#the skinny jeans are making me feel unwell

[homoeroticgrappling]

@BoomboxPhoto took some excellent pictures of Danhausen's surprise Glory Pro appearance yesterday

[wakeup01]

Two Twinks, One Wish

“So Charlie, what did you wish for Christmas?”

“Really? Can we just watch the movie?” I say, annoyed.

Daniel had been my boyfriend for about a month now and had recently moved into my flat, just in time for Christmas. Since then things had been a struggle, he would continually whine about my inadequacies - how I didn’t tidy enough, didn’t appreciate him and most of all how I was a terrible top.

See, the problem was, we were both twinks. We had the same skinny body type, with barely any muscle definition. The only real difference being he had the better ass. Admittedly, I had a severe lack of confidence in the bedroom, frequently failing to get in the mood. Daniel on the other hand was very particular about what he liked and what he expected.

“Come on! You must be able to think of something. God knows there’s enough things you can be better at…” Daniel chastised.

Even now he had turned a harmless movie night into another chance to take petty digs. We were on the couch watching some cheesy xmas film, where the protagonist makes wishes that magically come true. Now he was insisting for me to make some stupid wish.

“Why don’t you go first? You seem to have a lot of ideas in mind.” I shoot back, not taking my eyes off the screen.

“Hmm, I got the perfect one! Charlie, I wish… you were a better top!” He laughs and nudges into my shoulder.

I roll my eyes, of course, I should of guessed this is where things were heading. Ugh. Out of nowhere I feel a chill wash over my whole body and a tightness take hold in my chest. After a moment the feeling subsides.

“Very funny. Have you been thinking that one up all night.” My voice dripping in sarcasm.

I shift in my seat slightly, a dull warmth emanating from my crotch. I must be feeling unwell, I’m definitely not being turned on by his degrading remarks. But the heat doesn’t fade, in fact it only grows in intensity. I get the impulse to grope at my growing bulge, the tightness straining against my jeans. Daniel would never live it down If I did, but it was becoming rather uncomfortable.

“You look a little flustered there… ah. I see. Are you really getting horny from this? Christ, you’re pathetic.” Daniel scolds, reaching his hand down.

Before I can object he unzips my trousers and pulls down the waistband of my briefs. My cock bursts forth and slaps against my chest, pre already leaking from it’s tip. Except it’s not my cock, this monster is almost twice my normal size. And my balls are inflating in front of my very eyes.

“What the hell?” I shout.

“Woah, oh shit, it’s working. It’s a Christmas miracle!” He exclaims in barely contained glee.

“Daniel, what did you do!” My voice cracks.

My dick continues to snake up my torso, going from 5 inches, to 7 then to 8. As it grows, so does my hornyness, overpowering my head as I fall into a drunken stupor. This is the most intense erection I’ve ever felt. My hand rubs up and down the entire length and I attempt to wrap my fingers around it, before discovering its girth is now thicker than my hand.

“Nice cock ‘bro’. Good tops are well equipped downstairs. And now, you are too. Hahaha” I look over and see him smirk at me.

He’s enjoying this far too much for my liking, but I’m in no position to fight back. Why did he make that stupid wish, I better not be stuck with this forever. At this point I don’t think my cock would even fit into any underwear I own. How exactly can I walk around with this thing swinging between my legs.

“You know who makes good tops? Jocks. That cocky attitude and carefree nature, coasting through life without thinking.” Daniel suggests, wistfully.

Jocks are also narcissistic morons. And I’m certainly not going to be one just to be a better ‘top’. I’m suddenly distracted by a chafing from my rear, a pair of straps seem to be cupping the cheeks of my tight butt. Below my balls now sits a stained pouch, the smell of musk rising from it hits my nose and I recoil.

“I think it’s jockstraps only from now on Charlie. And woof, sweaty ones at that.”

All of my senses are being overpowered, it’s like my head is in a vice that keeps on tightening. The film in front of me becomes a blur, my focus shattered by the intense pleasure from my new cock.

“Cock.” I blurt out.

I hear Daniel laughing from out of view.

My head is starved of oxygen as all the blood rushes to my groin, I’ve never been this horny before. I feel the strangest sensation as my brain thickens, filling up with throbbing meat. All the space padded out until I’m holding up a heavy dumbbell on the end of my neck. My thoughts were still there, somewhere, but it took so long to find them. It was quicker and easier to just embrace jockdom, stop worrying so much and just go along with the flow. If I was unsure of what to say then bro, I’d just say ‘bro’! A bro can fill in sentences with ‘bro’ and everyone will know what a bro they are. And bro? Being labeled as a dumb bro means no one expects anything meaningful from me. Brawn over brains is the mantra of my life dude.

“Jock’s also like to wear their bro-hood on their sleeves, and in your case, quite literally.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth I feel a sharp pain, as if a hundred needles are stabbing down my arm. I brace myself before glancing down. And there it was, 🍖 the meat emoji tattooed on my left hand. Huhhuh, awesome bro. Branded a meathead for life.

“Bro?” I ask slowly, my voice now considerably deeper.

“Yeah ‘Chad?’” Daniel emphasises.

The name immediately sticks to me like glue. Chad. I am such a Chad. I have some distant recollection of being someone else, but I can’t be bothered to search my brain for it. There’s a more pressing concern.

“Bruh, I need to empty my balls.” I grunt. The pressure from my engorged member becoming unbearable.

“Then you know what to do. Good muscle tops have their cocks milked every day.”

I grip my cock and begin pumping in earnest, my jaw hanging open. As I masturbate, my hands and arms bulk up with muscle. I see my veins very noticeably pop out. I feel a desperate urge to flex, letting one hand go from my dick. I ball it into a fist and raise it to the side of my head, squeezing my biceps. My arm pulses with meat, sending a vain satisfaction to my pleasure center.

“Good dumb tops spend all their time in the gym or on the field. Sculpting their body into the perfect chiselled shape.” His nasally voice instructs.

Muscle continues to form all over my lithe frame; my shoulders broaden and my chest ripples into a tight 6 pack. My clothes are loudly ripped to shreds. Memories enter my head of spending hours working out, of hanging with the other jocks and forming a vacant facade of a personality. Sweat drips from my hairy armpits, staining the couch under me. The room quickly starts smelling like a gym, my rank feet tearing free from my socks. My face cracks as it squares out into a more defined outline, brow growing heavy above my distant eyes. My body is now taking up most of the couch as Daniel budges over to the side. I quicken my pace, pumping now with both hands. My balls tighten.

“Fuck yeah brah.” I roar, reaching climax.

My cock spurts rope after rope of musky cum directly at my face, I’m left covered in my own seed. Daniel leans over to me and begins to eagerly lick at my face. He savours my taste on his tongue before swallowing. The sign of an expert bottom, huhuhu.

“Mmm. Great Tops know how to take control. And you’re a great top Chad.” Daniel moans in lust.

He’s right.

“Dude, this film is fucking dull. I’m changing to the sports channel bro. There’s a sick game playing today.” My hands take the remote and switch to a noisy football game.

I grab Daniels’s tiny little body and force him onto my lap. I flex again and push his face into my armpit. His tongue drags along my wiry dank hair. He moves his hand between my legs and starts passionately fingering his hungry ass hole, using my cum as lube. I hear him panting heavily like a dog. Man, my boyfriend is such a whiny brat…

“Bro, it’s my turn.” My cocky voice booms.

“What?” I hear his muffled voice cry out.

“Uhh… I wish… I wish you were a Bro like me, Bro.” I smirk.

“Wait, noooo!” He screams.

His body shudders and contorts as I hold his face to my pits with my newfound strength. He packs on pounds of muscle in a matter of seconds. Dan’s moaning turns to grunts. He’s going to make for such a Good. Arrogant. Dumb. Bro.

I watch his dong stretch down his leg, his balls sagging between his thickening thighs. The head of Dan’s veiny cock leaking like a faucet. A pair of juicy pecs push out from his chest and his adam apple swells. I pull away the remains of his clothes, letting them fall to the ground.

Dan’s dainty feet beef up to a size 12, sweat gathering between his toes - smelling like a real man should. I feel his previously fat bubble butt tense with lean muscle on my lap. With a squeak, his thoroughly abused fuck hole tightens shut, never to be stretched open again. He only tops after all, like me.

I release my grip on him and he pulls away, my sweat covering his square jawed face. He stuffs his junk into a jockstrap, looking barely concealed as it throbs with need. His messy hair has receded into a clean as fuck buzzcut. We now look almost identical, except that his meat emoji 🍖 tattoo is engraved on his right hand.

“Bro!” Dan’s voice deepens.

“Let’s go find some sluts to breed, bro.” We both smirk at each other and flex.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ always on your mind ]❜

ft. jean grey x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ you’re unable to admit your feelings toward her, but she finds it cute┊2.1k words

contains: some suggestive lines, reader is a disaster gay & a chronic liar in denial, actually everyone in this is gay, getting together, scott/logan, reader is shorter than jean (famke janssen is 6ft tall i’m so unwell) 

➤ author's note: reader is just like me because i too would try to convince myself that i was jealous of someone like her but i’m in denial about how much i want someone like her. i know because that was me with my friend uhhhhhh

“she looks different today…” you sighed, almost dreamily, taking a sip of your green tea sweetened with honey.

ororo followed your gaze to the redhead, tilting her head and squinting a little, trying to figure out what the fuck you were talking about. it was way too early to be playing spot the difference, and while she knows that she shouldn’t entertain your nonsense, she’s still curious about what you’re talking about. “she looks the same as she always does?”

“no, she’s wearing her hair differently.”

she turned to look at her again, grateful that she seemed to be heavily immersed in whatever she was doing to notice the two of you having a not-so-discreet conversation with her as the topic. “how??”

“it’s more curly at the bottom than usual, and there’s a bit more hairspray too,” you explained like it was obvious. “also, she’s wearing a different shade of lipgloss, it’s more red and a little sparkly.”

she’s still stunningly beautiful as always, you don’t think it would change even if she just rolled out of bed. her red locks framed her face perfectly, eyes fluttered half-shut as she examined some papers on the table with her glasses neatly situated at the tip of her nose, kissable lips slightly parted in thought— casually sitting pretty like a painting of aphrodite’s second cousin in skinny jeans, tennis shoes, and a jacket. 

“why are you… why are you staring at her lips?”

“i am not staring at her lips, i’m just a perceptive person.”

“you didn’t even notice when i changed my hair last week even though everyone was complimenting it, don’t lie to me. you have it bad for her, just admit it!”

“i’m just jealous of little miss perfect, okay?” you declared, putting your hands up in mock surrender. “miss perfect and her perfect hair, perfect face, perfect body—” your voice trailed off when you realized that there was a romantic undertone to it.

she rolled her eyes at you, knowing that you have been using the damn jealousy excuse ever since she first called you out on your fixation on jean grey. it’s not even an excuse at this point, it’s more like a way to end the conversation because it never went anywhere even though it’s been held more times than she could count.

there is nothing jealous or heterosexual about the look in your eyes whenever you see her. frankly, your best friend has no idea why you were denying your feelings so adamantly, but she doesn’t think you know why either. the doctor seemed to always be on your mind, always holding your full attention and always making you flustered when you had hers.

you remained silent as you watched her call over the wolverine, watching the way he got a little too close to her for your liking and the way she smiled at him as she whispered something, feeling your hand subconsciously ball up into a fist so tightly that your knuckles turned white. an inexplicable rage was starting to build up in your gut, one that you’ve learned to grow familiar with. it was even worse when it was with scott, when he was looking at her with so much affection it made his glasses seem like they were rose-tinted lenses.

“and you’re still trying to convince me you don’t have a crush on her?”

“no, i don’t have a crush on her, i have a crush on…” you paused for a second, trying to remember the new guy’s name, ”...logan.”

she crossed her arms over her chest and glanced at you like you were stupid, “really? logan?” her tone was sarcastic and you could hear the laugh in her voice, “have you even talked to him since he got here? other than introductions?”

“who knows, maybe he has some sort of charm that just draws me in?” it read as sarcasm, but your tone of voice made it sound like you were actually trying to convince her even though it wasn’t the least bit believable, not even a child would take your words for a fact. 

“oh please, you wouldn’t crush on logan before crushing on me. you may lie as easily as you breathe, but you can’t fool me regarding this matter!”

“damn, i didn’t know you were telepathic too— i hate that you’re right,” you groaned. you’re absolutely hopeless, pinning for a woman who already had a boyfriend and was probably straight. saying that your feelings for her were out of envy sounds about right to most, making it seem like a touchy subject no one dared to bring up, but anyone who has heard you talk about her for two minutes would understand the truth.

you were just terrified of rejection, and it’s easier to deny your growing attraction and to chalk it up as something else instead of bottling it up until it exploded.

jean grabbed her papers and tapped the bottom edges on the table a few times to straighten them out before leaving, and logan was now making his way toward you and ororo. your eyes widened and you shifted your stare to your lap in panic as he approached you, clearing his throat, “um, jean said she wanted to see you in the greenhouse.” 

you inhaled sharply, “oh, okay…” waiting until he left, you gently placed your ceramic mug on the coaster before slamming your head on the table, “i’m so fucked, she’s going to call me out for being a creep who can’t stop staring at her like she’s a fucking goddess come to earth or something.”

“well, you’ll only know if you go meet her,” your friend shrugged. you made your bed and now you have to lay in it, she’s already done all she could to help you by suggesting that you should simply accept your feelings and a possible awkward confrontation would have been avoided.

after a moment of silence with the request suspended in the air, you sluggishly finished off the contents of your cup and lazily rinsed it off in the sink. “alright, wish me luck because god knows i’m going to need it…”

you left before she could make a snarky remark, making your way over to your destination with impending doom slowly weighing itself on your shoulders as you adjusted your appearance to make yourself look just a bit better. you were absolutely terrified of being called out, even if jean would be in the right to do so because it probably made her uncomfortable, and each step made you feel like you were inching closer to an execution.

(clearly, you’re being overdramatic and her setting boundaries isn’t the end of the world, but you think you would probably end it all if you learned that she had negative feelings toward you like disgust or something.)

the door to the greenhouse made you cringe as the hinges creaked, allowing you to see that it was completely empty without any students and fiery red hair making the only other soul in the room stand out amongst the greenery (not like she wouldn’t stand out to you in a room of hundreds). she looked up at you and smiled as you shut the door behind you for some privacy. “so… uh…” god, you’re absolutely fucking useless when it comes to talking to pretty women you weren’t well-acquainted with. “you wanted to see me?”

she hummed in confirmation with a smile, gesturing you to sit across from her and making you even more nervous that this was going to take a sharp direction for the worse. “don’t worry, you’re not in trouble or anything.”

her lighthearted tone and little jest of talking to you like a student instead of a co-worker honestly didn’t do much to help you relax as you took your seat, hands in your lap and anxiously fidgeting with your fingers while waiting for her to continue. 

“so…” she took off her glasses and looked at you with a mischievous gleam in her eyes, “you think i have kissable lips, huh? is that a feature of mine that you’re jealous of?” 

you felt your heart drop and almost choked on your spit, trying to clear your throat as subtly as possible while heat rushed to your face. you were so wrapped in admiration earlier that you didn’t even consider that she was only pretending to look over her paperwork and was actually reading your mind during the entire exchange with ororo.

oh god, what if she’s also read your mind on other occasions? you’re so screwed, you have had more… sinful thoughts about her in other instances— is that why she smiled at you in that way when you ran into her in the middle of the night in the kitchen when she was wearing that really sexy tank top? you wanted to crawl into a hole and die, this was so embarrassing.

instead of admitting it like a normal person when cornered, you impulsively lied again, “i-i have no idea what you’re talking about!” you wanted to kick yourself, are you really trying to convince a mutant with telepathy powers that she was wrong about how you felt about her when she could literally read you like a book— what the fuck are you doing, you need to fess up already?!

she chuckled, “you’re cute.” her response made you sit up straight in a panic from how unexpected it was, which only made her smile widen as she started to giggle. “tell you what,” she started, getting up from her swivel stool and making her way over to stand in front of you.

it didn’t help that you were seated, but having her so close like it reminded you of just how tall she was. her long, slender legs were accentuated in the pants she wore, and they helped her look down on you while you looked up at her in a way that could only be described as— in lack of a better phrase— a gay panic.

“if you don’t like this, then feel free to slap me.”

before you could ask what she was talking about, her hands reached out to hold both sides of your face, pulling herself toward to kiss you on the lips. you were in too much shock to really react in any way, unsure if you were dreaming or if this was reality. the entire world seemed to stop spinning and stilled just for you to experience what it was like to be kissed by jean grey. her lips were so soft and tasted of cherry, something straight out of a fantasy. 

her eyes slowly opened to meet yours, parting her lips from yours and straightening her posture. it was only for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity in heaven. you were absolute putty from her touch, which she didn’t need her powers to notice and she seemed proud of her effect on you. it’s one of the things she adores so much about you, how she could read you like an open book without telepathy when you were known as a mysterious person with more lies than anyone could keep up with. it gave her a sense of normalcy and pride, how it was just her and your best friend storm who could read you. “so, are you still ‘jealous’ of me, or are you willing to admit it’s something more?”

“i think i’m just jealous about how you were able to take my breath away with a single kiss… and of scott…” you managed to say, not able to feel proud of your witty comment like you usually would be when adrenaline was still pumping in your veins unable to escape your body that’s been frozen like a statue from the action. after a moment of silence, your face changed from one of bliss to one of mortification, “wait, how often do you read my mind??”

“oh, i’m always on your mind.” your mouth slacked open before you covered it with your mouth, feeling incredibly embarrassed because your thoughts about her have ranged from admiration of her beauty to wondering about what it was like to date her to— “by the way, do you wanna have a sleepover in my room tonight? we’ll get to know each other better, and i’m sure it could satisfy your other curiosities about me,” she whispered lowly into your ear, making shivers shoot down your spine.

you were so flustered that you felt the need to cover your entire face with your hands, an adorable sight to jean as you nodded. “t-that sounds perfect… but… what about scott?”

“oh, don’t worry about him, we split more than a week ago on good terms once we realized we both had our ‘preferences.’ besides, he’s been secretly spending a lot of time with logan lately despite how they behave around others— i think we’re going to hear about another new couple soon,” she winked, holding onto you arm-in-arm and ready to show you off to the inhabitants of the mansion.

[jhopesankle]

Reasons & Motivation

People will worry over me and talk about my weight loss when I’m not there

When I see people I haven’t seen in months they’ll be shocked at how skinny I got

My thighs won’t rub together

My cellulite will disappear

I can wear crop tops, shorts, tank tops, bikinis

I can wear skinny jeans and not worry about my bloated fat thighs

Other people will make the effort with me and I’ll be in control

I’ll have a tiny waist that my work apron can wrap all the way around

I’ll be able to eat what I want without worrying about it

I’ll be confident enough to start conversations with new people

I’ll have the confidence to be a flirt

I’ll be pretty enough to have casual sex & stop moping about my breakup

I can post pictures on social media of my hot body

People will be jealous of how skinny I am

My arms won’t jiggle

Tattoos will look better on me

I won’t feel as awkward and weird

Strangers will want to talk to me and know me

People will want me to eat and be happy when I do

People will see that I’m mentally unwell

It will be easier to tone and build muscle

I will be able to wear any Halloween costume without feeling insecure

I’ll see myself in pictures and love how I look

Guy clothes will make me look super tiny and thin and delicate

When people are concerned or ask questions I can push them away and they’ll still care cause I’m hot (people just think you’re a whiny needy bitch if you’re fat)

I can workout in cute sports bras

I can swim without pretending I forgot my swimsuit (and having to wear a tshirt)

I’ll shrink my stomach and appetite so I’ll need less to be full

I’ll save money on food and junk and alcohol

I can wear tiny sexy dresses

When my friends want to go out somewhere I’ll have hot outfits to wear and I won’t have to spend hours trying things on and crying

Ill look so cute in big sweaters when it gets cold

Men and women will be attracted to me

I will actually accomplish something

I can wear over the knee socks without fat squeezing out of the tops

I can squeeze into tiny spaces and get by people and take up less space

I won’t have to hold something in my lap when I sit down

I can wear baggy clothes and when I decide to wear something fitted people won’t be able to look away

I can dress girly and cute or boyish and gay and look hot either way

I’ll have the confidence and body to do all the crazy things I want to do

Low rise jeans. I repeat, low rise jeans.

[exquisitexagony]

☕ cozy things tag game

mun. jules. 25. here's the sh*t that brings me joy

comfort food(s): chinese takeout, cream cheese rangoons, ramen, chix & dumplin's

comfort drink(s): hot tea, boba, hot cocoa

comfort movie(s): The Road to El Dorado, Little Women, Wonka, Road Trip

comfort show(s): i don't know if i have any "comfort" shows honestly, i usually just put on YouTube, but I guess maybe stuff like The Floor is Lava, British Bake-Off Juniors occasionally make the comfort list, but it isn't often...I used to watch Scrubs as a comfort show, also Umbrella Academy--I guess the moral is I've just become more of a YouTube watcher over the years

comfort clothing: anything baggy, for warmth oversized hoodies, for cooler times oversized t-shirts OR my husband's t-shirts..my Cloak brand joggers also this pair of massively baggy camo sweats that are way too big on me and thus incredibly comfy; also this David Bowie sweater that my husband has but never wears...oversized flannels...oh! and my newest pair of jeans that have giant holes in the knees and are super baggy and remind me of the ones timmy c wears in bones and all ^-^ ....honestly all of my clothing is "comfort clothing" i don't like being uncomfortable for any reason, f**k that shof, like i won't buy jeans unless they're baggy as hell or stretchy/soft as hell, none of that skinny jean shite please

comfort song(s): A Hatful of Dreams from Wonka, Hot Tea by half-alive, For a Moment from Wonka, Late Bloomer by Semler, Look at the Sky by Porter Robinson, if i were a fish by corook and Olivia Barton, Sleeping in the Kitchen by Madilyn Mei & Addison Grace, Beautiful Anyway by Judah and the Lion....the list goes on, i'm a music nerd--if anyone wants listening recommendations i'm ur guy

comfort book(s): I wish I still had comfort books, but my attention span sucks these days...probably just manga, though. Komi Can't Communicate is a good comfort manga...I've also been really enjoying the Gender X series and it makes me feel seen...GenderQueer is another good one

comfort game(s): animal crossing, lately it's been New Leaf more than Horizons because I got sick of animal crossing lol, Potion Craft which is all I've been doing tonight because I felt unwell when I got off work, Pikmin 4, Last of Us 2 which probably sounds weird but it's just like one of my favourite games and keeps me coming back to it, Resident Evil 8 again also keeps me coming back to it and like i've gotten over most of the scares at this point aside from the baby part...now i wanna play last of us 2 again and/or finish my grounded mode run

tagged by: @miidnighters - thanks pal! <3

tagging: @heartxshaped-bruises @inrovina @rightxonxmain @irrwicht + anyone who wants to do it! :D

[just-1other-nerd]

Well, my therapist canceled our appointment this morning because she's sick which sucks for the both of us.

So I guess I'll vomit out my feelings and messed up thoughts here because where else can I put them now?

There are mainly four observations I want to talk about:

First of all I'm thinking a lot about my bullying trauma lately, like remembering how unwell I felt, remembering what my former class mates did to me and how the ones I meet again act like they never did me any harm. I remember pranks, insults and manipulation. But it is even worse that there are moments like that 5 day school trip in year 7 where I know something happened and I ended up being called a monster and I don't even remember all the details because I just repressed those memories. I wouldn't call myself the most forgiving person like I have lots of grudges because of smaller things, so whatever happened must have been really bad if I can't remember it. I'm sure I said lots of bad things back to those people too, because hurt people lash out. I think I wished this one gaslighter to get brain damage once and I regretted it and regret it now. My mum once told me that for her it was like I came home from war instead of school. A saw a insta reel in which a person was talking about how now that they escaped the situation that caused their trauma, they don't know what's next because it makes up such a huge part of their personality and they've been in survival mode for so long that they get anxious thinking that it could go wrong again any minute. But they also said that they are looking forward to finding out who they are without the thing that caused the trauma. And I felt that. I escaped the situation about almost 3 years ago but I'm still recovering and I still have those defence and coping mechanisms from back then. And I like found out that I actually don't care that much about grades, I still care and I'm proud of my accomplishments but it kinda isn't that important anymore, like I'm (almost) okay with screwing up and only being among the best instead of THE best, just like I was back in primary school. I also found out that I like lots of stuff my friends introduced me to like K drama and that I can be silly with them (and that I like that) instead of acting condecending when people are being a bit stupid for fun (in my defence lots of the stuff I looked down upon was sexist/involved drugs etc.) <- look I did it again, I defended myself before someone could even attac.

The second thing is I think I could be neurodivergent. Like I have always been a picky eater but not just because of taste but also because of food texture. The same goes for fabric and certain necklines and stuff because it makes me feel uncomfortable. I used to wear tights no matter what season when I was a kid and was convinced I could never wear pants without them and I still don't like it if pants are loose around my legs so I only wear skinny jeans. I'm very perfectionistic at times and so incredibly stubborn and I need get things done my way and have like this weird tunnel vision where I can't really see alternatives myself but need others to show them to me (like in group projects). But I can also be so lazy and unmotivated that I just refuse to do anything and hope I get away with it. I can be laser focused sometimes, like read in the most chaotic public space but then again I can get distracted so easily by just one sound and like get nothing done at all for the next 10 minutes. I oftentimes scribble or fidget when I'm nervous or need to concentrate. I bite my nails to an unhealthy extent since I was little. I cried a lot when I was a child when we sold things, I can't let go of stuff, it got better but it's still very gutwrenching. I've always hated being wrong and loved being right. Oftentimes I'm so focused on myself and how I feel in a situation that I forget that others might not feel the same way about what is happening right now which leads to me missing (important) social clues. It's not like I can't interpret the expressions of others but I just don't pay attention in that moment of that I'm so convinced that my pov is right that I just don't think about another way to view things, even though I'm relatively average at being able to empathize with others but it just becomes an afterthought and then it's too late. I'm able to reflect on things. Lots of people think I'm arrogant or condecending when I don't even mean to come across that way. I was always considered smart (I have great fact memory) and relatively creative but also weird and socially awkward in a sense that I just didn't get along with lots of my peers. On the one hand people thought I was mature for my age (because I could articulate myself better than most of the kids my age and just knew more in general) but on the other I could be to childish and immature when others upset me and I really have a temper and I hold a grude for forever. One time when I was too old for that I just made such a scene because I didn't want to go on that hiking trip (god, I was so awful that day, my poor parents). I can become obsessed with things, mostly books, series and movies. I'm basically a fandom wiki at this point. I like and notice patterns lots of people just don't see. My dad often compares me to Sheldon Cooper who has Asperger when we watch TBBT (I know he's not the best autism representation but he introduced me to the topic). And like lots of times I read some post and think "huh relatable" and then I look at the tags and it says "autism" or "ADHD" or "neurodivergent" and I've always related to autism-coded characters and neurodivergent characters. But then (depends on whether I'm really neurodivergent or not) my imposter syndrome or common sense kicks in and is like "Just because you relate that doesn't mean you are. You are way too normal and basic for that. You just want to be special. You disrespect the community by claiming you're a part of it without even really knowing. Self diagnosis is toxic and most of the time one's wrong. You only want an excuse for not fitting in. You only want a reason for being bullied," and stuff like this. My imposter sydrom also says those things everytime I think about whether I'm bisexual or not. Like I always get exicted when I see the community succeed or represented and I'm so deep into queer cuture, even before I knew what it was I already had a tendency towards this kind of media.

The third thing is that I'm hating shopping so much. Like I love fashion, it's just so much fun, but everytime I want to be fashionable I just realise I can't be. One of the reasons for this is as I mentioned above that how fabrics feel can be difficult or that I don't like certain necklines because I feel like they expose stuff and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. This is the part that has always been there. But then again there is a kinda low confidence when it comes to my style that's because of never really having the same style as my peers which didn't make the bullying better. I don't like make-up because I'm too lazy and love sleep and because I've never really done it I suck at it and it's bad for your skin. But like if you can do it well it just looks so nice and I'm in awe if my friends can do it well, it's just not for me. I can't have trendy hair styles because my hair is curly and complicated and only 20% of the time (during which I'm almost always at home) it looks incredibly beautiful. But that can also make me look older than I am. In general that's a big problem for me because if I wear something for young people that suits my criteria I often look like I'm 14 (being smaller than average also doesn't help) but if I wear a blazer or something like that I look like 35 or like a teenager dressing up as a 35 year-old. And then there are my body issues. (I know everybody has them and generally I think I'm pretty but I just feel so unfashionalbe.) Trying to buy new clothes frustrates me, like I don't want to be shapeless or like I just want a simple button-up that's for women or I just want to feel like myself and not like I play dress up. I also get sad and hate myself. In those moments I practically am the song "My Own Person" by Ezra Williams because I just want to vanish. And then there is also consumer guilt.

The fourth is that I'm procrastinating again because I'm anxiously avoidant (self diagnosis, I'm so hypocritical right now and I hate that). I should organize something for my future job right now because I should do that before the holidays (tomorrow is the last school day) but I spent the last hour or so writing this and it's already night and normally I would go to sleep now. I hate having to do that. I have to gather information and it's just so confusing. I'm mad because I've been given some misinformation but because of complicated reasons I can't say that I'm mad. I also just feel stupid for not having asked certain (important) questions.

Edit: About two weeks later. Anxiety and procrastination are still there which isn't good because next week my Abitur starts and I should really prepare more. Sometimes I do the kind of self harm when I don't eat even though I'm hungry because I don't feel like I'm worth the food.

Another thing I forgot to mention is that I have this weird fear of like falling into an abyss (metaphorically). It is just like I don't like alcohol, wich is another thing that seperated/seperates me from my peers. I don't like the taste, I don't like the smell, I don't like that it literally kills brain cells and makes you loose control over your body and behaviour. I never even tried it. It is a valid thing not to like it and people should accept it more, people are not antisocial just because they don't consume alcohol, drinking shouldn't be the social norm. As I mentioned before, back in my bullied era I was condecending and not getting wasted because I didn't get drunk was actually a thing that gave me a feeling of superiority and having this strong principal became a part of my self-worth too. So now with my bad mental health I'm worried that I'll give into the temptation of just letting loose for a while, to rebell and not give a shit and drowning my sorrows, even though I know that alcohol (as a drug) isn't cool and that it'll only make me feel better for a short time and that my body wouldn't take it well because it isn't used to it. I know it is kind of stupid and I think I've had those thoughts for a while now but helping me realize this about myself was the Baby Queen song These Drugs which expresses what I'm afraid of better than I can.

[wrathkitty]

Short Debts Make Long Friends Ch 5.....reader awesomeness

@mandindjarin

Your commentary was too hilarious to not reply to these. (And thank you for taking the time to read it!)

Gray shirt, form fitting black cargo pants, and sturdy brown boots...

(Your half-serious inquiry about skinny jeans and ballet flats had earned you a long, strange look.)

see also: my entire wardrobe… skinny jean queens

* high five *

An exasperated sigh reaches your ears from the opposite end of the shop. Mando has spent the last forty-five minutes lurking in corners…

me, picturing din in a macy’s, ducking behind racks of clothing and fondling the shoe displays: seems about right

Just imagine his reaction when they ask if he wants to sign up for a Macy’s card.

“Short debts make long friends,” you stubbornly insist.

HEY THATS THE TITLE. I DONT LIKE THAT

I’m sorry! I had written that scene before I came up with the title.

This is all starting to feel so cliché you might as well kick back now and wait for the sex.

i am, with popcorn & everything. (this humor reader has is so effortless and natural i LOVE)

BUT TELL ME I’M WRONG ABOUT THE CLICHE. (Just you wait, the “oh-shit-there’s-only-one-bed” trope is going to show up, too.)

“Can I name it DSM-5?”

i laughed so loud at this that i woke my dogs up

I have been floored (and thrilled) at how many people got this joke. And if I ever get to go to Galaxy’s Edge, first thing I’m doing is going straight to the Droid Depot and building myself a purple Artoo unit and naming it DSM-V.

A long arm slides around your waist from behind and starts hauling you up.

who’s drool is that? who is drooling rn?

Who me? Not me! Not you? Then who? Who stole the Mando from the beskar jar?

“You done?” he dryly inquires.

no. 

You are yanked out of harm’s way, so hard that your shoulder nearly separates from its socket, but Mando steps into your fall before you stumble and seizes you with both arms. He pulls you in, swiftly wrapping his left hand and forearm around your head before pressing your cheek against his chest to shield your face.

You stand numbly in place, dazed.

“Give it a minute for the air to clear.”

i am again dumbfounded and lost for words. this lil snippet is SO much better in context. !!!!!!!! the note about the cloak too? ughhhh. 

OP would like to know if ‘ugggggh’ is because of the feels, or the kryt dragon phlegm that’s still embedded in the fabric?

Shaking, you dig your fingers into the fabric on either side of Mando’s waist and don’t let go. The gloved hand clasping the back of your head starts to lift as your cheek finds the gap between his pauldron and cuirass; misery cuts through your chest at the loss of contact, but his palm resettles against your hair, and you gratefully press your face into his shoulder. You are no longer letting him hold you, you’re letting him hide you, consequences bedamned. You’ll be brave later.

this paragraph right here, doctor. this is why i admitted myself.

* hands you the intake forms and a pen *

You hear the distinct click of a safety being switched off…

every time i read this action, regardless of what fic or how many times i’ve read the line, i am without fail reminded that i am mentally unwell. 

One Xanax or two? 

“No.”

His voice disrupts your despondent train of thought, and you glance over at him, confused.

“No, I wasn’t telling you nutrition is an actual flavor.”

din djarin. master of small talk. 

That is one of my favorite gif sets in the history of ever.

“You’ve got about thirty minutes left to take me somewhere I can fall apart.”

as u should!! breakdown queen!!!

ANGST ANGST NOTHING BUT AAAAAAANNNNGGGGST (it only gets worse from here, I promise)

[britishvamps]

Singing In The Rain

Prompt: 50. We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?

Fandom: Five Seconds of Summer Member: Ashton Irwin Warnings: None Word Count: 948

*Slightly based on a true story between me and my cousin who came from Canada to visit us in England who I think now hates me for it haha.*

Today was one of the few days where both you and Ashton had nothing to do.

Waking up later than usual, you went downstairs in just Ash’s shirt and decided to make breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, toast and some fried mushrooms and whilst you were loading them up onto two plates, Ashton’s arms wrapped around your waist, causing you to smile as he placed a gentle kiss on your neck. “Hello gorgeous.” He said, his voice a lot huskier as he had just woken up. “Morning.” You said, turning slightly to place a quick peck on his lips. “Mmm...” He hummed on your lips before pulling away. “What are you doing today?” You asked asked as he walked over to the fridge to get the orange juice and pour it into two cups as you set the plates down on the table. “Well I was thinking we could go shopping and the go watch a movie at the cinemas.” He answered as you both began digging into your late breakfast. “Sounds good, we’ll leave at 12. I wanna chill first and I can finally get you to watch Black Lightning like you promised you’d watch with me.” You said, taking a sip of your orange juice as you smirked at him before you both finished your breakfast with small talk and jokes every once in a while.

Taking the plates, you quickly washed them before grabbing Ashton’s hand and pulling him into the living room where you both plopped on the couch and you started putting on Netflix and searched up ‘Black Lightning’ and clicked episode one as you went and grabbed the popcorn and two cans of sprite for the both of you. “Okay, let’s watch this bad boy.” He said as you sat down after placing the drinks on the table in front of you and opened the popcorn.

Almost two hours later, Ashton was hooked on the tv show, almost screaming when you paused the show. “Babe, put it back on.” He whined as you switched off the tv. “We need to get ready to go out, it’s almost 12.” You said, picking up your phone to see that was 11:20am. Standing up reluctantly, Ashton walked upstairs behind you to pick out his outfit, which consisted of black skinny jeans, a white adidas shirt and his Fila Disruptors as you went and did your makeup and picked out a pair of black ripped mom jeans and one of his red adidas shirts, tucking it in before wearing your Doc Martens with them. “Let’s go.” You said, pointing and rushing to the door as Ashton grabbed his phone, wallet and car keys before he followed you out. Unlocking the car, you both hopped in, plugging his phone into the aux and blasting some throwback One Direction songs as you drove to the shopping centre.

As you guys pulled up, you took Ash’s phone off the aux and stopped the music. “I wanna go to Urban Outfitters first.” You said, getting out of the car and fixing your outfit before you grabbed Ashton’s hand pulled him into Urban Outfitters. Grabbing two new shirts and a hoodie, you guys walked out before you over to American Apparel. Despite not liking the brand, you still bought some jeans before walking over to Victoria’s Secret. “I’ll be super quick, I promise. And then we can go watch the movie.” You said, giving Ashton a quick kiss as you saw his face change when he saw the name of the shop. Rolling his eyes, he followed behind you as you browsed the bras and pants. “I think this one’ll suit you babe.” He said, picking up a baby blue bondage bralette. Grabbing it out his hands, you added it to the pile of clothes. “I think I’m going to get the two black bras and pants from over there and the bralette you chose.” You said, returning the rest of the underwear before going and paying for them before walking out of the store. “Okay, movie time.” You sang, letting Ashton drag you to the car quickly to take your bags home before driving to the cinema.

On the way home it began to drizzle with rain. The soft pattering of the rain hitting the window went well with the slow music playing in the background. You had always loved the rain ever since you were little, something about the sound of it hitting the window soothed you deeply. “Ash, stop the car.” You said, looking over at him. Pulling over, he looked at you concerned. “Are you okay? Do you feel unwell?” He asked, looking over at you before seeing you crack a smile. “I’m fine, I just want to feel the rain.” You said, getting out of the car and twirled before looking at him through the window. “Come on, get out.” You said, dancing in the rain as it intensified, soaking you completely. The sounds of thunder and lightning could be heard but you didn’t care as you continued twirling in the rain, singing out a song you heard on the radio. “(Y/N), are you crazy? We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain? I swear you surprise me all the time?” He laughed, watching as you continued moving around in the rain, arms wide open. Snapping a quick picture, he got out of the car, being drenched almost immediately before he met up with you at the front of the car. “I love you.” He laughed, pulling you into a hug. “I love you too.” You smiled, leaning up and kissing him as the rain pelted down and thunder crackled in the night sky.

[boofphil]

because he loves him

2010!dan

summary: dan has been getting sick a lot recently, making phil worried (based off dan's 2010 surgery)

word count: 2090

genre: fluff, sickfic

warnings: mentions of vomiting

A/N: i can’t title help me

Dan didn’t think much of it at first. When his stomach started hurting after most meals, he brushed it off as bad university food. [add more here] He figured a weekend at Phil’s would help with food that didn’t taste questionable. After dinner, the two went to the lounge to watch a movie. Not too long into however, Dan’s stomach started feeling funny. Dan frowned, knowing what would come next. Phil noticed Dan shifting uncomfortably next to him.

“Dan? What’s wrong?” Phil asked.

Dan tried to ignore it. “I’m fine.”

Phil gave him a concerned look, but didn’t press on.

It didn’t take long before Dan’s stomach began to ache, much to Dan’s dismay. He couldn’t blame bad food on this one. He pulled his knees to his chest and crossed his arms over his stomach, subtly trying to ease his stomachache. The pain worsened with each passing minute and Dan found himself unable to focus on the movie anymore. He didn’t want to worry Phil; it would only be a matter of time before he noticed, so Dan needed to find a way to relief the pain before Phil picked up on it.

“I’m going to use the bathroom,” Dan excused himself, standing up and trying not to wince as the pain worsened.

“Do you need me to pause the movie?” Phil asked, glancing over at Dan.

Dan shook his head, then left to go to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom, he doubled over and clutched his stomach, face grimacing. This one felt worse than the usual stomach pains. He sat down on the floor, curling up as much as possible.

He planned to wait a couple minutes before going back out, yet he was too distracted by the pain to pay attention to how long he was in there. He only became aware of how much time had passed when there was a knock on the door.

“Dan? Are you alright in there? You’ve been in there for twenty minutes.”

Dan groaned; his stomach didn’t feel any better than when he first came in.

“What’s wrong?” Phil said, worry evident his voice.

Dan didn’t respond, hoping Phil would go away. He knew Phil wouldn’t leave, of course; he’d be an awful boyfriend if he did.

“Dan, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll have to pick the lock to get in.”

“No…” Dan whimpered, stomach cramping. Why did this stomachache have to feel so awful? Having a decent dinner with his boyfriend was supposed to help, not make it worse. Now Phil would find out about his stomachaches and force him to visit the doctor, something he couldn’t afford as a university student.

There was some noise with the door knob, signaling that Phil had resorted to picking the lock to get in. Dan hid his face against his legs, not wanting to see the worry on Phil’s face. The door swung open and nearly hit Dan. Phil stepped in, closing the door behind him and crouching down to Dan’s level.

“Dan, please talk to me,” Phil whispered, gently rubbing Dan’s back. “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Dan shook his head. “My stomach hurts again.”

Phil frowned. “Again?”

Dan lifted his head. “It’s been hurting all week.”

This further worried Phil. Why hadn’t Dan told him about this sooner? “Does it come and go or has it constantly been there?”

“Only after I ate meals. I thought it was the university food, but I guess not.”

Phil could see how upset this was making Dan, so he decided to wait until later when he was feeling better to talk about it. He placed a hand on Dan’s cheek, letting the younger boy lean into it and close his eyes. “How about you go lay down in my bed while I go buy you some medicine, alright? We can talk about what to do later.” Dan nodded in agreement, eyes fluttering back open as Phil removed his hand from Dan’s cheek. He helped Dan get to his bed, where the younger boy curled up with his arms around his stomach. Phil tucked him in and pressed a kiss to his head, promising to be back in ten minutes.

Phil waited until the next day to bring up going to the doctor. The two were cuddling on the couch, Dan settled between Phil’s legs. His head was resting on Phil’s chest with Phil’s arms tight around him.

“Hey Dan?”

Dan looked up at Phil, his fringe falling into his eyes.

“Do you think you should see a doctor about your stomach?”

Phil felt Dan instantly tense. He obviously didn’t want to go to the doctor, even though it would only get worse the longer he waited. “I really don’t want to. Can we just wait another week?”

Phil shook his head. “It’ll only get worse. I don’t mean to scare you Dan, but it could be something serious.”

Dan sighed, hiding his face in Phil’s chest. “I’ll go tomorrow, if it’ll make you happy.”

Phil smiled, kissing Dan’s hair. “It would. I want my boyfriend happy and healthy.”

“Ew, you’re being sappy.”

Phil lifted Dan’s head and began planting kisses over his face, making Dan scrunch his noise. “Yes, I am,” Phil said teasingly between kisses. “Because I love you.” “Noo,” Dan giggled, face turning pink. “Stop it.”

Phil planted a kiss on Dan’s nose, then on his lips. He smiled into the kiss as he felt Dan sigh contently. “Never.”

Dan pulled away, looking fondly at Phil. “I love you too.” He leaned back in, the two getting lost in each other.

A week later, however, the two found themselves in A&E. Dan was staring at the ground, a hand pressed against his stomach. Even with the pills prescribed from the doctor, Dan’s stomachaches became more frequent and painful. It had gotten to the point where Dan was skipping meals to avoid the pain that came after them. Phil had been worried the entire time, insisting that Dan stayed at his place until he got better. Dan hadn’t gone to class at all, instead spending most of the day curled up in Phil’s bed with stomach pains. Phil drew the line when Dan had thrown up his lunch.

“Is your stomach feeling any better now?” Phil leaned over and whispered. He was a bit conscious of the looks they were getting, considering they were two young adults with matching haircuts and skinny jeans.

Dan shrugged. “Not really. But it’s not as bad as when I threw up.”

Phil sighed. Dan was obviously upset about having to come to the A&E, not to mention how unwell he felt. The only thing they could hope for now was that they could get in and out as quickly as possible.

Eventually, Dan was called back. After some examination and discussion, the doctor concluded that Dan would need surgery. It was a simple one that wouldn’t take long, meaning Dan would be out sooner. It was scheduled for tomorrow, meaning Dan would have to stay overnight. Unfortunately, Phil wouldn’t be allowed to stay once visiting hours were over. Knowing Dan was in safe hands and he’d be called if anything went wrong, Phil kissed Dan before reluctantly leaving.

The surgery went well for Dan, and when Phil arrived, Dan was already awake and feeling much better. At least, that’s what Phil assumed. Dan was very loopy from the amount of morphine he received. It was hard to understand much of what he was saying, or even to get him to understand what was being said to him. Dan slept on and off through the day, Phil always by his side, occasionally waking up to talk gibberish. Phil didn’t mind; he thought Dan was awfully cute. Then again, when didn’t he?

In the evening, Dan was a bit more coherent, so the doctors talked to them about what was going to happen next.

“He’ll have to stay a few more days to make sure everything is going fine, and he’ll have lots of pills to take, but other than that he should be fine. The surgery was simple enough and as long as there’s no complications, he’ll be out of here in no time.”

Phil nodded intently as the doctor spoke, while Dan stared at him through glossy eyes. He understood what the doctor was saying and at the same time didn’t. He concluded that he would simply have Phil take care of whatever it was. With that thought, and no regards to the doctor who was still speaking, Dan turned back over and fell asleep.

“I’m hungry.”

Phil looked up from his phone to see Dan laying on his side, pouting. He raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t you eat two hours ago?”

Dan sighed, flopping on his back. “Yeah but that was gross hospital food. I would barely even call it a meal.”

Phil wasn’t too surprised Dan was complaining about being hungry; he had seen the meal size and it wasn’t very satisfying. Not to mention, Dan was still growing and ate a lot. Phil would know. Dan has proven that he can eat half of Phil’s food in two days. “Well, I don’t think you can get a second lunch here.”

“Not that I want any,” Dan grumbled, crossing his arms. “I miss real food. The kind you’d dress up fancy and go to an overpriced restaurant for.”

Phil rolled his eyes fondly at Dan’s dramatics. “Unfortunately, you’re not allowed to leave the hospital to visit such restaurants.”

Dan smiled slightly. “Well, there is such thing as fast food restaurants.”

Phil raised his eyebrows again.

Dan rolled over, giving Phil his best puppy eyes. “Will you be a kind boyfriend and get me McDonald’s?”

“No way, Dan,” Phil said, trying his best to sound stern. “That’s too risky.”

“It’ll be fine, you can wrap it up in a jacket. It won’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about. My tummy’s fine now.”

Phil tried to stay stern, but the sad eyes and way Dan was pouting was making his heart ache.

“Phil,” Dan whined, “please?”

It wasn’t fair. Dan was too cute and Phil was too in love to say no. He stood up, giving in. “Fine.”

Dan’s face lit up into a big smile, making Phil’s heart squeeze with affection. “I love you Philly!”

Phil sighed, leaning down and giving Dan a kiss. “Love you too. But if I get caught it’s your fault.”

Dan shrugged. “Whatever, nerd. Now go get me some food.”

Phil left, shaking his head in exasperation. Dan waited restlessly for him to return, his stomach begging him for food. Finally, after what seemed to be forever, Phil returned with a jacket bundle that held the holy greasiness that was McDonald’s food. Dan made grabby hands for it, mouth watering with anticipation.

“Jeez, Dan calm down,” Phil snickered. He handed Dan the bundle, letting him unravel it to reveal a McDonald’s bag.

Dan tore open the bag and pulled out the burger container. He opened it and picked up the burger, taking a bite. He moaned. “God, this tastes like heaven.”

Phil watched with great amusement as Dan savored the preservative-packed burger like it was a five star meal. “Do you need a moment with your burger?”

“Shut up. You’d do the same thing if you tasted the hospital food here.” He practically inhaled the rest of his burger, then flopped back against the bed.

“There’s some fries in there as well,” Phil pointed out.

Dan’s eyes widened and he snatched up the bag, pulling out the fries. “You’re an angel,” he said breathlessly.

Phil snorted. “You’re welcome. Now share some with me.”

Dan held out the fries, allowing Phil to grab some. The two ate their fries in silence. Dan finished the fries off as fast as the burger, stuffing the empty container into the bag. “Seriously, Phil, thank you for that.”

Phil smiled, standing up so he could drop a kiss on Dan’s forehead. “Anything for you.”

Dan pretended to be disgusted, but his pink cheeks betrayed him.

“Now do me a favor and keep getting better, alright?”

Dan smiled softly. “I will.” He took Phil’s hand in his own, looking down like he always did whenever he said something affectionate. “I have you, after all. I know you’ll take care of me.”

And he was right. Phil would always be there for him, and Dan would do it right back. All because they loved each other.

[star-valo]

Better by Markiplier - Day Twelve

Ok, so here’s one thing I’ve not really talked about in the almost two weeks I’ve been doing this daily update. One thing I wanted to sort was my body shape because it’s become something I’m not happy with and something I don’t like.

Gonna stick a trigger warning here just to be on the safe side, Weight and stuffs, yanno, just incase someone reads this lol

As someone who for years was bordering on anorexia as well as low self esteem and a massive dose of self loathing, most of which (if not all) stemming from Bullying, I’m scared of the way my body looks now.

Now my mum isn’t the thinnest, she’s the first to admit, but she absolutely loathes herself, and that’s definately affected me. I do not want to get to her size or level of self loathing because I know I won’t be able to handle it.

I have always been a twig. honestly, There was a joke in school about sticking me in a corset to see just how skinny I could go, see if I vanished. but from working where I did for the past two years, I have gained 10 kilos. And I hate it. Now the last thing I want to do is focus on numbers here because that’s gonna kick off my eating disorders again, which I don’t want. I was not healthy.

I’m now no longer fitting into my cosplays, which is leaving me in tears before conventions. I’m scrutinising my body in mirrors, clothing, costumes... it’s takign the fun out of all that I do. I stay inside because I don’t have to put on anything more than a hoodie and my Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza sweat pants.

I’m stubbornly refusing to buy new jeans despite having to literally force myself into the ones I have, which squishes everything up over the top and makes me cry all over again.

I felt that things were getting better, slowly, because It was getting easier to put my jeans on, but that’s really just down to the fact I’ve now got to talc up my legs to get them on now.

I used to really like how my back looked, dunno why, maybe its’ because you don’t get to see my face properly if you’re looking at my back, or in my case, my back in the mirror. I had a nicely defined spine and shoulder blades. i could tilt my body and I thought it looked quite alluring (and for someone with my self worth, it felt kinda nice)

I have just done the same thing in the mirror now and absolutely hated it.

That needs to be my focus. That needs to be what I work on most now. I can’t excersise at home because of my parents, My dad makes fun of me for my weight as it is, and makes fun of me when I even try to excersise because of course, he knows best. Mum just feels shit when i mention my weight at all because of the above mentioned (and dad does the same to her too, and I’d like to avoid his mocking of me shifting to her)

I know I need to do things but I’m not sure what. I’ve started to cut back on what I eat, picking “healthier” options where I can, restricting my portion sizes. I want to start walking the dog regularly, but It’s my jeans that are holding me back. I don’t want to go out in them and I feel extra fat in skirts because they’re all waist ones. I’ve always worn things that sit on my hips. Always. I don’t like the pressure of fabric on my stomach, I never have.

This really has no resolution, No me going “I’m going to go jogging for 10 miles every day!” because I know that’s not a realistic claim for me to make. I think me feeling unwell the last couple of days hasn’t helped things, but something needs to change and I don’t know what

It feels good to type it though, to write it down and get it out of my head. It’s always been a coping mechanism of mine, one I should probably pick back up in physical form. A notebook or something,

But yeah, in regards to my other stuff, I’ve not done my makeup, I’m pretty sure the eyeliner I’ve been using is what’s making my eyes gunky so I’m on the look out for something new to try. I just don’t even want to face my hair at the moment, not with my current head space. And I drew Luna from Sailor Moon today. And last night I drew Twilight from MLP because she was easy. So yeah, so far, I’ve drawn every day since I started my book, which I think was on day two or three?

I’ll get there. Eventually. I’ll do it :)

[mystwright]

Lone Wolf PT.1

Characters: You and Taehyung (V)

Word Count: 3275

Genre: Smut

“Guys, look, there he is.”

“Who?” You asked as you looked up and saw nothing but a giant crowd of people walking to and from their class.

“Right there! In the denim jacket by our homeroom. Tae! You know, the guy who I told you about a few months ago.. Oh, come on! I swear, you guys never listen to me! There he is!”

“A few months ago? Who would remember that? We can't even remember what we just learned in math class 5 minutes ago”

“Speak for yourself! I’m ready for the test on friday” You replied laughing.

“You know what she means Y/N! Oh crap, he’s walking towards us! Pretend that I didn't say anything!”

Tae continued to walk on by without even giving you girls a glance. Once he passed by, your friend continued.

“Oh god. That was a close one. Anyways, I heard he beat up some kid last Friday night after the football game”

You couldn't help but laugh as you walked with your friends.

“What? Who did he beat up? I doubt he’d be here if he really did that” You replied. 

“Yeah, right. He always gets away with stuff”

“Must be nice.”

“Oh yeah, maybe you should ask him to share some tips with you. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind”

“I’m not going to go up to him! He’d probably ignore me anyways.”

You continued to laugh as you listened to your friends arguing with each other.

“Alright guys, i have to get to class before the bell rings. I’ll talk to you guys later, okay?”

“Aww Y/N! It wouldn’t kill you to be a few minutes late”

“I bet she just wants to see Jin”

“Trust me, it will kill me! Believe it or not but Mrs. Turner won’t accept late papers anymore. She say’s it’s her way of preparing us for college since we’re all going to be graduating and facing the real world soon. And you guys! I keep telling you that I don’t like him!”

Your friends winked at you.

“Alright little miss perfect! We’ll see you later then. Have fun with Jin!”

You shooed them away as fast as you could and walked in. Once you got in class, you sat down to grab your paper out of your bag. Before you turned it in though, you took a glance at your phone.

You saw that you had 3 unread text messages and so you swiped your phone open.

* Y/N *

* Meet me in the boys locker room in 10 minutes * 

* Don’t worry, everyone is in the auditorium for a meeting with the principal. They won’t be back for a while. ;) *

Class had not even started yet and already you were being asked to leave. You put your phone down and turned to see if Jin was in class. His seat was empty. 

You picked up your phone again.

*And if I say no? * You replied.

* Then I’ll have to punish you later *

You scoffed as you read the reply but you began to plot your way out of class. You grabbed your paper and all of your belongings and went to your teacher’s desk. 

“Hello Mrs. Turner”

“Oh Y/N! As expected from you, you’re right on time! Please put your paper in this pile along with the others”

You did as you were told but continued to stand by her desk.

“Mrs. Turner?”

“What is it Y/N?”

“I’m not feeling to great. May I be excused from class today? To be honest, with all of these finals and projects coming up, I’m feeling a little unwell. Would it be okay if I stopped by the nurse’s office?”

A look of concern grew on your teacher’s face.

“Oh yes, Y/N! I understand! Let me write you a hall pass! Come back when you feel better, okay? And don’t worry, I won’t mark my best student absent”

You took the pass after she finished signing it.

“Thank you Mrs. Turner”

You let out a sigh of relief once you were out the door.

“Wow. That was waaay easier than I thought” You whispered to yourself. You took your phone out of your pocket.

*On my way now*

The west gym wasn’t too far away. With your pass hanging out, none of the school security guards bothered to stop you. Once the coast was clear, you almost ran your way to the boy’s locker room. 

You stood outside the entrance and looked at the locked door. You took your phone out again.

*I’m here, but how do I get in?*

Before you knew it, the door popped open.

“Y/N! Hurry up and get in before someone sees”

You made your way in.

“Thank god I finally made it here...” You said as you began to drop your heavy bag on the floor.

Once you heard the thud from your bag, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap from behind you and around your waist.

“Tae, why did it have to be the boy’s locker room?” You asked.

Tae laughed as he hugged you tighter from behind.

“Is this not romantic enough for you?”

You turned to face him and wrapped your arms around his neck

“I’m swooning at the thought of all the stinky clothes and socks that get thrown around here.”

He smiled.

“Fine, let’s head to the coach’s office then.”

Concern grew on your face.

“What?! Tae, that sounds like a horrible idea! What if he walks in?”

“Trust me, no one is going to walk in. They're all at that stupid assembly, remember? Come on Y/N, we won’t get caught. I promise.”

Tae held your hand and lead the way to the office.

“If we’re lucky, the door will be unlocked”

He turned it and to your surprise, the door swung open.

“Oh wow, it’s actually really nice in here” You said as you looked around.

Tae let go of your hand and took a seat on the chair behind the desk. You couldn't help but see a mischievous smile grow on his face.

“Now Y/N, I heard that you’ve been a pretty bad student… What is this I hear about you lying to your teacher and skipping class?”

You rolled your eyes at him.

“You’re the worst, you know that?”

“I can’t hear you Y/N, why don’t you come a little bit closer?”

He was egging you on and you knew it. By now you were all too familiar with his games but you loved to play.

You slowly made your way over to him on the other side of the desk.

“Do you know what they're saying about you?” You asked.

He gave you a sly smile.

“People sure do like to talk, don’t they? What are they saying now?”

You motioned for him to back the chair away to make room for you. Once the chair was pushed away, you continued.

“That you beat up some student last Friday night.” You said as you sat on the desk in front of him.

Tae smirked and got out of the seat and walked towards you.

“Now you know that's not true.”

He leaned in closer to you.

“I was with you all Friday night, remember?”

The image of him slowly thrusting into to you as you moaned his name late that night began to cloud your mind.

He noticed you shiver as he ran his hands along your rib cage. He could tell that you wanted him to touch you more.

“Thinking about us again? He asked biting his bottom lip..

You nodded.

Tae placed his thumb on your lips and traced it slowly.

“How did I get so lucky? You're so naughty Y/N.”

He leaned in to give you a kiss but you felt hungry for so much more. From your lips, he slowly made his way down to your neck. As always, he was never one to disappoint..

“Get up and turn around”

You did as you were told and got up quickly to turn around. You were more than ready to feel him inside of you again and so you began to rush getting your pants off. First you kicked off your shoes but then you were stopped..

“Woah Y/N, slow down.”

He took a seat in the chair again and waited.

Were you reading him wrong? Now he wanted to be teased? Well, if that was how he was going to play…

You undid your button and zipper and began to slowly shimmy your way out of your skinny jeans. Inch by inch, you began to reveal your lacy black underwear to him.

Tae watched in amazement. Who knew you were wearing that underneath? He couldn’t help but imagine what your bra looked like too.

“Take it all off or they’ll be in the way.” He said.

“Not yet” You teased.

You kicked your jeans off and bent over the desk a little bit so he could have a small view of what was in store for him..

Tae grinned and raised his hands to run along your hips and then around your lightly clothed butt.

You got up from the desk to turn around and moved his hands away..

“Like I said, not yet.” You replied facing him.

Tae continued to watch as you pulled your shirt up to  reveal to him the matching black lace bra you had on. At this point, Tae couldn’t ignore the growing problem in his pants anymore and you knew.

“Open your legs”

You smiled and replied.

“No”

He raised an eyebrow as if to challenge you.

“No? Are you sure that’s your answer?”

You moved your arms over to undo your bra hook and nodded. As soon as your bra fell to the ground, you moved on to removing your underwear. Once they were off, you stood in front of him completely naked. For a split moment, you felt like it was your first time again. Your cheeks began to flush a pretty pink but looking at him, you knew it was over for him because not once did he ever take his eyes off of you.

“You're so beautiful Y/N”

In that moment, he could only see you and you wanted to be who it was that he saw.

As he continued to watch, you ran a hand over your exposed breasts and pinched your nipples. You let out a small moan and then your other hand traveled down to your burning core and you began to rub slow circles while you called out his name.

Tae bit his bottom lip again and you couldn't keep up your light teasing anymore.

“Come play with me” You begged as you turned to lean over the desk again..this time slowly opening your legs to reveal your wet core to him..

He came up behind you and brought his fingers to you. As he pushed his fingers through your curls, you began to lightly moan from his touch. Once he found your clit, you hissed in a breath as he touched your sensitive button.

“That’s it, isn't it?”

You began to moan and squirm as he increased his pressure on you.

“Do you want to come for me?

“Yess” You replied

He trailed his fingers slowly down your wet opening.

“What did you say?”

“Yes Tae, yes” You replied breathlessly as you were still bent over the desk and vulnerable to his touch.

You were becoming a mess and Tae wanted nothing more than to push his hard cock into you but he wasn't going to give you that satisfaction yet after you teased him..

He moved his hand away and you whimpered from the lost contact.

You began to whine and turned your head to look at him .

“Why did you stop?”

“I have to punish you”

“What? Why?”

Before you knew it, you felt his hand spank your ass without any warning.

*smack*

You let out a small whimper and then called out his name.

“Tae!”

“You think I'm going to let you get away with teasing me?” He asked as he slowly rubbed where he just just spanked you.

*smack*

You anticipated for him to do it again but to your surprise he didn't.  Instead, he pushed one finger and then two inside you.. You lightly moaned and then began moving your hips against him. Right when you were getting close, he pulled his fingers out again.

*smack*

Another whimper.

“Do you like getting spanked?” He asked as he rubbed the pink marks on your skin.

“Yes”

*smack*

He pushed his fingers back in again and did the same thing. Once he felt you coming close, he pulled his fingers out and then spanked your ass again.

You couldn’t help it anymore.

“Please Tae, please let me come” You begged him.

Finally taking your plea, he inserted his fingers into you again. You began to move wildly as he continued thrusting his fingers deeper into you. With his free hand, he moved it back to your clit. He began to rub slow circles around and when he could sense that you were close, he picked up the pace again.

“Come for me Y/N”

You felt yourself bursting into a million pieces at his command. Soon he was trying to soothe your moans by kissing you all over your back.. But now it was your turn again to get back at him.

As you gathered yourself together, you got up from the desk and turned around to help remove his clothes.

“You’re so mean Tae” You whined as began to pull his pants down. He just grinned and pulled his shirt off.

Once he was completely naked, you pushed him to sit back on the chair and climbed on top of him. Just the slightest touch of his cock rubbing up against you was driving you mad but you wanted to see him lose his control and whimper just like you.

“Do you trust me?” You asked him as you peppered his lips with small kisses.

He seemed suspicious but nodded.

You spread your legs and begin to run his cock with one hand in between your folds. You moved back and forth, back and forth but never let him penetrate you and only letting him rub against your lips..

For a while, your sweet torment continues and then he finally gets it.

His breathing is getting heavy and calls your name

“Y/N..”

It’s close to where you want him to be but it wasn’t quite the state you wanted him to be in yet. You kiss him to silence him and then you slide down just a little bit so only his tip is inside you. When you feel him try to inch in some more, you remove yourself up and begin to rub his throbbing cock with your wet lips again. Moving back and forth, back and forth.

“Do you want to be inside me?” You ask as you lower yourself onto his tip again.

Tae lets out a small moan and you smile at your tiny accomplishment. Inch by inch, you finally let him thrust fully into you. His rhythm is slow as first but then picks up. He gently grabs your face and kisses you as he pulls out and then thrusts back in again. When you two stop kissing you lean in to muffle your moans in his shoulders as he grabs your hips and thrusts harder.

When he’s close, he calls your name and you tighten yourself around him and hold onto him like you're afraid to let go.

Once you got your clothes back on, he came up to you and kissed you tenderly on your lips. 

“Did I hurt you?” He asked as he hugged you.

You smiled and shook your head. For someone who gave off such a tough demeanor, he was actually quite sweet and caring.

“No. I enjoyed it a lot.”

He kissed you again.

“You just keep surprising me Y/N.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, I like that about you.”

“Can we meet up again after school? Maybe go get something to eat or drink?” He asked.

You shook your head no.

“Sorry, not today. I have a leadership meeting after school today.”

He leaned his forehead against yours.

“When can I be with you again then?” He asked.

Looking into his eyes, you felt weak.

“Maybe tomorrow night? I'll have to text you when I'm free through”

He smiled and traced your lips again with his.

“Okay Y/N. Let me know, okay? I’ll be waiting”

As a promise, you gave him one last kiss.

“Now, let’s go before we really do get caught. I feel like we’ve been here too long. Also, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look coach in the eye again after what we did to his office...”

He laughed and you led the way out.

“Oh, my bag! I think I forgot it inside.” You said once you got outside. 

“I have it here Y/N” Tae said.

You turned and saw him carrying your pink bag and couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you know that you make everything look good?” You asked.

He shook his head.

“Please don’t say that”

He took your backpack off and handed it to you.

“You really do! And thank you”

“Y/N!”

You stopped dead in your track and turned to see Jin running up to you.

“Y/N!” He called again.

You turned to Tae.

“If he asks, say that you helped me get back from the nurse’s office”

He nodded.

Jin ran up and gave you an unexpected hug.

“Y/N, I’ve been trying to find you.”

You looked at Tae and he turned away.

“Once I heard you felt sick, I waited for you to return to class. When you didn’t, I texted you and you didn't answer”

Jin turned and saw Tae next to you.

“Do you need something?” He asked.

“No, I was just leaving”

Tae walked away without looking at you. You felt horrible watching him leave.

“Why were you with him Y/N?” Jin asked.

“He was helping me”

“Helping you?”

“Yeah, I felt a little weak and dropped my bag. He happened to be nearby and picked it up for me”

You hoped your lie work.

“Watch out for him Y/N. I'm surprised he didn't steal anything” Jin replied.

You couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“He didn't steal anything. I’m fine Jin. Now if you don't mind, I'm late to my next class”

You began to make your way to class but Jin followed.

“I'll walk you there Y/N”

“Really, Jin, I'm fine.”

It looked as if Jin wanted to say something else but he gave up.

“Alright Y/N. I'll see you at the meeting later today then”

You walked away furious. How could he had said something like that about Tae? You grabbed your phone and messaged him.

*Tae*

*Y/N, what's wrong?*

You felt a sigh of relief.

*I didn't think you would talk to me again. I’m sorry about what happened…* 

*Why would I stop talking to you? It’s fine Y/N*

You stared at your screen and thought about what you should write.

*I miss you*

You didn't know what else to say but you did miss him and wanted him to know.

*I miss you too Y/N*

*Forget what I said about the meeting today. I’d rather spend it with you*

*You don't have to do that Y/N*

*Please?*

*I’ll see you after class then, Y/N”

PT.2 Here PT.3 Here

Masterlist

[chaebunny-moved]

solace.

word count: 1260 pairing: hyungwon x reader notes: fluff, college au warnings: mentions of alcohol+smut, language (only like one line tbh)

This isn’t really the best remedy for your massive headache and unrelenting flu. It’s been more than a week, and you thought it would be long gone by now; which is exactly why you promised your best friend Minhyuk that you’d be his plus one to the party today.

Not exactly a great decision.

The room is dark and smoky, mixed with the putrid scent of alcohol and sweat. You clutch Minhyuk’s arms tighter as the two of you weave through the scattered groups of intoxicated partygoers. He leads you to the backyard, and you sigh in relief to be able to breathe something beside bad decisions.

“Hey guys!” Minhyuk greets the group of guys standing around the beer keg, and slides the door closed behind you.

They’re Minhyuk’s fraternity brothers, and this is actually the first time you’ve met any of them. You’ve only ever heard about the infamous boys; mostly from your girl friends. It’s always something along the lines of ‘they’re all so hot’ and ‘you’re so lucky you’re friends with one of them’. And occasionally, there’s always the ‘I would let all of them fuck me at the same time’. You weren’t really too fond of those comments, mostly because you didn’t want your best friend to be involved with any of that.

You peek out from behind Minhyuk, examining the four guys who are all holding red cups. They take turns giving handshakes, before their eyes fall onto you.

“Hello, you must be Y/N,” the blond one approaches, flashing a charming smile. The second thing you notice are his huge biceps that appear even bigger thanks to his sleeveless blue tee. You swallow hard. He definitely had the looks and body.

“Um yes, I’m Y/N.” You gather the courage to step forward and greet the boys, face slightly flushed. Your friends were right; these guys are definitely something else.

“I’m Hoseok,” the blond one says, giving you a seductive wink. His cheeks are slightly red, and he smells faintly of alcohol. It’s clear that he’s pretty tipsy right now.

The others greet you one by one.

“I’m Hyunwoo,” the tall one bows.

“I’m Changkyun,” the other one adds, before chugging everything in his cup. He licks the froth off his upper lip, and turns to the guy spacing out next to him. He sighs. “And… this is Hyungwon.”

You eyes widen at his features. Unconsciously, you scan him from head to toe. His long legs looks really good in his ripped skinny jeans, and his slim body is only covered by a loose white long sleeve. You look up at him, and you almost forget to breathe. His droopy eyes lift up after he catches you staring at him.

You retreat behind Minhyuk, and bury your face in his back. You’ve met your fill of guys in your life, and good looking ones too. You can’t quite pinpoint it, but there’s something about him.

Your face starts burning, and your head spins a little; you can’t tell if it’s your cold acting up again, or what.

The other guys seem to notice your infatuation, giving Hyungwon a ‘look’, but he has no idea.

Minhyuk steps aside, nudging you into the circle. “By the way, where’s the other two?” he asks the others.

“Jooheon’s passed out upstairs, and Kihyun is with the girl from yesterday,” Hoseok responds, refilling his cup at the keg.

“Ouu~ My little Kihyun is growing up,” Minhyuk sings, obviously amused.

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “You’re only like 20 days older than him…”

You chuckle at their banter; they all seem like really nice people. But you can’t help but notice Hyungwon, who stayed quiet the whole time. Is he feeling unwell too?

“Don’t worry about him,” Minhyuk assures, reading your mind. “He’s usually always tired, but even more so when he’s drunk.”

“I’m not drunk…” Hyungwon mumbles and then turns towards you. “And nice to meet you, I’m Hyungwon…” He takes you by surprise, and you can’t help but think his sleepy expression is adorable.

“Nice to meet you too,” you blush.

“Alright!” Hoseok exclaims. “And with that, let’s have a toast.” He strides over to the table, decked with every type of alcohol there is. The rest of you join him, as he starts lining up six shot cups.

Oh no, I definitely can’t drink right now. Your eyes shift uneasily, patting your warm face with the back of your hand. You still feel a bit feverish, and alcohol is just going to make it worse.

“To celebrate our new friend!” Hoseok pours their drinks without hesitation. Hennessy for Hyunwoo, Ciroc for Minhyuk, Smirnoff for Changkyun, and Grey Goose for himself and Hyungwon. “And for you, pretty lady?”

Normally, you’d be more than happy with a shot of vodka as well, but your recurring headaches said otherwise. This whole time you’ve been smiling through the occasionally dizziness, making sure to make a good impression.

Ruining the mood is the last thing you want to do.

“I’ll… have a Grey Goose as well,” you smile meekly. It’s just a shot right? It can’t be that bad. 

He grabs the bottle again, pouring it into the shot cup in front of you. “I’m glad we have the same taste,” he smirks.

Minhyuk swings an arm around you. “And she may not look it, but she can really hold her alcohol.”

“Oh? We’ll see about that,” Changkyun perks up. You grin uneasily, praying that this is the first and only shot you have to take.

You notice that Hyungwon’s been eyeing you this whole time. You look over in hopes that he’ll stop staring, but he doesn’t take his gaze off. Defeated and flustered, you try to focus on everyone else.

“Alright,” Hoseok announces, lifting his cup, “Let’s drink to Y/N!” The others put up their drinks as well, except you and Hyungwon. You take your cup wearily, and toast with them.

Before you can bring it up to your lips, Hyungwon shuffles over to your side, and takes the drink out of your hands.

“I’m borrowing her for tonight,” he gestures to Minhyuk, before drinking the shot in one go. Minhyuk and the rest are just as confused as you are, as they just stand there, stunned.

Hyungwon grabs you by your hand, takes you through the screen doors, and up the stairs on the right. You couldn’t even comprehend what was going on until you were sitting on his bed.

“U-um…” you finally manage to make out. “I don’t think w-”

“Relax. I’m not interested,” he yawns, laying down on the bed. You don’t know if you’re suppose to be feeling relieved or offended, but you’re just glad that you aren’t down there anymore.

“What was that for?” You peek at him while his eyes are shut, and quietly admire his long lashes and soft skin. Even when he’s sleeping, he’s cute…

“Aren’t you sick?” he mumbles. “Alcohol makes it worse.”

What? He noticed? You feel a bit happy that he was paying attention to you. Even Minhyuk thought you already got better. So he was just helping you out…

Your heart grows warmer and warmer as you admire his sleeping figure. You lay down next to him, pulling the covers over you.

The soft pillow instantly relieves the lightheadedness you were feeling, and your whole body seems to loosen.

“Thank you, Hyungwon,” you whisper softly

“Mhm…” he mumbles, half asleep.

You start drifting off as well, and the last thing you remember seeing is his sleeping face. At that moment, you thought to yourself, how much you wished he would be the last person you see every night.

From now… until forever.

a/n: i wrote this on the go ah sorry if there are any mistakes! i tried my best to  proofread but i get headaches on the bus ;~; thanks for reading!

[ilovemesomekillianjones]

In Sickness and In Health

Based on a prompt request from @like-waves-on-the-beach for some sick!Killian.

Summary: Emma is sick and tired, literally. As always, she perseveres by pushing through her bout of the flu because only Emma takes care of Emma. When Killian comes down with the same flu, how will he handle it? Is he a cut above the average ailing male, or will Killian manage the man flu the same way he does most things... with panache?

Thank you to my beta @xhookswenchx. I appreciate you knocking this out so quickly!!

Rated M

7.7K words

Read on ao3         

Emma’s head was pounding, she felt as if it might pop like a balloon at any moment, and her eyes actually hurt. Sitting at her office desk with her eyes closed she softly rubbed her temples.  Who messed with the goddamn heat, it’s freezing! She groaned aloud when she realized even her internal voice sounded whiny and sick. She didn’t dare verbalize any of her complaints, of course; she couldn’t have people thinking she couldn’t handle something as simple as the flu.  This was the third day, and although she wasn’t running as high of a fever anymore, she still felt like shit. The past two days she’d gritted her way through work, not wanting to shirk her responsibilities. This morning she had decided enough was enough. She put on her favorite new blouse, a pair of ultra skinny jeans, and opted to leave her hair down, curling it. She was determined to at least look good if she couldn’t feel good.

“Emma, why don’t you go home and rest? Your father and newest deputy are more than capable of holding down the fort in your absence.” Killian had walked up behind her and was gently massaging the base of her skull.

It felt like heaven as Killian rubbed her aching neck. “Newest deputy, I like that,” she mumbled.

“I’ve heard he’s quite dashing, and rather well endowed,” he whispered into her ear.

Emma laughed then grabbed her head, “It hurts to laugh.”

“I would never know by looking at you that you still feel unwell love, you look positively radiant.” Killian wasn’t just putting her on either, she was dressed in one of her flowery shirts, and jeans that only served to enhance her every curve. She’d even curled her hair and left it down. She’d been red-nosed and puffy eyed the past two days, but she looked like her normal self today. “We are fine here, Swan, quit being stubborn and go home to rest,” Killian told her again. “No one will think you weak, I will duel anyone who says otherwise.”

Emma just rolled her eyes, “Such a chivalrous gentleman, even when threatening physical violence.”

“Fine, Swan, I will beat up anyone who talks shit,” he said in an attempt at modern day colloquialism.

She laughed again at his antics, “Is that your impression of not being a gentleman?”

Just then the phone rang and Emma picked it up before Killian could reach for it, “Sheriff’s Office.”

Killian watched as Emma rolled her eyes at the person on the other end of the phone, which judging by the caterwauling, was Leroy. He waited for her to explain the situation as she stood up from her chair.

Emma opened her top desk drawer, pulled out a package of Dayquil and took two while chugging a bottle of water, hoping they would kick in by the time they got to the mines. “It seems there is a thief down at mines,” Emma said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “I swear, one day you’re going to be arresting me Deputy Jones, for kicking that over reactionary-”

“Calm yourself love, before you say something you don’t mean.” Killian threw a comforting arm around her shoulder and squeezed her arm. “You know this is the dwarf’s repertoire, just as you and I go to Granny’s each morning to grab coffee and cocoa, he likes to cause a stir, I’m pretty sure he tries to interrupt us whenever we have a quiet moment. He probably saw me rubbing your neck through a spyglass and picked up his phone.”

“Why the hell would he do that?” she laughed.

“Can’t say I’ve any clue, love. Why do bluebirds love your mother? Sometimes there is no reasonable answer.”

“You’re driving today, babe,” Emma said as she tossed him the keys to the bug.  

“Wait, you’re offering to let me drive? You must be sicker than I thought.”

Emma tried to give him the best ‘unamused wife’ look she could muster, but couldn’t help the snort that slipped past her lips. It was true, she still wanted all the control in some instances, like being the one to drive… always. In her defense she was pretty sure she’d spotted her first gray hair the day after Killian’s first driving lesson.  It had been easier to teach Henry!

The fresh air, sunlight, and medication were starting to kick in, despite Killian grinding to an abrupt halt three times on the ride over.

Killian, ever the gentleman, walked to the passenger side of the bug to open the door for Emma, then hurried around to the driver’s side side. Sitting down at the helm, it never failed to make him smile that Emma had outfitted the steering wheel with a special attachment for his hook, so he’d be able to successfully operate the stick shift vehicle.

“Alright, let’s go solve this ‘crime’” Emma said, putting the word crime in air quotes.

~K ♥ E~

“It’s about time,” the angry little man sputtered as he emerged from the mine. “Someone’s been stealing our lunches! If there’s anything that makes me grumpy, it’s an empty stomach.”

“Is there anything that doesn’t make him angry,” Killian whispered in her ear, causing her to chuckle.

“This is no laughing matter, Sheriff, there is a thief in our midst, what are you going to do about it?”

“Do you have any other information for me, Leroy?”

“Nope. All I know is we keep our lunches in the mining train which is about 30 feet down yonder.” Leroy pointed to the depths of the mine. “We work our way toward it, when we reach it, it’s lunch time.”

“Okay, so if the lunches are further inside the cave then whoever took them still has to be in there,” Emma reasoned.

“Have at it, Sister.” Leroy indicated for her to enter further into the mine with a sweep of his hand. “We are going to go grab lunch at Granny’s now that the law is here.”

“Got a flashlight?” Emma asked, holding her hand out expectantly. Thank god, for modern medicine, she thought, she was feeling much better, and not a moment too soon. Grabbing the flashlight she was handed, they headed into the cave. “I have no idea who we are going to find down here, hopefully no one from the Lion King has made it to Storybrooke,” she muttered, “just stay alert.”

“I’m a pirate love, I sleep with one eye open.”

Ten minutes into the cave they were unsure how long the damn thing went on for, and if they were going to find anyone this far in. They had come to a fork, and it was anyone’s guess which path to take.

“Bloody Hell, do you suppose we’re even still in Storybrooke?”

“Shhh, I hear something,” Emma whispered.

Listening intently, Killian heard rustling down the path that lead to their right. He drew his sword, still more comfortable with that, than with the standard 9mm he’d been issued upon taking this job. He made to step forward but Emma put her arm out, blocking him. She put her finger to her lips then motioned for him to follow her.  He just smiled adoringly at her need to lead, then followed closely.

“What the hell?”

Killian heard the questioning, but amused tone in her voice and knew immediately there was no danger. It didn’t surprise him, seeing as Leroy was the one who call in the complaint.  Stepping beside her and looking in the direction where Emma had the flashlight pointed he caught sight of what she was seeing. He laughed loudly, startling the family of thieves. “Our resident grouch and his crew were burgled by a family of raccoons. Bloody perfect!” He sheathed his sword, confident there would be no battle here.

Emma chuckled along with him, returning her gun to it’s holster. “Well I guess there’s really nothing to be done here, can’t arrest them.”

“Maybe you can magic them away to the woods, so they aren’t stuck in this infernal mine with the likes of Leroy.”

With a flick of her wrist the raccoon family and their lunchtime loot were whisked away.  As she started to walk back the way they came Killian reached out and grabbed her arm.

“Come here, you.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her without ceremony. “I love it when you’re all take charge-ish,” he told her between kisses.

“You do, do you?”

Before Killian could kiss her again he found himself pinned against the wall with her magic. “Just like that, love,” he growled, watching her as she sauntered toward him.

When Emma reached him, she released her magical hold on him, opting to hold him in place with her body. She laced her fingers with his, grabbed his hook on the other side, and pinned his arms against the rough cave wall. She rested her forehead to his, and smiled as he tried to kiss her, his mouth trying to capture hers.

“Don’t tease, Swan, it’s not very nice.”

“Who said I was nice?” she asked, pulling her head back to look him in the eye.  

“You forget, I know you better than most. I can read you, and I am madly in love with you. I know you can be nice. Perhaps you’re just feeling naughty right now?” He moved in to kiss her, but again, she pulled her lips just out of his reach, even as she still held him against the wall.  Her teasing was making him hard. He loved when she teased.

“Mmmm, maybe I am,” she whispered, “or, maybe I’m… sick. Yes, that’s it, I’m sick,” she said dropping the sultry timbre that she’d had only a moment ago.  

“And?”

“And I don’t want to get you sick.”

“Emma, we share a bed where you snore in my direction all ni-”

“I do not snore, and if I do, you’re not supposed to say,” she admonished.

“Ooookay, you don’t snore, you breathe... loudly, in my direction, and I haven’t gotten sick yet.  I haven’t lived over three centuries without learning how to keep myself healthy. Besides, I can handle the flu, my darling, just as you have.”

Killian had that smirk on his lips, the one she always wanted to kiss and lick and bite. He was nuzzling his nose against hers, trying like hell to reach her lips as she kept them just beyond his mouth’s reach.

“Please, Emma,” he whispered then gave her his most pout filled smolder.

She couldn’t resist him when he begged, and he knew it. Bastard! She hated when he used her weaknesses against her. Who was she kidding, she loved it. She gave in, sealing her lips to his, releasing his hand and hook in favor of running them through his hair. She felt his hand immediately grab her ass, just how she loved it, his fingers grazing her core from behind, his palm massaging and squeezing her cheek. The groan she heard come from him allowed his tongue to press against her mouth, and good idea or not, she couldn’t deny him. Emma opened, and her breath stuttered when she felt the long stroke his tongue gave hers.

As soon as Killian’s tongue was in her mouth, he knew she was putty in his hands. He continued to squeeze her ass knowing she appreciated his massaging touch. He used the position to pull her closer against him, wanting something to rut against. He grunted when she rolled her hips into him. “Fuck, I really want you right now.”

Emma gasped when he pulled her against his erection, and her hips thrusted into him of their own accord.  She continued to kiss him, the ebb and flow of his tongue in her mouth was exactly the motion she needed below. Removing one hand from his hair she slipped it between them to palm him through the denim of his signature black jeans. “God, you’re rock hard,” she panted into his mouth, feeling wetness pool between her legs.  

“Aye,” was all he said. He was very aware of his current state. Killian turned them around so Emma was against the cave wall, then rutted his hips against her. He broke from her mouth and began placing wet licking kisses along her jaw, continuing down her neck until he reached the opening of her blouse. He bit at the top of her breast when she gave his cock a gentle squeeze.

Emma tugged hard at his hair when his teeth sunk into her delicate flesh. Wanting to feel his mouth on her skin she reached up and unbuttoned her blouse, then ripped her bra below her breasts trussing them up for Killian’s perusal.

“Gods you look delectable, like this,” he murmured leaning back to ogle her.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer, I want to feel you.”

Killian’s head shot up at her words. “Are you quite certain, love?” he asked, already digging in his pocket for his phone.

“What?” Emma said, exasperation leaking into her tone.

“You would let me have a picture of you... for later use?” he smirked.

“It’s a figure of speech, Killian,” she deadpanned. When she saw his face fall, she almost giggled. “But you know what, I think I like the idea of you keeping a picture of me in case you ever need inspiration when I’m not around.”

His smile turned predatory as she spoke. She was leaned against the wall, hair framing her face and perky breasts. His hand almost shook as he unlocked his phone and searched for the little camera button, once he found it, he brought the phone up to capture a still of his gorgeous wife. Killian almost lost it when the screen focused in on her. She’d unbuttoned her pants and had one hand dipped inside her panties, while the other cupped her breast and pinched at her nipple, her face was the physical embodiment of titillation. “Fucking Hell,” he moaned, trying to concentrate. He snapped his pictures then rammed his phone back in his pocket and was back on her. He sucked her unattended nipple into his mouth and slipped his hand into her panties, joining hers. Her digits were already slick from being inside her.

Emma didn’t know what had brought on the courage to perform for him, she’d never dabbled in nudies or home films, but she could see herself wanting to with Killian. “Yes,” she called out when he slipped two of his fingers inside her, joining the one she already had there.  “Fuck that feels so good, Killian.” She pressed down onto their joined fingers, and pushed his head against her breast with her free hand. The sounds of his mouth suckling her sent new arousal between her thighs. “Kiss me,” she demanded, coaxing him up by his hair and attacking his mouth as soon as she was able. Reaching down, she unfastened his jeans and wrapped her hand around him.

Killian quickly withdrew his hand as soon as Emma grasped his dick. “As much as I love the way you touch me... and yourself,” he started while pulling her hand from her panties, “and I do,” he continued, pausing again to suck her finger into his mouth, tasting her arousal, “I really need to be inside you, because I want to feel you come all over my cock.”

Emma moaned at his dirty words and wasted no time pushing her pants and panties down her legs. She licked her lips in anticipation as he lowered his pants just below his ass, allowing his erection freedom. “You were, wrong.”

“About what?”

“The newest deputy is more than well endowed,” she purred, wrapping her hand around his cock and lining him up to her entrance.

Killian was lost watching her hand around him, listening to her praise. He looked into her green eyes and knew he would do anything she told him to. So when he heard her say the words, “Fuck me, Killian,” he didn’t delay in shoving his cock into her depths in one fluid thrust. He filled her so perfectly he thought his dick may have been made to pleasure only Emma Swan.  Her walls squeezed him perfectly, making it difficult to not be selfish and let her pull his orgasm from him immediately.

Emma bit down on her lip when he slammed home, silently adjusting to the sudden but delicious penetration. She concentrated on everything she felt, his hook at the small of her back, it’s tip poking at the top of her ass, his hand cupping the weight of her breast while running his thumb over her sensitive nipple, his mouth nipping at her ear and her jaw, his scruff as it dragged along her throat and shoulder. She felt herself contracting around his perfect cock as she allowed every sensation to assail her body and mind.  “Move.”

Without hesitance Killian withdrew and slammed home again, continuing with long, deep strokes. “You are so tight, love.” He took his hand from her breast to brace Emma from hitting the wall, then slid his hook from her back to her abdomen. Killian was hypnotized by the goosebumps that followed in his hook’s wake, he’d never get over how turned on she was by his metal appendage. Gliding it lower he pressed the rounded edge to her clit and massaged her in little circles, while continuing to pound into her.

Emma was watching his every move, and couldn’t stop the needy whimpers as she climbed higher.

“I can feel how close you’re getting, let go, for me? Let me feel you come all over my cock, Emma.”

His words made her breath hitch in her throat as she felt the beginning of orgasm starting deep inside where he bottomed out and propelling out in sparks of pleasure. She felt the blazing sensation in her clit throbbing with her rapid heartbeat, and the warmth of new arousal coating her thighs. She panted out his name, overwhelmed by the pull of her release.

“Oh fuck, Emma, yes just like that, bathe my cock, darling” he moaned. Killian’s head dropped forward and his eyes rolled shut as her channel rhythmically gripped his shaft, calling forth his own release. He thrust home, starting to spill into her while continuing short strokes, not willing to leave her heat as he came.

It was silent within the mine, save for their ragged breaths. Emma nuzzled her nose into his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, kissing along her cheekbone, “I think that is the longest I’ve gone without bedding you since the first 6 years you made me wait, please never get sick again.”

“Oh my god, Killian this is the third day, you act like it’s been a forever.”

“With the way I crave your body, it felt like forever.”

“Oh, you poor thing, all that suffering,” she laughed. Like he was the one sick for the last three days! “Ugh, now we have to walk a mile back to the car, and deal with Leroy.”

“I have a better idea, how about you poof us back to the car, and give the alarmist a call to let him know he was bested by a rodent.”

He gave her one of his winning smiles, and she melted just a little. “Are you just using me for my magic?”

“Of course not darling, I am using you for your tight little-”

She clamped her hand over his mouth before he could say another word. “Alright, Hook, let’s go.” Holding his hand she transported them back to her bug. She’d found that transporting, or poofing as Killian called it, and all her magic for that matter, had flourished while living with Killian and Henry.

Killian was surprised to see himself in the driver’s seat again, but decided to just go with it. He started to drive in the direction of their home as she put in the call to Leroy, letting him know that the thief was merely a scavenging family of furry friends.

“No, we are not taking them to be put down! I sent them to the woods, they shouldn’t be bothering you again.” Emma hung up the phone, and looked at Killian. “He is truly exhausting.”

“Aye,” Killian laughed.

Emma sat back in her seat and rubbed at her temples, she could feel the dull throb of her headache returning. She would be forever grateful when this passed. Rolling down her window for fresh air she noticed he’d taken a wrong turn. “For a three hundred year old pirate you sure have a shitty sense of direction,” she teased.

Killian just side eyed her, “Do I?”

Before Emma could tell him he was going the wrong way she realized just where he was heading. “Killian, I am fine! I do not need to go home.”

He pulled up in front of their home a few moments later, then turned toward her. He knew the actual reason she didn’t want to go home. She was still unsettled from the last time he’d been taken from her, and she was trying to keep it from happening again by sticking to his side. “Listen, love, I know you don’t need to go home, but it makes absolutely no sense for you to be on duty when your father and I can handle things. I promise you, I will be fine. Please, for me, rest, so you can get better. I do not wish to go through another drought if you fall ill again.”

“Fine, you win,” Emma said grouchily, she crossed her arms over her chest before continuing, “I’ll see you tonight. And Killian? Please stay safe.”  

He leaned over and gave her a chaste kiss, “As you wish.”

As Emma entered the house she pulled out her phone and shot a quick text message to her father.

2:41 p.m.

E: Please take care of my pirate?

D: Uhhh, you’re his wife.

E: He’s making me rest at home, so I can get better. I just don’t want him disappearing again.

D: Got it. I’ll keep an eye on him.

E: Thanks Dad ☺

D: That’s what dads are for.

Emma smiled. Since when were dads for taking care of pirate husbands who had a habit of finding trouble? Grabbing a bottle of water, she headed upstairs, showered quickly, put on warm jammies, then hopped into bed. She was out the minute her head hit the pillow.

~K♥E~

When Killian’s shift ended he headed to Granny’s to pick up dinner for himself and Emma. His mind wandered to their escapade earlier in the day. That must be why his body was sore.  Come to think of it, he was pretty achy all over, and quite tired. Bloody Hell, if this is what getting old is like we may have to move to Neverland, he thought. As quickly as the thought came he dismissed it, because fuck that.

Arriving home, dinner in hand, Killian found the house dark. He climbed the stairs and halfway up he heard her snores floating from the bedroom, he snickered remembering how offended she’d been at his mention of her snoring. Perhaps he should record her and show her tomorrow. Something told him she would find it neither enlightening nor as humorous as he does. He went downstairs and put their dinner in the fridge, then headed back upstairs. Despite feeling tired he had a hard time falling asleep, he was achy all over, and it felt positively glacial in their room, but when he covered, the sheets chafed irritatingly on his skin.

~K♥E~

Emma didn’t wake until the next morning. Stretching thoroughly, a wide smile hit her lips as she realized she felt like a new person. Her body wasn’t achy, she didn’t feel run down, and her head no longer felt like exploding. “Thank Zeus that is over,” she mumbled. She picked up her phone to check the time, and was shocked to see it was already half past ten. Killian was still asleep, he never slept late. He must have worn himself out with yesterday’s activities, she mused. They were both off duty today, and while she appreciated the day off, she was a little annoyed that she couldn’t have had a scheduled day off while she was sick.

Stretching out once more Emma decided this was the perfect morning, they’d both slept in, she felt normal again, and so she decided to wake Killian in his favorite way. As soon as she threw back the covers she was greeted by the sight of her husband’s body on display. He was flat on his back, his blunted arm behind his head tucked under the pillow, and his right hand flung over the side of the bed. She appreciated the chill that crossed his body, hardening his nipples. Placing her hand over his heart she was surprised to find his body already heated. Maybe he was having a hot dream. Running her hand the length of his upper body she caressed each scar and massaged each muscle. He groaned in his sleep, one of those deep, growly noises she loved, which is why when she slipped her hand under the waistband of his boxer briefs she was a little shocked to find him flaccid.

Emma honestly couldn’t remember a morning where he wasn’t rigidly erect and ready for action. Wrapping a smooth hand around him she gave him a few gentle strokes, but still nothing.  Deciding to take another route, she scooted down between his legs and pulled down his waistband just enough to free his cock. She kissed his tip, before sucking and licking her way down the underside of him. Out of nowhere she was blanketed in darkness. “What the fuck?” she muttered, realizing Killian had thrown the blankets over both of them. He was dead wrong if he thought he was getting a blow job while bedded down and still half asleep. She ripped the blanket off of herself and him, irritation sinking into her skin, but before she could get a word out she was cut off by the most pathetic sound she’d ever heard from Killian Jones.

“I’m cooooold!” he whined. Grasping for the blankets, he curled toward the middle of the bed, pulling his legs up into himself as if Emma wasn’t even there.

“Well I could’ve warmed you up, but never mind,” Emma pouted. She sat up facing away from him, arms folded across her chest, and feet on the ground, ready to walk away.

“But Swaaan, I need you,” he whimpered.

Before Emma got to her feet she felt his arm come around her middle and halfheartedly try to pull her in. “It’s too late, pirate, don’t try to make nice now.”

“Please, love.”

Knowing she could never resist him, she rolled her eyes… at herself, before turning toward him. Scooting closer into his grip she layed down next to him, prepared to let him atone. Instead of kissing her, undressing her, dirty or sweet talking her, he was burrowing into her bosom.

“Cover me, I’m so cold,” Killian lamented.

When Emma finally took a moment to assess the situation she realized he was shaking all over, and there was a fine sheen of sweat over his forehead. Oh shit, she thought, he’s fucking sick.

She pressed her lips to his forehead, and sure enough he was burning up. She pushed his matted hair away from his forehead, and let him snuggle into her. He was like a space heater, and before she knew it she was drifting back to sleep, holding her feverish pirate.

She was woken a short time later to a raucous cough that shook his body, and reverberated through hers.

“Bloody H-” Killian started, but couldn’t finish as his hand flew to his throat grasping it in pain. Looking at Emma, he whispered, “I feel as though I’ve been swallowing swords.”

“Mmhmm, I know the feeling-”

“No, love,” he continued in a raspy whisper, “I am in severe pain, I need syrup of snail and willow bark.”

Emma’s eyes widened as she looked at him in disbelief, was he really going to say she didn’t know how he felt? “Umm, I was sick until yesterday, Jones, and what the hell is syrup of snail?”

“It is what one takes,” and here he was shook by another fit of coughing, “pleeease, Emma. I need it.”

“Have you ever taken it before?” she asked, thoroughly grossed out that her husband was going to possibly use snail slime as some sort of cure.

“Yes, it is for sore throats.”

“Wait, you had an issue with Adder’s fork… snake’s tongue, but you’ve ingested snail slime before? And you kiss me with that mouth? No, absolutely not, I will get you some Chloraseptic, or Robitussin, no snail slime.”

It is syrup of snail, not snail slime!”

“Whatever it’s called, I’m not getting it.”

“Swaaan, in sickness and in health, love.”

“Sorry, that doesn’t cover snail slime.”

She smiled at the whiny pirate. “I’m going to get ready then head to the store to get what you’ll need.” Ten minutes later she stopped at his side of the bed, placed a kiss on his cheek, and whispered a goodbye, as he’d fallen asleep again.

Once at the pharmacy she picked up cough syrup, she hoped the word syrup would appease him, because whether they carried snail slime or not, he was not having any.  She also grabbed, Dayquil and Nyquil, before checking out. Next, she stopped at the market to pick up some foods that wouldn’t hurt his throat, including his favorite, Jell-o.

~K♥E~

Back at home Emma made the Jell-o. When she put it in the fridge to set she noticed the Granny’s to go bag and pulled it out. Inside the bag she found what was probably supposed to be last night’s dinner, of course he’d gotten her favorite. Then there was a tall cup of something red, opening the container she smelled that it was tomato soup. She poured it into a bowl and heated it. Placing the soup, a glass of orange juice, water, and his medicine on a tray, she headed upstairs.

The sight that greeted her was pretty pathetic. Killian was lying propped up on all of their pillows, fully dressed now. He was wearing a white t-shirt, gray flannel pajama pants, a pair of her fuzzy socks, and his pirate duster. She bellowed at the sight, “What in the world?”

“It’s the warmest thing I own, Swan,” he grumbled.  “I wanted a hot bath, but was worried I might fall asleep in the water, and since there was no one here to see that I didn’t drown, I had to make due.”

She tried, unsuccessfully, to curb her laughter, but he was just too precious all cranky and salty.  “Oh, I’m sorry, babe, but I’m here to take care of you now,” she teased, a hint of patronization in her tone. “No baths though, and you shouldn’t be bundled up either.”

“Why in the blazes not?” he snapped, causing him to cough painfully. He held out his hand and beckoned her, “snail syrup.”

Emma placed the tray on his nightstand, sat down next to him and lowered his extended hand. She palmed his cheeks in her hands, smoothing her thumbs under his tired eyes. She placed a chaste kiss on his lips then told him, “You shouldn’t be bundled, or exposing yourself to any form of heat because a fever already raises your body temperature. To add more heat could be dangerous.”

“I daresay you’re making no sense, I am colder than Arendelle in the winter. Snail syrup… please, my throat is on fire.”

She handed him the medicine cup with the cherry red cough syrup, and waited for his dispute. She was going to hold her tongue about his crankiness, she was positive she hadn’t been a ray of sunshine while she was sick.

He lifted the small cup to his nose sniffing, “I can’t smell a damn thing, but I know that snail syrup is not colored Swan, what is this?”

“It’s cough syrup, Killian, you drink it.”

“Fine,” he pouted, scrunching up his nose as he downed it, “were you able to procure the willow bark?”

Shit! She hadn’t even looked for it. “I forgot,” she admitted, a slightly sheepish look on her face. “What is it for?”

Killian closed his eyes in defeat, “If this ailment doesn’t kill me, you just may.”

She slapped his arm, and stood up from the bed, “What the hell did you do when you were on the Jolly in the middle of the ocean all those years? Did Smee wipe your nose, and hold you tight?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Swan, I managed. Plus, we had willow bark, snail syrup, meadowsweet and a host of other remedies for any ailment. It will not be my fault if you have to bleed me!”

“Bleed you?”

“Bloodletting darling, one of the tried and true treatments for a great many illnesses.” Killian rubbed his hand over his throat again, one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, I’ll go get the damn willow bark. Anything else, your highness?”

Killian had the good sense to look ashamed. “I’m sorry, Emma, please forgive me. I feel like shite and I’m taking it out on you.” He reached his arms out to her and gave her his best apologetic pirate look. “My throat does miraculously feel better, a little numb.”

“Fine, I accept your apology. I am just trying to help. And it’s not a miracle, it’s medicine. Will you tell me what willow bark was used for?”

“Willow Bark was used for fevers, muscle pain, and headaches, which I feel as though I am freezing to death, my whole body aches, and my head may burst.”

“Well, while we don’t use the same cures you once did, the orange pills that I took yesterday are what I got for you. They help with fevers, cough, body aches, headaches, and a runny or stuffy nose. I think you’re probably a little stuffed up given how whiny you sound,” she giggled at his appalled expression.

“I do not whine, my dear.”

“I beg to differ, buddy. Swaaaan I neeed it,” she mimicked his earlier whining. She laughed when he rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest like a petulant child. “Just let the cough syrup work for a bit, then I will give you the Dayquil. If you’re hungry I brought up the tomato soup you got yesterday.

An hour later he’d eaten, taken a dose of the ‘magic orange pills’, and fallen asleep again. Emma wished she’d been able to sleep while she was sick. She’d gotten up to go to work everyday!  She quietly worked in the kitchen making a few more things Killian would be able to eat. Looking at the clock she saw it was already after three. The day had flown by, as it always tended to do when she slept half of it away. Making herself a cup of cocoa she sat down to watch her beloved I.D. channel for a bit before checking in on her patient.

~K♥E~

“Emmaaaaa!”

She heard the sick baby tone to his voice again and just rolled her eyes before heading up the stairs. Crossing the room she sat down next to him like earlier. “Yes, Captain Hook?”

“I fear I’m worse off, love.”

“What makes you say that, Oh, Scourge of the Seven Seas?”

Killian narrowed his eyes at her, “I know what you are doing. I am not acting like a baby. I’m dying, I am sure of it.” He wrapped his arms around her middle, and nuzzled his head in her lap.

“Killian, you’ve died how many times?” She asked while running a hand through his hair.

“Enough to know what it feels like,” he muttered.

“Fair enough, but you’ve always come back to me, and now you’re telling me that you are going to succumb to a case of the Man Flu?”

“The what flu?” he asked, sitting up abruptly.

“The Man Flu,” she smiled widely at him.

“I’ve never heard of this man flu, what is the mortality rate? Bring me raw yeast and tell Archie to bring Pongo.”

“Ok, you’re delirious,” she spoke soothingly while coaxing him to lie back down. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“It may be too late, but I’d rather know my fate, and only Pongo will be able to help. Your medicines are nothing against this malady, alas they have not worked their magic.” His tone took on a deep sadness as he continued to ramble.

“They worked good enough for you to sleep comfortably.”

“Aye, but now I am worse than ever.”

“That’s because you’ve been asleep for hours, it’s time for another dose, you overly dramatic but cutest pirate ever. If Blackbeard ever sees you like this he is going to revoke your Pirate Card.”

“I am not cute, I am devilishly handsome. And there is no card darling, I am a pirate through and through.”

“Okay, here take this you swashbuckling dread pirate,” she placated him while slipping two Nyquil pills into his palm and grabbing his water.

“These one are not the magical orange ones, what are you giving me, Swan? Are these to numb my pain as I slip into oblivion?”

“Oh my god, I love you like this. These are the nighttime version of the orange pills,” she explained, while massaging the base of his neck.

“Oh,” was his only response before he quickly took the pills.

“What happened to, ‘I haven’t lived over three centuries without learning how to keep myself healthy,’ and, ‘I can handle the flu’?” Emma teased him. “It’s official, men from every realm are big babies when they get the Man Flu.”

“What is this Man Flu you keep mentioning?” he asked as he snuggled into her again.

“It’s an illness that affects men,” she stated the obvious, knowing that her curious pirate was going to make this so easy to needle his pride.

“What are the symptoms?”

“Well for starters whining, crankiness, and the general need to act like a wuss,” Emma began in a matter-of-fact tone. She was trying her damndest to keep a straight face, but he was making it hard as his face morphed from one emotion to the next; inquisitive, to confusion, to evil eye, to eye roll. “It also makes men helpless and sicker than any female in the house that may be ill, and sometimes their balls are rendered useless.”

By this point he had crossed his arms over his chest and rolled to face away from her. His huff of irritation had her slapping a hand over her mouth to keep in the giggles. “The good news is,” she continued, rolling toward him and leaning over his side as he pouted, “it is totally curable. It usually only takes one dose of ‘man the fuck up’.”

Outraged or not, Killian couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. It was pretty funny, and she was adorable when she cracked herself up.  Turning to face her again he wrapped his arms around her. “I am glad you are having such fun at my expense, love,” he whispered before making himself comfortable in her embrace again.

“You sure are snuggly when you’re sick,” she said, running her hand through his hair.

“I am always snuggly, Swan. You’ve only forgotten since you were so prickly while you were ill,” he told her, as he ran his fingers up and down her left arm.

“I was not,” she argued.

“Of course not darling, you were an absolute delight.” His voice dripped with sarcasm as he gave her arm a playful squeeze.

“Shut up, pirate, or I won’t nurse you back to health.”

“I suppose I am being slightly melodramatic. I guess I’ve become spoiled and overly comfortable in your world. There is an easy fix for everything here,” he admitted.

“Slightly? You had your hand cut off, and I’m positive you were tougher through that, than today.”

“Aye, it wouldn’t have earned me any favor to be a sniveling sissy before my crew. I think I just like having you take care of me, love. I don’t have to be Captain Hook every moment of every day.” He confirmed his statement by sighing contentedly when her arms pulled him in tighter against her body.

Emma thought about his words, and felt slightly chagrined. She also realized just how much she adored comforting him. “Leave it to you to make a lesson out of the man flu,” she deadpanned.

“And what lesson is that?”

“That it’s ok to be vulnerable sometimes. And if I’m honest, I love getting to take care of you like this.”

“Maybe next time I can reciprocate?” he asked looking up into her eyes. “I do want to take care of you to, you know?”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat, she was still amazed each time he unknowingly showed her just how much he treasured her. She leaned down to place a kiss on his lips. “Killian, I’m sorry I didn’t let you take care of me when I was sick,” she murmured. Emma took a deep breath before she continued, steeling her nerves to share a piece of herself with him. “You do take care of me, more than you know. You are the only person who’s held my heart and kept it safe, the only person to love me, for me, and unconditionally. But with the way I grew up, it wasn’t okay to show vulnerability or weakness. Whether I was sick, sad, hungry, or hurt, I only had myself to depend on.”

Killian listened to her, and although he already knew what she was telling him, it warmed him to have her willingly share it with him.  “I understand, darling,” he started, then her finger was on his lips, quieting him.

“Let me finish. I don’t always have the words, but right now I really want you to understand how I feel.” He kissed her finger, but didn’t say a word. It was positively unnerving the way he saw into her, always knowing what she needed from him, whether it was encouragement or silent acquiescence. “I had to show everyone I was strong, that I could take care of myself. Each time I forgot that, the world was sure to find a way to remind me. I’ve worn my armor for so long, sometimes I forget I don’t need it with you.”

A beatific smile lit up his face. He had always taken pride in helping her to remove some of that armor, tear down those walls. To hear her say it though was another feeling altogether. One he couldn’t put a name to, but melted his heart. “Emma,” he whispered reverently, as if her name held all the answers and emotions he felt.

Her smile matched his as she scooted down so she was eye level with him, “I love you, Killian.” Combing her fingers through his hair, she kissed him chastely. “Why don’t you get some rest, it’s late. Unless you’re hungry? I made some Jell-o.”

“You spoil me, I am actually feeling quite good. The magical pills have worked. I am not really hungry, but I am enjoying laying here with you,darling. It only took an illness to afford us a quiet day together.”

Emma blushed a little, that something as simple as just lying with her made him happy. Although she didn’t know why it should surprise her, she too loved the way they were just holding each other, face to face, open and honest, calm and content, as lovers do.

“I love that color on you,” he teased, cupping her cheek.

Wanting to switch the subject from herself, Emma remembered something that had been puzzling her since earlier in the day. “Why did you need yeast and a dog?”

It was Killian’s turn to blush, “I’m afraid that was another theatrical overreaction.”

“Oh, do tell Captain!”

Rolling his eyes he explained to Emma how a dog could detect one’s mortality expectation. “Many years ago, an ailing person would powder their hand in yeast, you see, and if the dog licked the yeast from their hand, they were expected to live, if however, the dog did not lick the hand, then they needed to get their affairs in order.”

“Oh, Killian,” Emma laughed. “Your flair for the dramatic is one of the things I loved about you from the beginning.”

“Is that so?” he questioned, running his tongue along his lower lip, “tell me more.” He slid his hand from her cheek down the length of her body before snaking it down to her ass and giving it a healthy squeeze.

Emma could literally feel how much better he was feeling as his length pressed against her. “Mmmm, someone is better. I was afraid there was going to be another, what did you call it? Oh yeah, another drought.”

“Even the man flu cannot keep me from making love to my beautiful wife,” he proclaimed.

“It did this morning,” she mumbled.

“Are you issuing a challenge, lover?”

“Oh, just shut up and show me, pirate,” she growled. Killian had a knack for getting her riled up at warp speed.

“That’s what I thought,” he said smugly, leaning in to kiss her fully. He puller her astride his hips and bucked into her, “But perhaps you should be on top, I am ailing after all,” he exaggerated, giving her a devilish grin.

“As you wish,” she whispered, before properly ravishing him.

~K♥E~

Emma couldn’t help but feel a little bitter about his speedy recovery when he woke up feeling like a brand new man the very next day. Perhaps being a 300 year old pirate had afforded him an affinity to recoup quicker than most.

Sensing her inner turmoil, Killian was sure to let her know the only reason he had recovered quicker than her was because she had so thoroughly fucked away his illness during the night. He couldn’t help but add that had she let him do the same before her third day of being sick, she might have only had the flu for a day as well.

Emma and Killian decided they better make extra sure that the illness had passed, and wouldn’t come back. They were only an hour late for work.

[scrapyardley-blog]

"Should I have come to the hospital?"

He said. "... No..." I replied, although I meant yes. I was there all day bored and alone. If he'd have been in hospital I would be there in an instant, no matter how unwell I was feeling. He'd said in the morning he felt 70% better... that to me is well enough to come and comfort your bleeding girlfriend in accident and emergency. When I had been patched up for the hundredth time at about 8:30pm, the hand consultant went to go and get my relative from the waiting room. He was absolutely astonished to discover I was there alone. He asked how I was getting home. I said I was getting the bus to my boyfriend's house. He was strongly against that idea after my day of trauma, blood loss, risk to myself etc. He said, "can't your bf pick you up?" I said he can't drive. He told me to phone my parents to come and pick me up. ... I didn't, I walked, and got the bus, in the dark. Got to his house at about 10:30pm. He briefly asked how I was at the door with a shocked look at the size of the dressing and blood stain on my jeans, and then he started feeling sorry for himself in a winy, pathetic way. I did split on him again. I didn't wanna be in the room with him. I wished I had phoned mom or dad to come and get me from the hospital. The reason he's not feeling 100% is because he is still not eating, so he is weak. I think he is starving himself on purpose because it makes me crazy concerned and he likes the attention. In my family if we get sick we battle through, carry on with life. Not crawl up in a little ball on the sofa and expect to be passed things that are just out of reach. For fuck sake! When I had to have my appendix out it wasn't just appendicitis, the bloody thing had gone gangrene and ruptured inside me before it hurt enough to seek medical attention. Even then I took a taxi to the emergency room. Not an ambulance. We are hard as fucking nails. My Nan was hard, my Mom is hard, I am hard. I can't stand the wimping around. I am really turned off. Sometimes I think he's hamming it up, because all of a sudden he'll forget to use his 'sick voice', or remember to cough. I'm telling my parents about my self harm tomorrow. I'm going to have to lie to them and tell them he was there with me at the hospital. They would be furious and upset to think I was there all by myself. I'm going home at lunchtime tomorrow. I won't see him until next week. Mom will come with me for my operation on Saturday. She loves me. I feel a bit sad. I want to cry, but it's not happening. I'm living off four hours sleep from last night. It's 3:00am now. I am so tired but I can't sleep. Today was an overload. I am overwhelmed. I caught myself in the bathroom mirror. I look skinny and pale and I have dark circles around my eyes. My hair is all sticking up. I'm blogging from my phone. My bf is asleep next to me. He said feebly when we got into bed "sorry I can't hug you"... I really need a hug. Why can't he? I'm lonely. This week our relationship has been ugly.

[mandindjarin]

just found the time to add some comments to this. this fic is so creative, natural, and wonderful!! i look so forward to reading each chapter.

Gray shirt, form fitting black cargo pants, and sturdy brown boots...

(Your half-serious inquiry about skinny jeans and ballet flats had earned you a long, strange look.)

see also: my entire wardrobe… skinny jean queens

An exasperated sigh reaches your ears from the opposite end of the shop. Mando has spent the last forty-five minutes lurking in corners…

me, picturing din in a macy’s, ducking behind racks of clothing and fondling the shoe displays: seems about right

Goddamn it, you had forgotten deodorant.

ah yes, my most consistent & prevalent fear

“You don’t need to pay me back.”

shut up.

“Short debts make long friends,” you stubbornly insist.

HEY THATS THE TITLE. I DONT LIKE THAT

Another sigh. 

He seems to do that a lot around you.

definitely feeling like reader is written after op watched my friends & i interact

You’re not beyond making him pinky swear.

reader would introduce pinky swears to star wars. i am reader

This is all starting to feel so cliché you might as well kick back now and wait for the sex.

i am, with popcorn & everything. (this humor reader has is so effortless and natural i LOVE)

“Can I name it DSM-5?”

i laughed so loud at this that i woke my dogs up

“Besides, it already likes your wife.”

“No, it fucking adores his wife,” you declare.

Mando’s vocoder emits a strangled sound; you’ve either broken his brain or he’s choking on his own saliva, but if this is all a hallucination, then you want to invest your time goggling an Artoo unit, not upgrading your wardrobe.

(me, debating between a keysmash and attempting to be articulate):!!!!!!!!!

A long arm slides around your waist from behind and starts hauling you up.

who’s drool is that? who is drooling rn?

“You done?” he dryly inquires.

no.

You are yanked out of harm’s way, so hard that your shoulder nearly separates from its socket, but Mando steps into your fall before you stumble and seizes you with both arms. He pulls you in, swiftly wrapping his left hand and forearm around your head before pressing your cheek against his chest to shield your face.

You stand numbly in place, dazed.

“Give it a minute for the air to clear.”

i am again dumbfounded and lost for words. this lil snippet is SO much better in context. !!!!!!!! the note about the cloak too? ughhhh.

You’re safe.

*teary eyes, smiling*

But there, in that moment, sheltered in beskar and muscle and a warrior’s instinct honed over decades…

sometimes i forget the sheer amount of training & experience that din has

Shaking, you dig your fingers into the fabric on either side of Mando’s waist and don’t let go. The gloved hand clasping the back of your head starts to lift as your cheek finds the gap between his pauldron and cuirass; misery cuts through your chest at the loss of contact, but his palm resettles against your hair, and you gratefully press your face into his shoulder. You are no longer letting him hold you, you’re letting him hide you, consequences bedamned. You’ll be brave later.

this paragraph right here, doctor. this is why i admitted myself.

You hear the distinct click of a safety being switched off…

every time i read this action, regardless of what fic or how many times i’ve read the line, i am without fail reminded that i am mentally unwell.

“Turn your head,” he instructs, drawing his blaster.

Your face is still buried in his shoulder. Realizing what he wants you to do, you quickly press your cheek against his chest again as he claps his palm over your ear – and fires.

oh. my.

“You okay?”

nopenopenopenopenopeiamnotbadbutiamnotokay

Not thinking, you reach up to brush off the grit from his visor.

“Don’t,” he barks, jerking his head back.

oh shit oh fuck

Except it’s not, but you leave it be.

mood

“No.”

His voice disrupts your despondent train of thought, and you glance over at him, confused.

“No, I wasn’t telling you nutrition is an actual flavor.”

din djarin. master of small talk.

“You’ve got about thirty minutes left to take me somewhere I can fall apart.”

as u should!! breakdown queen!!!

Short Debts Make Long Friends - Chapter 5 - with a cameo appearance!

Arguing gradually starts to reach your ears beyond the confines of his cloak. Driver and passenger, presumably, hollering at Mando for being too slow in pulling you out of the line of fire. Mando is employing his usual approach to dealing with idiots and says nothing, but one of the voices is familiar, an angry timbre halfway between a snarl and sneeze.

“...He doesn’t like you!"

Is that...?

“I don't like you, either! You just watch yourself!”

It is!

You're too exhausted to take a peek, but you can easily picture a one-armed alien with furry muttonchops, standing beside his disfigured, porcine-nosed partner-in-crime. Both had clearly forgotten the lesson Ben Kenobi imparted upon them five years ago. 

“We’re wanted men! I have the death sentence on twelve systems!”

Mando calmly moves his arm from around your shoulders to rest his free hand on his blaster.

“I can take care of that problem.”

Short Debts Make Long Friends, Chapter 5: Droids Make Friends Forever, Right?

Fic summary: Stories of Mando and Reader. Or, an overeducated, underpaid millennial finally gets to go on her first adventure.

@nildespirandum @thesmartbiscuit @essence-stealer @mareebird @caffiend-queen @iwasbusybeingdead @zuruik @reileth @teehee-47 @eylime @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @tortor-mcgee

[crystalline-lifestream]

Awakening

This is just a rough snippet of a complex crossover I came up with the other day, born of too little sleep and too much chocolate. I’m certain I’m not the only one who’s noticed how well VII and XV work together, from referring to their planet by the same name (albeit differently translated) to the existence of a meteor.

Anyway, the gods only know if I’ll ever actually continue this; I only have a bare-bones idea. But for now, here’s that idea in prose, posted here because I don’t know whether this will actually be the first installment.

Even if it had never happened before, Aerith supposed she really shouldn’t be all that surprised to find a couple vagrants asleep in her flowerbed. Rather, she should be more surprised that it had taken this long for anyone to move into the abandoned church.

Insomnia was good at advertising itself to be some sort of utopia compared to country life, but living on the outskirts and walking through the slums, Aerith had seen plenty that didn’t line up with the civilized image of the Crown City. Thanks to her, so had the prince, but Noct had only just turned twenty. It wasn’t as though he could do anything about the corruption except keep it in mind for whenever he was king, and that wasn’t something he liked to think about.

Of course, less heavily enforced regulations did have their advantages, so it wasn’t all bad. The government hadn’t bothered either fixing this place up or tearing it down, for instance. But the downsides could be deadly. The officials out here tended to accept bribes, and they didn’t care too much if you went missing. Especially if you were an immigrant and/or homeless, like these two.

But as Aerith paced forward cautiously, studying their appearances, she found that on closer examination—if only by a few yards—they didn’t really look like any street people she’d seen. They seemed about as unfortunate, and they (or at least their clothes) could definitely do with a bath, but something about them felt… different, even at this distance. Maybe it was because they hadn’t set up camp; they had only one large pack between them, and it lay some distance away, untouched.

Daring to approach further, Aerith skirted around the edge of the flowerbed, scrutinizing the strangers carefully. Both of them appeared to be around her age, give or take a couple years. Still thinking of herself as a girl, it seemed a little wrong to call them men, and there was something boyish about both their faces. Maybe it was the fact that both of them were clean-shaven, which meant they’d had access to shaving equipment recently.

One of them had longish black hair, and was sprawled among the flowers in such a way that he seemed to take up much more space than he actually did. Which was saying something, since he was so tall and well-muscled. He was dressed in a tank top, durable trousers, and well-worn combat boots. His outfit was dusty, but oddly new—far from threadbare, and without too many rips.

The other boy was blond, in a plain formerly-white t-shirt and jeans, as well as the same make of combat boots. Though his clothes were in much the same condition as the other boy’s, his body looked a little bit weaker. Well… maybe a lot weaker. In fact, he looked distinctly unwell, pale and skinny and lying limp as a corpse. He was still clearly alive, judging by the deep rise and fall of his chest, but Aerith had her doubts as to whether he would ever wake up.

There was nothing else to be done but try.

Aerith cleared her throat uncertainly. Mom had always advised her not to talk to strangers, and this pair was nothing if not strange, but her intuition had always been uncanny—to the point that even Ignis had praised it. Besides, they didn’t appear to have any weapons handy, nor did they look too malicious in sleep.

“Hello…?”

The black-haired boy gave a faint groan, turning over and curling up almost defensively. “Five more minutes, Cindy,” he yawned, lapsing into unintelligible mumbling… but then frowned, perhaps recognizing that Aerith’s voice was different than the one he had imagined, and opened one eye.

Instantly, they both flew wide—a vivid shade of blue, somewhere between Noct’s and Prompto’s—and he sat up. “O-oh, sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his head, and suppressed another yawn. “Must’ve been dreaming. We’ll get out of your hair.”

Aerith shook her head. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “You’re not really in the way. I just… wanted to make sure you two were okay.” She nodded toward the boy’s blond companion. “He doesn’t look so good.”

“Yeah, uh,” said the black-haired one, getting to his feet, with an expression somewhere between sad and uncomfortable. “He’s been kinda… out of commission, lately. Long story.”

“Is that why you’re in the Crown City?” asked Aerith, tilting her head, and the boy nodded. “You’re in the wrong part of town for medical attention. Only a couple clinics around here, and they’re not really the best-equipped. But,” she added, “on the plus side, they might treat him even if you two don’t have identification. And they might accept late payment, or other kinds of trades.”

“Might?”

Aerith nodded. “Depends on who you see, and how generous they’re feeling.”

The boy scuffed a foot thoughtfully against a splintering floorboard. “That so,” he said. “I thought Insomnia was supposed to be, like…”

“Organized?” asked Aerith. “Yeah, they like advertising the middle- and upper-class parts, which are nice if you can afford them. But lower-class is lower-class no matter where you are, and Insomnia’s no exception.”

Nodding, the boy cast his gaze around as if in search of a change in subject. “Nice place you got here, though.”

Aerith laughed. “Oh, it’s not mine,” she said, placing her hands behind her back. “Just a church on the outskirts. But I did plant the flowers you decided to sleep in,” she added, eyeing her partially ruined flowerbed. It’d take awhile for them to recover from being crushed like that.

The boy’s eyes widened as he followed her gaze, and he grimaced apologetically. “Sorry about that,” he said. “I just figured they might help with the smell. I’m Zack, by the way,” he added, extending his hand, and Aerith reached out and shook it. If his physique hadn’t already convinced her he was used to hard labor, his calluses definitely did. “And… that’s Cloud.”

“Cloud?” echoed Aerith, frowning. “Like…”

“Puffs in the sky, yeah,” finished Zack, a bite of impatience in his voice, as though he’d had this conversation many times. “C’mon, half the names in Lucis are just as weird if you un-translate ’em from the ancient language. Like, for example—what’s yours?”

Aerith suppressed a laugh with difficulty. “Aerith.”

“Oh,” said Zack, brought up short as she shattered his assumption. “Okay, fine. Never mind. But King Regis!” he continued, determined to prove his point. “His name is literally ‘King King’! How is that any better than ‘Cloud’?”

The way Zack said ‘half the names in Lucis’ made Aerith think he wasn’t from inside the kingdom, but she chose not to mention it. He didn’t really fit her image of a spy, after all, and it seemed too early in their acquaintance to ask abrasive and invasive questions like that. “Never said it was,” she said, mustering a small smile. “Now, come on. I’ll take you two to the nearest clinic.”

Zack hesitated for a split second as though meaning to say something, but then nodded. “Thanks, Aerith,” he said, bending to sling one of Cloud’s arms around his neck, and hauled him to his feet.

Effortless as he made it seem (though his cargo was admittedly lighter than it should have been), Aerith could not stand idly by, and rushed forward to help support Cloud’s other side. But as soon as she grasped his arm to steady him, light sparked to life at her fingertips.

Gasping, she snatched back her hand as though she had been burned, though the only sensation she felt was a ticklish tingling. What was that? “Whoa!” exclaimed Zack, almost dropping Cloud, but caught him again the second he started slipping from his grasp. “You didn’t tell me you were the Oracle!”

“I—I’m not!” insisted Aerith, staring at her shaking hands, but Zack was busy staring at Cloud out the corner of his eye. At first, Aerith didn’t understand why, but then she heard a faint moan, and saw him stir faintly.

Zack turned to face Aerith, bright eyes sharpening. “Do it again,” he ordered, his demeanor taking such an abrupt turn for the authoritative that Aerith could only blink at him. He seemed to realize how sudden his transition was, however, because his expression immediately softened again as he added, “Please.”

But Aerith couldn’t move. “Does he have… the plague?” she asked, eyeing them both anxiously. As a relatively enclosed space, the capital was off-limits to everyone with plague symptoms, to prevent it from spreading through the entire city. And as much as Aerith hated the immigration policies, she had to admit they were effective. To her knowledge, there had never been a single case of plague in Insomnia.

Except for Cloud, now.

“I don’t know,” said Zack. “But if he does…” He trailed off, biting his lip as he glanced aside, then looked back into Aerith’s eyes earnestly. “Please, Aerith. I’ll do anything. He hasn’t surfaced in years.”

Years? Aerith looked at Cloud with new eyes; no one deserved to spend so much of their life unconscious. Her sympathetic feet moved before she gave the order, and she approached tentatively, reaching toward him once more. If her powers really were like the Oracle’s, maybe she could help him after all.

She flinched as the light glowed softly back into existence with their proximity, but persisted this time, and Cloud stirred more decisively. And then, quite suddenly, the light vanished, and his eyes flew open.

“Sephiroth!” he gasped, twitching, and clutched desperately at his chest. “Zack, I—I’m so sorry! I couldn’t sav—” A coughing fit cut him off, and he retched, but nothing came of it.

Zack, heedless of his friend’s disorientation, pulled Cloud into a tight hug, but Aerith frowned in confusion—grateful, despite herself, to have been given something to think about that didn’t involve her heretofore unseen magical abilities. Sephiroth? As in, the infamous imperial soldier, possessed of inhuman strength? Curiouser and curiouser.

If not for Aerith’s feeling that Zack and Cloud weren’t from Lucis, she’d guess them to be refugees from one of the several villages he had helped lay to waste. Except that Sephiroth had met his end almost three years ago, if the reports were to be believed. Though, these two certainly did seem traumatized enough…

There was no trace of Zack’s sudden turn for the commanding amid his happy tears. It had probably been out of worry, the way Gladio sometimes got around Noct, but… it had felt almost like he was used to giving those kinds of orders. “It’s okay,” whispered Zack, hugging Cloud more tightly still, and Cloud rested a feeble hand on his upper arm by way of reciprocation. “We’re safe now, in the Crown City. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

It occurred to Aerith that she was witnessing what must be an incredibly touching moment, but lacked any of the context required to make it meaningful. Still, she supposed she was glad to have helped reunite a pair of friends. Or more than that, she thought, observing the tear or two streaking down Zack’s face, trailing into the corners of his smile. She wasn’t one to judge.

When their embrace showed no sign of letting up, Aerith cleared her throat pointedly. Far be it from her to interrupt, especially since it kept them from reminding her that she was apparently magical, but her increasing number of questions demanded answers. “So,” she began, as Zack finally let Cloud go. “Are you two refugees, or something?”

“Y-yeah,” said Zack, visibly uncomfortable, and ran a hand through his hair. “You could say that.”

“I could also say that you said you’d do anything if I helped wake up your boyfriend,” said Aerith, putting her hands on her hips. (Cloud looked irked at first, but then he looked sick, and said nothing.) “Come on, I want to know your story. I’ll even throw some food and rest into the bargain, if you come home with me.”

Aerith didn’t make a habit of inviting strangers into her private abode, but she wasn’t sensing any malice from these two. Call it a hunch, but one of them looked like he’d barely be able to walk, and the other of them had gotten childishly indignant over naming conventions. And had immediately offered to get out of her way upon waking up.

Besides, the house was miraculously free. Mom was spending the afternoon downtown, so she’d be out of danger if things went south. Prompto would be coming over for the day as soon as he finished his chores, and he could lend a hand if anyone gave her any trouble. And if things went really wrong, Aerith had friends in high places. (But she preferred not to resort to name-dropping.)

Letting out a long breath, Zack glanced over at Cloud. “What do you think?”

“Up to you.”

Zack heaved an exaggerated sigh, but didn’t seem too surprised. “And here I was, looking forward to having you make some of the decisions again,” he said, shaking his head, and looked back up at Aerith. “All right, it’s a deal. I’m a man of my word. But if you wanna know everything,” he added, eyes sparkling with sudden mischief, “I’m gonna have to ask just one more favor.”

Aerith narrowed her eyes. “What favor?”

Zack grinned, and Cloud managed an eyeroll, and that was when Aerith knew that cultivating their acquaintances would be a terrible—wonderful—mistake. “How about one date?”