#the vast majority of my art is ugly as hell
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depressed without cause? try drawing your oc in the arcane artstyle and you will have several causes
#the vast majority of my art is ugly as hell#be thankful i produce such vast qyantities otherwise you’d get a decent piece every 30 buisness years#give it take#i love arxane but i can not do my obsession justice so i just want to kms#digital art#arcane#digital painting#arcane season 2
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Controversial take but i watched all of jjk, in subbed, so it had my full attention 100% of the time, and i am of the opinion that it just fucking sucks.
So me and my wife were talking about it, and we were trying to figure out why people like it and we've come up short. I do not understand what's so appealing about this show for so many people. Can someone PLEASE tell me.
#yes the animation is phenominal and honestly i would have stopped watching after the first episode without it#MAPPA creates some beautiful art like just gorgeous#but the constant force-feeding of every minor character's backstory was hellish for me#had me rolling my eyes every time they did it (every three seconds)#the vast majority of characters are unlikable or bland or dead#often all of the above#choso is the only character i actively liked?? like i understand him i reallu do#i liked mahito? he's a freak so that's a given#i liked that one old guy with the weird still frames power#uhhh i like sukuna's weird obsession with ripoff sasuke#edit i member: i liked megumi he deserved better#oh i also REALLY liked nanamin or whatever his name was (it's been a while)#i think yuuji's suicide mission that he didn't think through is super interesting#alright heres my most controversial take of all#i don't care at ALL abt gojo. he's so mid there's like a million characters exactly like him#and he's UGLY why do people say he's attractive bro is UGLY A HELL#the intros are baller tho i sat through them every episode no skipping that shit#gorgeous animation as i'd expect from this studio#like! there's so many little drops of things that i liked about this show! which is why it pissed me off so much every time they did boring#ass exposition dumps on characters that are gonna die in five seconds. or worse-they are gonna live and continue to bore me to tears#and when i tell you i physically couldn't read the manga because of how fucking BORING it is#i got caught up and was like 'okay ill read the manga i kinda like what's currently happening n ive made it this far might as well keep goi#g' nah man i couldn't even read a whole chapter. jjk is king of exposition dumps#i do think the powers and how if you tell your opponent what it is it gets stronger is rad#and it drives me insane because i know they know how to drip-feed information about a character! and when they do that they do it SO WELL!!#but they just force feed you all this information the rest of the time like BRO ITS TOO MUCH SLOW DOWN AND JUST LET THE CHARACTERS DO THEIR#THING AND IT WILL BE MORE SATISFYING#anyways not tagging this because i don't wanna put hate in the main tags#just like. if you see this please explain to me what im missing PLEASE i want to like this show SO bad
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What's your opinion of Juste from Nocturne?
For me, I abhorrently hated the way Juste was treated in Nocturne. As I've played Harmony of Dissonance, I had a soft spot for him as a character and it was no joke when he was known as the "most powerful magician of the Belmont clan" when playing as him.
Juste could've been a mentor to Richter as a promising vampire hunter, a close familial connection to depend on after the loss of his mother, his teacher to the art of magic, anything that could've made his character and/or inclusion much more meaningful and significant. As an aspiring writer, the amount of absurd creative decisions the showrunners are making on the fly just physically hurts me.
In my rewrite of Nocturne, I've decided to do just that for Juste, making him an important figure in Richter's life while also being a major player in this new storyline. The reason for why he was absent most of the time is due to his vast responsibilities as a veteran hunter battling vampires across Europe, not because he's a deadbeat or something.
Juste is my second favorite Belmont. I love his energy and attitude, how determined he is to help his friends, how he values them and their bond (you save Maxim by wearing friendship bracelets! that's just adorable lol), of course his weird passion for furniture because my man is going to redecorate a room in a castle that will collapse in a few hours out of principle dammit, but also how he has a tendency to deny issues because he is too busy fitting himself in the mold of "hero", shown in the best ending where he forbids Maxim from revealing the truth to Lydie. The worst ending is also gutwrenching, as he has technically accomplished his duty as a vampire hunter, but utterly failed as a friend - and now, the rest of his life is uncertain. His theme is called "Successor of Fate" for a reason: the legacy is starting to crack, ever so slowly.
I fucking hated how the show treated this interesting concept.
First of all, screw you for saying that Maxim died to a random ass vampire. Sit down and play Maxim Mode. My ninja boy is OP as all hell.
More importantly, what do you mean, that losing his wife and best friend would lead him to become a deadbeat dad and grandpa? What do you mean he'd abandon them rather than double down on protecting them like the Juste I know would do? What do you mean he's just Trevor 2.0??????
That's the thing! He's Trevor all over again! A cynical asshole who doesn't believe in the heroic cause anymore, ripe to be mocked by those meant to be closest to him - I have nothing against show Richter but man he's such an asshole to his own granddad even though they have lost the same person! Eh, guess he has learned from his bae :V but yeah, this is boring! I have already seen a Belmont who gave up on life due to trauma and getting treated like shit for it! Try something else!
(I also twitched when he said that he's such a powerful magician that he doesn't even need the whip. From any other show, it could have been a clever reference to how insanely strong his magic is in HoD. From this show who hates the Belmonts with a burning passion, it's just another way to devalue their legacy.)
But yeah, after that Juste in S1 is completely useless. You'd think that he'd be the one who'd help Richter regaining his magic, but nooooooo he gets tied down like a chump by two generic vampires and Richter reminesces about the woman who insulted him and mocked him for his lack of magic and that does the trick! Basically Juste exists only as a warning for Richter to not become like that, and it's just... disrespectful. Not Hector's levels of pure malicious spite, but still an insult to the character.
I have no hopes for Juste in S2, now that Alucard is back to be the true protagonist. Also his beard ugly af.
#anti netflixvania#having juste be too busy as a hunter to take care of his family is a much more realistic consequence of their legacy than being a dick
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Loneliness-
(tw: mental health, trauma)
I started using the Internet at a young age to cure the loneliness around me. My parents were absent, I was incessantly bullied from second to sixth grade in elementary school. Being part of the county's first Spanish immersion program meant my bullies continued to be in my class every year.
The only thing they couldn't bully me over was art. They were nice to me when they wanted a power ranger or a Pokemon drawing– so it became a valuable tool for me to use.
I've used fandom and art most of my life to heal my own volatile attachment wounding. In conjunction to that, I developed severe codependency of anyone who gave me any time of day… It wasn't until I found myself again and again that being a ‘doormat’ for other people was/is exhausting. It wasn't until my best friend at the time said they used that to their advantage on purpose, that I started to feel disgusted at all.
Even after realizing this, I was still suffering from unchecked mental pain and trauma that I wasn't specially aware of. I let myself get into situations where this pain clashed severely against others around me. My pain in turn made me an ugly person.
I started to get help. I finally was diagnosed with depression and type 2 diabetes. The overwhelming exhaustion clouding me all hours of the day wasn't just my own apathy, it was an a1c of eleven, the cusp of a diabetic coma. This shook me to my core. With regular doctor visits and psychiatric evaluation, I finally have been able to regulate my blood sugar and non existent serotonin levels. Doing so shook me out of other things I was still doing. Things that still hurt me and those around me.
Not being aware of how bad I was at coping with my own traumas was a reality hard learned. I've lost so many friends from this negligence… But also? Lost more ‘friends’ when the free ride of using me as a doormat was over. That persons will try to punish you for setting boundaries. That it's your fault they can't cope with their own trauma a more healthy way.
That's fucking bullshit.
Everyone is exhausting. Dealing with yourself and your own traumas? Exhausting. But what came down as a more harsh reality, is that empathy for this doesn't exist in most people. That empathy itself, is something most will never achieve. I've always wondered why not very many want to understand why conflict actually exists, what two sides of an argument look like. What acknowledgement of miscommunication actually is. It's really sad. When things like purity policing, smear campaigning and becoming a flying monkey still exist? Nobody has actually grown out of bullying being a normal fucked up thing humans do to each other instead of communicating properly.
So it's come full circle– but I at least know why it's happening now. Strangers will find any excuse to push their own unchecked pain onto someone else, instead of resolving a core issue. There are people in this world who will never realize their pain will never be relieved from the unhealthy dismissal of responsibility for their own health and how they treat others.
Do I use the Internet to cure my loneliness still? Hell no. Does a vast majority still do? Yes. You can still meet genuine people through it, through community and play– but it's still your responsibility to make sure the way you cope with your own traumas doesn't become someone else's problem.
I no longer use my art to cure loneliness either– probably for the first time since I was very young. I'm unsure if I still want to put additional thoughts out in the open after being bullied off a platform– but I've always put them here. So this will probably be the last time I post them in the void.
I treasure everyone who's taken time to cure my loneliness for any brief moment of time, I still hold that close to my heart. I apologize for the pain miscommunication has caused between some of us, even if it's not my apology to give. So many met me while I was suffering and in a lot of pain… Your kindness gave me hope I'd find means to it's end. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to cope with my own traumas then.
I'm in a far better place now. I'm happy to exist along side people who genuinely love me. People who have proven communication can solve everything and not being afraid to be real and vulnerable. I am so very happy to be alive with them.
I have found value in myself, I've worked so very hard to understand my own traumas and shortcomings. Loving people in my life have taught me much better ways to cope. I'm still growing and learning, that will never stop.
Will I still share art online? Maybe. There's not a big desire to, nor will the urge to join communities ever surface again– generation gaps time and time again have proven so dangerous and disappointing. If I share art it's for the sake of sharing what gives me joy, there's no ulterior purpose anymore.
I would hope everyone will come this far and find healthy ways to cope and be happy, I know we all can do it if we believe we can.
#text#an update#I am okay#its good to let go#allowing myself to finally be happy#I hope everyone can find that someday#you deserve it
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❗Transformers Rant Post❗
(note: this is all done in one sitting and is based on personal observations and continuities I know are linked through concept art, canon continuations, etc, so I THINK this is all fairly (if not almost fully) accurate, but if not, don't come at me, tf has been my special interest for my entire life. If it sounds ramble as hell, that's because it is. My bad.)
OKAY SO
Here we go
Hopefully there's a cut because this is long and I get pissy. Enjoy.
So i just learned that in transformers Rise of the beasts, they based Optimus' face under his battle mask off of Peter Cullen (aka THE VOICE OF OPTIMUS PRIME SINCE 1984)
And from what I'm aware, they only publicly released that they made that design choice AFTER trailers released and people were saying Optimus' design was terrible and ugly, which is so disrespectful
And I'm gonna cry about this ajdjdj
While also on this topic, I am sick of being told "bayverse sucks!!!" Or some other equivalent when people talk about the bayverse movies
Because Optimus was voiced IN EVERY ONE OF THOSE FILMS by Peter Cullen, so that's just,,, don't disrespect who MADE YOUR FANDOM WHAT IT IS (give him credit for how well he did everything at least, you don't HAVE to like bayverse, no one is forcing you)
Transformers fans (mostly newer ones/ones who have gotten into the fandom in the past three to four years, I've noticed) are the vast majority of those who are CONSTANTLY bashing designs.
It's been done with bayverse (YEARS after the films released and did FANTASTICALLY), it's happened to Earthspark, and now to ROTB. This is bullshit and so disrespectful. You can criticize a design without being a dick, for one, and two? The animators didn't ask your god damn opinion.
And ALSO the reason they did his model after his face in rotb? Because *Hasbro wouldn't hire Peter Cullen this time around so (I assume) they did it to honour him because he was disrespected and tossed to the side by Hasbro because Hasbro sucks ass
He's the reason we HAVE OPTIMUS PRIME. Not a single voice could've fit, not a single person would've made Optimus who he is other than Peter Cullen.
He's the reason we have transformers prime. (Because he VOICES OPTIMUS HERE TOO) And the TFP movie (TFP beast hunters predacons rising, where he ONCE AGAIN VOICES OPTIMUS). And he's the reason why we have the continuation of that, which is transformers robots in disguise (WHERE HE IS, ONCE AGAIN, OPTIMUS MOTHERFUCKING PRIME) And then THAT became comics with tfp's characters that didn't exist anywhere else in canon (as far as I'm aware, it's been a while, IE knockout and breakout with their TFP DESIGNS, etc) then became earthspark later down the line, which was a mix of mtmte, TFP, and bayverse designs in concept art bc it combined ideas
Bayverse is ALSO ALSO the reason we HAVE ROTB. AND BUMBLEBEE 2018.
The reason I say he's responsible for all of these? The reason I say that Bayverse is a backbone for transformers (branching off from G1 ofc)? Because every single new fucking continuity or series or comics or whatever the hell is ALWAYS based on preexisting designs merging with new ideas.
He made Optimus Prime who Optimus Prime is and frankly I am a little god damn sick of people saying "this series/movie is bad" or whatever just because they don't like it
Anyways I had to rant but I'm not sorry about it and I hope others can feel a bit heard because I am so fed up with online slander.
I grew up with Bayverse. It gave me my entire start to this fandom. It gave THOUSANDS OF US STARTS TO THIS FANDOM. It is the SOLE reason we have so much we have now, as much as we have- and god damnit, you don't have to like it but UNDERSTAND it is the ONLY reason you have more than 3/4 the content this fandom currently does (if not more)
/end rant
#dohma.rant#transformers#tf rotb#rotb#tfp#transformers prime#tf rid 2015#tf rid15#maccadam#yeah i take no fucking criticism on this#sick of it tbh#transformers bayverse#earthspark#tf earthspark#peter cullen#tagging this boi a lot
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so the thing is i’m against unethically scraped AI art, of course, for a lot of reasons that have everything to do with capitalism and consent, and nothing to do with ‘ugliness’ or restricting the philosophical definition of art. right. to put it out there. but the thing is— from an art critique standpoint, not me making sweeping critiques of what isn’t Art— that i feel a lot of the emptiness people see in what AI art has materially produced (as opposed to what it is in theory capable of) is because a lot of the people directing the AI are just not in conversation with the art world at large. there are some AI artists doing some things that, on paper, are interesting, even if i’m still against its existence, and i find most of those people are artists already! but the majority of what i see that’s tasteless still would’ve been tasteless if it were hand-drawn. just because of the corner of the internet that this technology has blossomed is so… nft, crypto hell adjacent, it’s full of people who have a pretty shallow idea of art anyway, and only see it as a means of making money.
like, to be clear, it’s by no means exclusive to AI art bros, and i’d be vaguely annoyed at any art that fell into that niche— it’s just boring for me (not that boringness makes something Art or not). it’s just wild that this kind of approach is so saturated in AI art spheres. if there were some sense of discovery, or technique-building, or contribution to a larger conversation maybe i’d be intrigued despite my moral stance (which i’d hold regardless of how ‘good’ it looked), but to me the vast majority of AI art being ugly and kinda crappy is a separate critique from it being unethical, but boy is it often ugly and kinda crappy
#text#in which i’m like ‘ai art being ugly isnt the point’#‘however separately i do also think it’s usually ugly.’
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a very lengthy lesson on beauty, by Katina
I’ve known that beauty was arbitrary, superficial, and at its crux, incredibly insignificant since I was a young teen, and I feel like anybody with a functioning brain can recognize that fact as well, but I think what truly solidified that revelation for me was my personal experiences wherein it was my sheer charisma, confidence, intelligence, intellectualism, assertiveness and wit—my essence, effectually—that not only got me to important places and enthralled people with ease but also made people view me as much more beautiful than I already am even though I’m probably considered ‘objectively’ ‘beautiful’ in the face/body, am a former runway model/pageant girl/athlete/etc. and have been described as a beauty queen in various respects by very prominent people (even when younger me lead a low-maintenance lifestyle as the result of being low-income, in forceful isolation & in cohort with unsavory people so my appearance was collaterally affected and I’d taken a lackadaisical approach to it).
Hell, I’ve literally accrued hundreds of thousands of followers on multiple social media platforms without showing my face (and, until this year, revealing my name) once for nearing 10 years because people were 1.) impressed and captivated by my words/thoughts/opinions and the firm manner in which they’re articulated, and 2.) intrigued by the mystique and the preemptive prevention of anybody’s preconceived notions of me and their self-projections onto me that accompany me eschewing my online identity while I transmit words, and people have correctly concluded that I must be a goddess roaming the earth without knowing a single thing about me beforehand because of that fact. Simply put, I do not need and have never needed to use solely my face or my body to reel people in. My hair & my attire are also the things that typically manage to entrance people about me, second to my disposition/character; my facial and bodily ‘beauty’ are legitimately the last priority for other people and they are last in priority to myself, too.
Anyhow, the point that I’m trying to make with this is that I guarantee a vast majority of you are not “ugly” or even average or above-average, you just lack charisma, personality, knowledge and confidence that you need to build in order to get by in this world and you also fail to recognize that beauty is subjective and adhere to the old adage “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”; ergo, someone that you may regard as gorgeous is probably regarded as grotesque-looking to someone else, and somebody probably finds you with your “averageness” more beautiful than a literal high-profile supermodel (with a very crafted, curated, regulated and micromanaged image, bear in mind) because different niches appeal to different people. Even if you are foundationally “ugly”, misdirection is a concept that exists and can be easily utilized through the means of simply accentuating another feature of yours in order to misdirect people away from your “ugliness” e.g. your style of dress, your sense of humor, your gait, your hair, your sociable personality, your taste in music or art, your accessories, your nails — and notwithstanding all of this, it is perfectly fine to just exist as an “ugly” individual and not appeal to others or make the effort to appeal to others because you just do not give a shit. That is perfectly acceptable as well, and you are under no obligation to conform to the ever-fleeting beauty standards of today (another thing that I see many women struggle to cognize and accept, even without taking into account the Photoshopped and surgery-ridden ‘influencers’ that litter social media; beauty is not only subjective but it is also fickle and malleable).
“Beauty” is insubstantial, but more or less, the true form of beauty is just being yourself without caring a modicum for what others think about you because you weren’t put on this planet to care nor to appease everybody (which is an impossible feat to achieve, anyway), you were put here to grow and improve yourself — which is the most important thing you should do and focus on doing. There’ll always be at least one person that appreciates you for who you are, regardless of looks or personality or status, even if unknowingly or from a distance—consider that fact, and try to survive. You could lose your life at any time for any reason—live it to the fullest before that can happen, cherish it, and don’t waste it being a people-pleaser and a slave for something as meaningless as “beauty”.
#also any perceived flaws/imperfections you have about yourself are just that—PERCEIVED and most likely exaggerated and self-distorted.#Nobody actually cares about your nose unless it’s PROMINENTLY misshapen or malformed or something#and if that is the case then like I said it can easily be mitigated by AT LEAST misdirecting people towards your other characteristics#beauty#leveling up#hypergamy#les pensées de la reine des roses
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Best of SXSW 2021.
From properly good Covid comedies to an epic folk-horror doc and an Indigenous feminist Western, the Letterboxd Festiville team reveals their ten best of SXSW Online.
We dug out old lanyards to wear around the house, and imagined ourselves queuing up the block from The Ritz (RIP). We dialled into screenings and panels, and did our level best to channel that manic “South By” energy from our living rooms.
The SXSW festival atmosphere was muted, and that’s to be expected. But the films themselves? Gems, so many gems, whether shot in a fortnight on the smell of an oily stimulus check, or painstakingly rotoscoped over seven years.
When we asked SXSW Film director Janet Pierson what she and her team were looking for this year, she told us: “We’re always looking for films that do a lot with little, that are ingenious, and pure talent, and discovery, and being surprised. We’re just looking for really good stories with good emotional resonance.” If there was one common denominator we noticed across this year’s SXSW picks, it was a smart, tender injection of comedy into stories about trauma, grief, unwanted pregnancy, chronic health conditions, homelessness, homophobia and, yes, Covid.
It’s hard to pick favorites, but here are the ten SXSW features and two short films we haven’t stopped thinking about, in no particular order.
Recovery Directed by Mallory Everton and Stephen Meek, written by Everton and Whitney Call
“Covid 19 is in charge now” might be the most hauntingly funny line in a SXSW film. In Recovery, two sisters set out on a haywire road trip to rescue their grandmother from her nursing home in the wake of a severe Covid 19 outbreak. There’s no random villain or threat, because isn’t being forced to exist during a pandemic enough of a threat in itself? If ever we were worried about “Covid comedies”, SXSW managed to flush out the good ones. (Read about the Festiville team’s other favorite Covid-inflected comedies, including an interview with the directors of I’m Fine (Thanks for Asking).)
Alex Marzona praises the “off-the-charts chemistry” between leads Mallory Everton and Whitney Call. Best friends since they were nine, the pair also wrote the film, with Everton co-directing with Stephen Meek. Every laugh comes from your gut and feels like something only the cast and crew would usually be privy to. “You can tell a lot of the content is improvised, which just attests to their talent,” writes Emma. Recovery doesn’t make you laugh awkwardly about how awful the last year has been—rather, it reminds you that even in such times there are still laughs to be had, trips to be taken, family worth uprooting everything for. Just make sure you’ve packed enough wet wipes for the road, and think long and hard about who should babysit your mice. —EK
The Spine of Night Written and directed by Morgan Galen King and Philip Gelatt
Don’t get too attached to any characters from its star-studded cast—nobody is safe (or fully-clothed) in The Spine of Night’s raw, ultra-violent and cynical world. Conjured over the last seven years, directors Philip Gelatt and Morgan Galen King’s rotoscoped epic recaptures the dazzling imagination and scope of their influences Ralph Bakshi and Heavy Metal. Approaching an anthology-style structure to explore how ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely’—a proverb more potent now than when Gelatt and King began their project—the film packs a franchise’s worth of ideas in its 90-minute runtime. Though the storytelling justifiably proves itself overly dense for some, it will find the audience it’s after, as other Letterboxd members have declared it “a rare treat” and “a breath of fresh air in the feature-length animation scene”. For sure, The Spine of Night can join Sundance premieres Flee and Cryptozoo in what’s already a compelling year for unique two-dimensional animation. —JM
Kambole Campbell caught up with Gelatt and King (who are also Letterboxd members!) during SXSW to talk about animation inspirations and rotoscoping techniques.
The Drover’s Wife: The Legend of Molly Johnson Written and directed by Leah Purcell
Snakes, steers and scoundrels beware! Writer-director-star Leah Purcell ably repurposes the Western genre for Aboriginal and female voices in The Drover’s Wife. Molly Johnson is a crack-shot anti-heroine for the ages, in this decolonized reimagining of a classic 1892 short story by Henry Lawson. And by reimagining, we mean a seismic shift in the narrative: Purcell has fleshed out a full story of a mother-of-four, pregnant with her fifth, a missing husband, predatory neighbors, a mysterious runaway and a young English couple on different paths to progress in this remote Southern land. Purcell first adapted this story for the stage, then as published fiction; she rightly takes the leading role in the screen version, too.
As a debut feature director, Purcell (Goa-Gunggari-Wakka Wakka Murri) already has a firm grip on the macabre and the menacing, not shying away from violence, but making very careful decisions about what needs to be depicted, given all that Molly Johnson and her family are subjected to. She also sneaks in mystic touches, and a hint of romance (local heartthrob Rob Collins can take us on a walk to where the Snowy widens to see blooming wildflowers anytime). Judging by early Letterboxd reviews, it’s not for everyone, but this is Australian colonization through an Indigenous feminist’s eyes, with a fierce, intersectional pay-off. “Extremely similar to a vast majority of the issues and themes explored in The Nightingale,” writes Claira. “I’m slowly realizing that my favorite type of Westerns are Australian.” —LK, GG
Swan Song Written and directed by Todd Stephens
Udo Kier is often the bridesmaid, rarely the bride. Now, after a lifetime of supporting roles ranging from vampires and villains to art-house muse, he finally gets to shine center-stage in Swan Song. Kier dazzles as a coiffure soothsayer in this lyrical pageant to the passage of queer times in backwater Sandusky, Ohio. “He is absolutely wonderful here,” writes Adrianna, “digging deep and pulling out a mesmerizing, deeply affecting and emotionally textured performance, proving that he’s an actor with much more range than people give him credit for.”
A strong supporting cast all have melancholy moments to shine, with Linda Evans (Dynasty), Michael Urie (Ugly Betty) and Jennifer Coolidge (Legally Blonde) along for the stroll. Surreal camp touches add joy (that chandelier, the needle drop!) but by the end, the tears roll (both of joy and sadness). Writer-director Todd Stephens ties up his Sandusky trilogy in this hometown homage, a career peak for both him and Kier. Robert Daniels puts it well, writing that Swan Song is “campy as hell, but it’s also a heartfelt LGBTQ story about lost lovers and friends, vibrant memories and the final passage of a colorful life.” —LK
Leo Koziol spoke with Todd Stephens and Udo Kier during SXSW about Grace Jones, David Bowie and dancing with yourself.
Islands Written and directed by Martin Edralin
Islands is a Mike Leigh-esque story that presents a Canadian Filipino immigrant family full of quirk and character, centered around Joshua, a reticent 50-year-old homebody son. The story drifts in and out of a deep well of sadness. Moments of lightness and familial love make the journey worthwhile. “A film so Filipino a main plot device is line-dancing,” writes Karl. “Islands is an incredibly empathetic film about what it’s like to feel unmoored from comfort. It’s distinctly Filipino and deals with the psychology of Asian culture in a way that feels both profound and oddly comforting.” In a year in which we’ve all been forced to physically slow down, Islands “shows us how slow life can be,” writes Justin, “and how important it is to be okay with that.” Rogelio Balagtas’s performance as Joshua—a first-time leading role—won him the SXSW Grand Jury Award for Breakthrough Performance. —LK
Ninjababy Directed by Yngvild Sve Flikke, written by Flikke with Johan Fasting and Inga H. Sætre
Ninjababy is as ridiculous as its title. When 23-year-old Rakel finds herself accidentally pregnant, scheduling an abortion is a no-brainer. But she’s way too far along, she’s informed, so she’s going to have to have the baby. The ensuing meltdown might have been heartbreaking if the film wasn’t so damn funny. Ninjababy draws on the comforting and familiar (“Lizzie McGuire if she was a pregnant young adult,” writes Nick), while mixing shock with originality (Erica Richards notices “a few aggressive and vulgar moments [but] somehow none of it seemed misplaced”).
An animated fetus in the style of Rakel’s own drawings appears to beg and shame Rakel into motherhood while she fights to hold onto her confidence that not wanting to be a mother doesn’t make her a bad person. Ninjababy’s greatest feat is its willingness to delve into that complication: yes, it’s righteous and feminist and 21st-century to claim your own body and life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to turn away from something growing inside of you. It’s a comedy about shame, art, finding care in unlikely places—and there’s something in it for the gents, too. The titular ninjababy wouldn’t leave Rakel alone, and it’s unlikely to leave you either. Winner of the SXSW Global Audience Award. —SH
The Fallout Written and directed by Megan Park
Canadian actress Megan Park brought the youthful wisdom of her days on the teen drama series The Secret Life of the American Teenager to her first project behind the camera, and it paid off. Following the scattered after-effects of a school shooting, The Fallout may be the most acute, empathetic depiction of childhood trauma on screen in recent memory. “It sneaks up on you with its honesty and how it spends time with its lead, carried so beautifully by Jenna Ortega. Even the more conventional moments are poignant because of context,” writes Kevin L. Lee. Much of that “sneaky” honesty emerges as humor—despite the heavy premise, moments of hilarity hang on the edges of almost every scene. And Ortega’s portrayal of sweet-but-angsty Vada brings self-awareness to that humor, like when Vada’s avoidant, inappropriate jokes with her therapist reveal her desperation, but they garner genuine laughs nonetheless.
In this debut, Park shows an unmatched understanding of non-linear ways that young people process their pain. Sometimes kids try drugs! Sometimes they scream at their parents! But more often than not, they really do know what they want, who loves them, and how much time they need to grieve (see also: Jessie Barr’s Sophie Jones, starring her cousin Jessica Barr, out now on VOD and in theaters). The Fallout forsakes melodrama to embrace confusion, ambiguity and joy. Winner of both the SXSW Grand Jury and Audience Narrative Feature Awards, and the Brightcove Illumination Award. —SH
Ludi Directed by Edson Jean, written by Jean and Joshua Jean-Baptiste
When Ludi begins, it’s quiet and dreamy. The film’s opening moments conjure the simple pleasures of the titular character’s Haitian heritage: the music, the colors, the people. Ludi (Shein Monpremier) smiles to herself as she starts her morning with a tape recording her cousin mailed from Haiti to Miami, and listens as her family members laugh through their troubles before recording an upbeat tape of her own. But that’s where the dreaminess ends—Ludi is an overworked, underpaid nurse picking up every shift she possibly can in order to send money home. Writer-director Edson Jean fixates on the pains and consequences of Ludi’s relentless determination, which comes to a head when she moonlights as a private nurse for an old man who doesn’t want her there.
Ashton Kinley notes how the film “doesn’t overly dramatize or pull at false emotional strings to make its weight felt. The second half of the feature really allows all of that to shine, as the film becomes a tender and empathetic two-hander.” George’s (Alan Myles Heyman) resentment of his own aging body steps in as Ludi’s antagonist. Jean throws together jarring contrasts: George throwing Ludi out of the bathroom, followed by Ludi’s memories of home, followed by another lashing out, followed by a shared prayer. The tension is unsustainable. By interspersing the back-breaking predicament of a working-class immigrant with the sights and sounds of the Caribbean, Ludi elegantly, painfully reveals what the cost of a dream can be. —SH
Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror Written and directed by Kier-La Janisse
Building on the folk horror resurgence of films like The Witch and Midsommar, Kier-La Janisse’s 193-minute documentary Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched is a colossal, staggering undertaking that should school even the most seasoned of horror buffs. “Thorough is an understatement,” says Claira.
Combining a historian’s studied, holistic patience with a cinephile’s rabid, insatiable thirst, the film, through the course of six chapters, broadens textbook British definitions, draws trenchant socio-political and thematic connections, debunks myths and transports viewers to far-flung parts of the globe in a way that almost feels anthropological. As Jordan writes, “Three hours later and my mind is racing between philosophical questions about the state of hauntology we generationally entrap ourselves in, wanting to buy every single one of the 100+ films referenced here, and being just a bit in awe of Janisse’s truly breathless work.” An encyclopedic forest worth losing yourself in—get ready for those watchlists to balloon. Winner of the SXSW Midnighters Audience Award. —AY
Introducing, Selma Blair Directed by Rachel Fleit
There’ll likely be some level of hype when this intimate collaboration between actress Selma Blair and filmmaker Rachel Fleit comes out later in the year on Discovery+, and that’s okay, because that is Blair’s intention in sharing the details of her stem-cell transplant for multiple sclerosis. There’d be little point in going there if you are not prepared to really go there, and Introducing, Selma Blair is a tics-and-all journey not just into what life is like with a chronic condition, a young son, and a career that relies on one’s ability to keep a straight face. It’s also an examination of the scar tissue of childhood, the things we are told by our parents, the ideas we come to believe about ourselves. “I almost felt like I shouldn’t have such intimate access to some of the footage in this documentary,” writes Andy Yen. “Bravo to Selma for allowing the filmmakers to show some truly raw and soul-bearing videos about her battle with multiple sclerosis that make us feel as if we are as close to her as family.” —GG
Femme Directed by Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping
I May Destroy You fans, rejoice: Paapa Essiedu, who played Arabella’s fascinating best friend Kwame, takes center stage in Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping’s intoxicating short film Femme. It’s a simple premise—Jordan, a femme gay man, follows his drug dealer (Harris Dickinson, mastering the sexually repressed brusque young man like no one else) home to pick up some goods on a night out. Except, of course, it’s not that simple. The co-directors build a world of danger, tension and electricity, with lusciously lensed scenes that lose focus as the threat rises. Frankie calls it “hypnotizing and brutal and gorgeous” and we couldn’t agree more. A crime thriller wrestling with hyper-masculinity seen through the eyes of an LGBTQ+ character, with a sucker-punch ending to boot, the world needs more than twenty minutes of this story. —EK
Play It Safe Directed by Mitch Kalisa
If you (unwisely) thought that the vulnerable, progressive environment of drama school would be a safe space for Black students, Play It Safe confirms that even a liberal bunch of actors (and their teacher) are capable of being blind to their own egregiously racist microagressions. Mitch Kalisa’s excellent short film explores structural prejudice head-on, in an electric acting exercise that rests on where the kinetic, gritty 16mm camera is pointing at every pivotal turn. At first, we’re with Black drama student Jonathan Ajayi as he receives the assignment; then we are with the rest of the class, exactly where we need to be. “Literally in your face and absolutely breathtaking,” writes Nia. A deserving winner of the SXSW Grand Jury and Audience narrative shorts prizes. —GG
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Old Wars, New Faces Part 3
For weeks, Odysseus goaded Kevin through a rigid exercise program. As his body grew stronger, Odysseus pushed Kevin to accept more rigorous training methods; boulders stacked on carts that had to be carried up and down a hill, scaling the tallest of trees, and using what he knew of hand-to-hand combat to build up Kevin’s reflexes and muscle memory. Odysseus was hesitant to train Kevin in the art of archery or sword fighting, because as confident as Odysseus was in his own power, he was still afraid that too many out of character changes would shock Kevin into questioning what was happening and lead him to fight back violently. His mission was too important to let a simple mistake end his journey before it could even begin.
For Kevin’s part he was deeply enjoying the changes, watching as his body ballooned to body builder status in the time it usually took to only put on a pound or two of weight. He was more energized than he had ever been and his reputation in town was no longer one of disgust, but of curiosity. Under the persistence of Odysseus, Kevin quickly adapted to the modern Greek language and tried to limit his English where he could. When his pronunciation was perfected, people forgot about the strange American tourist with an obsession with the old stories and began to wonder where this massive Greek man came from.
However, as Odysseus worked on Kevin’s mind and body, he had neglected Kevin’s finances. One day he jogged up the stairs to his apartment to find an eviction notice taped to his door. Odysseus had never had to worry about money when he was a king and even in disguise, hospitality rules commanded people to open their doors to all who came to them. However, when Odysseus tried to offer his help around the motel in exchange for being allowed to stay, he was refused and told he had two weeks to vacate his room.
Later in the day, he asked around the neighborhood looking for jobs, but many people couldn’t afford to hire someone at the tail end of the tourist season. Eventually though, he was able to find a woman who worked at a nearby farm where they were still looking for workers and who drove the carpool for people in town. The job was for 3 euros an hour collecting olives, killing weeds, and cutting vines. He would have been paid more, but Kevin didn’t have the legal papers needed to work legally as a non-EU citizen and the farm only took on undocumented workers if they agreed to get paid less than minimum wage.
After three days of grueling work in the olive groves, Odysseus and Kevin first met Dryas. Odysseus was high in an olive tree cutting down branches when he heard the deep booming voice of his boss Markos screaming nearby. Markos was known as a terror of the vineyard, docking pay for smelling of cigarette smoke after breaks or taking too long in getting back to work. Odysseus knew if Markos screamed at him for any bullshit he would strangle the bastard, so he was relieved when Markos stomped right past him to the olive tree on his right.
“Dryas!” Markos yelled at the foot of the tree. “One of the managers caught you coming into work nineteen minutes late, what could you find that was more important than doing your job?”
Dryas came down the ladder in a black t-shirt, ugly grey sweatpants, and a smock all the farm workers had tied around his waist.
“Nothing Markos, that’s why I took my time coming here. I figured it was better to be well-rested in time for my shift rather than exhausted sprinting here so I could have the energy needed to be more productive.” He said with a shrug.
Markos fumed and turned a bright red, “Listen to me you arrogant little shit. I can fire you and replace you with a homeless man who will work for pennies. I decide what you need in order to be more efficient at work, not you.”
“But look at how many olives I managed to collect in the few minutes it took for you to get here,” Dryas said, gesturing to the nearly full bushel of olives next to him.
Markos peered inside and some of the red coloring left his face, leaving his cheeks a flushed pink. He glared back at Dryas, “Just get back to work, but if you ever so much as show up a minute late I will have you fired. Do you understand?”
Dryas nodded, “Perfectly.” He said with false sincerity.
Markos grumbled and stormed off, a string of obscenities following him as he left. Dryas watched Markos go and when he was finally out of distance began laughing. It was then that he reached into the bushel and pulled out several pairs of folded clothing and someone’s work boots. Only the top layer of the bushel was covered in olives and without the clothes adding to the volume of the barrel it was practically empty.
Odysseus laughed as he descended the ladder, “Your cleverness easily surpasses mine Dryas. What’s your surname?”
Dryas first looked at Odysseus startled, but then quickly relaxed.
“My name’s Dryas Morata and I always appreciate a loving audience.” He said with a bow. “So what’s your name big man, or are you going to remain mysterious to everyone?”
Now it was time for Odysseus to be startled. He had avoided telling most people Kevin’s name as it immediately pegged him as a foreigner, but he knew Kevin still struggled with using the fake name as his own.
“Arsenios Xevros” Odysseus said flatly, trying not to let the fear seep through. He felt Kevin rumble with confusion inside him, as he didn’t seem to understand why he wasn’t using his own name.
“Hmm” Dryas said. “Not many Kefalonians have that surname. Where is your family from, exactly?” he asked, hands on his hips.
“Ithaki” Odysseus said confidently, staring directly into Dryas’s small green eyes.
Dryas nodded. “Beautiful place Ithaki. Not too many people though.” He said, bringing his stand directly next to Odysseus so they could work on the same tree. Odysseus and Dryas then climbed their ladders together and went back to work, but continued their conversation.
“So what brings you to this little slice of hell?” Dryas asked, dropping an olive into his bushel. “Being surrounded by nothing but goats and fish get boring for you?” he asked.
Odysseus felt his blood boil, he knew the extreme disrepair that had fallen upon his island home, but did his best to stifle his pride and rage and kept working.
“I’m here to find a man, but I need some money first before I can go find him.” Odysseus said dropping two olives into his barrel.
Dryas laughed. “Aren’t we all, big man, aren’t we all?” Odysseus noticed Dryas’s voice was very high-pitched and feminine, very different from most of the men on the island who did their best to masculinize theirs. His skin was smooth and largely hairless, except for the short well kept brown-blonde hair on his head. The only thing that showed wear on Dryas’s body was his knuckles, covered in blisters and deep cracks, possibly from a lifetime of working in the fields.
It was while they were talking that Odysseus had an image of Dryas, clothed in only his underwear and leaning against an olive tree.
Odysseus hadn’t been with anyone besides his wife, Penelope. He had devoted himself to her, cherished her, but it had been so long in the land of the dead that they felt anything but coldness for each other, not in mind but in body. Even, with their souls in paradise her skin felt like ice against his skin and lips like sandpaper.
Internally, Kevin tried to shake the thoughts of Dryas away in a way that shocked Odysseus. Odysseus knew the body he inhabited was one sexually attracted to men, yet Kevin resisted, bringing to mind beatings and mockery he had suffered from for just looking or sounding too gay or effeminate, let alone having sex with a man.
Odysseus agreed not to push his desires to calm Kevin down and for the next few weeks, he kept his attraction to Dryas a secret.
Despite the strange looks they received from time to time they spent most of their time together laughing and talking. Of course, when they were warned that Markos or another manager was near they moved to separate trees, but when everyone relaxed they would move their tree stands back next to each other again.
Dryas turned out to be of immense help in teaching Odysseus about the current state of the world. It was Dryas who explained to Odysseus that their jobs were only temporary, when the olive picking season ended in a few months, everyone was getting laid off- save for those who had been on the farm for years, like Markos.
“What will you do when the season ends?” Odysseus had asked while cutting down vines. His overalls were tight and squeezed his crotched. He was down to using donated clothes from the local Christians, as most of what he had no longer fit his massive size and no one wanted to buy Kevin’s ugly clothes. Dryas was more comfortable, in tight jeans and a white t-shirt stained with olive oil.
“I’ll just go back to performing odd jobs, same as everyone else. Then when Spring comes around and the locusts return all the resorts, taverns, cafés, and restaurants will open their doors for us to flock back in.”
Odysseus frowned at this and kept cutting. When Odysseus was king the vast majority of his people worked the same profession and the same land their family worked for centuries. The idea of constantly moving to new jobs, of constantly being displaced without any certainty of a roof over one’s head or food in their stomach confused him deeply and he had to take a break.
Odysseus left Dryas and walked to the equipment shed. Once inside he took to a small seat by the window and leaned his head against one of the wooden walls. At least in the shed Odysseus wouldn’t get yelled at for missing work.
A few minutes later Dryas entered, but jumped when he saw Odysseus.
“Shit. I didn't know you were going to be in here.” Dryas said. He walked deeper into the small, narrow shed and reached for a bottle of weed killer on a high shelf. Kevin’s anxieties immediately began to overwhelm Odysseus as his mind became awash with the potential consequences of being alone in a small space with Dryas. Dryas’s body was slick with sweat, his shirt and apron clinging to his back, showing his hard slender back.
So Odysseus stood up to leave. “I’ll just see you back at the tree.” he said.
Odysseus tried to move past Dryas, but his large frame and the small space made it impossible to move without touching him. With Odysseus’s waist up against Dryas’s strong high ass, his dick immediately got hard, stretching against the fabric. Odysseus grimaced and did his best to pull away, desperately hoping Dryas didn’t notice his dick riding up against Dryas’s ass.
Once Odysseus made it to the door, Dryas turned to him, “You don’t have to go Arsenios. If you lock the door behind you we can have a few minutes to ourselves before we have to go back out.”
Odysseus and Kevin stared at the door, both uncertain as to what to do, but eventually one of them took the initiative and locked the door. Dryas smiled and ran into Odysseus’s arms and began making out with him. Odysseus’s body reacted naturally, settling into a comfortable rhythm with Dryas. The space in Odysseus’s overalls for his cock evaporated and he quickly unbuttoned his overalls from under his smock and allowed them to drop to the floor.
Dryas’s tongue was steady and warm in Odysseus’s mouth making smooth, steady motions inside of him. Despite being much smaller Dryas pushed Odysseus up against the work table and was the first one to grab Odysseus’s dick through his pants. Odysseus pulled back from kissing and moaned as Dryas rubbed it.
“As good as this feels” Dryas whispered, “Try to keep quiet. We could both lose our jobs.” Odysseus meekly nodded and they went back to making out.
Up against the table Odysseus decided to keep improvising and shoved all the gardening equipment and bags of seeds to the floor. Dryas laughed, “We’re going to get in so much trouble,” but gladly let himself get lifted up by Odysseus onto the table. Dryas undid his smock as Odysseus undid his and they both threw them to the chair Odysseus had been sitting in.
Dryas wrapped his legs around Odysseus's waist, his ass against Odysseus’s hard dick. Odysseus kicked off his boots and pulled down his pants and underwear. Dryas released his grip on Odysseus’s thighs, letting the clothes drop to the floor.
Odysseus climbed on the table with Dryas and slowly peeled back Dryas’s pants and underwear as Dryas kicked off his muddy boots. Odysseus went to flip Dryas on his back, but Dryas stopped him.
“Before you do that, grab a bottle of olive oil above your head to use as lube. My ass can take a lot, but a thick cock in my ass still hurts without lube.”
Odysseus nodded and while Dryas laid down flat on his stomach, Odysseus grabbed the bottle, uncorked it and began rubbing oil on himself. The olive oil felt good going up and down his thirsty cock. Then Odysseus massaged the oil onto Dryas’s wide ass cheeks and deep in his hole, making Dryas moan with pleasure. Odysseus shoved his dick inside Dryas and started fucking him. Dryas arched his back like a cat as Odysseus pounded away, all the fear about repercussions and violence melting away. Even Kevin, started to relax at this, still terrified and confused at what was happening, but enjoying the deep fucking he was doing to Dryas’s hole.
When they finished, Dryas and Odysseus laid flat on the table that shuddered under their weight. “To think, I actually thought you were straight,” Dryas said, laughing. He kissed Odysseus’s ear, “I’m so happy I was wrong.”
“Am I your first?” Odysseus asked with a grin and Dryas playfully rolled his eyes.
“I wish. The first boy I ever had sex with was with a German businessman on a pier.” Dryas sighed contently and curled into the crook of Odysseus’s muscular arm, “This is much nicer, even if it was on a rickety piece of shit table.”
“Oh, don’t hate the table. It was able to handle all our fucking, wasn’t it?” Odysseus asked.
Dryas nodded sleepily, “Yeah, it did somehow.”
Odysseus wanted to bask in this moment for as long as possible, but knew anyone could come knocking on the door and demand to be let in.
Odysseus rolled off the table and stood up, “C’mon, Dryas, let’s go.”
Dryas moaned, “Fuck, can’t we stay here a few more minutes?”
“No, we have at least another hour or so and who knows when Markos is coming back.” Odysseus shrugged on his work shirt and Dryas sat up on the table, staring at Odysseus with glazed eyes.
“Are you like a god or something?” Dryas asked and Odysseus froze. He had no plan for what to do if any mortal saw through him. Would Dryas cower? Run away? Try to kill him?
Dryas yawned, “Because honestly, I get fucked all the time and that was the best sex I ever had. Even with all the cum in my ass and the fact we didn’t use protection I still want to do that again.”
Odysseus sighed with relief and got back to pulling up his clothes. Dryas joined him and once they had wiped themselves up, they got to work cleaning up the shed. They put the bags of fertilizer and seeds back on the tables, put the tools back on their hooks, and hid the half-used bottle of olive oil in a small alcove in the shed. They could dispose of that later.
They decided to leave separately, first Odysseus who had been gone a long time already and then Dryas.
On his way back to the olive grove as the sun began to set Odysseus felt a sense of calm and joy he hadn’t felt in millennia. As he felt the warmth against his skin as he walked, Odysseus remembered that this time of peace would not last. War was coming whether he would like it or not, but for that moment Odysseus allowed himself to enjoy the sun and the memory of sex with Dryas. Kevin remained conflicted about the experience, terrified about the repercussions, but feeling a sense of joy and contentment that he had never felt before. Whatever repercussion coming his way couldn’t take that from him.
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It’s time we stopped saying people take “the easy way out” in medicine
I’d really like to stop hearing people say “people don’t want to make diet and other lifestyle changes, they just want pills” as if people wanting (or not wanting) things occurs in a vaccuum.
There seems to be an understanding that capitalism has made life exceptionally difficult, even for people and families in the so-called middle class. In the USA, even someone who is financial secure -- has savings, a retirement fund, “good” health insurance -- can be set back financially for years for injuries sustained in a car accident.
It seems to me that most people in the USA know that they’re not that far off from financial ruin. All it would take is a serious enough injury - or, worse, a fight to surive something like cancer. Suddenly, you go from being financially secure to screwed, and the system is set up so that you receive no aid until after you’ve depleted your carefully saved funds (and, in some cases, anything considered an “asset”, too).
All that hard work to do “the responsible thing” suddenly means nothing.
So when I hear someone say that “people don’t want to make life style changes -- they just want to pop a pill and fix it,” I have to wonder if this person is just generally unaware of the lurking financial crisis hanging over all our heads, or has -- for reasons unknown -- decided to persist in this ridiculous assumption that other human beings aren’t actually invested in the health of their own bodies.
After a patient hears that they are either fully prediabetic or are close to developing Type 2 Diabetes, do people really think that they don’t care that they’re about to develop a serious illness that will put them at risk for countless other maladies -- including a shortened lifespan?
Do people honestly believe that these individuals persist in their old eating habbits because they can’t be bothered by eating healthier? Isn’t it entirely possible that they have made “poor choices in diet” to due circumstances beyond their control? More specifically, isn’t it possible that those same circumstances are still beyond their control, even after they find out they need to “make a change”?
Isn’t it possible that these individuals “have a lunch break” that rare actually happens because of the “lean and mean” scheduling tactic their employer uses to save money? (Which results in them “grazing” rather than eating a single meal - a notoriously bad thing to do if you’re at risk for Type 2 Diabetes.)
Or maybe that’s not it. Maybe the issue is that when they go to the grocery store, their weekly grocery budget isn’t enough to cover purchasing “healthy” options -- not if they want to eat for the entire week, anyway.
Or maybe it’s not even that. Maybe they have enough money to buy “healthy” foods, but by the time they get home, they’re exhausted and hungry, and don’t have energy to cook -- or simply don’t want to spend over an hour preparing the “healthy” meal they’re supposed to eat that night when they’re hungry right now. (Or, worse, maybe they’re responsible for feeding other family members who are also hungry right now.)
The same goes for exercise. Do people honestly thing that other people don’t exercise because they’re lazy? Because “all people want to do is watch TV”? Really? Surely everyone must know that the vast majority of people like at least one activity that qualifies as exercise. (And if you disagree, think about it for a moment. Is there anyone you know who doesn’t like a single activity where they are moving? Anything. Anything where you are moving is excercise.)
But -- if that’s the case -- why don’t people in the USA exercise enough? If we have the desire, why aren’t we doing it?
It’s the same issue as eating “healthy” -- you need to have the time/money/opportunity to do the actiivty you like that counts as exercise. If you like gardening, you need to own (or have access to) a garden to do it. If you like running, you either need access to indoor equipment or an area where it’s safe to run outside. If you like exercises classes - like spin class or other workouts - you need the money to pay for those classes.
Yes, you can cheaply purchase some lifting weights to “exercise” at home. Hell, you might even be able to come up with an exercise routine that costs you no money at all -- but, there’s no such thing as an exercise routine that doesn’t cost you time -- which is often something people just don’t have, especially if they have to work more than one job, or if they have children/family members they’re responsible for taking care of. Surely, people must know that some people honestly don’t have an “extra” hour - or even an “extra” thirty minutes - for anything.
I’m also sick and tired of hearing stuff like, “Well, their priorities are wrong. They need to put their health first.”
What?
Tell me, isn’t it “healthy” to have adequate shelter and clothing, so as to avoid sunstroke, hypothermia, and other forms of illness and death by exposure? Oh, it is? Then I guess paying rent (and paying for clothing and clothing management) is part of “putting health first.”
Tell me, isn’t it “healthy” to have adequate calorie intake - even if it isn’t rich in nutrients - so that you don’t starve to death and lose your teeth? Oh, it is? Then I guess paying for groceries - even if they’re not all “healthy” foods - is part of “putting health first.”
This idea that people “aren’t putting their health first” because they stick with a crappy job to afford housing and other basic needs -- despite the negative impact on their health -- is ridiculous because leaving a crappy job (without haivng another one lined up) puts their health at even more risk then it is now.
It’s not that people don’t want lifestyle changes -- they don’t “want” a pill to make it better. The ugly truth is, the way things are now, they need a pill to make it better -- they need the fix to be something that won’t risk their livelihood because if they lose their job, they’re at risk for losing everything.
I have a disorder that’s technically systemic (meaning, it affects all systems in the body), though it’s classified as a neurological or a neuroendocrine disorder, since effects the neurological systems and the endocrine/hormone systems of the body directly.
When I first sought treatment, I was given medicine and some basic guidance on things to avoid whenever possible. Doctors explained to me that I needed to make behavioral (aka “lifestyle”) changes, too, but seemed resigned to the idea that I wouldn’t really bother doing more than the bare minimum (that way, I can say I’m following my doctor’s advice, but still be “lazy” or whatever).
For some reason, a lot of medical professionals seem invested in the idea that patient’s don’t make “good lifestyle choices” because we’re lazy - despite the fact that this makes no sense. There’s no logical basis for this assumption. Yet I see this idea everywhere. As if someone was really, really trying to convince us that other people have poor health because of “poor lifestyle choices” that they could change but simply choose not to. They have to work really hard at it, though, because most of us are making “poor lifestyle choices” not because we’re lazy idiots, but because capitalism has created a system where we’re forced to make “poor lifestyle choices” in order to meet our basic needs.
I was able to switch careers so I could have better pay and better health insurance. And once I had enough income, I was also able to make lifestyle changes. I was able to afford membership in a dojo so I could do martial arts training (which has been the most effective treament for my symptoms, most of which didn’t respond to any medications). I was also able to afford ridiculously high copays for trying so-called “orphan” drugs that had no generic version available yet. I was also able to afford dozens of specialists appointmnets each year to manage my disorder.
As a person who mananges most of her disorder’s worst symptoms by so-called “lifestyle changes,” I’m constantly told how impressed people are with “my approach” to handling my situation. Yes, people have told me they’re impressed with the fact that I am so willing to make lifestyle choices to benenfit my health. It’s very clear to me that these people don’t understand that most people in the USA aren’t being held back by will at all. They’re willing to make lifestyle changes, but they’re not able to implement them.
As someone who has done “lifestyle choices” -- as someone whose life was literally transformed by “lifestyle choices” -- I know how incredibly difficult it was to do. And you know what? I don’t know a single person in my life who wouldn’t do the same thing.
Notice in my story that I mentioned switching careers. I was able to do that because I graduated with a dual degree. I had the opportunity to change not just jobs, but my entire career path, in order to enter a field that has decent pay and health insurance. I only was able to make “better lifestyle choices” to treat my disorder because I made enough money - and had good enough benefits - to make those changes to begin with.
No matter how difficult it was to implement these changes in my life, I assure you, choosing to do it was easy as soon as I had the opportunity to actually choose to begin with. My life is definitely better because of it. But that being said, I am also keanly aware that money was a prerequisite to these changes. Like I said, I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t make the same choices I did, but I know plenty of people who don’t have those choices at all.
It’s shocking to me how people act as if “good lifestyle choices” are made free of charge. Nobody wants “the easy way out” when it comes to medicine. Nobody wants to put the one body that’s their own at risk just because they’re “too lazy” to do anything else. That’s 100% capitalist propaganda.
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Facts about my Fe3h reincarnation au that may or may not come up in any media but are true nonetheless
They’re all currently either full time students or in the running start program at Sunset Court College (for those who don’t know, running start is a program that lets highschool students take college classes, most participants graduate high school with an associates degree) the vast majority of the cast are 18 at this time, notable exceptions being Lysithea, Cyril, etc.
The group started getting memories back around seven years ago, but each person varies in when it started and what they remember.
Some groups began to form independently as they began talking about the memories. Felix, Dimitri, and Sylvain already knew each other, same with Edelgard and Hubert. They slowly got in touch via friends-of-friends, internet searching, and occasionally seeing someone on the street and screaming “HEY HEY I KNOW YOU!” Obviously the last 3 to be found were Petra, Claude, and Dedue, but they’re here now with full ride scholarships just for existing.
But it all got organized when Byleth ran into Seteth at the college, where they were transferring into the class he was teaching. Seteth was amazed that the vast majority of the group had found each other independently and set up a discord server or some shit for them all!
At the college currently Edelgard is the president of the Queer and Allies club, with Ferdinand as Vice President, Mercedes as Secretary, Hubert as treasurer, and Hilda as Social Media coordinator (as in she runs the official club Instagram and not much else.) at this point the club is half just a front for the reincarnation group as a whole since they make up nearly all the members.
Leonie lost her parents in a car crash when she was nine and was adopted by her soccer coach, Jeralt Eisner. She and Byleth have a sibling rivalry for the ages cause neither of them want to talk about their feelings.
Jeritza works as a TA and tutor at the college and he drives a motorcycle and he and Byleth are dating and it’s great. This is post-verdant wind so Byleth’s memories include killing Jeritza and it broke their heart so now they cherish that boy like nothing else like IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM BYLETH IS GONNA GO APESHIT but also he got his memories back much earlier than everyone else during his parents traumatic divorce and well... at least proper therapy exists in this era.
Lorenz isn’t as repressed and mentally fucked this time so his hair is long from the start and he dresses like a male beauty youtuber, you know the vibe I’m talking about, too much all the time, and he and Ferdie (art hoe vibes only) are notorious for making people stare at them with stupid looks trying to figure out what the fresh fucking hell theyre looking at
Like I mean it. You walk into a room and there’s Lorenz in a fluffy lavender poncho over a waistcoat and a pinstripe button up shirt, with white skinny jeans and platform stripper heels. Neon pink eyeliner wings and no other makeup. Next to him is Ferdie, with fake freckles drawn on and ten pounds of blush RIGHT on the nose, in a horizontal striped cropped t-shirt under an overall-smock-dress thing, with the most obnoxiously ugly socks and canvas sneakers with a sunset painted on them. And a sunflower necklace. Their power overwhelms you. They kill you with a single glare.
It’s so funny cause Sylvain is like... a generic Dude. And he hangs out with those two. Like you get these two just utterly obnoxious fuckers and then... oh here’s a decently normal looking dude with a white hoodie under a light wash denim jacket and ripped jeans and light blue converse. Maybe a beanie. He wears the weirdest sweatshirts tho, you know those ads from tiktok compilations? Yeah he buys from those stores and he always has some new weird hoodie. His favorite is a cream-off-White with cat ears on the hood.
You know who else dresses Super Good? Hilda. She’s an e-girl. It’s great. She posts thirst trap tiktoks and streams on twitch and she’s LOADED. Donates a lot of the money tho.
And Felix is Emo as Fuck.
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LGBT+ Identity in the Time of Mindless Self Indulgence
Mindless Self Indulgence isn’t an act that could have flourished at any other time. The emo/pop punk wave was gathering steam; hip hop was still a novelty one could distinguish themselves from the flock by cribbing. “Random” Invader Zim-style humor was in the decline, while “edgy” no-limits humor was skyrocketing. Nerds hadn’t become the dominant force they are today, but due to the internet and the rise in manga and anime sales in the United States, they were able to access nerdy content much more easily. Youtube was taking off, music piracy was booming, and reliance on both radio and local record-store gatekeepers was at a low for young music fans.
Perhaps most critically, our national understanding of politics and identity at the time, particularly LGBT+ identities, was in a different stage of development than it is today. “Punching up” vs. “punching down” was not a concept that most people considered in their comedy. “It’s just a joke” was more widely accepted as an excuse for transgressive entertainment than it is today. “I’m an equal opportunity hater” was a common refrain.
Early in their career, the band released multiple tracks where Jimmy Urine, a man who was certainly not black, used the n-word. The “Pantyshot” cassingle was a treasured possession among MSI fans, featuring an early song that supposedly lost them a record deal due to being about lusting over a 5 year-old. Little Jimmy Urine sold kisses for a dollar to fans after shows, including to the teenagers. As a whole, the band made punchlines of racial and sexual slurs, rape and child abuse, school shootings, prostitution, drug use, incest, and just about every other taboo under the sun.
The understanding was that none of it was real and that none of it had any real consequences. Calling someone a faggot didn’t matter if we were all in on the joke, that homophobia was stupid. Words were just words. The identity of the speaker didn’t matter so long as their ideology was clear. It was something of an inversion of the way we publicly navigate comedy now, in that their identity determines where on the ladder they are to punch up or down, and the contents of their ideology is of minimal consequence compared to the text of their words. The context of a joke is not a matter of what the audience believes, but of the many complexities of hierarchy that society as a whole believes.
“Who cares?” asks 2008. “It’s just words.”
“How could it not matter?” answers 2018. “Words create culture.”
So LGBT+ identity in the era of Mindless Self Indulgence.
Describing the difference between 2005 and 2018 to young queer people is a source of anxiety for me, because I feel like the old woman talking about how she walked uphill both ways to the library if she wanted to read a book. It’s difficult, however, to put in perspective how quickly the culture around LGBT+ identities has changed. As dangerous as it is for queer kids today, they have much freer access to information about their resources and history than we did, and far greater representation in all forms of media.
When I was a teenager, I was the first person openly LGBT at my school, and my only point of reference for LGBT identities were Rosie O’Donnell and Elton John. There was no “Born This Way” yet, no Halsey and Hayley Kiyoko and Ellen Page, no Troye Sivan and Adam Lambert and Frank Ocean, no Miley Cyrus, no Laverne Cox. There were no empowerment ballads.
Which was fine, because I didn’t want empowerment ballads anyway. I felt disgusting. In reckoning with my LGBT+ identity, I felt small, broken, repulsive, confused, discarded and doomed. I was sickened in my own skin and filled with self-loathing because of my sexual orientation. Sometimes I still am. When I was 15, I drew a map of my heart, and in between the “fields of sexual insecurity” and “possibly irreparable damage” I had written “guilt!” several times and underlined it.
“You’re beautiful” didn’t only feel false, it felt invalidating. I was fiercely defensive of my self-hatred. I was working so hard at it, spending so much time and energy convincing myself I deserved the beating I was giving myself. To this day the barriers I’ve put up against generic bromides persist, and songs like “Scars to Your Beautiful” or “Roar” make me cringe. Maybe someone gets something out of them, but I can only think of the teenagers like me who used that sort of sentiment as fuel for their own self-abuse. I remember once bursting into tears at a “Jesus Loves You” sticker because it served as proof that the whole world was playing a joke on me, telling me that someone so unlovable should have some hope.
It was impossible to internalize that queerness was not dirty, unnatural and loathsome. Any attempt to break that association was drown out by the rest of the messaging we were receiving and our own tried-and-true mental gymnastics. Reassurance could not reach us at the bottom of the well.
At the time, I was obsessed with Mindless Self Indulgence with the kind of all-consuming adoration that only teenagers can possess. I aped frontman Little Jimmy Urine’s fashion, writing slogans across my coats with white tape. “What Do They Know” and “Cocaine and Toupees” were my ringtones, much to my mother’s chagrin. I had catalogues of bootlegs, lovingly sorted and pressed to CD. Mindless Self Indulgence populated my artwork, both in classroom doodles and in art pieces for my portfolio that I labored on for weeks. They were the subject of my college application essay. I met my first love on an MSI forum (which I moderated) and lost a few romantic relationships over my inability to talk about anything else. I owned every shirt. When I was hired on at Barnes & Noble’s music section, I would nominate Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy for the staff recommendation shelf every single week, and whenever it inevitably got recalled to the warehouse for lack of sales, I’d order it right back.
Sometimes my friends and I would go to the mall parking lot at night and blast Mindless Self Indulgence from my car, dancing around the empty lot with our striped stockings, fingerless gloves and Hot Topic trip pants.
This band kept me from killing myself.
“I’m filthy, disgusting, horrible, irredeemable,” we’d say. “People tell us we’re beautiful and we know they’re lying. I’m a freak.”
“Yeah, you’re fucking ugly,” the music said. “So what? So’s everything else. Have some fun with it.”
Despite the fact that Jimmy Urine has never publicly labeled himself with an LGBT identity, we young LGBT MSI fans claimed him as our own. We enshrined the article where he described being sexually attracted to anyone regardless of gender. We imitated and revered his gender fuckery onstage, the skirts, the pink suits and tutus, the eyeliner, his yelping falsetto leaping up from the masculine shouting, the way he danced. We pored over lyrics - that we transcribed ourselves in many cases, through multiple listens and endless debate - for those nuggets of same-sex attraction and gender ambiguity.
“I make a good girl but I make a terrible boy,” went one song. “These things in my pants that we’re all waiting for, I never really knew what that thing down there was used for,” went another. And the most sacred text of all was “Faggot”, off Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy, the most beloved record of the vast majority of hardcore MSI fans.
“I played that shit straight / blowing suckas to the side hopin' I get laid / now everybody knows / no way in hell I can ever live it down”.
Shit was a revelation.
Kitty, the drummer of Mindless Self Indulgence, once said of the band’s LGBT fans that listening to MSI’s music was like vomiting: it hurts at the time, but then you feel better. You got it out. And the band always cultivated their relationship with their LGBT fans. Gay marriage was one of the few political issues they openly took a stance on, in a time when states like my own were amending constitutions to protect themselves from Massachusetts’ same-sex marriages.
Thus, we had a place where we felt simultaneously seen and valued by the band, and unseen amongst the chaos surrounding us. The irreverent humor of the band created a safe space where homosexuality could be disgusting, but so was everything else. There was no shame at an MSI concert. You were listening to a man famed for drinking his own urine sing about whipping his meat out, who cared if you liked to kiss girls? That’s old news. We’re all freaks down here at the bottom of the well.
I’m 28 now, and I don’t know if the kids these days have an equivalent band. I don’t know if there’s a market for it anymore; I’m sure there will always be queer kids who have internalized the awful message that they are inherently unlovable, but I’m not sure if they can’t find more accessible and more inherently positive panaceas. I see mutations of the same style of humor in Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race and in some of the undercurrents of Tumblr’s teen humor. “We’re goblins, trash, garbage babies.”
“Yeah,” my inner child says. “I fucking feel that.”
The paradigm of humor has changed since 2008, at least in my circles, and the reasons for that are manifold, political, social, capitalistic. In many ways, it’s been a good thing: bigotry can be exposed rather than cloaked in excuses. A basic understanding of social inequality is presumed of most audiences. People are responsible for the impact of their words, not the intent. “Equal opportunity hater” is seem for what it is: intellectually lazy and blinkered, the refuge of white guys who don’t want to own up to the fact that some jokes aren’t funny.
But I’ll always have a place in my heart for comedy that meets people where they’re at. Where we’re at isn’t always beautiful or acceptable or healthy, but sometimes it’s the place where we need the laugh most.
#music#personal#lgbt stuff#humor#mindless self indulgence#jimmy urine#sorry guys i can't figure out how to text break
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Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 36
Spoilers, obv.
Well, this was a fucker.
I wrote the following while drunk a few weeks ago.
This is something I only found myself chewing over the way home from drinks in town when I select a Spotify playlist for fist-pumping tracks. And it's mainly stuff like Ram Bam's Black Betty and My Sex Is On Fire or whatever, but it also includes Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire. Which is out of place in such a playlist, but also welcome.
It's a song which came out during the brief period between me becoming someone who bought pop music and someone who was a hardcore metalhead. It's a song I bought, and intensely loved. It's perhaps not a surprise. It's in its deeply unfashionable way, entirely me. A pure burst of reference pop.
It's a gimmick song. A list song. It's a list of events from Joel's life – it gives the impression of building towards the present day, but really is pretty fucking random from across the timeline, selecting stuff as it would occur, a ramble. The song is so sleight to be sarcastic, but it's delivered with a frustration and attack. The words are all meaningfully chosen, with juxtaposition between huge events and trivia equally sang with commitment, but the context is so traditional a frame to be almost dismissive. Yet with this disengagement – and with tricks thrown in to maintain interest from its monotony and add towards a slowly build tension – it builds towards an apocalypse, before backing off to a statement of that is how life feels as it is being lived, and the sense of apocalypse is an illusion, and the real horror is that this will continue ever onwards.
So, I was listening to that, while thinking about this issue, and sort of smiling.
And I can see what drunk me was getting at.
Okay – this is a tricky issue to talk about, as you slice somewhere and its guts come falling out. I've written a lot, but I'm also aware that writing that begs more questions which begs more specific answers. As always with these notes I say "This is a collection of thoughts from the making of the issue, but not comprehensive." Even in one like this where I'm saying a lot, that still holds true. This could have gone on forever. And on and on and on and...
Yeah, you get the point.
Perhaps the most common request from WicDiv fans is “Are we ever going to get a list of all the pantheons?” or, for the more demanding, “are we ever going to get a list of all the gods.” The latter makes me blink, for reasons I'll probably segue into, but we did want to do the former, at least as best as we could within the limitations we've set ourselves.
But also, I always think of the nature of murder and plans stretching across time. “I have been murdering people for hundreds of years” is a cool line, thrown off, never examined. I kinda wanted to examine it, and play with what the human brain does with repetition.
I recall a critique of the brilliant (and highly influential on yours truly) Heavenly Creatures, of the considerable sympathy you hold for the titular teemage murderers despite the horror of the murder on screen. The critique noted that the murder on screen was highly sanitized, and the actual murder had forty-five injuries, over twenty of which were head wounds. So the three or so blows shown in the murder were bad enough. When we're forced to really live with the actuality of what the murder required, to not just hit thrice, but again and again and again and again and again and again and many more times, at which point does any sympathy we have evaporate in the face of the actual reality of the horror of what they did. Murder is ugly.
I found myself thinking of an aside in one of the WW1 episodes of Hardcore History, which describes American reporters sitting in Belgium, watching the German army march past on the first offensive. It's over a million soldiers. The reporters sit in the cafe, and it's instantly astounding. And then it goes on, and the effect deadens a little. And then it becomes almost comic. And then, hours later, when you realise it's taken an entire day for these people to stomp past, it becomes surreal, brains shaking at the sheer size of it. That.
Also, Modern art, especially music, is about an exploration of repetition with minimised variations. Paul Morley's Words And Music posited all pop music as a line from Alvin Lucifer's I Am Talking In A Room to Kylie's Can't Get You Out Of My Head, from which a city emerges. That.
And a lot more – that's a selection of thoughts that went into this. It's idea rich, and frankly there's some stuff which – like any experimental piece – was a surprise for the team itself. We walked away with new stuff in our heads, learned from having a jackboot stomp on a human face across all human history, and what we saw when we juxtapose all these things together. I highly recommend trying the impossible, at least once.
When I first suggested it to Jamie, he was excited. The thought was that it'd be a whole issue, with three panels a page. This would have been an easier task, partially as it would be the only work required in the issue, and also the framing in a wide panel would require more detail, but less total research. In short, you wouldn't have to worry about what people were wearing on their legs in periods with scant research.
That fell by the wayside when I did the tight plotting for the arc. We couldn't afford the space, and I can only imagine what the response to the issue among the anti-this-kind-of-stuff readers if we had.
(The response was exactly what we expected it be, in terms of strong polarisation between The Best WicDiv Thing Evvvvaaa! and those who it had no effect at all, that its non-traditional form of comic narrative was essentially invisible.)
It was a few other things as well – in one way, I just wanted to give Jamie a guitar solo. I think he's the undisputed costume designer of his generation in the American field – even putting aside his work on WicDiv, he's responsible between three of the most influential looks of our time, two of which are going to be everywhere for the next five years at least (Miss Marvel and Captain Marvel being the Everywhere-ers, and Ameican Chavez being one of those period touchstones.) The idea of having half an issue devoted to 128 new and individually reseached character designs is absolutely a mike-drop. No-one's done this. No-one would try to do this. I wanted Jamie's peers to cry at the idea of even considering trying this. Admittedly, this involved Jamie crying doing it, but the cost of doing business.
So yeah – while arrogant and desperately overambitious, especially in the context of a monthly comic book (this is easily as much work as two monthly comics) this is one we're intensely proud of.
I have also promised everyone I will never do it to them again. Because once you've done it once, there's no need to, right?
Okay – let's do this.
Jamie/Matt's Cover
Continuing the theme of the arc in terms of covers of “Persephones” and “Anankes” and “Minervas”, and clearly set up to be a “Hey, here's a new interesting character.”
Babs Tarr Cover
God, Babs is a hell of an artist. As usual, we just asked what she's be interested in, and the Persephone on Bike seemed too good to resist, with the implicit MotorCross Crossover thrills. Wonderful stuff.
Page 1
Cutting this to the bare minimum is always the thing. Enough to treat the characters as iconic as the ones in the present – the three panels with 2/3rds main image is what we use for the vast majority of the traditional transformation, and with small tweaks we keep the same beats.
We'd normally do a LOC CAP or similar in this scene, but that would step on the effect as we start LOC CAP-ing on the next page.
Of course, by now, we know how this scene goes...
PAGE 2-12
I'm not going to go too deep into this, and try and talk about top level thinking and the choices you make when going on this kind of an endeavour, especially when you know that there's no ideal one. History is a mess.
If you want a panel by panel walk through of the periods, I direct you to Twatd's extensive 6000 years of murder. They've also just put it in an ebook for their patreon folk, if you want to throw them some coins. I'll be picking up some various bits of details.
First leg of this fucker was me, basically on my own with the history books and the spreadsheets.
The main part of that was simply positioning each one, for definite. Until now, I've allowed myself some flexibility, based into the nature of the recurrence. I didn't need to know the exact dates until I wrote a story in the period, so I didn't nail them down. As we set up in the first issue, it's every ninety years from the end of the previous pantheon. The Pantheon length varies between 1-3 years, depending how quick the gods die. A 1 year pantheon would be them all dying in two calendar years, and a 3 year one being a very slow one. There's few of them. Most Pantheons are across 3 calendar years (Therefore, a 2 year pantheon). I'd checked I could land a pantheon on 455 earlier, based on the squishiness in these math, but I learned how to actually work a spreadsheet, put the math in, and tweak.
On another bit of the spreadsheet I started doing the other half of the work, which works in parallel (but mostly separate) from the main thrust of history. As in, Ananke's story. Where she is at each point in history, what she learns there and what she's trying. There's some areas where the change in her tactics is quite obvious, and can be discerned from just what's shown in the panel. The ones where it's major but bemusing are likely the ones we'll be delving into in the future – either next issue, the final special or some other point.
Even writing this part was strange, entering the mind of someone who's been working on a project for 6000 years, and the waves of ennui and experimentation and strangeness. How to think like Ananke? It's hard. Every ninety years this thing happens. How she gonna play it this time? You occasionally get WicDiv readers asking “Why doesn't Ananke do X thing?” and this answer she probably gives would be “Yeah, tried it a few times, doesn't work nearly as well as you think it would.”
The biggest problem is choosing the pantheons, and the narrative it's choosing to tell through it. With the big list of pantheon dates the two core questions are...
What's the most culturally influential thing going on in this period that we know about?
How can we get the best global sampling that we can?
The latter is the fucker, because records are bad, and while history isn't written by the winners, history is written by those who write histories or at the least those who make things which historians can find or those historians have bothered to try and find. That warps the options for choices intensely, and often ways which frustrate our desires and choices. The script draft had multiple options for each category, and we chewed them over – there's a page in this month's Image+ which shows some of my notes there. Especially with the super-long-lived cultural empires, we looked opportunities to justifiably use anything other than them to just avoid 3000+ years of alternating between China and Egypt.
(Seriously, of all the many things this project has given me, a better understanding of the physicality of time, both its expanse (as in, HOW LONG HAS EGYPT BEEN THIS CULTURAL CENTER?) and its shortness (It is 66 full-lifetimes between us and the start of this mess. The last page skipping back from 2013 hits the majority of what we think of as history. It's a vertiginous book if you let it get beneath your skin, and we had to.)
Equally, we should unpack “culturally influential.” “Culturally Influential” normally means “invaded and killed a bunchy of other folks and made them take on your culture.” This is mainly a list of cultures who've dominated their locales. This has always been there in WicDiv. The 20th century Pantheon is primarily (though not solely) American. The 19th century one was primarily European. 455 is about the fall of Rome.
I'm not sure if I have to state the obvious: all the choices flow from the nature of WicDiv gods as cultural epiphenomenon (or, if not epiphenomenon, heralds. Or both. Either way, the gods dovetail with the rise of "civilization")
We map the gods to known history. If it's troubling, it's troubling because world history is troubling. And I do find that troubling.
At the same time, the concept of the book also lets us create spaces for possibility. We are showing one god from the period - Persephone. There's another dozen elsewhere. While we've shown some pantheons work with a tight geographical focus (such as the London/UK one) others have sprawled across considerable spaces, covering at least a continent and sometimes more. Some of the pantheons shown in this issue imply that kind of gap, normally signified by Ananke dressed in culturally different garments than the Persephone. Equally, some of the more extremely positioned Persephones are a snapshot that implies that gods can end up that far afield, at least occasionally.
In other words, if we drop a pantheon anywhere on the continent it implies that in some of the pantheon are in areas other than the direct place we're putting them. Steppes People bar one Hunnic one. Africa South of Mali. Most of East Asia, bar China and Japan and one Vietnamese Persephone we squeezed in. A lot of South and North America. We just don't have the history to know what or when to pick, and the relevant reference to draw even if we could.
(The exception we forced was Australia, as we didn't even have a single god on that continent. As such, it was key to show a god on that continent to show that gods could be on that continent and by implication they could in one of the other pantheons.)
The above grates, but this issue was one of a bunch of compromises and decisions. This
There's also an attempt in the Ananke/Persephone pairings to talk about various stories. Sometimes the Persephone prefigures a culture's dominance. Sometimes it prefigures its fall. Sometimes it prefigures an option simply not taken. There is an implicit complexity and ambivalence to what we're showing here, as human history resists easy answers.
The naming is the other major bugbear. After the above choices were made, I spent a clear week going back and forth for a standardised naming system to use. Having one which I felt made sense, I spot the couple of exceptions where it didn't, and flick back entirely the other way. There's been times when the whole thing had generalised “Africa” or “Europe” captions. There was times when I considered not even having any captions at all – but these sacrifice so much in terms of the thrill of the mystery of these names. When (say) “Uruk” turns up it's meaningful and interesting, and losing that seemed a huge cost.
The rules we went with were as followed...
If we want to place this Persephone to a specific locale that exists and I want to specifically set the story in that limited locale, we use that name. (e.g. Athens, Uruk)
If a cultural region exists, and I don't want to tie the story to happening to a specific settlement in it, I use the cultural region (e.g. Egypt). If I want to be a little more specific, we can include geographical detail (e.g. Northern China).
If nothing exists for sure, use pure geography (e.g. The Upper Nile.)
All this also ties into my own knowledge of any areas. Some areas I have more confidence in choosing where to place the implied story. Some, I'd rather step back and be broader. This is based upon the background knowledge in a section. To do otherwise, I'd have to do reading akin to a WicDiv special for every panel in this issue, and as each WicDiv special is basically 6 months work, I'd have to had spent 33 years on this one.
This has one eye on the future – if we ever go back and do stories in WicDiv's history when all this is open, I want as much room to manoeuvre as possible. Do not close stuff off we don't have to, while also leaving enough room for people's imagination to populate the world.
Christ – this is 2500 words already, and I haven't said anything yet. You should see the script. There's actually a page of it which is going to be in the next Image Plus. I was a little reticent, as any one page was either too long or too fragmentory. We included one, which includes a couple of notes in from various levels of the production. The basic structure is that the panel is split between a “What the interaction is between the Ananke and the Persephone” and the “What period is this set in or what choices do we have?” And then there's a mass of conversation, both online and in person, after that. We say that all scripts are conversations, but it was never moreso in this issue.
The main take away from the second half was wanting to give Jamie as much room as possible and cut as many corners as he needed to get through it.
This is Jamie. He's never going to cut any corners.
(There's sections at the start where I suggest doing things like dropping backgrounds entirely and making it symbolic or whatever, but Jamie! That guy. THAT GUY.)
The baton of the workload then passed to Jamie. This is simultaneously a much bigger workload and a significantly different. I was performing a great filter. He was digging into specifics.
To get an idea of the scale of this, hired a costume researcher for this for a week of solid work, and they managed to do about a quarter of the periods, and even then not completely. The rest were done by Jamie and Katie as they proceeded through the issues.
Our costumes and choices are most conservative in the periods we know least about, and are normally excused by “if we don't do this, we miss this culture out entirely.” The further back we went, the harder it was, but even that isn't on a level playing field. When we get past the history and into the quasi-myth it also becomes tricky. It's just tricky.
As this was all only completed right up against the hard deadline, it also left barely any time to actually do the level of due diligence we wanted. We were expecting that we'd have stumbled over something accidentally mortifyingly offensive by accident in terms of colour choices or something else easy to stumble over, but the surprise is that there's been relatively little about that. We were expecting to have to do a bunch of tweaking when we come to the trade, and just mea culpa. In fact, there's only a handful of things to tweak – one place name which, after due consideration, I think I'll change and one architectural mishap. Frankly, this is much better than we were thinking, though I guess there's time for more stuff to be spotted.
Right – let's do a quick tour through the pages, with me pulling out bits and pieces which spring to mind.
Page 3 – still dealing with regions-rather-than-places, with Uruk being a side-step. Also sets up the rhythm of things staying the same and then things changing – as in, repetition enough to let people know there's a pattern, then a subversion. As it's the opening, the pattern is pretty obvious – straight murder until a Persephone gets wise and fights back, and then a change of tactics. Er... I'm not going to go in detail on this stuff from now, as that's reading the bloody comic for you, and I'm not one of those comic reviewers who just do a synopsis of the comic and sticking a 7/10 at the bottom. Even when I was a critic, I was the type to write a synopsis and stick a 6/10 at the bottom as I was a big ol' meanie.
The thing which most strikes me as sad about the research is that any headwear is a total waste. Man! Decapitation is the worst.
Page 4 – Japan 2942BC is one of my fave Persephone looks. I also like Ananke Northern China.
Yes, the “Crete” one is very clearly a “Wait – what happened here?” one. More anon.
Page 5 – Watching Ananke across this period is the interesting one.
Wrangel Island is one of my favourite historical things, in that it's the last place Mammoths were alive on Earth, around this period. There's a story I've wanted to do that is set this period. Maybe one day I will. I want to do it as an OGN, but part of me thinks it's actually a 5 page short story.
Egypt shows the arrival of the Pyramids here – architecture in backgrounds is one of the trickier things we had to deal with, but something that big and iconic is hard to resist. This was one of the problems culturally speaking – that there's many cultures we couldn't get good (or any) reference for their houses, so they tended to be put in rural/wooded situations, which carries an implication we weren't fond of. Occasionally we pushed it as far as we dared with simple housing to avoid that.
Man, I love the movement Jamie does in the middle two panels – plus the treatment of colour from Matt. That's actually worth stressing – I said it was a huge amount of work for Jamie? It's equally hilarious for Matt. He normally gets to set up a palette on a scene, and then carries it to other panels. Here, he has to reinvent it every single time. Stuff like the transitions from Egypt to Wrangel Island is dazzling.
Page 6
I resisted the Druidic one for a while – the earlier Western Europe one too – but they were both also (I think) Egypt ones. Basically everything here which is us going “We can use this for another locale” is taking out an Egypt or a China. Egypt and China have done so much stuff, guys. It's kinda scary.
Australasia is clearly one where we played it particularly tight – by definition, Ananke will have travelled here, and we minimise as much of Persephone's clothes due to not knowing for sure what people would wear in the period.
Page 7
Honestly, with out own interest in decapitated head, we were hardly going to resist the Olmec heads, right?
I like the implication of the story with the Egypt one here. You can see Ananke taking the Persephone all the way beneath the surface for this scene.
Page 8
Any time I look at the Assyrians I think of taking my friend Sarah Jaffe – not someone who is into ancient history – around the British Museum. When passing through the Assyrian display, I tried to work out how to sum up the Assyrians. I ended up with “The Assyrians... well, the Assyrians were tossers.” I may have used a stronger word than “Tosser.”
How do we know this? They spent a lot of time carving pictures of how much a tosser they were, just so we all know thousands of years later.
I find myself wondering what looks Ananke most liked? Does she look back fondly at certain periods? Almost certainly.
Page 9
It's around this point the sheer size of ancient history starts to get to you. Especially in the earlier Egypt/China-duopoly drafts it was like being punched in the face. It goes on and on and on and on. Which is the effect we were looking for, of course.
I kinda wished I could find somewhere other than Macedonia to do this one, but I couldn't find anything that made sense.
Eturia is one of those implied-other-story ones. This is near Rome, but not Rome. Eturian culture was significantly different from Rome, and you wonder what a more Eturian influenced Roman culture could have been like. I mainly ramble by way of example in my thinking for some of these.
Page 10
Yes, I smiled at Judea. Into the AD!
The South East Asia one is Vietnamese, and one of the ones we had least to draw off, but when there was so many East Asia pantheons, having them all be China and Japan felt worse than doing one with minimal sources.
The Eastern Europe one is my one complete fuck up when scripting this – it was originally the Hunnic invasion of India, with Persephone as a Hun. Except I had just read a number wrong, and the Hunnic Invasion of India was a century later, at a similar time to the Fall Of Rome Pantheon. A quick last minute panic kept it as Steppes People, and just had it out there, in the regions were the Huns were pre most of this, foreshadowing.
454 is earlier in the Fall Of Rome special. One of my reads in my research on that one was that Roman failure to integrate Germanic peoples into the empire to rejuvenate it (as they had with previous migrant groups) was one of the prime causes for the western fall, so this seemed a symbolic way to go. And look at the dappling!
Page 11
Tikal is the one I'll tweak. That's a more modern name. I'll likely tweak to Yax Mutal in the trade.
The Constantinople panel is the architectural problem – that Hagia Sophia look is simply from a much later period.
The acting in the first four panels are basically my favourite thing in the whole issue. Yes, the fourth one is “that time with the Franks” as referenced earlier in this arc.
I did try to tweak numbers and end up with a 999 pantheon, but couldn't make it land, and I decided that the Nun Lucifer story would work better later, circa the Black Death. As such, doing a millennial pantheon this far from the AD timeline appealed. And look at the fashion!
Page 12
The next special is 1373, so close to the fourth panel here. More to come, etc.
First two panels are the Crusades, mirroring one another.
Page 13
When planning this originally, I thought 60 pantheons. I then failed to realise I did the math wrong, and if I started close to 4000BC, it'd be 66 pantheons – so we'd need 11 pages. I did have a draft with a slightly longer start, but I realised that I couldn't afford another page, when I had a lot of work to do in the latter half of the issue.
I also realised that it's not 66, as the first one is actually the one we saw in 34, which is by definition, not in this sequence. Which left us one panel at the end. We played with various options, but calling back to a sequence from issue 9 seemed a good move. It's a scene which, of course, reads differently now.
These are the most familiar pantheons, of course.
Page 14
Interstitial, a nod to the Kanye track. I originally had this as the interstitial at the end of last issue, but felt that it contextualised Baal in a crass and deceptive way, and made it more likely to be taken as literally without any nuance. By placing it between these two horror stories, applying the word to both Ananke/Minerva and Baal, there's more space to think about it.
Page 15
I normally do a tight synopsis for the whole arc before starting. I did for this arc, and it actually expands to next arc too. However, these always change. When I reached this issue, especially when I realised it would be 12 of the 20 pages, I did some reworking of plot threads, moving a couple of other beats either to a teaser for next issue or just to next issue – as next issue is one with much more space available for present day stuff.
I did it as basically Baal's origin (there's no other word for it – Baal is a classic superhero origin story, as pure as Spider-man's) requires the space. He's earned it.
Still – as there is one other key thing which needs space, the question how to approach it was there. The final choice was minimalistic and cleanly. Three panels here, into the flashback. Red colouring. Baal's colours now.
Flame fade out to flashback, ala all performance-storytelling we've seen so far. As in, Gods' signature segues to flashback.
Page 16-17
I love what Matt is doing here with texture and shape. It makes everything feels alive, like ornamental, pushing against Jamie's art. It's like a mural, it's art.
Not a back garden but a playpark. I imagine Baal on the way home, crossing across here, meeting the lady and...
2 page scene. This needs space, in its own way.
Page 18-19
A spread, but this is effectively one page in terms of page use. Trying to get as much story as we can from the limited page count available. This is almost all Star Superman in cutting to the basics – a single image showing a fragment of the fight, and one of Baal's line.
More red. You see where we're going, as it's building up.
“that night, I did it” just made me shiver.
Page 20-22
We talked about various approaches to this – on a single page. but we chose to burn pages. As always, these are free, and don't come from the page count of the issue. In this case, it lets us dwell on it, and hit it again and again.
Page 23-24
And a segue out, back into reality. This is where we crunch the details we feel people need to know.
Of course, this is why Baal has always taken the Great Darkness more seriously – not least he knows what he has to do if the Great Darkness isn't dealt with before another three months ticks over. You can probably chew over yourself how much is him believing it's saving the world and how much he believes it's just saving his family. I don't think you have to choose one or another.
“You don't need to know” is a very WicDiv choice, isn't it?
It's one of the things which is there, but never stressed – Baal, for all his bluster, has never won a fight in all of WicDiv, when actually fighting against someone who fights back. Here's the reason.
It's worth noting Baal had the necklace, at least occasionally, before issue 4 of WicDiv. Woden is completing it as he hands it back. As in, it's been tuned up for a while – obviously it needs to be completed with what Ananke suspected may be coming with Lucifer. Er... this is probably too much to say here? It just occurred. It's the sort of stuff we chew over.
I suspect “I want to die/but I want to live” is one of those axis which WicDiv is built around? I found it upsetting to write, which is normally a tell.
Page 25
I said this when asked about the pregnancy plot when the issue came out...
Thanks for your faith, but I understand cynicism. It’s not as if there’s much track record for media doing this well. I’ll probably write a little more about it in the writers notes - I just deleted a paragraph here as I want to chew over my exact wording carefully. The short version is, like everything we do, we take it intensely seriously and we didn’t go here lightly. I also have faith in the readers unpacking it and making their own sense of it as we continue - I think Pomegranate’s take is basically the best sort of response we could have hoped for at this point, really.
… and after chewing it over, I don't think there's much I can add to it, really. Further into WicDiv I'm sure I will, but it's too connected to everything, and any explanation just leads to questions I can't answer yet.
I do wish I had slightly more space here to push the pause as Baal chewed it over longer.
Page 26
The idea that Baal would burn down Valhalla only struck me as I was writing this sequence. Of course he would. It just made sense.
This is a great example of Jamie being an amazing storyteller. I put her outside, and Jamie asked questions about how far, what would be nearby and so on. So we end up with an image which grounds this melodrama back to reality, hard. We see this godly palace burn sown from a simple London street. The movement between the two worlds. And morning. This is real. We wake up.
Also – Matt follows him. After the mythic colouring we've seen earlier, here we have this very normal, very real dawn. He's wonderful.
Worth noting there is a considerable time skip. By implication, Baal's performance lasted much longer than it took to read.
Mildly frustrated the issue printed a little dark, so the message was nearly unreadable, and was missed as the cliffhanger it is. Namely, a message from someone (I suspect many will guess who) catching up on the nights events... and The Norns being locked up again after Cass has said stuff?
In the original draft for the text I used the phrase “Sectioned” but was informed it's something which wouldn't make sense for a North American audience. I suspect I'll tweak again to get a cleaner message out.
Anyway – mildly frustrated the information doesn't 100% land here, but next issue goes at it running.
Page 27
I wanted a simple title here. It's Baal's story.
And that's it. God knows how much I'll edit out of this mess. The next issue is out tomorrow, and hopefully you'll find it interesting.
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A User’s Guide to the Abhorrent Heavens
A User’s Guide to the Abhorrent Heavens -- An Essay for Bloodlines & Black Magic
“The key difference between any one of the Abhorrent Heavens and the very foulest churning pit of the deep Infernal is subtle but distinct: within an Abhorrent Heaven, one person is having a wonderful time. These grotesque realms, home to souls perfectly selected by their mistress for obsession and malice, are obscene in the extreme. On the surface, some of these blood-splattered abattoirs may appear as 1950s suburbs or modern-era cities, but all merely hide the hunger of a psychotic spree-killer finally unleashed from all consideration of consequences.”
-- Bloodlines & Black Magic, pg. 204
Your players don’t stand a chance against the Grand Archons.
Not directly, anyway.
After all, the Invisible Masters of Heaven & Earth have been putting down titans, would-be messiahs, world-shaking Goetic monstrosities, rebellious Bloodlines, sorcerous god-kings, charismatic serpent-cults & upstart wizards since before time had a name ... or so they say.
In most cases, of course, the Grand Archons don’t even have to respond to a threat directly: the exact moment when someone dumb starts making enough noise that rumors of the Invisible World begin reaching mundane ears, Yasazziel the Grand Archon of Glittering Things & Earthly Delights simply opens a gateway from our reality into one of her many Abhorrent Heavens & lets-loose one of her grateful, loyal servants to play dirty for a little while.
What happens next is, simply put, utterly unspeakable.
Brought to you absolutely free to play, to test & to share, as always, by the fine folks of my Patreon.
Additional content contributed by Blaine Bass of ScrapFinder and by Sam Berry; hugest of thanks to the Broken Token for editing assistance
photography by Boomer; digital editing by Tim Jenkins of Battle! Studio
SO ...
Maybe you’re starting a brand new Bloodlines & Black Magic campaign from scratch, and you’re looking for a unique way to kick things off with a real bang.
Maybe you’ve just ended a long, complex story-arc a little bit early, without all of the mysteries completely solved; maybe you can’t quite jump into the next chapter of your narrative until the PCs achieve a certain slightly higher level or meet a specific NPC or learn a particular secret; maybe only half of your players showed up to this session and you need a quick “filler” episode.
Maybe your PCs befriended & adopted the Godzilla, shunted the Terminator to the Deepest Astral, had the Voldemort removed from public office in perp-walked, handcuffed & humiliating disgrace or otherwise drove your campaign’s entire plot-arc so far off the frigging rails that you suddenly find yourself needing a few extra weeks to re-orient your entire game from first principles.
Whatever the reason, you require a brand new plot hook on the fly, and – simply due to the setting-assumptions of the Bloodlines & Black Magic universe! – a classic sword-&-sorcery fantasy plotline like “goblins attack the village” or “the princess is secretly a werewolf” or “foolish local knights go questing for the Vast Horror” simply won’t cut it.
No sweat, friend. We’ve got you covered.
In such an instance, the creaking & blood-spattered gates of the Abhorrent Heavens swinging wide into our own realm should provide more than ample fuel for your dark, strange fire.
original image from here
Plot Hooks (Pick from the list below, or Roll 1d10):
The PCs show up to a meeting with an important contact (or group of contacts) only to discover that everyone is dead or missing. Should any word of this discovery be made public, of course, the PCs are the most obvious suspects for mundane law-enforcement agencies to pursue. As their quick & panicked investigation unfolds, it becomes clear to the PCs that this was an extermination ordered by the Seven of Secret Names ... and that whatever was unleashed from an Abhorrent Heaven is now on their trail, looking to complete its mysterious mission and to have itself some slick red fun while doing so.
An old mentor of a PC is requesting help & offering sky-high payment: something is after him, and it’s rapidly chewing through every emergency defense he’s built-up over the last few decades. Upon closer examination, however, it becomes clear to the PCs that what’s after this particular occultist isn’t just a pissed-off Goetic spirit or some random undead manifestation: it’s a creature of the Abhorrent Heavens, released directly by the Archons to mete out justice in their name. Do the PCs continue to intervene, and risk angering the Grand Sisters directly?
The PCs are contacted obliquely by Jackie Ipanema (see below) or by another favored servant of the Archons who spends a lot of time outside of his Abhorrent Heaven on “real world clean-up”; this contact is polite & non-threatening in the extreme. This potent soldier of the Grand Archons needs a small favor: he maintains multiple false identities in the real world, and several of these identities have been invited (for mysterious reasons) to attend the same fancy dinner party at a secluded woodland mansion at the same time; of course, this is probably a trap. Can the PCs take on these roles & solve the mystery?
A bit of casual, routine investigation into an old “haunted house” in a remote farming community with a vaguely sinister reputation reveals the existence of a poorly-locked and seemingly unguarded portal sitting in the attic, marked only with some eerie chalk-lines. This hole in space-time leads directly into a previously unknown Abhorrent Heaven, full of thousands of fearful damned who are preyed-upon by a mysterious figure of terrifying power ... one who has (apparently) been used very quietly by the Seven of Secret Names on rare occasions to take out major targets. Do the PCs dare to explore this realm? Seal it & guard it? Profit from it?
The estate-sale of a wealthy & enigmatic amateur-dabbler in the dark arts turns up a “Dantean Codex”: a log-book detailing various entrances into an assortment of Abhorrent Heavens scattered across the US & Europe. 90% of the book is useless gibberish, of course ... but the parts that are real are literally invaluable: the sort of things that powerful Lineages kill & die for, or that make legends out of dilettantes. Problem is, the text ALSO represents the most deeply forbidden kind of occult knowledge; mere knowledge of its existence is punishable by death at the hands of the Archons & their servants. Where do you even hide such information?
An enterprising & clever young crew of magicians are playing with hell-fire itself: aping the legendary power inherent to the Invisible City of the Tianlong Dynasty -- Bloodlines & Black Magic, pg. 53 -- they’ve cracked their way into an Abhorrent Heaven with multiple exits back into the real world, and are using this otherworldly realm as a “secret level” to allow for quick, untraceable transportation between cities & across the globe. Every trip risks attracting the attention of the realm’s dark master ... and when these boys get caught, things are going to get very ugly very fast. Can the PCs shut down this mad plan?
The death of a famous & well-loved occultist reveals, hidden amongst the notes in his possession, that he was a MAJOR contact for the Archons: selling out other magicians for personal gain, setting up his friends & his enemies alike to be taken out by their purges, and often profiting directly from executions performed in the name of the Archons, all in the hopes that he would -- in death -- finally be granted the playground of his own Abhorrent Heaven in recompense. Worse, he names a close & trusted ally of the PCs as his longtime accomplice (or even mentor) in these double-deals. Who can the PCs trust?
The PCs are contacted by a powerful, underground circle of mages who think they have a real shot at taking-out one particularly nasty servant of the Archons, potentially crippling it -- like the famed Revered was pulled-down a peg -- or even killing it outright. If the PCs can bait the thing into a particular emotionally-significant, magically-potent location at a particular numerologically-consequential time -- and with all of the attendant esoteric magical formulae properly in-place to secure a full-on Occult Connection with the ritual casters -- then the PCs will have a front-row seat to watch something nearly unknown to modern arcanists, along with an exclusive invite to join the crème de la crème of international occult society. Of course, they’ll have to survive the fight ... and it might all be a trap laid by Nannareal, the Grand Archon of Secrets and Whispers.
An urgent call from an old friend of one of the PCs sends them down a dark alley with their associate in a strangely familiar location. Their sense of eerie déjà vu grows as they round a corner ... only to watch as a horrid creature lashes-out of the darkness and butchers their friend before their eyes, then vanishes into the night. Familiarity shattered, the PCs find themselves in an ever-shifting Abhorrent Heaven drawn from their own memories, locked into a game of cat-and-mouse that has gone on for centuries. When the PCs finally track down the monster and avenge their buddy, their sense of foreboding grows: this creature was not the master of any Abhorrent Heaven, merely a trapped plaything like themselves; soon after, another supernaturally-gifted foe is lured into the concrete jungle to start the hunt again. There’s a way out, of course ... but the voyeuristic occupant of this Abhorrent Heaven, a stalker obsessed with the vicarious thrill of predators & prey making war, isn’t talking.
Rumors start popping up -- with increasing & frightening regularity, and an uncanny level of detail -- about an ancient artifact resurfacing: a lost blade of Goetic Titan-craft that serves as a bane weapon against any creature tied to an Abhorrent Heaven. While the Archons & their servants scramble to kill-off anyone with anything resembling proof of this blade’s existence, the PCs are contacted by an old associate who claims to have located the thing ... as he requests extraction from a war-zone.
Uncountable Abhorrent Heavens ... and their Occupants
No one knows exactly how many Abhorrent Heavens there really are.
Or, more accurately, Yasazziel the Grand Archon of Glittering Things & Earthly Delights knows ... but she’s not talking.
Or, more accurately still, Yasazziel is talking all the damn time. It’s just that nobody can quite tell what she actually means by whatever she says.
In any instance, there are innumerable Abhorrent Heavens -- glittering like dark jewels, smoking with thin coils of screams & ghost-iron -- tucked away into obscure corners of the Celestial Realm, forever waiting to be opened-up whenever it amuses Yasazziel to unwrap & caress them.
Each one is sort of halfway between a prized Pokemon & a reverse Darklord of Ravenloft: each occupant is an utterly unique dick-in-a-box, sure ... but they love every minute of it, "bound" to their realm only so much as is required to keep them equal-parts amused & dangerous, all so that they can be taken out to straight-up murder people whenever their mistress desires.
Below are two of them.
Jackie: a Signature Soul of an Abhorrent Heaven
So ... you need a unique & scary monster, the sort of creature that Yasazziel the Grand Archon of Glittering Things & Earthly Delights would happily uncage & send after a troublemaker? Jackie Ipanema can, with only slight alteration, be used to fill exactly that role ... in much the same way that Canio de Pogo, Happy Muurvaerid and Khakissandra Ayla, the Foul Wish Granted can -- in a pinch! -- serve as interesting quick-&-dirty Goetic monsters.
image from here
Within the Bloodlines & Black Magic setting, Jackie’s ties to Zon-Kuthon are placed with service to Yasazziel the Grand Archon of Glittering Things & Earthly Delights.
ODDITIES:
If a character’s Threshold increases to an odd number from direct exposure to the presence (or the power) of Jackie Ipanema, she may gain one of the following Oddities (roll 1d10):
You can never again “spark” an object: you can’t turn on a stove or start a microwave, lighters that you try to use fail to ignite, cars you try to start won’t turn over, flicking a light-switch produces no effect, you can’t get a cellphone to turn on by pressing the button, and bullets or cartridges don’t go off when you squeeze the trigger on a firearm. You add quench as a 1st-level spell known to any one spell-list you possess; use of this special spell also extinguishes light bulbs, flashlights, chemical light-sticks and other simple, cheap devices that heat up, produce illumination and that can “burn out”. Use of this spell does not affect cars, cellphones, computers or other more complex electrical objects (such as firearms) used by opponents.
Your appearance becomes subtly creepy, and you remind everyone you meet of a dead person (either a specific dead person they have seen or a generic corpse, as appropriate). This affects your look, your voice, your scent and even the non-verbal sounds and movements you make; you suffer a penalty equal to twice your hit dice on all Charisma-based skill checks & ability checks except Intimidate. Once per day, you may choose, as a free action, to activate the Unnerving Gaze ability of an evangelist kyton, Will save negates (DC 10 + 1/2 your hit dice + your Charisma modifier); this ability last for 10 minutes or until you voluntarily end the effect as another free action.
You add bullet shield as a 1st-level spell known to any one spell-list you possess. This special spell may only be cast while you are in an area of dim or lower lighting, and a spell effect created by you in this way is suppressed -- as if in the area of an antimagic field -- while you or the target of the spell are in any area of normal or brighter light.
While in an area of dim or lower lighting, you are always considered to have a running start when jumping; you also add your character level (max +7) as a bonus on all Acrobatics checks to jump. You are fatigued while in an area of bright light and exhausted while in direct sunlight.
You gain light blindness. In addition, once per day as a free action you may choose to see through mist and fog (including fog cloud and similar magic) as if they did not exist. In areas of moderate or stronger wind, while this ability is in effect, you can also see as if you were standing at both your own position and a position a number of feet in the wind’s direction equal to the wind’s speed in miles per hour, potentially allowing you to see around corners and other obstacles. This ability lasts for 10 minutes or until you voluntarily end the effect as another free action.
As long as you are humming the song Girl From Ipanema to yourself (which applies a -10 penalty to all Stealth checks based on sound), you are immune to fear and to non-lethal damage.
You can never again “spark” an object, as per the first result above. While in an area of dim or lower lighting, you gain full use of Exotic Weapon Proficiency: spiked chain and Weapon Finesse. If you normally possess either of these abilities, you instead gain one of the following for each feat that you already possess: Improved Initiative, Lunge, Power Attack. You gain these abilities even if you do not otherwise meet the prerequisites.
While in an area of dim or lower lighting, you gain damage reduction 5/silver or good and immunity to cold. You gain vulnerability to fire while in an area of bright light and are nauseated while in direct sunlight.
You gain an overwhelming scent of rust and old metal; all opponents within 30 feet may freely detect you purely by sense of smell. If you are upwind, the range increases to 60 feet; if downwind, it drops to 15 feet. Your exact location is not revealed, only your presence within range and the general direction toward you. When you are within 5 feet of any creature with a sense of smell, that creature automatically pinpoints your location even if otherwise blinded to you. You may also be tracked by your smell: any creature may attempt to follow from where you have been by making a Wisdom (or Survival) check to trace your movements and current whereabouts, even if you possess the trackless step ability. The typical DC for smelling you out is 10; this DC increases by 2 for each hour since you departed the area. This otherwise follows the rules for the Survival skill. At will as a standard action, while you are in an area of dim or lower lighting and are not wearing any other armor, you may cause wickedly-hooked, barbed & razor-edged chains to sprout from your body, providing a +4 armor bonus. These otherworldly chains are not treated as armor for the purpose of spell failure, armor check penalties, maximum Dexterity, weight, or proficiency. These chains persist for ten minutes or until you voluntarily end the effect as a free action. If you already possess a strong scent, such as because you possess the third Oddity result from the Reverend of Razored Witch-Pyres, re-roll.
Roll 1d8+1 twice, keeping both results. If you gain the same result for both rolls, re-roll one of the dice.
Mr. Liu, the Cryptic Policeman, Secret Saint of Hong Kong (CR 13)
Those who speak with Mr. Liu on the telephone -- or correspond with the “man” via text or email -- universally find him charming, disarming and erudite in the extreme, with a remarkable wit; he has a refined British accent, exceptional knowledge of Chinese history, and he is obviously a highly-educated & well-traveled man: most likely from a fantastically-wealthy family of lawyers, college professors, international investors and physicians.
He often goes by Peter, Peyton or Penley; he comes off as a librarian, scholar or antiquarian ... although those who correspond with him quite frequently often begin to suspect that Mr. Liu might actually work for some type of clandestine, highly-discreet governmental organization.
That suspicion is partially correct.
Amongst those in-the-know, the Cryptic Policeman is a terrifying urban legend: the sort of ghostly creature who makes high-ranking members of the Tianlong Dynasty whisper a quick prayer & glance nervously over their shoulder.
Mr. Liu, the Cryptic Policeman, Secret Saint of Hong Kong, The No-Shadow Dragon, has never been seen. He is, in fact, invisible … save for a wide, toothy grin and the occasional flash of a bladed finger slipping through shrieking flesh. Despite this, Mr. Liu desires notoriety more than anything: he lusts for the perfection of his brutal art, wanting to be sought and never found, craving -- above all else! -- a eternal, profane and inverted game of cat and mouse: his Abhorrent Heaven is a bloody & endless game of hide-and-seek in the deep city, where he slays his pursuers and taunts the yet-unslain with riddles, poetry, bizarre word-puzzles and coded messages.
His identity is well known: he is considered one of the earliest recorded serial killers. In the 2nd century BC, there was a dragon-blooded Han prince, Liu Pengli, who ruled a small region in what would eventually become China. He was bloodthirsty and cruel, and led hunting parties made up of slaves and fugitives. At first they would kill indiscriminately, robbing and slaughtering the innocent and defenseless. After a time, though, Liu used these expeditions as opportunities to isolate and murder the strongest and most clever among his own men: he used misdirection & trickery to blame the deaths on the innocent and further the bloodshed. Eventually, he gained a taste for those with occult power in their blood, and targeted them specifically ... no longer killing the innocent, but instead hunting criminals, cultists, demon-summoners and rival murders, bringing a dark order to his province with his own hands.
While he wanted to get away with his crimes, Liu Pengli also wanted someone -- anyone, everyone -- to know how clever he was: how perfect a predator he had become. He had over 100 known victims, and far more unknown; soon, Liu Pengli began to announce the deaths of criminals & witches with messengers in every town, making known their deaths and his art ... even if he couldn't receive full credit for his lethal ingenuity. Eventually, this hunter of humans & magicians alike was brought before the Emperor, and he voluntarily stood for justice.
The Emperor, being his uncle, could not bring himself to execute the prince; thus, he reduced Liu Pengli in status, making him equal with those whom he had hunted & slain: Liu Pengli was stripped of his rank & title, made into a commoner, a no-one. The emperor exiled his nephew after making him anonymous, and sent him out of the kingdom to become a stranger in strange lands.
Liu Pengli couldn't help but smile.
It isn't known precisely when Liu Pengli actually died, nor how many he killed after being banished, but what is known is that before the 3rd century, he had been granted an Abhorrent Heaven of his own. Ever since, the occasional brutal murder of some poor bloke with a Bloodline is attributed to him, especially if a coded message is left behind.
Only two instances of prolonged activity are confirmed:
In London in the late 1800s, a powerful coven which owed fealty to the Goetic spirit of lust, Asmodeus, was all-but-openly active: conducting the dark rites of their cult under the thin guise of prostitution. The exact goals of their rituals are uncertain, but most likely these practitioners sought to magnify the influence of their patron-spirit in the material world, or to somehow otherwise threaten the power of the Archons ... because in 1888, the Cryptic Policeman was released from his Abhorrent Heaven to stalk & slay the Infernal-blooded priestesses. For three years the Policeman shadowed the five priestesses of Asmodeus's inner pentacle, with brief skirmishes slowed only by wards and fetishes which made it clear that the priestesses knew what hunted them. They attempted to replace lost members and complete the ritual, but failed ... as, one by one, they were hunted down, killed and mutilated in brutal fashion: sending a clear message from the Archons to those in the Secret World; lust is not to be flaunted. Mundane law enforcement never discovered evidence of the true killer, though the Cryptic taunted them through letters, using coded phrases and metaphor designed to communicate with the Invisible through the press, hinting that he was 'from hell'. The police never decoded the cipher, though those steeped in the occult could see it plain as day. He wanted to be unseen in his art, but credited for his achievement. Once his task was accomplished, the Archons spirited him back to his boundless cage.
Later, the Cryptic Policeman would be deployed again, loosed for nearly ten years at the very edge of the New World. From the late 1960s to the early 1970s, on the American West Coast, for unknown reasons the Fey bloodline began passing through love: granting power both to those born with the blood, and to those beloved by the blood. This allowed the power & influence of several new-born Lineages to grow rapidly, and threatened to destabilize the balance of power within the region. While most of these Fey-Blooded had no knowledge of their own power, or the significance of their acts, the Archons do not judge slights by intent. The Cryptic Policeman was released, and again stalked his prey methodically -- often for months -- waiting until he was certain that they had the potential to pass their power, and then brutally murdering both once the power was passed. Ever the artist, the Cryptic again taunted law enforcement with letters, this time encoded in a clear cypher. Once the code was cracked, he had the captive audience he sought: most watching the papers in horror, some in awe as he practiced his visceral art. Once the Fey outbreak was contained, his performance was cut short: with an unseen & shadow-less bow, Liu Pengli was again dragged back into his brutal paradise.
image from here
The Cryptic Policeman is a lawful evil invisible stalker (CR 7) with the Half Dragon template (+2 CR), the Gunsmoke-Blessed Creature template (+1 CR) [see Bloodline & Black Magic, pg. 161], the War Machine template (+3 CR) and the Lifespark Construct template (+1 CR).
Because the Cryptic Policeman possesses the Lifespark Construct template, his Intelligence is not reduced by the application of the War Machine template.
Whenever the Cryptic Policeman deals damage to a living creature with any of his natural melee attacks, his wide & toothy smile very briefly becomes visible. This does not negate his bonuses to Stealth from invisibility, as his eerie smile is disconnected from his body: often appearing two to three feet away from the Cryptic Policeman’s actual face, as per a combination of blink & displacement.
The Cryptic Policeman may choose to suppress his natural invisibility & is in possession of a greater hat of disguise; he may choose to appear as a normal human whenever he desires.
Using the Cryptic Policeman:
If a character's threshold increases to an odd number from direct exposure to the presence (or power) of the Cryptic Policeman, she may gain one of the following oddities (roll 1d8)
You begin compulsively smiling whenever you deal damage that sheds blood. You may choose to a cause a living opponent to bleed whenever you deal melee slashing damage; your attack may cause an opponent to suffer 1 additional point of damage each round for each level you possess (for example, if you are a 5th level character, you may cause you opponent to suffer up to 5 points of bleed each round). This bleeding can be stopped by a DC 15 Heal check or the application of any effect that heals hit point damage. Bleeding damage from this ability does not stack with itself; bleeding damage bypasses any damage reduction the target might possess. Each time this bleeding damage is inflicted, you suffer one half that amount of damage (non-lethal damage, rounded up) as your uncontrollable grin begins to ache, twitch & burn.
You can see through your own eyelids, and have a difficult time sleeping. You may make sight-based Perception checks with your eyes closed, but are always fatigued for the first four hours after waking or until you have had at least two cups of coffee.
Whenever you write anything, you involuntarily pepper the page with strange runes and sigils which you don't recall writing ... or know the meaning of.
You gain full knowledge either Draconic or ancient Chinese (your choice).
Whenever you speak face-to-face with an unfamiliar, non-related individual for more than a few minutes, small scratch-marks and cuts as if from from fingernails form on your arms and face. This is actually a great way to tell if you’re actually talking to someone you already know (who might be in disguise).
Whenever you hold anything that could be used as a slashing weapon, your hand grips it until your knuckles whiten. You are incapable of holding such an object loosely, though you may put it down without difficulty. You gain a +2 bonus on all Disarm attempts made against you.
You may make Linguistics checks untrained. Whenever you encounter a language or writing which you do not understand, you feel distracted and are considered shaken while within 10 ft. of such script.
Roll 1d6+1 twice, keeping both results. If you gain the same result for both rolls, re-roll one of the dice.
PLOT HOOKS (pick from the list or roll 1d8)
A new string of killings has begun in a local metropolis, and they seem to be imitating the ciphered letters of the Zodiac Killer. Although the new cipher has yet to be decoded, it uses the characters of a hidden & secret language. The Cryptic Policeman has, perhaps, inspired a copycat ... or an acolyte. Or a rival, calling him out to face vengeance.
A potent young Dragon-Blooded sorcerer with a warm, charming smile has discovered that amongst his ancestors sits Liu Pengli; the brash magician is now attempting to become a host for the Cryptic Policeman’s ancient power for the express purpose of taking revenge on a rival ... but he risks unknowingly allowing the Cryptic Policemen to walk the earth again, unfettered by the Archon's cage.
Multiple high-profile businessmen in the finance industry have been found eviscerated in their offices, the walls splayed with bloody & undecipherable sigils. Mundane authorities are confounded not by what is on the security tapes, but what isn't: the murderer is invisible. Already, secret organizations have begun covering-up the crimes. Has the Cryptic Policeman been sent on a clandestine errand ... or is another player at work here, hiding behind the Cryptic’s reputation?
An invaluable 13th-century German grimoire detailing rituals used for summoning & binding the Cryptic Policeman has gone to auction. While the seller -- and most of the buyers! -- have no idea what’s on the block, at least one buyer is willing kill to obtain the prize.
An ancient and priceless knife which supposedly belonged to Liu Pengli has been stolen from a local museum by a Dragon-Blooded cult who believe it may hold a portion of his power ... or the ability to command & control the great ‘Machine Colorless Wyrm’.
An eccentric hobbyist, fascinated with 'ripper-ology' and researching for a book, has deciphered an unnoticed code in the letters from the Whitechapel murders. He is drifting dangerously close to an open secret of the Hidden World: the identity of the Cryptic Policeman.
The newly-awakened descendant of a victim from the Cryptic's 1970s-era West Coast murders has manifested the power of Fey blood ... and, moreover, she has demonstrated the ability to pass that power on to others through love while retaining the full Bloodline potency herself. This young woman must be carefully introduced to the Secret World, and gently told the truth about her heritage, all without arousing the interest of the Archons or their murderous pet.
A panicked coven is seeking any & all of the help they can acquire -- begging, borrowing & blackmailing, as they are able -- from anyone powerful and in-the-know enough to assist: they attempted to summon the Cryptic Policeman from his Abhorrent Heaven & to bind him ... and while their summoning certainly worked, and seemingly escaped the notice of the Archons, they were unable to chain him. Now, the Cryptic Policeman is gleefully stalking the members of their coven, picking them off one by one in a slow-moving orgy of violence.
So ... what color of dragon is the Cryptic Policeman, precisely?
Within the context of your own Bloodlines & Black Magic game, this is left entirely to your own discretion. Whatever energy-type of breath weapon you want him to unleash in combat (or need him to be immune to!), that’s the one ... although there are certainly dozens of theories, dating back centuries across any number of cultures, claiming to authoritatively state that the invisible scales of his armor & unseen cogs of his bones are one precise shade or another.
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Which some readers can relate
Among the most effective RPG manga!
Remember my words, this hammer session manga borns to be preferred. Sadly, as a regular monthly manga, that could take a while. For now, appreciate this primarily your time. The looters that you find in my testimonial are from phase 1 and also 2 To provide examples of this environment, so beware of small spoilers.
Story: 8/10 As the synopsis said, the story unfolds with a timid girl - a Priestess - who would love to come to be an adventurer, determining she requires to help Implementing in an entrance hall of sorts in between all Sorts of common Are invited into a wondrous setting in a desire globe where several males and females Can come to be an adventurer if they intend to do so. Is immaterial considering that they're the weakest character in the majority of video games. Nest and at that time, you're pulled from the jolly RPG setting of berserk hell. with it. (This includes rape to a particular level! Viewers, yet do not let it cloud your judgment) If it was except one He's firm to eliminate the demons because of some Childhood trauma and simply tackles Goblin quests. beasts. or popularity. "Exit" kind, yet a lot more the "I do not desire other people to experience the very same horde of demons, accompanied by medicine men, hobgoblins or greater ranked enemies. One requires methods and that is one reason why I like it. The MC, hammer session manga, is rational and thinks of the very best solutions no matter what others may believe. One of the most spoiler-free instance I can provide is that in the initial pair chapters, he reveals that even the spirit Children must not be left alone, for they will certainly nurture hate toward the Humans that eliminated their liked ones and also will certainly strike back when matured.
Art: 10 A regular monthly manga generally has the benefit of having even more time for Artwork which's absolutely the case right here. We can appreciate thorough Goblin encounters being shattered and also spot-on character clothing suitable with The characters, moving with feeling and outstanding surroundings. The Surroundings are never ever neglected, most voids teem with a Simple product, like a hay-car on a ranch as well as tables with chattering people in buildings. There is a vast array of manga out here, however just a handful (actually) have gotten full marks for art from me, hammer session manga consisted of. Dynamic battles, detailed, ugly spirits, intriguing outfits as well as stunning female characters (this does not mean all points most likely to boobs certainly). This Perfect globe depicted is just set off by the Contrast of the dark reality that's encountering the spirits and also their malevolence. Truly spectacular to see, absolutely nothing to include.
Character: 7 hammer session manga is a man amongst men, let that be clear. His purpose is killing spirits which's what he does. If that implies hurting some others, so be it. He's clear, tranquil, just and also for me directly, relatable. This is How one should act in a globe similar to this. The priestess - Onno Shinkan - is a normal reluctant priestess. like Asia Argento from Highschool DxD as well as her decision to go with hammer session manga really feels forced totally to proceed the story. Afterwards, she has more Character growth than hammer session manga or a few other character below. My hunch is that timid or women visitors might discover themselves alike to Shinkan, as she tries hard for others, but is not always able to because of her beginner rank. She displays a wide Variety of emotions, Even including despair for those spirits which some readers can relate to. The sustaining characters, however, all include a specific archetype as well as retain that type. Throughout a trip, you come to know a few of them, yet My phone has actually had much more development in the previous year than they have had. They never damage the archetype, yet a few of them reveal more problem than they made use of to do. One of the most intriguing supporting character is the assistant that likes hammer session manga for helping individuals with demons Where most others would not even take a look at the pursuit as they're not satisfying or challenging enough.
Enjoyment: 9 Regardless of some problems I pointed out, the enjoyment score of ability is high for me. The phases are typically over 30 pages yet felt like I read the brief phases of Dolly Kill or the later Naruto ones. Each month waiting for a brand-new chapter is slowly eliminating me as I Wish to Keep on analysis, however there are just so couple of phases out. Often I also reviewed it once again for the sake of satisfaction of seeing those demons being wrecked most insanely and completely with melee tools and also extremely drawn magic spells.
Overall: 8 hammer session manga is rated as seinen and with factor. Gory deaths and also Captured/victimized ladies play a section of it, but that didn't shadow my judgment as it included in the severity of the settings. There is periodic wit with simply drawn faces later on, however the cool blooded severity and passion of the primary char are mainly what kept me reading, combined with impressive art work which eases the reading and also is a banquet for one's eyes. I never obtain tired of a fantasy establishing such as this with tactical battles, bloody eliminates, and a festive return.
As stated at the beginning of my review: this is mosting likely to allow with time and also I can just eagerly wait for each new chapter up until that time has actually shown up. If you desire some manga online then offer it a shot! You may also visit https://bookreadingblog.site123.me/blog/the-writer-definitely-recognizes
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Honest Q&A Meme: Solange pyr Polus
What is your full name?
“Solange pyr Polus.”
What do your friends call you?
“Most just call me Sola.”
What is your favorite animal?
“Oh… well… small, cute. Fluffy. There are just so many! I’ve seen so many since I was deployed it’s amazing compared to back home. I want to gather as many up as I can and take them home to Aurelia.”
Where were you born?
“The Capital of Garlemald.”
Do you have children?
“Oh hell no! While deployed at war? And with who? Not happening.”
Is there a person/people you love?
“Aside from my family… my dearest sister, Aurelia? My squad, they’re a fine bunch… just watch yourself during leave if drinks are involved. Good fun or no, they’re like as not to lighten your purse with errant dice or sly cards if you let them.”
What is your favorite color?
“Pale blue, like the sky just after a storm passes… or once you get up high over the clouds. Ever been in an airship before? It’s an amazing experience. The sky is… something.”
What is your full occupation?
“Soldier, Decurio. Lead a fine squad but I’m afraid I can’t really discuss what we do outside of take care of patrolling, the peace, look after civilians and other... duties as ordered. Sorry.”
Are you good at physical fighting?
“I’ve trained most of my life for it. So I certainly hope so. I think most of my squad, and any unfortunate recruit tossed at me when they’ve screwed up and I get stuck filling in for drill duty, can attest to that.”
Which form are you best at?
“Well, since I’m best with a gunblade… trained with pistol and straight up brawling and wrestling in case of close-quarters engagement? Garlean Military Close Quarters combat training at high levels. We’ll leave it at that. You want to know more? Enlist… I’ll be sure to ask you join me for PT if you make it that far.”
What about magic?
“Ah, no… we Garleans are not exactly skilled or able with such things. Fascinating though it is, of course. We’ve adapted the use of ceruleum, however, in some very… interesting ways.”
Which type are you best at?
“Again… unfortunately, not. However, if I can just get my hands on some of that ceruleum enhanced… well, never mind.”
Craftsmanship?
“Bit more of a fighter than anything else. I never really had time else for fiddling, nor the mind for magitek. Aurelia was more to Father’s nimbleness with mind and hand in that kind of thing… though she’s far too sweet and gentle for all of that.”
Any other skills?
“I read a lot. I enjoy the arts as a… bystander? Nothing would make me happier than to get a chance to see some of these Eorzean concerts and museums… you know, without having to sneak in hunched over with a sack over my head. Bloody difficult to really enjoy things that way, you know? Trying to avoid getting the locals riled up and also avoid getting your commanding officers riled up for sneaking off.”
Are you an only child?
“Luckily, no. Eldest, so a lot of responsibilities and so on… But my parents blessed me with the most delightful and adorable sister there could ever be. Aurelia is perfection… so sweet. And if Father marries her off to some boorish lout of a politician that treats her poorly before I get back… I’m sorry, what were you saying?”
Where do you see yourself in five years?
“Ah, hopefully safely home with a stable country and world, my sister happy and content… MAYBE married… IF someone *WORTHY* is actually out there… and no more wars. Realistically? I’d rather not think about it right now, the way things are.”
Have you ever almost died?
“I’m a soldier. In war. Yes.”
Do you have a secret, not just a secret, but like a really big secret hardly anyone knows?
“Well, I mean… I suppose I could talk about my family’s political leanings. It might get me in trouble, and them, if it got out. Which would get my squad possibly in trouble. And then I’d have to hunt you down and deal with you before I was caught. That would be messy and against what we are really wanting to achieve. So… I’d rather just not talk about it for everyone’s sake right now while things are so… tense.”
Salty or sweet?
“Both, actually! I really enjoy a good steak… but I have to admit, the little sweet buns on sticks that they sell in that neutral trade city… Kugi.. what was it… yes, Kiga.. no. OH! Right, thank you. Kugane. They’re right on addictive.”
Do you like yourself?
“I think so. I’ve stayed true to what my Father and Mama taught me. I keep to my honour. I love my country and my people. I respect the civilians I am there to protect, regardless of race or country of origin. And I understand and salute the soldier I face every time I’m ordered to the line. I have no reason to regret who I am when I look into the mirror. Can’t say the same about the politicians who put us here… but perhaps I’ve said enough about that.”
Do you believe in the Twelve?
“The who? Ah, an Eorzean belief? No, I’m not one for these constructs at all. I mean, if it makes them feel better or gives them a… mmm… not sure how to word this… but anyway, as long as they’re not doing that whole… summoning business with it, I don’t really see the problem with it as a whole? I guess. But I don’t prescribe to the whole idea, myself.”
Are you religious?
“Oh, I guess I sort of answered this already, didn’t I? No. I’m not.”
Do you carry prejudice with you?
“I don’t think anyone exists that isn’t in some manner or another. But my Father worked very hard to raise my darling sister and me away from the current… mainstream beliefs of the Empire towards those not Garlean. I don’t have much tolerance for the term ‘savages’ towards other countries that are just as advanced as our own, simply specialized in other areas. We have magitek, they have… magic? So what? How does that make them worse or us better? Their art is unique. Their history vast and old. I don’t know… I’m rambling now.”
What do you consider entertainment?
“I mean, for a soldier it’s leave, drinks and cards or dice… depending on where we’re deployed and what we have access to. And how the locals actually feel about us? It isn’t like we’re deployed in areas where we can just walk around and mingle happily or freely. I can’t do what I’d like to do, go to a musical or art show to soak in the local culture. Or really try to get to know the people. Most of them would rather try to stick something pointy in someplace I didn’t have armour. Which really is a pity… they’re so unique and amazing to see. Did you know some of them have horns? Isn’t that wild?! Ah, it’s not fair… I mean, there are places where we’re ‘in control’ but that’s not where I get sent. That’s not what I… do. We’re not… you know, never mind.”
Favorite drink?
“A good solid mead with a kick. Mama always bemoaned that I never developed the refined pallet, but Father told me it suited me just fine considering deployment would render fine wines and costly smoky liquors beyond my reach unless I wanted to tangle with the locals… something not always a comfortable endeavour and I want to try to leave as decent and respectable an impression as I can, my fellow countrymen’s behaviour notwithstanding at times. Besides, I can kick back with my squad better.”
Do you have any family traditions?
“Mm… Well, we’d celebrate the major calendar events or ‘holidays’ with large family dinners at our manor. The extended family would show up. Mama always fussed that I didn’t dress properly, but I was already in training to join the military with Father… I wasn’t going to wear dresses. And we always sat for family portraits when Father was home from deployments… and once he retired and before I was deployed… once a year. After that… well… whenever I’d have leave to go home. So it hasn’t been for awhile.”
Are you a good person?
“I’d… like to think so? I try to be. But I’m sure there are some… I guess a lot… who would hate me simply for the fact that I’m a soldier in a war. I do my best to treat everyone fairly and right. To uphold the rules and codes of conduct… protect civilians and treat everyone equally. Hold everyone accountable for their actions. But in the end, I suppose it’s a matter of perspective. We’re all just people in an ugly situation that most of us never asked to be in.”
Thank you for answering my questions.
“Oh, not a problem. It was nice to talk to someone friendly. The drink is on me, enjoy it.”
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