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pleathewrites · 8 months ago

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bellow the fire into my deadened lungs

chapter 2 excerpt — important and embarrassing conversations read full story here

They all take care of Touya as he heals while trying to be discreet as possible. Keigo will go on patrol, Natsou will attend his classes but has a friend record each lecture he misses, and Shouto spends almost all of his free time back at Keigo’s apartment, now that his internship is over, what with Endeavor in a — 'satisfyingly' — medically-induced coma.

No one tells Fuyumi.

They all love her, especially Touya who misses his twin the same way he misses his tears. But they’re not sure if Fuyumi would tell Enji — who's bound to wake up eventually — where Touya is currently hiding, under the, ‘poorly led assumption that Enji is a changed man’ — Natsou’s words.

The first week of healing is absolutely grueling.

The second is worse.

The third, though, is when Natsou declares it’s finally okay to take the bandages off. Something about how far quirk medicine has come in the past decade.

When the bandages are off, Touya is completely shocked, “Natsou, what — how — there are barely any new scars. And — fuck, my seams!” Touya cackles wildly, twisting and turning his arms, “They’ve never looked this good!”

Natsou ruffles Touya’s hair, “Modern quirk medicine, man. You should probably take a bath, though. Warm water, different washcloths for each limb. Don’t put any dressing or creams when you’re done, wait at least two hours for all the heat to have left your burns. After that, it’s pretty much the same thing you’ve been doing. You’ve taken pretty good care of them these years — who knows, maybe you could be a doctor yourself,” He nudges, a cheeky smile on his face.

Touya huffs a laugh through his nose, “Another life, maybe.”

Natsou leaves for class with a sad smile, his heart full of melancholy at the way this life has treated his brother

Touya is looking at himself in the large bathroom mirror when Keigo comes stumbling in, “Dabs, are you awake yet? I’ve brought some — oh!” The hero stops short at his opened bathroom door, looking at Touya with wide and sparkling eyes, “Wow. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you like this.”

Touya snorts, “Patched up instead of wrapped up?”

“Whole,” Keigo answers, walking up to Touya to take a closer look at him, “I can’t believe you guys did this without me and Shou.”

Touya shifts, feeling stupidly shy, of all things, and he looks back at the mirror, at his own reflection, “‘S not some grand event, Birdbrain.”

He feels Keigo move, and the hero’s reflection joins his own, golden eyes meeting Touya’s reflected blue, “You’re so pretty.”

Touya’s heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest, and he averts his eyes away from their reflections and down to the sink, “Why're you saying that shit now? I told you, I know what you are.”

Keigo hasn’t kissed him these past three weeks. The only times he touches Touya is when it’s medical and he keeps his distance. They don’t sleep in the same bed. They haven’t talked about it. Keigo doesn’t need ‘Dabi’ anymore.

Touya doesn’t want to care. He doesn’t want the hero's distance to sting the way it does, wants to tell himself that he was using Keigo just as much as Keigo was using him, and that it all meant nothing.

Touya’s a good liar, but, ‘how the hell does someone lie to themselves?’

“Because I’m always thinkin’ it, Dabs.”

Touya whips around to face Keigo and puts two warning hands on the hero’s chest, “Stop it.”

“I — ” Keigo starts, his bottom lip jutted out and quivering for a second, before he presses his lips together and nods, “I’m sorry,” he steps back, “I — I’ve been trying. To give you space. I didn’t mean to cross a line.”

Touya turns his head away from Keigo and misses the way the hero’s eyes trace along the elegant column of Touya’s neck, misses the way black pupils dilate at the movement of his sharp Adam’s-apple, the way Keigo’s chest expands with a silently pining sigh.

The swirls of the marble tile in Kiego’s bathroom start to move the longer Touya stares. His head is such a mess. He’s tired and lost, and although his body has stopped hurting, his heart doesn't.

“I don’t like liars.”

“Dabi,” Keigo pleads, begging for Touya to look at him, “This isn’t the right time, but I need you to know. This, everything between us, it was all real for me. It still is,” Keigo’s short-taloned hand, the very physical testament of his words, lays on Touya’s cheek and urges him to turn, to look at Keigo and meet that pleading golden gaze, “You know when I’m lying. Look me in my eyes and believe me.”

Touya wants to. That’s the part that horrifies him, makes him so fucking scared, because when he looks into Keigo’s heartbreakingly open and honest eyes, he wants to believe him.

He closes his eyes and resigns, leans forward until his forehead meets Keigo’s own.

Keigo whispers against his mouth, “I’m a double agent,” He finally confesses, “But I am on your side.”

Touya nods.

Much later, after Shouto’s visit — “I honestly forgot what you looked like these past few weeks. I like this post-mummification-version of you better, Touya-nii.” — Touya and Keigo sit in the hero’s living room, tending to Touya’s new burns. Touya works on his right arm and Keigo kneels by his feet, wrapping his thigh — easy access due to the villain wearing only a tank top and boxers, borrowed from Keigo.

Keigo decides to bring up the conversation he’s postponed in waiting for Touya’s health to improve, “So. What were you thinking, going off to fight Endeavor alone?”

Touya’s fingers twitch. He was honestly hoping they’d never have this conversion, just forget about it and stay cocooned in this healing nest of a dream world for a little longer.

But the world still orbits, the clocks still tick, and real-life does not pause.

He finishes pinning the clean gauze in place and shrugs a shoulder, “Felt like the right time.”

Keigo scoffs, still focused on wrapping the gauze underneath his thigh, one hand gripping the back of his knee for leverage while the other loops the cloth under, “That’s such bullshit. What about the League? You have access to like, a hundred Nomus!”

And Touya’s a bit shocked, because —‘Is he mad I didn’t have a better plan to… kill… my father…?’

Keigo’s head whips up, and blazing eyes bore into Touya’s own, “What about me?”

Touya snaps.

“Yeah, what about you? The same you that stuffed a body in a duffle bag for a fuckin’ mission? You killed someone, you stupid… Hero,” Touya’s chest heaves, and they both noticed how when he said, ‘hero’, for once, it wasn’t spiteful but had real weight. Like the word held some honor and Keigo broke it.

Keigo sighs, pinning the gauze in place, and sits back on his rear, both knees coming up to rest his elbows on, “Yeah, but not on your orders.” The furrow of Touya’s thin brows makes Keigo explain further, “When I told the Commission about what the League wanted me to do, they… assigned me to do it. They could have found a way around it, but they didn’t. And they didn’t even do it themselves, they actually…”

Keigo’s voice starts to shake, and Touya leans forward, wanting to offer some kind of comfort but still feeling the protective resistance of his own mind take precedence.

“They brought a man in. Told me how to do it. And watched.”

Touya slides off the couch and adjusts himself until his own bent legs brush the insides of Keigo’s, long enough for his toes to reach the side of the hero’s hips. He rests his back against the seat border.

“There’s your reason then. It’s all fuckin’ tainted. Everything needs to be burnt to the fuckin’ ground, and it needs to start with him.”

“Dabi!” Keigo’s fists clench beside his temples and his eyes close tightly in frustration, “Gods, are you so naive to believe your single action would have changed anything!”

When his eyes open again, they’re incredulous and his golden irises look like they’re on fire, and Touya’s shocked at his outburst.

“You won’t be a martyr, Dabs, you’ll be the enemy, and the result will only end up in more heroes just like Endeavor, seeking for revenge on his behalf, completely ignorant to the man he really is. This... this is arrogance, stupidity — ”

A lick of fury runs through Touya and he grabs the collar of Keigo’s shirt and pulls, “Watch it, Birdy. I get it, alrigh', but don’t fuckin’ call me ‘stupid’.”

[ “You stupid, worthless boy!”

“Why do I even bother, those born weak are hopeless!”

“It’s not only your body, your mind is incapable, do you not see the bigger picture?”

“Stupid boy, push through! I am making you strong, can’t you see that!” ]

He lets go and tiredly leans back into the seat border, tilting his head all the way back until it rests on the seat cushion.

“I don’t care about the whole world, I care about four people. There’s no room for anyone else.”

‘Maybe five.’

Keigo scoffs, “Really? You read bedtime stories to Toga because you care about ‘four people’?” Touya’s heart tightens and he restrains his throat from swallowing too much, “You watch romcoms with Twice when he’s having a fit because you only care about ‘four people’? You sleep in Shigaraki’s bed during the winter because you care about ‘four people’? You — ”

Touya balks, his head shooting up, “ — Wait, wha — hold on — how do you know about that?” He demands.

Keigo’s eyes widen before his expression turns sheepish, “I…”

Touya’s eyes narrow, “Birdie…”

Keigo scratches the back of his neck, before booping his two index fingers together repeatedly, “I... So, Toga may have taken a few photos…”

Touya’s absolutely horrified, “You peeping-toms. When?”

Keigo’s eyes make a show of dramatically looking up and around, trying to seem like he doesn’t actually remember clearly, “Uh, heh, she said it happened in November, but she told me around the holidays?”

Touya groans, flopping his head back to the couch cushion.

[ Shigaraki hasn’t stopped staring at Dabi ever since he turned off the television. He’s just been standing in the doorway, itching his neck in obvious stress.

Dabi gives the guy the benefit of the doubt, “... What'd'you want, ya sandpaper reject?”

Shigaraki hesitates for a moment, shuffling his feet, “... My room is fuckin’ freezing. Can you heat up my sheets?”

Dabi sighs and thinks, ‘this again.’

He gets up, knees cracking and spine arching as he stretches a bit, ignoring the way Shigaraki’s eyes deviate to the strip of skin revealed by the lift of his shirt.

He makes his way to Shigaraki’s room, “You seriously need to buy a portable heater or somethin’. Think that psycho doctor can lend us a few bucks?”

“Doubt it.”

Dabi gets to the bed, flips covers, and heats up the area with his careful hands, “Alright, here ya go, Handyman, nice 'n toasty.”

He turns around and starts to walk out the bedroom door when a small tug around his waist constricts his movement. His brows draw together in confusion, and he looks down and follows the pattern of bunched clothing until he spots two blue-ish fingers trapping the hem of his shirt.

“I…” Shigaraki looks at where his fingers clutch at Dabi’s shirt before averting his eyes to the window, “There’s a blizzard outside, the bed is going to get cold quickly again. How... long will you be here?” He’s looking everywhere but at Dabi.

Dabi deadpans, “Look, I’m tired as hell, you better not wake me up and use that creepy doctor’s slime quirk on me just to heat your bed again. I’m not a housekeepe — ”

“ — you could just stay.”

Dabi gapes, “Uh…”

“I mean,” Shigaraki grumbles, seemingly irritated, but Dabi can see blood flow to his cheeks, “Your body radiates heat naturally when you sleep — ”

“ — how do you kno — ”

“ — so if you just sleep here, the bed will always stay warm.”

Dabi’s about to say ‘no’ because he’s noticed the strange ways his boss has been looking at him lately, red eyes lingering a bit too long on stapled skin, widening a bit too much at blue fire.

But he catches the heavy bags under those same red eyes, and he lets out a deep, resigned sigh, “Fine. Gods, this is the one time I’m actually glad you snatched the only queen mattress in this place,” — even though Dabi rarely ever spends the night at the League’s hideouts. Too much paranoia for infection.

He slides under the already folded back duvet and makes himself comfortable, turning on his side so he faces the window and closes his eyes to the wild blurs snow. He can hear as Shigaraki shuffles around to probably put on his partial-finger gloves and the way his boss sighs deeply at the warmth of the sheets when he settles in.

Before Dabi falls asleep, he hears a soft, “Thank you.”

When Dabi wakes up, it's to the sun’s bright reflection off the fallen white snow and Shigaraki’s arm curled around his waist, soft puffs of air gently ruffling the hair at the back of his head.

‘Oh my Gods.’

Dabi can’t even get mad, really, he set himself up for this one.

He heats up a pillow, wiggles out of his boss’s embrace, and shoves the pillow in his place, watching as Shigaraki mumbles a bit before snuggling into the pillow like a child.

‘He’s just a kid,’ Dabi can’t help think, for a moment.

He quietly walks out of Shigaraki’s room, closes the door with a quiet ‘click’, and, unfortunately, bumps right into Toga.

Toga’s eyes widen as Dabi silently wishes to incinerate himself, “Whaaa....” and then smiles deviously, “Dabi, have you and Shiggy — ”

“No, you psycho, for fuck's sake,” Dabi quickly shuts the girl down, “Boss has no damn circulation. He was fuckin’... cold. Fuck off.”

To his surprise, Toga actually backs off with a hum and a tilt of her head, “Hm. Well, I guess that’s good. You like your mysterious recruit, anyways, huh?”

Dabi mushes a hand in her face, “Shut up, you watch too many damn movies…” ]

“Tch, that little sneak acted so innocent,” Touya purses his lips before a lightbulb goes off in his head, and he whips his head to look back at Keigo, “So that’s why you got us personal heaters for Christmas.”

Keigo’s cheeks blush, “I, uh, also got Shiggy the fleece pajamas.”

“Gods, you mama bird.”

Keigo splutters at that, open palms frantically indicating towards Touya, “Says the literal mama bird.”

“Shut up,” Touya feels embarrassed, thinking of all the things Keigo pointed out that Touya has always chosen to selectively forget. Acknowledging himself as anything close to human makes him sick, makes his head spin up and tangle itself within the greyed ethics he’s managed to hang onto in this new body.

However, he’s not so sure he can compartmentalize pieces of himself like this anymore, not after Keigo, not after Natsou and Shouto and the way he’s lived this past month.

He changes the subject, seeing an opportunity to ask something he’s been avoiding for a while, “I’m wondering — did you do it out of concern or to keep him away from me?”

“A little bit of both, to be honest. Maybe, like. Forty-sixty.”

Touya’s a bit silent, after that. He thinks of what he really wants to say, what he needs Keigo to understand.

“Look,” He starts, “I don’t ever wanna be owned. Feel like — property. And you... I dunno if it's a bird thing or what but, you…” Touya looks Keigo in the eye, feeling so, so vulnerable, “You look like you wanna keep me. And that really freaks me out.”

Keigo sighs dejectedly, “Yeah, I noticed you were different with me after I pointed out Shigaraki’s… interest. Felt like you didn’t wanna be alone with me, and on Christmas… I wanted to kick myself after the mistletoe thing.”

“I didn’t mind that. Christmas was — good,” Touya flushes slightly, before mentally shaking himself back to the real point of this conversation and muttering, “Patching my hip back up wasn’t.”

“Fuck,” Keigo whispers, starting to shake his head in something that looks like shame, “I’m so fucking sorry. My raptor instincts got the best of me, but that’s no excuse.”

“Can you control it? Your… instincts?” Touya feels a bit like a dickhead for asking. He was there during the times Spinner and Keigo confessed to being stereotyped as things akin to beasts among non-heteromorphic people, but when Touya hears words like, ‘instinct,’ he needs to be cautious.

“Yes,” Keigo says desperately, “I’m new to all this but, you gotta know, I don’t wanna own you, Dabi. I’d never put you in a cage. I was just jealous, but I had no right. Still don’t, especially now.”

Touya takes the plunge, his heart racing a mile a minute, “Do you want it? The right?”

Keigo smiles, ever-so-kindly, and Touya feels a warm hand wrap around one of his ankles, his thumb stroking the bridge where healthy flesh still lives, “No one can have rights to you, love. I just want you, in any way you’ll let me.”

Touya’s heart soars.

He moves, crawling close to Keigo before fumbling into the hero’s lap, both men careful and slow around his fresh wrappings. Keigo’s hands fall to the dip of his back and the meat of his thigh, Touya’s cradling the hero’s strong jawline as if it were made of hand-blown glass, precious and one-of-a-kind.

“I want the same,” He avows on pink lips.

Pink lips that slide into a beautiful smile, “I’m yours, Dabs.”

“Touya,” He corrects, sliding a hand around to tangle his fingers in blond hair, “I want you to call me Touya, when we’re like this.”

Pink lips that round out, “Touya,” against his own.

His whole body shudders.

Pink lips that fervently surge up to claim his own.

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kaphyr · 2 years ago

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Making Shigaraki Make Sense

Is anyone else confused by the “character” Shigaraki not his disjointed philosophy or whatever? I literally don’t get what’s going on as a writer. He’s confusing and I have no idea how to write him into a fic - and honestly, there are barely any Shigaraki-centric fics I like out there.

(If you have any thoughts on Shigaraki’s character or recs for Shigaraki-centric fics (preferably ShigarakixIzuku) do leave them in the comments/DM me :D )

However! I found a solution - basically, I stopped being lazy and actually did the thing I normally do when writing a book: a Character Sheet!

Essentially, the way that I understand Shigaraki (by which I mean I don’t) didn’t gel with the story I was making or the relationships I was building, so, I figured I would build him from the ground up!

Which meant research. Ew.

First things first, I kept his physical description though I gave him scars where he got shot during the USJ arc. But since I don’t know what exactly he’s got going on with his skin, I thought I might explain it as a mixture of conditions: being extra dry (Catching UFOs by mrjengablock - which I just started reading - talks about how that might be helping him have direct contact with objects without oils/sweat getting in the way), stress-induced eczema, and a very mild dust allergy (lol). Also, I’m not leaving him like that just because! I’m doing that to show how little he cares for appearances (based on societal expectations) as well as not caring about the pain or even thinking that’s just how his life has to be for him.

Enter Izuku!

Izuku helps him take care of himself, buying him eczema cream, washing and styling his hair, and getting him petroleum jelly (which I assume would be the least painful and least likely to react badly with his cuts). This is how I can show that Shigaraki can compromise and does consider Izuku’s opinion and shit.

Second: Shigaraki’s personality.

I basically used what was on the BNHA wiki but added that he cares about Izuku and that he gets less irritable as time goes on. He also feels proud when Izuku says/does things that go against the hero status quo. He also changes from believing in chaos for the sake of chaos and being directionless under AFO (seeing as in my fic AFO is dead).

Third: Shigaraki’s relationships

I did a lot of changes here, the most notable one being his relationship with Izuku. As Izuku didn’t go to UA, they didn’t meet until Izuku was 20 and they had a couple of one-night-stands that devolved into the mess of a labelless thing they have rn. Think open relationship with someone you’re constantly arguing with but would die for.

Since LoV isn’t exactly a thing, rn, Shigaraki only has close contact with Dabi and Kurogiri. He still has a master/servant relationship with Kurogiri - actually, it is more pronounced here than in canon because AFO is dead so Shigaraki is his only boss. Dabi hangs around the bar and still works with him as muscle, tech guy, and a friend. He split up with Toga on good terms (this will become relevant later in my fic). He’ll meet Spinner online and they’ll bond over gaming. I think I’ll have him radicalize Spinner. We’ll see. As for AFO, he slowly realizes how AFO was just using him, moulding him.

Fourth: Shigaraki’s past.

It’s the same, lol. Except I’m pushing the USJ and training in the mountains arc to Katsuki’s last year in UA. Additionally, AFO and OFA die after his kidnapping.

Fifth: Shigaraki’s political ideology.

BNHA is inherently highly political and I don’t know why I’m surprised it’s such a letdown when it tries not to be. Honestly, some of my biggest gripes are right here. It’s trying to make Shigaraki an “anarchist” the way that the West colloquially understands them to be. (He wants to end society as it is and believes “the strong should live, the weak should die, and I am strong”.) Which. I can’t explain how much I find that annoying. In canon, he’s just an annoying manchild who can’t even take his thoughts to their logical conclusion. Dude, if you hate the fact that you were overlooked in a world where there are heroes and you suffered greatly, what do you think will happen to all the children in the world if you destroy it!?!!?!!

Anyways.

I’m not saying it’s unrealistic to make him this destructive while also making his grievances and actions clash - but it does make him stupid. Or willfully ignorant. And I don’t think he should be. He’s strong, he’s charismatic (in his own ways) and he already has a bunch of negative qualities (stubbornness, bad temper, etc.); he doesn’t need this.

So, instead, I’m making him start off with the same ideology except it’s going to get refined with AFO no longer controlling him and Izuku being in his life. I don’t wanna spoil too much but I’m thinking terrorism/stochastic terrorisim, using social media, (political) tailing (i.e. using other political movements to build your own), espionage, etc. All of it to expose how the hero system is corrupt, corrupted, and unnecessary and to find other ways for people to live the life they want to live no matter their quirk. Basically telling a story where you can imagine that he sees himself as the hero of his own story instead of an unthinking villain.

Would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this. BTW, I found Lots of Thoughts about MHA by sarehptar (Tumblr post version) to be a great resource when I was just staring to think about my BNHA fic: The Long Defeat.

#been meaning to do this for a while #BTW this is for my fic #The Long Defeat #shigaraki #mha shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki headcanons #shigaraki hcs #ao3 #Read on AO3 #ao3fic #ao3 author

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thequietmanno1 · 1 year ago

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Thelreads, MHA 278, Replies Part 2

1) "oh ouch, I think that Midnight definitely broke something on that fall”- She not only fell two stories through some solid tree branches, I think those rubble chunks crushed her underneath on the way down.

2) “Alright Midnight, I believe at you, you definitely has a plan ready right now, don’t you? There’s no way we gonna let that thing reach Shigaraki, oh no, you will solve this problem, for sure”- She can’t solve the problem, but she’s got a direct line to the smartest student in 1A for some aid in getting it fixed.

3) “Or maybe she’ll just synthesize a copy of Midnight’s gas- wait, can she even do that? I mean, if she knew the formula she could, I suppose? Can she create a gas? I feel like we already talked about this before but I don’t remember which consensus we reached”- It doesn’t have to be Midnight’s gas specifically, just a very strong aesthetic. And if you evaporated it, I guess it would become a gaseous form, but as it stands it’s actually more effective for it to be a liquid, so they can directly inject it into Machia’s body without it getting blown away or dispersed otherwise. I don’t know how midnight’s gas would have worked up against Dabi’s fires and the hot updrafts they create, but I bet it wouldn’t have been that good.

4) “oh no Midnight, she has no idea, it’s not like they couldn’t see a woman flying through the skies and then crashing down”- Well, most of them actually didn’t. it’s a little hard to tell, but Machia is blitzing across the forest landscape, so he tossed Mt lady aside several miles back and has nearly reached the kids by the time she catches back up. His size and his speed mean he’s like a mountain moving at the speed of a bullet train, and just as unstoppable.

5) “MIDNIGHT PLEASE STOP RAISING FLAGS THERE WE KINDA CAN’T SPARE THE TIME FOR THAT”- In her defence, she doesn’t tell the kids to fight Machia themselves, she tells them to make the sedatives, pass them onto any adult heroes around and then get out of the danger zone. Choosing to engage with Machia and cut out the middle man is Momo’s decision, but Midnight was only expecting the kids to try and inject Machia if there wasn’t anybody else who could do it for them, and even then, only because of the loss of life he’d bring otherwise. Sadly, the kids having all been evacuated from the front lines means that there really aren’t any adults around to aid them, so they’ve got to be the heroes who’ll save the day themselves this time.

6) “MOMO PLEASE DON’T DOUBT YOURSELF

WE ALL DEPEND ON YOU NOW”- Had it not been for the confidence-boosting chat she and Shoto had against Aizawa and Shoto reaffirming how amazing she is, I actually think Momo would have cracked under the pressure here. It’s a lot to ask of her, making a call that could decide whether or not her friends will live to see tomorrow, or do nothing and take the risk of the damage that Machia will unleash. Obviously, he’s gotta be stopped, but she’s being asked to weigh the likelihood of their success and survival in a split second. It’s just neat seeing how the small events like that come back to have an impact on the kids later on when the situation truly becomes serious for them.

7) “ALRIGHT, SO I ASSUME SHE WANTS TO KNOW HOW LONG SHE HAS TO SYNTHESIZE THE GAS, AND HOW MUCH OF IT SHE’LL NEED BASED ON HIS SIZE. MUDMAN IS PROBABLY MEANT TO SLOW HIM DOWN SO THEY CAN HIT HIM WITH IT”- More like how long they can afford to get into position for the most optimal plan of attack, since Momo made that serum in a second and made enough for everybody to have an chance at injecting it into Machia

8) “MT LADY IS STILL KICKING

UNLIKE KAMUI AND MIDNIGHT, YOU AINT GONNA PUT THIS MOUNTAIN DOWN”- Well, Kamui’s helping too, but even with them both getting beaten up the villains, nether one is breaking down…which bodes poorly for their chance of surviving this, or how damaged they’ll be in the aftermath. Machia isn’t even really fighting them right now, he’s just pushing past them and ignoring their attempts, and they’ve still gotten this banged up because of how unstoppable he is.

9) “HELL FUCKING YEAH MOMO! THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

TIME TO PUT THE GIANT TO SLEEP”- Time to beat Jack’s record for Giant-slaying…

@thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #mha278

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rosewantstowrite · 2 years ago

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A/N: This is just how I know it to be for myself. Also I had made the decision while talking to my friend Nikki (thezoruagirl on tumblr) that this will not be a Dabi/Touya Todoroki x reader, Shoto Todoroki x reader story, for the sake of this story plot line I have made the excessively decision to age Shoto up to I believed I said to 21 which means everyone in 1A will also be in their early twenties when they appear, also I’m so very sorry that’s this so long of a chapter but this is one of the most important one because this is explaining how Akira become Aphrodite and why she hates Enji so much and when she realized she was a system so this is meant to give you backstory and let you feel what characters you’ll continually see through out the book which won’t be all of them, and you’ll get to meet the three main alters who's there to help Akira but you’ll find more out about the rest of the alters as the book go on, and I will say this right now; there will be a child alter and in those chapters with her in them I don’t think there will be spicy things so yeah, I know you don’t really get much of Shoto in this BUT don’t worry the next few chapters will have him. I think that’s it!! Also read the tags!! Thank you. This will have DID, now I’m going to say this, I have it, and what you’ll read about it is my experience with it and other systems, other people who have DID have different experiences from me. So don’t try to use mine as a way to say you have it. If you have it please do not come to me and complain about how wrong I have described it.

January 18th, unknown year

Touya was waking up to a loud scream and bouncing on his bed, his cerulean eyes opening up to be greeted by his short, blond hair, purple eyed girlfriend who he had grown to love. He stared at her as she kept bouncing up and down on the bed, but not before she realized that he was awake, so when she saw him awake she grinned mischievously and leaned down before cupping his face with a giggle that had his heart pounding. “Happy 13th birthday Touya!” She screamed in his face happily, he laughs and push her away softly before sitting up, his face was an inch away from hers, he felt his face heat up, he looked at her lips, they look so soft and he wanted to kiss them, so he leans up before wrapping her into his arms as he pressed his lips to hers, she stiffen before relaxing against his touch, kissing him back. He smiles into the kiss and brings her closer, making her sit in his lap, she blushed darkly and pulls away, before he could say anything else the door opened to reveal Rei, she giggled making both kids jump out of each other’s arms and scrambled away from each other but Akira went too far and fall off the bed. “Mom! It’s not what it looks like!” He screams but Rei laughs softly before she walks up to help Akira up. “It’s looking at my child and his girlfriend who was about to start to make out then was trying to get dirty when you two have no idea how it works.” She said and Akira blushed darkly and looked away. “That’s not- That’s not at all what would have happened!” Akira screamed and covered her face in embarrassment. Rei just laughs and shakes her head. “Come on kids, dinner is on the table so let’s go.” She says and Akira quickly ran out of the room so she was far away from the teasing she knew was happening with Rei, she slowed down when she got to the table. She sat down on the chair by the hallway, Touya took a seat beside her, smirking as he set a hand on her thighs, she glared at him and looked up when she heard everyone else come in.

Though Enji looked very unhappy that Akira was here, she looked away and began to pick at her food, Touya squeezed her thigh softly before glaring at his father for making her uncomfortable. After dinner Touya had said that he and Akira waswas ing to the training room and train with their quirks, when they got into the room, they begin to fight as Touya used his flames while she moved away from him before using her quirk that allow her to read the person’s mind so she used it on Touya where he had the idea and begin to throw as many flamesflames at her, so she quickly jumps every time he threw flames at her, she smirks and jumps away before she went behind him and touched his neck before closing her eyes as she tried out her new quirk she has discovered she has when she accidentally had touch her best friend and her best friend had turn to the guy in her group before kissing him deeply, she went home that night and told her parents about it and they were surprised when they heard that, but it made since since her mother had something like that, it was a lust quirk sure but it was also a way to find the person she was in love with by imagining them and her mind would become like a map that’s leads her to her lover, and she sometimes could make people have the need to has sex to get over the list that would consume them, it would be take five hours for it to fully wear off, and the person needed to cum at least once, so when they heard that’s Akira inherited her mother’s quirk they had told her not to not to use it, but she argued that she should learn how to, so they reclauntly taught her everything about the quirk, since they knew she had the mind quirk too and they were already training her they added that quirk too.

She hums softly as she kept trying to use it but when she felt the heat of Touya’s hand on hers she gasped and tried to pull away but he pulled her over his shoulder making her land on the as gently as he could he had flung her onto the ground before looming over her with his pupils blown wide open with a look that she hadn’t seen before, and she felt weird and afraid, he leans down and capture her lips into his as he rest his hands on her hips as he grind his against her, causing her to let out a noise that got her feeling shy, but when she heard a growled she gasped and roughly push her boyfriend away, she looked at the door to see Enji, his eyes were cold as ice and he has his fist clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “What are you two doing?!” He growled and stomped over so he could pulled Touya off of Akira completely before roughly pulling her up and shoved her out of the door. “Go home and never come back! You’re banned from visiting Touya!” He screamed before he looked at his son and started screaming at him, she could hear everything that was being said, she quickly ran out of the house and ran down down the streets fighting back the tears, Enji’s words to his son was replying in her head the entire time, ‘she’s not worth you destroying your lfe!’ ‘she’s just a slut!’ ‘she can’t be anything but a bad influence on you to keep using your quirk, I won’t allow it!’ Those words hurts her a lot.

She slowed down after getting far away from the Todoroki’s house, she licked her lips and wipe her tear stain cheeks harshly then her eyes, as she walked down the street and stopped when she heard a noise. She looked around trying to hear where it come from, she chewed on her bottom lip, she kept walking but she froze when she felt a hand on her mouth and a hand between her thighs, she started to thrash around trying to escape but that’s seems to drive the attacker to keep going, the attacker dragged her into a dark alleyway and pushed her into a wall, he roughly yanked her panties down in one swift motions, he chuckled darkly when she begins to cry and sob out for help. He slides his hand down in between her thighs and begins to rub up and down in her slits. She sobs even more but she thrashes around trying to hide from the attacker. “Please stop!” She screamed loudly. He growled and slapped her across her face tug his own pants and boxers down before roughly thrusting into her, causing blood to trickled down her thighs, she tried to push him away but he moved harsher in her, after a good thirty minutes she felt him cum in her, he pulled out and stuffed himself back in his confinements. He looked at her and smirked before walking away as she cried out and tried to pull herself together and walked home, she closed her eyes as she got to the door.

She leaned against the house front door, as she cried softly and walked into the house, she walked into the room, she looked around trying to see if anyone was home. She stopped as she shaking her head when she saw her uncle was already drunk and she tried to sneak away but he heard her, he looked at her before he growled in disgust as he saw markings and blood staining her white dress. “You let that fucking disgrace fuck you and let yourself be deflowered by someone who wasn’t worthy?!” He scream as hehe slapped her across the face before kneeing her in her stomach, she screamed loudly and dropped to her knees, clenching her stomach, while she was kneeling her uncle had kicked her in the face breaking her nose, she fall to her side as the pain was searing through her body. As she laid on her side, her uncle decided to kick and hit her all over her body, surely leaving bruises everywhere, she tried to stop him but he wouldn’t lay off, after an hour of this treatment she felt her eyes grew heavy and her body growing heavy as well she could feel herself falling into unconsciousness, but she heard the door open and her mother screaming something soon she felt no more kicking, she begin fall more unconscious, before she fully went unconscious she felt herself be picked up. After what feels like forever she finally woke up and found herself blinded by bright lights, her eyes blinked several times before she looks around to finally hear the beeping, she turn her head to see a monitor, then she looked down and saw she was connected with wires, she looked around to see her mother and father there looking at her, with relief in their eyes. “W-what happened?” She asked groggily. “I found you getting beaten by your uncle, he tried to say you let Touya take your virginity, is that true?” Her mother asked, Akira shook her head quickly. “No! I got raped! When I was walking home because I accidentally used the quirk I told you guys about and you said not to use it, I used it on Touya and he got in between my legs and Enji got super mad and pushed me out and told me to go home and never to come back, I was walking home then this guy pulled me in a dark alleyway and then before I could try to escape he had rape me!” She cried loudly and her parents looked at each other before nodding their heads.

“That just means we need to leave. Before someone tries to hurt you again. I’ll call Rei and tell her that we are leaving, that we will come back soon.” Her father lied and went out to the hallway, Akira began to sob even more as she felt her whole world was falling apart. Her mother frowned before she placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “I know this isn’t what you want but it’ll be better for you, I promise.” Her mother said and she just looked away when her father came in, she felt her father touch her head. “I called them but no one answered.” He lies again, her mother sighs and asked the doctor to help put her to sleep. She dreamt about Touya, though it went back to his bedroom, she found herself looking through her own eyes but it was from underneath under Touya, she felt his hands under her skirt and on her thighs, she could hear her whimpers out and the smirk on his face told her that he was enjoying this a little too much. But she didn’t care because it feels good even though it feels weird, like it’s kinda bad. She looked down to see his chest was bear, she could see her hands reaching up and rubbing his chest, she chewed on her bottom lip. That was the last thing she remembered when the dream turned completely black.

February 14, unknown year

It was Akira’s 15th birthday, she held her daughter who was only a year old, she looked so much like Akira, but there were some features of the rapist but those were very little like his nose, his lips and how thick the hair feels. “Aphrodite, give me Astrid, you need to go to school, I’ll be sure she’s okay.” Her mother said, but Akira rolled her eyes and hands her daughter over before getting up and walking out of the house, she felt one of her alters begin to front, which one she doesn’t know. It’s either Scarlett or her other alter that’s always nice to people which is Gabby or it was the one that’s a mixture of Scarlett and Gabby whose name was Raven. She stopped a short step from the entrance of the school, she waited to feel the altar to front. She blacked out for a moment, but when her eyes opened, it was Raven, she walked in before she was stopped by Akira’s boyfriend, who knew nothing about Akira’s disorder. He leaned in and placed his hand in the back pocket of her skinny jeans. She shot him a look but he just chuckled and lead her through the hallway like he owed her, even though it pissed off Raven since he wasn’t nothing more than a placeholder for Touya emotionally, he couldn’t act like he owns her fully, even when they’re alone, Akira would keep him at arm length because she wasn’t attracted to him in the way she was with Touya, but she heard from one of her friends that Touya died so she knew she couldn’t ever have him back in her life, she sighs softly and walked with the boyfriend to her locker, when he heard his friends call out to him, he left her alone, she begin to grabs everything she needed before her locker was shut in her face, Raven looked over at the group of girls who was glaring at her. “What are you fucking doing? Didn’t we say to break up with him because he deserves someone better than you slut?” The leader Charlotte sneers in distaste, the other girls nod their heads. Raven just laughs coldly, she turns to face the group before smirking as she puts on an innocent act, licking her lips as she tilts her head. “You did? I guess I didn’t hear that. But I won’t break up with him just because you whores just want to have him fuck you all in turns and try to ruin his life by probably being that kind of sex partner to tell him one thing to lie and have him gets you pregnant just to trap him.” She said in a low innocent tone, the girls growled and crowded around her, but Charlotte was in the middle of the group so she could fight Raven. “Listen here Aphrodite, you’re just jealous that you don’t have anything to offer him, because if you did you would have given him exactly what he wants since we already know you’re not a virgin since you had a child at the age of 13, so you obviously put out.” Charlotte sneers and swings at Raven. But being trained as a hero she learned how to fight so she quickly dodged and hit Charlotte in the back before kicking at the back of her knee making the girl drop to her knees. “You don’t know anything, I might have a child, but I never put out, you’re the one who puts out and one day you’ll get your karma when one of the boys you try to get with just uses it for sex and then gets tossed aside when he finally falls in love.” Raven said before walking away and into the class.

After school Aphrodite finally fronts unknown of what happens, she started to walked home but stop when she got a text from a number that was a Japan but it wasn’t saved in her phone, she arched a brow and opened the text to see it was a happy birthday text and saying that they misses her. She arched a brow before putting it away and onto the street that held her house. She kept walking until she heard footsteps behind her. She got her lust quirk ready but stopped when she saw it was just her boyfriend. She laughed softly and waited for her boyfriend to catch up to her. They kept walking as they talked, but eventually she had to stop him because he was acting too sexual for herself to enjoy his presence, moments like this made her wants Touya here and have him scare the living shit out of her boyfriend and walked her home the rest of the way but she knew that’ll never happen because Touya was dead, that she’ll never see his beautiful blue eyes, she closed her eyes and shakes her head, and pulled away from her boyfriend, but that’s seems to angered at him because he shoved her into the wall that was near them and shoved his knee in between her legs and pressed it against her clothed core, this reminded her so much of the faithful night that she got pregnant by being raped. She started to feel the tears well up in her eyes. “Now why are you crying? This is what lovers do right? Having sex with each other?” He asked in her ear, she shook her head before pushing against him as she tried to push him away. “No! Please let me go! This isn’t what I want!” She screamed and shoved him away more but he pressed his knee even more against her core, she shakes her head and glares at him. “I told you that I don’t want to sleep with you!” She screamed loudly and he slapped her crossed her face, that when she closed her eyes and ready to be raped again, but then she felt her begin to dissociate and she knew that one of her alters was about to appear, and that was the last thing she remembers. Because when she opens her eyes, there is no longer any affection towards the guy with his knee in between her thighs. “I suggest you remove your fucking knee before I rip you apart, I told you once and I told you over multiple times that I don’t want your short fucking dick inside of me. So you know, let go of me.” She threatened which made him growled and tried to hit her again but she caught his wrist in a painful tight grip.

She smirks before twisting his wrist in a painful way as he cries out and tries to yank his wrist away from her grip, she smirks and tilts her head. “Now, are you going to respect my boundaries?” She asked before he nodded his head quickly and she roughly pushed him away and stood up before straightening her clothes and smooth them off. She watch him walked away before walking toward her home proud with the result, she got to the front door before her cell phone chimes once again, she growled and pull her phone out to see the very sane unknown phone number saying that when this person gets her back in their arms and that they’ll never let go of her and makes sure they will forever be together. She felt heat rush to her lower stomach and quickly shoved it in her pocket before walking in the house, she blinks when it was lit by candles, she walked further in before looking around to see presents wrapped in her favorite wrapping paper that only her friends in Japan knew about and especially this one was more special to her because Touya only knew that this specific theme wrapping paper was her favorite, this spread dread and need to spread into her lower stomach, she chewed on her bottom lip before picking up the package before walking towards the kitchen as she saw her parents there waiting for her with scared facial expressions. “What’s wrong?” Scarlett asked which made her parents even more scared because Scarlett was out. “What?” She asked annoyed since she didn’t like the looks that she was getting. “Scarlett, why are you out?” Her father asked and she laughed humorlessly. “Aphrodite's boyfriend tried to force himself onto us and I had to come out to protect us.” She said and her parents seemed to grow angry before they lay eyes on the box. “I see you saw the candles and obviously the box.” Her father asked and Scarlett just nodded her head, sighing softly. “How is it Touya sending Aphrodite a present when he’s supposed to be dead?” She asked in a quiet voice. Because even she was scared, because Scarlett knew that if this was really from him, it’s means he’s not dead and he somehow found their new address, she drop the box in the table and tear it open before picking up a small teddy bear, one that’s Aphrodite would keep in his room. She picked up a note but it looked messy, and unable to really read it, she squinted her eyes and read over it more and more. She felt the knot in her stomach calm down when she realized that she didn’t need to worry because she saw the neat letters that were S and T. She finally realized that this was Shoto, who only knew where she lived and who might have known about the paper, but she wonder who did the candles and puts the box in the house, she shook her head and quickly let Aphrodite come back out so she could run upstairs to see if her daughter was okay. When she saw her beside Aphrodite’s bed, she sighs softly in relief before picking her up and holding her close, she felt her heart slowly come down from its running episode it was on. Aphrodite places Astrid back down and stripped down to nothing and climb on her bed, she grabs the toy she had bought last week even though her parents knew they didn’t care, she slid it down her slits before she stopped hearing Astrid cry, she sighs and puts the toy away before getting dressed and picked her up before walking downstairs. She walked down and saw her parents finally cleaned up the living room. She grabbed the bouncer and placed Astrid in it.

She licks her lips and groans loudly before she fishes out the phone and looks at the text from her boyfriend. It was a threatening text saying if she would ever come to him ever again if they’re not at school that he’ll ruin her social life. She shakes her head and replies that he doesn’t have to worry because they are over.

March 18, unknown year

Aphrodite was now 18, her daughter was only 3 years old, she was walking around and always already speaking. She smiled brightly as she watched Astrid going around with the teddy bear that Shoto had somehow gotten to her. She couldn’t bear to part with it but she couldn’t keep looking at the stuffed animal and she thought it was the best idea to give her daughter it. She knew her daughter always saying it was from her guardian angel, she kept saying he had white hair, blue eyes and burns all over his body. This made Aphrodite question if she had a quirk that lets her see the dead, she shook her head and walked more. Though the thought made Aphrodite stop and turn to face her daughter. “Have… Has your guardian angel said anything about me?” She asked and the way her daughter’s face lit up made her know he had. “Yeah! He keeps saying he’s sorry he wasn’t there when you had me, that you were left alone, but he promises that one day you two will meet up again, and he’ll be sure to love you the way you had loved him! Though he keeps saying something like he’s sorry that he isn’t the guy you had fallen in love with as kids.” Astrid said, making Aphrodite’s brows knot in confusion. “What do you mean?” She asked and Astrid held the bear out and wiggle it around. “He says that he's no longer a good guy, he’s just a villain and he’s sorry for everything.” She said and Aphrodite took the bear from her and look into the eyes unknowing to her that there was a camera that was hooked up to Touya’s phone, and whenever it’s picks up any noise it's signal to his phone and he’d open it and he was expecting to see the little girl who always looking at the bear, but when he open it, he saw something he didn’t expect to see on millions years up close again, those beautiful piercing purple with gold specks littering in the purple eyes, though he felt guilty because he could see that she was hurting, that there was in them. He wondered what made her look like that. So he turned on the volume so he could hear whatever was going on on the other side.

“Baby girl, what do you mean about him being a villain?” His breath got caught in his throat when he heard how much more gentler her voice had gotten, how softer it was, how it sounded like she was completely different from the confident loud mouth girl she used to be. “He says that he has become a villain because he needs to hurt his father for what he has done to you and to him.” He heard the little girl say. “Hunny, he’s dead, he was burned alive, his father had found only his jaw-“ he heard her talk about him, but what the little girl said next caused his blood to freeze in his veins. “No mommy! He’s alive, he said he got rescued by someone!” The little girl screamed, mommy? Why did she call his Akira that? “Astrid! Stop this nonsense right now! Go to your room!” Aphrodite screamed back and he saw the little girl tear up and run away, then he saw those eyes again, they looked like they were about to produce their own water too, she began to walk up the stairs. “Oh Touya, how I wish you were here, she’s so much like me, I wish you could meet her,” he heard her start and saw as she sat the bear down on the bed and she laid down on it facing the bear. “I was only 13 when I had her, all because some guy couldn’t hold his sick desire to have sex with a minor to himself, she has his nose, lips and hair but somehow she has your intensity, it makes me cry because I miss you so much, makes me wish I was there the day you died so we could be in heaven together.” She muttered before her eyes closed and he heard the noises he missed. He turned the volume off and kept the screen splay there.

“Once I find you, I’ll make sure to erase that memory from your mind. I might not be Touya anymore, but I’m going to make sure you love me back then.” He muttered before falling asleep, the next morning he woke up to see that the room had changed and he was staring at Astrid, her face was puffy, her eyes were all red. He turned everything on so he could deliver a message to her. “Little one, don’t cry, I’ll make mommy happy again, just keep this on you all the time now.” He said then turn everything off.

February 14, unknown year

It was Aphrodite’s 21st birthday, and Aphrodite woke up as she sighs, walking into her daughter’s room to find the teddy bear sitting on the bedside table, she looked around trying to find Astrid, because she wasn’t in here. She walked over to the bear and picked it up, rubbing the bear’s head, feeling her heart ache at the memory where Touya had gotten it for her on her 5th birthday, she was so happy to have it and promised him she’ll always keep it. That she will never lose it. The third time she went over there with it she had decided that it should be kept in Touya’s room for whenever she had visited and stayed that night and he gave her one that looked like the bear but with small details that was different. She looked into the eyes and sighs as tears started to swell in her eyes, Touya was scrolling through his apps when he decided to check the app that was connected to the bear and saw a sight that’s hurt him so deeply, there was the girl he was so in love with, tears in her beautiful purple eyes that’s had a sparkle of gold in them, they look heavy and tired with circles, has she not been sleeping well? Her brows were in crease into a thin line, her lips in a tight thin line that she had them in whenever she had tried to hide her trembling bottom lip and a pout that could make his heart break for her. Her hair was all over the place, sticking out every which way, as if she had just woken up, and by how pale her face was the sleeping not well was conform and it made his blood boil to the point he wanted to scream, but he stayed focused and watched her. She had gotten even skinnier, like she hadn't been eating, her eyes were becoming more cold and distant and that scared the living shit out of him. What had happened to the girl he fell head over heels for that made her start to do this to her? She looked so broken, has someone broken her heart? Has someone tried to take her daughter away from her? Has someone been harassing her? He was to speak when he heard her sobs quietly.

Since November Aphrodite has been having reaccruing nightmares about the night she got raped, the night she learned that Touya had burn down the forest on the peak and had burnt himself to death and the only thing left of him was part of his chain, and of course the man would visit her blaming her for his death, blaming her for leaving him, he would tell her she wouldn’t find peace because she doesn’t deserve it. He was right, at least to her, he was right. If she hadn’t used her quirk at the time; the lust quirk on him which had caused him to act out on impure thoughts and had straddled her and kissed her with such passionate Enji wouldn’t have gotten mad, he wouldn’t have thrown her out, he wouldn’t have berate Touya but because she did that and left without telling anyone Touya had ran to the peek and tried to impress his dad and that’s where everything went downhill, he had died, no body, no nothing just destruction lay in the wake of the fire that’s was Touya’s. She kept sobbing, shaking as she gripped the bear tightly. “Touya… I’m so sorry! If I had listen to my parents, if I had never used the quirk on you, you wouldn’t have been bareted and I wouldn’t have been raped, I would have been able to stop you, you could have stayed alive!” She screamed as sobs wracked her body, she fell to her knees and the bear was dropped, forgotten about, she gripped her shirt and let out the loudest scream she had ever done since the day in the alleyway. “I missed you so much Touya, I wish you were here to celebrate with me. I need you so bad, to hear your voice once more, to have you to tell me it’s okay.” She laughed watery. “Astrid is 6 now, can you believe that?” She shakes her head and picks the bear up again.

Touya couldn’t keep quiet anymore and sighs softly. “Akira, I can believe that, you’re not alone, I’m right here. I’ve always been here.” She heard a voice, she quickly looked around worriedly, she chewed on her bottom lip. “T-Touya?!” She called out and he laughed softly once more. “Yes my love, it’s me.” He said cheekily but that stopped when she looked at the bear with brand new tears. “W-where are you?” She asked out softly and bit her bottom lip hard to keep from crying. “I can’t say that. But now I’ll be with you in time.” He said and she shakes harshly before she covers her face and shakes her head. “I’m sorry Touya, for everything.” She muttered. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay.” He said and his heart broke when he saw her shake her head as she put the bear back down and walked out of the room completely to find her daughter.

May 19, unknown year

Aphrodite was now 22, she chewed on her bottom lip as she paced around her house, her mom had warned her about Enji’s idea. This was not good, not good at all. How could he expect her to marry Shoto? No, she didn’t hate the youngest Todoroki, in fact she almost loved him as much as she loved his brother. She didn’t know when the feelings spouted in her heart for a dual tone hair child, but she was with Touya and how could she let this happen? She felt so ashamed of this that whenever he tried to hang out with her she would always put distance between them, especially when Touya wasn’t around because she’s afraid of what would happen if she touched his skin, the day where he got the burn she was so furious with Rei, that she almost threw away cautions and touch his burn but she knew if she did she would kiss him and pull him close and she couldn’t do that to him or Touya, so she didn’t say anything, but now she heard he was all grown up and that Enji somehow found out that she harbor feelings for him, so he contact her parents and offered to pay them to get her to marry Shoto, even though she was in love with him, she couldn’t. But her father accepted the money saying this will be for Astrid, that they’ll be leaving in a week to go back to Japan. So she planned an escape, feeling bad for the idea she had come up with, she was going to fake her death. She chewed on her bottom lip and looked at the teddy bear she had stolen from Astrid’s room, she had found out there was a spy system in it. She thought it was from Ej, not aware that it was actually Touya. She needed to do this so she could act out her revenge on Enji, and she needed to be a phantom to do it, she knew this was going to hurt everyone but this will need to happen.

It was now midnight when she had put her plan into motion. She picked up the bear and put it outside of house but keeping it close enough that’ll it get set on fire too, she quickly told Astrid to stand outside and she begin to soak the whole house in gasoline before going to the bear, she soak that in gasoline too, she set that on fire first, which made the eldest son of Todoroki wake up and panic as he saw smoke, he squint to see that the house was on fire as well, his heart sank to his stomach, he screamed and wail as he tried to get a reaction from anyone, but all he could hear the crackling of the fire, then he heard the one sound he didn’t want to hear, the sound of Aphrodite screaming bloody murder then it dead off as sirens was heard, unknown to him that she had put real life looking dolls that look like Aphrodite and Astrid, but they were long gone, going to the airport, Aphrodite had already gotten her hair dyed and cut, she had gotten more piercings, she held her daughter as they got there, with only clothes on their back, they board the plane and when she got the notification of her death, she felt herself being released from a tight hold. She chewed on her bottom lip as she heard Astrid snore in her arms. She had a friend in Japan, Keigo Takami.

After landing, she has texted him, she sent him what she looks like and he texted back that he will be there in a minute, still hidden in the hoodies, she stayed in the shadows, just in case she was being looked for, seeing Keigo’s car, she quickly ran to the car and sat in the back so she could hold on to Astrid. She explained everything again to him as he drove to the apartment he had gotten for her, it was simple, to bedrooms, one bath, kitchen, and a living room. It wasn’t perfect, but it’ll do. After saying he’ll come back later in the day so they could get clothes for them she walks around to notice that Keigo had already gotten everything but clothes, she laughs before settling on the bed with Astrid and falling asleep.

February 14, unknown year

Aphrodite had been in Japan for three years now, never leaving the apartment, only because Keigo had told her that if she wanted everyone to believe that she was dead she needed to stay away from everyone just in case someone was looking for her. But now he had said that everything had settled down and she could leave the house, so here she was at Keigo’s apartment dropping off Astrid, today marks the day when she starts her revenge, she pull her hood up before walking towards the square, once there she saw Enji on the screen, she sneer. She felt her blood boil, she never had forgiven him, and that’s how her mind came up with a plan. She felt bad because in this plan it would hurt Shoto, since she was going to convince him to give up her life for her only to rip away her love for him. Yes, it’s going to hurt him a lot but it’ll hurt her even more. She truly wished that things could have been different. But no, this wasn’t some fairytale, she wasn’t the main character. She was the villain.

Unknown to her, a certain blue eye villain was watching her with an amuse and curious expression, he could tell by her balling up her fists and the way her body was shaking that she didn’t enjoy the hero on the screen, but what caught him off guard was the clear as day hatred for the hero in her voice. “Endeavor today will mark the end of your peaceful life, I’ll exact my revenge.” With that she disappeared into the crowd, the lingering stare at the spot was almost intense, but then a laugh busted out from the villain, he guessed he needed to find her so he could let her in his plan, but what Touya… no what Dabi didn’t was the girl had a secret to her, that she had a dark history. One he’ll find out soon. Very soon

#touya todoroki #dabi todoroki #dabi is touya #my hero acedamia #buko no hero academia #shoto torodoki #dabi mha #bnha dabi #touya todoroki smut #shoto todoroki smut #burn into memory

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nightlilly0110 · 2 months ago

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Saw a take where someone said that they preferred the way the villains went out because they “chose to be themselves rather than be forcefully redeemed” and like. No shade to this person for their opinion but that’s not how it works. Firstly, what this person meant by forcefully redeemed was being saved. Having the villains be saved does not equal redemption. It’s the start of a potential redemption, but it’s not a sudden “Bam! You’re a good guy now!” (*stares holes into Endeavour*). Having that good ending for them also isn’t out of character, forced, or out of nowhere for them either. Shigaraki cares about the League enough to consider their feelings when making his plans. They go out of their way to get revenge on Overhaul for Magne’s death. Dabi loved his father so much as a child that he wanted to make him proud and let it consume him. Toga sacrificed herself for Uraraka. They’re not unloving. They’re not cruel. They could have had that good ending if the story had given them the space for it.

What I understood as “being saved” was being helped from the horrible situations they found themselves in, having the heroes listen to what they were saying about society leaving them to rot and going “oh that’s horrible we should fix this.” “Being saved” is the heroes looking at the villains (not counting AFO because he’s just evil for the sake of being evil) and going “they’re people just like us and society has failed them.” We got a little bit of that with Uraraka, but she couldn’t save Toga.

I understand that, by the end of the manga, it would be a very hard thing to do to have such a hard tone shift from “we need to beat the villains” to “we need to help them instead” in such a tight ending window but the idea of saving as many people as you can has been blatantly obvious since the first chapter and was still present in that final fight. It wouldn’t have been a forced redemption since Deku kept repeating that he wanted to save Shigaraki. It wouldn’t have been a forced redemption since the Todoroki family wanted to reach out to Touya.

The only issue is that with the ending we got, it scrubbed away all that groundwork we got for that. The only way to stop Dabi was to beat him until he was broken. The only way to stop Shigaraki was make him stop. Why bother show us that the heroes (hero students, specifically) wanted to understand the villains, to help them, when the ending betrays that sentiment and decides that the only way is to kill them or make it so they can’t fight anymore? Why bother show us that the villains were complex people with reasons behind the things they do and make us feel for them only for the ending to go “actually all we want to do is kill and destroy and we won’t stop”? For Dabi, I get why that was his driving force, but we actually had Shigaraki say (paraphrasing, I don’t remember the exact quote) that he wants a world that caters to his desires and the desires of his friends. He wants a world where they’re happy and safe. Yes, they use violence as a way to try to achieve that, but we know that there was an opportunity for the heroes to meet them on equal footing.

I once genuinely believed that the Hero Public Safety Commission was going to be an obstacle that was addressed in regard to who can be a hero and who dictates what the rules of hero society are. By heroes or villains, I wasn’t sure, but I thought that it could potentially have been a common enemy.

Going back to this strange take I saw - no one gets to be themselves. Shigaraki, Toga, and Kurogiri are dead. Shigaraki died with his character being reverted back to the “destruction for destruction’s sake” incarnation he was in his first appearance for no reason. Toga sacrificed herself for love but never got to be loved in return. Kurogiri never really got to explore his identity and died after a shoehorned attempt at reconciling his past. Compress and Spinner are going to be in prison for the rest of their lives. Yeah, Spinner wrote that book, but it’s not a guarantee anything will come of that. We don’t even know Compress’ backstory. Dabi will live a (most likely) short life in constant pain being visited by his abuser who faces no repercussions for what he did to him. They did not get to be themselves. There’s no solace in this ending.

It’s not forced redemption if they had a good ending, but what we got was unnecessary suffering.

#crow grumbles #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #I don’t want to think about this ending anymore but I can’t stop #it’s just so hopeless

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fictionfixations · 2 years ago

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im writing a multi-chapter fic

i found a cool song so i figured i could use it to name a few chapters over specific arc event stuff

anyway im more likely not to finish it so i dont actually care if someone steals an idea (honestly the context and notes along with each arc make more sense if you know what story it is, but HAH theres like no fanfic tags for the crossover that i have with mha besides character tags lmfao so HAVE FUN WRITING AN UNDERRATED FIC SUCKERS. ...ah.)

also manga spoilers

USJ: When I reached over to touch / your wound gently / I had realized you were ever slightly shivering

Interlude (conversations, statements, wrapping some things up): Spreading out your injured wings / after all this time

Sports Festival: With nowhere to go / your future unknown / You gaze at the sky as If you're wondering

Stain/Internships: As the meaning of “alive” / is coming to life all around / So now within my heart / I promise, on my part / That I’m here to keep you safe

Final Exam: From a faraway land comes / a chilling breeze / That is rustling through the pages of your story

Training Camp: There is a wistful glow that you wear / But hey, it’s no big deal / don’t you see?

Kamino [Deku or Kacchan? or both?]: Even if this world falls apart / I will / be always by your side / don't matter what / Anything that might be / blocking out the light

Provisional Licensing Exam: All these feelings that have turned to stone you know… / Cannot follow you into / tomorrow wherever we go

Shie Hassaikai/Work Studies (post note: REMEMBER NIGHTEYE- HE DIED. HOW DID I FORGET THAT?????): So now within my heart / I promise on my part / that I'm never going to / forget you

School Festival (Concert): As long as you know / that you’re not alone / Then you can overcome anything you see!

Pro Hero Arc (Endeavor redemption, the scar, the nomu and hawks mentioning the MLA): You are dreaming of the day / you’re once more in the sky

Joint Training Arc (SHINSOU!!! 1-A vs 1-B): And if what I say / can still find its way / There’s nothing to fear / when we are side by side

(MLA Arc, or My Villain Academia where HOLY SHTI EVERYTHING UPGRADES. but i wont show this cause this is strictly midoriya pov)

Endeavor Agency Arc (hawks drops hints, the main three take work studies, except idk if that'll still happen because logically theres no point to it. maybe work on cultivating analysis? remember that endeavor can understand deku mumble. maybe he practices more of a support role? katsuki takes a slight issue to this but deku reassures him that its fine, and that he doesn't care either way. its mainly spite that led him here.): Take as many colors from them as you can… / And paint your future just as / you had planned!

Paranormal Liberation War. ..am I really gonna do this?: I swear, ‘til I die / as long as I’m alive / I’ll be here by your side!

Dark Hero (depression) im most likely going to stop before this but how do i stop the fuck out of afo: And the bond that’s always held us close / you know… / It is stronger than you may believe / It will never let go

imagine i do a twist where the mirror world was related to all for one or something or the doctor and was a weird experiment (yknow how dabi was technically kidnapped and was in a coma for 3 years but was meant to be like a backup successor or some shit. what if... midoriya...? because he was quirkless so he must have a lot of hatred, and the fragmented memories could only strengthen that, and when he wakes up from being kidnapped during the training camp and HOLY SHIT I JUST HAD AN IDEA)

#thoughts #writing ideas #timeline #im tired

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kazudon · 3 years ago

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THIS IS PARADISE — dabi

cold air sweeps the blue flames dancing between his fingers. in the other hand is a coin, silver in color and shining like the moon above his head. dabi isn’t one for sentiments, but when he holds the coin to the sky with one eye closed, he thinks he can see your face in its glare.

he’s a dark figure at the end of the street, a shadow whose only sign of life is the quiet rustle of his tatter jacket, and the ominous whistle from his lips. it’s some tune itching at the back of his mind, one he can’t recall the words for nor the exact melody, but its nice. he’s sure you’ve sung it once or twice.

the thought has him stopping in the middle of the sidewalk beneath a flickering white lamp, swarmed with moths. he doesn’t want to look, but his neck creaks anyway.

it’s the apartment complex you live in, four stories high, lit windows peppered across its face. yours, which sits at the very top, is dark. his heart withers with the flames—you didn’t wait for him, but you have no reason to, he thinks. it’s not like you clean his wounds, or feed him at 3 a.m. when he’s hungry, or let him sleep in your bed, or...

...and the front door is unlocked, much to his surprise and relief. it opens and closes without a sound, shutting him away from the outside world, holding him in the safety of your walls.

dabi makes an effort to leave his shoes by the door since you always complain about the ashes on the floor. quietly, he walks to your bedroom, door ajar. the yellow nightlight casts a warm glow from the corner of the room, illuminating your silhouette from behind. he settles himself in the crater in your mattress, molded for him.

“oh, baby,” he sighs, running a knuckle down your cheek. you don’t budge.

dabi can’t help but lie down beside you, tossing his arm over your waist. fuck, he’s missed you, and his heart shows signs of it. he’s gotten soft—he can’t hide it any longer, not when they already know.

it’s not supposed to be like this. he’s not meant to tiptoe around your place in the middle of the night, unable to utter a single word. he wants to stay until the morning, caught in your sheets, your smile the first thing he wakes up to.

but he can’t.

he dreams of a life where is isn’t like this, where things weren’t the way they were and he could live normally. there’d be nothing to worry about except groceries and work and how to decorate the apartment. he imagines it’s the life his little brother (as much as he hates that word, it’s true) will lead when he’s older, the one dabi can’t and won’t have.

his eyes burn under the pressure of the lump in his throat. he buries his face deeper into your extra pillow, saved for him, then closes his eyes.

this is what paradise feels like. no jobs, not heroes on his back, no darkness ahead of him, just you, you, you.

it’s a short-lived bliss that ends the moment his phone vibrates in his pocket, calling him back home (the one without you). he doesn’t bother to check the caller id and lets it ring until it goes silent. he’ll deal with whoever is on the other side later.

for now, he’ll live a little longer.

a/n: can’t believe i became a dabi simp in the span of a day,,, what a beautiful man

#dabi #dabi x reader #dabi x you #toya todoroki #todoroki toya #my hero academia #mha x reader #mha x you #mha fanfic #dabi fanfic #touya todoroki #todoroki touya

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fivekrystalpetals · 3 years ago

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I personally see Dabi as the worst of the lot but his family will still save him somehow. I find that way more interesting than him having a secret kind side.

I believe he always has had a kind side he doesn’t show out much because he feels there is no point. For me, Touya is a walking example of someone who could have turned out to be much much worse than what he is now. He has been burnt beyond recognition by (and (in)directly because of) his own hero dad yet he believed the society can be changed and rebuilt with the help of real heroes.

See how he encouraged Twice even if he had no reason to do so:

(Not sure if Toga’s kind words were heard by the real Twice, so this scene probably marks the last words of reassurance (that he didn’t do anything wrong) from his friend before he died)

And this:

Also, the scene with Toga: (this one personally didn’t make me as emotional as the high-five scene but it is canon so yeah)

Similarly, although he felt he was no longer needed in his old home, he did go out to play with his siblings as soon as they called him. I don’t know how to put it (and I don’t have many canon examples where he is openly showing his kind side) so yeah, it is more of a ‘read-between-lines’ kind of thing.

I do agree with his family saving him but not with Dabi being the worst of the lot. Touya has been trying his best from the day he learnt to walk got his quirk. In fact, he was only practicing what is expected from every hero aspirant kid—the story’s key motto: Go beyond yourself, right? He trained his quirk till he burnt himself (I can handle little burns) bc he was made to feel that if his quirk isn’t valuable to his dad, then he, as a person, isn’t valuable.

It’s Endeavor’s fault for ignoring his efforts and not doing the bare minimum every child needs from their parents. Touya only sought the least from him (his demands even went from look at me endeavor to a mere I can do as well as him if you give me a chance and his dad couldn’t do even that) the least if the parent(s) decide to bring a child into the world. Kids are not meant to be born for experimentation or for fulfilling some outrageous ambitions the parents couldn’t. Period.

#bnha #bnha 266 #bnha 341 #dabi #todoroki touya #may-answers #my-bnha-posts #manga spoilers #todofam #endeavor critical

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hamliet · 4 years ago

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Dabi’s Missing Heart

So I’ve been seeing two main responses to Dabi’s character as portrayed in BNHA 292, both of which I feel touch on a very surface understanding of his character and role in the story despite seeming like opposite takes.

Take #1:

Dabi is an unfeeling monster created to show the redeemability of Shigaraki and Enji in contrast with his true eeeevil villainy! He will never be redeemed!

Take #2:

Dabi is a sweet softy who did nothing wrong! He will never be redeemed because of this chapter which is so out-of-character!

Note how they both have the same endpoint. I’m not actually gonna address the redemption question much because I can’t fathom what this panel foreshadows if not Touya’s salvation (alive):

I’m not looking to debate this either; I’m just putting it here because I know it’ll come up if I don’t.

Instead, I wanna address Dabi’s character. He’s my favorite, and I’ve been asked a few different times whether I enjoy him as a villain or as an uwu poor baby, and my answer is always both.

Dabi is a villain. This chapter’s rampage is, in my opinion, not remotely out of character for him. But neither is it the summation of his character, and he surely is not meant to make Enji look good by comparison.

So, who is Dabi?

Dabi is kind of a flaming jerk, and that’s why I like him. He’s an abuse victim who gets to be angry and crass and sharp. He pushes people away because he doesn’t want to open up to them and get burned (heh). He’s just like Shouto in that, except with a dose of murder.

Believe it or not, this is a very realistic response to abuse, and very common too. It’s good to see that representation. If the writing was indeed just “he’s bad get rid of him,” well, that would of course be a terrible representation. But seeing a mean victim get redeemed? Now that’s some good sh*t I’m here for.

If you want a sweethearted, misunderstood soft victim, there is one in MHA, and that’s Shigaraki. Dabi is not these things, but that does not mean he’s not a victim or that he’s somehow an unfeeling monster.

You see, Shigaraki is a heart character. Dabi’s the mind. (Heart and mind characters are a literary pattern that is utilized in literature across the globe; it’s not an eastern/western cultural thing. It has its roots in alchemy.) The problem is that you can’t have a heart without a mind nor a mind without a heart. If you lack one, you’re missing half the picture, and you won’t accomplish anything.

We see this with Shigaraki in his quest to look for ideals, something to believe in, purpose to justify/enable acting on his feelings/emotions.

Dabi, in contrast, has conviction and ideals, but eschews any kind of personal connection and care.

So, both Shigaraki and Dabi struggle to unite heart and mind--but they need to do precisely this.

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki expressly envisions both Dabi and Himiko when musing on what his purpose is.

Yet Shigaraki is able to unite more easily with Himiko as opposed to Dabi because Himiko is also a heart character. She claims to be motivated by extreme empathy that warps around to become a lack thereof (wanting to be who she loves).

Shigaraki’s motivations are basically revenge for hero society not saving him--which encompasses both a deep internal and external (societal) need for empathy and a need for better ideals. Shigaraki needs Himiko and Dabi. They’re a trio, and all of them need each other to grow. But Himiko, being similarly driven expressly by emotions, is easier for Shigaraki to understand and work with.

The irony is that Dabi is actually a very, very emotional character as well. But what he does (as is typical for a mind character) is repress them, compartmentalize, dissociate. He constantly pushes people away, yet admits privately, to himself, that he’s primarily (and paradoxically) motivated by family. This is emotional, yet Dabi claims he “overthought” and, according to other translations, “snapped” can be actually be read as “went crazy” as a result over overthinking (note: both are mind allusions).

Dabi repressing who he is--Todoroki Touya--is symbolic of him repressing his emotional side, because again, family and emotions are tied together for his character. Now his identity is acknowledged, and Dabi claims to be losing his mind (again), claims that he can’t feel, and yet is completely consumed by emotions. Like, does anyone think he’s being methodical and calculating this chapter?

It’s not just negative emotions (rage, hate) that drive Dabi in response to his family. His seeking belonging and emotional connection is present even in a chapter where he tries to murder two members of his family and laughs off the risk to the life of another.

See, Dabi first asked Shouto to validate his pain:

But like, given the circumstances, of course Shouto doesn’t really respond well. How Shouto responds is this:

Shouto’s words are triggering. And keep in mind I am not blaming Shouto: he’s in shock and he’s a kid. I’m merely trying to explain how it likely comes across to Dabi.

You’re crazy. Your feelings don’t matter. You don’t really care about Natsuo! You’re a villain and that’s ALL you are. Not a brother or abuse survivor. Just a villain.

So, uh, yeah, Dabi then retreats back to being unable to feel, dissociating as has always been his coping mechanism. But that’s not all: Dabi’s been repressing for so long that of course he’s gonna go a little insane in response to the dismissal of everything he’s trying to point out. Why wouldn’t he? His family dismissed his pain back then and now again, and so, without that heart, without those emotions, principle is all Dabi has. This has been present since long before Stain’s ideology came into his life:

Now, he answers this question of existence through Stain’s ideology. Purpose is all he has, and to him, Shouto and Best Jeanist are dismissing that too. Why are they dismissing it? Best Jeanist dismisses him for an ideal: the overall good of hero society. Shouto has a mixture of this ideal and also like, genuine shock and pain.

Back to Dabi. Dabi’s summation of himself and his purpose is incorrect and harmful to himself and others. I’m not excusing him or justifying, just explaining. It’s a tragic reflection of what Endeavor raised both Touya and Shouto to be (and thereby ironic that BJ uses an ideal to dismiss him):

Instead of being raised to be the symbol of hero society--as Endeavor intended--he exists to destroy it. The root is the same: Dabi assumes he exists for hero society, as a tool. He dehumanizes himself, hence why his quirk physically harms him (which also fits his almost religious zeal for Stain’s ideology). But it is not all Dabi is. He’s not a tool, he’s a person, but to acknowledge he’s a person involves acknowledging his heart/emotional desires, and that gets to my next point.

Dabi’s not a reliable narrator about himself. At all. I’ve written about Dabi and dissociation before. So let’s look at Dabi’s devotion to his ideals, the ideals he puts above people and claims he only cares about... because there are moments where Dabi goes against those ideals.

For one example, Dabi’s gone against those ideals when he’s allowed his personal need for revenge (an emotional/heart motivation) to overcome his longterm plan. Like, he was fully about to get himself killed here, even though that would likely mean no one would know the corruption of the Todoroki family and hero society, just for the chance to prove to his father that he hurt him.

In addition, I’ve talked before about how Dabi’s the only character in the entire damn manga to comment that maybe using child soldiers is not okay. While it’s not explicitly stated, it’s reasonable to conclude that Dabi considers the abuse of children in hero training a sin of hero society that ought to be purged (hence, part of his ideals).

That said, I have also pointed out that Dabi has gone after children in the past when it benefits his mission (Bakugou would like a word). So let’s look at four examples of Dabi and his principles concerning kids--since, after all, he claims to be motivated by heroes who hurt kids.

Firstly, Dabi’s “save the cat” when he spared Aoyama.

Why did he spare Aoyama? We can only speculate, but it seems quite likely there are two reasons: 1) hurting Aoyama would not add anything to his overall goal of downing hero society, and 2) a terrified, cowering kid might just have been a teeny bit familiar to Dabi. Here, his ideals--destroying hero society--either take a backseat to a reflection of his personal pain (and)/or his ideal of not abusing kids directly contradicted his ideal of bringing down hero society. But the important part is that in this instance, Dabi chose mercy and the goal of bringing down hero society was jeopardized as a result.

So then why did he attack Tokoyami, Nejire, and Shouto this arc? Well, Dabi does things he knows are wrong for the sake of accomplishing his overall purpose. He does things he knows hurt himself for this purpose. This isn’t new. If he can’t be acknowledged, can’t exist as a person with emotions, then he at least will ensure he still has a purpose.

In addition, let’s look at what sets Dabi off in all of these instances. (Again, this isn’t me saying “well actually Dabi’s justified.” He’s not. I’m just pointing to what’s in the text to explain the machinations beyond “bad guy do bad.”)

Dabi tries to reason with Tokoyami, pointing out that Twice was doing essentially what Tokoyami is doing: trying to save his friend(s), but Tokoyami doesn’t listen (also again: not me saying Tokoyami should have listened--realistically, in this situation, it makes sense Tokoyami trusted his mentor!)

Only after his reasoning was rejected did Dabi go to flames mode. He could have just let Tokoyami save Hawks, but instead he really wanted to kill Hawks and that overrode his other principles. Was this just because of his furthering his goal--killing the #2 hero would help destroy hero society--or because of a sense of personal revenge for Twice? That’s open for interpretation (in my opinion, it’s likely a mixture, because again, it tends to intertwine more than Dabi likes to think it does). His principles and/or emotions are brushed aside, and Dabi Does Not Like That.

Dabi does this again with Shouto this chapter, asking him where he stands on their family issues, and gets brushed aside, and then Shouto goes into his rage mode and Dabi responds. Again, not saying Shouto is rational here or that he should side with Dabi’s murderous plan, but like, his words really don’t come across well to Dabi.

Dabi going after Shouto after explaining things, asking Shouto for help, and then having his pain dismissed is pretty much a repeat of Tokoyami. When Dabi’s pain is dismissed, he says fine, let’s aim for the highest principle possible: making Stain’s will a reality, and damn any emotional ties.

Dabi’s obsession with ideals, you might say, is a smokescreen to cover his own pain. Far from feeling nothing, he feels very deeply. (I promise I’m getting to Nejire.)

So what does this indicate? Well, that Dabi does have a heart and a conscience. But when he lets his heart act, when his heart reaches out, he gets burned. His heart jeopardizes his overall purpose, so he most often dissociates himself from it. But by pretending he doesn’t have a heart, he dehumanizes himself, and he projects that dehumanization onto others (see: seeing Shouto as an extension of Endeavor, when that’s actually the precise image Shouto is trying to shed).

It’s not a coincidence that Shigaraki has been unconscious during the entire confrontation with Endeavor, nor is it a coincidence that Himiko has been MIA. But, Shigaraki wakes up a bit this chapter not only when hearing Dabi spout about how hero society needs to burn, an ideal/the thing Shigaraki lacks, and through a less important but still-ideal-driven character in Spinner asking him to accomplish his supposed ideal of destruction, but when Dabi saves Shigaraki and Spinner.

Dabi doesn’t burn Nejire for lols (not that this makes it better because it doesn’t) or even for ideals. He burns her to save Shigaraki and Spinner, because they are his links to full humanity right now.

(Again, this is also dissociation and projection: Endeavor did this! No, Dabi, you did. You’re perpetuating violence against kids rather than stopping it.)

But anyways, when Dabi calls upon heart, Shigaraki wakes. He lends Gigantomachia and thereby Dabi and the league power.

Dabi can only grow and actually accomplish anything related to his ideals (fixing hero society) through accepting a heart--even though that will likely mean some painful surgery to shift his ideals to accommodate said heart, because pure ideals don’t leave much room for humanity. He needs to feel to actually change anything, because right now he’s just making things worse (hence, the need for saving and redemption).

I know the League aren’t the protagonists of the serIes, but their complaints aren’t exactly incorrect either (if anything they’re almost a little too valid). But through growing together, Dabi, Shigaraki, and Himiko might actually be able to accomplish something, and get themselves in a place where they can be reached and saved by Shouto, Deku, and Ochaco. Because to be saved, the kids will have to acknowledge the villains’ pain and complaints, and do something about it.

#bnha 292 #bnha meta #mha 292 #mha meta #dabi #todoroki shouto #todoroki touya #todoroki enji #hado nejire #toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #best jeanist #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha theory #mha theory #league of villains #spinner

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stillness-in-green · 3 years ago

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Idk if my other ask went through but it was What do you think of the AFO saved Touya and nudged him to the path of villainy theory? Or something like that I forgot what I said exactly. I don’t think it’d be as explicit as Tomura more like AFO saved Touya and he, or Garaki more likely, somehow let Touya see what Endeavor was saying and doing at home with Shouto. And Touya is like F that and stays away all depressed until he was inspired by Stain. Giran the memory guy probably had something to do with him too.

(Sliding this in the day before Leaks Day, so laying out the clown costume in advance.)

Thanks for the question, anon! Though as a note for context on my perspective in the rest of this post, I admit that I’m unsure what you mean about AFO and Ujiko showing Touya what Endeavor was saying and doing with Shouto at home. After all, the canon suggests that mostly what Endeavor was doing in the immediate wake of Touya’s disappearance was…looking for Touya. Usually when I see people suggest this theory, it’s based on the idea that AFO and Ujiko somehow misled Touya into thinking that his family didn’t care that he’d gone out and self-immolated, not that they showed him some horrible truth. I rather doubt there’s much they could truthfully reveal to him about Shouto’s situation that a) he doesn’t already know and b) would change his mind about any of the extremely negative conclusions he’s already come to.

So that angle, the idea that AFOUji somehow manipulated Touya towards villainy, is what I wrote the bulk of this response in regards to.

Spoilers: I don’t much care for it.

Hit the jump for the rest!

I certainly recognize why it exists: Dabi’s missing ten years raises eyebrows because he had to have been hideously wounded, and we know Endeavor kept looking for him for some while after the fire, and he was all of thirteen years old, yet even with all of those factors in play, he was somehow never found, and just vanished for a full decade. It’s a puzzle whose answers require resources, medical care, and, some people believe, a desire to twist Touya towards hatred.

Personally, I don’t really think the child we saw in the flashbacks needed much help to get to where we find Dabi psychologically. The resentment, the violent tendencies, the misanthropy; it’s all there.(1) And Toga was only two years older when she went on the run—less than two, even, since Sekoto Peak happening in the winter would have meant Touya was right on the cusp of his fourteenth birthday.

There’s really no getting around the need for medical care, though, and the number of people we already know who have both the skill to save Touya and the willingness to keep his identity a secret is pretty much one.

That said, seeing as my primary interest in the manga is the way in which it depicts Hero Society as a flawed institution that creates its own monsters, I would really prefer Ujiko and/or AFO to not be involved at all, or at least for their involvement to be as minimal as possible. Shigaraki is one thing, but the people he has attracted to his cause (such as it is) are quite another, and every speck of the blame that you allow to fall on All For One is another handwaved excuse for Hero Society to refuse to examine itself and change its ways.

And okay, All For One isn’t terrible as a metaphor for the dark forces that prey on vulnerable people when law-abiding, “normal” society fails them, but the trouble is where the story's focuses lie, and what it presents as the proper way to resolve its ultimate battle. There is an inestimable difference between a final battle against Shigaraki that revolves around saving him while also confronting his truths and a final battle against AFO that revolves around saving his voiceless and subsumed victims from him before defeating him once and for all. Saving Shigaraki in a battle against Shigaraki means acknowledging that he is his own person, with his own motivations and his own crimes, and that he deserves to be saved anyway—that he always deserved to be saved, because everyone deserves to be saved. Conversely, saving Shigaraki in a battle against AFO prioritizes saving people from villains without ever acknowledging how society wronged them for them to wind up in a villain’s hands to begin with.(2)

To bring this back to Touya, if AFO is in some fashion responsible for making him, it reduces the weight of Endeavor’s sins and those of Dabi himself. It puts the blame on some outside force and lets people get away with saying, “If it weren’t for him, poor innocent Touya would never have become the villain Dabi!”

But that’s dodging a much harder and crueler truth. The actual message of making AFO responsible for Dabi while simultaneously focusing the endgame solely on defeating him is, “If it weren’t for him, poor innocent Touya would never have become the villain Dabi—because he would have died on Sekoto Peak.”(3)

In both scenarios, Dabi was empowered by someone, and he’s sympathetic either way. However, the scenario in which he finds his voice because Stain/Shigaraki stood up to draw society’s malcontents out of the shadows allows Dabi to be sympathetic while preserving his agency and the accusations he levels at Hero Society. It asks the heroes and the readers alike to consider the question, “How did this innocent child become so warped as to become such a dangerous villain?”

The scenario in which Ujiko and All For One set him on the path to villainy, meanwhile, maintains the sympathy but throws the rest in the garbage to instead say, “This innocent child became so warped because these villains did it to him.” It conspicuously avoids forcing the heroes and readers to confront the question, “And what would have happened if they hadn’t?”

Shigaraki just gave Touya a platform; what he said once he got up there was all him. But in the scenario you’re asking about, All For One didn’t give Touya the platform; he handed him the speech. And if Hori tells the audience that Touya’s words are All For One’s words after spending two hundred and ninety chapters telling us that All For One’s words are nothing but manipulative lies meant to lead people astray, it strips those words of all but the barest veneer of their power.

I pretty much laid all this out here two years ago, and, barring us having more information on Mr. Compress now than we did then, and me having adopted a more nuanced view of what quirks are valued in HeroAca!Japan’s heroes,(4) I still stand by that post. AFO shaping Shigaraki is one thing, but the more he’s involved with the backstories of everyone else, the more it undercuts the legitimacy of the villains’ grievances. I see no reason for Dabi to be the exception.

All my ranting about the narrative themes of the series on the whole aside, Giran’s quirk only affects five minutes on either side of him making physical contact with the victim. Not to say you couldn’t do some damage that way, certainly, but it would hardly have let All For One reshape Touya’s entire mental landscape according to his nefarious whims. At most, if AFOUji kept the contact short and had Giran on hand to begin with, they could make sure Touya couldn’t remember their faces clearly—but then where’s the guarantee that anything they revealed/manipulated him to believe would stick, either? Again, he could have been involved, and one might even say, “Why tell us his quirk if it’s never going to be relevant?” but all the scenarios I can imagine off the top of my head seem awfully convoluted.

Sorry if any of this came off as too negative! It’s tied into a lot of the places where I am most Ornery and Opinionated about this series and how it handles its villains. But thanks again for the ask!

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1: Which is not to say that I think Touya was born twisted or anything; that’s 100% on Endeavor’s head.

2: Much like All Might being completely ready to beat Shigaraki into a paste right up until the instant he finds out Shigaraki’s real name. Or Deku seeing inner-Shigaraki as the crying boy clutching his dog instead of the furious boy covered in his father’s blood. Or Deku blaming All For One for Lady’s Nagant’s fate while disregarding the fact that it was the HPSC who set her on that path to begin with. Or lots of things, many of them about Deku, that have me very worried about where this story is heading.

3: An outcome people like Gran Torino clearly and explicitly would have preferred.

4: I used the phrase “flashy and offensive” because it’s pithy and I was seeing it around everywhere, but these days I tend towards thinking it’s overly reductive. Crust alone disproves that you need a flashy or offensive power to be a top hero.

#bnha #todotalk #bnha endgame #if afo isn't personally responsible for homelessness #bias against 'villain' quirks #heteromorphobia #and whatever sako has going on #then I see no reason he should be personally responsible for endeavor's monster either #it's about consistency #and not undercutting dabi's argument because people need him to be more of a woobie victim #stillness answers #salt in the tags

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pleathewrites · 8 months ago

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bellow the fire into my deadened lungs

chapter 5 excerpt — class 1a resigns + ua traitor reveal read full story here

Out of the Top 100 Heroes in Japan, over half of them resigned in solidarity.

The ones who don’t will be remembered as the ones who failed the oath they had taken when accepting their role in a society that is ready to move on from needing them. The large handful of those Dabi had laid out crimes against in his video reveal and interrogation will sit in their jail cells awaiting their court hearings with the only thoughts of, ‘where did I go wrong?’

To everyone’s surprise, it is Bakugou Katsuki who walks up to take the microphone from the last resigning Pro-Hero.

He scans millions of eyes and takes the plunge.

“Most of you who know me probably only have shit things to say about me,” He starts, and the image of his homeroom teacher pinching the bridge of his nose brings out a snort that reverberates a bit too loudly through the various speakers connected to the microphone, “And to be honest, there’s probably a whole lotta truth in there.”

Katsuki tunes out the questioning murmurs of the crowd and only looks for the one person he’d never answered.

“A really good guy asked me recently if I still wanted to be a hero after a lecture Aizawa-sensei had given about the shitty truth of how criminals are created.”

Eijirou’s wide eyes and ungelled hair give Katsuki the strength he’s been lacking for so long.

“I used to idolize All Might — Yagi-san — because he was the best. I used to believe that being the best meant I had to do everything possible to get that place. I used to believe that being the best meant I could behave in any way I wanted — that I earned it, and thus, I deserved it. The guy we’re all here for saw that.”

Katsuki remembers wanting to murder Dabi at one point, for all the ugly truths patchwork lips had spit at him.

“The memories I have of Dabi — Todoroki Touya — they’re all over the place, honestly,” Katsuki looks at the grieving mother of the man who’d kidnapped him, haunted him for months, and then forgave him. He wonders who he would have been with a mother like that — wonders what kind of man Touya could have become under a woman with so much love held in her eyes, the kind of love Katsuki had craved the minute he was born.

“I think your son might have saved my life, Himura-san,” He tells her honestly, and bows.

When he rises, his eyes catch a poster that stops his heart. Kemuri Hashiga and Nagai Tesaki hold a large smiling picture of Tsubasa flying — dragon wings that contrast brightly against the springtime sky hold his round little body over their middle school playground. Kemuri’s sharp grin rivals Eijirou’s proudest one and Nagai’s eyes shine with a fierce glint Katsuki hasn’t seen on the boy in such a long time.

He nods to them and holds Tsubasa in his heart when he turns back to the warmth of Eijirou’s gaze, “I have my answer for you now. I don’t wanna be a hero, because I don’t like what the idea of it brought out of me. But I wanna do good, and I’m gonna be the best at it,” He grins at the pair of toothy laughter he can only faintly hear from how far he stands from it, “I resign from bein’ a hero, or whatever. But, that doesn’t mean you won’t see me around. Y’here that! To all the villains who came out today,” He raises his hand to point to the crowd and sees Eijirou start to run towards him, “I’m gonna take care of y’all till you bleed!”

“Okay!” Eijirou grabs the microphone out of Katsuki’s hands, eyes wide and frantic before he sends a sheepish grin to the slightly frightened crowd, “He means that in a totally, non-violent, metaphoric–metaphorical? way,” and sends a stern look to Katsuki that says, ‘we’ve talked about this, man,’ but the smile can’t seem to be swiped off his face.

The crowd seems to get it, though, because there’s laughter in the air for the first time. Even their homeroom teacher seems to be suspiciously hiding a fond smile behind his signature scarf.

“Um,” Eijirou starts, his insecurities bubbling up inside his chest as he takes in the waiting eyes of the crowd. He can’t believe the myriad of unique faces he’s seen today — quirks of all kinds, people of all kinds. The gratitude he feels in being able to witness the bravery of such people takes the heat off the moment, simmers the voice in his head that tries to convince him he’s not good enough, and stops it from boiling over.

The scent of caramel tickles his nose before Katsuki’s warm hand settles over his shoulder. When Eijirou turns his head to see Katsuki’s encouraging smile, he holds his hand out and waits for nitrogen palms to wrap around his own.

“Bakugou doesn’t talk very nicely about himself,” He tells the crowd, “but he always makes sure I do. He’s the manliest dude I know — he’s kind, and determined, and he’s definitely the reason half our class is passing,” The crowd laughs and Katsuki squeezes his hand in appreciation, “I trust him with my life, and you can trust him to care about yours.”

“Tell us about yours!” Someone deep in the crowd shouts.

He didn’t expect to be put on the spot like this, he really just wanted to save Katsuki from being misunderstood. However, he cannot deny how fast his heart beats at his friend’s — ‘maybe more, one day.’ — bravery. Katsuki is always so damn inspiring.

“Oh, um, well,” Eijirou laughs nervously, “I, uh… Heh. Well, I used to believe that because I didn’t have a flashy quirk, I wasn’t worthy of having a place in this society. But when my friend saved me from an attack, she inspired me.”

Mina sends him a proud smile from where she’s pushed through the crowd to stand before him. The whole class of 1A has come close to the front.

Eijirou straightens his spine, “I started to research heroes and found out about Crimson Riot, who had a similar quirk to mine. He quickly became my idol. Through my hero identity, I’ve tried to pay tribute to him. I reinvented myself — started dying my hair and even chose a hero name close to his. I am extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to attend UA and meet some really manly people along the way.”

There are some confused, high-pitched responses of, ‘manly?’

“Tch,” Katsuki leans in to speak into the microphone, “It’s a gender-neutral term of all things good for the idiot,” but his fond smile doesn’t cause any further confusion for the crowd.

“Yeah,” Eijirou giggles, “But, yeah, anyways… I think surrounding myself with so many amazing heroes made me blind to everyone else. Somewhere along the way, I think I convinced myself that being a good hero was equal to being a good person — a good man.

“Crimson Riot said that chivalry is all about living with no regrets. And I don’t want to regret this moment, and so, I don’t think I’ll regret my decision to resign from my dream of being a hero — figuring out who Kirishima Eijirou is, outside of Red Riot. And even though he’s gone, I think Crimson would’ve called this day the manliest moment in history.”

The applause brings a — ‘very manly!’ — tear to Eijrou’s eyes.

One by one, the entire class of 1A resigns their status as hero students with the promise to strive towards social reform.

Yaoyorozu Momo — “I actually wanted to be an engineer when my quirk manifested, but my parents always viewed hero-work to be more rewarding. However, I’m thankful I attended UA because I wouldn’t have met all the wonderful people who put their trust in me to lead them. But I cannot lie — being a female hero under the male-gaze… I hate it. I guess I just never felt like I had the ‘right’ to. I used to be a tom-boy, would you believe that?”

Ojiro Mashirao — “It kinda sucks, bein’ a heteromorph. People always tryin’ to touch my tail and askin’ me what I can do with it. Makes a guy wanna prove somethin’, y’know? So, I guess… When I saw the kinda life heteromorphic heroes led, the respect on their name, I got envious. I still wanna work in rescue, though — natural disasters, I’m hopin’ after today.”

Jirou Kyouka — “Ever since I was a kid, I saw how my family was often ridiculed for pursuing music. We struggled a lot, but they… They would sing me to sleep and, uhm, teach me whatever instrument I wanted to know. I used to hide it, thought it had nothing to do with heroism and so it wasn’t important, but my classmates — Bakugou mostly, if you’d believe it — encouraged me. There’s a lot of power in music. Therapeutic. I think I wanna share that the most with the world.”

Kouda Kouji — “Hi… Is there a deaf-and-mute translator? Ah, thank you! ‘Animals are my favorite creatures to speak with — birds and foxes especially! They have so much to say, I think it’s because they see so much of our lives. Humans, though… They used to run away from me. I think it’s because of how I look. I don’t understand how, in a quirk-society like this, we still have so many biases based on looks alone. I hate violence, and so far, heroism has felt like nothing but. I think… from now on though — witnessing this turn-out — I’d like to start working with humans again. Talking like this, peaceful and honest. I want to live in a world that works with nature instead of domineering over it.’”

Ashido Mina — “I used to think being a hero was all about hiding your anxieties — show no fear and slap on a smile for the cameras, for the kids, for everyone else just as scared as you. I think… When you’re so used to masking your own fears, you forget everyone else’s. I used to believe villains weren’t capable of fear, but now… I think I’m starting to get it — that it’s their ignored fear that creates them, pushes them to that point of villainy. I honestly need to think about what I’m gonna do from now on, but I have a feeling a lot of opportunities are gonna pop up in the next few years, and I don’t see myself picking just one. And to quote Blasty, I’m gonna kick ass doin’ it!”

Kaminari Denki — “Sensei gave us some homework a few days ago to write a reflection about the ways we can work towards villain prevention and, like, rehabilitation. I, uh, heh, think mine might’ve been the shortest paper. Every time I use my quirk into overload, a bit of my brain kinda fwoomps away and… makes things harder and harder to read and concentrate on. I used to think it was worth it, y’know, like — ‘who needs a workin’ brain when you’re riskin’ your life to save people?’ But, uh… obviously, it scares me now to think that was a standard I put on myself.”

Uraraka Ochako — “Admittedly, I wanted to make a lot’a money — guess that’s normal for people who don’t grow up havin’ any. Makin’ money isn’t really gonna help other kids who have none, though. I never thought a girl like me would learn to fight the way I can now, and it kills me to think about all the girls and women who cannot fight for themselves, who work like hell to survive cycles of abuse ‘n poverty… And! That’s where I wanna put my efforts!”

Satou Rikidou — “I’m a baker’s boy at heart. My classmates actually, heh, set ‘round a time each week for me to bake ‘em somethin’ new — call it ‘Sugar Time’. Funny ‘cause I actually need sugar to survive — a lot of it. Parents learned how to bake early on because the store-bought sweets’re too expensive. In class, Aizawa-sensei brought up how the things we need to live ain’t free, ‘n it made me think about what kinda life I would’a had if I didn’t have parents who were able t’bake for me, or didn’t have parents at all… Mama, Baba, I’m real thankful for everythin’ you’ve done for me t’get me here, but I just can’t stop thinkin’ about those kids…”

Asui Tsuyu — “I’m going to miss it, the hero-life. But, honestly, I think that’s for the better. I want a safer world for my siblings. When we were really young — Satsuki-chan, I don’t even know if you remember this, but… A burglar came into our home. I remember I hid you and Samidare-chan under my bed and left to call the police, who called a Hero. And that hero… bulldozed into our house, right through the wall of my bedroom, and all I could think about was that you two — your tiny little bodies — were right there, and by the luck of the universe, my quirk manifested, and when I cried out, my tongue became the hand the hero had no intention of reaching out, and I was able to pull you both out just a second before the ceiling caved in and smashed my bed to pieces. The hero caught the burglar, but I left that night thinking things like, ‘Was all that really necessary?’ and ‘What would have happened if I was quirkless?’”

Aoyama Yuuga — “I was born quirkless, and let me tell you — the French do not take kindly to those who are. I talk like them and I look like them — well, that’s a lie, I am much more gorgeous! But alas, we live in a world where our quirks are as good as currency. I’m still getting the hang of how fast word travels in Japan, but my peers at UA know my parents asked All for One to grant me the quirk I have today, and when my parents refused to let me carry their debt to him, he killed them. I am a hero solely out of revenge, and that’s not very heroic. My Papa used to tell me that I was meant to sparkle, and I can’t do that covered in red.”

Tokoyami Fumikage — “People are not born bad, only make bad decisions. But each bad decision is not held to the same weight for each and every individual — and for our society today, that is bad. I’m quite fond of darkness and prone to all things of the night, but I was lucky enough to be raised by a family that guided me with light. That said, I am… honestly looking forward to getting to know the villains who’ve come out today. There aren’t too many heroes with the Devil in them, and Dark Shadow is practically itching to bond with people more like me — I think he’s getting tired of fighting all the time.”

Hagakure Touru — “My whole life, I’ve not only been invisible but felt so. I think the only times I’ve been given any sort of attention is being the butt of a joke — I’ve heard way too many one-liners over the fact that I have to fight naked, and it doesn’t matter how cleverly you think you twisted it, it’s still not funny to me. However… UA helped me shine, literally. I think it’s really important for kids to feel that — without having to spend a boatload of money or kill your childhood for a scholarship that essentially turns you into a child soldier.”

Shouji Mezou — “I learned to cover my face at a young age because I scare people. It’s not right to say, but whenever I used to see villains, like Dabi-san, show off their unconventional appearances so freely, with so much pride… It somehow equated in my mind that I need to cover up, to show society that I’m not like them — I’m not something to be feared because I display shame in the way I look. Preconceived notions, stereotypes, we all fall prey to them. Late at night, though, I’d think to myself that maybe villains just want to be seen. And now, seeing everyone who’s attended — your wonderful, unique, and brave faces — I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable labeling anyone as a villain ever again. I don’t want to wear this mask anymore, and I don’t want anyone else to ever feel like they have to as well.”

Ida Tenya — “In one of the readings Aizawa-sensei assigned to us, an activist said: ‘Police and heroes are doing what nobody should be doing — enforcing laws that criminalize poverty and addiction, arresting people instead of issuing citations, writing tickets to raise revenue rather than protect the public, and using armored vehicles to evict women and children from a home they have occupied to protest homelessness.’ And I agree! We cannot continue on like this, and I thank all the heroes today who have resigned from participating in this kind of system. You have given me the strength to do so as well!”

Midorya Izuku has the hardest time of it, cries and sniffles through the whole thing, but ends with a wobbly tenacious smile and a promise of “Plus Ultra!” that makes Yagi gather the young boy — and equally tearful mother — into his frail arms.

Only Sero Hanta is left to say his piece.

He feels like he wants to vomit and he knows the crowd can tell, “Someone I care about very much pointed out that I never talk about m’personal life. And, well, that’s because it doesn’t make for a very good story. But that person’s life story has been the highlight of every news station in Japan for the last week, so I figured I might give it a shot.”

Shouto’s reddened eyes widen and practically beg Hanta to shut up, but Hanta remembers the boy making a comment not too long ago about how Hanta doesn’t really know when to do that.

“Five years ago, my home was destroyed by what the police had called, ‘a villain attack’. My parents were killed by the rubble caused by a hero chasin’ after a kid a lil’ older than I am now with a scary quirk for stealin’ a woman’s purse. After that, I was sent to a foster home that looked more like a crackhouse,” Gasps and horrified murmurs ripple across the crowd, “Don’t worry too much ‘bout that though, I wasn’t there fer’long. Sold off for my foster parents' next fix. Managed to get away though.”

The League push their way into the front of the crowd, which fortunately opens right up out of fear, or common decency, Hanta doesn’t really know yet.

It’s actually kind of funny how Tomura looks at Hanta with his hands out and his eyes wide, like, ‘what the fuck’re you doin’?’

Hanta barrels on though, “I was around ten years old when Dabi had found me, half-dead’a hypothermia ‘n starvation. He took me in, and man, was he a mother hen. Makes so much sense now that he grew up an older brother,” He laughs wetly, and from his peripheral vision, it looks like Touya’s mother does the same.

“At this point, I was used t’people kickin’ me outta restaurants ‘n stealin’ my clothes when I wasn’t lookin’. But Dabi — sorry, Touya, my bad, I’ve been callin’ him ‘Dabi’ for so long now, but I wanna use the name his brother calls him. Touya would sneak me into whatever shelter he’d find willin’ to hold a stray. He’d get me all kinda books, most of ‘em interesting but some were complicated as hell.”

Hanta’s voice starts to betray him, threatening to cut off completely as the memories flood through.

“He’d tell me to read while he’s out workin’,” Tears finally start to fall and, for once, Hanta welcomes the burning trails down his cheeks, “He’d come back tired as hell, every day with new scars, ‘n even then, he’d make me somethin’ to eat, even if it meant he wouldn’t for days.

“He always offered to take me to a safehouse — a place for children like me. He’d say things like, ‘You should be playin’ ‘round with other kids yer age,’ and I’d just make fun’a’him for bein’ an old man. But the truth is, I didn’t wanna leave him. He was the only person who made me feel safe in a world that turned me away.”

His eyes roam over and connect with every present member of the League. Himiko is crying into Jin’s chest.

“And around a year ago, he let me come with him to join the League,” Hanta cannot bear to face the betrayal he knows paints every single face of his classmates, so he doesn’t, “I thought I wanted revenge, at first. But lookin’ back, I think I just wanted to help Touya’s dream of a better world come true. Pay ‘im back for everythin’ he’d done f’me. ‘N so, when the League asked me to be their spy, I agreed.

“But,” Hanta starts to shake, “When I got to UA — well, you’ve all seen it, everybody is so fuckin’ good. After my classmate was kidnapped, after I saw what it had done to him, I regretted my decision so much.”

Hanta can’t stop crying.

“Kirishima said he doesn’t wanna live a life with regrets, ‘n I know that’s only possible for me if-if I confess, because I know Touya refused t’give me up when he’d turned himself in, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

Hanta covers his shame with his arm and hopes his bulky elbows give him enough cover to break down.

“But I’ll never regret staying with Touya! Because without him, I-I never really would’ve believed society could actually change, until today.”

He doesn’t know when the League had actually run up to him. He only feels the cold metal of Mr. C’s prosthetic catching him before he falls to his knees, only registers the worn cashmere of Himiko’s sweater against his cheek, only hears the thud, whine, and scramble of Tomura picking up the fallen microphone and yelling out, “None’a you get to judge Hanta!”

And through the blubber of Hanta’s wailing sobs, Hanta hears the unimaginable.

“We don’t — ”

“ — Monsieur, were you not listening — ”

“ — ‘re doing the right thing now, we’d never — ”

“ — we’re still your friends Hanta! — ”

“ — I forgive you! — ”

“ — it’s ok, dude, I understand! — ”

“ — confession was totally manly! — ”

“ — et the fuck up, Tape Face, ‘n apologize to my face like a man! Geeze, you were only doin’ what you thought was right, or whatever — ”

In less than a minute, Hanta is engulfed by the arms of his classmates, their tearful smiles and too-empathetic eyes filling his vision and stunning his burning shame to a halt.

Cold and hot hands cup his face, Shouto’s puffy eyes staring at him wondrously.

“Why…?” Hanta doesn’t understand.

“Don’t you see how much we love you, Hanta? Don’t you trust us to see how much pain you’ve been in, and not punish you for it?”

Hanta’s chest aches with something that blooms to life instead of the anticipated shrivel of the death of one he’s grown to love.

He sighs, resting his forehead against Shouto’s, “I’m so sorry, Shou…”

Shouto’s headshake jostles Hanta slightly and he tearfully whispers, “I’m sorry, too. You’ve suffered the same loss I have, and have been going through it alone.”

The students of Class 1A quiet down when their homeroom teacher steps through and pulls Hanta up with an offering hand.

Hanta has always found his sensei so hard to read, “Wha-what’r’you gonna do t’me, Sensei?”

And his teacher only smiles and tips his head to his family — to the League that hadn’t left Hanta’s side under the swarm of — ex — hero students.

“Weren’t you paying attention? There are no punishments for what is said and done today.”

When the League, his teacher, and his classmates walk Hanta away from the area that holds the lone microphone, there is only the noise of respected cheers and applause at the sight of opposing sides holding the boy who’d played both — and it feels like a win.

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codenamesazanka · 3 years ago

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The Spinner fanboys. <3

This gives me hope that I’m correct to believe Spinner’s role in the story will only increase in relevance and importance. This wordless single panel of two background characters who we’ll likely never see again; this silly visual of people cosplaying Spinner who we know is a cosplayer himself, of Stain - and it is Spinner, what with the white vest and prominent polka dotted shirt and headband-goggles: a look that resembles more Spinner than Stain, recalling first thing to mind the former rather than the latter. This deliberate decision of a drawing that I hope foreshadows Spinner’s return and further plot line.

The League’s continuing to influence people, which is hardly a surprise; and Spinner apparently has his own particular effect on society, enough to serve as a icon to cosplay. For some reason, tho, it’s Spinner out of everyone else in the League who inspires admirers.

From what we’ve seen of the general public opinion, Dabi is annoying and AFO is greatly feared and Shigaraki Tomura is likely also a terror. Somewhat related, Toga was meant to serve as a pitiful tragic figure poster-child of the failures of quirk counseling and suppression. If we wanna differentiate between civilians and those who’ve decided to use their quirks for whatever reason, the rando vigilantes/villains we’ve seen so far in this arc haven’t dedicated their rampages to the League.

Spinner, though, has fans. I don’t think this is a coincidence or some thoughtless space filler; one drawn Spinner stan might have been, but we’ve got two examples; and moreover, his fans are Villains opposed to the Heroes that represent HeroAca society, and are visible, full-body heteromorphs, just like him.

It’s Spinner who introduces us to the canon fact of heteromorph discrimination, which immediately re-contextualizes all previous instances of people with mutant quirks being called or thought of as an animal and the experiences of the other heteromorph characters in the series; and out of all those heteromorph characters, it’s Spinner who the manga paid attention to, this societal problem being explicitly part of his backstory.

So the theme of heteromorph discrimination is intertwined with Spinner’s character and role in the story, making him the current central figure in this ‘abolish fantasy-bigotry-ism’ maybe storyline. That’s not to say other characters like Shoji and Tsuyu who’s implied to have dealt with this don’t get their time in the spotlight; but Spinner is most prominent and who the story directs our focus on. If and whenever the theme pops up, it probably will get Spinner involved one way or another, and this panel in this new chapter only backs this up.

Spinner has fans, and it could be that they look up to him as a heteromorph role model rebel. Spinner has fans that support him and his resentment of heteromorph discrimination that Hero Society never solved, especially in a meta sense. Spinner has fans which shows he’s right (about this at least), and it’s a problem Deku has to face and tackle and save people from and cede some compassion and empathy towards people pushed too far and lashes out at this injustice as Villains. Please.

At the very least, it suggests Horikoshi-sensei has Spinner in his thoughts somewhere, within reach to bring back into the story. Anyways I hope we get to see Spinner soon!!!

#Spinner #Iguchi Shuuichi #nalslastworkingbraincell #bnha #mha #shigaraki #Chapter 318 #Spinner Stan Society #long post #i meant to write a sentence or two but this spilled out sorry

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logicalbookthief · 3 years ago

Text

Things Left Unsaid -- An Analysis of Rei & Touya

Apparently Rei has been getting a lot of flack lately, all of it undeserved, and since I had a post analyzing her relationship with Touya in the works already, I figured no time like the present.

Disclaimer #1: There are a lot of issues with the writing for Rei’s character that have nothing to do with her and everything to do with how the storyline is using her, which I will address and examine.

Disclaimer #2: I’m someone who, while always curious as to what kind of relationship Rei had with her oldest son before he died, never thought it would be revealed that Touya was close to his mom. I don’t think you get the Dabi we see in Chapters 290-295 without him being so warped by his relationship with his father yet so dependent on his attention that he was willing to kill his brother and himself simply for his father’s acknowledgement.

But that’s what I find so interesting about Rei and Touya -- it’s a relationship that mainly consists of regrets and things left unsaid. There isn’t the anger or resentment Dabi feels for Endeavor, because that intense level of emotion sprung from the loss of the father who used to be his whole world. His feelings toward his mother seem more amicable, but also more distant.

And while she could’ve done some things differently in regards to her oldest, I want to make it clear that the distance between them was very much by design.

After all, Touya was the end goal of their marriage. It was never any secret as to why Enji wanted to marry her and to some extent Rei must’ve realized that this child was not meant to be hers: the child was the transaction, the thing she was needed to create, to give to her husband. Of course she loved Touya and was likely his primary caregiver for most of his life, but there was no doubt that once his quirk manifested and he could begin his hero training, his life would be dominated by his father. Which is what happened.

Here, I would like to point out something I noticed in the flashback chapters. We never see any panels of Enji alone with any of his children during their infancy -- even with Shouto, the perfect child he longed for, we see Rei holding Shouto, sitting by him as he sleeps. Enji is there tangentially. Once Shouto begins his training, that is when we see him with his father.

So to see Enji with Touya when he was a baby, prior to his quirk manifesting, strikes me as a big deal. But it makes sense if you remember that he’d placed all his hopes, dreams and expectations on his firstborn. Initially, it doesn’t look like he even considered the possibility that Touya wouldn’t be his successor or that his little eugenics experiment would fail; this was his first, most optimistic attempt at a masterpiece. So I don’t believe it’s far-fetched to see him spend more time with Touya right off the bat (it’s what will make the eventual abandonment all the more crushing).

However, Rei isn’t seen at all in the snippet of Touya’s infancy, despite us knowing she was relegated to the caregiver role. Rei is literally out of the picture. Compare this to how she features prominently in Shouto’s infancy or how we see her holding a baby Natsuo. You could argue that, hey, we don’t see her holding a baby Fuyumi either, but there’s other scenes where Fuyumi’s attached to her mother’s hip or crying over her being hurt. Things that suggest a closeness, when the only scene we get of just her and Touya is one where they’re at odds.

As we move further into Touya’s childhood, though, Rei becomes the only voice we hear advocate for him against his father. I’m referencing two specific instances:

When Enji coerces her into having more children to replace Touya now that his father has deemed him a failure, something she knows will hurt their son deeply.

And after Touya lashes out at Shouto, which Rei doesn’t blame on Touya, but rather on his father. She delivers such a satisfying condemnation of his actions, probably the most cutting one Endvr’s received to date, and it so accurately sums up one of his major character flaws.

How can you call yourself a hero when you can’t even face your own son?

The tragedy of it all is that Rei never said any of this in front of Touya -- it was always said in private, just to her husband. That alone took courage, yes, but it would’ve meant everything to Touya to hear her condemn his father aloud. Instead when she does speak to him, she says this:

It’s why I can’t wrap my head around that scene in Ch 302, where after Enji admits he didn’t know what to say to Touya, Rei replies, “Neither did I.”

When we’re shown in flashbacks during that same chapter that she did understand her son. “He just wants to be acknowledged by you” is quite the indication that she, at the very least, understood the cause of Touya’s turmoil even if she couldn’t fully relate to it herself. So why can’t she say any of this to him?

The answer is in the way she addresses Touya, as it is nearly identical to how Nao addresses Tenko in this scene:

Both Touya and Tenko grew up in similar households: the father had all the power, physical and financial, so the mothers were left to try and comfort their children in a way that didn’t go against their husbands’ desires -- and so, to use Tenko’s own words, they would “reject them with kindness.”

So it’s no wonder that Touya lashes out at his mother after she suggests he pursue other things. He isn’t five like Tenko was, he’s thirteen and has a much clearer understanding of why she says this and why it’s a bit hypocritical, since he’s aware of her situation, too.

Just as she was bound by her family, who wanted her to marry Endvr for the money and status, he’s bound by the expectations of his family. I’m not sure if I’ve seen anyone else touch on this detail, but when Touya states that he knows his grandparents sold his mom into marriage so his dad could have a child, we could infer that Touya knows enough to realize that his mother might not have necessarily wanted him.

Not him specifically, but any child — the story has neglected to flesh her out beyond her marriage and motherhood, so we have no idea if Rei wanted to become a mother prior to this arrangement, despite how much she loves her kids now — although it is possible that he might’ve internalized it this way.

So you have Touya, who at least knows with certainty that his father wanted him to exist, yet he comes to understand that his father only wants him if he can meet a specific set of expectations, and if he cannot, he’ll be discarded. If he can’t surpass All Might, he can’t fulfill his reason for existing and his father will have to replace him. So to have his mother urge him to follow a path other than becoming a hero would mean, to Touya, accepting that he is the mistake he fears he is. Of course he isn’t going to respond well to that.

I don’t like when people try to compare Touya’s reaction in this moment to Shouto’s when Rei tells him he isn’t bound by his father’s blood, using that to paint Shouto as the “good” child and Touya as the “bad” one. They didn’t react differently because of any innate sense of goodness or lack thereof -- they reacted differently because the situations are different.

Telling Shouto that he didn’t have to be like his father comforted Shouto, who only knew his father as the bully who hurt his mom. He associated his father, and his father’s fire, with all of that fear and pain -- and thus, he associated the part of himself that took after his father with those feelings. She wasn’t denying his dream of becoming a hero, only assuring him that when he became a hero it could be whatever kind of hero he chose to be, that he wasn’t doomed to be like his father.

Whereas what she tells Touya sounds a lot like what his father told him, which was to give up on being a hero and pursue other aspirations.

Encouraging Shouto to become his own version of a hero still falls in line with what Endvr ultimately wants, which is for Shouto to be a hero capable of surpassing All Might. Whereas this is what happens when Touya continues to train to do that against his father’s wishes:

This is where the framing begins to bother me and where Rei’s characterization becomes inconsistent.

So in this scene from Ch 302, we see Enji abusing his wife for “letting” Touya continue to train, punishing her for her “failure” to stop him. Obviously, none of that is Rei’s fault. If anything, Enji would be more responsible for preventing Touya from hurting himself since he’s the reason his son is hurting himself in the first place.

Moreover, the fact that he hits Rei over this sort of muddies the water of an previously-established narrative. Since the Sports Festival arc, we’ve known that Endvr abused his wife because she tried to interfere with Shouto’s training. It got to the point where she was terrified of her husband and it drove her to a breakdown. Why introduce this new aspect to the abuse, when it was already established that a) he was physically abusive and b) his motivations for abusing her were explicit to the audience?

I’m not saying it doesn’t make sense that a man who hits his wife for one reason could find another reason to do it and justify his actions to himself. And while the scene does portray Endvr in a bad light to show how wrong his actions are, literally draping his figure in shadow, why does it even dare to suggest the idea that Rei was remiss in her duties as a mother? Again, the scene isn’t even necessary, since the narrative has long-since showed the audience that Enji abused his wife.

By itself, the scene would read as further exploration of how Rei was victimized and how it affected her children. When you look at it with the chapter as a whole, though? Remember, this is the chapter where Rei claims that all of the family shares the blame in what happened to Touya, displacing some of the blame that rightfully rests on Enji.

But my major gripe with this scene is how it reframes the sole moment we get of Rei and Touya alone. Because we know that Rei understands Touya, based on her confrontations with her husband in Ch 301 & 302. Rather than encourage him to be what he wants or acknowledge that his father is in the wrong, however, her advice falls in line with what Enji wants -- to stop Touya from training. And this comes after a scene where we see Enji beat his wife when she doesn’t stop Touya from training.

With all that in mind, it could potentially be read as Rei trying stop Touya for the sake of protecting herself and the family -- I don’t think it’s coincidence that in the scene where he hits her that we see Shouto, Fuyumi & Natsuo all as witnesses who are very distressed by what’s happening to their mother -- at the cost of Touya’s need to be validated. And if executed well or at least better than it has here, that wouldn’t be a bad choice of narrative per se, and it would fit into the pattern where the households the villains were raised in -- notably Shigaraki, Dabi & Toga -- mimic the society they live in, just on a smaller scale.

Except. Does that sort of narrative make sense based on what we already know about Rei?

Certainly, it is natural to want to protect yourself under physical and/or emotional duress by appeasing your abuser. This sort of complicated dynamic appears in the Shimura family, too. Just like in the house that Kotaro built, the Todoroki family revolves around the desires of the abuser and is dictated by his whims.

I would argue that Nao does give us a well-written example of this narrative. From the beginning, it’s established that she loves Tenko dearly. But in the house her husband built, there’s no room to love her son as he deserves. She prioritizes the feelings of Tenko’s father for the sake of maintaining peace in the household and this is established quickly and plainly.

Early on in the flashback, Kotaro exerts his control over the house, while Nao + her parents look uncomfortable. Despite this, we watch as they comply with his rules, all at the expense of Tenko’s feelings. When she stands up to Kotaro at last, it is not where Tenko can see and already too late. It’s a painful story, full of regret and sadness, but it is consistent from start to end. Nobody feels out-of-character or there to prop up anybody else.

So why doesn’t Rei feel as consistent in this narrative?

Because it doesn’t fit with everything we knew about Rei prior to her abuser’s subpar redemption arc.

The way she interacts with Touya would make sense, if this was how she was portrayed from the start. However, her behavior in Shouto’s flashback -- where she was first introduced -- contrasts what we get in the later Todoroki flashbacks.

Let’s compare this to the scenes in Ch 302. Here, Rei interferes on Shouto’s behalf. She advocates for her son in front of Shouto where he can hear. She stands up to his bully/villain and tries to protect him, while also validating his feelings in the process. Directly after this, Enji hits her, not for failing to comply with his demands, but for defying him.

It is difficult to reconcile this Rei with the Rei we get in Ch 302. And if you try to find an in-story reason for the inconsistency, the options either do a disservice to Rei or make things even more painful for Touya. But I’m sure most of you have realized that I’m going to suggest a reason for this inconsistency that goes beyond the canon.

Because when Rei was first introduced in the story, Endvr was unequivocally the villain in the Todoroki family, not some misguided patriarch trying to atone for his “past” mistakes. Years later and in the midst of his redemption arc, the narrative seems to be intent on making this man more palatable to readers, and it’s used Rei at every opportunity to prop up his efforts to be better. Often, though, it takes some of the heat off Enji by displacing it onto other family members, most significantly Rei & Touya.

Like, you can literally see the difference in the frame from early in the manga to now:

Ch 39: Endvr trains his five-year-old to the point where he’s throwing up due overextension and being punched by a fully grown adult who is also his father. Rei tries to protect her son and gets slapped by Endvr. All the blames rests squarely on Endvr, who is clearly the aggressor and painted as the villain here.

Ch 302: Endvr hits Rei for not preventing Touya from sneaking out to train, knocking her to the ground. Again, Endvr is clearly the aggressor, but oh this time it’s not driven solely by his selfish desires it’s also cocnern for his son; Rei is the victim but oh she also should have been watching him more closely, and oh well why was Touya going out in the first place, when everyone has told him to stop and he knows his mom will get punished for it?

Honestly, I can understand where some people have mixed feelings over Rei’s character, particularly since the writing has done her such a disservice recently. With that being said, however, it takes a minimum amount of critical thinking to recognize that while you can criticize some choices she made, you cannot hold her to the same standard of accountability as Enji, it’s absurd. The power imbalance was obviously tipped in Endvr’s favor, always.

It is a shame, too, that we can’t have more discussions that don’t turn into some readers (a lot of whom are attempting to make Endvr sound less horrible than he actually was) trying to demonize her. It’s doubly a shame the story itself doesn’t bother to flesh her out as a person, instead using her as a prop, because the complex relationships she has with Touya -- with all her children, really -- has plenty of room for exploration.

Like, there was no reason to add this new dimension of resentment due to her spouting Enji’s words back at Touya, when there was already a source of tension supported by previous canon -- the neglect the Todoroki kids suffered because Rei couldn’t be the parent they needed, due to her declining mental health and eventual breakdown.

Or, if you want to complicate their dynamic further, why not add something that focuses on Rei and has nothing to do with Enji? We learn in the flashbacks that Rei agreed to the marriage more-or-less to please her family, lamenting that she “intended to smile through it to the end,” essentially admitting that her hope was she could grin and bear it. It is telling that she had this attitude before entering her marriage; evidently, she was raised with the idea that she should be acquiescent to her parents’ whims and not express herself if she was only going to be contrary. Maybe she didn’t know how to deal with Touya’s very expressive, very emotional outbursts as a result. And her inability to respond would be the exact opposite of what Touya was seeking.

Not to mention that Touya died, and for the last decade, Rei was under the impression she had lost her son forever. He died while she was hospitalized, torn up with guilt over what she did to Shouto, only to find out that her other son died in a frankly horrific manner, and she could do nothing. By the time she would’ve found out, it was too late to even try to do anything. I can’t imagine what she must’ve felt in terms of regret alone, plus her grief. And I’m still mad we were robbed of her reaction to Touya being alive, because now suddenly there is a chance to do something, to change what was once written in stone.

Or what about Touya’s feelings for his mother, that have yet to be given much depth? As the oldest and most aware of his existence, it seems like he was the first to truly understand his mother’s situation and I can’t help but wonder: If Touya knew he vessel for his father’s ambition, and his mother was sold into role of creating/caring for him, did he question her love for him? Once he found out one parent’s love was conditional, it wouldn’t be a leap for him to consider it for the other. And yet if that’s true, Dabi doesn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards her for that. He was angry at her hypocrisy, because he knows she should understand, but her words to him didn’t reflect that.

All of that is fascinating and so much better than what we got in canon, so far at least. I’m hoping for them interact in the present at least once before the end of the series, and I think they will, but as to how satisfying a reconciliation it’ll be, I guess we’ll have to wait to see how the Todoroki plotline progresses from here on out.

#bnha #touya todoroki #rei todoroki #bnha meta #bnha analysis #this took way too long because I kept having more thoughts which made it even longer lol #and it actually gave me another idea for a touya & rei meta post but this is already a monster so that'll have to be its own separate post

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namjoon-koya · 4 years ago

Note

Since we got a Todoroki having a little sister what about Dabi ?

I’m going to make this as fluff as I can because reading chapter 300 broke my hEart

Warnings: some spoilers? Angstish also the reader is young so you don’t know what happened in the Todoroki household.

Him being the older sibling he’s the first one to hold you at the hospital. Tells himself that he’s going to be the best big brother to you and will protect you with any means necessary. Whenever he isn’t with Fuyumi and Natsuo he’s with you, usually you’ll be sleeping though since you’re still a baby.

You tend to make his days better he has a lot of emotions he’s holding back, but one giggle from you and he suddenly forgets what he feels (for a while at least) he gets upset that Enji doesn’t show you any affection at all (he’s not surprised, but he hates it) he tries giving you the attention you deserve since Enji doesn’t.

When you start learning how to walk he’ll take you to the park (with Fuyumi and Natsuo tagging along) you have your cute lil squeaky shoes with a fluffy sweater (when you pull the hood up little bear ears show from the top) if you want to go down the slides you’ll have to sit on their laps (because I’ve seen videos on what happens when kids go down the slide ALONE💀) because they KNOW if you get hurt or even a little scratched their mom is going to give them an earful on having to be careful.

Whenever it’s your bedtime he’ll read stories to you (which makes you fall asleep fast) it becomes a routine he does. Usually he’ll pick a story or you’ll pick which one you want him to read, once he knows your fully asleep he’ll leave the room.

It broke him to leave you alone when he faked his own death, he was hesitant to do it, but he couldn’t back down he had a plan and he intended to complete it in the near future. After that he didn’t come to check up on you he could only hope that Fuyumi or Natsuo filled in his role.

Since you were still a kid and didn’t understand much about death yet you’d always ask Fuyumi or Natsuo where Touya was, but they always gave you a sad pitiful look before trying to distract you with something else. Natsuo was always busy with college so Fuyumi mostly had to take care of you after Rei got hospitalized.

Todoroki spent somewhat time with you, but he ended up training most the time and at this point you were 7 years old already. You finally understood what death meant and what happened to Touya whenever you got home from school you’d grab a book from your shelf and read outside near Touya’s shrine. You always believed that Touya’s spirit was with you even if he was gone.

(Endeavor’s arc I guess)

Todoroki was surprised that Enji was starting to spend more time with you (he was sorta.. nervous with him around you so he made sure to keep an eye out) he tried being more at home and eating dinner together. Fuyumi would always pick you up after school, but not anymore it was endeavor who was picking you up now. (Everyone was intimidated seeing Endeavor hold your small hand in his as you both walked to the car)

Shoto finally brought you to see Rei you haven’t seen her since she got hospitalized. So when he opened the door and Rei saw you she smiled and tried not to cry you grew up so much “mom!” You shouted running into her arms she kissed the top of your head while holding you in her arms. (Shoto takes a picture and sends it to Fuyumi and Natsuo and yes Fuyumi started crying her eyes out)

One time you got sick and went to Endeavor’s hero agency (since Fuyumi couldn’t take a day off from teaching) and lord behold you met Hawks. You were kind of intimidated by him his wings made him seem more bigger. He was going to say hi to you, but you quickly hid behind Enji (which Enji laughed while Hawks pouted about it) since Hawks spent so much time around Enji though you started to trust him.

NOW let’s talk about when Midoriya and Bakugo came over Todoroki’s house to have dinner. They didn’t even know Todoroki had a younger sibling so when you opened the door to them they both stood there SHOCKED. “Nii-San!” You said happily to Shoto “I’m home Y/N is Fuyumi making dinner?” You nodded before going back inside. “Todoroki you didn’t tell us you had a younger sibling.” Midoriya said as he started taking off his shoes. “Sorry, nobody ever mentioned anything so I didn’t. That’s Y/N though she’s only 7 so Bakugo don’t say any cuss words.”

You didn’t really understand why dinner was so awkward Natsuo was upset at Enji, but half of the things he was saying you didn’t completely understand (since no one mentioned what happened in the household) you saw Natsuo get up angrily and leaves. You didn’t leave the table until dinner was over Enji took the Shoto, Bakugo and Midoriya back to school and you decided to go find Natsuo.

He looked upset not that he was crying, but you could tell he was angry. “Nii-San are you mad at dad?” Natsuo quickly snapped his direction up at you his eyes softening he took off his sweater and wrapped it around you “it’s cold Y/N you shouldn’t be out here.” “You’re alone out here, but are you mad at dad?” Natsuo didn’t know what to say. The three of them made a promise to never tell you what happened the last thing they wanted to do was hurt you with the past “we just.. had a little disagreement Y/N it’s okay.”

You gently wrap your arms around Natsuo “if you need to cry you can nii-san whenever I would miss Touya I would do the same.” Sigh.. Natsuo really appreciated that even if you didn’t understand the full context of the argument. “Let’s go inside Y/N it’s cold and you’ll end up getting a fever again-“ suddenly he heard something he quickly pushed you behind him protectively. It was too dark outside he couldn’t see where the noise was coming from! “Y/N!” that’s when he finally saw what was coming he shoved you aside making the Nomu grab him “Natsuo!” You shouted as you fell backwards onto your butt the thing took off flying with him.

Fuyumi quickly rushed outside when she heard you scream “Y/N!” “Natsuo! That thing took Natsuo!” You cried into her shoulder. When Natsuo was recused the first thing you did was jump into his arms while crying “Y/N I’m fine see? Dad.. saved me on time it’s okay.”

You get to met Eri at first you both are shy she hides behind Mirio and you hide behind Shoto. Slowly you both start getting used to each other to the point where you two were running around the school festival excitedly.

So when does Dabi finally see you again? You went to the park alone. At first Enji and Fuyumi were kind of iffy about you being alone, but you kept repeating how you were old enough to go alone (hAhA of course Enji is going to check up on you a couple of times though) the park isn’t completely vacant, but your a bit more alone since some of the kids were playing on the playground while you were on the swinging.

As you were swinging back and fourth you started to remember when Touya would bring you to the park and play with you until sundown. He’d carry you on his back and asked what was your favorite part of the playground. The swings were you favorite Touya would push you (of course though not too high) you stopped swinging as you continued to remember the things you’d do with Touya at the park. Even Fuyumi and Natsuo would join in playing together so much time has passed and now usually everyone was busy.

Natsuo was still busy with school, Fuyumi was a teacher and didn’t have time to play all the time, Shoto was staying at U.A, and Enji was often at the hero’s agency.. you couldn’t remember the last time someone read you a story. You sniffle lightly as you rubbed your eyes “what are you so upset about?” You heard a voice next to you say you quickly looked up and saw a young man with raven black hair and a piercings on his face “I’m not upset.” The man chuckled before sitting down next to the swing beside you “then why did I hear you sniffle?”

You sighed “I miss my older brother his name was Touya.” Dabi’s hand clenched a bit “I love my other siblings! They try to make time for me, but Touya was always there he always brought me to the park or just read me stories at times! He passed away, but I always tell myself maybe that’s he’s still here with us as a spirit.” Dabi wanted to comfort you, but there’s a reason why he had to completely cut off connections with his family he couldn’t ruin his plan. “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but better times are coming soon.” He said getting up you looked at him questionably “how do you know?” “I know Y/N.”

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