#the stuff about fan perception in different countries is /so/ interesting

[vampylily]

it really is so curious bc there's like half a dozen korean fan accounts on twitter absolutely /furious/ about the official idkhow announcement, demanding answers and saying that dallon is letting people cyberbully ryan (which at least okay, what they're criticizing is the lack of clarification from official channels earlier when it all blew up. which, if it was all false allegations, then people would have been nasty towards ryan for nothing. but then, theres going to be legal issues so it makes sense why he didnt clarify anything sooner) and dallon & company being childish, etc.

i was idly searching bc it looks like those fanaccs has been fans of idkhow longer than I have so maybe I'm missing something; it's always interesting to see different fan perception and information varying on site (twt vs tumblr vs insta) and language/culture (larger english fandoms vs smaller groups in different countries), etc.

the main point of contention seems to be how people around dallon has responded online? like his wife/mother in law and all that, and arguing that dallon & company are the ones bullying/being unfair towards ryan, asking for specifics on why he's kicked out (confirm the money stealing rumour) and how it puts a sour taste in their mouths. and fair, in a better world where social media doesn't exist and information (whether real or not) doesn't spread this quickly, it would be nice to get succinct information from the band w/o unconfirmed rumors. the stuff about his mother in law, while a bit unprofessional, isn't really a grave sin and should be taken with a grain of salt anyways.

if they are simply ryan fans, at this point, there's nothing really to argue about. they're unlikely to believe anything dallon/idkhow announce and going to support ryan. they were like "well I don't want to see dallon's one man show" and if so, they aren't gonna tune in again. as fans, it makes sense people find it hard to believe it/want to believe the best as a fan.

(but then one of them was like "well r*nnie was all supportive towards ryan and gifted him a car, etc while dallon only said he supported ryan and did nothing" and the second I read that, all their credibility went out the window. r*nnie r*dke. are we being serious rn. also that mf is running his mouth rn so fuck that dude.)

it turned out to be more polarizing than i expected so 🙃

[whats-another-song-contest]

I keep reading comments all over how disappointing the first Melfest heat was and apparently the least-watched Mello start in over a decade. There are even predictions about a possible NQ of Sweden (which I won't believe in because, well, it's Sweden and practically guaranteed around 20 televote points from Finland & Norway). According to Crystal Ball ESC on Twitter the next two heats are going to be even weaker than the first one, and there are speculations about the contest being rigged for Loreen since she got the ultimate pimp slot performing last in the last heat. What are your thoughts?

Oh, interesting question!

My feeling is that people are overreacting a bit by saying things like Sweden might have a non-qualifier before we've even heard all the entries. Another thing which I always keep in mind with esc stuff is the divide between the fans and the general public, since their tastes can differ drastically (see Latvia last year). As far as rigging the contest, I would say that's unlikely. I think that like most years we have a bunch of medicore songs and a few good ones, and because Loreen garners the most interest and likely has one of the better songs they've put her last to let people engage with the rest of the entries before she gets most of the attention (I'm also of the opinnion that people put too much store in the influence of the running order - just because it's the factor we know beforehand doesn't mean it'll be the most significant one on the actual night, when so many more and less predictable factors come into play). But I also only keep up with tumblr and YouTube comments, so I can't really evaluate the nuances of what fans are saying elsewhere.

I get where they're coming from though. To me it feels like mello has been running on empty for years now. Unlike countries with less established national selection procedures, where the varied selection processes may result in more diverse and risky entries, Melodifestivalen feels like a bohemuth whose deep roots make it very hard to shift. There is a very particular and established public perception of what mello is and should be in Sweden, and behind the scenes there is a whole industry which also helps maintain this expected fascade (how tired aren't we of hearing that the same few names have written most of the entries?).

It's like I said in my post comparing mello to doctor who: at this point mello keeps moving mostly on built-up momentum. But momentum doesn't allow for the quick turns and adaptions other countries can pull off so effortlessly. Momentum isn't a creative force, it's a derrivative one. For many countries, national selections are a sprint to be undertaken each year. Mello is a marathon we've been running since Björkman revolutionised the format in 2002. Another simile would be a garden: most countries plant new annuals every year, some have nice bushes they've been tending to for some years, and mello is the big old oak at the edge of the garden. It's majestic and showcases decades of dedicated hard work, yes, but no matter how much love and effort we keep puring into it, trees still grow old and wither. This particular one probably hit its prime over a decade ago.

I'm mixing my metaphors, but I think you get the point. We live in a very different world to 2002. We listen to and engage with music in ways you would struggle to explain to a 2002-ian if you were to go back in time and try. I think it's beyond argument that mello needs not just a reform, but to be revolutionised - the way they did in 2002 - to keep it interesting and relevant to current audiences: both the fans and the public at large. The transfer of management from Björkman to the new team (which happened before last year's edition) would have been a great opportunity for this to be done, but the tiny changes which actually were implemented are barely worthy of the name in my opinion. Behind the scenes they may have made a difference, but the experience of watching the show is very much the same - if not worse (glances at the painfully predictible voting procedure).

Real revolution would take inspiration, and that would equire entusiasm from people deeply familiar with the current landscape available to musical audiences. Mello feels like it's gone in the other direction, toward a more corporate "make a formula and stick to it" assembly line type deal. Though, I guess mello has never been the place you went for musical innovation; perhaps my tastes have just diversified with age. Either way, I agree with the general consensus that mello feels stale. There's a reason esc is my main interest, and it's the diversity of the music and performances. If mello feels more and more restrictive, esc is a liberating breath of fresh air. I can't wait for May to arrive!

[taylortruther]

and has the perception of her changed overtime, now that she does dress or act a little sexier? thinking of reputation specifically i guess!

Ok. So over the years asians celebs have also started dressing boldly so her dressing is still very tasteful. Like even K-Pop girlies wear short stuff all the time, they are okay with short dress as long as it doesn't appear to be purposeful. And dressing sexy is comparative right.. Compared to other popstars she doesn't do nudity or overtly sexy. They don't have a problem with the sexiness, it's about doing it purposefully and what they consider tasteless.. So changing Asian dynamics made it easier for her to still be pleasing

Also she is grown up now right. She dressed like a teenage when she was young and then she grew up and started dressing like a grown..they would find her weird if she dressed up like a child now. Like my dad after learning ariana's age was kinda shocked that her dressing is like a teenager.

And we are talking about Asian parent demographic right.. They don't listen to her songs or follow her religious. The press covers her but only important stuff not like western media. So a lot of people didn't watch rep tour.. Also they don't have a problem if it's all part of the act or for MV. I mean they might oll eyes but doesn't bother them that much.. Also they don't follow her a lot so theg don't know a lot of stuff and they are also not that interested in finding out .

As far as her lyrics are concerned.. Most of us are ESL and our parents are even less fluent in English even though they can understand it very well. They won't understand slang.. So unless it's spelled out the lyrics won't bother them. And taylor's lyrics are very clever and never blatantly sexy. So it's considered to be done very tastefully.

In short the whole thing that appeals to us is that being beautiful and sexy without trying too hard.. I only going to give you a sneak you have to imagine everything else is mad sexy. Like someone said folklore in streets and rep in sheets is an appealing thing😂😂

It's complex I can't spell for all asians because we are very culturally different depending on the country.. But overall the main thing is her being smart, kind and humble (this is true for most Asian countries)

Smart is very important because she is not the best vocalist right (decent but not ari Or adele type) .. So my mom would always tell how she was still successful despite not having a strong voice for a singer because she worked hard, used all the talents she had, was super smart. So that is super aspirational that she wasn't naturally gifted in regards to the main thing in her profession i.e. voice but still manged to become The Taylor Swift.

Also she seems very professional..never acted like spoilt brat and was not caught doing drugs or substance abuse..That is also considered a good trait for a celeb.🤷‍♀️ that why K Pop stars have such tight PRs

thank you for all this extra detail and context! and yes, definitely worth mentioning that obviously every country has its own culture and this is a broad generalization for the sake of discussion.

the kpop comparison is a great one to make. i was into kpop yeeeears ago and know how tightly their public personas are controlled, and how much effort goes into maintaining a trusted relationship with their fans... it's no wonder taylor would fit into that kind of celeb culture.

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Five years ago, the women on this site who treated me like trash over loving Labyrinth and shipping Jareth/Sarah were almost always obliviously consuming Radfem propaganda, or were out and out Radfems/Terfs themselves.

They were the types of people who casually threw the word “pedophile” around against grown women who shipped an adult Sarah with Jareth, aka literally one of the most popular ships for women in fandom for 30 years.

Pretty much invariably, these women had serious sex-negative anxieties, which included a severe paranoia about any and all kink and fetish, and porn in general. I saw a lot of shocking, fear-mongering propaganda surrounding sexual expression. Pretty much invariably, their method of approach involved immediate personal shock-value attacks on anyone they perceived to be “bad.”

Today, you can look at the way some people react to other popular so-called “problematic” ships and recognize the same toxic, fear-mongering rhetoric coming from women who consider themselves regular, trans-inclusive feminists. Sometimes it even manifests in the words of very well-meaning people (including myself here), who feel the need to talk about specific issues that pertain to their own experiences of trauma and oppression.

The people who shit on Labyrinth often seem to not really be able to comprehend that the Goblin King, like the film itself, is canonically a representation of a teen girl’s psyche, a soup of fears and anxieties and desires and dreams. He’s not a literal human adult preying on a literal child, and to read the film that way seriously undermines the entire point of the film. 

When I (and people of many fandoms) say “This is fiction, calm down,” I’m not just saying it’s not real so it cant hurt you and you can’t criticize me. I’m trying to call attention to what fiction actually is - artistic representations of feelings and experiences. The Goblin King is Sarah’s fiction. Therefore, he can be anything she or any woman who identifies with her wants him to be, including her lover when she’s grown and ready for such a thing.

I once took an alarming dive into Beetlejuice fandom to see what content was there (the cartoon was a favorite when I was little). Chillingly, what you’ll find is an extremely wounded fanbase, with a sharp divide between the older women who had long been shipping BJ/Lydia because of their love for the cartoon series (and whom were previously the vast majority of the Beetlejuice fandom), and a massive amount of young people riding the wave of the musical fad who had decided that the entire old school Beetlejuice fandom was populated by literal pedophiles. 

I saw death threats. Suicide baiting. Constant, constant toxic discourse. It did not matter how the BJ/Lydia fandom dealt with any particular issues that would exist in their ship, in fact I’m certain that the people abusing them cared very little to even consider if they were trying to handle it at all. The only thing that mattered was that they were disgusting subhuman scum asking for abuse. If you have at any time reblogged recent Beetlejuice fan art or content from fans of the musical, you have more than likely been engaging positively with the content of someone participating in toxic fandom behavior.

Nobody is really sticking up for them, either, as far as I saw. It’s really hard to imagine how painful it must be to have such a large group of people explode into into your relatively private fandom space to tell you that you are evil, vile, and deserve constant abuse, and also you are no longer allowed into the fandom space to engage in it’s content. But I think there’s something very alarming indeed about this happening specifically to the BJ fandom, and I’ll explain why. 

The pop-culture characterization of Beetlejuice, which is heavily influenced by the cartoon series to be clear, has always in my mind been a vaguely ageless being who matches with the psychological maturity of whatever age Lydia is supposed to be. He’s more or less like an imaginary friend, a manifestation of Lydia’s psyche. In fact, I would argue that i think most of us who grew up with the cartoon or it’s subsequent merchandizing before the musical ever existed probably internalized the idea as BJ and Lydia as this ageless, salt-and-pepper-shaker couple beloved by the goth community, similar to Gomez and Morticia. In each version of canon he may be a creepy ghost in the literal sense, but any adult who is capable of identifying literary tropes (even just subconciously) would read cartoon!BJ as an artistic representation of a socially awkward outcast girl’s inner world. Lydia’s darker dispositions and interests, which alienate her from most others, are freely accepted and embraced by her spooky magical friend. BJ/Lydia in the cartoon were depicted as best friends, but to my memory there was always an underlying sense that they had secret feelings for each other, which I identified easily even as a small child. In fact, their dynamic and behavior perfectly reflected the psychological development of the show’s target demographic. They are best friends who get into adventures and learning experiences together, who have delicate feelings for each other but lack any true adult romantic/sexual understanding to acknowledge those feelings, let alone pursue them.

Though I haven’t seen the Musical yet, I’ve read the wiki and I would argue that it embodies this exact same concept even more so for it’s own version of the characters, in that Beetlejuice specifically exists to help Lydia process her mother’s death.

This is not a complicated thing to recognize and comprehend whatsoever. In fact, it looks downright blatant. It’s also a clear indicator of what BJ/Lydia means to the women who have long loved it. It was a story about a spooky wierd girl being loved and accepted and understood for who she was, and it gave them a sense of solidarity. It makes perfect sense why those women would stick with those characters, and create a safe little space for themselves to and imagine their beloved characters growing and having adult lives and experiencing adult drama, in just the same ways that the women of the Labyrinth fandom do. That’s all these women were doing. And now, they can’t do it without facing intense verbal violence. That safe space is poisoned now.

Having grown up with the cartoon as one of my favorites and been around goth subculture stuff for decades, I was actually shocked and squicked at the original Beetlejuice film’s narrative once I actually saw it, because it was extremely divorced from what these two characters had evolved into for goth subculture and what they meant to me. It’s not telling the same story, and is in fact about the Maitland's specifically. In pretty much exactly the same way two different versions of Little Red Riding Hood can be extremely different from each other, the film is a different animal. While I imagine that the film version has been at the heart of a lot of this confused fear-mongering around all other versions of the characters, I would no more judge different adaptations of these characters any more than I would condemn a version of Little Red in which Red and the Wolf are best friends or lovers just because the very first iteration of LRRH was about protecting yourself from predators.

I would even argue that the people who have engaged in Anti-shipper behavior over BJ/Lydia are in intense denial over the fact that BJ being interested in Lydia, either as blatant predatory behavior a la the film or on a peer level as in the cartoon (and musical?) is an inextricable part of canon. Beetlejuice was always attracted to Lydia, and it was not always cute or amusing. Beetlejuice was not always a beloved buddy character, an in fact was originally written as a gross scumbag. That’s just what he was. Even people engaging with him now by writing OC girlfriends for him (as stand-ins for the salt-and-pepper-shaker space Lydia used to take up, because obviously that was part of the core fun of the characters), or just loving him as a character, are erasing parts of his character’s history in order to do so. They are actively refusing to be held responsible for being fans of new version of him despite the fact that he engaged in overt predatory behavior in the original film. In fact, I would venture to say that they are actively erasing the fact that Musical Beetliejuice tried to marry a teenager and as far as I’m aware, seemed to like the idea (because he’s probably a fucking figment of her imagination but go off I guess). The only reason they can have a version of this character who could be perceived as “buddy” material is because...the cartoon had an impact on our pop cultural perception of what the character and his dynamic with Lydia is. 

We can have a version of the Big Bad Wolf who’s a creepy monster. We can have a version who’s sweet and lovable. We can have a version that lives in the middle. We can have a version who’s a hybrid between Red and the Wolf (a la Ruby in OUAT). All of these things can exist in the same world, and can even be loved for different reasons by the same people.

I’ve been using Beetlejuice as an example here because it’s kind of perfect for my overall point regarding the toxic ideologies in fandom right now across many different spaces, including ones for progressive and queer media, and how much so many people don’t recognize how deeply they’ve been radicalized into literalist and sex-negative radfem rhetoric, to the point where we aren’t allowed to have difficult, messy explorations of imperfect, flawed humans, and that art is never going to be 100% pure and without flaw in it’s ability to convey what it wants to convey.

This includes the rhetoric I’ve seen across the board, from She-Ra to A:TLA to Star Wars to Lovecraft Country. We don’t talk about the inherent malleable, subjective, or charmingly imperfect nature of fiction any more. Transformation and reclamation are myths in this space. Everything is in rigid categories. It is seemingly very difficult for some of these people to engage with anything that is not able to be clearly labeled as one thing or another (see the inherent transphobic and biphobic elements of the most intense rhetoric). They destroy anything they cannot filter through their ideology. When women act in a way that breaks from their narrative of womanhood (like...not having a vagina), then those women must be condemned instead of understood. Anything that challenges them or makes them uncomfortable is a mortal sin. There is an extraordinary level of both hypocrisy and repressive denial that is underlying the behavior I’m seeing now. Much like toxic Christian conservatism, these people often are discovered engaging in the same behaviors and interests that they condemn behind closed doors (or just out of sheer cognitive dissonance). As an example, one of the people who talked shit to me about Labyrinth was a huge fan of Kill La Kill, which to my knowledge was an anime about a teenage girl in like, superpowered lingere (hence why I stayed the fuck away from that shit myself). Indeed, they even allow themselves plenty of leeway for behavior far worse than they condemn others for, and create support systems for the worst of their own abusers. 

Quite frankly, I’m tired. Instead of talking about theoretical problematic shit, we need to start talking about quantifiable harm. Because as far as I can tell, the most real, immediate, and quantifiable harm done because of anybody’s favorite ships or pieces of media seems to consistently be the kind that’s done to the people who experience verbal violence and abuse and manipulation and suicide baiting and death threats from the people who have a problem.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression radio version - Ep 26, March 2016 - Ideal female body shape, Child daycare shortage, Ban on beards.

After introducing Joe, Kaoru immediately welcomes Dobashi onto the show from the beginning. He then asks listeners to contact the show as always, and says he will send stickers to people who send interesting comments. Kaoru then reads out a message from a fan who says she was very impressed hearing about Joe's interview with Urasawa Naoki, and shares a similar kind of feeling of 'understanding' when she sees Dir play live. She also thinks Kaoru and Joe are good at talking, they are very clear with thier meaning when they talk, and they don't speak pointlessly. Joe feels happy to hear such praise, but Kaoru thinks they do actually say a lot of pointless stuff. He agrees thay they do talk a lot though. Dobashi thinks their off-mic talk is more fun. Kaoru says thier off-mic talk contains a lot of outrageous stuff. Even just before recording the show they were talking about stuff that couldn't ever be broadcast!

Kaoru's first news pick is about the net service 'Superdrug Online Doctors' which gathered data relating to the ideal female body type in 18 different countries around the world. A photo of the same model was given to each country, to be photoshopped into thier ideal body type. (Perceptions of Perfection - https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_55ccd2a6e4b064d5910ac3b0)

 Looking at the 18 images, Joe suggests they each choose thier fave, starting with him. Joe's favourite is the photo of the ideal female body type from the Ukraine. His reason is that she looks like she has just the right amount of 'meat' on her (i.e. not too thin, not too fat). Dobashi chooses the image from Serbia, because she looks like she has strong thighs. He doesn't like the thighs too big, but if they are too skinny, they don't do it for him. He wonders how they would feel wrapped around him 🤭 As for Kaoru, he feels a bit wierd looking at them, but chooses the image from Spain. He gives no reason for his choice. Joe says it really shows how each country's perception of beauty differs. It reminds him of a joke about a sinking ship with many nationalities on board. The Americans says, 'If we jump now, we'll be heroes!', the Italians say, 'If we jump now, we'll look cool'..etc etc, the Japanese say, 'Lets all jump together', and the Osakans say, 'Hanshin won!'. The point of this being, that standards differ around the world.

Moving on, Dobashi's first news story is that of an anonymous blogger who posted, 'My child didn't get into daycare! Die Japan!'. The post has attracted a lot of attention. It read along the lines of, 'What is going on in Japan? 100 million socially active. I've worked hard, paid my taxes, and my child can't even get a spot in daycare?!'. Many people sympathised with the post. Dobashi points out that although daycare  workers have a very demanding job, thier salary is very low. He says working conditions need to be improved for them, and thier numbers need to be increased. So much money was wasted creating the Olympic logo alone. Why can't they spend that on daycare centers? Kaoru brings up the topic of abuse in aged care home which had been in the news at that time too. He thinks this is also a big problem. He wants to take up these issues and increase awareness. Joe suggests they could make a show dedicated to this and discuss issues facing the listeners. They could really shake up the administration. The atmosphere is very  serious until they break out into laughter after realising how serious they got.

Dobashi's next story is about how two subway drivers are suing Osaka transportation bureau over thier new policy that drivers must shave thier beards. The two drivers in question did not comply, and had thier driver evaluations lowered as a result, which in turn lowered thier bonus payments. The policy was the brainchild of the Mayor of Osaka at the time, Hashimoto, who wanted city employees to engage in proper grooming, so banned beards. The two  employees were of the opinion that having a beard does not imply inadequate grooming, and they decided to sue. Kaoru says  that Hashimoto must think that beards are unhygenic, but he himself does not think this. He says Hashimoto is probably trying get society to fit with his own expectations. Joe says that this issue is at the level of beards now, but if it expands it will get into the territory of other types of discrimination, like racial discrimination etc. He says that what Hashimoto is doing is not right.

Dobashi mentions that it can be seen as smart/cool having a beard, especially in Europe. Its not obscene, says Kaoru, its fine to have one. Dobashi imagines a beard like Dostoevsky's, and Joe thinks the Osaka subway would be cool if the drivers had beards like that. Kaoru wonders whether beards just didn't suit the two drivers in the story. He can understand sports personalities etc not being allowed to grow beards if they have to maintain a certain image for thier sponser, but isn't so sure about forcing regular people. Dobashi feels uneasy about the idea of imposed 'grooming standards'. Joe says these things change so often over time too. Most of Japan's past leaders all had beards. Kaoru comments on beards in Spain, not that he has a thing for Spain though, he insists.

He says these beard rules remind him of school rules. Dobashi says at his high school, they carried out inspections on students' hair. If curls etc were spotted the students were forced to bring in photos of thier hair when they were kids, so that the school could check if it was thier natural hair. Kaoru says his school did this too. He was told his hair looked brown. He actually had dyed it brown though. They then comment on the culture in Japan of making everyone the same, and not letting anyone stand out. Standing out or doing your own thing is seen as a disturbance to the group, whereas overseas this is not always the case.

Kaoru finishes by saying he will give a sticker to the commenter from earlier in the show. He then says he is creating some BGM for this show using his blog by getting subscribers to make recommendations, and he has other plans for the show which he will announce next week. He then plugs his live Dvd and new single.

 Songs - Dir en grey/Inconvenient Ideal, Smashing Pumpkins/Stand inside your love.

[jaeger-soul]

HIIIIIII again! I definitely hear you, I could use to forget real life for a little while, too. Always sending you positive vibes ✨💞

The character limit is different now lol I don’t have to spam your inbox with six messages at a time when I write a lot, I can just send one long message😂 Thank you for the welcome wagon 🥰 After using tumblr without an account for 5 years, this is interesting LOL Just had your page bookmarked and that was the extent to which I used tumblr

Yeah I actually really like my music anon nickname so I used it for my username hereeeeee ✨🤣 Still music anon but also we can keep track of which anon is me since there’re a lot of us 😭.

They are lol I wish I could write for them but I have no idea how 😂 I’ve only successfully written one fanfiction for a different fandom and even that story I am crawling to the finish line because… idk it’s long and I feel like I’m not doing a good job lol it was actually me who told you a few months ago that I’m writing it but haven’t posted it anywhere and you told me I’m working hard and should share it and I agree with you lol I’m just nervous 😂

I love linkin park, three days grace, and simple plan and what is hilarious is that when I was really little, like REALLY LITTLE, all the adults and teens around me were playing them aloud and that’s how I heard them 😂but then in mid teen years. . . I won’t say what I was listening to lol 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅 I still listen to everything I was listening to then actually, but it wasn’t punk 😂 I just recently discovered how much I like punk and rock

I listen to everything too! I don’t know if I can say that I listen to country since I only know all of Miranda Lambert’s songs lol 😂 But I��d definitely listen to more

LOL 😂 I had never ever heard blink-182 before and in 2017 one of my favorite songs was Closer by the Chainsmokers and they said “stay and play that blink 182 song“ and I was curious but didn’t look up their songs until like 2019 😅

I am obsessed with almost by Bowling for Soup and I had never heard Ohio until now and I really like it so much, I think they couldn’t make any song and I would vibe with it 🤩🤩🤩🤩 And after Ohio went off, Pandora played I’d Do Anything but simple plan and I liked it 😊

Oooooooh wow okay yeah I get it and I agree with you, that makes sense for him to take some time off and to go a different direction if it’s better for him.

YAYYYYY SPOTIFY PLAYLIST PENDING ! ! IM HYPE 🤩✨🔥🤩✨🔥🤩✨🔥🤩✨🔥🤩✨🔥

Thanks for answering the Tatiana question lol 😂

If I say anything embarrassing in the future, I’ll request the private message LOL 😂

Also, 84 years LOL I see you sliding that number in there 🤣🤣🍀🍀🍀 And happy late Saint Patrick’s Day 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

the positive vibes are appreciated 🤍

if you ever wanna talk fanfic ideas for swagger bishie, i'm always down. i have so many ideas i want to write but i'm getting through stay first

you should post that story somewhere though - i'm sure you'll get great feedback and positive comments. and part of the fun of writing for fandoms is sharing our work with other fans so i say go for it

eta: i regularly feel like i'm not doing a good job with the stuff i write so like, you're not alone but also sometimes it is just your own perception of your writing coming from spending so much time with it and being too close to it to really see it objectively

dang growing up with adults blasting linkin park and shit would've been amazing. and as far as whatever you were listening to then that you're embarrassed about, you've got no need to be with me. i still regularly listen to my teen obsessions (nsync, jonas brothers, miley cyrus, justin bieber, one direction etc.)

idk like i don't want to tell you how to feel but i've just found that it's a waste for me to be embarrassed about something that once brought or still brings me joy 🤷‍♀️

i love the chainsmokers man, they've had me hooked for a long time

and happy saint patrick's day to you, too!

i thought of some more recs and i'm gonna put most of them on the playlist but i had to share this one with you cause it's got some major alex vibes from stay lmao

[gayregis]

this is kind of controversial so bear with me. as a slavic person i really feel like twn kind of “stole a part of our culture” (no not because there are poc, fuck the people who say that) like, the books and games have a really distinct slavic feel to them, even if they are inspired by europe in general, but twn kind of... throws all that out. it feels like just another western fantasy trying to be the next got. quite a few slavs have been trying to bring this to light but it’s greatly overshadowed by the numerous people simply being racist about the cast. this may seem dumb or like “white people pretending to be oppressed” but. slavs don’t really get the best treatment in western media as is and erasing us from one of our best known franchises kind of really sucks.

no i agree with this. i think the stupid fucking racists that are mad that there are actors of color in the series have totally taken this argument into red flag territory so that now it’s dangerous to broach this topic without attracting those freaks.

the witcher adaptation is not ‘slavic’ because it has no cultural reference to poland or any other parts of the region. both in writing and in visual design, it is incredibly generic and bland, as you said: “another western fantasy trying to be the next game of thrones.” this is disappointing and frustrating. 

i’ll speak from my perspective as an american witcher fan: i did not know anything about polish culture/language/etc from my public school and postsecondary education. the only time we ever were taught about the region was in education about world war II and the cold war (in which they don’t teach us anything except that “poland must have been weak because it fell so quickly, and it then was part of the big bad soviet union :( ew communism ew”. the closest thing to poland that we learn about is russia (NOT conflating the two, i’m just saying the closest in proximity/language group/etc), and we learn very negative things about russia. and i live in a “liberal” area of the US.

of course i’m nothing near an expert now, but i have learned more from being in this fandom, mostly because i have looked into the publishing of the books, differences between original text and the english translation(s), cultural references and mythology. and of course i have had way more conversations with mutuals/friends from poland than i ever would have if i had not joined the fandom.

things that highlight the witcher books being “polish/slavic” to me, that weren’t in the netflix series at all: writing, humor, character tropes and mythology, specific foods, specific social groups and distinctions (peasantry vs nobility), governmental offices and organization, pacing.

and it seems like it was scrubbed on purpose to make it more ‘palatable’ to a broader american/british audience. ... which didn’t have to happen at all!  a lot of what american audiences found interesting about the witcher (mostly demonstrated through the witcher 3) was its “uniqueness” in that it had a lot of cultural references that weren’t familiar to americans - for example the leshens in tw3 were quite popular because not many american fans had ever heard of them before, they sounded like a totally unique concept.

but they intended to take out the “distinct slavic feel” that you describe, ON PURPOSE:

this can be seen with people like alik sakharov running into conflict with lauren hissrich and the overall writing and visual direction:

The first season of Netflix's The Witcher was incredibly successful, but it did undergo a few changes on its way to the small screen, and that included a shift in directors. Alik Sakharov was originally going to direct episodes 1, 2, 7, and 8 of season 1, but only ended up directing episode 2 in full. Marc Jobst would reshoot significant parts of episode 1 and would take over 7 and 8, and up until now, we didn't really know why he departed. Showrunner Lauren S. Hissrich previously commented on his departure, but we finally heard from Sakharov in a new interview, and he broke down what he thought of his work on season 1 and why he ended up leaving

(...) Sakharov talked about the different points of view regarding the approach and vision for the show, and that conflict was the main reason why he left.

“You see, in my perception, Eastern-European literature has a completely different pace," Sakharov said. "It is no coincidence that Andrzej Sapkowski has so many storylines and characters. The producers set the task of setting the adaptation at an action pace and filling it with colorful special effects. That was their vision. My vision was very different and I tried to convey it to them, giving my arguments. Unfortunately, I was not considered convincing enough, so I decided to leave the project.”

The Witcher Director Explains Why He Left The Show

which is just so fucking annoying and disheartening because it’s part of what makes the witcher... the witcher. one can’t deny that sapkowski was largely influenced by the world around him (for better, or for worse... i’m looking at you, wwii antisemitism analogies with elves and dwarves instead...) and that was all taken out.

but they added so much sensationalist stuff to it - violence where it doesn’t make sense / isn’t necessary (the giant genocide that calanthe apparently carried out?), sex and nudity where it doesn’t make sense / isn’t necessary, all while taking away so much of the original text and dialogue, adding in cheap one-liners instead of paragraphs of emotion. the americanization of the media goes hand-in-hand with making it stupider, so it can reach the broadest possible audience to make the most possible amount of money.

and the effect of this is that all of the new fans coming in from the show don’t know anything about this and treat it like american media. one of the ways where this can be seen most prominently is how the fandom ‘affectionately’ nicknames jaskier “jask” ... and treats “buttercup” like a totally different pet name that geralt can call him... when... that’s not how... grammar and words work...

this is one of the reasons that i unironically like the hexer way more as an adaptation of the witcher books. one can’t deny that they’re more truthful to the original work. 

before this i’ve also read a little about how the witcher becoming a big thing (not even reaching the western countries yet) was important because before it, only western fantasies like tolkien were considered to “sell well” by publishers so they wouldn’t take their chances with a polish author. it can’t be denied that the witcher is a cultural phenomenon and gave more international representation to poland just overall and in arts/culture. and the netflix series totally washed this all away in their interpretation.

what makes me mad as well is that they had a great opportunity to use traditional polish folk wear / motifs / art in the costume and set design and visual direction of the whole thing, and they just completely did some random bullshit that looks horrible and grotesque (no one looks like they come from the same planet or time period, much less the same continent). it’s not “fantasy,” it’s just random and nonsensical. extremely disappointing considering how much potential they had to consult polish artists, costume designers, historians and medieval scholars. (the witcher doesn’t take place in medieval europe but it is certainly influenced by it, and imo historical direction in series like this are always good for the art.)

it’s also really fucking annoying that the netflix staff think they’re so progressive and amazing for adding in like 5 characters of color that almost all serve to support or antagonize the main white leads. the netflix series isn’t even good representation for people of color by a long shot imo and yet it’s touted by its showrunner as something extraordinary. why can’t we have people of color involved while also keeping what is considered as polishness or slavicness. it’s entirely possible, but netflix didn’t want to do either of those things because it wouldn’t get them as much money.

[desperateground]

since we're doing anti discourse i guess: the antis ive seen on their own blogs (as opposed to other blogs askboxes) seem more concerned with media that portrays pedophilia in a positive light, as that very much can influence people into thinking it isn't THAT bad. If portrayed as the bad thing it is, they dont mind. Personally, do you see a difference in something that goes "heres an adult in love with a child, how sweet" as opposed to "heres an adult in love with a child, isnt that fucked up?"

under a cut cause this got long

I would love to be on the internet where you are, because it sounds a lot more reasonable than the one I live on, where stuff like this just makes me go ???

the thing is that fiction actually does influence people’s perceptions of reality, and we ought to care about that! if a person grows up watching movies where cops break the rules but it’s OK because they’re the good guys; or where stalkerish and manipulative behavior counts as “grand romantic gestures” that obligate a woman to date a man; or where Black people are depicted as uneducated and violent, of course that is going to color their opinions of the world.

and there are a lot of really good conversations being had about issues like that, and we absolutely need to have those conversations about responsible media creation and consumption. this power can be used for good as well as for evil. many people cite shows like Will & Grace as helping turn the tide of public opinion against seeing “homosexuality” as deviant and instead seeing gay people as “normal” and “lovable” and “relatable.” superman was a beloved enough All-American Hero that a storyline where he fights the KKK is credited with helping turn the KKK from a mainstream fraternity into something seen as a fringe hate group.

so i would agree that a giant wave of media with positive depictions of pedophilia would be concerning. 

however, we do not currently live in a world where “here’s an adult in love with a child, how sweet” is a major issue in media narratives such that people are absorbing the attitude that pedophilia is fine, cool, and good.

in fact, pedophilia is such a hated subject that we have a whole political movement in my country based on people calling anyone they dislike a “pedophile” and accusing them of all sorts of depraved shit involving children. most people who have sexual inclinations toward children are fully aware that these desires are at odds with society and that they will become pariahs if these desires were known to others.

(In fact, this level of ostracization can put people at a higher risk of offending, because they feel hopeless, have nowhere to turn for support, and figure if they’re going to be a pariah anyway, they may as well do the one thing they can think of that feels good. Forcing conversations about this to go completely underground means that you end up with awful groups like nambla dominating the conversation and convincing lost, lonely, frightened people to hop on board with their dangerous attitudes. if the only people safe to talk to about this stuff are people who will excuse, justify, encourage, and promote offenses against children, it makes sense that people would end up in their grip. You can read more here and here.)

much of the “media” that these “antis” are up in arms about is fan created content intended for a small population. the people creating content that riles up antis generally recognize that this is not mainstream content and use things like tags and content warnings to set it aside from other content. the notion that certain tropes in fanworks are going to bring about a massive cultural shift is a bizarre slippery-slope argument, and i think people's energy would be better focused on problems that are actually currently existing rather than a potential future where a few tags on ao3 have become dominant themes in network television and blockbuster movies. 

another issue here is that when an “anti” uses the term “pedophilia,” it’s completely unclear what they are actually referring to. a reasonable person would assume that they mean “a sexual relationship between an adult and a child,” but the definitions of “adult,” “child,” and “sexual relationship” have gotten so blurry within this discourse that it’s impossible to determine what’s being discussed. i’ve seen people claim that any relationship is inherently “pedophilic” if the characters have any sort of age gap, if there is any sort of power imbalance, if they both belong to the same “found family,” or even if one looks younger in appearance.

so when someone says “fictional narratives that depict pedophilia in a positive light,” they may actually be referring to “fictional narratives that depict any relationship I don’t like,” which is such a vague and meaningless statement that it becomes completely useless.

finally, your actual question is whether I personally see a difference between stories where the narrative perspective seems to critique the relationship vs stories where the narrative perspective romanticizes the relationship. i think your question is...hard to answer, because there is just too much there.

first off, it’s not always easy to tell whether a story is “vilifying” vs “glamorizing” something. people watch movies like fight club and take away very different thematic messages about whether the protagonist is someone to admire and emulate. if we say that depictions of abuse are only “good” or “allowed” if the narrative clearly portrays the abuse as “fucked up,” then we’re going to have to establish a High Court of AP English Teachers to determine exactly what narrative devices are employed and how, and that’s just...not...workable.

also, some people like the “fucked up”-ness of these stories; if you’re trying to say that something is bad if people “enjoy it” or “get off” on it or “indulge” in the darkness of the content, then it doesn’t matter if the story itself is wagging its finger at the naughty, naughty reader. the taboo, the erotic, and the deviant are, and have always been, wrapped up in each other. you can depict something as “bad” and yet still “fun;” it becomes a useless distinction when talking about sexual content. 

do i personally see a difference, when it comes to my own enjoyment? yeah, absolutely. i stopped watching game of thrones not because it included rape, but because the way the cinematography, musical score, etc. made it clear that the show was expecting me to feel a certain way about those images, and i didn’t appreciate that. i also didn’t appreciate the directorial decision to give more dignity to a dog’s death by cutting to black than to violence against women. i would probably not enjoy a book or movie that’s just about how awesome and fun it is to hurt people; though i did like clockwork orange - i found the narrator abhorrent, but interesting.

but i think trying to split hairs about what does and doesn’t count as Problematic or Allowable Content, or trying to tell people that what they create and/or consume is Bad and they are Bad for doing it, because its inclusion of dark themes is Doing It Wrong - it’s not helpful. it’s impossible to develop a standard for what is “doing it wrong vs doing it right” that makes any sense, and even if you did, enforcing it through campaigns of hatred and social vilification is not going to be effective. 

[untamedunrestrained]

The Untamed and Mo Dao Zu Shi

These past eight days have been surreal.

I have drowned so fully in this story that it feels like I am just surfacing.

On Valentine’s Day, fandom on tumblr reblogged this fanart of WangXian by qulfeeh and I was intrigued. The reblog was tagged with two important key words ‘Wangxian’ and ‘The Untamed’. In the brush of a few keystrokes I came across the Wikipedia page for a show known as the Untamed that was available on Netflix. The thing that stood out was that it was based on a BL novel and that both the very male protagonists were described as each other’s soulmates and somehow that was enough. So, I opened Netflix and after like a second of hesitation I started watching the show and I didn’t stop. I started at eight in the evening and I watched nine episodes in a row which basically meant I was up till five in the morning. What followed seems like a record for me. I finished all fifty episodes of the Untamed in under seventy-two hours.

I put hardly five minutes of thought into my decision to watch this story and ended up dedicating the past eight days straight. The first three days to the live action drama and the past five to reading the novel.

If it isn’t obvious this story is that good.

The Untamed

The Untamed is a first for me on so many levels. I have never watched a Chinese show before ever and that seemed extremely significant to me because China is actually a neighbouring country yet as far as my mind is concerned it might as well be on another planet. Which seems particularly odd considering shows from English speaking countries like the UK and the US are a staple for me which makes these countries feel so much closer though they are geographically on the other side of the planet. Of course, a major factor is the language barrier but another is the political scenario between our two countries and amazingly this show made me realise how much of an impact perceiving different cultures can have on your perception of their people. It has literally opened up a whole new world for me that I have just realised I have never taken the moment to discover. Well, considering this is me we are talking about, how appropriate, that it would be a drama based on a BL novel that unlocked this whole new world for me.

I have tried reading a Danmei novel before which was awful and it completely turned me off the genre but it did have a side effect of educating we about elements of a wuxia novel which made this xianxia world seem a little familiar but even if it hadn’t, I would have still been hooked.

It didn’t take long for The Untamed to find a new fan and I have been obsessing over it ever since.

The Untamed is an amazing drama which revolves around the love Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian have for each other and the plot is so intriguing that you wouldn’t be able to stop even if you tried (I didn’t because that thought didn’t even manage to enter my mind).

It’s a love story and that is undisputable for me, they don’t say it, it isn’t mentioned but there is this palpable force influencing events and you know they love each other. I have somehow really disregarded how much a show can show you stuff without ever explicitly stating it but The Untamed set me straight in that regard. I doubt anyone who watches the show would mistake it for anything but the love story it is.

Wei WuXian was an instant hit for me. He is a lovable, gregarious character always up to mischief but is someone who always wants to be on the side of justice and I have a weak spot for characters with a hard on for justice. He is just such a lively character who keeps smiling all the time that it’s just hard not to fall for him in minutes. His antics and his demeanour are so charming that you’re hooked. He would have easily been my most favourite character in any other drama that doesn’t have a Lan WangJi.

Lan WangJi is an amazing character. In a world, which has become increasing about everyone voicing their opinions (like I’m doing at present) it is hard to believe that people like Lan WangJi exist. People who are quiet, who don’t speak unless absolutely necessary. He is literally the embodiment of tranquillity and more important he is Wei WuXian’s hero. Like literally he protects him like he’s protecting his life which on second thought he definitely is.

I literally had second-hand embarrassment from how obviously romantic these two are.

Hands down the best thing I have watched in 2020 by far! The characters are amazing, the plot is intricate and it is so, so interesting. I watched almost fourty hours of this series non-stop and I don’t remember a single point where I felt like the story became boring for a second which now that I think about it is, is… astonishing. How can such a large drama be so engrossing? This isn’t binge-worthy there is literally no other way to watch the show!!!

Mo Dao Zu Shi

But after coming down from the high of the first seventy-two hours of being submerged in this world, I was reluctant to leave this world so much so that I didn’t even contemplate it. I had a wide variety of media to choose from. The story is based on a web series by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu that was made into a manhua, followed by an donghua, followed by an audio drama followed by The Untamed. It must speak to the universality of the story that the people are willing to read the same story in so many different formats, I know I’m not done.

But, high up on my list was the source material, one of the articles described the show as being extremely faithful to the novel, which made me want to jump on that wagon posthaste, and I agree whole-heartedly. I read the translation by Exiled Rebels Scanlations and what struck me was how the show and the novel were tonally the same. I had switched mediums but it didn’t feel like a different story or like I was reading different characters which is shocking because that’s literally how good the show was at translating words into video.

Differences

One of the startling things about the book is that it really ties up the plot neatly. There are tons of plot points that aren’t as completely resolved on the show as they are on the novel which I only ever realised after reading the novel. A lot of this had to do with how certain details of the plot are different. A classic example that the reason behind the scars on Lan Zhan’s back is different in the two. In the novel, LWJ whisks WWX away from the Nightless City after he massacres and pretty much beats-to-a-pulp the entire alliance of sects. LWJ then has to tend to WWX so they remain in hiding for three days. When cultivators from the GusuLan Sect finally discover the two, LWJ has to defeat all of them to keep WWX safe and that’s why he is given one whipping for every cultivator he defeated. Of course, since WWX dies on the battlefield in the show this couldn’t be the reason behind the scars so they have LWJ defend Burial Mounds which wasn’t all that fruitful considereing the LanlingJin Clan does end up with a lot of WWX’s artifacts, there was no point in defending Burial Mounds as he couldn’t have kept it up in the long run but him going to Burial Mounds after the massacre at Nightless City is important to ensure they story can credibly reveal Lan ShiZui to be A-Yuan. So, yeah differences, the show focuses on the Wen Clan and the Yin Iron while the novel doesn’t have the Yin Iron at all and focuses on Jin GuangYao. But, despite the differences the story still feels coherent between the two mediums mainly because the relationship between LWJ and WWX that is at the core of both remains central to the plot at all times.

The plot of the novel though is extremely intricate and the author does an amazing job of deconstructing it which makes it easier to understand what’s happening while the show in hindsight does get away with sweeping up certain loose ends.

Of course, the kisses and the sex are gone but I will gladly take that cliff scene in exchange. I was actually shocked that the novel actually doesn’t dwell on WWX’s first death at all. Like, we don’t even know how exactly he died in the novel and this was hsocking given how pivotal that cliff scene is in the show.

Characters

Surprisingly though a lot of the roles of side characters were expanded for the show, the novel seems to have delivered a better understanding of these characters. The biggest example for me being Jiang Yanli.

She has an elaborately expanded role in the show which does highlight how deep her bind with her brothers particularly WWX is but somehow she seems like a timid character among a bunch of very strong characters. What the novel does is that it gives you a very realistic picture of her, she might not seem like a significant influence on the story but her impact is far-reaching. The novel doesn’t showcase much of her character but the scenes that feature her in the book are some of the most poignant ones and incidentally those are the same ones that stand out in the show. I feel like novel did a better job of showing off her strength. While, in the show I couldn’t look beneath her timid demeanour the novel manages to showcase the strength of her love. She cares deeply and loves deeply and the novel manages to show you the courage it takes to love someone so deeply. I definitely admire her character more and in fact I’m kind of in awe that someone who appears so traditional was so awesome. It felt easy to dismiss her character but reading the author’s words made me realise that I would be very, very wrong in doing so.

Wei WuXian might be the luckiest guy in the world to have a shijie like her followed by a husband like LWJ who both seem very determined to spoil the hell out of him. I might be experiencing some jealousy right now.

The author somehow manages to imbue her characters with qualities that makes them real and unique. Like WWX forgetting everybody’s face which is a real world problem that I have never seen anybody suffer from in a novel but just the fact that WWX doesn’t immediately bring his old hang-ups in his subsequent meetings with side characters didn’t only have hilarious consequences but made everything that much more intriguing and credible.

This author also does an amazing job of flipping characters. There are very few villains who are black and white in this story. WWX himself is a character caught in the gray of it all, universally reviled for standing up for the right reasons. This is a theme throughout the show and the novel where bad characters might be good and good might be bad but the author endeavours to show us all sides to a character. While this most definitely applies to Jin GuangYao, I’m surprised with how it resonates with Xue Yang who’s relationship with Xiao Xinchen can only be characterized with the words “It’s Complicated”. I don’t actually know what to think of these two Xiao Xingchen was definitely betrayed but can we ignore the fact that he found himself a companion in Xue Yang his sworn enemy and Xue Yang’s feelings for Xiao Xingchen are enough to drive me crazy. This guy has no idea how frustrating he is, that piece of candy clenched in his fist will drive me crazy for the rest of my life. The entire Yi City Arc is a big mess of grey there are no whites and blacks and the show underscores that with this quote –

Once upon a time, there was a little child who liked sweets very much. But because he had no parents nor money, he could never have such things. So he’d been dreaming if only someone could give him a candy every day.

Don’t even get me started on the music that plays in the background when this quote is being narrated.

There are just so many amazing things about the show and the novel. I mean the show might have actually worked harder to make things more romantic and one scene that I’m surprised isn’t from the book is the lantern scene with both of them making pledges like that particular scene neatly underlined who WWX is and would become. The hand-fastening scene is also not from the book but then there are other scenes and other delights to be found in the novels.

This story is definitely worth reading and watching for years to come. If anyone has any apprehensions about the novel I will be glad to clarify but the everything about “The Untamed” and “Mo Dao Zu Shi” stand in the same breath.

[jimimn]

HI ITS ME WHO'S NOT OVER JJK BLONDE SELFIE AND WILL NEVER BE -💫

HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO <33333333

HONESTLY ITS THE WAY YOH SAY SUCH NICE THINGS AND I DISAPPEAR FOR DAYS ON END BECAUSE INCONSISTENCY BLEEDS INTO EVERY CORNER OF MY LIFE FNEKALKD BUT I'M GETTING DONE WITH MY FIRST LEG OF EXAMS ON MONDAY SO YAY TO THAT!! OKAY I THINK WE'LL MOVE SLOWLY WITH BABY STEPS JUNGKOOK DROPPED SOME SELCAS JIMIN DROPPED SOME SELCAS IN THE WORDS OF THE LEGENDARY JEON JUNGKOOK ALL WE NEED NOW IS "together..BAM!" (THAT'S LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOMENTS EVER THE WAY HE SAYS IT 🤧)

YES IN THIS HOUSE WE SCREAM OVER JIMIN'S DISRESPECT HE IS THE PARAGON OF A MULTI-FACETED MAN THAT HAS US WRAPPED AROUND HIS FINGER. THE AUDACITY 😤

CHANEL X JIMIN LETS MAKE IT HAPPEN AND OMG THAT SELFIE THAT DROPPED?? SIR???? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?? I MEAN YES BH SAID LET'S DROP SELFIES IN BULK BUT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM IN BLACK(GREY? I DONT KNOW FHSKKAJF) WITH THE SHIRTS UNBUTTONED!!! THEM COLLARBONES ARE FREE AND THEY'RE THRIVING IN THE OPEN IN THAT ONE. ALSO HIS LIPS ARE SO PRETTY. OH GOD LITERALLY HE HAS THAT COCKY SMIRK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE KNOWS HE DOES HOT BOY SHIT LIKE SHUT UP OK YOU CANT DO THAT JAIL FOR U NDNSLSKAJJW

SUCH A FUCKING TEASE THATS RIGHT!! EVEN STRAIGHT MEN?? BRO LIKE HOW DO YOU HAVE ALL GENDERS JUST TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES FOR YOU IT'S INSANE AND OMG MISS SHIVI HAVE YOU SEEN THAT ONE CLIP IN WHICH JIMIN HOLDS HIS GAZE WITH THESE MEN WHO LOOK AT HIM (i think it was bon voyage?) and when they cross each other he JUST SMIRKS AND RUNS HIS HAND THROUGH HIS HAIR LIKE YEAH OK ALEXA PLAY I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. AND YES I'LL LISTEN TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY ANYTIME 💗💗

12PM KST IS THE HOLY HOUR I TELL YOU ALTHOUGH I REMEMBER WAITING THE NIGHT BEFORE BE CAME OUT WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO COME AND BH WAS JUST LIKE "yea...no" OMG THAT'S AWESOME YOUR COUSIN'S VISITING YOU

HHFJDOSO YEAH IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE THEY DID THE JUMP ALTHOUGHHHH I'M POSITIVE THEY'LL DO SMTH COOL LIKE THAT IN THEIR CONCERTS BECAUSE THEIR PERFORMANCE QUALITY IS JUST.. THROUGH THE ROOF IT'S CRAZY!! WHEN THE PERFORM WINGS?? LIKE HOLY SHIT NO CHOREO NO POSITIONS JUST BTS RUNNING AROUND THE STAGE MAKING THE CROWD GO FERAL I LOVE EVERY WINGS PERFORMANCE SO MUCH MY SEROTONIN LEVELS ARE ALWAYS AT A HIGH THEN. OOHH MY GODDD BS&T IS REALLY THAT BITCH!!!! WHO'S DOING IT LIKE HER TODAY NO ONE IS EXACTLY. AND NOOOO I TOTALLY GET IT WE THINK ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH THAT ACCIDENT HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON ME. IF ONLY YOU'D TOLD ME THEN IN 2016 THAT THAT ACCIDENT WAS THE START OF SO MANY I'D BE PREPARED FOR EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWED (see: him basically stripping himself that one serendipity performance. holy shit.)

FOR REAL THO CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED OUT OF NOWHERE AND DO YOU REMEMBER JIMIN SAYINF uUH iM nOt wORkInG oN a SoLo SoNg aT ThE mOmEnT heHe LIKE ALL MEN DO IS LIE OK AT THIS POINT. BYE. YES TAEHYUNG DID WARN US BUT ARMYS (LIKE MYSELF) PUT THEIR CLOWN WIGS ON AND THOUGHT IT WAS KTH1 LMAO. OMG I HOPE YOU DON'T SLEEP THROUGH ANY OF THEIR UPCOMING SONG RELEASES BUT I'M SURE IT'S THE BEST FEELING TO WAKE UP TO CHECK YOUR NOTIFS AND SEE "Big Hit Labels" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE FIREEE. DUDE SERIOUSLY I NEED JIMIN TO GO LIVE AGAIN (although we've been well fed by namjoon for now🤧😌💗) LIKE THAT ONE YT LIVE WHERE HE SAID "O...M...G" SHUT UP STOP BEING SO CUTE I'M DHJSWLIFJWKALS

LMAO OKAY YEAH THAT'S VALID YOUR BLOG THEME IS BASICALLY ✨jimin✨ AND I LOVE THAT IT REALLY GRAVITATED ME AND YOUR URL OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD YOUR BRAINNN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

YES YES YES JIMIN IS SO PERFECT AND THE SOCK DOODLESSS 😭😭😭 oooo so when did you get into giffing? how did you start? BROOOOO YOUR URL'S ORIGIN STORY. I LOVE IT WOW YES IT'S DEFINITELY GOT THE REQUIRED ✨pazzaz✨

NOOO OMG THIS URL IS YOUR BRAND LIKE YOU'RE A LEGEND ON ARMYBLR I LOVE IT SO MUCH. BUT STILL!! IT'S YOUR CHOICE AT THE END 💖

OMG QUARANTINE DID IT'S ONE GOOD JOB AND GOT YOU INTO BANGTAN YAY. OMG YOU AND MISS LIFEGOESMON ARE FRIENDSS??? LEGENDS INTERACTING THIS IS SO COOL. LMAO THE PARADIGM SHIFT YOU MUST'VE FELT FROM LISTENING TO STAY GOLD (WHICH BTW THE MV...THE LITERAL CUTEST OH GOD THE LITTLE DOG AND JIMIN'S LITTLE SMILES DHSJAOWO) TO THEN GOING TO BST IN WHICH JIMIN IS BASICALLY STRIPPING AND JUNGKOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO. YES BS&T HAS EVERYONE HOOKED THE POWERRRR. YOU FALLING DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH YOUR FRIEND'S ASSISTANCE OH GOD THIS IS SO CUTE 💓 EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

AAAAH OKAY MY STORY ISN'T AS INTERESTING AS YOURS IS BUT IN 2016 BASICALLY ALL I KNEW OF KPOP WAS GANGNAM STYLE AND WASNT WILLING TO CUANGE THAT PERCEPTION (FOOL BEHAVIOUR I TELL YOU) AND WAS TOO BUSY OBSESSING OVER ONE DIRECTION'S REUNION AND SO ONE NIGHT (THE NIGHT BEFORE JIMIN'S BIRTHDAY 🤧🤧) I JUST STUMBLED UPON THEIR BS&T TEARS MV AND I HEARD IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! THIS IS THAT SUPER ADDICTIVE SONG THAT I'D HEARD SOMEWHERE AND IT JUST SPIRALLED FROM THERE I REMEMBER SEEING JIMIN AND BEING LIKE 👀👀👀👀 WHO IS HE I LIKE HIM AND JUST HIS AURA DREW ME IN SOOO MUCH AND WHEN I WAS GETTING INTO THEM I REMEMBER WRITING THEIR NAMES IN MY NOTES TO SEE IF I COULD REMEMBER 🤧 AND I STILL HAVE THAT NOTE FROM 4+ YEARS AGO 💓 AND YEAH BASICALLY SEEING THEM DO ALL THE MUSIC SHOWS AND STUFF AT THE TIME WAS SO COOOL AND MIND YOU BH DIDN'T HAVE SUBS FOR BANGTAN BOMBS THEN SO WENT ON THESE SKETCHY DAILYMOTION TYPE SITES LOOKING FOR ALL THE CONTENT I COULD CHURN OUT LMAO

AND YES!! COURTESY OF YOU I DID WATCH SOME RUN EPS!! I WATCHED THEIR CANADA ONES SPEAKING OF WHICH I LOOOVE THAT PART WHERE THEY'RE DOING THAT SONG GUESSING THING IN THE MORNING AND JIMIN SAYS "are you cold?" 🥺🥺 TO TAE AND HUGS HIM URRHRHEHSJSJSH AND I ALSO SAW THE ONES WITH THE PUPPIES GODDDDD I LOVE THE PUPPIES ONE SO MUCH LITERALLY JUNGKOOK AND HIS DOG (MIRI?) OH MY GOD THAT LIL FLUFFER AND ADAM IS MY ICON WITH HOW HE JUST DID HIS OWN THING LMAO.

BUT ANYWAY!! DO YOU HAVE A FAVE ERA?? LIKE DO YOU EVER LOOK AT THEM AND GO "Damn I wish I was a fan then" BECAUSE HONESTLY I WISH I HAD STANNED THEM IN THEIR DOPE ERA BUT I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE SURVIVED JIMIN THEN DHKSOWID-💫

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME!!!!!!! ITS OKAY!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!!!! AND YAYYYYY CONGRATS I HOPE THE FIRST LEG OF EXAMS WENT WELL <333333 AND OH MY GOD you’re gonna make me cry with the together baam goddddddd same one of my fave moments and jimin’s giggles after that 😭😭😭😭 my babies <3 :((((

that..... black suit selca....... that opened button...... like open one more dear sir who’s stopping you... just do it <33333 YEAH he totally needs to shut up with his i know im hot side it just kills me every single time 😭😭😭😭😭

LISTEN THAT BV3 MOMENT  S H O O K  ME OKAY????? THOSE GUYS LOOKED AT HIM AND HE WAS SO FUCKING SMUG ABOUT IT (AND HE SHOULD BE) AND THE WAY HE LICKED HIS LIPS AND RAN HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR????? LIKE HE KNOWS HE HAS EVERY SINGLE PERSON; NO MATTER WHAT GENDER; WRAPPED AROUND HIS LIL PINKY LIKE THAT???????

OH MY GOD ME TOO I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE THE WINGS STAGE AND WATCHING THEM HAVE SO MUCH FUN IS JUST SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I ALSO ABSOLUTELY LOVVVEEE THEIR ENERGY DURING THE SY TOUR MEDLEY WITH IDOL AND BAEPSAE AND FIRE AND DOPE ZSXDFGFCHGVJBHJN THEY JUST LOSE THEMSELVES IN THE CROWD AND THE MUSIC AND ITS JUST SO FUCKING SURREAL TO WATCH HOW MUCH THEY ENJOY DOING WHAT THEY DO!!!!! kinda makes me want to find that happiness and passion in whatever i do in my professional life <3 and LISTEN jimin said the break the soul commentary THAT HE COULD DO SERENDIPITY SHIRTLESS TOO. THE AUDACITY. HE SAID THAT WITH HIS WHOLE CHEST. 

YOU KNWO WHAT I THINK JIMIN WON’T GIVE US A HINT BEFORE DROPPING PJM1. HE’LL JUST DROP IT ONE FINE DAY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE HE DROPPED PROMISE AND CHRISTMAS LOVE (i wasn’t here when he dropped promise but i read that on twitter sdfghjkl) AND NO PLS NO I DO N O T WANT TO SLEEP THROUGH JJK1 OR KTH1 OR PJM1 OR KSJ1 OR NAMGI MIXTAPE 3 OR HOBI MIXTAPE 2 OR ANYTHING BASICALLY YOU GET IT i had slept through dynamite cb because i had NO CLUE that they were gonna drop it at 1pm kst rather than 12 am kst. i was under the impression that since they dropped all the teaser pictures and the teaser itself as 12 am kst, the mv will drop at 12 am kst too. and I woke up like two hours after the mv dropped (which was almost noon my time) and i felt like A FUCKING FOOL AND I JUST 😭😭😭😭 NEVER WANT TO FEEL LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN 😭😭😭 

AND YES BABIE NEEDS TO COME LIVE SOON PLS I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH :((((( AND HIS O...M.....G HAD MADE ME FUCKING SOBBBBBBBBBBB his yt live god he looked sooooooo fluffy with his hair and his tiny hands and his puppy eyes and soft voice im just so 😭😭😭😭😭😭

NO NONNONONONO PLEASE IM NO LEGEND DON’T SAY THAT IM EMBARRASSED im just a normal fangirl who makes okayish gifs 😭😭 and ok yes so i started giffing LONNNGGGGGG time back on a different public fan forum from my country but i never knew the right process and stuff so obviously the gifs were shitty lmao BUT ANYWAY i got into gifmaking PROPERLY this in july last year and obviously struggled a lot in the beginning because i didn’t know shit about colouring and stuff lmao but i kept practicing and even though im not perfect rn i do think that i got better. i love giffing tho. its such a nice creative outlet and whenever i gif the boys it brings me so much happiness :( <33

AND YES ASDFGHJKL ME AND HER ARE FRIENDS SINCE A VERY LONG TIME SDFGHJK LIKE LONG BEFORE BOTH OF US GOT INTO BTS SDFGHJ and ah yes the whiplash lmaooooooo and you’re right god the stay gold mv is SO FUCKING PRETTY THE COLOURS IN THAT ENTIRE MV HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND JIMIN AND TAE AND JOON WITH THE DOGGO JUST EVERYTHING SDFGHJK <3333333 AND BS&T DUDE I GIFFED THE MV YESTERDAY AND IM 💀💀💀💀💀 (like i just giffed jimin from the mv but i did watch the whole thing 5647589 times <333333) AND GUESS WHAT!!!!!! I WAS A LILLY SINGH FAN (IDK IF YOU KNOW HER SHE’S A YOUTUBER) BACK IN 2016 AND PEOPLE BACK THEN HAD REQUESTED HER TO REACT TO BS&T MV AND I HAD WATCHED HER REACTION VIDEO AND (although it didn’t stick with me back then because i was a fucking fool) I DID SOMEHOW REMEMBERED THE JIN AND STATUE KISSING MOMENT AND WHEN IN 2020 I SAW THE MV AND SAW THE KISSING MOMENT MY BRAIN JUST!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS LIKE HOLY SHIT I HAVE SEEN THIS BEFORE SOMEWHERE AND THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD SEEN THIS IN THE REACTION VIDEO LMAOOOOO i wish i hadn’t been a fool and gotten into them back then :((((

AH NO OMG YOUR STORY IS SOOOOOOO CUTEEEEEEEEEE ATLEAST YOU WEREN’T A FOOL LIKE ME TO NOT GET ATTRACTED TO BS&T THE FIRST TIME OF SEEING IT!!!! I WANNA HIT MY 2016 SELF LIKE DAMN YOU YOU FOOLISH ASSHOLE AND yes omg how did y’all do the subs thing damnnnnn i can’t imagine

AND YES THE CANADA RUN EPIS ARE LOOOVVVEEEE and that vmin moment plsssssss i cry everytime 😭😭😭😭😭 it is just so soft and innocent and tae’s little smile after jimin just turns around and hugs him 😔😔😔😔 i love soulmates 😔😔😔😔 AND MIRI YES OMG EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED BY THE LITTLE CUTIE AND THE WAY JUNGKOOK JUST KEPT ADORING HER THROUGHOUT MADE ME SO SO SOFTTTT and bro adam is me. i am like that. lazy and un-motivated AF. although if i were a dog and jin were to be my owner i would listen to him so well and jump on him every chance i’d get 😌😌😌

GOD YES RED HAIR DOPE ERA JIMIN 💀 BABIE BUT MAKE IT SEXY 🥵🥵 AND OMG YESDGFHG MY FAVE ERA IS HYYH. ORANGE HAIRED JIMIN. PLS. HE’S EVERYTHING. I WISH I HAD GOTTEN INTO THEM DURING THAT. LIKE THAT ERA IS ..... SOMEHOW SO FUCKING WILD AND STILL SO ASSURING AND CALMING ????? KEEPS ME ROOTED LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN DFGHJKL AND WINGS TOO DAMN I WISH I WAS HERE TO LIVE ALL THOSE AMAZING ERAS. but even though i wish i had gotten into them earlier... i think i found them when i needed them the most. I was going through a very difficult time last year and they somehow they made me feel so fucking safe and at home that the connection was instant. honestly i’ve never stanned or felt a connection with any celebrity as strong as the one i feel with bangtan. its like... they don’t know i exist but they still know EXACTLY what im feeling and what to say or do at that time to make me feel comforted. Its weird god but its true :((( SORRY I GOT EMO I JUST LOVE THEM A LOT SDFGHJKL

[redglassesgirl-maruma]

20th Anniversary MA Event - Fourth Week Activity From November 23 to November 30 Tuesday - Theories about the future of the plot in the novels

Hello everyone,

First I apologize because this post is really delayed, my attempt at scheduling something beforehand failed miserably.

Today I encourage you to share your theories about the future of the novels! Please go crazy if you want, anything you may want to write about this is welcome. Do art too if that’s your cup of tea~

I would also like to feature an old discussion where @marumafan talks about this topic here. She has really awesome posts about the series in general so you can dig a little bit more in her blog too if you want.

And I’ll share my personal view under the cut at the end of the post as my entry for today ^^

Remember to tag your posts with #MAnniversary 2020 and #MA Event This is the link to the main post

Don’t hesitate to keep sharing your art and fics tagging the event even if this week theme is different.

About the ending of the novels

I am not really a fan of the “sad ending” and it’s probably because back in the day we had scattered pieces of info and my perception of Apollo was really bad. But having read all the material that’s published so far, there’s this kind of new version that’s more amicable than before and I’m kind of ok with that sort of ending if that’s what the author wants. 

It’s still kind of weird to me to think this could end with everyone on Earth, but projecting a whole complicated movie in my head I can see things may end up so bad in the other world they’ll end up deciding to leave that country, and even that whole world.

By the end of the latest novel it’s not a secret at all that Shinou is the supreme bad guy of this story and things are going South when he threatens Wolfram to keep secrets from Yuuri about the boxes. Doubting this guy is not a great revelation for us, but imagine what kind of impact would have on the citizens of Shin Makoku, I believe some of them wouldn’t ever expect him to be a questionable person. We don’t even know his plan because we didn’t get to the “bad guy tells us his story” scene, but one of my theories about him is that he could be corrupted by the shoushus. I always wondered if that’s the possible cause of destruction of his immortal body? He preserved his soul but evidently he’s lacking the original body and I truly want to know if that thing is now zombie goo in a box inside the weird dimension he created and lives in xD I always wonder about two paths, he wants total destruction for some reason or he wants a new body to rule again over his people. Whatever he wants, collecting the 4 boxes is not good at all.

Here comes my other theory about how long you can extend this last arc? I always say maybe two novels is the minimum to give this a proper ending. You already introduced the bad guy, he’s threatening people who clearly will rebel and not play as he’s expecting, they fight, Yuuri does his thing as the MC and happy ending / scattered soul of Shinou. Or you could go the very long way, One Piece style! How? This is based on something Murata already explained to us, every box has a specific place to counter it and it’s the only place where you can place them to destroy them. Where are those places, that’s the nice thing about extending this kind of forever along some adventures discovering different places of the other world. They already traveled to the desert two or three times, very repetitive so far, but something T-sensei does amazingly is giving every arc some sort of social context and interesting details about the geography, weird animals, and stuff like that. So what if they keep “discovering” places while they search where to destroy the boxes. You have 4 of these things, and let’s say they fail searching the places a couple of times each or things get complicated… yeah, you have like 20 more novels xD I would totally read all of them and laugh a lot enjoying their travels!

But honestly, I would love to see an ending and if making it fast is the safe way to get one, I wouldn’t mind this ends in just two more volumes.

That was my crazy blablabla about things I imagine when I’m tired and lack sleep xD Thanks for reading!

[musette22]

Hi Minnie! First of all, thank you for being so sweet, reasonable and respectful, I can't even describe how much joy your blog gives me! You are a true pro in emotional support for Evanstan fandom, so I guess I kinda need some reassurance. [1]

The thing is, as you probably know, some Seb stans on Twitter take the whole Chris insta situation and turn it into smth embarassing, like making fun of Seb and Mackie ignoring Chris and calling the idea of the challenge stupid (even though Chris did donate, not just "asked fans for money", as they say). It's like they feel the need to attack the first before smb calls they fav out. [2]

I know there ARE good people in Seb fandom, it's just that the aggressive ones are so loud and spread their bs so fast, I end up seeing it on my TL. No matter how stupid it sounds, it keeps making me sad to see so much hate towards Chris and his fans not from some random locals but from Seb stans. It's like two halves of my heart are torn apart. Not even ship-wise, it just seems so hard to love them both and be present on twitter these days. [3]

And, since I'm whiney af today, one more twitter thing: the CW promo era was some kind of honeymoon for us, sure, but I've recently seen some opinions on how Chris was all lovey-dovey and Seb was stiff and bored and uncomfortable, how their interviews were unnatural and boring. I mean, in my part of fandom (non-English speaking country) there has always been a popular perception of boys' dynamic as these "over-excited puppy playing around a confused cat" vids, if you know what I mean. [4]

But it kinda seemed ok for me, and the way they acted a little awkward around each other etc. Well, you can tell I'm easily affected cause now it does feel more negative to me. Stuuupid, I know. Maybe it's my "let's feel sorry for Chris and his fans" phase, idk. Sorry for bringing it here, you just seem to reassure people so well. [5 and last, it was long lol]

Hello my lovely!! This was indeed long hahaha but that’s totally fine, I myself am also someone who also has trouble keeping things short to I feel you 😘 

This is a very long reply so I’m putting it under the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

Okay so first of all, let me say I was never a fan of Twitter, but everything I’ve heard lately has just lowered my opinion of it even further. I know there’s a lot of amazing stuff and brilliant folks on there as well, but it also seems to be where all the bitchy, hateful, entitled and inappropriate people congregate. So personally, I’m very happy with my little community on Tumblr when it comes to fandom, and for news and social media I prefer actual news outlets and instagram. The sad truth is that there are a lot of harmful and hateful opinions in the world, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I try to find ways to avoid a lot of it. Especially the stuff I can’t do anything about (you can try to reason with most haters until you’re blue in the face, and 90% of the time it’s not going to make an ounce of difference). It’s much easier to curate your own experiences on platforms like Tumblr and even Instagram than it is on Twitter, or so I’ve gathered. So I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of helpful advice for you there apart from ‘maybe try and stay away from Twitter if you can’ which you probably don’t really want either...

As for the whole Seb vs Chris issue: it’s clearly completely ridiculous. There is no ground whatsoever to believe they’re at odds. At worst, they’re now just casual work friends, but there is no reason to believe there’s any bad blood. It’s interesting to consider that initially, the argument seemed to be they had fallen out and both disliked each other (no idea where that came from but sure), then it was that Chris didn’t like Sebastian (because he allegedly shaded him when he joked that Scarjo was the only one of his friends who came to see Lobby Hero), and then Chris got Instagram and tagged and followed Seb, but because Seb hasn’t responded to the challenge yet, he now apparently hates Chris. For what reason, god only knows, because only last year at MCM London (where I was present myself) Sebastian gushed about Chris and his experiences with him while filming the Cap movies, and lets not forget it was him who initiated the hug at the Endgame premiere. Long story short: they don’t dislike each other. They’re completely fine, people just like to make up drama for whatever reason.   

As for the Sebastian stans who hate Chris and vice vera: to be honest, I wasn’t even really aware it was an issue until recently, because I was under the naive impression that it was kind of impossible to love one but hate the other. Both of them are such amiable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, talented guys, and everyone who actually knows them adores them, so why on earth anyone could hate either of them is beyond me. But even if you do, I genuinely don’t understand this need to pit them against each other? Why? I think a lot of it is down to people just liking drama, or being actual 12 year-olds who still see the world in a kind of high school dynamic-way. I’m not saying Chris and Sebastian have never done anything wrong, but in my opinion, none of it warrants outright hate or being cancelled over. It’s such an immature and unreasonable take. I’m just sorry for the people who can’t love both of them, because man, are they missing out! I understand that it’s painful for you to see all those opinions when you love both of them so much, but that’s why I try to just avoid them. I know they exist, but not seeing them makes dealing with it a whole lot easier, I promise! ❤️

With regard to the challenge itself: if the celebrities who are taking part in it are not donating themselves, then yeah, that would be problematic. However, we know that Chris donates to a ton of different charities, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s donated to this cause as well. Asking people to buy tickets to try and win this “prize” is not in itself an issue, if you ask me. People can think for themselves, can’t they? If they think it’s worth it, they think it’s worth it. They’re not being forced to part with their money, and moreover said money is being used to help people in need. Of course fake and problematic charities exist, but there are still good ones out there as well, so let’s assume for the moment this one is actually doing all of this from a genuine desire to help people and it’s not some money grabbing scheme.

Furthermore, as I’ve said so many times before, I really don’t believe Sebastian and Mackie are “ignoring” Chris. If they’re choosing not to do the challenge (they still might do it at some point) then I’m sure they have a good reason for that and it isn’t that they’re holding a grudge and are thinking “screw this charity and that Chris Evans, I’m going to ghost him to get my revenge!” I mean, do these people even realize how ridiculous that sounds 🙄 I also believe they would have let Chris know about their decision privately. They do have each other’s phone numbers, you know... 

And lastly, about the CW press tour... I don’t know what footage these people have been watching to come to such conclusions, or what’s wrong with their eyes and ears, but that makes NO sense to me. I’ll tell you what; it was mostly the footage from the CW press tour that got me convinced there was something going in between the two of them! Both Chris and Sebastian acted in a way that screamed “smitten kittens” to me, and if there was ever any “stiffness” from Sebastian’s side, then that was no doubt just his slightly more reserved personality compared to Chris and Mackie’s. Chris and Sebastian’s videos together give me LIFE, so for anyone to call them boring is actually kind of insulting lol. To me, almost every interaction Chris and Seb had during that press tour showed that they were either low-key (in a friendship way) or high-key (in a romantic way) crushing on each other, and they clearly admire each other very much. Any awkwardness I’ve ever seen between them for me seemed to stem from that crush (is anyone not at least a little awkward around their crush sometimes?) and not from any dislike from either side. That’s actually such a ridiculous idea to me that it doesn’t even make me worried, it just makes me laugh. Some people really don’t have eyes, it seems. 

Anyway, that was a reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyy long reply lmao, I’m sorry! I hope this helps a little though, because I do know how shitty it is to feel like you do about things that are supposed to make you happy!! Tuning out the haters and focusing on people who feel the same way you do in my experience is the best way to get to feeling good again 🥰 Big hug, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!

[youshouldbemanic]

MANIC TRACK CLAIM

It’s been a week since Manic and I wanted to get this up a few days ago so I’m just going to post the track claims I have received 

Reviews and reactions of Manic ✨

ASHLEY: ok so I really liked ashley especially as an opening track because it deals with a subject that's tricky for both halsey and fans; when fame becomes too tough or if halsey falls out of love with it, what will happen? i really liked the lyrics, especially the line about bursting into flames, because a lot of people can identify with that feeling. I loved the sound of the song, the production was so good!! it's one of my top favs from the album :) - @halseylockscreens

CLEMENTINE: "Clementine" exemplifies so much of what makes Manic interesting - the lyrics are sad and introspective, while the tone is playful and almost whimsical. It's inspires nostalgia and hope all at once. The way Halsey embraces the contradictions in herself - not needing anyone, but also needing everyone - is something that so many people, myself included, can relate to. It's sweet, sharp, and cathartic - especially the final "and then some" she belts in the background. It's in my top five for Manic! - @manic-nightmare

GRAVEYARD: I’ve said it before but Graveyard was the song that I heard and knew that this would be my favorite album. I think the use of guitars in the album is really pretty and really sells that it’s Ashley. Halsey singles are usually fast past and flashy but Graveyard feel so personal. Even the upbeat parts remind me of a heart beat after running for a while and you’re trying to catch your breath. The first time I heard it I thought that it was about G-eazy and abusive relationships but the more I listen to it and the music video makes me think it’s also about her relationship with herself. Ashely and Halsey are two different people Halsey represents all the bad and good of mental illness she’s loud,speaks her mind,gets angry, she feels everything so intensely and Ashley is in the background trying to keep up. The gasp is one of my favorite parts of the whole song, one thing she’s always done and has perfected on this album is whispers/talking in songs that makes it feel like she’s talking to you. I think I love Halsey so much because a lot of her songs feel like a friend telling you all their secrets and thoughts.- @leocaitelin 

YOU SHOULD BE SAD: You Should Be Sad is a very strong fourth track on Manic with a country influence to what is an angry pop song. Lyrically, the song has a nice flow to it that is complimented by the upbeat guitar. As Halsey stated in a tweet this is the “after he cheats” song; as she looks back at her relationship with an ex. Sure, this is not the poppunk song we all expected from the original snippet of the bridge that is “hey hey hey hey” and not “yeah yeah yeah yeah” but the anger soaks through her lyrics and into her words that it coats how you feel. By the end the song becomes sad, almost remorseful and finishes with a soft harmony. All in all, not a bad song.- @hunterthewriterworld

FOREVER...(IS A LONG TIME): Let me tell you right now that even though this isn’t in my top tracks of the album, I was destined to claim it as my track simply because of the rain sounds in the background... rain is my favourite thing and the second I heard it I knew it was a sign. I love how it starts sounding all cute and then at the ‘just right’ part it sounds like doubt is starting to creep into her mind and then the song takes a complete turn. I think Forever... is one of the most interesting songs on the album and I love how it goes into Dominic’s interlude! - @youshouldbemanic 

I HATE EVERYBODY: Alright “I Hate Everybody” is so fucking good musically and lyrically speaking. This one blew our minds because halsey is so fucking honest about how she let someone elses opinion about her have a bigger impact or effect on her than just being enough on her own. She´s so self reflective on her behavior in this song it´s almost as if she´s discussing it to get a clear pattern or picture about it for herself - she´s analyzing her previous behavior to state the point that SHE is important - not anyone else in this context. There seems to be a shift in her self perception. We immediately fell in love with this song because it is so relatable in our opinion. We immediately understood that feeling and could relate to it in some way or another. This song kinda feels like sitting down with halsey to talk about what is going on superficially speaking and then internally speaking because both those aspects often differ a lot from each other (e.g. how your friends, your partner etc. sees you or thinks you´re feeling vs. what is going on inside your head). We also loooove how the music is pretty tender and it seems as if the persona halsey is kind of telling a story very calmly and then when it comes to the chorus it seems as if ashley is coming through - this is when the music and the lyrics become more dynamic in a way. And we don´t know if it´s just our perception but we love how the music is giving the song a kind of sarcastic tone that adds to halsey´s criticism of herself. -@twinzmoon

WITHOUT ME: I've seen a lot of people say that they are tired of this song. That it came out too long ago. That it doesn't belong on Manic, etc. I get it, but I don't agree. I will say that I love the live performances of this song better than the album version. I think more emotion and more pain come out in her vocals when she sings this live. Most of the lyrics are talking about helping and supporting the other person and only a little about the hurt and anger of being betrayed. It's what goes along with that, what goes on in your head after being cheated on that gives this song a place on Manic. Having been cheated on myself in a previous relationship, I feel all of that extra, unstated in the lyrics turmoil everytime I hear this song. The why wasn't I enough? What did I do or not do that they needed someone else? Am I lacking something that they needed? Is it something about the way I look? The way I act? The way I talk? The self doubt, self loathing and distrust when you start a new relationship. I got lucky and I have a wonderful, amazing girlfriend now, but it's taken me a while to be able to trust in this relationship after being cheated on in the previous one. I both love and hate this song. I love it because maybe not in the exact way, but I've had this happen to me. I got through it and I'm in a better place now. I hate it because I feel all of the confusion, anger, doubt and self loathing everytime I hear it. Either way, it's a powerful, emotional song. - @anf-stuff 

KILLING BOYS: I had to listen to this song a few times through before I was truly able to appreciate it, mostly because it wasn't really what I was expecting. With the title "killing boys," and the obvious allusion to the movie Jennifer's Body, I guess I was expecting something angrier, more violent and aggressive, maybe more "Nightmare"-esque. And there's definitely a lot of anger in there, but it's not so loud and hostile and combative; it's all tempered by this kind of reflective, retrospective, "over it" attitude that you see throughout the album. She describes these bitter and vengeful actions like kicking in doors and keying cars and breaking windows in the verses, but they're all followed by a lot of "not anymores" and "never agains" in the chorus. And even the music itself gives the same effect; the whole song has that kickass percussion running under it, but the melodies aren't very harsh, and her voice is soft and almost somber. I love this song because I feel like this is the song on the album that fully embodies, both lyrically and musically, what Ashley said about setting out to write "dark and angry" music and realizing she simply wasn't angry anymore. -@gaygirlslove1d

SUGA’S INTERLUDE: I have to admit that I kinda put this song aside for a little while. I only listened to this song once when it was first released. It was released the same day as Finally // Beautiful Stranger and I was a little obsessed with that song.  Obsessed enough to change the words a little so I could sing it to my girlfriend. But enough about that, on to my review. After listening to Suga's Interlude more, I like the song a lot. It's not one of my top favorites from Manic, but it's really good. Halsey's voice is interesting on her part. Sweet with a hint of sadness. Suga has a very nice flow in this song. I had to look up the English translation for his part. I have seen several interpretations about the meaning of the song, but to me it's finding out that just because you reach your goal or are living out your dream, it doesn't mean it'll bring you happiness. The song fits really well on Manic in my opinion. So maybe not the best song that Manic has to offer, but still a very good song.- @anf-stuff

MORE: This is a deeply personal song. I had mentioned this yesterday, I feel personally attacked for having picked this song. As a mother of two boys, I feel like I can say that. “Wooden floors, little feet.” “Little screen, photograph.” “When you decide it’s your time to arrive, I’ve loved you for all of my life.” It’s a known fact that Ashley has endometriosis. It makes it hard to get pregnant. It’s also been mentioned that she suffered  miscarriages—not only that, she was performing on stage while going through at least one of them. Ashley has always been open about reproductive health and her story with it. It hits hard at special place—whether you want to be a mother or not. The lullaby, like off a mobile over a crib. The end that sounds like a sonogram, before you were to hear a baby’s heartbeat. How the audio is muffled as if you were listening from inside the womb. I was crying by the end of it, let me tell you. It is one of my favorite tracks, by far. The soft ones always are. It is a song of hope and heartache. Anger and longing. It is filled with truth that is Ashley’s, but so many can relate to. - @stopitchris

STILL LEARNING: I loved it, it’s not one of my favourites but it was fun and has a really good message!!!!And it’s also something I’m still working on myself; learning to love myself. It’s a hard journey but its achievable. The beat and lyrics were moving and deep and overall enjoyable!!!! -@pinklemongay

929: First impressions- cool strumming, OH NO HOSPITAL BEEP I AM GONNA CRY, OK GOOD ITS HER TALKING HER KITGLE LAUGH I LOVF JER SO MHCJ FUCKKKK SHES SO CUTE 🥺🥺, can’t remember half the time i’ve been alive, don’t meet ur heroes 🥺, THE FEATURE FUCKING LINE!!!! okgbn!!!!!, I wANT TO THORW UO, I HACE NEVER CRIED HARDER, AHHH, I CANT EVEN PROCESS IT SORRY, no lyrics to say bc i cant breathe properly, I KNOW DONT KEEP THEM TO YOURSELF 🥺🥺🥺🥺, sorry i need to listen to this again, MY MORAL COMPASS IS ON A VACATION, big coming of age movie vibes, this will be my Special Song i can feel it 🥺, i have felt every emotion. -@wreckageofmylife

WIPE YOUR TEARS: Wipe your tears is a very airy song that is almost reminiscent of the room 93 era. It has a twinkly aspect and deals with much darker themes. Yet it is also reminiscent of nightmare in the sense that it sounds more like a poem put to music. This song is also one of what the fans would call a “bi-anthem” as Halsey is talking about a girl which is very nice to hear. Personally I’m glad that this is only a bonus track as it is really short and does not fit the theme of the album. Yet it is still a bop and the better of the two bonus tracks. -@hunterthewriterworld

[syndullastars]

tagged by @brontes thank you !! ♡

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? like a 5.5 maybe

describe yourself in a hashtag? #AHHHHHHHH

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? does anyone actually like to do love scenes cause it seems like it’d be pretty uncomfortable to me

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? rolling with the punches

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? probably that i’m actually a mess hahaha

what’s your wake up ritual? bathroom, brush teeth, wash face, contacts, breakfast and then get dressed

what’s your go to bed ritual? bathroom, brush teeth, contacts out, read until i’m ready to sleep

what’s your favorite time of day? depends on the season, but since we’re coming up on summer i’ll go with that twilight time of the evening between like 7 and 9 when the sun is setting and you can hear all the crickets and other insects singing and everything seems blanketed in this otherworldly glow

your go to for having a good laugh? old messages/videos/photos, cracky memes and shitposts

dream country to visit? new zealand

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? my parents surprised us with a trip to disney once! my sister and i literally cried lmao

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers

vintage or new? depends, but usually new

who do you want to write your obituary? whoever wants to i guess

style icon? padme amidala (yes a fictional character)

what are three things you cannot live without? family, friends, and good stories

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? i use red pepper a lot, but not in everything. so probably too much salt

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my best friend, my sister, my mom

what’s your biggest fear in life? failing / not living up to my family’s expectations of me

window or aisle seat? window, but only if i know the people next to me. i get up way too many times to bother them if i don’t lol

what’s your current tv obsession? the clone wars :(

favorite app? apple music or messages, bc those are the ones i use most

secret talent? all my talents have long been put on display and used to give me stress lol

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? moving across the country for school probably

how would you define yourself in three words? perceptive, self-aware, empathetic

favorite piece of clothing you own? maybe my fila disruptors? basic i know but they're very stompy

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? a nice pair of jeans i think

a superpower you would want? telepathy

what’s inspiring you in life right now? art and the people who make it

best piece of advice you’ve received? forgive and let go (but don’t forget)

best advice you’d give your teenage self? stop worrying so much about being well-behaved and fight back. tell people what you think even if they don’t want to hear it

a book everyone should read? everyone has different values and interests so i don’t think i can recommend one book that everyone should read

what would you like to be remembered for? being a good friend

how do you define beauty? beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so it’s whatever i think is beautiful, and also whatever anyone else thinks is beautiful

what do you love most about your body? if we’re talking about features then my eyes, but overall i’ve worked hard to get strong and i love how effortless everything feels now

best way to take a rest/decompress? lounging around and watching something, maybe with friends depending on my mood

favorite place to view art? i guess it depends on what type of art

if your life was a song, what would the title be? keep on

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? piano or saxophone

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? it would be small, just under my hairline on the back of my neck. but i would never get a tattoo anyway

dolphins or koalas? dolphins !!

what’s your spirit animal? i don’t think so

best gift you’ve ever received? probably books that i asked for

best gift you’ve given? i design a themed calendar for my best friend every year and she always really loves that, but also i did something very elaborate for my sister last christmas and she was laughing about it for weeks. the pieces are still arranged in a shrine in her room lol

what’s your favorite board game? clue, or trivial pursuit but only if it has a fun theme

what’s your favorite color? all of them!

least favorite color? there are no bad colors

diamond or pearls? pearls

drugstore makeup or designer? you could hand me one of each and i wouldn’t even know the difference

pilates or yoga? i’ve never done either so idk

coffee or tea? coffee but i like both

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? discombobulate, canoodle, phlegm

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? dark for sure

stairs or elevators? stairs, i hate elevators

summer or winter? both

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? just the thought of that makes me tired of every single food in existence lol

a dessert you don’t like? anything fancy

a skill you’re working on mastering? life drawing and general storyboarding stuff, for school and career purposes

best thing to happen to you today? the clone wars finale :((((

worst thing to happen to you today? also the clone wars finale :((((

best compliment you’ve ever received? a few of my friends have told me that i always know exactly what to say, and that makes me happy bc i try very hard to understand them and be what they need so i’m glad it pays off

favorite smell? pine trees and snow on the air, but also sunscreen and the sea

hugs or kisses? hugs

if you made a documentary, what would it be about? honestly it would be about star wars, but specifically george lucas and his vision and how the unique position the franchise is in, where multiple authors and creators are contributing to it at any given time + the disney rebranding + the fact that star wars fans have always seemed to adamantly want to discard lucas’ original intent has led to the way fan circles view star wars now and how wildly different those views can be from what lucas intended

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? the clone wars finale lol

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? savory

girl crush? natalie portman

how do you know you’re in love? i’ve only been in love once and it was a very fledgling thing but it was like, they’re always on your mind, seeing them is simultaneously like there’s no ground under your feet and also like there’s no oxygen in the room, and being with them makes you insane just the same as not being with them makes you insane

a song you can listen to on repeat? right now, youth by glass animals, but it always changes

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? definitely no one! my life is like a well organized library (even if maybe some books are missing or damaged lol) and i would hate to be dropped into an unsorted pile of books and have to organize all over again

what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? well real life is kind of on hold but my cousins and i just merged our quarantine circles which is a lot of fun so there’s that lol

this is long so i’ll just tag a few: @yensofrivia @daenerystargaryes @elizabethswcnn @kristnbell ( feel free to ignore ofc ♡ )

[cath-with-a-c]

This is the comment I woke up to on Friday morning. The amount of bigotry hiding behind the almost polite and seemingly thoughtful wording is astonishing. 

I’ve responded to it already, informing the individual behind it that I won’t be discussing the points of the comment with them, as they’ve resorted to personally attacking me, which is...dumb. I mean, attack my work all you like, it either helps me grow as an author by learning from my mistakes or as a person by growing a spine and defending my work. But coming after someone who has no connection to this and can’t defend themselves because they are no longer with us? Low and disgusting. (Also wow, they’ve taken the time to find the only truly personal post I have on tumblr, and it’s more than a month old, what a commitment to come off as pathetic, really)

Anyway, while talking to that particular individual is out of question, I still kinda wanna address the certain things in the comment because wow, my first queerphobic comment and an excuse to talk more about “Nothing and Everything”, my boys and myself? How can I pass that?

(this is like... a long-ass one... prepare yourselves)

(I’m gonna refer to the commentator as “Fox” and, probably, “them” because well, I don’t know what their preferred pronounce are)

NB! I’m using the term “queer” as an umbrella term to mean everyone who isn’t strictly straight and/or cis-gender.

Let’s start from the top

1.

The best part about slashfic writers is that when they write about child abuse, child sex abuse, and drug and alcohol abuse while including gay characters, is that they’re really writing about the lives of gay men without realizing it. To you, gay men being abused and that being the arbiter of their homosexual identity is too homophobic to fathom. But you still confirm it in subtle ways, and that always brings a smile to my face. 

Now, English isn’t my first language, so I might be missing something, but If Fox meant being the arbiter of as in defining, being the reason for, than no, it’s not homophobic. It’s just dumb. One, there isn’t a single relevant scientifically accurate study on the abuse causing someone to “turn gay”. Two - there might be a correlation (and it’s not necessary there, I’m just guessing), but the cause and effect will be the other way around, queer kids get abused more because they are queer, not become queer as the result of the abuse. And, most importantly, three - in terms of sexual orientation, you can’t turn someone queer, as well as you can’t turn someone straight. It’s something you are born with and discover as you go along. 

And also the other two queer characters, Rob and Penny, weren’t abused by their parents and/or other family members, but we will touch on that later. 

2.

“The Brotherhood had no problem with homosexuality” - Of course not, and neither do the Templars. It’s the Current Year. You can marry/have sex with whomever you want, whatever you want, whenever you want.

Ignoring the fact that this was taken out of context, and the whole phrase has a slightly different meaning, there are two things that are factually wrong with this statement. First - even in the Current Year, there is a ton of places where being openly queer is dangerous, from the countries that have “anti-gay” laws (ranging from “you can be gay, but stay quiet or go to jail” to “die a horrible death for being gay”), to certain, let’s say, traditionally oriented places in the US. Second - this is not Current Year. The bulk of the story takes place between 1998 and 2003, this phrase is taken from the chapter taking place in 2003, 16 years prior, things were, let’s say, slightly different.

Also, I don’t understand why Fox tried to make this sound sarcastic, we are talking about two societies, with one canonically being for freedom and choice and the other one relying on public favor to propel their agenda, of course, none of them will have qualms with the GRSM community, 

3.

“Honorary gay parents of a gay kid” - Well no wonder the kid is gay. Look at the environment xe/xim/xer grew up in.

I like how Fox uses the non-binary pronounces referring to Penny, when the only thing that has been said about her/them is “I’m into girls.” Also out of 16 kids on the Farm, only 3 are confirmed to be queer. They’ve all grown up in the same environment, so that statement is... meaningless. And in case Fox was referring to Rob and Des turning Penny “gay” well, they’ve also been close with Sam and he’s - what a shock - straight! So again - meaningless.

I’m gonna skip Fox shitting on my friend’s art, again - such remarks are low, pathetic and not worth discussing, let’s get to the juicy stuff. 

4.

It’s amusing, no, to have a pansexual – an individual who is attracted to ‘all genders’ - writing about gay men so much? How many genders are there? Thousands? 51? All on the spectrum? Regardless, tumblrinas are as big on their sexual identities as they are on their activism. In this case, we have a person – presumably female – getting wet over two dudes banging. I’m simply wondering if they packed enough lube and had their enemas. Maybe it was hidden in their stash?

Well, as a matter of fact - they didn’t have lube in their stashes because the only way to get it was to essentially ask one of the adults going to the city to get it for them, can you imagine a 16yo asking something like that? Death from mortification would be the most likely outcome.

Seriously though, I write what I like about whom I like. The only thing it has to do with me being pansexual is that I have more confidence in writing non-straight characters and relationships because I know it’s fine, and my queerphobic background can’t silence me anymore. Also - Desmond isn’t gay, he is bisexual. Rob is gay, true. 

The amount of genders is still up for debate, in my personal opinion it’s all on the spectrum, and the only reason gender issues don’t come out in fiction as much as sexual orientations do is that gender in a lot of cases is a more personal thing than orientation, that’ll inevitably reflect on the inter-character dynamics. A lot of genderqueer people are fine with using male or female pronounces, which to an outsider would put them in respective categories. There are, of course, androgynous people, trans people, non-binary people and others for whom gender and the perception of their gender are important in day to day life - and there are more and more stories featuring them.

Also, on the note of pansexuality - it’s not “attraction to all genders,” it’s having an attraction to the person regardless of their sex or gender, those labels play an insignificant part in me deciding to pursue a relationship. (Also also there might be like a ton of things to discuss in regards to how sexuality relates to gender identities, but not here, not now)

And yes, I’m afab, so yeah, “female” and I do “get wet over the two dudes banging”. Fox got me. Now what? Shame Fox seemingly can��t conceptualize that I “get wet” because I wrote those boys in a story that contains a hard emotional journey full of heartbreak, and I do revel in the short happy moments they’ve got together. The sexual/sensual part is hot because it’s those particular two guys, not just random two guys. 

Oh, and the last thing here - I don’t know if it’s news for Fox, but not all people in a homosexual relationship engage in anal sex. Especially teens in their first relationship. Just saying.

Let’s skip another personal attack part, here we go, sorry that the phrase is broken up

5.

she educated a pansexual SJW into confirming every negative and dirty secret in the gay community: a brutal, abusive father, societal ‘homophobia’, drug and alcohol abuse, and feeling inadequate compared to heterosexual people.

Tbh, this is the part of the comment that had me confused for a moment, as I mistook Fox for one of the “hardcore gay” people, that think that with letters added to LGBT and by putting everything on the spectrum we somehow affect negatively the “real” gay community. The next paragraph cleared this shit for me tho.

Right off the bat - SJW isn’t a dirty word, Fox shouldn’t try to sell it as one. And I won’t label myself as a SJW, because as of now, I lack the commitment to the cause. 

For the next part, I’d really, really like to quote a line from one of my fav vines “Bitch, where?” but for the sake of politeness, I’ll go with “Citation needed,” because from all of the things mentioned, the only one that is really prominent in the text is the “brutal, abusive father”. Societal homophobia isn’t exactly in the text (pay attention, teen Rob is cautious about adults being homophobic, it’s a valid fear a lot of queer teens have prior to coming out, but the general atmosphere isn’t homophobic. If I wanted it to be, adding a scene of public shame/shunning for someone caught in the act wouldn’t be hard), no drug and\or alcohol abuse (1 scene of teens trying drinks for the first time doesn’t count - surprise, teenagers try drinking), and feeling inadequate is mentioned once as a fear of a nine-year-old Penny, who has no frame of reference other than heterosexual behavior of the others, and is corrected almost immediately by Rob.

6.

Was this about Assassin’s Creed? No, not really. Despite you being a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, you don’t really respect these characters. Miles is a douchebag, it’s true, but he’s respected even by Otso Berg. That should tell you something. 

(I’d like to see an example of Fox-approved, really-about-Assassin’s-Creed fanfiction, for a future reference, but alas, they’ve commented from as guest)

Interesting how me not liking or respecting Bill, canonically abusive douchebag known for alienating people because of how cold and manipulative he is, translates into me automatically not respecting every other character in the series. 

Also, I don’t see how Otso Berg respecting William as an opponent should sway my judgment. I’ve mentioned here on my blog that I like Garnier de Naplouse as a villain - how self-assured he is, and how much quiet intelligence he has. Do I like him in general as a person? No. Do I respect him? No. He tortured people. I relished in seeing Altair murder him. 

With Bill, him being a douchebag and abuser is a deciding fact for me, I do not respect abusers, no matter how great they may be. But tbh, on the leadership front, I can’t quite decide if Bill is a fine leader given the circumstances, or if the number of instances of him being canonically shitty as a leader is big enough to call for his removal. 

7.

You crafted him into a predictable homophobic dad, albeit he isn’t Christian. I was waiting for the Bible to be thrown at Desmond.

Again - citation needed. One instance in the text of Bill being homophobic. Not abusive, not overly-demanding, but homophobic. 

(Spoiler alert - there isn’t one.)

As for the Christian associations - well, it’s in the tags. Literally. In this story, the Brotherhood is a cult, like the JWs, or the LDS church, but with Creed instead of a holy book. And I guess I succeeded in conveying the feeling.

8.

In another Tumblr post, you wrote about how William is very abusive to Desmond, and how that is inexcusable. You bring up Nikolai and putting his child out in the cold as punishment, and earlier, cited Philosophy Tube in regards to solitary confinement (which really shows a lot). How do you explore this concept?

I wonder what me citing Philosophy Tube shows, except for maybe that I find Olly to be a very pleasant narrator and that the themes he touches on are rather interesting (Olly is precious, protect Olly).

I think I was rather unsubtle with showing what exactly abuse, inflicted by Bill, did to Desmond. And not, not “turn him gay”, about that in a moment. I don’t delve like deep into what was happening in Desmond’s head because this story is from Rob’s perspective. Not Desmond’s.

This story isn’t about the relationship between Bill and Desmond. It’s about Desmond not living in a vacuum all those years on the Farm.

Write William being SO abusive he turns his son gay. You make him so homophobic Desmond reacts by engaging in self-destructive behaviour and, in turn, becoming your average gay man. Your OC, Richard, Robert is merely the bridge.

“Bitch where?!“ (c) 

1. Desmond isn’t gay. He is bi (because I’m keeping it as close to the canon as I can and I love Elijah to death). It’s in the tags, and it’s in the tags rather than stated because Desmond’s sexual orientation isn’t the point of this story, 2. Bill isn’t homophobic, at least not openly. There’s a different issue within the Brotherhood, the fact that they expect everyone born into the Brotherhood to have kids of their own. This is the source of Rob’s unease and perceiving adults as not reacting positively him or any other kid in a queer relationship.  3. If I wanted Bill to come off as homophobic, I’d portray him like that. Using slurs, for example.  4. Bill abuses Desmond not because he thinks his son is gay - he thinks his son is weak. In general. Not related to orientation. Like in the fucking canon. I’m merely turning the abuse factor up to eleven. 5. No one abused Rob, his father is shown in the text to be one of the best parents on the Farm - and Rob is gay. No one abused Penny, her family is mentioned briefly, but I specifically did it in a way that shows that they are nice - and she is a lesbian. Another boy, Colin, got abused by his strict mother - and he is straight. Desmond got abused by his father - and he is bi. There is no correlation between abuse and being queer.  6. Desmond's self-destructive behavior came from him being abused on a daily basis for most of his life and having no way out. Again, if it was linked to his orientation Rob would do that stuff too. He doesn’t.

9.

You make these characters gay because, as a ‘queer pansexual person’ you can. But you don’t really make them human. In fact, every single negative stereotype you want to protect yourselves from our oh-so-bigoted society are confirming them, while simultaneously denying that they exist.

In short, everything and everyone acted the way I expected to, and was written the way I expected a queer pansexual to write them: meaningless, with only the sexual identity taking place. Funny how that’s the only identity politics that’s allowed. Everything else is oh so bigoted.

I’m not denying the existence of the stereotype, I’m just not acknowledging it as valid, because it’s not. It’s like blaming violence on video games - you’d be hard-pressed to find a youngster who doesn’t play a semi-violent game of some kind, with blood and murder, but every time someone brings up that another shooter was playing those games, they forget to mention how many youngsters play and don’t commit murder as a result.

The same way Fox keeps bringing up the “abuse turned Desmond gay” without acknowledging that there’s a ton of straight teens that get abused worse than Desmond in this story, or the two queer kids right in the text who weren’t abused.

It’s also funny that Fox is adamantly holding to the “sexual identity” thing, despite the fact that it came up only in 5th chapter (with 4 chapters before that having nothing to do with sexual orientation) and it’s not even an identity/orientation thing. It’s the “relationship between Rob and Desmond” thing and “Desmond is clinging to as much happiness as he can because he has none” thing. The only time orientation comes up in term of identity it’s when Rob talks to Penny and thinks of himself as a closeted gay man, but it immediately switches back into the “relationship between two people” again. 

10.

You call yourself an AC fan? 

Yes. Yes, I do. Ain’t nothing some bigot on the internet can do about it ;)

(If you read this through to the end, I applaud you, thank you for your time <3)

[artificialqueens]

Chronicles of the Impossible; or, five small realisations - Part 2, Brooke (Crooke) - fandomfeministe

A/N: Thanks again to Saiph for being such a good second pair of eyes, and helping me figure out what would make sense to go where. I have ideas for a couple more chapters but I am completely open to any prompts or suggestions for what people might like to see in future :)

Chronicles of the Impossible; or, five small realisations (Part 2 - Brooke)

Realisation the first - Cracker, Henry and Apollo

The afternoon after that early morning phone call between Brooke and his mom was the first time Cracker had the opportunity to hang out with the beings he considered his children - his cats. Brooke himself had gone for a shower, and his lover had taken the time to unpack; given that he was going to spend a few days here, and he was particular about his stuff, Cracker was keen to make sure he didn’t make more work for himself on getting back to New York by letting everything get trashed.

His problem, however, was that his lover’s babies had had other ideas. He’d laid out his clothes, ready to refold and place them back into the drawers Brooke had arranged for him, and had decided to go grab a drink. Not more than thirty seconds had he been out of the room, grabbing a soda, when he returned to find that his favourite black turtleneck had won itself a pair of new fans - Henry and Apollo, curled up on its soft surface. “I can’t believe you walked right past everything else to make yourselves comfortable on that!” he gasped, wondering how on earth he was going to negotiate getting his turtleneck back in a reasonable state without truly pissing off the human who loved these adorable, thieving little assholes.

When Brooke returned from the shower, it was his turn to watch his lover from the doorway into the living room. With a towel wrapped around his waist and a fond smile on his face, his gaze was fixed towards the smaller man on the couch. There was no denying it… Cracker spoke to the cats like they were tiny, furry, incredibly exasperating humans.

“Look, you guys, I know this sweater is comfortable. I like it too, that’s why I bought it,” he was saying, directly addressing the cats. Apollo was stretched out on the couch beside him, nonplussed and with his tail gently swishing, and Henry sat on the floor directly in front of him, sitting up straight with his head tilted, wondering why on earth the new human seemed to be waving around the new comfy thing he and his brother had discovered. It was an air of polite indifference, if such an expression could be read on a cat (and Brooke did).

“But really, I don’t live with cats, so I’m not used to getting hair off my clothes. I hope we can get along, here, because your human happens to be someone whose good side I want to stay on. Understood?” In response, he got a look of apathy from Apollo and an almost pitying mew from Henry, who approached the older man’s feet and stretched up his paws, standing on his hind legs, seeking pets. Cracker sighed and gave them to him, scritching the more outgoing feline behind the ears. “You three are going to be the end of me, you know that?” he lamented, almost jumping as he heard Brooke’s heavier steps pad over the wooden flooring towards them. “The fuck, Brooke? How did you sneak up on me?”

“Couldn’t help it. You scolding my cats over a turtleneck was just too cute,” he bantered back, kneeling down to kiss the New York queen. While Cracker almost blushed into the kiss, Brooke couldn’t help but feel his heart melt.

Realisation the second - Cracker’s quick wit (on stage)

While her gigs in New York had the celebratory tone of being on home turf, with the regular crowd at her usual bars and clubs just excited to see her, Cracker had mentioned to Brooke that making appearances elsewhere in the country was always slightly more intimidating. Fun, yes, but give the wrong sort of performance on the wrong sort of night, and your reputation in the region could certainly take a hit.

There were places where being known as a New York queen could be especially difficult no matter what sort of performer you were. Since Season 6, every single season of Drag Race had had a New York girl in the final, and the city’s queens had even taken three in a row - her own drag mother being one of those. There were plenty of queens - and even fans - who would be quite happy to see the NYC girls taken down a peg or two.

So it was that Cracker was on stage, midway through her set, and Brooke was completely impressed with how his lover was working the crowd. Every so often she’d take a little walk along the stage, directing a different part of her story to a different group of people, giving them that little moment of closeness with the queen they’d been excited to see. It was beautifully done, really, Brooke thought. It gave different parts of the audience their moment of feeling like they had her attention, and at the same time, made her look like she was at home here as she was back in NYC, commanding the stage like she owned it. It reminded her of Cracker in London, actually, around the time they first became… well, whatever they’d become.

Brooke was laughing, almost uncontrollably so, at the story she was telling about the time “her friend” was driving away from an ex’s house with a bag full of sex toys. He’d heard it before, at least three times, and knew the punchline off by heart. There was something about the way Cracker told it though - tweaking it slightly for each audience she told it to - that made sure it was still hilarious every time. And the way she stood there, in the bright turquoise leotard, big Barbie hair and her hand on her hip like she was totally done with everything? He found it hysterical.

Only now, he could see from the slight change in her facial expression that she actually WAS done with everything, and his eyes followed her gaze out into the crowd. Some guy, sitting there with an incredibly embarrassed looking girlfriend, had wobbled to his feet, cupped his hand around his mouth and was attempting to yell, interrupting Cracker’s set. Cracker, Brooke and the girlfriend were not the only people who were starting to get pissed off, but the performer in Brooke noticed Cracker’s response - a steady set to the hips, holding firm, and a smooth tone to her voice that was as cold as steel.

“Sorry, dude, I don’t understand a word you’re saying. I don’t have a filter for drunk idiots.”

The audience tittered, one or two clapping in support.

Brooke didn’t quite hear the next thing the guy yelled, but knew it must have been a low blow about appearance when Cracker quirked her brow and raised her hand higher on her hip, pushing them back and tits out as she spoke to the rest of the audience - who, it could be noticed, was a good three fifths female and female presenting. “And yet,” Cracker began, “even your own damn girlfriend is looking at me more than you right now. And the lesbians would definitely rather have me than a guy who looks like he usually spends a weekend crying over his shitty fantasy football picks, letting Cheeto crumbs fall into his pants.” The heckler visibly shrank back, almost purple in embarrassment as the people around him literally pointed and laughed, some even pulling out their phones to record the interaction. The whole thing would probably be on YouTube before the morning. “That’s right, dude. Go sit in the corner and finish evolving.” A huge roar went up from the crowd, and Cracker took a step or two back before continuing her set, allowing herself a moment to soak up the acclaim.

Brooke almost shook his head in admiration, a smile spreading across his face. Somehow, this quick-thinking, pocket-sized powerhouse was interested in him?

He would definitely have to show his appreciation later.

Realisation the third - Cracker’s quick wit (off-stage)

It was May, quite late on, and the four of them were gathered for brunch in LA right before the insanity of the Drag Race end-season began. Brooke was a strange mix of tense and relaxed, knowing just how much was coming and the potential fall-out of both. There was the soon-to-air reunion, of course, and mere days ago they’d filmed the episode in which the fans would finally find out about just how over the whole Branjie thing was. It was certainly not something he was looking forward to, more for the resurrection of their own hurt and pain over the whole relationship than for a real fear about what people might say. He was cold, the Ice Queen… he could handle that. Right?

The one thing - or person, he should say - who was giving him doubts about his ability to breeze through this was sitting opposite him at the table, sharing raucous laughter with Monet about something his sister had said. Nina, ever the mom friend, had turned to look at him, bringing Brooke back into the conversation with a little wave to catch his attention. He was soon brought out of his thoughts, and his focus was brought back to a shorter, dark-haired man who managed to command the group’s attention despite being easily the most delicate and diminutive looking queen there. The Canadian was starting to feel things for him that he hadn’t felt since he’d broken up with Vanjie months ago - and what scared him was how much this didn’t scare him. Not this time. But the thought of what the next few weeks would stir up, and how he would have to keep his feelings squashed again… it hurt. It made him feel like he wanted to lash out and tell the world anyway, public perception be damned.

Now that, that was new.

Nina had asked Cracker and Monet a question about how things had been the year before, when the girls had been thrown straight into their own tour after the drama that had been stirred up at their own reunion. When the Aquaria vs Cracker storyline hadn’t produced quite what the show wanted, the reunion episode had had quite a bitter moment when Asia’s words in the Evil Twin challenge were brought up, causing the girls to relive some memories they’d already worked past or, in some cases, buried. It gave Brooke some hope, seeing the friends here now, that whatever trouble would be stirred for the Season 11 queens, they too would be able to work it out.

It had worked out so well, in fact, that Cracker was now recounting a story about how she, Monet, Asia, Kameron, Dusty, Blair, Vixen and Yuhua had been in bunks on the same bus, and the small space the eight of them were crammed into had resulted in Asia being fed up at the thought of climbing up and down every time. So fed up, in fact, that she’d ended up gathering a bunch of stuff at the end of the bunk, “like something out of Hoarders, bitch!” and accidentally outed some of her personal preferences in a very late night phone call home to her man. 

The imitations that followed, somehow spot-on and satirical at the same damn time, had Brooke in stitches to the point of almost hurting himself. There was something about Cracker’s quick wit - its hyper intelligence, pin-point accuracy and ability to jab whoever was necessary (including himself) that Brooke really admired in his lover. There was enough to draw him there, holding him to the older queen like a pair of magnets, even without all of this. But the laughter and sheer glee of the late morning in the LA sunshine, shared platters slowly being demolished as the levels in the wine bottles got lower and lower, that held an allure all of its own. His eyes were fixed in one direction in particular, and he didn’t feel like hiding it anymore.

Realisation the fourth - activism and dedication

A month later, and around three after the two queens had first become a thing, Brooke and Cracker were in another small café, this time in NYC, spending the day together before the rest of Pride month meant that things became more busy for the pair of them. Brooke, as runner up in the most recent season of Drag Race, was a man in high demand. Cracker, though the news wasn’t public yet, was about to head off to film All Stars 5. The fact that a busy, working queen was going to be MIA during the busiest month of the year would not go unnoticed, and would essentially confirm many fans’ predictions.

Their lives, in short, were about to go crazy. Crazier than things usually were once you became a Ru Girl, at any rate.

It also meant, of course, that they were going to see nothing of each other for weeks, hence this lunch date.

Cracker, however, had spent a whole quarter hour of their meeting on the phone, apologising profusely for the apparent need to accept the call. As soon as he’d answered, he began almost immediately talking in another language, one that Brooke didn’t recognise. He knew it wasn’t French, obviously, and recognised enough of the odd Hebrew word he’d heard in his lover’s company that it wasn’t that, either. He must have looked confused, though, because when the person on the other end of the call put him on hold - seemingly as they looked for information - Cracker met his eyes. “Wolof,” he said succinctly. “I’m talking to people I used to work with in Senegal.”

Of course, Brooke thought, his own eyes closing as Cracker began speaking again. Now things started to fall into place. He knew that, like his mom, Cracker had grown into an adult working in an artistic field. One of his last jobs before going into drag full time had been working in various New York galleries, specialising in dealings of West African pieces, which had meant he needed to travel a lot. Of course, being openly gay in many parts of the continent was still a huge risk, and ever since, Cracker had links with groups in various places campaigning for human rights victories. Now, as it was Pride in the US, it made sense for him to be in touch. 

It was something oddly beautiful to witness, too. Brooke didn’t have to speak a word of Wolof to know that the subject of the conversation was something of great excitement to Cracker and his friend, the American waving his free hand wildly in the air as his eyes had an undeniable sparkle to them. Brooke couldn’t bear to interrupt, or even signal his interest to him lest he be a distraction, and so he decided to watch him instead. His own smile became just visible over the top of his coffee cup.

Along with so many things he’d reflected on of late, this was one more thing that Brooke was growing to love - no, not that word, he told himself, not allowing even the tiniest bit of the thought to sneak through - about the New Yorker sitting in front of him. He was someone so spirited, so passionate, so dedicated to the causes he believed in, that it was impossible for Brooke to believe he didn’t mean every single word and action of his activism.

It made his own heart swell just thinking about it.

When his lover had hung up on the call, Brooke reached out and took his hand, squeezing it gently and with admiration written all over his face. “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered, quickly leaning over the table to give the smaller man a kiss.

The time it took for them to leave cash on the table and head back to Cracker’s place took longer than the phone call, but as they later lay curled up in each other’s arms, both men considered it worth it.

Realisation the fifth - three little words

It had been weeks, but felt more like months, since Brooke and Cracker had had their lunch date in NYC. A few days later, Brooke’s lover had flown to LA to film All Stars 5, and the cycle of their being caught in the maelstrom of Drag Race began again. It was different being the one on the outside, knowing that your loved one was going through the intense competition process and you had no way of reaching them. On more than one lonely night, Brooke found himself going through old texts, pictures and videos they’d taken together in the last few months - sometimes using them to help reach his own pleasure, other times scrolling through the sweeter ones and sleeping curled up in a ball, his phone still in hand. 

What he hadn’t yet been willing to acknowledge to himself was just how much the other man meant to him, but that denial couldn’t last forever. It all came to a head when, on a night out with Nina, he turned down the advances of no fewer than three separate guys who’d sidled up to him at the bar, batting their eyes and slinking away disappointed within minutes. There was a different vibe to Brooke now, and it wasn’t hard to see it. When a fourth approached, and Brooke simply got up and walked away, Nina had to say something - linking an arm through his, and walking him swiftly to one of the booths, his eyes flicking left and right before speaking.

“Something’s different. Spill.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Nina.”

“Bullshit!” he exclaimed, a little too loudly as some nearby clubgoers turned their heads in surprise. Sheepishly, Nina lowered his head to continue. “You’ve had men crawling all over you, all night. You haven’t even looked at any of them, let alone taken your pick of the hottest and had someone to kick out of bed in the morning. Like I said, something’s different.”

Brooke winced. Nina’s assessment of his love life, although brutal, was painfully accurate. His best friend of nearly a decade, there wasn’t much he could hide from him, and he looked up resignedly with the intent of telling him everything. This, to Nina’s surprise, he did. He started with stories, the little moments he’d had with his American lover - the time they’d spent together on tour, the times they’d had surprising each other at gigs, even the way Cracker’s face looked while he was telling jokes. There was a way his nose wrinkled upwards and his mouth hung open, almost barking with laughter, and it was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen.

In turn, Nina listened, and smiled. It wasn’t Brooke being happy again that made him react this way, but the fact he was opening up. He’d always been so closed off, emotionally speaking - arguably one of the main reasons he’d never had a successful relationship before - and now here he was. Thirty-three years old, and finally being able to admit to his best friend, without shame or hesitation, the feelings that someone new was causing him to feel. It was revelatory, really. When Brooke finally admitted why he hadn’t taken anyone home that night - because none of them were a certain dainty, dark-haired and eyed Jewish-American queen that he was slowly becoming hooked on - Nina held Brooke’s gaze and grinned, maintaining the connection as he spoke.

“You know what this means, don’t you?”

“…yes,” Brooke admitted, though not yet willing to say the words.

“You love him.”

It was factual, credible, and totally without judgement.

Brooke nodded.