#the shit dean said to sam in this episode broke my heart in like 8 million pieces

[daughterofcain-67]

🅦hαt 🅞ncє 🅦αs 🅜ínє

(Dean Winchester x Reader)

(Part 2) (Part 3)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You and Dean have been close for the past couple of years but you have hunting with them for the past few. You notice that he has seemed off when he came back from Purgatory and all you wanted to do was help. After an argument breaks out- you leave for about a year with a secret you can’t afford to tell.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: some spoilers - some may be MAJOR spoilers, read at your own risk (seasons 6-8, I believe: MAY NOT BE ACCURATE), a brief mention of a night of intimacy but no graphic detail. This story does not follow along with any specific episode

Your heart raced with adrenaline from the last hunt you were on with the Winchester brothers. It was a tough one too and it didn't help that you had been worried about Dean the entire time. You had been with the Winchesters for the past three years. However, there was a shift between the two of you ever since he came back from Purgatory.

You noticed that he had become lost in a way - especially since Cass was gone. You knew that Purgatory was almost like a Hell for Dean since he seemed to feel a sort of guilt. But he wouldn't talk to you about it and you couldn't read his mind. You felt like you were drifting apart.

You remembered the night that Dean finally came back. You knew that Sam had moved on and tried to make a life for himself. But you couldn't move on so easily. You knew at the time he had just moved on from Lisa, then the job got busier and busier with the Leviathan. Then the next thing you knew he was in Purgatory for so long and you never got to tell him how you truly felt.

At least, not until the night that he finally came back.

You remembered the way he looked all roughed up after he came back. How handsome he was, but maybe it was just because you were just so glad that he was back. One thing lead to another and you ended up spending a passionate night together and it was a night you could never forget.

Even if at this moment you were trying so hard not to, especially considering the current circumstances you were in personally. For the past several weeks you were carrying Dean's child. You didn't know how to tell him and a part of you knew he couldn't handle it with everything going on.

"Dean, what the hell is going on with you? I know you went through a lot of crap in Purgatory, and I know you must be missing Cass a hell of a lot right now. We all do! But if you can't get your head on straight or at least talk to somebody, you might end up getting yourself killed one day because you can't focus!" You tried your best to explain.

"Don't act like you know how the hell I handle what's in my head, Y/N." He stated with a growl. "You don't know half the shit I've been through. You weren't there when I was in Hell. You weren't there when Lucifer took over Sam's mind. I know what I'm doing so why don't you stay the hell out of it!?"

"I can't stay out of it because I care about you! Sam cares about you! You know if Cass were here, he'd-"

"Don't you dare bring him up. You know, I should have just listened to Sam when you first came onto the scene." He said and rolled his eyes before he poured himself another glass of whisky.

"Listened to Sam? What was it that he said? Dean, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying you're nothing but a liability! You do nothing but get in the way! We should have never brought you on that very first hunt!" His words broke you to pieces. How long had he felt this way towards you? And everything you went through, did all of this mean nothing to him? You had done your best to be there for him and he just thought you were in the way the whole time?

You saw the instant regret on Dean's face after he said what he did but it was too late. You looked away from him and your eyes started to burn with tears that were starting to form

"Y/N, wait, I didn't mean-"

"Forget it, Dean. You want me gone, then I'll leave. I won't be in your way. You want to self destruct, fine. You have Sam to worry about you."

Then you packed your bags and left.

*************************************************

All of that happened about a year ago.

For a year you went through a pregnancy and a birth alone. You didn't have all of the answers. You didn't know how the hell you were supposed to take care of your little girl on your own. But you were doing everything you could by taking it one day at a time. That was all you could really do at this point.

Throughout the pregnancy you were working at a Walgreen's and you were living in a small apartment and trying your best to get by. You were doing well for the most part though. Better than living on the road and hopping from one hotel room to another.

Luckily, tonight you were able to have your day off. So you spent your time with your beloved daughter, Y/C/N. She had Dean's forest-green eyes and your hair color. She was only about three months old but you wanted to protect her from everything that was out there, especially since you knew what dangers were out there. If any demon, angel or monster found out there was a little Winchester- who knew what kind of horror would be after the last piece of Dean you had.

Once you had finished giving your baby girl her bath and gotten her dress on, you noticed some lights flickering in the room. That was instantly a red flag in your mind. Of course you knew all the ins and outs of hunting and keeping your home safe because of your experience with the Winchesters. And there were some occasions when it really was just a blown fuse and there was no sulfur left behind. But you were always cautious, and understandably so.

You held the baby close as you went to your room and you watched as the lights started to flicker again. You took the can of salt on your dresser and used your free hand to open it up and you put it on your windowsills, beneath the door, anywhere to prevent demons from coming in. And even if they did, you had a rug in front of your bedroom door that had a devil's trap beneath it so it wouldn't get to you or your daughter.

Suddenly, you hear your apartment door bust open and you start hearing all kinds of commotion like a fight was happening only for a demonic cry to be heard. You covered Y/C/N's ears and held onto her and you wondered what the hell was happening out there. Soon, though, you started hearing voices.

"I think that's all of them. Let's get back so I can be ready for work at the station by Monday." Was that Jodi? What are was she doing all the way out here.

"We have to see if she's here though. Who knows what can be out there looking for her." That sounded like Castiel. When did he come back? How did he come back!? Your mind was swirling with so many questions.

You slowly got out of the bed and walked over to the door. When you opened it you saw Cass and Jodi look towards your direction and you watched Jodi's eyes light up and a smile showed on her face.

"Y/N! You're safe! It's so good to see you." She said as she walked over and that was when she saw your little bundle of joy in your arms, "And who's this precious thing?"

"Jodi, Cass! It's really good to see you guys! This is Y/C/N. She's mu daughter." You introduced.

"Daughter? When did that happen? Do you have a boyfriend here?" Jodi began to ask and you shook your head at the last question.

"No boyfriend, and I found out about a year ago, and Half Pint here is three months. I've just been here trying to lay low so nothing finds us." You explained and you could feel the angel's gaze. When you glanced over, you knew he could tell what happened. And who knew what Dean told him when he came back. If he even went to Dean that is.

"Does Dean know?" It was an inevitable, and reasonable, question that you knew was bound to come up from Castiel. He knew of your feelings for the older brother, and he knew there seemed to be something unspoken between you two for a while before he went to Purgatory. Other than that, you didn't know if Dean filled him in on anything else.

"I didn't get the chance to tell him. I left after a fight we had. Something about how he shouldn't have let me tag along on the first hunt." You felt a soft hand on your shoulder and knew that it was Jodi.

"Why don't you both come and stay with me? It'll be a lot safer that way and at least you won't be on your own. Plus you wouldn't have to worry so much about monsters coming in without backup." The sheriff said and motioned to the salt on the windowsills.

You thought about it for a few moments and looked down at your daughter who was rubbing her eyes like she was tired. You had to think of what was best for her. You knew she didn't need a mom who was stretched thin with work then having to worry about hunting. It would be great to have the help. No one said that being a single mom was easy.

"Yeah, that would be great, Jodi. I appreciate it." You nodded

~

So much had been going on since you've left and it was like Sam and Dean couldn't get a rest. After Kevin took a Word of God from Crowley and have him translate the tablets to Sam having to complete certain trials that Dean knew he shouldn't be doing anyway. And that was the current thing on the Winchesters' agenda.

Too much has been going on and Dean was already getting so tired of all of it. There seemed to be no end to it but he knew he had to stay determined through all of it at least for his brother's sake. He's pretty much left behind the idea of retiring from this gig. He tried that once and of course the Apple Pie life fell through for him.

What sucks about it is that Dean didn't have you in his back corner anymore. You weren't there to be his 'new eyes' on a situation or bring some kind of positive to a situation. You weren't there to have little drinking competitions with him, remark on crappy television with him, you weren't there to take his mind off this job he was raised in.

And pushing you away was another item on his never-ending list of regret.

But of course, with all of the things he had on his plate and having to save the world yet again, he couldn't exactly showed just how much he had been thinking about you even if you've never left Dean's mind. And Sam knew it too.

Dean was sitting at one of the tables in the Bunker since that's where he and Sam have been living. He knew if you were here you'd probably make it a little more home-y. Lately he had been focusing on the trials that Sam had to face. He passed the first one but he knew this was going to take a toll on Sam. If he could trade places than he would, but Sam could be just as stubborn as Dean sometimes.

Dean looked over at the bottle of whisky before he picked it up and poured himself another glass before he opened up his laptop to do some research outside of these books. The first trial that Sam completes was bathe in hell hound blood. The next one was saving a soul from Hell. The final was to cure a demon and that would be a whole other ball game when the time came up. One thing at a time. He wasn't sure how his brother was supposed to do the next trial but he knew that Cass said Sam's health would decrease almost at a subatomic level.

While Dean was deep in his thoughts of this trial business, his phone started to ring unexpectedly.

Dean glanced over at his phone and saw Jodi's name and picture show up on his screen. An odd surprise since it's been a while since he had heard from her but he picked up the phone wondering if something was wrong and she needed some kind of help.

"Jodi? What's up?" He asked and took a sip of his whisky before setting the glass down on the table.

"Dean? It's Y/N... we need to talk."

Thank you all for reading!

This is my 1st mini series for Dean Winchester so thank you for taking am interest in reading this! If you liked this little story please feel free to comment or like it! Especially if you’d like to see a second part to this story to see if the reader will tell Dean about their daughter in the midst of what’s going on. 🖤

Tag List:

@chriszgirl92 @wildernessflora

[rosemariad]

Supernatural Season 9

Sam oh noooooo 😥😭

He really said lemme die in peace. But Dean won’t let him go.

OML the forces of Heaven and Hell really fucked up this man’s life.

Kevin survived season 8 - woo! I know he not gonna make it to the end tho 😑

Charlie’s still around too, but is she gonna make it to the bitter end 🫥

Crowley’s locked up - its about time honestly. He is long overdue for some karma after what he put poor Kevin through. I'd be happy about Abaddon giving him shit but she's no better.

I know Dean did not just kick Castiel out😣🤬without so much as money or food or any necessities.🤬🤬🤬🤬

Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeell noooooooo. That son of a bitch!!!!!! 😠😡🤬🤬🤬Poor Cas looked so devastated. Bendito. You could pinpoint the exact moment his heart broke in half.

Poor guy had to rough it on the streets all alone, you don't just do that damn. He could've just sent him somewhere to stay like a friend's or a shelter.

Sam was all dazed and confused he had no idea what was going on afterwards. Dean you can't keep lying!!!! This man is so dumb!!!!

Not the angel that saved Sam's life turning to be bad :/

UGH I hate Metatron he is the WORST! Why do people keep listening to such a jackass?! And what he doesn't have the stomach to do his own dirty work?

KEVIN NOOOOOOOOOOOO

KEVIN - you deserved the best of everything! This one hurt me the worst y'all 😨😢😭😭😭😭

Is Dean allergic to good decision making?!?!?!?!!? After his latest fight with Sam, he fucks off and AGREES to work with Crowley? After everything the son of a bitch put him through? I knew nothing good would come of this. Dean was actually surprised that Tess died - I mean she chose to break the demon trap when she knew herself it was a bad idea. Now Dean has to deal with the mark of Cain 😤

I did find it interesting that the show decided to put a twist on the famous Cain & Abel story and how it echoed Sam and Dean's story. But there was no angel for Cain when he sacrificed himself, or his brother Abel.

Who knows how many other pairs of brothers throughout history were put in the same position across time? Cain and Abel were among the first humans…I don't think since the dawn of human existence it was just Cain and Abel then Sam and Dean. Not for a second. Especially with what we learn later…

Man Dean just gets douchier and douchier. With everyone, even Sam and Castiel. My God.

Abaddon died…yay? That Crowley son of a bitch. First he fucks Dean up, shoots up human blood ….recreatively? And strands his son out in present day despite the fact he was just in 1723. Will we even see Gavin again?

Man I really do not care for Metatron, I cannot wait till he dies. I mean I guess he’s pushing the narrative forward some but jeez what a douche.

Dean died nooooo

Then he became a demon…NOOOOOOOOOOOO

And he’s gonna be with Crowley

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

While the Dean and Castiel scenes got some good stuff going - Cas losing his powers and becoming mortal - why couldn’t he be picked up? The way these guys constantly drive around the country: If Dean really wanted to assure Cas was safe from any avenging angels post fall, he’s only a car ride away 😔

Anyway, kicking Cas out was a douchey thing to do but it made for good drama. As did having the two reunite a few episodes later.

There’s also the apology scene and them working together on cases, but after Dean gets the mark of Cain and Castiel gets pulled back into the angel stuff, their stories detract from one another. Dean does see Castiel again towards the end of the season but by that point he’s totally affected by the mark and Castiel is once again mixed up in angel shit so he doesn’t really get any quality time with Dean for more than half the season. It’s a shame because Dean probably could’ve used more time with his angel friend, given what the mark was putting him through. Oh, well.

[touchstarvedsam]

Dean’s memories come back in waves.

I chose the King of Hell over you.

The things he did to Sam, the things he said.

He dreams about killing his baby brother, wrapping his calloused hands around Sam’s throat and squeezing the life out of him like he accused Sam of doing to him.

It’s your very existence that sucked the life out of my life.

He wakes up in a cold sweat on a shout of “No!” as he kills Sam for the hundredth time in his dream. He’s panting, heaving for breath, staring at his bedroom door as if waiting for Sam to come crashing in in a hurry at hearing his big brother’s shout. Sam won’t come. Just like yesterday, like the day before, and the day before that. It’s been a week since he tried to kill his little brother and he feels no less guilt now than he did then.

And what I’m gonna do to you, Sammy... well, that ain’t gonna be mercy either.

Sam brings him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Leaves the tray at his door with a knock and scurries off before Dean can get out of bed and swing open the door. He’s always seconds too late.

If Sam had a pattern, Dean would follow it. His little brother is smart, calculating. He doesn’t come at the same times every day. If Dean wants to catch him, he’s gotta leave his room for more than just to shower or take a leak.

Sam makes his coffee just the way he likes it, his eggs and bacon and toast all cooked exactly the way he prefers, sometimes grits instead of eggs, but he makes those perfect, too. Lunch brings different sandwiches each day -- Sam must have gone out for cold cuts and roast chicken -- which he serves with a can of Pepsi. Dinner varies daily, but it’s always served with a beer. Sammy knows him up and down, left and right, and Dean tried to kill him.

Dean tried to kill the one person he promised to protect.

Maybe I was just tired of babysitting you.

He chooses this time to wait by his door. It’s about lunch time, so he knows Sam will be coming... soon. He waits patiently and quietly. Focuses, ear almost against the door, for Sam’s footsteps. Sam’s been so quiet but Dean’s determined.

Then he hears it, the tray being placed on the floor. This is his moment.

Before Sam can even knock, Dean swings the door open quickly. Sam is in the process of standing up after placing the tray down. He looks both shocked and terrified, eyes wide in fear. He straightens up and pivots his body in an attempt to bolt, but Dean’s quicker. He’s always had fast reflexes. His palm, clammy from adrenaline, shoots out and grasps Sam’s way too thin wrist. Sam gasps and tenses, closes his eyes tight as if waiting for a blow. Dean feels as if Sam dealt a blow on him instead. His little brother is terrified of him. Dean has failed him.

Or having to yank your lame ass out of the fire since... forever.

“Sammy,” Dean whispers. If possible, Sam stiffens even more, mouth in a thin line, shoulders tense. Dean wants to punch himself, remembers tauntingly calling his little brother ‘Sammy’ when he tried killing him a week ago. “Sam,” he remedies. “Sam, come on, talk to me, kiddo.”

Sam lets out the breath he seemed to have been holding and doesn’t exactly relax but some tension seemed to have left with the breath. He opens those beautiful hazel eyes that Dean has missed so much, but still doesn’t look at him.

“I, uh,” Sam tries, throat rusty from disuse, Dean assumes. “I made you roast beef and cheese.”

“Sam...”

“Just... leave the tray when you’re done, like always, okay?”

He won’t look at him or say his name. Dean can’t take it anymore.

Maybe it’s the fact that my mother would still be alive if it weren’t for you.

He yanks at the wrist in his hand. Sam trips forward, just barely missing the tray between them on the floor, and falls forward into Dean’s chest. Sam tries to scramble away, pushing at Dean’s chest with his free hand, but Dean tightens his grip and pulls him the rest of the way into his bedroom. Sam’s eyes are closed again, squeezed tight, and Dean closes the door.

He presses Sam gently into the door, holding him at the shoulders to keep him still, keeping in mind to keep his left hand gentle against Sam’s injured shoulder. For the first time in weeks, he gets a real good look at his little brother, at Sammy. The kid’s lost weight. His shirts that usually cling to his shoulders and chest are loose, too big on Sam now. He can’t remember the last time Sam was this thin, maybe ten years ago when he first picked him up from Stanford. Maybe high school.

Sam’s breathing is shallow, labored, as Dean rakes his eyes up and down his body. He has yet to open his eyes again and Dean hates that almost as much as he hates Sam’s apparent eating disorder.

“You haven’t been eating,” Dean chooses to say.

He watches as Sam’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, says, “I’ve been eating.”

“Yeah?” he asks, unconvinced. “Then why do you look like you haven’t had a bite in weeks?”

“Let me go and eat your lunch,” Sam says instead of an answer, eyes finally opening.

“Nope, not today, kiddo.”

“D--” he cuts himself off before he can say Dean’s name. “Please. Just.”

“I need you to talk to me, Sam. Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself? How did you hurt your shoulder?”

“I couldn’t, not while you were gone, I--” he cuts off again, looking down at the floor between them. “I need time. Please.”

“It’s been a week, Sam. I need you to talk to me. How did you get hurt?”

Sam sighs, says, “Cas and I were following a lead... demons got the drop on us and, well, I took the brunt of it. That’s it. I’m fine.”

He presses gently, not entirely unkindly, against Sam’s injured shoulder and Sam draws in a breath on a hiss, then whimpers when Dean releases the shoulder completely. “Yeah,” he says sarcastically, “You’re totally fine.”

“I just need the sling a few more weeks, then I’ll be fine.”

“Sam, look at me.”

“Please just eat.”

Dean pulls him away from the door to open it, leans down to grab the tray, then closes the door again, locking it this time. “Get on the bed, Sam.” Sam doesn’t move, standing statue still. Dean repeats, “Bed,” rougher. Sam hurries to obey and Dean smiles humorlessly, following his little brother to sit beside him. He sets the tray on the bed. “I’ll eat, Sam,” he says, softer now, “If you share with me.”

Sam shakes his head, long hair flopping side to side. Dean wants to smile at him and tangle his fingers in that hair. He makes fun of it, but he loves it so much, would never ask Sam to get rid of it.

“I won’t take no for an answer, kiddo. You’ve been starving yourself and I need to fix it.”

“I’m not sta--”

He cuts Sam off with a finger on his lips. “It’s okay, Sam,” he whispers, “I’m gonna take care of you, okay? Just let me. Please.” He’s pleading, he knows. It’s unbecoming of him, but also something he really only does when it comes to Sam. He would do anything to fix his baby brother, if only he knew how to fix this. “I’m never going to hurt you again, Sammy.”

For the first time in a long time, Sam doesn’t flinch when Dean says ‘Sammy’. It’s a start.

[the-rad-pineapple]

substance abuse

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Supernatural fanfiction: Set in season 8, Sam and Dean get into a big fight, so Dean turns to alcohol to solve his problems.

Words: first 2k words are here, the rest of the 13k word story can be found on

ao3

fanfiction

wattpad

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I had a crazy depressive episode in January this year, and the only thing that brought me serotonin was Destiel. So the result was me not leaving my room for three days and writing the majority of this story on the notes app on my phone. I have some ideas on how to finish this, but I haven't had inspiration to continue since March. Maybe I'll finish it someday, but I hope you enjoy what's there. Thanks for reading!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean was finally in a good mood. The bar near their motel was surprisingly decent. It had good music, but it also helped that Dean had one too many drinks. So that meant everything was just a little funnier. He was well past the stage of being buzzed and dangerously tipsy. He and Sam had gotten into a little fight earlier, so he was solving it the only way he knew. Alcohol. He took another couple shots against his better judgment. Hey, the more alcohol he was drinking, the better his mood was getting, so why not?

He just finished setting his last shot glass down when someone sat down beside him. It was a guy around Dean's age with dark stubble and bleached blond hair beginning to darken at the roots. He had colorful tattoos swirling up his arms. They were pretty. The man turned to look at Dean, and the way he had to brush his hair from his eyes made Dean feel...something. He smiled playfully at Dean, and Dean felt his heart flutter.

You know what? Fuck it. He was having a good time, and this guy was hot. It had been a while since Dean had been with anyone, let alone another guy... Dean shoved that thought away and winked at the man sitting next to him.

The man raised a playful eyebrow as he took a sip of his drink, his eyes wandered down Dean's body. Dean felt his cheeks heat up, but he had enough alcohol in his system for the shyness to pass quickly in place of confidence.

"I'm Marco," the guy—Marco—introduced.

"I'm Dean."

"What are you doing here, Dean?" The way he drew out Dean's name made Dean shiver.

Dean shrugged casually. "Nothing much." He looked pointedly at Marco. "Looking for something fun to do."

Marco smirked. "Like what?"

Dean slowly looked down Marco's body. He was wearing a printed button-up shirt, with too many buttons undone, so Dean got a decent peek at his chest hair. He wanted to see more. Dean trailed his eyes back up to Marco's. "I'm looking at it."

Marco grinned. "Wanna drive back to my place for a bit?"

Oh fuck, was this really happening? He didn't picture his next time being with a stranger. With a guy, yes, but a guy with blue eyes and a trench coat.

"Yeah," Dean heard himself answer before he realized he had spoken. It was all happening so fast, and he could tell his grip on time wasn't exactly right. Maybe he was a bit drunk. But, did it matter? He was having fun and felt better than he had in a long time.

"I'll pay for your drink and we can go." Marco winked before grabbing the bar tender's attention and paying.

They were soon walking out the door. Dean didn't remember standing up, but they were suddenly halfway across the room. Dean also felt himself starting to stumble and grabbed onto Marco's arm without a second thought. Marco put his hand over Dean's as they stepped outside.

The cold air managed to make everything just a bit more clear. Dean's surroundings sharpened a little. Everything outside his direct line of sight wasn't just a haze now. It was just slightly out of focus instead. They stopped at an old truck. Dean tried to place the make and model, but the information was barely out of reach. It was fuzzy, and retrieving anything other than immediate thoughts felt like sifting through mud. But who cared anyway? He was about to get laid by some hot guy.

"Nice truck," Dean complemented. He did like it even if it was a bit plain.

"Oh, yeah?" Marco replied.

And before Dean really knew what was happening, his back was against the truck, Marco's hands on his hips. Hot breath hit his face before Marco's mouth was on his. Dean closed his eyes and let himself get carried away. The kiss was all tongue and desire. Dean grabbed Marco's hair, and he imagined he was kissing someone else. Someone with dark hair instead of blond.

Dean's head was spinning as someone's tongue was shoved down his throat and hands were underneath his shirt, touching every inch of his torso. He already had too much to drink, and now he was kissing some stranger outside. Or was it a stranger? He had envisioned kissing Cas, but that couldn't be right. Shit, shit, shit. Those last two shots were catching up. But now there was a leg between his thighs rubbing on him in all the right ways that took priority over everything else he was feeling.

"Dean."

It was Cas. And it was close. But it did not come from whoever he was kissing. He felt cold as he and—Dean glanced at who he was making out with, but the name escaped him—some guy broke away from each other. Dean looked in the direction of Cas' voice. The angel stood uncomfortably a few feet away. He glanced between Dean and whoever the other guy was. Dean was suddenly warmer as his embarrassment finally set in. He wished Cas hadn't caught him like this. With someone else when the only person Dean had been thinking about lately was Cas.

"I need your help," Cas said gruffly.

"Right now?" Dean asked, suddenly very aware that this guy's leg was still in between his, and his hands were under Dean's shirt.

"Yes, Dean," Cas answered, the annoyance in his voice was strong. "I wouldn't bother you otherwise."

Dean cleared his throat. Obviously. "Right." He glanced at the guy. "Sorry," he said sheepishly and pushed him away.

They disentangled themselves, and Dean made his way to Cas, trying to avoid eye contact from everyone. It wasn't too hard to stay embarrassed when Dean had to concentrate on walking in a straight line.

"What's up?" Dean asked Cas once he managed to find his footing. He ignored the sound of the truck's door closing, and its ignition. He was still disappointed even if it had been completely spontaneous.

"It's Sam."

Shit. Was Sam hurt somehow while Dean was out getting drunk? That was completely his fault. Dammit. "What's wrong? Is he ok?"

"Yes, he's fine," Cas said. "He just wanted me to tell you he left the motel."

Dean crossed his arms. Was that it? Seriously?

Cas went on, "He said you weren't answering your phone and asked me to see if you were ok. I called him when I found you."

"So, you're Sam's mediator now?"

"We were worried, Dean. You weren't answering Sam's calls." Cas' eyes bore into Dean's. There was a lot more anger in them than there should've been. Did something else happen? Did Dean do something? "I'm glad to see you're fine." Cas turned and took a couple steps away.

"Wait!" It was louder than Dean meant. He just had to get Cas' attention before it was too late, and time was moving fast while he was like this, so he wasn't exactly sure how much time had passed since Cas spoke.

Dean wanted to tell Cas that he and Sam had had a fight. And that was the reason why Dean had been so irresponsible. So stupid. So inconsiderate. But they were all excuses in the end, and trying to make thoughts into words seemed impossible at the moment.

Cas turned back. "Yes, Dean?" Cas tilted his head. Fuck. That was cute. "Cute?"

"Huh?"

"You said, 'that was cute'."

Oh my god, Dean had said that out loud. "Uh, yeah, I don't know." Dean laughed nervously.

He couldn't let Cas know he had...feelings...or whatever for him. That was something he buried deep down, but it was all threatening to come out. Shit. What was happening? Everything was still spinning, and things kept happening that took Dean too long to register.

"Are you okay?" Cas asked. The anger was gone, now replaced with concern.

"I'm fine," Dean quickly answered.

Cas' eyes narrowed in suspicion. That was also cute. Everything Cas did was kinda cute anyway, if Dean was being honest with himself.

"Walk over to me," Cas commanded.

Weird request, but ok. Dean frowned but walked in Cas' direction anyway. But walking was hard. Placing one foot in a steady position shouldn't be this much work. It felt more like tumbling from one step to the next, but Dean eventually made it to Cas. But he had struggled. A lot. Maybe Cas didn't notice.

"I noticed, Dean," Cas said.

Oh. He heard that, too. How much was Dean saying aloud? "I'm a little drunk," Dean admitted. Maybe this would absolve his behavior tonight, and they can go on like it never happened.

"You're more than a little drunk," Cas replied harshly.

"Are you mad?" The question was out of Dean's mouth before it was fully formed in his head.

Cas sighed heavily, but didn't look at Dean. "No, Dean, I'm not mad."

"Yeah! You are!" Oh, Dean totally had this. One of Cas' tells was avoiding eye contact. "You don't look at me when you're upset."

Cas looked at Dean wearily. "Let's go."

Cas started walking away. Quickly. Cas was somehow already by the sidewalk. Dean tried to catch up, but one moment he was following Cas, and the next he was on the ground. He didn't even remember falling. All he knew was he was now laying on the street looking up at the night sky.

"Dean!" Cas rushed to his side. Dean reached his arms up for Cas to help him up. Cas grabbed him.

"Sorry," Dean said and laughed. That probably looked funny.

"Are you hurt?" Cas frowned in worry.

Dean didn't feel anything, but he couldn't really tell. All he could focus on was Cas holding his arms. Cas was strong. "Oh, baby, don't worry. I feel great!" Dean said and grinned in reassurance. Wait... did he call Cas "baby"?

"Let's get back to the motel."

And then they were suddenly there. Dean laughed again and said, "I forgot you can fly."

Cas really was incredible. He was such a beautiful, strong angel. But also so cute at the same time. Dean saw his bed and tried to step towards it, but almost fell again. Cas' arm was around his waist. It felt really nice. Dean put both his arms around Cas. He was warm and smelled like rain. He was like a strong fortress. He was home. Dean wanted to stay like this forever.

"What are you doing?" Cas asked but didn't take his arm off Dean.

"Hugging you."

"You need to sleep."

"No!" Dean didn't want the hug to end, so he held on tighter. "You're warm." It was true. Cas was like the perfect bed. Soft and warm.

"I can hug you while you try to sleep."

Wait, really? "For real?" Dean made the mistake of looking at Cas while he still hugged him. They were close. Super, super close. Dean loved those blue eyes. "You're pretty." He didn't mean to say it. He thought it, then his mouth moved, and then he realized what happened.

Cas just moved him to one of the beds without saying anything. Dean tumbled onto it and stared at the ceiling. It looked like every other motel ceiling. He was sick of motels. Something tugged on his foot. He couldn't be bothered to look what it was. Cas was there after all, so everything was fine.

"Something is pulling me," Dean said.

"I'm taking your shoes off," Cas explained.

It was a simple gesture, but one of the kindest things anyone had ever done for Dean. Or one of the best that Dean could think of right now. Who else would do this? Cas always went out of his way for Dean.

"I love you," Dean said.

Cas finally pulled Dean's shoe off then started tugging on the other one.

"I love you, too." It was soft and so...genuine. Was this actually happening? And did Cas mean it? Or was he saying it to please the drunk?

But it didn't matter. Dean was in a good mood. He'd believe it for now. Everything else was tomorrow's problem—if he could even remember any of this. If any of this was real. His second shoe was taken off, and Dean held his arms up again for Cas. He felt the bed next to him dip before Cas put an arm around Dean. Dean held onto it like a lifeline.

"Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

[eddielala]

Okay, I won’t sleep.

Here’s my goddamn summary and explanation of the meta. Because I have to say it.

1. They cut the ‘I love you’ scene . You know why? It was a hint that this episode won’t be about them.

2. We don’t know how long Dean was in the bunker and cried. We do know he didn’t pick up the phone the first time Sam called.

3. Dean arrives with the Impala. You can see he’s broken. And I really mean fucking goddamn broken. Jensen acted it very well and in character. He looks to the ground, he tries not to cry, his eyes flutter. He doesn’t realize what Jack and Sam are saying, you literally can see him thinking. Cas told him he loves him and died, that’s not easy to handle. Not for Dean, who’s still unsure about his sexuality.

4. “He saved me”. Well, he didn’t say ‘he loves me’. But ‘he saved me’ is the exact same thing for Dean, because he’s the man who doesn’t deserve to be saved. Saving him was Cas’ love confession and with telling Sam and Jack about it, he said ‘he loves me’. And come on, Dean talking about feelings would be out of character. We see a drunk Dean sleeping between beer bottles, that’s enough.

5. The dog is Cas. Not in person, but it’s kind of an incarnation. The angel with the puppy eyes, loyal, brave. Dean sees Cas in it and that’s the reason he falls in love with ‘Miracle’. He dies because of god and the moment of joy is over. Btw in the end you can see the dog again. Sooo, maybe Cas is on his way?

6. Adam is dead. It was only Michael and Adams body. And after Michael is killed Adam is gone forever. Maybe it’s a message because the fans always made fun that the writers and the boys forgot their brother. Now he’s gone.

7. The Cas call scene. You can see the desperate in Deans eyes. I already saw some posts about it and they were on point. The moment of hope in Deans eyes when he hears Cas’ voice, he jumps off and runs upstairs. That’s love btw. He wants so bad that it’s Cas, even he knows it’s nearly impossible.

8. Lucifers comeback. Maybe fan service? Mark was a brillant Lucifer. And we have the situation of the archenemies again: Lucifer and Michael, both with daddy issues. One last fight. And, surprise, Luci dies. The “good” one wins. Luci is now in the empty again... isn’t he? But I think his death is permanently. They wanted to solve the problem with the whole ‘in SPN nobody stays dead’ thing. But dunno, I didn’t look up the cast for next week’s episode.

9. The reaper. Well, I was in shock when she showed up. I really thought it’s Cas in a female vessel but it was just a reaper. Luci kills her, here’s new death. Well, they needed someone to open up the goddamn book. Wasn’t very exciting. And she was dead as fast as she was alive. I think the writers didn’t know how to open up the book otherwise.

10. The plan. What a rush. And how could god not know it? He’s omniscient? Hm... well, I think the most important scene was the one when Dean asks god to bring Cas back. The anger in his eyes, mixed with desperation. He would kill his brother, but Cas has to live. That’s character development, you can’t tell me otherwise. And that’s also plot development.

11. Michael’s death. Kill off and gone. Well, I think they had to get rid of him. But he died through the hands of his loved father. Could be a hint that daddy issues have to be solved and shows that Chuck is a goddamn son of a bitch.

12. Jack. Oh, he’s an adult now! I think it was the best what could happen to our baby. He always felt not strong enough and now he’s god. That’s a promotion! It was a good decision: Jack was not controlled by his feelings - sure he had bad days, but his wisdom was greater than god’s actually. The reason is that he’s half an angel. And he’s half an human. God made the angels the image and likeness of himself but he wasn’t satisfied by the result. So he created humanity the same way. Jack is a combination out of god’s objective, destructive side and god’s loving, emotional side. And both sides were always in balance, and that’s the reason he could be a energy - how did they call it - sucking hole without getting destroyed by gods and Amaras power. Because these powers need balance and Jack could give it to them.

13. God. God’s an asshole. And we know he represents the writers of Supernatural. When Chuck beats the shit out of Dean and Sam it’s actually a message: The writers harmed them so many times, the whole series is a fucking drama. It represents how they dealt with them, they send them to hell and back so many times. They tortured them, broke their hearts. That’s the last time the writers harm them so much. Because they - Chuck - looses his powers. Dean and Sam take over the situation. Dean and Sam represented and influenced by Jensen and Jared. And by the fans. The writers aren’t able to change them anymore. They are what we want them to be. Because they don’t have the power anymore.

14. The book. We see the white pages of the book. God can’t see what’s written there. The pages are blank. This means the writers are finished. They don’t have something to say anymore. The story got told and there’s nothing what follows. The pages are white and ready for stories from other people. Fanfics, fanarts, and so on. Chuck, the writers, tell us there’s nothing left to say. It’s over.

15. Dean doesn’t kill god. Chuck provokes Dean to kill him and Dean says to him, that’s not who he is. You remember Cas said it this to him, right. It’s not a love confession but something like this. He finally accepts who he is and that he has feelings and not only a raised killing machine. He accepts himself. Maybe that’s a good sign for the next episode.

16. Jack disappears. I know he’s family but for real: he found his happiness being a god. He will change the world. I already said why he’s perfect for this job. And his disappearance is... well, gives me a comfortable feeling. He’s in peace and he found his mission of life. And you can’t tell me he didn’t bring back Eileen and the others. We don’t know if he can bring back Cas out of the empty. But I think he would bring Cas back if he could. Maybe he couldn’t and the story gets told in the last episode. However, Jack did a great job.

17. The ending. Yeah, what did we expect? They already told us with the season’s posters that it’s about Sam and Dean. And only them. And I can understand why Dean seems to be happy there. They literally saved the goddamn world again. But I don’t think it’s only this. They are free now. That means they can become what they want - what the fans want because the writers lost their power. And maybe that’s a hint on Destiel being confirmed by Dean in the next episode. And they’re driving with the Impala but we don’t know where they will go. Hmm... and maybe Dean smiled because he had hope again? Hope to save his... boyfriend?! Don’t know, but he’s able to do it now.

So, maybe I’m too romantic but that’s what I think. I think we see Cas again and that they will be together. I don’t know and I don’t think we will get a love confession from Dean (I know, sad. I thought we get it). But I think there’s hope. Maybe - that’s only a theory - they don’t want to make it completely canon because they argue that the end should offer enough possibilities for the fans to write and draw and so on. I would be pissed if that’s the argument, I mean queerbaiting is real but we don’t know.

I don’t find an answer in the confusing statements of the actors and the crew. Misha said he’s not in this episodes, but he was on set. It’s canon, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate? What the hell? It’s a mess and they have to clean it up for the fans. They said it won’t be a ‘Game of Thrones’ ending and hell yes, I don’t want that. It would suck. Also they said the ending would make 30% of the fans happy - maybe that’s us. We’ll see.

Edit: Btw I wrote it before, I think it’s true that Cas gets more attention in the last episode because of the fact it’s the series finale. Cas wasn’t just part of the season and we know it was the season finale, he’s part of the whole series for years. So why not bring him back for the series finale?

[deantransgressions2]

4x22 lucifer rising

#1: “bobby, i tried to help him. i did.” when.....when did you try? lmk when, i’d love to know.

time tag: 6:19

#2: “sam never wanted part of this family. he hated this life growing up. ran away to standford first chance he got. and now it’s like deja vu all over again” (said to bobby)

... how does wanting to go to college = hating your family? how does hating how you grew up = hating your family? it doesn’t.

time tag: 6:38

#3: “sam’s gone. he’s gone. i’m not even sure if he’s still my brother anymore. if he ever was.” (said to bobby)

time tag: 7:01

#4: “you started all this” (zachariah to dean) .. in one ear, out the other. 

time tag: 11:36

#5: “i’m still pissed. and i owe you a serious beatdown” (said to sam) ??? no you don’t. 

time tag: 13:50

#6: dean asks to see sam, because he wants to apologize and “tie up this one thing”. funny how he never does any of that. the voicemail never goes through, so dean never actually apologizes to sam for anything. 

time tag: 20:25

#7: dean is upset that the angels have trapped him in the angel room. good. taste of his own medicine. 

time tag: 21:12

#8: wanted to go to sam and kill lilith with him. until zachariah and cas told him lilith was the final seal. he was willing to kill lilith with sam up until the very moment he found out the truth. obviously if sam knew the truth, he would also not of killed lilith. but of course, dean has selective memory, and likes to treat everyone around him like dog shit for fun. 

time tag: 22:58

#9: find out his voicemail never went through because he has been outside his coverage zone this entire time. this is important because now he KNOWS his apology never reached sam. 

time tag: 27:53

#10: sam hears the fake voicemail and believes it’s from dean. if dean was half the brother he thinks he is, then sam should have realized that voicemail was fake from a mile away. but sam believed dean had said those things to him. why? because dean would actually have said them. we have heard dean say similar things to sam in the past, and we will hear him say worse in the future. 

time tag: 31:17

#11: “i’m sorry” (sam to dean)

based on dean’s face, its clear he had a change of heart and now no longer wants to apologize to sam. dean takes the first opportunity to pin something on sam, just so he can transfer any blame he had for himself, onto him. dean was feeling so shitty about the 1st seal the last 6 episodes, and now that sam broke one, dean is gonna use that to make sam the sole one to blame. JUST so he no longer has to feel guilt anyone. it’s not the first time he has does this, and it fucking certainly won’t be the last. 

time tag: 41:38

[charlie-minion]

Still unresolved

DISCLAIMER: This is my blog and you’ll find my opinions here. If you don’t agree with me, I invite you to scroll past this post without trying to start an argument because I’m not here to prove who’s right or not. I just want to write meta without having to censor myself because I fear I might offend someone. I will delete any hateful anon messages I get, so you have been warned.

When I started writing meta 7 years ago, nobody knew who I was and my blog had probably 20 followers. I decided to share my own opinion (after reading hundreds of meta posts from other more talented people) because I loved Dean and Cas and there were things about their relationship that NOBODY was talking about at the time, at least not with the perspective I had.

I stopped writing Destiel meta sometime between seasons 12 and 13 because, to me, Destiel became canon around that time. When I say “to me”, I mean that I’m well aware the story hasn’t TEXTUALLY said that Dean and Cas have romantic feelings for each other, but it’s been WAY TOO OBVIOUS to deny it.

In season 8, the relationship between Dean and Cas was finally taken seriously (something that never happened before, at least not with endgame in mind). In season 9, Dean began to be set for a romantic interest while coming to terms with the fact that he could feel both familial and romantic love. In season 10, the codependency was proved to be a major obstacle in Dean’s (and Sam’s) relationships with other people, and we were told subtextually that Dean had feelings he wanted to experience differently (and that, according to him, were probably unrequited). We still didn’t know WHO he had those feelings for.

In season 11, we were subtextually told that a happy ending for Team Free Will was probably the endgame, moving away from Kripke’s original idea (which now we know was Chuck’s idea). We were shown it was possible to settle down with another hunter, someone who understood the life, maybe not marriage, but definitely romantic love, and even retirement.

In season 12, Dean was faced with his biggest fear: LOVE. Giving it without being afraid of losing the person who receives it, and being open to receive it back. He managed to express his love (and all the hate and hurt feelings he repressed) toward his mother, and he got an “I love you. I love all of you” from his best friend. If by this time, people had not been paying attention to how the relationship between Dean and Cas had been progressing, I recommend you read my meta masterpost in chronological order. I have 7 years’ worth of posts!

Let’s remember that Dean knew he had feelings for someone since at least 9x02 when he talked about love… and love. Or if you don’t want to take that moment, then since at least 10x16 when he confessed he had feelings he wanted to experience differently. Or if you’re not a fan of subtext, since at least 11x11 when he was told that he was pining for someone.

Truth is… he had feelings since PURGATORY. Since he realized he could NOT leave that fucking monster land without his angel… his best friend. Are you following? But, because Dean Winchester is not really with the whole love… and love, in 8x17 he confessed his feelings for Cas in the best way he could, with a “We need you. I need you”. And that’s why many of us, meta writers, have a tag for the need vs want conundrum, and for the singular vs plural conundrum.

Maybe Dean needed Cas because he was an angel in season 5 or in season 6, but when he lost Cas in season 7, that shit broke him. So, when they ended up in Purgatory, Dean realized that Cas was not just an ally. He was so much more than that! And don’t even get me started on the ‘WE need you’. I mean, we know Sam cares about Cas a lot, but every time they’ve lost Cas (when Castiel was possessed by Lucifer in season 11 or when Cas died at the end of season 12 and the first 5 episodes of season 13), the one who loses everything is Dean, not Sam.

When did Destiel become canon to me? After Dean’s mourning arc, after his 180 when Cas came back to life and “it’s never too late to start all over again” was playing, after Dean said “I do” to Cas with a cross behind them and they subtextually became married (with a kid).

After that, there was nothing I could say without repeating myself. We couldn’t expect any resolution between Dean and Cas until we reached the final season and I’ve been saying that since season 9 ended. I’ve even said that Dean and Cas will end up together and that if they’re textually made romantic it will be in the last episode(s) of the last season (even though some people had different expectations). If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you probably know I’m not lying about all these things. I’m just giving a summary of what I’ve been saying for 7 freaking years!

The fact that Dean hates it when Cas leaves, I’ve talked about it .https://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/102787887207/ill-stay-with-you-because-i-want-to-not-because

The fact that Cas needed Dean to ask him to stay, I’ve talked about it. https://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/171578528107/regarding-your-last-post-while-i-agree-that-dean

The fact that Destiel is endgame, I’ve talked about it, too! https://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/122136945257/how-would-you-make-destiel-canon-if-you-could-in

So, for the love of Billie (because I’m done with Chuck), enjoy the ride!

The resolution between Dean and Cas DID NOT HAPPEN IN 15X09. Why would you think that something that has been building for SO MANY YEARS would be resolved so easily and so soon, when we still have 11 episodes to go? That’s insane!

HOWEVER,

We got open communication. Dean’s prayer to Cas… beautiful! The tears, the hug, the desperation because he thought that he was going to lose Cas AGAIN!

That, my friends, is PAY OFF for so many years waiting.

And we’re not done yet. Dean was going to say something else and Cas stopped him. That’s storytelling 101.

What was Dean going to say? Can Dean finally overcome his problems with the “I” vs “we” and “need” vs “want” or even… “love”?

Of course he can! That’s still a possibility! The Dean that poured his heart out to Cas like that can do that and more. And that’s the resolution we’ve all been waiting for. But as I said 4 FUCKING YEARS AGO:

That’s for “the show’s final season and the final episodes of it”!

I can’t promise Destiel will be textually romantic by the end of the series, but I’m very happy with where the story is right now and the odds are favorable. What I’m sure of is that Dean and Cas will be together at the end, and if that happens, it’s better to make it canon than to leave it open for interpretation. Am I right? :’D

[were-all-idjits-here]

Still Alive, Part I: What About Dean?

Request from @totallyluciferr​ : the reader lives in a universe where Supernatural is fiction and they’re a big fan of SPN, so the reader is re-watching the episode where Dean and Castiel gets zapped to Purgatory, they suddenly get zapped to Sam and Amelia’s house. Then the reader tries to tell Sam that Dean is trapped in Purgatory and needs help. The reader ends up meeting and saving Dean. 

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: angst, cursing

A/N: this was meant to be a one-shot, but I have no self control and it got away from me and became super long. In an attempt to not make this 5000 miles long or make the end super rushed, I’ll be posting this in three parts. Hoping to have all three up by the 27th. @totallyluciferr​ thank you so much for being patient while I took forever to write this. Some mental health issues have made writing hard, but I want to make sure I take the time to get this done well the first time.

~~Read here on AO3~~

You noticed how heavy your head felt before you even opened your eyes. A hard, cold surface laid beneath you and you frowned. The last thing you remember was laying on the couch in your shitty apartment, trying to drown out your screaming neighbors on one side and the blaring music on the other with your favorite show, Supernatural. It had partially been working, even if you were annoyed at having to turn subtitles on to be able to understand some of what they were saying. You had almost nodded off right when Dean and Cas got zapped to Purgatory in the season 7 finale when there had been a bright white light. Had you fallen to the floor maybe? But what had the light been?

You groaned and slowly sat up, bringing a hand up to your head. Your forehead bumped something cold and you slowly opened your eyes, backing up a bit. You were suddenly very awake as you realized there was a gun pointed at you. You were even more awake when you followed the hand holding it up to the face and realized you were sprawled out on a nicely manicured lawn in front of Sam Winchester.

The two of you stared at each other for a moment before you broke the silence with a loud, “What the fuck!”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking,” Sam growled, still pointing his gun at you. “Who the hell are you and what do you want?”

You blinked, jumping as you heard the safety click off. “Take it easy. I have no clue how I got here. I was on my couch one minute and now I’m here and this can’t possibly be real and holy shit, I must’ve had too much to drink and oh my god you’re Sam fucking Winchester, I thought this was just a TV show, what the fuck is going on—”

“Okay, easy, easy!” Sam lowered his gun, but still kept it tightly in his hand. He frowned before holding out a hand to help you up.

You hesitantly took it and let him pull you to your feet. Sam clicked the safety back on the gun and tucked it into the waistband of his pants. He roughly grabbed your wrist and yanked you across the backyard, up the steps of the back porch and through a back door into a dimly lit kitchen. You recognized the house as Amelia’s from the show and realized you must be somewhere either in or close to the season 8 premiere. In or close to the season 8 premiere—holy hell, had you seriously somehow been Blue scadooed into the TV? That couldn’t be possible, no fucking way—

“Hey, hey, hey—breathe!” Sam suddenly knelt in front of you from where he’d been rummaging through the cupboards. You suddenly realized the faint wheezing sound you’d been hearing was coming from you and it felt like your heart was about to beat out of your chest. You grabbed the table for support, your palm coming down flat on top of a fork. The prongs stung your hand, confirming this was real. You wouldn’t be able to feel pain in a dream, right?

A brown paper bag was suddenly thrust in front of you and you panted into it gratefully. After a few minutes, you could feel your pulse and breathing slow.

“That’s it, nice and slow,” Sam said, taking a deep breath in and slowly blowing it out. You mimicked him for several minutes until you felt coherent enough to set the bag down on the counter. “Hold this,” Sam said quietly, gently putting the silver fork into your hand. When nothing happened, he handed you a glass of water next. “Drink this.” Again, nothing happened and Sam sat down across from you, seeming satisfied.

You let a deep breath out slowly before asking, “How the hell is this real?”

Sam shook his head. It took all your restraint not to laugh at the famous wifi-shaped wrinkles that formed above his brow. “I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his hair, then down his face. “What did you mean you thought this was just a TV show? And how do you know my name?”

“It’s gonna sound insane.”

“I specialize in insane. Try me.”

You swallowed hard, taking another drink of water. “So, um…I came from this…world, I guess, where your and Dean’s lives are a TV show and you’re fictional characters. I was actually on the episode that shows the events that happened probably…six-ish months ago, fell asleep, saw a bright white light and then woke up in your backyard.”

Sam nodded. “Dean and I got zapped to some sort of universe forever ago where our lives were a TV show. We kept getting mistaken for the actors.”

“Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki?”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. Why would you wanna watch our lives anyway? It’s just a bunch of darkness and death and despair.” His face seemed to sink at the last sentence and you noticed his dark circles and sunken cheeks. You glanced at the clock you noticed behind him to see it read 3:30am. So he wasn’t sleeping. It made sense after everything he’d been through.

“Well, I mean…at first, it was kind of cathartic, watching the good guys win, ya know? Then I just got so attached to you and Dean as characters—er, people, I guess, that I just kept watching. I just wanted to root for you and watch you win.”

Sam smiled sadly. “Well, thanks, I guess. Haven’t been a lot of wins lately.”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, “I’m sorry. Thanks for saving the world and stuff.”

Sam gave you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, avoiding your gaze as he picked some stray paint off the edge of the kitchen table. “So…what did you mean when you said you were on the episode about events six months or so ago? What happened?”

You hesitated, realizing how fragile of a state he was still in. “You sure you wanna know?”

His dark circles seemed even more prominent now. “When we…lost Dean?”

“Yeah,” you barely whispered.

Sam nodded, biting his lip and looking at his lap, renewing his efforts to pick at the table. The two of you sat in awkward silence for several minutes.

“I’m sorry you had to watch that,” you finally murmured.

“Yeah, me too.” He paused. “I’ve seen my brother die before, but it always felt like I could bring him back, ya know? This time…there isn’t even a body left to bring back. He’s really gone for good this time.” He sniffled. “But, I’ll figure out how to get you home, don’t worry—”

“Dean’s not dead,” you blurted.

Sam’s head shot up and he stared at you bug-eyed. “What?”

“He’s not dead. When monsters die, they go to Purgatory, which is where Dick went. That’s where Dean and Cas are. They’re still alive.”

Sam squinted suspiciously. “Says who? The show?”

You nodded. What followed was a long string of questioning from Sam about events from the show, no doubt trying to find out how accurate it was to his real life—which still felt insane to say; you still weren’t completely convinced one of your neighbors’ drug fumes hadn’t floated through your vents and triggered some sort of acid dream—and you answered them to the best of your ability.

By the time 45 minutes had flown by full of questions, you sighed. “Look, Sam, you said you’d been to my universe, so you know it’s a real place. I passed all your tests, so I’m not a monster that’s trying to drag you out of your apple pie life. How long has it been since Dean and Cas disappeared?”

“Six months,” Sam answered, his face still skeptic.

“Okay, so Dean was trapped in Purgatory for a year in the show. There’s a portal in Purgatory that lets humans escape, since they’re not supposed to be there. I don’t know how the hell we would do it, but if we can find where he emerges from Purgatory and somehow get a message to him, we can get him out.”

Sam opened his mouth to reply when a woman’s voice behind you suddenly said, “Sam? What’s going on?”

You spun around to see a sleepy Amelia standing in her PJs, looking at you blearily with wary dark eyes.

Sam glanced at you, then smoothly said, “She was on her way home from a friend’s sleepover and got lost. She stopped here to ask for help. I know her address and I’m gonna drive her home.”

Amelia frowned. “You were on your way home from a friend’s sleepover at almost five in the morning?”

“Things were getting a little too rowdy for me.” You hoped you looked and sounded convincing. “They’re big partiers and I guess I didn’t realize how big till the drugs came out and…” You did your best to look sheepish and shrugged. “I noped out of there.”

“Oh, yikes,” Amelia said. She looked at Sam. “You’ll be back soon?”

“Yeah,” he answered, grabbing a familiar set of car keys off the counter behind him. He stood and gave her a parting kiss. “Go back to bed. I’ll join you soon.” He motioned for you to follow as Amelia trudged back up the steps to the bedroom.

You stood in awe for a moment as Sam led you to the garage. The Impala. Baby. You gently reached out and touched the immaculate black paint, feeling a strange sense of calm as you looked over the car. Sam watched you from the driver’s side. “Big part of the show, I take it?”

“It’s practically its own character,” you replied. “If something happened to Baby, I’d probably cry.”

Sam chuckled as he climbed in. “Dean would’ve loved you.”

You climbed in after him, making sure to take care with how you shut the door. You sighed as you settled down on the leather seat. This felt good. This felt like home. “Would, Sam. He’s still alive.”

Sam glanced at you warily before opening the garage door and firing up the engine. He didn’t reply as you backed out of the driveway and sped down the road. “There’s a motel about five miles away. I’ll get you a room for a couple days while I figure out how to get you home. Don’t worry about the bill.”

“I don’t want to go home, Sam, I want to find Dean.”

“Listen, this isn’t a life you should want just because some TV show romanticizes hunting. Hunting isn’t some noble, epic good versus evil battle. It’s brutal and all it has is death and darkness and pain. You lose people all the time, there’s risk of you dying all the time, you see things you can never unsee—”

“Yes, I know, I do watch the show. I’m not saying the life is like that, I’m saying you’re doing something. You’re saving people and through that, proving your worth. Plus it’s not like I don’t have my own trauma, you know. My life home is shit. I don’t even have anyone or anything, a shit apartment, a shit job—”

“I’m not saying you don’t have your own trauma or that it isn’t as valid. But you seriously think this is better? If it weren’t for Amelia, I wouldn’t have anyone right now either.”

“But Dean’s alive, Sam! We can save him!”

“Just stop talking about it, okay?”

“Why won’t you believe me? I aced your quiz back in the kitchen.”

“I just don’t know if I believe you. That’s a show, it’s Hollywoodized! This is real life!”

“Do you really not believe or do you just not want to believe me?” Sam didn’t reply, but you could see how white his knuckles were as they gripped the wheel. You had always been frustrated with the fact that Sam didn’t look for Dean in the show, but had always held a level of sympathy for him. That level was quickly evaporating. If it was Dean you were talking to, he probably would’ve taken any chance—no matter how small—that his brother was alive and done something with it. You saw the motel fast approaching out the window and knew you were quickly losing your chance. “How many times as Kevin called you, hm? Kevin needs help, I have proof that your brother’s alive and we can save him and you’re seriously just gonna sit here on your ass—”

The Impala’s tires screeched as Sam made a hard right into the motel parking lot, barely putting the car in park before yanking the keys out of the ignition. “Stay here,” he growled before slamming the door closed behind him and stomping into the lobby.

You fumed in your seat, pulling out your phone to find that you did have signal. You quickly opened the Notes app and jotted down the place where you remembered Dean emerges from Purgatory in the show before you forgot. Since someone wasn’t interested in helping you, maybe you would just have to make a visit yourself. But he wouldn’t escape for another six months. How the hell were you going to speed that time frame up? Witchcraft, maybe? But you didn’t know anything about hunting. If you tried to contact a witch, you would end up dead for sure.

Just as you were googling where the nearest library was, a knock on your car window made you jump. Sam stood there, still fuming and holding two keys in his hand. You rolled your eyes and got out, following him into room 205 on the second floor. He slammed the door behind you, pointing a long finger at you. “You stay in this room until I can figure out a way to get you home—and you are going home. Don’t get any funny ideas.”

“So you’re trapping me here? Should I assume both of those keys are for you then?”

He handed over a key, along with a credit card to your surprise. “This is for clothes and food. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to get you home.” He handed you his phone next. “Put in your number and name.”

You begrudgingly complied and handed him your phone to do the same.

“Stay,” Sam said again as he made his way towards the door. “You’ll thank me later.”

“What about Dean?”

Sam sighed, pausing in the doorway. “We’ll see. But there’s no way he’s still alive.”

“I’m telling you, there is.”

You saw Sam’s shoulders heave for a brief moment. “I’ll look into it.” With that, he slammed the door behind him and you heard the click of the lock, completing your cage.

[bottlesandcats]

Pardon My 15x20 Rant

I woke up this morning with Thoughts, so time for a ranty post. Be prepared this is going to read more like word vomit than anything, but I just wanted to get my thoughts down on paper. No one may even read this bc I don’t have a lot of followers but it feels good to just get this off my chest and out into the Universe. Warning, there is a gratuitous use of caps.

So....I see so many fans on Twitter saying how beautiful and perfect that ending was and, I have to say, I’m truly bewildered by that.

 Even if you aren’t a Destiel fan, I’m not sure how you could’ve found that ending to be remotely satisfying. See list of non Destiel-related reasons below (bc I’m trying to see this from the perspective of someone who isn’t in that part of the fandom):

1. The MOW was crap; wtf was with the Halloween masks? When have we ever seen that with vamps? The dumbest shit I’ve seen. 

They trotted out some extra from season 1 like it’s supposed to be some fun little Easter egg. Why are we supposed to give a shit about her? I didn’t even remember her with the flashback. Who are you, again? NM, I DON’T CARE. It also honestly made no sense to feature a MOW episode after everything that just happened, it wasn’t necessary. It was clearly just a means to an end to get Dean killed.

2. They shoved some random family, for Sam, into the last ten minutes of the episode. Sam’s kid is named Dean? OF COURSE HE IS. And that whole father-son montage was so clunky and awkward, I would’ve been more convinced if you told me Sam actually just wandered into some anonymous woman’s backyard and started playing ball with her kid. 

We’ve seen how emotionally invested Sam gets in his relationships and we’ve had such beautiful moments: Sam/Jess, Sam/Madison, (even Sam/Ruby), and of course Sam/Eileen. And now we are supposed to care about Anonymous Brunette Woman #4? GTFO. I’ve seen some people saying they couldn’t get Shoshanna bc of COVID, but give us something to indicate it was Eileen. Have Sam sign something to her from across the yard; IT’S THAT SIMPLE. But no, not one single mention of her in either 19 or 20, after Sam nearly broke when he lost her in 18.

 I couldn’t even feel happy for him bc I had 0 emotional investment in this life of his. And it was all just rushed through so we could get to the “good part” where Sam dies and is reunited with Dean in Heaven. 

Also small note, what happened to Dean’s dog???

3. The wardrobe department really needs to reconsider some of their life choices. I’ve seen tufts of cat hair in the corners of my house that would’ve made a better wig than that rag they threw on Jared’s head. It was so ridiculous, I started thinking this was going to wind up being some big gag like The Mystery Spot” and The Trickster was going to pop out. 

And why did Jim Beaver’s beard look like they spray-painted cotton balls brown and glued them to his face? It was honestly distracting. 

4. After 15 years, and FINALLY achieving freedom and happiness, Dean gets taken down by a rebar and a Vamp-mime. The only way I could justify this to myself was that, now that they are no longer God’s puppets he’s not bending the rules for them and they don’t have that death-defying luck on their side now. But even that is weak. After all his fighting, sacrificing, and wanting nothing more than to chill on a beach with Sam and Cas, this is what he gets. This was a show about defying destiny, THAT WAS THE WHOLE PLOT OF S15.

 Dean always said he figured it was his destiny to die bloody, and that’s exactly why he shouldn’t have gone out this way. STORY ARC, WHAT’S THAT? Cas told Dean, when he first met him, that good things do happen. So basically, the only way Dean could get his happiness was to die? What a heart-warming message. 

5. Dean’s lack of emotion over the loss of Cas was the most OOC I think I’ve ever seen from him. Dean DOES NOT accept the deaths of those he loves in any way. He does not cope, he does not move on, he does not happily eat a bunch of pie. We’ve seen how Dean has handled Cas’s death in the past. It’s...not good, and it only became more unhealthy as the show progressed, with the last time (before 18) having Dean literally killing himself. Even in 15x19, we still got that desperate heartache from him with Dean demanding that Chuck bring Cas back. We also saw him sleeping amongst a pile of empty liquor bottles, which is very on-character for him. But in 15x20, he’s the one telling Sam they need to move on and keep living (oops) over a giant tray of pie slices at a county fair. Even Sam feels off. One minute he’s all “I’m sad about Cas and Jack” and the next he’s putting a pie in Dean’s face and is like “I feel better now!” You’ve got a direct in with God!Jack now, and we know from 15x19 that God can pull beings out of The Empty bc he did it with Lucifer! THAT WAS YOUR IN, YOU IDIOTS. You ask Chuck to bring back Cas, but not the one to whom he was a father to????????? 

6. Even if you weren’t a Destiel shipper, you should still be disappointed in the noticeable absence of Castiel, especially since he was left with such a cliffhanger of character development and was mentioned multiple times in episodes 19 and 20. He was a pivotal part of the show for 11 years. Even if you take out the Destiel stuff, the boys have called him their brother numerous times. Dean’s call him his best friend. Wouldn’t his ideal Heaven have his best friend in it?

7. I’m not going to rail on the scene between the brothers while Dean is dying. I didn’t really get Wincest vibes from it, though I never put much stock into that side of the fandom anyway. My one issue is this was the “love confession” moment they gave us. Dean dying in a barn and telling Sam he loves his baby brother. *SNORE*

8. The big reunion moment we were hoping for? They wasted it on Dean’s car. A FUCKING CAR. Yes, I get the Impala is important to the story, but come the fuck on. NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS. MUCH BRO. 

All-in-all the whole ending felt like 1 step forward, and 15 years back. After all the character development and story arcs, it’s like they just threw it all out the window. Nothing changed. Everyone was back to where they started: Cas working for God, Dean being a good soldier and dying bloody doing the only thing he knows how to do, Sam being left to pick up the pieces with some distorted version of an apple pie life where he was basically just living to die so he could be with Dean again. I felt like the lesson was that the only way you get what you want is to die. It was gross. It was a disservice to the actors, the characters, and the fans. I can’t begin to even see this as fan-service bc I’d love to know who the TPTB thought they were serving with this garbage. And honestly, I don’t think they knew either. I feel like they were so worried about pissing off all the different subsets of the fandom that they went as safe as they could. *slow claps* Way to go, guys, really groundbreaking stuff.

At the end of the day though, it’s my fault for being disappointed. I shouldn’t have expected so much of a show that had mostly cis white men working behind the scenes. A show that’s killed almost every female character who stepped up to the plate (also, POC anyone? Nahhh). A show that took their one real LGBTQ character (also female), killed her and left her body in a bathtub (FRIDGING IS FUN) for absolutely no good reason. A show that, at the end of the day, is just a show about a couple bros who kill monsters, on the CW, and the CW is hardly the go-to place for real boundary-pushing content. A show that has managed to drop the ball at almost every opportunity though we, as a fandom, have continued to lower the bar for them.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 100 times? 

So with all that being said...

Peace out bitches.

[castiel-kline]

KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 2)

The Man Who Would Be King (6x20)

For, um. Obvious reasons.

Ahhhhh this monologue is so fucking good

“But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Cas should do a stand up routine ngl. This line is some kind of comedic genius

He looked RIGHT at the camera. I remember the first time I saw that I was like hello, this ep is going to destroy me. Spoiler alert: it did. And does.

Cas called Sam being in the cage “a great cost” and immediately went to get him. 🥺 And did he seriously imply his overconfidence gave him the strength to fight his way into the cage? Damn. Confusing, but go off I guess

“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” AHHHHH

Cas, come on. You’re smart enough to pick up on when Dean’s being sketchy

Dean said Satan Jr and I forgot this was season 6 for a sec and was about to get mad because that’s not a nice thing to call Jack, Dean. Um, yeah. Turns out they’re talking about Crowley lmao

I have MISSED Crowley’s shouting. He’s so dramatic.

Cas is so done with Crowley’s shit ahaha

The colors of his preferred Heaven are so beautiful

Cas being happy to see other angels will never not make me sad. He’s literally smiling so big considering it’s his s6 self ahhhh. AND THEY’RE HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HAPPY HE’S ALIVE MY EMOTIONS HURT AHHH

“Freedom is a length of rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.” One of my favorite Cas quotes right there

“You never look like you’re joking.” I love Cas’s sense of humor so much. Also, Raphael, kindly stop being an asshole. We do not need to restart the Apocalypse, thanks.

When did Cas stop doing the invisibility thing? Bc that could have come in handy later. Can Jack do that?

Bobby said he doesn’t want to be right about Cas being sketchy. Aww. I wonder if Bobby would have considered Cas one of his boys like Mary did if Bobby had... you know. Lived to see Cas soften out a little bit.

‘I’d die for him, I would.” Aww, Sam.

“That makes you Lois Lane.” Did... did Dean just say Sastiel rights?

I’d be more touched about Dean defending Cas but like... after this he doesn’t ever really give him the benefit of the doubt again, so. I’m a little upsetti spaghetti.

What was up with this demon Bobby guy. He’s funny but like. This is the only time we ever saw him lol

Cassss smite them demons bby. Get em.

All of their smiles at him are so cute. And Cas is just standing there like oop

“I’m still just Castiel.” YES YOU ARE HONEY. AND WE LOVE IT.

Cas is such a bad liar but like he’s also so good at it. Buddy, you’re so complicated. Wouldn’t have it any other way <3

Protective Cas! We love to see it.

OH SHIT he slammed Crowley into the wall so hard it broke the tile. King shit, Cas.

“I’m an angel, you ass.” Another iconic line. This ep has so many.

So it IS official canon that angels don’t have souls. Well, that sure sheds a lot of painful new light on the soulless Jack situation later.

I know Dean says later that Cas could have asked him for help while he was with Lisa, but tbh I’m pretty sure if Cas had actually asked Dean would have said no. I’m in a psychology course right now, and that makes me marginally qualified to say that Dean was definitely experiencing some major hindsight bias.

What happened to Hell being an endless line? When did you stop that, Crowley? Because that would have saved Bobby and Kevin and Eileen so much unnecessary pain.

“Big bald patriarch” is now the only acceptable way to describe Samuel Campbell. That was hilarious. Thanks, Crowley.

I should also mention it’s weird to see Crowley without the beard. Does anyone else get that upon rewatch?

Did Cas actually take 50000 souls from Crowley just to throw Raphael out of his chair and make a statement? Honey, no. But also, king <3

The trap they set for him... Sam looks so sad about it. Ahh.

Okay but one of Bobby’s reasons not to trust Cas being that Bobby didn’t buy that Cas could be effectively tricked by Crowley is pretty cool. At least someone appreciates how smart Cas really is.

The Sam and Cas angst in this scene is immaculate. When Sam asks, “did you bring me back soulless on purpose?” Cas looks HORRIFIED. I don’t think we see him look that level of horrified again until... the end of 15x15 maybe? With that whole whammy Jack unloaded. Which is... wow. Much to unpack.

“I was there. Where were you?” I think we all know Dean is a little bit of a hypocrite. Because this entire season he most definitely didn’t care about Cas’s problems, and I’m pretty sure he did ask for help one time and they said no. So, you were there, but you weren’t a helping hand. You gotta practice what you preach, Dean-o

I know it was a complicated situation but leaving him in the holy fire is still pretty shitty. Come on, guys

“Get out of my sight.” I’m grinning during an intense scene because GO OFF CAS YOU TELL HIM

“The difference between you and me is I know what I am.” Crowley, kindly stop exacerbating Castiel’s self worth crisis. Please and thanks.

Does Bobby have a guest room? Where’s Sam? Why is Dean sleeping on the couch? Did he just want to? I’m sure Bobby has more comfortable places to sleep. Or maybe Bobby’s couch is just really comfy, idk

God, Dean, don’t be so rude. Don’t call Cas a child. I do not approve of this interaction.

Again, Dean. Practice what you preach.

“You’re like a brother to me.” In light of, uh, recent events, I’ll just leave this here.

Also in light of recent events, this is the second time in this episode Cas said the boys taught him free will. They taught him choice, not feelings. And it was CAS who chose to feel.

“I’m an angel. You’re just a man.” You tell him, Cas

Lmao Cas dipped out before the convo was over. Iconic.

The ending on the bench.... Cas. Sweetie. HE SAID FATHER AHHH. And he looks so SAD. Also, the way it was shot was really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.

The way it ended with him just hanging his head. Oh, my heart.

Anyway, this episode is a 10/10 for Cas, obviously, but we’re bumping it down to 8/10 because there was such an imbalance in Dean and Cas vs. Sam and Cas interactions. Didn’t remember the show was doing that crap this early. Also, the plot of season 6 low key still doesn’t make sense to me. Oops 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, it did me feel slightly better during my current crisis because Cas slays in this one. So, we’re gonna count it as a win.

If you read this thing all this way through, thanks for being here lol. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)

[h-o-l-l-i]

Love Never Hurt So Bad

Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Language, Smut (18+ only), oral sex (f. receiving), Fingering, unprotected sex

Author’s Note: Requests are OPEN! Let me know if you would like to be added t any of my tags.

Series: @coffee-obsessed-writer // @roonyxx // @mrsjaxtellerfan // @holylulusworld // @flamencodiva // @suvikamahes98blr //  @paintrider13-blog // @squirrelnotsam // @eves-library // @coffeebooksandfandom  // @teller258316  // @babykalika2001 // @deansgirl79 // @princessofthefandomrealm  // @tftumblin // @sasbb23 // @darylsbxtch // @mirandaaustin93 // @divadinag // @adoptdontshoppets // @andthatsmyworld // @fandomoverdose666 

SPN: @coffee-obsessed-writer // @roonyxx // @mrsjaxtellerfan // @princessofthefandomrealm // @witch-of-letters // @lauravic // @destielhoneybee // @keymology 

Dean Winchester: @akshi8278 // 

Everything: @negans-lucille-tblr // 

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5|Part 6| Part 7|Part 8|Part 9|Part 10** (final)

banner created by me

“California?” Sam scrunched his eyebrows together and looked over to you in disbelief.

“Yeah.” You swallowed your beer and nodded your head, “She’s there.” You hopped down off of the counter, your stocking feet sliding slightly.

Dean’s arms wrapped around your waist to steady you, “Woah there hoppy McHopson.”

You turned to him with a very confused look on your face, “What.” You paused, “What did you just say.” You looked over to Sam who was happily watching on, “Did that just seriously come out of your mouth, Dean Winchester.” You laughed, “What the actual fuck.” You steadied your tone and walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed another beer. You cracked it open with ease and took a long gulp, “I’m going to go take a shower,” you said backing up slightly to poke your head around the corner of the wall, “Don’t turn on any water.”

Once you were finally far enough down the hallway Sam approached his brother, “Dean, what the hell was that; Hoppy McHopson, really?” He crossed his arms across his chest, “Smooth, really Dean.” He scoffed.

Dean brushed past him and pursed his lips together, “It just came out, I don’t know how to talk to her anymore you know, she’s not herself—”

“And calling her Hoppy McHopson is going to somehow get her back.” Sam mocked.

“Shut up!” Dean warned and flicked on the faucet.

“Dean, go lightly. Y/N’s in the shower.” Sam warned and grabbed another beer.

“Exactly.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows making Sam roll his eyes, “What, she takes too long.”

“She just got in.” Sam tossed his hands up.

“Hey Winchester, the water.” You blurted out from the hallway, wrapped in a light blue towel, your hair wet and sticking to your skin.

“Right, sorry.” Dean stammered, satisfied you returned to your bathroom. “What.” Dean responded defensively to his judgmental look from his little brother.

“You just wanted to see Y/N without clothes on you—” Sam scolded.

“Well, it’s not like were having sex anymore—” Dean’s eyes darted to Sam, “What?”

“I could have done without that, but thanks.” Sam shook his head in disgust.

___

“We ready?” You reentered the room with a duffle bag in your hand. “What, you two have been up my ass about finding Rowena and getting my soul back and you’re not ready to go.” You scoffed and you dropped your bag, “Poetic.” You paused and leaned back on the counter, crossing your arms, “Maybe I am ready to get my soul back…”

“Really?!” Sam stood from his chair.

“Hell, no!” You clapped, “But you two should have seen your faces.” You laughed harder and mimicked their expressions.

“All right, enough with the jokes. Let’s go, we’ve got a long drive ahead of us.” Dean said through pursed lips and walked towards the garage of the impala, the two of you followed.

___

“I can’t believe it’s going to happen.” You said quietly, “I’m being serious, guys. Like, after all this time without it and now after we get Rowena to Crowley I get my soul back.” You shook your head, Dean’s green eyes intently watched you through the rearview mirror.

“How do you feel about it?” Dean inquired.

“I don’t.” You corrected, Sam laughed slightly, knowing what you are feeling, or not feeling. “But, if I did feel…nervous, probably.” you nodded.

“Me and Sammy are going to be right there the whole time, you’re going to be okay…you’re going to be you again…and we can be us.” You could hear his lips curled up into a small smile, his eyes veered from the road, back to you for a moment before Sam cleared his throat.

“Light’s green, Dean.” Sam scratched his head.

After a prolonged silence and miles later, your voice prompted Dean to turn the volume knob down, “Are we just not going to address what was said back home in the bunker?” You leaned forward and placed your head on the bench seat in front of you, in-between Dean and Sam.

They both turned their heads slightly to you, “Hoppy McHopson?” You bit down on your lip to stifle your laugh.

“I don’t know why I said that, okay. Can we just leave it alone.” Dean brushed it off, Sam chuckled from the passenger seat. “Oh look, we’re here.” he said ironically and huffed, “Thank Chuck.” He whispered under his breath and turned his wheel.

___

“Well, look what the Winchester’s dragged in.” Rowena’s heavily accented voice hummed through the small home that she was hiding in, faking being a widow inside suburban San Fransisco, California. “Samuel. Y/N.” She eyed you carefully, “Different are you, Y/N.”

Dean turned the corner with his lips pursed together in an intense flare of irritation. “Cut the shit Rowena, you know.” He pulled out his witch binding shackles, “You wanna do this the easy way or the hard way.”

In the blink of Dean’s green eye Rowena was darting over to a large bowl that was delicately placed on the center of a wooden table in the next room. “Hard way it is.” Dean’s rough voice rumbled in his chest as he chased after her, Sam following behind quickly.

You stood there and shrugged your shoulders and walked over to the refrigerator, popping it open and bending down at the waist to examine its contents before standing erect again and slamming the door shut with dissatisfaction at its emptiness.

“Y/N.” Sam’s breathless voice turned your attention to behind you, “We got her!” A bright smile erupted onto his lightly bearded face.

“Awesome!” You faked a spark of excitement, it was scary to hear just how good you were getting at doing that.

Dean’s grip on Rowena’s bicep was tight that she had no chance of escaping but also not to the point where he would leave a mark on her fair skin, “Watch your head.” He said as she slid into the black leather bench seat. “Come on, let’s go guys.” Dean’s dad-voice commanded you and Sammy.

___

“What does Fergus want with me; there’s a reason I’m not with him you know, the little shit…” Rowena finally broke the silence to find her question unanswered by the trio inside the impala. “What. Does. Fergus. Want. With. Me.” she asked again, followed by another episode of silence, “I’ll keep asking until you ca—”

“Lucifer.” You interrupted, “You’re the only one with the power to open his cage and if you do that Crowley won’t be the King of Hell anymore; so if he has you at his will then he doesn’t have to worry about that being an actual reality for him.” You rambled, “Can we finally get some food please, I’ve been starving since three states over.” You complained lightly.

“No.” Dean’s grip on the steering wheel tightened greatly to the point that his knuckles blanched a bright white.

“I mean, I”m pretty hungry too—” Sam lifted his eyebrows and glanced back to where you and Rowena sat in the back seat of baby.

“I said no!” Dean shouted.

“Well someone’s hangry…” you muttered under your breath making Rowena chuckle to herself as well as Sam.

___

“Crowley isn’t taking any visitor’s right now. Sir. Sir!—” a small woman called after Dean who was walking briskly past her, dragging Rowena by the arm. Dean’s lowered jaw and quick pace burst open the tall, heavy, mahogany doors.

“Dean.” Crowley’s eyes ignited with an intent surprise, “Mother.” He stood from his throne, “How nice of you to pay your son a visit.” His lips curled up into a malicious grin.

“Here.” Dean said, shoved her forward towards Crowley who’s eyes silently commanded his henchmen to intercept his mother and sweep her away into another part of hell.

“Y/N’s soul, give it back now.” Sam stated firmly.

“I’m afraid I can’t.” Crowley poured himself some whiskey and turned around gesturing to the three of you for any.

“What do you mean you can’t! We had a deal!” Dean’s heart raced, his voice deeper with frustration and anger.

“And a deal we had until…” Crowley’s voice trailed off as he lounged in his chair clicking his tongue.

“I can feel it,” you finally spoke, catching the attention of the three men in the room with you, “When it was ripped from my body it became even more so defensive to evil and eviscerates your demons that come near it.” You crossed your arms. “Did I guess right?”

“You can... feel it?” Sam asked, having gone through being soulless before and not having felt his soul like you have.

“You got all of that just from sensing your soul here, Y/N? Fascinating.” Crowley sipped lightly from his small crystal glass and you nodded.

“So you can’t get it because you’ll turn into a pile of dust, releasing Rowena which then will release Lucifer…” Sam clarified.

“Right you are, Moose.” Crowley pointed, “I am a man of my word, Y/N’s soul is in a safe down the hall and to the left.” He directed.

Dean’s legs took long, powerful strides towards the direction where Crowley advised, his little brother followed him; you were left standing in the same spot. Crowley’s eyebrows ticked upwards, “You don’t want it back.” He guessed.

You shrugged your shoulders and walked up to the small cabinet that harbored the King of Hell’s variety of whiskey’s. “I’m doing just fine without it.”

“Of course you are.” Crowley snapped his fingers and a chair was brought in for you to sit next to him, “Life is better when you can’t get hurt…or feel the hurting anyway.”

You sipped lightly and nodded in agreement, your silence with the King of Hell was cut short by the Winchester brothers bringing your soul back to fuse together with your body again. You set down your small clear glass down and smirked at Crowley and he tipped his glass to you.

___

“How do you feel?” Dean’s eyes shifted, gazing deeply into your eyes, hoping to find the woman he fell in love with.

You smiled back to him and turned your head to look to Sam who was anxiously waiting for you to reply. “Yeah,” you paused nodding to them, “Like myself.” You smiled nervously.

“I’m so glad you’re back to normal, baby.” Dean whispered into your ear as he pulled you into a tight hug; you nodded into his neck and he kissed the side of your head.

“Good to have you back, Y/N.” Sam said placing a hand on your shoulder, his dimples indenting inside of his cheeks.

“It feels good to be back again, Sammy.” You put your hand on top of his and squeezed it slightly. “It’s time to get back to saving people, hunting things again.” You grabbed Dean’s hand.

“No cases just yet, Y/N. You just got your soul back and—” Dean defended, stopping abruptly when he saw you staring intently to him as a warning. “Okay, we can find something but nothing crazy, we just got a win.”

___

“Food?” You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and looking to the front seat to the brothers, Dean was fixed on the road and Sam was drooling, leaned up against the window of the impala. “Hey.” You said gently slapping the back of your hand on the shoulder of each Winchester, startling them both.

“Yeah, we can stop for something then I think we can call it a night; get a couple motel rooms then head back to the bunker tomorrow morning after breakfast.” Dean nodded and his eyes searched the mirror looking for approval from you in the back seat.

___

“Goodnight guys.” You smiled slightly before opening the door to your room alone. You kicked off your boots and opened your duffle bag on the bed. A red and black flannel catching your eye, Dean’s flannel. You smiled to yourself and grabbed it, your heart glowing with love. Your eyes stared straight forward as it finally came back to you; you can feel. “Dean.” You whispered.

___

          Dean. Emergency. My room.

                                    I’m on my way.

You smiled happily and closed the app on your phone and lie on the motel bed and waited for the knock. “Open.” You called out.

Dean opened the door and stood in the doorway unable to move, his green eyes darkened as he allowed them to roam your body that was scantily covered by just his flannel. He opened his mouth to speak but his mouth was too dry, he cleared his throat and closed the door behind him as you sauntered over to him.

“I feel really bad for the other night, Dean.”, you said playing with his collar of his shirt and leaned up to his ear whispering into it, “I thought I would make it up to you…” and kissed him sweetly.

Dean broke away from your lips for a moment, you came down from your toes and looked up to him as his hooded eyes wandered your body, “You know... I’ve been looking for that shirt.”

“Then why don’t you take it from me, Winchester.” You reply seductively batting your thick eyelashes and biting your lower lip.

Dean growled into your kiss, his rough hands lifted the hem of his stolen shirt to rub your hips and up your sides. He walked you backwards until the backs of your legs connected with the end of the mattress; his hands left your hips to cup your thighs just below your bottom, lifting you up to place you farther onto the bed.

His warm body was hovering over you, his hands at either side of your head, he teased your mouth with his tongue asking for permission. You wrapped your legs around his torso and granted him access to you. “Dean, please.” You whined as he deepened his kiss.

He grunted, “God, I missed you, Y/N.” He separated from you for a moment to take off his shirt, your hands unfastened the buttons on the flannel that you stole. Before you could finish, the remaining buttons were flying across the room as Dean ripped the shirt open to expose even more of your body for him.

His mouth gently trailed your stomach up in between your breasts, stopping there for a second, his eyes looked up to you, “This has got to go.” His voice sent shockwaves through your body as you melted in his touch. He wasted no time removing your bra and taking your breast into his hand, kneading it gently.

Your mouth opened in pleasure and Dean took advantage of the moment, pressing his mouth to yours kissing you fiercely. His other hand came down to tug at the hemline of your panties, your hips bucked up slightly at his touch. You could feel him smile as he kissed you, “These got to go too, Y/N.” His fingers lifted the fabric and you shimmied you hips helping him remove them.

Your hands loosened the belt that was tight around his waist, “These have got to go, Winchester.” You mocked his words, undoing the zipper and reaching your hand into his boxers to begin to pump his cock. His lips parted slightly as he let out a throaty groan at your touch.

His fingers pulled his boxers off of his waist, his large member twitching as he took the sight of your naked body on the bed, ready and needing him. He leaned down and peppered your thighs with soft kisses. Your breath catching in your throat as he came closer to your wet center. His stubble scratching your skin caused goosebumps to erupt all over your body, “Please, Dean.” You arched your back and moved your hips eager for contact.

His tongue roughly lapped at you folds, his mouth latched onto your sensitive core, your hands ran through his hair, gently tugging it as you moaned his name. His fingers teased your entrance as his mouth sucked on your clit, driving you wild, “Dean!” You moaned loudly, “I need to feel you.” He smiled at how eager you sounded for him.

His thick fingers curled as he swiftly moved to hit the right spot making you whine more for his actions, “That’s it baby, feel me.” He came up to kiss you making you taste yourself on his tongue. His pace quickened, his thumb circled your clit roughly as his fingers pumped into you, he pressed his forehead on yours and looked into your eyes, “Come.” He commanded and you happily followed his order.

“Fuck, Dean!” Your body erupted in pleasure as you coated his fingers; your body craving more from him still. “Fuck me, Dean.” You said catching your breath as he rubbed his large, swollen cock through your folds, coating himself and teasing you.

“Beg.” He steadied himself at your aching center.

“Please fuck me, Dean Winchester. I need to feel you inside me.” You begged him, your hands wandering his lower abdomen and trying to push his hips forward slightly so he would slid into you.

He smiled down at you, “You’re so hot when you beg to be fucked, Y/N.” He held the base of his swollen member and he watched himself push into you, you moaned out as the burning pleasure of him stretching your walls rippled through your nerves. “You’re so wet for me, Y/N, so tight. Fuck.” He adjusted his hands and squeezed his eyes slightly as he was filling you up completely.

His hips moved at a fast pace as he fucked you deeply, “You feel so fucking good, Y/N.” He groaned into your neck as you clawed at his back.

“Dean!” Your breath caught in your throat, “harder, p—please.” You whined loudly.

“Fuck, baby.” He kissed you, sniffling your moans for a moment, “You take me so good.” He kissed you passionately.

“I’m close, baby.” You moaned and tangled your fingers in his hair on the back of his head.

His hand gripped your hip and tilted it slightly to allow him go deeper into you making you arch your back at the new angle, “I love you, Y/N.” He moaned, “I love you so fucking much.” He dropped his head into your neck, his hand released your hip and made rough circles on your sensitive mound as his thrusts became more irregular.

“Come with me, Dean.” You dug your fingernails into his large bicep and looked deeply into his eyes. You leaned your head up to pressed your lips onto his, “I love you too, Dean.” You said through the kiss, “So. Fucking. Much.” You moaned as you came again.

“Shit, Y/N!” Dean moaned as he closed his eyes tightly when your walls clenched down on him. His body slumped onto yours, his head lie on your chest as he listened to your heartbeat beginning to slow down as the two of you came down from your peaks.

He pulled out of you and rolled over off of you and reached his arm out to pull you close to him. His hand rubbed your arm lovingly, “I’m so glad you’re back, Y/N. I missed this…us.” his voice rumbled, “I love you.”

[vinylackles]

family history

word count: 3,000

requested by: anonymous

summary: when two random kids find the bunker and come asking for help, Dean’s ready to kick them to the curb until he learns their last name... Winchester

to avoid having lots of abbreviations for names, I’m gonna go ahead and name the kids!! Kai is 15 and Charlie is 5! Also sorry about switching POVs so much, I just wanted to tell different aspects of the story!

all my works || request imagines here

It was quiet in the bunker besides the hum of the air conditioning and the sound of Dean’s pen scratching notes into his journal. Sam was out on a supply run - your stash of summoning ingredients was running dangerously low, which left you and Dean in the library for the afternoon. In between hunts you often enjoyed peaceful days like this, reading through the newspapers looking for anything that seemed out of the ordinary. 

That was interrupted harshly by two rather loud knocks on the door. You and Dean exchanged a look across the table. Sam had a key, and you weren’t expecting any visitors. You both stood up, pulling your guns from your back waistbands and heading for the door. 

KAI’S POV:

“Now remember, it’s 20 years ago. Aka, they have no idea who we are. So don’t say anything to them, okay?” He warned his younger sister. 

“I just want mommy and daddy back,” Charlie crossed her arms, half in annoyance and half to cover her shiver. 

“Okay, but just don’t say anything. They’re here, Dad always talked about this place. He took me once before you were born,” Kai said. As if on cue, the door opened slowly and out stepped Dean. He looked much younger than the Dean that he knew, but it was the same man alright. 

And behind him, no doubt with another gun was his mother, Y/N. She was looking at him in confusion.

“Hi. Um, were lost and we need a little bit of help. Could we come in?” Kai put on his best innocent face, but he knew his dad, and he knew he wasn’t going to let anybody into the bunker, no matter what.

“Sorry, no can do, but if you’ll just let me get my car I can take you kids to the nearest police station and get you some help.”

“Oh. It’s just that we came all the way from Poughkeepsie, we dropped everything and ran and I was hoping that you could help us.” Kai gave the code-word a shot, just to see if it would ring a bell. Before he could move there was a gun pointed directly at him.

“How the hell do you know what that means? Who are you?” Dean demanded.

“Ease up,” Y/N’s voice came from behind him.

“You use it with Uncle Sammy sometimes when you go hunting. It’s a secret code,” Charlie chimed in from beside Kai, proud of herself for remembering the word. Kai groaned, thinking that she blew the whole thing.

“Uncle Sammy?” Y/N asked, stepping forward. She was still staring at Kai as if he was the most peculiar thing that she’d ever seen. 

“Yeah, Daddy’s brother Sam.”

“What’s your name sweetheart?” Y/N bent down, looking at the girl very closely. She had the same color hair as her mother, and many of the same features too. 

“Charlie. Charlie Jo Winchester.” She said proudly. 

Y/N froze, and it took her a few moments to compose herself before she stood back up and looked at Kai.

“And your name?”

“Kai. Well, technically I’m Samuel Kai Winchester, but I go by Kai. Having two Sam’s would have been confusing I guess.” He scratched the back of his head a bit, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation.

“Nice try. Who sent you here? Who told you about this place?” Dean wasn’t letting up, though he had lowered his gun a bit.

“You did. I’m your son. You know it’s possible, you went back twice in time to help Grandma Mary,” Kai said.

Dean’s gun dropped down fully now, and Kai breathed a sigh of relief.

“C’mon, lets get you guys inside, it’s cold.” Y/N murmured, taking Charlie’s hand and leading them into the bunker.

READER’S POV:

“What’s your favorite cartoon?” You asked, still unsure of how to handle the whole situation.

“Scooby-Doo is cool! Daddy watches that one with me sometimes,” Charlie beamed up at her from underneath her blanket. You found an episode for her and clicked it on. She was curled up in a ball in Dean’s “man-cave” recliner, totally content.

“You can leave her there, she’s actually pretty low maintenance,” Kai reassured you. He still looked nervous, probably because of the death stare that Dean was still giving him. 

“So... you’re my kid?” Dean finally broke his silence, his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall.

“Well, technically I’m both of your all’s kid, but yes.”

“Prove it. Where was I born?”

“Lawrence, Kansas.”

“What car do I drive?”

“67′ Chevy Impala. Black. And you call it baby all the time, which I still find super weird, by the way,” Kai said, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Dean, he’s telling the truth. How else would he have even found us here, this place is totally off the map. What happened? How did you end up in our year?” You interrupted before Dean could ask anything else. 

“I think it was some spell. My parents... well, you guys I guess... had to go out to help Uncle Sam on a hunt. Charlie was messing around in stuff she wasn’t supposed to, and my best guess is she got into one of the curse boxes downstairs. Next thing I knew we were here, and I begged for some money for a bus ticket to get as close as we could to the bunker. We walked the rest of the way. I figured if there was any chance of finding you guys, it’d be here,” Kai explained. 

“You were smart to come, if there’s anywhere that would have an answer it’s probably the library. We’ll start looking, Dean call Sam to get him back here to help. We’ll figure it out,” you reassured him, patting his shoulder. When he looked up at you, it was like you were looking right into Dean’s eyes. You could see pieces of yourself in his features too - not as much as his sister, but your DNA was definitely there. You couldn’t help but trust him. 

“Thank you. I know this has got to be really weird for you all,” Kai said.

“How many years back are you anyways?” Dean asked.

“20. You all look a lot younger, that’s for sure,” he smiled.

“Alright, easy kid,” Dean rolled his eyes, turning and heading for the library. Kai turned the opposite way, walking over to find his sister fast asleep in her chair. 

“Is there somewhere closer to the library I can lay her down? We traveled for two days, she’s exhausted.”

“You can put her in Dean and I’s room.” 

Kai scooped her up, carrying her very carefully down the hall and tucking her into bed. You could see how much he cared for her in just those few moments, and it warmed your heart. You had an odd sensation within you to care for these children, even though they technically weren’t yours... yet?

You left her to sleep, leading Kai to the library instead of dwelling on the oddity of the whole situation. Dean was finishing his call with Sam, phone wedged between his ear and his shoulder as he pulled books off the shelf that he thought would be useful. 

“Well, I hope you like reading.” Dean gave a half-hearted smile, dropping the books on the long table. 

“Lore I can deal with. English class, not so much,” Kai chuckled, picking a book out of the stack and sitting down in one of the chairs.

“You read lore?” Dean’s expression changed ever-so slightly, and if you didn’t know him so well you probably wouldn’t have caught it. But you did know him, and you knew that little slip was because the one question he hadn’t asked yet was seemingly answered - Kai was a hunter, just like his father. The one thing Dean never wanted for his kids.

“In my free time sometimes. The journals are more interesting than the books though. You brought all the important ones from the bunker to the house,” Kai shrugged, leaning back and propping his feet up on the table - just like Dean did when he read. 

“So, what’re we all hunting these days?” You asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit as you picked a book as well.

“Last one you two were on was a wraith in Nevada I think.”

“Where were you and Charlie?” You couldn’t help but ask. He didn’t seem uncomfortable any more, so you didn’t mind to push the envelope a bit.

“Oh, we were home. I don’t hunt. You two don’t hunt much either unless it’s within a few states or Uncle Sam needs help. I just read about all your all’s cases incase something were to happen. I used to not care as much, but Charlie doesn’t know how to shoot yet so I starting reading up a bit more once she was born.” 

“I never thought we would hunt if we had kids,” Dean mumbled. You were surprised at his honesty.

“You didn’t, for a long time actually. Not until I was about 8, and then I found your journal cause I’m a nosy little shit. You had to explain it to me then, everything, and I wanted you out hunting monsters because if you weren’t hunting them, I figured they were hunting us. Seemed to be enough for you all. You stopped again when Mom was pregnant with Charlie, and you only got back into it last year,” he explained.

“Well, I’m sorry you have to deal with all this,” Dean said. You kept your mouth shut.

“Don’t be sorry. I think it’s badass. So does Charlie,” Kai offered a smile, sighing a bit as he opened the book and began to read. 

Dean watched him for a moment, smiling at the young man in front of him. He could see a lot of himself, not just in his features, but in the way he carried himself. It gave him an odd sense of pride. 

The next three hours were spent sifting through book pages, to no avail. It was hard to look for a solution when you didn’t even know what the problem was. 

“Kai, let’s go check the archives, theres a bunch of hunter’s journals down there,” you suggested. He stretched back in his chair before getting up to follow you down the hall.

DEAN’S POV:

It was odd, seeing essentially a younger version of himself walk down the hallway after his girlfriend. He shook his head, trying to focus on the book in front of him. It probably wasn’t going to have anything - hell he wasn’t even sure that the book was on the right thing. Where was his nerd brother when he needed him? 

He believed Kai. He really did - he knew how frustrating it was to be back in time talking to his own mother and trying to convince her of who he was. But he still wasn’t sure how exactly he was going to help the kid.  

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of small footsteps coming down the bunker hallway. With her hair in a disarray and one hand rubbing her eye, Charlie came down the hallway rather slowly, obviously disoriented. 

“Daddy?” Her voice was small, and it wasn’t until he heard the tremble in it that he realized she was crying.

Something squeezed at Dean’s heart - he couldn’t explain it. This wasn’t his kid, not really. But he was still her Dad. She didn’t know any better, and he could see in her eyes that all she needed was him right now. 

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean stood up, coming to meet her. He was about to crouch down to her when her arms went up in the air, reaching for him. Of course, he obliged, lifting her up into his arms.

She rested her head on his shoulder, her soft hair tickling at his neck. Her tiny arm was wrapped around his neck, little fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. She was a spitting image of Y/N, the most precious little girl he’d ever seen.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, rubbing a hand along her back. 

“Bad dweam,” she said, hugging Dean a bit tighter. 

“Tell me what happened,” he encouraged, going over and sitting down in one of the chairs.

“There was a bad monster in my room, and I woke up and didn’t know where I was.” She hugged him a little tighter, and he wrapped his arm around her protectively.

“You’re safe now, it’s okay,” he soothed her as best he could, but her little body was still tense. 

“Daddy, are you mad at me?” She asked quietly.

He took her underneath her arms, leaning her back so he could look at her. Taking his thumbs, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. She looked up at him with bright green eyes that matched his perfectly.

“Now why would I be mad at you?” 

“I found a box in the basement, and I took it to show Kai, but I opened it and then we were in a field all of a sudden. I didn’t mean to!” Her bottom lip quivered as she spoke. Dean could remember the few times that Sam had admitted to doing something wrong when he was this age, and how mad he had gotten. He took it as a bit of a second chance.

“You didn’t do it on purpose?” He asked.

She shook her head back and forth quickly.

“Then I’m not mad. Can you tell me what the box looked like?” 

“It was purple, with gold stuff I think,” she said, rubbing at her eyes again.

“Okay, that’s good! That’s really good. Are you still tired?” Dean asked.

She shook her head again, yawning in the middle of it.

“Uh-huh, sure you’re not,” Dean chuckled, standing back up with her in his arms. She laid her head back down and he began to pace, lulling her back to sleep. She stirred for a bit, but she got heavier against him as she finally gave in a went back to sleep. 

As if on cue, Sam came through the door.

“Shhh!!” Dean cautioned, reaching up to cover Charlie’s ear as he came down the stairs. Sam’s eyes grew wide as he dropped the summoning ingredients off on the table. 

“Is that.. her?” He asked.

“No, it’s some random girl I found in the basement, yes it’s her,” Dean rolled his eyes, continuing to bounce her a bit. 

“She looks exactly like Y/N...” Sam seemed a bit mesmerized, looking at her as if she was a doll as she slept on his brother’s shoulder.

“Got my eyes though,” Dean smiled a bit at the thought.

“So that’s my niece..... that’s so weird man.”

“Congrats Uncle Sammy,” Dean teased. “She did tell me how she got her and her brother sent back to our time though. Said she opened some purple box with gold writing that we had in the house. Ring any bells?” 

“Oh shit, we have that curse box here!”

“Language,” Dean warned, earning an eye roll from his brother.

“If it sent them 20 years back, we could do a reversal spell on the box and open it again and it should send them 20 years ahead again.”

“Should? I’m gonna need a little more than that Sam, these are my future kids were talking about here.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. I’ll make some calls. You wanna find the box?”  

“Little occupied,” Dean murmured quietly, nodding towards Charlie.

“Right, I’ll go find Y/N and Kai,” he said, heading down the hallway and out of sight.

After a few presumed phone calls and another hour, Sam, Y/N and Kai returned from the archives with the box and a few spell ingredients. 

“Triple checked, it’ll send them back to their year. Kai, you ready?” Sam asked. The young boy nodded, walking over to Dean and his sister.

“I can take her. Don’t want her to get left behind, that’s for sure. You’d kill me,” he chuckled. Dean passed the little girl off to her brother, surprised at how sad it made him.

“Bye guys. I guess we’ll be seeing you very soon,” Y/N smiled, though she seemed unsure of what to say.

“Thanks for helping us, and for believing me,” Kai said, moving in front of the box.

“Anytime kid. You take care of your sister, okay?” Dean said, patting him on the back. He nodded, looking towards Sam.

“Alright, well unless we all wanna get blasted to the future we should probably go to the other room. Safe travels,” Sam said, leading the way down the hall. Dean gave one last look at Kai and Charlie before ducking into the room and closing the door. The three of them stood there, hearing Kai’s muffled incantation followed by an odd whizzing sound.

Y/N opened the first door, and sure enough the pair were gone.

20 YEARS LATER

Kai landed hard on his feet, the jolt waking Charlie up. He dared to peek an eye open, relaxing completely as he recognized the living room of his house. 

“We made it home! Thanks bubba!” Charlie cheered, hugging her brother again. 

“Anytime. Just, no more pretty boxes okay?” He chuckled, hugging her back. He was so relieved he barely even heard the thudding of the footsteps down the hall until they were in the room. 

Dean and Y/N came stumbling in, their eyes wide in panic.

“Oh thank god!” Y/N exclaimed, running over and pulling both of them into a hug. Dean was next, wrapping his arms around all of them the best he could, so thankful to have his kids back in his arms.

“Where were you all?” Dean asked.

“Well, it’s kind of a long story....”

[sammyhale]

J2 JIBCon 2017 Second Saturday Panel

At the beginning of the panel Jared sits on Jensen’s knee and then his phone falls out of his pocket lol.

J2 are given a toy mic and they proceed to throw it in the air for each other so they can kick it around lol.

Jensen: Hey Jared. Jared: Hey Jensen. Do you have a joke about alligators? Jared: What do you call a crocodile in a vest? An investigator. Jensen: Welcome to the dad joke segment of the day. It’s gonna be a punny night. 

Will they do Tough Mudder again? Jensen: We’d love to. Asks the fans to write their wives and ask for some time off. Fans offer to babysit. They will do it again but don’t know when or where but Jensen thinks they will do it again. Jared: Team Naked. 

Jensen looks at Jared and says “hang on.” He reaches to grab a fuzz or a hair that’s on Jared’s chin. Jared attempts to lick him but not before Jensen is able to snatch it lol. Jared laughs gleefully, then tells a story about when J2, Gen and Danneel were out and dinner and Jensen was getting something off of Jared’s face and Jared did the same thing (licking his hand). Jensen: Both of our wives were like, what is wrong with you guys? :P Boys are cracking up.

Fan is asking if there was ever a scene or storyline they read that made them think, yes, this is exactly what my character is. Jared: That’s a fucking great question. The boys talk to each other for a few seconds before Jensen says for this season in particular, Regarding Dean was one of his favorite episodes of the season and series. Because it gave him range of play and allowed him to go from dramatic, emotional to funny and ridiculous. It was a lot of fun. 

Jared: Yeah, and he was great. For Jared, he goes back to Heart, mentions there are some recent ones. Jensen: What was that, like season 3? Jared: Two. Jensen: Two? So 10 years ago you did something you were proud of? Jared: Yep. Did you not? Jensen: No, man. I get better with age. 

Jared mentions Heart, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Sacrifice, Red Meat. Jensen: I will say one thing about this one (Jared) and I’ve said this before. Jensen talks about The End, how it’s one of his favorite episodes of the whole series. He knew it was gonna be a heavy episode. Had to play two different versions of Dean opposite each other. He really worked hard on it, did a lot of homework and prep. It was very difficult. Jensen: and then, asshole here shows up like day 8 in his white suit as Lucifer and like nails it, like out of the park nails it. Well, that just became Jared’s best episode.

As Jensen is praising Jared, Jared is staring at the ground shyly. He nudges and pats Jensen a couple times in thanks. 

Fan says she loved the finale, is wondering if the goggle scene was scripted or improv? It was not scripted. Jared and Jensen were asked to break through a wall that was 18 inches of real concrete. They had them test hitting the concrete. There was a ton of debris flying at them. The boys were like, asking two Texans to do this? Challenge accepted! 

They didn’t ask for goggles at first. Jensen got some debris in his eye. Stunt coordinator came in and said: “These guys get eye-wear, period.” He said they would put in stunt doubles if they didn’t have goggles because it became a safety issue. They were “beating the shit” out of the wall. Their props lady, Robin, found some old school leather goggles. Even with the goggles on, Jensen would hit and kind of turn away because the rock was like cutting his face. They were going at it. The crew had told them: You can’t get through this. J2 looked at each other like, let’s do it. Jensen: You don’t challenge us with like physical feats. They were beating on the wall longer than what was shown in the episode. They were proud and they broke through. The set design and art department were like how did you break through 18 inches of concrete in like 60 seconds? Jensen: ‘Cause we’re awesome, that’s why. Jared: I believe we said, because we’re not the Losechesters. J2 both do a mic drop. 

Question about their friendship. Boys joke that their relationship is like a friendship prison for 12 years. They then answer seriously. Jared: “You know what’s fun? Somebody told me one time that their definition of friendship was when you could be around somebody and be silent. He and I fly a lot together from Vancouver to Austin...and a lot of times we’ll be around each other for 3, 4, 5 hours with not a word said. And it’s not weird.” Jared says it’s one of the coolest things for him. There’s no need to fill any void. They get each other. Maybe they’re reading scripts, watching a movie, etc. Jared loves being able to “experience this cool life with somebody” that you don’t have to talk to. Jared knows that sounds weird, but he means it. They can be together in that silence when one of them is tired or doing something, and feel absolutely comfortable and not awkward. Jared pats Jensen’s chest. 

Jensen answers by saying that he and Jared have a shorthand of communication that exists between them. Jensen: “It really makes the relationship easy and, you know, comfortable. He and I have quite a shorthand.” Jared demonstrates how they know each other so well that Jensen can be like hey candy and toss it at Jared and Jared will catch it no problem because he knew it was coming. Jared tosses Jensen candy on stage and Jensen catches it. Jared: “Like that kind of shit.” Jensen: “I knew he was gonna throw that. Like oh, here we go, and there it is. 

Jensen: “There is a shorthand between he and I that exists. We don’t have to look at each other, we don’t have to say anything, it’s a real friendship. And it’s a real connection with another human being that is rare and it’s cool and great and I’m glad that he’s in my life.” <3

Jared is looking at the ground again and gives Jensen another pat on the chest. 

A fan says Sam and Dean and Jared goes: Salmon Dean? ;) 

Fan asks about Cas’ death scene. Jensen says what was going through his mind was that it was 5 in the morning and he was tired and wanted to go home and Misha was really making a meal out of it and it “was like God, just die, so we can go home and be done with this.” Jensen says in all seriousness that it was a hard scene because the brothers didn’t have a lot of time to react to everything that had happened; the brothers didn’t process what had just happened. Probably get more of that reaction in season 13. Jared: Or not lol. 

Jared says it was a hard scene to shoot, lots of stuff going on and it was discombobulated. Jared talks about how life doesn’t always happen how you expect it to. Jared enjoyed the abrupt, abrasive nature of Cas dying the way he did because it goes along with what life is like, how things can happen suddenly. They’re interested to see what happens in the first script of next season. 

Jensen: Hey Jared, give me your best Irish accent. Jared: Is anyone here from Ireland? I’m so sorry. He gives a ‘performance’ of his Irish accent, which includes singing about lucky charms and doing a little jig, with Jensen assisting by holding up his mic. Jensen says that it’s impossible for Jared not to moves his knees when he does it lol. 

J2 then discover the wheel on the corner of the stage, which the they spin to tell them what to do. Jensen: Hey Jared. He spins the wheel and music starts playing. Jared makes it land on the card telling them to drink, so Jensen takes a drink. This is repeated a few more times until Jared is laughing so hard he collapses on the ground. Jensen says he doesn’t want to play anymore because the “apple juice” is going to his head lol. 

Jensen looks over at a fan at the mic and asks: “Did we answer your question?” not realizing that the fan hasn’t asked one yet lmao. 

J2 start cracking up again. Jensen stands back up and once again spins the wheel while he and Jared dance to the music. This time Jared drinks. They are putting that whiskey to good use. 

A fan asks a would you rather question and Jared responds with one of his own instead. Whispers to Jensen and asks the fan: Would you rather audibly fart every time you said the word ‘the’ or have to pay $10 every time you say the word ‘and’? The fan chooses fart and Jared says Yes! But Jensen seems disappointed with her answer lol. This all results in Jensen saying Hey Jared, sticking his finger out, and having him pull his finger. 

More spinning of the wheel and dancing ensues. 

There’s a guitar on stage and Jensen grabs it. Jensen grabs it and says: “Hey Jared. Come here and sing something for me.” He says that when Jared spun the wheel it landed on sing or dance. “You spun the wheel, brother.” 

Jensen tries to get Jared to sing as he plays the guitar a bit, but Jared is obviously feeling shy about it. Instead, he messes around with the cards on the wheel. He grabs the one that says to imitate someone else so he impersonates Jensen. He then grabs one that says “Surprise” and presses it against Jensen’s crotch - who doesn’t even flinch and just keeps playing the guitar with a smile on his face while Jared puts the “drink” sign on his own crotch and wanders around the stage. 

Jensen says “Hey Jared” and plays a little song for a second. He then says that having the fans show up is a pleasure in their lives and thanks them. 

Jared removes the sign he put on Jensen as he talks.

Panel ends with Jensen saying that “maybe, just maybe, this *strums the guitar once* will turn into something a little bit more” tomorrow. 

Jensen gives love to the fans, Jared blows the fans kisses and follows Jensen off the stage, giving him a slap on the butt on the way. 

Info via: Periscope, Sil’s livetweet list

[godshipsit]

after that meh buckleming mid season finale of course 12x09, written by our showrunner, was... better. i still think there are way too many things they have to deal with in not so many episodes, but that’s supernatural’s trademark so... it is what it is. enjoy my rambling comment on the episode. 

SPOILERS UNDER CUT

first watch, so im sorry for this lol ..  

1. personal opinion: i hate when the army is involved in any capacity in spn. i already thought that the 12x08 cliffhanger was really unwise, and how they solved the whole prison situation kind of confirmed it for me. 

2. i laughed so much at mick trying to convince the american hunters (depicted as barbarians) that they should trust the bmol. i mean, why should they trust your pretty face. 

3. i didn’t laugh when i realized that cas, despite everything, is part of the supernatural.. and the bmol want to eradicate the supernatural. (i called it here, whatever there is to call)

4. CAS IS SO DEVASTATED BC THE WINCHESTERS ARE MISSING IM CRYING ALL MY TEARS

5. i see that mary projects as much as her son, nice to know. sorry ma’am, blame buckleming for the mess of last episode’s, not cas. 

6. the sequence where we see sam and dean in prison, isolated and counting the days, really stressed me wow. 

7. ok let’s leave out the boring stuff and jump to the juicy stuff

8. dean immediately calling cas for help. the brothers trust him with their lives, and that’s a fact. (also dean knows cas’ number by heart, how cute)

9. if cas and mary had called the bmol immediately, this episode wouldn’t exist 

10. jensen voice: in fact, this episode doesn’t exist 

11. i’m sorry for my salty ass

12. either mick and mr ketch want to bang cas, or they’re extremely interested in him... as an angel. which is scary, for many reasons (many reasons = this whole episode)

13. there’s no way they’ve sent the most incompetent soldiers after sam and dean, those two keep resuscitating, i would’ve blown up the entire secret base and forest. (crowley has always been the smart one btw) 

14. SAM SHOOTING THAT GUY’S FEET AND LEAVING HIM THE FIRST AID KIT IS THE PUREST THING EVER I YELLED 

15. (btw can we stop writing these super secret prisons in the middle of nowhere? can this trend die for good?) 

16. so many epic lines .. “we’re the guys who save the world”. i mean, i personally hate them, but they’re great for edits.

17. hey there cas! how handy that the bmol are the supernatural equivalent of james bond. 

18. nobody helps anyone for free lol, what are these guys up to. 

19. “no loose ends” .. shit, mr sketchy and mick shady are definitely up to no good. they’re fancy af tho. 

20. WHY DO THE WINCHESTERS ALWAYS DO STUPID DEALS THAT ALWAYS HAVE THE WORST CONSEQUENCES FOR OTHER PEOPLE WHY WHY WHY 

21. dean looking at cas for the last time bc he’s clearly thinking of sacrificing himself DO NOT TOUCH ME (also, this scene doesn’t exist) 

22. will i ever stop being salty (i love you jensen)

23. ok so... the brothers being arrested and taken to a super secret prison thing was probably a really effective cliffhanger (no), but how could one solve this impossible situation? easy peasy. here comes the deus ex machina, the pinnacle of lazy writing. nah, okay, it can be a valid plot device, but unfortunately here it sacrifices the only recurring woc this show has ever had. the aggravating factor is that her death comes at castiel’s hand, who then goes on to give one of the most emotional, moving, beautiful speeches this show has ever delivered (misha’s acting was the icing on the cake).   dabb literally tossed a hand grenade and hid behind one of the fan favorites delivering a tear-jerking speech. he’s a good writer, so this wasn’t accidental. i think this has to be acknowledged and discussed. 

24. i understand that billie was probably a carver’s “leftover” (that word is ugly, but i can’t think of other english words rn) they didn’t know what to do with, still there’s no reason, at this point, for lucifer to be still alive while billie had to die to fix a lazy cliffhanger. it’s really insensitive, to say the least. IF she’s really dead.

25. which makes me think of the possibility that she’s not really dead. i know that reapers are angels since s9 (thank you buckleming again), but she wasn’t like other reapers, right? maybe she's gonna pull a rowena and come back, angry as fuck. (someone write a fic about this, and i can assure you it will be better than anything we’re getting next this season) 

26. which, of course, is going to be a huge problem for cas. i know this show has huge problems with canon and loose ends, but whether billie is really gone for good or not, she said that if you break a deal made in blood, “there's consequences on a cosmic scale”. maybe this was just a line to justify cas’ actions immediately after and the billie’s killing, but then cas says this: “You made a stupid deal, and I broke it”.  who cares how he broke it, or that billie is gone, he still broke it. 

27. which brings us back to the bmol... because those guys don’t want loose ends. they want to make america safe again. as mick shady says, he wants a world where “no one has to die because of the supernatural”. if cas fucks up on a cosmic scale, shit’s about to come maybe. 

28. i’m not sure how i feel about billie’s death. she was the only threat to sam and dean. i mean, death is dead, god is on their side, i guess even amara now. these guys are potentially immune to death. so, what can threaten them now? i suppose the fear of losing the people they love. which is scary for reasons. 

29. (tw bad thoughts, also implied suicidal behavior) mary deciding to step up and kill herself to save her children wasn’t just maternal instict, if you know what i mean. cas saved her, recklessly breaking a deal that could have consequences on a cosmic scale. cas isn’t in a good place at the moment. cas has clearly stated that he would do anything to keep the winchesters safe. i’m a bit scared for what’s about to come. 

30. YOU MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME. 

31. cas is always gonna save the winchesters, but who’s gonna save cas....? also I LOVE CASTIEL SO MUCH WOW

32. anyway, this episode hurt, but hurt so good. thank you dabb. 

33. but also fuck you for billie.