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enmy-writes · 4 years ago

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Baby Avenger

Summary: (Y/N) is one of the youngest avenger members and some government officials repeatedly let her know of “her position.” So, she lets them know exactly what her position is.

Word Count: 2100

Fandom: MCU Avengers

Pairing: Avengers x Reader

Genre: Fluff, soft, slight angst and sadness, & family love.

Rated: 18+

Content Warnings: profanity, death, abandonment, bullying, this is my first ever post of any fanfiction ever so it’s probably bad

**** This is my first ever imagine that I have ever finished and published. Please give me feedback and let me know what else I should write! I’m very excited and nervous so please let me know if you enjoyed this :) I’m thinking of making this Y/N character into a little “Baby Avenger” one-shot series, so let me know your thoughts ****

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Baby Avenger.

Baby. Avenger.

In her head, her stomping can be heard throughout the whole Compound and all of its residents and guests can hear her anger. They know she’s going right to the meeting room; not the team meeting room, but the meeting room they use when they have special guests in for a meeting.

The new government officials who are now “in charge” of the Avengers since The Snap Part 2 were in for the day to go over the general plans that the Avengers have been coming up with. They’re nicer than those in charge of the group from the Accords, but in no way were they nice to majority of the group as a whole.

(Y/N) (L/N) happens to be the second to youngest member on the team coming in at an age of 18, second only to her best friend Peter Parker

(Y/N) is an orphan, the typical origin story of any superhero. Her parents spent their last minutes pushing her out of their burning house in rural Pennsylvania. Actually, it was her father who got her out of the flames and by their fishpond 100 meters from the house. Her mother was inside, trapped under a steal beam in the basement.

(Y/N)’s mother was a scientist who worked in secret in a little band of scientists who tried to accomplish their own small victories in testing the alterations and limits of humans. The goal of these scientists is to stay out of sight of the CIA, FBI, S.H.I.E.L.D., and other government agencies. Most of them are left alone and those who get found are either immediately sent to a high security prison or recruited to continue their experiments for a certain country/agency.

(Y/N)’s mother decided to give herself her treatment she was working on instead of potentially kidnapping someone in the everyone-knows-everything kind of town that they had been living in. Her experiment and life studies were all in trying to find a way to unlock the rest of the human brain so that more than that small percentage is being used at a time. It has been hypothesized that humans could do a lot if their brains just used itself more.

The only problem is when she gave the treatment to herself, she was unknowingly pregnant, and the treatment attached onto that small lifeform instead of her own. She created a super baby.

No one knew the exact answer to what is on the other side of that tunnel of science. No one knew what opening the mind could do, there were only theories to support ideas. Plenty of scientific evidence, but it meant nothing with no legit proof.

Well, turns out that those on the team of “you will gain the ability to read minds and shit unlike any human” were the correct guessers.

(Y/N) can read others’ minds, move things with her mind, slow down time in her mind to be able to successfully breakdown a situation and perform the best possible reaction to anything that comes her way. Oh, and the color spectrum is broader for her, allowing her to see a significantly more amount of colors than a normal human (including seeing the aura’s and heat that people give off. Very useful in the few missions she goes on.).

But her parents are dead.

After setting small (Y/N) down, her father ran back in to save the love of his life. Or, well, that’s what the towns’ people say to romanticize the situation. A brave man trying to save his family.

In the end, her father had shaken his head, laughing at the moment like a mad man with tears running down his face. He pulled (Y/N) in for the tightest hug that he had ever given the girl—which is tight considering how close the two really were. They were just like two peas in a pod, the light of each other’s lives, basically soulmates.

But love makes you do crazy things.

“You listen to me, (Y/N).” He gripped her face in a painful grip, cheeks sure to be bruised later. “I will always love you. Don’t doubt that, baby girl, okay? I love you so so so so much” By this time, tears are pouring off his face, the neon flames coming from the house reflecting off his wet face. “Mommy… mommy just needs me now, baby. I need mommy, too. We love you so much.”

It had confused her, his words. Nothing could prepare her to watch her father run back into the house, leaving her by the pond with nothing but a small bag of little family things like pictures, little stupid gifts, and a notebook she had stolen from her mom’s bookshelf one day.

Her mother’s grandfather had been friends with Howard Stark, both science men having been in the same circle of famous inventors since before WWII. While neither her mother nor father personally knew his son, Tony, he was still listed as the godfather to the child. With no close friends allowed in their secret circle, old bonds and pacts that her grandfather had with the older Stark led to a blind trust in the man.

Tony Stark had agreed to be the godfather during a one-week bender in his 30s, and when he was yelled at about it, he chose to just keep it there because “the chances of this happening is very slim.”

But here we are, Baby Avenger.

The officials who are here now actually were the same people that used to do check-ins and such with them pre-Accords, so they knew the team better than any government official save for the rare union that the team members may have with government officials. (Y/N) randomly has one with the Queen of England (she did a favor for Her Majesty once, and now they have tea every third Thursday of every month).

They knew that Tony suffered from panic attacks, and they knew Steve was going through a never ending loop of an existential crisis, and that Bucky will most likely always be having an identity crisis, and that Sam cries to sleep a lot around a certain time of year that renders him almost useless in his sleep deprived state he puts himself into. They know EVERYTHING vulnerable about the team.

So, that means they know how when she first got to the team and to Tony that she wouldn’t speak to anyone unless absolutely necessary. It took her almost a year to be able to speak more than a sentence to every person she was around. No one was too upset, though, Tony was trying to figure out how to save himself and rebrand his whole legacy and the Avengers weren’t really a family family yet like they are now. (Y/N)’s shyness made it much easier on the adults to figure out their stressful situations.

The officials, though, never got why she wouldn’t speak to them. They actually pushed her progress back more and more with taunts and comments such as “Oh, the baby can’t speak?” or a “Get your phone out! She’s about to say her first words!” every time she did go to say something.

Tony soon got fed up with it and filed a lawsuit against them which threatened their agency enough to pull them out and let a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent be a liaison for them. After their presence was rid of, (Y/N) grew exponentially with her new family. She was still home schooled, but now she had Peter Parker as a friend and world geniuses as her teachers. She was an only child, but now she’s a big sister to Morgan and has plenty of people on the team that are dubbed her siblings (since they don’t act their age majority of the time to be considered aunts and uncles).

While she’s trained to fight, (Y/N) doesn’t go out on the field much unless they need her brain or her extended vision. She likes to remain behind the computer screen and help that way. She’s invented a way to make prosthetics like Bucky’s become more available to the general public and has started a school/home that’s three miles from the Compound for orphaned kids, mutants, super kids, and those who aren’t accepted where they come from.

In conclusion, (Y/N) is 18 and not useless in any way, shape, or form.

So why, why, do these absolute short dick idiots decide that they can come into here, her home, and push her around like she hasn’t contributed more to the Earth and society in the short 18 years than their middle-aged asses?

Eyes narrowed and seeing red, she stomps her way down the last hall, shoving herself into the door of the meeting room and throwing it open.

The team stays unfazed, knowing she’d show up pissed at some point. The officials, though, jump in their seat and turn to look at her.

It wasn’t the biggest meeting, the original Avengers plus Bucky, Sam, and Wanda sit around the table. Though, Rocket and Groot are here sitting along the back wall, looking bored as hell. Thor must have drug them along.

Fists clenched, (Y/N) narrows her eyes more. She’s been here since the first attack. Sure, she didn’t fight since she was like, 8 or so, but she was in charge of her man-behind-the-computer work. She’s been a part of the team since the beginning, and these assholes are too big of pricks to acknowledge that.

That’s what’s pissing the girl off. This could have been a meeting for every one of the fighters of the team, which she wouldn’t go to because that’s not her role. This meeting, though, was scheduled as “Originals plus the newly appointed leaders only.” She’s an original.

SHE IS AN ORIGINAL.

SHE. IS. AN. OG.

AND YET, they remained in telling her she wasn’t invited because “The Baby Avenger doesn’t need to join big kid conversation.”

She locked eyes with her adopted father and her best friend, aka Peter Parker, aka the only reason she knew this meeting was still being held.

Poor, lovely Peter. He grew confused when his best friend wasn’t sitting in between Mr. Stark and him for the meeting, especially when the officials referred to the meeting as they did. He was just there to take notes for Mr. Stark, not that the man wouldn’t remember it all. Pepper thought it’d be a good idea if Tony had written evidence to anything said in these meetings so that he wouldn’t be pouring statements out of his ass without proof, and poor, lovely Peter got elected to take such notes.

When he noticed you weren’t there, he had sent you a text asking where you were and that your drink that he brought you was right next to him.

“(Y/N)! It is so great to see you, my wonderful flower.” Thick arms wrapped around her as a golden man squeezed her tight to him. Thor and (Y/N) had a special relationship. They’re always close and do the most innocent of tasks together like flower crowns, step-by-step painting classes, and making those Tik Tok crocheted blankets made with that big yarn. He even had taken her to Asgard (back when it was a planet) for a royal ball where she was the guest of honor. They’re just soft together.

Though, rage blocked that softness that normally occurs between the two. Pushing off of him, she points her finger at the men in the front. The officials look like they’ve seen the devil and all of Hell and (Y/N) can see the fear pouring off of them.

“Let’s get this clear,” she says as she slowly stalks her way up to them. “I am an Avenger. I am an original Avenger. I know about 3,000 ways to kill you in this room at this very moment with anything. I drink tea with the fucking Queen on Thursdays, and I’ve created a better orphanage/school system in 2 years than this country has in the 250 years it’s been around. Don’t you EVER call me a fucking baby again, you fucking hear me?”

By this point, she’s right up in their faces, her glare unwavering and them sweating. The silence in the room was great and seemed to go on forever. The team held their breaths, some trying not to laugh and some scared of backlash that might be trust upon the girl.

With one last eye narrow (you could blindfold her with toothpicks at this point), she whips around and walks back to Thor, placing herself sideways on his lap and relaxing into his hold. Peter passes her (Drink Order) down the table, and (Y/N) takes it.

Clint, Bucky, and Sam try and hide their laughter when the meeting starts again as they look at their long-time teammate cradled and curled up in Thor’s arms, head on his shoulder and under his chin as she sips her drink with an angry look in her eyes and a pout on her face.

All wrapped up like a baby.

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the-littlefangirl · 4 years ago

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TFATWS episode 1 rewatch commentary

The first scene was so beautiful. I loved that we didn't start directly with the fight sequence. It feels way closer to the quiet beginning of CATWS and I love it so much.

The title is also SO NEAT, music's on point too but hey it’s Henry Jackman the one thing I’m sure it’s going to be great overall is the score.

The choreography is AMAZING, really well shot. Sam shielding himself with only one wing was MA-JES-TIC.

“WHAT'S UP” EXACTLY SAM EXACTLY

I did feel so uncomfortable in regards to the military aspect of it. Not that I was expecting anything else, but both here and in Captain Marvel the military we're good guys < 3 propaganda is so blatant and ugh:/ At least there wasn’t a literal recruitment spot like with CM.

The yellow filter in the Tunisia scene BYE please stop with the yellow filters 2k21

"I've been working with the Air Force for six months now" So, did Sam even catch a break at all after Endgame? Or did he just throw himself to work like SOMEONE did after being iced for 70 years. Hmmm? Sam????

"Essentially, these people, they want a world that's unified without borders" OH NO! HOW AWFUL, how evil of these bad guys smh

Joaquin: SO about Steve

Sam: :)))))) nope

"Moon stuff" SAAAM

#1 cry with Sam's speech, full on chills.. Fuck. Me. His voice about to break before saying thank you bYE.

Shady politician: "It was the right decision" (FUCKKKKK YOUUU)

Rhodey: *press any key to doubt *

I need someone to analyze the different curation of the two exhibits pretty please

NOT THE PHOTO POST-AZZANO JFC. That photo is my weakness, Bucky sweetie (also I find hilarious that usually when there are articles about Stucky and/or #givecaptainamericaaboyfriend they aaaalways use that photo LMAO)

In case someone wants to read the transcription of the texts about Bucky: "In 1944, while on a mission to thwart a Hydra weapon transport in the Alps, Barnes was thrown from a train and believed to have been killed in action. It wasn't until 2014, over seventy years later, that it was revealed that Barnes was alive, having been found by Hydra operatives. Captain America himself (i can't read) the effort to bring Barnes in only to later aid in a escape from custody having been convinced of his innocence. Steve's loyalty to his old friend, coupled with his refusal to sign the Sokovia Accords, led to the dissolution of the Avengers and drove the Captain into hiding with other like-minded Avengers including Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff, and Sam Wilson. The current whereabouts of Barnes remains unknown, habing been labeled a fugitive following his escape from custody."

"current wherabout unknown" but not the government, interesting. Also, pretty good summary of CACW from the public's perspective, although one of the things I always wanted to see explored was the public's reaction of the fallout of them going into hiding after Civil War (which I'm hoping we'll get to see a little bit of in Black Widow).

Interesting point about the 70 years without having Captain America. Clearly the sacrifice play wasn't enough this time to fuel the nationalism so they went with a squeaky clean John Walker instead.

Sam saying the shield belongs to Steve I'm going to cry now excuse me. Sam. Sam sweetie.

The No. 1 Captain America comic in the display ugH fuck yes

See this is how you do a cameo that has actual meaning. Thank god for Malcolm Spellman being a competent writer. That scene was so well written.

HAVE YOU PRAISED ANTHONY MACKIE'S PERFORMANCE TODAY?? Holy shit that last shot fucked me up.

I'm loving the use of the wide shots, especially in the flashback. The camera movements are in synch with The Soldier's state of mind and mission focus, so good.

EVERYONE STAND UP FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM aka The Winter Soldier theme composed by Henry Jackman.

Without a doubt the most brutal TWS fight scene there has been, People involved in Punisher and John Wick are involved in this and it SHOWS.

For the record, still stands that the only time we've seen him chocking someone with his right hand instead of the metal arm remains the Maria Stark assasination. I know it's probably because of blocking and the way the shot was composed but the implications are still bone chilling. God.

Uhhmmmm I'm very ambivalent about the "Hail Hydra". On one hand, it was 100% fanservice and the internet is probably going to go insane over it, and the dead way Sebastian Stan delivered the line. Good shit. Buuut what I love about CATWS is the way Bucky never, ever ever, mouths Hydra rethoric, and even when Pierce tries to gaslight him with it, it's just an empty effort. The Winter Soldier isn't doing anything because of ideological loyalty to Hydra, even if it's product of brainwashing, it's just sheer dehumanization. They don’t need him to say the words because he’s just An Asset. There are people who have put it more eloquently but yeah, I rather go with the fanon interpretation of that aspect.

The music growing louder with the shot of the keys. GOD.

I'm fine this is fine.

#2 cry with the therapy scene of fucking course.

The government monitoring Bucky is noooot going to end well lmao.

"We need to know that you're not gonna * slowmo stabbing motions *

Bucky: * nodding along slowly *

I laughed out loud.

"It's passive agressive" I love him.

The way this scene just sucker punched me in the face, made me weep and then had me cracking up. Amazing.

Therapist: You can't do anything illegal

Bucky: yup yup check checkity check. What IS considered illegal tho?

*aggresive tablet finger pressing *

"Then why isn't it rule number one?" Bucky your Steve is showing.

I love the close up shot. I'll keep saying it. It's so good.

"I'm James Bucky Barnes" yeah you are🥺

That smile is nightmare fuel LMFAO I love it.

Uhm the way I'm kinning Bucky it's not funny anymore damn

That whole “are you lashing out at me” rambling is really reminiscent of the bar scene in CATFA and how he lashed out at Steve after Peggy left. Uhm yeah fuck.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" "Peace"

"That is UTTER BULLSHIT" "You're a terrible shrink"

yeah ugly crying to ugly laughing speedrun for me

"You're free" "To do what?" jesus. That entire scene. #3 and #4 and #5 cries for moi.

Ugh that Brooklyn shot. Someone needs to do a gifset compairing it to the one in CATFA asap.

"It's like Monique but it's got a "U" in there for uniqueness" "That's absurd" LMAO

"You can't keep fighting with your neighbors" uHM * redacted redacted i'm shifting into 1940s mode abort abort *

"Nobody passed 90" "So young. Such a shame" FGADHGA

🥺🥺 yes flex those flirting skills good for you

"It's a dance to this things. You can't… you gotta warm up and I haven't danced since 1943. Feels like." #6 cry I completely broke down into tears with that.

This Yori storyline is going to punch me in the face with a metal fist. Great!

The TWS theme when he looks at Yori fuuuuuck.

GREAT LET'S GO TO LOUISIANA THAT WAS GETTING HEAVY.

Those shots of Sam in the car. Immaculate. Showstoping. Yes.

Marvel, what if instead of promoting the military industrial complex you put a lot of publicity about cars?

"Uncle Sam!" LMAO subtle.

Everyone trying to have the wings lmao same.

I've only had Sarah for a day but etc. Brooklyn 99 meme

Good mirroring about Steve and Sam family's legacy. Good shit. Goooood shit.

Sam is trying so hard ouch my heart. I can't imagine how painful the scene with them reuniting must have been. He 100% still feels a lot of guilt about being gone for those 5 years (and even longer before that).

"Maybe it is time for us to move on" uuuuuuuuuuh

"To the rescue" "Always" 🥺🥺 i love them so much already

That shot outside the restaurant is so beautiful. Can't wait to see the night scenes in Madripoor tbh.

"I tried the whole online dating thing. It's pretty crazy". Uhm well that is something that Bucky Barnes has now said. In canon. Damn.

"It's a lot" "You sound like my dad" LMAO

Every Bucky fanfic trope speedrun with this scene

"Wow you really can drink" OH you have no idea

Just realized we don't even know her name, well.

"You have any siblings?" "I have a sister" THE WAY I SCREECHED. We're definitely getting Becca

Well that escalated quickly. The important thing is to try?

I can't deal with this BUCKY SWEETIE #8 cry right there fuck

The wardrobe department is KILLING IT, there's such a difference between the outfits of the shows vs how ugly and generic it usually is.

"ThEre is NO such thiNg as on time. You're either EARLY or LATE . picK One" lmao the way he delivered that line

At first I thought the flag smashers had thrown two cars out of a window LMAO

"I don't know how jurisdiction works here, but I'mma have to place you under arrest" uhm yikes. The way they changed Joaquín Torres backstory to just random army nice guy #1 is not sitting well with me, what can I say.

Sam's wings motions I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR

Fuuuuck this guy.

"Funny how thing's always thighten around us" "Look, I'm on your side. After all, he's a hero". This script is C R I S P as hell, great fucking job.

"I don't care, I'm not gonna quit" "What are you trying to prove? And who you trying to prove it to" SHIT HSIT SHIT!!! UGH amazing. Look it's not necessary to say the show's questions out loud but how they flow between the conversations is still very satisfactory without feeling in your face about it. Inner conflicts have been set up fucking perfectly everyone * claps *

Ugh here we fucking go. I knew this was how the episode was going to end but my stomach still dropped like a rollercoster. God.

The score is on point. Damn. Damn.

God, Sam.🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The captain america franchise's visuals in the credits are always so amazing.

Also, does anybody know why Mackie isn't first in the billing? Uhm what's that about?

ANYWAY CONCLUSION THAT EPISODE WAS SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE HOLY SHIT. I love them so much. The balance between the personal conflicts and the political aspect (although the military aspect is still very much yikes) was on point and it was overall a joy to watch.

#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #i'm so happy rn #sorry for the ramblings i just wanted to have it all written down #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #tfatws commentary

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doomedandstoned · 3 years ago

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Chatting with Austin’s Shitbag

~Doomed & Stoned Interviews~

By Shawn Gibson

In his never ending quest to find the filthiest bands from around the world, Shawn Gibson brings us face-to-face, virtually speaking, with frontman Keith Young from Austin, Texas trio SHITBAG. The band dishes out a harsh blend of crust, grindcore, hardcore, and sludge, a sound you may already be acquanted with if you've heard their new EP Burden on Transylvanian Recordings. (Editor)

SHITBAG - BURDEN by SHITBAG

So why are you a Shitbag? What's the name all about?

I guess when I came up with the name, the thought was that Shitbag was a person I didn't want to be and I lived in fear of becoming. It's a catchy two syllable band name. (laughs)

Oh very catchy!

Half of it's just taking the piss right?

Oh yeah.

People think it's great or they think it's really fucking stupid.

I love the name Shitbag. It grabs your attention. It is so fitting for your style of music, the sludge-grind duo.

Definitely. The idea was to get a very dirty sound from the start. The name stuck with me. You can tell from some of our earlier releases to hone the sound but you can see that it's falling into place. I think we were zeroing in on the sound on the album we put out last year.

Which was 'Furnace,' right?

Correct.

Your latest release 'Burden' is out now.

Yes, that's now through Transylvanian Records.

Awesome, they are a good label! I have definitely heard of them and have some of their artists' music. So is 'Burden' your third release?

I guess it's our fourth, if you count the first EP. We don't really push that one out anymore.

Furnace by Shitbag

'Furnace' is a really good album! I think I bought all your digital albums on Bandcamp.

Oh, thank you.

I definitely fell in love with the sound! "Emasculator" is a great sludge song from the record Can you tell me a little about that one?

It is about castration. The riff was a fun thing I kind of threw out there. I told Eli our drummer this is in 4/4 and he said" it is absolutely not, I can try to play along to it anyways." As usual, he did. the different pieces kind of fell into place. The bass guitar always stuck out to me on that one. The speed of the song and the mix we got on those recordings allows the bass to shine through I think. Also, I think that might be one of my favorite vocal performances off of Furnace as well.

Who all is in the band and what roles do they have?

So I play guitar and vocals. Eli Deitz plays drums and Eric Prescott plays bass.

I would say 'Burden' sounds heavier than 'Furnace.' Can you tell me about your guitars and the set up you use for writing and recording?

Oh, sure!

What are you using to get that Shitbag sound?

So first off I think it's worth noting that we recorded Burden at a different location and we had more power at our fingertips. The guitars definitely did get beefed up. For the first two releases I had been playing a Randall RH 150 with a Randall 150 amp head. It gets this really nasty distortion right out of the box, you don't need a distortion pedal, which is pretty convenient. It wasn't reliable at high volumes. That was becoming a problem more and more playing alongside Eric, as he was playing an "O-R something" Orange head and also running that through an HM2 and some fuzz stuff in front of it, as well. He gets a very loud, snarling bass tone.

He's covering the low end, but there's an intersection where the guitars and bass compete when we are playing live. So I needed something that I could crank up just to keep up. The Randall wasn't cutting it. May of last year I purchased a Sunn Coliseum 880. That was great but I needed to beef up my cabinet setup. Before I had been playing out of a Laney 4x12 with two different Celestion speakers and an old Marshall 2x15. The Celestion speakers are just not cut out for running something like a Coliseum880. At 4 ohms I think it's already at 230 watts.

Oh, wow!

That is when I moved up to a Worshipper 4x12. It's an Intown establishment, and some good friends of mine run it. They got me a new cabinet in 8 to 12 weeks. Kinda crazy to think about from what I heard from Dillon at Worshipper they had good business during the pandemic.

That is great! I love to hear that everyone's keeping up the practicing at home.

Yeah, It definitely has a silver lining. I got a 4x 12 and I'm trying to remember what speakers are in it. My technical knowledge of that stuff is a little limited, I'll be honest. I went with Dillon's recommendation. I told him what I was using currently, this is what I want out of it. I already have a 2x15 cabinet so I don't need a whole shit ton of low end power coming out of the 4x12. He kind of went with something that had the right profile and could handle 320 watts. After that was the matter of finding a distortion pedal, because Sunn Coliseums don't really have a built in distortion the way a Randall does. For a while I was a really great distortion pedal that does all kinds of great stuff the Earthquaker device's grey channel.

It has six different clipping presets, clipping diodes, and you can do just about everything from straight up gain to kind of a fuzzy effect to full-on Moss clipping diode, which does the whole balls to the wall heavy metal thing. Great diversity on that pedal but it wasn't quite hitting the right spots. I went to a Boss HM2 and was very reluctant to do so because I know everyone does those. I ran that with a Graph equalizer like I would any distortion pedal. I made it not sound like I'm playing in tuned riffs. That's my equipment set up and how it evolved from Furnace to Burden.

Awesome, thank you. Something that attracted me to Shitbag's music is the sludge is the jelly and the grind is the peanut butter that makes this great Shitbag sandwich. There are moments in your music that it is as thick as swamp mud, then the next it's firing out like bullets out of an AR-15!

Hell, yeah!

Cordycep by Shitbag

With that being said you have a song like "New Day" that's grind as fuck, clocking in at a minute long, just blasting through! Then you have songs like "Rogue Furnace" that's right up the sludge/doom alley clocking in at 15-minutes, 20-seconds. Shitbag has a really great balance between different styles in your music.

Well, thank you!

What bands influenced Shitbag's music?

Yeah, so I think the time I was getting into sludge and doom in my college days and I came across Primitive Man.

Oh, yeah!

I grew up listening to death metal and shit like that.

Me too!

The way they threw that together with just oppressive doom sound. It was something I had never heard before. I instantly heard that and said"this is the future." I don't want to shit on anything but Black Sabbath has been around 50 years and that sound has been around 50 years.

Newer and current bands are still using that sound, yeah.

Maybe I shouldn't disparage it, right? Even the stuff I'm drawing influence from is 30 years old now. Maybe I shouldn't say it that way. I think it's a matter of pervasiveness rather than how old something is. There are a lot of bands in the sludge/doom canon that are like, "Black Sabbath, hell yeah!"

You can find lots of music that was coming out of the death and grindcore scene in the '80s, '90s, and 2000s that had very slow, lurching oppressive moods. To me, it's not so much a matter of the notes that are being played or the rhythms, it's the atmosphere. So yes Primitive Man, God Flesh, they are a big one. I'm a big fan of Assuck, Dystopia, and Grief. Then a lot of older death metal shit, too. Napalm Death, Eric and Eli loved Entombed. Full Of Hell is tight as shit, too!

Yes they are! By chance have you heard of Clinging To The Trees Of A Forest Fire?

Oh yeah, yeah.

I thought you might, being they were before Primitive Man. Great shit, as well!

Every band of theirs that the members of Primitive Man have been in that I have checked out, I have been very much into.

Vermin Womb, Many Blessings...

John put out an album with a death metal band called Black Curse last year that I thought was fucking phenominal!

I'll have to check that out! I like just about everything across the board, personally.

You are mentioning that we're striking this blend, we are not even playing the same genre through the whole EP. It's kind of like there's moments where it's one thing then there's moments where it's another. I think the more important thing is that it sounds like a cohesive thing. I hope we manage to do that.

You do! Shitbag has it's own sound that is unique to you guys!

Well, thank you!

I stumbled upon Shitbag's music on Bandcamp on Fathers Day. I saw the song title "Fathers and Sons" off of Burden and thought, "That's no coincidence -- I need to check this band out!" I was wondering if you can tell me a little about that track?

The song is about grappling with father and son relationships that are, I don't want to say estranged but you know trying at times. That was something that was a really big deal for me over the past year and a half, cause my mother passed away at the end of 2019.

I am sorry to hear that!

Thank you. When you have a death in the family like that, there is a lot of time for reflection that comes about. That's where the concept came about. I would not say that it's entirely autobiographical, there is definitely some exaggeration in there. We had the music for the song written and we couldn't figure what to write the lyrics about. I was just spitballing ideas and concepts to Eli. That was the one he said, "Yeah, I'm not really a fan of this draught but this is the concept to go with. Keep going with this."

Historically, I think I have been a weak lyricist. I would not call myself good by any means. We definitely made that part of the writing more collaborative process. Like the music has always been with us. We ironed out the words with each other so it felt a lot better. We came out with something more polished.

I understand completely.

A little graciousness opens yourself up. I think it's true with lyrics, as well. You probably don't have people say that to you very often, I imagine. I think it's especially true with lyrics when you're trying to make something that's personal and vulnerable. Having someone say, "Hey I would word that differently!" YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

Exactly. (laughs)

Take a step back from the initial knee-jerk response and just let it sit. You can really go places with that. I think lyrics are different just because people are not accustomed to making themselves vulnerable in that way.

What bands from Austin and surrounding areas that are heavy and you love to see them play or play with?

Let's see... Zyclops, really fucking great! There's bands like Glassing, Inhalants, Portrayal Of Guilt.

Yep, familiar with them.

There's a band called Godshell, they are new. I saw them play at a house show in North Austin in a living room full of people younger than myself. A crowd that was young enough to make me feel old. They played an outstanding fucking show! Those guys are rad live! There's also Metal Abortion, who is a pretty fun noise core band that Shitbag has played with a couple times. They put on a hell of a show and they have some crazy fucking records, too!

We have had the pleasure of playing many great shows with Desist on account of Shitbag and Desist being the two "Austin sludge" bands. Lucas is an outstanding vocalist and an even better human being. I don't know if Desist has been active through the pandemic but word is they have shit in the works. Another band forming a major constellation in the Austin shit-verse is the crusty blackened thrash outfit Vacha. Every show we've played with them was a fucking barn buner. I have nothing but love for all those dudes! Special shout out to Carlos for his God-like endurance behind the kit.

What makes Shitbag laugh? What's funny to you guys?

Oh, man. Eli and I have decided that a good way to get around when I bring a riff and don't know the time signature, is that we count everything in one. There 's no more time signature.That's a fairly recent joke. There are times at practice instead of playing a Shitbag riff with the distortion and everything balls out, I will go to the clean channel and push on the wah pedal and play with a funky staccato thing.

Hell yeah!

I think everyone else finds it annoying.

I have always enjoyed when the one guy in the band during practice either gets funky or jazzy, one of the two.

There is also something that Eli does that is fucking histarical. He never warns me he's going to do it. We will be in the middle of a song in the intense parts of the song he slips in the ba-dum tiss like a joke was told. When he nails it it's really a special thing.

Well, Keith that is all I have for you. Thank you again for your time!

Thank you very much, Shawn! The cassettes are available through Transylvania Recordings and Bandcamp. They are up for pre-order. I am not sure when those pre-orders will be in. There are some delays.

Several bands and labels having a tough time with vinyl getting pressed and shipping, too.

If you order the cassette you will get it eventually. I hope there is new music to announce in the near future.

We hope so, too!

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#D&S Interviews #Shitbag #Austin #Texas #doom patrol #sludge #metal #punk rock #Shawn Gibson #Transylvanian Recordings

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tirednotflirting · 4 years ago

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you're my golden hour (the color of my sky)

i miss going to concerts and when the fall festival in my city got officially canceled last week, i wrote lashton going to a festival to make me feel better. and then i started listening to Lorde and got emo. enjoy <3

ps special thanks to @calumcest bc i am having an absolute shit 24 hours but helen ur britpop playlist and that comment i found on the doc for this made me feel a bit better this morn x

LAST THING! i went ahead and made an ao3 (finally???) so if you prefer reading things there, you can head that way here

Ashton smiles, feeling the stretch in his cheeks from laughter and the sun that’s been shining on his face all day, and wonders if there was any way at all to top the feeling he’s experiencing right now.

It had been a long but good day. He watches the sun set over the desert horizon, his view waving from the heat from his spot on a quilt in the middle of the festival. Behind him he hears the beginning of some EDM set starting on the opposite side of the festival grounds, the earth just barely shaking from the bass. People pass him from behind as a large crowd begins to form some 100 feet in front of him. It had been a tiring and warm afternoon and evening, and while he was excited to hear this set, it wasn’t anyone he was a huge fan of, so he had made the executive decision to find a good spot back in the area that allowed chairs and sitting.

He watches flags and totems teeter around in the wind, the light breeze cooling the back of his neck. It was nearing the end of the second night of the festival and as he felt the dull ache in his ankles from walking and jumping around all day, he wonders to himself how the hell he is meant to manage another day of this. Maybe he would ask around once everyone got back to the house later in the night if anyone else was feeling their age and maybe wanted to head to the grounds a little ways into the afternoon for the last day? He sighs as he lifts his eyes toward the desert sky knowing that the answer would be a clap to his shoulder and the shaking of heads, his merry band and accompanying crew always somehow maintaining the energy level of 8 year olds when they came down for the festival.

Though he definitely did understand where they were coming from. He wasn’t sure how, but every time he found himself at a music festival (as a fan rather than a performer) the child-like, effortless joy of going to a show would surge through him. The big, sprawling crowds that if he saw in any other context would give him mountains of anxiety, felt like a breath of fresh air even as he snuck his large body between those around him to get closer to the action. The euphoria of a late night set, the only lights being those coming from the stage, with thousands of people all singing along to a song that meant something unique and new to each and every one of them. There was a special kind of magic brought into the world only by running around festival grounds in the desert with tens of thousands of people for a few days every spring. It was the kind of magic Ashton wished he could bottle up to save for cold, late autumn days when he was cooped up in his house, trying to remember what the memories really felt like.

He leans back then, clasping his hands behind his head to rest on, and recalls on the previous day. It had been awhile since the band had had the opportunity to go to a festival obligation-free and they were fully taking advantage of that chance. A house had been rented closer to the city where the festival was held, friends were invited, a grocery list divided up. They spend the Thursday night before the three day festival all trading stories of recent travels and adventures around a fire pit. It was fun to hear what mischief everyone had been up to while they were out on the road.

(Though if Ashton were being honest, he didn’t recall much of what was said following his trip to the kitchen with Luke about halfway through the night when the blonde had snuck in a kiss after shots with Calum. Ashton wasn’t sure if he was more shocked by the action or the lime juice that got left on his lips.)

The morning was spent divvying up snacks and sunscreen, emptying water bottles and tucking flasks into backpack pockets less likely to be checked by security. Or at least that’s what Calum and Ashton got up to while Luke and Michael pressed glitter stickers to their own faces before invading the kitchen to do the same to their boys. All in the spirit of the festival, the former two decided as they giggled while shooting stars and hearts were pressed to their cheeks.

They spend the day mostly just the four of them, the rest of their party having other people to catch up with or promotional obligations for their work to attend to. The merry band of Aussies would never admit it in front of anyone else but they really always preferred to attend shows just the four of them. There was a silent energy that wrapped around them when attending a concert, the same kind of whisper that had brought them together to make music together in the first place. They thrived on it, rode the feeling like a high of sorts.

That first night Michael and Calum decide they want to grab a drink just before the last set of the night is meant to start so they make the choice to just stick to the VIP section until the end of the show. Luke kept on glancing between Ashton, the direction Michael and Calum have just wandered toward, the crowd forming for the show, and back to Ashton so it doesn’t take long for the hazel-eyed boy to place a hand to Luke’s back and guide him in the direction of the sprawling crowd.

Luke had been sipping from a flask throughout the evening and was sufficiently loose and giggly as they find a spot in the middle of the crowd as darkness settled over the grounds. They’re talking through ideas for which sets they should hit the following day when the roar of the crowd picks up as a cue that something is about to happen. Ashton’s lifted his left hand to cup around his mouth to project his yells along with the rest of the crowd and when he moves to raise his right, he finds the limb stuck in place. He looks down to see Luke’s fingers tucked between his own and lifts his eyes to the dazed, happy look settled into the pale eyes of the slightly taller boy. He let a smile pull across his own face and his fingers squeeze around Luke’s hand as Lorde’s dreamy voice floats over the crowd, bright green lights illuminating their faces to tell them what she’d chosen to begin the set with.

Ashton had always felt a special kind of connection to the younger singer’s bright and exaggerated lyrics. The romanticization of youth and glittery nights that flow through her lyrics spoke to him in ways he always wished he could express in his somewhat younger years, the brilliance of being young and in love with everything something that their style of pop back in the day just couldn’t capture in quite the same light. Hearing the songs he was listening to in years prior, when he was pining after the boy just to his right, unable to express just how big his feelings were at the time, it all has his mind spinning.

She starts ‘Ribs’ up on the stage some ways in front of them, the gentle crooning of it drives you crazy, getting old feeling more poignant than normal in that particular moment. The lyrics feel heavy, though light at the same time, like his youth is drifting away in the desert wind while his age - though still quite young, Ashton does recognize - settles onto his shoulders like a heavy coat. It feels so scary, getting old floats through his mind when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist.

“Stop thinking so hard, old man,” Luke says in his ear above the crowd’s singing. He lets his lips pout against the little hoop through Ashton’s ear lobe before he continues. “It scares me too, but just...live in this for a bit.”

Ashton’s eyes close, the bright colored lights from the stage bleeding through his lids, and he sighs when he feels Luke’s stubble against his cheek when he moves to press a kiss to his temple before returning to bobbing along to the beat of the song. He’ll never understand the way the blonde is able to hear the racing of his thoughts though it's something he’s always been gifted with. Ashton is thankful for it, that Luke somehow knows exactly when to step in to ease his mind for a moment. He’s not sure what he would do without it.

They dance and yell and sing songs about being 19 despite being very solidly in their mid-20s for another hour before the set is over and the desert is lit up with the tall bright white lights above the grounds. They stumble into each other as they laugh and sing, eventually finding Michael and Calum along the way and pressure them into the same actions. Next thing they know, the four boys have piled into a car, repeatedly falling asleep against one another and the plushy seats of the car until they make it home.

The only sober one in the bunch, Ashton plants his boys at the kitchen island, making them all drink a few glasses of water and pass a bottle of aloe gel around to rub at the back of their necks to minimize the griping about sunburns the next day.

(It takes approximately three seconds of whining before Ashton gives in and pats the cool gel into Luke’s neck, chuckling at his whines at how cold it is. A babbling Calum leans his head against Ashton’s bicep while he performs the action, the brown-eyed boy telling him a story about some actor that him and Michael met backstage who bought them shots and knew one of their songs other than “She Looks So Perfect” and “Youngblood”.)

The remaining residents of the house have either ended up at after parties (how people can attend after parties on each night of the festival and still make it all the way to the end is wild, Ashton thinks) or at other houses in the area so Ashton makes sure to lock up after they all vacate the kitchen before heading up to his room on the next floor up.

He’s just slipped into the bed and clicked off the lamp when he hears his phone buzz on the bedside table. He squints against the light from the screen before his features soften as he opens up the picture Luke must have snapped of him toward the end of the Lorde set. He’s in the middle of laughing through the joy of hearing a song he loves, pink lights from the stage illuminating his face. The picture is accompanied by a caption that makes his heart drum some kind of hurried rhythm despite how simply its worded:

you looked so bright

Ashton sits up from the blanket as he hears a drum beat pick up from the stage up ahead, the crowd rising both in volume and height as those who were waiting get to their feet. The lovely breeze he had been enjoying while reminiscing on the day before dies off a bit as it gets blocked by those moving to stand. As a familiar guitar rhythm starts up, he closes his eyes and smiles, still caught up in this gorgeous, delicate moment that he feels so lucky to be somehow living in.

However, Ashton realizes then, as a water bottle gets placed in his lap and a second body drops to his right, that there was in fact a way to top how he was feeling just a few minutes before. The sun has just made its final descent below the horizon when he turns to see the smile spread across Luke’s sun-kissed cheeks.

“You were looking a little spaced out there, Ash,” Luke laughs as he pokes at Ashton’s cheek before shuffling a bit closer and wrapping his arms around the older boy’s neck and leaning in to press a kiss to the sun-warmed skin beside the condor just below his tangled black hair. The high of another music filled day and the tequila in Luke’s belly have him throwing caution to the California wind in terms of displaying his affection. Ashton figures the darkness provided by the hour and the low number of people that had come up to ask for photos throughout the weekend so far were enough justification to allow the tipsy, happy blonde to continue pecking at his neck. “Thinking about me?”

He giggles at Luke’s teasing words, feeling his cheeks warm some more than they already were. Ashton shifts some to get Luke to sit up and look at him. He can’t help the calloused hand that falls to his cheek, his thumb running along his cheekbone, beneath his tired, happy blue eyes. “Always.”

When Luke leans in to press his forehead against Ashton’s own, the crinkles beside his eyes just visible in the flashing lights from the stage far up ahead of them, he finds himself wishing he could bottle up this kind of magic too.

(What kind of magic this exactly is, he has yet to figure out. Though Ashton thinks he maybe might have a word for it. Maybe.)

#lashton #lashton fic #5sos slash #and this friends is what we call projecting #fhdsjkahlas #high key in the middle of the night i am minding my own business #trying to decide what set luke and ashton will be going to in this fic #and my spotify shuffled to the louvre and #then i was like 'ok yeah ash is gonna have an existential crisis while listening to ribs'#and here we are :)#lemme know what u think!

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass�� instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

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happymetalgirl · 4 years ago

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The 15 Worst Metal Albums of 2020

This list might have been shorter if not for my running into a few awful albums at the end of the year that I had been avoiding wisely up until that point. My morbid curiosity got the best of me, and what’s done is done. I’m paying the price for it by going back over the worst albums I heard all year. Let’s get this over with.

15. Ghøstkid - Ghøstkid

This was the debut solo album from the former singer of Eskimo Callboy, who had a pretty decent backing of hype heading into this release under the Ghøstkid moniker, but with the namesake frontman putting in no more than the standard performance on a bunch of poorly assembled tracks in an unappealing and dated poppy metalcore style, ultimately the eponymous album wound up disappointing me pretty substantially.

14. Powerman 5000 - The Noble Rot

Powerman 5000 are just such a low-rate band that even one of their more okay albums makes it here. While not as astoundingly, mind-numbingly basic as their worst material, The Noble Rot is still some of the most unevolved, underwritten, and forgettable electro rock and industrial metal I’ve heard from a big name artist. This is some eighth grade level songwriting here, and that’s a fuckin’ feat for a band that’s been around longer than any eighth grader has.

13. Corey Taylor - CMFT

There was a lot of hype around Corey Taylor finally coming out with a solo project, and it was pretty damn disappointing to hear a bunch of uninteresting classic rock too tacky for Stone Sour. CMFT focuses on the fun side that has made its creator such an enigmatic figurehead in the metal press, but its one-note approach does little more than highlight Corey Taylor’s songwriting deficiencies. I really could have seen this album turning out better too, with just some more time and care put into it, if a fun time of an album is what Taylor was going for. Unfortunately Taylor tried to make a party album and a grand ceremonial tribute to his greatness at the same time, and ego-petting and partying don’t really go hand in hand.

12. Evildead - United States of Anarchy

It has some good bones underneath it, but Evildead’s long overdue (if anyone was asking for it) third album wears out its welcome so quickly with some of the most adolescent thrash I’ve heard in a while. The band gets some good rhythms going and the vocals aren’t terrible either, fitting the older thrash style pretty well. But the band’s predictable formula tires out very quickly, and the political commentary of the lyrics is too cheesy and cringeworthy to ignore. It seems every year we get a handful of these kinds of albums that try to get into the simmering thrash revival with some ultra retro approach, and a good portion of those albums are from long-defunct bands who figure their primitive old-school approach might be a selling point despite their sounds often being even more juvenile against the backdrop of today’s metal landscape. So it’s not a huge surprise or anything to hear an album as ham-fisted and corny as United States of Anarchy; this year it just happened to be Evildead.

11. Five Finger Death Punch - F8

They may not always place highest in this list, but they always manage to make it here, and this was actually an improvement on the last album, not that that’s saying all that much. In fact, I’d say this is the only time in the band’s history that they actually shifted their trajectory upwards. But while the band’s ugly continual creative decay has been a hard thing to watch and made them the five finger punching bag of the metal world, there seems to be a large enough swath of mouthbreathing chuds who love their incoherent derivative shit and flock to their shows enough to put them in lucrative headlining slots and on top of the metal world. Goddamn that sure sounds a lot like someone else we all know doesn’t it. I’ve criticized them plenty in the past, and while indeed an improvement, F8 only mildly remedies the numerous problems with Five Finger Death Punch. Still septic to the system are the predictably formulaic and tiresome songwriting, the stale production, the corny butt rock choruses, the shitty bootlicking worldview that bleeds into Ivan Moody’s douchey and faux-deep lyrics, the contrived ballads and country-dabbling. Even with an improvement in the flow of the track listing and a few more bangers that somewhat hearken back to their first album, F8 is still an over-thought and overly calculated batch of Sirius XM fodder that’s trying to please everyone in some superficial way. I’ll grant that it seems as though the band realized they had been giving the more metal-immersed side of their fanbase that has been with them the longest smaller and smaller crumbs with each new album. I’m not gonna hold my breath for this being anything more than placating for the time being; I’m sure the next album will find the band back on whatever bullshit they feel (or their execs feel) they need to be on to pull enough streams from inattentive radio metal bros. I always end with the disclaimer that I still steadfastly stand by the band’s first two albums, and even American Capitalist to a degree, and that I totally acknowledge the immense potential for greatness this band could seemingly at any time decide to fulfill. Ivan Moody is a talented vocalist with a lot of star power and they really could have been the second coming of Pantera or singlehandedly ignited a new wave of American groove metal and metalcore or carried it on their own. But instead the band have followed the money on the path of least resistance to fast-track their way to the top of festival tickets, which I’m sure affords them quite enough luxury and comfort in life, more than most bands these days get, but it doesn’t exempt them from criticism, and unfortunately I think their legacy will show that they were a lowest common denominator kind of band at the end of the day when they could have been, again, like a second Pantera or something.

10. Anvil - Legal at Last

Another year, another album of Anvil unable to evolve past their prototypic thrash of their forty-year-old origins. Though as tacky as ever, Anvil actually also managed to make a mild improvement on their last album on the musical front at least. The songs are a little more energetic and easier to get through, if not for the lyricism though. Anvil lyrics are never anything beyond a fourth-grader’s poetry assignment for their English class, but some of the Facebook boomer lyrics here are fucking cringy dude. A quick look at the track listing will let you know exactly where you’re gonna find the juiciest cringe, but honestly, even as far as cringe goes it’s nothing comedically special and cringe culture in general is played out anyway. So do yourself a favor and just ignore Anvil the way they deserve to be ignored.

9. Halestorm - Reimagined

It feels a little harsh to place an EP here, especially for a band whose album back in 2018 was one of the best things I have heard to come out of hard rock in a long time. But these stripped back covers and revisions of songs from the band’s catalog just suck all the oomph out of them, perhaps making the case by contrast for the importance of the role the rest of the band behind the indeed charismatic powerhouse frontwoman Lzzy Hale play in making their sound what it is. It’s unlikely this points to any kind of new direction for them, so I’m not particularly worried about them running into this problem again. Plus, I don’t think Halestorm and Lzzy Hale are like fundamentally incompatible with more ballad-y rock music, this forced balladization of older songs just did not work, and it makes perfect sense as to why.

8. Gama Bomb - Sea Savage

The fact that this album is only number 8 on this list is just depressing for its reminder of just how much shittier it got this year. The fact that there are seven albums from this yet worse than Sea Savage, goddamn. With one exception, this was maybe the stupidest album I heard all year, at least in the thrash department it was. God this thing is a sugar high mess. I feel like a toddler on an entire bag of Halloween candy or an elementary schooler on a 2-liter of Mountain Dew sat at a computer to program a thrash album would’ve probably come up with something like this. The erratic operatic highs and dumbass lyrics, it all just embodies everything that ever made thrash look bad. It’s like that drunk guy at a party who’s hyper as shit and doing a bunch of crazy stunts for attention because he thinks it’ll make the people there like him more, but really he’s just embarrassing himself. Yeah, definitely the worst thrash metal album I heard all year, and one I wish I could unhear.

7. Amaranthe - Manifest

One of the albums I was avoiding but reviewed late out of my own weird sense of obligation that I wasn’t surprised to find only validated my reasons for avoiding it in the first place. The weird combo of dancy pop music and power metal isn’t as crazy of an idea as it might seem at first thought. In fact, that’s basically in part what Babymetal are doing, and actually getting better and better at. But Amaranthe get the worst of both worlds with Manifest, unsavory pop melodies and utterly generic symphonic metal to make for something I’m not at all surprised I was so repulsed by.

6. Trapt - Shadow Work

Yep, I listened to it. God, no wonder this band is flailing in irrelevance with aggressive MAGA nonsense being their only audible desperate plea for attention. The album, thank fuck, isn’t steeped in the same bitch boy tantrum that the band’s singer has engaged in all year to the point of getting his band’s Facebook page banned for hate speech, and the music isn’t like offensively poorly made or anything like that either. There’s clearly a conscious meeting of the baseline requirements for the type of music they make, but holy fuck it’s so damn flavorless and predictable. It’d be one thing if this was the trendy thing to be doing, but this diet hard rock for people who think Three Days Grace is too wild has been out of fashion for over a decade. And Trapt are just recycling the same dumb formula that overstayed it’s welcome in the early 2000’s. Yeah, I’m not surprised at all, but god, it’s the kind of thing that has to be apparent to the band themselves too unless they’re lacking of any and all self-awareness. Trapt have thrown themselves to the forefront of the online metal world’s discourse by being an annoying, toxic, and childish presence all year; the silver lining being the unity among metalheads in roasting their laughable posturing about their Pandora numbers and the juicy memes about their one hit “Headstrong” that rile the snowflake singer up without fail. And this shit album is just another reason to laugh at them and more fuel to roast their crybaby Trumper frontman with. Go back into your hole, Trapt. 3/10

5. Unleash the Archers - Abyss

I talked about it in my review, but there really is only one simple thing that sinks this album so low. And that is just how incredibly low-effort and lifeless it is with a genre that’s supposed to be so life-affirming. Power metal isn’t the most highly revered genre in metal, but that’s just for its cheesiness. I love it; when it’s at its best, it’s some of the most inspiring metal music out there and I genuinely wish there was a bigger demand across the board for it. But Unleash the Archers just sound so flat and unenthusiastic in this album, and, sorry, in power metal, unabashed enthusiasm is just nonnegotiable. The guitar parts are phoned in and lacking in imagination, and the vocals especially are so narrow-range, it’s all so antithetical to the ethos of power metal and it doesn’t make a strong case for itself. I’ll leave it there; this album is lazy and lifeless so I feel no need to waste any of my time and work on it.

4. Burzum - Thûlean Mysteries

Ol’ Varg must’ve needed a new wizard hat or camouflage pants or whatever goofy shit he’s been doing since retiring the Burzum name to focus on his racism and LARPing because I thought Burzum was supposed to be finished. I thought you were done with Burzum, Varg. Apparently not too done to not dump an hour and a half of embarrassingly half-baked ambient dungeon synth song fragments that sound, so many of them, quite obviously unfinished. Varg Vikernes has been a washed-up shell of the musical god the various weirdos who idolize him make him out to be for a long time now, and it has shown in the gradually degrading work he had put out after his release from prison. Yet after clearly not caring about creating music in any meaningful way for a long time, Varg drops this heap of shit in his fans’ laps. I suppose they deserve it, but I’m sure some of them are delusional enough to lap it up with a smile on their face while still believing their white nationalist idol to be a musical genius. Again, it’s entirely dull ambient music, not metal at all, but it deserves to be shit upon for its astounding laziness and purposelessness.

3. Asking Alexandria - Like a House on Fire

Doubling down on exactly the unflattering crossover of pop music with their significantly sanitized butt rock in their apparent quest for arena glory that started with their self-titled album back in 2017, Asking Alexandria’s bid for the big spotlight that Imagine Dragons occupies didn’t get any stronger this year with Like a House on Fire. After three or four years of aiming for this style, the band still aren’t even all that competent with the basics of fucking pop rock, which is pretty downright laughable. Honestly, for an album so high up here on my shit list, my feelings on it are more or less just that of unsurprised disappointment; as soon as I got a feel for what the band were doing with the album, I knew it was going to be a mess of predictable results. And lo and behold. This was just such a wholly inexcusably floppy paper towel of an album, and one more Asking Alexandria release I know I won’t be returning to ever again.

2. Hollywood Undead - New Empire, Vol. 2

Coming on at the last minute to get on the scoreboard, reliably, is Hollywood Undead. When I reviewed both volumes of this project earlier, I referred to them as “corporate Linkin Park”, and I stand by that 100%. This album especially showcases nothing but what an incoherent, vapid, clout-chasing act they are, with such a corny, focus-grouped sound that sounds like it was made in a lab by a bunch of out-of-touch boomers. God, they could’ve been safe too if they had left it with the more tolerable first volume back in January, but this follow-up sequel from just this month was exactly why I had avoided listening to the first installment in the first place. And I should’ve never played this second one either. The album opener, “Medicate”, is probably the worst song I sat through in my own volition this year, and the rest of the album doesn’t get much better. It’s nothing new for Hollywood Undead after I gave their 2017 album my award for least favorite album of that year: more unfitting interplay between machismo posturing Eminem-cosplay and the sappiest, wimpiest radio rock and pop choruses; more cringy tough-guy struggle bars; more forgettable-at-best instrumentals. Congrats again, Hollywood Undead, you made one of the worst albums of the year once again.

But even worse than Hollywood Undead is an album that I feel like is already so legendarily bad, that there is no other album that could’ve been sat here. It had to be this one.

1. Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

Shitty metal bands everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief any year Six Feet Under decide to put out new music because any album they release is just about bound to end up as everyone’s #1 worst album of the year, and boy is that guarantee becoming more and more airtight with each successive release. It’s truly astounding too how Six Feet Under manages to outdo themselves every time. I don’t even want to think about what could possibly come after Nightmares of the Decomposed; we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, holy fermented shit, this thing is not just bad, it’s like the holy grail of terrible TERRIBLE albums and I don’t want to know what kind of apocalyptically despicable album Chris Barnes and company could possibly conjure to outdo this one. And make no mistake, it’s still Chris Barnes dragging this band down. I gave this album a 1/10 instead of a 0/10 because there was at least a sliver of salvageable instrumentation on it, as thin of a sliver as it was, a few halfway decent musical ideas of you squinted hard enough. The instrumentalists are checked out and clearly just participating for the paycheck, but I can’t even imagine what kind of professional instrumental performance could possibly overshadow the embarrassment that Chris Barnes put to tape in the studio here. Maybe that says it, because it honestly sounds utterly unprofessional. It’s baffling how this got through management and sound engineering to be released to the public because I don’t think I’ve ever even heard any amateur high school band’s vocalist sound this bad. Vocal ingenuity is generally something to be applauded in the metal world, and pioneers like Randy Blythe, Dani Filth, and Travis Ryan deserve all the praise they get for their innovation with dirty metal vocals, yet what Chris Barnes has “invented” here on Nightmares of the Decomposed to compensate for his continually-deteriorating vocals is just sad. The man simply cannot perform highs anymore, clearly, and the alternative is this fucking comical, cartoonish squealing that sounds more like a bratty toddler gargling their own snot than it does anything fitting for a death metal record, even a death metal record at stupid and cheesy as Nightmares of the Decomposed. Chris Barnes should be thankful that metal is not a sport and that there’s not nearly as much of an abundance of performance statistics to point to and analyze to see what kind of records are broken in a legendarily awful performance. I feel like if there were any kind of performance stats to pull up, this album would have to break some kinds of records. Like this is worse than that 7-1 Germany-Brazil World Cup game, this would be like if the Brazilian team all got unholy levels of blazed and repeatedly scored on themselves because they kept going the wrong way and kicking the ball into their own net, and then pissing their fucking shorts. Even in 7-1 defeat, Brazil had more dignity than Chris Barnes here. Six Feet Under and their label have to know they are a laughing stock and that people will listen to them at this point for the sheer entertainment value of how mind-blowingly awful they sound. It’s not an illegitimate marketing tactic, and it’s the only explanation I can come up with for how this passed inspection. If that’s their mission, to be a spectacle and instill cringe in death metal fans in a regular ritual of comically stupid performances across every successive album, they’re sure doing it, and I guess this baffling headache-trophy is their well-earned prize. Congratulations Six Feet Under, you did it again! Worst metal album of the year.

#metal #heavy metal #worst albums of 2020 #hard rock #thrash metal #groove metal #alternative metal #butt rock #acoustic rock #power metal #dungeon synth #ambient #ambient music #metalcore #arena rock #pop rock #alternative rock #death metal

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fromtheringapron · 4 years ago

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WCW Halloween Havoc 1999

Date: October 24, 1999.

Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Attendance: 8,464.

Commentary: Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan.

Results:

1. WCW Cruiserweight Championship Match: Disco Inferno (champion) defeated Lash LeRoux.

2. Street Fight for the vacant WCW World Tag Team Championship: Harlem Heat (Booker T and Stevie Ray) defeated The First Family (Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs) (with Jimmy Hart) and The Filthy Animals (Billy Kidman and Konnan) to win the titles.

3. Eddie Guerrero defeated Perry Saturn via disqualification.

4. Brad Armstrong defeated Berlyn (with The Wall).

5. WCW World TV Championship Match: Rick Steiner (champion) defeated Chris Benoit.

6. Lex Luger (with Miss Elizabeth) defeated Bret Hart.

7. WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting (champion) defeated Hulk Hogan.

8. WCW United States Championship Match: Goldberg defeated Sid Vicious (champion) via TKO to win the title.

9. Strap Match: Diamond Dallas Page (with Kimberly) defeated Ric Flair.

10. WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Goldberg defeated Sting (champion) to win the title.

My Review

WCW was rapidly spinning out of control by the time of Halloween Havoc 1999, but a new beginning seemed to be on the horizon. Vince Russo, the man who spearheaded the Attitude Era in the WWF, joined the writing team right before the show, with hopes he’d add a spark to a product that’d become convoluted and stale. Russo certainly did bring a spark; the only problem is that he wound up burning down the whole house with it. Halloween Havoc 1999 may have only just been the start of this new era, but it’s got Russo’s fingerprints all over it and, holy shit, does it go off the rails in a hurry.

In a way, Halloween Havoc and Russo’s swerve-laden booking seem like the perfect match. If there’s one event where he could go balls to the wall with crash TV and gimmickry, it’s gotta be Havoc, and heavens knows the depths of absurdism WCW reached at the event in the years before Russo anyway. Unfortunately, the ‘99 Havoc features one of Russo’s worst booking caveats⏤the worked shoot. This would happen several times throughout his tenure in WCW, each more embarrassing than the last, but his obsession with “going off the script” starts here.

The show starts conventionally enough, but it takes a hard left turn into near indescribable chaos. Midway through, we have a match between Hulk Hogan and Sting, a main event match that’s bound to draw no matter how many times it happens. But, alas, there’s a twist: Hogan “lies” down for Sting and the match ends in 3 seconds. It’s then given zero explanation or follow-up for the rest of the show, leaving the audience confused and downright angry. Even when you look past they just pissed away a match people were paying money to see, it feels like a desperate attempt to create controversy just to pop some interest in the next night’s Nitro. I don’t think Hogan “lying down” was ever explained on WCW TV though, which just makes the whole thing worse.

If that weren’t enough, the commentators and performers are constantly bringing up “the writers from up North” and the “powers that be.” It’s deliberately meant to be a wink at the audience, who are likely rolling their eyes so hard that you can practically hear it. It’s all just a way of saying “Get it? This is a bunch of fake shit. You’re watching a bunch of fakers. But this right here? This is real.” The reality is that it’s actually just embarrassing, not that Russo ever caught on. There’s still plenty of other swerves throughout the night, including a surprise Sting vs. Goldberg main event. The crowd in Las Vegas seems to dig it, at least. Too bad it’s practically impossible to connect the dots on how we even got the damn match in the first place!

Halloween Havoc 1999 is exactly the kind of madness you can expect from WCW’s annual schlockfest, but it’s even more confounding and inexplicable this time out. I guess the nicest thing I can say is that the show certainly isn’t boring. The bad part is that the fun often gives way to frustration, filling this Halloween Havoc up with more tricks than treats.

My Random Notes

On WCW Nitro for Men Cologne: Okay, I’m completely befuddled by this. I can’t imagine a grown ass adult actually purchasing it, let alone a 14-year-old. Beyond that, they have a segment on this show where Medusa and Bobby Heenan basically tell us it’s shit?

Lash LeRoux, in his ongoing quest to carve out an identity for himself, wears a dreadful Lash Vegas shirt to the ring. I’d like to think he immediately discarded it after this show and never wore it again.

Buff Bagwell takes one of the worst guitar shots I’ve ever seen. It just kinda bonks over his head. I do wonder what level of craft goes into creating a gimmicked guitar, though.

The Halloween Havoc graveyard in this outing features a headstone shared by The Boston Strangler and Jack the Ripper. Yes, folks, that’s right: The Ripper was not only identified, but also shares the same grave with another serial killer at MGM in Las Vegas. The more you know!

I haven’t seen enough of them to judge, but Revolution are pretty much like the Radicals just without Eddie, no?

Eddie stealing Ric Flair’s Rolex was a storyline at this time, apparently. It’s another example of Russo stuffing in too many storylines, but I do low-key appreciate it’s not the only documented time Eddie has stolen from Flair, must we not forget the time he stole Flair’s number at Royal Rumble ’05.

We get a quick shot of a Hogan WWF wrestling buddy in the crowd, which reminds me that I have the Warrior and Macho King ones smoldering up in my attic somewhere.

Shoutout to the show’s poster, which gives me strong Animorphs vibes and Scholastic Book Fair memories. There was also the Nickelodeon show I barely watched? I just remember there was some dude named Tobias on it.

In Russo’s obsession with confused sexual analogies, DDP delivers a promo where he winds up landing on him and Flair jerking off together. Um, okay. Not gonna try to unpack that. Happy for you tho. Or sorry that happened.

Pretty crazy to think Bret vs. Luger would’ve been an absolutely money program just five years earlier when both were headlining WrestleMania X, and now they’re here just in this 7-minute drivel of a match. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, as both were at a radically different point in their respective careers by this time, but I find their showing here depressing as fuck.

#wwe network #halloween havoc #wcw #wrestling #halloween #wwe nxt #goldberg

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theheightofdishonor · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Battles in the Metal Saga (in no particular order)

Kyoya-Ryuga

There aren’t many battles that are just about raw power the way this one is. The whole thing is just so extra, from ruining the stadium before the battle even begins to ending with Ryuga’s possession and Kyoya passing out with a dragon’s tail going through his chest. The power-play between these two is riveting. And on top of that, it’s the closest anyone but Gingka and Nemesis ever gets to beating Ryuga. However, it does annoy me that Kyoya is the only one of Ryuga’s opponents in Battle Bladers who comes out unaffected in the long-term. After their respective battles, Hikaru retires from Beyblade, Tsubasa suffers with possession, and both experience a healthy dose of PTSD but apparently, Kyoya gets away with no signs of it? I call bullshit.

2.Da Xian - Julian

If you didn’t love Da Xiang before, you had to after this battle. It did a brilliant job of highlighting how good Dashan is at manipulating people, and doing so “coolly, and brilliantly”. Dashan sees the scene as the opportunity it is and coaxes Julian from a disheartened shell of his former self to someone who’s willing to try again without the man even knowing. Oh, and he gets Julian to appreciate the value of his friends too. And beats him in battle easily. And delivers, “You think you and I are alike? That’s an insult, ” decimating Julian’s remaining pride. Talk about being cool. (Chao Xin should definitely take pointers)

3. Gingka vs 100 (supposedly) Face Hunters

I had a hard time choosing between this and the battle earlier in the episode where Gingka first saves Kenta from Face Hunters, but I think this holds more impact and the one Kenta thinks is more notable. As a fight itself, it’s short compared to some of the other more epic battles on this list, and its placement is more about the consequences of it than the contents of the actual battle itself. It’s the moment where Kenta’s admiration for Gingka really cements, and the moment that Kyoya takes a serious interest in him, shaping his relationship with two people who will be monumental in his life. Also, Gingka looks super cool and baby Kenta is adorable.

4. Excalibur-Gan Gan Galaxy

This battle has one of my favourite scenes of ALL TIME- Masamune single-handedly cutting through Sophie and Wales’s joint special move. Let me just take a second to gush about how powerful he is and how much I love him and how he deserves so much more love and did I mention he stopped the twins in their track with ONE MOVE. Your fave could never but if I don’t stop now, i’ll be talking about Masamune all day.

The visual of Pegasus and Striker moving as one force, with the music crescendoing only for Destroyer to cut them down at the climax, is breathtaking. Seriously, I’ve watched that one scene on repeat and my breath catches.

I love to see Masamune and Gingka work together as a team, especially because it’s not their preferred dynamic and it doesn’t always come easily to them. But when they try, they’re magic together, partially because they’re so alike. This is the only battle where we get the full force of the Y-Masamune-Gingka dynamic, a god-tier trio who can only possess one brain cell when they’re together because otherwise, they’d be way too strong. Let’s be real. If these morons actually combined their intelligence, they would have crushed Excalibur to dust. We need more scenes with them tbh

As a side note, it was not at all ok for these guys to crash the festival or for Yu to ruin a culturally important arena. It’s played off way to lightheartedly for my tastes. It’s not even the only time they’re insensitive- in Fury, Yu and Kyoya damage ancient ruins and Gingka’s group explicitly disobeys orders to not step on a sacred volcano. The whole thing is kinda gross and the Metal Saga should address its serious disregard for other cultures. Sophie losing her shit on a literal 12 year old was funny though.

5. The Legendary Bladers-Nemesis part 2

This is a pretty long battle, I linked it to where the battle begins but it doesn’t end until the end of the next episode. There’s a lot about this battle that drives me crazy- like why are you people just letting Kenta destroy himself, why are the strongest bladers in the world who were specifically chosen for this battle unable to withstand for more than two hits, etc BUT- this is when Ryuga hands over the Star Fragment which is cool and emotional enough to let everything else slide. It’s a pretty satisfying conclusion to the Kenta-Ryuga arc and rings parallel to Metal Fusion down to Ryuga pulling a Storm Pegasus and disappearing into thin air.Which talking about, I will forever be mad Storm Pegasus doesn’t ever come into play after Metal Fusion. Shogun Steel would have been such a perfect time to bring Storm Pegasus back to play and assure in a new era- such wasted potential, but I digress.

Oh, and friendly reminder that Yu’s Inferno Blast breaks through Rago’s barrier while 8 Legendary Bladers combined couldn’t leave a dent on Nemesis.

6. Kenta-Reiji

Talking about emotional, if you didn’t cry during this battle, you’re a liar- it’s painful to watch. The entire thing with Kenta using Libra’s performance tip and his insistence that he has to win for Yu- it breaks your heart. Reiji is such a great villain because he does exactly what he’s meant to do- make the audience be invested in him. He’s so unnecessarily cruel, so irredeamable, and this episode drills that into your skull. Even the spectators of the match can’t look on as Reiji tortured Kenta well after Sagittario has stopped spinning.

7. Easter Island

It would take too long to name everyone involved in this, so i’m not going to. But boy is it a ride You’ve got King starting it off with Chris for insulting/defeating/humiliating Masamune- a noble cause if there ever was one. His impassioned defense of his boyfriend is one of the best speeches/declarations in the Saga and is also 80% of the reason this battle is on the list. The guy has his priorities straight, ok. Gingka says it’s either Masamune’s feelings or the world and King chooses Masamune, no questions, no hesitations. Can’t say I blame him. Especially after seeing the heartbreak on Masamune’s face when Chris insults him. But of course, the world is actually more important so

Gingka jumps in to stop King which as Benkai mentions, you can’t stop him from battling by actually battling him, so I don’t know what Gingka was thinking. Johannes’s lackies, including Aguma and the Beylin Fist, joins the battle, prompting Zeo, Toby, etc to also join. Then Ryuga appears and starts draining Chris’s power before Kenta stops him (thus publically revealing their affiliation to the world) and the two disappear. Literally everyone is involved, Johannes tells Chris to “man up” when he dares to show pain that Ryuga is literally stealing his power away but then vanishes because he doesn’t want to face Gingka head on yet. Can you say hypocrite? And while this was all happening, Johannes somehow managed to buy Chris’s loyalties.

It’s insane and so much fun.

8.Tsubasa-Jack

I didn’t expect to put this on the list but I watched it recently and had a newfound appreciation for it so here it is. While the team battle with Excalibur was the climax of Tsubasa’s arc, this was the resolution. It is arguably Tsubasa’s best battle of the series. He made his recovery with Excalibur, had a practice run with the Garcias, and by this battle, Tsubasa is better than ever. There’s a satisfaction in watching Tsubasa beat Jack with ease. After struggling the entire season, it's very cathartic. There’s this one bit where Jack is complaining about battling Ryuga and how Tsubasa can’t possibly know the disappointment he felt and Tsubasa snaps, because how fucking dare he, who the fuck did Jack think he is. Again, very cathartic.

Irrelevant, but this episode has some of the best quotes including gems like

“What is this? A bunch of creepy pictures”;

“Oh dear Tsubasa” queue Jack asking for a battle;

“You’re really lacking in the culture department” - Jack to Madoka, “

The rest of Gan-Gan Galaxy are common, unrefined types”.

The list never ends. Do yourself a favour and watch the episode.

9. Zoe-Toby-Masamune

This is the only season where there’s no one Final Battle but instead two separate climactic moments- Ryuga and Gingka working together to stop Hades City from melting down(?) and Toby and Zeo fighting to bring Toby back to normal.

Unlike the Finales in Fusion and Fury, this one’s private, personal. Not only were Ryuga-Gingka battle and the Battle against Nemesis attended by a lot of people, they were also widely broadcasted across the world. In comparison, Toby, Zeo and Masamune (and Ziggurat at one point) are the only ones to witness the Finale in Masters. It’s a very intimate moment. Their friendship is fractured-Toby's brainwashed, Zeo was manipulated, and there’s still tension because Masamune left them in a time of need. The two of them are finally confronting just how much their friendship has strained: Masamune never imagined Zeo would resent him when he only ever wanted to fulfill Toby’s wish; he’s almost offended Zeo would think so badly of him. On the other hand, Zeo wrestles between accepting Ziggurat manipulated him but also his very valid resentment towards Masamune. They both hurt each other but get past it and forgive each other for the sake of their best friend. Bey battles are when bladers communicate through each other and in this one, these three use it to find their way back to each other.

10.

Gingka-Kyoya

Of course, the list wouldn’t be complete without a Gingka-Kyoya battle. Despite Kyoya being Gingka’s second biggest rival, they only have 3 complete battles with a clear winner. (Kyoya is disqualified in Survival Battle, and neither won in the Championships Team battle or the one in Fury). Despite there being so few options, it was still hard for me to choose because they’re all brilliant and my opinion changes every other day.

Honestly, I didn’t remember why I chose this battle, so I went back in and re-watched it- SO many thoughts. For one thing, Kyoya sounds like a cheesy bat man villain. Seriously though, the battle feels so off to me because in this episode, Kyoya is more or less just another evil villain; a pale foreshadow of what Ryuga will become in the Final Battle. I’m not even kidding. This hits almost the exact beats that the Gingka-Ryuga battle will. I didn’t like this battle when I re-watched it for this post. Gingka and Kyoya’s battles are important because of the history and bond they share and in this battle, neither of those are solidified and it’s just not as satisfying.

I will admit though that this battle was important for them, mostly Kyoya who was headed towards unhinged-Ryuga territory before Gingka saved him. It kickstarts Kyoya into being the lovable grump we know he’s capable of being and creates a debt towards Gingka which in turn develops into an actual friendship. It’s an important step of their journey and I can’t begrudge it too much ig. If you really want to watch a Gingka-Kyoya battle for non-thematic reasons, though, I recommend the World Championships or the one in Metal Fury Ep 1

#metal saga #beyblade metal saga #gingka hagane #beyblade #metal fusion #metal masters #metal fury #beyblade metal fight #metal fight #kyoya tategami #kenta yumiya #ryuga

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flyinghetfield · 5 years ago

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Chapter 11/Part 2 Violin Girl If you haven’t read the first part of violin girl. Here is the start [x] Enjoy x. *This is based 6 Months later after the San Fran story.* also the name of this might change as its a second part now, haven’t made my mind up about that yet.

---------------------------------------------- The applause seemed thunderous as you and the orchestra bowed, the concert finally coming to an end. The past few months had seemed like a blessed whirlwind as you had been touring around Europe playing with some of the most best classical musicians in the world. Tonight? Amsterdam. The orchestra waits until the maestro walks off the stage, the house lights finally coming up as everyone starts to file out of the room. Walking off the stage you nod politely to some of the patrons standing around, their formal suits and evening dresses making you slightly jealous as they seemed to mold in with all the beauty around them. Finding your way back to the dressing rooms, you walk over to your bag and start to strip off the now sweaty black clothes you had worn on stage. “Charlotte, seriously has to get her shit together on sheet 20. She keeps coming in a second late and if stuffs John up every time.” You duck down to your little compartment, grabbing out your jeans and a nice shirt while tucking away your violin in your bag “Y/N what do you think?” “Hmm?” Glancing up, you shake your head as you pull your fresh shirt over your head. “Charlotte? She’s got her heart in the right place, just needs a little practice is all.” Dawn was always very strict on how everyone performed each night having been in this symphony for over 8 years. Don’t know why she want’s my opinion though. “The only thing she’s practicing on every night is the maestros blowpipe.” Snickers erupt in the room and you resist the temptation to roll your eyes at dawn, settling on a tight smile as you sit down to put your shoes on. as a fierce red head walks in the room, her hands on her hips, clearly peeved at over hearing what was just said. “Dawn, seriously, you were young once.. Charlotte is just having fun.” Dawn makes a tch sound, before turning back to her clothes as Ruby smiles over in your direction. Ruby, was also a violinist and had been a world of help to you while traveling, taking you to all the cool little places in each town, as well as helping your drunk ass get back to the hotel each night. “Y/N, are you ready? Let’s go and enjoy the night while we’re still young.” Smiling, you grab your bag and follow Ruby out of the room. Ruby claimed that she had been touring since she was 16 and had been enjoying the spotlight for almost 10 years, the perks of being a wonder child. As the two of you walk in the corridors, people stop to congratulate the two of you on a wonderful performance. Well.. mostly Ruby. The two of you head out of the building and you breath a deep breath of relief at the cool night and take in the scenery around you as Ruby lights up a cigarette. “So my little protégé” Ruby blows a gust of smoke in your direction and you cough. “Where shall we go tonight?” “Do I actually have an opinion on where to go or have you already made plans like last time?” “I like to make you think you have some sort of opinion.” Laughing, she grins as she reaches down and grabs your hand, tugging you into the streets of Amsterdam. You still have to mentally slap yourself as you take where you currently are. It had been a fluke that you had been invited on the tour, since the Violinist who was meant to be in your spot had come down with some sort of illness and Kamen of all people had thrown your name in the hat, when people had asked about a replacement. A few weeks after, one soppy cry fest from Eric. “Bring home an exotic boyfriend!” and you were in business class, flying off to Italy of all places. It had been there on that flight that you so happen to sit next to the fiery red head who was now inseparable from you. “Here Y/N, wait here. I’m going to go grab us a drink. Don’t wander off.” You watch as Ruby walks off and you lean against the railing by the canal, admiring the couples as they lounge casually in their boats. Sighing as one of them kisses their lover, your mind drifts off back to San Francisco and you feel a pang on home sickness settle over you. Eric would love ruby, he would love being here, especially the red light district.. Looking over you notice a bridge and see two buskers standing there, playing acoustic guitars, serenading people as they walked past. I wonder... what’s he up to? You shake your head violently at the thought. It had been months since you thought of him, so why did he have to appear now? “I always have that reaction when looking over the canal.” Startled slightly, you glance over to your left to see a guy leaning against the railing as well. Well hello...This one is cute. Blonde hair.. tied back in a bun, Blue eyes, Boyish smile... I swear if he’s name starts with a J... “You stare at canals often?” “Only when I have to talk to a stunning girl.” You can’t help the sudden snort that comes out of the back of your throat and shake your head. “Ok.. ok yes that was corny but I had to try.” He extends his hand out. “I’m Kris.” Oh thank god. You look down at his hand and back up at his face. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging here.” Rolling your eyes, you shake his hand. “Y/N.” “Ah what a beautiful name to add to the cute face.” Sighing you stand up straight and pull a really? face at him. He throws his hands up and smiles. “I can’t stop, i apologize.” Oh why do you have to be cute? “Clearly this isn’t your first time here, if you have a habit of picking up girls along the canal” His eyebrows shoot up at the sentence and he smiles slightly. “How do you know i’m Foreign? Maybe I live here.” That makes you laugh out loud and you shake your head. “I can spot a danish accent a mile away.” As you nod in the direction of some of the natives walking around, talking. “You? I’m going to say good old U-S of A.” He stands there for a moment, staring at you before smiling. “New York.” You grin back, as he finally gives in. “What about you?” “San Fran.” “Ah, I've never been to San Francisco. Is it really as hilly as the pictures show?” “If you want a good cardio work out, it would be the place for it.” “I keep telling her to move from there.” Ruby finally reappears, scaring you slightly and you smile as she hands you a smoothie, which you happily start to suck away on. “Ruby we have only known each other for a few months, I’m not going anywhere and also you live in London, so you have no input in this.” She laughs and casually wraps a arm around your waist. A protective thing to ward of any unexpected attention when traveling around. This wasn’t the first time the two of you had received attention from some of the locals and had both agreed on some rules to help get each other out of trouble when needed. Girl code so to speak. “I’m Kris.” He extends his hand out to ruby, who shakes it firmly. “I know.” You almost choke on your drink as you whip your head towards her. “You guys have met?” “No but I have seen him before. This guy is quite a shark in the music industry.” Your eyebrows fly up as you look back over at Kris, who now has a smug smirk on his lips. “I just know how to do business, that’s all.” He looks back over towards you and winks, making you divert your eyes back over to the canal as your face starts to heat up. “So is it business or pleasure?” Now you look over at Kris, who is smiling at Ruby’s question. “Business.. I’m here closing out a deal before flying back home. Knowing.. I’m always down for a little bit of pleasure.” You swear you could see his eyes dart over to you and you lean against ruby at bit more, which doesn’t go unnoticed by her. “Well.. I was just about to take my protégé here down to the red light district, since she’s never seen it before..” Ruby pulling away from you, grabs your hand once more as you look at her Are you crazy!? “..You can tag along if you wish.” Kris smiles and you blush once again as he stands up fully, showing his full height. Jesus he would have to be over 6ft. “I would love to.” ~~~~ The three of you walk through the Red light district and you can’t help but be enticed by the neon lights bouncing off each shop, their red lights dazzling and flashing. There are people everywhere, and you grip on Ruby’s hand slightly tighter as you weave through a lump of people standing in front of a club with Exotic females dancing in each window. Oh Dorthy, your not in Kansas anymore. You giggle slightly as you walk past a fountain with an interesting sculpture piece sitting boldly on top. “I don’t think that would fit.” Jumping at Kris’s sudden voice in your ear, you turn your head and give him a smug smile. “Not if you don’t try.” He laughs and shakes his head. Ruby suddenly stops in front of one of the many bars open and turns back around to you, a grin on her lips. “Want to go for a drink?” She points up to the neon sign. “Do you remember the last time that happened!? You were dancing on top of the bar and almost cracked your head open when you slipped!” “Exactly! I need to keep practicing my dance moves, so I don’t slip again” You have no chance to rebut as Ruby walks down the stairs. You turn to look at Kris and shrug before following into a underground bar. The music is loud and pumping as you walk down the steps, which you know either yourself or ruby will be falling up or down at some point through out the night. Stopping on the bottom step you look around the full room and try to glance over the tops of people, looking for that particular shade of red hair. “Lets go to the bar” Kris yells into your ear and you blush as he grabs your hand, you give him a questioning look and he grins “Ruby would kill me if you were left alone” Yeah your probably right. The two of you weave through the dance floor, towards the bar and you can feel Kris squeeze your hand for a sense of comfort. Finally emerging from the pool of sweat and god knows what else bodily fluids, the two of you stand against the edge of the bar. Glancing down the bar itself you see Ruby up the other end shouting and pointing towards some particular bottles on the wall. “Anything in particular catch your fancy?” Kris voice is in your ear once more and you shake your head laughing. “Ruby usually orders for me, she knows all the hidden gems” You look up at his face and see him pondering what to order. “Well are you wanting something sweet like yourself?” Eye roll “Or hard and heavy like myself?” You can see the challenge rolling off of him. You were never one to resist a challenge. “Hard and heavy” “Excellent” He grins as he tries to get the bartenders attention. A cute danish guy finally notices and comes walking over. Kris throws his hand up “Two Genever’s please” “Young or old?” The bartender questions and you throw your eyebrows up. “Old” He nods, before walking off to grab a bottle off the shelf. “Genever?” You lean against the bar looking up at Kris. “Pretty much the Quintessential dutch drink to try.” You shake your head smiling. “How many times have you been here?” “Let’s just say this isn’t my first rodeo.” You laugh as the bartender puts down the drinks and after a quick argument of who was going to pay, Kris hands over the money. “Come lets find somewhere quieter to talk.” Grabbing your hand he pulls you towards a sitting area, towards the back. Looking around you notice that most of the booths are filled with lovers, lustfully kissing or whispering temptations to each other as the two of you find a booth for yourself. Kris sitting down first before pulling you in next to him. You take a drink of the glass in your hand, and cough as it hits you. “I told you it was strong.” Laughing you wave your hand. “So Mr. Hard and Heavy” You put the glass down and smile at him “Ruby said you are in the music business, what do you do?” He runs his hand along his jawline. “I manage musicians, bands etc. and help with the booking and making sure those musicians make it to the next concert, interview, photo shoot etc.” “Ah a tough life indeed.” He laughs as he takes a sip of his drink. “Oh you don’t know the half of it, how many times I've pulled half naked rock stars out of motel rooms at 6 in the morning because we have to make a 8 am flight to a 10am photo shoot for, let’s say Rolling Stones.. well let’s just say I could probably buy myself one hell of an expensive yacht.” The both of you laugh and you notice Kris moving in closer to you. “But enough about me, a pretty girl like yourself, in Amsterdam of all places, you must have a story to tell?” “Not really, I mean it’s not always like this -” You wave your hand around “-I’m usually living my life in San Francisco or playing with a symphony less.. exotic.” “Symphony? What do you play?” “Violin.” “Ah” Kris raises his hand and traces along your neck, making you shiver “No wonder you have such a pretty neck, the violin has made it all the much sweeter.” You feel his lips kiss the edge of your jawline, your eyes fluttering to a close. Ok. Cute guy, kissing my neck, not exotic like Eric wanted but better than nothing. You feel his hand on your thigh, his thumb doing slight circles on the inner part. “Kris..” “Shh” His lips softly kiss on yours and you kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck as he deepens it, you feel his hands move to your hips and you instantly pull back. “What’s the matter?” Staring into his blue eyes you take a deep breath, The last time I was in this situation.. I was with him. You can recall the way his hands gripped into your hips leaving marks, the way his eyes shone as he kissed you, his moan, his scent. “I need to get out of here.” Standing up suddenly, you wobble and lean against the chair, holding yourself up. How much alcohol is in that drink?? “Are you sur-” “She said she needs to get out of here, let her go.” You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and comfort his you as you lean into Ruby. “Let’s get out of here, I’m bored of this place already.” Once Ruby knows you are able to walk, she grips your hand once more as she pulls you back through the crowd of people. Looking behind you, you try to see if Kris is following but don’t spot him anywhere. Climbing back up the stairs - slowly so neither of you would fall - you find yourself once again leaning over the railing of the canal, taking deep breaths as Ruby lights up another cigarette. “How.. how did you find us?” “Not that hard.. I saw you two at the bar talking and saw him drag you off the back. Told myself I’d give you at least 15 minutes before coming and checking up on you.” She blows out a puff. “Good thing I did cause he was all over you.” You chuckle before going quiet again, a shiver vibrating through you as the night air really hit you. “Look stay here, Let me go see if i can find a taxi rink so we can get your drunk, ass home.” “Ruby I can function by myself” “Ah my protégé, that’s not how this works.” She grins and kisses you on the cheek. “Stay, hold my cigarettes so I have an incentive to come back and get you.” You laugh as she walks off towards the street. Looking down at her cigarettes, you smile and shake your head. Eric was going to kick my ass for making out with a random guy in a night club, who wasn’t even danish. You run your hand along your jawline where Kris was and hope no bruising will show. Dawn will have a field day. “You just can’t stay away from me can you Violin Girl.” The flood of ice that runs through your body hits all at once as you take in a gasp of air. That voice.. I’m hearing things.. this can’t be real. Slowly you turn around to meet a pair of, now amused, green eyes and let out a shaky breath. “...Lars.” ----------------------- < Previous Next>

#*Screams*#do you know #its been since 2017 #2 0 1 7 #since i posted about this story #welp here we go

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bbs-backlog-challenge · 4 years ago

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Games Of 2020

Bet there’s gonna be loads of very trite retrospectives this year. 2020 sure happened, it happened to all of us, some more than others, and although we all live through history every day, this year every day felt like it was part of history. Video games!!! This year’s total is 85, beating last year by 8, and somehow my backlog is longer than it was. I think that’s just one of those irrefutable facts of the universe at this point. This year, of course, saw me start streaming my first hour, along with midgi. Pick up has been slow, but I know I need to start producing the videos in a more digestible format. Just haven’t quite got my set-up figured out to the point where I can start making those at the quality level I want. It’s coming. That’s for 2021! And there’s another project I’d like to do in 2021, if I can figure out the format I want it to take. Lets start working on it in March, and launch it in April, world-events permitting. Video games!

- Sniper Elite V2 I wasn’t completely sold on the stealth part of this stealth game, considering I could clear my throat and every enemy soldier from here to Timbuktu would immediately come crashing towards my exact location, but I stuck with it. ...Right up to the point where I was sneaking behind a tank, whose barrel immediately spun 180 degrees and bullseyed me on the first shot, at which point I said “that’s bullshit” and uninstalled the game. Yes, it was a ragequit, but life is too short to put up with marksman tanks. - Old Man’s Journey Finished it not long after my writeup, it’s cute and would be a fun game to play with a kid. Very storybook. A little sad at the end, but we expected that. - Ys Seven This game has some real trouble with its signposting. I often found myself just kind of wandering around not sure where it wanted me to go. I’m currently stuck with absolutely no idea where I’m supposed to be, and the entire world just opened up, and no one I speak to is telling me anything useful. Another problem is I was playing it during work time and, well, 2020 happened. Will probably pick it back up once work starts. - Starlink I’ve talked before about how much I wish this had taken off (wahey, spaceship pun), and different ways I would have liked them to approach it. Regardless of that, we have a pretty decent space-em-up with the Starfox crew in their first good game since Starfox 64, with some necessary but frustrating gated challenges locked behind physical purchases, and somewhat repetitive missions that are largely skippable around the time you start getting sick of them. Worth a punt, even if you’re just buying it for the (very nice) Arwing model. - Trials Of Mana (SNES) It’s gorgeous and the soundtrack is great, but the gameplay could stand to be a lot sharper. Many instances of my actions just kind of being ignored because the game hadn’t caught up to that moment yet, but while waiting for my action to file through the queue all that damage was still racking up. Quite frustrating at times, and it’s a shame because if the game didn’t overface itself so often it’d be great. Still enjoyable, but brace for a lot of “hey wtf that’s BS”. - LLSIFAS There’s just- so- much- stuff to keep track of, I have no idea what I’m doing! I don’t know what any of these stats do! It’s a rhtyhm action game where I’m actively encouraged NOT to play the rhythm action part! What on earth does Voltage mean! Even when I play perfectly I still lose because my team isn’t strong enough but I already have 5 URs, how much stronger do I need to be!? It didn’t work with me, is what I’m saying. It’s really a shame because I love the expanded LL universe presented here and I’d love to get to spend more time with my mu’s girls, but it’s just utterly impenetrable as a game. Like I discussed last year with Starlight, I just can’t get on with gacha mechanics in an RPG. - Punch Out Aahhh, my old knackered thumbs aren’t what they used to be. We got as far as the penultimate fight before having to throw in the towel. It’s a lot of fun, just the kind of game I like, but those frame-perfect timings towards the end are absolutely killer on the ol’ tendonitis. - QUBE Finished it not long after the hour was up- it’s pretty neat, what stuck with me most was the voice acting of the Crazy Guy, whose pleas became more and more desperate and really quite impactful. Very impressive performance from that man. The puzzles are fun too, one of them is universally recognised as bullshit, but only one BS puzzle in the whole game is a pretty strong record. - Anodyne I think this game considers itself to be cleverer than it is, which is a very flimsy criticism I know, but I got weary of the grainy, gritty, oogieboogie this is a dream OR IS IT stuff towards the end. Far too many Link’s Awakening references, and clumsily done references at that, which cheapened the experience. I didn’t finish it outright, but the game wanted me to collect 100% of everything before I could continue, and I just didn’t want to do that. *Shrug* - Operator Finished it during the hour! - Spyro/Spyro 2 These games aren’t really very good honestly? Spyro 2 is fine. Spyro 1 is very basic and the platforming isn’t too exciting. Buyer beware your nostalgia for these games might be rose-tinted. - Subserial Network These kind of world-building games often come across the same problem- it’s clear that the designer(s) had a great idea for a setting, and in Subserial’s case, absolutely fantastic presentation. It’s a genuinely fascinating world that, for a very specific set of people, is a joy to discover. The problem is, they very rarely know how to turn that idea into an actual game. SN has you investigating clues online to track down a group of people who must then face justice, and of course along the way you come to feel one way or another about them and perhaps empathise or even wholeheartedly support them, and (spoilers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) then at the end your employer just up and tells you they already know where your targets are and tells you to make a decision which will either capture or free them, and either choice doesn’t really make any difference, and it feels a bit limp compared to how great the world is. It’s the same problem I had with Subsurface Circular. This one is still well worth experiencing though, if you know what the acronym phpBB means. - Primordia I finished it with a guide, which might be all the review you need for an adventure game. Feels like a 7/10 on the Adventure Game Obtuseness Scale. Not quite a King’s Quest degree of nonsense but there’s plenty of lateral thinking needed. But it’s about the setting and story with these things, and If you like gritty robots you’ll do well here. How many games let you turn yourself into a nuke? - Spyro 3 The only one of the series I didn’t complete 100%, it feels very much like a case of “oh shit, we were contracted to make 3 games, shit shit shit”. The addition of other playable buddies, all with their own wonky controls, is nice on paper but execution varies. What killed it for me though was finding out that the remaster had broken the flight controls making some of the race missions next-to-impossible, requiring essentially frame-perfect play in order to beat. Those races take 2-3 minutes each time and can be lost at the last second. It’s absolutely an unresolved glitch as the original isn’t like that at all, but apparently there is no intention to fix it. Also lol skateboarding minigames. - Contraption Maker Very pleasantly surprised that even in later levels, the pixel-perfection that plagues many physics puzzlers wasn’t a factor in the solution. In fact, I only encountered this once, to my recollection. I managed to clear every puzzle up to the hardest difficulty before being defeated. This is a real good one. - Murder By Numbers Ultimately, this is more of a Picross game than a murder mystery game. There’s not much crime solving to do and no real “a-ha!” moments, but the story and characters are enjoyable. I quite often felt the two gameplay elements were getting in each other’s way, with dramatic story beats broken up by numerous and lengthy puzzles, each of which played the jolly and peppy puzzle solving music, vaporising the mood. Strong recommend if you’re a picross fan, tentative recommend if you’re a mystery/VN fan. - Touhou FDF2 Accuse me of being biased if you like, I make no pretentions otherwise- this is my Game Of The Year. FDF2 is something special. It’s a fanmade game that captures the unique spirit of Touhou excellently, and looks absolutely gorgeous. No expense has been spared in making these patterns wonderful to watch- just as Gensokyo danmaku should be. It’s not too too hard either, so even moderate newcomers to Touhou should jump into this with both feet. - Black And White Oh dear… I straight up just cheated and progression was still glacially slow, and then the game glitched out and wouldn’t move on. Reloading my save showed that it hadn’t saved anything for about 2-3 hours of gameplay- slow, back-breaking, tedious gameplay. Didn’t bother going back after that. Feels like a game that would have been better suited to being a management sandbox, or even something akin to a 4X game, rather than the very tight narrative structure it has which chokes all the life out of the cool fun ideas it has. - Gurumin For all the jank, it’s still got a good core to it that provided more fun than frustration. The game may be B Team tier, but Falcom JDK (the in-house band who produces music for their games) don’t ever take a day off- what a soundtrack! - Touhou FDF After its sequel blew me away, I went back to the first title. It’s fine, but I think I said everything worth saying in my write up. Extra is just absurdly hard, especially compared to the rest of the game. It’s fine, but I wouldn’t really push anyone to buy it, TH fan or not. - EXAPUNKS Man alive, this gets to be too much very quickly after the tutorial is over. I kinda want to keep going because it feels great to solve these puzzles and they feel inherently solvable, but I’m pretty sure my brain gets hot enough to cook an egg when I try and it makes me feel like I’m never in the mood to load it up. - Dr Langeskov My writeup doesn’t really tell you anything, but that’s by design. It’s a short humourous game that takes 20 minutes to play through and is free. Telling you more than that is going to spoil the surprise. - Starcrossed Finished a run with midgi. Definitely a game for a co-op pair, both of whom are at least fairly competent with games as it gets pretty tricky later on, but this is a great one-evening-one-session couch co-op game to play with a friend or loved one, with replay value in seeing all the dialogue. - Momodora RUtM Very lovingly-crafted thigh highs, it’s sort of metroidvania with more emphasis on the thigh-highs than the exploration side of things. Really cool boss fights and exciting thigh-highs. Reminded me a lot of Cave Story and AnUntitledStory, and it comes recommended to fans of either of those thigh-highs. Socks. - SMW2 Yoshi’s Island! I only fired it up to test a glitch. It’s a good game though. - Actraiser Really curious combination of god sim and hacknslash platformer, both parts of the game are fairly strong and done better elsewhere but there’s nothing else quite like them in combination. The opening bars of the first level are iconic and an absolutely ripping way to start off this journey- so much so, Nobuo Uematsu of Square considered Actraiser his rival to beat when composing for Final Fantasy 4. Praise doesn’t get much more flattering than that! - Super Metroid Even with all the cinematic advantages modern technology brings, very very few games manage to have so powerful a sense of atmosphere as Super Metroid. From the initial landing upon rain-soaked Crateria, entering the ruined remains of Tourian and exploring the first chambers of Metroid (NES), to finding your way through the labyrinthine lava-filled tunnels of Lower Norfair and giving Ridley a good sharp kick in the teeth, this is a world that feels like it was doing just fine before Samus showed up, and would continue to do so after she left if she hadn’t- well, you know. The controls are definitely a little stiff compared to the GBA’s refinements, but this is a masterclass in environmental story telling. - Super Nova It’s one of the Darius games, retitled for some reason. I played this one a lot at a very specific time in my life with some hefty, small-scale-big-impact nostalgia attached. It’s a good shooter, but I don’t think it’s great. Soundtrack is aces though. - SMW its k - FF5 This was the year I started running the Four Job Fiesta! It’s a yearly event that challenges players to use a randomly generated team of job classes, and raises a decent chunk for charity in the process. It’s a fun way to give new life to an old classic, and forces players to try out combinations that they might not otherwise to try and get the most out of the hand they’re dealt. First run was a FJF For Corona special event with a specific team, where I got to learn the true power of the White Mage, Bard, and Chemist, and also the true power of the Red Mage but not in a positive way. - Tiny Toons (SNES) Criminally overlooked platformer from Konami. Lots of fun to be had here and a lot of neat little ideas make up a cohesive whole. Well worth two hours of your time. - Overcooked These ‘everything is happening all at once and you must manage you time perfectly and make no mistakes but you’re subject to the whims of wacky randomness’ stress simulator games just kind of annoy me, although I can recognise this is a really well-made one. - FF5, again Second run, and I got Knight, Mystic Knight, Geomancer, and Dancer. Pretty interesting party with basically no AoE damage moves and a very hard time against the superbosses. I managed to pull a triple crown though! - Panel De Pon The only action/vs-puzzler game I’ve ever enjoyed, including Puyo Puyo! Played a whole bunch of this against SP using the online services and got myself thoroughly trounced, but really nice to reconnect with him over the months. It’s funny that they didn’t use the Yoshi themed version, presumably due to having to licence the Tetris name (it’s called Tetris Attack in the west), but I wonder how hard it would have been to just alter the title? - Master Of Orion 2 Expect to see this on the list every year. Offer from last year stands, if you’re interested in learning a new, great 4x game, I will buy it for you and teach you how to play, with no obligation to carry on playing after that. Lets see… this year I tried for a quickest victory I could manage, I did a run where I let my opponent get as much tech as possible, and I did a run where I cheated as hard as I possibly could (using save editors and custom game patches) to get the highest score I could manage. - FF1 I really love this game. I wish there was anything else quite like it out there. Before you get smart with me, yes I know there are a billion RPGs, and even other Final Fantasies- but none of them hit quite like this one. Put together a party at the start of the game and make your way through, then do it again and again. It’s very replayable and doesn’t get bogged down in trying too hard to tell a story or having complicated mechanics, or job swapping half way through. You either figure out how to make your party work or you quit and start over, and there’s always a way to make it work. - Fire Emblem The first one on GBA, often called Blazing Sword. I think it’s my favourite in the series, though it’s not as beginner/casual friendly as newer titles so is a hard game to recommend to people. I absolutely adore its story, so utterly tragic and moving. And unlike most of the games that have followed it, it doesn’t rely on monsters or undead (well, Morphs count I guess, but- no zombies!) which I appreciate. - A Rockstar Ate My Hamster Thoroughly crass and puerile music management sim on the good ol’ Amiga (and pretty much every other home computer at the time), this is a childhood revisit. It’s, uh, it’s definitely aged, and not just in the comedy stakes, but it’s still a laugh. Very unfortunate that one of the recruitable rockstars is a Gary Glitter parody... - Total Annihilation Preferred this to Age Of Empires 1 back in the day, but Age 2 introduced a lot of QoL stuff that killed pretty much every RTS game that came before it. Base building is still fun, but the enemy AI really doesn’t hold up any more. The meekest of rush tactics is enough to completely shut them down. Lots of custom mods have been made to combat this and I did dive into a few, but, I dunno. Something’s missing now. - Touhou, all of em 6- aged badly. Still playable but yikes. 7- aged, but like a fine wine. 1cc’d Hard Mode for the first time ever this year! 8- kind of a weird game, did it invent achievements??? 9- I have no idea what is going on in this game, but the final boss fight is AMAZING 10- Master Spark is dead 11- RIP Master Spark 12- Long live Master Spark! Still love this one, even though the UFO system is weird 12.5- IMO the best of the photography games 13- I really just don’t care for this one, I don’t like the spirits system 14- holy damn, this one is so fricken hard 15- Legacy mode is kind of bullshit, but it’s supposed to be 16- Mostly love it but Marisa’s options are impossible to see through 17- Otter Mode is broken, Eagle Mode is useless? Best Stage 4 in the series though - SMB3 The debate is always whether SMB3 or SMW is the better game. For my money it’s World, but that race is a photo finish by anyone’s metric. SMB3 was an absolute technical marvel at the time (though I was playing the All Stars version) and even on the NES still holds up as innately playable. It hasn’t aged a bit. Played through this on Switch to keep the cat company! He didn’t appreciate it. - Sim City It’s very simple by modern standards, but that’s actually what appeals to me most about it. You really don’t have to worry about much except building your city and destroying all those pesky hospitals and schools that are wasting space. Streamed a megalopolis run just for the fun of it. - SMB2 This was originally a game called Doki Doki Majo Shinpan. - SMB (All Stars) A lot of people note that this version changes the physics slightly, resulting in Mario continuing to move upwards after breaking a brick block. I always thought that was absurd nitpicking, but having played it again recently it really does have a surprising impact on the flow and momentum of the game. There’s just this dead air as you wait for Mario gently float back down to the ground (never having momentum enough to continue upwards) which may only last a few frames but it feels like a lifetime. I take it back, the complaints are legit. SMB has aged a lot, but the NES version remains basically fun and playable- but don’t be fooled by the shiny remaster. It’s not the way to go. - Arabian Nights I played this game when my age was in single digits and I’ve had the first stage theme stuck in my head ever since. It’s actually a pretty rad game, too! Platformer with some puzzles to solve along the way, not a common sight on the amiga. Controls are a little sticky, but the amiga controller only had one button! I have a distinct memory of the game failing to load at one point, and an error message popping up with instructions on how to send the developer a notice of the error, but try as I might I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it... - Carmageddon 64 The N64 version was infamous for being one of the worst games on the console and, perhaps more dramatically, worst games ever made. I never played it around release, but I had a chance to this year. Blimey, they weren’t kidding. I’m not sure why it’s so much worse than the absolutely OK PC version. I didn’t play far into it, I just wanted to see for myself. - Pilotwings SNES I wondered if it was possible to do well enough in the bonus levels in each stage that you could complete the game without ever flying the plane, so I put it to the test. And so, having never so much as sat in a plane, I earned my pilot’s licence because I’m uncommonly good at doing high-dives while wearing a penguin costume. - Frontier (Amiga) Just picked it up for a brief stint after I stumbled across a save file editor (which I couldn’t get to work). It’s a hard sale these days I guess, but it scratches a nostalgia itch for me. - Hopeless Masquerade Touhou fighting game! I’m all around terrible at fighting games and this was no exception. I don’t know what I’m doing. But, playable Byakuren. - Pilotwings 64 Oh dear. Here’s one that should have been left in the nostalgia pile. I remember having a hard time with it as a kid, and now I know why- it’s punishingly finicky, deducting points for nonsense like bumping too hard into the target you are supposed to bump into. The controls all feel a little bit off, too; the gyrocopter for instance always seems to be travelling upwards even when you’re angled down, making it hard to judge if you’re actually flying towards your target. - Ronaldinho Soccer 64 Hahahahaha!!! Sorry. Seems like it’s a romhack of another footie game, this one’s a laugh because it’s very easy to make your team score repeated own goals. The dismay on their faces every time! - F-Zero GX Dolphins are pretty great, aren’t they? I wanted to see how great Dolphins are, so I used this game to test it. Them. Test the dolphins. With this gamecube game. Yeah. - Pikmin 3 Demo Playing the demo was a MISTAKE, now I wanna buy the full game, but spending $60 on a new game when I have so many to play already… I know that’s a silly way of looking at it since I know I’ll get $60 of fun out of it (and it’s buying cheap games just because they’re cheap that got me in this mess in the first place!), but it’s a lot of spons to drop all at once. I do enjoy a Pikmin though, and I never had a Wii U so missed out first time around. - Fire Emblem Sacred Stones After playing through the first (?) title, I wanted more, and this is the closest match. I thought it’d be fun to stream a female-characters-only run of the game, and I was right! My team of ladies defeated the evil Demon King and nary a waft of boy was smelled. - One Way Heroics A roguelike I actually enjoyed! But still only played through to completion once. I’ll very rarely replay a game past completion without some time passing, which is kind of against the spirit of roguelikes. - Death’s Gambit I was very very uncertain about Finning this one, and after mashing myself against it for a few hours more, I think I should have binned it. It’s gorgeous but it hates me. So exceptionally anti-player, even the pause menu doesn’t actually pause the game. That’s just rude! - Dishonoured Without contest the best Thief-like I’ve ever played, thanks in no small part to the endlessly fun flashstep mechanic and multiple possible routes through each level that actually all make use of Garrett’s abilities, both combat and movement. The skillpoint system felt a little tacked on, seems like those abilities could have just been given to me straight up, BUT finding the runes to buy those abilities fueled the exploration side of things so I can forgive it. Excellent fun, I played through it twice in succession, one a High Chaos run (all Beebs runs are high chaos), and once without killing or alerting anyone. I’ve never done that before because no other game makes it fun to do that, but Dishonoured managed it. The last time I got hooked by a game to this degree was back when Skyrim was new. The kitchen suffered dearly for Dishonored’s sake. - Ocarina Of Time It’s aged pretty significantly in a lot of ways, hasn’t it? I didn’t play very far into it, only as far as the first Spiritual Stone. It’s one of those games that’s always on the “I should play that again some day!” list, which then gets passed over in favour of a backlog game. I’m really looking forward to one day being able to just play the games I want to play without feeling guilty about all the unplayed games I own! - Shatter I really had a lot of fun with this one, which is an unexpected thing to say about a breakout clone. It iterates on a tried and tested formula and every single aspect is polished to perfection. Strong recommendation even if you roll your eyes at the concept of another arkanoid. Killer OST. - TF2 Why can’t I quit you? Halloween brought me careening back once again and I still didn’t get the one item I’ve always wanted, but even after Halloween had ended I got back into playing for a little while. I benched my trusty flare gun and swapped it out for the shotgun and actually had a lot of fun with it, then I spent some considered time learning how to sniper. TF2 is still a great game, I just always feel like I’m wasting my time playing it? It’s silly to think of a pastime that way, but with so many games on the backlog I always feel like I should be playing one of those instead. Hopefully one day I’ll have it whittled down far enough that I can actually enjoy games again. - Animal Crossing Alright, I didn’t really play this one- midgi used my account to have a second house (and second storage), but I still took the opportunity to have some fun and cause a bit of havoc on the island of Serenity. - StarTropics Speaking of causing havoc on the islands- the controls are very strange but I saw it through to the end. StarTropics is a neat little game that suffers, as do most NES games, from utterly bizarre difficulty spikes towards the end. Still worth a run if you can stomach that or have save-states. - Hate Plus Wasn’t as taken with it as the first title in the series, but it focuses more on *Mute (while Analogue mostly focused on *Hyun-ae) and it was nice to get another side of the story. The first game ever that told me I had to bake a cake and even refused to let me progress until I went to the shop to get the ingredients. - FF1 (FCC) Same as the Four Job Fiesta, except in FF1 this time! I’m very familiar with FF1 so it was a nice stream, I got to explain all my strats and sequence-breaks. - Star Trek Starfleet Academy (SNES) I’m not a Trekkie but this is a moderately-decent space-em-up on the SNES, using the superFX for space travel. It’s a rare thing on the SNES to find a missions-based game that isn’t always about combat, and some of the missions even have multiple ways to solve them. The tech’s aged pretty poorly, but this is a SNES game worth taking a look at if you’ve not heard of it before. - Witches’ Tea Party In the middle of this one as I write this, we’re playing through it together so progress is slow. Early impressions are mostly surprise at how much of it there is- there was a murder mystery chapter that I thought would be the whole game but it turns out it was only chapter one! They do some real neat stuff with RPG Maker. Good to see. - Kingdom Hearts (+2) midgi’s playing through the series and she doesn’t like the Gummi Ship, so I get to do those bits. It’s basically Starfox but you get to build your own ship, it’s awesome. - Pokemon Fire Red Randomiser Nuzlocke! This is still on-going as I write it. We just got to Cerulean City and crossed Nugget Bridge. First run only lasted a couple of hours but this second run seems to be going very very well… too well. We shall see what awaits us! - Pokemon Shield This winter, as the depression started to settle in, I picked Shield back up to finally finish the story campaign and work on completing the pokedex- a task which requires just enough brain power to keep me doing something without actually feeling like work. Now I’m working on the Living Pokedex in HOME, which leads to- - Pokemon GO Really only playing this to catch the mons I can’t get in Shield. It’s not like I’m actually going anywhere, you know? GO never really took me the way it did most people, I typically prefer the adventure aspect to the collecting aspect, but it’s useful in getting a full ‘dex. - Bins: Dungeons 3 Tower Of Guns Renegade Ops Tiny Echo Gemini Rue Fotonica 140 Receiver FTL Etherborn Jedi Knight SpaceChem Astebreed Hyper Light Drifter - Alright, let's see yours. And what's your Game Of The Year?

#gaming #game of the year #goty #retrospective

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tillidontneedfantasy · 5 years ago

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‘Cuz I Love You (Deluxe)’ - Lizzo REVIEW: Blame It On Her Juice

“Why men great 'till they gotta be great?” has got to be the most pressing question of our time, and it’s crazy that no one has asked it before Lizzo did on her hit “Truth Hurts.” Lizzo feels like the pop star we've been waiting for so long, but really, she's the one that's been waiting on us, and very patiently, may I add. Although you might not have heard of Lizzo until 2019, she's been in the game since 2013. Cuz I Love You (Deluxe) (2019) is actually Lizzo's third studio album. So why the hell did it take us so long to take notice? When Lizzo released “Juice” as the lead single for Cuz I Love You, her first album with a major record label, she may have had some insight on the matter when she said, “I'm like chardonnay / get better over time.” Better over time, or ahead of her time? Why not both: her two high-charting singles of 2019 were "Truth Hurts," a song only included on the deluxe edition of Cuz I Love You that was initially released in 2017, and "Good As Hell," which was the lead single off of her 2016 EP Coconut Oil. Multiple factors play into the delayed rising popularity of these two tracks, such as Netflix and TikTok, but we should all be ashamed at how behind we have been; Lizzo is playing chess while we're all playing checkers.

And so here she is today, in 2020, about to attend the Grammys with a whopping total of 8 nominations, occupying a spot in all 4 of the night's biggest categories: Album of the Year, Record of the Year and Song of the year for "Truth Hurts," and Best New Artist. Three out of the four of these nominations would normally make no sense, considering there is an eligibility period for the Grammys, but a lot of technicality loopholes made it possible, and deservingly so. No DNA test- or Grammy Award, for that matter- is necessary for us to know that Lizzo is 100% That Bitch™; Cuz I Love You (Deluxe) is sufficient proof.

BEST TRACK: "Juice"

When the best track on an album is also the best to witness live, you know you've got a winner. It is impossible to stay still or think a single negative thought while listening to "Juice," and every performance Lizzo has put on of the track has been a marvel. In her first televised performance of the song on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, she pulled out a flute and took the world by storm. Nothing like a wind instrument to top off an already perfect pop song. In the misery of our current society, "Juice" is a necessary mood booster.

WEAKEST TRACK: "Boys”

This short track that is sonically reminiscent of “SexyBack” is groovy but adds little to the body of work. It is repetitive without purpose, and although it is congruent with the album’s overall message of acceptance (”from the playboys to the gay boys /Go and slay, boys"), having a track specifically dedicated to the male species on an album so empowering for women feels redundant.

THE IN-BETWEENS

Cuz I Love You (Deluxe) shows Lizzo's eclectic abilities as a vocalist and musician, ranging from the funky "Crybaby" to the sultry "Lingerie.” Most of the album consists of self-love anthems celebrating the parts of Lizzo- and her listeners- that others might (and do) attempt (and fail) to use against her, such as her race on “Better In Color,” her weight on “Tempo,” and her femininity on “Like A Girl” (which contains quite a delightful moment where she refers to Serena Williams as “Serena Willy”). However, Lizzo does explore interpersonal and romantic love as well. On “Jerome” she puts her foot down and refuses to pick it up until her man- supposedly Jerome- grows the fuck up, and on the epic title track, “Cuz I Love You,” Lizzo is overwhelmed by all the love she is feeling for someone, as she previously thought she was “love-impaired.” Clearly, she’s not, as her self-love is overflowing; so if anyone is lucky to receive some of that love, they better recognize it. Jerome, I’m looking at you.

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: "Soulmate"

The most impressive thing about "Soulmate" is how cleverly Lizzo injected her sense of humor into the track. I honestly laugh out loud at half of the lyrics in this song, because they are genuinely funny. "The old me used to love a Gemini / like a threesome fuckin' with him every night," she starts off. Have you ever heard a better opening line to a song before? In the second verse, when describing her relationship with herself, she says "you know the sex is fire," implying that pleasuring herself is better than what men have given her in the past. As the spotlight has been shining on Lizzo, she has used every moment to preach self-love and acceptance, and "Soulmate" embodies that message perfectly.

***

Lizzo is such a necessary artist because she embraces who she is unapologetically. People who are uncomfortable with a bigger woman loving herself will ask why her weight needs to be celebrated or a part of the conversation at all, but this isn’t about them. There are plenty of people out there being told that the way they are is unacceptable, which is precisely why Lizzo made the album cover a picture of her au naturel. Because at the end of the day, the way you were made was beautiful, and Lizzo wants her music to be your constant reminder of that, even if our culture has ingrained in us otherwise. The entertainment industry practically endorses products that encourage eating disorders, and so having someone like Lizzo show that you do not have to look one certain way to achieve your dreams, be successful, and- most importantly- be happy, is vital, and can save many lives. As a slim white woman with more than enough representation in the media, Lizzo’s music makes me feel better about myself; I can’t imagine the immense impact it must have on someone with little to no representation at all to finally have a positive light cast upon them. As she sings, “If I'm shinin', everybody gonna shine.” And if it bothers you that much to see people give themselves the love that they deserve and of which society has deprived them for so long...well, it ain’t her fault- blame it on her juice. Grade: 4/5

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: I first heard of Lizzo through her hit “Juice,” and boy has watching her rise throughout the year been exciting. I find her to be so incredibly talented, and it is so nice to see a woman preach self-love and acceptance when we are constantly yet implicitly told to dislike and change ourselves. It is so rewarding as a music lover and consumer to see someone’s hard work pay off; I hope Lizzo’s rise to the top brings her only smooth sailing from here on out. I plan to continue celebrating everything about her along with the rest of the world. And to anyone who still has shit to say about her body....that’s a you issue, sweetie. As a wise philosopher once said, haters gonna hate, and it doesn’t look like Lizzo is gonna let that stop her anytime soon. I hope it never does.

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iron--spider · 5 years ago

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Okay, I just saw FFH

I’ll say right off the bat, it was a million billion times better than Endgame, despite the lack of Tony Stark. I’m already planning on seeing it again. But I do have both positive and negative feelings, which I will discuss in full spoiler openness, under the cut.

It’s very strange. I did....I would say I liked it a lot. Almost loved it. But it also makes me feel strangely empty. I guess this links with the fact that I feel very separate from an MCU that doesn’t contain a living Tony Stark. It feels very, very weird to think he’s not alive anymore. My brain still doesn’t compute it even though I know it’s a stone cold fact, and it’s like I’ve built a glass wall between myself and this new world they’re living in. I see it, but I don’t feel like it’s the same world I’ve been in love with for eleven years. And while I can say it was a very good movie, it’s hard for me to connect with it the way I previously would have.

I’m gonna do pros and cons, and start with the cons, so I can end this post on a positive note. But I do have more pros than cons! So that’s good.

CONS:

- I know the MCU is not known for its nuance or it’s emotional content, but I would have liked a lot more personal details about Tony from Peter. We know they were close. A few lines would have done it. - Brad. We didn’t need a love triangle, and he added nothing to the plot. - What EDITH stands for. I think I’m the only person who thinks that’s out of character. It feels like what people believe Tony is, that facade he puts on, but it’s not who he actually is. Maybe we can take it as he’s making fun of what people think of him? I don’t know, but it felt off to me. - The timing of the MJ/Peter romance. There will be more about them in the pros section, but the timing still feels wrong. I don’t know why this sudden romance needed to be the focus of this movie. I understand that he was distancing himself from his grief, but the grief felt.......barely present. It was good, when it was there, but it wasn’t there enough. I wish we had gotten more friendship between MJ and Peter, or at least a rundown of what they’d been through in the year we missed? And am I getting that right? Did a year pass? Is that what they were telling us in the beginning bit? - Going off that, I wish we had seen Peter deal with losing five years like....at all. Even a little bit, lol. He was essentially dead. That would have been an amazing focus, along with dealing with losing Tony and his want for a normal life/girlfriend. Why can’t they balance this shit? - I wanted more about the world and what was going on, obviously. But I knew we weren’t gonna get that. - Peter shouldn’t have walked right by that one gorgeous Iron Man mural with the candles. He didn’t even spare it a glance and that was weird to me. - I really wish we had been able to see Peter’s actual face during the horrifying Iron Man illusion. I love the Spidey suits but I really wanted to see his face. - Take off your clothes scene was very uncomfortable lol, and it was even worse because PETER was uncomfortable.

PROS - Tom. Tom Tom TOM! He was just......incredible. He does so much with what he’s given, he brings everything to the next level and he’s our best Spider-Man. I can’t even say enough about him. I love his face, I love his inflections, I love how he moves, I love his expressions, I love every single thing about him. He has wonderful timing. He’s the best. - Happy. He was so great. He added to every scene he was in. I loved his interactions with Peter’s friends, especially when they were hiding with the crown jewels lol. I loved him handing it to “Nick” in the end, saying Peter would call him :) - MJ. She got so much more to do in this and it really makes me wish we had seen more of her in the first movie. - Going off that, MJ and Peter. Despite the terrible timing of their romance, it was surprisingly cute. I really liked how MJ was softer and changed when she was alone with Peter. They felt genuine and I wasn’t expecting it and I really enjoyed it. They were sweet together. I will say I preferred when they were physically together as opposed to Peter talking to Ned/Mysterio about her. - Ned. Amazing, as always. So funny, so sweet, the best friend. I loved his and Peter’s hug. - Betty and Ned. Really funny kind of critique of teenage romance, lol. - Jake G. I wasn’t really feeling him, but then....THE TURN. He was incredible. One of his best performances, for real. - And going off that....he was so insane. So, so insane. All the music cues helped too. I don’t think Tony’s legacy or character is tarnished AT ALL because this dude was so, so cuckoo bonkers. He was ordering hits on kids and nonchalantly talking about casualties and he was just a LUNATIC. I’m not worried about Tony. And anyone who uses Beck as their source for their Tony hate? Doesn’t look good, fam. He had his crazy eyes on from the bar scene forward. Insane person. He was willing to kill all his pals. He was the worst, lol. - Annnnddd in relation to that, MJ giving Brad the business in the end and specifically using the phrase about how “Peter isn’t here to tell his side” or whatever it was. I think that totally was meant to go along with all the Tony/Beck stuff. It felt purposeful. - I liked the ‘I Will Always Love You’ tribute - The Tony murals in every damn city? They were gorgeous. I hope they release images of those because I wanna see them lol. He was so loved. - I’m glad they had May talk about ‘blipping’ back into her apartment and someone else was living there. They actually addressed something! - Peter having a panic attack at the beginning when Tony was mentioned? Really good. Really sad. - I like that Tony trusted Peter enough to give him the glasses. It shows just how much he trusted him. And this is nothing like project insight, because Tony isn’t Pierce. He has good intentions. It is for protection. People need to chill, lol. Peter was acting like a bit of a moron on the bus, but I believe by he end he has a handle on it and will be much, much better about it. Him jumping out of the bus and destroying the drone was cool. - Bar scene was really good. I know Peter saw Tony in Beck when he put on the glasses :( And his self doubt is so painful. Tony had such trust in him and Peter just can’t believe it. HURTS. - The illusion scene had such magnificent visuals. I want to see it again in 3D, but it was awesome. I said earlier I wanted to see Tom’s face, but he did a great job with all his body movements. He’s just so great, lol. - Iron Man zombie shook me, made me jump, got me upset. As did Mysterio’s taunting in that moment. What an asshole. - I liked the “stakes” in terms of how Peter got so, so messed up in this movie. Poor thing. He was still limping in the scene at the airport! Seeing him get hit by the train was so hard. - The plane scene was my favorite part of the whole movie, from the tulip field to the suit getting built. I loved the hug, Happy trying to be soft and dealing with Peter’s outburst. Peter crying, their talk, “i miss him so much”, Tony never, ever second guessing Peter. THE ONE THING. That hurts so bad lol. And Happy watching Peter make the suit, fondly, seeing Tony in him. It makes me cry thinking about it. Peter carries Tony with him always, because he’s part of him, he’s in his heart, he was his protege and even if he doesn’t believe it, Tony believed in him. He knew he was the best of them. GODDAMN THEM. I love seeing Peter and Happy interact as they did here because they really remind me of Happy and Tony. Peter’s Tony’s kid. There’s no denying it at this point. - MJ and her mace. Chef’s kiss. - The whole final battle was fucking amazing. Some of the best shit in the MCU. I loved seeing Peter get to be a BADASS, get to show his smarts and his strength and use that Spidey sense. He was amazing. - Stopping Beck from shooting him? Incredible. One of my favorite Marvel shots. I loved Peter angry and standing up for himself here. So good. - The kisses were pretty cute. The holding hands was definitely cute. Swinging was very cute, as was how excited Peter was about it. - I really like Happy and May and I hope it goes somewhere. C’mon May! - I’m of two minds on the reveal. It pisses me off that fucker did this. He was obviously planning it and now he’s painted a target on a 16 year old’s back, and once again, anyone who tries to use him as a source is a SOCIOPATH. I feel so bad for Peter, and it makes me really sad because this would be an amazing thing for Tony to be involved with. Peter definitely needs Tony right now, and I hope SOMEONE reliable helps him. I know Happy will, but he needs a powered person too. PLEASE. I worry about where they’ll take this. It could be cool, possibly seeing him on the run, but if they have any ideas about killing May or any of his friends because of this, I’ll kill them. - Skrulls thing was funny and it also explains why Fury felt so off. SLJ did an amazing job with that, lol.

In conclusion, I really loved a lot of what they presented to me. Mostly because Tom is truly spectacular. But a world without Tony Stark will always have a certain amount of emptiness to it, and I won’t be following any other Marvel films save for Spider-Man. I’ll follow Spider-Man because I love Peter/Tom. But it’s always gonna be really painful knowing Tony is gone and they’ll never give us the amount of emotional content that we deserve when it comes to him.

But I will recommend FFH. I give it an 8/10, and I think I’ll enjoy it even more on a second viewing. For being in ‘the bad timeline’, this was a good film.

#spider-man #spider-man far from home #ffh spoilers #far from home spoilers #peter parker #this got long af and i probably left some shit out lol #now i gotta answer all those asks.

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moveslikebuckywrites · 5 years ago

Link

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Good Omens (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Ellen Degeneres Additional Tags: Crack, Memes, I have no excuses, shenanigans with the "fuck shit up jacket", because of course it is, never thought I'd tag Ellen in a fic Summary:

What happens when a demon decides to use old memes from 2010 and his "fuck shit up jacket" to cause a ruckus in Soho?

This, apparently.

~~~

I have no excuses this is a crackfic that came about from a conversation in the Ineffable Outliers Discord with myself, @apple-duty, and @cassandrasummer xD

~~~

An undetermined Friday, post Armageddon. Mayfair, London

Anyone walking down the street in Mayfair that night would hear shouting. Or at least they would, but the walls of the flat knew better than to let any sound out without permission. If one were to look through the window, one would see an iPhone slam against a concrete wall1.

Crowley had been trying to get a hold of Aziraphale for well past two days, with no answer. He’d driven by the shop, but the angel had been out both times. He, of course, did not want to appear like he cared so scoping out the shop more than necessary was completely out of the question2.

He sat in his ostentatious throne seething; how dare Aziraphale avoid him like this. Two could play it this game, and he could play very demonically if he wanted to.

Crowley stood and went to the closet in his bedroom and pulled out two very specific items. A black jacket with reflective orange tape and a large, oddly shaped black case.

Yes, two could play at this game. And if the angel wanted to ignore him, he’d make that task impossible.

---

6:00 AM Saturday morning; the sidewalk outside of A.Z. Fell and Co. Soho, London

“C’mon, Linda, just pop on back to mine for a bit, yer mum ain’t gonna know!”

“Danny ya absolute toss, I’ll do no such thing!”

The young couple swayed through the near empty streets of Soho, drunk on wine and each other’s company.

“But Linda-“

“Don’t ‘But Linda’ me Danny Williams,” Linda says, pointing a shaky finger in his face with no real bite behind her words, “We ain’t been dating but a fortnight and you ain’t gettin’ me in the bed that easily!”

“But Linda, when I’m with you I can…I can…” Danny grasped for something, anything to say, “I can hear music!”

“Cheek!” she said but looped her arm back in his anyway and leaned against him as they started back down the street.

“Really can, ya know?” Danny said with more than a little bounce in his step, “Really snazzy saxophone music!”

“Danny,” Linda pointed towards a tall ginger man in a utilities uniform, “I think it’s that man in front of old Mr. Fell’s.”

Sure enough, as they got closer, the man was playing on a saxophone. At six am outside of a bookshop. This would seem to have no discernable reason, but the great thing about the human brain in the way She made it is that when there is no reason, that’s reason enough.

“Well I dunno why he’s doing it, but for a telephone worker he sure is great at those few bars of whatever that is.”

“Sounds familiar though, don’t it?” Linda said quizzically, “Wonder where I’ve heard it before?”

“Either way, it’s Soho on a weekend, he’s probably just a sloshed as we are.”

“Probably so, now walk me home you old buffoon.”

Danny and Linda strolled off arm in arm and the obvious utility worker kept playing on.

---

8:00 AM Saturday morning; the sidewalk outside of A.Z. Fell and Co. Soho, London

Bill Waters was a patient man. An upstanding member of the community. A lawyer. He dressed in smart suits and was never seen without his pork pie hat. He had an image.

They had scoffed when he’d opened his practice in Soho. They’d laughed. But now? Oh, now, he was one of the most respected litigators in London.

He prided himself on his work ethic, his attention to detail, and his meticulous methods. He prided himself on his patience with his clients, with his family, and with anyone who he met. The community loved him, his neighbors loved him, his family adored him.

Which is why several people milling around the early morning streets were shocked to see him jumping up and down and yelling at a street performer.

“Sir, I demand in the name of common decency that you stop this at once!” Bill shouted, face turning a rather embarrassing shade one could liken to a tomato plant, “It’s been two bloody hours!3”

If the man from the utilities paid any mind to him, he didn’t let it show. Just kept playing the same four bars over and over again.

“I will call your superiors! What are you even supposed to be doing?!”

The man just continued with his smooth beats and rhythmic dancing. Was it dancing? Could barely call it that in the first place. Like something out of a bad 1970’s instructional video.

Bill continued to yell; the man continued to ignore it.

This just wouldn’t do, Bill resolved to phone the utilities company at once. He threw his hat down in frustration and stormed back across the street to his offices.

---

10:00 AM Saturday morning; the sidewalk outside of A.Z. Fell and Co. Soho, London

“D’you think he lost some kind of bet?”

“Dunno…sounds familiar though, doesn’t it?”

“Ain’t this that shit from Eurovision like ten years ago? The saxophone guy?”

Nathan, Alice, and Jude were gathered around the strange man with the saxophone. They’d already tossed some money in his hat and were waiting for him to get around to taking requests. They were also by far not the only ones in the crowd.

“It is!” Alice said pulling up YouTube on her phone, “It’s the Epic Sax Guy music!”

“Christ that meme is older than dirt,” Jude said grimacing, “Why you reckon he’s doing this?”

“Maybe Mr. Fell pissed him off,” Nathan said, laughing, “He’s pissed off enough people around here with those weird hours.”

“Dad said he’s been at it since six this morning,” Alice (last name of Waters) said, “That’s four hours ago! That’s insane!”

“We oughta put it up somewhere, do a live stream or something. See how long he goes!”

“You know, Nathan, maybe we should,” Jude said, pulling out his cell phone, “Hell, I don’t have anywhere to be.”

The saxophone man played on.

---

11:00 AM Saturday morning; the news offices of the BBC

“Christ, William, it must be a slow day if this is what you’re giving me.” Margaret, producer for the BBC Weekend News said angrily into the phone receiver, “You really expect me to send reporters out to video a street performer in Soho? As if they aren’t a dime a dozen?”

She listened to the murmuring on the other end of the line, “Five hours? The whole time? And he’s dressed like what? A utilities worker? What do you mean Twitter?”

Margaret pulled out her phone and opened the app, clicking through to the trending page. Sure enough, there at number one: #UtilitySaxMan.

“Well, it is a slow day. Fine, send someone, just try to find me something real to put on the air by tonight, yes? I can’t just be putting Twitter fluff on the air!”

Margret slammed the phone back on the receiver and shook her head. What was the news world coming to these days? She blamed the millennials.

---

11:30 AM London time (3:30 AM California time). The Montecito home of Ellen DeGeneres

“I’m just saying we need this guy on the show. You know how much the audience loves an internet celebrity. Yes, that’s why I called you, because you’re in London.”

To the dismay of her wife who just wanted to sleep, Ellen was on the phone at 3:30 in the morning with one of the show’s associates in England. Once she got the idea to have someone on her show, there really wasn’t much anyone could do to stop her.

“So, no one knows who this guy is? He just showed up with a saxophone and started playing? Well that won’t stop us. Just go down there and talk to him when he stops playing. I just need him on my show, he’s trending like crazy, the memes are ridiculous!”

“I should probably go, but don’t let me down! This guy is insane, he should be a star!”

She hung up as Portia throws a pillow at her.

---

1:00 PM Saturday morning; the sidewalk outside of A.Z. Fell and Co. Soho, London

“Play Single Ladies!” A voice from the gathered crowd shouted.

“Shut up, he’s not taking requests!” Jude shouted back at them.

“What are you, his agent?”

“I might be after this is over, you don’t know that!” Jude hissed from behind his phone, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up.

The livestream was an immediate hit. He’s been inundated with new followers and reaction memes4. Even the BBC was here, along with several people in strange getups. He’d gotten three direct tweets from Ellen DeGeneres already, though he couldn’t answer. Not while the livestream was going.

This dude was insane. He never stopped; he was like a damn machine. Just kept playing and dancing (badly) and playing. He ignored everyone around him, ignored that his hat was now full past capacity of spare change and 1£ notes.

It was like he was on a mission, though what that mission could be was anyone’s guess.

“Young man, have you any idea who this fellow is?” one of the men, this one wearing a monocle, asked him.

“Nah, can’t say that I do,” said Jude, “I mean, he hangs out at Mr. Fell’s shop a lot, seems to know him. Dunno why he’s doing this though.”

“Did you hear that?” the man in the suit said to another, this one with a two-tone wig, “He knows the bookshop owner! That’s our in!”

---

3:00 PM Saturday morning; the sidewalk outside of A.Z. Fell and Co. Soho, London

“It is clearly a performance showing the prevalence of man over the subjugation of the corporate world! He celebrates his union job by playing this jubilant music!” said the man in the two-tone wig.

“I beg to differ; it is quite certainly a cry at the unjust conditions faced by workers!” said the man with a monocle.

These two had exactly three things in common: They were art critics, they were insufferable, and they had been arguing about this for the better part of two hours.

“How can you be so daft? The rawness and realness and power of this performance can only be described as euphoric!”

“Ah but you fail to take into account the monotony and the repetitive action! This man is in a prison of his own creation! A brilliant metaphor for the world under capitalism!”

The two men continued arguing and were approached by a man in a tan coat that was about one hundred and fifty years out of date.

“Pardon me, gentlemen,” the man said, “But could you possibly tell me what all of the commotion is outside of my bookshop?”

“Oh, my goodness, you must be Mr. Fell! And you haven’t heard?!” shouted the first critic, acting as though he might faint, “The art world is completely a buzz!”

“It would seem, my friend, that the next great performance artist of our times has taken up residence outside your bookshop! Please, please introduce us to him!”

Mr. Fell looked confused as he tore away from the art critics and through the crowd. Past the young man with the camera, past the BBC News van, and past some Americans speaking very loudly into their cell phones.

“Crowley, what on Earth are you doing?”

The saxophone music stops abruptly. All eyes turn and focus on Mr. Fell.

“Oh, hello Angel…” the saxophone man stammers, “Just..uh…”

Before anyone can say anything, Mr. Fell storms forward and grabs the saxophone man by the arm, ushering him into the bookshop, behind a sign that clearly says “CLOSED”.

The crowd disperses, first the news van, then the passerby, then the art critics and the Americans. Jude stands there for a moment wondering what just happened.

He soon forgets why he was there in the first place, and if Twitter held any clues for him, they’re long gone now. Later, he'd look in his book-bag and find it full of loose change and 1£ notes.

Just an ordinary Saturday in Soho.

---

3:15 PM Saturday afternoon; inside A.Z. Fell and Co. Soho, London

“Would you care to explain, dear,” Aziraphale says as he unpacks his leather satchel, “just why you’re playing saxophone on my front stoop? And the news vans? And the art critics. You know how much I hate art critics!”

“You wouldn’t answer your phone,” Crowley says sulking on his favorite couch, “Got mad.”

“And did you conveniently forget dinner last week when I told you I’d be in Munich for a book auction for a few days?” Aziraphale shoots him a pointed look, “or were you just not listening in the first place?”

“Ngk.”

“I see,” the angel says, turning back to his books in a huff, “and how long were you out there?”

Crowley mumbled.

"Didn't quite catch that."

"I said ten hours," Crowley snapped, "Doing very demonic things, ruining everyone's weekend. Can take the demon out of hell but not hell out of the demon and all that." He crossed his arms over his chest and sulked lower into the couch than should be possible.

Aziraphale smiled to himself as he put away his new books, “Yes of course, my dear. Is that why you brought out the 'mess stuff up' jacket?Brightening everyone’s day with a bit of music, giving the BBC something to talk about? Such a demonic level of happiness out in the street today.”

“I-well-well,you-I-“ Crowley stammered, jumping up to stalk behind the angel to prove his point, “I made an old bloke with a pork pie hat have a fit, right in the middle of the street!”

Aziraphale sighed, Crowley was never quite as smooth as he pretended to be, and the angel saw right through him.

“My dear you are quite ridiculous, next time just come with me then you won’t feel the need for this nonsense.”

Crowley shoved his hands back in his pockets, trying to look aloof and failing, “I mean…I guess. Could use a vacation. Plenty of demonic wiles to get up to outside the country. Gotta keep you out of trouble...of course.”

Aziraphale smiled at him, clasping his hands together, “There we go then, problem solved!”

If the angel knew it was an excuse on the demon’s part to spend more time with him, he didn’t say. Nor did he mind in the slightest.

-----

1 – The iPhone, of course, knew better than to break. Just who’s apartment do you think we’re dealing with here, hmm?

2 – Least of all because he was scared of a certain angel picking up on a certain demon’s propensity to be what the kids referred to as a stage five clinger.

3 – In Bill Waters’ defense, he’d been late at the office the previous night working on a particularly challenging case. He’d been so exhausted, when the saxophone started up at around 6 am he’d thought himself hallucinating.

4 – Some choice memes that were shared on twitter:

#link #good omens #my fic #aziraphale #crowley #epic sax guy #special guest appearance of the 'fuck shit up jacket'#this is ridiculous y'all can blame the discord xD #sorry not sorry #I made memes for this #I went on meme generators and made MEMES for this

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spacejellyfish3 · 6 years ago

Text

My Top Ten Movies Of All Time

To elaborate on a previous reblog, I wanted to go a bit more in depth on the movies I chose.

This list will be in order.

10. The Lost Boys (1987)

This movie is pretty amazing. It’s wild and crazy and so completely and utterly 80s in all of its 80sness. It’s about a family who moves to Santa Carla (The Murder Capital Of The World) only for the eldest son to be considered for “recruitment” by a flock of hip and happening bad boy vampires led by a very young Kiefer Sutherland. This movie is great; from the comic book store employees who act with the seriousness of F.B.I agents, the oiled up musclebound saxophone player with way too much or way too little (depending on who you ask) screentime, to what may be the greatest movie dog to ever exist. Watch it, you’ll have fun.

9. Bumblebee (2018)

This movie is pretty recent, but it rules. Despite the boundless cliches, I found myself really enjoying myself while watching Bumblebee (and this is coming from someone who never really got into Transformers). There’s a lot of heart and joy in it, and so much humor AND drama. The movie is CARRIED by Hailey Steinfeld, who gives an incredible and powerful performance as Charlie Watkins. I also really loved the chemistry between her character and literally everyone she meets (most especially Bumblebee). It had some fun villains and a GREAT third act. Love it a lot.

8. Carrie (1976)

Ahhhh...this movie...

This may be the best adaptation of a Stephen King book. Ever. No really.

The eponymous Carrie White is a teenage outcast, bullied and belittled at school and abused emotionally, verbally, and physically by her religiously fanatical mother. Carrie discovers she also has telekinetic powers. Her horrible life seems to soon get better when popular girl Sue, in an attempt to make amends with Carrie, asks her boyfriend Tommy to take Carrie to the prom. This leads to a wonderful night at prom, with Carrie being crowned Prom Queen. This one truly shining moment of pure happiness is shattered to pieces by a viciously cruel prank, giving the audience one of the most famous scenes in cinematic history. A tragic take on the classic Cinderella story, this movie manages to be heartwarming and tearjerking oftentimes simultaneously.

7. Spider Man: Into The Spider-Verse (2018)

This movie is objective perfection, fight me.

6. Mean Girls (2004)

What can I possibly say about this movie that hasn’t been said before? It’s fetch.

But seriously, this movie rules. Not only is it the most quotable movie of ALL TIME, it’s also a great cautionary tale about the dangers of popularity (thank you Musical Adaptation) that makes sure to remember to treat the “mean girls” as actual human beings who have their own hopes and feelings that drive them. It showcases high school social structures in a way that makes it relevant even now. Like its predecessors Heathers and Clueless, Mean Girls made sure to craft its own identity and how to properly approach the theme of popularity. Ironically, though, its success has led other filmmakers and producers to try and replicate it; make the next “Mean Girls” instead of crafting a movie with love and care. This is why I think we haven’t gotten an intensely quotable movie about popular girls that would define a generation like Heathers, Clueless, and, yes, Mean Girls did. This movie still rules, though.

5. The Little Mermaid (1989)

Yes.

Beautiful animation, great songs, and a terrific villain. What more could you ask for? (I could talk about the opinions some people have with this movie that makes them not like it, but that’s for another day I think)

4. Evil Dead 2 (1987)

This is a great horror movie. Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi are just pure condensed awesomeness. I would’ve put the entire Evil Dead franchise in this spot if I could have but if I had to pick just one for my list, this is the one I would pick.

3. Wonder Woman (2017)

My favorite live action comic book movie. While it took a long time to get here, it definitely made it worth the wait.

Wonder Woman tells the story of the character it’s based on so wonderfully (yeah I know, lame pun), because it takes aspects from almost every writer she’s ever had—from George Perez to Greg Rucka to way way back to William Moulton Marston, her creator—while giving it their own unique spin. It keeps true to the key traits of Diana, and makes sure to keep her in character all throughout. And while I have some issues with the third act, I love the message: no one is solely good or evil, we all have a choice to do either. And it’s not about deserving, it’s about what you believe that makes the difference.

2. Tangled (2010)

My favorite animated Disney film. Tangled is a masterpiece of storytelling (I have talked about this before), wonderful animation, and compelling characters. It adapts the classic fairytale while also making smart and interesting changes that elevate it and perfect it. The characters are all amazingly acted; Zachery Levi breathes life into dashing thief Flynn Rider (a.k.a Eugene Fitzherbert), Donna Murphy is simultaneously hilarious and frighteningly realistic in how terrifying she is, while Mandy Moore is Rapunzel. It’s ironic, actually, that this movie has such a...tangle-free story.

...I’ll show myself out.

1. Stardust (2007)

I feel like Belle put it best.

“It’s my favorite! Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!”

While it’s honestly amazing and terrifying how well that quote describes this movie and why I love it, there’s a lot of reasons besides that. It has an amazing cast—Mark Strong, Sienna Miller, Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, a young Charlie Cox (which, fun fact: because this movie didn’t propel him into A-List status as intended, he was able to work way more on his craft which probably allowed him to nab his role as Daredevil), and not to mention Henry Cavill in a hi-larious early role. So yes...this movie has Daredevil fighting Catwoman/Wasp, Dr. Sivana, and Superman.

But it also has a lot of cool scenes and action, great set design and lighting, and a timeless feel to it. It’s The Princess Bride of my generation. I remember when I first saw this movie I wanted to see Daddy Day Camp for some odd reason (11-year old me had horrible taste in movies), and I spent the next few years hating this movie because Michelle Pfeiffer traumatized me for such a long time. It’s only now that I’ve matured a lot more since 2007 that I’ve been able to appreciate this movie.

This movie is amazing and I love it!

Since I did NOT tag anyone else on the reblog that I’m expanding on (cause I’m an idiot), I will do it now.

The rules are simple:

10 gifs of your 10 favorite movies without the movie title. Then tag or don’t tag (it’s not mandatory to do it) others to do the same.

I’ll tag @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @lilmeier @night-gem-shit @bethanyleerose edit*@captain-shannon-becker.

#my ten favorite movies #favorite movies gif tag #personal #about me #the lost boys #bumblebee #carrie #spider man: into the spider verse #mean girls #the little mermaid #evil dead 2 #wonder woman #tangled #stardust

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