#the track info was from last month so pretty recent

[burirammin]

ThaiGP 2024 weather and minor track update!

Let's start with the weather, we are now still at the tail end of rainy season so probability of rain surprises are still on the table but not a certainty.

First off, NO RAIN on Friday. All hot and humid sunshine for today.

Here's what interesting tho. There are SO MANY contradicting information (from different sites) regarding if it will rain or not on Saturday and Sunday. Some say it will only rain in the evening. Some say there could be light drizzle in the afternoon aka. race time on both days but more likely for Saturday so I'll keep an eye on that 👀

In short : flag to flag race is a possibility

And now for a minor track update. Turn 8 (first part of a double right handers) curb at chang international circuit has been modified to be taller and is now the same height as turn 1 (first right hander between two long straight) and 4 (high-speed left hander) at four inches.

Nothing out of the ordinary, but good to know.

(pictures below for how it currently looks though I am not sure which turns these are)

[rebeccathenaturalist]

hey there! fellow naturalist (albeit less experienced!) here! in regards to the AI-generated ID guides, do you have any advice for helping the general public learn to recognize them? are there any giveaways other than incorrect information a layperson might not pick up on that we can tell people to watch out for?

Hi, @fischotterkunst! It's a messy topic, to be sure, but here's what I've been seeing of these AI-generated texts, at least on Amazon:

--If you sort your search for "foraging book" or "mushroom hunting" or whatever search string you use by "Newest Arrivals", you'll notice that there is a glut of books that have come out in the past few weeks. Yes, there are always new books, but this is at a higher than normal rate, which suggests AI is behind at least some of them. There ARE occasionally real authors' books that just happened to come out recently, so don't dismiss every single book that is a fresh release. Use the other criteria below.

--They will invariably be self-published or from some publisher with zero online presence. Not a problem by itself; my own chapbooks are self-published on Amazon KDP. But they come out every three months, not every three days, because I am researching, writing, and editing them all myself, rather than churning out content with AI.

--The titles and subtitles are often very long and stuffed with keywords. They are obviously optimized for search engines rather than being descriptive of the book and they have a rather clunky fashion.

--Look for obvious typos and other errors; for example, in the image above we have "WILD MUSHROOM COOKBOOK FOR BEGINNER: The complete guide on mushroom foraging and cooking with delicious recipes to enjoy your favorite". It should be "for beginners", and the subtitle just...ends prematurely. Favorite what? Favorite mushrooms? Favorite cartoon characters? Favorite color? Also, while there are lot of variations on name spellings, "Magaret" instead of "Margaret" stands out as a possible fake in combination with other clues. (All her other books also have this spelling, though.)

--This is a BIG one: Who's the author? Check their bio. In the above image you'll see that "Jason Cones", the author of "The Wild Edible Plants Forager's Handbook: A Beginner's Guide to Safe Foraging, Including How to Identify Edible Plants, Learn About Their Medicinal Properties, and Prepare Them for Cooking", has a very generic picture and bio that has pretty obviously been generated by AI. If you search for him online, the only page for an author named Jason Cones is the Amazon author page--no website, no social media, no interviews, nada. Even a brand new author will at least have something other than their Amazon page, and they'll mention experience, credentials, other biographical info.

--Look at the author's other books. Magaret seems to focus on cookbooks of very specific sorts, but again they've all come out in a very short time. They also tend to often be on really super-specific niche subjects--this, again, is not a red flag in and of itself, but it's a common pattern with AI "authors". Jason Cones, on the other hand, has written over two dozen books not just about foraging but anger management techniques, acupressure, and weed gummies, and all of his titles have come out since last December.

--If all the books have the same cover but slight differences in title, it's also a big red flag. There are reputable publishers of regional foraging guides like Timber Press, but their books are written by multiple authors and have come out over a long stretch of years (plus they're a well-known publisher with a solid track record, online presence, etc.) Also notice the typos in the title and subtitle; everyone says "Mushroom Foraging", not "Mushrooms Foraging", and "Keep Track Your Mushroom Sightings" is missing "of".

--Compare the descriptions of multiples of these new books and you start seeing patterns. If you look at the images above, you'll notice that both Lorna K. Thompson's "Foraging Recipe Cookbook" and Kevin Page's "The Ultimate Foraging Guide for Seniors" have a very similar formulaic description. They start with a brief story about a person in a town or village who discovers some foraging secrets and then transforms his life, and then a list of things you're supposedly going to find in this seemingly miraculous book. This basically reads like "Hey, ChatGPT, tell me a story of a person who improved their life with foraging in two hundred words or less!" Also, the ends got cut off of my screen shot, but they both end with "GET YOUR COPY TODAY!"

I have not purchased any of these books to verify how awful the content is, but what little content I can see in the previews is uniformly formulaic and, again, reads like someone asked an AI to write content on a topic with some specific keywords thrown in. Needless to say, I do NOT recommend any of these books.

Also, I feel really bad for any actual authors who released their books in the past few months. They're likely getting drowned out by this AI junk, though hopefully they're getting enough attention for their work through their publishers, social media, etc. to get some sales. Support your real-life authors, and boycott AI!

Finally, PLEASE reblog this! It's really, really important that people know what to look for, and the more posts we have floating around with this info, the less likely it is someone's going to get poisoned by following what these books have to say.

[otomiyaa]

COPYRIGHT STRIKES ⚠️

I'm posting this because as many of you know I lost my account a few months ago, and recently I've seen some blogs I follow also say they received copyright strikes, including this post by @xsezzie and this post by @b1adie + a few more, and by now I've noticed a pattern!

Be careful when posting leaks, screenshots or anything about unreleased characters from Genshin Impact and Honkai Star Rail

My blog got nuked around a time when I was yelling and posting a lot about Furina and she wasn't released yet at that time, we only had leaks and a couple of preview pics of her back then.

Though I couldn't track the URLs in the e-mail notifications, I'm now pretty sure the posts may have been Furina related, and they brutally and mercilessly gave me multiple strikes which resulted in immediate account termination.

It can't be said with 100% certainty where they draw the line (screenshots, official art, leaks, uncensored names etc.), but it's just that I've already seen multiple cases of copyright strikes that involved unreleased Hoyoverse characters, so please be careful, they seem to be a trigger for the hunters of the company I mentioned in my other post.

Also linking this post for more info:

[puddingvalkyrie]

Reading massively improved my mental health and I want to talk about it in case it can help others!

Y'all, I think we all need to read more books.

I know I'm an author so I WOULD say that and in fact, I DO say that to children at every opportunity (my dyslexia would be a LOT worse if I hadn't read so much as a kid) but hear me out.

So back in ...March/April I was pretty miserable and it was partly because Norwegian winter will do that to an unprepared foreigner but also because it was the anniversary of The Bad Thing so I felt miserable and alone.

I had no way to really remedy the situation.

But one thing I did do was... Finally crack. See, I'd been DYING to reread my Discworld books, but they are in a different country and I can't afford to go get them or have them sent to me. I have a few paper books here though - I mainly took my fairytale collections, because what did you expect? Actually I guess hardly anyone on Tumblr knows me - Alicia does two things. Vampires. And Fairytales. Didn't bring my vampire encyclopedia, too big and heavy. Anyway.

I have a part time job with an hour on the train each way. I started taking my paper books, my fairytale collections. They were full of short things I could finish easily in a train journey.

Some info. I had managed to sour reading for myself some years previously... I mainly read for research purposes, hardly picking up anything just for the fun of it. PSA: Don't do this. Do not do this. Don't. Do NOT.

And then I reread one of the few paper fiction books I had with me. I enjoy fairytales but they do still fall under 'sort of work' for me. This did not. This was a book I am eagerly awaiting the finale to.

Anyway, I finished it quickly, reading it both on and off the train. You know. For fun. Not just fill time I was stuck somewhere.

Finishing it annoyed me. I wanted more stories. I wanted more than fairytales. And so I cracked. I bought Equal Rites as an ebook. See, I'd previously decided I would not buy anything I already owned in paperback as an ebook because... Well, waste of money, something I don't have enough of. To buy my entire discworld collection in ebook format would cost as much as getting on a plane and bringing my paper ones back.

But just ONE book would be alright, wouldn't it?

So anyway I finished the book.

Of course I'm not going to read just ONE discworld book.

So I carefully ration myself ebooks, making a condition for myself that they are mainly for the train, but I am allowed to read them at home too.

And gradually... The fog lifted. Nothing much has changed besides that I'm reading books regularly again. I still have the same problems that were upsetting me in March. I was also HORRIBLY BURNED OUT until last week. But my mood is MASSIVELY improved. Like, hugely improved. And yeah, yeah, it's summer now, so the weather will have helped also. But I can pinpoint my recovery to when I started reading regularly again. And that is to say that while I was burned out, I wasn't ALSO sad.

So from now on I will be making an effort to keep reading books for fun.

It's kind of crazy that I had stopped for so long. I mean. I write books people are supposed to read for fun. Kinda hypocritical of me to like.. not do that.

I think maybe I have created this problem for myself with many of my hobbies. I tried to make drawing into a business, tried to do too much too fast, and since then I've barely drawn. I love cartoons so I watch them in Norwegian to help me learn - means I was never just relaxing while watching a cartoon for a few years. Recently started just watching cartoons in English/Japanese if I darn well feel like it.

...enough tangent, back to Why Reading Is Good.

Don't quote me on this, I am just scribbling down thoughts I've been meaning to write down for a month, therefore, am too lazy to track down any sources, but I'm pretty sure reading books is actually scientifically proven to help your brain?? I seem to remember reading your hippocampus shrinks if you don't exercise your brain enough and reading long stories does that. And a shrinking hippocampus causes depression?? I don't know anything much about brains and psychology so I must have read that somewhere.

I think a hippocampus is also like... A horse mermaid.

Again, no source, might be thinking of something from Mermaid Melody.

I'mma go read more of my current book now. It's a history book this time.

Yay books!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

AITA WIP Tag Game

Stealing the open tag by @winterandwords

Describe your WIP as if it were a post on r/AmITheAsshole

This one contains heavy spoilers for the Fancy Boots arc of Glass Shards. Transcript of the images is below the cut. There's also links to the images at the end, because I think tumblr compresses them.

Aaaand I'm gonna very lowkey tag: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @antisocialxconstruct and everyone who wants to :D

I don't know if you wanna do something like this. Obviously doesn't have to be image format, I just took the idea and ran with it because I'm so very normal. It's a rather high effort tag game, so feel absolutely free to ignore it <3

I'm gonna tag some people from the Glass Shards/Fancy Boots taglist as well, just for looking at it, because I put too much fucking effort into this: @teamwhump @dont-touch-my-soup @kixngiggles

Lol guys I found a thread on reddit, it's hilarious, check it out.

Poor guy got torn to shreds in the comments.

Seems there were some updates as well. I'm having my doubts about this story, but five months is a nice commitment to the bit.

All images: The Post | First Question | Second Question | Third Question | Edits | Update

All screenshots look like posts on the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, with several thousand upvotes and comments.

User u/ThrowRAFancyBoots posted seven months ago and has been voted the asshole:

AITA? I just wanted to make sure he's not a threat, but his wife is giving me the death glare

So I (25M) recently ran across an old acquaintance (35M). Last time we met… ok, there's no way around it, I was in law enforcement, and I arrested him for attempted murder. It wasn't pretty. Some things happened, and he was seriously injured. Wasn't my fault, but I admit I could have been a bigger help. I was informed he broke out of prison before his trial, but I moved away a short time later, and it kinda ended up in the back of my mind.

Now my new employer is in negotiations to move to this town, and while he's stuck in meetings all day, I got some time on my hands. And guess who I saw wandering around at the beach? I couldn't believe my eyes, but it was definitely him, he reacted to that stupid nickname they gave him.

Well, I did what any upstanding citizen would do, I tried to arrest him, but his wife (25F) — he has a wife now! — begged me to let him go. Ok, perhaps she didn't so much beg me as threaten me, but anyway, I just… I couldn't do it.

But I had to make sure he's not a threat anymore, I mean, what if I let him go and he kills someone?? So I told them I'd be over again to talk, and he invited me to dinner. It was an amazing dinner, this guy's a wonderful cook. We kept talking and I lost track of time, and then it was late and I realized I hadn't even asked my questions, so I told them I’d come back the next afternoon.

It's been 4 days now, and I've visited them daily, and I don't believe he's anywhere near the monster people said he is. Really, his wife seems to be more dangerous than he is. I think she's about to stab me. If looks could kill, I would be dead already. It’s making me wonder.

I just want to make absolutely sure, you know? Is that too much to ask? I didn't even come for dinner each day, so he wouldn't have to cook for me, though he still offered me something every time (it was absolutely delicious). I came along as he went shopping, and he was nice to everyone, and everyone seemed to like him. When someone asked, he introduced me as his friend of all things. If he’s an actor, he’s the best fucking actor I’ve ever seen.

So I'm asking, am I the asshole for bothering them for a few days while making absolutely sure he's not a threat anymore?

Several people have replied to this post:

First reply thread:

BurntSalad: INFO: What do you want to ask him?

ThrowRAFancyBoots: I want to ask him why he did it.

BurntSalad: YTA. It's been 4 days. Just check the police records or something, if you're too much of a coward lol

ThrowRAFancyBoots: I would have to ask. There wasn't a motive, it was straight up an assassination attempt. It doesn't make sense. Not when you get to know him. That's why I've been coming back.

UpperDogPants: then ask. put on your big boy pants and stop ruining their lives

ThrowRAFancyBoots: I will. Tomorrow.

Second reply thread:

CheeseAndPasta79: INFO: What was for dinner?

ThrowRAFancyBoots: Bean roast, mashed potatoes, glazed vegetables and freshly baked bread, why?

CheeseAndPasta79: YTA

ThrowRAFancyBoots: :(

Third reply thread:

SecretlyJealous2342: YTA you just want to fuck his wife

ThrowRAFancyBoots: No I do not want to fuck his wife, wtf.

Next comes a screenshot of the lower part of the OP, which now shows several edits and update. The thread has been locked:

Edit: Since people have repeatedly asked about the incident when he was arrested: his gun exploded, and he blew up his hand. We had to cut it off to save his life, and it… it was pretty gruesome, and I'm not proud of anything we did, all right? I didn't want to mention it, because I figured it might lead to prejudices before you've even read the whole story.

Edit 2: I don't think he's a killer. He really, really doesn't behave like one. But people wanted to know what I could possibly want to ask him after 4 days, and it's complicated. I want to know why he did it. For some reason, I can't seem to ask him that. But if I don’t know what made him do it, how can I be sure he won’t do it again?

Edit 3: Ok, after the latest edit, people seem to agree that I'm the asshole. Perhaps you’re right but can’t you see the predicament I’m in? And no, for those who were asking if his motives weren’t clear, they were not. It wasn’t a case of jealousy or revenge or anything, it was an assassination attempt, plain and simple. Perhaps he was blackmailed into it, or… fuck, I don’t know. This one day. I’ll go back one more time, ask my question, and leave them alone afterwards.

Update: I think I fucke 

Update 2: Sorry, I dropped my phone and hit send too early. My hands are shaking. I fucked up. I went back today (yeah, yeah, I know) and I saw something I shouldn’t have seen. He’s… it’s not my secret to share, and I won’t do that to him in case he or anyone he knows will ever find this, but safe to say, he was treated so much worse than I had assumed. I didn’t… It wasn’t me, but I let this happen to him.

You were right, I’m gonna leave him alone, but I have to go back one last time to tell them I will keep his secret. Fingers crossed I won’t end up with a knife between my eyes. Just kidding. Hopefully.

Update 3: So, uh, things took a turn, and I don’t know what to make of it, but… I think it’s a good thing? When I went to apologize, I brought something of his, something I had kept since the day I handed him over. I told him how I quit my job afterwards, because of what we did, because I couldn’t look those people in the eye anymore. And how I had kept this object to remind me.

I wouldn’t have asked him anymore, but it was him who brought up the question, and I decided to be honest, so I finally asked him why he had done it. I was right, he had been forced by someone. Not only the attempted murder, but also the rest, which I didn’t… I didn’t mention it because it would have made his identity too obvious and might put him at risk, but it doesn’t matter anymore, because there’s no fucking chance he’ll ever do it again.

I’m sorry, my thoughts are all over the place. When I left, he actually ran after me and invited me to dinner. I went, and before you call me an asshole again, this time… it was different. They were actually at ease around me. 

I’m now back in my room, and I can’t stop wondering where to go from here. If he really wants to be friends. We’ll see. I’m gonna leave it fully up to him, that’s the least I can do. 

I guess the question of whether I am the asshole has been answered (yes I was, big time). It doesn’t really matter anymore, but since people seem to be strangely invested (you should try reading a book instead), I can let you all know in a few weeks how things are going.

The last screenshot is of a new reddit post by u/ThrowRAFancyBoots, with even more upvotes and awards, two months ago.

Update: I just wanted to make sure he's not a threat, but his wife is giving me the death glare

I promised an update, but things have been kinda crazy. At first, everything was going well, I was visiting more often, and while his wife still didn’t like me (I can’t blame her) she was courteous enough. I would say he and I became friends, which is… fuck, I don’t really have many close friends.

It really took her flipping out at me to realize that I was holding the threat to his life over his head. That if I were to hand him over to the authorities, they were going to kill him. That I’ve been coming into his home, basically telling him “if you can’t convince me you’re nice enough, I’ll have you killed”. 

Yeah, you were right. I’m a fucking idiot.

And just when things started to settle, shit hit the fan. Turns out, he hadn’t told his brother about me (for which I also can’t blame him). Said brother wasn’t very amused to see me leaving the house and lost his temper. Not to go into details, but if my friend’s wife had taken a few moments longer to come out and check on the noise, I wouldn’t be writing this now.

I was out of commission for several weeks, which I spent at their house. His wife’s behavior took a 180 degree turn, and she’s been fussing over me ever since. Which is kinda endearing, but I hate to see her worry like that. Those two are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and it hurts my heart to think what they’ve been through.

Lost my job in the meantime, because my employer got sick of waiting for my return (I can’t… well perhaps I do blame him. A tiny bit. He could have gotten a temporary replacement, but fuck me, I guess). Not sure where to go next, I’m not quite fit to return to work yet, but there’s a chance the local headquarters will employ me directly, which would be fantastic. If not… I’ll figure something out. I could always return home to my family, but I’d really like to find a way to stay here.

Now I know my friend’s brother was just worried about him (for which I absolutely can’t blame him), so I decided to forgive him for attacking me. There’s nothing more important than family, and to think I almost destroyed theirs… I’m incredibly lucky to still be around, and to have them in my life, and for everything to turn out rather well, all things considered.

Probably not the update you expected, but that’s life. I won’t be posting again, I already put too much of their business onto the internet. Take care, and give your friends and families a hug today, if you haven’t. 

[rootvegetableboy]

cm dev log #10 - august 2024

happy september, everyone! i burned the shit out of my dominant hand this month, so, things weren’t necessarily as productive as i would’ve liked… but progress was still made for sure :)

here are a few things i worked on in august!

player death:

i did this at the very beginning of the month, as it was one of a few things necessary to release my first playtest. (more on that later!) like a lot of things i put off for months because i thought they’d be way difficult, this was a lot simpler than i’d thought it would be.

there are not a lot of moving parts to this! when your hp reaches zero, your player object is destroyed, and the death screen fades in. pressing enter at the death screen will reload your most recent save.

cutscenes and dialogue:

previously, conversations and dialogue in the game were pretty static, so i introduced an object called “obj_camerashift”. when called, this object can move both the camera & which direction the player is facing, giving the effect of the player “looking” at certain things mid-conversation.

i made a few other small changes to some dialogue-handling objects, as well. the aiming/shooting cursor now disappears when a textbox is on screen—i found being able to move the mouse around during conversations a little distracting, and i think it looks a lot more seamless this way. i also implemented an object that keeps track of plot/story related variables! surely i will not use intimate knowledge of the player’s actions against them :)

arson?

you can now set fires

fun for the whole family!

playtest one?!?!

do you guys remember last month when i said “i would love for people to playtest within the next couple months”

well… i actually moved way quicker than i was expecting and released playtest one at the beginning of august! i put out some feelers for who all would be interested back in july and was able to get a bunch of people to participate and share their feedback with me. i’ve been hearing a lot from fellow game devs about how important early and frequent playtesting is, and now i can finally say, with pride:

oh my god i get it. i am WAYYY to close to the trees. and i am so, so unbelievably grateful to everyone who took the time to test, because it really opened my eyes and gave me a much clearer picture of where things are at. let’s take a look at what people thought, and most importantly, what i learned! :)

standard enemies:

i chose to go with a goldilocks-style rating scale for the post-playtest survey. i felt like this would help me focus on the individual player’s perception and experience, because i had a lot of different ranges of skill level in playtesters. (my partner defeated the miniboss on their first try, but to my knowledge almost no other player was able to do this!)

this is a summary of responses about the difficulty of the small-scale enemies. i found it helpful to switch back and forth between the summary of all responses and individual responses when analyzing data, as often people would explain what occurence led to what choice. for example, i had one person rate Bug entirely “just right” for every category, and they explained in their written response that they enjoyed the threat level that the speed of the bug posed. i had another person rate Bug’s overall power & movement speed as “too difficult” for the same reason cited: the enemy’s speed! however, the person who found it too difficult also expressed that they don’t have much practice on keyboard&mouse games. you can start see where dev decisions start to get both more simple and more complex with access to all this info…

the summary of all responses is very helpful for analysis of overall player trends, though. i was pleasantly surprised that people tended towards finding the snake a little too easy overall (i <3 making things more difficult). i wasn’t expecting people to be so divided on the bug’s damage, so that’s one of the categories where teasing out individual responses is a little more helpful.

miniboss:

this is the most beautiful graph in the entire world to me right now.

the clear overall trend towards “just right” is so exciting for a first playtest!! it’s also a huge relief to know that the core gameplay is legitmately enjoyable. i had several people express that the miniboss fight felt rewarding because they were able to watch themselves get better at it. that feeling is exactly what i’m going for in terms of difficulty, because it’s one of my favorite feelings to have: knowing that it’s not any special levelling or number getting me through the fight, it’s just me and my skill.

though it’s really exciting to read about the aspects people enjoyed, i got a lot of insight from those that found this too easy or difficult as well. one person who found the fight too difficult suggested a small wait (”a breath or two”, they said!) between attack patterns, as they were getting very quickly overwhelmed. (i think this is a great idea!) i had another person who found the fight a little too easy in every category, and mentioned that they were able to complete the entire fight without using the player dodge mechanic at all. this is interesting to me because a lot of the people who seemed to struggle with the combat struggled with using the dodge mechanic specifically. actually, this is a pretty good segue…

player:

testers were rating the relative strength/weakness of each category offered here as opposed to “difficulty”. though, it’s sort of the same thing in this case…

anyway, as you can see, the dodge was pretty divisive.

i believe there’s multiple issues here that are compounding each other. the first is the dodge animation: it was very quickly drawn and i don’t think it gives anything in the way of juice or satisfaction to use. it’s also not even really an animation, i just change the player sprite to a static image depending on what direction they’re facing. because of this, there isn’t a clear “beginning of dodge → end of dodge” visual progression, so i think players get confused on when they’re actually invulnerable.

the second issue is the timed length of the dodge itself. playtesters only got 15 frames (or a quarter of a second) of invulnerability, which is just really difficult to consistently execute. this is especially affected by another issue about the player i had several people point out: the player hitbox was much taller than it was wide, so dodging attacks that were coming at you vertically became especially hard to pull off.

rest assured, playtesters, i have heard your cries! i have already changed the length of the dodge to 22 frames (a little more than a third of a second) and squashed the player hitbox significantly shorter. a full dodge animation is on the list of things to draw as well—hopefully these changes will help.

so it was less of a “work on actual game content” month and more of a “pace back and forth across my apartment thinking very hard about survey results” month. i’m glad it went this way though! it gave my hand some time to heal and gave me a lot to think about. i’m excited to tackle september. i don’t think i’ll do another playtest for at least a few more months, though… it was a lot of work to set up…

as a final note, in two months project cm will be one year in development… i’m thinking i will reveal the name of the game at that point. it could be nice to know what “cm” stands for…

that’s all for the august log. see you in a month!

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

I'm aware that we might not have this info yet but is Ayamado a random surname that Rei chose or does it have a specific meaning to him, eg) his Wife's maiden name or something. I know that it's a near anagram of Yamada and it seems like a Rei thing to mess with Ichiro and take such a similar surname but knowing him it probably also has something deeper going on. Just wanted to know your thoughts on it

I haven't listened to any of the latest content from the past month, so if there was an update in the most recent drama track, I am not aware of it. Prior to that, no, we do not know why he chose that particular surname. Of the name itself, 天谷奴, the first kanji is evocative of a feeling of being the origin of something or being something celestial, perhaps referencing his role as the prime mover of the series. The middle kanji doesn't have much significance, as far as I can tell, apart from being commonly combined with 天 to make names. The last kanji is more or less like "some guy," which fits Rei pretty aptly. Like yeah, he's just some guy. He's some dude. Random-ass old man. Hahaha. Well, beyond that, I've got nothing.

[near-seth-experience]

Personal vents, dont mind me. I'm really going through it, and tbh I just need to lay everything out on the table. I think it kinda helps me process/ look at the full picture.

Lately, I've been feeling like the people I call my friends don't really give a shit about me. Every time I try to vent in one of our discords, I feel like I get brushed off (kind of like that, "Oh no! Anyway..." meme, tbh), and it's been ongoing for a long time, so I've stopped bothering unless something really gets to me. Recently though I've made it known that I'm struggling pretty badly, ive gone radio-silent and have been isolating, and next to no effort has been made to check on me over the course of the past 2 weeks. The closest thing I have gotten in acknowledgment was a gif or two sent in consolation.

On top of that. Only one person remembered my birthday and sent a message (kind of a bummer considering I keep track of all of theirs and have given gifts to them all over the past two years). The amounts of times I check on them and support them is severely disproportionate to their reciprocation, and I'm really beginning to feel like I'd be better off alone.

a friend-of-a-friend who makes me uncomfortable for multiple reasons was brought into a shared space and now it feels I'm being replaced by them.

I've been unemployed for over a year,

I haven't been on antidepressants or my arthritis medication in over a year,

I can't get a full night's sleep, I struggle to stand up/sit down, and it's even been a challenge lately to pull off a shirt or step my second leg into a pair of pants. My mobility is the worst it's ever been.

My psoriasis is completely out of control, both in terms of surface area and levels of inflammation. I'm constantly scratching my patches and breaking skin, making myself bleed. Seriously, it's this bad:

a collections agency is apparently on my ass now trying to get $4k out of me because last year my specialty pharmacy apparently didn't get paid properly for my arthritis medication through their copay assistance program.

I interviewed for a job on 5/1, was told they'd keep me updated two weeks later, and it's been a month since that, so I'm anxious that this job ghosted me, which really sucks because it's something that I could have done confidently and now I feel hopeless since there doesn't really seem like there's anything in my area that I am physically able to do. (I need an office job with next to no experience required, preferably not customer/public-facing)

My left foot has been swollen since March and my rheumatologist has been hoping that getting me back on the arthritis medication would resolve the issue, but the state's shitty Medicaid isn't wanting to cover it, and the medication manufacturer's support program wants to know info about my family's income to determine my eligibility (but I'm 30... they don't need my family's pay-stubs. Fuck that) so I gotta put my foot down and tell my doc that I'm at my wits end and he just needs to try getting me a different medication because at this rate I'm not gonna get any relief til 2025 at the earliest.

I'm stuck living with Trumpy parents who go to a culty church, and I feel as though I can't speak my mind or refuse their expectations while I'm freeloading under their roof and eating their food.

I made a happy pride tweet earlier in the month that talked about how and why I identify certain ways on a Twitter that's under one of my other anonymous handles away from family, and my sister stalked me, found it, and told me as much. (She's the least bigoted which is a silver lining but I don't share those personal details to family for a reason, so it felt like a huge breach or privacy, and i havent tweeted in two weeks because i dont know if i should block her, change the @, or remake the twitter all together. But it's tied to other stuff... so it's as if it's just... contaminated, i guess?)

I turned 30 and I'm still in the "years without relationship = years alive" crowd so this year's birthday was just another big wave of loneliness and feeling pathetic.

[doctorqueue]

Masterpost :]!!!

Name: Queue/Que

Age: Young adult

Pronouns: She/her

Other: 🦋♾️ [Audhd’er my friends 😎]

Hi! My names Doctorqueue, but y’all can call me Que or Queue! I’m an illustrator (not professionally LOL), and have been drawing fanart pretty much my entire life. I have ocs too but I’m not sure if I’ll post them here or not~.

My most recent special interest has been Rottmnt/TMNT! (Go to Insta for The Bad Batch stuff :3). I have few au’s I’ve come up with, can’t promise I’ll make stuff for all of them I’ve set up tags n stuff for the one I’m most confident I’ll continue :).

My stuff:

#my art

#coloured - any of my art with colour

#my wips - I have a strong track record of abandoning these so beware lol 

#full render - my art that is fully lined and shaded 

#queueocs - my ocs eheh

#my refs - references, guides and tutorials I’ve made

#not charas nor turtles - all art that includes/is not things that aren’t my ocs or tmnt

#my other - not art stuff or references, can be of anything

#my fan fanart - Fanart of other people’s aus/designs/fanfictions/sonas/ocs etc

#Queue fanart - Any fanart people may make of any of my stuff! Whether it be aus, designs, sonas, ocs etc. (I don’t see it happening but if it does I won’t remember what I wanted the tag to be eheheh)

Au tag:

[Babysitters Turtle Club]

Main Tag: #TmntBSTCau

Fandom specific tags and more info about my au below cut!

Info about au!!

[Babysitters Turtle Club]

Summary: 

Takes place in the ‘87 Universe in 1997, 6yrs after the show is finished (may be inaccurate to canon! Haven’t finished ‘87 yet). Both the Rise boys and ‘12 Boys come from 2009 in their respective universes. The Rise and ‘12 Kids are together for about a week b4 they are found by the ‘87’ Turtles, that week actually being spent in the 2012 universe. Lil Donnie was nearly finished on a device to communicate with Rise Splinter, before he and the rest of the kids ended up in the 1987 world. ‘12 Splinter gets it to work and keeps in contact with Rise Splinter, they’re worried sick but seen as the Rise boys where sent straight to ‘12 Splinter they are hoping that something similar happened with both of their kids. I want them to not know what’s going on at first but I also don’t want this au to be too angsty, hence the Splinters being able to communicate pretty much straight away. 1 1/2 months in The Donnie’s have found a way to commincate with the other Splinters! though they can’t send the kids back until some science-y thing is stable, which will be in 2 months. The whole thing lasts about 3 1/2 months. I think the 2012 Kraang will be responsible, which is why little 12yr old Donnie could make a communication device to the rise universe so quickly but 1987 Donnie couldn’t.

Character info:

(1987 Boys)

‘Leonardo’ 26yrs old

‘Donatello’ 25yrs old (SLIGHTLY older)

‘Rapheal’ 25yrs old (SLIGHTLY younger)

‘Michelangelo’ 24yrs old

‘87 Brains&Brawn are twins in anything I draw them in btw

(2012 boys)

‘Leo’ 12yrs old (oldest)

‘Raph’ 12yrs old (second oldest)

‘Donnie’ 12yrs old (second youngest)

‘Mikey’ 12yrs old (youngest)

(Rise Boys)

‘Red’ 6yrs old

‘Blue’ 5yrs old

‘Purple’ 5yrs old

‘Orange’ 4yrs old

I thiiiink I’m leaning towards Leo being the older twin, but they wouldn’t find out until Donnie double checks their ages with ✨science✨ when they’re a little older. So it isn’t super relevant to this au.

Additional tags: #Papaphael (I have a soft spot for little Purple and Dad Rapheal, I’m p sure the ‘hc all ur fav characters as being autistic’ compulsion is def rubbing off on ‘87 Raph hsfsbjsbheb)

Fandom specific tags!!

#tmnt

#turtleverse

#turtle tots

#tmnt mm

#rottmnt

#tmnt 2019

#tmnt Bayverse

#tmnt 2k12 

#tmnt 2007

#tmnt 2003

#tmnt 1987

#rottmnt Apocalypse Future - All my Apocalypse timeline stuff 

Character tags

#leo

#mikey

#raph

#donnie

#Splinter

#April O’Neil

#Casey Jones

#Casey Jones Jr

#Cassandra Jones

#Irma

#Karai

#Lou Jitsu

#Hamato Yoshi

#Oroku Saki

#Big Mama

#Baron Draxum

#Senor Hueso

#Hueso Jr

#Shredder

#Krang

#Venus de milo

#Assistant - Big Mama’s assistant

#Mona Lisa

#Buffy Shellhammer

#Lotus Blossom

For me [scuffed reblog tagging system]

#03

#87

#12

#12 Future - Mutant Apocalypse timeline

#Mhem - Mutant Mayhem

#19 - Batman vs TMNT

#Bay - Bayverse

#07

#Fan Ver - A Character from a different Iteration applied to another that doesn’t canonically have them!

#Au

#Au Co - fan au crossover 

#Iter Co - official iteration crossover 

#Fan Iter - fan iteration 

#Future - Most future aus just go under this

#Pfuture - present future (F!turts in present timeline)

#Present

#Hooman

#Tots

#MScars - post-movie centered stuffs  

#Ndtorts - neurodivergent turtles, can just be psychoanalyzing stuffs it’s not actually only nd

#Save - would like to archive and see again 

#Nd - neurodivergent 

#MH - mental health 

#ref - reference for later

#reference - art/fandom references

#Fref - possible future references 

#Paint - paintings

#Ani - animations and animatics

#art - non-fandom art I like (may be fandom I’m not in)

#pro - speedpaints and art process stuff

Aesthetic n fashion stuff, based on my personal definitions/style mashups. except for decora that’s just itself completely.

#Strobe

#Warm

#Pastel

#Decora

#F Co - fandom crossover 

#Batch - TBB

#Ponies - MLP 

#Dragns - Httyd franchise

#Sek - Project Sekai

#Voca - Vocasynth (includes vocaloid)

#Spooders - Spiderverse

#Wars - Other Starwars (includes other Clones)

#StarB - Starbound

#Min - Minecraft

#Tribb - Star Trek

#Uber - Super4

#Leg - Lego

#Othr - anything else lol

[stories-from-my-eyes]

Day one of tracking down my biological mother

First, my name is Cameron George; though I was born under a different name (trans, hi nice to meet ya 👋) I turned 18 summer of this past year. Yes, that is my actual name. Yes I’m aware of just how sensitive the info is.

For familial context my dad had me with a woman named Amy. In a quick summary they were married and divorced before I had turned 6 months. I hear nothing but shit talk from my dad about Amy. And I hear rumors about how she was iffy as a person, but not awful by any means. I was adopted when I was 4 (just recently celebrated the 14th anniversary of the date with my mother!!!) by my Mother, who I have a rocky relationship with due to the fact I was an ASS of a teenager; but I’m repairing the relationship.

Mother and dad are divorced, dad remarried my stepmom, Kassi; Mother remarried a woman named Amber.

I came to my dad at about 4 this morning saying u was interested in finding Amy. He said he’d like to have more info than what he did but it was pretty much a solo mission since she kinda dropped of the fave of the earth like a lifetime ago, but he gave me some names to start with.

I firmly believe that she was just young and didn’t know how to raise a child (she was 16, my father was 18)

I know I’m the oldest of 5, I know the oldest of the younger 4 is less than a year younger. I haven’t decided if I want to wait until all of them are adults, they reach out to me first, or if I want to reach out at all. Amy doesn’t have custody of any of her children as far as I’m aware.

And I know she’s really, really, hard to fucking find

I’ve scoured Whitepages and Beenverified and all sorts of other websites looking for an up to date anything about the women. Every time I think I have a lead I find out it another woman with the same name, not the right info, not from the right area. I’ve seen at least 3-4 of the same woman with different last names. I know she’s changed it twice, but I have no idea what her current last name is.

HOWEVER, I was able to successfully hunt down Amy’s father (my maternal grandfather) Bruce. He’s in a down that about a 30 minute drive from where I am. I’m hoping to contact him (assuming he’s OK with it)

…I’ve also spent hard earned money on these sites and I’m less than proud to look at any of those bank statements…

Any area information is out of date since at least 2008 (so I would have been…2 at the time she last made any major public disappearance)

To this day I have a very fuzzy idea of what she looked like. I’ve been compared to her side of the family by my dad and grandmother for nearly a decade.

I don’t even know what my grandfather looks like either, dad says I’m “built the way Bruce (Amy’s father) was”

And before you say “well what if she doesn’t want to be found” true, but the worst that can happen is I give up and don’t find anything, or I get a clear sign she doesn’t want to meet me even as an adult. Still, I’m going to try.

[mayimkjs]

FOOL's MATE Update Post #3

Master Post　　Last Update

This has been a productive month production wise. I've also decided to add a school date to these posts so people know sorta where I am and how close I am to my docu class. Don't worry, these are vague enough that I won't get doxed. The master post has been updated to include this info.

School Date: Summer, Term 8, Week 5

The T2 Summery and Kazui's Birthday

I wouldn't say the T2 summery caused problems, but it caused a lot of work. I ended up looking more into the novel because of the end. I also shot up like, 15 slides the day it came out.

So, Kazui's birthday timeline was a thing. It's honestly sorta cute, but MIKOTO ADMITTED TO HAVING ISSUES! And he's finally talking to people. So that convo is now everywhere it needs to be. I'll probably have a separate post about that convo honestly.

Props & Shipping Frustrations

So Prime Day happened. I was able to get a lot of small props that will be placed around the set that represent the other prisoners. I'm currently waiting on the keyframe desk mat and keyframe MeMe poster. The Double pin set and the Double EP acrylic stand somehow shipped before them. MILGRAM CF was sorts a pain because the carrier changed at some point and I had no idea until it was already in Mass. Then I had to wait like, 2 weeks to open it because I had it shipped to my house, not school. Luckily I have PT almost every other week so I have to go home often.

Also, since I already had her, I decided a while ago to include my copy of Miku V2 in the set. That then evolved to including all of he VOCALOIDs that DECO's used except maybe galaco. I might eventually get galaco V6. I want to get the MEIKAs first cus I want to include them in the set because one of them is named Mikoto. I recently found a copy of Megpoid - Native, which I promptly snagged up. I was originally going to use one of her V3s cus I had all of them except her Native. Even though he's only used Luka and galaco once, I'm still including them.

Side note: If your interested, I'll be holding a V3 giveaway if the serial isn't dead because my new GUMI is in a starter pack and I already have 2 copies of the base V3 editor. > https://x.com/ametra_voca

The script books were sorta a headache because of the misprint. I decided to use From Japan to order them not knowing that Buyee allows you to request items from shops that they don't have listed on their massive list if you email them I believe. So I had to go back and forth with support, which was fairly easy but support them self's were a little confusing. Then when the replacement arrived at the warehouse, I was not notified and only learned that they had it by looking at my profile. They also reset the holding time so I didn't have to worry about them throwing away the books which was nice. So those have shipped and should be here this or next week.

The Intro & Music

I'm currently taking Motion Graphics 3 and our project for this class is to make a show intro. So I'll be making a prototype intro for FOOL's MATE. I'm also taking MIDI which is a 5 week class instead of the normal 10. So I'll also be using what I make in that class and improving it to use as parts of the soundtrack. In total, I've made 4 or 5 short loops that I'm planning on improving in probably Cubase. I'll probably upload them to Audiomack once they're done. I want to get used to using Cubase so I can use it and Studio One in tandem. Also Cubase is just more common then Studio Once in the west and knowing how to use it will make my life easier. I also made a track list and have started to gather royalty free music I can use. If you have any ideas for track names, please share!

Filming

The tarot interview is on hold for the time being. I'm probably going to rework the email and guest brief. But I just need a break from all that bull. I "scripted" out all of the timeline convos. I pretty much just threw them into Celtx and mostly formatted them correctly for a script. Each convo has the date at the top, character's name, sprite info and dialogue. I also finally made the set layout.

HQ Version of the Set Layout

I'm Looking to Start Getting Other People More Involved

This means volunteer and commission work. I am looking for some proof readers for the research doc to check spelling, grammar and make sure that things make sense and are correct. If you're interested in that, just DM me or fill out this form.

I'm also looking for artists to commission. See this post for more details. If your interested in helping with the music, you can reach out in the same means as the art commissions.

Storyboarding

Decided to do some storyboarding both on my own, and because I needed one for the MGFX project I talked about earlier.

Little know fact (I think), storyboarding isn't just for animation. They are used in every aspect of film/TV. And web development too I guess. So I've started making storyboards for the scripted scenes of FOOL's MATE.

Intro

So the start of the intro will be an IRL bit. This plays out right before the opening.

Then it will go into a very condensed version of the credits that will only contain production, story, character design, music and creation credits. This'll be sorta true crime inspired.

Full Intro Style Guide

Timeline

For the timeline, the layout and habits of the assets are going to be similar to the VD translation videos that people make. So I went through all of the convos I'll be using and made a list of what sprites I need. I'm thinking of commissioning my childhood best friend, LJ, to do the sprites. Her art's improved a lot since I've last seen it and I also just wanna reconnect with her and this is an excuse to do so.

Timeline Script　　Timeline Storyboard

Needed context for "microwave". I had no idea what to name it. I image that he's viciously vibrating here and the only thing that came to mind was "microwave".

Changes

Added

Last/Next Section Navigation

Info from the T2 Summary 

Sub-sections to MILGRAM Theories

Links Page

8/5/24 Timeline Info

Reformatted

“Table of Contents” 

“Precursor”

“Who are the people behind this?”

“Color Scheme Meanings”

Moved

Mikoto Knew That Something was Wrong > Mikoto Theories

The Kayano System and Es are more connected than we think. > Mikoto Theories

Jackalopes in Folklore > Who is Jackalope

The Origin of the Modern Jackalope > Who is Jackalope

Credits & Sources to its own document

Other

Removed “Personal Theories”

Relinked navs to “Table of Contents” 

Removed unneeded drop shadows

Reorganized beginning

Links

Research Doc (Comments on like always)

Milanote

Reddit Post

Feedback Form

Commission Form

[dont-strain-me]

An update, of sorts (9/21/2023)

Hello everyone (or just me, haha!) - it's been over two years since I've updated this blog. There have been a lot of personal updates in my life, my own struggle with body acceptance, and health struggles, and I thought it would be interesting to share those in the context of this blog.

When I started this blog, I had recently moved out of my dad's house and on my own with my primary partner. I was also starting to get regular check-ups at the doctor for the first time in about...10-15 years? And part of my motivation for starting the blog - aside from wanting to physically be skinnier - was also that I was advised by my doctor because my cholesterol and heart rates were elevated above normal. I also had major issues with vitamin D deficiency (like, catastrophically low vitamin D deficiency!), some iron deficiency, and general sluggishness. I have a pretty strong family history of heart disease, so it was important for me to handle these issues.

Cut to - making this blog, and tracking my progress! I would bore everyone with what is already here, but - having been overweight for some time now - I kind of knew that trying to consciously lose weight wasn't going to work, and I thought I could do it ""healthfully"" with making small changes.

That didn't really work - at some point, I realized I'd just be counting calories forever. And I didn't have a great workout routine either; I think I wasn't exercising enough to get either the weight loss or general health benefits of it.

So, cut to 2021 - I decide to make a conscious for myself to stop prioritizing weight loss and just feel comfortable in my skin

This was...really difficult. Difficult in a way I didn't expect. I had an issue where I was trying to order a pair of pants online and I felt this weird paranoid sense of shame when I had to keep returning the pants to get a bigger size. I consciously recognized that the company had a really kind of stupid sizing structure for their clothes, but subconsciously it felt like shaming me for being plus sized.

There is something about trying to just develop a sense of comfort and body neutrality that seems threatening to people, too. Telling people you're not actively losing weight - especially when you're a small fat like me - feels like a sin of the highest order.

--

Now, this lasted for a few years. In that time, I had started therapy, and was trying in general to get out and get moving (on my therapist's requests). My doctors were still advising I lose weight, but when I would ask for more concrete suggestions or plans, they would just tell me the same general info. Fine, I guess, I'll just try and go to the gym a big and see how that goes.

I was beginning to have some issues with my blood pressure. So bad, that one visit to the OB/GYN for an annual pap smear lead to me having to sit there for almost 30 minutes over the time I was supposed to leave because my blood pressure was almost dangerously high.

Then, Autumn of 2022 - I kept getting sick with the flu, or COVID, or something, on and off for months. On the second trip to the urgent care to try and get some antibiotics, the attending physician - who also happened to be an ER doctor - took my vitals and saw my blood pressure was high, and gave me an EKG. Sure enough, she told me I was having a "minor cardiac event" but would be fine, but I needed to see a cardiologist.

After the cardiologist visit, a lipid panel, an echocardiogram, and a stress test, they concluded that my cholesterol and blood pressure were elevated, but not enough to be medicated, and I should try and lose weight, exercise more, and eat less fat and sodium.

This was really challenging for me, at first. I had a serious medical need to lose weight and have to constantly monitor my food intake, but that was a stress I thought I was able to leave long behind.

But I got started, and I started doing two things that I think have made the biggest impact on my vitals since - I started organizing my workouts based on time rather than how much I was doing, and spacing out fast food meals and other greasy/salty meals that I would want.

I used the US's recommendation for how much exercise an adult should get in per week - 150 minutes of moderate exercise. It was really hard at first, but honestly, it is so much easier than I expected. I tell myself that I need to find absolutely any physical activity to on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays that get me to the 150 minutes per week (50 minutes each of those days). I'll double the time I have doing light work (like cleaning) so that it comes out to a more moderate exercise, but most of the time I find myself doing long, intentional walks around the neighborhood or at the gym, messing with the settings on the treadmill there to increase resistance. Sometimes I'll even go do weight machines, and keep track of the time actually doing an exercise with a stopwatch so I'm not counting excessive time sitting around as "working out"

Spacing out the rate at which I eat greasy and salty foods has helped a lot too. I have also started trying to do that with sugary sodas, too. I tend to have less cravings in general and am able to go much longer in between without feeling ravenous for it. Occasionally I have more than I should, but then I'm excited to bounce right back into healthy eating.

After doing all of this - honestly - I did begin noticing physical changes. I just felt "better" - I didn't feel so sluggish, and a lot of random aches and pains I would get around my body finally started to go away completely. I notice they come back when I'm too sedentary or eating too much salty or greasy foods, but then it becomes a good motivating factor for finding healthy food and maybe getting up and taking care of some cleaning around the house and doing a few stretches. Feeling this good really makes a big difference on my mental health, too.

---

This is all to say, as recently as yesterday I discovered my LDL cholesterol is now only 4 points above normal (as opposed to like 40 points) and my blood pressure was at 116/70, at a normal range! My vitamin D is not dangerously deficient anymore, but I still need to take the supplements, and I am not longer deficient in iron.

And if you can believe it - on top of all of this - I have no lost any weight. In fact, I've gained about 5 lbs.

Knowing the years of hearing my doctors mention weight loss, I brought this up. I mentioned that I try and get 150 minutes of exercise in per week, and my doctor looked at me and said that my weight is stable, and that I shouldn't worry about separate weight loss right now because my body composition - as long as I continue this frequent exercise in the long term - will start to follow suit. I couldn't even believe it.

I wanted to end on this note, because I think it really proved for me that I can be healthy without having to starve myself, or feel like I needed to track everything I took into my body. It really can just be as easy as eating as healthfully as possible, have a treat when you need it, and keep yourself moving as much as possible, in any way that would be fun and fulfilling for you.

[gets-eeby-deebied]

late to this but, as someone who more recently discovered a lot of MCR's lesser known music and unreleased songs (which their version of Jack The Ripper is actually a cover but is still really good), i've compiled a list of “rare” songs i found that i think every MCR fan should get to enjoy (feel free to skip the long explanations for each one, i just felt like info dumping about it). list with links to each song under the cut :)

Lesser Known MCR Music and Unreleased Tracks:

The Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP - was included in the "California 2019" box set for the Danger Days album and wasn't available on streaming services until recently, meant to be an album written by Mad Gear in the universe of Danger Days

Zero Percent - a scrapped song for Danger Days, was re-included as a pre-gap track on standard versions of the album, a bonus track on the Japanese deluxe version, and a B-side for the UK single version of "Na Na Na". pretty sure this one isn't available on streaming sevices (pretty sure it's not on apple music which is what i use, feel free to correct me if i'm wrong about other services tho)

The Drugs - unreleased song originally written for Conventional Weapons but was scrapped along with 11 other unreleased songs, was played in concert once back in 2009. they never released the studio version so only the 2009 concert recordings are available.

Sister to Sleep - scrapped song for Three Cheers that has only been played in concert twice, once in June 2003 and another time back in October 2022. both live recordings of this aren't great so i've liked really good studio cover of it instead (it kinda sounds like MCR slightly to the left). according to the band there was a studio demo of this song but none of them know where the 6 copies of it are. Matt Pelissier did leak a couple short clips of it at one point but had to take them down soon after so presumably he does have a copy but can't release it for legal reasons.

Someone Out There Loves You - originally played at a concert of just 200 people in October 2007 where Gerard refused to give the name of the song (you can see him talking about it at the end of the video i linked, it's pretty funny lol), the professional recording (from the concert, not a studio version) of the song was later released as "Untitled [Live in Hoboken, NJ]" as part of "The Black Parade Is Dead!". for a while this song was unofficially called "Stay" by fans until Gerard revealed the name in a tweet back in 2013.

Honorable Mentions:

Television All The Time - this is for anyone that likes Gerard's solo album Hesitant Alien, was added as a bonus track for Japanese versions of the album but isn't available on other versions as far as i know

Songs from The Black Parade/Living with Ghosts (10th Anniversary Edition) - these one might be a bit more well known but not as many people talk about it so here: ⁜ The Five of Us Are Dying (Rough Mix) ⁜ Party at the End of the World (Live Demo) ⁜ Not That Kind of Girl (Live Demo) ⁜ Emily (Rough Mix) ⁜ All the Angels (Live Demo)

Bury Me In Black (Demo Version) - this one is also probably pretty well known but it took me a while to hear about it after i became a fan back in 2019 so i'm adding it for any newer fans who may come across this post

and thats all i got for now, lets hope they release more demos and also new stuff in the future. i only became a fan of MCR in like 2019 before they announced their reunion (which before they announced it i was sad that i'd never get to experience them live, 18 year old me would be so jealous that i got to see them last august and literally got proposed to by my partner in the middle of the mosh pit during Teenagers lmao), i literally avoided listening to them for years before that and for what? they're now my all time favorite brand and i've been hyperfixating on the history of the band and their music for months now lmao

hey to all the people whomst lost their shit over mcr playing B side album songs this past tour;

get on youtube and search "my chemical romance jack the ripper"

I know you Fandom monsters haven't found it yet because the videos referring to this song have less than a quadrillion views.

go crash that shit, if you know what's good for you.

[halliescomut]

Love in the Air Episode 8 thoughts

Okay y'all. This is probably going to be a long one, but I wanted to put up a more detailed breakdown of my thoughts about episode 8. I typed all of this in Word first, so that I could try and make it as organized as possible, but my thoughts tend do skew toward rambly-ness (you've probably noticed). This post is about 1900 words, so I also understand if you don't feel like reading all of it.

So I don’t know what would be easier, in terms of structure for this?  But, I’ve decided on character by character. So I’m going to start with Sky, as he’s the one we kind of have the most insight to so far, since we have a good amount of interaction with him through Rain’s story in the first half of the season.  For clarity, I have not read the novels, so any info I have on those is based around other posts on the internets.  I will also say that my thoughts come from where I am, and are based around my own experiences, so of course I can be reading things differently than other viewers.  Also, a lot of what I talk about are things that are subtextual (could be deliberate or not), so they are far more subjective.

When we meet Sky at the beginning of the season, he’s fairly reserved, shy-seeming, but he’s not a push over. With the friendship between him and Rain, Rain is the more vocal one, slightly less mature than Sky, and because it suits him Sky just leaves Rain to pull focus.  Rain is also more combative, whereas Sky seems to have a peacemaker personality (you see evidence of this during the club fight in the episode). Based around fan discussion of the series over the last several weeks, but this can be observed just in the trailer for the show, you learn that Sky is a survivor of SA.  This could certainly be a reason for his preference to stay out of any drama.  He also shows himself to be very sarcastic, even snarky.  He also doesn’t put up with Rain’s bullshit much more than Payu does.  We don’t have a clear sense of a timeline, but I gather that Sky’s assault is fairly recent, with-in the last few months.  This means that he still very early on in any type of emotional or psychological recovery, and it would track with intimate partner violence for him not to be seeking professional help with this recovery.  I think, based on his reactions to Prapai’s proposition, that Sky has a negative self-image, brought about by someone who was supposed to care for him betraying his trust and dehumanizing him to gain physical pleasure.  He’s just been presented with this sort of confirmation that his value is based around him being a sexual partner, not based around his personhood.

I also think that Sky is meant to be a bit of the other side of Rain’s coin.  In the beginning, Rain is innocent, and also believes he is straight, so he’s learning a lot about his sexuality and by the end of his and Payu’s story is a lot more comfortable and assertive as a sexual partner.  Sky is clearly out to some extent prior to where the show starts.  He was openly dating another man, I think based around his comfortability with sex during the one-night stand, he was comfortable with and enjoyed sex prior to his trauma.  I also think Sky, for all his pragmatism is a bit of a romantic. His willingness to do what he can as Rain’s wingman, and his pretty consistent encouragement of Rain and Payu, is where I get that feeling.  We may get more confirmation of that later in the series, or not, who knows.

Now onto Prapai and Sky’s first meeting- Based on the acting and body language.  Sky see’s Prapai, they make full eye contact sort of across the street.  This moment of eye contact clearly reads to me as love at first sight, for both sides. Now relevance or realism aside, Rain and Payu are also a love at first site couple, and so I don’t think this is an off the wall read of the way this is presented in the show. Then the security sees him, and he tries to leave, gets caught, and Prapai intervenes (one could argue rescues), and they go behind the bus/van things.  During the beginning of their conversation, there’s very sustained eye contact (which does not indicate fear). Then we get the proposition.  Now Sky is here, a place his dirtbag ex knows of/possibly frequents, now this new guy that he finds physically attractive wants sex but doesn’t even ask his name.  Sky jumping to the conclusion that this is just one more asshole, is not much of a leap, especially when Sky is aware these are illegal races and such.  Prapai goes to touch his face, and Sky stops him, rolling his eyes, and you can just hear him thinking of course, not a nice guy, but just another asshole who wants sex.  They lock eyes again, Prapai says ‘time’s running out, tick tock’ and Sky closes his eyes, sighs, and grabs Prapai’s collar and tells him to ‘take it’.  That last sentence happens in all of maybe 20 seconds, so there’s a lot going on here, but our brains work faster than we really know.  Here’s what I think is going on in Sky’s head: 1-This guy is hot, 2-He’s also an ass, clearly only interested in sex, 3-but I would like to have sex with him.  Then he does what a lot of trauma survivors do, he makes a destructive decision with decent certainty that he’s at least going to get temporary pleasure out of it.  Now…the ‘just take what you want’ that’s a heavy line, and I think it’s partly Sky putting Prapai in control so that he can sort of write off the decision he’s made.  I think it could also be read as a sort of test, which Prapai fails.  Now in my very first post about this, I said that I didn’t feel this was coercion, and I don’t.  I truly believe that Sky would have the balls to say fuck you to Prapai, whatever the consequences.  The issue is that he’s tempted by Prapai, and he’s not emotionally ready for that temptation.

Once we move to the scene at Prapai’s apartment, that entire scene, Sky is an active participant, and regularly in a position of control.  These are unspoken cues of consent.  He’s clearly enjoying himself and I would kind of describe it as Sky using Prapai the way he assumes Prapai is using him.  There’s no affection, just attraction.  Sky also…goes back for seconds.  And when he leaves, and the adrenaline and serotonin are gone, we see him in the front of the building, and all of these emotions are hitting him.  He’s angry, but anger is a secondary emotion—it’s a response to other deeper emotions.  The cause for his anger is sadness and shame.  He’s ashamed for letting his baser instincts get the better of him, for giving another person the ability to hurt him, and he's sad because he feels dehumanized.  Sky is recovering from trauma based around him being used, and he now feels used by Prapai (unintentionally on Prapai's part, but that's not the point).

He goes home, he goes on with his life, he wants to forget, but he can’t, for I think a combination of reasons.  1- he’s still not dealing with the trauma from his ex, stuck in those negative thoughts about his own self-worth, 2-he was interested in Prapai before deciding he was an ass, 3- He did enjoy the sex, and if you like sex, and you’re not having any, it’s hard not to think about good sex.

Now let’s talk about Prapai.  I will be clear, that I have a bias for his type of character. I enjoy a reformed rogue, and that’s going to color my opinion, along with the fact that unlike Sky, we as the audience have a lot more information and context to Prapai’s personality.  I don’t believe Prapai was serious about handing Sky over to security, apparently in the novel this is more clearly expressed, but I will say that I also felt like he was joking on my first watch of the episode, before I saw the commentary about the book offering that additional context (EDIT: Here's a link to a post from lutawolf with excerpts from the book regarding their first interactions) .  He's also still a stranger to Sky, so it’s understandable that he would assume that he was serious, especially with Sky’s own biases and history.  I think Sky’s bravado in telling Prapai to ‘take what he wants’ leads Prapai to believe that Sky was down for stringless sex.  The conversation later between Prapai and his brother, along with his booty call, would indicate that Prapai is a regular participant in stringless sex.  And there’s nothing wrong with stringless sex, the issue here is that this assumption by Prapai in combination with Sky’s history leads to Prapai hurting Sky unintentionally.  This is one of the dangers of sex with someone you don’t really know. 

Once that night is over, Prapai’s still thinking about Sky, for the same reasons Sky’s still thinking about him (the love at first sight moment and the sex being very good).  As someone who’s never encountered this, he doesn’t know what to do.  During the conversation with Saifah, he realizes that he wants to know more about Sky, he’s intrigued by him.  Prapai is a guy who clearly has a great deal of drive, who grew up very privileged, and so it’s not surprising to see him pursue Sky the way he does.  There is entitlement there, I’m not arguing that, but that’s why it's good and important that Sky doesn’t just swoon for him.  Sky’s not falling for a charming mask; been there, done that, still processing that betrayal.  In order to win Sky over Prapai’s going to have to be very honest with him, because Sky struggles with trust (understandably).

I talked in a previous post about how Love in the Air is character-driven, not plot driven.  The point is the growth of the characters, both individually and as couples. Prapai is going to have to be honest and real with Sky in order to form any type of relationship with him.  As someone whose never really tried to create a true emotional connection with a romantic partner, that’s going to be where his growth is.  His affection for Sky is what’s going to get him there. For at least a couple episodes we’re going to see Sky regularly brushing off his advances, and if Prapai wasn’t so intrigued he would give up.  Prapai knows he can get it whenever he wants, he’s got the numbers in his phone.  He wouldn’t be focused on Sky if there wasn’t that kernel of emotional connection and affection already there.  Prapai also thrives on challenge, his racing is a clear allusion to this, and Sky is a challenge to him.  Sky’s journey is going to be recovery of his ability to trust a romantic partner and regaining/recognizing his self-worth.

I did want to mention that I’ve seen several mentions about Mame’s pretty consistent use of SA as a plot device. I’ve personally only seen TharnType and Love in the Air, I’ve not read anything or seen any other shows from them, but SA is a plot point in both.  I do agree that use of that type of trauma as a plot device, especially repeatedly can be very much an ick, and that’s reasonable.  For the character of Type and for Sky, the part of their story we’re seeing is their healing journey, and I do think that representation is important for other survivors.

[all-that-tmnt-jazz]

Valentine’s Day Challenge [7/14]

(I’m sorry this one’s a bit late- today’s been a weird day)

Warnings: None

Incarnation: Bayverse

Extra Info: Day 7 out of 14- half way through! None of the prompts/scenarios are related.

Posting: 3:30 PM Each Day (usually)

Prompt: The First Time They Introduce Their S/O to Their Brothers and Father

Leo:

He was pacing the rooftop just outside of the Lair

You were just sitting on the ledge, watching him

You’ve never seen him so nervous

“Leo, it’s going to be fine.”

“I know, but I’m just…”

He struggled to admit what he was feeling

But he didn’t have to pretend when he was around you

“I’m scared.”

Your expression filled with compassion

You stood up and approached him, grabbing his arms to stop his pacing

“What are you scared of? Based on what you’ve told me, everything will go according to plan.”

“Well, Raph and Mikey don’t always go according to plan.”

“True, but that’s part of the plan, is it not?”

Leo chuckled slightly

He grabbed your waist and pulled you to him

He kissed you gently

You smiled against his lips

“Ready?” you asked when you pulled apart

“I guess I have to be.”

With that, he picked you up and jumped into the manhole cover

You two walked through the line, hand-in-hand

You could tell he was still nervous- he was squeezing your hand a little tighter than normal

After a bit more walking, you saw the entrance to the Lair

You heard his brothers joking around, and you smiled

You looked up at Leo and squeezed his hand a little bit

He looked at you

He nodded

You walked into the Lair

You weren’t surprised to see that Donnie and Mikey were teaming up against Raph in an intense game of- what looked like- tag.

“Hey, Leo! Hey new person!” Mikey called as he raced by

“Hey there!” Donnie added as he raced by in the opposite direction

“Wassup?” Raph asked, trying to decide which brother to chase after

(he ultimately chose Donnie)

You laughed

“I’m Y/n, Leo’s partner.”

Mikey immediately tripped and fell, but shot back to his feet

Donnie stopped in his tracks and Raph nearly ran into him

All three looked at you

“You’re the name he whispers when he sleeps?” Raph asked, 100% deadpan

Mikey and Donnie laughed

You did, too

You took a step forward

“I mean, it’s not the only time he whispers my name.”

Raph’s jaw dropped

Donnie and Mikey looked at each other then back at you, laughing in shock

“Y’know, I like you.”

“Good, or else we’d have a problem,” you responded.

Leo was standing behind you, flustered beyond belief

You looked back at him with a coy smile

That smile immediately left when you heard a new voice

“Y/n, a pleasure to welcome you,” Splinter said

You looked at Splinter, eyes wide

“Um, a pleasure indeed,” you responded.

He chuckled

“Leonardo talks highly of you.”

“As he does about you,” you responded. “I wish everyone had a father as caring as you.”

He smiled warmly at you.

You looked back at Leo, who was now holding in a fit of laughter

This couldn’t have been more entertaining

Raph:

You were more nervous than ever

I mean, meeting your boyfriend’s family is scary in any situation, so

But you couldn’t help but be nervous as Raph led you down to the Lair

He couldn’t have been calmer, which was a rather unnerving sight

(given his usually angry personality)

When you got there, Mikey was on the couch playing video games- and it was very evident he had just lost his last round

He looked at you and Raph and perked up

“Hey, Raph! Hi person- who is you?”

“I’m Y/n, Raph’s partner.”

Mikey’s eyes widened

He scrambled off the couch and then ran to you, trapping you in a hug

“Welcome, Small Person!” he says

You laugh

Mikey lets go then runs away, calling for Leo and Donnie

Soon, Leo and Donnie come out into the main area

“Hey…” you say nervously

Raph is watching you, entertained

Donnie waves and smiles

“Hey, Y/n,” Donnie says

“Hey,” you respond

Leo comes over and offers you a hand

“Welcome, Y/n,” Leo says

You take his hand and shake it

“Thanks.”

A moment later, Splinter comes out of the dojo

“Good evening. You must be the one Raphael keeps talking about?”

You smile and look at your boyfriend, who is now flustered

You look back at Splinter

“All good things, I hope?”

“All good things,” Splinter smiles

You really shouldn’t have been nervous

Donnie:

You actually met them on accident

You were in need of a new laptop battery before a big interview 

Your laptop decided today was the day to break

So, you rushed into the Lair and came face-to-face with Leo and Raph’s most recent argument

“Hey, sorry to slice through the tension, but where’s Donnie?”

“Sorry- who are you?” Leo asked

“Not important, where’s Donnie?”

“He’s in his lab!” Mikey called from the kitchen

“Mikey!”

“Where’s his lab?” you called back to Mikey.

Mikey popped his head out and pointed you in the right direction

“Thanks- I owe you one.”

“No problem!”

You burst into the lab, and- fortunately- got the new battery just in time to participate in your interview from there

An hour later, once that was done, you closed your laptop and exhaled deeply

“It went well, I hope?” Donnie asked, bringing you a mug of tea

“It went perfectly. Thanks for the battery- I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

You accepted the mug and took a sip

“No problem,” he smiled

He kissed the top of your head

“Want to go meet my brothers properly?”

You chuckle dryly

“Sure- I owe them an explanation. Can I meet your dad while I’m at it?”

“I don’t see why not.”

When you went back out to the main room, his brothers were all standing in a line

Raph and Leo looked rather serious, while Mikey merely tried to be

Splinter was with them

“Um, this is Y/n,” Donnie said, rather sheepishly. “We’ve been dating for a couple of months now- I wanted to tell you, I just…”

Donnie looked to his feet

“How is it that you got a partner before me?” Mikey asked

The mood was immediately lightened

“Because he’s not a nitwit,” Raph muttered

You chuckled

“Well, we welcome you with open arms, Y/n. I trust Donatello’s judgement,” Splinter said

You smiled, then looked up at Donnie

He looked right back, glad his family was accepting

Mikey:

He would not stop talking about you for literal months after you two started dating

You were surprised his brothers lasted that long, hearing him talk

But then, Raph broke 

“Dude, bring them over here already! We need to know who this person is for ourselves.”

So, that’s what led you to be swept off your feet

You were brought around the city and then to a pier of a bridge that went over the Hudson

Once you arrived, he grabbed you and spun you around

By the time he put you down, you were in a fit of giggles

He led you into the rest of the Lair, where his brothers were already waiting

All eyes were on you the moment you stepped into their line of vision

“Don’t get too excited,” you said, noticing that time seemed to freeze

Donnie snorted

“I can’t believe you weren’t lying, Mike,” Raph muttered

“What do you think I am, a robot?” you ask sarcastically

“No, I just… Mikey?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want an asshole like you.”

“Oh, I’m the asshole?”

You giggle

“Y’know, I thought Mike was the jokester, but you’re sounding pretty funny yourself.”

The brothers are all in shocked silence

Even Raph, who is stuttering over a retort

“Big baby can’t even find a response. Aww.”

You pretend to pout

Raph throws his hands up in surrender

“Alright- you win.”

You smirk

“It’s not every day that Raphael accepts defeat,” Splinter chuckles, coming from the dojo

You look at him and shrug

“It’s not every day he meets someone like me.”

All Mikey can do is look along proudly, so glad he can date someone as spunky as you

[potteresque-ire]

Hello! I have a question related to your answer for your previous anon's question (WQ and WWX backup plan).

So the book fans knew about the backup plan and the actress who played W/Q got cyberbullied. I wanna ask why did that happened (sry if this is a dumb question), because even though she's the one who's playing W/Q, wasn't she just went with the script? I mean she wasn't the one who get to decide wether to film a backup or not.

I can understand the displeasure of the book fans, but is it 'normal' (I can't find the right word for it, English isn't my first language, sry) to get to the point where she was bullied for that? Is there any similar incidents occured to other actor(s)/actress(es) in the past because of the change of script/story?

Hello Anons! I apologise for the especially long wait for one of you. I was debating for a while whether I’d like to get into the old rumours surrounding The Untamed that weren’t immediately related to the genre of its source material. 

I’m not really a follower of the finer details of c-ent—my interest in it wanes rapidly with the subject’s distance from Gg, Dd and BL/Dangai as a genre. I’m also a very late comer into the BJYX fandom, and I’m never quite in The Untamed fandom to begin with. 

The more important reason, however, is this: it’s very difficult to pull out facts. There are just so many rumours, so many lies told about … everything and everyone. All for the sake of profit.

So this is likely the last time I’ll address rumours concerning the actors of the show. I’m answering these asks as you two reached me before I make this statement.

First of all, I’d like to kindly ask everyone to please consider disregarding the negative things said about The Untamed’s development and its participants. The series is about to reach its 2 years old birthday by airing date, and 3 years old by its start-of-filming date. Many things ... don’t really matter anymore. The Untamed has become an international success, and whatever was told about anyone has very likely changed.

(People change.)

To answer these asks, it’s important to understand that despite being a Communist country by name, China is at heart a highly capitalistic society, and money REALLY talks in the major industries including c-ent. Corruption is also rampant and is often associated with families with political power; anti-corruption laws are inconsistently and selectively enforced. Both the acts of corruption and the acts against corruption are therefore intimately tied to politics and related to politics, something that I haven’t talked about largely because it’s highly complex and my knowledge of it is limited — the infighting between the different factions of the Chinese Communist Party. Supporters and beneficiaries of one leader—a faction—competing for power, for money and resources with the supporters and beneficiaries of another, often equally powerful leader.

The main point of mentioning Chinese factional politics here is this: what seems to be a regular business war in c-ent, a simple competition for viewership and profit by different media companies, can actually be a battlefront of top political factions fighting for power, or more accurately, for the money that comes from with the power—not only the profit, but the bribes paid to different departments to make things happen, to bypass different laws and regulations. 

Facts about the cash flow in c-ent are therefore very difficult to track down, as both the powers-that-be and the media they control make sure the political ties and conflicts, the under-the-table negotiations and the money changing hands, are kept well away from the public eye. Example: c-ent used to be an even more lucrative industry than it is now, before President Xi began an anti-corruption campaign around 2018. There have been whispers that while corruption was indeed a major issue in the industry, the campaign was also a ploy to funnel c-ent’s profit, a significant fraction of which was once held in the hands of the Jiang faction (supporters of former President Jiang Zemin), into the hands of Xi faction (supporters of President Xi). (Here’s a good article about the once top actress Fan Bing Bing, who was made an example in the anti-corruption campaign, and how the campaign affected the people who actually worked in the industry). 

What this also means is this: c-ent is an industry where rumours and lies can REALLY thrive, their spread propagated by powerful commercial interests that are often (secretly) backed by even more powerful government interests. These are people who can afford to pay, who often have the right connections to not have to worry about the legal consequences. 

With these two factors alone, they can make almost any rumour sound true. 

I’ve looked more closely into c-ent in the recent months, and as of today, the lesson I’ve learned is this—I can’t believe in almost any of its so-called “entertainment news”. For every article that sells a viewpoint, a set of facts, there’s another one that sells exactly the opposite, and the pair of articles happily sit beside each other, waiting for their readers to pick the one they wish to read—the one praising the show and actors they like; the one dissing the shows and actors they don’t. 

Yxh, water armies...c-ent is an industry where “facts” are often constructed by money.

Entertainers are often swept into the whirlpool of falsehoods just because they happen to work on a project / for a company another side or faction wants to take down. With the exception of a very few, they don’t have much of a way to defend themselves. There have also been longstanding whispers that beautiful actors and actresses are often forced to … service, for lack of a better word, the higher-ups in the government / commercial forces (and their families) in exchange for opportunities or even survival in the industry. While such “unspoken rule” (潛規則) is, to a certain extent, true in many entertainment industries around the world, that the higher-ups in China hold very concentrated power makes it much more difficult for the entertainers to refuse to cooperate, or ask for help.

That entertainers are traditionally held in very low regard—their “career ancestors”, 戲子 (roughly, “showperson”), being one of the “lowest 9 professions” (下九流) that included prostitutes—doesn’t help their case.

Back to your questions, Anons: the consequence of c-ent money flow often being hush-hush and potentially politically sensitive is that, when a production team receives money, it doesn’t always try to look very hard at where the money comes from. Because of this, it’s easy for Yxh and Antis to make up rumours about participants of a project bringing in cash in exchange for making themselves more at the centre of the spotlight—increase the screen time for an actor / actress, for example. And when it’s pointed out that a starlet, in particular, cannot possibly have that kind of money to bring into a project, the rumour mill can conveniently explain away this lapse in logic by implying that the starlet is sleeping with someone.

This was essentially what happened to the actress who played WQ, despite her denying the rumour with a public statement and no evidences existed to suggest any truth in the rumour — that she‘d brought in money into The Untamed’s production team in exchange for a romantic plot w/ WWX as the female lead. She wasn’t paired with WWX in final version of The Untamed; WQ died pretty early on in the show. Nonetheless, the rumour (and the poor reputation it brought) has stuck with her since. It can still be found on the internet.

About the actor who played Wen Ning… I haven’t really paid much attention to him (sorry!). A quick search online shows that at some point, he said something that was interpreted to be not as friendly towards Gg, compared to how much he seemed to like Dd. After 227, however, he spoke out for Gg and personally, I think that’s what really counts because anyone who spoke out for Gg at the time also risked being harassed and boycotted. I don’t know of any successful effort in creating a popular cp between him and Dd. Since all that is required to create a supertopic on Weibo, including a cp supertopic, is sufficient seed membership (10 people) plus a moderator with demonstrated familiarity and popularity in the platform, however, is it possible that this cp, if it existed at some point, was simply because some fans wanted to explore this rare pair? I don’t know (if anyone would like to jump in with more info, please do!). But I think it doesn’t have to translate into judgement of the actor’s character at all.