#the things I do for treebark...

[calciumyum]

An Argument

"In the doorway holding every letter that I wrote In the driveway pulling away putting on your coat In the ocean washing off my name from your throat" -The Shrine/An Argument, Fleet Foxes

Unguided Hand lives rent-free in my head. Get him out of here PLEASE.

[loveyourhate]

Sweet Dreams

[featherf4lling]

build//burn -> ren helps build the fire while martyn burns a marshmallow

HIII i'm back. something quick and cute for today. didn't spend as much time on it as i did the past two but i still think its cute anyway so here. hands u this. maybe ill go back and redo it another day

[auriidae]

treebark! (for ask game :D)

THESE GUYS!!!!!!

i watched martyn's third life a whiiile ago and it wasn't my thing but i DO see how people are insane about them one hundred percent. their dynamic is insane holy crap

[kerrosin]

Treebark week 2024

6. picnic/garden/strawberries

[liloinkoink]

today i offer you a dramatic no context scene from the middle of a beauty and the beast au. tomorrow? who knows...

After the seventh time Ren falls asleep in with Martyn in his room, Ren gives him back his knife.

He’d taken it the day they met, along with all the other trinkets Martyn had been collecting since he first stepped foot in the castle. Martyn hadn’t understood the point, then—sure, take back everything he stole, but what is Martyn going to do with a knife? With deadly claws and a long reach, Ren could tear his throat out long before he could do anything with a dagger. Martyn wouldn’t even dream of being able to get close with his stupid knife. Why even bother taking it except to demoralize him even further?

Lying against Ren’s sleeping body, Martyn understands.

It would be easy, is the thing. Ren sleeps light, but he’s adjusted to having Martyn around. He’s no longer cracking his eye open every time Martyn shifts his legs, doesn’t raise his head whenever Martyn touches his side. He wouldn’t see it coming at all, and it would be his own fault for trusting a stranger to brush the dirt and knots out of his hair.

Ren is an idiot. Giving Martyn his dagger back will be the last thing he ever does.

Martyn sits up slowly, listening to the sound of Ren breathing. It doesn’t change, not even as Martyn pushes Ren’s tail out of his lap.

He always sleeps well on the nights Martyn is in here, doesn’t he? Might have something to do with how long he fights falling asleep, trying his best to talk to Martyn for as long as possible. Martyn is starting to recognize the signs of when he’s losing that fight—his eyes close, though he shakes his head to try to keep them open, to keep his gaze on Martyn as long as he can. His words start to trail off, no matter how desperately he struggles to keep up their conversation, until his words turn dreamlike, incomprehensible. The constant wagging of his tail slows to a gentle tap, then stops entirely.

Ren’s insistence on fighting off sleep has never made any sense to Martyn, either, but so few things about Ren do.

Not that it matters now, anyway.

Martyn turns, as slowly as possible, back toward Ren. Still, he doesn’t react, not even a twitch of his ear. He’s fast asleep, has no idea what’s coming for him.

Carefully, without breaking his stare, Martyn reaches for his dagger.

Ren hadn’t thought anything of Martyn setting it on the side table, in the place where the brush usually goes. Hadn’t thought anything of giving it to Martyn at all, the little blade held proudly between his teeth.

Maybe it had been a taunt—Just one of his own fangs had been the size of Martyn’s weapon. Martyn isn’t sure if he believes that, though.

Ren… doesn’t seem the type.

Ren is trusting. Far, far too trusting. Martyn had lasted one day, one day of Ren’s posturing, and the king had folded immediately to following him like a pup. Bringing his meals, assigning him easy tasks, accompanying him throughout the day, convincing him to rest when the sun sinks to the tree line, inviting Martyn to sleep at his side.

Martyn holds the dagger in his right hand, now, knuckles white around the hilt.

For a monster, Ren is naive. His eyes shine with joy as he stands at Martyn’s side, as though that’s something he should be happy about. Didn’t anyone ever tell him? There are things crueler than beasts running around these woods.

Martyn reaches out, slowly, with his left hand. He feels around Ren’s fur with his fingers, looking for Ren’s pulse. He feels it under his fingers, a steady rhythm. Martyn glances to Ren’s face—Still does nothing. There’s not even a flicker of his eyelids as Martyn feels for Ren’s ribs, finding the space between them.

It’s the smart thing to do. Martyn needs a safe place to stay, one where he won’t be found. This place is safe…ish, minus the beast whose mercy Martyn lives at. Ren may be kind for now, but the limits he places on Martyn’s freedoms are dangerous.

Martyn can’t eat, not properly, not when Ren can't cook and keeps him from the kitchen. Keeps him from the gardens, too, and the armory, and that keeps his strength in check. He’s constantly helping clean and repair the dusty, crumbling rooms, which gives him less energy to fight back. There’s a lot of this castle Martyn doesn’t know, and Ren has been here for years. Ren is powerful, and Martyn knows from running his hands through the fur that Ren is all muscle beneath the coat.

Martyn can’t leave. He can’t go home, and he has no one else to hide with. He needs this castle. He needs this place, all of it. Ren stands between him and the perfect haven.

And Ren, fool that he is, has given Martyn a knife.

Martyn draws his hand back, away from Ren’s heart. Both hands close around the dagger’s hilt. He'll never need to worry about a thing again, so long as he buries it up to the guard.

Martyn raises his weapon high above his head. In the faint light of the moon, the blade glows a dim, cold white.

Martyn is calm as he holds the blade in the air. His breathing is silent, mouth set into a firm line. His eyes are steely sharp, zeroed in on the space between Ren’s ribs. It’s basically black, dark fur hidden by the shadow of Ren’s legs, where Ren is curled around himself. He'd be curled up entirely into himself, hiding his heart and every other vital thing, if it weren't for the fact he left space for Martyn to lean against him.

Martyn, fool that he is, takes a glance at Ren’s face.

Ren looks content. His snout lies in the square of light from the window, gently illuminated against the white sheets, soaking in the midnight moonlight. In the still of the night, Martyn can see clearly his soft breathing. If Martyn had to guess, he would say Ren isn’t even dreaming, at a sort of peace second only to that found by the dead.

Not that Ren’s death will be peaceful. It will be fast, sure—he’ll be dead before the stain of his own blood sullies his snout, but bleed he will. Will he be able to move, Martyn wonders? Should Martyn be prepared to dodge? Or will Ren’s body continue to hold as if to fit him, even in death?

Will he even have time to know who killed him?

Martyn hadn’t understood the point of taking his knife. The weapon is too close, too personal—he’d never get a chance to use it, not before Ren could stop him, not unless Ren was an idiot.

Will Ren have time to open his eyes? He’ll see Martyn immediately. He’ll know what Martyn has done, what Ren has allowed him to do so very easily. Even as quickly as Ren will die, he will know what Martyn has done. He’ll understand his mistake.

Knives are personal like that.

Personal enough Martyn knows that he’ll see Ren’s eyes, when they open. Martyn himself will know, intimately, the exact moment Ren understands what Martyn has done.

Ren’s eyes, when he’s happy, seem to glow. It counters the fact he can’t smile without looking like a monster, the way they shine with the light of the sun. What will they look like, in the dim glow of the moon, as that light fades? Will it die with him? Or will it go just a beat too soon, in the moment Ren understands what Martyn has done to him?

If Ren opened his eyes now, what would he see?

Martyn holds the knife above his head, though he does not manage to keep it very high. He frowns, biting his lip on the inside of his mouth. His eyes are wide with a growing, pleading horror.

The only thing that stops Martyn from slamming the knife back down onto the nightstand is the fear Ren will hear it.

Tomorrow, Martyn will take Ren’s face into both of his own and scratch every spot he knows Ren likes, listening to his laugh and to the way his tail thumps against the bed. He’ll move to Ren’s back when the weight of Ren’s eyes starts to crush him, running his nails up and down along Ren’s spine, keeping his hands from following Ren’s ribs too far down. Ren will laugh, will relax, will sigh and roll so that Martyn can more easily access his stomach, and Martyn will feel so suddenly and violently ill that he has to leave the room.

Tomorrow, Martyn will duck away the moment he’s able, taking the mop and bucket to the worst, dirtiest, most disgusting corner of the castle he can find, and he'll scrub away like it will clear red-black shadows from the back of his mind. He’ll wave Ren off once, twice, three times, shooing away his food and his company, up until all the blood is gone and there’s nothing left to clean.

Tonight, Martyn settles back into the space Ren makes for him at his side. He pulls Ren’s tail back across his lap, and notices, not for the first time, how perfectly he fits.

[myst3ry-pl4nt]

i'm definitely going to draw more ship art with Grian, especially gritho because im on my fifth ask for it 💀 ...

but what other ships would you want me to draw? it does not have to exclusively be Grian ships !! if you use shipnames please like say who it is bc ngl i didnt know redscape was the ship name for Mumbo and Scar until earlier this week...

basically asking for ship submissions to draw... im also chill with non ship submissions and just like random ass doodles too 🫡

[liauditore]

Thought I might say hello and make some small talk, seeing that I'm camping on your trafficshipping tag and all.

Well hi! Lovely place you've got here. Fantastic art, GREAT vibes, very nice. I'm specially enjoying your character rambling; your takes on them are super interesting and they tickle my brain 👀

May I send Divorce Fource/Quartet and Majorwood for the shipping bingo? Divorce Fource were a right mess (affectionate <3) and a perfect one at that, but I can't help but wonder how the recipe would have turned out if the soul ties were Cleo-Pearl, Martyn-Scott.

Also there is so much potential in Limlife Majorwood for eroguro if you're nasty. Which I am. Time cannibalism, respawning mechanics, birthday time... blender go brrrr 👀

!!!!!!!

y'all are really enabling my habit of long ass posts huh 😭😭

OK SO first off thankyou so much?? thats so sweet?????? 😭😭 i really don't think my character ramblings are anything special, but i like reading other ppls insane takes so i thought i'd provide others with the same 👍

not to get too into it but i feel like a series like life smp is best enjoyed with your own crazy delulu takes (similar to touhou if anyone heres familiar w/ that fandom). and it makes me kinda sad to see ppl arguing abt whats 'canon' or 'correct' cus that's no fun lol

ANYWAY yeah uh im glad u like the vibes!! :J

TREEBARK

this one first cus chronology. I honestly don't know if there's anything I can say here that hasn't been said before? But yeah they're. tasty. something about martyn waiting the entirety of third life to betray ren and never getting the chance and now longing to have him back. lots of regret but regret. for what. yknow. and ren always looking out for martyn even from a distance. and then martyn losing that connection in limlife.

yeah i can see why people ship lmao

uhh i don't really know what else to write here so have some of my insane ramblings copy+pasted from my shipping doc 👍

Martyn fancies himself a schemer, someone who's not afraid to play the game the way it's intended. If that means earning a powerful ally's trust only to shatter it then he was going to do it. Only, Martyn's bark is worse than his bite, and every night he spends in lying awake in those soft, warm sheets that Ren had laid out just for him (freshly washed too, he might add. Smelled like sunshine) he wonders if he can do it. He can, of course. (he can't. he won't. he's too soft. soft and useless.) He'd cut his head off already. (he wants to vomit) (this is why no one needs you. wants you. loves you) Who cares about other people anyway? He is the only one who really matters. (the thought of being alone makes him want to cry) Ren, on the other hand, is a capable leader. The definition of loyal and dependable, if not a bit dramatic. He struggles with self-worth, being good enough, useful enough, powerful enough. But to others, he's the opposite, caring and protective of any who would ask for his aid. After all, every citizen deserves to live in safety and comfort, and providing that is what a good King would do. ~ Martyn's not as sneaky as he thinks he is. Ren knows. Ren sees the signs. It's a death game for a reason. But he doesn't let Martyn know. He doesn't even hold it against him. He doesn't see the bloodthirst anymore, only the broken pieces lying underneath. ~ or the King's Hand, it was the thrill of feeling Useful, Powerful, Feared (loved). He was going to miss it after he betrayed him, the high of bloodlust, the smell in the air as he charged into battle. (the way his hands held him so gently) For the King himself, deep down he knew it was never to be. He had met a monster, but he hoped his efforts calmed the storm ever so slightly. On some days, he pretends to forget about the death game entirely and imagines the speech he'd give to retire his Hand. "You don't have to fight anymore," he'd say, "I'll take care of you from now on, I promise. So put the sword down, okay?" But in the end, it was all a fantasy, wasn't it?

^ yes this is so cheesy but so are they.

Cry with me again Smile with me again Scream with me again Sing with me again Dance with me again Talk to me again…

"Lower One's Eyes" (Oktavia translyrics)

MAJORWOOD

I think.. I talk too much abt scott seeing as that's who everyone points out when it comes to my headcanons 😭😭 but uh i swear everyone else is just as messed up. and martyn is like. just as bad if not worse (if that wasn't made clear from my ramblings before)

anyway uh say it with me rebound 👏 relationship 👏

i think they're both.. very numb to it all once limlife rolls around. they're just tired and have this mutual understanding and both think they're horrible people. martyn just wants to play the game. scott doesn't even know what he wants anymore.

but ofc, they're both still human and want love and comfort, so they try to seek that from one another. even if it's fake. even if it doesn't matter in the end.

Baby, though I've closed my eyes I know who you pretend I am I know who you pretend I am

Washing Machine Heart (Mitski)

We’re the Delusioned Victim Cash-in Union Praise to the “love” that will bring salvation!  Two fools singing to a shallow melody Restart, reflation, teleportation Time and again we’re stuck in rotation Circles inside a love without any ending

MKDR (SirHamnet Lyrics)

Scott uses Martyn as a replacement for Jimmy and Martyn uses Scott as a replacement for Ren. they know they dislike eachother (see: all of double life) and that only one of them will make it out alive. but they can't get that love and comfort from anyone else now.

also uhhh eroguro my beloved...... im assuming this is getting brought up cus of my mentions of loving eroguro in the past. and yes to all of that very much i agree. but i do have kind of.. a limit to what i do w/ these characters specifically because of the fandom/ccs (at least publicly). if i ever do decide to share the nastier stuff in my head or go into detail on gore and whatnot i'd probs make a sideblog and tuck it away and maybe block scott and martyn for always somehow showing up on my posts lmao

[phosphorus-noodles]

hi i’m back and i have questions about toh ren <3

is he more like the modern version of werewolves where when he turns he’s just a regular wolf with human intelligence, or is he like a traditional werewolf (anthropomorphized wolf)? i’m leaning more towards the latter since when eda transformed into the owl beast she still looked like herself somewhat. maybe when he’s transformed he can walk on four legs and two legs. like a bear

- declawed anon

definitely closer to traditional!! he's basically the wolf version of the owl beast yeah <3

not sure if he's just Like That or was cursed or turned somehow or if there's then like, the Wolf in his brain that he has to then reconcile with to manage transformations and whatnot, but he does overall manage it pretty well

that being said i think the most important thing here is that when he is in the Beast Form martyn is very much like this:

[martynsimp69]

Are you a fello bigslab shipper

late 2 answer this bc ive been so busy and i wanted to write up a whole thing abt the post bu the tl;dr is that i got invested in bigslab bc of an au with my partners that involves them with a rly fun dynamic. i just havent seen it anywehre else but now im like dang. i should rotate them more

[calciumyum]

Blindsided fan comic

Read Blindsided on AO3 NOW!!! AU written by @driflew and @cherrifire :]

[mosscloakenthusiast]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood/Rendog, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Jimmy | Solidarity/Scott | Smajor1995 | Dangthatsalongname, Charles | Grian/Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar Characters: Martyn Littlewood | InTheLittleWood, Rendog (Video Blogging RPF), Charles | Grian, Scott Major | Smajor1995, Jimmy | Solidarity, Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar Additional Tags: homoerotic beheading, Mutual Pining, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, ??? - Freeform, adding things to canon that werent shown onscreen, and changing events a little bit, vague description of violence, Ficlet Summary:

It’s hard to give your Hand orders when you’re hopelessly in love with him, Ren realises.

Martyn swiftly discovers that it’s hard to kill your King when you can’t stop looking at his lips when he’s talking

-----

Very Gay retelling of Ren's beheading

[featherf4lling]

DIVINE // INFERNAL : the fall of the king angel

DAY 4 OF TREEBARK WEEKKKK ohhhh my god this took so long i truly went insane while making this /pos and im SO HAPPY WITH THE END RESULT i wish i had time to color it rn

this isn’t an au i had before this prompt but like Man ,,, ren fallen angel… hear me out. Are you hearing . Are you

[imalazypandaaa]

This is genuinely the most annoying thing ever.

This and people in Grian’s comments criticizing the way he put the series together. Like- be glad he’s doing it AT ALL! He doesn’t have to. It’s stupid for people to get upset over people pairing together because they’re friends. Stop criticizing their every move. Calling back to the original post, the people saying it’s “boring” for Grian and Scar to team up or that Pearl teaming with people she already has don’t complain about Mumbo and Grian, they don’t complain about Treebark. Hell! Even Etho and Bdubs who team almost all the time. Nobody has an issue with that. It’s stupid. Just let them play the game gosh dang it! They should be able to team with whoever they want to team with without being criticized.

The comments I saw on Grian’s video were admittedly kinder than others.

But still. Gosh. There’s no reason anybody should have a problem with any of it. Wouldn’t it be “worse” if they didn’t do the Life Series at all? How far do you need to push them before they stop?

Thank you for your time<3

[celestial-clownz]

I’m going to become a modern Socrate with you (/silly) it is really tragic how people don’t do more with them considering their character like Scott’s brand vs his personality is like the when you learn the general cutsey unicorn mermaid ( this is his brand) idea of mythos was gentrification for marketing and they can actually get really gruesome and insane (his personality) like that is the best analogy I can think of him. He is yuor angle or yuor devil. Sweet kind sassy gay man but he can and will say and do evil things to you. And Martyn on the other hand is just literally so big dog codded. He has his set people he sticks with that are his and he gets possessive. He’ll kill for them but when the time comes he’s not afraid to, as my friend rose has said, treat them as equals and have a fair fight with them. And they know this, but even after that he still holds them near and dear. And a lot of people think Martyn gets remorseful over that but he doesn’t. It never made sense to me, hes a guy who’s getting kicked and tortured around by gods yes, but he’s also out for blood.  in the same light Martyn is also a dork loser (affectionate) The thing about Scott and Martyn though is that they’re both loyal in different ways but it just works so well together too. Like I’ll never get over how Scott let Martyn kill him because he didn’t want anyone else to have his time. And then when Scott was talking about Martyns birthday party with him (important to add HE KNEW WHEN HIS BIRTHDAY ON THE ACTUAL DATE  AND NONE OF THE OTHERS DID) he was like “Scott could I please kill you it’s my birthday 🥺” he loves it. He loves it sooooo much because he’s a freak. And it was so pathetic and sad what’s wrong with him. but also Scott’s the one who’d put himself up on the chopping block for him and let Martyn kill him. That is their love. That invented love. And Scott has said he’d would even wanna pair up with him again and again in later series if he didn’t have his allies. In contrast to how flower husbands said they weren’t coming back. They are both just able to be their craziest around each other!!! But GRAAAAHHH I DONT SEE MANY PPL USE STUFF WITH IT. HELL I KNOW SCOTT AND MARTYN  ARE EVEN MORE ABNORMAL IN OTHER SMPS. I know the mcyt loves cannibalism but Yknow I’ve only seen ONE FIC where they cannibalize each other AND THAT WAS THE MOST INSANE THING IVE SEEN WITH THEM SO FAR AND ?? IT COULD BE SO MUCH MORE INSANE?? PLEASE MAKE THWM WORSE GUYS PLEASEEEEE LET ME OUT OF THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE IT CAN BE SO MICH WORSE THAN CANNLIBLISM

Anyways I had more to say but I’m jsut sososos not normal 

I think we should have Martyn and Scott be more insane

[liloinkoink]

For lamplight treebark requests, how about some sleepy cuddles from Rens POV? Could be either Rens still a fire and tucks himself into martyn while he sleeps, or hes got his body back and can cuddle him properly?

this is only loosely following this prompt, but it IS something i’ve had in mind for a bit, so. hope it’s still fun!

Ren doesn’t sleep.

He can, but he doesn’t have to. He spent too much time sleeping when Dogwarts fell, spent days to weeks to months dreaming of people and places he would never have again.

It had been comforting then, but these days, it scares him. Nothing unsettles Ren more than the idea of losing himself to sleep.

He isn't locked away in some little basement anymore. Ren no longer has nothing to lose.

So Ren doesn’t sleep—he wouldn’t dare.

—

Ren makes good on this personal oath for some time. It’s easy to stay awake when Ren is incapable of closing his eyes, to keep his energy up when energy is all Ren is.

Having a body is… far more exhausting than Ren remembered.

He tells Martyn as much, and Martyn only laughs at him.

"Sorry, Ren. Not all of us can be balls of inextinguishable fire," Martyn says, "Though hey, I still have the lantern if you want to switch back."

"No, I think I’ll pass," Ren says, and he sighs, closing his eyes. "But I’m beat, dude. Which means we aren’t going anywhere for the rest of the day."

"Shame," Martyn says, but he’s already sitting down, cross-legged at his god’s side. It’s not like they have anywhere to be, after all, and he’s getting used to the breaks his god needs. "I really should have picked up an instrument the last time we were in town. I thought about it, but it totally slipped my mind."

"Oh, right. You said something about that the first day, didn’t you? The Watchers took your lute," Ren says, and Martyn nods.

"Yeah. Sucks, cuz those are great for nights where you don’t plan to do much. I could’ve played something for you," Martyn says, and he leans his elbows onto his knees, propping his face above Ren’s. Martyn casts a shadow over his god’s face, blocking the fading evening sunlight from blinding him.

"I would have liked that," Ren says, "Your singing voice isn’t terrible, either, instrument or no. I’ve been impressed since the first time I heard it."

"The first… oh, that was the first few days, wasn’t it? Right outside of Dogwarts?" Martyn asks. When Ren nods, Martyn scoffs. "Your standards need work, mi’lord, because I was really struggling to even hold a tune."

"It was the first time I’d heard music since my city was lost. Twenty years of solitude and ten years of silence, and then you carried me out and sang for me," Ren says, "I liked it."

"If I’d known it was your first song in two decades, I might’ve tried harder," Martyn says.

Ren cracks one eye open, frowning.

"Only ‘might’ve?’"

"I was pretty tired, man. I’ll make no promises."

Ren snickers, closing his eye again. He really is tired, as much as he hates to admit it—If he's not careful, he's going to fall asleep. He'll take another moment, and then he swears he'll get up. "I’m starting to see what you meant about being an awful paladin."

"Hey! At least I was up front about it. You’re the idiot who accepted my oath," Martyn says, "Twice, even! You had two whole chances to get rid of me and you didn’t."

Ren laughs, and with that he opens his eyes, pushing up onto his elbows. Martyn leans back to avoid being head-butted, though he doesn’t move terribly far.

"What’s up? Hear something?" Martyn asks. Ren leans his head back to meet Martyn’s eyes—he could sit the rest of the way up and turn around, but he doesn’t quite have it in him to give up on lying down yet. Martyn’s watching him with open amusement, making barely any effort to stop himself from laughing at his god’s strange posture. "What are you doing?"

"I’m just getting up so I can take watch," Ren says, "You should get some rest, dude. We’ve been walking basically all day."

"I’m used to walking for much longer, so I’m fine," Martyn says, "Besides, you seem to need the rest a lot more than I do."

"Gods don’t actually need to sleep, you know."

"Sure, sure. And that’s why you never sleep, right?" Martyn asks, and Ren’s stomach drops.

"…What?"

"Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You haven’t slept since you got your body back," Martyn folds his arms, leaning back. "You’re not exactly subtle. It’s one thing to take watch all night basically every time we sleep outside—I can accept that as a safety thing. But you don’t sleep at inns, either. You always go buy some book every time we get to a new town. You’ll sit up and claim you’re just going to read a bit before bed, and then when I wake up the next morning and you’re still reading it, a candle burnt to a stump on the nightstand beside you."

"I— Okay. So I haven’t been sleeping," Ren admits, folding immediately under scrutiny, "But I don’t need to."

"You clearly do, though. God or not, you’re tired," Martyn shrugs, "Or, no. Even if you don’t need to, you’re tired. Sleeping will be good for you."

"I don’t need to sleep," Ren insists, ignoring him entirely. He rolls over onto his stomach, pushing up to sit across from Martyn. "You do, though. I’m not— I won’t sleep all night and leave you to stay awake the whole time. You’ll just be exhausted instead."

"I never said it would be all night. I used to sleep in shifts all the time when I was with my party," Martyn says, "Sleeping the whole night away when you travel is a luxury, not the norm. I’m fine to sleep for only half the night."

"But—"

"No offense, mi’lord, but if you’re too tired to walk, then you’re too tired to fight," Martyn says, "Just take a nap, Ren."

Ren frowns. If he’s honest, he doesn’t want to sleep. Even thinking about it has Ren's stomach turning.

The last time Ren slept consistently, he was sleeping far more than he was awake. For every minute Ren was conscious, there was a week where Ren wasn't. When he'd first heard Martyn speak of the fall of Dogwarts, Ren had been shocked to learn his city had fallen twenty years ago—the amount of time he'd slept had made it feel so much more recent.

Honestly, Ren doesn't even know how to begin to process how many years he lost to the cold comfort of oblivion.

How much more time can Ren stand to lose?

On some level, Ren knows it's because there had been nothing else to do, locked in that basement or left to sit in the street, rotting in his own grief. If he hadn't been sleeping that time off—if Ren had been conscious, cognizant of all ten million minutes—he would surely have lost his mind.

Still, though, fear is a persistent thing, so very good at keeping any exhausted heart racing through all hours of the night. What if that's not all it was? Gods live for centuries, or they're supposed to. Ren's a hundred-something years old already—What if spending so long as a god messed with his ability to sleep?

It's irrational. Some part of Ren is aware of it, sure, but it's not what scares him the most about sleeping.

"What's actually going on?" Martyn asks, "You wouldn't be so against this if it wasn't for a good reason."

Ren's shoulders sag. He looks down, fingers curling into the grass.

No, it's not the sleeping he's afraid of. What he's afraid of is how much can happen in a month, in a week, in even a single evening.

How long would he sleep for? What if he didn't wake up? Would Martyn be willing to wait for him?

What if something happened to Martyn? What if Martyn got tired of waiting for him to wake and left?

What would Ren do if he woke up alone?

Ren can't lose this. He won't, not if he can help it. There is no universe where Ren risks this for something as stupid and selfish as sleep.

"What if," Ren asks, "I don't wake up?"

"...What?"

"What if I don't wake up?" Ren repeats, looking up. "I used to sleep for— time was hard, especially in that basement, but I think sometimes I'd sleep for months. What if I go to sleep and I can't wake up again?"

"Woah, hey! Ren, it's fine," Martyn raises his hands, leaning a bit forward. Ren stops, expectant, "What are you, a bear? Since when do dogs hibernate?"

"Very funny," Ren mutters. His mouth pulls at a smile, but he's too worried to find much humor in Martyn's jokes. This has never stopped Martyn from making them, and it doesn't keep him from continuing.

"So what if you sleep a few months? I'll find us an inn or something—if you're hibernating, maybe I should find us a cave?—and then—"

"No! No, that's— I'm not sleeping that long. I'm not sleeping."

Ren glares at Martyn, daring him to argue. It's not often Ren pulls rank, but he considers it now, however briefly, just to get Martyn to drop it. He only holds up his hands, leaning back.

"Alright, alright," Martyn says, and his hands fall into his lap.

For a moment, neither of them do anything. Martyn watches the space to the left of Ren's head, and Ren knows that look enough to realize the gears are turning in Martyn's head.

"Hey, could you come here a moment?"

Ren blinks, but he obliges, crawling over to sit just in front of Martyn.

"I can't make you sleep," Martyn says, "but as your paladin, it's my duty to take care of you."

"I distinctly remember you pointedly avoiding saying anything of that sort in your oath," Ren says, without any real bite. Martyn ignores him.

"Can you hand me the bedroll?" Martyn asks, pointing to his pack a bit away. When Ren retrieves it, Martyn lies it out in front of himself. He pats the bedding in front of him, "Sit here? Back to me."

Ren does as he's asked. He glances back over his shoulder, but whatever Martyn's trying to trick him into, he isn't giving up on it yet.

"Humor me a moment?" Martyn asks.

"I'm already humoring you," Ren says, which isn't a no. Martyn laughs under his breath.

"Of course, mi'lord," Martyn agrees, "Lean back?"

Again, Ren does as he's asked. Once he's far enough back, Martyn's hands catch him, guiding him to lie down on his back, his head in Martyn's lap.

"Comfortable?" Martyn asks, and Ren is very aware of every inch of his body which touches Martyn. He always is, now that he can feel it—twenty years numb have made every touch extraordinary, and the the novelty is far from wearing off. All Ren can do is notice every shift of Martyn's legs below his head, or where his shoulders brush against Martyn's shins. Martyn's hands settle on either side of his face, thumbs resting below Ren's eyes. His hands are cold—compared to Ren, they always are—but Ren has come to find even that comforting, especially as Martyn rubs little circles into his cheeks.

"Yeah," Ren admits, and Martyn grins.

"I'm not asking you to sleep," Martyn reiterates, "But rest for a while, at least. You can't run on empty forever. If nothing else, relax for a bit so I know you won't, like, pass out in the street or a battle or something."

That makes Ren laugh, especially as Martyn continues, "I'm serious, Ren, if you pass out in the middle of some monster fight because you decided not to rest for several months, I am not helping you. I'm just going to let that monster's eat you and you'll have to sort out how to deal with that yourself."

"Okay, okay, I hear you," Ren says. Martyn nods, opening his mouth to say something smug, probably, and Ren holds up one finger. "I have one condition, though."

"What's the condition?"

"You have to promise to wake me if I fall asleep," Ren says, "Not tomorrow morning, either—wake me up for watch later tonight. You need to sleep, too."

"Are you kidding me? Obviously I'll wake you. There's no way I am staying up all night. With a face like mine, I need all the beauty sleep I can get," Martyn says, smiling a bit wider as Ren laughs. "You're not sleeping a moment past the end of my watch, dude."

"You swear you'll wake me?"

"At any cost," Martyn agrees, "The last time Tim tried to oversleep, me and Grian nearly threw him into a pond. No way you sleep for months as long as I'm here."

"I'm starting to see a theme with you," Ren says.

"What can I say? It's worked out for me so far," Martyn says, and then he moves one hand off Ren's cheek, covering his eyes. "No more stalling. You're only sleeping half the night, and you've been awake for far too long. Get some rest, Ren."

Ren allows his eyes to shut under Martyn's touch, aware of even the brush of his lashes against the inside of Martyn's palm and the underside of Martyn's fingers. He reaches up, latching onto Martyn's wrist with one hand.

"What will you do if I keep sleeping?" Ren asks, "Even after you've, like, dropped me in another river."

"What do you mean?"

"If I sleep for the next few weeks. If I sleep for a year," Ren ventures, keeping Martyn's hand over his eyes, "What will you do? Will you still be here when I wake up?"

"Depends," Martyn says, "Do you think your back will recover if you sleep on the ground for a year, or should I move you to a bed? Because I don't really want to sit in the dirt for a year, if I'm honest."

Ren laughs, "I should probably move to a bed, huh?"

"Then no, I won't be here. I'll move you somewhere that won't kill your back, and we'll stay there for a year," Martyn says, "Does that sound alright to you?"

"I can agree to that."