#the theatre nerd is strong with him

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

Who is bayverse au Ashlynn’s favorite bot?

Cogman obviously, but Ashlyn will never admit it. His tiny head is much too large already, no need to puff up that mech's plating even more.

So, instead of being honest, if ever asked that question, Ashlyn will do what she does best in this AU: have a little fun with it.

She will wax poetry about the strangest attributes of a bot, the odd symmetry of face plates, the sparks that trail off peds dragged through concrete, and the odd sneezing vent that matches the grace of a trumpeter swan. Random names, some within a few feet of her monologues, some that don't even exist in this universe, but it's never the same person twice and never with the same reasoning.

(Cogman is of course the exception, and the fact he is never mentioned only further proves that the over-qualified butler is the favorite. Sam is very confused by Cogman's preening.)

After Ashlyn finished a very lengthy description of how Megatron's voice has the particular quality of a screw caught in an ill-kept industrial clock's gears, and how his face was blessed with such intricate design that such a thing could only exist to be ripped off and replaced with an inferior model less an asteroid belt grow jealous of such a perilously pieced puzzle face, she gains a bit of a reputation. Well, adds to her current reputation.

Her comments on Optimus having the puckered lips of an infant, matched only by his temper of a toddler, have since gone viral.

(It is unconfirmed if Soundwave had anything to do with it. But it is confirmed that Simmons has been noting down every recorded dis just in case there is some secret message in there. She predicted the robot dino Grimlock! Now who is the octopus Quintessia that she speaks of? Who is the Unicorn?)

[hurtspideyparker]

* Deadpool and Wolverine Spoilers *

Hey guys I need to come clean about my Johnny Storm addiction because I just watched Deadpool and Wolverine for the first time and when Johnny came on screen I said "flame on!" in perfect sync with Chris Evans and then proceeded to scream! In the theatre! So

Anyways that was an insanely amazing perfect movie I loved every minute of it.

Chris Evans' Boston accent was so strong especially in the post credit scene asdfjkfkdh it was insanely hot. Especially because it was Johnny. I'm sorry I'm so far gone for the Human Torch and Chris Evans is my favourite depiction of him.

After Johnny the next best part of the movie was Wolverine in the mask, oh mannnnn that was everything I ever wanted and more. I can't believe how perfect and magical it was.

As an MCU nerd I have to say the shawarma bit warmed my heart.

And Jon Favreau!!! My man!!! The Earth 616 bit was really cool oh em geeee that office. My fave touch was the arc reactor. I wish I hadn't gotten spoiled but I already knew they had the Peter and Tony photo, still cool but am sad about the spoiler. Cough irondadtumblr cough.

The Bye Bye Bye dance... honestly really satisfying. Still thinking about how smooth Pool's moves are. The whole soundtrack was amazing for this film, thank you Madonna! I liked the Greatest Showman easter egg, I wish it was longer but I understand they wanted to be tasteful about it.

The pure Deadpool and Wolverine fight scenes were just chef's kiss. Like heck yeah that's motherfucking Wolverine!!! That's Freaking Deadpool!!! They are doing the Deadpool Wolverine thing !!!!!!!!!

Just so happy to have Hugh Jackman back in this role, he's just. The Best.

The special effects of Cassandra Nova's fingers going through people's heads was epic. So well done.

Laura Kinney a pleasure to see you my darling. Don't know how I feel about Channing Tatum as Gambit tho... I liked how they brought back old actors and characters in a really well-done way, didn't feel like pandering.

Anyways for me PERSONALLY, 10/10. Honestly just for the Johnny Storm cameo I'd have rated it 10/10 cuz I am so easy to please... I will not stop thinking about how after 17 years we got back the best Johnny Storm. Chris Evans I owe you my life

[tvccreator]

Shadow Milk Cookie Headcanons

I've been working on a few stories with Shadow Milk, so I thought I would compile some of my headcanons to share with you all. Hope you enjoy! (It's a bit of a long read, so I apologize. ^^')

Personality:

Shadow Milk is a massive theatre nerd and poetry buff. He constantly makes theatre metaphors and will sometimes be caught quoting famous poets and plays.

He's dramatic as all hell. Shadow Milk thrives on being the center of attention and gets insanely jealous if cookies aren't paying attention to him. He'll often create havoc with his puppets just to get someone to notice him.

Shadow Milk's emotions tend to jump wildly between extremes if he gets worked up. He can easily go from calm and collected to raging psychopath in the span of milliseconds.

He loves to terrorize cookies. If he believes that he can get a reaction from you, you'll quickly find yourself being targeted by the Beast of Deception and his mind games.

His greatest weakness is his pride. He's completely egotistical and sees himself as above other cookies, especially due to his status as one of the five Beast Cookies. Flattery and praise will immediately distract him from what he's doing, and he's a sucker for discussing literature and theatre with anyone who approaches him asking for advice.

Shadow Milk is a naturally baked storyteller, and it shows especially when he's interacting with children. He can easily entertain children for hours on end if need be, and he'll even team up with Eternal Sugar to lull the rowdier children into sleep. (Although you really shouldn't have your kids near Shadow Milk in the first place.)

He's extremely stubborn. While not necessarily the leader of the Beast Cookies, the other four can't tell Shadow Milk what to do or when to do something... with a slight exception.

Eternal Sugar is the only cookie Shadow Milk will listen to, but even then, she only really ever tells him to calm down when he's going on a rampage.

On rare occasions, Shadow Milk will lock himself away in a private space and spend hours simply writing poetry or creating new screenplays. If you haven't heard from Shadow Milk for over thirty minutes, he's most likely working on a project. However, do not disturb Shadow Milk under any circumstances when he's writing. Whenever he gets interrupted, he has a 90% chance of losing his train of thought and will immediately attack the person who interrupted him.

In Battle:

Either a Bomber-type or a Ranger-type, in the Middle position. He specializes in hitting multiple times and in quick succession. While he's not all that strong physically, he makes up for it with his speed and stamina.

Since Shadow Milk used to be the Virtue of Knowledge before his corruption, he is insanely smart on the battlefield. He doesn't like going into battle personally, though, instead opting to sit on the sidelines and relying on strategy and his own silver tongue rather than brute-forcing it (like Burning Spice.)

Shadow Milk will try to use his power to send the entire battlefield into darkness. After all, it's a lot easier to lie to other cookies if they can't see the truth.

If he's rendered desperate enough, Shadow Milk will join the battle himself. However, if he does, consider yourself crumbled. He's not known as a Beast Cookie for nothing; his strength, speed, endurance, and stamina are inhumanely (un-cookie-ly?) high thanks to his former power as a Virtue, and once he enters the battlefield, Shadow Milk won't hesitate to drop all of his lies in favor of bashing cookies' heads in with his staff.

If he's fighting alongside the other Beast Cookies, he tends to tag-team with either Eternal Sugar or Burning Spice. When he's with Eternal Sugar, he uses his powers of deception to get cookies to lower their guard so Eternal Sugar can ambush them. When Shadow Milk and Burning Spice team up, Shadow Milk uses his reality-warping abilities to manipulate the landscape for Burning Spice to cause as much destruction as possible.

[magniloquent-raven]

the devil ain't a beast

Day 1 of @harringrove-flip-reverse-it: Found Family

(read on ao3)

**

Dear Steve,

If you’re reading this, I better be dead. I told you assholes not to open

It’s okay that you guys couldn't

Hey,

It’s weird writing this while you’re sitting right over there

Steve,

I just…wanted to say thank you. I never said it, after you stood up to Billy for me. For Lucas. I should have.

Thank you.

Not just for what you did that night, but everything after that. All the little things. The free movies and driving all of us around and letting me poach quarters out of your glove box (I know you noticed). I know I’m about to die so Maybe it’s stupid to be thinking about some change and a back entrance into the theatre when I’m under the circumstances, but it’s more about the fact that you didn’t have to do any of it.

I know Dustin strong-armed you into helping with the whole D’art situation, but after that you kept choosing to hang out with us, when I’m sure you could’ve found better things to do.

So. I hope you don’t mind that we all kind of see you as a big brother, because we do. I do. It was nice knowing what it’s like for people who aren’t scared to care about their siblings.

When Billy died I’m sorry for pulling away after Starcourt I couldn’t even handle losing the brother I sort of hated, so

Please keep looking after Lucas for me.

-Max

Billy never really learned to keep his nose out of other people’s business.

Maybe this will finally teach him.

The letter falls from his numb fingers, floating back into place on Steve’s desk, light as air and landing silently.

His grip on the page left it crumpled, wrinkled, sweaty fingerprints dented into the blank space below Max’s last words for Steve. Damning evidence that he’s been snooping around, not that Steve would normally care. What’s mine is yours, he said. And so far it seems he meant it.

The words leave a bitter taste in his mouth now.

But he never wanted Max to be his sister, did he. He always said as much. To anyone who would listen, including Max herself. It’s not surprising that she decided to replace him with someone better. His stare goes glassy, scattered papers and trophies and the yellow lamp all blur. His eyes sting.

He has no right to be hurt over this. It shouldn’t hit him like a punch in the gut, but it has, and he aches all over, swaying, nauseated.

And there’s not a damn thing he can do about it. That’s the worst part. He can’t make it better, there’s no fixing this, no patching things up with Max, no going back in time and beating the shit out of himself before he can ruin everything.

No one wanted to tell him, at first. After he clawed his way out of a fissure in the ground, blood and dirt under his nails, and scared the shit out of all of Max’s little nerd friends. She was conspicuously missing, and no one would tell him why.

Being trapped in hell for eight and a half months wasn’t as bad as finding out he was two days too late to ever talk to his sister again. At least when he was being attacked by monsters he could fight back. There’s no fighting this. There’s no excising his grief no matter how many times he bloodies his knuckles.

The sound of the front door being flung open echoes up the stairs. “I’m home!” Steve calls just barely loud enough to be heard, muted by exhaustion.

Billy goes rigid, tension coiling up his spine. It’s usually a relief when Steve comes back, after the quiet, the boredom of being cooped up in an empty house all day. He’s a bright spot, a comforting presence…

It’s not hard to see why Max preferred him.

Billy lets out a slow breath, and swipes at the wetness on his cheeks.

Familiar anger bubbles up in the back of his throat. So familiar it’s almost comforting. He’d rather be angry than blubbering like a child, wallowing in misery.

He’s tired of being second best. Never the favourite, never good enough.

He can’t do anything about how fucking inadequate he was, he can’t ever change enough to make it right, so what’s the fucking point, what’s the point of any of this.

It’s pressure behind his eyes now, tears blurring with something else, that rage that threatens to blind him. He can feel it in his fingertips, and coiled like a snake between his ribcage.

He has to get out. He has to just. Go. Before he breaks another thing that can’t be fixed.

He doesn’t look at Steve, doesn’t listen to his confused stuttering, and he barely feels their shoulders collide as he pushes past him, out the door.

[velvetwyrme]

transformers one is out now!!! have yuo watched it yet?? how was it?? c:

HI ANON i hope you dont mind that i kept this in my askbox for a couple days because I hadn't watched it yet (wanted to make sure I was No Longer Sick, because being sick in the cinema is Not Great) and also technically it hasn't released here yet,,,? BUT apparently they've got advance preview weekends for like. the same price so Obviously I went.

ANYWAY I HAVE WATCHED IT NOW AND IT WAS FANTASTIC!!!! THANK YOU FOR ASKING.

AHHHHHHHHHH hold on I've been talking nonstop about it for like the last. 4 hours. fucking help me. or dont. I love to chatter and will continue to do so under the cut shjfkgnwmbfks so if you count this, it'll end up nearing 6. I'm... probably going to talk about this as if you know the general premise of the movie, but if not. Google it. Or just go watch it!! (Can recommend) I talk too much to summarise it fhfjfbskdnfkf

Vague spoiler warning because I don't know what I'll talk about rhdjfbekntkr,,,,

Edit: If you've been following me for any amount of time, you know that when I say this got long, you really do have to believe me on that.

My mom liked it as well???? She came with me because I didn't want to subject any of my irl friends to my tf rambling and she didn't want me to go alone fbfkfbkd I thought she wouldn't, but SHE LIKED IT.

Okay so first off: going into the theatre, I was so so afraid that I was going to have the same thought I had after watching Puss and Boots: The First Wish, which was- "I REALLY liked that, and it would have been one of my favorite movies if I was still a child." (Still a really good movie!!)

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THAT. I JUST REALLY LOVE THE MOVIE FULL STOP.

Anyway, onto my wild rambling.

The visuals were superb!! Gorgeous. No notes. Freaking amazing animation and character design and world design !!!!! I'LL COME BACK TO THAT I COULD YELL FOREVER ABT WORLDBUILDING. The characterisation is so so good, so tasty.

Also because I'm a huge honkin nerd...

The movie is largely focused on the dynamic between Orion Pax/Optimus Prime and D-16/Megatron, but the other characters also shine through really well, and they show off a lot personality even with the ones with very few scenes. Elita-One is a fucking delight I wanna kiss her!!!!!!! She's so cool and pragmatic and it SHOWS in what she does and how she acts. She IS better than you, and she knows it. Even Starscreams confident yet cowardly nature is shown with him lounging on a throne and slinking off after his fight with D-16, and he's barely there!!! RAHAGGHHH I love what you can do with characterisation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also my god this movie was funny. Even when the pacing is fast it's a GOOD fast. Comedic moments are used really well in this, and it flips smoothly between that and the more serious and heartfelt bits.

AND HRHFJFJDK okay so maybe its just my sense of humor, but I found Bee to be really really really funny. He's just like me for real!!! Talks too much, excited as HELL about everything!!!!!!!!! HE'S JUST LIKE ME. I also told my mom this and she was like. "Yes! He is jist like you!! He talks a lot. You would do the knife-hands thing. Also, you're wearing yellow." And. I was. I am. hrhfjfjfkkghdk 💛💛 Shockwave in this movie is ALSO very funny. He gets punched <3 Many other characters also get punched, but he complains about it. He reminds me somewhat of TF Animated Shockwave but less intimidating sgdjfbdjfbdmfbmd

Speaking of characters... Airachnid was so pretty. I love her design so much!!!! She's alien and COOL and I love her!!!!! She has so many eyes... (I'd ALSO love to know more about what her deal is. But... her lack of a motive/story is made up infinitely by strong screen presence and personality) Sentinel was ALSO very pretty and I loved seeing him on screen but I (spoilers) loved seeing him get ripped in half more. Those were LOVELY shots.

I brought my mini Soundwave along with me!! I liked Soundwave in the movie even if he didn't play a big part <33 The "there sure are a lot of waves" joke was VERY funny because I had the exact same thought moments before.

There are a LOT of cameos in the film and I kept going "AHHHHH [CHARACTER]". I get why they didn't add more as main characters- there were a loooooot of characters running around already, and only 2 hours!! Even so, I still wish we saw more of the other characters that cameoed (JAZZ!!!!!! MY BOYYYY!! I WAS SO SCARED THEY'D KILL HIM OFF) or had minor appearances because I just. I want to know what they'd do with the characterisation........ but that's what fanfic for for ig ehfjfhdk,,

And on the topic of lovely shots, theres a series of scenes near the end of the movie with no dialogue, only music and sound and. It's SO good. It's so impactful and beautiful and ausuaiaiurhrgh...

The whole movie is inherently sort of a tragedy since it's a prequel. We all know how it ends; what these characters become. But the build up to that is so SO good. I loved the character progression- D-16'S PROGRESSION TO BECOMING MEGATRON IS!!! AHHHHH!! I loved seeing him shift from one perspective to another and they made it believable.

His anger and betrayal giving way to violence- there's this one bit shortly after they are given the ability to transform where you See that violence in D-16 fir the first time, and it's shot so starkly in comparison to the other characters (who also fight to get away) and it's just like. Oh. There's the potential for something dangerous there.

It is so so interesting to me to see how that violence is framed in comparison to the others- all three of the other protags have their moments of violence- Elita-One is very very intimidating and used violence/threats to get her way, and Bee has this lightheartedness/innocence to his violence... Orion Pax is just. he's doing what needs to be done, he takes no joy from the destruction- he's fighting back, but I think most importantly all of them know when to stop.

There are the fights and punches that get thrown around, and then there is D-16 wailing on Starscream. Megatron RIPPING SENTINEL IN HALF. God that scene was good.

Anyway, sometimes in media a character goes through a Big Event that changes or breaks them, but here? There is no breaking point for D-16/Megatron. It's a slow spiralling descent and you see him taking one step after another, deciding to continue down this path. This is shown in a more literal way with his eyes slowly changing colour through the movie (fucking SICK SHOTS!!!!!!!) but there are a dozen more moments where you can see him decide who he is becoming.

IT WAS REALLY GOOD, I LOVE SHIT LIKE THAT.

And as audience!! Though we know this change is inevitable!! (This is an event in the past- the end of this is already written!!!) It's still tragic!! I feel for him!! I want him to keep getting back up in the face of Sentinel's cruelty!!!!!!!!!!

Orion watching his friend change, seeing them grow further apart... and he still hangs onto that hope right up until the end (and even after that!!!!!! He banishes him, because he will not kill him!!)

imo, they did Orion Pax/Optimus Prime really well in this one- he gets into a lot of trouble and it somehow works out. I think they do really well in making him feel down to earth in this- he's punchy and dynamic and has this unwavering respect for the people around him, but he's also good at being tricky and manipulative to get interesting outcomes that nobody else could have considered- he knows how people tick on an individual level and he knows how to use that. He thinks differently, and it's fantastic. Most importantly, Orion can see something nobody else can: a world where things are better.

Orion becoming Optimus... ough. aough. It's so!!!!!! AHHH. I loved all of the sequences that follow after. When his signature axe made an appearance I was so excited it was REALLY COOL. ALL OF IT WAS SO COOL.

The fight choreography is FANTASTIC and while it was a little messy at times (so much... going on........) it was fluid and dynamic and mwah mwah mwah I love it.

ALSO I SAID I'D YELL ABOUT WORLDBUILDING but this is really really long already so like. I'll keep it short as I can

The glimpses of the society that exists is FASCINATING to me. We don't get to see much of it, because our main characters are purely of the lower classes, so what's available to us is quite limited, but the class structure is INTERESTING to me. Unlike IDW, where form dictates function, this universe is driven (ha. ha.) on the idea that some Cybertronians can't transform (and thus work in the lower classes, as miners and waste management etc.) but as it turns out, (spoilers) they actually get their transformation cogs removed before they come online. And like... I can't help but wonder how they pick who gets that treatment?? Luck???? I'm dying to know.

ALSO I really like the Quintessons (sad they're not the the horrible five faced creature things. I wanna see the Weirdos!!!!) but I still think these fuck hard. They're really buggy and organic and cool (I adore their ship designs holy shiiiiiiiiit- just yesterday I was admiring all the bugs and monsters and crabby things in Guild Wars 2, and now THIS?? BLESSED.) And the CYBERTRONIAN DEER ARE COOL!!!!!!!!!! I like them. That's all. I wished we got to see more of the bio-mechanical parts of the planet...

AND AND THE PLANET ITSELF HOLY SHIT AHHHHHH!!!!! The city is gorgeous- the spires going up and down is mwah amazing. The roads and rails appearing/disappearing as they are used? PEAK. The MINES and the surface of Cybertron. They're shifting, moving, alive. I legit was staring slackjawed when they were in the mines- it's just SO COOL to watch!!!

OKAY. IM DONE NOW.

...

AUGH I want to watch it again. I probably WILL watch it again.

If you got all the way down here, thank you for reading (?!) and please tell me what YOU thought of it if you've seen it 🥺👀 Or if you're going to. I definitely recommend it.

[hellfireclubmember]

Secret Nerd PT 2

Someone requested this and I can't find the ask so I am sorry. I'm also sorry for literally taking forever to get to it.

part 1

Summary: Eddie, who may or may not be in love with you, finds out you like LOTR.

Warning(s): lots of steve fluff but eddie angst, unrequited love, not proof read

pairing(s): boyfriend!steve harrington x fem!reader, platonic!in love!eddie munson x fem!reader

w/c: 1.6k

Siouxsie and the Banshees was softly playing through the dimly lit shop. The stacks of new records were beginning to lose their height as you sorted them out into their appropriate bins. There was dust in the air from the number of bins you were kicking out of the way. Usually there was someone to help you with the heavy lifting, but it was 10 AM on a Tuesday. A time void of customers.

“(Y/N)!!” Eddie’s voice boomed through the store.

There was something almost pathetic about how fast a smile appeared on your face when you heard him. You loved it when Eddie visited you at work. He always made your shift go by at Mach speeds. He helped you on inventory days, walking around holding piles of records all whilst giving you free music advice. Which was really just him complaining about anything you put on the loudspeaker. Because according to the dramatic mop of hair, ‘your music taste would be perfect if you just cut out all the moody, creepy whining.’

“I know you’re in here, short stack! Only you would be playing Siouxsie.” You could hear the eyeroll from across the store.

“Yeah, whatever, act like I haven’t seen you nod your head to Happy House.” You walked onto the main floor where Eddie was sitting on the counter, next to the Madonna cassettes. “Nice of you to come see me, Edward.”

“No need to continue the act, (Y/L/N).” His face was stone cold, eyes blank. Last time he looked that severe, he was being told that Hellfire couldn’t use the theatre room because the basketball team had booked it last second. Not a good day to be around Hellfire’s dungeon master. Mike, Dustin and Lucas avoided him for two days, just to be safe.

“You don’t have to pretend to be friends with me any longer; for I have been told the truth.” He hopped off the counter and crossed his arms over his chest, covering the Megadeth graphic plastered on his black tee. “The lady lies.”

“Me lady?” You pointed your finger to your chest, confused as you could be. “I lie?” Brows furrowed as you thought of any fib you might’ve muttered out lately.

“You lie! If we were friends, you would’ve never kept your love for Lord of the Rings from me!” he exclaimed, hand on his forehead. In that moment, the appreciation you had for Eddie’s dramatics had been replaced with a strong urge to kill. You should’ve guessed it though; it had been exactly one day and one night since you had admitted it to Dustin. And Dustin is a HUGE blabber mouth. The boy did not stop.

“Ah, heard about that huh?”

“Yeah, I heard about that.” He rudely mimicked your voice and glared at you. “This entire time, when I was holding stacks of Duran Duran for you, we could’ve been talking about Boromir’s heroic sacrifice.” It was taking everything in Eddie not to crack. He couldn’t stop thinking about how cute you look all pouty. You were all frown lines and crossed arms.

The small crush Eddie had on you seemed to grow at speeds that would leave NASA’s head spinning. When you were first introduced, he didn’t think much of you. Some chick he saw at school occasionally, walking with Nancy or laughing with faceless losers. You were one of the rare people that didn’t move to the other side of the hallway when he walked by, so he definitely remembered you when Dustin was pushing him toward the group. He already knew you were dating Steve, how could he not? ‘Steve’s girlfriend’ was your identifier. And back then, there was nothing he cared less about. Currently it’s something that didn’t let him sleep at night.

Eddie was never sure what love would feel like; and now he knew what both love and heartbreak felt like. Even so, he was never truly sad, not when he could spend time with you like this. The faux vexed look you were forcing onto your face was enough to crush any self-pity swelling in his chest. Besides, he knew that there was no way he had a chance. You loved Steve, and Eddie knew there was no one else you would rather love.

“You would be a Boromir kind of guy.”

Eddie held his hand over his chest as if he were hit with an arrow. “A woman after my own heart.” He fell onto the counter he was previously sitting on.

“Where’s my pretty girl?” The voice of the sandy haired man was heard before he was seen. Eddie watched your eyes light up before you walked around the counter toward the door.

“Hi, Stevie.” You wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his chest. Steve was like a giant, human Xanax. He made every muscle in your body relax, every racing thought slow down. You squeezed him tight and took a deep breath. Steve loved your hugs. You hugged him as if he had gone away for years at a time.

Steve’s arms wrapped around your shoulders, and he kissed the top of your head. “I missed you.”

“Aw I missed you more, Harrington.” Eddie stood behind you. His arms were crossed over his chest. He was trying his best to look as big as possible. Even if he did know you loved Steve, it did not keep him from messing with him as often as he could.

There was really very little things Eddie could do about the pesky feelings that clawed at his chest when your eyes reached his. He knew that at some point they would slowly fizzle out, like the bubbles in his favorite beer. But for now, he was going to enjoy them. Enjoy looking at you smile, hearing you laugh, rolling your eyes, even putting away those annoying records and cassettes. Even if the image of you stuck to Harrington chunked away at his health. He was used to piecing his heart back together with the scraps of time he could spend with you. Eddie knew what his role was in life and getting the girl wasn’t part of it. It was devastating but his songs had never been better.

You felt Steve’s body tense up. “Man, you’re in here a lot.” He kept a possessive arm around your shoulders. “You wouldn’t want my girl or anything, would you?”

Your head snapped up to look at your boyfriend. That was a really jerky thing to say. Something King Steve would say. Which is what was the most surprising bit, with all the effort Steve put in to distance himself with his asshole high school self. All his other moments of jealousy were pretty tame, cute even. But he was being a jerk to your friend, and it was very upsetting.

Eddie scoffed. “I could never. That would be really dumb of me, right?” He grabbed your hand and pulled you toward him, his lips placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I bid your farewell, fair maiden. I have dragons to slay and whatnot.”  

The sunlight from outside painted the walls of the record store once Eddie opened the door. The second he was out of ear shot you finally spoke to Steve.

“I hate it when you’re like that.” Steve looked over at you when he heard your voice, and your frown was like a shot to the heart. He was no stranger to your cute angry face, but he knew when you were really upset. That frown looks nothing like the one you shoot him when he steals some of your fries. And he knew why you were upset. He was being a douche bag. As he was saying the words, he knew they were very asshole things to say but he couldn’t stop it. Steve couldn’t help how angry Eddie’s heart eyes made him.

“C’mon baby. He was flirting with you.” He tried to reason with you, walking around the counter to where you were counting some cassettes. “He has to know he can’t have you. Even if you’re all nerdy too.”

“Steve, Eddie isn’t a threat to you.” You turned around to face him. “Just cuz we both like..”

“I know. God, I know he’s not. I’m not insecure, sweets.” He put his hand on your right hip. Looking down at you. “I know I was made for you ‘cus there’s no one out there that loves you like I do.” He let go of your hip and found your hand. A perfect fit, but he already knew that. If that thing about an invisible string was true, he knew you were both knotted up together. Like those impossible knots on your necklaces, the ones you have Steve work out for you.

The anger that you felt for Steve dissipated and turned to another familiar feeling. Adoration. Love. Loving Steve has been the easiest thing you have ever done. He made it so easy. With his honey coated words and his pretty pink lips that kiss away all your worries.

“I just wish you would be nice to Eddie. He’s done nothing but be good friend to me.” There was a part of Steve that knew you were right. He was a good friend, not just to you but to multiple of his own friends. But the part of him that knew he was in love with you made him want to pummel Eddie.

“I just hate that he thinks about you the way I do.” He placed a gentle kiss on your lips. “It should be illegal. I should put in a word with Hop, get him arrested or something.” Another kiss on the tip of your nose. “In fact, get every loser that thinks they have a chance with you and through ‘em in jail.” Another kiss to your forehead. He saw the way you were biting back a smile when he pulled away.

“Just please stop being an asshole okay?” His finger found your sides and he started to poke, making you giggle and squirm away.

“If you insist, angel.” His lips pressed to yours for a long kiss.  

taglist: @slashersluttt @slurmp69 @sadbitchfangirl @actual-mom-steve-harrington @stylesyourmine @pennyllanne @johnricharddeacy

[prodigal-explorer]

my tss headcanons that make my fics/ideas/profile unique!!

basically headcanons that i rarely see other people share but i love them and i talk about them on the regular!

(also most of these are gonna be about roman lol)

1. roman is dark skinned, and not even like a teeny tiny little tan either he’s like DARK dark skinned and so is remus, but remus is a tiny bit lighter than him.

2. roman has a lightning mcqueen nightlight that he uses to tackle his fear of the dark. he also regularly has nightmares.

3. in high school aus, roman is not popular. he is not the queen bee, he is not the mega powerful guy with a lot of friends. he is an OUTCAST! whether it’s because he’s a spoiled brat who was never taught social skills, or he’s a theatre nerd who never stops talking about music and art and poetry. this man is not heather chandler reincarnated, he is a high school outcast 😭

4. virgil is wayyyy way way buffer than roman 😂 he is not a weak little noodle getting carried around by the valiant prince roman, he is a tough, silent guy carrying around his whiny dramatic twink.

5. on that note, virgil is the strong and silent type, but he’s not like super shy and meek or super mean and snappy. i love my virgil to be somewhere in between. he’s got some snark, but usually, it doesn’t get expressed out loud. i would compare him most linearly to matthew cuthbert from anne of green gables.

6. logan is so protective. this man deserves a brother of the year trophy because i make him the big brother in so many aus and he is just such an amazing brother figure because he cares so much and he cares about keeping his loved ones safe.

7. on that note, logan is SO kind to the weak, harsh to the strong. and janus is the same way. enough said.

8. every single side is capable of causing damage. i see so many people who make every other side realistic and then their favorite is so innocent and special and physically incapable of doing wrong. thats not me. everybody can and has caused irreparable damage and its delicious.

9. roman has a massive sweet tooth and virgil has absolutely no spice tolerance.

10. NONE OF THE SIDES ARE SKINNY LITTLE TOOTHPICKS. WE HAVE ENOUGH SKINNY LITTLE TOOTHPICK REPRESENTATION WE DONT NEED MORE. “patton is so small and petite” NO. patton has a dad bod, logan has belly for days, virgil and remus are muscular af, janus and roman are curvy bodyodyodyody. and they’re all BEAUTIFUL. AND THATS THE LAW. like where did all the stick figure side stuff come from?? not even THOMAS is that super mainstream body type that every single popular character ever is. i can’t wait for the world to get tired of writing endless skinny characters. (AND I AM NOT BEING OFFENSIVE I AM LITERALLY 110 POUNDS MYSELF SO I CAN SAY THIS.)

[rei-ismyname]

Ororo, late in the Genesis war, holding the Uranos Trigger like Yorick's skull, thinking about all she's seen and done after choosing to insert herself in this culture - 'Arakko doesn't have drama kids bc everyone is like that all the time. I've never felt so fucking alive. I wish everyone who made fun of my weather incantations and invocations to goddesses I'm related to could see me now. Exodus would love it here.'

Jon Ironfire, sweating bullets bc he's had the worst day of his life 3 weeks in a row + he is grieving his malewife who *entrusted him with his sword* - 'Why do you hesitate? If you're not strong enough to press the button to summon the demigod who killed half the planet like a month ago then I will!'

Ororo, waiting for Roberto to and to create suspense *WORDLESSLY FRIES THE TRIGGER TO SLAG WITH A HECTIC LIGHTING BOLT*

Roberto, nodding 'fuck yeah'

Fisher King, having constant PTSD flashbacks and overwhelmed by merging with a sentient swarm of insects plus the thousands of years of memories that come with it - stares at the giant fish and mutters incoherently.

Jon Ironfire, horrified - 'Why did you do that crazy and dramatic thing? I'm going to be rational and try to kill my malewife and his 99 ride or die soldiers by myself.'

Dick Rider (Nova) watches, appalled but trying to not be judgmental. He's grateful that he's immune to the call of Drama Kid Swag. Out of the corner of his eye he spots a plague arrow flying straight at Storm. He acts quickly and *undramatically*

Everyone is shocked but they totally get why he did it. It looked super cool. He's beyond fucked up though, and morale is low. They wonder if majoring in theatre was a useless degree, if it's incompatible with being a warrior. Silent prayers are mouthed, a sign is needed - a champion of violence and monologues. 'Magneto!' They think, but it's a forlorn hope. His heart was torn out last war, he kept himself alive using rage and dramatic timing - long enough to slay one final enemy and redefine philosophical deathbed soliloquies.

...

...

A portal opens.

The First Drama Kid. En Sabah Nerd. The ancient marriage of war and elocution. Favourite son of Space Gods. Slayer of Glee club. Cause of the Bronze Age Collapse. Having a wild act 3 face turn

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Shrek 3 and 4

The wild gendered expectations they have on Pinocchio to hate dinner theatre LMAO

"I am the rightful King of Far Far Away." On what grounds, Prince Charming?

Why does Shrek have to do all the knighting and christening of boats when Fiona is the royal heir? Even in Shrek we cannot escape the misogyny of inheritance laws

"Imagine an Ogre baby. They extra cry, and they extra poop." This is unfortunate foreshadowing for how many babies they're gonna have

"I am proud to call you my Frog-King Dad-in-Law." Ghkjhgkjhg Shrek is as preoccupied with Harold being a frog as Harold was with him being an Ogre

"You and Fiona are next in line for the throne." Again, I feel like Fiona has this whole like, princess her whole life thing going for her. Why does Shrek need to be ruling in any way

NOT KING HAROLD BEING SENT TO REST IN YE OLDE FOOT LOCKER BOX:

Why has Doris been thrown out of the bar!! Who is Mabel!!

"And you, Frumpypigskin." "Rumplestiltskin." "Where's that firstborn you were promised?" I think this is supposed to be foreshadowing for the next Shrek movie

"How does it happen?" said Donkey, as if he did not have at least five children (six if we count the missing baby, whose name is apparently Éclair)

"My stomach aches and my palm just got sweaty. Must be a high school." Relatable. Also the implication that Shrek went to high school. Was it an Ogre high school or a general high school for fairytale creatures

"My friend Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. And she thought perchance you would ask her to the homecoming dance." Tiffany confirming that the Shrekfucker community is alive and well

Not Arthur Pendragon being bullied by the nerds omg

Fgjkhkghkgjh Guin being repulsed by Arthur. Rough

I guess we know where Doris is!! At Fiona's baby shower

"I got you the biggest one, because I love you the most." HAHAHAHA not Snow White giving Fiona a PERSON as a present

HAHAHAHAHA I love Pinnochio double negativing Charming into confusion

"He'll never fall for your tricks!" [Nose grows] Pinocchio knows Shrek is very gullible

Most of Shrek's problems are related to just being too strong to handle his own body

How long does Shrek think he can hide the fact there are other heirs to the throne. Does he think if he waits til they're in Far Far Away, Artie won't turn back?

"Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster trying to relate to me." This movie strongly feels like it was written by the parent of a teenager LMAO

"Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex." Me trying to talk to my parents

"My dad wasn't really the fatherly type either." 1) The plot of this movie is simply Daddy Issues: Shrek Edition and 2) Are we finally going to find out where some of the other Ogres are?

I guess we have taken until the third movie to confirm that some, if not most, Ogres, are pro-eating each other, at least. Shrek's father said, I put you in this world, I can take you out

"People used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names that people call you, and you just trust who you are." SOMETHING SOMETHING METAPHORS FOR OPPRESSION SOMETHING SOMETHING MY HEART

"That Charming makes me hotter than July." Why did Rapunzel say 'ew,' isn't she the one that Charming calls Kitten Whiskers lmao

Update from 30 seconds later: I got an immediate answer to this question in the form of Rapunzel betraying them

Also: Is the topiary supposed to be Lillian or is the implication Charming's first act in this coup was to replace the garden sculptures jkhgkjhg. I've been thinking it for a while but Lillian and Charming really do have the same hair and general face shape:

"Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry." Fiona why do you need Shrek, you can take out a band of ten Merry Men by yourself!! Are you hesitant to fight because you're pregnant? This movie should really be about Fiona and not Shrek

"Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid." Bold of them to choose this name for Artie's hometown hahahah

HAHAHAHA Artie defeats Merlin's magical insecurities by having a tantrum

Efhjkfhkfjh the implication that Donkey has been suppressing his inner heehaw for two whole movies. Poor Puss in Boots

"He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek." Artie's best quality as a leader is his ability to think on his feet

"I wasn't right for the job. I just needed some fool to replace me." IT'S A GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT THE ROYAL HEIR OF FAR FAR AWAY SHREK, FIONA IS! IT'S HER THRONE AND HER DECISION, U DINK

Shout-out to Cinderella's slowly dwindling mental health, she's got some of the most labour-intense and psychologically difficult backstory kghkhjg

Oh hell yeah Julie Andrews as Mama Lillian showing where Fiona got her fighting skills

"Okay girls, from here on out, we're gonna take care of business ourselves." AS THEY SHOULD!

HAHAHAHAH Snow White's singing scene is all I remember from this movie. Get 'em girls!!!

Cinderella throwing her glass shoe, Sleeping Beauty tripping them with her narcolepsy, Doris tripping the men up with her leg that didn't fit into the shoe. I love that the mechanisms of their fighting are the same as their confines in the story

"Shrek only said those things to protect you." And because they were true! He was also dishonest with Arthur lmao

Awwww the Shrek fan club in the audience. He really is a beloved by the people, in his way

"If you don't mind, could you kill me, and then sing?" Charming really should've put a muzzle on Shrek if he wanted him to be a silent participant in this play

Shrek's strongest asset by far is the community of people he and Fiona have built (the fairy tale creatures, the princesses, Doris, the dragon, the citizens of Far Far Away)

"Don't you ever wish you could be something else [other than a villain]?" Arthur yet again comes through with his gift of gab

"What Steve's trying to say is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you." Steve and Ed the Evil Trees raise very point

"I grow daffodils, and they're beautiful." Love this for Captain Hook

"It's yours if you want, you know. But this time it's your choice." WHY IS IT NOT FIONA'S CHOICE!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE NOT THE PRINCE, SHREK!!!!

You know, if the only remaining complication of switching bodies is losing your tail for a bit, that's not the worst

"I think the kid's going to be a great king." "Well, for what it's worth, you would have too." SO WOULD YOU, FIONA, AS HEIR TO THIS KINGDOM!!!! Raised as a princess!! The plot of this movie is so bizarre

I love how much Lillian loves her weird little family. No Judgement Mum

Tag yourself, I'm the "Where's the Baby" Dwarf kjghjghjh

Well, even if it's not something Fiona specifically identified as wanting for herself instead of ruling, I'm happy they get to have their happy little family in the swamp and a nap

Onto: Shrek 4

I will not lie to you, I am mostly watching the fourth Shrek because I went to Shrek trivia and we missed a bunch of questions related to the fourth movie LOL

Why does the animation look so funky in this one? It's giving a bit of Monster by Mistake/direct-to-video sequel

How are Shrek's babies old enough to speak but Donkey's still look the same even though they're at least 9 months older?

Is the plot of this, much like the second Incredibles movie, 'I can't believe that I, a father, have to parent'

I know people have been committing Ogre Microaggressions all day and that he wasn't the first to destroy the cake (Donkey licked and the Pigs ate the first one) but what kind of a father destroys his own children's birthday cake. Get some therapy, Shrek

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, it's not like you're a real Ogre. You spent half your life in a palace." "And the other half locked away in a tower." 1) What a thing to say to someone who became an ogre permanently FOR YOU, and 2) She got a point there, Shrek

"You have three beautiful children, a wife who loves you, friends who adore you. You have everything." Shrek said: God Fiona, have you ever heard of an introvert

Lmao @ this movie retconning the fact that Shrek and Rumplestiltskin have already encountered each other when Arthur took the throne

Shrek representing the very real experience of not reading the terms and conditions every time you sign off:

"It's me, Shrek, your best friend." After four movies Shrek finally admits that Donkey is his best friend hahaha

Gingey being in a cookie fighting league jkhfkfh on brand for him

Why is there such a large proportion of witches in Rumpelstiltskin's palace hahaha, I get that there were more than a few, but Rumpelstiltskin seems to hang with witches exclusively?

"I ended Fiona's curse." Technically yes, but did u really Shrek? You just ended the switcheroo to her original human form, not the resultant transformation

I gotta say, the soundtrack moments in this film are so far a lot weaker, BUT I do love Shrek rescuing Donkey, His Best Friend Who Doesn't Know Him, and covering his eyes as they go through the roof:

As if to challenge me on that last point, they had Shrek sing an off-key rendition of "You've Got a Friend," which was delightful

Donkey looks particularly off in this movie and I've just realized it's because of the texture of his fur. It was smooth and growing in a similar direction for three movies, and now it's super coarse and messy

"You should never sign a contract with Rumpelstiltskin." Not Donkey having more common sense than Shrek HAHA

"You gonna have to take me to dinner first." I will take this as Donkey coming out as bisexual

"Fate has delivered us a comrade-in arms and for that we are thankful." The implication that Ogres do have a society and Shrek just chooses to never interact with them bc HIS FAMILY is the only one who loves terrorizing is VERY FUNNY

I love how Shrek also seems to be one of the smallest Ogres. Little man

I thought the idea of Fiona staying an Ogre was for her to subvert the beauty standard (which like, another conversation, 'cause she looks fine as an ogre) but they had to make a point of her being a sexy warrior ogre HAHA:

(I can see why this film didn't do that well with audiences)

Why is Fiona the ONLY female ogre? Where are the women!!

"Well, I see who wears the chainmail in your family," said Donkey, both correct about Fiona's fighting prowess and unaware that his wife is a Dragon ten times his size

Took me a sec to realize why the water would be threatening to the witches kjhgjghjgh (not poison, just dealing with Dorthy Dousing Disease)

OHHH Cookie is an Ogre who loves cooking, I had wondered about that in the Shrek trivia

"Shrek, do my babies have hooves or talons?" Donkey is SO excited to be a father!! I love that for him

Lmao @ them suggesting Shrek stresses Puss into being physically fit with the fights he causes

"[Candy]'d work on me." I guess there is another woman Ogre, but not with a scanty outfit! Only Fiona gets Ogregectification

I do love the falling in love while sparring. Couples MMA league:

I love that Puss in Boots is immediately Team Shrek/Fiona

"You are a catastrophe." "And you, are re-donkulous." [Shared laughter] Hahaha I like that the only obstacle in Puss and Donkey's friendship was they needed to meet sooner to avoid the competition for Shrek's attention

"I can't believe I let this happen, and it's all because of you." In fairness to Shrek, no one could see inside the carriage

They spent the entire animation budget on this frame of Puss in Boots:

I do like them subverting the expectation that just a kiss would solve their problems when love is what they need

"Then where were you, when I needed you?" Thinking of ways to become an absentee father

"Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator." I wish all political announcements were this honest

There is something fun about the circling back to Shrek 1 Mob

"If your life was so perfect, why'd you sign it all away to Rumpelstiltskin in the first place?" "Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone, alright?!" Fiona even reminded you! Get some therapy Shrek

"What are you talking 'bout, cracker?" I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GOT AWAY WITH PUTTING THIS IN A CHILDREN'S MOVIE (point of clarification: It was said to the Gingerbread Man)

DID PUSS IN BOOTS JUST KILL GINGEY???? AH?????

"I'm just a frightened old man." "Don't listen to him, these Ogres are crafty." "That is your father painted green." Pinocchio finally gets his revenge on his dad for selling him to the Duloc Guards hahahaha

Shrek giving up his freedom to save the other Ogres 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Nobody's smart but me," said Rumpelstiltskin, while leaving the only two people who could break his spell together to fall in love:

HAHAHAHAA how could they have Trojan Horse'd Rumpelstiltskin SO QUICKLY after being freed?? It is the SAME NIGHT, 2 MOVIE MINUTES LATER:

"I'll call you! We're in love." If there's one thing Donkey is willing to do, it's commit to the bit

I love that the way they keep Dragon at bay is both a callback to the first movie and a callback to the phrase Fiona has tied knots with throughout the movie. A rare moment of good writing it in this funny little movie

I guess in lieu of Shrek's other friends knowing him, it's an Ogre-only revolution

"Looks like we're having curly-toed weirdo for breakfast." So ogres eat ogres AND people. Four movies for someone to confirm it explicitly!!

"You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with all over again." A very sweet reflection about a problem Shrek caused himself

Lillian is genuinely so accepting of her bizarre family 💞 She doesn't care if she married a frog or if her grandkids are ogres

I can't believe they saved two of the best soundtrack songs and this fun character montage of moments throughout the series for the end credits!

Overall, I would say I prefer the first three Shrek movies (and especially the first two) but if they put out another one, I would probably watch it LOL

[ineffablelunatic]

@oddsydviscous, @thattransboyaled and I have made a fabulous Ghosts highschool AU!

Thomas: Massive theatre kid, is a member of the drama club and is in every play, plays the acoustic guitar in a sappy band. He carries a satchel full of poetry and writes with an actual calligraphy pen. He has a new crush every week.

Kitty: Eats lunch in the art block every day, has had a long-term secret crush her entire time at the school. He's actually some hapless guy in one of the years above who's never spoken to her, but she's convinced herself that they're in love. Really she just wanted to have a crush, rather than actually liking him. She and Thomas are best friends.

Humphrey: Always hangs out in the library with his nose in a book, massive English nerd (the subject, not the nationality). He runs the school magazine and he's very, very shy.

Captain: Also a theatre kid, although less outrageously so, plays the trumpet in the marching band. He's the one who plays the song at the start of every Remembrance Day assembly. CCF Squadron leader. Good at languages. Also on the fencing team and joint head of the cricket team.

Mary: Hopelessly shy, almost never talks unless she's picked on by a teacher, everyone is shocked if she actually speaks. She runs the gardening club, which has a small but loyal group of members. Sometimes she bakes cookies for her close friend group.

Pat: Joint Head of the student council, also Head Boy. He runs a lot of clubs. Nobody is quite sure how he manages to attend all of them. He's not necessarily popular, but nobody actively dislikes him - after all, he's hard not to like. Except for the teachers, that is - no real reason, he gets good grades, but he talks to anyone who's next to him, no matter how many times they move him.

Julian: Typical bad boy. Poor attendance, throws parties every weekend, sticks gum under the desk, vapes in the Maths block toilets. He and Robin sell sweets behind the bike sheds. He has a lot of special offers on, but only if you're cool enough. He's also obscenely rich, but he just wants the money for extra pocket change.

Robin: Physics nerd, struggles with English. He does Julian's homework for him (he blackmails Julian into paying a fiver for each piece, or else he'll snitch). The two of them dominate the chess club. They essentially have an underground black market for contriband going. Somehow they haven't been caught yet.

Fanny: Head girl, Joint Head of the Student Council. Not very popular. She's the teacher's pet and enforces all the rules, even though it's not her job. Everyone hates her, but she gets good grades, especially in Maths. She doesn't really try in any other subject. Always telling people to tuck their shirts in and stop talking. All the Year 7s are scared of her. Her and Pat organise the discos, and she loves textiles class.

Alison: The beloved student counselor and head of Pastoral Care. The students always go to her for help, partially because she keeps a bowl of sweets on her desk. She also teaches PSHE, and she has a lot of pride flags on her wall. She's really into art, and she met Mike by sitting next to him on an art course. Lets kids do mindful colouring the day before their exams.

Mike: The PE teacher who's nice enough, but he's always on his phone and doesn't let you wear a jacket, even when it's freezing cold and he's wearing a scarf. Still, all the students like him. He'll let you sit off sport if you don't feel up to it.

Havers: Transferred mid-year, was very close with Captain before he left. Basically the only person Captain spoke to. He was one of those kids that everyone knows but nobody has a strong opinion on. He also hung out in the library a lot. He struggled with Maths, French and Spanish but was good at most other things. Very sporty - head of the cricket team alongside Captain, fastest runner, on the table tennis team. Captain is good at languages and liked to tease him about it.

Annie: A student from the Catholic school down the road who taught Mary to speak up for herself a little more. She bunks off school to hang out with Mary. She's in the year above, and so she goes off to university before Mary, but they still call each other a lot, and she comes back to visit.

Bonus info: Pat and Fanny became joint heads of the Council because it was a tie. Pat wanted to do Rock, Paper, Scissors but Fanny said it was undignified. Fanny is also somehow on the PTA, despite not being allowed.

Alison plays music in class and has fairy lights in her office. She takes her class outside for walks in the summertime - but only if they want to go, otherwise they can just sit outside. She passively talks about feminism when the class are doing something boring, punishes those straight boys for the smallest things because she knows how they act around other people. Gets kids to write other things they could say instead of swearing.

Alison's screensaver on her work computer is a wholesome meme. Julian regularly hacks into the school system, although he needs Robin's help to do it. Sometimes he changes his grades using that method. If he does too well in Drama or Art he lowers them so he looks cooler. If he has negative housepoints he removes them and replaces them with positive ones.

[whataboutmyfries]

Take my breath away

Boy oh boy did the inspiration hit me like a freight train, i wrote the previous post and went into my notes app where i found this little gem of an idea, and naturally it fit prompt 13 on the details for fictional kisses prompt list so here we are!!! reads a little bit like crack and it's also completely un beta-ed so we die like men.

cw: sex, mature content, and painfully cheesy nerd jokes.

enjoy!

13. pulling your lover closer by the waistband

~

It wasn’t often that Remus Lupin contemplated the sanity of his decisions. This, however, might be a record for the charts, his piece de resistance, even. Two weeks ago, Remus had decided to introduce his woefully ignorant boyfriend to the masterpiece that was the Top Gun movie. (after all, what gay could resist Tom Cruise on that bike?) It wasn’t Sirius’s first rodeo, so the wonder of muggle films had long since faded. But the passion in Remus’s voice and the flush on his cheeks when he spoke of the movie had him intrigued. 

And so, two weeks ago, on a pleasant Tuesday night, Remus had found himself looking at the two most stunning men in his life (nay, the world, dare he say) meet as Sirius watched the screen, enthralled. Sirius had laughed and gasped in all the right places, vowing to learn how to play ‘danger zone’ on the guitar if it killed him. Remus had laughed, and tucked his boyfriend into his side as they walked away from the theatre; a date well spent. 

Skip to two weeks later when he was prepared for the wrath of his ancestors for the horrific, grievous crime he’s committed. 

Remus walked into the garage to see Sirius sprawled casually on his motorbike, looking like a wet dream come to life. He’d barely had time to take in the aviators and the leather jacket (where the fuck did he find all the patches? Remus had been looking for those for ages.) before his knees buckled as the onslaught of ohmygodmyboyfriendlookslikesexonlegs hit and Remus stumbled a little. 

The light of the open garage door made every feature starker, from the strong line of his jaw, to the shallow dimple when he smirked at Remus. Oh the bastard knows exactly what he’s doing. For all his dry wit and sarcasm, Remus couldn’t think of a single clever thing to say as he looked at the lovechild of his two soulmates come to life. 

Tom Cruise, wherever you are, I thank you for baby gays everywhere. And whatever gods of gay dropped this specimen in my lap, I don't know which one of you I sold my soul to, but THANK YOU.

“Like what you see Moons?” 

“Jesus Christ.” 

“Aw shucks, it’s just Sirius to you sweet cheeks” 

Sirius kicked his leg off the handlebars, putting both feet on the floor as he looked at Remus. 

“What? Dog got your tongue?” 

“That’s not the expression and you know it.” Remus mumbled, his brain short circuiting too hard for him to come up with any sort of witty retort. 

Sirius laughed, leaning forward to tuck his fingers into the waistband of Remus’s jeans and tug him closer. Remus went easily, too stunned to do anything other than stare. Sirius’s thumbs sat warm against his skin and Remus shivered at the contact. Sirius smirked, taking away a hand to push the aviators into his hair. 

Remus couldn’t decide if looking him in the eye was better or worse. The roguish grin, the slight tilt of his head, the fucking leather jacket. He was about ninety percent sure his brain was broken.

Naturally, Remus did what any sane person in his place would do, and he leaned forward to kiss his (impossibly hot) boyfriend. Sirius made a satisfied little sound against his mouth and Remus leaned further into the space between Sirius’s legs, sliding his hands under his boyfriend’s shirt to get at bare skin. 

“God, the things you do to me.”

Remus felt Sirius’s smile against his lips. “Well, a man’s gotta keep you interested, don’t I? I saw the way you looked at ol’ Tom in that theatre Moons, I’m hurt.”

Remus huffed a laugh, tangling his fingers in Sirius’s hair and dragging him closer. “Well he’s not the one I’m about to blow, is he?”  

Sirius pulled back just a little at that, looking very dishevelled as he gaped at Remus. “Oh god, Yes yes yes yes, close the fucking door.” 

“Whatever you say, Mav.” 

Remus didn’t miss the way Sirius’s breath hitched and he smirked as he reached for his phone, fumbling to find the app, barely pushing the button before shoving the damn thing back in his pocket. 

He surged forward, pushing Sirius against the bike as he kissed and kissed and kissed him, hands roaming across every inch of skin they could reach. Sirius gasped into Remus’s mouth when he leaned down to hitch Sirius’s knee against his hip, grinding his hips down into Sirius’s, making the both of them moan. 

“Moons, ah— Moony.”

“Going to come for me, Mav? Going to let me suck your cock?” 

Sirius groaned, tightening his grip in Remus’s hair, kissing him sloppily. “Oh god, anything you want, Moons, anything.” 

Remus’s grin was nothing short of feral as he dropped his head to the curve of Sirius’s neck, sucking and biting as he shoved the leather jacket off his shoulders. He pulled away for all of a second to take Sirius’s shirt off, leaning in again to bite and kiss at every inch of skin he could reach. 

Sirius’s boot dug into the back of  his thigh when he pushed him back to suck a nipple into his mouth, grazing his teeth over it, before using his tongue to soothe the hurt. 

“Remus, fuck, Remus please—” 

Remus hummed, dropping to his knees as he trailed kisses down Sirius’s torso, making quick work of his belt and jeans. He looked up at Sirius, utterly debauched 

“Great balls of fire, baby” 

Sirius barked a laugh between his gasps for breath. “Moony you did not just—oh my god” 

Remus smiled around Sirius as he sucked him deeper into his mouth, groaning when Sirius’s hands tightened in his hair. He rubbed soothing circles onto Sirius’s hipbone with a thumb, hollowing out his cheeks as he took him deeper. 

“Moons, ah— Moons, slow down, or this is going to end very fast.” 

Remus pulled off with a smirk. 

“I got a need for speed, darlin, need for speed” 

Sirius groaned at that, half exasperated, half laughing, “Re, you need to stop doing that—fuck”

Remus hummed, swallowing around the head of Sirius’s cock as he took him back into his mouth, sucking him off languidly. He reached up to flick at a nippled, smiling as it made Sirius twitch in his mouth. 

“Fuuuuck,” Sirius groaned, “You’re going to be the death of me.” 

Remus breathed through his nose as Sirius hit the back of his throat, his hands tightening in Remus’s hair as he let out a choked gasp. 

“Re, Re, fuck, I’m gonna—” 

Remus hummed his encouragement, sucking hard, swallowing every drop that Sirius spilled down his throat.” 

“Moony, c’mere, Jesus Christ, get up here.” 

Sirius tugged Remus to his feet with frantic hands, grasping at hair and clothes and arms as he tugged him in for a kiss, hard and bruising. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you so much” 

Remus smiled, wrapping his arms around Sirius’s waist to pull him in closer. 

“Love you too, Mav, so much” 

Sirius ducked, burying his head in Remus’s neck as he chuckled. “Who knew Tom Cruise could get a man so riled up?” 

Remus laughed, running his fingers through Sirius’s hair. “Hmmm, we should watch The Mummy next time.” 

[neriyon]

top 5 npcs! :3

Starting with the hardest one right off the bat haha

Hilda Had to think about this one for so long since there were so many options (twins, multiple elf men, certain bnnnuy..) but I decided to go with Hilda because she's the first "best girl" in the game for me. I don't even have proper propaganda on why I like her, just that I saw her during HW and immediately went heart eyes at her. ^^' Poor girl doesn't get enough love, being mostly sidelined by the story, but every time she appears (as art on dash or in a quest) my day is a little better.

Emet-Selch I kinda debated on putting him as 3rd but eh, he'll get to be 4th. I originally did not care for the rat man too much, which in hindsight is hilarious - when have I not liked an overly dramatic antagonist whose so tired and done™ but still keeps doing things like he's on a theatre stage at all times? Emotional hurt (both from him and us) was a delicious bonus.

Zenos People are really divided on him, but I ended up liking him a lot. Strong enough to beat WoL twice? Like thrice the size of my min height catboy? Only has eyes for WoL and keeps spouting poetic (and weirdly romantic) lines about how much he wants you two to fight? Good stuff.

G'raha Tia Beloved catted boy... Goofy nerd who means well and is just happy to help. His bratty attitude was fun, but it was the gap moe Exarch who eventually sold his character to me. Cool and mysterious leader first, only to clearly blush under his hood the second he gets to talk to you? Cuuuute~ Also the whole "if fate takes you away I'll figure out how to change it" thing, I'm very weak to those.

Hythlodaeus I actually really liked him back on ShB already. Somehow his ween woon voice and gentle demeanor just clicked right away. My new old friend.. Then they did the whole face reveal and he has lived rent free in my head since then. And that talk about Azem and Emet? He deserves to spend eternity happy with them.

(edit: hey guess what tumblr randomly reversed the numbers! hilda is supposed to be 5 and hyth 1, but apparently numbered list in reverse is too much for our beloved hellsite)

[apoptoses]

We say Armand and Lestat are both theatre kids so let's do something with that! They definitely go to Broadway and West End shows together and are the kind of friends to sing along obnoxiously. Armand probably has a whole closet full of playbills.

They absolutely do and Lestat has very strong opinions on what constitutes a good show, having seen so many of them so many times. He loves the classics, Phantom of the Opera (he wrote a strongly worded letter to the NYT when it was announced the show was closing) Chicago, even Cats. And this Bad Cinderella shit Andrew Lloyd Weber has going on? It's tacky, he's compared Armand to Cinderella before so this gives him endless joke fodder, he's into it. And Lestat absolutely cries at the end of every show they go to, he's always moved by them, even the happy ones.

Everyone assumes Armand would be a big Sweeney Todd nerd because duh, blood everywhere, but Lestat knows that secretly his favorites are the love stories. Armand has dragged him to Moulin Rouge more times than he can count and he pets his hair and cuddles him when he's emotional at the end every time.

[shytastemakerthing]

Hi, if it’s possible, would I be able to get a romantic TWST match up?

I’m not exactly one for athletics, but I’m a huge music nerd. I did choir for 8 years, and vocal training for 10, and I was a big theatre kid. I also enjoyed history and biology classes the most in school, and I’ve got a love for forensics. I also do doll repaints, and it’s one of my favourite hobbies.

I also enjoy gaming, but playing combat games gives me a lot of anxiety, so I only play when I have my cat to comfort me because I’m really jumpy, at least until I am ridiculously overpowered for the area I am in and can one shot any and all enemies. Outside of online gaming, I also like to play TTRPGs with my friends, and I lean towards playing either bards or sorcerers.

My personality as a whole tends to slip between “mother of three kids who is always sighing at their antics” and “if god wanted to stop me I wouldn’t have made it this far” depending on who I’m with, but I’m overall a fairly strong introvert, and I like to have some time to myself every day, though I do have a habit of swearing like a sailor.

Hello and thank you so much for your request!! As a fellow TTRPG player, I mostly play as either a rogue or a druid. Though, I do have one bard character I have yet to play!

Tw: None

I match you with........

Idia Shroud

Right off the bat, this man would absolutely love to do TTRPG's with you! He is very selective as to who he plays these with. Ortho will join him, maybe Azul here and there (Azul would honestly be so good at these sorts of things, I swear). And the moment that he hears that you play them? Bring all your supplies next time because the both of you are going to have a long night.

Now, as to the relationship part of this, it was hard to get him to open up to the idea of one to begin with, let alone being in one. It took a lot of time, effort, and dedication to get to that point, but you made it! Bonus if you ran a campaign throughout the duration of this process and in the end, managed to ask him out (or even the other way around), honestly, how could he say not to that?! Like I said, dedication.

Idia plays a lot of combat games, but he knows that you aren't the biggest fan of them, and given just how heated he can get over these matches, he is careful about how out of hand these games get. While he may not have a cat to help comfort you when you do choose to play a combat game, he has plenty of squishmellows. Feel free to go and choose one!

Game night dates, 100%. This man is the very definition of an introvert. If you opened a dictionary to look up the meaning of the word, his name is right there in big bold letters. So the fact that you are also more of an introvert is like a dream come true to him. No one to try and pull him out of his room for outdoor time. You two could just curl up in his room watching the latest slice of life anime, play tabletop games, or any of the various games that he has.... which is a lot.

He will never be able to admit this without his hair turning fifty shades of pink, but he loves to be able to hear you sing. The fact that you practiced for as long as you did to harness such a skill is always something that impressed him. Sure, he's had to work for years to harness certain skills that he has but nothing as skilled as working with your own voice.

Overall, honestly it's just a very wholesome relationship that you have with the gloomy housewarden. He is just thankful that you actually put up with someone like him with how self-depricating that he is about himself. But you make him smile, you make him happy, and he certainly hopes that you feel the same way.

[vacantgodling]

😍, 🔥 and 💌 for Lavendula 👀👀👀

get ready for miss intellectual art nerd who has barely any experience feeling like she owns her attraction but is doing her best!!!!!

😍 : What does your OC find irresistible in others?

genuinely strong willed people, or people that take up space, force themselves to be heard, and do not let other people shake their will to speak for themselves. she admires hya for it and wishes she could be more like him; she eventually falls for erecia for it because not only does erecia never back down from any adversary she is unwavering and kind and she’s never seen those two things meshed together before; she admires myrtus for not making it so cold and brash but showing how even in complacency you can fend for yourself. a lot of it is desire to attribute those things to herself and as such she can’t help but seek it in those around her.

🔥 : What’s a surefire way to make your OC get flustered?

genuine compliments on who she is and what She enjoys. she’s never held any particular water towards her appearance or her physical attributes. but compliment her passion, her creativity, her mind, and she’s immediately both suspicious and abashed. seal the deal and earn a shy, pleased smile by flattering her on the things you notice she cares about in herself: admire her charcoal coated hands, or the calluses she has from holding a brush, admire her wit and voice when she speaks aloud. you’ll gain mad points with her :DD

💌 : How would they plan a romantic evening for a significant other?

lavendula is very thoughtful and astute person, which translates to how she shows her love. she would orchestrate something to her lover’s tastes whether it be a romantic drive or ride on the town, to the theatre, to a gallery, or stargazing etc. she would make sure to have a careful itinerary of everything that they would enjoy and they want to do and would make sure everything went off without a hitch. to end the night would probably be a romantic bath with candles and smelling salts and perhaps a massage 👀

[confessionsofa-frat-rat]

literary love

in admitted risk of sounding like every twenty and some change year old girl, and as one raised in a library, i feel so written when i think about you. i smile, my chest gets all glowey, like every paperback heroine when she touches THAT sword.. yanno?

if we just suspend our disbelief for this comparison, those glowey brunette girls always have a literal written in stone soulmate, right?

i mean if we’re really being honest… by at least chapter three, a tenured reader would know, that they’ll be together in the end.

so is it truly my fault if i can’t help but smile when your name pops up on my phone? is it my fault that i think about the things we could do together? the way we could be?

if i was gunna blame someone for my sensitive heart wishing for that feeling, i would hang the librarian!

until now i could have been talking about literally any boy ever. here’s where i admit things that i know i shouldn’t. and for the sake of my poetry, let’s keep the literary theme yeah?

if i am our brave heroine, and you are my opposite, you have to compliment me right? those are authors rules. so for example, pretty boy, you check every box for my novel. every single one. in the book i’d say, “he is loyal, he has brothers he’d give his life for. he is smart, he can solve any puzzle. he’s brave, performing in front of the judges. he is strong, the ice is so cold but never phases him. he is witty, the only person that challenges me in conversation. he is my muse, could inspire histories most prolific artists. he is talented, he could sew a dress fit for any royalty”

isn’t that so romantic and wordy?

the truth is, we’re modern young adults lost in societies stupidest test…. college. so if i ever had to describe you it would actually sound like this, “omg he’s so perf he’s in a frat, he games, he does theatre, he plays hockey, he’s so fuckin funny, and dude he’s soooo sexy too i could cry. aND he does cosplay dude my perf nerd boy”

but that’s no fun.. right?

to conclude my rambling… (when i typed that i truly heard my senior year lit teacher screaming at us to not start a concluding paragraph with ‘in conclusion’…. and after such a literary themed poem.. i should know better) BUT IN CONCLUSION

i wanna feel myself fall for you like it’s the first few chapters of a YA fantasy novel, but we’re not, so instead i’ll just hope with my whole body that i check your modern college kid boxes too.

and maybe in my dreams we can fight dragons together.