#the song is Stars by The Weepies

[usedtobeguest123]

Tangerines are hanging heavy

glowing marigolden hues

teasing the half-pale moon

and I feel a pull to the blue velvet dark and stars

[scalpelsister]

im right btw 👍

[pinkkittysaw]

jedi master!suguru x f!princess reader. part of the jjk star wars au! we meet mimiko and nanako and get to see a little more of jedi suguru bc im sickeningly in love with him. wc 2.7k

divider thanks to @/saradika

Clacking through the hallway of your family’s estate, dress hiked up far above your ankles and knees to allow less prohibitive movement, you rush back to your chambers. Shocked you can walk and wobble in the shoes picked out for you, the worried handmaiden attempting to keep up with you concerned about what put you in such a hurry to start with.

“Is everything alright, your highness?”

Nodding, you try to brush off any further questioning but fail while fumbling into your bedroom, trying to toe off your shoes at the door and toss them to the side. Quickly ripping the intricate headpiece keeping your complicated braided updo in place, you stop your rapid dash as soon as she stands and quirks her brow in your direction. She holds out her hand and you place the delicate metal in her palm, the actual piece hanging off of her hand and glinting in the light.

“I assume you’ve heard the Jedi is here?”

Immediately, you try to explain yourself away but she just laughs, pretty waves swaying with each shake of her head. She knows you better than anyone, having been by your side since you were both children, and it’s written all over your face.

You’re about to go bend some rules.

Which ones are entirely up to your whims and how much deeper your feelings have grown for Master Suguru since his last departure. Those who know about your dalliances support you and your affections for the man but the election is coming up and the words of Senator Nanami stick in the forefront of their minds regardless of how brightly you smile to get out of trouble.

“Report her recklessness to me, please,” he asked months ago. The entire group of your handmaidens and attendants and pilots have yet to turn you in, several meetings between yourself and the man you were to be avoiding arranged secretly.

The sweet way that you speak about Master Suguru makes you practically glow and this is enough to convince them to turn the other cheek or to at least pretend they aren’t actively facilitating two rule breakers following their hearts rather than their duties.

Defeatedly, she sighs and walks across your chambers to your closet, sliding the door open and digging through the garments inside. She knows you keep your disguises toward the back but wonders if you’d be so bold to attempt to disguise yourself on your own home planet where people have known you from your dimples to your beauty marks since the day you were born.

“How much sneaking are you doing tonight? Do we need to put you in Jedi robes again?”

Laughing, you shake your head and move to untie the laces at the back of your dress and you’re stopped by another handmaiden who reaches where your arms fall just short of being able to touch and you whisper your thanks. Turning back to your unimpressed attendant, she awaits your answer while rubbing fine fabrics between her index finger and thumb.

“No hiding tonight. In fact I’d rather wear something to really turn his head,” you joke and she gasps, shocked by your brazen admission of wanting to capture the Jedi’s attention rather than demurely rebuff him as you’ve been instructed to do by every person with sense around you.

“I’m joking.” You clarify quickly with your brows raised and she nods, her face giving away her disbelief. There’s a little truth to every joke, after all. “I am going to introduce him to the twins, though, so perhaps something informal.”

On a daily basis, you don’t care what you’re laced or fastened into. You don’t take pains to think about the fabric, the shoes, the accessories - that’s what everyone standing around you does - but you always feel compelled to try and impress Suguru despite his insistence he’d find you breathtaking in mechanic shop rags.

Your palms sweat at the thought of seeing him again after several months apart, much less introducing him to the young girls you recently plucked from the local orphanage after getting a call from the minder of all the children, a friend of yours.

“These girls belong elsewhere,” she explained sadly and you knew in a moment this was a decision as difficult for her as one could be. You nodded understandingly, knowing exactly what she meant after looking around at the faces of the other children. They weren’t any more or less important than the rest of the children but they had something different about them - Force sensitivity.

The orphanage is well funded thanks to your tireless efforts to divert funding to support them and the other children will eventually be sent to school or apprenticeships if they choose to become mechanics or pilots or anything they want - the beauty and power of choice is something you’ve insisted they be given. Life is meaningless without the opportunity to choose, a fact you are all too familiar with.

These girls were different in a way that made them stand out even to the other children, deeply worrying for their minder.

She disclosed that she believed them to both be Force sensitive but didn’t want to immediately let the Jedi Council know, wanting to look into other options first. The girls recently lost everything including their parents in an unfortunate raid on their home and had become withdrawn as a result.

You attempted to encourage them out of their shells and only succeeded after asking them if they’d like to come and stay with you on your estate. You made this decision to keep an eye on them until Suguru’s return. He’s the person best equipped to evaluate their potential and you, again, wanted to give them the opportunity to choose.

Would they like to be Jedi? Would they like to stay with you as attendants in training?

Tonight will be the night you’ll hopefully be lent the slightest bit of clarity either way and you rush to slip into a breezy dress with hem that hits right at your ankle. Just as you slip into your far more comfortable and practical sandals, a knock on the door makes all eyes turn toward you.

Your handmaiden makes her way to the door and offers a polite bow to the man standing on the other side who bows in like. The sight of them is hard for you to make out from where you stand but you hurry toward the door and meet the cautious glance of your attendant with a smile.

She rolls her eyes and shakes her head but relents. There is no point in telling you what you already know - be careful, be safe, be smart. You have already defied all three requests, doing so since the day you decided to follow your heart and carry on your secret affair.

“Master Suguru, how wonderful to see you.”

It is wonderful. In fact the sentiment feels almost shallow as you regard him, gray tunic and matching pants wrapped around his body snugly with a new addition of an olive colored outer robe.

“The pleasure is mine as always, your highness.”

Eyes dancing across him for longer than you should allow anyone to see, you can’t help but wonder if he picked the color knowing it’s your favorite. He is one of few people to know such information, after all, and you’ll be sure to ask him later after it has been chucked off and discarded on the floor of his accommodations.

Extending his hand in your direction, you take it and brush your pinkie along the outside of his thumb as you always do. It’s the smallest touch but the most intimate the two of you share where others can witness, the soft curving pad of your finger almost too familiar with the knuckles. He smiles, meant just for you, and you assure your handmaiden that she is to stay behind in your quarters as you step through the door and it shuts behind you.

You are free at least for a little while and giddiness runs wild when you rush to his side, his long hair brushing the backs of your elbows with how close together the two of you are walking.

“I have some girls I’d like you to meet, Suguru. I believe they’re Force sensitive but wanted to allow you to assess them first before contacting the Council.”

He nods from beside you, hands grasping his belt as they always do and your stare lingers over them ensuring you see no trace of new injury. They appear clear, no scratches or burns. He understands the inspection and also the hidden meaning of your words - you want him to mind probe and see how they feel.

It isn’t a painful or intrusive process, something they’d have to go through if they were to attempt to join the order anyway. You picked him for his lack of discipline and rigidity which is something he perhaps should be offended by but it’s also the very thing that will have him tracing his long fingers over the curve of your spine later. He can hardly complain.

“Have you noticed anything specific in either of them that you find concerning? Anything threatening?”

Contemplating his words for a mere moment, it doesn’t take long for you to shake your head.

“No, nothing like that,” your voice lowers in volume and you lean closer to Suguru who fights the urge to put his hand around your waist and hold you there. “I simply worry because of their bond. I don’t believe they could ever meet the standards set for them.”

Ah yes, a twin bond. It isn’t enough they can practically communicate without words but it has happened more than once during his time as a learner and now a master, twins often find themselves struggling with the attachment bonds between them. A Jedi is not to have them, the most ardent rule they’re all to follow, but how can one break a bond with someone they shared a very womb with?

“I’ll see what I can find out for you.” He means it and you smile at him warmly.

Walking a few more paces down the corridor, you arrive in front of the quarters you know that the twins have been staying in and knock at the door with a smile. A small voice comes from the other side, barely audible.

“Who’s there?” Smiling, you lean closer to the door and speak quietly. “It’s me,” you announce just loud enough for the girl to hear and the door cracks.

Nanako peeks around the doorframe, large brown eyes widening as she sees you. She returns your smile with one of her own as her gaze darts behind you to Suguru, her smile fading as she leans closer to you and you close the gap to ensure she feels comfortable speaking.

“Is that the man you told us about?”

You nod and she looks between you and him before pulling the door open enough for the pair of you to enter. Suguru cautiously steps behind you and bows before the young girl, bending his knees slightly to meet her eyes.

“Thank you for allowing me to come in Miss…” he trails off and the bolder of the sisters smiles at him, leading the way into the bedroom. “Nanako. My name is Nanako and this is my sister Mimiko.”

She motions toward a small table and chair set in the corner where a darker haired girl who looks nearly identical to her sits, looking up through her lashes and hiding a smile in her shoulder seeing you. You don’t have to instruct Suguru to stay standing where he is, he knows given how cautiously she stares, and you approach her and sink to your knees beside her with a smile.

“This is the man I told you about,” you clarify to Mimiko who looks around your shoulder and nods. Suguru takes the opportunity while they’re distracted to use the Force to gently gauge the girls and their feelings. They seem comforted by you, the lighter haired twin gravitating toward where you kneel beside her sister.

The three of you have a conversation he cannot hear between yourselves but he can see the girls’ memories gradually fill in a blank silhouette that lived in the moments you’d described to them to give them a frame of reference for what Suguru means to you with him. His hair, his robes, his serene smile.

Fondness nearly chokes him up as he sifts through the memories, you described the first night you met him in storybook detail. You told the girls about the time he saved your life on Corellia, back when he was still a Padawan learner. You even told them about the time he gifted you his Padawan braid upon passing his trials, a symbol of his great affection toward you even if you downplayed the symbolism of receiving the gift.

It’s humbling to witness the way someone speaks about you while you aren’t there and he feels overwhelmed with emotion as he delves deeper into the girls’ minds while they’re chattering about their day to you. You’re practically glowing in their memories, a warm tinted haze coloring each moment they remember sharing with you. He believes if they could do the same to him, probe his mind, they’d see you colored in the same light within his subconscious.

You’re his sunlight and it appears that you are theirs as well, laughing through their memories and letting them gather in your lap to read to them in the evenings.

The truth he worried about the most is soon revealed to him - the girls are inseparable. What one does the other will follow and he knows in that moment what must be done to ensure the pair live a life full of their own decisions.

They must stay here with you.

He clears his throat and you smooth your hands over the back of each girls’ head, smiling while excusing yourself and leaving them to watch the two of you attempt to stay separate and neutral despite the urge you have to lean against his shoulder or plant your palms on his chest while listening to him speak.

How you manage to exercise such restraint even surprises you at times but alas, you haven’t ever been given the option to do otherwise. You clasp your hands in front of you and he smiles, dark eyes meeting yours and making you shiver.

“They should stay with you,” he whispers. “They’re too old and their bond is too strong to be bent and broken.”

Nodding, you understand immediately what he means and you invite the girls to come and stand next to you. They rush to your sides, arms wrapped around your legs, and look up at Suguru expectantly who crouches in an instant.

“The two of you are happy here with the princess, right?”

They nod in unison and press their cheeks against your thighs, your hands coming to once again comfortingly cup the back of their heads. He smiles and nods in return.

“Stay where you’re happiest, it will always lead you in the right direction.”

Your own heart flutters at his words, wisdom one of the many things you adore about the man, and Nanako sticks her hand up to announce she’s about to speak.

“Is that why you came back here, Master Suguru?”

He tips his head to the side as if to ask what she means and she clarifies, stepping forward and putting her hand on his shoulder. “Are you happiest where the princess is?”

Children never miss a thing, he thinks while contemplating the best way to answer the question. His heart yearns to be wherever you are, no matter where you are and he knows it’s true. Suguru is many things - an oath breaker, a rebel, a romantic to his core - but he tends not to be a liar unless he has no option left so he nods.

“Yes, yes it is.”

The girl nods her own understanding and backs away from him, returning to your side with a grin as she looks up at you.

“I think he likes you, Princess.”

Giggling, you pet the back of her head again and look directly at your love in front of you. Years you’ve spent wanting him, it feels as if you’ve done it for more years than you’ve been alive sometimes, and you wonder if you shouldn’t be so indulgent in the presence of your charges. Perhaps you should demur like you always do, downplay the relationship between the two of you, pretend he doesn’t know you from the very inside out.

They already have it figured out, though, so there’s no sense in lying.

“Luckily for Master Suguru I’m awfully fond of him as well.”

[chaoticbardlady99]

Could I request a fluff fic for Astarion falling for a tav reader who's a bard and an amazing singer? Maybe he can't sleep, so he goes for a walk and finds reader singing to themselves, and he sits and listens, slowly realizing how hard he's fallen for them?

Thank you so much for putting this in my inbox! I hope you enjoy!

Astarion x GN! Bard Reader

I used the songs Nobody Knows Me At All by the Weepies and Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls because I am a cliche.

  The moon glows brilliantly throughout the night sky and the stars don’t seem to realize how lucky they are that they don’t have to deal with feelings and masters and all the other terrible side effects of being a person. 

 In spite of his name sake, Astarion does not have the luxury of being blissfully unaware of the horrors life has to offer. It didn't bother him so much- he took each terrible thing as it came and rolled with the punches. Whatever it takes to keep him alive until the next day- it’s essentially his life motto. 

  Another thing stars aren’t burdened with- the need for rest. 

 Traversing into the Shadow Cursed Lands is the last thing Astarion wants to be doing and while he was already worried for himself, he found he has an entirely other worry weighing heavily on him. 

 Where in the hells are they? He thinks, its been an hour and a half now since they wandered off! 

 He is trying to not be so clingy and weird- you don’t seem to mind his company and his overbearing ness, but the others had been teasing him and he was rather sore about it. 

 They called him a lovesick bat amongst other things and he is not lovesick. You are a means to an end, nothing more and nothing less. Granted, no one else needs to know that.

 Sleep continues to elude him as he waits impatiently to hear your footsteps walking back into camp or your scent to come rolling over him from the breeze.

  It’s probably only been 30-45 minutes- realistically- but Astarion has found himself becoming very preoccupied and aware of your safety. 

 You are a squishy mortal- your heart needs to beat and you need to breathe or he will lose you and he can’t fathom the idea of not having you by his side.

 His idle feet drag him to the forest, no longer able to sit and wait for you to make a reappearance.

 I just need to make sure they are safe, he thinks, because otherwise I am not sure they would keep me in the group- yeah! That’s why I’m doing this. Nothing out of the ordinary. 

 While most feel terrified of the darkness of the wilderness at night, he feels comforted and engulfed in it. He loves the sun, but unfortunately, at the end of the day, he is still a creature of the night and that is where he technically belongs.

 He supposes that’s another worry he’s had lately- an intrusive thought really- but what happens when this journey ends? You and the others assured him that they will free him from Cazador forever- Astarion even became a bit emotional when Gale said, “and he won’t find you alone!” when Astarion brought up the dangers of keeping him in the group. 

 You have rallied around him this whole time and stuck your neck out for him more often than not. The two of you have indulged in each other and been enjoying each other’s company, but right now he’s here and you may just not be attracted to the others.

 What happens when everyone gets back to Baldur’s Gate? He’s seen you in pubs before and playing so the bar goers can stay on tune with the singer. You have your own little following of people who crave your attention and while you have told him it all makes you uncomfortable- those people would be a far more appropriate life match for you than a Vampire. 

 Astarion’s ears droop on their own at the thought. He thought he got out of the childish elven habit of slouching his ears long ago when Cazador beat it out of him- you seemed to have brushed off some of the vines. It’s like old parts of a factory are slowly being restored and as it is, he finds pieces of himself he subconsciously knew were there, but are new to him again. 

 For example- he loves a good practical joke just for good fun. He bought a cushion of sorts from Mol and put it where Lae’zel sits- covered with a blanket. She sat down on the log for her watch as quite literally everyone was sitting down to eat dinner. He fell off his seat he was laughing so hard- it was worth being chased up and down a few trees. 

 He also enjoys dancing for fun- you dragged him around the fire during the night of the Tiefling party and taught him more informal dancing and less of the stuffy shit Cazador forces him to partake in. You growled at anyone who tried to cut in- it was rather funny.

 You are also quite the fan of the occasional shenanigan and he finds himself smiling at the memory of your baby hairs stuck to your sweat slicked skin as he kept watch for guards while you graffitied Vlaakith’s painting or when you waved at her instead of bowing.

 Life is fun with you- he forgot why people enjoy being alive so much outside of not feeling ravenous all the time. He feels alive with you and the idea of you and him never seeing each other again for your entire life scares him. He doesn’t want to stumble upon an obituary some time in the future and ‘remember’ the person who saved him.

 He wants to be at your side and it terrifies him, but it would be worse to be away from you.

 Feelings- it’s disgusting and he does not like it. 

 Your scent becomes stronger on a more beaten path and he feels his alarm bells going off- jolting in the direction he believes you are and praying that every God actually hears him as he silently begs for you to be safe. 

  Your melodic voice and the sound of the babbling brook melts the worry in his body. Astarion’s pace slows slightly and he feels that annoying warm glow spread through his body. 

  You are sitting near the bank with your laundry in hand- Scratch and the Owlbear cub are laying down together nearby, one of the pup’s ears upright to hear any intruders. 

 It brings him some comfort that you have Scratch and the little cub- he isn’t sure he would fuck with an Owlbear Cub or approach a Bard with a bewitching voice calling out into the night like a Harpy’s song.

 “When I was a child

 Everybody smiled

No-body knows me at allllll

 Very late at night and in the morning light

  Nobody knows me at all

 I got lots of friends, yes, but then again- nobody knows me at all-“

 You stop suddenly and stare up at the moon and Astarion is completely enraptured with you and your singing. He feels charmed and he is entirely okay with it. 

“I suppose that’s not necessarily true,” you say softly, picking at the grass and smiling to yourself. 

 Oh your smile- he feels himself slowly melt into the grass like a smitten school boy and his own grin dances across his lips. 

 They are talking about you, the thoughts sends shocks of happiness and twinges of guilt, your plan worked.

 He should be thrilled, but he could honestly give a shit less. He is too busy listening.

 “And I’d give up forever to touch you

 Cause I know that you feel me somehow

 You’re the closest to heaven, that I’ll ever be

And I don’t wanna go home right now.”

 If his heart beat it would be pounding in his chest right now. 

 Your face is so relaxed, but he adores the furrow of your brow as you concentrate on hitting all the right chords and remembering the lyrics.  The song is beautiful but he is certain it’s only because you are the one singing it. Anyone else singing a love song would make him feel nauseated. 

 Astarion feels centuries of heaviness roll off his body with every note and sweet omission of trust. 

 He is hypnotized by your lovely fingers plucking the chords and he feels the ghost of your hand in his- you had taken it in your hand while everyone walked through the forest. Your hand had felt perfect in his own and he felt like a young, giddy, new person again. You always make him feel like that though lately. 

 “And I don’t want the world to see me

 Cause I don’t think that they’d understand

When everything’s meant to be broken

 I just want you to know who I am.”

  Astarion had lost all hope- truly lost it all- before the Mindflayers had kidnapped him. He felt more hopeful once he landed on the beach, but that hope was also laced with overwhelming fear. 

 Lately, he has been more present in his day to day. He is happy and full most days. He wakes up near you or to the sound of your laugh instead of the screams of his siblings or angry commands from Cazador or being yanked out of bed by either Cazador or Godey to be dragged off to the Kennels or Gods only knows where. 

 Astarion has actually been trancing for four hours straight without interruption these days and he even fell asleep a couple of times- his body finally feeling safe enough to completely shut down for a while. He woke up feeling stronger than ever and your heartbeat echoing through his ribs. 

 You had been more than happy to let him share your tent at night after he had barged into your tent after a particularly bad trance. It had been shortly after killing Nere in the Underdark and before entering the Crèche. He has basically been sleeping there every night since and he gets to enjoy your company- and all to himself!

 You with your wild morning hair and sleep ridden breath- it’s a gift he has never been given before. Astarion is grateful for every morning he has gotten to wake up next to you and you are alive- so vulnerable and warm with sleep. 

 He adores the way you tiredly blink at him as you become more aware of the world. You have begun to leave a sleepy kiss on his lips in the morning and he finds himself looking forward to it; and the mornings you forget, he steals a lazy morning kiss from you. It’s like Gale and his coffee, he can’t start his day anymore without that first kiss in the mornings. 

 You continue to sing- your voice strong and full of passion. Happy tears make your eyes glimmer and sparkle under the moonlight and for once, he doesn’t hate being a creature of the night because you make nighttime seem ethereal and lovely; enchanting and whimsical; a luxury to witness. Astarion is positive you could make even the most dingy corners of the world look beautiful from blessing it with your presence alone. 

 You finish your song and he decides he cannot take being away from you for another moment longer so he backtracks just a bit.

“Darling?” He calls out with a fake worried voice, “are you okay?”

“I’m over here!”

 With a big, stupid grin on his face, he half skips half walks over to your spot under the tree.

 You are delightfully rosy with blush and your eyes light up upon seeing him- Astarion doesn’t think that will ever get old. You are the first person to ever genuinely be happy to see him and he laps it up like Scratch drinks water after he has a fit of zoomies. 

“I am so grateful it’s you singing- I began to feel charmed and feared the worst!”

 You roll your eyes at his comment, but smile widely anyway and put your luteto the side, taking his outstretched hand. 

“I am so glad you find my singing appealing,” you say breathlessly, “I will have to work harder to truly charm you next time.” 

“Oh- you may consider me thoroughly charmed, my Sweet,” he presses a kiss to your forehead and you giggle, “anymore and I might become your Thraul.”

“That wouldn’t be good at all!” You exclaim, “you would agree with me on everything and it would be terrible!”

 Astarion throws his head back with laughter- it’s not even all that funny, but the way you embrace his personality and find it enjoyable fills him with so much joy. 

 You pull him out under the moonlight and he cocks an eyebrow at you- you respond with a cheeky grin.

 “Magistrate Ancunín,” you say sweetly with a bow, “I thought I might have seen you across the dance floor this evening.”

 Astarion smiles, “Ah! Your highness- how lovely it is to see you, my Dear. I was so hoping you may be here tonight- everyone else is so dreadfully dull, as you already know.”

“Believe me,” you roll your eyes and wave your hand, “none of them find my jokes or my stories entertaining.”

“Perish the thought!” He puts a hand to his chest in faux surprise, “They should all be sentenced to death!”

 Your eyes widen for a moment before you snort and join in.

“I so agree,” you snap your fingers, “there- it’s all been magically taken care of. I am the most powerful Highness known to the realms, after all.”

“Oh your majesty,” he pretends to be on the verge of feinting, “no one has ever done something so wonderfully romantic like this for me before- however can I repay you?”

“You could repay me by giving me this dance?”

 He hears your heartbeat race slightly and you look a bit nervous. It’s such a bizarre thing for you to feel. Of course he will dance with you. It would be criminal not to.

 Taking your hand- he pulls you to him and wraps your arms around his neck. His fingers greedily cling to your hips as you sway together back and forth. 

 You hum as the two of you have your foreheads pressed together and your eyes closed- the only individuals privy to the moment being the moon and the sleeping animals. 

 Astarion appreciates how your voice always reflects your feelings- the happiness in your tune is pleasant to his sensitive ears. 

 Eventually it’s the sound of the river that you both sway to and he barely catches your sentence.

“I am surprised you came looking for me,” you say with a yawn, “I thought you would be asleep by now.”

 He shakes his head, “I couldn’t.”

“Bad trance?”

“Something like that,” he quickly tries to change the subject, “why are you still awake?”

“I wasn’t able to sleep and decided I wanted to enjoy the moon and the ability to sing so freely,” you sigh, “Gods only knows when we’ll see it again.”

 Astarion hums in agreement- taking your callused hands in his and tracing the line of your hands. This seems to help you relax and it does bring him quite a bit of happiness to be able to help you relax as much as you help him. 

“I- I am really scared,” you look up at him with tears in your eyes, “I’m scared to go into the Shadow Cursed Lands. I have heard the stories and the lands are haunted by the cursed dead- people who had lives- who had stories.

“I am scared I could end up joining them,” your lower lip quivers so adorably, but he doesn’t like the words you are saying at all, “if I make one wrong move or we all get separated-“

“Stop,” he says, his voice thick and his chest heavy with an emotion he can’t identify, “I won’t allow that to happen. I can assure you that you will be rather irritated with me by the time we kill Ketheric- I don’t think I will be able to allow you to be out of arm’s reach.”

 He says it, but the actual reality of the comment doesn’t hit him until a couple seconds later. 

 Fuck.

 You smile brilliantly at him, “I hope you are ready for the same treatment.”

“I would be offended if you didn’t!”

“Well, we certainly can’t have that!”

 You lean forward and leave a kiss on his lips that takes his breath away- he follows you as you pull away, not ready to be without your lips on his. Astarion smiles against your mouth when your breath hitches- he loves that sound.

 And he is terrified to lose you.  

 Astarion fucked up his own plan- well okay, not really, but he did kind of. You have fallen for him, that much is obvious, but he was never supposed to fall for you! 

  The swaying continues- even as your body becomes heavier and heavier with sleepiness, Astarion feels like he’s dreaming and also simultaneously having a nightmare.

 He needs to rid himself of these feelings before they become all consuming- before he goes and does something stupid. 

 Maybe I give myself some space- sleep in my tent tonight? His chest tightens and he cannot breathe,  no, that won’t work. I- I don’t want to do that. I could push them away- get them to break things off with me.

 That thought makes him feel even more ill. Being near you brings happiness, comfort, and warmth- even when he is feeling extremely confused and uncomfortable with his feelings towards you. 

 You see the pieces of him he doesn’t often let others see and instead of despising him, you smile at his jokes. You laugh the loudest out of everyone- even at the jokes that maybe don’t deserve it. You are patient when he is grumpy, unreasonable, and rude. 

 You have become important to him- more important than he ever intended for you to be.

“Let’s go back to camp,” you say with a large yawn, “I need a little bit of sleep- we have a hell of a journey ahead.”

 Astarion helps you pick up your things and he carries your bag for you. You hold his other hand and you both chat as if you have spent years together rather than mere weeks- both of you grinning from ear to ear.

 You eventually wind up in each other’s embrace in your tent and you are snoring softly. Always making music as he likes to say. 

 The nighttime eventually pulls him back into his own trance, but this time, his trance is filled with happy memories of your adventures together with every melody you have ever sung prancing through his head.

[thesinglesjukebox]

CHAPPELL ROAN - "HOT TO GO!"

2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? You all! This wraps up this month's coverage -- see ya in November!

[7.00]

Alfred Soto: Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a sparkling collection of moods and passing desires, best when euphoric. The ballads might have been even stronger had she spelled out their choruses. [7]

Dave Moore: Spelling is fun! [3]

Grace Robins-Somerville: It's been too long since we've had a "spell the words out with your arms" song in the zeitgeist, and seeing people do the H-O-T-T-O-G-O dance at weddings has cemented its staying power. It's nice that lesbians have their "YMCA" now.  [8]

Katherine St. Asaph: "Hot to Go!" is a crowd chant-along that shouldn't work at all as one. The template is "YMCA," but the difference and the problem is that "YMCA" is instantly parseable when spelled out, while "H-O-T-T / O-G-O" takes a moment's reassembly. The other highlight line in "baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me" is endearingly blunt -- more musicians should be that honest -- but nevertheless cannot honestly be chanted by anyone but Dan Nigro or Chappell Roan. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that "Hot to Go!" is hugely effective at getting crowds to chant along. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: Retroactively furious about the idea that one or more of the Village People potentially did or did not endorse Jimmy Carter in the 1980 Presidential election. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Who or what is a hottogo? The chant falls short of total clarity by going two steps further than succinct, but therein lies the charm. Bursting at the seams of some slightly thin fabric, Chappell Roan carries this so far and fast that she might struggle to find her way back. [7]

Leah Isobel: There are about five perfect hooks on Chappell's debut album. "Baby don't you like this beat?/ I made it so you'd sleep with me" is one of them, precise and funny and melodically flawless. I think that was the moment that sold me on her whole project: the bluntness balanced by craft, the expertise made human by the raw and embarrassing vulnerability of wanting sex, wanting recognition, wanting anything at all. Also, have y'all heard the fanmade Rhythm Heaven edit for this? Banger! [8]

TA Inskeep: Every generation gets a new cheerleading-cheer anthem -- think Toni Basil's "Mickey" or Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" -- and here's the latest, with a bit of "Y.M.C.A." thrown in for good measure. It's hard to ignore Roan's joy on this chorus; this is also a rare pop single where its meme-ability actually draws me in (cf. "Call Me Maybe"). How can you not smile when you hear this? [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Of all the guises that Chappell Roan inhabited on her debut album, this always felt like the truest — she sounds like Devo if they slayed, still gawking and midwestern and not quite fitting a perfect archetype of pop stardom but still, nevertheless, a star. The weepy ballads (some of them great) fade away in the face of this, the goofy chant-a-longs and dance instructions wearing one's resistance down on the strength of pure charisma and craft. There are hooks upon hooks here — I think I've had just the synth chord on the prechorus stuck in my head before. [9]

Ian Mathers: I took the number of times I've caught myself humming this song since I first heard the record last year and divided it by a very large number and got this score. I am not currently interested in Discourse beyond that. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: You're trying to take out Chappell Roan the way you took out Amy Winehouse and I don't like it. Not one bit.  Also, the '80s actually kinda sucked -- let's not go back. (This song is great btw.) [8]

Jel Bugle: I know everyone loves Chappell, and I’ve not really bothered to get too excited. I like the Casio keyboard sounds, and spelling out words in songs is always a good trick (see "D I S C O," and I’m sure Olivia has a spelling words out song?). I can see why Sabrina is winning the chart battle here in the UK. I just feel like this song is okay, warm rather than hot -- a sort of personality over the strength of the song. Plus, I’m getting tired of this song constantly being pushed to me by Spotify -- if it happens again the [6] becomes a [5].  [6]

Taylor Alatorre: For all the talk of Chappell Roan hailing the return of “recession pop,” this strikes my ears as more of a grasping imitation of the real than most of what PC Music was accused of putting out. Maybe that’s unavoidable given the generation gap, as well as the decline of the universal pop star – Chappell covers “Bad Romance” on tour, but she doesn’t exude the belief that she can be a legitimate successor to Lady Gaga. She’s ambivalent about the compromises required for mass appeal, even on songs like this one which are structured, at least internally, toward that end. It’s all the external festooning and DIY-style pageantry which redirect the song’s course toward a cozier ideal of attainable imperfection, a glitzy and glammy take on self-sabotage. Which, in the end, is its own kind of earnestness. “HOT TO GO!” is confident enough in its own gangliness to bill itself as a coming-out party where everyone, even the normies, is invited, despite the singer’s doubts about the long-term viability of this promise. [6]

Tim de Reuse: The appeal of "Pink Pony Club" was immediately evident to me on first listen. But this one's a silly Chappell Roan song: The narrative here is buried under catchy turns of phrase and the hokey pokey-ass pre-chorus, leaving us to wring pathos out of a few scant lines in the verses. So, what's the draw? The simple build-and-release drama of a I-IV-I progression? The energy of a jittery, unkempt synthesizer-driven beat? Is the chant of "H-O-T-T-O-G-O" sugary enough to overcome my pop-pessimist cynicism and light up my long-calcified dopamine receptors for once? Eh, kinda. It's well-constructed, but it just isn't aiming all that high. [6]

Will Adams: Silly fun pop that doesn't require much thought -- just do the little dance and enjoy yourself! [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[whiskeyswifty]

One of my favorite things about TTPD is definitely the thread of what makes an artistic genius a genius that runs through it. Specifically, the very concept of genius as it pertains to Taylor swift and how she herself has evolved that definition within her own field, how she mocks it and interrogates it on this album. But also the way it conflates with how we dub her a genius these days; artistically, strategically, philosophically (depending on your mileage). The crux of the issue ultimately is that historically, geniuses are often characterized as men who are lonely and flawed to the point of unsociable. It is in fact their genius that tortures them and isolates them and subsumes them and makes them flawed. And then in turn, the only men who can create great works of genius must also possess those traits because they are decided markers of genius, and so on and so forth. Women geniuses, the few that earn that moniker, in turn are often marked by caveats tacked onto any praise or recognition of their genius work. (It’s all non-cis-men “geniuses” really but for the sake of this discussion, we’re talking specifically about women v. Men because Taylor is a cis woman in a predominantly cis male controlled space) In Taylor’s case, it’s fearless deserved AOTY because it’s impressive….. for a teenage girl writing about teenage girl things, instead of simply saying the album itself being a great work of genius deserving of the award regardless of her age and it’s subject matter. Another being instead of simply saying she is skilled at distilling the human experience, she is deemed adept at distilling the girl experience, the girlhood of her weepy, exuberant little girl audiences. Always a qualifier, always a subset and an othering of female genius. It’s genius…. Within the confines of the handicap of being a woman. 

If you trace back her relationship to this confine, at first, she did try to fit into this genius mold sculpted by men. Young and girlish as she was, she still peddled the idea that she too was churning out these genius songs from a sort of tortured and lonely isolation, albeit scribbled in gel pen ink with kicking feet and yearning sighs, but in isolation all the same. I say peddled not because she isn’t a fabulous solo songwriter but she wasn’t often in total isolation as per the (male) genius handbook, and there in lies the very thing her genius begins to push back on, and the genius presentation of women that often clashes with the defined genius mold of men. She’s incredibly social. Vivacious and thrives being around friends and family, and her line of work traffics in that vivaciousness as a pop star, smiling and dancing and giggling on stage for thousands. She enjoys collaboration and throwing parties and meeting new people professionally and personally. She seeks out interactions with her own fans, to varying degrees over the years but still her hand is always reaching out across the barricade. How much of this is purely a product of a public persona and how much is her innate personal qualities is a moot argument, because the fact remains the same that this is the persona we are presented with, who is the antithesis of the male genius. And it’s not to say that she isn’t lonely or flawed or tortured about it. 

TTPD specifically interrogates that idea both through the lens of observing a guy who fancies himself a genius in that very male way, but also her own representation of genius in the world and how she repudiates the male genius mold foisted upon her. Mocking the stereotypical misanthropic traits of this male “genius” she encountered on songs like the title track, but also mocking the way he (and us by extension) try to classify her as a genius with all the trappings of one. Going as far as to refer to herself as an idiot in contrast, not intellectually perhaps but in terms of her comprehension of the world and her place in it, she doesn’t feel like a genius, not the way the man she’s speaking to seems to cartoonishly categorize them anyway. She doesn’t want to hole up in the Chelsea hotel with a typewriter wallowing in the burden of her genius because she doesn’t feel burdened by it that way, but rather her genius makes her curious and compelled to continue living boldly and blindly. If his (and the world’s) idea of genius is that willfully lonely tortured poet, then she’s much happier to cast herself as a modern idiot. She continues to push back as the album progresses, wherein she doesn’t claim she doesn’t get lonely or she isn’t flawed, but simply that she doesn’t define herself that way or even let those feelings steer her. Broken Heart is a quite literal example where she endures one of the biggest heartbreaks known to humankind and touts her ability to continue to perform her job due to the fortitude of her compartmentalization, not letting it decide how she will live her life. The Prophecy, where she bangs her fists against the forces that insist that she must remain in the lonely tortured poet mold in exchange for this genius, be they arcane or the small mindedness of modern world around her. She becomes animalistic, feral as she howls at the moon even, refusing to be shackled. Which brings us to Who’s Afraid, the most violent push back against the male genius you could say. She does not retreat to the folklore cabin in the woods as she once did when she is lonely and flawed and tortured, but instead lashes out and monstrously displays her emotion in the faces of those who scorned her, promises to never retreat and to instead haunt them, and perhaps all of us, forever. A Frankenstein’s monster of herself, where she is both doctor and creation. A story whose comparison is apt for its subject matter, but also in its creation that gets to the core of how she redefined genius. 

Mary Shelley, a woman, wrote Frankenstein, a seminal work of literary genius, and while the book is about a genius tortured in isolation by his genius creations, she didn’t write it in lonely tortured isolation herself. She came up with it in a house full of friends where they played a game to see who could come up with the best ghost story, for fun. The impetus of its creation was to share it with others and emotionally connect with them. The manuscript closes out TTPD with a harrowing but frank recounting of a transformationally damaging relationship in her life where the song itself confronts how she hid the scope of the damage from others, and even to a degree herself, behind the genius works she created about that relationship. Ironically, some of which are the single works that had the big wigs and critics and greek chorus of the music world finally cement her genius. The lemonade out of lemons she could have said and been done with it. But it wasn’t the declaration of genius that those works afforded her that brought her closure and peace on the matter, as the Manuscript dictates. It was the way the work of artistic genius was received and emotionally resonated and connected with people that allowed her to emotionally connect to it herself over the years and create more art from it until she finally understood the experience fully. Understood what the agony of it all had been for back in her early twenties, and thereby understood what the genius is all for now. If being a woman is seen as a handicap by her genius peers or by those who decide genius in others, merely a hysterical woman or a weepy little girl, perhaps it also could be a huge reason for why she’s able to redefine it, due to her access and ability to embrace those hysterical weepy emotions as only women are allowed to do in modern society writ large.

And so Taylor reshapes the identifying image of our genius as a bitter, tortured, stoic man in his cabin into a smiling face of a woman overwhelmed by a thousand emotions, clasped hands reaching out over barricades. Or one of eyes searching and recognizing herself in the faces of 80,000 people in an audience. Even seeking artistic collaboration with her friends that often results in sharing ghost stories of their own kind out of a desire to connect with each other. As sad and heartbroken and lonely she may feel, she will never be alone and the great mistake of the tortured and isolated male genius is thinking that he must be. If you believe that there is some divine purpose that bestows artistic genius upon a person, what Taylor Swift discovered and redefines and insists upon is that it is not a lifelong curse of loneliness but a gift of boundless and eternal human connection. 

[distance-does-not-matter]

If no one’s got me, I know The Weepies do!!!!!

sincerity is perhaps the most important thing in the world

[baenakinskywalker]

hello, feyre darling. ✨

call it what you want - taylor swift / dizzy - the goo goo dolls / chateau lobby #4 (in c for two virgins) - father john misty / turning page - sleeping at last / come what may - nicole kidman, ewan mcgreggor / city of stars - ryan gosling / safe & sound (feat. joy williams and john paul white) (taylor's version) - taylor swift / labyrinth - taylor swift / untouchable (taylor's version) - taylor swift / i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys / work song - hozier / dinner & diatribes - hozier / ivy - taylor swift / you are in love (taylor's version) - taylor swift / every little thing she does is magic - sleeping at last / someone who loves me - sara bareilles / the archer - taylor swift / world spins madly on - the weepies / nfwmb - hozier / half-life - duncan sheik / one line - pj harvey / heaven is - kacey musgraves

[neuvifuri]

sharing my neuvifuri playlist! cover art by @kingskyless ⚖️💧

the playlist roughly follows an interpretation of their relationship from focalors/furina asking neuvillette to be iudex as part of the plot to make him love humans, the beginning of a romantic relationship during their co-reign of fontaine, the trial and focalors death, furina leaving, and then reuniting 💕

i’d also like to give credit to whoever it was who suggested evermore as a neuvifuri song, but i believe the post was deleted :(

EDIT: i found the post! thank you @cinnamonbirb534

tracklist:

Beauty Will Save the World by Dirt Poor Robins

Come into the Water by Mitski

Remember My Name by Mitski

Come Alive by Rachel Taylor

Deep Water by American Authors

13 Beaches by Lana Del Rey

Me and My Husband by Mitski

C’est La Mort by The Civil Wars

Geyser by Mitski

All This And Heaven Too by Florence + The Machine

Gravity by Sara Bareilles

Intertwined by dodie

Dancing With Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift

Curses by The Crane Wives

everything i wanted by Billie Eilish

The Sword & the Pen by Regina Spektor

I’m Your Man by Mitski

Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil

What The Water Gave Me by Florence + The Machine

Dance Me to the End of Love by The Civil Wars

Maybe by Lily Kershaw

Death Stranding by CHVRCHES

Bigger Than The Whole Sky by Taylor Swift

All Things End by Hozier

In Our Bedroom After The War by Stars

Heavy In Your Arms by Florence + The Machine

Evermore by Josh Groban

Her Embrace by Jeremy Jordan

Castles Crumbling ft. Hayley Williams by Taylor Swift

Marigolds by Kishi Bashi

World Spins Madly On by The Weepies

The Night We Met by Lord Huron

Who We Are by Hozier

Love Love Love by The Mountain Goats

Old Gods by Emily Scott Robinson ft. Alisha Amador and Violet Bell

peace by Taylor Swift

Francesca by Hozier

This Is A Life by Mitski, Son Lux and David Byrne

This Love (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift

Fair by The Amazing Devil

[dragonologist-phd]

10 Songs, 10 People

tagged by @arendaes to put a playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs!! thanks for the tag, i'll take a page from your book and use one of Piper's playlists for the shuffle!

Galway Girl - MALINDA

2. A Good Song Never Dies - Saint Motel

3. Pretty Little Head - Eliza rickman

4. Vagabond - Misterwives

5. How You Survived the War - The Weepies

6. Skeleton Key - Dessa

7. A Song is a Weapon - Stars

8. Poet - Bastille

9. Grifters - Charming Disaster

10. Fake It - Bastille

tagging (if you want to, no pressure!) @bugdotpng @cassynite @orime-stories @rannadylin @risualto @ammoniteflesh @big-cheesy-productions @dujour13 @starlightcleric @serenbach86

[starrlikesbooks]

Happy May! The best month! 💖🌷

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli is one of the few books on this list that I have had the great fortune to have already read, and it easily and quickly became one of my favorite books. I love this story of bi-realization and what queer infighting and virtue signaling does to our community, and I love the tender newness of this love story! Thinking about this book makes me feel weepy, and I desperately want all of you to read it.

To Shape a Dragon's Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose is a Native led fantasy about dragon training and colonization. This book sounds really, really cool, and seems like it could be a bit of a more diverse Dragon Prince, but academic.

All the Dead Lie Down by Kyrie McCauley would have made it on this list even if it didn't look so intriguing, because I trust McCauley so much to make a captivating story with strong, vivid characters. This time, however, things are going Gothic! This is a creepy story of nannying and old houses and horror writers that I'm sure will be stunningly atmospheric.

Fake Dates and Mooncakes by Sher Lee is a queer romance starring two Chinese men and looks so fluffy and cute. This one has a fake dating of convenience to help boost business and just from that cover alone I'm sure it's going to be sweet as anything.

Painted Devils by Margaret Owen is the sequel to Little Thieves, and while it very much does feel like a middle book in a trilogy (which I'm still so excited about!) it gives all the meddling Vanja and low gods vibes as before, now with more romance and absolute need for therapy. I have read this one, and need the next book in my hands like a month ago thank you.

Venom & Vow by Anna-Marie McLemore and Elliot McLemore is the queer romantic fantasy of my dreams! This one has mistaken identities and hidden identities all due to nefarious plots and fluid genders! I love Anna-Marie McLemore and everything about this screams that I would love it, so I'm gnashing at the bit to get this one!

We'll Never Tell by Wendy Heard is yet another book I know I'll probably love based first and foremost on the author. I loved Dead End Girls, and Heard's 3rd book feels like it'll be a similar vibe. This one is about a group of teen investigators accidentally biting off more than they can chew and causing one of their group to get murdered.

Something Like Possible by Miel Moreland I've already read and have been looking forward to seeing it out on the shelf since last year! If you loved the politics of Red White & Royal Blue but would love a YA, sapphic take- grab this book! The politics here are mostly class president based but everything feels more significant and the themes are just heavy enough to do real heavy lifting. Plus, of course, the romance is impeccable.

Threads That Bind by Kika Hatzopoulou claims to be a bit of a mix of Percy Jackson and Song of Achilles, following descendents of Greek figures who inherit their power. The main character of this is a descendant of The Fates (amazing concept right there!) and must use her powers to solve a string of brutal murders

[cherrylng]

100 Albums To Understand Muse - Part 3 [STYLE Series #004 - Muse (August 2010)]

THE CURE Wish (1992) Although they are regarded as one of the original Goth representatives in the history of music, their songs have always been coloured with a distinctive pop feel, with the exception of some of their early works and the ‘Dark Trilogy’ (albums 4, 8 and 11). This ninth album, too, presents a sound world that is light, heavy, glittering and dignified, with a hint of melancholy. Matthew's brother was a big fan of theirs. -I

DAVID BOWIE The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & Spiders From Mars (1972) A classic of 70's British glam rock. This concept album tells the story of a fictional rock star, Ziggy Stardust (actually an alien), who tries to spread love and hope to save the Earth from destruction in five years' time, but ends up dying. The album's neat sound, which makes use of acoustic guitars, pianos and winds, and the aesthetic appeal of the singer's voice are timeless. -I

DEPECHE MODE Violator (1990) The influence of this world's greatest electro band can be heard throughout Muse's songs. In fact, ‘Enjoy the Silence’ bears a striking resemblance to ‘Map of the Problematique’ and ‘Personal Jesus’ to ‘Uprising’. A masterpiece with Dave Gahn's deep voice, lyrics by Martin Gore and a perfect balance of synths and guitars. -S

DEUS Worst Case Scenario (1994) Matthew used to listen to Belgian bands such as Soulwax and Evil Superstars, and this experimental band from Antwerp was one of them. There are glimpses of avant-garde jazz and Frank Zappa influences, as well as brainy hardcore parts and mellow, poetic elements. Twin vocals are also an attraction!!! -S

DINOSAUR JR Where You Been (1993) Fifth album in total. This is the record behind the scenes that comes closest to the ‘subversive lyricism’ of Neil Young. The key point is the fusion of thundering guitars that mix hard rock and punk with pastoral folk-inspired breakneck melodies. The weepy ‘Get Me’ is one of the best songs of their career, and it tears my heart out every time I listen to it." -K

ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN Porcupine (1983) The third album by a band from Liverpool, UK, who led the New Wave/neo-psychedelic scene in the 1980s. Their mellow fourth album ‘Ocean Rain’, which introduced a lot of graceful orchestral music, became a revival boom in the late 2000s, but here we have a brilliant sound world with melancholy and shadow, sometimes sharp, sometimes ethereal, with guitars that cut through. -I

EMERSON, LAKE & PALMER Pictures At An Exhibition (1972) Recently, it has become well-known as the background music for the TV show "What's This? A Hundred Strange Scenes? (Nanikore Chin Hyakkei (ナニコレ珍百景))" (laughs) This is a classic prog-rock interpretation of a famous classical song that everyone has heard at least once. In addition to the fusion of tradition and innovation, the band shares with Muse the big-scale orientation of the soundscape and the fact that they are in fact a live band. -M

ENNIO MORRICONE Nuovo Cinema Paradiso: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (1989) An undisputed master of 20th century film music. He has produced many soundtracks for masterpieces that have left their mark on film history, and this one in particular is so perfect in its theme tune that it is no exaggeration to say that the music made it a masterpiece. It seems that Muse learned a lot from him in terms of ‘dramaturgy of sound’. -M

[iamthecomet]

AHHHHHH!!!!

COMET!!!!

I just woke up and saw your post!!! We need to hear all about the shirt! The interaction! The guitar pick! We need to see photos if you took any too!

You are so lucky!!!! I'm so glad that you had a good time and you got to go to TWO in a row! So fucking fabulous!!!!

Mine ritual is on Friday and I cannot wait!

This post and all of it's ridiculous extra exclamation points brought to you by the Gremlin.

GREMLIN. Photos/videos coming soon. I just put them all on my computer so I can actually look through them and pick out the good ones. But THE SHIRT. OK. Just for clarity, I'm referring to him as Sodo here, because this entire interaction was very much an interaction I had with The Man and not The Ghoul and I cannot bring myself to refer to him as Dewdrop in this particular scenario. But I'm not mentioning anything else related to unmasked Dew, except for that nickname that everyone else already knows. So, I've been joking around with my partner and a few other people for MONTHS about making a shirt that said "Sodo" on it because A) I adore him for many many reasons (not just Ghost). and B) what if he SAW IT!? What would he do!? So, like a week before my rituals I went to the craft store, found out that the stuff needed to make said shirt would be like...10 dollars, and said "fuck it." I was super nervous about it, convinced he was going to see it and think I was CREEPY or weird or some shit, but several people (including YOU) managed to convince me that it was going to be fine and he would not think that. And he might even appreciate it. So I made it, wore it to the ritual I had pit for. Ended up with the best barrier spot I could have asked for in that situation. Got my pick a few songs in--before he ever saw the shirt. He threw it at me but it fell short but I still got it! Immediately after the He Is solo, he turned toward us. I'd turned my phone light off because I didn't want to blind him, and my partner had angled his down for the same reason--which meant that it was pointing toward me. And I'm like reaching up to him, singing at him, and then he saw my shirt, fucking stopped short. Fucking lights were in my eyes so I could BARELY see him, but he dragged his finger over his chest to be like "your shirt!?!?" and pointed at me, and I mirrored that and nodded, and probably did something else with my hands, who knows. I don't remember, it's a blur. He nodded and gave me a thumbs up, so I threw him the heart hands and I blew him a kiss , and he blew one back. And then it was over and I just stared after him like "was that real?" It was the sweetest fucking thing and I just stood there in shock when it was over, as the guy next to me nudged me and grinned and gave me double thumbs up. I'm just like slack-jawed looking around like "did that ACTUALLY fucking happen?" Gremlin, I love that man so fucking much. His attention was laser focused on me from the second he saw it until he had to turn and leave to go play. And it just felt...genuine? like I had a sign language conversation with him and we were both genuinely happy about it. I'm getting fucking weepy thinking about it again. Like how am I allowed to love him more than I already did? HOW? There is no way for him to know how much those like 10 seconds meant to me. But I really hope that they meant something to him too, even if just for a moment. I feel so fucking privileged to be able to have this interaction, that the stars aligned so he actually saw the shirt. That he paused and made a point to acknowledge it, to appreciate it. To see me. It was really fucking special. TLDR: Dew/Sodo knows I love him. And that I exist. And I am a little unwell about it, and will never recover and I really don't want to.

Also, if anyone happens to have a clip of the end of He Is from the CT show where you can actually see this happen, I will love you for fucking EVER.

[siffussy]

Somewhere in an alternate universe. No I'm kidding LOL

ISA'S TURN TO BE PREGNANT. HERE'S MY HEADCANONS.

Isabeau is absolutely bawling when the pregnancy test turns up positive. Siffrin rushes in like "what's going on, are you okay?" and Isabeau just shakily holds up the test, says "....I'm growing proof of our love" all weepy. Siffrin cries too, and for the next thirty minutes they're holding each other, sobbing. 2. Isabeau wants to tell the whole world. he's really tempted to shout it from the rooftops. Siffrin stops him because...that's obviously a falling hazard. Siffrin says "here i'll get you a megaphone just NO SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS, STARS." 3. Siffrin buys Isabeau a cheap, crappy, small megaphone as a joke. and Isabeau uses it. One day over breakfast (everybody lives together), he just announces he's pregnant. Odile chokes on her tea, Mirabelle gasps dramatically, Siffrin pretends to be shocked, Bonnie's like "WAAAAH????" 4. Bonnie feels Isabeau's belly, but he's not that far along yet. Isabeau says "you're gonna be a big sibling! Isn't that great??". Bonnie nods, Isabeau lifts them up, and tells them they're on cravings duty. Bonnie takes this duty with great honor. 5. With Isabeau's job as a fashion designer..well..it's gonna be trickier to do, the further he progresses. So...every so often, everybody takes turns being his assistant for a day. Isabeau is NOT ALLOWED to work late into the night. 6. Everyone, especially Siffrin, gets super super SUPER protective of Isabeau. Isabeau gets pretty tired of it, and to show everyone he's still strong and reliable, he ends up punching a hole in the wall. "See? I can still smash. You guys don't need to fuss over me like this." 7. I imagine Isabeau gets HUGE. The whole family is wondering just how many kids are in there. Siffrin is nervous at the possibility of more than one child to raise. Odile jokes that Isabeau's incubating a litter of puppies. 8. As another joke, Isabeau puts on a maternity dress over the top of his regular outfit. Siffrin tells him he looks ridiculous, to which Isabeau retorts "you're ridiculous" and twirls away like a ballerina. 9. the very day that movement is detected. the world stops. Isabeau shouts "EVERYONE COME FEEL MY BABY HOLY SHIT!!!" And everybody gathers to do so, Siffrin is once again getting weepy, but this time so are Mirabelle...and Odile. 10. Siffrin sings a song every night to the developing fetus(es?), it's a song nobody can really make out the words of, but Siffrin says it's a song he remembers hearing a very, very long time ago.

[margindoodles2407]

Margin's Zelda Playlists

I am reposting this because I've added like. 50 new songs and deleted at least 10. Call this the ship of theseus i guess

Anyway, these are each their own separate playlist but I have them all on one playlist to save room. :) Enjoy! And if you have any songs that remind YOU of a specific game let me know- I'd love to listen to them, especially if they're related to one of the games with only a few songs on the playlist! All of these songs can be found on Youtube; not sure if you can find them all on Spotify or Apple Music though :(

The Legend of Zelda (the series; also my Pre-Skord Playlist)

Gate of Time/Zelda's Lullaby by HyruleOrchestra

Ballad of the Lonely by trashyinferno

Rule #15: Four Aces by Fish in a Birdcage [EXPLICIT]

This Tragedy of Mine by Knight of Endale

They're Only Human from Death Note: the Musical

Nothing Changes from Hadestown: the Musical

I Lived by OneRepublic

The Call by Regina Spektor

No One Lives Forever by Oingo Boingo

Skyward Sword

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

When You're Evil by Voltaire (it's a ghirahim mood)

Bruno is Orange by Hop Along

Curses by The Crane Wives

Anchorage by Marian Call

It's Alright by Mother Mother

Ophelia by The Lumineers

Icarus by Bastille

Something I Need by OneRepublic

Minish Cap

Dandelions covered by Bet

All the Small Things by Blink 182 (don't ask me why)

Flowers in my Hair by Wes Reeves

Four Swords

Open Up Your Eyes covered by Daniel Ingram

The Friend You Need from My Little Pony: the Movie (please ignore that these are both from mlp the movie okay. first of all i unironically enjoy mlp and secondly they remind me of shadow)

Ocarina of Time

The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel

Treehouse covered by Eric D

Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons [EXPLICIT]

Small Hands by Keaton Henson

King by Lauren Aquilina

You Don't Get to Know Her Anymore by Pedals on Our Pirate Ships

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths [EXPLICIT]

Emperor's New Clothes by Panic! at the Disco

Providence by Poor Man's Poison

You Turn the Screws by CAKE

Good Night, Demon Slayer by Voltaire

Go the Distance covered by BYU Vocal Point

River from the Sky by The Weepies

Time/Space by Alex G

Keep You Safe by The Crane Wives

Majora's Mask

Turn the Lights Off by Tally Hall

Twin-Sized Mattress by The Front Bottoms [EXPLICIT]

Home by Cavetown

Best Friend by AJJ

Rule #9: Child of the Stars by Fish in a Birdcage

Slow Down by Poor Man's Poison

Listen When You Miss Me by Naethan Apollo

Twilight Princess

Be Nice to Me by The Front Bottoms (the lyrics aren't EXPLICIT but someone does drop an f-bomb in a spoken background track)

Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show

Hell's Coming With Me by Poor Man's Poison

Arsonist's Lullaby by Hozier

Sundown and Sorrow by Hank Williams

Hermit the Frog by MARINA [EXPLICIT]

Shadows and Regrets by Yellowcard

When the Wolf Meets the Moon by Confused Crow

Drinking Song by Haley Heyndrickx

Wind Waker

Rule #23: Birds of a Feather by Fish in a Birdcage

Joli Rouge by The Dreadnoughts

Kokomo by the Beach Boys

"That's got to be the best pirate I've ever seen" from Pirates of the Caribbean (yes. the meme. not "He's a Pirate" the song, i specifically mean the meme.)

Rule #28: Sand by Fish in a Birdcage

Stand By You by Rachel Platten

If We Have Each Other by Alec Benjamin

Abandon Ship by Fin Argus

Welly Boots by The Amazing Devil [EXPLICIT]

Captain's Call by Derivakat

Leave Her Johnny by The Longest Johns

Phantom Hourglass

The Flying Dutchman by The Jolly Rogers (i am sorry that the playlist is only 1 song long :'{ )

Spirit Tracks

Stickshifts and Safety Belts by CAKE

Opening Up from Waitress: The Musical [EXPLICIT]

Ghost Grinder by Steam Powered Giraffe

A Link to the Past

Ghosting by Mother Mother

Welcome Home Son by Radical Face (PLEASE give me recommendations i need more songs for my beloved :'{ )

Link's Awakening

Dream Sweet in Sea Major by Miracle Musical

Hidden in the Sand by Tally Hall

Mary by Alex G (there is a clean version please look it up)

Dream a Little Dream of Me by The Mamas and the Papas

Bones in the Ocean by The Longest Johns

Oracle of Ages/Seasons

Shadow Stalker by Mercedes Lackey (again PLEASE i need song recs)

A Link Between Worlds

Mona Lisa by Mxmtoon

Banana Bread by Sarah Maddack

Tri Force Heroes

Fashion by Lady Gaga

Puttin' On the Ritz by Taco

The Hyrule Fantasy

Rule #33: Pyre by Fish in a Birdcage

Fairytale by Alexander Ryback

Parables and Primes by Danny Schmidt

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

Snow by Ricky Montgomery

Seven by Sleeping at Last

Hyrule Warriors

Villains Aren't Born (They're Made) by PEGGY

The Red Means I Love You by Madds Buckley

OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH CIA MOVING ON

I'll Make a Man Out of You from Disney's Mulan

She's Kerosene by The Interrupters

Ain't No Crying by Derivakat

Burned Out by Dodie (@unclemoriarty I blame you for this one :] )

That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil [EXPLICIT]

Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil

Battle Cries by The Amazing Devil

The Fall by Half Alive

Choke by I Don't Know How But They Found Me

Blossoms by The Amazing Devil

Breath of the Wild

House of Memories by Panic! at the Disco

Amnesia Was Her Name by Lemon Demon

The Distance by CAKE

The Cost of the Crown by Mercedes Lackey

The Mute by Radical Face

A Moment Forever Ago from Central Park

Waiting on a Miracle from Disney's Encanto

Rule #31: Calamity by Fish in a Birdcage

Frank Sinatra by CAKE

Seventeen by MARINA [EXPLICIT]

The Family Jewels by MARINA

Expert in a Dying Field by The Beths

Everglow covered by Remedy A Capella

Stella by Cereus Bright

She covered by Rob Wilson

The Horror and the Wild

Tears of the Kingdom

Rule #29: Throne Room by Fish in a Birdcage

Rule #15: Waterfall by Fish in a Birdcage

Pompeii MMXXIII by Bastille

@whyoneartheven

[excelsior9173]

🎧🩵🩵🩵

my dearest fox

i had to shuffle a couple times because the first song that came up was porn star dancing and i can’t stop laughing lmao. i do not have fave lyrics from that it’s just a vibe.

so instead you get endlessly!

this bridge makes me weepy every time. like it’s such a beautiful declaration of love i think. like telling someone they’re yours and you’re not leaving them no matter what