#the stupidity keeps the metaphorical rent low | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

allie1804-fan · 4 years ago

Text

Kerensa

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 , Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

Chapter 9

The Griefcast Record

Keanu got out of the taxi at Whistledown Studios and headed in. Cariad and the recoding team greeted him and they got set up with teas, biscuits and a box of tissues on the table

“God, it’s just like a therapist’s room!” he joked

“Best to be prepared! They might be for me anyhow” she laughed.

Before we start though, can I just spend a moment being a fangirl and just say how amazing it is for me to meet you. There are so many films of yours I love – and my kids adore Duke Caboom!”

“ahh yes, Canada’s Greatest Stuntman” he boomed - “that was a fun role”

“and so perfectly cast right?”

“Yeah yeah I guess. I’m glad they picked me from the roster of Canadians they had lined up!”

“Ok, so thanks for letting me just gush for a moment! Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

“First tell me the story of how we managed to get you as a guest.”

“Ok so right, so errm my friend Kerry is the link. I was filming in Cornwall this past year and uh, after we wrapped I was so charmed by the place that I decided to stay and rent a place for a couple of months down there. Kerry was my landlady and one day I came across her walking along the beach, tears streaming down her face and she was listening to your show which she highly recommended to me. I admit it took a bit of persuading to listen, given the crying thing!, but she told me it was more reassuring and uplifting than upsetting. Anyway, so sorry, this is turning into a shaggy dog tale!, so I did give it a go, really loved it

“Oh thank you”

“So then one day we were discussing an episode about baby loss, something we had in common and had talked about before and she said I should do the show. Now THAT took a lot more thought and persuasion, but she said it would do me good and there would be the angle of the man’s perspective and being someone with a public profile going through loss and you know yada, yada yada so here I am, finally!

“That’s amazing and thank you so much to Kerry for listening to the show and for your persuasive talents in getting this lovely man here today. So Keanu, as you know we always start with this question. Who are we remembering today?”

“Today we’re remembering my daughter Ava who was stillborn 23 years ago this year.”

“Ok so would you mind telling me a little bit about what happened.”

“So, ahh, it was in the spring of 1999. The Matrix had just come out and my life was pretty full on. My girlfriend Jennifer became pregnant around that time. It was unplanned and I’ll be honest, I wasn’t super happy about it at first, but she wanted to keep the baby and I said I’d support her, you know, and as time went on I was more excited than worried about becoming a dad.”

“And how was the pregnancy? How far along was Jennifer when Ava died?”

“Everything seemed fine, she, Ava was growing and developing normally. Jen was healthy. Then I was away filming, a god awful project as well! And, Um, ahh, give me a minute” Keanu cleared his throat and took a drink of water.

“I swore I wouldn’t do this” he said gesturing at himself tearing up, his voice cracking slightly “but sometimes, the memories can be, uhhh, very powerful, very vivid”

“Yes you can be taken right back like it just happened can’t you, however long ago - you know I’m 20 plus years out now and still very occasionally I can be catapulted back there. So, everything looked good but you were away, filming - and I’m sure it can’t have been an awful film”

Keanu snorted

“I assure you it was!, yes anyway, Jen went for a last check up at a little over 8 months and uh, there was no heartbeat. Ava had died and so I flew home and she had to, you know, give birth in a maternity unit, hearing all the other babies being born - I mean they have to do it there because you still might need, you know, that expertise and they tried to keep us private but those places they get busy and she had to go through all that with those sounds sometimes breaking through”

“Yes I hear that that is a common experience here in the UK too and one that SANDS, the still birth charity is trying to address. It’s interesting your choice of words: “she went through that”, presumably you were there so didn’t you go through it too?”

“Yeah, yeah - I guess, I just meant that it was worse, more traumatic mentally for her and obviously physically too”

“Sure sure, but awful for both of you nonetheless”

“Indeed, it was” Keanu paused a moment as though something important had just occurred to him “and she was beautiful too you know”

“awwwww” Cariad moaned sympathetically

“she was beautiful, perfect and warm, just silent, still”

Keanu looked up at Cariad, his eyes filled with tears once more and they both just sat for a moment, taking in the pain of his loss. Eventually, Cariad started the conversation again.

“And did you both hold her? Did the hospital staff help you, you know, to say goodbye to her?”

Yeah yeah, we did hold her. They left us be for a good amount of time, they took prints of her hands and feet and a photograph. You know they were supportive in that way, especially as we knew already, you know, that she had died, they were prepared. I don’t think we were, I mean I don’t think you can prepare for that, right? Your brain won’t let you, not really.”

“Yeah yeah, we talk about that a lot on the show, there are people who say it’s better when someone dies of an illness so you know it’s coming whereas with a sudden death you suffer more shock but I still think there’s a degree of shock you experience even when you have some warning.

“Yeah yeah and it’s so stupid, we’re all just so dumb because death is coming man, to us all but we just don’t want to think about it!” He chuckled

“So are you someone who thinks about death a lot?”

“Yeah yeah it’s always there in the back of my mind, spurring me on to do things, make that film, write that script, build that bike!”

“And do you think that’s because of losing Ava?”

“I don’t know, no not really, well maybe a little but that’s come more with getting older I think - I didn’t really have that reaction at the time”

“So what was your reaction, how did you grieve for Ava?”

Another chuckle came from Keanu.

“A more appropriate question might be how didn’t I grieve for her, at the time I mean!”

“Oh?”

“Hee hee you’re like a therapist, leaving the gaps for me to fill!”

“Some of my critics say I interrupt too much and start talking about me so…..”

“We’ll that’s not very nice is it? And also not true!”

“Thanks - Comes with the territory I guess, so please, go on, fill the gap”

“What was the question again?”

“It was about how you did or didn’t grieve for Ava after her birth?”

“Mmmm well we buried her, in the new year, she was born on Christmas Eve, which is uhhh, another tricky thing about it”

“Oh that’s awful, death on high days and holidays just adds another layer right?”

“Yeah yeah. They do - so um after that I went to Georgia to shoot a movie!”

“So you threw yourself into work then?”

“Yup, my trusty friend in times of crisis. In fact I did, let me see, 1, 2, 3, yes 3 movies in the next year and then started training for the Matrix 2 and 3 so I guess the answer is I put my feelings in a tightly locked metaphorical box and didn’t open it for quite some time!”

“And was there intrusion from the press , I guess this is pre the days of the internet being so developed and social media but how was that side of it?”

“Yeah there was some, you know photographers with long lenses at the cemetery”

“God! I can’t imagine”

“Yeah pretty low, right but in a way because of the taboo of stillbirth, people, you know interviewers and stuff, didn’t ask me about it. I mean I would sometimes say “no personal questions” but at other times that hasn’t stopped people.”

“Oh like what?”

“I’m thinking of when River, River Phoenix died, even if I said I wouldn’t answer anything personal they would still ask how I felt, did I miss him. I mean, fuck! Oh sorry I can swear right?”

“Swear away, sure, and god, fuck yeah, that deserved it. I mean obviously that’s a bit of a contradiction coming from me given we’re here and I’m making you talk about private things but”

“But I agreed, that’s the deal here, it’s not the deal to segue from “how was it jumping onto a moving bus to “how do you feel about your best friend dying!”

“Absolutely. So you said you dealt with it, but much later? What about Jennifer, how did she cope?”

“Umm, I don’t know - I mean what’s normal in that situation? She cried, she wailed like a wounded animal. Her mum moved in. I was away and not there to support her like I should have been. We weren’t really a couple either by then. We were going to co-parent but not as a romantic couple you know so it was complicated. To be honest I think a little bit of her died right then - and then she died herself the following April so you know, what you see before you is the last man standing of that family unit that might have been.”

“Woo that’s tough. You’ve really been through the mill as it were.”

“Yeah, yeah but you know I AM still standing. I’m lucky.”

“And how did Jennifer die?”

“Car wreck”

“I’m so sorry”

“Thanks, me too”

“So how is that, being the only one left? Some people talk about losing key people as losing their witness.”

“Yes! That’s it, exactly. Now it’s just me here to remember Ava, to remember her coming in and out of this world”

Yeah yeah that’s hard. So you said you dealt with it later? How did that come about?”

“Midlife crisis I guess - when I turned 40, I had a bit of a meltdown, you know, wondering about my goals, what I had or hadn’t achieved. I basically “ran away” alone to Paris on my 40th birthday, to escape any awful surprise party! And you know, I quietly fell apart in a vat of wine! When I went home my friend Janey was just like “Keanu, it’s time, time for therapy!”

“Ahhh it’s great isn’t it, big fans of that on the show!”

“Yeah I guess, I mean, ahhh I wasn’t that comfortable taking the lid off but yeah it did me a favour and helped sort my shit out. And a lot of the guilt and pain of losing Ava was gone through belatedly during that process”

“And why did you feel guilty?”

“Mmmm well I think I started to think I was a curse - my sister had been sick with leukemia, Ava had died, Jen had died, River, others as well and I felt guilty for that stupid film I was working on when it happened! So yeah, there were lots of rocks to lift up, inspect what lay beneath and deal with my emotions.”

“Well you seem like you have your shit sorted now”

“I’m a work in progress!”

“So now you’re, 23 years on, how do you remember Ava and Jen now.”

“Well it’s hard to forget the day for Ava what with it being Christmas Eve. I sometimes visit their graves - after dark if I can to avoid being hounded”

“What has the world come to when a person can’t be left in peace to visit a loved one’s resting place”

“Yeah it’s fucked up right?”

“Precisely.”

“And what else? , well I do have one little thing that my friend Alex who’s an artist, made for me. It was because of something she said she did to remember her lost loved ones. She would get a Christmas ornament that in some way represented the person and hang it on her tree at Christmas. So she made this beautiful little stained glass bird to hang up on my tree or in the house if I don’t have a tree which sometimes happens. So, uh, Ava’s name in Latin would mean bird or bird like so that’s why she did that, yes so I always think of her then and you know I would think about where she would be at a given point like when my friends kids have started school again after summer break I would think “oh Ava would be starting you know kindergarten or elementary school etc.”

“And do your family share in that?”

“Yeah, yeah - especially my mom. She has no grandchildren so yeah she remembers and we’ll have a moment sometimes yeah but it can be lonely, not having the other parent there who shares the same loss.”

“Yes I’m sure it is. Grief can be very lonely sometimes. Well, Keanu I really can’t thank you enough for coming on my little podcast and sharing your experience of baby loss and loss in the public spotlight with us today. Thank you so much for telling us about your beautiful baby girl Ava and her mum Jen.”

“Thanks for having me - I know this might sound weird, but it’s been a pleasure talking with you and remembering them today so, thank you and thanks to Kerry who suggested it. She said it would be good for my soul and she, as always, was right!”

@fortheloveoffanfic @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @toomanystoriessolittletime @ladyreapermc @paperplanesandwallflowers @patric9

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #keanu reeves ofc

5 notes · View notes

nobody-wants-ice-cream · 5 years ago

Text

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 2, Run Boy Run.

Link to the first episode!

Same disclaimer as last episode: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

Run Boy Run

Grace started the Herr Carlson record before the kids even arrived. How are they supposed to learn if they miss the first few seconds of it? What is the point of the record if they’re not even around to hear all of it?+1

The kids all have their hands on the chairs except for Five, showing that he will do something out of the ordinary. -1

Diego is causing property damage to Reggie’s chairs and Reggie allows this. Be consistent, show! Is Reggie lenient or strict? You could make the argument that Reggie doesn’t care about the chair because he’s rich. In that case, sinning for capitalism.+1

Klaus is already into drugs at the age of 13. We can see him rolling a blunt, and doing it quite well, presumably. +1

Ben is straight up allowed to read at the table. So then what is the point of the record if the kids don’t have to pay attention to it? +1

The kids expressions when Five stabs the table. The ones that we see are pure gold. Especially Klaus’s. Well done Dante Albidone. -1

Diego’s side eye when Five starts arguing with Reggie. This is the perfect expression for “my sibling is about to get in trouble”, so props to Blake Talabis. -1

Vanya’s side eye is also good. TJ McGibbon did well. -1

We see Five jump faster than a bullet, but he’s significantly slower when jumping across the table. +1

Reggie is a dick to Five, who just wants to explore his powers. We know that it’s dangerous because we see Five getting stuck, but Five doesn’t think that that is really a possibility. Reggie only talks in confusing ice and acorn metaphors. +1

Five’s face when Reggie presents the ice and acorn metaphor. -1

Vanya and Allison both give Five a look in this scene. This is what makes Five hesitate. Two of his siblings tell him it’s a bad idea, but he does it anyway because he’s a stubborn bastard. +1

Grace’s face drops when Five starts running out the door. Allison and Vanya also look absolutely horrified. -1

“Run Boy Run” is a little on the nose. Especially once you remember that The Boy is Five’s hero name in the comics. +1

No one cares that a 13 year old popped into existence out of nowhere when Five starts traveling into the future. +1

Easter egg! There is an ice cream cart outside the academy. If you’ve read Dallas, you know why I think that’s significant. Also, it happens to be my icon. -1

Five’s look of complete disbelief and horror when he is faced with the apocalypse for the first time. -1

“Vanya! Ben!” This has created a lot of curiosity in the fandom. In the comics he left before they were named, but in the show it looks like he chose to keep Number Five. Why? +1

The apocalypse looks very believable. -1

Title screen umbrella! -1

The awesome scene with Ellen Page and Aidan Gallagher continues in the next episode. -1

Where would Five have heard that rumor about Twinkies having an endless shelf life? It’s not like he was very exposed to pop culture as a kid. +1

Vanya doesn’t keep her Violin in the case. She leaves it proped on a chair, which is basically begging gravity to come and fuck up your instrument. +1

Five plays the pronoun game and doesn’t tell Vanya about Dolores. +1

The last thing Five heard for 40 years was Reggie’s stupid metaphor. That’s a sin for the metaphor and a sin for Five’s pain and suffering. +2

Vanya gives someone with a thirteen-year-old’s liver a few shots worth of hard liquor in a tall glass. +1

“You think I didn’t try everything to get back to my family?” This quote is Five at his core. It shows his exact motivation. Aidan Gallagher really could have screwed up with this line because it’s so raw, but the delivery doesn’t suck. Well done. -1

Is that liquor real? Aidan Gallagher’s face suggests that it is and he only takes two sips of it. Also, Five takes a sip when it’s just a bit, pours more, then takes another sip, and doesn’t drink any more of it. Sin for showmakers possibly giving a kid real alcohol and sin for Five only taking a sip after pouring a lot out. +1

However, if the alcohol is fake, which I really hope it is, sin off for Aidan Gallagher’s acting. -1

Five expects Vanya to believe his crazy apocalypse story. I had a hard time believing it when we were shown flashbacks as the audience. It wasn’t until they brought in the Commission that I actually believed it. If Five had explained the Commission, just like he did to Luther, then Vanya would have had an easier time believing him. +1

Vanya calls Five crazy and then expects him to not be hurt and want to stay in her apartment. +1

Vanya takes the pills after an emotionally charged scene. Pills-foreshadowing. -1

Five’s hands are shaking when he’s looking at the eyeball. This shows both his uncertainty, with this being his only clue, and shows that he is unwilling to leave his sister again even after she called him insane. -1

Mary J. Bilge. -1

The Lunar Motor Lodge has rates by the week, day, and hour. The Commission is super sleazy for putting Hazel and Cha Cha in a place that also rents by the hour. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha are an underrated duo. The “It smells like cat piss” dialogue is honestly really funny. -1

Obvious villains are obvious. I know they’re meant to be obvious, but it doesn’t change the fact that a show with a lot of subtlety just kind of thrust Hazel and Cha Cha in there with no subtlety at all. +1

Hazel stores the briefcase away and throws a screw, foreshadowing that this will be an important detail later. -1

No one, including police, notices the blinking and beeping, neon green tracker. +1

Patch is sort of right. Five made a jump in the middle of two of the local hires, which caused them to shoot each other. -1

“The guy had an eclair and the kid had coffee”. Patch’s side eye says that she thinks Agnes is getting her story mixed up. If we didn’t see what happened, then the audience wouldn’t believe Agnes either. Great acting Ashley Madekwe. -1

Agnes doesn’t stay in the back room. She crawls out so her head can dramatically pop up over the counter after Five leaves. This is a stupid decision on Agnes’s part.+1

Agnes is seen handling American money. Somehow we as a fandom didn’t notice this. Klaus also uses American money to buy drugs later in this episode. Sinning the showmakers not specifying which state at the very least, but reluctantly because I know that’s a reference to the comics. +1

“What other detective”. Camera cuts to Diego exiting Griddys. -1

Diego is a vigilante. What he is doing impedes the law. In this instance, we want him to stop Patch’s investigation because we know that the answer leads back to Five, which would be bad for the plot. However, Patch’s annoyance suggests Diego has done this to her before. How many murderers have gone free because Diego intervenes in Patch’s cases? +1

Diego did not consent to being searched and having his personal belongings taken. +1

Ebay exists but there is no internet or smartphones. What? +1

Diego thinks that this looks like a botched robbery. No way in hell does this look like a robbery of a doughnut shop in any universe. A bank robbery, yeah sure, but not a doughnut shop. What kind of doughnut shop has the kind of money that requires multiple guys with very large weapons, Diego? +1

The way Patch is described to Five by Diego in a later episode does not match the personality she actually has. +1

A whole crowd of people had nothing better to do than to watch the cops investigate a murder scene in a densely populated city. +1

Is Luther hitting his head after he wakes up a character choice? He does it again with the model airplane. After the low ceilings on the moon for four years, you would think that he would learn to duck. +1

Emmy Raver-Lampman gives an amazing performance when talking to Luther about Claire. -1

Allison has multiple posters of herself in her room. I am sinning for her younger self’s narcissism. +1

However, this narcissism goes hand in hand with Allison as a character. Props to the set designers for making these posters and hanging them up. It adds detail to Allison’s room and really shows who she was as a character. -1

“When Claire was little I used to read her books about the moon. I’d tell her her Uncle was living up there” Allison doesn’t remember that Luther was on the moon and therefore shouldn’t know about her divorce in the first episode, but says this in the second episode. +1

Luther looks so genuinely happy at being Claire’s personal superhero. -1

The ghosts torturing Klaus. +1

That fucking animal print thing Klaus is wearing. +1

Robert Sheehan is very, very attractive. This makes up for the monstrosity Klaus is wearing. -1

“You know you talk in your sleep.” “Oh there’s no point. You’re out of drugs” I love Ben as a character so much. -1

“Shut your piehole, Ben. Said with love” smooch. I love this line. -1

“I’ve got a crazy idea. Why not try starting your day with… a glass of orange juice or some eggs”. Justin Min’s delivery of this line kills me every time. -1

Pogo is really vague about why the papers in Reggie’s box are important. If he said something about the papers detailing the Academy’s powers in explicit detail, Klaus would have tried harder to get them back. +1

We don’t see Klaus pull out the Red Journal in episode one. +1

“Liar” “Drop dead” “Low blow”. This is an iconic interaction for a reason. -1

Pogo knows that Klaus can talk to ghosts, but remains offended when Klaus tells a ghost to shut up. +1

“Really awful, terrible, depressing times” Reggie is a dick to his children. +7

Vanya sleeps with the door to her bedroom open, even though we saw her close it. So she must have gotten up to open the door and didn’t notice Five was gone. +1

Where did Five go all night? Did he sleep back in the Academy? It couldn’t have taken him this long to get to the MeriTech building, so what happened to him? He changed to a clean uniform, so presumably he went to the Academy, but why did the show vague this? Did he walk into a department store and buy/steal a clean shirt?+1

Only the plot relevant person notices Five. The front desk girl doesn’t question why he’s there. And that is her literal job. I would know, I run the front desk at a medical office. If you don’t greet the patients then you’re not doing your job, front desk girl.+1

“Must have just [click] popped out.” iconic.-1

Five decides that violence is the best course of action to get the information he needs, directly contradicting “I know how to do everything” +1

The 1938 fingerprints may be Five’s. However, police usually discard this kind of evidence because there is a very reasonable doubt. Not to mention that anyone could have touched the knife. It’s a public place. Forensic evidence is not as reliable as it is portrayed in the media. +1

Diego is an asshole to everyone, but especially to Patch. She’s right, Diego is obstructing justice. How many murderers have gone free because Diego interfered in an investigation? +1

Diego’s boiler room is way too big to be a boiler room. +1

Luther’s reflection in Diego’s mask shows that Luther wants to know what it would be like to be number two instead of number one. Luther can’t lead for shit and subconsciously wishes that he didn’t have to. -1

With an aerial shot of the Academy from the outside, we can see that Reggie never bothered to take the laundromat sign off the mansion or that Reggie sold ad space on the mansion exterior. +1

Reggie is a dick to animals. See: the animal skeletons and the taxidermy. +1

Part of the mansion is painted an ugly neon green for no reason. +1

“Sorry I left without saying goodbye”. The “both times” is unspoken. -1

Vanya apologises for calling him crazy and being dismissive, but still suggests he needs mental help. He does, but maybe suggest it later when he isn’t convinced you think he’s insane? +1

Five lies to Vanya about something stupid. If he said that he was having Klaus help him with the apocalypse, I don’t think she would have minded. +1

Why does Five have so many toys in his room? Including a baseball? +1

Klaus comes out of the wardrobe as loudly as possible. The mansion does not have sound proofing (see: I Think We’re Alone Now dance party). There is no way in hell Vanya didn’t hear him. +1

This is the last time Vanya and Five interact. +1

Five’s room is more childish than a thirteen-year-old’s room should be. It honestly looks like he was the favorite because his room has so many toys in it. Like Reggie wanted to win his favor or something. Sinning for the weird set design choice and for Reggie being an asshole. +1

The fake circumstances in which Five was born in their cover story gives me immense joy. -1

In one camera angle, if you look carefully they cut two takes of “what a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain”. In the one where we can’t see his face properly, Aidan Gallagher is openly smiling. Corpsing. +1

Robert Sheehan is funny. -1

Syd the tow truck guy doesn’t really look like Sean Sullivan (actor that plays adult Five) enough for Cha Cha, a trained assassin, to not see that he isn’t their mark. +1

Hazel eating a sandwich in this scene. Also the “Italian for dinner line”. -1

And Cha Cha sees the differences between Syd and Five later! +1

“Time travel’s a bitch” “Especially without a briefcase” There's other time travel methods than briefcase or being Five? Elaborate. +1

Patrick is a dick to Allison. We understand why later, but really Patrick, you’re going to be an asshole when her father just died? Don’t get me wrong, Reggie abused the hell out of her, but still! Patrick should have let Allison talk to Claire. +1

Vanya tries to comfort Allison even though she knows nothing about the situation other than that it happened. She’s never even met Patrick! +1

Allison is clearly trying to get away from this conversation with Vanya, but Vanya presses on. +1

“Well if I wanted advice, Vanya, no offence, it wouldn’t be from you”. This is why Vanya doesn’t take Allison’s advice about Leonard. Also, Allison is a dick to Vanya. +1

This scene with Allison and Vanya is interesting. Allison is projecting her pain and taking it out on Vanya, who really should have seen and heard what happened enough to leave her alone. Both of them are the bad guy here regardless of how you slice it. I am sinning the show for this moment because they really tried to villainize Allison for this scene, but she does have some well thought out points and is in an emotionally compromised state. Or in other words, the fight between Allison and Vanya is stupid. +1

Grant/Lance/whatever gave Klaus and Five valuable office time. Doctors do not have time for this sort of crap. Shouldn’t this guy have patients? +1

Aidan Gallagher looks to the actor playing Grant/Lance/whatever as if he’s waiting for him to say his line. I see this all the time with younger kids in theatre, but they can get away with it if their character has a reason to look at that character. That being said, Five would have no reason to do this.+1

The sound effect that plays when Klaus slaps Five is really out of place. +1

Seeing Robert Sheehan slap Aidan Gallagher. -1

Klaus pauses as if he’s listening to Ben before he picks up the snowglobe. -1

The snowglobe. Robert Sheehan pretending to be Klaus pretending to be Five’s crazy dad. Acting. -1

Five looks like a proud grandfather when Klaus gets Lance to show them the records. -1

Five doesn’t pay Klaus for that brilliant acting. Also, how was Five planning to give Klaus $20. He doesn’t have any money nor do we ever see him with money. Five is a cheapskate. +1

Klaus calls Five “old man”. I thought that was just a fandom thing lmao. -1

“You must be horny as hell”. Great Klaus line, but super weird that he’s saying it to someone that looks thirteen. +1

Klaus is wearing the shirt that goes with his nicest outfit underneath Reggie’s pinstripe suit. -1

“Goodbye Dolores”, a song from the soundtrack, starts playing when Five starts talking about Dolores. This is good placement of that song because we later learn that he left her in the apocalypse when he left to work for the Commission. -1

Five is a dick to Klaus. Klaus is really trying to connect with his long lost brother, but Five jumps away. +1

That taxi driver doesn’t freak out and cause a car accident when a random kid appears in his car. +1

Also, how did Five pay for that taxi? Did he jump out of the moving vehicle too? +1

Leonard is so obvious from the start. So charming that he’s slimy. +1

Vanya can’t see this and is actually attracted to him. This may go back to that conversation with Allison when she asks if Vanya has ever been in a relationship. For all we know, the answer is no. +1

Leonard took three years of German in prison. I don't think American jails are that nice. +1

Leonard picks up another person’s instrument without their consent. As a musician, this is very, very painful. +2

Diego is paranoid, but also observant as fuck. -1

But how did he get his weapons back from the police? Are knives open carry in whatever state this is in? There are some states where Diego’s harness would be legal so it’s possible. I’ll have to look into this. Sinning the show for being vauge as fuck. +1

Luther didn’t notice the boiler room door open. +1

Diego throws weapons on his siblings. +1

Reginald Hargreeves died March 21st. The funeral is on March 24th. This is way too soon. It should have been a week or two not two days between the date of death and the funeral. Especially considering Luther suspects Reggie was murdered. And if you say that Reggie, Pogo, or Grace bribed them, then I’m sinning for bribery.+1

Diego eats a raw egg. Salmonella headass. +2

David Castaneda eats a raw egg. Why did you make him do this? It adds nothing to the character other than making Diego look dumb as hell. +1

Vanya interrupts her student while he’s playing and doing well. Whenever my teacher does that I get a minor heart attack. +1

Leonard is already lying to Vanya. He manipulates her by saying his Dad was into music and that's why he’s taking violin lessons. +1

An actual place named “Bricktown” in a place called “The City.” Sigh. +1

It is four o’clock when Leonard takes his lesson, but then after the lesson we cut to night time. What happened in those couple hours, show? Are you really saying that these characters did nothing interesting for all that time? +1

Emmy Raver-Lampman clearly isn’t smoking. Which is fine because she’s a Broadway actress and needs her voice/lungs for that part of her career. It’s weird because it shows that Allison isn't smoking. +1

Pogo scolds Allison for her language. Allison is an adult, Pogo. +1

Klaus made a drink at a young age and Reggie didn’t stop him. Or talk to him. He recorded Klaus drinking, but didn’t care. +1

The showmakers show us Allison’s face for dramatic tension instead of showing us the tape. This was a good choice and I feel it helped the narative.-1

They show a sign “Gimbel Brothers Seniors Tuesdays 10% Off.” after Five walks by. -1

The most awkward and dopey smile in existence when Five finds Dolores. -1

They play “Goodbye Dolores” after he finds her. That could have worked if they transposed it to the major key. Hello Dolores. +1

“Goodbye Dolores” transitioning into “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen. -1

This action sequence is great. -1

Hazel’s wrist splint. -1

Five cuts Cha Cha with a trowel. -1

The dual screen thing is cool. -1

Five literally jumps over a stand and somehow doesn’t get shot. Hazel and Cha Cha have Stormtrooper aim. +1

How did Hazel and Cha Cha leave? You would think the police would notice someone leaving through the back. +1

Similarly, how did Five and Dolores get out of this? Did he wait until he could jump and teleport outside the store? Can he teleport that far? +1

How did Diego get another police scanner so quickly? Unless that’s the scanner Patch confiscated? +1

“I gotta show you something” +1

Once again, Five should be a lot sweatier. What are these magic, sweat absorbing things you can buy in a department store and where can I buy them? +1

Five sees an eyeball and immediately picks it up for no reason. He doesn’t even know that’s Luther’s body yet. He just picked up an eye for no reason. +1

Five as a thirteen-year-old boy saw his siblings' dead bodies. Sinning for trauma. +1

Aidan Gallagher portrays this trauma well. -1

Overall Review:

I love this episode and had a hard time finding things wrong with it. I genuinely like this episode and I think that it could have stood alone as the pilot.

Some acting things I noticed, David Castaneda, John Magaro (Leonard), and Ashley Madekwe were the standouts this episode. All three brought something interesting to the table this episode and I look forward to re-watching their scenes. I wish Madekwe and Magaro all the best as I know that they probably won’t be returning for season two.

The plot thickens! Hazel and Cha Cha were introduced in a very obvious way compared to the subtle way they introduced Leonard. There is a reason I adore this episode, and it’s not just for Klaus slapping Five (though that is part of it).

Total: 52

Sentence: We saw Diego eat a raw egg. That’s punishment enough for this episode.

#The Umbrella Academy #all in good fun #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #eudora patch

91 notes · View notes

lampd-intheface · 6 years ago

Text

sanders sides as witches

me: please... write what the people want... my lizard brain: witch au. now.

they all coincidentally live in the same apartment building? mostly becos there’s a ley line right through the building so there’s a lot of magical energy there

the rent is cheap too so that kinda helps

their apartment complex is in a more rural place so there’s a lot of trees and parks and stuff around them too

alongside being witches, the five of them are also just students at a nearby college

i mean, witchcraft brings in the bucks but witches have to have a plan b in this modern world, you kno???

becos they live on top of a ley line, a lot of supernatural trouble comes their way and so they just kind of try to deal with it a much as possible

patton, logan and roman know each other since they’ve been childhood friends and their families have been friends too

virgil and desmond (deceit) are kind of soloing right now which is a surprise becos they’re also helping with the supernatural disasters

i guess just so far??? virgil or desmond will like do something to help with a fae problem or with some wandering lycanthropes while patton/logan/roman had been planning on doing something???

patton: did you... do something about that one problem we talked about?

roman: no... i thought logan did?

logan: it was certainly not me

and it just never occured to the three that there were two other witches there

patton/roman/logan know virgil and desmond

it’s kind of hard to live in the same apartment building and not know each other

but they don’t know that the two are witches

virgil and desmond are kind of aware that patton/logan/roman exists and they kind of know that there’s something magical about them? but they’re not so much aware that each other exists?

which is weird becos virgil and desmond used to be childhood friends that just drfted apart becos of a stupid fight

to virgil’s knowledge, desmond is out in the world doing something

and to desmod’s knowledge, virgil goes to the same college but like... lives... somewhere else?

logan

a very intellectual witch

he has floor to ceiling bookcases just filled with tomes and scrolls and spellbooks

when he’s in his room, books are hovering everywhere. he’ll waggle a finger and a book gently flies off of a shelf and into the space in front of him. sometimes there are multiple??? books??? at the same time??? in front of him??? and the books’ pages are flipping by themselves???

king of multitasking. he’ll be reading while writing while listening to music? he’ll be going through roman’s notes on a book while reading said book? or he’ll be researching through three or four different books at the same time? his multitasking skills are a type of magic all on its own

all of his books he gets from book sales or antique shops or like estate sales (where old houses’ contents are sold for a low price becos the owners can’t afford the estate anymore). logan kind of makes it a hobby to collect as much accurate magical literature as possible

roman and patton obviously tag along whenever they can, especially to the really fancy estate sales

his favorite kind of witchcraft is arithmancy (the practice of magic using numbers) and astrology (the practice of magic using celestial bodies). the arithmancy is becos he’s really good at it. the astrology is because he just. really loves. stars??? and the night sky??? and space???

like i said, childhood friends with roman and patton. so, patton and roman will oftentimes go to logan if they don’t know something not just becos logan is very intelligent but also becos logan’s room is basically a library of magic?

patton: hey logan--

logan, already levitating a book towards patton: i believe you’re looking for this book?

often, logan will also be found on the rooftop of the apartment building just stargazing and he’ll sometimes bump into virgil when he’s up there. as far as logan knows, virgil is just another student at the college he attends and both of them are just super into stars

he’s very good at spells on knowledge (gaining it or finding it or anything of the sort)

roman

roman is a very musical kind of witch

he has a lot of instruments in his room, most of which play themselves at times when roman can’t be in more than one place. roman will be playing the violin and his electric piano will be playing at the same exact time, accompanying him

patton, happily: *hears an entire orchestra through the walls* that silly ol’ goober is up to his musical shinanigans again!

logan, slightly irritated: *hears an entire orchestra through the walls* roman...

he has milions of scented candles in his room and he never really lights them unless necessary? he just loves smelling them. the candles he uses for rituals and stuff are usually unscented but they’re in fun shapes (like flowers!) because why not?

idk he just has a lot of candles around???

he has the kind of voice that’s perfect for spells??? he’s super good at enunciation and just volume and his voice is so pleasant!!! it also kind of helps that he knows a lot of languages (french, italian, spanish, latin) and he’s on his way to learning more

roman has always had a fascination with the way words work and the power behind words. a lot of his spells are spoken and they end up very strong and sturdy

he could literally and metaphorically talk himself out of any situation

whenever logan needs help translating something, usually it’s in latin so roman helps with that a lot. it’s really nice when the two of them are just chilling together quietly, roman translating things while logan reads

roman also loves using magic to levitate, animate and even project things! people can’t physically touch his projections tho (which makes patton sad whenever roman projects a cute lil animal he can’t pet)

his specialties are incantations and spells that require any drawing of any sort (like runes and spell circles)

patton

whenever anyone needs a potion or some sort of concoction, they go to patton. need a treat for a fae? need some sort of potion for divining? just plain ol’ hungry? patton’s got you covered

his room is very messy but his kitchen is practically immaculate (in a sort of homey comfortable type of way).

everything is sorted in all of the cupboards (which are overflowing and almost won’t close), the stoves are taken care of, his pots and pans and cauldrons are spotless

he prides himself in the large assortment of glass bottles and containers he owns. he tries to keep all of them clean but, sometimes, he’ll use one and then put it somewhere (not in the sink) and he’ll forget to wash it

it’s difficult for patton to get ingredients but some of it he just grows on his own. it’s not a perfect system but it’s decent. he can do the easy ones like rosemary, basil or mint. anything harder than that and he struggles with it a little. if he can’t grow it, he’ll find it somewhere else

he’s the type to buy those lil potted herbs at wholefoods or whatever and try to grow it but he only has a 50% successful growth rate and he always feels bad when the herbs end up dying

patton enjoys a lot of different magic but nothing gets him happier than mixing and cooking things up! logan and roman don’t understand it but patton just really loves it!

patton’s also a powerful empath so he’s very emotionally intelligent and can really strongly sense how people feel. he’s very good at comforting people too and cheering them up

he doesn’t force them to cheer up with a spell or anything. usually, he just listens and, really, sometimes, that’s all people need.

patton, when someone is upset: my friend distress senses are tingling!

unfortunately, being a powerful empath also means that, when the emotion is strong enough, he doesn’t just sense it. he feels it too. but he’s very good at sensing which emotions are his and which emotions he’s just getting from other people

patton’s specialties are obviously in cooking and in brewing (potions, concoctions, etc)

virgil

virgil is a very quiet witch

he keeps to himself a lot and just does what he needs to do without really asking for anybody else’s help. he’s self sufficient (though it doesn’t mean he’s happy)

virgil loves growing things. he has huge wire shelves in front of all his windows for all of his plants so they can get all the nice sunlight they need!

he’ll grow basically anything he’ll need for everyday potions and spells as well as succulents! he just loves all of his beautiful wonderful succulents! every single one of his plants has a name too!

virgil totally talks to his plants whenever he’s taking care of them and it’ll be just little things like how his day is going or things that are happening around him or how he’s really sorry when he’s pruning them

it’s very rare for a plant to die on him and, when that happens, virgil always knows that there’s something wrong (usually magic related)

virgil has a spell that’s basically a ball of light for those long winter months where his plants won’t get enough sun

herbology aside, virgil is also very talented when it comes to divination

he has a lot of decks of different kinds of cards and a bag of stones with runes on them. he can also read tea leaves and stars

the reason virgil is alone often is because he believes he’s cursed. he brings bad luck to a lot of people he cares about and nobody ever believes anything he says about the future

that’s the reason he and desmond had a falling out. virgil was always so worried about bringing desmond bad luck that he ended up pushing desmond away

his specialties really are mostly divination (specifically cartomancy or divination using cards) and growing plants

desmond

very talented when it comes to creatures

he’s extremely intelligent and deals with the fae very well. he knows the fae court like the back of his hand and he knows the rules of the fae too

it kind of helps that he’s pretty much just as trickster-y as the fae

he’s very good at riddles too which he kind of has to be because the fae love riddles and rhymes

desmond runs out of milk and honey on an almost daily basis and he has ingredients for fae porrige at all times just in case. sometimes, he’ll leave his window open and just leave a bowl of something on the window sill

he’ll make his own butter or cream (since the fae don’t really like industrially produced butter/cream) and he tries to buy organic milk and foods. he’s not too picky about it when he’s the one who’s going to eat it

he has two or three bird feeders but only one of them is really for birds. the others are for whatever flying creature wants a quick snack

you know he has a protective ring around the entire apartment building and that he wears iron rings just in case because, yes, he may be friends with the fae but he knows them well enough to know he should never put his guard down

he has two pet snakes (which he’s lovingl named flotsam and jetsam) and a fire salamander. he doesn’t call his fire salamander a pet becos he feels they have a mutually beneficial relationship.

also there’s a brownie living in his apartment and they’re very good friends (but sometimes desmond will do stupid things and his brownie will get upset)

desmond has a pot he grows lavander in and he has named it virgil (after his dear friend virgil). he cast a spell on the plant so, if virgil is in danger or is hurt, that the plant will start wilting. it’s desmond’s way of keeping tabs on virgil

his specialties really mostly on the fae and how to deal with magical creatures

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #alternate universe #witchy au #mine

154 notes · View notes

sansllura · 6 years ago

Text

Playing with fire you’re bound to get burned Chapter 1: Touch

Summary: Her rent was overdue and Allura was running out of options. Not wanting to ask her father for any help she turns to a flyer looking for a nude model.

AN: Sometimes it be 3 am and you just want a good hot Kallura artist/nude model fic. But guess what? There aren't any so you have to make it yourself. Be the change you want to see. This is my first full Kallura fic, I’m getting wild boys

Allura stood outside the old apartment complex, shifting in her heels, unsure. Her heart was racing and she bit her lip in concern as she once again checked the address on the flyer. The paper had become withered and misshapen as she had handled it on many occasions since ripping it down from the job board on campus.

Her father had offered to pay off this month's overdue rent, something that did not surprise her, but she had stubbornly refused. He was already paying her tuition for her to attend law school, the least she could do was fund her own living situation. Unfortunately, the small cafe she worked at was closed for the next two weeks as the young owner ventured off on his honeymoon with his newly wedded beau. Allura was happy for the man, though a bit distressed at suddenly lacking a paycheck.

Ao3 Link

Contemplating backing down and running for hills, Allura closed her eyes and took some calming breaths. The fear of her witch of a landlady, Honerva, sent shivers down her spine and her finger pressing down on the buzzer. She toyed with the end of her braid as she waited in anticipation. After a moment's pause, a voice finally trickled through the speaker.

“Hello.” The voice was deep, clearly belonging to that of a man, with a low grumble of enticement that sent Alluras already erratic heartbeat into a further panic.

“Hi- yes, I saw your flyer about the modelling,” Allura spoke quickly, struggling not to let her nerves get the best of her. “If you're still looking of a model, I-”

“The elevators on your right, my place is right across the hall on the fifth floor.” The intercom cut off and a quiet buzz let her know that the door had been unlocked. Pushing the door open Allura let out a breath of air. She was slightly irritated from being cut off rather rudely by the man upstairs, the flyer still clutched in her grip. As the elevator began to climb the floors she took a last look at the abused piece of paper.

Art student looking for a nude model

Ability to stay in position for an extended amount of time

$300/per session

Before she could chicken out and run the lift was opening on to the fifth floor and Allura found herself knocking lightly on the door across the hall. Bouncing on the balls of her feet, she shook at the sound of the lock clicking. The man that greeted her was young, around her age. He had long dark hair, pulled loosely back into a ponytail with some longer strands framing his face. He wore all black, save for a red flannel he left unbuttoned. His dark brow was furrowed as he looked at her with eyes she couldn’t decide the colour of. They seemed to flit between a violet and indigo hue. He had a scar on the right side of his face which she quickly diverted her attention from, not wanting to seem rude.

“I’m Allura.” She stuck her hand out politely, ever the daughter of a politician, and gave the alluring man a pleasant smile. After a moment's pause, he grasped her hand. His grip was gentle, his calloused fingertips firmly pressed against her own soft skin. Her hand burned at the contact.

“Keith.” His voice sent a shiver down her spine. As he let go of her hand Allura could still feel the searing touch of his embrace linger. He stepped back, making room for her to enter his home. The apartment was larger then she suspected, with high ceilings and large windows. It was simplistic and tidy, an unusual feature compared to that of the previous homes of young men she’d been to. Though to be fair, Allura hadn’t been to many homes owned by young men, but she definitely didn’t think Keith's place could be what was expected of the majority.

She jumped slightly at the door closing behind her and spun around to once again face the young artist. Still clutching the flyer in her hand she quickly stashed it away in her purse. “You have a lovely home.”

“Thanks but it's not mine,” Keith walked past her, flicking his head forward, indicating for her to follow. “It's my brothers, he just lets me stay with him.”

Allura let out a little hum of acknowledgement. An older brother explained the nice place and took away the tiny ounce of jealousy she’d originally fostered. Keith lead her to the back of the apartment into a room that was clearly being utilized as an art studio. The floor was draped in white bed sheets that were covered in various hues of paint. A large window let in the early afternoon sun and illuminated a single couch covered in another bed sheet. Keith walked towards an easel positioned before the couch. He began to pull out various tools from a paint-splattered workbench that he set upon a small table next to the easel. Allura swayed in her spot, nerves once again eating away at her courage.

“Do you have a restroom I may use?” There was a slight pitch to her voice, caused by the nerves that made her cheeks flush pink in embarrassment.

“The room right next door.”

Allura gave a nod of thanks before heading towards the bathroom. She faltered at the door, poking her head back into the art studio. “Does your brother know this is happening?”

“There's no need to worry, he’s out of town at the moment.”

The fear of being walked in on fully nude disappeared and with a sigh of relief, Allura once again left the room. She took her time undressing, folding each article of clothing carefully before placing it within her purse. Her skin prickled with goosebumps as the chill from the apartments air conditioning met her bare skin. She paused when it came time to remove her undergarments. The matching pink set lined with lace was now the only article of clothing keeping her decent. Thinking over having to walk back into the studio fully bare, Allura opted to keep the set on.

It would have to come off eventually, but at least having some sense of modesty initially dulled her nerves. Scooping her purse back up she made her way to the art studio once again. Avoiding eye contact Allura deposited her bag in the corner of the room. She had her back turned to Keith and after letting out a sigh Allura pulled up her metaphorical big girl panties. Pulling her long plait over her shoulder she brought her hands to the clasp at the back of her bra. Just as she unclipped it she felt a feather-light touch on her shoulder.

Letting out a startled gasp she turned her head to face Keith, quickly grabbing the unclasped bra and holding it to her chest. Her shoulder burned from where their skin had met and the goosebumps were suddenly not just caused by the cold.

“You-you can keep it on.” Keith rubbed the back of his neck, the faintest blush gracing his features.

“The flyer said-”

“I know,” He cut her off once again, but this time there was a nervous tremor to his voice. Good Allura thought It’s easier to act bravely to help someone else. “But if you’re uncomfortable-”

He paused awkwardly, still struggling to maintain eye contact. They stayed like that excruciatingly long. Allura clutching her bra to her bosom looking at the timid artist over her shoulder. It was oddly endearing, his embarrassment at her nudity. She’d expected him to be much more comfortable with their position, seeing as he was not only an artist but a rather attractive man as well. Allura doubted she was the first woman he’d seen naked. However here he stood as though he’d just been dragged into a lingerie store for the first time and was embarrassingly flustered at the sight of the scantily clad mannequins. She hugged herself a little tighter, smiling at the amusing thought.

“Perhaps we should talk for a bit.” She suggested, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“Maybe if we did a bit of talking that would ease up any awkwardness.” She felt almost childish recommending it. They were both adults and shouldn’t be as bothered by her nakedness. Tucking her chin against her chest she shrugged her shoulders. “I’m free all day, so if this takes a little longer than necessary there's no worry.”

The following pause left her wanting to drown herself in a bucket of paint. Pointing out the discomfort had been a stupid move and Allura anticipated being asked to leave. She didn’t dare move, too nervous to lock eyes with the quiet man. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt Keith place the flannel he’d been wearing over her shoulders. The material was thin and soft from clearly having been worn countless times. It hung over her petite frame, sitting just below her bum. Warily she let go of the bra she’d been holding.

She let the straps slide down her arms, making its way off her form as though it were a water droplet trailing down a rose petal. The feel of Keith's warm breath against her back moved her arms to carefully pull the shirt tighter to her body. His breath hitched as her bra hit the ground and she could feel his hands stiffen from where they hovered just above her shoulders. Eventually, she turned her body to completely face him.

Quickly, as though she was a flame threatening to scorch him, he withdrew his hands. This time he maintained eye contact. Her heart was pounding erratically, as though it were threatening to burst out of her chest at any moment. His stare was intense and she felt herself being pulled into the galaxies within his eyes, an adventure she found both frightening and exhilarating. A loose strand of hair had fallen from her braid, and as though they were synced together they both went to fix it. Their fingers brushed and the familiar burn once again returned and she wondered if they were, in fact, both flames.

It did feel as though she were playing with fire. Keith was a stranger with gentle hands and dark eyes, a mystery. Being in his home was a gamble, exposing herself as she was doing right now was dangerous. They say if you play with fire you were bound to be burned, but as her ear became charred by his hand tucking her hair back, Allura doubted that it was really a punishment.

“It’s okay,” His voice was soft, he caressed each syllable as though it were a tender embrace. It was almost as if he was hesitant to speak too powerfully as if she were a frightened animal. “If you’re comfortable that's all that matters, I can paint.”

Her tongue darted out and brushed her lips in anticipation. She gave him a nod and Keith stepped back, distancing himself from her. Sustaining eye contact she pulled down her panties, kicking them off and flinging them to the side. Her cheeks burned in embarrassment, but she was not a child and she would not back down. Keith's gaze never left her face, never lingered on her body that peaked out from beneath his shirt. His eyes were alight and resembled the flames she knew danced beneath his touch. The shirt would come off, they both knew it, but for now, she savoured in its soft embrace. She lowered her face closer to the collar of the flannel, taking in the fragrance, a moment he did not miss. The shirt smelt of detergent, light and fresh, but there was the slightest musk of timber that she knew was caused by Keith. She was certain. “I’m ready.”

“If you need anything, a break, a drink, don’t hesitate to ask.” He offered her his hand. “I will do anything that you need Allura.”

It was a bold declaration. Though his remark could be taken as an act of common courtesy, with the way, his voice had deepened upon saying her name she couldn’t help but sense there was a profound meaning behind it. It felt as though she could give the most obscure of requests and Keith would go racing to fulfil it. Allura didn’t know what scared her more, the weight of his words or the fact she believed every one of them. Still gripping his shirt she placed her free hand within his hold.

“And I will do anything that you ask of.”

AN: i don’t know what I’m doing. Chapter two will be posted tomorrow.

#kallura #juniblade #voltron #VLD #Allura #princess allura #keith kogane #Voltron legendary defender

41 notes · View notes

yoshimickster · 6 years ago

Text

WELCOME TO THE ANGST ZONE-RWBY Volume 6x02 “Uncovered” Micksterecap(Rwby volume 6 spoilers)

HEY EVERBAH-happy Saturday-WELCOME BACK TO MICKSTERECAP! I’m sure this episode will start out with something completely norma-

HOLY SHIT-Cinder’s corpse! OOOOOOOOOOOOR IS IT?!

1:49 HUZZAH-she’s alive-OR IS SHE?! I ask because I’m live-blogging here, FRESH reactions today!

But seriously, TURNS OUT-this isn’t a dream sequence and she IS still alive...for NOOOOOOW! Cinder than punches her way out of the cave using what LITTLE strength she had left after her Avatar battle with Raven “Mother of the Year” Branwen, and upon escaping-SHE MEETS-

2:57 SOME RANDOM LADY WITH FOOD! Man THAT was convenient eh Cinder? Will she beg for food, or just murder her and take the basket-LET’S FIND OU-

3:11 We need to take the relic to Atlas?

GAH-I forgot this show had multiple plotlines-CURSE YOU SHOW I LOVE!

AW NEAT-a pointless flashback, taking place in that house that they...rented? Or did Qrow or the school own it? They never explained WHOSE house that was and it will always always ALWAYS bug me despite it never mattering in terms of plot.

BUT-said flashback ALSO features Weiss’ initial response to going back to Atlas!

3:20

“You’ve GOT to be joking”.

I feel for ya Weiss, escape your shit dad in Atlas, pay a plane to leave, get attacked by bees, get kidnapped by one of your possible love-interest’s moms, go to a school, fight bad guys, get IMPALED, get healed by ANOTHER of your possible love-interest( I said POSSIBLE, don’t hate me) ONLY to learn your going back to the place you escaped! MAN-how she don’t have whiplash from that I don’t know HOW she wouldn’t!

They also bring up a nice secondary reason for bringing the relic to Atlas that I admittedly didn’t think of-

3:33

Qrow: Without the Spring Maiden here to seal the relic back in its vault, its our best option.

Yang: And I just want to say its NO-ONE’S FAULT for not having Raven seal the vault back up after verbally decimating her for years of neglect.

Ruby: Yang its cool, you needed a cry.

3:50 We ALSO LEARN why their going to Argus in the first place, its the last Atlas military installation that still has soldiers...and considering Adam MOST PROBABLY hijacked the train to Argus they BEST get to steppin’ after this flashback is done!

Through that they figure through either asking nicely, or telling them they found one of three of Jacques Schnee’s abuse victims that they could get to Atlas. After they set up the low-down, Jaune asks Oz-

4:38

Jaune: Speaking of, what does it(the relic) do, exactly?

Oz: HAHA-definitely doesn’t attract monsters-DEFINITELY not!

But seriously, turns out it can answer ANY three questions(GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIE) once every 100 years about the present or past. NORA of course geeks out about it-

5:29

Nora: CAN WE ASK FOR MORE QUESTIONS?! CAN WE ASK WHY ME AND REN HAVEN’T KISSED ON SCREEN YET?!

Ruby: Yeah what’s up with that, y’all are CLEARLY a couple!

Ren: I’m as confused as you are.

SADLY THOUGH-the magical knowledge genie can’t answer ANY of our deepest ship questions as it turns out they were all used up before it was sealed-OR WERE THEY?! Seriously I’m legit wondering, for all we know Oz is lying.

5:40 Ruby: Well, we’ll be sure to keep it safe.

Yang: GIMME THAT STUPID LAMP-I’ma SMASH IT!

Ruby: Isn’t that more Nora’s thing?

Yang: I DON’T CARE I’M JUST PISSED AT OUR STUPID PRINCIPAL IN A FARMBOY’S BODY!

But seriously everyone is LOGICALLY pissed off about the current run of events, half their party is gone, Yang’s gonna push her motorcycle she should’ve left at home through snow-

6:11 -and they now have ANOTHER mysterious mystic old person who REEKS of mysterious mysticism...AAAAAAAAAAND THE PROOOOOOOOOOOOOM IS TOMOOOOOOOOOOOORROW! Remember that joke? Practically dissapeared.

LOGICALLY pissed off at Ozpin for LYING about how the ancient relic of ultimate destiny attracted murderous chimera after them, and I’m sure he won’t pull some bull-shit line like-

6:47

Ozpin: I did not lie to you.

PFFT-look at Maria’s face here, her bullshit detectory is on POINT! Because not informing them of the dangerous GRIMM MAGNET wasn’t a half-truth. Can we get a wizard who DOESN’T give the main heroes the run-around with their bullshit for a change, CAN WE PLEASE?!

Oz than explains that the reason he held the truth is because he wanted to save them from anxiety and negativity, AS WELL as that being the reason for why he had it so Lionheart wasn’t revealed to be a traitor after his death, in what KINDA sounds like a villain speech, even going as far as saying “The people of Remnant deserve more than the truth”, (because THAT line is never condescending) as WELL as saying he’s been betrayed so many times he’s straight up used to it.

Oz than puts it all to a head when he asks where the relic is and TURNS OUT-

8:32 RUBY HAS IT! Way to stay on task girl, especially in quite possibly the most STRESSFUL year of your LIFE! Remember the silly school dance? I miss that.

Ruby than LOGICALLY calls him out for saying he had so much faith in humanity in these years when the opposite is true. Its also a good thing that he didn’t lie about the relic not being able to ask questi-

9:10

Oscar:HURRY...he’s trying...to stop you...he’s afraid you’ll find out...what he’s hiding!

...well that’s ominous but as long as it turns out the relic still can’t work I say its o-

9:31

Oscar: Her name...is Djinn...say her name to summon her.

...well that’s good to know but AS OZPIN SAID-the relic TOTALLY doesn’t work so saying it won’t do ANYTHI-

Ruby:...Djinn?

9:45 ...OKAY-time just happened to freeze, I’M SURE NOTHING ELSE OZPIN MURDERINGLY MAGICAL HAPPE-

10:33 Djinn: Wonderful!

...OKAY-so there was a genie in it that every single person on planet Earth saw coming, but SURELY it still can’t answer 3 questi-

10:40 Tell me, what knowledge do you seek?

SON OF A BITCH OZPIN-not ONLY did you lie about the lamp housing a genie whose PRIME waifu material, but ALSO lied about the questions being used up! Because just saying “Don’t use the relic to ask questions” would be SO hard you dis-trustworthy ass old man!

Well surely the next thing to happen is Team RWBYOMQ asking how to best murder Ozpi-

10:47 ...or cut to a random dirty ass alley, because the writers like to TORTURE us!

10:55 DAMN-Cinder, you even stole the bitch’s CLOTHES! What are you, the Terminator?!

Cinder walks through the rainy ass street of scum and villainy-UNTIL SHE SEES-

11:37 RANDOM SPIDER-MAN GRAFFITI! Didn’t know Remnant had such a Marvel fan-base, NEAT!

But seriously, it turns out to be the INSIGNIA OF-

PURPLE CLAD GANGSTERS! I gotta assume they are like, REALLY good criminals becasue DEAR GOD do her two guards look silly, LOOK AT THEIR SCARFS!

Cinder than bribes her for information-

Cinder: You’re little Miss Malachite?

Malachite: Is that a fat joke or color joke? Because I’ve TRIED changing my name to Violet, but UGH the system.

She then tells Spiderlady that she’s looking for team RWBYJNR by SHOWING HER-

12:35 SEASON THREE SCREEN SHOTS! ALSO-yes those are all from the Vytal festival, for some reason I thought the JNPR pics were from the placement exam. And now we wait for the Pyrrha fans to be mad she was cropped out!

AFTER Little Miss Malachite(Her name should STILL be Violet dammit, or maybe Amethyst) gives a spooky spider speech, she tells Cinder she’ll find the team in a few days-BUT IT TURNS OUT-

13:34

Chaps: Little Miss, we all ready know where they are.

Little Miss: Oh really, we do? Why don’t you say it louder SO THE MYSTERIOUS MURDER LADY WE DON’T KNOW CAN HEAR YOU?!

Cinder: What was that?

Little Miss: Nothin’ sweetie, just makin’ creepy spider metaphors!

A THEN CUT BACK TO-

13:55 MARIA-adjusting her broken ass cyborg eyes to double-check if she’s not looking at a floating Navii from Avatar.

And WOULDN’T YA KNOW IT-turns out Djinn can still answer TWO more questions this era! ALSO-

14:25

Djinn: A-heh, its a pleasure to see you again old man.

AND-she’s met Oz before, PROBABLY since he asked the first question.

Ozpin pleads Ruby not to ask Djinn a question, which prompts Qrow to ask-

Qrow: Hey-

Weiss: WANNA DIE OLD MAN?!

Qrow: GAH-I was just gonna tell Ruby to do what she felt was right!

Yang: Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse us if we can’t trust OLD PEOPLE RIGHT NOW!

Ruby than asks Djinn what is Ozpin hiding from them WHICH CAUSES OZPIN-

14:56 ...to...attempt to tag her...slap her...push her-WHAT WERE YOU ATTEMPTING TO DO TO MY DAUGHTER YOU WEIRD OLD MAN?!

BUT-before Ozpin can commit attempted assault and/or attempted game of tag-TEAM RWBYQOM-

A FREAKY ASS VOID-that turns INTO-

“Once upon a time, there stood a lonely tower”-

ALSO-

Blake turns into Qrow because...genies? BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT-

“-that sheltered a lonely girl...named-

“-Salem”.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SHIT-Salem used to look NORMAL ONCE! BACKSTORY MOTHER FUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!

AND THAT’S SEASON SIX EP TWO-following the classic RWBY formula of exposition episode after action episode and I gotta say we learned...A LOT! FOR ONE-Ozpin pulls a full Rose Quartz in revealing he’s not the ethical leader we all thought he was, AS WELL as showing he has a secret connection TO Salem, implying...A BILLION possible things that I won’t put here because this is a recap blog and not a theory blog perse. HOO BOY-what a cliffhanger, NEXT WEEK-backstory time baby! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK on MICKSTERECAP!

If you like what you read, donate to my paypal here, or my Kofi page here. I put the link for my Paypal and Kofi here as I have JUST now realized the paypal link is under the search bar on my Tumblr homepage and is impossible to click so THERE ya go!

14 notes · View notes

elle-stevens · 6 years ago

Text

The Break Up Blog - Day Thirty Two

I am beyond exhausted.

After finishing my break-up blog when I got home from Game Night at C’s, I stayed up till close to 2am before I finally dozed off. I woke up this morning at 8am, lazed about, ate breakfast and finally took a shower closer to 10am. Then I met C and AS at 10:30 so we could take AS grocery shopping and to buy a few things like a new coffee maker.

What I anticipated would be a maximum 4 hours of running errands and having lunch turned into 7 hours, which is why I was so tired. There I go again with my stupid expectations - they always let me down. At least AS got some things she likes and needed as well as both C and I. It was mostly an excuse for me to spend some of my money that I got from my recent bonus, most of it happening at IKEA, but it was fun spending money and not caring too much. Plus I got some yummy baked treats at Tous Les Jours, which always puts a big smile on my face. Plus I had fun with C and AS, they’re a laugh riot. I’ll be good tomorrow and hopefully only withdraw my rent money and only spend money on eggs and maybe a pedicure. I’m growing eagle’s talons on my toes, so it’s definitely time for a nail trimming and some foot scrubbing.

I honestly don’t feel like I have the energy to exercise after this, that’s how tired I am. It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with my exercise schedule and write my break-blog entries every evening after all the things I do in the mornings and afternoons, even on my days off. This is probably part of the reason why I don’t always hang out with people. It’s not that I don’t enjoy social interactions and activities with my family, friends or colleagues. I just have a tiny social battery life that lasts for up to 2 hours at a time. On a good day - maybe 4-6 hours. I’m definitely OCD when it comes to controlling my schedule so I have enough time to do all the things I want and need to do in a single day.

Meh.

Worst-case scenario: I do the exercises I can manage and skip the ones I can’t or simply don’t want to do. It’s only a workout programme on a phone app, not a serious committment like a marriage proposal. I might go into work for a bit on Sunday to start marking some of the written assessments that are complete. I’m not going to stress that much over it since the grades my students get at school is mostly fiction anyway.

C told me earlier that the supervisor for all the foreign teachers at school, ML, was the one who told her that our new vice-principal didn’t want to renew C’s work contract for next year. Seeing as the man started working at our school only a week ago, I find it hard to believe that he has such a strong opinion already about high or low turnovers of teachers coming to and leaving our school. Which makes me think that it’s really MH who cares about the turnover issue and actually just wants C out. Never mind the fact that MH is planning on leaving our school next year too - what does it matter apparently if she takes a few more teachers out the door with her, right?

I’m really starting to dislike shady people in general. Honesty, how hard is it to admit that you have a shady agenda? You might as well come clean and save yourself the trouble of getting found out later by a couple of metaphorical teenagers playing detective and their meddling dog. Hopefully I get to stick it to my school when they find out I’m leaving as well. That means H will have to train two new teachers in the Elementary department come next year. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not leaving school because of how C’s been treated. I’m grown enough to know that’s between her and our employers and has got jack shit to do with me and my teaching abilities. It’s just time for me to go, especially when I already feel like nothing I do at my job actually matters.

Still, there are silver linings to everything. I prayed to God this morning and got emotional in a good way thinking about all the wonderful students who have come into my life in the last 5 years while I pursued a career in ESL Education. Sure, the path has had its ups and downs, but what a wonderful and fulfilling path it’s been so far. I can’t wait to look back on this chapter in my life 20 years from now and see how far I’ve come. I hope I’m lucky enough to meet a few of my old students in the future and see what they’ve accomplished. Since most of my students have been Asian so far, I firmly believe that they’ll accomplish a lot in their lives. I don’t want to ever forget what my teachers have taught me over time and what I’ve learnt while being a teacher. I chose this path 7 years ago after I broke up with KA and I’ve managed to see so much more of the world along the way. It’s been hard and challenging, but there’s nothing I would change about the journey that got me here.

While in one of the department stores with C and AS, I saw a display of backpacks that I previously bought in the last year: a black one for X’s birthday a few months ago and a grey one for me not long after that. I ended up giving my backpack to X while we were in Manila and she was stressing about how to take all of her gifts for her family and her clothes back home in her tiny suitcase. At the time, it was a wrench to give up the backpack, but not so serious that I couldn’t buy another duplicate for myself here in China. Now I’m thinking about whether I still want to get another grey one or get a different colour altogether. I don’t want too reminders of X hampering my future progress, but it also seems to dwell too much on semantics. Certain, useless memories will fade over time; hopefully when that happens, I’ll still get to keep the good memories of X that won’t be too bittersweet for me. It took some time for me to view my memories with KA and even CH, my first boyfriend, as good moments. But I got there eventually. Despite some of the tough moments that happened after the break-up with both of them, I hope that KA and CH don’t hold it against me and that they’ve moved on completely for the better.

As far as X is concerned, I could give two flying fucks and a left nut-sack what she thinks of me. I’m already winning the break-up just from not lying to her about money or lying about having a terminal illness. Who knew those things would actually be relationship deal-breakers? I guess it’s because it’s only been a month since the break-up and the hurt and resentment is still fresh. I hope it gets over time not to treat every good memory of X with patronising disdain.

It sucks that my mind inadvertently travels to more intimate moments with X, like her soft, unrushed kisses and the way she would rub my back when I’d wake up in the middle of the night after having a violent coughing fit. I hate that she was so tender in those moments and so rough and unkind with my feelings in the months before our break-up. Did she really hate me that much or did she just not have enough human decency in her to set me and herself free to move on and be happier by ourselves?

I wish I knew. I also wish I could confront her and actually get the fucking truth out of her. But that’s just my wishful thinking talking again. The reality is that I’ll never know the truth, even if X deigns to feed more useless crap.

The more I type, the less tired I start to feel. So I think I’ll end off here, get dressed into my workout clothes and exercise for a bit. Then I’ll enjoy my cream doughnut and garlic bread from Tous Les Jours while vegging the night away.

I hope I can just sleep and then sleep some more, till that peaceful feeling of nothingness takes over my brain. I need to slow down and start resting more. So maybe when my latest workout programme is done, I might also take a break from writing my break-up blog entries.

Life sometimes happens when you’re out there actually living it. It might soon be time for me to take my fingers off of the keyboard, go out of my apartment and start living and maybe even loving again.

#breakupblog

0 notes