#the space photos make me negative money

[shaythempronouns]

no idea how I ended up with a job where I can give a real presentation that has this slide in it

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Smut where reader is sitting on Elvis lap and he fingers her while whispering how pretty she is in her ear 😏

A/N: Thanks for this request, anon! Very much up my street, I love a lap. I think this maybe ended up a bit more emotional than you might've intended but we'll see. I have incorporated this into kinktober.

Kinktober Day 12 - Role Reversal

Pairing: BDE x Reader

Word count: 1.7K

TWs: Crying, negative self-image stuff, self-destructive behaviour, fingering.

Kinktober masterlist

“Hey baby, Jerry got those photos we had done back from the photographer, if you want to see them?”

You groan. Photos of yourself are the last thing you want to see, but Elvis had been insistent about getting them done. It was a horrible day of bright lights and melting make-up, and worst of all someone telling you to smile all the time. You can’t smile for the camera. You just end up looking fake and ugly. 

“Not really,” you call back, from the other room. 

“Not really?” Elvis stomps into the room with a fist full of photographs. “These cost me a lot of money, you know.”

“It’s hardly anything in comparison to those caddies you bought the guys,” you snap back, leaning back in your armchair with a thud and pulling the book you’re reading up to your nose. 

Elvis frowns, put out by your mood. You’re usually so cheerful. 

“Look,” he demands, throwing the photos onto the open pages of your book. 

You slam the book shut without doing anything of the sort, dumping it on the table beside you and standing up. 

“I don’t want to look at photos of my stupid ugly face!” You declare, storming out of the room and into your little dressing room, slamming the door behind you. 

Elvis stands there, completely stunned. Ugly? He thinks you’re beautiful. He wanted you to see how nice the photos of you were. He thinks he looks kind of chubby, but you do such a good job of building him up and loving on his body that he doesn’t really mind. He’d actually thought about framing one or two of the photos, and wanted you to help him choose. Your reaction has completely blindsided him, and he suddenly realises that maybe you don’t like the way you look, and he’s never noticed before because you spend so much time on him instead. He walks through the room and over to your dressing room.

“Baby?” He calls, softly, through the door. 

You sit on the floor on the other side of the door, sniffing. You’d just had a good cry and you were hoping you could rearrange your face before he came looking for you. 

“I’ll be out in a minute!”

“I don’t… I…” he starts, unsure.

“Leave me alone!” You don’t mean to yell. It just comes out like that. 

Sometimes you wonder what Elvis is doing with you at all. It’s probably his lack of confidence that came with the weight gain. Eventually you’ll build him up enough and he’ll realise and leave. 

Elvis walks away, a little shaken. He’s never heard you raise your voice like that and he doesn’t like it. He makes his way down to the TV room and tries to watch three channels at once, succeeding in watching none of them. Instead he just sits there and thinks about you and realises he can’t remember the last time he told you how pretty you are. You spend so much time showering him with affection he’s forgotten that you need it too. 

It must be an hour or so later when you finally pad down the stairs in your slippers and a long summer dress. You follow the sound of the TVs and find him sitting there, staring into space. 

“Hey.”

He turns his head and smiles. “Hey yourself. C’mere.”

You sit down next to him on the sofa. He shakes his head. “No, c’mere.” Grabbing you and plonking you on his lap. 

You look down. “Sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have snapped.”

One of his big hands cups your cheek. “That’s okay honey. I probably deserved it.”

You shake your head. “No, no. You didn’t.” Looking up, you stroke his cheek now. “Should’ve wanted to look at photos of my gorgeous man,” you coo. “You can show me now if you want? You’re so handsome.”

Elvis beams, about to agree, and then he realises it’s happening again. You’re distracting from yourself by talking about him. 

“We can look at them later. Right now I want my baby to feel good.”

“I feel fine now, Elvis.” Pretending again.

His hand moves from your face to your calf, and he runs it up your leg, dragging your skirt with it, uncovering pale smooth skin. 

You grumble a little, but his practised fingers know exactly where they’re going, and it’s not long before they’re rubbing you through your panties and you’re sighing softly. He pulls you closer to him as he moves your underwear so that he can carefully slide a finger inside you. You moan. He’s so good at this. Kissing your temple, he starts to slowly work his finger in and out of you. 

“Mmmm. My pretty little girl,” he murmurs into your ear. 

You shut your eyes tightly. Why is he saying this? You’re not pretty. Opening your eyes again, you do your best to distract him.

“My sexy handsome man,” you begin, which usually makes him blush. This time though, he puts a finger against your lips. 

“Shhh. This is your time, baby.”

You frown, uncomprehending. He turns his attentions back to your pussy, slowly sliding another finger in alongside the first as he kisses your cheek, then nibbles on your earlobe. When he feels you relax again he hums sensually into your ear. 

“So pretty, baby. You’re so beautiful. My beautiful baby.”

The words make you so uncomfortable he feels you tense up again, and you make a little noise in your throat like you’re struggling not to start talking. His fingers keep pumping, and he slowly starts to rub your clit.

“My pretty girl.”

“Elvis…”

“Shhh. Prettiest girl coming undone right here on my lap. Relax, baby.”

It’s like there’s a war going on inside you. You don’t usually think about yourself, even when he’s touching you you’re usually thinking about him and what he likes. Whatever position he wants, whatever time of day, however will make him feel the best about himself. And you shower him with praise all the time. This turning of the tables has you uncomfortable and confused. You want it to stop, but at the same time you don’t. This big part of you really wants him to take care of you too. But it’s dangerous. It’s so much safer to sacrifice yourself at his altar rather than let him really see you. What if he doesn’t like what he sees? What if he leaves?

Elvis stops the love-talk in your ear to kiss you properly now. He knows you’re somewhere else, in your head, far away from him, and he wants you back. The kiss overwhelms you, he overwhelms you, his fingers pumping in and out as his thumb works your clit. You start to whine softly into his mouth and he pulls back to look at you. Your eyes screw shut and you bury your head in his chest as a thousand emotions come rising up to the surface, pleasure, fear, guilt, self-hatred, love… 

“Cum for me, pretty girl,” Elvis coos, somehow pushing you over the edge into orgasm. 

Tears spill down your face as ecstasy wracks your body. Your pussy grips his fingers and you start to sob into his shirt, helplessly. 

“Baby, baby, baby. What’s wrong?” He starts to pepper your hair with kisses. 

You can’t answer. You can’t stop crying. 

He manages to rescue his fingers, wiping them off quickly on his pants before pulling you somehow even closer to him, wrapping his reassuring arms around you and cuddling you. He keeps going with the kisses until he feels you start to calm down. He’s feeling kind of worried. Sure, women had shed the odd tear in bed with him before, but none of them had ever sobbed like this. He starts to wonder if he’s forgotten how to give you an orgasm and somehow done a secret opposite thing. 

Eventually you move your head and look at him, face red and tear-stained. You rub your face with your hands and groan.

“Now I’m really ugly. Ugh.”

Elvis sighs and shakes his head, his hand rubbing up and down your back. “I don’t know where this is coming from, honey. You’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Now, honey. Why would I have picked you out in the first place if I didn’t think you were pretty? Why would you be living here with me in Graceland? Hm?”

“I don’t know. Probably you have other girls.”

“Only one I want by my side all the time. Only one I want living with me, in my bed. You know the other girls are just company for me whilst I’m on tour.”

You sigh. The other girls don’t actually bother you. What really bothers you is that he’s somehow getting around the special barrier you put up. He’s somehow noticed that you usually do all the looking after. 

“I know.”

“Okay. Well then can you let me love on you, sometimes? Can you let me tell you how beautiful I think you are, just like you have to me for the past three years?”

You grumble and shuffle about awkwardly. He really has figured out what’s been going on. 

“I want to, El. But it’s hard.”

“What’s hard about it, baby?” His hand gently pushes your hair out of your face.

You try hard to breathe normally and keep your voice steady, but it still wobbles.

“W-what if I let my guard d-down and you trample all…all over me?”

He presses a gentle kiss to your lips. “I promise I won’t.” 

When he sees that doesn’t seem to be holding any water with you, he holds his little finger up solemnly. “Pinkie swear.”

You can’t help smiling, despite your fears. He’s so silly. Holding your little finger up too, you let him join them together. 

“There. You can hold me to that.”

You put your head back down on his chest and he kisses the top of it, lovingly. “Okay. I’ll try,” you whisper into his chest and he smiles. 

“That’s all I can ask for.”

***

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet; 

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. 

***

Taglist:

Please let me know if you want to be added or removed:

@vintagepresley @arg-xoxo @from-memphis-with-love @msamarican @blursedblegh @returntopresley @another-identityofmine @eapep @everythingelvispresley @i-r-i-n-a-a @sissylittlefeather @arrolyn1114 @jhoneybees @cattcb @polksaladava @lookingforrainbows @jkdaddy01 @ccab @epthedream69 @lustnhim @elvisslut @pomtherine @that-hotdog @ladelinee @angschrof @fairybloodsucker @deltafalax @makethemorning @elviswhore69

[80486]

just unfollowed more than half of the blogs i was following. if i'm still following you it's either because we are a mutual, or your account is a curious memory (hi @hipsterrunoff).

i don't know why i check this account anymore, i guess for the aforementioned memory. this is one of the online accounts i've had the longest, and it means something to me in a weird way because of that (and not to mention all of the autobiographical blogging baggage the current username carries with it from the late 2010s, iykyk).

i do think that, related to that last thought, i misused and misunderstood tumblr for the last decade. it was an easy place to post photos and longform traumadump (sorry, journal, or err, write autofiction). near 15 years ago i liked the photographers that posted here before instagram stole that (and eviscerated the medium in the process). but we all know tumblr of the 2010s wasn't an art space, it was a fandom space (i will leave it at that). i should have been building my own thing. i should have been making photo zines, writing a massive tome (100,000 word .txt file), hosting my own website, etc. i posted about this sentiment at the time extensively, but nothing ever stuck because the network effects of being here (the friendships i have here) were (and are!) too valuable to let go.

so i don't know what to make of all of this. this blog still exists. i still look at it from time to time. i wish i could curate a killer following. i know none of this will happen. i am resentful about automattic buying tumblr - they have actively done nothing to make it better (it needed to be more are.na or vienna hypertext than whatever they have tried to do). verizon/oath/yahoo should have killed it. obviously this site brings in no money and the userbase actively hates the staff. parting thought: this site existing is a net negative for culture.

[9w1ft]

thanks 9wing! i fully respect your interpretations of those songs as kaylor anthems - in fact, i'm reconsidering my stance on mastermind now 😅 it always felt like blank space 2.0 to me, but your analysis has helped me to see it in a different way. i am someone who is always open to multiple interpretations of the same song, so i hope our thoughts can co-exist if they're different or even contrary! instead of blown out analyses, let me share what parts of each song made me interpret it as bearding songs.

blank space -

"i can make the bad guys good for the weekend" — image control. taylor can make swifties hate or love anyone with the snap of a finger. her beards are benefitted from being with her by gaining popularity to support their works and/or to hide their own gay rumors too. once they're 'exes,' however, they're back to being the bad guys in swifties' eyes. (exceptions excluded)

the entire "cherry lips, crystal skies" verse, to me, feels as if she's trying to impress the general public with their theatrical relationship, and not quite her beau himself.

the main line "i've got a blank space baby and i'll write your name" itself, coupled with the typewriter beat, provokes imagery of bearding contracts. fun song!

cowboy like me -

her beardin' beau is hustling for the good life with stars in his eyes. "perched in the dark" makes me think that he's pretty much a very underground celebrity if we compare fame to light (another name goes up in lights - i can still make the whole lights shimmer - flashing lights). he doesn't want love, he wants a fancy car - a materialistic perk of being a well known entertainer or celebrity. taylor herself is also ambitious and she's at a point of her life where she wants to be taken seriously, so she really needs to display herself as someone with a stable love life. that's how they show 'forever' as their sweetest con.

"now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon" — i can't remember who, but another gaylor pointed out that this lyric provokes the imagery of a literal facial beard.

invisible string -

now this one's a bit sad, i always had a soft spot for this song and i hate to taint its innocence! anyway.

she pretty much shows how different their lives and motivations are in the industry - she wants love, he wants money. she thinks how pretty things could be if the universe aligned them, but really, she knows all too well that's very much not the case. all of this was arranged.

however, i like to interpret the "bad was the blood" verse could be a hint at karlie and their relationship, since karlie was the first person who heard 1989. although i do not know if it would make sense, but hey! that verse actually shows similarities, whereas the first verse did not.

lavender haze -

"staring at the ceiling with you" — business meeting, sitting in those formal black spinny chairs. they're both just kind of bored and staring at the ceiling, since they could technically have that employer-employee relationship.

"you don't ever say too much" — the interviews. they're sooooooo private. he's sooooo magnificently charismatic.

"you don't really read into my melancholia" / "you weren't even listening" — i could get how this could be interpreted positively, but i'm a negative nancy so i predominantly interpreted this as him not giving a shit 😅

"talk your talk and go viral, i just need this love spiral, get it off your chest, get it off my desk" — 'for the love of god, my dude, please say something a little bit more and be more convincing, i need us to be trending and to be seen as the industry titans. got it? cool, now go practise that smiling for photos exercise tree gave you and leave my office, i now need to combat the foot fetish allegations and wipe my desk clean before tree gets here.' i have a very wide imagination as you can see.

"no deal" sounds like her rejecting a (business) proposal. i also get the vibe that her team is shutting down the marriage rumors while his team is trying to boost them? not sure, just a hunch

thanks for this! i appreciate that songs can be interpreted in different ways. i vibe with a lot of what you wrote.

i did a little thinking and in my mind here are the lines i find kaylory about these songs, along with a few additional comments

invisible string

- i just want to add to what you’ve written by saying that to me the song sings like she’s listing up all this trivia that points to joe, some of which (the yogurt shop job) was cleverly planted in an interview of joe not long before folklore was released, and she sings in the chorus “isn’t it pretty to think” that there’s some connection between us that’s actually not there.

- by contrast when the music goes quiet, and she sings in a different pace and cadence, the part that begins with all the run ins, she mentions the dive bar from delicate, past mistakes and chains, changing weather, all of which is imagery that comes up in what we consider kaylor songs. plus, she closes off the line with one single thread of gold tied me to you which i believe is both in contrast to an invisible string, and illustrative of a color very often associated with karlie. this one section of the song feels like the truth hidden within the story.

cowboy like me

- eyes full of stars (this carries over from starry eyes sparking my darkest night, from the song call it what you want, where “call it” sounds like “karlie” a lot)

- the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up (this really feels applicable to taylor and karlie’s situation as we all have a sense of the skeletons in their closets, whereas i don’t really have a read on what skeletons joe could possibly have in his)

- that was all before i locked it down (there is a recurring theme of taylor and karlie putting their public relationship on lockdown starting in fall 2016, the thing with the gold heart locket, the love lock bridge in paris etc)

-idk man, the gardens of babylon line conjures up a… different kind of garden 🙈 in a sort of wear-you-like-a-necklace sorta way, if you catch my drift

lavender haze

- talk your talk and go viral (karlie has had more than a few viral moments in recent years, whereas i cant recall a single time joe has ever said anything memeable)

- i get the bearding interpretation of this song for sure because of lyrics like all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride which point to the you being who the public assumes taylor will marry. and the points you bring up work with this interpretation well, i think it’s a solid way to listen to the song and i’m not opposed to it,

-what makes it kaylory for me is taylor’s explanation of the song as a part of album promo. how she talks about how it’s been hard for her and her lover dodging weird rumors since 2016, and how lavender haze is about wanting to do anything to protect a love. she also references a mad men episode where john hamm’s character talks about wanting to have a relationship with ‘betty’ — a name kaylors have associated with karlie for some time now (karlie’s middle name is elizabeth). there are other things about the song that fit into a particularly kaylor interpretation i have but i get the feeling it’s my own little silly interpretation so i think i’ll keep to myself.

[verybadatwriting]

Runaway

ReaderxAvengers, ReaderxPlatonic!Daisy Johnson

Summary Y/n’s burnt out.

Warnings: Creepy fans, cursing, running away, negative self talk, and negative ‘other people talk.’ (What do you call that??)

Gn!reader

Word count: 563

“Hey Y/n.” Steve said, “Today’s a High Intensity Interval Training day. You can grab something to eat after. Then Stark has a charity event he wants us to attend. Can you try to dress nicely this time?” Before you could answer, he left for the gym. You followed close behind.

“Y/n? Ah, there you are.” Stark sighed when he saw you were still wearing sweaty workout gear and finishing breakfast. “Ugh, you’re gonna have to finish that quickly. We leave in an hour.” You left the rest of your breakfast on the table, since you obviously weren’t gonna get a chance to finish it.

Two hours into the event, which felt like a bunch of people telling you to sit up straight and smile for the camera, you managed to get a moment alone. Away from endless reporters and creepily obsessive fans. You leaned against a column and pulled out your phone to see if your friend, Daisy Johnson, wanted to hang out next weekend.

Naturally, that's when the Watchdogs, anti-inhuman fanatics, crashed the party. You, along with the countless other super powered individuals, were easily able to subdue them. During the fight, one of your ‘fans’ attending the event managed to snap a pic of a wardrobe malfunction. The pictures spread like wildfire online. 

Nobody at SHIELD or on the Avengers seemed to care. They were too worried with what they found on one of the anti-inhumans. It was some space-alien-tech. Didn’t really matter to you. Not when your whole public image came crashing down and was replaced with a new one.

After they solved the problem of the Watchdogs and their alien murder weapon, all attention turned to you.

“Y/n!” Stark yelled, “How could you?! This will take ages to sort out! Why didn’t you make sure nobody saw?!”

“You think I wanted this?” You shot back, “You think I said to myself ‘Ya know what I really want right now? A photo of me leaked across the whole internet.’ No! I fucking didn’t! Steve, back me up here.”

“It’s your responsibility to properly represent the team.” Steve said, “And you’ve completely failed at that.”

“See?” Stark cried, “For God’s sake, Y/n, when Steve and I agree, you know it’s bad. Do you know how much this will cost us?”

“Only my reputation.”

​​

In the morning you were gone. You left your room nice and tidy. You took things of sentimental value, money, and clothes. The rest was in neat boxes by the door. You left a note on your bedside table.  It took three days for the press to get ahold of the news. Just from observing the clips on TV, the Avengers seemed distraught. The countless missed calls and unanswered texts to your phone confirmed it.

The one person you felt bad about leaving was Daisy Johnson. She’d helped guide you through joining SHIELD, albeit mostly online. You sat on your cheap motel room chair, staring at your phone. Her number was ready to call. Sitting there. You instead decided to text her, just to let her know you were alright.

Hey Daisy. I’m sorry I worried you. I’m alright. I couldn’t handle the stress of being on the team. I probably won’t be back.

You turned your phone off, and went to sleep. In the morning, you took your stuff, left a nice housekeeping tip, and left to enjoy your newfound freedom.

[aonoexpat]

20-08-2023 (2/2)

----- Continuation of part 1 -----

The sunrise the next morning was a beautiful sight, but Elrond had never been as frozen as he was that night! I was glad the doors weren't frozen shut and I could still get out to take some nice pictures:

I'd been keeping a close eye on the status of the roads around these parts, and was overjoyed that the road to Aoraki, which had previously been closed due to heavy snow, had been reopened. At 3724 meters, Aoraki is the tallest mountain in Aotearoa, and a wildly impressive sight to see:

We drove up as close as we could get along the Hooker Valley Road, and then geared up for a hike up to Hooker Lake. Sunscreen and sunglasses were essentials, for the entire trail was covered in a thick layer of snow. The bushes all around the track looked like soft little snowy hills, and I'm proud to announce I only slipped and fell down a set of steps once. My travel buddy joked that she wished she had recorded all the noises I made every time my feet slipped and I almost fell, which happened countless times during the ~4 hours it took us to get there and back. Especially the three ice-covered swing bridges across the Hooker river were dizzyingly treacherous terrain. Though we both felt sore from walking in the snow, the end goal was 1000% worth it! I bet this track is a lot of fun during summer as well, but this felt like the epitome of "walking in a winter wonderland" ❄️🎶

We had a lot of fun throwing snow balls and pushing our faces into the soft snow when we needed to cool down from the walking. By the time we got back to the parking lot we were both exhausted, but very pleased with the day we'd had ❤️

During the drive back we called ahead to a holiday park in Twizel to make sure they'd have space for two cars, because we were both craving a hot shower and a proper meal. The camp kitchen wasn't worth much, but we managed to cook up a feast for ourselves and cozied up to the fireplace with a movie for what would be our last night together, at least for now. In the morning we both went our separate ways, because our plans and wishes had started to diverge. I really enjoyed caravan-ing up with somebody else, it's nice to know you have somebody to talk to before you go to bed, somebody to have a cup of tea with in the morning, and somebody to share the beautiful sights with. Who knows, we might catch up again at a later date! We did briefly run into each other shortly after parting ways at the Omarama clay cliffs, which are a really cool sight (again, a short drive brings you to a dramatically different landscape):

For now I'm back on my own, and while I was planning to head to Oamaru and view the blue penguins, that's going to have to wait for a bit. I decided to take a leap and try my luck at finding a temporary job in the Tāhuna area. It's a bustling region right now due to the ski season, there are loads of tourists here (who drive so slowly omg who have I become that this bothers me) so I'm hopeful I might find a place to work. I'd like to earn back some of the money I've been spending on fuel, and the thought of being in a more populated area for a while, having fun with colleagues, playing music... sounds quite nice to me right now. Who knows though, I might not find anything and decide to just move on after a couple of days after all. Time will tell. In the meantime I'm trying to get some rest, it's been a rather intense week with a lot of driving and I'm content to just sit still for a moment and collect my thoughts. I've been feeling a bit better, getting my sense of adventure back, but I'm not quite as chipper as I'd like to be yet. I do believe I'll get there again though :) I spent some time today looking at photos from my trip to Australia eight years ago, and they reminded me that everything is temporary, and I'll likely look back on all of this with a huge smile in eight years' time too. Negative thoughts can seem overwhelming, and they may make me feel like I'm not making the most of my time here, but even just writing these posts today has made me realise I've been having a lot of fun lately, and I will likely continue to do so 😁

[superbdragoncollection-stuff]

The Overlook Effect. Considering how few astronauts there have been, it's hard to say if it's universal, but it's significant enough to occur in most if not all astronauts and people who go to space. William Shatner had a negative version of the experience but even he realized it emphasized the importance of caring for Earth.

Carl Sagan said, when describing a photo of Earth from Voyager 1, that, "It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

I often wonder if light pollution has negatively affected us by making us unable to see the stars and thus unable to grasp just how big space is.

I've also heard that some morons insist that the Overlook Effect gives us "too much" perspective. I don't remember her name but she was some supposed progressive who insisted that a global perspective like that somehow made you disconnected? Or something?

I think the disinterest in science is one of the saddest things I can imagine. People will complain about rockets, dismiss future technology, and insist that it's all too far away. And they seem content with that. Don't you want to see this stuff in your lifetime? Don't you want to dance in zero g, don't you remember wanting to bounce on the moon like Neil Armstrong? What happened to your sense of adventure, your childhood wonder? Was it beaten out of you by apathetic adults?

We have the capability to see the future we were promised within our lifetimes. We can save the planet, and we can do it very soon and very easily. It took us nine years, just nine years, to go from never having sent a man into space to putting twelve men on the moon, with plans for space stations and shuttles and a Mars mission well on the way. "But why don't we spend that money here on earth?" Because we already tried that. That is literally why Apollo was ended; everything was cut for a problem on earth known hereabouts as the Vietnam War. That was literally the justification. And the eyedropper of a few bucks from Apollo did NOTHING. If space was really as expensive as people whine, it would have made a difference, but it didn't. Oh gee, for the cost of one Saturn V you can buy three fighter jets. What a profound amount of money.

Imagine what we could do now that we have fifty years of space experience behind us! Imagine what we could change, imagine what diseases can be cured! Imagine what we can do with future technology! Imagine a submarine that can go into the deepest parts of the ocean. Imagine an airship that can take you across the country. Imagine a train that can get you from New York to Miami in two hours. Imagine the things we can learn from animals, the medical advancements we can make!

"hah", some so called progressives scoff, "that's the rich man's game". Since when?! Why?! NASA can roll out patents like mad. Super soakers were invented by a rocket scientist for God's sake! Back in the day, these weren't advertised for the rich men.

PAN AM RAN A MARKETING CAMPAIGN FOR THE COMMON FOLK!

This isn't a rich man's game! We can't let them take it over!

Lobsters used to be poor people food, you know.

FOR THE LOVE OF EARTH, HUMANITY, AND ALL OUR HOPES AND DREAMS, DON'T LET ROCKETS BE LOBSTERS.

The fact that we as a species haven’t dropped absolutely everything for science baffles me.

You want to go to war? When there are dinosaur bones under your feet? When there are diseases that could be cured? When trees can communicate?

I will never understand.

[julialouisdreyfest]

Destiny Bond Interview

Destiny Bond is a hardcore band from Denver, Colorado. They enjoy a good craft beer, the occasional CBD gummy, wearing North Face puffy vests over collared shirts, and watching the Colorado Rockies lose. Wait, I'm thinking of my uncle Eric. Destiny Bond probably also likes those things as well. So it sort of works out.

We asked them some annoying questions and they answered them! Read below!

Q: Who is Destiny Bond? 

A: Destiny Bond is the sexy daughter of James Bond who uses seduction to accomplish her missions.

Q: Why is Destiny Bond? 

A: Because it simply must be.

How is Destiny Bond? 

A: Pretty good! You? 

Q: For the Dreyfest peeps who don’t know, where are y’all from and how’d you all meet?

A: We are Cloe, Adam, Rio, Emily and Amos. We all met through playing DIY music in the Rocky Mountain Region. 

Q: I think three of you played the very second Dreyfest, in different iterations! There are a lot of funny photos from that fest, I'll have to remember to bring them to show you. Any moments from that fest stick out in your memory?

A: I remember playing in my old band justinedrugs at that festival and having the best reaction we had had anywhere up to that point. It was awesome! I also played the first Dreyfest with my old band Weather-Control from Cody, Wyoming and with my solo project Oxen Free. -Amos

The first Dreyfest I attended was while my band stoic. was on tour with Adam’s band Caged Bird Songs. There was only room on the fest for CBS, so I just got to watch bands that time. stoic. did return to Dreyfest a few years later, we played under a basketball hoop and it was a slam dunk - Cloe

Q: Favorite city/cities to play in? I've always been a fan of Milwaukee shows myself!

A: Some of my favorites are Cleveland, Columbus, and Minneapolis. -Amos

My recent favorites are NYC, Columbus, and Springfield, IL! I may be biased but Denver is an all time favorite for me still -Cloe

Q: The band has a vitality and energy about them live and on the record - where do you source that energy (rage?) from?

A: The rage is one of the wolves that lives inside me….but honestly it is sourced from every day frustrations living as a transwoman in today’s climate, seeing the marginalized people in my community being trodden upon, and the everyday difficulties of seeing the changes I want to make personally and in the world, but struggling to find motivation for such big undertakings. I want my voice in this band to echo the part of your mind telling you to keep going, to find solutions, and to find them with and in your community in ways that bring others up with you. I want that rage to be turned into a productive and proactive force, rather than adding more negativity to already bad situations. - Cloe

Q: If Destiny Bond were a cover band for a day, who would they want to cover for a set?

A: I would like to do a two song Egg Hunt cover set  -Amos

The Distillers, covering all three albums - Cloe

Q: Hardcore seems to have been making a comeback - any other hardcore bands you’d recommend? 

A: Everyone reading should check out Candy Apple, SPINE, Punitive Damage, Yambag, Bootcamp, Mexican Coke and Skinman - Amos

What Amos said, plus G.O.O.N., Concealed Blade, Jivebomb, Violencia, and Stress Positions - Cloe

Q: If you were given a million dollars, but it had to be spent in ways to directly improve the Denver music scene, what would you spend the money on?

A: Purchase a space to run all ages shows, community events, and affordable practice spaces in perpetuity that could survive any changes that may take place in the city. 

Fuck/Marry/Kill- Chappell Roan, Charli XCX, Sabrina Carpenter 

Why pit three bad bitches against each other?! Okay, I guess fuck Chappell Roan, marry Charli (the supreme discography of the 3), and very regretfully kill Sabrina, like in the style of the stock image with that little kid crying holding a gun - Cloe

Fuck/Marry/Kill- the Denver omelet, Colorado Style Green Chili, Colorado style pizza

I don’t know what Colorado style pizza is so you can kill that, marry the chili, fuck the omelette - Amos

Fuck/Marry/Kill- Coors, Fat Tire, Dale's Pale Ale

Marry Coors, Fuck Fat Tire, Kill Dale’s - Amos

Q: Favorite 90s movie to cry to?

A: Dumb and Dumber - Amos

The Incredibly True Adventure of 2 Girls in Love - Cloe

Q: Favorite 90s album to mosh to?

A: Satisfaction is the Death of Desire by Hatebreed - Amos

Life. Love. Regret by Unbroken - Cloe

Q: Favorite 90s video game to lose to?

A: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater - Amos

Diddy Kong Racing - Cloe 

Q: Favorite 90s TV show to laugh at?

A: All That - Amos

The Nanny - Cloe

Q: Any gnarly tour stories or experiences with crashing at houses, house shows, car stuff? 

A: We got caught in a really scary snowstorm outside of Rock Springs during a night drive and had to stop and stay in a hotel and then the next day we blew a tire and had to change it and put on a spare in -11 degrees. We got it fixed and made it to the show though! -Amos

I’ll just add that immediately after that harrowing experience, we played a show in a garage with the garage door open in 20° weather in SLC. I played in a hoodie, hat, and gloves, but the show was incredible with kids literally hanging off the ceiling. - Cloe

Q: What are Destiny Bond’s plans for the future? Signing a lifetime contract to be the spokespeople for an up and coming VPN service based out of Singapore that I can get you on the ground floor of no later than the end of this fiscal quarter?

A: Nah, we won’t be doing all that but we are planning on playing a show in India before the end of the year at the largest cultural festival in Asia. - Amos

Whoa idk Amos, this VPN sounds pretty promising, and “Destiny Bond - Be My Virtual Private Network” has a nice ring to it. Can I access Netflix in other countries with it? - Cloe

Q: What can we expect for Sunday’s set on August 11th at Craft Local at 8:30 PM MST 2024 

A: Uncompromising high octane punk rock fury - Amos

That, and probably one of us hurting ourselves from jumping - Cloe

Catch Destiny Bond at Craft Local on Sunday, at 9 PM.

[mrthoughtbubbles]

Hi Yeet,

I’m not in a good head space right now and I feel that my mental health is deteriorating again, with the feeling that I’m being bombarded with negative,passive-aggressive, and gas lighting attacks multiple times a day since October last year, telling me that I’m bad for this and that, that I’m hiding who I truly am(according to them), that I should stop messaging you(which is the reason why I can’t message you now on IG), that I should choose someone who sees my worth, that I should choose that person over you, that I uploaded photos online, that the said person wanted to sue me, and many more…

I don’t want to be with someone with a gigantic ego, someone who thinks that my messages are referring to her, yet it starts with your name on it, that strong-arms someone with the threat of a lawsuit if I don’t comply to her demands, which is to stop watching p*rn and to choose her(It’s ironic since everybody knows that she watches it as well…) , blaming me for making her toxic, yet she has a ton of enemies already before she knew about me, hiring people to attack me every time I go online, especially the one from IG in the morning, forces me to apologize, yet I already did it 5 times with 2 written ones in this blog of mine, yet will never accept it, and other stuff that I can’t remember right now…  A good example of the way they’re attacking me on IG would be the news about the sentencing of Harry Style’s stalker that wrote 8000 letters to him in just a month and all, since I write to you every day…

I feel that my time is running out, that at some point I won’t be able to message you anymore and I can’t think of a solution for it since my mental health is deteriorating… I dread that I’ll be back to the old me that’s a full-blown paranoid schizophrenic... I’ve been talking to mama about the prospect of meeting you, but from the looks of things and from the reality that we need to pay a lot of things at the moment, I don’t know when exactly “months from now” will be… We’re not rich, we just get by month by month, and when we fall short on cash, I’m always there to give cash and there’s no time limit as to when I’ll get the money back… In fact, I don’t expect to get all of them back, to be honest…

I love you, Yeet, and I’m trying to show that by writing to you every day, but it’s unfair for you that I don’t know when I’ll be able to meet you, that I feel that I’m just wasting your time, time wherein you can find someone who’ll be there for you at any moment. Mama brought up a term that I didn’t like, which is, “people from different worlds can’t be together.” To me, if you love someone, tell that person and just keep on trying day in and day out, but even though I don’t like that term, going back to what I said at the start, it’s unfair for you, I dread that it’ll be more unfair, knowing that I’m mentally I’ll and sometimes I’m wondering if everything is just in my head… I love you, Yeet, and I want to believe that it isn’t just in my head...

[partnersrelief]

The 2023 Report Card: Middle East

Photo:  Two students in the Phoenix Learning Center math class, Domiz Camp, Kurdistan Region of Iraq.

It's time for our 2023 Middle East report card!

:: DRUM - ROLL ::

372,473 people were helped, with an additional 132,613 reached in the earthquake response. Over half a million people in the Middle East were loved in tangible ways in 2023!!

1.

Community dialogue

sessions can change the future for generations.*Nara is from Nineveh and although she wanted to be an architectural engineer, the customs in her village led her to an arranged marriage at 16 years old. After attending a Sustainable Peace Foundation community dialogue session, she started encouraging her friends to complete their high school education and that further study can help strengthen their community.

*Name changed for privacy and security.

2.

The last seven

years of Sozan’s eleven years of life, she has lived in a tent. She had felt alone, but now, she attends activities run by our partner, Inhalation of Hope.

“Our teachers were always guiding us through how to be better and be successful in school, how not to let people use us, and how we can keep ourselves safe from harassment. I also participated in math and Arabic classes. During these months of activities, I learned how to plan for my future studies and how to prepare for my education. The sessions with my teachers helped me to think positively and get rid of negative thoughts about my days…now I can deal [interact] with my friends and enjoy my time in a safe space.”

~ Sozan, Iraq

3.

Life skills

training is an upwardly mobilizing piece of the EmpowerME program, and when your world has been thrown upside-down, sometimes it can mean all the world to have help to turn it rightside-up. When Rwaida’s husband was forced to join the military, and their once-quiet neighborhood started being patrolled by tanks, they fled to Domiz Camp, in the Kurdistan region of Iraq. She attended Life Skills Training through EmpowerME and learned about money management. She purchased her own sewing machine and is now designing, mending, and sewing clothes for neighbors. She hopes to hire women in her community, to give them a way to support their families.

4.

Women tell

us how they feel about the Feminine Health Training and Feminine Hygiene kits distributed through Empower ME:

“I love the kits! They are comfortable and feel healthy to use.” “I like that the pads are washable and can be used many times to save money.” “I learned a lot about good hygiene and how to keep my body clean to protect against infections.” “I really liked the section on self-defense. So good.” “[I] learned how to be brave.” “Made me realize how important females are in society.” “Please, keep giving such training – it is so useful.”

5.

Snapshots

because there’s more good news.

Displaced families living in shelters in Al-Hasakah were without food; which is why this community sprang into action and funded food kits containing sugar, rice, burgle, olive oil, tea, spaghetti, chicken broth, and lunch meat.

The Sustainable Peace Foundation utilizes many methods to bring about healing from trauma; here, youth from Mosul are learning to create art.

So much happens at the Phoenix Learning Center in the Kurdistan region of Iraq; one of them is an English class for this local girl.

Motivated knitters, and our friends at Purl Soho, created an income for families in Dawidya Camp, and warmth for children in northern Iraq and Syria.

As displacement increases in Northeast Syria, the need for rehabilitated schools increase. Getting kids back into school is a priority for parents, and to all of us.

Al-Hol Camp is a scary place - especially if you are a child. That’s why we love the child friendly play space, where kids can come, create, make friends, and be, you know, kids.

Your love made this possible.

When you gave, we went!

Yay, you, and this incredible report card!!

One, two, three cheers,

Your friends at Partners.

Donate Now

[forgottenyear]

Photography.

No, really. Not just pictures, but more than can be healthy to know about old film photography.

It has been an obsessive hobby for a while. (*excessive)

[a very long text, but with pictures this time]

A photo taken under a dining room table in 2004.

Hyperfocal and in low light, on sheet film (using a Shenhao HZX45-iia camera, Kodak TMY / 400 ISO film, developed in HC-110 with minimal agitation), large format (mine is 4x5 inches).

The technical challenge was to take a hyperfocal photograph (both foreground and background are in focus, although my scanner could not capture this as well), but under low light.

Hyperfocal photographs require the aperture to be small, but low light usually demands the aperture be wide open (to capture as much light as possible).

It took about a day to research and to make the spreadsheet to calculate for failure of reciprocity (film exposes exponentially [I think exponentially] more slowly over the time of the exposure). It took four and a half hours to take the photograph (cats and people walked through, but not slowly enough to be captured). I placed the camera, then increased the light until the needle on the light meter just twitched, and I had to calculate from there, since it was not even on the dial when it twitched.

Developing with minimal agitation is a trick I picked up from reading about Ansel Adams, and it is not supposed to work well with modern film, but it takes a little longer to develop. Minimal agitation takes advantage of the developer to widen the tonal range - kind of like HDR, except in the development of a single negative. The developer exhausts itself in bright (or is it dark, I forget) areas of the film, but continues to work on the less exhausted areas.

(I do not have the space or the money for a large format enlarger, so my prints are either direct contact, or digitally scanned.)

--

Hemlock tree trunks (2003)

This is an abumen print, from a 100 ISO negative (Kodak TMX as marked on the right edge, also using the Shenhao HZX-iia), also developed using HC-110 (it is safe around cats) (and incompetent amatures like me) and minimal agitation.

I snagged a boxful of premade abumen printing paper from Chicago Abumen Works before they stopped selling. I could make my own, but that will not be needed for a while. I have used Van Dyke solution, but the results are less impressive than this. Most of the photos I print are on albumen or cyanotype (using the premade kind that they sell for sun prints in craft stores).

The same hemlock trunks, printed using a different method.

This was printed, over a month, on a green file folder that I noticed would fade in the sun. The actual folder does not appear to have printed, but I was able to "find" it in photoshop. It did print, but the contrast is so minimal that "developing" also drew out the individual grains of the file folder. I direct copied the original negative, because I did not want to expose the original to the abuse of sitting in a sunny window for a month (which is why the notching is different - in the upper end of the right edge, there are notches to help identify the film and its orientation in a darkroom).

Albumen and cyanotype also use sunlight for printing, so this was not far removed from my usual alt-photography methods.

--

A side-street at night (January 2004).

This does not appear to be a great technical challenge, until I add that it was shot on black and white film (Kodak TMX / 100 ISO).

This process involves shooting three sheets of film, each with a different color filter. When the process was originally developed, it would probably have been gum printed, but I was unsuccessful with this process. My "printing" process was to assemble the three images as color channels in Photoshop.

Being a night photo, but less hyperfocal than the one under the table, the film had to be exposed for about five minutes. In January. I was keeping the unexposed film carriers in my jacket to keep them warm, but this meant opening my jacket to the stiff wind that was blowing up the street at me. I was approaching hypothermic before I was done, but a shady looking man started talking with me and saying that my camera looked expensive, so I walked toward the center of town when I finished, to be sure I was not being followed (the shortest route home is the one in the photograph, but the streets are more darker much quickly).

--

Yet another color photo taken on black and white film. In this one, if you can zoom in on individual buildings, you can see where lights were turned on or off over the twenty minutes or so it took to take the three sheets of film with different color filters. You can also see where the tide was going out, by the color changes. The cyan color reflected nearer the far shore corresponds to the red filter (I always go RGB, so I will be less likely to get confused about which filter comes next in the middle - which is the only reason I know the tide was going out). RGB is the inverse of CMY(K is usually included in the set, but BW film answers for that), so a red filter produces a cyan negative, green produces magenta, and blue produces yellow. (If you have wondered, the red-yellow-blue set is reflective color, red-green-blue is additive, and cymk is subtractive - color is way too complicated.)

--

An ant war (2004)

My pictures were horrendously shuffled about by a backup program, so I cannot locate the companion image for this one. Because they are unwilling to sit for a long exposure, I had to throw enough light onto the scene to capture this one quickly. Fortunately, it was in my back yard, so I brought out a large mirror to reflect the sun.

Understand that these are tiny ants, only a few millimeters long. If I could find the companion detail, I could show that the TMX (100 ISO) negative captures the rectangular mirror reflected off the gaster (the ants butt) of several ants.

I originally started with large format, and low-speed, film because I intended to write a plant identification guide for a local hiking trail. The photographs in the guides I had were not very good - they would describe hairs on a stem that the photographs did not capture.

4x5 (four inches by five inches) cameras are about a large as I would care to carry into the wilderness with me, and low-speed film has the smallest grain, which produces higher resolution images. Unsurprisingly, the film I use (or did use, I have not done much with it for years, as the dates on these pictures may show) was still used for scientific images until recently.

--

Little white flowers (2004)

Another color image taken on black and white film. But this one shows the strength of large format 100 ISO film that captured my interest. Look at the detail in the detail photo at the bottom. I would not call this stem hairy, but look at the individual hairs.

Also, notice that the stamen were wilting over the course of three photographs, through the color changes as they drooped. This was taken on an overcast day, but still bright enough that it was within the film's speed. It does take time to change the film cartridges, however.

Insert the film cartridge. Remove the dark slide. Snap the photograph. Return the dark slide. Remove the film cartridge. Then repeat this twice more for one color image. Each individual photograph is on its own sheet of film, each in its own film cartridge (although I do use double sided cartridges, the process is the same for each side).

--

And finally, my baby (or the same model, HZX45-iia, since I cannot find my pictures anymore):

The description I first read of this camera said that "it folds up neatly, like a Hello Kitty lunchbox." It does fold down into a nice little box, but I keep it in a rugged case just to be safe. The perspective of this photo is misleading - the front is smaller than the back and the bellows taper accordingly (or accordianingly).

If you have ever wondered, the bellows allow the focal length, and the focal circle, to be changed. Every photograph in this post was taken with the same lens, which came with my first LF camera (a studio camera that does not fold up neatly, and bears no resemblance to a Hello Kitty lunchbox). I think it is a 150mm, but do not quote me on that. It is the standard for 4x5, whatever it is. I grew so attached to the versatility of a bellows that I got one for my DSLR (also no valid Hello Kitty lunchbox comparison, disappointingly).

A friend was in China on business in 2004, so was able to get the camera for half-price, or I would never have been able to afford this foolish hobby. It took much longer to assemble the darkroom equipment, and even that relied on close-out stock from camera stores that were going out of business.

2004 was also when I first had ocular migraines. Which is why my photography fell off. I hope to start up again, now that the medication is helping.

[md3artjournal]

9:15 PM 12/2/2023

I've been thinking of giving up on drawing fanart or even human figures. I just don't have the confidence to compete in the fanart space, doing character art. I barely have confidence to promote myself as an artist of my original art that I've already done. And frankly, I've had so many negative experiences in fandom by now, I feel like I've probably burned bridges I don't know about, and people would not only not want my fanart, but actively disdain the idea of any art coming from me because of my fandom opinions. I mean, one of the top artists in that ship blocked me on Tumblr, after all. (Maybe they didn't like that I like Bottomitri? Maybe they found my hidden posts about enjoying a quick laugh out of jokes about DMCL being teasing, tsundere, and/or flirty, but actually preferring headcanoning them differently. I really don't know.) Like, I already have stickers made of one of my favorite claumitri fanarts, but I'm so reluctant to post in the tags to ask if the fandom wants to buy any, because I feel like that fandom hates me (with a few exceptions).

I've been thinking for some time, about rebranding. I'm thinking of focusing on my sketches of my photography. It's mostly photos of my backyard's flowers and the sky. (Maybe I should go out to Angeles National Forest to take some photos of landscapes. I live across the street from there, after all.) After I found out I couldn't make any merch of my tiger sketches, my best illustrations, because they were based on other people's photos, I started taking my own source photos for reference. But the only subjects I have are my backyard. I'm kind of too socially anxious to leave my house for the past several years. But my flower sketches have turned out pretty well. I just wish I had done more. And I also take photos of the sky: clouds, dusk, etc. So I want to start trying to draw sketches of the sky too.

I subscribe to all these YouTube artists who talk about the small business side of being an artist, and I just don't have the guts to do any of the advice they're giving, because I don't have any confidence in my art. Because I don't have any confidence in myself.

I once told someone that I'll probably WANT to return to an office job, by the time I NEED to return to an office job. (Something like that; I can't remember anymore.) I think I need to return to an office job. I mean, I still have money. But not enough to comfortably outsource and invest in stocking items for sales. I try to hit sticker producers' sales, but I couldn't make the last one in time, and what if it takes a while before the next sale like that in my price range? But if I can't stock enough for a store, then do I just give up? But then I'm still stuck with the same problem I had, when I first decided to try to make my living as an artist:

I just can't be happy not doing art. Even if I'm bad at it. I spent so much time at offices, having excess money, secure with employer sponsored medical insurance, and I had everything everyone said I needed to be happy. Yet, I was still self-destructive and my suicidal ideation crept back. Not as bad as during school---I had improved from cutting myself, to simply digging my nails into my skin or clenching my hands in ways that hurt my joints---but I could feel it coming back again. That's when I decided that if I was too tired after work to do art, and art was what I needed to do to feel life was worthwhile, then art needed to be my job.

But I'm just not good at it. Maybe I don't want it enough. Otherwise, wouldn't I be studying and training more? But I just can't get myself to work hard at it. My dad said once that when you're really into something, you'll automatically find yourself working hard at it without trying. Well, I found myself doing that with art in college. But now, I'm not doing that with art anymore. At least, not at the level I should be. There are people studying so hard in their spare time, that they post astronomical leaps in their 1-year-progression posts on social media. I'm not doing that. Why aren't I working as hard as that?

But I can't go back to an office job. I don't want to go back to feeling suicidal. I don't want to go back to school, because that DEFINITELY made me suicidal and self-destructive (at least at those levels). I don't want to go back to feeling that way again.

But I guess I still have suicidal ideation now. One little mistake today with some grownup responsibilities, and my thoughts are already spiraling about how I'm not cut out for being alive. But if I'm not happy while doing art, nor while not doing art, then maybe I really am not cut out for being alive. I've lost the guts to be actively trying to suicide, as I did when I was in school. But maybe I was onto something. But like I said, I still just don't have the guts for anything. But I'm also not cut-out for being alive.

9:34 PM 12/2/2023

Anyway, I just wanted to remind myself to try sketching my sky/cloud photographs.

11:32 PM 12/4/2023

I've started actually browsing how to get a library job. I've talked several times, on an off, throughout my life, about working at a library. Though, technically, I've already worked at a library during college. It was nice. A lot of times throughout my life, but especially during college, the library was the only place I could be. I had too much social anxiety to go to my dorm and all the communal spaces to hang out were social. (One time, I was racing to study for a test, in one of those communal spaces and religious solicitors took up my precious little study time, trying to recruit me. Ugh.) The library was the only place I could go to be undisturbed, sit down, be warm, and rest---Not that they had enough seating for that, most of the time. But it was still a reprieve my my endless walking around campus, because most spaces aren't built for non-social people. When I was little, I used to be a big bookworm, and constantly beg my mom to drive me to the library again and again. But I learned to hate reading in high school, so I thought I couldn't work at the library. All the library job listings required degrees that looked like they entailed a LOT of reading. And I just can't do that anymore. But my elderly mom got a job at the library for a few years a long time ago, despite her lack of a Library Science degree. So lately I've been reconsidering a quiet life with a library job or any unassuming job, with art as my hobby. Maybe art would be better as a hobby. Less pressure to be on parr with the "competition", and more freedom to feel proud of doing better than me from the past. But then the old fears creep in again about a job taking all my time and energy, until I can't do the things that make my life feel worthwhile, and then I'm self-destructive again.

Anyway, I should at least open an Etsy shop and make some more stickers. I'm really leaning towards rebranding. Maybe into multiple brands, to include my figure photography.

After all, since my figure photography keeps winning contests and features online, then doesn't that mean my best art, the art I should be focusing on, is my figure photography? I've been thinking for a while to start a YouTube side channel for my figure photography. I can be objectively aware that my figure photography isn't exactly the best, especially compared to all the other figure photographers out there. But since it keeps winning recognition, doesn't that mean that people like it enough? Maybe I should be doing something with it? Or at least taking it more seriously. I don't even have an Instagram solely focused on my figure photography! I don't even have a DLSR!

There used to be a figure videography channel I loved called fullOanime, who made figure showcase videos that reminded me of the cosplay music videos that I watched a lot of, at that time. Fulloanime deleted all their figure videos and rebranded, but I always wanted to watch videos like that again. I began to want to make figure videography music videos, like cosplay videographers. (For a long time, I WAS a cosplay videographer. Just not the ones with gyroscopes, making music videos. I just documented cosplay gatherings.) Something for myself to rewatch, the way I used to repeatedly rewatch fullOanime's figure showcases. So often, I see the Nendoroid YouTubers I Follow, talk about how no one is watching their unboxing videos. So even though people have told me that my collection is diverse enough to make a good unboxing channel, I've felt reluctant. (But mostly because i like taking my time, documenting my unboxings for myself, so i can be sure if any damage or missing pieces were like that straight out of the box. I dontwant to redirect focuson turning unboxing into a video, versus documentationfir my records. But also others make it sound hopeless. I don'tneed more of that feeling.) And even the ones doing figure showcases, just aren't using the rewatchable style that fullOanime or cosplay videographers do. It's usually just the figure spinning on a rotating pedestal. Granted, some Nendoroid showcase channels I'm subscribed to, do that well. But I am craving a showcase that is just as interesting as a cosplay music video. I want those videos back, to rewatch over and over, like cosplay music videos or fullOanime's figure showcases. But it's becoming increasingly clear that I guess I'll have to do it myself. But I'm not a film editor! I used to draw comics and people from the animation college would compliment it as "storyboards", but it's been a LONG time since I lost that skill.

So should I make a figure photography YouTube channel about DIY miniature crafts for photoshoot props? Because I do that too. Not to the extent of diorama makers and the figure photographers who assemble entire miniature model buildings from scratch. But just the simple stuff. …Maybe I should make a channel about lazy miniature crafts and the most simple diorama backdrops? lol

Basically, i wonder if I'd be better off with art as just a hobby. I love seeing other artists doing well with their business and making beautiful things. But i don't enjoy knowing that's the bar i have to reach to make a living. Because i can't do it.

[hesfrombarcelona]

Brooms, by Jasmine Walls and Teo DuVall

Genre:

Brooms is a YA graphic novel.

Target Age Group:

This book is best for young adult readers, generally ages 14 and up.

Summary:

In 1930's Mississippi, magic is real, but the government strictly controls who is allowed to use it, and that does not include young Billie Mae and Loretta, and their group of friends, who are mostly queer and people of color. The girls are risking everything by participating in illegal broom-racing, in the hopes of winning enough prize money to move somewhere they can live authentically and use magic freely.

Justification:

Brooms received starred reviews from Publisher's Weekly and Booklist. I became interested in this book after reading a review in Booklist that described it as, "a story about queer folk and people of color who have created a space where they can joyously and freely be themselves." (Booklist, 2023).

Evaluation:

For this book I will be evaluating plot, illustrations, and characters.

Plot:

This plot got a little complicated for me in places. All of the various subplots work together, but sometimes it felt like there were too many ideas being crammed into too little storytelling space. The heavy regulation of magic use among people of color was an interesting metaphor for real-life oppression among these communities. So was the shipping of magical children to boarding schools, a reference to the government based mandatory residential schools for indigenous children in United States history. Then there are the personal stories; Billie Mae and Luella's romance, Cheng Kwan's coming-out to her parents as transgender, Mattie and Emma's magical training and simultaneous evasion of the magic authorities. All of these feel like they could have easily been the basis for a stand-alone story, but taken together against the backdrop of the main plot of the illegal broom racing, it was easy to get a bit lost. The ending also felt a bit sudden, as if the author was not really sure where all the subplots were heading but just needed to wrap everything up.

Illustrations:

Teo DuVall has a simple clean illustration style. A very few frames show detailed backgrounds, and these are lovely, but most feature one or two characters against a single-color backdrop. The character's are drawn in a simplified fashion too, which can be confusing at times as it makes some of them very similar in appearance. The colors convey the emotions of various settings, warm yellows and oranges for intimate domestic scenes, and cool blues and purples to show the freedom and exhilaration of flying.

Characters:

The representation of diverse communities in this story is expansive and positive. There are a lot of main characters for a single volume, which is a plus in the sense that it provides lots of interpersonal relationships to pull story material from, but a bit of a negative in that each character only gets a brief moment in the spotlight before it is time to move on to the next plot point. the result is characters that have a lot of potential, but come off as under-developed and one-dimensional.

Overall, I loved the concept of Brooms, the creators are clearly talented and full of good ideas. If this became the entry volume to a series focusing on individual characters in other books, there is a lot of potential. There is an epilogue to the book, which tells what various characters go on to do after the story, through scrapbook-style newspaper clippings, handwritten notes from characters, and photos. This section was very interesting and made it clear that there is much more material that could be developed in the future. For this individual book though, I felt like some serious editing could have made for a better story.

References

Hyzy, B. (2023, September 15). [Review of the book Brooms]. Booklist. Retrieved from https://www.booklistonline.com/Brooms-/pid=9780069

Walls, J. (2023). Brooms. (T. DuVall, Illus.). Levine Querido.

[landscapedesignseo]

When looking for a landscape designer or architect, there are a few important things to think about

The individual has been envisioning their future outside area while perusing the web portfolios of seasoned landscape designers. Landscape architects come from a variety of backgrounds, although many concentrate in one area.

When employing a landscape architect, what considerations should a prospective customer make? The topics discussed include how to work with landscape architects and how to assess the scale of a project.

Does hiring a professional landscape designer need me to spend a large sum of money?

Connecting homeowners with professionals in interior design, architecture, and gardening is made easier by this online network. We will make use of the legal and regulatory definitions of designers and landscape architects, rather than depending on their subjective evaluations of their own abilities. To provide the greatest possible aesthetic for your landscaping project, it is recommended that you work with a Professional Landscape Designer.

One useful tool for differentiating landscape architects from non-specialists in the industry is the licencing requirements. Hire a professional landscape designer to make sure you're in accordance with the law.

In certain circumstances, hiring a landscape architect might make sense.

Please confirm that the terrain and drainage on the site are adequate to sustain building and maintenance activities.

The landscape architect's grading designs must be carefully examined and formally authorised prior to the issuance of a construction permit.

Here are a few potential fence configuration options. Stressing how confined this problem is is essential. It can be required to get permission and a seal from a licenced landscape architect, architect, or professional engineer before starting to build a new retaining wall. A number of variables, including the kind of foundation, the height of the wall, and the state of the soil, will affect the need for approval and sealing. All construction designs must be approved by the landscape architect before they can be put into action. The specifics of this case have been the subject of a great deal of controversy. For such space, you need a landscape garden design.

Many firms have strict guidelines and demand extreme prudence.

To ensure that your project doesn't negatively affect a floodplain, wetland, or public right-of-way, consult a landscape architect. For landscaping projects in more specialist locations with stringent standards, approval from a landscape architect is necessary. Still, this is by no means an exhaustive list of advantages that come with hiring a landscape architect. Seek advice from the city planner and your Homeowners Association (HOA) if you are unclear about the need of hiring a landscape architect. It is preferable to work with a professional landscape architect that specialises in Coastal Garden Design Nz to guarantee the finest results.

Please refrain from going overboard.

Hiring a landscape architect is the next step after determining the project's scope. The landscape architect may choose the best applicant after they have all the information they need. Would you kindly elaborate on the precise parameters of this project? To enable me to make the required preparations, kindly specify what has to be altered. Are you interested in a particular topic, or are you just curious about anything in general? Accurate survey plats and aerial photos may provide important information about the scope of a project.

What do you think is the reason you are worried?

It's important to keep things in perspective and avoid micromanaging. Any house would benefit from having a saltwater pool, and building a new one or enlarging an existing one is a common endeavour. Prioritising and arranging your queries and worries for the landscape architect in advance of your planned meeting would be beneficial.

Author Bio: For the Professional Landscape Designer David is a professional writer having the specific ideas for the same.

[elianastavrakos]

"sortie de metro," by Sabine Weiss

This image was taken in 1955 is named “Sortie de metro, Paris,” by Sabine Weiss. The majority of her images from the 1950s were placed in time after the war when a feeling of hope and joy could be felt by most of the people in the country. In Weiss’s image” Sortie de Metro, Paris,” shows two men hurrying up the stairs of the subway station in a rush.  Due to the lighting in the tunnel being so dim, I’d like to believe that Weiss is trying to show us how us the different types of emotion people were feeling throughout those years after the war and possibly to give them hope. This picture like many others taken by Sabine, shows us how different everyone is and that no one is similar. She captures the emotions of people living their daily life. 

Looking deeper into the photograph “Sortie de metro, Paris,”, we can see that it is obviously daytime due to the light coming from the doors of the metro station creating shadows of the men running out even although the image is in black and white. I can see a repetition in this image being the stairs, there are multiple stairs giving some sort of depth to the image.  The image doesn’t have a lot of negative space , however, I would say the ground level closest to the photographer shows us that the men are pretty far from the camera. This image has caught my eye due to the movement of the men, my eyes went from the square of light on the floor to the exit of the station following the beam of light shining in. The photographer used the motion of the men hurrying to the exit to show us that they were in a rush to go to work.

In conclusion this picture is put together using various lines and shapes to create the movement inside as if it was a time lapse.

I really appreciated Sabine Weiss’ photograph because I was impressed by how she made the lighting look so good in a black and white photo. Id like to believe she took this picture to show us how these men had to travel to work everyday in the 1950s and show that they were in a hurry to go make money to feed their families. However, when I look at the color and motion of the men, it reminds me of stress and anxiety which is I assume these men are  feeling. After analyzing and doing more research about this photograph, I’ve learned much more about Sabine Weiss and her art. The story behind each photo really helps me appreciate the art. 

[icanonlybe-human]

Wow this weekend fucking sucked.

It was my cousin’s memorial.

Here’s a list of things that went right:

- got my new phone (can now take photos for it)

- saw my family

- saw mum and dad

- helped younger cousin with her mental health

- treated myself to a little shopping

- was able to wash the car after mum, dad and Nan left

- AM was finally able to talk to me on Instagram after 2 months of silence

Okay, now the things that went wrong:

- memorial was a shit show where I didn’t know how to human

- people acted different around me (probably because they found out I went to the psych ward)

- learnt that aunt S and uncle B don’t fully see me as a fully developed human worth interacting with unless I’m with my parents

- had multiple massive depressive episodes

- realised the possibility of getting a rental with my circumstances in this economy is slim

- spent too much money

- parents left

- autism/anxiety played too much of a role in how much I could do this weekend

- relationship with nan has deteriorated

- mum worried about me

- uncle Bo ended up in hospital

- uncle Bo diagnosed with autoimmune condition

- found out Aunty N texts Dad over me, and I had to find everything out about uncle Bo through Dad instead of her (I thought we were getting closer)

- realised I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and am now mentally arguing with her in my imagination about how the last psych ward stay went (who wants to bet she’ll want to admit me again)

- wondering if I’m having delusions about the mental health system or if I’m a person genuinely pissed about capitalism and the current infrastructure built to “help” psychiatric patients

- friends are dropping off

- realised how lonely I am

- realised Ju is never going to be the type of person I need her to be (aka a safe space)

- had a “how the fuck did I get here” moment (not in a good way)

- dad disappointed about how little I’ve done for his design project (I’ve had no motivation, energy and/or time to do it and now feel super guilty about it)

- back to thought process of “only reason I’m making an effort to keep breathing is because the family couldn’t handle another loss” instead of “I want to experience life” like I was after the first round of TMS

So yeah. Full throttle depression. Anxiety overload. Frustration galore. Energy = negative one thousand.

Fuck brains, man.