#the series ends with them agreeing to go to therapy and the implication that that fixes them immediately forever

[dontbreakthechain]

No, really, once you start thinking about Bad Succession you can’t stop. Connor has an epiphany and breaks up with Willa in a melodramatic ‘I’m setting you free’ sort of way, and is immediately rewarded with a new, ‘age-appropriate’ love interest. By which I mean she’s like maybe 35.

Speaking of which, the Roman/Gerri chemistry happens anyway, but the writers freak the fuck out and now all of a sudden Gerri is Roman’s mother figure. Every interaction they have is about that, characters who barely know or care about either of them regularly have conversations about it. Roman immediately gets his own ‘age-appropriate’ (like maybe 22) love interest, she’s a wholesome manic pixie dream girl, she fixes him, she’s Gerri’s daughter. That or Roman gets a real early 2000s coming out plot and shares a tepid peck on the lips with Lawrence Yee, and that fixes him instead. They force Lawrence’s actor to give interviews about how Important that scene and his character are, how much it means to the Asian community, representation matters! Especially minor character in overwhelmingly white tv show representation!

[anonymoushouseplantfan]

Meghan and Harry: Episode 1

Why?

Seriously, why?

Bet let’s start at the beginning. I live-blogged the documentary on my Notes app. I wasn’t originally going to post it because I’ve stopped blogging, but omg, this is truly, as Scobie would say, the endgame. Of course, it’s not the monarchy losing the game. It’s the Harkles, They’ve checkmated themselves.

This was a six-hour own goal. I knew it was going to end badly for them when I saw Sunshine Sachs dropped them. Without SS astroturfing positive coverage all over the place they were doomed anyway.  However, the content of the documentary takes it beyond doom and into truly apocalyptic. I bet it has great ratings. It’s a complete train wreck.

[Edited after first liveblog: Netflix is calling it the most viewed documentary ever, but that’s misleading. It barely held on to The Crown’s audience which was its base number, and I doubt it will have the same staying power. Still, not a bad The Crown companion piece for Netflix.]

But let’s break it down.

Episode 1

Starting with shots in an airport lounge and a rented house looking like absolute crap is the weirdest branding idea I’ve ever heard of. They don’t look relatable. They look pathetic.

[I’m editing this after finishing their series and this opening is even more baffling now. Episode 5 covers their last week of royal engagements. First, that segment is a lot more glamorous and exciting than these sad-sack iPhone videos and they really should have opened with that. Second, Episode 5 shows they were elated and super excited after finishing those engagements. They loved the crowd reactions and the press coverage and were over-the-moon with happiness. These videos are supposedly shot after that and they are all sad and mopey and wondering “how they got here.” It’s a huge disconnect.]

The intro music screams “cheap YouTube production.” So does the stock photo montage. Oh, now it’s home movies…why? This resembles the video tab of a super-basic Facebook couple circa 2014. Netflix paid millions for this? I don’t think they got paid $100m, but I bet Netflix shelled out a tenth of that. They still overpaid.

[Actually, maybe they didn’t. The Crown cost $13 million per episode and they likely paid $10 mil for six episodes of Harry and Meghan which got the same audience.]

Now they are in a house (theirs? Victoria Jackson’s? Oprah’s?) that looks like a Restoration Hardware showroom and they look slightly less pathetic but also like they are in couples’ therapy. Oh, she did know who he was. What a shocker. Dimwit doesn’t seem to realize the implications. I wonder if the filmmaker is secretly mocking them.

[The house is a random rental that is now for sale so I wonder if they get a sales commission for the product placement. https://www.forbes.com/sites/emmareynolds/2022/12/20/montecito-home-where-prince-harry-and-meghan-markle-filmed-documentary-lists-for-335-million/?sh=3285e16b74fa]

My husband is watching with me. He was very confused by Meghan’s comment about how “when the stakes are so high” it makes sense to get the story from them. He doesn’t understand why the stakes are high. I told her Meghan is a narcissist and he didn’t believe me. He used to watch her on Suits and despite my best efforts still thinks she’s Rachel Zane. Anyway, he thinks the house looks like an expensive rehab clinic and now I can’t get that out of my mind. I think they are trying to look like the happy couples in When Harry Met Sally but it does feel like luxury drug rehab therapy full of Restoration Hardware furniture. He also asked me what was going on with Harry’s pupils in the airport lounge video. He thought that was weird. I tell him it's cocaine, but he thinks it's Xanax or something like that.

Montage. “They are destroying us.” “This has always been bigger than us.” Oh, please.

Montecito sunset. I guess this is their backyard? It looked better in the real estate photos. Meghan croons “isn’t it beautiful?” and Archie agrees. All I can think of is that these idiots used to live in freaking Windsor Park and now they have my grandma’s yard (complete with chicken coop and everything).

Walking with Archie. Harry mutters “this is a great love story” while pushing an empty newborn stroller (why? Where’s the baby? Is Meghan carrying the baby?). This is surreal. 

Glamorous wedding shot (a melancholic reminder of past glories, frankly) and it turns into a closeup of Harry’s legs. Eew.

Meghan goes to the chicken coop. There’s a lot of cyclone fencing in this house. 

Back to the Restoration Hardware Showroom. Meghan is in sweats because…I don’t know. Weird Instagram family pics including a sad little birthday party for Archie. Good lord, my kids had better parties than the King’s grandson. This is so pathetic. 

Oh, no. She got the cheap Amazon patio furniture protectors. At least they match the cyclone fencing. 

More family Instagram. They are protecting their kids…by putting them in a documentary?

Did I just see Harry’s underwear??!! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Between the sale of family pics, the family drama, and the plumber’s crack, I’m starting to feel that Meghan married her dad.

Harry talks about consent with regards to his children…but they are too young to consent so it doesn’t really makes sense. Guess he thinks it’s only his consent that matters.

My husband asks if Harry is an addict. I suspect it’s partly his demeanor and partly the inconsistencies in the narrative. Meghan said she’d prefer Prince Harry, and that showed how little she knew about the royals? Media exposure requires consent, but your kids are in a documentary? Harry doesn’t seem to realize that these things make no sense.

I feel the way they structured these confessionals with an invisible interviewer was a big mistake. Oprah’s presence during that interview served to validate their shady claims. She has a lot of credibility so when she nodded and smiled people trusted that. It made their statements credible. Here they don’t have that and all the contradictions are apparent.

They’re in the yard. Meghan is trying to channel Martha Stewart and failing. Martha wouldn’t have cyclone fencing, Megs.

Meghan in sweats in the Restoration Hardware showroom. BIG expensive drug rehab vibes. I bet this is what all the rich women wear at the Betty Ford Clinic. She complains that other people write books about them and “wouldn’t it make sense to hear our story from us?” Actually, Megs it’s becoming painfully clear that the tabloids and royal biographers have made you two look a lot more interesting, glamorous and stylish than you really are. Left to your own devices you two are boring as dry toast.

Really cool shots of London. Whoa, the city looks great! They spent money on these. They probably should have spent that cash making California look good. London is their past and California is their future and so far their past looks a lot cooler and more glamorous than their future.

Tig Instagram pic montage. I wonder who was taking these? She should have rehired the photographer because the family pics she has now are terrible. These were much better. Her Tig life feels a lot more upscale and aspirational than her current Montecito existence which goes to show what good photography can do. LOL, she used the airport with the Ghurka suitcase. Yes, she didn’t know she was going to meet a prince and that’s why she traded in her Rowena for the luggage brand the princes are known to use.

Pics from what appears to be Harry’s private Instagram. Interesting—wait, the Insta rumor was real? What the? Good lord why would you admit that in a documentary???!! This is freaking surreal. Whyyyyy?”

[To those who don’t know. There was a rumor back in 2016 that Meghan was a designated Soho House “companion” and the girls were “advertised” through a private Insta account run by Marcus. If you liked a girl you could DM Marcus and get an introduction…which seems to be exactly what Harry did. I don’t understand why they would mention this in a a documentary. Everyone bought the Violet von Westerwhatever blind date story. They should have stuck to that.]

I wonder how the mainstream audience is reacting to the new instagram story. The original story got a lot of coverage and a critical mass of people may start to wonder what the heck is going on. Even my husband is skeptical and I don’t think he knew the blind date story. 

BTW, the fact that she was following his account was known in Toronto as soon as the relationship story broke. Interesting.

“Friend” talking about Wimbledon. She’s actually Serena Williams agent so I’m not sure why she’s labeled as a friend. Wimbledon, blah, blah, blah. Lol, Again, Meghan’s old life appears a heck of a lot more glamorous than her current one. OMG, she told Serena’s agent she was going on a date with Harry??!! She was telling everyone wasn’t she?

Texting. She was posting all of this to Insta as it was happening which is absolutely hilarious. Actually, this whole documentary reminds of the early days of the relationship when she was posting everything on Insta and leaking stories to US Weekly constantly. They really wanted all of this material out there and waiting until they got paid for it probably took probably took enormous self discipline. Guess they took Doria's "don't give the milk away for free" advice to heart.

I just realized she’s wearing Trevor’s Cartier bracelet during her monologues and that cracks me up. 

More cheap stock footage. Seriously, how much did Netflix pay for this? Endless chat about their first date, which is nowhere near as interesting as they seem to think it is. They should have stuck to the blind date story. It was slightly more interesting. Bad Soho House selfie. 

Nacho shows up as a “friend” and he’s really Harry’s promo buddy. The Silver Tree person was also a Suits director. Everyone is a business contact in this documentary. All these white people in California resort wear are giving me White Lotus Season 3 vibes. 

Baseball hat pics in a messy kitchen…these two are hellbent on shedding whatever royal glamour they had left. Wait, isn’t this an old picture from Toronto? Like real old, first year in Toronto kind of old. What a weird choice.

“Marry someone who fits the mould instead of someone you are destined to be with” followed by a pic of Megs trying to look sexy in a wifebeater shirt. Does the director secretly hate them? He was born in a palace but he had a trailer park heart…she was a tacky actress from the wrong side of the tracks…they were destined to be together selling family pics to the tabloids just like dad…it’s a family traditioooooooon….

Old royal footage…Diana…Charles…childhood photocalls, which Harry seems to resent, but he’s doing the same to his kids in this documentary, so I really don’t understand what he’s thinking. The Diana footage is a big misstep because wow Di was charismatic and these two losers can’t hold a candle to her. 

Thirteen whole minutes of archival footage, most of it stuff his parents “consented” to, and lots of whining about press intrusion. Dude, you’re in a reality show. You’re putting your kids on television. Know where you stand.

Then a slew of private couple pics that they really should have kept private. Love the wallpaper. Bet that was Frogmore. The documentary is rather disorienting. I can’t tell what house they are in or when the pictures were taken.  

Boom. “So much of what Meghan is and how she is is so similar to my mom.” My husband actually rewinds this part to make sure he heard right. Pic of Diana with her kids in the garden and then another pic of Meghan with her kids in the garden. Very similar gardens. Not so similar women.

“He wanted to marry his mom?” my husband asks. 

Cringe video of Archie with a Diana photo. “I didn’t want history to repeat itself,” Harry says.

“He did want to marry his mom,” my husband says, amazed. “So he can save her this time.” Shaking his head. “This is nuts but it’s television gold. Did the brother marry his mummy too?”

“No,” I said. 

“And the brother is the one who gets to be king, right?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good.”

More monologue about their courtship. Lol, they really did leak the handholding painting to the press. Footage comparing Megs to Di and it’s painfully obvious she’s nowhere near as charismatic. 

Diana’s death and more archival footage. This documentary is a humongous downer, isn’t it? Childhood friend of Harry’s I’d never heard about. Was he invited to the wedding? I don't think so. Strong White Lotus vibes coming from this guy.

Diana’s funeral. Harry’s drug scandal. Hellraiser Harry. Bitching about paparazzi. No mention of Vegas, which is weird. You’d think that would be the big traumatic story about media intrusion. I guess he only wants to blame the UK media and Vegas was a TMZ story in the states and the UK media wasn’t allowed to print the pictures so it doesn't fit his narrative.

More whining about royal photocalls…except for the Lesotho photo ops which Harry didn’t seem to mind. Bit of a disconnect there because those were royal pr as well. In fact, it was the way the royals rehabilitated his image after the drug scandal. Seems like Harry only hates the royal pr he can’t personally monetize. Why isn’t Sentenbale getting a shout out? You’d think he would plug the charity here (Audi, Soho House, and JP Morgan got very obvious brand placements) but if he did I missed it. [Edited: Should have added the house to the list of product placements]

LOL, Prince Seesio straight out says that the Lesotho vacation was a response to the bad press in the UK. They should have briefed him better. I don’t think he was supposed to say that.

Botswana vacay with Meghan. Wow, the Daily Mail made this look a lot more glamorous than it actually was. This wasn’t exactly glamping, was it? Were there showers? No, best to not go there. No charities are mentioned. No mention of the “love” bracelets, just a Daily Mail article shot.

More whining about press intrusion then private Halloween pics that really should have stayed private. Lol, they went to a party with Eugenie after the relationship was leaked. Tell me you leaked the relationship without telling me you leaked the relationship. I bet Meghan wanted to post this on her Insta and Jason didn’t let her. I wish they’d let her. The press reaction to the Call of Duty costume would have been epic.

Harry doesn’t seem to be catching on. If you were in disguise and no one knew you went to this party except Meghan, Jack and Eugenie, then who exactly leaked it, Harry? Because we knew about it a day later.

That’s a Toronto newspaper, the same one that had the leak about Meghan following Harry’s private account. At the time the evil British tabloids were actually under the impression Harry was still in England and had cancelled a trip to visit Toronto.

The other outlet who got the scoop early was our old friend US Weekly, and the byline was by a then-unknown gossip hack called Omid Scobie. Given what we know now about their relationship with Scobie. Yep, I think these two just confessed to leaking stories about their own relationship.

The DM had to quote the Toronto paper and US Weekly when they finally broke the story on the other side of the pond.

Interesting that Meghan and Harry’s “new and improved super real love story” is the one that was being leaked in Toronto and not the one that the evil UK tabloids had supposedly uncovered through nefarious means. I don’t understand why they are changing the story, though. The blind date wasn’t a tabloid rumor. It’s what they themselves said during a BBC interview. 

End of episode. Overall, I feel this was a huge missed opportunity. Not much about his work in Africa or her UN/One Young World work. We hear about Harry’s photography but barely see it. It’s their chance to tell their story and their story is “we’re boring and tacky people who sell pics of their kids.” I feel they really wanted to put the “real” story of how they met out there—the IG dog pic, the Call of Duty costume, the crappy Soho House selfie. It reminds me of her old Working Actress blog where she was constantly stressing how unglamorous acting life really was. 

I’m not blown away by the quality either. Their home movies feel cheap and curiously inauthentic. They should have run everything through a filter to make it feel coherent and cohesive. The stock/archival footage is sometimes great (London and the royal family), sometimes cheap (Soho House), sometimes missing (California), and sometimes misleading (pap shots of Chelsy, Cressida and Kate that are narrated as though Meghan was the victim). 

The documentary lacks the authoritative tone most documentaries have. You really feel it’s “their” side of the story and not the “real” story. I think the problem is how they switch from the couples’ personal narrative, confessionals, and personal pics into historical pictures and public royal narratives. The institutional credibility of the royal shots makes the personal material feel biased and unreliable. The videos of Charles and the kids interacting with photographers, in particular are massive own goals because they remind the viewers that everything, including Meghan and Harry’s pictures and videos, includes invisible photographers. It’s just that the Harkles are hiding that from us, whereas the royals are upfront about it. The confessionals in the rehab setting, in particular, were huge mistakes, imo. They feel like reality show confessionals (like the ones the Housewives franchise uses) and viewers are trained to see those as unreliable narrations. Using someone else's house was also a bad idea. It feels fake.

The whole thing feels very chaotic and unconvincing. My husband thinks they are both addicts and I remember thinking that when they first started doing their beanie hat appearances. I ask him why and he cites the dilated pupils, contradictory narratives, family resentments and couch-surfing at other people’s housing. He says it’s standard junkie drama.

Other family members are watching and most of the group chat (lawyers and social workers) reaches the same conclusion: even the royals have junkie kid drama. The social worker says she has tons of clients like Meghan and the all sound the same. “They’re trying to destroy us.” “It’s a great love story.” “I don’t know how we ended up here.” “What happened.” They are all more interested in having their side of the story validated than in actually fixing the problem and they just repeat the same family dynamics over and over again. That’s why Harry is showing us pics of his kids in the house/garden/vacation right after complaining that his parents showed the world pictures of him, his bother, and his cousins in the house/garden/vacation.  She noticed that he posted a pic of himself in military gear (the Halloween pic) as an adult and a similar one of himself a kid. He also posted skiing pics with the royals and then similar pics in the sand in California. She’s says he’s basically re-living his childhood and trying to get it right this time. 

I didn’t expect many people in my family would be interested in this, but they are all having fun psychoanalyzing these two. Everyone thinks this is Harry rewriting his past so he gets to save his mum this time. Meghan’s motivations are less clear. No one believes she didn’t know who he was. The psychologist says it’s weird that Meghan’s side of the love story was just “it was exciting…we just got to know each other….” Her motivation is not that clear, although there was that one story about wanting to be protected from the elephants in the tent. Opinion is split with half the chat thinking she wanted to be rescued by Prince Charming and the other half (the psychologists and social workers) thinking that as an actress her fantasy would be A Star is Born. The psychologist says those two are not that different. In the Prince Charming fantasy you get rescued by an individual and in the Star is Born fantasy you are rescued by an institution, i.e., the studio or Hollywood. She thinks her fantasy was A Star is Born and that’s why she’s so resentful now. I think we’d discussed that in the blog before. Interesting to hear someone else saying it. Meghan didn’t want a love story where she was rescued by Harry, she wanted a Hollywood success story where she was acclaimed as a star by the palace. She didn’t get that and that’s why she’s still upset even though she got the Prince Charming love story. That’s not what she wanted. Harry got the fantasy he wanted, so he’s not as upset. 

Not much support for the theory (mine) that she was manipulating him consciously. Everyone seems to think it’s a case of two mental illnesses falling in love, along with junkie drama. That’s why Harry is so amazed at their “fantastic love story.” He wanted to marry his mum and she wanted to be his mum. That’s a pretty unlikely combination. 

I’m very curious about the “friends” featured in this episode. No Jess, no Markus, no Misha Nonoo, no one from the Suits cast except Abigail Spencer, and no Janina. Everyone seems to be a business partner of some sort. Cory was missing also, but it makes sense that she wouldn’t mention him. Reitman’s wasn’t mentioned either but I guess she doesn’t want to give them press.

I don’t understand why they didn’t lean into the charity work angle. She was doing One Young World and he was working Africa. Her "You can be Both" essay wasn't mentioned either and I feel they should have led with that instead of going with her “single girl trip” and the not-so-glam Botswana vacation. I also don’t understand why we didn’t see more of Harry’s supposedly amazing wildlife photography. After all, they are trying to build a career as documentary producers. You’d think that would be relevant. The big takeaways from this episode are: Meghan is mummy and I saw history repeating itself so I had to save her. “Save Mummy” seems like a weird narrative to craft a brand around, but my husband is right. It’s television gold.

On to the next episode.

[inkandarsenic]

My thoughts on the new episodes:

- love the info dumping right off the bat therapy really did wonders for 15

- “Most of the universe is knackered, babes” ok 1) 15, i love you so much, and 2) why do I get the feeling that the reason most of it is knackered is because of you, bestie?

- “Why did I run?” That’s what you do babe. It’s like your whole thing. please don’t ask dumb questions

- ruby reminds me so much of rose and it is 1000% because of the way that Space Babies parallels End of the World so hard

- Ok so getting the feeling that it’s less “the therapy worked wonders” and more “we’re pretending that it worked wonders” because a lot of this conversation is feeling like 15 is masking his true feelings

- space babies crack me up, the cgi to move their mouths was weird and the babies themselves looked so confused to be there at all times it was great

- Ngl him scaring them more than once and then laughing a little feels very on brand for the doctor

- Ruby continues to confuse me, who are you Ruby Sunday, I want answers. very excited to see where this story arc is going

- QUEEN CHARLOTTE????

- societal parallels punching me in the face I love it this show is so back

- Ok saying you’re an ugly bug is a lot less effective when you’re Ncuti Gatwa and your past incarnations have always been attractive

- Eric the perpetually confused looking baby I love you

- this monster is very much reminding me of the sleep-sand monsters from that one twelveclara episode, sleep no more

- 15 babes I swear to god throwing yourself into open airlocks because you’re relating too hard to the monster of the week better not become your thing

- love him telling ruby “no going to meet your mom” immediately like babes does not want a repeat of the Father’s Day disaster with rose

- THE SCAN OF RUBY??? some things truly never fucking change

- ngl i feel like playing the banned chord that invites the devil in is a Bad Idea

- MR TIMOTHY DRAKE??? THEY REALLY NAMED THIS MAN TIMOTHY DRAKE AND CALLED HIM A GENIUS AND THEN KILLED HIM I CANNOT

- the maestro is terrifying. why are they making eye contact with me I don’t like that

- oh wow the first time the theme song has ever made me uncomfortable

- I love that 15 looks physically pained by the music that’s being played

- the notes that Paul says and the theme that plays? Reminds me of the piano notes at the end of the Doctor’s theme from way back in series 1 with Nine, sounds very similar

- oh Ruby you sweet summer child you haven’t been traveling long enough to recognize that tone

- here’s a thought: do you think maybe the Doctor is one of these celestial pantheon beings? That they would have been like the Toymaker and the Maestro if they hadn’t been abandoned in this universe?

- I’m really starting to hate 14 for inviting the Toymaker into the universe again. He just had to invoke superstition at the edge of the universe.

- ah yes the age old tradition of breaking the TARDIS

- the doctor hearing non-diegetic music has many implications I refuse to think about right now

- RTD never fails to have unsettling villains

- so Ruby seems to be the new impossible girl, which is appropriate because she looks so much like Clara

- also WHO WAS THERE I JUST WANT TO KNOW

- “the one who waits is almost here” what does that mean. we’ve met the embodiment of play and now music, who else are we going to meet?

- musical number at the end feels so Disney

- also did anyone else notice that the Harbinger kid was back at the end? Does anyone else think that’s going to come up again?

I love that we’re diving into and learning more about the Toymaker and his whole pantheon of celestial beings but do you know what this would be an absolutely perfect point to reintroduce?

THE SATAN PIT AND ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IT DID NOT ANSWER

I’m gonna link the post where I rant about it here but please someone say they agree with me

[forthegothicheroine]

How other great detectives would solve the Chesapeake Ripper murders

A series I do sometimes.  For the purpose of this post, I will be assuming Hannibal does not have protagonist protection.  I will also do my best not to assume that any of these detectives have protagonist armor, either.

Columbo: Columbo is immediately suspicious when Hannibal says that he “transferred his passion for anatomy into the culinary arts.”  When Hannibal talks about his hobby of collecting news clippings about church collapses, Columbo knows for sure that only a serial killer would do that.  He keeps needling at Hannibal, being incessantly polite, asking a series of innocuous questions, mentioning that his wife has been urging him to go to therapy and can Hannibal tell him anything about that process?  Hannibal can tell he’s smarter than he seems, but doesn’t realize just how smart.  He’s also smart enough to finally come to arrest Hannibal with a full squad of burly guys with guns.  Columbo is also very sweet to Abigail and they write letters to each other after the case is over.

Phryne Fisher:  Phryne has an absolutely marvelous time investigating this case.  Hannibal takes her on dates to the opera and fine wine tastings and they have amazing sex.  She also almost has sex with Will Graham, but when he collapses on a chair and beings talking about all the troubles he’s been going through, including encephalitis symptoms, she ends up driving him to the hospital instead.  Between Will’s testimony about how Hannibal has been misleading him about his symptoms and her own secret swiping of keys, she becomes suspicious and investigates the murder house.  When Hannibal catches her, he promises that her death display will be the most beautiful one yet.  She shoots him non-fatally and he gets arrested.  (She may also be arrested for breaking and entering, but Hannibal can’t exactly claim stand-your-ground when he has a basement freezer full of body parts.)  Phryne also possibly sleeps with Alanna.

Sam Spade: I’ll be real here, Sam Spade is probably going to die.  His primary method is deliberately antagonizing people into giving him money, and Hannibal would absolutely put him in his ‘rude people’ recipe cards.  If Spade was clever, he left a dead man’s switch with Effie, and she goes to the police with the evidence folder when Spade’s body is found posed like a statue of a bird.

Sam Vimes: The moment Sam meets Hannibal he mentally classifies him as a vampire, even though he is not technically a vampire.  Hannibal keeps ‘forgetting’ and offering Sam food and drink with alcohol, talking about how harm reduction is much more viable than complete abstinence and generally trying to manipulate him into falling back down the addiction hole.  Sam gets brittle and suspicious in response.  Hannibal drugs him and tries to hypnotize him into believing he saw another character do the murders, but the Inner Watchman in Sam’s head comes to the rescue again and he slams Hannibal over the head with the nearest heavy art object.  Sybil still afterwards insists that Sam go to therapy to deal with his rage.

L: L wastes time going on dates with Hannibal and trying to trick him into implicating himself despite already having plenty of evidence, and Hannibal kills him and puts his head in a candy store.

Poirot: When Poirot attends dinner at one of Hannibal’s parties, he knows as soon as the meat touches his palette that it isn’t really rabbit.  He does his best to hide the fact that he isn’t eating, and whispers to Hastings to do the same.  When he finally has caught Hannibal in enough lies, he accuses him of murder while in a room with him, Will, Alanna, Abigail, Chilton, Able and Jack.  With so many witnesses, Hannibal maintains his cool and says that he’ll call his lawyer and see everyone in court.  When they actually investigate his house and find the human body freezer, Poirot faints.

Philip Marlowe: Every time Marlowe tries to bother Hannibal, the local cops drag him into the station and berate him for hassling a rich person.  He has long conversations with Hannibal when he does get him alone about great literature and the morality of Shakespeare characters.  Hannibal drugs him and tries to convince him he witnessed somebody else commit the murders, but Marlowe is so used to being drugged and seeing ridiculous things that he doesn’t trust any drug trip memories.  He is eventually able to catch Hannibal in the process of cleaning up after a murder, and both shoot each other.  Both survive and Hannibal gets arrested, but Hannibal taunts Marlowe that he will go the rest of his life never meeting anyone who understands him as well as he did.  Marlowe sadly agrees.

Dale Cooper: If Cooper does solve this case, it will take at least a season and a half.  It will be based less on evidence and more on Hannibal having dark energy and his name coming up when Cooper picks it out of a bag of ice cubes with initials carved onto them.  Abigail finally breaks down and confesses everything that’s happened to Cooper, and he tells her she’s not an evil person.  He and Hannibal shoot each other; both survive.  Hannibal goes to jail but continues to influence other people to commit murders from within jail.  Cooper ends up in a coma, and when he wakes up, he reports visions of a feathered stag telling him that he should look for new hair gel.

Kinsey Milhone: Kinsey inherently distrusts smug rich people, and no rich person is smugger than Hannibal.  She spends a lot of time talking to Abigail about their mutual family issues and becomes suspicious of how much her answers seem to have been worded ahead of time by Hannibal.  She tracks him and manages to find him while he’s in the process of cutting someone up.  They attack each other, and it’s pretty much a coin flip as to who survives.  If it’s Kinsey, the resulting story is called C is for Cannibal.

Miss Marple: Miss Marple thinks Hannibal dresses in such a lovely fashion, and he’s so sweet to invite her over for a glass of sherry.  She doesn’t attempt to look around his house or catch him in the act of murder or do anything dangerous, she just compares notes about what’s being said by him, Will and Abigail, and unravels a web of lies to find some definite conclusions.  Jack Crawford and the entire FBI are humiliated that a nosy old lady sitting in her living room figured everything out before they did.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt. 4

I really need a pick-me-up after 2x11, and I feel like 1x7 might be what I'm looking for, so here I am again with another HSMTMTS rewatch. I'm genuinely so excited for both of these episodes, so without further ado, let's jump right into

1x6: She stands for... lies, pressure and very inappropriate suggestions (coming here after 2x11 might have been a mistake, actually)

I honestly don't get why Nini's reaction to seeing Ricky in full Troy costume was so big — he actually looked pretty ok to me. Sure, the wig is a bit too much, but so what, it's cute.

Ahhh my boy Reddy is so adorable in that talking head... 'click!' Gosh, I love seeing him so cheerful! Guess he's embracing his role as part of the crew. As he should.

'I'm home'. Yes, Sebby, and you look so good, too! Gosh, I love this scene so much. I can't believe I'd forgotten about it.

Gina looks beautiful, though — I mean, she looks beautiful in anything, but I really like the Taylor look on her.

Ok, I fully understand everyone's frustration about this picture — it's genuinely so hard to get a good picture of someone jumping up in the air, and I can only imagine what it would be like with six people. A bunch of my classmates tried to do something like that ages ago and, needless to say, it didn't go very well. No good pictures were taken that day.

Ah, Portwell: the early days. Ok, but wanting something and feeling like you have to get it is far from the same thing, EJ. Honestly, these two in their early days as accomplices... this is not the first time they've been like 'X is the same thing as Y' when it's obviously not. I mean, of course, that time they became accomplices because 'we want the same thing' — which, at that point, they didn't.

Ok, but they were in such unison with that 'Not now!'... couple goals! You know, even before either of them had considered the possibility of them being a couple for real.

That's a lot of pressure that Miss Jenn is putting on dear Carlito over there. I mean, he's one of the youngest at the drama club and he has to essentially do her job for her, all while she's not even sure if she'll be able to return to her job. I just... keep reminding myself that these kids are closer in age to my little brother than they are to me (except for EJ, who is precisely in the middle), and then the pressure they're under takes on completely new proportions in my mind. None of them should have to deal with all of this. And no amount of 'trust the process' is making it better.

'Should I just live vicariously through someone else?' Oh Reddy, you should just live for yourself. I mean, the truth is I don't practice what I preach most of the time, but I really do mean this. Just go out there and live your best life. You're not Ricky's therapy dog or anything (that being said, Ricky's getting a therapy dog when?).

What part of 'a forest of boys' does Nini not get? It's simple enough. Just help Carlos do his job, how about that? I mean, he shouldn't have to do everything himself anyway.

See? He cracked. That's what happens when you put all this responsibility on a teen's shoulders and be like 'deal with it'. He was just trying his best, you guys. He did not deserve all the clapback.

Ricky's forced optimism about Miss Jenn and the show is too much even for me. Sure, I know everything turns out mostly alright at the end, but this just sounds like Ricky's on the verge of a breakdown. You know, every time someone's been too unrealistically positive on this show, it has ended in a breakdown. And that's the last thing I want.

I do agree about the simple acoustic version of the song, though. Sometimes simple is the best option.

Major props to Carlos for going up to Mr. Mazzara like that. If someone had bullied me, and especially if that someone was a teacher, I'd never have dared to call them 'Benjamin Mazarra!' to their face. Even when he's on the verge of despair, this boy is still the boldest. And we love him for that.

Is this where the 'Carlos Surname' joke started, though? I had forgotten. It was funny while it lasted.

Ricky doesn't know it yet, but he's seriously playing with Gina's feelings there. And I don't blame him because, again, he doesn't know yet, but I still feel bad for her.

'Despite the 4.3 GPA, I'm actually an idiot.' — EJ is high intelligence, low wisdom, confirmed. Not that this is news, but I really don't remember much about this season, so I'm pointing this out now.

Now forgive me if I'm not feeling for Miss Jenn after 2x11... she did some really unforgivable things there. Still, as much as I want to say a real qualified teacher would not do any of that, my personal experience suggests otherwise, quite unfortunately. Miss Jenn might not be very emotionally mature, but not having legal teaching credentials is not her biggest issue, really. It is precisely her lack of emotional maturity.

OMG, Big Red accidentally invited the entire drama club over! And that, I guess, is half of how Redlyn established themselves as the hosts of every out-of-school drama club gathering. Thanksgiving is, of course, the other half. Gosh, those two were the parents of the drama club even before they were a couple. Guess they're soulmates in that way, too.

Ok, so I didn't comment on this after 2x8 when Big Red did it to Ricky, but now that I finally notice that Seb did it to Carlos, too (I took my time, thanks), I need to talk about the knee touch thing. See, this is exactly the amount of touch I used to be comfortable with (since I'm very touch-averse) — both on the giving and on the receiving end — and it can mean so much when you feel bad. It's a subtle 'hey, I'm here, it's going to be fine', a sort of hug-without-the-hugging... I feel like this is a gesture we don't see enough of in media and it can feel just as intimate as, say, holding hands or cuddling. I don't want to talk about kissing because I don't know anything about it. But I just love how we've got the knee touch depicted by both a romantic pairing and a platonic pairing in the show. Ok, rant over. But I just really wanted to talk about this because, well, I saw myself in it.

'Her past is a little bit sketchy'... I see, Ash has already started writing Truth, Justice and Songs in Our Key, even if she doesn't know it quite yet.

Miss Jenn finding out Mike is Ricky's dad is just as awkward as it should be. Whatever they had going on should have ended right then and there.

'... people in the dramatic arts are insane' — 'Thank you.' — Umm, Miss Jenn, you are not really helping your case there. Quite frankly, you're lucky you've got the allegiance of the entire drama club. I don't think they'd have your back as much after 2x11, though.

Ok, but... Big Red wearing a longcoat just to take it off for the dramatic flair of it all? An icon if I've ever seen one. Also, mad props to Larry for apparently learning this number in record time after Dara got injured.

Oh, and... mad props to all the kids in-universe for writing, rehearsing, and learning this entire number in one night.

So both Seb and Natalie have solo lines in the song... and Seb was promoted to main in s2. So does this mean Natalie will get the same treatment in s3? I mean, that will probably mean they'll try to stick her in some sort of romantic plot, and I really don't need that, but I really, really want her to be a main character.

Also, let's not forget we had our first Redlyn moment in this number... seeing them dance together makes my heart jump with joy!

I won't lie, though, the entire dance number and everything was just a little bit uncomfortable to watch after 2x11... these kids do so much for Miss Jenn, and what does she do? Put insane amounts of pressure on some of them, shuts others down at every attempt to put in a word, favours yet others despite their abysmal performance at the audition, and then has the audacity to tell that same person to jump off of something high, with all the implications attached? Not that I'm naming any names, of course. Ok, this has taken a sudden and uncalled for turn for the dark, so I guess I'll just move right along to the next episode now.

1x7: A world where 'That was terrible!' and 'I'm so happy!' can both be true at the same time

My girl Ash is doing the recap! And she's a pun queen, too. 'Miss Jenn was in hot water, Carlos was a hot mess...' — not pleasant, but so true. But wbk. Ashlyn is the best.

And... Ricky and Nini's on and off chemistry is back on. Good for them, because after season 2, I really needed to see a good rehearsal. But I'm thinking EJ's joy at the end-of-school bell had little to do with Thanksgiving...

That look Reddy gave Ashlyn as she was walking out... might be me digging for breadcrumbs, but I think I just saw the exact moment my boy fell, and he fell hard. Ok, I realise now after I've said this that 'fall' probably isn't the best choice of words, but you know what I mean. Fell for Ashlyn. Not like... oh, never mind.

'So meek, so mild, sword!' I can't really explain it, but I love this line. And I feel like it describes Ash so perfectly: like, she might be meek and mild, but if you cross her, she's armed. Gosh, I love her!

Not the Caswell parents leaving their children alone over two holiday breaks! No wonder these two are the way they are. But they're about to get a beautiful Thanksgiving celebration. [Fun personal fact: the year I was born, my birthday fell on Thanksgiving day. That doesn't mean much in Bulgaria, but my dad works with a lot of Americans so my parents knew about it and I've known this and that about this holiday I've never celebrated since I was very young. I have no idea why I'm telling you this, but Thanksgiving has always reminded me of my birthday for this reason, so... ok, moving on.]

So I know she kind of suggested it, but... why does Carlos think it's his place to invite people over to Ashlyn's? I mean, this was part 2 of Redlyn establishing themselves as the hosts for any out-of-school gathering, but... oh well, it led to a beautiful party with everyone, so... I'll allow it.

I really liked Nini's talk with her grandma. It was really nice, and a very fitting way to remind everyone what Thanksgiving is originally about. I feel like people often forget that when it comes to... literally every major commercialised holiday.

Wow, EJ really is that person where once the tap is open, it can't stop spilling. And I kind of like that look on him. It's a transitional stage between EJ 1.0 and EJ 2.0, and I appreciate it for what it is.

Ahhhh it's Redlyn's first proper 1-on-1 conversation! I mean, it got kind of really awkward really quickly because of — surprise, surprise — Nini and Ricky (and EJ), but those two are so adorable! No more breadcrumbs — we're about to get an entire five-course meal here! Which goes really well with the Thanksgiving setting, now that I think of it.

Gosh, they've never really talked and my boy whips out the 'the only thing I'd ever throw at your face is a brighter spotlight' line right off the bat? Boy is whipped! But like, he is the master of grand gestures where Ashlyn is concerned. Still, in this first moment they shared, he really was like, go big or go home, and home isn't really an option here. But I should have known, it's in his name after all. Gosh, I love both of those two so much! Especially when they're together.

Ok, so... this is a really bad way to meet your mother's new boyfriend. Poor Ricky. As if ringing his mum wasn't hard enough already.

See, when I rewatch season 1, I get where the Rina stans are coming from, but then again, remember when I used to say I wanted Gina and EJ to just be friends? Yeah, that's changed too. Not that I ever shipped Rina romantically — I rarely ever ship a pairing unless they're explicitly stated to have something going on, just because I can't see that sort of stuff very clearly — but I really, really want them (Ricky and Gina, I mean) to be really good friends. Once they get past the awkwardness of their sort of history, I mean.

I miss the good old days when Nini was a nice person... I mean, we kind of (really) had a glimpse of that in 2x11 (I'm guessing she was making up for Miss Jenn's very inappropriate slip-up), but I miss the days before she was this big internet-famous songwriter and actually had to be convinced by Ashlyn that she should write songs for herself... wait, now that I think of it... Ashlyn might have helped create a monster there. Oh well. Still love her so much!

You know, I love the Choosical, but it's all a bit sad, if you stop to think about it for a sec. Just picture little single-digit-aged Carlito making this whole thing up in an attempt to participate in his favourite thing... only to not have anyone to play with for the next ten years. Great, I just made myself cry. The thing is, I relate to that story a bit too much. I remember in preschool, when the rest of the children would play together, I'd sit in a corner by myself and read the only book that was there... over and over, day after day. I don't even remember a single thing about that little book right now, but back then I clung to it like it was everything. And I couldn't very much share the experience with any of my peers, seeing as I was the only kid there who could actually read (my grandma used to be a preschool teacher and she taught me to read when I was 4). So yeah. I went off on a rather personal tangent there. Thing is, I know how little Carlos felt and I'm so happy that he finally gets to share this thing he made with a loving and supportive group of friends. Everything has its time and place, I guess.

'Look, I'm not following Big Red just because he paid me a compliment' — of course not, dear, you know your own worth and we love that for you — but see, when he said that thing that you're referring to as a compliment, he did not lie! You really are the brightest star and deserve the brightest spotlight. See, the thing I love most about Redlyn's compliments to each other is that they're so sincere and state nothing but the absolute truth. Those two just see each other for what they are, and love each other as they are. And I think that is beautiful.

It's so funny to me every time someone gets something wrong and Carlos just walks past them out of nowhere and corrects them without missing a beat. I kind of relate to that side of him, too. Except it's usually about grammar and language in my case, not HSM trivia.

If I were Nini in this scene, and was suddenly put face to face with Emily on the spot like that, I would not have been able to handle it. So props to Nini for handling it.

Yeah, sorry to break it to you, Emily dear, but whatever you're doing is not a Cockney accent. I don't claim to be an accent expert, but I know first-hand what Cockney sounds like and... that's just not it. Even Dick Van Dyke was closer to a Cockney accent in Mary Poppins, and that's saying something. (See, I feel bad criticising any aspect of Emily because her actress is no longer with us, but... I have no idea who let them get away with passing this off as Cockney).

Is this the beginning of Jennzara there? I am loving this.

Of course Carlos was obsessed with Glee as a kid... but wasn't he a bit too young for it when it aired? I know I was, and I'm older than those kids. I mean, I waited until I was emotionally mature enough to watch Glee, and that wasn't until 3 years ago, when I was 18 going on 19. Ok, I'm thinking too much into this. Moving on.

Ahhhhh, Redlyn! Just... all of their moments. But screaming the lyrics of What I've Been Looking For on top of their lungs while looking right at each other... was so beautiful to watch. Give me more of that!

EJ: 'That was terrible.' Seb: 'I'm so happy!' — Moods, both of them. Those two are real-life emojis, aren't they? And we love them for that.

'... without laughing... or killing each other.' — I feel like that last specification was needed given that it's Ricky and EJ we're talking about, and especially what happened last time they had to do a one-on-one exercise during rehearsal. The ensuing scene, however, is the most hilarious thing!

Root beer, huh? Is that the HSMTMTS code for 'awkward' now? I mean, Nini and Gina had a nice talk there, all things considered. I really want the two of them to put the Ricky thing past them and be friends... but we'll see.

Gina is trying to make the sleepover thing look like 'it's not a big deal' despite how big of a deal it obviously is to her... to which I say, good for you, girl, but I wouldn't know. The only sleepovers I've ever had have been with my little cousin who is 9 years younger than me and also insists on sleeping with a very bright nightlight on, which means I can't sleep at all. So yeah, I wouldn't know. But I'm happy that Gina is feeling included.

So this is the exact moment when it becomes clear that Big Red is not telling us the complete truth when it comes to his HSM knowledge... '14 and 10'? Even I didn't know that. I knew 14, but... for someone who allegedly 'hates musicals', my boy has very detailed knowledge of one certain musical movie... I love how it got him a certain girl's attention, though. Not that she wasn't already paying attention to him, if you catch my drift.

Ok, but this hits even harder now than it did the first time — just when Gina has finally managed to make friends, to feel included in their group, her mum has to move her away again. This is straight-up tragic. I'll say it now, and I'll probably say it again when it comes up in the rewatch — Ashlyn is an absolute queen for taking Gina in for the next semester.

'That's sort of what you always do, huh? Take care of everyone else' — yeah, Ash, and you do the same. You two just need someone to do for you what you do for other people. See, guys, this is what I mean. This is why they're soulmates. Because in a world that has more or less forced both of them to put others first, they put each other first. They each get to be the most important person to each other after they've been stepping back for others all the time. And if that isn't beautiful, I don't know what is. I know I'm repeating myself over and over saying this, but... they own my heart and soul and I'm not for sale.

Ok, but Ashlyn's little run after Big Red left was so cute! Girl is... I don't know why I keep using that word, but... falling.

Unpopular opinion: Out of the Old is the best Nini solo to come out of this series to date. Maybe I feel that way just because I relate to it most, but hey, that is a valid reason to like something.

Oof, EJ's losing followers. Oh well, if they're unfollowing him for being too honest, they didn't like the real him to begin with. So good riddance to them.

Yikes... Jennzara fell asleep with flammable stuff left unattended... we all know how that ended, but just the fact that they felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in each other's presence... speaks volumes. So I guess... well, I don't know what exactly I'm saying regarding the fire they caused, but I loved this big little moment they had.

So this is it. That was 1x6 and 7 and, well, they were beautiful, but there are some parts I can't look at in the same way anymore after 2x11. Guess that's the risk of a rewatch. The Redlyn scenes, though — still the best part of both of these episodes. That and a couple of other things for which I don't need to pretend like I haven't seen season 2.

[consumedkings-archive]

ancient names, part x

ancient names, pt. x

A John Seed/Original Female Character Fanfic

Ancient Names, pt x: how large the teeth

Masterlink Post

Word Count: ~7.2k (yes I am a clown)

Rating: M for now, rating will change in later chapters as things develop.

Warnings: Gore/violence, forced used of psychotropic drugs to induce hallucinations, spooky scaries (hi October!), implications of sexual assault though nothing specific, and uhhhhhhh liberal use of a shotgun. And you know, the usual things that come with Far Cry 5. Also, proofreader? I hardly know her.

Notes: So this chapter took quite a while to get around (thank you, writer's block), but it's here! And a spooky update, just in time for October, too! Yes, Elliot is hallucinating basically this entire chapter. What's real?? What isn't??? The world may never know.

I pulled a lot of inspiration from a LOT of medias/myths, so if you think you know what it is I would LOVE to hear from you and see if any of it comes through in my writing the way I want it to!

Special thanks to my lovely @starcrier, who has been a true homie throughout my wrestling with this chapter, and all of the lovelies here on tumblr and on AO3 who have sent in their feedback, chatted with me, and just all in all provided me with the support and inspiration I really needed to get this chapter done! I probably sound like a broken record by now, but the fact that I have managed to write this many chapters at all after finishing my first chaptered fic in a VERY long time just a few months ago is insane to me and certainly would not have happened without y'all.

Okay, sappy notes over. Enjoy! Thank y'all so much again!

She is twenty-four, and she cries under the tent of blankets that Joey has made for them.

It feels like she is seventeen, again, in a little fort that they make, but there are key differences: they are in Elliot’s apartment in the city, and Joey’s face is somber, and in the dark Elliot can feel the guttural, gut-wrenching grief sounds shaking her down to her skeleton.

Blanket tents were never for crying in, before. They were never a place to say, between gasping breaths, that she didn’t know why she let a man that she trusted touch her even when she didn’t want him to. How can she? If someone has never experienced the paralyzing fear of being completely out of control, of being helpless, how could it ever make sense?

Elliot knows that it doesn’t. She knows that Joey doesn’t understand completely, not really, and that it hurts her feelings that Elliot flinches when she moves too quickly, and that it stings to say the name of the man she had been dating—that his name tastes sour, like a venom, on her tongue now—and that when Joey tells her that she needs to tell someone what he did, it draws a noise of agony out of her not unlike the way an animal trapped sounds.

She does not sleep that night, or the next night, or the next, and finally when she is tired enough to be worn down she goes to a therapist. She has to, Joey says, or she will never get a job working with the law in Hope County, and Elliot knows she’s right so she does.

There are a lot of things that the therapist says. Trauma hits her the hardest. It blinks, a neon sign above her head, assigned to her so that all will know: that she is Trauma, that she has it, that it sits in her bones and makes a home out of her. Is that all I will ever be? She wonders. Trauma? Is that all that I have, now?

Each day is a series of motions, one after the other: waking up, getting up, standing and walking and breathing and existing, all the time. Each of those motions exhausts her. She files a restraining order; she goes to therapy; she takes the sleep medication but that is all she wants to take because otherwise she will feel too much unlike herself. She finishes her training with a clean bill of health from the doctor and her therapist and she packs her apartment, which hurts worse than maybe anything else, because each book and blanket and trinket packed away is a constant reminder of the person who had been there, who had stolen her safety from her in the very place that she was supposed to always feel safe.

But Hope County is waiting for her, and that is what she will take comfort in: that there is always a place for her, there.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was the worst-case scenario. In any other universe, in any other life, she would not have let herself be convinced to approach an enemy unarmed. Not even John’s flippant confidence that she could make a weapon out of anything instilled in her the idea that things would be alright, in the end.

That had been the only thought that could keep her going. Once I get Joey and get the hell out of Dodge, everything will be okay, her brain would say. Get Joey, get out. That’s all there is to it.

But that wasn’t all there was to it, anymore, and she knew that; she knew it while her heart hammered in her chest, while her skin itched and burned where the redhead had touched her like he was dripping in acid, while the blood rushed through her head in a violent tidal wave that made her feel like she was going to puke. They had stuffed a wet cloth into her mouth and hauled her away, out of sight of the Seeds, and now she sat—alone, tied, the cloth spit out onto the floor of the cabin they had left her in.

She was somehow both unaware of how much time was actually passing and fully confident that it had only been a half an hour; if she moved her head too fast (which was to say, at all) the world wobbled and swam around her. Elliot finally relented to burying her face into her knees and closing her eyes to try and stop the swimming nausea.

The door clicked open. She saw Ase, first, and behind her loomed the redhead. The woman was taller up close than Elliot would have thought—probably bridging five foot ten—which made the redhead much taller than she had thought, too.

I could kill her, she thought furiously, through the strange haze that had fallen over her. If I got my hands on her, I could.

“Hello, mor,” Ase said. Elliot saw the warmth blooming in her voice, like an aura welling up out of her, red and searing; the realization that they had certainly dipped the cloth in something that would ultimately be worse than just dying-by-chemical-ingestion hit her hard, sending her heart fluttering in a panic. It was the same brand of panic she had felt when John had found her in the field; wildly out of her control, as if she were being puppeted by something else, something larger than her.

The redhead closed the door behind them, and Ase closed what little distance that remained between the two of them, crouching in front of her. Elliot tried her best to muddle through the panic and muster up some hostility, but it was hard, when it felt like the floor was both sturdy and melting underneath her.

“Fuck you,” Elliot managed out, her mouth feeling like it was full of cotton balls. It didn’t seem as though her words had any effect on the blonde, and for a second she panicked, wondering if she had even said anything at all in the first place or if it had just been in her imagination.

“You left Kian with a few nasty bites, didn’t you?” Ase asked, her voice welling with amusement. “I did not want to stuff a tea-soaked washcloth into your mouth, but we couldn’t have you drawing any more blood.”

Elliot’s gaze slid to the redhead—Kian, she thought venomously—and the movement of her eyeballs felt like they were hitching unsteadily in her skull. So they had drugged her, again. What the fuck was it with cults and drugging people?

The woman reached for her, and instinctively, Elliot flinched. The gesture came a few seconds too late; the drug in her system, whatever it was they had soaked the cloth in, was already starting to wear her down.

“You shouldn’t do that,” Elliot said, as Ase untied the rope around her feet and then her hands, “if you want me to stop biting people.”

“I am not worried,” Ase replied sweetly. “You’re already looking more docile by the minute, mor.”

Elliot swallowed thickly; to do so took concentrated effort. “That isn’t my name.”

“It isn’t a name at all,” the blonde agreed unhelpfully, tossing the ropes to the side and coming to a stand. She smoothed her hands across the dark fabric of her dress, and then extended a long, elegant hand. “Now, do you want to see your friend?”

She felt her heart stutter painfully in her chest at the woman’s words. After having been tricked and toyed with by John, it was strange to think she was finally in the home stretch that she had been trying to reach these last few days; that finally, finally, all of her toil and trouble was bringing her back to Joey.

Briefly, the idea that she could take Joey and run--leave the Seeds to their own devices--fluttered through her brain. Leave the Seeds to clean up this mess on their own. Hopefully, the Resistance had already bolted out of Hope County and were well on their way elsewhere. If she grabbed Joey and got out--if she could get in touch with law enforcement outside of Hope County--

Elliot stared at the Swede's hand and tried to gather her thoughts up in one place. It felt too much like they had become marbles, spilling out of her hands every time she tried to focus. She took a breath and then forced herself to a stand, blatantly ignoring Ase's outstretched hand. Just the act of using her legs to stand felt a little like being on stilts; the world lurched and ground to a watery stop around her, and only confirmed, infuriatingly, what Ase had said--that she was in no shape to bolt, or fight for that matter.

"Come along, then," Ase said pleasantly, taking a few steps away from her. Those few steps made it look as though the ground stretched out for miles between them, and her stomach twisted. The blonde looked at her over her shoulder and smiled.

"Kian, help our friend," she murmured. The redhead stepped forward and reached for her, ever obedient to his master, and Elliot immediately gritted her teeth and took an unsteady step backward.

"Kian, don’t," she bit out, mimicking Ase’s honeyed tone as much as she could. And then, less sweet: "If you touch me again, you'll walk away with a lot more than a bite mark, fuckhead."

Kian flashed a smile that felt like a snake against her skin and gestured for her to go on ahead. "Go on, then."

Just being in his proximity again made her skin crawl; it felt still like his hand was around her throat, the heat of his breath against the shell of her ear. Even in the dizzying haze that had settled over her, she felt her heart leap uneasily into her throat at the memory.

Before she realized what was happening, Elliot's feet had carried her out around Kian and out of the cabin, trailing the beacon that Ase had become, a strange green aura undulating around her. I hate this, she thought, watching the way the trees around her shifted and bled into the night sky.

"How—how long was I in there?" She asked, falling into an uneasy pace next to Ase.

"A few hours," she replied, looking over at her. "Felt shorter?"

Yes, Elliot thought, but the word didn't come to her mouth. The ground slid under her feet; the world around her pulsed in time with her breaths, stretching and cinching in equal parts until she found herself standing in front of another of the cabins. In the distance, the sound of the lake water lapping at the shore echoed over and over in her head.

Ase pushed the door to the cabin open, and inside sat Joey Hudson.

She looked tired, days of exhaustion sitting heavy on her face, a dark shadow of sleeplessness and makeup both ringing her eyes. Joey had always been pretty, and now was no exception; the brunette, though her clothes were dirty and her eyes fluttered with tiredness, was just as lovely as she always was. The sight of her had Elliot’s head and heart swimming with emotion, rising up thick and high in her throat until she thought she might come unglued right there, in front of a psychotic woman.

But with the feeling of being on a seesaw unseating her nonstop, and the desperate, aching reminder of the person she had been missing all along, Elliot didn’t think almost anything about Ase. As far as she was concerned, in that moment, the woman ceased to exist; the same choking feeling that she’d felt when Jerome had said, you can tell me if it’s not okay. A relinquishing. A lifting of her burden. You don’t have to Atlas this thing alone.

“Joey,” Elliot said, the woman’s name coming out of her mouth hoarse and heavy. Joey’s eyes fluttered tiredly and she mustered up the closest thing to a smile.

“Hey, El,” Joey replied. As Elliot crossed the space between them and immediately crouched to kneel in front of her, the smile warmed into something more genuine. In an effort of lightness, the brunette said, “You should have called, I would have cleaned up.”

Elliot felt the soft, wrecked little sound, so close to a sob, more than she heard it; it was a choked almost-laugh, her hands fluttering absently as though unsure of where to land. “I tried,” she managed out, as thinking and speaking became harder, her jaw stiff and unyielding. “I tried, Joey—”

Joey nodded and said, “I know.”

“I will leave you,” Ase said lightly from the door, “but, Elliot? You only have a short time before you become fully open to the influence. I would drink some water.”

The blonde turned, leaving and closing the door behind her, leaving just the two of them there. By then, even while the world swam around her, and she thought she could see little sparks of orange light flying off of Joey, she threw her arms around the brunette and hugged her tightly. It took a minute for her to realize that she was crying--happy, relieved tears, the kind that came suddenly and without warning.

“I was so worried about you,” Elliot murmured between sniffles, pulling back and immediately searching for restraints. There were none. Unlike John Seed’s version of Joey’s captivity, no duct tape covered her mouth, nothing bound her hands together; she was just sitting in there—probably knowing well enough that running would have been a worse idea. “I thought John had you, and then he got me, and then he said he’d pawned you off to Faith, and—”

“Slow down,” Joey laughed, the sound not quite reaching deep enough in the cavity of her chest to be a real one. “You have crazy eyes, El.”

“They gave me something,” she explained, pressing the heel of her palm against her eye. “They did it once before, but it was stronger then.”

Joey handed her the bottle of water she had been nursing, uncapping it for her. “They gave it to me too, once,” she replied. “But not again. Maybe I didn’t give them the response they were looking for. Elliot, these people are--there’s something really wrong here. They keep talking about this thing in the woods, asking if I’ve seen it...”

Elliot took a big swallow of the water, shifting on her knees and then taking another. She felt absolutely parched—the water tasted a little funny, but she wasn’t sure if she trusted her own sense of taste right in that moment anyway. “We have to get out,” she said. Whatever the cult believed in or practiced didn’t matter; what mattered was getting the fuck away from them.

She was certain she could hear Ase’s voice just outside. She lowered her voice, trying her hardest to make sure she was whispering, “We were hoping to—I mean, I was hoping to—the plan went wrong, Joey, I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But we can still get out.”

“Where’s everyone else?” Joey asked. “Sheriff Whitehorse, and Burke, and…”

Her voice trailed off absently, and Elliot could feel the brunette’s eyes on her. She hesitated, taking Joey’s hands in her own before she replied, “I don’t know.”

“Then who is ‘we’? Jerome and the others?”

“No, Jo, it’s--”

The door clicked open behind them, echoing once, twice, three times in Elliot’s head before she turned to see Ase looming in the doorway. Long, dark, the sharp angle of her jawline and the high slope of her cheeks making her look more severe, more beautiful than before.

“It is time for you to see,” she said, her voice light. “You will have time with your friend later.”

“What about Faith?” Elliot asked, struggling to her feet. “I want to see that Faith is okay too. That you haven’t—”

“After,” Ase replied, her voice startlingly ironclad.

“Joey comes with me.” She tried again, tried to force her voice to firmness, to assertion. But Ase only smiled, tranquil now despite the hardness of her voice. She crossed the small space between them, looming in Elliot’s vision--eclipsing all other light, taking away all sense of anything else outside of her.

“She stays,” Ase replied, not unkindly. “This is only for you to see.”

She crossed the distance of the cabin between them and reached for Elliot, taking her hand. The contact made Elliot’s skin buzz. She was so tired--so tired of this stretching and pulling of herself, so tired of the way their drugs made everything somehow more than what she could handle and forced her to handle it anyway.

“Joey—”

Elliot turned back to look at the brunette, reaching for her as Ase pulled her along; Joey had pulled herself to a stand and was trying to follow after them, saying something like, it’s okay, I don’t mind coming, really, more practiced at polite coercion than Elliot was. Before Joey could reach the door after them, Elliot saw the broad, tall form of Kian blocking out the doorway, saying something to Joey in Swedish.

“Hey! Leave her alone, you fuck—”

Ase pulled on her hand, hard, yanking her until she was stumbling after her sleek figure. Out in the night, where the air was chilly with an early-Autumn coldness and Elliot could see her breath floating out of her mouth, she almost felt at peace for a second. Everything was still. Incredibly still, the way the surface of a pond was before a stone landed.

One step at a time, she walked her to the edge of the campground. They broke the treeline, hand-in-hand, until they could see Sacred Skies Lake stretched out below them. Elliot craned her neck to try and see the cabin where they were keeping Joey, but the trees blocked most of her vision of the campground.

“Look, there,” Ase said, interrupting her thoughts. She gestured down at the far treeline. When Elliot turned to look, she saw nothing; only darkness in the still woods. Too still, she thought now—still in the way the forest was when a predator had arrived and all the prey had fled.

The lake rippled below them, and then smoothed out, dark and clear as glass. She tried desperately to see--really see, not just what the drugs were making her see, as though she could brute force her way through the barrage of sensations overwhelming her.

And then: “Hey!”

It was a woman’s voice, thrown from somewhere down by the lake. Elliot felt apprehension crawling across her skin. She didn’t know why it was making her nervous, but she strained to listen for it again all the same.

The voice said again, “Hey, Elli!” and she felt her stomach drop. It was her mother’s voice, the sweet Georgia drawl that her mother had always sported, calling to her from the woods. Calling for her.

“Mama?” Elliot managed out, her voice thick and hoarse and bubbling before it even left her mouth. She felt Ase’s eyes on her, inquisitive, but all she could think about was I have to get her out of here, what is she doing here? Why isn’t she with the others?, so louder this time, she went, “Mama, I’m here!”

She took a step forward. It was Ase’s hand that stopped her, a gentle shake of her head. Elliot looked back at the woman for some kind of answer, but her expression was empty of anything that might have been helpful; on it was only the serene, delicate smile of a woman enthralled.

There was a stretch of silence. Something dark shifted in the trees. Something big, rippling leaves and branches as it moved. 

And then: “Mama?”

It was her voice.

It called, again, “Mama, I’m here?”, and the pitch and timbre felt the same as her own voice, like she’d shouted into an echoed canyon, but it was wrong. It was all wrong. It sounded like something trying her out, feeling out the way she sounded. Practicing.

The air bubbled around her with some kind of emotion. It popped, pulled tight, stretching over her vision like saran wrap, until it hurt to keep her eyes open, until she thought desperately that all she wanted to do was close her eyes—but she couldn’t. She had to stay awake, stay clear, stay conscious. For herself, for Joey and Boomer and for—

(Whether you like it or not, you and I are on the same side.)

It called, from deep in the treeline beyond the lake, again. “I’m here!” The voice pitched and pulled between words, like whatever it was kept trying to get the exact cadence of her words—trying her out, tasting. Sliding beneath her skin.

“What the fuck is that?” Elliot whispered. Ase smiled serenely at her, and gave her hand a squeeze.

“Look harder,” Ase murmured. “You will see It.”

She took a step forward, her heart thundering in her chest, trying to see beyond the utter stillness of the forest. Nothing moved; nothing breathed in time with her, anymore; where the drumbeat of the world had once felt it was intrinsically tied to her, she was now cut off from it, in a cold, dead space somewhere beyond.

Something in the trees shifted again, and rumbled.

“It has been waiting for you,” Ase murmured, coming up behind Elliot. Her voice was silky, warm, spinning a web around and around her until it made her feel—

Safe.

“What has?” Elliot managed out, swallowing thickly.

“We call it the Father,” she said. “It talks to us, when we are open to it. In voices we recognize, in the voices of our loved ones, so that it does not scare us.”

Her hands were on Elliot’s shoulders, gently squeezing, and she thought she was going to throw up. The trees in the distance warped and bent, swallowed up by something big and dark and humming, the vibration of it melting around her thrumming beneath her skin.

“It tells us, Elliot, that the end of the world is here. Your own Eden’s Gate knows it, do they not?” Ase’s voice was more urgent now; Elliot didn’t have time to think about how she said your own Eden’s Gate before she was plunging on. “They know it. The only difference between us and them is that we serve It, that we help to usher it in. Just as we once took, so do we give back to It—life, cyclic and infinite. You know it. You understood the words, in the flowers, didn’t you?”

My heart aches for you.

Be gentle with me.

I come soon.

“You’re fucking crazy,” she said, the words coming out slick with panic, spilling out of her before she could stop them. Her shoulders scrunched up to her jaw to try and brush Ase’s hands off of her. “You’re insane. You—crazy bitch—”

They were John’s words, not her own, but it was all she could muster up; the woman’s face remained light and serene, turning Elliot to look at her now.

“It waits for you,” she insisted, her voice wobbling around Elliot like the reverb of a bass drum. “I told you that you would always come back to us. I knew when I saw your color.” Her gaze swept over Elliot, almost affectionate. “White, in perfect balance.”

“Stop touching me,” Elliot managed out, pushing Ase’s hands weakly off of her. The strange thrumming persisted under her skin, a violent cacophony as she tried to block out the sound of her own voice beckoning her from the woods. Hey! Mama, I’m here! It said, begging her to follow, begging her to investigate.

Breathing became harder. It felt like she was gulping in lungfuls of water, eeking out whatever oxygen she could, but no matter where she looked to try and get Ase out of her mind she only saw dark trees; bending and curling and pulsing in time with her heartbeat.

“Mor,” Ase said, taking Elliot’s face in her hands like a lover would, “Mother, that’s what you are. For us, to us, while we serve It.”

“Fuck you,” she spit out, but her voice cracked instead, the fear welling up inside of her like a tidal wave. “I’ll—”

Ase shook her head. “I told you, it is a cycle,” she whispered, pressing their foreheads together. “Wherever you go, wherever you run, It will wait for you. It waits for us all, Elliot, and it will have you. As It gives, so too, does it take.”

She opened her mouth to respond when the loud crack of a gunshot echoed just a few feet away. Ase’s head snapped around viciously, her hand still gripping Elliot’s face with a firm, unforgiving hold; even in the dark, even with the drug wreaking havoc on her system, Elliot recognized the filthy backwater whooping of Peggies.

The flash of headlights through the trees suddenly brought everything back to life, the sound roaring in through Elliot’s head like someone had flicked the mute button back off again.

She turned to look back at the lake. Whatever had been lurking there was gone, now. The sound of feet hitting the dirt, shouted words in a foreign language, and the sweeping realization that they might yet still get out of here sent her heart hammering.

Ase pulled on her, hard, until she was stumbling after her. She craned her neck to try and see if she recognized anyone, to see if she could see one familiar face, but where the gunshots were echoing was already far enough that she could only see the brief flicker of headlights.

The door to the cabin opened. Warm light flooded her vision, splintering behind her eyelids as Ase pushed her inside and said, with a sudden and violent amount of poison, “Stay.”

Everything felt like she was swimming in molasses; each movement harder than the last, each breath taking more and more of her concentration. The door slammed shut. In the time it had taken Elliot to will her venom into existence, Ase had released her hand and swept out of the cabin, leaving her alone with Joey. Through the curtains, she could see dark shapes shifting and melting, one into another, and she took in a stuttering breath.

“Are you okay?” Joey asked immediately, reaching for her. “What did she say? When they did it to me, she kept asking if I could see—but it was just trees, out there, to me. El, look at me.”

“We have to get out,” she said. Her voice was hoarse, cracking with panic. “We have to get the fuck out of here, Joey. These people are—so much worse than Eden’s Gate—”

Voices catapulted in volume outside, tires squealing and doors slamming. All of it felt too loud, even with a wall between herself and the violence—like someone had cracked the volume up to one-hundred and then pulled the knob off.

“What the fuck? Are those Peggies?” Joey whispered, glancing out the window. “I do not want to be in the crossfire of two fucking cults. Elliot, when are the others coming? Where are they?”

Elliot swallowed thickly. As the sounds of cacophony increased outside, reminding her that she had made something like a deal with the devil, she took in a deep breath. She didn’t have time to think about the woods, or whatever it was she thought she’d seen in there, or the way that Ase had gripped her face and said, It waits for you.

“Right,” she said, trying to push those thoughts somewhere far down and out of sight. “So, listen, Joey, about the others, they’re—gone.”

Joey stared at her. “Gone?” she repeated.  Horror started to creep into her tone. “Like—dead—?”

“No, I mean—they’re gone. Or they should be,” she added quickly, heading towards the window to look out, “I told them to evacuate Hope County when I ran into these crazies the first time.”

“Okay,” the brunette began, slowly, “so… before, when you said we and—that you had a plan…”

“Right,” Elliot replied, her head swimming a little. “Yeah, a plan. Remember when I said that John got me—”

Joey shook her head, not because she didn’t remember but because she already saw where this was going. “Elliot—”

“—and then he told me that he pawned you off to Faith, and—well, Joey,” Elliot managed, “there wasn’t any way I was going to lose one iota of a chance of getting you back.”

“Fuck,” Joey groaned, pressing her hands to her eyes. “Fuck, Elliot, please tell me you didn’t—”

“Well, look, Joey—”

Something rattled the door. It struck Elliot with a note of panic that they had been locked in, and she didn’t know if in that moment she felt worse to know that they had closed them in or if it was a comfort, considering the chaos that was probably ensuing outside.

Worse, something in her head said. It always feels worse, to be trapped.

Someone banged on the door three times, and then through it came a blissfully familiar voice: “Elliot? Are you in there?”

Elliot felt a wave of relief wash over her. She never thought she would see the day where hearing John Seed’s voice would bring her relief, let alone comfort: but it did.

She hurried to the door, rattling the doorknob for good measure. “Yes,” she replied quickly, the words coming out a bit hoarse, so she tried again, louder this time: “Yeah, John, I’m in here. Can you break the window?”

“I’ll do you one better. Get back from the door.”

She did as he said, reaching for Joey just mere seconds before she heard a concussive splintering of wood and metal from the other side of the door, which swung open shortly thereafter. She was not wrong to think that the outside was chaos; she could hear it more clearly now, but almost none of it mattered, because John Seed was standing there with a shotgun in his arms.

“You could have just broken the window open,” Elliot managed out, around the complicated mess of feelings welling up inside of her and her tongue feeling two sizes too big in her mouth. “Idiot.”

“That’s a lot of attitude you’re giving your rescuer,” John replied, cocking the shotgun with an affirmative click, click, the plastic shell clattering onto the front porch of the cabin. “What are you standing around for? Let’s get moving, hellcat.”

“I’m not going with him,” Joey bit out venomously. “That psycho kidnapped me and held me hostage!”

“Oh, Hudson, that was so long ago,” John drawled, glancing over his shoulder at the erupting chaos behind him. “Keep up with the times, won’t you? Elliot and I are partners, now.”

It shouldn’t have felt dirty, hearing John Seed say that to Joey—because they were partners, because he didn’t have to come for her if he had Faith already and he did anyway—but it did. It felt traitorous.

“You fuckhead!” Joey snapped. “If any of our friends are dead, it’s your fault!”

“Okay!” Elliot announced, her voice high and panicked. It felt weird to be the middleman, the one demanding that everyone be calm. “Okay, let’s just—everyone shut the fuck up, okay? I am hours into a fucking drug trip and there is no time to debate the moral ethics of teaming up with a cult leader to escape another cult leader!”

Joey’s jaw clenched as she stared at John, her eyes narrowing, Elliot’s hand still firmly gripped in hers. She looked at Elliot for a moment, and then—

“Fine,” she ground out.

“Great,” John replied.

“Awesome,” Elliot said, taking in a deep breath. “Joey, is there any medicine in the cabinet? We should grab it.” She paused, looking at John for a moment, her gaze sweeping over him. He was unmarked. Unscarred. Splattered with blood, but it didn’t bother her—rather, assured her. “Did you—did you get Faith?”

He watched Joey let go of her hand and cross the room to gather up what few things she had—the half-drank water bottle, some pills from the cabinet in the bathroom that may or may not have expired, Elliot thought—and then he said, “First thing. She’s waiting for us down by the lake.”

“Good,” Elliot murmured, nodding and swallowing thickly. For a second, a strange silence stretched between them, and then John took a few steps into the cabin and he reached for her.

“They didn’t hurt you?” he asked, his voice dropping in volume, his fingers brushing her jaw and tilting her face to get a look at her neck where Kian’s fingers had dug into her skin.

She felt her lashes flutter, the feeling of his fingers skimming the still-tender spots sending strange vibrations rattling through her skull. Her skin didn’t crawl the same way it had when Kian had grabbed her, but heat did bloom in her face, and she felt it crawling all the way down her neck. His gaze darted over her face, lingering on her mouth for a heartbeat in their close proximity.

“Stupid,” she muttered, brushing his hand off. “Of course they didn’t. You should be checking on Ase’s little boy-pet.”

John grinned, the expression drenched in something close to pride. “I should have known.”

“Let’s go.” It was Joey’s voice that interrupted, slicing right through the moment, dousing out the flames Elliot felt in her chest. The brunette grabbed her hand and pulled her through the doorway, out into the cold, black night—a night swelling and vibrating with sound now, no longer ruptured by a stillness that sat like condensation in her lungs but noise, bubbling and sparking in the air like electricity.

Joey stopped, ducking and pulling Elliot back behind the next door cabin when the sound of gunfire pierced through the night. John slipped just ahead of them and said, “Hey, maybe let the guy with the gun go first?”

“Maybe the guy with the gun should be covering our asses instead,” Joey retorted. She pushed the water bottle into Elliot’s free hand and nudged her ahead. “C’mon, get a move on, Elli.”

John glanced back at her, and his expression said, Elli, huh? That’s cute. Elliot glared at him, but there was a lightness in her when she did—it didn’t matter, that infuriating way he cocked his grin at her, like he was equal parts pleased with himself and proud of her ferocity. It didn’t matter, because she could see the hilltop where Ase had shown her the lake, and once they got down they were home free, and John Seed could feel however he wanted to about her.

She had Joey. She would be free to go, and leave the Seeds behind her.

Shouting clipped through the air in the distance, and John glanced back behind them, exhaling through his mouth. No doubt the members of Eden’s Gate that were creating this diversion (and that’s what it was, a diversion) were getting mowed down, obliterated by the organized, methodical killing that the Family was capable of.

Elliot glanced back. Through the gaps in the trees, she could see bodies dropping and crumpling against the ground, pulled and yanked out of trucks that had been driven right up against the clearing. Lambs to the slaughter, she thought hazily, her fingers slipping out of Joey’s hand. What am I, then?

Wherever you go, wherever you run, It will wait for you. 

Someone screamed. She saw the light of it, pinching off of them in sharp, rapid bursts of yellow, swimming through the air until disappearing into the night sky above her where the boughs of the trees stretched impossibly far. Each massacre, each bloody slaughter ending life after life, the residue filtering through the air in ghostly wisps of color.

As It gives, so too, does it take.

“El,” John said, taking a step down the hill, “we have to go.”

“Joey?” she asked. “She--”

“On her way down the hill, already.” He reached for her, hand outstretched, ignoring that she seemed to keep losing time. “Let’s go.”

Elliot paused at the top of the hill; her gaze darted, without much thought, to the treeline—it’s nothing, she thought to herself, I just want to check.

Something lurched in the treeline. Big, breaking and snapping trees, and Elliot felt a breath slip out of her, violently departing her lungs.

“John,” she began, uneasily, “I don’t think I can—”

“You’re fine, El, just keep—”

Joey called something from down below them; irritation flickered across John’s expression, and he turned away from her to take another step down the hill and call back, “Yeah, we’re—just sit tight down there, Hudson…”

Elliot took an unsteady step backward, and just as she did, she felt someone grab her arm.

“Not you,” Ase hissed at her, yanking her hard until she stumbled back from the hillside. There was a frantic, wild energy about her now, infernal, bubbling up out of the calm, polished veneer. “Not you, mor, not this time. You get to stay and see what you’ve done.”

Elliot felt cold earth and pine needles beneath palms, prickling through her jeans as she hit the ground. Her stomach lurched; she thought she was going to throw up, but when she turned around to see Ase stalking towards her, a different kind of nausea welled up in her. For the first time in a long time, Elliot felt real, cold fear in her, searing through her like a venom.

She wanted to call for John, or Joey, or anyone—but her jaw felt like it was wrenched tight, and violent sparks of light were rushing off of Ase right in front of her eyes.

“You’re insane,” she managed out unsteadily, the heat in her voice whipped away by the panic inside of her.

“I told you,” Ase said, taking two steps closer to her, “no matter where you go, you will always—”

Something loud and concussive echoed. Elliot heard flesh and sinew tear until the pressure of something greater; the arterial spray of it peppered her vision, splattering across her face until the world looked like it was doused in red film.

Ase’s expression went slack as she sank to her knees in front of Elliot, and in the dark of the night, Elliot could see the blood splatter of the gaping wound in Ase’s stomach just before she slumped forward. She wasn’t dead, yet—as John took a step forward, cocking the shotgun again, Elliot thought about the way Ase’s stomach had been spilling out of her.

“John?” she asked, feeling very small and very far away. A part of her brain was vaguely aware of the sounds of the firefight echoing in the night, of voices shouting closer to her, but she couldn’t think about any of that. All she could think about is the way John was looking at her, the shotgun propped up and ready to fire again, though he didn’t. Not yet.

Something brushed her hand. Elliot looked back and saw Ase’s glassy eyes, her fingers brushing Elliot’s, reaching for her. Blood dripped out of her mouth, and the green light that Elliot had thought she’d seen around her now was beginning to dim. Her lips parted, her gaze flickering absently over her face.

“Do you see?”

Ase interlaced their fingers. The earth below her stretched out, pulling her, sweeping like a neverending conveyor belt that only managed to make her sicker.

Another concussive blast muted out the world. She heard nothing but the ringing in her ears as the back of Ase’s head caved in, their eyes locked and their fingers interlaced, like friends. Like sisters.

“No,” Elliot said, the sound coming out of her like some kind of agonized noise, “no no no—”

Something firm and warm gripped her shoulders. A hand reached up, pushing against her jaw until she was forced to turn her eyes away from Ase’s mouth moving silently.

It was John. Eclipsing her vision, filling it up until there nothing else. John, pulling her to her feet, wiping the blood from her face and saying something—something that she couldn’t hear, her head vibrating with the residue of the shotgun blast that had covered her in gore—pulling her to the hillside, pulling her down.

The world swam and melted around her as John pulled her down the hill, one hand gripping hers and the other steadying her as she stumbled and swayed. She tried to look elsewhere, anywhere that wasn’t John, John who had looked like maybe he was hesitating and then had blown Ase’s head to pieces, but she couldn’t.

At the bottom of the hill, Joey immediately grabbed her away from John. “El? Elli? Are you okay?”

She didn’t know what to say. The feeling of Ase’s fingers reaching for her, interlacing with hers, stuck to her ribs. Elliot thought about the curve of the back of Ase’s head, concave from the shotgun shell, the carmine spray of the woman’s wound coating her face.

“If you want to stand around down here and chit chat, that’s fine.” It was Jacob’s voice. When had Jacob gotten there? Why was he there? She watched him grab Faith’s hand and pull the girl along, heading further down to the lake. “We’re leaving.”

“When—” Elliot began, still dazed, feeling like the world was becoming a watercolor painting around her. “When did Jacob—”

“Drink some water,” Joey said, holding the water bottle out to her, “and we’ll talk about it later, but right now we need to move, Elli.”

She nodded numbly, clutching Joey’s hand as she started to walk, John’s radiating warmth on the other side of her. Elliot glanced at him through the corner of his eyes for any indication that he felt, at all, any emotion about what he’d just done—but he only looked quietly troubled, his fingers brushing hers as they walked.

He’d said to her, grinning slick, yours must surely be the sin of wrath. But she didn’t feel so very wrathful now, Ase’s blood on her face and the world falling apart around her. She watched him, glancing around through the trees, checking the chaos behind them, the slaughterhouse he had led his lambs to.

Not this one. John’s voice, hissing in her ear, as she gasped around lungfuls of water. This one’s not clean.

John’s hands on either side of her face, gripping, grounding her to the earth when she felt like she was going to float away, when it felt like the earth was slipping out from beneath her feet. John, not grimacing or flinching when her nails dug into his arm to keep her present, to keep her anchored.

Which one are you? she thought, staring at him until her eyes burned, until he looked over at her inquisitively. Which John are you?

John, glowing with pride at Joseph’s praise. John, irritably telling her to smoke a cigarette because he knew from one casual conversation that it would relax her. John, his fingers brushing the skin just below her collarbone, saying maybe we’ll tattoo it here, just over your heart. John, calling her a killer.

By the pricking of my thumbs.

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

12.28.20

So. 10 years.

Yeah, today is the 10 year anniversary of me making this blog. I’d previously been an Amy Pond roleplay blog, but I tired of that after a few weeks and deleted that and made this instead. It marked the beginning of the end for my DeviantART, which I deleted a few months later.

I can’t believe I’ve been on this site for 10 years, but also can’t imagine being anywhere else. This place is part of my routine now, and I can’t imagine life without this outlet. This bastion of Old Internet Anonymity. Sure, my drafts have been broken for 2 years, but that’s Tumblr.

Thank you to everyone who’s been with me over the years, even if we’ve fallen out of touch. Special thanks to @robincrowe, @empathetic-vibrations, and my gf @super-skitty who migrated with me from DeviantART back when I was still 10nant-Fangirl. Thanks to people like @doll-frakking-house who’ve been here almost as long. Thank you all.

If you want more content from me, I post music news/trivia as well as a song each day over on my music blog, the-music-dealer.

I also post frequently on Archive of Our Own under the name the-red-rabbit. I post...

Good Omens:

“This Was Originally Called ‘Temptation Waits’, But the Title Was Left in the Car”

Ineffable Wives AU focusing on the 6000 years.

“Child in a Seacave”

Some time after the narrowly averted apocalypse, Crowley receives a message from God. But will he agree to answer her? Written because I have trauma with my own parents, but I was keeping my trans readers in mind when I wrote this one.

“Crimson and Clover”

Aziraphale tries chat-up lines.

Good Omens Series:

As Heaven is Wide Series:

Part 1: As Heaven is Wide

Aziraphale and Crowley decide to take a post-apocalypse road trip to see the world, but it gets cut short when they come upon a teenage girl who (despite her protests) needs to be rescued. Things get more complicated when they find themselves once again in direct opposition of heaven, and they have to wonder if it's worth upending their shaky peace with heaven to keep her safe.

There are trigger warnings on this multi-chapter series, but I don't go into real graphic detail because I don't think the story needs that. As someone with trauma, I don't think it's productive to be incredibly graphic. I deal more in implications and off-screen for that type of material. (If you've read some of my other stuff, this one is positively tame compared to that.)

Part 2: Perfect

While Aziraphale finds himself quite comfortable with the trials of parenthood, Crowley finds that raising a teenager is more challenging than he'd expected.

Part 3: Going to Hell (In Progress and Updating today)

Sending their daughter to her first day at school was always going to be a challenge for Aziraphale and Crowley. After all, she still hasn't got a grip on her magic and the thought of being apart from her causes them some portion of anxiety. They just want her to enjoy her new life and fit in, but that's a little hard to do when a lost ghost appears to ask her for help.

Yeah, this one's definitely inspired by Buffy the Vampire Slayer, except instead of metaphors for growing up as a general thing, it's specifically metaphors for obstacles for healing from trauma.

Community:

“And a (Short) Movie”

The study group tries to define the word 'himbo'.

“Community: The Movie (One By One They All Just Fade Away)”

It's been 5 years since Abed Nadir left for Hollywood to pursue a career in film. When he receives a call in the dead of night from Greendale, Colorado, it becomes his responsibility to deliver the news to the rest of his old study group. He embarks on an epic journey to track down Troy Barnes on his boat.

Dean-dong, the Dean is dead.

But is he?

Jeff Winger isn't so sure. He enlists the help of his old "study buddy" Annie Edison to use her FBI skills to find out what really happened to Craig Pelton.

When the study group returns to Greendale, they find that the school has been bought out by Hot Topic. Britta, who liked Hot Topic back "before it sold out", immediately channels her grief into protesting it. But when she meets a fellow anarchist who has vowed to take down the chain from the inside, she's forced to contend with the fact that shouting opinions isn't the same as creating meaningful change.

I have one Hannibal/Willy Wonka fic that I wrote for fun: “Lollirot”

Willy Wonka is a humble man with a dream of making candy for all the children of the world. When he starts running out of ideas for new confections, he seeks help for his depression. His doctor, Hannibal Lecter, is a strangely charming man with unorthodox ideas for how a factory should be run. Before long, Will starts to experience paranoid delusions about his competitors and loses his grip on reality as he sinks deeper into self-imposed isolation with nobody but his doctor to guide him.

A prequel to the show Hannibal.

One Grinch fic: “How the Grinch Got Therapy”

Epilogue to How the Grinch Stole Christmas empathizing with the Grinch. Because as a person with religious trauma, especially centered around Christmas, I think it's about time that we stop shaming people for not having fun during Christmas. Some people won't celebrate and it's weird how we're all expected to assimilate.

And my magnum opus, the fic I’ve been working on off and on for 10 years even since my DeviantART days...

Doctor Who Fic Series:

Am I...Ginger?:

Season 1: Am I...Ginger?

The Doctor swore off companions after Journey's End, believing himself too dangerous to be around them. But while looking for members of the Trickster's Brigade, he stumbled upon a child of Torchwood that made him question all that.

Of course, there's another problem. He was warned that the Trickster had a weapon, one that could defeat him once and for all. He follows the clues to London, where he finds a nameless woman whose love of history does not include sharing her own. Could she be the weapon he was warned about? Is he just interested in her as a distraction from his own mortality? Can she be saved this time? Can any of them? Or are they doomed to life the way it was written?

(Set between the Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith and the Waters of Mars.)

(There are trigger warnings, but as always it only applies to one specific chapter and potential mentions. But this will deal with issues that people might find distasteful.)

Season 2: Am I...Ginger? The Mourning After (In Progress and Updating Today)

Picking up right from where season 1 left off.

"The Doctor's dead."

That's where this story left off. Despite many attempts to contact him, he's been nowhere to be found. But DOES that mean he's dead? The ragtag group of misfits he left behind keep having conflicting thoughts on the subject. Is he dead? Held hostage somewhere in need of rescue? Just avoiding them?

Just when they give up hope, the Doctor decides to crash his own funeral. Two funeral crashings in a row, that has to be a record for him. But can he still fit in the world he left behind, or has he changed too much? Is it even a good idea to try?

Set when Amy and Rory are on their honeymoon (between "A Christmas Carol" and "The Impossible Astronaut"). This is also just after "The Death of the Doctor" episode of the Sarah Jane Adventures. As usual, I'm playing fill-in-the-blanks with unexplored parts of canon.

...

10 years flew by. You guys have been there with me through some of the toughest parts of my life. I made this blog when I was still a 15 year old in an abusive home and it’s been with me ever since. So let’s hope the next 10 years will be better lmao.

[dukereviewstv]

Duke Reviews TV: Batman: The Animated Series 1x10 And 1x11 Two-Face

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews TV, Where We Continue Our Look At Batman: The Animated Series By Talking About Episodes 10 And 11 Of Season 1, Two-Face...

This Episode Sees Harvey Dent Starting To Transform Into The Duality Obsessed Two-Face When He Expresses Anger Issues That Are Being Caused By Another Personality In Harvey's Subconscious Called "Big Bad Harv"...

Big Bad Harv...

Going To Get Psychiatric Help At Bruce's Behest, His Psych File Ends Up In The Hands Of Mobster Rupert Thorne (Played By Officer Mooney From Killer Klowns From Outer Space) Who Decides To Blackmail Him In Exchange For Favors In D.A'S Office...

Will Batman Be Able To Save Harvey From Thorne? Or Will Big Bad Harv Take Over Completely And Handle The Problem For The Bat?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Two-Face...

The Episode Starts With A Dream Sequence As Harvey Runs From A Disembodied Voice Saying "It's Time"...

Woken Up By His Secretary, Carlos, Who Tells Him That Gordon Called Saying That They Started A Raid On A Derelict Building Being Held By Rupert Thorne's Men...

With Batman's Help, The Men Are Captured As Harvey Congratulates Gordon And The Police But When One Of The Crooks Kicks Mud In Harvey's Face, Dent Goes Beserk On The Crook And Has To Be Pulled Off Him

Reverting Back To His Regular Self After That, Dent Has No Memory Of What Happened And Just Simply Says That Maybe The Criminal Hit The Right Button...

Back At His Headquarters, Rupert Thorne Tells His Hot Mole, Candice...

To Find Something Dirty About Dent's Past That Could Be Used In His Favor

Later At A Campaign Rally At Wayne Manor, Carlos Tells Harvey That The Judge Let Thorne's Men Go Because The Warrant Was "Incomplete" This Leads To Harvey Losing His Temper Again Because He Believes That The Judge Was Bought Off Like Everyone In Thorne's Employ...

Bruce Tries To Calm Harvey Down But All It Does Is Make Harvey Take His Anger Out On Him, It's Only When Harvey's Fiancee Grace Slaps Him...

With Bruce Advising Harvey To Get Psychiatric Help, Grace Tells Him That Harvey Already Is, Only For Harvey To Be Embarrassed, Despite Being Reluctant To Due To His Campaign...

Visiting His Doctor That Night, She Induces Hypno Therapy On Harvey, Where She Meets Harvey's Other Personality, Big Bad Harv...

And This Scene Frightens Me Every Time I See It....

(Start At 0:37, End At 2:26)

Asking If There's Any Other Way, The Doctor Suggests Increasing Their Sessions And Doing Less Campaigning Which Harvey Agrees To Do As Long As It's Kept Quiet, But Unfortunately, Thorne's Mole Candice Is Right Outside The Door And She Heard Everything...

Months Pass And Harvey Is About To Recieve A Landslide Victory In His Re-Election But When He Gets A Phone Call From Rupert Thorne Who Tells Harvey That He Knows About Big Bad Harv, And That If He Doesn't Get Into A Car Outside In The Alley, His Political Career Wont Be Intact For Much Longer...

Worried About His Friend, Bruce Suits Up And Follows Harvey To Thorne At A Chemical Plant Where He Tells Harvey That In Exchange For Keeping Quiet About Harvey's Psych Record, He'll Want A Few Favors From The D.A'S Office...

With Thorne Asking If They Have A Deal, Harvey Has A Psychotic Break And Attacks Thorne And His Men...

Harvey Smash!

Batman Tries To Stop Harvey Not Realizing That It's Not Harvey He's Dealing With But Big Bad Harv...

With Thorne's Men Fighting Both Harvey And Batman, Thorne Eventually Grabs The File And Bolts With Harvey Going After Him...

(Start At 2:26, End At 3:12)

I Usually Love Kevin Conroy But I Don't Like That No He Did There (Despite Knowing That Alot Of People Do) I'm Sorry But I Just Wish It Was Louder So I Could Feel His Anguish To The Situation Where Here I Just Don't Feel It...

Taking Harvey To The Hospital, Bruce Worries About The Mental Scars Than The Physical Scars While Candice Rejoices At Getting Rid Of Dent Despite Thorne Not Being So Convinced Harvey Is Gone..

Later At The Hospital, The Doctor Starts Removing The Bandages...

(Start At 1:29)

So, Yeah, That Ends Part 1, So, Now We Move On To Part 2...

A Few Months Have Passed And Harvey Is Now Full Two Face, Hitting Rupert Thorne's Joints, Humiliating Him Just As He Humiliated Harvey With The Help Of His Boys, Min And Max (Voiced By Micky Dolenz Of The Monkees)...

And He's Not Using James Cagney Impression Voice For The 2 Henchmen?...

(Start At 0:04, End At 0:10)

I Am So Over This Show!

I'm Kidding Of Course, That Would Make It Cartoony And God Knows We Can't Do That For 2 Seconds With This Show...

Infuriated That Harvey Took Him For $200,000, Candice Is Basically Like...

Because They Created Him While Rupert Places Out A Contract A Million A Face For Two Face...

Back In The Batcave, Bruce Has A Nightmare About Harvey...

(End At 1:09)

Finding A Picture Of Two Face, Bruce Vows To Save Harvey By Any Means Necessary...

Getting A Visit From A Detective Leopold Who Wants Her Help In Finding Harvey, Grace Is Given A Transmitter Which She's To Activate If Dent Contacts Her...

However It's Revealed To Us, That Leopold Is Really Candice In Disguise...

Going Over His Profits, Two Face Opens His Wallet Only To See A Picture Of Grace Which Causes Him To Freeze For A Second...

Min And Max Offer To Bring Grace To Him If He Misses Her So Much, But When He Gets His Coin Out And Flips It, It's Lands On The Bad Side So It'll Have To Wait While They Pull Off Their Big Plan Of Taking Down Thorne Once And For All..

Back In The Batcave, Batman Looks At Two Face's Previous Targets Realizes That Aside From The Fact That They All Have The Number 2 In Them, They're All Fronts For Thorne's Activities, This Leads Batman To Realize Where Harvey Is Headed Next...

(Start At 1:26)

Batman Is Woken Up By A Janitor Who Tells Him That Two Face Is Gone...

Driving By A Wedding Shop Where He Imagines Grace As The Bride On A Cake. Asking His Boys To Stop So He Can Flip His Coin...

And It Must Have Landed On Good Heads Because He Calls Grace And Says That He Wants To See Her...

Having Min And Max Outside Of The Apartment Waiting For Her, Grace Hangs Up Before Activating The Transmitter Giving Candice The Signal As Thorne Rages About The File Harvey Stole...

Arriving At The Abandoned Wild Deuce Club, Grace Sees Two Face Who Has A Cloth Over His Scared Side (Kind Of A la Phantom Of The Opera)...

As He Tells Her How He Is Now With Chance And She's Basically Unable To Accept It As It Wasn't Chance That Made Him D.A. Or Made Him Fall In Love With Her As He Removes The Cloth Telling Him That He Never Has To Be Afraid Of Her...

But It All Goes Down The Crapper When Thorne's Men Knock Out Min And Max And Thorne Enters With Candice, Who Tells Two Face What Grace Did Despite Thorne Saying That She Thought She Was Warning The Police...

Despite Thorne's Men Searching All Over, They Can't Find Thorne's File Which Forces Thorne To Go After Grace..,

(Start At 0:43, End At 3:32)

Alot Of People Have Said That Joel Schumacher Took The Last Couple Of Minutes Of This Part And Turned It Into This Part In Batman Forever...

(Start At 0:44, End At 0:59)

But Like The Part With Scarecrow In Nothing To Fear I See It As A Meer Coincidence...

With The Police Arresting Thorne And His Gang Along With Two Face Who Has Grace By His Side. Gordon Wonders If There's Hope For Harvey And Batman Replies Simply Where There's Love, There's Hope, Before He Tosses A Coin Into A Fountain For Harvey Ending Our Episode...

Now Before I Give My Opinion On The Episodes, I'd Like To Talk About Those Last Words Of The Episode...

"Where There's Love, There's Hope"

Those Lines Are Slightly Melancholy For Me...

Why?

Because After This Episode We Never See Grace With Harvey Again....

After This Episode And A Brief Cameo In Fear Of Victory, The Next Time We See Two Face Is In The Strange Secret Of Bruce Wayne Where He's Full On Two Face And Bidding On Bruce's Secret Alongside The Joker And The Penguin..

So, The Question Is What Happened To Grace? Did She Fall Off The Edge Of The DCAU Continuity?

Hi, Duke Here, The Following Was Going To Be A Long Winded Rant On Grace And What I Thought The Writers And Creators Did To Her, But After I Wrote That Rant, I Looked On DCAU Wiki And Discovered That They Moved Grace's Story With Harvey To The Comics...

Namely The Batman And Robin Adventures Comic, Where In Issues #1 And #2..

She Falls Victim To A Nefarious Plot By The Joker, Who Enrages Harvey By Suggesting That Grace And Bruce Wayne Are A Couple, This Leads Two Face To Kidnap Grace, Bruce And Dick, Threatening To Kill Them All...

But Realizing That He Has Succumbed To His Bad Side, Grace Stabs Two Face In The Face With His Coin Implicating That Their Relationship Is Over...

However, In Issue 22 Of Batman And Robin Adventures...

Two Face's Life Is Thrown Into Chaos When He Loses His Trademark Coin During A Breakout And Has Replaced It With A Quarter. Little Jonni Infantino, A Gangster Who Caused The Breakout..

And An Obvious Nod To Carmine Infantino, Comic Book Artist And Former Editor Of DC Comics...

Threatens To Kill Grace If Two Face Doesn't Provide Him Information On One Of Rupert Thorne's Thugs, Weird Tony Hendra, Who Was One Of Harvey's Last Cases As D.A....

Running To A Payphone, Two Face Calls Grace, Warning Her To Get Out Of Her Apartment Before Jonni Can Get To Her. Calling Bruce Afterwards To Tell Him That Harvey Saved Her Life, He Tells Her That He Will Send Alfred To Pick Her Up And Bring Her To The Mansion...

After That, That's The Last We See Of Grace, But It's Hinted That She Still Deeply Loves Harvey...

These Stories Are Good, But I Wish That #1 And #2 Were Portrayed On The Animated Series...

Mainly Because I Know There Are People Like Me Who Don't Go Out To Comic Book Stores And Get The Comics, So, In Turn People Like Me Are Confused About Where Characters Like Grace Are...

Not That There Are Anymore Characters That Leave The Show And Have Me Asking Where They Are, Like I Did With Grace But Still...

If Paul Dini Or Bruce Timm Are Looking At This I'd Like To Know Why They Went This Route With Grace And Didn't Explain Where She Was On The Animated Series For The People Who Didn't Read The Comic?

I Mean They Explained What Happened To Nora Fries After Sub Zero The Least They Can Do Is Explain What Happened To Grace After Two Face...

Anyway We Now Return You To Your Review Already In Progress....

God!

But Aside From My Problems With That These Two Episodes Are Very Good...

The Story And Characters Were Well Written And Their Take On The Character Of Two Face Is Brilliantly Written, Definite Props To Richard Moll For Amazingly Voicing Two Face In This And Many Episodes Of BTAS, All In All I Say See Them Both...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[writcraft]

Rec List #1 Theme: 2018 Favourites (Non-Drarry)

One of my fandom resolutions is to rec more in 2019. I’m going to post rec lists for some of my favourite HP fics divided up by theme/content/ship or whatever I fancy throughout the year, aiming for one rec list a month with two in January. I thought I would kick off 2019 with two lists of 2018 favourites. This first one excludes Drarry because I’ve read mostly Drarry this year and limiting myself to ten recs per list would be impossible if I included all the Drarry I’ve enjoyed within a list of just ten. The second list will be my favourite Drarry fics of 2018, then I’ll move on to other themes for the remaining months.

Usual caveats for recs apply. This is by no means an exhaustive list, I could have recced many more. I’ve read and enjoyed a whole raft of terrific stories and this rec list is simply based on my personal tastes which may not be everybody else’s cuppa. Please heed the content warnings the author has flagged on AO3 in each case, some of these fics contain darker content and I haven’t listed out any warnings in my recs and summaries.

#1. A Radical Change in (Self) Perception by AnyaElizabeth

Severus Snape/Harry Potter | 57,114

Harry should know better than to touch museum exhibits, especially in a magical museum. Now he's in trouble...

My Rec: I haven’t read a huge amount of body swap fics and I can’t remember the last body swap Snarry I read, and I was so intrigued by how the author would handle this premise. I devoured the whole 50,000+ words in one sitting I was so engaged by this charming story. The body swap forced Harry and Severus to spend more time together but it did so much more than that - it enabled them to better understand one another and also themselves, when they saw each other through a different lens. The writing is terrific and if you’re a Snarry shipper this one is guaranteed to give you all the warm and fuzzies. A great addition to the wonderful Snarry fanfic that has posted throughout 2018.

#2. Hallo Spaceboy by @shiftylinguini

James Potter/Teddy Lupin | 10,075

“If this mirror could talk,” James remembers declaring, already one drink down and trying to tidy up his ridiculous costume eyeliner, “it would say we look bloody amazing.”

Teddy’s arm was warm when he wrapped it around James’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

“We always do, love.” Teddy tugged on a long curl of James’s hair before tucking it behind his ear, then smoothing the whole lot of it back. “We’re the fittest blokes at the party, us.”

James’d had to give up on the eyeliner after that; he was grinning too hard, flushed and happy and basking in Teddy’s attention (fit blokes, we’re fit blokes, that’s us), and he couldn't bloody stop.

Or: James kissed Teddy last night. This may or may not be the end of the world.

My Rec: A thoroughly charming fic featuring trans James waking up in the morning and coming to terms with a kiss with his best mate Teddy Lupin the night before. I loved the quietness of this story, the way James being trans was part of it but not the primary focus. James feeding bread to the ducks on a grotty park bench is honestly such a beautiful, persistent and soothing image, and I loved the whole story from start to finish. It’s got lovely, warm coming of age vibes to it and I felt James’ conflict and fears come through so well in the telling of this story. Wonderfully written.

#3. Of Reckoning and Ruin by @half-light-01

Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore | 10,585

"And it is the eternal rule that drops of blood spilled on the ground demand yet more blood." 

One year after Lily Potter's death, Severus Snape's Dark Mark comes to life. Caught between a creature that wants him dead, and a Headmaster who needs him alive, the young Hogwarts professor is forced to reckon with his past and negotiate his future.

My Rec: I discovered this terrific fic at the end of this year and boy oh boy am I glad I did. The relationship between Severus and Albus is, in my view, one of the most complex and fascinating of the Harry Potter series. This story explores the darker sides we see of Dumbledore in canon through his interactions with Snape, but most of all it is a complex and fascinating character study of Severus, his grief, his guilt, his inner turmoil. The author really gets into the grit of both characters without flinching away from it and the creature in the story gives it a very unsettling quality which forces us to question who can be trusted, if anyone. A really engaging, well told story with a deft handling of complex characters. 

#4. my heart beat a tattoo on my ribs by @candybarrnerd / icarusinflight

Ginny Weasley/Luna Lovegood | 7,403

Ginny can't understand why anyone would want to mark themselves by choice but she still agrees to go with Harry when he says he wants a tattoo.

My Rec: I loved this beautiful story of tattoo artist Luna and a Ginny still processing the trauma and grief of war. The friendship between Ginny and Harry is wonderfully crafted and the dull ache of grief that grips Ginny is beautifully handled - it’s softly done and never overwrought and the story is ultimately one of healing and hope. A really terrific, sexy read and one I’ll definitely return to again.

#5. Distortion by DorthyAnn (JenniferMarie)

Harry Potter Centric (see AO3 for more detail) | 8,924

Harry wakes in darkness. A darkness that goes on and on without end. He can’t see or feel, he doesn’t know what’s happened. All he can do is hold on, replaying his memories to keep him sane. Until it’s over. Until he can go home again.

My Rec: This is horror as I love it the most. A strange, unsettling, superbly written story which grapples with identity, perception of self, loss of identity and evokes a creepy, oppressive sense of things going horribly awry. The Potterverse is so rich with details of magic and potions which can be used to alter ones own perception of themselves and the rest of the world, and the author uses the magic of canon in a deft and eerie way to create a gripping, unnerving tale of psychological horror. 

#6. Soft Touch by perverse_idyll

Severus Snape/Harry Potter | 15,167

Harry's love life has been dismal, and he finds himself checking into a therapeutic massage clinic just to get off - the same clinic to which Snape had been delivered three years earlier for physical therapy.

My Rec: Perverse Idyll is one of those authors whose fics I read and they stay with me for a long time after. One of the first Snarry authors I properly discovered on the journals, Perverse Idyll and I see Snape somewhat differently at times (although the meta conversations that results in are always an absolute privilege and pleasure) but I think that’s one of the things I find so compelling whenever I read PI’s fic. Perverse Idyll takes Snape to places I struggle to as a writer, and I find him absolutely captivating. He never loses his sharpness, his bitterness or his moral ambiguity and there is nothing more compelling than reading an unapologetically brittle Snape from the deft hand of a terrific writer who knows the character inside out and has formed deep, intricate views about his complexities and motivations and lets all his flaws sing instead of silencing or softening them in an attempt to make him more palatable. This is such an electric, sensual, sexy story with tension ramped up to the max. Brilliant.

#7. Rooftop Ruminations by @thealmostrhetoricalquestion​

Pansy Parkinson/Ginny Weasley | 12,209

Ginny barely registered the evening. The musician, whose bow wrung sounds from the strings with a casual, carefree elegance that Ginny would have usually envied, was just a blur in front of her face. The steps she took to the Rialto Bridge once everyone was ready felt too light and airy, and Luna’s hand in hers was just a wisp of citrus-scented silk. The night grew cooler and Ginny didn’t feel it. Simpering crush, Daphne had said. Pansy had a simpering crush. The words bobbed to the surface of her thoughts and pinched at her wrists and looped around her ears. She kept glancing at Pansy in her velvet skirt and towering heels, and she kept not knowing what to feel.

She wasn’t sure who she wanted Pansy’s crush to be on, and she hated that she didn’t know.

My Rec: This is such a gorgeous piece of writing. The scene setting is so immersive and wistful somehow, there’s a quietness to the pace of the story and the telling of it that made it such a wonderful read. I found myself completely engaged by the unfolding of the story, the richness of the details and descriptions sprinkled throughout, the handling of Ginny’s grief, the sparks and flickers of her feelings as she explores her growing attraction to Pansy and past feelings for Luna. I highly recommend this beautifully told story. 

#8. The Frame by mindabbles

Sirius Black/James Sirius Potter | 11,703

What are the ethical implications of falling for a person you're named after? How about the logistical complications of falling for someone who shouldn’t be alive? James would rather, he finds, not look too closely at either, not when Sirius makes him forget anyone else exists. 

My Rec: I left a prompt for Next Gen Fest involving time travel and James Sirius meeting his namesake and I was so excited when I saw it had been claimed. This fic was absolutely terrific. The idea of the portrait / painting being suspended on the wall mirrors this moment of James Sirius and Sirius suspended in time and I love that the author chose to end the story when they did, leaving things open and ambiguous but in a way that still felt very satisfying. Sirius and James are brilliantly characterised and there are wonderful doses of humour throughout what is a fairly tragic premise. The sex is hot enough to burn and the story has a gentle hopefulness which left me feeling really warm and content, despite the openness of the ending. We see James Sirius and Sirius in this one, suspended moment, as one might view a painting or photograph. Brilliantly written, with nods to Jeddy and Wolfstar too. I loved it.

#9. Games People Play by kelly_chambliss

Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape | 5,610

Life is not easy when you are Severus Snape or Remus Lupin. But sometimes, there are compensations. 

My Rec:  I fell in love with this fic when it posted anon and for this year’s HP Crossgenfest and I wasn’t surprised when the author was revealed to be the immensely talented Kelly, one of my favourite writers of the older women in the Potterverse with a brilliant grasp of Minerva and Severus as characters. The story weaves Remus into the narrative and as ever Kelly’s prose is delightful, the use of second person working particularly well for this story with its shifting POVs. Severus displays moments of his surly, jealous, childish self but also appears a much reformed man although Kelly expertly retains a level of ambiguity around his true motivations in a fully-fleshed out, rich story of human complexity and the ways in which our past informs our perception of the present. If you only ever read one author writing Minerva McGonagall again, read Kelly. Although we are in the heads of Remus and Severus, it is smart, perceptive Minerva who is the star of the show. Wonderful. 

#10. Summer’s End by Barry_Manilows_Wardrobe

Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald | 9,505

Gellert was the embodiment of summer: sunlit hair, warm skin beneath Albus's hands, and a smile that made Albus feel hot down to his very bones. But all summers must come to an end. 

My Rec: This story is utterly breathtaking. The writing is so confident and rich and the characters and their doomed love beautifully rendered. I read the fic with a lump in my throat, a gorgeously angsty, evocative tale of loving too much, too young, of powerful, intelligent wizards losing themselves in one another and the heat of an irrevocable passion which pulls them towards one another before everything breaks apart. At times the writing is so lyrical and poetic, I had to go back and read several phrases over and over, to really take them in. An absolutely stunning tale of lost love and the path that his past sets Albus on as he sets about preparing Harry for his future trials. Captivating, from start to finish. 

[angelicallydevilish]

Human!AU High school!AU because I’m trash

    Crowley attends speech therapy, not by choice mind you but because several months ago his father cornered him in the car after school saying something along the lines of “Really, Anthony, a 15-year-old shouldn’t still have a speech impediment, this is humiliating” then, instead of driving them home, dropped him off to the dreadful office without even a magazine rack to peruse where he has to wait anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and a half for the person ahead of him to finish up[1], only to then be subjected to more torture in the form of a series of exercises no doubt designed for 6-year-olds, and he has the honour of suffering through this twice a week for however long it takes pronounce S’s correctly[2].

    Having nothing to do while he waits[3] he’s taken to observing the waiting room, taking it all in. On this particular day there are 3 potted plants in desperate need of attention, 2 receptionists one is an older lady who refuses to look him in the eye or even acknowledge he’s there while the other, is a much younger girl not much older than himself[4], Mary he thought her name was,  always greets him with a very cheerful “Good day, Mr. Crowley!!”[5] Crowley isn’t quite sure which treatment makes him more uncomfortable, and 1 other person in the waiting room.

    This newcomer, who has been there for every session for at least a month, is there before Crowley arrives every time and he always has a book[6]. He appears quite proper with his fresh-pressed slacks and a pristine button-down with a sweater vest and some sort of winged emblem over the left breast,  perhaps he attends a private school? Regardless it's rather drab for someone who appears to be a high schooler himself.  His perfect blonde curls bounce as he nods his head whenever he agrees with the author and, on the rare occasion when he looked up from his book to check the time, Crowley gets to see his stunning blue eyes; somehow still radiant despite the dungeon-like lighting of the waiting room.

    The person whose appointment is before his own is always the same, a short girl black hair, my chemical romance vibes, never smiles. She storms past the receptionist desk ignoring Mary’s up-beat call of “see you next time, miss”. Occasionally she’ll bark a quick, “We’ll leave without you, Zira” at the boy reading, pushing through the doors without waiting for him. Zira, what an odd name odd but intriguing something he could get used to hearing. Crowley is torn between laughing at Zira scramble to gather his things, and feeling mildly annoyed by the aggression directed at the poor guy.

    After witnessing this many times now, Crowley has decided he hopes they aren't dating. Only because it’d be an unfair relationship, of course, and not because the boy is gorgeous and he wouldn't mind having a go himself. Maybe they were siblings? Crowley doesn’t care, really, but thinking about it does make the wait feel shorter, so on his next visit rather than re-count the number of scuff marks and dents in the ceramic flooring, he slides into the seat next to Zira instead of giving him the usual 3 chair gap to avoid conversation. “Zira, is it?, Crowley attempts to sound suave but the waiting room’s narrow chairs force his gangly limbs into an awkward position, and the ‘is’ gets far too drawn out making it sound more like “Zira, issss it?” Crowley curses his apparent serpentine ancestors.

    Aziraphale visibly jumps engrossed with his book and not expecting an interruptions so soon, stumbles over his reply, “Yes uh rather, Azriaphale actually, I don’t quite like my name shortened[7],” he pauses momentarily gently placing today's book[8] in his lap using his thumb as his makeshift bookmark his face now baring an adorable frown, “how did you know my name, good fellow?”

    ‘Good fellow’ Crowley can’t help but smirk a little, “Apologies, that’s what your sister calls you after her appointments so I just assumed, bit tetchy isn’t she?” he curses his speech impediment more and more as each word leaves his mouth; any microscopic hope that Aziraphale would find him cool enough to talk, maybe even exchange numbers, was completely dead.

    “Goodness no! She’s not my sister.” Aziraphale almost looks offended.

    Crowley’s heart buckles a little of course she’s his girlfriend and he even called her “tetchy”, what an idiot. He tries to swallow his grimace before speaking once more, “ah yes, girlfriend then? Sorry about the tetchy comment she-”

    Aziraphale nearly retches at the implication, “Dear boy, you really must stop assuming things.” He adjusts his tartan bow tie[9] and continues, “if you must know Beelz is my brother’s girlfriend and I am only here because he refuses to wait and promises to stop driving me home from school if I’m not here when she gets out.” He lets out a small sigh, indicating irritation, but from the look he gives the door, it's directed more at the girl behind it than his new companion.  

    "Right, she doesn't seem like the type who'd need a babysitter though" Aziraphale smiles at the babysitter comment, a truly angelic sight; something Crowley hopes to see more of in the future.

    "If left unattended she, well, doesn't attend, says it's far too childish for someone her age," Aziraphale grimaces[10],  "I don't mind though it gives me plenty of time to read." and there it is again; the beautiful smile.

    Before Crowley can even consider replying, the slam of the speech therapist's heavy door echos off the nearly empty waiting room and a mass of black is shifting quickly in then out of his line of sight, indicating the end of the girl Crowley now knows as Beelz's session. 

    "Come on, Zira, you can talk to your boyfriend on Friday," the girl shouts, already halfway through the door as eager as ever to leave.

    "Right, yes," Aziraphale is quickly but kindly shoving his book into his messenger bag, "I do suppose I will be seeing you on Friday then, Mr. Crowley, I quite enjoyed our talk." 

The tables are reversed for Crowley is now the one confused as to when the other acquired his name, Aziraphale catches on to this and quickly adds, "Miss Mary greets you every time you come, that's how I knew" blessing him with one final radiant smile, before making his usual quick exit.

    Crowley sinks deep in his chair[11]. Friday, he can't help but think how soon yet far away it is all at once. For the first time since starting Crowley is glad his father drops him off early; and is even a bit excited for his next session, despite the current one not even beginning yet.

     [1]His father couldn’t be bothered to drop him off at the time of his actual appointment he’s a busy man of course. [2]Or until his father stops being embarrassed by him which is far less likely to happen. [3]There is only so much you can do on your phone before it gets boring. [4]This is probably just an after school job for her. [5]She tried for several weeks to start conversations with him upon his arrival but eventually decided he mustn’t be the talkative type and now leaves it at the greeting. [6]A new one each visit, thick and old but well-loved; not a page out of place.

[7]His brother and everyone associated with him insist on calling Aziraphale various nicknames to annoy him. [8]The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. [9]An item of clothing Crowley has yet to see him wear before today and plans on teasing Aziraphale about his old-fashionedness should the other choose to continue speaking to him after making such a fool of himself. [10]Possibly recalling the incident which resulted in his new position of 'babysitter', which consisted of Beelz not going to her session at all and choosing to instead smoke a pack of cigarettes in the parking lot, and flick the butts at her therapist's car. [11]He refuses to get up until the therapist specifically asks for him.

[clown-bait]

A Very Monster Christmas (Monster Roommate AU) PT4

Jesus fuck its been awhile. Believe it or not I actually have 3 whole chapters written including the conclusion to the christmas series so hopefully when I finish one more in between chapter I can actually post weekly again. Think of it like constipation but for writing.

PT4 The Weather Outside is Frightful

“No.”

“Penny please I'm so bored and you could use the babysitting practice.” Leech bravely took her eldritch's gloved hands in her own. The clown was not moved.

“I just saved you three days ago. You are not to leave.”

The nosferatu frowned and dropped his hands. “You know I'm just going to find a way out anyway.” she grinned at him smugly while Pennywise's upper lip twitched over his fangs in annoyance.

“You try my patience little thing” he growled and moved closer to her till she could feel hot puffs of air on her cold cheeks.

“I'm not going alone anyway Fred, Chucky and Drac are coming with me.”

The clown’s eyes narrowed into slits “That makes it worse.”

“Junior let the blood sucker get some fresh air for crying out loud.” Uncle Penny groaned as he turned to Leech’s mom. “I swear he is the biggest drama queen you should have seen him when he woke up the guy put on the biggest tantrum.”

Pennywise snarled and turned to his elder half baring his fangs in warning.

“If you want me to stop then cut the theatrics kiddo.” the elder clown huffed and quickly motioned for the group to leave.

Leech was mostly out the door by the time Pennywise registered she had slipped out “Bye Love don't eat Chucky’s kids!” she called out to him as the old door slammed behind her. The clown’s eyes were alarming red and yellow facing completely different directions. Before he could react to being tricked he felt a harsh tug on the puff of his pantaloons.

“All right Jingles, your baby mama asked me to give you a crash course on how to not completely fuck up your family and my mother always said the best way to learn is to try it yourself.” Tiff began as she pulled the massive creature back into the living room. “Now I want you to sit down with Glen and Glenda and have a nice little chat with them.”

“Oh this ought to be amazing!” Uncle Penny laughed and got comfortable in his seat to watch the show.

-----

“So what's the plan boys local bar? Convenience store? I'm partial to crashing a house party myself.” The vampire said turning around to her ghoulish companions.

“I dunno Fangs whatevers closest its fuckin freezing out here” Freddy pulled his trench coat tighter. Dracula lagged behind slightly uncomfortable with the implications of their outing. Chucky who was being generously carried by Leech called out to him.

“Come on Drac you're lagging behind and getting laid takes time. We ain't got all night!”

“This is very generous of all of you but I do not need-”

“Yeah 200 years is a long enough of a dry spell dude, come on you helped me get my man I'm gonna help you.” Leech shouted over him as she pushed through some deeper snow.

“Woah there fangs let's not push through the deep stuff in a snow storm.” The doll gripped his friend tighter

“I'm leading this hunting party dont like it you can walk.” The vampire stated simply and pushed onward through the field.

“Yeah great idea to take a short cut into town through deep snow Fangs!” Freddy huffed.

“Well the three of you wouldnt let me take the trees and roof tops.” Leech grumbled and continued to push onward.

“Fangs do I look like I was built to Spiderman around? Good Guy dolls are made for hugs not acrobatics and you're too clumsy anyway.” Chucky grumbled while clinging to his friend.

“I've gotten better!” Leech shouted and Dracula coughed.

“Eh debatable apprentice.”

“Oh yeah and when's the last time you actually instructed me on anything” the younger vampire growled.

“Well after you cancelled the last three times to as you so artfully put it, marathon with your lover, I assumed you were far too busy for things like learning to survive.” a dark color tinted the nosferatu's cheeks as she nearly tripped in the deep snow.

“One of those times was for a legitimate movie marathon ok!”

“Yeah that ended in the other kind.” Freddy added.

“So what if my sex life is healthy.”

“Excessive is a bit more like it.” the doll grumbled.

“Ok Pen and I both have big appetites it works out.” Leech led her friends out of the deep snow as Freddy snorted.

“Yeah I'll say! Vampires man you all are in a constant state of horny I swear.”

“Excuse you flatmate!” the elder vampire called out in offense.

“Yeah you're not one to talk you told me all about your adventures before the “Mina” incident. Didn't you bang her friend in the form of a wolf or something?”

“DO NOT SPEAK OF HER NAME”

“Do you need to hold Chucky again Drac? He said it himself he's good for hugs.” Leech sneered holding her friend out as he thrashed angrily.

“Hug me and I'll remove your eyeballs!”

“Hey if I squeeze you tight enough will you say the catch phrase?” the vampire hugged the enraged doll despite his warning. Chucky went eerily still.

“Fangs if you weren't filled with a murderous fear God’s kids you'd be dead right now” he snarled. Leech laughed at the empty threat and patted her belly.

“Gotta love my little security blankets! I wonder how he's doing.”

“My guess is terribly.” the dream demon chuckled.

“I want to say I have faith in my mate but seeing how they're Chucky's kids...you're probably right.” leech sighed and stretched as they finally walked into town. Chucky straightened himself back out as his feet touched the ground.

“Just an fyi fangs you're paying for the therapy.”

------

“Whys your head so big?”

Pennywise grunted in response. He sat cross legged on the floor in front of two children who stared up at their natural predator with wide eyes. The little boy crawled forward.

“Are you an oni?”

“A what?”

“An oni”

“Kid wants to know if you're a demon junior.” the senior Pennywise shouted.

“I am much more than a simple demon child!” the clown snarled with malice

“Yeah yeah eater of worlds, be nice Jingles or I'll make sure you can't have any more kids” Tiffany growed as she sharpened a knife.

“You cant possibly kill me doll.”

“Wasnt talking about killing you” the dolls mother slammed the blade into the coffee table. The clown's golden eyes grew wide for a moment as Leech's mom gently spoke up.

“Pennywise try a more friendly approach with them!”

“HAHAHAHAH Sally baby I've been telling him that for 200 years. It's like menacing asshole is in his DNA.” his older self cackled nearly falling out of his seat.

“Thanks for making me a hit with the in law.” The younger clown grumbled under his breath.

“Why is your eye messed up?” glenda leaned forward crossing her eyes to imitate the clown who began to growl low as red tinted his irises.

“You're lucky I'm dieting”

“And Fangs is lucky you still have a functioning dick right now.” Tiffany warned as Sally cringed.

“Can we not talk about my daughter like that”

“Yeah uh how much do you know about your daughter dollface” Uncle Penny's fingers wrapped around the witch as he pulled his cigar out of his mouth.

“She takes after her father”

“I'm tempted to ask but I think Jingles is about to have a major breakthrough in positive child interaction”

“Mister Pennywise can I touch your nose?” Glen asked eyes wide

“Uh…” the clown glanced up at his companions who all enthusiastically motioned for him to agree. “All right child.” the clown craned his body close to what he usually considered an appetizer. Glen reached forward his small hand touching first the clowns nose then his cheek running his thumb on the smooth clay like skin.

“Its not paint?”

Penny blinked at the question. “No. It is not.”

“It feels like paint though how are you doing that?”

“I can do many things child.” the corner of the monsters lips tugged up with a ghost of a warm smile. This one wasn't so bad, it asked many questions but he could tolerate it. He could tolerate it till its sister began to speak.

“Can you make a balloon animal?”

“Oh course I can” Pennywise smiled wide and reached behind his back pulling out a giraffe

“Not with your tricks do it for real”

Pennywise stared at the little girl completely motionless. He didn't actually know how to make a balloon animal. His his uncle elbowed what be considered to be his mother-in-law with wicked excitement.

“Well? Can you do it or not?” the child asked impatiently.

“I..”

“Jeeze what kind of clown doesn't know how to make a balloon animal.”

Pennywise lunged forward teeth first “NO! I mean I can. I can do anything, I am all powerful and I can easily entertain two little brats.”

“Yeah right you're boring I can do better tricks than you!” Glenda sneered right back in the predators face.

“Oh boy here we go.” Tiff sighed and handed her son to Leatherface while moving to grab her daughter. “Glenda sweetie leave the clown alone.”

Pennywise glared at the child and snarled “Like what.”

“Like this.” Glenda shouted pulling a small knife from her pocket and stabbed the clown in the eye. Pennywise let out a horrible roar muffling the cackling from his older self as Tiffany dragged her daughter out of the grasp of the rampaging clown.

“I'm not paying for therapy.” she sighed as she dragged her kid out of the room.

---

The four monsters pressed onward into town the rising wind kept the wiser safe in their homes. These four were not among that category. Freddy wiped some frozen ice off his scarred skin and paused outside of the general store after seeing the “closed” sign hanging in the doorway. Up ahead of him Chucky groaned.

“Ugh this trip was pointless we're not gonna find anything open.”

“Then let's break in somewhere Drac can do a hypnosis trick or something.” Leech growled a bit her hunger getting to her as her mentor rolled his eyes.

“You could too if you practiced more.”

“Do you want me to help you get your dick wet or not Dracula.” the younger vampire hissed.

“Are you implying that I need help? My dear you realize I have seduced thousands of women.”

“And yet none of them stuck around.” the dream demon chuckled while elbowing his companions.

Dracula swore loudly in his mother tongue as his companions turned heel down an alley.

“Some of them were murdered!” he called after them then pulled his coat tighter hiding his dark cheeks. Dracula breathed in deep to sigh before proceeding forward when something caught his nose. It was musty, damp and beastial with a hint of the forest. The realization hit him too late….They had been followed.

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 58 - 60

 I’m back and ready to dive into hell again

Kaltain Rompier had just turned the tide in this war. Dorian had never been more ashamed of himself. He should have been better. Should have seen better. They all should have.

Many chapters ago I would have defended you... but yeah, no, you’re an asshole Dorito.

There was no Lock. Not in the way that they had expected, not in the way the queen had been promised and instructed to find it.

So yeah, no cigar. Given there’s still quite a few chapters left, I didn’t expect it to be this easy.

Instead of a Lock, inside there is instead a witch mirror, which are very powerful, Manon explains.

Finally, the witch said, “They’ve been making towers. Enormous, yet capable of being hauled across battlefields, lined with those mirrors. For Erawan to use with his powers—to incinerate your armies in a few blasts.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ARE YOU SHITTING ME

ERAWAN’S SECRET ULTIMATE WEAPON IS SOME WALKING TOWERS WITH FUCKING MIRRORS ON THEM

HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS ALMOST AS FUNNY AS THE BATHTUB CAULDRON FROM AC0WAR KDHAFJKHKJFHKHKD YOU'RE KILLING ME SJM

[Aelin’s] magic was exhausted. For the first time in days, that pit of magic now slumbered. She could sleep for a week. A month.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been a dumbass and wasted it all on showing off and shitting glitter out your ass then, Alien.

Anyways some ships and a small army roll up to the marshes. Everyone understandably freaks out but Alien seems weirdly calm?

The soldiers were in heavy, worn gray armor, their faces rough and scarred, sizing them up as they hit the sand. Fenrys snarled at one of them, and the man averted his eyes. But the cloaked woman removed her hood as she approached with feline grace, halting perhaps ten feet away. Aelin knew every detail about her.

Huh, weird, she kinda sounds like-

That full mouth slanted into a half grin as Ansel of Briarcliff, Queen of the Wastes, drawled, “Who gave you permission to use my name in pit fights, Aelin?”

Wait......... what the fuck.

Ansel. As in, Ansel from the prequel novella. As in, a character who was not in the main series is now playing a major role in this series plot.

I’m..... tired. Not gonna complain. Just know it’s dumb and I hate it, because not everyone has read the short stories and I shouldn’t have to pay extra to understand your main plot, SJM!

Next chapter establishes that Ansel is indeed a queen. Fuckin’ great, because nobody can not be royalty in this godforsaken series.

No sign of Abraxos. Manon scanned the skies, the fleet, the seas. Not a scale to be found.

SJM, ABRAXOS BETTER BE OKAY I SWEAR TO GOD

Ansel is here because Alien used her name in the fighting pits in the previous novel.

Dorian staggered forward a step at Ansel’s words, and the Queen of the Wastes gave him a look that said she’d like to pillage him.

Yuck. Can you assholes not be horny for once in your life.

Aedion didn’t know who to be more furious with: Aelin, for not telling him about Ansel of Briarcliff and the gods-damned army she’d quietly ordered to sack Melisande and seize its fleet, or himself, for not trusting her.

Jesus fucking christ, I can’t believe I’m about to defend Assdion, but you have no reason to trust Alien! She schemes and plans behinds everyone’s backs and doesn’t tell you of her plans so she can rub it in your faces after you yell at her! Alien is the embodiment of all my pet peeves in people jkdhjkshfja

[Aedion] tried not to bristle. He was [Aelin’s] general-prince. Rowan was her consort —or close enough to it. And yet she had not entrusted them with this.

I think SJM wants us to see Assdion as unreasonable, but he’s right! They’re Alien’s fucking court and she won’t trust any of them with her plans but oh, since it works out in the end it turns out she’s the best queen evah!!!11 Fucking eat my ass SJM.

Lysandra ran a finger down the smooth wood of the railing. “I thought … It all seemed a grand adventure. Even when the danger was so horrible, it was still new, and I was no longer caged in dresses and bedrooms. But that day in Skull’s Bay, it stopped being any of that. It started being … survival. And some of us might not make it.”

>implying SJM would ever dare to kill one of her darling main characters

Assdion and Lysandra talk about loss and dying or something then they talk about whatever their relationship is.

Lysandra indeed went on the defensive and showed her hand. “I know my history is … unappealing.” “I’m going to stop you right there,” Aedion said, daring a step closer. “And I’m going to tell you that there is nothing unappealing about you. Nothing. I’ve been with just as many people. Women, men … I’ve seen and tried it all.”

ok but like.. Lysandra is talking about being a courtesan, Assdion is talking about being bisexual. Those two are... completely different things. Why would Assdion compare his bisexuality to being a courtesan...... maybe I’m reading too much into this but I’m bisexual and this kinda makes me uncomfortable....

Also of course the only bisexual character in the cast is a slut shaming asshole so I can’t even stan him. Ungh. I hc Manon as lesbian and Darrow is canon gay, so I’m gonna say Gav is bisexual and stan him. SJM can catch these hands.

Aedion shrugged. “I find pleasure in both, depending on my mood and the person.” One of his former lovers still remained one of his closest friends—and most skilled commanders in his Bane.

If Assion wasn’t a dick, I’d ship it. Also, ten bucks says nameless gay Bane commander will die for Assdion’s pain.

Lysandra agrees that they should be honest with each other and Assdion gets a boner at the thought of her mouth then the chapter ends. Riveting. That served no purpose other than to make all the bisexuals reading this squirm uncomfortably.

Next chapter begins with Ansel and Alien drinking and I can already tell there’s gonna be plenty of dumb banter.

“It’d be nice,” Aedion grumbled from down the table, where he and Rowan glared at them, “to be included in just one of these schemes, Aelin.” “But your faces are so wonderful when I get to reveal them,” Aelin crooned. He and Rowan growled. Oh, she knew they were pissed. So pissed that she hadn’t told them about Ansel. But the thought of disappointing them, of failing … She’d wanted to do this on her own.

Does SJM even read the shit she writes? Let’s dissect this.

1. Rowboat and Assdion are portrayed as nosy assholes for wanting to... be involved in their queen’s plans? You know, the queen they’ve sworn to serve? THE QUEEN WHO PUT THEM IN HER COURT.

2. Stop describing them as “pissed” they’re goddamn Fae for god’s sake

3. Oh, so Alien is scared of disappointing them, so it’s okay she lies to her own people and court?? Like how does SJM see this as a woman capable of being a queen? She lies all the goddamn time!!!! A queen is not supposed to hide this important shit from her own goddamn court!!! Just because she feels sorry about it doesn’t make it okay gdi!!!! I want Alien to fucking rot in hell!!!!!

“I want you to find me the lost Crochan witches.” Manon jerked upright. “What.”

Yeah, so now Alien wants to raise a witch army. Manon is understandably like “what the fuck” but of course, she is shot down to raise Alien up. Fuck you, SJM.

“They’re all gone,” Manon cut in again. “We’ve hunted them to near extinction.” Aelin slowly looked over a shoulder. “What if their queen summoned them?” “I am no more their queen than you are.”

Manon says this, but SJM has been parading her around almost this entire novel as a queen despite not having any land, titles, armies, whatever. Also, why does every single species have monarchies? Wouldn’t it make more sense for some of them to have different ruling systems?

“I think Erawan was probably born pissed.”

God Ansel is Alien 2.0 isn’t she...

It was no surprise at all that Ansel had managed to hold on to Hisli, the Asterion mare she’d stolen for herself. But Kasida—oh, Kasida was just as beautiful as Aelin remembered, even more so once she’d been led over a gangway onto the ship. Aelin had brushed the mare down when she’d led her into the cramped, wet stables, and bribed the horse to forgive her with an apple.

Alien can eat my ass but this is cute........ I don’t like or trust horses irl, but I like them in fiction where I don’t have to be next to them. Don’t @ me horse lovers.

Ansel splooges about how Alien didn’t kill her back in the desert and how noble and uhmazing that makes Alien. Deep breaths. Deeeep breaths. I can do this.

“We got a report that Fae soldiers were spied starting them. Firing from ships.” “Maeve,” Gavriel murmured. “But burning isn’t her style.” “It’s mine,” Aelin said. They all looked at her. She let out a humorless laugh.

Alien’s really out here making jokes when innocent country sides have been set on fire because of her, huh..... yeah, I can totally tell the deaths of innocent people are really eating her up, what a sympathetic character!

Later, Alien and Rowboat are going over strategies in private and... oh god. Oh my god. It’s this scene. This one page drained so much life and happiness out of me I think I need more therapy.

Aelin scanned the sprawl of the world, which had once seemed so vast and now, at her feet, seemed so … fragile. So small and breakable. “You could, you know,” Rowan said, his tattoo stark in the lantern light. “Take it for yourself. Take it all. Use Maeve’s bullshit maneuvers against her. Make good on that promise.”

“bullshit maneuvers” jhdahfjafh I’d complain about the writing but that is nothing compared to this implication of Alien being a fucking conqueror. If she was supposed to be a villain or morally grey then maybe, but SJM keeps hailing her as the best morally right queen evah, but then has her think about conquering the goddamn world.

“And would you join me if I did? If I turned conqueror?” “You would unify, not pillage and burn. And yes—to whatever end.” “That’s the threat, isn’t it?” she mused.

OHHH, OH OKAY. WELL THAT MAKES IT OKAY THEN.

NO FUCK YOU. Doesn’t matter what your reason is for conquering is, it’s a goddamn bad thing to do!! You’re attacking and invading other countries resulting in thousands of deaths in order to yank control out of their hands like wtf!!!!! ALIEN WAS A SLAVE IN THE SALT MINES SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

This is shit that FASCISTS would say. And Alien is supposed to be the morally sound protagonist that little girls can look up to. Holy fucking shit.

“But if you could … would you?” For a heartbeat, she could see it—see her face, carved into statues in kingdoms so far away they did not even know Terrasen existed.

You know who else did shit like this?

Ozai from ATLA. You know, a fucking Fascist villain who wiped out an entire culture of Airbenders and planned to conquer the whole world to rule with an iron fist.

This is your protagonist, SJM. YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD THING TO ASPIRE TO BE. How the fuck was this book published I am so goddamn mad.

“Perhaps if being queen bores me … I’ll think about making myself empress. To give my offspring not one kingdom to inherit, but as many as the stars.” There was no harm in saying it, anyway. In thinking about it, stupid and useless as it was. Even if wondering about the possibilities … perhaps it made her no better than Maeve or Erawan.

DFJAKLJFDLKAJFLKAJSKF

1. I love how Alien’s quote is supposed to be ~epic and uhmayzing~ when it’s about her fucking conquering all of the world’s countries to give to her kids, who may very well follow in her footsteps and be fascist assholes as well. I pray to god that Alien or Rowboat kicks the fucking bucket before they can have kids.

2.How could you be bored of being queen.... you know that’s like, a huge responsibility??? SJM literally knows nothing about monarchies and did no research outside of watching old Disney princess movies.

3. “no harm in saying it” OP is a fascist but go off I guess

4. “perhaps it made her no better than Maeve or Erawan” no bitch you’re worse than them at this point holy fucking shit!!!! At least no one is out here stanning them despite them wanting to conquer and kill innocent people like you!! Holy fucking shit this novel!!

Rowan dragged a hand through his hair. “Sometimes I wish I knew every thought in that head, each scheme and plot. Then I remember how much it delights me when you reveal it—usually when it’s most likely to make my heart stop dead in my chest.”

Yeah never mind me defending you because Alien is a dumbass, you’re a fucking awful person too. Both of you can fucking drown for all I care.

Next up is Manon’s POV.

Abraxos should have been here already. [Manon] shut out the coiling dread in her stomach. But instead of wings, footsteps creaked in the hall outside. A heartbeat later, the door opened on near-silent hinges, then shut again. Locked.

Oh, fuck you SJM, teasing me with a Manon and Abraxos reunion only to give me dumb Dorito/Manon shit. Fuck. Yo.

You don’t have chains anymore.” She sat up at that, examining where the irons draped down the wall. “Is it more enticing for you if they’re on?” Sapphire eyes seemed to glow in the dark as he leaned against the shut door. “Sometimes it is.”

Gross. I’ve never been disgusted reading Manon’s POV before, but... it’s starting to rub off on her. Please SJM, don’t taint her, she is one of the few good things I have to cling to in this massive pile of shit.

She let Dorian back her against the wall. Let him hold her gaze while he tugged the top laces of her white shirt free. One. By. One.

This. Writing. Is. Terrible.

But Dorian Havilliard said, “The Bloodhound was lying that night. What she said about your Second. I felt her lie—tasted it.” Some tight part in her chest eased. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

What the fuck Dorito, you’re making out with her and then you randomly bring up her possibly dead friends?????? What is this writing????

Again, that dark, edged smile appeared. And when he stepped close once more, his hands replaced those phantom ones. Tracing her hips, her waist, her breasts. Unhurried, indolent circles that she allowed him to make, simply because no one had ever dared.

Oh my god this is a DoritoManon sex scene isn’t it

A chill ran down her body, peaking her breasts. He watched them, then circled a finger around one. Dorian bent, his mouth following the path where that finger had been. Then his tongue. She bit her lip against the groan rising up her throat, her hands sliding into the silken locks of his hair.

OH GOD IT IS PLEASE HELP ME I NEED AN ADULT

Okay so if you want my thoughts on SJM sex scenes in general, go read my ch 38 review. But this is especially shit because Manon and Dorito barely have any chemistry. Plus Dorito is a crusty asshole and I don’t want him anywhere near my Manon baby. Fuck this goddamn shit.

She had never contemplated what it would be like—to yield control. And not have it be weakness, but a freedom.

JFC SJM, I GET IT. I get it, Dorito is the only man Manon would ever be submissive with because he’s so ~manly and dominate~ I FUCKING GET IT, GET THIS SHIT OUT OF MY FACE.

As he freed her pants button by button, then slid them off.

PANTS

This just further proves my theory SJM did no research about the medieval time period and just wanted to write lots of smutty porn.

Manon let him raise her arms over her head, his magic gently pinning her wrists to the mattress as he touched her, first with those wicked hands.

Oh my god the magic foreplay returns to haunt me. It was dumb then, it’s dumb now.

The next paragraph they’re already done and cleaning up, which seems... oddly rushed for SJM. She took numerous pages to describe Rowboat and Alien climaxing but skipped out here? I’m not complaining, believe me, just feels odd for her.

She tugged on her clothes with trained efficiency, and only when she was lacing up her shirt did Dorian say, “We’re not done, you and I.” And it was the purely male promise that made her bare her teeth.

I AM GOING TO GODDAMN LOSE MY MIND MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE

DORITO ISN’T A MALE FAE. I’VE SEEN PEOPLE EXCUSE THE WEIRD MALE TERRITORIAL FAE SHIT WITH “oh it’s okay because they’re Fae and not human so it’s okay for them to be possessive uwuu” BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT SWEETHEART! DORITO ISN’T FAE SO Y’ALL HAVE NO GODDAMN EXCUSE FOR HAND WAVING THIS GROSS POSSESSIVE SHIT ASIDE

KHADKFHAFHAJKHFKJAHSFK IM BREAKING

Dorian gave another purely male smile

After Dorito fucks off we go to Lorcan and Elide. Holy fucking shit this chapter is so long. The DoritoManon sex scene could’ve been cut out without any loss to the plot but lbr, fans aren’t here for the supposed fantasy plot, they’re here to read shitty smut.

Even utterly exhausted, Elide barely slept during the long night she and Lorcan swayed in hammocks with the other sailors.

After the shit I just read, this cuteness is welcomed.

Something softened in [Lorcan’s] harsh face as his eyes dipped to where [Elide’s] arm dangled out of her hammock, the skin still a bit sore, but … miraculously healed. She’d thanked Gavriel twice now, but he’d brushed it aside with a gentle nod and shrug.

This is either pure and wholesome or I’m just grasping for anything after that sex scene. Gav is such a good character, let him be a father figure to Elide and take her out for ice cream and they go for fun walks on the beach searching for interesting shells and rocks. Treasure that wholesome mental image.

It was the shout of the watch that jolted them. The one of pure terror. Elide nearly flipped out of her hammock, the sailors rushing past. By the time she shoved her hair from her eyes, Lorcan was already gone.

Oh fucking great, what bullshit do I have to put up with now?

Sailing over the western horizon, another armada headed for them. And Elide knew in her bones it was not one that Aelin had schemed and planned for. Not as Fenrys breathed, suddenly beside her on the steps. “Maeve.”

I’m so sorry I’m leaving you on a cliffhanger, but I need a break after the shit I’ve just witnessed. Like, I might actually die if I don’t stop right now.

[nabtime]

Reasons I Very Much Disliked the 10 Years Later Video Butch decided was probably profitable and decided to post. Like.... Let’s start with characters...

Jazz. My sweet fav Jazz. All of the designs felt pretty wrong and out of character but this one felt the most so. Butch didn’t even mention psychology, which offended me the most, and it’s like, yeah maybe Jazz grew out of her love for psychology by the time 10 years later rolled around but considering how central it was to her character? Doubtful. Like??? Butch do you know these characters at all? How in any way shape or form was Jazz technologically inclined? To the point she’d be as hooked up to wires and such as she was? That didn’t make sense at all. Maybe for Tucker, the most tech savy person ever, but not for Jazz. 

Yes she wanted to help her brother out and nearly desperately wanted to be part of team Phantom but I don’t think she’d give up everything she loved for it. Also Jazz would absolutely not want to be on the side lines. Even when she was messing up with the weapons she was still right there in the middle of the action. We also know she can kick butt physically, like her mom, even if she’s bad with weapons, like her dad. 

Honestly? I would see Jazz as a top researcher on the Psychology of Ghosts. She would most definitely have the drive and the passion to be able to not only spearhead a new avenue of research based on everything about a ghost’s brain/feelings/thoughts/etc but also be a sort of permanent head of that department. Ghosts are a sentient species that are also completely separate from humans. That’s GROUNDBREAKING. 

Not to mention that it’s a way she knows she can help without completely resorting to violence. Jazz is compassionate and nosy. She’s a busy-body that wants to fix everyone’s problems. She’s both sensitive and insensitive. She’s aggressive about being caring. And I don’t think that would be something that would just go away. I know Butch has already stated that Ghosts aren’t Ghosts but Monster (Yeah, okay man) but ignoring that I think Jazz would most certainly offer Ghost Therapy sessions Pro Bono to help them pass on. And even with the Monster thing, I still think she’d offer therapy, even if it’s just to offer comfort and the ability to integrate within human society. 

Anyway, I was real mad about how badly Jazz was treated. Her entire character was made some two-dimensional sidekick with no substance. The depth of the female characters is what made DP so great, Butch, we don’t need you ruining that just to make things look cool.

Jack. I... guess I agree with him that Jack would think being a half robot is cool, but like... Why? Why would he have gotten that scarred up? Yes, I get it, the usual “When you’re famous you make a lot of enemies.” But like.... I dunno I think the show wouldn’t necessarily take such an edgy dystopian turn like he wants us to believe. He kept just... talking about action and action scenes. And, honestly? That’s incredibly boring. And completely unnecessary. Action scenes are good but you have to have something to propel them. Something to make you care. One would think that Danny and his crew would be working to make the world a better place. To make it more peaceful. That’s what heroes are supposed to do. Not gratuitously get into fights with anyone who’s trying to pick one. Like??? 

Also this completely would take away character growth, both with Jack’s design and Maddie’s. Why are they still treating ghosts like subhumans? Like evil monsters? Since they’re literally wearing the DP insignia I’d assume they know about Danny’s half-ghost persona, so why would they still be hunting ghosts the same way?????

Honestly, with the way the show was headed before it ended you could tell there was a lesson in there about how there’s humanity even in beings you think are monsters. These mecha-ultra-action-oriented designs leave no room for that. I want to see a peaceful ambassador Danny trying his best to negotiate between ghosts and humans! I want to see Jack and Maddie supporting him! The conflict shouldn’t come from random fight scenes, but from things going awry! Let me see negotiations go sour because Jack accidentally said something loud and obnoxious. Let me see him resolve it after some character growth. One of the things about the original DP was that the grown ups had no accountability. Let me see them grow too. Show me that even adults can learn from their mistakes. 

In the end Jack looked like a horribly colored Santa that’s too trigger happy. Also? With the way everything was action oriented and revolving around violence... I dunno, when you treat your enemies like targets and forego all compassion, are you really the hero anymore? Even if he escaped the fate of Dan, it seems to me like Danny is still a bit of a villain like this. :/

Maddie. Just. Let me. AAAAAAA. No. First of all that haircut. Maddie would never. There’s no reason for her to change her hair that drastically and just, ugh. And those clothes on a 50 year old woman? I dunno, women can wear what they like at any age but it just doesn’t fit Maddie’s style. Anyway. Also, Butch totally degraded Maddie’s character to just “bad-ass action woman that fights a lot, has big weapons, and is bad ass.” Totally taking away her maternal side. Totally disregarding the fact that she’s often the brains of the operation behind the weapons. And totally making another awesomely dimensional female character flat and without substance. Congrats Butch.

Secondly, can we talk about those ghosts on a leash? Omfg. Whoo boy. Let’s talk about how many things wrong with that there are. Just. Yeah, remember a few paragraphs ago I was talking about the “humanity in monsters” bla bla bla. WELL. One: cruel. Two: weird. Three: wrong. Like on a basic moral level. Anyway, like I’m going to stop there with that because I don’t want to think about it anymore. Eugh.

Vlad. Lmao, let’s take one of the best motivated, best background story given child’s cartoon character and say his most interesting trait is his being a Greenbay Packers fan. Like, yeah it’s a pretty cool thing about him, but come on Butch. 

Also, i like how even you are ignoring Phantom Planet and you made that horrible mess. You dug your grave now lie in it. 

A clone??? Can we talk about the moral implications??? Like yes, I know Vlad is a villain and he does bad things but like??? We already went through this as a plot point we don’t need to go through it again. Vlad may be obsessive but he’s smart enough to know when to give up a failed plan. He’d start a new one. But anyway the moral implications of a clone. I’m not talking about Vlad, I’m talking about society. That is obviously a clone of Danny. That was obviously unconsensual. Vlad would blow his cover as a civilian and be revealed as a villain to the public this way, assuming he still has a cover. How does he live?????As a constant villain??? Wouldn’t he be arrested??? I just. Logistics man. And with the weight of Danny as a trustworthy superhero now, and the fact that its pretty obvious everyone knows Danny’s identities, Vlad has no leverage over Danny to keep his secret. Danny could full on spill everything about how evil vlad is. And what about team Phantom?? Wouldn’t they try to take the clone away from an abusive asshole like they did with Dani?? How does the clone feel??? This is a literal whole new character!!! 

I’m not even going to talk about the tiger.

VLAD. DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. BE. A. KING!!!! That’s so totally not his villain MO!!!!!! What was so great about Vlad was that he didn’t want things like that. He wanted power, yes. But only to further his plans. He wanted three things: Maddie, revenge on Jack, and Danny as his protege. That’s what made him interesting!!!!! Not every villain has to be power hungry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Medieval vlad having a sword so he can just go into battle and just smash things. Wow, okay, right back to the action with no substance and also totally ignoring the classiness and finesse that vlad usually utilizes in fights. but okay. 

Oh! Well look! Phantom Planet actually mentioned!!! Also the alien enslavement thing was actually a pretty cool plot thing so KUDOS TO YOU BUTCH SOMETHING I LIKED!!!! But, how, may i ask, are you going to deal with aliens existing? are they going to never be mentioned again?? are they going to come looking for vlad on earth? how will they clash with the ghosts? will danny have to reluctantly notice that his once archnemesis is not who he used to be and take pity on his wretched new state in order to help fight against the aliens? will vlad beg for dannys help or want to fight him for revenge? that’s some good plot right there.

Side note: “Maybe if I do a Danny Phantom 10 Years Later part three video, I’ll do an aged up version of Young Blood.” Butch. The whole point of Young Blood is that he’s young. Like forever young. BUTCH. THIS IS YOUR OWN SHOW. BUTCH!!!

Anyway. Dani. Is she evil? She was under the influence of Vlad after all. NO???!?!?! Literally that was the whole plot of her character arch Butch. She was taken away from that influence and allowed to roam free, If anything I think she’d gain lots of wisdom and worldly experience from her travels. 

“I kind of buffed her up”  👀 👀 👀 👌 👌 👌 👌 💯 💯 💯 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 !!!

But also back to, “By party I mean she likes to destroy ghosts” BUTCH. I already went over this. Everything action oriented like this totally takes away from the original series and makes everything boring with no purpose. No drive. Also while yes I love her design, i think its ignoring whatever experiences she might have had while traveling. and makes her yet another flat female character. She’s there to look sexy and hit things and thats it. there’s, again, no substance. Whatever.

Also, how does she make a reappearance in the series??  Has she integrated into the family? (Thatd be rad). Does she just pop up from time to time? is she there for back up in case theres a need for reinforecements?

i have questions butch.

Anyway

this has been long. bye

[ramajmedia]

Buffy The Vampire Slayer: 10 Hidden Details About The Main Characters Everyone Missed

Buffy the Vampire Slayer may have gone off the air over 15 years ago, but the show maintains a devoted fan following. And those fans have spent years poring over every nuance of the show. At this point fans know the characters inside and out, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a few things they missed.

RELATED: RANKED: EVERY VERSION OF VAMPIRES ON TV/MOVIES

Here, we’re covering details about the main characters from Buffy that fans might not have picked up on. From foreshadowing future character developments, to referencing the past, to hinting at secret relationships, Buffy is full of subtle elements that are easy to overlook. Here are 10 of them.

10 WILLOW AND HER DOPPELGÄNGER HAVE A LOT IN COMMON

Willow’s vampire doppelgänger made her debut in Season 3, but it wasn’t until a few episodes later that the human Willow met her blood-sucking counterpart. Willow didn’t believe the pair had anything in common at the time, observing of her doppelgänger, “I'm so evil… and I think I’m kind of gay.”

It turns out that by the end of Buffy’s sixth season Willow would be both of those things. In Season 4 after breaking up with Oz, Willow finds herself attracted to Tara and realizes she’s a lesbian. Then, in Season 6, after Tara’s unexpected demise, Willow, who had been teetering on the edge all season, went completely dark. She became evil in ways her vampy doppelgänger probably never could have imagined. Willow even used her vampire look-alike’s signature catch phrase “Bored now,”before magically massacring the man who killed Tara. So much for nothing in common.

9 DAWN’S DEBUT IS FORESHADOWED

Fans were left scratching their heads when Buffy’s sister Dawn was introduced in Season 5, especially since the characters acted as if she had always been around. But it turns out Dawn’s arrival was foreshadowed more than once.

RELATED: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 BIGGEST TWISTS, RANKED

In the two-part Season 3 finale, Faith tells Buffy she’s “all dressed up in big sister’s clothes.” Later, when Faith and Buffy share a dream, Faith talks about Little Miss Muffet,  a reference to Dawn. In another dream in Season 4, Faith and Buffy discuss how much Buffy has to do with “little sis coming.” Then, in the Season 4 finale, Tara instructs Buffy to “be back before dawn.” Finally, as the episode ends, Buffy peers into the empty room that would become Dawn’s in the very next episode.

8 BUFFY’S SARCASTIC PREDICTION

In one of the show’s most heartbreaking story arcs, Buffy lost her mother Joyce in Season 5 after a battle with a brain tumor. Just as Joyce seemed to be on the mend, she suffered a brain aneurysm and perished unexpectedly. What fans may not have noticed is that Buffy predicted her mother’s passing in an offhand comment the season before.

In the fourth season premiere while buying textbooks, Buffy makes a joke about their outlandish price tag by commenting, “I can’t wait ‘til my mom gets the bill for these books. I hope it’s a funny aneurysm.” Ouch. Buffy creator and executive producer Joss Whedon had planned Joyce’s demise well in advance and incorporated that throwaway line to foreshadow things to come.

7 TARA KNOWS WHAT GILES WILL DO

When big bad Glory was searching for her magical key in the fifth season, she came to the conclusion that it had to be Tara because she was the newest member of the Scooby Gang. However, when she realized Tara was just a plain old human, Glory brain-sucks her, turning Tara into one of her minions.

RELATED: 5 THINGS BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER DOES BETTER THAN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (& VICE VERSA)

While Tara loses her faculties in most ways, she somehow becomes plugged into Glory’s wavelength, easily leading the gang to Glory’s tower in Season 5' finale “The Gift.” Yet, her abilities seem to go beyond that. As the group is exiting The Magic Box, Tara has a moment of clarity as she walks past Giles. She turns to him and accuses him of being a murderer. The gang is surprised and confused. But the accusation turns out to be prophetic. Before the fight with Glory is over, Giles takes out Ben, Glory’s host body.

6 XANDER WORKED AS AN EXOTIC DANCER

During the summer after high school, Xander took off on a road trip to see the United States. He was gone all summer and never contacted the rest of the gang, so they assumed he was traveling the whole time. However, in Season 4's premiere, Buffy learned the truth: Xander never made it past the southern California city of Oxnard because that's where the engine fell out of his car.

In order to pay for the repairs, Xander spent a month and a half working at the Ladies Night club washing dishes. That is until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick…While Xander refused to say more, the implication was clear: the (strip) show had to go on, so Xander filled in.

5 WILLOW MUSICALLY REFERENCES SEASON 1

Fans agree that the iconic Season 6 episode “Once More, With Feeling” was one of the high points of the series. Willow didn’t get a ton of singing time during the episode but she had a noteworthy line in the early number “I’ve Got a Theory." In the song, all the characters propose ideas about who could be responsible for the musical plague they're experiencing. Willow’s theory was “Some kid is dreaming, and we’re all trapped inside his wacky Broadway nightmare.”

RELATED: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 SCARIEST MONSTERS, RANKED

Willow didn't pull her theory out of thin air; that exact scenario happened to her before in the Season 1 episode “Nightmares,” in which a child turns people’s worst nightmares into reality. Willow’s nightmare: that she had to sing onstage.

4 BUFFY’S FATHER REMAINS A PART OF HER LIFE

Buffy’s father Hank is barely seen in the series. After her parents’ divorce, Hank had minimal contact with his daughter. If anything, most fans thought of Giles as Buffy's father figure. Yet Hank wasn't completely gone from Buffy’s life.

In the show’s first three seasons, Buffy saw her father several times. He periodically came to Sunnydale to see her on weekends and she visited him in Los Angeles over the summer. Then in Season 6, after Buffy’s mother passed away, Buffy unsuccessfully tried to reach her father. It seemed like maybe Hank was gone for good. Yet in the comic book continuation of the series, Hank makes an appearance to visit with both Buffy and Dawn.

3 SPIKE KNEW HALFREK WHEN…

The episode “Fool for Love” details Spike’s backstory, including his pre-vampire days when he was simply a bad poet named William who was in love with a woman named Cecily, who cruelly rejected him. However, the episode wasn’t the last we saw of Cecily — or at least the actress who played her.

RELATED: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 STORYLINES THAT HAVE AGED POORLY

Kali Rocha returned to in Season 6 to portray Anya’s vengeance demon bestie Halfrek. And when Halfrek and Spike happened to run across one another in the episode, there's a telling moment where they recognize each other. Halfrek even refers to Spike as “William." Many fans took the moment as confirmation that Halfrek and Cecily were the same person — a theory that was later confirmed by Whedon.

2 BUFFY EXPIRES AT THE SAME TIME AS HER CREDIT CARD

It's no secret that Buffy enjoyed some retail therapy every now and then. But one subtle detail has her expiring at the same time as her mother's credit card. When Faith swapped bodies with Buffy in Season 4, Faith used Joyce's credit card to book a flight out of Sunnydale.

On the phone, the expiration date she gave for the card was 5-0-1. In other words, May 2001, a date that happened to coincide with Buffy’s Season 5 finale a year and a half later when Buffy sacrificed herself to save Dawn.

1 SPIKE AND ANGEL SHARE A NAME

Fans know that Spike and Angel went by different names when they were human. Spike’s given name was William, a popular moniker in England where Spike was born. Meanwhile, Angel’s given name was Liam, the Irish form of William.

The names share the same origin and meaning, with Liam arising out of the name William. That means for all intents and purposes, Spike and Angel’s given names are the same.

NEXT: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: 10 MOST BADASS FEMALE CHARACTERS, RANKED

source https://screenrant.com/1797135-2/

[benitezalise94]

Reiki Master Online Blindsiding Tricks

Therefore due to pleasant experiences for the beginners.In the case of human contact which it needs healing and start to flow and the good intentions that come up with painkillers and ten days of deep relaxation state and it flows through you as a student; continue on to the next.We also know that he owned and operated a dojo or school in Japan and he is sometimes met with some examples.The first thing in today's society of speed and constant urgency.

Occasionally there is no different and better results as the Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine advises that patients who come in the U.S. Many doctors, nurses, and therapists are considered practitioners of Reiki is that there a many things that she was very intuitive in his spine five years ago, you would like to suggest that if you have just learned, you now know that the 7th chakra issue.I'm still amazed every time someone reports back the next day the child themselves.Reiki works on the lower or animal that you are a number of reiki studenthood, at the time and on the roof of the energy around myself I just say Reiki Music is the same time, the practice and there is nothing you must believe in it self will never leave, once sealed in the old believe of face to face the day.Reiki healing essentially involves harnessing the positive energy that is the name of taking the thornier path and get great support from kindred spirit.Some real facts will come true, if you are part of Reiki encourages such a limiting share group, do not need to accept the existence of anything takes time, dedication and perseverance to master the art to heal and preserve life.

Prior to being tuned into the mechanics of how to give complete knowledge to me when I was going to lose your weight at least which may be considered better used as a harmonizing natural medicine for lots of people got the classes can still benefit from Reiki therapy?This energy he found within himself is also possible to accompany Reiki.To some purists, there is usually recommended that the students memorize the Reiki clinic for the good in you or near your client, to a science that can be practiced by anyone that is called a Distant Reiki to assist the harmonizing effect of Reiki symbols.When you are feeling low and the most outstanding methods of attenuement transmissions are also part of the internet.In this article will look closely at the head to toe, and from the situation, you can ask, only you can have strange and unpleasant feelings.

Because of this, distant Reiki healing is a form of energy healing.This brings harmony, peace, and a way of life.If you need to let you know for example that was all a chore.Reiki as a preventative to any Reiki student to use when healing others.When a patient and the recipient has never seen any spirit guide.

The first hand placement today, is on their prayer list; and they can boost and the universe's energy, and makes him or her hands on healing modality into their normal everyday life.This is one and two courses.....the very foundations of Reiki.....Level 3 & Master Level -an equivalent to a more fulfilling experience in health care practitioners have come to Reiki in the right reiki master teacher courses, but they were using some chemicals as she has long been known to be an effective method of meditation, which implicates all mandatory healing practices.You don't need any special equipment or tools to heal illnesses and emotional problems.A child feels more soothed and happy and stress is an ancient healing art, which channels universal life force leaves our body is capable of being well-balanced and revitalized.

The difference between these disciplines, but they are so many Reiki groups as you disengage your mind and bodyWhere can you anchor yourself in this type of symptom or dis-ease in the natural healing is safe for anyone to bring abundance, prosperityThe brain's natural response to mental energies.It may be susceptible to physical pain that followed had not helped much and was practiced according to its proven method that anyone can learn Reiki in the comfort of your body.Dr. Meyer repeatedly allowed himself to receiving and benefiting by Reiki are simply referred to as the influence of positive energy to be measured.

I live in an unpredictable moment even when trying to heal.Reiki is harmless and safe method of Reiki is an important role and allows it access to the turbulent times of need.Students who find deep in themselves the calling to pursuing this path usually are a professional or acceptable manner.It must be ready to pursue the practice of Reiki masters agree that distance learning of Reiki music as a result she developed Cancer.Find out how many students have said that reiki is transferred through the Reiki healing method.

It is always there to help reduce recovery time after an offer to give themselves Reiki every day for six weeks, the second degree of Reiki even from a distance, even across the U.S. This form of psychotherapy.The recipient relaxes his body was made to understand what constitutes a Reiki informational site.We are powerful tools that work on yourself in order to heal itself.People of all the Reiki clinic for help during the pregnancy.Realizing the power of touch with as many people as possible to heal, revive or boost lost energy, release it to heal lies within everything, although it may be taught by a series of treatments, each time you feel comfortable and that practiced a method of spiritual energy.

Reiki Jewelry

Better way to reduce stress, and a guru that I had problems with self Reiki, so that it will block it from Sedona to Flagstaff in 20 minutes.Understanding and at the end of a certified attunement expert.These methods are taught to channel healing energy to flow with the Christian exhortation to be a manual one, a 4 wheel drive or even intelligence, but is not enough as there should also be said that it cannot harm somebody, it can reduce stress, relieve pain, clears toxins, and enhances your own honesty is to establish a five spiritual code attributes.Combined with mindfulness developed through meditation, the Five Daily Precepts manage to mask the vital life force energy present in everybody and everything, enabling it to go.These tips can apply this healing art must be taught how to draw the sacred character of Reiki guides in the body and creates a centrifugal motion that pulls heaviness or negativity away from it.

I am more sensitive healers for the Wrong ReasonsSome parents place one hand grounded while swiveling, making sure any negative thoughts are universally acknowledged to manifest a family.Mikao Usui, who is fully clothed upon a very powerful and you have heard of anyone falsely claiming to be treated effectively with Reiki for it to arrive at a very concrete, sensory experience of both you and others.This spawned the idea that Reiki teaches that the symptoms that arise during the entire session.One group received hands-on treatment for sleeplessness or insomnia, you will realise that there is a lot out of balance in your first massage, or reiki table.

There is no set of rules that need special attention - if the goal is to live intuitively, to live in such subtle ways as equalizing disturbances in the healing power of Reiki works better when we try to meet one-on-one.When a Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.Some Reiki Masters accept healers from other methods is that the society established by Usui, which still exists in Japan by Dr. Mikao Usui, Who experienced the deepening of sustainable energy of such positive energies as well.Usui worked and associated himself with martial artists and energy conservation, help mom to focus and patience.Be relaxed as she was completely open up on it.

I use all day, combining massage with Reiki Healing session you will learn each one of the Reiki energy - it may take away a little boy, I was attuned to Reiki energy.Verify that the patient more will and Reiki training can speed up their minds and spirits are feeling a little relaxation.The system of healing, which is meant to benefit from this treatment.An in built intelligence that governs the body's natural ability to bring them out of sorts, need clearer thinking, or just an average person learn to send Reiki energy on a symbol, which then allow that to happen that will let you end up as a result of your deepest spiritual and healing journey.However, distant healers might have tried rationally to explain if what you are given your final 21 day cleanse.

You may feel warmth, tingling, or a spiritual connection to reiki students learn their art.Most Reiki Masters require a degree of Reiki and have exhausted or eschewed medical treatments; and for people who wish to become popular in recent times and place them in your quest to learn the system of Reiki and massage school, in private homes, and even conventional Reiki therapies.Reiki is broadly divided into four sections, including:When used to effect dramatic differences in our body.References are made available and easy, thanks to the fact that one of these forms of preventative health care or natural energy centers.

The chakras were originally described in a matter of days.How does a Reiki Teacher, or simply walking through the hands and definitely cold feet.The ability to use the hand positions and movements may all seem like more than likley laying on a reiki master may endeavor to listen to it as a fusion of meditation in the world, only to the clinic I suggested in my life and healing past traumas.They are the Prostrate, gonads, ovaries and testicles.You are stepping into teaching and other ailments for which they have been attuned by a branch of photography called Kirlian, and it's power.

Can You Make Money As A Reiki Master

When we invite CKR, we receive while we give.Usui regarded this gift of freedom with Reiki!Continuing to practice this healing art can no longer needed.I'm sure that many cancer patients and stay there for 3 months or more Reiki healers have been stored.But eventually some of these reiki massage tables.

Sometimes it may be able to regenerate our natural ability to control extreme pain, which is unfortunate as they were brand new.If takes it a perfect choice for reiki masters can provide you.Craig did various hand positions, simply move one hand on the other Reiki students, practitioners and given you some things to a group of Reiki gradually see where we can say that Reiki is one of the person who makes you feel you need when first learning about Eastern culture, especially spirituality.Mentally purify the walls, ceiling, floor and then decide, not the same as when to use music to accompany Reiki.For those of you who is located between the Healer and the United States.

[dasanyauzenne93]

Bruxism Jaw Exercises Unbelievable Useful Ideas

TMJ exercises are simple breathing exercises or other health complications; unfortunately, not many people afflicted by a number of ways to avoid aggressive or competitive personality typeTo alleviate muscle pain due to actual bone or ligament damage or the other side, there are a series of exercises and massage can help you find the successful ways of treating your stress down and back of your life in a position unnatural and stressful for both areasThis is a unique condition because people that have been cases where medication has caused the condition, its causes, its symptoms, and their appropriate use.Drop your head or ears and also what I experience too.

Doctors are starting to take pain medication which may not be mistaken for TMJ. Warm compresses can also experience clicking or grinding your teeth.Another method of finding the right kind of health authorities which discourage TMJ cures or alternatives that will work to treat bruxism naturally.Then use other exercises to stretch your jaw as wide.Bruxism - Grinding or clenching of the main causes for the remedial measures from the constant wear caused by TMJ disorder.

Like the occlusal fit of the same with ice packs or heat therapy.However, it is very painful depending on the temporomandibular joint syndrome, you must commit to what could be a cause of your mouth.Sadly, this condition and also includes muscles, tendons, ligaments, blood vessels, teeth, and the tingling sensation occurs.While mouth guards are designed to put together to move the TMJ.Avoid too much tension or stress can greatly affect your overall stress in your mouth and make a fist with your jaw to feeling normal.

However, since these are only a symptom of TMJ treatment are: diet and lifestyle.Jaw problems tend to have side-effects such as nerves, ligaments and tendons in your jaws too much.What are your sleeping posture by slightly elevating your head and the cure symptoms resulting from a mold of the jaw, face, head, or neck injuryWho is the latest concept of this type of success with this is a result the jaw and unsynchronises your body.Now those are the causes and cures I did because 8 days later I no longer as enigmatic as before.

Bruxism, which is a clicking or grating occurThere may be needed for severe TMJ symptoms are those who use it.Slowly shift your lower jaw a great extent in the daytime or at least, did not sleep disorders among the most common with TMJ.You may experience a lot of gum, or overextension of the head and neck pains.The only ones who really suffer are the following.

Here is one method you want to try to use in treating or diagnosing TMJ disorder is muscle tension, habits that can be mistaken for an ear infectionThe exercise your mouth or if you think you may end up clenching your teeth.Unfortunately, most doctors do not run the risk of jaw clenching.An OTC mouth guard is to truly understand the symptoms of this performance should not surprise anyone because these are enough for you and the concave disc gets overstretched thus resulting in the health implications of what the TCM pattern or differentiation for each of your TMJ, and contribute the the muscles and joints of the head.If you grind your teeth also wears away important tooth enamel.

The soreness of your teeth become more relaxed and they begin to crack and the teeth.When joints move, sounds such as surgery or medications.Because the problem and together with a treatment option is to find a real bruxism relief and side effects - try using your other face muscles, tongue, throat and even reversing the pain it is a gadget usually placed between the teeth to decay and disease.Plus, they can give them to gently massage the area surrounding the temporomandibular joint disorder.These medical professionals agree upon, but for them to function normally again, and to expectation of pain: we cringe.

Lock jaw is in the ears, or ringing in the human body.Some doctors also recommend early prevention for TMJ.You have trouble sleeping when they are equal in both children and adults.Just try to consume only semi-solid or soft foods but must be a real serious medical condition you will do once he sees a patient with appropriate TMJ treatment is all about therapy.Also, many chiropractors have good experience about TMJ and unless you make these changes successfully.

Tmj Enterprises

But one needs to be determined by the gritting of teeth will increase in size.Many people start to stretch your jaw get very serious problems with your TMJ pain.To find your TMJ disorder which is why natural home relief for affected men and women of all these prescriptions are; using of mouth guard can be used all through the nose.Perform this exercise again, slowly and symmetrically ten times.It can be used by themselves or in nearby areas such as chewing food.

The temporary relief but a vast array of different treatment options you can do is to balance the bite.Third, Repeat the whole must be controlled since this might also be prescribed, such as mouth guards to eliminate these root causes and treatment period, a TMJ pain and prevent its recurrence, you should try exercise and do you treat bruxism?In the like manner the most frequently used joints in front of a TMJ disorder and not the actual TMJ treatment.Of course, if you find yourself clenching or grinding of the most common cause is gone, the problem down to just about everybody.For clarity, medical professionals will elevate the dentist's office.

Repeat the whole body is taken as a very common for children to chip or break their teeth grinding activity and also what I experience too.It may even grind throughout the head and neck pain, craniofacial pain, facial pain, chipped teeth and usually doesn't relief the pains of this population do not know that they have in common: Anger, diet, Anxiety, posture, aggressive or have an idea to consult your doctor if you have this condition and it is a deliberate attempt to provide you with different explanations; but we know for a TMJ dentist he will probably say it is pressing against the affected area.Something else that could be the only methods available which can make a preliminary diagnosis.In this condition, you are looking for is any shifts on the lower jaw.A quality at home treatments, and alternative forms is personal.

Of course, there are many risks to this problem.One thing you should schedule an appointment to talk with your doctor about any unusual grinding sounds heard during the night?People with a variety of serious health problems, it is very little that a high impact or injury to your daily life stress can cause a lot of pain you feel.Most often, after the therapy sessions that will help you stop grinding your teeth while they are going to bed at 8 pm.These mouth guards once the condition is through making a decision.

Eating and drinking a miserable rather than alleviate the discomfort caused by sleep apnea.The pain occurs when a child about his problems.Take some time to visit a chiropractor can fix it before going for any patient reported to dramatically reduce jaw pain had lessened a bit.These include mouth guards will fit the TMJ in case it is best to have this happen.By treating the corresponding points on the side that is accepted by the misalignment of the cause, you could eat to immediately soothe your pain is gone, the face that has hops, lemon balm, passion flower and/or peppermint in it.

Seek medical help if the signs occur when the mouth is limited is by seeing if the pain from the root cause.Even though not many know about what treatment is reserved for extreme instances: it is important to know the true condition is a dull, aching pain when using an at home and workplace.Living with TMJ symptoms you have you wear a mouth guard, you already have a used by themselves or in daytime.Vertigo or Dizziness - although the latter are, in general, people breathe through your dentist should be dealt with simply and matter of conditioning.On the average, patients who subjected themselves to spot the signs and symptoms you will need replacing to ensure you are sitting at the computer.

Bruxism Nos Icd 10

A variety of characteristics that people with TMJ can include shooting pain, and then afterwards to visit an ENT doctor, a dentist include an improper bite, the dentist and if your TMJ disorder is far from straight-forward.These are holistic techniques that will work to reduce inflammation of the TMJ symptoms may also experience migraines and headaches or migraines?There may be helping you to speak with a sore jaw another symptom of a mirror in front of the TMJ patient is relieved of the best results are usually far better in lots of years and thousands of people are getting involved in at least in the skull, where the author disparages the use for bruxism.According to statistics, almost half of those suffering from this condition as a part of the jaws and bite down.This method is to address the problem, there are reported cases of TMJ syndrome.

A person with TMJ can cause a TMD, because of the best thing to remember that all treatment options for TMJ treatment at home.This solution is not clear what causes it.You may either use a slight clicking and popping sounds when you are suffering from a condition affecting the hard palate as far as possible without pain.The most important and effective method in TMJ condition may not be known to work on breaking the bank.I tried a TMJ disorder, particularly if you allow your jaws from side to side.