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#the trials and tribulations I went through….
jabesa0 · 11 days
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MAAAN YAALLLL ILLYYY MAMMMONNN 💖💕💕🫶🎂🎉🎉🎉
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halflingkima · 11 months
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You thought one marriage was something? It ain't shit!
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moe-broey · 3 months
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6/09 • Day 1 • Past or Future
A Glimpse into the Past
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Also quick edit!!! These kid designs are of Alfonse, Triandra, Peony (Sharena) and Sharena (Peony)! Unsure on ages, just. Ambiguously small LMFAO (sorry if I wasn't clear enough! I forgor.)
Well, I may not have been able to make time on my big piece, but I do have these concepts/roughs I made for it! Only focusing on the most important parts of each design, which is why the clothes are left blank lmfao
Something I've been headcanoning for a looong time is that the girls who'd become fairies had slightly different appearances, as humans/children. The biggest reason behind it is to make the changeling shenanigans more believable -- I can accept mistaking a blonde/orange for a blonde/pink, especially if there's no reason to think otherwise. Maybe it's a trick of the light. But I draw the line at your sister inexplicably having lavender eyes every now and again when they're supposed to be green LMFAOOO
If Lif can have red eyes, Totally Not Sharena Peony, as we know her, can have lavender eyes. After becoming something not quite human. Before then she gets blueish-green eyes. Which has the same effect as the orange being juuuust slightly off but like why would you ever think about that!!!!!
Some other thoughts:
> I like to think that Triandra and Peony/Sharena are half sisters, which is why she stands out a bit.
> I also like the idea that Triandra and Alfonse have some visual similarities, too. Mostly in the hair, both having somewhat androgynous styles, with a waviness to it. There's a sense of familiarity, in foggy memories.
@sharenaweek
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don't be shy, let the music inside and dance, dance, dance!
bonus:
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foolsocracy · 2 years
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cheffin
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eliotquillon · 28 days
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sorry guys got really into the shadowhunters subreddit this week and saw red over a show-centric meme that shit on sizzy and have been simmering in resentment ever since . If only they had walked a mile in my shoes (desperately refreshing cassandra clare’s website in 2014 waiting for shadowhunter academy teasers to be released because you were desperate for simon and isabelle to finally get their happy ending) and also the show had fucking bothered to give isabelle any kind of consistent characterisation at all . If only.
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cuntylestat · 4 months
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there is so much to contemplate and ponder and discuss with this episode but i'll do that when it's not 2am
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fritextramole · 2 years
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decided i needed a clip of this scene and figured some of you might want it too
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blazenhearts · 2 years
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accurate light and shadow? i dont know her
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justjiseoks · 1 year
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AAAAAAHHHHHHHH I GOT IT…… after weeks 😭 I’ve finally got my grubby little hands on a copy of DeadLock…..
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welcometogrouchland · 2 years
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sorry if I'm bothering you but I FINALLY FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO PREFERS FTF BUT PURELY BECAUSE OF OUR LOVE FOR WILLOW (we're the only ones right about her) like yeah, it's DEFINITELY not a perfect episode but IT'S ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. and I LOVE TTT TOO BECAUSE OF LUZ but tbh I didn't like being in the fandom when TTT came out because THERE WAS SO MUCH STUFF ABOUT HUNTER, TO THE POINT WHERE PEOPLE THOUGHT HE SHOULD BE THE MC AND NOT LUZ??? I love my boy but I felt overwhelmed at all of this so him not getting too much in FTF was fine for me :)
Firstly, I'd like to say YES!! FOR THE FUTURE SOLOS!!! LITERALLY SOME OF THE BEST CHARACTER WORK, ART DIRECTION, SOUNDTRACK, BOARDING, HUMOUR AND HORROR IN THE WHOLE SHOW!!!
Secondly I'd like to say that this is SUCH a can of worms that I've held back on talking about for A While™. Tbh it kinda feels like u read my mind I was literally thinking about this this morning.
(BIG ASS RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT. I AM NOT JOKING THIS POST IS SO LONG IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY)
Both episodes are really fucking good, both on their own merit and when you take into account the circumstances under which they were made. I do not want to labour this point. I hate pitting two bad bitches against each other.
I AM however interested in investigating why, when two episodes are of similar quality, but with different priorities and focuses and (for lack of a better word) Vibe™ does the fandom demonstrably prefer one over the other?
Thanks to Them is BIG on plot. It's big on "establish what the kids have been doing, introduce Lore and Mystery, do the possession, fight the bad guy, get back to the demon realm, bada bing bada boom!!". I don't think it's nearly as relentlessly paced as some people think, and I think there are definitely emotional moments to be gleaned out of characters who AREN'T Luz, Hunter or Camilla- but overall it's similar to the most plot focused episodes of season 2. Your knock knock knocking on hootys doors and your hollow minds.
But for the future is a lot more concerned with character. Everyone gets some small moment to shine, though you're correct in saying that the focus is mostly on Luz, Willow and then probably the collector. But Camilla, Gus, Amity, Hunter, King, Eda and Lilith all get more emotional depth in a few lines than like. Willow did in half of thanks to them. even Belos gets more screentime this ep than he did in thanks to them, screentime that's much more illuminating (do love the moments he had in thanks to them but they weren't huge character moments really, just him villain-ing it up).
Less plot stuff happens, if you count the main goal as "get into the titans skull" then that's only introduced about a quarter of the way through the episode, whereas "get back to the human realm" is established as the goal of thanks to them in like. Negative screentime lmao. You basically know it's the goal coming in because you've watched king's tide already. For the future isn't like this!
And I GET IT MAN! checking in on the YouTube progress bar at the 3/4 of the way through elicited pure fear in me! But I feel like the fandoms fear of plots going unresolved and questions going unanswered has created this. Like. Attitude that the episodes need to be completely spartan or they're wasting time.
Like, with bringing back Boscha and Kikimora. Some people consider that a waste of time because they weren't Big Bads in seasons prior, meaning they should be low priority and don't belong here. And ppl are entitled to feel that way!
But I don't think you can call them wasted! Or irrelevant! I think the writers put a lot of work into making their storyline fit with the themes of the show! I have an essay I may never finish in drafts about this but- one of the most popular aspects of seasons 1 and 2 was the whole corrupt government storyline, which reached it's climax in king's tide but still had no resolution, same way hexside had no resolution from what happened after labyrinth runners. The writers combined these storylines by showing how hexside wasn't going to become a mini dictatorship like the isles old system (hence the title of the episode, changing things for the better "for the future"). That's efficient storytelling! Combining two plots into one in order to resolve both at the same time!
But people don't take this as an example of efficiency because it's not Lore or Plot based. And I think that's a real shame.
Both episodes have pacing and balance issues but I don't think one is especially egregious compared to the other? Nor do they have more pacing and balance issues than say, Clouds on the Horizon, which I'd say is one of MY least favouritely paced episodes of the show. Maybe thanks to them just had more novelty factor because of the setting (not to mention it probably benefitted from having one less subplot to juggle, but eh)
And about the fandom response after each episode....yeah. yeah.
I love Hunter. He's my baby. My scrimblo bimblo. He is like my twin brother. Literally. For reasons I cannot begin to explain here, hunter the owl house is like my twin brother.
And in all fairness to the fandom, plenty of people are normal about him. I know this because I've curated my experience to entirely be the people who are normal about him.
But the people who are not normal about him...my god.
Tbh I think this issue of focus actually lands on why I prefer for the future to thanks to them (THOUGH AGAIN. THEY BOTH SLAY)
The ending of thanks to them was so abrupt and emotionally charged that it felt like a betrayal, almost. The show went so hard and so fast that afterwards there was no breathing room and I didn't fully trust the show to be able to pull back afterwards. I thought either Hunter is going to eat up more and more screentime next episode by having to deal with the implications of every that happened five minutes from the episodes end, or they are literally never going to touch on him again. The ending of thanks to them was SO MUCH in so little time that I literally could not fathom a middle road.
Whereas the ending of for the future was a lot more. Aha, eureka! Moment to me. Like "OHH so that's what we're dealing with next episode!!! Nice". There was excitement and yeah, fear that things wouldn't land, but overall there was more trust in me. And of course, they did find a lovely medium between it being the Hunter show and addressing his trauma adequately. His arc was very emotional and satisfying this ep, without the borderline hard-to-enjoy turmoil that the ending of thanks to them put me through lol.
But I think, to some people, the sheer angst of thanks to thems ending was more emotionally rewarding than the well paced stability and slight ominousness of for the future. They felt that episodes end was too "mid". Too soft. The end of the show needs to go all out all the time, so this episode that focused more on emotional arcs and early season callbacks and payoffs is weak.
And to be honest, maybe my analysis here isn't as in-depth or as in-touch with fandom complaints as it could be! I've generally avoided the people harshly criticizing for the future because I like it when fandom is fun. I don't like watching one of my favorite episodes to date get dunked on. But that in and of itself (combined with the leak situation) has led to an inability to really Go All Out with fandom engagement rn. It's a struggle!
I've seen people describe for the future as en episode where Everything happened, and yet nothing happened. I get why! I personally prefer it to thanks to them because I feel like too much happened during that episodes climax to the point where it didn't even feel like the episode had true resolution.
But also, I get that for a lot of people, it's not even about construction. It's just about expectation and preference. People weren't expecting hexside, and when they got it, they got upset. People weren't expecting Willow, and when they got it, they didn't like it. And I get that. Really I do.
But this show is so fuckin wild. It does so much and throws so many curve balls at you. Never the big twists either, always the shit u don't expect. And it's great. I've honestly grown really fond of the way this show pokes me in the ass with something I didn't really expect or consider.
Not everybody is though and like. That's fine. But I do wish sometimes people would just. Kinda. Let it go when something goes in a direction they didn't expect. Because I didn't expect the direction FTF went in at all and I loved it once I stopped to think about it. But that's just me.
I think this is only like. 25% a direct response to things you said in the ask, so to conclude by answering/engaging with your ask point by point:
Willow stans and For the Future stans unite. This is our nation. Also shout-out to the fellow willow understanders I am mutuals with/follow you guys were really keeping us going in the pre for the future times
It's not a perfect episode but circumstances considering, it never could've been, and I'm okay with most of the ways it falls short. I'm also fully willing to hold out and see whether or not watching and dreaming rectifies any of my complaints, considering several of the issues I took with thanks to them were solved this ep, lol
Luz and Camilla literally stole the show in thanks to them and while I understand that the ending of that ep was very hunter centric, hence the hunter centric fandom atmosphere afterwards, I do prefer the environment in fandom rn that's appreciating this mother daughter duo rn
Hunter is not a main character imo. Not because he couldn't be but because his story is rendered infinitely more interesting when he is a supporting character. It's one thing to tell us that Hunter lives for other people and is made to forever be a second- best underling. It's another thing to show us this with his narrative role as the ultimate foil. He Is Better Off This Way. Also this point is dumb but I fully believe Hunter would be miserable as a main character. He does not want this
Also Luz is genuinely one of my favorite main characters in television. Maybe ever. If I start talking about her we'll be here all day. Just look at literally anything sepublic has written about her it's all on point
For the future had the perfect amount of Hunter content tbh. No episode should have more or less. I'm banging my gavel like a judge decreeing this to be so
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smileyfacebandit · 2 years
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jjunieworld · 7 days
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CALL ME DAVID CAUSE I JUST FINISHED THIS GOLIATH OF A FIC‼️‼️ genuinely this part two has taken years off of my life and i didn’t even intend for it to be as long as it is, but sometimes you just have to let things be… 😭😭 i hope you all like it cause it is jam-packed with so much drama :3
gonna get it all edited and it should be out in a few days hopefully! THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVER!!!!
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natofthepat · 4 months
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justmeinadaze · 11 days
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A Love That Will Survive (Eddie Munson X You)
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A/N: I seriously have no idea where this came from but I worked really hard on it and I think it's the longest story I've ever written.
Please enjoy <3
Warnings: Husband Eddie & Fem Wife Y/N, The timeframes shift from young to older with 20 years of Marriage between them, SMUT, lose of virginity, dirty talk, lots of needy energy but all of it is with the love these two have. FLUFF, dad Eddie loves his kiddo and wife and vice versa.
ANGST, reader has an unexpected pregnancy her senior year of high school, she's from the richer side of Hawkins so her parents hate Eddie causing problems multiple times, Eddie and Y/N are in therapy, reader feels Eddie pulling away, Flashbacks with fights between the two of them (verbally), Eddie gets into a fight defending Y/N when some asshole grabs her arm. Y/N defends her husband against her parents. Eddie talking about fears of becoming his dad.
More than anything this is about a couple who's struggled with trials and tribulations of life and marriage but still love each other immensely.
Word Count: 12,541
Eddie Masterlist/ Donate to Me
1986
“Dooooo you love me more thaaan Henderson?”
“Yes. That was the easiest question you’ve ever asked me.”, Eddie chuckles as he blows the smoke from his cigarette towards the window. 
“Do you love me moooore than D&D?”
“Uh oh. They’re getting harder now. Of course, baby.”, he smirks as he kisses your forehead.
“More than your guitar?”, you giggle as he heavily sighs and tosses the stick between his fingers out the window before flipping you onto your back as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. 
“How dare you bring my guitar into this!”, he lightly scolds as he nibbles at your skin making you laugh harder as you wrap your arms around him. “Y/N, I fell in love you the moment I met you. I was waitin’ for a girl like you…” Your eyes roll as he laughs through his teeth before singing, “…to come into my life.”
“You’re such a dork.”
“I love you to.”
***
2006
“So…how have things been this past week?”, the therapist asks as her gaze shifts between the two of you. 
Neither you nor Eddie says a word as his eyes penetrate into the floor as if hoping it would open and swallow him up. You two had been married for almost 20 years and to some that would be an incredible milestone of love but little did the people around you know how mind-numbing marriage had become. 
When you two met there was a fire within him that you absolutely adored. He was always so animated about things he enjoyed like playing guitar or D & D. Even when he spoke about you, his hands would flail as he desperately tried to get the words to leave his brain to accurately describe how perfect you were to him. 
You weren’t sure when it happened but at some point that light and the romance just…disappeared. When Eddie came home from work smelling like motor oil and beer, he barely said two words to you before showering and crashing in bed. If he didn’t promptly fall asleep, he would pound his feet against the mobile home floors in his sweats and slight beer gut with his bare, tattooed heavy chest on display as he headed out front again to smoke a cigarette. You still thought he was incredibly attractive with scruff along his chin and the way his lose strands of hair hung around his face when he pulled it back for work. Unfortunately, the two of you hadn’t been intimate in quite some time, barely even holding hands anymore when you went out somewhere. 
The few times you did have sex, you both only took off the clothing required and he thrust into you with barely if any foreplay until you both came. Afterwards, there was no cuddles or soft kiss. You two would roll over and just go to sleep.
“Y/N?”
“Huh?”
“How’s this week been?”, the therapist asked again but softer as if treading water.
“Oh, uh, it’s been alright. Caleb went back to school on Sunday so that was hard. I miss him when he’s away.”
“I can imagine. Having any child away from home is hard but when its your only child…oof.”, she chuckles. “How about you, Eddie? How did you feel when your son left?”
“Um, I mean…it’s fine. I miss him to but I’m proud of him for going to school so…”
“Neither of us got to.”
His eyes close slightly before focusing on the woman in front of him. 
“Why did you say that just then, Y/N?”, she asks in her inquiring high pitch voice that tells you, you just stepped into a “lesson”.
“I just meant that I’m proud of him to.”
“Because he got into college or because you two didn’t?”
“What’s the difference?”
“That’s what I’m asking you.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”, you growl. “I’m proud that my son doesn’t have to struggle like we did. He can go out, live his life, and do whatever he wants. That’s all I ever wanted for him.”
“Because of me you weren’t able to.”, Eddie grumbles.
“That’s not what I said.”
“Not in so many words but—”
“Do you blame him?”
Everything became silent as your husband leaned back on the couch and heavily sighed. 
“No, I don’t.”, you responded sternly as you folded your arms. “Me getting pregnant wasn’t his fault.”
“But you resent him a bit?”
Without waiting to hear your answer, Eddie got up and stomped out of the office.
##############
1986
The metalhead paces back and forth with his hands on his hips as you sit silently on his bed with your head hung. 
“I don’t understand. We were so careful and we used protection. How could this have happened?”
“The nurse suggested that the condom may have broken.”
“It didn’t look that way.”
“Oh, because you checked it thoroughly before throwing it in the garbage?”, you respond sassily as he angrily glares your way. “What are we going to do, Eddie?”
Hearing the pain in your voice breaks his heart and he promptly places himself beside you to pull you to his side. 
“Everything’s going to be alright, sweetheart. We can do this. We graduate in a couple of months and then I can get a job at the shop over here. I know cars so it shouldn’t be a problem. You, of course, can stay here till we find a house and then we can—”
Your lips cut him off as you cup his face in your hands to hold him to you. When you pull away, his palm laces around the back of your neck to keep your forehead on his.
“Will you marry me?” When you giggle through your tears, he can’t help but laugh as well. “I’m serious. I can take care of you, babe. Plus, you know I’ve wanted to marry you since I first met you. We’re just kind of…skipping a few steps here…”
Your eyes watch him as he yanks off one of his rings and kneels down on one knee in front of you with your hand in his. 
“I’m gonna get you a better ring, princess, I promise but like you this is special to me and I mean it when I say I want you to be my wife forever.”
Smiling, you kiss him again as you slide his ring on your finger. 
“Of course, I’ll marry you, Eddie Munson. 
***
The entire ride back home he didn’t say a word; chain smoking his cigarettes along the way. 
“Eddie, wait. Can we talk?”, you plead as soon as you enter the front door.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
 “I don’t resent you or the life we have!”, you scream as he tried to disappear down the hallway. 
“Oh, great. Thanks, sweetheart. Now that I know that I can fucking sleep tonight.”, he responded with a tone that had you huffing as you ran after him into your bedroom. 
"What I resent is this!" His intense, brown eyes follow your hands as you gesture absently between the two of you. “When did you stop fucking caring?!”
“I do care.”
“Do you?! You barely talk to me anymore, we don’t spend time together, and when you are here physically you seem gone mentally. You always have a cigarette or a fucking beer in your hand… I mean we don’t even really fight anymore. It’s always me shouting at you while you stare at me like you are now!”
“What do you want from me, Y/N?”
 “I just want you to show some kind of emotion! You used to be so animated, Eddie, and now you just…I don’t know. You’re not as passionate as you used to be.”
“I’m not in my 20s anymore, babe. I’m sorry I’m not as spry as before.”
“Like you would know. You don’t even try or anything. We aren’t old, Eddie, and now’s our time to do everything we wanted.”
“Because I ruined our youth by knocking you up?”
Your eyebrows furrow together as you blink back tears that try to push forth. 
“No, you asshole. Because you said, you wanted to spend forever with me.”
With that, you turn around and stomp out the back door. 
##############
1988
“Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has its dawn Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song Every rose has its thorn Yeah it does, Caleb.”
 Eddie softly smiles as his son’s tiny palm taps the guitar his fingers were strumming on. Your own grin paints your lips as you watch him pet his unruly curls before continuing to play. His voice was a bit more rugid than normal but you assumed that was because he had been at work all day and had yet to rest. Even now his jumpsuit hung around his waist and he had patches of dirt clinging to his skin but he missed Caleb a lot when he was away. 
Eddie as a father made you fall even more in love with him as you watched them play or do anything together. He had been working back-to-back shifts to help pay for certain things your son needed and you missed him every day. 
“Hey, baby?”
“Hey, princess?”, he cooed back making you giggle. 
“How was your day?”
“It was alright. Angry customers and stupid people so ya know…Hawkins.”, he beams your way as you come over to sit beside him and pick up the baby to sit on your lap.
“You know you don’t have to work so hard, right?”
“I know, sweetheart. I just want to make sure you both have everything you need and to get us out of this fucking trailer.”
“It’s technically a mobile home…a bit bigger.”, you smirk as he leans forward to kiss your forehead. 
“But you both deserve a house and I still haven’t gotten you a proper engagement ring.”, he sighs. 
“Eddie, I love this ring. It was a part of you and it feels like you’re holding my hand throughout the day.” 
“I don’t deserve you.”, he murmurs with a smile as he kisses your lips before Caleb swats at his cheek. “Hey, hey, dude. She was mine first. Don’t get jealous.”
***
2006
His boots bang along the wood of the back porch as Eddie steps outside to find you laying on the trampoline you had gotten Caleb for his 8th birthday. His son was so ecstatic when he opened the box, begging his father to put it together right that moment. They both spent the evening working as a team to put it together and they laughed the entire time. 
The metal clanked against his belt buckle as he awkwardly climbed up to lay beside you, your eyes closing as you listened to the lighter shut as he lit a cigarette and breathed out the smoke. You would always associate that smell with him. The smell of smoke mixed with his breath that smelled the way he used to taste, intoxicating. The scent of gasoline and his leather jacket when he came home from work. 
Eddie. 
“Do you remember when Caleb broke his arm jumping on this thing and he didn’t even cry?”
The trampoline underneath him shook slightly at your laughter. 
“Yeah, he came in holding his wrist and said ‘Mom, I think we need to go to the doctor.’ Scared the crap out of me.”
“When I showed up at the hospital, he showed me his cast like it was an award or something. He said he was going to be the coolest kid in class.”, he chuckled as you both continued to look up at the sky. “He didn’t need an injury to be cool. Kid was always badass.”
“Do you still love me?”
Taken aback by your question, his head snaps in your direction. 
“Of course, Y/N.”
“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes. For a while I thought maybe this was normal, that we would grow distant as the years passed but…” Your eyes turn to meet his. “…this doesn’t feel normal.”
“What are you trying to say to me right now?”
“Caleb’s an adult now and like you said… you knocked me up. You…you don’t have a reason to stay.”
Eddie blinked as his jaw tightened and you watched his anger flow through his facial features. Rolling off the trampoline, he tosses his cigarette and stomps back into the house, slamming the door for emphasis. 
################
1992
You gnaw on your thumb as you glance towards the kitchen wall clock. Your husband was supposed to be home at 8pm and it was now 11. You had an absolute shit day and wanted to crash early after a long bath but you needed to talk to him about something important. The longer you waited the angrier you became. 
At 11:30pm, the door slowly squeaked open as Eddie tried to quietly sneak in.
“Where have you been?”, you ask sternly eliciting a heavy sigh from him as he shuts the door loudly. “You were supposed to be home four hours ago.”
“I worked late and then Steve invited me out for a beer.”
“It smells like it was more than a beer.”, you sneer as you roll your eyes. “I needed to talk to you about something important but fuck me, right?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. What do you want? What’s so goddamn important you can’t wait till tomorrow.” Without saying a word, you try to head towards your bedroom but he quickly reaches forward to grab your arm. “No, hey, I want to hear it because obviously it’s a big fucking deal.”
Furiously, you smack the paper in your hand into his chest. 
“Your son needs school supplies and other things for next week. I get a discount at my store but I still don’t have enough for that and our mortgage payment.”
“Ok.”, Eddie sighs as he scratches the scruff on his face and looks at the list. “Ok, this isn’t too bad. We can—”
“It’s not just this. He’s going to need money for lunches and his teacher said they are going on a field trip in October and he needs to pay for the ticket. How are we going to afford that?!”
“Y/N, calm down. It’s August. We can cross that bridge when we get there.” Again, you try to leave but he tugs you once more. “What? What is it now?!”
“Eddie, it’s like you don’t care! We need to think of these things!”
“Just because I’m not flipping out like you are doesn’t mean I don’t care!”
“You always do this! You always make me the bad guy!”
“That’s not what I said, Y/N!”
“You don’t think I want to go out and have fun with my friends to?! I wish I could have a beer with Nancy and Robin after work but I can’t because I have to do EVERYTHING around here! And that includes figuring out how our son is going to be able to eat, have the things he needs, and also be allowed to have fun with his friends by going on that field trip!”
“When did you get so fucking uptight?”, he grumbled. 
“When I married you, apparently!”
“Yeah. Well—”
“Daddy?” Caleb’s tiny, sleepy voice cut through your argument as you both turned to face him as he rubbed his little eyes. “Mommy? Why so loud?”
“I’m sorry, baby. Were we being too loud?”
“Uh huh.”
As you step towards him, your son automatically extends his arms so you can lift him and he rests his head on your shoulder. 
“Hey, kid.”, Eddie smiled his way as he lightly tickled the boy’s neck with his finger making him giggle as he keened into you more. “Come on. Let’s get you back in bed.”
The metalhead followed close behind as you head for Caleb’s room and place him under his covers. 
“Mommy? Were you guys fighting because of me?”
Tilting your head to the side, you sat by his legs as you turned to face him. 
“No, baby. Daddy and I weren’t fighting. We were…”, you pause looking at your husband for help. 
“We were…talking incredibly excitedly. LIKE THIS!”, Eddie shouts causing his son to laugh. “Sometimes adults forget to use there inside voice.”
“Like—like Jackie’s parents?”, he asks, you and your husband exchanging a knowing look. 
Jackie was the little girl in the mobile home across the street and who Caleb played with on the weekends. At night, occasionally, you three would hear her parent’s fighting and sometimes she would come over for dinner just to get away. 
“Um, yeah, buddy.”
“Except not as mean. No mean names.”
“Pfft yeah. No mean names. Mommy would kill me if I called her something mean.”, Eddie jokes as he makes a slicing motion with his finger and pretends to fall to the floor dead.
“I would.”, you widen your eyes playfully as he beams your way and you bend down to kiss his forehead. “Alright, go to sleep. I love you.”
“I love you to, mommy. Love you, daddy!”
“Love you to, freak. Ow!”, he chuckles when you lightly slap his chest before winking Caleb’s way. 
After closing his door and heading to your own bedroom, Eddie tugs you into his arms and hugs you to his chest. 
“I’m sorry I was late and made you feel that way. I do care. We’ll get him everything he needs and I’d be more than happy to watch him while you hang out with the girls. He’s a cool kid and I know Wayne has been dying to see him.”
Pushing up on your toes, you tenderly kiss his lips. 
####################
2006
“So, tonight is the night, right?”, your therapist asked during your next session.
It had been a week since your conversation with Eddie on the trampoline and he had barely been home that entire time. You knew where he was because you passed the mechanic shop to get to work and his head was always stuck under the hood of a car he was repairing.  
“Yeah, my parents are doing their annual charity thing and we’re forced to be there.”, you sigh as your whole body deflates. 
“No one is really forcing you, Y/N. You’re a grown woman who can tell her parents no.” The therapists head ticked to the side as your own hung. “Why are you still afraid to stand up to them?”
“I…I don’t know how.”, you whisper causing your husband’s eyes to scan over you before glancing towards the therapist. 
“She did it once and it didn’t end well.”, Eddie explained as he straightened his jacket and sat up a bit. “When she told her mom she was pregnant and marrying me, they told her she wasn’t allowed and how ‘unbecoming’ it was for young ladies or some shit. She told her mom to fuck off and her dad got so pissed.”
You can’t help but smile when he chuckles. 
“I didn’t actually say ‘fuck off’ but I did stand up for you. I just hated the things they were saying about how you were beneath us. Oh my God and then he came towards you like he was going to hit you.”
“You jumped in front of me. I was so pissed off when we got home because you put yourself in harms way.”, he shakes his head before his eyes lock with yours. 
“I’d do it again.”
When his toothy grin softened to a smirk, for a moment, you felt that spark again that ignited within you when you two first met. Did he feel it to?
“What happened after that? Why do you go to this event every year then?”, the therapist asks and the moment passes. 
“Huh? Oh, appearances mostly. Since we got married, I wasn’t viewed as much of a slut as some other single mothers in town. It was fucking stupid but…I wanted Caleb to have his grandparents and at least they were good at that”
“Mhmm. But Caleb is 19 and in college…so why do you keep going?”
You blinked as you took in her words as if she just told you the weirdest thing you had ever heard. You genuinely hadn’t thought about it, pretty much going on impulse at this point. 
“I go for her.”, Eddie answers as he exhales and leans back on the couch. “I wasn’t going to allow her to face that chaos by herself.”
“You’ve always been very protective over Y/N. It’s definitely something I admire about your relationship.”
Your husband shrugs as his gaze shifts to the window behind her. 
“She’s my wife and the love of my life. I’d do anything for her…even leave…if that’s what she wants.”
To your therapist that seemed random but you understood. It was Eddie’s way of telling you that he didn’t want a divorce but if you did, he’d understand. 
“I don’t want you to leave. I want you to fight.”
***
1997
“Hey Grandma!”, Caleb shouts after you take off his jacket and hand it to the man your parents hired to work for the evening. 
“Shhhhhh. Now Caleb, how do we speak when at a social function?”
“We use our inside voice and manners.”, he recited, your son smiling as your mother beams at him and leans down to kiss his cheek. 
“Good boy! Oh my goodness look at you in your little suit. You look so handsome.”
“Thank you ma’am. My dad and I went to the store together.”
“Oh? You never would have been able to guess with the ensemble he’s currently wearing.”
“Mom.”, you scold as Eddie’s fingers twitch slightly around your waist. 
“Always good to see you, Angela. Would you look at that? Steve is by the bar. Excuse me.”
“Mom, they both spent over an hour getting ready for this. Can you please be kind?”
“Hm, I can’t make any promises. Oh, Y/N, it’s Michael and his mother. Didn’t you go to school with him?”
Pointing at something in the distance, you grab your son’s hand and hastily make a getaway to where Steve, Nancy, and Eddie were gathering in a corner. 
“Hey, dude.”
“Hi, Uncle Steve and Aunt Nancy.”, he grins as he leans in to give her a hug around her waist. 
“Are your parents here to, Steve?”, you ask.
“Of course. Wouldn’t miss a chance to show off their wealth for the world.”, the man sasses as he points to where they were mingling with other guests. 
As the night wore on, you saw how it affected your husband as he continually either adjusted his uncomfortable clothes or did whatever he could to maintain a conversation with someone even though anyone that passed by usually only wanted to speak to Steve. 
“Y/N, you need to go talk to Michael before he leaves.”, your mom commands as she tries to pull on your arm. 
“Mom, no. Michael and I aren’t friends nor will we ever be or anything else you try to push on me.”
Narrowing her eyes, she succeeds in pulling you away but instead of towards the other man, she guides you into your old bedroom. 
“Y/N, I’m trying to help you here.”
“How can Michael Wescott help me? I don’t need anything from him.”
“You need a better husband and father for that child.”
Your mouth falls open as her insult pierces your heart. 
“Mom, Eddie is a good husband and a wonderful father. He works hard for us both and I love him. I’m sorry you can’t see what an amazing man he is.”
“No but I can see my only child living in a trailer with barely enough means to get by. Honey, he still hasn’t even gotten you a proper engagement ring and it’s been 10 years!”
“I’m taking them both out of here right now! You never took the time to get to know him like I did. If you had you would see why I love him with all my heart!”
As you open the door, you were met with your husband chugging back the last of the liquid in his glass before tossing it onto the floor where it shattered. 
“Eddie…”
Without saying a word, he grabbed your hand and collected his son so the three of you could leave. 
######################
2006
“What do you think?”, you ask as you step into the living room and display your blue, spaghetti strap evening dress with your hair pulled up and away from your face.
Eddie tore his eyes from the mirror where he had been straightening his tie and when they landed on you, he felt his heart skip a beat. 
“I think…wow, you look fucking amazing, princess.”
It had been so long since you heard him call you that and a heavy sigh left your lips at the sound.
“Th-Thank you, baby.”
Smiling softly, he extended his arm for you to take and guided you to your car. The entire drive to your parent’s house, you took an opportunity you hadn’t in a long time and rested your head on his shoulder. His chest heaved but he leaned his head on your own as his palm rested on your thigh. 
“I think you look handsome to by the way.”, you grin as he pulls into the driveway, flashing you a nervous smile with a little chuckle. 
“Thanks. Let’s see what sarcastic comment your parents have to say. I’m guessing something about me not trying or maybe I’ve gotten too fat to wear a suit.”
“Eddie…you’re not…don’t say it like that.”
“Like what? It’s true, I mean I’m not as scrawny as I was 20 years ago.”
“I like the way you look.”, you sigh before turning to open the car door but his hand on your bicep stops you and your eyes meet his. “We can go back home if you want. Steve and Nancy can’t make it and Caleb isn’t here so—”
“So it’s ok for me to leave you to handle your parents alone while they talk shit about me?”
“Ugh, nevermind.”, you huff as you step out and saunter towards the front door. 
“Y/N, wait. I didn’t mean it like—”
“Y/N! There’s my little girl.”, your father grins wide as he wraps his arms around you. “Where is my grandson?”
“He went back to school a couple of weeks ok, dad.”
“Aw that’s too bad.” Ignoring Eddie’s extended hand, your dad drags you further into the house to find your mother who also ignores your husband as she gives you a hug.
“Oh, baby, you look so beautiful.”
“Thank you. Eddie looks really good as well tonight don’t you think?”
“Edward, oh my. Didn’t even see you there, honey, which is shocking given how much weight you’ve gained since we last saw you.”
“MOM!”
“What!? I’m just saying—”
“No, no, sweetheart. It’s alright. I have put on a couple of pounds but in all the right places. I mean, I’m not just slouching forward because I’m lazy. You know what I mean, Norman.”, Eddie winks as he pats your dad on the arm while you try to contain your smile and for added effect he reaches down to adjust the bulge in his slacks. “Excuse me while I go mingle.”
####################
1984
“I think this is the best Halloween I’ve ever had.”, you beam as Eddie chuckles beside you, continuing to slowly turn the merry go round you two were sitting on with his foot. “I think this is the first year I haven’t dressed up like a princess.”
“Well, Sarah Conner, you’re still a princess to me.”, he grins as he hands you another piece of candy. “Are you cold? You can wear my jacket if you want to.”
“No, Kyle Reese. I think I’m alright.”
His smile widens as you lay back and he does the same, placing his bag of treats and fake rifle that rounded out his ensemble above your heads. 
“My parent’s always do that masquerade thing for Halloween and I always hated it.”
“I can imagine. Being stuck inside with stuffy adults in those Victorian costumes would drive me crazy to. Then again being stuck inside with Wayne in a trailer watching reruns of Stephen King movies isn’t exactly thrilling either.”
Eddie grins when you laugh before it tapers off and you both just lay there in each other’s presence. You had been dating this metalhead for about a month and you appreciated him taking things slow with you but as your eyes scanned him over you suddenly wanted more. 
“Thank you for taking me out tonight and showing me a good time.”
“Of course, sweetheart. I like spending time with you.”
“I was wondering…could you…show me something else?”
Eddie’s foot drags along the ground forcing the merry go round to jerk to a stop as he pushes up onto his elbow to look down at you. 
“W-What, um, what would you like me to, uh, show you?”, he stuttered nervously making you giggle a bit. 
“Could you…show me how to…kiss a boy?”
“I mean, I’ve never kissed a boy myself but…”, he laughs through his teeth and your smile grows. “Yeah, I can show you.”
Your eyes remained locked on his as his palm comes down to cup one of your cheeks and he gradually lowers himself till his lips are hovering just above your own. His breath smells like chocolate and nicotine but there’s also a hint of something else you desperately wanted to identify. As his thumb tenderly caressed your skin, his mouth finally connected to yours and as soon as they did you felt your entire body come to life. 
It was a soft kiss at first but soon grew bolder when you figured out what that additional something else was, Eddie. That was the best way to describe it and it tasted so good that your hand snuck just below his ear to hold him closer. 
Your hips twisted to be closer to him and he didn’t miss a beat as his palm slid down you back to press your lower half harder against him. 
“Eddie.”, you whimper involuntarily as his mouth released yours long enough to catch his breath before diving back in just as eagerly. “Eddie, Eddie, wait.”
At your firm command, his hand came back up to cup your cheek. 
“Are you alright? Did I…Did I go too far?”
“No, no. I just…this is all new to me. I want to go slow.”
“I…I understand. I understand.”, he panted as he wiped your spit from his lips and winced slightly as he rolled over back onto his back. 
It took you a moment but when your eyes glanced along his body, you noticed the large bulge pressing uncomfortably against his jeans. 
“I’m sorry.”, you whisper with a slight crack in your tone that has his head shooting up to look your way before following your eyeline. 
“Hey, sweetheart, no. No reason to be sorry. I’ll be ok. Trust me, I’m a guy with all the hormones. I’ve gotten boners in pretty uncomfortable scenarios believe me.”, he laughs hoping to make you laugh as well. “Don’t ever be sorry about this kind of stuff. I can go as slow as you need me to and I’ll be here, babe. I, um, I really like you…a lot.”
Taking ahold of you, he maneuvers you by his side with your head on his chest. 
“I like you a lot to.”
##############################
2006
You watch with a small smile on your face as your husband talks with some of the other guests at the party and you couldn’t help but think of your therapist’s question as you sipped your drink. 
Why did you keep coming here? 
Habit maybe? Until you met Eddie you really did do everything they wanted completely unsure of what else you should be doing. You went to all their events, smiled, and spoke to anyone they told you to, even wearing clothes they suggested because you had yet to really find your sense of self. When you met the metalhead, he showed you a completely different world that you absolutely enjoyed and loved experiencing with him. 
Even when you both got married and had Caleb, you couldn’t picture anyone else you wanted that life with other than him. Sometimes you wondered what life would be like if you hadn’t met Eddie. You pictured an unhappy girl married to an equally unhappy man who was incredibly vain and never home to see his children. 
Your husband was a wonderful father and a good man to you both. Even now with your marital problems, he still came to therapy with you and never once cheated or hurt you. 
“Y/N!”, you mother called interrupting your thoughts. “Baby, look who I found.”
You didn’t even try to hide your sigh when she pushed Michael forward to shake your hand. 
“Michael. How have you been?”
“Oh, I’ve been good. I just closed a big case and made partner at my firm.”
Your eyes widened sarcastically as you nodded while your mom got a bit too excited, clapping her hands and congratulating him. 
“That’s so amazing! Isn’t it amazing, Y/N?”
“Super. I’m, um, I’m just going to…” As you point towards the balcony, your mother grabs your wrist.
“Y/N, be polite and take him with you.”, she whispers.
“I don’t want to be polite.”, you growl as you pull your arm out of her grasp. “I’m married mom. I have been for 20 years to the man I love and have a son with. Stop pushing Michael on me which by the way is super weird that he’s still single after all this time. Didn’t that thought ever occur to you?”
“No because all I thought about was how my daughter deserves better than a man she was forced to marry because he got her pregnant.”
Rolling your eyes, you hurry outside onto the balcony by the pool and inhale the night air as you try to calm down. 
“Hey Y/N.” Sighing, you turn to face Michael who was slowly walking towards you with his hands in the air. “I just wanted to come and apologize for all that back there. I’ve never been the one to ask your mom to introduce me. She does that on her own.”
“Yeah, she does that.” Your eyes scan him over before giving him a polite smile. “Thank you for coming over to apologize. I really appreciate that.”
“It’s no problem. My own mom is a bit pushy to so I get it then again I haven’t gotten married yet so that could be the problem.”, he chuckles and you can’t help but laugh with him. 
***
2002
Eddie storms into the house after work and slams his keys loudly down on the table before heading to the fridge to pop open a bottle of beer. Slowly getting up from the couch you meet him halfway as his fury filled eyes meet yours. 
“So are you going to tell me why you’re upset or…”
“Doesn’t matter.”, he grumps as he stalks towards the sofa and hurls his body onto it. 
“Obviously it does so why don’t you quit with the foreplay and just tell me.”
When he doesn’t answer, you shrug and head for your bedroom, smirking to yourself slightly when you hear his boots bang against the floor as he follows. 
“I came to visit you at work today. Thought maybe we could have lunch or something.”
“Ok…and you didn’t because…?”
“Because when I got there you were flirting with some asshole.”
“I’m sorry what?”, you ask genuinely confused with a hint of sarcasm. 
“Oh, you don’t know who I’m talking about? Tall, black hair, young, looks like Johnny Depp in Nightmare on Elm Street.” When you giggle, his eyes darken. “Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to but I just can’t believe you’re actually fucking jealous of a twenty-year-old who has a girlfriend by the way. What the fuck is wrong with you? After all this time why would you think I would cheat on you now with some kid from work?”, you reply sarcastically.
“Well, Y/N, you’re not fucking me! So…”
Your eyes widen in shock and you wonder if he can see your heart break. Controlling any tears from escaping, your jaw tightens as you tilt your head.
“You’re right I’m not. Maybe I should fuck him. Wouldn’t be the first time I slept with someone who was beneath me.”
It was an automatic reaction that had Eddie moving before he could stop himself. His hands were around your biceps and suddenly you were against the wall with his nose just inches from your own. His chest rose and fell as angry breaths escaped his nose. 
As quickly as it came, it left with a blink as you saw the darkness recede and the man you fell in love with take over again. His mouth fell open as his eyes continued to run up and down your body as if he was trying to figure out what just happened.
“Mom?” 
Both your heads turned to see your teenage son leaning in the doorway with a concerned look painted on his features. 
“Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m fine. I just had the worst day and your dad was trying to make me feel better. Are you hungry, Caleb? Do you want something to eat?”
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Eddie fold himself as he took a few steps away from you. 
“Um, yeah, but I can make myself something—”
“Oh, don’t be silly. Just give me one moment, ok?”
Nodding, he turned to head towards the kitchen but when you swiveled around to face your husband, he had already disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door.
***
2006
Eddie loved watching you interact with people. He knew who you were before he even introduced himself having seen you skip happily around the school with your books close to your chest like Molly Ringwald in any John Hughes movie. You spoke with your hands and smiled as you nodded your head as you seemingly absorbed what people were saying to take a piece of it with you. 
You had always made him feel heard. 
The metalhead thought he didn’t have a chance with a girl like you but when your beautiful eyes landed on him after bumping into him in the library, he knew he had to try. 
Over the past twenty years, he felt like he slowly watched that light leave you and he knew it was his fault. Just like his dad did with his mother, it was unavoidable. 
Going outside to get away from the people in your parent’s house, he leaned over the rail wishing he could smoke but knew if your mom smelled it on him she would have something to say and he didn’t want to deal with all that right now. 
Suddenly, Eddie heard a sigh in the air and as he peaked around the corner, he saw you exhaling into the night sky. 
The way the wind moved your hair had him smitten all over again as he remembered cold nights of you two sitting on his bed with the window open after making love and you in one of his shirts as you leaned your head outside to feel the breeze while he smoked. 
You would smile and he would randomly reach out to touch your face wondering what the fuck you were doing with him. 
Eddie couldn’t help but huff when another man came out to talk to you. 
Michael; the asshole your mom kept pushing your way. 
You seemed annoyed at first but then you laughed. God, he adored that sound more than anything in the world. The first time Caleb laughed he silently thanked the heavens it sounded exactly like yours. 
“I said no.”, you shouted sternly with eyes filled with anger. 
Pushing at his chest, you tried to walk away but Michael grabbed your forearm to turn you around and Eddie saw red.
#########################
1986
As Eddie starts to take off his suit jacket, he notices you staring at yourself in the mirror above his dresser as you carefully untangle your hair from the veil you had clipped into it. 
An idea crosses his mind and he digs through his records before popping in a cassette and waiting for it to play. 
Meeting his eyes in your reflection, you giggle as the synth fills the room and he reaches for your palm that you eagerly take. Wrapping his arms around your waist, you do the same around his neck as you both begin to sway to the music. 
“When you love someone It feels so right, so warm and true I need to know if you feel it too Maybe I'm wrong Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong?”
As he sings along, your smile grows and at the chorus he scrunches his face as he obnoxious belts out the lyrics.
“I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life I've been waiting for a girl like you, you're a love that will survive I've been waiting for someone new to make me feel alive Yeah, waiting for a girl like you to come into my life”
“You’re such a dork, Eddie Munson.”
“Yeah, but I’m your dork, Y/N Munson.” At the use of your new name, you tilt up on your toes to kiss his lips and lean your head against his chest. “What’s wrong, princess? Thinking about your parents?”
You nod as you continue to sway to the music. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m sure this isn’t exactly how you pictured your wedding day but—”
“Shhhhh.”, you shush as you tilt back and place a finger over his mouth. “I had a great day, baby. Yeah, I wish my mom and dad could accept us but I love you so much. I can’t wait to see what our future holds.”
He sighs as he kisses you again and holds you to him once more. 
“I love you to, sweetheart. You’re safe with me and I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to give you a happy life.”
“As long as I have you, I’m happy.”
***
2006
“Excuse me?”, you ask the man beside you hoping you didn’t hear him correctly.
“Come on. You heard me. You deserve better than the life you have and you we both know people like us aren’t trailer trash.”
“Define ‘people like me’.”
Gesturing towards your parent’s house, he raises an eyebrow as if to signal it should be obvious.
“Wow, no wonder my mother chose you. You’re a fucking asshole.”
“That may be but why don’t you let me take you out to dinner and show you what you’re missing out on.”
“Um, no thanks. I’ll pass.”
As you stand, Michael suddenly blocks you with his body.
“Come on, baby.”
“I said no.”
While trying to walk away, the man grabs your forearm and turns you around, pulling you to his chest.
“I’m not a man you say no to, Y/N.”
“And I’m not a woman you grab. Now let me go.”
When he doesn’t release you, you raise your hand and hit him hard in the face causing him to let you go. You expected and braced to fall onto the concrete so when strong palms catch you, you’re surprised. 
After making sure you’re on both feet and ok, Eddie turns to shove the man hard backward. 
“Don’t ever put your hands on my wife.”
“Or what?”, the man challenges and your husband accepts as he steps forward before you grip his arm to stop him. 
Placing a protective arm around you, Eddie guides you towards the house to head towards the front door. 
“She could have had a good life, Munson! A big house, fancy jewelry, and anything she could want and more. She wouldn’t even have to ask. With my last name things would be handed to her willingly.” 
You saw his jaw tighten as Michael spoke but he continued to ignore him as he grabbed your coat and held it open for you to put your arms through.  
“What’s going on?”, your father asked as he came up from the side. 
“I’m a respected member of Hawkins whose parents helped mold this town. You were just a trailer trash, burn out whose own parents were scum.”
Right as his palm touched the door, he froze and you both listened as the other man stepped closer behind you. 
“Guys like you, Munson, are meant to be the ‘good time’ before women like her marry respectable men like me. Jesus… Your dad was a failure, you’re a failure, and if the accidental pregnancy is any indication so will Caleb. His whole fucking conception was a mistake.”
It was abrupt to everyone in the room except you when Eddie’s fist flew hitting Michael square in the jaw. You didn’t even try to stop him as he headed towards him to hit him more before your parents intervened. 
“That is enough! I will not have this behavior in front of my quests in my own house.”, your mother scolded as she pointed her boney finger at your husband.
“I put up with a lot of bullshit. For over twenty years, I’ve let you ridicule and insult me, put down me and my family, and listen to you whisper in my wife’s ear that she can do better. I have put myself through the ringer including getting on my hands and knees to beg you people to come to our wedding…”
Your eyes scanned him over as tears began to fall from your eyes and your mouth fell open. 
“…yet I’m still just fucking trailer trash that ruined her life? Fuck. You. Yeah, you heard me. We may have had a son and gotten married a bit faster than ‘normal people’ but I always loved your daughter. You think she doesn’t deserve a man like me but over 22 years I’ve learned that she never deserved you as parents. We may have our problems but thank GOD we are nothing like you.” 
“Get out NOW before I call the police! You are no longer welcome here.” Your father shouts as Eddie searches for you, thankful when your hand intertwines with his. “Y/N Y/L/N. If you leave with this man, you will not be welcome back into this house or this family. Any inheritance will be spread elsewhere.”
Chuckling under your breath, you turn to face them still holding the man you love. 
“Honestly, you can take my inheritance and shove it up your ass.” People around the room gasp at your comment as your parents take a step back. “I haven’t been a part of this family since I got pregnant and the only reason we’ve put up with you is because of Caleb.”
“Y/N—”
“No! Jesus, mom, think about it. Eddie may not come from money but at least he doesn’t call my son a mistake.”, you growl towards Michael. “He’s a good man but you can’t look past your own selfishness to see that. If you want to apologize to me and my husband you know where we are. Until then, fuck you.”
As you both turn to leave, you pause to face them one more time. 
“Oh, and it’s Y/N Munson, not Y/L/N.”
##############
1985
“I have a confession to make.”, Eddie breathily laughs as he holds the condom between his fingers. “I’ve never done this before…sex…like actual sex. I’ve done stuff but not like…fuck I’m coming off like an ass.”
You smile as you sit up with his blanket wrapped around your naked body and lean your cheek on his shoulder. 
“No, baby, you’re not. I’ve never…you’re going to be my first to.”
Swallowing, he tilts forward to kiss your forehead. 
“I just don’t want you to be disappointed.”, he whispers.
“As long as I’m with you, I won’t be. I trust you, Eddie.”
Reaching over him, you take the condom from his hand and tear it open like they showed students in health class before sliding it onto his hard, leaking cock. The metalhead hisses slightly at your touch, holding his breath as your palm rubs along his shaft through the rubber barrier. 
“How does that feel?”, you murmur as your eyes watch his face. 
“Feels…good.” When he finally opens his own eyes and sees your smile, he realizes you were asking about the condom. “Oh, I mean, yeah. That feels good to. It’s on there correctly. I’m just going to stop talking.”
Shaking your head, you take hold of his biceps and pull him on top of you, adjusting the blanket over you both. 
“Don’t you dare. I need to hear you.”
“O-Okay.”
Opening your legs wider for him, Eddie reaches between your bodies to take hold of himself and run the head of his length between your folds.
You jump slightly, licking your lips as he occasionally grazes your clit. 
“I’m—fuck—I’m gonna lean back on my knees. Is that ok? I feel like I’ll have more control so I don’t…I don’t hurt you as much.”
After getting your ok, he pushes up onto his knees and continues to run himself between your pussy lips while his free hand massages your thigh.
“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I’m going to push in now, ok? If you want me to stop just let me know.”
Before this moment, Eddie had asked Steve a ton of questions about what he should do and how best to not hurt you. Nothing, however, prepared him for the immense pleasure he felt when he gradually began guiding his cock inside of you.
“Oh—Oh my God.”
“Are you alright?”
“Y-Yeah, baby. Just—fuck—you feel so fucking good.”
“I do?”
When he aggressively nods his head, you both feel your pussy flutter around him making you both moan; him much louder than you. You were doing all right as he continued, the stretch of him burning but not enough to want to stop. It wasn’t until he had half his cock inside you that you sucked in a breath and his eyes shot up to see yours squeeze closed as your face scrunched in pain.
“Do you need me to stop?”
“N-No. No. Just hang on a minute.”
Nodding, he remembered something his friend told him and you listened as he licked his thumb and gently rubbed slow circles against your clit. 
“Oh f-fuck, Eddie.”
“Yeah, honey? Does that feel good? Fuck me. I’m gonna thrust a bit but I won’t go deeper till you tell me.”
You allowed him to do that till you felt the pain subside and pleasure begin to take over again. Reaching for his arms, you brought him down till he was hovering over you once more and you wrapped your legs around his waist. 
“More.”
“You want more?”, Eddie whispered against your lips before placing a tender kiss against them as he pushed deeper inside of you. “Fuck, Y/N. You are so tight around my dick. I’m almost all the way in.”
“Give it to me, baby, please.”
“Oh my god.”, he mewled as his lips attached to your neck and your arms wrapped around his shoulders. With a rough roll of his hips, you felt the head of his cock nudge something only his fingers had ever touched and your nails dug into his skin as he grunted into yours. 
“Jus—Just like that, Eddie.”
“Like that? Can I take over, baby? Is that ok?”
When you nod, his entire body falls flat against your own with his hand snaking behind your head to hold to him as your own hands slid to his lower back as if to guide his movements. His rhythm hastened and the grunts that were echoing in your ears were the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. 
He seemed to get almost lost in the experience as his hips were hitting you so hard his bed underneath you began to shake. That familiar feeling built up in your stomach but much intensely than you had ever felt before. 
“Eddie…I think I’m…about to cum.”
As your cunt clung tightly to him, you shuttered against him as the coil snapped. 
“Oh my God…Y/N…” His pace sputtered as he a bit aggressively slammed his hips against your own as a strangled moan fell from his lips and his full body weight collapsed on top of you. 
You both panted as you tried to catch your breathes, him gently kissing your cheek before carefully pushing up onto his palms. 
“Ow.”, you groaned as your hand abruptly flew to his back to stop him. “Go slow.”
Nodding, he kissed your forehead and allowed you to guide him as you pressed your palm to the lower half of his tummy while he gradually removed his now soft cock from your extremely sore entrance.
After removing and tying off the condom, he threw it in the trash and rose to his feet. 
“Do you think you can walk to the shower?”
“I…don’t think so…it really hurts.”
Eddie blinks as he almost haphazardly picks you up and quickly scurries to the bathroom. 
“Oh, Y/N. Fuck. I was too rough wasn’t I? Fuck!”
Following his eyeline, you see the light blood that was attached to your thigh and you can’t help but smile as you grab his wrist to bring him to you. 
“Eddie, baby, that’s normal. Or at least that’s what the sex ed teacher says after girls lose their virginity.”
Relief paints his face before he guides you into the shower and stands with you under the hot water. 
“Was I…to rough? I just…I tried to do everything so it didn’t hurt you but I think near the end there—”
“I love when you get all nervous and stutter.”, you giggle as you tilt up to kiss his lips. “You weren’t too rough. I have a feeling I’m going to feel you the next couple of days and…I don’t mind.” You smile when his breathing hiccups a bit at your admission. “Did you…was I…did you like being with me?”
Eddie chuckled a bit under his breath as if you had asked him the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. 
“Y/N, I loved being with you. I love you…so much, pretty girl.”
Circling your arms around him, you held him tightly as he does the same. 
“I love you to.”
#################
2006
Silently, you both entered your home and Eddie’s eyes followed you as you disappeared before reappearing with the first aid kit you kept in the bathroom. After taking off his jacket, he rolled up his sleeves and automatically held his hand out for you so you could clean the cuts on his knuckles. 
When he hissed loudly, you jumped as panic flooded your face before you realized he was playing with you and you lightly hit his chest with the back of your hand as he laughed through his teeth. 
“Dork.”
“I never stopped.”
“Being a dork? I know.”
“No, loving you.” When your gaze shifted to meet his, he continued. “You asked me that night on the trampoline if I still loved you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
Swallowing your tears, you threw the cotton ball onto the table at your side and reached for the gauze to tape around his cuts. 
“Why didn’t you say that at the time? You just left.”
“I hated that I made you think for one minute that I didn’t. That I made you…question it.”
Biting your cheek, you wonder if you should tell him what’s on your mind but since he’s being so open, you wanted to return the favor.
“I’ve been wondering for a while. I just feel like we aren’t the same, you know? I’ve spent so much time going over our marriage wondering what happened. Wondering…what I did wrong.”
When your voice cracked, Eddie scooted closer to you and took his hand out of your grasp to lift your face.
“You did nothing wrong, Y/N. Do you hear me?”, he replied sternly as his thumb tried to catch any lingering tears that fell. “If anything, I did. There were times I saw myself becoming my father and—”
“Eddie Munson, what the fuck are you talking about? You are nothing like your dad.”
Shaking his head, he released you from his hold as his eyes searched through the void, trying to find the words to express what he was feeling properly. 
“Your parents and people in this town always said I was ruining your life especially after I got you pregnant. No, hey. Let me get this out.”, he scolded as your mouth opened to interrupt him. “Please. I told myself they were fucking stupid because no one knew and understood you like I did. I loved my life with you. The first time I heard my last name attached to your first, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. The first time I held Caleb in my arms, all my fears of being dad just melted away.
It wasn’t until I tried to find us a house but all we could afford and get approved for was this mobile piece of shit.”, he sighs as he gestures around you two. “That was the first time I felt like I failed you but I pushed it down, you know? Then our 5-year anniversary rolled around and I still hadn’t gotten you a proper ring. 10 years and we still couldn’t get a house. When Caleb was nine and you wanted the three of us to go on vacation but that storm blew in and damaged the car so we couldn’t afford it. With every fight and every sad look on your face, I blamed myself but I pushed it away until…”
“Until what?”, you encouraged. 
“There was that night I came home and accused you of cheating. I said those things… and then I pushed you… listened to you cover for me with Caleb. I just saw my own childhood and everything my mom went through before she died… I didn’t know how to…”
“Eddie why didn’t you say anything? We could have talked about it. You…”, you sigh as you close your eyes and try to think. “We both said some things that night and…you’re nothing like him, honey. You’ve always been such an amazing father and husband. God…I felt you pulling away and I didn’t know how to get you back. Eddie, if for one moment I thought you were like him I never would have married you.”
“I just didn’t want to hurt you again. I didn’t realize by doing that and keeping my distance so to speak I was anyway. I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
You wrap your arms around him, hugging him close to your chest. 
“I’m sorry to.”, you whimper into his shoulder before pulling back to run your fingers through his hair. “I don’t care about the…house and the ring by the way. As long as I’m with you none of that matters.”
His chocolate eyes search your features before Eddie slightly nods and rises to his feet. You listen to him scrounge around your shared bedroom before he suddenly reappears and places himself beside you again. 
“I was going to give this to you on our actual anniversary but I think now is the right time.”, he smiles and hands you a tiny box with purple bow on top. 
Smirking his way, you remove the wrapping and time seems to stop as you open the box to see a beautiful ring inside. The red diamond stone was nestled into its nook making it look like a rose with vines circling around the silver band and skulls on either side. Your husband’s gaze continually scanned over your face trying to gage if you liked it or not. 
“I, um, it took me a while to save for this but when Caleb got that scholarship for his college I felt more comfortable putting more and more money away for this. I-I-I wanted to make sure it had the skulls since you like my ring so much and then I got the—the red stone because you were always such a welcome contrast to my dark, nerdy lifestyle growing up.”, he chuckles as he watches you slide it slowly onto your finger. “Do you like it? If-If not, I can return it and maybe we can go together—”
Your lips cut him off as they crash to his own. 
“It’s perfect, Eddie. I love it. I love you.”
#############
2005
“Oh, mom, don’t cry. I’m not going away forever.”, Caleb teases as he tries to calm you while you cling to him with your arms circled around his waist. 
“I can’t help it. I’m just so proud of you.”
Your husband laughs behind you as he steps forward and delicately pries you away from your son. 
“Come on, Y/N. Kid has a plane to catch.”
Nodding, you release him fully before tilting up to kiss his cheek. 
“Now remember if you need anything—”
“I know, mom! I know. Just call.”, he giggles making you smile. 
After taking a step back, Eddie takes a step forward and pulls his son into his embrace. It always amazed you how similar they both looked especially as Caleb got older. Even though your son kept his hair short, the brown waves had a mind of their own making styling a nightmare when he was smaller. As a teenager, he just decided to leave it be and let it run wild on his head. He seemed to have your laugh and nose but his smile and eyes were all Eddie. 
“Let us know when you land and tell us how your first day goes. I’m still curious what one does in analytical ethics.”, your husband laughs as Caleb smiles. “I love you, son. I’m so proud of you.”
“I love you to, dad.”
Saying goodbye one last time, you lean into Eddie’s side as you both watch your only child head towards security.
“Are you alright?”
“I don’t know.”, you answer honestly. “You?”
“I don’t know either. I know I’m going to miss him but I think we did a good job raising him into an adult.”
Turning fully into his chest, he held you tightly to him and gently pet your head as he listened to you cry. 
***
Your back hits the hallway wall hard as both your lips refuse to detach from the other. There was a needy, feverish energy between you and Eddie that had spent years building and was now exploding in a flurry of heated touches. 
Your hand slid down his chest to the prominent bulge in his slacks and you both groaned as he rolled his hips against your palm. 
“Fuck, Eddie, please. Let me…let me taste you. It’s been so long.”
His lips don’t leave yours but you hear the clanking of his belt as he unbuckles it and pushes down his pants. Leaving tender little kisses on his skin along your path down to your knees, your husband exhales heavily when your fingers wrap around him and your tongue licks the little droplets of precum that lingered on the tip. 
“Shit, sweetheart. I’ve missed your mouth.”
Pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail, you feel his eyes on you as he mewls and watches you take him all the way to the back of your throat. You bob your head up and down, relishing the sounds of him falling apart as he gradually thrusts his hips against your movements. 
Your eyes lock as you glance up, knowing what you’re about to do will drive him crazy. Clinging to his thighs, you descend lower onto his cock, and freeze allowing your throat to constrict around him as you slightly gag. 
“FUCK, baby! That’s…That’s it.” When you pull back, you stroke your spit with your hand along his shaft before doing it again and feeling giddy when you see his eyes squeeze shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Come…come here, pretty girl.”
Pulling you up by your bicep, you still continue to stroke him while he licks two of his fingers and reaches down to rub your clit as his forehead falls on yours. 
“Jesus, you’re so fucking wet. Listen to how—mmph—how fucking wet she is.”, he whispers as he guides two of his fingers into your entrance. “You’re so fucking beautiful like this, Y/N. Your—fuck—your little pussy just tightened around my fingers. Do you like hearing me talk to you while my fingers are inside you?”
“Y-Yes. Fuck, yes Eddie. I missed it so much.”
Pressing his body against yours, his arm locked at the elbow as his rhythm hastened. 
“Cum for me, princess. I want you to drench my hand so I can smell you. I love the way you smell, taste, and feel. I—oh my God—I love that you’re mine.”
Your arms circle around his shoulders as you cling to him tightly. 
“S-Say it again.”
His sexy chuckle has your eyes rolling as he tilts down to kiss the shell of your ear. 
“You’re mine, Y/N. You’ve always been mine. You’re my everything, sweetheart.”
Your body trembles as the coil snaps and you grind your hips against his digits to elongate your high. 
“More.”
Eddie didn’t waste a second as he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom causing you to giggle when he light-heartedly tossed you onto the bed. After pulling off your dress and removing the rest of his own attire, he kissed up your back as you laid on your tummy waiting for him. 
“I’m not too heavy right?”, he asks as he lays some of his weight against you. 
Pressing your back up against his chest, you twist your head to reach his lips. 
“No, baby. You feel good.” Smiling, he reaches between your bodies and guides his cock into your cunt. “F-Fuck, Eddie.”
“I know, sweetie, I know.”, he murmurs as his hand intertwines with yours by your head. “Still so fucking tight.”, he babbles as he does little thrusts to help you get reaccustomed to his size. 
You never needed much time; you loved the stretch and the slight delicious burn that followed before pleasure fully took over. 
“Please, baby. I need you.”
“You need me, Y/N?”
“Always.”
Trying to keep as much of his weight on his elbows, Eddie began pumping his hips and you both moaned at the feeling of each other again. Throughout the last few years of your marriage, there had been quickies with no real thought behind it, just the need for a release. The last year and a half you two hadn’t done anything at all and it killed you. 
Feeling him this close to you as he moaned and whispered in your ear was everything to you and more. 
“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.”, Eddie cooed as he brushed some of your hair away from your face. “What’s wrong, honey? Why are you crying?”
“I just…I missed you so much. I know…you’ve been here but…you haven’t really been…here.”
“I know, baby. I’m so sorry. That’s never going to happen again because you know how… I was always waiting for a girl like you…” Your husband grins widely at the sound of your laugh as he lightly continues to sing. “…to come into my life. I love you, Y/N.”
After kissing the back of his hand, Eddie starts thrusting into you again, leaving little pecks below your ear as you moan his name encouragingly. Laying his full weight against your back, he rolls his hips pushing his length so deep inside you, your eyes practically roll out of your skull. 
“Fuck, Ed-Eddie. Just like that. So—so deep.”
Tattooed arms wrap around you and your husband brings you with him as he falls onto his side, his palm digging into your thigh as he lifts your leg in the air. 
“Cum for me, pretty girl. Cum on my dick.” Licking your fingers, you bring them down to rub your clit in fast circles, matching his pace as he pounds into you. “Atta girl. You got it, sweetheart.”
When he felt your body begin to shake, he dropped your leg, hugging you flat against his chest and stomach as he slammed his cock roughly into that sensitive spot inside till you both felt the coil snap once more.
“Ah my God. Good girl. Good girl, baby. I’m gonna cum to.”
“Mmph—please, baby. Cum inside me. Please, Eddie.”
A strangled string of grunts left his lips as he rutted against you till his limbs squeezed you tightly and you felt him warm your insides. 
###################
1984
“Oof, Jesus fucking shit!”, Eddie shouted as something hard bumped into his back. 
“Edward Munson!”, the librarian whisper screeched his way as he held up his palm to silently apologize. 
When he turned around to see what asshole hit him, his intense eyes landed on your worried ones. 
“I am so sorry. I was trying to get that book up there but I tripped. I’m so sorry.”
Time seemed to freeze as the metalhead visually took you in. He had seen you around before talking with other members of the student body. You were in a school ran club like Student Council so you seemed to easily flow through each clique even going to the ones your ‘friends’ never seemed to want to talk to. 
He remembered Gareth talking about you in passing saying that you were incredibly sweet for a ‘preppy, rich girl’. Looking at you now, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to you than what was on the surface. 
“Um, again. I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
“Huh? Oh, no, excuse me. I’m being an asshole. I’m fine. No, physical damage.”
“But there’s emotional damage?”, you tease eliciting a soft smile from him. 
“Of course. It’s not every day a beautiful girl pushes me. I’m going to be expecting that all the time and my hearts going to get broken when it doesn’t.”
“Hm, well, there are plenty of beautiful girls at this school so I promise it will happen again.”
“None of them are as beautiful as you.”
You blinked, taken aback by his confidence as you blushed and smirked his way. Eddie would later tell you he had no idea where that confidence came from but it was always the truth. 
The older boy smiled as he reached above you effortlessly to grab the book you had been trying to get before holding it out for you to take. 
“I’m Eddie. Eddie Munson.”
After taking the book, you reach into your bag and grab a pen before taking a hold of his arm. When your fingers touched his skin, an electricity ignited through him that he had never felt before and he had to control the urge to hug you to his chest.
“That’s my phone number, Eddie Munson. You should call me some time. I’ll be home after school today… around 4.”
“O-Okay. I’ll, um, I mean I should be free around that time.”
Eddie flushed with embarrassment as he tried to come off as nonchalant as you giggle lightheartedly at him stuttering over his words. He learned in that moment he adored the sound of your laugh. 
“I can’t wait. I’m Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”
***
You stirred at the sound of your phone ringing, reaching over to grab the cordless from the receiver. 
“Hello?”
“Shit. Hey, mom. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, baby. It’s alright. Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to check in since I know last night was grandma and grandpa’s charity thing. Everything go alright or were they rude as usual?”
“Rude as usual.”, you sigh as you roll onto your back and grin at Eddie’s completely knocked out frame. “Your father punched somebody.”
“Oh, go dad.”, he laughed. “I’m sure that person deserved it knowing him. I’m really sorry. Grandma and Grandpa are old fashioned, you know? Maybe one day they’ll catch up with the times.”
“Yeah but if not that’s ok. I have you both.”
“Yeah…I love you, mom. I loved my childhood and I’m proud to be your son; you and dad. Fuck, Hawkins.”
“Caleb…you’re going to make me cry.”, you start to hiccup before he giggles again. “Did you want to talk to Eddie?”
“Naw, let him sleep and I’ll talk to him later. I’d text him but he hasn’t quite figured that part of technology out yet.”
“Oh yeah no. When it comes to technology, he turns into Wayne. ‘Why are the buttons so small? Why do I have to push it four times to get to one letter!’”, you mimic as you and your son laugh. 
“You two are rude.”, Eddie responds groggily as he rubs his eyes with his hands. 
“Uh oh, Caleb. We got caught.”, you tease. “Alright, baby. Have fun and we’ll talk to you later. I love you.”
“Love ya, kid.”, your husband mumbles as you try to tilt the phone closer to him. 
“Love you guys to.”
After hanging up the phone, you roll onto your side and curl up into his chest as his fingers start to play with your hair. 
“What did the butthead want?”
“He was calling to check in about the charity thing last night. I told him you fought for my honor.”
“Hm, yeah I did.”, he smiles. “And so did you. ‘It’s Y/N Munson.’”, Eddie mimes in a high-pitched voice with his grin growing as you laugh. 
As he settles, your eyes trace over his tattoos on his chest and the man softly sighs when your fingers trace over yours and your son’s name.
“I love you, Edward Munson. I know we’ve had our bumps but I don’t resent my life with you. Every day with you and Caleb has been an adventure. I’m excited to see where we go from here.”
His eyes that had previously been closed fluttered open when you finished speaking and he carefully rolled onto his side to face you. 
“I love you to, Y/N Y/L/N. I meant what I said last night. I promise to be more open with my feelings and talk to you. I don’t want us to go back to how things have been. We have the rest of our lives to be together and we’re going to make the most of it.”
You smile as you press your body to his chest and nuzzle your nose into his neck. 
“From the moment I wake up 'til deep in the night. There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be than holding you tenderly.”
Eddie chuckles in his throat as you sing, tilting your head back so he can kiss your lips again before whispering, “I've been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I've been waiting for a girl like you, you're a love that will survive.”
####################
@myherometalhead @dashingdeb16 @micheledawn1975 @hardladyheart
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alchemistc · 3 months
Text
There's been something about the woobification of Buck that's been sitting on the tip of my tongue for weeks now, and I think I've finally figured it out.
This is, of course, mostly in reference to the moral outrage about a decade-ish (give or take) age gap between two adult men and the infantalization of one said grown man, so all the puritanism isn't really coming from a place of good faith anyway, but here's the thing that's been bugging me that I couldn't quite put a finger on until now.
Buck has people he goes to for certain things. He has, what are in his mind, experts in the field for most of the things he can't think through on his own, that he goes to for a sounding board.
He went to Hen to talk through the sperm donor dilemma for a few reasons that made sense to him. 1) She's a mom. She has very much had to deal with the reality of 'giving up' children she considered her own. Buck is aware that he would be giving up something that could mean something to him, and he wants to talk to someone who has some insight into that. 2) She's dealt with IVF. She knows the risks, she knows the trials and tribulations, she knows about this thing that he is thinking about agreeing to be a part of so she's going to have a fuller grasp on the enormity of everything this process entails.
And they drink about it. Hen gives him what she can and cautions him where she thinks she should and they continue to talk about it and regardless of what SHE thinks, he makes his mind up in part because he got to talk to his Expert.
Bobby is often his go to when he feels like he's losing his grip on things. He's seen Bobby staring down the bottom of the bottle. He's seen the work he's done to pull himself back into the world, and he's seen the way he fights for his family, his people. Buck leans on him in times of questioning himself because he knows Bobby has pulled himself off the ledge with bleeding hands and a bleeding heart.
He reaches out to Maddie about interpersonal shit constantly. We see it all the way back in S2 when he's starting to question what the hell he's still doing in Abby's apartment, and that never really changes. She's the one with advice for him when he's angry with his parents, upset with the firefam, worried about his friends, or just generally concerned with the way he's perceived by people or how he perceives the world. He goes to her when he's embarrassed, ashamed, because he knows she won't judge him for it. She'll call him out, for sure, but she's not going to look at him differently when she knows he's done something he considers bad behavior.
When he goes to her during the Tommy arc, he's there for one reason he'll admit, and another she has to ferret out. 1) He lied to his best friend and he doesn't know why. 2) Oh yeah he went on a date with a dude that's not strange WHY IS THAT STRANGE I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ALLY PLEASE DON'T PULL BACK THE CURTAIN - and Maddie is there with two things: 1) It's not weird but it IS new and something you clearly haven't worked through all the way which is why 2) you'll tell Eddie when you're ready
And Eddie is sort of his go-to to bounce ideas off of. Eddie is his Buck expert. Eddie is the guy who can sort through all the bullshit and who sees Buck for exactly who he is, every time, regardless of what Buck himself is thinking. Eddie is his best friend, and he knows the good the bad and the ugly better than anyone else. He is also, quite frankly, the one Buck seeks out to help him contextualize all of his romantic feelings for people. Eddie's the guy he talks to when he's interested in someone, when he's falling for someone, he's the guy through which Buck filters his love interests into the firefam. I do the same shit with my best friend. It's instinct to want the person you consider the expert on you to meet the person you are interested in, it's instinct to want them to like each other, to get along. Buck knows Eddie loves him (in whatever way you see that love, Buck knows Eddie loves him) and he wants this person who loves him to be at least an active listener as he talks himself through the minefield of relationships. I do also think that up until the events of season seven, Buck considers Eddie sort of an expert on that traditional love-marriage-kids-white-picket-fence relationship Buck thinks he's striving for - in a very naive way, because obviously the wasn't what Eddie and Shannon had and Buck knows that, but he's probably fed some of Eddie's rose colored reminiscences back into that notion.
When he comes out to Eddie he's got two worries. 1) I lied to you and I figured out why but I'm still a little worried you think it's weird and 2) I screwed it up with someone I really like and I don't know where to go from here.
And Eddie (Buck expert) reassures him that just because it's new and unexpected doesn't make it strange, that it doesn't change anything in their friendship. And then he gets right to the heart of it - if you like him you should reach out and tell him that. He doesn't know you like we do but if you give him the chance to, he'll love you as much as we do. If he doesn't give it the same shot you want to he's the idiot.
With all that context in mind, Buck isn't seeking out Tommy's attention because he wants an authority figure, or someone to take care of him, someone to guide him through sex or love or relationship dynamics or any of the other random shit I've seen ppl infantalizing Buck about.
What he's looking for, and what he ultimately tells Tommy he'd like to pursue, is a partnership. Someone to walk (or more likely for Buck, speedrun) through experiences together. The Athena to his Bobby, the Chim to his Maddie, the Karen to his Hen.
So every time I see someone infantalizing Buck for seeking out a relationship with an older man for X or Y reason, I'm just like - no. He has Bobby, Hen, Maddie, Eddie, Chim etc for that. He doesn't want or need Tommy for that. He is a grown ass man who has built these strong relationships with his peers and his mentors and he is so fucking aware of that because he reaches for their help any time he feels the urge for a helping hand.
So yeah, Tommy's older. Yes, Tommy has more experience with his sexuality than Buck. And that - that's really it. Buck's been in the same career for more than half a decade. He's lived on his own since he was no older than 19/20. He's had serious relationships, he has a rich and fulfilling life. There is no power imbalance in the relationship between Buck and Tommy.
And while the age gap may be a bit of a draw for Buck, it's not WHY he's attracted to Tommy. We know because he's told Maddie. He's cool. He's interesting. He's confident. He has a cleft.
Buck isn't going into this waiting for someone older and more experienced to take the fucking reins. He felt like he clicked with Tommy, like there was an immediate connection, and yes, Tommy had to kiss him about it for Buck to actually figure out what it was he was experiencing, but from that point on it was all on Buck (and the people he leans on for advice) to help him sort through.
Tommy didn't do shit other than pump the brakes and try to give Buck the space he thought he needed to decide what he was ready for. Buck (again, with the help of his experts - Maddie for the emotional piece of it, Eddie for the Buck of it all) did the work on his own. Tommy didn't swoop in and overbearingly hold his hand through a sexual awakening. He kissed him, asked him out, realized he wasn't ready, stepped back and then checked in multiple times when Buck came back at it going 120 miles an hour.
And then he did everything he could to prove to Buck he wanted the same thing - a partner, someone to talk to, and lean on, and flirt with and rely on to show up whenever they could feasibly manage it (and sometimes when it's a little unfeasible too).
The narrative even acknowledges that Buck had no reason to go to Bobby in this scenario, when he often would, and lays out exactly why.
Within the canon of this particular arc, we're meant to see this as Buck realizing he has the experience necessary to think these things through on his own. This is Buck finally taking control of something that's always felt like it fell into his lap a bit. This is Buck doing more than treading water until his legs give out.
And minimizing that growth bc you personally don't like the LI he's pursuing is gross at best. At worst it's something much more insidious.
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