#the thunder legion got done SO dirty

[selfawarecobalt]

the day i am forced to bear witness to the gray vs thunder legion fight from 100yq is the day i break into hiro mashima’s house and eat him

[lisannastraussisanangel]

I think Freed should long have been S-Class. Wasn't in his memories a panel of Erza appreciating his skill and stating she would talk to Makarov about it? He's got Erza's appreciation, he's fought Mira in her FULL RAGE modus and held up well (even took her down in hand-to-hand for a moment) and of course he has long had Laxus' appreciation and Laxus thinking he (and Ever and Bickslow) are very strong too. Seriously! He and his team mates should have gotten more solo fights and not be reduced to sidelines and done so dirty

I firmly believe that Freed should've gotten S-Class tbh. If he didn't throw, no one would've stood a chance. He straight up could've locked them all on that boat and would've only had to fight the ones smart enough to rewrite his enchantment. I mean idk what else would've happened but I can't imagine he's struggle all that much.

We really missed out on the Raijinshuu throwing down. I understand that they couldn't make them too strong but they were hyped up so much just to get thrown to the side. (Tho I've never read the Thunder Legion manga so maybe they had more fights? I hope?)

[mystoganisiconic]

helloo if you still have request open, could I request a Laxus NSFW one shot where the reader is super bratty and laxus has to make sure they behave in the guild?

Y/N’s pov:

“Laxuuuuusssss”, I whined, dragging the “u” and “s”. “Not right now babe I’m”, he said gently removing me from his arm. “You’re not busy, you’re just…talking to Freed”. “Yeah about work”. I sighed heavily as and idea popped in my head. I smirked and went over to where Team Natsu was. Gray and Natsu were sitting on one side, while Erza, Lucy and Wendy were sitting on the other side, Happy and Carla on the tables. (Let’s just consider Wendy a part of Team Natsu) I was a part of Team Natsu so it wasn’t weird that I went over to them. “Natsu there’s something on your vest”, I said, pushing the left side of his vest to the side and pulling it upward to show him. “Oh yeah, wait I’ll go wash it off”, he said and went to the bathroom. I sat where he sat but scooted towards Gray so he would still have his seat. Natsu came back completely shirtless, “What happened”, “Well my vest was wet so I thought my fire would help dry it, turns out it turned to ash. “HAH DUMBASS”, Gray said. “LOOKING FOR A FIGHT ICE PRINCESS”, “Do you both want to get a beating from me”, Erza said, causing them both to sit down. So here I was, sitting between two shirtless men. There little argument kept going on making everyone in the guild look at us. I saw Laxus frown when he saw me sitting between them. I decided to braid Gray’s hair, I always do that and he liked it so it was a win-win. “Feels so good”, Gray says, I smirked. I felt Laxus stare at me, after I was done I sighed getting up from my seat and walking towards the bar, where Laxus and the Thunder Legion were sitting. “Just a soda Mira”, I said to Mirajane.

She nodded and went inside the kitchen to get it. I completely ignored Laxus but I stood in a way that my ass was facing him. I decided to take things up a notch and went and sat down on his lap, I felt his boner, I kept on shifting to get “comfortable”. Laxus’ hands went around my waist as he held me down so I don’t move. I smirked and got up, Laxus looking at me confused, and sat down beside and Bickslow and Freed, getting a bit too close to Bickslow. “Y/N your drink”, Mira said, passing my drink to Laxus so he can pass it on to me. I glared at Ever trying to tell her about my situation, when she got it, she smirked and said “Well I think we should do the rest tomorrow”, “Yeah I’m tired”, said Bickslow. “Tomorrow it is” They all got up, Bickslow and Freed heading home while Ever goes and sits with Elfman. Laxus stayed there, “I know what you’re doing Y/N��, “yeah so”, “stop doing it”, “make me”. He got up from his seat, walked over to me and whispered “You’re such a brat, I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson”, with that he grabbed my waist and dragged my upstairs to the S-class floor, pinning me against the wall.

He roughly kissed me and moved down to my neck, leaving hickeys all over it, he found my sweet spot and kept abusing it while I let out moans. “Make another noise and you won’t be able to walk for the next entire month”, I let out a small whimper but obeyed him, trying to stop my moans. In a split second my clothes and his clothes were on the floor as he rammed straight into me causing me to let out a scream. “La-Laxus sl-slow dow-down”, “not happening”, he said. I bit my lip trying to stop myself from screaming, I bit so hard that I drew blood, “fuck you’re so tight”, I heard him say in a low voice. I clenched my walls around his member and he let out a small low grunt, “I’m close” I barely let out. “You’re not cumming until I tell you to” “P-please” “No”. Just as I was about to come he pulled out leaving me confused. “What the hell”, “that’s what you get for acting like a brat”, I frowned at him and whined “Laxus pleaseeeeeee”, “nope, you need to learn how to behave”, his clothes were already back on and I knew there was no way he’s gonna go back so I put my clothes on as well still mad at him and was about to go downstairs but I wasn’t able to walk. “shit”, he laughed softly at my actions before grabbing my hand and helping me down the stairs.

Let’s just say that you were screaming his name when you both went home, and you actually weren’t able to walk properly the next whole week

Lil bonus:

“Laxus, I’m close”, “Cum”. I went all over his mouth as he sucked my clit. “Good girl”. Before I could recover his member was already in me, doing wonders. I didn’t hold in my screams and moans. “say you’re a brat”, “I’m a brat”, “Say you’re a dirty little girl”, “I’m-m a d-irty litt-tle gi-girl”. “Good”. “Fas-ter”, his pace increased causing me to scream and tug at his hair also scratch his back. “I’m close”, “let it out”, I came all over him. “Good girl” he said smirking while I was still a moaning mess trying to catch my breath.

A/N: This is so bad, I’m so sorry, I legit think my writings getting worse everyday. THANKS FOR READING THOUGH STAY SAFE!

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Pick-Up Lines

Summary: Gajeel hits Reader with a pick-up line that’s just a little out of line causing Reader to slap him for being inappropriate. All is well in the end when Reader and Gajeel make a deal.

TW/CW: Gajeel Redfox x Reader. Dirty pick-up line. Reader slaps Gajeel. Angsty Gaj.

Requested?: No

Word Count: 1,315

A/N: I started this out with a happy, funny, path in mind but that path somehow managed to make a detour though Angstville. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Gajeel and Laxus tie for my favorite in Fairy Tail so I felt it was only fair to do an imagine for him too. This was prompted but I tweaked the prompt slightly. It’ll be in bold as usual. Anyways, requests are open and love to all!

Your POV

    As I enter the Guild Hall, I look around for a certain metal head and thankfully don’t see him. Thoughts of him invaded my brain the entire time I was gone on a job all because of his stupid pick-up lines that he constantly bombards me with. The weird thing is, if he’s not testing pick-up lines on me, then he’s picking on me and it annoys me to no end. Especially considering I have a massive crush on him. I take a seat at the bar and smile as Mira makes her way over, “Hello (Y/n)! What can I get ya?” I order a drink and soon after she hands it to me, my Thunder Legion teammates are calling me over to join them at one of the tables while they watch Natsu and Gray bicker at the one beside them.

    I sit down beside Evergreen with my back turned to the table like her as we laugh as Natsu and Gray hurl halfhearted insults at each other. Bickslow drops down onto the bench from his previous seat on the table and leans over to whisper in my ear, “Bet you’re sad he’s not here, huh?”

    I elbow him in the ribs, “Shut up, Bic. I’m not in the mood.”

    Ever giggles on my other side, “I’m sure he’ll turn up soon. He always does when (Y/n) is around.” Soon, for some reason, Natsu and Gray are challenging Droy and Jet to a pose off. Happy is flying above them to referee. At the other table, Levy and Lucy have their heads together reading a book and Juvia is drooling over Gray as per usual. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the Guild door open but don’t notice who comes in. Ever and I are talking about the job we just got back from when Panther Lily hops up on the table across from us to inquire about what the girls are reading. Butterflies swarm around my stomach as I realize who had entered the Guild moments before. I silently hope that he has other business to tend to and won’t talk to me.

    Just when I think my luck is good today, the table shifts a little bit and someone sits down behind me with one leg to either side of me and he pokes his head into view between me and Ever, “You know (Y/n), you’re so hot that my zipper is falling for you.” Ever gasps and several people around us giggle. I can feel a blush spread across my cheeks as I stand, slap Gajeel across the face, and then stomp over to the Request Board to find another job so I can get the hell out of here.  

    As my eyes roam the board, Lily steps up beside me, “I tried to tell him that pick-up line was no good but he won’t listen to me. A red handprint on the face on the other hand, now that’s a teacher you can’t ignore.”

    I sigh, “Did I overreact?”

    “Considering that line stepped across a certain line in the sand he seems to have been toeing lately, no. However, I do encourage you to give him a chance. He may be a complete idiot sometimes but he has a good heart that seems to be entirely in love with you. He simply does not know how to show it,” he responds, and I can feel him observing me, “And if I’m not mistaken you feel the same for him.” I hear Lily leave and drop my head to look at the floor. I probably shouldn’t have been so harsh on him, that line just threw me for a loop. I expected something but I didn’t expect it to be so dirty and loud, usually he just mumbles them so only I hear. I sigh and head back to the bar.

    I find that he also had the same idea as he’s seated on a stool with a bright red handprint on his cheek. Feeling guilty I lightly trace the print, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to slap you so hard.” He sets his glass back down on the bar and just as I’m about to pull my hand away he takes it in his and kisses my knuckles.  

    He returns back to his drink, letting my hand go, and stares at the wall ahead of him, “It’s okay, tiny. I crossed the line. I probably should’ve saved that one for if I actually manage to win you over one of these days.”

    I grab one of the barstools and place it closer to him so that when I hop onto it I can lay my head over on his shoulder. It’s quiet for a moment as thoughts bounce chaotically around in my head. Finally, I decide to say something, “I honestly thought you’d never feel the same way I do.”

    He glances down at me, “How could I not? Did you really think I wouldn’t fall in love with the way you always have your teammates’ backs or the way you kick ass every time you fight even if it looks like you’ll lose. You never give up or back down. There’s also the way you always act like everyone annoys the hell out of you but when it comes down to it you’re there whenever they need you as soon as they need you. Hell, I even fell in love with the way you look so adorable when you get angry. That’s why I always pick on you.”  

    He hesitates before continuing, “But I just managed to push you away. I always break things. I don’t even like myself sometimes so I don’t know why I thought you might be interested in me. You’re too good for me. You’ve always been good.” It’s now that I realize he’s beating himself up over his past. I turn my head and place my chin on his shoulder so that I can look at him. He’s staring down at the bar and I can tell he’s fighting back tears.  

    “It’s funny that the reasons you fell in love with me are the same reasons that made me love you. Gajeel you’ve always been one of my favorite people around here even if you do annoy me sometimes. I think there’s a lot that you still need to learn about me because my past isn’t as pristine as you and everyone else thinks it is,” I pause, trying to decide how to ask this, “Truth be told I’ve always admired the way you’ve redeemed yourself and I never thought I’d be good enough for you. So, if I think I’m not good enough for you and you think you’re not good enough for me, how about we say they cancel out?”

    He’s quiet for a few moments so I decide to try to ask this his way, “Gaj, I’m no photographer but I can definitely picture us together. This causes him to look over at me with a grin plastered on his face but I’m not done, “I like your shirt, it looks like it’s made out of boyfriend material.” He laughs now so I keep going, “Life without you is like a broken pencil, pointless.”

    Finally, he pops off with his own line, “We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.”

    It’s at this moment that Panther Lily hops onto the bar and makes his way over to us, “Is this your two’s way of asking to start a relationship?” Gajeel and I look at each other and then back at Lily and grin, nodding our heads.

    Lily rolls his eyes and wanders off as Gajeel turns his attention back to me, “This means your mine now, right tiny?”

    I giggle, “I’ll be yours as long as you’ll be mine.”

    He grins again, “Deal.”

Masterlist

Taglist:

[spookyspaghettisundae]

Beyond the Black Line

The more she strained against her bindings, the more the cable ties cut into her flesh, chafing, and scratching, and cutting. Blood filled her eyes and turned the world deep red.

Rage boiled in her heart. It spilled out, erupting from her throat as primal yelling and spittle that sprayed from her lips.

Kaos thrashed against the small folding steel chair she had been bound to. It clattered on the dirty concrete floor while she lurched forward and shook it and rattled the seat violently. Her muscles bulged. Veins popped on her neck.

The wet taste of iron filled her mouth, owed to clenching her teeth to the point of her gums oozing blood in between her screams of fury. The rage burnt her up from the inside. The pain seized her every limb and she spat out incoherent strings of foulest profanities.

The woman in a black leather biker's attire, Scorch, formed a stark contrast to her. A pillar of stoic calm, standing in front of Kaos in this dingy little cellar. Though the tiny window near the ceiling barely shed any light, the amber in Scorch's irises glowed like fire.

She stared at the young woman tied to the chair, not even blinking once, studying Kaos' every hateful movement, and absorbing her yelling and curses without ever flinching.

When Katie had died and become Kaos, it was Scorch that had brought her back from the dead.

Now, Kaos was dying. Scorch herself was killing her. The rest of her humanity was burning up inside. Soon, only human thought and emotion would remain. And from where she was sitting right now, the only emotion that remained?

Pure and unfettered fury.

It was not like any of this was against her will. Kaos had agreed to this.

Not that it made it a lick less unpleasant, though.

Soon to join the taste of blood, the thrashing, and the burning agony; a pool of inky-black darkness crept up from behind her. It enveloped her, encroaching from the edges of her vision. It threatened to drown her, even if its watery depths could never quite quell the fires of rage. Instead, an icy-cold sweat erupted from her pores.

Every growl and snarling curse that rang with a hollow echo came from her own throat. The more the darkness surrounded her, the more the rage felt alien, even though the fury was all hers to tap and the living shadows were… something else.

As the darkness closed in and the field of her vision shrank by the second, as the furious strength in her thrashing limbs waned, Scorch raised a hand, fingers splayed, pointing the flat of her palm at Kaos' face.

The skin split and parted like lids; an eye opened in the center of that palm. Then many other eyes also opened across her mentor's hand in the same disgusting fashion. Smacking and glistening wet with tears and slime, the eyes resembled those of a cat, black pupils all vertically slit. All golden like Scorch's, glowing, curiously locking eyes with Kaos. Their gazes dug deeper, burning through the oil slick of her dying humanity, and The Many peered into the remaining sliver of this young woman's soul.

The darkness fully swallowed the rest of the world around her. Across those impenetrable dark curtains, more eyes opened. The gold color within them blazed and flickered like flames. The world was soon made of eyes. Only eyes.

All eyes on Kaos, probing her spirit.

Testing it.

The darkness swallowed even the eyes, turning the world fully black.

But unlike losing time, unlike losing consciousness, Kaos fell. Chair and cable ties and all, she hurtled downwards, falling deep.

Not far, though. Her head jerked around, and her neck cracked as she landed sideways in something somewhat soft. Something like tar, as unfathomable and impenetrable as the darkness around her. Bubbling and oily, she sank into it, sinking deeper and deeper.

Raw instinct kicked in and she thrashed once the taste of something bitter and rotten joined the iron taste of blood in her mouth. But being tied to the metal chair still, her thrashing only helped her sink down deeper. She tore at the thin strips of plastic that continued to dig into her flesh and keep her bound to the metal chair, increasingly engulfed by this thick and goopy pool of darkness.

The curtains closed in, but the eyes opened across them again. Thousands of eyes, all cat-like. Burning bright yellow, golden, unblinking, and staring at her from every direction. Simply watching with inhuman curiosity while she screamed in fury, sinking deeper into the pool.

The embers rising from those eyes sparked something, and the tar of this infinitely black pit was lit ablaze. Flames roared, all spreading with lightning speed, matching the burning rage inside of her.

"You wanna live?" asked a chorus of voices. High-pitched and hissing, low and rumbling, growling and spiteful, snarling, and sadistic. So many of them.

"Speak up," sang the hideous chorus. "Or drown in darkness for all eternity."

"Yes," sputtered Kaos, spitting out foul muck. Yelled Kaos, gurgling and growling back at the chorus, repeating her pledge, "Yes! I wanna live!"

She sank deeper and deeper into the tar, painfully slow, inch by inch. The fires encroached quickly and, thanks to her slick-coated skin that was still above the surface level, she was immediately set on fire. The smell of burnt hair and rotten eggs filled the air and made her choke. She thrashed more, trying to stay afloat, trying not to drown despite burning alive. Despite the temptation to sink in fully and suffocate and forever be freed from the agony of the fire that now burned her on the outside, by far eclipsing the fire she had only felt within thus far.

"You wanna make 'em pay?" asked the chorus. "You wanna rain fire and fury upon the suck-pigs that regard humans as little more than cattle and prey?"

Blubbering, spitting out more of the burning tar, she yelled at the top of her lungs, "Yes!"

"Then take the oath. Consign your immortal soul to the Black Legion. Choose your side in the Last War."

Kaos screamed. Spat furiously to not choke, to not drown in the viscous oily substance, even though it would make the burning stop.

She screamed her oath, repeating after the chorus as it instructed her on what to utter.

Kaos jolted up into sitting, covered in a sheen of sweat.

The coarse set of blankets that had covered her were all balled up into a messy, smelly wad at the foot of her cot. Gloomy twilight poured in through the tiny cellar window, casting light on the small grimy space she had tried to sleep in.

Her new "home". The cabal's HQ.

She checked her phone and discovered it was three in the morning. Groaned.

Droning beats thumped and hammered against the ceiling above her, loud music from the strip club underneath which the cabal hid out.

No matter how often the nightmares of crossing the black line returned to haunt Kaos, they never became less vivid. The pain felt so real that, even now, she pulled up the sleeves of her ratty shirt to check her arms for burn marks. Or maybe eyes.

Only the scars from the plastic cable ties remained on her wrists, a reminder that some part of the maddening experience had been unmistakably real. Till this day, she wondered what part of it was imagined.

Maybe none of it.

All she knew for sure was that her mentor, Scorch, had done something to her. And ever since, Kaos only looked human on the outside. Her body no longer behaved like a natural human being's.

Loud music, muffled through layers of concrete and several doors, continued to beat upstairs. Her bare feet slapped down as she swung her legs off the side of the cot with a sigh. She rubbed her face, slick and oily with her own perspiration, then shuffled across the cold filthy floors to open an old used refrigerator that looked like it had survived since the 1940s and been brought here from a landfill.

The blinding light from the little lamp inside the fridge made her flinch. The soothing hum of the cooling container buzzed monotonously. She blinked and looked through the contents inside the fridge.

Reaching past the human heart pickled in a jar and a shrink-wrapped bag of intestines, she grabbed one of the eleven cartons of orange juice and slammed the fridge door shut.

Ripped the carton open, chugging the sweet and sour orange stuff.

Nice and cool. Sticky, but refreshing. One of the few tastes she still enjoyed since—

Since her becoming. Since the rebirth.

She paused to catch her breath and lean against the rusty metal table next to the fridge.

The nearby faucet dripped continuously. The music upstairs continued to thump. Her eyes adjusted to her environment. Part of her becoming, she now saw perfectly in the dark.

This place was a dump. But it was better than nothing and the cabal could not afford to be picky. The only cash they made was whatever they could steal from scumbags—human scumbags—whom they curb-stomped on their cases. And the wads of dollar bills that Scorch sometimes showed up to dismissively drop off with them. Wherever the hell she got the money from.

Kaos chugged more orange juice. Then chugged some more.

She barely ate anymore but drank this stuff by the gallons nowadays.

Nowadays, she was strong enough to rip a telephone book apart with her bare hands. Her fury empowered such.

Matching that, she crumpled up the emptied carton between her fists and chucked the useless wad at the trash bin where it bounced off the edge and landed among the other litter—a handful of candy bar wrappers, balled up pieces of paper, and a crumpled empty pack of cigarettes—all the cabal had failed to sink into the garbage with such casual throws. None of the slobs bothered to pick it up until one of them lost a bet.

Thumping of a different sort filled the basement rooms. Lacking rhythm, indicating a slight limp, thundering footsteps of heavy boots thumped down the narrow stairs connecting their slice of the underworld to the glamorous world above. A light winked on behind the man coming downstairs, transforming him into a broad and shadowy silhouette.

Crumpled trench coat, combat boots, a mess of hair on his head, the bulge of heat in his coat pocket.

He was not happy to see Kaos. He was simply packing one of those big fuck-off Dirty Harry revolvers.

Stopping short of descending the final steps, he visibly stared at her from across the cellar and braced himself against the ceiling.

"Great, you are up. Major break," Razor said in his typically gravelly voice. He sounded exactly like what you imagined one of those hard-boiled detectives should sound like—if the actor depicting them was exaggerating it to the point of ridiculousness. "I think we're good to make the kill. Now, I know you need your beauty sleep—and a lot of it at that—but we got some killin' to do. Ready up, ho."

Kaos flipped him the bird.

The shoulders on Razor's silhouette heaved as he chortled in response. Were it not for the blinding light behind him, she would have seen his shit-eating grin. She knew it was there.

"No, but seriously. Get dressed, pack your big guns, and let's go put this motherfucker six-hundred and sixty-six feet under. I left the engine running. Time's tickin'. C'mon. Chop-chop."

Kaos squinted at him and clicked her tongue.

"The fuck? You wanna do this without Ram? Or Law? Or—and I can't believe I'm suggesting this—without Base?"

Razor tilted his head and said, "All o' them're busy followin' up on the meat-packin' plant case. And Scorch thinks highly of you. I don't see it, but high time for me to be convinced otherwise."

Though she could not see his eyes, his burning gaze was felt.

Kaos set her jaw.

"Fuck you," she sighed. "I'll be right up."

Invisible to her, still she sensed his lop-sided smile. He slapped the ceiling and turned around. Thumped right back up those stairs.

Within the next minute, she slipped into her own combat boots, slung on her windbreaker, and tossed her duffel bag onto the cot. In went a handy little fire axe, a bone saw, two small pistols, a sawed-off shotgun, and her new personal favorite: the big fuck-off machine gun that Ram had taken from some wannabe-paramilitary nutjobs.

A box of shells and bullets each jingled as she dumped them into the bag with the weaponry, and she draped a belt of ammunition for the machine gun on top before ripping the zipper up, slinging the heavy bag over her shoulder, and thundering up those basement stairs to follow Razor out.

The droning electronic dance music was louder up here, but still muffled enough through closed doors. Even so, it could not drown out the clinking and clacking from her bag and her heavy footsteps. Kaos marched down the narrow backstage hallway.

Chubbs, the owner of Pink Exxxtacy, poked his head out of the door to his office.

Once his eyes met Kaos' gaze, he nodded sagely in greeting and then closed the door behind him again.

Good ol' Chubbs. He did not even know what exactly the cabal was doing. Maybe he had an inkling, but more likely than anything, he probably thought they were vigilantes or something along those lines.

This part of the city was a real hellmouth. More so than most people realized.

More literally than they likely ever figured.

No matter how sleazy he looked on the surface, Chubbs was one of the good guys. All he knew was that they were doing good, that they were some sort of messed-up A-Team, so he never had any questions about them being covered in blood, and he asked for very little cash to keep the water running and the lights on in their humble abode. Which was good, because little cash was all they had to offer.

Kaos pushed her way out through the emergency exit door.

Her rusty old Buick's engine merrily chugged away, the silhouette of Razor sitting behind the wheel and the tiny red glow of a cigarette in his mouth flaring up.

With a groan, she dumped the duffel bag onto the back seat, slammed the door shut, and got inside up front, riding shotgun with her fellow soldier. Kaos coughed as she swatted the air and rolled down the passenger seat window.

Razor stepped on the gas and the old piece of junk of a car lurched into motion.

"I vaguely remember tellin' you to stop smokin' in my ride, shit-head," she growled.

The badly shaven man simply grinned his usual shit-eating grin. His mouth drooped into a frown the moment she snatched the cigarette from his lips and tossed it out the window.

"Hey!"

"Can it, and watch the road, asshole," she told him, promptly pointing ahead of them.

He followed her gaze and then swerved hard to the left to avoid hitting a hydrant. The tires screeched and some metal part whined as the car veered onto the trash-littered streets and shook them from hopping off the curb.

"If you're gonna throw your life away suckin' on those cancer sticks—"

"In our line o' work?" Razor chuckled again. Dark, hollow. Not born from amusement, but resignation and bitterness. "Fuck, sister, I think I'll take my chances with smokin'."

She rolled her jaw and glared at him.

"Anyway. You wanna shoot your mouth off, shoot me the downlow on our case. What juicy intel have you got that you wanna go in all half-cocked, guns blazin', not waitin' for any backup?"

He shook his head, eyes trained on the road. He dug around in a coat pocket and produced a toothpick, flicking it into the corner of his mouth.

"Don't you worry your pretty head, sugar-tits. This is gonna be a milk run."

Her stomach knotted at that phrasing and she glared at him again.

There was no such thing as a "milk run" in their line of work.

Razor rolled the toothpick from one corner of his mouth to the other and back.

"Hunter. Pattern checks out. Motherfucker's been pickin' off hobos and runaways. Took a while to find anybody who'd talk, but the motherfucker always leaves their shoes behind. See, they were not willin' to admit that part because they took the shoes for themselves, so, what I did was—"

"The point, man. Get to it. I don't wanna hear your fuckin' life story."

"Well, I stopped lookin' for witnesses. Realized there was a corner in the industry zone—like a whole fuckin' area, like—completely abandoned. No homeless people there. No squatters, no nobody. And it ain't like anybody's avoidin' it. Nah, they didn't even realize that everybody there had gone missin'. I scoped out the place after dark, and I think it's out on the prowl. But we go now, just before sunrise, we can probably ambush this sum'bitch right when he's back from evisceratin' the next poor fucker. No signs of sepsis either, so this hunter's all solitary. We ain't got no backup, but neither does our target."

Silence. Kaos absorbed his summary.

"Leaves the shoes, huh? The fuck is up with that?"

He rolled the toothpick back and forth again.

"Beats me. Maybe this one's got a foot fetish."

Kaos cleared her mind. Focused on the fury inside of her, now only simmering.

Driving for several minutes in silence, he finally added, "Base said he killed two different Vouzires with the cabal. So, these motherfuckers ain't even unique. But I'll be damned if I ever make sense of why they do the fucked-up shit they do. Like, s'this is what I never made any sense of. If they just need to rack up souls for Armageddon like Scorch says, then why all the extra bells and whistles?"

Kaos shrugged. She did not really care. She could feel Razor's curious gaze sweeping off the center of the road to her and back.

The car stopped at a narrow crossing where a drug dealer and his huddled cluster of customers dispersed, scattering like cockroaches from the glaring shine of the Buick's headlights. The engine chugged louder as he stepped on the gas again and sped past them.

"You ever wonder what she is?" he asked.

"Who? Scorch?"

"Yeah, of course. You ever wonder, like—"

"No."

"Like, if we're not really human anymore, then what the fuck is she?"

Silence.

Kaos studied the people loitering around outside a small grocery store. Everybody here looked poor in some way. Just like them.

The cabal usually blended right in in this part of the city.

"I first thought the others were full o' shit. I used to think she was sent by the big man upstairs," Razor rambled on. "Then I started thinkin' they might be onna somethin'. That she may be from downstairs after all. Y'know? It ain't exactly like crossin' the black line has made us sprout white feathery angel wings and fart rainbows and—"

"The other things don't make any fuckin' sense, either," grumbled Kaos. "If she's one o' them, then why the fuck is she killin' 'em? Why the fuck is she preppin' us to kill 'em like she does?"

"Hell if I know," he sighed. "Maybe there's somethin' she's not tellin' us about this 'Last War' bullshit."

More silence.

But the train of thought stuck with Kaos. No matter how much she downplayed it, the enigma of Scorch's nature always remained stuck in the back of her mind, like a splinter buried deep underneath the skin—going unnoticed, most of the time, occasionally inflicting a sharp spike of pain whenever you moved, and with no pair of tweezers ready nearby for you to use to just yank the splinter out.

And Scorch, well, she did nothing to curb their wild theories. That "woman"—their mentor—she spoke about very little other than business. She only ever cared to drop vague hints about the Last War, and about how to butcher demons.

It was no wonder that the cabal often talked about it.

The gloomy slums made way to the gloomy industrial zone. Tall brick buildings and smokestacks all around, towering warehouses and other big husks that might as well have been completely deserted. If they were still in use by any companies, then their owners were not giving a damn about having any maintenance done on them.

"You remember what it was like?" Razor asked. Though gravelly as always, he suddenly somehow sounded softer.

"What? My first time? I don't kiss and tell," Kaos mumbled, one cheek resting against the fist that propped her head up.

He snorted. Smirked.

"The black line. You remember what it was like for you when you crossed it?"

She shook her head. Shrugged. Kaos lied.

"Nah. It just sucked."

Another short window of silence, filled with her gazing outside.

Only few of the windows on the warehouse they rolled up to had not been smashed. Vines crept up the bottom edges of the chain link fence and some of the muddy-brown brick walls.

Razor killed the lights, the engine, everything. Kaos' rusty old Buick rolled up onto the curb and slowed to a complete halt.

"Sucked how? Exactly?"

"I don't know. Barely remember," she lied again. "It was all fire and darkness and ten thousand angel eyes or some such shit. Who gives a fuck?"

"Hm," grunted Razor.

That was it.

He took the toothpick from his mouth, tossed it onto the dashboard, and whipped the pistol out of his pocket. Clicked it open, checked its chambers. Every one of them filled with a bullet each.

Kaos looked him up and down.

"That's it? Thought you said it was a hunter. And you're just bringing a single six-shooter?"

In the morning twilight, his yellowed teeth glistened as he smiled at her.

"My baby's only got six shots, but I make 'em all count and they all pack a punch. I think this one's a pussy. She'll do the trick."

He tapped his forehead with the barrel of his gun.

Kaos glared at him without blinking.

"Cool. I'm bringing the shottie. And the machine gun. You macho-ass dipshit."

He still smiled, oozing his unearned confidence.

The banged-up old car see-sawed as they both climbed out of it. She leaned inside over the backseat to produce the double-barreled "boomstick", which she shoved into her belt behind her back. Then she grabbed the machine gun, inserted the ammunition belt, and slapped the weapon once she finished loading it.

"Rock 'n roll," she said.

Razor tilted his head. To her chagrin, he had been standing well behind her, staring at her ass while she was fishing out her arsenal for the job. Once their gazes met, he flashed her one of his trademarked, stubble-framed, lop-sided grins.

"More like heavy metal, baby," he replied. Winked.

He cocked the hammer on his gun for emphasis. She battled the urge to break his jaw and shook her head and refrained from hurling another insult at him.

Razor was perfectly fine at making himself look an unlikable dumbass, and now was not the time.

Now was the time to stay on edge.

To channel the fury and point its destructive force in the right direction.

"This it?" she asked him. Jutted out her chin to gesture at the warehouse.

He shot a glance over his shoulder and nodded. "Yep. Perfect center of the abandoned area. I think sepsis might break out if it takes more lives here. I can almost smell the rot."

They marched towards the old derelict. Head always on a swivel, they looked over their shoulders constantly. Straining to hear any telltale sounds beyond the loud crunching of gravel and broken glass and other junk underneath their boots.

The place was dead silent otherwise.

Kaos now knew what he had meant. There should have been squatters here. Or traffic.

The streets well around this warehouse were all deserted. And she felt the onset of sepsis as well. The unmistakable presence of a demon fouling up its environment like a corpse rotting in a small pool of water. Others like Razor said they could smell it. Kaos simply felt it; it made her fingernails throb unpleasantly.

"Paydirt," Razor whispered.

Following where he pointed his gun's barrel, Kaos spotted the conspicuous brown splatters of long-dried blood. They both followed them back down the asphalt field they had just crossed and finally pieced it together.

She was happy she had not eaten anything recently.

All the trash, used needles, broken glass—everything littering the path to the warehouse entrance was sharp and dangerous to tread upon if you were not wearing the same kind of boots that they did. And barely noticeable, lots of the jagged and spiky bits were marked with dried blood as well, forming a distinct trail.

The demon was making his prey walk barefoot over all that junk.

Kaos envisioned how it prodded them and whispered into their ears, a seductive voice telling them that they were free if only they could walk right out to the street without screaming. The way they would cringe and suppress their cries of pain, walking from the warehouse out into the open as metal scraps and rusty nails and sharp glass and dirty needles pierced the flesh of their naked soles.

Slowly inching towards the false promise of freedom while it cackled behind them, waiting patiently as they suffered, as they walked the entirety of those hundred paces, bleeding more profusely with every step.

And whether they screamed or not, it eventually pounced before they ever made it to the end.

Later, claws would gingerly rearrange the garbage to make the gauntlet as torturous as possible to walk across.

The trails said everything.

Kaos had never really learned how to track. She just knew these things instinctively by looking at them. Did not help one bit when it came to people, or animals. She only knew how these monsters ticked.

In some of her nightmares not involving the black line, she caught glimpses of another world she should not have ever known, seeing the demons in their natural habitat, the hellscape they had clawed their way out of to wreak havoc upon earth. She remembered them from alien memories—ones not her own, festering in her mind like a putrid, cancerous growth.

Kaos and Razor shot each other glances.

"Gogrimog," she said.

"Definitely Gogrimog," he said, nodding.

They swiveled and stopped by the large double doors by the building's side entrance. Razor kicked them open, and they barged in, weapons pointed ahead, staring into the darkness.

Their eyes adjusted until they could see in the dark. With that came a faint glow from their eyes as they turned yellow, and their pupils became slit like a cat's.

Another one of the many "gifts" that Razor and Kaos shared since crossing the black line.

Staying low and hunched over, they crept through the warehouse. Guns pointed around every corner, keeping a lookout for the Gogrimog. Searching every nook and cranny for the demon's lair.

This place had fallen into disrepair several decades ago. Mold pockmarked the walls, spackling and other material had begun to crumble in spots, and every window into offices or auxiliary rooms had been thoroughly smashed, both by hoodlums and later by the demon to gather glass shards. Once, there must have been a time when people still squatted here. Now it only housed something monstrous.

Numerous blood splatters, long dried like the rest outside, made the search an easy matter. The whole place smelled like a dusty old locker room, like stale sweat and unwashed socks, and the stinging stench of urine wafted outwards from the warehouse's deepest bowels.

They wordlessly followed that smell. It usually worked out that way.

In a large storage room, where the bad scents converged, the two disciples found it. The wide-open area still contained some dusty old crates, flanked by heaps of junk that someone had stuffed into the corners, but none of that was interesting.

A set of upside-down metal barrels arranged in a semi-circle now resembled a crude shrine. On top of each barrel sat a pair of severed human feet and something else in between them. Some of the feet looked older and shriveled and some looked rotten, while one pair looked particularly fresh. All of them were covered in lacerations, some had glass still lodged in the soles, and all had been ripped off their adjoining legs, judging by the pieces of cracked bone sticking out of the stumps above the ankles. No cuts up there, only evidence of an unnaturally tremendous force having snapped them from their limbs like twigs.

Even up close, Kaos was unsure what the disgusting fleshy slop resting in between each pair of feet was.

"Medulla oblangata," muttered Razor, as if having read her mind.

She shot him a glance.

"Part o' the brain," he added.

"I know that much myself. Dick."

"Real sick puppy we've got on our hands here."

He rolled his jaw and licked his lips. She could almost taste Razor's craving for a smoke.

Razor pointed at a dark corner near a trash heap and said, "How about you take position over there, pop out to draw its attention when it comes to rest its sorry ass down here and admire its collection, and then I blow its head off from behind? If that ain't enough, you blow your load. Y'know, keep it simple."

Kaos was about to reply with a glib remark about him being the one who belonged in the trash until she noticed something drop behind him.

A single drip. A droplet of something thick and slimy. Something dark.

Time slowed to a crawl, so much so that it almost froze entirely. In a fraction of a second, her gaze wandered up to the source of that droplet. To the thing hanging from metal girders overhead.

A leering, smiling maw with rows of perfectly straight, needle-shaped teeth, glistening in the dim light from above. The slime dripped from its slavering jaw. Two huge, bulging, round eyes above the maw almost glowed, filled with excitement and blood lust and pure insanity.

Four pairs of breasts jiggled as the demon shifted its weight from where it was hanging, gripping the steel girders across the high ceiling, holding on with gigantic claws.

It leapt before Kaos could react. It attacked before Razor's face fell, the immediate response to reading the change in Kaos' shocked expression and realizing what was about to befall him.

Time no longer flowed slowly. Things happened very quickly.

His initial shouts emerged with anger. He thrashed, but the massive size and weight of the demon pinned him down onto the dirty floor. Boobs flopped down into his face and muffled his shouts while the demon grinned hideously at Kaos.

Then his shouts changed pitch, rising high and conveying only pain. Those giant claws clamped down and twisted his arms and tore until they had wrenched the limbs from their sockets with wet and cracking sounds and two explosive jets of blood sprayed from the resulting wounds.

The Gogrimog emitted a deep baritone laughter, revolving and darkly amused, but the machine gun's deafening staccato cut it off. Bullet casings ejected from the weapon with a fierce and mathematical rhythm.

The creature shrieked under the fully automatic fire; its awful countenance illuminated by the blaze of the weapon's muzzle flashing. Kaos could not care any less about what exactly it looked like, instead pouring all her focus into keeping the gun steady as she unloaded dozens of bullets into the Gogrimog. It leapt away from Razor with the litheness of a cat, taking with it his severed arms as trophies.

Old empty crates exploded where the demon landed and crushed them underneath its tremendous weight, conveying beyond a shadow of any doubt that it sported the mass of a whole-ass automobile.

Razor was screaming bloody murder, interrupted by a bout of choking and coughing. Then more salvos from the machine gun roared up and drowned out his blood-curdling yells of crippling pain.

The creature had raised a huge meaty arm to shield its face from the gunfire. The big bullets and little splatters of blood peppering its pitch-black flesh looked tiny in comparison to its awesome size. Its maw never shifted, always frozen in that hideous toothy grin, bug-eyed and gleeful about the slaughter it yearned to commit.

It reared back, catching the brunt of several more bullets before leaping up with surprising speed. Glass shattered and rained down nearby from where it crashed through the skylight windows, swinging, and hurtling out of sight with its obscene momentum.

Kaos' teeth hurt from gritting them so hard, and when she noticed as much, she spat a whole gob of profanities at the demon.

Razor screamed, "Get my arms! Give me—gimme my fuckin' arms back, you vile piece o' shit!"

He flopped around on the ground like a fish on the dry, failing to get back up on his feet. Blood continued to pump out from his shoulder-stumps all the while.

A booming, voluminous voice followed and echoed through the warehouse halls, smoky with the crackling of hellfire to punctuate its every growled syllable, "Little human, little girl—I will rip off your head and shit down your neck."

A couple of demon-kills previously, and threats like these would have let Kaos' blood run cold with dread. Now, however, it only made the thunder in her heart rumble—it poured gasoline into the fires of her fury.

She swiveled, expecting the demon to strike from everywhere. Hunters always did.

So, too, the Gogrimog.

A wall behind her exploded, pelting her with pebbles and other chunks of bricks. A piece of rebar lodged itself right into her back even though Kaos rolled away—just in time to avoid the avalanche of demolished wall and the massive weight of the Gogrimog.

She had no time to register the pain.

The demon skidded past her, sharp claws ripping scars into the concrete floor and kicking up a thick cloud of dust. When it turned, the bug-eyed grimace continued to grin at her. Then its maw widened, far enough to shove half a grown man down its gullet.

The fuel named adrenaline pumped through Kaos in unison with the fury, admixing with despair. The machine gun had tumbled out of her grip when she dodged out of the way—sitting on the ground, just out of reach.

The demon jumped again, burying her underneath its tremendous weight, causing the fires of rage to blend with fires of pain. The bones in her legs were on the verge of cracking entirely, and several boobs flopped into Kaos' face, causing her to sputter and curse and flail around until two giant claws seized her by a forearm each.

Then the twisting began. Painful cracking followed. Kaos screamed in pain and unbridled rage and resisted with all her might, refusing to let this thing twist far enough to rip her arms off, but no amount of fury alone was going to prevent the Gogrimog from repeating what it had just wrought upon Razor. It had the strength of an elephant.

The pressure suddenly ceased. The creature let go, shrieking and howling in a monstrous rage of its own. The crushing weight lifted from her and Kaos rolled away, dragging herself another few paces before scrambling to her feet.

The Gogrimog howled and flailed at a figure on its back. Razor rode on it. His chest had split open and connected to a gigantic fleshy cancerous appendage that ended in a lamprey-like mouth. The hungry maw from his chest kept whipping around, lashing out, and chomping on the pitch-black flesh from the demon's back, emitting slurping and sucking sounds after every bite.

Bucking and swatting its claws ineffectively at the insect on its back, the demon failed to throw Razor off despite his lack of arms to hold on. The lamprey-tentacle did all the work for him.

"Yeah," Razor laughed, with madness glinting in his cat-like eyes. "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!"

He laughed hysterically as the lamprey-mouth bit down on the back of the Gogrimog's head. The demon then leapt upwards with another sudden burst of speed and force that defied its size and weight, sending them flying upwards into the metal girders above.

Razor's crazed laughter was killed off with a pained and clipped gurgle and the two crashed back down onto concrete floors. The Gogrimog snatched him by the lamprey-tumor and swung him around like a broken toy, smashing him into the concrete once and then tossing him into a pile of junk.

Kaos limped towards the machine gun, but the demon was fast.

Too fast.

It pounced before she reached the weapon, just one arm's length away.

To the demon's surprise, Kaos was fast, too. Faster than humans should be.

And this time, too fast for the Gogrimog.

Its claw clamped down around the barrels of the shotgun she had slung out from her belt. She pulled the triggers all the way through, and the creature's entire hand exploded, shredding it in its entirety and taking away part of its arm past the trunk of its wrist, showering Kaos' face with blood and tiny chunks of bone, and simultaneously blowing away half the demon's teeth and face in the blast.

The Gogrimog howled like a gigantic wolf in pain and stumbled backwards, buying the single second Kaos needed to roll away and snatch up the machine gun with another burst of unnatural speed.

The gun blazed away.

Her teeth hurt again by the time all ammo from the belt had been spent, burnt through. The hypnotic metallic jingling of the empty casings raining down onto the stony floor still rang in her ears like a distant memory, overshadowed by the loud ringing in her ears from the gun's ceaseless discharge of thunderclaps as it had pumped dozens over dozens of rounds into the demon.

She stood on top of the dying Gogrimog. The muzzle of the gun was still jammed into its maw, where it had broken more teeth with the force of her ramming it in there and continuing to pull the trigger until its spine and other meaty chunks and blood had finished re-painting the warehouse's floors.

The rage remained.

Kaos saw red, her chest and shoulders heaving with heavy breaths.

When the demon twitched in its death throes, she gave it no quarter. Not for all the people it had tortured and killed. For all that would continue to be tormented and slaughtered by its kind.

She punched right into its skull, cracking and squelching sounds and all, and she gripped. With all her rage, she ripped the remainder of its brains out, dragging with it a long wiry mass of other fleshy matter. She tore it all out and tossed it onto the ground in front of the Gogrimog's eyes.

To make sure it could watch.

It would never move again. Kaos waited until she was sure of its demise.

When the crimson cleared and her senses had normalized somewhat, she stood over Razor, whose breaths had grown dangerously flat and short. He sat, leaned up against the wall, having left a trail of blood from where the Gogrimog had thrown him.

"Sorry, man. Couldn't find the arms," Kaos muttered.

He tried to smile, but awash with pain and insanity, his face cycled through several conflicting twitches of different emotions.

"Fuck it. Lil' too late for that, Kay," he said, squeezing out the words with immense difficulty, choking on every syllable.

She crammed a fist into his coat pocket, dug around in there, and produced his pack of cigarettes. Dug around some more and pulled out his lighter to match.

Stuck a smoke into the corner of his mouth and lit it up for him.

He managed to inhale, making that tiny little dot glow brightly.

Then he chortled. Muffled somewhat by clamping the cigarette between one corner of his lips, he said, "Thought I wasn't supposed to smoke."

"Not in my car, you stupid dickhead."

He smiled, but his eyes painted a picture of many other things: debilitating pain, dredged-up old memories, and overwhelming grief.

For a few seconds, Kaos wondered what life Razor had left behind before joining the Last War and crossing the black line. Then she packed that thought away and locked it in the attic and threw away the key.

No point in getting attached. Not now, at least.

"Milk run, huh," she muttered, shaking her head. Sighing. "We shoulda waited, you stupid dickhead."

"Hah," he chortled again, smoke billowing out of his nostrils over his pained grin. "Fucker's dead, right?"

A tiny consolation.

Yet she could not help it, could not prevent a feeble smile from overtaking her lips.

"Any last wishes?"

The cigarette plummeted from his mouth, bounced off his lap and rolled across the bloodied floors, away from him.

She expected Razor to grab it, to pick it up. But he had no arms anymore with which to do so. It was almost like feeling the phantom limbs of another person for a split second.

But not even his eyes had followed that imaginary trajectory. When she locked eyes with him again, his had gone vacant. Empty. Soulless.

Dead.

"Fucker's dead, alright," she sighed again.

She closed his eyes and rested her bloodstained hand there for a thoughtful moment, cupped over the upper half of his face.

Then she got up, gathered their guns, and returned to the Buick outside. Every step of the way, the sea of shards and junk crunched underfoot, ghastly reminders of what the demon had done to all its innocent victims.

She dumped the two guns onto the backseat without getting them sorted or reloaded. Currently did not care what happened if she got pulled over. Slammed the door shut as she slumped into the driver's seat and gripped the wheel until her knuckles turned white.

The car's horn honked when she hammered her fist against the steering wheel.

She snatched his toothpick from the dashboard and chucked it out the window. Then she revved the engine, which chugged back to life, and she rode into the sunrise.

Kaos had never liked Razor.

But she liked losing fellow soldiers in this war far less.

Even if the line between Us and Them looked paper-thin, every one of Us counted.

Armageddon was really fucking nigh.

—Submitted by Wratts

[popculturebuffet]

The Legion of Super Heroes Reviews: The Legion of Substitute Heroes or Unsung Heroes

Happy 29th Birthday to Me! Yes it’s my birthday which means it’s time for reflection, griping about getting older and cake. And after an exausting weekend of grappling with a growth, i’m not going to go into anymore detail, I can finally, relax celebrate and get back to reviewing. And since i’ts my big day, that means I decided to dedicate today’s reviews to things that mean a hell of a lot to me and in one way or another shaped me as a person. A self indulgant way to reflect on my past, look to the future and show y’all some stuff I really like. So with that out of the way let’s talk about the Legion of Super Heroes.. and their oddball sub team I love dearly. 

This is also my first chance to talk about DC Comics on my blog. I’m honestly shocked that in the year i’ve been reviewing stuff regularly, the other half of the big two superhero comic publishers hasn’t come up. While I do tend to lean towards marvel, in part because Marvel is simply better at collecting their stuff and putting it on sale more often, it’s still the home of some of my faviorite properties: Justice League International, The Green Lanterns (Minus Hal), Teen Titans, Wonder Woman, Oracle, Batgirl (All of them, particularly Steph and Cass), Young Justice, Supergirl, my personal boy The Martian Manhunter.. the list dosen’t go on by much but it indeed goes on. I”ve been reading dc comics since I was in middle school, and I haven’t stopped since and don’t intend to stop now and maybe in the next year I can get around to tackling some of their awesome cartoons and comics more eh? But yeah among these titans, including the actual titans, are the Legion, one of the most unique and awesome super team concepts in my humble opinon and , even for DC, one of the teams with the most tangled up histories. 

First created in the Silver Age by writer Otto Binder and Artist Al Plastino, The Legion of Superheroes is DC”s first successful teen superhero team, predating the titans by a few years, though I dearly love both wildly diffrent teams. The Legion is defined by their high concept: A thousand years into the future, three super teens from diffrent worlds who happened to be on the same ship with billionare RJ Brande, saved Brande from some goons hired by his crooked buisness partner. 

And exposed him. Inspirired by their courage, heart and skill, Brande latter called the three together to form them into a super team, one inspiried by the legends of teen hero Superboy. 

No not Conner though it was nice to get to show off my poster of him. While he was part of the second continuities legion, we’ll get to that, he’s not the superboy we’re looking for. He is damn great though and it’s good to have you back bud. 

Not Jon either, though I do miss this kid’s pre-bendis version and he was the inspiration.. for another version of the legion. (SIGH). Try. AGAIN IMAGE SEARCH. 

...... 

No not the cool bad boy turned troubled good boy, not the child who was inexpciably aged up by that bald smeghead, and not the great idea turned into a editiorial mouthpiece. I”m talking about THIS superboy. 

This is where the name came from: From the silver age till crisis on infinite earths, Clark Kent was active as a kid in smallville, and thus was Superboy, superman when he was a boy. He dealt with similar stories just with Lana replacing Lois, and Luthor as a ginger teenager. And it was these deeds as a teen hero on his own, one of the first honestly, that inspiried the legion and brande and forged the team. 

And it was naturally a super boy story where they were first introduced as the legion’s founders went back to recruit Superboy after putting him through some trials, and were intended as just one of many silver age one off concepts.. but caught on with the readers so much they were brought back, and had their ranks expanded and eventually not only added supergirl, yes the one your thinking of this time, to their ranks, and yes sometimes she and superboy were in the same place at the same time, Clark willingly had founding member and telepath Saturn Girl put a mental block in his head for any info he’s not supposed to know yet so it’s cool . But yeah not only that but they eventually became their own feature in Adventure Comics, where Superboy’s stories were published, but overtook him in popularity with time.  Over time a number of distinct aspects were established: The roster eventually got as large as 20 plus legionarres, almost all from diffrent worlds, and they eventually set up bilaws. Some are silly and dated such as “Legionarres marrying means they retire” which was eventually done away with in the 70′s, but others were simple logic: each member must have a unique power, no using weapons and such which rather than be super power snobbery is so said tech dosen’t fail and the legion later fully allowed Karate Kid, a martial artist, to join, no killing.. just common sense stuff that adds to it. And one of those is the centerpiece to today’s story, which we’ll get to in a moment.  Obviously given they’ve been around since 1958, there is a LOT more to the Legion’s history I will dig into at a later date: The short version is that Crisis on Infinite Earths, Dc’s first big reboot, fucked the team up badly by retconning superboy out of existance and dc editorial made it worse by shooting down EVERY solution the team came up with to fix the issue. So eventually things got so messy they nuked the whole thing during the event Zero Hour and rebooted fresh with Mark Waid taking the helm and updating the concept for the 90′s and being a more lighthearted, if still not without weight, comic in the sea of 90′s edge. Waid would reboot the team again due to sagging sales, a far weaker reason this time, with a more rebllion slant, the original team would be reinstated, and then ended for a while before recently being rebooted by Brian Micheal Bendis... who sadly is long past his creative prime from books like Ultimate Spider-man and alias and is instead stewing in his own toilet dinner these days and thus it’s not pretty.. well okay art wise i’ts VERY pretty, it’s just story wise it sucks dirty ass in thunder storms. There was also an awesome cartoon that sadly lasted only two seasons that I will DEFINTELY be digging into, especially since unlike x-men evolution, it’s not you know 50 some episodes and me biting off way more than I can chew but a slim 26 that still has fans to this day. I”ll get into ALL OF THIS, some ohter time hopefullly and I mostly outlined it since some of you might be familiar with another version or “Sigh” the reboot and this helps clear things up.  So yeah with all that out of the way we’re going back to the silver age and the first story I ever read of hte team, how I met them with “The Legion of Substitute Heroes” and a later subs story I genuinely love. I first read this story in one dc’s old expensive archives collections I got from the library. Oh how I miss the library. Your probably wondering who the legion of susbstite heroes are.. but since the first story covers that we can jump right in after the break!

So we open with a teen in a parka uniform disembarking from a spaceship from another planet, which a passerby notes is just like the airplanes people used to ride from country to country. 

But we meet our hero, Polar Boy, whose in a winter themed outfit and has come to try out. This is the tradition I was saving for now: The Legion Tryouts. Like a club or sports team would, but I like it because it makes sense: The Legion NEEDS to be as big as it is because while their headquartered on earth, their mission scope is anywhere in the united planets which spans GALAXIES. They could be called on any time and need their full force or need to have severa l members on a smaller mission and frequently having members away on a mission was cleverly used to reduce the cast to whoever was needed for the story. 

So it only makes sense to frequently look for new membbers to help strengthen their ranks... but given their teens and are recurting teens they need to be careful and need a logical way to reduce crowd flow. I mean you saw how many people used to line up for american idol before that died a justified death, people will do anything to be famous and they need to weed out those whose powers and skill just aren’t up to snuff yet, or those who are just dicks as, unsuprisingly, several stories have been built on assholes who applied and were rejected turning evil and attacking.. even though the Legion wasn’t even paticuarlly harsh. They also are more than fair as applicants CAN try again or if they prove themselves in other ways can be let in, as Bouncing Boy, my favoirite legionarre, was intially rejected for his power of .. well...

Yeah.. on paper inflating like a ball and bouncing around is kind of silly. In practice he can ricochet off enemies, walls, and obstacles and is fairly durable in that state. It’s why I don’t really brook mocking the guys power: yes it’s goofy.. but say that again when he hands you his ass. It’s the same with matter eater lad who yes is an actual character: While being able to eat anything is gloriously goofy.. it means he can chew through ANY substance and digest ANYTHING. Hell in the cartoon episode intorducing the subs they used both of these guys to great efffect: Bouncing Boy, who in the cartoon had to try out multiple times in his backstory, encouraged the future subs while Matter Eater Lad got in by EATING A FUCKING BOMB. He also had shades which I dind’t know he was missing but now I do. My point is the process is fair and well thought out and leads to some really fun scenes. 

But yeah joining the legion is naturally Polar Boy’s dream, as he walks down the avenue of heroes, basically a series of statues honoring the legion and hopes all his hard work paid off. We then cut to the auditions, where he apparently waited all night. What I like about this story is that unusually for the silver age legion where it was mostly a sea of powers attached to a bunch of cardboard, really the dc silver age in a nutshell and why marvel broke out so much for having more dynamic and realistic characters, Polar Boy has more of a personality. It’s not MUCH but he’s a dedicated, hard working kid who just wants to join his heroes and seems really in awe of htem, a feeling we can all relate to. We’ve all had people we’ve looked up to, admired, and we’ve all had groups we wanted to join as kids, teens or what have you. And of course.. we all know what it’s like to be rejected by someone or something you badly wanted to be a part of.  And that’s what happens to poor polar boy, who comes from a world with an intense sun thus his people developed super cold powers.. but he can’t control them well so while their impressive, they also freeze the legion. HIs powers are good... but due to their strength and radius he’s also a liablility. They give him an consolation anti-gravity belt.. they had these before eventually compressing them into the much cooler flight rings.. which I still desperatly want one of. I have the flash’s costume ring and a green lantern corps ring, but still no legion ring. 

Naturally this devistates the poor boy and he wonders around dispondent till nightfall, convinced he’ll never be one of them. He soon meets Night Girl, a fellow reject with super strength given to her by her dad’s formula.. but only in darkness as she’s from a world without sunlight. She also faces a “hopeless future” but it’s then Polar Boy’s true strength reveals itself: he decides screw giving up on their dream and if they can’t be in the legion they’ll start their own Legion. 

Though not to compete but to serve as a subtistute, in case the legion is ever incapacitated. So Night Girl gathers the other rejects the next morning. Cleverly one of them, Chlorophyll Kid was seen with Night Girl herslef at the tryouts behind Polar Boy. We soon learn about them and each of their origins: Stone Boy can turn himself into an immobile stone statue, as his world has half a year long nights and thus his people hybernate, Fire Lad who can spit hot fire literally and set anything combustable on fire and Chlorphyll Kid who can make plants grow rapidly. Each were rejected for resonable powers: Stone Boys powers too static, Fire Lad’s is too dangerous and Chorlpyl Kids toos pecific. But upon seeing all of this Polar Boy says they STILL have fantastic powers and still can help people and the legion. 

Thus the Legion of Substittue Heroes is born. And I love them as much as the originals. As a bit of a misfit myself I relate to these guys: They have strange specific powers, got rejected by the big team.. while that trope is nothing new at the time it was unique and even now it’s a nice and inspiring message. Instead of giving up they form their OWN team to do what htey can anyway. They might not be the best like the legion but they can still help and still do what’s right even if not on their scale. It’s a great concept and really makes them endearing. Again I have a thing for the underdogs but I still really like these guys. It’s why it annoys me they got kind of spat on with time: While I love Keith Giffen and Paul Levitz run on the legion, and feel it’s the best of that contnuinty it’s not without fault and the two basically spent a full issue mocking the team and split polar boy off from them before making their own subs with only ONE of the originals. It just felt.. disrspectful. And so far no continuity has used them again until the recent bendis run, which has them announced for the Future Slate special. It took BENDIS, who dosen’t get how to use the team properly and is up his own ass, to bring them back in a new continuity and I find that obnoxious. The subs are a great concept and deserve to be honored as such and as such are one of my favorite superhero teams. 

But their careers don’t start well as they doubt themslves, except for Polar Boy who boisters them along, and constnatly just end up going to missions the legion already has covered and when the legion go to fight some robot ships, they refuse the subs help.. which is fair though, as Brainy puts it they can’t risk putting untrained volunteers in harms way. Their about to just quit, in a really sad moment.. when CK, because I can’t spell cholophill and hate having to use spell check notices some odd seeds spread about.. and when he grows one a horrifying tree man shows up. They struggle with it till the setting son finishes it’s job, meaning Night Girl is at full power and whollops it and the subs spend the night destroying the seeds.  They  find out the next day the seeds came from the same planet as the robot ships, meaning the ships are a distraction for whoevers doing this and since they can’t just call earth, as the full force of the legion is needed with the robots and all it’d do is cause a panic, it’s down to them. Night Girl however is scared.. and I like that. It shows that while their regaining their confidence.. it’s sitll risky. Their a bunch of barely trained fanboys, and girl, going up against an alien invasion, with it down to them. They CAN save the world but it’s alright to be entirely terrified when your thrust into it this fast. 

They make their way to the planet, having built a ship earlier and lie low, finding out what’s going on: The plant men are fully intellegent, and grow themselves..though how they know to attack and go to the bathrom and what not out of the seed I don’t know but I assume it’s a genetic thing or they might be some form of hive mind. point is the seed plan is to grow troops all over the world via rockets for an invasion, and it’s a brilliant concept for one too. Aliens who simply GROW the troops right into battle, born with the knowledge to do so, and right where they can ambush them. It’s down to our heroes and Stone Boy, whose been the most pesemistic, valiantly dives in to provide a distraction so they can destroy the factory and the seeds. Turns out he is useful as the most the treeple have is a space lead pipe.. yes really. I love the silver age. But they’ll bring ray guns soon, so Stone BOy knows it’s a suicide mission and now our heroes have a timer. But luckily.. our heroes are stronger than they think. Night Girl punches a way in till Night passes, while Polar Boy and Flame Lad use their powers in concert to make an opneing.. but with time running out Polar Boy finishes things by having CK grow all the seeds now they have acess.. thus exploding the planets population, destroying several cities from the number of bodies, and thu discourguing the treeple from trying again. Stone boy is able to flee with the rest of our heroes and the day is saved. 

The heroes opt not to tell the public, as to take away glory for the Legion. It’s a noble gesture.. they do DESERVE credit, but they choose not to take it, preferring to let the legion get theres for stil lsaving the world from the robots. They stand firm, now confident they may someday make it to the big leagues.And it’s this that really makes me love them: Thier not the strongest or best, but they try anyway for the reasons a hero should: to help people, and not for the glory. THey remain unsung heroes and are fine with that.  Eventually the Legion WOULD find out about them, but naturally instead of being dickheads about it, fully accepted them, even offering them some contests for membership, but that’s a story for another day. THey’d remain stalwart allies and valuable backup in crisis situations for years to come until the bollocks outlined above. But they’d never leave my heart and thanks to them.. the legion never left either. 

Final Thoughts:  While I do love the story for it’s personal signifigance to me, It’s stilll a really good story for the time. A bit stilted as was the style, but still good, well paced and with an endaring cast of underdogs who prove themselves in the end. It’s something diffrent from the usual clean cut ahead in life wasps these stories usually followed at the time. While the team’s still all white and all that, their outcasts and misfits who just want to help and have trouble beliving in themselves. Their a good standard to live up to.. and a good inspiration for me and my constnatly self hating self doutbing self. And I hope you enjoyed htem too.  If you’d like to comission your own review, just dm me. It’s 5 bucks for individual issues. Later days. 

[a-collection-of-villainous-aus]

COFFEE AU PART 3

Section one of four

So here he was in this , laying in a plush four poster bed fit for a king, thick velvet curtains drawn, this was apparently a guess room...pfft sure it was, more like a room to keep your future bed fellow ...it was just as if he was waiting for that stupidly tall demon to come slinking in with his true intentions.

That had to be the price right, cause even though this was a guest bedroom, he'd been told it was his for as long as he stayed...begrudgingly he admitted that if he was not a monster who treated him like a toy under the sheets , the price would not be so harrowing for a warm place to stay and decent furnishings.

He had been through worse.

Done unpleasant favours that shamed his pride...and sometimes in some instances in this world you had to , to survive to the next day and fight for what you believed in, a couch or grime ridden motel room...and what would this pretty Legion think if he knew that?

Why did it matter, it shouldn't and still...

The small demon curled up, had fate finally given him a chance, or was this something simply tormenting him?

What was this even, out of nowhere he'd been practically handed a five star luxury suite, how was he just supposed to take that, what did this Legion son intend for him, did they not only choose rich beings to hang their arm around and help raise their...owners status.

In his time he had come across other Legion offshoots , nephews, cousins something or other twice removed...this one was a direct descendent, literally anyone even those already high in the chain of connections would scramble to be on the arm of this Legion...so why was there no mate here to try and kick him out the moment his sodden self had stepped through the doorway.

And what had he done when Acylius Flug spoken to him, that's right you guessed it, he'd acted his rude usual snappish self, leaving him even more confounded when the demon had been appreciative of his honesty.

Damn him, that idiot had smiled so warmly at him he'd felt his cheeks darken, no one had ever looked at him like that as if he were more than dirt or some unpleasant thing they'd stepped in...tomorrow he was going to attempt at being somewhat more pleasant, putting the pillow over his head Black Hat whined

"That idiot tree...why did he have to smile at me like that?"

EARLIER THAT DAY

The skies were gloomy and air thick, calm before the storm weather, hot sticky, uncomfortable.

Clearly change was simply biding its time, demons constantly looking up wondering if they would make it home or place of business before the downpour.

Dressed in fine clothes, to extravagant or flamboyant, a myriad of their kind , talons clicking on cobble stones mixed with voices all a jumble, dialects so different that some still needed translation, all of them were so tall in comparison of the one standing in the shadows, watching in silence.

A low class demon , who had gone from crawling bare in gutter muck, slithering through a world where his kind were used for relief and told they should be grateful for the disgusting meal that filled their scrawny bodies.

Most had accepted this fate believing it was all they would ever be and how things were supposed to be, but when it came time someone took their first attempt with him, oh he had made a meal of them alright, fangs sinking in as venom poured through their blood stream, grinning all through their cries and pleading for him to let go, of course no high class shit would admit that a low class parasite had gotten the best of them.

After that day even his own kind rejected him, not because he was different but they feared that his actions would lose their only foods sources besides scraps from the over flowing bins where flies fed first and here flies were not small buzzing pests.

Good, let them fear him, their scent of terror only spurred him on.

Never would he accept so easily a pathetic fate, he was destined for more than living in the sewers and being treated so poorly, if high-class demons wore clothes, so would he , he had decided after that day.

Finding clothes no longer desired in tips and tailors materials in which their own arrogance believed were irreparable with stains, if they could pull their heads from their asses they could have easily discovered home remedies that would remove such marks without damage, but that was their loss and his gain.

A feline demon with hair so red one wondered if hell beasts had taken blood and woven it into fine cascading waves that spilled over her shoulders and left the thundering rages power within her toxic green eyes to match the poison of all kindly given words as her skin compared to marble, she was only memorable at best simply because she'd been off her head on drink and needed someone to walk her home.

He had been daring enough to ask for needles and thread in return, which she'd laughed answering

"That's all....youuuu want...hic sure squirtling....spider thread an good needles for a bloke who didn't ask for me thighs."

Petting his head , seeing his cat ears thinking in her drunken stupor he was the same type of demon as she cooed over how cute they were, that was also the day he decided to wear a top hat.

He got her home as promised to the hotel and he'd honestly been surprised that the woman had kept her end of the deal, he had all manner of threads and needles that no...his eyes were not stinging because someone had actually been genuinely grateful not at all....

So now the clothes on his back, once considered rags and unwanted things now gave him a look of elegance, he seemed to have a knack of it and looking more suitable for work tried out as a tailors apprentice until he was kicked out for talking about rising in station and up into higher ranks.

Apparently that kind of talk was very dangerous.

What stupid cowardly creatures these demons were.

Talk of his goals had spread, warnings through physical and verbal means had been given, Black Hat held his side, ribs still bruised from the one he received from only the other day, grumbling to himself.

Time was growing short for him, the top had grown tired of his antics, once amused now only vexed by his existence , assassins would soon be sent out, they would make display of his corpse to be a reminder to those who did not remember their place in society.

He was aware of the whispers that even a Legion had been sent to find him and bring him in, nothing concrete , gossip was a regular thing , urgh Legions were usually spoiled pissy brats....please if he were to die , let it be by someone who would lavish in the kill and the spilling of his blood, not by some adult baby who whined at the slightest dirty mark.

Tired of watching civilization and reminiscing on his past and how he got to this place and situation, he turned back down into those streets he'd once crawled in , head now held high and the sound of his shoes clicking on the stones, perfect place to be ambushed but he would not die some whimpering with his tail between his legs.

His own kind or what once had been so recoiled at him, he was peculiar even to them, that only made him smile just enough to see the flash of green fangs, yes you drown in your filth, I will die a gentleman if I am to die this day.

He thought , shoulders back taking even more pride in what he had accomplished, it might not be much to the world but to him it was everything, at least he had tried and it was more than he could say for them.

If they had any drive at all, he'd rally them together, but one could easily read vermin, crawl, eat, breed survive even if it meant eating the young for food, his venomous fangs were a mutation that was never supposed to be there.

Yes he may as well be a pebble thrown into the raging rivers....and yet what if he was the stone, that skipped across the surface , starting a ripple of change , one day someone else might remember him if only to say unlike him I will succeed either way, it will and would be because of what he started, there was something pleasing about that thought , to still be a thorn in their side after death.

[tanadrin]

@awryen replied to your post:

You lost me on the draenei

Sorry, but I got Opinions on the Draenei.

The first Warcraft game I played was Warcraft 2; it was formative in that it gave me my lifelong love of RTS games, plus, I really enjoyed the backstory--this was back when games came in big boxes, with big manuals and tons of lore and art and flavor text sprinked throughout them, a lot like a D&D manual or something. The Orc backstory is given in extensive detail, in the voice of Gul’dan, and starts thus:

Like an elemental force of havoc and destruction we thundered through the lands of the Draenei devastating all that we beheld. Not one life was spared. No building was left standing. The only traces of their existence were the blood-soaked fields they had worked for nearly five thousand years and the rank, acrid smell of the huge victory fires that consumed the bodies of their young. The Draenei were a weak people - hardly worth the effort of our raiding sweep. In the end, however, even these simple victories serve to keep the inferior in their place...

This is before the retcon of the Orcs in WC3 (which was actually a pretty good move! Props to Metzen where it’s due, not all his retcons are bad, some open up the story a lot), and for all of Warcraft 2, including the Beyond the Dark Portal expansion (where we saw the mushroom-tree’d, blasted landscape of Draenor for the first time) and Warcraft 3, until the Blood Elf campaign in the expansion, we assumed the Draenei had been exterminated. There was no other lore on them: they served only as a cipher to establish how (in WC2) brutal and terrifying the Horde was, or (in WC3) part of the horror of atrocity that the Orcs had to confront even as they were being led by a new kind of Warchief, for the first time in two generations.

On top of this, we had Draenor as a dying world, a post-apocalyptic place that we see again only as Outland, when it’s been shattered so thoroughly its remnants are floating in the Twisting Nether. There’s a real touch of pathos in that, an emotional arc for the Orcs and a grim warning about the havoc wreaked by seeking power too greedily.

But then, when Kael’thas comes to Outland, and is looking for allies. Then the Draenei step out of the shadows.

And that’s what you see in Warcraft 3. That picture shows the in-game unit model (sorry, graphics were not great in 2003). As befits an alien world, they are emphatically alien. They are even sinister, to our perhaps prejudiced eyes, a little dangerous-looking. Not evil, not at all; but you get the distinct impression of lost souls, tormented souls, souls plagued with the grief of the destruction of their civilization, overwhelmed by the memory of what was and might have been.

That’s really interesting! When I was a kid, poring over the backstory of WC2 repeatedly, I guess I always imagined the Draenei as vaguely humanlike, except maybe a touch more gracile and very peaceful. The WC3 Draenei were a shock, but a welcome one, like a delicious little plot twist. Oh, yes, their genocide was a terrible evil, but--and this is an important point--suffering does not make us more noble.

This is an important point because it’s true. Because in reality, when you take an ordinary person and you make them suffer--when you trap them in poverty, when you afflict them with trauma, in short, when you teach them that the world hurts and is out to hurt them personally, well, they internalize that lesson. They make it part of their identity. They learn to defend themselves. And the result isn’t always pretty, but it is eminently sympathetic. And then Burning Crusade was released, and we got this:

Sexy/buff magic space goats who are to a man and woman noble warriors of the Light, with the Draenei we had seen before (with, mind, zero indication til now that they were in any way exceptional for being Draenei) retconned as always-chaotic-evil corrupted-by-bad-magic murder machines. That might make them more appealing as a playable race (but, cf. the Forsaken), but it guts the emotional core of the Draenei as a plot device. Worse, the Draenei have a direct line to the primordial history of the Burning Legion, being related to the Eredar, and their leader is the immortal former member of the triumvirate that ruled Argus, which... well, I think long-running series like Warcraft have this problem where sometimes they pile too much plot relevance on one character or one story element (you really saw this in the Star Wars EU, where it got so bad characters like Han Solo and the main movie cast basically had done literally everything of any importance), and it makes the universe feel smaller and the plot feel more contrived.

I am firmly of the opinion the Draenei worked better as an autochthonous race of Draenor (and maybe the autochthonous race, depending on how you do the Orcs’ backstory), and are definitely more interesting that way. I actually think you could drop the Draenei as they were in WC3 into the WoW world and it would be super interesting--they would be eager members of the Alliance against the Orcs, they’d be shamans and rogues and maybe even hunters, and if you wanted them to be paladins--well, why not? Exploring how a society capable of producing paladins kept its faith in the Light even after being nearly wiped out, or how a shattered society found faith in the Light, and the tension between that faith and the reduced existence of the Draenei would be fascinating.

And what of the Orcs? How does someone like Varok Saurfang, who doesn’t deal much in regret but clearly hates the memories of the atrocities he committed years ago, how does he deal with that? What happens when the first Draenei (still angry, still nursing the grief of the death of everything dear to them) meets the first Orc of the new Horde (still proud, now confronted by the living image of their peoples’ worst deeds)? That would be an amazing story, but I feel like it’s never really been told.

To be clear, I think there’s moments when Metzen and Co. absofuckinglutely nailed it. The conversation between Saurfang and Garrosh in Northrend is one, of course (gives me chills just thinking about it). The conversation between Bolvar Fordragon and Tirion Fordring on top of ICC is another. (”Now go. Leave this place--AND NEVER RETURN.” Gaah. I could write another whole essay on why I think Bolvar as the Lich King was a triumphant move.) I’m a Sylvanas stan at heart, and so of course I think they’ve usually done very well with her character, too. And there have been skillful retcons--the history of Azeroth, making the heart of the world a nascent Titan, giving Sargeras a more complex motivation than “demons made me insane, grr kill everything,” and even in moments of genuine plot incoherence (Time Travel Draenor, makes me so mad) there are flashes of skillful worldbuilding (the war between the Draenei and the Orcs again in that timeline--but this time the Draenei are conquering the Orcs).

But geez. They did my boy Akama dirty, and if I ever meet Chris Metzen in person, he is getting an earful.

[callunawrites]

By the grace of the fire and the flames You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins

Heather’s Top 25 38 Songs of 2017!

saturn — sleeping at last // run baby run — the rigs // the brothel (lidolido remix) — susanne sundfør // can’t pretend — tom odell // capsize — frenship // undiscovered first — feist // feeling good (bassnectar remix) — nina simone // kings — tribe society // river — bishop // human — rag’n’bone man // believer — imagine dragons // feel it still — portugal. the man // girl, you’ll be a woman soon — rafferty // wise enough — lamb // say you’ll be there — MØ // holiest — glass animals // the greatest — sia // bogeyman — johnny hollow // to be human — sia // strangers — halsey // cities in dust — everlove // history — monakr // messiah — prides // i shall rise — karen o // in the sea — ingrid michaelson // i put a spell on you — annie lennox //  personal yeezus — chambaland // gold — imagine dragons // which witch — florence & the machine // thunder — imagine dragons // take me to church — hozier // trouble — valerie broussard // pure feeling — florence & the machine // battle royale — apashe // i may fall — casey williams // not today — bts // is this love — the governors //  sweet dreams — mark hadley ft. dresage

short version | long version

So, the thing is, this mix was originally a whopping 262 songs. That’s 17 hours of delving into my headspace. I know this because the mix in full can be found on spotify, for those adventurous enough. By the end of the year, there may even be more!

The original 200+ can also be found in month format, for those that don’t feel like dealing with... all that. I’m actually a little sad that I don’t get to talk about every single one of them, though I’m sure it would have gotten tedious in the end.

i. saturn || sleeping at last I’d give anything to hear You say it one more time, That the universe was made Just to be seen by my eyes.

This was, according to my last.fm data, my second most played song of 2017. Well, third if we count the song that racked up 10,000 plays because I left it looping on my computer for a week. Whoops. These first four songs on this mix are my Mcshep songs. But also, Sleeping At Last is lovely. There’s several other songs by them on the full mix, but this one is by far my favorite. ii. run baby run || the rigs So wait, keep your heart inside  My hands won't keep it safe I'll just feed on dreams & smile as hope slowly dies. 

And here we have my most played song of 2017, which I’ve basically been listening to nonstop ever since I discovered @randommindtime‘s Mcshep fanvid. It is absolutely earthshaking, entirely haunting, and just all around a beautiful song that describes John Sheppard and all of his issues to a T. 

iii. the brothel (lidolido remix) || susanne sundfør We are ruins within ruins On every corner a gladiator is begging for another century

I’m not sure why this is such a Mcshep song in my mind since I first discovered it as part of a really ridiculously awesome X-Files vid, but my guess is it got thrown into a playlist between two Mcshep songs and was forever that in my head. Fun fact, I only recently, when making the spotify version of this playlist, listened to the original version of the song.  iv. can’t pretend || tom odell Oh, feel our bodies grow, And our souls they blend. This song is the only song that has made it onto all three of my year-in-review mixes. I originally found it in 2015 as part of a Bioshock vid and then last year I rediscovered it in the form of @randommindtime‘s other amazing Mcshep vid. And honestly? I haven’t stopped listening to it since. I have no doubt that it’ll be on 2018′s mix as well. v. capsize || frenship Capsize, I'm first in the water Too close to the bottom I'm right back where I started Said I'm fine I found this song through either a Stydia or a Sterek gifset. I’m like... 90% sure that it was Stydia, because it was around the time that season... 6? came out? Whichever one that Stiles is taken in, and thematically it works pretty well for it. But, I’m equally sure I’ve seen a Sterek gifset for the same song. Whatever. It’s pretty and I like it. vi. undiscovered first || feist The height and the breadth, is it wrong to want more?

Gosh. Okay. So, Legion. Mindfuckery of a show that can basically be summed up in words like “acid trip” and “dance numbers?” and “omg aubrey plaza.” It was brilliant and horrifying and really, really cool. But what’s more, it had the best fucking music. The 8tracks version of the mix only has two songs from the show, but the full mix on spotify has six or seven.  vii. feeling good (bassnectar remix) || nina simone It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me And I'm feelin' good

This was the second song that I found through Legion. I mean, I’d heard the song before, but holy fucking shit. Like, I knew that I was attracted to Aubrey Plaza, but there’s every other character she’s ever played, and then there’s this role.

viii. kings || tribe society Lost in the world full of nonbelievers Searching for smoke in a stillwater pond A nothing king, they called a dreamer This is my life and I call it a song This and the next song I actually found because I had queued up feeling good on youtube while driving home from my friend’s house after watching that particular episode of legion, and youtube did that thing where it automatically queued up music afterwards? Only I lucked out that night, because the next six or seven songs were absolutely amazing. This was my favorite of those songs and quickly became my Horizon Zero Dawn theme song. ix. river || bishop Can't change the way we are One kiss away from killing

Another of the songs that I found that night! This one also got a lot of play while playing Horizon Zero Dawn.  x. human || rag’n’bone man 'Cause I'm no prophet or messiah You should go looking somewhere higher This song I’d originally found through the Mass Effect Andromeda trailer but it quickly became a favorite of mine.  xi. believer || imagine dragons By the grace of the fire and the flames You're the face of the future, the blood in my veins Even though this song has been in basically every fanvid since it came out, this was also solidly a Mass Effect Andromeda song for me, since I listened to it a bunch when I was playing the game. It’s one of the songs that I actually don’t mind coming on at work. xii. feel it still || portugal. the man Ooh woo, I'm a rebel just for kicks, now I been feeling it since 1966, now

I actually found this song before it got popular! The first time that it played at work/on the radio I was blown away, but I think the first time I’d heard it was on American Gods? At least I found it when I was watching the show. xiii. girl, you’ll be a woman soon || rafferty Well, I finally found what I've been looking for But if they get a chance they'll end it for sure Okay, so for anyone who is paying attention to this who lives in Columbus, I get my hair done at Virtue Salon, which is basically the best salon in the entire world. Even if you don’t live in Columbus, click on that link. Look at those pictures and tell me that isn’t the most adorable salon in the entire world. They have the best playlists every time I go in, and though I am not super fond of some of the lyrics to this song, I really love the slow croonyness to it. That was a really great day. xiv. wise enough || lamb I had a dream that all of time was running dry And life was like a comet falling from the sky I woke so frightened in the dawning, oh, so clear How precious is the time we have here

I first heard this song on the second season of Sense8 and I was struck by just how damn beautiful it is. It almost didn’t make this final list, but in the end I couldn’t count it out. xv. say you’ll be there || mo Any fool can see they're falling, gotta make you understand I'll give you everything on this I swear Just promise you'll always be there

I don’t actually remember what fanmix I originally found this on, but I remember that I was at the intersection of Clime and Harrisburg-Pike just outside the fire station when I realized that it was a gentle, gorgeous cover of a Spice Girls song and basically fell immediately in love.  xvi. holiest || glass animals Yeah, you're the holiest, holiest thing I know This song I found as part of this mix, which is basically a young holy lovers mix and just. has so much quality music. But this song was the first that really made me start looking at Glass Animals. I’d heard some of their stuff before, but never when I was paying attention, not enough for me to decide if I liked them or not. Up until the last month or so, this was my top played track. xvii. the greatest || sia Don't give up, I won't give up Don't give up, no no no

Yeah, there’s no story here. I just really like Sia. xviii. bogeyman || johnny hollow And now I'm dancing for the doomed and the damned And I'm advancing unassumed with dirty hands

Someone I follow on tumblr had reblogged this song back in the spring-summer months when I was feeling very aggressively reylo, and I just. I really like that fairytale where the innocent girl grows up and eats the monster. It’s a favorite of mine and part of the reason that I like pairings like reylo and darklina. xix. to be human || sia And what's the point of knowin' it If you can't change it?

This song came on at the end of Wonder Woman and I made my friend Alex wait until I’d listened to it before I let him leave the theater. I fell pretty rapidly in love with it. xx. strangers || halsey We're not lovers, we're just strangers With the same damn hunger To be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all I won’t say that this is my favorite song off of Halsey’s new album, because that goes to Mourning, but it is the song that I listened to most. I’ve been toying with the idea of an original novel since around the time the album came out, and this song came on while I was plotting some of it out in my head. I really hope I end up writing it. xxi. cities in dust || everlove Your former glories and all the stories Dragged and washed with eager hands But oh, your city lies in dust, my friend  I think the first time that I heard this cover it was when I discovered this mix back in 2015. It was a mix for Holland from the Darker Shade of Magic series, but I ended up going back and listening to the mix again while I was reading the third book in the series. While driving to work one day, I realized how utterly perfect it was for Dishonored, and basically compiled my mix, the salt water sting, over the course of that day.

xxii. history || monakr Oh… when they write of us in history  lauded only for our victory  They don't never tell, never fail to tell They don't ever tell Oh…. other side in history 

So, back in the summer I read Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run, and it was absolutely fantastic. But in my humble opinion, the soundtrack that I discovered was somehow even better. I had to limit myself to only two songs from it on here, but a good half of them are on the spotify version.

xxiii. messiah || prides You don't have to lock the door I don't live there anymore.

This is the second song that I chose from that playlist, mostly because it ended up being the lucky track that had an extra play. 

xxiv. i shall rise || karen o They'll know my name When they've forgotten all about you 

I found this song well before I actually started regularly listening to it, and it ended up getting played around the time that I was mining for Dishonored songs for that mix, and those lyrics just called to me. Also, y’know, it’s a really great song. xxv. in the sea || ingrid michaelson No no don't rescue me I like the salt water sting

Another Dishonored song, this was obviously the song - and line - that gave me the title for the mix itself. I think I’d originally heard it as part of a Jaspis mix. xxvi. i put a spell on you || annie lennox I put a spell on you Because you're mine Okay, but this song in Annie Lennox’s smokey gorgeous voice just made me think of gay woodland witches and it was one of the best discoveries of 2017. xxvii. personal yeezus || chambaland Baby we livin' in the moment I've been a menace for the longest But I ain't finished, I'm devoted And you know it, and you know it 

Okay, so let’s talk about Atomic Blonde. It wasn’t the best movie I’ve seen this year, but it appealed to a very visceral, gay part of me and ever since I saw this trailer I was basically in love. I’m sorry, but if you weren’t at least a little gay before watching Charlize Theron have a torrid love affair with Sofia Boutella while simultaneously kicking ass and taking names... you will be.

xxviii. gold | imagine dragons Statues and empires are all at your hands, Water to wine and the finest of sands. When all that you have's turning stale and it's cold, Oh, you'll no longer feel when your heart's turned to gold. I... don’t remember when I first listened to this. I think it was at work? But I saw some really good fanvids, and honestly? I should probably just admit at this point that I just love everything that Imagine Dragons comes out with.

xxix. which witch | florence & the machine Who's a heretic, child? Can you make it stick, now that I'm on trial

I am like 500% sure that I fell in love with this song because @kaikamahine said something about it, because I first started listening to it around the time that I realized Fantastic Beasts had a fandom.

xxx. thunder | imagine dragons Just a young gun with a quick fuse I was uptight, wanna let loose I was dreaming of bigger things And wanna leave my old life behind

Yeah, I just liked it. Also, there have been some really awesome Thor vids to this since Ragnarok came out.

xxxi. take me to church | hozier Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life

I wasn’t actually sure that I still listened to this often enough to add it, but last.fm tells me that it’s my fourth most played song. I mean, it’s a great song, and you can be damn sure that if in a twist of fate Hozier releases an album next year, every single one of those songs will be on the 2018 mix, but it has been a bit.

xxxii. trouble | valerie broussard Dangerously having the time of our lives These boys are just poisonous thorns in our sides Starting fires wherever we go Watching em gamble everything they own I’m just going to direct you to this animation and wail about Six of Crows a lot. Weirdly enough, I think I actually prefer the unfinished version of it. Some bits hadn’t been added yet, but I really love the grittiness of it.

xxxiii. pure feeling | florence & the machine Those strangers carry me I'm lost; they're finding me I... don’t actually remember where I found this one. It probably has to do with @kaikamahine. Either way, I have listened to it A LOT.

xxxiv. battle royale | apashe Work on 'em put a little work on 'em Trigger finger in the air I put a little dirt on 'em

This song is stupid awesome to blare while driving home from work a little fast at 2 in the morning. Also, y’know, it’s just great in general. See, Steve Rogers agrees. Also, oh my gosh, there’s a new Black Panther one.

xxxv. i may fall | casey williams There's a place where we'll stand outnumbered Where the wolves and the soulless will rise In the time of our final moments Every dream dies

So, sometime in the last few months I let my roommate talk me into watching RWBY. I’ve been less than interested in the past because I’m an animation snob and I just... couldn’t. But I marathoned the whole series in like a week. There were three songs that stood out to me, but this song is actually the one that made me finally break down and give it a chance.

xxxvi. not today | bts All the underdogs in the world A day may come when we lose But it is not today Today we fight!

SCREECHING NOISES. MORE SCREECHING NOISES. I’m sorry, but it has to have become apparent by now that my musical tastes are influenced almost entirely by fandom, but fanvids in particular. This song is the BEST pump up song that I’ve found in years.

xxxvii. is this love | the governors Did you think this was love Is love a future of your kind Don't you think I would mind If I would wasted all my time I can't love if you lie This song. Made my year. It’s dark and sexy and a little fucked up, and came around when I was in the middle of reading the Grisha Trilogy and struggling with just how hard Darklina was hitting on every single one of my kinks.

xxxviii. sweet dreams | mark hadley ft. dresage I travel the world And the seven seas, Everybody's looking for something. 

This cover came out as part of the Wrinkle In Time trailer and I fell really, stupidly in love. This was actually a last minute addition, because I couldn’t stand it not being on here.

[pyropsychiccollector]

Natza Week, Day Four: Envy

“How do you do it?”

            The question was posed so tactlessly, on what seemed like just another any other day in the Guildhall. Natsu and the guys were brawling, Mirajane was watching them in amusement, Lucy was whining about needing rent money, Cana was drinking enough to make Bacchus tipsy… And Evergreen approached her out of the blue. Yes, she had that obsession of laying claim to the Titania title, but the lady of the Thunder Legion had a tendency to avoid her unless there was some competition going on.

            “How do I do what…?” Erza asked calmly as she ate her strawberry cheesecake. Nothing soothed her more. Well. Almost nothing.

            “Don’t play coy!” The hazel-head huffed exasperatedly, pointing accusingly at the knight. “I’m talking about you and that hotheaded pet boy of yours!”

            “’Pet boy’?” Erza parroted blankly, having no idea who Evergreen was referring to.

            “The dragon! The one you take sooo much pride in!” Evergreen elaborated impatiently. It took Erza a few moments to connect the dots before her face matched the color of her hair.

            “N-Natsu’s not a pet…!” She was most certainly not imagining certain naughty bedroom scenarios as she squawked indignantly.

            “And Elfman’s not a musclebound oaf who harps on the virtues of manhood. Every day.” Evergreen rolled her eyes and scoffed. “I can read between the lines, Titania. You’ve trained that boy well~.”

            “Th-That’s not…!” Erza spluttered, her imagination clearly getting the better of her. The knight’s cake was long forgotten now. She shook her head vigorously and took a deep, calming breath. “W-What about Natsu…?”

            “I just want to know your guys’ secret.” The Eye Magic user repeated casually, gesturing vaguely with one arm while the other was on her hip. “You two aren’t even married yet, and you make it seem like every day you’re rekindling your relationship, like it just started again, even though it’s been months now. I’ve never seen you two lose your passion; it’s like the very notion of being together never gets boring. That all you’ll ever ‘need’ is each other.”

            Okay, she might’ve been sugarcoating it a little… But damn if it wasn’t mostly true. Evergreen knew she wasn’t imagining it; even before they were dating, Natsu and Erza had this ‘thing’ going on… A bond that transcended friendship. A bond hotter than the infernos of hell, and was only getting hotter over time.

            … Evergreen was jealous of them. She really was. Why did she have to get saddled with a muscleman that could be so insensitive at times? He could be so slow on the uptake, too…

            Erza had gone rigid as her mouth opened and closed uncontrollably. This was a completely new experience for her – someone that clearly had no interest in Natsu, but was envious of their relationship all the same. She couldn’t get mad about this. Evergreen was being perfectly reasonable. But… But… Erza didn’t want to answer! This was their thing! Something they struggled for. Giving the “secret” out freely would… cheapen it. Even though she wished the best for everyone in Fairy Tail.

            “Well, Erza? What is your dirty little secret~?” Mira taunted as she leaned over the bar counter between Erza and Evergreen. Erza puffed out her cheeks as she glared at the barmaid. Now she definitely didn’t want to say. That succubus wasn’t going to steal Natsu away from her…!

            Evergreen sighed as she waved her hand in the air vaguely.

            “If you don’t want to talk about the mushy ‘we know each other so well’ crap, that’s fine.” The hazel-haired woman said dismissively. “I know you and that hothead well enough to know you two don’t always get along. I just want to know how you get past the times when he’s a colossal buffoon. Like… how’s your bedroom action? Does he compensate that way?”

            Erza’s eyes bulged at the very direct and personal question, and even Mira sweatdropped at Evergreen’s tactlessness. You put it bluntly like that, and Erza has no chance of misinterpreting the question. Oh, this was going to be dreadfully amusing no matter how Erza answered.

            “I... He… Natsu… me…” Erza stumbled over her own words, but unfortunately, Gray cut in before she could get too wound up.

            “Pfft. Erza and Flamebrain? Physical? You’d think they would be, but me ‘n Luce haven’t noticed anything.” The Ice mage scratched the side of his head casually from where he was sitting, a little bit away from the bar counter. Naturally, he was topless again.

            “Speak for yourself!” Lucy grumbled sourly. “You didn’t have to come home to find them using your tub because they were waiting for you!”

            Gray shrugged.

            “We always use your apartment as a place to meet up, though.”

            “And normal people call that breaking and entering!” Lucy groused.

            “Guys, guys, we’re getting sidetracked here~!” Cana exclaimed, garnering a twitch from the scarlet knight. “Since we don’t know if they bump uglies, we should set up a betting pool! It’s not like Erza’s gonna talk!”

            While Erza spluttered indignantly, Evergreen huffed stubbornly.

            “I suppose you have a point…” Then, ever so casually, she added, “Put me down for thirty thousand Jewel on ‘they’re doing it’, and I’ll get you the money later.”

            Cana whooped as she made a note of it, and started scribbling like a madwoman as other Guild members started chiming in. Of course, Erza didn’t like that, and loudly voiced her disapproval... But the organized chaos only stopped when Natsu was sent crashing into the bar counter beside the girls from one of Elfman’s punches. Natsu bounced back with his usual energy, but he paused as he got a look at Erza’s flustered face.

            “Hey, guys~! What’s goin’ on?”

            Mira grinned devilishly, and Erza opened her mouth to interject, but it was like the barmaid had been ready for Natsu to wind up near them, and had her line out before Erza could say two words.

            “Oh, we were just talking about how good you were in bed~. How would you rate her, Natsu?” Mira beamed like she asked how the weather was. Such a pleasant, innocent smile…

            And Natsu was so nice to actually answer.

            “Well, she’s a bit of a masochist when we really get going. And she’s got this really adorable face when-” But Natsu could say no more as his lovely scarlet knight knocked him out cold. It was too late, though – the damage had been done.

            “Bit of a masochist, eh?” Evergreen grinned triumphantly even in the face of a fuming, humiliated Titania.

            “…” Erza would not give them the satisfaction of any more details. She robotically resumed eating her cake.

            “Maybe if I ask nicely, Natsu will show me how he is in bed.” Mira teased. “It’s not like you’re talking about it, and I really wanna know~.”

            That did it. Erza stood up, plate in one hand, and stooped down to grab the Dragon Slayer by the scruff of his scarf before dragging him out of the Guildhall. The succubus had humiliated them enough for one day, and they would not be coming back for a job for a while… Because Erza could afford to be petty, and she needed to remind Natsu how much of a ‘masochist’ she was, and how you were not supposed to tell others about your ‘private time’. Especially when it involved your significant other.

            Keeping her dragon away from that succubus’s grubby hands was merely a side benefit. Yes. Because Erza liked to have her cake and eat it, too, and you did not share your ‘cake’ in this instance.

[d-clarence]

Samurai Jack Episode CI Headcanon/Fanfic

I’ve brought this up on an Ask and another post I reblogged, but I just got the motivation to fully flesh it out and type it out while it is still fresh in my mind.

Warning, potentially spoiler heavy and quite a lengthy post!

- — -

*Imagine the final battle with Jack’s forces against Aku’s at the latter’s fortress. Jack’s allies have rescued Jack from captivity and he recovered his sword.*

The Fate of the entire Universe hangs in the Balance as Samurai Jack faces Aku.

The plan was simple. Circle around Aku's fearsome tower fortress as a distraction force against Aku while Samurai Jack got in close enough to vanquish Aku. The Scotsman’s new army has assembled together for what may be their last battle. Their forces are consisting of many of the people Jack affected in his life, including the Archers, Woolies, and even Da Sa-Moo-Rai’s rag-tag group from his bar. The face off will be against seemingly never ending legions of Aku’s Beetle Drones, interstellar bounty hunters, and his summoned minions taking place outside in the crater surrounding Aku’s fearsome tower fortress. However, Jack's objective was side tracked as he was forced to face off Corrupted Ashi as Aku watches from his throne cackling in mad laughter.

“Yes… the simplest solution is usually the best one…” Aku mused.

“Ashi! You can’t let it end this way! Please Ashi, fight!” Jack begged.

The Samurai tried desperately to get Ashi to fight the corruption controlling her, but to no avail. Her whip-like attacks from her new limbs toss Jack around as he cringed at every slash from his blade that made her scream in agony as tendril after tendril, burned away to ash and regenerated at an astonishing pace.

“Aah! I… can’t! You have to kill me, Jack! There is no other way! Don’t let me live like this!” Ashi screamed as she temporarily broke away, tears pouring from her eyes, only to be silenced by the blackness of Aku’s curse.

As a powerful backhand sends Jack flying into a stone pillar of fire, he sees his situation. His hair was let loose in a mess and precious gi was completely torn off at the top half and bloodied and tattered from the waist to the bottom. Slashes, bruises and blood seeped from his wounds, and the love of his life utterly lost to Aku’s will as the demon smugly folds his gargantuan arms from his throne.

There is only one way.

No. There has to be another.

But it is what she wanted.

She needs to fight harder!

But she can’t.

Please. Grant her peace. You know what you have to do.

Ashi sprung forward, lunging at Jack as he in turn raised his sword at the ready, fighting back tears that still rolled down his blood-smeared and dirty countenance.

“Forgive me…” he whispered one last time.

He likewise sprung forward thrusting his sword, when the unexpected happened.

Seeing that Jack will be the victor, Aku did the one thing that would break his eternal adversary’s sanity. The one thing that would top all of the evil acts Aku ever did in existence.

As the lovers charged and were about to make contact, Aku pulled his influence and essence from Ashi leaving her in her former human state, in the drab prison outfit and black boots she wore beforehand. She didn’t know at first why she still ran to Jack, arms outstretched above her head. Confusion struck both their faces.

Then it hit her.

Tip pierced flesh. Blade pushed through. Her insides shredded as the sword went through her for what felt like an eternity, but twas only a moment. With a resounding crunch and snap, the sword drenched in her blood shot through her spine and out her back. The deed was done.

“No…” Jack whispered. He wanted all of this to be nothing more than a nightmare, but no, it was more real than ever. He drove his mighty sword through her to the hilt.

Tears welled up in both of their eyes. He let go of the blade as she staggered and began to fall for the last time. Jack caught her, right arm around her waist, left hand around the side of her neck. He saw she was losing focus and felt her pulse began to slow down.

The pain was too much for her to bear as it shot through her abdomen. She couldn’t feel her limbs anymore. The last thing she felt was his blade.

Blood pooled around them in the crimson floor of Aku’s chamber as he smiled in content.

She tried to speak, to give her final words of forgiveness, gratitude, and love to Jack, but she only coughed out blood and gurgled. Over 50 years of combat experience couldn’t prepare him for this.

“No no no! Ashi… I’m so sorry!” he cried as rivers spilled down his face and his voice cracked. She was done for.

The lovers shared one more solid look in each other’s eyes as he cradled her, she could only give a faint smile to Jack before the light in her eyes went away. The smile dropped.

Ashi lies dead in her lover’s arms.

“Hahahahahaha! Foolish Samurai!” Aku thundered. “Did you really think that you really deserved her? Star-crossed lovers is what you both were! Never meant to be, never will be!” The taunts persisted.

Samurai Jack held her lifeless body close, hoping for a miracle, but that never came.

“I’m… so… sorry…” he cried as he buried his face next to hers.

Aku’s laugh echoed through the inner sanctum as the tower shook from the battle outside. Explosions that were barely audible resounded in their ears. Aku headed over to show Jack the true weight of his failure. He pulled down what seemed to be a zipper on the wall as it opened with a mysterious hiss.

Jack could only helplessly look up at how much worse things were going.

The window opened to a horiffic sight. The battle was not going well. Despite the growing mounds of corpses of Aku’s terrible horde, it was a desperate fight for survival for Jack’s men and women. Their ammunition began to run dry, their blades ran dull. Bloody pools of reds, blues, and greens mixed with the black of Aku’s sentries littered the battlefront. Screams and shouts were drowned out by the clatter of bladed, mechanical legs. Several legions began to retreat. Lone survivors lingered in a dazed and shocked awe, some missing limbs, others searching for loved ones buried in the corpses.

Hope was lost.

The black demon bent down, facing Jack, a devilish green smile that stretched before him. “Annihilating your scum will set an example to all who dare oppose Aku!” He rose and laughed maniacally once more.

Enough.

Jack collected himself as his rage fueled high. He clenched his fists and he let out a yell that might as well have been heard around the world.

“AAAKUUUUU!!!!!!!” Jack pulled out his sword from Ashi’s gut as her limp body fell back into her pool of blood. He didn’t bother giving her a second look as he jumped high in the air, sword held above his head, about to strike.

Aku was too absorbed in what he perceived to be his victory to realize what came down upon him.

Jack screamed and brought the blade crashing down on the cursed demon, slicing down from his neck to the ground. The wisps of darkness burned to ash and blew away.

They both came crashing down as the evil one attempted to retaliate, sending scores of his black tendrils after the Samurai, only for them to be cut down with precision and ease. Eventually, only his upper torso and left arm was left, him weakly gripping the pillar behind him that he rested his head on.

“Heh heh heh… killing me won’t undo the past, nor bring back your sweet Ashi.” he proudly, but weakly spat. “My unspeakable evil has reached through the stars and eons!”

“No.” the Samurai said. He pointed his sword at him and shouted, “your unspeakable evil ends today! The present and future shall flourish in your absence!”

Jack yelled and leaped once more and drove the sacred blade between Aku’s eyes and twisted. The devil screamed and convulsed as his body lit and burned away to ash. The reign of Aku’s terror was finally over.

Slowly coming back to his senses, Jack calmly sheathed his sword and turned away. He almost let the madness drive him again, but not this time. He turned to Ashi and met her eyes once more, still wide open and the tears that cascaded down her face were dried and present. He closed her beautiful, lifeless eyes gently as he planted a kiss in her now cold lips and picked her up on front of him in his exhausted arms. Her blood dripped from her wound, further staining what was left of Jack’s gi. She’s become another memory, another casualty. Just as he feared.

He marched onwards to the front gate that opened to the light of the outside world. Much to Jack’s surprise, a miracle occured! He wondered in the back of his mind how he was going to go through the remnants of the armies of Aku, but no more thought was necessary. The beetle drones, the destroyers of many, were all offline! The bots fell and lay where they once stood. The remaining minions and mercenaries scattered in panic and retreat in realizing their main support was lost for good. Loud cheering echoed with the machine gun fire, sword clashing, and explosions that rocked the barren wasteland. It seems that when Aku died, his control over his machines and minons vanished as well, leaving them either permanently disabled or lost and demoralized.

Many of Jack’s friends came over charging and dealing with the stragglers with ease.

“At least they made it.” Jack sighed and looked down on his love. “Oh, how I wish you could see this, Ashi…”

The first to arrive was Flora and some of her sisters. They were hurt from battle, but that didn't sour their spirit. “Woohoo! We hit them right in their daddy bags!” she cheered. Many others joined in.

But when she looked at Jack, her joy dropped harder than a boulder off a cliff. The others came around to their hero.

“Jack… What happened?” Flora inquired. Her father, the Scotsman, appeared behind her in shock of the scene before him.

“I defeated Aku, but it came at a terrible price. Ashi is gone.” he calmly spoke.

“Jack… I’m so sorry… I…” the Scotsman apologized.

“No.” Jack interrupted. “You both have nothing to be sorry for. This is a great victory, and we all gave our lives and more to make sure it happened.”

Flora took charge and carried Ashi’s body respectfully from Jack’s arms. She could only offer a smile for him. Her father said, “We’ll make sure this lass gets a proper funeral, laddie!”

“Thank you.” the depression clear in his voice as he walked away, head down. He couldn’t bear seeing the one he loved so much taken away from him. They all wanted to offer him support, but couldn’t. He always left before anyone could.

He walked on seeing rebels, soldiers, knights, Spartans, and civilians from many cultures and races cheering and raising their worn weapons in victory. Others scrambled to tend to the survivors, the grieving, and the wounded. The most prominent was Olivia, from the village of kids Jack saved from a rave cult decades earlier. She slung her father’s old, beaten hunting rifle on her back and jumped atop a tall mound of robot corpses. Despite the blood from her bandaged injuries, she still rose her hands high and proclaimed,

“Samurai Drop!!!”

The crowds around rose their hands in the signature “S” shape and sang their song of praise and danced the Samurai.

In any other day, Jack would have admired, even joined in on the display, but now was different. This war cost so many, and he lost too much now. He lost his Empire and parents. He lost many of those who fought alongside him. Now, he lost his one chance at true love in his disastrous and lonely life in an instant. He walked on, the crowds’ cheering left them unaware of his sudden departure.

As he reached the edge of the crater where the limits of Aku’s fortress began, he saw a figure, standing at the edge, observing him. Jack gripped his sword at the sight of this unknown man. One of Aku’s minions? No. He was something more. Upon better observation, he noticed the following:

Tall and well-built, in a black bodysuit, clearly worn from combat. He wore a raggedy cloak that covered his chest, part of his head, and flowed to the wind from his back. He carried in one hand, a large katana that sported a red and black diamond pattern on the hilt, the blade dripping black from the oil of the drones. On the other, he shouldered a large silver and chrome plated heavy machine gun, barrel smoking from use and magazine half-empty. His face was expressionless, but seemed familiar. Blue skin, bald and covered his eyes with cracked red sunglasses.

“Could it be?” Jack wondered.

Before he could investigate further, the figure turned and walked away. He gave chase, and when he reached the edge and looked, the man was gone, except for a trail of footprints that continued for as far as the eye can see to the northeast.

“There’s nothing there except for…” before Jack could continue, a faint pillar of light emerged from the distance. Dark storm clouds collected around the faint sparkle and thundered.

Upon realizing the obvious, he spake to himself, “This could be my one chance to set things right. For Ashi, for everyone.”

Near him, he found several discarded transports his army used to get to battle, among them was a motorcycle very similar to the one he drove for many years. Upon inspection, the engine worked, hull was intact, and there’s more than enough fuel to get over to the light.

As he headed off with newfound vigor in his spirit, he mouthed the phrase that became his mantra,

“Gotta get back, back to the past… Samurai Jack…”

[fallen029]

Firsts.9

As it turned out, Laxus wasn't grounded. He just had to promise to Mirajane that he wouldn't fight with her brother as much and that he wouldn't be so grouchy all the time. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek and sent him on his way.

Not that he was the best person to deal with on the trip. The Thunder Legion was on high alert to his attitude, but luckily, it wasn't an overly complex job. They got home as soon as possible, Laxus grumbling the whole way about how much he hated having to be in Magnolia because that meant that he had to spend time with Mira.

…Of course when they got there, he immediately took her out to a fancy lunch and brought her a bouquet of flowers. Because it didn't matter how angry she made him; she'd always be his demon.

Bickslow was in a different boat entirely, however. Because he wasn't worried about making up with Lisanna or anything like that. Instead he was worried about if there was anything between him and Lisanna to come back to.

However, Laxus and Mira making up only meant one thing for Lisanna.

"You have to work?"

"Until Mira gets back," Lisanna sighed as she poured Bickslow a drink. "Laxus came in and took her away. To lunch. Or, you know, to screw. Whichever."

The babies were floating around her then, some taking to landing on her shoulders or head before taking back to the flying. They were clearly excited about being home.

"I was gonna take you to lunch," Bickslow complained, his tongue stuck out of his mouth as he watched her then head further down the bar to refill Macao's drink.

"Well, that's out the window," she told him with a sigh. When she glanced back at him, she said, "Look, we can just hangout later, alright? I really do have to work. I need the tip money anyhow. It's either that or I have to go out on a job and now that Ever's back, I don't think I'm getting Elfman to go anywhere with me."

That was true. He and Ever had disappeared almost as quickly as Laxus and Mirajane. Sighing, Bickslow downed his drink before tossing some jewels onto the counter.

"I guess I'll take off then," he said slowly, though Lisanna was focused on something else, yet again. "Maybe you can come by after work then, huh?"

"Maybe," she told him distractedly. "I'll see you later."

"See ya," he mumbled, slightly disappointed. He had worked him coming back into a whole ordeal, but her blowing him off was not a part of the plan. Huh. Had he done something wrong?

No. Of course not. As he left, Lisanna only shook her head and busied herself with work. It was just easier that way. She'd had a good few weeks there to think about Bickslow and the current state of affairs that they were both in.

Things were simple when he left. He said that he wanted to just have fun again and she was fine with that. She'd even practically ignored Natsu since Bickslow'd left. Which wasn't hard, as he was more focused on Lucy and Happy anyways, but still. It was something. She knew it wouldn't completely fix things and that eventually she'd have to actually address the issue, but it'd kept her level headed while he was gone.

And what she'd said to Bickslow was true, after all. Natsu did love Lucy. He just did. And Lisanna had to admit, if it couldn't be her, then Lucy was pretty great. Though that didn't make it hurt any less, it was just too hard to find any flaw in the other woman. Impossible.

So when Mirajane returned, reeking of wine, with a Laxus, who was totally wearing a different shirt (did they even try to hide things anymore), Lisanna told her that she was going over to Bickslow's place and that she wasn't sure when she'd be home, if she even came home.

And wasn't that one of those stomach in your throat moments. Lisanna was almost blushing as she said it. But Mirajane was so tipsy at that point that she only reminded loudly to use protection which made the blush spread and Laxus laugh loudly. Great. So he was drunk too.

Escaping them, Lisanna took off from the guildhall before she had to speak to anyone else. It wasn't until she was a few blocks away that her blush actually faded.

"Leave it to Mira," she grumbled as she set off towards home. She wanted to go there first and shower. She had been working for a few hours. And that one time when she came over to his place after work, he complained that she was sweaty.

Err, that she tasted salty. When he licked her face.

The memory alone brought the red flush back to her features.

Lisanna took some time too, over at her house, getting ready. She was never one for make up, as that was more Mirajane's thing, so she didn't have that to worry about. But she did spend some time looking through all of Mira's different perfumes and such. She felt really girly and kinda stupid, but being with Bickslow made her feel girly too. And…sometimes stupid, but mostly just excited.

When she got to his apartment, she had that nervous feeling back. She'd kinda blown him off up at the guild, but he was the one that suggested she come over after work. So she figured that he couldn't be too upset that she took him up on his offer.

Could he?

Apparently not. When he opened the door to his apartment, he was anything, but upset. He was actually grinning at her.

"Lisanna," his babies cheered as he immediately took her arm and pulled her in. "Lisanna."

"Hey, Lissy," he greeted as he shut the door behind her. He'd clearly taken a shower when he got home from the job and was just wearing a pair of jeans and his helmet.

"No shirt?" she asked, making a face. It seemed odd to see him with a helmet without one of the outfits that usually accompanied it.

"Sticks to the bandage."

"Band- Are you hurt?"

He turned then, showing off his back. There was a huge gash there, right in the open.

"Was trying to bandage it when you showed up, but it ain't so easy, you know, it being on my back and all. Ever did it for me on the job, but-"

"Come here, Bickslow. Lay down on the couch so I can do it."

"Lisanna-"

"Seriously, all you had to do was ask," she told him with a frown. He only grinned as she reached up to take the helmet off his head before leading him to the couch. "Now lay down. Where do you keep your medical stuff?"

"Uh…Ever sent me home with some bandages. They're in my bag, in my room. And she gave me some sort of stuff in a bottle to pour over it, but-"

"Just hold on," she groaned, heading into his room then. "I don't know why she'd ever think you were capable of doing all that."

"I know," he agreed as he went to lay on his stomach on the couch. "She thinks I'm, like, an intellectual or something."

"Or something," Lisanna mumbled as she made it into his bedroom. After tossing the helmet on the dresser, she found on his bed sat a duffle bag, which she immediately went over to. "I'm not gonna, like, find something I don't want to in here, am I?"

"Nah," he called back to her. "Ever made me get rid of my dirty magazines, if that's what you mean."

Rolling her eyes, she pulled a pack of bandages and a bottle of peroxide out of his bag before going back to him.

"Mira does this for Laxus too," she told him softly as she went to deal with his wound. He hissed a little when she poured the hydrogen peroxide over it.

"Papa," the babies cried, fearful for him. "Papa."

"Did she and Laxus ever get back?" he asked through a grimace.

"Yeah. Drunk. They took for freaking ever," she complained as she moved to bandage him. "Do you have any other wounds?"

"Nope."

"Then…are you gonna tell me how it happened?"

"Over dinner, kid." When she was finished, he moved to sit up. "C'mere. I bought some stuff."

"Really?"

"Yep." He winked at her as he got up. "I was gonna make you something to eat. If you want."

"Can you cook?"

"…When I said make, I meant something more like I picked us up some take out and was going to warm the stuff up in the oven when you showed up." Then he scratched his head. His Mohawk was down, but she figured he hadn't fixed it after his shower. "And if you didn't show, well, then I'dda felt kinda stupid."

That made her giggle and him grin while his babies only took to resting different places in the apartment. Pippi chose Lisanna's head.

"I'll help you," she said, following him into the kitchen. Once she was close enough, Bickslow only threw an arm around her shoulders, hugging her tightly.

"You smell good, kid," he told her.

"Smell good, kid," Pippi mimicked.

Lisanna only giggled into her palm. "Really?"

"Mmmhmm." He accidentally knocked Pippi off her head when he leaned down to nuzzle her.

"Papa," the doll complained, but that just got some more giggles from Lisanna.

"I'm sorry, baby." He released her then before moving to grab the wooden toy. "You okay?"

"Okay," he mimicked as some of the other dolls came to check on him. "Papa."

When they finally went to eat, it was in his bedroom like always, reminding Lisanna of that last time they did that same thing. She decided to put it out of her mind. He had been upset. And she had been upset. And they both said things that weren't true. Or even if they were true at the time, no longer held any value.

She was with him. And he wanted her to be. That's all that mattered.

"What time is it?" he asked her at one point through a mouth full of food. "You know? This lunch or is this dinner?"

"I think it's right in between."

"Ah. So brunch."

"You do realize that would be breakfast and lunch, right?"

"What?"

"What?"

Then she was looking at him, making a face, while Bickslow only went back to eating. Finally giggling, she leaned across him to lay her empty plate on the nightstand before collapsing back into the bed, grinning all the same.

"What you wanna do tomorrow, Lissy?" he asked.

"Lissy?" the babies, who were spread over the bed with them, repeated.

"I dunno," she told him with a slight grin. "What are you going to do?"

"I dunno," he repeated. "What are you doing?"

"I dunno."

"Neither do I."

Then she sighed. "I'm kinda low on jewels though and was thinking about taking a job. It's like I was saying before though. Elfman probably won't go with me since Ever just got back and-"

"What you need money for?" he asked her with a slight frown. "I mean, you live with your brother and sister. They don't charge you rent or nothing, do they?"

"Well, no, but-"

"They make you buys groceries?"

"No-"

"Then why-"

"I don't like not contributing at all, Bickslow. I-"

"If you need some jewels, just ask, kid."

She blinked. "You'd just give me money?"

"I'd loan you some," he told her with a shrug. "I don't want you going nowhere while I'm waiting for my next job. And if sliding some jewels at you will keep you here, that works for me. Pay me back when you get the cash. Ain't no rush."

"You don't want me going anywhere?"

"Of course not," he told her as he winked at her. "How can we hangout if you're out on a job, huh? And besides, I just live here, all alone. With the babies. Just gotta feed myself. I usually blow the rest of the money on cool things. Throwing some of it at you instead ain't no problem."

He was done with his food then and, to her surprise, jumped up to take their empty plates to the kitchen without hesitation. Sitting up some, she watched him leave before glancing down at his babies.

"Did you guys have fun on your job?"

"Fun," they all agreed, Pappa and Poppo jumping up to come rest in her lap. She only hugged them to her slightly, grinning. "Fun."

"I missed you," she told them softly then, as not to be overheard by Bickslow.

"Missed Lisanna," they all agreed, the others taking to the air too, Pippi and Puppu fighting over her head while Peppe just joined the other too in her lap. "Missed Lisanna."

"I missed you too."

She lifted her eyes again to find him standing there in the doorway. He wasn't grinning though and his tongue wasn't hanging out of his mouth. His Mohawk was still down and it was so dark in the room with the light off and the shades down to that his tattoo was shadowed along with the rest of his face.

"Missed you too," she whispered as he came closer. "Bickslow."

Then he was next to the bed and fell onto it, beside her, and she moved to lay back down. This made the babies give up on her head and rush to land on the pillow in between their master and his date. The other three just settled onto her stomach.

For a moment anyhow. Then Bickslow reached out and plucked all three of them up, resting them instead against the pillows as well. Lisanna only watched as he moved to lay his head against her stomach in their place. She hoped that it wasn't too soft. Or firm. Or whatever it was that a stomach wasn't supposed to be. She knew that Bickslow despised the weak and never wanted to seem that way to him again.

And for awhile, they just laid there. Eventually she didn't feel as tense. She just took to stroking his hair, glad then that it wasn't stylized, so her fingers didn't get covered in gel or anything like that. And the babies seemed to go dormant, no doubt thinking that it ws time to go to sleep. She knew that it was only about six in the evening though. Behind the blinds, she could see the sun just setting outside.

"Lissy?"

"Mmmm?"

He breathed then, softly, before sitting up some. He only shoved up her t-shirt before resting his head fully on her stomach then, flesh against flesh.

She wasn't sure then, if she should breath or not. She didn't want to seem unattractive. Or pudgy. Did her stomach feel pudgy?

…What did pudgy even mean? Gah!

"Tell me about Edolas."

And then she froze for another reason.

"Wh-What?"

"I wasn't…there when you died. At the guild," he told her softly. "But I remember how sad everyone was. For weeks after. And I just… It's weird to me, now. That if it wasn't for Edolas, this wouldn't have happened, that I would have never cared about you. That I wouldn't know that I was missing this."

"Bickslow…"

"Did you…meet me there? I know that you met everyone else, mostly, but-"

"Once," she told him softly. "I met you once."

"And?"

"Huh?"

"Did I have my babies or-"

"You were…different, Bickslow," she told him, smiling slightly as she shut her eyes. "Everyone was."

"So what was I?"

"You weren't with Fairy Tail."

He blinked, but didn't remove his head from her stomach. He didn't think he ever would. It was too relaxing. Even though he had to curl up so his feet didn't hang off the bed, it was just too dang comfortable.

"You were… It was when I first got to the guild, see? And I was supposed to be, you know, their Lisanna."

"Right."

"And we were a rogue thing, you understand? You know, 'cause magic-"

"I got that, Lissy. Now what'd I do?"

"You sold things. Underground things," she told him with a sigh. "I went with Elf once, to a shop. It was a toy shop, up top, and you were the owner. But down in the basement, you'd sell…you know, things that used magic. Since they didn't use magic like us, they'd use weapons that did."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Well, you're name was Bickslow, for starters," she said, giggling slightly. "And you'd make these hand carved wooden toys. Kinda like your babies, I guess."

"What'd I look like?"

"You," she told him with a sigh. "But you didn't have your guild mark, obviously, and didn't have your face tattoo."

"What?"

"Mmmhmm. You didn't even have a Mohawk."

"I call bullshit."

"Bickslow-"

"Imposter! There had to have been a real me." And true to his form, his tongue fell out of his mouth as he got over excited. It was so close to Lisanna's stomach though, that he accidentally (or secretly on purpose) licked her. Not expecting this, it startled her into shifting away from him.

"Bickslow!"

"You're tasty," he told her before moving to lick her again. Lisanna only shoved his head away.

"I thought we went over this before?"

"I'm giving you kisses," he complained.

"You are not."

"How do you know?" His tongue was still out of his mouth then and he shifted to get over her.

"Bick-"

"I can't kiss you? Lissy?" He leaned down then to nuzzle her neck. "That ain't very nice, I ain't even allowed to kiss you, but you can kiss me."

"I have never licked you."

"Never said you couldn't either though, kid." He lifted his head and winked before speaking louder. "Go hangout in the living room, babies. This is not meant for your eyes."

And then she was blushing and rolling her own, but the spirits only followed his command, though they did whine slightly while they were at it.

He only dropped his head once more, resting it against the side of her neck. When he moved to lick it though, she did kinda shove him a little.

"What is up with you?"

"I can't lick you?"

"You can, just…"

He was laughing then and sounded way too maniacal. It was loud enough that the babies began to mimic him, as they were still lingering right outside the opened door. At the sound of them, he frowned and said, "One sec, kid," before rolling out of bed.

"Be quiet," he told them a tad harshly as he came to close the door. "Go…go sit on the couch. I'll come get you later and maybe we can all go for a walk or something. Get some ice cream."

With an incentive, they were easy to persuade. Lisanna knew, of course, most of that was for show, as Bickslow could get them really to do anything. He controlled them fully, when he wanted to. So he must not have been too upset with them.

"Now," he began and he headed back over to the bed, stopping only to slip out of his jeans. "I think I was pretty set on tasting you, was I not?"

"You're not, like, a cannibal or something, are you?" she asked as he licked her cheek in jest the second they were in bed again.

"Nope," he said. "Plus, you sort of taste like soap. You shower or something recently?"

"Most people shower daily, Bickslow, so I'm going with yes."

"Huh." Another lick. That time she shoved his head.

"Stop. That makes me feel…icky."

"Well don't. It's just us." He grinned real wide then. "Not even the babies. You have me all to yourself, kid. You know how lucky you are?"

"Lucky to have you slobbering all over me?"

"That ain't slobber, kid," he told her. "But I can gladly do that too, if you want."

"Bick-"

"I'm kidding." And then he just laid there, on his side next to her, tilting his head forwards to rest it against hers. "Tell me what you want tonight, Lissy. You want me to taste you again? Huh?"

And then his hand was snaking down the front of her shirt, but she caught it, shifting to look at him.

"What do you want?" she questioned back, breathless as he wiggled his hand free of hers, though he just moved to grasp her cheek then.

"Tasting you was what I wanted. Partially."

"Then," she said slowly, staring into his dark eyes. "What else did you want?"

"Depends," he told her as he let go of her cheek, just watching her back.

"On?"

"Couple of things."

"Like?"

"How far you wanna go?"

She watched his eyes for a moment before grinning, though she was still blushing slightly as well.

"However far you do."

He laughed then, nuzzling against her neck. "For future reference, that question is now invalid, huh?"

"Yeah," Lisanna repeated, her stomach in knots again. "Same."

And…and…she'd never done that before. That way, at least. When he asked, she blushed and told him as much, but he only shook his head because of course she hadn't. She'd only been with him, after all.

It was…different. And kinda nerve-racking, being the one over him. She didn't really know what to do. He grinned though and only kept one hand on her waist the whole time, laughing when her nerves made her giggle and moaning when they didn't.

Then it was over and they were just there, in his bed and she had shifted to his side, being the one curled up and resting against his stomach then, as he reached down and played with her hair. And the nerves dissipated with the blush and it was okay, because she didn't need to be anxious. He wanted her. So they were okay.

"Bickslow?"

He only grunted though, still just playing with her hair. And she shifted some to glance up at him in the darkness.

"When I was in Edolas, I thought about my brother and sister all the time. My real brother and sister."

A breath escaped his lips then. "You don't gotta-"

"And I thought…about Natsu. And Happy. And how much I missed everyone. Even Master." She sniffled slightly, moving to rest her head against his abdomen once more. "For two years, I just missed everyone. I thought for awhile that maybe…maybe I was in Hell? Or Heaven? Or something? But that didn't make any sense. And eventually I gave up trying to figure it out and just decided to go with it. That I was where I needed to be. I still had Elf. And Mirajane. And they both loved me a bunch, just like the real ones did. Like mine did.

"But I still thought, at times, about what everyone was doing back at home. My real home. And how they were. And if Elfman was okay or if Mira was happy or if Natsu was fine and still took care of Happy. I decided that if they were, if everything was fine, then I'd never go back. That I'd stop wishing to go back. Because…because if I came back, then I might mess it up. And what about my new Mira and Elfman? How would they feel if I left them?

"So I resolved to just force myself into contentment, no matter what, because I should just be happy. I still had everyone I loved, all around me. Just not the way that they were before. That was all. And Elf had a really bad haircut, but that's beside the point."

She snuggled closer to him then and Bickslow had his eyes shut, just letting her get it out. He had been the one to bring it up, after all.

"I always thought back to, though, that day that I went into that shop. The one that you ran? Err, the guy that was you in Edolas ran."

He frowned. "Why? We weren't even friends before you…went away."

"I know," she sighed. "It didn't have to do with you."

"Then what?"

"It was one of the things in the toy shop, up above the magic one?" She glanced up at him. "It wasn't for sale, he said, when I asked about it. I was just curious, really, why he had it."

"What was it?"

And then she was smiling, even letting out a slight giggle while she was at it, before bowing her head down once more, so she couldn't see his face.

"It was this…full sized armor that he kept."

"Armor?"

"A knight suit. It was in one of the corners, on a mannequin, yeah? With the helmet and all. I remember, because as Elf was downstairs, I stayed upstairs and looked around. I went over to it and was messing with the visor. It was different than yours. It was a full one that would cover all your face. And I would push it up slightly because… I dunno. I just did.

"When they came back from the basement, he saw me looking at it and he almost got…like you. Real excited. You know how you are."

"How I am," he repeated softly to which she grinned.

"And it wasn't royal armor or anything like that. It was literal knight armor. Like…like a medieval knight. A full metal body suit."

"Hmmm." Maybe the guy was the Edolas version of him. "But what does that have to-"

"And he started telling me about how he found it, the suit of armor, in a shop once and spent tons of jewels on it. Just 'cause he saw it and knew it had to be his. He wanted it. And he decided to set it up in his shop. He just loved it that much.

"I remember, too, when we left the place, that I was still grinning about it. Elf asked me what was up, but I only told him that it made me think of, like, you know." Then she was blushing and trying to hide it. "A knight in shining armor or whatever. That saves the princess? And takes her back home? Or something like that. And he only laughed. Just ruffled my hair and laughed.

"But I still thought about it. A lot. Because that's what I wanted. Someone to just come in and rescue me. Take me back home. No hurt feelings or nothing. I just…I just wanted my sister and my brother and my Fairy Tail. That was all. I loved them, but they weren't… And if the knight would only come, but…" She paused to swallow. "But when they came, when Natsu and Happy came, it wasn't for me. It was because they had to. They hadn't known I was there. And if I hadn't been sucked back up with them when they came back here, I'd still be there. You know? I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't be with you and I wouldn't be with sis or Elf and I would have… It just…"

"It's alright, kid," he sighed as he continued to stroke her white hair. "Calm down."

She snuggled deeper into his stomach. "And then I got back and it was all different. Natsu was different, Mira was different, and Elf…well, he was the same, I guess. But still. And I started wanting things to go back to the way they were. But they couldn't. They can't. Yo know? 'cause it had been two years. I was gone for two years. And even now, sometimes, I see the way that Mirajane looks at me. As if she's shocked, you know? That I'm here. We'll wake up and I'll be downstairs making breakfast and she'll come downstairs and just…stare at me for awhile. And then she'll hug me and tell me that she loves me.

"Or Elfman, he'll just start crying sometimes. Like once, we were just hanging out together, sitting on the couch talking, about nothing, really, and he just all of a sudden started crying. You know how he is. And he had his head buried in his hands. And I asked him what was wrong, but he only shook his head and promised me a thousand times over that he'd never hurt me again. That he didn't mean to hurt me. That it was the worst mistake of his life. His entire life.

"I can tell, you know, that sometimes they still feel guilty, as if they did something wrong. I was the one, you know, that got in front of him. That started all of it. If I had died, it would have been my fault. Not theirs. But every time I say that or tell them that when they're acting funny, they only hug me or Mira'll kiss me and tell me about how she promised Mom that she'd always take care of me. And I'll tell her that she has, but she'll only kiss me again and tell me that she loves me. And I love the way she is now, you know? But I still…I changed her. Me going away changed her so deeply. I can't even tell now, when she's really happy or when she's just putting on.

"Then Natsu and Happy, they hardly even remember that I'm around anymore. Not just because of Lucy either. Because of���everything. They'll be going to do something, something that the three of us did together before, but not even remember to invite me. You know how rare it is that I get to go fishing with them anymore? Or go over to their house? Or anything? Unless I invite myself, but I don't…"

His hand had stilled against her head then and she felt his muscles tense beneath her. He thought that she was about to go on and on about Natsu again, but she wasn't. She might have been rambling, but she wasn't stupid.

"I just thought it'd be different, Bickslow," she told him softly then. "Or not different, I mean. That things would eventually get back to normal. But they can't, you know? And it's been so long now. Really long, if you add in those seven years that we were, you know, frozen. But even without them, it's still be a long time. And nothing's changed. And I just keep wishing that…that someone would fix it for me. Someone would get Mira to stop being so…nice to me because she's scared I'll die with her upset. Or Elfman crying over me every chance he gets. I want someone to…rescue me."

"Like," he began slowly, softly. His voice didn't sound right without vim in it. "Like a knight?"

And then she was giggling because he got it. Because he got her. And she got him. And that was all that mattered.

"I'll be your knight, kid." He was stroking her hair again then. "You just gotta let me, huh? You gotta stop second guessing me. I like you, alright? Stop thinking that I don't."

"You-"

"I know what I said, when I was angry with you. But it didn't mean nothing. And what you said didn't mean nothing. I'll forgive you and you forgive me, huh?" Then he breathed, "Princess?"

And it was perfect, even though he sort of sounded like Virgo then, but that was okay, because he was her knight and she liked him and everything was-

"They did not just knock something over," Bickslow groaned as they heard a crash from the other room. "Babies!"

It got quiet suddenly, in the other room. Bickslow only sighed before saying, "Well, we were supposed to go get ice cream."

"Mmmm."

"You don't wanna?"

"It's too early to go to sleep," she told him with a sigh. "So we might as well."

"I gotta, you know, fix my hair first," he said as he slipped out from under her before going to slip on a pair of boxers.

She just laid there, watching as he left the room before sighing and moving to get up as well. She probably needed to freshen up too. And he had ruined her hair just as much as she had his.

Bickslow set her up with one of his jackets when they left, as he didn't want her to get cold. And he even let her wear his helmet, plopping it on her head after giving her the jacket.

"You don't always gotta wait for a knight, Lissy," he told her with a grin after doing so. "Sometimes you just gotta be your own."

Lisanna thought that she'd feel silly out there on the streets, walking around with his visor on, but she didn't. Because she was with Bickslow and he had his tongue hanging out of his mouth, happy to be hanging out together. And she could tell, just from some of his vague questions veiled in nonchalant tones that he was worried over whether or not she'd be going home with him again, or if he'd be walking her back to her place when the night was over. And she didn't want to box herself in either way, so she'd be just as vague back, never fully giving him a yes to breakfast in the morning, and ignoring the part when he asked what time he should be over the next day to get her, if they did go out to eat.

When they got to the ice cream shop, Lisanna was reminded that it was that same one that she and Natsu had been going to that night, when they ran into Bickslow and Freed. The memory was due in part, however, by the fact that when they walked in, they found the Salamander and his Exceed in there, as well as girlfriend.

They were sitting in a booth, Lucy watching with a bored expression as Natsu and Happy pigged out on a big sundae, her having only a single ice cream cone.

"You know, guys, this whole gag about you eating a bunch and then whining about still being hungry has gotten old," Lucy was complaining as they walked in. "I-"

Natsu lifted his head, face covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkles, the second they walked in. And as he was facing the door and she was looking over at them, it was easy for him and Lisanna to make eye contact.

"Lisanna," he said simply, cutting his girlfriend off. And Happy, who was next to him, looked up too, excited at the mere mention of her name, no doubt glad to have a reprieve from Natsu and Lucy's flirting. The blonde wizard, who was facing the other way, only glanced over her shoulder before smiling slightly. Then she saw who she was with and the grin grew.

Bickslow spotted them too and only dropped his arm from around her shoulders before leaning down to whisper, "Go sit with your friends. I'll get you a sundae, huh?"

And she was thought he was being mature, all things considered, but then realized that's what they were supposed to be always.

Pappa and Puppu followed her over to the table, the other three following their father. Once she got to the booth, Lisanna only slid in next to Lucy, though her eyes were on Natsu.

"New fashion choice?" Happy asked her, cocking his head to the side. It was only then that she realized she was staring at them through bars and she still had on Bickslow's helmet. With a blush, she pulled it off and sat it on the table.

"I was just-"

"You and Bickslow friends now?" Natsu asked as Lucy shot him daggers.

"That's a rude thing to say, Natsu," she reprimanded. "Everyone in Fairy Tail-"

"Yeah," Lisanna said, after swallow. "We are."

And then Natsu grinned. "Oh, good. I thought, wow, you clean someone's apartment once and all they do is take you out to get ice cream weeks later? But if you guys are friends, then it's cool. Like how Lucy kindly takes me and Happy here out for ice cream on her dime because we're friends."

"No, Natsu," Lucy sighed. "I always have this sinking hope that you're going to step up and pay, but you never do."

"You always say never change, Luce," he reminded.

Then with a few more gulps of ice cream, he and Happy were both finished with their ice cream. And after a pat to his belly, Happy addressed Lisanna.

"Do you wanna come with us?" he asked her. "We were gonna go hangout at Lucy's apartment."

Lisanna paused for a moment, as only weeks before she'd have jumped at the offer. Then she looked at the helmet resting on the table in front of her and only shook her head.

"No," she told him with a soft smile. "I'm with Bickslow tonight."

When they left, Lucy hugged Lisanna and quietly made her promise to tell her everything later and she only grinned back because Lucy had no idea how envious the other woman was of her at times.

Once it was just her at the table, and two of the babies, Lisanna smiled because that was a big step in itself, what had just happened. And honestly, she wasn't even sad about not getting to go out with them, to go hangout with them. Because she had something better. Better for her.

"Your friends go?" Bickslow asked when he came over to her with their ice cream. She only giggled as he sat down across from her.

"Yeah," she said. "I'm kinda glad. Now we get to be alone."

"Not completely," he told her as the other babies landed on the table as well. "But good enough, huh?"

"Definitely," Lisanna giggled. He only grinned at her, tongue tumbling from his mouth like usually. "I'm a little surprised though."

"At?"

She nodded at the bowl of ice cream in front of him. "That that's all your getting."

"Oh, trust me, kid, it's not." He winked. "Just if I got all of it at once, the ice cream'd melt, huh?"

"Guess you're right."

He shifted in his booth then, making a face. Lisanna only frowned.

"Something wrong, Bickslow?"

"Just this shirt. It feels weird, you know? Against the bandage? Like I told you."

"We didn't have to go out. I just-"

"Nah, it's cool, kid," he told her. "I'm just being a big baby, huh?"

"Mmmm." Then she paused. "I guess though, that I better go home with you tonight."

'Oh yeah? How you figure?"

She wouldn't look at him though as she stabbed her ice cream sundae with her spoon. "'cause," she began. "You need someone there in the morning, huh? After your shower? To bandage it? It'd just be easier if I stayed the night. Don't you think?"

"That's another one," he told her with a grin.

"Another what?"

"Another what?" the babies asked, also curious, apparently.

"Invalid question." Then he winked. "Never has to be asked again."

"Yeah," she told him, smiling down then at her ice cream. "Same."

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Full Story on FF

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Fairy Tail S4

“When will this world stop rejecting me?” Emo Wizard can’t catch a break

Apparently Zeref comes in Teen Angst Edition

Gray and Loke know Lucy is smarter than both of them combined lmao

I figured Levy was gonna fall for Gajeel from the time he joined the guild but it’s still funny to watch

“Who are you calling boy?” said the forty-year-old man in a sleeveless hoodie

Amazing the enemy soldiers are so offended that Natsu doesn’t care about them as individuals

Could they be a little more heavy-handed with their foreshadowing about celestial spirits like a goat named “Capricone” pls

[Natsu as Frank Ocean voice]: What’s a god to a non-believer?

Murder him Mirajane

The Strauss family doesn’t deserve this are they only allowed to have two happy siblings at a time

My fashion choices also represent my imminent death same Natsu same

Ultear could use about 500% more chill

“Keeping humans as puppets is barbaric.” “And being a slave to your owner is somehow noble?” He raises a fair point Loke 

The real question is how Leo knows about Lucy’s mum is it just a spirit thing or did they interact?

Is Ultear trying to imply that her and Zeref will repopulate the earth

“Our love knows no bounds, little droplet” Juvia pls 

“I’ll have no problem getting close because she trusts Leo” you’re fucking purple man

What the fuck is wrong with Cana leaving Lucy passed out alone in the middle of an enemy attack

Lmao @ Loke probably holding a class for female spirits on the weaknesses of mortal men

Yaaaasss Lucy and Natsu in a proper tag team battle

That entire battle was fantastic from the forced hugs to the collaborative attack to the brave babies trying to protecting each other A++

I was kind of hoping that Gray would appear while Lucy was pulling Natsu’s head between her legs lmao

[Gray as Coach Sylvester voice]: I was aroused, then furious 

Poor Gray he has done nothing to deserve any of this

Juvia’s narrative has come full circle she followed her heart by surrendering to Gray and now she’s using love to encourage her enemies to live

Rustyrose has to be a real dick to attack a camp full of wounded

I know I said every member of Fairy Tail had daddy issues but damn Cana’s are even more highkey than Natsu’s

“This has got to be the most messed up magic I’ve ever seen,” said the man who could literally manipulate souls

Does Jellal need to be shirtless in jail probably not and yet

“Let me show you why my name strikes sheer terror into the hearts of men” calm down American Eagle

Ultear just tossed the Lord of All Evil onto the ground like a sack of potatoes

I forget, sometimes, that Gray is actually a really good strategist 

Not to be A Juvia but Gray saying he’s going to teach a lesson as he throws off his shirt 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

“It’s pretty obvious [you and Gray] share a special connection” “Don’t try to make it sound dirty” Too late 

Panther Lily has embraced his role as Gajeel’s cat more than I expected

Immediately after Gray gets his ass knocked around:

Natsu: Want to get your ass knocked around some more?

Gray: ABSOLUTELY

He just?? Yelled Wendy out of existence??

I love that all of Lucy’s spirits like to dress Wendy up like a doll

Hades: I’m your evil grandpa once removed

HE’S FIGHTING THEM WITH FINGER GUNS OH MY GOD

No one ever said Laxus didn’t know how to make a dramatic entrance 

Laxus, for once in his goddamn life: Hi, I’m not here to ruin everything

“If you have something to confess, then speak up” Freed ships Gajeel and Levy

A lot of Fairy Tail’s problems would be solved if they killed their enemies

Freed and Bickslow talk a lot of shit about dark guilds for people who staged a coup against their master during a festival

“But... that’s my sword!” Poor Grimoire soldier he’s trying his best

“Is this what terror feels like?” Why is everyone in this show so confused by the sensation of fear

Thunder Legion loves Laxus so much what darlings

“I’m not into that kind of stuff!” BDSM or heterosexuality?

Lmao @ Gray being first in Erza’s sexy nurse line

Meredy, after Ultear has slaughtered countless people: You made a mistake

Laxus teasing Lisanna is unexpectedly cute 

“My old man is a deadbeat who can’t keep it in his pants” Cana is slut-shaming Gildarts

Me @ Lord Zeref: Could you like.... chill for a second

“Unfortunately [no survivors] were ever found” UM??? THIS ISN’T EVEN THE SEASON FINALE LET ALONE THE SERIES FINALE EXPLAIN

Biska and Alzack got married aw

How has Romeo not grown in like seven years man also who has been leading the guild all their strongest warriors theoretically died

“I call it dance of the pathetic and feeble” same

“Tell me, would you like to have a little brother?” KINKSHAME EVE TILM

It’s like they woke up from passing out and everyone around them is seven years older and irreversibly traumatized

OH NO JELLAL HAS BEEN IN JAIL FOR SEVEN YEARS THINKING ERZA IS DEAD

Lyon falling in love with Juvia is the best thing I never knew I needed

It seems unfair that Lucy is expected to pay rent from when she was presumed dead

Lucy shouldn’t feel obligated to mourn someone who abused her anyway

“Let me play around with you” Gray thinks ballroom dancing is a game and can’t describe any activity without it sounding dirty

This entire scene is beautiful Lisanna and Erza spinning men like tops, gentle Gajeel whisking Levy away from the boys, people dancing with the kids, the implied and canon couples dancing, Lucy dancing with a giant goat man

“A small price to pay for the chance to dance” Erza pls

“Very suspicious, no one’s that handsome” this is my favourite line of dialogue

Amazing in a room full of men Aceto picks Erza I hope the count’s daughter is a lesbian

She’s wearing Velveno’s ring but she’s still dancing with Erza 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

I would say that I’m surprised they ended a season of insanity and death and angst with a dance party but I am 0% surprised 

[fallen029]

God Slayer

It wasn't immediate. Not by any means. At first, he was very much so the jerk she'd expected him to be in a relationship. Distant, apathetic, and, as Elfman would say, all man.

But that was nice too. Different. Mirajane was so used to men fawning over her and practically throwing themselves at her feet. The same way that he was usually treated with women. Not her though. They were equal at that, she figured.

It took months. Many months, in fact. From their first date (which was a stretch to call it that as he'd happen to be out at a restaurant alone, waiting for the Thunder Legion to show up, as she got stood up on a date at the same place. When he noticed, he called her over and, as the Thunder Legion's practice was running over, they ended up not making it and it was just the two of them. Mira considered that their first date. Mainly because they hooked up afterwards…) onward, Laxus had always tried his hardest to seem unimpressed with her.

At times, she even believed it. He would break dates and, early on, they weren't really a couple yet, so he'd still date other women, almost purposely bringing them in her vicinity, just to irk her.

"I don't know why you bother with him," Lisanna would remark a lot. "I mean, I like Laxus, but he sure is a dick sometimes."

"It's nothing serious," she'd always say. "We're just…dating. And he's only like that to get under my skin. So I don't let it bother me."

"Uh-huh."

"I don't. And I can date whoever I want too."

And she did.

For a bit.

Three months in, Laxus had had enough.

"I saw you yesterday," he said when he stopped by her house one morning, early. She was in the middle of fixing breakfast for her siblings before heading off to the guildhall. Still, she only turned, allowing him entrance. "Last night, really. Out. At the park."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he grumbled as he came in. "Who was that guy?"

"Brian."

"Mirajane-"

"What? You asked."

"Why," he hissed, "were you out with Brian?"

"Because he takes me nice places. And he's really funny." She didn't even glance back at him as she made it back to the kitchen. "You should have come over and said hi."

"And why would I do that?"

"I dunno. I would have if I'd seen you."

"Mira-"

"You want an omelet?"

"No, I don't want a fucking omelet. I- Hey!"

She'd turned and swatted at him with a spatula. "Behave."

"What did I-"

"No cursing."

"Mira-"

"And I don't get what you're doing here, Laxus," she went on as she headed back over to the stove. "So I went on a date. And? Did we have plans?"

"No, but-"

"Then what do you want?"

"I don't want you-"

"Laxus! Did you bring Bickslow with you? Or Evergreen? Or Freed? Or…well, I guess that's all your friends. How sad."

Lisanna was in there then, coming into the kitchen as well, no doubt checking on her food. Still, she came to grin at Laxus for some reason.

He wasn't in the mood.

"What were you saying, Laxus?" Mira prompted. "About what you want? Or-"

"Nothing." Turning, he walked passed Lisanna and called over his shoulder, "I don't want you dating other guys, demon."

"You don't control me, Laxus. And besides, we're just dating. We-"

"No. We're not."

"Then what are you doing?" Lisanna ventured, though she kept eyeing her sister. Mirajane just giggled though

"Just stop seeing other men. Now. I mean it."

"Or what?"

"There is no or what. You're doing it."

"That means that you can't date either, Laxus."

"I know what it means, Mirajane." The front door was opened then and, before it was slammed, Laxus just repeated, "I know what it means."

So, with a bunch of giggles between the two Strauss siblings, they knew that it was obvious she'd broken at least one bond that held Laxus Dreyar down. They were now official. Exclusive.

That definitely wasn't something Laxus was used to.

And Mira eased it into him slowly. Didn't jump down his throat the few times she found him talking to other women in the beginning. As long as nothing happened, she wasn't going to force anything. After all, it was a big adjustment.

About two months later though, they went through the next big step.

"What," Bickslow complained as he came into the man's apartment one day, "is all this stuff?"

"What are you gripping about?" Laxus grumbled. He'd invited him and Freed over for a few drinks, but if they were going to be annoying before they even got through the door, well, they could just forget all about that. "Huh?"

"This stuff." Bickslow went over first to the coffee table, which used to be littered with filthy magazines and old cigar butts along with a few beer cans mingled in. Now it housed a neat stack of Sorcerer magazines and a big, orange candle. "I mean, boss, what the hell are these?"

"They're called coasters," Laxus grumbled as the man picked one up. His babies came over to investigate as well, the stupid dolls oohing and awing the whole time. "And they're for…for… Freed?"

"You put your drinks on them," the man said as he took a look around as well. "So you don't leave rings on the coffee table."

"Thank you."

"Why the hell would you care anything about that?" Bickslow was still rather suspicious. "Boss?"

"It's my damn coffee table," he grumbled, going to take a seat on the couch. "If I want to keep it from getting rings on it, then-"

"And what's up with this?"

"It's a pillow, Bickslow." Laxus was only growing more and more annoyed as the seith picked up one of his couch pillows, frowning at it. "And I'd like it if you set it back down."

"The hell does a couch need a pillow for? A couch is a big pillow!"

"Bickslow-"

"And what happened to all the magazines that I'd peruse while I was over?" Bickslow tossed the pillow back down before looking at the coffee table again. Picking one up, he said, "Who the heck wants to read Sorcerer Weekly? Unless you're, like, featured or something boss-"

"No," he grumbled, reaching out to snatch it. "These happen to be the editions where Mirajane has spreads. And I… She made me get rid of the other magazines. If I want… Look, this is just the way it is now, alright?"

"She makes you only look at photos of her?" Hmmm. Snickering then, Bickslow moved to pick up one of the magazines. "I wanna see what exactly-"

"No way!" Laxus jumped up, taking it from him. "Buzz off."

"No fair, boss! Everyone else gets to look. And she's the one that does 'em. Clearly she wants me to look. And if I really wanted, I could just go buy my own magazine."

"Then do that." Laxus sat it back down on the table. "'cause you ain't looking at these ones."

Sigh. "Yes, boss."

"I, for one," Freed spoke up as he took a good look around, "am enjoying what Mirajane has done to the place. It looks much homier than it did before."

"The demon didn't do crap," Laxus grumbled. "What? You think that she tells me what to do or something? Huh? Freed?"

"N-No! I didn't say that. I just-"

"'cause she don't." Laxus took a seat once more. "I like…candles. And Sorcerer Weekly."

"Do you also like fruit?" Bickslow had disappeared off into the kitchen. "'cause I ain't ever seen you with a bowl of fruit. And what's up with your fridge?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's all neat and organized and-"

"Laxus," came an echoing voice then. Great. Freed had made it into the bathroom. "This place is sparkling clean! When did you find the time to do all this?"

"What are you sayin', huh? That it wasn't clean before? That I'm some kinda pig or something? Is that what you're saying, Freed? Huh?"

"N-No, but- Oh. And these towels are quite nice. Bickslow, come look. He has even gotten a new theme going on."

"Theme? You have a themed bathroom now?" Bickslow dashed from the kitchen then to go check it out. "Is it dinosaurs?"

"Not that kind of theme," Freed sighed. "It's the color blue."

"Oh, wow!"

Laxus was seething then, over on the couch. "Would you idiots, knock it off? I-"

"Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom," Bickslow's babies chanted as the man himself, after glancing into bathroom, took off for the place. "Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom."

"Hey!" Laxus got to his feet once more. "Stay out of-"

"Oh, wow, boss." The man couldn't help his snickers. "You got it bad."

"Shut up. And get out of there. I mean it. Now. That's an order!"

But Bickslow just stood in the center of the bedroom, glancing around. On the dresser was a photograph of Mirajane and Laxus as well as one of her by herself. Then the man's usually purple and silky bed sheets were replaced by these blue ones with some sort of white design on the comforter.

"What's up with blue and white, huh?" the seith asked as Freed peeked in as well.

"Mira's hair and eyes," Freed offered up easily. "Am I right, Laxus? Is that what-"

"It's not anything," he grumbled. "The demon just thought I needed new-"

"What's this little thing here? You into stuffed animals?"

"What? No. I just-"

"It's a little dragon," Freed said, coming into the room before going to snatch it off the dresser. Bickslow picked up the one next to it.

"And a little devil. Horns, tail, and all." Grinning over at Laxus, he said, "You're pretty dang cute, boss."

"Give me those!" Laxus went to take them back. "If you get them dirty or something, Mira will flip."

"What else do you got that's new, boss?"

"Nothing! I-"

"Oh, Laxus," Freed said then as, after giving up the stuffed animal, he went over to the closet. "You haven't."

"You're right. I haven't done anything! So the two of you-"

"Haven't done what?" Bickslow turned to glance over as well. "Huh?"

"Huh?" his dolls mimicked. "Huh?"

"He's let her move in."

"What?"

"I have not!" Laxus went to slam his closet door shut. "Get out of here! Now! You're banned from the apartment."

"How come you got so many dresses in there then, boss, if she ain't moved-"

"Because, stupid," he said, frowning at the seith. "She has to wear something after she spends the night, right? So she needs stuff over here for when that happens."

"She gets to stay the whole night? What an honor."

"Shut up, Freed."

"B-But I really meant it. To have that bestowed on you-"

"Man, boss." Bickslow's tongue fell out of his mouth as he cackled some. "You really into this one, huh?"

"Shut up."

"You do not have to be all embarrassed by it," the other guy went on. "I mean, Mirajane Strauss is-"

"I don't fucking get embarrassed. But you know what you're about to get?" Laxus was getting all worked up then, sparks jumping from his body. "Huh?"

"Uh…gone. In fact, I'm gettin' gone right this minute!" And he was. Bickslow was hauling ass out of that apartment, his babies following, none of them even looking back. "Later, boss!"

Freed, however, couldn't take hints as well and just grinned at the man. "Do they have names?"

"Do what have names?" Laxus asked, still a little grouchy as he went to set his plushies back on the dresser. Mirajane had picked them up a couple weeks ago and claimed them to be their babies. When she was over, they usually slept in bed with them. His demon was a little off, but she was a keeper.

"Your little…toys. Or are they supposed to be you and Mira? Or-"

"Freed?"

"Hmmm?"

"Get out. Now."

That wasn't even the worst thing the demon did to him. Not at all. Slowly, she made it very clear in his mind that, over everybody else, she reigned supreme. Even over himself.

This was driven home one night when, somehow, they got caught out in the rain.

Which wasn't that big of a deal for Laxus. He was a lightning mage, after all. Thunderstorms only furthered his power, he figured.

Mirajane though, who was sporting a new dress, was not nearly as happy.

"Laxus," she complained as they made a run for it. "I told you that we shouldn't go out tonight!"

"What are you whinin' about, huh? What? You gonna melt or something?"

"No! But my dress-"

"Demon," he groaned as he slipped off his big coat before moving to hold it over her head. "Just let me-"

"Aw, Laxus," she giggled, calming down some then as he literally got drenched. Stupid woman. "You're so sweet."

"Yeah, yeah. Stop saying it, alright?"

But he was. And, by the eleven month mark, Mirajane was more than a little antsy for their anniversary. Laxus had told her himself that he'd never gotten that far with a girlfriend before. And definitely not been monogamous that long. Part of her was feeling anxious to get it all over with. Maybe even skip celebrating it all together. Then he wouldn't realize and wouldn't be able to have his own little freak out, right? Or plea for freedom?

So she didn't bring it up to him. At all. She honestly was hoping that he'd just forget all about it and do nothing for her. The anniversary of the day when they'd actually went on their first date had been rather awkward in and of itself, though Mirajane didn't consider that their true anniversary for obvious reasons. And Laxus had taken her out to dinner, but she could tell he was just phoning it in.

All the better not to even bring up the real one, when they both agreed to be exclusive, right?

"That's silly," Lucy told her when she mentioned this to her. "Out of all the people I know, you're probably the one that would get the biggest kick out of celebrating an anniversary. So why-"

"It's hard to explain," she told her.

But was it really?

Because wasn't it just easier to have no expectations than to have high ones and be let down?

Only…she wasn't let down. Not at all.

In preparations though for him dropping the ball, she'd made sure not to end up together the night before. That way she could wake up over at her own place, in her own bed, and hopefully keep herself from crying over the fact that he had no idea what date it was.

But when she woke up, before sunrise like always, something was off. Usually she'd go and grab a shower before her siblings woke up (if she gave them a chance, they'd use all the hot water without a second thought), but when she left her room to do so, she could hear someone already up, messing around downstairs. It sounded like Lisanna. Which wouldn't have been odd, had she not been talking to someone else. And considering she could her Elfman snoring all the way from his room, she knew that it wasn't him.

"-narcissistic of him, I think," she heard her sister saying.

"Not at all," came the reply. A man. "See, the boss has these little plushies back at his place, yeah? Of a dragon and a demon? So this big one here is kinda, like, the biggest one he could find. She's gonna love it."

"Gonna love it!"

"What are you doing here, Bickslow?" Mira was quick to head into the living room once she placed the first voice, as well as the five that mimicked it. "And what-"

"Oy! You weren't supposed to get up so early," the man complained as she came into the room to flip on the light. Lisanna was sitting over on the couch, watching the seith as he set up around the room. Sure enough, Freed was there as well and frowned at the sight of the woman.

"Mirajane," he said, bowing his head. "We were just…well… Laxus got called away on a very important job. The Master came to see him last night and needed him for something. But he had us go ahead and get all of your presents over here."

"Yeah. He made us get up super early too," Bickslow complained. "We had to, to lug all this stuff over here. Lucky us, Lisanna's so nice and helped us out."

He had to have bought her at least a dozen bouquets, all of them already in their own vases around the room. Then, sitting on the coffee table, was a cake box with the top open, with the words 'Happy Anniversary' scrawled on it. Then, of course, there was the giant yellow stuffed dragon that Lisanna and Bickslow had been arguing about. She went to look at it first.

"He also bought you a new dress," Freed said, nodding over at the box, which sat on the couch next to Lisanna. "And-"

"What-"

"Well, it's your anniversary, ain't it?" Bickslow cleared his throat then. "He also wanted me to deliver a message."

"What?"

In a much deeper and gruffer tone, the man said, "Hey! Demon! You better have me a present too! And when I get back, we're going to dinner! So you better be off!"

Lisanna clapped. "That was a pretty good Laxus impersonation, Bicks."

He snickered. "Thanks, Lissy, I-"

"Bicks?" Mirajane frowned over at her sister then. "Lissy?"

"Huh?"

"And how did Laxus get in contact with you anyhow, Lisanna? I would have heard it if he came over," she said slowly. Her sister blushed slightly then as Bickslow's tongue went back up into his mouth. "Did you even come home last night? I-"

"Hey, Mira, want me to make one of my babies go into the dragon doll. Huh?" Bickslow was the master of distraction. Err, Mira was just so simple it wasn't hard was probably closer to the truth. "Like it's a real baby?"

"Ooh, yeah!" it was her turn to clap. "Do that!"

"You know," Freed whispered to Lisanna as he went over to her. "You're going to have to tell your sister some time."

"Why?"

"Lisanna-"

"I know, I know," she groaned, watching as her boyfriend made her sister's new dragon fly around the room, crashing into nearly everything. "But she'll act all weird about it, you know?"

"Seeing what she did to Laxus," Freed sighed. "I know exactly what you mean."

And when Laxus got back to town, he took Mirajane to the fanciest of restaurants, even braving riding a train just for her. Then he went out and bought her some jewelry.

"Really, Laxus," she'd told him. "You've spent too much on me already."

"No way, demon. I've always got jewels to spare for you."

And really, there wasn't much resistance in her tone anyhow.

That day, the one where they celebrated their anniversary together finally, was probably the true fall of the empire known as Laxus Dreyar. He was finally able to admit, then, that something was different. That things really were different. And that he'd do everything in his power to keep them as they were.

Which meant, of course, putting up with more of the demon taking over. Not that he'd put up much of a fight to begin with. Slowly though, his apartment went from just being decorated by Mirajane to being full-fledged lived in.

Not that either of them would call it that. Not at first anyhow. But one day, when Mirajane woke up once more at his apartment to realize it had been over a month since she'd even taken a nap in her own bed, she knew something had changed.

And somehow, Laxus came to the same conclusion that morning.

"You off today, demon?" he asked when she stirred on the bed. He was standing over by the closet, getting dressed.

"Mmmm."

"Good." He was putting on one of his purple button-up shirts and, with a sigh, she pushed up to go do it for him. He always liked it when she got the buttons for him. Not to mention, she didn't mind stroking his abs a little while she did. "We got somethin' to do."

"What, dragon?"

"We're moving you in, of course."

"Wh-What?"

He patted her on the head, his usually stoic face sporting a grin a jack-o-lantern would be proud of.

Or Bickslow for that matter.

"I was laying there last night," he said. "Right next to you."

"I remember."

"And I thought about how much I… Well… You stay here a lot now. I mean, Mirajane, you have more stuff in the closet than I do."

"It's not my fault you're a minimalist."

Staring at her, he said, "I know you were waiting for me to ask or something, so I figured I might as well just get it done now."

"No, Lax," she said with a shake of her head. "I wasn't. I honestly never thought that you'd even want me to live with you."

"Silly, demon." He bowed his head then to nuzzle it against hers. Mirajane just blinked up at him. "Silly, silly-"

"Have you been drinking?"

"No."

"Laxus-"

"If you don't want this-"

"Did I say that?"

Staring down at her, he paused for a moment before saying, "I know this is really impulsive, but I have actually thought about it for awhile."

"Really?"

"A few times. But I know that you like living with your siblings. And to give up that house to come stay in my tiny apartment-"

"You can come stay with me then, in the house. You-"

"No," he sighed, shaking his head slightly. 'Your brother and sister live there too and-"

"Then I'll come stay here." She still had her hands resting on his chest and ran them down then before over to his arms. Gripping them gently, she said, "I would live in a box with you if I had to. I just didn't think that you would want this."

"I didn't think you would."

Giggling slightly, she grinned for a second though it fell right after.

"What?" he asked. "Did I say something? Or-"

"Well, your lease and stuff. And now I have to help pay rent-"

"We'll figure it out," he said, leaning down to nuzzle his head against hers again. She was learning to like that. "Demon. I love you."

"Laxus…"

"Don't you know you're supposed to say it back? Huh?"

She just let out a soft breath. "Yeah, I know. I love you too."

Not that it was all smooth sailing from there. Sure, Laxus was in a good mood that morning, but Mirajane knew that wouldn't last long. He rebelled at one point, about three months after she'd moved in. The honeymoon period ended and the realization started to set in. He spoke out against all her rules about staying out all night and drinking so much. About how he wasn't ready to be tied down and that monogamy wasn't for him.

It was, by far, the worst fight they ever had. She wouldn't talk to him for three weeks. Then again, one of those weeks, he wasn't talking to her either. She'd run back home and there was no way that Elfman and Lisanna were letting him anywhere near her.

Bickslow wasn't too pleased with him either, though Laxus, who'd learned of Bickslow and Lisanna's relationship that night when he went to the man for help with the anniversary stuff (she'd been over at his apartment, sleeping in his bed, practically naked, it wasn't that hard to draw conclusions), wasn't in too much shock over that. If Mirajane had changed him, Lisanna had the seith turned into a whole new man.

Not that he didn't need it, anyhow.

Freed, though unhappy to see Mirajane so distraught and Laxus all confused and upset, thought it was his chance.

It was not.

Because after those three weeks, Laxus marched over to Mirajane's house and faced the music. And, after a few unsuccessful attempts to get Elfman and Lisanna to let him in, he arrived one day to find them both out.

But Mira was home.

And didn't want to see him.

"Demon," he groaned as she shut the door in his face. "Look. I brought our babies."

"Go away."

"Mirajane-"

"No, Laxus. Go."

"I don't wanna talk through a door!"

"I don't wanna talk at all."

Growling, he banged on it again. "Just give me a chance here. I brought these damn plushies. Don't you at least want them?"

Well…

But when she opened the door to take her stuffed animals back, Laxus forced his way into the house.

"Hey-"

"I can't believe you fell for that," he grumbled as she just slammed the door behind him. He knew too that she couldn't be that pissed if she wasn't going to just throw him out. Though he thought that he was stronger than Mirajane, he'd never actually use any of it against her. So she came at him, she'd easily overpower him. But she didn't. "Demon."

"Stop calling me that. And give me my babies!"

"Here."

She snatched the little dragon and demon with a frown. "And where's the other one?"

"I didn't carry him over here. He's so big!"

"Well, I want him. And all my stuff. You-"

"Mirajane-"

"No. You can't just do this, Laxus."

"Do what? Apologize? Believe me, I can. I just don't very often." He looked off then. "But I'm going to for you. I'm sorry. I…I got drunk. And overwhelmed. I mean-"

"So what? That's an excuse? That-"

"No, it's not. Demon-"

"You think that you can just go out, have sex with whoever you want for three weeks, and then come back to me with some half thought out apology and I'll-"

"I didn't sleep with anyone."

"Bullshit, Laxus."

If Mira was cursing, he knew he was in trouble.

"I didn't."

"I don't believe you. So just go." Turning, she headed off then, no doubt towards her bedroom. "Elf and I are going to go over to the apartment while you're out on a job and get all my stuff. So take one soon please."

"No."

"Goodbye, Laxus."

"Mira, you're not listening! I was mad and angry and… It's a lot, okay? And when I look at myself sometimes and the way that things have changed- Just don't walk away! I'm pourin' out my heart here, you know."

"You're not even taking this seriously."

"I am too." He followed after her. "Mirajane, I…I love you. But sometimes you just… You were talking about having babies and how we were gonna move into a new house and I just… I panicked, alright?"

"Not alright." She was to her bedroom then and shut the door behind her. He just rushed to open it and follow her in. "Laxus-"

"I've missed you so much. I've come over here, looking for you. And every time I go to the bar, you're not working! For two weeks, you haven't worked at all. What's up with that?"

"I took time off."

"Just to avoid me? Are you really that mad?"

She had gone to put her stuffed dolls on the dresser and didn't glance back at him. "You said that you didn't want to be with me anymore. I've done nothing, but give you time and space and I've never forced you into anything. I wasn't the one that made us exclusive. I wasn't the one that asked to move in. I didn't ask for your commitment. I didn't ask for your-"

"Mira…Please…"

"Laxus, stop it. You're-"

"No. I… I can't…be alone anymore."

"You-"

"I get drunk every night and you're not there to rub my stomach and tell me what a bad dragon I've been and the apartment smells like shit again and I woke up the other night to snuggle and you weren't there."

"You don't even like snuggling."

"I know! I hate it. But I know that you like it. And I was all ready to roll over and give you a few snuggles, to make you happy, but you weren't there."

"Yeah, Laxus, because you said that you didn't want me there."

"You don't think I know that? That I don't regret that? Damn it, Mirajane, who the hell else would I be doing this for?" He was trying to get some of his virility back then, sound less weepy. "I'm here for you. For us. I get it, alright? You don't need me. You love me. You like me. We have fun together. But you know that if I popped out of your life right now, you'd be able to go one with life. Fuck if I don't know it. You'll get a guy that takes care of you and doesn't make it so hard to love him and you'll be happy.

"And I want you to be happy. I really want you to be happy. But… I think I can make you happy too. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here. I can, Mira. Really. It'll take work, but the hell have I been doin' for the past year and a half if it wasn't putting in work? And I stumbled. I fucked up. I know. And you can tell me to screw off if you want, I'm not gonna hold you back, but baby, I need you.

"I really do, Mira. I…I… I'll never get someone like you again. All the other women I'm with, they like being able to say that they're with me. They think I'm…I dunno…hot, I guess. And I'm a damn good mage. That's just a given." He knew he was getting a little off track (talking about himself could cause that), and tried to get back to the point. "But they don't…and this sounds stupid, but they don't care about me. Not like you did. You wanted me to be more than what I am. None of them did. They just wanted me to buy them nice things and take them places and were fine when I'd turn around and treat them like shit the next moment. Just because they'd gotten with me.

"Not you though. You tried to make me better. You did make me better. Bad damn it, Mir, I'm not perfect yet. I know. And this just goes to show it, right? Your jobs not done yet. You're not finished with me. You can't be finished with me." Then, taking a deep breath, he came closer before slowly, very slowly getting down on his knees in front of her. Mira just stared down at him in shock.

"L-Laxus," she whispered, blushing. "I… This is just sad. Stop it. You-"

"I am sad! I'm losing you and I don't want to. I made a mistake. A big ass mistake. But I'll do anything to fix it." Damn. There went that masculinity again. Sigh. The things he did for the demon. "I've never gotten down on my knees for a women. For anyone. Begged for something. But damn, Mira…What do you want, baby? Just tell me."

"Laxus-"

"You want a house? I'll get a house. A baby? I'll give you a fucking baby. I'll marry you. I'll buy you a boat. You like boats? I'll put up with my damn motion sickness to take you out on a boat this second if-"

"It's not about what you can give me," she told him then, finally turning to face him. "It's about what you did. You hurt my feelings. You embarrassed me. The whole time that we we've been dating, everyone though that you would do this to me. But I told them that they were wrong. That they were more than wrong about you. That they didn't see you the way that I did. That you didn't want them to. That there was a special side to you that only I got to see. But then you went and ruined it. Really ruined it. You screamed at me, you forced me out of our apartment, you told me that…that… Laxus, you hurt more than my feelings. You broke my trust."

"But I didn't sleep with anyone. Why won't you listen, demon?"

Staring down at him, she said, "Some speech won't just win me back. Being cute or submissive or even making more false promises isn't going to work. You're gonna have to show me that you're sorry. Not just tell me."

"From just one fight?"

"That was more than a fight," she said. "And you know it. We've fought before. We've fought a lot. You were tired of me and wanted me gone."

"Mira-"

"No, Laxus. You did. You wanted to go out, do whatever you wanted, and you didn't want me around while you were doing it."

"I… I thought about it. After you left. And I… It's just different, Mira, for me. I haven't done this before."

"And you think that I don't get attracted to other guys some times?"

"I don't like to think about it, no."

"Laxus-"

"I… I was out. And I was drinking. With Freed. And this woman was… And I just thought…it's not fair. That she was into me and I couldn't even get anything out of it because you were at home waiting for me and I… I was drunk, Mira. I didn't even touch her."

"No, you just came home and bitched me out for happening to be your girlfriend."

"Mirajane-"

"I love you. But I don't like feeling like crap, Laxus."

"I made you feel that way once. Just give me another chance." He was still down on his knees too and damn if that wasn't mortifying. "Do it for the children, Mirajane. And their poor stuffed bodies. You think they can deal with joint custody? Huh?"

He wasn't funny to her then. Not anymore. "Laxus, shut up."

"I-"

"And get up. You-"

"I don't want to get up." And then, leaning forwards, he rested his head against her stomach, tossing his arms around her. Her dress felt soft against his cheek. He'd never been in that position before. Hmmm. "And I damn sure don't want to give up. So I'm not going to. If you want me to prove myself, fine. I will. I'm not going away, Mira. Not as long as I know I can do this. And I do. I can. And if I have to prove it to you, I will. I can make you so happy, baby. If you would just give me another chance. I-"

"Shhh." With a sigh she moved to rack her fingers through his blond locks. "Shhh."

"I love you."

"I know."

"I…I… I've never talked this much all at once. I'm kinda out of things to say."

"That's okay."

"…So are you coming back home?"

"No."

"What?" He tilted his head up then to look at her. "Mirajane-"

"Not today." She wiggled free of him and, feeling rather foolish, he got slowly back to his feet. "But thank you."

"Wha-"

"I told you," she said as she went to go open her bedroom door. "It's a process."

"Mirajane-"

"Goodbye, Laxus. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

He didn't want to go. At all. But…well… He'd gotten something accomplished at least.

"I'll bring the other one over," he said, glancing at her. "Huh? The big dragon? Tomorrow morning?"

"'kay. See you then."

Apparently, he'd forgotten how hard it had been to get the demon to love him in the first place. He hadn't even been trying back then. He'd just been…him. And slowly, she'd changed him. Now, as the new guy he was, he was finding that getting her to trust him was no easy feat.

But he was trying. A lot. He stopped going out all the time with his friends and spent more time with her. A rededication, he figured. He couldn't live without Mirajane. Not anymore. So he wasn't doing anything to risk losing her.

It was his life on the line after all.

And Mira wasn't that hard on him. She just…was apprehensive. In those three weeks, she had slowly begun to come to terms with the end of their relationship. It'd always been in the back of her mind, anyhow, that it could come crashing down around them. Every other relationship she'd had ended, after all. Why should theirs be so different?

Because it was them. That's what Laxus thought. Theirs was different because it was meant to be. It was divine. He just didn't need Mira or just want her. He…appreciated her. She was really something. Special. He'd never seen someone care so much about those around them. Someone who'd had so much darkness and yet been able to turn it all to light. She was almost angelic.

But, of course, Satan was the most beautiful angel of all.

It took another month before Mirajane really moved back in with him. And man, if Laxus wasn't on his best behavior after that. She knew it wouldn't last. The backrubs, the flowers, the little stuffed animals that he was picking up all over the place by then. But…she was eating it up while it lasted anyhow.

And when they reached that mark three months later of living together for as long as they had before the big blow up, she held her breath. But…nothing. Laxus didn't even seem antsy. And the forth went by. And their second anniversary.

Things weren't perfect, not in any regard, but they were…nice. And she was starting to get in unmarked territory too. He was officially her longest boyfriend and, well, she hoped he was her last.

Laxus wasn't showing any signs of letting up either. Of getting tired of her. Not loving her. They fought. They'd always fight, she knew. And once, he'd been the one to walk out. But it was only for a night and the next day they talked it out.

She was pretty sure that was the key. Talking things out. If they could get that down, they had a chance.

Oh, and eventually, she did find out about Bickslow and Lisanna. And she was annoying about it. For Laxus too. She drug them all out on dates together with Elfman and Ever and even sometimes, Freed would pretend to just happen to be in the area and show up too. But that was another story for another time.

The point was, as months turned to years and eventually, they both stopped holding their breath and just got used to one another and just…were. Laxus was with the demon. For the long haul. And, though he didn't enjoy every moment of it, he did enjoy her. She became his world. His central focus.

For a little while.

Because eventually, those little dolls just weren't cutting it for her anymore. And, after finally getting married, she also got that baby out of him.

"Mmmm…" Mira sighed on morning as, after getting the whining baby from his crib, she returned to the bed with him. Laxus was mostly awake then and took the boy from her before laying him on his chest to rest some more. "Who'd have thought, huh?"

"Thought what?" he whispered as he stared down at his son. He was getting pretty good at crawling recently and Laxus couldn't wait until after breakfast, when they could go out in the living room and watch him.

"That all this time we've been so concerned with Dragon Slayers and we actually had a God Slayer in our midst."

"You think my boy's gonna be a God Slayer?" Laxus was still making faces down at his baby and hardly listening to her.

"No, dragon," she told him with a giggle as she moved closer, laying a hand on his chest, right next to the baby. That got his attention and made her husband glance at her.

"Then who?"

"Me, of course."

He blinked. "Come again?"

Pushing up slightly, she smiled at him as she said, "You're the Thunder God, aren't you?"

"Demon-"

"If you're not slayed, dragon, I don't know what you are."

She was leaning over for a kiss then and, after he gave it to her, he turned his head down to nuzzle against the boy, Raidyn, pressing a kiss against his little tuff of hair. It was so light at that point that they weren't sure if it was going to stay that way and be like Mirajane's or darken out into a more traditional blond as he got older.

"I'm tellin' you, demon," he mumbled to her. "He's a looker."

"You're changing the subject."

"You think you slayed me?" he asked. "Huh?"

"I know I did."

"I believe you," he sighed as the woman laid back down, snuggling against him. "Mirajane the God Slayer, huh?"

"It's only fitting. I am a demon, after all."

Grinning, he nodded. "After all."

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Fairy Tail S5

“A silent but deadly force waiting to erupt” I think there are ways to introduce villains that sound less like you’re talking about a fart

Oh it was intentional

Wendy heals the thieves that are holding her hostage what a girl <3 

“If you hurt that little girl, I will go straight for your throats” same Carla same

“It’s supposed to leave your skin super clear” I see what you did there

Lucy can no longer call Gray out for walking around naked lmao

I love that Freed and Levy are science bros 

“And we do guarantee satisfaction” said Gray, shirtless and smirking 

Laxus has become a hermit of the woods of Magnolia because he misses Fairy Tail 

I want someone to love me like the Thunder Legion loves Laxus

How is Gray still so awkward being alone with Erza they’ve been friends for like ten years 

“What’s wrong? You’re not stripping.” ERZA PLS

Laxus keeps his hands in his pockets before a battle for the aesthetic

“Gajeel ghosted” me too Gajeel

So the opposite of Sugarboy, Hughes and Coco is Slimy Elvis, a lady, and a violent little girl

“The truth is, you’ve been Lucy this entire time” well that’s one way to defeat an enemy 

Logically just based on level of skill and experience Natsu should probably be able to beat these guys but I guess this is what happens when you win all your battles based on pure Balls

“This is the weirdest fight ever” clearly you weren’t there for the S-Class trial sex and cotton candy fight

Why does Hughes keep saying “totes” this episode first aired in 2012

Loving this recurring trope of Gray showing up late to a battle like ‘bitch you thought’

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Michelle,” said Lucy before being extremely hard on herself 

Gray is so happy about chaos he’s a closet anarchist 

“Are you the one behind these attacks” What kind of an investigator is Lahar who else would it be christ

Gildarts is trying to make up for ten years of dad-ing

Natsu and Gray are being so ridiculous during this arc just dirty-minded anarchy bros running around arm in arm

Lucy following in Gray’s footsteps by stopping enemy attacks by Being Hot

“I know whose key will unlock my happiness” is that a dick joke Juvia

Ffdkgjfdgkdgj Lyon crashing this forced date I’m crying 

“You mean we’re still not done with this thing?” Gray sums up my feelings about this entire arc

If Lucy has seen many adventure movies then why does she not realie that touching the thing on the pedestal will spring a trap

“My heart can’t seem to stop pounding” Ggdfuiygdiyhfgi GRAY GIVES ALL HIS ENEMIES THEIR SEXUAL AWAKENING

“Grab something with your magic” since when is that a thing you can do they’re really being liberal with the rules of magic in this filler

“Apparently your heart is as frosty as your biceps are bulgy” fhkghfkjghkfgkjfhgk I’M LOSING IT

Gray doesn’t have the emotional energy to deal with multiple people being attracted to him

If there’s anything I’ve learned from Fairy Tail it’s that Gray and Lucy are too hot to live 

“You should really learn how to use that thing before you go whipping it out you moron” That was definitely a dick joke

My aesthetic is tiny Levy threatening to kill Gajeel 

Lucy’s kindness always gets to me she doesn’t only want to protect Coco’s life she wants to be her friend 

“I will conduct a test of your scoundreldom” Erza Scarlet is a gift

All the members of Fairy Tail are really sensitive about the fact they are seven years behind all their peers

“Let’s consummate our marriage in the presence of God” I can’t believe Dan just asked Lucy to fuck in a church

That is definitely not church-appropriate attire Lucy

I was not expecting the pale green cat to grow six feet taller but sure why not

“Next time talk faster!” “Next time listen to me!” Gajeel and Levy are #married

Is the fact that Dan passes on Michelle for a girl with ‘more life in her’ mean that she’s secretly dead or something

This is really playing with the rules of magic like not only did Hughes extract Mirajane’s power now she has another form

Take a shot every time an anime character starts talking about bonds

“Titania!” “Do not speak my name!” I love Erza

Midnight’s character design has gotten 10x more ridiculous they gave him Gajeel’s haircut and white thigh high boots

Lmao @ Natsu and his friends being referred to as ‘the old problems’

“Natsu could use a lesson in flirting” is Gray offering to teach Natsu to flirt 

Everyone in Fairy Tail: Blame the dead guy for being cryptic

Filler Freed loves to cook almost as much as he loves Laxus

It’s funny that Cobra has some kind of romantic history with Kinana because in canon they did say his only friend was a snake

Sure. Why not. Giant fuckin box man. My expectations are already so low

“I’ve often wondered if our magic styles might complement each other” “I got to admit I’ve wondered that myself” I can’t believe Gray and Freed are flirting with each other

Mest has had a rough seven years cripes I guess it makes sense if he thought the little girl and nice people he was betraying were all blasted into nothingness

You’d think that Wendy would be the perfect person to face a wind user

Gildarts just tried to flirt with a nun 

“I’ll have you know my loyalty lies with Laxus” Freed just compared his feelings for Laxus to Dan’s crush on Angel

Poor Mest he’s running around still a little drunk 

Why is Lahar not telling Doranbalt the people he is mourning are alive

My money is on Fake Michelle being the girl from the book

“I was lost, until I heard your voice calling to me” Why does Erigor sound like the protagonist of a romance novel

Natsu has a lot more overt feelings towards Lucy in the filler

I suppose the Michelle reveal means that we are wrapping up this irrelevant arc thank goodness I want to know what happened to Jellal 

I hope the Time Spiral means that one of the Fairy Tail team is going to be turned into a baby

I was right and it was Gray and he was adorable

“Fine, we don’t expect sacrifices to participate” Klodoa gets a little too real

“Lucy belongs to me and you can’t have her” Imitatia’s dialogue has gotten much more gay since her reveal

“You and Erza really need to work as a team” “You’re one to talk” Gray raises a good point Natsu always wants to fight people alone

“I want you to impale me” I mean... same Angel same 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Gray’s speech on morality was far more intimate than others because he was half-naked and top of his enemy

Amazing Erza just batted Cobra straight in the direction of his snake girlfriend

You gotta wonder what the Oracion Seis was doing for that seven years

So Michelle wasn’t the book girl she was a doll but I was close enough I think still a character from Lucy’s childhood

“Now you will become a traveler of The Void” Me too tbh

“I assumed that’s why you stopped talking to me” And also because you’re a doll and she’s an adult woman

“Get your dirty hands off me” Cobra doesn’t want a girlfriend he only wants a snake

What a long and eventually pointless journey to get back to point