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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

From Friends To This

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: Tom gives you an intimate compliment that makes you question just how platonic your friendship is

Masterlist

Unable to sleep and growing bored with the episode of Grey’s Anatomy he was watching, Tom reached up and knocked the secret rhythm to on his wall. He tilted his chin up towards the wall, waiting for your response. Finally, you finished the knock, letting Tom know you were still awake. Ever since you moved in, you and Tom communicated at through knocking on the wall since your rooms were next to each other. It was reserved for late night messages, usually when one of you wanted a snack but didn’t want to go to the kitchen alone. Tonight, it was a matter of curiously.

“did I wake you?” Tom pulled out his phone to text you, not wanting to keep you up if you had been asleep.

“you know I’m always awake. what’s on your mind?” You texted back in a few short seconds, making Tom smile.

“I’m a few seasons into Grey’s Anatomy and I need to know who I can’t get attached to in case they die.”

“when I tell you you cannot get attached to ANYONE I mean it.” You answered. Toms thumbed danced over the keyboard, unsure of what to say next. He didn’t exactly have anything to talk about, he just wanted to talk to you. His eyes drifted back to his screen and he paid a little more attention, watching as Owen stood behind Christina and smiled for a minute before saying, “You should wear your hair up more. It shows off the back of your neck. I like the back of your neck.”

“Gross.” Tom mumbled as he shifted his eyes back to his phone. That was how he chose to flirt with the girl he liked? Tom continued texting you when what was intended to be background noise caught his eye. He thought Christina would find that comment as weird as he did, but she didn’t. She did the opposite.

She liked it.

Tom stared at his screen with furrowed eyebrows as Christina timidly brushed the back of her neck with her fingertips with a smile, making Tom wonder if that line actually worked on girls. His eyes shifted back to his phone, thumbs dancing over the keyboard as he thought of what to type. Finally, he decided to let Owen do the talking for him.

“you should wear your hair up more” He wrote, heart pounding in his ears as he waited for the bubble to come up.

“why 😳” Your text appeared on his screen and he blew out a nervous breath. No going back now if he was already halfway there.

“it shows off the back of your neck”

“yes and?” You wrote.

Tom twiddled his thumbs anxiously as he typed out the next part.

“I like the back of your neck.”

A bubble appeared almost immediately, then disappeared. Tom almost threw his phone across the room from anxiety as he waited for your response. The clock went up a minute before your answer came.

“aw, really?” came first.

Then, “what about the skin between my fingers?”

Followed by, “or my weenis?”

And then, “do you like the back of my knees too?”

Tom laughed to himself, his chest rising and falling repeatedly at your words.

“fine. I’ll just never compliment you again 😔” Tom texted you back. His plan didn’t end up with you admitted your long held love for him, but it didn’t completely backfire either. He was at a happy medium, and he was okay with that.

“ok, dork.” You sent. “what are you, a vampire? trying to get me to show off my neck I see 👀”

“you caught me. that’s why I’m so pale and moody. I’m tryna bite that neck”. Tom wrote you back. At least you weren’t making him feel bad for what he said, even if it fell a little flat.

“smh. you ain’t slick holland” You texted, making Tom chuckle again. You hadn’t reacted the way Christina had, but you also hadn’t reacted the way Tom had.

In Toms mind, that was a good thing.

Little did he know, that text would forever change the nature of your relation.

Monday

The conversation completely departed from Tom’s mind by the next morning as he put his dishes away in the sink and loaded them in the dishwasher. He rinsed his plate right as you walked by, your perfume wafting his way as you passed.

“Good morning.” You said over your shoulder as you opened the cabinet next to the sink. You began to move the various mugs out of your way until you found the one you were looking for, shaking your head a little back and forth to let your hair move. Tom snuck a glance at you and cocked a smile when he saw what you had done.

You had worn your hair in a ponytail.

“Great morning, actually.” Tom remarked, tilting his head to look at you as he shut the faucet off. “Nice hair.”

You gave him a poised look before ostentatiously shaking your head, letting your ponytail swish.

“Thanks.” You shrugged casually as you poured some hot water in your mug, a coy smile perched on your face.

“You’re welcome.” Tom told you as he leaned on the counter and picked up his own blue mug.

“No, Tom.” You said, looking in the mirror on the wall and adjusting your ponytail before looking at Tom and shooting him a wink. “You’re welcome.”

And then you walked away, your ponytail hitting him when you did.

Tom stared at you as you walked away with a dropped jaw, folding his arms as he thought about what he just witnessed.

“Ponytail.” He mumbled to himself. “She wore a ponytail.”

Later that day, Tom sat at the kitchen table, drumming his fingers against his cheek as he edited his and Harry’s script when he felt your hair hitting his face. He looked up from his computer as you sat down beside him, a coy smile on your face.

“Oh, Sorry. Did I hit you with my ponytail?” You asked before hitting him with it again. “Sorry.”

And again.

“Sorry. So sorry.” You stifled a laugh as you opened your own laptop and began to type.

“So this is what I get for trying to be nice.” Tom said unenthusiastically. He couldn’t help his eyes from drifting to your ponytail as you typed, smiling a little at the way it bounced.

“No.” You told him. “This is what you get for telling me you like the back of my neck.”

“Is it that weird of a thing to say?” He asked, a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance ringing in his voice. You looked at him Tm out of the corner of your yes, smirking a little at he got riled up.

“Who said it was weird?” You shrugged as you flicked your hair in his face again. “Sorry.”

“I’m trying to work and you’re being incredibly distracting.” Tom grumbled as he tried to focus on his work. However, it was proving to be incredibly difficult since you decided to sit oh so close to him.

“Am I?” You played dumb and twirled your hair around your finger. “What’s distracting you?”

Tom stared at you for a moment, caught up in the way your hair twirled around your finger. He felt an ache in his chest as he fought the urge to replace your hands with his and run your fingers through your hair. He locked eyes with you and shook his head, laughing a little to himself as you teased him.

“You know.” He insisted, eyes going back to your hair.

“Could it be…”, you sassily flipped your ponytail and held you hand over your heart, “the back of my neck?”

You let out an ostentatious gasp as if you just revealed the killer in a murder mystery before letting out a laugh.

“Can you just forget I said that?” Tom whined as you snickered at your own joke. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“You told me you liked the back of my neck, Tommy.” You reminded him. “How can that not mean anything?”

“It just doesn’t. It’s just something I said. No harm done.” Tom insisted, hoping you’d let him dismiss it.

“If there’s no harm done in what you said, then there’s no harm in my ponytail.” You shrugged, letting your ponytail sway as you moved. Tom looked at you for a long time and you stared right back, raising your eyebrows to challenge him.

“It was just a compliment.” Tom told you.

“And it’s just a ponytail.” You shot back. Tom squinted his eyes at you but you didn’t budge. Neither of you were gonna break, which meant Tom was getting zero work done, not that he minded.

“Tell me why you wore one.” He said, shitting his laptop to give you his full attention.

“Tell me why you like the back of my neck.” You answered, turned in your chair to face him. You puffed your chest out a little, trying to look tough as you set your focus on him.

“It was just a compliment.” He repeated, narrowing his eyes at you. You cracked a smile before leaning closer, close enough that your breath fanned his face.

“And it’s just a ponytail.” You said breathily. “Bye now.”

You waved flirtatiously at Tom as you sprung out of your seat, letting your ponytail flick him one last time before you left the room. He turned in his seat to watch you as he left, heart still skipping beats from how close you’d been.

“That damn ponytail.” Tom grumbled.

Tuesday

Tom thought the great back of the neck debate would end after one day, but when he watched you waltz into the kitchen the next morning with your hair pulled into a bun, he knew he was dead wrong. You weren’t the one to drop things, and he wasn’t the one to make the first move. As you took your place next to him at the kitchen counter, he knew this debate wasn’t going to end anytime soon.

“I like your hair today.” Tom said slowly as he stirred sugar into his tea. He handed you the sugar, knowing you liked your tea just as sweet as him, and you wordlessly accepted it.

“Thanks. It’s just so hot out, I wanted my hair off my face.” You said causally before looking at him out of the corner of your eye. “And neck.”

“It’s raining.” Tom smirked as he took a sip from his blue mug.

“Is it?” You asked, turning all the way around to look out the window and giving Tom a long look at the back of your neck. You turned back around, rubbing your hand on your shoulder to draw even more attention to that God forsaken part of your body. Tom knew exactly what you were doing, and evidently, so did you.

You looked back at him and shrugged before stirring sugar into your tea. “I guess it is.”

You took a step closer to Tom, taking a long sip of your tea as you held eye contact with Tom.

“I really like the bun, love.” Tom spoke softly in his morning voice. “Looks great.”

“You like it?” You raised your eyebrows seductively. “Tell me Tom, why do you like it?”

“I think we’ve been over this, darling.” He dished it right back, not letting you get the upper hand.

“I’m afraid I don’t remember.” You tilted your head. “Do you think you can back track for a second and remind me?”

Your chests were practically touching now, morning tea long forgotten.

“I like it when you wear your hair up.” Tom said without ever breaking eye contact. You stared back at him firmly until just for a moment, you quivered. You looked away quickly and insecurely touched your hair, letting your fingers slid to rest on the back of your neck.

“I have to go.” You picked up your mug and gave him a tight smile. “See you later.”

Tom furrowed his eyebrows once you left, feeling even more confused than the day before. If he didn’t know any better, you had gotten flustered from your little encounter. In the years Tom had known you and the months you’ve lived together, he was usually the one left with flushed cheeks and a racing heart after a shared moment went from platonic to flirtatious too quickly. He’d never seen something he did have such an effect on you. The memory of your flushed cheeks and wide eyes gave Tom the confidence to navigate the new territory you had entered. Something about his text from that night sparked something between the two of you, a battle that Tom was determined to win.

Wednesday

You had gone out to breakfast with old friends, so Tom hadn’t seen you all morning. It wasn’t until 2 pm that he found you at the kitchen table, leaning on your hand as your eyes lazily scanned your computer. He smirked and laughed to himself upon seeing that you had done it once again.

“Pigtails.” Tom said, alerting you to his presence. You didn’t look up from your computer but a cheeky smile tugged at your lips.

“Sorry, what was that?” You pretended not to hear him as you twirled a strand of hair from your pigtail around your fingers.

“I haven’t seen you in pigtails since Harrison tugged on them so hard you cried in Year 3.” Tom noted as he leaned on the table across from you.

“Well, this is my first step in getting over that tragic day.” You said as you looked at him through your eyelashes, letting it linger before looking back at your computer. Tom gripped the table in frustration, shaking the table a little but you still didn’t look up. Something about the combination of your hairstyle and you refusing to look at Tom was driving him up a wall. He walked around the table, stopping when he was stood behind your chair. He rested his hands on your shoulders, making your body freeze as whatever was on your computer screen completely left your mind.

“I see.” Tom said lowly as his rough hands began to knead your shoulders, paying extra attention to your neck. He cracked a smile when he heard you suck in a breath, swimming in glory at the effect he had on you. Always wanted to push his luck, Tom let his thumb slowly drag down the back of your, neck, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

“Beautiful.” He murmured, and a chill went down your spine.

“Hey Y/n. Ding dong!” Harrison came out of seemingly nowhere and grabbed onto your pigtail, yanking it twice like it was a bell. Tom jumped back and put his hands in his back pockets, feeling his heart about to beat out of his chest. You swatted Harrison’s hands away and stood up, shooting a glance at Tom before turning back to Harrison.

“Very funny. You know who rings bells like that? The hunchback of notre dame.” You shoved Harrison playfully before sneaking another glance at Tom. The tension that had built between you could be cut with a knife, and today that knife was named Harrison.

“Stop flirting with me, Y/n.” Harrison joked as he gave your hair one last tug. You made a face at him before he let the room, his laugh echoing. Your eyes slowly made their way back to Tom, a now awkward silence filling the room.

“I’m gonna…” You pointed to your hair and began to take out your pigtails, needing an excuse not to look at Tom.

“Yeah, good idea.” Tom walked to you and immediately got to work to take down the other pigtail. He was gentle, careful not to tug at your baby hairs as he took the hair tie out. You winced a little as a hair got caught but didn’t make a sound.

“Sorry.” Tom said quietly as held your hair tie out to you. You looked at him as your hand closed around it, blinking a few times as you collected yourself.

“It’s okay.” Your tone was even softer as the tension from before reclaimed its place between you.

“Why do you keep wearing your hair up?” He asked, fingering a strand of your hair as he kept his eyes down.

“Why did you tell me you like the back of my neck?” You asked back.

“I don’t know.” Tom answered, leaning in a little closer.

“Then I don’t know either.” You looked him right in the eyes before turning sharply and leaving, your hair hitting him as you went.

Thursday

“Beautiful day, isn’t it? Gosh, it’s a wonderful day. Why are you all sitting inside? We should go out and enjoy the fresh morning air. Come on guys, let’s get this joint jumping.” You entered the room where the rest of the boys were with a suspiciously chipper attitude. The boys exchanged looks as you stood in the center with a huge smile.

“Did you put crack in your tea instead of sugar this morning?” Harry asked you.

“Again?” Tuwaine added.

It was then that Tom glanced up from his phone only to see you staring right at him with yet another updo.

“Good morning Tom.” You nodded at him.

“Good morning to you too, Princess Leia.” Tom smiled at your hair today, two buns below each ear.

“Just trying something new.” You shrugged and sat down next to Harrison. Tom furrowed his eyebrows, well aware of the empty spot on the sofa next to him where you usually sat. He knew this was all apart of the little dance the two of you had been doing, but it bothered him nonetheless. His eyes burned holes in your like a lit cigarette on paper from across the room as you rubbed the back of your neck.

“Hey, Haz.” You said, purposefully loud enough for Tom to hear. He tried to go back to what he was looking at on his phone, but found it impossible to concentrate when you were practically on top of Harrison.

“Hey.” He greeted, having no clue what he was now apart of. “I like the buns. You look like you’re gonna churn some butter.”

You looked at Tom smugly when his best friend complimented you before returning your attention to Harrison. You began to twirl the ends of Harrison’s grown out curls between your fingers, making Toms chest tighten.

“That’s so funny, Haz.” You laughed loudly, too loud to be real. “You’re just so-“

“Y/n, can we talk in the other room for a second?” Tom snapped, practically springing out of his seat.

“Okay.” You looked at him strangely and got out of your seat. As soon as you were standing, Tom grabbed your hand and pulled you into the hallway.

“Your hair is up.” He pointed a finger at you as he whispered sharply.

“I’m well aware.” You scoffed and folded your arms.

“Why do you keep wearing it up?” He asked, losing his mind now. His blood was on fire now after nearly a week of cat and mouse.

“Why do you care?” You answered his question with a question, only making him more frustrated. Tom opened his mouth to speak but found himself with nothing to say. He ran his fingers through his hair, giving it a stressful tug as he fell speechless.

“That’s what I thought.” You laughed, almost sadly. “When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be ready to listen.”

“Y/n.” Tom began but you were already walking away.

“I gotta go.” You mumbled, barely audible as you turned the corner.

Friday

Braids.

You had two Dutch braids, parted down the middle to give Tom a perfect view of the back of your neck.

You didn’t know this, but Tom loved braids.

Like, really loved braids.

He stared at you for a moment, not sure what your reaction would be to him today. After the weird talk you had yesterday, he thought for sure you’d stop with the hairstyles. You had your back to him and of you knew he had entered the room, you didn’t show it. Tom passed you to get a mug from the cabinet. When you didn’t speak, he didn’t either. He slowly poured hot water into the mug and unwrapped a tea bag, wincing at how loud it sounded with all the awkward silence in the room.

“Good morning.” Your voice cut the silence like a pair of scissors, making Tom turn and look at you.

“Good morning.” He said softly, surprised you were the first one to speak. He timidly held his cup of tea, clutching like a child holding a blanket as he looked at you. You weren’t looking up, but it wasn’t like the day before. You weren’t teasing him this time.

You were upset with him.

The searing tension that had been following the two of you all week had been replaced with an ice that chilled the room.

“It’s gonna rain later.” Your voice was delicate and low as you kept your eyes on the newspaper. Tom knew you. You never read the newspaper.

You just didn’t want to look at him.

“Yeah. I heard.” Tom nodded slowly, aching to reach out and apologize to you. He wanted to tell you he was sorry, he just didn’t know what he was sorry for.

“We should probably put a cover over the chicken coop.” You said as you turned the page, eyes never coming his way.

“Yeah. That’s a good idea.”

The silence crept back in and Tom felt a twinge or pain in his heart. He needed you to look at him so he knew you were okay.

“I like your hair today.” Tom spoke again, his voice weak from not trusting it enough to speak at full volume.

“Thanks.” You said sharply, getting out of your seat and taking the newspaper with you.

“Y/n-“ Tom began, taking a step towards you.

“I’m gonna go feed the chickens.” You stated, leaving out the backdoor and not looking back.

A few hours later, you appeared in Toms doorway wearing one of his hoodies. It was too big on you, covering your body past the little black shorts you had on. You were holding a jar of pickles in your hands and had a sheepish look on your face.

“I can’t open this.” You said weakly as you held up the jar. Tom looked up at you from his desk with a small smile. He knew this was your way of apologizing and he doubted you knew what you were sorry for either.

“Come here.” Tom held his arm out and you walked towards him. He took the jar from you and opened it with ease while holding eye contact with you. After you refused to look at him that morning, he needed this.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly at him as you took the jar and set it on his desk.

“You’re welcome, darling.” Tom nodded, setting the lid down beside the jar. Your face contorted into a pained expression and you looked down, tugging at the strings of his hoodie to distract yourself.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. And this morning.” You spoke. “I don’t even know why I’m mad at you. I had no right to be.”

“That’s okay.” Tom told you. “I’m just glad you’re talking to me now.”

“I’m gonna go eat these now.” You took the jar of pickles and the lid and gave him an awkward smile.

“You don’t have to leave.” Tom said quickly when you were halfway out the door. You turned around and his face flushed, feeling embarrassed for sounding so desperate. “I just, um, I mean you could stay if you like.”

“Okay.” You nodded and took a seat on his bed, setting the jar down on his nightstand.

Tom spun around in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees to face you.

“You’re wearing my hoodie.” He noted, hoping that was a good sign that you were not longer mad at him.

“I was cold.” You shrugged and tugged at one of your braids. You began to play with the hair that came out of your hair tie as you looked around Tom’s room. You were avoiding eye contact once again and Tom was growing frustrated. If he had never given you that compliment, none of this would be happening. He worried he had permanently changed the nature of your relationship all because of some stupid statement.

“You’re being weird.” Tom said, speaking before thinking it through. You were both avoiding the conversation but he didn’t want to do it anymore. If he didn’t fix it now, he feared he never could.

“No I’m not.” You scoffed and took out your hair tie, undoing and redoing the bottom of your braid.

“Yes, you are.” Tom insisted, getting out of his chair to gain leverage.

“No, I’m not.” You stood up as well and looked at him sternly.

“Yes you are!” Tom snapped. “You keep touching your hair. You only do that when something’s on your mind.”

“Nope. No thoughts. Head empty.” You tapped the side of your head and laughed nervously.

“Fine. Then I’ll drop it.” Tom held up his hands in defense.

“Good.” You sighed in relief, taking your hand away from your braid and tucking them into the pocket of the hoodie. Tom looked you up and down, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he stared at your braids.

“You wore your hair up every day this week.” He blurted, making you let out a groan.

“Tom.” You whined. “You said you were dropping it.”

“I will drop it.” He promised. “Just as soon as you tell me why.”

“I don’t know why.” You raised your voice, frustrated with both him and yourself.

“I’m sure you can think of something.” Tom snapped back, not being able to take his eyes off those damn braids.

“Does it really matter?” You whined, rubbing the back of your neck as you looked out his window.

“Yes! It does matter. To me, it matters.”

“Why?” You were both yelling now, not even aware of what was making you angry.

“It just does.” Tom sighed, calming down a little. “It just does.”

“Well I don’t have an answer for you.” You shrugged helplessly. “I can’t help you.”

“Does you wearing your hair up have anything to do with me telling you I like the back of your neck?” Tom asked slowly, taking a sudden interest in the floor as he asked the question that had been weighing on his mind all week.

“Oh my God.” You covered your face with your hands and dragged them down.

“What?”

“Stop saying that!” You pointed an angry finger at him. “Stop telling me you like the back of my neck!”

“Why? It’s a great neck.” Tom defended himself and his compliment, unintentionally making the situation worse. Your eyes widened as you balled your hands into fists and looked at the ceiling.

“UGH.” You gripping the sides of your head and spun in a frustrated circle.

“What is your problem?” Tom asked in exasperation as he watched your freak out.

“You! You’re my problem.” You yelled. “I can’t get you or your stupid compliment out of my head.”

“So that’s what this is about? You’re being weird because I complimented you?” Tom asked, a little hurt but even more confused.

“It’s not that you complimented me, Tom.” You shook your head in defeat. “It’s that you gave me that compliment.”

“I don’t get it. I don’t get what the big deal is.” Tom sighed in frustration. He was at the end of his rope trying to figure out what he did wrong.

“There is no deal. Just drop it, okay? Can we please drop it?” You took his hands in yours as you begged him. Tom could see the desperation in his eyes and as much as he wanted to get to the bottom of why his comment set you off, he cared about your feelings more than his own.

“Fine.” Tom agreed, not wanting to push you if you didn’t want to be pushed. You gave him a appreciative smile, still holding his hands in yours. After squeezing his hands to show you were grateful to him for dropping the subject, you went to leave the room. In the few short paces to the door, you heard Tom sigh. You stopped in his doorway, resting your hand on the doorframe. Tom looked at you longingly as you stood there, eyes landing on the back of your neck. It occurred to you what he was doing, making a compromise for your sake. He wasn’t satiated with your answer but was willing to accept it to make you happy, and somehow, that made everything worse.

“I didn’t know how to react.” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could consider the repercussions of this particular conversation. The very conversation you and Tom had carefully choreography your relationship to dance around.

The conversation where you admitted that you both wanted to be more than what you were.

“What?” Tom asked, not understanding your statement. You craned your neck slightly, looking at him over your shoulder as you sighed.

“I didn’t know how to react to your compliment.” You repeated. “That’s why I’ve been weird. And that’s why I’ve been wearing my hair up. I didn’t know how to react.”

Your eyes locked with Tom as you stood on opposite sides of the room, feeling every inch of the distance between you.

“Oh.” Tom spoke softly, eyes dropping to the floor.

“You can’t just tell me you like the back of my neck. You can’t.” You shook your head and shut your eyes, unable to look at him in your vulnerable state.

“Why?” Tom asked desperately, wishing you could just be honest with him, even if he wasn’t being entirely honest with you.

“I’m sorry.” You sighed and turned away again. “I can’t do this.”

“What’s wrong?” Tom pleaded. “We have not been able to act normal around each other ever since I sent you that stupid text. Why did it mess everything up? I can’t compliment my friend?”

“Not compliments like that.” You protested breathlessly. “You can tell me you like my ponytail but you can’t tell me you like the back of my neck.”

“Why? What am I missing?” Tom asked in a forlorn attempt to get some understanding. “Is there some compliment rule book I’m not following?”

“No. It’s just...” You shrugged and you trailed off. “Friends can like my hairstyle, okay? They can tell me my hair looks nice or cute or whatever and that’s fine.”

“Okay.” Tom tried to follow.

“Liking the back of my neck, Tom…”, your sentence tampered off as you nervously combed your fingers through the end of your braid.

“What?” Tom asked. “Please tell me.”

“That’s a boyfriend thing.” You finally admitted, and the air thickened in the room. “That’s something a boyfriend would notice. A really, really good one, at that.”

Just about every emotion hit Tom at once, making him stumble backwards a little as he processed your words. You had just cut the wire you had both been avoiding, and now the bomb had gone off. You would never be just friends again. Even if the conversation ended amicably, your relationship would never go back to what it was.

“Oh.” Tom said, squeezing his eyes shut as he regretted his pathetic answer.

“Look, Tommy.” You sighed and stepped further into his room. “I’ve always put my relationships in boxes. I have friends in one, crushes in the other. That’s how it’s always been. But you,” you shrugged helplessly and folded your arms, “you blur the line. You fall in both boxes. And when you tell me things like liking the back of my neck”, you looked at him in anguish, “you blur the line even more. You blur it so much that I can’t even tell where you fall. I don’t see any boxes. All I see is you.”

The corner of Tom’s mouth twitched, curving into a smile at you admission. He took a step closer to you, taking one of your braids between his fingers and toying with it.

“Have I ever told you I like the bridge of your nose?” Tom began. “I like the way it sits on your face. It’s like the bouquet of flowers in the middle of the table.”

“Tom.” You tried you stop him before he made irreparable damage to your friendship.

“Your collarbones look more prominent when you wear silver necklaces, but softer when you wear gold ones. You only wear gold ones if you’re wearing red or green, though.” He continued. “You love putting highlighter on your collarbones when your outfit leaves them exposed, but your absolute favorite thing to do is put blush on your nose. You never skip that. Even on days when you’re tired.”

“You don’t have to do this.” You shook your head, wordlessly begging with him to stop.

“Your pony tail is always lopsided because you lean on your hand when you write or type, and I think that’s wildly endearing. It also gives me a better view of the back of your neck, but we don’t have to talk about that.” He cracked a smile, and you did too. “You can’t tell jokes because you get too excited and give the punchline away. It annoys Harry but I think it’s adorable. Your socks never match and you can’t sleep unless your closet doors are closed. It makes you too nervous.”

“Please-“

“You pretend to scratch your nose when you’re uncomfortable in a conversation and need a break from making eye contact. You don’t do it with me but you do it with Harry sometimes when you can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic.” Tom recalled. “You always do it when you’re talking to our neighbor to the left because he makes you feel uneasy. Do you need me to go on?”

“No.” You said quickly. “What point are you trying to make here?”

“I’m trying to say that if these are boyfriend things, I’m okay with that. That’s just how I love you.” He said passionately. “I notice things. I notice everything that makes you up. So I’m sorry if that confuses things for you, but I’m also not sorry. You’re too good not to notice.”

Your eyebrows went up as your jaw slacked like your face was being pulled by a string. Your hand went to your necklace, a delicate gold chain with your initial hanging from it. It was a gift from Tom two Christmas’s ago, and you wore it every time you wore red or green. You didn’t have to say it, but both of you knew you were wearing green underneath Toms hoodie. Your mind was an ocean of words but none of them were making their way to your mouth. You stood there in silence and your hand moved to the back of your neck, finding a home there.

“Y/n, I’m sorry.” Tom sighed when he gaged your reaction. “I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You always use the blue mug in the morning.” You said after a beat of silence. “You use it in the morning but never at any other time of the day. I don’t know why you do it but you do. I always thought you never let anyone else use the blue mug until you made me tea in it after my breakup with Brad. I swear, the tears stopped falling right then and I think you noticed that because you always give me that mug when I’m sad.” You laughed softly. “Your hair stylist combs your hair to the left but you like it all pushed back. You always leave two buttons unbuttoned on your shirts and you leave your closet doors open when you sleep. It drives me crazy but you do.”

Toms lips melted into a firm line as tears filled his eyes. He always felt like a book that only he could understand, but you had just interpreted the pages. He was rendered speechless as you revealed all the things you noticed about Tom but never spoke about.

“I notice too.” You said softly. “Maybe not the back of your neck, but I notice.”

Tom smiled brightly at you, feeling his heart swell just from the sight of you. He looked down bashfully and stepped closer to you, your chests touching once again.

“I, uh, I started leaving my closet doors open as a kid so Sully from Monsters Inc would have an easier time getting in my room.” Tom admitted. “I used to wait up to meet him and I never broke that habit.”

“Oh my God.” You chuckled and wiped a tear you hadn’t even realized had fallen. “You’re an adult.”

Tom laughed along with you, a comfortable silence replacing the sadness of the room with your highest hopes.

“You’re my best friend.” Tom said suddenly as his laughter died down.

“And you’re mine.” You told him.

“I don’t want you like a best friend.” He shook his head rapidly as he put his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss. You put your hands on either side of his face and pulled him impossibly closer, taking the chance to grip the curls on the back of his neck. Tom smiles against your lips and grabbed both your braid in one hand, tugging them firmly to deepen the kiss.

“These damn braids.” Tom groaned, making you laugh into the kiss.

“You should’ve told me you liked the back of my neck sooner.” You said between kisses.

“I hadn’t seen that episode of Grey’s Anatomy yet.” Tom spoke breathlessly as he pulled you in for another heated kiss. You tangled your fingers in his hair before pulling away suddenly when you processed what he said.

“Wait, what?”

Tag List 🏷

@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort @foreverxholland @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @averyfosterthoughts @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @celestial-skylines @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @the-crazy-fanfictionist @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @jillanaholland @unbelievableholland @rebekkah4766 @flixndchill @sovereignparker @wendaiii @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @where-art-thau-romeo @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @parkerboop @smilexcaptainx @hes-amarillo @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @purefluff @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @lou-la-lou @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @anapocalypseinmymind @quacksonfics @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258 @maybemona @young-romanoff @alexxcorona113 @spidey-reids-2003 @itstaskeen @lethal-wisdom

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland blurb #tom holland slow burn #tom holland x best friend!reader #marvel #tom holland x yn #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you

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organic-guacamole · 2 years

Text

this is a dumb excuse but last night I was showing my sister how to type with a Korean 10 key keyboard and then hit my phone stuck on it and that's why I'm late...

HSMTMTS SEASON 3 EPISODE 8 REACTION

yay jet doing the recap

before this disaster begins I just gotta say I love the background music at the start. the stringy rendition of shallow lake is so nice.

ON 3 OR AFTER 3!!!!! if this finale has any more callbacks I will not stop screaming

imagine if ricky did get a heart attack though...🤔

not saying he should but like, it would be original (unlike a certain recycled love triangle plot)

my best friend is old enough to vote now too and it's actually insane

but this isn't about me, BIG RED YESSSSS

how'd he come though, Ricky stole his car 🤨🤨🤨

JET

idk what's happening now, it would be cool if they fleshed out Jet and Ricky some more but they didn't so now it's awkward the way Jet is asking Red.

AND ASHLYN IS STILL JUST STANDING THERE? HUH? MOVE GIRL

EJ I love you.

"where's Gina" *punches pillow, mattress, wall, door-*

no wonder EJ his busting his ass to make sure the show is perfect. Ricky is the male lead and doesn't know the name of the kingdom in frozen? chile please

miss Jenn? do people not have other things to do in this show (me being petty about every little thing because I'm pissed about the storylines of this season)

why are all these elders jumping in the kid's solo smh smh

GO ASHLYN WEEEE

Channing showed up with like 20x more gay and he's so cute

why would they livestream this wth

shut up Richard, I'm so tired of his snarky comments this whole time

DUDE THE WAY THEY ALL TURNED ON EJ IMMEDIATELY I CANNOT STAND THIS SHOW

and then don't apologize for assuming he'd throw them all under the bus after the 2 weeks of him working so hard to make sure they excel I'm so angry I'm gonna cry

Nini? I'm not even surprised atp

she's not coming back.

"these things don't go away in a night" THANK YOU KOURTNEY

why is the crowd laughing so hard I do not understand (nitpicking)

thanks Channing 🧍🏽‍♀️

I know redlyn won't break up but it's scaring me.

not the sign saying no spitting in the middle of the emotional scene between Alex and Kourtney

SUPERNOVA GSHEGSHSHSAJBA I LOVE THEM

no Channing not now

why does Nini have to stand there, isn't it more conspicuous than sitting in the audience?

yes Gina beat that man to the ground

I LOVE KOURTNEY SO MUCH

I'm so happy rn.

bORN TI BE BRAVEEWE I KNOW WHO I AM INSIDE AND I WONT APOLOGIZE WOOOOOO

"we missed you so much this summer" literally no one thought about her (petty guac is back)

Channing is such a fun character, his dialogue is almost always hilarious

and now EJ has to witness THIS. seriously just twist the knife in his heart atp

I love Val why isn't she in season 4😔 (Actually no cuz then they'd ruin her character)

*marches down the path with lanterns and pitchforks* KILL CASH CASWELL KILL CASH CASWELL

EJ deserves so much more than they give him and I'm so upset that not only did he lose the girl he really liked, but also can't even get his dad to say something as simple as "you're not a disappointment"

seriously. born to be brave is just making me nostalgic for s1 and I can't handle that rn

Not Ms Jenn actually being in hsm, didn't Mr Mazzara prove that she wasn't? anyways um

just like that? Corbin switches sides? redemption?

why is miss Jenn pulling every 40 something man in this show

is it just me or does Ashlyn have the bi colours in her hair

EJ SIGNED AS ELTON IM SCREAMING

I hate the last day of camps like this, I've been to 2 and I cried so hard whole waiting for my ride, like those people you just spent days and nights with you might never see again but the bond is just so ✨

BRO LOOK AT THIS? WHEN THEY FOUND OUT NINI WAS THERE DID YALL SEE RICKYS FACE? HES NOT OVER HER (not in the sense of wanting to be with her still, but just not over that relationship and probably craving that feeling again. hence lily and now Gina? why why why should they be the rebounds for him and why is the narrative making it seem like a good thing.)

like this guy that has had his eyes on Gina and only Gina for months is not right for her! fine! but does that automatically make Ricky, the guy who is like the opposite of boyfriend material bc of where he is in life rn any better? no???

NOT THE TIME SKIP

I also just realized this is the longest hsmtmts episode to date, that's cool, literally what we've been begging for since s2 but sure.

no stop. that documentary is not complete within 1 month, no way. especially not after what they said about in a month the trailer will come out.

BRO CARLOS' DRESS??????

and can we talk about the meta-ness of this? what show am I even watching rn? hsmtmtsftmtd?

OMG EVERYONE IS SO HOT

"ok Ricky Bowen and you're watching Disney plus" *does the wand movement* ain't no way son

oh no it's gonna have the Ricky confession scene isn't it

oh jeez not the reality show edits

OMG WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO CARLOS IM CRYING

love how jet's own can't even be excused by some editing

this show has gone off the rails but the documentary trailer is killing me

the awkward shots of Ricky grinning at the camera while Gina says that she wants one thing I'm dying I'm deceased yes.

BIG RED IS BI WE KNEW THIS BUT ITS CANON NOW WOOHOOO (why he got an interview segment? no idea)

"good for him" so true

EJ my man... *shoulder pat*

oh Rina is still gonna happen?

no jeez why is it always the girl confessing to Ricky

SHE DID NOT JUST USE PART OF HER BREAK UP WITH EJ TO CONFESS TO RICKY. IM BACK TO HATING THIS SHOW.

SHE ALREADY CONFESSED DURING THAT FLASHBACK SCENE AT THE S1 CLOSING WHAT WHAT WHAT

HES 18 TOO HOW COULD SHE USE THE FACT THAT EJ'S AN ADULT AND MOVING FORWARD AGAINST HIM WHEN RICKYS ABOUT TO DO THE SAME?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG

NO STOP ICKY EW GO AWAY

nonono, don't get me started

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s3 #hsmtmts season 3 #hsmtmts s3 finale #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #carlos rodriguez #kourtney greene #ashlyn caswell

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melloian · 3 years

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My wild au idea...

so i got a new art program. so i imagine this fake au idea.. so imma share it lmao. remember this is an imagination (and am still working on reboot au) and not some au or something. Alright let’s just get this cringe over went Remember this guy?

remember this kid?

now imagine them as an main character...yup..

Alright time to explain ig The boy and sandboy fused in body because of hawkmoth's glitch. The boy first witnessed this when he got scared of something else. He slowly turned blue. He screamed and cried loud because of course he didn't know what was happening, eventually turning into sandboy and terrorizing the city again. He then realizes everytime he gets scared he turns into sandboy. He proceeds to think the movie gave him strange powers (and not hawkmoth..well not in this fake au of course). Since he knows sandboy is evil, he came up idea to trick sandboy into doing something good. His plan was to put himself in danger on purpose (by an villain) in order to make sandboy think the villain is trying to attack him. The boy is only doing this in order for sandboy to no longer attack paris. Now to explain hawkmoth's situation, hawkmoth accidentally cracked the miraculous when he fall down (in a high tower awhile fighting the other day). He didn't know he did until he saw nooroo acting strange. But he didn't care so he proceeds to do it which led to the glitch. It affected his heart causing to become weak. However he doesn't care, he says himself that he would continue to use the butterfly miraculous, even if it costs his life at the end (he really just want his wife back so bad smh.) Gabriel gets the same symptoms as his wife which worries adrien.

Back to the boi himself.

in this imagination/fake au He just a friendly, energetic kid who like to play. He pretty much known as well-behaved kid. He sometimes curious about things.

He likes making new friends.

However he can get scared easily leading him to get nightmares. (he also easily cry too.)

He doesn't like mean people. (in this "fake" au, his age is 6) Sandboy himself

Sandboy here acts completely different here.. i mean he stills says "tHe SaNdBoY jUsT cHECkEd In. NoW nIghTmArEs CaN bEgIn" but only when using his powers. but he still different Sandboy is much more rude and more of an brat but still confident. He makes fun of people especially the villains he targets (he makes them furious on purpose). He's not scared of nothing, even if he saw lovecraftian horror or something, he wouldn't flinch. If he doesn't get his way, he will attempt fake cry so the person can feel sorry for him. (if that doesn't work he just will instantly use his power) Even though he rude and a brat, he can sometimes be helpful and nice. (he still acts like a child too.) Abilities: It would be epically lame if sandboy still have the same 1 power (rip chat noir). (and fook the sandman myth) He gains more abilities as time goes on and more fighting he does. Default power (just for reminder): He able to zap people and make their nightmares reality Gained powers list (in order): He will later be able to put people to sleep which would gave them nightmares Similar power to wishmaker expect its not childhood dreams. It just wishes in general, he able to grant them but he can either twist it for evil or grant the wish properly. He able to imprison people inside their own dream. he can now summon things out of his own dream or make it reality (can be past or present). he can bring people fears to life too (is not the same as nightmares just for clarification) Telekinesis He can go to sleep and can enter astral form. He can enter people's dream and warps it if he wants too or just watch. (he also have oneiricpotence awhile in dream) He can create an alternative dream universe and teleport people in it (he have oneiricpotence here too).

stronk kid Weakness: i made this so i wouldn't make him an absolute god machine All his powers works best at night. If use it in day, it would fail or it would work but it will go absolutely wrong. The only powers that don't suffer this is telekinesis and wish power. (sleeping power would work in afternoon and night) He can't keep using dream warper, alt dream, or dream imprisonment or else he becomes sick. (and when he's sick, his powers don't work properly{ he also gets dizzy})

He can't be astral for a long time, he will eventually snap back to his body. he still as fragile as an child.

Notes: He summons his pillow instead of being with him already.

Never of them wanted to be heroes in the first place.

Sandboy's hair only glows when its dark. Sandboy would change back to boy when all negative feelings are gone. For Nathalie in this au aswell, she pretty much don't want hawkmoth keep using his miraculous before he ends up in a coma. Eventually, Gabriel gets too sick and Nathalie takes his place. Nathalie attempts to fix both peacock and butterfly miraculous to continue his goal. She becomes Penumbra.

However, before she became penumbra, she was also effected with the glitch from Gabriel causing her to have catalyst stay in her aswell. Unlike the boy, she still have her own personality as catalyst and can use her power without transforming. idk why but its probably to make her dangerous. But Gabriel finally knew how the kid could transform to sandboy (he was wondering how he was transforming to his akumanzation form he given him) before he passed out (after he was defeated as scarlet moth.) So when gabriel got too sick, her goal was to find out more about that boy. Recurring characters

Even though chat noir and ladybug is still in the story, but they wouldn't have much focus.

Unlike in the original, ladybug or chat noir doesn't know sandboy's true identity but still thinks he a running akumanzation. however they don't attack him because he helping with the other villains. They confused if he an enemy or ally tho {why not both}. (they do thank him for defeating certain villains) They still have same personality and attitude. Other shit ig: This fake au takes place in season 2. The ep sandboy is no longer near heroes day ep, it would just be swapped with collector. Sandboy becomes less rude and bratty later on. Most fights would take place at night Sandboy had to learn hand to hand combat to be useful without using his night powers. There is no romance involved what so ever. Even though Nathalie fixes the butterfly miraculous, it wouldn't fix the glitch that happens to both her and the boy. She have to find something else in order to do that. Season 4 is were Gabriel's sickness gets worse and Nathalie takes his place. The boy would have 2 friends with him but its not manon or chris. The boy would be given a name. The boy would later find out how to change to sandboy without having to make himself scared. Remember this an fake au and this all came from my imagination/head. It just an idea. anyways see ya imma continue my own au now.

#marinette dupain cheng #nathalie sancoeur #sandboy #gabriel agreste #adrien agreste #ml au idea #mayura #miraculous ladybug au #miraculous hawkmoth #chat noir #off topic #shadow moth #scarlet lady au but im blue daba dee daba die #somebody looked at this post the last tag is inaccurate now ;-;

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disfordevineaux · 4 years

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Top3 charming points about Devineaux? ☺

Yes.

1) Chase can be brash and bumbling on the surface and yet confidently determined and quick-witted somehow simultaneously? Chase: falls onto car. Also Chase 5 mins later: Deduces instantly that Carmen would have to be heading to the train station to escape. The duality and diversity within his personality is just so intriguing and I’m so happy they didn’t just make him a 2D flat surface. He’s pretty complex for a side character and I love that. He is just smart, but does dumb brash things? Impulsive.

2) He always looks 10/10 even when he is clearly only feeling like 2/10. Always effortlessly lookn fine.

2.a) This in general.

and this for some reason I don't know I think its the lean? Could be. Not sure.

and this too. Don’t question me here aight.

Oh and this. The sass.

3) The fact he tries with all his soul to be Mr Gruff Stuble Man but went right for the hug when finding out his old partner decided to return. Like sir, your soft golden heart himbo-ness is showing.

I really did like his angry self in s1-2 because it wasn’t all anger without purpose (A lot of it drove the conflict between Chase and Julia along which was story relevant even if it hurt my soul esp with the regretful glance he gave after. He knew he was being a pain in the ass but didn’t stop himself. The look of someone who knows better smh), it was mixed with other emotions and had ‘reasoning’ based around the context of the scene. Like dude I’d be mad too if I nearly died like 3 times man I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU.

He really fought a bird and LOST. It got to have the last swoop at him. God, I love you.

He just overall has such a goofy, exuberant and energetic vibe mixed with a seriously stoic exterior, esp when we compare S1 Chase to S4 Chase. I liked how it was slowly teased he isn't a 100% angry person with no feelings but really just someone who runs at an extreme chaotic setting 24/7. Also, the way he was, with no questions asked, ready to go locate/save Julia after figuring out she was in trouble with Carmen. Directly jeopardizing his precious ACME career for someone he hadn’t seen in upwards of 6 months (who clearly gave him the cold shoulder). He kind of always tries to do the right thing and genuinely appears to care a great deal about others who he’s gotten to know. He got better at that as well as expressing himself honestly and openly by season 4 I must admit. He was rude to Julia, plain and simple. But he resolved the conflict in a way that was meaningful to her. And I found that unique way of him apologising (probably one of many that we didn’t see) a great way to show that things aren’t always simple between adults and resolutions can be met in varying ways.

She clearly seemed to love that public gesture. I think people forget that Julia is a smart woman, she wouldn't stick by him for another 2+ years if he didn't repent, and remained a negative influence. He clearly became a positive influence in her opinion. Julia even looking his way for reassurance when Zari questioned her for directions. As well as overall visibly enjoying his company. Wholesome. And the fist bump thing.

But yes I find that charming, I find his personality and development into his true self in general charming. Endearing, even in his worst moments that mostly just ended up with himself hurt, physically and emotionally.

I dunno, I think the fact he was always a softy hit me right in the feelings. The slow reveal of it was just 11/10. A real ride or die homie. I love how CS didn't waste him as a throwaway ‘ew men are stinkie, stinkie stinkie stinkie’ character like 1) that's so boring ugh and 2) please its 2019aka2020aka2021 give us nice adult development within male presenting characters for others to learn and grow from please and thank you good night tri-state area.

#wow this answer went off track soorryy #i just #love his character so much #chase devineaux #carmen sandiego #julia argent #disfordevineaux ask

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yakocchi · 4 years

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Be My Princess Social // Yakov Chernenkov, Season 1, Episode 1

// The Great Prince of the Country of Ice

o wats this, self-indulgent crap?? haha the joke is that all the translations i post are self-indulgent crap, thank you for coming to the press conference

This is going to be part of a translation of the Yakov Chernenkov route for the Be My Princess Social Platforms (GREE, Joshige, Eternal Kiss, etc.)

I figured this should be… relatively all right given that it seems like Voltage is done with BMP Social games forever in terms having English versions. tbh kinda surprised no one ever took the task of doing it. publicly at least? i searched a bit, found nothing. if someone already did it pls tell me lol …..but i guess something like this is a stan’s job to do, right (ﾟ▽ﾟ*)

idk, we’ll see how this goes… only did 1 ep as a test run to see if i feel like doing this rn lol this is lengthy endeavor

Image-heavy!! Please credit if you take any of it, thenk u (･ω･*)

Intro & Legend

This route is similar to Zain’s in that they wipe just about everything from the Paid version (the one with Sergei and the Anastasia backstory…lol that was wild thinking abt it) and start anew with the character. But Yakov is different from all the other BMP1 characters in that they also changed his personality almost completely. This is reflected in his profile when they change his blood type and age from the Paid version (B → O, 25 → 31)

If you’re familiar with the Social Zain route, you can kinda see through his bits how they changed him. A BMP fansite master describes him as “high-handed, but charismatic - a person with the character of a king” which sums it up better than anything I could ever think up

So I guess it would be a good idea to not carry over expectations from the Paid app route to this route because that’s just a recipe for disappointment lol. i know a lot of people like the Yakov from the Paid route, so I wanted to put that out there. It’s a shame bc that character is effectively “gone” but… the yakov i stan is the social one, so if that had to happen so my 2d man could come into existence…well…

thank u for ur sacrifice

➤ are my own commentary.

➢ are the choices that pop up. For the most part I have both (iirc I don’t have one near the end bc I forgot I was trying to pick the wrong ones on purpose lol). Note that all my wrong answers are from the original version’s text and thus they may have been changed for EK. Correct answers are labeled with ❆

➼ at the end of a line signals that the choice text has “ended” and it returns back to the general text. The general text resumes on the line that begins with a ➼. This is mostly just for organization on my part - the docs I type+format these on get very, very annoying to scroll through, so

Bolded dialogue reflect the screencaps.

I hope you enjoy some part of it! ( ´◡` ) Thanks for reading

Episode 1 // The Great Prince of the Country of Ice

➤ Interestingly, the original title they used for GREE and Joshige is The Cold, Rational Prince of Sanct Sybil Kingdom. I dunno why they would change it except maybe it was too long for the title card to look pretty lol

When I opened the door at the sound of the chime, there stood a man wearing a gentle smile on his face. Taking note of my presence, he places his hand to his breast and gracefully bows.

[Zain]: “You must be Miss Kara Go. I am Zain, the personal steward of Nobel Michel Castle.” [Zain]: “As promised, I have come to pick you up.” [Kara]: “Y-Yes. I am indeed Kara Go.” [Kara]: “To go out of your way to come here - thank you so much.” (Am I really… not just dreaming here?) Pulling a letter out from my pocket, I recall the events over the past few days that had led up to today.

I had torn the seal of a blank-white envelope that had no written return address, and my eyes widened in shock. “I want you to become an exclusive designer.” In the enclosed message - along with a bit of contact information, the end of the letter had been signed by Nobel the XIII, the lord of Nobel Michel Castle. (This must be some sort of mistake… A-Anyhow, I should try to verify it.) Thinking that, I call the contact number on the letter…

But, indeed - the letter was not a mistake, and they spoke to me about wanting to have a proper consultation about the position. I was told that Lord Nobel wanted some time to talk in-person with me, and eventually the promised day where I felt that my dreams were coming over the horizon… finally came. (Even when it’s finally here, in front of me of like this, I still can’t believe it…) [Zain]: “Thus, His Grace awaits. Let us depart.” [Kara]: “O-Okay…” With a spring to my step, I get onto the limousine with Zain.

(It would’ve never crossed my mind that I’d be going to Nobel Michel Castle for a second time.) (And on top of that, I’ve been called here in terms of being a designer of all things…) I was pretty nervous the time I had come here for Jean Pierre’s errand, but now I’m even more nervous compared to that day. I felt my heart noisily thumping as I waited for Lord Nobel, and eventually the parlor door opened.

[Zain]: “My Lady, we must deeply apologize.” [Zain]: “His Grace’s conference is going longer than expected, so it seems you will have to wait a few moments longer.” [Kara]: “I see…” [Zain]: “Since you took your most valued time to come here― Would you like to take a look around the castle gardens until the conference is over?” [Kara]: “Castle gardens… you say?” [Zain]: “Indeed. Several varieties of the rare flowers we raise are currently in bloom– so if it pleases you, I can guide you around.” (You don’t get the chance to tour the Nobel Castle gardens everyday.) [Kara]: “Then, if you may.” [Zain]: “Very well. Shall we go now?” With Zain as my guide, I get to visit the castle gardens.

[Kara]: “Wow… it’s absolutely stunning.” [Zain]: “Thank you. Everyone who visits these gardens tend to voice similar sentiments about it.” The courtyard stretched over a vast space, and it was a feast for the eyes even with a simple glance. (In a way, it’s as if I’ve been sucked into a fairy tale.) As Zain explained the parts and features within it, I was completely enamored by the beautiful garden― When an teenage boy clad in a butler’s uniform comes running to us from the castle.

[???]: “Zain! So this is where you were.” [Zain]: “…Theo, you are before a guest.” [Zain]: “I must apologize, My Lady.” [Zain]: “This is Theo, who is training in this castle as an apprentice steward.” The boy called Theo – at being scolded by Zain, straightened his posture accordingly.

➤ i can’t believe bmp2 stans denied us from having the wacky family sitcom a theo route would have smh my head bro

[Theo]: “…I am Theo.” [Kara]: “I’m Kara. Nice to meet you, Theo.” [Theo]: “M-Mhm…” Theo, whose face still held remnants of childlike youth, averted his eyes shyly. Then Zain, who had witnessed all of this, lightly presses the boy in a gentle tone. [Zain]: “Theo, did you have any matters to discuss with me?” [Theo]: “Ah-, right! I was sent by His Grace to relay this message to you.” [Theo]: “He urgently wants your input on something, so you gotta come to the conference room.” [Zain]: “His Grace does?” [Zain]: “But, right now…” His eyebrows knit together, as if troubled. With a smile I turn to him. [Kara]: “I’ll be all right by myself. Though while I wait, may I take a look around the garden?” [Zain]: “Yes, of course.” [Zain]: “I apologize for being unable to guide you around myself for now– but if you could meet with me afterwards…” [Zain]: “Can you wait just a moment?” [Kara]: “All right.” Sounding apologetic in his words, he then goes with Theo towards the castle. (Being the exclusive butler to Lord Nobel must be quite the busy job…) I thought about that as I took a stroll around the calm gardens, sunlight beaming… When―

[Man]: “Please, at least, once more– Please consider thinking about it…!” The cries of a man at his wits’ end cut through the silence of the courtyard. (Is something going on…?) Looking in the direction of the voice, I find three men standing from the other side of the building. The shouting from earlier seems to have come from a man who looked slightly older from other two, and said man also seemed to be desperately calling for something. [Man]: “…The state of the administration right now still is unstable.” [Man]: “If we act too carelessly, the balance of the three nations could collapse once more!” [???]: “…I have long past made a decision.” The words that had answered the aggravated man were bound to a terribly icy voice. As this man stood with his back facing me, I was unable to see his face; but from pitch alone he seemed to be a young man. With his long, platinum-blond hair having been pleated into a single braid, he silently rebuffs the rage of the older one.

[???]: “Even if you did indeed manage to chase me all the way here― Decisions are not something to turn back from.” [???]: “That is all that need be said, so I shall leave first.” [Man]: “…Yakov–Sir, why are you this impatient?!” [Man]: “It can't be that you don’t realize that now is a crucial time for the country, is it…?!” In pure exasperation, the older man grabs onto the man called Yakov. But in doing so, a man in a butler’s uniform that had stood across from him swiftly yanks the man off.

[Butler]: “What are you thinking in that head of yours, grabbing onto someone of his (Yakov’s) status?” [Butler]: “Even if you get imprisoned for disrespecting the state, this is an inexcusable situation you’ve found yourself in.”

➤ so the term he uses is specifically for lèse-majesté, which is the fancy term for insulting the ruling sovereign, monarchy, ruling state, etc. etc. but i didn’t want to just throw in that term bc i felt like it’s not… very common? idk i feel like the bmp mc wouldn’t know what that is granted i guess you could do the galaxy brain take and be like “she doesn’t know what that term is and that’s why she couldn’t piece together that yakov is royalty”

[Man]: “Urgh…!” The older man was then pinned to the ground, and as his arms were confined behind his back, he groans in pain. The moment I see the expression on his face, a cry spills out from my lips.

[Kara]: “Ah…!” [Yakov]: “…!” Hearing my voice, the platinum-blond man whips his head around.

His eyes, peeking out from behind his long bangs and deep blue like the sea, then sharply leveled at me. [Yakov]: “…What is your business?” [Kara]: “Uh…”

(What should I answer with?) Menacingly asked to speak, I…

➢ I’m unable to say anything. ➢ “He’s in pain.” ❆

➢ I’m unable to say anything. (This person… has an awfully intimidating air to him.) Unable to say anything particularly impactful, I only turn my eyes to the man held to the ground. ➼

➢ “He’s in pain.” [Kara]: “I don’t know what’s going on here, but you’ve gone too far… He’s in pain.” [Yuri]: “Of course. It’s only natural for it to hurt when you’re bound down like this.” The man in the butler’s uniform answers me with a smile plastered on his face. (What the-… He’s smiling, but it’s honestly quite frightening-) [Kara]: “B-But… if you end up injuring him, that’d be terrible, no…?!” While paralyzed with fear, I managed to raise my voice at him. ➼

➼ With that, the platinum-blond man shifts his eyes to the man in the butler’s uniform. [Yakov]: “―Yuri, release him.” [Yuri]: “…” At his words, the one called Yuri immediately relinquishes his hold.

➤ Yuri’s name might actually be Urey, as one of Ivan’s Birthday Event routes note how Ivan’s wolf Urey and butler Yuri have the same name (by coincidence). But the JPN version always spells it as Yuri so I’m just used to it. Not that you should really be taking the app’s romanization as official though given they have stuff like “Lewis” (Louis), “Jean” (Jan), and the occasional “Robert” for Roberto ( ´_ゝ｀)

As the older man staggers back up from the ground, the blond man speaks to the two of them. [Yakov]: “Do not start trouble in the castle grounds of other kingdoms.” [Yakov]: “ ―Regarding what happened here today, I shall overlook it this time. Good?” [Yuri]: “Understood.” [Man]: “…My sincere apologies.” As the two men lower their heads, the man called Yakov then directs his piercing gaze towards me.

[Yakov]: “Forget what you just saw and heard here. Not a word to anyone.” With only those words to me, he leaves with the other two following behind him. (That “Yakov” person, and “Yuri” too… what terrifying people.) Alone in the garden, I was completely petrified to the spot from the overwhelming pressure those men had left me with.

[Theo]: “―Miss Kara, here is where His Grace’s been hanging o– awaiting your presence, rather.” Afterwards, Lord Nobel’s conference had ended and Theo had come to take me to him. While heading to the parlor where His Grace was waiting, Theo’s innocent self causes a smile to crack my features. [Kara]: “Just ‘Kara’ is fine, Theo. On that note, you don’t have to speak so formally with me.” [Theo]: “Uh- But…” [Kara]: “I’ll be more at ease and less nervous that way.” [Kara]: “Besides, I’m in a similar situation as you.” [Theo]: “‘Similar’?” [Kara]: “I’m only a rookie designer.” [Kara]: “So like how you’re an apprentice butler, it’s kind of a similar position.” [Theo]: “Gotcha…” At my explanation, Theo, apparently happy about some part of it, breaks into a smile. [Theo]: “…I get you. Then- When we’re together like this, I’ll be sure to do it.” [Theo]: “Since only super-distinguished people ever come to this castle, I get pretty stressed out.” [Kara]: “Hehe, I’m feeling the same too. Just entering this castle makes me anxious.”

[Theo]: “Right?! Lord Nobel and Zain treat me really well so it’s all right for now, but…” Theo wore a smile that was quite fitting for a young boy like himself. Calmed by his pure sincerity, I enter the reception room.

[Theo]: “…Your Grace, I have brought Miss Kara Go.” [Nobel]: “Thank you for your hard work.” [Nobel]: “Kara, sorry for making you have to wait on me when I was the one who called you up here.” Lord Nobel wears a merry smile on his face as he kindly welcomes me. I bow my head down in gratitude. [Kara]: “I am, indeed, Kara Go.” [Kara]: “Thank you for inviting me to such a meeting.” [Nobel]: “You don’t have to greet me so formally,” [Nobel]: “as the truth still stands that I was the one who summoned you today. I just wanted to talk with ya about something.” [Nobel]: “―So, Kara, do you know of the country of Sanct Sybil?” [Kara]: “Yes. I’m only knowledgeable with news and info that’s been reported to the public, but…”

Sanctis, Sybil, Versurk― Those three countries had united into one, and the resulting nation is apparently called “Sanct Sybil” from what I’ve heard. With this as my sole knowledge of the country, Lord Nobel speeds up the conversation.

[Nobel]: “Then I’ll cut to the chase.” [Nobel]: “The truth is that Sanct Sybil is planning to join the Nobel Michel Alliance.” [Nobel]: “As they’re still a new nation, they’re searching for talent both inside and outside the country.” [Nobel]: “In pursuit of capable individuals, the prince of Sanct Sybil has come to me for some guidance, so…” Cutting his own words short, a smile then markedly graces his features.

[Nobel]: “Kara, you are to be the exclusive designer of Sanct Sybil Castle.” [Nobel]: “I thought that I’d like to go see you work there.” [Kara]: “Uh-…” (I’m… going to be the exclusive designer… for a royal castle?!)

[Nobel]: “Besides yourself, I’ve been in talks with other talented folks in all sorts of industries.” [Nobel]: “It’s only the designer position that’s yet to be decided.” [Nobel]: “I personally wanted to recommend you, but… what do you think?” [Kara]: “Um… I’m truly grateful to be able to have this conversation with you, but…” [Kara]: “Since I’m still new to this, I don’t have any achievements to show for anything.” [Kara]: “Knowing that, why did you call on me for this…?” I can’t hide my own utter confusion from his sudden invitation. Voicing my bewildered thoughts with that question, the corners of his lips quirk up into a smile.

[Nobel]: “I learned about you through a list I asked from Jean Pierre.” Lord Nobel, upon consulting with the prince of Sanct Sybil, requested Jean Pierre to produce a list of designers with promising futures. (Jean Pierre himself put me on that list…) [Nobel]: “Certainly, you don’t have any prior accolades… but within the multitude of applicants, I saw your design sketches,” [Nobel]: “and I was considerably charmed by them.” [Nobel]: “I grew delighted just from simply looking at that design.” [Nobel]: “And for that reason I wish to bring you to Sanct Sybil, a nation newly born into this world.” [Nobel]: “I think that a person full of zeal like yourself is necessary for such a place.” [Kara]: “Your Grace…” [Nobel]: “By all means, please consider it for me.” (I’m simply unworthy to be having this sort of discussion…)

At Lord Nobel’s invitation, I…

➢ “Give me some time.” ❆ ➢ “If it is all right with the other party…”

➢ "Give me some time.” Having heard all of this from Lord Nobel so far, the feeling of wanting to give it a shot comes to me. (But…) [Kara]: “…Could you give me a bit of time to think about it?” [Nobel]: ”Of course. You should go ponder it a great deal before coming to a decision.” ➼

➢ “If it is all right with the other party…” [Kara]: “If it is all right with the other party, I feel that I would like to accept this offer.” [Kara]: “However…” There’s an uneasy feeling in my heart about it, and my words drift off. Then Lord Nobel, as if he understood my thoughts nods his head once. [Nobel]: “It’s all right if you don’t rush yourself to a decision.” ➼

➼ [Nobel]: “Can you give Zain an answer a few days from now?” [Kara]: “Understood.” Putting my answer on hold for a moment, I depart Nobel Castle.

(The chance to be the exclusive designer for a royal castle won’t ever come by me again, but…) (While Jean Pierre is having a hard time, I can’t just leave him like this.) Turning down the offer to be dropped off at my apartment, I head towards the office of Jean Pierre.

[Jean Pierre]: “Oh my, is that ma petite?” [Kara]: “Pierre!” Not expecting to meet him like this, I’m surprised to see him here. As if he had sensed something about me, he smiles.

[Jean Pierre]: “…With a face like that, looks like you got something to talk about, hmm?” [Jean Pierre]: “Instead of standing around outside to chat, please just come on in.”

Pierre unlocks the door to his office and I come inside. [Jean Pierre]: “You somehow came all the way here… Could it be that you had talked with Lord Nobel?” [Kara]: “…Yes.” [Kara]: “I received an invitation to work as the exclusive designer of Sanct Sybil Castle.” [Kara]: “But for someone like me, who has no experience nor achievements, to take up such a grand job is…” [Kara]: “I don’t really have the confidence that I can do something like that.” [Kara]: “And on top of that, I want to be further taught by you…”

[Jean Pierre]: “What are you saying?! Is this not a good thing? This is your big chance!” He looks at me with a serious expression. [Jean Pierre]: “In that list I submitted to Lord Nobel, there were also designers that had prior achievements.” [Jean Pierre]: “Despite that, I was convinced that you would be the one to be chosen.” [Kara]: “Why… is that?” [Jean Pierre]: “From your designs, I feel this power to them.” [Jean Pierre]: “There are some parts that are rough around the edges, but there’s this energy, one that can completely transform people, hidden within!” [Jean Pierre]: “Lord Nobel definitely sensed that too, I bet.” [Kara]: “Ah…” (Thinking about it, Lord Nobel did say something along those lines…) (He said that the designs- from simply looking at them, he grew delighted…)

[Jean Pierre]: “Please believe in yourself.” [Jean Pierre]: “I, as well as His Grace, would never recommend someone who we’d feel couldn’t do the job.” [Jean Pierre]: “I believe in your potential, ma petite.” [Kara]: “Pierre…” Even though he himself is in a difficult position, he’s so firmly supporting me in this. With my heart overwhelmed with such emotion that I couldn’t speak, Jean Pierre smiles. [Jean Pierre]: “I’m also going to use this moment as a source of encouragement for myself, as I plan to work hard as a designer once more.” [Jean Pierre]: “One day, no doubt in my mind― the offices of Jean Pierre will be restored!” [Jean Pierre]: “And that’s why, ma petite… without worrying about these offices, please just go and try what you want to try.” [Kara]: “…Thank you!” (I can’t let this chance from Jean Pierre and Lord Nobel just pass me by.) Urged on by Jean Pierre, a smile appears on my face as my chest is enveloped in this determination.

―That night. Resolute in accepting the offer of exclusive designer, I contact Zain as soon as I return to the apartment. [Kara]: “Concerning the aforementioned position of Sanct Sybil’s designer… I think that I will accept the invitation.” [Zain]: “Thank you very much. I think that His Grace will be quite pleased to hear that.” In a soft tone - As if thinking for a moment, Zain continues to speak. [Zain]: “If I can be honest with you, the prince of Sanct Sybil himself is actually coming to stay at the castle for official business.” [Zain]: “Normally, we would hold your interview over at Sanct Sybil, but…” [Zain]: “Since the prince will be coming over, how about you two introduce each other here at Nobel Castle instead?” (Is that so?) (Even if Lord Nobel is recommending me, it could become a situation where the prince of Sanct Sybil is not too impressed by me.) [Kara]: “I see… If you could reserve some time for that, that’d be great.” [Zain]: “Then, I shall make the proper arrangements and contact you again.” And with that, it was decided that I would meet the prince of Sanct Sybil.

A few days later―

I’ve been called to Nobel Castle once more. While having a spot of tea with Lord Nobel and Theo, I bow my head again. [Kara]: “―Thank you for granting me an opportunity like this.” [Nobel]: “Ohohoho.” [Nobel]: “At any rate.. you’ve become quite resolute about this.” [Kara]: “…Yes. Your Grace has given me words of immense appreciation, and Jean Pierre has also encouraged me.” [Kara]: “I think, as a designer, I want to take advantage of these chances given to me.” (But… with no achievements of my own, I wonder if the Prince will approve of me…) Anxiety running through my heart, Lord Nobel smiles while stroking his beard. [Nobel]: “I also have hopes for you, Miss Kara.” [Nobel]: “I believe that, surely, the prince of Sanct Sybil will indeed require your power.” [Kara]: “Thank you…!” When I beam at Lord Nobel’s kind words, Theo then cuts into the conversation.

[Theo]: “So Kara… really is a designer, huh.”

[Theo]: “But… if it were possible, I was hoping that you’d become the designer for this castle.” [Kara]: “Hehe, thank you.” [Kara]: “I think that I definitely wouldn’t be able to be the designer for Nobel Michel, but I hope one day I’ll be able to make clothes for you, Theo.” Replying to Theo with a smile, Lord Nobel watches us with a gentle look on face. [Nobel]: “Ho ho, looks like you two have become quite close.” [Nobel]: “As I thought, Kara, you seem to have this charm that just mellows out everything around you.” He laughed heartily when there came a knock on the door. [Zain]: “Please excuse the interruption,”

[Zain]: “For I have brought Prince Yakov of Sanct Sybil.”

➤ “op are u just making excuses to post caps of zain as much as possible” perhaps PERHAPS if im gonna need to break down the blobs of text, zain is nice to look at

(Ah…) I get up from my chair, and face the doorway nervously. But at the next moment, my eyes instinctively open wide. (That, person…) The figures that followed behind Zain were two men I was familiar with―

The platinum-blond man with the air of intimidating beauty, and the man in the butler uniform who had worn a smile on his face―

The people I had witnessed in the courtyard days before.

[Prince Yakov]: “―As I have heard that you have found a candidate for the designer position, I have come.” [Prince Yakov]: “Your Grace, I give you my humble gratitude for granting my request.” [Kara]: “Eh…” [Prince Yakov]: “…” I inadvertently let out a small cry of surprise, and the Prince finally meets my eyes. For a split second his eyes had widened, but almost immediately after it shifts into a sharp gaze. (A person like him is the prince of Sanct Sybil, of all things…)

Steeped in the shocking reality of it all, I stare dumbfounded at Prince Yakov―

➤ now part of me was thinking, do people really need all the screencaps of when he makes the -_- face but honestly him doing the -_- face for half of his portraits on this route is part of the experience

To be continued…

(Letter)

➤ so uh this might be a crapshoot in terms of placement bc there’s diff letters based on the special story you choose, and also i forget where the last few letters go loool but that won’t be a problem until later

From: Yakov Title: (untitled)

…So you are the designer recommended by Lord Nobel? If you come to my country, you will be treated to the finest hospitality. Therefore you should not ponder over unnecessary matters and just bring yourself here. Good?

―Yakov

holy fucc idk why this is more tiring to translate than other stuff. maybe bc this is a slow route where we have exposition and non-romantic chara development we have to tread thru first. also lol translating the bmp writers’ style seems like more work? vs stuff like cybird? idk it’s hard to explain. i’m not a super big fan of what i have rn…. in fact i’m like wtf what is this incomprehensible garbage i made... but i’m too tired to do revisions rn…… aye… but i’ll definitely look over it again in attempt to give it more clarity+readability so yea. there’s nothing’s “wrong” in terms of the literal meaning per se - it’s more like i’d like to make it flow better and actually follow grammar rules instead of cheating with dashes and line breaks hahaaa

anyway guess ill see u at the next part when (if?) i bother to do it. hrmmm i should try to make the chunks larger given that this story is 15 eps + 3 special stories (with ~3 variations for each story) + epilogue but fuuu ill get there when i get there

Next Episode…

“If you wish to hear of my tastes - you will have to ask me in a more alluring voice.”

yea thats rite im hitting u with the azn drama cliffhanger. well now i have to do this translation or else this would be mean….. this is a psychological effort to get me to not leave this unfinished

Again, thanks for reading!

#be my princess #yakov chernenkov #bmpYCS1 #yea thatll be my tag for this shit so feel free to block it #bmp

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whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk · 4 years

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okay this is my last post I know I'm being very annoying and I hate to clog the tag but I just have to scream into the void for a while if you disagree or you're annoyed with me please just scroll past this rant thank you

- the hitman plot. god. we all hate that shit. what I realllllly hate is how long and drawn out it is. should've been one episode tops, like when dean tried it. I want to say, that obviously it's not gonna work bcz it would be stupid to kill off the character carrying the entire show, but at this point maybe they are gonna kill him off??? idfk. maybe it's a punishment for all the people (everyone) who like him. truthfully the whole "murder is our only way out of this" attitude is disappointing and seemingly out of character for all of the girls. Boomer attacked annie and they let him fuckin live. They knew he was a fuckin rapist piece of shit, and a regular piece of shit too, but couldn't kill someone. But apparently killing someone beth, at one point, felt some typa way about...smh..apparently that is A ok and they don't even explore other options or feel the least bit guilty?? even when they "mourned" boomer it was more about marion than him. But rio and his whole ass innocent child are not a thought at all??? Wild. Truly. Also....what do they think will happen?? If I were a gang leader's right hand the first person I would check upon seeing my boss get murdered would probably be the person who tried to murder him last time lmao. Do they really think they would get away with it? Even if they didnt get caught, they wouldnt be off the hook. Surely mick would just keep things going, with even less leeway. And what happens when their illegal activities bite them in the ass when Rio is gone? Who are they gonna blame everything on? Who is gonna clean up their mess? No one. And this whole "I'm not doing it, wait yes I am, wait no I'm not, wait I'm gonna do it" thing the hitman is doing is...not it. I'm assuming were gonna get an explanation about how he knew that this was a crime of passion (lol)

-beth beth beth......you know there is a theory floating around that she has serious ptsd and I actually would love to see that explored but that shit ain't happening lol. I'm tired of feeling like I'm analyzing her character. At what point is it too much. She's hard to read but I think it has crossed the line over complex and ventured into poor characterization. She's gotten chances and chances and I'm tired. And dean. God I'm tired. I feel like all season I've been watching beth do the same thing, play good wifey, risk her (and Annie's and Ruby's) life by doing stupid shit..and that's basically it. Face some fckn consequences for your actions please. Take some responsibility. I feel like the show is showing us inklings of...something...bubbling underneath the surface but it's not our job to fill in the blanks or interpret shit. I do not work for nbc. I'm not getting paid for this. What is this girl thinking trying to get rio to invest in hot tubs (bless her calling dean an idiot. fuck this show for making him suddenly a good salesman) while trying to kill him. Does she think he dies and suddenly she owns it?? Makes zero sense. Also unpopular opinion i dont like that she caused a scene with the pool ball. Like....of course he isnt listening to you....you shot him...3 times....then stole from him....and have been screwing him over repeatedly.

-dean just....no. I understand that beth has so much going on in her life right now that divorce isn't exactly on her mind and dean is the last trace she has left of a normal life so shes holding onto it for dear life.....actually no. I do not know if any of that is actually true or if I'm just interpreting wrong. Because the subtext and editing and parallels and all that would be fine and dandy but not when that's all the show is at this point. If dean cheating yet again is not gonna make beth leave him, nothing will. I want his screentime to be 30 seconds and nothing more.

-im just not invested in the boland children. Annie and ruby have both struggled real bad, but beth, the one in the deepest, has 4 children who are somehow unaffected by this?? Not to mention the whole divorce, wait never mind, oh look a gang leader hanging out with mommy again, oh look our house is empty, type stuff happening. Beth's kids should be going through it but for some reason they arent? Maybe it's because child labor laws or something lol.

- rio. At this point I'm rooting for him for than anything. But I genuinely do not know why he hasnt killed beth. She's proven herself to be more of a liability than an asset and I just cannot understand why he hasnt killed her. Unless it's the whole "feelings" route, which wouldve made him look dumb, but made sense based on what we were given. This is actually the direction I thought the season was going but now it just seems like he is a bad businessman lol. Obviously she cant die for the sake of the show, but its like they didnt even try to make it make sense. He definitely knows about the hitman btw. I dont really blame him for anything he's done with beth so far. He robbed her in retaliation. He had to cut her off when she started acting shady. 🤷‍♀️ he let's her get away with too much tbh. It's a shame that this character isnt being utilized. Its like they are banking on this mysterious aura to keep working, but we are 3 seasons in and it's a little old now. I personally think that they just don't know what to do with him now. Also can I point out how dumb he looks showing beth that he is doing business at the carwash, why would he give her more information than she needs when he is suspicious of her? I cant tell if I was happy with how unphased he looked about her outburst or if I wish he checked her.

-mick. Did his side plot with beth die? How does it seem like this show simultaneously moves through plots every episode but is also stuck in the same one for the entire season? I also think mick is not being utilized. As funny as it is for him to be a built in 3rd wheel all the time, they could do so much more. Like can you imagine if beth mouthed off or fucked up and mick checked her? The possible ways a plot like that could go...untapped potential.

-ruby. Ah...I remember when I thought her and stan's fight was dragging for too long. Miss those days. See even tho ruby and stan seem to have the same issue over and over it's not the same story. Pen cap, new job, sarah stealing, all the same fight, but with different stories. And it really seems like Ruby's always going through it but I appreciate the variety. Stan's storyline has been interesting but I dont know how much it relates to the central plot. Sarah....great. that actress is so talented and even tho shes an attitude machine (what preteen is not) i just love her scenes. Harry seems to be missing a lot. The hills are the only part I seem to enjoy anymore. Really wish the show would explore why ruby seems to be the one who keeps getting caught up with the law...I wonder what it could be....what is different about her..hm...

- annie. Backtracked so much. Wish she had a single plot that didnt revolve around men. Now shes trying to cheat on her GED. Where's the snark? Where's the wit? It seems like all she is now is a codependent insecure mess. And I'm tired of this fuckass therapist. I thought her study montage was gonna end in a "she didnt need anyone but family (:" lesson but it did not for whatever reason. I thought by bringing a therapist into the show it was gonna give us more of a look at Annie's and Beth's upbringing and relationship. Or help annie work through her issues, the boomer thing too. Or maybe lead to Beth's ptsd diagnosis. Therapy could've helped move the plot forward or help the characters grow, but it's doing the opposite of that. If its not contributing to the main plot, what is its purpose? To give annie yet another terrible love interest?

To summarize....I hate it here.

#nbc good girls #good girls nbc #im just venting #really don't want to turn this into a debate #ive been awake for 24 hours and drinking for 20 of those

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savedpeople · 5 years

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negan-related thoughts during the rewatch:

“walker long johns with the little ass flap” still kills me.

“i should just slit your throat and be done with it.” negan’s been there, done that beta. rip negan’s neck scar that only exists when the plot needs it to which has been for like, two minutes in one scene in season 9.

so glad to see the dick talk is back in uh, full swing.

i read so many people that couldn’t wait for negan to see alpha and make some comment about how “ugly” or “gross” she is and i’m just so happy amc kept to the comics and went in the opposite direction. (plus alpha isn’t ugly? creepy yes, especially with the “makeup” but she ain’t ugly. we all saw how she looked at the fair)

the negan/beta montage is the best thing i’ve seen in a long time

i feel like having negan dragging that one body while beta easily carried two over his shoulders was low key acknowledgement that yeah, we know, this negan isn’t as big or buff as his comic counterpart. because negan in the comics carries two the exact same way beta does here with no trouble

poor negan having to take out the pig with a tiny pocket knife instead of a bow and arrow like he did in the comics

i get the feeling the whisperers actually kind of like negan. everything is so silent and serious and gloomy with them but in comes negan, this loud, talkative, lively fella. not only that but they witness him fearlessly undermine and joke around beta constantly when all of them would never dare to. look at this new funky weird man. the scene where the whisperer gives him food was kind of precious and showed that there’s at least a few of them that definitely like him. rip bacon giver

“i mean, it ain’t ego if i really am that awesome.” smh

seriously how are none of the walkers catching on to beta and negan having a full on chat right in the middle of them

stop giving negan shitty weapons that break at inconvenient times 2k19

for real where did lucille 2.0 go he just got it and it’s already mia :(

the entire ending scene was amazing and kinda hot?? the music was great. negan’s return was great (the group parting to let him through? negan covered in blood from all the walkers beta assumed would kill him? fuck yeah.) negan kneeling to alpha was fucking awesome. everything about it was perfect and *negan vc* i am in love.

“whatever you want, whatever i got, it’s yours.” hell yeah babyyyy!!

ok but did anyone else think alpha looked like she was gonna kiss him bc we were gettin’ real close there for a second and judging by the look on negan’s face and the way he was practically batting his fckn eyelashes i’m pretty sure he was enjoying that way too much and thinking the same thing too

anyone that still believes that negan is “nothing without an army of people backing him up” or “can’t survive on his own” can suck it after this episode my man’s a badass and is rocking it this season i’m loving it

#it's 5:40 in the morning i need to SLEEP #jenwatchestwd #twd spoilers #been a while since i've talked this much about an episode on here

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amimons · 5 years

Note

001 for Code Lyoko or the Dragon Prince

001 | The Dragon Prince (I’ve only seen snippets of Code Lyoko when I was a kid lol)

Favorite character: SUPER tough but I gotta go with Rayla

Least Favorite character: I honestly don’t have one but for fun I’ll just say Marcos. Boy Rayla spared your life and you ran off to tattle. Smh

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):in no particular order:- Rayla + Callum- Amaya + Janai - Annika + Neha- Harrow + Sarai- Viren + Aaravos

Character I find most attractive: Claudia

Character I would marry: Corvus, He is just a real sweetheart.

Character I would be best friends with: Callum, I feel like we have like a similar vibe going on lol.

a random thought: I will be SHOCKED if Harrow didn’t switch places with Pip. The first day it premiered I binged the whole season in one go and I immediately thought after the assassination that Harrow was in Pip. You don’t make Ezran have the ability to talk to animals if Harrow wasn’t actually Pip Okay.

An unpopular opinion: Not sure if this is unpopular but even though it was a cruel thing Claudia did to those poor deers I wanted her to do it…I was rooting for Claudia to stray in her path in order for her to experience the negative impact dark magic causes. She did ultimately do it for her bother which was a good purpose but the sacrifices that had to be made in order to cut corners is harmful.

My Canon OTP: Annika + Neha. If you can make me hardcore ship a pair through a flashback scene, you did a really good job. (Also, Viren must be lying. If was the only one who witnessed their death, the two people actively that cause a halt in his plan, then who’s to say he didn’t fabricate it all and ditched them. They are alive.)

My Non-canon OTP: Rayla + Callum. I mean its in the works but they aren’t official yet so it counts.

Most Badass Character: Aunt Amaya. My god can she fight with a shield or what.

Most Epic Villain: Aaravos. The mystery behind him, his lure to Viren…I’m very intrigued…

Pairing I am not a fan of: I understand it at face value but Soren and Rayla. They would have more a bro thing going on.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): I have like no criticism on the writing direction so I will say something minor that I have like the weakest opinion on. I wish we found out the deal with Runaan in part 2 but I don’t mind the wait like at all. And I felt like Soren’s healing was a tad rushed, it would’ve been interesting to see him cope with that with a more extended amount of time.

Favourite Friendship: Claudia and Soren. Yes, they are brother and sister I was afraid they would go the Cliché root with them being at each other’s necks due to different personalities and interests. I’ve been following The Dragon Prince since the day they made their twitter account and announced the series. I followed their announcements of the characters and I was like hmm they are gonna pull a Zuko/Azula thing with these two…its interesting but I want them to be pals. They have a great energy between the two. They joke around, bicker, but most importantly care about each other’s well being/safety.

Character I most identify with: Claudia/Callum.

Character I wish I could be: Rayla…who wouldn’t…

Fandom ask game

#thank you for asking!#I loveee talking about the dragon prince #the dragon prince #ask #Anonymous

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psycho-slytherin · 6 years

Text

Rules

You need a name and a face to connect with your soulmate. What happens when you have both… and neither?

Pairing: Swimmer/Poet!Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Fluff I think?

Warnings: Swearing, poetry, wonderfully unsatisfying ending

WC: 2k

|mlist|

Based on a survey you guys took in which you chose a soulmate enemies-to-lovers au! Thanks to everyone that took the survey <3

[n/n = nickname]

REEEEEE! The blast of Coach Kim’s whistle sends adrenaline pumping through your veins and you dive off the edge of the pool, letting the cold water envelop you before you surface. Your legs are pressed together as you raise both arms simultaneously and let their force push you forward before kicking, kicking– arms, kick, kick, kick, arms, kick, kick, kick, arms, kick, kick, kick… you set a steady rhythm, sneaking a breath with every stroke, and your strong legs propel you to the end of the pool. Without missing a beat you duck, twist, and push off from the wall in the opposite direction, moving so quickly in the water you almost want to laugh.

Too soon, you reach the end of the pool once more, the slap of your hand on the cement signaling your coach to stop the timer.

“Fifty fly… nice! N/n, that’s 0.8 seconds off your best!”

“Yes!” you grin crazily, your heartbeat loud in your ears.

“Keep this up and you’ll be a shoe-in for regionals,” Coach Kim tells you. “Girls’ fly is gonna be one of the toughest races this season, but I think you’ve got the chops for it.”

“Thanks, Coach!” Even in the cold air of morning practice, your cheeks warm at the praise.

“Psh… girls’ fly is a fake competition,” Hobi, one of the guys on your team, says as he puts on his goggles. “Like whiffle ball. Or Ultimate Frisbee.”

“Put your money where your mouth is,” you fire back, hoisting yourself out of the pool. A bunch of the guys on your team are obnoxious, sure, but Hobi is a special breed of asshole.

“I’ll put something else where my mouth is,” he replies, winking.

You smile sweetly as you mime breaking his neck, and Hobi laughs. “Feisty today, aren’t you?”

“You know, Hobi, my favorite part of practice is when you’re under water.”

“Is that so?” “Mmhmm. ‘Cause I don’t have to listen to your voice, and I can entertain the prospect of you drowning.”

“Too bad for you– given that I’m a real swimmer, that’s not gonna happen anytime soon, is it?”

“I’m a real swimmer too, dickhead!”

“You haven’t proven that yet,” Hobi says with a smirk, and you open your mouth to fire back a scathing reply, but–

“Hobi! Chimmy! Yoongs! You’re up– anyone else want to try for the guys’ fifty free?”

You wrinkle your nose. You’re faster than Chimmy and Yoongs for sure, and to always separate by gender is a constant thorn in your side. You want to race against the best in the league, not just the best girls.

Bored, you watch the guys jump into the water, separated in three lanes. You hate ranking day, when just before a match Coach Kim races swimmers to decide who’s the best in each category. It only means you spend most of your time outside the pool, and at six in the morning such a setting is really not ideal.

“On my mark– if I see any of you grabbing the lane line, you’re out of the water for the rest of practice– Go!”

Immediately the three boys push off the wall– Hobi easily outpaces the other two, his strong scissor kicks splashing you as he passes.

“Hey!” That had better not have been intentional. You can see Hobi’s strong back muscles working as he turns his head to breathe.

Why do literally the worst people have the nicest bodies? You’re pretty sure that’s not fair. Asshole that he is, you can’t help but stare at Hobi when he swims backstroke– unlike his personality, his abs are nothing to laugh at.

“Well done, guys!” Coach Kim says enthusiastically when all three finish their lap. “Hobi, you sheared 0.3 seconds off your best– at this rate, you’re gonna be number one in the league. Yoongs, Chimmy, you’re brilliant endurance swimmers– work on your speed, okay? Keep it up.”

“Yes, Coach!”

“That’s ranking done for today,” Coach Kim says, glancing around. “The match is next week, so here’s what I’m thinking so far. Girls’ fifty fly, n/n. Boys’ fifty free, Hobi. Girls’ two hundred free–”

You tune him out as soon as you hear your nickname. Yes!

“Now to celebrate– one thousand meters’ cooldown. Your choice of stroke.”

The team collectively groans and you join in– a forty-lap cooldown? Well, you’ve had worse. You jump into the water and start moving to stay warm, choosing to swim breaststroke for the sake of going easy on your poor level of endurance. Even with the flurry of movement around you, you feel calm, collected, peaceful. The feeling of the water surrounding and caressing you is mesmerizing, and to your empty mind suddenly springs–

Awash in beauty, the tears of the Earth Fall upon the faraway stars in vain A weakened heart celebrates its weak birth The twins from days of old cry out for rain.

You grin underwater– with the goggles and swim cap, you surely look rather alien, but you don’t care. That’s a good stanza; you’ll have to remember it so you can share it with the others.

“N/n! N/n!” Yoongs calls out as you leave the girls’ locker room after practice. Coach Kim is standing nearby, talking to some parents.

“Hey– what’s up?”

“Do you…” Yoongs looks down, his pale cheeks reddening. “Do you wanna share names?”

Your eyes widen and your gaze darts to the coach. “We can’t– you know that. It’s against the rules. Coach doesn’t want distractions.”

“I-I know, but…”

You smile sadly. “I don’t think we’re soulmates, and the coach said no names. Sorry.”

“Yeah. I understand,” Yoongs says, eyes downcast. “Well, see you tomorrow.” “See ya.”

“Rejected,” you hear a sudden cackle behind you, and you jump.

“Jesus!”

“Aww, did I scare you?” Hobi asks with a fake pouty face.

“Yes– you’re wearing some sort of horrible mask.” You make a show of poking his cheek.

“Very funny. Was Yoongs asking to share names?”

“Why do you care?” you ask, affronted.

“Just the fact that he has to ask– what, you think it’s fine to require nicknames?”

“For sports?” You roll your eyes. “Of course. What if you were about to race and you found out your opponent was your soulmate?”

“But what if our soulmates were on our team?” Hobi steps closer. “What would you do if you found out I was your soulmate?”

“I’d dropkick you off the nearest diving board,” you inform him dryly. “Now leave me alone, cause I’m mighty tempted to make that a reality.”

“Fuck you too, n/n.”

You blow him your most sarcastic kiss before turning around, making sure to step on his foot on your way. You’re wearing flip-flops, so the only effect is your own increased satisfaction. You want to go home, write down that stanza, and talk to your friends.

In a world where soulmates need each others’ names and faces to connect, it’s stylish to walk around with a name tag in the hopes you might catch your soulmate’s eye. You’ve never adhered to that practice, instead retreating to the last anonymous corner of society– the Internet.

Plopping down, you open your laptop and log into the chat.

*its-shakespeare-bitch has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @its-shakespeare-bitch: guys guyssss i thought of a good stanza *RhythM24 has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @RhythM24: are you still in your iambic pentameter phase? @its-shakespeare-bitch: It’s a good phase :( *shininonasgard has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* *alittlealliteration has joined Poetry isn’t a kink* @shininonasgard: namjoon shush y/n’s sonnets are really good @its-shakespeare-bitch: tHAnK yOu hoseok @shininonasgard: <3 @alittlealliteration: ok but I logged on for poetry discourse not y/n and Hoseok flirting again @its-shakespeare-bitch: hahahaha I’ll kill you hahahaha *shininonasgard has invited you to Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* *its-shakespeare-bitch has joined Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* @shininonasguard: Taehyung’s just jealous ;) @its-shakespeare-bitch: of what, my wit and charm? @shininonasguard: yep @its-shakespeare-bitch: lol I was being sarcastic @shininonasguard: I wasn’t. @its-shakespeare-bitch: omg shut up before I actually fall in love with you @shininonasguard: don’t tempt me~ @its-shakespeare-bitch: gross, now I’m feeling emotions @shininonasguard: art thou not an artist? Use these emotions, y/n, channel your inner muse! @its-shakespeare-bitch: you just want me to write you a poem smh you’re a poet too yknow @shininonasguard: I like ur poems tho :)))))) @its-shakespeare-bitch: dork now I’m smiling how dare you @shininonasguard: Wish I could see your real smile You inhale sharply. You’ve been part of this chat, with the same nerds, for two years– despite having never met face to face, they’re your closest friends. You even revealed your whole names to each other– but faces? That’s different. As much as you’d like to meet them in real life, as much as you’d like to look Hoseok in the eye when you read him something you’ve written…

@its-shakespeare-bitch: I know @its-shakespeare-bitch: and I wish I could see u too, but we promised we’d keep this chat free of soulmate frenzy. Since we know each others’ names @shininonasguard: yeah ik

@shininonasguard: Doesn’t keep me from imagining u tho. I bet you’re really pretty

@its-shakespeare-bitch: as pretty as poe was positive

@shininonasguard: Shushhh I know you’re pretty. You have a pretty soul and pretty words and that’s all I need to call you pretty

@its-shakespeare-bitch: charmer

What you don’t say is that on reading his words, your cheeks go bright red and you start smiling like crazy. This guy just does things to you– his manner of speech is far from simplistic, and he has a beautiful way of writing his verses straight from the heart. Between the two of you, in fact, you’d call his soul the pretty one.

@shininonasguard: hey I gotta go help my mom ttyl?

@its-shakespeare-bitch: sure, mama’s boy~

@shininonasguard: I consider that a compliment

@its-shakespeare-bitch: I meant it as one <3

@shininonasguard: jfc you’re literally perfect I am so goddamn lucky

@its-shakespeare-bitch: lmao go help your mom, Hoseok. ttyl

@shininonasguard: bye, y/n (^3^)

*shininonasgard has left Hoseok and y/n’s private chat*

*its-shakespeare-bitch has left Hoseok and y/n’s private chat* You sit back and sigh, hiding a smile. He’s so cute, he’s so cute, he’s so cute. Why does he have to be so cute? It sucks cause it’s not like he’s your soulmate anyways, so there’s no point in falling for him, but he makes that hard because he’s so. Damn. Cute.

When you fall asleep that night, you’re fatigued but happy. You’re representing your team in your best category, you entered a poetry competition with a piece that you feel really good about, and Hoseok is so wonderful to talk to… yeah. Save for one particular dumbass on swim team, you’re feeling pretty damn good about life.

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thewritingstar · 5 years

Note

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE.

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go.

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others.

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

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rumpikerzzzworld · 5 years

Text

April, You Will Be Remembered

It’s the 1st of May!! I want to post about some unforgettable April 2019 moments because I want to keep the memories that someday I want to remember again. So many things happened in the month. There were some heart-breaking incidents and of course there were some enjoyable moments as well. I’m just gonna highlight the things I want to remember the most. Here they are!!

BLACK HOLE

It is announced that on 10th April 2019 a group of scientist from the international Event Horizon Telescope (EHT) releasing the image of a black hole to public. This project was began in 2006. It took supercomputers, eight telescopes stationed on five continents, hundreds of researchers, and vast amounts of data to accomplish (source: the verge).

(cr: Event Horizon Telescope)

I was not someone who understands much about space life, even though I studied the basic knowledge when I was in secondary and high school. However, I appreciated a lot this not easy job. I used to have a dream to be an astronomer when I was a kid, but i have to come to realization that I’m not smart enough to pursue the dream, lol. I’m currently into astronauts’ life though. I watch documentaries, read articles and other sources about astronaut’s and space’s life. So that, it made me happy to read this news. Moreover, one of the computer scientists in the team who led the development program to get the first-image of black hole is a woman named Katie Bouman. She is just 29-year-old when she did that. She is amazing!! I always wonder what kind of method those people use when they are studying. I mean, how could they be so smart? I feel like I’m such a useless and stupid human being. I’m nothing huhu. Anyway, I’m happy to witness the history of the first image of black hole.

GAME OF THRONES

FINALLY, WINTER IS COMING. I might not be the fan of the show since day 1. I just started watching game of thrones in 2017. Ever since I watched the first season, I started becoming a fan and addicted to the show then finished all of the 7 seasons in a few weeks. The show is that addictive, it made me threw any dramas/movies for about 6 months because I felt that the show was too well executed and any other movies/dramas in that time period I was watching the show felt bland. I’m sorry, I didn’t intend to belittle other shows. It’s just the thing I felt that moment. I was so mesmerized by the storyline which literally beyond my expectation. It was so good. I know there are a lot of people who don’t like the show, and it’s okay as everyone has their own preference. But to me, this show is so far my very favourite one.

It took me 2 years to wait for the last season which is season 8 to be aired. I cant contain my feelings as I was so excited about this. AAAANNDDDDD IT’S FINALLY HERE. GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8 IS HAPPENING. 14th April 2019 should be put as a history date as the show was aired on that day. Actually, I’m pretty sad that there will be just 6 episodes. I wish they make it to 10, but who am I to complain?

Okay, back to the show. The most talked episode is episode 3, the Battle of Winterfell, which was shown in that very episode. The episode lasts for about 80 minutes long. The thing that has been waited since season 1 was the war between the alive and the dead. There are so much reactions and opinions regarding the episode, fans are splitted into two groups, the one who enjoyed the episode and the one who disliked the episode as it didn’t reach their expectation. I’m the one who included to the first one, I pretty enjoyed the show although I think it wasn’t the greatest battle in Game of Thrones. My favourite battle was Battle of Bastards as it was really tensed. But, I still like the Battle of Winterfell though. As of now, I want to put aside the negativity and just enjoy the rest of episodes. I’m planning on reading the books after the show is over.

One thing that I really like about episode 3 is the hyped from the people who watched together in cafes, restaurants, and other place. Their reactions were priceless. See these videos that went viral on twitter!!

1 2

ELECTION

One of the most tiring to bear ever since social media era existed is election. The countries that pursue democracy usually conduct election to choose their own leader, including my country. In the past, there weren’t much sources to search about election information other than from tv and newspaper, so that the backlash could be reduced. But it’s different now. In this digital age, people can share everything including the positive and negative contents. Social media as one of the tools for people to do campaign and spread either good thing or black-campaign for the election candidates. ISTG, this is so tiring to witness people bashing each other and most of them have crossed the line. I’m so done!

In Indonesia, for 2019’s election, there were some changes compare to the previous election. They were included the period of time of campaign which was so long (about 7 months) and also adding the other 3 elections of legislative to be held in the same very day. It used to be held in different months, but due to the lack of participation in legislative election so that they were all conducted together.

Indonesian Presidential Election Candidates (Left: Jokowi-Amin, Right: Prabowo-Sandi)

(cr: Media Indonesia)

I was eager for this to end soon. It finally happened on 17th April 2019. But, something bad happened again. The incident which happened in 2014 was re-enacted as both candidates claimed they win. Even though the quick count results from about 12 institutions showed that Jokowi-Amin led the vote by gaining about 54% votes while Prabowo-Sandi gained around 44% votes. I’m so done with this. I will just wait for the official results to be announced and I wish on that day there will be no chaos happen.

Aside of that, something that breaks my heart is there were a lot of election officers died and fell sick due to exhaustion from working way too hard as most of them working until very late night and some even worked until the next morning because there were so many jobs to do, including counting the vote for legislative elections (DPR, DPRD, DPD). Although there were no major incident happened during the election process itself, but still this thing supposed to not happen. There is definitely something wrong with the system and it should be fixed so that there will be no victims anymore.

MOURNING IN SRI LANKA

21st April 2019 is Easter Day. Things supposed to be calm and sacred on that day. But disgusting act ruined it all. Multiple bombing attacks happened in several places in Sri Lanka, including at churches and hotels. Hundred of people died and many people got injured. Some extremists claimed they are responsible for the attacks, SMH. I wish the ones who dead are resting in peace, while the ones who got injured will get well soon and receive some strength to continue life. and for the terrorists, I wish you die in suffer and go to hell!!

I don’t get why in 2019, hatred ideology is still growing fast in this world. Sadly, in some developed-countries which the citizen are more educated, this ideology also exist. People should learn that the differences that make this world beautiful. Why some people feel like they want to hurt each other just because they have differences in term of race, skin colour, religion, countries, ideology, etc. We need to respect each other differences as long as it doesn’t violate the rule of law.

I think there should be a formal lesson in school to teach students to respect the differences. Parents should teach their children right too. Sadly, I found a lot of parents who taught their children to hate people who are different from them. This needs to be stopped. Everyone deserves to get equal treatment. We all want a better future. We cant reach this as long as we still fight each other because of the differences. Just put aside it and look the bigger picture, the same goal we want to pursue. As of now, i’m kinda sceptical if we can reach peace in the near future. However, someday in the future, I wish the world will be a better place to live in. Amen

(cr: wisdom quotes)

AVENGERS ENDGAME

Marvel fans have anticipated the final movie from Avengers United. They are excited as well as sad as the avengers series come to end. Avengers Endgame was screened since 26th April 2019 in my country. There were so much fans who purchased pre-order ticket in a few days prior to the movie screening. It’s kinda cray because the cinemas are full packed with the audiences. Most cinemas even dedicated all of their studios for this movie as the demands are very high then putting aside the other movies. I feel bad for the other movies as they didn’t get time slot for their movies in cinema because of Avengers movie. I wish this wont last long as other movies deserve to get screened as well.

Okay, back to Avengers Endgame movie. Just in March 2019, I watched Captain Marvel movie and in April, I got to watch the last movie of Avengers. I’m actually not a big fan of Superheroes movies, I’m just a casual viewer who enjoyed the movies and i enjoyed watching this one as well. Avengers Endgame runs for 181 minutes, it’s pretty long. I came to bathroom in the middle of movie though, lol.

Overall, I like this movie as I think everything was executed very well. The cinematography, the sound, the edit, the effect are totally top-class work as well as the casts and their act. It really gives everyone goosebumps during the war between Avengers United and Thanos and his soldiers. I couldn’t blink my eye any second because I didn’t want to miss anything. Even though, I felt like I wanted to go to number 1 again in the middle of war scene, but I held it until the movie was over, lol. The movie is worth the hyped though. It’s indeed a masterpiece. I think I’m gonna rewatch it later. But, first I need to watch several marvel movies that I haven’t watched yet so everything will connect and make sense as I still didn’t understand some part. Anyway, thanks marvel for presenting a very well done job!! Goodbye or See you (?) Avengers!!

(cr: marvel)

Bye April 2019. Welcome my month, May!!

xoxo

mels

#black hole #katie bouman #game of thrones #election #sri lanka #avengers #avengers endgame

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shhhselah · 6 years

Photo

Prayer Requests Update

Monday, January 21, 2019

7:43pm

I really want you all to take in these pictures, okay?

What comes to mind? Awe? A desire to travel? Peace? Wonder?

I’ll tell you what comes to mine: God.

Only God could paint something so breathtakingly, chest crushingly astounding.

So, as I write, I desperately need you all to remember these pictures and the Artist behind them. (And sorry, I don’t know the photographer! Just the Creator <3)

A couple of days ago, I put up a post on Facebook for prayer requests. I was super excited to be able to come to the King and war on behalf of my family, friends and even strangers for whatever they were seeking. Honestly, as the answers came in, I was amazed. Amazed that nearly every person was asking for the same three things- Discipline, Clarity and Mental Health.

On the surface, those first two seem like a beautiful thing while the last one seems devastating. “How lovely that the people want to be more dutiful in their walk with the Lord! Amazing that they want His clarity and guidance! Ugh, but how tragic that mental health issues and that dag on stress and anxiety are running rampant. The devil really is at work these days smh.” I can hear the church folk now.

But in all actuality, all three of these requests are heartbreaking and a cause for righteous fury against the enemy. And it is on this post- where I am positive that more people than the ones who asked for prayer need this- that I will break it all down. First, is Discipline.

Discipline

All 2018, I thought that I had avoided the “Hustle & Grind” movement, where you bust your butt tirelessly to get where you want in life. I had a plan: Ask God and wait for the answer. Period. Lol. Buuuuuuuttttt, that didn’t really work. And what He showed me on today was that, while in the natural I wasn’t busting my butt, in the spiritual, I absolutely was. I was carrying my salvation on my back and legitimately being my own task master. I would constantly berate myself, just infuriated and disappointed with my slow progress or lack of progress.

It seemed like for as much as I grew, I really wasn’t going anywhere. The bar always got pushed back and the expectations always piled on. It seemed like I could just never catch up or do/be enough. I was always lacking, always inadequate. In my eyes, I was never bold enough, holy enough, talented enough, disciplined enough, grateful enough, patient enough, confident enough, beautiful enough, wise enough, anointed enough, educated enough and the list goes freaking on. I spent all year riding myself into a better Kelah, reminding God what He said and showed me about myself and how in comparison, the present me was horrifically lacking. So I would tap my foot and my imaginary watch to remind God that we needed to pick up the pace if I was ever gonna be and do, what He made me to be and do.

That folks, was the devil.

Yep. Simple and clean. Let’s think about this. Why would anyone be asking for discipline? Because their current modus operandi isn’t up to their liking. They’ve taken inventory and felt that something isn’t working or adding up. Like me, I constantly felt like I was lacking, so I deduced that I needed to do more and be more. But why? Why did I feel that way? Because I felt inadequate, so it made me frustrated, resentful, bitter, guilty, ashamed and insecure. Let me make this clear, guys: Those feelings are not of God. They are of the devil. God would never make us or encourage us to feel this way. God is not the God of, “You should be ashamed of yourself.” He killed shame on the Cross.

So, if you’ve felt any of those things in your walk with God or in your pursuit of a better you, that feeling is satanic and not healthy, not heavenly and not conducive.

The Lord told me this about Discipline, that this is His is the Lord’s word for those working on their relationship with Him: In this year, I am going to be the reason and power, the motivation and movement behind your discipline. I will be the force driving your actions. No longer will you feel the need to rely solely on your own will power and strength. I am going to reveal Myself to you, show you who I am and teach you through experience and time, the joy of My company. I will be your Best Friend. I will be your Teacher and Guide. I will be your Mentor. I will keep you and love you like a Parent. I will hold you down and stand by you like a Ride or Die. I will lavish you and treat you like a significant other. I will chill out and vibe with you like a sibling or roommate. I will be near to you always. I will be available to you always. And from the sheer knowledge of who I am and the taste of the times we share together, will a greater desire to be in My company arise.

1 John 4:19 says “We love because He first loved us.” Without Me, you cannot love Me or anything else. So what makes you think that apart from Me, you can do anything else? John 15:5 says “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” Apart from Me, you can do nothing. Apart from Me, you don’t have the ability to produce the sort of discipline I’ve built in you. Separate from Me, you cannot produce the gifts and skills I’ve placed inside of you. Without Me, you can’t operate at the level that I desire of you. Outside of Me, you cannot be pleasing to Me. So use Me. I’m here. Everything you need, I have and will supply. All the desire to love Me, I’ll give it. The ability and attention span to study My Word and stay awake in church- I have it. The interest in learning about Me- I’ll pour it out. Just come to Me and ask. And I’ll take you on the ride of a lifetime- but you must do it with Me. Amen.

I learned this the hard way. I got so exhausted with my efforts, I legitimately became infuriated with God and stopped talking to Him. I stopped watching sermons, stopped reading the Bible, stopped praying, stopped thanking Him when I woke up, just went on with my day, purposefully giving Him my shoulder. Upset that I was upset with Him, but upset nonetheless. For weeks it steadily declined to that point. What was really crazy though, was that He never intended for me- or any of us- to get to that point! He never asked us to try to be star students for Him. He never wanted us to carry our salvation on our backs and try to live godly lives going off of our own strength and understanding of what He wants and how we should act and what we should do.

This is the season of God ending your reign as god over your life and allowing you to witness the ease of grace when He is properly given the position. No more of your expectations, your rules, your righteousness, your efforts, your understanding/interpretations, your legalism, your religiousness, your motivations, your strengths, your desires, and your logic and timing. This time around, we’re doing it His way. No more trying to assert and insert yourself. Just let God be God and do the work.

Hebrews 4:1-11 talks about entering the rest of God. Our journey with Him is into rest. But if you’re isolated and feel like you’re not doing enough or that you aren’t enough and the feelings behind it are anxiety, stress, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, shame, etc, then you’re probably being lied to by the devil so that he can keep you running rampant until you fall out physically and fall out with God.

Proverbs 23:4-5 says, “Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease! Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; They fly away like an eagle toward heaven.” I love that the New King James Version says “Do not overwork.” I love this verse (which I legit just came upon after getting to the bottom of this post) because it reminds us how how fleeting and fleeing our destinations and goals are. We seek riches but they steadily elude us, just like the expectations and standards the devil tries to tauntingly encourage us to attain. But again, we cannot do it on our own. Philippians 4:19 tells us that “My God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Three of God’s titles are Rabboni (Teacher), Addonai (Master) and Shepherd. So, as our Teacher, Master and Shepherd, please understand that He knows exactly where we’re going, when we need to get there, and how we are going to get there. Sheep aren’t meant to lead themselves. Students aren’t meant to teach themselves. And servants aren’t meant to run themselves. There is an ease in letting Him have the reigns.

In saying that, Imma let you in on a little secret. Isaiah 14:12-14, Ezekiel 28:14-18 and Luke 10:18 talk about the fall of Satan. What’s interesting, is that Isaiah 14:13-14 and Ezekiel 28:17 give the reason he was cast into hell and exiled from the Kingdom of God. Wanna know? Cause it’s super important, and you should remember it for the rest of your life: Satan focused on self. He exalted self. Period.

Look: Isaiah 14:13-14

“You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; 14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’”

Ezekiel 28:17

“Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor.”

Satan thought he was the bee’s knees and found out that he wasn’t. Satan thought he was better than God and more glorious than God and more wise and powerful and discerning than God, and should therefore reign above God- reign over God. And do you know what happened to him? I encourage you to click on that link and read it for yourself, but the short answer is: Jesus watched Him fall from heaven like lightning. He failed. Do you know why he failed? Because he wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t holy enough. He wasn’t smart enough. He wasn’t disciplined enough. He wasn’t good enough.

And ya know what?

Neither are we. Period.

Ladies and gentlemen, we do not have it in us to be godly enough to serve God properly. Satan wants you to focus on your abilities/lack thereof, your intelligence or lack thereof, your wisdom and holiness and creativity and skills and strength and everything else/the lack thereof with all of it. He wants you to be so consumed with what you do and don’t have/what you are and aren’t, that you never have the time, energy or reason to pay attention to the God who is every single thing you need. Our job down here, is not to get caught up and doped up on self. Satan’s greatest downfall was getting too hopped up on himself, so it’s his greatest weapon against us.

A conversation I just had with a few friends after discussing their prayer requests led me to a realization of the attack the enemy has planned against the body of Christ- Isolation. It is one of the greatest attacks using self. When you are isolated, you only think about yourself. It drives you away from the body of Christ, from friends, from family, from coworkers and mentors, from church and Bible Study. In all these attacks, confusion and problems that my friends and acquaintances have been facing, they always confess that they felt so alone in the struggle! Only to find out that the people around them were going through the exact same thing. If the enemy can make us think life is only about us, then we will be more willing to entertain our struggles, and less willing to fight our battles and issues. Because the damage only falls on us, and that’s less responsibility than if it affected several others or moreover, thousands of others. But we are a body, people!

1 Corinthians 12:25-27, “So that there should be no division in the body, but that its members should have mutual concern for one another. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each of you is a member of it.”

If one part suffers, every part suffers. So as each of us are getting individually attacked, so is the whole body. If your big toe is sprained, it makes walking hard because now you’re trying to take pressure off of it and you’re walking on the side of your foot, which is creating unequal distribution of weight and now your foot, legs, hips and back hurt because everything it out of whack. It’s like Captain America Civil War (lol). In order to disarm the Avengers, the villain knew that he had to break them apart by making them come into such vehement disagreement, that instead of being one solid unit, they broke into individual parts. And one by one, a group is always easier to pick off rather than if they were ganged up together. It’s easier to break individual plans of wood, it’s harder to take down a wall.

So the enemy wants us isolated, separated and focused entirely on self, where he can pick us off one by one. He wants us so focused on our problems- thinking nobody understands and that nothing more than our joy and finances are at risk- that we draw away from community and continue to secretly entertain things that God told us to put down and shake off. News flash for us though: We’re all getting attacked and this is a divisive scheme of the enemy to keep us from coming together and recognizing that we need each other. You are not alone. Others are suffering through the same things, but there are revelations, wisdom, prophecies, life lessons, Scriptures, teachings, encouragements, advice, prayers, etc that others have that you will never get if you don’t come out of the bubble of self and join the rest of the body. The enemy knows it’s much more potent to attack multiple people individually, rather than just attack a single individual multiple times. It’s better to hit them hard all at once over and over again, than to only drill one area. We need each other, but more importantly, we need God. Satan found out that without God, he’s nothing but a roach that needs permission to stick around.

Without God, who is the Head of our body, we are nothing more than individual members scattering around without purpose, without power and therefore, without progress.

Y’all remember those breathtaking pictures, right? Just like one star didn’t make up that galaxy, it is not just us in this big giant world and this grand ole scheme. Trust, it’s time to join the ranks and let Addonai take the reigns.

Clarity

Another popular prayer request was for clarity, guidance and discernment. This is heartbreaking because not knowing where to go is a feeling that’s equivalent to “being in the dark.” I was talking to God today and I told Him I was tired of being in the dark about what my next step was. Y’all know what He clapped back with and said? You would feel in the dark when you’re serving up under something that originates from darkness.

Uuuummm?? Wait hello?? Is this thing on, cause....what???

Like it came on the tail end of my comment. As in, no space or breath between. And it settled in me. I wasn’t surprised because He had shown me while I was praying on Friday that this was an issue too many of His children were dealing with right now. I had thought I was the only one, only to be bombarded with the fact that, this was so much bigger than me.

The enemy is really out to confuse the children of God, making them scatter and feel abandoned. If you can cut off a sheep’s ability to see and hear their Shepherd, then you can control them, or at least keep them from progressing and moving how they need to. The issue is, as God showed me:

There are things that we have entertained in the past- or are still entertaining- that are not of Him and thereby, have been given permission and authority to come into our lives and disrupt our connection with God. This happens through an attack on our discernment/clarity where the enemy places a covering over our minds and scales over our spiritual eyes and ears.

Acts 9:1-18 talks about the conversion of Saul into an apostle. For those who don’t know, Saul (whose name became Paul) is an OG in the Bible who wrote 13 of the New Testament books. He actually killed Christians for a living and was a super “high and mighty” sort of guy. He was the kind of church folk we don’t like. Real snooty and self righteous. Which is what Satan was and what God is trying to get us not to be. But anyways, in verse 18 of Acts 9, it says, “And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight.”

The Lord was showing me that there are some things that we have been serving/entertaining in the past or still presently are, that haven’t been cast down, surrendered to Him and disowned in our lives, so they have created scales over our eyes and ears. Some things that used to or still do have our attention and have the power to distract us.

For example, I had an Amazon Prime subscription that I forgot about it. Because I was a student, it was free. But a year after my schooling ended, it began to charge me as a regular subscription. Since I wasn’t aware of this, I hadn’t cancelled my subscription and the charges kept adding up. Monthly charges and late fees were steadily accruing to my account. They would call me over and over and over again, waking me from my sleep and taking up storage in my phone with their constant voicemails. My mom went to check the bill and noticed that was an amount where there should have been a zero balance.

Without my awareness or conscious consent, this thing was wreaking havoc on my life and still operating. Still causing damage. And our spiritual lives are the same way. Some of us subscribed for things in the past, or still have an active account they use, that is wreaking havoc on your discernment and clarity to this very day. You have given some spirit- lust, greed, vanity, revenge, addiction, etc access to your account and it is still running you into debt. And because you never disowned, cast off, and surrendered that thing to God, it is still operating and functioning.

His Word has told us the He has given us the Spirit of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 So that means, the enemy actually has no power over the state of our minds. But by the things we entertain, we can actually give him authority to disillusion us and enter into our discernment to interfere with our clarity. So these unclean spirits create a covering of confusion over our minds and create scales over our spiritual eyes and ears, which keep us-whether partially or wholly- blind and deaf to the guidance and voice of God. The enemy’s sole purpose is to keep us away from God. He doesn’t want us trusting God, consulting God, relying on God, praying to God, fellowshipping with Him, wanting Him, praising Him, talking to Him, etc.

So think of these things like the old school web page blocks. If you tried to go to a website that was restricted, it’d take you to the school district’d blocked page, telling you the site was unavailable and deemed inappropriate. So, because of our relation to these unclean spirits, they have the right, under certain topics of conversation, to reroute our calls with God to the blocked page so we can’t hear or see Him properly. So every time you try to get on the phone with the Lord and seek His help/guidance, that thing that you never surrendered hops on the line and whispers things to you or blocks you from recognizing His voice.

This year, it was prayed over me that it was extremely important to get familiar with God’s voice. I had a year of often thinking it was Him when it wasn’t. And the more areas of your life that aren’t submitted to Him, the larger the playing field is for anything to slide its answers to you. When you’re not submitted to God, your mind and discernment are a free for all in the spirit realm, where any demon or devil could be talking to you. You’ll definitely hear things that will lead you to serve whatever god you’re serving. I was serving vanity, so I was led to a lot of things, ideas and explanations the protected/promoted my image. Even if those things were damaging thoughts. We must be mindful of what we’re serving. If you serve money, you’ll hear opportunities everywhere. It will speak to you through anything.

If you are serving and operating in Unforgiveness, that in and of itself is a haze and block against the Lord. The Word says in Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold.” Unforgiveness is an actual opening to the devil to talk to you and influence you. And as long as you hold onto that anger, he can continue to talk to you and cloud your clarity on a matter, because he will only tell you things that satisfy that self righteous anger, those things that make you puff up your chest and think I have every right to be mad. So what if we never talk again. She wasn’t a real friend anyways. He wasn’t down for me. They were just some snakes. She just hating on me cause I moved up in life. And so on and so forth. When you’re so busy entertaining solutions and perspectives that feed your anger and grudge, when do you have the opportunity and awareness to hear the Lord when He’s trying to speak forgiveness to you? The Lord understands that we get angry, but He knows nothing good comes from holding onto it. He knows that it only gives the devil a foot in the door of your life and discernment.

God desires grace. He tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Matthew 5:23-24 speaks on this same theme of reconciling with your brothers before coming to Him, “Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.”

Look at Ephesians 4:32- “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Unforgiveness, a lack of mercy, a hardened heart, these are things very opposite to God’s character and so against the very foundation of His relationship with us, that He tells us that we should be making every effort to make it right with one another or come to Him for help in working it out. The Lord tells us in Luke 11:23, "Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters. When you are outside of the will, desire and character of God, He says that you are not with Him, progressing with Him. He promises to never leave us nor forsake us in Hebrews 13:5, and that He is always with us in Psalm 73:23.

But look, there are things we participate in throughout life and come into agreement with, that are the equivalent of placing on headphones and sunglasses while God is walking and talking with us. Things that are the equivalent of walking into dark and loud places with those sunglasses and headphones on. And what started off as a mere hum and slight dimming of interference in our ability to perceive the Lord throughout our circumstances, becomes a full on deaf and blindness. Sometimes we devote ourselves to things/entertain habits, mindsets, emotions, people, etc that cause us to lose track of the presence of the Lord. Though He is always with us, we lose the ability to hear and see Him as we devote ourselves to spending time in/with things that close off our connection to Him.

So, as we go to Him, the Lord is going to show us those places that need to be disowned, renounced and surrendered to Him. He’s taking the power we’ve given to the enemy back. But until we ask Him to reveal those places, we’ll stay in the dark. Legitimately. Anything outside of Him, is outside of light since He is Light. When we ask someone to “shed some light on the topic,” it’s because we need further understanding and clarification. We can’t get that if topics remain unexplained or improperly discussed. Just the same, we can’t expect to get the full spectrum of God’s illuminating clarity if there’s still parts of us that are serving up under shadows and darkness.

Mental Health

Now, this one is more so about stress and anxiety. Mental Health is a huge topic, and I am by no means an expert. So I won’t exactly be touching on the whole spectrum.

Just in regards to stress and anxiety, the Lord basically pointed to Himself as an example of a perfect mind and perfect mental health. His mind functions without flaw. In fact, His mind is so powerful and proper, that what He thinks, comes to pass.

Isaiah 14:24 “The Lord of hosts has sworn, saying, “Surely, as I have thought, so it shall come to pass.” Another verse discusses a concept kinda similar to that in humans, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7. For God, what He thinks-happens. For us, what we think in our hearts- which means whatever we devote our consistent attention to, whatever we believe and meditate on- so we are, so we become.

When we focus on stress, we become stressed. When we focus on lust, we become horny. When we think about food, we get hungry. When we concentrate on companionship/lack thereof, we feel lonely. When we harp on our inadequacies, we feel insecure. There are things that we are meditating on that are affecting how we think, feel, sleep, communicate, relate to others, learn, eat, work, date, relax, exercise, etc. There are ideas we have that control who we are, who we let in, what we do, etc. Things that are restricting, oppressive, harmful, debilitating, etc. There are thoughts and perspectives we weren’t designed and destined to agree with- lies the enemy wants us to feed off of.

So the Lord showed me that He wants to gives us His perspective, understanding, thoughts and truths about ourselves, our circumstances, our relationships, jobs, aspirations, troubles, etc. What we’ve been thinking about, harping on and meditating over are deteriorating our peace, joy, esteem, hope, and rest. So, the commission? Meet God where you’re at and pour out. Don’t try to put on by being extra holy, unbothered, super strong or grateful (cause I recently used to come to God as I felt I was supposed to, and not as I actually was). Let Him know you’re frustrated, stressed, down bad, wondering what the crap is going on, depressed, anxious, confused, hurt, feeling abandoned or forgotten, lost and cold. Let Him know you’re not sleeping well and having nightmares, that you can barely keep it straight during the day. Let Him know you cry all the time or that you want to even though you typically never do.

And understand that He knows every single thing you’re saying to Him already. This practice is rehearsing how to surrender to God. I know I keep using that word, but it’s important. How can He be your God, your Master, your Parent if you don’t relinquish control to Him? Letting everything out and being transparent is an exercise of trust and love. You coming to Him and being honest is saying, “I’m ready to be vulnerable, I’m admitting that I’m vulnerable and I need Your help. I need YOU, because I haven’t been enough. Even when I wish I was, I am just not enough to help myself like You can help me, God.”

And that brings me to another important area that was common in the prayer requests, and my last point:

Strength

This ties right into Discipline, because we try to practice discipline in our own strength. But simply put, we cannot get the job done and go through life in our own strength only. When we come to the end of ourselves, we reach the beginning of an infinite God with infinite strength, power, solutions, resources, wisdom, hope, joy and peace. Stop trying to be happy all by yourself. Stop trying to find and control your own peace. Jesus is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). He promises us rest (Hebrews 4), so let Him give it to you and help you. Moral of the story is: let Him lead and guide you, provide for and supply you, protect and stand by you.

Again, I know mental health is broad and gets preeetty complicated. So I’m not trying to minimize its issues. My point is, there are some things, like stress and forms of anxiety, that the Lord wants to heal you from in this season. And He wants to begin by replacing your toxic beliefs, those empty promises of can’t and won’t, and the discouraging lies that plague your every moment with His truth, His perspective, His promises and His decrees.

You are so much more than what your mind and the enemy tells you.

So from here on out, let’s just let God take the reigns of our discipline, discernment (clarity), minds, and strength. You know what. Let’s let Him take the reigns period. Jesus take the wheel, remember? Look at those pictures one more time. Soak it in, breathe and start surrendering. The God of miracles, signs, wonders and infinite universes can handle it. He made our universe, so He can maneuver yours.

#discernment #clarity #strength #discipline #stress #anxiety #God of the universe

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