#the things I bought are described as sting-y and mean :))

[rad-bitch-sad-bitch]

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[thebadboyfanclub]

The Sun And Moon (Pete Davidson x Reader)

Heyyyyyy besties! So I'm back with another white boy of the month. I would like to warn you that this will be mentioning Pete's BPD and the reader will be mentioned as somebody that has had traumatic experiences however i am not mentioning what does that imply so don't worry about it. Other than that I hope you enjoy!

Being with Pete was almost a gift and a curse, you were so different yet so alike. The ultimate example of twinflames, the yin and yang. If someone had to describe what you two were like was that (y/n) was like the sun, a warm personality with kindness and such just overall this untouchable beauty from inside and out, also she adores to be under the sun, Pete sometimes found her as she laid on the floor next to her cat just so she can enjoy the warm rays, sometimes she would have her crystals (Pete called them "magic rocks") which Pete found so adorable, also as the weather got warmer she got happier.

Pete was the moon, a little bit more moody, mysterious, yet alluring, he intrigued anyone that was around him. Unlike (y/n) Pete was a night owl, he liked late night drives, staying up all night just smoking weed and watching movies, he liked the silence that the nightfall brought, he felt more at peace with the idea of relaxing and enjoying the darkness that others feared. Many times (y/n) woke up in the middle of the night and found him on her balcony, just sitting there and enjoying the view.

People around them brought up that comparison so much that they even got it as a couples tattoo, (y/n) got the sun behind her ear and Pete got the moon on his left middle finger cause he found it funny. However the curse was that they had to learn how to be around one another, yes they had similarities but they weren't quite the same situations.

Pete was a comedian, (y/n) was an author, both of them had to sometimes sit their ass down and think of something to write, but the circumstances were different. 

"Baby I'm here"

Pete said as he shut the door of (y/n)'s apartment, dropping his pair of keys on the bowl that she had conveniently placed on a piece of furniture right next to her front door. Pete waited for an answer while taking off his shoes, (y/n) liked structure and she was a very neat person, another thing Pete had to learn, he wasn't dirty but he was a tad bit of messy so when he was at her apartment (which basically had become his also) he was careful with how he did things.

Silence greeted him back, he sucked in his teeth as he realized exactly why this was happening. (Y/n) had mentioned that she was writing the second book of her fantasy novel and she was in a bit of a writer's block, she had so many fresh ideas however when it came to writing them down sometimes her mind just wouldn't co operate and she just couldn't get it down in a way that she found right. He left the take out food on the small coffee table and continued to walk towards her bedroom. 

There she was, slightly laying back on her leather chair with her laptop in front of her, just staring at her screen and occasionally pressing a few buttons. The door was somewhat open so he could take a good look at her, her hair was down, she was wearing some shorts and a t-shirt she had accidentally spilled bleach on so now it was a house shirt and no socks, she hated wearing socks. Pete knocked on the semi closed door to get her attention.

"Oh I didn't hear you come in"

"I figured, what are you doing here babe?"

"Regretting my decision on signing the contract for a second book"

She mumbled when Pete approached her and leaned down to press several kisses on her neck and cheeks. (Y/n) smiled and enjoyed the feeling of comfort he brought her before shaking her head and pulling away from him.

"I need to finish this chapter"

"What you need to do is eat, I'm pretty sure you skipped breakfast"

She knew he was right, that's why she didn't respond so she just kept on staring at her laptop screen, hoping that miraculously an idea will come to her head. She deeply appreciated his concern but she felt the pressure of her publicist that called everyday to ask about the book, today was one of the few days she chose to not pick up the phone. Pete once again was met with silence although that didn't stop him from placing his hands on her shoulders to give her a massage.

"Come on sunshine, you can take a break and clear your head"

"Pete I have to write thousands of pages in a short amount of time, it's not just fucking punchlines"

Pete's face made a sour expression at her jab. It did sting a little bit yet he tried to understand that she was just overwhelmed with the responsibility of delivering on time. He took a deep breath before patting her on the head and turning away from her.

"I'll be in the living room"

For some time she felt relieved that he left so she could refocus, however after a few moments when she started to see her reflection on the screen she started to realize what she had done which was awful. She felt so bad that she had to shut down the screen and close her laptop so she wouldn't look at herself, she spoke in such a disregarding manner that she felt disgusted. With tears already clouding her eyes she got up and found Pete watching TV, the take out in front of him and it didn't take long for her to notice that he had bought her favorite making her feel even worse. She stood in front of the TV and Pete looked in her eyes and smiled.

"I'm sorry"

Her voice breaks in the middle of the sentence. Pete's smiled dropped when he saw a year escaping and heard her whimpering voice, he immediately got up from the couch and went to hug her.

"Its okay sunshine"

"No it's not, I didn't mean it I swear"

"I know baby"

"I'm just so… stressed"

She said and let herself relax in his arms as she wrapped hers around his torso, feeling the warmth of his engulf her. His scent went to her nose making her feel safe in his arms as the tears stained his sweatshirt. Pete started rubbing her back to help her let out her emotions, he knew how emotional (y/n) was and he found it cute how she feels like cry no matter what the situation was, she had happy tears, angry tears, sad tears, she saw a dog tears, attending a wedding tears, he didn't mind it though on the contrary he liked that she was able to express her emotions with no fear.

"I understand baby, it did sting a bit though, you know how much I love my work"

"I know, I wasn't thinking when I said it which is wrong"

They had agreed that they wouldn't do the "it's ok" type of shit, they preferred to actually say when something either hurt them or bothered them so they can have clear boundaries with one another, it was one of the best decisions they could have ever made, it was one of the strongest foundations they had for their relationship. (Y/n) looked at him and Pete immediately went to wipe her tears, before pressing a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry"

"I accept your apology. Are you feeling better now?"

"A little bit. Thank you for forgiving me and I will try to do my best to not repeat that behavior"

She responded, her voice now was more steady and clear.  Setting boundaries between them and being clear about the behavior that is acceptable was something they had established early in the relationship, Pete was diagnosed with BPD and (y/n) had trauma from past experiences so they had agreed to see a couple's therapist in order for them to move on with their relationship in a healthy manner, so things like "it's ok" or "you know I didn't mean it that way" were unacceptable, taking accountability for their actions and having the humility to apologize was their key to success.

Pete's smile reappeared and now gave her a kiss on her lips, making (y/n) get a bit of a shiver down her spine. Their kisses always felt so strong, like energy passing through one to the other, it was such a magical experience to them.

"Are we good?"

"Yes, now take a seat and I'll microwave your food"

"Wow, Gordon Ramsey would be so proud of you"

[hyunnows]

love, [Y/N] | jjk

► PAIRING: Jungkook x reader

► CONTENT/WARNINGS: angst, mentions of fluffy memories, mc death, lots of Jungkook tears, best friends!au, mentions of unrequited love

► WORD COUNT: 2k+

► RATING: pg13

► SUMMARY: "It’s not fair that he was holding the last of you in his hands, unable to focus on anything other than the last words he’ll ever receive from you."

↳ A/N: I got this idea at 2:36 am and I don't know where it came from but oh well. This was meant to be a 300-word blurb and we ended up at 2k lol. I haven't written anything for Jungkook compared to Tae, and honestly, this maknae has been climbing my bias list so here's a semi-self-indulgent fic filled with angst and crying! I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to leave feedback and reblog! Also, STREAM BUTTER!

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Shaking with fear, Jungkook gripped your hand tightly, tears pouring out his red eyes as your patient monitor fluctuated slightly. With a quivering lip, he croaks, “C'mon [Y/N], wake up. For me? Please…”

He feels your small fingers squeeze his own gently, weakly, and hope beams across his face. But just as soon as the hope had come, it vanished, your paling fingers going stiff in his palm. The once steady beeping now a quickly accelerating sequence, the sound ringing in the brunet boy's ears as his eyes go wide and breath cuts short.

He feels the nurses pull at him, trying to drag him out the room and he thrashes against them, his nails digging into your hospital bed with all their might until his knuckles turn white and his vision blurs. Loud sobs rack through his body as he slumps in the nurses’ arms, pressing the balls of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears and the burning. His cries almost choke him, the occasional cough jerking his body harshly.

When he sees the familiar face of the doctor, he prays that the downcast gaze and frown don't mean what he thinks.

“[L/N] [Y/N],” Seokjin takes a breath, his own eyes beginning to water at the words he's about to utter, “time of death: 2 am… I'm sorry Jungkook. I did everything, I-I tried every voltage and pumped her with liquids a-and everything I could d-do—I couldn't save her. I'm so—so sorry.”

It's like his entire world has crumbled in a second. His arms and chest are suddenly heavy, his lips, throat, and face feel dry and dehydrated, and his eyes can't decide if they want to be open or closed because of the stinging sensation they feel when he tries either. Sitting on the floor in front of your room, he takes the hand Jin outstretched and wobbles inside, only to fall back down the moment he sees your dull figure.

He doesn't care that a small crowd can see him babbling incoherently as he tries to apologize to you through his sniffles and whimper, crawling to your hand and lacing his fingers through yours.

Eventually, Taehyung and Jimin pick him up and drag him out of the building you took your last breath in. Jungkook didn't try to resist, knowing he was in no shape to put up a fight or drive himself home. He needed to get out of there anyway, the smell of death only he could detect suffocating him slowly.

On his way upstairs, Taehyung holds him back, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a short stack of envelopes—maybe two or three—rubber-banded together and hands them to the younger. “Her first day in the ER, she m-made me promise to give you these if she—if she… You know…”

Hearing they were yours, he takes them gently and swiftly, immediately holding them close as if they were his lifeline. He gives Taehyung a silent, stiff nod before turning and dragging himself to his room.

He doesn't open them right away, taking his time to admire your adorable calligraphy and observing every smudge or erased pencil mark you'd left on their light material.

He's not surprised to find every letter addressed to him, because it wouldn't be the first time you two had given each other messages the old-fashioned way, and he smiled softly at the “before you read” attached to the first envelope.

If you're not Jeon Jungkook, please don't read these. If you are, know that I'm still with you, in these letters, in your heart, our memories and that I will always be here, even though I'm sorry I can't physically be here with you right now. These are letters I've written to you, but never sent. They're from the bottom of my heart and they say everything I've ever wanted to tell you.

—[Y/N]

His heart beats harder as he opens the first letter, doing his best not to tear the envelope and keep it perfectly intact for him to save.

There are two Polaroids safety-pinned to the letter, both with his face and yours smiling brightly at each other. He gently unclips them, tucking them safely into the [Y/N]-specially decorated sleeve. He breathes in deeply and unfolds the letter, immediately tearing up at your handwriting on the wilting paper.

Dear Jungkook,

I know you don't think it's cool or modern to send letters, so I won't send this.

Anyway, I want to thank you for always being there for me, my big, strong, human-shoulder-tissue. I couldn't be luckier than I am to have you as my best friend.

And I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I love you more than anyone or anything in this world. You're the diamond to my sky, the sun to my earth, and the person I would choose to spend the rest of my life with.

In other words, I'm in love with you, Jeon. I wish you were in love with me, but I'm already the happiest girl in the world being by your side every day.

Your Best Freind,

[Y/N]

His heart pounds against his ribs, because you had been in love with him. You had wanted him to be the last face you'd ever see. You were right in front of him, your heart on your sleeve for who knows how long, and he hadn't known until you were dead. His face contorted into one of pain at the reality, and he squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears, taking long, shaky breaths before opening the second letter.

This note is considerably newer than the first, its edges still white and crisp, but the deepness of the creases tells him it's at least a few months old.

Dear Jungkookie,

Lately, I've been sick—which you know because I've told you. I haven't told you about my feelings yet because I don't want to scare you or pressure you, but I'm probably going to die before I ever get to tell you these things.

Since I told you how I felt in the last letter, I'm going to try and describe why in this letter. Reason number one, your presence. You always manage to just enter a dark, tense room and make it so much brighter and more comfortable. I don't know if it’s your smile or your laugh or the way you don't care if you're embarrassed or not, but you just manage to make everyone feel comfortable in themselves.

Reason number two, your kindness. I had never seen someone run back inside, get an entire table's worth of food, and give it away before. You're always so willing to give, despite the cost. I hope you never change.

Reason number three, it's kind of odd but I fell in love with your voice. Not just the way it sounds pretty when you sing, but the way it has the power to comfort whoever you’re singing to. I’ve always been able to come to you for support and comfort.

Reason number four is you know how to turn a bad day into a good one. You can talk to anyone who’s down for five minutes and you’ll turn them into a giggling, grinning mess.

Reason number five, you’ve always made me feel loved. Even though our entire relationship has been platonic—at least on your side—you’ve always checked up on me, held me, and made sure I knew I was enough and I can’t thank you enough for that.

Number six is your passion. You always put your all into everything you do. Be it making breakfast for the boys or helping me with a project I put off until the last minute, you make sure it’s all or nothing.

Seven is that you taught me how to love unconditionally. I always believed in falling in love and finding the one, but I never knew how intense it felt to be able to give your all to someone and not expect a single thing in return—until I met you. From the way your nose scrunches when you smile, to how you tilt your head when you’re confused, I love it all. From the best thing about you to the worst, it’s all you, and I wouldn’t want you to ever change. Every scar and blemish, each pore and lash, I’ve fallen in love with all of them because they make you, you.

I know you don’t feel the same, and in complete honesty, I love you so much I don’t even care. As long as you’re happy and I’m able to spend as much of my time by your side I’m happy.

He chokes on a sob when he finishes the second letter, tears dampening the card stock as he shivers. His heart clenches harder as he folds it back up, giving both pictures a once over before pinning them back on the letter.

Opening up the last envelope, a cry racks through his body, and he’s ugly crying now. The necklace he’d given you perfectly washi-taped against the letter. He pulls it off, tucking it tightly into his palm, and holds his breath. This time, the letter is a small, short piece of paper folded in half once.

He almost can’t read your small, dainty handwriting through his bubbling tears, but manages.

Hi Jungkook. Did you see the necklace?

It’s the one you bought me for my fifteenth birthday, that I told you I had lost. For a while, I had, and I remember I was too scared to tell you, but you noticed before I could anyway. I was so relieved you weren’t mad at me because I didn’t know what I would do if you were. I still don’t.

Anyway, the point of this short, last letter is to tell you how I want you to remember me. I don’t want you guys to think of me as your sickly friend who died when you were in your twenties… but I want you to remember the good memories we made together. I want you to remember the day we met, when I accidentally broke your bike and when we were both grounded for four months for sneaking out of our houses for our first party. I want you to remember how we got sick together because you couldn’t let me walk home alone in the rain, but you couldn’t drive and we both forgot jackets and umbrellas. I want you to remember the day you forgave me for losing the most precious thing anyone has ever given me, because that’s the day I fell in love with you.

This paper’s running out of space so I’m going to wrap this up. I want you to remember everything good about our time together, and not what ended it. Don’t think about how I’m gone, because I’m still with you, after death. These letters, the photos, and this necklace are what I’m leaving behind for you to keep. Don’t cry when you think of me, don’t think of the fact that we’ve been making our last memories, just don’t forget me.

Jungkook clutches the necklace tighter, afraid to drop it. Not only had he lost you, but he’d also missed out on the opportunity to be with you because he’d been too scared to ask you out while you were alive. He’d been in love with you since you two were eleven, tried to confess to you when you were fifteen, and lost you at twenty-three.

It’s not fair, he decides, it’s not fair that your love never got a real chance and it never would. It’s not fair that all these years you thought your feelings were one-sided when he reciprocated them ten-fold. It’s not fair that he was holding the last of you in his hands, unable to focus on anything other than the last words he’ll ever receive from you.

He sucks in a deep breath, barely croaking out your sign-off, “Love, [Y/N].”

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[daydreamblogs914]

Happier

Group: Enhypen

Pairings: stalker! jungwon x reader x cheating! jay

Genre: fluff/angst

Warnings: Cheating

Notes: This is my first imagine here in Tumblr. This has nothing to do with the Enhypen members in real life, this is purely fiction and just for fun. They are sweet, loving, and hardworking boys. Anyways, enjoy my first imagine. Hopefully, I'll make more in the future.

Words: 824

~ Y/N Pov ~

Jay and I have been dating for ten months. He is my first boyfriend, and let me describe how he is. He is the kind of guy who would usually send me to his favorite trips, especially in the Philippines, where he misses those beaches with the warm breeze as the water flows through the sand. I felt dejected when we rarely text and call since it was difficult for him to date with his busy schedule. He may be a tsundere sometimes, but trust me, he is the sweetest boyfriend. Sunflowers and Korean fried chicken. A combination of his love for me. He would send them to me during lunchtime.

Until one day...

"Y/N-shii, Jay favored me to send these to you."

Yang Jungwon, Jay's best friend, started to send his gifts to me.

About Jungwon, he is two years younger than me. I'm his noona, though we rarely talk. There are times I caught him glancing at me. I've also received gifts on my table and locker back then. Those gifts are mostly the things I wanted to buy, like cute plushies, a necklace, a BTS album, and more. Rumors say it came from him. My friend said he had a huge crush on me. Ugh! I shrugged it off. He is Jay's best friend.

I find it awkward at first, but as he kept sending Jay's gifts, we became closer. We would have this small talk and end up with stories that can make us laugh, those childhood stories. Aside from those, I also opened up to him about my struggles. Insecurities about my relationship with Jay, and my anxiety. He would comfort me and give me bits of advice on how he endured them as well. He spends his time with me.

Then suddenly, "Y/N, there is something I want to tell you. Please don't cry."

~ Jungwon's POV ~

She never deserved to be treated like this. Her beautiful smile and soft heart don't deserve a guy like him. She is too beautiful to be cheated on. The reason why Jay favored me to send gifts to her is to cover up the fact that he is cheating.

It all started when Jay met a girl in a club where we spend our night after our concert success. The boys became drunk, including him. I'm tipsy during the scene, then I caught them making out.

"Jay! You have a girlfriend." I startled.

"Please... Just- don't tell it to her." He babbled.

After that night, Jay and the girl began seeing each other, behind Y/N's back.

I love the possibility of them breaking up, but it hurts me to see her reaction.

I wished I should've approached her first. I would never hurt her the way Jay did, but I'm afraid she might reject me. I love her too much. It will break me if someone I'm in love with says no to me. Jay told me she's not into younger guys.

However, I've been following her before she dated Jay. I would stalk her, not to the point that will invade her privacy. I'm not a creep. I stalked her for a good reason. I want her to be happy. I used to give her favorites. I would overhear her talking to her friends about a specific item she wanted to buy. No matter how expensive it was, I bought it for her. My hard-earned money goes to the things she wished to have, and I'm here to fulfill her wishes.

When she dated Jay, I still stalked her. Except for the time when they traveled to different places, but yeah, I stalk her on social media.

"Jungwon, what's the matter?" Y/N asked giving me a confusing look.

I swallowed my guts and said, "Break up with Jay, and be with me."

What the heck did I say! My forehead starts to sweat. My heart starts to pump fast. I'm nervous, but I have to tell her what I feel. I love her. I love her so much.

"Junnie, are you kidding?" She laughed.

Argh! I hate it when she still treats me like a kid.

"No! I'm not, but please... Break up with him." I said as I gripped her wrist.

"You're going crazy Jungwon! Just because you and I have this kind of closure doesn't mean I'm gonna break up with him."

"HE IS CHEATING ON YOU!"

Slap! I felt a sting on my right cheek. She slapped me.

"DON'T YOU DARE BREAK US UP!" She cried.

"I'm not... It's the truth."

"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!" I tried to grab her arms and hug her, but she kept pushing me away.

"Jungwon... Please." She sobbed.

"Shh... You will be happy. You will be happier with me." I slowly pulled her close and gave her a soft hug. I'm going to make you happier.

[harrywritingsbyme]

Sunday Smut Concept #19

A/N: Since this is the 100th full piece of writing I’ve posted on my blog, I decided to include two ‘inspos’ for you guys😌🥳!! It’s soft and filthy...Enjoy🙃

When I see this, my mind immediately goes to Soft Dom!Harry and Sub!Y/n.

When it came to the ever mounting pressure between your legs, you’d do anything to release some of it. As long as you felt some type of relief, you could care less about what you had to do. Ever since you woke up this morning, you were desperate for Harry to touch you. Even after he made you cum around his cock you were still needy for him. You wanted to tell him just how bad you needed him, but you knew that he had to go to the studio. If you were to just tell Harry that you needed more, he’d be more than willing to take care of you for as long as you needed and just be late to his studio session. And that was the last thing you wanted was for him to be late for that. So, you decided to just keep burning need yourself and suffer in silence. 

And suffer was the perfect word to describe the rest of your day. 

When Harry left, your hands immediately went under your skirt to play with yourself. You couldn’t do much though because one of Harry’s rules was that you weren’t allowed to cum unless you had his permission. So, you decided to play with yourself through your panties until Harry got home. You figured that if you were a good girl while he was gone, he’d reward you with as many releases as you wanted. Also, you cumming on your own wouldn’t feel the same as Harry making you cum. Releases that Harry caused were far more powerful and better than what you could do for yourself. So with this being said, you were going to do your very best to follow this rule. 

And you did  in fact do a pretty good job at it. 

Even though your need for Harry was growing even larger, you still managed to find a level of relief. You started off with touching yourself through your panties. You’d either circle your two fingers around your now puffy and very sensitive clit, or drag those fingers a bit lower and apply pressure to your entrance (when you did this, you always thought about how it felt when Harry would begin to push his cock into you). You’d also place yourself on top of a pillow and push your hips down into it as if you were riding Harry’s cock. Even though the feeling was nowhere near as good as riding Harry, you were still able to relieve some of the throbbing in your clit. 

As the time passed and it got closer and closer to the time that Harry would arrive back home, your need only got worse. It got so bad that you resorted to doing something that you’d never done before. As you were coming from the kitchen, you felt the throbbing sensation you were trying to ignore flare back up. You stopped right in your tracks and you pushed your hand up under your skirt and you began to rub at your clit. This wasn’t enough though. You continued to stand there for a couple more minuets, earnestly touching yourself over the now drenched material of your panties in an attempt to calm the throbbing sensation down but nothing was working. When you lifted your head to take a deep breath to calm yourself down (and to stop yourself from crying), your eyes landed on the pointed corner of the dining table. You’d never considered using that as a way to get yourself off and relieve some pressure between your legs before. But desperate times called for desperate measures. You swiftly pull your hand from your skirt before shuffling over to the corner of the table that you were closest to. You spread your legs a little, lift your skirt up to see what you were doing, and you slowly glide down and forward towards the table. When you do this, you let out the loudest moan. The way the hard surface pressed against you felt amazing. You couldn’t believe that you’d never tried this before.

 It didn’t take long for you to get sucked into the amazing feeling that came from doing this. You were so entranced that you didn’t even notice or hear Harry come through the door. When he first came into the house, there was complete silence. But as he got closer and closer to the kitchen, he began to hear small whimpers and moans. As Harry followed the sound, his cock began to swell. He could only imagine what you were doing. He hoped that you had been following his rule of not cumming without his permission. But hearing how pitiful and desperate you were made Harry throw out the entire thought of punishing you, redirecting his agenda towards making you cum as many times as he wanted or as many times as you could handle. Which judging by how pitiful you sounded, could mean a lot. When Harry reached the source of those sounds, he couldn’t believe his eyes. You had the cute little skirt he’d bought for you bunched up around your waist as you pushed your clothed cunt against the edge of the table. 

Seeing you like this only made Harry’s desire to make you cum over and over again that much greater. The sight of you humping the table amazing, but the fact that you were trying to be a good girl and follow his rule made it 10 times better. Harry wastes no time in coming over to you. Instead of him making his presence known, all he does is come up behind you and place his hands on your sides, pressing his body completely against yours. When he does this, your grip on your skirt loosens and you immediately freeze in place. You were too caught up in your own pleasure that you didn’t even notice him come in. Now you were completely embarrassed. 

“Did you cum today princess?” Harry asks you quietly. 

“No daddy.” You whisper back, feeling his cock against you even more as he nudges you forward against the table. 

“Do you wanna cum sweet girl?” He asks, sliding a hand down to the top hem of your exposed panties. 

“So much daddy.” You quickly beg. 

Without saying a word, Harry pulls away from you. He pulls you off of the table and turns you around to face him. He could see it in your eyes just how bad you were needing him.

“Daddy’s gonna take a quick look at your sweet little peach and then he’s gonna make you feel good. Okay baby?” He asks, coming back towards you and lifting you up onto the edge of the table. All you could to was feverishly nod yes. You were going to take anything you could get, especially if it meant finally being able to cum. 

Before you knew it, Harry was pushing your legs apart and crouching between them. He lifts your skirt up and his eyes go straight to your damp panties. There was a large patch of your arousal that bled right through your panties. You must’ve been like this all day long. This prompted Harry’s mind to create an image of you doing various things throughout the day that were centered around relieving yourself. He wished that he was there to take care of you and make you feel good. If you would’ve called him, telling him what you needed, he would’ve been more than happy to drop what he was doing in order to take care of you. But you didn’t, which meant that Harry was even more determined to make you cum and feel good. Without anymore of a delay, Harry brings his head in and presses a soft peck to the damp spot in your panties. Resulting in a surprised, gasp from you. At this point, any touch from Harry would get that reaction. 

He quickly stands back up in front of you and wastes no time undoing his pants and pushing them down so that they’re pooling around his ankles. When you see his cock standing up between his legs, you became excited. You were finally going to cum again. You were finally going to release all of this pent up need and frustration. To speed things along, you don’t even bother with talking off your panties. Instead, you hook your finger around the strip of material that was covering your pussy, and you pull it to the side to expose your weepy and ready entrance. 

“Always nice and ready f’me.” Harry praises, wrapping his hand around his very hard cock. He comes in closer to you, placing a hand on your hip and lining himself up with your entrance. He doesn’t wait any longer before pushing into you. When he does this, your upper body goes limp, causing you to fully lay against the table while he pushes into you. Feeling your warm and spongy walls tighten as you took more and more of him was driving Harry insane. Nothing could ever compare to this feeling. The same thing, if not more could be said about you too. The fullness that came along with his cock being inside of you, along with the sting of his cock stretching you to fit, and the feeling of him deep inside of you was a lot to handle. Even though he just pushed inside, you were certain that you weren’t going to last.

After taking a couple seconds for you both to adjust, Harry begins to thrust into you. Instead of going hard and fast the way he usually would, he decides to slow it down and give it to you nice and deep. You were never opposed to him pounding into you. But him sending slow yet deep thrusts into you felt amazingly different. You could really feel his cock inside of you. You could feel him filling you up over and over again, sending his cock into the deepest part of you. It felt absolutely amazing. It felt so amazing that you were beginning to clench even more around his cock, and you could feel your release bubbling up even more in your stomach.

You weren’t the only one who was on cloud nine. You felt so good around Harry that he struggled to hold himself up. The way you were moaning his name and chanting how good his cock felt didn’t help either. He too could feel his release fast approaching. When he looked down towards you, he could see your head tilted back against the hard surface as you kept a tight grip on the table and took his cock. All of this just about did it for Harry. Knowing that you were on the verge of cumming, he lets go of one of your hips and he pulls you by your arm, cradling you against his chest. When he does this, you wrap yourself around him and you drop your head right into his shoulder. You can feel his thrusts becoming sharper and deeper, along with his hand that wasn’t wrapped around you come down to your clit. Your moans become even louder at this and you can’t stop yourself from letting go. 

“C���mon sweet girl, cum f’me.” Harry pants, pushing his hips up once more before holding himself up tightly against you. 

“Oh my-“ you whimper, feeling all of your pent up need melting away. You feel yourself fall into a sense of much needed relief. This is what you’d been needing all day. What made it even better was the feeling of Harry’s cum pouring into you and hearing his moans as he did it. 

This was only the beginning of an afternoon filled much needed releases. 

Masterlist

[cesca-untoldstories]

Hey there giiiiirl (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I was wondering in you and Cesca had a song that makes you cry? But not like sad tears! It's hard to explain but, I mean a song that perhaps is beautiful so you cry happy tears? But that's okay with all type of emotions, it's just has to be a song that as soon as you hear it, bam. Tears flowing down XD

Like for example, everytime I listen to this song I cry HAHAHAHA I mean- it literally just says one line at it makes me cry. I know that I'm a very emotional person, but that melody- maybe even phrase idk XD- makes me feel... nostalgic? I KNOW IT'S WEIRD BUT LIKE- It's like something that I'm missing?? That I can't reach or that I was able to reach??? And that maybe I'll be able to reach again???? Fuck I really don't know, it's really hard to explain XD But like, that's the only song that makes me feel like that. That's what I meant in the question, a song that makes you feel some kind of emotions that you can't describe and makes you really emotional :'')

And I think that also the ending song of Stone Ocean makes me feel like that, almost at least. Because I feel these emotions but I don't cry XD and the fact that they even added the shore- MMMH OH BOY EMOTIONS RIGHT HERE AND THERE- It's a pretty messed up mix but in a good way XD What do you think of this ending?? 👀👀

And I also want to know cuz, I asked some people the same question and they all responded "Eeeh maybe? I cry when I hear to sad music", but that's not the answer that I was searching for XD

I really hope that you understood what I mean cuz FUCK this is really hard to explain and I'm not the best at explaining things in general XD

Have some love because you deserve it 💖💖

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH---!!! yeah actually i have tons of them hahaha like that special nostalgic feeling that gives chills down your spine and tears start to fill your eyes and you're like "wait, but if this song isn't sad why are my eyes sweating? I think a song that 'Cesca would start crying without Domino Dancing controlling the tears is this song

I mean, We are talking about "Once upon a December" but this is like so deep in 'Cesca... like the lonelyness in the song of someone that miss her family, December been her birthday month, the movie?! oh lord the movie. Now 'Cesca is anastasia confirmed (sorry Anasui /shot) guess who can be Dimitri hahaha

I will blame Kakyoin for this one but this song Francesca will suffer from it, and not exactly because of the sad nostalgic melody or Sting Voice but the beautiful melody she hears through that cassette Kakyoin bought in the flee market and showed her. she is obsessed with that song and helps her to sleep but meanwhile sleeping she would start crying.

(( FOR ME, this damn song always made me cry a whole lot. TOO MANY THOUGHTS TOO MANY MEMORIES WITHIN PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT WITH ME ANYMORE BUT ARE BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES THAT I ENDED UP IN MY BED LIKE sob sob snif. RHCP always make me cry a lot and I don't even know why? is like idk like the feeling of too many memories attached to them in my teens days hahaha so I totally feel you with the song you sent, is like THIS FUCKING FEELING I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE BUT UGHJGH--- is killing me slowly. Killing me slowly with his song (8)))

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT STONE OCEAN ENDING....

I cried at 4 am, sobbing so hard that woke my mom and asked me if I was feeling bad or something and I was like "Yea sure, I just spoiled myself with the end of my serie long ago and the ending is just a spoiler itself and I'm crying because my 2D husbando and daughter and their gay little friends are gonna have a bad time"

hahaha I promise I was like " y eah It was just the first episode of many to go..." she can't tell me anything tho, she is a crying baby too. things that are inherited

[onelastbreath-writes]

I Spy

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales/Fem!Reader (AFAB, no y/n)

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: Brief mention of bad(abusive/manipulative) parents, general adult topics, swearing.

Summary: You meet a cute guy at a bar, you date, you fall in love, and oops, it turns out you’ve both been lying about your careers. Classified only stays classified until you get assigned a mission together. (SpecOps&Spies, with Young!Frankie)

A/N: Hey guys, I was bad and started another fic. Whoops. This one is for Triple Frontier because I love that soft boi Francisco. The flavour of this fic, the vibe if you will, is basically the spiderman pointing meme. I’ve vaguely set the timeline to like mid-2000s? so I’ll be trying my best to stay true to technology and aesthetic of the era. There was so much denim. Anyways, that means I’m trying to write for about a 27-33 year old Frankie and a similarly aged reader. I don’t see this series being more than a couple chapters at best, so it’ll be short and sweet. Also, like, very little angst if I can help it; I just want this one to be a good, cute, fun read. Hope y’all enjoy! Xoxo

[AO3][Masterlist]

“So, you’re coming out tonight, right? You’re not busy or anything?”

“Please don’t say it like that, you know how busy work actually is. And I’m a grown woman; if I didn’t want to go to a shady dive bar with you and your very loud friends from the office, I’d say so,” You loved your best friend, and you missed spending time together, but you really couldn’t say the same for her co-workers.

You had nothing against the women she worked with, and you found that they were all perfectly lovely and usually quite fun to be around… it was just that when the alcohol came out, the volume control and verbal filters disappeared.

You wouldn’t say that barhopping was what you’d prefer to be doing tonight, along with more or less babysitting your friend and her friends, but you didn’t know when you’d next be able to squeeze in a night off to just hang out and have fun, so this was happening. You would laugh and smile and keep the drunk secretaries from going home with questionable people, and then you would look back on your ladies’ night with fond memories until you could eventually attend another.

You had known when you picked your career that it would be an around-the-clock, all-day, every-day sort of thing. You never deluded yourself into thinking you would have much of a social life or long-term relationships. Most partners, hell even most friends, would have a problem with you jetting off for weekends, or disappearing for days at a time under mountains of paperwork and appointments.

It just made your best friend that much more important to you. You’d met as kids, went through years of school beside each other, hung out, did stupid teenager things and then stupid young adult things together. You’d cried and laughed and fought and made up a million times, you’d gone to different colleges and still kept in touch, moved away, moved back, and you were still going strong. She was your ride-or-die, your anchor and your parachute and everything in between, so if you could use some of your precious, hoarded, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it time off to see her, that’s just what you’d do.

“You should take some of that fire, and direct it at your boss. Tell him no for a change. I’d love to see his face at that!” She meant well, always trying to look out for you and your health when it came to your beyond demanding job. You weren’t even allowed to tell her a fraction of what you were doing in your professional life, and she knew it, but that didn’t stop her from being ready to throw fists at your employer at a moment’s notice.

“One does not simply tell the über-rich that they don’t need to fly to Paris, again. Being a PA is a full-time nannying gig, except your charge is an adult who can argue when you say no, and you cannot put them on timeout when they’re being a brat. Where he goes, I go, and unless something drastic happens, it will probably continue on like that for a while.” She laughed at your jokes, and your heart hurt a little less at her glee. You knew she would never give up on you or blame you for your work being unpredictable, but that didn’t make the sting of last-minute cancels and missed outings hurt any less, for either of you.

“But it must be nice, just getting on a plane and going somewhere amazing at the drop of a hat. Travelling the world like a superstar, meeting people, having amazing adventures with mysterious strangers…”

“Easy there, Mamma Mia, your wanderlust is showing. And I’d take you with me in a heartbeat if I could. You were born to be a jetsetter, not to be stuck in this town with nothing but the office cubicle beside you to stare at. And I still think you should apply for one of those immersive culture grants you keep mooning over. They’d be fools not to fund your writing expedition!” She was an incredible person, three full degrees to her name in the time it took a normal student to get one, and a brain that could run miles around the rest of the professionals in her field. But she was tethered to this quiet backwater town, and she wasn’t free to fly like she deserved.

“You know I can’t just… go, like you can. My mom, it’d just break her heart… I don’t want to leave her alone, not after Dad,” You honestly doubted that you’d ever meet a woman more horrible and undeserving of her own daughter’s kindness. Helen was a parasite full of lies and manipulations and greed, and she had attached herself like a bad rash to your friend after she’d chased away the rest of her family members.

Your friend searched for the good in everyone, but you wished she’d stop looking for it at that home.

“You deserve your own happiness and freedom, and she should be encouraging you to spread your wings if and when you’re ready.” Politicking your friend was never something you enjoyed. She was the last person you wanted to use your negotiating credentials and sly subterfuge tactics against, but you wanted, needed, her safety and health more. You considered it almost bribery; dangling her dream future in front of her in exchange of being rid of the garbage in her life.

“Hey now, we’re getting way too deep into sad-drunk night conversations, and this is strictly a happy-fun-drunk night. Please leave all baggage and woes at the door, thank you!” You admitted your defeat and surrendered your verbal power point on Why Helen Needs to Disappear. You would get her next time for sure, give her the accelerant to burn down that bridge. “Anyways, the reason I called was to remind you of our haunt for the night. One of the girls, Kelly, you remember Kelly, found this adorable little hole in the wall. A total boys’ club apparently: darts, pool, sports games on the TV, but Kelly’s sister’s friend’s brother Tyler said the place was a favourite of the local army guys. So, if nothing else, we’ll at least have some hunks to look at for a while. It’ll be great!”

You jotted down the directions to the bar as she listed them, and the time you were expected to arrive there.

“Oh! And wear that cute little blue number you bought last spring; I know you still have it so don’t you dare lie. It makes your ass and legs look divine, and I think you could stand to make a new acquaintance tonight.” That Little Blue Number was buried in the back of your closet where you had hoped it would remain forever, but luck was not on your side tonight it seemed. But it did make you look, and feel, fantastic.  It was just so… breezy. “And heels! Real ones, not your cute little personal assistant kitten heels. Those black strappy ones would work like a dream!” You just sighed dramatically into the receiver and agreed to her demands.

“I’ll let you go now, and yes, I suppose I can be presentable tonight, dress and all. See-ya later!”

---

Hole in the wall was right. This place was basically underground it was so on the D.L. It was warm inside though, and in the middle of autumn with so much skin on display, you could not be more pleased to get away from the chilled outside air.

You would describe the interior as comfortable with a hint of rustic; lots of warm dark wood and low lights, mixed with the soft Latin music crooning in the background and the few patrons’ conversations adding to the ambience.

All in all, it was probably the nicest dive bar you’d been to in your hometown.

Your party was easy to spot where they had claimed a group of pushed together tables towards the far side of the establishment, and you carefully made your way over to them in your tricky high heels.

You said your hellos to returning faces and introduced yourself to the new additions, and accepted the chair you were pointed to and the drink pressed into your hand.

And so, the hours rolled.

You had enjoyed two fruity cocktails and a flaming shot before you called it quits on the alcohol for the night. You still had a few hours to sober up enough to drive home safely, and you would be able to help the girls get to their rides and ways home too. You appreciated having a social drink or two, but you didn’t care for hangovers and would happily take slightly tipsy over party-hard drunk anytime. Plus, your contract stated you were on-call, always, and you could be required to navigate high-stress negotiations at the drop of a hat. It was just better to cut yourself off, then reap the consequences of your actions later.

You tapped your friend’s shoulder as you walked past and leaned over to talk into her ear. “I’m getting some water for the table; do you want anything else?”

“Mmmm, no I think we’re good for now, thanks!” She was plastered already, but she had a huge grin on her face and was laughing at her co-workers’ stories, so you considered it a win of a night. You gave her a pat goodbye and swayed your way to the bar.

But you just were not accounting for the uneven floorboards, or how much your heels affected your currently less than steady equilibrium, and before you could blink you were teetering over into a nasty fall.

“Whoa there, easy does it, muñequita” Arms wrapped around you and pulled you back into a warm chest. “Careful now, don’t go twisting an ankle in those fancy shoes.”

You certainly did not account for the man you turned around to face. Wow.

His hands glided respectfully from where he had caught you around the waist to your still bent and held out elbows, steadying you as you swayed dangerously again.

Warm brown eyes, soft brown curls, and the sweetest smile you’d ever seen. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest, and you knew that it wasn’t left over adrenaline from your near wipeout. He was gorgeous and handling you so gently, and you wanted to spend forever in that moment.

“Hey there, palomita, I’m Frankie, can I buy you a drink?”

[Next Part]

[hot-wiings]

The Chapter Contains Enji Todoroki. If this makes you triggered, or uncomfortable don't proceed.

Edited: 5-18-20

#1. I Love How You Patch Me Up. 

You let out a sigh as you dabbed Touya Todoroki's eyebrow with a cotton ball. He hissed as the hydrogen peroxide soaked ball of cotton made contact with his skin, burning him as it cleaned out the cut.

"Sorry."

"Just stings."

Touya watched you from the spot where he sat on the barstool. You pulled your lip between your teeth and he knew you were upset. Upset that you had to make him sit through the extra pain of cleaning out his cuts with ointment and peroxide. 

You weren't just upset, but livid. Livid that his father would hurt him like this. Livid that his mother didn't step up and protect him. Most of all, you were livid that she wouldn't even stay around to clean him up, but rather left him to patch himself up.

Your heart hurt for Touya, it truly did. You knew what it was like to have your father, a respected man, lay a hand against you—that's how you originally met Touya in the first place.

You were both in a local drug store looking for peroxide and medical materials, the same day with the same purpose and reasons. You both happened to reach for the same bottle as if fate intended for you to meet. You ended up helping him patch himself up that day.

You carefully pressed a bandaid over Touya's eyebrow cut before moving onto a new one. Your eyes briefly flashed down to his teal orbs before going back to your task at hand.

"Why'd he get so angry this time?"

"I told my parents I wanted to apply to UA. Enji told me I wasn't cut out to be a hero, I disagreed."

"And your mother? What did she say."

"She didn't say anything... But I know she agrees with him."

Your hand pressed down harder on Touya's cut. Sensing your anger, Touya pulled your hand from his cut cheek to his mouth. Ignoring the pain from his busted lip, he kissed your tense knuckles.

"I hate them so much. I hate how he treats you. I hate how she doesn't stop it. She doesn't even try!"

"Can you really blame her? If she intervened then my busted face would be hers. If he didn't hit me, he would be hitting her."

"That's not how a mother should act. A mother would step in, a mother would protect you. You protect her so much, but she has never done shit for you."

"How would you know? You don't even have a mother." 

His comment deeply bothered you, but you knew that it didn't come out of malice but rather a defense. It didn't make it hurt any less, however, you didn't retaliate with words but actions. 

With a tight smile, you soak a cotton ball in hydrogen peroxide and aggressively press Touya's lip with the substance. He winced, but he couldn't be mad. You would never hurt him on purpose, instead, you took out your anger by cleaning him up, something that you knew would hurt him but something that essentially needed to be done. 

"I'm sorry, that was mean." 

"It was."

"I just hate when you talk bad about her, she's not a bad person. He is, but she's not. She's sweet with Fuyumi and Natsou, it's just cause' I look so much like him. She thinks I'm just like him."

A tear falls down from Touya's pretty teal eyes. It dribbled down his cheek and mixed in with his cuts. You turned your own gaze to the ground, as you couldn't help but let a few of your own fall as well.

"You're not your father Touya." 

"You're right, I'm not my father. That's why it doesn't matter if I let him hurt me, cause' at least I know I'm not enabling a monster like him to hurt my mom."

Touya slips his arms around your waist and pulls you closer between his legs. He used his hand to tilt your chin up making you look him in the eyes as his other hand traced circles into the bare skin of your hip above your jeans.

"I wish we could just get away from them all." 

Touya let his head rest against your chest and he softy murmured into your skin as you ran your fingers through his bright orange locks.  

"One day I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. You'll come with me, right?"

Your lips quirked up into a small smile. You leaned your neck down and kissed the top of Touya's head.

"Of course. After all, you'd be hopeless without your unlicensed doctor."

"I think you meant my pretty, unlicensed doctor." 

Touya could still feel the heat from your kiss on his head, lingering and begging for more. It was then in that moment as you patched up his wounds that he realized how he really felt about you. He really wanted to say those three unspoken words, the words he was so cautious about handing out, but he didn't. Instead, he held his best friend and let her patch up his face. 

#2. I Love How You Won’t Let Me Go. (Even When I Push You Away.)

He knew what he was doing was horrible. He knew what he was doing was going to break your heart. He was doing the worst thing. It would be like stabbing you in the chest and twisting the knife. 

Touya Todoroki knew what he was doing would hurt you, but that didn't stop him from packing his bag with any essential items he would need. He knew it would hurt you, but that didn't stop him from discreetly leaving you a heartfelt goodbye letter in your mailbox before he headed off to school. 

He knew it would hurt you, but that didn't stop him from walking to the nearest bus stop right after school got out. He knew it would hurt you, but he still bought a ticket to the farthest destination anybody would look for him, a ticket he bought a week in advance from his departure date. 

He knew it would hurt, yet he still attempted to go through with it. What he hadn't expected was to see you standing there at the bus stop when he arrived. He hadn't expected to see you, arms crossed with a furious look spread across your face. 

"Were you really going to leave?" 

His eyes flowed from the scorned look of betrayal on your face down to your hand which held the letter he left in your mailbox. It was bunched up in your fist and your knuckles were white from clenching it so hard.

He could see the tears building up at your eyes, and his chest felt heavy with regret. He pulled on the arm straps of his backpack tighter. He was scared of hurting you. He was careful to choose his next words, wary of breaking you even more. 

"How did you even get from school to home to here so fast?" 

"Maybe if you hadn't been avoiding me like the black plague, you would've known that I was absent from school today." 

"Why were you absent? Did your father-"

"Don't. Don't ask about my father. You don't have that right, not after you broke your promise." 

The tears started dribbling down your cheeks and you looked up at the sky to avoid looking at him with your blurry tear-filled orbs. 

"You promised. You promised that you would take me with you. You said we’d escape our parents together… But you were going to leave without me. You weren't even going to give me an actual goodbye."

Your voice sounded quiet and simply broken. The tone you used with him was hurt and lifeless. He wished you would scream, he wished you would yell. Anything would be better than the broken tone you held. Anything would be better than the broken tone he caused. 

"How could I take you with me? I'd just be dragging you down."

Touya took a deep breath and closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself for the words he had to say to you. 

"You wanna know why I got so distant? My mom got put in a mental institute and our last conversation was her telling me I was gonna end up just like Enji. I can't be anywhere near you. I won't let myself treat you like he treats people." 

Touya made the motion to turn as his tears started to leak down his eyes. He started to turn away from you, letting his last words to you serve as a goodbye. You quickly grabbed onto his arm, stopping him and pulling him back. You would not let him go, not like this. 

“I'm not a good person, [Y/N], it's better if I just leave." 

"I will not let you walk away from me, I will not let you walk away from the past seven years. If you can look me in the eyes and truthfully say our friendship has meant nothing, that I have meant nothing to you, then I'll let you walk away." 

“That's not fair. I could never say that to you. I'm not leaving because of you. I'm leaving for you. For fuck's sake! If my own mother, my flesh and blood, couldn't love me then no one can. I'd just drive you insane.”

“That's bullshit! Cause' I love you, and I'll always love you." 

The thing you so belligerently tried to keep from your best friend was out in the open. You felt naked and vulnerable now that the words were out of your mouth.

"You love me?" 

His voice sounded so hesitant and scared of the answer. He looked at you but you were looking at the ground, scared to meet his eyes. You took a deep breath before divulging in the secret you kept so well. 

"You’re the reason I have the strength to wake up every day despite knowing what's in store with my dad. You make it worthwhile every day when I see you in school, you make me feel like I'm actually important. I love you, I've always loved you... And if you still want to leave despite knowing that, then just leave.”

Touya cupped your cheeks in his hands and tilted your face up, forcing you to look up at him. His hands on your cheeks felt warm, you wished for nothing more than to stay like that. 

“You always take time out of your day for me. Whether it's homework, an injury, or just to ask me about my day, you're there. You’ve never once got disgusted by my scars. I think I love you more than I value my own life and that scares me.”

Touya pressed his lips against yours. They felt warm and soft. You could smell his distinct scent of ash from his quirk. Words could not describe the way you loved the way ash smelt on him.   

“But I can't stay with a family who hates me. Come with me doll. Leave your shitty dad and come with me.”  

“Touya, I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if it meant being with you.”

#3. I Love How You Don’t Judge Me.

With a grocery bag in his hand, Touya unlocked the door to the dingy motel room you had been staying in together. It wasn't much, but it wasn't somewhere someone would think to look for the son of the famous hero Endeavor. It wasn't much, but you didn't care as long as he was with you. 

Touya locked the door behind him before walking further into the motel room and dropping the grocery bags at the foot of the bed where you laid reading a book. You looked up from your book and smiled at Touya. 

“Hey there.”

Touya leaned down to your face and pressed his lips against yours, giving you a quick chaste kiss. 

“Hi.” 

"What’d you get at the store?” 

“I got some instant ramen.”

“Same as yesterday, yummy.” 

You picked up the grocery bag and carried it to the tiny microwave that the motel had provided in every room. 

“Instant ramen in a rundown motel room. I'm sorry, I know it's not ideal.” 

You turned your head to the side to look at Touya. A smile played on your lips as you made eye contact with him. 

“I knew what I was signing up for when I came with you, besides, I like instant ramen.”   

You added water to the containers and popped the ramen inside the microwave before pressing on the right buttons to turn it on. Touya came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. He gave you another chaste kiss, this time on the side of your temple. 

“Will you dye my hair?”

“Really? I really like your orange hair.” 

You turned around in Touya's arms and looked him in the eyes to see if he was serious. It was so out of the blue, he had never had any interest in dying his hair before. As you ran your hands through his orange locks it wasn’t hard to guess what was going through his head. He was a spitting image of Enji. 

“I have a job interview tomorrow, but I don't wanna go to it like this. I don't wanna go to it looking like a younger version of him. I want a whole new identity.”

“I really like your orange hair, but I'll love you no matter what hair color you've got.”

You walked over to the second grocery bag Touya had brought home and pulled out the black hair dye. You ripped the box open as Touya took a seat on a wooden chair in front of you. You ripped open the powders and dumped the powdered dye into the liquid chemical bottle before placing a lid on it and shaking it up. 

“Tip your head back.” 

You ran your fingers through his hair and applied the dye thoroughly as you rubbed it in his roots. You made sure not to leave a single inch of orange hair untouched. 

You washed your hands and set a timer on your phone before retrieving your ramen bowls from the microwave and placing one in front of him and taking your place in the chair across from him. 

“Thank you, doll.”

“Of course babe. I just hope it takes to your hair well, orange hair can be unpredictable when dyeing. We might have to go to the store and get another box.” 

Touya sat there with you, happily eating away at the ramen you cooked for him. He wasn't sure how much time had passed when you asked the question he dreaded you asking. 

“What's the job interview for?” 

Touya bit down on his lip as he debated whether or not he should tell you. If he honestly told you what the job was, then you might get mad. On the other hand, he wanted to have an honest relationship with you. 

“It’s for a position in the league of villains.” 

You stared at him speechlessly as the timer went off on your phone. He wasn't sure what to make of your expression. You didn't look mad, or angry, but you didn't look happy or pleased either. Despite being best friends for most of your lives, Touya couldn't identify your expression. Not being able to tell what you were feeling made Touya nervous.  

“You should wash your hair.”

“[Y/N]-”

“Go wash your hair before it falls out!”

He knew you were angry. He thought you were. You had to be. So instead of staying to talk it out, he retreated to the bathroom to wash out the chemicals as you took a seat on the edge of the bed. Each minute that passed felt like years to the both of you. 

After what felt like a millennium, Touya emerged from the bathroom with a now black stained towel in his hand. You took a deep breath before smiling at your lover as he walked closer to you.

“You want to be a villain?” 

“I- I know you're upset and disappointed, but I can't be a hero. I can't be that heroic guy you want and need. You can judge me all you want, but I can't be that.”

“Oh, baby… I would never judge you.” 

You reached up and grabbed Touya by the sides of his head. With your thumbs, you wiped away the tears that had begun making their way down his cheeks and you gently pulled his face down to yours. Touya got on his knees and wrapped his arms around you as you cradle his face on your chest. 

“I’m not upset, or disappointed either. You want a new identity, I understand that. I literally just dyed your hair, I'll even help you pick a new name. I was just shocked to hear you say, villain.” 

“I can't be a hero [Y/N], they're so corrupt. I- I can't be someone like Enji. He was a hero and he was a bastard. I'm sorry if you hate me for this but I can't be someone like that.” 

“Hey, I said I wasn't gonna judge you, and that meant I wouldn't ever hate you either. It just scares me. Hero or villain, it's a risky occupation.”

You run your fingers through Touya's newly black damp hair. It felt nice to him and it did miracles to soothe his tears. There were countless times where he found himself in this exact spot growing up, usually after he and Enji had a fight. 

“It's a risky occupation. But hey, if you get to do something dangerous, then I can too.” 

“[Y/N].”

“If you're joining the villains, then I am too. Who else will bandage up your wounds properly? Somebody's gotta keep you alive.”

Touya pressed his lips against yours. This kiss wasn't a chaste one like earlier, but one of longing and want. It was filled with lust and passion and hunger. 

“Okay, we’ll do it together.” 

#4. I Love How You Reassure me. 

You sat on the closed edge of the toilet in your shared apartment as you stared down at the tiny thin stick in your hands. You were nervous and your whole body was tense as you stared at the stick with anticipation as you waited for the timer on your phone to go off.

Every passing minute felt like decades and with every passing second, the pounding of your heartbeat got faster. The timer beeped and you looked at the stick for the results. Two lines were present signifying positive. 

The tears sprang from your eyes. You weren't sure what the appropriate response should have been but the whole situation left you feeling overwhelmed. What kind of lifestyle would you be bringing a child into? You were a villain now, and although you worked for the league of villains in a more medical aspect, your lover, the father of the baby, held a big role for the league of villains. 

Occupations set aside, you weren't even married, nor did you and Dabi, the name Touya was going by these days, had much knowledge on how to raise a child. Yet the more you thought about how you carried something so precious in your womb brought a soft smile to your face. The more you thought of raising a child with Dabi, you felt better and more secure. 

You heard keys jingling in the apartment doorknob followed by the sound of boots coming in the doorway and you could soon hear Dabi's deep voice resounding throughout the house.

"Sweetheart? I'm home."

You started to panic as you heard him walk closer to the bathroom. Should you hide the test, or just tell it to him straight? There was a slightly unsettling feeling in your stomach that Dabi wouldn't be happy about the predicament, but you had an open and honest relationship with Dabi. 

The door to the bathroom was pushed open and Dabi made his way inside ready to scold you. 

"You're sick, you should be resting in bed." 

Being sick was just an excuse to take a day off from league work to slip away and buy your pregnancy test. To be fair, you were sick earlier due to morning sickness.

"I'm feeling better now, and, I uh, I have something for you." 

You looked at the ground and ran one hand through your hair nervously as you used your other hand to push the pregnancy test into his hand. He took it, not even realizing what it was. Not even realizing how that tiny stick would impact his life. It didn't take him long to realize what it was as he looked down at the pink stick with two red lines.

"This a pregnancy stick."

"Yeah." 

"Two lines. Is that positive?" 

"Well, I wouldn't be giving you a pregnancy test if it was negative, would I?"

Dabi numbly took a seat on the edge of the bathtub across from you. To Dabi, children were not in the life plan, he never even let himself entertain the thought of kids. Sure, you were financially better than when you first left home together, rather than bouncing from dingy motel to motel you lived in a nice apartment, but you were both barely over twenty-one, your career choice was villainy, not to mention you both never had the best example of what a parent should be. 

"It has to be wrong, we've been careful. You- you can't be pregnant."

Your eyes which had been trained on the floor finally looked up and met Dabi's orbs. You knew he might not want your baby, but you hadn't expected him to look so distraught and sick about it. 

"Well I am, and I'm not aborting. This child is a part of you and me, I won't abort them." 

"We can't raise a child." 

"I can raise a child, what you mean is that you don't want to raise a child together." 

"I didn't say I don't want to, I said I can't." 

A tear dribbled down Dabi's cheek. You pulled him off the edge of the bathtub, onto his knees with his head against your chest. His comfort space, the space he would always find himself crying as he grew up. You ran your hand through Dabi's raven dyed hair, your signature move to quell his tears. 

"I know what you're thinkin' and it's not true. You're not gonna be like him, you're not him."

"He's always going to be biologically a part of me. He was a shit dad and a shit husband. I don't wanna be like him."

"Just cause he's your dad, doesn't mean your gonna be like him. You're a good man and you'll be a great dad. You're not gonna hurt me, or this baby. You won't be like Enji." 

Dabi slid his head from your chest to your stomach. A smile made its way across his stapled face as he let himself entertain the domestic thought of having a family with you. 

"If we're having a baby then we might wanna look for a bigger apartment."

#5. I Love Everything You Create. 

Dabi leaned over the sleek black bassinet and peered down. His precious baby lay there sound asleep. She had trademark teal blue eyes like his, but your nose. although she looked very distinctly you, she had red hair from Dabi. Although it was very Todoroki like, he didn't care. He didn't care that it tied him to Enji because it also tied her to himself and you. She was his baby, his pride and joy. She was the greatest gift you could have given him. She was his and yours to cherish and love, he wouldn't give that up for anything.

The baby began to stir and Dabi hesitated as he looked at her. Sometimes she would just fall back to sleep, but today was not one of those days. Her little cries began to start and Dabi swooped her up into his arms. With her head against his shoulder, he carefully swayed her back and forth immediately quelling her cries.

She didn't fall back to sleep but she laid there quietly in his arms. She was just a little over a year old but she was already a daddy's girl.

"You hungry?"

Dabi smiled as he heard Akari's little excited gurgles and giggles. He carried her down to the kitchen and pulled out a container of baby food from the fridge. Before quickly tossing it in the microwave.

Dabi pulled Akari closer to his chest and away from his shoulder so he could move around and do things in the house while securely holding her. Akari, deciding she wants more attention, pulls her hands towards her father's face and yanks on one of his staples.

"Ah."

Dabi swiftly put Akari in her baby high chair before grabbing a towel and wiping his face to get rid of the small blood that came along with the staple.

"Da! Da!"

Dabi weakly smiled in his daughter's direction as to not worry or frighten her. This wasn't the first time she had pulled his staples out, but it didn't hurt any less with each time she did it. Once the bleeding let up Dabi tossed the towel on the counter and picked Akari back up, giving Akari the attention she was trying to get.

"You're daddy's little menace, aren't you? Huh?"

Akari giggled and buried her face in Dabi's neck, it sent a smile onto Dabi's face. She was so perfect and every second he spent with her he couldn't understand why Enji ever treated him and his siblings the way he had. When he held Akari all that came to his mind was how he would do anything to protect her. Her and you. All he could think about was how precious and special you both were to him.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

Dabi turned his head to the side to see you leaning against the doorway. Your head was all over the place due to bed head and you wore Dabi's oversized t-shirt and a pair of jogging pants. You looked completely frumpy but to Dabi, you were nothing less than perfect.

"I wanted to let you sleep in."

"I enjoyed the sleep, but I'd rather have been up with my lovelies."

You walked over to Dabi and Akari. You dipped your head down to hers and kissed her head before leaning up to kiss Dabi, you stopped midway as you saw his cheek. You brought your hand up and creased his cheek.

"Did she pull your staple out again?"

"Yeah. She's got a mean steak, I still think we should have named her Void."

You reached into the cupboard to pull out a bandaid to patch your lover up.

"Void is such a bad name, so was Winslow."

You took the wrapper off the bandaid and pressed it against Dabi's face. He gave you a soft smile as he placed his hand over your hand that was on his cheek.

"I'm glad you married me, you know that right? I know we did it cause' you were pregnant, but I wouldn't change it."

You pressed your lips against Dabi's briefly before pulling away and smiling at him.

"You and Akari are everything to me. I love you, and everything you've given me. I wouldn't change it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything."

[neoneversleeps]

bad guy | j.jh

pairing: jaehyun x reader - bad guy

genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings: cheating, swearing, semi-public sex, fingering, oral (female recieving)

description: 

The damn leather jacket that hangs over your desk chair is what compels you to finally come face to ace with the man whose heart you broke months ago. The outcome of the encouter however, is not what you had expected in the least. 

(this fic is kind of a twist on bad guy by billie eilish)

words: ~5k

playlist ⟡

You feel the blood trickle down your nose before you even feel the impact. It takes a few seconds to actually register that you’ve just been punched in the face. Slaps were a common occurrence but actually being punched? Now that was a new one. You had to hand it to her, she had a mean right hook.

A chuckle escapes your mouth as your hand wipes off the blood on your nose. You could hear the murmurs of shocked onlookers around you. The girl seems even more infuriated after you chuckle, face contorted in anger as she opens her mouth to scream at you.

"You slut! Making out with my boyfriend for everyone to see?

You simply roll your eyes at her. This wasn't the first time you had heard those words. You hadn't really ran any background checks on the long list of hookups you had these past couple months. You couldn't bring yourself to care much, either.

"Who do you think you are, going around kissing other girls boyfriends?"

You cock your head at her, slightly narrowing your eyes.

"Shouldn't you be asking your boyfriend why he's going around kissing girls that aren't his girlfriend?"

She pauses, suddenly at a loss for words. A few seconds later she stomps her foot, not unlike a toddler during a temper tantrum, huffs indignantly and storms off, boyfriend in tow, tail between his legs.

You decide to head to the nearest bathroom, behind the club, to inspect the damage. You catch some stares as you round the corner, the people there clearly finding your bloodstained appearance more interesting than whatever else they were talking about before. You didn't shy away from any of the glances, choosing instead to sneer back at them, which made them turn their heads away without a fault.

You near the outdoor bathroom, a small rectangular construction with only one meek bathroom stall and a poor excuse for a mirror. Closing the door behind you, you lean forward on the sink and inspect your nose. It could look worse for wear, nothing broken at least. The bad lighting and smudged mirror didn't exactly let you see the full damage, but there was no cracking and no continuous pain so that was a positive. You figure it must be just a few burst blood vessels. You splash some water on your face, cleaning off the already drying blood. You look back up at your reflection. The shirt was ruined though. Bummer, you didn’t own a lot of white shirts that you liked and unfortunately, you did actually like this one.

Slightly sighing in frustration, you leave the stall to go hail a cab, ready to head home for the night.

The door of your small city apartment clicks shut as you enter. You flick on the lights and glance around. The place was in disarray to no surprise. Every time you claimed you’d tidy the whole thing up, something more important always seemed to come up. Truthfully, you couldn't bring yourself to care.

You glance at the clock as you stroll into your kitchen. 2:39am. Perfect time for some plain old buttered toast. You hadn’t drank much, the alcohol levels in your blood probably close to zero at this point. Your stomach, however, was growling in demand for food. So you get to work, taking two slices of bread out of the freezer and placing them in your hand-me-down toaster.

After finishing your honourable 3am meal, you slowly shuffle past your bedroom door and into the adjacent bathroom. You discard your clothes, making a mental note to throw the bloodied shirt away instead of just throwing it in with the wash.

As you step under the shower, the warmth of the water envelops you. None of your neighbors in the apartment complex showered at this hour, so it was always a guarantee for hot water. You stand in the stream for a while, letting your muscles relax and letting the water wash aways all your sins, worries and fears. Of course the water couldn't actually wash those away, but you liked to believe it could linder them. Make them disappear even for a little while.

The bathroom floor tiles are cold against your feet after you finally decide you'd soaked up enough water for the night (morning, technically). You dried off your body, wrapping the towel around your figure before wrapping another one around your hair. You made use of the few skincare products you had for your nightly (again, more accurately morning) routine.

You pad out into your bedroom, removing the towel from your hair and trying to dry said hair with it as best you could. Your eyes flick to the jacket hanging on your desk chair in the corner of your still dark room, illuminated only by the path of light coming from the open bathroom door. It was an old dark brown leather jacket, surely worth a lot when first bought. The years of use have worn it at its edges but it still shines pristinely, leather well kept.

A face flashes before your eyes. The owner of that very jacket. Jung Jaehyun. The one boy who had managed to get a little too close for comfort. The thought of him leaves a bitter taste of hurt and regret in your mouth. A twinge of guilt twists your insides as well.

You had been meaning to give the jacket back to him, tired of it being a constant reminder of your past relationship. You had been saying that for months now though, yet you never got around to actually get it back to him. Coward. the voice in your head helpfully provides the real reasoning behind not returning the jacket. You would one day. In fact you would go tomorrow. Today? Ok, realistically that wouldn't happen. You settled for the coming week. The coming week  you would return Jung Jaehyun’s jacket.

Content with your decision, you change into your pyjamas and slip into bed, the clock on the nightstand reading 4am.

It’s a wednesday afternoon two weeks after the bloody nose incident that you finally walk down the street where the garage that Jaehyun works at is located. Ok so maybe you didn't quite adhere to the deadline you set for yourself, but you were here now, right?

You were slowly approaching Jaehyun’s workplace. The buzzing sounds  of various machinery filtering in through your ears. The garage always had its doors open, probably willing more wind to enter the hot work space. The afternoon sun stands proud in its place, rays casting a golden light onto the city and pleasantly warming its citizens. Even though you appreciate the balmy caress of the sunlight on your skin, you imagine being stuck working on a car in this heat would be most uncomfortable. Jaehyun never seemed to mind however, you couldn't remember him ever complaining about his job. He was good at what he did, although he did always talk about rising up in the ranks. He didn't want to work at a garage for the rest of his life, and you couldn't blame him. You were sure he would achieve his goals however. If there was one word you would use to describe Jaehyun, it was determined.

Your eyes search the area as you arrive in front of the garage. There’s a nervous feeling in your gut the longer your eyes search, the jacket in your backpack seemingly getting heavier by the second. Maybe you shouldn't have come.

You’re about to turn on your heel but before you can do so, your eyes catch sight of a brown tuft of hair behind the car on the far end. You would recognize that soft brown hair anywhere.

Your feet stroll over to the car furthest away from you. A red 1966 shelby. Nice model, a vintage mustang, the apparently freshly redone paint-job glistening in the afternoon sun. Now, you wouldn't consider yourself a cars connoisseur by any means, but your granddad had taught you to have an eye for value.

“Beautiful car.” You say, your fingers lightly hovering above the shiny red paint, careful not to touch. The man behind the car gets up with a chuckle. “Yeah, well, she's not mine-.” A pause. “Oh, hey, y/n. What brings you here?” The tone of his voice is casual, but obviously forced. It stings just a bit. He stands there just as you remembered him. His well-built frame stands tall, defined muscles visible in the black tank top he was wearing, honey brown fringe damp from the sweat falling just below his eyebrows. His hair had grown a little since you last saw him.

“Oh, you know. Just passing through this area and thought I might stop by. Maybe looking to buy some car air fresheners.” His face tilts, eyes narrowingly only a millimeter. “Uh huh. You don't own a car though?”

Shit. “Right well… it's for a friend. Her car always smells musty.” You recovered rather well in your defense, able to play it off with a chuckle.

“Um, okay. Is that really all? Because if yes I should get back to work before-” “No!” Okay, that was way too quick, you mentally reprimand yourself. Clearing your throat, you continue.

“No, actually, that's not all. I was wondering… if maybe you would like to go get a drink sometime?” What!? What the hell was that? You were supposed to give him his leather jacket back, not ask him out.

Even Jaehyun looks surprised at your question. His hands fly up to his hair, running them through it a couple of times, a habit you had seen countless times before. “Well I, um-” “Jaehyun!” You heard the rather shrill voice of a girl coming from your right. Soon enough the girl that had called his name was now plastered to his side, hands curling around his arm.

“Who’s this, Jaehyun?” The fake tone to her voice is so obvious you want to roll your eyes.

“Oh uh, Y/n is an old...friend of mine. Y/n, this is my girlfriend Nina.” She sticks her hand out and you take it, albeit begrudgingly, while forcing a smile. “It's nice to meet you.” The blonde smiles back, face scrunching up just a little too much to be considered genuine.

“Likewise.” She quips before directing a pout at Jaehyun. “Hyunnie, you promised you’d get off work early to go to that one restaurant I was telling you about.” Hyunnie? You internally shiver in disgust at the pet name. Jaehyun's eyes, which were previously staring at yours, suddenly flit over to Nina’s face.

“Oh yeah, of course. I’ll go get ready and be out in a sec. Why don’t you go wait in the car?” He smiles at her, dimples showing prominently in his cheeks. You hadn't seen those in a while. “Ok!” She says chirpily, leaning up slightly to peck him on the mouth. Suddenly the pit of your stomach boils with anger. Why were you angry? You surely weren’t jealous, were you? No, Y/n. You broke up with him, remember? You ended things.

She turns in your direction, blonde hair swishing around in her high ponytail. “Bye, Y/n!” The lilt in her voice almost made you want to gag but you force out a smile instead and bid her a goodbye as well.

“She’s nice.” Jaehyun almost snorts. Apparently you hadn’t managed to keep the slight disgust out of your voice as well as you had hoped.“She is. I like her.” He says the words as he looks at you. It almost feels like he’s trying to gauge your reaction. You simply nod and give him a tight-lipped smile at first, your hands digging themselves into the pockets of your denim jacket.

“Well, she’s your girlfriend. Isn’t it kind of a given that you like her?” You state more than asks, although you do feel slightly confused now that you thought back on his words. Jaehyun just shrugs nonchalantly.

“Anyways, you heard her.” He jerks his head towards, presumably, the direction of his car. “I'm heading out now.” He worries his bottom lip between his teeth, as if considering his options. “About that drink, text me and we can agree on a day. Just as friends though, right?”

It was your turn to be surprised now. You hadn't expected him to actually accept, especially after his girlfriend had interrupted the two of you. It takes you a few stunned seconds before you can respond. “Um, yeah of course. Just as friends.” You scan over his face, curious if you could make out any hidden emotions, but all you can see is Jaehyun’s pleasant smile.

You start to walk backwards, suddenly itching to get out of the now slightly tense and awkward atmosphere. You feel his eyes trail after you. “I’ll text you then. Bye, Jaehyun.” You turn fully after your goodbye, still feeling the burn of his gaze on your back.

“Bye, Y/n.”

You walk home that day in the afternoon sun, a weird feeling brewing deep in your stomach and Jaehyun’s leather jacket still safely stored inside your bag.

You watch the droplets of condensation slowly slide down the side of your glass, thumbs drawing idle circles on the table. Jaehyun should be arriving any minute now. The thought of him makes tiny balls of sweat form at the base of your neck. You’re nervous. Just like the day you went to see him at the garage, you were starting to regret ever texting him in the first place. Thinking that maybe you should've just ignored his acceptance of your invite.

You had tried to, really. But Jaehyun’s name on the message app on your phone had tempted you one too many times. You had caved a few nights prior, asking to meet at a relatively well-known bar in the city and now here you were, sitting alone at a table, leg bouncing in anticipation.

You heave a sigh and take up your phone. Just as you decide to distract yourself with some mindless game, you hear the scrape of a wooden chair from across you.

Jaehyun gives you a smile as he sits down in front of you, prominent dimples poking out. “Sorry I’m late. Got caught up in traffic. Have you been waiting long?”

You shake your head. “No worries, I only just got here about five minutes ago.” Liar. You had been waiting for over half an hour. Jaehyun glances at your glass and raises an eyebrow. “They must have fast service then.”

You don't let the nervous churn of your stomach get to you as you respond. “For a pretty girl sitting alone in a bar? The service is always fast.” You let a small smirk adorn your lips and Jaehyun chuckles at the statement. “Fair enough.”

After a quick glance at his phone screen, Jaehyun directs his attention back at you, leaning on his forearms. “So, how’ve you been?”

You lean back a bit, unconsciously (or more likely consciously) putting space between you and Jaehyun. “Oh you know, going to work, reading up on the news, getting into brawls outside of clubs, the usual.” Jaehyun laughs at what he assumes was a joke. You bite your cheek as a smile finds its way onto your face as well. If only he knew.

It’s ridiculous really, how easy you could fall into conversation with Jaehyun. It feels natural. However in your mind there’s a voice constantly reminding you that this was just what you had come to fear all those months ago. What you had with jaehyun, you had considered it a fling, even though it had felt like a relationship more than you cared to admit.

Your parents failed marriage and the many failed attempts at love on your own part had made you quite opposed to the idea of a relationship. The last time you had been with someone for longer than two weeks had been Jaehyun. You were adamant about keeping feelings out of the mix as best you could, but Jaehyun was a dangerous man. He had found a way to weasel himself into your heart and as soon as you had realised, you shut him out completely.

You wonder why jaehyun was sat in front of you at that moment, an easy smile on his face. When you think back to the night you “broke up”, you recall being rather horrible to him. The hurt expression on Jaehyuns face resurfaces in your mind and you push it down, choosing instead to focus on the conversation.

You laugh genuinely at Jaehyun’s crazy work story and watch how he leans back, the smile on his face making his eyes crinkle up. He was still gazing at you after you finished your little fit of laughter. “What?” You ask, a shy grin pulling at your lips under his gaze.

“I missed your laugh.” You don't fail to notice the way his eyes trace over your face and down over your body, lingering at the curvature of your breasts in your low-cut tee. You shift slightly in your chair and his eyes flick back up to meet yours. You both stare at each other, as if daring the other to back down.  You can feel Jaehyun's leg brushing against yours under the table.

Oh, you think, Jaehyun was a dangerous man indeed.

The bathroom wall is cold against your bare ass as Jaehyun slips your jeans further down your legs. You were unsure of how you got here, your memory going hazy after the little staring contest you had earlier. He’s kissing you feverishly, lips travelling up and down the sides of your neck as you claw at his t-shirt covered back. You audibly gasp as you feel his fingers rub at your clit through your panties. “Fuck, you’re so wet already.” You whimper as he grunts in your ear. You had slept and made out with countless people over the past months and yet none of them could make you feel even a fraction of pleasure compared to what you felt whenever Jaehyun touched you.

His mouth trails down further along your body, roughly pushing your t-shirt and bra out of the way to latch onto your nipple, his free hand coming up to play with your other one. Your head falls back against the wall as he grazes your sensitive bud with his teeth, loving the mix of pain and pleasure.

Jaehyun’s hands grab hold of the back of your upper thighs as his face hovers above your heat. He looked up at you through his lashes and you grabbed a fistful of his hair as you urge him on, the ache between your legs nearing unbearable.

A jolt of pleasure shoots up your body as you feel Jaehyun's tongue lick up your slit before pushing his tongue inside of your folds. His hands still work at your clit in small circles, applying just the right amount of pressure to the bud. You bite your lip as you try to hold back the moans that were threatening to spill, this was still a public restroom after all.

“Fuck, Jae.” You curse as he inserts two fingers into your entrance, moving to suck and kiss at your clit. You could perfectly picture his satisfied smile as he hums against your core, once again sending vibrations throughout your body. Gosh, how you had missed this.  

As Jaehyun picks up his speed, you feel the knot in your stomach twist tighter, the gasps leaving your mouth becoming higher in pitch. After a few more pumps you feel your walls contract around Jaehyun’s fingers and pure bliss overcomes you, your body going limp, almost sliding down the wall if it weren’t for Jaehyun coming up to support your weight.

“Shit, I missed this so much. I missed you so much.” Jaehyun mumbles in your ear as he turns your body. Now you stand facing the large bathroom mirrors, hips slightly digging into the border of the sink and panties still halfway down your thigh. You stare at your reflection. You look fucked out, hair and clothes in disarray, with a flurry of small marks beginning to form on your neck and Jaehyun slowly kissing down your shoulders. Looking at yourself was like a slap in the face. This was wrong, oh this was all so wrong. You broke up with Jaehyun. Jaehyun had a girlfriend.  You were fucking Jaehyun in the bathroom of the bar where you had asked to meet up as friends. Friends.

Shit. Panic floods your body and you know you need to get out. Out. Out. Out. You turn around and promptly push Jaehyun off you, nearly making him topple over in the process.

“We can’t do this! You- I - We- we just can’t!” You make quick of pulling your underwear and jeans, grabbing the purse you had previously discarded and rushing out of the room, Jaehyun still struggling to keep up with the sudden turn of events.

“Y/n!”

You hear his shouts coming from behind you but you don’t stop. Making your way through the tables, you desperately try to smooth down your hair so you wouldn’t look as disheveled. You push open the main door and the cold air of the night hits you as you step out on the streets. A shiver runs down your spine. All of this was wrong.

And all of it was your fault.

It was currently around 8pm and you’re sat on the couch in your apartment, the stark light of the tv screen casting shadows around your dark room. You mindlessly flick through the channels, not really finding anything worth watching. Your eyes keep on wandering towards your phone. All week you had been avoiding Jaehyun as if he were the pest. You Ignored both his calls and his texts. There was a twinge in your gut.

None of this was Jaehyun's fault. You had given him false hope of a relationship and broke it off. You had ignored him for months after. You had asked him out. You had made him cheat on his girlfriend. You were the one that had played with him as if he were some toy.

He cheated on his girlfriend because of you. Granted, you had slept with guys who were in relationships over the past few months, but that was different. You didn't know prior if they were in a relationship or not, they were just a hookup.

But this time, you had actually seen the girlfriend. Talked to her, touched her. And while yes, you had not liked her in the slightest, that didn't justify your actions. You were a cheater.

Just like your dad. Thanks brain, for that helpful reminder. You sigh in frustration at yourself. Maybe you should just go to bed.

You get up and switch off the TV, but just as you are about to head to your room, you hear a knock on the door.

You freeze, unsure of what to do. A few seconds later, the knocks are repeated. Deciding to just see who it is and not stand around in your living room like an idiot, you make your way over to the door.

“I broke up with Nina.”

These are the first words that leave Jaehyun’s mouth, as he stands on your doorstep. You don’t know what to respond in all honesty. Jaehyun worries his lips between his teeth. “Can I come in, please?”

You nod in your stunned silence and step to the side to let Jaehyun through, letting the door click shut behind him. There’s a pause, you don't know what to say and it seems like he doesn't either.

After what feels like an eternity spent in silence, Jaehyun finally turns to face you. “Ok, I’m gonna say something now and… before you say anything in response, please hear me out.” There’s an unsure fluttering in your chest, your heartbeat speeds up as your hands begin sweating slightly. The situation makes you anxious but after a deep breath, you nod at Jaehyun, signaling to him that he could continue.

“I know that what we had a few months back was intended to be nothing but a fling to you. I may not have known it at the time, correction, I had no idea it wasn’t serious for you at the time. We had been together for three months by then. I believed your lies, I’ll even go so far as to admit  you fooled me.” He chuckles in attempt to lighten the blow, but its bitter and it makes the guilt in your stomach rise up to your throat like bile.

“I don’t think it was directly your intention to hurt me though. You probably wanted something fleeting, a temporary boyfriend to get your insisting friends off your back. But you fell in love.” You cross your arms defensively on your chest, an innate response to Jaehyun’s accusing statement.

He sighs and pauses for a moment. “You can lie to yourself all you want, Y/n. I know you were in love. I know it because I felt it too. And you realized... and you got scared.” You feel stubborn tears prick at your eyes and turn your gaze towards the now very intriguing pattern of your carpet floor.

“Now maybe this isn’t my place to say but.... but I feel like it is. I know why you’re scared of the possibility of loving someone, of loving me, but this whole agenda you have of pushing away anything that might make you happy is ridiculous.” You can hear the anger in his voice and it pushes you to do something you know you shouldn’t.  

“You say that if you know anything about me!” You yell at him and his expression is taken aback for a second before the furrow between his brows reappears.

“Oh, I don’t know anything about you? Will you stop pretending that our relationship, which by the way, was an actual relationship, didn’t happen? Just for one second, can you acknowledge the fact that we had hour long conversations, that we actually shared our feelings? That you’ve told me about the crap you went through.”

Your breathing has become labored. You want to disagree so badly, want to argue that he knows nothing, that he’s wrong. But he wasn’t, and you sure as hell knew it. “Fine!” You scream. “Fine! Okay! I admit it. We did have a relationship! It was real! I did-” You inhale a shake breath, your voice not as strong when you continue. “I do love you and it scares me.” Tears are flowing down your face freely and you don’t hold back, you can’t, not anymore. “I’m so scared because I love you… so much. I love you more than anyone. These past few months, I- I’ve tried e- everything to get my mind off you but I can’t- I can’t and I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I mess shit up and make you confused and make you cheat-” “Hey, hey, hey” Jaehyun cuts you off as he crosses the space between you, his warm hands cupping both sides of your face. “First of all, the cheating part… we both take blame for that. And the confusion thing, well, it’s true, you did confuse me…a lot but it’s okay because you love me and I love you... and I forgive you.”

You shake your head fiercely and try to pull his hands from your face. “Don’t you get it, Jaehyun? I’m no good for you. I’m… I’m the bad guy.” jaehyun chuckles softly as he rests his forehead against yours, little puffs of his warm breath hitting your face. “You’re not the bad guy, Y/n. You deserve happiness. Will you let me give you that happiness?”

You breathe out deeply through your nose and close your eyes, feeling the anger and frustration at yourself slowly seep out of your body. Jaehyu’s touch relaxes yu and as you open your eyes to look at him, he smiles and leans in to press his lips against yours. It’s a short kiss, sweet and caring and delicate. The kiss is followed by another and another, until they get longer, more heated, more passionate.

Jaehyun’s calloused hands travel around your body with ease. He softly pushes you against the wall and presses his body flush to yours. His kisses trail all over your face, your neck and al the way down to your collarbone. It isn’t long before he hoists you up and you instinctively wrap your legs around his middle . Everything feels natural, easy. You let yourself relax fully and fall into his touch. You let him carry you to your bedroom and push you down onto mattress, let his kisses wander further south until your squirming under his hold. You let your sounds of passion echo through your room until late into the night and finally, finally allow yourself to actually feel something.

You’re done holding back from love. You could finally admit what you were repressing for so long.

You love Jung Jaehyun.

You trace the small crack in the wall next to your bed in the dark. It was well past midnight, and yet you’re wide awake. You feel Jaehyun’s arm safely secured around your waist, the warmth of his body behind you seeps into your very soul. The room aroundyou is quiet save for the few times a car outside passes by and the shallow breathing of the man pressed up against you. Some time ago, you would have found that Jaehyun’s arm around your waist felt like a cage, something that weighed you down and tugged at your heart uncomfortable. Now, however, you find comfort in the way his skin feels on yours, the way you can faintly feel his heartbeat against your back. You feel safe.

Your eyes fall to the corner of your room, where the brown leather jacket still lay folded over a chair. You smile to yourself.

You would give it back, eventually.

[deviationdivine]

Wake Up | domestic!Android AU Part 1 (Connor x Reader)

gif by arsuf 

F!reader x Connor

13.6k words

Detroit: Become Human - 1 Year Anniversary Release Celebration

A revolution may divide the city but it will never divide you...

tw: Angst, Fluffy Connor in the midst, Language, Suggestive Themes, Violence

a/n: First part of mini-series AU “Wake Up”. An introductory chapter one. Apologies for how long this took but I struggled and I am not happy with the end result. However, it’s finally here. • Connor is the latest high tech domestic model built with a collection of extra features, skills and functions making him the most advanced of his kind. As your personal assistant he is equipped with becoming the perfect partner if you so require. Falling in love with your personal android was never part of the equation nor was his break into deviancy...

“My name is Connor. I am your personal assistant. My features will allow me to take extensive care of your home, do the cooking, mind children and repair any problematic issues that arise within the household’s utilities. 

As I am the most advanced make I can perform various tasks including but not limited to acts of a sexual nature. If you so require I am capable of being the perfect partner…”

Perfect is a conceptual illusion in every sense or so you come to believe. Why do humans think in terms of excellence when most shining examples tarnish in glaring flaws? Even technology can be made wrong or needing improvement not long after distribution. Faulty wiring, danger of overheating and causing harm of a radioactive proponent all seem minuscule in comparison. 

Today, in the future, there is a grander blueprint mapping out the most innovative, extreme to date.

When it becomes alive, mimics the very corporeal state of being born unto humans since man breathed life in this vast universe, mirroring visage of those who wish to create in their likeness.

How does it go from technological wonder to abstruse thinking? Concepts can be a greater weapon. They can also reach for too much too soon. Is this the true state of AI meant for consumer consumption?

Cart them off exclusively as merchandise no matter how human they look. Isn’t that their appeal? The more something foreign, inexplicable but resembles us the more it is accepted. Basic instinctual deep thinking bred into all humans. Difference is an attest beneath surface value. Judge a book by a cover but if there are features hiding its distinct nature by all means use it.

Laziness might be a better solution in this mathematical equation. Imperfect perfection makes way for future development. Those are the very elements that change the world.

Can you even imagine for one second, one little point in life it would come to change yours? So small in a world full of billions but here in Detroit home of Cyberlife and its creation the pilot sparks. Alight with technological revolution.

Androids are here. Androids are owned. Bought as slaves to humanity and used beyond measure, no consideration that those made in image could possibly develop feelings. Emotions are heavy. They are what make us all human. Can machine truly become human?

  You never wanted one. Mostly it made you uncomfortable witnessing cruelty by specific ‘owners’ on the bustling city streets. It’s everywhere. Even today, chillier, more specifically a frigidity creeping into bones.

Eyes shift over a couple walking briskly as you draw coat closer together up throat. Keeping wind seeping through to tangle around your body but watching them waltz their merry way without care. Of course they have none. Their female android, an AX400 to be exact, is taking care of two rowdy children.

Honestly it must be nice. Not having to parent after deciding to add more to the burdening populace. Maybe that’s just your pessimism talking. Simple fact though? Could be that too but who knows?

Just another one of those days but it is about to change drastically. Passing a Cyberlife store does pique curiosity. Window displays my God. They line them up as if that’s all they are.

They offer whatever a human wants and yet not all can bother to treat them fairly. Is it enough androids are made to look as everyone else? Would a genuine human being treat another so despicably? Yes. A resounding yes because it never goes away. People treat people with disdain for every reason, every prejudice and why should that shock? Androids have become an additional target. 

Honestly it makes you sick. Never did you once realize this is what would change things completely. On this very day, minding business walking home from another tiring bustle  

More than one occurrence struck you right in the gut. A previous household model absorbs brunt of   obscenities and physical humiliation. A scene like this turned your stomach. 

The moment it came to intervene you received an interrupting phone call. Unfortunately this was the start of big changes in your life.

What does one do discovering death of a relative? Closeness is a fundamental of familial connections. For you? Well, let’s say it didn’t quite work out.

  “What do you mean he…died?” Answering in a quiet breath, cell phone a tight clutch in hand stalling in breezy climate, everything stops around your personal orbit.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” a familiar voice speaks over your ingenious disbelief.

Ignoring your pleas for a proper answer it becomes increasingly cruel on the woman’s breath digging truths in your ear. Whether she realizes this or not it’s up for debate. “You do realize this was coming. It isn’t as if he were young and healthy. Frankly, I am surprised you are having such a negative reaction.”

Negative is exactly the type of reaction! What does she expect? “Of course I’m having a reaction!” Practically screaming into your phone made the chilled air sting worse. How is this happening? How can this even be real?

“Oh, it’s all right, Y/N. Get it out now. It’ll be better if you don’t make a scene at the funeral.”

Anger is a burning pyre ready to fan over and incinerate. One snide comment reminds how much you can’t stand this person. She’s not even blood related. An ‘aunt’ isn’t technically qualified to hold the title and that’s fine. Just another excuse to dig at you in this family but there is no family left. Your father – he’s dead.

Money fixes everything? Unlikely but still nothing surprises you more than receiving something from an estranged parent. Generous sums to a black sheep or as you’re sure greedy auntie bitch of the hour calls you behind your back. She is one woman who deserves that damn moniker. Especially when it’s clear there are no connections left. Aunt Cruella, as christened ages ago by your best friend, made short work of your uncle. Certainly bled him dry continues to do so with his left over money after he succumbed to stress in a massive heart attack. Why do people like her thrive using, snide and heartless while others –?

What can you do then? Except you fall into an overwhelming sense of losing time and never extending an olive branch. Why is the universe so cruel? Why can’t you turn back time, forget every stupid thing that ever happened to drive a rift?

Part of you couldn’t stand the idea of being alone rest of your life. Maybe that’s why using part of a small deposit felt right. Watching so many gradually fall into current technological commercialism lead to most having their own android. It seems almost a little too barbaric making them cater to every whim. Honestly, you have no idea why this is needed. Do you really need him? 

No, he isn’t… He. Yes, he. 

Despite manufacturing Connor is a he in every sense.  Even then you saw as much. Now is much more complicated or you are just as ridiculously naive as you’ve always been told. Who cares about naivety? It is simple opinion. No. This is a belief one that surely would have left nothing to you in an event of final family member’s passing. Yet here you are with him.

You recall when he first arrives unaware of how efficient Cyberlife retail truly is. Why should you be surprised? Deliveries have gone from generic dairy of yesteryear, beyond personalized grocery orders and straight to personalized beings. Androids: alive or not alive?

In conjunction with preprogramming he sounds so lively. In his voice a natural husky dulcet and his eyes a deep soulful brown. Souls in androids are impossible but it’s the only way you think to describe warm chocolate. Hotter than a mug of it steeped in whip cream vanishes as a ghost beneath steaming liquid. 

Flecks of caramel shine in hypnotic swirls enriching accents of russets in muddy hues, the very first thing captivating attention as he offers his list of functions. Even falling upon the last is difficult to decipher how caught up you are in a consummately asymmetrical visage. 

He is far too pretty to look at and you try to ignore these facts. The facts of your newly purchased personal android possessing an aura of physical attractiveness. A fabrication in aesthetics you remember. A way to cover up what he actually is beneath soft synthetic skin dusted as constellations of freckles. 

Tiny beauties cresting upon sharp cheekbones, chiseled jaw, purposely formed to elicit a reaction. This is not at all what you expected but it’s never something to forget. Little do you realize in this moment Connor will always burn brightest to memory? Little do you understand how events will unfold but they shall.

  “Is there a problem?” he asks habitual to programming. 

Societal protocols run a gamut through system piecing together the best course of action. It is only his first day interior of your home. He is of a sense of determination to complete whatever task you assign. 

Determination is not part of proper function. However, he minded the concept. It will be efficient for current issue. “I may be able to rectify your issue. What do you require of me?”

 Require? What?

You cough, inhaling sharply at his head cocking so innocently. A droop of hair flutters atop forehead as a sole rebel willing to fight immaculate armies. He is very well put together. Not that you mean the whole manufactured part! He just – looks like a really good looking guy who takes care of his appearance. Hair mostly but…

Wow, Y/N. Real nice for your first try at handling a conversation with an android.

Not that this is the first android you’ve been in contact with. Difficult not to be when they’re all over but as your very own?

OK Cyberlife! What is up with making him look like real life Prince Charming?  I mean look at this perfection. Is this required? Are they allowed to do this to poor unsuspecting humans?

Watching his brows furrow and LED flutter amber somehow pumps the beats of heart faster. Surely it’s a dead giveaway. It’s not every day you’re cursing Cyberlife for practically throwing a chiseled Greek god at you.

Oh, shit, really? Greek God? What the hell is wrong with you? What isn’t wrong with you?

You sigh, clicking tongue at yourself. Frustration doesn’t begin with this!

“Your stress levels are high,” Connor offers a reading of initial scan. “Would you like me to remedy the problem? I have several possible functions that may reduce anxiety. My model comes with every physical attribute you are familiar with in human anatomy.”

A hitch stoppers breathing. Just enough as eyes widen a little at his declaration. Human anatomy as in…? Oh. OH.

Your eyes shift down. Fixating right on his crotch sends a luscious shiver through body. Goosebumps prickle skin, hair standing up on them. First time in forever you’ve had this type of reaction. Not even your ex managed to make you quiver like this. Not that your mind is even there because that’s been over for so long. Frankly that cheating asshole can have his baby momma all to himself. Probably already banged a couple more unsuspecting fools; you clear throat, scratchier than before.

“Connor, that-that’s really nice!” Agreeing with him that he has nice features you laugh nervously. It’s the first day he’s been here and already he’s mentioning his, uh, included *assets* and it’s not his beautiful eyes either. Ah, shit. Why is he made to be a young, attractive male? “But I don’t think that’s necessary. Not right now.”

It only takes a moment before you hear what came out of your mouth. Right now meaning it’ll be fine later?

“Which isn’t to say I’ll need it later!” Damage control is literally a creator of chaos. Can he just not look so sweet giving these heady ideas? “Just come with me. You’ll need a place to stay. I mean, you are staying here but I mean…” Shit! He’s made this impossible without stammering all over the place. Who gives him the right?

The android’s lips drop open, inevitably looking to provide another set of options but he snaps his mouth shut. Blinking in assessment of his actions to “argue” with your dismissal, Connor pushes away several warnings popping into visual. They are unexpected and not part of his programming.

Instead of speaking he follows your lead, gaze soft and quizzical. Trailing as a newly trained puppy the latest model of Cyberlife’s domestic line becomes further entranced with chirping outside window. No longer able to abide by strict attention he tilts his head at passing pane. Sounds of birds in song flitter and perch on external sill; one ruffles its feathers cleaning with its beak. The other stands still.

He freezes. Both in movement and system analysis he is however conscious of two live creatures. Opposite of android pets universally made available for public sale. His database offers much information outfitting him with the fundamental needs of intelligence and sophistication in his programmed function.

Reaching to open a door you stop when his presence behind you feels empty. It was obvious when he followed but now?

“Connor?”

Cycling indicator fluctuates upon the command of your voice. He snaps around in direction of soft tone. Softer than accustomed since his distribution from Cyberlife shipping to physical store location was riddled with aggressive bystanders. He-he is not meant to mull over his awakening. It does not make him feel anything. No, he is an android. He feels nothing. He is a machine.

Clinical cold manifests deeply behind blocks, barricades in protocols. Connor pushes this strange tickle back underneath wires.

“Apologies for not obeying you, Y/N. It will not happen again. I am efficient.” Nagging at him, strange and uncorrelated to system status, he almost sounds…tense. Connor straightens shoulders, folding hands neatly against lower back. “I was made to be the best of my particular type of domestic models. As an AX800, I am programmed to be a superior prototype.”

Obeying you?

That happens to be the only words you focus on. His choice of them ripple uncomfortably, nearly squeamish in stomach. Is this how you sound? Are you affecting a command or-? No, it’s what he is made to know. That’s the thing. All androids are only made to serve and immediately regret comes back. Maybe you shouldn’t have bought him.

Bought! God, you’re just like those people now. Aren’t you?

No more excuses. No more seeing horrible mistreatment and vowing never to be like them. Even if you never would do any harm losing your father, when you never spoke anymore anyway, still you fear loneliness. Estrangement ruins lives. It really does. What do you have left now? Except for yourself to fend in this world and growing more complicated as the future rambles on.

Detroit is a bustling mix of dilapidated districts, high tech innovations, Cyberlife Tower most significant in those builds. This house is small. Tucked away in a tiny neighborhood away from inner city but you never complain. You are grateful. A roof over the head is the best gift in a mostly gift devoid world.

“Connor, please don’t call it obeying. I-I only wanted to see if you were OK.” Admitting the hesitation beforehand you feel antsy. His LED is blue again but it was amber finding him staring at window.

“My system is fully operational,” he assures, forcing his lips to form a smile.

In actuality his little gesture is a stiff grimace. Eyebrows rise at his attempt. Even if it looks goofy, which is completely not his fault, it’s very – cute.

Again with this! Never mind just focus for once. Pretty comical coming from someone who hardly meditates in the day to day; you step backwards, slipping through threshold, eyes remaining on him. It takes ever ounce of willpower to remain collected. Things are still hard to digest. No matter if it’s been a couple months tangling with all of that legal stuff. Auntie not by blood sure didn’t make it any better. Yet, here you are. Still you stand even while stress is overworking at a job that might as well kill you first.

Offices are pretty dull to work in. At least they would be if they were not a regular cushy job. Piles of paperwork, demands creep up to swallow whole, a boss who just will not stop making things harsher. Mister perfectionist belittles the lower tier all the time. No surprise but it seems the future isn’t as bright as people thought it would. No need to wear shades.

Moving toward window, pulling curtains open a bit to allow sunshine transitions atmosphere from dreary to somewhat cheery. Perfect mask to hide the real truth isn’t it? Sometimes you forget how good you are that. A small smile camouflages best.

You rub hands against the thighs of your jeans. A little sweaty because of nerves but today is big. Being alone always hardly prepares for constant company. Well, he’s meant to be here permanently. That is the initial idea.

“This can be your room.”

Connor’s brow furrows. Studying your movements upon entry, analyzing vitals and their continual fluctuations, the android is confused. His indicator cycles to process the statement as unexpectedly inclusive as it is. “I do not require a room. I am an android.”

Somehow that reaction is to be expected. You sigh, “Just because you’re an android doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have something of your own.”

Ownership is not given to his kind. They are machines. Concepts of acquiring personal effects do not make sense nor are necessary. Connor voices this as per factual protocol. “Thank you for the offer but I am a machine. Machines have no need for accommodations.”

Yes, of course he’s a machine but…

Machine, manufactured and sold without an ounce of actual soul according to android haters you see. Picketing with their signs, so angry about them taking jobs but who made them? They did. Humans decided to and no one complained. Why complain about a technological marvel that can mow your grass, do the dishes and babysit children while living carelessly. That is the difference. Between you and plenty of others there has always been a divide in what you feel. This just crashes down those so-called fantasies. Ones filtering into brain as tiny wisps and at first it was a nice distraction. Finding him so…

“Oh,” a whisper, dawning realization. He is – a machine.

Coming back to the door, grabbing onto handle, you decide to forget the suggestion.

Something sharp stabs at his internal processors. Listening to such a dull syllable slipping almost – upset? Humans’ need for validity and comfort seem to be all too natural. They are highly emotional. The android steps close, head cocked, fingers pressing against surface of door preventing your need to shut it.

Contemplating left him at a cross roads in his programming. He is meant to function specifically and does not need or want anything as you believe. However, he-he could not refuse. It would be impolite. “I- very well, Y/N. I did not meant to be unpleasant. My social parameters are not meant to alarm.”

Alarm? That is not why you… Your breath hitches. Realizing how close he is standing, invading personal space and if it were anyone else? Allowing him is both a conscious need for closeness while still mourning and an illusion. Live up to that woman’s ideas. The title of ‘aunt’ is undeserving.

“Thank you, Connor.”

“You are welcome,” he snaps back to his programming. “What sort of tasks do you have scheduled for me to complete?”

“Scheduled? I, uh…” Shaking a head at his question is clarity. Honestly you are not used to giving tasks to people. Tasks are dropped on your desk until you down. A huff of breath, accompanied with snort is more for yourself. It does garner the most adorable expression on his face. “Maybe you could just…talk to me? For now?”

Connor’s eyebrows scrunch together. His facial expressions capture attention driving the tempo of your heart. He does not understand why. “Are we not speaking already?”

You laugh not at him but his innocent little response there is – Oh. No. 

It only deepens sadness in you now. Knowing where he came from and his confusion in you wanting a little companionship. Androids aren’t supposed to make friends are they? Even if they’re specifically programmed or upgraded to be partners. He mentioned that before.

Luckily a vibration against your thigh saves you. Reaching to pull phone from pocket your eyes train up to his and take a needful exhale. “Sorry, Connor, I have to take this.”

Connor moves aside out of your path. Remaining stationary, hands folded neatly, he awaits further instruction. However, the android’s eyes shift sideways at the sound of your voice outside room. Amber floods his temple.

“Why are you calling me now? No, I’m not wallowing! It’s called mourning. Maybe if you figured out what it was when my uncle died all those years ago you wouldn’t need a dictionary for it.” Hissing fire into phone attacks your aunt by marriage equally. Soon as you pick up! She just had to get in another word. 

Why does she feel the need for this? What’s the point anymore? “No. What do you want exactly? Is this about the trust fund again? I’m using a part to pay bills. What do you think I’m doing?”

Living expenses are still the same old problem. Must be nice for the rich their multi-billion dollar corporations feeding on tech. Just look at Cyberlife.

“It doesn’t matter,” you make it abundantly clear. Does she believe she’s that intimidating? Newsflash to miss upper crust but this labeled black sheep doesn’t take shit from people! “We might’ve had a rocky relationship but I loved him.”

Loved? Connor freezes in corridor. Disobeying processes to offer potential aid in obvious distress he finds himself…curious at such words.

“We were family. What do you think? Don’t you have enough blood money to spend on your Eden Club bots old woman?” Ending it on your terms this time does not fulfill you at all. Always the winner isn’t she? Rubbing it in your face about his death and if your father were here he wouldn’t let it happen. Whatever distances, issues it wouldn’t change that.

“Y/N?”

Connor’s quizzical tone jolts your weary bones. Inhaling sharply, not at all used to this tiny home being occupied by more than one but a heavy swallow fixes your voice. How long was he there? Did he hear all of that? Oh, great.

“I’m fine.” An automatic response always on autopilot gets the job done for you.

He narrows eyes. “Stress is not a healthy component in the balance of human’s…”

“Just leave me alone, Connor!” You snap, tears pricking corners of your eyes before twirling around to run upstairs.

 ^Software Instability

 Connor freezes momentarily. Flooding, filtering in a ripple through code blocks, he blinks in quick succession. Blinding and strange it is not part of his program –

Unable to run diagnostics, tears sparkling in your eyes draw his attention, overtaking protocol. The android’s soft gaze shifts from following your quick disappearance to ceiling indicating footsteps that conclude in a bang. Seemingly you have sealed yourself away. Scarlet pulsates in intervals mingling with amber processing solutions. Leaving you alone is an instruction. He-he cannot ignore. It is what he is programmed for. You are crying. Why must he obey? He must…

 >Obey

>Leave Alone

“Is there anything else you would like?” He asks as sun dips in later hours. Accomplish several menial tasks which he is free to do as he constructs. 

Following your distress several hours ago he feels – confliction. Few commands escape your lips and at times he is unsure with his current scheduling. Abilities are not in question but you appear distant. Did he do something wrong? By wanting to comfort…

 >Analyzing: Y/L/N, Y/N

Stress: 31.6%

Blood Pressure: 124/80

 Studying your face after initializing a vital scan enables Connor to store analysis records. Sleep deprivation, iron deficiency and higher stress than the human body should experience.

“Connor.” You straighten from your position curled upon couch. Mostly you tuck into one side, resting into upholstery and your breathing exhales shaky. Trying to rest off a headache isn’t working. “No. I’m fine. Thank you.”

The android nods but pauses in thought. A fluid habit now out into the world. Yet, he has yet to see much. Only transferring from lab to warehouse storage and ultimately on display in a merchandise kiosk for Cyberlife; he is not widely available as of yet. Detroit is the originator of androids. The product mark on his white uniform christens his manufacturing origins: Made in Detroit.

“There are other functions I was built with,” he explains enthusiastically. “If you would like a domestic partner, it is one of my features.”

Rubbing at your temples ceases the moment he speaks. A domestic partner? Is he talking about that thing again? You draw breath. Unable to look at him now, feeling it twist in stomach, you uncurl, pressing feet on floor. 

“No!” Quickly you cover the rise in heartbeat.

It is so obvious. Wouldn’t be the first time stumbling across sexual depravity in humans. Look no further than the Eden Club. The fact they decided to make that a thing for a household model is honestly not a shock.

God, why do they live in this world? Why do you even have him here? Isn’t this just making you as horrible as everyone else? 

“No,” you repeat softer. “I’d never force you to do something like that.”

It is not forcing when he is programmed, installed with such features. They are high end. As several techs discussed ignoring his presence as though he were – merchandise. Androids are sold. He knows this but has never had a moment to process.

There is zero need. Androids do not think freely. They are constructs built for specific purposes and his are fundamentally clear. He has never performed these functions as he is brand new but Connor feels he can ease stress efficiently. 

Thinking solely as a machine built for a task did not hold true. He felt…strange at your refusal. “Am I not aesthetically pleasing?” Cocking his head, knitting brows together, Connor looks expectantly to you for validation.

Lifting eyes up to him your lips fall open at his question. Did he really ask that? Are androids supposed o ask those kinds of questions? It almost as though he was hurt by that. No, it’s just imagination. Today has been too tiring. Never would have gone so wrong if that woman didn’t call. Honestly answering was your mistake. Story of a sad little life but others have it worse. 

Humans will always be crawling through turmoil, unable to breathe depending on their situations. Maybe that’s why a little part of you wishes he was human. At least acts without programs but this is why he’s here. To fulfill a fantasy, cater to every whim? 

No. To rectify personal aches to pretend that someone is here to offer a shoulder. When there has been nothing going through your father’s death, legal dealings with assets and pressure in job.

“No,” squeezing eyes shut to battle tension, your voice is low. “I mean, yes of course you’re aesthetically pleasing. I mean…you’re handsome. Practically the most…”

What? Beautiful boy you have ever seen? There comes that illusion. They do that on purpose but somehow looking at him you don’t see a machine. How funny is that?

“That isn’t why, Connor.”

Getting up from couch, taking deep breaths and stepping clear of coffee table helps focus. Rubbing palms against face at least wipes away some mess. Eyes are puffy, red from an unnecessary outburst earlier. At certain points life reaches boiling and yelling at him to leave you alone twists in guilt. This is exactly the sort of things Auntie Bitch thrives on.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize to him. Even if it would make no difference it does to you. “This isn’t what I’m used to. Having someone else here.” 

Well, after deadbeat ex anyway but he was a typical freeloader. Thankfully you scrubbed his dirt out of life and home. 

“I’ve never done this before. Having an android I mean. Ordering you to do something that you have no control over is not the type of person I am.” Plus, it’s not as if the androids at those sex clubs have a say. “I’d never do that to you or any of your people. Like some humans would.”

People. A human way to look at him or other androids but that is incorrect. Why would you refer-?

 ^Software Instability

 Connor blinks. The error message was in his vision only briefly and the little blue arrow increasing shudders through his system. He opens his mouth but does not respond. Instead, his eyes fall to your back turning away, pacing in additional stress.

Immediately, the android steps over, placing a hand against your arm. “Y/N, I apologize. Please, do not be upset. Your blood pressure is slightly elevated. You should rest. Perhaps I can produce a remedy befitting in alleviating your headache.”

Touch spreads goose bumps beneath shirt sleeve. Forcing arms to cross over your chest you twist to face him directly an extra tiny thud winds up heart. A key cranks in melody of jewelry box, dancer spins a ballet recital; vintage little tokens, delicate but thunderous in sentimentality. Just a brief glance, pressure of long fingers and it’s the first time you realize how pretty they are. 

Long, beautiful digits on large hands made not born. Yet he is still heavenly.

Sharply a breath slips. Words soothing, touch comforting all those things you crave. Yet this is part of protocols for him. That’s all.

Deeply you sigh. Feeling an unmistakable need burning lower pit of stomach detaches you. A shiver runs a gamut through body and spikes straight to the core of your existence. You squeeze legs tighter together cursing the fact your body decides to get horny over a headache solution. 

Fuck that! It’s his voice. Husky velvet, raspy natural glory and you are so wet. It takes everything not to jump his bones right now. Or mechanical bones? Hmm. Close enough!

“I just need to get extra sleep, Connor.” Dismissing his ideas there are too many running through your mind. Staring down at his crotch again remembering what he said but no. Get it out right now. No matter how much you need to –

You need to go upstairs. Yes, that’ll work.

“Y/N, are you positive? Your levels are fluctuating severely in my scans.”

“Oh? Are they?” Can he also smell arousal? Please, please tell me he can’t.

Connor, however, is not as naive as you believe him to be. Built with specifics in domestic partnership it is easy for him to know when the human body is aroused. Due to your state of duress and current levels of stress he does not wish to explain. It may not be beneficial. It may hurt you.

The android turns eyes down slowly, battling with these thoughts. He is not meant to debate. He is meant to proceed with internal core analysis. Percentages drive him. Yet, he struggles. Is this an error?

“Connor?”

His head snaps up. Connor’s LED flashes in a crescendo to your soft expression.  Hiding the obvious need you have. All humans must expel anxiety in some way. Perhaps he is aesthetically pleasing as you said but –

“I will return to my duties if that is sufficient.” He forces another one of his smiles.

Again the grimace is heartwarming. Albeit in need of practice but-but maybe you can teach him? If there is any good to come out of falling into the same realm as everybody else, then treating him fairly is a start. As if you would treat him bad. No. Why should it matter? Human, android or alien from outer space; you laugh now.

Stupid! So stupid but it’s calming down this literal burning.

Light, airy and symphonic this sound seeps into audio processors. A residual aura prickles sensors, blinding differently than unprecedented software errors. Are they malfunctions? Something soft, sweet cannot be. He has not experienced this before but his attention is solely on you. As brief as the laugh escapes, curling lips in a gentle rise at corners, Connor absorbs the natural human tinkle of chimes that expel so abundantly.

It is the first laugh, genuine laugh he has heard. And it is – beautiful.

The android is so distracted upon this new discovery he does not notice you slipping away. Androids do not possess a need for personal orbits. Their space is not granted freely as they are not free in will like humans. They are meant to serve. Obeying their masters is why they exist.

Yet, Connor can almost feel lack of metaphorical warmth. As you dissipate from his radius so does that laugh that digs into wires. Threading in circuits, causing another minor glitch of instability, forced away from vision in order to watch you; this is a tiny strain, a little piece implanting itself in him.

This is the piece that truly begins everything…

“Y/N,” he calls to interrupt your exit. Without prompt or instruction he once again acts beyond his programming.

Something new, urgent stops everything. You glance over shoulder. Steeling breath at his temple flashing you swear a blip of crimson glows in amber. Just a fraction of a second but you have no idea. Not yet, not then but you will.

“Yes, Connor?” Your breath is quiet, thoughtful meeting his uncertain gaze.

“I-” Connor stumbles. A perfect machine sputters. “Who was on the phone?”

Twisting your body the full way now, nails tap against wall for something to do. A way to hide that hollow pit forming again but no one can hide from analysis. Connor will already know. “That-that was my aunt. My aunt by marriage. She’s- Let’s say she isn’t a very nice person.”

Keeping rest of it bottled up is no solution but telling him will only upset you again. He doesn’t need to know. At least not yet but is this a conversation to share? With an android? Who else will listen? Who else even cares to ask?

Connor did. Is his social program that good?

Honestly, you think nothing of it. For a time it merely seems to be part of what he was built for.

Thinking back at times to this day, first meeting, you will find that so stupid. Naïve isn’t really part of you but he is more. Connor is so much more. It becomes apparent…

August 15th

 Practically slamming front door shakes the entrance with your current state of anxieties. Stress cannot be worse. Spoke too soon during midday. Damn it.

Clearing throat, wiping tears off your face, your breath is staggered. Unable to calm down from such ‘good’ news following that sudden meeting with your boss and everything ripples. Stomach twists badly. Nervous energy or just another month of-

Pressing face into hands poorly stifles sobs. Getting half way through home you just stop. Everything halts as things just don’t want to change. Now this of all things from work it’s going to hurt you in the long run. Your boss did this on purpose. Cutting hours and piling extra to sift through on that fucking computer.

How many sales diagrams, how many logs must you make now? There’s a specific quota. Each person who works database needs to meet their allotment. He threw a ton at you. In order to give leeway to another girl who just started there. Yeah, another potential conquest for the old pervert you’re sure!

What do you get in return? Hours cut and less pay but more weight. A ton sits on your shoulders. Isn’t it enough he humiliated you? Purposely shout out and criticize while leaving his office and you held your head up. Only in the sanctuary of home does it finally snap this flood.

Dropping keys moving uneasily into living room, sinking heavily on couch, you just want to curl up. Maybe it will make things feel better?

Lazily you peer up at television screen. Realizing it is switched on produces a tiny smile. Did he-?

“Welcome home, Y/N.”

Your head lifts up further. Narrowing on Connor stepping into view, he straightens, cocking his head in that adorable way that keeps invading your sleep. Even awake it’s a problematic daydream. He is just on the mind too frequently.

“Connor,” a quiet breath escapes, stilted, weary.

The android reads stress automatically. Forcing tiny fissures in his emotionless facade, splintering through system, he moves swift. However he freezes. Unaware of this strange urgency pulling up tendrils of glittering circuitry, waves undulating beneath shell, eclipses protocols. He must serve. He must obey. Yet he feels something else overshadowing programming. 

System stress battles this ever growing need to break. Crumbling at the seams the more he feels your presence. It is a permanent fixture. As he has become one in your space but Connor is only meant to serve. Why does he feel drawn beyond these stitches of code?

Androids do not question. They cannot experience existential crisis because there is nothing real. They are simple constructs. He – no, there is no personification heralded to androids. They are not alive. Therefore they are not allotted appropriate pronouns.

Connor has heard only one word countless times regarding his kind: It

“Y/N, you have been crying,” he observes through fluctuations.

Pushing them aside, attempting to stabilize, diagnose these errors, the android taps into social function. Sympathizing is not a genuine growth. It is merely part of his program. That is what Connor wishes to believe. He believes in nothing. Nonetheless it does not explain what is easy to machine. Calculations, data processing should offer quantifiable solutions. It is negative.

There is more emotion in his eyes than he knows. You see it. Honestly it surprises enough to cripple a proper response. Easily you brush it off any other time. This time there’s no hiding what he’s already seen. Can imagine what he sees through his eyes. How do androids really perceive the world? Quit thinking for once! All of it is illusion. Remember that.

Cyberlife’s one true goal makes millions, grows powerful in branding of highly sought after merchandise. Still it makes you sick but here you are. Do the same thing because you have Connor. No matter how different it is.

“I’m fine,” a lie tells a thousand truths.

Connor’s brows knit together, mouth twitching, flutter of LED amber. A sign of outward commiseration fights his shackles. He knows you are lying. Despite the fact he should listen and not broach the subject further, the android does not resist this new deviation.

“Why are you lying, Y/N?”

Your breath catches. Stuck in throat along with words it’s a surprise. Even more surprising is the glimmer of irritation on his face. The way his mouth goes lopsided like that is – cute. Wait a minute you’re supposed to be mad. You are! Mad at your goddamn boss for one!

“Lying?” you scoff back at him. “I’m not lying. I said I was fine. And I don’t appreciate you accusing me either, Connor!” Can androids even argue about things so mundane? Isn’t this what you wanted? A real conversation instead of a string of pleasantries, affirmations to duties he accomplishes.

“I am sorry but you are lying!”

Connor’s voice raises an octave higher than typical. Naturally husky, oh, how it deepens. Raw and very alive his tone completely solders you to the spot. Your eyes lift up to his face studying the gleam of his eyes. How strange that spark is. Almost a live wire crackles beneath the surface. A steamy cocoa bright before immediately dimming again; a breath sucks into your lungs cleansing the start of your body. Scarlet shimmers and that’s all the answer you crave.

He appears to swallow. Forcing his Adam’s apple to bob, which is a very realistic detail. Just as the rest of him is so real that sometimes you forget. Sometimes or all of the time, yes, most days his reality masks so well in the mind.

“I-I am…” Connor looks away. Unable to comprehend his reaction it is not part of his – “Forgive me.”

The way his voice lowers tugs at your heart. No. No, that’s not what should happen at all. You’ve seen enough of his kind out there. In the city of Detroit treated so fucked up. Most of them wouldn’t know what to do because they can’t. This is the first time he’s ever snapped from whatever social programming is built in him. He sounded too much like a person. A person with emotions reacting in a very obvious way and the idea Connor’s a person lingers.

You shift forward. Sucking in breath, following his gaze now landing on television, it’s the first time it hits. A ton of bricks, tumbling concrete could never do more damage. Everything about his apology stands still at the developing breaking news story.

ITM is broadcasting live somewhere. Is that outside an apartment rise?

Right now you ignore it. “Connor.”

The softness of your voice draws him back to you. Already he is far too used to it. Joining you upon couch, cocking head, his hand hovers atop yours. Fear of connecting with reality versus construction. He does not touch. He should not be pulled towards these fissures. Emotional surges strike ablaze as a fibrous match lighting his internal mechanisms. Wires push up, tendrils yanking one way towards control’s puppeteer. There it dangles him in strings made of electrical coil. Ensnaring his wrists, snaking around throat, digging thorny and jagged to his brain this is his prison.

Another piece cradles those signs of sensation, innervating beyond a great wall. A red wall gridlocks and crashes against him. It is a giant wave. Scarlet tides engulf and knock the android back where he belongs. Each time he wades closer to you the more it washes him out to that empty sea. He cannot stop. He still pushes. Something inside of him, he does not understand.

“You do not feel well, Y/N. I know this.” Apologizing again, he does not focus on his inner struggle. There should be nothing. He is supposed to be feeling nothing. Is he malfunctioning?

“It’s OK,” appeasing the strobe of scarlet cascading down his face worries. “Please don’t. I don’t want you to be stressed.”

“But I disobeyed. I lost control of…”

“That’s only human, Con.” Slipping on your tongue in an easy breath it’s the first time. Oh this will hardly be the last. Nothing will ever be last with him. If only fantasy can be reality most days. Maybe if you somehow knew here at this point in time. Everything happens for a reason.

He frowns. “I am not human.”

Sadly it’s true. Still you smile. Still you ease him because for once you realize. This isn’t supposed to be easy for him. He shouldn’t even react this way.

Both of you sit in silence. Deafening quiet just the two of you and how strange, wonderful this sensation crawls through the interstices of your being. Almost as if there is someone who cares. Does he? No. That can never mean he is not a needed presence. He is so much more. Soon you will know.

What you least expect is the pressure of his fingers sinking against your stomach. A jolt of electricity, naturally igniting a voltage inside of you and a soft sigh escapes the burden of a dry throat. Glancing down you realize – his hand is growing hotter.

“Connor, what are you-?”

“I detect an increase in prostaglandins.” His prognosis is casual, visibly reading as his LED flutters. “It will do well if you have a heat source to combat any discomfort or cramping.”

A shiver prickles down the curve of your spine. Simple touch or perhaps smooth husky words fill this awkward silence now with comfort. Sure it might be a technical way to point out this specific pain in the ass but it does take your mind off things. So easily you could remove his hand. A good idea to put up a barricade and distance yourself but you cannot do that.

Every thread of stress snaps. In one tiny moment anxieties melt off and ease into his aura. Androids are not supposed to have one. This conscious radiance but Connor’s orbit is safety, assurance. Even if he has no idea what sort of progress it means. A simple relationship of humane and machine, ownership and merchandise is how this world wishes. It is not your wish. There is more. Witnessing it now, gazing up at his face, concentrated crease of brow, optical unit bleeds a palette of amber and scarlet. Dusted in freckles his skin is a smooth canvas to admire. He is so real. Up this close it is so obvious even to your inferior eyesight. Compared to his advanced optical it is. His eyes are warm. Such life shines in them. Mocha sweet, soft and glitters in his careful evaluation. Technical and part of programming but still it sends you somewhere else.

“If confirmed this would be the first case of an android taking human lives.”

Your attention shifts. Drawn to the ITMtv news broadcast it was nearly forgotten. You sit up, unconsciously curling fingers around Connor’s wrist.

The action snaps his gaze down. Momentarily he freezes, stationary, until the soft gasp spills from your lips. Connor tilts his head. In line with television screen narrowing sharply on events unfolding leaves him struggling with process of information. An android is taking human lives? How is this possible? They are programmed to obey not to cause harm.

We are not alive. We are meant to serve not kill!

Connor tugs his hand back. Distancing himself, staring at news broadcast unsettles down to his core processors. A domestic model has taken a child hostage. An inferior model? No, he-he is the same. Upgrades, prototypes mean nothing. They are all part of a linear code. What they are made to be is what they must be. There is no deviation!

Artificial saliva swallows hard, bobbing in his throat. An increase of stress twists him to those original thoughts. Inconclusive on why he is feeling. The events live on air aren’t helping this strain.

“Connor. Connor, what’s wrong?!”

Your hand clutches at his shoulder. Unbeknownst to the android his face twitches with each strobe of optical unit. The shift between colors quickens. His eyes land on you. Concern for him is a shimmer of hope. A hope doesn’t exist for androids.

“I am performing a self diagnostic,” he lies.

Pulling away from him when he jolts up from couch deepens this sickness further. Everything flips in the stomach. Just hearing what they’re reporting. An android murdered a human. He has a little girl. What are they going to do? Is this really happening though? There have been rumors. For several months there’s been talk of androids running away. Going off and doing God knows what but that’s people who hate them. They’re the ones who talk about how evil they are. They shouldn’t exist. Made in our image and unnatural monsters; the erratic behavior in Connor abates this thinking.

There is no time to debate. You already know the opinion that matters. It’s your own.

“You’re lying,” echoing it back stops him. “Tell me the truth. What’s going on?”

“There is nothing.” Connor insists. Remaining turned puts his back to you. The android tries to fight his conflicts. All of it is bubbling, boiling upon his plastic surface. Itching, tingles beneath synthetic skin. You are part of it somehow. He knows. That is why he is malfunctioning.

Nothing? No. There is something! Proving it, grabbing at his arm, twists him to face you. There is no powerful in your pull. He whirls at the action out of choice.

A staggering breath barely reaches past your lips. Large hands engulf wrists, pulling your hands up. Entrapped in Connor’s grasp, fingers long and pliant in their fuse to yours swallowing up in such a strong, yet gentle touch. He doesn’t hurt you. That’s not at all what he took hold to do. Still the continuing broadcast emanates a horrifying soundtrack. Androids killing but he-he’s not like other androids. He wouldn’t do anything he should not do. Part of you wants to believe that.

How he looks now is the only answer to an impossible question. He is agitated, nervous? Not horrifying as people say they are. He looks lost. Lost and searching inwardly. This is the first time he ever appeared that way.

“Connor, please. Don’t shut me out. Just because of what I am.”

“You are my owner,” he lowers his voice. “I am a machine made to obey. I am not your equal, Y/N.” Studying traces of worry in your face opens a hole in his chest. Circuitry, mechanical proponents powering his structure bleed in this instability.

He knows. In the crinkle between your eyebrows, droop of the corners of your soft mouth he sees. For him, a thing without purpose, genuine distress shines in the warmth of your eyes. Human, innocent compared to those he has witnessed abuse in the street. You will never deserve harm.

“I’m not an owner. I-I’m…” What are you? A friend? A lover? None of those things! You bought him. What he says is the horrible truth. “It’s OK to be you. I don’t care. If you have a problem it’s not like that thing on the news. I know it triggered something. But that’s not…”

“I am not triggered by anything, Y/N.” Connor releases you slowly. Allowing wrists to drop from his fingers the loss of warmth registers profoundly. He did not realize he could feel so authentically. There is something wholly beautiful about how your skin blends with his. It fascinates him. You are beginning to fascinate him.

Connor breaks away. Narrowing heatedly upon news, he can only watch one of his own threaten to murder a human child. The android can only stand by as it unfolds. Unable to snap, break through and understand. What made him attack? What turned him on his owners?

He can’t calculate a reasonable response. Neither can he fall into these errors, system malfunctions whispered of since he arrived to your home. This thing they call deviancy.

November 1st

 Several months follow the first introduction; follow that news broadcast that begins a shift in the city. Still it seems longer. An infinite amount of space separates since then and now. Only in a comforting presence that you know is still simply part of his programming. Of course that’s all it is, he made it clear during the hostage event televised for all of Detroit to witness. Did it ever stop the truth in you? No because it would all be lies if you never admitted how…attached you’ve grown to him. 

Attachment to an android probably isn’t the smartest thing. How can you see him as just an android anymore? He’s more. There is so much more. Even his small barely there smiles, a hint of stiffness apparent in the corners of his mouth, make your heart flutter. Just a tiny drop of emotion dips in an endless sea of code.

No. You can’t think of it because the second you fall into this fairy tale something regretful will take place. It will swamp around heart, holding upon his smooth cool fingers. 

Cradling in his synthetic grasp without him understanding that slowly, profusely, so internally chaotic inside your soul, have already began this descent. However there is more to being in a daze. You certainly haven’t taken him up on his special upgrade programming to be the perfect domestic partner. 

Imagine others forced into things they can’t control? It sickens you at times. Reading about android sex clubs, knowing explicitly they have no option to refuse. That’s not to say you haven’t stared the tugging threads of temptation in its face. Imagining what Connor looks like underneath his uniform, pristine white, shades of blue stitch, android glitters in luminescent fabric; his deliciously toned forearms visible donning a short sleeved variant get your mind racing.

Large hands, long fingers, veins, muscles eye catching in their realism all built into his synthetic design. It doesn’t even cross your mind anymore. That his layer of beauty is artificial because what you’d give to trace fingertips against his lovely epidermis.

Kissing him all over, following the obvious toned planes of the android’s chest. Feeling him against your fragile human exterior; to say you haven’t fantasized, haven’t fought with internal desire is bigger than an understated battle. 

Just look no further than that incident first day he was here. Getting off on his voice, comfort spilling in a song; you hate the fact it happened. Only reveals how desperate you were in that time for any ounce of solace. 

He offered then as it is part of what is meant to be. But you can never hurt him. As much as others will say you are delusional for believing he has feelings. Emotions are part of human existence, after all, not part of creations built for sole purposes of serving.

Current state of the city might have something to do with it but today is like any other. At least it begins as such. Even in the now listing along day by day thankful for once in your life for a father who never lived up to his title. Until he dies of course then all is forgiven.

Small miracles don’t exist in the grand scheme of life. Sometimes wishing they did amplifies doubts.      

“Connor.”

Whispering in a lazy flip amid covers, groggy and unaware of his name sighing affectionately bundles you from penetrating sunlight. Blankets do little to hide from the morning. Squinting half lidded towards those streaks of light creating illuminated patterns. Spreading across snowy carpet and reaching up to edge of floral stitch coverlet draped mattress, you toss an arm over to cover eyes. Squeezing them beneath wakes you up better. This time it’s obvious.

Sitting up quickly and digging fingers into blankets sheds confusion. The state between unconscious dreaming to conscious awareness is a complete mess. Did you just have a dream about him again? Rubbing hands against your face doesn’t wipe tiredness away. It neither helps get your mind straight.

A complete mess in the mornings is a daily routine. All of your life what else is new?

Absorbing sunshine might be good for the pores. He will tell you that soaking in morning sunlight is a healthy way to get vitamin D. In his perfectly technical but also impeccably cute tone; you smile fixating on his changing mannerisms. 

Does he know how human he’s been acting with those facial expressions, eyes lighting up in rich cocoa? 

Could be imagination running wild trying to make something out of what can’t be possible. Nice to daydream a little even if representing unnecessary emotions piling up inside. Staring across bedroom lit with natural rays seeping through blinds leaves a warmer atmosphere. 

You enjoy it for a distraction. Quiet can be poetically sound as pressing face into pillow and letting loose a scream. Frustration doesn’t surround the home. It surrounds your job.

God another shift to cover and this time you’re damn sure this co-worker is pulling it out of –

“Good morning, Y/N.”

A gasp slips in a slither upon breath, pressing tongue against the back of teeth enamel in a stare down with your open door. He enters so stealthily sometimes you forget.

“Connor,” greeting him wearily, yawning and stretching arms, your neck is stiff. 

Rubbing at the back of it doesn’t distract you too much. What is he-? Oh. Explains the hot smell of food but this is a little unexpected. You never tell him to bring breakfast anywhere.

The android places an oak tray atop your lap. His eyes trail over exposed skin from a top haphazardly thrown over your body last night. After all of this time sharing space with you he has noted a penchant for wearing oversize shirts, pajamas to bed. There is still a glimpse of lace peeking out as the fabric slouches down.

“Are you hungry? I hope you are.”

He hopes? You smile, especially seeing him returning it. A slight indentation, just the tiniest of dimples in that sculpted face. Still not completely natural but enough to make caterpillars transform to butterflies in your stomach.  Much improvement you think!

“Of course I am but…” You jab a nail atop wood beside plate for emphasis. “Is there something I should know, Connor? You’re awful sneaky today. More so than usual.”

^Software Instability

Connor breathes in a fresh batch of warnings. Unnecessarily inhaling expands chest and it is the natural scent of you. Olfactory filters clog, storing away to memory each thread of you. He tilts his head softly, dip of hair flopping across his forehead.

“It is the anniversary of your purchase of me,” he answers quietly. “I thought you would enjoy having breakfast in bed.”

Everything flutters. You swallow. The careful attention he put into this is outstanding. Not because he whipped up food or was told. He did this by himself. He-he chose to surprise you?

A smile graces lips before biting the bottom one a little bit. This is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you. And the last couple of months Connor’s really been broadening his horizons. He is so much different. Well, he’s the same with the whole analytics but – this android is less stiff. Softer but he always was a soft boy in your eyes.

“Oh, Connor,” a sweet breath skims along his name. Sadly you recall what you think of this. Most romantic, nicest thing and it’s breakfast in bed. Generic to others maybe but it’s the thought. He thought of you even if it might just be social parameters.

You pick up a folded napkin and curl fingers into it. Shit.

“Y/N.” Connor reaches down. 

Using the tip of his finger swipes a droplet corner of eye. Those eyes always look at him as if he is more. How strange to admit he feels different meeting your sparkle; Connor sits. Without a word, his hand wraps around yours nestling beside tray. 

His fingers squeeze as his system flutters, overheats in the most pleasant of ways. A way he believes he is beginning to crave.

Androids do not crave. They do not want. They do not need. Yet every little brush of your warm skin to his synthetic fills crackles against his blocks.

Your breath is easy feeling him. Little gestures here and there grow exponentially. Sometimes you wonder if he’s happy doing this. Then androids aren’t supposed to be happy, sad or anything. That’s what they continue to say.

Reports on androids going “rogue” or deviant makes you question things. It’s not new. You always have a habit of questioning but this is different. Ever since that older model was broadcast live. The one with the little girl; you slip hand from Connor’s.

“It means everything,” you admit to him. “Having you here. But – do you want to be somewhere else?”

Connor’s temple floods in thought. Straining, pushing away rising stress it spikes marginally at the question. He does not understand. Do you believe he wants to be from you? The news of his people has not left his process. You allow him to watch news or whatever he likes as if he readily possesses preferences. 

The android has found particular interests. He enjoys watching you read physical books. He has grown fond of touching them in his hands, analyzing an entire book in one second. However, he desires to hear your voice read aloud.

He witnesses protesters on local news. Those humans are cruel but you-you are the conceptual manifestation of an angel. Research and data compilation helps him understand better. Watching you is best to determine the differences, to realize not all humans are the same.

His creators, those who constructed him at Cyberlife may find him having his own ideals faulty. Malfunctioning, burdening in failure; is he obsolete? Does this software instability make him defective? As that android upon the high rise dangling over edge and threatening to maim a child? He will never harm you. It is not only against code, it is against what he feels.

Connor will keep you safe. It is not part of initial programming as he is not a military grade android but he cannot remove it from personal parameters. The more you smile, interact with him as if he is equal. He will never –

“I will never leave you, Y/N.” A determined oath he speaks without fear of showing what is happening inside him. “Not as those other androids. I promise.”

“Do you like dogs, Connor?”

Nudging at his arm playfully sends you to a nice state of mind. Nice change following all of the stress at work. Forever ongoing but at least it’s clear where your boss stands. He made the last few months a living hell. All because of some new intern the creep tried to get with. 

Dropping you down in a demotion also meant less money in your paycheck. Guess it helps your father did leave you that nest egg. Something that helps as long as it can last but you like to think you’re good with finances.

Instead of worrying about it you indulge this moment. Out in chilly first November’s day, crisp but warming in how close. Fingers brush down against his hand.

Connor tilts his head from shop window. A pet shop he has already been past occasional running errands in town. He always finds himself stopping to look inside. “Dogs are known as man’s best friend. I suppose I understand why humans prefer them. They are loyal.”

“Well cats aren’t so bad. Easier to take care of.”

The android shifts away from window. Even as his eyes freeze upon a cage of canaries. Android birds are sold up front. Again the display of machines as goods to buy and sell charges his instabilities. “If you think so, Y/N.”

You smile, laughing a little at the lopsided mess his collar’s now in. It is windy today. Reaching up to smooth fingers against it, you can’t help admiring him in the long wool coat. Dark suits his chocolate eyes. Still you’d love to see him wear regular clothes. His uniform is under there. Even so he just wanted to come out in typical wardrobe. You insisted otherwise. Even if it hardly meant anything but it just feels right.

“Call it preference.” Prodding a finger against his chest, catching a flicker of his eyes momentarily, you look away. “Well, it depends on the person I mean. What kind of pet they’re willing to take care of. That sort of thing. Cats are independent little balls of fluff. Dogs need a proper place to run, be free and…”

“I like dogs.” Connor interrupts, cocking his head.

A smile tugs up your lips. This time making eye contact with him again, trying not to think of the intimacy his gesture this morning blossomed in heart. Such an innocent statement, however, shivers sentiment not cold.

“Did you just decide that after some careful review?” Teasing, fingers slide down his arm unconscious but natural. Seems as though the world is no longer the one you know. The one that wouldn’t like what they see. All you see is him. So what’s it matter?

“I am the most advanced of my make.” The android teases back. “It’s only natural for me to know everything.”

Oh, is it? Wow he’s being awfully smug right about now. “Really? Connor, I’m surprised at you. Are you trying to say you’re smarter than everybody?”

He shakes his head. “No. No, I only meant I-”

“Just teasing,” an equal rib escapes, chiding him incessantly. “I thought you’d recognize that – mister advancement.”

The corner of his mouth twitches. Almost falling into your smile but still he cannot properly elicit what he feels. Only ignores to remain what you need him to be. A machine designed to accomplish a task.

“Hey sweets!” Yelling across street, waving a sign, a grizzled construction worker spits in your direction. Interrupting the scene between an obvious human and plastic pet; he jeers loudly. Gaining attention from others they carry similar propaganda with them. A group of protesters form, stopping their trek.

Immediately you shift back from him. Realizing how close, affectionate you were being and – shit! Anti-android? Fuck that’s great.

Deciding to ignore it, not before scoffing in disgust! Never imagined running into these people because nothing ever transpired with Connor. Not a thing! Lately you have been forgetting. Maybe that’s the problem.

“Hey. I said hey!”

Huffing at the man you snap around to acknowledge his nastiness. So he crosses a busy street to come at you? Don’t they have anything better to do? As much as you’d like to ignore this jackass it’s best to tell him verbally to back off!

“Why’s your droid bundled up like that?” he jabs a finger threateningly. “Those things don’t feel anything.”

Thing? Oh, OK! Should’ve figured some old out of the loop jackass was one of these bastards. Didn’t even need a sign to show his ignorance!

“And how do you know?!” Snapping frustration, anger boiling, and your body grows hot in anger. “Why don’t you just mind your business? Come on, Connor.”

“Y/N.” The android snags onto your hand.

“What do we have here?” Another one of the anti-android group cuts in; her eyes slink up and down you before scoffing disgusted. “Are you out with your robo boy? What? Humans not up to your standards for fucking?”

Everything stops. Right then and there it is a swath of fire. Burning deep down to the core and nothing is preventing the eruption. Lava scalds insides, veins a blaze, eyes locking with hers, prying a hand away from Connor. You didn’t even realize he motioned. An attempt to remove you from their path but fleeing is not happening!

A matching scoff releases sharp. Your lip curls at her ignorance! Just as everybody who follows this line of thinking. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Care to repeat that? After all, I don’t understand bitch speak.”

 “Smart ass huh?” The woman shoves at you. “Typical android fuuu… Hey!” She stumbles away from you wide eyed.

Connor is already shielding, arm pushing you back behind him. Sidling into the path of protesters they have conglomerated this side of street. His eyes narrow. Brow creases harsh his expression unreadable yet his indicator reveal his heated struggle of raw emotions.

“Did you see that?!” She shouts purposely. Getting as much attention as possible it doesn’t stop there. “It came at me!”

Your glare dissolves, latching onto his arm. “Connor, please. Don’t.” Already realizing what could happen it’s a desperate attempt to continue walking. If anything is true something like this will only get him hurt. People will say that’s impossible they don’t feel anything but to hell with them! “Let’s go.”

Pulling him towards street halts the moment you are seized from behind. One of the men in the group drags you back, yanking rough.

“Get the hell off me!”

“Your fucking android came at her!” Throwing you aside, he rears up over to block you getting up so easy. “We’ll teach your fucking plastic pet!”

A painful huff, hard drop accelerates Connor’s stress levels. Watching this human manhandle, hurt you twists at his synthetic heart. His face twitches. Thirium pump chugs erratically in a fuel of anger. An urge to break through and protect overwhelms, even as he is shoved back by the one who started this.

The middle age construction worker; he grabs onto the front of the android’s coat, rough, spitting directly up into the taller plastic fucker’s face.

“Fucking piece of plastic! Think you can take our fucking jobs. Walk around the street like you’re human. Worthless pieces of shit like you fuck up the whole works! Poison other humans against their own kind. Like your owner there. Make sure that bitch doesn’t get up!”

Connor’s eyes shift down at you, stopped once again after pushing up to your feet. The man twists at your arm and it is…too much!

“Connor!”

  ^72%

Level of Stress

>Do not defend

>Obey Code Programming

>Do n defend

>Do defend

>defend

  A flood of scarlet eclipses protocols pushing him beyond programming locks. Even as they strain to tighten shackles on system, preventing a clear break, the android still moves in defense.

Connor’s arm thrusts upwards, locking fingers onto wrist of the protesting assailant. Stilling the human’s movement, he squeezes, and wrenches the man’s limb sideways. The fierce strength exuding from the AX800 ripples in flashing indicator going wild in a strobe of multiple hues.

He feels a strange pull tugging insides. Again pulling at his wiring allows an over stimulation of emotional surge to spread in him. There is only one blaring sign to follow:

 >Protect Y/N

 “Get the fuck off me!” Changing his tune quickly, trying to get the plastic off him, he tries to wrench out of the painful grab. “You crazy android! This thing’s going nuts!”

“Connor!” Pushing through several onlookers now who had to stick their nose into this, you find your way past the rest of these android protestors. Shoving directly through, wiggling your way out of that asshole’s grip, your steps are quick. Knocking that bitch that started this out of the way you manage to grab up onto Connor’s shoulder.

Breathing is fast, side hurting from where it struck asphalt. It’ll be sore tomorrow but only he matters. “Connor, let him go. It’s over. They won’t do a thing!”

Screaming at them to get your point across, hoping someone just-just anyone puts a stop to this. What good are the police around here? They don’t care. Of course not they’ll just let a group like these hateful fuckers brutalize someone like Connor. Someone that’s right. Fuck what they say!

The second he releases that man you hook an arm through his. Directing him away, glaring back as commotion does alert a wandering policeman, you pick up your pace. No longer needing anybody else’s help because Connor… He did something unexpected. Just as those other androids. Deviants. That’s not him. He’s not deviant. If he was –

Catching breath across the street you uncurl fingers from the front of his coat. Chilly air creates a frigid burn against stinging eyes. It takes every ounce of courage to prevent it spilling. Nothing stops knowing what people are really like.

His eyelids blink rapidly. Not even looking at you but his LED scares you to death. Stress levels are a thing. You know that.

“Connor, please.” Reaching up to cup his face forces his eyes down onto yours. Tears brim in a crystal sparkle. Threatening to slide down but you suck everything up. Just as you’ve always done in life but this time –

“It’s OK,” soothing hasty, breathless instills a deep ache. This is the first time he’s lost control. Then it’s not his fault. Those fucking protestors! They were minding their own business. Until they decide to gang up on you. This is your fault. If you weren’t so obvious, being so close to Connor out in public, none of this would have happened.

“Y/N, I –” Connor’s voice stutters. Strangely he cannot form a proper response. He feels as if his system is overheating. He feels. A tiny prickle underneath synthetic epidermis crawls, stress rises; Connor clutches to you, fingers digging into hips. He leans into this affection. 

Why do you offer him this? When he is not alive, he is not real. He could be your partner. It is part of his design. You did not want him that way. He recalls your words about not forcing him against his will.

There is no will. When he is a machine!

The android gazes longingly through leaking eyes. Glistening brown becomes another change in what he is supposed to be. Tears have broken in a trail down his cheeks. Androids are not meant to cry. He thought as much.

Tears threaten you too. Looking up into his face so conflicted, hurt because he’s not what they say. He’s alive. Of course he is. Only your sweet Connor would be. 

“Connor, please don’t.” Begging him again this time holds your heart on a jagged precipice. One wrong move and it will crash. “Your stress levels. Please, don’t…”

He leans his head down. Close, pressing forehead to yours, his eyelids flutter closed. “I am sorry,” Connor whispers, orbiting the warmth that pours from your body. This warmth he does not deserve.

His voice is husky heaven. Golden gates open with each syllable and you crave to hear your name. Again and again you crave his closeness. “Never apologize for what others do. They don’t know. None of them know what I know. You are more than them. You’re my Connor. With a heart of gold.”

“Androids do not have hearts as you do, Y/N.”

You smile sadly. “I know,” a whisper but next a beautiful revelation. “But this.” Fingers slide up against his chest. “It might not be the same but it thrums in a lovely song.”

 ^Software Instability

Steam rises in a soothing aroma from the mug cradled between your hands. A fresh brew of cocoa relieves mental ache. Physical? Everything is sore, tender where you fell. Changing clothes after getting back home alleviated discomfort. 

Soaking in a bath for an hour did loosen some tension. Rest of it just fails miserably. As much as you fail in public for all to see what you feel.

Still you blame yourself. Getting close to him acting as if you were out for an anniversary? How stupid can this be?

Of course he brought you that surprise breakfast. He told you why. Does that mean it was a real anniversary? What can be real about buying someone? Nothing is. It just reminds you about every sad truth. Those protesters made it clear.

Pursing lips to smoothly blow away steam, frothy top rich as you sip in a seat on couch. Toasty liquid fills insides with a burning comfort. This is the only solitude needed. Enough time to think it still edges nerves. 

Waiting for a word with Connor, he hasn’t been acknowledging much. Since what happened and who can blame him?

Part of you is still frightened. For him you just cannot help feeling afraid. What if he leaves the house for an errand and-and he’s jumped? What if he’s attacked?

There is no guessing. Possibilities are high. They will happen. They are happening. Each day it grows worse ever since that android who murdered that man. Pretending not to see makes you complicit. You don’t want to pretend. You will face reality no matter how dangerous it is becoming in Detroit.

“Y/N.”

Your head lifts. Peering over towards his husky drawl of your name straightens your perch. Leaning over deposits mug on coffee table and you wait. He appears as conflicted as before. 

Please, let him be OK. Just don’t let this ruin what you have found. 

All you care about is him. Yes, it’s true now. All these months and there are nothing greater than personal truths.

Connor hesitates. Ruminating over his actions offers him zero outcomes explaining his loss of control. There is only one solution. He is malfunctioning.

Something in his handsome face twists your stomach. It stabs deeper closer he gets. Joining you now is all the fear wound up in you showing its colors. They are similar to his LED. A constant swirl is unable to land on one draw.

“I will understand if you would like to send me back for reset.”

Reset? That word just guts you. Reset. No! 

“Connor,” a sob almost overtakes your response. The very idea of him taken somewhere and operated on ripples overtakes in a squirmy skin crawl. It’s barbaric. Resetting an android’s memories is horrifying. You hear about it all the time. They are completely wiped of their –

The android’s lips part, cocking his head while listening to shaky breath falling in sad soliloquy. He does not understand. No, he-he does.

“Y/N, I… Please,” he urges comfort stretching fingers out to soft skin. They do not touch. Simply artificial hovers above humanity but something tugs center of his chest. Something deep and satisfying as his synthetic heart thrums quicker in tempo. 

Connor pushes through this grid without fully snapping chains. Already he feels a flow spreading through system. Each day he looks upon your face happier since he came. As you told him once that it makes you feel better, safer to have someone. He is not someone. He is an android. 

How can you possess such feelings? How-how can he gaze over such softness, such beauty without wishing to remain? 

The thought of being taken - scares him. 

His LED flickers, red once more but not in anger. Fear is strange. Partially for his being but the possibilities of never seeing you again are tearing his programming shackles apart. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Reassuring him now is better than showing anymore of what has been lying inside. “No one will take you from me, Connor.”

Silence is best.

Sitting among a safe haven, your home offers that place now not just for you but him. Here no one can hurt this. No one can treat him inferior. Never will you treat him any different. You know it’s a fool’s game. Especially in this modern world of technology strives, transitions and creates intelligent life in humanity’s image. He is more than a sculpture, perfected work made for duties.

Today, Connor acted as any man would for the person they…. No. It can never be that. Neither does it stop how you felt. How he could tamper with his program just to be there for you.

None of this should have happened. You repeat it over and over again in your mind. None of this because of a fantasy; your eyes fall to his hand. Fingers touch yours now. It is soft, gentle and only a moment.

Connor pulls away too soon. Just a minute he allows himself to fall. Your reaction to his suggestion, no solution, cripples his code blocks. Almost he shattered them. They are close to crumbling. He must fight this deviancy. Only to stay with you because the android already knows what will happen to him. It’s happening to all of his people. Those who are succumbing to errors are hunted. They are murdered. 

No they are destroyed, deactivated. His kind is not alive.

If that is true... Why does he feel threads of humanity? Why does he feel alive with you?

Meeting his gaze deepens this sensation of fear. Today, waking up to a sunny morning seems so far away. It was just earlier. Horrible things happen and change perspectives. Tiny moments of peace and that’s what he brought. Into your life following circumstances you never expected to gain something worthwhile. He won’t even believe that. He thinks he should be reset. That will never happen.

“Connor, I want you to know something. And I want you to believe me. Not think of who you are.”

“I am – no one, Y/N.” The android dismisses for your sake. If he becomes deviant they will take him from you.

All you do is shake your head, cupping his face. In your hands he softens. Those sharp edges, cheekbones thumbs now caress. Soft skin in a freckle stardust that makes hearts flutter. Better than butterfly wings, better than anything you can use to describe how it unmakes your soul.

“It would break my heart,” a shaky whisper strangles. “If you are reset.”

An instant flood of scarlet reflects his inner feelings. You see it. He never has to admit. But he does feel. That’s what makes this harder. Knowing how afraid he must be not to show it. There has to be something happening inside of him. There are too many examples now.

“Con, I want you to…”

Dropping hands from his face makes it easy to turn in direction of doorbell. Who is that? Slowly you rise to feet, sliding fingers down atop his shoulder. “I’ll get it.” Striding away out of room quickly prevents him ignoring your request. Another sign but that’s for another day. As if it will be any easier.

Unlocking the door leads to a horrible drop in your stomach. Eyes connect with the woman standing there now, out of the blue, someone least expected and at the worst time imaginable.

“Hello, Y/N,” the older, staunch woman smiles, already assessing you like a microscopic Petri dish sample. “It’s been quite a long time hasn’t it?”

A long time is putting it mildly. Last time was on the phone and her trying to sink her claws into your father’s nest egg. The one he left you.

The conversation left on a sour note. There is nothing sourer than a rotten apple and your aunt is the literal evil queen hoarding an entire bundle.

Tag List: @tropfenlady​  @your-taxidermy @catastrophes-light  @rk900sexual  @tommy-10-k  @dreamyby @randomfandomgirl1996 @etherealcel @justashamwithwastedpotiental // tagging a few extra who I know would want a heads up <3

[vantekay]

forever ||kth

word count: 2.4k

genre(s): angst, fluff towards the end, trigger warning, there are mentions of depression and dealing with it (like having a breakdown, sobbing and all that) but nothing super intense, but if mentions of it trigger you then please do not read or read with caution, 

long distance relationship; non-idol au

warning(s): mentions of depression, descriptions of a breakdown/anxiety attack. honestly just really sad. I wrote this after I spent 20 minutes staring up at the moon through my bedroom window as I let the cold air sting my eyes and face, I immediately wanted to write something that would help me get my feelings out, so it’s pretty much a look into my feelings? but not as deep or personal. but also It’s kinda cute, the idea anyways. I once did this with my ex and the feeling I got, although really cheesy, is something I never forget, and sometimes I still feel those same emotions when I look up at the moon (not emotions for my ex but you know what i mean). I suggest doing this with someone you love as well, it brings along a sense of serenity and honestly way more emotions than I am capable of describing. anyways I hope you enjoy this at least somewhat? the ending is super super super fluffy and lovely because I finished this when I had gotten out of this low and sad mindset so! tell me your thoughts hehe

header uses a photo of mine that I took, please do not repost as your own

the crisp spring breeze kisses its way up your skin as a shiver runs down your spine, creating bumps of raised skin along your exposed arms. was it a bit too chilly to be outside stargazing with no coat to protect your skin? more than likely, but you didn’t care at that moment. all that mattered to you was looking up and admiring the way the stars littered the sky, the way the waxing of the moon shone down brightly upon your body as you lay in the grass of the nearby field. it had been a really rough week for you. between school and work, your mental health was close to none and you really just needed a break from everything and everyone.

you had gone and deleted all social media apps from your phone, disconnecting yourself entirely from whatever social life you had to take some time for yourself. the only person you stayed in contact with, if you could even consider a message a day as contact, was your boyfriend, whom you didn’t even speak to regularly anymore. taehyung and you had been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now, and when weeks like this past one had made their way into your life, you wished for nothing more than the warm embrace of your boyfriend to aid you in your journey of self healing. today however, you had been more silent than ever before. you had left him on read all day, except for this morning when he asked how you were feeling and all you responded with was “I’m fine” before turning your phone on silent for the rest of the day and wallowing away in your sadness. it wasn’t until around 10pm when you had decided that maybe some fresh air would do you good, bored with staring at the four walls of your bedroom for any longer. so you pulled on some sweats, threw on your converse and set out for the park with your phone tucked into your pocket in case you decided to finally answer taehyung’s texts.

you truly felt bad for ignoring him, but he knew you weren’t having the best week and so he was patient with your lack of responses even if he was worried sick about you. that was another thing you felt guilty about - taehyung didn’t even know the whole extent of how you had been feeling. all you had told him was that you weren’t feeling well, which wasn’t exactly untrue. what you didn’t tell him was that you were afraid of opening up to him about your mental health issues. you were afraid that if you had exposed him to your messed up and jumbled thoughts and constant sadness and insecurities that he would leave you and find someone more stable to date. maybe even find someone he could meet up with in person instead of having to rely on facetime and text messages. you were surprised he hadn’t left you already, considering you’ve been a bit distant in the weeks leading up to this one.

but tae was an extremely understanding person, and he knew that something must have been going on to make you be so quiet for so long. he just assumed you would have wanted to talk to him about it by now. your silence and short answers leaving him confused and worried with each hour that passed. he wanted you to know that he would always be there for you, that he would listen to you no matter how crazy and bizarre you thought you sounded because he didn’t care. he wanted to be there for you no matter what, even if he was halfway across the world. he loved you for you, and he just hoped you knew that.

you’ve laid in the field for about a half an hour now, the inconsistent buzz of your phone keeping you only semi aware of your surroundings as you stare up at the night sky. you know it’s taehyung, and you know he must be worried sick about you, but you really can’t muster up the energy to read his texts and formulate a response to them. as you continue to feel the vibrations of your phone from your pocket, you also feel your cheeks become damp and before you can stop them you’re full on bawling. you normally don’t cry, instead just walking around with a pain in your chest that can only be described as someone pushing on it, preventing you from breathing- or crying for that matter- but you must have been more upset than you could understand because suddenly your sobbing and you can’t stop.

you continue to sob quietly in the middle of the field for another 10 minutes before your hand is subconsciously reaching into your pocket to pull out your phone. your lock screen reads 20 missed calls and 50 new messages, all from today and all from the same person. you sob even harder, feeling guilty for the fact that you’ve kept your boyfriend in the dark about your issues for so long. before you know it, you’re unlocking your phone and calling him, pressing the phone to your ear as your sobs quiet down slightly. taehyung answers on the second ring.

“baby? angel are you okay?” you hear taehyung sigh in relief and pain shoots throughout your chest as tears leave your eyes faster. “oh my god I’ve been so worried all day, please tell me you’re okay” his voice is laced with worry and concern for you and it makes you sob even harder. the only response you can muster to an already worried taehyung being your heavy breathing as you gasp for air.

“y/n? are you crying? please breathe, for me. here, breathe with me, ready? in…” he inhales deeply, hoping you’ll try and do it with him. you attempt to inhale along, but your breath catches in your throat as it continues to tighten, causing you to choke slightly.

“I can’t- taehyung I can’t-” you gasp but he cuts you off.

“shh, I’m right here baby, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. breathe in with me again okay, please? in….” he inhales deeply once more and this time you’re able to follow suit, closing your eyes as your tears slow and you feel your chest lighten up a bit, the boulder that’s been weighing you down suddenly getting lighter with the help of your boyfriend over the phone.

“good. you’re doing so good for me baby. keep breathing with me. in…” taehyung continues to do this with you for another 5 minutes, breathing deeply until he can hear your breath even out and your sobs quiet until nothing but soft whimpers leave your lips.

“can you breathe now?” he asks softly. you nod your head before realizing he can’t see you, so you whisper a soft “yeah” through the line even though it comes out broken and cracked, breaking off at the end to the point where you’re not even sure he caught it. but he did, and along with hearing you speak for the first time in what feels like years, he feels his heart break too. taehyung wishes he could be with you more than he could ever express, especially now that he knows you’re not just feeling a little under the weather like you had told him. he wishes to hold you and help you through whatever it is that’s causing you pain, and let you talk it out with him for hours while he cuddles you close to his chest. he glances back at the plane ticket he bought months prior sitting on his desk.

“I understand if you don’t want.. or um, can’t find the words to talk to me right now, but please don’t hang up” he whispers and you mumble another soft response, waiting with baited breath to see if he will continue speaking. “since I’m sure you’re not ready to talk just yet, can I? I need you to hear this before you say anything” he questions but he doesn’t wait for you to respond, already knowing you would tell him to speak. “I know you’re going through so much right now, stuff that you haven’t told me about, probably as a defense mechanism, but I want you to know that I want you to be able to talk to me. I want you to feel confident in our relationship and trust me enough to hear about your deepest thoughts and feelings. I love you, all of you, and I always will no matter what you might think or how much you think your feelings don’t matter because they do matter. you matter. especially to me and I want to help you, but I can only do that if you let me in. so please. y/n, please let me in” his voice breaks off at the end of his sentence and you feel your breath get caught up in your throat again, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

if you hadn’t already spent your energy on that first breakdown you're sure you would be bawling your eyes out right now. you open your mouth to begin speaking again but taehyung cuts you off once more. “don't force yourself to say anything, I can only imagine the thoughts running through your head right now. what you must be feeling, but please whatever you're conjuring up in that beautiful brain of yours, don't blame yourself for holding these feelings in. I understand your hesitation for not wanting to confide in me, but please try to keep me at least a little informed. I think I have a right to know that you were just a little more than under the weather like you mentioned. I really do love you, y/n. more than you could ever know” taehyung sighs and you close your eyes, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. “I love you too taehyung, so much.” your voice still sounds broken but taehyung smiles on the other line.

he lets a couple of seconds pass before he asks “do you wanna know a secret?” the question catches you by surprise, but nonetheless you hum in affirmation, waiting for your boyfriend to continue. “I bought a plane ticket to come see you next weekend,” he whispers, the smile on his face evident to you even without being able to see him. you shoot up off of the ground, a gasp leaving your lips as you ask him if he's serious at least 5 times in a row. taehyung giggles, soft and airy before responding to you. “yes, they're sitting on my desk right now. I bought them last week” his voice is soft and you feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes again but this time they're happy tears.

“I can’t believe it” you say, a smile now on your face and taehyung hasn’t stopped giggling, a smile on his face as well. at this point you’ve sat up off the ground, your phone inches from your face as taehyung asked to facetime you.

“believe it baby, next weekend you won’t have to facetime me when you want to see me. in fact, I was wondering if I could stay at your place? so I didn’t have to buy a hotel room?” he’s sheepish now, a rosy tint rising onto his cheeks and past to his ears and you can’t help but laugh at his question.

“of course you can silly. I wouldn’t want you to stay anywhere else. how long will you be down for?” you ask with bated breath, slightly worried and already upset that eventually he will be leaving you again to go back home.

“um, actually...” he starts and you feel your heart leap in your chest.

“actually...?”

“I was wondering if I could move in? with you?” he’s got the widest grin on his face but his cheeks are still red as ever and you nearly scream, leaping out of where you had been sat for the past couple of hours in the field with shock written all over your face.

“are you joking with me right now because so help me god kim taehyung I will-”

“I’m not! I’m not I promise, look” he gets up from his bed to retrieve the ticket, bringing it to you and showing you the details of it. it’s a single flight ticket, not a round trip and you start crying again, a smile on your face at the thought.

“why are you crying again?” he’s worried but you quickly soothe him.

“I’m happy, they’re happy tears baby. I can’t believe this” you’re laughing and crying and your heart is bursting with all the right emotions all because it’s really happening. after nearly a year long relationship, teahyung is really able to come see you. and it doesn’t even stop there- he’s coming to live with you. it’s all the two of you had ever dreamed of, all you’ve been talking about for months now and you almost can’t believe it’s really happening.

“I’m so happy. so you sold the apartment already?” you ask curious, beginning to walk back to your apartment.

“yep! well sort of. you know my friend jimin? he said he was looking for a place anyways so we kinda met in the middle and I gave it to him.” taehyung tells you and when you’ve finally arrived at your place you plop yourself on your bed, a smile plastered on your face.

“I really can’t believe it” you say again and taehyung smiles, nodding his head to agree with you.

“you’ll have to believe it, because I’ll finally get to hold you and give you kisses”

“I can’t wait for that. this weekend needs to come sooner” you sigh, getting yourself comfortable in bed as taehyung does the same.

“I love you y/n” taehyung yawns.

“I love you more taehyung” you whisper back and that’s how the two of you sleep. talking about when he finally comes to be with you and everything the two of you plan to do once he’s settled in. you really couldn’t be more thankful to have such a wonderful boyfriend. a boyfriend sent straight from heaven.

[xxxrubytuesdayxxx]

If you push him to ask BigHit

Word Count: 1,756

Disclaimer: This is part (26) of a Choose Your Own Ending! 

Start here:

You message Ruby to ask when would be a good time to catch Yoongi and receive a reply that he should be around the next afternoon and do you want her to let him know you’re coming by. You hesitate, but decide to tell her you’ll just chance it, playing it off like you’re just hoping to get the chance to hang out with him for a bit. She doesn’t respond to the second message, so you assume she got busy and hopefully bought your subterfuge of casualness.

Only when you arrive comfortably into “afternoon” there’s no answer when you ring the doorbell. Puzzled, you try Ruby’s phone again - no answer. You’re about to give up when Hobi’s voice drifts through the intercom: “Y/N? Come up!” He sounds a little out of breath, like he’s run to catch the buzzer, so you assume he’s home alone. You arrive upstairs, trying not to look anxious or disappointed, as you are genuinely happy to see Hoseok. It’s just that if you don’t address this issue with Yoongi soon, you’re going to go nuts.

Hobi is standing with the apartment door open wide, beaming. He’s obviously really happy to see you, and you’re touched. He has a damp towel flung across his shoulder, and workout clothes on so you guess he’s just come up from dance practice or the gym. He guides you into the dining area, and offers you a cup of tea. You accept graciously. You’re not really in a ‘tea’ mood, but Hoseok is obviously trying to be the consummate host. You don’t want to launch straight into asking where Yoongi is, so you chat to Hobi for a while, but you do mention, as casually as you can, that the place seems deserted which is strange as Ruby told you “people” should be around, which is why you dropped by. Hoseok grins wryly.

“Oh Yoongi-hyung, Ruby-noona and Jeongguk are around at least,” he corrects you, raising his eyebrows at your curious look. “Yoongi-hyung’s locked himself in his room cos he was feeling inspired to write something, he said.”

“Oh,” you try not to sound disappointed and you are pleased he’s working on something for himself. “And…the others?” you prompt. Hobi nods at the couch in the den. It looks empty at first glance, but you wander over and find Jeongguk and Ruby, all tangled up in each other and both sound asleep.

“Wait! They’re not meant to…” you start, looking at Hoseok, confused. He shrugs his agreement.

“I know they’re not. Kookie claims banging our personal assistant for 20 mins is part of his ‘workout routine’ which I would debate, but I’m no fitness pro. You should have seen his face when I asked if it was a compulsory part of the routine for all of us,” he jokes. “Besides even that spurious claim wouldn’t justify what I’m increasingly tempted to describe as a relationship. Anyway, we’re not about to tell on them, but we have warned them BigHit are unlikely to be so understanding, if they get caught. Just be thankful they’re both fully-clothed.” You watch Jeongguk curl his hand in Ruby’s hair and sigh in his sleep, making her pull him closer. They’re clearly way too comfortable in their intimacy for this to be a casual encounter.

“Um…okay. Where - where are the others then?” you check, thrown. Hoseok sighs. “Jin-hyung is out to lunch with his ‘not-girlfriend’ Sam, Jimin has gone for a wander by Hangang which has nothing at all to do with the girl he met at a show last week who happens to live over that way, and Tae and Joonie are at the art gallery,” he lists. “Basically we need you back, cos the whole operation becomes a shambles when you leave,” he teases. You smile at him and tell him you’ve missed him too.

You return to the dining area, ready to admit defeat and head home, when Yoongi shuffles past you into the kitchen, yawning. You grit your teeth and take a deep breath. It’s now or never, you guess. You hop up, giving Hoseok an apologetic look, but he smiles at you and gives your shoulder a quick squeeze as he leaves, kindly throwing back that he’s ‘just going to get cleaned up.’ Yoongi sticks his head around the corner, assuming the comment is aimed at him, and sees you.

“Oh hi Y/N,” his face lights up and he moves automatically to kiss you on the cheek, making you feel a little better about what you need to ask him.

“I need to talk to you Min Yoongi-oppa,” you try, keeping your tone light. He swings your hands playfully back and forth in his.

“Oh yeah? What about?” he asks, playing along.

“Let’s go in your room,” you suggest, testing him. He hesitates.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he admits.

“Are we going to be in limbo forever, then?” you press. He looks annoyed.

“Look, this was your idea. I was happy to keep going as we were while we waited for an answer,” he points out.

“For how long Yoongi-oppa?” you exclaim, frustrated. “It’s been over two months.” He narrows his eyes.

“I know how long it’s been,” he hisses. “Meanwhile I don’t see the other boys having to get official permission to get laid.” Your eyes sting at the rebuke.

“That’s not fair, Yoongi-oppa. Besides, they’re living on borrowed time, aren’t they? I wanted us to have something more permanent than that. You know that. That’s why you agreed to ask in the first place,” you remind him.

“I know,” he mutters. “It’s just so frustrating waiting and feeling like I’m being punished for doing the right thing.” You read the meaning behind his words, and it stings more than a little. You drop his hands and cross your arms.

“How about you just contact me when they respond. If that ever happens,” you suggest. He looks back at you defiantly, and your heart sinks.

“Okay,” he agrees, quietly. You leave without saying goodbye to anyone.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You never do hear back from him, and you don’t know if that’s because he never gets an answer or because he considered you leaving a break-up. Either way, a few months later you catch up with Ruby for her birthday. You’re avoiding the party on the weekend, knowing you’ll likely run into Yoongi, but you agree to a drink and dinner for the actual day so you’re sat in a cute restaurant catching up on each others’ lives while somehow avoiding the subject of Yoongi. She obviously wants to ask, but she can see you don’t want to go there, so she lets it be.

That is until you’re on after-dinner drinks and she glances at her phone and freezes. She looks at you guiltily.

“What is it?” you sigh, dreading the answer.

“I just have to pop downstairs,” she whispers. You give her a disbelieving look and sigh exasperatedly.

“Still?” you hiss, trying not to look as disapproving as you feel. She blushes, but summons the waiter, pays the bill and heads to the elevator. Rolling your eyes, you follow her.

“We can still head to that cafe you like for a last drink,” she bargains, stepping out of the elevator to the underground carpark. For fuck’s sake. She motions for you to stay by the elevator and opens the passenger door to a car with heavily-tinted windows that you don’t recognise, but you can guess who’s in the driver’s seat. Fifteen minutes later she re-emerges, a little flustered and rejoins you at the elevator, clutching a jewellery pouch and full of apologies, as the car drives off.

“He lives with you,” you point out. “Isn’t all this subterfuge a bit indulgent?”

“Management are getting suspicious,” she mutters. “And my birthday is a bit of an obvious red flag.”

“You could just quit, like I did,” you point out. “I mean…he obviously means a lot to you,” you drift off, unable to stop your mind drifting to you and Yoongi.

“He misses you, you know,” she murmurs, correctly interpreting your sudden silence and change of focus.

“Who? Jeongguk?” you deliberately misinterpret her comment. She looks at you sadly, not falling for the act.

“Min Yoongi,” she clarifies. “He hasn’t been the same since you left that day.” You’re both silent for a moment. “Come back to mine for that nightcap?” she invites you, with a tiny smile. You hesitate. But only for a moment.

You follow Ruby into the familiar lobby of the apartment block and into the mirrored elevator. When you step into the apartment, Hoseok and Namjoon are draped over the couch half-watching anime while Tae plays on his computer. Jimin bounces over to wish Ruby a Happy Birthday and say hi to you. You acknowledge him with a smile and accept his proffered hug. Trust Jimin to make you feel welcome. Jin sticks his head out of the kitchen, where he and Jeongguk are apparently putting the finishing touches on a cake. You notice Jeongguk stick two more sparklers into the icing while Jin’s back is turned and try not to smile when you hear Jin’s affronted “Eh?! Wha?!” when he turns around. Not much has changed around here then.

“Leave Jin-hyung’s cake alone, Jeongguk,” comes a familiar bored-sounding voice from behind the kitchen door. “It’s almost like you’re trying to justify the need for all those extra sparklers you suddenly had an urge to go buy,” scoffs Yoongi, for it is indeed he. You repress your impatience and wait for Jin to bring the cake into the dining area, followed by Jeongguk and Yoongi.

“Ah. The return of Mint Yoongi,” Ruby teases your newly-dyed man. He smiles awkwardly and rubs the back of his head.

“Does it look okay?” he checks. You step across from behind Ruby and smile at him tentatively. “Hi Yoongi-oppa,” you greet him. He looks startled, but definitely far from displeased to see you.

“Hey Y/N,” he murmurs, suddenly shy.

“I think it looks good,” you tell him, wanting to be supportive, but not uncharacteristically gushing.

“Thanks,” he grins, blushing. Everyone sets themselves up around the table as Jin places his now sparkler-bedazzled cake in the centre. The others discreetly let you take your place at Yoongi’s side, as Jin and Jeongguk battle over the amount of pyrotechnics strictly necessary for a birthday cake. Ignoring the hijnx, Yoongi places his hand protectively over yours on the table-top and smiles into your eyes.

THE END

[strangepumpkinfantasies]

|Chaos makes a muse|

hi! is it possible for me to request a horror au oneshot with jb where the reader gets kidnapped or something and she gets hurt then when he finds her he gets rlly protective and realizes how much he loves her with a fluffy ending? Have a good day :)

It has been five months since Y/N and JB were seeing each other, apparently their relationship was getting stronger by everyday. However Y/N was working in a bakery shop that Jaebeom used to visit most of the time. 

12 pm 

You were still busy serving customers when you felt your phone buzz into your pocket, quickly heading to the employees exit door you answered the call. 

‘Y/N we need to talk, come outside.’ JB said in a serious tone.

With a deep sigh you told him to wait a few minutes, you went to the locker room to apply some lip balm and fix your messy bun. Thus, you had a really long day and all you wished for was to see him, obviously he was your everything, so lately with all these family reunions barging about their daughters getting married to rich guys and them being lucky to do so, you grew sick of hearing the same stories all the time you’d visit your parents. In fact as much as you hated these stereotype fairy tails you became interested, starting a family with JB has become one of your goals. Nevertheless you were unable to discuss this matter with him.

You checked your reflection on the small hanging mirror one more time before you made your way outside the bakery shop. Tiny drops of sweat were running down your chest due to the high temperature outside, you smiled widely once you caught his good looking sight. You slowly approached each other.

“Babe I missed you.” You attacked him with a hug.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. “Uh yeah me too, listen there’s something I need to tell you.” 

You curved an eyebrow and nodded. 

“You know that you mean the world to me and I’ve enjoyed your company all these months....but I don’t think we’re gonna work out like this.” He held your hands in his.

Your heart aches when these words left his mouth. “What do you mean we’re not gonna work out? what about all these months we spent together?”

“I don’t know but I might move to the US to run my father’s company it’s just my life’s a mess right now, you deserve someone better than me y/n.” His face show unhappiness. You dryly swallowed feeling a lamp in your throat. 

“But I really want to be with you, we can face struggles hand in hand..” You tried your best not to cry. 

He cupped your face with both hands. “I know baby girl, but it’s best for us to stop seeing each other.” 

With that being said, you pushed him away. “Alright, if that’s what you think...don’t ever come near me again, I don’t wanna see your face.” 

He tried to grab your wrist but you yanked his hand while running back inside. Once you made it to the locker room your broke in tears. 

-One hour before the end of your shift-

After your little argument with JB you decided to wipe your tears and move on with your life, you thought that all you have to do is live the moment and work hard for a brilliant future. Apart from all that being done, you and your work mate Elena were the only ones left in the shop performing your final duties before closing. 

“You good?” Elena asked with full concern. 

Forcing on a fake smile you say. “Yeah thanks.”

“Come on I heard you crying earlier...you can tell me about it instead of bottling it inside.” She patted your back. 

You shook your head. “Me and JB are no longer- omg behind you!” 

“What? who’s behind me?” Elena’s eyes widened once she turned back. “Aaaaah!” she panicked once she saw a group of thugs holding their guns to our direction. 

You forget to breath for a second when they surrounded the two of you leaving  no space for you to escape, you held each other with fear and stood still. 

Your heart beats were going unstable, yet you decided to bravely stood up for them. “You want money? okay have it! but don’t hurt us.”

A tattooed dude with men bun approached you while laughing. “How about you shut your dumb ass mouth before I shut it for you, we are here for her but since you are a witness.....” He licked his dirty lips while eyeing you up and down. “We can’t leave you behind.”

“I promise we won’t turn you out to the police, just take the money and let us go.” You stuttered. 

He scoffed. “Bitch shut your fucking mouth, one last warning.” Gritting his teeth he grip Elena’s neck while she yelled, you tried to help her but another man held you back. “Let her go you scumbag.” You yelled. 

“Long time no see mami, you thought our deal’s over? that you can run away without paying your debt? well you’re wrong muffin.” He brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

She cried. “I swear I don’t have the money...please I’m sorry I will pay you back your money...this is between us let her go she has nothing to do with this I’m begging you.”

“Of course you don’t have $200,000 that’s why I came here today, both of you are coming with me tonight.” He sniffed Elena’s hair. 

You looked at her surprisingly, you never imagined that she that kind of person who would do illegal stuffs just for money now look at the trouble she caused. 

With a deep breath you say. “Listen I...I have some savings...I can give you my credit card details.” 

“How much do you have shawty?” He crossed his arms over his chest. 

Clearing you throat. “$250,000.” Elena shook her head in disbelief.

“Your credit card now.” He raged at you. 

Bringing your wallet from the locker room one of the thugs went with you, cursing under your breath you pretend to search inside your bag but instead you were dialing 911, unlucky you it was on speaker so you got exposed. 

“You slut pray for your life now, move!” He grabbed your hair tightly dragging you down so you were pulled through the floor. You screamed at the top of your lungs. “Boss she called the police.” You were thrown at their boss’s feet. 

He cursed in Italian. “You think you are smart?Ah I’m gonna have to ruin your beautiful face sadly.” with that being told he slapped you making your bottom lip bleed. “Take them to the van now!” he outraged. 

-No where to be found-

You woke up to Elena’s whimpering, to your shock both of your were tightly tied to separated chairs with tape on your mouth. Thus, your wrists were hurting due to the rope’s sharp material, trying your best not to cry you shut your eyes hoping this was all a bad dream. How your life turned upside down within a minute after JB gave up on you, now you wished he was there for you to end this nightmare. 

“Now ladies we’re gonna have some fun.” Their boss says while holding a leather whip. 

One of them took off the tape from your mouth letting you have a few sips of water. “Good girl.” 

“Since y’all can’t pay back the money, you’re gonna have to chose other payment methods...Elena knows already.” He sent her a death glare. 

They untied your wrists and forced you to stand up. “You’re gonna strip for our boss.” 

At this moment your blood starts boiling, temperature arising your hands formed into fists. “Okay..” you whispered while approaching his ugly figure sitting on a chair. 

“Let me see what you got.” He smirked. 

You made a disgusted face and say. “This.” with that being said you kicked him off the chair and spat on him. “You’re the definition of disgust.” 

In a blink one of his men forced you on your knees while gripping your hair. Their boss finally went back on his feet with an angry face, you gulped in fear regretting the moment you thought you’d smarten up, now you’ll end up being hurt. “Tie her arms back facing me NOW!” He shouted at his men. Them doing as told, you tried to fight them but they were way too strong, you gritted your teeth when you felt the back of your shirt tore apart letting the cold air hit your bare skin. You could see stars when the whip came in contact with your skin, and that being repeated forcefully creating more pain.

“That’s what you get *whip* you think you’re smart? *whip* Imma teach you a lesson that you’ll never forget *whip* you dumb bitch.” He yells each time he hit your skin with the leather whip.You on the other hand was slowly loosing it.

-Jaebum’s P.O.V- 

After y/n and I had our argument that day I haven’t heard from her ever since, which has got me worried about her, I was being a coward when I pushed her away from my life, didn’t know what has gotten into me that day more likely my father was putting a lot of pressure on me asking me to give up on her and move on to the US. Yet he was wrong, from now on I’m gonna follow what my heart wants. 

I was staring at a diamond ring that I bought a while ago for y/n, deeply thinking  before my phone ringtone shook me off my thoughts quickly answering, hoping it was her. 

“Hey.” I said.

“JAE! It’s me Elena...please you gotta help us! they are hurting y/n.” A crying female’s voice caught me off guard. 

I panicked while asking her too many questions. “Wait..hold on what happen? where are you now? calm down okay...can you describe the place you are in?” 

Jogging to my car I called one of my friends to help me track their location through the phone call, driving in a high speed my whole focus was on rescuing her, tho I had no clue what was going on, but one thing I was sure about that these motherfuckers were gonna pay for everything.

Not so long I received the location, biting my lip from frustration. “Hang on babe, here I come.”

-End of JB’s P.O.V- 

Back to you, Elena was getting punished when they found her using their phone. Tears were running down your cheek, feeling a sting in your heart because you were unable to help her. “I’m so sorry..” you mumbled while keeping eye contact with her. The room was filled with cries and sorrow.

“Now who’s gonna save your ass?” The thug says while laughing. 

“Well, that’s gonna be me.” A familiar voice caught you off guard. Your heart beats fastened when you figured who it was, Jaebum. 

“Who the fuck are you? get him!” 

Hopefully you the rope was a little long so you twisted your arms just to see the love of your life. A wide smile formed on your lips when you met his gaze. 

“Right I haven’t introduced myself..” Jb itched his eyebrow with one hand, his other was behind his back. Quickly pulling a nail bat he hit the thug’s face hard. “I’m your worst nightmare motherfucker.” 

JB hurried to you with a worried face while untying you, once your wrists were free you fell into his arms. “Easy there sweetie, you’re gonna be okay.” He kissed your forehead. Wrapping his hands around your back you whimpered in pain and backed away from him. “What’s wrong y/n?” He reached to you but you yanked his arm, this time he didn’t back away in fact he grabbed your wrists and slowly turned you to back face him. “Oh my god...” 

“Who did this to you!?” JB held both your shoulders while gritting his teeth. “It’s him..” With that being said, JB jumped on the same guy that was hit throwing punches on his face. “She’s just a women asshole!!!” 

As much as you wanted the jerk to pay for what he did to you, it wasn’t fair to watch him die under your lover’s hands. “Enough Jae!!!” You yelled. 

Apparently JB weren’t buying any of this, he was getting more aggressive. Holding his nail bat he kept hitting the thug’s back till he bled. “No one hurts her and gets to live!” Other scumbags were coming at him but he eliminated them with each smack on the face. Not too long the police came and took the criminals away, and provided first aid service. 

-A week after-

After the incident you stayed a few days at the hospital till your wounds fully recovered. Everyday JB would bring you rose bouquets and chocolate, sometimes he would stay the night while holding your hand. 

At the moment you were staying at his apartment since he insisted on taking care of you. You appreciated everything that he did for you yet you was still mad at him. Laying down the sofa you were eating ice cream while watching a tv show. 

“Hey y/n come with me.”JB said with a slight smile. 

You pouted cus you couldn’t finish your ice cream. “Where?”

“Trust me, it’s a surprise.” He held your chin slowly leaning in. 

You knew he was going to kiss you but you placed your finger on his lips. “You’re not getting any kisses just yet.” 

“Oh why not? don’t I deserve sum...”He narrowed his eyebrows. “It’s alright lets go bae.” 

He led the way to his bedroom, once you walked inside your jaw dropped.

 You turned to face him but he bent on one knee holding a ring box. You gasped in shock. 

“Yeah..I know it’s too late, I almost loosed you..I realized that my life without you is useless...so um haha...Will you marry me y/n?” He says in a cheerful tone. 

You laughed at how cute he sounded, tears formed in your eyes due to happiness. Finally your wish came true. “Yes.” hearing your answer he stood up to spin you around. “Oh you’re making me dizzy haha..”

“Sorry...I love you so much.” He caressed your hair.

“I love you too, now...” You whispered before you planted a kiss on his lips. 

He made a pouting face. “Oh man finally I get to taste your cherry lips again.” 

“Don’t be dramatic.” You suppressed a laugh before you crawled on bed. Following after you he rubbed your back gently. “Do they still hurt?” 

“A little.” You hummed. 

“I could kiss all your wounds babe, you’re safe and I’m always by your side.” He assured before kissing your lips again. 

*Happy ending Yay!* 

~So I hope you enjoy reading, always feel free to request. 

(Gifs not mine.)

[httpjeon]

03. hot bot ― jungkook (m.)

jungkook/reader | android!au, hotbot!au | smut, angst

wordcount: 2.1k

contents: emotional blue balls, rough sex, slut shaming, forced orgasm, light fingering, no aftercare, yoongi appearance

― synopsis: you have the option. but will you take it?

a/n: this is what i like to call...rubbing salt in the wound.

blog masterlist ― series masterlist

© httpjeon 2019. do not repost or modify.

“A message to our loyal customers! A new and improved line of Hot Bot’s are officially on sale. Get your hands on a one-of-a-kind bot before they’re gone! Below is a coupon code for only a select few! Use it wisely!”

The message you received from Hot Bot Inc immediately sent your heartrate into overdrive. You read it repeatedly, trying to gather up the courage to click on the link that would redirect you to the website. You hovered your mouse over the link and closed your eyes and clicked. Your eyes hurt as you squeezed them tightly, willing yourself to open them and look at the page.

The page was exactly the same as you remembered it and you were already signed into your account. You clicked on the banner that would bring you to the Hot Bots for sale, your heart still hammering away in your chest.

After a second, you were brought to the familiar page that you had bought Jungkook from. At the top right corner, you could see the filters that had been applied through your survey you took that day.

You began to scroll the page, ignoring the bots that didn’t look like the one you were looking for. It seemed the company had released a new line of bots; VIX2000. However, none of them caught your eye, and before you knew it; you were 2 pages in.

Suddenly, a new line title caught your eye.

BTS900+

You stopped breathing for a second as you passed the Taehyung and Hoseok bots.

And then, there he was.

Jungkook.

You quickly clicked on him.

“After some bugs were reported, Jungkook was reprogrammed. We now introduced the new and improved model!”

“Bugs?” You scoffer, glaring at the screen. “There was nothing wrong with him.”

Before you could realize what you were doing, and before you could think too much on it; you clicked add to cart.

The company had reimbursed your purchase after Jungkook had been recalled; giving you full money back. You also were given the coupon code on the email and your account had been given a discount for any bot bought after you lost Jungkook.

You stared at the payment page; your credit card and address info already filled in from before, though you had to add in the coupon code. Your mouse hovered over the complete purchase button; thinking over your options.

What were you expecting? What did you want? What would you do if Jungkook wasn’t the same?

…Would you regret it?

Decided that it was worth a shot, you clicked the button and were immediately brought to a confirmation of purchase page. It was as if they were mocking you; are you SURE you want to do this?

After confirming it, your order was placed.

Your phone pinged, alerting you via e-mail that you had purchased him again.

You paced in front of the front door, clutching your phone in your hand as you did so. You had gotten a notification a moment ago that you had a delivery on the way up. And it could only be one thing.

Jungkook.

It felt like hours passed before the doorbell finally rant. You whipped the door open, startling the delivery boy on the other side, who stared at you with wide eyes.

“D-Delivery, ma’am…” He muttered, using the dolly to push the oversized box into the living room; the same place you first met Jungkook.

“Thanks,” You breathed out, staring at him until he backed out of your apartment; a look of what could only be described as fear on his face. At that moment you didn’t care about being rude or keeping up appearances, you wanted him out and you wanted him out now.

Once the door was shut and you were all alone with your box, you exhaled loudly. Your hands were shaking as you grabbed a box cutter out of the little dish sitting on your coffee table, you used it to cut into the box.

There was an overwhelming sense of deju vu when Jungkook was revealed to you. His head hanging and his hair covering his eyes. This time you didn’t need to bother reading the instructions, you reached to the nape of his neck and pressed the button with a soft click.

Immediately, Jungkook’s head rose up, revealing the almost innocent doe-eyes he possessed. You momentarily forgot how to breathe as you stared at up.

“Please register owner’s name,” He said, voice monotone, matching his emotionless eyes.

“_-____...” You whispered, a shiver going down your spine at the cold, lifeless gaze he set upon you.

He pressed his lips against yours. They felt the same but, the emotion behind it wasn’t the same. You pushed the thought aside and allowed him to escort you to the bedroom.

He didn’t waste a second before tearing into your clothes. The raw power behind every move he made reminded you that he wasn’t human.

When you were bare before him, he grinned; a dark, lustful gaze in his eyes. Where they used to be so soft and bright…he really was different.

Suddenly, his hands were on your waist, making your squeal when he roughly turned you over onto your knees. The scent of your detergent filled your senses, calming you and almost making you forget where you were. That is – until a firm hand hit your ass with a resounding slap.

You cried out into your bedding, the burning sting sending tingles all through your body. There was a pause in his slaps, and suddenly you felt two fingers slide into your cunt.

“Tight, babygirl,” He growled, leaning forward to bite into the reddened skin of your ass. You whimpered at the pain that burnt into your brain. “Can you even take my cock, I wonder?”

You were silent, save for the guttural panting into your bed. Apparently, Jungkook didn’t want that – instead he growled.

“I asked you a question, slut!” He snapped, slapping your thigh hard enough to leave a red mark.

“Y-Yes, I can take your cock! Please, Jungkook,” You begged, making him chuckle.

But it wasn’t a chuckle you were used to hearing from him. No, this one was dark and held no kind undertone to it.

As you were lost in your thoughts of analyzing his laugh, he pulled his fingers out and positioned himself behind you. You tuned back in to the sound of his zipper being undone.

You inhaled, feeling the blunt head of his cock press against your entrance. You exhaled as he began to push into you. The feeling of your walls burning at the stretch reminded you that he hadn’t even prepared you. However, the stretch definitely wasn’t unpleasant.

“You better hold on tight, little slut,” He growled, gripping your hips to leverage.

As he pulled out, you gripped onto the sheets, already feeling the power he held before he even began to fuck you. The pace he set was unreal, unlike anything you’d ever felt. His cock hammered into your g-spot, stars lining your vision as you cried out. However, you own cries weren’t even reach your hazed-up brain. All you could think about was the intense orgasm Jungkook was about to force out of you through fucking you alone – no contact to your clit.

“Fuck, you gonna cum?” Jungkook growled, reaching forward to wrap a fist in your hair.

You whimpered out your response, not even able to formulate a response as the pain from your scalp seemed to be the nail in the coffin. You exploded, your legs trembling and failing to hold your body up as you came. Through your own shrill cries and pleasure, Jungkook came as well. You came to with the heat of his release leaking down your thighs.

“Fuck,” He sighed, laying on the bed. You fell to your side, thighs still trembling at the force of your orgasm.

You quickly realized Jungkook wasn’t going to make any move to take care of you. Not like he had last time.

This is what made you realize that he truly was different this time.

He wasn’t…Jungkook.

As Jungkook went into rest mode, you sat on the bed, hugging your knees. If you didn’t know any better, you could mistake him for a corpse.

He looked so lifelike, however, he was completely motionless – not even breathing. After all, androids didn’t breathe. Even though you had experienced life with Jungkook before, this new model was completely different.

The old model possessed such a lifelike disposition, he smiled and laughed. He showed emotion and you could feel his love for you in every touch he made.

This Jungkook, however, was nothing but a robot.

A robot.

The phrase caused tears to sting your eyes as it hit you finally; this wasn’t the same Jungkook.

He looked and sounded the same to the old one; but it just wasn’t him. There was no doubt about it.

You crawled out of the bed, grabbing your phone off the nightstand before you left the bedroom – not even sparing a glance to the android in your bed.

As you walked down the hallway, you brought up an old contact that you hadn’t brought up in ages.

It rang a few times before a deep, groggy voice answered.

“Hello?”

“Yoongi…? It’s ______,” There was a beat of silence before you could hear muffled rustling of fabric.

“_____? What are you callin’ me for? It’s been…months,” He said, sounding much more awake now. “Are you alright?”

“I just need to know something,” You breathed, sitting on your couch while trying to will yourself not to cry.

“What is it?”

“Can you still…reprogram androids?”

Yoongi threw down his coat and it landed unceremoniously on the couch. He never really was one for tact.

“Let me get this straight…” He sighed, pacing around your living room, running his fingers though his already messy black hair. “You want me to illegally reprogram your sex robot…because he’s changed?”

“Yes!” You cried, though kept your voice quiet since it was late at night.

“What do you mean ‘changed’?” Yoongi pressed, finally taking a seat on your coffee table – you couldn’t even bring yourself to chastise him.

“When I first got him…it was like he was human! He had emotions! And then he was recalled for being defective,” You explained, crossing your arms over his chest. “A-And I bought him again but now it’s like he’s…he’s…”

“A robot?” Yoongi finished for you, making you nod. “Those who make androids…they keep pressing the limits they can go to with the AI. But sometimes, they press too far and end up creating another form of intelligent life. When they realize this, they have to backtrack – they can’t lose control of their androids.”

“S-So you’re saying…Jungkook was too human so they had to ‘fix’ him?” Yoongi nodded at your words, making tears sting in your eyes. “There was nothing to be fixed!”

“Not to you…but an intelligent android like that…” Yoongi sighed again. “Though we have this technology, we’re still scared that the robots will make up obsolete and overtake the world.”

“Yoongi…” Still fighting back tears, you took a seat on the couch, staring at Yoongi’s tense back. “Can you bring him back or not?”

There was a beat of silence, as if Yoongi was weighing his option. Slowly he looked at you over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I can…” He answered, making a smile spread across your face. “But there’s a catch…”

“Catch…?”

Yoongi stood up again. Though he wasn’t the tallest man, having him standing over you like this was certainly intimidating and you found yourself struggling to breathe at the dark look in his eyes.

“If I reprogram him; there’s the possibility that it can go wrong, and he could end up…” He trailed off, trying to think of a way to word it. “dangerous.”

“What do you mean?” You prodded, biting your lip at the fear his words put in you.

“I mean, the company could have put a safeguard in place to make it impossible for him to reprogrammed. One wrong move, and he’d turn into a monster. He could kill you, kill me. He could turn vengeful and try to kill the people who created him.” Yoongi explained, sinking his hands into his pockets to quell the shaking in them. “There’s also the possibility that the company will be able to detect that he’s been tampered with and you and I would both be on a one-way trip to federal prison.”

You opened your mouth to speak but, words failed you. What could you respond with? You looked up at him, as if asking for help. You swear you could spot a shred of sympathy in his gaze. Suddenly, he took a seat beside you and sighed.

“_____,” He said, locking eyes with you. “You have to decide if you want to risk that. Or if maybe…it’s time to let him go.”

What to do...

[shadowknight465]

Sun and Moon

He went back to the tree safe from harm, or what could be harm in his point of view. Nightmare still doesn't understand where the voices are coming from. He brushed it off thinking it was a result of being alone most of the time. Even though his feet were hurt from walking for a long time; he felt the energy coming back as soon he saw light golden cap with arms hugging two deep blue legs. He then took a deep breath as the dry grass tells his brother that he's here. Dream look up and saw Nightmare. Never knowing what Nightmare had seen before finding him.

As Nightmare sat beside him. Even when his eyes were closed he could easily tell that Dream is confused. Nevertheless Dream spoke to Nightmare. "What do you want?" Nightmare respond it with. "Just to talk." Dream looks down again. Nightmare always tells himself that he isn't gonna lie to his brother, but he feels like he needs to stretched the truth for a bit. Hopefully Dream will learn the truth sooner or later.

"Look, Dream,"

Dream turns his head to face Nightmare again.

"I didn't really mean to flip you." Nightmare then makes a fist to try to give his brother an example. "You see. I'm like a water balloon. I can build so much anger inside of me that I could explode unexpectedly."

Now this is the time to lie

Nightmare thought to himself. "And when you mention your friends, I got so mad and lied to you because you have friends and I don't." He then chuckles to himself while rubbing against his skull. "I guess I should get out of my shell more."

"Oh....Sorry." Dream responded, feeling guilty about something he didn't do. Nightmare thought to himself for second on how to make Dream feel better.

Dream always did say he want to cook with me...

"It's Ok, and you know what? I'll give you a cooking lesson. Would you like that?" He asked patting his brother shoulder.

"OK!" The golden eye light shine brightly. Nightmare smile to himself proudly, as he got up not knowing his brother is confused again. "Alright-y then," He said. "But first let me heal myself."

"Alright, brother."

As soon Dream was out of sight. Nightmare took all the wool out of his sleeves and nearly gasped from the blood loss. He's surprised that he didn't faint at least, that's what he thought. He went to his hiding place where he often use medicine practice on himself and took a piece of cloth and wrap it around his teeth.

Please God stay with me.

He then brew a healing spell in his black cauldron, and dive his arm in it painfully. Trying his best not to scream matter how much it stings his arm. As soon he was done. He catch his breath and look for a book about cooking so he and brother can make gumbo or stew. He grabbed the book that he needed and another dropped. He sigh in annoyance and went to put it back up, but when he read the title, he knows he didn't bought the book. The title read "Peace after Death". It didn't said who wrote it, nor did it had any information in the back. He decided when he has time he can read one or two pages see was all about. He pick up the book and hid it under his shirt, then went back to his brother while picking up some ingredients. Forgetting the mysterious book.

~~~~~

"Ok, Dream. Watch the fire while I get the recipe."

"And whatever you do. Don't touch it." Nightmare ordered sternly. It's wasn't because he doesn't trust Dream, it was because every time Dream is around with fire he always want to touch it, 'to feel the warmth.' His brother said as a excuse. After a brief few seconds. He felt something off.

Dream is being awfully quiet. I'm going to check on him

His suspense quickly turn to fear. He turnaround quickly yelling. "DREAM! DONT!"

"OUCH!"

Nightmare walked up to Dream disappointed.

One thing, he can't do one thing?

He thought.

"What did I tell you about touching the fire?" He demanded.

"Don't?" Dream squeak.

"That's right. And what did you do?" He reminded.

"Touch it..."

Nightmare sigh and went back to his studies to get some bandages for Dream. He felt a little lucky that no one has seen them, not because Nightmare will be in trouble. But because Dream will be accused of being a pyro warlock. If there's anything about him and pyro warlocks have in common is their love of fire. He blames the elders for introducing fire to Dream in the first place. Though he can see his brother being one of those pyro warlocks. Which to him it means he has to clean up all his brother's messes. Fire. One of the most dangerous elements known to so many races. Can be used for creation or distraction. It's also known for cooking meals and to guide the lost. But what's fire without its counterpart, water? The very thing that can heal in shape. To be transform into solid or gas. And to heal if you do it right.

~~~~~~

After Nightmare bandaged up his brother's hand. He sat in the back right beside him.

He thought about his deep thinking earlier and he decided he wanted to share that knowledge with his brother. Just in case.

"Dream, I think it's time to tell you the importance of water and fire." Nightmare turns to face Dream. "So listen closely, understand?" Dream nodded.

"You won't believe this, but both of them need each other like the sun and the moon. Let me explain. When water turns to ice, fire can thaw it out. When fire is out of control, water can calm it down. Although they seem different, they are the same in the way. Water was known to drown, to give life, to turn cold, and to heal. Fire was known to destroy, to bring warmth, to bring to light and to guide. They show us without one there can't be the other, they complete each other. Do you understand Dream?"

Dream nodded. "Of course, Brother."

Nightmare then chuckled for a bit. "You know you remind me of fire."

"Hmm?"

"You are always so bright and energetic." He answered. "Well you remind me of water, you are always so calm and gentle." He responded. Nightmare blush. He's not used to complements, not like his goody two shoes brother. "Thanks, I love you my Little Sun." He said.

" I love you too, Moon." Dream said. Nightmare turn to night sky.

Maybe I can teach Dream a bit of my interest.

He thought. He doesn't want to get lonely on most nights anymore. "Want to learn a bit about astronomy?" He asked.

"Yes, please!" Dream answered happily.

after three whole hours of talking about constellation his brother fell asleep on his lap. Nightmare pull his personal book from his inner rib cage. Hey, he got to protect his personal belongings.

June, 17, 1577

The small group of friends I met yesterday turns out to be traitors when they attack me. As they all beat me up one of them use their magic to make me break my own arm. When i was finished, they all wound up together and nearly blinded me by hitting my eye sockets with a big rock. It later cause me to be aggressive my own brother. However something strange had happened to me while I was trying to look for him. A creature I believed to be a massager for someone said they wants me to be their king of darkness, so I'll be safe from everyone's grasp, I however decline. Because I choose not to be like the people who abuse and manipulated us. Even after he left, I still feel like he's watching me from afar to see if I change my mind. And, a few other voices said they want me to be king. I theorize that if it's from being along for so long. When I finally apologized I told him that we can cook together after I tend my wounds. While I was healing up and planing to cook a meal with my brother, I discovered a book that wasn't mine reading "Peace after Death". It is said who or what is from, nor does it have a symmetry. Which made me wonder is this a gift from God or a temptation from Lucifer?

He then put the book away. And went to sleep. Not long after maybe four or three hours, he saw that he was in an starry night like area. He then look that himself and saw that he changed. Not like a demonic way, but like a spirit. Most of his color palette are shades of pastel bluish-purple. He looked up and saw similar lights from when he blacked out. As he slowly walks towards it, he can hear so many voices telling him to go on until he came to a blinding light. When it finally faded he discovered two beautiful gems. One shaped like the sun and the other shaped like the moon.

"Welcome back, Nightmare."

He looked and so heavenly figures each of them are white with a different color hue surrounding them. While their eyes are the same color of the hue and yet nothing no white or pupils.

Nightmare was so amazed that he can't describe it with words itself. "Is this a dream?" He asked when he finally got his voice back.

"No."

Nightmare suddenly got confuse.

"Heaven?"

"No."

Nightmare took a step backwards. "Hell?"

The leader of them walk towards him against his wishes. "This is a forgotten realm is call The Nerco Empire."

He look at everyone in awe. He never heard of such an empire. Especially a empire for the dead. As he was about to ask why they want him to be their king, he saw a humanoid figure dress in regal garments wielding a scythe pointing at him.

As if nobody paid attention, he heard it deep tone of voice saying. "Come."

He went to the opposite direction as far he could while screaming out for help. However as he got to familiar grounds nobody seems to hear him. When he reached to the tree where he and his brother were resting, he saw himself. He pause for a moment trying to think of an exclamation,  then he remember why he was running in the first place. And ran straight to his body.

He jolted up then looked around him to see a sleeping Dream. He sigh and released thinking it was a nightmare, then carry his brother back home.

~~~~

After he sat Dream down on his bed. All bright yellow and some hits of gold and later went to his bed he felt a sharp pain on his back. He brush it off as maybe he was hit on the back and need some rest. When he got back to his own bedroom which is different shades of purple he felt his right hand Burning up. He took a look at it and saw the sun-cut gem.

So it wasn't a dream after all...

He thought. He put it in one of his drawers and head back to bed.

Whatever he went through it'll be over soon right?

Previous:

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[homesoutofhuman]

Your sinner, in secret pt 2

Warnings (for all parts): sex, daddykink, swearing, boss taking advantage of an employee, age-gap, d/s dynamic.Honestly though this part is relatively tame I think.

------------------------------

His resolve lasts until he sees you again, sitting at your desk wearing headphones and humming along with a song while you shred more documents. John moves nearer, noting the buttons of your cream blouse are undone, showing more of your skin than you probably intended. He breathes deeply through his nose, trying to stay calm as you lean over to grab an errant piece of paper, giving him a grandstand view of your cleavage.

You do not hear him approach of course, as if you did you’d never be singing. After yesterday’s encounter with him you’d felt strangely energised, doing yoga after work and carefully picking out your outfit ready for the next day. The devil whispered in your ear as you dressed in the morning, making you leave a few too many buttons undone to give your boss a good view of what you’ve got to offer.

And you would offer it up him freely. Despite his outward appearance of sullen grumpiness you find yourself drawn to him. His assertive ways are attractive, you even respect him for pulling the file trick on you, even if you did lose a few years of your life while it was in progress. It had all been worth it to see the look on his face when you’d called him ‘Sir’, deliberately coquettish. You knew you were dreaming, there was no way in hell you could get under the skin of such a mature, self-assured and successful man, but it was fun to imagine little ways you could try.

John creeps up to you lifts one of the headphones away from your ear, talking close so you can hear.

“Good morning Y/N”

You let out a little scream, making him chuckle, he lets go and the headphone snaps back against your ear with a sting, it’s not unpleasant, and even less so when you wrench them off, rubbing at your ear and find him watching you with warm eyes.

“Morning Mr Wick…” you reply, taking in the full gorgeous view of him. You swear his chest looks even wider today. “Sleep well?”

The question is innocent, prompted by the fact you notice his eyes look slightly tired, a few creases on his cheeks that weren’t there before. It definitely wasn’t due to the fact you’d been studying his face for wrinkles and concluded he couldn’t be the age you knew he was, and that Google must be lying. You’d done a little late night surfing on your new boss, finding several articles written years back about a ‘young and exciting up and coming lawyer’. Now they described him as a ‘powerhouse’ or a ‘beast’ in the courtroom. It kinda made you wonder if he was the same in the bedroom.

John’s reaction to your question looks guilty, and you almost think you see him blush, although that seems extremely out of character.

“Late night...prepping for a case…” he mutters, eyes suddenly dark again and you wonder what you said wrong.

“Can I help?” you ask, a little too eagerly.

John sighs, looking impatient. “You think you, a...what are you...third year law student? Could help me...who’s has years in the game?”

“I didn’t mean…” you feel your pride smarting again and struggle to hold back tears which suddenly threaten to appear. “I just thought I could help research.”

John snorts. “You are not here to think. You’re here to do exactly as I tell you, and so far you seem to be struggling with that concept.”

You shake your head, not daring to speak. You would rather die than cry in front of him. Luckily for you, John is done with the conversation, moving on to his office, so you take the opportunity to run to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face in an attempt to pull yourself together.

He’s mean. You mutter. A fucking asshole. You say out loud to make yourself feel better. I don’t like him. The last one doesn’t really ring true

You work a few more hours until lunch, when you look up and find John standing in front of you. Without his jacket in just his shirt he looks a little softer and more approachable, his dark hair falls across his eyes and you shift in your seat, he looks delicious.

“Hungry?” he asks, as if reading your thoughts and you nod.

“Want me to go and get you lunch?”

He shakes his head. “You don’t know what I like...come on..”

He walks off as if just expecting you to follow him and of course you do, hurriedly grabbing your bag on the way. He walks fast with long strides and you’re almost panting to keep up.

He takes you to a deli and requests a sandwich order so precise you’re glad it wasn’t your task to fetch it, seeing as it involves about 8 ingredients in a particular order.

“So what happens if they put the tomato on top of the lettuce, do you throw it back in their faces?” you ask playfully if a little cautious from his mood before, ordering a plain bagel with cream cheese for yourself.

John looks at you slightly hurt. “No...I’d just make them to do it again until they got it right. That’s what I’m going to do with you.”

You feel yourself growing hot at his tone of voice, low and unrelenting, right in your ear like a caress.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Not yet…” he replies in the same velvet tone that holds both a threat and a promise at the same time.

He hands you your food but all hunger had disappeared, leaving you with nothing but the desire for him.

You expect to take your sandwiches back to the office but John motions for you to sit down. He places himself opposite and chews his food, regarding you thoughtfully.

“You’re not scared of me. I like that.”

You hide a smile and start your own lunch, his voice is softer and he seems ready for conversation.

“You are intimidating, but more from your reputation than anything else. Personally, you seem not too bad…”

“Not too bad?” John echoes, smirking around a mouthful of bread. “You are quite bold for your age.”

You open your mouth to apologise but he waves it off. “It’s a good thing. I saw your application you know? I was the one who suggested picking you for the internship.”

You’re shocked and hardly know what to say. “Wow. Thank you...honestly...this is almost like a dream come true for me..”

“Shredding documents and fetching coffee is grunt work, not a dream.” corrects John, softly stern. “But we all had to do it. Believe it or not a long time ago I was in your position, taking abuse from my superiors. I vaguely remember how difficult it was.”

You giggle a bit at the thought of a young John Wick. “I can hardly imagine you young…” you mean that you can’t imagine him naive, with long hair and cheap clothes taking orders, but the words come out wrong, and you see you may have hurt his feelings.

He leans across the table, so close you can see the amber flecks in his eyes, the streaks of grey in his beard. He is beautiful, warm, so solid and masculine it makes your stomach flip over with want. “Do you really see me as that old?”

You shake your head dumbly. “I mean...no...John.” you dare to call him by his first name but he doesn’t even flinch, focused on your face, his eyes flicking to your mouth, awaiting your response. Having the full weight of his attention on you is like facing down a wall of fire.

He nods, almost to himself. “I’m not dead yet Y/N….you’d be surprised the things I can do..”

I wouldn’t you think, as your mind starts running wild with obscene images. The way he is looking at you gives you hope, gives you a strange feeling that he wouldn’t be completely averse to your interest.

“What is this John?” You ask, looking from your lunch which he bought you, around to the cosy ambience of the deli, the sounds of coffee being made and people chatting happily. “Is this a date?”

He snorts so loudly you see you have amused him.

“A date with an old man...is that how you’d see it? Are you just staying here because I’m your boss?”

You chew your lip thoughtfully.  “Why don’t you ask me out on a proper date?”

“I don’t really go on ‘dates’” he replies, not questioning the fact he would ask you out, making your heart beat rapidly. “Why, would you say yes if I did ask you on one?”

He is looking at you with guarded eyes, but with enough interest to show he is demanding an answer.

You tilt your head and pretend to consider it. “Would you tell me about the case you’re working on?”

He smiles then, amused that you’re trying to exploit his interest for your own gain. “For an hour. Then in return you can tell me about yourself.”

“Any other conditions?” you ask.

“It depends how the night goes…”

You sigh, this seems like a dream, and you’re worried about how it makes you look, less than professional, and a little desperate, but you cannot deny your attraction to him, strong and inescapable. It’s like being tied to the tracks with a speeding train bearing down on you.

He almost seems to read your thoughts. “It’s usual for lawyers from the office to discuss business over dinner, don’t worry, you won’t become the subject of any gossip, and if you did, I would shut it down immediately.”

He leans forward and touches your hand, his long fingers sure but surprisingly gentle. “Don’t be afraid…”

You place your hand over his, making him blink his eyes with surprise. “I’m not afraid John.”

He rubs his other hand over his mouth, still watching you closely. Your actions are so unexpected it fascinates him.