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thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch · 1 year ago

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Dragonfly

zhongli/f.reader

genre: morax/zhongi, immortal!cursed!reader, miko/shrinemaiden!reader, angst, hurt/comfort(?), slow burn, reunion, traveler is NOT y/n, implied xiao/traveler,

warning(s)!!: mentions of: death/repetitive deaths, war, past suicides, the suffering of immortality in a mortal body, for the sake of this fic dragonflies are semi-common in teyvat/liyue lol, xiao considers zhongli/reader parental figures, things will definitely not follow canon timelines, Xiao is a frequent/important character, characters may be ooc (im sorry)

w.count: 15.6k (i am so sorry)

SYNOPSIS: fate and time are cruel kings ruling over even gods. morax is no exception. the only human he ever fell in love with was twisted by fate to battle him in a brewing war. the image of the burning temple that she resided in rested behind his eyelids and not a day goes by that he does not still mourn and yearn. time had cruelly taken you away from him. or... had it?

“Hello Traveler!” The soft yet chipper voice of the ever-pranking funeral director calls out from behind the blond Outworlder. The day in Liyue was still young and bright as the umber-clad young lady walks up to both them and Paimon who had floated herself bouncily from the Traveler’s right shoulder to the left.

“Oh,” Paimon begrudgingly acknowledges, form bobbing in the air comfortably. “It's Hu Tao.”

“Paimon,” Traveler scolds, crossing their arms over their chest. Paimon just sighs as the blond looks to the funeral director who had come close enough for conversion and unfolds their arms, bringing them down to their sides relaxingly. “Good to see you, Hu Tao,” they greet with a small nod.

“Indeed,” Hu Tao nods back, closing her eyes briefly in glee before reopening them. “It is lovely to see you. Are you here to visit Liyue? Or, perhaps another pressing matter brought you back to this nation once again.”

“It’s nothing drastic,” Traveler dismisses. “We just.... had some time on our hands. So, we’re just visiting.” Partially, that was the truth. However, the full truth was that there was most definitely something the pair could be doing instead of wandering around Liyue. But it was important to take time for yourself sometimes, right?

“Well, feel free to stop by the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor if you’re interested! I’d be happy to host the both of you for a meal.”

“You mean, Zhongli would host us?” Paimon quips up knowing that, as Hu Tao’s consultant, Zhongli’s job descriptions can vary in terms of tasks. However, when Paimon spoke Hu Tao lifted her arms up towards herself. One wrapped around her chest and rested the elbow of her other, resting her curled fingers against her chin in thought.

“Perhaps, not this time. Zhongli has had something on his mind these days.” The woman brought her curled hand and arms back down, now gesturing them softly in front of her as she spoke more. “It would feel distasteful to ask him to host guests at the moment.”

The mention of Zhongli being mentally occupied made the Traveler and Paimon look at each other. They were privy to a lot of information the consultant kept tucked away from public knowledge- for good reason. The staged death of Morax for one. Although Hu Tao had once speculated that Zhongli could possibly be an Adeptus, she surely didn’t know that she wasn’t exactly far off from a bullseye.

Still, the fact that Zhongli, the former Lord of Geo, was distracted so much that Hu Tao had essentially dismissed him of some of his duties was a concerning thought. He never seemed the type to dwell so much on something that it obstructed his work.

“I’ve tried asking him about it before,” Hu Tao continues, “since he gets like this around the same time every year. All he’s ever spoken to me about it is that someone he knew from his past had died around this time. It felt… wrong to pry into his past more for some reason.” It wasn’t an odd statement coming from her. She often took her work very seriously, even if she herself was a spitfire of a young lady.

“Someone from his past died?” Paimon asked, already knowing about his past with the Adepti and The Seven. Perhaps, it had something to do with them? Either way, the concern was planted in the Traveler’s chest, so it felt only natural to find the ex-Archon and try and get some answers out of him. Maybe, since the pair had already known about his identity it would be easier to talk about. Or, that was the hope at least.

Hu Tao and the Traveler spoke briefly for a moment longer with the usual snarky comment from Paimon before going their separate ways. Hu Tao had apparently been on her way out to fulfil a clients few specific requests and her stop for a chat was pushing to make her behind on her work. Paimon didn’t mind if she went on her way sooner rather than later, the dealing with the dead had always been creepy to the floating companion.

Regardless, Hu Tao was a nice lady. Traveler would make sure to stop by and see her more, maybe indulge her hobby of poetry a bit.

The two had walked around the busy streets of Liyue for a while trying to find Zhongli. He wasn’t at the funeral parlor, much to their dismay at making it an easy search, so they just starting wandering hoping to catch him somewhere along the way. Soon enough, they had wandered just far enough to catch a glimpse of his long brown tailcoat at Liyue Harbor.

In retrospect, they should have started their search here if the funeral parlor was a bust.

Zhonglig stood with his hands tucked neatly into each other behind his back, shoulders slack as he looked out over the landscape. He was basking in the solitude at the top arch of the harbor’s bridge when he hear the approaching sounds of footsteps. Turning his chin, he unclasped his hands and let his arms fall from his back before turning to greet the approaching Traveler.

“Ah,” his deep voice reverberates and only the closest to him can detect the faux sound of a choked strain in it. “Greetings, Traveler.”

“Hello, Zhongli!” Paimon greets floating just a fraction ahead of Traveler. “What were you doing?” She already begins to pry with a suspiciously high-strained voice. It just makes Traveler silently sigh and shake their head. She really needed to work on being more conspicuous.

It’s quiet for a moment before Zhongli already catches on. Perhaps he can be a bit dense about certain aspects of the mortal realm, but he was by no means a fool. A smile finds its way on his lips in a moment of mild amusement at Paimon’s grace, or rather lack thereof.

“I was merely lost in thought. Reminiscing about the past, you could say.”

“The past?” She pressed again.

“Paimon,” the Traveler hisses for the second time that day. The floating girl just opened her jaw in mock offense before floating closer to them.

“What? What did Paimon say now!”

Zhongli’s low chuckle was a soft tune that at least showed he wasn’t offended by the blatant attempt at coaxing his thoughts out of his lips.

“Did the Director send you to find me perhaps?” The fact that he was trying to slowly steer the conversation away wasn’t lost to the Traveler. Paimon and them both looked back to Zhongli shaking their heads.

“Not exactly,” Traveler starts.

“We did run into her though,” Paimon tacks on. “She told us you had been down in the dumps, so we came to check on you!” Paimon’s small hands came to her hips and her chest puffed out as if proud of her actions of checking in with a friend.

Zhongli chuckles once again at the way Traveler places their hands on their hips as well,. Though, they were instead sending a playful scowl at the back of Paimon’s head.

“It is quite refreshing to see the two of you bicker,” he chides. “It certainly helps in easing the mind.” Once more, the two’s attention was drawn back to the former god.

“So,” Traveler starts before Paimon could interject with something else, “there is something on your mind?” There was a growing fit of silence between the group of three, no one speaking in fear of shattering something they couldn’t exactly describe. Zhongli seemingly caved with a minuscule sigh kept more to himself than the harbor’s breeze.

“The assumption that I’ve been a bit… preoccupied is correct. Lately, it seems I cannot focus on certain tasks for too long. My mind has a bit of a tendency to wander around this time of year.” Zhongli can already see the look of curiously mixed with concern written into the eyes of both Paimon and Traveler. His own eyes flick around the bridge and beyond the harbor’s main port before returning back to his visitors. “If you’re very interested to know, then I would not mind trying to explain it all over some tea. Though, it would be best if we took the topic of conversation elsewhere.”

The sudden shift in his demeanor was almost palpable. It was like a cloak of grey mist started to waft around his very being at the mention of speaking his mind. Now that the two outsiders got the confirmation that whatever it was that was plaguing him was of the past he doesn’t let others know of, they were ready for a lengthy story.

Zhongli had graciously invited the Traveler and Paimon to his personal abode, a place they had never even set eyes on. Of course, they knew he had to have had a place to stay and sleep, but for some reason it felt like all he ever did was walk around Liyue, do his work at the funeral parlor, or listen to stories at the Third-Round Knockout. It shouldn’t have been a shock to know he had his own home, but all the same, it was.

It was simplistic inside, with the shelves being the only things of high value because of all the collected items he had bought and stored on them. Gesturing them both to a set of chairs between a table, he began brewing tea to serve as promised.

Traveler sat awkwardly at first. Shuffling around in their chair while Paimon floated around the open space of the house being nosier than she should’ve been truthfully. Still, Zhongli didn’t say anything about her snooping so she continued to do so until the homeowner returned with a tray in his hands.

A decorative teapot sat in the middle of the dark, wooden tray atop a plain towel; the steam of the hot, freshly brewed tea wisped out gracefully from its spout. Beside it were three small teacups placed upside down that clattered with the smallest sounds of finely made clay as he set the tray in the center of the table. Along with them was a small dish of cubes of sugar and a small creamer that held milk inside it.

Zhongli skillfully took the teacups and flipped them over, setting them all upright and easily pouring the exact same amount of tea into each. The brew was dark and the steam wafted around the tabletop before dissipating into the air only to be replaced immediately with more. He slid two cups toward Traveler and the other to Paimon once she stopped her floating around and settled once again as the third member of the current party. He offered the milk and sugar to the two of them as well.

“I prefer my tea black, but please help yourselves.” Zhongli settled into his own seat easily. One arm resting on the arm of his perch and the other on the table top to curl his fingers around the cup he had prepared for himself. His legs crossed out of habit and it was then that the Traveler realized he had taken off his tailcoat. It was purely out of habit to take it off when he had arrived to the privacy of his own home, and he didn’t even realize it himself- not that it mattered. It was simply a different look than they were used to.

Paimon began dropping sugar cubes into her cup a bit too clumsily as small droplets splashed on her hand from the objects breaching the liquid causing her to yelp. In turn, the two seated companions offered her chuckles of amusement as she blew on her hand. Of course, it was hardly an injury- it was more a fright than a burn.

“It’s hot,” Zhongli chided.

“Gee, you think!” She then started dropping in cube after cube much more delicately. Or, rather she would drop them from the same height as before but immediately fly away when she let go so the upcoming splash wouldn’t touch her again. The Traveler made their own additions to their tea as well, but much less messily.

The three settle into a comfortable silence filled with small sips of tea and clicks of returning cup to wooden table top. That is, until Zhongli broke it by placing a small wooden box on the table in front of him to join in with the teatray and it’s accessories.

It was an elegant box the size of his fist. Golden edges wrapped in angular designs and a locked latch in the front of it. On the top of the lid was the symbol of a Geo Vision. At first, the two travelers thought that maybe this box is what he stored his fake Vision in when it wasn’t on his person. Pulling a small key from under his long-collared shirt, he unlocked the box and opened the lid. From where the Traveler sat with the lid facing them, they still couldn’t get a peek inside.

The last thing they expected Zhongli to pull out of the cushioned, plush lined box was a hair ornament.

Modeled in the shape of a dragonfly, the piece was carefully handled by the ex-archon and placed so very delicately on the table. The wings of the dragon fly were filled with a crystal that shone green and teal, the colors shifting with the light and angle as which it was gazed upon. The piece itself was designed as a hairstick, acting as an elegant means to pen up locks of hair- the metal rod of the stick seemed well suited for such a job. Matching teal-green crystal beads hung from the bottom tips of each wing as decorative tails.

It was a beautiful piece to gaze at.

Zhongli kept his hand on the table right next to it, his fingertips just a breath away from touching it again. When Paimon got a bit too close while gazing at it, Traveler could see the slightest twitch run through his fingers. As if the ex-Archon was anxious about Paimon getting too close to it. Still, to not be rude he said nothing as she continued to narrowing gawk.

“Paimon, back up a little,” Traveler said, sitting forward a bit to try and act like they were trying to get a better look while simultaneously trying to get Paimon to back off a bit. When Paimon floated back to her place by her teacup, Zhongli’s shoulders loosened like he was relieved at the distance between the reckless floating fairy and this clearly important item.

“You were curious on what has been on my mind, yes? This is a one reason I’ve been rather… absent as of late.”

“You’ve been spacing out over a hairstick?” Paimon asked astonishingly. Zhongli shook his head.

“Not quite.” His fingers uncurled and genly brushed over one of the beaded tails, letting the crystals bump over his fingertips. His eyes softened, yet that cloak of grey melancholy came back to him. “It’s more about who this was going to belong to.”

Traveler and Paimon both had questions, but remained silent. They both settled into their respective places ready to listen to the story he was surely about to unweave. They knew that the tea would grow cold and kettle drank empty by the time it was all finished. Though, the look in his eyes and the way his voice grew softer in a way that pulled at the heart made the eternity of sitting in one place much easier to bare.

“This ornament was going to be a gift to someone I knew a very long time ago. I never had the chance to give it too her, however; so, I keep it here with me where it is safe. I cannot bare to throw it out, even after all this time.”

It seemed crazy, how the two swore his eyes had grown misty just saying those few sentences. How this story is going to start all because of a crystal dragonfly from millenia past.

There were many places that had been tainted and driven to ruin due to the war raging by the Archons. Gods were battling each other for power, others trying to flee from another’s unjustly wrath. Some even tried defending their people instead of taking place in battles or retreating. It was chaos and there were few corners of the old world of Teyvat that wasn’t splattered in a thick muck of bloodshed.

Still, that didn’t mean everywhere had been tainted. No. This fact rang true as Morax had discovered one fateful day a small territory cleansed of blood and impurity.

Hidden behind a barrier he had stumbled upon in the middle of a half dead forest, the invisible viel hid everything beyond it from sight. In fact, if he hadn’t happened to be near it, the Archon probably wouldn't have noticed it in the first place. The barrier itself easily gave and allowed him passage inside which led him to believe it was more of a mask than a shield.

Walking through it led him to a forest of lush floral and trees that thrived surrounding a small section of land that housed no more than 500 people perhaps. A small village with huts scattered around plots of farmland and a rather luxurious palace atop it all. It was a farcry from the near-deathly state of the outside world and the whiplash of it made him momentarily wonder if he was somehow succumbing to some sort of hallucination.

Morax walked through the dirt paths all the way until the thick wall that cut off the eastern styled palace from the rest of the people. Walls tall and made of a stone the God of Geo had to have created at somepoint. The craftsmanshift of it was marvelous he had to admit as there was not the slightest crack between the stacked stone. Easily vaulting himself onto the tall wall, he gazes beyond it’s perimeter.

Inside of the sturdy walls, he could see six different buildings. Along the two side walls of stone stood two houses each. Two west and two east, separate yet built so similar he could easily mistake the four as clones of each other if not for his experienced eyes that had seen such fine details over his life. Connecting these four abodes from west to east were grey, stone paths. The same cobblestone led beyond the front gate he had forwent as he perched atop the wall and led straight forward to a single building that was larger than the rest. Morax assumed that was the main estate just from the grandeur of it compared to the lacking other four.

Though, the final building is harder for the curious immortal to see. It was built directly behind the main estate, no doubt also connected with the same clean stone paths that weaved through the courtyards. All Morax could see of this building was it’s roof, the same tiled and burned color as the high status homes around it.

Morax straightened his body from it’s crouched position and began to gracefully walk along the stone wall. Getting new angles of the buildings inside, he soon grew close enough to the main estate that he easily lept to it’s roof. Landing as if the air lessened his weight, he could now view that one single building he hadn’t yet more clearly.

Immediately, the Archon recognized it as a temple that without a doubt housed priests and priestess alike. Some may be masters at their craft and others may be but small, inexperienced fledgings beyond those sacred walls.

The idea of a temple like that in an uncharted and untainted territory flared his curiosity. So much so, he was hardly in control of his instincts as he once more lept gracefully from the estate’s rooftop onto the stone paths. His barefeet made a sound of collision when his heels touched the man-made path, and continued to make the same shuffling sounds as he walked straight into the temple.

Morax did not run into a single person in the temple, though he could hear matras and practices from around different open training fields. Even the soft plunks of arrows being driven into targets for archery precision and the chiming of bells for cleansing. The open halls of the temple and the roof over his head that kept the sun’s heated glare from his figure felt comforting.

Being in a place so filled with peace and sounds of anything but war was outlandish to the otherwise warrior-type god. Morax had contracts to fulfill and his own principals to protect while fending off other gods trying to level his unnamed throne. Taking out a few of his own violation never did any harm to strengthen his gag between himself and others.

The god had walked so freely that he soon found himself under the sun again. Instead of in the open halls of marble floors and burgundy columns, Morax was standing amidst a field of wild grass, flowers, trees, and bushes. It was like the lush forest outside the stone perimeter allowed a single bit of it’s ecosystem inside the temple just for the mortals to bask in.

A small humming of wings quickly caught Morax’s attention amidst the sounds of the wind’s breeze and dancing leaves. His chin led his head in the direction before coming to see a small dragonfly hovering around him before landing on his shoulder. The view of the insect was neary cut off by the hood he always wore over his head, but the bug itself was peaceful just resting it’s wings on the god’s shoulder for respite.

For a moment, the warrior of countless battles felt relief. For just that moment, the weight of such responsibility with his temperament lifted all because a small insect decided to rest on him.

The dragonfly’s respite did not last. The little critter’s wings began to hum again and soon began to hover off and before Morax could stop his feet, he found himself following it. Bare feet stepping over well worn paths of flattened grass and dirt patches. Not long from where had previously stood, he stopped at seeing where the small insect had flown to in lieu of himself.

The eyes of the archon landed on the first person Morax had seen since entering this temple- although uninvited, presence unknown and undetected. Reaching out a delicate hand with her index finger extended, the dragonfly landed easily on the appendage.

A priestess knelt elegantly in the tall grass, previously inspecting herbs when she heard the familiar buzz of wings. The hakama pants that folded at her legs were neatly pleaded without a crease out of place and her kosode tucked perfectly into the trousers- not a wrinkle to critque. Her hair had been loosing tied back with a red hair ribbon that fluttered in the breeze that kept the tall grass swaying like waves of spring.

The wind picked up when the dragonfly lifted off her fingers and off back towards Morax. It was like the little creature had led him straight to her and was now directing her vision back so they could meet each other’s gaze.

It was all thanks to that one, small bug that Morax and first made eye contact with you.

“Oh,” your small voice of surprise- at seeing such an odd looking man in the overgrown, private gardens of the temple- carried on the same wind that the dragonfly danced in. You stood and dusted off your knees, knocking any sticking dirt off your bottoms before standing up properly. You inspected the man in front of you.

Arms dark as earth with cracks of glowing gold. Clad in a white cloak that split five ways down and encompassed with a golden belt at his waist with a hood pulled over his head. The hair you could see whipping lightly in the wind behind his back was dark in color matching his arms. His trousers were wide open and baggy around his legs, only encasing snuggly around his ankles. His impressive stature gained your attention easily and you could tell he wasn’t exactly something mortal. It would be ridiculous to think just at the sight of his arms alone, not to mention the air around him seemed so… powerful.

“My apologies, I wasn’t aware we were expecting a guest today,” the courteous smile you sent him made him wonder if you weren’t at least a little apprehensive of his unexpected presence.

“You weren’t made aware because no one aside from yourself is aware of my being here.”

“I see,” you muse. “I hope you are aware that qualifies you as a trespasser.”

“Trespasser?” Morax gapped, losing his composure for a moment. His brows dipped in offense under his hood, his pride kicking into his throat through his words. “I am no such being.”

“Ah, but aren’t you just? You said yourself, no one knows you’re here. Yet, you end up in the presence of this temple’s Miko. If that does not mean you’re trespassing, what does?” Morax’s eyes hidden under his hair and flick from your head to your feet and back up again. You were the head shrine maiden? You seemed so young and yet you held such an important position? It planted a pebble of doubt in him.

Then again, if he focused on you properly, he could barely see a small circular arua around your frame. It was like a barrier was placed around you, one protected you from the outside and anything that could taint you. Exactly like the barrier surrounding the territory he had more or less invaded. Honing your spiritual power like that so young, he would’ve perhaps tutted in impressiveness if you hadn’t challenged his very being moments ago.

Still, Miko or not, he still outranked you. Crossing his arms over his chest, their golden geo pulsed with a soft light.

“With such a rank you possess, are you still so unaware when a God stands before you? A pity.”

“On the contrary,” you smile to him and his brow again twitches at your nonchalance. “I’m being quite respectful if you think on it. If you were simply a noble who lives among the palace homes, I would’ve quickly dealt with you since only a select few from outside are allowed entry into the temple. Much less this garden which is private and limited to my attendance only.”

“Are you implying you could force me away at any moment should you please?” His voice grew tight in challenge. His sense of traquilty from before discovering you was dimming and the frigid air of his battle sense were returning even as the wind continued to caress you both.

“I assure you I would do no such thing. I’m simply proving that even in the presence of a God, I will not yield since I do not even know which is in front of me. Not to mention, this land has no God to speak of or for. So, if you think about it that way, I am where one would hypothetically stand.”

Oh.

Morax felt something stir in his chest at the teasing tilt in your voice that spilled over your lips that curled into a smile. Your eyes were so clean and clear, it was like staring into crystals and he had the urge to create a new form of geo just to replicate them. The feeling was foreign to him, but it shocked him greatly when he realized it wasn’t an unwelcome stir.

He finally dropped his crossed arms and began to decrease the distance between you both. Morax came to stand in front of you so he could get an even better look at your features. As such, you could now look easily under his hood as he stood above you. His eyes seemed to glow a lovely shade of amber that complemented his glowing, golden skin and dark hair.

“Address me as, Morax,” he instructed. Your taunting smile turned soft and wide as your eyes closed in the most pleased expression he had seen in years. His amber eyes widened at the innocence and the small bells of laughter that left your throat towards him shook his unshakeable core.

“That’s much better,” you said, now obviously pleased. “I’m, y/n. It’s an honor to meet you, Morax.”

It was his name rolling off your tongue- spreading into the wind that had blown harshly for but a moment- that sent an earthquake that started at his chest and spread through his whole body. It was the sound of his own death sentence and he was once again shocked at how he easily accepted that he would definitely be back to this temple. Be back to this garden of overgrown grass and floral.

Morax would definitely be back to you.

As promised, Morax had been back to that temple several times since the first time he met you. When the weight of the archon war was- ironically- too heavy, or if he needed a place to escape just for a moment he would seek you out. It was quiet ridiculous how you had somehow wormed your way into his very soul and wrapped him around your finger.

The Lord of Geo had come to learn much about you in the time he spent by your side. Your favorite flowers and scents, when you had started your priestess training, when you had progressed to the skill level you possess now and how long you had been the acting miko of the temple. Your favorite type of weather, or time of day, or season. In turn, he had confessed things about himself as well.

How he had been around for as long as the world- or so it sometimes felt that way. How he’s in the middle of a grand and merciless war with other gods presumably because of issues to do with celestia. How he had taken many lives of both mortals and gods alike all for the sake of his own land and people. The very feeling of battle is engraved in his bones like names on a tombstone, yet it didn’t seem to push you away.

It was laughable. The very Being of war and battle was utterly infautated with you, a mortal being of purity and values. Of course, you were alway assure him that what he did was just his own values, especially his strictness with any contract he made. You neved judged him for his sins and the weight they carried, but you never outwardly agreed with him either. You told him what he needed to hear, not what he wanted and he cherished those words so dearly. If he had any less self-restraint, Morax could easily let himself take your very words as law itself.

Yet again, it was another day he had left his duties behind him as he found you kneeling in the fields of grass once again. Leaping from the outerwalls, to the rooftops of the estate, to the roof of the temple, he easily lands like a pebble hitting sand next to you. It was the rush of air beside you that alerted you of his attendance rather than any sound he made- or didn’t make.

“Hello again, Morax,” you greet as you thumb through the herbs and check the petals of nearby wildflowers. Morax kneels at your side before sitting fully in the grass, one of his knees bent up to prop his arm on with the other stretched out in front of him. A rather relaxed position you had insisted he use instead of kneeling for however long he visits would last.

“Good afternoon,” he replies. It’s silent for a while after that. The atmosphere of simply being with you was good enough for Morax. That was until the urge to speak and hear you speak in return hit his throat. “Your people seem more rowdy than usual.” He didn’t need super-enhanced senses to tell that the noise had increased since his last visit.

“You can tell that even though you’ve never properly been inside?”

“I have been inside.”

“No one knew that thought,” you tease with a finger that flicked back and forth a few times. “So, it isn’t a proper stroll in my temple.” Morax playfully chuckles at your antics. “You are correct though.”

“Is there a reason?” He had noticed it since he arrived, but the air around you seemed heavy. “Something seems to be weighing on you.”

“You’re perceptive. I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked about that considering-”

“Y/n.”

You sigh before the hand that had been thumbing at flower petals falls back into the tresses of wild grass and to the ground at your side.

“The monks are gathering in a rush under Master Jiang’s orders.” Morax’s brow furrows at the information. You had mentioned this Master Jiang before. He was apparently a traveling monk that had previously been nomadic. Though, since the archon war had only gotten worse over the course of time, he had settled in the safety of your barrier and subsequently in your temple.

On the rare occasions you let your irritations get the best of you, you spilled your guts to Morax about how he was constantly chanllenging your power and position in the temple. Thinking he was better because he was older with more experience beyond the protective walls of your home. Along with the misguided misogyny of being a man. It was one thing after another, spouting off about anything that irked you until you got all your curses off your lips in the privacy of the archon.

Morax had not met this Jiang- not to mention anyone else outside of you inside the temple sense his visits weren’t exactly documented- but he already strongly disliked him. Now, he was trying to taking charge of your temple?

“For what purpose.” You do no respond to him right away and it sends a jolt through his nervous system. “Y/n. For what purpose,” he repeats with a heavier tone. You let out a sigh that feels as heavy as your aura as you sit in the field of wildgrass and flowers with the closest being to your heart.

“He’s afraid that we’re going to soon be effected by the war as well.” You didn’t need to specify which war, he was more than well aware which you were referring to.

Among the other things he had learned about you, he had come to understand why your people were save from the archon’s destruction so far. It was because of you and your power.

Inside the temple was a specific place for you to practice your skills and keep the barrier around your precious home. That didn’t showcase all you could do, however and Morax knew it. Keeping the living things inside safe and keeping all the taint out. If something did happen to get inside your barrier, you were quickly dispatched to purify it. You could tell the moment something breached your safe haven, all the proof he needed as his first appearance to you.

You had admitted ot him once that the reason you didn’t immediately cast him out was simply because you didn’t feel any hostility from his presence. He had no intention on hurting your people or home, so you allowed him access in. That barrier was an extension of your power; constant proof you were so much stronger than that stupid old monk was trying to plat down.

Morax had only heard the sound of your birch tree bowstring plucked once before, and the air instantly felt cleaner. He’d heard bells in the distant halls while he waited for you in the treetops of your private garden to avoid the chance of being seen. While with you, he had picked up on a masking you placed over him so he couldn’t be detected by others and kept safe from prying eyes. Your power still astonished him even after all this time.

“That’s asinine,” he growled. The whole ordeal of it all just set the message that they didn’t trust you and your abilities. After all you had done since you were a child to protect these people, after everything you’ve sacrificed, and they’re doubting you now? When your powers were in their prime? It was insulting.

“Morax-”

“Do not try and save their value but udnermining your own.”

“I’m not!” You cry in exasperation. You let out another sigh before letting your body lean into his shoulder and against his propped up leg. Morax froze up as your body softly collided with his own. While you had him attached to your very being, hook line and sinker, he had never once touched you. Not a single brush of his fingertips to your body or even allowing your legs to touch as you sat side by side.

The side of his body you rested on felt like a volcano on his geo-ingraved skin.

“Sorry,” you whisper. “Could I stay like this just for a moment longer?”

His arm that you leaned against came to wrap around your shoulder and push your head further against him. The archon lowered his leg to join the other on the ground just so he could have you closer to him. His chin rested by your forehead and he closed his eyes letting you invade every one of his senses. Squeezing your form as he felt the trembles you tried to conceal and force to stay inside, not letting yourself break as much as he wanted you to. Morax wanted you to feel safe and open with him, but he understood all too well how difficult a task that was as someone of your strict upbringing.

“Stay here as long as you need. I will not move.” Morax was geo, the land itself. He created mountains and stone and they all know his name. He was a god of contracts and his words were just as serious as those that he holds so strictly to them. The Lord of Geo would stay your unyielding pillar for as long as you needed him. That he promised to himself as he felt your small drops of tears silently fall onto his chest that he dare not mention. The urge to wipe them away and treasure you like a fragile bell ached within him, but he dare not act on those either.

For but a brief moment, Morax- the Geo Archon- wished for a single second he was mortal. That he was like you.

Morax had no idea how this happened. What had gone wrong? Was it him? Did his sudden intrusion into your life of purity ruin everything? As a god, did his divine hands finally touch something he was never meant to?

Weeks ago you had urgently awaited his normal time of arrival but as soon as he showed, you urgently told him to leave. To leave the temple, the palace, the barrier- all of it- and never come back. You had demanded he return to the world he knew, the one filled with smoke and war and ongoing conquests. His chest filled with thick, black tar as you screamed at him and he did what any sane being would do. Morax screamed back, unable to understand and he was losing his patience bit by bit.

The Archon wanted answers, none of which he demanded for were satisfing. The monks had finally discovered that you had been meeting with an outsider from beyond the barrier; to make matters worse, they knew it was Morax who had been active in the outside war since it begun. They were focring you to make a decision and the best course of action was to push him away before things got too out of hand and would be to a point where you could do nothing.

It made no sense to Morax. He could help, he was certain of it. He’d let you direct him, use him how you like and pull his actions like a puppet on willing strings. He’d follow your every order to the letter if you just wouldn’t force him out and shun him like you were desperately trying to do.

You wouldn’t yield.

Morax hated your stubbornness now more than ever. You finally forced him away with a bracellet you had made yourself that was nothing but clear-ringing, golden bells threaded with red string. The sound they made amplified your power and he knew at just the meresight of them you were trying to make him leave.

With one flick of your wrist, he could feel invisible threads of nothing wrap around his limbs and begin to tug. Once more he tried to reason something- anything- out of you, but was met with nothing but a second ring of bells that yanked his whole being out of your barrier. Forced out and finding himself outside, he was furiously frustated. Summoning his polearm, he let out a cry before thrusting it into and then subsequently through the neearst tree effectively slicing it down.

Your final words to him stay in his ears like a parasite- pounding against his eardrums so violently he was afraid they'd burst if they continued to torment him.

“If you ever return, I will have no choice but to take further actions, Morax.”

Morax had to stay away from you. It’s what you wanted; or maybe it wasn’t your wish- but it’s what you said. What you demanded he do. Still, he didn’t know when this happened. Morax didn’t know when he decided that the last thing he would ever do is stay away.

Therefore, Morax still returned into your barrier and through your territory. Just as you had said, you were true to your words.

The moment you felt his presence trespass inside your barrier, you evacuated the palace and with the same bells you sent him away with, you summoned him back. It was like he was teleported with magic, the same invisble strings that had yanked him out now drew him in. The ringing of your bells reverated in his ears before he was standing in that same overgrown field.

Morax stood in the one spot he first saw you and you took presence in the spot he had found you kneeling. This time, there were no dragonflies humming in the air and something in him knew there never would be again.

“I told you,” you choked.

“I refuse to listen to a moral’s orders,” he bit back. It was a lie. He said he’d listen to your every word, and he meant it. Even when his desperate pleas to stay by you landed him nowhere by alone.

Morax knew there was only one option left as he eyed the staff in your hand. Your grip was so tight around it your hand trembled with the sheer force of it. Your head shook with micro-swivels on your neck as you kept your eyes on the ground.

“You should have.” Morax’s polearm materialized at his side in a moment before he took it’s familiar grip into his palm. He had only ever told you of his weapon, never wanting to show you in case it tainted you somehow. All that silly precaution seemed so pointless now.

The gentle breeze he was accustomed to had become bone chilling as you lifted your chin to finally look at him. Morax almost caved seeing your angry tears, but as you moved to engage in battle, he let his body move on it’s own. The god who was so accustomed to battle just wanted to shut his brain off for this one.

Morax didn’t want to do this.

The battle between you both was a long one. You screamed at each other. Sometimes words, sometimes just sounds of angusih and pain. You knew Morax was holding back on you, you didn’t have the power to fully stop a god and you knew it. Morax knew it. Whether he was holding back because of his affections for you or because he was toying with you, you couldn’t figure it out. The power of your barrier did limit his abilities some, but it was hardly enough to be considered a handicap.

Still, somehow, you had knocked his polearms from his hand before you forced him onto his back into the grass.

His cloack was torn and his arms of geo-glowing beauty seemed dim and dark like the shadow cast over his eyes. His hood had been knocked back while his hair was tosseled and battleworn. Your body and his were covered in cuts and burns and scrapes. Everything hurt from inside your body to the outside.

You had him on his back as you climbed over him. Your legs pinned his arms down and your weight sat on his chest, the bottom of your staff pushing into his throat as your labored breaths shook throughout your whole body. All you had to do with lift your staff just a fraction and slam it back down and you could do some major purifying damage to his body. It probably wouldn’t kill him… but what if it did? Did you have it in your to purify a god? Maybe if you tried, it would take all your strength and you could die together. You almost scoff at yourself-

-wouldn’t that be just poetic.

You could feel his own chest heaving under your weight and you knew he could easily throw you off him if he wanted to. Just like before though, he did nothing. He just lay in the grass beaten and battered as he glared beyond the staff’s pole into your face. You hated the look in his eyes.

“Will you not follow through?” He chastised with so much venom you wanted to vomit. The staff shook once with both of trembling hands holding it above his neck. You had to- it was your duty. You would be betraying your people if you let him live. For your people, for the cowardice monks who forced you here, for your ignorance for thinking you could keep Morax by your side without consequence. For everything you had trained for until now, you had to get rid of him. You had to!

Morax sucked in a breath as he readied his neck to be pulverized. Your staff came away from his throat… and soon your weight was being pushed off his body entirely. Raising to your shaking, exposed legs from your torn trousers, you took staggering steps backward from him. Morax’s glare morphed into shock as he raised to his elbows to watch you retreat.

“What-”

He watched your chest heave with frustrated tears. Choked, uneven sobs tore at your throat as you screamed before throwing your staff far from your grip. You heard it clank against Morax’s discarded polearm and thought for a moment how ironic it was. Your weapon reuinited with his in your moment of weakness- your lowest point of failure. The moment you threw duty away and chose yourself for once.

“I can’t,” you cry, falling to your knees into the singed and destroyed field that once flourished so wonderuflly. “Please, go,” you beg. Morax climbs to his feet, wincing at the wounds on his body before calling for his polearm again. Once it was again in his grip, he looked at the dried blood of yours that litered the blade. The Lord of Geo immedately dismissed it, watching it disapate into the air from whence he summoned it. He simply stood there, looking down at your crumbling frame.

What were you doing? You were going against your practices and willingly letting a supposed threat escape. He took one step in your diection, still so woefully attached to you. Watching you tear at the seams and keep unraveling in front of his very eyes. He was at a loss; what could he do to even begin to ease your suffering when he himself was part of it?

“No.” You could feel his eyes on you and his want to approach you burnt the top of your head at which he gazed. “Be gone.” You demand once again like the first day you chased him off. You didn’t hear him move and in a fit of nothing left, you tore off your bell bracellet and threw it in his direction. “Go back to where you belong!” And in a mere moment, his presence vanished and you broke completely. The eyes of the monks watched as you sobbed in the gardens, the battle they made you wage concluding with no victor.

“Zhongli…” the story behind the hairpiece and his grief was heavier than either Paimon or Traveler was expecting.

“I had planned to gift this to y/n during one of our meetings. I knew she wouldn’t be allowed to wear it of course,” he chuckled bitterly to himself. “For a great many of reasons. Still,” it would’ve proven to myself she was mine. Zhongli cleared his throat. “Regardless, I think I’ve spoken enough for once. The tea has run out and you both surely have other arrangements as the day is waning.”

“Paimon doesn’t think-”

“Then, we’ll be off,” Traveler interjects. Zhongli was just being polite but what he was really saying was that he wanted to be alone. “Thank you for telling us. Y/n sounded like a wonderful person.”

“Tis but a story.” The way he replied made it sound like he was trying to convince himself more than them. The two left his home, leaving him still sitting at the table with an empty teacup and still holding that crystal winged dragonfly like it was Teyvat’s most precious treasure.

It was quiet between Paimon and the Traveler as they walked aimlessly around Liyue. The Traveler’s mind boggled at the information they had been told and grew curious to any they hadn’t. They were almost certain that there was more to your story, but Zhongli couldn’t bare to say anymore.

“Wait,” Traveler stopped in the middle of the path, bringing their hand to cup around their mouth in thought. “That all happened during the Archon War, right?”

“Paimon thinks she remembers him mentioning that. Why?”

“Do you think Xiao would know anything about it?” Traveler thought about it, but if memory served Morax was the one who granted Xiao his name. As Paimon looked at the blond with wonder, a voice spoke behind them.

“You called?”

Paimon’s screech echoed into the air as the Traveler spun around, not expecting the very apedtus to show up. Xiao sure took the calling of his name seriously.

“Paimon never-” the floating companion looked to the blonde. “Oh, yeah. I guess we kinda did.” Xiao crosses his arms as he stands expectantly. The daytime hours were few in remaints and the streets began to slowly thin in populous, so he was less reserved about being around people, Though, he still didn’t want to linger either. Regardless of his wants, he noticed the air of tensity around you both.

“Did something happen.” It wasn’t a question, it hardly was when Xiao was involved.

“Do you know anything about a woman named y/n?” Xiao’s body when frigid as he dropped his arms and quickly stepped up to the both of you. Coming nearly toe to toe as the Traveler squeaked and took a half step back.

“How do you know that name.” Once again, Xiao wasn’t asking. Traveler looked around and decided that standing in the middle of the road wasn’t the best place for this conversation.

“Let’s go somewhere else.”

The newly formed trio had migrated outside the city and out into the wilderness by a river. Xiao and Traveler took to sitting among stones, Xiao crossing his legs and Traveler letting their’s dangle. Paimon’s ever floating presence never going too far from the two. They sat and listened to the sound of the bable of running water, trying to find a way to reopen the previously halted conversation.

“Did Rex Lapis tell you about y/n?” Xiao ripped the bandage off first, something Traveler was almost thankful for. “That’s the only possible conclusion I can think of if you know her name since she wasn’t memorialized during her lifetime.”

“Yeah, he did. I’m pretty sure he chased us out before he could tell us everything though.” Xiao nodded. Earnest understanding shone in his eyes but there was something else behind those irises of his, but the Traveler couldn’t figure out what it was. “Did you knew her too, Xiao?” He nodded again.

“Not long after Morax found me and gave me my name, I found out that he was frequently paying visitation to a mortal woman. I thought he was being reckless, so he took me to meet her one day.”

“He took you himself?” Paimon questioned.

“Yes. He wanted to prove a point.”

Xiao could still remember his first impression of you. You had scolded Morax as soon as he landed in the familiar garden, arms crossed and mouth opening in reprimands. Calling him foolish for bringing a highly detectable entity beyond your barrier- one he didn’t even realize he had breached with his archon- and that if you hadn’t masked his spiritual signal just like how you did with his own, he’d be in a world of trouble.

Seeing Morax take your scolding as he stood there bemused, Xiao’s first thought was that he did not like you. He distrusted you. What kind of mortal argues with a god on what they can and cannot do like you did? It was ludicrous. Still, the moment Morax introduced him as his newest comrade named Xiao, you smiled at him. You sent along with that smile a warm welcome and he suddenly felt awkward.

“Xiao,” you called to his back before he was to leave with Morax at the need to return back outside your walls. He did not turn around to face you, but he did not move until you spoke again. “Feel free to come back and visit anytime. I’ll keep you covered.”

“Rex Lapis- Morax- was the one who saved me and gave me the name Xiao. I respect him and owe him a great deal- a debt I may not truly be able to ever repay in full. In mortal terms, some may say he’s like a father to me.” Xiao’s chin lifted up to the darkening sky. The day had felt so long, the Traveler hadn’t realized just how late it was beginning to get. “If Morax was a father, then y/n was my mother."

The yaksha can still remember the first time he had sought you out for himself without Morax with him he was recoiling from karmic debt. It didn’t take a genius to know that he felt lighter in your presence- your purifying light helping ease his burdensn whether you did so purposely or not.

It was late into the night when you had awoken abruptly from your sleep to the sensation of Xiao passing through the barrier. You sprung up from your futon, quickly focusing on his approach and cloaking him the best you could. His energy was rough, dark and pulsing and it worried you. You quickly made your way out to the garden where you knew he’d be and unshockingly enough was when you arrived.

Curled into himself on his knees, his arms wrapped around his torso as black smoke engulfed him like vines. Gasping and sweating, he weakly stay collapsed in the grass as you ran to his side.

“Xiao!” You whispered in anxiety as you knelt next to him, your eyes teary in fright. “What’s happening to you?” He didn’t answer, just shook his head with heavy, labored breaths. The moment, your hand came to rest on his back, his eyes rolled back with a fraction of his burden easing off his shoulders. Xiao slumped into you, his shoulder and neck pushing into your legs as his head rested partially on your stomach. His sudden collison knocked you back into the grass, your previously kneeling form now firmly planted on the ground.

“Please,” he gasped as your other hand had come to his shoulder that wasn’t pushing into your lap. “Please, could you… sing.” In truth, he wasn’t sure why he asked that of you. He didn’t know what possessed him to request something so odd, but regardless of the oddity, you did. Your mouth had opened and you slowly and softly began to sing him a lullaby he had never heard before that night.

It was like a blanket of early morning mist started to coat his burning, heavy body. His aching came to a slow stop as his mind became clearer. You sang the lullaby over and over again until the effects of his karmic debt had disappeared into the evening air. Even when he went completely lax on your lap and your hands had moved to run through his hair and across his back, you kept singing until early that next morning Morax had come to retrieve his missing Adeptus.

As Xiao in the present looked at the stars, tracing constellations, he once again was reminded of your lullaby. You sang that to him many times after that and he remembered every single instance. It wasn’t far-fetched to say that the reason Barbarto’s song’s calmed him so is because he’s reminded of you in those moments and tunes.

Yes, Xiao came to revere you just as much as his Archon- even though you were just a mere mortal.

“So,” Traveler spoke up softly, trying to gently pull him from his obvious reminiscing. “What happened to y/n? Zhongli mentioned that he had fought her, but what happened then? Did they ever see each other again?”

“No,” Xiao’s face contorted into a grimmance as his fist’s balled in his lap. “Y/n was executed before Morax could ever see her again.” His fists were so tightly balled they shook, clearly he still resented the fate you had been subjected to.

“Executed?!” Paimon exclaimed. “But- but why?!”

“Because she let Morax live.” The yaksha’s eyes narrowed as he gnashed his teeth. “Those filthy monks that poisoned her temple confined her to a dungeon cell where they starved and deprived her of anything. Letting her suffer for days before placinig a curse and executing her all because she refused kill an Archon.”

“Did those people really not like Archons that much?” Paimon asked.

“They were monsters!” He exclaimed. “Y/n had been raised to choose the people over her own desires, but the moment she wanted something for herself they-”

“Xiao,” Traveler interrupted, reaching out their hand to place it on his folded knee.

“She didn’t deserve the fate they gave her.” Traveler only nodded at his solemn tone. “When her execution was carried out, Morax… he reacted to an extreme.”

“An extreme?” Paimon inquires. Xiao nodded, lifting his head back up from where it had been tucked towards his chest in anger.

“The moment y/n’s barrier disappeared Morax stormed inside. He destroyed everything he could get his hands on. I… I was with him.” Xiao was enraged at the news of your demise, but he knew as he watched the back of his Archon as took the lives of the lowly monks who dared try to outrank you that the grief and emotions Morax felt course through him far outweighed his own.

By day's end, the entire palace, surrounding village, and temple were all up in flames or crushed into rubble. Standing among the burning wreckage that stunk of ash, blood and death Morax plunged his polearm into the earth and screamed with no one left to witness him aside from Xiao. Instead of trying to approach his archon, he instead kept his eyes on the remains of buildings going up in flames like a personal pyre in remembrance of you.

“After that, Morax stopped talking about her to anyone. It was like he pushed her into the recesses of his mind and tried to erase her altogether. With the meeting of other Archons and the assembly of Liyue, it seemed like he was trying to move forward.”

“Poor Zhongli,” Paimon whined. “Star crossed lovers sure are sad to think about.”

“To this day, there’s no one y/n has cared for as deeply as Morax.” At Xiao’s confession, Traveler’s ears perked. Did they hear that right?

“Hold on,” they started, “what do you mean ‘to this day’?” Xiao’s body stiffened. He cleared his throat before he looked away, hoping that silence would push past his slip up. “Xiao!”

“It meant nothing.”

“Liar.”

“I am not.”

“Paimon thinks so too!”

“Your input does not encourage much.”

“Hey!”

“Xiao,” Traveler tries again, arms crossing over their chest as they straighten their sitting posture on the stone they still sat on. Xiao cursed himself at deflating so easily in the face of the blond’s pressure.

The Adeptus took after his Archon in that sense it would seem.

“If you can keep it a secret,” he hesitated, “then I have somewhere to take you.” Xiao’s face turned back and looked the Traveler into the eyes. They could see just house uneasy his gaze was, yet still under it was a stern ‘this is important’ before everything else. They nodded deeply towards him and force another sigh from his lips. The two of them jump from their stone seats as Xiao points in a direction. “Then follow me.”

“Paimon can keep a secret too!”

“Somehow, I doubt that.” Still, Xiao let her follow him too. The more the merrier you’d say- or at least he hopes.

“I had no idea there was a place like this in Liyue!” Paimon exclaims after Xiao had taken both her and the Traveler along a path through the forests and into a clearing. After approaching what appeared to be nothing, his figured seemed to pass through something. The two who accompanied him both gawked at his sudden disappearance into thin air before he was reappearing from nowhere. ‘Hurry up,’ he had told them as they cautiously followed his once again disappearing back.

Beyond the boundary of nothingness was a fairly large home that was longer than the clearing thy where previously in. The path forward was lined with trees and during the daytime they provided comfortable shade for any who walked under them. Now though, they just casted nighttime shadows of moonlight. The air felt different from the forest’s air as well. As if it had been filtered through something and made even cleaner than normal.

Xiao walked with confidence through the path of trees and up the steps of the elongated home like he had done it a million times before. He didn’t even stop to check and make sure that both Traveler and Paimon were still behind him and hadn’t instead wandered off. The lanterns that lit the halls cast moving shadows along the walls and they danced off Xiao’s back as they continued to trail after his heels.

Soon, he came to a stop outside a set of doors before looking at Traveler briefly then back again. He knocked twice around the hardened sides of the doorframe and didn’t wait for any signs of noise before taking further action. Sliding them open, he stepped inside and the Traveler and Paimon naturally followed.

It was a large room, a small floor desk tucked away on one side littered with papers, books and ink. Another set of doors opposite from the ones he had just walked through led out to an open terrace that further pushed out into a stone garden. On the opposite side of the room was an unfurled, messy futon that lacked a body to rest inside it.

Xiao sighed at seeing the empty futon and made his way out the doors to the wooden terrace. Apparently he had found who he was looking for since he began to speak and it wasn’t to the Traveler.

“Why are you not resting?”

“How could I when I have visitors?” A voice answered him and it made the skin on the Traveler’s face flush. It sounded clear like bells and was as soft as a gentle stream. Holding such composure- it reminded them of Zhongli’s voice and how aged it was. Xiao backed up into the room again as someone had came inside.

The dark hour left the woman mostly unseen, but Xiao was quick to start lighting a lantern for light.

“Thank you, Xiao,” she commented as the wick began to burn with a flickering flame. Traveler’s face remained flush at the woman in front of them. She didn’t just sound wise, she looked it. Like she had seen many years and experienced many things- but still looked so young. Xiao moved to her side and Traveler didn’t need to ask if the woman in front of them was who they thought she was. “Are you friends of Xiao’s?”

“Yes,” Traveler whispered before they cleared their throat and answered again. “Yes, we are.”

“I see.” Xiao cleared his own throat, turning his head away at the gaze the woman sent him. Luckily the lantern didn’t light the room the greatest so his tinted cheeks stayed between the duo and didn’t reach the Traveler’s eyes. Looking back, she smiled warmly and it seemed exactly like how Zhongli explained. “It’s lovely to meet you both. My name is y/n.”

“WHAT?!” Paimon exclaimed before slapping her hands over her mouth. Both at the discourtesy and the late hour she had yelled into.

“I assume you have a great deal of questions,” you tell them, “but, for now I think we should table all that for tomorrow. You’re both more than welcome to stay here for the night. Xiao can lead the way for you.”

With that, somehow the two travel companions ended up in a guest room with two futons and Xiao telling them to get some rest before leaving and presumably going back to your side.

You had once again left your room to sit on the terrace and Xiao joined you. Sitting beside you, his head coming up to your shoulder in height as you both looked and focused on nothing.

“Are you upset with me?” He asked.

“Not particularly, no. Shocked, maybe. I wasn’t expecting someone else to follow in behind you from the forest.”

“I apologize.”

“There’s no need.” You slowly bring your hand up to rest on the back of Xiao’s head, a comfort to both him and you. Just like how Xiao described you as a mother, you didn’t ever think of him as anything less than what you assumed a son would be like. “It’s actually helped me with something that’s been on my mind lately.”

Xiao just grabbed onto the sleeve of the robe you wore, not saying anything but conveying enough for you to understand.

“I’ll explain it tomorrow. For now, how about a lullaby?” Even from the guest room and with Paimon already asleep, the Traveler could hear a faint song in the air before drifting to sleep.

“Sooo, how old are you?”

“Paimon!” Traveler yelled. “That’s rude!”

“I was just asking a question!”

“Ask a different one!”

The small squabble that earned a sigh from Xiao the next morning led you into a small laughing fit. The group of you were gathered in a drawing room used for when Xiao would visit you during your days. You’d spend time listening to things Xiao would encounter outside, and while it was a good way to pass the time you would otherwise spend alone, it felt better with more lively guests like this.

“Xiao’s older than I am, so please rest assured I’m younger than you think.”

“Xiao’s older?!”

“Ahem,” the Yaksha interrupts by clearing his throat, “age matters aside, don’t you think now would be a good time for an explanation. If we’re gone from Liyue too long, Zhon- er- Rex Lapis could get suspicious.”

“Why’d you correct yourself like that Xiao?” Paimon asks before you answer for him.

“He feels like Morax’s mortal name makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told him time and time again that it doesn’t bother me, but he insists on using his other titles. Feel free to keep referring to him as you’re used to, I won’t get confused.”

“How considerate of him,” Paimon dryly says, pulling another chuckle from you.

“In any case, Xiao is right. I assume he told you about me, seeing as he brought you here himself.”

“Sort of,” Traveler starts. “Zhongli is actually the one who told us about you. Xiao just told us more.” A shocked look passes over your features when you hear that the former Archon had opened up about you at all. “He said that someone from his past died around this time and we were worried about him. We kind of… pressured him into telling us.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Xiao said as he crossed his arms. “If Rex Lapis truly didn’t wish to speak about it, he wouldn't have. Believe me. He’s too stubborn.”

“Be nice,” you lightly chide him. “Still, it’s a shock. I thought he would’ve buried his memories of me long ago.”

“I’ve told you,” Xiao spoke up again, “Rex Lapis- he still-”

“Xiao.” Your voice was stern for a moment before he clammed up.

“Sorry,” he spoke defeatedly. Instead of staying quiet and letting the awkward air cloud up the room, he started up the discussion of why he had brought outsiders here in the first place. “Traveler, do you remember when I told you that Lady y/n had been executed?” Traveler nodded and was shocked at his use of a title. He didn’t use one at all when he was talking about you yesterday? Did he always address you personally like that? “Do you also recall how I mentioned how before she was killed, she was cursed.”

“Oh yeah,” Paimon acknowledges. “Paimon remembers you saying something like that.”

“It’s because of that curse that she’s still alive.”

“They cursed her not to die? Doesn’t that seem kinda dumb since they apparently executed her for not defeating Zhongli?” Paimon’s face scrunched before her entire being deflated. “Paimon doesn’t get it.”

“That isn’t quite correct. I can die,” you inform them. Xiao’s fist twitched as his gently grasped the fabric of his pants in his palms. “In fact, I have died several times. The curse i bare is that I cannot stay dead.”

“Isn’t that still contradictory to what the monk’s were trying to accomplish?” Traveler asks.

“Not necessarily. Back in my original life, I had broken a vow I had been raised on: placing my people above myself and never being selfish. That one sacred vow being broken was enough for Jiang to label me a treasonous traitor. This eternal life of mine is punishment for that crime.”

“That’s so dumb!” Paimon exclaims. You continue to explain after she’s finished huffing. Her puffy face was quite amusing to look at as she crossed her small arms like she was offended on your behalf.

“My curse resets my life to the point in time I was killed. Therefore, any injuries or illnesses I received in previous lives have all but vanished. I can still starve and freeze to death. I can become ill and contract diseases just like a normal mortal. I’ll die if I'm stabbed and I’ll scar if I’m burned. Still, even after all that, I’ll simply wake up again like none of it happened. This prolonged suffering is what Jiang and his acolytes were after.”

“That’s terrible,” Traveler whispers. “Have you died many times?”

“I’ve lost count.” You raise your hand to look at your palm that has been the same as the first time you woke up from death. In the ruins of your destroyed temple you were foggy minded and confused before your entire being filled with dread. “I’ve lived so many lives I cannot remember them all, but I know I’ve touched on every type. I’ve gone mad, harming people around me and myself. I’ve given in to every sin in hopes that they would allow me to die and not come back. I’ve even tried ending the cycle myself, but all to no avail.”

You took a deep breath before dropping your hand back to your lap.

“As stained as I am now, I’m hardly the priestess I used to be. I can never be that pure original version of me, but I’ve long accepted that. I’m quite… content with my life right now.”

“Content my foot,” Xiao huffed. “You were planning to stay alone for a lot longer if I hadn’t found you.”

“Wait,” Paimon piques, “found you?”

“It was purely by chance,” you explain. “Sometimes, I’ll venture into Liyue but under a cloaked disguise so I’m not recognized or detected. Some years ago, I accidentally ran into Xiao near Wangshuu Inn and spoke his name purely out of reflex. He heard me and well, it was safe to say he wasn’t exactly pleased as he tracked me down.”

“I was frustrated,” he corrected. “I came to find out you were alive and hiding for eons after thinking you were long dead.”

“I know.”

“Imagine how Morax would feel if he knew!”

“I know, Xiao,” you repeat. “That’s something I actually want to talk to you about.” Xiao stills in his rampage before his arms slowly uncurl and his posture takes on something uncomfortable. “You’ve kept my life a secret for some time now, omnienting the truth from the Archon you respect so much. I’m sorry for asking such a selfish request.” You turn to look at the slack faced boy before bringing your hand to cup his chin affectionately. Traveler felt like they were impeding on a parental moment as they tried to look anywhere but you both. “If you want to, you can tell him the truth now.”

Xiao’s hand comes to quickly clasp around your wirst that started to fall away from his face. His mouth opens before it closes again. He was torn between what he’s been wanting to do for so long and the open permission to actually do it.

“Are you… for certain?”

“Yes,” you swallow a lump in your throat. “I’m certain.” Xiao quickly takes your wrist out of his grip before he’s rushing to stand up. He stands with such a force he teeters on his feet before going to the door. He didn’t want to wait a single moment longer. “Xiao!” He stops momentarily and he’s reminded just for a brief moment how you spoke his name like that to his back the first day he ever met you milinia ago. This time though, he spun to look you in the eyes. “Take this with you,” you had gotten up from your place and placed your hand out of a nearby window. Bringing it back in not longer after, an insect of glimmering colors hummed through the space and landed on his shoulder.

“A dragonfly!” Paimon exclaims as Traveler also rose to their feet ready to follow Xiao out. Xiao just nods before dashing out of the door. Being inside your barrier always made it hard for him to teleport between locations, so he had to get outside first. “Traveler, lets catch up with Xiao!” Paimon says, pointing after him.

“Yeah,” they agree before looking back to you as you stay by at the window.

“Get going now,” you urge before Traveler was awkwardly bowing to you and running out, calling Xiao’s name to try and get him to ‘slow down and wait up!’

Once alone again, you felt a coil settle in your chest. It was the same tightness you felt when Xiao had found you. Found out you were alive as you confessed everything to his insistent pleading after following you into your barrier. You braced your hands on the window pane before swallowing a lump in your throat.

You never got the proper chance to tell Morax how you felt about him in your original life. It was wrong for a mortal like you to fall in love with a god- much less in the middle of a world altering war. You would’ve been far more foolish to confess your feelings than you were when you let him go.

The tight coil only grows barbed spikes as you remember the last time you ever saw him. Laying beneath you as you pinned him down. Standing before you as you demanded him away. Feeling the empty air as he vanished right before you eyes.

Xiao had told you that he was the one responsible for destroying your home. Burning it all down and destroying everything in his sight all because you had died. He was so filled with anguish and you didn’t know if you fully believed it. Xiao insisted that Morax hasn’t cared for a single soul as much as he cared for you. Even know as he lived as Zhongli you still hadn’t been replaced. You didn’t know if you believed that either.

“I won’t regret this… will I?” You ask no one as you feel yourself start to pathetically cry. “Weak,” you call yourself as you stand alone in the empty home you constructed for yourself long ago.

“Did you find him yet?” Traveler asks Xiao as they met back up in the middle of Liyue. Zhongli wasn’t at the funeral parlor and Hu Tao didn’t know where he had meandered off to before they came looking for him. He wasn’t at his home nor was he listening to that storyteller at Three-Round Knockout like usual. “Last place is the harbor. He was at the bridge when we found him, so let’s go look.”

They made haste to the bridge, but with crestfallen faces it was devoid of any kind of descended Archon. They were about to recollect their thoughts and try and figure out if there was any other place he frequented they could try when someone spoke up behind them.

“You all seem troubled,” the familiar voice of Zhongli startled all three of them as they all whipped around to look at him. He looked as composed as usual, maybe even a bit better than yesterday. Maybe airing some of his grievances helped him out a bit after all. Still, who knows how the news Xiao had for him would effect his mental well being.

“Rex- ahem- Zhongli, I need to speak with you.” In the heat of the moment, Xiao almost addressed him as Rex Lapis. Calling him that in the middle of the busy day would be a mistake, so it was good he caught himself. Zhongli looked at Xiao’s steadfast gaze and let it travel over to the blond and their companion who’s always had an issue keeping quiet.

“You all look stiff, like something has happened.”

“That’s Zhongli for you,” Paimon remarks. “Always perceptive.”

“So, it’s as I surmised.”

“I’ll explain everything, but it can’t be here.” Xiao stepped in.

“I understand,” Zhongli sighs. “Come with me. We can talk outside the city away from any possible prying ears. I would prefer to not be cooped up indoors.”

Just like the day before, Zhongli took the group out to the same river Xiao did; it was far from the people and now he stood cross-armed and ready for any sort of explanation. Traveler stayed quiet, knowing it was Xiao’s wish to say something first and made sure Paimon stayed quiet too. If anything, they were there to make sure nothing got out of hand- this was truly between them.

“On behalf of someone else’s word, I’ve been keeping something from you. It’s about… It’s about, y/n.”

“Xiao,” Zhongli bit and Xiao felt the words get stuck in his throat the moment your name left his mouth. Zhongli’s tone was already on edge. Just the mention of your name was enough to make the Archon nearly growl. The former divine being had been feeling the blanket of grief hold him down more this year than previous ones, the fact that he opened up about you just the day prior to the Traveler made old wounds throb. The last thing he wanted was to talk about you and make everything hurt all over again for another time.

“I understand you don’t want to talk about her, but please hear me out.”

“I will not entertain whatever thoughts you think you need to say. Y/n died a long time ago, you should leave her in the past.” His words were ironic since he himself couldn’t even do that.

“You don’t understand.”

“Xiao.”

“Please, she-”

“Enough!”

“She’s still alive!” Xiao, fed up with his god not letting him get a word in, blurted it out. He inwardly recoiled, not wanting to just say it like that. He wanted to ease into it, try and slowly explain it so Zhongli would accept it easier. “Y/n, she’s… she’s alive.”

There was silence so heavy it kept Xiao’s head down with an invisible force. His eyes stayed locked onto the boots of the one person who he respected the most. If he had never felt fear before this very moment, now would be the perfect introduction to it as he felt the burning gaze of Zhongli on his skull.

“Is that an attempt at a ill-advised jest,” Zhongli’s voice put on a dangerous tone. It was understandable and justified however. Who would just believe that the one mortal an Archon fell in love with thousands of years ago was alive? It sounded ludacris and Zhongli did not enjoy feeling like a fool.

“He’s telling the truth!” Paimon defended. Her mental restraint on not talking snapped at seeing Xiao look so meak under Zhongli’s overwhelming stature. Zhongli’s gaze shifted from Xiao to Paimon who squealed at the intensity before flying to hide behind the Traveler’s shoulder. His gaze was hard, stern, and angry.

“What could you possibly know? You only just learned about who she was through me- without my telling you so, y/n would be only a memory shared between Xiao and myself alone.”

“We know because we met her,” Traveler tell him. His fists clench and his jaw locks.

Zhongli couldn't stand lies or liars, and yet he wanted everything the group in front of him said to be bold face lies. Zhongli trusted the Traveler and Xiao the most out of almost anyone he knew presently. He trusted them with his secret and they always tried their best in their own duties and goal to find their sibling. He respected them and trusted them with his life as both Zhongli and Rex Lapis.

But did he trust them with your life?

With the promise of you being alive coming from Xiao and backed up by the Traveler, the former Archon was notably torn. He didn’t want to get his hopes up and have this all be some sort of illusion. A trick of the mind that will leave him crumbling just like the day he first lost you. He didn’t thinking he could take that kind of anguish again.

The Traveler stepped up and took Xiao’s hand in one of theirs and the other took hold of Zhongli’s. Paimon floated out from behind them as the blond made both of the immortal being bring their gazes up to them.

“Xiao can take you to her just like he did with us. Y/n is waiting.” The curled fist of Zhongli’s lessened enough to wrap around the Traveler’s comforting touch. He looked back at Xiao who had been looking at the blond with such gratefulness for salvaging the situation before calling his attention back. His amber gaze had loosened up, but they weren’t the normal eyes of Zhongli. Morax was peeking around the irises of the tallest among the group.

“This is no lie?”

“I would never lie to you.”

“Yes,” he breathed out, “I know.” He took a breath, feeling so embarrassingly out of character. It was then that he noticed the small insect that had been on Xiao this whole time. The trio had seemed to forget you sent them back with the dragonfly, but Zhongli knew. He sucked in a breath as he looked at it. “Take me to see her at once,” he commanded. Xiao wasted no time in teleporting all three of his companions to the edge of your barrier he had memorized the location of.

Zhongli’s hand was dropped by the Outworlder as he walked to the edge of it. He could sense the familiar power from years past and reached his hand up to place his palm on it. It bent with his palm like a bubble before it pushed through, rippling the distorted view of cloaked foliage behind it. He hesitated, but a slight push at his back had him walking in- well, stumbling in.

His face mirrored the Traveler’s when they had first seen the area behind the barrier. He could feel you everywhere and his body started moving before he could stop. Xiao and Traveler called after him as he took off into a sprint towards the house under the tree’s shadows. It felt like a ribbon had tied itself around his wrist and was yanking him forward. The dragonfly that had sat perched and patient on Xiao had taken off with Zhongli, acting as a guide as it flew in front of him.

“Take me to her,” he pleaded with the buzzing bug. “Like last time,” he remembered how a similar bug had led him to you that first time. He felt so vulnerable as he ran into the house, barging through the doors and dashing through halls with abandon. Zhongli felt mortal with his emotions controlling his actions and his desperation oozing out of his very core. He should be in better control of himself, but he can’t control his body no matter how much he tries. “Take me to her!”

The dragonfly had flown to a corridor that led into a vast open space. Stairs of three steps led out into an open garden with bushes, flowers, and carefully created paths to walk. It was a far cry from the overgrown, wild garden of the past. A stone canopy held up with four strong pillars covered the peaceful place from the sun and a small stone table sat among the paths intersection.

His breath was labored, chest heaving as the dragonfly continued out into the garden and his pace slowed down until the insect had taken a turn just outside the cover of the canopy. The dragonfly stopped, perching itself on an outstretched finger and Zhongli almost collapsed.

“Thank you,” you said to the dragonfly before it lifted off your finger and took off in a random direction, its job fulfilled. The sun bathed you in a golden light Zhongli could remember from eon’s ago and as he stared at you, a tear fell heavily and unstrained from his eye.

You weren’t sure what to say as you looked at him, but when you saw that tear fall you were ready to immediately apologzie. You never got the chance. Instead you were frozen in surprise when he had somehow appeared directly in front of you and encased you to himself.

Sealing his body to yours, his arm wrapped around your lower back and one of his hands pushed your head against his neck. His back curled inwards, bending you backward enough so that your back arched and he could form you to him even further. You were so warm and he felt himself choke as his nose took in your scent from atop your head. It was different from before, but he could still smell you in it- altered or not. It proved that you weren’t some fake, you were real.

Zhongli nuzzled into the top of your head, greedily taking in everything of you he could. You had placed your hands on his sides before sliding them up to his back. One of your hands snagged into the fabric of his coat and the other stayed wound around his back. He could feel you start to shake and he felt a bit better than he wasn’t the only one overly-emotional.

“You’re alive,” he whispers into your hair, voice cracking enough the wind could easily pick it up and take it somewhere far away. You just nodded into his chest as he somehow gripped you to him tighter, closer. “You’re alive,” he repeats like he’s trying to convince himself this isn’t a dream.

“Yes,” you sob. “Yes.”

As the two of you stood under the sun in a garden different from the one in his memories, he took no notice of the three other figures who had finally caught up to him after taking off on his own. Xiao felt a weight lift off his chest at seeing you two finally reunited and Traveler gently took his head in comfort. He had no chance to get embarrassed at the action, instead he just squeezed it back as he watched his long-seperated family cling to each other.

Xiao felt whole again for this one moment and he knew that you both did too.

“I’ve missed you so,” Zhongli confesses into your locks and you almost laugh if it wasn’t choked up on your dying sobs turned to sad sniffles. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” you sniff as you let your arms slowly start to retract from him. He knew that things needed to be discussed and explanations needed to start somewhere, but he was reluctant to let go. His arms released you, but his palms were quick to gently cup your cheeks instead to tilt your face up to him. Your eyes were swollen and the whites of them irritated due to your tears. He looked no better.

Zhongli ran his gloved thumbs over your cheeks and across your eyes when you closed them when he got too close with his touch. He planted his feet between yours before pushing his forehead on yours and choosing to bask in your sun bathed body before anything close to closure ensues.

“Um,” you break the silence, but like last time, nothing else gets out before your interrupted.

“Call me by my name.”

“What?”

“My name,” he repeats. “Please.” He didn’t want to hear his mortal name or any of his other countless name and titles he’s collected over the years. No. His ears yearned for the name you knew him by. After all this time, he just wanted you to call him-

“Morax.”

Zhongli collapsed at last. His hands that cupped your cheeks dropped as did he. He came to his knees in front of you, his empty hands easily latching onto yours in lieu of your cheeks. His head hung as he sat- kneeled- at your feet. You shuffled in astonishment and shock as he took your hands and pushed them against his forehead pleadingly.

“Again.”

“Morax,” you whispered and he could hear the embarrassment in your tone. He chuckled as a shiver ran through his entire being.

“Once more.”

“You’re being spoiled.”

“I think I’m more than qualified.” He hears you chuckle and he could perish right here in this very instant without regret at the sound. It was just as he remembered.

“Morax.”

“This time,” he starts speaking as he feels you slowly start to join him on the ground. Your hands had twisted in his grasp to hold them back. “This time,” he starts again, “you’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

You pull both of your encased hands to your lips, kissing his gloves and he wishes he took them off. His wish must’ve been yours as well since you slowly started to remove his gloves and revealed the dark, golden imbedded skin he kept hidden to the public eye. Your eyes remained closed as you worked, like you had dreamed of doing this so many times you didn’t need your sight. Once again, you placed your lips on his knuckles and it was like his skin was alight with lava.

Reopening your eyes, you adjusted your hands so that your fingers were now interlaced, fingertips resting on top of each other’s hands as your palms were on the warm ground to lean closer to him. You push your forehead back against his, breathing in his air that became tangled with your own. Smiling so softly at him that he released one of your intertwined hands to push his fingers into your hair behind your ear and pull you even closer to him. He wondered if he could meld your very existence into his own and become the earth itself among the garden.

“I’ll stay until you don’t want me,” you declare.

“I’ll never not want you, my dear. We have too much time to make up for and many stories to share, should time continue to allow it.”

“Time is nothing but a concept to me now,” you chuckle bitterly. You would tell him about it all later, but now wasn’t the time. It would dampen the mood too bitterly for your tastes.

A contract was made under the sun behind a barrier that had kept you concealed and hidden from his faze. Your intertwined hands were the signatures finalizing that contract. Zhongli wasn’t ever going to let you slip through his fingers again- he promised himself that as he held tighter onto your warmth and you to his.

Zhongli couldn’t wait to finally give you the hairstick he had held onto for a millenia in your memory. Even more, he couldn’t wait to see it glimmer under your locks of hair since there was nothing and no one holding you back anymore.

a/n: pls god like/reblog/tell me your thoughts. this is babies first genshin fic and it's got so many words im so anxious i could throw up. i only edited this like one and a half times bc words became mushy and my eyeballs started melting. pls excuse the shift between past and present tense, my eyeballs - as aforementioned- are melting

if @scara7102 sees this it wouldn't let me tag you uh oh

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x y/n #zhongli x you #zhongli hurt/comfort #zhongli angst #zhongli fluff #zhongli #rex lapis #morax x reader #morax #zhongli fic #genshin impact x reader

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fangsandfracturedhearts · 11 months ago

Text

Fangs and Fractured Hearts

Chapter 7: Rogue Desire

Summary: After embracing eternity as a vampire spawn under Astarion's wing, the Crimson Palace becomes a haunting symbol of the man he once was. As his personality unravels into a dark abyss, you flee. A year of hardship unveils the harsh reality of existence as a vampire spawn.

Just as all hope seems lost, a twist of fate reunites you with Astarion, revealing a glimmer of hope amidst the shadows. As you navigate the complexities of your relationship, you must confront the unsettling truth behind the Rite of Profane Ascension and the devilish secrets it holds.

In a race against time, you embark on a daring quest to save Astarion from his descent into darkness. With each choice you make, the stakes grow higher, testing the limits of your courage and determination.

Will Astarion find redemption, or is he destined to succumb to his own inner turmoil?

Word Count: 6.5k

Pairing: Ascended Astarion x female!Tav Spawn

Warnings: [Will try to continue to add more, but in general expect explicit content for mature audiences]

Possible spoilers. Eventual Explicit Content. Slow Burn. Thoughts of Suicide. Violence. Blood. Injury. Mature Content. Self-Harm. Mentions of in-game content. Completely fabricated camp events.

If you notice a very critical tag missing, please don't hesitate to let me know

Rating: Explicit 18+ - [Meant For Mature Audience]

The library is dim except for the oil lamp casting its snug ochre radiance, illuminating the page you’re reading. The window here is forever shuttered and draped to keep the sun off the assorted books and tomes, making you feel safe. Well, as safe as you can feel while sharing quarters with Astarion. Your fingers rub the harsh, bumpy surface of the book's old cover as your eyes feast on page after page.

“What are you reading?”

You close the book momentarily to let Astarion get a look at the cover.

“Ah,” he smiles, “I lent you that some time ago. Did I not?”

You nod, “I never got to finish it.”

Astarion lays on the lounge beside you, “Well, what do you think of it so far?”

You cock your brow at him, and your nose crinkles, “It doesn’t exactly strike me as the type of book you would read.”

He laughs, “Why’s that?”

“It’s well written, and there are gory bits, but it seems to boil down to a love story, and I can’t imagine you reading romance.”

“Do you think me incapable of romance, my dear? I was romancing people before you were alive.”

You smirk at him, “I’m positive you can feign romance exuberantly. I can’t imagine you being truly romantic, though.”

He waves dismissively, “What’s the difference? It’s all a show, isn’t it?”

“I suppose, but one has true feelings behind it, which makes it romantic. It’s not the “show,” as you say.”

He chuckles, “This is starting to sound an awful lot like a challenge, and I do love a good challenge.”

You frown, “I’m sure Elowyn would love a demonstration.”

He scoffs, “You said there must be true feelings behind it.”

What does that mean?

Does he even feel anything anymore?

Questions you want to ask him but choose not to because you don’t want to know the answers.

Astarion looks around the room, “Why do you read in here all the time? I thought you would be out in the courtyard, or at least in a room with a window. You used to love the sun,” he muses with a dreamy, faraway guise.

“I liked the sun. No one loves the sun more than you do."

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” his mouth twitches, “You and I used to watch the sunrise together often.”

“That was before,” you sigh at the memories, “This is now.”

He looks around anxiously while rubbing his hands together, “We could again if you wanted to.”

“I’m frightened that you will get angry with me, and in that rage, you’ll cease protecting me,” you retort bluntly.

His brows furrow with a resigned sigh, “Do you think you will ever trust me again?”

“Do you want me to?”

He sits upright and looks at you intensely, “Indeed, I do.”

Why? Why does it matter to him if I trust him or not?

Trust is a luxury I can’t afford.

“You have your work cut out for you then.”

He chuckles, “It’s a good thing we have an eternity ahead of us.”

Unless you kill me.

Biting your tongue, you swallow that retort. Astarion has been remarkably pleasant for several days and seems more himself than you can recall since he became the Vampire Ascendant. You’re not keen on upsetting him for something so silly and becoming reacquainted with the version of him that lurks in his ire.

“Why did you recommend the book to me?”

He glowers at you playfully, “I have no doubt you will figure it out sooner or later.”

So, there is a reason.

“You could just tell me,” you purr.

“Darling, where is the fun in that?”

Astarion stands and kisses the top of your head. Running his finger along the books, he picks one, “I will be reading in the courtyard, in the sun I love so much according to you, if you would like to join.”

You give him a curt nod, but once he’s left the room, a small smile meanders its way across your lips. Astarion having the ability to walk in the sun safely for the rest of his days after living centuries in the dark was one of the reasons you had helped him with the ritual. You didn’t want to be the one to damn him to an eternity of darkness as a spawn. As far as reasons go, you know it wasn’t a good one compared to the cost, but what’s done is done, and the reasons, good or bad, don’t matter now.

Letting your eyes roam the page of text, you try to distract yourself with the story, but your mind keeps drifting to Astarion, the courtyard, and the sun. Astarion asking if you could ever trust him again confuses you, and admitting he wants you to only mystifies you further.

Why does he want or care about my trust?

Could I ever trust him again?

You’re surprised by how much you long to trust him again. There had been significant trust between you at one point, but that utter conviction got you to this spot. When Astarion had Cazador kneeling before him, he said he knew what he was doing and asked you to trust him, and you did so blindly. Thus, assisting in turning him into whatever it is he is now.

I should have known better.

Closing your book, you descend the staircase on shaky legs. The mere thought of going and sitting in the sun still strikes terror into you. You’re still adjusting to having windows again. More than once, Astarion has caught you attempting to slink past the window, staying out of the sun as much as possible, or just standing there staring at it apprehensively.

He would giggle at you and make his silly, taunting quips, but he would also comfort you and tell you that you were safe with him, at least when it came to the sun.

As long as he’s not angry.

The door to the courtyard is open, and the bright mid-morning sun washes over the dark wooden flooring. Astarion sits on a bench bathed in the golden light, eyes down, skimming the page of the tome. He looks at ease and happy, and you can’t help but smile to yourself and cherish that view. Glancing at the rays warming the floor, you swallow your growing doubt.

Trust has to start somewhere. He will have no chance if I never give him one.

“You’re safe, sweetheart,” he coos without looking up from the page.

“Promise?”

Astarion stands, puts the book down and comes to the doorway with a tender smile, holding his hand out to you, “I promise. Come.”

Biting your lower lip, you slide your hand into his. Astarion coercers your body to move forward out into the courtyard with gentle force. Paving stones warm your bare feet as they pad along the ground, and the sun’s heat permeates your cold skin.

This is the first time you’ve seen this place in daylight, and it looks substantially less foreboding. At night, the courtyard’s high stone walls cause it to appear small and closed off. In this light, it seems open and pleasant.

A well-groomed tree towers off in one corner, providing some shade. The green leaves flutter in the slight breeze. Another bench sits under the willowy branches.

Astarion gently twists your arm, forcing you to pirouette as if you were dancing an elegant courtly dance, and you giggle at his playfulness.

He rests his forehead against yours, “Thank you for trusting me.”

Gods, he’s so close.

As it often does around him, your ability to be rational and keep yourself grounded slips at his proximity. You can hear his heart beating and smell the bergamot, rosemary, and a hint of aged brandy you’ve come to love.

You’ve felt frozen inside, numb, for so long, but his touch reawakens your purpose and thaws the ice that has solidified your fiery spirit and kept it subdued in the void his absence left.

“I missed you, you know. When you left,” he whispers.

Tears threaten to spring to your eyes at the authentic vulnerability, and your hands grasp Astarion’s arms. Inhaling a long, shuddering breath, you attempt to regain the plummeting authority over your body.

Astarion holds your waist tenderly with the same firm protectiveness you remember. You keep trying to convince yourself the man you loved died that night, that Astarion is gone, but here he is, standing before you.

Is this him, though? I still don’t know.

Astarion uses his index finger to bring your eyes to the vivid scarlet of his, which are staring at you with a searing ardour. You’re paralyzed by that gaze, carried away by the deluge of instinct and longing coalescing.

“Can I kiss you, Astarion?”

He smirks, “Little love, I thought you would never ask.”

His lips meet yours, and your eyes flutter shut. Your body wilts into his as if drawn in by his gravitational pull. You let yourself drown in him. Your senses scatter, and you’re swept up in his undertow.

His tongue persuades your lips to part, and he skillfully traverses your mouth. You purposefully find one of his fangs, and you run it delicately over your tongue, causing a shallow wound that weeps blood. He growls as the taste of you detonates his hungering desire.

“Fuck,” he groans, “I love it when you do that."

You smile against his lips. You know it drives him crazy, and that’s precisely the point. You want to fill him with you; claim him as he has claimed you. You want him to be addicted to you so he can think of no one else.

Astarion bucks his hips into you, and you grind yourself against his hard length greedily. You clench at the delicious friction against your swelling flesh and whimper demandingly. A deep growl in his chest vibrates against you as his hand ravenously roams over the contours of your body.

You let your splayed hand coast from the taut muscles of his abdomen to his chest lazily, savouring his silky, soft skin on your fingertips. His chest heaves under your hand, and you can feel the rapid, excited thumping of his heart.

Astarion grabs your thighs and hauls you up. Reflexively, you wrap your legs around his hips, securing yourself to him.

“Perhaps we should take this indoors, yes?”

You giggle, “Astarion, are you shy? I thought you enjoyed being the centre of attention.”

He kisses your neck, “I plan to make you scream my name until your throat is hoarse. Would you like everyone to hear your wanton incoherent cries?”

Even though you’re more than accustomed to his alluring taunts, you still feel the heat rising to your face. Thankfully, you’re dead, and your skin can’t redden.

“And if I did? Perhaps they would learn something,” you tease flirtatiously.

He chuckles while putting you down once you’re safely hidden in the manor, “Darling, the prudes of the upper city would surely perish on the spot if they saw what I’m about to do to you.”

Gods, yes.

Your walls spasm and clench at the carnal depravity that courses through your thoughts in vivid splendour. You tug his shirt out of his breeches, and he pulls it off, anticipating your request. His fingers undo the ties of your shirt, and he slips it off. Those hooded red eyes brimming with lust consume the sight of you gluttonously.

“You’re perfect,” he purrs deeply.

Your chest swells and falls as you pant purposeless air. For so long, you’ve felt fear, loneliness, hunger or nothing at all, but right now, you’re high on the love and desire overflowing in you, and you refuse to give it up.

You throw yourself at him in desperation to keep this moment alive. His lips meet yours with the same dire need. Your fingers curl into the white curls at the nap of his neck while your other hand undoes the ties that keep his pants secured to his waist.

His thumb traces the lower curve of your breast, and you groan, feeling your nipple already harden in anticipation of his touch. His fingers graze the sensitive peak. Your body quivers, nerves humming as liquid lightning rolls down your spine, and your clit pulses in tempo with his teasing fingers.

“Needy thing, aren’t you? How long has it been since you’ve been touched, tasted?"

You were the last one to touch me.

This isn’t something you would like to admit to him. You don’t want him to know how hopelessly in love and devoted you are to him. Astarion knows love, and he knows how to play with it, and you don’t want to give him more ammunition to play with you like a toy.

Reaching into his pants, your fingers find them wet with pre-cum, and your mouth waters at the thought of tasting him again. You grasp his cock, and his hips jerk with a panting grunt.

“Needy thing, aren’t you,” you taunt mockingly.

His eyes narrow, hypnotizing and brimming with lust, “I know you’re skirting around the question, darling.”

Astarion’s fingers glide past your waistband and trail down in an anguishing slow progression that makes a whine slip from your lips. He parts your wet folds, skillfully avoiding the bundle of nerves that is howling for his touch.

“Hells,” he kisses your cheek, whispering in your ear, “I bet they didn’t make you this wet.”

You sag into him and sigh, “Astarion…”

He teases your swollen flesh, circling the aching border, “Did they make your body shake with need?”

The first direct touch sends a shockwave rocketing through you, and you whimper, knees buckling. You are forced to let go of your grasp on his cock and secure yourself by holding onto his arms. Astarion smirks proudly. The pads of his fingers stoke and massage, and you moan loudly. The coiling tension builds and intensifies as his tempo does.

A knock on the door startles you, and you try to jump away from him, but his arm wraps around your waist, holding you in a steadfast grip.

“Ignore it,” he barks, “we’re busy.”

Another hammering rap on the door makes Astarion growl in frustration. His brow pinches in a dark scowl.

A pleading voice muffled by the door arises, “Master Ancunin! Master Ancunin!”

Pulling away from him, your body mewls in dejected objection at the discontinuation of sensation, “I think it’s for you.”

He groans and grins seductively at you as he sucks your arousal off his fingers, and you choke in a quick breath.

“As sweet as ever, my dear. My memories did not do you justice.”

The banging on the door resounds through the manor again with the same pleading shrieks from outside. Astarion rolls his eyes while he does up the ties of his pants. Not bothering to put his shirt back on, he moves to answer the door. You take quick steps backward to remain out of sight of the visitor.

“What is it?” Astarion sneers.

“Master Ancunin. Please forgive my intrusion, but your presence is urgently required.”

“We are not set to convene until tomorrow night,” Astarion snarls with an intensely domineering inflection.

“I know, saer. I am dreadfully sorry about this violation. I throw myself at your mercy.”

Astarion sighs, “And what exactly is so urgent?”

The man’s voice hushes significantly, and you can only catch small snippets here and there, but not enough to put together what’s happening that seems to require Astarion’s attention immediately.

“WHAT?” Astarion thunders.

Despite the booming shout, the intonation in his voice is dispassionate and unexpressive. You slink further back, knowing that whatever he was told has provoked his rage.

“Go. I will be there momentarily,” he slams the door harshly, cursing under his breath, “Fuck!”

Glancing around the room, you try to find a place to hide from him. You could go back into the courtyard, but if he’s angry and he decides you’re an easy target to take it out on, he might just let you burn. The stairs to your room lay too far away and would mean crossing paths with him.

Astarion turns the corner and jumps as if surprised to see you there. His eyes meet your face, and you’re relieved the crimson pools remain warm with liquid affection.

He must see the terror illustrated on your face because he frowns sadly, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You’re angry.”

He nods curtly, “Yes, but I am me, for now - you have nothing to fear.”

You gulp, “For now.”

Astarion runs his fingers through his hair. Whatever that man told him, it agitated him significantly.

He clears his throat, “I must go deal with this.”

He bounds up the stairs quickly to his room and must dress at a breakneck pace because he returns rapidly, fully dressed in his overelaborate coat, looking mouth-wateringly dashing.

Astarion heads for the door and tugs it open but hesitates, pivots and takes long strides toward you. Reflexively, you step back, frightened that the anger won.

Astarion kisses your forehead and the back of your hand, “I will try to be back for your lesson tonight.”

You nod, “It’s okay if you aren’t. Be careful, Astarion.”

He smiles, “As you wish, my love.”

Once Astarion is gone, you quickly run around and close all the heavy curtains, plummeting the manor into darkness. Sitting on the floor with your back against your bed, you close your eyes and reprimand yourself for letting things go so far.

Your role here is to try and figure out what’s ailing him and see if you can help him remedy it, not to continue getting closer to him, falling more in love with him.

If that’s even possible.

You wonder, though, if, by some miracle, you can find a way to conserve whatever remains of the old Astarion. Would you want to be with him then, or has the damage been done, and your relationship is doomed and wrecked beyond repair? Could you ever trust him again?

Gale is out looking for the Wish spell for you, but you ponder if you could use it to save Astarion from whatever evil plagues him. Could it be used to restore him to his previous self completely? Could it be used to turn back Ascension entirely? Would you do that to him even if it could?

Would I give up my one chance to be alive again if it meant restoring him?

You need to gather more information on what’s ailing Astarion. As well as the capabilities and limitations of the Wish spell, but you can’t tell Gale or Shadowheart that your motivations may have changed.

Where is Withers when I need him? He knew everything there was to know about souls.

You have a theory about what happens to Astarion, but it needs to be confirmed. You wonder if the Rite may have stripped away some of his soul, whether unintended or on purpose, and now the soulless part of him wars with the version that still retains the remaining bit of his soul, each contending against the other, vying for control.

You imagine the only way to figure this out is by talking to someone who deals in souls, but who? You’re still trying to work it all out.

With Astarion gone, you can finally let yourself get some much-needed rest. Laying down on your bed, you succumb quickly to your meditative state and slip into the tributary of your trance.

The walls of the Crimson Palace moan as they settle, cooling off after the hot sun beating down on them. You’ve been locked in your room all day, and those solemn whines are the only indicator you have of time.

The door to your bedroom snaps open, but you don’t even bother to look. You’re lying in bed motionless, staring at the ceiling of your pitch-black room as you have been doing since he locked you in here in the first place. Astarion keeps you corralled in here like an animal. You are not to leave without his approval, and if you do, the consequences are dire.

“My consort,” he drawls as he lights a candle.

“What do you want,” you say monotone.

“Get dressed, darling. I have need of you tonight.”

“No, thank you.”

“This is not a request,” he sneers, “You will come.”

“What are you going to do? Drag me there?”

“Oh, pet, I will do so much worse.”

“I’m not going,” you mutter scornfully.

Astarion grabs you harshly by the arm and drags you down the hall to the kennels, “You do remember this room, yes? Do not make me put you in here, strap you to that device, and teach you why you will obey me.”

He drags you back to your room as you pull and fight him with everything you have, but he merely laughs at your pathetic attempts. He throws you onto your bed.

“Get dressed,” he commands, “Wear the blue one I have laid out for you. We are going to a party, my treasure.”

Your fingers linger over the silky blue material he laid out for you. The dress is glamorous, you suppose, but nothing you would ordinarily adorn. The gown is far too low in the front and back and leaves very little to the imagination.

Whatever he has planned for you tonight, you don’t want to know, but if you disobey, he will put you in the kennels, and you don’t want to visit that place again.

You pull the dress on. The neckline hangs down below your belly button, and the back is just as low. A long slit up one side allows a view of your leg. You cringe at the idea of wearing something like this in public.

Astarion returns promptly, dressed lavishly and looking far too handsome, “You look exquisite. This will do perfectly.”

Astarion escorts you to some overly sumptuous estate in the upper city. The ballroom is packed full of the city’s nobles and high-ranking officials.

“Remember to smile, pet. They need to believe we’re a happy couple."

You scoff at him, “I don’t care what they think.”

Astarion grabs your face harshly, “You WILL smile, or you will be punished. Do I make myself clear?”

You rip your face out of his hand and glower at him, “Fuck you.”

"Maybe if you’re a very good girl tonight, I will permit it.”

He introduces himself around the room, using his practiced manipulations to make connections, but he never introduces you unless someone pays you any attention, which they generally don’t. The only attention they pay is practically undressing you with their ogling eyes, and it makes your skin crawl.

Astarion directs you to a quiet side of the room, “Do you see that man in the maroon jacket?”

“What about him?”

Astarion grins sadistically, “I need you to go over there and distract him by any means necessary.”

You gasp, “Excuse me. What?”

He snickers, “You will distract him by any means necessary. Take him to a bed for all I care, as long as you get him out of the way.”

He wants me to do what?

“I will not!”

You yell it loud enough to gain the attention of some of the partygoers nearby, who give you awkward glances.

Astarion scowls at you, “That was very naughty, pet. Go now, do as I ask, and I will consider letting that little display slide.”

If I refuse, it’s the kennels.

You lean close to him and whisper, “If you try and make me do that, I’m going to make a big scene and embarrass you in front of all your new, very important friends.”

He leers at you threateningly, “Last chance.”

I choose the kennels over my body offered in exchange for whatever he’s planning.

You scream, loud and resounding, “No!”

The high pitch of your voice echoes through the entire room, thanks in part to the absurdly high ceilings. The once loud laughter and voices cut off into an awkward, hushed silence as all eyes in the room snap to you and Astarion.

Astarion plays it off perfectly with a warm smile, “Of course, my love. If you do not wish to go, we won’t.”

He’s going to have to do damage control later.

Astarion grabs your hand and squeezes it so hard you whimper while he walks you out of that damn party with the excuse that you are not feeling well. He trembles with anger, and you know you’re in for it when he gets you back to the kennels.

Back in the safety of the Crimson Palace, you burn him slightly and try to run to your room, though you know it’s little use. He disperses into gas and appears in front of you before you can make it even halfway there.

He grabs you, screaming in your face, “You dreadful little wretch! Now, I am forced to have to teach you a lesson.”

“Astarion, stop. You don’t have to do anything!”

He laughs like someone deranged, “How else will you learn to obey?”

“I will never obey,” you spit hatefully.

“We will see about that, my unruly, little spawn.”

He drags you through the halls while you scream, cry and beg him to stop. Your sandals skid across the wooden floor, shrieking as your feet try to find purchase.

The kennels smell like fetid blood, and you cringe as the scent assaults your nostrils. Astarion chains you to the wall, so you have no choice but to stand while he strips you bare.

He laughs menacingly, “You will learn to obey me, my consort.”

Astarion’s crazed laughing resonates through the room as he blows out all the candles, submerging you in pure, inky darkness. The door closes, locks and you’re left in silence.

You know you could get yourself out of these chains, out of this room, but the consequences if you do would be far more dire than being left in this miserable place naked and alone.

If you spend days, weeks or months isolated, starving, and stripped in the dark, you have no idea.

The sound of a beating heart starts to pulse on the outskirts of your trance, and the side of your bed depresses, rousing you from the memory. Your pillow is damp from tears shed as you were forced to relive that barbarity.

“It’s just a dream,” Astarion soothes, rubbing your arm.

No, a memory.

Does he even remember doing that or the many other similar atrocities he committed against you? If he does, he’s made no indication of it. One day, you will have to ask him, but you don’t feel like exploring that particular abyss of suffering with him right now.

You nod, “Yeah, just a dream.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” Astarion glances at the wet spot on your pillow, “It seems to have upset you.”

“No, that’s not necessary. Did you deal with whatever you were summoned for, Master Ancunin?"

He smirks at your teasing, “In a manner of speaking, I suppose I did.”

That doesn’t sound good.

“You killed someone, didn’t you?”

He shakes his head and shrugs, “Perhaps multiple people. I cannot be sure."

“You don’t remember?”

He stares at his hands, “No. More often than not, I recall nothing.”

Does that mean he doesn’t recollect the kennels or the other horrid things he did to me?

“You lost yourself again?”

He sighs, running his hand over his face, “I think so.”

Glancing at his clothes, you register that he’s not wearing the same thing he left in, “You changed?”

“I did.”

He must have been drenched in blood if he bathed and changed before coming home.

“Are you okay right now, or should I be throwing myself at you?”

He giggles, but it has a crestfallen ring, “You can always throw yourself at me, love. But I’m fine. I’m not angry anymore.”

You wrap him in an embrace anyway. His demeanour is melancholic and subdued, and you wonder just what in the nine Hells happened when he was out to have him coming home so miserable.

Astarion leans into you, the corner of his mouth quirking in a small smile and sighs, “Thank you. Should we go out and continue your lessons?”

You rest your chin on his shoulder, “I am rather hungry.”

He pats your leg, “Well, we can’t have that, can we? Get dressed and meet me downstairs.”

The forest is tranquil, with nothing but a light wind rustling the canopy of the lanky trees. A crescent moon hangs high in the sky, but not much of its light makes it to the ground, making the colours of the forest appear more subdued than usual.

“Gods,” Astarion clicks his tongue disapprovingly, “your footwork is truly an atrocity.”

You roll your eyes at him, groaning, “I’m trying!”

“If this is you trying, darling, the realm will end before I can even teach you this.”

“Well, maybe if I had a better teacher!”

He inspects his nails absently, “You’re more than welcome to try and find a more adequate educator.”

Ugh.

“Can you just tell me what I’m doing wrong?”

“It would be shorter to list the things you’re doing right,” he quips.

“Astarion!”

He strolls a slow circle around you with his fingers on his chin. His studious gaze is so intense you can virtually feel his eyes stroking your skin. Shadows skirt handsomely, if a little forebodingly, across the angular planes of his face.

You watch him heedfully, eyes tracking his course as he stalks around you. You’re always on alert with him. It’s hard to know what will set him off and what won’t, and you can’t afford to be caught off guard. Even so, a part of you luxuriates in these moments with him, and you admonish yourself for it.

“Where did I say you should keep most of your weight?”

“In my heels.”

“Ah, so you have learned something,” he tuts, “and where is your weight now?”

Your eyes cast heavenward, and you sigh, “I’m guessing not in my heels.”

“Correct. You’re tottering on your toes. Again,” he scolds, “Shift your weight. You’ll have far superior balance.”

You focus on your body and how it’s positioned. Your centre of gravity is displaced, and you’re rocking slightly from your toes to the balls of your feet and back like a blade of grass in a gentle wind. With effort, you manage to transfer your weight into your heels. The stance feels unnatural to you, and you struggle to keep yourself in it.

“Good girl,” he purrs, “Now, lower your hips. You’re still standing too tall. Everything will see you coming a mile away.”

The muscles of your thighs groan as you try to descend further into the crouch. You’ve been at this for hours, and your body is starting to drone fatigue.

“Lower.”

“Hells, Astarion! How much lower?”

Astarion crouches behind you and places his hands on your hips. Applying a gentle force, he pushes you further into the crouch. The muscles in your legs begin to twitch and tremble, and your balance starts to wobble.

He rises and walks around you again before crouching down in front of you with a cocked brow, “You’re very unsteady.”

Astarion reaches out and pushes your shoulder, causing you to overcorrect and fall forward onto him, knocking him over in the process. Something tells you he allowed you to push him flat to his back on the ground. He could have easily moved out of the way and watched your face grind into the earth.

Regardless, you find yourself sprawled out on top of him while you laugh loudly.

“Are all Sorcerers this unlawfully graceless?”

You smirk, “Do all Rogues possess such a smart mouth?”

He lays his head on the grassy ground and rolls his eyes at you with a grin, “Sassy girl.”

You move to push yourself up, but his arm comes around your waist, bracing you to him, and Astarion pushes the hair out of your eyes, “I really did miss you when you were gone, you know.”

Can I believe him? Can I afford to let myself believe him?

You swallow your rising sorrow, “Do you still feel emotions, Astarion?”

His vivid scarlet eyes impale you and imbue you with a profound solace that spreads through your body like a cascading wave of warmth, prickling your skin.

“You make me feel,” Astarion’s sombre, earnest intonation causes a breath to hitch in your throat.

Feel what - Obsession? Possession? Dominance? You want to ask him, but you don’t, unsure if you’re ready to hear the answer.

His thumb traces your lower lip, and that familiar rush of electricity jolts through your body and twists into your stomach. You trace his jaw with your index finger, leaning in and ghosting the velvety smoothness of his lips with your own.

Gods. I’m losing it.

Astarion presses into your invitation, and your lips mould together, charged with impassioned longing. His hand meanders into the back of your shirt, and you bask in the lazy, comforting strokes of his fingers against your skin. Using your tongue, you coax his mouth open, and he groans, giving you the access you crave.

You can feel your walls spasm and flutter eagerly, silently imploring him to fill you. Gyrating your hips into his bulging erection, he hisses as your swollen, aching clit, gorges on the mouthwatering friction. You whimper against him as your body cries for the release you were denied earlier.

Your eyes pop open momentarily and take in the forest that surrounds you. Memories of the forest the first time rush forward, and you push yourself back abruptly.

Astarion sits upright quickly and scans the surroundings, confused with your retreat, “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“Not here,” you pant.

His brows furrow for a second, and he looks around. Comprehension eases his features, “Oh, come now, was I that bad in the forest last time?” he pouts dramatically, “I didn’t hear any complaints at the time.”

“Bad?” You shake your head, “No, Astarion. Those memories are sad.”

His brow cocks, “Sad?”

You run your fingers through your hair, “I should have known what you were up to.”

Once it rolls off your tongue, you wonder if you will regret telling him this. You’ve carried this guilt around since he confessed in the first place. He manipulated you because he felt he had to secure your devotion, thus establishing his safety.

If only you had been less infatuated with him, you might have seen through that guise and been able to stop him from putting himself through that again.

Astarion stands, concern creasing his face, “Love-”

I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.

You cut him off, “Not here, Astarion.”

He nods curtly, and you begin the walk back to the estate. Once you get to the Lower City, Astarion offers you his hand to hold. It comforts you that he will stop you if you try to hurt someone. You’re not sure if he does it for your benefit or his. After all, if you did lose it and kill someone, you could end up exposing him, a risk he is unlikely to take.

The city streets are mostly quiet at this hour. The only sound you hear is your footsteps thwacking on the rigid ground until a random heartbeat starts repeating in your ears. You don’t give it much thought until her voice drifts out of the darkness. You recognize that repulsively sweet, harmonic tone.

“Astarion, darling! It’s been ages!”

Elowyn.

The woman saunters from the outdoor sitting area of a nearby inn. Her mulberry hair is pulled back, revealing her dainty face and ever-so-increasingly tempting neck. She wears a green dress that makes the sapphire of her eyes stand out.

What is she even doing out here at this time?

You clench your jaw. Something is off about her, but you can’t quite put your finger on what. She has an air about her that makes your skin crawl, but it could be the utter loathing you feel for her playing tricks on you.

Astarion smiles pleasantly, “Elowyn. How lovely to see you.”

Elowyn’s eyes fall to your hand clasping his, and her eyebrows pull down into a slight, barely noticeable scowl. She leans in close, puts her hand on his chest and kisses his cheek, lingering there for far too long.

Your palms warm, and your muscles tense as your jealousy ignites the raging inferno of your temper. Elowyn smiles at you sweetly, but a hint of hostility in her eyes makes you want to relieve her of sight.

“How nice it is to see you again,” she grins brightly, “You appear to be in better shape than when I saw you last.”

Astarion’s brows pull down, “Better shape? My dear, whatever are you talking about?

Elowyn’s cordial laugh fills the air and makes you want to rip her vocal cords out, “Yes, last I saw her, she was quite drunk and heading to see you.”

Astarion thinks for a second and then chuckles, “Yes, she was quite drunk.”

He shoots you a glance and squeezes your hand, telling you to play along. You roll your eyes and scoff contemptuously as if you were going to inform this weasel anything about you or your life.

“She was quite rude to me that night, Astarion dear,” Elowyn sighs dramatically.

Is this bitch seriously trying to get Astarion to hurt me?

Will he?

He smirks dubiously, “Was she? How utterly awful.”

Elowyn pouts, “I do hope you will teach her a lesson. She threatened to kill me after all. She must learn respect.”

Respect? Her? HA! Never.

The notion is so entirely ridiculous that a snide snicker escapes your lips as your face contorts into a threatening grimace.

Astarion stares at her, scowling, “Watch yourself, Elowyn. Do not make me remind you of your place.”

Elowyn’s carefree demeanour falters to concern at the warning intonation of Astarion’s voice. She swallows hard and forces her dainty face to dress in an overjoyed smile, and she’s back to her usual flirtatious facade.

I wonder if she’s gotten him angry yet. If she has, how did she live through it?

Her hand is splayed on his chest, and she presses herself further into him, “I have missed you so. I came by the palace the other night to see if you wouldn’t like some company .”

Company? Ugh. As bad as entertainment.

You scoff at her loudly and try to pull out of Astarion’s grip, but he only holds on tighter.

You frown at him, “Let me go, Astarion. I wish to leave."

“No, you stay.”

“Let. Me. Go,” you growl threateningly.

This is not a request. It’s a command. You may pay dearly for taking this tone with him later, but right now, you don’t care; you would rather endure his wrath a thousand times over than spend another minute in the company of Elowyn.

Watching her put her hands all over him stokes the fire burning in your blood to unfathomable temperatures. As your fury increases, so does the likelihood that you reduce her to a pile of ash.

Why do I care so much?

I left him.

“It seems your pet spawn would like to give us some privacy. Let her go, my sweet Astarion.”

Pet spawn?

Thank you to everyone who reads/likes/comments/reblogs!

Master List of Chapters: Fangs and Fractured Hearts

If you're interested I write another fic with Spawn Astarion x Tav called - Shadows of the Past

AO3 [Crossposted]

PS: I hate Elowyn - excuse me while I go break something to get over writing her.

#astarion x reader #ascended astarion #astarion fanfic #bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 fanfiction #astarion #bg3 #astarion x you #astarion smut #fangs and fractured hearts

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sarah-bear706318 · 3 months ago

Text

Chasing Storms and Finding Love. Chapter 6:

Series Summary: When Tyler's baby sister joins him and his team for a season she seems to catch the eye of a certain StormPar member much to her brothers dismay... will she listen listen to her big brother or follow her heart?

Chapter Summary: Your brother walks seeing you and Scott sleeping and loses his mind! Your brother and new boyfriend get into fight right in the middle of your room. In the aftermath of the fight you try to talk to your brother when he says things he can't take back

Pairing: Scott Miller X fem!reader, Tyler Owens x sister!reader

Series Warnings: Sneaking around, Pissed off Tyler, Love Struck Scott, ALOTS of kissing, A little age gap, Cussing, Drinking, Storms(duh), Falling in love, Slow burn

Chapter Warnings: MAJOR ANGST(sorry) A very pissed off Tyler, fist fights, LOTS of yelling, sibling fight, cussing, soft! Scott, asshole Tyler, lots of tears, heavy makeout session, fluff

A/N: this chapter might hurt but I do have a plan! also I saw on google Tyler's middle name was James so I went with google lol Thank you everyone who is reading liking and reblogging my story! I am new to writing and it makes me feel good and encourages me to keep writing!!! and aslo big shout out to @nikkicloudie for always letting me bounce ideas off her, you are such a big help!

@nikkicloudie @papichulo120627 @thespillingvoid @turnerintoabutler @lindsayjoy444 @glenpowellluver @harrysgothicbitch

If you want to be added to the tag list let me know!

"WHAT THE FUCK"

You are jolted awake at the sound of a very pissed off older brother and something hitting the wall. Before you have anytime to think you feel Scott being ripped out of bed.

"WHAT THE FUCK TYLER LET HIM GO, AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN MY ROOM"

"THAT DOESNT MATTER WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN YOUR ROOM IN YOUR FUCKING BED"

" THATS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS TYLER, NOW LET MY BOYFRIEND GO AND GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!"

Tyler is seeing red at this point and looking between you and Scott, he's shocked enough to let the grip he has on Scott loosen, and Scott stumbles trying to keep his balance.

"BOYFRIEND?! DID YOU JUST SAY BOYFRIEND Y/N?!" Tyler yells going to grab Scott again, but isn't fast enough, you are in between the 2 tall men in the matter of a second.

"YES BOYFRIEND" you yell at your brother

"I'LL KILL YOU" Tyler yells pushing you aside and goes to throw a punch when Boone grabs his arms and pulls him back, while Javi does the same with Scott. You look around wondering where the hell they came from, then you see your brother never closed the door.

"What the hell is going on in here" Javi says looking at the three of you.

"I FOUND THEM IN BED TOGETHER AND SHE JUST CALLED CLIPBOARD HERE HER BOYFRIEND"

"DON'T CALL HIM THAT, NOW TELL ME HOW AND WHY YOU ARE IN MY FUCKING ROOM TYLER JAMES OWENS"

"I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU WITH COFFEE SO I USED THE EXTRA KEY"

"YOU HAVE A KEY TO MY ROOM TYLER ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW"

"YES THEY GAVE ME 2 YESTERDAY"

"SO YOU KEPT ONE WITHOUT TELLING ME ARE YOU INSANE TYLER"

"NO BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER RIGHT NOW Y/N" your brother yells to you before he turns his sights to Scott

"NOW WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY SISTERS ROOM IN HER FUCKING BED"

"WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING DUDE LIKE SHE SAID WE FELL ASLEEP WATCHING A MOVIE" Scott yells

"WITH YOUR FUCKING SHIRT OFF"

You look over to your new boyfriend where Javi is still holding him back from your brother and see he does indeed have his shirt off, holy fucking hell does he look good you think to yourself, but when did he take his shirt off, but before Scott can say another word you hear another voice.

Kate, Lily, Dani, and Dexter are now standing in the still open door to your room looking very confused to what they are seeing. Great more people to witness this It's Kate that speaks up first. "What is with all the yelling we can hear the 3 of all the way downstairs".

"I JUST FOUND MY SISTER IN BED WITH THIS ASSHOLE, AND HE HAS NO SHIRT ON THATS WHATS WITH ALL THE YELLING"

Your brother pulls out of Boone's grip and tackles Scott to the ground and Javi right along with him. You stand there in shock with a mix of angry and hurt tears streaming down your face while your big brother and boyfriend throwing punches at each other. Javi gets to his feet and does his best to grab Scott with the help of Dani as Boone does the same to your brother with the Dexter helping him. You have had it at this point

"KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF BOTH OF YOU THATS ENOUGH!" you yell at the top of your lungs "I CAN'T BELIEVE THE TWO OF YOU ACTING LIKE THIS! SCOTT SIT SO I CAN CLEAN YOUR FACE, BOONE GET MY BROTHER OUT NOW" you say pulling your boyfriend from Javi's grip and pushing him on the bed.

"WHY DOES HE GET TO STAY" your brother yells still being held back

"BECAUSE TYLER HE DIDNT COME BARGING IN UNVITED, AND I CAN ONLY YELL AT ONE OF YOU AT A TIME AND I'M MORE LIKLY TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW THEN HIM TYLER JAMES"

"I'M NOT LEAVING TIL WE TALK ABOUT THIS Y/N"

"YES YOU ARE TYLER I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR SEE RIGHT NOW, BOONE DEXTER GET HIM OUT NOW" you yell

"This isn't over Y/n" your brother says before he angrily shrugs out of the grip Boone and Dexter have on him and stomps toward the door. The others look between you and Scott before they too are heading to the door.

"Hey Javi could you please bring me some ice to put on this idiots face and Boone will you check on my idiot brother so he doesn't do anything stupid" you say to the men, and they both nod

"Do you need anything Y/n" Kate ask in a soft voice from the doorway

"Actually coffee would be amazing Kate thank you" you say looking at her then to the wall where you heard something being thrown at it just minutes ago, "and maybe a few extra towels since I not only have to clean a bloody face but coffee off the floor and wall and make my brother pay for the coffee since he started all this" you say meeting Kates eyes.

You make your way to the sink to wet a rag for Scott's face, and to see if you can find a first aid kit. As your walking back to the bed to clean up your boyfriends face you are beyond pissed, and Scott can tell so he just stays silence. He has a busted lip, a cut over his right eyes and a bruise forming on his cheek. "This is gonna sting but I gotta clean it" you say to Scott before wiping the alcohol pad over his lip while he winces. Before Scott can say anything there is a knock at the door and the sound of the door opening.

"Here's the ice your coffee extra towels and your extra key Kate made your brother give it up" Javi says walking over to hand you the bucket of ice and setting the coffee towels and key down on the bedside table.

"Thanks, hows idiot number 1" you ask still wrapping ice in a clean rag and handing it to Scott.

"He's bout the same as idiot number 2 here, Kates taking care of him"

"Tell her thank you"

"I will, I'll leave you to tend to him I'll check back later"

"Thank you Javi" "Thanks man" you and Scott say at the same time then Javi is out the door leaving you and Scott alone.

Scott breaks the silence "I'm so sorry baby". You say nothing as you walk to the bathroom to throw away all the bloody supplies you just used to clean his face, then back to the side of the bed where your coffee sits, picking it up to take your first sip.

"Baby please talk to me please" Scott begs

"What do you want me to say Scott hmmm, That its ok you and my big brother got into a knock down drag out at 7 in the morning in my room" Scott stays silence still holding the ice to his face

"Or do you want me to say I love knowing the fact that the whole state of Okla-fucking-homa just heard me and my brother yelling at each other, oh how bout this cleaning my boyfriend's bloody face first thing in the morning is how I wanted to start my day, and all this without coffee, so please Scott where do you want me to start"

"I can't say enough how sorry I am, I didn't want to fight my girlfriend's brother shirtless first thing in the morning with 5 other people watching and having to hear you cry and yell at your brother broke my heart, I will do anything to prove how sorry I am baby"

"It's not just you I'm mad at. My brother did barge in and you were only defending yourself I hate fighting with my brother" you say in a small voice trying to fight back tears. "He's one of my bestfriend and I know he means well but I think sometimes he still sees me as that 5 year old little girl he walked door to door with taking me trick or treating" Scott let out a laugh at the thought of that.

"I know you and my brother have a history and you hate each other but I can't do this every single day cleaning blood off one of your faces because you both wanna throw punches everytime you see each other or have a screaming match with my brother, I want him to be ok with the 2 of us. I really can see us going the distance and I want that so much but I really cant live with the two the men in my life fighting, and don't worry my idiot brother is gonna get the same talk with too" you say looking to Scott while wiping your eyes

"I don't think me and your brother will ever see eye to eye or be friends but I can be civil with brother if that's what you need me to do, I'll do anything to make this work with you and keep you as my girl" Scotts says brushing hair from your face

"You'd do that for me really" you ask

"of course I will babygirl" Scott replies pulling you into his arm

"Can I ask you one more thing baby" you say looking at Scott

"anything sweetheart"

"Not that I'm complaining because I most definitely am not but what happened to your shirt and why did I not get to help you out of it" you hear Scott laugh before he replies

"Well baby that is 2 questions" Scott laughs while you rolls your eyes

"But I got hot I'm not use to wearing a shirt while I sleep or having a gorgeous girl cuddled up next to me, as far as you not helping i thought you wanted to take it slow"

"I do but I'll never complain helping you get shirtless" you say with a wink and a kiss to his lips

************************************************************************

You and Scott stay in your room for a bit longer before you decide its time to go talk to your brother. You reluctantly pull yourself from Scotts arms to go get dressed. Once your dressed you and Scott walk out of your room, you turn to see your brother at his truck and you catch his gaze. Scott's room is on the first floor so the 2 of you walk down the stairs hand in hand you can feel your brothers eyes on you the whole time. Scott kisses you goodbye and tells you to text him when you're done or if you need anything.

You make your way over to your brother, the look he is giving you is making you feel like you did when you were 15 and took his old truck for a joy ride with your friends and crashed it. You make it to his truck and finally get a good look at his face, Javi was right he didn't look much better then Scott.

"You ready to talk about things like grown ups Ty"

"You tell me Y/n" Tyler replies

"I know you don't like Scott and there is a history there but you cant just bust into my room at 7am and be pulling people out of bed throwing coffee at my wall and punching people. I really like him, and he has treated me with nothing but respect and been so sweet since I met him. Can you please for me get on board?" you say to your brother

"No I can not get on board you wanna know why, I walk into my baby sisters room and see the ONE person I told her not to mess around with in her bed shirtless and you what expect me to turn and tip toe out off the room maybe put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door on my way out"

"No Tyler but I do expect you to act like a person and not a caveman, and like I told you we fell asleep watching a movie"

"WITH NO SHIRT Y/N, DON'T EVEN GIVE ME THAT LINE"

"EXCUSE ME WHAT LINE TYLER"

By this time you are both screaming and now have your brothers whole crew along with Javi and Kate stand there watching everything unfold. You look to your left and see Scott walking over as well.

"YOU WERE JUST WATCHING A MOVIE AND HIS SHIRT HAPPEN TO COME OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF IT"

"I'M NOT USING A LINE TYLER THATS WHAT HAPPENED WE FELL ASLEEP AND HE GOT HOT AND TOOK IT OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND EVEN IF SOMETHING DID HAPPEN ITS MY ROOM AND I'M 25 YEARS OLD AND CAN DO AS I PLEASE IN MY OWN ROOM"

"I DONT CARE THAT YOU ARE 25 I'M NOT GONNA STAND BACK AND WATCH MY BABY SISTER GET HER HEART BROKEN BY FRATBOY CLARK KENT AND I PAID FOR THE ROOM I PAID FOR YOUR PLANE TICKET DOWN HERE AND YOU ARE MY LITTLE SISTER AND YOU ARE DONE SEEING HIM"

As soon as the words left his lips he saw the tears forming in your eyes and he knew he just crossed a line, he looked around at his crew and their faces told him the same thing. Before Tyler could speak you beat him to it.

"Wow Tyler I didn't know you were keeping a tab stupid me I thought this was my graduation gift from my big brother guess I was wrong" you say with tears now running down your face then you dig in your purse for your wallet. You pull out all the cash you had on you and shove it at your brother. "Heres all the cash I have its about $380 this should cover at least the plane ticket I'll get the rest for the room and anything else you paid for by the end of the day, I'll have my stuff out of the room you paid for and see if they have an open room if not I'll figure out something I'd sleep on the street at this point, thanks for the gift big brother" you turn to Boone and hand him one of the keys

"Here Boone have your own room for once give me 10 minutes to get my stuff and I'll leave the extra key on the bedside table" You turn around and start to walk away with tears running down your face, you hear your brother calling after you but you don't want to deal with him. Tyler has never in 25 years to cause your tears only dried them, he was the person you went to not the one you ran from.

"Jelly bean" Tyler yells again

"Give her space T" you hear Bonne say to your brother

Scott meets you at the stairs and walks up with you to get your things from the room you stayed in last night. While your packing your things you don't say anything the tears have stopped and at this point you feel numb to a degree, you don't fight with your brother he's your favorite person in the world so this is an all new feeling.

After you gather all your things you walk down to the front desk with Scott to see if they have an empty room.

"Can I help you ma'am" the older woman behind the desk ask

"Yes I was hoping you have an empty room I can rent for a few days" you say to the woman

"I'm so sorry ma'am with all the storm chasers and the extra people that came in from Soonersville from the storm yesterday we are all booked up but there is another hotel down the across town its about 15 miles up hwy 25"

You hold back tears and force a smile before thanking her and walking out of the office. Once outside the dam breaks and you can no longer hold back the tears you then feel Scotts strong arms wrap around you pulling you into his chest. All you think about is what you're gonna do for a place to sleep tonight. Your first instinct is to go to your brother but for the first time in your life you cant and you are feeling helpless.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do Scott, I have no place to stay I don't even have a car to get me to another hotel or to sleep in" you sob into his chest

"Baby please don't cry you have a place to sleep, you can stay in my room"

"Don't you share one with Javi tho?" you ask

"Javi wont mind you staying I promise. I'm not letting my girlfriend sleep on the street or in a hotel across alone where I cant protect her, come baby lets get get you to the room to relax and I'll go get you something to eat." Scott says kissing your forehead.

You get to Scotts room he opens the door for you to enter first. Javi sitting on his bed with his laptop, the opening of the door gets his attention and you see him look up from what ever he was doing. He sees you and Scott with your things so he gets up to help.

"They didn't have anymore rooms available and I didn't want her staying across town alone, so I told her she could crash with us at least until a room opens up, that's cool right?" Scotts looks over to Javi

"Yeah man that's not a problem, I wouldn't want her staying across town alone either"

"Thank you Javi, as soon as I room opens up I promise I'll be out of your hair" You say looking to Javi

"You can crash in here as long as you need to Dr.Owens" Javi says with a smile

Scott and Javi help you get settled after the events of the morning and the fight with your brother

"Baby I'm gonna go grab something to eat for you is there anything else you need?" Scott says coming to sit next to you.

"I'm ok I'm not really hungry but thank you , could you take my card and pull some cash from the ATM another $200 should pay Ty back the pin is 9291 hell pull out all that it will let you so I know I don't owe him anything and Javi could you take it to him please I really don't wanna see him, If he needs more just find out how much and pull it out" you say in a low voice handing Scott your card

"yeah y/n I'll give it to him" Javi said

"Sweetheart you have to eat something, so how bout we compromise I'll you get an order of those spicy tuna rolls we had last night and you can put them in the refrigerator for when you get hungry later hows that " Scott says running his hand through your hair

"ok" You smile up at your boyfriend with tears in your eyes

"Also keep your money I'll draw some out from my personal account for Javi to give him" Scott says handing back your card

"Scott no I cant let you do that, that's to much money you are already letting me stay in yalls room, I cant be a freeloader to yall too I have the money I promise"

"You are not a freeloader I want to do this for you, you've been through enough today, if it makes you feel better I'll let you buy me a coffee in the morning" Scott says with a wink

Before you can say another word Scott gives you a kiss before him and Javi leave, when you hear the door close behind you let the tears fall once again. What you thought was gonna be a great time with your brother has turned into a nightmare with your brother. You grab the remote and flip thru the channels until you land on some movie, you lay there watching it until you feel the morning catching up to you and you fall asleep

***********************************************************************

It's been about a month since your fight with your brother and he has been nonstop blowing up your phone but you were still so hurt that you just weren't ready to talk to him or see him. This was the longest time you have ever gone not talking to your brother and it was killing you, you missed your big brother but the words he yelled at you kept replying in your head. You also haven't done but 2 chases with Scott you have been mainly staying behind the scenes reading the data reports and radars for both teams again just another way to avoid your brother.

You moved hotels a few times and was back in a room to yourself, with some over night sleepovers with Scott. Things between you and Scott were going amazing and despite the fight with your brother you couldn't be happier. The two of you were still taking things slow nothing beyond some heated makeouts and getting a little handsy.

You were sitting in your room waiting for Scott to get done with their chase and texting Casey and Ashleigh in a group text

🩷Casey💛: Have you slept with him yet y/n😉

💛Ashleigh🩷: Oh I want details😉😉

Y/N: Yall no we have not had sex yet but plenty of making out and touching🫣

💛Ashleigh🩷: Is he a good kisser?

🩷Casey💛: And what do you mean touching?

💛Ashleigh🩷: Ohhhh I wanna know that too🤗

🩷Casey💛: Under the clothes or on top of the clothes🤔

💛Ashleigh🩷: Please tell us y/n we're your sisters and from the pictures you have sent he's so hot!🔥

Y/N: GIRLS lol ok ok I'll throw yall a bone, Yes is a very good kisser the best kisser EVER we spend hours making out😍, and as far as the touching its been a mix of both but we stop before it goes to far. But i love waking up in his arms he makes me feel safe like nothing bad can happen as long as hes beside me🥰

🩷Casey💛: AWWWWW my zeta bata little sis is in love ❤️ have you told him yet

💛Ashleigh🩷: I love LOVE❤️😁

Y/N: no I haven't said the words yet I don't know if he feels the same and I don't wanna scare him off I have never felt this way before I really see it all with him

🩷Casey💛: if you want my advice tell him the way you feel talk about him and the looks I see him giving you in all those pictures he totally feels the same, take a chance

💛Ashleigh🩷: I totally agree with Casey, you need to tell him you cant keep it in forever. Now have you and your hot brother made up yet?

Y/N: No thats a whole other story...

After another hour of texting your ZBZ sisters about the whole ordeal with your brother and what they are up too the door opens and Scott walks in looking tired but oh so sexy

"Hey babygirl " he greets you with a kiss on the forehead before putting his things down

"Hey baby" you smile standing up to wrap your arms around him pulling him down to your level in a heated kiss before pulling away and lightly pushing him down on the bed and straddle his lap.

"I like coming home to this baby"

"Oh well you are gonna love this" you say before running your hands through his hair and pulling him into another kiss this one with more passion and heat. He swipe his tongue over your bottom lip and you open granting him permission. He runs his hands up and down your back and under your shirt. You tug at his hair and a little moan slips out and you take advantage of and take his bottom lip between your teeth. Scott starts to kiss down your neck and nip at your pulses points and a moan leaves your mouth. All of a sudden Scott pulls away and looks at you.

"I love you y/n, I know it's only been a month and its ok if you don't feel the same but I couldn't go another second without telling you"

You stare at him in shock with tears forming before you speak up

"I love you too Scott"

Scott smiles back at you before flipping you on your back and hovers over you before pressing his lips to yours, in a kiss so heated and so full of passion your mind goes blank and the breath is stolen from your lungs. Just as things are really getting heated there is a knock at your door. You and Scott pull away and sigh as he rest his head on yours.

"I'll get it" you tell Scott as he rolls off of you and on to the bed.

You open the door and are face to face with your brother for the first time since your fight a month ago

"Tyler" you say arms folded over your chest

"I'm so sorry Jelly bean"

#scott miller x reader #david corenswet #glen powell #tyler owens #twisters #scott miller

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thebestofoneshots · 1 year ago

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Gilded Constellations | wolfstar x reader

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.2 K Warnings: none Prompt: What will happen when yet another full moon approaches, could things start to change? This IS a wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it.

ANOUNCMENT:

In a couple of weeks I'll make a Q&A to cellebrate Gilded Constellations reaching 100,000 K words. And I'd love for all of you to be a part of it. So send in your questions, they can be anything you want, things like: How did you get the idea? Where does inspo come from? writing tips (I mean I don’t know much but anyway), character design, fancast, fav characters, things about me, about my plot notebook, literally anything you want, ask away (just state: For Q&A event or something) <3

Chapter 13: “Rebel, Rebel.”

October, 22nd (Friday)

A week after the incident, your mom had already sent your old Viper, but the Nimbus company had yet to respond to your letter. You’d gotten used to your older broom pretty fast. Muscle memory must really be a thing, since the moment you mounted it, it was like you’d been doing it forever.

James was right, the Viper was a lot more stable than other brooms. More than Sirius’ SweepFire, and probably more than the Dark Nimbus itself. But it was slower, you’d already gotten used to the fast accelerations your Dark Nimbus had, and now you had to be extra attentive of the ball so you could make a move before it had enough time to get past you and onto one of the goals. Regardless of the slowness, the Viper was sturdier and heavier, which made it easier to do tricks like the backflip people still wouldn’t stop talking about. Last Tuesday you’d even attempted to surf on it, and you managed to do perfectly fine for a couple of meters until James spotted you and gave you the longest talk about being responsible and not doing stupid things, the hypocrite. But he was on captain mode and when he got on that mood it was absolutely useless to talk him out of it, so you nodded and promised you wouldn’t do it again, even if you probably would at some point.

You told Lily about dating Sirius as soon as you were feeling better, she asked you so many questions, from how it’d happen to how good were Sirius’ kisses. She had been told he was really good by a girl back in 5th year, and she wanted to know if it was true or if the girl was just obsessed with Sirius like most girls in school. You omitted the fact that you probably were just as obsessed with him as they were and confirmed that Sirius was indeed a good kisser, not that you’d kissed all that many people before, but still. The rest of your friends had slowly found out about your new relationship, be it for the way Sirius sat next to you a lot more often now, because his teasing and flirting had gotten a lot stronger. Or, in the case of Tom, because he’d accidentally found you snogging on an empty classroom, at least he just gave you a thumbs up, a cheeky smile, and whispered something like “Keep it going guys! You’re doing great”. Both you and Sirius had separated to laugh about it when Tom closed the door.

“You ready?” Sirius asked with a smile, pulling you from your thoughts. You looked at him with a daring face.

You know that thing you were told not to do a couple of days ago and you promised you wouldn’t? Well, that promise lasted exactly 4 days, 3 hours and a couple of minutes. James was busy with an essay he’d forgotten about, and you and Sirius had gone flying together, and unfortunately, neither of you had a clear enough sense of self-preservation when you were around each other. Especially not after someone said, “I dare you to…”

You were slowly standing over your broom, hands extended to try and keep your balance. Neither of you was flying too high, that way if you fell you wouldn’t get too hurt. Once you had managed to maintain your balance you nodded “Ready,” you said with a wink, and the two of you started broom surfing, picking up speed as you glided through the open fields of the school. As you were about to reach the finish line, you realized the grass was moving in a funny way right in front of you, and you frowned.

“Hey Sirius I think–“ you started, but it was too late, something had yanked both of your brooms down and caused you to tumble down to the grass. You’d fallen over and rolled a couple of meters while he’d fallen over something, or rather someone. As you looked up you realized he was right on top of Remus, who had popped out of nowhere (probably the invisibility cloak). As the two of them sorted themselves out you stood up quickly and looked around, spitting some of the grass that had gotten inside your mouth. And then you spotted them, Barty Crouch and Evan Rosier, hiding behind a stone wall. You took your wand out and pointed it at them. Evan seemed to pull back but Barty just smiled wickedly “The fuck is wrong with you?” You roared, already walking towards where they stood.

Barty walked head high towards you too “You saw them fall, Evan? It was hilarious!”

“Fall? You must be bIoody delusional if you think you’re going to trick me with that! I felt the way my broom was yanked down.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a smile “Do you Evan?”

Evan shook his head, as if Barty needed a sidekick to be vile.

“You’re begging for me to break your stupid nose again,” you replied as you looked at him impassively.

“I’d like to see you try,” he said smugly.

You pointed your wand at his face, but Remus stood in front of you, calmly placing his hand over the one you used to hold your wand and pushing it down a little, to prompt you to do it yourself.

Sirius stood still next to Remus, looking at Barty with hate, but keeping a strong grip on his wand.

“Remus what the–“

“–He’s provoking you,” he told you calmly “he wants you to react.”

“Yeah, well maybe I want to react,” you retorted, now slightly irritated at your friend’s actions. He just looked at you, shook his head calmly and softly ran his thumb over your forearm, still pushing it lightly down. If anyone knew about anger management it was Remus Lupin.

“Hey,” he said softly, looking at you straight in the eye, trying to get you to focus on him, rather than on Barty looking at you cockily from behind “Look at me luv,” he cooed, you looked at him for a second but turned your eyes back to Barty “I’m fine, Pads’s fine, you’re fine. There is no need to fight.”

“You could’ve gotten hurt, we could’ve–“

“–Listen to me. Don’t give him the satisfaction of rilling you up. You don’t want him to be the cause of Gryffindor losing points, do you? That’s probably why he’s–“

“–yeah, go ahead (Y/N), listen to your boyfriends, they know what’s best,” Evan taunted from behind, you clenched your jaw. But took a deep breath, finally lowering your wand. Maybe you should’ve put him in his place then and then, how different would things have ended up if you actually had?

“You know what Barty? Remus is right, you aren’t even worth my time.” You said standing straighter “At least be more creative with your petty jokes next time, all right? Maybe then you’d at least keep me entertained.” Then you turned around and used your wand to pull both yours and Sirius’ broom to your hands and walked back to the castle, lagging just a second so Sirius and Remus would walk by your side.

“I want to strangle him,” you told them once you thought the two Slytherins were out of earshot.

“You and me both,” Sirius agreed, taking his broom from your hands, but lingering as his fingers brushed over yours “I probably would have, had Remus not stopped me first.” You looked at him for a moment and then recalled, Sirius was still on top of Remus because of the fall when you speed-walked towards the two Slytherin boys. “And he’s right, the last thing we want is to start an open war in between us and his stupid gang.”

“But they already started it, we’re just not doing anything about it.” You reproached, still a little riled up, the urge to punch Barty was wearing you thin, “Anyway, I do not want to have detention while everyone’s enjoying themselves at the Halloween party next week.”

Remus smiled “How do you know about that?”

“Tom and Beth told me all about the party you guys always plan together, I’m already preparing my costume.”

“Is it gonna be a sexy Halloween costume, luv?” Sirius chimed in, leaning towards you with a little smirk on his face.

You pushed him back playfully “Ugh… don’t be such a dog!”

Remus laughed at that, “I’m sure you’d look pretty even in a sack of potatoes.”

“Yeah, in a very short one,” Sirius teased even further.

“If only my boyfriend was as much of a gentleman as his friend here,” you said with a playful sight.

“You clearly don’t know Moony’s dark side,” Sirius chimed.

You arched your eyebrows at that “And you do?”

Sirius was about to respond when Beth showed up, looking a bit agitated as If she had been running “There you are!” She said as she stood in front of the three “Professor Spellman wants to see us earlier today, something about a special announcement.”

You frowned “Right now?” You asked. She nodded.

“But we haven’t eaten!” Sirius complained.

“I don’t think it’ll take too much,” Beth said with a shrug, “But it did seem rather urgent.”

You nodded and the four of you started walking towards the North Tower. When you arrived, you realized they hadn’t exclusively called your class, in fact, the entire school year had somehow crammed inside the classroom. There were barely any sits left, when Tom saw Beth, he quickly waved to her and she went to sit besides him. You scanned the room and found only one table free, you rolled your eyes when you realized Evan and a Slytherin girl from his year whose name slipped your mind were sitting behind it. You looked at Sirius and pointed at the only free spot with a nudge of your head.

He rolled his eyes but the three of you walked towards the table, the boys pushed the two chairs together and you squeezed in between the two. Leaning ahead a little so they could accommodate their larger backs onto the chair. Sirius had placed his hand on your tight under the table, and you gave him a look, “I’m gonna fall if I don’t grab onto something,” he said with an innocent smile.

“Yeah, sure enough, Puppy,” you replied playfully.

“Hm… that’s the fifth from this week,” he said as he squeezed your tight.

Then you felt something pull your hair from behind. You turned around pissed and Evan was smiling “What? Did I ruin your cuddle time with your two boyfriends?”

You looked at him, but smirked “Why, you jelly?” You asked but didn’t give him enough time to reply, “You should know by now that my cuddle time knows no bounds. It's an exclusive club with a very long waiting list. But don't worry, I can squeeze you in somewhere between Tuesdays and never."

Evan’s face turned sour while Sirius looked at you with a proud smirk and Remus laughed, chest rumbling behind you. He was about to retaliate when Professor Spellman walked in. So you decided to piss him off even further “Shh honey…” you said as condescendingly as possible “Teacher’s about to speak,” finally you turned around with a smirk.

Remus gave you a side eye and placed his hand, palm facing up, just above your lap, raising his eyebrows, you understood what he meant in a second and high-fived him instantly, giving him a wink before leaning over the desk a little, to give the two boys some space.

When Spellman finally reached his desk, he gave you a stern look “Miss (Y/LN), why are you sitting between Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin?”

“There was nowhere else to sit,” you replied, motioning to the crammed classroom “I can sit on the floor if you want though.”

The Professor sighed but nodded, “That won’t be necessary, this won’t take too long,” he said, before waving his wand and letting a long banner unroll from the ceiling over the chalkboard.

It read: The Moon and the Stars

“As some of you who keep up with the astral cycle may know, next Sunday is full moon,” Spellman said, you felt Remus tense behind you, which made you frown, but the professor kept talking, and you ended up shrugging it off “And not only that, but a very interesting phenomenon will also occur, it will be a bIood moon, which makes it the perfect moment for an astrology class,” He said with a proud smile “You will all be excused from today’s class in exchange for 2 hours of your Sunday night.” There was a mix of groans and cheers in the classroom, from those who were happy about not having class, and those who were upset about having class on a Sunday “Class will start at 10 pm,” Spellman continued, not giving the children time to protest “bring your notebooks and telescopes, those who have their own. We will meet in the Astronomy tower. Any questions?”

A Ravenclaw boy raised his hand “What happens if we can’t make it?”

“I highly doubt you’ll have anything better to do on Sunday night Mr. Finchley,” the professor responded sassily. Remus, who looked like he wanted to say something, decided to let it go, and sank back on the chair. The professor waited a couple more seconds, to see if anyone else had a question, but upon no one’s answer he clapped his hands together “Excellent, you’re excused now. See you on Sunday.”

Sirius was the first one to stand up, letting you out through his side, while Remus seemed to be a little troubled. Your boyfriend placed a hand over his shoulder “It’s ok mate, we’ll figure it out,” he told him. You looked at the exchange with curiosity but it dissipated the moment Lily appeared out of nowhere and hooked her arm around yours.

“The girls and I are going to go prepare some droughts at the potions classroom now, hair and grooming stuff, you said you wanted to brew a special something for your Halloween costume, yeah?”

You nodded, Sirius raised an eyebrow “Special something?”

You smiled in response “If you guess it, I’ll give you a prize,” you said confidently, he would not guess your Halloween costume, even if he tried a thousand times.

“Anything I want?” He asked suggestively.

You laughed in response “Sure Puppy, anything you want,” you told him before walking out with Lily, the girls were waiting just outside the door.

“That was the 6th!” You heard Sirius say from behind.

Lily raised an eyebrow “What’s that all about,” she asked. You giggled in response “Let’s just say dear Sirius and I have a bit of an arrangement, I can call him Puppy whenever I want, but he gets some kisses in return.”

She laughed at your answer “Why aren’t I surprised?”

You shrugged with a smile, finally catching up with the girls “You wanted to make a glow potion, right?” Mary asked, “Like the one Marlene drank on her birthday?”

“Yup, I think I’ve got all the ingredients ready too,” you told her, checking the little rattan bag inside your backpack where you’d been placing all the necessary stuff.

Lily gave a small peak to the bag and frowned “I don’t think you’ve got glow-weed yet.”

Tom, who seemed to have shown up out of nowhere started to walk by Lily’s side “Why do you need weed?”

You laughed “Glow-weed,” Beth corrected “not weed, weed.”

“Hmmm… that’s not as fun.” He said, scrunching his nose a little “What for?”

“(Y/N’s) Halloween Costume,” Marlene answered casually.

“Oh, you’re gonna be a fairy or something?” He asked excitedly.

You paled at that and turned to him wide-eyed “If you tell Sirius Black about it, I’ll strangle you.”

“Cheeky,” he replied, leaning closer to you, which made you roll your eyes and push him back.

“Please don’t tell Sirius?”

“Why?”

“She promised Sirius a prize if he guessed. She specifically said anything he wanted,” Lily chimed in.

Tom looked at Lily and then turned his gaze back to you, impressed “So really cheeky then.”

“Toooom!” You whined.

“My lips are sealed,” he said, passing a hand over them as if he was zipping them and then placing his hand over his chest. How dramatic, you thought, but then again, you were the one dating Sirius Black, so who were you to judge?

“Why didn’t you just tell him about your costume?” Asked Beth.

You sighed “He was going on and on about sexy Halloween costumes, he would not stop bothering me if I did.” You responded simply, by then you were already outside the potions classroom. Professor Slughorn was in his office, and Lily had been the one inside and asked for permission to enter. He was more than happy to let you guys in to practice potions that he even gave Lily the key to the ingredients room, giving you free rein to use whatever you might need.

When Lily came out, shaking the key in her hand with a smile Marlene rolled her eyes “Teacher’s pet,” she teased.

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug “but, I just got our hands on the Ingredients Supply, and Slughorn said we could take whatever we wanted.”

“Sweet!” Said Tom as he took the keys from Lily’s hands and led all the way to the ingredients room. He took out a little paper from his pocket and started looking for some stuff, all the while you tried to find some of that glow-weed.

When you finally found it you looked at the combination of stuff he’d placed in his basket and narrowed your eyes at him in suspicion “That’s not for beauty products is it?”

He shook his head with a little smirk “I’m working on a little something,” he said, “also for the Halloween party.”

You raised your eyebrow, looking at the stuff he’d gathered so far “Essence of Laughing Lily, Blissberry Extract, Frolic Fizzweed Leaves, Lavender Essence, are you by any chance making–“

He shook his head and placed a finger over your mouth “–Shhhhh! If Lily busts us, we won’t be having any fun.”

You smiled complicity “Well then, keep working on your little magical project,” you said, and then leaned in closer to whisper “If you add Moonstone Shimmer, you can make the potion a bit more potent overall.” You raised your eyebrows and winked before walking back to the table on which you’d be working. Marlene was next to you, and she’d set herself to prepare a special hand cream since the weather was getting colder.

Beth was working on an enchanting hair serum that she’d run out of. And Lily said she was working on a “perfect curls potion,” also for the Halloween party.

“Would you mind borrowing me some of that on the Halloween party?” You asked her when she told you what she was working on.

She nodded “In fact, I’m making a lot extra,” she replied with a smile “To keep a stash on our bathroom.”

“You’re brilliant!” You told her with a smile.

“I’m working on some radiant complexion elixir, also for our bathroom,” Mary said. “We’re giving some of our stuff to Beth and she’s gonna borrow some of her hair stuff. We’ll all be stocked up in beauty products?”

“And you do this all the time?” You asked with a smile.

“A couple times a year, yeah,” said Marlene from her table.

“Genious, can I help with anything?”

“I was actually thinking of using some of your glow potion and add it to the one I’m making, for glowier hair,” Beth told you, you smiled and nodded.

“Oh, that would look amazing!” You agreed, “A bit on the radiant complexion would probably work wonders too.”

“Yes, it would!” Lily said with a nod. “And what are you working on Tom?” She asked, turning to the boy.

He turned to her like a deer trapped in headlights, and then crossed his eyes over at you, pleading for help “After shave lotion, right?” You said casually “So that the shave lasts longer, you mentioned?”

He nodded “Ye– yeah… I heard Remus complain about his freshly shaved face lasting nothing, and I thought, same mate. Decided to do something about it.”

You kept a tight smile as you gave him a look. Tom was a shitty liar. “Right! I’m sure that recipe James got you from Fleamont will be brilliant.” Tom nodded and went back to his preparations.

“Why would you need Frolic Fizzweed Leaves for an aftershave lotion?” Lily asked, more to herself than to the rest.

You shrugged “Must be one of those secret Potter family tricks,” you said with a shrug, and then smiled when you concluded it would be the perfect time to tease your friend “I’m sure if you married Potter your in-laws would be more than happy to tell you all about them.”

Lily gave you a reproachful look, but Marlene added to the conversation “It’d be great, that way they could get back the potion-making talent they lost on with James.”

“James isn’t bad at potions!” She said with a shrug, not quite thinking before she spoke.

Your smile grew “Really? Tell us all about your boy’s talents.”

“He’s not my boy.”

“Pretty sure he is, at least in his point of view,” added Tom as he mixed some things in his cauldron.

“Why don’t you guys tease (Y/N) with Sirius instead?” Lily said as she chopped some of her ingredients with a bit of a frown.

“They’re dating already, what is there to tease them about?” Mary said with a shrug, “If you want us to stop teasing you, you should just date Potter.”

You all laughed at that, but no one continued to tease poor Lily any further. As you went back to your table next to Marlene, you realized she was already mixing stuff in her cauldron. You figured most of your friends would be done with their potions before your next meal, so you decided to concentrate on your brew.

Getting the extract from the glow weed, was the most complicated part since it required an intricate spell and some special distillation skills, but you managed to do it after just a couple of tries. Once that was done, the rest of the potion was actually pretty simple, all you had to do was add the ingredients at the right time and mix according to the instructions. When you finished, you had a cauldron filled with glow potion, it had a golden colour, slightly bright, almost as if there was some light source hidden in the inside of it. You took out the crystal bottles you’d gotten for today and used a ladle to slowly pour the liquid onto them, placing some of the potion in a small bottle with a dropper, and handed it over to your friends so they could add their drops on the potions they’d made.

When you were done, everyone was pleased with their own potions, especially Tom, who had somehow managed to finish his mystery potion without anyone else figuring out what he was making, he placed it on a small crystal bottle with a golden cap and a transparent liquid. You all walked back to the dorms together and divided the little vials amongst Beth and your room. She wasn’t all that close with her roommates, so she took smaller, personal-sized potions while your room got the bigger vials and flasks. Once you placed your small bottle on your trunk, next to some of the other stuff you’d already prepared for your costume, you walked downstairs to wait for the girls in the common room, you grabbed the book Nina had lent you and sat on the couch. Tom came down and plopped down beside you minutes later.

“What are you reading?” He asked taking the book from your hands and reading the back cover “A spicy werewolf novel?”

“It was recommended.”

“Yeah, I bet,” he said with a bit of a cheeky smile and started flipping through the pages, stopping in on a page with a drawing of a shirtless man and eyeing it “Damn, he could rile me.” You raised an eyebrow, “Just look at him!”

You laughed at that “Didn’t know you liked boys.”

He shook his head “It’s not that I like them,” he said “I just don’t care if they’re boys, or girls, or anything…”

You nodded, thinking about it for a second “I think I don’t either.”

He gave you his signature bright smile and placed his arm over your shoulder, bringing you slightly closer to him “Welcome to the club!”

“Are there many others like us in the school?”

“You’d be surprised, most of them hide it quite well though, you wouldn’t expect it, you know a few, but it’s not for me to tell. We Brits are pretty open-minded you see.”

You nodded, “Definitely better than in my old school.”

When the girls finally came downstairs you all walked out of the common room together, and you stayed with them until you had to split ways since they’d taken a different extracurricular. You walked half of the way to your classroom when you spotted Remus walking by himself, who also walked towards the classroom, so you picked up your pace and caught up with him “Nice to see you again, Rem!” You told him with a smile.

“How did potion making go?” He asked politely.

“Excellent, my costume is almost ready!”

“You’re really going big with it, aren’t you?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

You nodded “It’s my first Halloween at Hogwarts, you guys have set the bar pretty high according to Marlene, I’ve gotta match those high standards.”

“She said that?”

You nodded “She told me all about your costumes from previous years, how last Halloween you dressed up as the teachers, McGonagall was mortified when she saw Prongs with an exact replica of her green robes.”

Remus laughed, remembering that moment “Yeah, she did.”

“What about you? What are you dressing as this year?”

He sighed, “Frankly, I don’t have a plan yet, last year was Pads’ idea, and we all followed through, but this year he had a pretty rough summer break and didn’t plan any group costumes, we’re all making our own.”

“I think you should be a pirate!” You told him simply.

“A pirate?”

“You’ve got the sexy pirate vibe going on already, why not?” You asked with a shrug.

“Sexy pirate vibe?” He asked in disbelief.

You nodded “Ask anyone, they’ll confirm it.”

“Confirm what?” James asked as he caught up with the two of you

“That Remus looks like a sexy pirate.”

James raised his eyebrows at your words, looking a little impressed, and then turned to his friend “Hmmm…. Yeah, I see it.”

“See? Told you! It was literally the first impression I got from you.”

“When I went to pick you up at Dumbledore’s office?” He asked, rather confused.

You shook your head “No! When we you bumped into me at the station. I saw you, and instantly came flashbacks of those spicy novels with shirtless men on the cover.”

When James heard it, he laughed like a madman, you were right, Moony definitely had the type. “Yours would have you, holding onto the ship’s mast with a barely buttoned white shirt, and the title would be something like The Beast Within,” James said in between laughs.

Remus gave James a warning look, but you were too occupied gasping at James’ boldness “Are you implying Remus is a beast in bed, Merlin! James, I did not expect you to be cheating on Lily with your best friend!”

Now it was Remus’ turn to laugh, James’ dumb joke had turned on him “Yeah James, please explain how you’d know anything about my nightly activities… I could be a gentle lover for all you know.”

“I don’t know about that,” you teased “You do give off the beast in bed vibe.”

Remus gasped “I’m the chillest of the group.”

You nodded “It’s always the quiet ones,” you said with an air of mystery.

When you arrived at the classroom, the three of you struggled to gain back composure and to calm down after the fit of laughter you’d caused each other. Remus went to sit beside Sirius, the first thing he did, was ask him what they were all laughing about, and after being told the story he ended up agreeing with you on two of the things said, First: Remus had to dress as a pirate now, there was no other option. Second: Moony would definitely be a beast in bed.

Saturday came and went, this time you actually got to go to Hogsmeade for the first time, even if it was more of a business run than a pleasure one, the boys were so focused on getting all the stuff for the party ready that you barely even saw Sirius while you were in town. You spend most of the day with the girls, jumping from shop to shop to get some of the last bits you needed for everyone’s costume. Mary was going to go the easy route, she decided she’d dress as a kitten, her plan was to grab some cat ears and a tail, and enchant them to move like those of a real cat would.

Marlene was going to do a matching costume with Holden, they’d both go as Sonny and Cher from the video “I Got You Babe”. Marlene had even gotten her hands on a long black wig and a small fur coat. And Holden had actually bought a hair-lengthening potion to match the look. You were certain the two of them would look incredible in their outfits. Beth was going to dress as an astronaut since she was very passionate about space exploration and some of the newer muggle technology advancements. Tom was going to dress up as a vampire and had convinced you to help him charm his canines to look like fangs.

James tried to persuade Lily to do a couple’s costume with him, but she refused every single time he asked, in the end, she decided she’d go as Ophelia, from Hamlet. When James found out he asked Remus to give him a short summary of the story and decided he’d be dressing up as Hamlet, to match with Lily even if she wasn’t expecting it. You honestly considered warning him against it, but he seemed so hopeful and they would look absolutely adorable in the photos so you decided against it. Peter said he’d dress as Edmund Pevensie, from "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” a book he had read when he took the muggle literature with Remus in 4th year, he’d convinced Teddy Hawthorn to dress as Peter, Annabeth Doxon to be Susan and a girl who you hadn’t met yet to be Lucy.

Since you didn’t tell Sirius what you were dressing as, he decided he wouldn’t tell you either, so both of your costumes would be a surprise to each other.

Unfortunately, your visit to Hogsmeade was so hectic, like everyone else’s, that you didn’t even have time to visit any of the restaurants your friends always talked about, you did see the Three Broomsticks from afar, it seemed like a nice and cozy little pub, very English in its type. Tom mentioned they made mean Beef Pasties and even if you weren’t quite sure they were, the way he described them them made them seem utterly delicious. He promised to treat you to some next time you went to Hogsmeade.

By Sunday, you were all spent, dedicating a good deal of the day to work on your costumes, Hagrid had gifted some pumpkins to Peter and you were carving along with him and Remus in the common room, Beth was gluing some patches to her astronaut costume and Lily worked on adding some details to her dress. James and Sirius were up in their dorm, since James had to work on his secret Hamlet costume, and Sirius on his own secret costume.

“How does it look,” you said as you turned around your pumpkin for Peter to see it.

He winced when he saw it, but was too nice to say anything negative about it “It’s… a little wonky, it… uh… works with the Halloween theme?”

You laughed in response and pulled out the book of practical spells Nina had lent you, being sure there had to be something useful there.

“Want some help?” Remus asked politely, taking your pumpkin and using a small blade to straighten some of your cuts.

You placed a hand over his shoulders and thanked him before going back to the book, still trying to find a useful spell, but there wasn’t exactly a Halloween section on the index. When you turned back to look at your pumpkin, Remus had already finished up refining it and it looked incredible.

“That’s… Remus, you’re incredible with your hands!”

“That’s what she said,” Peter said, almost automatically.

You gasped “Peter!” you said as a little smile drew from your lips. He looked up from his pumpkin mortified, you giggled “Didn’t know you had it in you to make dirty jokes.”

“You do remember I literally sleep in the same room that Sirius, right? The ability just rubs into me,” he told you with a little smile. You laughed along with Remus.

You heard some steps from behind and finally saw both Sirius and James walk down the stairs, Sirius casually leaned closer to you and placed a fast kiss on your lips before turning to Moony. You realized he had some glitter on his hair and passed your hand over it to shake it off as he spoke “Ready to go Moons? Pete?”

Remus checked his watch, and nodded “Yeah, I should probably get going, I’ll see you guys there?”

Peter nodded, “I’ll stay here for a couple minutes more, I want to finish this pumpkin, but I’ll be there.”

“Excellent, it’s settled then.”

Sirius finally turned to you, since you were still fluffing his hair “You done love?”

You shook your head “haven’t seen you much this weekend,” you said with a pout, not quite wanting to take your hands off his head.

He smiled and tilted his head just a little “Don’t tempt me, I’ll end up staying.”

You laughed at that, but you knew how important the marauder’s jokes were, so you shook your head “Go ahead trouble, I’ll see you at divinations, yeah?”

He gave you a look and shrugged with a smile on his face, before giving you a wink and running out behind Peter and James, who had already walked out of the portrait.

“You’re not planning to skip divinations, are you?” You asked Peter, who gave you an awkward smile in reply.

“And Remus just said yes?”

Peter seemed a little nervous at your question, but you didn’t quite understand why he would be “We…. Um— It’s very important business.”

You frowned, a little unconvinced but nodded, deciding not to question him further, “Ok then, I’ll cover for you lot. I’ll tell Spellman you ate something at Hogsmeade yesterday and that you’re feeling dreadful or something.”

Peter finally met your gaze “You’d do that for us?”

“Of course I would!” You said, as if it was obvious “You’re my friends, I’d cover for you any day.”

Peter smiled “You’re the best!”

You and Peter cleaned the table and placed the pumpkins near the window before he left. Once he was gone you moved closer to the girls, both Beth and Lily were still working on their costumes, “Need any help?” You asked politely.

Lily shook her head, but Beth responded “Yeah, can you pass me some of those patches please.” She said as she pointed at the table filled with patches, you carefully picked them up and handed them over. Letting yourself fall on the couch once you were done. You picked up the book Nina had lent you, the spicy novel this time, and finally started to read through it. You’d actually enchanted the cover since clearly it called everyone’s attention with the original one. Now it looked like a copy of a regular old spell book.

“Uh… I’m gonna feel bad if you keep studying while I’m working on a costume.” Lily Pouted from her place on the floor.

You chuckled “I’m not actually studying though, It’s a spicy romance book Nina lent me, the cover was a bit extra, so I charmed it.”

Lily gasped, with a smile drawing on her lips as she did. “You sly fox!”

You smiled at that, laughing as you said “Oh… trust me, you’ve got no idea.”

“And.. Is it actually spicy?” Beth asked, not looking up from her costume.

You shrugged, “Not sure, haven’t even met the main love interest so far, I’m barely starting the book. But I’ll tell you if it’s good.” You told her before going back to read. Every now and then they would ask you for small favors like holding the fabric for a second or passing something that was closer to you than it was to them. It was nice to just chill with the two redheads for a while.

After some time Mary and Marlene came from the stairs, you pulled your head from the book and turned to the girls “Is it already time for class?” You asked, surprised.

Mary nodded “9:30, you see?”

“We should probably start walking there, in case the stairs decide to be funny today,” you said as you stood up.

Both Lily and Beth grabbed their costumes and carefully sat them over a table, you wrote a small note and placed it over them, so that other Gryffindors wouldn’t grab them by accident, or after trying to admire them. Once it was done, you started walking towards the class, Tom caught up with you halfway there, and you all arrived at the astronomy tower with a couple of minutes left. Professor Spellman was already there, and a couple of students were pulling out their own telescopes as well, Tom included among them. The moon was already starting to. fade. According to Tom, who wouldn’t shut up about the way the BIood Moon worked “The moon will almost disappear completely before we can see it again, and when we do, it will turn red.”

He seemed so fascinated by the event you decided not to tell him you’d read all about it on the pages of the divination book Professor Spellman had you read for today’s class. At some point a Hufflepuff boy walked closer to Tom, smiling brightly as he greeted him “How’s it going Tom?”

Tom smiled back at him “Brilliant, I was just telling (Y/N) here about the mechanisms of the BIood Moon.”

“Really? I’d love to hear all about it!” The boy said with a smile.

You gave Tom a look, raising an eyebrow, he just smiled and winked in return, “Right! I’m sure Tom will know lots about it, I think Marlene’s calling me. See you boys around!” You said, giving Tom a knowing look, and letting the two boys flirt by themselves.

You were about to walk towards Marlene, when you heard the same howls from the time when you’d gone to the greenhouses with Lily, a lot further away this time, but the same nonetheless. So instead, you turned around and walked to the window closest to the sound. When you reached, you leaned over the edge just a little, to try and see better, but there was nothing but an endless sea of trees, wherever the things making the sound were, they must have been very deep inside the dark forest. Then you felt someone push you over the balcony violently, just to pull you back again with a vicious grip on your shirt “Careful, you may fall,” you heard Evan’s stupid voice as he pretty much pulled you towards his chest, you could feel his hot breath on your neck, disgusting, you wonder how it was possible that you’d considered him attractive at some point.

You turned around quickly, forcing him to loosen his grip on your shirt “What the hell Rosier?” You hissed. He was not alone either. Severus was on his side and another boy, who you quickly identified as Mulciber. He was taller with a tank-like complexion, that contrasted with Rosier’s softer looks as water did with oil. You stood your ground, even if you wanted to step back “Awww… did you have to bring your bodyguards along? Too scared to face lil’ old me by yourself?” You mocked, “Don’t worry, I can take Frankestine and Slimmy on any day of the week.”

“What the fuck did you just call me?” Mulciber said, taking a step forward.

“Offf, sorry! Guess I should have used a reference a little more keen to your level of knowledge.”

Evan scoffed, “Do you think it’s a good idea to make fun of him?” He said as he tilted his head, pulling back a little and giving the room a once over “especially without your boyfriends here to protect you.”

“Please, as if I needed anyone to protect me from you lot. Barty’s fan #1, Lily’s simp and Mr. Big guy” you laughed “you’re joke.” Ok, in hindsight, maybe you were pushing it a bit too hard. But you were not going to let them intimidate you.

Evan grabbed you by the collar and pushed you towards the railing again, you grabbed onto the handle, knuckles white with the force you were using, but you eyed him with a bravery you didn’t know where the hell you’d gotten from. You looked around and smiled, people were crowding up around you “You sure you wanna do that, luv? We’ve got a bit of a crowd here, too many witnesses, right? All though, I’m sure you’d fit in perfectly fine in Azkaban.” He seemed tempted to drop you, but eventually, he let go and pulled back. You smiled and straightened your uniform “Yeah, I thought so.”

“This is not over,” he threatened.

“Bring more henchmen next time,” you mocked with a smile. When he was gone, you turned around to the forest again, taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, and looking at the possible fall you could’ve gotten. It would most certainly be mortal.

Lily pushed through the crowd to reach you, looking at you filled with worry once she caught up “What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)? All that bravado was gonna be worth for nothing had he actually pushed you.”

“He wasn’t going to push me.”

“He’s insane, he could have,” she argued.

“Not in front of so many people.” You insisted, “Not without stupid Barty Crouch around, he’s the only reason Evan’s got anything against me.”

“That was the only reason,” Lily corrected “You insulted them out in the open for the entire class to hear.”

“They came pushing me into the railing first. I was not going to cry for help.”

“Ughhh….” She said exasperated, and then pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, “Just promise me you won’t go facing those assholes by yourself. Please don’t be as stupid as the boys.”

You sighed and returned the hug “I will not go chasing after them Lily, I promise.” You said, and you really did not intend to do it.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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yutasbimil · 26 days ago

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gryffindor!beomgyu x fem!hufflepuff!reader ft. slytherin!jaemin | txt ft. nct dream ff. ✦ (6/8) [series fic] !!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here } tags: fluff cw: friendship/love, bestie-lovers energy, frenemies vibe, friends to lovers, lots of bantering, tutoring, teasing, crushes, confessions, jealousy, tension, slow burn, unrequited love, love triangle, hurt-comfort, eventual smut lol, break up, eventual happy ending, FLUFF!!! ! not that comfy w/ 2nd POV, but hope 3rd POV is good for y'all ♡ word count: 1.8k

It didn’t help with Yumi’s spiraling state that Jaemin broke up with her.

Well, this was her on the last days of the previous semester.

Now, it’s just the beginning of their final school year, they’re all gathered up in the Great Hall when the topic is brought up.

“What was the reason?” Bora asked.

Yumi shrugs, just sad, but it was great while it lasted. “And we’re on good terms, so no worries.”

“That’s not exactly what I’m worried about, Yumi-yah.” Bora pouts, sighing as she looks too solemn for her own good. And for her to leave out the details? Not exactly in character for Lee Yumi.

“I’ll be fine.” Yumi pressed. “It’s great that we tried…”

They only got together for a few months? The three months were more than good enough really.

Yumi shuffles a bit in her seat, fiddling her fingers nonchalantly. “It happened over the course of summer… we eventually faded away then broke up.”

Distance was the problem? Meh.

“That’s dramatic.” Soobin comments, making Bora nudge him hard at his snark tone.

Yumi took no mind of it as it was, indeed, a bit of a dramatic way to put it.

Throughout the summer, it just so happens that when Beomgyu got injured, it was the end of the semester. It gave time for him to focus on healing. It also gave a chance for Yumi, and some of the gang to spend some time hanging out due to proximity, staying in the same city.

Unlike her and Jaemin… but it’s better off this way.

It helped how she got distracted throughout the summer and just focused on herself.

“Finally, she woke up,” Yeonjun mutters, making Taehyun immediately elbow his side. Soobin and him surely are of the same feather. His mouth is truly something else. Even if you yank out the sleep-deprived part of him right now.

Nothing is new though.

Beomgyu is still nowhere in sight. Or does he already know?

Soobin ponders but immediately brushes off the thought incoming. Nah, they wouldn’t approve that he immediately makes a move on her after a breakup. And they know enough he has respect for Yumi to not be an A-hole like that to take advantage of her vulnerability.

Wait, how did the thought go to Beomgyu—

“So it was mutual? The breakup or…?” Taehyun rolled the dice.

“Oh…” Yumi blinks, oddly surprised as it’s not an obvious thing to be picked up. “Jaemin called it off, but we talked it through properly before parting ways.”

The boys looked at each other, exchanging brain cells of what they may be feeling off of what might have happened. Bora slightly picks up the radar as easily as she picks up her food using her chopsticks.

There’s something…

Speak of the devil.

Beomgyu joins in, already recovered. Just as if nothing happened as he just casually sits down and joins them all composed.

“You preparing for the big test?” His eyes are directed at the dispassionate Yumi.

The moment he joins in, this is his upfront greeting.

“It’s the start of the school year, Beomgyu.” Her bland response aligns with her unenthusiastic expression. She rolls her eyes as Beomgyu continues to elbow her energetically. “Yeah, yeah… I know we’re graduating so we need to take it seriously with the N.E.W.T.s. coming…”

He pursed his lips, taking it down a notch seeing her not matching energy levels.

As if his mask was stripped off, Beomgyu just shrugs, passively as he levitates some food onto his plate. “Just keeping you back up to pace, chum. How about we get you some tutoring from your good ‘ol Mr. Choi, hmmm?”

“Urgh, he’s loud as fuck.” It managed to slip a slight smirk off her lips, she heavily sighs as Yumi noticed herself give in. “Again, I know this is your usual tactic to lighten me up. But get back to me after a week or two, then I’ll get to ya, Mr. Choi.”

“Ouch, treated as a business partner.” Beomgyu scorned, he crossed his hands. “As if you didn’t tend me last summer vacation.”

“Not in the mood, Gyu.” Yumi rolls her eyes, chomping harshly like the meat in her mouth. “I haven’t rejected your offer yet.”

“Well…” The conversation between them quickly died down. Amid their little bubble, the guys’ eyes on them are wide as they exchange looks. So it’s Beomgyu who will replace Yumi’s “tutor”?

It’s a way to distract each other, and Beomgyu knows and they know that she needs to get back on track. Like, this is nothing out of the ordinary, this was the usual even before being involved with Jaemin. They gather as a group and have their weekly study sessions. And it’s better now that they're more accustomed to their academics than last year. They can focus more properly now.

Them hanging out together as a group helped tremendously as it was easier for them to keep on track. But one rainy day, it just so happens that Yumi and Beomgyu were left alone; just the two of them.

“Finally decided to be my friend again?” Beomgyu speaks, his hand on his waist as Yumi approaches them. Yeonjun and Soobin are with him as if sending them off.

She perks her brow at the sudden attack. “I was always your friend, what the fuck?”

“Not that I was feeling any of it, doofus.” He purses his lips, emphasizing the cold treatment on their group sessions. She was there but not quite the most pleasant towards him. The two weeks in business days was just unbearable for him.

Soobin and Yeonjun weren’t having any of it.

“Aish, we’re already graduating and y’all still run your mouths?” Yeonjun had his face scrunched up.

Soobin quickly brushes them off.

“Just don’t go strangling each other. We’re heading off to the fields now.” He says, waving off as if telling off his kids.

Yeonjun has Quidditch practice, and before they walk away, he’s as if gawking his eyes out as he points his fingers to his eyes and then to the two. Most especially at Beomgyu.

But Ah yes, the air is different. Like there’s a lingering tension. A different tension, like different.

Yumi didn’t take any mind off any of this, just letting off Beomgyu as he took her books from her to carry. And off they went to the library.

It’s not a big of a deal.

Beomgyu is also knowledgeable of the subject they’re tackling for today’s agenda. They can manage even if the others have their personal plans.

What’s different today? Was it the mild mildewy air? The rain pattering filtering the atmosphere that it added to one's desire for warmth at the drop of temperature?

As opposite the heated gazes they spat at each other, the shift made them stir to a familiar memory lane. The array of books displayed across the shelves may be to blame. They may not withstand the amount of stories untold in each page, they would want to continue and preserve their memories like books.

Ah, the entrapment of flowery words. A poet is damned.

Yumi found herself lost in a garden of words as she scribbled nonsense in her notebook. But she had to be engulfed back to reality.

They were serious but something seemed off with the vibes, now that she thought about it— or is it because they touched a subject of sentiment?

There was a sudden pull of nostalgia in each other’s eyes. The closeness of her breathing altered his thought process, she’s too close, he felt her alluring warmth.

Beomgyu had to swallow back an abrupt nerve of agitation.

“You frustrated me,” she told Beomgyu. Yumi was so caught up looking at her lap that she didn’t get to see the aftermath of what her staring did to the Gryffindor guy.

“I just miss us being in the feel of it in our usual antics back then.” Yumi best managed to construct the ache in her chest. There was a feeling of loss; as if it could never be brought back; not in the same intensity of emotion as in the past. Their lenses were not that clouded with the vision they have right now that they have grown past that certain youth threshold.

As much as Beomgyu sees Yumi’s perspective, he has a different take on it. Spinning his Muggle pen of a contraption, a slight laughter escaped his lips.

“And that isn’t a bad thing?” He says as normal and expected to harbor such fear or whatever anxiety occurs in one's heart at some point. “We’re also here to create new memories together, at least we’re here, right?”

She had to pause, looking at the said source of the words to seep in its meaning and its meaning from her best friend’s heart.

Yumi faintly smiles. “That’s a nice way to put it.”

As gloomy and frigid as the ventilation in the vast room brings, it wavered a different tinge of light for Yumi on how she views Beomgyu at this moment. Now that they’re graduating… they expect that they have matured now. Hopefully.

But still clueless, as it seems.

In the midst of the crowded library, Jaemin sees quite a deafening atmosphere between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor’s resolved focus. Even as Yumi and Beomgyu both had their lips sealed, their strong gazes in their own little force field said otherwise.

Jaemin subdued himself behind an adjacent bookshelf, not making his presence known nor daring to break the bubble the two created.

He admits, there was still a flutter of butterflies seeing a glimpse of the familiar girl in his sight, they had a bond at some point after all. But he’s mostly okay now; assured even as he sees her accompanied by the reliable lion in her stead.

If you were Jaemin, one may feel it’s better off, especially since he can see that Yumi and Beomgyu are more deserving to be together.

Like Gurl, from miles away from just watching them, you can pick up how they’re running in circles on how they interact with each other. Years of playing cat and mouse even…

And I just can’t bring myself to go in between that further.

Mostly Jaemin is just looking back at the good times with Yumi. He shakes his head in amusement.

Yeah, they’re both idiots in love.

Jaemin is lowkey rooting for them to end up together soon.

He sees the way Beomgyu is looking at her, for so long, it’s hard to ignore and deny he’s down bad.

It’s not hard to spot a fellow guy liking someone. And it’s not just when she was his girlfriend… Even before, Jaemin noticed. He kinda feels bad he shoot his shots, but it’s fine they tried.

It worked till it didn’t.

He and Yumi decided on their differences; they didn’t have chemistry other than the physical and wits aspect. Jaemin enjoyed the times and decided to end on good terms, parting ways.

※ my masterlist | #enjeiwrites ※

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madamealys · 26 days ago

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Imagine you are well taken care of… by Aegon II.

(I)

(+21)

***

You and him have been once rivals, friends and further to it, you share blood. After all, he’s your cousin via his mother and since cradle you’ve been raised together.

Aegon knows you well. And too well in fact. He’s been keeping an eye on you since you’ve flourished to a woman few could be compared to. And that you have noticed that he’s been lingering in his gaze towards you only makes you dress tighter gowns to reinforce your curves.

One of these days, he comes after you. You are reading in the library in that typical secretive spot where no one knows you like to spend your leisure times, but him.

He watches you from afar. Your auburn locks are falling loose and your heart shaped face looks stern. Your eyes are focused in the lines that have your full attention.

“So beautiful”, he whispers to himself, remembering the night before when he touched himself thinking of you.

When looking at the swell of your breasts, his wanting for you only pains his manhood. He still recollects your teasings too. The day he saw you bathing in the lake… Oh please, the smirk you gave him when he saw you. And yet you played coy, didn’t you?

Aegon wants more than this constant sexual play: that’s been happening with the two of you. So here he is, to get your full attention he steals your book away of your hands.

“Aegon!”, you protest, blushing at his intrusive.

“Come on, let me see what you’ve been reading…”

You panic, because what you read is…

“Oh!”, Aegon raises his eyebrows, eyes glinting with mischief. “Looks like someone here is reading a forbidden nov about two lovers doing… unholy things.”

Indeed his eyes capture the description of the act. How the knight makes sure to ease the lady’s needs. As he reads it, Aegon not only goes red, but he’s also painfully more aroused than before.

You read his expressions and you share his sentiments. You come to realize that there’s no more time to play this game. And yet… what do you know about it?

“Well…”, He puts the book on the table before going towards you, pressing you against the wall. As he touches your face, he sees how tense your body is now. “If this is what you wanted me to do, you should have asked me…”

“Aegon, a lady does not request.”

“Nay”, he agrees mischievously, smiling at you in a way that every pride you have left is knocked down. “She commands.”

And so he kisses you at long last. His lips press against yours in a fervent kiss, despaired after long years repressed under false rivalries. It burns and it aches, but thankfully here his experience is an advantage for you.

As he lips go to your neck, you permit his hands to slide from your neck to your breasts before lifting your skirts.

“Please, Aegon”, you beg him, even though you know you shouldn’t. Your conscience admonishes against the sin of whoring, but when his tongue does wonderfulness to your neck and chest, where has it gone?

“To my lady, fuck. I shall be the most devoted master.”

Finally his fingers find way to your womanhood. And when feeling the warmth in it, Aegon groans so low that you feel so more aroused. You burn and you shake as he moves with his two fingers, deep and slow, soaked as a result.

“Oh Gods be good! I’m damned.” You moan, pulling him hair and making him look at you.

Eyes locked for one moment and Aegon cannot look away of the sight of you, begging for him. No more the prideful and shrew lady. No. A very humbled damsel.

“No. I’ll take you to the paradise, my lady.”

Right as your legs shake and you are about to come undone, he goes to his knees. And before you know, his tongue replaces his skillful fingers and sucks every juice that comes to his mouth. His poor shaved beard tickles and you find yourself struggling to keep yourself composed.

Reason has little need to hold the reins of your rioting heart. Your hips move almost unconsciously against his face as he dives his tongue around your clit, swirling around it and sucking it, sucking it, over and over until…

“AEGON!”

You shouldn’t cry out like that, so unlady like, but your legs shake and you feel so good when feeling this very long tension being turned into butterflies in your low belly.

And devoted as he is, he takes every bit of your juice, stroking your legs kindly, and not quaking away of your sensual moves, for now you feel so confident about almost twerking into his mouth.

“Gods, I love the way you are right… right there”, you moan sensually, ignoring that all the whilst you do so, he’s pulled his length out of his pants and started stroking himself.

And it’s when somewhere you are coming again that your eyes meet. Now bonded by lust, you and him share a secretive smile.

“Rise, my love. Let me reward you.”

It is so unnatural flattering to be looked at the way you look at him. And here you lean and start stroking his manhood as you kiss him, ignoring every rule of decency.

It would all go to worst, indeed, had a noise not been heard.

So abruptly and mostly unfortunately, you and him are forced to part and quickly fix yourselves. But one last look leaves an unanswered question in the air:

For how long will this continue?

#aegon ii smut #aegon ii targaryen smut

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smoooothoperator · 11 months ago

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untouchable

07: It'll Be Okay

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: fluff, heart opening talks

a/n: this chapter took me longer than I expected to write because I couldn't find a moment to focus. But here you have it!!

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Every way of feedback is very welcomed

It felt weird. Not having Eloise or Harry around feels different, and not explaining things to Eloise makes it worse.

The moment the taxi drove away I went to my room, closing the door behind me and sitting on the bed looking at the window. The snow started to fall, slowly, making a perfect picture of the landscape. It was inevitable to not grab my phone and take a picture of it.

Questions started to form in my mind. Are they mad with me? Do they feel betrayed? Does Eloise feel betrayed? Harry… I don't want him anymore. He showed me minutes ago his true self, a person that won't doubt betraying his friends only to have what he wants and have the control of everyone. But Eloise… She doesn't deserve a man like him. Or maybe she's like him and knows everything, not wanting to help me and betraying me too just to be with him.

Two knocks on the door of the room interrupted my thoughts, making me shake my head and take a deep breath.

“Come in!” I said, not tearing away the eyes from the window.

“Oh damn, this is indeed the best room in the house” Pietra said, making me smile and look at her. “Are you okay?”

“I don't know” I smiled weakly, watching her sit on the bed next to me and rest her back on the wall. “I guess it's too much information in the last few hours…”

“How much do you know?” she asked, taking a look around the room.

“Well… Lando confessed his love for me last night” I said, and somehow I felt my cheeks burning at the memory of it. “And before that I had an argument with Harry through the phone, that's when he told me that Lando loves me. Then I just discovered that Lando is my secret admirer, so he bought practically half of my bookshelf back at home. He told me that Harry kept me away from him, making sure that he never talked to me. And he told me what he did, how he tried to forget me and that Harry wanted to blackmail him”

“Yeah… I knew half of these things” she smiled weakly. “I never trusted Harry, he never gave me good vibes. When I started dating Max and then I started to hang out with all of you, I saw the way Harry always was between you and Lando. At the start I didn't find it weird. But then, instead of looking at Harry, I started to look at Lando and how quiet and sad he was when you were there. At first I thought it was a coincidence, the a s time went by, he started to act cold and mean when you were there”

“I thought that he didn't like me there” I said. “That he didn't want me there with them, that I was an outcast of the group. But I guess that it was what Harry wanted, making me think that none of you wanted me there so I never got close to Lando and having me for himself”

“And how are you feeling now?”

“I actually have no idea” I sighed. “I just feel that I live on a lie. That Harry made me see what he wanted me to see and he treated me however he wanted. I don't even know if Eloise is my friend anymore. God knows what he is telling her right now to make her cut strings with me”

“I'm sorry” she smiled weakly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to her. “But hey, you have us. If you feel sad or you need a hug, you have the three of us here”

“Is it bad if I say that I don't know what to do around Lando?” I said, smiling weakly. “I told him that I wanted to take it slow, that I accept his feelings towards me. But I just… I want to be happy”

“Then give him a chance to make you happy” she said. “I'm not saying it because he's my friend, but because I saw how much he had to hold back around you. He wants to cherish you, to make you smile. And that's something beautiful. Maybe let him do it, don't hold back. I saw you two downstairs while having breakfast and you were so relaxed around him. Just stay that relaxed, he will follow your pace”

I nodded and sigh, resting my head on her shoulder. No holding back, that's what she says. And somehow it sounds good, knowing that my own body didn't hold back about holding his hand or being close to him.

“You want to help me pack the lunch for today?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure”

We stood up and then I hugged her, thanking her for being with me. Pietra felt more like a friend than Eloise. Maybe I chose the wrong people to be friends with, maybe I belonged to this group.

Lando and Max were somewhere, I could hear their voices and laughs. I smiled, realizing that I heard for the first time Lando's true laugh.

“It's been a long time since I heard that laugh” Pietra said next to me. “I guess that sending Harry away and talking to you made him take a weight out of his shoulders”

“I'm glad” I nodded.

We packed snacks and things to take with us, since we wanted to spend the whole day outside.

After packing lunch, Pietra and I went to where they were laughing, finding them throwing snowballs at each other, laughing and running around.

“They are like kids” Pietra chuckled.

“I never saw him act this way” I said, crossing my arms on my chest. “So… carefree”

“Every time you were around he was portraying a mask” she sighed. “A mask of someone he never was. It was like he was another person…”

“All because of Harry” I sighed, nodding. “I have to learn how to be around him. I just… I will give him a chance, to see what happens”

“You will?” she smiled.

“Yeah, but… I want to know him first. I want to know how it feels being around him and how I am around him. I don't want to jump into a relationship and then regret it” I sighed. “I just want to give him all of me as much as he gives me all of him”

“That's so mature, you know?” Pietra said, looking at me and back at the two men playing outside. “I always knew you were someone that had both feet on the ground, knowing what to do and I admired it so much. And hearing you talk right now, just after what happened with Harry and all… I'm happy to say that you are my friend”

“Yeah, well…I keep things to myself too” I sighed.

Max and Lando came back inside after a while, both of them covered in snow and with their cheeks and noses tinted in a soft shade of pink. Lando was smiling so wide, a smile that was easy to copy when he looked at me.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, brushing his hair with his fingers to remove the snow from it.

“I have been better” I smile weakly.

“And you'll feel better” he nodded. “You'll see. I'll be okay"

I smiled when he took a step closer to me and pressed his lips on my forehead, a gesture we started to do yesterday and I knew it was so intimate, and yet I didn't care if he did that. Feeling his hand cupping my jaw when he kissed my skin was something that warmed my chest in a comfortable way.

“Are you ready?” he asked.

I nodded and he smiled, looking behind my shoulder. The two backpacks were on top of the kitchen table with snacks for the four of us.

“Do you wear warm clothes?” he asked.

“Yeah, don't worry about it” I smile.

I saw his eyes moving quickly to my lips, making me look away fast. I took a deep breath and went towards the backpacks, grabbing the one I was going to wear with me.

Today's plan was to use the snowmobiles to go to the village that is near this one, just to have a small trip in the snow and come back after the sunset. And doing that, I knew that I'll be with Lando on the snowmobile.

We got out, holding the equipment with our hands and getting ready. Lando helped me put the helmet, making sure that I covered my mouth and nose with my scarf and had the gloves on my hands before he sat, offering me his hand to help me sit behind him.

“Remember, if I'm going too fast just pat my thigh” he said, turning on the engine and looking back at me.

“You know the way to the other village?” I asked, wrapping my arms around him and securing myself.

“There are signals” he said, placing his hand on top of mine.

“I trust you” I whisper, resting my chin on his shoulder to look to the front.

The landscape was beautiful, full of trees covered in snow. I could only hear the engine, but I didn't care, I was happy with what I had. Sometimes I felt Lando's hand on top of mine, rubbing his thumb over my hand for a few seconds.

He loves me. He said it. Not an “I like you” not an “I have a crush on you” nor “I fancy you”. He feels more than that and yet never had the chance to show it, he kept it all to himself for four years. Why did he never give up? What pushed him to keep fighting for me? He was Harry's victim too, he had a spell on him, a threat and he was scared of them being real. How could I be so blind to never see how Harry hurt us both?

Lost in my thoughts I hugged him tighter, not wanting to let him go. Lando is a strong man, he suffered in silence and still he had energy to smile, even if it was a forced smile. Maybe he's the kind of love I deserve.

“We're arriving soon” I heard him say loudly. “Just some minutes”

I nodded and sighed, looking around and taking pictures with my phone, ignoring the messages Harry left and not opening them again.

“Shit” I heard him. “No fucking way”

The snowmobile started to go slower until it completely turned off, leaving us there in the middle of the way. Max and Pietra stopped next to us confused, both of them taking off their glasses and scarfs.

“The engine stopped working” Lando told Max. “Fuck”

“Oh” he frowned. “I'll go to the village, okay? I'll see if there's a way of bring you two here”

I swallowed thickly. They are going to leave and we are going to stay here alone? No way… and with this cold.

“Okay” Lando sighed.

I saw Pietra and Max leaving, following the path and disappearing. So that's it, we're here alone and we have to wait for them?

“Are you cold?” He asked looking back at me.

“No” I sighed, shaking my head.

Was this a twisted plan to make us be alone and talk? It came just in the most unexpected way.

“I heard you laugh before, playing with Max” I said, pulling down my scarf. “I think it was the first time I heard you laugh that way”

“What way?”

“I don't know… Carefree , like a kid” I sighed. “Your laugh is contagious to the point it made me smile.

“I'm glad I made you smile” he smiled. “I'll make sure of doing it more, then”

“Oh, I know you will” I sighed.

Silence. My mind was racing, trying to find a way of saying what I want to say, of talking with him. I sighed, leaning on his back and hugging him again making his hands hold mine.

“Promise you won't hurt me” I whisper. “I just want to be happy, Lando. I think I have every right to finally be with someone that loves me and not with an idiot that only used me however he wanted”

“I will make you the happiest” he whispered back, turning his head to the side.

“I want to give you a chance. To give us a chance” I said. “I want to know how it feels being with you, who I am when I'm with you. Harry convinced me that you someone I don't want to be around with, that your world is not good for me”

“And he was right in that” he said, holding my hand, intertwining our hands. “You saw how it is, how easy it is to make rumors, to take pictures of me and make it look bad. Harry made me believe he had pictures of me with girls because he knew what I did with them. But he's one of many people”

“But you had every right to do whatever you wanted” I said. “You are your own person”

“But… What if they start attacking you, hm?” he sighed. “I want to be with you, I really do. I swear I dreamed how it would be having you as my girlfriend. But what I don't want is to see you involved in this world, receiving hate and threats only because you date me. I don't want you to act to make everyone like you…”

“Who said I was going to act?” I asked. “You know how I am, Lando. If they don't like me, it's their loss. And if I date you it's because of you, not because of your job or fame or money. You come first, then your job. Whoever made you believe that you are worth it only because of your job, they are so wrong”

“You never stop amazing me, Violet” he whispered. “The way you talk, how you see the world… It's like what happened earlier with Harry doesn't affect you”

I smile weakly and sigh. That's exactly what Pietra said.

“It does hurt” I sighed, confessing it. “It feels like a knife stabbed so deep in my chest, that every time I try to take it off I get scared of bleeding and not stopping it”

“Then let me help you take it off” he whispered. “Let me help you take it off and cure the wound. I promise you, Violet Sinclair, that I won't let that man get close to you that I won't let anyone hurt you ever again”

And I believed him. Because I know he can do that for me.

Recently, the small talks with him are always like that. We are getting closer and closer, opening our hearts and saying how we feel.

When Max and Pietra came back with the mechanic, Lando asked me to go with them in the car to be warm, but I answered him by pulling up the scarf and hiding him tight. I heard him chuckle before starting the engine again. If he says he wants me, I will make sure to show him what he truly wants.

We arrived at the village just in time before the sunset, watching it from the top of the ski resort. We sat on a picnic table, looking to the point where the sun will hide in a few minutes.

“How are we going back to the house?” I asked Lando, who sat next to me, while Max and Pietra sat on the other side of the table with their backs facing us, watching the sunset too.

“I think I'll rent another car” he sighed. “We'll leave the snowmobiles here since they are from the same company and we'll go in a car for the four of us, then I'll leave it in the village after going home”

“That sounds better” I whisper.

We ate what we packed, waiting for the sun to go down. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned on home resting my head against his, sighing, feeling his lips pressed on my temple.

And honestly, for this time I wished he kissed my lips.

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flowerandblood · 1 year ago

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The Impossible Choice (51)

[ Aemond • Targaryen x Baratheon! • female ]

[ warnings: angst, trauma, mention of rape ]

[description: Aemond comes to Storm’s End to choose his future consort. However, Lord Borros Baratheon presents him with only four of his five daughters. Being attached to his youngest child, he does not want to marry her. The prince, however, thwarts his and her plans with his decision. This is slow burn, with a lot of dark angst and sexual tension. (Anon Request)]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

______

He had never seen his wife like this before – pale, shaken, her hands clasped on her lap, her head bowed in thought, her eyes wide open. Even when he hadn't spoken to her in the first weeks of their marriage, even before their first wedding night, she hadn't looked so shattered and broken like she was now.

"Are you feeling well?" He asked uncertainly, and she sighed heavily, burying her face in her hands, resting her elbows on the table.

"No. This is some sort of nightmare." She mumbled, sorrow, sadness and weariness in her voice.

He thought that now that she was expecting his offspring she shouldn't be worrying about such things, looking at these humiliating scenes.

Both he and she had suffered enough in recent times and he felt he should spare her that.

"Let's go to our chamber. You shouldn't upset yourself in your condition." He said softly and she looked at him, surprised.

He saw her hesitate for a moment, and then she sighed quietly and nodded.

They both stood up – he let her go ahead, placing his hand on her back – his gesture of reassurance that he was beside her, that he would not let any harm befall her.

Never.

And then he heard his brother's voice directed at them, slightly amused, feigning surprise and disapproval.

"Brother, sister, are you leaving us already?"

They both stopped, glancing at them – his brother seemed exceptionally pleased with himself, a grin on his face, sure at the thought that he was going to fuck that stupid idiot in his bed tonight.

He wondered how to congratulate him on such a success, and then he noticed the look Floris directed at his wife, superiority and mockery in her eyes.

"My wife, who is expecting my child, felt worse. She needs to rest." He said with emphasis that his wife was expecting his heir.

He saw how surprised Floris took a quick look at her sister's lower abdomen and pressed her lips together seeing that indeed, it was slightly rounded.

Good for you, you little whore, he thought.

He was sure that Floris, in her empty head, was already planning to torment his wife with questions about why she hadn't given him an offspring yet.

"Aren't you going to congratulate me, sister?" His wife hummed, and a big, wide grin stretched across his face, not reaching his eye.

The satisfaction and pride he felt when he heard her use his own words was indescribable to him, as were the faces of his brother and her sister.

He could feel them burning with shame at the fire of his wife's words and watched it with delight.

He wondered if she had learned this by watching him, or if she had always been like this, only he didn't know it.

Floris swallowed hard, knowing she couldn't leave the question unanswered.

"Congratulations, dear sister. May the labour be easy." She muttered.

He found with satisfaction that there was no trace of her earlier confidence.

He raised an eyebrow as he saw his wife approach her unhurriedly. She placed her hand on her shoulder and leaned towards her with a warm smile, as if to give her some sisterly advice.

"I am sure that you too will soon live to see your child, sweet sister. From the righteous bed, I reckon." She said it so calmly and softly that it was only a moment before he burst into uncontrollable, mocking laughter, filled with delight at the embarrassed faces of Aegon and Floris.

He thought she had crushed.

His wife moved with a light, joyful step towards the entrance and he moved behind her throwing his brother a smile over his shoulder, a smirk full of mockery.

Stick your cock inside her if you want, he thought.

He didn't give a shit.

When they returned to their shared chamber his wife immediately asked her servant to help her undress. She sighed with relief when she was left in just her nightgown, her hair loose, wavy by being tied up all day. She lay down on their bed, looking at him with a dreamy smile. He got up from his chair and approached her slowly.

He pulled off his boots and his tunic, staying in just his shirt and black breeches, then took his eyepatch off his head. He hissed and clutched at his sapphire, his head bursting with pain.

"May I?" He asked, looking at her, asking her permission, and she nodded quickly.

When he removed the precious stone from his eye socket she did not even flinch – she just leaned towards the table standing next to the bed and took a small bowl of ointment from it.

He lay down beside her on his back and let her lean over him. She didn't even ask him what he needed – she could see that the inside of his eye socket was all red. She sighed heavily seeing this, her finger covered in ointment began spreading it over his skin.

He swallowed quietly feeling instant relief.

"Why are you wearing your sapphire when you have an eyepatch? You're causing yourself pain." She said with sincere worry and displeasure, focused on her task.

He did not listen to her, instead his large hand rose and squeezed lightly on her soft breast hidden behind the transparent material.

"– wait a moment –" She said with amusement, but without taking his hand away, allowing him to continue with his activity.

He thought about how soon her breasts would be full of milk, plump and soft. He thought of how he would be able to taste her in a new, completely unfamiliar way before, and felt his manhood pulsate hard in his breeches.

Despite his desire, he decided he would let himself and her rest after a hard day – the truth was that the commotion with Floris and Aegon pleased him, for it diverted his thoughts from Daeron, from his burning body.

From the thought that his little brother had died because of him.

He hadn't felt it so much at first, simply being in shock, unable to come to terms with what had happened, but now the knowledge of his death hit him harder and harder.

He didn't know how he was supposed to live on with this thought, where to hide from it, so he simply cuddled his face into his wife's chest, allowing himself to be locked in her embrace.

He was ashamed, and he would never say it out loud, but he needed her to quiet the whispers in his head, the stabbing pain in his heart that refused to go away – the touch of her hand, her fingers combing through his hair, stroking his head soothed and calmed him, made him stop thinking about anything and just fall asleep.

He wake up in the middle of the night with his name on his lips, rising up on his elbows, breathing loudly, feeling that his whole body was unbearably hot. His wife touched his shoulder, his cheek, already knowing what she was facing, what he was confronting and for what reason.

It happened again, again and again.

"I killed him. I cut his throat. Where is his body now?" He muttered, looking at her horrified as if he could not believe that he could really have committed such a monstrosity, that he had killed his little brother.

His wife shook her head.

"My beloved, it was a dream." She whispered, and for a moment he was relieved to think that Daeron was alive.

"Your brother fell from the sky with his dragon." She explained, seeing the look on his face, his baseless hope that the reality was different to what he would have wanted.

He would then cover his face and burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs, her small hands trying to embrace his whole body, shield him from this pain, comfort him.

He only calmed down when she hugged him to her chest, when she stroked his cheek whispering that his brother was no longer suffering, that he was safe in the heavens with his father, that no one in this world could hurt him anymore.

That her father was surely also watching over him as he had watched over his own son.

This vision, a vision of the heavens that he himself was not sure he believed in, a vision that he would still see him, that his brother was watching over him, reassured him.

He would then come back to his senses and calm down, wiping his face, embarrassed by his state, apologising to her, explaining that he didn't know what was happening to him, that he would pull himself together.

"You're suppressing it too much inside and your body can't cope anymore. You have to let all the grief and sadness flow out of you because otherwise this poison is running through your veins and killing you from the inside." She whispered, kissing his temple, and he tightened his eye, stroking her hand that embraced him, the hand of his beloved wife, the only person he trusted, to whom he could tell all this.

"I'm afraid I won't be a good father. I won't be able to show this child what I feel even if I want to." He said helplessly, and she sighed quietly, stroking his cheek and shoulder reassuringly, letting him lie on top of her in a semi-sitting position.

"No one is born a good parent, only becomes one. Our father rarely spoke of his feelings, but he showed them with his gestures. Just as he showed them to you." She said calmly, he felt a warmth in his lower abdomen when she said 'our father' about Borros, as if she recognised that in fact, what her father had done for him was in some way his show of fatherly love, his acceptance of him.

He swallowed loudly and slid his head down, hugging her abdomen, placing a kiss on it through the thin material.

"Gods, what a joy you are in these cruel moments for me and your mother." He whispered softly, feeling her hand on his hair, stroking his head tenderly.

He truly believed that their child in her womb had felt and heard his words.

He watched from the sidelines as his wife struggled to accept the news that, despite her initially platonic intentions, Floris had finally ended up in Aegon's bed. He wasn't surprised – he knew they were both desperate to prove to everyone around them that they could be happy and fulfilled, even if it was just for show.

It was pathetic, but he had begun to worry when Aegon had said that his wife's father's body would leave King's Landing in Ser Criston's care, and that Floris Baratheon would remain in King's Landing as a lady of the court.

"Does our sister know of this and has she consented to it?" He hissed, clenching his hand into a fist, the other members of the Small Council also looked at the king in disbelief. Alicent shook her head, he knew she had made Floris drink moon tea.

She was not going to let Aegon have his white-haired bastards running around the Red Keep to the humiliation of the whole family.

"Aegon. End this at last. You are causing a scandal with your behaviour and breaking any good manners. The Great Sept has also expressed its indignation on this matter, and I do not understand why you remain deaf to my requests." She said with desperation, he had never seen her so pale before.

She was tired.

His brother did not speak for a long time, looking ahead in thought. He didn't like the concentration on his face – he knew his brother was thinking hard about something and it didn't bode well. Everyone waited in suspense for his words.

"I realise that my behaviour has caused outrage and opposition from the lords. That I harm the good name of House Baratheon, to whom, after all, we owe so much, and the good name of my brother's wife." He said calmly. He looked at him breathing unevenly sensing that something was coming – he could feel the cold sweat on the back of his neck.

Something was wrong.

"I have decided to put an end to this contemptible action on my part and marry her as my second wife in the tradition of old Valyria, as my namesake predecessor, Aegon the Conqueror, did." He concluded, finally lifting his head, meeting stares full of disbelief.

He heard this silence around him.

A silence full of tension.

He hid his face in his hands resting his elbows on the table thinking that his brother was a moron, an idiot, a fool and would destroy them all. His mother looked at him on the verge of a nervous breakdown, leaning back in her chair, shaking her head.

"Aegon. You already have a wife. The wife you couldn't take care of, your sister, and who will remain your only wife until you die." She said with emphasis on the last words, desperation and rage in her throat. Otto stared at the table with his lips clenched and laughed under his breath.

"You are a fool, Aegon. A hollow child, hungry for kind words, who only wears the crown of Aegon the Conqueror. If you think anyone at this table will allow you to take a second wife, you are sorely mistaken." He said sharply, somehow wanting to turn his words into a joke, as if he had simply pulled another stunt that everyone must forgive him for.

He saw the look on Aegon's face, however, and knew that his brother had foreseen this turn of events. He turned to one of the guards standing by the door.

"Please escort my grandfather out and lock him in his chamber until I change my mind −"

"− Aegon −" Their mother began, but he continued.

"− as from today, he is no longer the Hand of the King." He communicated dryly, wiping the table with his hand as if he had just shaken some fleck off. Otto lurched away, but the second guard moved to the first's aid, his grandfather looking at him with rage.

"What are you doing? Have you completely lost your mind?!" He hissed through clenched lips. Aegon looked at him dispassionately.

"Be glad you are alive, grandfather. For such words concerning the King and his future wife, anyone else would lose their head." He said with emphasis on the last words. The guards led Otto out of the room despite their mother's objections.

The door closed behind them, everyone sat in suspense.

"Does anyone else wish to be led out of here and stripped of their function? To insult their King?" He asked, looking around at the faces of those gathered. "Very well, then −"

He stood up suddenly, interrupting him − Aegon threw him a surprised look. His brother's lips tightened when he saw that his younger brother had taken his sapphire ball from the table and approached him with an unhurried step. He looked down at him, placing it in front of him.

Aegon looked at him as if he expected him to spit at him.

"You are making a great mistake, brother." He said, turning and walking out of the hall, paying no attention to the pleading voice of his mother.

He walked down the corridor towards a chamber he seemed to have not been in for ages, though he did not know why. When he walked inside, Helaena was sitting on the floor with her children, arranging some sort of construction with them. She lifted her dreamy gaze to him and smiled, rising slowly from her knees.

He wasn't sure when they last spoke, did he ever ask how she was feeling and if it was hard for her.

Although he felt sorry for her, he couldn't show it to her.

He wasn't as supportive of her as Royce had been of his wife.

"Do you know about what our brother decided?" He asked dispassionately.

His sister nodded at her servant, who grabbed her children's hands and led them into a second, separate room, closing the door behind her. Helaena walked to the window, fiddling involuntarily with the rings on her fingers as was always her habit.

"Yes. He asked my permission." She said finally.

"How could you say yes?" He asked in disbelief, stepping closer to her. She looked at him as if she did not understand his question.

"He said he wouldn't do it if I objected, but that when he married her he would be happy at last. That he had never experienced such a feeling." She whispered, looking down at her hands, the skin near her nails was red, just like their mother's.

Their expression of stress, panic and terror.

"If she becomes his wife and bears him children out of wedlock, I'm sure she'll slit my nephews' throats while they sleep." He said grabbing her shoulders, wanting to shake her, to make her realise how serious the situation was.

"Uprisings will break out, people will turn against him. He will destroy everything Daeron died for, all the advantage we gained. He will give Rhaenyra a gift she could never even dream of."

Helaena looked away and shuddered heavily at the sound of their brother's name. She did not look at him, clearly confused and undecided.

"He… changed while you were in Harrenhal. He doesn't drink as much anymore. He visits our children, we ate suppers together. He doesn't force me to do anything, we even converse sometimes, I…" She said and did not finish, her voice breaking off, her body was trembling all over.

"I'm afraid that if I refuse him, he will turn into what he was again."

He hugged her to himself and she burst into such a loud sob that he was surprised. For so many years it had seemed to him that his sister had endured it all meekly and silently, that she paid no price for it, that she was simply pretending not to see what her brother was doing.

He didn't ask her if Aegon was hurting her, if he was causing her pain, because that was more comfortable for him, because he didn't want to fall asleep with the thought that perhaps his brother had just took his sister against her will.

Now, however, he wanted to be there for her, to take Royce's example and show her that her fate had never been indifferent to him.

"Aegon will only listen to you. For the sake of the kingdom, for the sake of all of us, you must go to him and convince him that he does not want this wedding at all. Otherwise it will destroy us all from the inside. I promise I will never let him hurt you again." He whispered, pressing his forehead against her shoulder, and she wept loudly in his embrace.

He knew she would do the right thing.

What happened next depended on her success.

He thought that the face he had seen in his dreams was not Daeron, but Aegon.

And that it would become a reality if his brother chose wrong.

____

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