#the thought of bedding wei wuxian sends him into a crisis

[aurora077]

MDZS fic I'll probably never write (but I want to so...maybe)

So Jiang Cheng actually finds a woman willing to marry him but she's afraid of dogs too.

Since Lotus Pier has no dogs (hmm I wonder why...), the first time he finds out this tidbit is when Jin Ling is gifted Fairy and proudly comes to visit, wanting to show her off to his aunt and uncle. Except said aunt is terrified and clings to her husband who is suddenly getting ~war~ flashbacks. And by that I mean rapid memories of Wei Wuxian clinging and screaming whenever he encountered a dog.

Despite the fact that he loves this woman and they've been married for years and she has in fact handled zidian before (aka u know, she can't be possessed or zidian would do the zap)... for one hot second his brain goes 'wife + fear of dogs = wei wuxian possession/reincarnation/shapeshifting???'

He just barely tells Jin Ling to take Fairy for a walk and turns on his wife all accusingly. She's already clinging to him so he just grabs her arms and she has no idea why he's reacting like this and is all concerned like "A-Cheng what's wrong, you're gripping me rather tight. Are you afraid of dogs too?"

And he's just like "Wei Wuxian!"

"You're afraid of Wei Wuxian?" says poor confused wife.

"No! You! You are..."

"I'm afraid of Wei Wuxian???"

Girl is now wondering if Wei Wuxian turned/reincarnated into a dog and is now A-Ling's pet.

But her silly husband is staring at her with a slightly unhinged look and is all like 'Wei Wuxian where is my wife? What did you do to my wife?'

And she's really confused now and is like... 'But.. I am your wife. I'm right here? A-Cheng are you okay?"

And he's losing it like what? Wei Wuxian was his wife all along??

She realises from his mad ramblings that he thinks she's Wei Wuxian and can't help but laugh.

She's all like, "But A-Cheng... I share your bed, how could I be Wei Wuxian?"

"A-Cheng...did... were you and Wei Wuxian... like that?"

And my boy spits blood. He just implodes at the thought of Wei Wuxian and him like that. And his wife is concerned but also finding this like absolutely hilarious.

This of course makes him realise that no it's not Wei Wuxian, he wouldn't come near Jiang Cheng with a ten foot pole, so his wife is just terrified of dogs all on her own.

Years later he goes on a hunt to Dafan mountain with A-Ling and they meet the mad demonic cultivator who Jiang Cheng knows is really Wei Wuxian this time à la his Wen Ning summoning.

Wei Wuxian hides behind Lan Wangji and is all like 'You're not my type Sect Leader Jiang' thinking that he'll make JC forget about the Wen Ning thing by offending him as Jiang Cheng is competitive and doesn't like being called second best.

Except he has the surprise of his life when Jiang Cheng just heaves a huuuge sigh of relief and vehemently says 'THANK F**K.'

Somehow, this turns into a fix-it.

His wife of course has never let him live down the time he thought she was the Yiling Laozu.

---------------------------------

This just randomly popped into my head and it's now living here rent free but I have no zeal to actually write it because it's easier to imagine it and dang I wish I was motivated lol I have 2 WIPs for this fandom just sitting there staring at me accusingly.

[dinomight]

Thanks for tagging me @foxofninetales! <333

First lines of your last 20 fics!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I've only posted 22 fics on ao3 over the last four years (which. four years. what the fuck. I'm about to graduate college. hold on I'm repressing this existential crisis for later) so there's a mix of DMBJ, BNHA, and CR in here lol.

Newest to oldest:

1) Half the mercenaries are bleeding out or dead on the floor when a strange thought occurs to him: is he gonna have to sharpen his shovel after this? (sticks and stones ficlet three)

2) “Oh, for—this is ridiculous. Just hold my hand.” (sticks and stones ficlet two)

3) “Who did this to you?” He keeps his voice even. (included second sentence since the first one was the prompt lol, sticks and stones ficlet one)

4) It’s Bai Haotian they send to fetch him, in the end. (where my armor ends (where my skin begins))

5) The crack of his ribs giving way to fists echoes in his ears louder than any gunshot. (things that scream and shout)

6) Kyouka has never been afraid of the dark. (a silence so loud)

7) They’re just outside of UA’s gates when someone steps into their path. (how my poor heart aches)

8) It’s quiet after Izuku fades away. (weight of family(pull of gravity))

9) Hitoshi doesn’t dream. (a life in your shape)

10) The sun is in full force today as Class 1A goes about their hero training in Ground Beta. It makes every last one of them sweaty and irritable, and nobody makes worse decisions than sweaty and irritable teenagers on a literal battleground. (yes I know that's two sentences, but the second one is crucial to the energy of the fic. and it's funny. here it comes (sun))

11) The first student Shouta expels watches a classmate fall off a ledge during training and does nothing. (rhymes of yesterday)

12) (two lines again because the first was the prompt)

“Can you be honest with me for once?”

“Iida—” Uraraka starts, but Iida shakes his head.

(hide the bullet from the gun)

13) When it comes down to it, he’s the one who chooses her. (a cr fic! woo! I should reread this one actually, it's still one of my favorites, pick up the pieces)

14) It starts with an innocuous comment. (if you're standing (if you're bleeding))

15) Toshinori remembers the exact moment he knew he needs to become a hero. (the downside of this meme. realizing like over a year too late that 'knew' should prob be 'had known'. hm. another secret of the trade)

16) The thing about living in the Burial Mounds that really gets to Wei Wuxian isn’t the turnips, or the howling winds, or the lack of comfortable bedding. (what you let under your skin)

17) They haven’t talked about it yet. (everybody loves a little different)

18) Bakugou Katsuki is four years old when he decides he doesn’t care about soulmates. (to carve your name into my heart)

19) Ever since she became a teacher and started adhering to an actual schedule, Nemuri’s had a pretty specific morning routine. (your rule of thumb)

20) The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. (paint me in trust)

Notes:

I start with dialogue way less than I thought I did? like damn only three of these are dialogue and two of those are prompt dialogue

I do, however, start with a hell of a lot of one-liners. I don't have an exact number bc I'm too lazy to go back and check all those fics but god, a lot of those were one-liners

8 of these start with either "It" or "The"

4 start with a character name

11 of them contain a character name

only 8 of these are ten words or less (surprise surprise, I'm a wordy ass bitch)

My favorite is my most recent one. It was one of those rare, glorious occasions when a full opening line just pops into your head, no need to muse on certain words or debate shit. Also I love a good bluntly casual horrific image.

Checked and I'm pretty sure everybody I know from DMBJ has been tagged already, so I'm dragging in the tramps instead: @officialratprince @simpshou @sitaray @aizawa-wears-crocs @dreamvevo @aureateart @honeyandsonshine @hideawayhiraeth @shinmomo as well as my beloved jojo @princelukeorgana

[drwcn]

discordance!verse part 7: an interesting morning in jingshi, Lan Wangji is shameless, much to the shock of Wei Wuxian. rated M??T??

in which wwx is lxc’s husband through political alliance, and there is an affair. 

[8] | [7] | [6] | [5] | [4] | [3] | [2] | [1] [synopsis] OR

see [discau tag] or [discordance navigation page] for all installments  

(~10 days before part 5/6)

Wei Wuxian wakes up slowly, warm and comfortable. The first thing he sees is the green bamboo shoots past the white tulle curtains, just outside the window, and the droplet of dew glistening under the morning sun. It had rained some time during the early hours; he recalls drifting to sleep listening to the muffled pitter-patter against Jingshi's roof, Lan Zhan curled at his side…

Lan Zhan is still there, fast asleep, as though he hasn't moved an inch all night. He is pressed against Wei Wuxian's shoulder, one arm thrown across his chest, every even breath a gentle breeze across his neck.

Even in sleep, Lan Zhan is a vision. That peerless face which others find cold and intimidating, is relaxed and open. Thick lashes kiss pink flushed cheeks. Soft full lips part minutely, still a bit swollen. Long silk hair runs like ink between Wei Wuxian's fingers.

He releases a soft affectionate huff, pulling the covers more securely around them both. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes, ready to indulge in sleep for another couple more hours. He doesn't know why they don't do this more often, it's so nice…

Wait!

His eyes snap open, all thoughts of sleep vanishing instantly.

Fuck! We slept in!

There's a very good reason why he and Lan Zhan never wake up warm, coddled together in a patch of morning sun like two aristocratic cats: it's because Cloud Recesses' rules are fucking nightmares - and also because he and Lan Zhan are technically, technically in an illicit affair - but mostly because of Cloud Recesses’ rules. Lan Zhan always has to get up at a quarter before mao-shi to sneak back to hanshi so he could continue the charade of having woken up in the bed he definitely didn't sleep in.

Judging by the angle of sunlight spilling into the room, it must be at least si-shi by now, a whole two shichen later than when Lan Zhan is usually up and about…

Oh ffffffuuuck -

Dap, dap, dap!

There are three polite knocks at the door. A disciple's hesitant voice echoes from the other side.

"W-Wei-jun? Are you in there?"

He can hear the anxiety clearly in their tone. Because of course they must be frantic! Lan Zhan's secretarial disciple would've gone in to bring him his breakfast, like he does every morning, and discovered Hanguang-jun's bed and sheets as cold as ice and Lan Wangji himself nowhere to be found.

It's been at least four hours, Cloud Recesses must be having a full blown panic attack by now!!

Wei Wuxian jolts up from bed and is torn between feeling sorry and amazed when that exaggerated movement only manages to elicit an incoherent grumble from Lan Zhan.

Oblivious to Wei Wuxian's impending meltdown, Lan Wangji curls a little deeper into the covers, but does not wake up. 

No time to worry about that, Wei Wuxian yanks the covers over Lan Wangji's head to cover him and pads across the matted floor to the clothing rack. He can't answer the door even if he wants to; he's completely fucking naked.

Wei Wuxian is just about finished with the ties of his second layer of robes when the disciple speaks again,  

"Wei-jun?! Are you in there?! Many apologies for disturbing you…but - but it's urgent! Please, could you open the door?"

For the first time since the death of his husband, Wei Wuxian is glad for his widower status. As the previous Sect Master's yishu 遗属, it would be bad etiquette for lower disciples to barge into his private residence without invite. Not that any of them would be capable: the seal Wei Wuxian placed on the inside of the door last night is an invention of his own. He's confident that no more than a dozen cultivators of their time can break it without expending serious spiritual energy.

Thank goodness last-night-me had the foresight to do that…

Though, he does wonder why it's a bunch of disciples and not someone like Lan Qiren knocking on his door. His nerves calm by half a fraction. If they're coming to me, perhaps they haven't directed this particular issue to higher authorities. Probably doesn't want to give the grandpas an impromptu stroke by declaring Lan Zhan missing…

Wei Wuxian shrugs on his outer layer, and in the calmest, most put-upon voice he can manage, he answers, "What is it? I am feeling poorly this morning."

"Begging your pardon, Wei-jun, it's just…Hanguang-jun, uhm, we can't find Hanguang-jun."

Glancing behind his shoulder, Wei Wuxian winces as he sees Lan Wangji stirring, turning onto his back and shoving the covers out of the way.

"Ah, yes, Hanguang-jun," replies Wei Wuxian, channeling his inner Lan Qiren and attempting his most authoritative tone of voice. "Sect Master has informed me that he’s gone on a…a meditative trek. It's been some time since he's been able to cultivate in peace. He will be returning shortly. No need…no need to worry the Elders."

Through the thin walls, he hears a collective sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness. Forgive us for disturbing you, Wei-jun. If you're feeling unwell, should a healer be sent for -"

"No! No, that's quite alright. I'll be fine. Return to your studies. Do not dally." Wei Wuxian quickly dismisses the disciples. 

Ear pressed against the door, he listens to their footsteps walking away until he can't hear anything but the sparrows chirping in the woods. Letting out the breath he’s been holding anxiously in his chest, Wei Wuxian pads himself in relief.

Crisis averted.

When he turns around, Lan Wangji is sitting up in bed, staring dazedly at him.

"I slept in. It's very late, isn't it?"

The sight of him like that, blankets gathered at the waist, pale chest bared and hair unbound, immediately steals from Wei Wuxian the breath he’d only just been able to catch.

Hanguang-jun is truly the Light Bearer, he laments, mindless of the smile that overtakes him. Even the sun seems to be drawn to the good Lan Zhan. Streaming onto the bed from the window behind, morning sunlight enshrouds his entire being and condenses into a soft halo around him, as if to remind the world that this man is blessed by the gods.

Yet this god-chosen man, destined for immortality, has given himself over to Wei Wuxian last night, delivered into his hands, with pure trust and a small smile in the dark.

Wei Wuxian feels the back of his neck heat up from the memory. Get yourself together, Wei Wuxian, you flagrant degenerate, it’s practically midday. 

"Wei Ying, I…" Lan Wangji averts his eyes as Wei Wuxian takes a seat beside him, holding his clothes ready for him.

"Ah, Lan Zhan, don't be embarrassed." Wei Wuxian chuckles, reaching out to twirl a strand of Lan Wangji's hair around his finger teasingly. "So you slept in, happens to the best of us." 

Leaning forward and pecking a chaste kiss to his forehead, Wei Wuxian hands him his robes and says, "Alright, come on, let's get up. You have to work, and I have to assist my venerated Hanguang-jun. A bath and some breakfast - I told the disciples I'm not feeling my best, they'll probably send whatever I ask for. Nobody ever has to know our Sect Master was sleeping the morning away."

The tip of Lan Wangji's ears turns pink, but instead of accepting the garbs the other man holds out to him, he shifts closer and winds his arms around Wei Wuxian shamelessly. "Yes perhaps, but I am not entirely to blame."

This time, Wei Wuxian does blush. He draws his head back, aghast. "L-Lan Zhan! H-how could you say such a thing in broad daylight!

"Is it not so?" Lan Wangji rests his chin against his lover's shoulder and pivots his head almost accusingly.

Wei Wuxian sputters. Why you shameless little - you - I -

Memories from the night before come rushing back: Lan Zhan's earnest open face when he asked Wei Wuxian to indulge him, climbing onto his lap and whispering into his ear exactly what he wanted. Wei Wuxian is used to Lan Zhan taking charge. It’s been that way since the two of them became intimate. He’s thrilled, more than thrilled, to share those stolen moments with Lan Zhan. In fact, it always does funny wonderful things to him to see the disciplined Hanguang-jun let loose the way he does when they’re together.

But to have his Lan Zhan laying under him, arching and trembling and falling apart for him, his name uttered by those heavenly lips like an answer, a spell, a prayer…How does any reasonable man come back from that?

Oh my god…I - I deflowered the Second Jade of Gusu… Wei Wuxian realizes with a jolt, suddenly hot under the collar. It's not that the implication didn't occur to him yesterday, but the weight of his actions had not fully sunk in until now. It's probably not a coincidence that Lan Wangji, who has never overslept a day in his life, fails to keep to his rigid internal clock after Wei Wuxian spent most of the night having his ways with him.

When did they even go to actual sleep? It couldn't have been any time before midnight. Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian, you fool, you absolute idiot, how could you have done this?! You should've been more careful!!

…Lan Zhan had been so careful with me…

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji calls his name, arms still locked around him. "You told them I'd be gone for a while yet, yes?"

Wei Wuxian frowns, not sure where he's headed. "Yeah?"

Lan Wangji shuffles closer, one of his hands travelling across the front of Wei Wuxian's robes until he finds the knotted sash. Blinking innocently, he says without a shred of pretense, "I do not doubt your skills, but my memories of last night are a little vague. Perhaps you ought to demonstrate for me again, as a reminder?"

For a long, long moment, neither of them move, Lan Wangji's request apparently having shocked Wei Wuxian into petrified silence. He does nothing but stare back at him, so much so Lan Wangji begins to wonder if he went a little too far with the teasing. But then Wei Wuxian's expression shifts, something raw and hungry flashing across his face. The next moment, Lan Wangji is flipped over onto his front, the covers yanked off exposing his pale bare form, every inch a perfection. 

Lan Wangji shivers, more reactionary than actually cold. He can feel Wei Ying's gaze on him, heated and appreciative, and as much as he doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, he squirms under the scrutiny.

"Wei Y-"

But the weight of Wei Ying's body is suddenly flush against his back, and Lan Wangji notices with a start that while he is thoroughly bare, Wei Ying is mostly dressed and does not appear to be in any hurry to change that.

Does Wei Ying really intend to take him while fully clothed?! Somehow the thought doesn't bother him, not in the least. Rather, it spurs him on, sparking the desire that simmers just beneath his skin. 

His hair is swept to side; Lan Wangji groans as a pair of lips press a hot, open mouthed kiss against his neck behind one redden ear.

"One would think, Hanguang-jun, that requesting physical intimacy in the middle of the day counts for misbehaviour."

The needy kiss transforms into a sharp bite.

Lan Wangji suffocates a groan, shuddering as the kiss trails between his shoulder blades and lower. For a few minutes, all he can focus on is the touch of hands and lips and tongue mapping out the planes of his body and wringing from him wonderful pleasures that he would not otherwise so easily relinquish.

"As the once disciplinary officer of Cloud Recesses," continues Wei Ying, lifting Lan Zhan by the hips and pushing him onto his knees. "Please enlighten us the appropriate consequences."

Wei Ying sounds very much like a cat savouring its play time with its poor prey before devouring it alive. Although Lan Wangji would never admit it out loud even under duress, he can confess to himself in the safety of his mind that this fate is exactly what he wants.

The Wei Ying of last night was careful, gentle, and steadfast despite being nervous.That Wei Ying had held his hands, lacing their fingers together, and whispered sweet lovely things as he brought them to their heights and back. Lan Wangji wasn't lying when he said his memories were a bit fuzzy; the entire experience had been…a lot.

However, Wei Ying in the morning is a whole different beast, and Lan Zhan aches just imagining what waits ahead. He wants him, by god, he wants him.

"One would think, Wei-jun," Lan Wangji manages to grit out, "that as someone who holds the highest running record of punishments received during his guest disciple days, you would be more than acquainted with Cloud Recesses' method of discipl - ah!"

The cry is ripped from his throat before he could help it. Panting, Lan Wangji writhes against the sheets and marvels a little at just how readily he receives what Wei Ying gives him.

But Wei Ying's tone loses its playfulness right away. "Lan Zhan -" The hand that threads through his hair is light and the following kiss on his left shoulder is tender. "- are you - are you hurt? Was I -"

Perhaps that cry sounded more distressed than he actually was. Lan Wangji turns his head to meet Wei Ying's worried gaze and melts a little. Blood is roaring in his ears and he is hot all over, but the warm cocoon that envelops his heart has nothing to do with lust.

Wei Ying presses another soft, comforting kiss against the shell of his ear and then another against his temple. "Say something, should I stop?"

Stop?! If this endearing idiot even thinks about stopping now Lan Wangji will absolutely smack him out of pure frustration.  

Catching his breath, he pushes back against Wei Wuxian and is immensely satisfied when the other man shudders in response. Reveling in the knowledge that he is the only one to ever see Wei Ying this way, he does it again. This time, the hands gripping his deviant hips are no longer gentle.

"Are you going to make good on my punishments," challenges Lan Wangji, batting his lashes, infinitesimally coy. "Or were those merely empty threats?"

The speed at which Wei Ying's eyes darken with desire almost makes Lan Wangji regret his impertinence. But then he is being thrust forward without warning, the unexpected motion hitting that spot inside him that makes his toes curl and his vision go white, and he instantly regrets nothing.

"W-Wei Ying…"

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he is aware that he is being objectively loud, but it really isn't his fault. Who in their right mind would expect him to be silent when he is being railed into the bed like both their immortalities depended on it. He just hopes Wei Ying has the good sense to cast a silencing talisman (lucky for them, he did).

Lan Zhan moans into the sheets, his eyes rolling back. How on earth is he so wrecked so quickly?! What is Wei Ying doing to him? In this position, he is completely at his lover's mercy, but he doesn't want to fight it, not at all. Clutching the wooden headboard, Lan Wangji surrenders the last bit of his self-control and submerges under the waves of sensations and sounds and bliss.  

~

Lan Zhan is quiet afterwards, soaking in the bath Wei Wuxian prepared for him. Wei Wuxian wipes himself down perfunctorily, changes into fresh robes and then proceeds to meticulously tidy the bed. The sheets are…probably not salvageable. He'll have to burn them or bury them, because there's no way he can hand them over to the disciples on laundry duty in the state that they're in. Even he can't talk his way out of that one.

When he's sure there is no more incriminating evidence of their activities, Wei Wuxian rounds behind the screen to find Lan Zhan exactly where he'd left him.

Eyes closed, he looks so young. It's not fair how everything must fall to him now. Lan Zhan never complains, but he must be exhausted after all that's happened since the end of last year.

His heart squeezing tightly, Wei Wuxian picks up a wash cloth and sits down by the tub. Lovely eyes flutter open just as he runs the warm towel over the round of Lan Zhan's shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He asks softly, wiping a bit of dried spent from Lan Zhan's chin. "Was I too rough?"

The tip of Lan Zhan's ears turns pink again. He shakes his head, taking Wei Wuxian's hand and caresses his knuckles. "No, you were perfect."  

Still, something nags Wei Wuxian in the mind of his mind. Their hands still clasped together, he shifts closer and searches Lan Zhan's face. 

"Lan Zhan, what brought this on? Last night and this morning. You know I don't mind being the …uhm…" Blushing, he clears his throat, suddenly thin-skinned. Damn it, Wei Wuxian, get it together. "You know I don’t mind being the way we were before. Love it in fact, can't get enough of it even. I don't want you to think I expect you to - uhm - return the favour... as it were."

Lan Zhan's eyes are serious but also bright and earnest with understanding and intent. He thumbs the blush on Wei Wuxian's cheek, curling his fingers around his nape. 

"I'm yours now, Wei Ying." He says, voice hushed but resolve firm. "Do you understand? No more nonsense about finding me a proper husband, or a wife to bear me heirs, or any talk of that kind. Even if the Elders bar me from marrying you on the account of you being my brother's widower, I'm yours, and you're not allowed to abandon me. I won't have it."

"Lan Zhan..." The back of his throat grows unbearably tight. Wei Wuxian feels as though he could cry. He remembers their conversation back in Qishan when he saw Lan Zhan with little Wen Yuan and the ensuing row they had afterwards. It was perhaps the first and only time Lan Zhan lost his temper with him. He'd been so angry, so hurt, that Wei Ying would even suggest he should marry another.

Wei Wuxian, if you truly want me to be with someone else, then what, tell me, are we doing now?!

Wei Wuxian squeezes his hand, pressing a heartbroken kiss to his palm, then another, then another. He feels horrible with himself. How could he not realize earlier? Is this why Lan Zhan had been so insistent?

"Lan Zhan, my good Lan Zhan, you didn't have to - I won't leave you, Lan Zhan, I promised you, I won't. You have me, you'll always have me, you didn't have to -"

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji interrupts him, seeing his self-deprecating tendencies are once again leading him down the wrong line of thought. "I want you, want to be with you. Last night was not solely to drive home a point. Even if I did want to make a point, it would only be part of the reason, minimal at best, and certainly would not account for this morning.” 

Wei Wuxian blinks, swallowing thickly. "And the real reason?"

"Well, surely it's very telling." Lan Wangji inches closer. The angle of the round tub makes it awkward but he doesn't care. A smile playing at his lips, he whispers into the other man's ear and delights at the way Wei Ying pulls back with a scandalized cry.

"Lan Zhan!"

Wei Wuxian is sure that his entire face is on fire. Who would've thought the esteemed Hanguang-jun could be such a lethal combination of imaginative mind and dirty mouth?!

But Lan Wangji only chuckles, nuzzling his neck. "Thank you for being so obliging, Wei Ying. I hope I was not too much of a burden."

I’m going to cry, thinks Wei Wuxian, I’m actually going to cry. Inside his chest, his heart has swelled so incredibly that he feels it will burst any second. "Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, my good Lan-er-gege," he chants, over and over, peppering the lightest and sweetest of kisses along Lan Wangji's face. "You can't say things like that without warning! My heart can't take it!"

"Mn,” Lan Wangji purrs.“You'll live."

"Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan, what am I going to do with you?" Wei Wuxian sighs,  holding the other man by the curve of his jaw and smiles that sunshine smile.

"Stuck with me, I'm afraid. Hasn't anyone told you?" Lan Zhan peers at him through hooded eyes. "Us Gusu Lans, we're rooks."

"Rooks?"

"Rooks mate for life."

At that, Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Wangji impossibly close and silences him with a deep, long kiss.

-

[part 8]

yishu 遗属 - family that is left behind through death. 

[captainkirkk]

✩ WEEKLY FIC ROUND-UP ✩

A collection of fics I’ve read (/reread) and thoroughly enjoyed in the past week-ish from all kinds of fandoms and genres.

ATLA

✩ a nation, held by snowdarkred

It doesn’t take long for the rumors to start.

The Fire Nation prides itself on its civilization. It isn’t like the other, lesser, nations who throw their children away by sending them into war. Those uncultured and unfeeling savages who are destroying their own future faster than the Fire Nation can save them from themselves.

Every Fire Nation child goes to school. They learn reading and writing, the illustrious history of their country, and what will be expected of them as proper, upstanding Fire Nation citizens. They are to be protected, because children are the future glory of the nation.

The crown prince is thirteen when his father burns his face in front of an audience of hundreds.

Harry Potter

this dark world aches for a splash of the sun by linil

The point is, Harry is having a right old time and he is suddenly, very much not pale. He’s outside as much as is physically possible, which means he soaks up gallons of sunlight a day. It seeps into his skin, into the muscles and bones beneath, probably, staining him a warm mahogany, barely paler than Hermione.

Umbrella Academy

Razor burns and other lingo by TheArchaeologist

In the apocalypse, beards were useful, because they protect the skin from the elements.

At The Commission, beards were deadly, because your target could grab them and overpower you.

When he returned home, Five was thirteen, and did not need to think about shaving his face.

Now, Five is sixteen, and the stubble has returned.

(The Hargreeves men have a moment and Five just wants to be left in peace.)

[discard all feelings, the stars scar my ceiling] by Anonymous

the hargreeves kids were always set to be extraordinary.

oh, they would have developed powers regardless of the exact circumstances of their upbringing, but the specific powers they ended up with are defined by just that–– the ways they tried to protect themselves from reginald's cruelty.

Untamed

​✩ The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (+ podfic)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”

“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.

(In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.)

✩ Something Yet to Learn by Glitterbombshell

Part 1 of Joy In the Midst of These Things

“Wei Wuxian,” the man grits out, and he pauses with one hand reaching for the door handle. The disciple who had come in to speak to Lan Qiren brushes past him and exits the pavilion without a backwards glance. Wei Wuxian turns back to Master Lan, one eyebrow tilting up in question. “An urgent matter has come up,” Lan Qiren says, every word sounding like it’s being forcibly dragged from him. “His Excellency requests my presence. Their current instructor is ill, I was meant to take over classes for today,” he continues, gesturing towards the tiny juniors. He swallows heavily, and the next sentence sounds bitter. Choked. “I cannot leave them unattended.”

Wei Wuxian just blinks at him.

(Wei Wuxian is asked (under duress) to babysit a class of tiny Lan cultivators for just a few minutes. A few minutes turns into an hour, turns into two hours, turns into an impromptu literal field trip and now there's an entire class that is weeks ahead of their curriculum, their most junior disciples have apparently imprinted on Wei Wuxian like baby birds, and Lan Qiren has no one to blame but himself.)

détente by cafecliche (Note: All the Untamed fics by this author are great.)

Part 1 of the yunmeng accords

Wei Wuxian sits up a little further. Then instantly regrets it. “Go to bed, Jiang Cheng,” he groans. “I’ll live.”

“Will you?” Jiang Cheng says. “Because if you die in my guest room, Gusu Lan will have my head.”

He and Jin Ling really are the same person, sometimes. Wei Wuxian considers pointing out, again, that he is nowhere near dying, but he lets it go. He’s tired. And it’s apparently not helping. “Not all of Gusu Lan,” he says mildly. “I think the elders would send gifts.”

(Or: an unexpected stay in Lotus Pier.)

the soft animal by cafecliche

“You don’t think that’s strange?” he says. His voice, his new voice, is familiar now. But sometimes it almost startles him, hearing it come from his mouth. “It’s been nine months. I’ve used them almost every day. I should know how long these legs are.”

(Or: Wei Wuxian has a plan to train Mo Xuanyu's body. The results aren't quite what he expects.)

the price of a home by JemTheKingOfSass

Part 1 of the worth of a whipping boy

Jiang Fengmian places a calming hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, but gives a gentle push towards the ground. Jiang Cheng watches as his brother sinks to his knees without any fuss. Madam Yu stalks over, staring down at him with a blank face and determined eyes.

“You said you understood when we took you in. You’re old enough now to start earning your keep.” Madam Yu reaches down and tugs loose the sash holding Wei Wuxian’s robes together. A few rough pulls of fabric and he is unceremoniously stripped to the waist. Zidian sparks in her hand.

Losing My Mind by pupeez4eva (Note: This author also has a great selection of Untamed fic, but I’m only reccing one fic so this list doesn’t up ridiculously long)

On a drunken dare, Jiang Cheng drinks a potion that allows him to hear other people’s lustful thoughts. It’s just his luck that he’s stuck in close vicinity with the guy who is completely and utterly besotted with his idiot brother.

One thing's for certain - there is no way he's leaving this with his sanity intact.

(Or, where Jiang Cheng has a lot of regrets, Lan Wangji is having an ongoing sexuality crisis, and Wei Wuxian is as oblivious as ever).

[wangxian-trash-cultivator]

in the dark of the night

Summary: In which Wei Wuxian starts playing the ghost hunting simulation game Phasmophobia with Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, and Wen Ning and wakes up Lan Wangji by shouting like a baby about it in the middle of the night.

Rating: T || Word count: 2600 || Tropes/Genres: omg they were roommates; childhood friends; light fluff; pre-relationship wangxian; mutual pining

Notes: I haven't actually played this game, but my roommate had just started playing it and would tell me about it while showing me reaction videos. Paired with his screams in the middle of the night while playing... this fic was born. If you play, I apologize for any inaccuracies based on my limited knowledge base of the game mechanics! 

Originally created this as a twitter thread fic and adapted it for AO3. Come say hello on twitter! I’m in the process of converting other threadfics over. This is part of my omg they were roommates AU series.  Enjoy!

AO3 Link || Original Twitter Thread

It’s been 1 month and Lan Wangji has gotten used to the fact that Wei Wuxian stays up late.

He’s always been a night owl.

Growing up it wasn’t uncommon for Lan Wangji to wake up to an explosion of text messages waiting for him.  One sided conversations Wei Wuxian would have, mostly nonsense.  The occasional existential crisis.

That was just the way he was.  A supernova of constant energy, thoughts always rushing at a million miles a minute.

So yes, Lan Wangji had an idea of what Wei Wuxian’s ‘sleeping habits’ were like when they moved in together. 

They’re respectful of each other’s complete opposite schedules.  Well, Lan Wangji is always respectful.  He goes about his morning routines in a comfortable silence, taking care not to disturb Wei Wuxian while he sleeps until noon most days. 

Some days he disturbs the curated silence though.

He takes his guqin out onto the balcony with his morning tea, plucks out gentle melodies and hums along wordlessly.  It’s a good way to start the day.

For the most part Wei Wuxian has been pretty subdued. 

On two occasions Lan Wangji had woken at 2am to Wei Wuxian crawling into his bed, the scent of rice wine heavy enough on his breath to make even Lan Wangji dizzy.

The conversations were still one sided, with Wei Wuxian saying anything to come to mind as he nestled in close and asked to be held.  So Lan Wangji would silently hold him, wondering if Wei Wuxian could decipher the morse code messages his pounding hard was sending.

He never could.

Only in the last week had Wei Wuxian really started disturbing Lan Wangji’s sleep schedule though. 

The first incident occurred on Sunday night.

Lan Wangji had woken to the sounds of shouting and stumbled to Wei Wuxian’s room, bleary eyed and disheveled, only to find him glued to his laptop with a gaming headset on. 

“No no no— fuck fuck FUCK! I’m dead, it got me. Hello? Hellooooooo? Can anyone hear me? I’m— oh, Lan Zhan, I’m sorry! Did I wake you up?”

Lan Wangji soundlessly looked between the laptop and Wei Wuxian before returning to bed.  Then it happened again the next night.  And the night after that.  After the fourth night, Lan Wangji finally had enough.

It’s nearly 1 o’clock in the afternoon when Wei Wuxian shuffles into the kitchen the next day, bed head wild, rubbing his eyes. 

Lan Wangji’s chest thrums.  He allows himself to be distracted for only a moment before remembering he’s mad at him and they need to have a talk.

“Good mor-mor—” Wei Wuxian interrupts himself with a loud yawn. ‘Ning, Lan Zhan’

“Wei Ying, it’s no longer morning.”

Wei Wuxian gives him a sleepy smile and pours a bowl of cereal.  It’s hard to scold him when he looks this adorable.  But Lan Wangji’s entire routine has been upended for the past few days.  He needs to put his foot down.

“Lan Zhan, you’re staring at me.”

“I am not.”

He is. 

“Oooookay, whatever you say,” Wei Wuxian says. “Sorry for waking you again last night, that game is just scary sometimes.”

“Why do you play it then?”

“A-Ning didn’t want to play it alone,” Wei Wuxian shrugs.

Lan Wangji’s chest feels warm again.  Of course Wei Wuxian would do something like that.  

“I made Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang join us too.”

And then his heart sinks for some reason.  Wei Wuxian hadn’t asked him to play with them.  Lan Wangji doesn’t even have any games on his own laptop, only really uses it for work and watching cooking tutorials.  

He has no reason to be jealous over their little group.  But he is.

“What is the game?” Lan Wangji asks.

“You wouldn’t like it,” Wei Wuxian says, amused twinkle in his eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s a ghost hunting game.”

Lan Wangji stares at him.  Wei Wuxian is someone who still sleeps with a nightlight on and rushes up flights stairs in the middle of the night like he is being chased by something.  Is he serious right now?

“Wei Ying, you are terrified of such things.”

“Yeah, but it’s fun to play with them,” Wei Wuxian laughs. “Even you might enjoy it.”

Well, what’s that supposed to mean?

“Okay, I will play too then,” Lan Wangji says.  Wei Wuxian blinks, looks at him like he hasn’t heard right. 

“Really?”

“Mn. Install it for me.”

Later that night they are sitting in their own bedrooms.  Wei Wuxian explained that the mic feedback would echo if they were in the same room, plus it was a better ambiance for the game if they were separated.  So Lan Wangji agreed. 

Lan Wangji is wearing a headset he borrowed from Wei Wuxian and listening to Jiang Cheng, Nie Huaisang, Wen Ning, and Wei Wuxian chatter in the discord voice channel.

He has no clue what they hell they're talking about. 

Something about sanity.  Jiang Cheng is telling Wei Wuxian not to turn all the lights on in the house again unless they want to die.

It's been fifteen minutes and they haven't even started playing yet.  They're all too busy bickering amongst each other. 

“Lan Zhan are you still on? I can't hear you,” Wei Wuxian asks.

“Yes.”

“Do you understand what to do?” Nie Huaisang asks.

Is he supposed to? All they've done is spoken in circles about various items.  Lan Wangji tuned out after Wen Ning said oiuja board 4 times. 

“I will follow Wei Ying.”

“No, we have to split up and search! The ghost only shows up if you're in a room alone,” Jiang Cheng says.

“Lan Zhan it's ok, follow me until you get the hang of it. I'll tell you what to do," Wei Wuxian says brightly. 

“Whatever, let's just start,” Jiang Cheng grumbles.

Lan Wangji wonders exactly how fun this could possibly be if Jiang Cheng is already sounding so aggravated.  Until he remembers one of Wei Wuxian's favourite things to do is provoke and tease him. 

“Here Lan Zhan, use the thermometer to search for the ghost, it's the most important role!" Wei Wuxian says.

“No it isn't!” Jiang Cheng argues.

“Shhhhh, stop shouting, the lights will start flickering!” Wen Ning chimes in.

The mechanics are clunky.  The graphics are definitely nothing special.  Lan Wangji really doesn't understand what could possibly be so scary about the game as they shuffle around the little house.  Their characters are merging through the doors, for god's sake. 

After another fifteen minutes of investigating Wei Wuxian says they should actually split up.  So Lan Wangji wanders around the basement and points the thermometer at random objects.

The voice channel is buzzing with their conversation but Lan Wangji notices something strange.  It actually sounds like they're speaking to each other from varying distances.  Wei Wuxian sounds slightly muffled and quiet, but he can still hear him pretty clearly.

The others, he can barely hear.  Even though they are obviously shouting in to their mics 

Lan Wangji doesn't use discord, so he figures maybe it's just some sort of technical error and chooses not to address it.

And he's really still not getting the hang of this game.

Bored with wandering around the basement, he goes back upstairs to find Wei Wuxian.  The sound of heartbeats floods his ears, catching him by surprise.

“I hear something,” Lan Wangji says quietly.

No one responds.

“Wei Ying?”

No answer.

Lan Wangji frowns and then realizes that his character is locked in the basement now.  He removes the headset and goes to Wei Wuxian's room.

“The lights are off, the lights are off! Fuckkkkk I'm so fucked, I'm so—”

Lan Wangji taps him on the shoulder and Wei Wuxian screams.

Lan Wangji jumps and takes a step back as Wei Wuxian rips his headphones off.

“Lan Zhan! What the fuck, you can't scare me like that!" Wei Wuxian is near tears and breathing heavily.

Lan Wangji's heart lurches, he really didn't mean to do that. 

“I am sorry,” he says quietly.

“It's fine, it's fine,” Wei Wuxian waves his hand and then rests it against his chest. “Why did you come in?”

“I think my microphone is broken, no one could hear me, and I could not hear anyone.”

“Ahhh, yes that's part of the game. I should have told you that, I'm sorry.”

“And I was locked in the basement. Do you have the key to let me out?”

Lan Wangji doesn't really understand the look Wei Wuxian is giving him.  Really, it looks like he's about to start crying again. 

“The doors lock sometimes, it's the ghost fucking with everyone. If you start to panic that's when it kills you.”

“Oh, I see,” Lan Wangji says and looks at Wei Wuxian's screen. “I will return to my room then.”

As he turns Wei Wuxian's fingers close gently around his wrist.  He is giving him that look again.

“Lan Zhan, are you having fun?”

So far, he's felt like the only one that doesn't understand an inside joke between friends.  But Wei Wuxian looks so... hopeful.

“Yes, Wei Ying. I think I understand better now.”

The smile that Wei Wuxian gives him makes Lan Wangji's knees weak.

So what if he doesn't understand a single thing about this game.  If stumbling through it makes Wei Wuxian smile at him like that, he'll gladly break his routine to play it with him.  As the night goes on, Lan Wangji does start to get the hang of it.

In fact, he starts to take it pretty seriously.

During one game he's the only one to keep a level head when the silhouette of a ghost child starts appearing through the flickering lights.  

Wei Wuxian dies during every game they play.

The second anything starts to happen, he immediately begins babbling into the mic and Lan Wangji can hear his fingers smashing against the keys as he forces his character to run.

He's singled out every time. 

Even as Lan Wangji chases Wei Wuxian's character around in an attempt to draw the ghost's attention away and save him, he's always silent on his own mic so the ghost ignores him.

In order to draw it away, he would have to start panicking more than Wei Wuxian. 

He hasn't spoken much at all during any of their games, always unable to make himself heard over the rest of them.

But Wei Wuxian keeps dying.  And he feels bad.  He wants to help.

So during the next game when they learn the ghost's name Lan Wangji makes the decision to draw it out. 

Before he does so he approaches Wei Wuxian's character and drops some smudge sticks, which gives their characters more time to hide when being hunted by a ghost, at his feet.

“Wei Ying, take these.”

“Lan Zhan I already have some! Use them for yourself.”

“You always run out of them, take mine.”

“Are you two done courting each other? We have a ghost to hunt,” Jiang Cheng says loudly.

“You're just jealous you don't have a friend as good to you as Lan Zhan is to me!” Wei Wuxian replies. 

Lan Wangji has to cover his mic with his hand so no one hears the content little sigh that escapes his lips.

“Are we splitting up now?” Nie Huaisang asks.

“I'll take upstairs,” Jiang Cheng announces and disappears.

Lan Wangji continues following Wei Wuxian around when everyone else splits up.  By now he has figured out that the thing that makes the ghost pursue someone is linked to low sanity levels in the game.

Shouting, cursing, crying— all of the things Wei Wuxian does— means his sanity levels are constantly near 0. 

Ways to offset this and preserve sanity without having to take a sanity tablet include having their characters stay in well-lit areas or return to the van outside.  But when Wei Wuxian is running away he doesn't think logically.  And they can't carry sanity tablets around all the time, they need the inventory for other items.

“Lan Zhan, why are you following me?” Wei Wuxian asks after five minutes

Lan Wangji doesn't say anything at first until he's sure he can't hear the others.

“To protect Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan”' Wei Wuxian laughs. “It's just a game.”

It's well past Lan Wangji's bedtime.  He might be a little loopy with sleep deprivation.

“Shhh, I will draw it out. Wei Ying, hide with the camera when I do.”

“Lan Zhan, are you sacrificing yourself for me?”

“....Mn.”

Wei Wuxian's laughter rings out again over the mic and Lan Wangji keeps shushing him.

Doesn't he realize the more noise he makes that he's going to be the one to draw the ghost's attention then?

How is Lan Wangji supposed to do this if Wei Wuxian won't cooperate? 

“Ahhh Lan Zhan, you're too much for me.”

“Wei Ying, this is very serious.”

“Yes, of course, of course!”

An abrupt hissing noise echoes in the headset.  Lan Wangji listens calmly, but Wei Wuxian must have heard it in his headset too because he screeches loudly.

God, he's hopeless. 

“Lan Zhan! Did you hear that? Save me, Lan Zhan!”

“Wei Ying needs to be quiet first!” Lan Wangji raises his voice for the first time all night.

Their combined chatter makes the ghost slam a door nearby as the lights start flickering.  Wei Wuxian screams again.  Lan Wangji can't hear the others at all.  Not a good sign.

“Wei Ying, use a smudge stick and hide!” Lan Wangji shouts into the mic and then starts repeating the ghost's name to draw it out as he runs down the hallway. 

It doesn't take long before two dead hands appear on Lan Wangji's screen, indicating the ghost has killed him.  From the other room he can hear Wei Wuxian dramatically shouting.

“Lan Zhan! Your death will not be in vain!”

Combined with the lack of sleep it's enough to make Lan Wangji start laughing deliriously.

After the rest of them regroup to call it to call it a night Wei Wuxian barges into Lan Wangji's room, positively beaming at him.

“I can't believe you sacrificed yourself for me.”

“You are not very good at this game.  Someone had to help.”

Wei Wuxian's laughter rings out bright and warm as he falls onto Lan Wangji's lap and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“My hero,” Wei Wuxian says.

Lan Wangji's heart pumps out another morse code message. 

He has no idea what to do with his hands.  Should he wrap an arm around Wei Wuxian's waist?

They've been friends since childhood.  They hug all the time, Wei Wuxian loves to hug.  They've shared beds together.

Hell, this isn't even the first time he's had Wei Wuxian draped over him like this.  He decides to grip the armrests on the chair instead.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asks, uncharacteristically low and soft. It's almost a whisper, but not quite.

“Mn?”

“Can I sleep in here tonight?”

“Are you frightened?” Lan Wangji teases. 

“What if I am?” Wei Wuxian asks.

Lan Wangji looks up at him.  He's seen Wei Wuxian scared out of his wits plenty of times.  That's not the expression he's wearing now.  But Lan Wangji doesn't question it.  Wouldn't dare question him.

“Then I will protect you, Wei Ying. I will always protect you.”