#the seemingly happy ones have accepted their lot in life and try to make the best of it

[aecholapis]

Just wanted to hop in your inbox and say your OCs have some of the best, most varied backstories I’ve seen so far in the fandom. I’m never not entertained by them.

Oh wow, thank you! That's a huge compliment coming from one of the fandom's renowned lore masters!

They're just little guys living their lives and making mistakes. Usually, their backstories are a combination of "what do I want them to experience", "let's put them into Situations™" and "what is most the most likely outcome in this situation" and later on, I think about all the details that could make them appear more real, more believable. That is enough for me to build characters that feel like they belong into their own little universe.

I'm glad to hear that you like them!

[malleleothreesome]

Malleus who is pining after you...

🩷 summary: Cohesive blurbs about things Malleus would do and what he would be like if he were pining after you. ༶༶༶ 🩷 warnings: gender neutral reader, unedited, pretty much just a stream of my thoughts, lots of romance, fluff, pining, and there is a single smut paragraph with masturbation as he reads a romance novel in the library ༶༶༶ 🩷 word count: 3.1k because he's the love of my life

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… confused, and left with no other option but to approach (a proud, hysterically laughing) Lilia, begging for an explanation as to why he feels so weak in your presence. Pouting as he awkwardly opens up to the old bat about how when he’s with you, his heart races and he stumbles over his words, even though he’s used to being so sure of himself. He trained diligently to be calm and collected as a future King should be, so why is it that a magicless human is able to bring him to his knees seemingly without even trying? How come none of his previous favorite activities feel as good as daydreaming about you or spending time with you?

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… now feeling more assured after his conversation with Lilia. Coming to terms with the fact that even someone like him can feel love, and it happened sooner than he ever anticipated. Still nervous and unsure of his feelings, but no longer afraid. He feels grateful that he could be gifted with such potent and beautiful emotions for the first time in his life, and he’s especially happy that he fell in love with someone as amazing as you. Now that he’s in love, he wouldn’t trade this feeling for the world.

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… mind in a constant state of disarray after being swept up in your hurricane. Battling against himself ceaselessly to stay focused on the task at hand as his thoughts desperately crawl their way back to you in spite of his better judgment. No matter what he’s doing, he can’t help but fantasize about what it would be like if you were there with him. As his pen taps against the paper on his table, his breathing quickens, unable to stop himself from wondering what it would be like to look over at you studying right alongside him, instantly enchanting the monotonous task with your bright presence. If he’s in a store, he always spends extra time looking around for objects you might like, smiling to himself as he imagines your reaction. If he’s in a conversation, he thinks about how you might interject, and how the conversation would be better thanks to your input. When he’s happy, he wants you to be the first one to know, hoping he could share in his excitement alongside you.

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… coming to terms with the highs and lows of loving someone who doesn’t know you love them. Pacing around his room, celebrating and replaying all the moments he made you smile. Hyping himself up whenever you ask him to spend time alone. He also chastises himself whenever you two share an awkward moment, or if he makes a joke that doesn’t land, letting the moment haunt him. Wishing he had done things differently, reassessing the situation and himself so that he could grow into someone worthy of you. The most dreadful moments are times he sees you having fun without him, getting dragged along by your other friends. Jealousy and despair rage through his veins as he works to convince himself not to feel angry toward you, reassuring himself that you don’t know any better – it was an honest mistake. You simply don’t realize how much it means to him to be in your presence, because he’s too afraid to let you know. He’s too afraid to gamble your love, only wanting to confess when he’s sure you have the highest chance of accepting him. He’s not willing to go back to a life without the love he feels for you. Tears well up in his eyes as he retires early to his bed, desperately wishing you would hold him in your arms and take the pain away. Longing to hear that you love him, too – that he doesn’t have to feel this way anymore. Closing his eyes and letting the tears fall like silent prayers, hoping with every fiber of his being that you won’t curse him to a lifetime without your precious affection. 

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… randomly showing up at Ramshackle dorm. He’ll use any excuse in the book to show up unexpectedly, at the very least, hoping to see your face, but also betting on the fact that you’ll invite him in. He’ll ask to borrow items a fae wouldn’t need. He’ll steal things from your backpack just so he can return them. He hopes he can catch you alone, so that maybe he can get closer to you, or at least learn something new. There are also times where doesn’t want to bother you, but feels too weak-willed to deny his overwhelming desire to bask in your presence. He stands outside, taking solace in being close to you, even if you don’t realize it. Letting a comfortable sense of calm come over him as he stands outside under the moonlight, feeling the breeze through his hair, content to know that you’re upstairs sleeping peacefully in your room. Taking care to protect your building just like a gargoyle would. He’s convinced himself that Diasomnia is simply too far away from where you are, and what if something happened to his beloved child of man and he wasn’t there to protect you? Such a thing would torment him as long as he lived. So, he stands guard outside your room, just in case you need anything. He can at least do that much. He feels honored to be your protector, even though you’re completely unaware.

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… sitting beside you on a bench outside. His whole being overcome with butterflies, heart pounding out of his chest, feeling lightheaded as your hand slaps his thigh – your head thrown back in laughter from what he just said. He’s completely captivated as your melodic laugh reverberates through his soul. Unable to stop glancing at the way your thigh presses against his, feeling the electricity as your shoulders brush. Trying to memorize the way you look and sound in this very moment. He feels the air leave his lungs as your eyes meet his. Feeling like time has stopped as he stares into your eyes, trying to commit their beauty to memory. He feels his cheeks flush as he quickly turns away, not wanting you to see how flustered he is. You grab his shoulder, laughing, pulling him back toward you as you ask him to tell another story. He grins, trying to remember what it was like to breathe normally, and he obliges your request. A moment has never felt so magical, and he swears he'll remember the feeling until his last breath.

🩷 Malleus who is pining after you… spending hours in the library after class reading romance novels as a form of research for how he can make the best possible impression on you. He originally read these books out of necessity, desperately trying to avoid going to Lilia for more intimate advice. However, he finds far more enjoyment in the books than he anticipated, getting giddy over the words on the page as he imagines the story unfolding with the two of you as the protagonists. His eyes widen and his body temperature flushes hot when the tale takes an explicit turn, finding it harder and harder to keep his composure as he reads further. Feeling his throat go dry at the thought of doing such things with you, he tries to calm himself down, fanning his face with the book. He imagines the way your lips would taste and the softness of your skin, how you might sound moaning his name, how it would feel to be inside of you. He can hardly stand the tension as he reaches down and palms his lonely cock through his pants, letting a desperate moan escape from his lips as he struggles to hold himself back. He quickly looks around to make sure no one is there, then returns his attention to the book. He almost feels guilty for imagining his innocent beloved in such a naughty way. He wants nothing more than to be respectful to you, so it seems wrong to undress you and pleasure you in his mind, yet his needy, aching cock convinces him otherwise. He closes his eyes and continues to massage himself through his clothes as he lets the scene unfold in his mind. He imagines how you would look beneath him, panting and writhing in pleasure as he thrusts into you. He wonders if you would like it if he were to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer as you ride him, or if you would prefer if he were to pin your arms above your head while he fucked you into the mattress. His breathing quickens as his fantasy intensifies, feeling his body tighten up as he nears his climax. The pleasure is so intense, he feels unable to stop himself from going over the edge despite the uncomfortable circumstances. He lets out a quiet groan as his hips involuntarily thrust into his hand, feeling himself release into his pants. As he comes back to reality, his face burns red in embarrassment at the fact that he just did that in the library, but also with the realization that he wants to do all of that and more with you.

🩷 Malleus who is pining over you… sitting down with Sebek’s parents to interview them about their human/fae relationship. He wants to feel completely prepared and educated about all the pros and cons. He desperately wants to have the best chance of winning your affection. He asks them what it was like when they first met, how they handled the differences in their species, and how they confessed their love. He wants to know everything. He listens intently to every word, taking detailed notes and asking questions when he doesn’t understand. He asks about the most challenging parts of their relationship, and how they overcame them. He asks how they knew their love was true, and how they know it still is. He wants to feel as confident as possible that he can make this relationship work, because he knows it will be his last. If he loses you, he would never be able to love another, so he needs to take all the steps possible to ensure a life by your side. He desperately wishes his own parents could have been alive to walk him through it, but in their absence, he is grateful to have the first couple of their kind as a support network. He thanks them profusely, even going as far as to hug them and offer gifts, insisting on returning their time and effort tenfold for the advice and kindness they gave him. Sebek's doting mother cries a little, telling him that he has grown into a fine young man, and that he deserves to find happiness. The fae Prince flushes in embarrassment, offering her a heartfelt thanks and bowing his head respectfully. As Sebek's parents see him out, they tell him that if he ever needs anything, they're there for him, and to not hesitate to contact them if he has any questions. They can't help but smile to themselves as they watch the normally confident Malleus walk away, his shoulders and head drooped down in nervousness as he contemplates his future. They hope that you and him will find eternal bliss in each other's embrace.

🩷 Malleus who is pining over you… walking around Briar Valley, getting to know his future subjects. He wants to know how his fae subjects feel about the presence of humans, how they might feel if there were to be a human ruler alongside him, and if they would be willing to accept a human/fae child as their next heir. He will do what it takes to prepare his subjects for the new age, trying to get ahead of any problems before they arise. He is especially curious about the older generations, and what they might think of him as a leader. He doesn't want to repeat the mistakes of the past, and he wants to honor his parents' legacy by creating a safe, secure future for their kind. He wants to bring about a world where humans and fae can coexist, where children of both species can grow up with mutual respect. He goes out of his way to form relationships with the humans who reside in Briar Valley, diligently learning how best he can serve them as the future King. His purpose is to make his kingdom a safe haven for humans to live in hopeful anticipation that you'll one day soon choose to live there with him. He listens to his human subjects' concerns, offering advice on their difficulties, and promising to enact new legislation that would benefit them. He makes it abundantly clear that he values the human residents of his kingdom and is committed to ensuring that their lives are better than they were before. He tells them that their children will not only be able to live in harmony with the fae, but that they will thrive. He wants to give them a world that you would be proud to call home. He is eager to show you that he can be a great King, and that he is worthy of your love and affection. He feels a sense of pride when he sees the humans' faces light up as he shares his plans for the Kingdom once he takes the crown.

🩷 Malleus who is pining over you… appearing before his grandmother Maleficia’s throne, secure and ready to finally confess to you. Unwilling to let anything else stand in his way, he begins telling her – not asking her – with the utmost respect and authority, leaving no room for discussion that he has fallen hopelessly in love with a human. He needs her to trust him – her only grandson – as he gives his heart and devotion to a member of the very species that took everything from her. His hands are shaking yet his eyes never falter, his determination to love you against all odds burning bright in his heart. He has made up his mind and he won't be taking any objections. He tells her about you, your kindness, your charisma, and your integrity. He wants her to know how lucky he is that a pure-hearted being like you would have chosen someone like him to befriend, to place your faith and trust in. He eagerly explains all the ways you've changed him for the better, and how he wants to devote his life to protecting you, and growing by your side. There has never been another that can light up the night sky with the same level of brightness as your beautiful smile, or whose laugh could fill the vast empty space between the stars. He tells her he wants to give you the best life he can possibly provide, and he hopes she will come to accept and love you just as he has. She sits in shock, unable to respond. The anger she feels is indescribable, as she can't believe her grandson, her own flesh and blood, could betray her and his mother like this. She thought she raised him better than this – to be stronger than the temptation of a human. And now, he stands before her, looking her dead in the eye and telling her he wants to be with one of them. She can't bear the thought of losing him, yet she knows it's inevitable if she were to deny him his wish. The look in his eyes is something she has never seen in him before – pure conviction. She can’t control him any more. His love for you has given him a strength she never knew he had. As much as she hates to admit it, he is happier than she's ever seen him. The confidence in his voice, the glimmer in his eye, the determination in his step – it reminds her of her daughter. Malleus always bore a striking resemblance to his mother, but he has never looked more like her than he does right now, defying Maleficia's wishes in pursuit of happiness. She knows she can't change his mind, so she sighs and waves her hand dismissively, telling him he can do as he pleases. The anger in her veins dissipates as Malleus begins to walk out of the throne room, and she feels compelled to tell him how proud his mother would be, despite it all. She tells him that his mother hated humans, but she loved him more. Malleus can't help the tears that escape his eyes, thanking his grandmother for her blessing, feeling accomplished and complete. Now all that's left is to tell you.

🩷 Malleus who is pining over you… breathes new life into the cold castle, ready to fill the halls back up with love for the first time in centuries. Gazing up at the blank castle walls, smiling to himself as he imagines them adorned with picture frames of the two of you on your wedding day, or of you holding your child together for the first time, or even just simple, happy memories like picnics or holidays. He feels warmth in his chest as he pictures the two of you standing by the window, admiring the sunset and reminiscing on all the years you've spent together. For the first time in his life, he comes to see the castle not as a prison, but as a home. A place where the two of you will live out the rest of your days, raising children, and creating beautiful memories that will be cherished forever. Every room he passes elicits a lovely new vision. He steps into the study, one of his favorite places as a child, running his fingers along the ancient bookshelves, excited at the prospect of rereading old favorites with your head nestled under his arm, the two of you snuggled up on the cozy couch. He peeks his head into the ballroom and music begins playing in his head as he imagines holding you close, feet gliding as you two spin around the room, the candles surrounding the area casting a perfect glow on your blissful smiles, as you lose yourself in each other's eyes. In the dining room, he envisions the two of you sitting across from each other at the grand dining table, flashing flirty eyes in each other's directions, stealing the last bite from each other's forks with kisses and laughs. As he wanders aimlessly through the long, winding hallways, the past merges with his vision of the future, and the two mix perfectly. It's difficult to feel alone anymore. It's no longer the chilled, looming emptiness that Malleus knew before. Now, it's a sacred, protected place that is waiting for your life, and love, to be poured into the rooms until it's finally brimming with the warmth and laughter of family again. All you have to do is say yes.

Oop, I just spent the past 8 hours straight working on this start to finish. Idk if I'm proud of it. I am exhausted. Usually I write complete stories, but I wanted to try my hand at writing my thoughts in a more raw format. If my editor were here, she would never allow me to write paragraphs this long, but I don't feel like waiting for her to edit. It's 2 am and I just want to free myself and release this into the world. Hopefully I don't regret this in the morning. Sorry for any grammar mistakes or weirdly long sentences. If you enjoyed, first of all, thank you! Second of all, if you want more content like this, please let me know! Currently, I only write for Malleus, Leona, & Fellow but feel free to come convince me in my ask box to get invested in other characters. I’d love to hear your thoughts about your faves or my faves. 🩷 Erica Malleleothreesome

[wileys-russo]

Alessia Russo “if Kim asks Kyra did it. Training.

recovery roomII a.russo

"well well if it isn't our little hat trick hero!" you looked up from your phone with a grin, steph getting out of her own car as you pushed up off of the side of yours.

"if it isn't the mighty captain catley! where's your child?" you teased, kyra not having left stephs side basically the entire camp. "oh god i have had the most blissful two days kid, you don't even understand!" steph moaned happily, dean having whisked her away to a spa to help with the jetlag.

"you picked a good one steffy." you smiled, always happy to see how well dean treated her and had treated her for the many years they'd been together.

"your turn next! when are we going out to test my wings?" steph asked with an excited glint in her eyes as the two of you started to wander across the parking lot waving to a few of the girls doing the same.

"oh my god stop that stephanie please." you laughed, face burning bright red at the way the older girl was flapping her arms around like she was a bird. "what? i'm being a wingwoman." steph grinned as you shoved her and the two of you fell into step again.

as far as your teammates both for club and country were concerned, you were in their eyes painfully single.

they went out of their way on team nights out to try and take turns pointing out people from all walks of life they felt would be a good fit for you, or stealing your phone to argue over whose turn it was to swipe away on your dating apps.

and up until a couple of months ago, you appreciated their efforts. as much as what most of the girls perception of your 'type' was, was horrifically wrong.

but that all changed when a certain blonde striker came barreling into your life, knocking the air from your lungs and kicking the cobwebs off your heart, filling you with emotions and feelings that up until then you'd assumed were permanently retired.

but neither you or alessia were oficially 'out' and hadn't ever had any sort of public relationship your entire careers, so with a plaguing fear in the back of both your minds that allowing the public eye into your little bubble would pop it entirely, you'd kept things very much to yourselves.

you'd both made an agreement before international break that you were feeling near ready to tell your family and closest friends at the very least, neither one of you feeling any sort of pressure from the other which was a welcome relief.

but not having seen your girlfriend for going on two weeks now, with you away on camp with the matildas and alessia with the lionesses, you were in an extra chirpy mood.

which is how you found your jaw near aching with how hard you'd been smiling all morning, relishing in catching up with all of your teammates and friends.

but eyes flickering to the doors of the cafeteria every few seconds awaiting your favorites blonde entrance you couldn't contain the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach in anticipation.

"oi! spade cadet, you still with us?" you were snapped back to reality as leah clicked her fingers in your face, humming and trying to tune into their conversation. "sorry, had some weird dreams, slept funny." you were quick to speak, excuse seemingly accepted as no one else prodded you for anything further.

then finally you heard her before you saw her, her boisterously melodic laugh echoing around the cafeteria as she walked in with vic and emily, shoving the shorter dutch girl beside her who hurried away to jump on teyah.

her eyes roamed the room before they locked with yours, sending you a dazzling white smile and a wink before she grabbed a tray and loaded up with breakfast, making a beeline for the spare seat at your table as the girls all greeted her happily.

"hi lessi." you smiled softly, swooning as she repeated the greeting back in the sweet accent you'd grown to adore, her foot brushing up against your calf beneath the table as she pushed you her juice and your eyes lit up, her own heart melting at the sight.

"steph!" you protested as before you could grab the small bottle it was snatched from your path, the older girl cracking it open and downing a large mouthful, pushing you away with her free hand as you reached for it.

"i had to poison check it! i'm just looking out for ya." your national captain grinned finally handing you back the now half empty bottle as you scowled and she only pinched your cheek in response.

"kyra's been a bad influence on you." you huffed with a roll of your eyes, her shoulder bumping into yours before she returned to her conversation with beth.

you looked up as someone gently kicked you, a smile curling onto your face as you and alessia played footsies under the table, careful not to stare too adoringly at one another and engage with your teammates around you.

catching your gaze you saw the blonde subtly nod behind her as she stood, grabbing both her tray and yours as well as leah and beths, a chorus of thank you's sung her way as she made her way out of the cafeteria.

you waited a few minutes before doing the same, lying to steph that you left something in your car and wanted to hurry to grab it before training when she stood to go with you, assuming you were heading to the media room for the mornings debrief.

caught up saying hello to a few more of the girls on your way you eventually made it out and carefully ensuring you weren't being followed or watched ducked away to your usual meeting place with your english striker.

you'd barely stepped into the recovery room before her hands were on you, a laugh leaving your mouth as the door banged shut and she had the audacity to shush you, wolfish grin on her features as she pressed you against the tiled wall.

"me? you made me slam it!" you whisper yelled at her, both of you pulling the other into a tight hug, melting into one anothers touch with content sighs.

"i missed you." alessia mumbled out, peppering a few kisses to your neck before pulling her head back. "we facetimed nearly every night!" you teased, arms wrapping around her neck as the taller girl smiled lovingly down at you.

"no thats where you say 'baby i missed you more'. then we argue for awhile over who really missed the other more, and then i just shut you up with a kiss." alessia beamed as you shook your head, fingers scratching at the base of her neck, fiddling with a few loose baby hairs which had fallen out of the bun at the back of her head.

"can we just skip to that part then?" you teased, puckering your lips and pulling her closer as her body vibrated in amusement but she wasted no time arguing, quickly pressing her mouth against yours.

you exhaled happily at the sensation of kissing her, forever consumed with the euphoric feeling which warmed your body from the tips of your toes right to the end of your nose, your whole body alight.

"babe we have the meeting!" you reminded with a laugh, the words mumbled against her lips as alessia pressed you more firmly into the wall, hands squeezing your hips and using the moment to slip her tongue into your mouth.

"less." you warned, pulling back with a slight gasp as she held your bottom lip captive between her teeth, sucking it back into her mouth as her right hand moved to cup the back of your head so she had a little more control over you continuing to pull away.

right as her feet kicked your own apart, her thigh slotting in between yours and your breath hitched, a few more gentle but sloppy kisses trailed down your collarbone, the door suddenly flew open.

both of you breaking apart alessia wasted no time taking your hand and yanking you around the corner, both of you ducking out of view as your hands covered one anothers mouths and you heard a few members of staff discussing the plans for today, clearly grabbing some extra yoga mats before they departed, both of you exhaling in relief.

"that was way too close. you have no self control russo!" you smacked her chest, the grin still sitting happily on her face as both of your cheeks were flushed red with heat and your eyes rolled.

"we've still got seven minutes to the meeting and it only takes two and a half to walk there from here?" your girlfriend wiggled her eyebrows making you laugh as she pulled you gently into a much softer kiss, hands falling either side of your face as you sighed happily into her mouth.

"okay! we can continue this tonight." you pulled away and poked her, tugging her hands off and pushing for her to start walking. only you really should have taken into consideration that it was alessia you were dealing with, the girl born with two left feet both ten sizes too big for her body apparently.

so though it was a hardly a rough push, it was enough for your girlfriend to consequently trip over her own feet and go sailing toward the ground, reaching out for a shelf to try and steady herself but instead she only succeeded in pulling that down with her.

you stifled your laugh as she shielded her face and the viles of various essential oils and creams they used for massages came sailing down on top of her, somehow not breaking as finally the noise stopped and you both held your breath for a moment that no one would walk in.

when you heard no footsteps you doubled over laughing, the striker sitting up blushing in embarrassment and smacking your ankle, mumbling that it wasn't funny as she stood to her feet with a huff.

"come on clumsy." you shook your head in amusement, grabbing her hand and guiding her toward the door as she pouted clearly feeling very sorry for herself.

only right as you went to exit you both jumped a foot in the air as another one of the shelves came down, apparently attached to the other and this time the various containers which fell did break with an almighty crash and smash.

you and alessia shared a wide eyed glance and booked it out of the room, your girlfriend pulling you again around a corner and stealing a kiss as you both laughing into one anothers mouths to try and stifle the noise to no luck."

"if kim asks, kyra did it."

[the-last-thread-of-my-sanity]

I’ve been thinking lately about how much the ‘curse of Ymir’ really does affect the psyche of each of the nine shifters and how it impacts the ending of the story.

Up until the end of Season 3/Chapter 87-88, the reader and the viewer have no idea that the shifters have a limited amount of time to live. They seem to possess this god-like power and they can rejuvenate and survive almost any injury. They seem unstoppable.

This is what motivates Erwin to create a plan to take one of the nine shifter powers with the serum- having another Titan in your arsenal would make a difference in winning the war.

But what the Paradisians don’t know is how holding the power of the Nine just perpetuates a cycle of violence and cruelty. It’s a curse as much as it is a power. No matter how brilliant or grand your scope is for what you can do with this near limitless power, you have to contend with the fact that you will only have thirteen years to do it.

This revelation to me is the what colors the entire last arc of the story leading into and after the time skip.

For Zeke, it amps up the level of desperation he has for accomplishing the euthanization plan- relying on Eren was still a variable that was largely unpredictable, and he trusted him more than he probably would have if he weren’t running out of time.

Going back further in the story, it retroactively explains why Ymir (of the cadet corps) would go back with Reiner and Bertholdt at all- a seemingly nonsensical choice when it seems she has something to live for in her relationship with Krista/Historia. But Ymir knows she has little time left. She has no future. So she chooses to surrender.

For Annie, it shows her desperation to get back to her father, a man who showed her very little affection, and yet if she could just make it back maybe she could live at least a year or two with him and make at least one happy memory with the man who raised her to kill.

Armin, I honestly feel the most for, because what he and everyone else thought of as his salvation, was actually just saddling him with a curse. And heaps of responsibility to try and be grateful for it. He went from a character with a singular and wholesome conviction, to someone wracked with guilt and forced to solve the world’s problems with limited time and resources.

In Reiner’s case, I actually think the fact that he knows he is going to die is the only thing actually keeping him alive in the tail end of the story. He wants so badly to face retribution for his deeds, and he can only find the strength to keep towing the line because he knows his violent demise is guaranteed.

Characters like Pieck and Bertholdt seem to accept their lot in life- but deal with this internally and develop their own sense of morals despite it- albeit in different ways and in Pieck’s case with a shade of pessimism. Falco and Marcel stand out as a characters who see the farce for what it is- but still want to subject themselves to it in order to prevent someone they love from suffering through it in their place.

Eren, though, it’s easy to see how discovering he has already lived more of his life in powerless ignorance than what he has left is what ultimately causes the collapse in his character. Combine that with the way that he sees ‘future memories’ and doesn’t see any future beyond his own, and suddenly you have a naturally impulsive and violent person living in the most fatalistic reality ever. It makes perfect sense that his fall from grace is near immediate and precipitous.

What difference does all that power make if all it means is that you become a tool for destruction with no future? That you will be forced to curse someone else so that this cruel power will continue to exist? That is the true legacy of Ymir and the Eldian Empire- you can have near limitless power, but you will never have true control over your own life.

And it makes for such interesting discussions and questions about power and mortality and agency- and all the seemingly ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ ways to respond to their dilemma.

Anyway, it is always ‘thinking about the moral quandary of the titan shifters’ hours around here…

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

illicit affairs

the one where Joel calls (kind of)

Summary: A week after you're back home in Seattle you get a visitor.

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader

Wordcount: 1.649

Rating: T

Warnings: accidental pregnancy, angst, fluff, some heartbreak

A/N: Pick your own ending part one feat. Joel Miller

illicit affairs master list // Pedro Masterlist

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You tried to keep your expectations low. 

A week after you came back home to Seattle and many talks with your friends later you accepted that you couldn’t change the situation from here. 

Event though it was killing you inside.

Calling your mother and telling her everything on the phone was not what you wanted, even though it would be the easiest way because you wouldn’t be able to see how she reacted to the news. 

But you couldn’t talk to her before you had talked to Joel.

You could call Joel. 

You now had his number.

Your friend cyber stalked him and found the number of his company. 

You had made your peace with being a single mother before you even ran back into Joel. So while him, now that he knew, seemingly not wanting to be involved was hurtful, it wasn’t the worst. 

You had your friends. Your colleagues. And you had Sean. 

Sean had called you every single day, trying to keep you in the loop of life back in Austin. Though he hadn’t talked to your mother in two days. 

Today you had spent wearing your most comfortable sweater, eating nothing but Cheese (you would regret that later, but the craving was real) looking at new potential apartments in the area. You needed a bigger apartment, a room for your baby. 

On your next appointment you would learn the gender and you were beyond excited. 

You could do this by yourself. You would do this by yourself. 

Of course you had dreamed about having your own family growing up. You had dreamed about meeting your prince and getting married. Having babies and be happy forever. 

But you were five years old back then and seriously influenced by Disney movies. 

You had learned that Disney movies were not the real life by now, which frankly sucked. 

Absently you checked your phone, wondering where your order of cheese pizza you placed an hour ago was, when there was a knock on your door. 

„Finally,“ you cheered to yourself, grabbing the money for your pizza. You shuffled through your apartment in your cosy socks, one of your hands on your belly that had somehow popped in the last two days. 

You opened the door, expecting your pizza, but it was

„Joel,“ you gasped in surprise. 

Joel was sitting in your living room. 

He was here, in your apartment. 

You had fled to your kitchen, making him a coffee to gather your thoughts. You fired texts off to your best friend telling you that Joel was here and to your brother asking if he had any idea how Joel got here. 

But you couldn’t stay in the kitchen forever even if you wanted to. 

Taking a deep breath you put the mug of coffee on the carton of your pizza that had been delivered in the meantime, making you way back to the kitchen. 

The first thing you noticed was that he looked nervous. 

He had taken his shoes off, standing up when you came back into the room. His hair looked wild, like he had ran his hand though it for a lot of times. 

„Coffee black, right?“ You asked. 

He gulped. 

„Yeah. Yeah, that’s right,“ he nodded, carefully taking the mug. You sat down on the love seat across from the couch, opening the pizza. You missed the small smile gave you as you hummed in delight while inhaling the scent of the pizza.

„I would offer you some, but I didn’t expect any guests and I have been craving this the whole day,“ you say apologetic. 

„It’s okay. I’m not hungry anyway,“ he said before he sat back down. His legs were spread as he sat, his head resting on his hands, his elbows angled on his knees, his back hunched over as he looked at you. 

You took a deep breath. 

„Why are you here Joel?“ you finally asked, picking up a slice of pizza, biting into it. 

„I had a 6 am flight that Monday,“ he began and you stopped chewing. 

„I watched you sleep for at least twenty minutes, trying to decide what to do before I took the, what I thought back then, easy way out and left without saying a word,“ he confessed. 

You slowly nodded, breathing slowly. 

You would let him talk. You had been waiting a while for him to talk. 

„I don’t do shit like that. I don’t go out and fuck random women. Not that you are random. You are everything but random,“ he sighed. He set the mug of coffee down, rubbing his fingers over his forehead. 

„I knew I made a mistake as soon as I stepped out of the hotel. Which doesn’t excuse my behaviour and I want you to know that I am sorry for leaving without a word. So fucking sorry. I just… You are so much younger than me. And I got scared. I wanted to the right thing. Never thought I would catch feelings for you,“ he sighed, letting himself fall back against the couch. 

„Never thought you’d end up pregnant,“ he shook his head.

You set the slice of pizza you had just grabbed down, watching him. 

„I met your mother in the week after I came back home. I was working with her boss. And it just…. It’s not… Fuck I feel like such an asshole. I realise now that I used her to get over you. Which is not fair to either of you.“

You were pretty sure you stopped breathing. 

„You’re pregnant,“ he whispered. 

You nodded. 

„You’re pregnant and it’s mine,“ he whispered again. 

Your bottom lip trembled and you nodded again. 

He released a long sigh. 

„Okay,“ he said, his eyes on yours. 

„Okay?“ You asked. 

He nodded. 

„I want to be involved if you let me. We maybe wouldn’t be in this mess if I hadn’t made the decision to leave, so I have no… I have no fucking right to ask for anything. But you don’t have to do this alone,“ he said. 

„What,“ you cleared your throat, „What about my mom?“ You asked quietly. 

„I broke up with her,“ he said and you inhaled sharply. She must be heartbroken. You could see how much Joel meant to her. Tears sprang into your eyes and you pushed the pizza away from you, as tears begin to fall.

Joel’s hand reached out as if to touch you, before he stopped. He looked devastated. 

„I’m so sorry,“ you sobbed and he groaned confused. 

„She was so happy with you. And I ruined it. I ruined it,“ you shook your head, sobbing quietly. 

You jumped when you felt Joel’s hand taking yours, having missed him even gotten up from the couch and you looked at him as he knelt in front of you. 

„You didn’t ruin anything. I should have been honest from the beginning. To both of you. I am the reason this situation is so damn messy. It’s not your fault,“ he said. You took some moments to take deep breaths, calming yourself down. 

„Did you… Did you tell her? About us?“ You asked. 

„No. If you want her to know, we can do it together,“ he said and you released a shuddering breath. 

„If you want to be involved we have to tell her. I just don’t know…“ you shook your head. 

„We don’t have to figure that out right away,“ he said with a small smile.

„What about us?“ You asked. 

He shrugged. 

„What do you want?“ He asked softly. 

You knew the answer to his question. If was selfish of you. But you had wanted him from the first moment you met him you still wanted him. 

„I want you,“ you whispered and a small smile sneaked to his face as he looked at you. 

„Then we will make it work,“ he promised, kissing your hand. 

„She looks so much like Joel,“ you were smiling at your mother, as she held your new born daughter in her arms. 

„Yeah. She’s like his twin,“ you said fondly. She looked at you, eyes soft. Sean was sitting next to her grinning down at his niece. 

You had moved back to Austin. 

There had been a lot of talks, a lot of tears, a lot of heartbreak.

It hasn’t been easy, going for what you wanted, but in the end everything turned out okay. 

The conversation between you, Joel and your mother must have been the hardest thing you had ever done in your life, but she understood in the end. 

She had noticed how much you loved the father of your child before she even knew who he was. By the way you talked about him to her. And after taking some time to think about her feelings, after taking some time to heal, she was making her peace with it. 

She had told you some time ago that she wasn’t even really sure if she was in love with Joel or with the idea of being in love again.

But she definitely fell in love with Robert, her new husband to be. She already moved in with the man on his ranch just outside of Austin. And that after only two months of knowing each other. 

Not that you would ever judge her.

And Joel?

Joel had been with you whenever he could before you decided to move back to Austin. You had met his daughter and family. 

You were loved. 

You looked up when Joel walked back into the living room, his eyes meeting yours across the room, a smile sneaking to both of your faces. 

In the end, you got your Disney fairytale. 

Just…. Not in the right order. 

And without a ring on your finger. 

Not knowing that the missing ring, was already hidden in Joel’s work bench, waiting for the right moment to be put onto your finger.

[skrrts]

flowers & kisses (drabble)

✧ gn!reader x wooyoung ✧ genre: non idol, slice of life, fluff, dating ✧ word count: 852

Wooyoung & you relax together in a field of wildflowers

a/n: i'm practicing drabbles because writing under 1k words is always hard. anon suggested "wooyoung & flowers"

The flower field had a light, sweet fragrance that mixed with the fresh scent of grass, creating a calm and inviting atmosphere. The sun was kind today, no longer burning and forcing you to find shelter in the shadows of a tree. Instead, sitting in the middle of the field of flowers was something you always wanted to do but never quite found the confidence to do on your own. Your boyfriend easily changed that.

Wooyoung was busy picking some of the wildflowers, the bouquet in his hands kept growing and you couldn’t entirely hold back a chuckle every time he pouted a little when it would not stay in place the way he wanted it to.

“Here, try it with this,” you opened your bag and pulled out one of the hairbands you always carried with you ever since the two of you started dating.

When Wooyoung decided to grow out his hair, scenarios where he forgot to bring one but wanted to tie it up became frequent. A smile spread on his lips as he leaned in to accept it.

“That’s a perfect idea!”

You watched as he carefully tied it around the flower stems and looked at his piece of art, seemingly satisfied.

“Now, I am almost a little jealous that your mom gets such a pretty gift but at the same time, I’m quite proud that I have such a thoughtful boyfriend.”

The moment Wooyoung turned around to say something, you managed to capture the stunning view in a polaroid. It would be one of those snapshots where the surprise was painted beautifully against a background that seemed like a movie.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” he called out, placing the flower bouquet aside and grinning at you.

“I hope you know this means revenge, yes?” As he was moving closer, you were only playfully leaning back.

“Is that so?” Your voice tried to be challenging but you were just soft; he did that to you but there was no regret about it.

Wooyoung was by your side, his arms curled around your waist and he forced you to fall down onto the blanket together with him, causing you to laugh softly as he pulled you closer.

“Caught you! Now you are mine!” He did not hesitate to shower you with dozens of tiny kisses all over your cheeks, nose, and forehead.

Wooyoung always had been so expressive with his affection, not only with loved ones but also with friends. Maybe that was why it took you a little while to realize he liked you more than a friend but for that, dating felt so natural. You never had to wonder about his emotions, he’d always show them to you just like that.

“I do not want to disappoint you, but I already was yours, Woo,” you looked up at him and could see the affection in his eyes.

His hand wandered up to brush strands of hair out of your face: “That is true. Ah, everyone said that one should put lots of effort into asking the person of your dreams out but you said yes before I even finished my question. So impatient.”

“Makes two of us,” you teased and he laughed.

“True, good for me! That way, I can just drag you to our little adventures.”

There was a happy sigh escaping his lips as he nuzzled his pretty face into your hair, pressing a kiss on top of it.

“I am not sure if taking a break in the middle of a field of flowers counts as such but even if not, I am content. Please continue to carry me away.”

You looked up at him, now being the one to pout. It caused him to chuckle but eventually, Wooyoung leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was sweet and soft, you enjoyed it when the two of you spent time just like that: easy and simple. Nights were exciting enough.

“I love you, y/n. Thanks for coming with me here today.”

The way his hair fell over his face and his eyes were so attentive, the smile soft yet always seemingly waiting like he was afraid you would not return it.

His fear would forever be unfounded.

“I love you too, Wooyoung.”

You leaned in for another kiss and while you could feel him lean in, after just a moment, your boyfriend forced your lips apart.

“If we keep kissing, I can’t promise I will be able to stop doing so and then we probably won’t make it back to mom’s infamous citrus cake.”

Wooyoung pulled you up without letting go of you, placing you comfortably onto his lap and he reached out for the bouquet, handing it to you before taking the camera.

“Capture time! Show me your cutest face!”

You wanted to complain about how sudden it was, your hair a mess but Wooyoung already pressed his lips on your cheek and you chuckled as the moment was frozen in time in a polaroid.

A photo you gladly added to the walls of precious memories you shared with Wooyoung back in your room.

[valtsv]

I know that your specialty is making fucked up lil guys who get more fucked up (which is awesome!). I was wondering if you ever like to write “healing journeys” (that May or may not include murder), or if you exclusively like making OCs worse (which is a vibe!).

I used to only write characters only “getting better” as how society might define it, but I am starting to branch out into doomed narrative/getting fucked up/no way back narratives. Which is terrifying to me with my own traumas/fears. You’ve inspired me to explore those uncomfortable places and sit with those feelings. Question why am I having those reactions when no one else is going to see me, and it has no other consequences for my daily life?

So I’m interested what it’s like writing from the other side, so to speak.

Thanks for listening to my rambling! I hope that you have a lovely day! :]

i have plenty of ocs who "get better", actually; recovery and healing is a big part of a lot of my characters' stories despite how bleak and cruel they might seem based on my summaries. however my ocs rarely tend to "get better" in the conventional, socially acceptable sense, like the arcs you mentioned yours used to follow. with my ocs, i like to start from a point of seemingly insurmountable despair, a descent to rock bottom that's already fallen deeper than light can penetrate, and ask myself "how could a person like this ever begin to find meaning and joy in life again?" and work from there. it often gets worse before it gets better, but at their lowest, a lot of my characters finally find what matters to them, and begin to pursue it. they might not be "good victims"; they certainly aren't heroes, or 'good people', or perfectly satisfied with their lot in life and unscarred or unembittered by their experiences. but most of them do find direction, acceptance, love and happiness. sometimes growth and healing means getting to be selfish. getting to be self-indulgent. allowing yourself to live despite it all. my characters are frequently outcasts, trodden underdogs, scrabbling for purchase on the edges of life, but they try to build the best life that they can for themselves, out there in the dark. for some of them, it's the happiest, safest place they can be, unseen and unscrutinized every waking moment of their lives.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Nothing in the world belongs to me (but my love, mine, all mine)

This started off as a silly conversation I had with @yuzanrath on Discord and now it's a whole thing.

Part 2 might be a bit (a lot) nsfw

For now, there's angst.

Enjoy!

-------------------

From the day she learned that her son had locked Wei Wuxian out of his room after Jiang Fengmian had seemingly offered the new arrival more attention, Madam Yu decided Wei Wuxian was to move in to a room of his own. A favor, one might think, giving the orphan boy a place of his own in the Jiang family compound and, perhaps, even in the family itself.

However, that had been far from the truth. After all, Madam Yu had never shown true kindness to the young boy and it would have been too good of a dream to come true that she might have finally accepted him – or, heavens forbid, even grown affectionate of him – enough to care about his comfort. Rather, it was more of her way to slap her husband in the face, kicking out the son of his subordinate and rumored affair to a backroom somewhere he would not bother anybody, sharing a building with the rest of the servants as she believed he should.

And though Wei Wuxian was still little, barely above ten years old, he knew. He knew that Madam Yu did not want him around and thought lowly of him – not just because of her behavior, but because she told him to his face often how much of a burden he was. Uncle Jiang had taught him not to mind her, to let her words sweep him by as she was quick to anger and violence and did not mean what she said, but Wei Wuxian was still a child, a blank canvas for the adults in his life to leave their mark on.

And so, Madam Yu’s words and behavior did affect him, her obstinate refusal to even be polite with him stinging like salt on an open wound. He had often wondered what it was that he was missing, what he was doing wrong – and no matter how hard he studied, how diligently he trained, how much he tried to prove himself, she always found fault with him and belittled even the most valiant of his efforts.

So, to hear that she allowed him his own room filled Wei Wuxian with great hope, a budding thing, beautiful and fragile, that perhaps she had changed her mind about him – shattered as soon as he was led by the then Jiang head disciple (the replacement of his father, he sadly noted) into the servants’ quarters, up a short flight of stairs, into a small attic.

“You will temporarily live here.” The man had said, trying to make it sound less like the permanent place Wei Wuxian already knew he would occupy. “It’s not much, but you should have everything you need.”

And he did – there was a bed, a desk, a chair and a small wardrobe, as well as two small shelves. Granted, they looked rather old and worn, like they had been stored into the attic long before Wei Wuxian’s arrival. But he had never been one to complain about such things, infinitely grateful to even have a place to stay at all – so he bowed in thanks to the head disciple and began putting away the few things in the chest he had dragged from the room he shared with Jiang Cheng to his new one.

If there was anything good about that place though, it was the one window above the bed that allowed Wei Wuxian a breathtaking view of Lotus Lake and the markets of Yunmeng, flickering lights from stalls and fireflies mingling together like stars fallen off the night sky. He decided he was happy with that, overriding the dust and the smell of mildew of the attic with the beauty of the scenery outside.

Of course, there was much needed to be done to make Wei Wuxian’s makeshift room livable – the corners bore thick blankets of spider cobwebs and many spider eggs nestled into soft silk; a thick layer of dust enveloped the room, often making it difficult to breathe but far too easy to sneeze; and black dots covered spots in the ceiling like ink blots, black mold festering in the wood.

But what was worse than the spiders (and other critters that scurried around the floor away from candlelight and human presence), the dust and the mold was the dark hole in one of the room’s corners, a human-sized hole that the Jiang head disciple had explained away as necessary for building maintenance. It was covered by a makeshift lid when not in use, but Wei Wuxian knew it hadn’t been just his imagination when he felt like something lived in that space, like he was sharing the room with some kind of entity that others could not, for some reason, sense, despite being skilled cultivators.

The first night Wei Wuxian had to sleep in his new room, he could not stop feeling like he was being watched, like there was something unseen in the attic, peering at him through places not even candlelight could reach, observing him.

In the morning, the first thing he did after he had awoken from the fitful few hours of sleep he had managed to get, was to drag his two small shelves over the lid of that so-called maintenance hole, thinking, in his childish, fear-addled mind that whatever lived there would not be able to get out if the exit to its home was closed off.

Jiang Yanli helped him clean up secretly, doing away with the dust and the spider webs, and placing perfumed herbs around the room to scare off the insects dwelling there as well as freshen the air. She had one of her trusted servants wipe away at the stains on the ceiling and apply the same concoction used to ward off mold in the main family’s household, leaving the room much cleaner and homely than it had been before.

She promised that she would sew him a small curtain for his window and brought him a few of the decorative china figurines she had in her room, trying to make the lonely attic seem less like Wei Wuxian’s banishment house and more like his safe space.

It had worked, it seemed, because after all the work was finished and the day came to an end, Wei Wuxian slept peacefully, no longer feeling like something malevolent was trying to drive him away.

It still lived there, though, that much was obvious – but Wei Wuxian decided to let it be, as long as it was not hostile. After all, it had stayed there long before Wei Wuxian did, so it felt unfair to him to have uncle Jiang drive it away, especially as he sometimes heard it cry at night, when he drifted off in the plane between dreaming and being awake. This being, whatever it was, seemed to carry great sorrow, and Wei Wuxian felt pitiful of it in a way that he could not explain – perhaps because he too could understand loneliness and grief.

And so, Wei Wuxian had grown used to the strange presence in his attic-turned-bedchamber, sharing the space with whatever lived with him with less and less fear every day. Sometimes, it would ruffle the small, white curtain that Jiang Yanli hung at his window when there was no wind, or flick through discarded pieces of talisman paper and calligraphy notes at night, almost as if assessing Wei Wuxian’s work. It was not rare to find blots of ink scattered across corners of parchment paper as if trying to copy the writing there.

Though these instances had frightened Wei Wuxian at the start, he felt nothing malicious in any of these strange gestures, not even when he began finding rocks and strange plants by his bed or on his desk that he had not put there.

He smiled, jokingly praising the entity for attempting to pay rent, and even talked to it about his day when there was nobody else to listen – because, in truth, Madam Yu’s plan had worked, the new room isolating Wei Wuxian from Jiang Cheng and many of his other comrades. The building was tucked in a far corner of the Jiang family compound, the very last structure of the lavish estate before the territory stretched into endless towns and villages, and none of Wei Wuxian’s friends lived there. Madam Yu did not allow Jiang Cheng to visit often, and Wei Wuxian could spend time with him and the others for a short while before he had to adhere to curfew – the servants locked the building early at night for fear of robbers.

And som all the companionship Wei Wuxian was left with was the strange entity in his room that he sometimes even doubted actually existed. Surely, he had seen the signs of its presence often, but in his loneliest days, he wondered whether he had not imagined the thing to exist so he would bear the loneliness easier.

He became certain of its existence one day, the very first day he had found himself the receiving end of Madam Yu’s violence and her wrathful Zidian. She had not hit him with it until then, but something he had done (it didn’t even matter what it had been, how small and insignificant) set her off to the point that she dragged him to his room in the attic and whipped him until her anger dissipated into exhaustion.

There were two things Wei Wuxian understood that day: one, that Madam Yu would always resent him; the second, that she had no qualms hurting him about it now. And where there had only been harsh words and ridiculous punishments, she now added violence to its most direct form.

It was hard to say what hurt more, the welts throbbing on his back or this knowledge.

But as soft sobs echoed through the room, the darkness morphed into something soft, almost comforting, a phantom feeling of somebody trying to soothe him. It was faint, barely there as Wei Wuxian struggled between sleep and being awake – but it made a small smile appear on his face, a confirmation that there was at least somebody (or, rather, something) that cared for him.

So, it had not been just two things that Wei Wuxian learned that day, but three – the third, that he truly was not alone.

He would come to learn the fourth thing years later – that he was loved.

--

The next time Madam Yu dragged him off for a whipping (she never did it in public places, either because she did not want others to know how cruel she was to her sect’s head disciple or just to drive it home how little she thought of Wei Wuxian, punishing him in the servants’ house he lived in), something unusual happened, so unusual it frightened the woman into forgoing the punishment.

Zidian did not sparkle to life.

Try as she might, her spiritual powers did not materialize into the purple lightning whip she wielded so fiercely, the ring useless on her hand. It was as though something was blocking it off from manifesting, something as powerful as it was angry. She felt it, a strange presence that exuded so much anger that it made the hair on the back of her head raise – and for a brief moment, she feared for her life. Defenseless against something unseen, something that so obviously wanted her dead.

(Wei Wuxian had spoken into his empty-but-not-quite room about Madam Yu and her punishments – sometimes with frustration, indignant of her unfairness, other times sorrowful, nursing wounds. And so, the entity in his room knew who she was and the kind of treatment Wei Wuxian had to endure, growing resentful of her and protective of him.)

Madam Yu could feel it, the danger of the entity haunting the attic, and she realized she did not want to risk its wrathfaster than she had the time to wonder what it even was or why Wei Wuxian did not seem scared. So, she stormed out of the room, muttering curses, nervously fiddling with her unresponsive spiritual weapon.

In the attic, the atmosphere remained tense – not with fear, but with a strange sort of uncertainty. Wei Wuxian looked over the room, trying to spot any signs of the entity’s presence, and found the lid to the maintenance hole askew, as if the thing had burrowed there in shame after standing up to Madam Yu.

“Did you do that?” Wei Wuxian asked softly, crouching over the side of the dark hole, “Were you the one that stopped Madam Yu from whipping me?”

There was no answer, but Wei Wuxian couldn’t help a small, grateful smile from curling on his lips, speaking a soft, quiet “thank you” into the darkness of the hole as he fixed the lid over it with gentle hands. If the thing had revealed itself, Wei Wuxian thought, he would have hugged it.

--

Madam Yu attempted to punish him a second time after that incident, intent on using the discipline whip on him for some other minor slight she thought monumental. Wei Wuxian had grown used to her inclinations and did not bother to argue or defend himself, not only because he knew it useless, but also because he had his own pride as a man that didn’t allow him to grovel at her feet anymore.

He had grown tired of trying to do that anyway, after so many years and countless failed attempts to invoke her kindness.

Though Wei Wuxian knew that the scars of the discipline whip would never fade and he would bear the mark of Madam Yu’s cruelty for life, he did not find it in himself to be afraid, even knowing the searing pain that would follow. His expression gave away a quiet, tired resignation, as if what would be happening to him was the natural progression of Madam Yu’s hatred of him.

However, just as unexpected as last time, the pain never came, the skin on Wei Wuxian’s back unmarred despite Madam Yu’s attempts. But, unlike that time, it was not just a presence she could feel – rather, as her hand rose, building momentum for the strike, the lid covering the maintenance hole nearly flew off its hinges, a dark smoke rushing out of it and into the room, enveloping Madam Yu’s hand in translucent wisps. Though they appeared light and soft as feathers, she felt them as though lead had encased her bones, a painful, crushing pressure causing her fingers to uncoil from the discipline whip, the item falling helplessly from her hand.

She tried to scream, but no sound came out, and her struggling had not yielded fruit – but as amazed as Wei Wuxian was to finally lay eyes onto the entity that he had shared the past ten years with as a roommate, it became apparent to him that it was intending to kill Madam Yu, dark wisps curled around her neck like hungry vipers.

Terror could be read in her eyes, wide and tearful as air slowly became more and more of a luxury that the wrathful spirit would not allow her – and Wei Wuxian had to save her, despite her abuse and her violent nature, despite knowing that, on a karmic level, she deserved to die this way.

So, with a slight tremor to his hand, he reached for one of the wisps that curled onto the floor, ready to strike Madam Yu alongside the others, gently touching the formless creature as if to pet it. It startled, frozen in place, all the other wisps around Madam Yu stilling, as if shocked by the sudden contact – none as shocked as Madam Yu herself.

“You…are you doing this?!” She asked, anger sparking in her eyes among all the fear. “You monst-“

One of the wisps curled around her mouth, leaving her lips sealed.

Wei Wuxian felt immensely grateful for that, though he never said it. Instead, he leaned down and caressed the now rigid wisp of smoke, speaking to it softly: “That’s enough… you’ve done enough, let her go now…”

It shivered against his fingers, in protest, a low, gravely voice replying, in broken words, “…hurt…Wei Ying…”

“I’m not hurt, though.” He continued, reassuringly, patting the end of the wisp as if it was an unruly child.

“…protect…Wei Ying…”

“You’ve protected me, haven’t you? I’m not hurt at all. So, you’ve done what you said, you can let her go.”

The wisp curled around his hand, both protective and possessive. “Mine…”

Wei Wuxian startled at that, not knowing what to make of it or how to reply to that declaration, the intensity of it echoing into some untapped part of his heart. Had the creature become attached to him throughout the years? Had it mistakenly thought Wei Wuxian as some kind of…partner?

What would that mean for him now?

“Let her go, please. I don’t want her to die.” He decided to say, ignoring the entity’s previous statement.

It shivered around Wei Wuxian’s hand, unhappy to listen to him, but it yielded nevertheless, dropping Madam Yu to the floor. She had long become unconscious, with the fear and the lack of proper air, her arm bruised where the entity attacked her first.

“You didn’t need to do that.” He chided the creature, “How will I explain this away now?”

It coiled tighter around Wei Wuxian’s wrist, as the gravely voice from before replied in his ears. “…protect…”

The tiniest of smiles appeared on his lips, “I know. Thank you for that. But now I’m going to be in even more trouble…”

“…she will not speak…” the voice echoed into his head again. “…do not worry…”

And as unlikely as that seemed to him, Wei Wuxian believed it. Perhaps whatever this thing was, whatever it thought Wei Wuxian was to him, it really did only ever want to help him and it would protect him, no matter what. In fact, if he were to consider it, this creature had been his only friend in many senses of the word, and he had spoken to it more openly than he had to anyone.

Would it have been so unusual for it to have developed a sense of attachment to him? If Wei Wuxian were a ghost trapped in some kind of hole in a house, would he not also grow fond of the person that acknowledged him and treated him kindly?

“What is your name?”

The creature slithered up to him, formless and dark, coiling around his limbs like bracelets.

“…Lan…Lan Zhan…”

“Lan Zhan.” He repeated the name, the syllables soft on his tongue. “You’re living in that hole over there, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

Wei Wuxian huffs a surprisingly fond breath, “So then, all this time, it’s been you I’ve shared this room with…” He mindlessly pats at the wisps around his wrists as he speaks, “why are you here of all places, hm?”

The voice replies in his ears, “Home…”

Wei Wuxian’s gaze softened. “This was your home?”

The voice grew quieter, almost sorrowful, as it replied, “No… looking for home.”

“You found your home here then?” He asks again, soothing over the creature’s limbs. “Just like I did?”

“Yes.”

There was a pause, the creature curling tighter around Wei Wuxian, seeking comfort. He continued caressing it, the formless smoke taking the vague shape of hands. “Why were you wandering, Lan Zhan?”

It did not reply for a long time and Wei Wuxian did not speak again until it did, its voice soft, almost vulnerable. “Lost…”

“You lost your home?”

The vaguely shaped hands squeezed tighter at Wei Wuxian’s fingers and he knew that had been the case. He did not want to ask for details, because he could tell it made the creature sorrowful to speak of it, so he muttered, gently, “You have a home now.”

“…You…” the voice echoed in his mind, and Wei Wuxian could not find it in himself to be afraid this time, strangely comforted with the creature’s presence and its words. It was not unexpected or unusual – this spirit clung onto him after it lost its home and found this attic to dwell in, with a companion to boot. Wei Wuxian had unknowingly become its family, just as it had become his.

[kankuroplease]

could you do an Hc of Sena please, he's the only one left 😆 I would like to understand why he would have preferred to be the only child and why he dares to hit little Mika 😫 I don't forgive him even if he is rather beautiful 😑... in short, by the way I really like your art I live for it 😍lol, and the little aburame are adorable I think their glasses are stylish 🤩

He is the chaotic neutral sibling that has a LOT of red flags 🚩

A fussy baby but nothing new to his parents, they’d just wrap him a little tighter and soothe him with back pats until he relaxed/calmed down.

He never really got along with his siblings (the triplets) as their personalities clashed and he often wasn’t allowed to get his point across before their parents intervened

Unlike Leonie’s aloof demeanor towards the comments about their shared skin condition, Sena found it extremely annoying to have it mentioned

So he fought those kids

Unlike Mika, who was the “perfect” son, he seemingly couldn’t do anything right/kept making mistakes

“You should follow Mika’s lead” was a common phrase he heard and that was extremely annoying

And Mika trying to extend him his help just angered him more, so he would fight with him because there’s no way Mika couldn’t see that he was treated like the “golden” child while he (Sena) was the “problematic” child

Having so many siblings felt suffocating; Asahi always had his friend around, Kuri was like a second mother, Frederick was overzealous, Leonie was always clinging to Mika, and Mika could do no wrong. So by the time Elke was born, he was over it.

He just wanted to leave

And he took every opportunity to push his luck and travel further and further away from home as child

First it was leaving the house as a young child without asking

Then it was going to the end of the village

Then it was crossing the river

Then it was camping out overnight by himself in the forest

That one actually got him in trouble and lectured by his father and made his mother question why he was behaving like that

They’re his family, he can talk to them and tell them anything

Sena simply said he was unhappy being one of many and wanted to leave

After the shock wore off and his mother told his father to go somewhere (because he was trying to argue with a child), his mom said that she really wanted him to be happy and she can understand his want for independence

However, she needed him to stay. He has his whole adult life to wander wherever he wants. He even has family he can meet back in their homeland, but he shouldn’t run from things just because they’re a little hard

So with a pinky promise to not hold him back once he was old enough AND to let him stay at grandma’s 3 days of the week

With that, Sena got some alone time which allowed him to breathe and grow an appreciation for his time with his siblings

Because Ebba had him working HARD jobs for trying to sass her

He trained under his grandmother’s guidance and has a natural with ninkens around town, often times getting them to obey his orders

It wasn’t until he was a pre-teen that he accepted his own ninken companion which was given to him by a wolf

Like “where’d you get the pup?” “A she-wolf” “oh.. wait, whaaaat?”

His popularity grew as he got older, with his previous aggression morphing into him becoming aggressively confident and more sociable

His white forelock proved to be a great ice breaker with the ladies and if that failed, their was Mika’s adorably oblivious self that made a great wingman

He learned he had a sliver tongue that could talk his way out of most situations and if he couldn’t, a little space seemed to cool people off

True Communication was never important to him as he never felt a need to go that deep or express every thought he had

Sometimes he just craved solitude to clear his head. Sometimes the weight of everything was too much and he’d shut down if he didn’t get that space from the situation

He was the teen that was always coming home late and sometimes not at all, that would joke his way out of trouble with his parents

A little bit of a playboy. He had multiple girlfriends and they all would argue over him/with him because he gave them the same sweet words

He fully accepted he was a jerk in most cases. Tell him something he doesn’t know he just didn’t care to people please

As much fun as he was having, he was also bored of the same old routine and told his parents it was time for him to go

Which of course they tried to protest, but he reminded them that while young, by societies standards he was a man and they had said he could venture out when he was old enough

Besides he had Shin (his ninken) to keep him safe on top of being the only kid they had to complete Ebba’s shinobi training

He wouldn’t die and if he did, just know he died doing something he’s longed to do.. plus they had 7 other kids to wipe their tears

He didn’t have a send off but he left everyone a letter stating he was going to the land of fire to see what all the fuss was about

And he did end up there eventually, after a few adventures of wandering around

He even ran into Arashi and his husband on a pirate ship. Little bro grew facial hair and saved his ass 😅

Once in the land of fire, he was pleasantly surprised by how different it was

He knew where to find the Uchiha’s and his uncles thanks to his mother, but he didn’t really make himself known to them

He was more interested in checking out the Inuzuka clan/visiting his aunt Meiko

It was there that he caught the most alluring scent he’d ever smelled and it was coming from the most wild woman he’d ever seen (Tsume)

Freshly home from a mission hosing off her ninken while talking excitedly about the upcoming festival with her comrades

She commanded the area and her eyes pierced right through him when they met his. Looking him up and down with a curious stare

And just as he was about to say something, she blast him with the hose

Giving him a wolfish smile and coy shrug before she and her comrades burst out laughing at his stunned face

It took him a moment to snap out of his daze, but he chuckled and simply said “thanks, I needed that” before carrying on with his day

His nice jacket drenched, shoes squeaking every so often, and once fluffy hair weighed down with water stuck to his forehead all made him smile

She’s feisty. He likes that.

He tried to pry information out of his aunt about the the wild haired brunette, about this heigh, modest bust, tight ass, boisterous, and really fuckin’ hot girl he had the pleasure of getting sprayed by

But she smacked the back of his head for saying those things and told him to keep it in his pants up least that girl rip it off him if he tried anything (rightfully so. The horny bastard)

he was causing quite the scene with the Inuzuka women because he really knew how to entertain (thanks Kuri, Frederick, and Mika)

The Inuzuka men appreciated his crude humor and tales of the lands he’s seen

But none of that brought him any closer to the one girl he wanted to get to know

However he was confident that he could at least get to talk to her at the festival, so he made sure to pay a visit to the one man he heard of that he knew for a FACT would have access to some impressive Yukatas

(Uncle) Tenko

And he was right! (Or his mother was right about her brother being a flashy man). Even in his older years, his extravagant lifestyle was evident

Tenko asked him about what took so long for him to show himself (his mother only sent him a letter every two months asking if he’d visited Konoha yet) and Sena didn’t really have a good reason other than not wanting to have live up to a name he doesn’t even possess (the Uchiha name)

No hard feelings though, If his nephew needed his help impressing some young thing. He would help him

A nice black Yukata with all the trimmings was all his. Oh and that girl he’s raving about? Sounds like, Tsume.

He could be wrong, but go ahead and tell her half of those descriptive words he used to her face

If he gets a swift knee in the balls, that’s definitely her

With that information and his outfit he went in the festival on a mission: don’t piss her off

When he found her at the festival, she was just as radiant as ever, standing like she boss she was

He could barely think over the music and his own heartbeat, but he did manage to properly introduce himself

She was clearly a bit tipsy as she hummed aloud and asked her Ninken should she introduce herself to this bastard before sticking her hand out and saying her name

“It’s Tsume~”

Her handshake was firm and she pulled him closer to whisper she knows he’s been asking about her before playfully walking her fingers up his chest before pushing him back

She told him to accompany her and he jumped at the chance

She bought a dog collar from a stall and half jokingly told him it’s his as he’s her guard dog for the night (he put it on and barked, shocking her for a moment before they both laughed)

The evening was full of laughs, odd questions to get to know each other, lots of play fighting, and falling over every other thing as they drank more and more. It was perfect to him

He wanted to get to know her better and wanted her to get to know him

He was ready to stay somewhere for once without wondering what else was out there

And when Tsume and him grew closer, he started thinking about how this is what they call love

She pushed him and he loved that

She was perfectly rough around the edges

She liked hearing about his travels before coming to Konoha

They found it fun to compare traditions of the Inuzuka there versus his home town

When he found out that they would be parents, he was excited

When he held Hana, he felt so much joy

He looked like her mother but she had his eyes. His perfect little one

He could hold her all day

Then the peace was shattered and suddenly he understood why his parents wanted out of the land of fire

He tried talking to Tsume about packing up and coming back to his country

She didn’t want to leave her people and insisted he should fight for them and his daughter too

It was around this time he pulled his first disappearing act to clear his head

He really was just off in some inn thinking of what the right thing to say or do was. Maybe even cry a little

It wasn’t for long, but long enough that Tsume and him got into a big argument

His irresponsibility was surfacing and creating a wedge between them

The fought, made up, things would get difficult and he’d need to “clear his head” again and the cycle would repeat

with each time becoming a little longer than the last

He didn’t want to make her mad, but he lost the ability to make her as happy as he once had

Eventually, they learned that they were expecting another child and while he was excited. Tsume was not.

She knew his pattern by then and they were in a rough patch; meaning he was likely to pull a disappearing stunt AGAIN the moment another argument broke out

But she gave him a warning; if he disappeared on his family again, he might as well do it for good. She couldn’t keep doing this and the kids deserved reliability.

In a much happier au, he’d get his mess together and communicate properly with everyone. Staying for his family and mend his relationship the Tsume because he truly loves her. Watching Hana and Kiba grow up first hand

Following the regular timeline, Tsume and him would get in a big argument when she finds out that 1. He hasn’t even told his family about their children 2. He’s withheld crucial information about who he is/who he’s related to

Which leads to him storming off in the night and her shouting at him that this was no longer his home or family

He barely got to even hold Kiba or bond with him and that keeps him up some nights

He sees the kids every time to time, with Hana clearly remembering him and telling him how likely her mom is to rip off his face if she catches him talking to her

And Kiba sort of flies right past him without knowing it’s him when he’s in town

Tsume isn’t quite as angry with him anymore, but she doesn’t think he’s a good influence for their children nor that he should just be able to drop in and out of their lives when it’s convenient for him

He ends up settling back into his home country with none of his siblings knowing about the family he made/lost

Keeping the pictures he has of the kids and Tsume and his younger years together in an album in keeps in the closet

His father knows and is very disappointed in him (which, fair. He’s disgusted with himself too)

Mika and Leonie feel like he’s hiding something, but at the same time he tells them it’s not up to him if/when he’ll be able to tell them his story. He respects someone’s (Tsume’s) wishes too much

He knows he doesn’t have a right to bother her anymore, but he still wants her/what they could’ve had

He’s selfish and he knows that

He was lucky once and he fucked that all the way up and he knows it

But still

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2024 Day 6

Road Trip or Drug Trip

I love thinking about how a lot of Toki's life experiences where with Dethklok because prior to that he was pretty much isolated from the world.

Today's entry is an example of that, featuring my holy trifecta: Toki, Skwisgaar and Pickles. Because, of course, Pickles can't be missing when it comes to recreational drugs ;)

When Toki saw Skwisgaar and Pickles hanging out in the living room of their apartment, he got curious.

Ever since he joined Dethklok, he had practically clung to Skwisgaar like a baby koala would to a mother. He was the one he felt closest to, in more than one way.

And, Pickles? Well, he was no Skwisgaar, though he was pretty approachable too so Toki walked up to them to ask them what they were up to.

In an almost solemn manner, Pickles tapped at the sofa he was sitting on, and Toki sat next to Skwisgaar, leaving very little space between them. Skwisgaar barely reacted.

“Toki,” Pickles leaned in, like he was going to open his coat and show him the rarest candy in the world. “Have you ever tried acid?”

“Acids?” Toki repeated in confusion. “Whats lemons tastes like?”

Skwisgaar groaned and Pickles let out a belly laugh. “Nuh, nuh, I mean…” He stretched his hand in front of Toki and opened it. A single orange square with a green skull drawn on it laid on his palm. “This.”

“Wowee…” Toki inspected the tiny drawing. “What ams this?”

“Whaddya think?” Pickles grinned at him. When Toki didn’t seem to understand, he stuck his tongue to reveal a white square on his tongue. 

“Oh!”

“Ja, Tokes, we ams doingks drugs.” Skwisgaar said, resting his back on the couch. “Kids hours ams overs.” He closed his eyes, seemingly relaxed.

Pickles gave Toki a mischievous look. “Unless you wanna join the adults.” 

“Uhm…”

“Pickle, no,” Skwisgaar intervened, still with his eyes closed. “He ams goingks to flips out and thens I’ll has to takes cares of him. Likes always.” He muttered the last two words.

Ignoring his bandmate, Pickles offered his palm to Toki. “So?”

“Mmh…” Toki’s gaze alternated between the drug and Skwisgaar. “Mmh…” He kept looking, undecided. “Okays!” He accepted, took the small tab and put it in his mouth before he swallowed. 

“Atta boy!” Pickles patted him in the shoulder, chuckling.

“Now whats?” Toki asked.

“Now…” Pickles laid down on the couch. “You wait…”

“Oh…” Toki frowned in disappointment.

He hated having to wait.

–

Bored off his mind, Toki fell asleep on the couch, only waking up when Murderface dropped beers in the kitchen and Nathan yelled at him in frustration. 

The initial grogginess didn’t wear off after a few seconds, and Toki felt slow and kind of stupid, but not in the way weed made you feel slow and stupid. Not in a happy, funny way, no. It was daunting and he felt weirdly empty and lost. Like there was something off with him. Like there was something really wrong with him. And what were those moving spots on the wall, were they always there? Wait, where did they go?

“How is it goin’, Toki?” Pickles asked with a sleazy smile, he was now smoking a blunt. “Feelin’ it yet?”

“Uhm…” Toki gazed at his surroundings, trying to find the spots again. “Ams…” The patterned floor seemed to be moving now. “What ams happenings to mes?”

“Ye’r trippin’, dummy.” Pickles said. “Do ya like it?”

“Uhm, n-nots reallies…” Toki replied, feeling like a stranger in his own body, in his own home. “Cans I stops?”

“Dere we goes…” Skwisgaar shook his head. “Now he ams goingks to cries and ruins my trips.” He clicked his tongue in frustration. “Dis is fuckingks dildoes…”

For some reason, rather than wishing to prove Skwisgaar wrong, Toki felt weirdly enabled by the commentary instead. “Ahhh!” He cried, huddling to Skwisgaar for comfort. “Dis ams scaries! Makes it stop, Pickle!”

“Toki, gets off me…” Skwisgaar grumbled, though he hardly did anything besides that. 

“Ahh!” Toki lifted his feet off the floor, convinced he had just seen a squared snake slithering around. “What the hecks?!”

“Haha, he said heck…” Pickles giggled, amused by the sight. 

“Skwisgaar!!!” Toki shook the guitarist’s arm. “I don’ts likes this!!”

“And I don’ts likes you clinginks to mine arms but whats cans I does…” Skwisgaar stared at the ceiling. “Eugheugh, dere ams somes guitars floatingks deres.”

Pickles followed his gaze. “Oh, yah, that’s totally sick, dood.” He pointed at a spot on the ceiling. “They have like, little stars all over and they are twinklin’, twinklin’...”

Toki raised his eyes and saw nothing but the white boring paint and the fluorescent light blinking, attracting moths. “Why amsnt I sees the sames things yous see? Why amsnt I on de sames trips you has?! Whys?!”

“Toki.” 

“Whats?” Toki looked down in despair. 

Pickles was smirking at him. “Just let it flow, dood.” Then, he blew smoke into Toki’s face…

…And it was like he was transported into a different world. He glanced around and he was floating on a big white guitar. More specifically, a Snowhorse Explorer. The sky was shifting colors in irregular shapes and lines, constantly everchanging, constantly moving. Unlike the sky, the guitar had a permanent form, moving forwards and carrying Toki with itself. 

Curious, Toki peeked to see what was under and spotted rocky mountains, covered with polka dots of different colors. It made for quite the beautiful sight. However, when he looked closer he realized the dots were actually skulls. Hundreds, thousands of skulls all over the mountains. And some of them still had eyes, glaring at him with such hatred that he was instantly reminded of his parents.

“Ahh!” He looked away, clutching onto the guitar for the lack of anything else to hold.

“Toki.” A deep voice resonated and Toki tried to search for the owner to no avail. The guitar vibrated under him when the voice spoke again. “You gotsa to calms down.”

“Skwisgaar?” 

“Ja.” Skwisgaar said. “Dis ams likes a guitars solos. Yous controls it.”

“I does?”

“You have the power, Toki.” Another voice said, up in the sky and Toki looked up. There was a beer bottle amidst the chaos. “Make it yer thin’.”

Before Toki could say anything, however, the sky abruptly turned into a whirlpool, pulling Toki inside. The guitar accelerated and Toki had to grab onto it so as not to fall. He wasn’t scared anymore, though, just curious about where it all led. Well, he was maybe still a little scared, except the curiosity weighed more.

As they approached the inners of the swirl, the colors began vanishing, turning into blinding white instead. The buzzing in Toki’s ears was deafening, so much that he couldn’t hear himself screaming anymore. He couldn’t feel his hands either, or the rest of his body. It was as if he was fading away, disappearing into the light, so he closed his eyes…

And suddenly everything stopped. 

Toki opened his eyes to a completely different sight.

It was still colorful, albeit slightly less chaotic. Purple blue skies and magenta clouds decorated by flowers. Pink sand with big gummy bears on one side, and fresh green grass with mushrooms on the other. Kitties floating on gigantic candy. And rainbows, so many rainbows. All over the place.

It was beautiful. 

The Snowhorse descended to let him down on the ground, where Toki began happily exploring. He could even spot a castle in the distance and, somehow, he knew in his heart that it was his. That this was all his.

His heart swelled with happiness.

–

“Uhh…he hasn’t moved in a while.” Pickles said, eyes reddened but slightly worried. “Should we call the ambulance?”

“Eugh, no ways, we’ds gets arresteds.” Skwisgaar replied. After a moment, he turned to Toki, whose eyes were closed, and he smiled. “He ams enjoyingks it.”

“He is?!”

“Ja,” Skwisgaar leaned down and picked his Snowhorse. “Soes lets not ruins dats.” Unceremoniously, he began fretting on the guitar. 

And it turned into the most beautiful music in Toki’s world.

[atsoomi]

It's been exactly 2 days, 4 hours, and 32 minutes since you and Kuroo got married.

It was the kind of wedding you thought you’d never get the privilege of having— small, comfortable, and filled with familiar faces— not to mention, the most memorable day of your life. You’d never thought you could be that happy, or that you’d be surrounded by so many people who shared the sentiment. But if Kuroo has done anything through the course of your entire relationship, it’s prove your negative thoughts wrong.

And then, of course, came the honeymoon. 

Previously, you’d argued with him a lot about where to go for the honeymoon period. He thought somewhere in Japan— like Hokkaido with its breathtaking natural scenery, or Kyoto with its countless temples— would do just fine. But you’d nagged him about taking you somewhere outside the country, reminding him of the fact that you live in Japan; you have the rest of your lives to travel around Japan, but who knows when you’ll get the chance to go to Europe again?

After a few weeks of going back and forth, discussing all the possible locations and looking up things till one in the morning, you finally agree on Italy, specifically, Venice. It’s the perfect mix of culture and fun for both of you, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t dying to see The Grand Canal, especially with all the lights at night.

So, after a day of post-wedding packing, and a long day of traveling, you’re finally in Venice. In Venice, on your honeymoon. And it would be absolutely perfect, if you hadn’t lost your husband of two days in the crowd of locals. 

You’d done a lot, a lot, of research on spots in Venice that you wanted to visit during the 3-week stay. And you’ve always known (after a lifetime of fantasizing about this trip) that if you come to Italy, you have to try their gelato. So you went through a few articles, bookmarked a few websites, and found this shop, Gelateria il Doge. 

It’s been described as a hidden attraction, and you’ve always loved discovering hidden gems. The excitement was so overpowering that the first thing you decided to do once you settled down in your hotel room is go out and find it. Kuroo can’t say no when you’re so excited, so it only took twenty minutes to find yourself at the desired spot.

You went in, without Kuroo because he insisted on slowing down and taking some more pictures, and you finally ordered the gelato you’ve been thinking about since you agreed to come to Italy. But it seems to have cost you your husband.

He’s not where he was standing five minutes ago, you turn and scan the mass of people walking by, but you don’t spot the familiar head of dark hair. Your phone rests in your cross bag but your hands are full with gelato, so you hesitantly accept your fate and sit on the nearest bench you can find, assuming that you’ll just spot him when he comes back from wherever he went. 

You sit and admire the cold treat in your hand, it’s beautiful and inviting and it makes you feel like you’ve never had ice cream before. It makes you feel like your life is about to be altered permanently, even though you’re not completely sure what flavor you got— something about poor Italian skills and taking risks.

You’re about to taste it for the first time, practically salivating at that point, when a strange guy sits on the same bench, seemingly popping out of nowhere. You pause, mouth shutting, as you peer at him with caution. He’s undeniably good looking, skin-kissed tan skin and brown hair falling over warm green eyes, but he’s not exactly your type. No other man could be.

You attempt to ignore his presence, but he turns his head and you make intense eye contact. Your mouth hangs slightly open as he scans your face, it’s awkward and you feel the awkwardness paralyze you into speechlessness. You’re sure you look incredibly dumb but your mind is too busy malfunctioning to save you. 

His eyes go down to your hand and he says something in Italian that you don’t understand. A few seconds pass by before he reaches for it, your hand that is, with wide eyes. You reflexively flinch away, alarmed at the sudden approach. What the hell is going on?

“Oh my god, you idiot, the gelato.” He speaks, frustrated, this time in the language you can understand, with a heavy Italian accent. 

You look down at your hands and you’re surprised at the trail of melted gelato on your hand. Oh, he’s not a creep, you realize, he was just trying to help.

You bashfully keep your head down, embarrassed at how you reacted and the fact that you were too tense to realize he said the word gelato about 3 times. God, this is embarrassing, where is your husband when you need him? 

“Sorry about that,” you lick the melted sweet off as discreetly as possible, “I don’t speak Italian.” 

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Yeah, I can tell.” 

You’re silent, ashamed to be specific, as you eat the rest of your gelato before something else happens. He observes you for a few minutes, as you eat from both cones to prevent any disasters, before he chuckles quietly. 

“Tourist?” He asks. 

“Kinda,” you answer, slowly relaxing as the embarrassment wears off. 

He nods, “How did you find this store then?” he points to Gelateria il Doge. It stands there proudly, almost mocking you for making a fool out of yourself in front of a local.

“Oh, lots of research.” You laugh to yourself, remembering the sight of a very tired Kuroo by your side while you’re on your thousandth new tab. “It actually wasn’t that hard.” 

“Do you like it?” He asks. 

“The gelato?” 

He shakes his head, “Italy.” 

“Oh,” you smile, “yeah, it’s lovely and I’ve wanted to visit for a really long time.” He hums approvingly so you go on. “You’re Italian, aren’t you? Grew up here?”

“Kinda”, he retorts and you giggle, “I grew up in the south, but my brother lives here.” 

You nod your head in understanding; more questions are on the tip of your tongue (like his name for example?) when you’re interrupted by a familiar voice. 

“Oh I thought you looked familiar.” You turn your head and see your husband of two days walking towards you and this Italian stranger. He beams at you, happy to be reunited with the sight of your lovely face, but halts for a second when his eyes shift over to the guy. He tips his head to the side, silently asking about him, and you just smile. I’ll tell you later. 

“You weren’t going to eat both gelatos yourself after all,” the Italian says, which reminds you of the two cones you’ve been holding yourself the whole time, and the fact that your husband walked off and left you all alone, in Venice of all places. You’ll definitely yell at him once you’re alone, but for now, you settle on standing up and handing him his cone. 

“I’ll leave you lovebirds alone now, enjoy the honeymoon, ciao.”

He winks at you discreetly, maybe not discreet enough because Kuroo suddenly places his arm around your shoulder protectively, and you manage to wave at him before he’s gone. 

Kuroo turns to you, eyebrow raised, “was he hitting on you?” 

You laugh, “that’s all you care about, isn’t it? What about telling me where the hell you’ve been? Or apologizing for making me wait so long,” you slap his chest, “it’s actually your fault I had to entertain another man.” 

He holds your hand against his chest, grinning at the fake annoyance in your voice, “I apologize my dear, dear wife.” His eyes rest on the ring he put on your finger for a second, feeling prideful. “ Let’s sit, we have to finish this before it melts.” 

While you eat, you tell him about the whole interaction with the Italian man and every small thing that happened while you were apart. He scoffs at the events between you and the guy, fully convinced that he just wanted an excuse to touch your hand. You laugh and tease him about how attractive the guy was, telling him maybe you should’ve gone with the guy who didn’t leave you all alone. He flicks your forehead before you can continue and that conversation gets lost between all the other topics. You ask him what he was doing while he was gone, and he smiles, all-knowing and mysterious. 

“You’ll see.”

[reality-detective]

Let’s talk about love…

I often write about love in the overarching sense of the word, that is, the all encompassing energy with which this universe was created. But today I want to talk about ‘romantic love’, the one we more often speak about, the one that can make us feel on top of the world or at the bottom of a pit! Yeah that one…🙄

I’ve had my share of heartache in life and I have also been a shoulder to cry on for many friends going through breakups and divorce. In hindsight, I can only say, that as painful as breakups are, they are also the greatest chance to gain real wisdom about ourselves and those around us.

People often jump into the next relationship as fast as they can, just like you would take a painkiller for a headache, but I think this is often a mistake, for you end up missing the many valuable lessons that life was trying to teach you. Which means they will come back again! 🤪

Time is the only healthy form of healing, it is also the only way to gain the necessary perspective to identify the lessons you were meant to learn.

‘Painkillers’ never get to the root of the problem, they simply numb the pain and hide the underlying issue, so don’t rush into the next romantic affair, instead take the time to reflect on things.

Healing from a broken heart is no easy feat, it can take a very long time and in some cases people never truly heal.

I have pondered many times on this matter, which has led me to question; what is it that we fall in love with, that makes it so hard to overcome?

Understanding how we are mainly driven by ego, rather than spirit, made me realise, that it’s in fact the ego that makes healing from a breakup so difficult.

Do we fall in love with the person? Or with how the person made us feel about ourselves? 🤔

In other words, are most romantic relationships a means of feeding the ego? He loves me, therefore I’m worthy? I am enough?

I’m not suggesting, by any means, that that’s all that romantic relationships are, but I do believe that a lot of the pain derived from separation, is the ego hurting from seemingly being rejected.

I have seen friends cry desperately for guys that were not worth considering for two seconds, which made me realise they were not crying for the loss of an excellent human being, they were crying from the feeling of rejection.

When you base your worth on external acceptance and recognition, instead of internal knowing, you risk suffering needlessly for people that didn’t deserve you in the first place.

So if you find yourself unable to get over a broken relationship, ask yourself who’s crying; is it your ego that is still licking its wounds? Or did you really walk away from an exceptional human being? (If it’s the latter, then you better recognise your mistakes and do something about it!)

But if it’s your ego performing a self-pitty show, try to step out of it and take an introspective journey until you see that you were always whole, that you don’t need someone else to complete you and that your happiness is in your hands, it’s your responsibility and nobody else’s.

True love can only come to you when you don’t expect it to do things it’s not meant to do. A true romantic relationship is made up of two ‘whole’ people that wish to share their ‘wholeness’ with each other, rather than complete one another.

Don’t let your ego run amok with your emotional well being, take the reigns, put it in it’s place and move forward.

- Laura Aboli

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv,

Do you have any recs where Draco is Harry’s gay awakening?

Thank you 🙏 You’re the absolute best.

Thank you, anon 💜 I got a few recs for you, these also include bi awakening. Btw Writcraft and ignatiustrout are great authors that often explore this theme in their works so I highly recommend checking their ao3. Enjoy!

Bridges by @cavendishbutterfly (E, 16k)

Harry and Draco are on a trip to Budapest to help with Kingsley's re-election, but that's the boring bit. More interesting: Harry Potter is changing his Tinder preferences to include men.

Poor Unfortunate Souls by @doubleappled (E, 19k)

Draco is a potioneer. Harry is trying to save his sex-challenged marriage. Everything is a mess, but at least there's an octopus in the lobby.

Harry Potter and The Bisexual Awakening by @writcraft (E, 23k)

Harry is perfectly content being single, heterosexual and living in Godric's Hollow with his very clingy rescue dog, Snitch. When Draco Malfoy turns up on Harry's doorstep demanding that Harry teach him how to drive, things quickly become a lot more complicated.

The Venice Job by nishizono (E, 25k)

Harry Potter was one of the youngest Aurors in history. He was the Boy Who Lived, and the Boy Who Lived Again. He loved Guinness and Quidditch, and hated pineapple. He wrote letters to Hagrid every Thursday, and on Sundays, he visited Hermione and Ron. Harry Potter was also not gay.

Buds, Blooms, and Beards by @corvuscrowned (E, 27k)

Harry and Ginny have built an easy, happy life for themselves after the war. They run a thriving plant shop together, they have a great relationship, and they're definitely not gay.

Around You Moves by ignatiustrout (M, 29k)

Harry knew Draco was gay when he invited him to move in. He’s never had a problem with this. So why does he feel so weird about Draco bringing men home all of a sudden?

War Wounds by SilentAuror (E, 30k)

Some wounds take longer to recover from than others. HP/DM, with background HP/GW. Themes of alcoholism, love triangles, and dubious fidelity.

On One's Knees by pir8fancier (E, 34k)

The war is over and to the victors go the spoils. If you are triggered by infidelity, this is not the fic for you.

Here's The Pencil, Make It Work by ignatiustrout (M, 49k)

Harry thinks "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?"

The Beauty of Thestrals and Other Unseen Things by @writcraft (E, 63k)

Harry has terrific friends, an amazing girlfriend and his job as Head Auror enables him to work on challenging cases and Ministry reform. He just wishes he could work out why he’s been so out of sorts.

Reparo by amalin (E, 85k)

Voldemort's final defeat does not mean Harry Potter's troubles are over; far from it. In the aftermath of war, he returns to a Hogwarts that is fractured and divided, but this is no break that can be fixed with a spell. New owls, fading scars, surprising alliances—and along the way, the hardest task of all, to live with it.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose and dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Level Two: Series One by Ashii Black (ashiiblack), blamebrampton, Catsintheattic, dustmouth, epithalamium, incandescent (lmeden), josephinestone (orphan_account), leveltwo, nerakrose, raitala, Romaine, Vaysh, Writcraft (E, 113k)

Witches and wizards are disappearing in a seemingly random fashion. Coincidence? Abductions? But no one is claiming ransom. The Aurors are not even sure the disappearances are connected, then one of the missing turns up dead. Meanwhile, Auror Harry Potter is thrown into the infamous Sirius Black Muggle murder case from 25 years ago.

Star Quality by who_la_hoop (E, 118k)

Two years after the war, and Harry’s content with his life. OK, so it’s a little annoying that he keeps winning Witch Weekly’s Most Eligible Bachelor award, and he’s really not looking forward to the unveiling of an enormous gold statue of himself, but he loves his friends, and he loves being an Auror. And if he yearns for something more, something he can barely bring himself to think about, well, he’ll probably get over it. No one’s happy all the time, are they?

Things Worth Knowing by Femme and noeon (E, 164k)

After the Battle, Harry thinks he's left Hogwarts for good, but Minerva insists that all students return for an Eighth Year if they wish to sit for NEWTs in the spring, and Harry needs those NEWTs to go into the Aurors. Draco's just grateful not to be in Azkaban. Or the Manor. He's hoping he can steer clear of Potter this year and grapple with his own problems. Unfortunately for him, Potter appears to be one of those problems.

[livingslime]

Just finished playing the game and DAMN do I like it :3 (this is gonna be a long message hope that's okay, and discussing spoilers if that matters lol)

First, I, as a queer he/they, always appreciate a gender-neutral MC, so thank you. Also, love the design of the Doc, he's really cute, and I like how his eyes are both super big and adorable, but also really creepy when need be, good art

Second, during the first night, those eyes appearing in the door?Genuinely really scary. Like, I was expecting some level of creepiness from a game like this, but that was just terrifying. Anyway, my theory is that those eyes were the Anselm because this guy would probably freak tf out at the idea of someone else watching the MC. Bro would be possessive af (at least I sure hope he is)

Third, the endings. I liked them, yes I would love an ending with a seemingly happy life with Anselm, even if it technically isn't a good ending. I just have a soft spot for doctors. For the bad one, I don't know how dark you are going to go with the story, but my theory is that he did something to the MC's body, like their legs or something, to make them weaker so they can't escape, which is why he was so aggressive about the MC not being able to go on a walk. I mean... my body is pretty weak, but unless the MC is made of paper, they wouldn't just start bleeding out from standing up unless something was up? I'm onto you...

ANYWAYS! Excellent start! However, my one issue is the "illusion of choice" if that makes sense? Like, the little options the player is given over dialogue options don't have that much impact in the end? The only one that seemed to make a difference was choosing to accept or reject the medication. I think it would make the game a lot more dynamic and make the player feel like they have more impact in the story if the dialogue options had more branching paths. Like, if in the final product, depending on how you talk to Anselm, it affects how he treats the player or how far he is willing to try and go to keep you? I just feel like currently, the player lacks a bit of agency, but that's my only "complaint", and something that could definitely be explored in the final version! Hopefully, I'm not coming across as too mean.

I hope this game gets its final version, as I need more content with the doctor immediately! I love him!

-🐈‍⬛ (idk if you do anon tags and if you do hopefully this one isn't taken lol)

Hi hi! (°◡°♡) I'm overjoyed to hear that you enjoyed my demo! ♡

Note - I will try to be as spoiler free of the story so I cannot deny or confirm any theories ><

Hehe I'm really relieved I was able you freak you out! And yes, Anselm is certainly very possessive about you. Canonly, the MC is he first ever love, I would like to expand on this in the later chapters of the visual novel's full release!

For the neutral ending of the demo, its a continuation of the storyline! So in terms of story, there is still more to come. And of course, there will be endings for the MC and Anselm where they will be "together" (づ ◕‿◕ )づ

That's a very interesting theory! But I guess we'll just have to wait and see~ muahaha!

Yes! I actually do completely agree with you on that. This is something I wanted to touch on my next devlog.

I do plan on adding more content for day1-day3 of the demo, branching dialog, probably 2 more bad endings, CGs , Etc , before I start writing the later chapters, I do have a general idea for the story but I still need to finalize everything. I plan to have this update maybe beginning 2025 hopefully!

No no don't worry you are not coming across as mean at all I promise you ♡(◕ᗜ◕✿).

Personal note - I actually created Anselm when I was in a bad space. So every time I read how much love he gets, sometimes I feel like I might tear up... like I'm so touched (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ♡♡

I do hope I can bring the passion project fully to life! and thank you for loving him ♡

[avirael]

FFxivWrite 2024

Day 26 - Zip

Rael had enough of the moogles. They were sick and tired of them and their chattering, all their requests and their pranks. Yes, they had seen enough of these furred little monsters for the rest of their life — which is saying a lot.

The Viera had really tried to befriend the moogles! After all they were mostly peaceful and harmless creatures and Rael had already met some of them in the Black Shroud. Even there they had been little rascals with a tendency to cause trouble but usually they had meant well.

The shroud-moogles’ distant relatives from the Churning Mists however were on an entirely different level of being annoying. First there had been this ridiculous game of hide-and-seek, which Rael would have excused by the little creatures being shy and scared of strangers.

Then there had been the moogles‘ chieftain, Moglin, a particularly big and pompous fellow who had demanded them to pass a series of trials first, before offering help. Even that could have been acceptable if these trials had actually been tests of their abilities or trustworthiness. But instead it was very apparent that the moogles simpy tried to pass the chores they found too annoying onto someone else.

That way all of them had been entangled in a never ending set of ridiculous tasks! Collecting herbs and flowers, playing bodyguard for a slightly narcissistic specimen, household chores, helping a forgetful artist with finding his belongings and so much more — all in all nothing the moogles could not have solved by themselves if they weren’t so lazy.

The worst part of it all had not even been the little rascals constantly following them around, chattering, singing or trying to prank them until Rael almost yelled at them all to shut up. No! The worst part was that A’viloh seemed to enjoy this whole ordeal all too much. In a way Rael was glad he had fun and got along nicely with the moogles, but after a few hours of dealing with their combined silliness, Rael began to question the Miqo’te’s sanity.

Just as Rael was checking the kupo trees around the settlement for the moogles’ favourite food, A’viloh appeared, once again with an entourage of giggling moogles. Someone had braided colorful flowers into his hair and a wide happy grin was on his face.

“Rael!,” he already exclaimed happily before he even reached the Viera. “Look! I’ve been making flower decorations with Mogsy, Mogomo and Mogret!”

Rael sighed and tried to look friendly enough as they turned around towards the small group over overly joyous visitors. “That’s very nice, A’viloh…”

“I had to show you this one, because you like interesting plants, right?”, he happily kept on chattering and presented a small flower consisting of a white, round cotton-like pom. “See! Mogomo told me this a small version of these big plants we’ve seen earlier! The moogles call them Cloud Mallow and use it to spark motivation and joy!”

Rael raised an eyebrow and still wondered if that had been an euphemism for moogle drugs when A’viloh held up the strange cloud-like flower and took a deep breath. With one gust of air the blossom burst into hundreds of tiny parachute-like petals — most of them landing right in Rael face. The viera pressed their eyes shut and started to sneeze vehemently, while A’viloh and the moogles giggled.

Apparently these plants either were no happiness-inducing drugs or they simply worked differently on Viera, because all Rael felt was a growing sensation of anger. Once they had recovered from their sneezing fit, Rael just breathed deeply, trying to stay calm, and looked at A’viloh with a tired expression on their face.

“Very funny… Now would you mind helping me with gathering the ripe kupo nuts?”, they asked and held out the small basket in their hands for A’viloh to take. He immediately did so, seemingly very happy about his new task. Equally euphoric were the three moogles, who took each others hands and started a dance above A’viloh’s head, while singing another squeaky song about their favourite food.

A while A’viloh excitedly hummed along to the melody, before turning one of the fruits this way and that, eyeing it curiously. “What do these things taste like?”, he wondered aloud.

“You never have eaten kupo nuts, kupo?”, one of the moogles asked almost shocked, to which A’viloh shook his head.

“How horrible, kupo!”, another one cried. “You really should try one, kupo!”

The third one nodded. “You should, kupo! They simply taste mogtastic, kupo! We should all eat kupo nuts together, kupo!“

A’viloh seemed to like this idea. “Would you like to try a kupo nut too?”, he asked and offered one to Rael.

With a shake of their head, the Viera sighed. “We are supposed to gather them, not eat them, A’vi…”

One of the moogles nervously flapped with their tiny wings and arms, probably seeing their clever plan of stealing some snacks in danger. “Not even just a tiny one for each of us, kupo?”

“Please, Rael!”, A’viloh pleaded with his most irresistible expression on his face. „We will gather sooo many more that no one will notice a few missing.“

„Do whatever you want…“, Rael said unwilling to have a discussion about this.

The three moogles and A’viloh cheered happily and started to laugh and babble and sing again, while Rael tried to get their work done. A part of the Viera still wished they would all shut up, at least a minute, but seeing A‘viloh this happy was also not that bad.

[happyk44]

Do you have anymore of this written? Annabeth's way of helping Percy actually making it worse until he runs away and finally gets a taste of peace elsewhere? I love it so much.

https://www.tumblr.com/happyk44/749307578218053632?source=share

Pretty sure I've written something (or a couple somethings) similar to that piece before. It's a concept I really like. One of my first "Percy runs away to the Nome" pieces points out that Annabeth has been kind of preparing for the inherent trauma in being a demigod under the thumb of not so helpful gods her whole life compared to Percy who was thrown into it at random and retains a lot of bitterness over it versus passive acceptance the way Jason and Annabeth have kind of grown up to. Yeah, she has her beef with Hera but like. More or less, it's kind of "that's just how the gods are" with her and Percy is very much "well they should be fucking better".

I think that with her having known she was a demigod since she was a little kid, the difficulties she went through in getting to camp with Thalia, Grover and Luke, Thalia's sacrifice and seemingly having been holding onto the possibility of war at least since she was 12 and Percy came flailing into her life and into the prophecy - she's just able to compartmentalize her pains better than Percy who we know suffers more aptly with emotional regulation and anger issues. Whether she processes them in a healthy manner through this or represses, represses, represses is up to you, but I can see it being her default, and subsequently she gets very stressed out about Percy not being able to do the same thing.

Also people just process trauma differently and Annabeth gets very headstrong and stubborn about being right and that her way of doing things is superior (which is. like. one of the reasons I lowkey wanted to add her to the cluster B roster because imo her fatal flaw would fit NPD so well, but unfortunately I don't think enough of the diagnostic criteria suits her so RIP). So her way of handling trauma not working for Percy doesn't make sense to her, or the fact that Percy is still clearly having problems even if he pretends otherwise just makes her feel like he's not trying hard enough to get over it, so she starts pushing in ways that don't help because she's Annabeth and she knows how Percy works and she can map his way through this and if he would just try, then it would work (except they don't and they won't).

I've also mentioned before that Annabeth strikes me as someone who gets so beholden to her ideas and plans that any deviation from that plan (even if not well-thought out) is Not Allowed, and no matter how obvious the solution (change course, make other decisions, break-up and stay friends), she is extremely reluctant to do so. In Tartarus, she clung to the idea of her and Percy making it out alive and safe and moving to New Rome and being happy and going to college and growing old together and now, faced with the reality that the goal is likely unattainable (I really don't see Percy moving to California for college of all things, like let's be real) or facing some hitches (Percy's depression and self-isolation negates the whole happy and healthy thing), she gets further into her head about him not being able to get with the program.

So she tells him how to fix himself. He can't do it because her methods don't work for him like they work for her. She gets mad because there's no improvement from him and she doesn't know what else to try because she's exahusted all the options that Make Sense and Will Help Him and her way of doing things is right so he must be doing something wrong or not trying at all. He starts to withdraw from her because Percy doesn't really instigate fights and he's angry and unhealthy and doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend, and she gets mad because that's not how this is supposed to work, and they argue and the cycle just continues over and over and over again unti he's gone.

Personally I can write Percy disappearing in a bunch of ways. He fakes it until he realizes he can't make it and no one notices. He fakes it and people notice but they can't get him to open up about it. He suffers obviously but no one knows how to help him and he refuses to communicate. It will always culimaniate in him turning to isolation, turning to self-harm, turning to suicide, turning to whispering Carter's name like a desperate lifeline because if he kills himself Grover might die and his mom might be sad (he doesn't know, Estelle is there and she's good and she's normal and it's fine, his mom doesn't really need him, does she?) and Annabeth would probably be mad at him.

And if he calls out for Carter and he doesn't come or he doesn't care, well, then at least he can say he tried getting help, right? He didn't give up right away. He tried.

(Carter will always come and always offer the Nome as sanctuary and Percy will always accept it, even if he freaks the fuck out when they get there)