nineteen (maybe), he’d stopped singing. He wasn’t even sure he’d thanked the door every day for his supply like he liked to. He didn’t care anymore—he just wanted out.

“-ridot. Peridot. Peridot!” Splash. Peridot sat bolt upright, awake now, half-drenched, and rapidly checking that her tablet was safe. It was in Lapis’s hand, being extended towards her to reclaim when there wouldn’t be any water damage done to it. “Come on, we’re leaving for Homeworld as soon as we’re done checking on Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Greg.” There was a tense note in her voice that had been consistent throughout the past few weeks—not that Peridot could blame her.

“Right. That’s today. Let’s get to it, then!” Peridot hauled herself up off the now-wet couch and accepted her tablet back after shaking the water off her hands before she motioned for Lapis to lead the way.

Thirty-seven days. It had been thirty-seven days since any of them had seen or heard from Steven. Oh sure, they could always contact Zircon and did every day to ask if he could speak to them, but she kept saying he was unavailable. By the look on her face, all they could tell is that she was no more thrilled about the reason he was unavailable as she was about their constant calls. It was ten days after he’d left for Homeworld last (longer than he’d been gone in years) that they’d first called Zircon and a couple more days after that when Peridot had stopped Lapis from going to Homeworld herself. Steven’s work with the Diamonds was delicate, and anything they did would lead to his punishment as much as their own. So rather than rushing off, Peridot had reasoned out an agreement with Lapis when they would go. Twenty-five days seemed like… a lot, really. It was a lot. Definitely more than Peridot liked either, but Zircon was still willing to answer their calls and insisted she knew where Steven was and insisted even harder that they not come.

“Right. We have approximately eighty-two minutes until Steven’s daily wake-up call should arrive to him on Homeworld, so that gives us a maximum of nineteen-point-five minutes with each of them to have time to warp to Homeworld and catch him before he leaves his room.” It would be silly to assume Steven was actually functioning on his normal schedule, but it was all they could go off of.

Lapis nodded, cold determination emanating from her as she wordlessly led the way out of the house to check on Greg first. Peridot followed, trying to soothe her own worries when they would hopefully have an answer to their concerns in just a few hours.

Thankfully, Greg was easier to check on than he used to be. Now that “Andy” (she still tended to call him The Other Greg to herself and to Lapis) was helping out more often, it was rare that either of them had to really do anything, but it helped Steven when they asked to make sure. They chatted for a few moments to let him know their plans for the day, and then they were gone again with a solid “good luck” and a plea to bring his son home.

Garnet and Amethyst were also easy to check on as they were at the house, attempting to play a human board game with no help or instructions, but they were at least having fun. A little over a month wasn’t very long for them, after all. It just was for Steven and anyone who functioned on a human schedule.

It proved a bit more difficult to find Pearl, however. She avoided the Temple—even her own room because it “was so awfully dangerous” by the amount of weapons stored there—and tended to stick around the house cleaning where nothing needed to be cleaned, but no one had seen her since the previous afternoon.

Time ticked on by, and the spare minutes they’d saved up in making the other check-ins quick were rapidly dispensed. Peridot scrunched her nose in mild irritation as the alarm she’d set on her tablet started to go off at her hip, and she wiggled out from under the back rafters where she’d been searching.

They were out of time or they’d miss their chance to catch him.

“Lapis! Hey, Lapis, come on, we gotta go! We can’t find her right now,” she called up towards the lighthouse even as another layer of anxiety piled itself on top of her stack. Where in the stars was Pearl? She wouldn’t leave the planet—that was the only thing Steven had ever ordered of her for her own safety. So where had she gone?

Lapis dropped to the ground beside her and was already walking back up the path to the house. She’d stopped wanting to search at least half an hour before; Peridot knew she was just as concerned about Pearl, but their worries for Steven won out in this instance. “She’ll be fine; let’s go.”

Peri quickly followed, grabbing her metal hovering device from just inside the front door and without stopping on the way to the warp pad; with a rush of light and a musical chime, they were at the Galaxy Warp. She gasped as the light dissipated and recognized someone there other than two of the four Rose Quartz guards (Rosie and Quinn as they liked to be called) in charge of keeping non-Earth gems off planet. “Pearl!!” Relief washed through Peridot as she hurried over to their “friend” (even after almost a year, it was still so bizarre and just… wrong not having Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl as their normal selves) who was resting on her knees in front of the Galaxy Warp. “We looked everywhere… for.. you.” As soon as she saw Pearl’s face, she knew she’d been crying—enough for wise tear tracks to be dried down her cheeks.

Pearl pulled herself up from the ground, lacking her usual grace and semi-forced cheer as she saluted them both. “I apologize for not informing you of my whereabouts, Lapis Lazuli and Peridot. I wished to await my It’s Steven here so I might know the moment he returns to Earth…” It clicked.

Peridot knew something had been wrong lately, but of course she hadn’t been able to get a word out of Pearl about what it was. She still followed the classic rules of a Pearl, and that meant hiding and ignoring any of her own feelings. For her to have even cried like she clearly had been… well, it was almost relieving to see albeit kind of sad.

Before Peridot could point any of this out, Lapis’s patience was gone. “Well then, stop with the salute thing and come with us. We’re going to find him.”

Pearl started. “Find… him…? But- but he’s on Homeworld! I would be disobeying a direct order from my Diamond, I could hardly-“

“Who cares? If you’re coming, get moving. We need to leave.” Apparently Lapis had even less patience at the moment than Peridot had thought, but it was apparently just as well. When Lapis walked past to the massive warp pad in front of them, Pearl hesitated for a very long moment before she followed—seeming to struggle to take each step. But she still made them.

Peridot stayed by Pearl’s side for each slow step, and even Lapis calmed down some with wide eyes as they walked up and onto the Galaxy Warp. Once they were within the boundaries, Peridot warped the three of them away before Pearl could turn back and change her mind.

#fallen stars au #steven universe #steven universe future #su au #suf au #su #suf #steven universe au #steven universe future au #fs fics #peridot #su peridot #lapis #su lapis #lapis lazuli #pearl #su pearl

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syms-things-5 · 4 years ago

Text

Clear The Area - Chapter Seventeen

Previous Chapter Here

Warnings: Strong language and an air of discomfort.

Notes: I hope this reads OK as it’s quite dialogue-heavy.

Tags: @kelbabyblue @jennmurawski13

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The night shifts weren’t all bad. From time to time, they were even as good as “pretty straight forward”. They proved especially useful when trying to finish patient notes and random admin that always got left to the very end of the shift. Perhaps they’d endure a tidy-out of the stock cupboards if the crew was feeling generous. Since O’Brien had taken up his post at the hospital years earlier, he had insisted upon mandatory training updates for the ER units every three to four months (the national average was about once a year) so the team were regularly reminded not to set fire to their computers and not to leave boxes in places people could trip over. You’d be surprised how often both those things happened in an emerging crisis.

“I swear he thinks we’re idiots half the time.” Complained Jack, his head now glued to the palm of his hand. Jack was hurtling towards an early retirement thanks to an ever-increasing distrust of the corporate environment ER departments found themselves in. We trained to save lives, he’d say, not file stat reports. He was so right, it hurt.

The crew was sat round the reception desk. The ER was empty except for a local homeless man the team allowed in from time to time to sleep off his latest drunken adventures.

“Who doesn’t know how to bend their knees when lifting something heavy?” Jack asked again.

“Ryan for one.” Sarah joked, pointing her cold cup of tea towards the fellow nurse in question. Ryan was a tall and skinny guy, not dissimilar to Alexander Skarsgard in the right light but with less charm although he had left a few of the interns swooning of late. Shanna quite liked him, too.

“One time, Sarah. One time and I suffered for it greatly.” Ryan remarked, spinning a full 360 in his swivel chair. “Did you tick ‘agree’ or ‘strongly agree’ for question eleven?”

“Oh, if you don’t tick ‘strongly agree’ even if you only ‘agree’, they mark you down a couple of percentage points.” Entered Audrey, slamming down a pile of files on the desk beside Sarah. Their nightly routine just got more interesting. “Just get it over with. It’s not worth the effort. It’s just O’Brien being obsessed with stats again. He turns everything into a competition. I swear it’s unhealthy.”

Ryan looked momentarily confused before returning to face his computer screen. He re-read the question for the fifth time and rubbed his eyes in resignation. Something about 3am made this far too complicated.

“When did you even find time to do this, Aud?” Jack asked, turning back to Sarah and Audrey in time to witness their shared look self-satisfaction. “I’ve been sat here for half an hour and am still only part way through the first section.”

“I logged in at home earlier.” she responded before catching Sarah’s quizzical look. “Well, Michael did most of it for me.”

“Fucking hell!” exclaimed Jack, chucking his pen on the table, giving up. “Got no chance then, have I? Michael’s a bloody genius. Hey, how much for him to do mine?”

“Normally I’d say $100 but he’s pretty cheap these days.” shrugged Audrey. “Probably a fancy cigar would do.”

“He still grumpy about the you-know-what?” whispered Sarah to her friend when the guys started joshing between themselves.

Audrey leaned back on the desk beside her and took the mug from Sarah’s hands to take a sip, grimacing slightly at the sweetness. For some reason, Sarah had to have at least three sugars in her tea if she was drinking it post-midnight. It helped to keep her more alert apparently. She didn’t drink it like that at any other time of the day. “No more than usual. Seems like we’re both unlucky in that department at the moment.”

Sarah smiled at her in acknowledgement, lips thin before biting the inside of her cheek.

Following their last meet-up, Chris had been decidedly quiet. Too quiet almost. It was weird. He hadn’t messaged her. He hadn’t called or visited their apartment except to collect a parcel he had left. Sarah has been out for a run at the time and had felt silently glad to have missed him. He hadn’t updated his twitter and there had been multiple sports events occurring that would have guaranteed a humblebrag or five. Shanna had pledged to buy rib-eye steaks for a Saturday night meal during a Celtics game and he had cancelled at the last minute citing an interview he had conveniently forgotten. Even Audrey thought it was weird. If anything was guaranteed to get his attention and bring him out of whatever funk he was in, it was the promise of sports and a ‘Grade A’ barbeque.

Shanna merely put it down to his laziness or him having something better turn up. Scott had started replacing Chris around their apartment, wanting to get some of his own distance from the tricky Zach situation and it helped her feel better knowing he was at least in touch with him if Shanna wasn’t. He was evidently still alive.

Sarah decided to swap a couple of daytime stints to partner up with Audrey for the nights. She needed the comfort of working with a good friend to calm her down from whatever ledge her anxiety had placed her on.

“You know that he’ll come back, right?” Audrey interrupted her thoughts. Maybe Sarah spoke too soon. “Haven’t you got that birthday thing for Lisa coming up?”

That trip was a couple of weeks away yet. She was trying to bank some reasonable excuses but everything sounded lame in the cold light of day and Lisa was never going to accept her not coming as well. Surely things would have smoothed themselves out by then?

“This won’t just fix itself, hun, you’ll need to speak to him eventually. And the sooner the better.”

It was like Audrey had a hotline straight into Sarah’s psyche. It was unnerving at the best of times. Sarah knew she was right of course. It’s just, a little bit of distance would be a good thing, right? Even Chris himself had offered that advice from time to time, and stressing herself out at this point almost seemed counterintuitive.

“I reckon you could go in an hour or so if you wanted.” Audrey offered, nudging her friend with her elbow to bring her back into the room. “It’s dead out there.”

“I hope not.” Sarah joked, trying to lighten the mood. “We’d be shit at our jobs if that was the case.”

Audrey laughed for the first time since Sarah could remember that day. It was moments like this that reminded her of why she enjoyed working alongside her so much, and why she didn’t mind if it resulted in overtime.

“You wanna take patient referrals while I take the EPRs?”

“How can I refuse an offer like that?” Sarah picked up the dozen or so documents sat in front of her and grabbed the nearest chair. Audrey told her she’d put the kettle on and nudged the guys still glued to their screens. Ryan had pretty much given up logical thinking and was now ticking random boxes. Jack was cursing under his breath. O’Brien was going to be in for a real treat when he could finally tabulate the responses.

It was nearing 6.20am when Sarah and Audrey finally packed up to go. Matt and Stephanie had just arrived to take over for the morning, bringing a fresh perspective for the day. There wasn’t much for them to catch up on so it should be a smooth few hours at least. Sarah even ran a mop through the staff locker room as an added gift – Steph was a notorious clean freak – nearly tripping Greg up in the process.

He’d been on leave for the past fortnight and his hair was a little longer than she remembered. A five o’clock shadow graced the lower part of his face and it suited him more than she thought it would. He had kept up with the informal tie-less attire and he seemed to be, dare she it, enjoying himself.

“God, I’m so sorry.” She held her hands up in a mock mea culpa. “I was just gonna put it away before heading out. It was a stupid place to leave it.”

“Did you not take the Health and Safety refresher?” he joked, rebalancing himself and trying to play down the redness creeping into his cheeks from the embarrassment of temporarily losing his footing in front of her.

“You gonna rat me out to O’Brien? ‘Cos you know as well as I do that he doesn’t need yet another reason to know he’s right.” She shifted the mop and bucket and placed them back in the supply closet before reaching for her bag again.

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” He moved passed her before turning to face her again. “Tell you the truth, I ghosted the last couple of tabs myself. Who knew there were so many ways to ask questions about standing in elevators?”

Sarah rolled her eyes in acknowledgement. “Yeh. I can’t wait to have the team meeting when he realises we’ve all pretty much done the same thing. That’s gonna be fun. I might finally take some of my holiday.”

“Yeh, good plan. Hey listen,” His words stopped her in her tracks, feet from the exit. “Um, I know it’s been a while but I was wondering if you might want to reschedule that tennis match some time? Or if not, we could get some dinner or something? There’s that new sushi place on Reagan Street. It’s meant to be really good if you fancy it?”

She was indeed familiar with that very restaurant thanks to the glowing reviews she had been unable to avoid since it opened. Audrey had only mentioned it a mere thousand times in her presence. Word was that bookings were now months in advance so she wasn’t sure how Greg was hoping to find a table unless he wanted to make plans with her in November. Given the number of commitments he always appeared to have going on, it wouldn’t be completely outside the realm of possibility.

“Wow, I thought that place was fully booked?”

“Yeh, it is, but I went to college with one of the investors and he’s promised me a one-off.”

Of course he did. Sarah bit her bottom lip to stop herself from chuckling out loud, imagining Audrey’s face when she would inevitably find out. To be honest, she was genuinely surprised he was still showing a minor interest in her. When she finally made eye contact with him, his earnestness was practically shining. Had he always had perfect skin?

“Um…” That was a good start, she thought.

“Honestly, it’s not a big deal if you’d rather not.” He helpfully pre-empted her awkward rejection but she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing. “I’ve been meaning to go is all and I knew you liked sushi and figured it might be fun? They have live Jazz on Sunday nights.”

When did he find out she liked sushi? And live Jazz? Just how much had Audrey told him about her?

Realising she probably looked perplexed, she shuffled her shoulder strap back up onto her shoulder and tried to relax the awkwardness setting in between them. It was still quiet and no one was within earshot that she could figure out of her peripheral vision.

“It’s not you, Greg, I promise. It’s just, I’m not really looking to get into anything right now. With anyone. Plus, we work together and…I’m sorry. I hope that’s OK?”

“Hey, look, I promise it won’t be awkward. There’s absolutely no expectations from me and if you change your mind, just let me know, yeh? I literally know no one else who likes Sashimi so I can’t waste my only chance to get a table.” He chuckled and she felt more at ease.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m a pretty crap date.” She smiled at him as she edged herself down the hall, putting space between them both literally and figuratively. “You wouldn’t be missing out.”

“Oh, I doubt that somehow.” He returned her smile. “I’m serious, though. Just let me know. Anytime. No expiration date.”

And with that, she had been left dumbfounded by two men in the space of a single week.

It would have been easier to get the early morning bus home at this time, as tired as she was starting to feel. She hadn’t slept well in the last few days and she had a creeping nausea from the lack of proper rest. The walk and crisp, fresh air might do her some good. It was practically full daylight even at this hour, and it was sometimes fun to watch people on their own way to work, huffing along, trying not to drop their coffees.

The out-of-town school bus passed her a few minutes out from her apartment and as she rounded the corner, she got this weird sense that someone was watching her. Another corner turned and she could see her building in the near distance. Still, she couldn’t shake it. She stopped, pretending to fumble for her phone in her pocket and turned around swiftly to see a sweaty Chris stop a few steps behind her.

It took her a moment to register it was in fact him, his beard fuller and a Red Sox cap pulled down low over his eyes. He had sweats and sneakers on and looked like he was on a run. Honestly, if someone else had spotted him from this distance, they would have worried he was going to attack her.

“Hey,” she said, turning to fully face him. “What are you doing out at this time?”

He didn’t respond at first. He shuffled from one foot to the other before grounding himself and taking a couple of steps towards her. Again, he shuffled back a step like he was rethinking his move. She didn’t appreciate seeing him like this, so unsure of himself.

“Five months out from filming some pre-shoots so figured I’d make a start.” He finally spoke. Not a really a smile but he at least sounded OK.

“Cool.” She said, nodding back at him. “Um, I’m not sure if Shanna is awake yet but do you want to come inside for some water or coffee?”

“Yeh, that’d be great. Thanks.”

She turned to continue walking on. For a few long moments, he stayed walking slightly behind her. A couple more strides and he had decided to catch up. The last time it had taken this long to walk this same street, she had been so drunk she had narrowly avoided falling into her neighbour’s front garden.

“Five months? You’re not that out of shape.” She tried to make a joke. It was the only thing she could think of. Audrey would be eye-rolling like a champ if she could see them now.

Chris knew she was trying to make small talk now so he decided to indulge her. It was a fair response, he thought - he was doing OK - as he followed her up the stairs deliberately keeping two or three behind her in an effort to keep it casual.

“Oh, y’know. I fluctuate pretty easily. A few pizzas here and there and it’s game over.”

They walked into her kitchen and she had been right in assuming Shanna was still asleep. Unless she had awoken really early but that was highly unlikely, unless there was a sale at Ted Baker she didn’t know about.

He lingered in the doorway while she searched the fridge for a bottle of water. Grabbing one from the back, she turned to hand it to him expecting him to be within an arm’s reach from her but he had been distracted by something down the hall before turning back to her. Gratefully, he accepted it and walked into the kitchen to take up his usual spot leaning against the counter.

“Sorry, did you say you wanted a coffee?” She offered.

“Nah, I’m good. Can’t really take caffeine until this afternoon.”

“Sorry. I always forget how strict it is.” She apologised, offering him a sympathetic smile.

He took a long swig from the bottle, not breaking eye contact from her. “No need to apologise. You OK? Night shift?”

“Yeh. Pretty quiet, thankfully.”

“I’ve always meant to ask but what is it like, a night shift? I can’t work out if it would be worse or not.”

She understood what he meant and laughed. “It can go either way to be honest but it’s been quiet the last few nights. Nothing crazy. I caught up with some paperwork, so…” She shrugged again, acutely aware of how boring she must sound.

He nodded at her. “Aren’t people supposed to be crazier in the summertime?”

“Well, kids are around more and families tend to spend more time together, so…”

The apartment was unnervingly quiet now which was weird. She could hear the uptake in traffic outside which provided some relief that perhaps he couldn’t hear her heart beating out of her chest. She could make out some small sweat patches on his hoodie and it did something to her that she wasn’t expecting. Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to switch the kettle off.

“What?” He asked.

She jerked her head back around to face him. “Huh?”

“You were thinking of something. Your neck just went red.” He smiled, tilting his head at her and relishing the look of surprise making its way over her features, knowing he’d caught her out.

That was news to her. She knew she had “tells” but a red neck was not usually one of them. How come no one had ever told her about this?

“I can’t tell if you’re joking with me or not.” She inquired, playfully narrowing her eyes at him in an effort to lighten the mood.

He shrugged a shoulder at her, a smirk starting to cross his fine features. Joshing with her was good. She’d take that. A small step in the right direction.

“Sometimes, it’s really obvious. You get it when you’re embarrassed about something, or when you try to lie. I’d never really noticed it before, but...” He paused. His expression started to turn more thoughtful and she wished he’d just continue to make fun of her instead.

“Guess I won’t be playing poker anytime soon.” She finished the thought for him.

“Yeh, no, you’d be rubbish at that. Just terrible.” He took another swig from his bottle and waited for her to throw something at him.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

The room went quiet again. She stirred her mug of coffee and offered him another chance at one which he politely refused although his discipline was waning slightly now he could smell it.

“So this is fine.” He said after a couple of minutes, nodding in a slightly exaggerated manner. He looked out of the kitchen window. “We can do this, right? No awkwardness. No embarrassment. Just normal, everyday conversation.”

“’Course,” she nodded in agreement.

“Start as we mean to go on, right?”

She nodded again. This felt like a trap and she couldn’t put her finger on why. Chris had a knack for saying and doing two different things at the same time, an intimidating ability that often put people on edge if he thought it would serve his purpose, whatever that may be. Probably the actor in him. When you called him out, he would aggressively defend himself which only served to prove the point you were making in the first place.

Scott was the only one, truly, who knew when it was happening. It had taken Sarah years to get to a similar position but now, she wasn’t sure she was remotely close to it.

“It’s as good a starting point as any, I guess.” She shrugged again, sipping from her cup.

“So there’s no need to ignore me then.”

“I haven’t been ignoring you, have I?”

“You tell me. I’m just pre-empting it is all. I’m just saying we can still interact, you and me, if we need to. Like, it doesn’t always have to be in social settings with other people around.” He took a final drink from his bottle and turned to locate the recycling pot stashed away in the corner. Even with a mundane task, he always looked cool doing it.

“So don’t worry about it.”

“Alright then. That’s good to know.” She shot him a raised eyebrow which he caught and returned with a sly smirk. “I’m just trying to be sensible. We have to get this right or else there’s no point.”

“I know, I get that, too.” If he wasn’t attempting to be serious before, he was now. He had a hand on his hip and seemed to have grown a few inches in height. “What do you think I’m trying to say?”

“I…think I’m on the backfoot again and it’s weird.” She held a hand up in defence.

“Hey, I’m just doing what we agreed, OK? I’m just following your rules.”

“They’re not rules.” She struggled to regulate the volume in her voice in case she disturbed Shanna. “And you’re making it sound like I’m controlling the situation when I’m not. We both agreed on this. There’s no point being difficult about it.”

Was he being difficult? Yes. Obviously, he was. He wasn’t happy. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling but happy definitely wasn’t it. Things were out of sorts and he hadn’t been able to eat carbs or sugar for four days so the withdrawal symptoms certainly weren’t helping. He should go easier on her. She was doing the thinking for the both of them. He should learn to be more grateful for that.

He scratched the back of his head and let out an audible sigh in frustration. “I’ll try harder, I promise. We’ve got that cabin thing coming up with Mom, so…I promise I’ll be good.”

He imitated the scout salute and she smiled at him, a smile not quite reaching her eyes.

Another night shift and Audrey and was starting to get suspicious. No one willingly switched for a night shift. For one thing, there was a disproportionate amount of recovery time. A couple of night shifts often took in excess of a week to recover from; a week that a nurse definitely did not have to spare.

“He been buggin’ you?” she asked, finally growing tired of the silence.

“Who?” Sarah looked up from the cabinet. “No, not really. We haven’t really spoken.”

“So why are you ignoring him?”

“I’m not ignoring him! Why does everyone think that?”

“Who’s everyone?”

Crap. Audrey had her there. Sarah open and closed her mouth without a sound coming out. She took a breath. “He’s not bugging me. He’s not. I’m just trying to limit the times we’re in the same place at the same time.”

“Huh, you’d think he would at least allow you to have peace in your own home.”

“Well, to be fair, he hasn’t been around all that much, but…at least I don’t have to worry about him showing up unannounced. It’s stupid but I feel way more awkward about him than I thought I would. It’s like I can’t even stand to be under his gaze.”

Audrey glanced at her friend, wishing she could offer some words of comfort. Even for someone as verbose as she normally was, she was finding it a struggle. Sarah wasn’t much looking for words of comfort at the given time either. She was all too aware of the predicament she was in and how much responsibility laid at her feet. In her mind, waiting it out was the only logical solution she could come up with. The only logical solution that didn’t require more conversations with someone who could feasibly run rings around her “theory” that if they just stayed apart for a little while, they would suddenly and magically forget about the past couple of months.

They stayed filing documents in silence again, the air seemingly getting thicker.

“You ever spoken with someone and it’s like they’re thinking the complete opposite of what’s coming out of their mouth?” Sarah huffed while shoving the cabinet drawer closed.

“Not really. That person’s usually me.”

“But why?” she asked. “Why can’t you just be normal?”

“I mean, it’s not my go-to response of course. It’s normally reserved for occasions when I am trying to indulge someone because I know they’re talking bullshit. Like, when I know Mike has been gambling but he tries to deny it? It’s just easier to figure him out that way.”

Sarah froze to the spot, looking at her friend. She breathed a heavy sigh and turned to lean back on the table behind her and crossed her arms. She stared at her shoes for a second.

“Chris is a smart guy. I’ll give him that.” Audrey muttered loudly so she was sure Sarah could hear.

“Give me something! I’m your friend here.” She implored her before chuckling to herself at Audrey’s face and her own apparent lack of self-awareness.

“You know what I think? You’ve probably got withdrawal symptoms from the all the amazing sex you’ve had and now you’re sulking. I think you should get back on that horse and let him fuck you again. That’s what this is.”

Sarah eyed her friend again. For once, she would love to hear someone tell her that she was right. “That’s really not helping, y’know.”

“And this is?!” Audrey’s shriller tone cut through the dry air, smacking Sarah right in the face. “Honey, this isn’t healthy. You hiding out in the hospital and treating it like your own solace is not healthy at all. I love you but you are your own worst enemy.”

“Alright, thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you for your unswerving efforts to be honest with me at all times and not, like a normal pal, be comforting in any way.” Sarah comically bowed to her friend before considering leaving the office. She would have followed through with the idea as well if it wasn’t for the cosy warmth of O’Brien’s office versus the coldness of the ER department thanks to a leaking pipe. “It’s difficult. I’m sorry. I don’t wanna fall out with you, Audrey.”

Audrey just smiled at her. “I don’t know why you think you have to be the beacon of morality all the time, Sarah. Take a look around. No one else is. We all out here just trying to live our lives as best we can and a part of that is taking advantage of moments of happiness when we find them.”

Something about what Audrey was saying did resonate with her but comparing two months of happiness with Chris to ten years with Shanna was not something she could in good conscience do. Shanna was her security blanket. She provided a comfort of living with someone with shared life experience, of knowing how little you thought about yourself because you were given up as a baby. Honestly, from the very first day they had met, Sarah felt lucky to know her.

Yes, Shanna could be immature at times. Maybe a little selfish. She would often get carried away with trivial things and wasn’t the most reliable person, but what Sarah got in return was worth that and more. Her family enjoyed highlighting the maternal care Sarah would have to provide to someone who was seven months older than she was, but honestly it didn’t matter.

Maybe this was one of the rare occasions where Audrey was wrong.

Chris was a fling at best, Sarah told herself, when she was lying in bed struggling to fall asleep. When she was cold and missing his arms around her. They were both having shitty times and they both got something out of it. That was what Chris had said himself at the very beginning.

Chris 08.15am: You home? Shanna said you were working late again

It was like he knew she would be thinking about him.

Chris 08.17am: I really dont want u ignoring me all the time. This is hard for me right now as well

Fuck.

Sarah 08.21am: I kno. I’m so sorry I made you feel like that :(

He didn’t respond. She thought she saw the tell-tale three dots of him writing something but nothing appeared. Giving up on sleep, she got up and headed into the kitchen. Shanna had left her some bacon in the fridge and a fresh bread bun on the side so she turned on the grill and set about making some coffee.

She felt strangely awake for this time and the apartment was nice and warm from the bright sunshine streaming in from all corners. Maybe a run would help. Or a cold shower.

Chris 08.44am: I wanna be honest with u but I dont think u want that

Chris 08.45am: so what do i do??

Fuck knows.

Chris 08.51am: Can I come over?

Sarah 08.54am: that’s not a good idea

Chris 08.55am: cos you know what will happen?

Chris 08.56am: what does that tell you??

She was sure he was nursing some kind of hangover or, quite possibly, he was still a little bit drunk. There were two responses she could give, she figured. The first would be her usual denial and perhaps an excuse that she was busy or working later than planned. The second, and ultimately the one she opted for, was to agree with him.

Sarah 09.05am: I know what it tells me. That’s why I’m saying you shouldn’t come over

Another three dots followed. There was only so many times they could go around and around in circles and as much as Audrey’s words made sense to her, it felt like she had to make the effort to regain some normality.

He didn’t respond. She stared at her phone for an age but nothing came through. Maybe he got the message? Maybe he had fallen asleep. She was both relieved and suspicious; Chris wasn’t someone who backed down from an argument when he thought he was right. He had said as much himself.

She turned the grill off, having lost her appetite. A run might make more sense and could help clear her head.

She couldn’t sit around waiting for Chris to make his next move.

#Chris evans #chris evans fic #evans fic #fanfiction #clear the area #sarah bernette #chris evans x original female character

23 notes · View notes

spaceskam · 5 years ago

Text

Him. (the werewolf au)

warning: mild sexual content, guns, hunting, daddy issues

ao3

Alex Manes did not get along with other human beings. It was a simple fact.

He'd known he was different from a very young age because of this one little fact. It meant he got in fights at school. It meant he didn't listen. It meant he was deliberately rude. He didn't mean to come off so horrible, but he learned it was the only way to get people to leave him alone. If he was an asshole and perceived dangerous, they’d leave him alone.

Another one of those little things he did as a kid to make him unapproachable was spend his free time in the woods, usually with his grandmother who lived in a cabin deep in the trees. While normally, in any other place, that wouldn’t be a problem. Maybe that’d make him a person to bully, but here it just made him that much more of an obvious outcast that people didn’t even want to associate with negatively.

According to the hunters' legend, the wolves that populated the woods outside of Roswell weren’t quite... normal. They were larger than normal, more violent, more deadly. They were the wolves, yes, but also not. Whispers were spread from generation to generation about how everyone should be wary of people they didn’t know well enough; you never knew who wasn’t quite who they claimed to be. Alex thought it was funny to play right into that idea.

His grandmother, before she’d died, had been the only sane one. She’d learned to fend for herself, growing her own food and hunting deer and using every part of the animal to avoid going into town. She was completely self sufficient where she lived in the middle of the woods and not once had she ever had a negative encounter with those supposedly vicious wolves. She was more reliable than the hunters and their tall tales, Alex deduced, and had been living in her old cabin since he was 16.

It wasn’t that easy, though. His father was still the leader of the group of hunters that ran the town and made it their mission to go out into the woods once a month and try to kill one of those wolves. They usually succeeded. It was a carnal, horrific act that was meant to be applauded, parading these dead animals around after they’d killed them and insisting that they were in some way human and not caring. Alex hated it.

And yet he was still a Manes man. His brothers still came to him for deer meat and kept him up to date on town gossip. His father still stopped by and made it clear that people spoke negatively about him and that he should join the hunt. After all, he was skilled gunman, he’d be good at it. But Alex denied.

On the few occasions that he did go into town–whether it be for things like soap or just simply a man to warm his bed for the night–people stared. The Manes boy who went wrong, the Manes boy who was one of them, the Manes boy who had somehow made it to the age of 26 without caving under his father’s iron rule. He’d be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel powerful.

“Don’t you get lonely?” Forrest asked. He was nice and he was cute and he didn’t judge Alex, always being open to make the drive into the woods for a lengthy fuck in front of the fire. Alex wouldn’t even mind seeing him more than once every two weeks if he didn’t do things like ask that.

“No,” Alex said, shaking his head. He was in Forrest’s lap, both of them bare and comfortable being that way. Another benefit of living in the woods was that, as long as the hunt wasn’t happening, there was a very slim chance anyone would stop by without a warning. They could do whatever they wanted.

“I would,” he admitted, “If I lived out here, I would.”

“Good thing you don’t live out here then,” Alex said. Forrest wrinkled up his nose before giving a playful laugh, reaching a hand up to comb Alex’s long hair behind his ear. He couldn’t actually remember the last time he cut it, but it didn’t matter because it pissed off his dad and for that reason alone he would never cut it again.

“You ever think about moving back into town?” he wondered, craning his neck as Alex moved down to kiss his neck. He slowly kissed his way to his ear, taking it between his teeth gently.

“I’d rather put my dick in a blender,” Alex said as seductively as he could. He felt Forrest physically recoil at the thought, a groan coming from him as he leaned away. Alex smiled.

“Why do you say shit like that? Jesus,” Forrest breathed, shaking his head. Alex just grinned at him until he grinned right back. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, I believe that so much,” Alex said sarcastically, rolling his hips forward to get a little bit of a reaction from him. It worked far too easily. “Round two?”

“You expect me to say no to that?”

“No, I really don’t.”

Forrest left around two in the morning, needing a little coercion to make him realize staying over night wasn’t an option. Telling him he planned to be up early to do yoga didn’t work, but telling him he’d be forcing him to wake up at 5AM to join if he didn’t leave definitely did.

He didn’t really understand Forrest’s desire to be around him. Sure, he was probably the only person Alex had found since his grandmother that he could tolerate for more than thirty minutes, but that didn’t mean he wanted him around always. He liked space, he liked being alone. His brothers asked often when he would settle down and Forrest occasionally liked to see if he wanted something more, but apparently ‘I don’t want to’ wasn’t a valid answer. Apparently, it wasn’t right to enjoy being on your own.

Sometimes, on days that weren’t great, he’d consider it, though. He felt like this now, yes, but would he always? Wouldn’t he want someone eventually? And, when that time came, wouldn’t it be nice to have Forrest around, someone who he already knew he could tolerate? But then he remembered that’s just what society told him to feel.

If he found someone worth altering his life for, it wouldn’t be a question. He’d know it.

Bright and early the next morning, Gregory Manes, the middle Manes boy, showed up at the door with iced coffee. He was the least pushy of Alex’s brothers and was the only one who, while still going hunting every month, hadn’t killed any wolves. That was the only reason Alex tolerated his early morning visits.

“Wasn’t Flint supposed to come?” Alex asked, sipping the coffee as he led the way to the side door. It entered straight into the not-quite-outside room that Alex used to do all the fun stuff like skinning and packaging.

“Yeah, but I wanted to come talk to you,” Greg said. Alex raised an eyebrow as he opened the freezer, desensitized to the smell of blood and meat that filled the room as he continued to drink his coffee while simultaneously pulling out package deer meat to put in a bag. For a town full of hunters, they never seemed to be able to get any deer of their own.

“Why?”

“You need to steer clear of that Long boy. Or at least tell him to stop acting like you two are an item,” Greg said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Since when had he ever taken being told what to do well? “I’m not judging you or trying to tell you what to do. I’m just saying he’s starting to outcast himself by association and he seems too nice to suffer like that.”

“He shouldn’t be telling anyone that we’re together anyway,” Alex said, slamming the freezer door shut, “We aren’t and he knows that.”

“Okay, well make sure he knows that. Mrs. Sibley, the lady who runs the coffee shop, refused him service this morning and I have to assume it’s because word is getting around that you two are together.”

That took Alex off guard as he looked at him with wide eyes. Even he had never been refused service. Maybe that was the fear, but still.

“Seriously? Jesus, why do any of you stay in that town?”

“It’s not that easy to just get out.”

“For him it would be. He’s smart and friendly, he’d be able to get out easily,” Alex explained. Greg sighed.

“I don’t know, that’s not my call to make. All I’m sayin’ is he’s gonna suffer if something doesn’t change,” he said. Alex nodded and decided to be nice about it. He knew Forrest wouldn’t listen to him if he told him to stop, but it wouldn’t hurt Alex to distance himself from him for his own good. He didn’t need him like that.

“Okay.”

“Also,” Greg sighed, “I need you to drive into town later and pick up Isobel from work because I have to get ready for the hunt tonight.”

Alex froze and looked over at him, carefully pulling the coffee away from his lips. Greg was giving him that pleading little smile and Alex hated him for it. This is why he didn’t socialize. They did shit like this.

“So this is a bribery coffee?” he asked. Greg rolled his eyes.

“Please? Your the only guy that I trust around her anyway.”

“Then maybe get her to ask one of her friends? You know, women so she doesn’t have to be picked up from work by some guy she’s met once?” Alex explained.

Greg gave him that look like he should know that wasn’t an option. Which, granted, it sort of wasn’t. All the women in the town usually got together on the night of the hunt to cook for all the men when they got back. It was all very sexist if Alex was concerned. But, still, Isobel already got judged because she wasn’t from around there. If she asked someone to go out of their way on the night of the hunt, it could make it worse.

“Fine,” he groaned, “But you owe me. That’s like a two hour round trip just to pick up your girlfriend.”

“I’ll pay for your gas and I’ll make sure dad doesn’t come around here for three months,” Greg offered. Alex eyed him.

“Deal.”

Alex spent his day compiling fire wood, checking his garden, and making sure the fence around his cabin was secure. His one rule was that, during hunts, if any of the fuckers even tried to enter or shoot around his property, he’d shoot them. They listened, but you could never be too cautious.

He combed and braided his hair before he left, even bothering to get dressed in something that wasn’t dirty. As much as he didn’t care to impress anyone, he also wasn’t too keen on alienating a girl who was already alienated enough.

She was quiet when he picked her up from her work, saying her thanks and nothing more. He dropped her off and immediately started heading back home. The sun was starting to go down and he knew that as soon as it go dark, idiots would be in the woods. He was trying to avoid getting his tires blown by boys who got spooked by every little sound and mistook his truck for a wolf.

He was none too lucky though, navigating that dirt road that he specifically carved out for his truck as the siren rang throughout the town to signify the beginning of the hunt. He rolled his eyes and kept an eye out for people that were in the woods hunting, not really eager to hit anyone despite the fact that he could hear just how gun crazy they were.

But then something dark was laying in the middle of the path. Alex slowed to a stop and turned on his brights. He felt all the air leave his lungs as he realized it was a wolf. Big as ever, but not in pieces every other time he’d seen one. Instead, this one was wounded and looking in the lights with scared eyes.

Against all better judgement, Alex climbed out of his truck and slowly started walking towards it. It was hurt, but it wasn’t dead. Maybe he could help and then he could feel just a little bit better knowing he wasn’t as bad as the rest of his family.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, as he neared the animal. It’s fur was thick and a dark brown, eyes almost too human as they stared him down His stomach swooped in fear, but kept his hands where the animal could see and took slow steps. “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just wanna help, okay?”

The wolf whined, but didn’t bark or growl. Alex tried to remember all the tales of how vicious these creatures were and wondered if maybe, just maybe, they were only vicious because they were treated with venom first.

“Let’s see where you’re hurt, okay?” Alex cooed as he got close, crouching slowly. He held eye contact and slowly reached to pet the wolf’s head, promising that he wasn’t a threat. It didn’t bite his hand off, so that was a plus.

It only took a few seconds to see that there was a bullet graze in it’s front leg which was probably why it was in the middle of a path instead of hiding somewhere. However, it looked like something he could feasibly patch up. Alex frowned as he tried to figure out how the hell he was going to get the animal back to his cabin. Sure, he was strong, but strong enough to pick up a whole ass wolf?

A gunshot rang through the air and the wolf startled, whining and fearful. Alex had never felt so much compassion for anything in his entire life. Never had he ever felt as bad for a human as he did for this wolf. Which is probably what led him to deciding to carry it.

“Give me one second, okay? I’m gonna help. If you wanna bite my arm off, that’s cool too,” Alex said before running back to his truck. He dropped the tailgate and grabbed a blanket from the back seat before heading back to the wolf. “I got you.”

He laid out the blanket as fast as he could and, will a lot of struggling, he managed to get the wolf on it. He didn’t question why it was trusting him so much, he just went with it. His grandmother did always say he had an open soul. He always thought that was bullshit, but maybe he was just open to a different species.

He dragged the blanket with the wolf on it all the way to the back of the truck and winced when another shot echoed through the air. Alex said a few cursed under his breath before looking down at the wolf that was staring up at him, putting it’s life in his hands so willingly.

“This is probably gonna hurt, okay? I’m sorry,” he warned.

Alex gathered the ends of the blanket and wrapped them around his hands, trying to think of it as picking up a heavy log instead of a living being as he lifted it and tried to throw it in the back of the truck as gently as possible. That didn’t stop the pained yap the wolf made when it hit the bed of the truck and Alex instantly gave it another pet.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “Stay put, okay? It’s gonna be okay.”

He closed the tailgate and quickly got back into his truck, driving the rest of the way feeling like he had stepped into a different side of reality. This is why he didn’t go out during hunts. Now he had a stupid wolf to take care of.

When he got to his cabin, he moved fast to get the wolf from the bed of the truck and inside. It’d be safe there as long as no one actually saw him taking it in there. Alex had zero faith in his father to respect his privacy if there was a wolf involved.

“Alright, it’s okay,” Alex cooed, repeating himself over and over as he carefully got the wolf onto the ground. It was a lot easier to do that than it’d been to lift it, so that he was thankful for.

He dragged the wolf on the blanket all the way through the front door and locked it behind him, letting out a huff of relief. He stood there for a moment to catch his breath as the wolf stared up at him,

“You trust me, right?” Alex asked rhetorically, but the wolf rolled onto his side and gave him unbridled access to tend to the wound on his leg. Alex tilted his head to the side. “Oh, you really trust me. Guess I gotta make it worth your while, huh? Gimme one second.”

Alex flicked on the lights in the kitchen, not giving a shit if it obscured the men hunting. He was the one that rigged up the generator and he was going to use it regardless. He started searching for his first aid kit, a rag, and then got two separate bowls to fill with water (well water, he couldn’t take credit for that, that was his grandmother’s doing).

He brought everything back to the wolf and sat on the ground beside him, opening the first aid kid.

“Here’s water if you need it,” Alex said, putting one of the bowls by the wolf’s head, “This might hurt a little... I say to an animal who literally can’t understand me.”

The wolf a soft huff of acknowledgement, ears flicking. Alex smiled and shook his head, scooting a little closer. He tried to be gentle as he looked at the wolf’s bleeding leg, dipping the rag into the other bowl of water to use to wipe it clean.

“It’s just a graze,” he murmured in confirmation, “Took a chunk of flesh, but I think it’s superficial. You’ll be okay.”

Still, he got a little gauze pad and wet it with hydrogen peroxide before cleaning it with that. The wolf let out another whine and Alex gave mindless words of encouragement, trying to move as quickly as possible. After that, he got neosporin and dabbed that over it as well before wrapping it up. He hoped it would be enough. He decided he’d just keep a close eye on it to make sure he would be okay.

“You can stay here until you feel better,” Alex promised, petting the wolf’s stomach gently. He watched him lap up a bit of water before laying his head back down. “You look tired.”

Tired sounded nicer than in pain because surely that’s what he really felt. Nonetheless, Alex pet him a few more times before getting up to put the first aid kid away and discard the bloody rag and bloody water bowl.

The wolf stayed right there by the entrance of the kitchen on the blanket, watching Alex as he got up to make some semblance of dinner. He hummed to himself and to the wolf as gunshots continued. He didn’t want him to be scared.

He made himself deer sausage and a potato, keeping it plain and simple. On another plate, he put a slab or raw deer meat and went back to sitting on the floor.

“I don’t know if you’re hungry, but here,” Alex said as he placed the plate beside him. The wolf eyed him, but Alex kept to himself as he ate his own food. It seemed to be enough and he eventually started taking small, delicate bites. Alex grinned. “Not very wolf-like.”

The wolf gave a superficial growl and Alex smiled even wider.

They ate in silence for the most part, gunshots dying down as it got darker. Usually, by 10, the wolves were either in hiding or dead and the men retreated back into town. Alex stayed with his wolf until the siren signified the hunt was over at 11PM.

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go get ready for bed,” Alex told him after cleaning their dishes and double checking the lock on the door, “I’ll leave your water there.”

Alex headed into his room after that, grabbing a pair of sweats, an old sweater, and fresh boxers before he stripped down. He could take a shower in the morning.

Right as he dropped his pants to the ground, he heard uneven tapping against the wood floors. He looked over his shoulder to see the wolf in all his wounded glory limping his way to be near him.

“Excuse you,” Alex said, feigning modesty. The wolf just gave another soft whine and Alex shook his head with a laugh, pulling on his clean clothes. When he looked back again, the wolf had gotten onto the left side of his bed. “Oh, so now you can walk and jump? You really did just want me to carry you.” Another whine. “Kidding.”

Alex climbed into bed, careful to be mindful of his wounded bed partner. He wasn’t actually used to sharing a bed to actually sleep, but this felt like a valid exception to the rule. He pet the wolf beside him a few times and scratched behind his ear.

“Goodnight.”

The next few days went by with ease.

They’d get up early, eat breakfast, tend to the garden, eat lunch, hunt deer, get firewood, eat dinner, go to sleep, repeat. The wolf followed Alex around as much as he could and he got stronger each day. By the third day, he wasn’t even limping anymore.

“I have never seen something heal this fast,” Alex marveled as he cleaned up the wound that was now just a scratch after dinner, “That’s insane.”

He stood once he was done and headed into the kitchen to wash his hands again. It was strange. This was the first time since his grandmother died that he didn’t get annoyed by the constant companionship. Hell, even when she was around, he’d go get lost in the woods for a few hours to be in his own mind. But there was something comforting about having another being that didn’t talk back. There was no annoyance about him, just a presence to remind him that he wasn’t completely alone.

Alex was halfway through putting his hair in a bun when someone knocked on the door. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and the wolf stood in attention. No one had told him they were stopping by.

Still, he made his way to the door with the wolf hot on his heels.

“Go,” he whispered to him, shooing him away, “Go in there.”

It took a few seconds of staring him down, but eventually the wolf went into the living room. Alex closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath, hoping that Greg had kept his word and it wasn’t his father. If his dad found out he was harboring a wolf, well, they had bigger problems.

Alex opened the door and saw Forrest, the man smiling hesitantly.

“Um, hey,” Alex said, “What are you doing here?”

“You didn’t return any of my texts,” he said, “I was kinda worried.”

“You shouldn’t be, you know I don’t look at that thing,” Alex said. Forrest nodded, looking around as if trying to find a reason to stay. “Look, my brother told me about people acting rude towards you because of me. I think it’s best if we stopped.”

Forrest looked taken aback. “They’re rude because I’m gay.”

Alex gave a small smile and shook his head. “No. Well, maybe a little, but Mrs. Sibley wouldn’t refuse service to someone because they’re gay. Not saying she’s the most welcoming person in the world, but she takes her money very seriously. It’s because you’ve mentioned me to people.”

He bowed his head for a moment, thinking about it. Alex expected him to leave, but instead he just looked back up at him and shrugged.

“Fuck ‘em.”

“No,” Alex said, “No, I’m not about to be responsible for you.”

“Then I’ll say we broke up.”

“We aren’t dating.”

“Yeah, but clearly they think we are,” Forrest said, shaking his head, “Look, I don’t give a shit what we are. You’re the only guy in this town that is both not straight and not conformed to this town’s bullshit agenda. Can’t I fuck at least one person that isn’t a Republican?”

Alex snorted a laugh and felt himself caving. He did like having Forrest at his beck and call for the same reason that Forrest clearly liked having him. They were two of the only sane people.

“Fine,” Alex said, looking him up and down, “But you still came back here awfully soon.”

“What can I say? The hunt always makes me hate everyone around there a little more,” Forrest explain. Alex took that as a perfectly valid answer.

He pulled Forrest into his house and into a kiss, slamming the door behind him. Forrest grinned easily, wrapping his arms around his torso and pulling him in tight. Alex could feel how toned he was through his shirt which, honestly, he loved. Alex did yoga and lifted heavy shit, but he wasn’t all sculpted with abs and stuff. Forrest, on the other hand, was.

Their make-out was interrupted by a loud bark. Forrest nearly jumped out of his skin and Alex instantly looked over his shoulder to where the wolf was all but glaring at them.

He was growling low as he slowly stalked forward. Alex couldn’t be fucked to find it intimidating.

“Really? Relax,” Alex told the wolf. He just growled right back. Forrest hid behind him shamelessly.

“Since when did you get a fucking dog?” he asked. Alex didn’t really have an answer, so he just shrugged and then walked closer. He knelt down in front of the wolf despite his anger and looked him in his all too human eyes.

“Go to bed,” he said. The wolf’s angry demeanor dropped in favor of something close to a pout, a mournful whine coming from him. “Go.”

He slowly walked away, head bowed and tail all but tucked between his legs. Alex huffed and stood back up, turning to Forrest who seemed very confused still.

“What the hell was that?” he asked. Alex just shrugged and walked closer. He didn’t want to explain himself and he wasn’t about to. Forrest didn’t question him as he pulled him back into a kiss and started pulling him to the couch.

Alex tried, he really did, but it was hard to enjoy having sex when there was a wolf dramatically walking through the house and whining for attention. They got as far as Alex being shirtless and on his back on the couch and Forrest kissing down his chest to go down on him when they had to stop because the fucking wolf was just watching them like a disappointed parent who whined louder and louder by the second.

“Go to bed!” Alex told him. He just laid down on the floor right there as if that’s what Alex meant. “Oh my God,” he groaned, throwing his head back. Forrest chuckled against his stomach before sitting up.

“This is what you get for getting a dog.”

“Well, if I knew getting cock-blocked was a side effect of a pet, then I’d never have signed up.”

Forrest gave a small laugh and they both sat up, accepting that there was no way to continue without feeling awkward as hell. The wolf seemed awfully proud of himself.

“Why did you get a dog, anyway? I thought you said you weren’t lonely,” Forrest said.

“I’m not. And I didn’t really want him. I found him and he was hurt, so I’m letting him stay until he’s healed,” Alex explained. Forrest gave a teasing smile.

“You helped something in need? Aw, who knew you had it in you.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Alex laughed, reclining back against the couch, “I guess you can go now since we’re clearly not allowed to do anything.”

“Seriously?” Forrest asked. Alex just raised an eyebrow. He sighed, but clearly wasn’t too shocked. He probably would’ve been more shocked if Alex actually condoned in letting him stick around if they weren’t going to hook up. “Alright then.”

Alex walked him back to the door and they shared a kiss before Alex locked up after him. He glared at the wolf when he walked back into the living room, shaking his head.

“Can’t believe I’m just letting you tell me what to do in my own home,” Alex scolded as he dropped back on the couch. The wolf got up and came over, jumping up onto the couch and licked at his face. Alex tried to lean away, but the slobbery kisses kept on. “Haha, very funny.”

The licks stopped, but the wolf laid heavily on him. Alex just accepted it and relaxed into the couch, stroking his soft fur. Was it bad if he didn’t mind this over sleeping with Forrest?

“Lets go to bed, I guess,” Alex sighed eventually, giving him one last scratch before they both got down from the couch.

It felt standard now to walk to his bedroom and change and get comfortable in bed with a huge ass wolf. He’d only been doing it for a few nights and yet it was like he couldn’t remember not being this way. He was almost sad at the prospect of sleeping alone again.

“You’re almost all healed,” Alex whispered into the darkness but he trusted the wolf understood every word. He stared at him with conviction like he always did and Alex no longer assumed he didn’t hear him. He did. “Are you gonna run off tomorrow?”

The wolf blinked once and then shifted closer, nudging his nose against Alex’s chin and laying his head on his chest. Alex huffed a laugh and shamelessly buried his face in his fur.

“I’ll take that as I’ll at least see you around.”

Alex woke up the next morning, not to fur, but to skin.

When he opened his eyes, he was face to face with a man. Alex immediately jumped up and scrambled out of bed, his heart thudding in his chest. The man in his bed sat up, unabashedly naked as he sat criss-cross and blinked up at Alex. He tilted his head to the side in that distinctly animalistic way that made Alex’s heart stop.

“What the fuck?” Alex asked, raking his hands through his hair as he tried to make sense of this, “What the fuck?”

“I’m all healed now, see?” the man said, pointing to the faintest little scar on his arm. Alex’s mouth went dry at the confirmation. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.

“I-what? Oh my God, cover up, I can’t fucking think,” Alex said and the man just smiled at him, doing as he said. He had curly hair that almost reached his shoulders and stubble dotting his cheeks along with a hairy chest. His shoulders were broad and so was his smile, his skin tan in a way that complimented his muscles. He was hot. But he wasn’t fucking human. “I’m so confused.”

“Why?” he asked. Alex scoffed, eyes nearly bulging out of his head.

“What do you mean why? I went to sleep with a wolf in my bed and woke up to a fucking man,” Alex pointed out. He blinked innocently, those eyes identical to the ones he’d seen in the wolf. It was only more confirmation.

“You like men.”

“And I liked your smartass comments better when I couldn’t hear them,” he said. Again he just blinked and tilted his head. Alex rubbed his hands over his face. “I just... I know the legend, but... really? Is this really a thing? What the fuck?”

“I... I don’t know what you want me to say,” he said. Alex took a deep breath, trying to focus on his thoughts so he could ask the right questions. When he did, though, they came out all at once.

“How do you speak English so well? Why did you wait so long to show me that you’re human? Why did you show me at all? Are you human? What’s your name? How old are you? What the fuck?” Alex rambled. The not-wolf stared at him with wide, overwhelmed eyes. “Fuck.”

“I... I...” he stuttered out, furrowing his eyebrows, “You usually say less words.”

“Yeah, well, I usually don’t get confirmation of fucking mythical creatures,” Alex snapped. The not-wolf’s face slowly got more and more concerned, not longer any trace of that big smile. In fact, he looked scared. Alex sighed and rubbed his hands over his face again. He’d told that wolf four days ago that he was safe here and he meant it. Even if that meant he had just quickly adjust to this. “I’m sorry for freaking out. Look, just... I’ll lend you some clothes and then you can explain everything to me while we make breakfast. Okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, nodding his head as he stood to his feet with complete disregard of his nudity. He stumbled a little as he did so, catching himself on the wall and laughing a little. “These feet are weird.”

“Yeah,” Alex breathed, looking away and hoping he had clothes that would fit him. He picked out the baggiest sweater and baggiest pair of sweats he owned, turning to give the pair to him. He took them with welcome hands.

Alex watched as he fumbled with them, sitting the sweats on the bed as he decided to focus on the sweater first. He twisted it and unfolded it, flipping it around in his hands a few times before finding the large opening at the bottom. He looked up at Alex for confirmation that he was doing it right. All it told Alex was that he was basically dealing with a fresh goddamn human.

He stuck his hands inside, stretching and moving wildly as he tried to make it work. Alex smiled at the childish nature of it and moved forward, helping him get his arms through the sleeves and his head through the collar. He flashed a smile when they made eye contact.

“Can you get the pants or do you need help with that too?”

“I got it. You did it so many times.”

“Great, glad to know I could teach you something,” Alex huffed, shaking his head with a little laugh. Still, the not-wolf had to sit on the bed and focus harder than normal to get his legs through the pants. “Does your hand-eye coordination improve the longer you’re human or am I going to have to teach you how to function?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Like, do you get better at doing things?”

“Oh. Yes.”

“Got it.”

They made their way into the kitchen and the not-wolf stood too close to him, lingering over his shoulder as if his wolf boundaries were still acceptable in human form. They weren’t though, not really, and Alex shoved him away.

“Give me space,” he instructed. He agreed, moving a few feet away before eventually deciding to sit on the floor by his water bowl that was probably not helpful anymore. “Now, give me answers.”

Within the 15 minutes it took to cook eggs and deer sausage, Alex got the run down of all things mythical. He learned that it was extremely difficult to shift when they were hurt, meaning he couldn’t have let Alex know earlier if he tried (but they healed faster in wolf form anyway so it was pointless). He also learned that he spent most of his time as a wolf, but usually became human during hunts because his elders had taught him that was what he should do. That was how his English had gotten as good as it had.

“Wait, so why were you a wolf during this last hunt? What happened?” Alex asked. He shifted awkwardly, pulling on the sleeves of the sweater as he tried to find his words.

“Days are different out there, it’s hard to know exactly when the hunt will be. Usually, my sister comes to get me and gives me a place to go, but this time she didn’t. I-I don’t know why,” he said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows as he looked over at him.

“Your sister?”

“Yes. She spends most of her time human, she doesn’t like being outside like that.”

“Because of the hunt?”

“No,” he said, but then he paused for a moment, “Yes. I don’t know. It’s strange. She wants to be normal, so she goes. I like being that.”

“I get it,” Alex said easily. He dispersed the food onto two plates and walked over to him, sitting down on the floor with him. He handed him the plate and a fork, but he simply put the fork on the ground and used his hands. “So, do you have a name? Or do you spend so much time as a wolf that you don’t have one?”

“No, I have one,” he said, picking up a small section of scrambled egg with all five of his fingers. Alex smiled as he shoved it in his mouth in the messiest way possible. “It’s Michael.”

“Michael,” Alex repeated, “I’m Alex.”

“Alex,” he said, nodding his head as he shoved more egg into his mouth, “I never had this food, Alex, it’s good.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome.”

They ate in silence for a little while longer, Alex finding amusement in watching him make a mess and then eventually having to show him how to wash his hands. Instead of a morning workout or going immediately to his garden, they sat down on the couch to talk more. Michael sat too close, too eager to lay on him like he did when he was a wolf.

“Okay, you can’t do that,” Alex told him, pushing him away until they were firmly on other sides of the couch, “I don’t like that.”

“Like what?”

“The whole unnecessary touch thing.”

“That man that was here before did that,” Michael pointed out. Alex opened his mouth to explain, but then he realized that Michael had caused that whole scene and knew exactly what he was doing.

“Yeah, and you ran him off. Why would you do that?” Alex asked. Michael had no shame as he looked at him.

“Not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

“He got all the petting and he was only here for a few minutes. I got none for that whole time,” Michael explained like it was obvious. Alex scoffed, but couldn’t help but laugh.

“You aren’t entitled to my attention, you know that right? I can pet whoever I want,” Alex said. Michael just shrugged, twisting to sit with his back against the arm of the couch and his legs criss-cross again. “But I was trying to have a sex and I think you knew that.”

Michael gave a guilty smile.

“What the fuck?” Alex said, giving another little laugh, “You’re such an ass.”

Michael laughed, so open and free that Alex nearly felt guilty for being cynical. But, still, this wasn’t a completely understood situation.

“So, what’s the plan? ‘Cause you can’t stay with me forever,” Alex told him. Michael pulled his leg up, resting his chin on his knee and giving him those sad puppy eyes that worked just as well as they did when he was an actual dog. “Oh no, you’re not guilting me into letting you stay here.”

“But I’m hurt.”

“You said it yourself, you’re all healed,” Alex pointed out. Slowly, that bottom lip popped out in a pout and Alex had to fight a smile.

“But we’re friends.”

“Friends don’t cock-block each other.”

Still, that pout was still there. Alex shook his head, trying to hide his laugh before he got up. He was just going to have to think about this more. He felt bad just throwing him back out when he knew that his family was trigger happy, but he didn’t like the idea of having a whole ass person in his house. Maybe they could compromise.

“Look, I’m gonna go take a shower, can I trust you to stay put?” Alex asked. Michael nodded. “Good.”

The rest of the day somehow carried on like normal. Michael sat on the bed like he always did to watch Alex braid his hair, staring like it was the most interesting thing in the world. They went to work on the garden together, this time with Michael working on his hand-eye coordination by trying to help. It was the same as they went to cut fire wood. Turns out there was a bonus to having someone around with werewolf strength--the dude could basically carry a whole ass tree.

For some reason, Alex didn’t hate it. He didn’t hate having him tag along and he didn’t hate having to explain things to him. He felt more patient than ever and that in itself was wild. He didn’t like people. But, then again, Michael wasn’t quite people.

“You need to go take a shower,” Alex told him that night. Michael just stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “Don’t look at me like that. If you’re gonna stay in human form, you have to act like one.”

With a little bit of persuasion, Alex showed him how the shower worked and what soap to use on his hair and what soap to use on his body. Alex waited outside of the bathroom for about five minutes until a large crash happened and not-so-manly whining followed it.

“What did you do?” Alex asked.

“My eyes,” Michael whined. Alex sighed and asked for permission to help him. It was granted without hesitation.

He walked into the tiny bathroom and pulled back the shower curtain, seeing him holding his palms to his eyes and yet barely any soap in his hair. Alex grabbed a rag and peeled his hands away from his eyes, holding his chin as he dabbed over his closed eyes.

“Now blink a lot,” Alex told him. He did as he was told for about a solid minute until it didn’t hurt as bad.

Alex decided to stay and showed him how to wash his hair, massaging his scalp and smiling at the way he seemed to purr at the sensation. He helped him rinse it out before deciding he could wash his body on his own. He left him with a warning that he needed to be completely dry with the towel before he came out. The instructions worked well enough despite Alex ending up drying his hair for him.

“So, I don’t know if you plan to stay human, but if you do, we can go to a thrift shop and get you some clothes of your own,” Alex offered as he gave him another pair of clothing. He would have to do laundry soon which was always a pain in the ass.

“I’d like to stay human for a little while,” Michael said, putting on the sweater with a little less trouble this time.

“I thought you said you liked being a wolf.”

“Yes,” Michael said, “But I like being with you.”

Alex ignored the way his stomach clenched and he just made his way towards the bedside table, grabbing his brush before undoing his braid. He didn’t mind Michael, but the fact that he didn’t mind him was scary. It was scarier to know that Michael wanted to stay human to be around him. What exactly did that mean? Nothing, right? They hadn’t known each other long enough to be more than nothing.

The bed creaked as Michael crawled onto it and Alex eyed him.

“What are you doing? You’re sleeping on the couch,” Alex said. Michael made a wounded noise, looking up to him like Alex had just told him his dog died. “I told you. If you’re human, you have to act like it. Humans don’t share beds with strangers.”

Michael didn’t move, looking up at Alex like he was genuinely, deeply hurt by the idea that, not only could they not share a bed, but that he was a stranger. Alex held up his end for a total of thirty seconds before he caved. What the hell was this wolf-man doing to him? Since when was he this fucking nice?

“Fine,” Alex groaned. Michael instantly fell into bed and curled into the blankets, smiling all proud of himself. Alex shook his head, finishing brushing his hair before he climbed into bed too.

Like the night before, only much different, Michael nuzzled his face under Alex’s chin. He snuggled close like that was okay and shifting and itching as he tried to get comfortable in not only his new skin, but new clothes. Alex thought about pointing out that unnecessary touching thing again, but he smelled good and he wasn’t actually that bothered. He didn’t instigate it by touching him more, but he definitely didn’t push him away.

“Alex?” he whispered, voice soft like it was a secret.

“What?” Alex whispered right back.

Michael didn’t give a verbal response, simply pressed in closer and pulled the blanket up to Alex’s chin which meant it was basically over his head. It had Alex wondering if he got cold without all the extra fur. Regardless, he still didn’t touch him.

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it.

A week went by and it turns out living with a half-man, half-wolf wasn’t that bad.

Michael was actually quiet for the most part and he adjusted to human-living quite well. He picked up on how to make coffee very fast. He took showers regularly and wore clothes and helped in the garden. He was an effective hunting partner and wasn’t grossed out by the process of skinning the deer. He was still working on the boundaries part, but, hey, he was trying and Alex appreciated it. It had to be confusing to rationalize that it was okay to touch while they were in bed, but not when they weren’t unless he was a wolf.

It was all easy until they had to go into town to get him clothes and to refill gas cans.

“I don’t like stores.”

“Neither do I.”

“I hate them.”

“So do I.”

“Then why did we go?”

Alex sighed and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He hated going into public, he always had, and after moving into the woods, he hated it more. He hated talking to people and he hated the way the town looked at him and he hated having to perform social niceties that, to him, didn’t feel very nice. However, he hadn’t quite acknowledged that Michael had been even more isolated from it all.

They’d been in the thrift store for a total of about thirty minutes and just barely made it to that point. People were staring and whispering and avoiding them like the plague, judging them openly. Alex was used to that. Michael, on the other hand, was not and he nearly had a breakdown in the middle of the store after four people deliberately speed-walked away from him and one lady loudly asked her friend why they thought it was okay to come during peak business hours. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around people not liking him on principal and it made him uncomfortable and, well, a wolf never really had to learn to contain emotions. So Alex sent him to the truck while he paid.

When he got to the truck, Michael was curled in a ball with his hands clasped over the back of his head.

“Look, I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you,” Alex said softly. He knew that the people who chose to be around him suffered consequences with the exception of his brothers and his father. And even then the only reason they didn’t was because they ran the fucking town. Alex was an outlier and everyone suspected he was one of them and that his father had sent him to the woods for that reason. The worst part was that Michael actually was.

“Can we go home now?” he asked, voice small as he stayed in the ball. Guilt filled Alex’s system and, for the first time since he was human, he reached out and initiated touch. He stroked his hair and then squeezed his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“One more stop, but you can stay in the car for that, is that okay?”

Michael nodded.

Alex drove to the gas station while keeping one hand on Michael, hoping that that would be stabilizing enough. He left Michael in the car with a soft ‘I’ll be right back’ and went to go pay for his gas. He grabbed a coffee and sour candy while he was inside, deciding to give Michael some sort of prize for surviving a day amongst the humans of Roswell along with something to ground him, before heading to the counter.

“$50 on pump 7?” the cashier said without even looking up at him. Alex appreciated her lack of conversation mixed with the lack of judgement. She had the same distaste towards him as she did everyone else and she always had. Which is why this was the only gas station he went to.

“Yeah,” Alex answered, fishing out his wallet. There was something slightly annoying that all of his money still technically came from his father and brothers. Sure, they were buying meat off him for not only themselves, but for the big dinners on the night of the hunt, so it wasn’t like it was a handout. But still.

“Alex?” a familiar voice asked. Alex looked up to see his brother, Greg, walking inside. “Hey, I was just on my way out to your place.”

Alex gave a small shrug as he turned to him, coffee and candy in hand. He would never admit that he was a little scared that, if Greg saw Michael, he would know. They’d all been taught from a young age to question anyone who wasn’t from around there and, even if they were, to keep watch of all their differences. Greg was a little different and had been dating a girl who wasn’t from around there, but it still made him wary to let him follow him back to the truck.

“Need meat? Or just need a little brotherly companionship?” Alex asked. Greg huffed a laugh and rolled his eyes.

“Meat,” he said, “I told you, I’d keep dad from comin’ around there. I keep my word.”

“Right,” Alex sighed. He was thankful that he didn’t have to see his father, but, fuck, he didn’t want him meeting Michael. Not one bit. Especially not when Michael was having a bad time. He would like all of his brothers to not see him be nice to anyone.

“Isobel’s with me,” Greg told him and then eyed him for a moment before looking towards the cashier and then looking back, “And I also noticed there’s a guy in your truck.” So much for keeping that to himself.

“Yeah,” Alex said simply, shrugging his shoulder. He could play it off.

“Moved on from Forrest already?”

“You’re the one who told me to leave him be,” Alex pointed out though he didn’t say that he’d sort of forgotten about Forrest over the last week. He’d sort of been distracted.

“Yeah, I did,” Greg said, nodding slowly. This was certifiably one of the weirdest conversations they’d ever had. That was saying something. “You usually don’t listen.”

“What can I say? We both have a thing for strangers, don’t we?” Alex said. Greg huffed a small laugh.

“I’ll see you at your cabin in a bit,” he said, clasping a hand on his shoulder as he walked past him.

Alex went to his truck, opening the driver’s seat and prodding Michael in his thigh with his middle finger. He peeked up at him through his curls and over his knees, eyes wide and cautious and obscenely gorgeous. Alex held out the coffee and the candy.

“Eat that, it’ll help you feel better,” Alex instructed. Michael nodded and grabbed the items with slightly shaky hands.

As frustrating as it was to see Michael so distraught over a few rude people, there was also something fascinatingly pure about it. Hell, there was something fascinatingly pure about nearly everything this non-quite-man did. It had Alex’s mind filling with new questions each day. Was he born this way or had he been changed? Was he raised as a wolf? Was he given the option? Had he been in these woods with Alex their entire lives and somehow never crossed paths?

Alex filled the gas cans in the back of his truck as quickly as possible, climbing back in once he was done and heading home. He was exhausted already and it was hardly noon. He rightfully blamed Michael.

“You good now?” he asked after they’d been shrouded by the trees on the path to the cabin for a good fifteen minutes. Michael had lifted his head entirely, sucking on the sour candy that made him make disgusted faces, but he kept on because Alex had told him to. He’d follow it up by taking sips of the coffee that caused an even more distressed face from the clashing tastes, but he persisted nonetheless. “‘Cause my brother is coming over and I need you to feel like a real person.”

“I am real,” Michael answered.

“Yeah, you can’t talk like that.”

“I…” Michael started, but he stopped himself and shifted, “Alright.”

When they pulled up to the cabin, Michael grabbed the bag of clothes they’d gotten, his trash, and went to help with the gas cans. Alex rationalized that that was a big reason why he didn’t mind having Michael around. He pulled his weight.

“Do you feel better?” Alex asked as they got settled in the outside area, filling a bag with frozen deer meat for Greg.

“Yes,” Michael said, but his eyes were still a little distanced. It only took a few seconds before he added, “But do you mind if I shift?”

Alex blinked in surprise, but he quickly shoved that away. “Yeah, of course, do whatever you need.”

Michael nodded and started heading inside to go do just that. Alex almost stopped him to wait until after Greg got here and left, but he figured he could say he dropped him off before coming home. Alex did have a lot of questions, more pooling in his mind that he supposed he could wait until he wanted to shift back. Maybe them healing faster in wolf form applied to emotional wounds as well.

A few minutes later, someone‒Greg‒knocked on the door. Alex brought the bag of deer meat into the house with him as he went to go open the door. Michael was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, you really want me to leave as soon as I got here, don’t you?” Greg asked as Alex immediately handed the bag to him. He shrugged a dismissive shoulder. “You remember Isobel, right?”

Alex looked over towards the tall blonde that stood behind him. Her makeup was faint and her hair was down and her clothes were plain. It almost made Alex feel bad. When Greg had first met her, he’d excitedly showed Alex pictures of her since he was the only one he could go to about a girl who was from out of town. She looked lively and always dressed to the nines in every picture, regardless of how mundane the situation. That town had successfully forced her to conform.

“Yeah,” Alex said, “I picked her up from work that day.”

“Yeah, I know, but you’re, well, Alex,” Greg said. He didn’t need to elaborate for Alex to get what he meant by that.

They barely had a second of silence pass between them before Isobel’s face suddenly lit up, looking much more like those pictures. Alex looked behind him at that and saw that Michael, fully wolfed-up, had made himself known. Alex stepped to the side and she took that as her invitation to go pet him.

Except it seemed a little more than that. Isobel dropped to her knees and Michael immediately jumped all over her, licking her face as she hugged him and pet him. Alex couldn’t help but feel extremely confused by that.

Clearly, so was Greg because he felt the need to say, “She really likes dogs.”

“I see that,” Alex noted. The two of them sat there on the ground even as Michael calmed down, just hugging each other. For a moment, Alex recalled Michael saying his sister much preferred living as a human. Was it possible that she… No. No, that’d be crazy.

“When, uh, when did you get a dog?” Greg asked, a little too much emphasis on the word ‘dog’. Alex licked his lips as he watched the two of them. Isobel seemed to be whispered into Michael’s fur, slowly but surely convincing him that maybe she was that sister he spoke about.

“He was hurt, took ‘em in,” Alex explained. Greg just nodded in a kind of stilted way. Alex looked between Isobel and Greg a few times, slowly but surely milling things over in his mind. Did Greg know? Was he also just harbouring one of them?

Oh, what would Daddy Manes say if he knew what his boys were up to?

“Iz,” Greg said after a moment, clearing his throat, “We gotta get back for dinner with my dad.”

Isobel looked over at him with sort of a neutral expression before she nodded. She kissed Michael’s fur and scratched behind his ear and he gave a little whine when she pulled away. Alex stared at her pretty intently as she stood back up and looked at him. She gave him a small smile.

“He’s a very nice dog,” Isobel said. Alex nodded.

“Yeah,” he agreed. They stared at each other for a while, longer than what Alex was taught was socially acceptable. Neither of them cared.

Greg cleared his throat.

“We’ll see you later, Alex,” Greg said, giving him a goodbye nod. Isobel reached for his hand and he took it, leading the way as they headed to his truck. Alex closed the door behind them and turned to the wolf that seemed to continue to take over his life.

“Was that your sister?” Alex asked him. Michael just stared up at him, his animalistic features making it difficult to receive confirmation. “Okay. Lunch?”

Michael stayed close, disregarding the boundaries they’d established when he was in human form. Honestly, Alex didn’t really mind. It was strange, but he was infinitely more comfortable with the wolf version of him snuggling up to his side, laying at his feet, rubbing up against him for pets than he was with the human man that breathed too heavy and still put his clothes on backwards.

After lunch, with not much to do, Alex laid on the couch and grabbed a book. Michael, in all his fluffy glory, sprawled across him. He got through maybe a chapter before the not-quite-wolf captured his attention. It was easy to just wrap his arms around him and hide his face in his fur. It was easy to focus on his steady breathing and the way he cuddled close despite his lack of human grip. Which, honestly, was what made it easy. People left and judged and spoke. Animals… There seemed to be an unspoken dedication that Alex could appreciate.

He could remember the last time he took a nap in the middle of the day before that.

Forrest: heard you got a new man. Feel like I shouldn't be surprised.

Alex rolled his eyes, throwing his phone back on the bed and grabbed his brush. Michael watched him with those intense eyes like always and still said nothing. Alex got to work braiding his hair.

It had taken a few days, but eventually Michael was ready to be human again. Alex woke up that morning with him snoring and naked, body cold from the lack of fur and basically burying himself into Alex to chase heat. It was clingy and annoying and so fucking hot that Alex wanted to kick him out. But he didn’t.

“More buzzing,” Michael noted as Forrest texted him again.

“Ignore it.”

“Okay.”

Alex pulled the braid over his shoulder to finish it, noticing it had reached his nipples now. A childish thought of how he could finally be a mermaid passed through his brain and he couldn’t help but smile. It was weird to think of how many years he’d wanted to be anything but himself and now he happened to befriend someone who had that choice.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Alex asked as he thought about it, turning to Michael who was eager to give an answer, “Were you always like this? Like, able to shift? Or is, like, the legend a thing and you can be turned?”

Michael paused for a moment, thinking relatively hard as he tried to find the right words. Alex let him as he tied off the end of the braid. He sat back on the bed and Michael, the king of needing physical touch, made sure their thighs were touching. Alex didn’t mind.

“Both is true. I was born like this. My parents were both this,” Michael said, “But they died. Or left. Or something. I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean you’re not sure?”

Michael shrugged. “I don’t remember. They were gone when I was a baby. I was by myself a lot.”

Alex felt an uncharacteristic pang of empathy and he reached out, rubbing his arm slightly.

“I’m sorry to hear that. That must’ve been scary.”

“A little. I got good at hiding during hunts and stuff and a few people fed me when they didn’t realize I was a wolf because I was small. But one of the elders, Aliya, she found me and took care of me. She taught me to go human during hunts for safety. She died too,” Michael said. He seemed very flippant about that word, like so many people he’d loved died. And most of them were probably at the hand of Alex’s family. Wasn’t that just horrifying?

“What about your sister‒that’s Isobel, right?” Alex clarified. Michael stared at him for a minute, almost like he was scared to confirm it. Alex just squeezed his bicep in comfort. (It was obscenely muscular and almost ruined the mood, but Alex was adult enough to cover that up.)

“She… Don’t tell her I said so,” Michael said quickly. Alex nodded. “Yes. But she isn’t my real sister, we just…”

“Take care of each other?” Alex filled in. Michael nodded in agreement. It had Alex wondering a little bit what had stopped her from going to get him on the night of the hunt. Maybe it had to do with Greg, but even that felt weird. The whole thing was weird. “I get that.”

“Humans can become like us, though,” Michael said, changing the subject. Alex didn’t mind. Whatever was going on with her really wasn’t his business. “We can bite right here.” Michael reached up and pressed his fingers to Alex’s neck.

“Just right there?”

“Yes, I think,” he said, nodding, “But it’s scary. You can die if it’s wrong.”

“Have you ever done it?” Alex asked, his hand moving from his arm to tuck a few loose curls behind his ear. Michael kept that intense look.

“No, never,” he insisted, “I don’t think it’s good.”

“Not even if I asked?” Alex said. Michael’s eyes seemed to widen just a little bit more, trying to register his words as Alex continued to fiddle with the ends of his hair. He wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. “Kidding.”

Michael swallowed harshly and stared, leaning a bit closer. Alex wasn’t sure if he should move or not. But Michael didn’t cross any boundaries‒or, not really‒and instead did that thing he did when he wasn’t human. He nudged his nose into Alex’s cheek and then buried his face in the crook of his neck.

Alex leaned back against the pillows and moved his hand to the back of his head, letting him lay there for a moment. Michael had gotten dressed more for a desire to be warm than a desire to be clothed, so Alex wasn’t surprised when he moved his hand up and put it over Alex’s collarbone. His fingers slipped beneath his shirt. Alex still had no desire to push him away.

“Did you ever think about being human and moving into the town?” Alex asked, gently scratching his nails against his scalp.

“When Izzy did. I didn’t wanna be alone,” he whispered.

“What stopped you?”

“I found Max,” Michael said. That was the first time he ever mentioned someone named Max. Alex didn’t know what to say to that, so he just kept scratching his head and waited. “He’s my brother.”

“Where’s he?”

“I got hurt,” Michael told him, voice softer than before. Alex wrapped his other arm around him. “I’m not sure where he is. We got split up and you found me, so he’s probably out there.”

“Do you miss him?” Michael nodded. It was the first time that Alex considered that Michael might actually leave for real. Why was that so much scarier than him staying? “Do you want to go back into the woods?”

“I want to find him,” Michael said instead, “So he knows I’m okay.”

Alex dragged his thumb over Michael’s jaw, staring up at where the wall met the ceiling. His great grandfather on his mother’s side had built this little cabin back in the late 40s when the Manes had changed the status quo from killing wolves for protection to killing wolves for glory, moving out into the woods to make a statement that it wasn’t dangerous. His great grandma and his grandma had lived in the town for awhile after that, though, and his grandma only moved out here after she’d had two kids and her husband died.

Alex’s mother had been raised in this tiny cabin with her brother and her mother, fully living off the land like it should’ve been. To this day, he still never understood how exactly his mother met his father and why she liked him enough to have four children with him. It felt like a disconnect. Why would she choose that over this?

But it didn’t matter. This cabin, small and quaint as it was, was a statement of rebellion and family and change. Who would Alex be if he tried to make Michael stay? Even if he wanted him to?

“You can go, if you want.”

Michael sucked in a deep breath and nuzzled in a little closer.

“And I could come back?”

“Always.”

They fell silent like they usually did, soft touches still being given. They didn’t really need to discuss the logistics. He would probably leave and he would probably come back. Alex had been alone for a long time before‒he liked being alone‒it wasn’t some dramatic thing. This was just a wolf person he’d housed for the last three weeks. It wouldn’t be a drastic change.

It was only when Michael tilted his head and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck that Alex realized he was beyond fucked.

“Stop talking.”

“Then you talk. C’mon, tell me how good I‒”

Alex coved Forrest’s mouth with his hand, chasing his release with each thrust of his hips and trying to get the man under him to stop fucking ruining it.

It was perhaps Alex’s own fault, though. Michael had left to go find his brother four days prior and Alex, for the first time ever, felt lonely. It was weird sleeping alone and it was weird gardening alone and it was weird eating alone. He missed the annoying heavy breathing and the too much touching. Staring at the unused pile of clothes felt like they were taunting him. So he called Forrest up. It was dumb of Alex to think it was a valid replacement.

The man was still a little burned by Alex “moving on” and felt the need to show that by attempting to be bossy. It had Alex wondering how he even dealt with him in the first place. He liked the silence that came with living with a literal wolf much more than the ramblings of a man who claimed to be an animal in bed.

“Fuck,” Alex grunted as he finished, catching his breath for a second before pulling out and rolling onto the other side of the couch. Forrest seemed to be silenced by his own climax which, honestly, was a blessing.

A blessing that didn’t last nearly long enough.

“So, why’d you call? New guy not doing it for you?” Forrest asked. Alex rolled his eyes and groaned, wanting for him to just shut the fuck up for a few minutes. Forrest kicked his leg to get him to answer.

“Why do you care? I made it clear we aren’t a thing,” Alex said.

“Yeah, but I at least deserve to know who else you’re fucking for my own safety. Like, when’s the last time you’ve been tested?”

“I’m not fucking anyone else,” Alex huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “And I got tested, like, last month. Which, again, haven’t fucked anyone else.”

“Well, then who’s that guy everyone saw you with? You know shit spreads fast in that town when it involves a Manes,” Forrest told him. Alex closed his eyes. “You’re known whether you want to be or not.”

“Oh my God, will you fuck off?” Alex asked, pushing himself to his feet, “It’s none of your business, nor is it anyone else’s. I’m out here for a reason.”

“Which I still don’t get. You’re a Manes, your family runs this town. Why aren’t you basking in that?” Forrest asked. Alex walked to the kitchen and grabbed a towel, wiping himself down and trying not to be irritated.

“Why would I want to? I fucking hate it,” Alex said, “The only reason I hooked up with you in the first place was because I thought you got that.”

“And I do, on some level. I don’t wanna be associated with my family either. But the difference is my family is a bunch of annoying bigots, your family runs a town.”

“A town full of idiotic, cold-hearted people who thrive off the glory of murdering innocent animals for generations,” Alex scoffed, “And you think I want that tacked onto my name?”

“No one fucks with you because of your name, Alex.”

“No, no one fucks with me because they think I’m some fucking creature of the night.”

“And you do nothing to dispute that, by the way.”

“Because I don’t give a shit! Let them think what they want.”

“Sometimes I think your dad was right,” Forrest said, his words making Alex freeze in place. He looked up slowly, seeing Forrest just standing there completely naked and with none of the charm that Michael’s nudity had. The power those words held, the ‘your dad was right’, hit Alex square in the chest. He hated it.

“What did you just say to me?” Alex asked. Forrest shifted under his gaze, his angry stance swaying just a little bit with the fear that came with being stared down by a man with the last name Manes. Alex felt he was the least scary of them all, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he was capable of.

“After I first met you, your dad cornered me and told me to tell him if there was anything sketchy about you and he’d make sure I was safe in town. And there is something sketchy about you. This, this whole isolation thing and your weird indiviuality complex is fucking weird. You do know humans are social creatures, right? We’re supposed to feel more comfort being close, not being separated. Sometimes I think maybe you really are what the rumors say,” Forrest said.

“So you were hooking up with me because my father told you to?” Alex clarified slowly, his body filling with anger and something akin to betrayal. It wasn’t like he’d ever really put anything into a relationship with Forrest, but, fuck, he did think they were at least friends on some level.

“No,” Forrest said quickly, shaking his head, “No, that was my choice. He just… took advantage of that. But still.”

“No, what the fuck have you told my dad?” Alex scoffed.

“I told him you self isolate and that’s probably a mental issue,” Forrest said, having the audacity to sound like he cared, “That isn’t normal, Alex.”

“Fuck you,” he said, shaking his head, “Seriously, fuck you. Why would I want to be normal? Why can’t I just do what I want? Why the fuck do you buy into bullshit standards that are set for us? You even said it yourself, everyone in that fucking town conforms to the same bullshit ideology. Why are you buying it?”

“I like you, Alex,” Forrest said softly, “But I’m worried about you. So’s your dad.”

“Oh my God,” Alex breathed, a small hysterical bout of laughter raking through his system. He felt so stupid. So stupid for thinking that someone else, someone human, would get it. “Get out.”

“Alex‒”

“No, get out. You don’t know shit about my dad if you think he’s worried about me. Get the fuck out of my house.”

It took a few minutes too long, but eventually Forrest was gone and Alex was left with more regrets than ever. How the hell did he let someone into his space? He’d known for his entire life that humans were shitty and thrived off their stupid hive-mind. Why did he think Forrest was any different? Was it the blue hair? The fact that he was intrigued by Alex’s way of life until he realized how in depth it was? Why?

He missed Michael.

Gregory Manes showed up unannounced early one morning, no coffee in hand.

“I’ve come to expect coffee from you and now I’m disappointed,” Alex said flatly.

“I know that you know,” Greg responded instead, voice a little on edge. It was how Alex noticed the way he was fidgeting. “But the hunt’s tonight and Isobel’s out there and you know the woods better than anyone else. Help me.”

Alex had to blink a few times to fully process what he was asking. He figured that Isobel had probably gone to fetch Michael before the hunt. He wanted to reassure him, to tell him they’d probably be fine, but Michael had been shot last time. And, honestly, he was a little eager to see him again.

“Okay.”

Greg waited for him to get dressed and braid his hair. They filled their water bottles and stuffed a bag with two blankets in case they shifted and needed cover. Then they headed out into the woods to find their respective objects of affection. It was strange that they had this thing in common and both of them seemed very determined not to elaborate. Alex had no idea what Greg knew, Greg had no idea what Alex knew, and they were both aware of how dangerous it could be to share information. So they didn’t.

Alex didn’t really know where the wolves went when they were out and about. He rarely saw them and, when he did, they kept their distance. He never felt the need to bother them before. They shared space, it was free reign. That meant he really had no idea where the hell he was going.

It was the definition of wandering. Neither of them spoke or tried to call out for the wolves they wanted to protect, deciding to keep it to themselves. Truly, it was more for Greg’s safety than Alex’s. If all the wolves were like Michael and Isobel, that meant they knew exactly who the Manes were. Alex didn’t hunt them, but Greg did. Maybe he didn’t shoot, but he was there. It had Alex wondering if Isobel suffered any judging from other wolves for being with him.

They walked for hours, going deeper into the woods than even Alex really hadn’t gone since he was an angry 13 year old who ran out of school and into the woods. His father had assembled a search party after six hours of him being gone only for his grandmother to find him in a clearing, eating berries she’d taught him were safe.

They reached that same clearing around noon after a solid five hours of walking and decided to take a small break.

“Dad’s gonna kill us when he finds out,” Greg sighed as they sat down on a log. Alex shook his head.

“Why are you going to tell him?”

“Didn’t say I was. He’s just… Dad. He knows,” Greg said. He had a point. The worst part about his father was that he was one of the smartest men Alex had ever met. He had a military background and was a born leader who had studied human psychology to only boost that more. He could read body language too well. The idea that Greg even brought Isobel over to his house for dinner felt like bringing her into a trap.

“Why do you let Isobel around him?” Alex asked. Greg huffed a laugh.

“I tried not to. Even, even before I found out about all this. I didn’t want her influenced by him,” Greg said, giving a stupid little laugh, “But she has been, so…”

“Does she spend enough time out here? I think it makes a difference,” Alex said, keeping his words as vague as possible. He knew Michael handled things by shifting. It wasn’t even like he was trying to run away from the problems, it seemed to be more about things making more sense in the mind of a wolf.

“I don’t think so,” Greg admitted softly. Alex nodded. He wasn’t very good with words and he didn’t know how he was supposed to comfort him in that moment. Was he supposed to say it gets better? That it’d be fine? That she wasn’t out here because she was mad at him? Because he didn’t know any of that.

“If you wanna, like… spend more time out at the cabin… It was your grandma’s too,” Alex said as if that was helpful. And it seemed to be because Greg smiled.

Maybe it would’ve been more heartwarming if a low growl didn’t come from behind them.

They both looked over to see a wolf, bigger than Michael, growling at them with his head bowed and eyes narrowed. It was a similar tactic to the one Michael had used in an attempt to run off Forrest, but this time Alex actually did find it intimidating. This wolf seemed out for blood.

The two of them jumped off the log as the wolf took a step closer.

“It’s okay,” Alex said softly, holding out his hands to show that he wasn’t a threat, “It’s okay, we’re not going to hurt you.”

It was stupid of him to think what worked with Michael would work with this wolf. Alex caught the moment the wolf lunged and immediately pushed his brother out of the way. Before the wolf could get to him though, another one tackled it out of the way.

Alex and Greg both fell to the ground as they watched the two fight with wide eyes. It was jarring and confusing and Alex only got more horrified when he realized one of them was Michael. But it wasn’t like they could do anything. They just had to wait.

Eventually, Isobel, barefoot in human form, appeared. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were thrown on like she’d shifted in the woods beside some hidden stash of clothes. She whistled loudly, efficiently breaking the two wolves up.

“Thanks,” Greg told her. She simply walked over and held her hand out to him, helping him to his feet.

Before Alex could get to his, Michael came to him and instantly started to greet him with licks and nuzzles. Alex shamelessly accepted them, scratching behind his ears.

“Hi,” he said softly and Michael damn near purred in response. God, he missed him.

“We need to get out of the woods, they’re going to prepare for the hunt soon,” Isobel said sternly. It was more words than Alex had ever heard her actually speak and he sort of understood why. There was a comforting, yet commanding lilt to her voice. It was impossible not to obey.

“We can go to my cabin,” Alex offered despite the fact that part of him actively hated the idea of packing his house with that many bodies. However, he could suffer one night with it.

Besides, he could close the door and only focus on Michael being back in his bed.

“Let’s go.”

“I’m sorry for almost attacking you. I’ve never seen any Manes that weren’t a threat.”

“It’s alright.”

Alex didn’t say anything. He just let Greg accept the apology from Max and Max could just take the fact he let him in his house as enough of a compromise.

It was dark by the time they all got settled in the cabin and all in human form. Michael and Max had to shift back and Alex witnessed it for the first time. It looked ungodly painful and, according to the looks on their faces, it was. Their bodies were morphing in different ways and contorting unlike anything Alex had ever seen. But then they’d both stretched, bones cracking, and they were fine.

Michael put on his clothes, but Max was a little harder. He was taller and broader than Michael and Alex and it wasn’t like Greg had clothes in his truck. He had to just settle for pants that didn’t quite reach his ankles and a jacket.

“Coffee?” Michael whispered, his breath hot against the back of Alex’s neck. He was hovering and touchy, but Alex honestly didn’t mind. He had a bad taste in his mouth after the night before and he’d sort of missed the way he wanted to be close.

“It’s night time,” Alex pointed out. Michael hummed and pressed a kiss to his neck. Logically, Alex knew that meant nothing. Michael was a fucking wolf, he didn’t know what constituted as romantic and platonic affection. But, still, it was getting difficult to make sense of it.

But, then again, his brother was sleeping with a wolf, so it must be okay.

“Coffee,” Michael repeated. Alex huffed a laugh.

“Fine.”

They made coffee and joined the other three in the room. Max had sat on the floor and Isobel had chosen to sit in Greg’s lap on the couch. Alex took the other end of the couch and Michael placed himself at his feet. The siren signalling the beginning of the hunt rang through the air and it didn’t go unnoticed how all the wolves in the room got stiff with discomfort.

“It’s okay, they know not to come close,” Alex promised, hand mindlessly rubbing Michael’s shoulder as he sipped his coffee.

“Dad’s gonna fucking kill me for skipping,” Greg noted.

“Kill him first,” Max suggested. Alex snorted and nodded in agreement.

“I wish it was that easy. I don’t even know how to fix any of this at this point. How do we change a whole town’s mindset? Like, no matter what, they’ll be scared and they’ll want the hunt to continue,” Greg complained, making it a little too serious. No one really had a response because he was right. People have tried to make statements before, but they all got virtually shunned out of the town.

“Well, it doesn’t help that they’re right,” Alex said. That got the wolves attention, but he wasn’t going to back down. “They’re scared of creatures that aren’t quite human, aren’t quite wolf. And they exist. Maybe it’s not the same way they think, but they do. And because of the hunt, the wolves are defensive. Like, Max wanting to attack us. That’s because of what the humans did first. There’s a lot more to stop before we just say no more hunting.”

“How many wolves are even left out there, do you know?” Greg asked. Isobel didn’t answer which made sense since she was in the woods the least.

“Not many,” Michael said.

“A lot left decades ago,” Max chimed in, “Like, at least eight different packs left decades ago. Most of the ones that were left were just stubborn. But, now, with the way things have been going, most of us that are still out there are alone or run in packs of two. Makes it hard to keep a head count.”

“But there are other places? Like, you won’t go extinct or anything?” Greg clarified. Isobel huffed a laugh and shook her head.

They sat up and talked through all the gunshots, trying to provide a distraction. Alex kept his hands on Michael the whole time and Michael did the same. It made it hard to focus entirely, but he did his best.

Alex, deciding to be nice, offered to let them stay for the night. Greg and Isobel could take the couch and Max seemed content to take the floor. They just all agreed that they would find a better hide out in the morning. Then Alex and Michael went to bed.

Alex changed out of his day clothes into his night ones, deciding that he could force himself and Michael into the shower in the morning. He just wanted to get back into bed with him and maybe steal a more efficient night’s sleep. Maybe. Spending so long touching all casually had him feeling sort of restless. Still, Alex took out his braid and shook his hair out before heading to the bed that Michael had already made himself at home in.

“Can I ask you something?” Alex asked as they stared at each other in the darkness. Michael nodded like he always did. “Why’d you trust me so easily that night of the last hunt? Like Max said he could smell that we were Manes. Why’d you trust me?”

Michael furrowed his eyebrows like he was confused by the question. Alex just waited until he realized he actually wanted an answer.

“I’ve seen you, Alex,” he said simply. It was Alex’s turn to be confused. “I’ve seen you for years. We share space, we always have.”

“So, what, you just trusted me based on watching me?”

“The one who lived here before you fed me when I was small,” Michael explained, “If she trusts you, I trust you.”

Alex let out a heavy breath at that little revelation. He remembered Michael saying that he’d been fed by humans, but he hadn’t quite put it together that it was his grandmother. But, if she had, she had known full well he was a wolf no matter his size. Suddenly, her insistence that they were calm creatures made sense. She fucking fed them. She took care of them.

She took care of him.

“I’m sorry, should I not have said that?” Michael asked.

“I want to kiss you,” Alex said, all those pent up feelings from missing him and wanting him and touching him rushing to the surface. Michael didn’t give him a verbal response.

Instead, he moved forward and placed a soft little kiss on his lips. Alex felt like his whole world shifted into place at that moment. That’s what it was supposed to feel like. Not like getting a fix, but like he was finally fitting somewhere. He’d never felt so welcome and in a good way. There was no hiding. He was wanted because he was him.

Alex exhaled slowly as Michael ended the kiss, still sort of hovering a centimeter away. It really wasn’t enough.

He dove back in to continue the kiss, making it a little deeper and deliberate than the one that preceded it. Michael laughed as Alex rolled him onto his back, placing himself firmly between his thighs and sliding his tongue past his lips. Michael held him close, kissing back just as feverishly and seeming to enjoy the closeness. Alex wondered if this is what he’d been chasing this whole time.

He didn’t want to stop. He never wanted to stop.

And, with Michael so eager, he didn’t see why he would ever have to.

Alex Manes was never one to sleep in, but apparently having sex with a not-quite-man could knock you out for hours.

He woke up to someone knocking on his bedroom door and, as much as he wanted to tell them to go away, he couldn’t. He gently pushed Michael off of him since he’d decided to lay on top of him all night and grabbed his pants off the floor, putting them on before he opened it. It would’ve been all nice and fun if he didn’t open it to his brother looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“Dad’s here,” he said. Alex suddenly felt a lot more awake.

“What?”

“Our father is here,” Greg said, voice hushed as he leaned a bit closer, “And we’re casually harbouring three fucking wolves.”

“Right. Just… right,” Alex said, looking around as he tried to stop feeling so fucking shaken up. He’d spent so many years no giving a shit what his father wanted anymore, but put a hot, naked wolf-man in his bed and suddenly he was fourteen and trying to explain how the first season of Queer as Folk got stashed under his pillow. “Um, let me get dressed. Stall him?”

“Hurry.”

Alex closed the door behind him and Michael lifted his head at the commotion. His curls were an absolute mess and his face was soft, everything about him making it hard to deny when he reached out towards him. Literally all Alex wanted to do was crawl back into bed with him.

Instead, he said, “Get up.”

Michael whined in protest, but Alex was just quickly throwing on clothes and tying his hair back in a bun as he tried to get him to put clothes on. He sat up in slow motion, a pout on his sweet mouth as he tried to listen. Alex grabbed his jaw, kissing him hard and quick in hopes that it would wake him up a bit more. It did, but he seemed to want to use that energy to pull him back into bed.

“No, look, get up, my dad’s here. Put clothes on, okay? Actually, you know what? Stay in here, don’t leave the room, okay?” Alex said. Michael fed off his fear and gave him a concerned look, nodding his head. “Okay.”

Alex pulled on his shoes and left the room, trying to act normal.

His father stood in the doorway of the cabin, face irritated as he spotted Alex over Greg’s shoulder. He was unsure of where Isobel and Max had gone, but he hoped they were somewhere safe. It felt weird to actually care about two people he hardly knew, but he knew Michael cared about them and that was pretty much all that mattered.

“Either of you care to explain to me what’s going on here?” he asked. Greg and Alex didn’t fork over an answer, but nor did they look at each other for one. They knew their father. They weren’t going to show any sign of guilt.

“Just hanging out with my brother,” Greg said.

“And you skipped the hunt for it? Do you know how bad that looks on me? It’s already bad enough that we have Alex hiding out in the woods and then parading around town with strange men all the time. Do neither of you have any ounce of respect for our family name?” he demanded. Alex searched for his confidence as he gave a cocky smile, hoping that it came off as genuine.

“Not really,” he said. Jesse shook his head in disgust.

“For God’s sake, Alex, you’ve really made it your mission to be a disgrace,” Jesse said. No matter how many walls he built up, that still hit him in his chest. He didn’t show it.

“Don’t talk to him like that,” Greg snapped.

“Don’t,” Alex said, shaking his head, “Not worth it.”

Jesse huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “I guess I should blame myself for this. I tried so hard to instill comradery in all four of you. Somehow it split into two groups, equally as hard to manage.”

“What do you need, Dad? I’m going hunting tomorrow, so maybe come back in a few days if you need deer,” Alex said. He shook his head.

“No, I had questions about that new friend of yours,” Jesse said, eying Alex. He tried his best not to react. “Forrest told me you had a dog and then you didn’t.”

“I had a dog for, like, two days. It was just one that was hurt and I patched up. He’s gone now,” Alex said, though he couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed. Then again, he knew his father was manipulative as hell. He was pretty sure Forrest had no idea of what his father might take from that little bit of information.

“And that man you were seen with. Where is he from?” Jesse prodded. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Dad? You do get that the whole werewolf thing isn’t real, right? It’s a myth,” Alex said. Jesse didn’t buy it. Alex didn’t actually expect him to, but it was worth a shot.

“Both of you are playing with fire,” he said, looking between the two of them, “If I find out what I think I know is true… Both of you will suffer the consequences, do you hear me?”

And Alex heard him loud and clear. It was a simple threat. Stop or I’ll make you stop.

“Okay,” Alex said, “Goodbye.”

He slammed the door shut and locked it, both of them still unable to breathe properly until his truck was gone. It was nerve wracking.

“Alex,” Greg whispered, “I think we’ve dug ourselves into a hole we can’t get out of.”

Alex swallowed harshly and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm down. It was clear that the only alternative to stop or I’ll make you stop was to just leave. He either had to get rid of the wolves or get rid of the town.

And wasn’t that fucked. And, yet, it was simple.”

“I know a way out.”

“I feel bad.”

“Don’t.”

“I do.”

Alex held Michael from behind, pressing kisses to the back of his shoulder in an attempt to give him some kind of comfort. After Greg and Alex had talked for a while, they brought up the prospect of leaving the town to the wolves. They’d said it themselves, most of them left. Maybe it was time they did too.

“Maybe we could just go, just me and Izzy and Max. This is your home,” Michael said. Alex sighed and his chest ached at that. He didn’t really want to leave this cabin. It was his and had been passed down for generations. But now that he had confirmation of the beasts he’d been warned about his entire life, it didn’t seem right to stay.

Besides, what was this cabin standing for if not to inspire rebellion?

“I know that sounds like a good idea, but my dad knows we’re hiding something. Even if you leave, we’ve got a target on us,” Alex explained. It was, sadly, the complete truth.

“I’m sorry, Alex,” Michael whispered, that guilt so evident in his voice. Alex shook his head and craned his head over his shoulder to steal a kiss. Michael tried his best to reciprocate, but Alex knew he was hurting and it made it hard. “It’s all my fault.”

“No, it’s my dad’s fault for thinking genocide is a fun bonding activity,” Alex pointed out, “Besides, I promised I‘d keep you safe, right? Let me do that for you.”

Michael sniffled and nodded reluctantly.

After speaking for the entire day after his father left, the plan was to pack everything up over the next two days and then get the fuck out of town. There was a tiny, woodsy tourist town a coupe states over that sounded appealing. They’d stay in a hotel for a few days until they found work and another cabin in the woods, hopefully one a little bigger so Alex could still keep his space. It would all work out. Probably.

It was funny to think that simply a month prior he never would’ve considered uprooting himself for someone else. But he guess he always did say that, when he found that person who was worth it, he’d know.

And he did know.

"Hey, look at me," Alex coerced and he opened his pretty eyes, "This isn't just because of you. This is right and wrong. He's wrong."

"Yeah," Michael breathed, "Okay."

"Let's get up and have breakfast and then we can start packing," Alex told him.

Michael was better once he got up and had Isobel and Max to talk to. He seemed to be reminded that their decision wasn't only about him. They both seemed to understand that, if their siblings hadn't been so directly involved, then maybe they would've decided against leaving. But it wasn't about their own safety, it was about the safety of the ones they loved.

Still, Alex itched for alone time and itched for things to go back to the way they were those three weeks where it was just him and Michael. It was calm and they fit. Now, though, Alex just had to deal with adjusting to socializing until he could find a new place to isolate.

He could do it. He did it for the first 16 years of his life.

Alex cooked for them, admittedly feeling a bit odd at Michael's lack of hovering. They'd only hooked up for the first time two nights ago, but Alex already felt more comfortable with him at his side when he was human. It had Alex wondering just how much of that was the wolf in him that made him addictive.

"I called a buddy of mine from out of town," Greg told him, hair slightly toussled from Isobel's hands more than it was sleep, "He said he could get us a job as farm hands out there for a little while. You think you can handle that?"

Alex nodded despite that being the last thing he wanted to do.

"We're looking for land too, right?" Alex clarified. He could take a little bit of working and living in close quarters, but he knew he'd be right back to being a pissy teenager if it was kept up too long. He needed to be alone.

"Yeah. How much do you have saved up? I was gonna go transfer my bank account so dad can't track us," he explained. Alex shrugged.

"Few thousand. It's all in cash," he answered. Greg nodded as he absorbed that information.

"Okay. I'll see what I can do. It might take a little while to get self-sufficient," Greg said, "Property taxes 'n all."

The more Alex thought about it, the more he felt uncomfortable. He knew leaving was the right thing, he did. But he'd finally gotten to a good place.

"How about this," Alex said, "Once we get a cabin, I stay there and start a garden and hunt. You and Isobel can work since you like being around people." Greg gave him a stupid, older brother look. "Don't. I'll pull my weight and I'll work for awhile, but I can't do that forever or we're all fucked and you know it."

"Yes, but you're used to feeding yourself and maybe Michael. This is stepping up to five people."

"You seem to forget I fed the whole town every hunt. And Max prefers being a wolf, so he can feed himself," Alex pointed out. Greg sighed and nodded.

"I'll try to make it work, okay?"

"Good."

Alex finished up and made all five plates, dispersing them. Michael took that as his opportunity to hover again and Alex loved it. He stood behind him, nuzzling his nose into Alex's jaw and giving his neck kissed in between bites. He felt so shameless and that was a wonderful feeling.

After they are, Greg, Isobel, and Max left to go pack up things from his house and deal with his bank account. It finally left Alex and Michael alone and Alex felt like he could finish fucking breathe again.

"I'm gonna miss this," Alex admitted as they walked into his bedroom, "Being alone with you all the time."

The plan was to pack, but Michael wrapped his arms around him and dragged him towards the bed. He didn't fight him, instead he just laughed and complied. Except it didn't turn into anything sexy. Michael picked up his brush and took it upon himself to brush Alex's hair before braiding it. Apparently all that intense watching wasn't mindless.

He tied the braid off and tugged him back a bit, pressing a kiss to his jaw. Alex turned into it, sealing the kiss easily. How had he gone all his life without those kisses?

“And you’re sure you won’t hate us for making you leave?” Michael clarified mid-kiss. Alex breathed him in.

“No. You’re just finally giving me an excuse to get away from my dad,” he admitted. Michael nodded and pulled him in for another kiss that quickly escalated into more.

Within the next two days, they found themselves all packed up and ready to go start anew. Alex’s heart broke a little knowing that he was leaving his cabin, but he told himself over and over that it was for the best. It was the only way to get away from his dad and all the shitty connotations that came with that town.

He was going to get away. He was going to breathe again.

He was finally free.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #17k of me projecting onto alex manes

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flowerslut · 4 years ago

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DAY FIVE: ANGEL/DEMON Rating: T for language. Words: 3,728

A/N: Again: it’s not cheating if it’s on theme! Here’s chapter two of Edge of It All. (Read chapter one here)

EDGE OF IT ALL

Dinner that night was rough. Jasper, to his benefit, had been raised with enough manners to know not to leave the table until dismissed; he might have been defiant at times but he wasn’t into dramatic displays of brattiness. So when Wilson started to rant about how badly he’d needed Jasper to listen and how thoroughly he’d been let down today, Jasper simply sat there and took it like a man. He’d made his choices, and now he had to deal with the consequences.

And usually, the consequences began and ended at ‘a firm talking to’.

At least now, in a harmless little town like this, the worst thing he could get into was school trouble. He had old foster parents who hadn’t expected him to make it through middle school, and there he was, months away from graduating high school. The fact that they weren’t astonished with his progress was frustrating to him on most days, but then again, they’d received Jasper in their care months after he’d already dug himself out of rock bottom.

They didn’t know how good they had it with him right now, he realized miserably as he picked at the roasted cauliflower on the plate in front of him.

Eventually the topic switched from Jasper’s shortcomings to random anecdotes from Wilson’s and Meg’s workdays. While Wilson worked at the urgent care clinic at the edge of town, Meg was a teacher at the elementary school. It had been a baffling thing at first to Jasper, who knew the woman swore like a sailor and could put away more wine than anyone he’d ever met, but it made sense when she shared stories about her day.

She actually appeared to like children.

It made Jasper wonder how disappointed the couple had been when their first placement had been a delinquent teenager as opposed to a cute little toddler.

There was a lull in conversation then, and Jasper took his chance. “You guys have my medical records right?”

The couple exchanged a look. “Of course we do,” Wilson wiped his mouth with a napkin as he spoke, still chewing a bite of food. “Why do you ask?”

Jasper half-shrugged. “None of my other foster parents let me see them. I wanted to know if I was allowed to.”

He’d turned eighteen a couple of months ago but had been allowed to remain under Meg and Wilson’s care. It was a mutually beneficial agreement, really. Wilson and Meg could still receive compensation for housing him even though he worked part-time and fully supported himself as best as he could already. And Jasper was still allowed to stay with the couple.

His social worker, a nice older guy Jasper had known for a few years now, had recommended the extension.

So far the plan was to get Jasper to graduation, through the summer, and hopefully onto school in the fall. As the months passed though, Jasper knew his chances of scoring any sort of scholarship, or even gaining acceptance into any University in or out of state (with or without taking out loans) slowly dwindled.

“How about this?” Meg proposed, lifting her red wine to her lips before continuing. “What is it? Tuesday? Make it through to Friday without skipping any classes and Wilson will get them for you this weekend.”

Jasper gritted his teeth at the proposal. He had to remind himself that Meg wasn’t withholding the information to be cruel. It was a simple request, really. But that didn’t mean Jasper enjoyed having her dangle this type of information above him in exchange for ‘good behavior’.

He wondered if he could just text Greg—his social worker—and go around his foster parents, but Jasper bit back a sigh as he knew Greg would likely agree with the motivation behind Meg’s proposition.

“Fine,” he agreed quietly, dread already pooling low in his stomach as he thought of tolerating the remainder of the school week without interruption.

That night he had trouble sleeping.

He woke up several times, expecting to see red eyes watching his every move, but instead all he did was sit up, calming himself as he caught his breath and swore outwardly into the silent room.

Truthfully the main reason he wanted his records was to see if he had any diagnoses he didn’t know about. It was fully possible that he actually was crazy and that he was simply never told. The chance that he’d hallucinated the demon girl in the woods was still there as long as he didn’t have those records.

And if they came up clean he wondered if he’d be able to somehow find and see his birth parent’s medical records. He already knew addiction ran in his blood—it’s why he avoided drugs, even one a simple as weed, like the goddamn plague—but if either of his parents had been actually psychotic, it would help Jasper to figure out if his mind was also a ticking time bomb.

The rest of the week at school was long and arduous. He held up his end of the bargain just the way he agreed. He didn’t skip one single class. Principal Shafer even commended him on his attendance by the middle of the day on Thursday, as if it were something Jasper was supposed to be happy or feel proud over.

Instead it just irritated him and he’d nearly picked a fight with one of Colson’s buddies in Spanish class. Thankfully—or perhaps it was a bit of a disappointment, really—he was more fluent than everyone else besides Mrs. Posner, so when he insulted the sandy haired fuckhead in front of the class in Spanish, she had been the only one to gasp and reprimand him.

It was worth it for the frustration that rolled off Parker for the rest of the class, irritated that out of the two people who could tell him what Jasper had said, Mrs. Posner had outright refused, simply giving Jasper an after school detention and resuming the lesson.

Maybe he should worry more about his Spanish grade, but Jasper knew that if he got anything less than an A in this class it wouldn’t be due to lack of knowledge…

After the final bell rang, Jasper sat on the stairs outside, watching as the kids who didn’t drive—usually the underclassmen and the poorer kids—piled onto one of two busses that brought kids home from Forks high. He knew he only had a couple of minutes before the driver got sick of waiting for Jasper to join him and simply left without him, but Jasper was going to push his luck today if it meant he could have a moment of peace without constant chatter going on around him.

He’d left his headphones at home that morning and had been pissed about it all day.

Jasper’s gaze wandered the parking lot then, and when his eyes met a golden pair, he found himself staring back.

It was Rosalie Hale. Standing next to her was her younger sister—or was it cousin?—Bella.

At least Bella had the decency of looking away when Jasper’s eyes fell upon them. She wasn’t as outgoing as Emmett was, but the girl was at least polite. Rosalie on the other hand always baffled Jasper.

Back in Oakland a girl that hot would’ve been running the school. But Rosalie kept to herself, did her work perfectly, and minded her business. Occasionally she’d hurt the pride of some unsuspecting fool who didn’t believe the rumors that Rosalie Hale and Emmett Cullen were actually an item—“it’s disgusting,” Jessica Stanley had explained to him on one of his first days, “they live together. It’s like dating your sibling; so, so weird”—and Jasper had even heard a rumor that once she’d had to physically get her point across to a handsy senior a couple years back.

The story went like this: she’d broken his nose, and a couple ribs, and no one had messed with Rosalie Hale since.

Now, she stared back at him with a glare that very much resembled the one Edward had been shooting him a few days prior.

He resisted the urge to shrug and mouth an irritated ‘what?’ before she opened the door to her red beamer and disappeared inside.

One thing that had frustrated Jasper even more about this week was the eyes he felt on him at all hours of the day. And not just from his classmates who were stunned to see him actually attending class, but from the goddamn Cullens.

The more he caught them staring, the more he found himself wondering what the fuck their deal was. And the more he wondered, the more he thought back to Tuesday afternoon in the woods.

Either he was actually crazy and paranoia was beginning to seep into his subconsciousness and force him into thinking he was being watched, or Edward and Emmett knew something Jasper didn’t.

The odds of them also having seen that demon girl increased more and more every day as they appeared in his peripheral during random intervals throughout the week.

Even on the days when Jasper worked after school the Cullens had, just this week, started shopping in that very mini-mart. After almost two months of the store being open and never having seen them in it before, Jasper was beginning to get suspicious.

Or paranoid, he had to remind himself. There was a very likely reason he was being actually insane about this whole thing.

But that night, when he got home from work—thanking Ben Cheney for the ride home and tossing a couple of bills his way for gas money—he was so exhausted that he didn’t even care that he’d done it. That he’d made it though the school week without skipping. He just wanted to sleep for two days. He was so tired he didn’t even feel as if the trade—his attendance for his records—was even worth it anymore.

He was so tired that he almost didn’t notice the red-eyed demon girl sitting on his bed until he’d already tossed his backpack across the room, his keys onto his desk, and his shoes into the corner.

When he looked up and met her eyes, he startled slightly, shuffling back before freezing under her gaze.

“Don’t scream.” She whispered so quietly he almost didn’t hear her speak. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“How the fuck did you get in here?” He asked, his voice shaking as he blindly pawed at the wall behind him for the light switch. A part of him hoped and prayed that this was his mind playing tricks on him and that once the light flicked on she’d vanish. But when his hands found the switch, turning the light attached to his ceiling fan on and illuminating the room, he felt his stomach jump up into his throat.

She was still there. And her eyes that appeared to be glowing before in the dark were still as bright as ever.

Her hands were folded in her lap as she sat on the edge of his bed. She was so short that her feet didn’t even reach the ground. She was still barefoot, but at least her clothes were dry this time. The same clothes she’d been wearing earlier that week.

“The window,” she provided simply, her bell-like voice soft. “I’m serious when I say I’m not going to hurt you.” There was a pause as Jasper’s fear went haywire and his heart rate skyrocketed. “Oh,” she covered her ears then, squeezing her eyes shut, “please don’t do that. It’s hard enough to be around you as it is.”

“Why the fuck are you in here? How did—”

“Shh,” Jasper didn’t even see as she moved, she just suddenly did. And before he could react she was standing directly in front of him, her tiny hand pressed against his mouth to keep him from speaking. “They’re going to hear you.”

Jasper’s mind went to Meg and Wilson, who were watching a movie downstairs; it was what they did every night before bed. If the same thing happened and they followed the sound of his noises only to find him terrified of an empty room, they might come to a different conclusion than the Cullen boys did. Instead of advising him against tempting bears they might have him put in some sort of psych ward.

And Jasper did not want to go to the looney bin, even if he was crazy.

Slowly, the girl removed her ice-cold hand from Jasper’s mouth and in the blink of an eye she was back on his bed. The bed creaked and groaned, the mattress bouncing the girl slightly from where she’d too-quickly-for-his-eyes-to-catch launched herself back onto it.

“This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

“You’re real,” Jasper couldn’t shake the feeling of her firm, cold hand against his face, and now, even though he was still frozen, he could feel his fear slowly ebbing. “You’re actually a real person.”

The demon girl made an exasperated noise. “Of course I am! What did you think I was? Imaginary!” She almost sounded amused by the idea. Then, she paused, her eyes staring at some point behind him for a few seconds. Long enough for Jasper to notice and for his fear to begin to resurface once more. “We should probably be a little quieter,” she commented again, her voice just barely above a whisper.

Not wanting to take his eyes off the girl, Jasper reached behind him and flicked another switch, turning the ceiling fan on and providing them with some small amount of white-noise. Not enough to cover up too much, but his foster parents certainly wouldn’t hear a soft-spoken conversation over it.

Alice’s eyes lost focus and then quickly refocused as she turned to smile up at him. “Thank you.”

Jasper was stunned at her smile, suddenly feeling very conflicted over the fact that this terrifying weird red-eyed girl was so strangely gorgeous. “Who are you?”

Alice’s smile fell immediately. “Oh.” Then, her eyes fell to her hands, still clasped primly in her lap. “So you don’t know…”

“Of course not!” He blurted out before remembering he needed to be quiet, and lowering his voice, “We’ve never met before.” He took one uneasy step further into his bedroom. “I mean, besides the other day.”

“I just,” she sighed. “I thought you might know. But I suppose it wouldn’t make any sense now, would it?”

“You know my name,” he accused, taking another step into the room. For some reason he felt far more confident when she wasn’t looking at him with those red, haunting eyes. She was a tiny thing, after all. Likely barely five feet tall, and she looked like she barely weighed 100 pounds, if even that. “Who are you?”

“I’m Alice,” she spoke her name quietly. “I’ve been looking for you for a little while now.”

Jasper swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. “How long is a while?”

“About four moons now.”

That caused Jasper to stop. “What?”

Alice looked up at him again, confusion etched carefully onto her doll-like features. “Sorry. I’m learning people track time differently, but I’m not sure how.” Then, she gestured upward, toward the sky. “You know, the moon?”

There was a brief pause before he forced himself to reply. “I know what the moon is.”

“It’s been big four times now.”

Jasper felt his brain skid to a stop before stuttering back into motion, attempting to decipher what on Earth she was talking about. Four full moons? Is that what she was counting? Is that how she kept time? “Big? As in, a full circle?” He gestured vaguely with his hand as he spoke. Alice nodded. “So… four months?”

“A month,” Alice spoke the word delicately, as if testing it on her tongue, and smiled. “Yes. A month. It’s been more than four of them.”

“Since… you started looking for me?”

“Yes!” She whispered excitedly, as if remembering to keep her voice down. “And since I woke up!”

“I…” she’d lost him again. “Woke up?”

She nodded, her happiness beginning to display itself in other, more physical ways. She was now kicking her feet out slightly, letting the backs of her heels knock against the base of his bed. It was a soundless movement, but still, it unnerved him somehow. The kicks were too even, too perfect…

“Yes! And then I saw you and knew I had to find you as soon as I could. Of course, I should’ve reached out to Dr. Cullen first. He’ll be quite upset with me when he learns what I’ve done.”

“Dr. Cullen?” That was certainly a development. “You mean, Carlisle Cullen?”

Alice nodded rapidly. “Oh, I’m so excited to meet him! I’m hoping he’ll let me stay if I promise to be good.”

“Alice, nothing that you’re saying is making any sense.” If this was a hallucination than Jasper knew nothing he could do would help him at this point. Instead, he walked over to his desk and pulled out his chair, sitting himself down in it roughly before letting his face fall into his hands. “I have no idea what’s going on,” he muttered into his palms as he shook his head. “So you know the Cullens?”

“Yes! I’m afraid they don’t know me yet,” she seemed regrettable to inform him of that detail, but quickly she spoke up, “but they’re going to love me. They’ll be our new family and—” she cut herself off then. “It’s probably too soon to tell you that.”

“It isn’t fucking stopping you from doing it now, is it?” Lifting his head back up he leaned back into the chair and swiveled it toward her. “Are you deranged?”

“Deranged?”

“Crazy, insane, unstable, disturbed…” he listed the words off irritably, folding his arms over his chest as he stared back at her. “Are you a maniac?”

“I don’t know,” she seemed stressed at the admission, and it forced a strange guilt to catch his next words in his throat. But he wasn’t being irrational, he had to remind himself. She was the one that had broken into his room.

“What do you know then?”

“That I’m supposed to find you.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure if telling you right now is a good idea,” she whispered the words so quietly Jasper almost didn’t hear. “I don’t want you to reject me.”

Once more stunned into silence by her strange insecurity, Jasper stared at her. He wasn’t scared anymore. Instead, confusion overpowered all other reason. He just wanted to know who and what she was, and why the fuck she’d sought him out.

Alice pouted as her eyes lost focus once more. “Oh,” she gasped as her head turned toward the window, “Oh, I am in so much trouble.” Instantly, she was on her feet.

“What are you?” She looked human, but she moved so fast sometimes he couldn’t even keep up with his eyes.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” Her words were spoken in a rush, and quickly she was standing in front of him again. She was so slight that even though he was sitting and she was standing she was just barely taller than he was. Before he knew it his hands were in hers. “Please, please believe me when I say I’m not going to hurt you, okay? And that I’m only here because I know it’s supposed to be this way. And—” she paused, hesitating—“if they want to know anything, just tell them the truth, alright? Edward will see it anyways.”

“What are you talking about? Who—Alice—”

But before he could ask another question she was gone in another blink of an eye.

It was a handful of seconds later when his gaze shot up—something had flashed across the window, startling him into his feet. Finally able to react properly, he reached in his back pocket and grabbed his pocket knife, flicking it open as he steadily approached the window. He had a very firm suspicion that it wasn’t Alice.

Something was out there, and Jasper wasn’t about to take anymore of this fucking insanity sitting down.

With his hand outstretched, knife pointing toward the window, he shuffled his feet forward. His window faced out toward the backyard, a series of trees decorating the edge of it, separating his foster parents’ yard from their neighbors’.

Jasper stood at the edge of his bedroom, almost not daring to get too close to the window as he struggled to see what was out there. Eyes catching on one of the trees Jasper watched as the tree shook and a few birds flew out of it.

He almost didn’t see the person standing by the edge of the neighbor’s house. It was too dark to make out who—or what—it was, but there was no way that it was Mrs. Connelly; the woman who lived in the house directly behind theirs.

Jasper continued to stare down at it, and when he saw another black shadow step around the first, larger silhouette, he nearly jumped.

“What the fuck is going on,” he felt himself say out loud, and in seconds, both forms disappeared from the yard, gone without a trace.

If he were more of a fool he would go after them. Sneak back down the stairs and into the backyard and demand whatever leftover demons there were in hiding to come out and explain to him what the fuck was happening, but Jasper had no idea what he was getting himself into anyways.

Even now, Alice’s words unsettled him. “If they want to know anything just tell them the truth.”

Tell who the truth?

As he closed his curtains and quickly changed out of his work clothes, Jasper found himself keeping the knife close, even placing it next to his pillow beside him after he eventually forced himself to climb into his bed.

There was still a chance that he actually was crazy. Just, next-level crazy, in which not only were his hallucinations visual and auditory, but physical somehow, as well.

He hoped Wilson would get those medical records this weekend as promised, because Jasper had a hell of a lot of questions, and so far, no answers.

#jaliceweek20 #the twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #jalice #edge of it all #the next chapters won't be posted until all of these fics #the jalice week ones I mean #make their way onto AO3 #which I'll do next week maybe?? probably

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