#the text says ���whats done is done/you know this isnt real’

[derpycatsu]

icarus

[girlcrushau]

[etherealkissed88]

applying the law while experiencing the 3d

why do you accept the neutral 3d as true?

“she texted me saying she doesnt want a relationship”

“i got a rejection letter from my dream college”

“i still dont have my ideal appearance”

“my bank account says i only have $2.45”

-> “i cant manifest” “what should i do now?” “it didnt work”

why are you accepting these as true? why are you adding negative meaning to the neutral 3d and then accepting that you “cant manifest”? why accept that as true? whatever happens in the 3d is always neutral. meaning does not come on its own - you add meaning when you judge it and decide its something negative. you are the only one in power and you have the option to choose what to assume and accept as true and youre accepting that she didnt want to commit? youre accepting that youre broke? it doesnt matter what happens in the 3d because the real stuff is happening in imagination. the 3d is always a neutral illusion. as the only one in power, you chose that she wants you in imagination so stick with that. dont use the 3d as validation when it only follows you.

you always get to choose the meaning

3d -> she sent a text saying she doesnt want a relationship

person A: shit, she doesnt want me. now what? i failed at manifesting

person B: *knows that is only neutral & still knows she and her sp are already in a relationship in imagination*

the fact that you can look at something in the 3d and decide what it means (or stick with the fact that it has no meaning), means you have power over it. you always have power over the 3d. if you didnt, how does law of assumption even exist? how is it possible that a homeless woman can manifest wealth while living in her everyday 3d homeless life? because the 3d never matters. ever. the only thing that matters is who you are being in imagination because that is what constantly is molding the 3d every second.

“but what do i do if the 3d is always in my face?”

1. remember that the 3d is always neutral so whatever happens, doesnt mean anything. it doesnt mean, your getting failing at manifesting. get used to seeing things as neutral. even getting your manifestation is neutral. you are the one adding positive meaning to it. there are even times when “negative” things in the 3d become the actual thing that leads people to their manifestation. an example is a lady’s success story: she was manifesting a better job and in the 3d she lost her current job but that lead to someone recommending her to a higher company since the person knew she lost her previous job. so she experienced something that is usually seen as negative (losing her job) but it caused her to get exactly what she wanted (the better job). this is why we always say: stick to the end, no matter what happens, stay true to what you want in imagination.

2. now that you know everything is neutral, remember that your only job is to assume your desire is fulfilled in imagination only! theres no reason to assume you have it in the 3d if it clearly isnt there. the 3d is neutral and a therefore a dead world. assuming you have something in a dead world is just useless. especially since you know imagination changes the 3d. that means the only goal is to assume its done in imagination and leave the 3d alone! live your normal life in the 3d while knowing its already done in imagination. using the lady’s success story about getting a better job, when she lost her previous job, she had to find another way to pay the bills, but she still stayed true to imagination and remembered she already has her upgraded job. do whatever you need to do in the 3d, feel whatever emotions you have, because the dead world doesnt matter. emotions, actions, etc in the 3d dont matter and remember feelings (angry, depressed, etc) dont manifest. your only job is to know its already done in imagination. since imagination = 3d, of course, by law, the 3d had no choice but to obey imagination where she already had her better job. thats why the 3d reflected that.

kisses, jani ☆

[samofmine]

i have this hc that if sam and dean need to part ways for some reason or if they're away from each other for too long they won't stop texting/calling each other, to the point it annoys everyone.

like, dean will be on the car with jody after just leaving the bunker and he'll call sam and tell him something he forgot to say before they left and its obviously just an excuse and jody rolls her eyes.

"you just saw him 3 minutes ago. did you think he disappeared?"

she expects a laugh but dean becomes tense and well, okay. not really something to joke about around him. she watches him grab his phone again to send a text and she wont even pretend like it's for someone else.

or sam will be at the grocery shop and call dean to ask what is the brand of frozen pizza he usually buys (they get the same every time but he has to be sure). and then he calls again to let him know he's done and will be home in a few minutes.

dean texts him stupid jokes as well, because if sam isnt there to hear them at least he can read them and not miss out on how funny he is. sam only replies to them with lol or 🙄.

sometimes when it's the middle of the night and they are each in their own rooms and sam gets too anxious about whatever crap they're currently facing and he can't fall asleep, he calls dean to hear his voice tell him something he forgot to say or to ask a question about whatever they have to do tomorrow.

sometimes dean wakes up from a bad dream and calls sam just to remember what's real. he doesnt say anything, and sam is used to it already, so he tries to comfort him "it's okay, de. it was just a bad dream. you're okay. we're safe."

when sam has his nightmares, he's always reluctant to call dean but dean always hears him waking up, even when he doesn't scream, so he calls him instead. he never addresses the nightmares, just keeps talking about random stuff until sam's heart slows down enough

they never really got used to sleeping alone, but of course they don't go knocking on each other's bedroom door and letting themselves in. that would be weird.

they fall back asleep with their phones on their ears more than once.

[todomemolesta18]

Okayyyy, Im ready and back again to complain about Stolitz, cause the trailer gave me new content to complain about :)

So, first of all, OMG, DONT TELL ME THAT "APOLOGY TOUR" IS GONNA BE ABOUT FUCKIN STOLAS AGAIN. AND VEROSIKA IS IN THAT EP, LIKE- GET THAT UGLY ASS BIRD OF THE SCREEN, PLEASE, I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT VEROSIKA.

We already know how traaaagic your childhood was and how obssesed in love you are with someone you met ONCE in your childhood. DONT STEAL SCREEN TIME FROM VEROSIKA.

Also, the text behind him saying "Blitzo sucks" *trembles in rage*. You... stupid... fuckin... selfish... BIRD.

SUPOSEDLY YOU WANNA BREAK OFF THE DEAL CAUSE "THIS ISNT RIGHT". BUT THEN, WHY ARE YOU SINGING IN FRONT OF TEXT THAT SAYS "BLITZO SUCKS".

Does that mean that he is victimizing himself AGAIN??? Why??? What did Blitzo do to you? Maybe... *gasp* didnt want anything to do with you? Cause the real reason Stolas broke off the deal was cause he wanted to date with Blitzo and the deal made things icky *you shouldnt have done that in the first place, stupid-* But when Blitzo called him out on it *i supose* he got mad and victimized himself?

Yeah, there is no way I like him now. People like to say he had character development, but no. Suddenly changing a character is not "character development". A character learns. Realizes their mistakes and from that, THEY CHANGE. But thats not what happens with Stolas. He doesnt admit his faulth. Even if he did, they never show it on screen, cause they cant admit he made mistakes *BIG ONES*. So they just... changed him and called it character development, and peple fell for that.

*sigh*

Also, why is he looking at Blitzo so ugly??? So mad??? Like, wtf dude? BLITZO IS THE VICTIM, YOU HURTED HIM.

STOP. VICTIMIZING. YOURSELF!!!!!!

[erabu-san]

You are literally French. What would you know about any of this, an issue and drama stirred up by anericans.

Blackwashing exists and is used by bigots that hate white people. Its used to erase the ethnicity of asians just because people dont think they are "poc enough" because of their pale skin. Its used to demonize people with pale skin because its becoming more and more the norm to view anyone with pale skin as evil. That anyone who is "too pale" isnt enough or a human being.

They arent real people, and their skintones are fine as is. You wouldnt go up to, for example an albino or mixed race black/poc person and tell them they arent "dark enough". They dont even need to be special like that to be pale. Some just are pale.

Whether you think there should be more characters that are dark or not is not the issue. Its that you think they wouldnt be/arent good enough as is with pale skin that shows how much of a bigot you are.

Blackwashing is not the progressive act you think it is. Its obvious that your only experience with it is through genshin drama. You obviously know nothing about how much red haired pale characters & asian ones are substituted with black characters. How characters are simply replaced in the name of "diversity". How this forced inclusivity and diversity is just bigots trying to "get revenge" on the white people they hate so much, and to tick off DEI boxes on their little bigoted checklist.

You tell me to educate myself but its actually YOU who needs to be educated.

Many are complaining about sumeru and natlan characters with names similar to gods in cultures of our world that are pale when their inspiration is dark skinned. Claiming they want representation and for it to be accurate, to reflect our world on a 1-1 scale.

Yet these same people will make xiao, zhongli, Ei, and many more asian characters darker " because asians can be dark skinned too". Yet so can mostly dark skinned races be pale.

So why cant you (gen) respect such characters, who are gods and divine beings based on a culture where pale is more beautiful, and gods of such cultures are pale?

There is hypocrisy in everything to do with blackwashing. Its okay when its done to pale characters because in real life black people have been oppressed? But these characters are not real, nor are they a reflection of our reality, as far as we have seen they dont even have racism in this fictional world.

It is one thing to explore a character like with the recent hatsune miku trend, atleast there most people arent going at each other's throats saying black miku is better than japanese miku(as far as i have seen)

Seriously how can you even begin to justify this. And who ever told you that dark skinned characters "scare white people" is an absolute fucking liar trying to justify their own bigotry towards white people.

No black washing IS just as disgusting as whitewashing. Neither should exist, and you shouldn't feed into the stupid circle jerk of bigotry that both of them are.

Aaaah that's what I like ! Yes ! Thank you for telling me your opinion, explaining what is wrong. I absolutely love to learn, and I prefer to read this long text calling me ignorant and explaining why that just a simple text of you saying you are annoyed by a fanart.

Thank you for telling me ! First yes I am french, and indeed my culture has more an european pov. But again, I also grow up as a minority "race" with my parents culture !🙏 in france, i don't look like a french. Well. Still I am aware that it doesn't remove anything from what I said

And I totally agree with you, some are just pale !! It just happens I draw Kinich black because I like it like this. Is Kinich true inspiration are actually pale ? Tell me more, I wish to learn !!

Tbh when you talk abt gods being pale is beautiful, I thought about Nahida. I did research when she were out and yes, I do agree, there is character who are fine as they are.

And because I live in France I also see "dark skin scare white" as a true fact. It happens and it is harmful. 🧍 not only in France tho, in country where pale skin is portrayed as beautiful, people who have tan skin are less represented even if it is the majority. I suppose the contrary happens too !!

"Character are not real" and yet you are annoyed, I guess it is the action of "blackwash" that make you mad, more than "a fictional character w diffent skin tone" tho! My opinion is fiction does affect real world, as do real life affects fiction, and this is something I won't debate on

"They don't have racism in this fictional world" sorry but it does in Sumeru. 🙏 about this one npc she is reject by forest and desert because of them being mixed, desert not being access to book and even Cyno said his scholarship was complicated because he is from desert

If you wish to continue, please send me DM with arguments. I don't know if I would change my mind of not drawing Kinich pale, but I am super interested about what you have to say !! 👍👍

[sillylilyposting]

Fusion is a SYMBOLIC REPRESENTATION of THE TWO CHARACTERS RELATIONSHIP

Metaphors don't have to replace shit you dumb fucking....

I am struggling to even begin to fucking put into words the flagrant wrongness of her ranting here..

Reflection isnt really a THING the way Lily says, An Example: A characters living space being dirty/in disrepair to reflect their poor mental state; Isn't reflection its symbolizing or symbolism, this is real basic like high school reading the great gatsby level shit here, its a... SYMBOLIC METAPHOR of an ABSTRACT state of mind in a physical manner in the media in question

Metaphors CAN exist alongside real literal meaning, in the example above their poor mental state IS as real as the squalor the person lives in that can have actual significants in the story beyond its metaphor or it equally doesn't need to (depending on the story your telling it may never come up again)

Relationships while can be generally understood are still ephemeral immaterial an abstract things meaning symbolizing them with physical stand in can make a good metaphor like fusion

Since I'm teaching here might as well say for anyone who don't know, similies are their own thing, done for description most often in text because unless you have narration or two characters yapping in a show/movie slipping in similies can be difficult (in my opinion)

Foil, a Foil? A character who contrasts the protagonist/other character in not just the straightforward sense but in themes and or motifs?

What does "Representative Concepts" mean lily? Could it perhaps be related to metaphors that are REPRESENTATIVE of SOMETHING ELSE?

All this is to say it becomes really easy for Lily to convince herself she is a good critic when she is content making up her own terms and definitions to concepts in writing and storytelling then acting like everyone else is dumb for not knowing this thing she made up 4 minutes ago which makes for a TERRIBLE critic and writer!

[janmisali]

been a while since I've done this but check out this comment. what are they talking about (transcription under the cut)

/hj is simple. It just means when you see it, youre supposed to go, "ha". Not "ha, ha, ha" like fully laughing, or " " like its not funny, just "ha". Thats all it means. /j means you go "ha, ha, ha" and /s means dont get irritated because they are not serious. You dont have to laugh but you dont have to cry either. No tone indicator is created for you to go back to the text to figure out what the tone indicator means, because most people will never do that, hence the meaning is created by the response and not whats inside the text. Thats natural language for you. Created by people doing illogocal stuff, not logic. Technically it is logical though. Its just not using the logic you would assume it to. You cant just assume that. You have to take everything that can affect the creation of language into account.

The tone indicator is useful when you want some1 to react by something. There are these awkward moments when you in a group (irl) tell a joke and every1 half laughs, but one guy goes fully laughing and its weird. This tone indicator is so that every1 knows to half laugh so that people can know that online as well. Communicating just isnt created like a certain word in a certain place or some word combination always should create a defined response. Tone indicators just try to control that response, which is why they exist. Its not complicated.

And yes its too stupid imo, ive given up on real language a long time ago, created languages are much more interesting to me at least.

Let me just go off the track completely and also super personal and define autism, because why not. Ive tried to do this before but i feel like now ive found the tools to do it better. Autistic people are people who are sensitive to information. Any kind of information, any kind of sensitive. Any kind of sensitive includes being non-sensitive and sensitivity fluctuations. Any kind of information can be sound, visual information like light or subjective information like text and it includes information fluctions. That is why autistic people can be very smart. That is also why they can be very dumb. Or both at the same time.

For example, here you show extreme intelligence for making an 18-minute video about language that doesnt make sense by logic, which it doesnt, which is a pretty important realization, but you also show a little of assuming your logic is the best which it isnt. Your logic is unaware of how the logic that goes into creating that language we all speak. It is the average human that creates language, because natural language is the most accessible to the average human. And so you have to think how does/would the average human react. The average human will laugh when they see /hj. They need no reasoning, thus reasoning is not needed in the language. I could literally say a comment of "hi. /hj" and for the average 100 iq person, that is a good joke or not, and it needs no reason to be or not be. Thats why comedy is so hard because for the average person it needs no reason to be funny, hence it either is or isnt. The best laughs are the laughs that have no reason, because thats when your instincts take over and make you feel good about yourself.

We obviously know autism with lights and sound is pretty much chronic. But i wonder, how chronic are they with logic. Because you can certainly be less sensitive to certain kinds of logic and more sensitive towards other kinds, it just isnt generally included in autism since its pretty common in neurotypical people too. I would go as far and say that autism was created from people doing irrational things with logic, and surviving better because they bamboozeled the people that used logic, thus the genes caught on and were like, "bro, were currently just taking in information, and treating it like its random, and we survive better, how about we cut the middleman and just interpret the information randomly straight away since it seems to work so well". I could be wrong but if its true that there were no autistic people before or there arent autistic animals in any other group of animals, that could be the reason why - our ability to think better caused us to also be able to get confused by randomness, thus people acting randomly can cause people to get confused and thus have the randomly acting people survive better and thus evolution of genes can catch on to the way of acting and make it genetical.

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[schlattslonghairytoes]

chapter ten

real life!

schlatts pov

as i handed my phone to talia i was nervous, i felt as if my text i had sent her all those years ago wouldnt make up for what i did to her, i wasnt sure how she would react. but as she looked up at me, eyes overflowing with tears, i had hoped she even started to forgive me.

real life!

talias pov

i continued reading the unsent text and with every word i began to cry harder, through most of high school, schlatt was always there for me, but i wasnt there for him when he needed me, and although i would like to forget most of senior year, i cant help but think how schlatt must of felt.

his grandpa, mike, was his best friend, the one who taught him baseball, and all of his jokes, and i wasnt even aware he passed. i was so wrapped up in myself and my problems that i didnt stop an d think there was a reason outside of him hating me.

i get to the end of the message "and no one could ever be you" his words ringing through my ears even though they were never said, i had felt the same way about him, it was always him, schlatt.

i put the phone down and look up at him, his eyes slightly teary, yet holding his composer well, i feel his thumb wipe away a tear, but all i can think about is how lonley he must of felt, not just me.

i wrap my arms around his torso and hug him tightly, and i start to cry even harder, i feel his hands thread through my hair. i rest my head in the crook of his neck and sob. "im so sorry jay, im so so sorry" i bawl

"hey, hey im the one whos suppos'd to be apologizing here" he lifts my head with his hand and wipes the rest of my tears "this whole mess isnt your fault, you have nothing to apologise for" he pleads while still holding my face in his hands.

"i didnt even know mikey died jay, i wasnt there for you, i shouldve checked on you, or something, i should of done something." i cried, i felt his arms wrap around me, and hold me with so much comfort. "baby i wasn't there for you. you were homeless lia, and i didnt even know, we both made mistakes." he said rubbing my back softly.

"all i hope is that you can forgive me." he pleaded. "jay i forgave you the moment i saw you at that party, breaking up those two guys." i laugh, and his eyes widened "you were there? did you see who was fighting?" he asked urgently

i tried to think but i couldnt figure it out. "no why?' i ask. "talia, i was the one fighting, it was alex, from high school. he was saying horrible shit about you, saying you guys were a thing, and that i missed out and i punched him, but my buddy hasan came in and finished him off." he laughs.

that caught me off guard, even when i hadnt spoke to him in over 2 years, he still defended me. he really did care about me. i threw myself back into him and hugged him even closer. i still loved him as much as i did back then "thank you" i say into the crook of his neck.

"no, thank you for hearing me out, i know ive been a bit of a dick these past few days and, i, guess these past few years, but i promise you, im gonna fix it." he says, looking down at me with the softest, yet guiltiest eyes ive ever seen. 

"you already have."

real life!

schlatts pov

as talia rests beside me, i feel everything start to mend itself, slowly, but im sure its gonna, "wanna go get food?" i ask. she nods and i get up and walk to the door but it wont open. "what the fuck" i mutter to myself. "hey did you lock the door" i look back at talia sitting up and stretching when i see her hoodie slide up i turn my attention right back to the door.

"no i dont think i did, wait what you literally came in after me?" she gets up and tries to open the door herself. "wait why would the door lock from the outside anyways?" i ask, im so confused so i call charlie "hey man, the door to talias room is broken can u help us?" all i hear is laughter on the other end of the call

"did you guys talk it out?" i hear ted ask "yes theodore kennedy we spoke now let us out." im starting to get a bit pissed. then hansum pipes up. "not until you two admit youre in love and want eachother desperately" when he starts moaning into the mic i decide its time to hang up.

"no luck?" she asks. "nope." i look around and remember our rooms are connected through a bathroom. "theres no way there smart enough to lock both our doors right" and turns out i was right.

we decide to sneak out so we dont have to get everyone else food and we eventually make it to the car. she puts her feet covered in strawberry socks on my lap and i see her take a picture when we make it on the road and start aggressively typing

"may i ask why a picture of me was taken?" i ask politely. she looks up at me and smiles "no" and i decide to move on. later that night i see she posted on instagram.

instagram!

taliasgrill

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4 minutes ago

~~~the next day~~~

one of the last things that the group had planned to do, besides go shopping, was go to the san diego zoo.

tyler kept asking us all to go and we finally decided we would, the morning of i had woken up to charlie jumping on my bed like a gorilla so i knew today would be a long one.

i went downstairs only to find ted tried to make monkey-shaped pancakes and set off almost all the smoke detectors, so again, i felt the impending doom of the day coming on strong.

"are you guys filming for lunch club today?" i sat down at the counter, ted charlie tyler and travis were all in various parts of the kitchen. ted told me they were infact making a video and i could be in it if i wanted to, but i denied his offer.

my plan was that brittany was meeting me at the zoo so we could vlog, and i would meet back up with the boys when they had finished.

as much as i loved being with them, i always felt like i was intruding on their time together, so i opted out of this one, i was really excited to see brittnay though. 

"dont you guys think we should just get breakfast on the way" schlatt said as he strut down the stairs. wearing his iconic tims he has managed to not fuck up in all the time ive known him.

i also noticed he was wearing a very familar shirt, one that i had bought him years prior, and though i choose not to comment, i thought it made him look very cute.

we all loaded into our cars, i was driving schlatt, ted, tyler and Charlie. while travis was driving everyone else. "SHOTGUN!" i hear schlatt yell from the front door, before he flys by me into the passenger seat.

"wow you wanna sit with your girlfriend so bad" tyler laughs

"and what about it, huh?" schlatt jokes back

"yo, what the fuck?" tylers head jerks forward at that remark.

"please dont listen to him." i get into the front seat and start up the car, charlie begs to be on aux, and of course i let him cause hes my favorite.

by the time we arrive all the boys are fed and ready for a long hot day at the zoo, we arrive scan our tickets and i see britney in the distance. the moment i spot her i run and jump in her arms.

"ive missed you bitch!" i yell and jump "im so happy youre here, i need a break from all the testosterone." she laughs at me

"and you think im the best place for that." and at that, i die laughing, brittnay has always been one of the funniest people out there.

all the boys walk back over to us and say hi to brittnay before shoving a camera in my face.

"everyone say bye mommy!" ted says in a baby voice. a chorus of byes and way too many mommies come from the boys before they all take off, but schlatt lingers for a moment. 

"text me if you need anything or if you just wanna see me, ok?" i laugh at him "yes, now go before the kids get hurt, please make sure they dont do anything too stupid." "yes mommy" he runs off before i can slap him.

i turn to britney and she deadpans at me "we have alot to fucking talk about." i laugh before responding.

"oh yes we certainly do."

hours later me and brit are sat on the sky trolley when schlatt, ted, charlie, and there other friend, who i dont belive ive met, pass by us.

"HIII!" i yell out the cart. all their heads turn in our direction and i hear schlatt yell "DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT A ROTH IRA IS??" but dont have time to respond.

britney takes a long slurp of her coke before placing it down next to her. "did you guys fuck?" she asks seriously.

"ever, or like recently?" i laugh.

"i know the answer to ever, but recently, i know y'all are good now, but the tension is maing me horny."

"no brit we have not had sex within the last two years." i look down at my phone and see a text from schlatt, it says "lions or elephants." i quickly text back, "lion" before putting my phone back in my pocket.

britney and i finished our vlog around 530 and meet back up with the boys. i said my goodbyes to brittnay as i was seeing her very soon. we all loaded back into our cars when schlatt threw a giant lion stuffed animal at me. 

"what the hell is this" i look up at him in the passenger seat.

"i asked lion or elephant and you said lion so." he tries to be nonchalant and go on his phone but i reach over the center consol of my jeep to hug him.

"thank you, seriously, that is so sweet." i say, voice muffled by his shirt

"i remembered you like stuffed animals and i thought of you when i saw it, so.." he trails off, slightly embarrassed. "i love it." i put the lion in my lap and started the car.

5 minutes into the drive, i finally realized how quiet the car really was, i look around and see that every single person in the car except for me and schlatt is asleep, i check on him and he is barely staying awake, fighting sleep.

as the car ride went on i thought about me and him, what was going to happen after the trip, he was going to go back to new york, and i was going to stay in California, but now that i had him back, i wasnt willing to lose him

i wasn't going to let him slip through my fingers again.

[fubuwu]

Fuck it. Since I'm being spat on and tarnished by jc antis I'm unashamedly doing call out posts as they have harassed me on all my posts and got their little friends to gang up on me. Starting with this "lovely" person

Calling me an abuse apologist just because I said that madame yu had tough love methods..... I was in no way excusing her abuse towards wwx with that FYI. Wwx wasnt even mentioned in the og post.... Never once denied she was abusive in the post either (in fact i ackowledged her abuse numerous times in the post and how her children act around her. But apparently you willfully missed that part). I said she had tough love methods towards her children. NOT WWX. Wwx was not her child or have you forgotten that? She has a tough love attitude in the sense that she toughens up her kids, expects no nonsense, wants them to strive to do better, get on with it, stiff upper lip attitude etc. This does not mean it's a good parenting tactic.

---

Using tough love to describe her parenting technique isn't a compliment. Apparently some of you don't know what it means because tough love, whilst there is love and good intentions behind the actions, it can also have unintended bad consequences on your children and is not a form of love you should expose your child to if you want them to become normal, emotionally stable people.

---

It can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms and suppressing emotions amongst other things I won't go into. I was in no way complimenting her. It was a critique. That should have been obvious. But in your words, ig some of you don't have reading comprehension.

---

To accuse me of something so extreme as excusing abuse over a FICTIONAL CHARACTER and trying to get all your friends to agree and jump on my posts because I never explicitly made the above points obvious is what a bully would do. You know nothing about me and decided to make such allegations over a single post. I will not stand for this bullying.

---

YOU should be ashamed of your behavior. I've seen your other posts and how you talk about and to REAL PEOPLE.

---

You acting all morally superior whilst attacking me and many others like this makes you an abusive person FYI. And I won't sit there and take it from you or your friends.

---

Moving on to specimen number two

This person has been spamming my notifications jumping on EVERY post, being disrespectful and pretty much accusing me, an ace person, for being ignorant about MY OWN IDENTITY and using ace stereotypes just because I surmised that jc could be ace due to his lack of interest in romance.

---

Echoing the words used by another user in the thread, but denying that such ace persons exist is acephobic in itself. I'm an ace person who isnt interested in relationships outside anything that is close, platonic but meaningful. Many others in the jc fandom say the same thing which is why they see themselves in him. A large portion of the jc fandom are actually ace in fact and we love to see him used in ace rep posts. We're already made to feel like freaks, so to have that thrown in my face is very hurtful. Above all twisting my words and making out I said every ace person hates romance is very disingenuous. I NEVER once said that in the post. I wont have my character attacked and lied about like that.

---

Also, once again TWISTING my words, implying I was pissed off about the incel claims when it was so obvious that I was merely asking out of curiosity where these claims come from?? Because it was never implied in the canon text. There was no anger or malice behind my questions. It was all open discussion. I can see now that this was mental gymnastics at play here to justify your hcs that you know are not canon and use it as an excuse to attack my posts with your friends, all because you were proven wrong. You lashed out on what was an otherwise polite discussion. That behavior is all entirely on you.

---

Ive only ever been respectful in my posts and they were never done to provoke arguments or hate on others opinions. So to wake up and be accused of all sorts over a fictional character is very hurtful and just shows how terribly low your side of the fandom has to stoop just to prove a point and hate on jc.

---

Im not tolerating it and these blatant LIES any longer. I hope other jc antis read these posts and see how nasty you all are. And if anyone thinks this sort of treatment is okay, then you need to look inwardly and step away from the computer. I'm done here.

[yanpsychobitch]

Tw for the text below: r@pe, abuse, suicidal thoughts

Everyone is glad to be alive but to confess I would rather be dead. Long life in cycle of loneliness. Long nights full of kisses and compassion. At this point I no longer can tell who I am. At this point I no longer can tell what is good and what is bad. Everything merges into the color of vicious green.

Should I even stay alive? My broken lences are no secret no more. Am I even able to love? No one in this world could bring the accurate answer. Your and their eyes hold the same stare: the unforgiving judgement. Everyone sees beauty in you but the only thing I could see was an endless suffering.

Everyone is glad to be alive but when I declare my death wish the room suddenly goes quiet. Long life in a chain of pain. Long dreams about love and fame. Who will take home the broken man tonight? Who will end the broken man's sence of self and life? The only thing I was sure about that night was the smell of your strong parfume and your lips vicious green.

Your promises, sensations make me go out of my mind. Have mercy on me unforgiving oh so cruel Maria. I knew I saw something strange in the way you moved, you smiled at me. Theres no one left for me in this world except you oh my sweet Maria.

The happiness seems so far away. Way too far away when you entered my life. The way you spoke to me oh I felt so blessed until you grabbed my neck and forcefully stuck it in. You said ,,doesnt it feel just great?" while I didnt feel great at all. Repeating things again and again is just a process to love something eventually.

Can I even describe how I feel now? Will anyone even save me now? The fact I feel still alone lying next to you should speak for itself but I am just too desparate and that blind. All the things man will do for love while he can't even love himself. No one can save me now from descending into darkness, not even the strongest of your gods.

The happiness seems so far away. Way too far away when you kissed me for the first time. They way you spoke to me oh it felt so great until you actually showed me your real face. You said ,,it couldnt have been that bad" while I felt the worst in my entire life. Going on with the conversation I instantly knew I got myself trapped.

All the little things and the bigger things, the heinous and good acts we have done. Where should I run away from you when I know all the roads lead to hell? Youre trying to tell me something but I can't hear a thing and when I talk neither can you. Someone just please kill me already. The only certain thing in my life is your strong grip and the flame in your eyes vicious green.

These feelings of love and pain makes me to go insane. Be patient with me cruel oh so unmercifull Maria. You knew there was something strange about me yet you chose me to torment and laugh at my tears. The only hell and heaven for me is you oh my sadistic Maria.

The happiness seems so far away. Way too far away with the words you say. The way you held me and declared you loved me oh I felt so blessed until you crushed my sence of self. You said ,,you would be much better that way" while I already knew how much big of a failure I am. The only thing  I knew was I will never be enough if I want to become complete and one with the strong and the vicious green.

Everyone isnt so glad to be alive when I propose my wish and laugh straight to their faces. Long life of foolish dreams about love. Long nights of despising your existence. Will there ever be place for me to stay? Will there ever be person capable to love me? The only thing I was sure about was cycle of hate and violence within your embrace and your poisoned words vicious green.

The bruises and traumas are making me feel so loved. Have mercy on me cruel oh so unforgiving Maria. I knew there was something special in your ways, your fears and rules. That makes us the same and deserving of each other oh my vicious green my dear Maria.

If youre reading this sentence I love you cuz you have actually read all of that shit

[beesmygod]

JJBA PART 5, VENTO AUREO IS THE UNDERBAKED MESS I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT FIXING...PART 1

imagine you are celebrating your big promotion at the pigeon crushing factory (in this world you make a living crushing pigeons into a cube, this isnt important) and decide to treat yourself to a delicious hibachi feast at the local grill. as you sit down, your chef introduces himself to you; to your surprise, the chef is reknown mangaka hirohiko araki!

"wow, amazing!" you think to yourself, "i can't wait to see what delicious treats he has waiting for me, especially after that scrumptious part 4 i had last time". araki smiles knowingly, seeing the recognition of his talent in the gleam of your wide eyes. with a dramatic flourish, begins his work. a wild and frenzied solo performance begins. ingredients are chopped and flung with dazzling accuracy, speed, and showmanship until you are presented with the fruits of his labor: a new dish, just for you.

there's one problem. he forgot to turn on the grill. or maybe he never meant to. his confidence leaves you unsure of what to do when he starts flinging raw onions into your mouth and encouraging you to chew. like the tragic chef from the clickhole video, he has served you a plate of raw chicken and vegetables and is now looking at you with his arms crossed over his chest waiting for you to dig in.

its not all bad. you can eat some of the veggies as long as they don't touch the chicken, but the majority of it is inedible. you didnt even get to see him do the cool onion thing. you push the plate back unfinished and hoping for an explanation for what the fuck just happened but when you look up, you realize araki has already left. his big chef hat and coat are lying on the floor where he shed them on his new journey to start a raw foods store having discovered his passion for organic veggies. next time you crush so many pigeons you get another promotion, you try the new store and its delicious. can't fault him, i guess!

this is the experience of watching jojo part 5.

---

and LOOK. i'm not lacking in perspective here. its presumptuous to say "i can do better" or "i could fix this" when it comes to anyone's work, let alone the work of someone singular like hirohiko araki. no one's brain operates the way his does, as evidenced by the paltry and weak attempts by the spin-off artists who struggle to recapture that same magic; they all lack whatever je ne se quoi araki has tapped into that's off limits to every other human on planet earth.

straight up, my approach to storytelling is too conventional to be a good replacement for araki's (who seems to be just completely unhinged both on and off the page) so my suggestions to "fix" part 5 are going to be broad strokes and not finely tuned fanfictions. there are just...things i would have like to see happen. and the list is long enough that i think it necessitates that this essay be done in parts. but everything you need to fix it is right there within the existing text. much like the bad meal, the manga (presumably, i only watched the anime. no! stop booing me!) has all the ingredients, the passion, and the skills to create a satisfying end result, its genuinely just missing the ability to bring it all together in a satisfying way. and it is so, so frustrating to watch unfold from the comfort of your couch.

however, for people not in the jojo know-know (who are just reading this bc it started with a pigeon crushing metaphor and you wanted to see where it was going), i do have to explain the historical lens we have to consider with part 5: it wound up being the first evolutionary step of araki's change in art style and story-telling conventions. the fashion aesthetics are wilder, the stakes are bigger, and the stands (WAY) more esoteric. with hindsight, we can look back and understand that it turned out to be weird because he was experimenting in real time (as artists who work serially have to due to the nature of the job) with what he was interested in and what he wanted to explore. so there's nothing WRONG with part 5 in the cosmic sense. and it wasn't without entertainment. and most of the characters were great!

it just that this whole thing causes me enough mental anguish to think about day in and day out to the point of writing what will turn out to be an embarrassing amount of words about my objectively least favorite part of a body of work i've come to adore. its fine. whatever.

come with me...join me whether you know jojo or not, as i try to stay sane tonight and many other nights. watch with concern and glee i rant incoherently about things that will make me seem like an absolute raving lunatic to anyone who is only barely familiar with the franchise and loosely understands it, as i only did, as a series about people who do pokemon but with ghosts who punch people.

first up, i need to do some comic work, and then we can talk about AHHH

OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT OF HERE! GET THAT BEAST AWAY

AHHH

[stupidrant]

at the end of the day, i'm looking forward for what santa monica have planned out in terms for character arcs and storylines, because i trust them on this and they have me very impressed with the superb writing in the games. there are still many questions left unanswered and i know this was done on purpose so that they could be answered in the next installments. like what happened to the other giants, will the aesir and vanir cooperate post-ragnarok? will there be reparations from the aesir?

i doubt there will be any forced interactions between thrud and angrboda. though i do understand if angrboda would need some time before speaking to her (remember, in the game angrboda mostly spoke to her fellow jotnar atreus & gryla, along with kratos, mimir, and freya. she has not spoken to an aesir and understandably so. why would she anyways? they killed her people.)

i would love to see some type of soul-searching and accountability on thrud's part. yes yes the child is not to blame for the father's sin, but she was raised with whatever aesir propaganda odin & co. came up with. a step forward, true courage and righting wrongs would be an amazing thing to see from her.

real life example; my ancestors did commit unspeakable acts of war crimes against a group of human beings, i am not proud of this part of history and deeply ashamed of it. i would totally understand if someone whose family suffered from what my people did would want to stay away from me. even though it's not my fault personally, but the wounds run deep. then it's my responsibility to respect that, and work for how i can help to heal some of the wounds.

another note: friendships between girls are much appreciated than rivalry, solidarity between girls of different backgrounds (real, mutual respect and admiration and love) is vital to see just in general but also for this series. i do think angrboda needs more friends, especially girl friends. so i'm an optimist, i'm sure there will be something for her that will make me cry tears of joy. (THANK YOU FOR READING THIS WALL OF TEXT HAHAHAHA SORRY I HAVE WORMS IN MY BRAIN)

with the way thor died, i think thrud has already started on the soul searching journey as we can see in that post-rag cutscene and that makes the most sense anyways.

unless what will happen is that she uses training as a way to forget everything rather than confront the internal and external issues (which is a repeat of thor’s drinking habits) which would probably in turn go towards her getting over that somewhere in the next game. Atreus isnt responsible for his fathers actions either but theres a chance he goes to random places and says his father’s name and people would look at him funny. Anyways, I would hope they do the former and if any interactions between her and angrboda are present, i hope it will be only good or good awkward ? ones

[quirkthieves]

i really don't want to dignify this with more than i have to, but okay. speedrun to address all those paragraphs because i really did not bother reading most of it i literally just woke up

-a dni isnt a callout. its just a boundary. in fact, the reason i said i didnt want close friends of ire to interact was for reasons like this, where this grown adult proceeds to flip the fuck out on people. i didnt make a callout. there wasnt anything callout worthy. just someone being a douchebag. in fact, i was fine interacting with mutuals of ire and ire themselves all the way up until shit hit the fan, in which case i think im very well justified in saying "yeah i dont think our circles should interlap very much". you know, after ire flipped out on Marx, because marx is a friend of mine and anyone who can do that to a mutual friend just because we're mutual friends and just because marx is friends with lys is ridiculous. i wont go into marx's stuff unless they want me to but are you for real rn

-i can post our full convos if you really want i kept the screenshots but here's the rundown: first: saying rxgelord writing age up smut was just "his business" was kinda weird. im gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didnt really mean it that way because you just wanted to argue semantics with me.

and thats the bigger thing than whether it was about rxgelord, myers, whatever. the reason i left the server and the reason i decided i didnt want anything to do with you was because you went out of your way to nitpick and argue about semantics with me, sometimes for over an hour. with rxgelord? okay, whatever. idc. that guy was deeply unserious anyway. myers? that one was just bad faith because everyone knows we were being facetious and silly with the whole "cheating with himself" thing-- the point was that he had done shit like making alt accounts to date himself when he had actual partners because he was someone who frequently and grossly misused peoples trust, we were just wording it in kind of a jokey way because i did not think you needed that written out for you, and the third one, which wasnt about drama at all and is the ACTUAL reason i left

the third one had to do with me expressing that something in the server had blown up very quickly and gone very fast and was a bit hard to keep up with. i asked maybe we have a log channel and be a bit better about plotting because both myself and others had to deal with unintended consequences on our characters we werent prepared for regardless of how much we participated.

ire then proceeded to spend an hour with me arguing about if it "even actually counted because it was in text format" and saying they "didnt understand discord rp" despite having run servers in the past. this went on for an hour. i was polite, because at no point was ire ever actually bringing up a point that was contrary to my own-- ire was just trying to nitpick what i was saying and went out of their way to call my feelings unimportant, amongst other things. after the rxgelord and myers things, i realized that ire was very dedicated to misunderstanding me at every junction, was intentionally trying to put down how i felt in any given situation regardless of severity, and very much wasting my time. im not stupid. i decided it wasnt worth trying to stick it out and tolerating something that was going to be triggering for me (im in an intensive trauma therapy program right now and being demeaned and nipped at is not going to help when i already spend so much of my week in an episode or the aftermath thereof, and i know i can have a temper problem!), so i left, because unlike ire i felt no need to be hostile to people in the server regardless of how i felt about them. and then ire decided to be a massive dickhole to a bunch of my friends, so now we're here.

kind of weird the focus is on me and how abrasive i am when so much of their shit was about lys, but whatever. shrrrrrrugs. and again, i have the screenshots of our spats in the server but it reallllly doesnt matter? because thats what this is? petty spats? why am i catching this splatter again

anyway, calling me a crazy tweaker and an edgelord for being mad at [looks at notes] the man who gave me a seizure and lied and gaslit me for two years is kinda wild. arent you a dabi roleplayer? you love this shit. put me on your blog, i can send you pics for your graphics and everything.

anyways, back to your regularly scheduled tweaking out. love you all.

[a-very-tired-raven]

OKAY, FINALLY, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!! Welcome, my Grills, Dills, and Nonbinary Eels, to my pride art event!

This is how its all gonna go down! Im going to be doing a pride drawing, of my Oc Ameryllis. Due to some of you wanting to help out in some way, I'll be accepting your OWN drawings of him.

This will go up untill the 18th, which gives you all about a week to submit them.

All references I have of Ameryllis will be posted below, along with text descriptions because my handwriting is shit lmao. You do NOT have to participate if you dont want to.

Also, drawing your own ocs with him is welcome! I dont care what your drawings are, as long as they involve my fruity child. Feel free to ask any questions if needed!!! Also, buckle up, this is a long post. Alrighty *cracks fingers one at a time* Here we go!

A small description of Ameryllis to help get into his character: He was orginally my dolortale metta. Hes long since became his own character(though i may still use him as his orginal role), and i have unfortunately lost his metta design.

Anywho, Ameryllis represents the stage of acceptance in the stages of grief, hence the flowers hes named after. He has a GREAT love for theater, and uses this to help the undergound cope. He might seem stuck up and arrogant at glance, but this isnt the case. Though its incredibly hard to crack open his shell and see the real him. At first, hes a little cold, and hardly ever smiles, this making him hard to read as his emotions are very subtle, though his smug and dramatic demeanor shines through anyhow. Once you get to know him better, you'll find him showing that ever so slight smile more often, and youll see that hes really a total sweetheart, even if he has trouble showing it.( TSUNDERE). Even so hes very much a bitch, one that takes pride in how he dresses, and knows how to appreciate himself. ENOUGH OF THAT, BACK TO THE REFFS!!!!

Description: a large drawing of Ameryllis. There are notes above and beside. The notes are:

•The shorter hair on his left has a splityed part, resembling a triangle or curve.

• Permanent blush across Cheeks and Nose.

• Nose has slight darker color/highlight

• Freckles go across face, and above left brow, and go down the neck in a tight line before spreading a little.

• Cross earring.

Description: A large group of Ameryllis drawings, in the middle is an Outfit description labled 'Fit Check!' Notes surrounding these clothes follow:

• An arrow pointing to a yellow undershirt. The only thing visible when the shirt is worn are the classic puffy sleeves.

• An arrow pointing at a pair of black dress pants, with pockets in the back. To the right id an arrow pointing at a black hair tie.

• The unmarked clothing consists of a back tie/bow, a black cross earring, and a purple vest.

Description 1: Four upclose pictures of Ameryllis sketches. The first features Ameryllis tilting his head in a sly manner, with a grin, showing off a new look, which involves his hair somehow being even more curly then usual. Hes also replying to somehow not shown, saying "What else can I say? I like it~"

Description 2: The second sketch consists of Ameryllis saying his lines on stage, prefroming one of his plays or musicals. While his lines are blurred, his hair is tied for once.

Description 3: A drawing of Ameryllis. His facial expression has him looking in some sort of frustration. Nothing else is shown, so its not clear on if hes pissed at someone, or just done with everything. His hair is clipped into some sort of bun, with some hair hanging lose.

Description 4: A drawing of Ameryllis making a wry comment in mockery to someone not shown. The comment happens to be "Thats just too bad~". He has a pouty expression, seeming to be taunting someone.

Description: A Chibi drawing of Ameryllis.

Description: Two drawings of Ameryllis. The first features said character portraying an unapologetic manner, despite both shrugging and his words. His usual orange eye, is now red in an artistic choice, trying to convay that whoever he was speaking to is looking at someone dangerous. He has a sly grin while saying 'Opps~' which is implying he did something to someone in a ruthless manner.

The second drawing features a side profile of Ameryllis.

(1/2) I will reblog this in just a moment with a couple more drawings, along with the picrew i made his design in so you have a color pallet.