#but also would have greatly appreciated if i had someone like Bucky to comfort me and cheer me for braving through that

[basicrese]

“… We have to make mistakes to fix them for the future yeah?”

maybe i sobbed 🤩

Please can I hold you? - Bucky.Barnes x Reader

Hello my loves,

I'm trying to be better this year at writing.

Summary: Y/N leaves, and Bucky tries his hardest to fix it.

TW: Kissing, trauma, family trauma, shouting, swearing, (let me know if I've missed some)

January 1st, it was supposed to be their year. They had promised each other that this was it, Bucky and Y/N. Bucky had promised no more long missions away from Y/N, Y/N had promised that she would move in with Bucky so they could finally spend more time together. A good year was what they wanted, what they deserved, what they needed.  But here they were screaming at each other over Bucky not kissing Y/N at midnight. Y/N had explained to Bucky multiple times that she was at the edge, she couldn’t cope anymore with arguing, and whilst Bucky never admitted it, he hated it just as much, if not more than Y/N. Yet here they were. 

“And another thing, I didn’t even want to go to Nat’s stupid New Year’s eve party” Bucky screamed ‘I wanted to be at home with you’ was the bit he failed to include in his insult. 

“You told me you wanted to be with people you loved on New Year’s Eve, I thought it would be fun” She shouted back “You think it was fun for me? Because it fucking wasn’t. All I wanted to do was come home, the whole night, but you wanted to keep drinking” She seethed, Bucky wanted to tell her it wasn’t true. He didn’t want to drink, but he stupidly got caught up in the party. 

“Now you’re going to get at me for drinking? Like you don’t do it every single weekend” He shouted, “Thor never brings that fucking mead, I deserved to have a nice night” He was being mean intentionally, but he couldn’t stop. 

“I never said you didn’t Buck” She said her voice suddenly quieter, Bucky should have noticed it was because she was getting upset but he didn’t. 

“Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been working? I just wanted one nice night” Bucky should have stopped himself, he knows he should stop but he couldn’t. He was angry at himself for not putting his foot down and saying he wanted to spend time with just Y/N. 

“One nice night?” Y/N parroted “The nights we have aren’t nice? Is that what you’re saying?” 

“No! You’re twisting my words” Bucky snapped, he spoke with insecurity but it came across as anger and Y/N didn’t like that 

“Because I’m the bad guy right? James Bucky Barnes can’t put a foot wrong, but I can. That’s all I do right?” Y/N said, her fears coming to the surface. The insecurity was all from her messed up childhood, Bucky knew that from their late night chats, when they’d lay next to each other and confess everything, but he didn’t realise that the fear was seeping into their relationship. 

“That’s not what this is about” Bucky said realising suddenly how far he had taken the fight, and how distraught Y/N was becoming 

“Isn’t it?” Y/N snapped, her eyes locked onto Bucky as a target.

“You’re making this worse than it needs to be” Bucky said, unknowingly adding more fuel to the fire 

“Yeah that’s me isn’t it? Making everything worse. Don’t worry Buck, I get it” She snapped turning away from Bucky 

“Where the hell are you going?” He called after her 

“Downstairs Buck, I need some space away from you right now” She stormed out of their bedroom and down the stairs. Bucky sat down on their bed with his head in his hands, he had just fucked everything up. 

Taking a deep breath Bucky decided to set an alarm for 10 minutes, and once it had gone off he would go and speak to Y/N calmly about his feelings. That was how they were going to fix it. He knew he had messed up but he would fix it. 

Y/N stood in their hallway, and listened to Bucky close their bedroom door. She knew she had blown things out of proportion, she had made things worse. The little voice in her head told her she had messed things up seriously this time. There was no coming back from this. Bucky hated her, she knew that much. The thought along was enough to almost break her, pulling on her trainers she left the house silently, following the little voice down the streets. She twisted and turned around the streets she used to love walking with Bucky, but now they just felt like they were taunting her as she remembered the kisses they had shared at the bus stop, and the stray cat they had wanted to adopt by the street corner.  She couldn’t cope with it, so she began to run. 

The wind blew in her ears, the kind of fierce that stopped her from having to think, it was dark and the street lamps did little to ease her discomfort. She was on her way home, in the desperate hope that Bucky was asleep, or at Steve’s or Sam’s. She had no idea of the time,  having left her phone at home in Bucky’s jacket pocket most likely, but she sent a silent prayer to the sky that it was late enough that Bucky wouldn’t still be around. She couldn’t face him, not after everything she had done. Her mother was right, she wasn’t made for relationships, she would always mess them up, and now she had screwed up the only good thing she had going for her. This was it. She was done. Y/N didn’t notice the way her hands shivered a little with the cold biting wind, with her furious mood and growing insecurity she had forgotten a coat.  As she turned onto her and Bucky’s street the tears started again, this really was the end. Her and Bucky were about to be done, finished, ended. 

So much for their year. She mused to herself silently, revelling in the cruel twist of fate, her mother was right. 

Pushing the handle of the door down quietly, in the hope to not wake Bucky if he was in, Y/N creaked the door open. She took a shaky step into the house, listening out for Bucky. When she was satisfied that there was no sound of him she closed the door behind her and took off her shoes. 

“Y/N?” Bucky’s shaky voice called out, she froze. “Baby?” He said coming into the hall, Y/N put her hand back on the door handle, she was ready to run again, this was not a conversation she was ready to have. 

“Don’t you dare ever scare me like that again” He said wrapping his arms around her tensed body, Y/N kept herself tensed, she was ready to run if she needed. 

“I know you’re scared, I know you think you’ve messed this all up but I swear to you this whole argument is on me” he said refusing to let her out of his embrace, 

“Bucky stop” she said quietly 

“I’m sorry” He said dropping his arms, she looked up at him with red eyes “Could you come and sit down in the lounge for me?” He asked 

“I should go” 

“No” Bucky said “You’re going to come and sit down and we are going to talk about this, because we are bigger than your insecurities and we are going to fix this” he said, 

“Oh,” Y/N said “oh” She repeated once the words had settled into her head “You aren’t breaking up with me?” 

“Come on doll, come sit down for me?” He said 

“Ok” She said, following Bucky through their house. 

Y/N settled herself into an armchair, where she could curl her legs up underneath herself. Bucky opted for the sofa opposite her, picking up on the fact that she didn’t want to touch him just yet. 

“Before we start, the next time you need to get away you tell me where you’re going. I was terrified doll, I know the kind of people that are out there and if you need space, please let me come with you. I promise I won’t walk beside you or speak to you but I need to know you are safe.” Bucky said “Please?” 

“I’m sorry Buck” She said,

“No apologies. We have to make mistakes to fix them for the future yeah?” He said 

“I don think I can do this Bucky. All your friends hate me, I invited you to a party you didn’t want to be at, I asked you to cut down your missions. Everything I do, makes me the issue in this relationship” She said, 

“That’s not true, everyone loves you—”

“No they don’t, they put up with me” 

“No, no, Y/N. Please don’t do this. I know you’re spiralling, I know that you’ve always been made to believe that its your fault. But I swear to you this one is on me. I wanted to spend New Years Eve with just you. I wanted to kiss you at midnight, but I fucked up. I got drunk and neglected you. You should have been my priority at midnight, not that stupid drink” 

“I should’ve let you have fun” Y/N said 

“No, I should have kissed you” Bucky said, his tone was final and Y/N didn’t want to argue anymore. 

“I didn’t deserve it” 

“You don’t have to earn love” Bucky said, moving to the carpeted space in front of Y/N’s armchair, taking Y/N’s hands in his he pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles “I love you, I want to spend my life with you and I will spend every single moment apologising to you for the way I acted” 

“I’m sorry for saying all those mean things Buck” Y/N said “I didn’t mean them I just wanted to make myself the bad person so you could hate me. I wanted you to hate me” 

“Why did you want that?” Bucky asked after pressing another kiss to her hand 

“So you’d end things, so my fears could come true. It’s sadistic, but I guess I’m always just waiting for the end so I just wanted it to happen. Like ripping a bandage off” 

“Oh Y/N” Bucky said gently “You never have to be scared of me leaving. We will always work through our issues, you’re my life. You’re my world, this is it for me.” 

“So you’re not waiting for me to fuck up so you can leave?” 

“No, I’m not” Bucky said 

“I’m sorry” she whispered 

“No more apologies” Bucky whispered “Please let me hold you baby? We can talk more in the morning I promise. But right now I just need to hold you”

“You never need to ask”

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

I'll Keep You Safe - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You had just become best friends with Bucky. And Everyone around you believes that you both have a thing for one another.

Word Count: 3440

Warnings: A bit of angst but with a happy ending. The reader has a nightmare. Mentions of past memories: Kidnapping and Torture.

Author's Note: I wanted to explore a little bit the type of friendship you would have with Bucky. Not only that but also get to know a bit of the y/n I write about when it comes to my Bucky fics.

reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged! But please, DO NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics!

Today's mission took place in the city. You were surprised. Most of the time, they were miles away. This time you had to go undercover. You were looking for anyone that you suspected might be part of Hydra.

Natasha, Steve, and Bucky accompanied you on this mission. Not because you needed help but because they wanted to know if there would be more than one person.

Even if this was a solo mission, you didn't feel comfortable doing it alone. You needed someone to be there with you. Luckily, the people that you trusted the most were there with you.

Bucky didn't want to leave you alone, nor didn't plan to. Either way, Nat decided that we should split into two groups. She believed that if we split up, no one would be suspecting us.

It was chilly outside, so you decided to wear your favorite hoodie and pair of skinny jeans. You wanted to feel as comfortable as you could even though your mind was running 100 miles an hour.

It had been hours since you have been looking for anyone you might find questionable. Everyone around you seemed like a normal civilian.

Walking next to Bucky, you felt safe. Around him, there was never an instant you felt in danger. He protected you, and you protected him. Even though you were much shorter than him, you wanted to make him feel secure.

Looking around the plaza, there wasn't anyone you found suspicious, nor you found anyone that you might have recognized from when they captured you.

"Have you guys found anyone?" you heard Steve's voice come from your earpiece.

"No, we haven't found anyone, and it doesn't seem like anyone might be suspicious. Are we sure they are still here, and they haven't left yet?" you said back in a discreet voice.

Once again, you scope the area, and you notice that two men were looking at you and only you. Even though Bucky was right next to you, they didn't acknowledge that he was with you.

Your first instinct was to tell Bucky, even though he was in fight or flight mode. You didn't want to cause a commotion in case if they didn't end up being agents.

You grabbed Bucky's hand and started to sway it left to right. Tangling your fingers against his, your hand looked so small compared to his. But placing your hand on top of his, it seemed like a perfect match. Getting on your toes, you reach to kiss Bucky on his cheek. There was a smirk on your face as you notice that those two men stopped looking in your direction.

Bucky felt flustered, unsure of what had happened a couple of seconds ago. He shakes his head, making sure that he went back to his focused state "what was that?" he raises his left eyebrow, tilting his head. He wasn't only flustered, but he was confused as well. He wanted to know why out of the blue, you kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry, I should have let you know. But there were these two guys just staring at me. I just wanted to make sure they weren't agents" you were still holding his hand. Even though you should let go of his hand. Something about holding his hand brought you comfort. You didn't want to let go.

He licks his lips as a crooked smile formed on his face. He looks around, and he doesn't find anyone he might find out of place. That lopsided grin turned into a frown in a matter of seconds when he realizes that you weren't letting go of his hand and how tightly your grip was. "Hey, are you okay?" his brows knitted together.

Before you could answer him, you were interrupted by Steve. "Just to let you know, the suspects moved locations they are no longer here. Tony, Rhodey, and Sam found their spot. Nat and I are heading to my place. If you both want to join."

You had a strong feeling that someone might be here. You were unsure who it might be, but before heading to Steve's place, you wanted to make sure that the coast was clear and that no one from Hydra was still hiding there. You convinced Bucky that you both should stay for an hour to see if you found someone.

That hour passes by, and luckily you and Bucky didn't find anyone suspicious.

In the last month, Bucky decided to invest in a motorcycle. Everywhere he went, he would take it with him. He even named it Lucy. It was his pride and joy, Bucky always wanted to own a motorcycle, and he thought that it was a great time to own one.

Walking near the parking lot, you started to look for Bucky's car. But it was nowhere to be found. Following Bucky, you notice that you two were both getting closer to his motorcycle. "Please, don't tell me he brought it. Fuck, he did." You thought to yourself.

You didn't care if Bucky had bought himself something, especially if it was something that he has always wanted. But it terrified you riding with him on his motorbike. He was careless. He would normally go over the speed limit and go in between cars, not caring what could happen.

Bucky gave you a sheepish look before reaching towards his seat, and he grabs his helmet, holding it out towards "I don't want you getting hurt so…" He trailed off. He didn't see anything wrong with you wearing it, but he knew you wouldn't want to get on with him.

"That's a no for me." You shook your head, "I would rather live today." A lopsided grin formed on your face as you scrunch your nose.

"I'm the only ride that you have," he sighed and shrugged his shoulders, "Come on, stop being a brat and come."

You rolled your eyes at that, but you held back a smile. "Fine, I'll go with you." He had a point, and you didn't want to order a uber on your way to Steve's place.

Bucky said nothing, but the look on his face said it all. He found it amusing that you finally agreed to ride with him. "What happened to the person I know? She would never come with me." He teased you. He genuinely cared about you and your safety. Outside of that, he knew if something bad were ever to happen to you, he would be the first person that Nat would blame.

Taking the helmet from his hands. "Let's go before I change my mind. I'm just putting this on because I don't want you to get your ass kicked by Nat." A small chuckle escaped your mouth.

Bucky put on a fake shocked face. "That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I’m pretty sure you don’t want that to happen. Do you, Doll?" He took your hand and helped you get onto the back of his motorcycle, ignoring the way you were pouting as you strapped the helmet under your chin.

"No, I don’t, and don't get used to me being nice because it won't happen that often." You joked around with him. You wrapped your arms around his waist from behind as he revved up the engine.

"Ready?" He called out over his shoulder, over the rumbling sound, and you gave him a brief nod, tightening your grip around him.

As you were riding with him on the motorcycle, you tried to look around the city. Every time Bucky would make a sharp turn or go faster, you would gradually tight your grip around him.

--------

Getting to Steve's apartment, you were hesitant about taking off Bucky's helmet. Your heart was racing a hundred miles per hour. But the adrenaline rush that you had just received, you wanted more. The moment you got off the motorcycle, Bucky helped you take off the helmet.

You had messy hair underneath. There was a piece of a strand in front of your face. With his left hand, he grabs that strand and tucks your hair behind your ear. Bucky places his hand on your cheek, his pinky on the bottom of your jaw, moving his thumb against your skin.

A slight smile formed on your face as you stared deeply into his eyes, and he started back at yours.

The moment that you noticed where you both were, you pointed to the door. "I think we should head in," you said in a soft voice.

Removing his hand from your face and slightly shaking his head, "umm, yeah. We should."

When you went inside, you notice Steve and Nat snuggling together on the couch, watching a movie. "Hey, you both are here. Join us. We just got done watching a movie, and we are going to start another one." Nat said as she motioned you and Bucky to sit on the couch.

"Steve, do you still have that one thing in your bedroom?" Steve nodded, indicating that he still had it. Grabbing Bucky's wrist, you dragged him to Steve's bedroom.

This was odd to Steve and Nat, especially how you and Bucky were looking at each other. Steve has that advanced security where it told him when someone entered his parking lot or if it was some random alert.

The moment you and Bucky entered his driveway, he and Nat decided to look through the cam and see what might have happened.

They were both suspicious that you both had feelings for one another because of the way you both would act around each other.

Whenever there would be a mission, and it was assigned to you and Bucky. You two would get excited. Outside of missions, you two would always hang out and tease each other.

Going to Steve's closet, you find the plant that you bought Bucky a few days ago. Grabbing the plant, you walk towards Bucky. Your cheeks turn into a rosy color.

Watching you walk outside of the closet, he noticed that with both hands, you were holding a small cactus. "Did you need help carrying that small pot?" Bucky laughed.

"Don't make me regret this. Instead of giving it to you, I'm going to take it home." Placing the plant onto Bucky's hands, "Last time I went to your apartment, it was all gloomy." You paused for a moment, unsure if you should continue. "When I went plant shopping with Steve and Wanda, I found this small cactus, and it reminded me of you. So I got it for you." You looked onto the floor, not wanting to know what reaction Bucky had.

For the time that you had known Bucky, you had always acknowledged that he didn't want to buy himself nice things. Since he thought that he didn't deserve them because of the things that he did, but he didn't hesitate to get you things.

Taking the plant from your hands, he loved it, every little thing about it, from the shape to the color of the pot. He had a small smile on his face. Out of all the things you could have gotten him, you decided on getting him a plant. He was grateful for this little thing.

"Just to let you know, this is going to be the last nice thing I do to you." You teased him.

Heading to the kitchen, he places the plant onto the counter, where the sun can hit it.

Bucky sat next to Steve, and you sat on the left side of Bucky.

Throughout the movie, you felt sleepy. Not because the movie was boring, it was an entertaining movie.

Laying your head onto Bucky's shoulder, you slowly blink, trying your best to stay awake. But you eventually pass out. You wrap your arms around his bicep.

When the movie started to end, Bucky found it odd that you weren't talking throughout the entire film. He turns his head to notices that you were fast asleep on his metal arm. Bucky turns his head towards Steve "umm Steve. What do I do? She is asleep on my arm. What if I'm hurting her? What if she's not comfortable at all?" he knitted his eyebrows together. He was worried and unsure what he should do. Should he wake you up or let you sleep.

This was the first time that you ever slept on him, especially on his metal arm. "She wouldn't have fallen asleep on your arm if she was uncomfortable and if it hurt." Steve gently hits Bucky on his bicep. "It looks like you are going to stay like that for a while though, she sleeps for quite some time," Steve laughs.

"I'm cool with it, as long as she is comfortable and I'm not hurting her."

A couple of minutes later, Steve and Nat went to their bedrooms. Bucky looks down on you and kisses your forehead. He wraps his right arm around your waist, gently moving you towards him. As he starts to lay down, he guides your body in the same direction. You were now laying on him, your head on his chest, meanwhile his metal arm wrapped around your waist. He was holding you close to him.

---------------

"Do you really think he cares about you?"

"He led us to you."

"No matter what you do. At the end of the day, you are still ours. You are way too valuable to let lose again."

"And for him, we are wiping his memories again. Too bad, so sad he won't remember you."

You were tossing and turning in your sleep, clenching onto the blanket. Your eyes snap open. You were covered in a cold sweat, shaking. Your heart was loudly pounding. You started to look around the room, suspicious and paranoid. You wanted to make sure that the nightmare wasn't true. You started to get up cautiously, shivering. The room was dark enough. You were unsure where you were.

You try your best to stay awake as you are looking for your phone. The moment you found your phone, you lit up the flashlight. Lighting the place, you notice that you were at Steve's house. You let out a sigh of relief that you weren't in danger.

Walking through the house, you were the only one there. You were wondering where everyone was at. Looking at the security cams, Bucky's Motorcycle and Steve's car were both gone.

Your first instinct was grabbing your phone to call Bucky. You let the phone ring for a couple of seconds. He wasn't picking up.

The moment that you were about to hang up, "Hey, Doll. What are you doing up at 3 in the morning?" a soft sound of cars honking and very loud music was playing in the background.

"Hi, I mean I should be, but-"your heart once again started to race at the thought of the nightmare you just had.

"Just to let you know, I'm in the middle of a mission. So if it hangs up, it's because of that." He interrupted you.

You instantly felt bad for bugging him, especially when he was out doing an important thing."I just- is there a way you can leave?" A little part of you felt selfish for asking him to leave.

"Why what happened? I can see if Tony lets me."

"You know what fuck it. They'll be fine. I don't care what they say. I'll be there in a few minutes."

You felt so bad because you knew how important this was for the team. Sitting on the couch, you were scrolling through Instagram, trying to distract your brain from what has happened.

Not even 20 minutes later, Bucky was at the driveway. He rushed to open the front door and ran towards you. He was all sweaty, and his hair was a complete mess.

He kneels in front of you and wraps his arms around you. "What happened?"

You wrapped your arms around Bucky's shoulders. You started crying and heavy breathing. Bucky's hands roam your back, moving his metal hand up and down your back, trying to calm you down. He pulls away and grabs both of your hands as you were still trembling. "Did you have a nightmare again?" looking onto the ground, you nodded. "Tell me what happened in it."

You squeezed Bucky's hands, trying to calm yourself. "I don't quite remember every detail, but they kidnapped me. Hydra somehow found me and took me. They started doing the same procedure as they did before, as an experiment on me, and abused me. I remember being in pain because they would hit me, remove my nails and eventually let me starve. They wanted to know more information about you and the rest of the avengers. I- I don't want to go back there. Please, I don't." you tried to stay as calm as possible, but you couldn't. You started to shake, your heart started to beat faster, and you started to breathe heavily once again.

He takes off his jacket and wraps you around it. "That's never going to happen. As long as I'm in your life, I'll keep you safe. They are never going to lay a finger on you." He wraps his arms around you once again. He was trying to calm you down. He held you for a couple of minutes.

At that moment, just holding you, he made a small realization. Maybe ever since he had entered your life, your nightmares started to get worse. Bucky felt the blame for it. He wasn't sure why. Maybe because he believes that he will always be tied down to Hydra, and at some point, you were in it too.

He slowly pulls away. "I have to go, Doll," he said in a small voice. Looking at him, he looked angry yet sad at the same time.

"Wait, Bucky, where are you going?" your eyes started to water. You were terrified of what might happen next. Just a few minutes ago, he said that he wasn't going to leave. And now he is leaving. You were going through a wave of emotions.

He gets up and starts to walk away from you. "I want to keep you safe, and I'm scared that I won't be able to do that. That all I'll ever do is put you in danger. So I'm going home" he couldn't stare at you as he said those words. You mean so much to him. Besides Steve and Sam, you were his other half. You made him happy, but the thought that he might be the reason why you were having nightmares, he didn't like that one bit.

You rapidly got up, properly putting his jacket on. "Stop, please don't go away. You are the only true friend that has stuck with me this long. The only person that has helped me through this. I- I feel calm around you." You take a brief pause, trying to ease yourself. "I've never been this happier in my entire life, and that's because you came into it." Your voice started to get louder gradually. Bucky turns around and faces you. "Whenever I'm near you or look at you, I can feel it, I-."

You start to walk towards him. You grab his left hand, swaying it back and forth. "I feel like I'm home." Your voice started to break at this point. Your mind was filled with emotions, thinking that Bucky was going to leave. "Please, Bucky. I don't want that ever to go away."

Bucky pulls you in and tightly hugs you. He felt the same way towards you. Something about you made him feel like that stupid Brooklyn kid he was in 1935. He felt at home around you. He could bear to lose you. "You do realize what you're getting yourself into if we continue being friends, right."

You buried your face into Bucky's chest and wrapped yourself around him. "Yes, I do, and I don't care." You mumble against his shirt.

"Just to let you know, you look adorable wearing my jacket." He chuckles as he places his chin on top of your head.

"Shut up. I sink wearing this." You teased Bucky. "Also, don't make me regret telling you everything I told you."

"We should go to bed soon. Tomorrow is going to be a fun day, especially for me since I ditched the mission halfway."

The moment you and Bucky laid in bed, you placed your head onto Bucky's chest. You were fast asleep, and you didn't have any nightmares for the rest of the night.

In this exact moment, you thought to yourself if you were catching feelings for him.

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Comfort | Bucky Barnes x reader

Requested by @lovethyfandoms2​ / Summary: Bucky tries to comfort you after someone says something mean to you. 

A/N: soft and protective Bucky. I hope you like it! Thank you for requesting xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

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You hadn’t had the best week. You’d slacked on working out and training with Frankie, the Avenger’s team trainer and you were in the process of becoming well, an avenger. All you needed was the training. Frankie didn’t appreciate the skipping out and the slack of today’s training and took it a little too far. 

“You’re never going to be an avenger at this pace.” He’d said to you at the end of the training, “It’s hopeless. No way I can get you trained to be good enough to be standing by the avengers.” 

You were usually pretty tough when it came to criticism but this hit you hard. You held back the tears until you were out of earshot of Frankie. You didn’t want to hear what he’d have to say about crying. You made your way up the avengers tower to the housing floor and entered you and Bucky’s shared apartment. He was sitting on the couch watching a movie. 

“Hey doll, how was training?” He called out to you as soon as he heard the door open. 

You quietly sniffled and laid your bag down, “Fine.” Walking through the hall and passed the living room, Bucky frowned. You always greeted him with a kiss after coming home. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To take a shower.” 

He wondered if something was bothering you, but decided you’d probably tell him later so he let you continue to the shower. However, with his super hearing he could hear your sobs as soon as the water turned on. Okay, so something was truly bothering you. 

He knocked softly on the bathroom door, “Doll? Can I come in?” 

“I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.” Your voice cracked and he heard another sniffle. 

“Doll, open up.. Please.” He waited a few moments and debated on breaking the doorknob.

The doorknob clicked and when the door opened it revealed you still in your workout clothes and a crying mess. 

“I’m never going to be an avenger.” You let out a sob and Bucky gathered you in his arms. 

“doll, what happened? Did Frankie say something?” You didn’t answer and he pulled away to make you look at him. 

“He’s right though.” 

“what did he say?” He wiped the stray tears with the pad of his thumb, “Talk to me.” 

You take a deep breath before explaining what had happened and how you hadn’t had the best week and slacked on training. 

“That fucker.” He mutters, “You listen to me.” He gently grasps your chin in his fingers, making you look at him, “He’s a prick and always has been. He also doesn’t know what he’s talking about. There will be days that you slack and that’s okay. You deserve to rest. You’ve worked your ass off these last few weeks and a few days of slack doesn’t portray if you’re fit to be an avenger or not. You hear me?” 

You nod, “it was just hard to hear after the week I’ve had.” 

“That’s completely understandable.” He wipes more stray tears, “But he’s completely wrong. You are good enough to stand by us and you will be one of us one day. Then you can kick his ass.” 

You let out a small laugh and Bucky smiles, “There’s that smile I love.” 

~ 

The next morning, Bucky was ready when you were which was unusual because his training was later. “What are you doing?” 

“Coming to train with you.” He shrugs. 

“Bucky.” You warn, knowing good and well what he was going to do at training. 

“What? Come on, I won’t.” He defends. 

~ 

He did exactly what you thought he would. Bucky took advantage of the sparing time to kick Frankie’s ass and put him on the floor. That’ll teach him not to make his girl cry. 

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A Warrior’s Heart | Phase 1: Welcome – 3

A Hero’s Welcome?

Summary: When someone with a connection to Steve’s past dies, he’s reminded of the promise he made to Dr. Erskine and whether or not he’s failed. Can Ife help him see that he hasn’t?

Characters: Steve Rogers, Ifekerenma ‘Ife’, Abraham Erskine (mentioned), Marlene Erskine (mentioned), Nick Fury, Eliza Maza, Azeneth Ramirez

Main Pairing: Stucky x Black!OFC (Ifekerenma ‘Ife’)

Rating: 18+/Explicit

Word Count: 5,801

Warnings: Depression, Talk of Death, Slightly Cynical Steve, Politics, Smutty Thoughts

A/N: I’m sorry that this so long. I really wanted to try something different with Erskine and the time around CA:TFA. Also, I wanted to explore how Steve would be feeling right after AoU (little bit of a downer, but it will get better). Furthermore, this story will diverge a bit from MCU in terms of Steve’s and Bucky’s abilities. Feedback is welcomed and greatly appreciated. Dividers were by the lovely @firefly-graphics​. Thanks to @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ for the beta!

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Early June 2015

“What do you have to report, Ifekerenma?”

Ife pursed her lips together,”Wanda is doing well with her training. Djamila and Nazaret had some sung her praises during their first session.”

It took a few days to convince the team and Fury to let her friends train Wanda. Luckily Nat had her back and Wanda was able to show the compound how much she improved from what Ife was able to teach her. Unfortunately, Azeneth was unable to make it due to being tied up with a BNA mission and relocating to the NYC division.

“That’s good to hear. Have you made made any progress with the others?”

Ife’s eyes casted down in thought. Vision was a no-go for now. Pietro was warming up to her, but he thought she was still suspicious (wasn’t wrong). She didn’t want to try Rhodey yet (too close to Tony). Nat was..difficult; she’ll try again later.

“I’m going to try Steve next. He seems like a safe bet, even with the serum. Hopefully, he won’t catch before it’s time. I will need Erskine’s folder though.”

Eliza’s lips turned upward in a small smile, “Agreed. I’ll have it sent to you within the hour. Best of luck, Ife.”

And with that, Ife got dressed and headed towards the common room.

  Steve leaned back and clasped his hands together behind his head in thought and vexation.

The 21st century must be fucking with him.

Right after Operation ‘Captain Briar Rose’, Steve went to Brooklyn. He could barely find any trace of his old neighborhood. The apartment complex where he and his mother lived was now a ritzy condominium with a Starbucks on the ground level.

All of the places he’d go with Bucky were now soulless veneers filled with empty promises of ‘happiness’ or ‘self-esteem’.

He remembered the time Bucky bailed him out of yet another beating by Arnie and his gang back in 1928. His mother berated him for getting in yet another fight while Bucky’s mom laughed and treated them to ice cream from the local sweets parlor. Bucky’s sisters – Rebecca, Rose, and Annabelle – were making a fuss and bursted out in giggles when Annabelle got ice cream in Bucky’s hair. It was one of the best days that year.

A T-Mobile now stands in its place.

All of his friends and comrades save Bucky and Peggy are dead; he nearly bawled in the middle of briefing when found out that Timothy ‘Dum Dum’ Dugan died and had a cry alone in his quarters afterwards.

Felt shitty about the current state of the country. It seemed as though everything has gotten worse. He found out about the Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq Wars. How income and wealth inequality has somehow gotten as bad as, if not worse, than the Gilded Age. Corruption has turned DC and NYC into dog and pony show.

He was furious at all of the politicians and corporations that wanted him to endorse them or their actions. They wanted Captain America’s helmet and shield to mask their heinous acts. They were the same if not worse than Senator Brandt.

Some days Steve wished SHIELD let him stay in the ice. Even worse, there were days he felt that Captain America was for an America that never was.

Nowadays, he felt even more like an anomaly.

It started when he got out of the ice. He felt a lot stronger and faster; only Thor knew the extent of it and he has to hold back a lot when fighting for fear of government asking for more of his blood. Though he suspected Ife and Natasha might be onto him.

He was a lot hungrier than before he went on ice as well. Often time, he would have late night ‘dinners’ (now it's every night), To be honest, he was a bit embarrassed at how much he ate, though the thought of pinning the blame on Ife did cross his mind. It wouldn’t work due to Ife almost never eating with the team and Sam said that he would know if Ife was the culprit. Steve suspected that Ife has been using her connections to restock the food between when he retired to his quarters and before the rest of the team came for breakfast. Also, she kept leaving him fun pop culture facts and media recommendations for the night.

Steve didn’t feel he could go to Dr. Cho since he doubted she had anything to go on in his case.

He did wonder if Ife could help him. She seemed to like helping the team and she was knowledgable about Non-Humans. Wanda’s rapid improvement in her powers and control bolstered his decision.

Sighing, Steve sat up straight in his chair and picked up the letter he received that morning. Marlene Philomena Erskine had passed away and he was invited to her funeral.

It was sad to have yet another link to his past slip from his grasp.

  Steve was finishing up another book to fight off his jitters. It was the night before the operation and he needed to have a few moments of respite from the war.

He was so engrossed in what he was reading that he failed to notice Dr. Erskine entering.

Erskine, for his part, was eyeing several books in Rogers’ makeshift bookshelf: They Odyssey, Of Mice and Men, Murder on the Orient Express, Tender is the Night, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Homage to Catalonia, and To Have and have Not.

“What do you think of the book?” Erskine asked as he sat across the startled recruit.

“Just finished. Y’think it wise to get buzzed before a major operation, sir?” Steve noted when he saw the bottle and two shot glasses on the bed.

Erskine chucked, “Calms my nerves a bit. What did you think of the book?”

Steve pressed his lips together for a moment, “It was a good read. The book had a lot of good points for something written eleven years ago.”

“What truths?”

“Well, for one thing, how technology is used to make the populace happy, but not better. The World Government found a way to get people to willingly trade self-expression, self-awareness, and their happiness for cheap happiness and comfort. Makes you wonder if the US was next, you know?”

Erskine was taken aback by his answer. It was much deeper than most of commanding officers gave if they even read the book.

Though that last sentence was interesting.

“What do you mean next?”

“Isn’t that what happened in Germany?”

Erskine sighed, “Yes and no. Most people here think Hitler came out of nowhere, but he didn’t. Not everyone in Germany was for WWI. There was a 100,000 person march in Berlin, but it didn’t matter since the Social Democratic Party failed to rise to the occasion and went along with war effort. Many were scapegoated for Germany failure, Matthias Erzberger for instance.”

“What about the Weimar Republic?”

Once again, Erskine was taken aback by Steve’s knowledge, “Weimar Germany was a great place to be creative, curious, and make new discoveries. I met my wife, Greta, in Berlin during that time. I made a lot of friends, friends I had to leave behind.”

Erskine frowned as his face darkened,”The terrible thing, my friend, was not that Hitler was dangerous, it was that either people didn’t take him as the threat he was or they wanted to use him for their own ends. The cops and judges sympathized with the Nazi Party to get one over the Socialists and Communists. Industrialists wanted to make money off of the Nazis getting into power. Even the German and International newspapers didn’t cover him with the urgency required.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Ja, and it almost happened here, didn’t it?”

Steve nodded in reference to the America First movement and the German American Bund. He still remembers getting the crap beaten out of him by the Silver Shirts when he spoke out against them a few years ago.

“So why did you choose me?”

“I suppose that is the best question.” Erskine admitted while glancing at Steve’s bookshelf, “What do you think of the Odyssey?”

Steve shrugged, “The adventures were fun, but they were just fantasy.”

“They may not be, Mein Freund. How old do you think I am?”

“Uh, mid sixties?”

Erskine laughed, “You’re too kind. I will be 94 this September,” he smiled noting Steve’s shock, “Things are not always as they seem. I come from a long line of ‘healers’ dating back to before Rome. One of them was able to ‘make a man more’. They inspired me to go into this profession.”

“Making super soldiers?”

“Medicine and bio-chemical engineering.”

“Oh”

“Did you know that you will not be first to undergo this?”

“Who was?”

“His name was Konrad Jager. He was a lot like you: small, frail, but had a great deal of courage and compassion. He was willing to fight Nazis in the streets knowing he’d lose. One day in 1930, his parents begged me to save him as the doctors had given up all hope.

I was woking on a serum that would make the body impervious to all diseases rather than wait for the next outbreak to occur. I thought it would propel the medical field.

The trial worked and he was healed. He became much taller and broader in size as a result.”

Erskine pulled out a picture of himself next to a tall, well-built young man.

“That’s Konrad isn’t it?”

“Yes. I was able to help eight more people through the earlier version of the serum. All but one turned out well.”

“What happened to the one?”

“Ah yes, Eren Kant. He was a shy young man before the serum, but then became more like Hodge: a philander, arrogant, and bit of a bully with a temper. He ‘grew too big for his britches’ as one would say and was arrested by the Munich police. He let his arrogance blind him and he escaped in a way that intrigued Der Fuhrer and was taken to Berlin soon after. By this time, rumors had spread of my work and the Nazis were anxious to be the ‘best of the Aryans’. They were able to get my whereabouts from Eren and sent Schmitt to fetch me, but I was already on my way to Switzerland when he reached my home.”

“How did he get you?”

Erskine slightly jerked his head to the side and back, “A year prior to my attempted escape, I met a man in Geneva who warned of the dangers that lied in Berlin. He gave me his card if I needed to escape. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have waited so long before I made the phone call. I was tipped off by an old colleague of Eren entering Nazi custody.

Everything was set. My family and I were to enter Switzerland by crossing Lake Constance. We made it to Meerburg and the lake was in sight when Schmitt and his agents cut us off.

Schmitt believed that there was a power left behind by the gods. He believed himself to be a leader of a new race of men. He wanted me to ‘perfect the serum’, make him stronger than Eren. He had my children, Klaus and Marlene, taken to the outskirts of town as insurance implying that they would be sent to Dachau if I should fail.

I stalled for as long as I could hoping Schmitt would forget about me, but it was not meant to be. A few years after I was taken hostage, Schmitt stormed into my lab and pointed a gun to Greta demanding I give him the serum.”

“Did it make him stronger than Eren?”

“It did, but it had...side effects. The serum was not ready. Schmitt’s skin turned red and his face became so disfigured that Hitler called him the Red Skull. He killed Greta with his bare hands,” Erskine wiped away a few tears, “and ordered Marlene and Klaus to be sent to Dachau while I was banished to the dungeons.

Fortunately, Agent Carter and the SOE were able to save Marlene and myself. Though Klaus sacrificed himself when the agents could only save one of them.”

“Your son is a hero.”

“I only wish I could’ve told him that myself. But, back to your original question. I chose you because, like Konrad, you are a weak man. You see, the serum amplifies everything; good becomes great and awe-inspiring, bad becomes worse and a nightmare. Men who are strong their entire lives often do not value strength and abuses it. However, a weak man who is compassionate and brave will use it to help others. You were chosen because you had the aforementioned virtues and because you use your mind.

The world does not need perfect soldiers, look where that has gotten us. No, what we need right now are good men.”

Erskine poured out two shots and gave a glass to Steve.

Steve raised his glass, “To the little guys.”

The liquor was just about to touch his lips when Erskine snatched the glass from him, “What are you doing? You have an operation tomorrow. No fluids.”

Steve chuckled as Erskine bid him farewell and good luck tomorrow.

  Ife found Steve in the Common Room hunched over a chair with a letter in his hands. Emotional echoes of gloom came off in waves as she approached him.

“Whatcha looking at, Steve?”

When Steve didn’t respond, she gently placed a hand on his shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

Steve finally turned to Ife, “I received an invite to a funeral. It’s for Marlene Philomena Erskine, Dr. Abraham Erskine’s daughter.”

Ife nodded in understanding; he feels that he failed Marlene by not protecting Dr. Abraham Erskine.

But in fact, he didn’t fail her.

She lived quite the life for a human.

Not long after her father’s assassination, Marlene became a badass mechanical engineer and physicist. Her designs and schematics for transportation vehicles and energy storage/distribution gave the colonizer nations a fighting chance during the Wars Against Colonialism.

Though part of it was because the UA was a little cocky at that point. Marlene sure lit a fire under their ass! Ife can still hear her Aunt Eziamaka pouting at the news of one of UA bases nearly falling into their control.

Marlene’s assistance with the war effort didn’t last long as her gratitude towards the people who saved both her and her father wasn’t enough to overlook the Military’s treatment of some her colleagues.

Her life from there was pretty standard. She became a professor at MIT, got married and had a few kids.

BNA took her off the ‘humans of special interest’ list in 1971.

Thinking back on it, Marlene may have had a better life by her father not making it past WWII.

Though Ife thought it would be wise not to mention this to Steve.

“When is the funeral?”

Steve didn’t raise his head, “It’s in a week.”

“In that case, might I accompany you?”

“Yes...and thank you.”

“No Problem! See you later.” Ife wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug and went on her way leaving Steve slightly bewildered.

  Steve didn’t know what to make of Ifekerenma.

She was always asked the team how they were feeling at what seemed to be the right moment. Shoot, she even talked to custodial staff that few of ever acknowledge. Compassionate to nearly everyone, especially the child hostages during the last mission.

She’s nerdy to the point of Sam jokingly calling her a weeb (anime lover?) when she walked around in an oversized Cowboy Bebop t-shirt once. Wanda mentioned a ‘digital friend’ in her room and caught her mentioning how slow Stark’s tech was much to the amusement of team at Tony’s expense.

Steve’s certain Nat sent Clint a video of the whole thing.

Also, she was what Sam called a ‘Supreme Chef’. He contently patted his midsection remembering the feast she prepared for the team last night. Her cooking would’ve put some of Stark’s gourmet chefs to shame. She asked the team what they liked and she ended up having to create a dinner rotation. Steve was especially touched when she went to an antique bookstore for a recipe that was close to what his mother would’ve made for him.

Furthermore, she would leave out little homemade treats/ snacks at night. Pietro and Sam would sneak some when they thought no one was looking. She even giggled when he accidentally let out a huge belch after an amazing dinner a couple nights ago saying it’s a sign of thanks on her home planet, Avlenia.

Ife always called him Steve; not ‘Captain’ or ‘Cap’ or even ‘Good ol’Century Virgin’ (damn it, Tony!). She never made light of him ‘taking an ice nap’ or asking him about the 1940s in a demeaning way like some reporters and ‘little upstarts on social media’. Somehow, Ife found out about his love of drawing and got him art supplies with a list of recommended artists

She made him feel more like a person and not a symbol or a far off figure who’s emotionless.

Steve felt warm whenever he was around her in a way not unlike Bucky or Peggy though much more like Bucky. She seemed to sense that he was desperate to truly be seen in way that only Sam and sometimes Nat has.

It also didn’t hurt that she was a total knockout. He had the, ahem, pleasure of seeing her out of her uniform and training outfits a few times. She usually wore clothes that were more on the modest side...except for that one time when she wore a Sailor Moon crop top and high-waisted shorts as a dare from Nat. Half of the compound was staring and Steve spent most of the day in his quarters nursing a hard on he was so aroused.

And yet, Ife was one of the toughest women he knew; even Nat was a little scared of her (at least, he thinks). She might be the strongest person physically and she doesn’t take shit from people who badmouth her or the team; Agent Roussel learned that the hard way.

All in all, Ife was...something else, someone he wanted to get close to.

  The day of Marlene’s funeral started out well enough.

Ife spent the early morning making Sam’s request of cinnamon rolls, sausage, omelettes, waffles, and hash browns since he won the raffle of Vision’s turn as he doesn’t eat.

She was handing out everyone’s first servings (didn’t care what happened afterwards) when she felt Steve’s emotional echoes of depression, melancholy, and despair noting how his eyebrows furrowed and how tense his body language was.

She just hoped she could get to him.

  Steve was walking to garage hoping his outfit wasn’t too much.

Nat somehow convinced him into wearing a Highbridge Black Custom Suit with an Eastley Dobbey Blue Shirt, a Black Solid Tie, a Navy Blue Pocket Square, and Ink Black Dress Shoes.

He ‘upped the swoon dial’ as Nat put it. Could’ve sworn he heard Sam snickering.

Steve reached the entrance hoping not to keep Ife waiting when he heard clicking of heels behind him.

He turned around to find Ife looking almost unearthly.

She was wearing a black Ankara (?) dress with a cape that was black on the outside and golden on the inside with various blue, silver, and khaki rectangle clusters. Her hair was mostly contained in a wrap with a few strands framing her lovely face. Her full, plump lips were coated in a Light Plum (?) Matte Lipstick and she wore minimal gold eye shadow.

Her outfit did a splendid job of hinting at her voluptuous curves without needlessly flaunting them like the women who throw themselves at him at press tours.

Ife smiled at him and asked which car were they taking.

Steve motioned to one of the Black SUVs and the two of them strapped in for the three hour car ride.

  Ife sighed and gazed out the window at the scenery. Neither one of them had said anything in the past twenty minutes. Steve wasn’t a fan of most of the music that’s on the radio despite Sam’s best efforts. Ife had to break out her puppy dog eyes to get him to let them listen to some instrumental music from her favorite movies.

It seemed that they weren’t going to say anything until Steve cleared his throat.

Ife, not wanting to suffer in silence, decided break it, “How did you know Marlene?”

Steve raided his eyebrows for a split second, “I didn’t. I just feel like I should pay my respects, you know? I mean, I should attend the daughter of the man I failed’s funeral.”

The last sentence struck a chord with Ife. Emotional echoes of despair hit her like a tsunami.

Tentatively, Ife continued, “How did you fail Erskine?”

“I-I don’t think I’ve fulfilled my promise to him. The country has changed so much since I was on ice. It’s funny; I thought that Brave New World would only have a one of two aspects come to life, but I didn’t see nearly the whole book being right.”

Ife didn’t argue with the last two points. The US was nothing but a never-ending commercial sometimes. People were too busy being ‘happy’ or trying to get the newest thrill to realize that they were living in a sham of a republic.

Though she was concerned about the first sentence.

“What was the promise you made to Erskine? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Steve turned slightly, “To be true to who I am; a good man, not a perfect soldier. To be more like Konrad.”

Ife nodded musing on his answer. Erskine would want everyone he helped to be a good person considering the dangers of such power.

Though she wondered if she knew Dr Abraham’s full history.

Abraham Erskine came from a long line of Homo Magis who specialized in Alchemy . He turned to science when it was clear that his magical powers would never manifest (being only 1/16 Homo Magi). Erskine started working on what would become the Super Soldier Serum in 1920 after the witnessing the horrors of WWI firsthand as a medic.

He made a breakthrough in 1927 when he found what looked to be an old power cell in the attic of his childhood home. Turns out it was a modified Atlantean battery dating back to the 1600s, but whatever.

Konrad Jager was the first of nine volunteers; most of whom went on to fight in the Spanish Civil War with the International Brigades and be part of the German Resistance’s Special Forces during WWII.

Needless to say, they were recruited into BNA’s European Division.

Only Eren Kant was deemed a failure in the end.

Ife shook her head at the info in Erskine’s folder.

Eren was pompous dumbass who broke himself out jail by bending/breaking the bars of his cell after getting arrested for being a player and bully by the Munich Police in August of 1935. His show of superhuman strength got Erskine’s work onto the Hitler’s radar. BNA had to send a cleaner to ‘handle’ Eren before he could get everyone in even more trouble.

She wondered if Konrad and the others would make an appearance.

“What do mean by not staying true to yourself?”

Steve sighed, “It seemed a lot easier to do so in my time.”

Ife wanted to go further, but she couldn’t. Steve was punishing himself up for something he couldn't control and it was tragic.

She hoped that she could actually help him, not for the mission, but for himself.

  They arrived at the venue twenty minutes early. Steve was trying (failing) to fix his tie while Ife was looking as glamorous and poised as can be.

Sensing Steve’s unease, she gave his hand a comforting squeeze, “You’ll do fine,” she whispered as she fixed his tie while not trying inhale his delicious natural scent like a creep (again).

“Let’s go inside.”

  Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing when they entered the venue. Though Ife had to hand it to the guests; no one asked Steve for an autograph or a selfie. She noted several BNA officials and a couple of Earth-based Non-Human big wigs in attendance.

Guess Marlene was popular.

“Ife!” Azeneth shouted as she strode over to from a corner and enveloped her in a hug.

“Azeneth, how are you? I didn’t think you would be back from Mexico City so soon.”

“Well, the mission was short and they wanted me in New York to accompany Eliza here. Now, who is this fine gentleman, Ife?” Azeneth queried while Steve started shifting uncomfortably.

“This is Steve Rogers, one of my new teammates and Ca-”

“Captain America. I know, Ife. I was jesting.”

Ife sighed dramatically while rolling her eyes, “Steve, this is Azeneth. She’s one of my best Earth-based friends.”

“Kickass friend.” Azeneth corrected, “How are you liking Ife? She’s not too much trouble.”

“Stop it, ‘Aze!” Ife playfully hit Azeneth’s shoulder, “Feel free to ignore her, Steve.”

“Hmm, no. I don’t think I will, especially after the stunt you pulled on the first day at the compound.”

Azeneth burst out laughing at Ife’s shocked expression and Steve’s sly grin. She probably would’ve kept goin if not for Eliza cutting into their conversation.

“Excuse us, Mr. Rogers. I’ll have to speak with Ife for a moment. My name’s Eliza Maza, by the way.”

  Once they were out of Steve’s line of sight (Azeneth was keeping him busy), Eliza activated a noise canceller.

“So did anyone die in the attack on the Magic Council?” Ife asked as she made sure Steve wasn’t looking at them.

“No one was harmed, but several books are missing from the library.”

“Shit! Okay. Well, would Dr. Strange be available to assist Wanda with her training? Wong and Nazaret are at the Sanctum and he said that he knew of some spells that could help.”

“I’ll look into it. I should have an answer in a week”

“Okay.”

“Ife, please give me a call when you get back to the compound.”

Ife eyed Konrad Jager, Gregor Eisenberg, Sonje Decker, and Lukas Denhart making their way to Steve. She hoped they weren’t going to drop an info bomb on him today.

“I will.”

  The service was short and sweet as Marlene didn’t want everyone to be bored to tears on her behalf. The crowd got a laugh out that joke.

Afterwards, Marlene granddaughter, Zahara, requested if Steve could stay for a bit. She gave him a beautifully wrapped package.

“My grandmother wanted you to have this. She saw you fighting in the Battle of New York and knew you would know what to do with it.”

“It would be an honor, Miss.”

  Ife thought about her earlier conversation with Steve on the say back. She realized what’s happened to Steve was heartbreaking.

Here was a man who gave up everything for a country that only wants him as a cudgel for their heinous deeds. Someone who, if he hadn’t fallen into the ice, would’ve probably been ruined by the same country he swore to protect. They would’ve labeled him as a communist and destroyed his good name for not immediately getting on board with the next war.

To be honest, Ife didn’t think much of Steve before joining the team. She thought he was just the banner boy for colonizers to feel good; he was the reminder of that brief moment when the US was totally the bad guys (totally being the operative word).

But now?

She saw the toll the helmet and shield had on him. Ife doubted he knew that he was going to be alive for awhile judging how neither Konrad or the others aged a day since they received Serum 1.0 and Steve supposedly got one that was at least 3x as powerful.

She wanted to comfort him somehow, but she was lost on what to do.

When she got back to the compound, she gave Steve a hug and went straight to her quarters to call Eliza.

“Eliza. I can’t do this by myself, and if we’re going to pull this off, I’m going to need some serious backup because the Avengers need some serious help.”

  Fury was going through some mission reports when he heard a knock on his door.

“Come in.”

Oddly enough, Ife was the one to enter the room and not Maria Hill.

“Good Evening, Fury. I have someone who would like speak with you.”

“Well, give me a name and contact info and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Actually,” Ife reached in her pocket for a disc, “I can do you one better.”

Ife tossed the disc into the air and a moon-door portal formed from it. Out came Eliza, Azeneth, and Angela in her gargoyle form.

Eliza gave Ife a quick nod and turned to Fury, “Good Evening, Nicolas Fury. My name is Eliza Maza and we’re from the Bureau of Non-Human Affairs or BNA. I would advice that you lower your weapon. It won’t do you a lick of good,” Fury lowered his gun,” Good. Put Maria Rambeau on speaker, we need to talk.”

  -Somewhere in France-

 Maeve was enjoying her brunch while watching the footage of Eliza officially making contact with new SHIELD and SWORD.

“Well, it looks like it’s time to ‘get the band back together’ as the kids would say.” She chirped to the woman across the table.

“That expression pretty much died in the 90s. No ‘kid’ uses that phrase anymore.” Koronis deadpanned.

Maeve scoffed, “Anyone born after 1800 is a ‘child’ to me. This is what I get for trying not to sound like ‘an old hag’ as you put it.”

“Well, is everything on track?”

Koronis, or Carol, closed her eyes for few seconds, “I see nothing standing in our organization’s way. However, we should have the meeting sooner rather than later.”

“Duly noted. Anything else?”

“The new variable, Ifekerenma, will be more useful to our plans than I originally anticipated.”

“Oh, I do love surprises! I mean, I know how it will end, but I still like to be at least a little surprised. I knew it was a good idea to let Klaue be discovered by Ultron in Istanbul!”

Another woman walked up to the pair,”You wanted to see me, Mistress?”

“Yes. Svetlana, call the others. It’s time to put our plan into high gear. Hell’s Moon is upon us.”

  Steve was having a shitty birthday.

The press was pestering him about the presidential election. Several outlets have called him a sellout and a coward for not endorsing anyone.

He was figuring out the best way to take a shower and hit the hay in less than 30 minutes when he found a beautifully written note taped to his door.

It said to come to Ife room wearing his best dancing clothes.

Ten minutes later, Steve knocked on her door and it instantly opened to reveal a modest dancing hall not unlike the ones he went to with Bucky before the war.

He was so lost in thoughts admiring the place that he failed to notice Ife hovering a few feet from him.

“Happy Birthday, Steve! How do you like it?”

Steve turned to see Ife in a knee-length golden yellow African Wax Print Ankara dress with cold shoulders, ruffled sleeves, and a v-neckline. He didn’t miss the modest view of her cleavage or how her legs looked oh, so smooth in the dress.

Ife, for her part, was super nervous about this. Nat said that people went to dance halls all the time in the late 1930s and 1940s and it took her five days to get the architecture, the music, and the lighting just right.

She hoped that Steve wouldn’t be angry with her.

Steve looked incredibly handsome in his simple dress shirt and slacks. His powerful shoulders, thick biceps, trim waist, and beefy thighs were accentuated by the lighting which made him look like he was glowing.

Ife would’ve drooled if she knew that he didn’t like it when most women would throw themselves at him.

“It’s amazing. Thank you.”

“I’m sorry about the dress. I couldn-”

Steve raised a hand to stop her from going off on a tangent,”You look beautiful.”

Ife felt a flurry of warmth in her core at the compliment.

“So, what would like to do?”

Before Steve could answer, Duke Ellington’s Don’t Mean a Thing starting playing.

Steve stretched out his hand, “Would you like to dance?”

Ife took his had and they glided onto the dance floor.

“Where did you learn to dance?”

“Bucky’s mom made us learn when Bucky started getting attention from the girls at school. She thought it best that we knew how to treat them to a good time.”

“I see,” Ife giggled, “Then she was wise to make take the lessons. Though I’m more familiar with the jitterbug.”

Steve chuckled as they resumed swinging. He hummed a bit as they danced to Ella Fitzgerald, Caro Emerald, Jo Stafford, Billie Holiday, and Gene Krupa.

Ife was impressed with Steve’s dancing skills. What were those women thinking passing him up like that?!

After a couple more rounds of dancing, the music shifted to something more modern but not (it was Howl’s Moving Castle’s Main Theme) , the colors on the walls and ceiling brightened, and several chandeliers formed on the ceiling.

Steve gave Ife a slightly confused look and asked her if she would like to try a waltz this time.

The song lasted a little more than five minutes. Steve was somehow able to lead their movements in sync with the song.

Ife felt her body was aflame with gentle yet commanding touches Steve was giving her. He even lifted her a few times making her feel as though she was flying with how gently he held her.

They were absorbed in their own world they either failed to notice or ignored Nat and Wanda entering Ife room to see if they could have another spa day. Nat even got a few pictures of the two dancing.

Steve gave Ife one last life during the climax and pulled her in when the music came to a close. They were about to come in for a kiss when Ife pressed her lips together and back away.

“We should probably retire for evening. Goodnight, Steve.”

Steve’s shoulders slumped in defeat, but left Ife’s room with a simple goodnight with Nat and Wanda in tow.

Ife frowned. She knew Steve wasn’t in the best place for a relationship and her conscience wouldn’t let her take advantage of that.

[amanda-teaches]

The Piers of Brooklyn

Marvel Fanfic

Summary: After moving in with the Avengers, Bucky finds himself struggling to let go of his past and find himself again. What he needs is a little help to remind him that he’s home.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2144

Warnings: A lot of emotions, self-doubt and a glimpse of PTSD from Bucky, bittersweet fluff. This is canon-divergent where Bucky joins the group right after CATWS instead of going on the run.

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing for Marvel, and I’m really excited about it. It was written for one of my favorite people, @pinknerdpanda​, and her Birthday Challenge. This story was inspired by the song Beyond by Leon Bridges, and the lyrics are interspersed within. It was also written from a request for my 2k challenge from my beautiful friend, @hannahindie​, who was amazing enough to read this over for me. I was a little nervous writing for a new character and a new fandom, so any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated. 

When Bucky first moved into the tower, he did everything he could to adjust, to put his past behind him, become just another member of the team.

He attended the parties, trained with the others, smiled through the group dinners. But, there was always something missing. No matter how hard he tried, a part of him always had his guard up, keeping him separate, walled off from the others. He didn’t know if it was to protect himself from everyone else, or to protect them from him.

Steve was his usual puppy dog self, assuring him that everyone had moved past what he’d done, that they knew it was the programming, not him. His therapist said the same thing, that it wasn’t him, he was powerless to stop it, but every time he looked in Stark’s eyes, he saw his parents. Every time Natasha handed him a cup of coffee or he ran with Sam, he re-lived all of his sins, everything he’d done to hurt them and so many others.

Steve could say that they’d forgiven him all he wanted, but the truth of it all was that Bucky hadn’t forgiven himself. How could he ever expect anyone else to?

So, he moved through his days on autopilot, a part of him always struggling to rediscover that piece of him he’d lost when he fell into that river all those years ago. He saw glimpses of it when he was around Steve, but it felt like seeing someone above water when you were drowning. Blurry and unreachable. It wasn’t until he met you that he felt like he could finally start swimming to the surface.

You moved into the tower a few months after Bucky, having been stationed in D.C. before that. You’d fought against HYDRA during the Battle at the Triskelion, working closely with Steve, Natasha, and Sam, but you’d never actually crossed paths with Bucky. When the fight was over, and Steve had brought Bucky back to New York for rehabilitation, you’d stayed behind in D.C. to deal with the fallout.

With S.H.I.E.L.D essentially disbanded, you found yourself out of a job, so Steve invited you to join the Avengers in their missions to combat the ever-present threat of HYDRA. You’d accepted, packing up your things and making the move up the coast to Manhattan.

You’d settled in easily at the tower, proving yourself a valuable asset on missions and becoming fast friends with the others in the downtime. But, what Bucky found the most interesting was how you’d reacted to him. All of the others, though polite, had initially been distant with him, slow to trust until he could show the Winter Soldier wasn’t who he was anymore. But, you were the exact opposite.

You’d gravitated towards him. The second you moved in, you’d made it a point to invite him to work out with you and include him in activities, both inside and outside the tower. Every movie night, you sat next to him. Every trip to the zoo, you dragged him with you. He knew you were trying to help him heal, get him to find the joy in the normalcy of life, but you never forced him. You were just right by his side, holding his hand the entire way.

It was his lifeline. You were his lifeline. And, he knew, no matter how strong everyone thought he was, one of the biggest reasons he was healing was you.

For months, the two of you continued this way, falling into a comfortable pattern between missions. But, every Saturday, Bucky would break the pattern, going off on his own for a few hours and leaving you behind.

He knew it drove you crazy. When this started, you’d ask what he was doing when he returned at night, but he never told you. He couldn’t tell you.

Eventually, you stopped asking, assuming it was something too personal, a wall he wasn’t ready to let down yet. But, you never stopped wondering where he disappeared to every Saturday. And, he knew it. It was the part of himself he held back, and he vowed that, someday, he’d find the courage to show it to you.

Don't wanna get ahead of myself

Feeling things I've never felt

It's kinda hard for me to explain

Her personality and everything

Brings me to my knees, oh

She shines me up like gold on my arm

Do you think I'm being foolish if I don't rush in?

It was a rainy February Saturday when Bucky finally, fully, let you in.

Most of the Avengers were occupied for the day, either out or working in different parts of the tower. You knew today was Bucky’s day to disappear for the afternoon, so you popped some popcorn and set yourself up in front of Tony’s wide-screen movie-theater-worthy tv. You’d just picked up the remote to dig in when Bucky appeared in the doorway, leaning casually against the wooden frame.

“Hey!” you said, almost dropping your popcorn in surprise. “What’re you still doing here? I thought you’d left already.”

“Yeah, I was on my way.” He shot you a lop-sided grin, locks of his hair falling into his face. “I was wondering, maybe, you know if you weren’t busy, if you’d possibly want to come with me today.”

A rush of excitement flowed through you. You knew how important this alone time was to him and what it must have taken for him to ask you, so you knew how big of a deal this was. Plus, he looked so damn nervous, you couldn’t help but smile. “I thought no one was allowed to come with you, not even Steve.”

His grin wided, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “You’re my one exception. You comin’ or not?”

You laughed at his teasing bravado, but you jumped up immediately, following him to the garage.

You both decided to take Bucky’s bike, and, with your arms wrapped securely around his waist and your cheek pressed against his back, the two of you zoomed in and out of the New York traffic. At some point, the traffic began to thin out and Bucky began to slow, but you weren’t quite sure where you were.

He drew to a stop by a wide stretch of grass, and you could see the water beyond the trees, but not much else. “Where are we?”

He grabbed the helmet from you, placing it on the bike beside his, and smiled softly. ���Brooklyn.”

You expected more of an explanation, but Bucky just turned, starting to stride across the grass without saying anything more, not even waiting for you to follow him. 

Damn, was he frustrating.

You sighed and hurried after him, trying to take stock of your surroundings as you worked to keep up. Bucky was a super soldier, so about three of your steps equaled one of his, but he slowed when you neared him, giving you an opportunity to look around.

The grassy area was ending, opening up to the expansive view of New York Harbor in front of you. A pier stretched out to your right, and Bucky made a beeline for it, with you following. You could see the Statue of Liberty in the distance, with the Manhattan skyline and the East River beyond it.

The pier was relatively short, with wavy, black curves painted on the concrete and old-fashioned street lamps punctuating the railing. They turned on while you walked, signalling that night was approaching.

Bucky didn’t stop until he reached the end of the pier, sitting down at a bench by the edge, like you assumed he’d done dozens of times before. You waited a beat before joining him, sitting silently down by his side.

“This is Valentino pier,” he explained softly, breaking the silence. “Back when Steve and I were growing up here, it was called Red Hook. We’d sneak down here sometimes to mess around, watch the boats out in the harbor.” His voice dropped, an edge of sadness underlying it. “It looked a lot different back then.”

Realization hit you, and your heart ached for what he must have felt coming back here, reconciling his memories with how the world had changed. You knew he’d grown up in Brooklyn with Steve, but you’d never thought about the when. When he left here, it was 70 years ago for you, but almost yesterday for him.

“When Steve first brought me back,” he continued, his face remaining expressionless to mask the emotion you could hear in his voice, “it took me a while to come back here. But, my therapist thought it would be good, cathartic or something, so eventually, I worked up the nerve. My old neighborhood had almost completely changed. It felt familiar, but different somehow, like I didn’t really belong anymore.”

You didn’t say anything, just reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it in your lap.

“The first time I came, I just wandered the streets for hours, trying to find something that felt like home. There were things I recognized, but nothing felt quite right, not ‘til I found this. It’s funny, because this whole park wasn’t even here when I was, but this view...” He gestured in front of him, motioning at the sunset that was brewing over the Harbor. “This felt like home. Coming here, I finally started to feel like me again.”

He looked over at you, a ghost of a smile crossing his face. “You know, I came here right before I shipped out.” He gulped, his eyes darkening. “That last night.”

You squeezed his hand gently, wishing you could take some of this weight on for him. “I thought you went to the Stark Expo?”

“I did,” he nodded. “But, the next morning, before sunrise, I came here, to the harbor. I watched the docks awaken, the ships begin to sail out as the sun rose over the horizon, breathing in the Brooklyn air one last time before I reported.” He took a deep, shaky breath. “I think I knew then I wasn’t coming home.”

You placed your free hand on his cheek, pulling his attention away from the dropping sun and over to you. “Bucky, you did come home. You survived. This sunset? This air? It’s the same you felt in 1943. You’re home, Buck.”

The relief on his face was soft, almost unrecognizable, but it was there. You let out a breath at the sight, unaware that a part of you had been holding that breath for months, waiting for this exact moment.

Looking away from him and out towards the water, you kept his hands in yours, the two of you sitting in silence as the sun sank down into the harbor in the distance, the dusk settling into a still darkness.

He began to rub his thumb across the inside of your palm, and you smiled, turning back to study his profile. His face hadn’t changed, but it looked lighter somehow, more relaxed than you’d ever seen. You didn’t know if that was from the view or…

“Buck, why did you ask me to come with you today? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy you did, but this place seems very personal to you, and I’m just…”

His eyes snapped over to meet yours, the shifting blues churning as they scanned yours. “Just what?”

Your eyes dropped to his lips for the barest of seconds before jumping back to his eyes. “A colleague.”

Bucky’s entire face softened, and he pulled his hand from yours, resting it on your thigh. “You think that’s all you are? Jesus, Y/N…” He lifted his other hand, running it slowly through your hair. “You’re so much more than that.”

Everything in you soared at his words, and you ached to lean in and kiss him senseless, but you held back. He’d let you in, but you knew he was still fragile. He wasn’t ready for that, at least not yet.

“You’re more than that to me too, Buck,” you whispered, and his whole face lit up. For the first time since you knew him, he surprised you by pulling you into a hug, his strength and warmth enveloping you. He rested your head on his shoulder and gripped you tightly to him, like he was afraid you’d disappear if he let go.

But, you weren’t going anywhere. No matter how long it took, or what demons he had to fight, you were with him, for the long haul. “Come on, Buck,” you whispered, shifting back to look him in the eye. “Let’s go home.”

Do you think I'm being foolish if I don't rush in?

I'm scared to death that she might be it

That the love is real, that the shoe might fit

She might just be my everything and beyond

Thank you so much for reading!!! Since I’m new to the Marvel fandom, I wasn’t quite sure who to tag for this. I’m tagging the people who expressed interest, but if you would me to tag you in future Marvel fics, please send me an ask! My Marvel tags will be separate from my Supernatural tags.

Also, if you enjoyed this, I would really appreciate if you could please reblog, because I would love to reach as many people as I can. THANK YOU!

@pinknerdpanda @hannahindie​ @emoryhemsworth​ @okay-maybe-i-like-marvel-too​ @im-a-light-child​ @clarinette07​ @mysterious-398​  

[maaaaarveeeeel]

Day 1: Mutual Masturbation (Pre Serum Stucky)

So I'm a day late, so two posts today! Here's my first post for Kinktober!

Summary: Steve reflects on how he and Bucky ended up in bed together.

Warnings: Swearing, SMUT (duh), mentions of homophobia, mentions of God, mentions of someone getting beat up and fighting. (If I forgot anything please let me know!)

A/N: Hehehehe, let's see how long I actually do this. I bet I'll make it to the 12th at least! Sorry the keep reading thing isn't there. I'm on mobile.

Here's the prompt I'm using

🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁

When Steve found out Bucky had his first kiss at 13 he wanted to cry, because it wasn't with him. Instead he smiled and patted his friend's shoulder. Three years later when Bucky told him he'd lost his virginity Steve did cry. He sobbed and ran home, slamming his door shut and ignoring his mother's calls. 

When Bucky showed up soon after Sarah asked what had happened. After Bucky explained everything Sarah chuckled and sat him down. She told him how Steve has been in love with him since they were little and how he was too scared to ever say anything because of the church and views on gay men. She told him how every night before bed she would tell Steve that there was nothing wrong with what he felt, and any God that would hate someone for who they loved was not a God worth worshipping. How every night Steve said an extra prayer just for Bucky, and asked God to keep him and his family safe. When Bucky bit his lip and his face turned red she grabbed his hand and told him that his mother and her always talked about how special him and Steve were, and how their friendship was one they would always protect and accept. 

Bucky sat there for a few moments blinking at her. He knew Steve loved him, as they always told one another, but he never knew Steve had loved him that way. After a while he asked if he could go to Steve's room and see him, Sarah of course let him. 

Bucky walked up the stairs and down the hall. When he stopped in front of Steve's door he tried to open it, only to find it locked. 

"Steve, let me in."

"Go a-away J-James." 

Bucky frowned at this. Steve only called him James when he was mad at him, he also didn't like that he was stuttering. 

"Not until you open this door!"

"N-no!"

Bucky jiggled the handle but it was useless,  he wasn't getting in. So instead he decided to just lean against the door, figuring Steve would have to come out at some point.

When he heard footsteps on the stairs he smiled when he saw Sarah pull a key out of her apron as she approached him. After she quickly unlocked the door she turned and hurried down the stairs again. Bucky wondered why she was so trusting he wasn't going to beat Steve for the feelings he had for him. Brushing the thought off he swung Steve's door open and barged in. 

Steve was curled on his bed with tear stains on his face. He looked up, shocked at the sudden intrusion. 

"Wh-"

"Your ma has a master key." Bucky mumbled as he marched across Steve's small room. "And she told me your dirty little secret."

Steve gulped and sat up as he watched Bucky tower above him. He felt tears return to his eyes again and gulped. Bucky had been there for him his whole life, always beat up the bullies that picked on him and, even if Steve would never admit it, finished the fights he started. He tried so hard to bury his feelings, but his mother knew, and now Bucky did too, and he looked mad. 

Steve bit his lip and closed his eyes when Bucky grabbed his suspenders and pulled him up. His worst nightmare had come true. Bucky knew and now he hated him and was going to beat him for it. His best friend, the boy he'd been in love with since he could remember. He just hoped Bucky wouldn't tell anyone else, that he'd give Steve that much after their years of friendship. Not that he deserved it, after all, Steve was nothing but a burden to Bucky anyway. 

He prepared himself for Bucky's fist, but when it never came he slowly opened his eyes and furrowed his brow when he saw tears running down Bucky's face. 

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Bucky whispered.

"B-because I th-thought you'd ha-ate me." Steve stuttered as tears ran down his face.

Bucky shook his head. "I could never hate ya Steve. I love you way too much."

Steve's chest twisted at this, like it always did when Bucky said those words to him. Because when Steve said them, they meant something so different. 

"Bucky, I-"

"Shut up Stevie." Bucky mumbled as he pulled Steve forward and crashed their lips together.

Steve's eyes went huge and he froze. When Bucky pulled back he studied Steve's face and frowned. 

"Shit, that was your first kiss!" Bucky smacked himself in the forehead. "And I ruined it! Steve I'm so sorry. You just looked so sad and scared and like I was gonna hit ya or something and I panicked and-"

"Shut up Bucky." Steve mumbled, grabbing him and pulling him forward until their lips met again. 

Bucky blinked a few times before he melted into the kiss. He moved his hands down Steve's side and quickly spun the two and sat. Steve broke the kiss and looked down at Bucky and chuckled. 

"You're a jerk James Buchanan Barnes." Steve whispered as Bucky wrapped a hand around the back of Steve's neck. 

"And you're a punk Steven Grant Rogers." 

After that day the two kept their relationship a secret. Bucky would occasionally take girls out on dates to keep up his "ladies man" reputation and Steve tried to get dates, but the two soon learned girls didn't like him. It didn't bother either. 

Their families knew of their relationship and that was it. However, they didn't do anything other than kiss, Steve still being scared he'd damned them for his feelings. Bucky never believed that, but respected Steve and gladly just sat on his or Steve's bed and enjoyed kissing his boyfriend. 

After Steve's mother died, when he was 18, the two moved in together, and Bucky greatly appreciated that. He could watch over Steve and be close to him all the time. Steve was still nervous about doing anything more than kissing, but Bucky noticed when Steve would get hard he wouldn't immediately jump off him, instead he'd grind against his leg a little and moan into their kissing. Again, Bucky didn't push or complain, he simply just enjoyed Steve's actions. 

So after Steve's 19th birthday when he came to him and told him he wanted to do more, Bucky was shocked. Bucky sat him down and discussed what it was Steve wanted to do exactly. An asthma, panic and stuttering attack later Bucky was smirking and kissing his boyfriend. 

And that's how Steve found himself laying 

on his back, taking deep breaths as he watched Bucky pull his pants down. In the back of his head he felt what they were doing was still considered wrong, but he pushed those thoughts away. He thought of what his mother use to always tell him. How any God that would hate someone for who they loved was not a God worth worshipping. He believed the God that him and Bucky prayed to loved them and accepted them, even if others didn't.

"Hey," Steve was pulled from his thoughts. He turned his head and saw Bucky staring at him, "we don't have to do this Steve. You know I love you and how we are."

Steve pushed himself up and crossed his legs. "I know Buck, but I want to do this...I mean...if you're okay with it."

Bucky smiled and crawled into the bed and cupped Steve's face. "Of course I am. Now, lay back darling, so we can do this."

Steve nodded and laid down, Bucky following him. The two got comfortable on their backs and smiled at each other. Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve's forehead and chuckled when he saw the blush spread over Steve's cheeks to his ears and down his neck to his chest. Bucky wanted so badly to reach out and rub his hand down Steve's chest, but he held back, not wanting to scare Steve. He figured if Steve was willing to do this it was just a matter of time before he'd want more. 

"You sure you don't want me to do it?" Bucky whispered, kissing Steve's shoulder. 

"Yes. Just, I want us to watch each other." Steve whispered back. 

Bucky nodded and held his hand up to Steve's face. Steve gave him a questioning look and Bucky laughed. 

"Will you at least lick my hand so it's your spit I'm using?" 

Steve's cock twitched at that and he felt like his heart was going to explode. He took a deep breath and could feel himself turning redder. Nodding his head he grabbed Bucky's hand and brought it to his mouth. Not really sure what to do he started kissing the center, then ran his tongue up until it reached the top of Bucky's middle finger. He closed his eyes then wrapped his lips around Bucky's fingers and took them as deep in his mouth as he could. He started moving them in and out of his mouth, making sure to run his tongue up and down. After doing that a few more times he kissed down Bucky's fingers then ran his tongue from the center of his hand to his thumb and repeated the action there. When he heard Bucky moan he froze and opened his eyes then looked at the other man. Bucky had his other hand wrapped around his cock and was slowly stroking it while watching Steve. 

"Fuck Stevie, you going behind my back and sucking guys off?" 

Steve quickly pulled Bucky's hand away from his mouth and started to stutter. Before he could get an answer out Bucky just chuckled and wrapped his spit covered hand around Steve's jaw and pulled him in for a kiss. 

"It was a joke, your mouth just felt nice on my hand is all." 

Steve smiled and nodded. He watched as Bucky switched hands and started to pump himself with the hand Steve had in his mouth. A low groan fell from his lips and he grabbed Steve's thigh. 

"Baby, please, touch yourself." Bucky asked looking down at Steve's hard cock. 

Steve nodded and slowly wrapped a hand around himself and moved his hand up and down. He bit his lip at the feeling that shot through him. Sure he'd rubbed himself on Bucky a few times, but it felt nothing like this. 

"That's it darling," Bucky whispered, squeezing Steve's thigh, "use the precum and speed up. It'll feel better."

Steve nodded, watching Bucky's hand move from the base of his cock to the top and then back down. Steve rubbed his hand over the tip and hissed at the feeling. After taking a deep breath he tried to copy Bucky's movements. He ran his hand up and down his cock at an experimental speed, he started to speed up and squeezed it a bit harder, finding that brought him more pleasure. 

"Like how it feels punk?" Bucky asked, watching as Steve spread his legs wider and picked his pace up. 

Steve just nodded and watched Bucky run his thumb over the tip of his dick. He copied the movement and let out a loud moan. Bucky chuckled and leaned over and placed a kiss to Steve's cheek. 

"You look so beautiful when you're in pleasure like this Steve." Bucky whispered, looking at Steve's face as he made an 'O' shape with his mouth. 

"S-so do you, B-b-b-fuck-BUCKY!" Steve yelled as a wave of pleasure hit him and made him arch his back. 

"Close Steve?" Bucky asked, feeling his cock twitch at the noise and face Steve made. 

Steve turned his face so he could look at Bucky and nodded. Bucky smiled and placed a quick kiss to his lips before looking back down at Steve's hand. 

"Sweetheart you've gotta keep moving your hand if you wanna finish." 

"I-I can't," Steve panted, "it's too mu-uch."

"Do you want me to-"

"No, I-I can do it. Just...just give me a minute."

Bucky nodded and kissed Steve's shoulder and whispered encouraging things to him. A few minutes later Steve started moving his hand again at a fast pace. He turned his head towards Bucky and smiled when he saw he was doing the same. 

"B-buck, I'm-"

"Cum for me darling, I wanna hear ya." Bucky whispered.

Steve moaned and pumped his cock a few more times then stopped as white ropes shot over his chest and hand. Bucky groaned at the sight and moved his hand faster on himself as he watched Steve's chest rise and fall. He watched as Steve's hand slowly moved up his stomach and through his cum. He moved his eyes up and lost it when he saw Steve staring at him with lidded eyes and a sloppy smile. 

Bucky sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve's and took a deep breath. "Well, how was it?"

"I liked it." Steve said, moving to sit up. "I just don't like how sticky I am now."

Bucky smirked and rolled over so he was laying between Steve's legs. He chuckled at how red the man's face turned. "Wanna take a bath and maybe try this again?" 

Steve smiled at this and ran a hand down Bucky's cheek. "How about we bath, but this time do it to each other?"

Bucky's eyes lit up at this. He jumped off the bed, picked Steve up, then ran to the bathroom, Steve chuckling the whole time. 

Tag list: @romaniansweetheart

(If you wanna be tagged let me know 😊)

[fyrapartnersearch]

❀ Fandom Cravings ❀

About me: ✦ Feel free to call me MC. ✦ I’m over 21 and asking only those 21+ to contact me. ✦ Open to writing more smut based stories/smut with plot. ✦ Only looking to roleplay through Google Docs. ✦ I’m fairly open to playing with/against any sexuality or gender. (trans/nonbinary/genderfluid+ inclusive) ✦ My preference is typically m/f as my “main” pairing. (I hate calling it that but I genuinely have no clue how else to phrase it.) ✦ Primarily Canon x OC (open to OC x OC, could be convinced to do Canon x Canon) ✦ I have no problem doubling to suit my partner’s own cravings.

✦ Able to write anywhere from 1-10+ paragraphs.

✦ Hit me up with those AUs and clichés~! ♡ ♡ ♡ Extra: ✧ I expect my partner to put effort in detail, grammar and punctuation, ideally providing at least two paragraphs for me to work with. With that said I will always be a firm believer of quality over quantity. ✧ No one-liners, no first-person. I write in third-person.

✧ I must add that I need a flexible partner, meaning someone who doesn’t demand a response every single day. I’m sorry, if that’s what you’re looking for then it’s unlikely we’d be a good match. Sometimes I can post multiple times a day, sometimes it’s once a week. I try to let any and all partners know if I’m unable to reply after a week if you see nothing new from me. Just putting that out there so there’s no surprises. Adding on I do my best to be active in OOC chatter, typically through discord.

✧ OOC chatter greatly appreciated to the point I would even dare to say it's a "must", to an extent. Communication in general keeps interest alive and I genuinely value establishing a friendly relationship with all my RP partners. Makes a world of difference aiding the creative flow. ✧ Even if our roleplay is mostly story focused, I would consider it a “requirement” of sorts that any and all future partners has to be comfortable writing out “mature” content. Broad phrasing, I know, and I do sincerely mean that beyond just the obvious being NSFW scenes. ✧ Please do not contact me if you’re the type to “ghost”. I don’t have the energy to deal with flaky people. I’m a big kid; just be upfront if there’s a loss of interest or you simply feel we don’t vibe/our styles don’t mesh well. ✧ If you read my expectations of sorts, please title your message with the last song you listened to and your favorite color.  What I’m looking for:

Current fandoms I’m interested in -- Attack on Titan ; My Hero Academia ; Marvel. 

Attack on Titan: I primarily had watched the anime then finished the series reading the manga where it left off and yes, this is fairly crucial to me. Even if we heavily diverge from the story, I would prefer to write with someone familiar with what’s covered in the manga versus solely what’s been animated thus far. I'm looking for someone to play Levi as my OC's love interest. Overall I want to stay true to canon, to an extent. Though I'm not totally opposed to going original, it doesn't appeal to me much. As you may notice with my other fandom listings, A/B/O or Omegaverse, is my favored AU to use and one I am strongly craving at the moment. This includes a potential AOT roleplay. 

My Hero Academia: I'm caught up on the manga and would strongly prefer to write with someone similarly up to date with the series. At the moment these are the canons I'd like potentially matched against my OC by order of current favorites; Tomura Shigaraki, Kai Chisaki, and Shota Aizawa. 

For Shigaraki and Chisaki I'd want to include "yandere" like qualities, so please bear that in mind before contacting me. This is a very specific craving and a particular version I personally enjoy that differs from your traditional "yandere". Additionally I would love any excuse to go the A/B/O or Omegaverse AU route as well. Other than that, for the most part I would like to follow the canon plot, to an extent, taking into account OC(s) and potential AUs used of course. 

Marvel: I'm looking for someone to play Bucky opposite of my OC. I fell in love with Bucky's character all over again after recently binging FATWS. It should be noted that I have not read any of the comics, but there are some basic details I've come across over the years and would love to incorporate in an RP. One being to bring in Bucky's cat, Alpine. 

Should probably also mention I have no prior experience writing a Marvel related story. What I lack in experience I hope to make up for in enthusiasm! All I really ask is if I double for any partner(s), they will be patient with me in figuring out how to play their canon favorite. Moving on, there is a lot from the movies I do not like; I'll explain to any potential partners that reach out. 

It's safe to assume I'm heavily interested in an AU, or multiple AUs used, while still mostly staying true to canon. Some prime examples of AUs I favor -- A/B/O or Omegaverse and Soulmate AU. Even better if we can do both! I've written stories before doing so, they're an absolute blast. I'm also immensely interested in playing around with multiverse, as it is related to the OC I have in mind to write against Bucky. Do bear that in mind. Of course I'm plenty interested in hearing any ideas my potential RP partner(s) might have too! Please feel free to gush over your canon fav/your OC and anything in particular you might be craving at the moment for the Marvel verse. 

Though this post is primarily focused on Attack on Titan, My Hero Academia and Marvel I'm more than happy to write a different fandom for my partner(s) ; I'm all for equal play. Do feel free to reach out and request another fandom you might be craving at the moment in exchange for playing one of my requested canons for me. 

Note: Any characters involved romantically will all be 18+.

If interested you can reach me by email: wellsotheysay@gmail.com

[imaginationintowords]

Wanderlust Adventures

Chapter 16

Reader x Bucky!Travel Blogger; Social Media AU

Series Masterlist

[a/n: This will be the second to last chapter of the series. Thank you for supporting this series! Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. If you reblog I will comment back. This is a sub-blog so I cannot reply back to replies. Again thank you for all the love on this series.]

Y/n arrives outside of Bucky's mom's house in Brooklyn. Steve was waiting for her outside, like he said he would. He helps her with her baggage.

"Thanks." She says.

"No, thank-you." Steve replies.

She notices his appearance, very different from how he looked in Europe. He was clearly trying not to break down himself. Y/n gave him a hug, he let out a short sigh and hugged back tightly.

"How is he?" Y/n asks.

"Not good. He hasn't eaten anything since we've been back. Sam and I have been taking turns keeping an eye on him." He tells her as they walk up the front steps of the house.

Steve abruptly stops right before the door.

"Just want to give you a heads up. It's a bit of a mess in there. He went on a bit of a rampage and broke a few things," He warns her, "And Bucky doesn't look how he left you."

She nods her head, understanding what he was telling her.

Y/n started to feel like maybe she shouldn't be here. Who is she to Bucky? Who is she to come in here and help a man she only met two weeks prior. But if the people closest o him thinks she can help, then it's worth the shot.

As they walk into the door she's greet with someone yelling and banging on a door. She and Steve move farther into the house, Steve placing her luggage in the living room. She quickly took a look around to notice the damage Bucky had done, trying not to step on broken cups, plates, or picture frames.

"Bucky, open the door!" Sam yelled, as they found him in the middle of the hallway outside a door.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"He locked himself in there and refuses to let me in. Or answer me." Sam explains, finally noticing Y/n with Steve.

"Thank- you for coming." Sam greets her with a tight hug.

Steve looks at her with pleading eyes, then back towards the door.

"I can give it a try." She whispers.

"Thank-you." Sam says, "We'll give you two some space."

"We'll be cleaning up out there. Just yell." she nods.

Sam and Steve left her alone in the hallway. Y/n took a deep breath and knocked on the unknown door.

"Bucky. Hey it's Y/n." she said, pressed against the door.

On the other side of the door, sat Bucky frozen at the sound of Y/n's voice.

"Bet you weren't expecting to hear my voice." She tries to keep it lighthearted.

"Steve called me. He and Sam are really worried about you. He also told me what's going on. I am so sorry James. I can't even imagine what you could possibly be going through." She paused for a second, "I'm here if you want to talk, or you just need someone to sit with you."

She waits outside the door quietly for a minute, before she hears some quiet movements from the other side. Then she hears the unlocking of the door, and some more shuffling around.

She took another deep breath, before opening the door.

She walked in and softly closed the door behind her. She took a look around to discover that this must've been Bucky's childhood room. She then notices Bucky sat on his bed, facing the window, his back towards her.

She made her way towards him, and took a seat to his left.

"Hi." she softly said, looking at his side profile.

"Hi." He very quietly said, that she wasn't even sure if he said anything.

He looked at her. She finally understood what Steve meant. He looked so broken, clearly having not slept since arriving, the dark bags under his eyes letting her know that. The sight alone broke her heart. 

She slowly brought her hand up to his tear stained cheek. Gently caressing his cheek. Bucky closed his eyes at the gentle touch, leaning more into it as she softly rubbed it with her thumb.

No words being said, just a comforting silence enveloping them. Y/n not wanting to push him to talking when he clearly didn't want to.

Bucky stopped her hand, she was taken back until he rested his head on her shoulder. She relaxed at his touch, wrapping her arm around him as best as she could. Just holding him.

After a few minutes of silence she looked at her shoulder to find Bucky had fallen asleep.

She smiled, finally he'll get a moment of peace. She slowly moved his head off her shoulder, laying him down on the bed, then placing his feet up as well. She grabbed a blanket at the foot of his bed to cover him with. Placing a soft kiss to his forehead before walking away.

As she was starting to leave his side, she felt a hand grab her wrist, she looked down then back to the man it was connected to.

"Stay with me. Please." he sadly said looking up at her.

"Of course." she softly smiled at him.

Y/n took her shoes off and climbed in next to him, where he had scooted over making room for her. She laid with her back to him as he wrapped his arm around her, cuddling up against her.

"Thank-you for coming." he whispered against her neck.

"Anytime." she replied, lacing her fingers through the ones that held her.

[Social Media AU]: Y/n is a popular travel blogger, and a freelance travel writer for a magazine. She travels the world with her two best friends, Valkyrie who is a freelance graphic designer that the reader “drags” out of bed to see the world, and Carol who’s a new up and coming model. This is the first time in a year all three girls are traveling together due to Carol’s new busy career. A month long European excursion, that might end up being their last trip together due to their lives taking them elsewhere. Bucky Barnes used to be a model but now travels the world with his best friends. He has a hard time commiting to one thing, which is why he loves to travel so much. He travels the world with his two best friends, Steve who runs a gym in Brooklyn and Sam, who works for a popular food magazine where he gets to travel and eat all the food he wants. Bucky has once again convinced his childhood best friends to join him on a month long trip to escape the trapped feeling of being back in New York. Steve and Sam are worried about Bucky and his constant need to runaway from his issues, they’re hoping this trip will be an eye opener for their friend. Inspired by: @geosaurusrrex’s social media AUs.

To support my ko-fi

[Tagged: @neerness @free-2bmee​ @veronawrites @malionnex @sickeningly-sweet-honey @ravenkake @lolychu @angstybadboytrash @ghost-brocolli @quokkatrash @whothehellisbucky @everything-is-awesomesauce @take-me-to-ny @chloemac86 @smolandrare-coffee-bean @p-marie-sp @kakakatey @thetired-bi @nerdgirljen @itsgiorgiaz @bitchwhytho @hobodolly @marvelousstyles @a-book-pressed-rose​ @moshymosh​ @randomthingsthoughts​ @xjiasx​ @momobaby227​​ @thewackywriter​​ @meganlikesfandoms​ @awesomeepossumm​ @emo-ish-but-in-mcu​ @ihaeresortedtonothingness​ ]

[Permanent tagged: Permanent tagged: @definitelynotafangirl @1awesomeash @princess-evans-addict @geeksareunique @sebbbystaaan if you’d like to be removed just ask and I’d be happy to do so]

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Shades of Winter - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You finally get to meet James Bucky Barnes. You two are an instant click but would this eventually lead to something good or something bad?

Word Count: 3140

Warnings: The reader talks about past memories such as: kidnapping, torture, starvation, violence. A bit of angst. Also If you like the Hobbit movies, I'm so sorry (yes this is tw) Also if there is anything else let me know.

Author’s Note: A little bit more in-depth on who y/n is in my Bucky fics. Other than that this has been in my archives for a hot minute so.

reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged! But please, DO NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics!

It has been a couple of years since you returned to the Avengers Quarters. You had been on the run before the blipped happened. But you have finally told yourself that enough is enough. You always knew that the Avengers would be your family, so you decided to go back to them.

The first person you were excited to see after a while was Sam. So, you decided to go to his hometown and give him a visit.

When you arrived, you notice that there was a party. You felt a little bit left out. But you pushed those feelings aside since Sam didn’t know that you were coming along as well.

Once you laid your eyes on Sam, you knew that you needed to sneak up on him and scare him.

There was loud music playing in the background, so you took that as an advantage. You quietly sneak up to Sam, getting on your toes as you try to cover his eyes.

Sam turns around, putting up his guard. When he notices that you tried to sneak up on him, you could see the relief on his face. He didn’t think twice but to hug you. “Where have you been? You go incognito mode and don’t visit me. I’ve been worried about you.”

You hug him back, “I just needed a break from the world and traveled a bit.” You chuckled a little bit. “But I’m back and better than ever.”

He starts to ramble as you two catch each other up on everything that has happened the past couple of years. You two start to walk up to the docks. You notice how beautiful it was with the sun setting how the sun reflected on the water. You were amazed.

“Hey, I’ll be back. Do you want anything to eat?” Sam pointed to the table that had nothing but plates of food in it. Your small smiled formed on your face as you shook your head.

Walking around, you notice so many little kids running around and having fun. It was such a positive place to be. You could feel the aura around you just filled with joy.

Without noticing where you were walking, you bump into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ you look back at him. The first thing that you noticed was his ocean blue eyes. You could stare at those eyes for hours.

Breaking the eye contact, you took a few steps back so that you wouldn’t be close to him anymore. “I’m Bucky.” He places his hands in the pockets of his black jean jacket. There was a smirk on his face.

“uh, y/n” you had a confused smile on your face.

“y/n,” Bucky says in a deep flirty tone of voice, he looks around, and that smirk became a smile. “I’ll see you around y/n,” he winked as he walked away.

Why did your name sound so much better when he said it. Something about him made you curious. You were on the fence if whether or not you wanted to know more about him or just let him be a mystery. But either way, you knew the moment you bumped into him, Bucky was going to become a trouble.

During the blip, when you helped, there would be moments that Steve would tell stories of Bucky when they were younger. In those stories, Steve would describe him as the most caring friend and always attached to a book such as The Hobbit.

Throughout the day, you would occasionally interact with Bucky. He would ask you random questions such as what your favorite color was? What flowers did you like? He wanted to get to know you.

“So, you are telling me that I should watch the movies and how there are three of them.” Bucky takes a sip of his drink.

You chuckled a little bit “yes, I like the book versions better. But it’s so nice seeing them come to life.”

“I’ll make a note of that, Doll.”

Going back home, you never expected to talk to Bucky again. You didn't have any of his contact information either way, and he didn't have yours.

A couple of days pass by when you receive a message from an unknown number.

10:38 AM "hey there, are you busy this afternoon?"

You decided to ignore the message; it might have been sent to someone else instead of you.

10:45 AM "shit, sorry, It's Bucky."

The moment that you read that, it was Bucky that sent you that message. You wondered how he got your number. Could it have been Steve? Sam? Nat? That gave him your number.

These thoughts were running through your head and were interrupted by that number calling you.

"So, are you busy this afternoon?"

"No, Hi, how are you? How is life? Just going right to asking me what I'm doing this afternoon, what a great start James." You said in an annoying tone of voice.

"Hi, Doll. How are you? There is that better," he said in a mocking voice. Even though you couldn't see him, you could tell that he was rolling his eyes.

You wanted to hang up, but a part of you didn't want to do it. "So much better, thank you." You said sarcastically. "I'm doing nothing later. I'm probably just going to go home and make some dinner."

"You can always say no. But I just bought the three Hobbit movies, and I wondered if you wanted to watch them with me? And Tony is throwing a party tomorrow, and I thought if you wanted to go."

This took you by surprise, it hasn't been an entire week of knowing him, and he is already asking you over to his apartment. "Yeah, that would be fun," you said once again sarcastically. You didn't mean to sound it like that.

When you agreed that you would watch the series with him and to the party, a part of you knew that you had done something you might regret in the long run, but the other part you wanted to see where this would take you, and you wanted to explore it. Something about him made you curious, and you wanted to know why. Why, out of all the people that you had met, he is the one that sparks curiosity in you.

Once again, these thoughts are interrupted by him "I didn't hear a no, so I'm assuming you said yes. I'll send you my address. Meet me here in two hours." He hangs up.

Two hours pass by, and you were unsure what to bring, so you brought a couple of snacks. Walking into Bucky's apartment, there weren't many decorations. It seemed like he had just moved in. There wasn't much besides a small sofa and a tv. It was a very dark place with little to no light coming through.

Bucky notices that you were looking around "sorry if I had more time, I would have cleaned a bit better."

Your eyes widen as you were confused. You look around once again. His place was way cleaner than what your apartment looked like. "you consider this dirty. You should see mine" Bucky goes near the light switch and turns on the lights of the kitchen.

The instant he turned on the lights, that's when you notice what he was wearing. He was wearing a white muscle shirt with a pair of gym shorts, and his hair was messy, and you were able to tell that he had a couple of curls.

If heart eyes were a thing, you would have had them at this exact moment. Bucky was way more handsome than he was when you first met him. As the thoughts continued through your head, you knew that you needed to stop them before you ended up drooling over him.

He points to his bedroom. "I'm going to go change. I have to hide this." He was referring to his left arm. He wasn't sure how you would react to it, and he thought that he should have worn something to cover it before you decided to show up.

You grab the wrist of his metal arm. "It's okay. I don't mind. Besides that, I think it makes you more attractive" the moment that the word attractive escaped your mouth, you could feel your cheeks turn red and your body heat rise. Why did you say that? Especially towards him. Your mind was full of regrets, but at the same time, you didn't care because he was truly attractive.

Bucky covers his mouth with his right hand, trying to cover his laugh. You playfully hit his arm "this isn't funny, Bucky. I'm so close to turning around and making you watch the Hobbit alone." You crossed your arms together. You were getting annoyed with him. All you wanted to do was come over and watch movies with him.

"Fine, I'll stop. But it doesn't mean that I'm not going to hold this against you." Bucky chuckled.

Bucky goes to his bedroom, brings a blanket, and tries to ensure that his place can be as cosey as possible, even though it was dark.

Halfway through the third movie, you could see that he was extremely disappointed. If he could rate the movie, you would 100% be sure he would give it a -1000 rate. "Why the fuck did Peter tell me that these were great. They are complete garbage" Bucky raises his voice. Deep down, he did enjoy the movies. He just wanted to see a reaction out of you. But you were calm since this was your 5th time watching these films.

You couldn't help but laugh at how disappointed Bucky was. He turns to face you and notices the face of amusement you had on "this isn't a joke, Doll. I thought they would be great." He rolls his eyes.

When the movie ended, he put on the sports channel and started to watch it. As much as you loved watching sports, you slowly went to sleep. You felt comfortable around him. It had only been a couple of days that you had met him, so you found it odd.

You fell asleep on his right shoulder. When Bucky felt that you placed your head on his shoulder, a small smile formed on his face, he was unsure why he felt comfortable with you. But he knows that you were going to be one heck of trouble from now on.

Bucky looks at you and notices that you were fast asleep. He can't help but to carry you in his arms and take you to his bed. He made sure to tuck you in.

After he tucked you in, he went back to the living room and continued to watch his sports.

------------------

Around midnight, you woke up. Not because you had a nightmare, but because you felt like you were in an unknown location. As soon as you woke up, you panicked and started to look around. You immediately went into fight or flight mode in case If you were in danger. Walking outside of the bedroom, you notice Bucky was sleeping on the floor.

Seeing him on the floor, you drastically put your guard down. You sighed in relief that you were with him and no one else. You go into the kitchen to grab a mug to make yourself tea. When you prepared your tea, you went back to Bucky's bedroom and opened the window outside to let some fresh air in. You wrapped yourself with the blanket Bucky gave you, and you held your knees up to your chest as you drank from the mug.

This was the first time you had ever woken up without having a nightmare. You wondered why was it because of Bucky? As your thoughts were running, you could hear someone come into the room. You turn around and notice it was Bucky. "Someone is up early." He chuckled.

A smile formed on your face. "It looks like you are up early too" you rolled your eyes.

There was silence between you and him. You hated being silent, but with him, you didn't mind.

"Is everything alright?" Bucky whispered. You turn your head towards him, and you nodded. "you can tell me anything, you know." He places his hand on your shoulder.

You lift your eyebrows, unsure if he was messing around with you. "I just met you, like yesterday. Why would I-"

"Five days ago, to be exacted." He said in a snarky tone of voice as he interrupted you.

"Fine, you want to know.” You looked away from him because you knew you would start being vulnerable, and you didn't want to see Bucky's reaction or what face he was making. “For the longest time, I've had nightmares back-to-back. But oddly enough, tonight I didn't have any."

"if you don't mind me asking," Bucky takes a big gulp before saying anything. He knew that you were a bit uncomfortable, and he didn't want to push you. "Why do you have nightmares?" "I used to have them constantly because of who I was. It took me time to understand that the winter soldier wasn't me, and jeez, till this day, there would be moments where I doubt myself, but I'm getting better."

Hearing him tell you a little bit of himself made you feel more at ease. You take a big breath before you start telling him why you would have these nightmares. "At a very young age, both of my parents were killed. My brother died as well, trying to protect us. One of the Hydra agents forcefully made me go to one of their camps. I fought for the first couple of months, trying to get out. But eventually, I gave up. I thought they provided me a roof to stay under, and even though they barely fed me, I was somewhat grateful. I could have it worse. They taught me how to fight, how to hold a gun, etc. When I was a teen, I was tortured, starved more than before, and experimented on."

He grabs your hand and tries his best to comfort you. He knew that this was a lot for you to tell him. "They wanted to see if they could make me into a mutant but with every little alternation of genetics. Nothing worked. Even if it did, I didn't want them to know about it. At that point, I just was numb; I didn't want to live anymore. So I let things happen to me. Hoping one day my body just gave up. Till this day, some of those things that they did I don't remember, nor I want to." You take a small pause as you heard yourself. You felt so comfortable telling him about your past.

Your voice started to crack as you thought more about your past. You tried your best not to cry. "After I escaped, I moved to Washington, Nat found me there, and I started to work at SHIELD. Nat was the only person that knew me and helped me get better."

Bucky was unsure how to react to what you had just told him. He had mixed emotions. He didn't know why he felt anger, sadness, grief, and disappointing feelings towards you. But he knew that it took you a lot of courage to tell him all of these things. He sits on the floor next to you and hugs you. The second that he hugged you, you couldn't help but cry. He was the second person to know your story. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I shouldn't have told you. You've been through much worse, and I wish you didn't-"

"Doll, don't apologize. None of this was your fault. I'm glad that you told me. We both didn't deserve anything of that." he held you for a couple of more minutes and let you cry. He wanted to tell you more, that he was glad that you left when you had the chance. That he hated that you were in that position, he wanted to comfort you. He couldn't find the words. So all he did was hold you.

After a couple of minutes, you were grateful that he listened to every word you said. But you were mentally exhausted, and you just wanted to go to bed. You got up and placed the cup on the nightstand, and started to get ready to leave. When Bucky grabs your arm, "stay the night, it's already late enough to walk around." His voice was small and a bit shaky. "You can stay in my bed, and I can sleep on the floor. Please stay."

You agreed to stay the night with him, and he goes to his closet and grabs you some clothes to sleep comfortably. They fit all baggy on you, but you didn't care. You didn't want to sleep uncomfortably. The moment you got out of the bathroom, Bucky chuckled as he looked how big his clothes looked on you. You ended up rolling your eyes.

Bucky laid on the floor next to his bed. As you were closing your eyes, you felt some guilt, so you look to where Bucky was lying. "Buck, come up here." You whispered.

"Nah, I'm comfortable sleeping on the floor." He turns around, facing away from you.

You grab a pillow and throw it to him "well, I'm not. So get your ass up here before I drag you."

"I would like to see you try, Doll." He chuckled. Once again, you threw another pillow at him, accidentally hitting his head. "Fine, I'm going." He grunted.

Lucky enough Bucky had a queen bed. So you had enough room for yourself and him. "One thing, don't invade my bubble, and we won't end up fighting. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go to sleep."

Within minutes you two were in a deep sleep.

-------------------------

When you two finally arrived at Tony’s Party. Bucky couldn’t help but be curious about what was happening between the two of you.

He couldn’t help it anymore. He decided to ask you, “So, what are we?”

“What do you mean what are we, Bucky?” there was a confused smile on your face.

“yeah, like are we friends, or I don’t know?” he nervously laughed, unsure if he should be asking this.

You laughed a little “Friends is a bit too much. I don’t think we are there yet.” You teased him. You gently punched his arm.

“Are we acquaintances?”

“I like that. We are for sure acquaintances.” You chuckled.

“you think it’s funny, but I can live with that, Doll.” He shrugs his shoulders.

And just like that, two strangers who never planned on caring for one another became the most inseparable pair.

[shadowsof-thenight]

Flashlight: Chapter nineteen

Story summary: This is an AU Two years ago, the love of your life walked out the door, breaking your heart into a million pieces. He had been unable to deal with his ptsd and you hadn’t been able to help him.Now that your best friend is marrying his friend, he’s coming back to town and you try to brace yourself for the reunion. Will you finally get closure?

Ship: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Warnings: None, I think

Words: 3839

***

A/N: I found a new beta!!! A huge thank you to @gnomewithalaptop​ for helping me! Other than that, writing is going slow, but there are plenty of ideas —so things will come!

Feedback is greatly appreciated! And if you want to get tagged, let me know.

***

Masterlist                                              Story Masterlist

***

“Yo!” Natasha’s elated voice sounded from the speaker of your phone. It echoed through the kitchen as you started getting your breakfast ready.

“Yo?” You replied, a little confused by her attitude at this early hour.

She chuckled, followed by a crunch, and you knew she was munching down on her favourite cereal. Natasha prided herself on changing her morning routine frequently; she was convinced it was beneficial for her health. You weren’t certain if that was true, but you knew she always returned to the same type of cereal after a little while.

“I need you to keep next Saturday free,” she said after a few moments and a very audible swallow. She was teasing you— she knew how the sounds of someone chewing and swallowing loudly could raise the hairs on the back of your neck. You tried to ignore it, not willing to give her the satisfaction. Though, if she kept it up, you both knew that there’d be a groan or a snippy remark leaving your mouth soon enough.

“Mhhm okay,” you finally said after quietly counting to ten.“May I know why?”

“It’s a surprise.” You could practically hear the smirk in your friend’s voice. Her surprises were always a little out there. Which could go one of two ways, really well or really bad. Her intentions were always good— the execution not exactly. “A fun one?” You asked, hoping against hope that she would give you a hint.

“Absolutely,” Natasha said confidently. She was giddy and that worried you a little.

What did she have planned for you? She wouldn’t make you do something you didn’t want, right? Your mind instantly went back to the time she decided on the colour that you were supposed to dye your hair in an attempt to annoy your parents. It was supposed to be a wash-out brand, but Nat had decided on bright blue, and apparently that colour was tough to get out. You ended up actually having to get your hair dyed to get the colour out, which really annoyed your parents at the time, though they laugh about it now.

Then there was the time where she had convinced you that the rollercoaster you were getting on wasn’t that wild or scary. A terrible decision that left her holding back your hair as you threw up in a bin around the back of the ride.

Natasha knew you better than anyone, and she worked hard to get you out of your comfort zone, to be a little more daring. You smiled at the memories, because even if it did not always pan out, your life would have been a lot more boring without her. You would most likely have never taken a single chance in life. You would have never been brave enough to kiss Bucky during a school dance, which was what prompted him to ask you out on a date. How different your life would’ve been without your demanding, daring, caring, and confident best friend.

With that being said, when Saturday rolled around, you were extremely nervous. After spending the better part of the week trying to get some information from Natasha, you were none the wiser. She was good at keeping secrets. A great quality in a friendship, except when she was keeping something from you, of course.

Natasha had come over the night before, eager to make it a sleepover, since the men had decided on having a boys-night out. Your alarm would ring at seven in the morning and she knew better than to expect Clint to be quiet as he rolled into their bed at five. Which was the usual hour after these nights. So the two of you had dinner, watched a movie and then went to bed rather early at Natasha’s request.

Natasha woke up first and was already fully dressed by the time she shook you awake in a not-so-gentle way. Groaning, you turned away from her and complained loudly when she did not relent. Chuckling, she pulled you up and ushered you into the bathroom. It wasn’t until you were in the shower that you realised that your alarm hadn’t even gone off yet. Annoyed, you leaned into the warm water and vowed to go through your routine at a more leisurely pace than usual. As if that was her punishment and not actually for your own delight. It wasn’t until Natasha knocked on the door, urging you to hurry, that you realised that you had been massaging shampoo into your hair for the better part of five minutes. Rushing through the rest of your routine, you were dressed and at the breakfast table by 7:30.

There you were greeted with an elaborate breakfast provided by Natasha. To make up for the early morning, she had made your favourite breakfast dish— blueberry pancakes. And while you appreciated the gesture, it also made you wonder just what she had in store for you today.

By eight o’clock you were in the car, moving towards the highway out of town. Natasha had told you that your appointment was at ten, so the ride would be long, but you never needed much to have fun together. You adjusted the seat to your preference and stared out of the window as Natasha turned on the radio. At some point you must have dozed off, until a catchy song on the radio woke you up. Natasha smiled as you sat up straighter, and she turned the volume up with a wink in your direction. Not long after that, you were both singing along to the lyrics at the top of your voice.

With twenty minutes to spare, Natasha pulled into the parking lot of a small airport, and your heart began to race. What was she planning to do here? Natasha beamed at you and got out of the car, waiting patiently for you to follow her. Which took you a moment as you breathed deeply in and slowly out, wiping your suddenly sweaty palms on your jeans. Somehow you did not believe that she had brought you here for a simple flight. If you had known just how right you were, you would have locked yourself inside the car right then and there. Instead you just stepped out and let her lead you towards a small building where a tall middle-aged man greeted the two of you with a bright smile and a few kind words.

Before you could truly register what was happening, you had been through some instructions and ended up strapped into a harness and hooked to an instructor as he moved you through the small plane and towards the opened door. Wind whipped at your hair, pulling fly-aways out of your braid. It tugged at the jumpsuit you’d put on earlier, and despite the padding, you were chilled to the bone. Though that might have been from fear and not actual cold. Your stomach churned and you wondered if you were really going to do this.

By now your feet were dangling over the edge, and you were certain that your bladder was about to give out— even though it was surely empty. You were mere seconds from pulling out when the instructor began his countdown, preparing you for the jump. Glancing to the side, Natasha gave you two thumbs up as she smiled brightly, excitedly. She was truly enjoying this. You, however, were not.

The worst part of it was, this had been your idea. Sort of. You had been so stupid to mention this during the brainstorm session with Natasha and Wanda, though you had been joking. Apparently, the joke was on you now. Which was exactly how you felt, a joke. Worse, the punchline to a bad joke. You were such an idiot. You could have bowed out on the ground, but you hadn’t. A part of you had thought it would be fun. Scary, but fun. So you had stepped onto the plane. How you regretted that now.

“One!” Called the instructor tied to your back, and he pushed off. Both of you dropped from the plane and plummeted to the ground.

The wind pulled at your skin, taking your breath away, as well as any ability to scream. It took some effort to close your mouth as you watched the ground come closer and closer, realising just how high you had been. You were still scared, so incredibly scared, and yet, for a single moment, as you fell, it was also exhilarating. There was a weightlessness to it, a freedom fuelled by adrenaline. Suddenly all your worries were gone, pushed from your mind; nothing else seemed to matter— nothing but this weightless freedom. Nothing but the parachute and the desperate hope that it would work, that your instructor would manage to land you both safely on the ground. Which should be an easy feat for the experienced man behind you.

In the plane you had gotten a full explanation on how the landing would go and as the ground neared, the instructor yelled out a few reminders. You nodded, unable to speak with those winds still whipping at your face. He gave you his signal and while he pulled the toggles to slow the speed of your descent, you pulled your legs up against your chest. It felt very counterintuitive to curl up as the ground came closer, but you told yourself that this was necessary for a safe landing. Otherwise you’d risk getting your feet tangled with those of the man behind you, and that would definitely cause problems. The landing was over in seconds, and you found yourself seated on the dry grass with a huge smile on your face.  

Natasha landed mere moments after you, and as soon as she was free of the bindings that had tied her to her own instructor and their parachute, you wrapped her in your arms while laughing loudly. Exhilaration overpowered every other emotion now, and the adrenaline was still coursing through you. You jumped around together in a small circle, happy that you had dared to take this plunge.

“Can we go again?” Natasha asked the men as they began folding the parachute, a pick-up visible in the distance— their ride back to the airport.

“Quite the kicker, isn’t it,” one of them replied with a chuckle, and you could only agree with him, wholeheartedly.

Though you still vowed to never do it again. This was one of those things that you only wanted to experience once. You were glad that you had done it, but that was it. There was no need to repeat it. Natasha on the other hand seemed fully prepared to do it several times over. She always had been the more daring of you two. The most daring of the entire group really. Balls of steel, that woman.

***

When you’d gotten yourself out of the jumper you’d been made to wear, Natasha took you to lunch at a quaint little diner about fifteen minutes away from the airport. There, you both spoke excitedly about the whole experience and the first item of your bucket list that you could check off.

You were just swallowing your last bite when your phone began to buzz. Slightly surprised that the world was still out there, you picked it from your pocket and glanced at the screen. An unknown number. Confused, you answered, and you nearly dropped your fork upon hearing who it was and why.

An apologetic Steve was begging for both your discretion and your time. Not a regular request, but he sounded rather urgent, and you were willing to help him in any way you could. So you asked for an explanation, while Natasha quickly went to the register to pay for your food. Steve was quick to explain that the four of them had gotten into some trouble and were currently being detained at the police station a mere ten minutes from your place. You groaned, not even bothering to ask what had brought them there. Instead you told him you were quite some ways away from home, but that you were on it. Arrangements would be made to get them out as quickly as possible.

Natasha came back from the counter and quickly collected her things, a smile tugging at her lips as she sighed.

“They got in trouble, didn’t they?” She said with a scoff, and you could only shrug. This wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, you imagined. Especially not now that they were complete again. Those men were trouble personified when they got together.

“I just wonder why they called me,” you wondered out loud as you made your way to the car.

“Steve called?” You nodded and she chuckled.

“Well he wouldn’t call Sharon—he’s still easing her into our group of degenerates. Sam would’ve been adamant not to call Maria, because she’d chew his head off. And I’d just laugh at them. It was either you or Wanda. And Wanda’s working today.”

“I feel so special now,” you laughed and searched your purse for your phone, only to realise it was already in your lap. Natasha started the car and checked the mirrors before exiting the parking spot. You had offered to drive but Natasha had just smirked, saying that they had called you, so it was now your job to inform Maria. You’d groaned loudly, not looking forward to that conversation at all. Even though it was a call she was probably already expecting. After all, she would have noticed that her man hadn’t come home that night. And she would have put two and two together.

These boys’ nights were infamous amongst your group—and to anyone that knew you long enough. There was no way to predict what they would get up to, but it was often trouble. Naturally, the so-called innocent Steve was often the instigator. He was reckless, strong-willed and he never backed down. That stubbornness had gotten him into trouble so many times as a kid, but it had never changed. Bucky had taken to jumping in, trying to salvage whatever he could, which rarely worked. Clint, on the other hand, knew just how to egg everyone on—he liked a little chaos every now and again. After Sam had joined your little group, there’d been a short moment in time where you hoped he would have been more sensible. He wasn’t. He was just as bad as the rest of them and he loved every second of it.

It often resulted in four severely hungover men with crazy stories, like the time they were attacked by a swan because they had thought the animal needed help building her nest. The bruises had been real. As had your laughter. You had tried to explain that good intentions didn’t mean much if the execution was bad, but it had done nothing to enlighten them—though they had checked the next morning to see if the animal was alright.

You had loved teasing them those mornings, speaking a little too loudly or laughing a little too much as they battled the effects of the alcohol. You never quite enjoyed mornings as much as you did during those moments. It was like they all turned into idiots that couldn’t recognise their limits at all when they got together like that.

You remembered the first time something had occurred; it had been near the end of high school and had ended with Bucky serenading you underneath your bedroom window. Steve and Clint had been hiding in the bushes, but by the time they’d woken the whole neighbourhood up, those two had skedaddled—hanging Bucky out to dry. Your father had been so angry, but you hadn't been able to stop laughing. It had taken some time after that for Bucky to win your father over again.  

And you would never forget the Halloween that they teepeed the house of some bully—which they had gotten away with, since they’d managed to hide in Natasha’s shed afterwards. Her parents had known, though they played dumb. Everyone knew of the reputation of the bully, and that his parents would just sweep it all under the rug if anyone ever caught him.

Their—perhaps misguided—crusade for justice had only increased once Sam joined their nights. They had spent many a night creating places to sleep for the homeless, not caring that they were vandalising government property. You imagined just how glad the local politicians must have been when the men joined the army. Of course nobody could have predicted that they would only come home with one more trouble maker amongst them. And now on their first night out with the four of them in years, things had obviously gotten out of hand.

And now it was up to you to inform Maria of this. Not because you were telling on Sam— you were certain that Maria already knew what happened, but she knew the law better than any one of you. She was a paralegal and would be able to get them out of trouble most of the time. Which was also why she would be angry with Sam. She’d tell him that he should’ve known better. Which he did, until those other boneheads joined in.

***

By the time you reached the precinct nearly two hours had passed, and you were well-informed of the stupid antics that they’d gotten up to the night before. Though you couldn’t even be really mad at them.

In a drunken stupor, they had gotten into a fight with another group. Bullies, according to Maria. Which would normally not get them arrested, except they were trained combatants and therefore outmatched the other group easily. They were held to a higher standard. They had also been rowdy, the police informed you. To calm matters down, they’d arrested the lot of them. Nobody had been severely injured—just some minor abrasions, bruised eyes, and bruised egos—leaving the boys with a mere misdemeanour charge. Your hope was that Maria could get those dropped if she explained the situation.

Which she then proceeded to do, though only because the officer in charge had gotten the full scoop on the story and he had never intended to give them much trouble. Naturally, not one of you had any intention of letting these men know. They better show some gratitude to their saving angel, Maria.

“Hello there, boys!” You exclaimed as you walked up to the bars that caged them in. It was late in the afternoon, but with their sleepless night, you were certain that their hangover would be particularly bad this time. It was all the incentive you needed to be as chipper as you could possibly be.

“Shush,” Clint said. “No need to scream.”

You smirked as you looked at him, tilting your head to the side and winking. He groaned and slumped on the hard bench he was sitting on. Sam and Bucky had already covered their ears as soon as you opened your mouth, keeping a careful eye on you—scared that you’d start speaking again as soon as they uncovered them. This was not unthinkable.

Only Steve seemed genuinely happy to see you, unfazed by your loud voice. He always did recover easiest from a night of drinking. Which was unfair, since he was usually the one to persuade others to match him beer for beer. Only Maria ever managed.

“Drunk and disorderly, huh?” You asked, perhaps still a little too loud, and Clint muttered some angry words under his breath. You chuckled, before turning back to Steve.

“We really weren’t that bad, I promise,” Steve offered and you laughed, one of those full-out belly laughs, loud and boisterous, because you knew them. Even if you had not been aware of exactly what they had done, you would never expect them to be angels. They were more like warriors. For justice, as they liked to claim. They simply lacked the finesse that would keep them from being arrested. You cocked an eyebrow and shot him a pointed look, which was enough to make Steve groan. He knew the jig was up; they were busted.

“Did you bail us out?” Sam asked after a short moment, hopeful eyes looking your way.

“Oh hell no, I don’t have that kind of cash,” you chuckled, not bothering to inform them that no bail had been set. They had not been arraigned. His hangover must have been worse than you thought.

“Did you just come to gloat?” Clint groaned as he stood up and walked towards you. You smirked again and winked.

“Gloating is part of it, yes, but I also arranged for Maria to come, and she’s currently trying to get the charges dropped,” you finally told them, taking mercy on them.

“You called Maria?” Sam seemed genuinely worried, and you laughed. He made it seem like she would smack him around for this. She’d be angry, naturally, chew him out, but he’d apologise and things would work out just fine in a day or two. Clint sat down beside him and patted him on the back.

“Yep,” you said, popping the P, “Sorry, buddy, but you knew you couldn’t hide this from her.”

Sam just nodded. You were right. Of course. Besides, you would have never been able to get much done for them, whereas Maria was a force to be reckoned with in situations like this.

“Wait, you don’t gloat. That’s not your style,” Clint said, sitting up. “How did the surprise go over?” A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, and you knew there was no hiding your own misfortune.

“Well, let’s just put it like this; I’m glad I did it, but if I ever get any ideas again—just shoot me.”

Clint barked out a laugh, earning him a punch from both Sam and Bucky, before Sam realised that he had no idea why the man laughed. Sam wasn’t the kind of person that was often left out of a joke—he needed to know the gist of it.

“Wait what did you do?” He stood from the bench and joined Steve by the bars, cocking his head to the side as he took you in. It surprised you just how quickly he had forgotten about his hangover.

“Nat took her for a parachute jump,” Clint said, and laughter erupted from the others, to which you just shook your head because you couldn’t even blame them. They all remembered the puking after the rollercoaster from hell. Ever since, you had not been in search of adrenaline quite as much.

“And this was your idea?” Bucky asked incredulously, finally opening his mouth.

“Unfortunately.” You shrugged and cocked your head to one side again, making no effort to suppress the smile that broke out on your face. Bucky just shook his head with another chuckle.

***

Chapter twenty

[berjhawn]

Angel On Fire - Ch. 6 - An Honorary Elf

Warnings: Heartbreaks ; angst ; fluff ; 

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Reader ; Thorin Oakenshield X Reader ; Bucky X Reader X Thorin ; Marvel X Reader X Hobbit

Summary:  Heartbroken and Lost the reader finds herself stranded in a strange but familiar land filled with creatures of fantasy. joining the company of Thorin Oakenshield, (Name) travels across Middle Earth in search of a way to make it back to her home and the people that love her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Staring out over the balcony I find myself suddenly starting to think about Thorin and our conversation the day before. We had some things in common and that alone made him easier to understand. There was also the way my mind and body kept reacting to him. It was confusing and yet a bit exciting. As I stare at the water cascading down over the rocks, I feel someone walk up behind me and I turn to see Elrond watching me intently as he walks up to lean against the rail alongside me.

“I see you chose to remain in your own clothing.” He says and I nod as I smooth down my t-shirt.

“Yeah, no offense to you or your kind; but your dresses didn’t really fit me.”

“None taken; besides I have a feeling you are more comfortable in this.”

“You’d be right.” I reply a smile covering my lips.

“You’re not with the rest of your company?” He asks and I shake my head.

“I needed some time to think. My mind’s been a little weird lately.” I reply looking back out to the waterfall.

“About?” He asks and I shake my head.

“I have no idea really. There are so many things running through my head.” I pause my eyes meeting his for a moment before he ushers me to continue. “I mean I should be missing my home and everything there; but this place,” I pause taking in the scenery, “No, so far this whole world feels more like my home than where I came from.”

“That does not surprise me.” He replies making me meet his gaze. “There is something about you and how you came to be here that makes me think you are not too far off in your belief. Something or someone brought you here, whether they were good or not is the mystery.”

“I just wish I knew why I was here. Like, I feel like I shouldn’t veer too far from the company but… I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You may not know for some time what your reason for being here is,” He pauses turning towards me his hands reaching up to rest on my shoulders, “But if for any reason you may change your mind about staying with them, you will always have a place with the elves. Whether it be here in Rivendell, the great kingdom of Lothlorien, or even with the woodland elves of the Greenwood; you will always be welcome.”

“You know little to nothing about me, yet you and your kin would welcome me so warmly? Why?” I ask brows knitted together in confusion.

“I believe you may find that we are more alike than you know,” He states making me cock an eyebrow at him in surprise. “That and I find you most interesting. If you should need my help do not hesitate to ask. Also, there is someone who would like to meet you later. If you wouldn’t mind meeting them, I would greatly appreciate it.” Then giving my arms a quick pat, he disappears down the hall leaving me there to stare after him with a whole new load of confusion on my mind.

“This place is just one confusion after another.” I say running my hands through my hair. Turning back to the waterfall I let out an annoyed groan and brace myself up against the railing. I knew he meant well but I couldn’t help being skeptical of him. That’s how I was wired. Taking a deep breath, I compose myself and turning around head back to where the dwarves were camped out.

Upon reaching where they were being housed, I let out a chuckle as they were all laughing and convening around a fire. Shaking my head, I go to walk over to them when I spot Thorin sitting off by himself overlooking the city of Rivendell. I decide to go over and chat with him. Walking over to him, I clear my throat to let him know I was there. He turns towards me and a smirk covers his lips as he says, “Hello (Name),”

“Hey, mind some company?” I ask and he motions to the spot next of him.

“Be my guest, I was just lost in thought.” He replies folding his arms over his chest.

“About?” I inquire rubbing my arms unconsciously.

“I may not have told you everything about how we were driven from our homes?”

“Oh?”

“When my grandfather was presented with the Arkenstone, he became mad with a sickness for gold. It consumed him, my father succumbed to the same sickness and now I fear…” He pauses his eyes looking down at his hands.

“You worry you will do the same when reunited with the mountain.” I finish for him as he nods. “I don’t know much about dragon sickness, but I have faith that since you have seen this sickness effect your own family, you know what to be on the watch for. You will be stronger than your father and grandfather and you will not succumb to the sickness.” I pause, my hand reaching out to take his as I gently give is squeeze. “You will be a wonderful king.”

Thorin remains quiet but his gaze is fixed on mine. My breath catches at the fire in his deep blue eyes and I suddenly become very self-conscious as I slip my hand from his, a slight flush filling my cheeks. Looking from him I feel my heart start to race in my chest and I silently curse it as I hope he cannot hear its thunderous beating.

“Do you mean it?” He asks as he turns slightly to face me. “About me being a great king?”

“I do.” I reply my eyes focused on the scenery in front of me. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t.”

“Thank you, (Name).” He says his voice soft and velvety.

“No problem.” I reply a lump forming in my throat making me clear my it.

“I know we haven’t really talked about it, but what are you planning to do now?” He asks and I tilt my head in confusion as my eyes meet his.

“Well I figured I’d still travel with you guys. I mean it’s beautiful here and I was already told I could stay but…”

“But what?” he asks turning just enough that he is now facing me completely.

“I don’t know, I just feel like there is something telling me to go with you.” I answer making a burning emotion fill his eyes causing me to stammer as I add, “You all,” I cough a few times. “I meant with you all.”

“Well,” He pauses his hand reaching out to gently take my own. “We all would be glad to have you with us.”

I am about to thank him when the sound of someone clearing their throat catches my attention making me jump back away from Thorin as I pull my hand from his own. I turn toward the person to see Gandalf standing there eyeing the two of us suspiciously.

“May I borrow our young friend for a moment Thorin?” Gandalf asks and Thorin nods.

“Of course,”

“Come along (Name), Elrond wishes to speak with you.” Gandalf announces making me nod in agreement. I give Thorin a polite smile as I head off down the walkway with the wizard. When it is just the two of us, he turns to me and says, “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything.”

“Of course, you weren’t, we were just talking about stuff and things.”

“I see.” He chuckles clearly not buying my words. “Cause from where I was standing, I would call that flirting.”

“Uh… I… I wouldn’t call it that.” I stammer as I trip over my own feet in surprise at his words.

“Oh really, then what would you call it?” He asks cocking an eyebrow at me.

“I don’t know, I was just being supportive. He asked me a question and I gave him my honest answer. If that was somehow flirting than; yes, I guess I was flirting.” I retort anger filling my body causing me to pause and stare into his eyes. “And even if I had been flirting, that’s between me and him. Why do you care?”

“I’m just worried about how it will affect you both when this is over, and you return home.” Gandalf clarifies making the anger vanish from my body as it is replaced with regret. “I don’t mean to be mean; I just worry for you both.”

“I understand.” I reply stopping him from continuing. “You’re right. I can’t give him hope where there isn’t any.”

I can tell there is more Gandalf wishes to say but instead he keeps his mouth shut and leads me to a gazebo like balcony where Elrond was waiting for us. As we near him he pulls Gandalf ahead of me as he starts talking about the journey for the mountain.

“I’m not the one you have to answer too.” Elrond says and then motions to a figure standing with their back to us making me look around him to see a woman with long flowing golden hair standing in the moonlight. As she turns around my breath catches at her beauty.

“Lady Galadriel.” Gandalf says but I cannot pull my eyes from hers.

“Mithrandir. It has been a long time.” She replies and I swear it’s like an angel singing.

“Nae nin gwistant infanneth, mal ú-eichia i Chíril Lorien.” (Age may have changed me, but not so the Lady of Lorien.) Gandalf replies causing her to smile making me practically week in the knees. “I had no idea Lord Elrond had sent for you.”

“He didn’t. I did.” I hear another voice say and I turn to see what I guessed was another wizard but something about this one rubbed me the wrong way.

“Saruman.” Gandalf says giving the white wizard a slight bow.

“You’ve been busy of late, my friend.” Saruman replies looking at me. “What is she exactly?”

“Don’t worry (Name), come.” Elrond says motioning me toward the center of the gazebo by a small set of chairs and table.

“This, is (Name), she hails from another world.” Gandalf says causing them all to look at me. Fear fills my body causing me to reach up and unconsciously start rubbing at my arms.

“You came here by a very dark means.” Galadriel says pulling my attention toward her.

“I don’t understand.” I reply making her offer me a soft smile.

“Even you yourself do not know how you came to be here. This dark force I see in your mind, I fear we may not have the answers you seek.” Galadriel replies making me bite my lip.

“I also sense another power hidden inside you,” Saruman says causing me to look from Galadriel to him. “Why not show us?”

“If you are willing.” Gandalf adds trying to calm my nerves.

“Please don’t freak out.” I say as I reluctantly hold my hand out and taking a deep breath look over at a nearby lantern.

As if the fire heard my command it flows like water from the lantern to my hand wrapping around it like a snake. I glance at Gandalf who offers me a wink before I send the fire back to the lantern. Next, I kneel down smiling softly, I think a happy thought as I create hundreds of wildflowers all around us. Then I call upon air making it whip around me wildly pulling the flowers from their stems as they dance upon the breeze. Smiling I send them out into the water down below. Finally, I walk over to the balcony and closing my eyes I reach out both hands and calling the water from the river below I feel it rise towards me. My heart lifts as I feel the water take the shape of a dragon.

I open my eyes and see it staring at me and my breath catches. Then with a flick of my wrist I send It diving back into the river. I would have called lightning like my brother could, but I felt like that would have been too much for a first showing. I feel my body suddenly become sluggish and I shake the sleep away as I turn back to see them all staring at me.

“Was that too much?” I ask concern suddenly filling my body.

“That was beautiful.” Galadriel says and I swear I could cry. Back in my world no one would have reacted like she did. “I believe there is more, but you were wise not to show them right now.”

“I felt like calling down a bolt of lightning would probably scare a lot of people.”

“You would be correct.” Elrond adds making me smirk.  

“Where did you come to possess such gifts?” Saruman asks narrowing his eyes in scrutiny.

“I was born with them, but they didn’t show themselves to me until I was about twelve years old. That’s how it is for a lot of mutants though.”

“Mutants?” Gandalf asks suddenly becoming offended for my sake. “Why would they name you that?”

“Because we are different. In my world a mutant is a human being that possesses a genetic trait called the X-gene. It causes the mutant to develop superhuman powers that manifest at puberty. Human mutants are sometimes referred to as a human subspecies, Homo sapiens superior, or simply Homo superior. Mutants are the evolutionary progeny of Homo sapiens and are generally assumed to be the next stage in human evolution.”

“Were your parents the same?” Saruman asks and my heart clenches.

“I don’t know. My parents died when I was a child. I don’t remember much about them.”

“You poor child,” Galadriel says reaching out to pull me into her arms. I stand frozen for a moment as she gives me soft hug. “You have seen so much hardship.” She adds and I cannot help the tears that form in my eyes as I slowly reach my arms around to hold her back. As I bury my face into her upper chest, I suddenly feel my worry and sadness start to melt away.

“How do you suggest we send her back?” Saruman interrupts and it takes everything I have not to glare at him.

“There is no way to send her back. At least no way we possess.” Galadriel answers giving me one last squeeze before she says into my head. ‘Your company needs you. You should be with them.’

“(Name), you look rather tired from your earlier display. How about you retire for now?” Gandalf suggests making me nod.

“Okay, goodnight everyone.” I announce then giving her one last look head back toward where Thorin and his kin were. When I reach them, I cock an eyebrow at the sight I saw. “What are you doing?” I ask making them all turn toward me halting their packing.

“Good, you’re back. We’re leaving.” Thorin replies not looking at me.

“Leaving? Why?” I ask nearing him.

“I will not wait for permission from a council of elves to go after my homeland. We leave now before they try to stop us. Will you come with us?” He asks his eyes meeting mine.

“Of course, I can’t just let you leave me behind.” I reply making him smirk.

Will Continue

[wilsonsnest]

Title: a sense of properity Word Count: 1,915 Square Filled: Royalty AU Warnings: None Rating: PG Summary: Captain Steve Rogers had been so enamored with Captain Samuel Wilson he hadn’t even considered why the Prince never showed his face.

Steve stared at Captain - no Prince Wilson, the man he had started becoming besotted with during their journey. He was exhausted, his hands still trembling with the adrenaline of having just taken out the assassins who had been out for the Prince’s life, but he couldn’t sit down. He wasn’t even sure what to think in this moment.

Just a week ago he had traveled up to the Kingdom of Har-Lem to provide escort for the Prince to attend a treaty resigning at the behest of Prince Stark. There had been a rash of robberies and even killings on the main roads. Common folk, nobles and even knights were not off limits to the rogues. When there had been rumors of an attempt on the middle Wilson child’s life, Steve and his company had been sent just in case.

He hadn’t expected to make such a good friend in Captain Samuel Wilson. A young, handsome man who held an air of nobility that Steve had just thought was part of his gracious nature. The rest of men in Sam’s troupe respected him, but there was a warmth between them that told of just how much he loved them and they loved him. Because they were both Captains, Steve naturally fell in line with him during most of the journey. Discussing the rumors, training and the particularities of being Captain. Steve had grown fond of Sam, perhaps too fond for such a short journey, but Sam was simply magnetic. He could now see that he was so preoccupied with getting to know Sam that he hadn’t even bothered to question why the Prince was never seen outside of his carriage.

Steve felt foolish, and a little heartbroken. He had hoped that once they reached Midtown and the Prince was safely behind castle walls he and Sam would have more time to get to know each other personally. Alone. Now, he saw that it was an impossibility.

Steve nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his arm and he turned to look at his Lieutenant, Natasha. The woman looked a little ruffled. Her tabbard was slightly askew and her normally well-groomed hair was sticking up from where she had taken off her helmet. There was sympathy in her eyes, perceptive to Steve’s plight. She had been more than a little amused every time he came back late to their tent after spending long hours speaking with Sam before bed.

“Come on, Captain.” Natasha said kindly. “Let’s get cleaned up. I think we’re staying the night and we’ll head out in the morning.”

Steve nodded and followed her back to their encampment, shifting his focus to making sure his men were alright.

x x x x

Steve was surprised that night when he saw a shadow lingering outside of his tent. It was yet early, but Natasha had put together their watch and insisted that Steve get some rest. He knew that if it were his Lieutenant she would not have hesitated to come in of her own accord, which meant it was someone else.

In just a loose shirt and pants he ducked out of his tent, surprised to come face to face with Sam - the Prince. It took Steve a moment before he regained his composure and bowed low, unsure of how to act now in his presence. When he looked up, he realized he couldn’t read Sam’s expression in the glowing up the firelight nearby. But if he could tell anything by his body language he would say the the Prince seemed nervous.

“You don’t have to do that.” Sam spoke up suddenly, a sigh laden in his voice. “I’m not even your prince.”

Something about that statement stung and Steve looked down at the Prince’s boots, unwillingly to even try and meet his eye. He had never felt this sense of propriety around Prince Stark, and felt quite comfortable in most noble and royal presence. But this was different. This was a man whom he had spent the week with, who he had decided the night before he wanted to court.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hide this from you.” Sam sounded sincere and a little desperate. “It seemed like it would be a fool-proof plan. The assassins wouldn’t have known the difference if I just blended in with the rest of the guard.”

Steve nodded, the assassins hadn’t known what Sam looked like. They had just gone straight for the carriage, and their folly made it easy for them to be apprehended. Neither Steve nor his troupe had even known Sam was the Prince until his Lieutenant, Riley, had called out for people to get to Sam. Afterwards there was was a whirlwind of activity as people attempted to make sure that the Prince was unharmed.

“You could have been killed.” Steve said quite suddenly, looking up. He remembered looking over, Sam astride his chestnut colored mare, two enemies on either side. “Who is your Captain that he would even allow such a rouse?”

Sam snorted, and folded his arms across his chest. “Trust me, it took quite the time to convince Riley to play along. But he trusted me enough to agree to it.”

Steve nodded, thinking of the blonde man who was a near constant at Sam’s side. He was generally laid back, and kind and Steve had thought he made a good counterbalance to Sam’s seriousness. Now he realized how that relationship had worked to their advantage in creating this plan. It stung a little to know he had been duped, but he was also impressed.

“Steve,” Sam then looked a little unsure. “Captain Rogers, I-- I greatly apologize for keeping this from you. I had wanted to tell you, but...”

Steve tilted his head a little, fascinated by how shy the other man suddenly seemed.

“I had come to greatly enjoy your company. I enjoyed our time riding side by side, speaking of our friends and family. Our nights together by the firelight were some of the best times I’ve ever had. You treated me like just another knight, an equal. It was selfish, I know this, but...” Sam couldn’t meet Steve’s eyes. “I could pretend for just one moment that I was just like everyone else.”

“Your highness--”

Sam sighed, a sad sound that gave Steve pause. His instinct told to him to reach out, take the other man’s hand in his for comfort. Any other night before now he would have done it. But now it would be completely inappropriate for him to be so familiar.

“Right. I won’t take up more of your time.” Sam said, casting his gaze toward the fire. “I just wanted to apologize. And thank you for your service, Captain.”

Before Steve could say anything else, the Prince turned and hurried back to his side of camp, leaving Steve feeling cold and confused.

x x x x

“Commander Rhodes and Prince Wilson look awfully comfortable.”

Steve looked up to see his oldest friend, coming toward him holding a goblet of fine in one hand. Bucky looked good in black and silver colors of the Wakandan security forces. He was still styled in a tabbard, but the wolf crest signifying his noble birth house was now intertwined with two Amaryllis plants of his adopted home.

“I’m sure they have important things to speak of.” Steve murmured, as he cast a glance across the busy room to see the Commander and Prince leaning into each other’s space as they had been for quite some time. Not that Steve had been watching. “Commander Rhodes will want to know of the situation we encountered out on the road.”

“Ah, no doubt telling of your heroics.” Bucky laughed a little, probably already a little loose from the wine. “They’d make a fine coupling though.”

Steve felt the back of his neck burning beneath his collar. He had no right to be upset about that, because it wasn’t as if it weren’t true. Commander Rhodes was Prince Stark’s closest confidant, a brilliant strategist and a good man. The fact that he had yet to be married did not go unremarked upon. A middle Prince of the neighboring kingdom could be a good show of friendship between the two kingdoms.

“Steve, we all know Rhodes is far too devoted to Prince Stark to put another before him.” Bucky said levelly, eyeing him over his goblet. “You ought to go over and ask for his time. Take him out to the gardens.”

Steve shook his head vehemently. “It wouldn’t be proper.”

“Steve. You’re the Captain of the Guard. And you know as well as I that Prince Stark would promote you to Commander if you had any desire for it.” Bucky said. “You have land, land that you earned and if what you told me about him is true he would be more impressed by that than if it were just your birthright.”

He put a hand on his friend’s arm, warm and solid. Steve looked up at him, trying not to let the hope shine in his eyes as  Bucky continued.

“Take it from me.” His eyes slid over to where Prince T’Challa and two of his personal guards were standing watch. “People appreciate it when you're honest. You say his men adore him, and respect him. That he fought off the bandits just as you did. He isn’t some wilting flower, Steve, allow him the dignity of choice.”

Steve swallowed thickly just as he watched Rhodes and the Prince lean in and laugh together over something. It burned in his gut to think that he might be missing an opportunity because he didn’t think he was worthy of the Prince’s time. He wasn’t just a knight, he was a Captain and landed gentry at that. He had worked hard to get to his station in life and he would work harder to make the Prince as happy as he could. He had to at least be brave enough to try.

“Sir Barnes.” Steve said with a sharp nod toward Bucky, causing his friend to nearly drop his drink before he laughed, unable to control himself.

He found himself making his way across the room, ignoring an eyes tracking his movements before stopping before the Commander and the Prince. Rhodes looked over at him and looked vaguely amused, eyes flickering over toward Sam. Sam though was looking back at Steve, eyes just slightly widened but otherwise the picture of perfect royal neutrality.

“Commander Rhodes, if you could spare me some of Prince Samuel’s time.” Steve chose his words carefully so that they could not be mistaken for anything but a man asking for a moment with a potential partner. It already prickled at his nerves that he wasn’t asking Sam directly, but he wanted to do things right.

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Rhodes nodded to Steve before bowing low to the Prince and walking off.

“You could have asked me.” Sam said, raising an eyebrow delicately. The question layered under his statement.

Steve only smiled gently. “Not with him here.”  He offered his arm, well aware that there were probably those watching their every move. “Prince Samuel Wilson, would you join me for a tour of the gardens?”

Sam studied him, his eyes narrowing just slightly as if he were searching for something  in Steve’s face. Finally he nodded and took the offered arm, leaning into Steve’s warmth. “Lead the way, Captain.”

[bbypeterprkr]

Got it Bad (Part 1)

Summary: After weeks of not seeing each other, you and your best friend, Bucky, are finally reunited. (i suck at summaries I am so sorry lolol)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: approx. 1,000

Warnings: bad writing, angst (?)

A/N: this is the first thing I’ve written in like 2 years. constructive criticism and feedback are greatly appreciated. let me know if you guys want a part 2 or if you’d like to be added to my tag list!!

You were sitting quietly in the corner of your favorite coffee shop, reading your favorite book. You had finally had time to yourself after having two full weeks of missions. You’d been going to this cafe since you were a little girl. It’s familiarity gave you a sense of comfort. You and your closest friend, Bucky, had agreed to meet here at 5:00pm sharp. It was 6:15.

Just as you were about to take out your phone and shoot him a text, you heard the bell  hanging over the door ring signalling that someone had entered the shop. You glanced up and the person you had been waiting for finally arrived.

“You’re late.” You said, standing up to greet your friend. You crossed your arms over your chest and shifted your weight to one foot. Bucky  saw past your angry façade and stepped forward to give you a tight hug. This is the first time you had seen him in a while since he was sent to London on a separate mission.

“How’ve you been, doll? It’s been almost a month since we’ve talked face to face.” He sat down looking through the menu placed in front of him. You took this time to admire his features. You had always thought Bucky was incredibly handsome. The moment Steve introduced you to him, you were mesmerized by his steel blue eyes and his perfect, dark hair. You never voiced your opinion, though. It would be a bit inappropriate seeing as you worked together and you didn’t want to jeopardize your friendship. You didn’t realize you were staring until Bucky spoke up again.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” He said with concern written all over his face. You quickly shook out of your daze before replying. “Yeah, I was just… thinking.”

“About what?” He put the menu down and gave you his full attention. You were caught off guard by his question and had to make up an answer on the fly.

“I was thinking about how much I missed my best friend.” You said giving him a cheesy smile. He just chuckled and shook his head. “I missed you too, doll. I was thinking, since we haven’t hung out in a while, why don’t we we visit the carnival, tomorrow? It’s in town for one more week and it’ll give us some time to catch up.” He asked with a hopeful look on his face.

You gave him a look of approval. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Barnes.” He just smiled excitedly at you.

While Bucky was ordering his beverage, you decided to go to the restroom to freshen up. While you were washing your hands, one idea kept replaying in your mind. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to pursue a relationship with Bucky. You both already knew so much about each other so you wouldn’t have to go through that awkward “getting to know you”  phase. You got along great. You were two peas in a pod. All you had to do was see if Bucky possessed any romantic feelings toward you and everything would fall into place.

You quickly dried your hands and exited the restroom. You were about to go back to your booth, when you saw the shop manager, Margot, sitting in your spot. You and Margot were good friends seeing as you were a frequent customer. She was a nice girl. She and Bucky were laughing and seemed to be having a good time. You didn’t want to interrupt so you quietly walked over to the table to grab your coffee so you could wait for Bucky. Unfortunately, you were unable to slip away unnoticed.

“Oh, Y/N! How are you? I didn’t even see you come in.” Margot smiled at you with her perfectly straight teeth. She was one of the prettiest girls you had ever seen in your life. She was also one of the kindest. When she wasn’t busy running the coffee shop, she was busy donating to local homeless shelters or reading to underprivileged kids.

“Hello, Margot. It’s great to see you, but I’ve got to get going. Buck, I’ll be waiting outside. Have a good night, Margot”

Bucky didn’t acknowledge you but you knew he heard you. You stood right beside the welcome sign by the door. You played multiple games on your phone to try to help pass the time. You even resorted to digging through your purse to throw out all of your old receipts. By the time Bucky finally exited the shop, your bag was about a half pound lighter.

“Took you long enough.” You said jokingly to your friend. He let out a light laugh. “I’m sorry, Y/N. We were in the middle of a hilarious story about her little brother getting a fishbowl stuck on his head. I didn’t realize the time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Apology accepted. Let’s just head back to the tower.”

You were in your sleeping quarters getting ready. Tonight was the night that you and Bucky agreed to go to the carnival. Your hair was styled to your liking and your makeup was perfect. You wore a stylish pair of distressed boyfriend jeans with a cute halter top and comfortable shoes. You looked as if you tried, but not too hard. Once you were satisfied with your look, you made your way down the hall to Bucky’s room. You gently knocked on his door and waited for permission to enter. A couple seconds later. The door flew open to reveal Bucky. He wore a neatly pressed suit jacket, shirt, and black dress pants. To top it off, he donned Italian leather loafers. Confusion was written all over your face.

“Um, Buck… don’t you think you’re just a tad bit overdressed for the carnival?” Just as the sentence left my lips, his eyes widened in shock.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N. I am so sorry. I completely forgot that we were supposed to go to the carnival tonight. Margot called and invited me to the theatre tonight.”

Ouch, that stung. You thought to yourself. You felt your heart break just a little bit. You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Two hours of getting ready were wasted and now you had nowhere to go.

“No. It’s okay, Buck. Go out and have fun. I’ll be fine.” You said, trying to avoid eye contact in fear that your eyes would reveal your true emotions. He placed his hands on your shoulders. “Are you sure? I could always try to get you a ticket to the show.”

“I’d rather not be the third wheel. I promise I’ll be okay. Enjoy your night.” You said, offering a small smile. He gave you a quick hug before walking towards the exit. “You’re the best Y/N. I’ll make this up to you, I swear. Bye doll.” And then the door shut behind him.

It was that exact moment that you realized something. Bucky Barnes was actually going on a date. With a girl that wasn’t you. You weren’t completely sure how that made you feel. But, you did know one thing.

You had officially been  placed in the friendzone.

[epiitaphs]

it’s touch time baby! and by that i mean bucky’s incredibly complicated sense of touch. i will try not to attach lit theory to it. we shall see. good news! it’s present me and i did not attach lit theory to it. under a cut because it is....so long

When it comes to Bucky and human contact it’s complicated. Because it can’t be as simple as ‘anyone who touched me hurt me’ - they brainwashed him into total dependence on their ministrations, which means they had to be everything for him. You have to have a sense of what is good or bad - is there a neutral kind of contact? With him I’m not sure. Everything means something. And before I continue, I should note that qualifying anything as good or bad isn't the right scale to use not because it's too simplistic (in fact oversimplification is part of his life but that’s for another day) but because it would be too unfamiliar to use in good faith when talking about him so actually the scale should be punishment to reward when it comes to how he views this sort of thing. 

A good way to think about his relationship with human contact is the milk scene in CATWS where Pierce pours the Soldier a frankly strange amount of milk and then never gives any indication of what the Soldier is supposed to do with it. (It doesn’t matter what the intention behind this scene is by the way - the author is firmly dead). This offer of milk is a taunt in some ways, because Pierce is saying ‘you could be human because I’m giving you something the way I would to an actual person sat across from me’ (we can talk about assigning the Soldier a child role in this scene at a later moment) but even while the Soldier is being offered a drink it’s a very clear indication of where the human/Asset line is drawn because he isn’t given an order to drink, and also importantly, he does not take the glass of his own initiative, no matter how sad he may look at the time. 

So with that, we can talk about Bucky initiating contact. What we would consider positive physical contact - hugs, comfortable closeness, etc - is not something he is able to initiate. It’s been trained out of it. He can only ask for necessities, and that is not on the list. This has to be relearned. 

He can obviously initiate negative physical contact. That’s what he’s meant for. But even that has limits. He is allowed to harm targets and whoever he needs to in order to complete his mission. But outside of that? They can’t have him lashing out at scientists or trainers or handlers, so this sort of thing would have to be severely punished. It’s something of a fine line to walk - you have to train out a violent reaction to unwanted touch in some situations but not in others. And they never truly succeeded, given that he killed people working with him the entire time he was with HYDRA. But in their attempts to train him, how would they go about it? You assign authority to everyone around him. There is one directive to be given: do not harm those with authority over you unless commanded by someone who outranks them. Problem solved. This is why, even when he’s regained memories and personhood, it’s very dangerous if he determines that someone has authority over him or if someone works to get that determination from him. 

We’ve established these two ways that Bucky can/cannot initiate contact of his own, so what about reception of this contact? This is where the punishment-reward dichotomy comes in. 

Punishment is whatever you can imagine. The lack of peaceful contact, active torture, all sorts of pain. There is always a reason given for punishment, but pain is also a fact of the Soldier’s life, and this distinction is important to retain even while pushing his limits for testing or when he makes a mistake. (He’s human after all, even if everyone pretends like he’s not.) He’s also trained not to flinch. This will be important later. 

For a reward - he was clearly treated as not human while everyone around him was pretty aware that he was actually human. And therefore as a human, there is something about skin contact with other humans that is very important. There’s power there, obviously, especially when you’re depriving someone of it. So you give those who are to be trusted a set of rules. Rest a hand on his shoulder as you tell him he’s going out to do good work. He may not understand what good work is, but he’ll associate it with contact, and if you are ever punishing him, you cannot touch him so he knows that it can be taken away. He’s not supposed to want, but it’s a subconscious one that is beneficial to the program. They don’t need to burn it out completely. And obviously if there is a touch to be avoided, there must be a touch on the opposite side of things. 

So what does this mean for post captivity?

It means that at some point he realizes that actually, he can make the rules around here. It doesn’t come easily, of course, and probably not all at once. 

First, if someone grabs him - anyone - he is allowed to kill or maim them. In fact he should, since he does not want to go back. If their intention is or seems violent, they are in for a bad time. Sometimes it’s panic, but a lot of times it’s with a (relatively) fully functioning mind that he reacts. Bucky can recognize contact that he associates actively with being punishment and now can respond to that. 

Anything else is a much grayer zone. He has to relearn how to express discomfort verbally or even physically. He can’t flinch, and he’s probably never going to actively try to bring that back. But what he can learn to do is walk away, or at the very least lean away. Because his current response to something that doesn’t say punishment to him is to just stay there and be uncomfortable. This is difficult, obviously as there are people who legitimately have nothing but good intentions towards him but still can cause discomfort because they do something that he doesn’t actively want or expect. There’s no way to get through that except to give it time and to check in with him. Asking him involves a choice he has to make, but ultimately sometimes that particular discomfort is better than feeling like he’s going to crawl out of his skin just because sitting shoulder to shoulder isn’t something he can deal with at the moment. 

And then there’s him actually initiating positive contact. This is also going to take a lot of time. It may even take explanation, and it’s pretty likely that explicit permission would be greatly appreciated. 

I know this is very long. It’s something of a complex subject and is probably something I’ll continue to talk about because it’s...kind of a big thing. 

[jamesbarnesappreciationsociety]

Jessica Barnes: Jr. CEO (One Shot)

Summary: This is the cutest company takeover in history.

Pairing: CEO Daddy! Bucky Barnes x OC: Jessica Marie Barnes

Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson

Scott Lang and Peter Parker

Word Count: 1,879

Warnings: Angst; fluff

A/N: @stevieang, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to beta read for me. Your insight is greatly appreciated.

Exquisite Designs, a commercial architectural firm owned by longtime friends James Buchanan Barnes and Steven Grant Rogers, boasted some of New York’s wealthiest clients. For over 17 years, the firm built some of the most elegant office buildings dotting the skyline in New York City.

Their number one client is Stark and Wilson Land Development. The firm was currently working on the Howard and Maria Stark wing of Mt. Sinai hospital" It was a 24-7 project with big deadlines, big pressure, and big payoff. This project held a special place in Bucky’s heart. His wife, Lillian, died from a brain aneurysm, leaving behind an adorable daughter with rich brown hair like her father and hypnotic amber eyes identical to her late mother.

Her frail body lay in the lovely king size sleigh bed. Different hues of blues dotted the sheets, comforter and blanket. Blue is her favorite color. James Buchanan Barnes, held his wife Lillian’s dainty hand. He knew her time on Earth was drawing to an end. Sunken eyes turned towards her husband whispering, “Please promise me, you’ll live for Jess.”

“Don’t know how to do that without you, Doll.” Bucky wiped the steady stream of tears from his face. 

With a faint smile on her face, Lillian Marie Barnes closed her eyes. Shoulders shaking, Bucky sobbed openly, kissing her hand. “I love you, Lillian. I’ll do my best for Jess.”

Steve heard his best friend crying. He then realized, his “Lillie Bug” was gone. Trying to explain to a 3 year old that her mommy was gone, Steve put it this way. “Munchkin’, ya remember when your daddy told ya that mommy would go to sleep forever?” 

Jess nodded ‘yes.’ “Daddy said mommy was Sleeping Beauty, but the Prince couldn’t wake her up. So, she’ll be in Heaven watching out for us. Is she an Angel now, Uncle Stevie?”

“Yeah, Lillie Bug is an Angel.” Jess crawled in her uncle’s lap, “I’m sad.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” Burying her face in Steve’s massive chest, Jess cried herself to sleep. 

Following Lillian’s memorial service, Bucky spiralled into deep depression. No longer able to care for her, Jess mourned the loss of her mommy and daddy. Signing temporary control of Exquisite Designs to his best friend, Bucky sought the nurturing spirit of Lillian’s parents, Raymond and Bethany. They agreed to keep their granddaughter as long as needed. Unable to understand why she wasn’t with her daddy, Jess often cried, becoming clingy. 

Three months later, Steve kicked his friend in the ass, explaining Jess longed for her daddy. Losing her mother had taken a toll on her young life, now she needed him to get it together. 

Realizing Steve was right, Bucky planned a father/daughter vacation to Maui. As you would imagine, Jessica was delighted. Boarding his private jet, the duo made their way to crystal clear water, sugar white sandy beaches, for a chance to reconnect with his daughter. Tucked away in his luggage were photo albums, holding page after page of heartwarming memories.

Sitting in Bucky’s lap, Jess wiped the tears cascading down Bucky’s face. “Daddy, don’t be sad. Mommy is in Heaven. She can see us, just look up.” 

Turning her gaze towards a cloudless sky, Jess baby girl smiled and whispered,“Mommy told me to take care of you.” 

“Thank you Jess. I Iove you so much. Please forgive me for not spending time with you. Your momma was my world. Following her death, life just wasn’t the same. I neglected the one person who needed me the most; YOU!”

“Daddy, it’s okay.” Her face was sincere and her words showed the goodness deep within.

“No baby, it’s not. From now on, I’ll take more time off.” 

Her face lit up like a carnival in the night. “Really?? Yippee!”

Upon returning home, Bucky thought of a wonderful way to honor his wife’s memory. He approached Steve about plans for “The Lillian Marie Barnes Child Care Center.” A free center for all employees of the firm.  Parents could be there at the beginning, middle, and end of the day and didn’t have to worry about their little ones while at work. The age limits were: infants 6 months - 1 years old and children 2- 4 years old. Employees, as you could imagine, were ecstatic. 

Since “The Howard and Maria Stark Children’s Wing” was on schedule, Peter Parker, Director of Marketing, pitched an idea to Bucky. 

Gathered around the spacious cherrywood table were upper management and their executive assistants. Facilitating the meeting, Peter laid out his plans for “Kids Takeover the Firm Day.” “I thought it would be fun to take a day off and let the kids run the company. We’ve worked extremely hard to meet all our deadlines and it’s been accomplished.” Everyone listened attentively.

“Have you decided on a date?” Bucky leaned on the table.

“How about this Saturday? The phone lines won’t be operational just in case one of the kids decides to call out, and our answering service would alert us if they received calls that weren’t caught by one of us.”

Bucky added, “You might be onto something Peter. I’m sure they would love to dress up and  play Junior Executives for a day.”

Nat and Clint’s twins, Mason and Jason, would serve as Jr. Executive Assistants to the Jr. CEO.

Steve agreed, “Jessica should serve as Jr. CEO.” 

Bucky couldn’t believe his ears. “Are you sure? I don’t want any favoritism.”

“She’d make a great Junior CEO!” Wanda’s eyes sparkled.

With this in mind, Bucky suggested taking the remainder of the day off. “Alright, let’s get the ball rolling. I have a little CEO to shop for.”

Bucky made his way to Jessica’s preschool class. She immediately sprinted to his arms.“Hi sweetheart. How’s my girl?” 

“I’m fine daddy. We learned our ABC’s and numbers!” Jess’ smile mimicked that of her mommy’s.  

“What? My goodness you’re smart!”  Bucky kissed  her cheek, nose and forehead before dropping the big news on her.

“Guess what? On Saturday, all the kids of the moms and dads that work for Daddy and Uncle Steve’s company get to be in charge for the day. Uncle Steve has promoted you to Junior Chief Executive Officer - the Big Boss.”You’ve been deemed Jr. CEO.”

Unable to contain her enthusiasm, Jess sprung up on her toes. Pumping her fists in the air, she jumped around declaring, “I’M THE BOSS...I’M THE BOSS!!!”

“Peanut, there’s more to being CEO than just saying you’re the boss. Remember that it’s important to always treat your employees with respect.”

“Okay daddy. I’ll be good.” 

“How about a shopping trip? You’ll need new clothes, a briefcase, and shoes!”  There wasn’t much his girl loved more than going shopping.  She was all in now.

“Let’s go!!!”

TIME FOR WORK

At 8:00 on the dot, decked out in her navy blue “suit” and carrying her briefcase and phone, Jessica Marie Barnes, Jr. CEO, reported for work. 

Natasha’s twins Mason and Jason, donned brown two-piece suits, cream shirts, and brown striped ties. Malachi Rogers sported a gray 3 piece suit, powder blue shirt, and solid tie. Wanda, Scott and Sam’s kids also looked razor sharp, in pastel dress shirts, dark pants, and black patent leather shoes. 

Parents and kids gathered in the small conference room. The kids couldn’t sit still, they were hyped to get the show on the road.

“I must admit, this is the best dressed staff in all of New York.” Bucky beamed, “Jessica, you have the floor.”

“Thank you Mr. Barnes. Good morning. My name is Jessica Barnes but you can call me Jess. It’s time for our morning meeting. Follow me to the small room.” 

Their parents laughed quietly and smiled as they filed out of the room.  How much trouble could 3 and 4 year olds get into? Yikes!

Parents applauded as Jess led her friends to another conference room set-up with breakfast sandwiches, fruit, pastry and juice boxes.

Munching on a sausage and biscuit, Malachi announced, “Okay, folks. We have a lot of work to do. There’s a meeting with people who want something built.” 

One little lady asked, “Mr. Grant, who?”  

Malachi replied, “I dunno let’s make something up.”

One factor forgotten, in the midst of their excitement of the day, the cuteness of the kids, someone forgot what could happen if kids consume copious amounts of S.U.G.A.R.  

Jess, Malachi, Mason and Jason wandered away from the others and ended up in one of the copy rooms. Mason, with wide-eyed wonder, suggested making copies of their faces. How they turned the machine on is one of life’s biggest mysteries. They took turns copying faces, arms and legs. Jason, however, took it one step further. He sat on the machine and took a picture of his bottom. 

Next, a group of 3-year-olds snuck into a few offices with sticky hands, pressing on the keyboards. Yep, they made a mess. 

Not to be left out, Jessica and her gang visited the employee break room. The refrigerator and lower cabinets were raided. They devoured chips, Christmas candy, and cookies leftover from an office meeting. 

Smeared on the pristine white walls were tiny chocolate handprints, water and orange juice got spilled onto the floor, and a few kids ate too much. The room was an absolute MESS.

Mason and Jason tried to clean up the spilled juice throwing paper towels on the floor. Malachi retrieved a mop, attempting to clean up.

Instead, he slipped, face first, soiling his new suit. Jessica, completely flustered, plopped on the floor in tears.

Leave it to the Moms in the room to hear what wasn’t being said.  Natasha and Wanda suddenly looked at each other and sprinted out of the room towards the suddenly-silent children.  They knew that quiet kids equaled disaster and were nauseous at the thought of what they might find.  All the parents ran and converged on the breakroom, stopped cold by what they found.  As they surveyed the damage. Bucky murmured, “What the hell happened in here?”

While he shook his head, most of the parents pulled out their phones to capture the moment.

The state of the room was nothing compared to the tired, messy children who were in varying stages of sugar crashes. Bucky looked at Steve, “We’re going to have to give the cleaning company a major bonus after this weekend. They’re going to think we left a zoo loose in here!”

Understanding the need for parents, as well as kids to recuperate, Steve suggested everyone take an extended weekend. Everyone accepted the gracious offer.  

“Kids Takeover the Firm Day” was a complete success. Jessica Barnes’ reign as CEO had come to an end. Sleeping soundly on her daddy’s black leather office sofa, Jess was visibly exhausted. Kissing her chubby cheek, Bucky moved a strand of hair from her forehead. In that moment, he felt Lillian’s presence. Wiping a wayward tear from his face, Bucky knew his wife would live on through Jessica Marie Barnes, Junior CEO.

Tagging: @stevieang @loricameback @mrsgoodnight @suz-123 @pegasusdragontiger

[fanfic-scribbles]

Ways To Say You Care

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Bucky’s been out of the dating game for a while, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his eye on someone. Courting someone is a bit different these days, but people still like ‘secret admirers’ right? He hopes you do.

Quick facts: Romance – Bucky/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Fluff, such fluff, just…fluff

Words: 3106

A/N: I had an idea for a Valentine’s Day fic that actually split into two different fics. So this week is Bucky x Reader because it lost the explicit ‘Valentine’s Day’ setting and just turned out romantic, whereas next week is a Castiel x Reader that is themed for the holiday. This fic is one of those that turned out much different than I expected but I still like the end result, and I hope you enjoy it too.

    “Man, you have got this down to an art.”

“Shut up,” Bucky says and sips his drink. He flicks his eyes back down to the paper he’s pretending to read. “Are you staring? You better not be staring.”

“I’m not staring,” Sam chuckles. “You know, this whole thing would be creepy if they weren't checking you out almost as much.”

Bucky smiles into the newsprint. He glances up but you’re sitting on the other side of a wide path, focused on your book with little headphones in your ears. But then– you do glance up, and as soon as you see Bucky looking you hide your face in the pages. He’s pretty sure he saw you smile, though.

“Seriously,” Sam says. “When are you going to say ‘hi’?”

“I’m working on it.” Bucky flips to the next section. “I’ve got to start facing rejection sometime.”

“There’s no reason to be negative like that.”

“They don’t know who I am.”

“Ease up on the angst there, Batman.” Sam rolls his eyes. “Besides, I’m pretty sure they do. There’s not exactly a surplus of people with metal arms. Not even in this city.”

Bucky frowns and checks his arm– long sleeves, gloves, and a jacket usually cover him well enough. “Where’s it showing?”

“It isn’t now, but it did.” Sam’s grin is a bright warning sign. “Remember? That day I knocked you on your ass?”

Bucky scoffs and shoots him a glare. “More like when you knocked me on my face.”

“Well it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.”

“Har fucking har.” But Bucky smirks. “I do remember that, actually. ‘Cause I remember after you knocked me down and they came over and tore you a new one. You remember that?”

Sam snorts. “I remember it took you way too long to tell them I was your friend.”

“I had to decide if you still were.”

“Fuck you, Barnes.”

“No thanks Wilson; I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Sam laughs and Bucky smiles. He watches you though, as you place your bookmark, pack up, and slowly walk away to the main path where runners, cyclists, and the rest of the riffraff eventually swallow you up.

“Seriously,” Sam says. “I’m not Steve and I’m not your therapist; I’m not going to push you. But I am your friend. Please tell me you’re going to do something about this.”

Bucky folds his paper neatly. “Don’t worry– I have a plan.”

Gift One

Bucky is practically fidgeting, he’s so nervous. He’s trying to call on the Winter Soldier side of himself but it isn’t working. On one hand, it’s comforting that it doesn’t come so easy anymore. On the other hand, he could really use it right now.

Though from a completely different hand, it’s possible that even the Soldier is terrified by this.

Someone is coming down the path and Bucky’s eyes dart from side to side until he sees you and forces his vision back to his paper. He should be relaxing, now that he doesn’t have to keep such a sharp eye out for interlopers, but he feels like a crushed-up ball of nerves.

You slow when you notice the card propped on your usual bench, innocent red envelope addressed on the basis of your favorite jacket and your taste in books. Bucky is very careful not to be seen looking, but he watches your every move. You pick up the envelope and keep your eyes on it as you sit, and you barely set your things to the side before you start (gently) prying open the flap.

Bucky watches as you read the card. It was the least cheesy one he could find at the store and the message he wrote was very simple, but your smile lights up your whole face and you let your eyes dart over it again and again and Bucky has to shove his paper up over his face and breathe deep in effort not to rip it because he did that? He had thought you’d be pleased but he never thought he could make anyone smile like that.

He forces himself to calm down. Even though you spend your morning intermittently picking up the card, Bucky doesn’t break rank. He has a plan and he is going to see it through.

After you pack up and leave, smile still on your face, Bucky does allow himself to drop the paper to his lap and sigh.

At least he’s off to a good start.

  Gift Two

There’s a small box on your bench.

At first, Bucky was going to put another envelope there but it didn’t sit right with him to do the same thing twice. Even though this is technically different.

The original plan was one gift card. A simple gift that could be personalized to a moderate extent. Then he got stuck between two perfectly good options– he’s seen you with Starbucks, and he’s seen you with books. Both, all the time. Which one do you love more? Warm drinks are good for this chilly weather, but books are also comforting.

In the end he mostly stuck with the plan and got a Starbucks gift card. And then he realized that he’d be setting out another envelope, so he then got you a pair of earbuds, and put both gifts in a small box.

So the plan is already off the rails and he doesn’t like it one bit. Then, as you approach the bench and see the small present, your eyes light up, and it’s when you start to open it that Bucky sees another problem with this plan.

Neither of his gifts have been signed. Sure, it’s reasonable for you to assume that it’s him leaving them– he’s always present and Sam is right, you both have been trading glances for a while– but the fact is that you don’t know who that box is from and you’re not being cautious at all; you just open it and–

Your smile makes Bucky relax. This will be a problem later, but for now he just enjoys watching you appreciate your gifts. “This is so nice,” you murmur to yourself. Not too nice, Bucky notes with relief. Maybe being a little bold isn’t so bad after all.

His phone buzzes and Bucky curses as he pulls it out. Naturally it’s Steve with a “situation” and command to get to the tower ASAP. Bucky confirms, but practically breaks the phone when he ends the call. He takes one last look at your blissful expression before he runs off.

  Gift Three

Bucky is exhausted.

He just got back last night and spent too much time tracking down a flower store that was still open. The rest of the team is going to be sleeping for the next few days– even Steve had looked at him funny when he was leaving the house.

  “You're up,” Bucky pointed out.

“Do I look like I’m going anywhere?” Steve asked and gestured at his pajama pants and t-shirt. “Is everything okay Buck?”

Bucky hesitated. “It’s…good. It’s going really good. I’ll tell you about it later.”

Steve’s smile was so big Bucky could already feel the boa constrictor hug incoming, and if Steve squashed the flowers in Bucky’s coat, Bucky really would murder him this time. “Now eat your Wheaties and go nap in front of the TV, old man,” Bucky said and swung the door open.

“Have fun feeding your birds,” Steve said. Bucky flipped him off and slammed the door shut.

  It’s not a bouquet, just two flowers tied together with ribbon and positioned carefully, but as simple as it is, Bucky likes it and hopes that you do too. He can barely pretend to read, his eyes are so heavy, but his stubborn persistence is rewarded.

If you’ve ever had doubts about where the gifts have been coming from, they’re probably well abolished after several days with no gift and then only getting one on Bucky’s return. However you still humor him, regarding the flowers without looking at him, and quietly thanking your “secret admirer,” your smile widening greatly on those two words.

Bucky feels at peace as he sits with his book and you sit with yours, until you have to go. Reluctantly, Bucky stands and stretches. Maybe he’ll have a nap. A short one. This next present is going to be the penultimate and it needs to be perfect.

  Gift Four

He finished it.

It’s sitting on the bench, folded carefully and looking as good as it can. Bucky fidgets– mostly to keep himself awake. Steve had barged in at two a.m. and threatened to tranq him. Bucky had responded by throwing a spare needle into the wall next to his head. Bucky’s going to have to apologize later, and fix the wall, but it was all worth it– the scarf turned out amazing, if he does say so himself. And he does. Say so. Or think so. Christ, he’s tired.

As soon as you catch sight of it you gasp and rush over. It’s all even more worth it as Bucky watches you unravel the scarf and feel it over. He knew it would be worth it, but it’s one thing to ‘know’ and it’s something else to see you running your hands over every purl before you throw the whole thing around your neck and nuzzle it with your cheek.

So worth it.

Bucky’s phone rings and he’s content when he answers. “Barnes.”

“Bucky,” Steve says. “Please. You have got to get some sleep.”

Bucky watches you for a moment while he takes stock of his body. “Okay.”

“You– wait,” Steve says. “Okay?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Bucky says and stands. “You want me to pick up breakfast on the way?”

“Uh…sure. Bagels. And coffee– but none for you,” Steve says sternly. “And yes, I forgive you for trying to spear me with a knitting needle.”

Bucky snorts. “If I had really wanted to, I would have.”

“Mm hm,” Steve says. “So? How’d it go?”

Bucky considers it. “Good,” he decides.

“Good?” Steve repeats, sounding disappointed.

“I’m not done yet,” Bucky says, giving a courtesy glance before crossing. “Tomorrow.”

“Ah,” Steve says. “You better come home and get some sleep then.”

“That’s the idea,” Bucky says and hangs up. He’ll catch crap for it when he gets home, but that’s okay. Steve’s right– Bucky has to rest before tomorrow.

  Gift Five

The bench is empty.

Bucky sits, second-guessing himself and glaring at the sky. It downpoured overnight and has already rained again once on his way over. Lightly, but still. He’s not sure if you’ll even come, but he hopes, and his sleeves are wet from wiping the benches dry.

Thankfully, you arrive. Wearing the scarf. He’s too slow to look away and so there’s a moment of brief eye contact. You smile at him, and what’s more– you hesitate. Bucky feels his heart speed up. Is this it? It’s too soon, he’s not ready; he hasn’t prepared enough for– but you take your seat, and Bucky is left with retreating adrenaline and echoes of a racing heartbeat.

You take out your book and he focuses on his, for something grounding. He’s too nervous right now; he just needs a little time to calm down. Natasha has said he gets ‘loom-y’ when he’s nervous and as out of practice as he is, he knows that’s not how you want to ask someone on a date. So he’s just going to take a moment.

The weather has a problem with this plan.

When Bucky sees the first droplet land on the page, he curses. He shuts the book fast but not before more rain wets the page and he hurries to pop open his umbrella just before the cloudburst truly starts.

When he sees you, though, you’re still struggling with your umbrella and getting soaked in the meantime. He leaps up and rushes over, and only realizes what he’s done when you look up at him with a grateful smile. He freezes.

“Thank you,” you say.

He’s still frozen. You go back to fighting with your umbrella and after an eternity he manages to mumble, “You're welcome.”

“What?” you ask and squint up at him through the water still running down your face. He shakes his head and gestures for your umbrella while holding his to you. He crouches down so he can (mostly) stay under the cover while he tries to fix the problem. You scoot in and when he glances to the side he’s practically nose-to-spine with the book in your lap, and only centimeters away from your fingers, which are curled lightly around the waterlogged binding.

The fact that you’re hovering over him spurs him into working faster, but two of the wires are completely busted and no amount of coaxing is going to make it fan right. He looks up to give you the bad news but his face must say it all. You sigh. “I thought so,” you say sadly and glance at your book similarly. “Thank you anyway.”

You hand him back his umbrella and he stands and waits for you to do the same. You look at him curiously. “I’ll walk you to the street,” he says, thanking any deity who’s listening for his suddenly functioning vocal cords. “Until you get a cab.”

“Oh, I don’t want to put you out.”

“I insist.” The words surprise him as much as they surprise you, but you smile. Boldness rewarded, he bends his free arm out in offering.

“I’m soaked,” you say apologetically.

“So am I,” he says, even though he’s damp and you look like you’ve jumped in a lake.

You take his arm and, wet or not, he could stand here all day. Except you shiver and he knows now is not the moment he needs. He waves down a cab in record time. While holding the umbrella at the back door for you, he raps sharply on the passenger window. As you’re still maneuvering into the car Bucky leans in and hands the driver practically enough cash to get you to Canada. “Wherever they want to go; keep the change.”

The man’s eyes go wide and he nods rapidly. Bucky moves back to you just as you settle in.

“Thank you,” you say. You smile nervously. “I’ll…see you when the weather gets better?”

He nods. “Go warm up; don’t want you to catch a cold,” he says. You nod and he stands there awkwardly for a moment before he reluctantly steps back and shuts the door, letting the car speed off. It didn’t go as planned, but that’s all right. He’s going to make this work.

  Gift…One

There’s something on his bench.

And there’s someone watching him.

The something is a messily wrapped present that sort of resembles a circle. Vaguely. The someone watching is…you. Hiding behind a tree up the path.

Bucky laughs quietly to himself and goes to take his seat. He picks up the gift and finds a small card underneath. ‘For your running shoes,’ it reads and is signed by ‘your (mutual) secret admirer.’

Bucky can’t stop smiling, and he barely resists the urge to look up at you. Instead he opens his present. Shoelaces. Three bundles, each pair with unique patterns and vibrant colors. Well, Sam always says he wears too much black. Wait’ll he sees these.

Bucky hears you dart off and he watches you speed-walk away. After you almost collide with someone when you try to glance back, you keep your head forward and make your escape. Apparently his plan is officially on hold. That’s all right– Bucky is learning how to roll with the punches on this particular mission. He pockets the gift and card. He’s gotta go lace up his shoes.

  Gift Two

The next day he finds a gift card for The Strand. He watches you go again, and when you glance back and notice he’s watching you, you trip over your feet and barely catch yourself from falling.

It figures. Bucky has always loved disasters. He wouldn’t live with one if he didn’t.

  Gift Three

A warm beanie. Hand-bought if not hand-made, but Bucky loves it just as much. It’s cool blue and grey, and he puts it on immediately.

He hears a soft, “yes!” just before you run away.

  Gift Four

This gift seems more traditional and Bucky unwraps it carefully. It’s a small photo frame, and inside is a candid shot of Steve and Sam wrestling after, Bucky assumes, the two of them tripped each other up.

When he gets home he makes room for it right in the center of the mantle. Steve mutters about how the two of you at least have creepy stalking in common. Bucky socks him in the arm so hard that Steve glares at him off and on for the rest of the day.

  When Bucky arrives the next day, there’s no gift, and you’re reading in your usual spot.

He walks right over and asks, “Can I sit here?”

You shut your book too fast to save your spot but you nod, and Bucky takes his seat while you struggle to find the right page again. Once you do, and mark it, he clears his throat. “I’m…James. Barnes. But I go by Bucky.”

That could have gone better, but you don’t seem to notice as you introduce yourself. Bucky hesitates for just a moment before he plows forward. “This might sound out of the blue but I was wondering…if you’d like to go to dinner with me tonight?”

You grin and your body slouches in unmistakable relief. “That is pretty quick,” you say. “You only just learned my name.”

“It’s a really great name,” Bucky says and you laugh. You laugh. Because of him.

“How can I resist a compliment like that?” you say. “I’d love to.”

This is the best day of Bucky’s life.

“But…”

He stops mentally patting himself on the back, but you’re still smiling. “Dinner’s a long time away,” you say. “Maybe you’d like to come to breakfast with me?”

Bucky falls back to a familiar smile. “I’d love to.”

You get up and extend your right hand straight out for his left. Bucky goes to grab it, unthinking, until he notices which hand and– he freezes.

“Bucky.”

He looks at you. You look so patient. So gentle. “If it makes you uncomfortable then that’s one thing,” you say. “But I know. And you don’t have to worry on my account.”

He pauses, but slips his hand into yours, and he doesn’t let go for a very long time.