#the vacation-y details are all taken from my life pretty much
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Futures | BODY BACK
As Harrison mentally connects the umber flecks of Jeremiah’s eyes like they’re constellations, he imagines a future where he follows him to Maryland.
He could take the first leg of the trip, tune the radio to throwbacks, belt Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer in a Burger King drive-thru just to make Jeremiah laugh. They could rest at a motel similar to Greta—the same stuffy wallpaper, the same berber carpet. Surprise each other the next morning with bagels from the bakery a block away. Go crabbing at Point Lookout on their first weekend in the state. Pose next to each other with their catch for a photo snapped by a stranger.
Jeremiah might even invite him to his grandmother’s birthday party, introduce him to an aunt as his boyfriend. They’d link arms the entire night, feed each other spoons of sherry trifle. Harrison could bond with a cousin over their shared interests in bushcraft forts and Neo-Dada art. Jeremiah’s mother would invite them berry picking the next weekend, serve blueberry buckle after Sunday mass, everyone still suited and skirted around the kitchen table. Harrison could cameo in their Christmas card photo. Spend the next year’s labour day weekend at a lakeside cottage. Grill chicken thighs with Jeremiah’s father. Play Marco Polo with his younger brother. It’d all feel like an airy vacation.
today's excerpt. specifically to hurt the jeremiah boys. <3
#WHEN I REMEMBERED THIS WAS A HYPOTHETICAL I ALMOST CRIED LOL#bro u could be eating BLUEBERRY BUCKLE and instead UR LAMENTING UR EX???????#listen maybe i'm just very...... MUCH about this because this excerpt has a lot of maryland#and I spent a lot of time there as a kid hehe#BUT THIS SEEMS INFINITELY BETTER THAN IDK...#LONAN#EATING BAGELS???? SINGING BON JOVI??? HARRISON THE CHOICE IS CLEAR#bushcraft forts is a very niche easter egg to Of the Red Earth which is the Fostered rewrite my sister and I started#in 2021 (I believe?) - where Harrison has a bushcraft fort hahaha#neo-dada art is an easter egg to when rachel took an art history course that one time LMAOO#the vacation-y details are all taken from my life pretty much#bodyback
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hi! can you write a yelena x fem!reader based on best friend’s brother by victorious where reader is nat’s best friend but falls for yelena?
I love the best friend's sibling trope🤧 Yes, I used Google translate for some parts. Yes, I am sorry in advance
7k words
Warnings: brief injury description and R getting tipsy (and having less of a filter than usual 👀)
[ masterlist ]
Buy me a coffee ☕
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Nat you're not going to believe what I just saw! It has single handedly made my week- whoa!" You exclaimed as you threw your hands up and backed against the nearest wall.
"Who are you?" Demanded the blonde from the other end of her gun. You glanced frantically between her hand gun and her stone cold grey eyes, not knowing which you should be more afraid of.
"Y/n." You answered shakily, your mouth and throat suddenly feeling like sandpaper.
"Yelena!" Natasha shouted as she came into the living room. "Put your gun down you сумасшедшая сука (crazy bitch)!" Yelena hesitated as she gave you the once over and slowly lowered her weapon. You didn't fail to notice how she kept it in her hands until Natasha snatched it away.
"Hey!" She argued and tried to grab it back.
"You get gun privileges back when you stop pointing them at my friends." Natasha said as she put it in the safe under the kitchen counter.
"She didn't knock!" Yelena defended with a thick accent.
You were still stood awkwardly against the wall as you watched the interaction. You had no idea who the blonde was much less why she had acted like a paranoid guard dog. Not that you were offended, being friends with someone who had a lot of protective friends and coworkers meant this had happened more than you wanted to admit. JARVIS actually had some very over the top weapons pointed at you twice.
"I don't knock when I go to her place." Natasha pointed out. You smiled nervously at the blonde when she looked over at you again.
"Well as your new roommate it seems like something I should know."
New roommate? Natasha hated the idea of a roommate and had always been very vocal about it. It was why she insisted on having her own apartment rather than living in at the Avengers compound.
You glanced around and couldn't see any moving boxes or suitcases or really anything that indicated anyone else was living there. Either Yelena had already packed or she just wanted to keep all her personal things to herself.
"Temporary roommate." Natasha corrected making the blonde huff. "Who still hasn't gotten the groceries." Yelena mumbled something under her breath in Russian as she trudged towards the door. She glanced your way once then looked back as if second guessing you. She narrowed her eyes slightly and you fidgeted on the spot, feeling nervous under her gaze.
"What did you see?" She asked.
"I'm sorry?" You replied, not knowing where the question came from.
"What did you want to tell Natasha about." You stared at her blankly for a second before you suddenly realised what she meant.
"Oh! I saw a man walking seven ferrets." You said with a fond smile as you remembered the way their leads were getting caught up as the scrambled over each other. Yelena stared back at you. "Seven is a lot." You said. She still didn't seem to get it. "I like ferrets." You mumbled as you felt embarrassed.
She didn't say anything as she looked you over one more time and opened the door to leave, shutting it firmly behind her. You released a breath you didn't know you had been holding once the door clicked shut.
"Seven?" Natasha teased with a smirk as put some toast in the toaster. You grumbled as you walked over to the kitchen island and leant against it.
"She's intense." You commented and whipped your head around to the door, afraid she would walk back in.
"She's my sister." Natasha said casually.
"Sister? What?! Since when did you- Sister?!" Natasha chuckled at your reaction and shrugged simply.
"It's complicated."
"Everything with you is." You fired back. "Look I'll tell you our life story later." She waved off. You had known Natasha for years and considered each other your closest friends. You told her everything but you understood early on that there was a lot about her life she couldn't talk about. Whether it was because it could endanger you to know or it was simply to painful to recall, there would always be something.
"And I'm sorry about her wanting to shoot you. She's a lot." Natasha sighed, clearly tired. She had been away for months and you guessed she had found Yelena at some point during that mission. She had only been back a week and clearly needed a break. You wondered if she would finally take Fury up on his promise of a vacation.
"She's just protective." You shrugged. "Like someone else I know." You eyed the redhead with a smile. Yelena honestly seemed nothing short of terrifying to you, but you weren't going to admit that to your friend who would remind you of it every chance she got.
"Trust you to defend someone who put a gun on you." Natasha rolled her eyes and pushed a hot drink towards you.
"She seems nice." That wasn't the right word and given the look Natasha gave you she agreed. "Witty?" You tried. Natasha pulled a face in disagreement and you sighed in defeat. "Whatever, she's cute though." You thought aloud. Natasha shot you a warning look.
"Don't go crushing on my sister, y/n." She said with a serious edge to her tone. You laughed at her sudden shift and fell down on her sofa to grab the remote to start binging the shows Natasha had missed with you.
"I wouldn't dream of it."
*
It was a Friday night when you saw the blonde next. The bar you worked at was surprisingly quiet for the day but you didn't mind at all. Less people meant less chance of having to deal with a drunken fight. Not that that ever really happened there.
You worked in a small bar that had been running since long before you were born. It wasn't the most out there establishment and combined with it's location on the quieter, arguably more sketchy, parts of the city, it wasn't massively popular. In fact, everyone who showed up at the bar you recognised instantly, lest the rare groups of people who stumbled upon the building. No one who went there was all that talkative, but you had come to know each of them over the years.
It wasn't that the bar itself was sketchy. It wasn't involved in illegal gambling or drug dealings. It was just that it seemed to remind people of home. You had alcohols there that you just couldn't find in shops or other bars. Behind the bar was everything from Mexico's brightest palomas to Russia's strongest vodka. The latter was what had drawn Natasha to your worn down place of work the first time you met her. While she didn't like to be reminded of her past in Russia, like a couple other customers you had, she couldn't deny she missed the booze. So you guessed you shouldn't have been surprised to see Yelena joining her that night.
"Just give it a chance will you." Natasha scolded her younger sister in a hushed voice. You smiled at the encounter as the pair came towards the bar. Everything the redhead had been able to tell you about her time away was evident from the way the siblings interacted. It really hadn't taken them long to fall back into the squabbling sisters role, like they hadn't ever been apart.
Yelena grumbled something in Russian as she glanced around the bar, her eyes soon landing on yours and just as unreadable as the last time you saw her. The memory had been playing a lot in your head.
"Hi again." You smiled at her before turning your attention to your friend. "The usual?"
"For this one too." Natasha nodded to her sister as she sat down on a stall, soon followed by Yelena.
You took two shot glasses from the shelf and put them infront of the sisters and opened a bottle of Natasha's favourite bottle. You filled the both to the brim and put the bottle on the counter, knowing the redhead wanted it there. Natasha wasn't really a regular drinker, but when she did enduldge herself she didn't seem to have a limit. You had never once seen her drunk.
Natasha didn't hesitate in tilting her head back with the glass at her lips and didn't flinch when she swallowed the drink. Yelena rolled her eyes but copied anyway.
You carried on with drying some glasses and tried not to pay close attention to the blonde's reaction. You always loved the moment that customers realised they had found the drinks of their country. And as Yelena was harder to read, it took extra attention to detail to spot the moment of realisation. Natasha was watching for it too.
Yelena shrugged. She shrugged, clearly underwhelmed. "It's good." She commented. Natasha sighed dramatically and poured herself another shot as she grumbled about never being able to please her sister.
You went back to your duties properly and shook your head with a sigh. First time for everything. However when you risked a glanced at Yelena you saw a hint of a smile tug at the corner of her lips. You grinned to yourself, deciding then that you were determined to see a proper smile from the blonde at some point.
"What's got you smiling?" Natasha asked with a smirk.
"Am I not allowed to just smile, Tasha?" You quipped back.
"I take it your date went well." You groaned at the mention of the event.
"It actually really didn't." You huffed. It was actually one of the worst dates you had ever been on. You had been giggling like a school girl when Natasha told you a shield agent had eyes for you. The two of you exchanged numbers and arranged a date but it became clear to you pretty quickly she wasn't as ready to date again as she thought she was. "She's definitely not over her ex." She grimaced. Natasha hummed in thought.
"Okay, but do you want me to key her car?"
"She paid for my coffee!" You laughed, she always had to be dramatic with her protectiveness.
"Is that a no then?" Yelena asked. You honestly had no idea if she was joking or not.
"It's a no." You confirmed with a smile.
"I'm sure I can find you someone else." Natasha said confidently. You hummed in response and watched her pour another pair of shots.
"That's okay, Tasha. Maybe you should focus on yourself and a certain other redhead." You grinned. Natasha shot daggers at you as Yelena whipped her head around to stare at her sister.
"You have a boy..." She paused and scanned her sister quickly. "Girlfriend?" She concluded. You snickered and poured a drink for another customer, focusing on him momentarily as the pair bickered further.
"There is nothing going on with me and Wanda!" Natasha exclaimed.
"The magic one?" Yelena asked with interest.
"The magic one." You confirmed with a grin.
"What's she like?" The blonde continued as she leaned forward.
"She's better than you Сволоч (jerks)." Natasha mumbled as she rolled her eyes.
"And a total babe." You added and leapt back when the redhead went to hit you.
"Y/n!" You spun around at hearing a familiar voice. Joseph, your oldest regular, was making his way through the room towards the end of the bar, a fond smile etched into the deep lines on his face.
"Hey, pal." You smiled back and went to prepare his usual as he started to chat away at you.
"You never had anything with her?" Yelena asked boldly as she tilted her glass towards you.
"Y/n?" Natasha was surprised to say the least. She had never thought of you that way and no one else had ever asked about it. "No." She chuckled, thinking of all the times you had done everything in your power just to get her and Wanda alone in a room together. "Why'd you ask?"
"I just wondered." She said as she tapped her glass in thought, grey eyes watched you actively engage in conversation with the older man. Natasha narrowed her eyes at her sister.
"Right. Just don't crush on my best friend." She warned as she poured her sister another shot.
"You got it." She nodded and threw her head back as she downed the shot.
*
You ended up seeing Yelena quite frequently. Not only did she join Natasha in coming to the bar, but she seemed to always be there when you visited your friend too. She wasn't much of a small talker, you learned that quickly, but the passing moments you happened to be alone in each others company stopped being awkward quickly.
Yelena was surprisingly easy to get along with. Once you had found a common ground of interest (making fun of Natasha) you could easily carry a conversation with her, but she was still closed off - something you were expecting given her past. There was one evening that made that as clear as it could be.
"I'm just saying the Avengers would be very happy to have you!" Natasha exclaimed with a smile as you sat giggling next to her.
"I'm not going to be a hero." Yelena waved off. She had quickly began agitated when she had nothing to do. There had always been something. Some mission. Some test. Some important training. Anything. And now she was free from the Red Room Yelena was struggling to know what she could do. You could tell she wanted to have a meaningful role, you just doubted she was going to admit that.
"There's always bounty hunting." You suggested as you flicked through the thin file in your lap. Sometimes when Natasha was struggling with a particular case file she gave it to you for a new insight. You never got a name or any big details in the files and it still wasn't entirely within the rules, but sometimes you actually helped.
"He bled to death from the stabbing, then he was shot." You muttered to the redhead as you passed the file back. Turns out being a drop out med student was good for something. While Natasha was the best of the best, she was still human and there were things even she overlooked from time to time that you picked up on.
"That's a good one." Yelena agreed as she sipped on her beer, pondering the suggestion.
"But why even go for something like this at all?" You said. Natasha and Yelena gave you a confused glance.
"I'm sticking to what I'm good at." The blonde said slowly.
"I'm sure you're skill set expands beyond all...this." You waved your arms around aimlessly. "Was there anything you remember enjoying before?" You asked curiously and Yelena instantly stiffened.
"No." She said bluntly and put her bottle down on the table. "Bounty hunting sounds good, I'll look in to it." She said as she left the living room area and headed towards her room without a second glance.
Your throat felt dry suddenly as guilt washed over you. What kind of a question even was that? She was only a kid when it happened, part of you wondered if she even remembered the part of her life before the Red Room.
"She's okay." Natasha assured, as though reading your mind.
"I shouldn't have asked." You muttered.
"Probably not, but for what it's worth" Natasha started as she went to put the shield file away "I thought you were onto something."
So you never asked about her past again, but that didn't stop you from thinking about it. You wondered if it was something she and Natasha talked about, only able to confide in one another about the nightmares they shared. Or was it an unspoken thing, something that they kept in the deepest darkest parts of their minds? You didn't expect to ever get an answer to that question.
Not so deadly assassin: THERE'S A FUCKING RAT IN MY ROOM
Not so deadly assassin: come deal with it!!!
Not so deadly assassin: Y/N
Not so deadly assassin: oh NOW you have a life
Not so deadly assassin: if you don't come over in 5 minutes I'm killing it
You huffed as you took your phone out of your pocket to see who had been blowing up your phone. You skimmed over Natasha's messages and sent a quick threat telling her if she ended the rat's life you would end hers and sped up your walk.
Luckily you were only a few minutes away from Natasha's apartment and after running up the stairs a few at a time you knocked on your friend's door and licked your partly spilt drink off your hand with a curse.
Yelena opened the door and motioned for you to come inside, seeming unfazed by your arrival and no doubt knowing why you were there. "Is she okay?" You asked as you looked around frantically.
"She just got called away for a mission." Yelena said as she led you through the apartment to Natasha's room.
"I meant the rat." You mumbled and spotted it in the corner. Yelena snickered at your comment and leant against the door frame as she watched you slowly approach the rodent.
"How did it even get in here?" You asked as you cooed and held your hand out to the rat that considered you curiously.
"Came in through the window apparently. I think Natasha wants to tear down the fire escape now." Yelena deadpanned.
"Like either of you need it anyway." The rat came closer to you and sniffed your hand before walking onto it. You picked up the small creature and placed her down gently on the fire escape before shutting the window.
"Was that so hard?" You said with a smile.
"They carry disease, you know?" Yelena fired back.
"So do we!" You exclaimed and paused when Yelena gave you a side eye. "Okay some of us." You corrected as you washed your hands.
"I hope she didn't call you away from anything important." Yelena said as she glanced at the hot drink you had left on the counter.
"I was just about to go to the pharmacy." You shrugged.
"It's your lucky day, I need band aids." Yelena declared as she picked up her satchel bag.
"Band...aids?" You questioned with a shit eating grin as you grabbed your drink and headed for the door with the blonde behind you.
"Yes, y/n. I need band aids. You're as bad as Natasha, she doesn't seem to think we need them either. We have everything in that bathroom except band aids!" You giggled as you watched her ramble in exasperation, finding it undeniably cute when she got lost in her own world about something.
"So if you're bleeding to death you'll be fine but if you get a papercut then things are gonna get bad?" You teased as you left the building. Yelena rolled her eyes at you but seemed to not be able to stop the small smile fighting for it's appearance, tugging at the corner of her mouth.
"It's a pretty big papercut." She mumbled as she inspected the cut on her forefinger.
"Well I think you're very brave." You grinned.
You walked in a comfortable silence for a while until your eyes landed on something that spiked every happy hormone in your body. "Yelena!" You grabbed at her arm and pointed across the street. The blonde was understandably alarmed at first and you noticed her reach into her back pocket for something until she saw what you were pointing at.
"Seven ferrets." Yelena muttered as she watched the small animals half run down the street infront of their owner.
"Seven adorable ferrets." You corrected as you watched them continue to scurry along.
"I can see how that could be the highlight of your week." Yelena recalled and you couldn't help but blush slightly. "I think this is the highlight of mine." She admitted.
"You're only human." You sighed as you turned around to keep walking, a content smile on your lips.
"Why don't you have pets if they make you so happy?" Yelena asked curiously.
"Not allowed in my apartment." You said gloomily. It was probably for the best, you would have a lot of pets if you could, too many to handle.
"If you think about it, rats are just small ferrets and you see those everyday. You could go find some more." Yelena teased and you chuckled.
"Haven't you heard? They carry disease." It was Yelena's turn to laugh lightly at that. You smiled proudly at causing the beautiful sound and felt your stomach do a small flip.
*
It turned out all the Avengers were keen to have Yelena on their team. Tony and Steve had introduced themselves to the new Russian one evening and bored (Yelena's words) her with stories of their latest successful missions and how great it was to be an Avenger. She didn't buy it.
Then she started getting emails and texts from the team, inviting her to different events and trying to get on her good side. Tony had even sent an extravagant gift basket to the apartment one day. Yelena had asked you to spend the afternoon sorting through it with her, snacking on all the expensive chocolates on the way as you told the blonde you thought she had a secret admirer.
It was early in the afternoon when she finally agreed to meeting the whole team.
"I just think it could be fun. I know they probably seem like annoying children right now, but at those parties they have to behave." You said into the phone as you balanced it on your shoulder.
"I don't think I own the right kind of clothing for it." Yelena said.
"I'm sure Natasha can lend you something, she is your big sister after all." You teased and heard her groan.
"You don't even have to stay long. But once you actually meet them they'll lay off about you joining if you still don't want to."
"It's just not-"
"Your thing." You finished with a smile. "I know, Lena. They'll get it." She hummed in thought and a silence fell over your phones until you cursed. "Shit." You muttered when the table leg fell down again.
"You need help putting that table together?" Yelena asked for the umpteenth time. You sighed as you sat back and glared at the parts sprawled out across the floor.
"Yes please."
*
Yelena Belova wearing a suit was something else entirely. Every outfit her sister offered her she turned down until Natasha grew frustrated and took Yelena out for a suit fitting, and god it paid off. The blazer hugged her body closely in a way you partly wished you could feel. You knew the blonde wasn't big on any form of affection, especially physical, but you loved it and Yelena had become a good friend. During late evenings when she was sitting comfortably in an armchair with a large hoodie on you thought she looked so soft and warm. You could only imagine how safe you would feel in her arms. You always had to put those thoughts aside quickly, not wanting to let your mind linger on things so intimate.
"Told you this place isn't so bad." You laughed nervously as Yelena approached you. She smiled and shook her head, her eyes looking so much brighter in the new lighting.
"I can't argue with that." The blonde shrugged and followed you to the bar.
"You um, you look amazing by the way." You said as she avoided Yelena's gaze, not wanting to let your eyes wander the way they were straining to. Unfortunately that meant you missed how she took in your attire and the admiration she struggled to hide.
"So do you." She smiled.
"Evening." Natasha said with a smirk as she came up to you and Yelena from the other side of the bar.
"This does not feel right at all." You winced making the redhead smile, more so when she prepared what she knew was your favourite drink.
"Yelena! You running away from me?" Sam grinned as he strolled towards the bar. You smiled into your drink when you saw the blonde shift on her feet in slight frustration.
"You gotta come meet Maria, you're gonna love her!" He exclaimed as he tried to steer Yelena away. She looked back at you with a face that was clearly asking for help but you just giggled as she left and waved goodbye to her.
"Has she met Wanda yet?" You grinned at Natasha knowingly and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks.
"She has." You hummed and looked across the room to spot the Sokovian in question. "And?"
"And they only just stopped talking when you arrived." You nodded with a triumphant smile, knowing the pair would get along. You missed Natasha's short analysis of your expression, trying to find the thing she knew you were hiding until someone else arrived at the other end of the bar and she rushed off.
You leaned over the bar to pour yourself another drink and started across the room. It didn't take long at all to find Wanda, or rather for her to find you.
"Y/n!" She exclaimed as she pulled you in for a crushing hug barely a second after you had turned around.
"Hey Wan." You laughed as you tried to hug her back.
"How are you, sweetie?" She asked as she let you go.
"I'm good, how have things been for you?" It had been far too long since you had seen the Sokovian and you missed her company a lot. She had such a calming presence that you always felt so comfortable around. You had told her that once, not knowing the fears she faced of her powers and the mistrust she had in herself, and she had teared up as she pulled you in for your first Wanda hug.
"So, I hear you met Yelena." You smiled after a while of catching up with the redhead.
"I was slightly terrified of her at first." She admitted with a laugh.
"She had a gun on me when we met!" You exclaimed as you remembered it clearly.
"So I heard." Wanda teased. "I also hear you guys are getting on like a house on fire." She continued as she watched you carefully.
"Yeah." You muttered as you spotted her talking to Maria. "She's pretty great." You said easily.
You spent a while catching up with various team members between drinks. You kept steeling glances at Yelena, mostly catching her in conversations she clearly didn't want to be in but a few times you caught her eye and paused to smile at her. She was always beautiful but you really couldn't get over how she looked in the navy suit.
You were sat by the bar when the party started to come to an end. You usually would have left a while ago but you wanted to be able to say goodbye to Yelena before you did.
"I'm exhausted." Came the familiar husky voice from behind you. Yelena leaned on the bar next to you and poured herself a vodka and downed the shot.
"Me too!" You said loudly with a slight slur. Yelena paused before letting a smile creep onto her lips as she watched you with an amused glint in her eyes.
"How much have you had to drink?" Yelena asked as she took your glass away from you.
"A few." You thought as you tried to calculate in your head but just shrugged in conclusion.
"легкий (lightweight)." The Russian muttered.
"Hey, come over here." Natasha called as she rounded a corner and spotted you and her sister. "We're putting a film on." She declared. You glanced around and noticed that everyone had gone. When did that happen?
"Let's go, Lena!" You called as you took her by the hand and led her through to where Natasha had gone.
"Are you sure?" She questioned as she looked down at your entwined hands.
"Absolutely!" You jumped up a few steps and saw the group sitting around the large TV on the comfy sofas.
"I missed these." You said to Yelena as you fell down onto the nearest sofa and pulled her down next to you. Natasha placed some snacks down on the table and eyed your joined hands without a comment.
You brought your legs up underneath you, not unlocking your fingers when the blonde's who didn't seem to mind. The other Avengers didn't seem to take much notice or interest in how close you were to Yelena and thanks to your slightly tipsy state you didn't bring much attention to it either. All you knew was that you felt comfortable sitting so close to the Russian that your bare arm was touching her soft blazer.
"Your hands are really soft." You whispered to her. She smiled to herself and tried to fight off the slight blush painting her cheeks that you, lucky for Yelena, didn't notice.
"So are yours." She whispered back.
What you didn't realise was that Natasha was still paying close attention to you both with Wanda smiling knowingly besides her, even when the film started and the lights dimmed. She finally stopped when she heard Wanda laugh lightly at something on screen, turning her attention to the girl besides her and then the film.
Barely 10 minutes in you found yourself growing sleepy. The dark room and the warmth of Yelena were certainly part of the cause but you found you really didn't mind, especially when your head fell onto Yelena's shoulder and she didn't shake you off.
Your eyes struggled to focus on the screen and really anything that wasn't the blonde when she shifted on the sofa to let you lean back against her. You smiled faintly as you let your eyes close and relax against Yelena, your hand still in hers.
*
You awoke when the main lights started to come back on and you felt Yelena stretch behind you. Her blazer was draped across your front and you smiled like an idiot when you realised. She had only worn it for a few hours and it already smelt like her.
"Hey." She husked and you felt a chill run through your body when her breath hit your neck.
"Hey yourself." You grinned back.
"Come on, let's get you home." She said as she sat up on the sofa.
"Can you get me a cab?" You asked as you rubbed your eyes.
"I'll drive you." Yelena stood up and held out her hand to help you up too. You took it happily and leaned against her for support for a moment.
You said goodbye to the team and made your way slowly out of the living area and eventually out the building in a concentrated silence. Concentrated for you, Yelena didn't have any issue putting one foot infront of the other.
"You guys okay getting home?" Natasha called from the entrance as Yelena helped you into her car. You gave Natasha two thumbs up and grinned her way as Yelena nodded. The redhead nodded back and folded her arms as she watched you carefully leave the building site.
It wasn't that long a drive to your apartment. Yelena drove in silence while you hummed along faintly to a song playing quietly on the radio, unaware of the smile playing on the blonde's lips.
When Yelena had parked outside your apartment complex she helped you out the car and up to your apartment, unlocking the door for you and guiding you through to your room where she lay you on the bed gently.
"You should change." Yelena said as she got some of your night clothes from the closet and went into the kitchen to get you a glass of water.
"You should stay." You grinned at her. She arched a brow at you in question but you didn't respond, only turning around on the bed. "Can you help me with my zipper?"
Yelena nodded and put the glass of water down on your bedside table and pulled the zipper down, trying to ignore the urge to see if the skin on your back was as smooth as it looked. She cleared her throat when she realised the zipper went lower than she thought, reaching your tailbone. Yelena took a step back and turned towards the opposite wall as she heard you step out of the dress and into your bed clothes.
"You should take some too." You said when you pulled the duvet back.
"You really want me to stay?" Yelena questioned, it looked like you were starting to sober up.
"Of course!" You grinned as you leaned on your elbows to watch her and patted the space in bed besides you.
"Okay." She smiled and got some clothes from your closet that she quickly changed into when you looked away to drink the water she had given you.
Yelena folded her suit on a chair in the corner of the room before hesitantly getting into the warm bed besides you. But she surprisingly felt a lot more at ease when you draped an arm over her stomach as you closed your eyes. Yelena sighed lightly at the contact. She never thought she was one for physical contact, but she had been wondering what it would be like to receive it from you for a while. Even craved it after you had held her hand earlier that night.
"Night Lena" You mumbled sleepily. Yelena put her hand on your waist to pull you closer to her and brushed a stray strand of hair away from you face.
"Good night y/n."
*
Despite the killer headache that greeted you, you actually woke up feeling pretty great. Your bed was warmer than usual and you didn't feel quite as alone as you always did in the large bed.
You rubbed your eyes and groaned but froze when you felt a hand on your bare waist where your shirt had ridden up. Yelena was sleeping soundlessly besides you and your breath caught in your throat when you took in her appearance. The sunlight seeping into the bedroom hit her face just right and you had to remind yourself not to stare, even if she wasn't awake to notice it.
You spotted a bottle of advil on the bedside table and a fresh glass of water that you took together. You tried to be careful not to wake Yelena but she started to move when you did, her soft hand slipping from your waist.
"Morning." You said after finishing the glass of water and wiping your mouth with the back of your wrist. Yelena groaned as she stretched out like a cat and looked up at you.
"Morning to you too." She smiled and you wondered if she knew she had her hand on your waist just a few seconds prior.
"Feel free to take a shower and borrow some of my clothes." You offered as you stood up from the bed and made your way across the room.
"Thanks." She hummed quietly. "Hey." You turned around by the door when she called you. "How did you sleep?" She asked curiously as she sat up to face you properly.
"Like a rock." You recalled happily. "You?"
"Yeah," Yelena smiled back, "pretty great." You nodded and made your way to kitchen as Yelena got out of bed with a content smile.
Yelena was in the shower when you started on breakfast. Usually you would have made something simple like toast or some fruit but you figured as you had a guest you should make something better and settled on pancakes. You also wanted to thank her for staying the night with you.
"That smells amazing." Yelena said with wide eyes as she trudged into the kitchen, still drying her hair. Your heart swelled at the sight of the blonde in one of your band shirts with some loose shorts. Your thought that your clothes probably looked better on her and you imagined how soft she would look in your favorite hoodie.
"Take a picture, it will last longer." She teased when you didn't respond. You snapped out of your daze and smiled sheepishly as you avoided her eye and continued to flip the pancakes. You put a plate down on the kitchen island and motioned for her to eat as you put some juice and fruit down too.
"No pressure, but what I think of you as a chef is going to be determined by these." She quipped as she started to cut the food. You smiled and turned around to watch the blonde's face change into a childish grin.
"Not too shabby." You concluded before shovelling more of the food into her mouth.
"No too shabby." You repeated with a sense of pride as you sat down next to her.
"That's what they used to say on the American shows I watched as a kid." She explained. You were about to tell her you had heard the expression before but paused when you realised it was the first time Yelena said anything about her childhood to you.
"Weren't they translated?" You asked carefully.
"No because they were copies from America. My father got them for us." She said and you noticed the far away look in her eyes, no doubt remembering that day as best she could.
"Well if you remember what the show's called we can try watch them again." You suggested with a shrug. Yelena considered you for a moment before she smiled at you softly. "Okay." She agreed. You opened your mouth to speak but there was a sudden loud thudding on your apartment door. You went to stand up to see who it was until Natasha opened the door and slammed it shut making you jump.
"I locked that door." Yelena said with certainty.
"I have a spare key." Natasha showed the metal piece before putting it back into her pocket.
"You want pancakes?" You asked as you stood up to put some more batter in the pan.
"What's going on with you two?" The redhead demanded, ignoring your question.
"What do you mean?" You and Yelena used in unison.
"You know exactly what I mean!" Natasha exclaimed as she raised her voice and looked between you and her equally baffled sister. "Are you dating? You could have told me." She continued as a hurt expression flickered across her face.
"We're not dating." Yelena said slowly but glanced at you. "Are we?" You could have sworn you heard her voice hold something hopeful rather than teasing.
"Not since I last checked."
"Can you quit fucking around and just tell me?" Natasha took a second look at the shirt Yelena was wearing before her jaw clenched.
"Oh no no no. We didn't- she just slept over!" You rambled as you started to panic. Natasha looked far from happy. You had been thinking a lot about what your friend had said the first time you met Yelena. You were never sure if she was really serious or not. All you knew was you that you started to feel guilty when your eyes lingered too long on her sister or when you felt the butterflies in your chest at her contact or really anything she did. You told yourself you kept your promise and didn't have a crush on Yelena, but it was becoming increasingly harder to convince yourself and now Natasha.
"You can tell me." The redhead said quieter as her stance softened. You looked to Yelena who seemed set on staying silent as she stared at her empty plate.
"Natasha I really don't know what to say..." You honestly didn't. You were baffled by the whole situation and Yelena was hardly helping. She really thought you were dating?
"Right, I just wanted to know." The older Russian sighed as she trudged towards the door. There was a heavy silence over the apartment until Natasha stopped by the open door to turn towards you both with a frown.
"I didn't mean it. What I said about..." She glanced around as she fidgeted in the doorway and searched for words. You and Yelena waited patiently. "Wanda said you guys are cute." A smile flickered at the corner of your mouth and you looked to the floor. "She's right." She left without another word and shut the door gently behind her. You exhaled heavily once you heard the click and leaned against the counter.
"Crazy, right?" You laughed nervously. Yelena didn't respond. "You okay?" You started filling the washing up bowl with water, needing to do something as you talked.
"She thinks we're dating." Yelena muttered.
"Yeah that's what I... that's crazy." You laughed more and scratched the back of your neck.
"Is it?" She questioned as she turned around to face you. You couldn't help but stare back at her light eyes that you struggled to read.
"Maybe not." You shrugged. The blonde looked back at the ground with a conflicted look. "No... no it's not." You concluded.
"I like spending time with you." Yelena continued. "Just hanging out, helping you put together that damn table, sleeping next to you. Even at that damn party with like one hundred people I still just wanted to be with you." She admitted and you exhaled a breath you didn't know you had been holding. "I just like being around you."
"I like being around you too." Yelena looked up and you held her gaze as your hands shook with nerves.
"Would you still like being around me if we were on a date?" She asked boldly. You couldn't contain the smile that grew at her words. You reached out and took her hands in yours as you took a step closer to the Russian.
"I would love it." Yelena smiled and stood up slowly, her eyes flickering to your lips as you licked them. You closed your eyes and leaned forward bravely, finding your hands were no longer shaking. Yelena's left hand left yours and came up to your neck to steady herself and close the gap between you, pressing her lips ever so softly against yours.
You snaked your hand around her waist to bring her somehow closer and deepened the kiss you realised you had been craving for so long. You pulled away softly and rested your forehead against Yelena's, suddenly feeling very dizzy.
"I have a huge crush on you." You admitted with a sigh, to yourself and Yelena.
"I have a huge crush on you too." Yelena laughed softly. "Can we do that date now? I think I've waited long enough." You giggled lightly and nodded your head as excitement rushed over you.
"Sounds perfect." You smiled and went to your bedroom to get changed but paused in the hallway. "You should call Nat."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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the habits of a broken heart.
☾ genre : soulmates au, unrequited love, art student!JK, english student!Y/N, angst, fluff, subtle enemies to lovers
☾ pairing : jeon jungkook x reader
☾ summary : jungkook and you are soulmates. so says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. however, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.
alternatively,
“You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.”
☾ word count: 26.3k (my biggest one yet!)
☾ author’s note: this took forever oh my gosh! i really hope you like it! it’s my first time writing such a big single piece, and trying a different style. thank you so much for your support, always! please let me know what you think ♡
The first time he had his heart broken, Jeon Jungkook had been 13 years old. He was fresh out of middle school and so ready to face his freshman year with an impressionable mind and plenty of voice cracks to earn him months worth of teasing. You see, at the age of 13, Jungkook wasn’t something to swoon over. He had yet to grow into his ears and Dr. Park assured him that his braces would be off as soon as she could get them. He was a little lanky and a bit too reticent to be considered social. So when a girl in his grade comes up to him, nervous and stuttering, and asks him to go to the heavily romanticized homecoming dance, Jungkook has already come to the conclusion that she might be his soulmate, even if he was far too young to get his mark yet.
Her name was Mina, and Jungkook is confronted with this memory every time he visits home and his mother makes the family flip through the photo albums dating back to his high school years. He grimaces every time he sees the picture of them together. Him in a pink button-up to match her offensively ugly ruffled taffeta dress.
Mina broke up with him three months after that picture was taken, through one of her friends no less and in front of his entire gym class. Jungkook couldn’t remember how long he cried for while he felt the pain from his first heartbreak would never go away, regardless of how much time passes. He held onto his mother and sobbed out the agony and humiliation of Mina not wanting to be his girlfriend anymore, and how he had lost his soulmate before he even knew it was her. His mother assured him that without the mark, there was no way to be sure and that there was hope. But back then, all Jungkook could think of was ways to avoid Mina the next day, especially when they sat next to each other in 3rd period biology.��
At 13 years old, Jungkook thought he would never find love again.
He is 18 when he stands alongside his parents in a pale examination room and awaits his destiny. He’s leaving for college the next day, yet the only thing that’s making him nervous is the mark that will inevitably appear on his wrist in the next few minutes. The same one he would find on his soulmate’s, and Jungkook wonders if there is the possibility of scaring everyone away when the first thing he’ll ask on a date is: can I please see your wrist?
To say the least, Jungkook is petrified. Because that mark on his wrist is going to serve as a constant reminder of his missing piece, and Jungkook knows he’ll always feel lacking until he finds them. It’s a crescent moon. Small and black and nestled comfortably on his skin. He knows many times the marks don’t have any correlation with the couples, but Jungkook wonders if you are an astrologist. Or an astronaut. Or just had a weird affinity for the moon. He smiles when they congratulate him and can’t stop himself from thinking that he might be in love with you already. Wherever you are. When he leaves for university, he feels less lonely when there is a crescent moon to accompany him.
Contrary to the beliefs of his 13-year old self, Jungkook does fall in love again. Hard. This time, it was a girl with brown hair and big eyes and a smile so pretty he could see it from across a crowded room. She was a grade below him; a frazzled college freshman with no clue to where her lecture hall was, and he: a sophomore who had a compulsion of changing his major every other month. When he met her, it had been chemical engineering and three weeks before that was film composition. Her name was Yoojung, 18 years old while he was 19.
Her soulmate mark is a single star, and even though he knows she is not his soulmate, he can’t help but to think how perfectly their marks complement each other. How they would make a perfect night sky.
They had met at a frat party, no less, and the combination of cheap booze and bad hiphop music had made her look so incredibly gorgeous under the dim lighting. They had their first kiss in a random person’s living room, highly intoxicated and much too irresponsible and Jungkook had barely even remembered it in the morning until she showed up at his doorstep and invited herself in. Yet it wasn’t too long before he made a perfect space for Yoojung in his life.
Each day after his physics lecture, he’d go to her dorm and they’d chat over breakfast until she had economics at 10 o’ clock. After she was done, he’d insist that they go get a greasy hamburger at the joint his friends took him to when they got high and, she’d end up dragging them both to the health food restaurant that prided themselves on only using organic. Leave it to Jungkook to find himself a vegan girlfriend.
Sometimes though, when he looks at Yoojung, his mind drifts to his actual soulmate and a little flower named guilt blooms in his chest. But he is so young and his other half could be anywhere in the world, so Jungkook thinks there is no harm in allowing himself to indulge in a little affection. These days, it wasn’t completely abnormal for soulmates to part ways, and when Yoojung is in his arms, Jungkook likes to think that his soulmate would understand. They would want him to be happy. In the middle of synchronizing their busy student schedules and sneaking in quick kisses through cramming for finals, he had found it unnervingly easy to fall in love with her.
Deeply and blindly in love.
Yoojung brought him home to her family on fall breaks and the occasional winter vacation and Jungkook had melded perfectly into their dynamic. The son I never had, her father would tell him over the dinner table while her mother constantly made sure his plate was piled high. Her little sister was visibly in love with him, and would ask Yoojung where he was every time she came home from university, yet avoiding him at all costs when he was there.
Jungkook’s own family, however, was a different story. To put it delicately, they had liked it more when he came home by himself and left her at school. It had put a strain on their relationship sure, but at the end of the day, Jungkook loved her. A simple love.
Every day he remembers that their marks do not match. But if this is love and he feels like he is on cloud 9 with every moment they are together, Jungkook begins to doubt if the universe’s will is truly divine and successful. Maybe Yoojung was his soulmate and it did not matter what was on their wrists.
He loved her intensely, and she did him. She was the first thing on his mind when he woke up and manifested in his dreams when he slept at night. To Jungkook, Yoojung could do no wrong. Like some sort of divine being or angel that the heavens sent just for him, and he found himself thinking maybe he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life beside her.
But he would come to learn that the higher the climb...the harder the fall.
Jungkook and Yoojung were together for the better part of 4 years before she cheated on him with a guy that she’d supposedly met a couple weeks ago. When Jungkook screams at her asking why she had been disloyal, Yoojung shows him her wrist. Her single inked star.
“I found my soulmate, Jungkook. And I love you so much, you know I do. I didn’t know how to tell you so I…”
The rest of her words fade into white noise and all Jungkook can do is look at her and commit every detail to memory as he feels her fade farther away. Her teary and remorseful brown eyes. Her plush lips. The fan of her eyelashes and the mole on the side of her temple. He’ll never get to see her like this again.
“I was ready to be with you, soulmate or not. I know it’s not fair but I wanted the same from you”, he whispers, falling down on the couch and burying his face in his hands.
“Soulmates be damned, the universe was wrong. I was so hideously in love with you. How could you not at least tell me when you met him?” Jungkook feels his heart collapsing in on itself with every word of resignation. Of burgeoning acceptance. Yoojung can only mirror his desolate expression and stares down at the star on her skin.
Jungkook wishes it were a moon.
“Just go, Yoojung.”
It would have hurt less if it was only a one night stand with a stranger she did not know the name of. He was in love and spineless enough to move past a one night stand. However, Yoojung had found her soulmate and fallen in love with him. Jungkook had merely acted as a placeholder for the real deal to come along and sweep her off her feet.
This time he doesn’t cry. Just stares out the window of his living room and wonders what it would be like to disappear altogether. When the door is slammed shut, and he is left to nurse his aching soul, Jungkook apologizes in advance to the person that shares the same mark on their wrist as him. He no longer believes that soulmates exist.
When Jungkook looks back at his 13 year old self with the innocent construct of what heartbreak feels like, he wants to laugh and maybe slap that stupid boy upside the head. Yoojung had destroyed him. Destroyed the innocent and starry-eyed person that he’s tried so hard to preserve. Destroyed his vulnerability and bright outlook on life and in their place, cultivated walls of rock and steel meant to keep everyone out and him safely tucked inside. In her wake, Yoojung left behind a shell of a man who pushed his emotions so deep he became numb and forgot what it was like to feel.
So Jungkook does what he always does to push away the hurt. He changes his major; to art history this time. He stacks up bracelets on his wrist to forget the mark of a moon. He scrapes up his rainy day money and treats himself to the most expensive pair of Saint Laurent boots he’s ever worn. He tests the limits of the human liver, and takes advantage of the biceps and jawline he’s acquired since high school to establish a reputation.
To his friends, Jungkook remained raucous and always down to order infinite rounds of shots until he couldn’t see straight. To those that looked even closer, Jungkook was so completely shattered he didn’t even feel it anymore.
The second time he had his heart broken, Jungkook was 23. He promised himself he wouldn’t let it happen again.
◐
“For the last time, Jimin, I’m not going to give you a blowjob so you can pay for my student loans.”
You don’t know how many times you’ve had this conversation with your roommate. Most of the time, it was convenient to have a roommate whose parents were loaded and sent him monthly installments that looked more like small loans than allowances. You knew he just wanted to help. Heck, he probably would be willing to pay them off for you without the promiscuous favor, but you had made it clear to Jimin that you wouldn’t be riding off of his charity.
“Ugh, Y/N you’re really no fun”, he sighs, falling backwards onto your twin-sized bed and feigning devastation. You reward his melodrama with a giggle, ruffling your hands through his fried hair. Jimin had a knack for changing his hair color as quickly as his mood.
You look at the bill that’s staring back at you from your computer screen, and it feels like it’s just reached out and punched you in the face. “Hey do you think it’s a common mistake for bank tellers to add a few too many zeroes?”
“Y/N.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m rationalizing as a self-defense mechanism.” Sometimes it was annoying that your roommate had a degree in psychology. Then again, Jimin was making more money than you and your degree in English.
You sigh deeply and look up at the ceiling in attempts to quell your tears of frustration. And also because it is a plea to whoever is up there controlling your destiny: please I’m begging you. Melt my debt away.
You and Jimin sit in comfortable silence and he plays with the hem of your worn comforter while you scroll through the emails you have been ignoring in your inbox. You want to smash your head in at all the deadlines. Times like these, there is one thing that brings you comfort and always has since you turned 18.
The quaint little crescent moon that sits right atop your radius.
You had a habit of pressing your thumb against it and feeling your pulse against the mark, stupidly wondering if your soulmate’s heartbeat has synched up with your own. If he was out there somewhere, touching his mark and wondering the same about you. He was taking his sweet time, that’s for sure. Jimin sees your nervous tic and sighs again.
“You’re so hopelessly romantic it makes me want to barf, Y/N.” You scowl at his words and chuck a pillow at his unsuspecting face.
“I don’t understand you, Jimin. Your soulmate is out there and you’re not the slightest bit curious? You don’t want to do anything extra to find them?” Jimin looks at you with a knowing smile.
“That’s exactly it, though. I know they’re my soulmate and I’ll find them when the time is right. So why worry about it? It’s better not to force anything.” His statement is followed up with a grin and his fingers reach out to pinch your cheeks. This was the dynamic of your friendship. He is easy-going and flows like a careless river. You’ve read one too many books to not vie and daydream for the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate.
Your mom always said that you’ll know just from a look. It’s like getting hit over the head with a ray of sun, she said. Like suddenly their eyes are the only eyes you ever want to look into again. Since then, you’ve dreamt for the day you find someone with that same moon on their wrist. For now though, you had more immediate concerns more along the lines of crippling debt.
“What do I do, Jimin? Should I be a stripper?” He laughs and the thought makes you groan. You couldn’t even walk in heels, much less try to dance or look like you didn’t have two left feet. Stripper life just wasn’t for you.
“Hm...I could call in a few favors for you at the office. Get you an internship or secretary position.”
“Maybe. Too much nepotism. Your father owns the office you work at”, you remind him, and his eyebrows crease further in thought. God, maybe you do have to be a stripper.
“Wait!” Jimin yelps so suddenly you almost fling the computer off your lap.
“I think I know someone. He’s been looking for a model for his art portfolio or something, and he said he’s willing to pay.” Jimin reaches for his phone and his thumbs type up a storm while you watch from the sideline.
“I think he mentioned it’s about a month-long project. You’d just have to be on call whenever a stroke of genius arrives.”
“That sounds great! I’m an amazing model!” you crow, to which Jimin giggles again.
“The several candids I have in my camera roll tell a different story, Y/N.” Naturally, he receives another pillow to the face. But you follow up with a cheery kiss to his cheek as you rejoice in the new opportunity for cash flow by a celebratory dance, which looks more like a wiggle when you remain seated on your bed.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, you chirped, “I owe you one.”
“Hey...I know how you can repay me.”
When you look towards him, his eyebrows are raised inquisitively and there’s a devilish smirk on his lips.
Jimin gets a third pillow to his face that day.
◓
Jungkook’s favorite type of arguments to get into is whether Neo-classicism or post-impressionism had the most impact on European art and architecture. Call him a snob, but he loves to prattle on about Degas and Caillebotte until his opponent tires or concedes out of pure exhaustion. Jungkook regards it as a battle strategy: bore your enemy so that they stop fighting.
He’s in the middle of a heated debate with his classmate from graduate school when he receives a phone call from Park Jimin. Now, Jungkook has no idea how or when Jimin became an installment in his life, or how he’s roped his way into his inner circle. He just remembers waking up one day with a killer hangover and finding that there was a pink-haired stranger lying on his floor. When he tried to shoo him out, the stranger shoved a wad of money in his shirt pocket, muttering “just five more minutes”, and Jungkook was in no position to deny easy cash. Jungkook now considers Jimin one of his close friends.
“What’s up, Jiminie?” He laughs into the microphone.
“I told you not to call me that, you brat. I’m older than you.”
“I’m taller than you.”
“My dick is bigger.”
“I-okay fine you got me there.” He hears Jimin wheeze over the line as he tries to rein himself in to say what he needs to say.
“In all seriousness, though. I have a proposition for you.” Jimin lilts in a mischievous tone, which makes Jungkook nervous enough to get up from the café table he had been sitting at with his friend and careen to a quieter corner.
“Shoot.”
“Okay, so you know how you were telling me about your portfolio for the gallery. The one you have to submit by the end of the season? How you needed a model on call 24/7 in case inspiration struck?”
Jungkook wants him to spit it out because he has been searching high mountains and low valleys for someone that would be willing to be his muse for a month or two. Constantly at his beck and call so he can finish this damn portfolio and get his name out there in the art world. Maybe start debating post-impressionism with the cream of the crop.
“I think I’ve found someone to do that for you.” Jungkook exhales in relief at his words.
“She’s my roommate and she’s super low on cash and unemployed with a bachelor’s in English literature, so she’s got time to spare.” Perfect. That way, Jungkook can call her whenever he needs to.
“That’s amazing, Jiminie. Can she meet me at the art building tomorrow at noon? We can start right away.” Jungkook breathes through the phone, a small weight coming off his shoulders now that another thing had been accomplished. One less thing he had to worry about on the journey to his goal. Jimin confirms the plans and they exchange pleasantries before Jungkook hangs up as the man on the other line starts screaming about his burning lunch on the stove.
Jungkook catches sight of the mark on his wrist when he looks down, and quickly rearranges his bracelets so that it is once again covered to his eyes. Out of sight and out of mind.
The gallery portfolio had been a thorn in his side. It had been months in the making and if he allows himself to reminisce, Jungkook remembers the nights he and Yoojung stayed up until dawn and talked about his blossoming interest in art. How he wanted a space of his own to display his works. Back then, she listened to him with stars in her eyes and basked in the afterglow of post-coital cuddling, promising that she would help him achieve it.
His heart sinks at the memory of the imprint of her tresses of hair spilling on his bedspread. He burned those sheets the second she left.
Jungkook represses his intrusive thoughts about Yoojung and wills her to get out of his head. He forces it down until it feels like he’s just dumped ice water over his heart and vomited out any semblance of emotion. He makes his way back to the cafe table with a sly smile that hides the internal ache he’s promised himself to never let anyone suspect of.
“So what were you saying about Renoir’s Moulin de la Galette?”
◑
The art building is situated besides a library, with a bakery flanking its left. Two years spent at the university, and you’ve never once stepped foot there. Maybe it was the daunting abstract sculpture on the front lawn or the prejudices you held against annoying art snobs on their high horses, but you often found yourself subconsciously avoiding the space in intimidation.
“Okay, Y/N, you’re going to do this so you can pay off your loans”, you whisper under your breath, words meant for your ears and no one else’s. “And if he asks you to pose nude, you run the opposite direction.”
It was easy to get lost in the building. For art students that know how to draw, they really took advantage of abstractionism to make the most confusing map you had ever seen in your life. Luckily, with some direction from the vapid front desk secretary and some intuition, you were able to to find room 62B. You don’t think you’ll be able to forget the number 62B if you tried, Jimin had screamed it to you so many times as you left the apartment.
The door soundlessly opens with a nudge of your hand and you stick your head inside.
“You know when Jimin told me he found me a model, he didn’t mention her lack of punctuality.” His voice is calm and subdued with no lingering annoyance, even if his words are uncourteous. You whip around to him and the first sight you see of Jeon Jungkook is merely a tuft of brown hair behind a vast canvas. And some expensive looking leather boots that anchor his feet to the ground.
You clear your throat and approach with an outstretched hand and the shiniest smile you can muster.
“I’m Y/N. Jimin’s roommate. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You can call me Jungkook.”
It is when he steps out from behind the canvas that you finally understand what your mother meant when she said meeting your soulmate feels like getting hit over the head with a ray of sunshine. You can’t describe it any other way, but that’s exactly what it feels like. Like the air becomes so sweet in your lungs it turns to viscous honey. Like suddenly the person standing in front of you is Valentine, encapsulated.
You know he feels it too, yet you don’t know why he forces himself to remain blasé, and if you hadn’t seen his widened eyes and heard the gasp from his lips you would have never suspected anything at all. Stranger courtesy is abandoned and you forcefully grab his wrist, turning it over to find his mark while pulling up your sleeve to reveal your own.
A little black crescent moon.
Right on the pulse point.
Just like your’s.
When you finally muster up the nerve to look into his eyes again, you wonder if it is healthy for the human heart to beat so fast and so thunderously it feels ready to jump out of your chest. Jungkook, however, still wears that same expression on his face. Flat and cold, not even a glimmer in his eyes. He stares at you disinterested and wrenches his wrist from your grasp.
“Wait, Jungkook...aren’t you….”, you sputter through a desperate smile, “aren’t you happy?” He stays silent and trains his attention on the canvas in front of him, but you can see the conflict that swirls in his iris.
“I’ve been looking for you for so long! And I’ve finally found you. In the art building no less, just my luck that-”
“Y/N, I don’t know what you expect from me but I’m not looking for anything right now.”
There were no objectively ugly words. But you think the ones that have just spewed from Jungkook’s lips come pretty close. They stoke a fire in your chest.
“What do you mean? We’re soulmates”, you faltered, sinking deeper into confusion as you stare at the unaffected man in front of you, whose only concern is the conglomerate of paint on his palette.
Jungkook sighs monotonously. Almost as if he had better things to do than be here.
“It’s only a mark on your wrist. And we just happen to have the same one. Amazing that you still think somehow one single person was made entirely just for you.” His words are bored and he doesn’t even have the decency to look you in the eye when he speaks. You think you might want to punch him if you weren’t so speechless.
“Look”, he sighs as if you were inconveniencing him, “I’m not going to sugarcoat it and tell you that I’m the one you’ve been looking for this whole time. We have the same mark, but...I’m not the guy you want.”
“B-But...I’m your soulmate. We-we’re made for each other.”
Jungkook scoffs harshly, and you want to sink into the ground. “That’s just a silly myth.”
“So you don’t...believe in soulmates?” The words felt wrong to say when all your life, finding your soulmate felt like the ribbon at the end of the finish line. But here he was now, and you felt so small under his gaze. Like you weren’t meant to be there and standing in the same room with him was a concoction for heartbreak.
“No.”
Jungkook’s syllable pangs in your ear, and you think it might be your least favorite sound. Then you leave. And if it was hard for you to meet your soulmate - the person who you’re destined to be with - who doesn’t believe in you, then walking away from him was a different cross to bear.
You take the bus home and ignore the glare of strangers when you burst into tears at a red light, and cry the rest of the way back. Your mother hadn’t described this. She prosed on and on about the feeling one gets after finding a soulmate but never mentioned to you how it feels when you find out they want nothing to do with you. What do you do when you realize the person you’ve been chasing for forever has been trying to run away at the same time?
Jimin holds you together that night on your bedroom floor, while you break apart and scratch at the moon on your wrist until your skin breaks. He listens to the words you sputter; as much as he can decipher when they are drowned out by the painful sound of your sobbing. Jungkook’s beliefs bleed into your consciousness. Perhaps he is right and perhaps there is no such thing as true soulmates, and the marks are obsolete.
However, when you fall asleep in your friend’s arms from the physical fatigue of violent crying and the sheer mental exhaustion of meeting Jeon Jungkook, your mind comes to a more painful conclusion.
A more truthful conclusion.
Your soulmate only needed to meet you to decide that he did not want you.
◒
Jungkook doesn’t believe in soulmates. He thinks they’re a stupid coy to give people false hope. An illusion to feign happiness and to take Yoojung away from someone she genuinely loved. Though in the hours of the night, when he is by himself and the bed feels too big for one body, Jungkook wonders if there is truly a reason why someone has an identical moon on their wrist. But he is still so broken and unhealed from the wounds Yoojung left behind.
So instead of soulmates, he thinks about what she must be doing. If she’s eating well. If she’s moved in with her own soulmate and if they’re happy together. Jungkook is an involuntary masochist and he pays for it with every pillowcase that becomes stained with his tears.
He sighs out an expletive after downing a shot of whiskey, relishing in the familiar burn as it slides down his throat. Alcohol doesn’t seem to be working efficiently, though. He’s only barely tipsy after years in college building tolerance, and he can still see your face each time he blinks. Like you are imprinted on the back of his eyelids. Jungkook wonders why Jimin had cancelled on the group tonight.
There is a little devil called remorse and it stands atop his shoulder, unseen by everyone but him, and Jungkook decides he will get rid of it by calling another round of shots. From his seat in the dirty booth, he can see Min Yoongi and his soulmate practically dry humping on the dance floor. If anyone asks him if he ever gets jealous seeing soulmates happy and in love, he’ll laugh in their face and tell them he pities people like that. People that are so blinded by the system. But loneliness is a stern mistress and it makes him think of you. How lovely the moon looks on your wrist. How your hand felt so warm when it caressed against his skin.
He tips his head back again. Vodka this time.
“Dude, are you okay?”
To his right comes Kim Taehyung, designated driver extraordinaire, and he looks at Jungkook with friendly concern laced with amusement. Jungkook nods contentedly.
“Soulmates are so bullshit, Tae”, he snickers, fingers tracing the rim of the shot glass and smirk on his face to mask the bitterness of both the alcohol and his heart. Taehyung spares a knowing glance, resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder with the weight of knowledge of Jungkook’s past.
The night is young and so is he. He drinks until he can no longer taste the liquor and forgets altogether about what had happened only a couple of hours before. Until the crescent mark on his skin just looks like a shapeless black blob, and it makes him smile. He thinks he likes it better that way.
Taehyung drops him home and personally tucks him into bed while he is still in jeans and his shirt smells like the bar. His sleep is dreamless that night. When the morning comes and his friends tease him about how he begged Taehyung not to leave, Jungkook will laugh and blame the alcohol for his foggy memory. He won’t tell them that he does remember, and that he was only grasping at any warm body to soothe his aching loneliness.
◐
Usually when he first opens his eyes in the morning, Jungkook is thinking about the next class he has to attend and if he is late (which is usually most of the time). This morning, albeit morbidly hungover, Jungkook thinks of the apple strudels they sell at the bakery next to the art building. Mrs. Kim always gets the pastry to filling ratio just right. But when he opens the door with a jubilant smile on his face and the scent of baked goods already in his nostrils, Jungkook has a feeling apple strudels will have to wait.
There you are. In all your messy-haired glory, huffing like a caged bull in the doorway of his apartment, fiery gaze directed completely at him and all he can think to say is:
“How do you know where I live?” Jungkook schools his face expressionless in your presence. He hopes this will discourage you, but it only makes you angrier.
“Park Jimin”, you snarl.
Of fucking course, it’s always Park Jimin. Jimin who drunkenly sleeps in his bedroom and now Jimin who is leaking his address to any stranger.
“Um”, Jungkook stammers and takes a step back, “what are you doing here? Didn’t I get my point through yesterday?” He can see the statement catching you off guard, and the fury in your eyes dwindles to dejection. Only for a millisecond though, before you are aiming your wrath at him once again.
You take a deep breath. “What is wrong with you?”
Jungkook can think of a lot of answers to that query. He opts to interpret it as a rhetorical question and keep his mouth shut.
“You just...found your soulmate! I’m your soulmate! And you don’t even want to get to know me? At all?”, you scream exasperatedly. Jungkook catches the gaze of a middle aged lady who is not-so-discreetly staring at the two of you, and pulls you inside his apartment by your arm. If you weren’t so frustrated, you would have been flustered at the physical contact.
“Listen. Soulmates don’t end up together all the time. I’ve told you I’m not really interested in anything right now and it’s not a priority”, he takes a breath through his passionate monologue, “and I’m sorry that that’s not something you expected, but I….don’t want a soulmate.”
Maybe...he just doesn’t want you.
When he says them out loud to a living breathing person, Jungkook realizes how cruel it sounds. He can see it in the way your eyes have become glossy under his living room lights and the way you shrink into yourself as self-defense against his blows. He rationalizes that he’d rather tell you the truth than lie to you now, only to hurt you later. Really, he’s doing you a kindness. Right?
You turn your back to him to gather your thoughts, and wipe the tears that you refuse to let him see. The salty drops sting the raw skin of your wrist after last night, and you are brutally reminded of the current reality. His brutal honesty makes you want to abandon all hope, but you were a woman with a plan. You came here for a reason, not to just lose your temper in your soulmate’s apartment and tell him what you really thought about him.
“I have a proposition for you”, you asserted calmly, staring Jungkook in the eye as he remains unbothered.
“Now I reckon something’s happened to you to make you lose all your faith in soulmates, so I’m not forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Your eyebrows furrow when you speak focusedly.
“We don’t have to be together. That’s your will. But…”, you hesitate, pushing past the uncertainty and fear of another rejection from Jungkook, “will you let me at least try? You don’t have to promise anything. Can we just start as friends?”
Naturally, Jungkook wants to shoot down your offer, kick you out of his apartment, and pretend like he never met anyone by the name of Y/N. Call it divine intervention but when he looks at you, pleading for any semblance of connection, he feels a tug at his heart strings. So Jungkook makes another promise to himself. He would let you “try”, whatever that entails. But there was no virtual possibility of letting you any closer than necessary.
You both stand in contemplative silence before he lets out a resigned sigh. “On one condition”, he responds slowly, but there is already a premature grin growing on your face and you don’t think you could stop it even if you tried.
“You still have to be my model for the art portfolio.”
You agree before he even gets to take another breath.
“Deal.”
When you finally make your way out of Jungkook’s apartment, parting ways with an awkward number exchange and a ‘see you later’, there is a simultaneous feeling of hope and desolation. The optimism for Jungkook combines with the insecurity that perhaps you, just as you are, is not nearly enough to make someone fall in love. Especially someone who disregards their soul connection to you.
You walk back to your apartment with a heavy heart that warms with embers of determination. Jeon Jungkook was an enigma. A Bastille fortress of self-defense mechanisms and destructive tendencies, and you know that there is unresolved pain. Call it a soulmate instinct or something, but you see it in his eyes. You see it in the way his face begs to show emotion but his mind refuses to acknowledge.
You know Jungkook is not obligated to accept you after the dust settles, much less fall in love with you. Under the peach blossoms of the campus sidewalk, you make a promise anyway. To yourself and to your soulmate and the silly little mark on the inside of your wrist. Even if he does not love you, you vow to help Jungkook learn to love himself.
◓
When you are harshly woken up at 5:30 in the morning, the last person you expected to be blowing up your phone was Jeon Jungkook. If it weren’t for the pure exhaustion seeping through your bones, you would have been excited about your soulmate calling you. Alas, slumber was your soulmate now. Jungkook would have to step down.
On the other side of the paper thin wall, Jimin is frustratedly banging from his room, your ringtone reverberating throughout the entire apartment. You pick up his call without even opening your eyes.
“Hello?”
“Y/N I need you to come to my apartment as soon as you can.” There is no sleepiness in his voice. Just clean and cold like it always is and he has hung up before you get the chance to scold him for waking you up at this unholy hour. You’re about to give him a piece of your mind but you remember he is paying you very handsomely for your efforts, and reluctantly drag yourself out of bed to call an uber. Thank god he doesn’t live too far away otherwise you’ll stick a foot through his canvas for the transportation bill.
The front of Jungkook’s apartment door is strangely therapeutic, and you find yourself falling asleep standing up after you’ve rung the doorbell. Either time passes too slowly when you are sleep-drunk or Jungkook moves to get the door as quickly as your grandfather does. Whatever the case, you are about to pass out on his doorstep if he doesn’t come soon.
“Y/N, why are you just standing there? The door has been open.”
“Jungkook. Why are you making me do this so early?”, you yawn, pushing inside the apartment.
Jungkook takes in your discombobulated appearance, and almost wants to laugh. You were still in your pajamas, and the bun on your head now looked more like a heaping blob that drooped down your temple. It was obvious that you had just rolled out of bed and he almost feels bad for disturbing your sleep, but he does not decide when his strokes of inspiration spontaneously appear.
The living room is bombarded with Jungkook’s art supplies and stray canvases, and you take note of the clay sculpting table that blends in as furniture next to his kitchen. You plop yourself down on the stool across from Jungkook’s easel, eyes still half closed and impossibly tired.
In this moment, Jungkook wipes the fact that you are his soulmate from his mind. He needs to do the portfolio. That is all he’s keeping you around for, and the only reason he agreed to your plan was so that you would remain his art model.
In the silence of his makeshift art studio, Jungkook paints whatever comes to his mind, referencing your figure on the stool for the curves he can never get right without a model and need for a human presence to translate onto his canvas. You become more lucid as time goes by and the sun starts to rise from outside his window, sitting up straighter and paying more attention to his concentrated face as Jungkook pours himself into his creation.
Looking at him in this light, you realize that he is beautiful. And not just because he’s your soulmate. Jungkook’s hair is scruffy and stubbled, undereyes sporting impressive dark circles. But the way he caresses the paintbrush and the way his body moves to the beat of the painting is poetic. He glances at you sporadically, eyes darting to and fro to capture as much as he can before the creativity burns out. He is beautiful and it makes your heart ache to know that he does not want you. In spite of the bond the universe has created.
You wonder if in his focused hazed, he notices the new glaze across your eyes and the silent sound of your soul calling out for his. You wipe away the first dripping tear as quickly as it came. You know Jungkook sees, but does not bat an eye and you can’t tell if you’d rather prefer him to acknowledge it.
It’s 8:00am when he puts the paintbrush down, takes a step back, and surveys his work. His eyes trail over each organic line and areas where he decided to use burnishing instead of cross hatching. It’s far from perfect, but it’s enough.
“Okay. You’re free to go”, he announces, plucking the painting off the easel and resting it against the wall, hidden from your eyes.
“W-What? That’s it?”, you sigh disappointedly, “you’re not even going to let me see it?” Jungkook shrugs. His detachedness makes you want to rip your hair out and sob into your pillow at the same time. You don’t understand how a person could be so unfazed.
“S’not ready for debut. Thanks for showing up, though.” He doesn’t spare you another glance. Just goes back to cleaning his brushes and dumping out the glasses of murky paint water. You ignore the twinge of hurt in your chest and slide off the stool.
“Okay, fine. Now it’s my turn. Would you like to go have some breakfast?”, you smile expectantly to Jungkook, who stares at you with an indifferent gaze. His first instinct is to make up a half-assed excuse to get out of this, eager to detach himself from you as much as possible and avoid any more interaction. However, he was insanely hungry, and the glimmer in your eye just looks so hopeful even Jungkook couldn’t bear to shoot you down.
He sighs with resignation. A little breakfast couldn’t hurt, and he wasn’t going with you necessarily. You were just...going to the same cafe in the same direction as him and likely sitting at the same table. Yeah, that’s it.
“Hurry up, I’m hungry.”
“Wait...actually?”
You blinked in shock at his lack of resistance.
“Yes. Now come on. I know a place with really great apple strudels.”
You weren’t aware that by ‘breakfast’, Jungkook actually meant sitting in complete silence and wolfing down food like your life depends on it. You want to be grossed out when he inhales 3 apple strudels in less than 10 minutes, crumbs flaking on his shirt without a care in the world. Yet you just feel endeared. The sight makes you smile. And maybe if Jungkook did not detest you, you would have leaned over and kissed the cinnamon sugar right off his lips.
“So….”, you sip on a sweet coffee, “Jimin told me you’re going for a masters in art history?”
Jungkook nods halfway through a bite of his pastry. “Yup.”
“Is it something you’re really passionate about?” you inquire, desperately wanting the conversation to delve into something that wasn’t so surface level.
“Uh huh.”
“What are some other things you’re interested in besides art?”
“Totally.”
Jungkook is completely clueless. He only spares glances to the windows and occasional looks to his oh so precious breakfast treats. You want to slap him and be angry, but you only sigh. It shouldn’t be so hard to talk to your soulmate, yet it felt like trying to pull teeth when he was so completely disinterested in you. You wonder if this is worth it.
You look up at him from your steaming cappuccino cup and use your wildcard.
“In my opinion, Botticelli’s Birth of Venus did little for the Italian Renaissance movement.”
Your statement almost has Jungkook falling backwards in his chair and choking on a piece of fruit filling, eyes growing as wide as saucers when he finally processes what you just said. A flaming insult to the entire art historian community.
“What do you know about Botticelli?”, he sneers, and you internally celebrate for this is the most emotion Jungkook has shown since meeting you.
“I know that his work supposedly epitomizes the spirit of the Renaissance”, you swirl the coffee in your cup nonchalantly, lips curving into a knowing smirk. “But if you ask me, Bellini’s San Giobbe Altarpiece did much more to encapsulate the values of 15th century Italy.”
Jungkook’s speechless expression is one that you want to take a snapshot of and frame it to your wall. It is glorious, and arguably more artful to you than Botticelli himself. So what, you had conveniently forgot to mention to him about the class you took junior year of college, with a professor that made you engrave the fundamentals of Italian painting in your brain. It’s so much more gratifying to see him stunned silent.
Across the table from you, Jungkook feels a warm smile itching to display itself. Before it can appear, he disguises it as a cold smirk. He feels something akin to a butterfly at the pit of his stomach, but blames it on indigestion and the inhuman pace at which he devoured his breakfast. Yeah that must be it. There was no way he was feeling butterflies.
He cracks his knuckles, raises his cup to gulp down a lukewarm green tea, and rests his elbows on the table separating the both of you.
“I don’t suppose you could tell me your thoughts on the influences of neo-classicism in the 18th century?”
◑
“No, Y/N, turn to your left a little”, Jungkook frustratedly sighs behind the camera lens.
“Your left or my left?”
He pauses. “....left.”
To any outside eye, you and Jungkook look like two buffoons trying to take pictures on what might possibly be the windiest day of the season, under the peach blossom trees. Jungkook had called you earlier that day and stressed about how he needed mixed media in his beloved portfolio, and photographs were the next topic of interest. Though you couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just set out a fruit bowl on his windowsill and call it still life photography.
Jungkook stares down at his camera, dissatisfaction clear on his face. You almost want to apologize for your abhorrent modeling skills but hey, he was the one that chose you.
“Hmm...try staring at that boat in the distance”, he dictates, standing beside you and aiming the lens at your side profile. You do as he asks, but don’t hear the shutter of the camera. Jungkook sighs again and leans forward, so close you could feel his warm breath hitting your skin. You hope he doesn’t notice the beet blush on your cheeks.
Jungkook’s hands meet your chin when he uses it to slightly tilt your face downwards. He positions you in the way that he wants you to pose and you finally understand why photography is considered an art. Because it’s almost as if Jungkook is molding you like clay, to get the silhouette he wants to capture with his camera lens. The day is brisk, but his skin on your’s lights you on fire.
“Okay, that’s…..that’s perfect”, Jungkook breathes, hurriedly picking up the camera that had been hanging onto his neck by the strap and angling it. At the moment his index finger presses down on the button, there is a gust of wind that surrounds the both of you.
The breeze loosens a strand of your hair and it falls into your eyes. You let your eyes drift close for a second, smiling into the cold air that tingles on your skin. Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat and he thanks the skies for the howling wind so you wouldn’t be able to hear his thumping heartbeat. But surely it’s only because it’s cold. And absolutely nothing else. Jungkook coughs inconspicuously to snap himself out of his trance, sighing in relief when he realizes your eyes are still closed and that you hadn’t noticed his internal struggle.
He drags you to a bridge next and makes you lay on the cold wood to which you vehemently object before you remember that he’s paying you and that you want him to fall in love with you, not dislike you more than he already does. After the bridge, Jungkook makes you kneel beside the park pond and dip your hand in the icy water and you find yourself wanting to do the same thing to his precious camera.
Before the two of you have realized, the sun sets into the horizon and tinges the sky in a combination of purples and pinks that Jungkook himself has a hard time replicating on canvas. He aims his lens at the clouds and takes a picture that he knows won’t make it into his gallery. He just felt the need to have something to remember this day by. For no reason in particular…
A buzzing coming from your coat pocket alerts you both of the time that has passed and how the sky has considerably darkened since you began the session. When you fish your phone out, Jimin’s contact photo is staring back at you while the marimba ringtone continues playing. You put the phone on speaker.
“Hey Jiminie”, you smile and Jungkook catches a glance of it. And the discomfort in his chest is definitely, 100%, not jealousy. Not at all.
“I told you not to call me that! What is with you younger people and your disrespect for the elderly?” The corner of Jungkook’s lips twitch into a subtle smile at the similarity of your’s and his conversations with Jimin.
“Okay, okay, grandpa. What’s up?”
“Can you come home ASAP? I may or may not have broken the stove trying to make soup.”
The redundancy of his confession makes you sigh, as Park Jimin desecrating your shared kitchen space was not a rare occurrence by any means.
“I’ll be right there”, you chided through the line, “please do not cook anything else before I arrive.”
“Thanks Y/N-ie, you’re the best!” Jimin’s voice is far too cheery and you make a mental note to nag him a little extra when you get home. The phone call is ended promptly and you turn around to Jungkook, eyes widening in surprise when he has already packed up all his photography gear. The sky had turned dark and the streetlights had been turned on to illuminate the park. If you had craned your neck upwards, you would have noticed the stars that awoke again to shine down upon the city. But you didn’t. You only saw the stars that were twinkling in Jungkook’s eyes.
“Uh”, he stammers, “I’ll walk you home. It’s late.”
“Oh! Uh...Thanks.” Though he was still cold and indifferent, your heart jumped in elation. Perhaps this could be considered baby steps.
The trip home is quiet, only the sounds of your tandem footsteps on pavement and the rustle of a breeze through tree leaves fill the space of silence. But the quiet is not uncomfortable. Just a bit awkward as you two try to figure out how to be around one another. Jungkook’s hands are shoved in his pockets and your fingers itch to intertwine themselves around his own. To press your soulmate marks together and feel them calling out to each other. But you and Jungkook are anything but normal soulmates. For you are already head over heels in love with him and he is adamant on not sparing you a crumb of affection.
To your disdain, the apartment was closer than you thought and the short walk with Jungkook ended before it really even began. You could practically hear Jimin’s impatience emanating from the third story of the building.
“So I’ll see you later?”, you smile meekly. Jungkook readjusts the strap of his camera bag before nodding. He is walking away before you turn around to enter the apartment building and even though it was something small and mundane, you wished he would have waited to see you get in safely. You make your way inside, more downcast than you had been before.
You don’t see when Jungkook turns around. You don’t feel the reassurance that washes over him when the door shuts safely behind you.
That night, Jungkook is reminded far too much of Yoojung. When he goes to make his usual chamomile, he finds her mug at the very back of the tea cabinet. She must have forgotten it when she packed up her stuff. When he spoons in the sugar, he remembers how Yoojung drinks her tea with honey instead. And when he feels himself start to fall apart, he remembers how Yoojung is not there to keep him together.
Jungkook pushes away his pain, abandons the lukewarm mug of tea, and opts for an early bedtime to sleep away the ache. The camera sitting on his nightstand, though, beckons him to look over the photos you both had taken that afternoon.
In the moment, he had been dissatisfied with the pictures, always thinking there must be a better angle or a better position you could shift into. However when he looks down at his camera now, in the quiet and solemnity of his bedroom, Jungkook can’t help but to think they are absolutely perfect.
He doesn’t know whether to credit his own artistic skill or you; for breathing life into his photographs. It’s the lines of your hands, the slope of your nose, and the stray strands of your hair that makes his pictures more human.
The ones he ends up picking though, are not perfectly staged and not the ones where he made you change the position of your stance for 10 minutes. No, the best pictures were the ones he took without you noticing. When you had just been enjoying the cool breeze or admiring the beauty of peach blossom season. When you point out a cool looking bird and when you stared annoyedly past the cameras lens (at him no doubt).
Yoojung is gone from his mind for just a tiny fleeting moment. For little reason at all, Jungkook finds himself smiling. And there is only the company of the moon to see it.
◒
It is ten o’ clock in the morning and Jungkook comes to a realization that in the couple weeks since he has met you, he has sighed more times than he has in the past 23 years of life. Jungkook sighs when you text him first thing in the morning about the dream you had the night before and describe it in painfully vivid details. He leaves them unanswered. Sometimes he wished you would just email him the google document instead. He sighs when you fidget in your seat when he’s trying to paint and keep focus, but you are only interested in asking him the snacks he has in his fridge or when he’s going to finish. He sighs when you and Jimin collectively trash his art studio by spamming his $1,000 camera with ugly face pictures and sword fighting with his sable paint brushes. Jungkook often has a hard time believing that both of you are in graduate school.
Today, he sighs when you bombard into room 62B of the art building; what is supposed to be Jungkook’s completely zen and peaceful creative space. You are tiptoeing around him as you always do, scared that you’ll do something to set him off and your soulmate will disown you for good. He glances at you once, eyes quickly darting back to the sculpture he is molding on the clay table and saying nothing.
“There’s a new cafe that just opened right across from the apple strudel place”, you gulp tensely. “I was gonna go check out the competition.” Your words seem deaf to Jungkook’s ear and he only furrows his eyebrows, fingers fussing over the mass of clay. There was just something he couldn’t get right. He didn’t know what it was.
Jungkook pushes away the sculpture frustratedly, wipes his hands on his apron, and finally looks at you. Maybe he did need a break and come back to it with fresh eyes. That’s all it was, though. A break. He wasn’t going because you asked him to.
“They better have blonde roast otherwise you’ll be compensating me for my time.” Jungkook is as ruthless and blunt as ever and you decide to look past it as you always do. Him agreeing to go with you was a mini success.
“Welcome in! You’ve stopped by at the perfect time. The strawberry scones have just been taken out of the oven!” The cafe employee is far too enthusiastic for receiving minimum wage and greeting grumpy people off the streets who just want to be caffeinated. His name tag reads Jung Hoseok.
“Oh, strawberry is my favorite”, you whisper, the statement only meant for your ears but Jungkook picks up on it anyway. He declines to tell you that strawberry is his favorite as well. Hoseok’s eyes light up when you and Jungkook approach the entrance, like he finally succeeded at luring a customer.
The cafe isn’t anything special. A bit more modern compared to the one across the street and you think you prefer the latter because this new one doesn’t have the owner’s handsome son standing at the cash register. He may not be your soulmate, but even you had to admit Kim Seokjin was a beautiful man if there ever was one. However, this cafe is warm and has ceiling length windows that let in an obscene amount of sunlight. Jungkook makes a mental note to try some pictures here in the future.
Jungkook’s phone buzzes in his pocket and you are already leaving him behind in the dust, walking straight to the counter and peering up at the menu deep in thought. You turn around to see that he is immersed in mysterious conversation, and take it upon yourself to order him a drink.
“I’ll have a matcha latte. And uh…”, you decide, trailing off as you wonder what kind of drink Jungkook would enjoy. “And an iced vanilla mocha latte, extra whipped cream, extra chocolate syrup. Do you guys have rainbow sprinkles?”
A little sugar never hurt anyone. Especially someone so often bitter like your one and only soulmate.
When Jungkook hangs up and makes his way to the corner table where you are situated, the sight of the concoction on the table is enough to give him an instant cavity. You hide your smile behind the mug of matcha. He grumbles and sits down swiftly, sticking the straw past his lips in defiance and you can only watch expectantly.
“Well…do you like it?”
This is when Jungkook realizes you didn’t order this to spite him. You just had completely zero idea what he liked and disliked and chose the first thing you thought was best. As cold as he is, he doesn’t have the heart to tell you that when he drinks coffee, he likes it black. No cream, no sugar, and the darkest roast with the most caffeine to push him through those nights spent in front of a canvas or over a clay table.
Jungkook fights to keep steady from the ambush of sugar and wills himself to swallow it down. There is sticky chocolate syrup on his hands and it feels cosmically more uncomfortable than paint. But Jungkook manages to look up at you and nod, to which you reward with a smile.
“I knew you would like it”, you say smugly, giving yourself a mental pat on the back. “You look like you have a giant sweet tooth.” There is a mellow giggle that follows your statement. Jungkook feels a flutter at the bottom of his stomach, and convinces himself it’s only because it sounds so much like Yoojung. He catches sight of the moon on your wrist, and pushes the feeling away even farther.
The two of you spend the rest of the midday there, tucked away in a corner of a cafe and losing track of time as you always do. Jungkook finds himself forgetting about the mountains of work he has to do to finish his art gallery portfolio, and the unfinished sculpture back at the studio that’s just not right.
Today, he allows himself to enjoy your presence and get to know you more. Your favorite color is yellow. You had a dog named Benny when you were a child. You detest beer with a passion, but enjoy a nightly glass of pinot grigio. Jungkook barely notices when the entire cup of coffee has disappeared. Every last rainbow sprinkle.
On second thought, he feels that maybe there was something sweeter than his unexpectedly delicious iced vanilla mocha latte with extra whipped cream. Maybe that something was sitting right across from him, rambling about the fundamentals of English literature with unexplained vigor.
Jungkook’s soul feels lighter when he goes to bed that night. And when he finally succumbs to Morpheus, his last lucid thought is of you; sun beams coming from the large cafe windows that comb through your hair. He looks at you through his mind’s eye and all he can see is the potential heartbreak you have the power to put him through. The fan of your eyelashes. The curve of your smile. The plush of your lips. All he can see is Yoojung as she crushes his soul in her bare hands.
Yet in the midst of his internal conflict, Jungkook’s subconscious allows him to fall in love with you a little bit. Perhaps not love just yet, but affection. Like a toe dip in uncharted waters or sticking his finger in a bowl of creamy cake batter just for a taste. The walls he has built are still there, strong as ever, but perhaps a couple bricks look a bit askew. He doesn’t know, but his soul calls out to your’s through the fortress.
◐
“Y/N I don’t know why you thought this was a good idea.”
“Oh hush, just close your eyes and point where your heart tells you to.”
In the lobby of a train station, facing a map and an ETA board is where you and Jungkook will be embarking on your next “date but not really because you don’t believe in soulmates so let’s just hang out”. It had taken a good two hours of nagging and whining on your part to convince him to abandon his portfolio for just a little bit to go an outing. Now standing here, with you excitedly bouncing next to him and a mystery destination, Jungkook feels something akin to utter regret.
“What if I choose somewhere that’s a thousand miles away? Or just in the middle of nowhere?”, Jungkook groans, still putting up an unbothered and cold front.
“Well then we will go somewhere that’s a thousand miles away or in the middle of nowhere”, you quipped back at him. Jungkook had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to get out of this one.
He reluctantly places a hand over his eyes, sighing with resignation before pointing to a random spot on the map. There is a giggle that sounds to his left and Jungkook finds himself wanting to hear more.
“Wonderful choice”, you smiled, “couldn’t have picked it better myself.”
Jungkook peeked his eyes open one at a time, scared of seeing what his intuition has chosen for your guys’ spontaneous destination. He breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees that his fingers landed on a town on the outskirts of the city, 20 minutes away from the university. He silently thanks the universe for not sabotaging his wallet and time.
“We’re never doing this again, Y/N”, Jungkook speaks as you are in front of him, skipping happily to the front desk to buy two train tickets.
“Wasn’t it fun, though? The thrill?”, you chuckle at his demeanor, to which he only shakes his head vehemently. You note the newest thing you’ve just learned about Jungkook: he has an aversion to uncertainty and spontaneity.
The train ride was as brief as it was uneventful. You spent the time rambling to Jungkook about all the quips and quirks about yourself and he only listened. Though he kept quiet, his face was free of any annoyance or indication that you were speaking too much. Jungkook only stared at you and unknowing to you, he soaked in every bit of information like a sponge. If anyone asked, he could tell them what foods you were allergic to, what colors wash you out, and what vegetables you hated the most.
“Wow you didn’t have to pick somewhere so far away, Jungkook.” You muse as the two of you step out of the train car. So far away in fact, that if you were to crane your head up enough, you would be able to see the university from a distance.
“Hey, you were the one who made me choose”, Jungkook spares a rare smile, “Would you rather we have shelled out our wallets to go on an 18-hour train ride?”
“Okay, fair point.”
The city was as abundant as it was big, and the both of you walked aimlessly from avenue to avenue, stopping occasionally whenever you see a dog you just can’t help but to pet or whenever Jungkook complained about his sore feet. As cold and indifferent as Jungkook made himself out to be, you’ve quickly come to realize that he’s actually a big baby. He still hasn’t let you in or even lowered his walls by a tiny centimeter, but you like to think that even agreeing to go anywhere with you could be considered significant progress.
Jungkook doesn’t notice the pounding of his heart whenever his hands graze against your’s, walking side by side so close he can feel the heat emanating through your coat. He doesn’t notice the peace he feels, just the synchronicity of his feet as he places them on the pavement.
The fraught wind that blows straight at Jungkook’s face prompts him to look up from where his eyes were cast on the ground. He almost staggers at how strong it is, but finds himself weak in the knees for a completely different reason.
Of course.
Of all the days, of all the times, of all the people in this entire city.
Of course she had to be the one that was currently staring at him from across the intersection.
The red light seems to go on forever. Either that or time has just spontaneously frozen, Jungkook can’t tell. But his eyes are fixed on hers and his feet bolster him to the concrete when all he wants to do is sprint the other way and forget he ever saw this ghost from the past.
Yoojung looks as beautiful as the day she left him.
She’s gained some weight and her cheeks have filled out, but it looks healthy on her now (Jungkook always chided her for forgetting to eat). She stares at him with a combination of shock and guilt and something he wants to overthink into affection but he won’t give himself that satisfaction anymore. She dyed her hair. Light brown looks good on her.
She looks...happy. As happy as anyone can look when they’re rushing through thick crowds of a city, traffic horns blaring like a dilapidated symphony.
In the heat of it all, it’s impossible for you not to notice Jungkook’s sudden change in demeanor or the way he has suddenly stopped breathing. When you follow his gaze, there is a girl on the other side of the street that shares the same starstruck expression and even from the outside looking in, you can feel the weight of something painful in his eyes. In her stature.
When the lights turn green, the throngs of city dwellers migrate across and you stay beside Jungkook when he doesn’t move a muscle. Not even a finger twitch. But she does. And he can only fight to keep the ache away when Yoojung gets closer with every millisecond. Until she is standing right in front of him and he can smell her familiar vanilla perfume.
“Jungkook”, she speaks, apprehension in her voice. “It’s been a while...how are you?”
Yoojung only spares you a side glance while keeping attention on Jungkook and you only grow more curious as to who this strange woman is.
He wants to speak so badly but his tongue remains frozen. He turns to you with flabbergast in his eyes and shakes his head to snap out of the daze of confusion. Of seeing the love of his life again. Or who he thought was the love of his life.
“Could you give us a minute, Y/N?”
You didn’t know why but the words that came from his lips made you feel disappointed. Perhaps you were just stupid for thinking he would introduce you. Tell her that you’re his soulmate and scream it at the top of his lungs with sheer pride. But your imagination has hurt you countless times and you had a feeling this one wouldn’t be the last. You manage a curt nod and push away the twinge in your heart. There was a boundary between you and Jungkook and today was not the day to cross it and introduce yourself as his soulmate to any random stranger.
Once you are out of vicinity and have found solace in a bookstore 10 feet away, Jungkook allows himself to breathe in Yoojung’s presence.
“I didn’t know if you were still in the city”, he falters, voice coming out quieter than he would have liked it to. But what was he supposed to sound like confronting the supposed love of his life.
“I never left, Jungkook...my entire life is here.” She sighs, smiling lightly with eyes seeping with guilt.
He scoffs. “I don’t know Yoojung, you seem to leave behind important things pretty easily.” Jungkook feels himself getting angrier and resentful by the second, and though he knows it is unfair of him, Yoojung’s mere presence brings back all the wounds he never truly healed from.
Granted, on a concrete sidewalk next to a traffic light pole was not the best place to have a heart to heart about failed relationships. But when has the universe ever given Jungkook the best things in life. He is devastatingly cynical for someone who dedicates his career to art.
Yoojung wears a frown on her face, but there is no vindictiveness there. Just an overwhelming sense of remorse that Jungkook communicates as pity.
“I don’t know how else to say that I’m sorry”, she sighs, eyes falling to the ground. Jungkook wishes it would just open up and swallow him whole.
“Then don’t say anything.” He turns to walk away.
“Wait! Jungkook can we...can’t we catch up or something? For a couple minutes?” Yoojung is visibly desperate, and her hands are outstretched as if wanting to touch him but keeping herself from overstepping the line.
Jungkook glances through the window of the bookstore, and you are situated on a chair, already nose deep in a hefty book. He wants to smile and tease you for being such a nerd, but the weight of Yoojung’s presence makes him reinforce those walls of indifference tenfold.
He exhales frustration and inhales temptation, looking back into Yoojung’s familiar eyes and nodding. Jungkook walks to a nearby bench and sits down with no words exchanged, looking forward coldly even when he feels her warmth next to him. A couple months ago, Jungkook would have set all his canvases on fire to feel her beside him again. Now, he’s not so sure.
“So…”, she starts, “who’s that cute girl you were with?”
“No one.” He shoots out a little too soon with no hesitation. Yoojung gulps.
“You know Jungkook, it’s okay to find someone. I-I know I hurt you, but I’m glad if you’ve found someone who doesn’t.” Jungkook doesn’t say anything so she continues.
“I’m really happy for-”
“I never really forgave you Yoojung.” He stares blankly at the passersby and tries to ignore the ache in his bones. The one that’s been there the day she left and took a piece of his heart with her.
“And I don’t want to blame you for my decisions but I want you to know that I push away a lot of people because of you. People that don’t deserve it.” From the corner of his eye, he can see her nod solemnly to his words and fidget with her hands in her lap. Part of him feels guilty for unloading on Yoojung. Part of him feels like maybe he deserves to.
“What you did was really shitty. Astronomically fucking shitty. And I’ve spent the past eternity hating you and maybe I still do, but…”, Jungkook takes a deep breath, “I want to forgive you now. If not fully, then partially. I hope you can understand that.” He finally tilts his head to look at her and though the smile on her face is as beautiful as he remembers it to be, Jungkook no longer feels the longing. No longer feels the sting that he usually does when his thoughts take him back to the years they spent together.
Jungkook doesn’t want to call it closure, not yet anyway. Sitting here on the bench, he still wants to scream and yell and tell Yoojung of all the nights he’s spent alone since she left. He still wants to drag her back and wonder if she could love him again like she used to.
But he doesn’t. He listens when she tells him about her new job and her new apartment right by the lakeside. They share snippets of their separate lives. Just deep enough to rekindle something warm but shallow enough to not invite anything else in.
When he walks away from the bench and into the bookstore, Jungkook stills feels the walls that he has built around himself. He is still scared of opening up and being vulnerable but the anger held for Yoojung for so long is no longer a raging fire. More so a wickering flame.
When he spots you, though, he remembers why he built those walls in the first place. He remembers how easy it used to be for him to climb a high peak and fall to his demise. Your eyes widen when you catch sight of him, lips curling into a wide smile and clear excitement in your expression. The book in your hands is tossed aside and tunnel vision reserved for him and him only. Something blooms in his chest and he can’t remember the last time someone’s been so elated to just simply see him...aside from his dog. Jungkook reminds himself to act uncaring. If he pretends long enough, he’ll start to believe it himself.
◓
The train ride home feels longer than the one there. The minutes drag by and perhaps it is because of your drooping eyes or the way Jungkook is looking at you with a different tenderness than he has been before. His stare is not harsh. It’s soft and sweet, but subtle enough for you to wonder if you are just imagining it. The night has always been unforgiving and cold even in the spring, but perhaps all that’s needed to breathe some warmth, is a 15 minute train ride and a wrist with a crescent moon.
Yet every time you become more smitten with Jungkook, there is a harsh reminder that follows you everywhere like a designated storm cloud.
Jungkook does not love you. And you are trying and you will continue to try but his eyes tell you something he is too courteous to say. You see it now as he sits across from you and admires the skyline from the window. It makes you wonder if it is soulmates he doesn’t believe in, or if it is just you that he can’t bring himself to accept. With every cold glance and wall that he puts up, you start to convince yourself that it is the latter.
“We’re here, Y/N”, Jungkook speaks quietly, interrupting your drifting thoughts. He turns around and leaves the train car with hands tucked in his coat pocket. Did you expect him to escort you out and hold your hand? Of course not. But you were tired of Jungkook being so indifferent to your existence.
You follow him glumly out the doors that slide close after you step through. Then it zips off again and you wonder where it would have taken you if you just stayed in your seat. If Jungkook would have even noticed that you hadn’t followed him when he left.
You sigh into the night air and wish it was winter so that your breath could be visible as a white cloud. Maybe then Jungkook would notice that you were a living being beside him.
“Who was that girl that we met back there?”, you murmur hesitantly. Jungkook nearly chokes on air.
“No one”, he responds curtly, effectively cutting off the conversation then and there. It makes your heart sink. She must be important and all you want to do is know every single detail about their relationship, but the look in his eyes warn you to not pry.
You don’t think you can forget the way Jungkook looked at her from across the street. Like he had been lost this whole time and she was the North star. You saw the way his eyes twinkled in the midday sun and sparkled even more when she came closer. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to have that effect on him.
“Hey, next time you should pick a place you and I both do not live in”, you giggle, nudging his shoulder with your own. It makes him smile and even though your heart feels heavy in your chest, Jungkook looks so beautiful when he smiles.
The two pair of feet subconsciously carry you both to the front door of your apartment building and the scene is too familiar from the last time. You expect him to turn around and whisper a hushed goodnight under his breath, and you’ll have to watch the back of his head disappear down the street. But he doesn’t. Just stands across from you quietly and waits for you to say something. So you do.
“Jungkook, I’m sorry if I brought up something you didn’t want to remember. I don’t really know your story but it seems you two have a lot of history.” You want to tell him how hard it is for you to be his soulmate when he is so clearly vying for the warmth of someone else. Someone who didn’t have a crescent moon on her wrist.
“I know you’ll tell me whenever you’re ready, and if that’s never then I’ll keep waiting until forever. But I’m here if you want to talk or unload and I already know I can help because…” you fidget with your hands and look around nervously.
“Well, because I’m your soulmate.”
When you say it loud and explicitly, Jungkook thought the statement would have made him recoil. But it doesn’t. It just seeps through his consciousness and feels warm when he thinks about the weight of those words. You are his soulmate, regardless of if he believes in such a thing or not. You carry the same mark as he does on your wrist and somehow, by some intangible factor, the universe had decided that you were created for him and he for you.
And when he looks at you. Really looks at you. When Jungkook processes your sincere words and how you manage to deal with his insurmountable boundaries even when you barely know him…
Jungkook has never wanted to kiss you more.
So he does.
Your lips taste like mint chewing gum and the ghost of words you wish to tell him but can’t. He feels you stiffen until you completely melt in his hold, and Jungkook cradles your face with both his hands, pulling you closer to him until there is no barrier between you but the clothes on your back and the emotional distance. You feel so far away even when you’re this near. Was it a trick of your imagination when you felt the moon on your wrist tingling?
It doesn’t last as long as you would’ve liked it to. Jungkook yanks his hands from you like your skin scalded him and takes several steps back. His chest rises up and down violently when his breath comes out ragged, posture stiffening as the gravity of what just happened finally absorbs. You’re there, he knows you’re there and standing in front of him. So why is it he can only see Yoojung. Yoojung and the star on her wrist and apologies on her lips. Yoojung and the tears in her eyes when she walks away.
You can only stare confusedly when his body goes rigid, and a sudden coldness envelops you both.
And in the haze of post-embrace, like any two normal lovers, you catch something in his eyes that sets a heavy feeling in your stomach. Before you can confirm if it’s just a trick of the light, Jungkook is already running in the opposite direction and you can only see a shadow of sullen love that follows him. He is gone and you are standing alone, wondering how moonlight could feel so cold even on a spring night.
You don’t get any sleep that night. Every time you close your eyes, there is only the sight of Jungkook’s disgust and regret to lull you to dreams.
20 minutes away from your apartment, there is a boy who doesn’t sleep either. He won’t text or call to tell you that he can’t shake off the feeling of your skin on his and your breath fanning his cheek. He won’t admit to himself that tonight, when he looked at you, he felt the possibility of falling in love. He won’t tell you that the moon on his skin longs to be traced by your hands. No, he just shares those secrets with his pillow as its linen soaks up his tears.
In the midst of it all, there is one verdict that becomes clear to him.
Jungkook wishes he had never told Jimin he needed a muse.
◑
The next three weeks is dedicated to trying to get in touch with your soulmate. Through the whirlwinds of utter confusion and desperation, you try texting, calling, emailing, even showing up at his art studio and apartment to no avail. It seemed he had a talent for avoiding soulmates.
It hurt, to say the least. That he left you high and dry after giving you the most intense
kiss of your life and doesn’t even have the decency to let you know he’s alive. The feeling of his lips still burns on your skin and you wonder if you are a complete fool for being so smitten with a person who, quite possibly, hasn’t spared you a single thought after that night. You just want - no you just need some clarity.
Jungkook makes you wait another week before replying.
It is an impossibly sunny day when you wake up. Your neck is stiff from sleeping like a contortionist and your heart aches even more than your muscles with every passing morning with radio silence from your soulmate. You want to call him and tell him you’re sorry. That you’ll forget anything ever happened. It hurts to even think about it, but for Jungkook, you would go through a little more pain so he would let you into his life.
Outside the hall, Jimin is singing along to a familiar melody of a song you don’t know the name of and judging by the aroma that wafts through the cracks of your door, he has successfully made a pot of coffee. He has been an anchor throughout this whole thing, and sometimes you make a secret wish to the stars that Jimin had been the one with a crescent moon on his wrist instead. Perhaps that way, you wouldn’t have to go through the agony of chasing love that is constantly sprinting away from you.
Your phone lays on the bedside table and buzzes innocently to start the morning. When you reach over and scroll through notifications routinely, there is a name there that makes your heart pang. Makes you want to throw up and celebrate at the same time. A text from Jungkook. Your fingers shake as you open it.
I no longer need a model for the portfolio. Thank you for your involvement. Compensation will be provided promptly.
The day you met him, you already knew that Jungkook was cold. He never dawdled around a painful truth or toed the line between bluntness and sparing feelings. Jungkook spoke his mind, collateral damage be damned. But this is a different type of cold. This one feels more like dry ice on warm skin. Like the numbing chill of a fading hope. Like winter’s first snowfall when autumn had promised you it would forever stay.
Phone in your hand and tears threatening to drip down your cheeks, you wish you would have waited a bit more before opening his text. Perhaps that way you could have spent the rest of your morning basking in the spring sun, drinking Jimin’s inevitably bad coffee, having hope that Jeon Jungkook would grow to care for you. Perhaps if you hadn’t opened it so soon, your soulmate would still seem in reach.
Jimin’s mug nearly drops out of his hand when the door of your bedroom is slammed open. He flings it to the side when he notices your red-rimmed eyes and the shaking hands that clutch onto a cellphone. You scream and sob at the universe, at anyone, asking why it was you that had to experience the chaos of longing. Jimin was there to hold you, as he always is, and helplessly listen to the sound of your heart breaking once again by the hands of Jungkook.
◒
Room 62B of the art building is a place you hope to never have to visit again. Though it’s walls contain memories of you and Jungkook, and the evenings navigating his gallery portfolio along with your convoluted relationship, the wallpaper bleeds with a longing ache. A yearning pain. And if those walls could talk, you don’t think you would want them to say anything at all. They would only murmur what you are slowly accepting to be true.
Jungkook, your soulmate, wants nothing to do with you.
When you hesitantly rap on the door with a fisted hand, the sound of him rustling from inside makes you want to run the opposite direction. It opens before you get the chance to change your mind and the sight of him nearly takes your breath away. He is beautiful as he always is, hair ruffled and mussed from undoubtedly running his hands through it compulsively. His lips are pink from biting on them and the dark circles under his eyes tells you of the dreams he has deprived himself of.
Jungkook is painfully gorgeous and painfully not yours.
“Y/N...I sent you a text earlier.” His voice is saccharine but the words taste so bitter.
“I know. I read it”, you murmur, shrinking in on yourself.
“I....Can we talk, Jungkook?”
His eyes dart around nervously at your question, chewing on his bottom lip and tapping the toe of his shoe as if he was impatient and you were bothering him. And you have known that simply being around Jungkook hurts but the light at the end of the tunnel only continues dwindling.
You understand why he is acting so restless when your gaze drifts past him and into the room. There is a girl perched on a stool, across from a canvas and easel that you know awfully well. You don’t recognize her but it’s only in your nature to begin comparing every aspect of yourself to this stranger. She sits on her hands and swings her legs back and forth, head in the clouds and eyes trailing the ceiling. She isn’t aware of the weight of her presence in the studio, nor the turmoil she has brought to you, who is standing just outside the door.
The oxygen in the hallway thins and the breath you’ve been waiting to release since knocking catches in your throat. Coming here, you prepared yourself for a long and inevitably heart-wrenching talk with your soulmate. But you hadn’t prepared for the possibility that he had replaced you overnight.
The only thought that blares through your mind is that this is your fault. For letting yourself think you were worth more to Jeon Jungkook than any other stranger. You can no longer find it in yourself to be angry at him. Just yourself.
“You…”, you gulp down a whimper, “you replaced me.”
Jungkook follows your vacant stare past him and sighs, realizing you had most likely deducted what this scene looked like. You would be right. Between the weeks of trying to understand what you were to him and the impending due date of the portfolio, Jungkook was sure the best way to move past this confusion was to just speed full steam ahead. That meant finding another muse. You were no longer an option.
You only stare down at the floor, but Jungkook begins speaking anyway.
“Y/N, I…I’m sorry.” You scoff at his words, feigning anger when inside, you truly didn’t know if you could piece yourself back together this time.
“Look, Y/N. It’s not you. It’s just that…”, he breathes deep, not knowing why it was so hard to say. “I’ve stopped believing soulmates were truly a thing a long time ago. I’m sorry.”
It’s not the first time you’ve heard these words but it doesn’t mean they hurt any less.
“I didn’t want to initiate anything, Y/N, but you did and I let you and that was my fault to let anything start. I shouldn’t have when I knew nothing would come of it.”
It was a fault to him. It never should have happened.
“So you just thought you would kiss me and decide that I meant nothing to you afterwards?”
“It was a mistake.” It was painful to think it but when you hear Jungkook say it, you experience a new kind of ache. A humorless chuckle bubbles past your throat.
“I really thought you would grow to love me. Now I know it’s not your fault that I’m a complete fool. To fall head over heels for my soulmate who wishes he had never even met me. Much less share a mark.”
You can see Jungkook’s eyes widen at your confession, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. It was the truth. He deserved to hear it.
“You shouldn’t. You can’t.” He reaches up to pull at his hair frustratedly.
“Can’t what, Jungkook? Love you? You think I want to be in love with someone who wishes I didn’t exist?” You hate your voice for breaking, but its impossibly painful when he does nothing to deny your statement.
“What do you want me to say, Y/N? What can I say to make this better?”
Try: I love you too.
“I don’t need you to say anything you don’t mean, Jungkook.”
“Then shouldn’t you leave?”
Jeon Jungkook is cruel even when he doesn’t mean to be. There is oblivion in his gaze, and his question is one of genuine curiosity. But it still stabs you exactly where your heart is most tender. Yes, I should have left.
“I guess I thought you were worth the pain, Jungkook. When you pushed me away and wanted nothing to do with me, I thought you were worth hurting for just to try a little more. Worth the uncertainty of being around you but never getting to actually be with you”, you numbly mutter, uncaring about the rivulets of tears down your face. Not like it wasn’t something he’s never seen before. There is more to come on the tip of your tongue, and Jungkook stays quiet to let you speak. There is conflict in his vision, but you don’t want to give yourself the false hope that he cares for you.
Look where that has gotten you before.
“You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.”
Saying the words are revelation for you as much as it is for him. All this time, you’ve been running away from the truth in the pursuit of your soulmate. You hadn’t realized that the chase led you astray.
“And I know that loving me is not easy. I’m…”, you force the words out so he can at least hear your turmoil by his hands. “I’m never really good enough for anyone. Why did I expect that I would be good enough for you?”
Jungkook’s expression crumples into a frown. “Y/N, no, that’s not what I mean-”
“You don’t have to tell me what you mean, Jungkook. I meet you and the first thing you say is that you don’t believe in such a thing. I try to get close to you and all you know to do is push me away. And I try so hard to be enough but how can I when Yoojung still has your heart? So you don’t have to say it. I know what you mean.” You’ve stopped crying but the ache relents, and you can only look desperately at the boy who’s slipping from your grasp with every passing second.
“I’m sorry.” The message is redundant.
“I can’t…” Rip off the bandaid.
“I just can’t love you.”
The words make their way past his lips before he can stop them, and they shoot through your core ruthlessly. A sharpened dagger to soft flesh. It manifests itself in a physical pain that reverberates across your chest, and when the last strength left in you is used to stare at Jungkook through a pained and teary gaze, you are deaf to everything but those four words.
I can’t love you.
I can’t love you.
I can’t love you.
You’re not sure what he is sorry for at this point. If Jungkook is apologizing for not loving you, you don’t blame him. If he is sorry for entertaining the possibility, you don’t blame him. If he is sorry that you are the one with a crescent moon on your wrist, well...you don’t blame him either. All your life you cherished it like some kind of gift from the universe. Now, nursing your crumbling soul in front of Jungkook, you wish it had never appeared in the first place.
You shake your head, tucking your lip in between your teeth to stop the sob in your chest from escaping. Through the crack of the door Jungkook hadn’t shut fully, the girl was still there, patiently sitting where you were supposed to and making herself scarce after inevitably hearing you bare your heart to a boy who had no interest in it.
Humiliation goes hand in hand with heartbreak, and the embarrassment that comes with confessing your love and insecurity urges your feet to run home. But even you cannot deprive yourself of looking at him one more time.
His wavy head of hair. The scar on his cheekbone that makes him look even more beautiful, if that were possible. The gloss in his dark brown eyes, and the way he looks at you through stone cold walls. You commit it to memory, however painful, before you walk out of his life.
“Be happy, Jungkook.”
You truly mean it.
◐
The sound of your footsteps getting farther away from him is a sound Jungkook thinks he’ll remember for a long time. It almost prompts him to run after you, cradle you to his chest, and profess how sorry he is again and again until you can truly feel the sincerity. But he doesn’t. Only remains behind the self-procured walls and watches when your figure disappears down the hallway.
Cold. Unbothered. Indifferent. That’s what he had always told himself when it came to you. But the hallway feels so lonely and the ghost of your presence feels even lonelier, and Jungkook wonders if he had been wrong.
He walks back into the studio, permanent frown on his face and shoulders hunched over in stress. The paintbrush feels like a stranger rather than an extension of his arm, as it always does, but Jungkook begins painting anyway. Looking at the girl in front of him, he is reminded of the look on your face when you realized he had replaced you completely in the span of three weeks, without even giving you a notice. Her presence in his art studio suddenly feels entirely suffocating.
“Mina, Get out.”
“What?”
“Get out of my studio. I don’t need you as a model, anymore. Thanks.” His voice cut through the tension of the room, like a hot knife to butter. He recognizes it as the voice he always forces himself to use around you, and grows even more aggravated.
The girl scoffs annoyedly, snatching her handbag from the floor and rushing out of the room. Obviously she had thought something more was to come from Jungkook’s art arrangement. He made sure to let her know that was not the case.
There is a gnawing in his chest. Deep and subtle, but it becomes more prominent as the window view from his studio turns from blue to black. He ponders about spending the night in here, instead of going home to his bedroom where he is forced to consult with the agony of solitude. On top of everything today, Jungkook doesn’t think he can handle that.
Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the pain in your face when he tells you that he can’t love you and he hears the shaking in your voice when you tell him the things that weighed on your soul. He thought the word “wither” was only reserved for flowers. Jungkook didn’t realize a person could wither until he saw it right in front of him.
In truth, he didn’t know. He didn’t know if he could love you or not. And to Jungkook, that was already a feat in itself. He’s spent so many months convincing himself that his emotional fortress was impregnable. So many nights over whiskey bottles telling himself that love was only for fools and pretenders. To be uncertain about love, now, well...that’s something he is not yet ready to admit to himself. Much less admit to you. But letting you any closer was a fatal game.
Being uncertain about love means being uncertain about getting hurt. Jungkook has a feeling he wouldn’t make it out in one piece if his heart fell into wrong hands.
He does end up returning to his apartment that night. But the walk feels far too long and the air feels far too frigid, or perhaps is it because he can’t hear the tread of your footsteps beside him?
Whatever the reason, tonight feels more lonely.
The stars tell him it’s because he does not like the person he’s alone with.
Back in room 62B, there is an abandoned painting on a rickety easel. He hadn’t even had the will to wash out his paintbrush, and he’s sure he’ll pay for it the next day. Looking at the piece now, his professor would tell him that there’s too many colors. Too much contrast and nearly not enough depth in his strokes. But what was he to do when he had kicked out his new model and couldn’t get the image of your visible heartbreak out of his brain?
A familiar wrist with a quaint crescent moon sits on the canvas, and he sure as hell didn’t use Mina as the inspiration. Jungkook reminds himself to throw out the painting tomorrow morning.
◓
The grease on Jimin’s skillet pan is always so hard to clean. The dish soap never truly cuts through the oil, and no matter how much you rinse it over with scalding water, it still feels soiled. On a normal day, it wouldn’t frustrate you so much. Today, a month-and-a-half after your soulmate made it clear to you that you had no place in his life, you want to throw the pan out the window and cry on the kitchen floor until it collapses with the weight of your tears.
You settle for throwing down the sponge and making Jimin wash his own dishes.
The phone-that you usually now tend to ignore-buzzes on the counter, and you groan at your complete lack of desire to answer it. But the screen lights up with your roommate’s name and you hit the green button.
“Y/N! How are you feeling, lovebug?” Jimin’s cheerful tone on speakerphone makes you want to cry. You can only imagine how terrible it is for him to be your roommate when all you know how to do now is mope and cry about a boy who probably hasn’t thought about you since. But he’s been holding you through all your breakdowns, and even sets up the air mattress on the floor of your bedroom when some nights are a little bit harder than most.
“I’ve had better days”, you glare at the pan in the sink. “What’s up?’
“So I have a friend…”
“Jimin, no.”
He sighs over the phone understandingly, but still not satisfied. “I know it’s only been a month Y/N, but it doesn’t have to be anything. He’s not looking for anything serious either. But maybe it would be good for you to take your mind off things.”
It’s been a month. Four weeks. Roughly 31 days, and you still remember every word he said to you in the hallway of the art building. Every pause and quiver of his breath, and the way he looked so completely indifferent to your pain. Was one month enough for you to let go even after finding out Jungkook never planned to hold on in the first place?
“Look, you don’t have to decide now. I’m sorry for pushing you if you’re not ready.” His mumbling is apologetic and it makes you realize that Jimin genuinely means well. Maybe you weren’t ready to move on from Jungkook yet. Maybe you never will be. He was your damn soulmate, after all. But maybe a distraction couldn’t hurt.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I’ll do it.”
You can practically feel him smiling like an idiot over the phone. “Really?!” You sigh into the speaker and Jimin knows better to continue talking before you change your mind.
“His name is Namjoon, he works with me at the office. Super cute. Super hot. Super smart. Checks all your boxes!”, he rambles on about the nitty gritty details and though a part you is proud that you’re making the decision to move on with life, you can’t help but to realize that no one will ever be able to “check all your boxes”.
Not if they’re not Jungkook.
“He sounds great, Jimin.” Anyone can tell your happiness is disingenuous, even through the phone. Jimin tells you that he had already planned a date (without your knowledge), and sends you on your way with a quick goodbye when his taxi arrives. The silence of the apartment after the conversation leaves you feeling even more weighted, but hopeful for the possibility of a distraction. You had a feeling you won’t be able to forget the likes of Jeon Jungkook if you tried. But, if only for a night, you were to forget the pain of loving him, you’ll take that chance.
◑
“What do you mean they all ‘feel the same’?” Jungkook is exasperated. He had drafted a complete version of his portfolio, working through the nights by the sweat of his brow. Now his professor was telling him that all his pieces felt the same and Jungkook thinks he might commit arson to the art studio.
Professor Sejin sighs contemplatively, taking off his glasses and throwing them on the table, all too familiar with Jungkook’s periodic art tantrums.
“I mean that your pieces lack any variegation. The portfolio is well done and coherent, but the completed package is one-noted. It’s consistent. But too much so.”
Professor Sejin’s words make him fall back into the chair dejectedly, shoulders slumped and disappointment in his eyes at the critique of his art. Though it is hard to hear, Jungkook always welcomes productive criticism. The older man sympathizes with his downcast eyes and the visible stress on his back.
“Look, Jungkook”, he affirms sincerely, “you just need to find some dynamic. Something to make people know that you can do more than one tone of art.” It’s obvious that the professor has a soft spot for the boy in front of him, who looks like his entire world is collapsing. The portfolio folder is handed back to him and Jungkook has the urge to burn it and not hear the word “gallery” again in the next decade.
“I have faith in you. You’ll figure out what it is that you’re missing.” The smile on the man’s face is congenial. Genuine. And even though he has an ambitious amount of work to do, Jungkook finds the will to nod, haul himself off the office chair, and begin the trek back to his studio.
The pinnacle of spring is approaching and the sun shines brighter with each morning. Not that he would know or care. He’s spent the last month locking himself inside, dedicating every fluid ounce of energy towards completing his project. It’s been surprisingly easier, and Jungkook finds himself finishing paintings, sketches, and sculptures with ease. Like untapped inspiration had revealed itself to him suddenly. Yet it still wasn’t enough...at least not according to Professor Sejin.
Headphones drown out the cacophony of hustlers and bustlers with the laughter of children as accompaniment. He doesn’t allow himself to enjoy the music of the city. Not anymore. It gives him too much space to think, and Jungkook has a feeling that’s not good for anyone and definitely not good for him.
The sight of a familiar bakery with particularly delicious apple strudels is enough to stop him in his rush, feet winding down until he is standing outside, staring at the door and wondering if he could go in without being reminded of you. Well, it might be too late for that anyhow, but further signs of protest are halted when he hears his growling stomach.
Jungkook had morbidly underestimated your presence in the memory of his favorite cafe. You are everywhere. He sees your smiling face when he looks up at the chalkboard menu, soul vying for you to be next to him and excitedly choosing a new fru-fru drink that would undoubtedly have excessive sugar. He hears your giggles ruminating through the cafe while the other patrons only hear the music over loudspeaker. He practically feels you near, but that doesn’t matter now. It’s better this way. No one gets hurt this way.
Jungkook plops himself at a corner table and buries his face in his hands, fingertips soothing over his pulsing eyebags and wrinkles he’s gotten from sleep deprivation. He desperately needs an espresso shot. Or five.
“Hey…”, a voice makes him snap his head up. Jungkook recognizes the stranger as the owner’s son, who always stands guard at the cash register. The tag on his lapel reads Kim Seokjin, and Jungkook has a distant memory of you gushing over how nice Seokjin’s hair was. He had acted unbothered back then, but Jungkook would die before telling a soul that he was annoyed and jealous when you thought the cashier was cute.
“Jungkook, right?”. He has a kind smile and a natural air of invitation. Jungkook nods.
“I’ve seen you around a lot. Where’s that girl you always come here with?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business”, he nearly hisses, antsy at the mere mention of you. He instantly regrets it though. Seokjin looks like he’s been cornered with a blunt weapon, and it makes Jungkook sigh at his own asshole-ishness.
“I’m sorry”, he mumbles, “just not a good day. At all.”
There is a pause and hesitation before the boy speaks. “Do you...wanna talk about it?” Seokjin’s question is met with silence.
There is a predictability about Jeon Jungkook. He doesn’t open himself up to anyone. He pretends that he doesn’t have problems so well, people start to become convinced. He avoids new connections like it’s the plague. But there is something so idiosyncratic about Kim Seokjin that makes him want to talk. Makes him want to trust a complete stranger.
So Jungkook nods, depositing his black backpack besides him and lets himself breathe deep.
“Her name is Y/N….”
In the lukewarm air of the café, Jungkook tells Seokjin about you. About the tiny crescent moon on your wrist that identically matches his - even unwraps his cloth to show it - and how he pushed you away hard enough to put an ocean’s worth of distance between the two of you. He tells Seokjin about Yoojung and the stars on her skin that have been plaguing him since the day she left. He tells him about that damn portfolio that refuses to be finished; one that he apparently has to start over because Professor goddamn Sejin says it's too boring. He allows himself to unload, and wow is it easier to breathe when you talk about your feelings. Jungkook reminds himself to do that more often.
The “conversation” seems to stretch for hours (if a conversation can be considered one person unleashing all their hidden baggage on the other while they sit in silence). Jin listens intently through the entire ordeal, offering occasional nods and encouragement for him to continue. When Jungkook finally finishes with a deep breath, falling back on the chair looking completely worn out, Jin fixes him with a hot tea before speaking.
“The portfolio is important to you, Jungkook. If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. Something tells me that you’re not one to give up so easily”, he quips with a playful lilt in his voice. Jin’s genuine faith in him makes Jungkook believe in himself.
“And as for Yoojung, well, I can’t speak on your pain. You are the only one that narrates your experiences but as much as she seems like a villain in your story, perhaps she has opened a door.” Jungkook thinks his voice sounds far too wise to be coming from a guy in his 20’s.
“Would you have known how to nurse a broken heart had it not been for her? I’m sorry she did that to you, Jungkook, but..Yoojung is your past. And I see so much in your future.”
Jungkook only stares into the abyss of his tea cup. The reflection that stares back is someone he desperately wants to learn to love. When he looks up again, there is a sad glimmer in Seokjin’s gaze. Something so despondent that he feels second-hand pain.
Jin pulls up the sleeve of his knit sweater. On his wrist sits a faded marigold, so blanched it almost blends in with his skin and makes him wonder if it will just disappear one day. Jungkook feels his blood run cold.
“It’s been two years since she died”, he stares solemnly at his skin, “I don’t think a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about her.”
Jungkook’s thought about his soulmate mark disappearing before. Even hoped and prayed for it the days after Yoojung left. But now, when he sees it up close on Seokjin’s wrist, Jungkook doesn’t want to wish that loneliness upon anyone.
“She was so damn...persistent”, Jin laughs, fondness dripping in every word. “Like your Y/N in that way, I suppose. She had a goal and was hell-bent on achieving it. She was so kind and strong and much more of a badass than I could ever be. I loved that about her.” There is sorrow in his voice when he uses the past tense, and Jungkook feels even worse for pouring his heart out about his very alive soulmate.
“She was studying to be a doctor, you know? Ironic that even the best doctors couldn’t have saved her in the end.” His sentence trails off and he loses focus gazing out the window, fidgeting with the ring on his left hand with a faraway look in his eyes.
“I don’t mean to ramble about my dead soulmate for no reason, Jungkook. And I’m in no position to tell you what you should or should not do regarding Y/N. But if I could restart this life with my soulmate, there wouldn’t be one second I would waste not at her side.” Jin’s tone is not accusatory or convicting. Just honest.
“It’s normal to be scared and apprehensive. Hell, I would be more concerned if you weren’t going into it with a shit ton of skepticism. I was terrified. Yet out of the billions of people that could’ve had my mark on their wrist, just knowing that she was that one was enough for me to love her.”
The cup of tea has long gone cold. Jungkook only manages to stare at the mahogany table, thoughts too heavy to voice aloud, so Jin continues.
“I think I would give anything to know that such a person still exists for me. Someone out there that was chosen by an unknown, cosmic force for an unexplainable reason just for me. To see a mark that matches my own. Well…”, Jin breathes deeply, tears welling in his eyes but not falling, “I think that must be the most wonderful thing in the entire world.”
◒
Seokjin’s words stick with him long after he has departed from the café. Long after the tea has settled in his stomach along with the weight of what a soulmate means to this stranger whose life story he has learned in the course of an evening.
Even so, Jungkook’s not sure what he should feel. The fear of vulnerability still feels like a designated thundercloud above his head, and the thought of letting you past his walls makes Jungkook want to run the other way.
At the same time, the trepidation doesn’t feel so heavy anymore. It’s still there, and he can’t pinpoint exactly what happened but when he sees your smiling face behind his eyelids, Jungkook doesn’t feel scared. When he focuses on what you look like under sunlight, or your eyes staring at him through a camera lens, there is no fear of the broken heart you could leave him with. Just something warm. Something that feels an awful lot like...love?
But what does Jungkook know about such things?
He shrugs it off his shoulders, and readies himself for a night of inevitably restless sleep. He blames it on the impending due date of his beloved portfolio, but really, it is you. You and your insistence on trying every single coffee shop in the city. You and your convoluted idea of a date; letting your partner choose the location with their eyes closed. You and…
Just everything about you.
He falls asleep well into 4am. The thin strap of cloth sits on his bedside table. Even if it is only for the night sky to see, Jungkook lets his soulmate mark breathe.
◐
It’s been so long since you’ve dressed up or cleaned up to go out anywhere, the reflection that stares back feels like a stranger. You’ve opted for a bold red lip, meticulously applying your makeup so that even the wing of your eyeliner was sharp enough to kill. Jimin forced you to curl your hair too, of course. The girl in the mirror looks beautiful. You know that she is beautiful.
So why is it that you can only see the face that is not enough for Jeon Jungkook? A person that he is unable to love. No, not even foundation can cover the face of longing.
“Y/N”, Jimin sing-songs, “hurry! You don’t wanna be late do you?” No, you don’t want to be late. You want to not go. Maybe retreat to your bedroom and cry the night away again. But you won’t tell him that when he is so clearly ecstatic that you’re spending a night out for the first time in months.
The restaurant looks like it is entirely out of your budget. Well, you reckon any restaurant is out of your budget with all the debt that looms overhead and your painfully apparent unemployment. Waiting for Namjoon is less than exhilarating, and you spend the time fiddling with your bracelet that conveniently covers the crescent moon. These days, you can’t bear to look at it anymore. Your eyes are glued to the little mark, before a voice sounds from across the table.
“Sorry I’m late, traffic was insane. You must be Y/N, nice to meet you.” You weren’t sure what you expected Kim Namjoon to look like but were pleasantly surprised. Namjoon looks like he takes care of himself, neat and clean and sporting a very shiny watch that looks like 4 months’ worth of rent.
“And you must be Namjoon. Likewise.”
When he pulls out the chair to sit down, you can’t help but to notice the cloud on his wrist. It was smaller than yours but you had no doubt it felt just as heavy. If Namjoon felt your gaze on his skin, he did nothing to show it.
“Hey, I know I just got here but…”, he sighs and takes a look around the room, “do you wanna get out of here? Find the cheapest and greasiest food we can?” His request makes you smile, and you grab the purse that rested on the table.
“Namjoon, I think that’s the best idea you’ve had yet.”
You and Namjoon manage to find a diner that wasn’t far from the fancy restaurant, and you thank the skies that you didn’t have to pay $50 for a salad tonight. Just some pocket change for quite possibly the best and oiliest hamburger you’ve ever had.
By conversation that happens through mouthfuls of food and faces smeared with milkshake residue, you come to learn that Namjoon is an unsurprisingly nice guy. He studies poetry, but is working as a secretary at an office, hence his connection to Jimin. He loves to garden and talks about his bonsai plants to you like they’re his kids, even pulling up pictures on his phone and gazing down at them fondly. It makes you smile. He plays the piano, and likes to take long bike rides when the weather permits.
It’s nice to have someone reciprocate your effort. It’s something you haven’t experienced in a long time, all credit to one Jeon Jungkook. Namjoon is warm in all the corners where Jungkook is cold.
In a word, he is pretty damn perfect. And if he had a crescent moon on his wrist, you probably wouldn’t bat an eye or have a lick of doubt in the universe. He encompasses everything you want, so alike you in so many aspects it makes you wary. If Namjoon had your matching soulmate mark, you would already be in love with him.
But he doesn’t. And that thought alone keeps you from feeling anything but platonicity. He is not Jungkook. You don’t think anyone can make you feel the way Jungkook does. You want to curse the stars for making this so.
It’s well into the night, and you both remain planted in the diner booth, chatting and chuckling over a plate of french fries. It’s when you drift off while he’s talking about his latest attempt at focaccia that Namjoon sighs and sits back in the seat.
“What?”, you confusedly ask after he suddenly stops speaking.
He smiles. Stays silent for a couple seconds. Then speaks.
“So what did your soulmate do to you?”
His question catches you off guard and you can only stare at him, frown on your face and words lost on your tongue.
“You’ve been staring into space every 5 minutes this whole night, and fidgeting with your bracelet so much I’m surprised it hasn’t fallen off”, he explains, tenderness and sympathy in his tone.
“Every time I speak, you have this sad look in your eyes and I have a feeling you’re imagining someone else’s face, Y/N. I’ve enjoyed talking to you...a lot. But I can tell you want to be somewhere else so”, Namjoon places his elbows on the table and gazes at you endearingly, “tell me about your soulmate.”
You stare at Namjoon through shocked eyes, glistening with the onset of tears that you manage to keep from escaping. Gosh, you were pathetic. Already wanting to cry at the mere mention of him. Or maybe the fact that someone could see through your facade. You take a deep breath.
“His name is Jeon Jungkook.” Your voice quivers, and Namjoon continues listening intently. You are reluctant to continue because you know that once this conversation begins, there is a chance you might have to confront yourself again with the pain of loving someone who doesn’t want love. You internally apologize to Namjoon in advance, for you might cry on this first date.
“I…I’m completely head over heels in love with him but after everything, I’m not sure I have the slightest clue what love is. Because what sane person can fall in love with a person who has made it clear that that love wouldn’t be reciprocated from the get go?”
You fiddle with the plastic straw in your milkshake, searching for the courage to go on and tell him about every thought that you have denied yourself the satisfaction of verbalizing.
“He loves apple strudels, you know. Eats them every time like they’re the last apple strudels he’ll ever have and he doesn’t give a damn who’s watching”, you chuckle, gaze drifting off to space. There is a fondness in your eyes as you speak, and Namjoon does not miss it.
“He’s as punctual as the day is long. One time I was late to a photoshoot and he almost made me cry lecturing me about the importance of being on time. But now I’m never late.”
The memory makes you, as well as Namjoon, smile.
“He paints like his life depends on it, and he’ll get oil paint on his face without noticing and sometimes I just want to reach out and wipe it off. But I think he’d murder me on the spot.”
“How come?”, Namjoon offers his first words in the midst of your monologue. You’re not sure what to say next.
“Well...I think Jeon Jungkook might be the coldest person I’ve ever met”, you dejectedly sigh. Reality tastes bitter even with remnants of whipped cream on your lips.
“Every time I was around him, it felt like I was willingly breaking my own heart just for the chance to know that he was next to me. That in this entire world of billions of people, the one with the same moon on their wrist was next to me. And...I guess I didn’t really need him to love me yet”, your gaze locks onto Namjoon and you find he is already staring at you with utmost curiosity and subtle pity.
“Jungkook alone was enough. I just wish he could have felt the same about me.”
Perhaps the reason why the truth is so painful to speak is because people have a tendency to run from it. Then when it catches up to you, it’s a harsh trip and fall to the rocky ground. There is no cushion when you land.
Namjoon doesn’t offer advice. Doesn’t dish his own experiences to relate to your own or even make any comments from his perspective. He just sits and listens in silence, but it doesn’t feel like he is disregarding you. No, his eyes tell you that he soaks in every word. You hope you’ll get the chance to do the same for him...if he ever decides to share his story with you.
The two of you leave the diner with a prospective to be friends, and no plans of a future second date. You had a strong feeling that spending the entire evening talking about your unrequited soulmate love had something to do with that. Nevertheless, though Namjoon didn’t work out as a distraction, you were glad to have met him. It made you realize something.
Even if Jimin thought you were ready to move on. Even if you thought you were ready to forget. It might be a lifetime before you finally let go of that boy.
◓
The morning reeks of rain and dew, humidity nearly clawing its way through his window and turning his apartment into a swamp. When he wakes up, it is not to his blaring alarm clock, but the uncomfortable sensation of a sweaty shirt sticking to his back. Jungkook groans, already tired of this day. It seems hopeless from the beginning.
As much as he wanted to stay home and crank up the air conditioner so much that his landlord would come running, Professor Sejin’s voice reverberates through his eardrums.
You art is too one-noted, Jungkook.
Be better, Jungkook.
You’re talentless and will never succeed, Jungkook.
Of course, these are not Professor Sejin’s verbatim, more so Jungkook’s own mind that twists his teacher’s constructive criticism into something else. He is a master at feeding his insecurity.
Jungkook chugs down a lukewarm cup of black coffee, and his stomach growls for something with a little more sugar and maybe a dash of rainbow colored sprinkles. He guesses he has you to thank for that. The art studio is always a daily destination, and this day is no different. Jungkook has a plan to dedicate himself to fixing his portfolio and maybe finish that clay piece he never got around to.
The studio is too cold for his liking; Jungkook can’t remember how many times he has begged the superintendent to lower the AC. The cold he can deal with. The loneliness, however, is a different story. Jungkook is always alone. Alone when he’s in his apartment. Alone when he’s in class. Alone when he’s in the art room. These days, aloneness feels more haunting when he knows he had the option to escape it, but chose to stay. A part of him is ready to admit that it’s because of you.
Jungkook hums a random melody that had been stuck in his head since the morning, fingers gliding over the slick sculpting clay. The days are easier now. He doesn’t think about you so much when the sun is out and there is the bustling of the busy city to distract him. The nights, however, are just as difficult as they have been. Jungkook’s last drifting thought is of you, and your face torturously carries over to each dream. Like his entire being misses you but he refuses to accept it.
He takes a deep sigh in relief once the sculpture feels finished. Professor Sejin wanted something more dynamic, so there: his very own realist clay piece drawing inspiration from Praxiteles’ sculpture of Aphrodite. He sits back in pride, admiring his own handiwork and giving himself a mental pat on the back. It looks great. Perfect even. It looks….
It looks like you.
Jungkook pales at the realization as the clay face stares back at him. No, this was supposed to be Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love, inspired by the ancient Greek artist that sculpted her. Then why does she have your nose? Those eyes are definitely your’s and even those cheeks are identical. Jungkook hadn’t even realized that in the rhythm of his art, he got lost and accidentally sculpted your face instead.
He walks away from the clay table and hurriedly yanks off the soiled apron around his waist, confusion swimming in every cell of his body. How had he just...made a sculpture of you? With no knowledge that he was doing it?
Jungkook leans with his back against the sink, staring down at the floor with furrowed brows and a thundering heart. With a sudden epiphany, Jungkook leaps from his position and pulls out all the canvases, printed photographs, graphite drawings, and clay pieces he’s made for the past few months. Everything he can grab in the small studio space.
It is then that he comes to the daunting realization:
Holy shit.
Professor Sejin was right.
Everything feels the same. His whole portfolio has one note and no dynamic or diversity because...well, because all of his pieces are of you. Not you, necessarily, but your breath has come alive on his art in some way, shape, or form.
The multimedia painting he made two weeks ago using polystyrene sheets was supposed to mimic sunlight through a stained glass window, but Jungkook hadn’t even noticed he'd drawn the window of the café you dragged him to on its opening day. And the colors of the glass is just the twinkle of your eyes when they stare back into his.
The photoset he spent hours taking around the city, after taking a 15 minute train ride, were just repeats of all the places you two went to that one day. The book store. The park. The streetlight where Yoojung stopped him. He hadn’t even realized he only saved the photos associated with a subconscious memory of you.
Jungkook can’t explain it, but he feels you in every single picture. Every piece of art that his hands have manifested since you walked into his life, stupid smile on your face and that little moon on your wrist. He feels it...and call it artist’s intuition or something but perhaps that’s why Professor Sejin could feel it too.
Even though he stopped making you his muse months ago, you are still the root of inspiration for whatever he’s produced since. And if that’s not enough to finally tell him what he needs to hear. Finally make him realize that he’s fallen in love with you without even knowing it, the universe doesn’t know what will.
The minutes it has been since he realized your place in his life melts like slow dripping honey, feeling like an eternity when it is mere moments. Jungkook regains his focus in the haze. He knows what you mean to him now, but there was something he had to fo first.
He swipes all his paintbrushes and palette knives to the side, sweat on his brow as he furiously rearranges his portfolio. He takes out the pictures of Mina - no one would miss them anyway - and trashes all the photos he took before he met you. He only uses the art he’s created post-Y/N and tucks them in the manila folder so rapidly, there’s paper cuts on his fingers. But he doesn’t feel them. Jungkook has only one objective.
He snaps a picture of the new clay sculpture he’s just finished. The photo goes into the portfolio with the name ‘Aphrodite’, but Jungkook knows better about whose face that truly belongs to. Not that anyone would bat an eye. He thinks you are as beautiful as the goddess herself.
The trip to Professor Sejin’s office is short, unsurprising though, since Jungkook sprints the whole way there. When he arrives, and the professor can only stare as he’s bent over and huffing violently trying to catch his breath, Jungkook reminds himself to spend less time at the studio and more time on the cardio.
He throws the portfolio onto the man’s desk unceremoniously, nearly collapsing on the chair across from him and not ready to speak yet. Professor Sejin confusedly rifles through the folder quickly, too quickly, and sighs, ready to offer Jungkook yet the same critique again.
He opens his mouth, but Jungkook cuts him off.
“Before you say anything…”, he gulps, finally ready to admit the truth to himself.
“I want you to know that I’ve met my soulmate, a-and there’s a reason why you feel that my portfolio is all the same. There’s a reason why you feel it’s all one-noted or that there’s no progression.” Jungkook takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, and you are there behind his lids.
“It’s because she sowed the seeds for all of them. Everything. Those paintings and photos and sculptures are just symptoms of what I’ve been feeling this whole time after meeting her. She’s practically the artist, not me.” Professor Sejin stays silent at his monologue, gaze unreadable but eyes sharp and trained solely on Jungkook.
“Maybe...Maybe art doesn’t need to be super variegated all the time. Maybe it’s supposed to be a cohesive unit and the pieces should string to each other. Maybe paintings should have a relationship to photos and them, to sculptures. Maybe you’re just...wrong.”
He is exasperated and passion flows out of him through every pore. Jungkook looks expectantly at his professor, who has the open folder in his hand and still in the process of taking in his words. When the adrenaline starts to fade, he realizes that he just dissed his venerable teacher.
“With all due respect…”, he coughs, “sir.”
Professor Sejin lets Jungkook spend the next couple minutes in complete torturous silence so that he can finish reviewing his portfolio. The tension is cut with the sound of the man’s hands slapping together as he closes the folder. Jungkook prepares himself for a stern lecture.
However, when he looks up, there is a smile on the man’s face. There’s no malice there, or even disdain. He pulls off his glasses, sets them on the table, and sits back in the office chair, arms folded over his chest. Jungkook can feel his heart threatening to pound past his rib cage.
“Jungkook…”, Professor Sejin declares, “I think you’ve got a contender for the gallery spot.”
◑
If someone had asked you what Jeon Jungkook meant to you, you would look them in the eye and tell them that he meant nothing. Because it’s easier to pretend that someone does not mean anything to you after they pretend that you do not exist. That the universe had not given you both matching marks and deemed that your souls were meant for each other. Jeon Jungkook is a stranger to you. One that you wanted so badly to love. But you’ve come to learn that no matter how hard you try; you can’t love someone who doesn’t want to love at all.
So the days trickle by as they usually do. Painstakingly slow and viscous with memories of a boy named Jeon Jungkook and the way he has hurt you enough to last a little bit over forever.
“I understand why you don’t want to go, Y/N. But aren’t you the least bit curious? Especially after that fancy invitation in the mail?” Jimin’s query is innocent. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make your blood boil.
“I don’t know...the thought of going to my soulmate’s grand art gallery when the last time we spoke, he told me he can’t love me, just doesn’t seem appealing Jimin”, you snark, burying your face into the bowl of cereal you are now spooning far too aggressively.
“But...it’s been months. And he wouldn’t have sent you an invitation if he didn’t want you to come.”
This conversation has happened too frequently since that red envelope arrived at your apartment. You cried your eyes out when you opened it, both out of pride for Jungkook and the fact that no matter what you did, the universe found a way to keep you from moving on.
A sigh heaves through your chest, and the cereal is abandoned by your loss of appetite. “I’m not going to show up there and have him tell me again all of the reasons he can’t be with me. I barely survived it last time.”
“But what if, Y/N?”
There is a glimmer in Jimin’s eye and he radiates so much hopefulness for you, you can’t help but to feel it too.
“Isn’t the what if already enough? You used to tell me that Jungkook was worth anything. Isn’t he worth the risk this time too?”
You don’t have anything else to say after that because as much as you hate to admit, perhaps Jimin is right. Jungkook is worth going through anything for, even if he wants to stay as far away as possible. Call it a fluke in the postal system that the invitation to his gallery landed on your doorstep, but can you allow yourself to read between the lines and dare say that he sent it himself? Can you put yourself through such a perilous thing like optimism?
Jungkook has left you battered and broken for the past months. But you would give your heart to him to break all over again if he asked.
◒
To say that you did not fit in with those dawdling around the art gallery was a gross understatement. You didn’t just not fit in. Your entire presence and aura defied every expectation, and suddenly, watching the upper echelon of the city mingle with champagne and gaze critically at Jungkook’s art, makes every breath feel like an insecurity.
The boy in question was nowhere in sight, and you now regret not dragging Jimin with you. The invitation had specifically prohibited plus one’s, and though Jimin whined to no end about his hurt feelings and emptily promised never to talk to Jungkook again, you managed to keep him home. Now, you wish you were back at the apartment with him.
The pieces were, in short, completely breathtaking (to no surprise, of course, this was Jungkook you were talking about). Though you knew he always held doubt in himself, in the short time he allowed you to be in his life, you had never once thought he was anything less than spectacular. Yet you could not allow yourself to completely enjoy them. Each brushstroke and paint color you remember from his palettes, or the filters on the photos that you helped him with, was agonizing to look at.
You are standing in front of a canvas titled “Windowlight” when a man comes up beside you. He nurses a flute of bubbly champagne and makes no move to gain eye contact. Unknown to you, Professor Sejin knows exactly who you are. He’s seen your face in his student’s portfolio one too many times.
“Artful use of mixed media, isn’t it?”, he mutters.
“I suppose so.”
“He’s quite the prodigy. Have you met him yet? I’m sure he’s lurking around somewhere.” The man takes a sip from his glass, smirk on his lips hidden from your eyes that still blankly stare ahead.
“Yes. He’s a...friend.” We share a soulmate mark. He hates my guts.
He hums a sound of affirmation and you ignore the weird feeling it leaves in your stomach; one that tells you this stranger sees right through you.
“Ah, how rude of me. Professor Sejin. Arts director and senior advisor.” He spares you a brief glance, but you make no move to shake his hand or pretend to be courteous. You don’t have the energy for it tonight. Just being in this building, surrounded by everything Jungkook has touched, makes you want to collapse into yourself.
“It was nice to meet you, Y/N.” He speaks nonchalantly, and you almost miss the fact that you never told him your name. Your brows crease in confusion and you are ready to turn and interrogate the stranger, but he is already walking away, gliding smoothly across the gallery. Before he gets too far, though, Sejin cranes his neck and makes eye contact.
“Oh, and be sure to visit the one called ‘Moon’. It’s upstairs, next to the Aphrodite sculpture on the second level exhibit”, he entreats, a suspicious lilt in his voice.
“Something tells me you’ll appreciate its…sincerity.”
Honestly, you’re not sure what you expected when you came to Jungkook’s art gallery tonight. But to be approached by a stranger who already knows your name, who dubiously instructs you to seek out a mystery art piece, was not on the list of expectations. Still...Professor Sejin’s words made you curious.
Through the night, your eyes subconsciously seek out that familiar head of fluffy brown hair and a tall gait that always seems to stick out, even in a large crowd. It was as if Jungkook versed himself in complete camouflage, so much so that you began to doubt that he was even in the building.
The traipse through the gallery is done in silence and solitude, and you tune out the sounds of popping champagne and raucous laughter coming from the second floor, as the patrons undoubtedly banter over which piece to auction off. You hope he keeps them. You’ve never seen someone appreciate art the way that Jungkook does.
You catch sight of a few pieces that you recognize, ones that you remember him showing you when he had finished. You always excitedly told him every single one was a masterpiece, and Jungkook only rolled his eyes and made minimal effort at hiding the blush on his cheeks. Your steps falter when you come across a set of photographs in black and white, set in consecutive frames next to each other and it feels so warm despite the lack of color. Jungkook just had that special talent when it came to photography.
It’s the bookstore. In the city during the impromptu train ride you had coerced him to take. Your heart catches in your throat as you recognize all the other ones immediately because well...you’ve been to all those spots. A familiar pressure builds in the back of your eyes, and you swallow down a whimper of pain.
The urge to leave becomes too strong. But not strong enough to quell the slow burn of curiosity from Professor Sejin. There is a chance that you might not run into Jungkook at all tonight with the vast space and people bumbling through the corridors. It hurts to think that you might never see him again at all, but you’ll allow yourself another indulgence. Something is calling you.
Moon. He titled it Moon? You grip onto your wrist reflexively and run your thumb over the mark, like you did when you were younger and still had hope for soulmates. The pulsepoint there beats under your finger and lets you know how alive you are. Compels you to give into your curiosity, even if it might decimate your already crumbling heart. The stairs that lead up to the second floor are short, but the trek feels like it knocks the wind out of you, or perhaps that was just the anticipation of what was waiting for you on the other side.
You were right to be scared. Because right in the smack dab center of the circular room is where you see it, and your gasp is one that can be heard from each wall and corner.
A painting of you. A portrait from the waist up, with oil paint and so much detail, Jungkook has even managed to line the shallow wrinkles by your eyes when you smile. You have never considered yourself beautiful in any sense but the way he has captured you on canvas starts to make you believe that you truly are. You feel Jungkook in each streak of the brushstroke where he hadn’t spread the color evenly. It is as if the painting is alive, and though you are staring at yourself, it doesn’t feel like the way it does in the mirror. Doesn’t feel like a reflection.
No, this feels like looking through Jungkook’s eyes. It is what he sees in you, rather than what you see in yourself. And what he sees is beautiful. Through the haze of shock and confusion as to why he chose this as the centerpiece, you don’t notice the warm presence that lurks behind you. The one that has watched your every move since you walked into this building.
“Yeah, that’s my favorite one too.”
You whip your head around so quick it nearly gives you whiplash, but the sight of him is the nail in the coffin. Jungkook is cleaned up in a black suit, and an unfamiliar smile on his lips he rarely lets you see. A genuine one that he’s tried to hide so many times but now that it’s clear and up close, you resent him for keeping it from you.
Jungkook is just as gorgeous as the day you lost him.
But looking at him hurts. You don’t know why you’re even here, and why he sent the invitation, or why he was standing in front of you now and there is not a sliver of antipathy in his eyes. You don’t know why your face is plastered in the center of the gallery. Most of all, you don’t know why you are still weak in the knees for Jeon Jungkook.
“Although, I have to say, it was a close race between this one and the pictures I made you take at the lake, when you nearly dunked me in the river because it was so cold”, he breathily laughs but you aren’t able to get through the shock just yet. If Jungkook notices your starstruck state, he doesn’t let it affect him.
“And I definitely have to give some credit to the one I painted after you told me about your dream”, Jungkook prattles on, “where you were a mermaid who planted peaches under the sea, remember? That’s an honorable mention.”
These memories make you want to smile but in this moment, the best you can do is try to hold yourself together when your eyes begin to warm with tears. Jungkook stays silent when you do. He notices you haven’t said a word and your gaze refuses to meet his.
“Why are you doing this, Jungkook?”, you curse yourself when your voice cracks. “Why are you telling me these things? Haven’t you hurt me enough?” Jungkook’s smile drops off his face, and for once, you can see your own pain reflected in his eyes.
He takes a deep breath, hands hanging limply at his side that itch to wrap themselves around yours. To feel your skin. Feel your mark.
“I…”, he hesitates in his words, “I remember that day every night when I go to sleep, Y/N. Every time I shut my eyes, I just see your face when I told you I can’t love you, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt such aching before. Not even when she left me.” Jungkook’s voice is tinted with desperation but it just makes your walls rise higher.
He’s lying to you. Your tongue wants to protest, but he continues.
“I see you in everything”, Jungkook breathes out, like he is also admitting it to himself.
“The paintbrushes I can never put down to the black coffee I force myself to drink nowadays because the ones I actually like, the ones with too much whipped cream and vanilla syrup, just reminds me of you.” His brows are knitted, and his feet vie to step closer to your quivering form. But you look like a caged animal about to bolt at any moment.
“And when I’m reminded of you, I am reminded of…”, he gulps down the fear, “I’m reminded of how I am utterly in love with someone who deserves so much more than what I have put them through.”
The blood that runs through your veins drops to subzero temperatures, and you swear in the split millisecond that you have absorbed what he’s just said, your heart ceases its beating. The world stops turning, and the waves still for a brief moment. You can’t find any words just yet, but Jungkook can see straight through you and your stupefied expression.
“Y-you’re lying to me, Jungkook. Stop lying.”
“I’m not lying, please…” Jungkook knows he’s losing you by the second, but he’s promised you he would persist. He just wants you to listen. Wants you to feel how sorry he is, and how his soul screams to be next to your’s.
“I can’t explain how it happened. Like it was an epiphany. Like someone has been screaming at me and I had been ignoring them, and that someone was my own heart.” Jungkook doesn’t stumble over his words once. He does not stutter because it is the plain white truth.
“Stop, Jungkook.”
“It’s been knocking on the door of my chest and when I finally let it in, it just yells and shouts ‘oh my god, you’re in love’ and then I realized oh my god, i’m in love. In between painting you and convincing myself that soulmates meant nothing to me, I’ve completely and unquestionably fallen in love with you, Y/N.”
Jungkook can’t decipher the look on your face. Something between the lines of disbelief and heartbreak, and it makes him want to split at the seams at the pain he’s put you through. How he’s convinced you you’re impossible to love. He vows to make it right again.
“Jungkook-”
“And you’re wrong, you know. You’re not hard to love. Hell, I was dead set on never loving again and you managed to make me so smitten, I can’t paint or draw a damn thing without including some aspect of you in it.” Jungkook steps back and gestures to all the canvases and photos that hang on the wall.
“Take a look around, Y/N. It’s all you. Every piece.” Once he says it, you finally notice Every piece of art in this room can be traced to you, or a memory you two share. It’s so clear, you don’t know how you missed it before. You feel yourself in the art Jungkook has poured his soul into. Instead of making you feel elated, these words that you’ve been waiting your entire life to hear just ignites the sting.
“Just stop. Please.” It is only a weak whisper through your lips, and he ignores it.
“If you can’t forgive me, I get it Y/N. I can’t forgive myself either. But can you just know that you are enough. You are more than what I deserve. And I know you told me to be happy, but there is no way I can possibly do that without you.”
When your gaze falls to the floor, you notice that his wrist is clean of any bracelets or watches. Come to think of it, this is one of the first times you are seeing it clear and in the flesh. Jungkook doesn’t tell you, but nowadays, he doesn’t allow anything to impede on the sight of the crescent moon.
When your guard is down and you are distracted, he finds the perfect time to finally reach forward and take your hand in his. His touch is gentle when it wraps around your wrist, tugging off the ribbon that circled it, and revealing the matching mark. Your pulse jumps under his fingers, and skips a beat when he runs a thumb over the moon. You are already melting with such simple contact, and you almost allow yourself to succumb. Almost.
It’s as if suddenly his skin was scalding, and you snatch your wrist from his grasp at lightning speed. The tears that have strayed down your face are wiped away as quickly as they came. The surprise on his face is missed by your eyes because before he can comprehend what is happening, you are bolting down the staircase and out the glass doors of the gallery. No, you cannot forgive him yet. What would you do if he hurt you again? You don’t think you would survive.
You ignore the pain of seeing his art pieces as you run, now that you know you are the muse behind them all. The only noise is the sound of blood rushing in your ears, and you are oblivious to the racket of Jungkook’s shoes clapping against marble flooring as he chases after you, expertly dodging the other patrons and butlers holding trays of champagne.
And Jungkook? Well, he is oblivious to the complete turmoil that runs through your every nerve. He only sees your back, and not the way you bite your lip painfully to keep the sobs from escaping. Not the way your pain is exhibited clear as day in the crease of your eyebrow and the wrinkle of your nose.
The air outside is so cold it bites at your nostrils, but makes it easier to breathe. The wind calms the thundering heart in your chest.
He must be lying. There was no way he had a change of heart now, not when he was so rooted in his belief before. There is no virtual possibility, on any plane of existence, on any dimension where Jeon Jungkook has fallen in love with you.
Right?
The hand that circles around your wrist tightly to keep you from getting any farther tells you that you are wrong. He did come after you. Jungkook’s strength forces you to stop running, but you can’t find the courage to turn around and face him just yet. But you don’t make an effort to pull away, and he takes it as progress.
“You can run if you want, Y/N. You can walk away from me and from us, but don’t doubt that I’ll always be chasing after you. For as long as it takes.” He is panting and speaking through heavy breaths, but you hear him. Loud and clear.
“I won’t let you leave again. Not like last time.”
There is no malice. No coldness, and for the first time since you’ve met him, his words feel like warm honey instead of monotone ice. He is utterly distraught when you turn around slowly, hesitant like you’re afraid he will break your heart right then and there.
His heart shatters at the wetness at your waterline, and the way you look up at him; completely vulnerable and scared.
“Do you promise?”
There is a lot of weight in your three-word question. It’s not as innocent as meets the eye, and Jungkook knows it. He feels it. When you ask him if he promises, it is an invitation back to you. You are offering him your heart, which he has already broken and bruised, and trusting him to be careful with it this time around. Jungkook already knows he loves you. And if you let him, he’ll spend the rest of his life making sure this promise remains unbroken.
“I promise.”
It’s a commitment. One he used to be terrified of making, but it seems so easy when it’s for you.
And when you fly forward to wrap your arms around him, Jungkook feels like home. Like the stars twinkle a little brighter and the earth stops spinning for a mere second, just for the two of you. You feel him squeeze you closer, just as tightly, and Jungkook wants to kick himself for depriving you both of a simple thing called love.
You are here, souls and now bodies intertwined, and Jungkook lets the pain of past hurt fall away. Pain is so miniscule when you are by his side. When you pull back, Jungkook frowns at your red-rimmed eyes, and the tears that still persist. He wipes it away oh so softly, as if you were delicate clay and he, a sculptor.
“Please don’t cry anymore, princess, it breaks my heart. I’m so sorry.” It is the softest, most sugary tone you’ve ever heard out of him. But hearing affection from his lips makes you feel that perhaps all of this sorrow, this longing, has been worth it. He has been worth it. He always has.
“I love you, Y/N.” Jungkook’s words are almost as beautiful as he is.
His lips are familiar when you lean forward and kiss him. Yet they are different. This time, the hands on your waist hold you a bit more carefully, even closer if that were possible. You can feel his thudding heart as it beats against your own, learning to match rhythms with each other, and Jungkook cradles your face in his hand like you are the only artwork he has truly been proud of.
And it’s true. All the canvases and paints and camera film seem wasted now. Nothing he ever makes will be quite as alluring as the art he holds in his arms in this moment.
“I love you too, you goddamn idiot.”
You meant it all those months ago, and you mean it now. If Jeon Jungkook was the sun, you would gladly change your name to Icarus. If Jeon Jungkook was the moon, then you are the tides that he pushes and pulls. If Jeon Jungkook belonged to you, well...you don’t have to imagine that anymore. He is your’s, as you are his.
Old habits die hard, but they are not immortal. They wax and wane, and remind you that in the cosmic vastness of things, you are only human. Humans whose hearts beat in tandem and souls made to complete the other. Humans with identical crescent moons, lost but now found.
Old habits die hard. But you have learned to fix those of a broken heart.
☾
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ooh have about the main three with the fake dating trope :D
fake dating the main three
gn!reader, cursing here and there, typos and grammatical errors to be edited, past tense - present tense swerving to be fixed.
note: i was on vacation for 2 days without internet and i have bakugo's done in my notes but my phone died before i can even save it :D this will be kinda long because i went ahead of myself and detailed it exactly how i want. this is not betaed. please do tell me if there's a non they/them pronouns in here. hope you'll enjoy this!
requests are: open!
ㅡ bakugo
i spent the whole day thinking about how he'll agree to fake date. let's just say he's the one in need.
his mom has been bothering him for a long time now. she wants to see katsuki bring home a partner for them to meet.
it's a pain in the ears and he's very TIRED so he decided to just fake date somebody.
the only person he can tolerate in class a aside from kirishima is you. he doesn't care about the other extras.
he'll search for you in the heights' lounge area and ask to talk.
"hey, can we talk?" he grumbles, "uhh, sure? do you want to talk here or somewhere private?" "somewhere private."
when you guys are in a more private area, he'd glare at you for a minute, it'll make you wonder if you did something wrong, before finally speaking.
"date me for a fucking day."
you'll snort at what he said and laugh thinking it was a joke but the annoyed and impatient look on his face says otherwise.
"wait.. are you for real?" "what do you think, shithead?"
bakugo trusts you so much that you have this significant role to play in his life.
you agreed, of course. it's the bakugo katsuki asking for your help. a once in a lifetime chance. (you just like him, stop making things up)
he brings you to the bakugo household the day after and his house is BIG big.
mitsuki, his mom, welcomes you with a big smile and a hug. he then glares at his son, "WHY ARE YOU ONLY BRINGING THIS PRETTY LITTLE CREATURE NOW, YOU BRAT?" "SHUT UP, OLD HAG! BE NICE OR I AIN'T BRINGING THEM HERE NO MORE."
masaru, who's just sitting there at the couch like nothing's happening, gives you a wave.
the dinner was good. his mom's a great cook, his father's a chatterbox. what surprised you the most was how quiet katsuki is. you're not sure why. maybe he's like this at home? quiet, calm, just serene.
"it's not everyday i see a person who can tame my brat of a son. i can see why he likes you, (y/n)." his mom beams at you, "you're pretty, a kind little one too. take care of my son, will ya?"
not knowing what to say, you smiled at her and said what's currently inside your mind, "if he'll let me, i'll take care of him for the rest of my life." you looked down, "but knowing katsuki, he doesn't need anyone to take care of him. he's strong and independent and he knows it. it'll hurt his pride if someone helps him without him asking them to." you smiled to yourself, "i just hope he knows that when he needs me, i'll always be here for him."
mitsuki smiled at you in awe. you have the mother's approval, congrats!
katsuki just stared at you with furrowed eyebrows, masaru pats his back, "good job, son. i'm happy for you."
he then murmured a protest before drinking his water.
time passed by and it's eventually your time to say goodbye to the bakugos.
mitsuki hugs you for the last time and ask you to come have dinner with them again, masaru pats your head and thanks you for being there for his son.
both of you were in a car provided by the school for safety protocols when he spoke, "did you mean it?"
you looked at him, confused, "mean what?" "what you said earlier to my mom, shithead. did you mean it?" "well, yeah. i mean it when i say i'll always be here for you."
he wore this unreadable and unclear expression on his face. he looks mad? confused? no one knows.
"why?" he asked, "why what?" "WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING ME REPEAT MYSELF. WHY DID YOU SAY IT?" "YOU'RE A FRIEND OF MINE, THAT'S IT."
he chuckled bitterly, "a friend. that's fucking funny. i literally though you also like me for a second."
huh.. what does he mean? also? you laughed nervously, "hey, did i hear you right? thought i heard 'also' there."
"you're fucking dense, aren't you? do you want me to scream it straight at your face? i fucking like you."
you froze. yes, but embarrassment caught up and you covered your reddened face, "WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY CONFESSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?"
"I AIN'T EXPECTING YOU TO SAY ANYTHING, SHITHEAD!" "I LIKE YOU TOO!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY OF A CONFESSION." "IT'S NOT A PITY OF A CONFESSION BUT FINE! I DON'T LIKE YOU." "OKAY THEN. I'M BRINGING SOMEONE ELSE NEXT DINNER AND TELL THE OLD HAG WE BROKE UP." "NOOOOOOO!!"
ㅡ todoroki
i was contemplating whether to have him help fake date or have him need help. it's fitting if he's the one in need so i decided just that.
he might seem dense and clueless most of the time but he's the epitome of evilness.
he talks about you all the time that's why fuyumi has taken a liking to you and asked shoto to invite you to dinner with them.
shoto sees this as a chance. he'll take advantage of the situation because he knows you won't say no.
he goes to where you are sitting, "i apologize but my sister, fuyumi, she thinks we're dating. she wants to invite you to dinner at our house later." he said that with a straight face but this mf is smirking on the inside.
"uhhh, okay? sure? but uhm, why would she think we're dating?" "she thinks everyone close to me is dating me. she's like that.. yes. fuyumi likes you the most, i think. that's.. uh, that's why she's inviting you to dinner." (I HC HIM AS A BAD LIAR)
sounds suspicious and weird, but okay? you have a lot of question in mind.
"i would go. but how should i act? why didn't you tell her we aren't dating though?" "i don't want to disappoint my sister. you can act like you're dating me, if it's fine with you. just for a day."
"sure, sure! just tell me where and what time. i'll be there." "no, you can come with me. we'll go there together."
he brings you to the todoroki household after class. their house is soooo pretty. it's a traditional japanese house.
fuyumi was the first one to greet you, with her sparkling eyes and bright smile, she held both your hands gently and said, "i'm so glad you came! i've been wanting to ask shoto to have you come eat with us. thank you for coming!"
natsuo jogged from the back and gave you a cool wave, "hey, (y/n). how was it dealing with shoto?"
you faked sighed, "awful. how did you deal with him for the last 16 years?" "we never did." "oh.... OH NO I'M SORRY!" "HAHAHA. it's fine, i'm just kidding. no biggie."
enji won't be home for the day. he's busy doing number 1 hero works.
the dinner was fun. it was the funniest dinner you have ever had.
shoto's quietness is the exact opposite of natsuo's talkativeness. that man is talkative and funny as fuck. throwing jokes everywhere. it was entertaining.
all shoto did was take care of you. he serves you all the food you point at, gets you water, he even went too close for comfort and wiped a stain just above your lips. it made you blush, yes. you don't know why but it left you lightheaded. (you're in love with him, that's why)
fuyumi.. our beautiful and beloved fuyumi.
she exposed his brother's ass.
"aww. you guys are so cute together. ah! (y/n), do you remember that time when.. uhm, kaminari was it? i forgot his name but do you remember that time where he told you, midoriya, and the girls to wear a maid costume for the festival because your class is having a maid cafe booth? shoto told me you were so pretty that time! he hated how the boys in your class looked at you like you were some sweet treat, isn't that right, shoto?"
"and do you remember when you fought bakugo at the sports festival? where it was a close fight and you gave him a hard time? shoto said you won if the decision was up to him and that you were so cool!"
and she went on and on.
shoto was red as a tomato (or even redder) beside you. he was clutching his pants as if he was asking the floor to just eat him up.
you decided to ask him about this later to not uncover the fake dating plan.
dinner ended after a little talking, fuyumi gave you leftovers to take home which you will not reject because her cooking is divine, and asked you to come again after giving you a big and warm hug.
natsuo gave you a high five and thanked you for coming. he also thanked you for laughing at his jokes. he feels like he's very funny now.
both said goodbye to shoto.
the journey back to the heights was quiet but not awkward. it seems like shoto knew you have a lot in mind.
you spoke when he's about to open the main door. "what was that?" he looked at you with a confused expression, "the one at dinner."
"ah, if it isn't obvious yet after my sister opened her mouth, i like you. i have been for a long time now." he said that with a deadpan expression, "it annoyed me at first, it annoyed me that you're in my mind whenever i try to sleep, you're in my mind everytime i wake up. it annoyed me that i want nothing more than to hold you near me, hold your hands, warm you up with my fire everytime you feel cold, hug you, kiss you." he sighed frustratedly, "i just want to do everything with you... i'm sorry. i'm not good with words."
WELL YOU DID NOT EXPECT HIM TO BE THIS STRAIGHTFORWARD.
but again, this is todoroki shoto.
"..what? shoto... i didn't know you felt that way. why didn't you tell me?" you asked him concernedly, you lifted your hand to hold his face but stopped halfway thinking maybe he doesn't want to be touched.
but then he held your hand and guided it to hold his face, "i didn't actually plan to confess but when people started talking about how good of a hero you'd become in the future and when everyone started saying they all want to date you, that's when i decided it's now or never." he looked at your eyes, "i don't want to lose this chance. that's why i started telling fuyumi stories about you and asking her what to do."
"is that why your sister thought we were dating?" "yes. she knows about how i feel for you. she told me to confess and i told her i did and that it went well. i lied to her. i don't know why."
you coughed, "so, she doesn't really think everyone close to you is dating you?" "yes." "you lied to me?" "yes, i apologize."
"you could have told me you like me too!?" "it's not that easy to confess. plus, i really wanted to know how everything will go. it went well, i'm satisfied. you like me too, right?" "i do, shoto. i like you so much." he smiled at you, that rare fucking smile he knows is pretty, "that's enough for me."
"BUT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF EVERYTHING?" "yes. yes, i did." "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!!?" "date me, (y/n)" "OKAY!"
ㅡ midoriya
a lot of guys from the other class have been bothering you. they kept on asking for your number and stuff. one even sent you flowers and a box of chocolates.
you appreciate it if you're being honest. what you don't appreciate is them sticking to you the whole lunch.
you told mina what's happening and she told you that the best shot of getting off those admirers of yours is to date somebody.
you don't wanna to that though. aside from focusing on studies, you have feelings for this certain someone with green messy hair and freckles. you don't want to date someone just to use them and lie to them.
"you know, what if you just get your shit together and confess to midoriya?" "MINA, BE QUIET! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU!" "confess to midoriya!" she whispired.
"or just ask him to date you until your followers stop following you around?" kaminari interjects, "what, you mean like, fake date him?" "yeah. something like that." "you're really useful sometimes, aren't you?" "shut up, mina."
you've thought about it all night. would izuku think i'm using him? would he reject the idea? would he be mad about it?
after contemplating, you finally went out of your room and walked straight at his door. he opened it with a smile after 3 knocks.
"hey, (y/n)! how can i help you?"
you looked at him nervously. what you were about to ask is a big part to act. "i will get straight to the point. some people from the other classes have been bothering me for a while now. they keep on following me and asking for my number even though i rejected them all the time. i want to ask you if you could date me? IT'S FAKE! OF COURSE. will you please fake date me until they get off me? i, uh, i'm not taking advantage of your kindness. i promise. right?" you said with a shaking voice.
he laughed at your rambling, "no need to be nervous, (y/n)! i would love to do the honors and fake date you! it's like an undercover hero mission. it's so cool! when do we start?"
you smiled at his enthusiasms. izuku is really the kindest person here on earth. you told him what to do, who those people are, etc. your fake dating starts tomorrow.
izuku was waiting outside your door when you opened it, he has his usual beaming smile when you saw him, "hi, (y/n)! ready to start our mission?" he's surely so into this whole thing.
you both walked down the lounge area holding each other's hand. everyone was gaping at the sight except todoroki who remained munching on his sandwich and bakugo who, well, "fucking finally you idiots." he said.
izuku let go of your hand and held both his hands up while shaking his head in a panicky manner, "no, no! we're just fake dating. i'm helping (y/n) get rid of their admirers! they said it was bothering them!"
"okay. but (y/n), why deku?" the motherfucker was smirking at you. todoroki, bless him, caught the panic in your eyes and called bakugo off. "that's enough, bakugo. leave them alone." "tsk! fucking icyhot a fucking killjoy."
most of your admirers stopped following you after they saw you holding hands with izuku. he's been doing a lot for you. he tried to tie your hair at training and brought you water. nothing much happened inside the classroom because everyone knows it's just a show. lots of outsiders believe you're dating izuku. some still bothers you from time to time especially at lunch.
you were sitting with bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, and of course, izuku, when a group of 3 went to your table (they're brave. no one would come bother bakugo's table because everyone's terrified of him.)
"hey, (y/n). can you give me your number now? i just wanted to get to know you better." "(y/n) give me your number! i'll send you lots of chocolates. i promise!" "they're liars but i'm not. i'd take you to your favorite movie this sunday of you'll give me your number?"
you pursed your lips in an annoyed manner, your friends are here and they're embarrassing you. you were about to speak when izuku beats you to it, "please stop bothering (y/n). it's obvious that my partner doesn't want to give you their number."
the group stared at each other with bewildered expressions on their faces, one looked at izuki and asked, "partner? you mean, combat partner or boyfriend? (y/n)'s dating someone?"
izuku wore a prideful expression on his face, "yes, i am their boyfriend and they're dating someone. that's why with all due respect, please leave them alone."
the 3 backed out and apologized. not everyone has the same personality as mineta. the person who seemed like their leader walked forward and bowed, "we're so sorry. we should've stopped when they rejected us the first time. they're just so intriguing that's why we wanted to know more about them. we're really sorry." with that, they left.
you faced izuku and thanked him. it was nice to finally walk and look around without seeing unfamiliar faces follow you. "thank you so much, izuku! you saved me. really."
he smilled at you, "it's nothing! i'd do anything for (y/n)." izuku froze at what he said and started chuckling anxiously, "i.. i didn't mean it like that! hahaha! but if you need anything, i, uhm, i'd always be glad to help." you stared at him and said, "me too, izuku. i'd always be glad to help you! you can come to me everytime you need something." he blushed at what you said.
"FUCKING IDIOTS JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY! I'M TIRED OF HEARING BOTH YOUR SHIT! CONFESS TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT!" "oi bakugo. that's not how to do it." "SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR!" "bakugo, you're too noisy." "YOU HALF AND HALF BASTARD I'M TIRED OF YOU TOO!"
izuku coughed tensely, "(y/n), can i talk to you outside? i just need to tell you something." you nodded, "of course!" you both stood up and left the table of wild animals.
when the two of you got outside, izuku's hands were obviously shaking so without a thought, you held it. "are you okay?" "I AM... i am." "why are you acting like this? did something happen?" you asked worriedly.
"no, everything's fine. i just.. i don't know how it started but i just woke up one day thinking how i'd love you to be mine. i want to walk you to school, i want to tell everyone i'm your boyfriend, i want to kiss you good night. haha, is it to much to ask, (y/n)? i like you a lot." he told you that nervously, the boy was shaking and sweating.
"i can't believe it... izuku, i like you too. oh god, are you serious?" "i am, haha! i didn't know you feel the same. i'm really happy!" "i didn't know you feel the same too! half of our classmates knew that i like you. katsuki's just too noisy. he literally told everyone when you did extra training." "(y/n).. kacchan also knows about my feelings for you! he told todoroki and kirishima. is that why he's so persistent in getting us together?" "i don't know. that's just how he is."
you both were awkward as fuck but izuku asked if you'd like to date for real and you said yes.
when you came back to the table, it was bakugo who spoke first, "are you idiots finally together?" you replied to him with a middle finger which aggravated the blondie, "YOU FUCKER!"
#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha#bnha#bakugo headcanons#shoto headcanons#midoriya headcanons#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#todoroki headcanons#todoroki shoto#bakugo katsuki#midoriya izuku#bakugo x reader#todoroki x reader#shoto x reader#midoriya x reader#deku x reader#todoroki shouto#bakugou katsuki
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Secret's Out
Summary: Request! Reid and Y/N are secretly dating, but their business doesn't stay their business for long.
Warnings: Criminal Minds level violence
Word Count: 2974
a/n: Thank you for the request! I hope you like it :)
Sorry this took forever! It took me a while to think of case details that I liked and then I kept rewriting parts. I think I'm finally happy with it though!
Masterlist
"Spencer!" You pushed him away. "The doors could open at any moment! How are we supposed to keep this a secret if Morgan walks in on us kissing in the elevator?" You raised a brow at him.
"On average, elevators travel at a speed of 200 ft/min or about 4 seconds per floor. Being on the fifth floor means we have about 20 seconds to ourselves." He smiled triumphantly.
"Yeah, until someone surprises us on floor 3." You rolled your eyes, stepping out of the doors once they opened.
"I can't help it. I'm just... really happy with you." He whispered softly.
"I'm really happy too." You smiled at him. You were about to lean in when the elevator doors opened once again to reveal JJ and Emily.
"Hey guys, ready for another case?" Emily glanced between you suspiciously, but thankfully didn't ask any prying questions.
"Yep, let's go!" You turned quickly, walking into the round table room without so much as a glance back at the three agents by the elevator.
"What's with her?" JJ questioned.
"Said she didn't sleep well last night. Must be all the caffeine." He held his own cup off coffee up in solidarity before also walking to the round table room.
"Alright, we've got 3 dead in Billings, Montana. All three were law enforcement, and all three were found this morning around the city." You listened as Penelope introduced the details of the case.
"Could be someone who feels the police didn't do a good enough job protecting a loved one?" You threw out a theory.
"Or someone who feels wronged by the criminal justice system as a whole." Rossi added on.
"Either way, they likely won't stop until we catch them. Wheels up in 20." Hotch rose from his seat as he spoke, wasting no time in preparing for take off.
You all dispersed briefly to grab your go bags, meeting back at the SUVs to head to the jet.
Once boarded, it didn't take long for the conversation to start up again.
"When we land, L/N go to the morgue. Dave, Prentiss take the first and second crime scenes, they're only a mile apart. Morgan and Reid, check out the third scene. I'll head to the precinct with JJ."
With Hotch's instructions set, you took what little time you had left on the flight to go over the causes of death.
-
"Anything stand out to you on the bodies?" You asked the ME after going over the blunt force trauma and bullet wounds.
"There's tape residue and bruising on the wrists and ankles. Based on the state of bruising, they were likely held for about 3 days before they were killed."
"Thank you for your help." You shook hands, pulling out your phone to call Hotch.
"Hotchner."
"Hotch, they were held for days before they were killed. How did nobody notice they were missing?" There was nothing in the reports that indicated the victims were reported missing prior to being found.
"We just found the same pattern. They all used vacation days for various reasons in the days leading up to their deaths. Meet us back at the precinct and Reid can explain the whole pattern."
"Okay, I'm leaving now." You hung up just as you reached the SUV. Throughout the drive, you couldn't stop thinking that something wasn't adding up.
The victims were taken in the same day. It didn't make sense for the unsub not to escalate. So, why aren't any officers unaccounted for?
Suddenly, a truck crashed into your SUV, sending you flying off the road. A figure dressed in black opened the door and dragged you from the car.
"Agent L/N, it's so good to see you again." A male voice spoke, but you couldn't place it.
He hit you over the head with a handgun before dragging you to his own vehicle.
-
"Where's L/N?" Emily questioned when her and Rossi returned from the second dumpsite.
"On her way back from the ME." Hotch answered. "Did you find anything useful?"
"They truly are dumpsites. Both bodies were found by dumpsters, sending a pretty clear message." Dave replied.
"Same for the third site." Derek added on.
"All three victims were single and took time off leading up to their death. Nobody would've notice that they were missing until it was too late." Reid supplied the final bit of information gathered.
Hotch's phone rang before anyone else could comment. The frantic sound of Garcia's nails clicking against her keyboard echoed through the phone. She was talking before anyone could greet her.
"You need to see this, check your tablets."
Confused glances were exchanged as everyone, barring Reid, opened their tablets. Reid glanced over Morgan's shoulder to observe as well.
A seemingly live video that Garcia received a link to was streaming to the tablets.
A single woman sitting in a chair could be seen in the frame. Her wrists and ankles were bound to the chair with thick, gray tape and a bag was over her head.
"Garcia, what is this?" Hotch asked almost immediately.
"I was emailed the link just now. It's not streaming anywhere else online." Her reply came quickly, the sound of typing still filling in the silence.
"Can you trace it?" Rossi questioned.
"I'm trying, but it's being routed through multiple proxy servers."
"Did the email say anything?" Emily chimed in.
"No, it was just the link- Wait. I just got another email." She paused as the new email loaded. "It's addressed to Reid."
Every set of eyes in the room turned to Reid.
"What does it say?" He felt the nerves beginning to grow waiting for Garcia to read the words aloud.
"Dr. Reid,
I hope you remember me. What am I saying, of course you do. I've got something of yours that you might want back. You see Dr. Reid, you and your team ruined me. My family, my career, all of it, just gone. I thought I'd return the favor. A person's phone can be so informative. Tell me, does your team know about your girlfriend? I've so enjoyed getting reacquainted with her.
Happy hunting."
Spencer's face went white as he looked at Morgan's tablet again. His thoughts were racing. How did he not recognize you before? Even with the bag over your head, he should've known it was you.
"It's her." His words were barely a whisper.
"This is your girlfriend?" Morgan gestured to the screen again. Spencer could only nod in reply, his mind unable to focus on anything except you.
"Reid, listen to me. You've got to tell us everything you know about her. We'll have to split up. You can go back to Quantico with Emily and Morgan, the rest of us will stay here to work on our current case." Hotch was already devising a strategy to work both cases.
"There's no need." His words made sense to him, but sounded cryptic to the rest of the team.
"Kid, of course there is. We'll help you get her back." Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively shocking him back to the present situation.
"There's no need to split up because she's here. She's in Montana." Before he could continue, everyone was asking questions.
"Give me a phone number and I'll get you a location." Garcia was already typing away again.
"Are you sure she's here?" JJ's brows furrowed. She did her best to hide the hurt of her best friend hiding his girlfriend from her, again.
"Why would she be here?" Rossi added.
"How did she get here? Maybe we can track the transportation and figure out means of abduction." Emily was the only one thinking about the case.
Like ripping off a bandaid, Spencer blurted out the truth.
"It's Y/N."
He was met with silence in the room as everyone absorbed the information.
Garcia caught up first, a sudden gasp sounding through the phone.
"So, then that's Y/N... in the video..." Her voice wavered.
As if a switch was flipped, the team was back on the case.
"Garcia, get me a list of anyone who would have a grievance with the team." Hotch ordered.
"Go through anyone who was falsely accused. Start with cases in or around Montana. He would want to keep this close to home." Rossi specified.
"We've only had one case in Montana since Y/N joined the team." Reid supplied the knowledge as it came to him. "A name, I need a name." He muttered to himself, pulling his hair as he roughly ran his hands through it and over his face. "Garcia, look into Jameson Braddock."
"Got it." She immediately began a background check, searching through case files and news articles for additional information. "i'll get back to you with locations." With that, she hung up.
"Fill us in, kid. Who is Jameson Braddock." Morgan lead Reid to a chair, gently easing him into it.
"Our last case in Montana, Emily and I went to interview a witness." Emily nodded, the memories slowly coming back to her.
"He wasn't very forthcoming, and then he tried to run." She added on.
"Exactly, except he didn't make it very fair. We arrested him, but it turned out he was only guilty of selling alcohol to minors. When word of his arrest got out, the whole town thought it was for the serial rapes and murders we were investigating even though it was never confirmed."
"By the time we corrected the media, it was too late." JJ supplied, also remembering the man.
"So, he killed three officers just to draw us out back out here?" Morgan refocused the conversation on the current case.
"It looks that way now. The media knew we were coming, so he must have as well." Emily theororized. "If he followed us from the airport, he would've seen Y/N leave by herself."
"He likely didn't know about your relationship until he abducted her and went through her phone." Hotch paced the room.
"He's flaunting his power over us." Rossi chimed in just as Hotch's phone rang again.
"Garcia, what've you got?"
"Three addresses in Billings, Montana. Jameson Braddock has been on a downward spiral since your last trip there. His entire life fell apart, like he said. Divorced, his wife moved to Nebraska with their two kids. He lost his job at the high school, and was evicted from his house when he could no longer pay the bills." She listed the information quickly.
"He has ties to three addresses. Nobody has moved into his previous house, so it's vacant. He's got a small apartment in the northern part of the city which he pays for through working odd hours at Taco Bell. Finally, he briefly worked security at a now abandoned warehouse."
"An apartment wouldn't be enough space to hold her without the chance of someone hearing. She's not there." Rossi eliminated the location as an option.
"We'll split up to cover the warehouse and the house-" Hotch began, but Reid cut him off.
"No, we shouldn't split up. She's got to be at the house. The warehouse has no connection to his previous life. He wants revenge for our perceived wrongdoing, he wouldn't make his last stand at a new location." Reid was already putting on a bullet proof vest. Despite how his mind was racing, he refused to show how afraid he was.
"You're sure?" Morgan asked, on the fence about committing to one location.
"Absolutely." With that, Reid was out the door heading for the SUVs.
-
"Rossi, Emily head around back. I'll take the front with Reid. JJ and Morgan, the side door." Hotch instructed the team to split up upon arrival at the house.
Reid wasted no time in approaching the house. He was confident you were inside, but he didn't know what was happening to you.
The main floor was cleared quickly. Again, the team split up to cover the upper level and the basement.
Knowing you were likely downstairs, Reid immediately started that direction, JJ and Hotch following him.
It wasn't hard for him to find you. You were still tied to the chair in the middle of the room, bag over your head.
Before anyone could stop him, Reid lowered his gun and ran to you. He gently maneuvered the bag off your head, stopping his movements only when he felt something press into his back.
"Dr. Reid. So kind of you to join us." Braddock spoke maniacally, pressing the gun against Reid's head.
"Drop your weapon." Hotch commanded, but the man only cackled in response.
'Y/N... Y/N." Reid gently shook you in an attempt to wake you up.
"She can't hear you." Braddock singsonged.
"What did you do?" Reid tried to turn to him only to feel the gun press further into his head.
"Like I said in my email, you people ruined my life. They took everything from me, so I thought I'd try to return the favor." During his short speech, Braddock shifted just enough for JJ to get a clean shot.
He fell to the ground, gun clattering across the floor.
Reid moved quickly to remove the tape binding you to the chair while Hotch called for a medic in the basement.
The entire team watched as you were wheeled into the ambulance, still unconscious, none more scared than Spencer.
-
"She's going to be fine, Spence." JJ tried to reassure him, nonetheless his pacing continued.
"You don't know that. We don't even know what he did to her." He had one hand anxiously running through his hair, the other pinching the bridge of his nose in distress.
Just then, a doctor emerged from behind closed doors.
"F/N L/N." She called into the waiting room, slightly taken aback when the group of agents rushed to her.
"It was touch and go for a while, but she got here just in time." It was visible to even the least qualified profiler how relieved the team felt. Their previously tense shoulders relaxed, frowns turned to small smiles, wide eyes and raised brows pinched together with joy.
"What happened?" Emily posed the question everyone was thinking.
"In short, she was drugged. It's not clear what exactly was used, but it was likely a mix of drugs that attempted to stop her heart."
"Can we see her?" Morgan spoke next, cautiously eyeing Reid.
"You may, follow me." The doctor lead them through a series of hallways to your room. "She should be waking up soon."
With that the doctor left, allowing the team to file into the room. You looked strangely peaceful for someone who almost died.
"So..." JJ glanced between you and Spencer. "Girlfriend, huh?"
His eyes went wide. Instinctively, he turned to you for help, but you were still asleep. He opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out.
"Relax, kid." Morgan grinned. "We're happy as long as you two are happy."
Spencer smiled gratefully, looking at you with an adoring gaze. "We are happy."
"How long?' Emily gestured to your joined hands. Just before Spencer could answer, you groaned.
"I want to hear your guesses first." Your voice was raspy, but there was a clear smile on your face. "Also, what happened?"
The quickly explained the email Garcia received and the events that followed.
"Now that that's cleared up, do tell us how long you think we've been together. I know you've got a bet going." You narrowed your eyes, playfully glaring at each team member.
"4 months." Hotch begrudgingly admitted. JJ followed with 3 months, Derek and Rossi both betting 10 weeks, and Emily going with 6 weeks.
"Ha, you're all wrong." You smiled triumphantly, leaning closer to Spencer.
"Wait, we haven't heard from Garcia." Derek smirked as he rung her on speaker phone.
"Oh, my beautiful crime fighters. Y/N, are you okay?" Your smile widened at the concern in her voice.
"I am indeed, but I have a very important question for you." You glanced as Spencer briefly before continuing. "How long do you think Spence and I have been together?"
"Oh, I know this one!" Her excitement caught everyone but you off guard. "7 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days."
Spencer's jaw dropped as he stuttered out, "that's exactly right..."
"How'd you figure it out?" The group of profilers wore matching expressions of surprise as Penelope explained.
"Well, we had just finished testifying in the Bigelow trial. The whole team went out for drinks, and I could just see it in Y/N's eyes the next day that something wonderful happened. At first I just thought that she got some, but then I saw her and the good doctor in the kitchen getting coffee and I knew." Penelope's voice held a mixture of smugness and pure excitement.
"Babygirl, you didn't tell me?" Derek sounded genuinely offended.
"Y/N asked me not to." Even though you couldn't see her, you knew she punctuated the statement with a shrug.
"You knew, she knew?" Spencer turned to you in shock.
You nodded. "I could see it on her face the second I walked out of the kitchen. But she promised not to tell, so I didn't either."
"The two of you, thick as thieves." Rossi lamented.
"I love you so much." Spencer whispered into your ear as he pulled you in for a hug.
"I love you too." You whispered right back.
"Honestly, I'm glad the secret's out." You smiled at Spencer before looking at the rest of the team. "Although, I wish I didn't have to be kidnapped to tell you."
You spent a few more hours in the hospital before being cleared to go back to the hotel.
The next morning, you smiled to yourself as you were finally able to cuddle with Spencer during the flight home.
Permanent taglist:
@averyhotchner
@jesuswasnotawhiteman
@strawberryspence
@sebastnstn
Criminal Minds taglist:
@mac99martin
@goldeng1rl8
@measure-in-pain
#spencer reid x reaader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fic#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds fic
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Cheat Day Part 2
I don't know what made me write this, but I hope this makes some sense. Dedicated to the sweetest @hstyleswomen @harrysficreblog
Masterist
Warnings: Angst
WC: 2800
Six years later.
The first few years of the split were brutal. You both couldn't spend a moment in the room with each other without crying or fighting. There seemed to be no end to your suffering, it seemed. But like all wounds, time heals most. You just needed some time to get your head in the game. Luna was your priority, after all.
Harry and you had found a rhythm in co-parenting. He would have her on weekdays for half the month, and rest you would have her. You both would alternate on weekends. As years have gone by, you both have learned to spend more time together, for Moonie's sake. Last year, you went on a vacation too. You, Moonie, Harry and his girlfriend Lisa. You and Lisa didn't have a great start, but both of you decided to hash it out for the sake of your little girl. She loved Moonie as her own, and you couldn't be more grateful. Lisa and Moonie had a beautiful relationship; she was a friend you little moon needed. Whenever Harry and you had arguments, Lisa would take Moonie and excuse herself out of the crossfire. Spending time with Lisa has made Moonie realise that it's possible to have more than one parental figure, and you can love them all the same. You couldn't be happier. You had finally got the opportunity to dive back into work fully and have a support system. That's what Lisa and Harry had become to you. Your support system.
Lisa and Harry met two years after the split. She had always been very kind to you, but it took you some getting used to the idea of your ex-husband with somebody else. So, of course, there was friction at first, but over time once you got to know her a little bit, you both got on very well. It definitely has something to do with the way she treated your daughter.
Lisa was a widow. Her husband and the little boy died in a freak accident. She never told you the details of how it happened, but it was something she was dealing with on her own. Harry had supported her through her grieving process, and that's what brought them together. It can seem odd to people how they got together, but those who know them know they're great for each other. Harry had changed too, since meeting her. He had a newfound appreciation for his daughter and his ex-wife and the relationship they had. That's what pushed him to work through the differences he had with you. He had to find a way to make things work and still be in your daughter's life. It took a lot of fights and compromise. But in the end, you two decided to put your past behind and march on ahead as a family. Even though it's not what you had signed up for in this relationship, but that doesn't mean you're not grateful for it.
It was Friday night, and Harry and Lisa would be coming in with Moons anytime now. It was a tradition you three had started for your little girl. Anne was coming over too. She wasn't happy with what happened, but she made peace with the situation like her son. You had taken the home you and Harry had bought, and he'd moved into another house close by. You both decided you needed to be closer to Luna. Even though it had led to multiple fights, in the end, you knew it was the best decision to stay close by. A few years ago, when Luna's appendix burst, he was close by to drive you both to the hospital and took care of at the hospital. When you have to go on work trips, he is there to take her in. It's an unconventional set-up, but it works.
Harry walks into your house with a very smiley Lisa on his arm. "Why are you smiling so much?" You ask her. She shows you her hand coyly. "Harry proposed to me this afternoon." Anne looks up from her phone, surprised. She smiles wide and the couple "Oh honey! I'm so happy for you both!" She rushes to hug the couple. Luna runs up to Lisa and Harry to embrace them. "I'm so happy for Pa! and you too, Lise!" Harry reaches down to her level and kisses her on the cheek. You were just standing and watching this exchange, kind of stunned. You knew they were serious, but you didn't think he was going to propose. You quickly recover and walk over to Lisa, "I'm so happy for you, Lisa! Congratulations!" You hug her, and over her shoulder, you can see Harry looking at you, and you wipe your eyes quickly and pull away from the hug.
The night goes better than you'd expected. You all celebrated with a nice bottle of wine and stories of how they met, and she told stories of her first few times interacting with Moons. Overall it was a beautiful night of reminiscing. Too bad you disagreed. You'd had a little too much to drink and caught Harry looking over to you every time you refilled your glass. You knew better than to call him out on it. So you just sat in a corner and wished you'd disappear.
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You wake by the incessant ringing coming from your phone. It's Harry. It's pretty late for him to be calling you, so you answer. "Harry, what's wrong?" You ask.
"Open your door; I'm outside." He speaks. You look at the time on your phone and get back on call. "What are you doing here? Why'd you call?" You ask again. "Just come out. I'll explain." You get out of bed and wear your robe and walk downstairs to your main door.
"Harry. What are you doing here? Are you drunk?" You look at him, confused.
He walks in. "I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have asked Lisa to marry me. I knew it when I broke the news to you today. I knew it was a bad call. I thought you wanted me to move on, but looking at your face today, I couldn't believe I had done that to you." He breathes out.
You look at him wide-eyed at his confession. "What the fuck? Did you just walk in here thinking you were going to make this stupid fucking argument and I was going to fall for it?" You say to him.
"Y/N, I know you love me."
"Of course, I love you, you bloody moron. I do, and I have for the last 15 years. But you cheated on me, remember? And you brought Lisa into our lives, whom I love very dearly, by the way. So what do you think was going to happen?"
"I can't stand being away from you. Living so close, yet you won't let me come near you. It's been killing me slowly each day." His lip was trembling as tears well in his eyes.
"Harry, you made this choice 4 years ago. You asked her to marry you. Why would you do this to me now?"
"I just need to kiss you once, please. Harry pleads.
"Think about Luna. Think about what you're ruining for her. We have already broken up our family. You can't break it anymore and cause her pain, please. I love you, I do. Very very much, and I can't stand here and watch you ruin yet another relationship, Harry."
"Please listen to what I'm saying. I love you, goddamnit! I need you to recognise that. I need you to tell me it will be okay, and we will be okay."
"We are okay, H. As okay as we can be. Please go back home to your fiancé, and don't bring this up again ever. For the sake of our daughter. Please." You're pleading with him now with tears streaming freely.
You turn around and walk back to your room. You laid back on your bed and cried quietly into your pillow.
You knew what you were going to do.
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You stand outside the door of your ex's mother. You have no idea how you will tell her what you have done to her daughter-in-law to be. But you had no one to turn to. So, you ring the doorbell and wait for her to open the door.
"Hello, darling! What a wonderful surprise!" She beams at you. You give her a small smile and walk into the house. You get comfortable on the couch in the living area while she closes the door and comes up to where you're sitting. "Moonie didn't want to come along?" She asks as she goes back to folding the laundry you had caught her in the midst of. "No, it's just me today." You spoke. "Let me put on some tea, and we'll have a good ol' mother-daughter chat. What d'ya say?" She smiles. "Yes. That sounds like a great plan." You smiled.
You both sat at the kitchen island, sipping on peppermint tea and mindlessly talking about things and catching up. You had yet to tell her. "Darling, let's stop beating around the bush, shall we?" Anne says to you. You freeze. She couldn't have known, but she definitely knows what's up.
"Harry came to talk to me the night he proposed." You looked down at your cup shamefully. Anne reached out to place her palm on yours, "I know. He told me." She smiles sadly.
"Yeah, and I can't live here anymore knowing how he feels." You whisper. "Are you going to tell him?" Anne seems calm like she understands how this must feel. "No." You look up at her with tears welling up in your eyes.
She gets up from across the table and comes around to where you are seated. She reaches out to you, and you lean into her and hold her waist, silently crying.
"Everything will fall in place, my child."
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You travelled a lot the following month, so it was easier to avoid Harry after that conversation you had. You had spent countless nights crying into your pillow. You knew you had to go back to therapy. You couldn't slip now. You had been doing so well.
Moonie was supposed to stay with you tonight. Harry would be dropping her off from ballet any moment now. You had been avoiding him ever since the incident between you too. You couldn't bear to look at him or Lisa. You just made up excuses most Fridays, some of which you were travelling, so it wasn't that big a deal. You were home to spend time with your girl and back to the office. Today, you'd just have to suck it up and face him. You didn't know what you'd say, but you couldn't avoid him forever. The thought alone had your stomach-churning. Suddenly the tacos you had for lunch didn't seem to be such a great idea. You walked into the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of cold water. You took an icepack from the fridge and carried both the items, and sat back on the couch with your head leaned back. You checked your phone for the time, and just in time, the bell rang. You got up from the sofa and walked up to the door. Opened the door to find Moonie, Harry and Lisa, all standing in front of you. You could see her ring glistening even in the porch light outside your home.
Suddenly you felt lightheaded and reached for the doorframe to steady yourself. Before you could think, you sunk down. But Harry was quick to catch you. Harry knelt beside you and laid your head on his lap, "It's okay, you're okay." He said softly. "Lisa! could you bring her some water, please". That's the last thing you heard before you passed out.
He was still standing behind you. "Are you feeling ill?" You rolled your eyes at him, you tried to sit up, and he helps you. "No, I think it's just the travelling." His eyes softened at your comment, "I've been calling you; you know? Why didn't you answer any of my calls?" He asks.
What were you supposed to say to that? I'm sorry that you want to leave your fiancé for me? Instead, you just shrugged. "I've been busy, Harry. Actually, I don't feel so good right now, so could we maybe talk about this later?" You turned to look at him. He moved backwards and out of your way to give you some room. "Yeah, sure. Can I get you something? I can stay with you for a few hours." He asked. "No. That won't be necessary, Harry. Please go home."
You walk into the living room and find Lisa making a cup of tea. "Hey, you feeling any better?" She smiles at you. She pours the tea into a cup and brings it over to you, "It always helped me, so I figured why not?" You thank her and take the cup from her.
"Yeah, I think it's just the stress from travelling so much. I'll be okay in a few days. I think I'm going to turn in." You asked. "Of course, darling. You just feel better, okay?" She smiles at you. "Honey, Let's head home and give this one some time to rest." She walks up to Harry and puts her arm around him, and sweetly pecks his cheek. He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, I'll just go say goodbye to her", And he walks towards your daughter's room.
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Harry : I need to see you, please.
You: Come over after dinner today.
Harry: See you x
"Are we going to talk about what happened?" He raises an eyebrow at you. "I think we're past the stage of talking at this point." You sigh. "What do you mean?" He asks. He's furrowing his brows at you like he does when he's concerned about something.
"I'm leaving, Harry."
"What."
"Yeah, I have been planning it for 2 months now. I don't know how long I'll be gone."
"I came to tell you that I ended things with Lisa, and I wanted to give us a real shot. Give Moonie an actual shot at a family."
"I don't need to tell you anything, really. We can figure out the details of how we're going to manage custody later over text or call."
"So you're just going to leave your daughter go to god knows where?" He asks you.
"I can't be here anymore, Harry. This opportunity will bring countless more opportunities for Moonie and me. And I need to do this for myself. Now, if you will please." You show him the door.
That was the last time you'd see Harry for a long time. But that's something he didn't need to know.
You didn't know if you'd be able to go through with it. But it had to be done. If Harry were to leave Lisa or not, it had to be on his terms, not because he was in love with you.
A few months later
When you told Anne about your plan, she wasn't exactly on board. But she understood, and she loved you. So, of course, she brought you to her farmhouse for you to stay. You and Luna made an agreement that she wouldn't tell her Pa that you're camping out here. Anne would bring her down on weekends. You'd found a strange confidante in your daughter. Not that you'd go into the details of your relationship with Harry, but she understood many things that you didn't give her credit for. That's how you spent the past few months. Getting to know your daughter, who hadn't been a stranger to your problems with Harry, even though that's how you wanted it to be.
You were sipping your morning coffee as you check your emails for anything you had lined up for the day. The date was looming over you, and you just needed to be as distracted as to not think about the wedding happening right now. You need to occupy yourself with work. So, you open the email folder and find an email from Lisa. She has tried to reach out to your multiple times on call and via text, but you always make an excuse about work or being sick. With time she stopped reaching out so often, and you felt less guilty for moving away.
Dear Leyla,
I can't say I haven't missed you these past few months. Hope you're well. I'm getting married today, and you're not here. In a way, I get why you left. But I just wanted to let you know that I wanted you here, just as much Moonie and Harry. Especially him. But you already knew that, didn't you?
With time, I hope he loves me just as much you love him.
Love,
Lisa.
You couldn't stop crying now. You knew that she knew.
#harry one shot#harry angst#harry styles angst#angsty drabble#angsty fic#hq angst#sad and lonely#husband and wife#self love#lovers#i love him#harry smile#harry icons#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry edward styles#harries#harry styles
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Almost hiding the darkness within
I have no clue how to post this properly but here we go-
Big thanks to @jaybirdsdarling like without her I definitely couldn't have made this or even posted it so thanks babes 😘
Warnings- smut- lots of it, yandere peoples, slight noncon to dubcon? Violence, slight gun play, voyeurism, cuckolding--- basically bring your holy water (there might be more but not sure 😚)
It all started with the landing. Ya' know the one. That superhero landing. The one that looks like it really hurts the knees. When that, a brown leather jacket, red helmet wearing man landed like that in front of her like a human shield. Those that had been trying to mug her, knew it was over before it had started. Before they had a chance to run, he was on them. Limps, noses, all broken when he was done.
When he was done, he just simply stood up and turned to her. She was smiling dumbly, she knew that. Her cheeks hurt, dried tears stained her cheeks, nose stuffed from running and she was sure her hair was a mess from the tugging the men had done. But she didn't care, her savor was right there-
"Miss, always put your money away inside when it's given, not when you're outside. Honestly. I thought this was common knowledge." His mechanical voice rang through the alley as he passed by, his back now to her as he looked over one last time. "And especially not in an alleyway with 100 different kinds of graffiti." And with that, he grappled away.
Y/n's pout was deep as she looked on. Giving a swift kick to one of the robbers that laid on the pavement. "Maybe next time..."
_______
It was like she had planned it. He had to start watching her. He had to. She was like a magnet for trouble. It was almost a nightly thing. Like she would purposely find the most dangerous part in Gotham to go and act like a ditz. She wasn't though. She knew better. He'd seen it. The simple smacks she gave to guys at the diner who got too handsy. She wasn't defenseless. Yeah those were small slaps to the hands, but they were a sign that she definitely could handle herself enough to know not to go into that damn alley. And there she went. In the damn alley. So like he had for the past few weeks, he swung down.
He should know better. He has bigger problems. Like that big fuckin' mafia guy who's selling drugs, weapons and people for gods sake. But there he was. Once again, kicking ass for the same girl, night after night. The simple finger point doing nothing as this time, she walked up- and grabbed it. Bringing his hand close to her face and resting it on her cheek. An unfamiliar touch that had his heart swelling and any bit of anger he held to her disappear in an instant.
She looked up to where his white covered eyes were and smiled, the grime on her face and wrecked hair not taking from the beauty she possessed. Her eyes twinkled under the dim Gotham lights, her smile twisted, breathtaking. "You always seem to be here just in time huh?"
A groan was heard from the men at their feet, earning a kick from her.
Jason's eyebrow tweaked at her action, a small smile creeping to his lips.
"Seems like it, you should be more careful, doll."
A nickname that came so easily. Her heart accepted it with open arms as she pushed her body closer to his, craning her neck back to look at him properly. "But then, how else would I see you Red?"
The man smirked under his helmet, a low chuckle coming out almost like static from the voice changer. Him too taking a step forward. "So, you admit you do this on purpose?"
A low groan erupted from the men again, this time Red kicking them to silence. Y/n hummed and rested her other hand on his waist, their chest pressed gently to each other. "Is that bad? I didn't really know how to work a signal in the sky, so I settled."
"On getting mugged?" The black haired man asked amused, the girl shrugging in response with a small giggle. Jason couldn't hold the smile that spread across his cheeks as he finally snapped the helmet off, the domino mask coming as a disappointment to the shorter girl. Still, she appreciated having something more than an off putting helmet to get off to from now on.
"It worked didn't it?" She spoke softly as she caressed his now exposed cheek.
"There were safer ways." He spoke back, barely above a whisper as their faces neared. Jason felt like his heart would pound out of his chest. Did she really do that for just a chance to see him? She... put her life on the line- for the possibility to see him? That-
That was the nicest thing anyone had done for him.
"Worth it."
Just like that, those last few inches were gone, their lips finally meeting in a soft, heart warming kiss.
Cough. Cough. "Fuckin'-- psychopaths- uggh-" Kick.
_________
Weekly visits became nightly, nightly became daily, and before they knew it, they lived together. Suddenly it became as easy as breathing, being together. Y/n's dumb plans didn't need to happen to get his attention, he was already there. She had his number. She had him in her bed. She had him. Jason knew this. And he was thrilled. He was worried at first. Was he moving too fast? Slow? No. She reassured him. It was just the right pace. She felt the same. They felt like all the pieces to each other's puzzles were finally falling into place.
Until the day happened.
Y/n, was, to put it lightly, odd. The girl had intentionally gotten robbed multiple times just to talk to the guy for god's sake. This, of course, led to her developing a certain set of.....skills.
See, to the common eye it would have looked like she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But she always knew when to go. She knew when he was watching her and when there was something....more important than her that needed help. So when she felt a new set of eyes on her. She knew something was up. It wasn't the other Batfamily members. They honestly....had a hard time wrapping their heads around her and deemed her tolerable at best. No. These were prying eyes.
These eyes didn't leave her. No, no. They stayed. For weeks. She felt them. They were learning. Listening to everything she said, everything she did, seeing everywhere she went. They picked it all up. They were picking up any information from when she got off work to how long she took showers.
And she liked it.
She felt guilty. She felt dirty. She didn't know why she didn't tell Jason. He was her everything after all, and boy would he be furious if he were to learn such things were taking place.....yes....furious.
Boy would she not want that.
So there she was, her wrist tied to a cold metal chair. Her struggles are no longer a problem, her shit talking too due to the gag they placed after the hundredth "when my boyfriend finds out" shtick. Her blindfold long removed as the man responsible sat in front of her, his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at every detail of her exposed skin. Her dress shredded into pieces from the whole ordeal. Y/n held back the smile that tried to spread as she saw him shuffling uncomfortably as his eyes raked over her lower half, her thighs that were spread wider from being tied to opposite legs. Her lower region on display.
The man cleared his throat as he scooted closer, his legs wedging in between her spread ones. The light shone perfectly to every curve of his dark covered face. The only seen color being his eyes and the tips of his cheeks. "So. Shackin' up with Red huh? It must be fun. I imagine you play his therapist a lot? Heard he has alotta daddy issues."
The tied girl let out a huff as she turned her head. How dare he speak like that. He has no idea what Jason has been through. To put it so lightly.
The man tilted to the side to meet her gaze that had turned cold. He laughed. "Oh what? Did I hurt your feelings? Suddenly you feelin' tough or somethin'?" He leaned forward. And that's when she finally gasped. The gag of course muffled it, adding to the already hard to breathe problem she was having. "Yeah. Don't be. Ain't in any position to be acting all high and mighty."
When his hand raised on to her shoulder, his thumb brushing against her pluses before wrapping his hand around her neck to face him, her mind couldn't care less about the man getting physical. The only thing she could think of was what she was looking at. How....she knew how. There was a man who looked like a human but was actually an alien flying around, anything was possible.
So this was the man. She had of course heard of him. Not only from her significant other, but she did use to live in a not so friendly neighborhood. Even then, if you didn't know who this was, well, welcome to Gotham, where there's a Bat running around and a man whose face is literally a black skull. Yes. Black mask.
She mumbled.
The man sighed heavily and took the gag out. "If you say one more thing about the fuckin' Redhood- I will say fuck this whole plan and just send your head instead."
"Just wanted to say I didn't know death took vacations."
The nicely suited man barked a laugh as he stood and straightened his jacket. Y/n's smirk fell as he lowered his face to level with her, his hand resting next to her head dangerously close. "It's going to be fun breaking you."
____________
Jason was losing it. He had pretty much torn the house brick by brick searching for her. His love. His doll. His darling. She wasn't here. She hadn't been for days. Weeks? God what was he kidding. He knew exactly how long. He felt it. When she was taken. Like a sixth sense. He knew something was up. And sure enough, when he got home- she was gone.
He should have put the tracker in. He had talked to her about it, and she agreed to do it. It was safer. But he just...never got around to actually doing it. He had thought about performing some light surgery on her arm, nothing major, just putting it in her arm. That was a bit much. He had thought about putting it into a needle and doing it that way. Decided he didn't want to hurt her. Wanted to put it in her food. Didn't want her to choke. Thought about in a small box! Didn't want her to freak out and think he was proposing. So- here he was. Panicking because he had no idea where she was, if she was alive, and why she was even gone in the first place.
Jason tried to keep his mind from going to a dark place. The place that wondered if it was on purpose. She'd done it before. Stressed him out by putting her life on the line. He thought it was cute almost. "It's not cute anymore." He spoke to no one. The house was in ruins. His fists were bloodied and bruised from all the ass he'd been beating. There were no leads for weeks. Every stone was turned but nothing made sense. Friends couldn't get a word in, Jason created this whole new world where it was just him. "It's not fuckin'- cute- any- more-!" Each scream coming with a new hit, objects and people blending together. He was getting to that place.
What if she actually left? Not a game she played. Not some weird attention seeking act. She.....left.
It wasn't looking good, and it just kept getting worse.
__________
Her h/c sweat covered hair was swooped to the side, her fight dying down. There was no use, it was going to happen either way. "C'mon, don't pretend you don't like it, doll."
She winched. "What? Isn't that what he called you? Doll? Nothing special about it, you are a fucktoy after all." A laugh ripped from Roman's bare chest at his own twisted joke.
Yeah. There he was. Proud of the almost broken woman in front of him, naked and in charge of the situation. The blinking light at the end of the bed was a reminder of how fucked she really was. Both figuratively and literally. His fingers were gilding through her folds with an ease she was ashamed of. The sounds made making her stomach turn. She didn't like this. She wasn't turned on. She didn't want him......
These were the things she used to tell herself.
She was ashamed at how quickly she had felt herself give in. Was that what she always wanted? To be used as some fucktoy for some scumbag that hurt and used her and others however he wanted?
God no. She couldn't have.
She wanted Jason.
Then why....
Why did she spread her legs wider?
They spread as far as she could get them, her soaked core on full display for the camera to see, the man behind it zooming in as they themselves got closer. Getting a quiet growl like warning from Roman not to get too close.
The moans that followed were nothing short of pornographic. Her back was arched off the bed as her legs shook, those wrist restraints keeping her from getting a hold on the man who was putting her through euphoric torture. "Roman..." Her whimper sent a shock straight to the man's cock.
On full attention it stood, bobbing up and down as he moved to unhook her, repositioning her to face the camera on all fours. Her face was.....sinful. Her cheeks were flushed, her mouth gaping opening, her hair tousled. Her body was even still shaking from her previous orgasms leading to her almost falling as Roman began his painfully fast and hard thrust. Her moans rippled straight from her chest out of her throat. His hand wrapped around her hair and yanked it back, her chest heaving and back painfully arched. Sweat dripped off their bodies from what seemed like hours long of pure fucking. His other hand came to her front to rub at her clit in fast motions that had her hips bucky in an unruly way as they couldn't find out to get away or push back. Opting for the latter.
She met his thrust hungrily every time as best she could, the room filled with moans and the sound of skin slapping together at harsh speeds. Roman's pace was unforgiving, it didn't let up after the next orgasms hit her.
"Where should I do it now, huh? You want me to cum in your tight hole again? You can't waste it like you did last time though. If you do, you won't be getting my cock for a long time. And a whore needs their masters cock now don't they?"
Y/n's mouth formed wide Os as she tried to form some words to satisfy him. "Fuck- yes Roman- fuck I promise-" Her moans ripped through. "T-to no-not waste any-of- ohh~"
This seemed to be enough because the next thing she knew, she felt it. His cock twitched violently as his hips lost rhythm, his cum spilling inside of her, filling her once more. His grip on her scalp burned, but she didn't stop from that twisted and sinister smile to spread on her face as she grinded her hips back. A sharp slap being delivered to her ass cheeks as Roman barked out at her, "Stop being such a cock whore." This threatening tone dropped almost immediately as he soon laughed, grappling her chin and tilting her back to kissing her, a sloppy wet heat filled kiss. "Now that video's a keeper."
_____________
Jason finally lost it. Be felt dumb. He felt hurt. He felt utterly betrayed. His sweet, poor darling- the actual fucking cumslut. For Roman. Sionis. He had been hunting her down for months. And there she was. Accepting- no asking- no- begging for Black masks cock. For his cum. The things she did for Jason, she was now doing for that scum. He was pissed. How fucking dare she? After all he's done for her? No- he couldn't think that way. There was no way. It was his darling. His doll. She loved him too much for that. No. It was all an act. It had to be. She would never do that to him.
This is what he wanted to believe as he watched the hour long videos that kept making their way to him. Her lips wrapped hungerly around another man's cock. Being pulled away just for her to stick her tongue out to get another taste, receiving a slap to her cheek. "Don't be such a greedy slut." Was Romans words.
Videos on videos of Roman fucking Jason's girl. Cum filling up every hole the scum could want, all eagerly accepted from the girl he swore would be crying to be saved, instead relishing in the fuck fest she was dealt.
His fist clenched around his cock, furiously stroking away. God he missed her.
Her face was covered in the white ropes, her mouth taking in as much as it could as Roman pumped himself in her face. Jason fucking hated it. But god did she look fucking hot. He hated it. He hated him. He hated her. But that didn't stop him from unloading on his computer screen. His brow furrowed as pure rage coursed through his blood. He was getting her back. And she would see who she fuckin' really belonged too.
______________
Y/n knew it wouldn't be long. She played with herself, her fingers dancing across her wet slit showing just how wet she was. Her moans gentle as she spread her legs wider for the camera. "C'mon closer, get nice and in there." Her voice coaxed, of course Roman shouting orders for the camera man not to move. Her pout aimed towards the angered man. "Well if you won't let him touch me will you at least? You know I can't do it myself, you ruined me Roman~" She cooed.
The man in question groaned out and walked over, his cock next to her face as he claimed to a kneeling position on the bed. "Well, warm me up first, doll."
"Yes sir~" Her free hand came up to stroke the semi next to her. Her smile was anything but sweet and innocent like she feigned. Her tongue poking out to taste the precum that had been building up from the show. "But it looks like you're already good to go." The wink that came after did something different to Roman. God. When had he become so fuckin' turned on by watching her? When did he get so hard by her just existing? When did he want to see her asking- begging for him and it not being about fuckin' with the hood?
He wasn't sure. But he didn't hate the feeling. Especially when he buried his cock deep inside her. Her legs were spread and the angle was perfect, her back to him and front to the camera. Was this guy a director or what? Surely this would make the hood pissed off. Even if not- damn was she a good fucktoy.
_________
It wasn't the middle of the night. No. It was broad daylight when he broke in. It had taken him way too long for his liking. He had gotten a dozen more videos before he had finally found Black masks place. It's not like he could have asked for backup, they wouldn't understand. Not like they cared for her anyway. No, he had to do it on his own. And damn was that a good idea.
'Cause there he was. Bullets flying everywhere. It didn't matter who, how many. Each one had a special bullet for them in his head. Each one of these fuckers responsible for her kidnapping. Her torture. Torture. That's what it was. She didn't like it. She hated- she hated it. Yeah. She hated it. Was ridiculous how many times he had to remind himself of that. Yeah the videos were convincing. But he knew her better than those videos. He knew she wouldn't actually be begging for scum like that.
"You ruined me, Roman~"
Kept replaying in his head. That same line.
"I'll fucking show you ruined."
_______________
There they were. Two guns. One trained on a man in a designer italian suit. The other trained to an all to calm on the inside girl. "Now now. You wouldn't want to waste your time just by having me kill her would you?" Roman threatened, the gun he held pushing further into the girls head, the same gun Jason had seen her sucking on in multiple videos.
The Y/n's head was throbbing. Not just from the gun in her head but because she was- so excited.
She really played the long game, huh?
Jason clenched the gun tighter. His mask was doing a great job of keeping it together, because he certainly wasn't. "How 'bout you just make this easier for both of us and. Let. Her. Go. Like you said- I don't want to waste my time." Whether you were on the receiving end or not- it sent chills down their spines and a certain tingle down below for the h/c haired girl.
Roman clenched his jaw tight. His arm that's as wrapped around her tighter as he backed up. And backed up. And backed up. "Now now Sionis. I've never taken you for someone who'd rather kill themselves then hand someone over. Must have really gotten desperate." His last words a growl as his eyes flicked to the girl in his arms.
Roman looked down, his arms more....slack as they fell more into a hug from behind. His eyes softened. "You have no idea..." The girl met his eyes with the same fondness.
Red. No not Jason's helmet. The color he saw. Pure rage rippled through him as he pulled the trigger. Not once. Not twice. Over and over and over again, unloading a clip that not only undoubtedly killed Roman ten times over, but regrettably, knocking both out of the large window that laid behind them. As fast as the rage was there it disappeared, leaving only panic as Jason launched out of the window without a thought other than, "God- no!"
Was it?
Worth it? That's what she was thinking. Y/n. As the smirk crept to her face, placing one last kiss on her now corpse kidnapper and lover, she pushed him further, a subtle pay back for his words and treatment to her for the last months she had spent with him. Her arms wide open as he hit the ground first. Her eyes slowly closing, the wind whipping by.
"Worth it."
___________
She was an odd one. The Batfamily deemed her actually crazy. Jason never listened. Why would he? She had such a good heart. She supported him in his vigilante ways. She had even said she might join him. She understood what it took to get what you want. Maybe that's why he wasn't so pissed at her. Because he finally understood as he watched her naked sleeping form on their bed. Right where it belonged. She wanted all of this. He should have seen it. The very first smile that almost hid the darkness within. Twisted, yet so sweet. Like cyanide in candy. He knew from the beginning she wasn't a normal girl.
But then again, he wasn't a normal guy.
But there was still punishment to be dealt.
Y/n awoke with a harsh yank to her ankle, her ass suddenly on the edge of the bed. Forcibly sat up, her eyes level with the stomach of the man she had been missing. Her eyes met the storm that raged through Jason's eyes and he grabbed her chin to look at him. Even out of her peripheral vision she could see he was fully nude, her bottom lip finding a place in between her teeth as a smile took over. "Hey Jay." She cooed.
He was ashamed at how eager his cock was the moment his name left her mouth. His eyes glared daggers at her as his grip tightened. "Don't act like that." She opened her mouth, spewing bullshit like always. But he wouldn't let her. Not this time. "Like you're this innocent sweet heart. No. You're not that are you? You haven't been for a long time, if ever."
She let out a mock offended gasp. "Jay....he did bad things, that has to count for something. He made me do so many bad things to him." She pouted, her puppy dog eyes that would normally get him having no effect- at least not the kind she was hoping for.
His palm slipped from her chin to her neck, lifting her slightly with the force as he bent at the waist. "Baby, I got all the videos. The only forcing I saw was him trying to fit his cock into your tight pussy. But you still begged him for it. Because you wanted it."
He was shocked to see her eyes hood at the memory, her lust filled look deepening. His stomach turning from it. "It did feel pretty good to be stretched out again. It had been so long." Fire burned through him as he practically threw her on the ground to her knees. He didn't let her settle before he had her by the hair, forcing her mouth to open as he shoved his fully ready to go dick down her throat. The action making her gag and fling her hands to his thighs. He caught her hands and held them with one hand while the other dragged her head back and further on his length.
"How fucking dare you?" He spat with venom. "Do you know how fucking worried I was? Huh? Just to find out you're just being a whore----- to that fucking low life!?" Y/n couldn't answer, her throat being abused by his unpleasantly harsh thrust that was gonna make it hard to talk later. Her breathing was already none existent.
"So many fucking weeks." He groaned out, his eyes finally looking down. Her eyes already meeting his stormy blue ones, tears spilling down her cheeks. Her mouth stretched painfully full. But she never made a move to leave. No. She was taking this punishment like a champ. "So many months of me searching for you. Then I see uggh--" Her tongue ran along the under part of his shaft, clearly he wasn't deep enough. So he pushed further. Her breathing became hard with each thrust. "Then he sends those fucking videos. You begged for his cum princess. You fuckin' cried for it. You wanted it all. Inside you. On you. You wanted to taste it mixed with yours. Well don't worry doll." Her lips moved, unable to smile properly around him, her heart swelling. She missed him.
His grip tightened as he leaned down slightly, his cock going impossibly further down, her lips touching the base, breathing no longer an option as he smirked down. "You'll finally get daddy's cum, the cum you really needed. And maybe if you're good, I'll let you cum too, so you can suck it off me again." And with that, he stood up straight, let her catch some of her breath, then fucked her mouth until he felt that much needed relief spill down her throat. Coating the back in white liquid with a loud throaty groan.
He released her head which she immediately swung back, hand to her chest as she greedily gulped down air. But not for a moment longer than needed. She was back in front of him stroking him, her eyes leaking tears as her legs became soaked with the flood that was her arousal. "Thank you sir." She smiled.
Why was he so pissed off at her smile? Because. It was the same smile- the same mouth Roman had used. He needed to make her his all over again. She was his. He picked her up by her arm and tossed her to the bed. "You're not done yet." He gruffed out as he pushed her chest to the bed and pulled her ass up. "How many times?" He asked running his two fingers along her slit collecting all the juices that poured out.
She poked her head around. "I'm....not sure?"
He scoffed. "You let him cum so much in you, you don't even remember?" Her head nodded slowly. He whistled lowly. "Well. I cause that just means we have a long night don't we?"
The excitement- genuine excitement that she radiated was almost enough to make him no longer pissed off. Almost. "But remember." He leaned forward, his hands going to her hips as he massaged them. Placing gentle kisses down her spine and along her shoulder. The more than welcomed touch considering the past few months spent with pure hate fucking and all around rough sex. "You still get punishment for being such a cock whore." Too soon.
His soft touches left almost immediately followed by harsh smacks to the ass. Before she knew it her ass was almost the same red as his helmet, only occasionally palming it to slightly sooth the pain. But this wasn't a pleasant punishment ment to make you more turned on. No. It was harsh and real. She knew she did wrong. She knew she needed to be punished. But boy did it fucking hurt. By the time he was done, she was a sobbing mess. Her ass would be sore for sure. But it was all worth it as the tip of his cock pushed past her puffy folds into her tight heat. A long vulgar moan was realized from both parties as he sat for a moment, relishing in the feeling he missed so much.
His hands gripped her tightly as he pumped every last inch of himself he could. The movement so painfully slow but so necessary. They needed each other. She didn't realize how hard it was being without him. But she was so fuckin' happy when he came to her. She held out and here they were. One again. She loved him, and he loved her. It was fucked up. But- they did.
His veins dragged deliciously inside her tight walls, the tip of his dick hitting that one spot just right. "I- ohhh- missed you Jay-" She moaned out softly.
Jason's pace was slow and gentle, just enjoying the feeling of being inside her. Fuck did he miss her too. "You better have." But it wasn't anymore. The speed picked up along with the force and before she knew it, she was a sobbing blubbering mess. Her only thought- Jason's cock ruining her. "Now. I'm going to ask a question." He reached down and wrapped a hand around her throat, bringing her back up to his chest. The angle made her cry out. "And you better answer the right way." His speed picked up as he guided her back into his thrusts. Each word emphasized with a harsh thrust. "Who do you belong to?"
It was a simple question. One they both knew. One she should have never made him question. One that from day one, they both knew the answer. There was never an option. There would never be an option.
"You." She breathed out, her stomach making a familiar feeling. Her walls clenching and unclenching with every harsh thrust of Jason's ruthless hips.
His grip tightened before flipping her over to her back, her legs immediately being upped to his shoulders, the new position making her scream out in pure pleasure. "Not good enough, doll." He growled, his lips latching onto her neck and shoulder. Marking the answer down...
She gripped the bedsheets as her back arched into him. "I'm yours Jason! Only yours I fuckin' swear it!" And with that, Jason smiled. His hand reached between to rub her clit and a matching pace.
"Good girl. You're mine." He leans down to her ear, pecking behind it. "and I'm yours." One final kiss to her lips and she melted. Her walls squeezed and her eyes rolled back. Her orgasm washed over her like no other as her legs threatened to capture and never let go of Jason. His high soon followed and he let himself go freely in her. Every last drop would stay there. Because she was his. And he was hers.
________
"We're not done yet princess."
#tw dubcon#tw kidnapping#tw yandere#jason todd smut#yandere jason todd#x reader#yandere Roman Sionis#jason todd x reader#crazy reader#tw suicide#tw violence#voyerurism#cuckholding#tw noncon#yandere reader
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July.
AU where Cate isn’t married.
summary; you’ve been in australia on vacation and made a new friend, maybe more than just a friend. When your time comes to an end you reminisce the last weeks and doubt your feelings.
—❥ author’s note; I will get back to my requests but this came to my mind and I wanted to write it down quickly before I forget it:)
tag list; @paulawand ✨
Her laugh reminded you of better times, it all just felt so easy with her by your side but it seemed as if it all was slipping away from you and you had no control over it.
„What are you thinking about?” her raspy voice tore you out of your mental prison. You were at a loss for words, you told yourself to be careful, not to get attached to anyone anymore because everything ends, sooner or later. „Nothing,” you smiled at Cate’s face knowing that whatever lies you’d tell her she wouldn’t believe it anyway. The last five weeks passed quicker than a second, you thought. No, you didn’t search for a relationship or anything close to it. When you had spent your first week in Australia, as clumsy as you are, you bumped into a woman on your way to a train station. It was her, the woman with the gorgeous ice-blue eyes, with the golden blonde hair softer than velvet, Cate. It was a coincidence but felt like true fate.
You promised yourself that you wouldn’t get attached, never again. Honestly, it felt beautiful, you were longing for such a connection all your life, but you couldn’t stop thinking about the time after. Cate never seemed to have doubts, you two never talked about the thing you had, you only enjoyed the time together. But since it was soon time to say goodbye, it worried you. It was hard to tell what you two were, friends, friends with benefits, lovers? You had no control over the situation which you usually had, this messed you up internally. What will you do when you leave? Kiss her goodbye, hug her, not even saying anything?
„You’re thinking, what is it?” her sudden question startled you anew. „I’m just thinking about, tomorrow,” your voice was thin as paper. Tomorrow, just a normal day. The last day before you’re heading back to the Uk. Cate nodded and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. You loved the soft touch of her hands, and the very often occurring moments when she pecks your lips. „Do you remember the day we met?” you asked moving your head up from her legs. It became a rather nice habit of watching the sunset in the evenings. „Yes, I had a cupcake and it landed on my shirt,” she chuckled a bit lost in her head. You ruined her blouse when you bumped into her, but she didn’t seem to mind when the woman saw who caused the mess on her beloved flowery shirt. It seemed as if Cate was the only person that knew exactly what was going on in your mind, both of you shared deep conversations over the last weeks. So deep, that she told you her biggest fears and you told her.
Loneliness. Being alone was one of your worst fears. Years and years of loneliness were finally over when you decided to simply leave. The time with Cate made you realise that the loneliness of the last couple of years was the scariest thing in your life. The summer haze and summer wine reminded you of better times. Better times, you wanted them. But you weren’t sure if you could have them back home. You didn’t even know if the Uk was your home. Those thoughts were a cruel burden that seemed to never go away.
„I wish we could stay like this forever,” the blonde sighed and untangled her wavy hair. At this moment you thought, maybe it was mutual. „Me too.” You caught a last glance of the sun before it set peacefully behind the ocean. „I like it here,” it was a quick statement that you regretted have made. „It’s mesmerising,” Cate’s voice sounded dreamy. It was the end of July, winter in this country, when you arrive back home you’ll have a solid month before it turns autumn. „I’ll miss you, you know?” It took you by surprise. „Will you?” you asked out of curiosity. She nodded.
You had taken the midnight bus a couple of times, without a destination you wanted to go. Just someplace. Cate joined you from time to time, you danced together in the moonlight, listened to music.
„What are we?” it came like a whisper over your lips, so scared were you to say the wrong thing. She laughed, almost mockingly. You regretted asking, you knew it was stupid. What should you two be? What did you expect? You’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks. „I thought you’d never ask,” Cate replied relieved. Was she waiting for you to question the bond between you both? „I like what we have, I don’t know what will happen in the future but I don’t want to lose this,” she explained and looked at you, waiting for a reaction. What the woman just said made your heart flutter a little. „Me neither,” you whispered, anxiously biting your nails. „Maybe we could try to keep this steady,” she paused before adding another sentence, „and maybe it can become something beautiful.” You had liked that very much, you wanted it to become something you could depend on in your life. Maybe a beautiful relationship? —♡︎
Two days later your flight back home was scheduled. You didn’t fear the departure from your chosen home because she told you not to worry, she’d told you no matter what she’ll be there for you despite the thousand of miles between. It made you feel at ease to know that you don’t have to be lonely if you don’t want to. During the flight you slept most of the time, there were only a few moments in which you were awake enough to order food or water. Deep down you were looking forward to seeing your friends again. They were never the reason why you felt lonely, it was all the other little things that made you feel so little, so unintelligible.
Arriving at the airport, your friends were already waiting at the gate for you two to walk out. Seeing their smiley faces released an inner warmth in you, it was contagious so your lips curved into a smile as well. They took you to a restaurant for lunch afterwards the five of you went to Hyde Park and you told them every explicit detail about your vacation. You told them about Cate and how you two were working it out. You hoped it so bad. The last weeks were the happiest you had ever been and you liked the happy version of yourself. They seemed to like that version of you too.
Every day you talked to her on the phone, even though it was in the middle of the night. She was worth it. Hearing her voice was like an escape from the boring and demanding everyday life of yours, so soft and light it sounded from the speaker. Weeks passed and the conversations got shorter but you didn’t want it to be true. No. You held onto it for your dear life. Almost as if your happiness depended on her. „I have to go, work starts.” It was that exact sentence you had heard over and over again, it could’ve been true if she hadn’t had called on different times. You looked it up on the internet what times it was in Australia. Maybe she didn’t see the two of you together in the future.
„Cate?” you almost didn’t dare to ask. „Huh?” it sounded as if she didn’t care about what was coming next. „What’s going on with you? You seem pretty distant and I really don’t know what to do about it,” your voice was shaky, fragile. If she wanted to break your heart, she better do it now, you thought. „Y/n, look,” it took her a few seconds to carry on, „I don’t think we make sense, we’re so far apart… And I don’t think I can do this anymore, I love you very much but…” You never declared it as anything official, you said your I love you’s a lot but this one hurt a lot. You knew that this day might come, but you didn’t expect it to be so very soon. „Maybe you’re right, maybe it’s best if we just stop right here,” you tried not to sound as if you were crying because you were. We’re you even allowed to cry after such a short time?
Your life went on, you were alone again. Not that you didn’t know how it feels, it just felt better to have someone you can share your troubles with. You missed the taste of cherries on your lips when you kissed someone, Cate tasted like cherries. Everyone else just tasted like cold cement.
#cate blanchett#cate blanchett x reader#australia#gay#summer romance#thor ragnarok#middle aged actresses#loveislove#angsty#fluff#x reader imagines#fanfiction#sapphic#fanfic#wlw love#wlw#carol 2015#carol aird
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Can you do the Eyes on You song fic with tito?
This song is so sweet, and so Beau! I loved writing this and I hope you love it too!
-💕
We've been to both Carolinas
Seen a big Montana sky
Driven up and down the coast a few times
London, Paris, paradise
But ain't got much memory of the scenes
Come to think, I miss them all
And damn, babe, it's all your fault
No matter where we go
No matter what we do
If you're there, girl, I've got my eyes on you
Don't matter where we've been
No, there ain't no better view
Than you in my arms with my eyes on you
With my eyes on you
“Welcome back buddy! How was vacation?” Mat asked bumping a Beau on the shoulder.
They had gotten back yesterday, and had made plans to see their friends before camp started. He had missed his teammates, but had spent a wonderful sandy week with his beautiful girl, and he was still thinking about it.
“It was great. Nice and relaxing.”
“Do anything fun? Where were you guys anyways.”
He opened his mouth to speak and closed it again when he realized he couldn’t answer the questions. He hadn’t spent any of vacation sight seeing, but instead he had spent it staring at her. He was pretty sure that she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and he couldn’t believe she was his girlfriend. As he started thinking about it he realized he really had nothing to show for any of their trips together. He remembered next to nothing.
“Uh. At the beach?”
Mat stared at him blankly “Did you stay in the room the whole time or…?”
“No I just. I guess I wasn’t really looking at the scenery is all.” He let his eyes drift over to her. Mat giggled. Beau had been enamored with her since they met. A chance encounter all because of a coffee order mix up. When he turned to hand her the one with her name on it, he had been captured by the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen. He had fumbled over his words and made her laugh, small talk forming over sugar and a short walk in the same direction. Feeling like he may never see her again he asked for her number, which she gave to him, and he had been gone for her ever since.
Most of time Mat found himself talking to thin air. No matter what was going on, where they were or who was talking to him, Beau only had eyes for her. He had never seen him this way. He looked at her like she had personally hung the moon and stars in the sky.
“Your hopeless bro.” He said shaking his head. Beau nodded eyes still on her.
“Yeah. I know.”
Speakin' of the coast, remember Pfeiffer Beach?
You and me, that sunset, cliffs by the sea
And the night rolled in
And you still talk about that moon that I can't recall
But God I saw
All I needed to
Might as well have stayed in the room
No matter where we go
No matter what we do
If you're there, girl, I've got my eyes on you
Don't matter where we've been
No, there ain't no better view
Than you in my arms with my eyes on you
“This is my favorite picture.” She said pulling several out of envelopes. She had photos and frames spread around her on the floor of the living room. He was sitting on the sofa, remote in his hand watching her as she sifted through photos and arranged them how she wanted.
“Where was that taken?”
She turned and frowned “Pfeiffer Beach? You don’t remember?”
He shook his head and took the photo and stared at it. It rang zero bells. He remembered the trip but as he looked through more photos he couldn’t remember a single detail about the trip.
“Don’t you remember that beautiful full moon we saw on the last night. We could see it from the bed in our hotel room?”
“Oh I remember the bed. But not the moon.” She swatted his leg with a stack of photos, but smiled.
“We may as well have just stayed in the room the whole time.”
“We can arrange that for the next vacation.” He said smiling cheekily at her.
“We could arrange it for the next few hours too.”
The photos were forgotten.
And don't you remember Times Square?
And people countin' down everywhere
Two thousand whatever, no, I didn't care
'Cause, baby, you were there
And once again
Couldn't help but stare
No matter where we go
No matter what we do
If you're there, girl, I've got my eyes on you
Don't matter where we've been
No, there ain't no better view
Than you in my arms with my eyes on you
Times Square was freezing. They had arrived hours ago and done some shopping with Mat and some teammates and we’re now huddled among a lot of drunk people ready to bring in the new year. It was loud, shouts and laughter and music seemed to be everywhere, but he could barely hear it. He was watching as she shook out her hair and pulled her hat back down over her hair. Her nose and cheeks were red and cold, but she was smiling as she watched Mat take another photo with a teenage girl who ran back to her friends giggling.
She turned to him smile widening and despite the freezing temperatures he felt like he was burning up under his jacket.
“Are you having a good time?” She asked wrapping her arms around his midsection. He kissed the top of her head.
“Always when I’m with you.”
“When is this thing gonna happen I’m freezing .” Mat complained jogging in place. He had been jabbering away about the cold but Beau wasn’t listening.
“Stop complaining.” She teased, giving him a smile “Look the countdown!” She grabbed his hand through her mitten covered one and gave it a squeeze. Her smile was wide, bright lights reflecting off those eyes he loved to stare into. She had started counting when it got to ten but Beau still hadn’t moved his gaze away from her. As she turned to him he could hear vaguely in the background 5,4,3-
He grabbed her and kissed her, unable to contain himself till the clock got down to 1. Her lips were cold but fit perfectly against his. The roar of the crowd, the music and their friends faded away as they kissed, a wave of confetti raining down on them.
“You guys are supposed to wait till you get to 1 Jesus!” Mat said somewhere in the background,
Halfway around the world
Or the local corner booth
Yeah, you guessed it, girl
You know I got my eyes on you
We could be on any street
Any party, any room
I'll be there all night with my eyes on you
Don't matter where we've been
No, there ain't no better view
Than you in my arms with my eyes on you
“Where should we go on vacation this year?” She asked as they packed up their apartment. The islanders had been eliminated from the playoffs, and while it stung Beau was ready for the offseason. They had been packing for a few days, but he wasn’t getting g anything done when she was running around in those leggings.
“Wherever you want.”
She rolled her eyes “Don’t you want a say in where we spend the summer? What sights you’d like to see?”
“The only sight I need to see is you. The rest of them can’t really compare.”
She flushed and rolled her eyes again, stifling a giggle.
“So your going to spend all our trips looking at me?”
“Im thinking about spending the rest of my life doing it. It doesn’t matter where we go, as long as your there I’ll be looking at you anyways.”
She turned and smiled “Your an idiot Anthony Beauvillier.”
“And you are beautiful Y/N Y/L/N”’
#anthony beauvillier#nhl x reader#nhl blurb#nhl writing#hockey blurbs#hockeyblr#hockey fanfiction#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic
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When you Proposed First...
Summary: You and your boyfriend have been together for a really long time. You couldn’t handle just being “Boyfriend and Girlfriend” anymore. So, you took matters into your own hands...And Proposed first!
Warning(s): Fluff, spoilers for Sanji’s past
A/N: Had a thought of how Sanji would react to me proposing to him and giggled lol.
Luffy isn’t one for getting the Hint for specific moods in the air. He’s pretty dense when it comes to stuff like that. So, despite being alone together on this very romantic outing on the Island your crew had been staying at for a small vacation after a recent battle. He missed a lot of subtle details you kept bringing up.
“---Luffy! Earth to Luffy! Hello!?” You shouted while hitting his head a few times, wondering why he was spacing out. You panicked a bit because you thought he was angry with you for your question.....You asked him to marry you.
Luffy never expected to find a girlfriend(or boyfriend) while traveling at Sea. Not that he’d ever planned on getting with somebody any time soon. His life was WAY too dangerous for anything romantic anyways. But even so...Meeting you, befriending you, and then falling for you...It all just.../Happened/. it wasn’t planned or expected, he never met somebody as strong as you were, even without devil fruit powers. You just kept surprising him with every day that you woke up.
You stood there while awkwardly holding the box with something /other/ than a ring in it. It was actually a small charm-like Pin that he could pin to his hat or shirt instead. You knew that he wouldn’t wear the ring because it’d easily break with his stretching abilities, he wouldn’t want to break such a valuable gift from his beloved s/o that he loved so much. “Is...Everything alright Luffy? Did I do something wrong?” You asked while tilting your head. Asking that question made him snap back to reality again.
Before you could respond though, he had pounced you. Clinging to you for dear life with this big dopey grin going from ear to ear. His face was blushing a pink hue as well. Pausing to grab your face and give you a big smooch, he chuckled, “Do you have any idea how amazing you are y/n!?” He asked, making you blink, but then blush as well. “I don’t know how you managed to read my mind but, I wanted to marry you too!” (He didn’t fully know what he was talking about here). Your blush got redder, he paused and blinked, “Y/n....Your face is red....” he commented, making you flinch then glare up at him
“S-Shut up...I just didn’t expect you to know what was going on is all!” You lied...He chuckled as he started giving your face kisses as he still clung to you tightly. You watched him put the pin right in the front of his precious hat. The sun was hitting him perfectly, so you watched a gentle ray glow on the pin.
You kept staring until he pulled out a small box himself that he’d been hiding for the past three weeks, nervous to give it to you as he’d never done something so big before...You held the box in your hand. and he’d gotten you the typical ring as well but, it wasn’t gold or silver. It was oddly enough...Purple? Purple was your favorite color after all, so seeing that he got you a purple colored wedding ring of all things, you knew he was the one for you.
Zoro was actually pretty quick when he realized he wanted you as his Wife. Each day passed when you two were dating for more than a few years now, would be met with “Please be my wife” as a small joke despite being pretty serious about it.
Today was no exception. At first he woke up pretty angry because one of his swords had gone missing...His childhood sword wasn’t with him this morning. About to scold you for taking it, he noticed that you were with Franky and Usopp helping fix it after a recent battle, since you couldn’t go on the island due to being sick, you thought these two could help fix it.
“---Hopefully this does the trick. The metal on the handle has been worn out for a while...It may need to be completely replaced when we reach the next Island in a few days.” Franky comments, while pointing to the dents in the golden handle. You picked it up to get a closer look at it. “It doesn’t just look like the metal part is busted either....It’s the cloth too. Which is something that I can easily fix myself.” You comment out loud, unaware that Zoro was listening in on the conversation.
Eventually leaving to go grab some food and booze, now that he didn’t have to worry on who stole his sword, Zoro sighed as he sat down in his secret drinking spot (that he shares with you of course). “Damn...I want her to be my Wife” he mutters to himself before taking a sip of the drink he was holding.
Later that same day, you had brought back the sword that you had “borrowed to try and get it fixed” for Zoro. before heading back from putting it back, you felt an arm grab your leg. And before you knew it, you were sitting right on his lap again as he hugged you tightly. You giggled as he pressed his face against your neck, his grip getting tighter, “You trying to hug me, or strangle me?” You teased before planting a kiss on his hair. “I want you to be my Wife” He asked again, which just made you chuckle because he’s been doing this for the last week now.
A brief silence filled the room, you squirmed a bit while you tried reaching in your pockets to grab something. A small box. You held it out awkwardly while blushing a deep crimson red from ear to ear. “....W-Why not...You become my husband?” You asked. That caught his attention real quick. He blinked as he started at the small box in front of his face, he reached out to open it and see two rings in it (one for each of you of course)
A big sheepish grin started to form as he ignored the pink hue on his own cheeks. “...I love you y/n...” He simply says while putting the ring on his finger, and then puts your ring on your finger. You giggled before reaching up again to give him a proper smooch that started turning to a passionate kiss. “I’m happy that your finally my wife now~” He jokes as he nuzzles into again and the two of you just cuddled together before dinner time.
You knew about the Political marriage between him and Pudding from Big Mom’s family. You figured out that something had happened when you saw that Pudding and Sanji had “broken up” when you two had started getting more serious in the relationship. You were Pissed Off knowing that he might have been cheating on his Fiance with you, but the crew later explained the full context of what happened (Usopp had to tell you the details that Pudding erased from Sanji’s memory so it didn’t traumatize him again).
After a rocky start to your steady relationship. Sanji has been nothing but honest with you for anything that you may have wanted to know about. He even offered to tell you his childhood at some point but you declined, saying “Sanji-kun...Tell me when you feel emotionally ready ok? Don’t force yourself if your not ready.” And after he heard that, he /knew/ the girl he had to be with was with you. No ands ifs or buts about it. You were the one he was going to Marry for Real one day.
Today was a special day for the two of you, and thankfully, you were on an Island to be able to celebrate it. This was your third year Anniversary together after the time skip of being apart. Sanji had surprised you with a /very/ romantic date to the local festival that was happening nearby since he knew that fancy restaurants weren’t your thing as you were too used to /his cooking/. You two had spent the majority of the festival with the crew, but after a while, you two had gone off to have your own little private date on your own. Sneaking off to the nearby forest for some privacy.
You knew that he was a Romantic Sap when it came to dates. You were the type to just stay home and chill there but, this was a special day so, you thought that you’d amuse him this time. By the time you two had managed to sit down and start eating the delicious meal he had prepared for the two of you (which included some of your favorites). Sanji was telling a big story that happened when you weren’t part of his life, doing silly poses whenever he’d quote his other crewmates, making you have a hearty giggle fit throughout his story.
Before he turned around, you got on one knee and held the Ring box in your hands and stayed quiet. You grinned when he turned around to see you but, completely /froze/ at the sight of you on one knee with the Ring box in your hands. A pink hue started to form as you started to get flustered, “Sanji-kun.....” You started, which made him gulp, anxious of what’s gonna happen despite knowing what it may be. ��...Even though we’ve only been together for a few years without the Time skip included...” You paused again so you could pull out the ring, which was a nice silver ring with a very small diamond in the middle. he recognized this ring as you used to wear it on your chain. “Y-Y/n...You can’t...” he starts off, making you nervous, “That ring is yours...” he finishes while avoiding eye contact due to being nervous himself
You giggled, “Sanji-kun....I love you....I want you to have this. I’m willing to gift you something precious...Because your more precious than a silly ring.”
That did him in. That tiny speech of you claiming he’s more precious than one of your rings was what got him to cry. He cursed, flustered with himself, “D-Dammit....I-I should be proposing t-to you...Not the other way a-around” He complains with a dopey grin that showed his true feelings towards this. “...Will you Marry Me?” You finally asked, holding out a hand so that way you can put the ring on his finger if he said yes.
He didn’t technically say /yes/. But he did nod his head as the awkward crying turned into sobs. After putting the ring on his finger, he fell down to tightly hug you. He’d never been given something so precious in his life without it being taken away from him right after. You knew this though, and just allowed him to cry as you pat his head gently and giggled every now and again
“I love you y/n-san! I love you so fucking much!” He’d repeat, making /you/ get flustered with his chanting declaration of love to you. You hugged him tighter, “I know. I love you too Sanji...After all that you’ve been through...I knew that you were perfect for me, as both a boyfriend, and a Husband.”
Hearing those words just made him sob even longer. He’s never had somebody love him /like this/ in a very long time. And he can’t wait to continue to be loved by y/n for the rest of his life.
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Hi hi!! I LOVED your fic about Ranpo and Fukuzawa, it was wonderful❤️ And I adored your writing style as well, I really hope you’ll continue writing~
I’d love to see a Kunikida x Fem!Reader where the reader is dating Kunikida for a few years and one day, a client comes and starts flirting heavily with the reader and Kunikida decides to make him understand that she has a boyfriend. (I’m so sorry I just love these healthy jealousy dynamics hehe)
sooo i’m ngl, i love kunikida :) i haven’t finished season 3, i’m waiting for my semester to end before i do. i did take some artistic liberties with this so i hope you like it :)
tw: dazai osamu and men (and slight cursing).
---
It was annoying how sunny the day was. Kunikida’s eyes squinted as he added no sunglasses to his ongoing list of why the day was not ideal. First, he woke up late. His eyes had opened to his very loving girlfriend promising to see him at lunch and giving him a kiss on the head before heading to her job. Then, his coffee was cold, making him reheat it in the microwave that then caused the coffee to get everywhere inside. There was no time to clean it up, meaning he would have to figure out how to get the stains out before his girlfriend came home to the mess. It was not like she wouldn’t mind helping him, but Kunikida was in one of his stages where he had to be perfect for her.
Kunikida had showed up to work five minutes late due to some idiot (see: Dazai) holding up traffic to dramatically propose to some random girl in the middle of the street so they could commit suicide together. The crowd had loved it, but the girl had not. Then, Kunikida was slammed with a lot of paperwork all the way until thirty minutes before his lunch. Of course most of the paperwork was just Kunikida fixing other people’s paper work. That one hour of seeing Y/N had the potential to flip his entire day. The bespectacled man looked forward to awkwardly holding Y/N’s hand while they ate the bento boxes she made the night before on a random bench at a park. And yes it was awkward, he never could get the right pressure down, making him either barely hold her hand or squeezing it. It had been years since he started holding her hand, but he never got it down.
That finally leads to one of the worst surprises. Dazai had forgotten to tell Kunikida about an appointment with a client that was fifteen minute before lunch. While this wouldn’t be a big deal, the client needed to meet at the park for lunch and Kunikida did not know how long the meeting would be. Since moving in together in their second year, Y/N and Kunikida had agreed to keep their work lives separate from their home life. That meant that Kunikida could not bring a client to their lunch date. While Y/N was the epitome of kindness and being homey, once she set a boundary she had set it. This was part of why Kunikida loved her so much. However, he was now checking his phone every couple minutes to see if she had responded to his text about lunch.
‘Meeting came up, might be late.’
Vague? Yes. But Kunikida knew she would understand. Hopefully, Y/N would take her time and arrive later than planned. She had a habit of literally stopping to smell the flowers in the park.
The client had been speaking for a long duration, talking about how some thugs were ruining the park's atmosphere and how his grandchildren frequented this place all the time. He was small and had comically large glasses. His hands were folded over one another on top of his cane as he rested on a park bench across the park from Kunikida’s spot with Y/N. Kunikida did not see why the agency was taking this case on. He had gotten a message from Fukuzawa that it was important, but no details as to why. This was a police matter, not something the agency needed to add to its plate. Especially when more pressing jobs needed their attention. The old man spoke slowly, not paying much mind to anything else.
Kunikida’s phone dinged and he couldn’t help looking at it right away.
‘Is this your way of telling me you need to cancel?’
Y/N was just giving him a hard time. She took joy in messing with him, knowing that Kunikida was up tight and would probably freak out. He could vividly see her lips stretch into a teasing smile. All he was missing was the soft kiss on the cheek Y/N always gave him to make up for being mean. She would always pull him down by his tie, gripping it tightly. Dazai had gripped his tie the same way once, and ended up with an earful of colorful words and an official complaint against him. Kunikida let Y/N get away with so much, and he would continue to. He was so in love with his girlfriend of three years.
“Sir, is there an emergency?”
Kunikida snapped out of his daydreams of how Y/N cradled his face whenever they kissed. The client was staring up at him, an eyebrow slightly raised. At the other end of the bench, Dazai snapped his head towards them. He stopped singing the annoying song that had played on the radio that had gotten stuck in both his and Kunikida’s heads. A sly smirk took over his head and slid down the bench towards the client.
“Kunikida,” Dazai said with a wagging finger. “You’re blushing. Were you thinking of a certain little lady in a compromising position?”
Kunikida felt his face heat up. He definitely had not even thought of his girlfriend in that way where other people could perceive him. Especially not during work hours. Kunikida was very private about things like that and so was Y/N. Kunikida started to sputter about, completely appalled by Dazai bringing that up in front of a client. The client looked confused, not knowing what was going on. Dazai let out a loud laugh and began to tease Kunikida more.
* * *
Across the park, Y/N walked up to their spot. She was dressed in her uniform, tired of having to deal with picky clients of her own. Two bento boxes were balanced in her hands, both very similar in food, but different in preferences. Kunikida’s was healthier, with a small salad with various vegetables. Y/N’s had a small slice of the cake she had baked them that week and more fruit. She always woke up early to make them lunch. It was one of the few ways she took care of her loving boyfriend that he found to be quite endearing. Well, he found anything she did endearing, but there were some things that especially made his heart race.
Another example was that she wore the stupid little children’s bracelet he had won her from their first date every day. Due to his nervousness, Kunikida had been convinced by Atsushi and Kenji that he should bring her to the fair the agency was going to. Of course it was for a client, but it had slipped Kunikida’s mind when he first saw Y/N’s smile as he offered (awkwardly and properly of course) to hold her hand so they wouldn’t get lost. While at first it was very practical to not get lost in the crowd, Kunikida did not have to convince himself that the warmth of her hand was something he wanted more of. He was smitten from the beginning, and now he couldn’t imagine a life without her.
Their bench was unoccupied, like always. She sat down, crossing her ankles and casually looking around. It was a nice day, with clouds covering the sun and a soft breeze. A large tree provided extra shade, and if you looked closely, there was a small heart with both Kunikida and her initials carved into one of the large roots. It had happened one night where both had a little too much to drink, but the next morning Kunikida was freaking out over it. Y/N loved their spot.
As her eyes casually drifted over the park, a familiar trench coat caught her eyes. Dazai was draped over a bench, paying no mind to the old man sitting beside him. Standing with his back facing towards her, Kunikida had his weight shifted to one leg and his arms crossed. Y/N smiled at the sight of her boyfriend. His whole body was tense and she knew Dazai was probably giving Kunikida a hard time by the smirk on Dazai’s face. It had taken Y/N a while to get used to Dazai, but now she could smile with appreciation. The two balanced one another, and Y/N was completely aware that if it weren’t for Dazai’s softening of her boyfriend, they would have never gotten together.
Y/N was too much in her head to see the handsome man coming towards her. He had his eyes set on her silky hair and sparkling eyes. The man had been out for his daily run before he met his grandfather and just happened to see the pretty girl on the bench from across the way. Although it was not his usual running path, the man couldn’t help but switch it up. The closer he got, the more he realized how easily he could fall in love with her. As he slowed down, he noticed how she was lost in the scenery of the park.
“So, you come here often?”
Her head turned, unsure about what she was about to look at. Y/N was not impressed by the man in front of her. Though every man seemed to be paled in comparison to her boyfriend. The man in front of her was buff and looked like he was on a run. He was attractive, with high cheekbones and plump lips, but Y/N was not interested. One of her eyebrows quirked up.
“I suppose.” There was an uncertain edge to her voice, hoping he would get the hint.
Instead, the man hiked his foot up on the opposite corner of the bench, flexing in a very obvious way that he was trying to be subtle. “Yeah, I was just on my daily run. I work out a lot, mainly in nature, but don’t turn down any gym days when they come up. Those are rare though. I have a job that keeps me busy. You know, you don’t earn 200 million yen in a year by just sitting on your ass. I mean, sure I take nice vacations to my beach house every once in a while-”
His boasting could be heard from across the park. Which of course caught Dazai’s attention when he saw who the guy was talking to. It was as if God had set up a perfect day for Dazai to have. He hoped Kunikida would explode. The client was very boring and Dazai was pretty sure the supposed thugs happened to be the Port Mafia. He was just waiting for Kunikida to get through all the questions from his notebook so they could go on lunch already. But now? Now a show of entertainment was in sight as Dazai zeroed in on Y/N and how uncomfortable she looked. That would certainly set Kunikida off.
Dazai knew how whipped Kunikida was for Y/N. The tall man almost never liked to talk about things outside of work, unless it came to his girlfriend. Everyone in the office knew to steer clear of the topic of Y/N unless they wanted to be trapped in a conversation about how amazing her cooking was or how well her job was going. It was cute at first, but it had been a couple years and Kunikida was still in his honeymoon phase of worshipping her. But this? This would make him go wild.
Dazai let out a huge sigh as the client kept talking. He noticed how Y/N kept looking over, hoping someone would notice and get her out of whatever hell she was going through. So Dazai waved slightly, making Kunikida look over at him and frown. The client was still talking, going into some story that looked like it would drag on and on. And then, the situation got worse.
Just as Kunikida was looking to see whatever had Dazai’s attention instead of the case, the strange man began to twirl Y/N’s hair around his finger, getting horribly close. His face got too close to hers, noses about to brush. Y/N held her breath, praying that the moment would be over soon. And it was.
Nobody had expected Kunikida to be that fast, but soon he was up the hill to the bench and holding the man who was shorter than him by the collar. There was a rage in his eye that centered around the man’s wandering hands. Y/N stood up quickly, ready to pull Kunikida away from the man if he tried to be too violent. Of course she would pretend to be slow, but she still felt morally obligated to pull them away from one another. Dazai casually walked up the grassy hill, hands in his pocket and smirk on his face.
Kunikida was breathing heavy, mind racing on what he was going to do. He wasn’t naturally a violent person, but he did not like how the man was making Y/N uncomfortable. His sudden rush had caught the attention of those who were close by. There was a silence enveloping the group as they all waited to see what Kunikida would do.
“Unhand my grandson,” The old man yelled as he waddled up the hill at an extremely slow pace.
Dazai raised an eyebrow and looked behind him. For a split second, he was very aware of how easily he could push the old man back down the hill and turn back to the source of the growing tension in the park. But Dazai didn’t want to be the source of any drama in that moment so he just turned back around to see the conflict in Kunikida’s eyes.
“It’s okay, honey,” Y/N said as she slowly put a hand on Kunikida’s shoulder.
Kunikida let down the man, he dropped to his knees from the sudden let go. He faltered as he stood up, readjusting his clothes.
“What the hell is your-”
Before he could even finish his sentence, he was getting socked in the face. Everyone stood in shock as Y/N’s hit sent him straight to the ground. She stood over him with a frown on her face.
“Learn to respect women, asshole.”
And if it were possible, Kunikida fell in love with her more.
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Magic In The Air
Request: Could you maybe write a fic where a Og Winx fan somehow travels into Fate and then gives a whole ass beating to Bloom for being such a caring genius (note the sarcasm lol). You know, like how one of us would react if we were to magically find ourselves in the fate-verse. Anonymous
Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @grey-girl @intoanothermind @artsyle
A/N This isn’t my best work, but it was really fun to write.
Hearing your parents tell you that you’ll be going on vacation in Gardenia confuses you because you thought that was a place the writers invented for Winx Club but you also know just how poorly you did in the latest geography test at school so you decide not to overthink it. Plenty of shows have taken inspiration from actual cities when it comes to city names.
“We’re driving?” you ask wondering just how close by Gardenia is to you. Your parents nod telling you to pack your things. It’s a surprisingly short drive, which confuses you because how have you never known about this place? Seeing two people that look exactly like the actors playing Bloom’s parents just emphasises that something is going on here and you’re going to find out what.
“I’m go explore,” you tell your parents who’s surprisingly okay with you going out by yourself in a new town. You figure the easiest way to find out what’s going on is to try to find the shed that Bloom stayed in when Farah found her. Too many things are similar for this to be a coincidence.
“Oh my God,” you whisper realising that you just found the shed. Is this really happening? You open the door that’s supposed to take you to the Otherworld only to find yourself step into the forest that you know will take you to Alfea. You can hardly contain your excitement as you run towards the school. You’re actually here. This is every dream come true. The first person you recognise is Sky and you’re not sure how that boy got even prettier than when you watched the show but he’s ridiculously attractive. Right next to him is Riven and you suppress a squeal of joy.
“I have to find Silva.” You head straight for the training grounds spotting the famous soldier between the students. Lord have mercy. You’re a little worried your heart might actually beat out of your chest. You’ve arrived just in time to see him lecture Dane who’s looking mighty fine in his uniform.
“Are you lost?” You spin around to find Aisha standing behind you. It’s really not fair how many attractive people exist at Alfea. She smiles and you’re ready to swoon.
“I’m new here. First day and everything,” you say hoping that’ll explain your behaviour. She flashes you a smile again and your heart skips a beat.
“Fairy or specialist? If you’re a fairy, you can just follow me.”
“Fairy. Definitely,” you say following her inside. You have no idea what’s going on, how you got here or how you’re going to stay here when you’re not a fairy. All you know is that you’re not ready to be sent back to your own boring life just yet.
“Did you get assigned a room yet?” you ask Aisha hoping to drag the conversation away from you. She shows you her key and it gives you a very stupid idea.
“No way. Me too! Lead the way,” you say grinning. The other girls are already there and you keep quiet while they introduce themselves even though you want to scream that you already know them. You don’t need Terra to tell you that she’s an earth fairy because you already know. You’ve watched the show five times waiting for a season 2 so you really do know all the details. It’s the same reason, you keep your distance to Bloom. You’re not about to get dragged into her self absorbed-plan to figure out who she is.
“We should go downstairs. They’re having a sort of party for the first years,” Stella says and you eagerly follow. You want to tell her that her mother is an absolute bitch and that Stella deserves more but you imagine it would be a little weird coming from a complete stranger so you promise yourself that you’ll tell her when you get to know her a little better. Once you get there, all the girls separate leaving you to decide what you’re going to do next. You’re so focused on trying to listen in on people’s conversation and taking it all in that you don’t see him until it’s too late.
“I am so sorry!” you exclaim looking up to find Sky standing in front of you. Of course, you had to collide with the prettiest boy at the party.
“You should probably watch where you’re going.” He grins to let you know that he’s only joking but it does nothing to calm your nerves. How do you even talk to someone that pretty?
“I will keep that in mind,” you chuckle. He’s about to say something when you spot Bloom heading out the side exit. You’d forgotten the amount of times she gets herself in trouble.
“Hold that thought, gorgeous.” It comes out almost instinctively leaving you mortified. He looks at you a little funny but he’s definitely blushing. You follow Bloom outside to find her in the forest throwing fire around.
“Are you kidding me? It’s the first day and you’re trying to burn down the place?” You contain the urge to scream but she’s already pissing you right off.
“Y/N, just go!” She keeps adding to the fire and while you know that Aisha is going to be here any second, you see no reason why you can’t give her a little tough love in the meantime.
“Do you have any idea how stupid you’re being right now? You want to practice magic having no knowledge about it because what? You didn’t have control.” You’re mocking her and it’s adding fuel to the flame but you really can’t help yourself. She literally tried to kill her parents because her mom wanted her to get out more. Talk about being the “misunderstood teenager”.
“Go!” she yells sending a line of fire in your direction. Of course, Aisha comes to your rescue using her water magic to put out the flames. You really wish she would’ve hit Bloom with the water.
“Thank you,” you say watching Aisha’s eyes slowly return to their normal colour. You don’t stay too long to avoid Bloom questioning how you know so much about her. You need time to figure out an excuse that actually sounds plausible. That’s when Saul Silva stops you and you have to forcefully stop yourself from screaming. How does he manage to be so handsome? Being attracted to 40-something year old man is definitely not healthy but here you are.
“I don’t remember you from the admission papers,” he says clearly suspicious as to who you actually are.
“There must’ve been a mistake then. We are quite a few first years after all.” You try to play it off as a simple mistake but he’s not buying it and frankly, you probably wouldn’t either.
“Maybe you should come with me. We can talk to Farah about this.” You’re just about to answer him when you hear your mom call your name. You open your eyes to find yourself in your bed back in L.A.
“Hurry up, sweetheart. You’re going to be late for school.”
#winx sky#winx riven#winx saul silva#sky#riven#saul silva#fate the winx saga#fate the winx club#fate winx club#winx saga#winx club#fate winx#fate#riven blurb#sky blurb#saul silva blurb#bloom blurb#bloom#winx bloom#stella blurb#winx blurb#winx stella
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Dream Come True (K.TH)
Warnings : swearing, mentions of sex, escort service
Synopsis : dream come true is an escort service that can make all your fantasies come to life. all he needs is a date to his cousins wedding and she looks like the perfect choice. she agrees almost immediately, excited to crash her exes wedding on the arm of his cousin. neither one of them expected anything more than a little revenge, but a destination wedding is the perfect place to fall in love.
Word Count : 6372
Dream Come True : All Your Fantasies Brought To Life. It intrigued a broke college student like me. I was recently single and could use the extra cash, so I didn’t even think twice before signing up, filling out all my information, uploading a few pictures, and reading through the terms. The clients would read the bios of each girl and decide which one would best suit their needs and bring their fantasy to life.
As a worker, I could decide which clients I would take on, and made my own rules. It was hard at first, but as the years went on, it became easier to become the perfect girlfriend for my clients for one night. It was rare I was needed for more than one night, even more rare that I was needed for more than a couple days. So when I saw a request for a destination wedding for two weeks, I was intrigued.
I sat at the café in the Dream Come True headquarters, scrolling through my phone as I waited for my new potential client to arrive. “Y/N?” He asked, causing me to look up as I locked my phone and put it down. I gestured for him to take a seat. I was taken aback by the handsome man who sat down across from me. Usually my clients were older gentlemen with money to spend, but this guy looked my age and definitely wouldn’t have trouble finding a date. “I know this seems like an odd request.” I shook my head.
“A bit different, but not odd. You’d be surprised how many weddings I’ve been to.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I could tell he was nervous.
“How long have you been doing this?” He questioned. I reached out and grabbed my drink before taking a small sip and setting it back on the table.
“Probably almost 3 years now.” His eyes widened at the answer, but I didn’t let it bother me. “It’s easy money that’s paying my way through university, so I’m not complaining. Now, tell me more about this destination wedding.” He nodded, clearing his throat.
“It’s my cousin’s wedding and it’s kind of a big deal. I had RSVP’d a couple months ago with a plus one, intending to introduce my family to my girlfriend.” I nodded, crossing one leg over the other and leaning forward in my chair. “She actually broke up with me last week and I don’t want to go to this wedding I already said I’d bring a plus one to alone.”
“That would be pretty embarrassing.” He agreed.
“Yeah, especially since the whole thing will be covered in the media.” My eyes widened, even more intrigued than I was before. “Like I said, this wedding is a big deal. My cousin getting married is Kim Seokjin.” I almost choked on my drink at that piece of information.
“THE Kim Seokjin?” I asked to clarify, my heart starting to beat faster. He nodded and I sat back in my chair, weighing my options. The money I could make from this job would definitely pay off the rest of my tuition and then some and seeing my exes face while I showed up to his wedding on his cousin’s arm would be priceless. But was I really ready to face him again? It’s been 3 years, but the love we shared doesn’t just disappear, at least not for me.
“I understand this is going to be pricey, but I’m willing to pay anything.” I met his eyes and could see this desperation behind them. “The trip is completely paid for, and we’ll really only need to be a couple for a few days, the others you can go off and sightsee as much as you like.” I thought of the heartbreak Kim Seokjin put me through just because I wasn’t some heiress, and in that moment I’d honestly do it for free if I didn’t absolutely need the money.
“I’ll give you a discount if you’re willing to pay for the trip itself.” I told him and opened the notebook I brought with me to talk price. We then went over terms and boundaries. By the end, I pulled a contract out of my folder and explained the major points of it and slid it over for him to sign. “It’ll be a pleasure working with you.” I smiled, holding out my hand for him to shake.
“I can’t believe you’re going to your exes wedding as his cousin’s fake girlfriend.” My best friend, Namjoon shook his head. He had come over the minute I told him I’d be leaving on a two-week work trip. Telling him my job when I first started it was nerve-wracking as I didn’t know if he’d view me differently. Instead of judging me, he’s been calling me his sugar mommy for these past 3 years.
“I can’t wait to see his face.” I laughed as I zipped up my second bag and placing it by the door. Taehyung told me since I was going as his girlfriend, he would have a driver pick me up and he’d meet me at the airport so we could arrive together.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Namjoon was the one who held me as I cried over the breakup. He was the one who bought me ice-cream and watched dumb rom coms with me. He’s the reason my heart healed in the first place.
“It’s been 3 years. He’s obviously moved on. It’s my turn to get back at him for all the heartache I’ve dealt with. Besides, how could I turn down a free vacation before my final year?” Namjoon laughed as he shook his head. “I’ll bring you back lots of gifts.” He wrapped his arms around me, telling me to call him if I needed anything. “I should go. Taehyung says the driver should be outside.” Namjoon grabbed my bags without me even asking and brought them down to the car, me following closely behind.
“I’ll see you when you come back. I want all the details.” I leaned up to kiss his cheek and told him I’ll give him all the tea as soon as I return.
Taehyung kept his promise and was waiting for me at the airport. The driver he hired to pick me up walking behind me, carrying my bags against my will. Taehyung smiled when he saw me and reached to take the bags from the driver. “Thank you for taking care of my girlfriend, Jun Ho. Are you ready to go?” I nodded as Taehyung handed my bags off to someone else who put them on a bag cart that held his bags. “Then off we go.” I linked my arm with his as we headed to board the plane.
The entire plane ride, Taehyung went over more things I’d need to know, and let me know he had my outfits picked out for the major events we’d be attending. It was eating me up inside not telling him about the history I had with his cousin, but I couldn’t risk him changing his mind and me not getting the revenge I deeply wanted.
A car picked us up from the airport and drove us to the hotel we’d be staying at, and I got to know more about Taehyung. I knew by the time the wedding came; our relationship would look very real.
“Should we go explore?” I asked when we got to our hotel room and unpacked a bit. “I figure we should get to know each other before the wedding.” Taehyung quickly agreed, and the two of us headed out. “Oh no, we’re doing this my way.” I wrapped my hands around his forearm, pulling him away from the car he was heading towards.
“What if we get lost?” I shrugged as we began walking away from the hotel and into the city. “You are a strange one.” Taehyung laughed. He slid his hand into mine as we walked.
“It’ll be fun. If we get lost, I’ll let you call your driver to pick us up and take us back.” I said nonchalantly and swung our arms back and forth as we walked. The two of us talked as we walked, and I found myself really enjoying his company as I shopped around for gifts for Namjoon. As we entered yet another store, a shirt immediately caught my eye. It was one I know Namjoon would absolutely love, so I beckoned Taehyung over. Though not quite as tall as my best friend, I could still make an assessment by using him.
“What are you doing?” Taehyung laughed as I held the shirt up to his body and tried to envision it on Namjoon.
“I promised my best friend I’d bring him back some gifts and I know this is something he’d love!” I exclaimed with a wide smile on his face.
“So why that hard of a thinking face?” He teased.
“He’s a bit taller than you. So I’m just trying to picture him in it.” Taehyung smiled while shaking his head. It was in this moment that I realized just how similar he was to Kim Seokjin. I tried to hide the hurt I was suddenly feeling and continued to smile while taking the shirt up to the till.
“Let me pay.” Taehyung smiled, pulling out his wallet. I put my hand over his and told him I couldn’t let him, as it was a gift for my friend. “Consider this a thank you for all you’re doing for me.”
“You’re not going to let me pay, are you?” He shook his head.
“Get used to it, princess.” My heart sank at the all too familiar nickname. Seokjin would always call me his princess, promising me a life of riches that I told him over and over again I didn’t need. Get used to it, princess. He would tell me again and again. I was really prepared to spend the rest of my life with him. I was ready to throw away my dreams and focus on being his wife and stand by his side as he took over the family business.
Taehyung and I headed back to the hotel as the sun began to set. I had my arm linked with his as he carried the couple bags of things we bought, and I laughed at some story he told me. As we entered the lobby, my laugh caught the attention of a familiar face who was heading towards the elevator with his wife-to-be. My heart stopped beating when I met his eyes, and his smile fell when he met mine.
“Jin-hyung!” Taehyung exclaimed, not sensing the obvious tension in the air. “Y/N, this is my cousin who’s getting married.” I smiled up at him and held out my hand as Taehyung introduced us seemingly for the first time. “This is my girlfriend.”
“Lovely to meet you. This is my future wife, Chae-Eun.” I shook both of their hands, telling them I was excited for the wedding.
“Why don’t the 4 us grab breakfast in the morning? I’d love to get to know you.” Chae-Eun smiled. Before Seokjin or I could disagree, Taehyung was agreeing, saying we’d meet them in the lobby at 10. We all then gathered in the elevator and silently made our way to our rooms.
“I hope I didn’t overstep by agreeing to breakfast.” Taehyung said as we entered our room. He placed the bags on the ground and gave me an apologetic smile. I shook my head.
“The deal was I’m your girlfriend for 2 weeks.” I reminded him. “Besides, I think it’d be nice to meet the bride and groom before the wedding.” He agreed. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to shower and get ready for bed.” He nodded and told me to go right ahead. I grabbed some pajamas and my phone before locking myself in the bathroom and panic texting Namjoon.
Hold up! So now not only do you have to watch your first love get married, but you also have to go to breakfast with him and his fiancée? He replied back almost instantly.
Yes! And damn does he ever look handsome! I thought back to seeing him as he turned to face me, obviously recognizing my laugh. It’s been 3 years, but he barely aged and looked as good as ever in his obviously tailored suit. Chae-Eun looked perfect next to him in her gorgeous yet simple sundress and heels. She looked better next to him than I ever could. And she’s absolutely perfect. I added before he could reply. I thought I could handle seeing him again, but I didn’t expect to be thrown back 3 years to the person I was, falling in love with him all over again.
No one beats you. He told me, causing a small smile to break out on my face before I started the shower.
When I was finished, I crawled into one of the two beds and Taehyung said he was going to shower. I nodded and unlocked my phone to see a text from a number I thought I deleted. What are you doing here? I debated not saying anything, but I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. I was here to see him get married.
Taehyung is my boyfriend. Sorry if that bothers you. I responded after carefully wording and then rereading the text.
Are you using him like you did me? I scoffed at his reply, thinking back to our breakup, my heart breaking all over again. Sorry princess, but I could never marry a gold digger. The same nickname he would call me lovingly was suddenly filled with venom as I cried for him to stay. I tried telling him I loved him not for his money.
I never used you. And I’m not using Taehyung, I’m in love with him.
Funny, that’s what you used to say to me. Don’t think for a second that you being here will change my mind about Chae-Eun. I’d never marry a gold digger.
You two look good together. And I’m happier with Taehyung than I ever was with you. My heart broke more and more the longer we texted, but I couldn’t stop myself from responding. At least I was getting a reply now, unlike 3 years ago when I asked for him to just hear me out.
The next morning, I woke up before Taehyung and quietly got ready for breakfast with my ex and his fiancée. Taehyung was awake and sitting in bed when I exited the bathroom, ready to take on the day. “Good morning.” He smiled.
“Good morning.” I smiled back. “You should get ready. We have to meet your cousin and his fiancée in 30 minutes.” He nodded and grabbed some clothes before heading into the bathroom. I took this time to reread my conversation with Seokjin last night and hope I could continue the completely in love girlfriend in front of him.
“Shall we go?” Taehyung asked, stepping out of the bathroom dressed in jeans and a white button up shirt. A different look than I was used to seeing him in, but he certainly did know how to work any outfit. I stood from the bed and smoothed out my dress as I slid on my heels.
“Do I look okay?” I asked, doing a little twirl with a nervous smile on my face. Taehyung smiled wide and took a few steps closer to me, taking my hand in his.
“You look stunning.” He told me softly as he laced our fingers and brought my hand up to his lips to give a soft kiss. The butterflies took flight in my stomach at the simple gesture, and if I’m honest, I didn’t want to stop them. I smiled up at him as the two of us headed down to the lobby, exchanging small talk on the way down. Seokjin and Chae-Eun were already in the lobby waiting for us.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting.” I bowed and the 4 of us piled into the two cars waiting for us out front. Taehyung told me more stories of his childhood and I couldn’t help but giggle at some of the antics he used to get up to as a child. I shared a few of mine, laughing at his reactions to the stories I told him. It felt like I’d known him for years instead of days. And for the first time since I started my job at Dream Come True, I found myself wanting this contract to never end.
Seokjin and Chae-Eun arrived at the restaurant before us and were waiting outside when we pulled up. Taehyung and I were laughing at a story I told him before we got out. I could feel Seokjin’s judgemental eyes on me the second I got out of the car, but I tried not to let it bother me.
“How did you two meet?” Chae-Eun asked, excited to hear everything about mine and Taehyung’s love story.
“Oh my god, it’s so embarrassing!” I exclaimed, covering my face in fake embarrassment. Taehyung wrapped his arm around me, chuckling as he said he found it super cute. “I work part time at a library just off my campus.” I began, diving into the story we made up. About him coming in looking for a specific book, but when he came to ask me a question, I thought he was my co-worker and began talking about the attractive guy I watched walk in before turning around and seeing it was him.
“Her face went completely red, and I couldn’t help but smile. She was really cute.” I felt the heat rise to my cheeks when he said that, and I playfully smacked his arm.
“It was so embarrassing. My co-worker still won’t let me live it down.” I laughed.
“Hey, not only did you help me find the book I needed, but I got a really pretty girlfriend.” He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek just as our waiter came back with our food.
“It seems like you two were made for each other.” Chae-Eun gushed, a wide smile on her face. “I’m so happy Taehyung was able to find someone perfectly matched for him.” Seokjin scoffed as he dug into his food, earning a confused stare from both Chae-Eun and Taehyung.
“Thank you, noona. Y/N gets me better than anyone else I’ve met.” I smiled at him before digging into my own meal, trying to supress my shock at how delicious it was. I can already feel myself getting used to the expensive food all over again.
“You thinking of marrying her?” Seokjin asked casually in between bites of his own breakfast, causing me to almost choke on my food.
“Of course.” Taehyung said casually before taking another bite. “She’s the love of my life.” My heart sunk into my stomach, but I tried to continue to smile.
“I can’t picture anyone else at the end of aisle.” I added, smiling over to Taehyung, who was already looking at me. “But if you’ll excuse me, I have to use the restroom.” I pushed my chair out and headed towards the bathrooms to try and calm my heart. As soon as the door closed behind me, I pulled my phone out and called Namjoon. “This breakfast is a train wreck!” I whisper-yelled into the phone.
“That bad?” He asked.
“Well, Taehyung and I just agreed that we see ourselves getting married.”
“Oof.” I laughed at his response as I tried to hold back the tears.
“Why did I think this was a good idea?” I asked myself more so than Namjoon.
“Money.” I laughed again. “Listen, just fake a stomach-ache and go back to the hotel. Don’t spend anymore time with Seokjin than you have to.” I took a deep breath.
“That’s a good idea. I can’t keep falling in love with him.” We said our goodbyes and I quickly fixed up my makeup, trying to make it look like I didn’t cry. When I exited the bathroom, Seokjin grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the side.
“Why did it have to be my cousin?” He whispered.
“Listen, I didn’t know he was your cousin when we met. By the time I found out, I was already in love with him.” I lied, trying to seem as apologetic and nonchalant as I could.
“I could pretend to love Chae-Eun when you weren’t around, but with you here, it’s so hard.” I ripped my wrist from his grasp.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but you’re the one that broke up with me. I have every right to move on with someone who truly loves me and doesn’t see me as just a gold digger.” I tried to walk away and rejoin the table, but he grabbed my arm again and pushed me against the wall, trapping me between his arms.
“Does he really make you happier than I did?” He practically growled into my ear. “Does he love you more than me?” He pulled his face away from my ear and looked into my eyes, bringing one hand from the wall and traced my jaw with his pointer finger as he tipped my head up to better meet his eyes. “Does he make you feel good like I did?” He finished with a smirk. I took a deep breath and pushed him away from me.
“He’s a better boyfriend than you ever were.” I whispered to him as I stormed off towards our table, trying to pretend my heart wasn’t racing, as if I wasn’t completely in love with him. “Sorry, I just suddenly don’t feel well.” I apologized to Chae-Eun and Taehyung when I returned.
“Is everything okay?” Taehyung jumped at the chance to be the protective boyfriend. I told them I just had a stomach-ache and that I’d be fine. “I think we’re going to head out first.” He announced as Seokjin returned to the table. “Can’t have my girlfriend feeling sick.” We stood from the table and made our way out to the car that was waiting for us. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just not used to traveling.” I lied and gave him a small smile. Taehyung nodded and asked the driver to take us back to the hotel.
The two of us spent the rest of the day inside the hotel room, even though I told him he could leave if he wanted to. He refused to leave me, adamant on nursing me back to health. It was then that I wished I met Taehyung before I met Seokjin.
The days leading up to the rehearsal dinner, Taehyung and I explored the city and went to all the tourist places. The more time I spent with him, the more I enjoyed having him by my side. He took amazing photos of me across the city, and I tried my best to take just as good pictures of him, but they never turned out. “How are you so handsome even when I catch you off-guard!” I exclaimed a few times during our time.
“I could ask you how you’re so gorgeous in every picture!” He exclaimed back. I scrolled through the pictures we’ve taken, wishing I could post the ones of the both of us, but I knew I’d just have to delete them when this was all over. So, I just posted the ones he took of me as a memory of time spent with him.
We basically spent all of our time away from the hotel, enjoying the sights and getting to know each other on a level I wasn’t used to with my clients. The guilt ate at me more and more the closer I got to Taehyung. The night before the rehearsal dinner, I broke. “I have something to confess.” I told him as he walked out of the bathroom as we got ready for bed. He sat on his bed, facing me as I tried to figure out exactly what to say. “I dated Kim Seokjin.” I finally spit out, deciding it was best not to beat around the bush. Instead of getting angry and yelling at me, Kim Taehyung just laughed.
“I already know that, princess.” My mouth dropped open. “He always showed you off, posted pictures of you constantly.”
“Why didn’t you say anything!?” I exclaimed, a smile taking over my previous shock. “The guilt about keeping this secret has been eating me alive!” He laughed again.
“Princess, do you really think I just needed you as my plus one because it would be embarrassing to show up alone?” I nodded.
“I don’t make it a habit to question my clients.” He shook his head.
“I chose you knowing you were his ex. I don’t really have anything against my cousin, he’s a good guy, but these trips are so damn boring. I thought I’d add some spice.” I laughed and shook my head.
“I think I’m in love with you, Kim Taehyung.” I chuckled, the smile never leaving my face. “So this whole thing is just entertainment for you.”
“And revenge for you. It’s a win-win. Honestly, seeing his face when he saw you was absolutely priceless.” I playfully smacked his leg after he said that. “Come on! You can’t tell me you’re not having fun.”
“Honestly, this is the most fun I’ve had in years.” He looked at me with a triumphant look on his face and I just shook my head at him.
“Now, let’s get some sleep. We have some drama to stir up.” I crawled into bed as he got up to turn the lights off. This trip just got a whole lot more exciting.
Unfortunately for Taehyung and I, the rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch, and he was right, these events are so boring. So as everyone began to mingle, the two of us snuck out to go elsewhere. “Oh my god, I think we need to breakup dude. I’d fall asleep at my own damn wedding if I had to go through all of that.” I joked as the two of us walked around, enjoying the fresh air.
“Oh, we’re getting married now, are we?”
“Of course. I couldn’t picture anyone else at the end of the aisle.” I repeated my words from the breakfast we had almost a week ago as a joke. “But we’re going to have a fun wedding or I’m divorcing you.” He laughed and I just stopped in my tracks as I looked at him. In that moment as he stopped laughing and walking to turn and ask if I was alright, I realized I was truly falling for him.
“You okay?” He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders, giving me a quick once over, looking for any sign of discomfort or injury. I just stared at his face, his eyes full of concern for my wellbeing, and allowed myself to take in his handsome face. I counted to 3 before allowing myself to break the one rule I made when I started my job and pressed my lips to his in a soft kiss. My arms wrapped around his neck as I pulled him closer, the butterflies in my stomach exploding the second he kissed me back, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer.
“I’d say I was sorry, but I’m really not.” I smiled when we pulled away, our foreheads pressed together, both of us catching our breath from the kiss. “I’d also say it would never happen again, but I really want to kiss you again.”
“I’m not stopping you, princess.” He whispered and I wasted no time in pressing my lips to his again. “Does this mean we have to breakup before we can have a boring wedding?” He joked as we walked hand-in-hand back to the hotel as the sun set.
“I already said, our wedding it going to be fun or we’re getting a divorce.” I joked back and my heart swelled at the sound of his laughter. “What a first date we’re about to have tomorrow.” I joked. “Quite a story to tell our friends, that our first date was my exes wedding who also happens to be your cousin.”
“Oof, that is quite a first date.” We laughed.
“Wait! Now I can post all those cute pictures of us!” I exclaimed as we walked into the lobby. “I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to have to delete them later.”
“How the hell could you not tell I started to like you for real days ago when we took those pictures?” He shook his head at me as he handed me his phone, his Instagram open for me to see, his most recent 3 pictures being of us. “You obviously don’t follow me, and now I’m offended, and I think we should break up.”
“Too late.” I told him as I handed him my phone, my most recent post open for him to see. It was a picture of the two of us that he took. He stood behind me with one of his arms wrapped around my waist and his chin resting on my head and his other arm extended to take the photo. We both wore wide smiles. It was my favourite picture the two of us took, and I captioned it Mine with a heart.
“I guess I’ll stick around a while longer then.” He handed my phone back and quickly kissed my cheek. As we got into the elevator, Namjoon was calling me, and I burst out laughing. “I’m guessing that’s the best friend and he’s got some questions.”
“You would be correct.” I replied as I answered the phone.
“You bitch!” He exclaimed on the other line. Taehyung burst out laughing, obviously hearing what Namjoon had said. “You go out there as a fake girlfriend to your exes wedding and now you’re posting cute pictures saying mine and shit.” I followed Taehyung out of the elevator when the doors opened and couldn’t help but laugh at my best friend.
“Well, I guess you could say I’m no longer here as a fake girlfriend.” I laughed as Namjoon screamed. Taehyung looked over at me with wide eyes, wondering what the fuck was happening.
“You are NOT actually dating your exes cousin.” Taehyung swiped the phone from my hand and quickly responded to my best friend.
“She absolutely is actually dating her exes cousin.” Before he could hand it back, Namjoon was screaming out his name, causing Taehyung and I both to burst into laughter.
“Namjoon, you need calm down. The neighbours are going to think you’re being murdered.” I told him through my giggles.
“Full story the second you’re back, you sly bitch.” I rolled my eyes and told him I already promised to give him all the details of my trip when I returned.
“I guess this is the part where I tell you he’s also my roommate, so you’ll be seeing a lot of him when we get back.” Taehyung wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him.
“If it means being with you, I think I can deal with your very loud best friend.” He whispered before pulling me into another kiss.
The next morning, I woke up to Taehyung peppering my face in kisses, causing me to giggle and grab his face in my hands. “You keep missing.” I pouted and he wasted no time in kissing the pout right off my face.
“You ready to stir up some shit?” He asked as he stared into my eyes. I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I nodded.
“With you, I’m ready for anything.” The two of us got up and started to get ready. He placed the gown he bought for me on the bed, and I let out an audible gasp. It was a gorgeous baby pink, floor length gown that hugged all the right curves. It was off the shoulders with lace detailing on the top and I truly felt like a million dollars as soon as I put it on. Taehyung helped zip me into it and I turned to get his reaction, my freshly curled hair flowing down my back.
“Wow.” He breathed out, placing his hands on my hips and bringing his face closer to mine. “If I didn’t make you mine yesterday, I definitely would have today.” He smiled before capturing my lips with his in a passionate kiss.
The two of us headed out to the venue. Despite the rehearsal dinner going perfectly, I couldn’t help but feel like something was going to go wrong. Taehyung ran his thumb over my knuckles as we sat in the first row, waiting for Chae-Eun to walk down the aisle. I could see Seokjin’s mom give me the stink eye from my peripherals, but I didn’t let it bother me. I wasn’t dating her son anymore, and Taehyung’s mom adored me when she met me the day before. Soon, the wedding march began, and we all stood to watch Chae-Eun walk down the aisle.
Taehyung subtly played with my fingers as the boring stuff began and I just quietly giggled to myself and tried to pay attention. Seeing Jin standing up there, dressed in his tux, holding hands with a girl in a wedding dress that wasn’t me, didn’t hurt me as much as I expected it to. Taehyung and I weren’t paying that much attention until I heard my name. My head whipped up towards the soon-to-be wed couple with wide eyes, and Jin stared right back at me, his eyes just as wide. Chae-Eun stood there, unsure of what to do and obviously trying to hold her tears back.
“Now this is excitement.” Taehyung whispered. I playfully slapped him, but he was right. This is exactly what we wanted, well not exactly this. I felt bad for Chae-Eun who seemed to truly love Kim Seokjin with her whole heart, and he just said someone else’s name right before they were to say I Do.
Hushed whispered erupted from the crowd the longer the couple just stood there in silence. “My sincerest apologies to everyone, and especially to Chae-Eun, my beautiful bride.” Jin finally spoke after minutes of silence. “I made a mistake 3 years ago, letting an amazing woman go due to social status. I haven’t seen her since that day, and she’s sitting in the crowd today and it caused a slip up. If it weren’t for her, Chae-Eun and I wouldn’t have met, and I wouldn’t have met the one I’m meant to be with. So, Chae-Eun, if you’ll still have me, I promise I’ll never make another mistake when it comes to loving you.” She looked to me and Taehyung before looking back to Jin. The venue was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“I can forgive you this time because I love you.” She finally answered with a small smile. The rest of the ceremony went off without hitch and it was time to head to the reception.
“I can’t believe that happened.” I said when we got into our car.
“I can. Have you seen you, Y/N? He definitely fucked up letting you go, but if he didn’t, we wouldn’t be here today.” I smiled at Taehyung, my heart swelling in contentment. “Do you think that’s hot enough tea for you friend?” He chuckled.
“Not hotter than our relationship.” I leaned in for a quick kiss before the two of us got out of the car and headed into the reception. The bride and groom were making their rounds, thanking everyone for coming. I had hoped they just wouldn’t approach us so we wouldn’t have to talk about Jin’s slip up.
“Y/N, Taehyung, thank you for coming.” Chae-Eun smiled and brought the two of us in for small hugs.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, Y/N.” Jin said, and I just shook my head.
“I’m just glad it worked out in the end. I’d feel terrible if that slip up ended your relationship. She’s really a keeper, Jin.” He smiled over to Chae-Eun and agreed with me.
“How come you two didn’t say anything about your previous relationship?” Chae-Eun asked, looking between the two of us.
“Well, I don’t know about Jin, but it’s kind of a sore spot for me. It’s not something I really talk about.” Jin scratched the back of his neck, something I learned over the years of loving him, he did when he was nervous.
“I said a lot of hurtful things. I really wasn’t myself back then, and I’m sorry.”
“No more apologies, Jin. You’re happy, and I am too. I’ve moved on and it may be weird that it’s your cousin, but he really does make me happy.” Taehyung wrapped his arm around my waist, bringing me closer to him and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. “Chae-Eun, I really hope there’s no hard feelings. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing each other in the future, and I hope we can be friendly.” She smiled at me and nodded.
“We’ll exchange numbers later; we have more people to see. But I hope we can hang out.” I agreed, and the happy couple left to continue making their rounds.
“Did you ever think you’d become friends with your exes wife?” Taehyung chuckled in my ear before placing another kiss on my cheek.
“Almost as unbelievable as dating my exes cousin.”
“Just so you know, I’m not leaving you even if you ended up homeless.” I turned to face him completely and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Please know I’m not a gold digger.” I whispered, barely able to meet his eyes. He took his thumb and pointer finger and grabbed my chin to make my eyes meet his.
“I’d never think such a thing.” He whispered to me before closing the space between us in a passionate kiss that took my breath away.
#dream come true#bts#bts imagine#kim taehyung#kim taehyung imagine#jeon jungkook#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#kim namjoon#park jimin
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Bury Me In Bliss (Prt 1)
Y/N P.O.V.
I grew more and more upset with hearing my husband rant about how the resort we were staying at didn't have shrimp cocktails. Mind you we were on our honeymoon so all I wanted to do was relax and enjoy ourselves. But all that I have experienced has been him doing work as if he isn't on vacation and him complaining. It had me wondering if I had made the wrong decision, but I loved him dearly.
"I'm going to the pool to relax babe." I announce to him as I gather my things into my bag.
"mmhm yeah baby enjoy" he responds without even looking up from his laptop.
I glance at him after I've finished making my bag. He didn't even flinch to try to come with me; I roll my eyes. Work seems more important to him then our relationship, whatever, I just needed to get away from this atmosphere.
Walking out of the hotel suite we shared I feel the breeze of the nearby ocean hit me as I decide to take the stairs today. It gave me time to really experience life and indulge myself in it. Once I make it downstairs passing by the front desk the clerk greets me telling me to have a nice day. I smile thanking her as I set out to the pool.
As I start walking I find that I can't find my way to the pool even though I was following signs. I make a turn going into a secluded walk way covered by walls of wild flowers on each side. I stop pulling out a pamphlet I packed in my bag before I left our room. From where my location was it seems I wasn't far from the resort's pool. Without realizing it I was unconsciously walking and reading. However, soon I bumped into something or someone.
"Omg I'm so sorry" I quickly try to apologize glancing up.
"Are you lost babygirl?" She says.
Oh I was lost alright. I was lost for words, sentences, even a simple smile to be polite couldn't be conjured up. She looked like someone out of a movie, someone you wouldn't normally see in real life. Her jet black shiny hair flown down her back as beautiful tattoos dawned her arms. She wore a white bottom skirt and a black bikini top that her big breasts toppled over in. I had to snap myself out of my thoughts before I looked more weird just mesmerizing her.
"N-no I'm good thank you" I respond looking to the ground to avoid those strong brown eyes that seems to swallow me whole.
I look back to see if anyone is behind me because this walk way was pretty small and seemed to be an area that people would come through or at least for my bikini bottom's I hope so. Turning back around I prepare to scurry off to my destination, but when I look she is no where to be found. It was as if she was never there, more of a figment of my imagination. I chuckle softly to myself before continuing on my way.
Once I make it to the pool I smile at seeing families playing having fun doing, couples enjoying one another, and then there's me. I was all alone on a honeymoon that was supposed to be spent with my workaholic husband. Laying down one of the lounge chairs I find the prefect shaded areas. After prepping my areas I lean back with my glasses on reading. Lover's Delight, was the perfect book, two lovers from totally different background find love between a rock and a hard place. Oh and it surely helped that the intimate scenes were very detailed.
I got lost in the book and didn't realize it was time for the pool to close. How didn't I hear the sound of splashing and laughter diminish. Looking around there was only about two crew members cleaning one of which had yell out to me about them closing soon. I get up packing up sighing, it had turned dark outside so the resort had tikis lite around almost every area.
The sound of the waves from the ocean front that wasn't too far was so soothing. I was in paradise and yet my mind still wondered to that beautiful women whose accent sent chills down my spine. I shouldn't have such a reaction towards her, when I've never met or seen her a day in my life. My daydream was broken by a shuffling sound that raised the hairs on my skin and gave me goosebumps. I was by myself, stupid Y/N.
I started to speed walk as the sound got louder. Once I turned a corner there stood two big buff dudes that looked like security guards and a shorter dude in the middle. He was covered in a nice designer silk shirt with black slacks on with a tooth pick leaning out mouth. He reeked of coach cologne, which I only knew because that's what I bought my husband for his present, My husband! My mind switched thinking what he must've been thinking where I was especially by this time.
"Your going to need to come with us ma'am" his rasp thick voice cut my ears.
I clear my throat fear seeping into my bones.
"No, I have to get back to my husband. So if you will excuse me" I say as I try to walk around them, but then am blocked.
"I wouldn't refuse if I were you. See we've talked to your husband already he doesn't mind one bit for you to come speak to my niece." He responds walking closer to me.
"Your niece? Why would I want to speak to her?" I ask backing away slowly.
"Well it's not so much you wanna speak to her as she really wants to speak to you. Which I can see why" He responds reaching his hand out to me.
I look down at it, it seemed to be my only ticket out of this seeing as my prick of a husband allowed for this to happen. A divorce was so going to be in the works for sure. It all happened so fast, accepting his offer they whisked me away someplace unknown. But oh boy was it beautiful, light shined bright on the outside making the golden beige walls show. Gorgeous bright flowers spread across the land, which could have been easily an acre or two. We pull up to the brick covered curved drive way, one of the buff guards helped me out.
"Welcome home" The persistent uncle laid his hand out to the house.
I raise my eyebrow shaking my head.
"I have a home already and this isn't it" I slightly bark at him.
The smug look on his face spoke volumes about how he didn't like my remark. I could tell my defiance against wanting to come was eating at him by the shift in his demeanor. Instead of responding he just walks away and the buff securities give me a light push to follow.
Soon a man with more guards comes rushing towards him. Geez are they all buff here. This man looked totally different from the uncle. His skin wasn't covered in tattoos and compared to the uncle's olive complexion he was much paler almost as if the sun completely forgot about him. Clear glasses sat upon his button nose and he looked flushed or anxious to speak to the uncle.
"Sir D'Angelo, your niece has been waiting your arrival. She's been getting very upset since you left." He says as he walks along side the uncle or Sir D'Angelo I should say.
He sighs heavily.
"I apologize, I had trouble getting whomever this is to her to come along." He scoffs.
"Nothing, I'm nothing to her." I call out rolling my eyes.
It was bad enough I had to be here despite my stupid husband agreeing to this whole ordeal, but then I had to here this guy's mouth? Yeah no.
The two men started to drift off into a conversation about what seemed to be family matters. From what I picked up by listening is that this niece of his was the next in charge since her father has passed and apparently she is quite the talk of a lot of people. Apparently not though because I've never heard of her.
We arrive at the front door and the securities make quick work of opening the doors for the three of us. If the outside wasn't impressive then the inside stole the show. Antiques, expensive cloths, and delicate furniture surrounded the parts of the house that I saw.
"Ahh my guest has arrived" I hear a thick familiar accent, it can't be.
There's no way it was her, she was just a figment of my imagination. The way she disappear earlier was too fast for even me. I turn towards the direction of her voice and there she was, she was real. Clad in a black and gold silk button up that had two buttons loose to showcase her chest with white pants that made the shirt the main event she stood tall. She easily hovered over me and as she walked up a smirk covered her face.
"Hey there babygirl" she spoke again.
There goes that word again, that word that sent chills down my spine. Her coming closer to me took me out of my gawking stare with her. She smelt of a Acqua di Gioia.
"Hello" I respond shyly focusing my eyes on something else anything really that wasn't her.
"Thank you for bringing her uncle. I begin to worry you had gotten lost old man" she smiles joking.
He lets out a big chuckle, and for the first time since I met him he smiled.
"You picked a tough one Gaia, good luck my love. I'll see you in the morning." He waves his good bye going to the other side of the house with a cigar now burning in his mouth.
"Picked? Picked me for what?" I asked now snapping my eyes to her.
"You need not worry about that, come let me show you to where you will be staying" she responds grabbing my waist walking me towards a dim lit hallway.
Wine colored drapes covered the walls as family pictures were posted on them. I was so taken back by this whole place that the fact that all these people were strangers and I was staying in a house with them hadn't crossed my mind yet. Being in her embrace as she walked me to what I assumed was going to be my room chilled me. Her grip on my waist enticed something in me, something that made me wet.
"Here's were you will be staying" she said as she opened a big brown door.
Inside was a bed covered in black cotton sheets, tile that had designs all on them, a big window that led to a balcony with a view of the ocean, and dressers & night stands. It was beautiful, but it seemed like someone already stayed in the room even as it was made up.
"I'm not sleeping anywhere until I'm told why I'm here" I persisted turning around towards her.
Her smile turned into a frown and right there I wanted to kiss her, no you don't your married remember? Oh yeah
"I don't want you to have to worry your pretty self about that. I'll tell you everything in the morning I promise." She walks over to me bringing me into her by my waist.
"Whatever, fine" it was the only short thing I could think of to avoid stuttering my life away.
"You can wash up in there. There's already clothes set aside in there for you." She resumes.
Yeah not creepy at all.
I place my things down in a nearby chair, then goes into the bathroom. The all white bathroom was a completely different look than what I had seen of the house so far. The shower completely covered the wall and the doors were glass meaning anyone could see through them, the tub was in another corner and was big enough for at least four people. The counter had two sinks and a full wall length mirror.
"This whole house is big" I say to myself.
I start the bathtub because there was no way in hell I was taking the chance of someone walking in on me while I was in the shower. I was confident in my body but not that confident. Once the tub was filled I stripped getting in the warm water enveloped me hugging every particle of my body.
As relaxing as the bath was I had to leave it. I got out drying off, draining the tub, and changing into the pajamas that were set for me. They were light blue panties with a button up top and shorts. Once I finished I walked out to find Gaia in the bed reading dressed in a similar pajama set like mine, but it was black and the bottoms were long. I noticed a slight bump towards the top but ignored it thinking it was an bubble from the pajamas being too big.
"Uh are you in here to tell me goodnight?" I asked slowly walking over to the bed.
"No, this is our bed, our room, our bathroom" she responds patting the spot next to her.
"Our? I'm married. The only ours I know is with my husband" I say standing by the ottoman at the end of the bed.
"Yes yes, the workaholic husband who is too busy all the time to attend to your needs. Tell me Y/N when was the last time that you busted?" A coy look crossed her face and her hazel eyes buried into my brown ones.
I could feel the tension in the room build and the wave in my stomach starting to flow. I twisted my head side ways slightly in a questioning matter.
"First off, how do you know my name? Secondly, why does it matter when's the last time I busted? It's none of your business" I responded.
Her lips curl into a smirk and she raises her eyebrows.
"Oh I know everything about you my darling. But what I don't know is how you seem satisfied with someone who barely pays you any mind. Someone who flew you cross countries just to stare at him laptop all day and he on work conferences." She says coming closer across the bed to me.
I unconsciously move backwards.
"He is a busy man, he is the boss he has to know everything. I get my needs the way I have to." My breathe hitches when she comes chest to chest with me with my back against the wall.
Her soft hand comes up to my chin lifting my head up towards her. Yeah she easily towered over me.
"How's that?" She husked out.
I was speechless. Her eyes were scanning every bit of my face searching for a response and when my mouth was agape she chuckled slightly.
"See babygirl I can treat you so much better I can learn how your body reacts to my touch" she leans into my ear and her breathe makes goosebumps cover my skin.
Her hands roam my body making me twitch some. She shouldn't have this effect on me especially because I'm married to my husband no matter how inconsiderate and stupid he can be sometimes. Breaking me out of my thought was the feeling of her hand caressing my thigh.
"No no, this is wrong. I'm married I love him dearly and I shouldn't be doing this." I push her back slightly, which didn't work because she was stronger than me.
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself of that?" She looks down at me moving back some.
"I don't have to convince myself of something I know. Now if you excuse me I have to get back to my hotel." I refused to stay and get tempted by this oh so beautiful woman who at the moment I was ready to risk it all for.
Before I could reach to grab my bag she grabbed my arm spinning me back around into her. Her arms entrapped me in her embrace against her. Even after showering she smelled amazing like a rose garden.
"Your not going anywhere especially this dark and this far from your resort. Just stay and I'll show you what I have to offer." She said with a slight dominance sticking to her voice.
"Fine, but I'm leaving first thing in the morning" I respond wiggling out of her grip and over to I guess my side of the bed.
"Yeah we will se about that" she says going to her side.
We both get in, me scooted all the way to the edge of my side and her closer to the middle. She huffs seeing me turned away from her but besides to leave it be as it was so late.
*next morning*
The morning soon comes and when I wake up. I hear gurgles and moans, there's no way she is having sex in this room while I'm in it. I turn to see the bed empty and at the end of it the sight is shocking yet such a turn on. She was getting sucked off by some maid she must've had.
Her small grunts could be heard, but me shuffling in the bed made her look up towards me and put on a show. She started face fucking the girl who was enjoying being used as a example I guess.
"This could be you. I'd be much more gentle though and I have a feeling you'd enjoy this." She says picking up her pace fucking the girl's throat deeper.
I look at her raising my eyebrows to not give away the fact that she was right. I'd love for it to be me.
"You think using her as an example is going to turn me on or make me change my mind? I'm still going back to the resort, so you might as well save it." I reply getting out of the bed heading to the bathroom.
I freshen up brushing my teeth, which was really awkward considering she was face fucking some girl not to far from me and eventually came. I finished up washing my face, taking a towel I pat dried my face off. As I opened my eyes through the mirror she was looking at me with pure hunger in her eyes as she pulls up her pajama pants.
So that's what that bump was. A rod big enough to end someone up in the hospital, bigger than my husband I could tell you that. I blushed lightly covering it up with a clearance of my throat before walking out the bathroom going to grab my bag. She watches me this time and doesn't try to stop me. It was a bit disheartening because it was the opposite of what I wanted her to do.
I walk out trying to figure out where to go and stubble upon the dining area. A big wooden table was packed with breakfast; fruits, pancakes, biscuits, French toast, bacon, sausage, preservatives & jellies, coffee, juice, and tea. My mouth water and my stomach growled.
"I planned for us to eat something before we started our day. Though I expected it to begin much differently." Her addicting voice carried through the dining area.
I twitched a bit at the wetness building in my bottoms.
"No thank you. I just wanna get back to my hotel." I respond not sparing her glance.
"I would if I could darling" Gaia says.
"What do you mean? Just have the same security take me back, simple." I scrunch my face turning towards her.
"If you sit I'll explain, please Y/N. I'll feel much better when you eat." She nearly pleads.
I reluctantly sigh walking over and making a small quick plate with a cup of coffee.
"Now elaborate please." I say before popping a pineapple in my mouth.
She makes herself a hearty plate then of all the chairs at the table she sits next to me. Ironic. She leans back in the chair looking at me as if she was memorizing the way I looked.
"My family company has worked with your husband's company for years now. About a few months ago we flew in to have a meeting to introduce myself as the new head. I just so happen to see a lovely woman all hugged up on him before we all sat in the meeting room. Besides that we commenced the meeting and discovered how much work between the partnership needed to be done. So—" she stops mid story her eyes glued to my lips.
I look up at her waiting for her to finish her story.
"You've got something" Using a napkin she wipes my lip gently removing some dripping liquid from the fruits.
She clears her throat.
"Anyways, we started working on the partnership and the more we worked the more I found out about his beyond beautiful wife. I just knew I had to have you and when I found discrepancies in our partnership on his in I agreed to tarnish them if he made an agreement with me." She further explains.
"To spend time with me?" I question furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.
"Of course and he hesitantly agreed saying he was grateful I didn't leave the partnership." She finished then dug into her food.
I however had lost my appetite and leant back in the chair. I couldn't believe that my husband agreed to have me damn near kidnapped just to spend time with someone who I have never met in my life. My mind was swimming, I couldn't process half of the information she had just given me.
"Umm excuse me for a second" I pushed myself away from the table, this time she didn't try to stop me.
I walked back to the same room I just came from walking over to the big window opening it a bit to get some fresh air. How was I supposed to take this? How was I supposed to approach my husband after this? I needed to talk with him.
I briskly walk back to the dining area. The table had been cleared off and she still sat drinking a cup of coffee. I went over to my bag searching for my phone. Once I find it, I see that I only have 5% battery, great. No missed calls from him, not even any messages. He already knew. I felt tears fill up in my eyes as I sit down defeated, what was the point of me trying to leave?
She sunk to her knees in front of me placing her hands on my thighs.
"Hey beautiful, your to pretty to be crying" she cooed wiping my tears.
I was to distorted to try to fight back or move away. There was no point anymore.
"How long?" I ask sniffling.
"How long for what?" She tilts her head like a confused puppy.
"A week give or take. Maybe forever if you let me in and let me be what he could never be" Her eyes shine bright in the sunlight that shone through the dining area window.
"You expect me let you in after a week? Especially after you just revealing all that to me." I scoff looking off in the view.
She shakes her head.
"No, I would want you to but I know it will be difficult to" Her thick Italian accent rasps through.
"Come on I want to show you something." She stands up holding out her hand.
I hesitantly take it. She walks me to an area of the house I had not seen. It was a very dull lit area, it had a very intricate library, a wooden desk and a nice rolling chair.
"It's not much but it's where I come when I can't think. When I need to get away from all this family business bullshit." She states as she runs her hands across her desk.
"You didn't choose it did you?" I ask inquisitively.
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Light My Fire - CH17
Pairing: CEO!Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: She always thought her boss was an ill-tempered man, but when he presents her with a proposition she can’t quite deny, she gets to know him better. It’s not bad, right? Because all she has to do is being fake married to him for six months, sounds do-able, right? Right.
Warnings: Fluff, NSFW
WC: 4547
Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.
Beta’d by @deanwanddamons <3
SERIES MATSTERLIST
BECOME A PATRON ~ BUY ME A COFFEE
Y/N wakes up the next day with Dean already out of bed. There’s a tray of breakfast propped on the coffee table. She didn’t even hear the knock at the door when someone brought it. Sleep was bad. It took them both a long time to fall asleep and then she kept waking up during the night.
She blinks the sleep away and sits up in bed. Looking out, she sees Dean. He’s talking on the phone and has gone outside so as not to wake her up. Still feeling tired, she lets herself fall back into the mattress and buries her face into the pillows before pulling the covers over her head. Maybe, if she’s lucky, she can fall asleep again.
There’s the sound of a sliding door, and she hears Dean walking back in. He probably has noticed her moving, and took it as a sign that she’s awake.
“The others will arrive in an hour, you think you wanna get up?”
Well, there goes her sleep.
She peeks out from under the covers and sees Dean sitting next to her on the bed, “The others?”
Dean scoffs, “Yeah, I’m not happy about it either, but apparently Sam and Ruby are seeing it as an opportunity to have a short vacation with the false pretense that he’s my lawyer and he needs to be here to discuss strategy.” He air quotes the word strategy.
“Ruby?”
“She’s coming because he probably wants to impress her,”
“As if he has to try,” she chuckles, and adds, “Are we picking them up?”
“Nah, Jack’s in good hands. Ruby made sure that Jack was on their flight.” Dean’s hand goes under the covers, grabbing her around her waist and pulling her to the edge where he is, “So, you still have time to take a dip in the sea if you want to? I need to go to the front desk and arrange a room for your brother.”
“Not for Sam and Ruby?”
“I think they can manage on their own,”
Y/N smirks, “Can we stay in bed for a little while longer?”
Dean has to smile at that, “Okay, ten more minutes,”
She scoots over again and he gets in, nuzzles his face into her neck while he drapes his arm over her body.
*
Ruby hugs her so tight, she has trouble breathing but who she was most excited to see is Jack.
“Hey,” Jack smiles weakly, visibly tired because he had to get up so early to be able to catch a connecting flight to get here.
Y/N hugs her little brother around his waist and rests her head on his chest to hear his heartbeat. He’s not little anymore but he’s still little to her, “I’m sorry about all of this, Jack,”
Jack rubs her back and wraps his arms around her, “Don’t worry about it, and hey, I get to be in Jamaica, not bad, eh?”
They chuckle. It’s a great reunion. If only the circumstances were different.
After the initial greetings, they sit down on their balcony. Dean had someone bring in drinks and snacks. Sam’s still on the phone and Ruby is inside, changing into her bikini.
Jack sits next to her and she can feel that he’s a little restless as he can’t hold still.
Dean notices it too, while he pours water into glasses and raises an eyebrow at Jack, “You okay there, Jack?”
Jack’s blushing, “Yeah,”
He usually never blushes but now he does and she doesn’t know what it is, but she thinks it’s cute.
“Do you wanna take a dip in the sea?” Dean asks and grins.
“Can I?” Jack’s face lights up when he hears that Dean basically just read his mind.
Dean shrugs, “I saw you eyeing that blue water, so yeah, knock yourselves out. We’ll start when you’re done.”
That’s pure Mr. Winchester. She thinks it’s a gift that Dean has because he can read people very well. Maybe that’s the reason why he’s so successful.
“Awesome!” Jack stands up and gets rid of his shirt, he was so excited that he boarded the plane in his swimming trunks, bless his heart, “I’ll be right back!”
“Hey, be careful!” Y/N shouts after him but Jack’s already taking a dive.
Dean sits next to her when Jack’s down below, splashing around in the sea, “I like him,”
“He doesn’t like you,” She grins and moves closer to Dean, hooking both her legs over his lap and he strokes her thighs and leans back into the seat.
“I know that,” He says, and she leans back too, places her head on his shoulder. Dean pecks the crown of her head. It’s become so natural for him so show her little affection. Little does he know that it means way more to her than it does to him, “I’ll get him to like me, you just watch.” With another breath he adds, “You know, you two remind me of me and Sam. Just that Sammy is a bigger pain in my ass.”
*
After another attempt of gathering everyone together, they finally sit down to talk.
“How did Amara know that we’re here?” Y/N voices her thoughts.
“Uh,” Ruby says, “That might have been my fault. Remember her walking in on Friday?”
Yeah, how could she forget that. She was under the fucking desk blowing her fucking boss.
“Anyway,” Ruby continues, “I had the screen open for your holiday resort and since she had to walk past my desk in order to get to Dean’s office, I’m sure that she saw it.”
“It doesn’t really matter, actually,” Dean says, “She’s here, there’s nothing we can do about it.” He clears his throat before he goes on, “I’ve spoken to Ash and I asked him to find out things about Arthur Ketch. Turns out, he’s not a descendant of English aristocracy but a private investigator. It took Ash the whole night to find that out because there’s not much info on the guy.”
“What?” There are a couple of voices throwing that in.
“Means, that he’s here because she paid him to spy on Y/N and me. Probably get some footage of us not being married so she can expose us.” Dean says in a low voice.
“Would someone please explain what is going on?” Jack throws in. He's right. They still didn’t explain their situation to him.
“We’ll get there, Jack,” Dean says, his voice is softer, “I’ll get back to you, alright? Just have a little patience.”
Jack purses his lips into a thin line and leans back in his chair.
“Do you think they’re still here?” Sam asks, “We didn’t see her when we walked through the resort.”
Dean scoffs, “Sammy, it’s Amara, what do you expect? Of course she’s still here. She’s like the black fucking plague, she won’t go away easily,” he sighs, “All I know is that she’s here and we’re being spied on, so since you are all involved, I want you to get your story straight and don’t let anything slip that would jeopardize this, you understand?”
Everyone nods, except for Jack and Dean notices that, too. He walks over to Jack, places a hand on her brother’s shoulder, “I need to talk to Sam for a bit and after that, I’ll be right with you, okay?”
“Yeah,” Jack snorts, “Sure,”
She can see that Dean is feeling Jack’s rejection, but instead of arguing or explaining more, he gives Jack space. Dean nods his head and walks inside with Sam, leaving them outside.
*
Y/N and Ruby are floating on swimming mats in the sea below their bungalow while Dean has taken Jack on a deep sea fishing trip to explain it to him. She wanted to go too, but Dean said that it’s something between him and Jack, since he’s the one who put Jack in this situation in the first place.
Jack was quick to agree, because her brother loves fishing. Their dad used to take them finishing a lot while he was still alive. She wonders how Dean knows because Ruby doesn’t know these little details. She’s known Ruby since she started to work for Dean and she’s become her best friend since. Ruby knows a lot about her, knows about her past relationships, but Ruby doesn’t know a lot about her relationship with her brother. Y/N never thought it was relevant to their friendship. All she let Ruby know was that Jack was the most important person in her life.
So the two of them left right after Dean discussed things with Sam and they would be back in the evening. Sam’s somewhere, trying to spot Amara and maybe scare her a little with some lawyer lingo. She doesn’t really know. Fact is, that there’s not a lot that they can do because technically, Amara’s allowed to be here. She wonders why Sam and Ruby came at all, because they aren’t necessarily needed, but as Dean said, Sam saw the opportunity and Ruby’s not going to say no to a couple days of fun in the sun.
“So, how’s things with Sam?” she asks Ruby, because since they arrived all they’ve been talking about is Dean and Y/N’s fake fucking marriage and she can’t listen to that anymore.
Ruby smirks, “It’s good. He took me on a trip to Jamaica.”
Y/N snorts, “Yeah, I can see that. On Dean’s expense, apparently. That cheeky little bastard.”
“I like him, Y/N, he’s the best lover.” Ruby gushes, “I can honestly see us being more than just this, you know? Maybe it’s the beginning of something good?”
“Won’t it be weird when you work for the same company?” It’s a legitimate question.
Although the company’s contract doesn’t have a clause that says that they aren’t allowed to strike up a romantic relationship at the workplace. Still, she can imagine that Dean probably wants to make sure that people stay professional while working. Which is really a little hypocritical of him, given what they’ve already done in his office.
“Well, is it weird for you?” Ruby raises an eyebrow.
Y/N swallows, “We’re not— It’s not—”
Her friend scoffs, “Yeah, sure, you keep telling yourself that.”
“My god, Ruby, it’s really—,” She sighs, “Okay, we get along, alright? But we’re not like, anything, I think? At the end of the day, it’s just business.”
“Who are you trying to fool?” Ruby laughs.
“What do you mean?”
“Y/N, for God’s sake, wake up!” Ruby squirts water in her direction, “I think everyone knows but you, and that’s pretty frustrating.”
“Know what?” She squirts water back at her friend to conceal the red flush to her face.
Ruby sighs, “How he behaves around you? He always makes sure that you’re okay. Every fucking day he would come by and ask if you’re alright? It was like that since you started in the office. Have you not noticed?” She opens her mouth to protest but Ruby goes on, “And don’t give me that ‘But he’s asking you too’. What do you expect? He’s standing right there in front of us. He can’t be asking you without asking me too.”
“Ruby, that’s absolute bull,”
Her friend snorts, “I started to work there six months before you came along. He did not stop by and ask me once if I’m okay before you got there, Y/N. I never told you that, but I’m telling you now, it’s not his normal behaviour. He cares, and that’s just that. Take it or leave it. But maybe you’re so traumatized by Kevin, that you don’t really know what’s good if it hits you square in your face.”
“It’s just for show,” She mumbles, not entirely sure of her own words either.
“Why do you think Jack’s so hostile towards Dean, huh?” Ruby scoops sea water and drips it over herself to cool down, “I’ve met Jack several times, and think I know him a little, Y/N.”
“Oh, come on, leave Jack out of this,”
Ruby raises an eyebrow, “I won’t. Because you know why? Jack’s overprotective of you. He’s your little brother, he thinks that he has to look out for you. The only way he is like he is with Dean, is because he sees through him. Jack knows and that’s why he’s going to give Dean a hard time because he doesn’t want Dean to break your heart.”
Y/N sighs, “Ruby, it’s really just for show,”
“If you say so,” Ruby shrugs and chuckles to herself.
Ugh, she hates that. Is she really the only one who doesn’t know shit around here?
*
They’re waiting for Dean and Jack at the restaurant. Dean had called to say that they’ll be in a little later and that they should go ahead and he and Jack would catch up.
So far, there’s no sight of Amara yet. Sam hadn’t found her either. Could it be that they have already left or maybe they’re just really good at hiding in fucking bushes around here. She wouldn’t be surprised if they bugged everything just to hear one of them slip.
They have ordered drinks and were chatting away when Dean and Jack arrive, both freshly showered. Jack already has a little tan from fishing. He looks good. He looks genuinely happy and it’s a drastic change from the Jack that arrived here this morning.
The chair beside her is empty as well as the chair across from the empty chair, and she sees that both of the men were aiming for the one beside her and Jack got there first, but then Jack quickly changes his mind to let Dean sit next to her.
Dean takes a seat and leans in to kiss her cheek. She catches a whiff of his cologne and takes a deeper breath because it smells so good. By this stage, they have perfected their lovey dovey couple routine like Sam suggested on the first day, and Sam grins when he sees how natural they’re handling it.
When she looks up, Jack’s winks before he grins brightly.
She leans into Dean to whisper in his ears, “Who is that and what have you done to my brother?”
Dean has to chuckle at that, “We talked, everything’s fine.”
“No, seriously, what have you done? You exchanged him with a robot, didn’t you?”
He tilts his head towards her. Their noses almost touch, his hand comes up to cup her chin and he kisses her, smirks after he parts, “Baby, it’s okay. We talked it out. We’re good,”
She doesn’t quite trust Dean. Something doesn’t sit right with her but she doesn’t say anything. She’s got to find a time to talk to Jack in private but maybe not here because she never knows who could listen into them. She’ll have to do it as soon as they’re back home.
After the meal when they are waiting for dessert, Dean looks over to Jack, “You wanna tell them or shall I?”
“Tell us what?” Y/N frowns, already thinking of the worst. Thinking about Jack telling her that he drops out of college or some shit.
Jack grins, “Nothing bad, Y/N. Dean offered me an undergraduate work experience at his company.”
“Yeah, he’s gonna be looking into the company for three months, if he wants he can stay longer.” Dean says.
“And what did you say?” She asks her brother.
“Of course I said yes,” Jack’s smile widens, “That’s going to look awesome on my CV.”
She can’t find it in her heart to object. Not when her brother’s smile is so big.
*
The others went on to the bar but she decided to call it a day. She parts with her brother, telling him to behave or else Sam’s gonna beat his ass. Jack didn’t find it very funny, though. Dean insisted on going to the room with her, although she said that he doesn’t have to.
Back in their bungalow, they strip to their underwear and brush their teeth. She takes her time to wash her face and when she walks out, Dean’s already laying in bed. The AC needs some time to catch up and it’s too warm to pull the cover up.
Y/N slides into bed next to him, curls up to his side and Dean abandons his phone to wrap an arm around her.
Dean kisses the top of her head, “You okay?” His fingers of the hand around her strokes at her chest, goes down to her boob to pinch at her nipple. She yelps out a laugh and he laughs with her.
“Yeah,” She says, turning in Dean's grip to lay her cheek on his chest, “Thanks for talking to Jack. Although I’d like to know what you talked about.”
“If I’d tell you that, I’d have to kill you.”
“Of course,” She groans, and changes the subject because she’s not sure if she wants to know. She’s not entirely sure if the things that he’ll tell her won’t break her heart and for the time being while they’re still in paradise, she’d rather keep up the facade and continue to enjoy what they have, “You sure about the work experience thing for Jack?”
“I’m pretty positive. He’s a bright guy. I think he’ll be a great addition to the company.”
“And you’re not just saying it because you owe him.”
Dean breathes out a weak chuckle, “Well, that I do, too. But no, we got to talk about his studies and I trust my guts. I’ve never been wrong.”
She tilts her head up to raise her eyebrow at him.
“Hey, two or three people this year, it’s not much.” He’s talking about the people he fired.
“Twelve, Dean.”
“Yeah, well, but I did not interview any of them, so it’s not my fault my people don’t have good people reading skills.”
“Oh and you do?”
“I do.” He says, without even thinking. He’s so full of himself, it blows her mind.
“But I don’t know where Jack should stay for the whole summer. Like, my apartment is barely big enough for myself.” She’s only voicing her doubts. She’s sure that they would manage. Maybe she can go live with Ruby for a while.
Dean’s quick to jump in, “He can live with me,”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Dean chuckles, “I have plenty of space and maybe you can drop by every now and then,”
He’s really talking about life after the court date, isn’t he? Talks about her going back to her old life and they resume what they are not and occasionally going to social events together as a fake married couple. She really doesn’t want to think about it yet.
So, instead of spilling him all her doubts, she says, “Yeah, why not,”
Smiling, he pulls her on top of him and one of his hands goes around her waist while one of them tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as he kisses her. She likes that, likes his kisses. They make her forget everything around her. The touch of his tongue electrifies her. It makes her feel something tingling down there and she clenches around nothing.
Yes, it’s good, she decides. She’s going to enjoy the last couple of days. She’s going to take what she wants, fill her heart with only happy memories so she can take them out and relieve them whenever she feels down. Maybe if someone treats her bad, she’ll think back and know that there’s someone out there who could treat her like Dean does.
She kisses along Dean’s jawline, down his throat and he cranes his neck, giving her better access. His scruff feels rough on her tongue. Sucking down a path, she kisses his chest, licks at a couple of freckles and it’s tickling him because he’s chuckling. She works her way to his nipple and Dean moans a little when she sucks and tickles them with the tip of her tongue. Grinning, she works down his body, dips her tongue into his navel before she kisses down his happy trail until she’s slotted between his thighs.
Looking up at Dean, she sees him looking at her with hungry eyes, that are a shade darker than usual. She grins as she lowers her face and places a kiss on his hardened cock through his underwear. She licks a broad stripe across the fabric along his shaft, and he bites down his bottom lip, swallowing down a groan that wants to leave his mouth.
Hooking her fingers into the elastic of his underwear, she slowly pulls the fabric down. His hard cock springs up and hits her nose. She has to giggle and Dean’s biting back his laugh.
She sits up a little to get the underwear off his legs and slots herself back on her elbow in between his thigh, stays on her knees and sticks her ass out for the visual effect. Dean opens up so easily for her.
His dick is hard, and leaking a little at the tip, but she takes her time, her hands are on his thigh as she opens them up a little further. She plants little kisses on either side of his thigh, close to his balls and he groans some more.
“Tease,” She hears him say and chuckles at that.
Finally she plants a kiss on his sac, and begins to lick and suck him there. She still doesn’t touch his dick but she feels it twitching and it feels heavy on her nose and forehead. Her tongue works around one ball, sucks it in to release it with a lewd pop and then she goes further down, licks on the underside of his sac, and Dean opens up his legs some more, giving her better access.
She’s learned that trick from Ruby. She said men would not admit it but a whole lot of them like it. She always wondered if Dean does, and apparently, the answer’s yes.
Her hands lift up his legs, and he spreads them even more as she toys her tongue along his rim.
“Jesus fuck—”
Chuckling, she licks some more, his balls are resting on her nose. God, he tastes even good there.
Dean’s breathing hard above her and she moves further up again, taking his leaking tip into her mouth and starts to bob her head. She can’t take him to the hilt, but she really tries, gagging around his dick as tears start to pool in her eyes.
After a while she changes into normal sucking, works the hard lengths in her hand while she toys at the tip of his dick, paying attention to the sensitive string.
“Just like that,” He whispers low and deep, “Good girl, looking so good with my cock in your mouth, baby.”
At these words, she bobs her head a little faster, sucks a little harder and Dean has to pull her off abruptly, “Woah, not so fast,” He chuckles with a shudder, “Don’t wanna blow too soon.”
He pulls her up by her arm, kisses her roughly, all sloppy wet and he groans as he sucks his own taste off her tongue, “Come on, ride my face,” His fingers are already tearing at her panties, pulling them down and she stands up to step out of them. She kneels down and his hands quickly finds her pussy, threads his fingers through her folds and unceremoniously plunges two of his thick fingers inside, making her moan out loud while he latches at her tit to suck and bite at her nipple. Her hands find his head, fingers digging into his scalp.
“God, I want you inside,” She moans as his mouth licks a wet trail to her other nipple.
“I have to taste you first,” He groans with her nipple in his mouth, “Just a couple of licks, please? Fucking love how you taste,”
She’s awfully wet but she just got wetter hearing his words.
What is this man doing to her?
Dean lets the nipple out of his mouth with a smacking sound, and he breathes hard as he slides down the bed a little and maneuvers her on top of him.
Fuck, his mouth seals around her clit and he starts to lap at the juice around her cunt. His hands are on her boobs, kneading them and tweaking her nipples. It feels so good and she can’t help but grind down into his face. Dean doesn’t seem to mind because he’s humming. It sounds as if she’s the most delicious thing he’s ever eaten and the sound of it turns her on.
Y/N’s so close to coming but she can’t possibly come on his face, can she? She’ll make him all messy and— oh god, there’s no stopping the pleasure wave that rolls through her legs up to her cunt. She’s coming strong and hard, pushes her pussy down into Dean’s face and she’s almost falling off him if it wasn’t for his hands on her tits keeping her upright.
She climbs off him, sits square on his chest with her pussy still tingling and Dean laughs, his face shiny from her cum.
His smile is cocky, all bravado and boyish youth, “Told ya it wouldn’t take long,”
She rolls her eyes and he slaps on her ass, “Come on, ride me,”
Dean helps her move down because she doesn’t know if she can on her own with her body still trembling. But when she regains her composure, she lays his twitching dick down and spreads her wet pussy lips around it, grinding on his shaft. It gives her the right friction but apparently, he thinks she’s a goddamn tease.
Y/N gives in, slips his dick inside and sits down slowly, letting him stretch her wide and he groans at the squeeze. She’s always so much tighter after she comes and it would take her a little while for the cramping of her walls to go away.
Bracing her hands on his chest, she starts to ride him, and he helps her with his hands around her hips. She switches into grinding after a while and has to moan out loud at how deep he’s inside.
“You looks so good,” Dean’s hand works up her stomach, cups at her tits and twirls at her nipple, making her arch her back, “Fucking perfect,”
She feels her orgasm approaching again, because her clit rubs perfectly against his pelvis and his huge dick is in her fucking cunt, oh my god, she fucks him faster. She comes with a loud moan, pressing her legs together and Dean squeezes his eyes shut at the pressure, he pulls her down by her arms, crashing her lips to his as he grunts out into her mouth and he buckles his pelvis up, his dick throbs and twitches in her cunt.
“Fuck,” He breathes out against her mouth, kisses her there, and pecks her nose, “Fuck,” He repeats and he smiles at her.
*
They take another shower before they settle back into bed and Dean has already turned off the lights when his phone rings.
He takes it to look at the screen, “Chuck,”
CH18
#light my fire#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#ceo!dean winchester#dean winchester fic#dean winchester fan fic#dean winchester fan fiction
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Of The Valley (Joel x Reader)
Chapter 8: Only This and Nothing More
Summary: Life in Jackson is never easy. Consoling angsty teenagers, wading through the mysterious waters of Joel’s romance language and with a child of your own on the way? Life is about to get a lot harder.
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Tag list (comment to be added or removed) @sidepuff @joelsheartache e @fangirl-inthe-us @cowboyfrazer @scarletpines @mikah-writes @sleepylunarwolf f @mr-robot-x @shybookdragon @heughan @writer-jamie @nelliecraine
A/N: I’m so sorry for the later update.. I went on a vacation to Nashville (more like just helping my sister move in but I call it vacation).. I’m going to be a lot more busy next few months so updates will be not super often.
Anyways, a lot of this chapter is my own weird humor and poking fun at my own writing.. Reader is starting to sound like me when I’m at work or anyone bothers me while I’m at home lol.
Another mini update.. the main plot points of the story are pretty much already plotted. Ending is all set.. just how do I get there 🤔 I guess I’ll figure it out as I go.
Comments/likes/reblogs are super appreciated!
•••
You woke up early for work as usual, the sun would rise in a few hours. Not many jobs required such early hours — most starting as the sun rose but the bar needed extra hands before they opened. It was a much better pace for you, quick, a reminder to put on your strong face through the day and pretend everything was fine.
You had made yourself a nice breakfast, realizing your increased appetite throughout the past few months wasn’t because you were eating your sorrows away. It was better to remind yourself you were eating for two now anyways.
How long would it be before you really started showing? Who would notice first? You were already barely beginning to show.. if someone looked awfully close they could see that. You opted for a baggier shirt when you chose your outfit for the day. There was a sense of dread as you thought about having to tell your close friends, though Maria was the first to know, you doubted everyone else’s reaction would go as smoothly. It was foolish to think Maria would be anything less than supportive.
You thought about how you would have told Mark if he had been still alive. You wondered how he would react.. how Joel would react. How it would only put further strain on both of those relationships.
But how would Joel react now? You wanted to play it safely, while you didn’t regret telling Maria, you needed to be more careful. You had enough to explain to Joel as is, you didn’t want to tell him of your secret just yet.
Joel was angry with you, yet he had accepted an invite to the lake (even though he did owe you a trip back), it was progress. You would have to play it smart, let him know at the right time.
It was easier to warm up to the idea of having a baby after talking to Maria, it was reassuring. Perhaps it wouldn’t too difficult, especially while living in Jackson. And if you did decide you didn’t want to keep the baby, you were certain there were families willing to take the child in.
You managed to make it out of the door quickly, there was no twinge of nausea as you walked to the bar, that was welcoming. Exhaustion pulled at you, staying up to find Ellie had certainly taken a toll on you. You usually worked morning shifts, which meant you could leave and have the rest of the day for yourself.
Joel was probably getting ready to go out for patrol now, depending on what route he had. Ellie was probably sulking in her room — or asleep waiting for Maria to come knocking again. The teenagers who snuck out would definitely be talk of the town, especially if a group that large headed into the Courthouse.
Jackson was quiet, as it had been earlier in the night. Few lights were on, it was always particularly quiet this time in the morning. The autumn air was cool and refreshing, Halloween was creeping around the corner, so was the Autumn festival. Mark preferred the Autumn Festival over Halloween, it was a place holder for the broken arm incidents.
You wished he was here for it. Seasonal dances were always his favorite. He would pull you onto the dance floor after he begged the DJ to play Bill Withers. You missed his laughter, though it was being blurred as time went by.. you couldn’t exactly remember how his laugh sounded, or where the scar on his face started on his nose. It was haunting, forgetting Mark was like forgetting a part of yourself.
Mark was gone. That life you had with him was gone. There was a shell of a room in your house, his child growing inside of you, dog tags around your neck and a world turned upside down. Mark’s death was not something quiet in your life, and yet few people knew of it.
You remembered every second of his death, the running for your life, hiding and hoping it was enough. Watching him, silently from your hidden spot. The blood on the floor. The sound of a gunshot. It was something unforgettable, a memory forever ingrained into your mind in splitting detail. Sometimes the faint smell of copper would appear in your mind and it would make your head woozy. The nightmares rarely let up.
Mark would touch your life forever.. even beyond the grave he had left something behind. You weren’t sure whether to thank him or curse.
•••
Ellie figured she could sleep before hell broke loose. There was no point in staying up all night. She dreaded the morning, listening to Joel yell at her along with Maria, having to take the walk of shame into the Courthouse with the other teens, dealing with Cat and Dina. It was a pure mess.
Maria knocked on her door before sunrise, waking her up. Ellie groaned quietly and pulled herself out of bed, flicking the light on as the early morning light fell through her window. Her head was aching from last night’s adventure.
She opened the door for Maria, Maria didn’t wait for an invitation to enter, she walked in.
“Punishment has changed, you’re only getting the same punishment as the rest of the teenagers. Seems like you owe Y/N a favor,” Maria told Ellie.
Ellie’s brow furrowed in confusion before she realized.
“Y/N asked me to go easier on you, so I did,” She explained non chalantly.
“Wow, well thank you,” Ellie said, surprised, she was relieved.
“You should thank Y/N.”
“I will,” Ellie nodded. It was silent for a few seconds.
“Look, I’m sorry about last night. I was upset and drunk,” She apologized.
“I know. It still wasn’t right for you to go outside the wall, you know the rules,” Maria said softly to the girl. It was going smoother than Ellie had expected.
“I just.. wanted to get away from everything for a night,” Ellie said to Maria. Maria wasn’t surprised.
“I understand. It still wasn’t the best course of action though,” Maria said thoughtfully, though she was disappointed.
“Yeah, I know,” Ellie replied, shame hinting in her voice.
“Joel’s already up, he has a shorter route today so he didn’t have to get up so early,” Maria explained to her. Ellie could feel the dread grow in her as she glanced out the window, the lights were on inside. She barely went over to his house these days, barely even said much to him, avoiding Joel as much as she could. She had things to figure out, Joel being around her would only confuse things further. It hurt having such a strain with someone she looked up to, but Joel was keeping the truth from her.
“Come on,” Maria said, motioning for Ellie to follow her as she exited Ellie’s room. There was frost on the grass, and a chill swept through the morning air.
Maria knocked on Joel’s back porch, Joel’s footsteps were loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door. Joel opened the door, looking confused to see both Maria and Ellie standing outside.
“Maria?” He asked, glancing over to Ellie as well, his brow raised.
“Can we come in?” Maria replied. Ellie stood to the side, praying this would be over quickly. Joel opened the door for them, they entered into his kitchen. Joel’s house felt foreign to be in, like entering a stranger's home, as if she was intruding. And yet it still felt familiar — like it was a hidden memory locked away from years of repressed thoughts, barely recognizable.
Joel leaned against the kitchen counter, waiting for Maria. Ellie averted her gaze to the floor as Maria began.
“Ellie snuck out last night with a group of teenagers,” Maria told Joel.
Joel’s face was unreadable until he spoke, looking over to Ellie. “What?” He said, his voice bubbling with disbelief and harshness.
“She snuck out. Got drunk too,” Maria explained, both of them staring at the teenager.
“Have you any idea what is out there? Have you forgotten what it’s like?” Joel scolded, anger and disappointment lacing his words. Ellie flinched at his voice.
“Am I not allowed to have fun anymore?” Ellie scoffed back with defiance, throwing her hands up in the air in protest.
“What you did was reckless and stupid, you know the risks,” Joel said, his face contorted in anger.
“Like there’s even any infected near town.” Ellie rolled her eyes.
“Ellie,” Maria replied firmly, shooting her a look.
“There are a thousand things that could have gone wrong. You shouldn’t have gone out there.” Joel was disappointed in Ellie.
“People do it all the time, why am I getting flamed for it now, huh?”
“Because you got caught,” Maria said.
“You only care when it has something to do with me. Y/N and Dina snuck out and you didn’t give two shits about them!” Ellie felt her head growing hot, her words fueled by anger.
Joel was surprised to hear that you had gone, a sense of worry flooding through him, why had you gone out as well?
“Y/N and Dina were looking for you,” Maria reminded her.
Ellie was silent, the tension was thick in the kitchen and Joel was burning holes in her head with his eyes.
“She’s getting the same punishment the rest of the party goers are getting, they’re going to the courthouse when the sun rises,” Maria explained to Joel.
“Take her off patrol for a month since she’s gotten too comfortable with being outside,” Joel said coldly.
“Sure,” Maria said. She was fine with that punishment.
Ellie’s mouth was agape. “That’s bullshit! You said you weren’t taking me off patrol!” She shouted to Maria.
“I said I wasn’t anymore. I’m leaving the rest to Joel.”
“It’s final, Ellie. You made a stupid mistake and now you have to pay the price for it,” Joel said. There was no debate, but Ellie would put up a protest.
“That’s such bullshit,” Ellie scoffed, storming out of Joel’s house, slamming the door behind her. Joel stood in the kitchen, feeling the rift pull them further and further away.
“I’ll go get her,” Maria grumbled, becoming increasingly annoyed at Ellie.
“No, let her go,” Joel sighed, feeling a tension headache coming on.
“I don’t know what’s been getting into her lately,” Maria replied, leaning her back on the counter next to Joel.
Joel grunted softly, “I’m trying, I am.”
“I know Joel, I think whatever is going on with Ellie she needs to figure it out herself.”
•••
The morning rush was annoying as ever. You were barely able to sit or even have a moment of rest, it seemed another customer walked through the door each time you even leaned against the back counter. But it was nice, busy work, it kept your mind off things and it was a constant reminder of how to socialize with people. It kept your mind off the horde coming to town, the baby, Joel, Ellie, practically everyone.
As the sun rose mid way through your shift, you saw the crowd of teenagers meet outside the Courthouse. You spotted Ellie and Cat, on opposite sides of the crowd. The people in the bar noticed too, perking up as they saw Maria and the rest of the Council members show up. Some people cracked jokes, some people muttered to each other, but as they went into the building the chatter died down. You wondered what the punishment was going to be. At least you managed to get Ellie no sentence from Maria, you also wondered how Joel handled things.
Joel was probably out on patrol by now, Tommy wasn’t with him, you wondered who he had gone out on patrol with then. You were almost always assigned with Mark — occasionally Joel. But usually Mark. The head of patrol usually kept you two together considering you were roommates, wanting to keep the same schedule.
A large group came into the bar and you groaned inwardly, cursing yourself and your job. Dina and Jesse were a part of the group. The crowd dispersed and went to their own tables, Dina making a beeline towards you
“Hey,” She smiled at you, sitting down at the bar. It wasn’t uncommon for Dina to stop by.
“How’s it going? Group patrol today?” You asked, wiping down the bar.
She nodded, “Yeah, we came in for breakfast before we went out. We have a long route today so Jesse wanted to make sure we all ate.”
“How are things between you and him?” Dina had mentioned they were having some issues last night.
“I haven’t really talked to him about us. He knows about Ellie, he’s pissed at her for not inviting him but he thinks it’s funny she got caught,” She rolled her eyes. You were glad someone here was making advancements in their relationships instead of hitting a brick wall — or multiple.
“Ellie’s at the Courthouse right now, I saw her with the crowd that went inside.”
“Yeah.. hopefully I’ll be able to catch her later tonight, try to smooth things over.”
“Good idea. Who else is patrolling today?”
“Joel, I know is, not sure who else I’ll have to look at the gate logbooks. You know you should really think about coming back to patrol, I miss seeing your’s and Mark’s messages next to the logbooks,” Dina replied, she wasn’t attempting to persuade you like Maria was.
“You know I was convinced no one ever read the Adventures of a Town Crackson, Mark isn't convinced though,” You laughed, remembering his silly stories and messages he would leave for others to find. The piles of sticky notes he left next to logbooks told a story, the story went that he would make mini comics out of old sticky notes and leave them around lookouts for people to read, you would have to visit them all in a certain order to understand. The Adventures of a Town Crackson was a parody of Jackson, except the main character, Lame Lane was a superhero on a revenge quest to kill the evil mastermind Mister Jacobsonithia, who had wronged him years before by killing those close to Lame Lane. It was both a bizarre and funny story.
“Oh no, that story is practically famous! Mark left us on a cliffhanger at Volume.. what was it.. 13th? The one where Lame Lane breaks into Jacobsinthia’s fortress and finds him! Right when Lame finally faces the bastard!” Dina excitedly rambled. Mark would have loved to talk about his story with Dina, you were glad at least someone had read what he called his masterpiece.
You simply stood and smiled bittersweetly, listening to Dina talk about Mark’s story.
“You really have to convince Mark to come back to patrol, I want to read the end of the story!” She said finally as you put her meal in front of her.
You shrugged, “I don’t know if he’s thought of an ending yet.”
•••
Later in the day, someone knocked on your door. You had been getting so many visitors lately.. you wondered who was there and what the hell they wanted. You had ate more of the cookies Maria brought over last night, they were good. You wanted something salty or sour to balance out the sweetness, like pretzels or pickles. Maybe both. You were mid way through your second cookie when someone knocked.
You got up quickly, grumbling the entire time underneath your breath. You were damn tired of leaving your town, socializing, looking for a teenager and having to take orders all day. You just wanted to eat cookies and collapse in bed.
Ellie was at the door surprinsgly.
“Ellie, hey,” You said, opening the door to let her in, closing the door as she entered.
“Hey.”
“What brings you here?” You asked, wondering why Ellie had suddenly shown up at your door.
“I just wanted to say thanks for having my back and letting Maria drop my punishment,” She said sincerely, even though her words seemed hard to get out.
“Of course, it’s the least I can do,” You replied.
“Joel still took me off patrol for a month,” Ellie rolled her eyes at the thought.
“He can do that?”
“Maria let him,” She said, sucking in a breath.
“I’m sorry, that sucks,” You told her.
She rocked on her feet, swaying gently back and forth. “Yeah,” She mumbled.
“Have you talked to Cat or Dina?”
She perked up at your question, “Cat’s still pissed at me and Dina’s out on patrol today so no.”
“How did Joel handle things?”
Ellie shrugged, not wanting to discuss the topic.
“Okay by the way, how was the Courthouse?” You changed the subject. The Courthouse was never fun.. it was where the Town Council did all of the planning for Jackson, assignments and occasionally hearings/punishments.
“Council put us all on clean up duty for the festival and nine pm curfew for the next two months,” She sighed.
“What assignment are you going to take in the meantime?”
“I don’t know, maybe trading post,” She said unthrillingly. There weren’t many open assignments that were anything but a bore. At least people at the trading post got to talk with others from outside of Jackson, though you weren’t sure it was Ellie’s style. You could see her on wall duty, though there were rarely open spots. Ellie likes kids, but you weren’t sure she could handle screaming toddlers for days on end, the daycare was a no go.
“How about the farms or gardening?”
“Do I look like a gardener to you?” She joked.
You shook your head humorously, “No, but I could see you in overalls and maybe a big farmers hat.”
“Fair enough,” She smirked.
“Oh, since you’re here did you want to get the Walkman tapes and the records?” You remembered promising her Mark’s old collection.. though you were sure you wouldn’t be able to give away his favorites, it would be far too cruel.
“Yeah sure, is Mark here right now?” She asked, glancing past you to the hallway.
“Oh, uh no, he’s not but he won’t mind, trust me,” You replied. Lying about Mark’s whereabouts was something you were getting good at. Of course, you knew exactly where he was and where he would be for all of eternity.
Ellie nodded, excited to hear some more tapes.
“I’ll go get them from his room, I’ll be right back.”
Walking back to his room, twice in less than twenty four hours.. it was insane. You weren’t even sure you could ever go into that room again and here you were, walking back up those same steps to his loft, feeling his dog tags jingle with every step, twisting the doorknob open and being inside of his room.
The room that felt lifeless. It felt wrong to take anything from out of his room.. like it was a scene forever stuck in a piece of history and you were disrupting it. But his things would have to go eventually, Ellie would appreciate his records. You were sure she would.
And yet a thought struck you.. would your child want something to remember their father by? Was giving away his records the best course of action? For months you wanted to get rid of everything that reminded you of him.. and yet you wanted to keep things. To have something to remember him by. The Walkman tapes would go untouched for years.. and you would only keep Mark’s favorite records — you were sure Ellie wouldn’t take too many of them regardless.
Bill Withers, Motley Crüe, Green Day and Queen records were all off limits. Mark would come back from the dead and knock some sense into you if you gave away any of those.
But there were others you were sure Ellie would appreciate.. Pearl Jam, The Sleek Habit.. or whatever the hell it was called. It was Mark’s favorite thing to collect — records, it seemed like he could listen to one album a day and still not have listened to them all by the time he turned eighty. At least he kept them ordered by genre, it made your life easier to pick out a few boxes. The boxes of records under his bed, in his closet, next to his dresser. You found his Walkman tapes in a small drawer on his bedside table, he didn’t have quite as many.
You decided on bringing Ellie, punk rock, folk music and alternative. Plus Mark’s entire collection of tapes.
Somehow, you managed to bring them all down to her. Her eyes lit up at the sight of them, you set the boxes down on the kitchen table.
“Take as many as you want, just let me see them first, otherwise Mark might get mad I’ve given away his favorites,” You said to her as she began flicking through the boxes.
She picked out a few she liked, luckily they weren’t all that memorable to Mark, or at least what you had remembered, you weren’t sure you had the heart to tell her to put any of his favorites away though if she had managed to pick out one of his favorites.
“Find the ones you were looking for?” You asked her as she picked all the records and tapes up.
“Yeah, Mark’s got a big collection, I even found Shawn James and Crooked Still,” She smiled, the sparkle returning to her face. You were glad Mark’s love of music had made her happy, he could pass on gifts even beyond the grave.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Tell Mark I say thanks. I’m really sorry, I have to bounce, I think Dina might be home by now, seriously though, thanks again for getting me off the hook,” She said to you, her sincerity apparent. There was still uneasiness between you and her.. as there was with almost everyone, and yet things were starting to look brighter and brighter.
You nodded, bidding her farewell for the rest of the day, a pang of remembrance hitting your heart, as if things were slowly and yet surely returning to what normal felt like months ago. Even if a large part of your life was missing from it.. things were starting to look up. It felt almost wrong to be happy after months of grief and isolation, you felt guilty for allowing yourself to step back into the light, but you were happy things were starting to look better. Mark would have liked you to be happy, that was certain.
•••
Another knock on the door, another interrupted hour. The sun had set by then, you were done with dinner and were watching a movie you had found. You had a nice candle flickering too, the people of Jackson were awfully crafty, it was one of the few commodities that you regularly sought out, Mark had his candy and records, you had candles. Your house was starting to feel more lively again.
You opened the door to see Joel standing on the other side. You were definitely surprised to see him.
“Joel,”
“Hello, can I come in?” He asked.
“Sure,” You said, opening the door for him. Your porch light illuminated the dead flowers hanging from the roof.. you had been meaning to take those downs.
“Don’t worry, Mark’s not here,” You said to him as he entered.
Joel nodded as he glanced around your house. Not much had changed since the last time he had been there.
“Been awhile huh?” You asked.
“Yep. Been some time.”
“Any reason you decided to stop by?” You asked.
“I wanted to thank you for looking out for Ellie,” Joel began.
“Of course. I would have gotten you if we wouldn’t have found her, I just didn’t want to wake you up,” You explained.
“Yeah, I get that. I’m glad you’re looking out for her though.. I know you don’t like being outside Jackson anymore.”
“I didn’t want anything to happen to Ellie,” You shrugged.
“She’s not happy with what I told her. Not that I’m surprised though. I’m disappointed in her, I thought she knew better.”
“She’s a teenager, Joel. Teenagers are allowed to make mistakes,” You said.
“She still needs to be reminded of what’s out there.”
“Not arguing with you on that,” You replied softly.
It was silent for a few moments, “So.. about our trip to the lake,” He began again.
Your eyes lit up at the thought, “Oh! Yeah, right, I shoot the infected, you take me to the lake, that’s how it went, or maybe you still owe me a trip back,” You reminded him.
“I do still owe you,” He smiled.
That day.. so much had happened in such a small period of time, everything felt like a blur.
“You do. But I was thinking we could skip the lake and maybe.. you would want to come with me to the Halloween party?” You asked, almost shyly.
Joel smiled as he scratched his beard, “Are you asking me on a date?”
“Maybe?” You blushed lightly.
“It’s a yes or no question, Y/N,” He teased.
“Yes. It’s a yes, I’m asking you on a date.” Three months of no contact and here you were asking Joel on a date.. you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or cry. Damn you, hormonal imbalances.
“Then yes, I’ll take you to the party.” He nodded.
“A date it is then,” You said happily.
“Are you sure you’re not sick anymore though?” He asked playfully.
“I'm not , maybe it was just something I ate that day,” You shrugged, lying through your teeth. You knew what came over you, and you weren’t sure how exactly that would ever come up in conversation with Joel.. how would he even react to that? The longer you waited.. the harder it would be.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Me too. Hopefully it wasn’t Tommy’s stew.”
“At least it wasn’t mine.”
Joel left shortly after that, you were still smiling as he left. There were still questions, and there were answers you needed to give, but at least it wasn’t as rocky as it had been a few days ago. Maybe it was easy to heal.. or maybe the circumstances were making it easier. Or maybe it was just time to start living your life again, a new life that mirrored your last, but in an entirely new way.
It was a fresh start. You put your hand on your small bump, barely noticeable as you sat down on the couch. Your knees weak and your smile wide. Maybe it was time.
•••
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