#the tumblr giveth and the tumblr taketh away | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

absolutebl · 1 year ago

Text

Wedding Plan Trash Watch!

You ready to snuffle-kiss the burn?

Before I start...

Find out about Mame and the Mameverse here.

Find my other trash watches of her and others here.

We all know what we are getting in for, 7 episodes of BLduggery. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.

Episode 1 - In which I craft an ode to Dumpster Fires Everywhere

I am sorry, but they opened with Battle Hymn of the Republic for PrapaiSky’s wedding? I busted out laughing.

Also, you KNOW I can’t just let that go.

Ready?

LET’S SING! (Bet you’d never thought I’d type those words).

Battle Hymn of BL Tumblr

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the trash This is barely even BL it’s just Mame writing slash She hath set ablaze such garbage in pursuit of all our cash But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Mame hit us with a sewer. Spoiling all our fun, Oh the shit storm has begun, But the trash watch must go on!

I have seen the dumpster-fires of a hundred BL tropes She will sacrifice her ukes ’til they’ve lost all of their hopes We will watch in righteous anger while the refuse burns and smokes But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Life’s rough for a BL reviewer. When OG BL fans run afoul of Mame stans But the trash watch must go on!

Buh buh buh buh!

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here for the next 7 weeks. Yes some of my rhyming conventions are awkward af but I never claimed to be a filker. Now where was I?

Oh YES,

STILL AT THE VERY BEGINNING.

Where have I seen this seme before? Oh! Top Secret Together.

Micky D sponsorship? Nice. I’m impressed.

Too many sound effects, abort! Is that the sound tech from Lovely Writer I sniff? Someone please fire his ass. Yes, it must be him. Only a straight dude misuses buttons like that.

I feel Nuea’s pain I too hate the gym.

This better not be in one of those situations where after instalove our seme arranges for the wedding planner boy he likes to plan his own wedding so that he can marry him at the end.

Lots of pronouns going astray in that sentence, but you get my meaning.

Drag baby around. Locker room. Kabeldon

Honestly? And this is not usually a criticism I lob at Mame ( I know is there anything I have lobbed at her?) but the leads seem a bit stiff and uninspired.

It is just me?

Episode 2 - What’s this? Oh is that boredom?

What are these boys in these office BLs doing behind their desks on those computers? They never actually seem to be working at all. They’re like brochure stock art ads for boys on computers.

I had to skip most of the humiliating stuff with the food in the car and whatever was going on because… aargh.

They keep ordering food in this episode of nobody’s eating it. And it looks really good and I’m hungry and this is very upsetting to me.

Lom is just totally jerking Nuea around. Just tell him what your relationship is with the bride.

There’s no need to be so fucking coy about it.

I love the flaming yelling fit from Nuea tho.

It was also a good kiss.

But that’s what we expect from a Mame.

Mame giveth and mame taketh away.

Somewhat dull episode frankly. Even with the kiss.

Sigh. What have I become?

Episode 3 - WHAT IS THIS? There is nothing about this episode that pleased me even a tiny bit. Except Noel’s hair. But that wasn’t part of the script.

Buckle up, I got A LOT to say.

It’s a pleasure to welcome you back to your normal and expected ABL meets Mame interface where... ABL LOSES THEIR TINY MIND.

Right on schedule it feels like.

Ready?

Oh who am I kidding, you sadists life for this shizz. And you can’t tell me you don’t.

Lom is so frustrating.

I wanna punch him too. Sing it, sister!

Random water sports. (And not of the kind one might expect from Mame. Stop it. You know she would go there. She’d think it was edgy.)

Peeps!

We need a name for when a BL reviews itself.

It keeps happening.

Should you tell him everything?

Yes.

1000 times yes.

I’m basically screaming it at the screen.

TELL HIM!!!!

You tricked him into a date without telling him a single thing about what’s actually going on. Are you insane?

What the hell.

You keep kissing him but he is planning your wedding. How fucked up are you? You monster

A Mame show calling out its own exploitive sexism is so fucking awkward.

Mame. Sweetheart. Snookums. Sugarbeans. Shaken-baccon. You don’t have enough fucking talent to go meta. Leave it to the better BLs to follow trends. Your shizz is old fashioned and that’s why people like it. Don’t try to be classy, it makes this whole shit show just look even more shabby.

Poor baby.

Now he’s doubting himself completely.

What are these assholes doing to you?

Come with me.

I’m going to transport you to this other terrible BL trash watch happening right now, where there is a LOVELY adorable boy named Max and I think you would be perfect together.

So it’s basically just Narnia-level closet cases we are dealing with here?

THAT’S IT?

THAT’S THE EXCUSE FOR THIS LEVEL OF MANIPULATION?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

Nuea is such a cutie.

I want to punch Lom all over again.

Noel looks v pretty as a blond.

The proposal sequence was unnecessary. But at least I don’t wanna punch anyone.

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE for lying. For manipulation. For not understanding how you’re betraying another person’s faith in himself.

Especially not if you’re in the position of power: social, cultural, employer.

Why doesn’t Mame EVER understand this?

You can’t have a character that is sincere and earnest in love and yet entirely lacking in all forms of integrity.

This is driving me crazy.

No one is in the show is as crazy as this show is making me.

I started this episode wanting to punch Lom, and I’m ending this episode wanting to punch Lom.

That’s a mame plot for ya.

No character development at all, on any side of the screen.

And someone, mostly me, is always left with a mad desire to punch something.

Frankly, I kinda want to punch the screen.

Episode 4 - I Am Going to Start Drinking

I like consent especially when “no” is activated. But this being Mame she shoe horns it in and then the seme ignores it.

It’s so awkward. She’s actually incapable of making any non-problematic tropes sexy. It’s like there is only one lane for her shows and that lane is...

the WORST

My “Punch Lom in the face 2023” campaign continues.

I don’t see how he can ever become a sympathetic character. He just trundles along lying by omission (when speaking up would make everything better). I hate him.

I’m glad we get to see Nuea suffering, now show Lom what he has done and make him lose the boy.

No? No.

Instead Lom gets rewarded with sex for being a sleazy lying gutless jerk? Well terds to both you fine gentlemen.

I mean, very gay of you, Nuea sweetie.

“Because just SOOOO hot” being the #1 excuse in my personal “I slept with WHAT?” experience. (Heh, to be fair I’m often the WHAT? in that equation. I live to be someone’s bad mistake... just not Lom-level-bad.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Gaga has the sex scene. FYI. Came outta nowhere, that sex scene did. Very disjointed... not that kind of joint. Not that kind either.

It’s not a particularly impressive sex scene, which is disappointing. Because WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE WATCHING?

I mean, if you’re going to have your characters (and by extension us) forfeit all integrity and taste in order to watch your stupid show, the least you could do is give us decent chemistry.

I’m not saying this is worse than LITA but at least LITA was hot.

It wasn’t anything else. But it was hot.

This this is

not hot.

In conclusion: if Nuea’s baby bro doesnt’t punch Lom in the face next week I will have to start drinking on Weds...

oh wait!

BMF ends this Friday! I can switch to drinking mid week!

YES

(I have a new rule: only one BL a week is allowed to drive me to drink in any give rotation.)

Imma preemptively point out that I am aware that bearding and lavender marriages are still quite common all over the world. I would whole heartedly support a good depiction of it. (Even one where it stays fix in the beard position.) This is NOT a good depiction.

I shall draw your attention to 2017′s rarely discussed (not really BL) We Are Gamily out of... you guessed it... Taiwan. You can argue with me about this only AFTER you have watched that.

Okay, back to the trash watch.

Episode 5 - I Neglected to Drink and that was a Mistake

Ate a lot of crap traveling home today (feel gross) + tumblr new desktop UX has me pissed + Mame & alcohol? I’m not sure I’d survive. So no alcohol.

Here we go.

Poor Nuea feels so guilty.

Please save me from ever feeling that way after sex. *shudder*

Before you ask, to the best of my knowledge, I have never slept with a married person. I’ve slept with married people... married to each other mind you... but I hope that makes it clear everyone was consensual. (I recommend it, by the way. Being a unicorn is lots of fun.)

Where was i?

We were dealing with punching Lom not my misspent youth.

(looks at calendar. wait, that was last month.)

PUNCH LOM 2023!

Queen!

I love her.

It wasn’t a physical punch but a verbal one is almost as good. (And can be more damaging in the long run.)

Could we please still have an actual punch?

Pretty please?

Mame punches her characters all the time. And no character ever deserved a punching more than Lom.

I do wish there was a nice boy back home to scoop Nuea up.

That line of boys wanting him, could we see it, not be told it?

I do like the random sinshine hyung side couple.

Omg. COLD MICKY D?!

That might just be the most objectionable moment in this whole show.

And that’s a tall order.

Pun intended.

(straight, HA! pun not intended but still very much THERE)

Was I pleased we got multiple characters who are just outright gay? Yes.

But representation has not been one of Mame’s issues.

I mean Tharn was one of the first openly gay seme leads in a Thai BL, and she also had rep for lube and condoms in that show. That’s not the issue with TharnType. Or Mame.

Her issues tend to revolve around story structure and audience manipulation.

Was I pleased that Nuea knew what was going on? Yes, I’m glad he’s not totally clueless.

I still want Lom to be punched in the face and I’m still mad at this show.

Episode 6 - Too hot to drink, still a Mistake

I finally figured out my real problem with Lom. It’s not that he was closeted and manipulative without good reason (although he is). It’s not that he lied and strung Nuea along for a lot longer than was necessary (because he did). It is that he basically does everything for himself and his own ends. Even when he’s confessing his love it comes off as flat because it isn’t about Nuea and what Nuea wants or needs, it’s about Lom wants.

Hanging a lampshade on it doesn’t make it right.

It was good bridge kiss. And car kiss. And sex kisses.

There is something corrupted grunge romantic asking the person you love most in the world to hide that love and climb back into the closet with you for the sake of your nasty arse family (is that a queer taboo, hum). I’m not saying lavender marriages are necessarily wrong, I’m just saying it’s an interesting plot twist in a BL.

I think we HAVE to hold this up and examine it in stark contrast to the final ep of Bad Buddy. It’s interesting how the closet retreat didn’t bother me at all in BB, and I thought it was quite a clever and elegant ending twist. Whereas here it’s just annoying. It’s not making me as angry as it probably should. But it is annoying as a narrative conceit and denouement.

Can I ask a question.

It’s not a serious question, of course.

What is up with all of the shows this year having dates on lakes featuring that thing where you ride a funny little floaty-boat while being dragged behind a fast boat. I’m sure it has a name, but I could not care less. New sponsor?

The sex scene was fine. But I have to say, I wish they had leaned into the fact that Lom is a virgin and Nuea has more experience. It would’ve been a really interesting dynamic to see honestly represented on screen.

In conclusion, Nuea is a saint and next week everything comes to a head that didn’t already get head this episode.

Episode 7 - Finally I’m drinking!

I am having a tiki beverage this evening to round out this show. Coconut rum and mango popping Boba are involved. Don’t judge. I have the alcohol palate of a 7 year old.

I’m ready! Let’s shave this beard!

And, well, that was a pink saturated drama of the mothers in law. Enjoyable lakorn style scenery chewing. The ladies seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Lom pretending to be sad and pitiful. Also funny.

Using his evil against his mom is acceptable. Suddenly his manipulative lying ways are working in the right direction.

Honestly?

This was a fine ending, I’m not mad at it.

They managed to keep Lom in character until the end, he remained deceitful. I would never trust him, but clearly Nuea is willing to ride that dragon.

I guess 7/10?

If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

But, frankly? Lom as a character would sit better amongst the drama bananas of Only Friends.

In summation:

A lackluster Mame offering with less of her usual stellar chemistry, but all of her usual manipulation. An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursues him, even though he’s about to marry someone else.

(source)

#The Wedding Plan #wedding plan the series #Thai BL #ABL trash watches BL #trash watches #trash watching mame #save me from myself #trash watch #thai drama #thaibl #save me from mame #can't stope the trash watch

168 notes · View notes

therenlover · 9 months ago

Text

Put Me Back In It (I Would Do It Again) Chapter Seven: Giveth and Taketh Away

Pairings: Tav/Raphael, Tav/Raphael/Haarlep, Raphael/Haarlep, Past!Astarion/Tav

Word Count: 6,400~

Synopsis: After some time to think, Tav accepts what she's always wanted, deep down. Raphael and Haarlep are happy to oblige.

Rating: E (+18)

Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, Temporary Character Death, Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics

Tags: Threesome, Imprisonment, Emotional Manipulation, Making Love, Vaginal Sex, Unreliable Narrators, Memory Loss, Love Triangle (Maybe Even A Love Venn Diagram At This Point)

You can find this fic on AO3 Here or find the other finished chapters on Tumblr Here

--------

Tav had plenty of time to think before Raphael came to collect her.

She was grateful for it. There were quite a few things on her mind she needed to parse through before facing him again. It wouldn’t have done her any good to go into their inevitable discussion about the party and everything that had happened after without being fully prepared. Still, he could’ve come a bit sooner, if it had been up to her.

Seeing Haarlep helped the time go by. The incubus came down twice a day like clockwork to change out her food, begrudgingly clean the chamberpot with a quick prestidigitation, and treat her to some small talk. Tav appreciated the reserved, polite conversation that broke up the monotony of her imprisonment. Once things were back to normal, whatever that meant, she hoped the easy companionship they’d built could be repaired. Things were bound to be easier once the looming threat was dealt with.

The threat, though… that concept was difficult for Tav to wrap her head around as were the potential outcomes, even with all the time in the world to grapple with things.

In the night she’d press her ear against the cool stone of the cell wall, waiting to hear the crashing reverberations of combat. They never came. As the days passed Tav was almost disappointed when she was greeted by silence on the other side of the wall, but not because she wanted to escape or see her former friends again. No. She just wanted all of this to be over.

Thankfully, things wouldn’t last much longer. The party’s arrival couldn’t be far away now, given all the time that had passed. As long as Haarlep had passed her message along to the master he could clear everything up with her former party and things could go back to the way they were. The way they should be.

She could curl up in his stupidly soft bed with a bowl of fruit and one of the innumerable fluff novels he kept around for her before luring him into the sheets beside her, if only to feel the sensation of warm skin-on-skin again. How had she ever spent months sleeping on the ground in her threadbare bedroll? She’d only been in the cell for a few weeks and yet she couldn’t wait to be off of her straw-stuffed mat and back on a real down mattress.

When Raphael did come to her, she half expected him.

Haarlep was late with her bowl (she’d been upgraded from oat slop to stew as soon as they’d considered her capable of not purposefully choking herself on a carrot) and with every minute that passed she became more and more certain that the day was finally here. She waited with a somehow eager patience on the edge of her cot, letting the hours drift past without moving a finger.

Then she heard the footsteps pause in the hallway.

Tav gripped the thin fabric and pressed herself into the cot. He really had come. Any lingering doubts about her own devotion slipped from her mind.

Raphael opened the wooden cell door without knocking or announcing himself. His eyes glanced about the room until he found her waiting. She greeted him with a smile. He almost… winced.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” Tav murmured, tone plain and unshaken, taking in every glorious inch of him. Her savior. His skin was still damp from a bath and his nails looked freshly manicured. Still, he looked as he ever did: infallible from head to toe. His eyes similarly raked over her, taking in her hunched features with a measured fascination.

Shame she hadn’t had the chance to freshen up before he saw her.

Raphael gave her his best stern look but somewhere beyond the storm, his eyes were soft. “I assume you’ve pulled yourself together now that you’ve had time to cool down, little mouse,” He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling the half-wet strands. There was something almost boyish in the stubborn man as he leaned against the door frame, filled with a natural charisma that both soothed her and set her teeth on edge. It reminded her of how he’d looked the night she first set her hands on the Orphic Hammer in Sharess’ Caress. He’d had the air of someone who knew they’d already won the game before his opponent even knew it began.

“No need for groveling and apologies, I’ve decided to forgive your transgressions out of the goodness of my heart. What do you say?”

“Thank you,” she replied, and she meant every crooked, breathy syllable.

The devil let out an unexpected laugh. “There. Was that so hard?”

She pasted that eager smile back on and shook her head. It hadn’t been hard at all. Why had she found it so hard before?

There was an easy familiarity between them that Tav took for granted before. They fell into their roles as easy as she breathed. It was different than it had ever been, though, strangely comfortable as she contorted to him and his whims without a hint of shame hiding in her chest. She wanted this. She wanted him. There was no reason to feel guilty for that! Not now that she knew the truth.

It had been her choice to stay at his side all along.

Neither of them mentioned how things ended between them the last time they’d spoken. Instead, Raphael glazed past it as if it were a one-off argument that hadn’t held any weight at all in the grand scheme of things. Knowing there was no more left to say about it… it was the sweetest relief she could’ve possibly imagined.

Tav pushed herself up from her cot, smoothing the innumerable wrinkles in her cotton nightgown as she stood on steady feet.

“If you’re ok with it, could I go back up to the house with you and take a bath? Please? Or maybe just get a change of clothes, if that’s too much?” It took no effort to pull her gaze away from him and focus on the lines between the stones of the floor. Her eyes followed their twisting paths. They ran anywhere but to him and the waiting expression on his face. “I know I’ve given you absolutely no reason to trust me, but I promise I just…” her voice broke, “I just want to feel clean.”

She could hear Raphael hum in consideration before letting her eyes dart up toward him just long enough to catch his pensive gaze. He looked troubled. Oh, how dare she cause him trouble!

“Never mind, I’m so sorry. I just-”

“I suppose I could allow it,”

Cool, blissful relief flooded Tav’s chest.

Raphael came a few paces closer as he spoke, sizing her up. “Only if I join you, though. For your safety, of course. We wouldn’t want a wandering bat to creep their way in and snatch you up while my back is turned, now would we?” His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he came toe to toe with her.

Tav’s heart thrummed. Her head spun. She batted wet eyes at the floor again, as innocent as the lamb but begging for his sweet slaughter.

“I missed you,” She whispered.

“Of course you did,” Raphael shook his head. “What would you do without me? I can’t exactly say the feeling is reciprocated. You can’t imagine how much work I’ve been able to complete without you there to distract me,”

An involuntary shudder slammed its way through Tav’s body. Somehow, though, she stayed sturdy through the chill. That sturdiness only threatened to disappear when Raphael’s arm shot out to steady her against his body.

She leaned into the warmth like a dog.

“I’m sorry. I can stay here if it’s better for you, as long as you visit sometimes. Or not, you don’t have to. I just want what you want. I want whatever is best for you,”

“Tav, I...” He laughed again, breathy and troubled, but she couldn’t focus on it, not when he had just said her name. It sat so beautifully in his voice. Nobody else could have said her name so tenderly if they’d tried. “Can I tell you something, just between the two of us?”

“Of course. Anything.”

The devil leaned in, placing his lips close to the sensitive shell of her ear. His breath was a gust of chimney-hot smoke on her skin. “I did miss you bothering me.” His thumb rubbed a small circle into her arm. “In fact, at least once an hour I look up from my work and find myself more than disappointed to not see you peeking into my office, trying to lure me to bed.” He pulled his face away from hers. His eyes were filled with fire.

“Oh,” Tav gulped.

“Oh?” Raphael tilted his head slightly. “That’s all you have to say to me? ‘Oh?’”

He was still laughing under his breath. How was he always laughing? She hoped so desperately he was laughing with her and not at her.

“How does it make you feel, Tav, knowing I missed you?”

She felt the urge to shudder again from somewhere deep in her stomach, but it was a warm shudder this time.

“Good,” She whispered.

He smiled his toothy smile. “Good.”

And without warning he was kissing her, pressing his tongue against her chapped, waiting lips, and she was letting him in, wrapping shaking hands around his broad shoulders to pull him as close as she could pretend was unintentional.

He was hot and sweet like summer fruit in her mouth. This kiss was different from anything they’d shared before. Kissing outside of sex was so new. Her touch starved body was so addicted to the sensation that she didn’t bother pulling away for air, even as her lungs burned. Tav could drown there in his lips and teeth and eyes until she died in his arms. When he pulled away, she whined like some poor deprived animal.

Oh, how he liked that noise! His eyes said it as clearly as his lips did.

“I’m going to enjoy this,” he purred low, “I’m going to enjoy you until the only thing you think about when you see me is how grateful you are to be mine,” His last word was a growl. Guttural. Animal.

And Tav wanted.

She wanted like she was starving and drowning and burning and ailing and his touch was the sole sure to put a stop to it all. Only his lips on her temple could give her air. Only his hands wandering below her dress to squeeze her rear could save her from the flames. But he was flame too; roaring through her ears, singeing her skin, devouring her whole. She was destroyed in the crucible of his body but he remade her in his image, an idol to the best and worst of his heart. Her very existence was a devotion. Nothing remained of her but the gracious pieces of himself that he’d lent to her.

After everything that had led her here, she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tav gripped Raphael’s back harder, leaving behind a collage of jagged, bloody crescent moons. Her breaths came in ragged pants.

“Take me home,”

The devil smiled and hoisted her up, letting her thighs wrap around his hips. “As my lady commands,”

She lavished his neck as he carried her effortlessly through their home, their palace, a house of stolen hopes and dreams. Dark bruises bloomed with each kiss. She could feel his pulse quicken and thunder beneath her lips. Raphael’s nails grew long, cutting into the fabric of her already ratty skirt as he walked, wings ripping through the back of his emerald tunic. He was losing control of himself with every taunting moment that passed.

Finally, she held an ounce of power in her shaking hands.

Despite that, though, his touch was still intentionally gentle. He held her firmly to him without gripping her fragile body too tight. How rare a treat, to be treated so gently while his lust raged on, proven by the growing hardness pressing against her barely clothed core.

She silently thanked him for forgetting underwear when he redressed her all those weeks ago.

Raphael took the stairs two at a time and it wasn’t long before they were once again bathed in the orange glow of Avernus. Its light washed over Tav like a baptism. Had she ever really appreciated the beauty hiding in the Hells? The swirling auroras of reds and yellows dancing in the endless burning skies? She let her lips pull away from the underside of Raphael’s stubbled chin just long enough to close her eyes and bare her face to that glorious, radiant light.

He met her movement with a growl, diving in to mark her waiting, exposed neck with some love bites of his own.

Electricity raced down her sternum and straight into her warming cunt the second he sucked hard against a prominent vein. She keened as his sharp incisors threatened to break the thin skin. She wanted to feel him rip into her, feel him below the surface, feel consumed and desired… he didn’t though. He just laved his tongue over the angry red scratches and pulled his mouth away again.

Around them, the house was quiet. Not a single anguished wail rang out. The only sounds were his heavy footsteps and the mingling of their heaving breaths. Tav brought her mouth back up to his jaw to fill the sudden quiet in her mind.

“The things you do to me,” he groaned the moment her lips met his skin again, squeezing her thigh. “You little succubus you. Spending too much time with Haarlep must’ve turned you into one of their kind, that’s the only explanation. You’ve bewitched me with your wicked wiles,”

Tav’s heart stopped with each compliment. She hung on his every word.

Since when had he been so doting? Taking care to hold her gently, passing out sweet nothings like candies… Had her confession spurred on this new side to his affections? He put a stop to her thoughts as he suddenly shifted the weight of her body to one arm. She opened her eyes to find them in the dining room.

Haarlep was stood near the table and dressed in green again. Their robes glittered as thousands of tiny golden runes reflected the candlelight. They looked beautiful despite the pinched, anxious look on their face.

“Really?” The incubus spoke quickly, curtly. “Now?”

Raphael just continued his walk until he was upon his prey, pulling them in for their own searing kiss. Haarlep sputtered weakly but leaned into the affection just as Tav did. They didn’t whimper when he pulled away, though. They were much too proud for that. Still, Tav knew that look in their eyes as their upright posture softened.

“Yes, now,” Raphael replied. “Join us?”

Haarlep didn’t need to be asked twice.

They moved together to the boudoir, Haarlep’s hands wandering to her hair as they kissed her back and shoulders. She continued her ministrations on Raphael too, using her free hand to unbutton his collar and gain access to fresh skin. The devil was only driven to get them into bed faster with every distracting kiss and touch. By the time they passed through the threshold, though, his patience was waning.

The moment they were safely within the walls of his bedroom Raphael was quick to toss Tav gently onto a cushioned bench beside the baths. When he stood over her with his wings flared he almost looked like a vengeful angel come to deliver her to salvation. How apt. He’d always been her savior, even when she couldn’t see it.

“Do you truly insist on bathing first?” He asked, chest heaving.

Tav took one look at the grime on her skin and gave a sheepish nod. How human of her.

In a second Haarlep was sliding up behind the devil, wrapping an arm around his broad chest. “Don’t worry master, I’ll take care of her. Go make yourself comfortable,”

“Fine, but make it quick. My patience won’t last long today,”

Raphael turned on his heel, quickly extricating himself from the incubus's arms and walking to the bed. He began to undo the buttons on his tunic as his eyes took in the greatest treasures he’d ever owned.

Then the game began.

“Well, hello,” Haarlep murmured as they knelt beside her. “Look who finally rejoined our little family,”

Their voice sounded slightly strained in it’s softness but Tav expected nothing less. Things were still difficult between them and their conversation about Haarlep’s love was still raw in both their minds. They had nothing but tenderness when they ran a hand down her face, though, or when they began to gently lift her dress over her head. She accepted the affection eagerly.

Raphael was nude by then. He settled himself on the bed, angling his body so that he could lounge and stroke himself while overlooking the pair.

It took a lot for Tav to divert her attention away from him long enough to shift out of the filthy cotton nightgown but somehow she managed, letting Haarlep discard the garment somewhere behind them. Nudity didn’t bring heat to her cheeks anymore. Not with the two of them, at least. Being bared down to their basest was so much less confusing than facing the carefully crafted facades each of the three wore, herself included. Once she helped Haarlep out of their robes they were all just skin and blood and bone. Made of all the same stuff.

They were equals.

She brought Haarlep’s waiting mouth in for a kiss before descending into the warm waters awaiting them.

It was sinful, the way the incubus’s hands caressed her skin with the bar of soap, tracing her breasts and the soft line of her stomach, hands creeping low beneath the water but never low enough. All the while Raphael was stroking himself lazily. Tav relished the gentle touch and leaned her back against Haarlep’s steady form. Their own erection was waiting for her, pressing against her thighs.

The second their skin touched Raphael hissed a sigh.

“Careful, Haarlep,”

Then it was Tav’s turn to sigh, because Haarlep was rutting up into her thighs, so close to her wanting heat.

“What was that Master? I couldn’t hear you. I was too focused on this delicious little thing,”

Raphael growled softly, but did nothing, hand falling away from his cock. It wasn’t needed when he could feel every slow, delicious thrust Haarlep made.

“Must you draw this out?” the devil asked.

“Maybe I’m just waiting for you to ask for what you want,” Haarlep taunted back.

Throughout everything Tav was silent, letting soft whimpers escape her open lips with each of Haarlep’s taunting touched. She was captivated by Raphael, and from the intensity of his gaze he was more than smitten with the sight of her. After the frequency they’d been together before the party it was shocking to suddenly go cold turkey from his touch. Now, though, Haarlep’s gentility was barely scratching the itch that grew under her skin.

She needed to be dominated, body and soul, and she needed it yesterday.

As if he could tell, Raphael was finally merciful.

“You’re both clean enough. Get up here now,”

“That didn’t sound like a question,” Haarlep teased, “but I suppose I’ll humor you this once,” And just like that, their bath was over.

Tav felt like a naiad as she rose out of the water, body lithe and entrancing as she fought the urge to bolt up the stairs to the bed. She walked slowly and Haarlep flanked her. Their hands roved over her wet skin, evaporating the water with the sheer heat of his infernal skin. Vapor rose around her. She supposed she must look like some sort of goddess emerging from the mist. Raphael was certainly looking at her as if she was.

He propped himself up on his elbows, waiting, expectant.

She paused.

Haarlep didn’t wait with her. They passed her without a thought, crawling into the big bed like they’d done thousands of times and settling in at Raphael’s side. It looked so inviting. It almost looked… safe. Still, she stood paralyzed.

Raphael held out a hand. “I refuse to start without you, darling. This is all about you, after all,”

Tav was stunned. For what felt like the thousandth time since she’d woken, Raphael shocked her.

He’d called her darling.

All at once, the life she’d never dared to dream was her reality. Gone were all traces of fear and shame. She was Raphael’s darling. She finally had a place to call her own, not for now but for forever. She was loved. She was known. There would be no more imprisonment, no more terror, no more waiting. She was a member of the family. She was home.

The last remnants of thoughts about her former friends dissipated the moment she crawled onto the bed, kneeling above Raphael as he and Haarlep took in her form greedily.

Those people she once knew were nothing.

This? This bed filled with two being waiting to adore her?

It was and always would be everything.

She met Raphael in a searing kiss, letting his hot tongue explore her eager mouth. His hands explored more than that, though. It was as if he were memorizing every curve of her nude body, every scar and blemish. Haarlep simply leaned on one arm and watched it all unfold with a slightly heartsick smile on their face. Usually Tav would’ve done more to make the poor incubus feel welcome, but she couldn’t think that far, not when Raphael’s cock was twitching so deliciously below her.

“I want you,” she whined, and he cooed at her as she hovered, waiting for permission that never came.

“What a sweet thing. Not today, though. Today, I want to try something new,”

The devil was unusually gentle as he wrapped clawed hands around her waist and maneuvered her down onto the bed. She blinked up at him, confused. Haarlep seemed confused too as Raphael came in for another kiss.

“You’ve been so very brave, Tav. How I wish I’d seen your loyalty sooner,” he whispered against her lips, pressing his own to hers almost… chastely. “Let us take care of you. Let us show you how valued you are,”

Was she dreaming?

She had to be dreaming.

Raphael’s hands did feel real. His weight above her was solid and sure, keeping her pressed to the bed as he kissed down her jaw, pawing at her breasts. Even his voice was right as it hummed more praise into her skin.

Her wildest dreams blossomed with every press of his lips to her waiting body.

If she hadn’t been dripping wet before, she definitely was now.

Haarlep’s hands joined Raphael’s, gently rolling her nipples between their lithe fingers, running feather-light nails down her abdomen. Tav could barely breathe through the intensity of it all. Where were the five-minute bursts of intense fucking? Where was Raphael’s usual impatience? It all melted away with her mind as Haarlep took a breast into their mouth. Raphael seemed to purr at the sound of her eager whines.

“It’s like your pretty little body was made just for us, isn’t it Haarlep?”

The incubus hummed a reply, sending a wave of warm breath against her sensitive bud.

Tav arched up her back to chase the sensation. She was caged in by bodies on all sides. It was searing hot flesh on flesh no matter where her body ran.

Raphael brought a clawed hand to his cock again while she writhed. There was no aloof joy there, though, no smarmy grin waiting to greet her as she looked into his eyes. He looked human despite the wings and horns. His smile was a gentle one.

“Tell me you want me,”

Her voice was a shuddered gasp, escaping her lungs and tripping over her loose tongue and lax lips.

“I’ve always wanted you. I need you. Don’t ever go away, I think I’d die without you,”

Truths, truths, truths.

Dirty little truths that wormed their way out over all those tortured years.

He parted her folds gently, taking great care to make sure his claws didn’t dig into the sensitive, wet flesh as he brushed her entrance with the leaking head of his cock. “I don’t want to wait for you any longer, Tav,”

And there was her name again!

The things he did to her, the ways he made her feel- up and down and up again. Raphael had been egocentric and predictable and even then she had loved him. Now, though… what could she do but fall ever deeper into the pit of pleasure and adoration before her?

“Take me?”

“As you wish,”

Raphael entered her in a slow smooth movement.

She welcomed him eagerly.

Through her still-parted folds she watched every inch of him disappear into her, distending her abdomen ever so slightly. He hissed as he bottomed out. Beside them, Haarlep shifted, taking up his usual position behind Raphael and stretching the man easily with a practiced hand and a bit of oil from the nightstand.

So this was making love.

The usual grunts and moans were there, yes. They would never go away. Somehow, though, the connection thrummed between the three as they began their undulating dance. Haarlep into Raphael and Raphael into Tav. She felt it in her chained soul. Every movement was deliberate. Hesitant, even. This was new territory for them all.

Haarlep’s eyes seemed almost weepy above the pair despite their nature.

They felt it too.

“Do you feel good, dearest,” Raphael murmured, bringing his face close to hers. There was restraint lacing every word as he paced his thrusts. Tav flushed hot.

He wanted it to be good for her. It was always good for her, Gods was it always good, but he wanted it to be good for her.

She pulled him closer wordlessly and kissed him like she was dying.

His lips curved upwards against hers.

Tav had thought domination was what she needed, something hard and fast to make her feel alive again. Who could have guessed the effect that the opposite would have on her body?

Each push of his cock into her cunt was molten. Every swipe of his thumb over her swollen clit was electric. The shape of his body was branded into her own flesh by pure heat alone. Had it always been like this? Maybe now that she finally had the ability to do more than just wail and drool as he pounded into her she could see so much worth appreciating. She brought a soft hand up to his cheek. Raphael stalled a bit, surprised.

“I love you,”

The devil yellow eyes found hers. He whispered his answer so softly into her skin that she barely made it out over the groans and breaths and slapping of skin.

“As do I, Tav,”

And then he continued on as if she hadn’t heard. As if his confession had been hidden in the bliss of their lovemaking, as it was to Haarlep. As if her whole world hadn’t imploded and burst out in a big bang of devotion the second the words left his lips

She kept that secret close to her aching heart as he filled her cunt to the brim, finally picking up his pace.

It wasn’t long from there. Haarlep was rutting rhythmically into their master and Raphael was chasing his own release just as fervently, but not without bringing her with him, finding that just right spot to slam as he kept rubbing steadily on her oversensitive nub.

She let herself surrender to him as white hot flame filled her.

Tav was on fire. Her lungs burned as she wailed, letting the reins on herself go as the flames raced up to consume her writhing body and soul. She could feel her very spirit lifting, spreading through the steamy air and drifting down in a shower of ash as her arched back fell and her breathing evened. Finally, she was a hero no more. She was an ember flickering ever so faintly in the pits of the Hells. She was a charred soul, wrapped in the cradle on Raphael’s arms as he heaved and settled onto the bed, letting Haarlep begin to clean them up.

Cleansed.

Pure.

She was tainted, yet pure.

The juxtaposition didn’t bother her. Chaos was comforting in a place like the House of Hope. She let the lasting warmth of their connection lull her into a comfortable sleep as she nestled closer to Raphael’s chest, breathing in time with his quiet, steady heartbeat.

———

When she woke, he was still there.

Thick, hazy clouds of steam floated throughout the room, cooling Tav’s skin as her eyes fluttered open to find Raphael’s chest waiting before her. He’d stayed. Her surprise was outweighed by a body-wide calm. It leaded her limbs, keeping her lazily wrapped around Raphael’s large, sleeping frame even as her mind began to wake. She smiled.

It wasn’t every day Tav got a chance to watch him with his guard down. His usually furrowed brow was slack, and drool pooled at the corner of his slightly parted lips, wetting a small spot on the pillow above Tav’s head. She wiped it away with the crook of her finger. He never looked half as peaceful when he was awake.

Carefully, trying not to wake him, she ran her fingertip along his lower lip.

His great wing twitched slightly, letting the silk blanket he had pulled over them fall below his hip and reveal his nude form. Tav breathed him in like a masterwork. Every plane of his body must have been sculpted by some great god of artistry from deep, brilliant agate. Still sweat-slick, he even glistened like a gemstone in the candlelight.

She pressed her lips to the salty skin of his shoulder.

If Tav closed her eyes again, she could almost ignore the blazing yellow sky outside the window and imagine them somewhere far away, some secluded winter cabin in the far northern lands where Raphael’s body heat would be the only thing keeping her from certain, frozen death in the wastes. He would keep her safe, though, and close. She had no doubt of that anymore.

The beginnings of a housewife fantasy had begun to weave themselves into the soft, delicate places in Tav’s heart, luring her closer to her lover's body.

He shifted in earnest now, his body waking with him. She welcomed him in warmly. Her breath was a warm cloud in the cool, smoky air.

“Good morning, Master Raphael,” She purred. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, placing another gentle kiss on his forehead. “Did you have pleasant dreams?”

The devil mumbled something intelligible, snuffling his face into her hair.

“No need to leave them for me. I’m happy right where I am.” She laughed. Tav breathed him in, the hand on his cheek bringing him closer as she relished in the musk on his skin, still tinged with soap and sex. Cherry and gun-smoke and… lemon? Tav paused, pulling her face away from his. Was that bergamot too?

Smoke sat heavy in the cool, clammy, choking air.

Raphael was still only half awake, but he groaned, stretching an arm up to the sky as he let his yellow eyes flit open.

After that, a lot of things happened at once, the first of which being that Tav realized she was not, in fact, in bed with Raphael.

Lemon had been the first giveaway. Raphael’s soap of choice was darker, something laced with patchouli and musk. Haarlep always preferred a cleaner scent. When Tav saw their eyes, with that distinct yellow glow so much sunnier than the devil’s own, it had only sealed the deal. She didn’t move to detach her body. Instead, she lay confused as Haarlep rolled onto their back.

As the incubus moved, though, they gave Tav an odd look, almost peaceful in it’s sorrow. She could hear their voice echo through her skull strangely while she watched his lips, unmoving.

“Thank you, Tavvy. Sorry about this,”

The very moment Haarlep leaned back, baring their body and chest to the room, the smoke around them seemed to thicken. At first glance, Tav had assumed it was just steam from the baths, but as it coalesced into a tighter, darker cloud she realized it was so much more. Haarlep hadn’t smelled of bergamot. This strange cloud had. Vapor swarmed to Haarlep’s chest in no more time than an eye-blink, and then from the chaos, a body appeared, as if it had been built by every wisp of dark that had been hanging in the room.

She knew that body.

In fact, she knew every sinewy curve and bend. She could have recognized his voice in a room of strangers or mapped the planes of his face with her eyes closed. It wasn’t as if his figure wasn’t burned behind her eyelids, doomed to haunt her nightmares, asleep and, seemingly, waking now as well. Things were different in person, though. More feral. More sinister. More… terrifying.

No.

It couldn’t be.

He couldn’t be.

And yet there he was, flesh and blood, upon her only true friend and equal in the world. She’d been found. It was over.

Astarion.

Tav’s heart stopped beating correctly just about when Haarlep’s did, dark infernal blood spraying her face and body as the attacker turned his lean visage to her.

His red eyes softened as they took in her shaking form; the quiver in her lip and the wetness threatening to spill over her cheeks. He crooked his head to the side. “I’ve come for you, Tav,” The monster crooned gently. “It’s alright now. I’m here,”

She didn’t hear him, though, not with her focus trained on Haarlep’s shredded neck and the way their features began to melt into dark neutrality like chocolate on a summer's day. Their eyes, their true eyes, still lemony yellow but with strange, beautiful flashes of red and gold and cobalt blue, found her; soft, pleading- afraid. So afraid. She’d never seen Haarlep truly afraid in all her years at their side. Facing death alone, though, or functionally alone, seemed to be the breaking point. Their lips moved around a lead tongue, soundlessly whispering the only name that would have mattered, and, as the vampire dismounted from their broken body, she watched the last shaking breath escape their slack lips.

Tav mourned with a vengeful, horrid wail.

Confusion marked all of Astarion’s sharp features, his brow knitting together. He extended a hand to her that she quickly scrambled away from, leaving the bed altogether with nothing more than a thin silk sheet to protect herself. Her nudity before him didn’t scare her, only the vulnerability it brought, the access to all her softest, most vital places.

“Tav?” He whispered.

She did not dignify him with a response to her name. He had no right to know it. He had no right to know her.

“I’m going to kill you,” Her voice was a low growl. “I don’t know how, but I will. And I’m going to make you regret coming here,”

“What are you talking about?”

“Where is Raphael? What have you done with him?”

“Oh, come on! We meet after seven years, I come here to save you, and this is what you say to me?”

Baffled annoyance was growing in Astarion’s voice as he prowled closer.

Tav did not back down. Not from him. She was Raphael’s only defense now, his closest companion, and when he had poured her anew from the fires of his heart he had made her strong enough to withstand this, if only for him. Haarlep had too, in their way. It was thanks to the love they’d shared that she was able to stand strong on her own feet again after so long feeling scared and small. She growled like the deeply feral animal she was.

His guard dog. His last line of defense.

“Where. Is. Raphael.”

Thankfully, Astarion didn’t have time to answer before her question answered itself.

“Beautiful job, darling. I can take it from here,”

Her head snapped back to the shimmering entrance of the boudoir and there was Raphael, waltzing in at the bottom of the stairs with Shadowheart’s bruised form dragging behind him by the wrist. She was upright but battered, not that Tav cared. Tears finally fell as relief filled her chest. The chill in the room was replaced with that signature, flaming warmth that followed the infernals everywhere. She didn’t realize how much she’d missed it until it was gone.

Beside her, Astarion snarled. His eyes darted between Tav, Raphael, and Shadowheart, never pausing in one place too long as he took in his surroundings.

Tav didn’t risk moving. She was placed directly between the two rival men. If she tried to move back to Haarlep she’d have to move through Astarion, but if she chose to move towards Raphael she would have to turn her back on the vampire. It gave him too many opportunities.

“Welcome back to the House of Hope, Lord Ancunin. I can’t say I remember sending out an invitation, but I’ve been expecting you nonetheless,” Raphael spoke with his usual confident air. Shadowheart groaned, trailing behind. “I think you lost this on your way to find my pets.” He raised the cleric’s limp arm. “Care to take back your garbage?”

Shadowheart replied before her companion could. “We’re here for Tav,”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, it is! So if you’ll kindly let us do this the easy way-” Astarion took a few more steps towards Tav, but stopped, shocked, as she yanked away from his body.

This was her chance.

Stalled in his surprise, Astarion gave her just enough of a window to wrap the sheet closer around her body and make a run down the stairs, slamming into Raphael’s waiting chest.

The vampire paused. “Tav?”

The devil grinned.

“Checkmate, little vampire. Shall we move this to my office?”

--------

(A/N: And with that, we have gotten to the juicy bit! Thank you for your patience with my infrequent upload schedule, my boss is a bald asshole who saps any will to be creative out of me, but I'm so glad I can continue sharing my writing and ideas despite his existence. On that note, if any writers are looking for a mutual to throw ideas at and get ideas thrown at them in return, I'm your fool! Thank you again for reading, hugs and kisses. Sorry for putting you through the wringer there at the end. It's only a little more suffering and then the joy can start <3)

Last Chapter

Next Chapter

Taglist: @the-pale-elfs-love

#fanfiction #bg3 fanfiction #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 haarlep #bg3 raphael #bg3 tav #jac rambles #bg3 astarion #bg3 #raphael/tav #raphael bg3 #haarlep #raphael/haarlep #astarion/tav #ascended astarion #bg3 shadowheart #raphael the cambion #raphael baldur's gate 3

26 notes · View notes