#the theory rn is panic attacks

[runescapegirlfriend]

i’ve been having a lot of health issues lately and it’s makin me go a lil silly

[exopelagic]

why do applications feel like your soul is being lightly roasted at 180C

[msmk11]

Everything to Everyone

James Potter x fem!reader

WC: tbh I don’t know, I just raw-dogged this in the app

CW: ANGST, HURT-COMFORT, panic attack, r is very sad and doesn’t take care of herself

Summary: you can’t keep doing this

A/n: Don’t know what this is; might be garbage; but this is just a reflection of my brain and my desperate need for someone like to james to comfort me rn; I need to be someone’s everything 😭

<>

It’s all too much, trying to be everything for everyone all of the time. It consumes you- the need to help others, to serve them in any way possible. To be their shoulder to cry on. The arms to hold them. The voice cheering them on. The hands to build them castles in the sky.

Perhaps it’s founded in your insatiable hunger to be well-liked, loved even.

Maybe it’s rooted in your fear that everyone will leave you, and that maybe maybe, if you try hard enough, they won’t.

Regardless of its cause, your involuntary obligation to others has pushed you to the edge, leaving you broken and exhausted. You want to cry out for help, for someone to notice, but they don’t. It’s not their fault. You know it isn’t. They can’t read your mind for goodness sake. But still, you wish they’d notice. To stop and think about you for a moment.

Today is no different, your list of promises to others longer than the one to yourself. Although it’s a Saturday, your day is jam packed with plans. First, you’ve promised Peter that you’ll make a quick trip with him to Hogsmeade this morning to pick up fire whiskey for the party tonight. After that you’re due for tea with Mary at Madame Pudifoots before you have to rush back to Hogwarts to meet Remus and Lily for a study session in the library. And fuck- at some point you’ll have to stitch up a hole in Marlene’s jersey and braid Sirius’ hair for the game. And the game. You’ve promised James, your lovely boyfriend and captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, that you’ll be there. He needs his “lucky charm.”

You’re down in the common room at 10 on the nose, sleep still heavy on your eyes despite the time. Peter ambles down the stairs a few minutes later, his big jacket wrapped tightly around him.

The cold air outside is bitter on your nose and burns your cheeks. You bundle your face further into the collar of your coat and wish you would’ve worn a scarf. As you walk, Peter yaps on to you about the girl from his Divination class that he has a crush on. You’re enthusiastic that he has a crush, and that he feels comfortable enough to share it with you, but your heart hangs heavy in your chest regardless. You can’t quite muster up the genuine smile you usually give to everyone, and instead settle for a dim but encouraging one.

After you triple check that Peter can carry all of the fire whiskey back to the castle, you trudge across the way to Madame Pudifoots. Mary is already nestled into a corner when you arrive and she waves brightly at you. While the warmth of the shop and your friend is welcome, the thick perfume in the air and the sweet array of biscuits and cookies makes your head ache and stomach churn. Much like Peter, the brunette does most of the talking, catching you up on gossip around the castle. You give a lot of dramatic gasps, wide eyes, and giggles, but they’re as fake as the flowers on the table before you.

By the time you arrive to the library with what feels like a whole ton of books slung over your shoulder, you think you could drop dead from exhaustion. You find Lily and Remus in a heated discussion about some charms theory and wonder if they’d even notice if you slipped out. Of course, Lily catches your eye in the next second and waves you over. She quickly brings you into the debate, and you give the redhead your two cents. Your opinion, it seems, sets off a whole other conversation. Luckily, this time, you can just tune them out, instead focusing on the words of the book before you. Although now that you’re looking at it, all of the words seem to be swimming together in a blurry mess. And, is that a wet spot on the page? Are you crying? You reach up and, sure enough, another hot tear trails down your face. Panicked, you bend down under the guise of tying your shoe and wipe them away quickly. Remus and Lily can’t see you crack. They can’t.

You know that it’s all really getting to you when Sirius lets out more than one yelp as you do his hair. He complains that you’re going to pull it all out, and perhaps he isn’t wrong. You loosen your grip slightly but wince when you brush over one of the fresh cuts on your hands from sewing up Marlene’s jersey. The bandaid covers the cut, but doesn’t dull the slight throbbing pain in your palm. The pain and Sirius’ whining makes you want to yell at him and tell him to do it himself. But you don’t, and instead stay quiet. When his hair is finished, you peck his forehead in apology and boost his vanity.

“Oi, Black! Trying to steal my girl, are you?”

You nearly start bawling on the spot at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Relief and calm wash over you as you feel his strong arms wrap around you. Instinctively, you lean back into his chest and sigh, closing your eyes.

You’re certain that Sirius and James are bantering back and forth some more but you tune them out in favor of enjoying the vibrations of your boyfriend’s voice through his chest. It’s pleasant enough that you think you could fall asleep.

You’re only startled out of your stupor when James’ soft lips press gentle kisses to each of your eyelids. Your eyes flutter open and you smile at him softly.

“Hi angel,” he greets, pecking your lips.

You return the kiss eagerly and James chuckles.

“Ready for the game tonight?”

You’d forgotten about the game momentarily, but now it comes rushing back. The thought of having to do anything else besides just lay in your boyfriend’s arms makes you want to cry. You swallow the lump in your throat, “of course, Jamie. And I’ll have your jersey on like usual.”

He gives you another quick peck, “my lucky charm.”

And then he’s moving away from you, far too fast for your taste, and you nearly whine. He collects his water and broom and turns back to you with a grin.

“See you at the game, love.”

You only whisper out a goodbye before he’s gone.

The game has been going on for far too long and you’re beginning to lose all feeling in your extremities. Like usual, James is playing great. And you’re proud of him, you really are. But you don’t want to be here anymore. You just want to lay in your bed and close off the world, rotting away in a puddle of self-induced misery.

But this fact in itself makes you feel worse than you already do. The guilt of it all- of being fake, insecure, and unsupportive- is eating you alive. Your friends deserve better. James deserves better.

It’s too much, too much, too much. And you feel like you’re suffocating.

So you’re beyond relieved when Gryffindor catches the snitch and you can leave. Though you normally stay to congratulate James, you don’t have it in you to do it. You figure you’ll see him later, so you rush back to the castle, trying to escape the notice of your friends.

While your bed calls to you most, living in a dorm doesn’t promise any privacy. So you go to the only place you know will- the room of requirement.

It accommodates you enough. The room has shifted into a remarkable replica of your bedroom back home. You collapse onto the bed instantly and your head barely hits the pillow before the sobs you’ve choked back all day finally escape you.

It’s like a dam breaking loose, a flood of emotions overcoming you. Sadness smashes into you like waves, guilt grips your throat tightly, choking you, anger heats your face, and self-loathing broils in your stomach. You can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t, can’t.

Why, why, why, why, why?

You’re so tired of giving, giving, giving. Being everything to everyone and nothing to yourself. Your body is a storm of emotions but your heart is the eye of the hurricane- silent and hollow.

You curl in on yourself, grabbing onto your legs tightly, trying to grip any sense of reality you have left. But your body shakes and your hands slip. It does little to ground you and you’re lost in another dimension, another reality. You can’t breathe, nothing feels real, and the world feels like it’s ending.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, everything, everything, everything.

“Angel, you gotta breathe for me.”

A voice breaks through your fog but you can’t focus in on what it’s saying.

“Baby, my love, look at me. You gotta take a breath.”

Through your shaking and tears you barely make out James’ figure. And when your eyes clear a little you see his eyes. It’s the first real thing you sense again, and you grasp onto it desperately. His hazel eyes stare at you, so calmly, and you get lost in them.

“Angel can you take a deep breath?”

You try to breathe but fail, only spluttering out short, shallow breaths.

“Not quite, my love. Here, match my breathing.”

James grabs your hand and puts it on his chest. You feel him breathe in deeply and hear him blow air past his lips.

“Like this.”

Still shaking aggressively, you try to inhale. Your breath is harsh and unstable, but at least longer and deeper. You purse your lips and blow, just like James does.

“That’s my girl. You’re doing it.”

You continue to breathe in and out. Each time, your breath slowly gets better. Stronger.

“Good, good. Can you tell me what happened?”

You try to think about all that’s happened and your breathing picks back up again. Tears prick at your eyes and you shake your head.

“No, no, no. It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m sorry, we won’t talk about it.”

Your body trembles and you nod appreciatively.

“Do you want a hug?”

“Y-yeah.”

You’re too weak to move towards him, so James reaches out and draws you into his lap. You bury your face in his chest and grip onto his jersey sleeves tightly. His hands rub soothing circles on your back, soft, slow, and repetitive. He intermittently places kisses to your hair, mumbling words of praise and encouragement in between.

The world starts to come back to you.

The soft sounds of James’ breathing and the whoosh of your shirt material under his hand.

His smell, a mixture of cologne and sweat.

His hot breath on your ear as he whispers to you.

His red jersey smushed against your face.

The remnants of your salty tears on your lips.

“I- I can’t keep doing this,” you mumble out. It’s barely audible, your voice hoarse from your meltdown.

“What’d you say, angel?”

“I can’t keep doing this, Jamie.”

He pulls you away from his chest and looks deeply into your eyes, his own so filled with concern.

“You can’t keep doing what?”

“Being everything to everyone all of the time. I- I can’t. It’s too much. I give and help and say yes when I can’t. But, but I can’t do it anymore.”

“Oh, my love,” James sighs, hugging you impossibly tighter, “you don’t have to, not anymore. You don’t have to be anything to anyone besides yourself. They’ll love you regardless. I promise.”

“But what if they don’t?” You whisper, your voice thick with tears.

“I’ll love you regardless. You’re my light, my love, my life just because you’re you.”

He pauses thoughtfully.

“You don’t need to be everything to everyone when you’re already everything to me. And hopefully soon, you can be everything to yourself.”

[typing-catastrophe]

mabel and dipper's life after getting back home (random headcanons)

mabel forces dipper into improving his hygiene because she doesn't want him to be bullied in school for it

the twins make sure they get into the same classes/courses every year because they can't bear to spend that time apart

dipper spends his time in class writing a journal of his own, but passes every class with the highest grade anyway (and ford is very proud of him)

mabel spends classes doodling and struggles sometimes, but dipper is always there to help her out with anything she doesn't understand

both dipper's writing and mabel's drawings are mainly their summer adventures at first

after that dipper indulges in findings and theories of their own

both twins develop insomnia after weirdmageddon and sneak out quite frequently

they don't necessarily do anything they are forbidden from, sometimes they just go and sit somewhere like they did on the roof of the shack

it's not long after they get back from gravity falls that their parents announce they're getting a divorce and actually spend the summertime living separately

dipper regularly turns his wall into a huge 'clue board', with the red string and all (he uses every occasion to do that, even if it's not a mystery or even necessary at all)

both fill their room with lots of trinkets; mabel starts collecting figurines, keychains and buttons (and keeps collecting stickers), dipper collects enamel pins

both acquired a set of certain skills from their time in gravity falls, that come in quite handy sometimes not to say they sneak and break into some places frequently, but... ya'know

mabel starts gambling with other students and nobody knows how and when she got so good at it. she never uses her powers for evil but she will play robin hood (the money of bullies will end up in the hands of poorer kids with no lunch money)

anytime someone mentions unicorns or how mabel used to love them, she will wrinkle her nose and refuses to talk about them

dipper will often have moments where he thinks he sees someone from gravity falls and almost calls out for them, when he realises that it is someone else. it gets particularly bad when an older ginger student starts at their school

he also sometimes thinks he hears bill and gets a little paranoid, the only one who can help him not spiralling into a panic attack on a bad day is mabel

mabel refuses to do arts and crafts with triangles fro a while, until she decides bill won't ruin her favourite activities and the spite helps her not being too paranoid about it

-------------------------------------------------- thank you for reading <3 reblogs are appreciated

a/n: i could go on for a while longer, but i think i'll stop here and put more into another post; also i need to articulate them better than i am capable rn so stay tuned if you want to see more of these as well as for other characters and gf in general :D (i already have more on the way)

[sm-baby]

My brain has been going brrr with thoughts rn about the fight, like I have pre written speeches to tell y’all but u won’t since my brain barely function, but I’m just feeling like this right now

Me, knee deep in both theories and actual coding shit to try and piece together who would realistically win:

“But that’s just a THEORY.”

*is inactive so long writing that frown has panic attack*/hj

“A GAME THEORY!”

I READ YOUR POST IT WAS SO SCRUMPTIOUS

[sugarywishes]

Could you go a bit more into your plans and the role of Elizabeth & Even in the future of your AU? I'm curious to learn a bit more about how their respective roles change things, as well as how it will end up playing out with Micheal & William also involved on the whole...

Of course! Answers below as usual.

So I'm trying really hard to not fully expose every detail of the Security Breach portion of this rewrite, but the gist of it is Glitchtrap/William, and the Afton kids return for a grand finale! And unfortunately Gregory, Vanessa, and GlamFred have to be in the middle of it all. (Which means HW 2, Secret of the Mimic or whatever games they'll be making in the future will likely not be added to this thing, unless I really like it but it's likely I won't lmao) (RUIN-ED is in a complicated situation in this rewrite, it's technically now an AU spinoff, that's not canon to the security breach section but is still related to it, but I'm over complicating things here, I'll explain it in other post!)

And as some of you know in this section of the rewrite/AU, Glitchtrap will use Gregory as a replacement body for Evan to inhabit to come back to Earth, and boy are they BOTH upset about this! (My Security Breach portion will include Gregory's family, the Casas, and they'll get a chance to interact with Evan a lot too, since they don't know that Gregory's kind of being possessed rn)

Speaking of the Casas, EVERYONE in that family serves as a 'mirror' to the Aftons (that does not mean they share the same personalities or anything, they're just the counterparts for story telling purposes, and I mean VERY important story telling purposes!) Julian is the 'William', Rebecca is the 'Clara', Gregory is the 'Evan', and Monica is the 'Michael'. You may notice that Elizabeth wasn't included in the line up (originally, before RUIN-ED came out, there were many theories that Cassie could be Gregory's twin sister and I was ALL for it because then I could finally have Lizzie have her own Casas counterpart, and then turns out she wasn't related to him, so I had to rewrite things unfortunately 😔) So now, VANESSA is the Elizabeth counterpart.

Going back to Evan, he HATED coming back, when he did originally wake up in Gregory's body, he had a full blown panic attack and was horrified by his surroundings, cause yk he was freaked out by Glitchtrap, an 8 foot tall gay ass bear, a white woman and a teenage girl who looked too similar to his brother whom he only remembers MURDERED HIM, that can really overwhelm someone! (Btw, Mike had been fully anticipating his father's return, but he didn't think Evan and Elizabeth would come back because he thought they moved on, they definitely did not!)

After a whole rescue operation (and losing someone during it, not a death though.) Gregory/Evan will go through a lot of trials and tribulations through family matters and trauma. Again, I'm trying not to spoil a lot about this section since it's pretty crazy, but they do become friends! They will be each other's first ever friends, actually, since Cassie won't be in this rewrite. SORRY ☹️ she will be important in the RUIN-ED AU/spinoff though! (Yk the one with the stupid ass kids/ocs)

For Elizabeth, she will end up attempting to possess Vanessa (although it was not part of William's original plan, and who knows? It could work.) I really want to say more details but I must restrain myself from doing so. She will be an antagonist along with Will, she's gonna cause some evil shit, and she'll get a redemption arc because it's what she deserves! (Yk after she learns her lesson) And there is actually a reason why she and Evan even have relationships with the MCI/KCI kids, even if Liz didn't actually meet them when she was still Baby. Let's just say, the afterlife prison for her was not cool! Thank goodness she managed to escape too.

And yeah, tons of Afton family drama is relevant in this too, it intertwines with the Casas family own trauma.

I'd really like to discuss more about what exactly will happen, believe me. But I'm saving all that for when I get to it! (And also because, I'm still working on it!)

[orphicwitt]

thank you very much, now some anguish, where as the second part of Cat Reader, where after the hour of joy, the reader became an ally of Kissy Missy and Poppy, Reader sees the Player as his son, since in the hour of joy, the 3 baby kittens were killed by CatNap and fed to Picky Piggy, (since I have a theory that CatNap killed all of the Smiling Critters and gave them to Picky Piggy where she eats the corpses)

Note; So sorry if this is so late, i was under the weather and got cooped with works rn i have time to write this! trigger warning; gore?, blood, Death of 3 children mascot, eating the mentioned children.

Grief and yearning. [pt2 of this]

Catnap was acting so strange these past few weeks, you thought. he didn't play with the kittens as often as he used to does and seem to be more distant then ever.

all the critters think he had changed too and you're not the only one that notices his strange and changing behavior.

recently, you been on edge due to the dread feeling you gotten during these days, furs raising up. you were obviously stressed but you have to kept a calm demeanor for your babies.

then came, hours of joy. You vividly remember the staff agonying scream, the smell of fresh blood spilled. You were seperated from all your fellow mascot in a fit of panic.

They... the mascot... your friend... they are not acting the same! they seem to be controlled by something or someone, you thought.

then you realise, your kittens... your precious babies is missing! more dread and panic settled in the pit of your stomach as you frantically search for your beloved babies.

the distress mewl and cries made you perked up, it was the sound of your babies being hurt or even worse...attacked, wasting no time, you rushed to the noise.

only to see a scene you oh so wanted to forget so badly the moment you lay eyes on it.

catnap was holding the 3 kittens of yours, blood on his paws, their blood on his paws. he slowly lay them down and nudge them to pickypiggy.

the pig mascot was crying, blood all smeared onto her furs and face, you could hear the sound of chewing and meat being ripped apart.

pickypiggy was muttering the same phases over and over as she ate your babies as you watch in the distant away from view to avoid being seen with widen eyes. "I-i'm so sorry... I'm so sorry... i'm just ...so so...hungry" yet despite saying that she continue to devour the helpless dead body of your once alive kittens without hesitation.

Not able to bear watching this anymore, you ran and ran far away from the area and where the massacre is happening. the critters, although you knew this is not how they act.

you couldn't trust them anymore.

so you hid away until the hours of joy is done and over, then years passed with you aimlessly wandered within the playcare where your babies has been killed.

however during that time, you met poppy and kissy missy, learned the existence of the first attempted creation. the prototype, wanting to end his reign and to atleast avenge your babies, you agreed to be an ally.

then the player came, Poppy send you out to be an temporary helper to the player, the more time you spend with them, something inside you clicked the moment you saw them nearly got killed by huggy wuggy.

You helped them to defeat huggy wuggy and mommy long legs, you sworn to protect them at all cost.

were you clinging onto them out of grief for your lost dead children? yes, you were aware. you just... had a hard time cooping after since that day and couldn't simply moved on.

you also sworn to make catnap pay the prices for your dead kittens.

He will pay

no matter what

[wadesprincessboy]

Just had the worlds worst conversation with my mother (under cut)

Tw: rape, CSA, vent

So, I mentioned my fear of sharing a room with someone right? And my mum asks me why im scared of that, and i share that its because im constantly afraid of the other person raping me in my sleep, or otherwise assaulting me sexually. And i thought this was a normal-ish fear right? Like everyone is super hyper vigilant about sexual assault right? But my mum said thats actually really concerning, and asked if anyone has ever assaulted me, to which i said no, not to my knowledge. Anyway this lead to a conversation about how im constantly terrified, how any time a man walks past i shiver and think that this might be it, that he might grab me and rape me, how i cant go out early in the morning or late at night because im scared something will happen, how i cant get close to people physically because they might touch me inappropriately, and how i dont have sleepovers at friends houses because im scared. And my mother asked me questions about it, and she got really worried, and i said "but its fine, if someone raped me as a kid i would remember it", and I thought shed agree but instead she brought up how she was raped at age 4 and didnt remember until she was 20 and reading a book about CSA. And then I remembered a few books i tried reading, and how i couldnt get past where they mention/imply CSA because it made me panic. And i asked my mum if i showed signs of it as a kid, and she said yes, but i was so emotionally dysregulated because of the other abuse, not to mention undiagnosed autism, that it was impossible to tell, and that wouldve made me a perfect victim. I said theres no way because i wasnt around any pervy men, and while my dad was pure evil, he wasnt that evil, and anyway he has so many kids that someone wouldve said something by now, right? Well, he had no contact with any of his kids except me and one of my half sisters, and both of us have always been alike in our behaviour, and my sister used to beat me up, but she would kick me in the privates because "no one would check there" and now i think of it, how did she know that? How did she know to attack me there at such a young age? But then again, she couldve come into contact with plenty of men i didnt. Theres no way that happened to me, right? And i tell my mother this, and she said maybe, but then she brought up my asexuality and what ive told her about my experience with sex, and she said she was concerned even with that but now with the other stuff shes really worried, and she says i should talk to my counsellor about it, because she knows she wouldnt be clear headed enough to help me considering her personal history and the fact that well, shes my mum. But then i thought more about what ive said about being ace, and how i do experience attraction and i like the idea of sex in theory but the thought of being touched makes me feel sick, and i have nightmares about the time i had sex, despite it being fully consensual and the fact that in the moment i loved it, and when i am reminded of sex i feel physically ill, and apparently thats not being ace, that's something much more concerning? Not to mention the fanfic i used to write, where every self insert i had would always be sexually abused, despite me supposedly never being abused in that way myself. And i have nightmares all the time about being raped, but i put that down to watching too much svu. Also, tmi but like, i cant even pleasure myself without feeling violently ill and sobbing because i hate sexual acts so much....all of this is to say, i dont fucking remember if anything ever happened to me, but i do know i have forgotten other traumatic moments, and that scares the shit out of me. Im 100% not ok rn, and i cant think of anything else other than i mightve been assaulted as a child and i dont remember it. I really hope not, obviously. I dont see my counsellor for another two weeks and idk who to talk to about this. I bet none of this made sense, i just needed to get it off my chest. Im scared and worried, because what if my biggest fear already happened and i didnt know it?

[secriden]

This is going to be a long ask. I am here to shamelessly promote my beloved JoongDunk. I hope you are having as much fun discovering them as I did.

For JoongDunk content recommendations, I would like you to check out their two personal projects written and directed by Joong himself.

The first is the MV for the Last Twilight OST.

https://x.com/dunknatachai/status/1767516781617496348?t=mJKtoNOtqbXkskp-75IauQ&s=19

Joong loved this song so much that he just had to shoot an MV for it.

The second one is the short film POCONG.

https://x.com/dunknatachai/status/1851945210722554274?t=0J8gHh8D4oFKzvPihGmBag&s=19

They made this short film for Halloween this year.

Both of these are made entirely on JoongDunk's own initiative. Joong was the one who came with the ideas and Dunk, as he often does, wholeheartedly supported Joong and helped bring his ideas to life. I find it very endearing that they took time out of their busy schedules to make these projects for their fans. I also find it endearing that they roped in their friends and family to help make these projects. They put in a lot of effort to do their best with tbe limited time and resources they had. I hope you enjoy watching them.

;A; oh my gosh anon, thank you!?! i'm loving discovering them so so much (the timing is slightly unfortunate as this week i have to write ~6000 words on education theory and practice + work but i called in sick today so i'm pacing myself and also comforting myself with consuming joongdunk content rn ^w^;;)

[ the joongdunk MV for Last Twilight ]

oh god this is... this is breaking my heart. the utterly adorable snippets of them just being cute in disneyland?? did this start out as an elaborate excuse to go on a date and film themselves? idk but i'm not complaining.

the constant hand feeding ugh. why is food such a universal and yet visceral love language?? how is it always effective. the cheek kisses. the head pats. the dancing and twirling. the teasing each other. its all so like... that phase of the relationship where everything the other person does is magic and you are just so happy being around them and scenes they shot captured it beautifully (and setting it in Disneyland??? the automatic shorthand that brings for 'magic' and 'fairytale' and 'dreams coming true' such a great idea.)

i had to look up the lyrics and the song is so good??? "The last image I'll remember is when we were together" is such a fire lyric like it has the double meaning of the last thing i remember of you was when we were still happy together as well as the last memory that will play in my mind before i die will be of you. which is. devastating.

but then. good god the crying scenes?? wtf??? i have re-watched dunk's breakdown as he's leaning against the pillar about 7 times now. the way you can see the sobs wrecking his frame. you can *hear* the wet gasps he's taking in through his tears. what a stunning performance.

[ Halloween short film POCONG ]

ok i'll be the first to admit that i am a Wimp (yes, with a capital W, i avoid horror and anything with horror like the plague because it tends to stay with me for ages). so i'm going to watch this but like.......... in tiny (as in the screen is going to be shrunk down because its less scary that way.) xD

ok fuck that was terrifying. i'm never seeing it again. it was impressively horrifying despite it evidently not being a professional production.

the blood was surprisingly realistic?? i feel like i've seen a lot of amateur productions (at school) and the fake blood is always really obvious. the mummy was also a very scary take on it; the way you can see how tightly the fabric is tied/woven around the humanoid figure and how thick it is, like someone suffocated in it. the sound design. *shudders* the whole panic/asthma attack and then when dunk starts breaking down/sobbing especially. fucking nightmares - i'm going to go listen to the Last Twilight OST again to cleanse my ears.

also, i almost feel like both productions were, particularly, a chance for dunk to really show his range. like joong may be producing this but its also very clearly a celebration of dunk's acting talent and i love that.

i really see what you mean about it being endearing that they'll do something like this. it definitely gives us insight into what they value as creatives and its an incredible treat that they chose to share it with the fans and also support each other in it. i wonder if joong has director/producer aspirations? it'd be interesting to see where his career takes him down the line. i was looking at MDL and was kind of shocked at how many shows he was in in 2022 alone given that was like... right after covid restrictions were easing. man took every chance he got to get back into the field and that's really impressive.

[bonesandthebees]

Chapter 23:

More of Tommy being tense, which is why he snaps so fast at Jack where he otherwise might have stayed calm(er). It shows how much he’s hiding how he truly feels and how stressed he is. He’s probably also angry in general, but he can’t really fight Clara. He can, however, fight Jack when he becomes the focus of his anger.

Wilbur and Niki’s truce is also a lot of fun. It’s this limbo of ‘we want to be friends, but our best friends are fighting and we both no now what side we’ll be on when the battle comes, but we’ll stay together at the sidelines for as long as we can’. Wilbur keeping a mental score to keep it even is fun too.

And poor Phil, he’s dealing with so much shit and most Deathlings don’t even know about half of it. Every time Phil has to step in you realise just how young all these characters are. They are basically children and it feels like the teacher having to step in during a playground fight.

Tommy’s frustration at Sam for not being able to fix his lungs is both because that’s what he blames for getting cursed (via the stuttering getting him caught by the police) and because he’s probably afraid that it’ what’ll end up killing him. Also, he’s still mad about the cafeteria confrontation and Sam is not helping (because he’s still mad at the Pythia for trying to exploit Tommy’s lungs (and angry at himself for accidentally giving him that information))

I already send a different ask talking about the Tattoo, but I still love it. I just love how excited both Wilbur and Niki are about it. It’s currently still their little secret (did Wilbur tell Tommy this chapter?). Anyway, it’s just cute friendship moments even when the house is burning down around them and I like how considerate they are of each other.

Also, Wilbur asked Niki to call him by the name she knows him once during a panic attack, and then didn’t realise she would take that a confirmation that she can now always use it when it’s just the two of them. In Wilbur’s defensie he wasn’t thinking much at all. Also, he’s not telling her to stop, because he actually likes it.

Then there’s Wilbur and Tommy being invited to go along for the next meeting. More food for the theory. Also, giving that Tommy’s now cursed there’s no reason to bring him if they don’t need him. Though my theory is that they just need Wilbur, but know they can’t just leave Tommy behind for both of their comforts. Wilbur will feel safer if Tommy’s there and Tommy will want to be there. (And maybe, subcontiously, they don’t want to leave the boys behind since last time was a disaster.) Also, Wilbur is about to get a lot of questions he doesn’t really want to answer even though he does want the government gone.

And lastly, Tommy asking if Wilbur’s ever been able to change a vision and the answer being no. First of all, we get the usual ‘Wilbur shoving that crisis away for another time’. Secondly, is this confirmation that he literally can’t change the future? Like I think I’ve thrown that theory around and I’ve definitely seen other anons mention it, but this sorta feels like proof. A small piece of the Puzzle at least.

Oh I almost forgot: Tommy is getting so much joy from Wilbur finally getting mad at Clara and shit talking the government and what was done to him. Tommy has been waiting for this for soooo long and it’s finally happening.

-🌲

yuppp even if tommy is doing a good job at hiding it he's really stressed about the whole being cursed thing, and it manifests in some ugly ways like we see with jack. jack antagonizing him just gives him a place to direct his fear and anger

wilbur and niki are walking on a tightrope rn between their two best friends and their friendship with each other it's very fun to balance

phil is so fucking tired someone get this man an advil and a beer

yeah tommy's anger towards sam is more related to his own frustration with his lungs and the limitations his own body keeps giving him, and how that's nearly caused his death twice now and it very well could be the reason he dies for real. the fact that sam wronged wilbur in the past though and is still being a bit of a dick to him only adds fuel to the fire

I love the tattoo scene it's a very sweet private thing between wilbur and niki right now :) I'm gonna have to go back and check but I'm fairly sure wilbur hasn't mentioned it to tommy. he will eventually of course. but for right now it's just his and niki's thing

yeah even though he didn't realize niki would take that as blanket permission (and a part of niki knows it wasn't blanket permission he was giving her but she wants to use his name and figures he can tell her to stop if he doesn't like it) he's very relieved she did. that way he doesn't have to voice wanting her to call him by his name again, because if she had called him the pythia in that scene he probably would've been freaking out a bit more

at this point wilbur and tommy are a package deal and phil and techno know that lmao

tommy was literally just watching wilbur rant internally thinking FINALLY HE'S NOT BEING A DUMBASS THANK FUCKING GOD HE GETS IT

[erotomanicpixiedreamgirl]

Hi !!

What dont you like about SSRI's? Just curious :)

I used to take effexor and was thinking of going back to it

ive been on every single one and they didn’t help with my depression or panic attacks. but honestly effexor worked in giving me energy and motivation. it eventually waned off after three months on it or so. but ultimately the long list of side effects is why i dislike them so much as well as it being as effective as the placebo effect. and also the way doctors peddle them like candy rn since SSRI’s are not old enough to know the long term effects on them. but truly any psych medication is like that. we only have theories to why they work for some people, why they do nothing for others, and why they make some people worse. but if they work for you then do what’s best.

[dhmisreolrants]

Pspspsps hey i'm the anon that asks about histories and just uses too many words to request something simple

I've seen some post of you where you talked about how you we're working on some digitaltime angst and the curiosity is KILLING ME RN

SOOO can you tell us a little bit about this Au of yours because I just love hearing people rant about those two (*And slowly killing them but don't tell anyone*)

OOHHH YESSS- i'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK MORE ABOUT IT BUT MY SHYASS THINKS IT WOULD BE MUCH A BOTHER BUT OH IM GLAD YOU ASKED (long rant warning ough) VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

This au has been a bit delayed because of other stuff, But im still working on it;

It's basically a "Past Life" AU, Where it came out from a theory i had about maybe the teachers too having a past life and such- It is mostly focused on memories and flashbacks, Sometimes even stories about the past life they had before becoming puppets, While just uncovering it again with some triggers mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes depression

Simple explanation of how Ton and Colin feel and act in the au: lots of ✨depression✨, Comfort fluff and your normal uhhh.... making Colin have a panic attack because remembering stuff literally HURTS him

More better explanation: They all start just slowly remembering stuff by one of those hurting memories episodes Colin has, Which Ton try comforting him all night until he finally gets some rest. They all just start noticing that specific triggers specific emotions, And if the trigger that is making Colin even get hurt from just- trying to remember who he where in the past- Stuff just starts to get even more bad from now on because it can hurt then too without any fixing ehEHehh "Which characters most suffer?"... obviously Colin and Ton <3 Also Ton's trigger mostly is specific to the future (take that motherfuc-), He is fine remembering PAST, Even if it makes him feel a bit hurt, But thinking of what even the future could now have for him now that he knows whatever the thing he is now is not what he truly is feels like a knife in his brain and heart~ I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO RANT ABOUT THIS AU BUT I THINK ITS A BIT ENOUGH FOR NOW-

[lovebugsins]

i don’t want to leave you hanging but i’m fighting a migraine rn so i’ll let the thots stew over in my dreams. how do u feel about intox and alcohol btw -n

oh no! definitely prioritise fighting the migraine, I know how disorienting they can be!

i drink fairly frequently, especially socially, so a-okay. intox yes but only in theory. I don't react well irl to drugs. got stoned once and felt like I was in a hallucination, then hallucinated The Shadow Man in my peripheral, then nearly had a panic attack lmao. but until the shadow man it was nice!

[sskk-ao3feed]

the five stages of grief don't account for the theory and application of alternate universe contingency plans

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/5AFIYhd by postcardorigami -which is, to atsushi, a major oversight "What-,” Atsushi begins, throat dry at the prospect of watching Akutagawa walk away from him. He can’t name the emotion that builds in his chest, only that he thinks it might feel like watching him die all over again, and he’s not keen to relive that experience any more than he already does. He already sees it every time he closes his eyes. “What are you going to do now?” He buried Akutagawa—his Akutagawa, the one that had tried so hard to keep his promise even with his body stolen from him—with his own hands, not two hours ago. Dirt still crusts beneath his fingernails—he’d clawed away the soil bare-handed, sight blurry as he’d cradled a thin, sickeningly peaceful corpse and lowered him into the grave, alone. No one had offered to come with him, not that he would have allowed anyone to. or: atsushi's just taking everything one step at a time, and that means accepting that his new partner and his old are not the same man Words: 5427, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Categories: M/M Characters: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) Relationships: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Bungou Stray Dogs: BEAST Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, yeahhhh canon aku is gone im sorry he's not coming back, but you can have some proxy budding codependency instead, Alternate Universe Selves, Grief/Mourning, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, Bittersweet Ending, like for real yall akutagawa bsd is dead and not coming back, basically my worst nightmare for asagiri to make canon, anyway petition for asagiri to bring back aku for realsies, No beta we die like Odasaku, i wrote this in like a day dont at me, non graphic sexual content, Implied Sexual Content, Panic Attacks, maybe sleeping with the au version of your partner is a bad idea, mayhaps even an Unhealthy Coping Mechanism, but i think they can be allowed it for rn read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/5AFIYhd

[cinhomi]

HI RORA I sent you an ask yesterday about how apparently my ask did not get eaten, just my notifs cause i have your notifs on and tumblr never sent the notif about the ask that got answered-

and then tumblr ate that ask. how ironic.

anyways yes! I am so sorry that I've been inactive sending asks, I got a nasty cough and have been coughing my lungs out for the past few days 💀 it's much better now tho! hope uni has been treating you well (on the other hand here uni can eat my ass-)

yeah small update on moot guy: well a few days ago he said that he'd be occasionally online if he had time to reply to me, and then today he sent me this really long message about how he'd be helping out with his prof and his prof would teach him stuff, so he'd be really busy and he was sorry that he'd be leaving me with nothing. said he'd be thinking of me a ton no matter what. I sent a really short answer bc I wasn't sure what to say. he apologized again and said he was sorry and please don't be mad...I think he's having a panic attack as he posted on his blog. 💀💀 I love him and I wish this isn't ending this way but god if this shit isn't tiring atop my already very loaded plate. at the end, I'm a girlie who believes firmly in equal standing, so there's no point if he'll be gone, I guess. if he won't reach out, then I won't come back.

anyways, enough sad updates here! (skzflix broke my goddamn heart) aside from skz, who's your favourite musical artist? I'm curious 👀

- titracha nonnie :3 (literally copying this ask rn in case tumblr eats it again 😩) (second time sending this ask help)

hi sweetie! I did imagine you sent something but it disappeared again, happy to receive your asks again and to know that you're doing better now 😊 and yeah, I got this one twice but it happens often, don't know why! tomorrow I'll take a day to stay home and work on some projects so hmm it's kicking me hard and it hurts but I'll get through it in a way or another :)

I understand caring about someone and all but we all have limits. you're right and you have to treat yourself like you deserve and yes, we have to respect others but when things get to the point where we are stressed/sad/anxious because of a situation we're in it's time to slow down or stop. it's exacly what you said at the end, "if he won't reach out, then I won't come back" you got straight to the point. I'm sorry this is happening... I already said that I've been in the same situation (more or less, maybe a bit more intricate) and it's a saddening experience. hope you'll be good soon.

skzflix was devastating and I could talk about it endlessly because I love skz lore sm, with all the theories and stuff!!

and you know who makes these things too? Twenty Øne Piløts, my favorite band of all times! been a fan since 2016 and no one could ever take their place... they literally saved my life.

but I listen to all genres of music so I have a pretty long list of artists I like... I generally prefer death metal (yeah I'm serious I'm a metalhead lol), visual-kei, and all that hard/chaotic music. it's actually a very difficult question for me, always, so I generally send my spotify account to people to make them understand a bit!

if I really have to choose someone beside TØP it's Diaura, another band. I can't list anyone else or I'd feel guilty and want to say everyone... take a look at my playlists if you'd like, or at my followings!

if you want to know for k-pop, beside SKZ being my ult group I love BTS, NCT (all units) and recently Ateez too... I'm back from a long break so yeah, I'm starting to know them just now haha (as for girl groups I don't like them too much but I enjoy (G)-Idle and LESSERAFIM a lot). fav korean solist rappers are BewhY, Villain and Gwangil Jo!

[likesplatterpaint]

Also I should mention I am cleared to resume my prior diet and activities with no restrictions, which means I can dive!! I’m exhausted and a little sad to turn around and leave the dogs again but we are still going to key west with dad!!!

I’m laying in the dark with the room all lit up with the blue of the tanks. Dunc is working on Shjork next to me and I made real food (the salmon naan with cucumbers) for Mike and I. Reality is nice again.

I’m also kind of convinced mom was present for my echo. Just a hunch. To the point I was looking around the room to just…see. Really wanted to snuggle nunu last night.

I’m really relieved. The basass RN (who lit a fire under the cardiologists butt after he hadn’t read my results for five hours…) and I bounced a theory off each other that maybe both episodes were panic attacks? Episode 1 was right after the smoke alarm went off and woke us from a dead sleep. 2 was after a very intense literal Skibidi nightmare. 3 could have been residual while walking the dogs. So? Who knows? Troponin was literally the only thing out of wack. Everything else- labs, Cath and echo were perfect.

Which is nice to hear because I know I need to exercise and eat healthier. Got a bit of a talk from dad and he’s right.

Just. Relieved. Grateful.

I am home!!!!!! With no further heart issues!!!!! And my dogs and fish and husband yaaaaaayyyy!!!!