#the sex is good mostly

[brattylikestoeat]

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[inkskinned]

you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!

you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.

but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.

so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.

part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.

any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.

(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)

good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.

so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)

you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.

okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.

oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.

[fascinationstreetmp3]

I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.

[cringefailvox]

au where rosie takes vaggie in after her fall instead of charlie, because not many would be willing to endanger themselves to save a cannibal child and rosie respects a woman willing to suffer for her principles, especially when she suffers so beautifully. vaggie is obedient, driven to a fault, loyal and dogmatic but also, desperately, kind and compassionate despite what she's been through, and so willing to throw herself on a sword for rosie's sake after being taken in and cared for—well, rosie just has to keep her. (and the novelty of having an angel in her pocket! why, she hasn't had an ace up her sleeve like this in ages! you can hardly blame a gal for taking advantage.) just vaggie living in cannibal town as rosie's guard dog <3

[mascindulgence]

i think they'd be very silly about it

[slateston3]

People on this site are getting so angry about poolverine so many weird dumb reasons. “It’s too gay it’s not gay enough it’s gay in the wrong way he wouldn’t say that” Shut the fuck up. I don’t care. I don’t care about canon. I don’t care anout your meta. I am going to read poolverine because:

It’s funny

I’m a whore

[humming-fly]

had the unique experience today of being lucky enough to win a plush kirby prize in an ichiban kuji that is Perfect for holding on my lap while I watch things on my laptop, while the something that I was in the midst of watching today was the seemingly most R-rated show netflix has to offer

this on its own is not much of an issue, except for the fact that due to this plush's design and how i had my hands folded over it it looks like kirby is watching along as well, leading to a particularly fascinating contrast in media consumption- here's a visual aid I put together demonstrating this phenomenon:

[adrift-in-thyme]

Welp I made it through the first day back on campus

[b4kuch1n]

the king shunned, the lion dead, the knight lost, the princess absent. but the wizard lives.

[soup-child]

Hello yes, Ron Stampler is asexual. He told me himself. He also does have sex he also told me that. It was a wonderful conversation.

[huldrabitch]

All the DA2 romances alsmost feel a bit unfullfilling to me, are there many others that prefer Hawke single with the subtext of an unspoken Varric thing?

[cctinsleybaxter]

Can everyone please go see Anora so i can talk about how I felt like i was watching the pinnacle of my favorite living director's career and then it crashed and burned in exactly the way i feared it was going to 😔

[crimeronan]

opened up some original fiction notes i fully forgot making six months ago, which are about what sol is about to do to this minor antagonist, and audibly murmured, "oh, jesus Fucking christ."

[deva-arts]

In a distant and unexplored future we see Sera doom spiral in real time. No, they do not lay eggs.

Nathaniel didn't expect a question like that. From Vincent? Probably. But Sera? He is trying his absolute best not to cry laughing.

He is experiencing the thorough breakdown of his paradigms regarding conception while also experiencing the miracle of life etc etc

He also refuses to move because the same hands that he has crushed pumpkins and skulls with are holding a tiny living squeaky thing and that kind of petrifies him.

What didn't happen:

[inimitablereel]

I bookmark pretty much every fic I finish as a way of keeping track of what fic I've read, and I almost always do private bookmarks, so yeah, I feel totally comfortable leaving the occasional negative (or like neutral but in a way I wouldn't send to the author) note for my future self. Except I have now at least twice (over several years) typed that into the comment box instead of the bookmark box by accident and that is Absolutely Mortifying

[usercelestial]

is buck actually good at sex or is he just hot