#the thing i'm writing might be whump it might be like. the aftermath

[pain-love-it]

🛠!

google docs and I are currently in a feud about it never knowing what the hell im trying to spell!! i have also used Danger Notes before which is dope and works great i recommend it if you tend to zone out if there's no Adrenaline™️, i will probably be dragging it out again tonight

[oboetemasuka]

Aftermath

My bid for innocence in Milgramblr.

Or, more accurately, my bid that @good-beans started "Order of Attack". Sure, I sent the ask, but Beans created the concept of Eyepatch Amane.

I maintain that if I truly started it, Amane would have only been a bit scuffed. And here is my original vision as proof. (Uh, it might be tainted by 10 months of writing whump...)

Not proofread, but @stuffedsand and @purgemarchlockdown helped me brainstorm some of the dialogue.

(1089 words)

Wait, it's over a thousand words? It was only 500 words when I went to put the finishing touches!

Oops.

(This is queued for the 4am slot, but I will reblog with a poll once I'm awake.)

(Cw: canon-typical violence, cult mentality, reference to child abuse; Amane is a bad patient; medical information may be inaccurate)

-

A collision with the wall. A few whacks to the head. That was all Amane would get for now. That was all fine because she could barely move after that anyway.

The pain was all-consuming, unlike anything Amane had ever experienced before. She had never been this close to losing consciousness. Was she even conscious still?

The glare from Kotoko's eyes still burned in her. Unfathomable malice directed at a subject with no hope of redemption, but also a weak subject who could be tossed aside for later.

All she could do was wait for her proper turn like a good girl. 

Kotoko had more pressing matters to deal with, after all. That being Fuuta, who was screaming and kicking for her to stop. No wonder he was first; Kotoko must have thought he needed to learn the lesson faster. But Amane could hardly register what was happening to him, except that it was ten times as brutal as any punishment she had ever faced, and that a similar fate might await her.

But Kotoko did not finish because the door slammed open, and Amane returned to her shell of absolute, utter, intense agony.

Next thing she knew, Kazui was kneeling by her side, guiding her to lie down, asking her things that didn't make sense. Fuuta was lying limply on the floor, covered in blood. Kotoko was gone.

What had Kotoko said? Something about delivering punishments in order?

"Mahiru san…" Amane muttered. "All alone…"

"I know, but I can't leave you two here without anyone else to watch."

-

Truly, this pain was nothing. Amane's head was still spinning a day later, and a high-pitched sound rang in her ears. She tried to blink away the morning blurriness, but it refused to give way to clarity. A deep breath triggered the pain of a thousand bruises.

And yet she had gotten off lightly. The others could have died, or so she heard; nobody would give her more details than that.

She had to go see for herself. But the moment she got herself to her feet, she sensed the figure of a certain Kirisaki Shidou looming over her.

"Amane, what do you think you are doing? Go back to sleep." Ugh, how patronizing.

"I need to talk to my friends." She tried to her voice cold and calculated so Shidou wouldn't dare dismiss her, but she couldn't control the shaking.

"They are in no condition to talk. Let them rest. Do not bother them."

"Bother them? Surely they would like to see a friendly face after everything that transpired."

"You need to rest too. You shouldn't be walking around while concussed."

"I can walk around just fine."

"You'll only make your condition worse and slow down your recovery."

Amane glared at Shidou with as much willpower as she could muster. "Are you really going to drag me into your immoral practice? Now?"

In turn, Shidou sighed. "This isn't up for debate. Go back to sleep."

"Let me talk to them." It took all she had not to scream at him.

"You can do that after you rest." The desire to raise their voices seemed mutual.

As Amane opened her mouth to retort, dark spots began to swim in her vision. She wished she had the strength to tell Shidou to back off, but instead, he guided her back down to rest.

-

"Let me talk to them," Amane insisted.

"I am not going to let you risk your health over a conversation."

"I have proven that I can sit up for five minutes without falling over."

"I never asked you to do that. Go back and lie down."

"You said they could have died."

That caught Shidou's attention. "Your point is?"

"You are wasting a lot of your effort on me when they clearly need it more."

"Amane, you aren't making sense."

"I need to talk to them. What if they die, and I miss my chance to get closure because I'm resting?"

Not the most logical argument, but it seemed to strike a nerve in Shidou. "Fine. Five minutes with each of them. That's it."

-

Mahiru resembled a mummy, or half of one, with all the seemingly fresh bandages wrapped around her. She was well on the way to an early demise. Amane had half a mind to warn her to reject the doctor's evil work, but it seemed those words would fall on deaf ears. She had to make this time count.

"Mahiru-san… I'm sorry."

"Hmm…" Mahiru stirred slightly, eyelids quivering open. "Ama…"

"It's okay… don't push it… I just needed to say… I wish I was there with you. So you would not have to face those trials alone."

"But…" Mahiru pursed her lips, seemingly to say Fuuta's name.

"Fuuta-san was found by Kazui-san. I only wish you weren't alone." Maybe only was the wrong word. Amane leaned forward. "I wish that you won't die soon. I would miss you so much."

It took Mahiru a moment to process, but then she smiled slightly. "Thanks… Amane-chan…"

-

Fuuta was lucky that Kazui had intervened. But still, he was missing an eye, and it sounded like he could hardly breathe.

Rumor had it that he could have died if nobody stepped in. They had found Mahiru in critical condition, but they could have found Fuuta dead.

And then what would have become of Amane? No doubt, if left alone with Kotoko, she would have had it the worst. And if she had gone to visit Mahiru instead…

Amane shook away the thought. She only had a few precious moments to speak to Fuuta. He must have noticed her shadow because his good eye was now open and looking wearily at her.

"Fuuta-san, I'm sorry."

"For wh…" 

"I was too weak to stop Kotoko-san. I was there in the room, but I couldn't-"

"No…" 

What? That caught Amane off guard. Fuuta continued while she tried to find the words again.

"I'm… sorry… couldn't stop her…"

"Oh, no, it wasn't your fault. I-"

"Wasn't… yours… either…"

This conversation was going in circles, and time was slipping away.

"I just hope we can have a real conversation again someday." One that wasn't tainted by pain and suffering.

-

Amane tried to ignore the pounding in her head and drift off to sleep. She knew her suffering paled in comparison to Mahiru and Fuuta, but she had never known anything like this before.

She had never been this sleepless before. And yet this trial too would come to pass.

[bittersweetimaginings]

Request for an Alex fic!

I've always wanted to see some heavy whump put on this character-

Maybe a sick fic?

Or just a senerio where he is hurt/exhausted/thirsty/hungry etc.

She/Her

Tired • Alex DeLarge

⚠️Content warning: Implied & mentions of t0xic relationship dynamics, ch3ating, Alex being an asshole (as always), mentions and mild descriptions of injuries, description of (consensual) s3x and cursing (yes, theres SMUT in this one). 

*These characters do not belong to me, all rights to their respective owners, this is just a piece of entertainment by and for fans. 

Summary: After one of his outings with his droogs, Alex finds himself being injured. As his long-time girlfriend you feel the urge to take care of him. 

Reader’s pronouns: She/Her 

Keys: Y/N = Your Name. Nadsat glossary. 

Author’s notes: If you want to send your own request, please check the Disclaimers & Rules post and the MASTERLIST post to see more content and which characters are available. 

This is somewhat of a continuation to this fic: “in the aftermath” or at least I wrote it with the same MC in mind! However, this time she is less submissive and has grown to be a bit more confrontational with Alex and his shit! But is not necessary to read the first one, this can be enjoyed as a standalone if you want! 

I'm not here to judge why you are consuming this type of content (I'm the one doing the writing after all) I know from personal experience that this type of content (as weird as it sounds to some of you) might be used as a coping mechanism to a similar situation some of us might've experience or are currently experiencing irl; but just in case, I want to encourage you to reach for help, so please, if you're going through a tough time or experiencing some kind of violence, here are some resources that I was able to find and might be of help, please stay safe everyone: 

List of countries and their helplines for d0m3stic abus3, s3xual as5ault and other resources. 

List of other resources for immediate help. 

List of countries and their respective helplines for su1cid3 prevention/crisis. 

Consider donating to my Ko-fi! 

"He's been in there all week! Barely eats, barely goes out...I might knock the door down and put an end to this worry!" 

You hear Alex's mom tone through the phone slowly rising making her concerns quite apparent. 

 “I don’t think that’s necessary, I’m sure he’s fine, Ms.-”  

“Y/N dear, wouldn’t it be possible for you to come by the house this mornin’?” 

A slight pause is settled as you ponder her request. Truth be told, you haven’t talked with Alex much as of lately, the reason being you two breaking up (again) over him continuously flirting with another woman (again) and since you were already used to such behavior it wasn’t really the flirting that set you off (having Alex as your boyfriend had made you grown desensitized to many things), it was more the time and place that angered you, and though you knew you’ll get back together eventually, you had grown quite comfortable as a single woman, it was like allowing yourself a breather and would like to stay that way at least for a little bit longer... 

“I don’t think-…" 

“Please, dear...I- I noticed you and Alex haven’t talked much but maybe is time to patch things up?” 

You fall silent. The lady on the other end of the line has always been kind and warm to you even when her kid really wasn’t. Though perceptive she’s unaware about the true nature of your relationship with her son, only knowing the brighter side of the whole ordeal, it’s natural that she asks for your help, believing you to be a positive influence in Alex’s chaotic life. 

“Y/N?” 

She asks; the undeniable worry dripping in her voice tugging at the heartstrings of your own weak and sensible heart, you comprehend her pain and to be quite honest...you had been worried too...after all it is hard to break old habits...  

“I’ll be there as soon as I’m finished with school” 

You announce with a heavy sigh, hoping you won’t regret it. 

“Thank you dear! I appreciate it!” 

[…] 

The door to Alex’s home is right in front of you, the apartment is unusually quiet even knowing that his parents are most likely at work at this hour; you open the door with the spare key Alex gave you long ago and enter, his room it’s right down the hall of the apartment and before you knock there’s a slight hesitation as you wonder if this is really the best choice...maybe you can still turn back. 

You measure your options and become unaware of the movement in the rotary combination lock and only come back to reality as the door suddenly springs open. 

You haven’t seen his blue eyes in a couple of weeks, maybe that’s why you freeze in place as his surprised gaze meets yours, his brows narrow in confusion but soon a smirk on his face appears. 

“Well, well! Hi, hi, hi there! ‘Been a long time, innit?” 

He seemingly mocks you and visibly sizes you up with his eyes as he leans his body in the doorframe; it takes you a couple of blinks to get out of your trance and when you do you can’t help but feel angered at his smug attitude; you didn’t expect an apology, it’s been a long time since those stopped coming for every time he cheated. In fact, you don’t know what you expected...but definitely something better than this, your brows furrow and take a quick glance at him only to notice the state he’s in: bruises, most of them in the left side of his body, part of his chest on that side even seems quite swollen and some small superficial cuts on his right cheek. 

“Something wrong?” he asks dryly  

“You look like trash” the words come out of your mouth, hoping to hurt him even if just a bit, but instead he scoffs while leaning this time in your direction, his gaze looking for yours as he closes the distance. 

“My, really?” his voice drops in to a suggestive but slightly threatening tone, mocking smile never leaving him. 

The closeness of it all making you realize the man in front of you has been half naked from the beginning if only for a pair of underwear to cover him. 

As you roll your eyes and aggressively walk into his room you hope your cheeks aren’t flushed in case, he decides to tease you any further. As you enter you notice the messy state of the room which strikes you as odd since you know Alex usually tries to very careful when it comes to it but you figured he might’ve just thrown a tantrum recently. Then you see Basil sitting calmly in his usual spot by the poster of a naked woman, you immediately approach it. 

“Oh, hi there!” your baby voice coming through as you pet the top of the snake’s head. 

You hear him walk and feel him right behind you, his chin eventually touches the top of your head, his arms wrap around your body just right below your breasts and although you’re still mad you don’t make any attempts to remove him. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of viddying* you here?” 

“Your mom called; said you wasn’t coming out of your room like some pathetic hermit. Figured it was serious if there was no record of you and the boys in the last few days”  

“Were you worried then?” 

“No” Yes, you were but won’t admit it so easily, he scoffs once more, he can see through you and as he holds you tighter, he bows his head just slightly to kiss your temple. 

“Then...why is that you’re here? More than welcomed to ignore her, are you not?” Whispers in your ear and you only try to calm the goosebumps by focusing your attention ever harder on the reptile in front of you. You hear him laugh lowly at your reaction. 

“My kisa*, you’re not being quite honest...” His declaration carries on with his mouth now traveling down your neck peppering small kisses. You hate how quick the urge of being all over him invades you, turning around quickly you reach to kiss him but as your hands rest on his chest for support he suddenly winces in pain and pushes you away. 

“bloddy cal*!” he mumbles as he tries to soothe his pain by covering the affected area with his hand, though startled by his sudden action you take the time to examine what exactly is wrong. Walking towards him you place your hand over the one he holds defensibly, subtly asking him to lower it to which he complies. 

Your hand explores the swollen side of his chest gently, it takes you a couple of minutes to realize the reason he is in pain:  

“Jesus, Alex your rib is fucking broken!” his brows furrow once more in an annoyed expression as he hears you exclaim. 

“Quite the sharp one are you, eh?” sarcasm present in his voice, maybe a bit bothered you didn’t notice it sooner. 

The thought of asking “what happened?” crosses your mind, but seeing the state the room is in, you pick up on the fact that it might be a sore topic for him and you don’t want him throwing another tantrum as he might injure himself further; instead, you scoff at him in a mildly angered expression. 

“Lay down, let’s treat it before it gets worse or Mr Deltoid finds out and questions you about it” you command and are satisfied with how quick he obeys at the mention of Mr Deltoid. 

[...] 

You surprise yourself with how many times you have helped Alex with his injuries it’s almost second nature to you at this point and though you pride yourself in your impeccable first-aid abilities you can’t help but see just how sad this really must be. 

Alex lays on his bed, eyes closed and wearing a pained expression that you know comes from the sensation of cold he feels through the bandages you had applied in his chest moments before; you hold a frozen bag of peas covered with a random woman’s blouse you found lying in his bedroom and take note it is not one that belongs to you and most certainly not his mother... 

“careful” he warns as he feels the pressure shifting; out of spite you disobey him and apply more pressure, making him wince once more. 

 “Ah! What you think you’re even doin’?!?!” in anger he almost sit up, but the pain knocks him back down. 

“Asshole” you declare throwing the clothing item in his face, setting the frozen bag aside, you sit by his side as you try to calm your own frustration. Alex gets strangely quiet but doesn’t move a muscle at your sudden vent and there’s a brief silence before it breaks. 

“You don’t need to take it so seriously” he says, seemingly in an attempt to comfort you without lying telling you that “it won’t happen again”  

“...” you look at him in frustration, he looks back at you and even through his expression is serious at the beginning, a smile grows on him as he notices your gaze, probably taking pleasure in your aching in some way. 

“C’mon, my pretty kisa, are you jealous?” he lightly tugs at the fabric of your dress as a way to secure your attention. 

“You don’t know what I’m feeling” you mutter. It’s true, you’re not jealous, just tired of the same shit, yet he’s so sure of his assumption he chuckles at your denial. Holding your elbow, he guides you to lay beside him, you don’t fight his action, deep down wanting the comfort he extends. 

“Now, now, my kisa, you can’t be jealous at some starry sooka who can’t even compare” 

You sigh, already overwhelmed by his sweet-talk, you just want him to shut up. 

“Don’t” he looks at you, one eyebrow raised in confusion as you interrupt him in the middle of his speech to kiss him lightly. 

“I don’t want to hear it” you whisper as your voice seems to falter slightly by the lump in your throat.  

He smiles his ever-dashing smile, those bright electrifying blue eyes staring at you with a hint of amusement, but this time you don’t really care about it. 

He stares at your lips, holds the back of your head tightly and finally kisses you roughly, it’s hard for you to keep up with him when you feel so close to crying; none the less you continue, allowing yourself the opportunity to block everything out; right now you don’t want to think how bad he really is for you. 

He caresses your leg, his hand lifting your dress allowing him easy access to your ass which he squeezes firmly enough to hurt you just slightly and as you react by throwing your head back to allowing yourself to moan, he quickly takes the space to kiss your neck this time even leaving a trail of bite marks on it and you make a mental note to find a way to cover those later. 

You can feel his hand trying to unfasten the top part of your dress and so you help him, allowing for your exposed breasts to be tasted by him, you moan even harder when you feel him suck especially harsh on one of your nipples. 

“Shit” you curse at him, this time you decide to get back at him by sliding your hand past his underwear and taking his cock in your hand making harsh up and down motions earning you a sudden grunt from him followed by a small laugh. 

“Quite the baddiwad* are you, my kisa, eh?” He manages to let out in between all the groaning 

Your only response comes in the form of a mocking smile, one similar to the many others he had given you 

“I can be even worse” you declare, in an act of petty revenge you press lightly at his injured spot, just enough for the pain to leave him lying on his back once more as you act quickly and climb right on top of him, you make eye contact with him and can tell that he is not only surprised but curious to see where this new found side of you might lead him. You lower yourself until your entrance falls just above his length and start grinding on it. You moan along with his grunts; you can feel him trying to hold himself back from cuming right then and there by gripping your ass and thighs with so much force you can tell he’s trying to anchor himself. 

You make a slight pause as you place your own underwear aside, leaving yourself partially exposed as your dress still hangs by your waist. You lower back onto him, this time allowing him to enter you; you watch as he looks at you with that beastly gaze of him, one full of determination and lust. Wasting no time, you begin riding him, but unlike many times before, this time you only care about your pleasure. 

You can’t tell how many times you danced up and down his cock, whatever the number might be you fasten your own pace when you feel so close and finally you reach it, your head and body naturally lean forward asking for a kiss as you moan a random curse you can’t even remember now. He complies kissing you and allowing yourself a few seconds to catch your breath, but only that...seconds, as he grabs your hips and tries to replicate your movements from moments before. 

But before he can do so, you act faster; pressing once more the sore spot on his chest he is thrown back in bed by the pain and you take the chance to come down from him, stand up, quickly fix your clothes and walk towards the door without allowing him any release. 

You hear him curse at you behind your back and maybe make an attempt to grab you but instead you get the pleasure of slamming the door right in his face. As you bolt through the hallway and out of flatblock 18A where your long-time boyfriend lives, you smile to yourself.  

It might be time for a change in your life... 

Consider donating to my Ko-fi! 

[chicgeekgirl89]

2023 Writing Roundup

Thanks to @liminalmemories21 and @ladytessa74 for the tags!

I guess the next time I'm mad at myself for not writing more I'll just...tell myself to shut up lol. Holy heck this is a lot of fic.

January

Paper Rings- A 5+1 of Tarlos wedding planning. I adore this one.

Packing a Piece- Early days Tarlos, T.K. taking care of Carlos as his feelings grow stronger.

My Pain Fits in the Palm of Your Freezing Hand- What a labor of love, Carlos' POV during the Ice Storm arc.

February

I Get it From You- 5+1 of habits the boys have picked up from each other. So fun to write!

Will You Take What's Left of Me?- Me trying to figure out the mess of Carlos having a secret wife 🙄

Like I'm Gonna Lose You- T.K. saving Carlos' life after his abduction and the aftermath.

Glitter and Be Gay- This one is so freaking funny lol. Carlos hates glitter and he suffers because of it. T.K. is amused.

How to Say Goodbye- My last NCIS LA Densi fic. That fandom has meant the world to me and I'm sad the show is over.

March

Love is Sitting on the Bathroom Floor- T.K. has food poisoning, Carlos takes care of him, it's so sweet!

The Luck O' the Irish- I truly love how this one turned out, my little fic about Tarlos doing a class project with their child in the future and Carlos being a neurotic dad lol.

April

I Won't Say I'm in Love- Carlos falling in love with T.K., Adriana and Francesca being their best/worst selves. This one has some of the best dialogue, god they're fun.

Mothers and Sons- Andrea caring for T.K. as they wedding plan. Made myself cry with this one.

May

Shiner- Coda for 4x15, Carlos finding out about T.K.'s black eye and taking care of him.

A Helping Hand- Lololol a fic based on my real life experience with rain and smoke detectors.

June

Happy Campers- Boys camping trip with whumped Carlos is just what the summer ordered!

July

We Have Suffered Enough- 4x16 post-ep. God did they really need the Huntington's scare?!

Day Zero- T.K. struggles after being drugged by Sadie.

August

Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting- This might be the best fic of the year. Mama and Papa Reyes getting into trouble at a bar with T.K. and poor Carlos having to sort it all out is the stuff my dreams are made of.

September

Rugby King- My sweet, sweet Heartstopper boys. I was so nervous writing this fic and I'm so glad I did. Whumpy Nick and worried Charlie are such perfection and it was so fun to jump into this fandom!

October

Come Sail Away- My magnum opus for this year lol. The longest thing I've written to date and a love letter to the drama and antics of Below Deck. Also my first AU! (Technically...)

November

Tío T.K.- T.K. being a freaking badass and helping Carlos' nephew. Adriana and Francesca return. A joy from start to finish.

Phew! What a year! Thanks to everyone who has read my work this year!

Tagging @lemonlyman-dotcom, @bonheur-cafe, @carlos-in-glasses, and @thisbuildinghasfeelings!

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🧽 cleaning them up after for boost

(Me: for once, writes a one-off character. Readers: MORE GIVE US MORE)

You can see the only time Boost has ever appeared before right here

-

CW: Aftermath of noncon, pet whump, Facility whump, BBU, caretaker

"This is the third time in a week." Her voice is rough, but not unkind, as she leans against the doorframe. Boost doesn't look directly at her lathering himself with the rough soap. It smells like false oranges, and the scent clings to his skin for hours after. But it's better than what he'd smell like otherwise.

"I know." He leans over, letting the hot water soak into his hair, all mussed up from the handler's fingers. His mouth hurts, jaw aching. He's not made for this. It takes effort and thought, not like the mindless seductions the Romantics fall into, the effortless way they arch their back just so, lock legs around a trainer's back, cry out in ecstasy everyone involved knows they're not really feeling.

Boost doesn't know how to sound like that. But the handler doesn't seem to mind.

"It's dangerous," She says, crossing her arms. 909 is one of the oldest here, and he'd ask her just how old she is, but he knows she doesn't know either. But she cleans up in the office side, walks around accounting all day. They call her Lili up there. Boost thinks Lili is a pretty name, but she drops it the second the elevator brings her back down here.

I won't take their little nicknames that let them think I'm paid, she says. She moves like someone who had power, once, before it was taken from her along with everything else.

"It's not that dangerous. He doesn't hurt me."

It's true. Each time the handler crooks a finger and Boost follows him, it feels a little better. It hurts a little less. And the handler gets a little sweeter. Gives him extra food, slips him things. Last month, he'd gotten a bag of potato chips he'd hidden underneath the trash bag in the bin he'd been pushing around. He'd pulled it out when he came back into the dorm and every single maintenance pet had been able to share a potato chip, salty and crunching between their teeth.

He'd given the handler his best the next time he'd been pulled aside, and now that gifts were turning into bigger things. A milkshake that tasted like real vanilla, whipped cream and cherry on top. An extra blanket made of something impossibly soft (one of the others had stolen it immediately, but now they had decided to share it, every pet taking one night with it at a time).

"I don't think it's dangerous because of what the handler might do. It's against the rules. You're not supposed to fuck them."

Boost ignores her, rinsing the shampoo out of his hair with his eyes closed, hot water pounding against his cheeks, washing away the last of what the handler had left there.

I read on the internet that it's good for your skin, some giggly girl's voice says, deep down within him, and he winces at the spike of pain that follows.

"Hey. Are you even listening to me?"

"I'm trying not to, but you're being really annoying about it."

She sighs, so loud he can hear her over the shower. He turns the water off and walks over to the folded towels, drying off his hair and then working on his body. He has scars from all his failed training, from how they'd used him for Guard Dog bait for a few weeks before moving him to maintenance, knowing he'd be grateful for the mercy.

"Please." Her voice softens a little, and he looks up then, pulling on a new pair of the flat black pants he wears, the long-sleeved white t-shirt. Same colors as trainees, more skin covered. It's a mercy, too.

He inhales, and then lets it out in a drawn-out exhale. "It's... something to look forward to. Okay? That's all. It's just nice to get some things, sometimes."

"You'll be punished, if the Maintenance Head gets bugged about it. Not him, you."

"I know."

"Then why?"

"Because it's going to happen, 909. I might as well get to control who it happens with. Since Handler Thompson started taking me aside, none of the others even look at me. He told them to leave me alone, and they do. Do you understand? If I-... it makes it better for all of us. Next time, he says, he'll take me out with him for a smoke break."

She hitches in a breath, and he watches her put a hand out to steady herself against the doorframe. "He... outside?"

"Yeah." He smiles, lopsided, a little faint. "Outside. I don't even remember what outside looks like, just what we see on TV. I want to go outside, 909. I want to see what it looks like out there."

He wants to get a look at how high the fences are, and decide if he could climb them fast enough.

"Well... be careful." She gathers his dirtied towels up for him and dumps them into the hamper, while he finishes drying his hair. He smells like oranges. He can feel the handler's touch still on his skin, fingers in his hair.

But when he'd whispered, please, call me Boost, Handler Thompson...

The handler had whispered back, if I'm calling you Boost, you should call me Clint.

And that's something new.

[voidwhump]

yea what i was talking about to whither-wander-whump was Dragonlance, like you guessed. Dragonlance Legends specifically (so, in case you're not sure which one that was, the premise is basically that the mage Raistlin wants to become a god, his twin brother Caramon needs to do a bunch of character development and stop being emotionally dependent on Raistlin, and the cleric Crysania wants to redeem Raistlin and Raistlin uses that to manipulate her to help himself). I've just been having brainrot abt it, like Dragonlance isn't even really a main fandom for me - honestly I haven't even really looked into what sort of a fandom exists for it, i've just been. you know. having brainrot abt it and suffering silently on my own, lmao. (I haven't even read that much of the franchise, and I'm further hindered by the fact that my local library mostly only has translated copies which I refuse to touch because the one time I read one of the books translated, the translation quality was awful. So anyway for now all I've read is Chronicles, Legends, and the first book of Destinies.)

Anyway for some reason my brain has decided it's fun to poke at Caramon a little bit (literally this wasn't a choice my brain just went okay we're rotating him now, without asking my opinion, you know how it is sometimes) and i've been toying with some "okay no way in hell he's actually just fine at the end of the story, he's gotta be traumatized as fuck after all that, what if I make him break down a lil bit over everything and then throw in some comfort" kinda thing. Y'know, a good old-fashioned aftermath angst / hurt/comfort fic. And I just feel like a few extra scars and an injury that didn't really heal properly or some lil things like that could be fun to add into the mix. anyway yea idk i'll probably never actually write it anyway cuz my brain is stupid

(also i ended up even reading the books in literally the stupidest weirdest most roundabout "how the fuck did you even manage that" way, it's ridiculous, but that's beside the point)

Cool! Like I said, dragonlance has never been my main focus, but I definitely read at least the first book of chronicles and I remember Raistlin but not his twin for some reason. It might be because I read it somewhere between 8 and 11 years ago lmao.

If you do actually get words on paper, the two routes I primarily see in fanfic in D&D universes to keep cannon injuries around are 1. removing magical healing that happened in cannon or 2. making a unique injury harder to heal/fully recover from than was established in cannon. For injuries invented for the fanfic writers just exclude clerics and include limited healing potions it seems.

I just now thought of a secret third option that could be a vibe: phantom pain from an injury that was healed but for whatever reason that character's brain didn't catch on. Maintains cannon injury -> magical healing status but fits nicely with emotional stress.

Anyway fucking mood on not being able to find copies of these older series, I've been trying to hook myself up with legend of drizzt ebooks for a while but Hoopla straight up removed the prequel trilogy at some point and libby's options from my branch are sporadic at best and always checked out. If I'm buying books I want physical copies and I do NOT have the space for that lol. Or the funds really.

[dreamwatch]

Writers 20 questions tag game!!

Thank you to @devondespresso for the tag. The last time I did this I think I had barely written anything and had nothing up on AO3 so this is exciting to do again.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

11 and growing!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

18,891

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things. Steddie. Just Steddie. Because of the Steddie of it all. I wouldn't be opposed to branching out to some Edancy though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm A Bad Boy For Breaking Her Heart; California I'm Coming Home; I Can Love You Better Than Him; I Tell You Folks, It's Harder Than It Looks; Only The Horses Can Bring Us Back Home

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Now granted I have a couple outstanding to reply to from last week, but yes always because it genuinely amazes me that people take the time to do that. ❤️

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm... published I would say Brothers Keeper and/or Fight To Be Free, but they are wee ficlets and depends on your definition of angst I guess. Even thinking of my angstiest WIPs I'm not sure any of them have anything really sucky planned for the end. I'm all about the angst/pain/suffering and then a nice cup of cocoa and a cuddle for the final chapter.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

California I'm Coming Home. I think most of the published fics are pretty happy endings, but I think this one is the most fairytale almost. It's kind of an Oprah ending - Wayne gets a happy ending, and Eddie gets a happy ending, and Steve gets a happy ending! 😂

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far no. Hopefully never.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

*clutches rosary beads* Nope. I honestly can't imagine ever being able to write smut, I suspect its the deeply ingrained Catholic guilt. But never say never!

10. Do you write crossovers?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I fucking hope not. Do you know how long it takes me to write this shit? I've been writing one fic since the beginning of 2023 and it's still not finished!!! 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not as far as I'm aware.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No... I like the theory of it, it sounds like it could be fun, but at the same time I don't understand the mechanics of it and I could see it ending in tears.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gosh, this is har-- STEDDIE! IT'S STEDDIE!!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

All of them? Positive thoughts, positive thoughts. I have snippets and pieces for three fics that I'm not sure will ever get finished; one was being referred to as Eddie and Dustin Do Hookers and Blow (it really wasn't like that, I promise!) - basically miserable Eddie suffering in a shitty apartment in the city and Dustin rocking up and being all 'I've had no life experiences, my friends are all living their best life, I don't want to go to college - take me out for a wild night!'. Hilarity ensues etc. Likely will never get finished and I'll probably strip it for parts.

The other one was Eddie and Steve reconnect in the 90s. Eddie toured the country in his van for years, depressed and traumatised (hi, if you're a new reader I like to write Eddie as depressed and traumatised. All. Of. The. Time. You're welcome). He eventually settles down, becomes a nurse (Nurse Eddie truther!) and runs into Steve. Hilarity ensues. Or, they fall in love anyway. But yeah, realistically never getting finished.

The last one was an aftermath/recovery fic. I have about 7k words for this. This was my first stab at fanfic in about 15 years and it shows! I bit off more than I could chew and was taking it in too many directions. As it stands it will never be finished but there is a nugget of a story in there that I still want to tell. It's mostly medical whump before the loving and romance. Might just stay as a little mind movie for myself to re-run over and over.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhh... I think I have good ideas, and I like to take ideas and flip them. For example - Steve has bad parents. Well, what if they're nice? Um. Can't really think of anything else.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

What's the max word count for a post on Tumblr? Lol, joking. Run on sentences, like ruuuuuuuuuuuun on. Too many commas. Too many elipses. I am way too slow because I read too much fic so nothing gets finished. I cannot write connecting action for shit. I can give you dialogue. I can give you internal monologues for days. I cannot connect the two. Annoys the shit out of me. Also I can be super light on description sometimes, and I think it's because I write for myself that I forget other people need to see what I can see! Also giving my fics stupidly long titles which is really annoying when you have to keep them typing them out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't think I would be comfortable doing it because I know I would get it wrong. Sometimes it really throws me in a fic and I have to run off to google translate or scoot up and down to the authors notes to decipher whats being said. Which is fine if its a one off but I've read whole conversations like that in fics and nope. Back button is calling my name. Tricky to pull off well I think.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The A Team. I was shit and nothing got published and we should all be very pleased about that.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oooh, tricky. California I'm Coming Home and Only The Horses. Oh and I Can Love You Better Than Him I think. I love the idea of Eddie being rescued by Steve. Not going to count the WIPs because they would trump everything! I love them!

Crikey that was fun! As always, no pressure tags -

@cchapsticck @occasionaloverboy @thisapplepielife @loudsnapdragon @hitlikehammers @postmodernau @soaringornithopter @lingeringmirth @devilyouwere

[highladyluck]

Wifeswap AU: Mat/Faile and Perrin/Tuon

I kind of covered this in Perrin's Cursed Shadar Logoth Ax AU, in that I think Coyote Cauthon would end up with Berelain, and Faile would be his Birgitte-style galpal, and Gun!Perrin/Tuon is a hideous disaster that hopefully doesn't have all its shit hit the fan until after the Last Battle.

2. BUT. Someone on here (and I need to look up who) had a theory that the two birds fighting over a ta'veren were originally supposed to be Tuon and Berelain, and the ensuing choice would have been between allying with the invading descendants of Hawkwing vs the local descendants of Hawkwing. Part of the idea was that this would have tied into the Old Blood thing that Mat had early on, and Mat would have had the raising Manetheren plotline. 3. Aside from the bird thing as it currently is being kind of gross and thematically not super interesting, and the Mat's Old Blood plotline mostly ending up as Early Installment Weirdness instead of tying into the raising of Manetheren, I think there's evidence for this in the fact that Tuon and Faile have a lot of strange little similarities.

4. But keeping the setting and plot the same, and just trying to make it work personality wise... I could maybe see Mat doing like a slowburn friends to lovers thing with Faile? They've got the knife kink going for them & Mat loves a competent violent lady. Mat's a little bit in love with almost every woman, so the trick to getting Mat to fall hard in love is some combination of him being emotionally ready, and also kinda frog-boiling him in slightly escalating feelings that he doesn't notice until it's too late for him to escape. For her part, Faile seems very firmly not into twinks, but otoh that'll help; this is not going to work if Faile comes on too strong too fast. Faile admires competency but also wants a fixer-upper, and Mat does fit the bill.

5. I have to go with a variation on the Gunk Premise for Perrin/Tuon; Perrin has just killed Faile or someone else he loves sincerely, goes off the rails because he can't trust himself anymore, and ends up doing wetwork for Tuon because he wants to be punished, used, and eventually discarded by a professional. Tuon makes him a Seeker and loves him in the way she loves her tools, and I guess if Mat isn't in the picture and she needs to make an alliance she might marry him, but it's pretty unlikely to get healthier or more equal. UNLESS she gets made damane, and Perrin rescues her, and then probably someone else entirely gets them therapy and teaches them both how to be functional people somehow, and they have some sort of hint of a real relationship in the aftermath. Which would actually be kind of cool, but is not something I'm equipped to write, that's like several levels of whump beyond my skill or interest level.

[dawnquafam]

2, 3, 11, 13, and 25 for the fic writer ask game!

2. A character whose POV you're currently exploring

Orm. I feel like my first instinct is to jump to any POV but his when I'm writing fic about him for some reason, so there's still a lot for me to explore there. I particularly enjoyed writing his POV during the first movie in one scene of The Bracelet Pact, I need to do some more stuff with him during that era (or any time between Orvax successfully molding him in his image and him breaking free of that, really)

3. How you feel about your current WIP

I was working on a cute little bit of feverish Orm whump with Stephen taking care of him before I came to answer this, so that's some simple fun <3 I'm a lot more nervous about the idea I might start later tonight about the buildup to and immediate aftermath of Shinorm sleeping together for the first time bc that's just not my comfort zone at all. I've never really cared about sex in any of my ships before (and this fic still would not include the smut beyond some making out, idk how to write that and I'm still not interested in figuring it out), but the amount of trauma they would both have to work through to get to enjoying that part of a relationship just won't leave me alone and I need to attempt to get something about it out of my system

11. A WIP you'd like to finish someday

I desperately need to finish my Orm & Atlanna angst fic. I've hurt myself far too much with it to just leave it in the private shadows of my external drive forever, I started that thing three months ago and writing Orm yelling at her still feels illegal (and it establishes some backstory for Shinorm moving in together, which is important to me bc Them)

13. A fandom you're thinking about writing for

Monsterverse Godzilla bc I have not let go of the idea of him and Orm being besties. Also, while I've written for Stargate before, it's been years, and if I ever get a proper idea for some Shinorm & Daniel/Vala content I might just get back into it (I've been meaning to make a "same ship different fonts" post for those two for a while now)

25. Besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

Giffing, obviously, and some vidding and photography. I haven't gotten far yet, but I've also got the supplies to get into crocheting bc I love stuffed animals and I would love to be able to make myself cute creatures and smol soft versions of my blorbos

Fic writer asks!

[erdarielthewhumper]

Depends on the fandom, but generally speaking I have a number of characters I like whumping (usually a large overlap with characters that are just generally my fave), so I do rotate the characters a bit, but generally I kinda think of the character and the thing I wanna do to them at the same time? But it's generally not trope first, character second, unless I'm writing off a prompt I guess.

But like yeah it varies from fandom to fandom. Back when I was into BBC Musketeers it might be any of the main four guys getting hurt (maybe with a slight preference for Athos and Aramis, but still it might be any). That also tended to be fairly simple "they just get hurt just because" things, very often not related to a specific canon event (although there were a couple of ones playing with stuff related to the Savoy massacre thing, and some episode aftermath ideas I played with), like just okay they're somewhere anf they get attacked by bandits kinda thing y'know? There it could go either way in terms of character first or trope first.

Kinda same with Merlin, sometimes my mood is "I wanna fuck with this specific character" snd sometimes it's "hehe i have an idea, who shall i torment with it"

But then some fandoms are different, like with DS9 it's practically always Julian for me (and tbh most of my whumpy DS9 ideas tend to also be either set during his captivity shortly before "In Purgatory's Shadow" or be "In Purgatory's Shadow"/"By Inferno's Light" aftermath fics, or be about the aftermath of "Dr. Bashir, I Presume" because you can't tell me there wasn't some more aftermath to that than we were shown (and since "Dr. Bashir, I Presume" is directly after "In Purgatory's Shadow/By Inferno's Light" in the episode order, sometimes it's fun to go "okay these happened very quickly one after another, how fucked up does the combination of all that shit all at once leave him?")

And then there's Tolkien fandom, where a lot of my whump ideas kinda start with me identifying a gap in the canon where something might have happened that we don't really know of (like, say, "Wait what happened to Aragorn in Moria to make him say that the memory is "very evil" and be so reluctant to go there?" or "When and where has Aragorn encountered the Black Riders before and what happened that makes him straight-up have a flashback/panic attack just talking about the Black Riders to the hobbits that one time?" or "Hey Elrond and Celeborn spent like three years besieged in what-would-become-Rivendell after Eregion fell, there might be some juicy whump that happened during the siege") and seeing where it goes from there. Or then it's like I have headcanons abt a character/event that aren't necessarily whumpy in themsekves but then I start extrapolating from there the same way I do with gaps in canon to get some fun story from the implications of that and oops that's whump

so yeah idk man it just really depends for me

For whump writers who write fanfic, do you guys have specific characters for fandoms that you always write or do you figure out the trope first and then decide on which character?

Like I try to vary the characters once in a while, but I just always go back to one or two specific characters. I can read fanfic of any of the characters but writing I just get the characters and then use them until a new obsession comes.

[edoro]

Do you have any fanfiction recommendations? Just anything that fits under the umbrella of being based on the owl house.

cracks knuckles

to preface this, my faves are heavily weighted towards Fics About Hunter And His Trauma, and i pretty much exclusively read fic in the Hunter tag, so that's what these are all gonna be

i will be putting this under a cut for length, and adding relevant content notes to stuff, but just as kind of a blanket thing, I Enjoy And Write Fucked Up Fiction About Heavy Dark Taboo Topics

so first of all, when i rocked up on the TOH scene here and went "hey, this kid is super molested, where's the fic about that?" the only person i could find writing it was Nova my friend Nova, whose excellent series the Emperor and his Golden Guard is just a fantastic look into how bad Hunter's life sucks.

this series follows Hunter throughout various times in his life as he's groomed and abused by his uncle and struggles to make sense of it. among other things, it does an astounding job of portraying the fractured, dreamlike quality life takes on when you're living in an inescapable hell of unpredictable trauma, and Hunter's dissociation both during the abuse incidents and just in general. heavy but very good!

obvious content warnings here for csa, incest, internalized victim-blaming, basically everything you could expect from the concept.

small comfort has got to be hands down my favorite Hunter CSA Trauma fic in this entire fandom. it is so good. it swings hard at portraying the dreadful mundanity and normalcy of this sort of abuse when you've been groomed into it for your whole life and it does not miss. Hunter's slowly growing but intensely baffled awareness that something isn't quite right is simply heartbreaking.

warnings for csa, incest, and also cocsa (is it still cocsa if they're teens? i think that best communicates the degree of "a very abused child unknowingly enacting that abuse on others")

the sequel, baby steps, focuses on Darius, Raine, and Eda in the aftermath of the revelations of the first fic, and is also one of my favorite "the adults contemplating and admitting just how much they overlooked/ignored how obviously abused this kid was" fics.

Owl Whumptober 2021 (oh god shut up about the passage of time shut up about the passage of time) is a truly delightful series of whumpfics by azhdarchidaen (i would also recommend all of his other fics, tbh! they are all Very Good) that are mostly but not 100% exclusively about Hunter. just all-around solid writing and characterization and tasty, tasty whump.

Imperfect Lock by Nosferatank is a tasty speculative biology fic about Hunter being a grimwalker that came out well before we had like, any info on that at all really, and still holds up very well, although of course we've learned some things since then!

Ortet by KomorebiPines is another speculative fic about the whole grimwalker clone thing that is just delightfully horrifying. non-canonical, but a tasty Silent Hill-esque vibe to it that i think makes it worth reading.

Stop Blubbering You Literal Baby by mandaree1 is a great little fic about How Hunter Got That Scar, featuring an interesting look into Kiki's take on the whole deal. physical abuse, some unkind behavior/victim-blaming from Kiki.

Confessional by VillainIHaveDoneThyMother is a haunting look into what might have happened if Hunter had gone back post-Hollow Mind. stupendously creepy behavior from Belos, intensely fucked up mindset from Hunter, all-around good stuff.

all of their stuff is good, but i also want to specifically mention A House On Actual Fire (Belos/Stanford Pines crackship, hilarious and delightful) (various types of implied abuse one of which i'm p sure is csa if you squint), Lay Leg O'er (what if Philip were a self-loathing evil slut?) (tons of internalized stuff and, as the tags say, Very Bad BDSM Etiquette), Yearling (Philip tries out being a wee haunted evil doll on one of his grimwalkers) (the concept is the entire warning i think), and Gold Foil (cute lil pre-Goldric!)

create in me a pure heart, o god by katrinasis is an excellent glimpse into Philip's twisted fucked up mindset with the whole, you know, constant cycle of cloning, abuse, and fratricide

But Before That, You'll Be a Doormat to Every vicious Narcissist in the World by Destinyllama is a fun look at various POVs post-Hollow Mind, getting into a lot of stuff about Hunter's whole situation. got all kinds of abuse, heavy on the cycles of fuckery, weird religious shit, Philip being messed up, and emotional incest.

what we are is the sum of a thousand lies by by elliptical is a HYSTERICALLY funny canon divergent au from s2e6 where Darius brings a wounded Hunter to Eda's house in the middle of the night because he doesn't have anywhere else to go, and they are both just very tired, very stressed, and very bitchy to each other. i adore this fic and its Eda voice SO MUCH

5 Easy Steps to Be a Cool Teen Rebel by verboseDescription is a very cute look at Hunter trying to individuate himself and find out just who he wants to be, ft Dadrius

A Quiet Valley by ConceitedDemon is a post-finale fic from Camila's pov about Witches Being Weird, it is cute and fun

hello my hollow Holofernes by TheAndersonRecord is an incredible and deeply haunting post-finale fic from Camila's pov that's largely about Hunter Having A Bad Fucking Time, evil goop uncle possession style, and you should all read it right now.

and then, of course, i write fic!

paint the blood is my take on the "Hunter in the Owl House" genre (graphic scene of physical abuse in first chapter, overall whump and trauma), Best-Laid Plans is a Babybel AU fic (past csa + physical and religious abuse, present-day torture and attempted sexual assault), Expectations is a post-canon Dadrius fic (past csa shown on-page), A Mutually Satisfactory Arrangement is for the Huntlow appreciators out there (past csa)

come up for air is a post-canon Raine And Hunter Have A Talk Fic (a talk about Hunter's csa and also a past abusive relationship Raine was in), every human touch is about Luz sneaking into the castle, running into Hunter, and witnessing something neither of them wanted her to (csa), and but he talks like a gentleman is a little canon divergent idea of What If Luz Ended Up Stuck In Philip's Time With Him In S2E12? (actually nothing bad happens in this one)

[justplainwhump]

@whumpmasinjuly Day 1: Re-Introduction

Hi there 👋 My intro has been a long while ago, and I don't even know what I said. So, time to do it again.

Me-

I'm Sara, she/her, German, and well in my thirties.

I've been a part of the whump community for three years give or take and I've made a bunch of wonderful friends here, as well as falling in love with even more stories and OCs.

My content-

Writing is my whump of choice, and if we're friends I might even be down to rp with you!

I have a bunch of series and collaborations with other writers, one story that is actually finished (Mark and Gemma get a pet) and one that has a satisfying cliffhanger and is almost finished (Shattered Diamonds). The others are also very good but might just never be finished.

Currently, I love torturing Dany, daughter of a mob boss fallen into mean people's hands in both canon and various AUs.

All links are in my pinned post.

This blog is 18+, even though not all of my content is nsfw. I like exploring dark themes, and I am an adult, so I wouldn't want minors following me.

My favourite tropes-

I love hurting ladies, because I'm into ladies. (Even though I don't think lady whump is a trope, still think my love for it needs to be mentioned.)

I enjoy creepy, intimate whumpers; whumpees messily dealing with the aftermath of trauma; whumpees finding the strength to survive in their core; caretakers who realize they might be failing; the bleak and mundane horrors of institutionalized whump; complicated human relationships, messy emotions and angst cranked up to 11.

Many of the stories I read and write contain noncon because I love the power dynamics this involves. I can also get into many BBU stories, where the dystopian nature of the system is explored.

My squicks-

I have no triggers, but I'm not much into stories that are very hopeless and bleak. Also, whumpees thinking they are deserving of the pain can squicks me. And, especially in noncon settings, but really in all of them, whumpee falling in love with whumper makes me nope out. Messy dependencies, manipulative whumpers, weird sense of being a team, omg, yes - but romance, big no.

My friends-

Everyone on the @whumpawoman discord server.

Biggest impact on my writing had @whumping-newbie and @hackles-up whom I owe so much motivation and happiness and amazing content!

Second @sableflynn @whumpopology @painful-pooch @for-the-love-of-nsfwhump @ocean-blue-whump are just amazing whump friends I've made here and great writers, too.

And last but not least, my absolute idols, @whump-tr0pes who showed me how great lady whump can be, @ashintheairlikesnow for what she does for this community, absolutely mind blowing content and the amazing worldbuilding work she invested in the BBU, and @just-horrible-things and @deluxewhump for their amazing series and character dynamics.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

re: your most recent post izaya is a pretty twink with an ego and veneer of composure and untouchability in addition to having a very dangerous occupation, an abundance of bad karma, and not that many people in his life who would care if something happened to him (haha… unless?) like i actually cannot think of a more suitable candidate for whump fiction than him 😭

(since its been a while: the context is izaya rape fics)

oh no i ABSOLUTELY understand the appeal and i even have one of my own cooking up in my Brain Meats, i just think its funny that EVERYONE instantly saw izaya and wanted this specific thing to happen to him even today, considering rape fics are kind of taboo to write about, like- people will DEMAND some kind of justification over why youre writing it if you do amything thats deemed Wrong such as show the rape happen, focus too much on it, focus too LITTLE on it, etc... rape is (understandably) touchy subject and it tends to get fandom in particular riled up because of the general puritanism going on

not to say that there arent wrong ways to handle a rape scene/rape fic- i heavily dislike rape as cheap drama, where it happens and is never brought up again in the fic, or leans too heavily into the ultra gratuitous- which is NOT the same as whump or extreme angst imo. theres a difference between a hyperfocus on the rape as a plot point and a way to dissect izayas character, which includes reactions to trauma which could include things like repeated breakdowns and things people deem "wangst," BUT the end goal is to portray what the author thinks would happen if izaya were to get raped

but things that just are gratuitous exist for no reason other to torture izaya- but wait, you might think, your icon is from "breaking izaya," famous Rape Doujin! whats the difference?

the difference is, rape porn knows its rape porn. it doesnt pretend to be an insightful, introspective look on rape or a rape aftermath. it's meant for weirdos with noncon kinks (read: me) to yank it to and markets itself as such. in a way, gratuitous whump fic is the written version of noncon doujin, kind of?

the line between "acceptable gratuitous" and "unacceptable gratuitious" is VERRRYYYYY blurred and can vary from person to person- for instance there are a lot of people who think noncon doujin shouldnt exist at ALL!

but yk there is a certain good and bad way to write about rape, but you... kind of only need to worry about that if you want your work to be a serious look on the subject. but there is a certain clumsy way to write even gratuitious sadiatic whump that ends up treating the subject matter with less weight than it deserves

what the fuck spurred this rant on lmao. i just have a LOT of thoughts on writing angst and whump as its Kind Of My Whole Thing as a writer- i write good angst and i'm known as The Angst Guy that WILL make you cry. and i have written rape into stories before! quite frequently actually, but not as explicit whump; more story beats that contribute to the backstory and current personality of the character. so i dont know much about rape whump in particular so i might be a bit off base here

anyway yeah uhhhhhhh rapefic rant. rape does not look like a real word anymore

[thethistlegirl]

1. What is something you wish you could change about your most recent fic/chapter?

2. Share a snippet of an old wip that you never posted.

5. What is something about your writing style that you think you could improve upon the most?

7. Best comment/tag/review you've ever gotten on a fic?

9. Share an off screen headcanon/scene for a fic of the asker's choosing (For the Roggenwolf fic and the WS AU)

Hmmm...I'd have to say just...fleshing it out more. It felt like it hit a stop point, and I didn't want to agonize over it too much before posting it, because I kind of already was, given that I was adding yet another fandom to the roster, but I think if I had it to do over, I'd take a little more time and see where I could add to the plot.

From that time I planned to write a sequel fic for the movie Monster Trucks, Ft. lots of found family and Dad Rick...and whump because ITS ME "Rick has seen the aftermath of a lot of fights. He’s seen drunken brawls at two a.m. at the Rusty Nail, he’s seen a few too many kids whose parents used them as a punching bag, and he’s even seen a guy who got mauled in a bear attack up in the mountains. But nothing has made him feel as sick to his stomach as opening that door to see his kid beaten and bleeding on the floor."

I think the thing I could improve most is probably my consistency. I have a lot of unfinished stuff, and I have a lot of slow WIPs, because I'm not good at carving out devoted writing time.

Best Comment...I wouldn't call this a comment exactly but the time someone on Tumblr was talking about an upcoming MacGyver episode with Murdoc and speculating he might be going with the "Most Dangerous Game" plot line because he had talked about it in the junkyard, and I went...wait...was that canon and NOPE it was Wunderkind.

WELL THE ROGGENWOLF THING IS OFFICIALLY AN OG PLOTLINE NOW, SO...mostly offscreen so far headcanon is that the scientists have definitely been kidnapping shapeshifters for a while and Matti is not the first they have set their sights on... and for the WS AU it's that Teddy doesn't often cook because of what convenient sharp knives means from his past.

Thank you for the ask!!!

[nimata-beroya]

2021 Fic in Review

I was tagged by nobody but I saw people doing this and I thought it'd be fun to recap my writing for this year 😁

Tagging: @photogirl894 @moonstrider9904 @mathmusic8 @ct-crosshair @webtrinsic1122 @thecoffeelorian @mistr3ssquickly @maiseey @triplerexthreat

Total Number of Fics: 14

Total Wordcount: 42113 words

Fandoms: Star Wars (Rebels: 3; TCW: 2; TBB: 7), ASOIAF: 1, Arrow: 1

Most Popular Fic (by bookmarks): Rough Awakening (54 bookmarks)

Most Popular Fic (by kudos): Rough Awakening (233 kudos)

Favorite Fic: Uff! Hard to choose because I'm pretty proud of what I wrote this year but I'm going with An Explosive Situation. It's short but has everything I like: whump, a pinch of angst, and another of fluff for my Star Wars OTP, Kalluzeb. What else could I have asked for? 😆 Besides, I wrote it pretty fast for my writing speed lately, and it signaled the comeback of my muse, which had abandoned me for a long time.

Below the cut there is a month-by-month fic timeline (with Author's commentary).

JANUARY

Road to Lira San (SW Rebels, T, Kalluzeb, 3.5k, WIP)

Agent Kallus never imagined that the day he gets stranded on the Genosian moon, Bahryn, with the Resistance Captain Garazeb Orrelios is the day he starts a journey to redemption. The path is not easy, full of risks, but it might be worth it when happiness such as Alexsandr has never known is waiting for him at the end.

I have so many ideas, full arcs and all, for this story but my muse is a little b*tch that do whatever it wants and decided to focus on chapters way ahead of the ones I should be working on (like chapter 2 for example 😩) so that's why I haven't updated in almost a year. I'm honestly considering turning this into a series and posting the chapters done in an out-of-order fashion. It frustrates me that I can't continue sharing this story that's so dear to my heart.

JULY

Rescue on Ryloth (TBB, T, 670 words)

The rescue of the Syndullas in Ryloth go differently than it was planned.

This is another one I wrote so incredibly fast. The leak of the promo for episode 12 sent me into such a frenzy, that all I could do was write this. It was a little wishful thinking thrown into the mix as well, an idea that it didn't come true of the Batch rescuing Cross. So now, it's a fix-it 😐

Rough Awakening (TBB, T, 9.3k, WIP)

The Batch finally rips Crosshair away from the Empire's clutches, but things don't go so smoothly once he's de-chipped.

This started as a prequel to another fic I was working on where Crosshair was already back with the Batch. I wanted to do a one-shot or 2-part fic about the rescue and the aftermath but me, being me, things spiraled out of control and we're 4 chapters in (working on the 5th!!), and it's barely now when the chip is being removed. I have come up with so many ideas for this story that it has gotten a life on its own, so I decided to abandon the first one and see where this fic takes me.

AUGUST

Not a Star Wars fic 😆

Haunted as Mare9548 (Game of Thrones/aSoIaF, T, Braime, 1.9k words)

Jaime knocks on Brienne's door at an unholy hour of the night. (Piece for Jaime x Brienne Fic Exchange 2021)

OCTOBER

This is when I did my Star Wars X-tober Extravaganza where I fulfilled various prompts for whumptober, angstober, flufftober, and angstober. That's why this was my most productive month of the year 😁

An Explosive Situation (SW Rebels, T, Kalluzeb, 1.9k)

After a solo mission to the planet Dela goes south, Kallus finds himself in a tight spot. The Spectres go to his rescue but the actual saving turns out more complicated than expected.

On An Adventure (TCW/TBB, Gen, 713 words)

The fluffiest fic I've ever written 🥺🥰

On a rare stormless night, 99 and Omega go for a little adventure.

Tomorrow Is A Good Day For Someone Else to Die (TBB, T, 1.152 words)

The life of Crosshair and Tech in Kamino as cadets has never been easy.

Claiming the Soldier (TBB, Explicit/Grapefruit, Wrecker x reader, 919 words)

Minors do not interact / Underage begone

You and Wrecker hit a life-changing milestone in your relationship.

Seeing Red (TBB, T, 1097 words)

The Bad Batch goes on their first mission to the battlefront. Things take a sudden turn south.

We Don't Leave Our Own Behind (TBB, T, 1.4k words)

Hunter respects Crosshair's choice not to join the batch again even if it's a karking ass-stupid decision. And yet, love, loyalty, and a tad of guilt —okay, okay… a lot of guilt— don't let him make the same mistake he did before, abandoning his brother.

•

Or the one where the batch goes back for Crosshair after leaving him stranded on the landing platform in Kamino.

Help, I'm Alive (SW Rebels, T, 1.5k, WIP)

Ezra had imagined many times that he’d die in the heat of a battle against the Empire; he’s had several close calls already. But never in his wildest dreams, he foresaw that his death would come when a temple fell on top of him.

I promise that I'll finish it, but can't say when 😓

3 Long Days (TCW, T, 1.5k words)

When Ahsoka falls ill, Anakin doesn't leave her side.

You're Still There, I Know (TCW, T, Foxiyo, 2.1k words)

Riyo feels like she lost the man she loves. If only Fox would talk to her and explain why.

My first Foxiyo fic!! This ship is so cute that I couldn't stop myself from writing them 😊

_____

Aaaaaaand another no Star Wars fic

Queen of Lions as @green-arrows-of-karamel (Arrow, T, Olicity, 14.1k, Discontinued)

The Fates have never been kind to her or her race. When the Greek goddesses designate Oliver Queen as her mate, Felicity can't believe it. Three weeks is all she has to decide to mate with him. If Felicity refuses him, she will condemn Oliver to a cruel fate. And hers won't be pretty either.

This fic stayed in my WIP folder for over 4 years until I saw a post promoting Good Intentions WIPs fest, which is an opportunity for writers to publish and let go fics that will never be finished. I took the chance to unburden myself from this story very dear to my heart (because it's about the otp I rooted for years and also because it's a crossover with one of my favorite book series) and share it with my old fandom.

[straight-to-the-pain]

Oh my god, who the fuck cares if writing torture is accurate or not? Sometimes I'm in the mood for accuracy, sometimes I'm in the mood for inaccuracies because I want specific things from my whump that accuracy sometimes can't provide. Whoever the fuck sent you those stupid anons are cowards, people who love to start drama for no other reason than they can. Don't pay them any mind, we, your actual friends, like you just the way you are, darling, never change. Love ya!

Thank you for your kind words! They mean a lot.

I should admit that what prompted the discussion in the first place was me reblogging a post and commenting that I generally strive to write accurate torture but I did also point out that I believe it’s important to understand reality if you want to break with it, so that’s what people are understandably responding to.

I do genuinely enjoy reading and learning about torture in a historical and political context, as well as how humans respond to pain and injury and I have to say that I know a lot more about bodies than minds, and I’m generally more interested in physical violence in my writing than complex emotions, especially in the aftermath of a traumatic event. I also feel that there’s a lot of whump that focuses on pain and trauma that isn’t the kind of outright torture that I know more about, and that feelings are a very personal thing so it’s hard to write them wrong. Different characters will react differently to different situations, and something I might not relate to might be accurate for someone else.

There’s also a certain joy in doing your research and using it, such as by adding specific historical details to a story or subverting a misconception or writing accurate medical treatment. I wrote a whole fic packed full of facts about the Colorado river delta and that was the most fun I’ve had in ages.

I also think it’s natural to have pet peeves in whump and specific tropes or concepts that bother us. I’m not trying to judge anyone for what they enjoy but I am passionate about clarifying certain pervasive misconceptions about torture that I hear often. It’s really easy to fall into certain ideas and myths because media is a powerful tool and I am also not immune to this, which is why I want to examine my own writing and consider where I’ve fallen into certain traps and where I am consciously choosing to stray from reality for the sake of whumperflies.

It is absolutely possible to enjoy something inaccurate and unrealistic and it is not my intention to make anyone feel judged for the whump they create. I’ve enjoyed a lot of films packed full of laughably unrealistic torture scenes but hey, we all have our guilty pleasures. What we enjoy in fiction absolutely does not have to reflect our morals and real life views, but there are tropes and stereotypes that can have a very real impact on how we consider reality and I believe that we should be aware of when we are knowingly discarding reality for fun.

I want to end by saying that I have never liked confessionals and I readily accept that I am not a perfect person, maybe not even a good person, but I haven’t committed any more wrongdoings than those who so desperately want to hold all of mine up to the light. I do enough introspection as it is, and advise you to do the same.