#the same time can’t remember what it’s called but he has 2nd billing and that’s what matters

[daincrediblegg]

How long until you track down The Newsreader and fall for a fully different kind of pathetic wet mess of a man also played by Sam Reid?

Oh my dear Mr. Variety Hour I’m way ahead of ya literally it’s next on my list as we trounce through Sam Reid’s career backlog. And if he’s wet and pathetic in a whole new sort of way both I and @prismatica-the-strange will be VERY pleased. Cannot wait oh now you have me excited.

[c-40]

A-T-4 157 LL Cool J I Need A Beat

There's a lot of misinformation around Def Jam's early singles. On T La Rock's wikipedia page it states his and Jazzy Jay's single was the first to display the Def Jam Recordings logo, it wasn't that was the "Hose EP" which had a large logo on one of the sides like the later singles. The initial release of "It's Yours" didn't carry the Def Jam logo at all the 2nd press did and it also had the tone arm illustration (designed by the partner of Hose singer under Rick Rubin’s direction), I've read many journalists erroneously repeat this claim. The laziest journalist will even state Russell Simmons was around when "It's Yours" came out but Russell Simmons and Rick Rubin met as a consequence of Rick Rubin making “It’s Yours”. When LL Cool J sent Def Jam his demo tape Simmons had no idea who Rick Rubin was. There's a documentary show on the BBC in the UK at the moment called The Battle For Black Music it's an important and interesting subject but it could have been presented so much better. In the preview of the second episode the end of the first (aired last Saturday) it gives Motown and Def Jam as examples of black owned record companies. Motown, yes! Def Jam, only if you change the race of Rick Rubin! In the book Def Jam Recordings: The First 25 Years of the Last Great Record (Bill Adler, Dan Charnas, 2011) Russell Simmons is clear "Rick created the label in 1982. That was his." in 1984 Simmons was in negotiations with EMI to set up Rush Records

There is also misinformation from the people who were around at the time. It's a long time ago now and people and people can misremember some of the details, Russell Simmons has a knack for this but he admits he was “smoking a lot of dust at the time.” The story about the creation of the first Def Jam maroon single as told by Rubin, Simmons, Horovitz, LL, the original Cut Creator, and T La Rock is all pretty consistent. Jazzy Jay on the other hand remembers things differently. He feels slighted because he thought Def Jam was going to be Rick and his thing. Rick Rubin often plays up his idea to put the DJ front and center on these records like what heard live in clubs (as opposed to the disco rap coming out on record, although by this time hip hop was already shifting towards the striped down drum machine sound that would dominate the next few years.) I don't think Jazzy Jay is interviewed for the book I mention above but there's an insightful but bitter interview with Jay Quan in which he talks about the early days of the label. Auction houses have gone mad for hip hop history. In March Jazzy Jay put up his TR 808 for sale at Sotherby's the description is full of inaccuracies, it's kind of wild. The most basic error is he says the second maroon single (cat number DJ002) is his single "Def Jam / Cold Chillin' In The Spot" when it's not, you don’t have to be an expert to know that. In the Jay Quan interview Jazzy Jay says Rick Rubin bought copies of Jay's drum machines and he taught Rubin how to programme his 808 (which I believe actually belonged to Adam Horovitz). The way T La Rock remembers "It's Yours" is "all I know is I saw what Rick Rubin did in his dorm room. Jazzy Jay tried to say the same thing and I couldn’t vouch for him. Unless I saw it, I can’t vouch for it. The only one I saw with the drum machine was Rick Rubin. I didn’t see Jazzy Jay programming any beats. That’s not to say he didn’t, but when I was there I didn’t see Jazzy Jay program any beats." - Unkut

I'll try and unpack the various stories about making LL Cool J's "I Need A Beat"

LL Cool J's "I Need A Beat" is the first of Def Jam's maroon singles. Russell Simmons puts $2,100 in to getting it released. It's the first of a small amount of records Def Jam put out independently

'Russell “Rush” Simmons had been an important figure on the rap music scene for a full five years. His Rush Productions was already managing Kurtis Blow when Kurt recorded “Christmas Rappin’” for Mercury Records in the fall of 1979. During the next several years, Rush’s roster expanded to include Jimmy Spicer, Whodini, Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde, Run-DMC and others.' - Def Jam 30 at Cornell University

In 1984 the hip hop mogul Simmons was organising the first hip hop showcase to tour the US. Fresh Fest featured Rush Productions artist and the Fat Boys who were produced by Kurtis Blow

Rick Rubin describes meeting Russell Simmons for the first time:“Russell and I met at a party for a TV show called "Graffiti Rock." It was a pilot episode and Run DMC appeared on it and the Treacherous 3 appeared on it and it was in a loft somewhere on the West Side in the teens. But I remember being really excited when I met him because, as a fan of hip-hop, he had already — you know his name on a lot of the rap records that already came out — Kurtis Blow, Run DMC — so I was excited to meet him. And when I met Russell he, it turns out that "It's Yours" was his favorite record, which was a surprise to me. And he was really surprised when he met me because it was, because he didn't picture me as I was, based on what the record sounded like.” - Def Jam Recordings: The First 25 Years of the Last Great Record (Bill Adler, Dan Charnas, 2011)

Graffiti Rock aired live at the end of June 1984

Russell Simmons memory of his first meeting with Rick Rubin is different: "I heard T La Rock’s “It’s Yours” [produced by Rubin] on the radio: I had a lot of records on the radio that I produced, but I didn’t know that record and it was the best. So I called up Fred “Red Alert” Cruse who hosted a pioneering rap radio show in New York. Red Alert gave me his cousin, Jazzy Jay, who gave me Rick Rubin. I met Rick at [legendary 80s New York club] Danceteria." - same as above

Jazzy Jay's recollection fits with Simmons: 'I introduced Rick to Russell at the Danceteria and Rick was like, “Oh Russell’s so cool.” At that time I didn’t see the writing on the wall, that he was getting ready to step over me and make Russell his partner." - Jazzy Jay interviewed by Jay Quan

Before this introduction happens LL sends Rubin a demo tape labeled Ladies Love Cool James. "The lad was 16 years old in the spring of 1984 when he sent a demo to Rick Rubin, whose Def Jam label was then enjoying a local hit with “It’s Yours.” Rick never spent much time listening to the tapes coming in over the transom, but the Beastie Boys’s Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz—who hung out a lot in Rick’s NYU dorm room in those days—plucked LL’s demo out of a box, dug it, and played it for Rick. Rick agreed it was great" - Def Jam 30 at Cornell University

Going into the studio

T La Rock begins asking where the money from record sales for "It's Yours" was. T La Rock sounds like a straight up guy he says he an Rubin didn't fall out they had a disagreement and the upshot is he signs with Sleeping Bag/Fresh Records. Jazzy Jay tells it this way “Well LL was a replacement for T La Rock… So Rick came to me like, “I’m thinking about replacing T La Rock cause he’s a pain in the neck and I don’t think he wants to record with us anymore.” I was like, “Let me talk to T.” Rick was like, “Nah, I want you to listen to this guy.” That’s how they got that scene in Krush Groove. LL came in, he put on the music and “Har-Rar-RARRR!” (imitates LL peeling paint off the walls). I was like, “Yo, let’s record him! We’ll deal with T La Rock later.”" There's never been bad blood between T La Rock and LL, they have both been vocal about the mutual respect they have for each other. Jay continues "So Rick [and] LL started doing some beats and I came in and did most of the scratching, all of the arrangements and some of the mixes." According to everyone else involved, including the writing credit on the single, the the story goes like this '"Ad rock actually made the beat on my first song 'I Need A Beat'," LL recalled. "Rick Produced it, but Ad Rock programmed the drum machine.""LL went on to say that before Ad Rock's version that he himself programmed the beat on a Korg drum machine. "It was similar, but Adam's was definitely better."' - LL Cool J Rock The Bells

They went into the studio with LL Cool J in September 1984. The scratching was actually done by the original Cut Creator Philly Phil. The original Cut Creator is only on the "I Need A Beat" and "Dangerous" singles for Def Jam. They kept the name but it's probably Jazzy Jay on LL Cool J's debut album Radio and DJ Bobcat was brought in as a second DJ on LL's second album Bigger And Deffer. Cut Creator: "The day “I Need a Beat” was recorded I got a call from LL. He asked me to meet him at NYU because he wanted me on a record with him. I said bullshit but went anyway. I met up with him and we went to Rick Rubin’s dorm room. Chubby Jewish dude who wants to make a rap record? Whatever, I’ll play along...

"Rick Rubin allowed me a free hand in that direction and I just followed the flow of the rhyme and rhythm." - Cut Creator talking to Rob Swift

"I Need A Beat" is the first time engineer Jay Burnett (as Burzootie) is in the studio with a Def Jam artist. Burnett has engineered many records I've shared on this blog over the past two years

LL Cool J: "As soon as we finished the demo, me and Rick played it for Russell. I remember sitting on a pillow because Russell didn’t have chairs in his office at 1133 Broadway. Russell looked at me then asked Rick, "Who’s this guy smilin’ at?" He was smiling, too. Until then, I’d never heard of him. All I knew was that he was behind that desk and had something to do with my dream." - Def Jam Recordings: The First 25 Years of the Last Great Record (Bill Adler, Dan Charnas, 2011)

Rick Rubin: "I brought it to Russell and said, "I just finished this record. What should I do with it?" He said, "It’s great. It’s a hit. Let’s give it to Profile." I said, "All you’ve done since we’ve been friends is complain to me about Profile—you hate ’em, you don’t trust ’em, you have to do all the work because they don’t do any, they steal from you, they don’t pay you. Why would we give it to them?" He said, "Well, there are so few options." I said, "Why don’t we just do it ourselves?" He said, "I don’t wanna do that because I’m gonna start a real label." He talked about Robert Ford because Robert Ford was his mentor, and he had an imprint deal with Mercury Records. That was the path Russell wanted to go. I said, "This won’t get in the way of that. This is separate. Let’s do a little independent company. I’ll make all the records. I’ll do all the work. I’ll do everything. You just be my partner."" - as above

Russell Simmons: "I was getting a deal from Steve Ralbovsky at EMI. It was gonna be Rush Records. Then along comes Rick. I gave him some money: $2,100. The label put out LL’s first record, "I Need a Beat." It started selling before people even heard it because the core community that bought the cool records saw the Def Jam label—and "It’s Yours" was on Def Jam." - as above

Simmons has continually stated Def Jam for him was about the music not the money (I know!). He partnered up with Rick Rubin because of his talent as a producer. Run-DMC had started the stripped down drum machine sound with "Sucker Dj's" the year before and Simmons saw how Rubin ran with that. On the maroon Def Jam singles it says Reduced by Rick Rubin as apposed to Produced because they were looking for a minimal, hard, raw sound

"I Need A Beat" was released in November 1984. The single sold more than 100,000 copies and established LL Cool J in the rap industry. The success if "I Need A Beat" no doubt helped secure a distribution deal with Columbia. There Def Jam independently put out seven singles in maroon sleeves, the last being "It's The Beat" by Hollis Crew (The Afros) in 1985. After these Def Jam has a distribution deal with Columbia and the sleeves become black

Here's a final exert from how Jazzy Jay retells the beginning “All of this time [Rick] was in negotiations with Russell to get the first deal that they had got from Columbia for the million. The only thing Rick was telling me was, “We might have something in the making.” We, we, we. He was speaking French at the time, then as soon as the deal started going through he started clearing his throat: Meee! Me-Me-Me-Meee! (laughs) Russell had Kurtis Blow on Mercury, and Whodini on Jive, so Russell’s got a track record [but] at that time they wasn’t gonna give me [or] Russell no million dollars. I ain’t gotta tell you how this industry works, but you know if you ain’t got the right color sometimes you ain’t gonna get that green and that’s definitely the way it was [then]. Rick, because his father was corporate head of Kinney Shoe Corporation or one of them big corporations, he had connections and that was all they needed to give them that type of money. Meanwhile I was in the studio with the LL album.” - Jazzy Jay interviewed by Jay Quan

[terrainofheartfelt]

i need your brilliant mind to cheer me up (if you have time and/or want) and give me your best canon show ending with dan-wasnt-gossip-girl but dair are actually final endgame afterward headcanons

Oh dear friend I would be happy to share. I’m sort of robbing peter to pay paul with these because I do have a fic idea that I want to plug these into eventually but I am absolutely happy to share them now 🤍🤍🤍

Okay so post canon, but Dan isn’t GG are the rules yes? So let’s see what I can do. Cheering up is the endgame I promise but ya can’t reckon with the canon omelet without breaking some angst eggs.

Also this will be pushing my personal agendas of musicians!Humphreys and dilf!Dan — and bi!Dan but that’s like, canon to me, so.

Like most dair writers out there, I think derena implode on their own shortly after the wedding. Dan Humphrey may be a born liar, but just because he’s good at it doesn’t mean he likes it. He hates feeling like he’s living a lie. It was easier somehow, when the wedding was upcoming, to lose himself in the story Serena was trying to tell, and it was a good one. But in the After, when the dust settles, he feels…hollow. Lying makes him hollow, and acting like she’s the settle-down-and-marry kind makes Serena hollow, too.

He ends it, but she leaves first, hopping off to parts unknown with Carter Baizen on her arm.

Dan goes to London, and crashes on his sister’s couch because he’s trying to break his own habits of relapse (asking Serena to take him back, falling into bed with Georgina). Jenny screens his calls and gives him something to do: write songs with her. (They both say that it’s not and never will be their day jobs, but Jenny’s always written the same way their mom has always written, because it’s good for her mental health and good mental health focuses what she calls her “real art.” During one of the mini-breakups between Blair’s 2nd wedding and his own, Rufus got Dan work as a studio session musician to pay the bills (play in the accompanying band, etc.) He’s good and reliable on keys and guitar, and something about playing what other people write helps him get out of his blocks.

He gives what help he can, including throwing her some stuff that was languishing in his old journals that hadn’t seen the light of day, and Jen, in between freelancing lines, puts out a respectable EP, and convinces him (he calls it bullying) to write more with her.

Blair meanwhile, cuts Dan out and off, his annulment makes it easy. She wasn’t sure, in the run up to the wedding, if she could stand him being married to her best friend, she was convinced that the more they were in each other’s presence, the more she was in danger of falling off the precipice of her marriage. So when Serena calls her from Antigua, all Blair feels is relief.

But relief fades, and she misses her friend. Both of them, but it’s more often than not Dan she’s looking for when she needs to make eye contact at yet another ridiculous thing said at whatever event of the week she’s at. It���s Dan she wants to talk to about the last movie she saw that didn’t begin with a lamp jumping on the letter “I.” It’s Dan she wants to ask for advice when she’s drowning at Waldorf Designs because she can’t keep up.

She’s on a ledge, all the time, and when she finally has to say something about work to Chuck he says quit. So they can have another baby. (obviously chip is deep dark and manipulative and there’s way more shit going on but this is supposed to be cheery so we’ll just leave it at that for now)

It’s then that she starts to think about leaving, really leaving.

She’d thought that if she ever did, Dan would be there, but he’s even less of an option now than when he was Serena’s. Because even if he wanted her now, Serena would always blame Blair for her marriage falling apart. But Dan isn’t around, the last she remembers hearing about him is that he was dating some Canadian indie musician. Blair thinks she may have been the only one genuinely unsurprised at the fact that said musician was a guy.

Dan’s not there, but Nate is.

She and Henry become Nate’s roommates, in the small UWS apartment Nate rents, not the red herring of a hotel penthouse that keeps the Spectator bloodhounds off his heels. Nate gives her a safe place to be once the papers are served, and they take inspiration from each other. He from her for cutting Chuck out of her life for good this time, and her from him, for going back to school and finishing. She hands in her resignation to Waldorf Designs and Nate blocks every form of contact he and Chuck have.

Blair does her best on her own, with Nate and Dorota’s help (and Cyrus’ legal help), but it’s still hard, to keep up with classes at NYU and her toddler, and one day she gets home to see Jenny in her apartment.

Jenny and Nate are pals, and Jen’s in the city because when Blair left her position, Eleanor put up the metaphorical bat signal, and since her capsule collection was so well-received—and still coveted by fashionistas—Jen was offered an interim position.

Jenny and Henry get along pretty well, actually, and Jenny is self-actualized enough not to hold his parentage against him, and not to hold too much of Blair’s past against her, though she suspects it’s only out of respect for Nate.

They clear the air one night, while Dorota has Henry, on Nate’s balcony, passing a joint between them.

“I told myself I wouldn’t say anything until you ask about him,” Jenny says. “But you never do.”

“Maybe I’m afraid of the answer,” Blair replies. She knows Dan and Nate are close friends, but she hasn’t asked him anything either, for the same reason, Nate can see right through her, and she wasn’t ready for that.

After that, Blair finds through thorough browsing Jenny’s social media that Dan moved to an apartment in Chelsea, that he evidently seems to share with Jenny now she’s in the city, that he plays music, that he appears in a lot of the covers Jenny shares online, and that they have an album slated for release in a few weeks.

She finds a performance of Jenny on a late night talk show, and she watches, because Dan isn’t in the thumbnail so she thinks it’s safe. It’s pretty good actually.

Life goes on. Blair’s divorce is finalized. At Cyrus’ and Nate’s advice, she holds nothing back in her depositions, and as such gets full custody of her son. The relief is so palpable Blair locks herself in a bathroom in the courthouse and cries.

Jenny continues to hang around at her pal Nate’s apartment, but it’s kind of…okay? She’ll crash in at the end of the day with takeout, interrupting Nate and Blair reading for classes, she’ll joke with Nate and Henry and pick Blair’s brain for advice on Waldorf Designs.

One night after Henry’s asleep and she’s had just enough red wine to make her brave, she tries watching one of Dan’s performances posted to Jenny’s feed. It’s a cover of “Chelsea Morning” and it makes Blair smile because she has memories of him singing Joni Mitchell in the loft, and one day while they were together the weather was dreary and neither of them felt like going anywhere and he pulled an LP off the shelf and declared it a “Blue Day” and they lay on the rug and listened to the whole album. And it’s…that thing of when you hear the voice of someone you cherish for the first time in a long while and it hits you how much you miss it in your everyday? It’s that.

But she can’t keep living in the past, she has to get Henry enroled in preschool and herself enrolled in her last year of college plus figure out just what she wants to do with her life.

One day Jenny calls her. “Okay so you know I hate asking for favors from you but if you were to ask, well, anyone, they would say that you probably own me a billion.”

So, Blair goes. Jenny and her work is being photographed for a feature in Vogue, and her coordinator backed out, and there’s actually not that many people in this world that Jenny trusts with her vision, but Blair is (begrudgingly) one of them.

So, Blair steps in, interfacing with the photographer, and the Vogue team, which is headed up by … *drumroll* Epperly Lawrence!

Epperly casually mentions at the end of the day that she’s glad Blair is back in this line of work, because she was always good at it. And that gets Blair thinking…

Nate cheerfully accuses Dan of never coming around anymore, but Nate knows damn well the reason why.

Not that he resents Nate for being there for Blair, maybe he resents that he couldn’t be.

He’s still writing, but prose is slow going. Songwriting though…He likes cowriting with Jen. She’s never precious with him, will tell him when something doesn’t work so that shen she says something is good, he believes her. They have to hold Rufus at arm’s length to curb his enthusiasm, because neither of them expect it to last, this music thing, but they have to see it through. But, with Rufus’ permission, he takes some of his dad’s half-finished songs and completes them, and the end up on the record. The record is a hodge podge really, of Jenny’s writing and his writing and Rufus’ all it coming together in something that actually resembles a record. It’s helpful, having a place to put words that he wasn’t able to get out in another medium. Jenny reads his lyrics, and he knows just by the sideways glance she gives that she knows who they’re about, but doesn’t say anything.

They’ve worked together. Jenny told him because she isn’t precious with him, but she also seems like she’s waiting for him to ask. He can’t let himself.

The record comes out eventually, and it’s good. It feels good to have something collaborative, it’s much harder to hate it after it comes out, unlike the books with only his name on the cover.

They’ve been gigging in the city, half of their stuff, half covers, and that plus the album plus their name recognition (plus his connections from working for a studio for so many years, Jenny tries to tell him) gets them an offer to play as an opener on a similar sounding acts tour.

Dan’s always thought he wouldn’t be the type. Rufus’ over-romanticized stories have kind of put him off, but he can tell Jen wants to do it. She’s felt too chained to Waldorf Designs as of late and is chomping at the bit for an artistic palate cleanser. And it’s not like there is anything keeping him here in New York.

At Epperly’s encouragement, Blair starts putting herself out there professionally again, applying everywhere, because she’s not that attached to New York, there’s little to keep her here. And, miraculously enough, she gets an offer from Vogue Paris. It’s a demotion anyway you look at it compared to her last job, but it’s earned. And hers. She can move to Paris, Henry can grow up bilingual and in a city where he isn’t Chuck Bass’ son. (Bass Industries goes under after the divorce. Apparently the financial strain and bad press was too much for him to take).

She starts putting the plans in motion, and Nate starts making some of his own. With Dan’s help, he’s been applying to graduate programs for social work, “And while I hate the idea of even more school, I really want to do this.” And before that, he’s taking the post graduation sailing trip of his dreams. Blair worries, the way she always does, that Henry’s gotten too used to having Nate around, that she’s gotten to used to having him around. But it’s time for her to move on. “If you ever need me,” Nate promises, “I’m there.”

During her last week in NYC, Nate persuades her to let Dorota take Henry for the night and come out with him to the show Jenny’s playing before she leaves on tour. She’d given Eleanor her notice with a long list of vetted replacements, but Eleanor still bemoans her misfortune to Blair over the phone. Blair had only nodded along, half listening while coloring with Henry. Waldorf Designs is not her ship to save anymore.

So they go. It’s a retrospective sort of thing, with Lincoln Hawk as one of its main centerpieces. She spots Lily in the crowd, because of course those two couldn’t stay away from each other very long. And, during the set, both Dan and Jenny come onstage.

It’s something to watch. The Dan she knows is never comfortable in the spotlight, he shifts away from it, or tries to reflect it back onto someone else. On stage, behind the mic and a guitar in his hands, it’s like he wraps the music around himself. It’s not about him, it’s about the story.

Nate takes them to the stage door after the show, and he and Jenny disappear into the night shortly after, which means Blair is left to her own devices, and so is Dan.

“Walk me home?” she asks, suddenly shy.

He says yes.

She loses count of how many blocks, but they walk the whole way, from the club on the Lower East Side, to her old penthouse that she’s helping her mom close up and prepare to sell before leaving for France.

They take their time, going slowly, and talking about…everything.

Henry is the first thing he asks about, and they go from there.

She talks about her new job, and he talks about his musical moonlighting. They touch on their respective divorces, but they’re both on the other side of it now.

Eventually though, they get to her door. And because she has nothing to lose and everything to gain, she kisses him, and all those years, all that time between the last just falls away.

“So, Dan, are you coming upstairs, or what?”

“Blair,” he sighs, “I’m going on tour tomorrow.”

“I’m moving to France in three days!”

He laughs, and when she grabs his hand and leads him forward, he follows.

The next few months go by, Dan tours, Blair settles in to her new job and helps Henry settle into his new life in Paris. He loves his new school, and the language he picks up quickly in the way only small kids can.

Dan sends her postcards from every stop, the constraints of the format keep him from saying too much too fast. He sometimes shares stories from the road, like when in Nashville, he breaks a string midsong during an acoustic set and drops out completely from laughing too hard, leaving Jenny on her own and causing her to go “What the fuck, dude?” as soon as she finishes. Sometimes he doesn’t talk about the tour at all, writing about the years they were strangers to each other.

Blair pressures Nate into getting an email address so she can send him replies. They go on like that, his card and her emails, until he wraps the tour back in NYC.

A few weeks after his last postcard, Blair is out on her favorite weekly ritual, her Thursday lunchtime visit to Musee D’Orsay. She’s been systematically showing Henry all of her favorite places, but with him in kindergarten, this midday trip is something she sets aside just for her.

She can trace the path to her favorite gallery on autopilot now, but when she gets there, someone is already standing in front of the painting, blocking most of Manet’s work from her view.

She would know him anywhere, even with his back turned. She knows him from the set of his shoulders and the curl of his hair, and the stillness of his figure, like he was part of the art himself.

He perks up at the sound of her heels clicking on the marble floor, walking into the rest of her life. And when he turns to look over his shoulder, oh, she cannot stop her smile.

Dan gets his own place in Paris at first, a tiny studio walkup in the 6th. “Left bank,” Blair snorts, “figures.” He wanted to give Henry time to actually get to know him, since he was a baby when Dan last knew him, but Dan is still around all the time, cooking meals, accompanying the Waldorfs on Blair’s trips to show Henry her Paris, which becomes showing Henry and Dan her Paris. He sublets the tiny studio after 3 months. They’d waited enough.

They get married at Harold and Roman’s vineyard in the summer. It’s small, quiet. Lily and Rufus fly in and rent a property a few kilometers away for the weekend, Eleanor and Cyrus plan to drive up from Paris on the day, and Nate and Jenny tumble in a few days prior from their respective landing places—Nate from Berkeley, Jenny from Tokyo.

Dan and Nate and Roman lead Henry in kicking a football around on the grounds, and the quiet, ever-present guilt she can’t help but have—that she’s kept her son from having a father—fizzles and fades away. Because Henry has Dan, and hope balloons in Blair’s chest that her son isn’t destined to be broken and break others in return. She’s relieved, so relieved that she’s…nauseous?

Jenny’s the one that finds her slumped on the floor of her father’s tastefully decorated guest bathroom. Maybe it’s some remnant of feminine solidarity, or that they’ll legally be family in less than 24 hours, or maybe after all this time Jenny Humphrey really is her friend, because Jen slips out and to the city and back on a crucial errand.

Blair toys with the idea of waiting until tomorrow, to make it “special,” but it already is, special. So before he goes to stay the night in the carriage house (because Daniel Humphrey had to have some kind of tradition for his wedding), she tells him she’s pregnant. And tells him that she wanted to tell him now, when they’re like this, because she loves him like this and tomorrow isn’t going to make them more of a family than they already are, or change how happy she is about this now.

He so cries.

On the next day, after they sign the marriage license, Dan signs the adoption papers that make Henry his. Though if you were to ask, Dan would say it’s him that belongs to Henry.

They don’t say anything about the pregnancy ntil a few weeks later, but Jenny catches Dan sipping on Blair’s champagne all night with raised eyebrows.

Serena doesn’t come, but she calls while Blair is getting ready, and three months later, she sends the most expensive and designer baby basket money can buy.

Apart from his absolutely terrible French, Dan takes to his life as Parisian house husband very well. He calls it his Julia Child, Alice Toklas phase. Blair still sometimes has to remind herself that she doesn’t need to guard Henry so jealously anymore, that Dan’s here for him as much as he is for her.

Many a time, though, Henry will be telling him a story and get so excited that he goes too fast and forgets what language he’s speaking, and Dan will have to stop him and say “Henry, honey, en Anglais, please.”

“Does it bother you?” Dan asks after Lizzie Waldorf-Humphrey is born, “That she can’t run for president?”

“Nah,” Blair says sleepily, “She’s a Supreme Court justice all the way.”

One day when Blair’s organizing her home office, she stumbles across their high school senior yearbook. She ignores most pages, too many of them with the potential to hurt, but sends a picture to Serena of the page of the two of them, which Serena hearts immediately.

She pads down the hall and into Dan’s office, the door open so he can keep one eye in Henry in the living room, Lizzie asleep on the sofa.

“So this was your plan all along?” she asks as she saunters in. “The American writer in Paris?”

It takes him a minute to come out of his head and back to her, but he always comes back. He blinks at the book in her hands for a moment until his eyes light up in recognition, the rest of his face lighting up with a laugh.

He reaches out a hand, tugging her to him. “This,” he says, in that heart-stirringly sincere way only he gets, “is so beyond what I ever could have planned.”

She slips onto his lap, and he holds her close, the both of them knowing this quiet will only last so long, and then Lizzie will wake up and Henry will barrel in with a question and a follow up and the cat is somewhere in the house about to knock something over. Never completely peaceful nor perfect but wholly, entirely worth it.

[theclockworkmonk]

Out of the Mouths of Babes - Chapter 1

Read on AO3 here

Prompt:  “Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.

Ron was still huffing grumpily as he stepped forward and pushed the door of their flat open for Hermione, so she wouldn’t have to adjust Teddy in her arms. His gracious show of chivalry clashed hilariously with the sour look on his face.

“Honestly, Ron,” Hermione laughed, shaking her head at him, “One would really assume you’d be used to it by now.”

“I have gotten used to it!” he said defensively. “I keep getting used to it, over and over, but then they just keep getting worse! If you want to snog your girlfriend, snog your girlfriend, if you want to talk with your best mate, talk with your best mate, but it’s downright rude to try to do both at the same time. But was there a single moment today where they weren’t draped all over each other? No! I don’t even want to think about what their hands might have been doing under the table. I mean, shit… ”

“Ron!” Hermioned hissed harshly, quickly covering Teddy’s ears.

But it was too late. “What’s shit?” the three-year-old asked innocently. Hermione shot Ron a murderous glare.

“I’ve told you Ron, for once in your life, watch what comes out of your mouth! Teddy is at a stage in his development where he’s very observant and curious.”

“What’s curious?” asked Teddy.

“That just means you’re growing up to be the most clever boy in the world!” Hermione told the toddler sweetly. She lifted up his shirt and blew him a raspberry, causing him to erupt into giggles. She put him down and he ran off to sit on the sitting room rug and start playing with the toys they had brought out before taking him today.

Ron was still grumpy as he plopped down on the sofa and watched Teddy absentmindedly. In hindsight, Hermione saw that she should have given him some time to cool off between ending their double lunch date with Harry and Ginny and picking Teddy up from Andromeda, to give her a night off to spend with other adults unencumbered. But if they had delayed at all, Harry would have jumped at the chance and taken Teddy himself. He was always using his role of godfather to indulge his martyr complex, but Hermione had steadfastly reminded him that Ginny was off for the first time in weeks after the intense conclusion to the Quidditch season, and she deserved to have her boyfriend all to herself.

Hermione sighed as she sat next to her fiancé on the sofa, leaning her head against his shoulder. “You have to remember, Ron, that Harry is still learning how physical affection works. He grew up without anyone ever touching him except to control him or hurt him. It’s called being touch-starved, it’s a real phenomenon in psychology. It’s understandable if he over-corrects in the other direction and doesn’t understand that public displays of affection come with boundaries.

She turned her head to look at him kindly, but found him giving her a deadpan frown.

“Seriously, Hermione? Not everything is related to something you read in a book once but somehow remember years later. This has nothing to do with Harry’s Tragic Backstory, they get more and more handsy because they know that it drives me up the wall, they’re just fucking with me.”

“What’s fucking?” asked Teddy.

“Sorr— Ow!” Ron helped as Hermione elbowed him hard in the side.

“Behave yourself,” she told him. “And don’t sell Harry short, that is not why he does it.”

She settled back into leaning against him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“....That is absolutely why Ginny does it, though,” she added, making Ron snort with laughter.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, content to just watch Teddy play with small smiles on their faces.

“Thanks for volunteering us to take him,” Ron said softly into Hermione’s ear. “Having him around, this time of the year….it helps.”

Hermione nodded somberly. “I know what you mean.” The next day was May 2nd. Three years to the day since the Battle of Hogwarts.

Hermione sniffed as she felt all-too familiar tears threatening to break free again. “Being around someone so young, someone who won’t ever remember how bad things had gotten, who would only know the new world we fought for. It reminds us that none of them died in vain.”

“Yeah,” Ron agreed quietly. “I think the rest of the family feels the same way, they always get super clingy with Vic this time of the year. Me too, I’ll admit.”

“Oh yes, I’ve definitely noticed that,” Hermione nodded. “Even more so than with Teddy, since she’s a Weasley. She represents your family’s survival and healing, I suppose.”

Hermione chuckled at something she remembered. “The worst of them all is your mother. She’s really been cranking the doting up for Victoire, and between you and me, it’s driving Fleur absolutely mad.”

Ron sat up a bit to face her, smiling mischievously at the gossip. “Oh yeah?”

Hermione nodded and smiled back. “She won’t say anything until she figures out a way to phrase it passive-aggressively instead of bluntly, but Fleur is clearly feeling smothered by the pressure of being the mother of the only grandchild.”

Ron’s smile faltered a bit, and the same grumpy mood he had when they returned home seemed to return.

“Well, she probably shouldn’t worry,” he grumbled. “If my best mate and my sister keep being as insufferable as they are, it’s only a matter of time before Harry’s knocking Ginny up—”

“Ron!” Hermione growled angrily, shooting Teddy a sideways glance, but fortunately he seemed too busy playing with his toy dragons. She breathed a sigh of relief, then started giggling.

“What on Earth makes you assume that?” she asked him incredulously.

“Hermione, if they can’t control themselves in the middle of a sodding café, what makes you think they can when alone in their flat?”

Hermione snuggled back up to him, pouting her lip playfully. “Well if that’s the case, why them and not us? I’d like to think that we’re similarly…. out of control at times…” she slowly brought a hand to rub up his thigh. Then, suddenly, her eyes narrowed dangerously, she stood up, and put her hands on her hips.

“Unless you’re saying that you’re just not as attracted to me as Harry is to Ginny?”

Ron just raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. “You’re trying to trap me because you think I’m adorable when I’m nervous, but you have to be less transparent than that, love.”

“Shoot, it was worth a try,” laughed Hermione, sitting back down.

“You know that I meant that you would never allow that to happen,” pulling her close again. “You can’t even make noncommittal plans for drinks in a pub without triple-checking your schedule and giving it a color-coded entry in your planner, there’s no way you’d ever let something as important as…. that just slip your mind. But you know how reckless those two are, is it really hard to believe they would neglect the Contraception Charm once?”

Hermione bit her lip thoughtfully. “No, I really don’t think so. There are some things that Harry and Ginny do take seriously, one of them is family, they wouldn’t be blasé about it. And don’t be so disgustingly modest,” she said, lightly swatting his leg. “I am not always meticulous, you know damn well you’re capable of turning me into a scatterbrained piece of goo.”

She wasn’t looking at him, but she could feel Ron grinning proudly at that.

“Oh yeah?” he murmured in her ear, and Hermione felt goosebumps erupt on her neck. He pulled her closer and Hermione felt herself blush scarlet as he whispered all sorts of things he planned to do to her to prove her right.

“What’s knickers?” asked Teddy, who apparently had very good hearing. Hermione blushed harder than ever as she elbowed her fiancé again.

It was after dark when Ron and Hermione finally stepped through the fireplace of the Burrow. They could hear the large, loud gathering in the kitchen before they saw it. They found Andromeda talking and laughing happily in the kitchen with Molly, Arthur, Bill, Fleur, George, and Charlie, all drinking either tea, firewhiskey, or some combination of both. But as pleasant as the evening had been, she still beamed when she saw her grandson running towards her.

“He wasn’t too much trouble, was he?” she asked apologetically as she scooped the toddler into her lap.

“He was a delight!” said Hermione cheerfully.

“Yeah, this kid stuff is easy!” said Ron dismissively. “And yes, that’s a git thing to say, feel free to saddle us with him until I regret it.”

Andromeda laughed and thanked them again. After Ron and Hermione returned home through the fireplace, Teddy rested his head on Andromeda’s shoulder. He was clearly very tired and was starting to get fussy.

“Well,” Andromeda sighed, “I guess I should get this one home. Thank you so much for having me, all of you.”

But then, Teddy spoke up in a sleepy voice.

“Grammy, what’s knocking up?”

There was a loud crash as Molly dropped the teapot onto the kitchen floor. Fleur gasped dramatically, Bill coughed and sputtered on his firewhiskey, while George just erupted into laughter.

Andromeda pulled the boy off her shoulder and looked at him sternly. “Edward Remus Lupin, where did you hear that?” she asked.

“Oh, I believe we know where” Molly growled as she flicked her wand to levitate the shrapnel on the floor and started to reassemble it into a teapot, “I honestly don’t know where these sons of mine got such foul mouths. I have half a mind to go after Ronald and remind him that he’s not too old for me to wash his mouth out with soap. I am so sorry, Andi.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” said Andromeda. “Harry can swear just as well as any Weasley.”

She addressed Teddy again, more gently this time. “Go on, Teddy, where did you hear those words?”

“Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.

The kitchen of the Burrow had never before fallen so quickly, completely silent. The only sound was another crash as Molly dropped the teapot again.

[artemoonies]

𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 - 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙡𝙚𝙚

𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷. You always love working with any kind of animal, until one day you and your friends have to deal with the biggest company in your district you’re lived in. And then you find him.

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼. Lion Hybrid-Mark Lee x gender neutral reader (+Haechan & Jeno from NCT)

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮. Idk, fluff ig?

𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼. none.

𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓒𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽. 1,935 ; 𝓞𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓽

“𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞”

“𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞”

You went to the corner of the road where your little pet shop was, you and your friends own that little shop that you’ve worked so hard on since little. Saving money doing part-time jobs so you can build your own. You don’t remember your parents, you don’t even know if you really had one. You spent all of your life at the orphanage as long as you can remember, with all of the other 32 children and 5 caretakers. You always love animals, you don’t have one but the orphanage that you lived on had a few cats and dogs. Cause you cannot socialize much with every person in the orphanage, you spend your day by playing with a few dogs and cats.

Today, there’s no many customers coming to your store. You can’t blame them, some of the companies just release a pet-bot product, everything seems to be done by robots in this era.

“y/n you’re daydreaming again” your friend Haechan waves his hands in front of your face.

“ok, now have you checked on the order from our website?” you laugh and switch the position of haechan’s laptop to you, scrolling all of the name that you’ve already checked 3 times today with him.

“You know what, this thing kinda seems useless for me, the people who order from our website were like the same person who came to our shop but they were too lazy to get their asses up” Haechan laid his back on the counter, closing his eyes. a gesture of him that means he was tired. Haechan was your childhood friend, you guys know each other on the Orphanage with your other friend Jeno who seems like we're on the back of the shop checking out the animals we had. The three of you had agreed to build a pet shop together, you and haechan’s job was in front of the shop talking to the customer meanwhile jeno was the doctor, he took care of the practical thing.

five minutes later, jeno rushed up to the two of you with an angry look. He stops in front of you and slams the newspaper that he got this morning, making you and Haechan throw some weird looks and then peeking at the news that made Jeno so mad. The headline said “The scientist from LiU Corp released a statement: Every place that contains animals in confinement should register their name and address, we run out of space”. You look at Haechan who gives you a ‘i don't know’ look and then move to Jeno who is still looking furious with this news. You knew you guys needed to register your shop as well but you don’t think that was a big deal, you guys can take some of the animals that LiU Corp had, cause breeding animals in this era need a permission from the government so you guys don't really have that many animals in the shop.

Jeno looked at you two, expecting some reaction but all he got was a confused look from both of you. Jeno slid his hair back and exhaled hardly, like it was the bad bad news he had in every year he worked here. “You guys remember that they offered me a job 2 years ago?” “Yes, and you stupidly refuse to work at the biggest company in this district” Haechan sneer, he’s playing with his hand, doesn't really want to pay attention to anything his friend is about to say. “I didn't say the reason why I did that to you two cause I thought you guys don't have to know it” said jeno, he took a deep breath and said, “they were having an experiment, and they will use it to fight the 2nd district product on the market.” “What do you mean, why would the LiU want to compete with the 2nd district with a bunch of animals?” You keep reading the newspaper which doesn't include much information about things that jeno said to you. “They were making hybrids, inside that company..” jeno said in a low voice

A few days after that conversation, a bunch of boxes came to your shop. There’s no information about anything inside it and they really covered everything until it arrived. Haechan who noticed the box earlier today calls the rest of you, and then decides to close the shop for today. “I don’t know about this, I think we should turn it back to LiU Corp. I think they might be joking” Haechan observing the boxes up and down with an irritated face. “We should look at it first” Jeno moved forward and tried to open the box. It's actually not hard to open, cause after a few knocking the box opened itself and revealed a very terrified looking lion-hybrid.

You, Jeno, and Haechan share a look and then decide to introduce yourself to the male hybrid after a few nods. Jeno goes first, he gives the boy a little smile and then rushes to open the other box. Haechan was next he kneel in front of the cage and smile softly making you surprised by the sudden action, well you’ve seen the soft side of haechan but he rarely shows it to the others. Lastly it was you, you stepped forward, and then kneeling copying haechan’s moves who seemed to be taking a liking to the boy in front of you. “Hi, my name is y/n nice to meet you”

it’s been a week since the hybrid from LiU Corp came to your shop. You, Jeno and Haechan decide to build a few comfy rooms for the hybrid to spend their time in the shop, the three of you think it’s too cruel to just leave them in the cage for an animal. You opened the shop as usual, Haechan said he will come late for today and he said he still has more classes meanwhile Jeno will be here in 1 hour. So you decide that you’ll be doing some cleaning at the animal’s area, cause you didn’t really remember the last time you cleaned those areas. Jeno was in charge of the animal here, some of the animals here are still kinda aggressive so he doesn’t really like it if you and haechan are playing around near the cage. So you decide to just clean the hall, you don’t wanna get in trouble with Jeno who seems to be getting better from his anger toward LiU Corp.

You understand why Jeno is so mad towards them,

“I mean they still had our genes, like living in a cage? that’s bad..very bad”, you swept the floor while thinking to yourself, like how lucky you are even though you can’t even remember who your parents are. “I don’t know you like to talk to yourself like that” said someone’s in the back you turn around to find Jeno walking towards you with someone in his back, oh he was one of the hybrid’s they’ve got from LiU back then. “You know you should let me know you were here, instead of scaring me like that” you said rising you eyebrow “Actually, Mark saw you coming here by yourself and what did I say about coming here? rules are rules you know i made that so you won’t get hurt. You know every pet shop in this district doesn't only taking care of dogs and cats, what if you somehow running into a bear cage i don’t want you to be his meal” Jeno said with concern in his eyes “I'm just cleaning the hall Jeno, and please I can take care of myself” you said pointing the floor you just swept earlier. “And wait what his name is Mark?”

Jeno laughs at your question, he pushes the lion-hybrid boy to your direction, “of course, he needs some names, right? we can't call him without a name and since i gave him his name he would be Mark Lee”. The boy in front of you gives you a shy smile and then goes to jeno’s back, well he’s that type of shy guy you think. “Seriously? why would you come up with that” you laugh finding the Lee thing is funny. “Well, as long as Mark’s fine with that, and he said it’s ok” Jeno said with a proud smile.

“Now can you both get out of here, I need to work” Jeno said, pushing Mark to you once more gently and pointing the way out. You shrug and lead Mark to the exit door, he doesn’t say anything to you just following you from behind. “Hey Mark, i see you close to Jeno” you said teasingly, the boy blush and let out a little giggle while staring at the floor “Jeno is nice to us, he often checks on me and the others” he said with a low voice, it was actually the first time you actually talked to him, cause some of the hybrids usually stay in their room, or keep so much distance from you. You don’t mind that, they just got in here and you sometimes find yourself look scary when you’re stressed over work.

“Sorry, i should have checking on you guys too you know i’m actually jealous of Jeno, he got all of the action” you said exhale deeply, it was always been your dream to taking care of animals or someone who needed your help but different from Jeno who actually had a rich parent to help him with education and bills you have nothing but yourself to rely on. “You can come to our room if you want to,” Mark said with a hesitant tone, his eye still on the floor, you can tell he’s nervous by the different pitch of his voice. “Sure, but i’ll do it after i’ve done with my work” you said, “..if you ok with that, of course” you said, suddenly feeling the urge to copy the boy act amazed by the floor.

“Are you guys doing a staring contest on the floor?” Haechan said from the counter, he’s bag still hanging on his back means he just arrived. “NOO, bye Mark i’ll see you after work” you said walking towards Haechan without looking at him, ignoring the questioning look that Haechan gave to you.

“ARE YOU HAVING A DATE WITH MARK?, YO I’VE NEVER SEEN YOU SO SHY IN FRONT OF A GUY BEFORE!!” Haechan said suddenly after Mark disappear from your sight “Are you crazy?” you said with a flat expression, “i’m just hanging out with him, cause Jeno is getting all of the action. I want to get to know them too, and I think you should too” you said, raising an eyebrow at Haechan who nodded at your answer. “Right, i’ll tell Jeno that I want to have some day off so i can having a DATE with one of them” Haechan said smirking, waiting for your reaction You raise your brow, “what are you? 5? hurry up we need to finish this document or you’ll get an angry Jeno”, You ignore the defeated Haechan next to you and keep tidying your customers profile.

‘Actually he’s kinda cute’ you said to yourself

...

this was my first story that I published

I'm sorry for any kind of mistake

[snowonthebeachmp3]

February 2016

Feb 11th - Kanye debuts his song Famous at his Yeezy fashion show. It contains the infamous lyric, 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that bitch famous.' Gigi Hadid and Austin Swift are quick to express their disapproval. (x)

Feb 12th - Taylor's publicist Tree Paine releases a statement saying "Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single 'Famous' on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, "I made that bitch famous.’" (x)

Ruby Rose condemns Kanye, tweeting, 'Too many lines crossed. If I put myself in the shoes of the women he has hurt recently. Victims of Bill Cosby, the slut shaming, Amber… And now my dear friend Taylor.. Right before another huge moment for her.. Can I still support him and call myself a feminist? A friend? No.' (x)

Kanye claims on Twitter that Taylor thought the lyric was funny and that she came up with it herself. He also claimed Taylor told a mutual friend over dinner that, 'I can't be mad at Kanye because he made me famous!' (x)

Sometime in the days leading up to the Grammys - Taylor's 73 Questions with Vogue interview is filmed in LA (it is not published until April, soon after her Vogue cover is released). In the video, she says she is currently busy 'working out and getting ready for Grammys' (presumably referring to rehearsals since she was the opening performer that year). (Update: turns out the interview was filmed on the 2nd Feb.)

Some other answers she gave in this interview:

What are you completely bored of in life right now? Clickbait.

What's your favourite food? I mean, if we're just saying, like, what I wish I could eat every day if calories didn't count, is like, chicken tenders.

What's one thing you still have from your childhood? My insecurities.

What's something you've always wanted to try but you've been too scared to do? Coachella.

What advice would you give to anyone who wants to become a singer? Uh, get a good lawyer.

What's the one thing you wish you knew at nineteen? If I could talk to my nineteen-year-old self I'd just say, hey, you know, you're gonna date just like a normal twenty-something should be allowed to, but you're going to be a national lightning rod for slut-shaming.

What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn? That karma is real.

Feb 15th - Taylor attends the 58th Annual Grammy Awards in LA. She opens the televised show with a performance of Out of the Woods (x) and debuts her Anna Wintour-esque bob (x).

After her performance, she is seen crying in the audience while Selena (her plus-one for the evening) comforts her. Apparently she is upset about missing a note while performing. (x) (video)

1989 wins Album of the Year, making her the first woman to win this award twice. In her acceptance speech, she references the situation with Kanye, saying, 'I want to say to all the young women out there, there are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame.' (x)

Taylor attends the Republic Records afterparty with friends and then-boyfriend Calvin Harris, who was not there for the awards show itself. (x)

In her 2020 documentary Miss Americana, Taylor had this to say about the 2016 Grammys: (x)

My life had never been better. I had won album of the year at the Grammys for a second time, which I never thought was a possibility. And I remembered thinking afterward, oh my god, that was all you wanted. Oh god, that was all you wanted. That was all you focused on. And you get to the mountaintop and you look around and you’re like, oh god. What now? I didn’t have a partner that I climbed it with that I could, like, high five. I didn’t have anyone I could talk to who could relate to what I was – you know? I had my mom. But I just wondered, shouldn’t I have someone that I could call right now?

Feb 16th - Calvin posts a photo of Taylor accepting her AOTY Grammy to social media with the caption, 'Congratulations to my beautiful girlfriend.' (x) I cannot believe this post is still up 💀💀

Taylor goes for lunch with Scott and Andrea at Cecconi's in LA. (x)

Feb 17th - Taylor is seen out shopping in Beverly Hills. (x)

The NME Awards take place in London at the O2 Academy. Taylor wins Best International Solo Artist but is not there in person. Instead, a pre-recorded video of her accepting the award is played at the ceremony. (x) Her outfit and haircut suggest that the video was filmed on the same day as her Vogue 73 Questions interview at her LA house.

Feb 19th - Taylor announces on Twitter that New Romantics will be the next single from 1989. (x)

She is seen getting off her plane in Reading, PA (x) and visiting her childhood home. (x)

Feb 20th - Taylor is the maid of honour at her childhood best friend Britany Maack's wedding in Pennsylvania. (x) She brings Vogue reporter Jason Gay with her, and he writes about the weekend for Taylor's Vogue cover story, published in the May edition. (x)

A few excerpts from that weekend (not published until almost two months later): (x)

Swift says she is ready to lie a little low. After the wedding, she will go to New York, where she will be spotted dining with her friend Lena Dunham, and then be seen a week later in Los Angeles with her brother, Austin, and her friend Lorde at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. As for future plans . . . who knows? For the first time in years, Swift is not sure exactly what is next. She is very much OK with this.

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift?

“I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.”

//

Because I’m a hopeless cheeseball, I can’t help asking: Being part of this wedding, does it make Swift think about being married some day? For the past year, she has been seeing the Scottish DJ-producer Calvin Harris. Harris is not here with her, but in early March, he and Swift will post cutesy notices on social media—his on Snapchat; hers on Instagram—commemorating the one-year status of their relationship. Soon after, both will post photographs of an idyllic, whereabouts-unknown vacation in the tropics, with ts + aw written in the sand. (Harris’s given name is Adam Wiles.)

“I’m just taking things as they come,” Swift says. “I’m in a magical relationship right now. And of course I want it to be ours, and low-key . . . this is the one thing that’s been mine about my personal life.”

//

“I think the world is so bored with the [Kanye] saga,” she goes on. “I don’t want to add anything to it, because then there’s just more.”

Feb 21st - Taylor donates $250,000 to Kesha after she loses her lawsuit against Dr Luke and Sony. (x)

Taylor goes to New York and visits the Vogue offices. (x) She also meets Lena Dunham for dinner. (x)

Feb 22nd - Demi Lovato tweets, 'Take something to Capitol Hill or actually speak out about something and then I'll be impressed.' The tweet is widely interpreted as shading Taylor following the news of her donation. (x)

Taylor is papped arriving at and leaving Milk Studios, a photography studio in NYC. (x) I think this was when they shot her Vogue cover (she wore a wig for the cover shoot and only bleached her actual hair in April when the magazine came out).

Feb 23rd - Kanye brings up the Famous controversy while onstage at 1 OAK nightclub in LA. He claims Taylor said “Ooh Kanye, I like that line!” when he told her about the line 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex.' “Then she won her award and said something completely different! She not cool no more. She had two seconds to be cool and she fucked it up.” (x)

Feb 24th - Taylor and Jack Antonoff go for dinner at the Maia restaurant in LA. (x)

Feb 28th - Taylor attends the Vanity Fair Oscars afterparty in LA. (x) She is photographed with Lorde and Austin.

Intro // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

Price for Flight

Summary: Modern! Au! After a brief accident in bumping into him, reader and Taishiro became friends, then he left to his home country in Osaka, Japan, but not before they exchanged phone numbers and mailing addresses. Cue shared memories, laughs, and pining from an international distance from high school, to college, and after.

Notes: Guess who’s been listening to Sister Christian by NightRanger, and had the idea of international friendship/crushes with each sharing gifts, knowledge, and videos of events from each one’s respective country? Wanted to start off with a fluffy fic for Fluff November.  

Warnings in the fic: a little bit of blood in the beginning, curse words, and there will be a 2nd chapter, but it’ll have smut in it, so if you want just fluff, you can read this chapter as is.

Disclaimer: I have the Big Dumb, and so my writing is used to sculpt real life cities, countries, and traditions for pure fictional purposes. Everything isn't lined to a T with my limited knowledge.

“I’m so sorry!” You found yourself shouting out loud. It was an accident. You had a vase of reddish yellow rose buds that you’ve just recently cut within the school’s garden. Walking down the hallway to place them in your classroom’s window, you tripped. It wasn’t like you planned on tripping, who could have known that tiny rocks could do that?

What made matters worse, you tripped into somebody, spilling water and crushing rose petals onto the poor student who hastily caught you.

“Are you alright?!”

“I’m so sorry!”

Came out from the both of you at the same time. Your face was red with embarrassment, trying your best not to inwardly wail. It was the cute student from Japan, Taishiro Toyomitsu, you recalled. Although you had trouble with pronouncing his name, you tried your best to learn it out of respect.

He was pudgy, and had a Japanese accent mixed in with an odd southern accent, and all around, you couldn’t help but think that he was a little cute. Sure he was new, and your friends found him to be a little weird, but he was always nice and polite, and insisted on everybody call him “Tai-chan”. Now, you were leaning up against him, fingers bloody from the thorns cutting into you, and the both of you fussing over one another.

“You’re bleedin’!”

“There’s blood on your shirt! I’m so sorry!”

The two of you stared at each other, both embarrassed and apologetic.

“Please let me take you to the infirmary?” He broke the silence as the blood from your little cuts smeared into his uniform.

“Okay.” You gave in, tucking your hand into your shirt as you set the vase down out of the way. You’ll make sure to clean it up, later. ……

You honestly felt bad. He had a dirty and wet uniform on, because of your clumsiness. Luckily, the nurse patched up your hand, and he called his mother, speaking fluent Japanese while you stared, impressed. The nurse had the two of you wait while his mom dropped off his clothes, and she telling the janitor and teacher of what happened to you.  

“That’s super cool!” You blurted out truthfully when he was done. His face reddened a bit, as if embarrassed. Of course you knew why. Some of your classmates are jerks, and he stood out like a sitting duck, waiting to get bullied. You didn’t see him get picked on, but you knew that he was. Kids are mean, and gossip spreads.

“Ya think so?” He asked. You nodded without hesitation.

“I’m not the only one, though.” Passing the time, you told him that several students were impressed, and he shouldn’t listen to vulturous children. You were a kid, and unsure on how good your advice was, but he seemed to brighten up. It was too soon for you to leave and go to class, but you had too.

“Ya wanna hang out, after school?”

“Yeah!”

You replied quickly after his outburst, and he couldn’t help but smile sweetly, whilst you felt your heartbeat quicken. ………

      That was how the two of you had met, you remembered it so clearly, the feelings of your teenaged heart were confusing, but you wanted to find every excuse in the book to just be near him. It was a close, endearing friendship, and the two of you had taught each other a lot of things whenever you could.

Your friends began to like him, too, and the bullying lessened as the two of you were basically attached to the hip. They corrupted him, showing him memes, funny videos and such, and he would catch you off guard with outward, dirty jokes, causing the both of your ears and cheeks to flush into a dark shade of pink.  

Although, his stay in your country was only six months until the both of you graduated, the two of you had learned a lot. He taught you Japanese, and you began practicing writing it, you liking the feeling of his hand gripping yours, guiding you to write kanji. When he had to leave, your heart almost broke as you hugged him tightly, him shushing you as he promised that the two of you would share phone numbers and mailing addresses, so that you’ll always keep in touch.

Keep in touch, you did.

“Tai-chan! That’s so pretty!” You gushed. It’s been a year, since he left, and oddly enough, your feelings and thoughts did not waver as you entered your freshman year of college.

“I know, right?” He boomed, holding the phone towards him and the blooming Sakura trees underneath the Osaka castle. It was Hanami, a holiday for flower viewing, and it was so very pretty as the pink petals fluttered around within the wind. Taishiro was in his hometown, Osaka, wearing informal clothes as he popped a dumpling into his mouth as he sat on the blanket with his mom and her new husband. It was almost hard to hear him due to the crowd of people happily chattering among themselves.  

You were entranced, seeing such a vibrant and beautiful scene before your eyes as he grinned at you, smiling warmly whilst his mother waved at you, and you waved back.

“So, how do you like it?” Taishiro asked, diverting your attention, and you smiled.

“Dude, everything’s so pretty and vibrant! I wish I was there with you guys!” You admitted freely, and he grinned.

“Wish ya was here, too! Mom’ll force ya to wear a kimono, though. I got lucky ‘cause they dragged me here right after class!” He admitted.

“Formal dress isn’t so bad, Tai-chan! How’s college?” You changed the subject. He shrugged.

“Not too bad! Classes are pretty easy, I got my own apartment an’ job, now! Little small, but makes the bills easier to pay!” He spoke loud enough to drown out the crowd.

“I’ll talk to ya later, okay? Mom’s getting’ mad that I’m shoutin’.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Okay! Tell her that she looks pretty in her kimono!” You grinned. He nodded as the two of you eventually hung up. It was moments like these that made your day, you smiled to yourself, feeling your heart beating faster as you plopped down onto your comfy pillows. After graduating high school, you followed your dream in getting into college, and getting your own apartment and job. It was tough, but you made it, and as a bonus, Taishiro was pretty happy and proud for you.

  You wish that he didn’t have to leave, but his mother wanted to go back to their country after moving to yours to escape the grief of a rather nasty divorce. You can’t escape from everything, Tai had said to you, and shrugged, saying that he really didn’t care about his father, but he’d support his mother in anyway that he could.  

You felt warm at the memories, trying his mother’s cooking, tasting a different country’s cuisine had excited you, and your pleased face was evident as you slowly chewed the rice ball. Your face went red as Taishiro wiped some of the sticky rice off of your face, and when he noticed that you were staring, he’d blushed too as he wiped it on your shirt, leaving him to snort with laughter at your pathetic attempt at a glare.

Yeah, you missed him. ……..

“Happy Halloween!” You tilted the brim of your witch hat, grinning as you handed the little goblins and ghosts some candy from a bowl.

“We don’t really give out candy, but we do cosplayin’, zombie runs, n’ Disneyland has somethin’ special around this time of year.” Taishiro spoke to you from your phone, which rested neatly in your breast pocket, smiling softly at the kids who gave toothy smiles with thanks behind their masks. To your luck, he and you were always on camera when the two of you spoke, now, seeing how each other changed since last year.

To your surprise, he had two little piercings in his ear lobes, stating that he was a grown man, and that he got them as to treat himself for passing his first semester of college. He didn’t lose any weight, but he had been going to the gym, gaining muscle as he shot up about two feet in height. It didn’t help your increasing heartbeat, or confusing feelings that you thought were just a little girl’s crush in high school.    

You changed, too, and you’ve noticed that he obviously noticed, and pinned every little reaction into your brain, liking the way that you caused him that.

Right now, you had him listen to classic Halloween songs such as Monster Mash, Flying Purple People Eater, and Thriller. He knew the songs, but you liked playing them, anyway to fill in the Halloween spirit. You set the phone down on the kitchen table as the two of you talked while the music playing in the background. Although he didn’t really dress up, he admitted that he liked your costume, and might invest in something next year.

You smiled, basking in the moment. ………

“Time to open yours!” He put the chicken leg from KFC down on his plate, as he and his family gathered around his phone with you on camera, looking at the brightly colored wrapping paper. His family had adopted the more Western customs of gift wrapping and receiving during Christmas, and he was not disappointed when your gift had arrived in the mail. He had sent you one, as well, knowing that it would tickle you pink. He was right.

Although the both of you knew that Christmas Eve was the day to give and receive gifts, it was generally for couples, but you wanted to share the holiday joy with him, and find an excuse to give a gift, and although beet red, he thought that gift giving was a nice thing to do.  

   He wanted you to open yours, first, and so you did, grinning wickedly as you opened the paper slowly, drawing out the suspense on purpose.  

“Hurry up, already!” Taishiro huffed, then jumped when his mother hit him lightly with her shoe, shushing him. You couldn’t hide your smirk at the gesture, but quickened your pace at the playful glare that you were receiving.

You tore open the beautifully wrapped paper, regretting to waste it, but you were curious on what he had gotten you. Finally getting the box opened, you all but squealed with joy.

“What? This is amazing!” You winced on how loud your voice was, but his grin and his family’s warm smiles made it worth it. You pulled out the organized snacks from Japan, eyes twinkling with joy as you realized that you were smiling. Underneath the bags of konpeito, onigiri senbei rice crackers, jagariko, and among other snacks, you pulled out a very pretty snow-globe. It seemed simple, but the fake snow dancing around the dolled up log cabin and the smiling snowman, melted your heart.

“I like it! Thank you, Tai-chan!” You beamed, and he grinned sheepishly as blood rushed to his cheeks.

“I didn’ wanna get anythin’ that was too lame, ya know?”

“Nonsense! It’s very charming and thoughtful, thank you.” You grinned as you shook it gently, watching the glitter swish around the heartwarming scene.

“Alright! My turn!” He changed the subject as his eye twitched at the snickers of his step-dad. He huffed, then grinned as he all but tore open your gift, faster than your slow pace. You grinned wickedly, as to when he opened the box, it revealed another box. He gave you a look.

“Really?”

“It’s in there. Eventually.”

“Yer such a lil’ shit.”

“I know.” You admitted, him glaring at you until he had finally opened the last box, eyes twinkling as he reached inside, admiring the prize.

“Y/n…” He murmured, pulling out a crocheted scarf and hat. It took you a little longer to make them than you’d like to admit, but it was worth it as his face softened while he eyed the bright orange garb.

“I like it, too.” His eyes met yours as he felt something else within the box. You smiled.

“Oh! A new set of earrings?” He grinned, pulling up the small thick hoops, eyeing them as they shined within the light.

“Hypoallergenic, too!” You chirped, eating up his expressions as he began putting on the hat, scarf, and switching out his old jewelry for the new ones.

“Merry Christmas, Tai-chan.” You murmured, and he gave you that infamous toothy, sweet smile of his.

“You too, Y/n.”

………….

“See? It’s not so bad!” You giggled, holding the phone up high.

“Yer a devil, ya know that?” You could hear him grumble. It was spring, again, and the both of you were in your second years. He admittedly lost a tiny bit of weight, due to him going to the gym, and you remained the same, except your feelings for him had grew. Almost three years of friendship, and you felt as if you knew him, forever.

Right now, you were sitting neatly at the small Fair, in the highest seat in which belonged to the Ferris Wheel, holding your phone up high while Taishiro was taking a break from his work to watch you look over the whole Fair grounds.

“Yeah, but you’re best friends with me!” You chirped loudly, giggling at his disgruntled huff. You had to be more careful with your words, you thought, as certain words were on the tip of your tongue.  

 You didn’t know what or how he felt. His face did redden a lot, but your mother said that he was young, and pretty girls did that to young men. You knew her intentions weren’t to drown out your hope, but to let you get a perspective on the situation, and to be careful with your feelings.

 He and you had never dated, anyone. Him complaining that he was too fat, and you arguing that he was fine the way he is, genuinely caring about him as your lovable best friend. Of course your feelings had grown, and each time you went to reflect on them, you couldn’t help the passing negative thoughts.

He was in another country. He could actually have anybody he wanted to. If he was seeing somebody, you knew that you’d had to keep your distance from him, in respect of the relationship that he would be building with somebody else.

“Hey, you alright? You’re kinda silent.” His voice snapped your attention away from your thoughts.

“More than fine! Oh! They have a game in which you could win a live rabbit! It’s a little tough, but the bunnies look so cool!” You admitted, changing the subject, and he let out a bark of laughter.

“Bunnies, huh?”

“Yeah?”

“Nothin’. Hey, I gotta go back to work, see ya later!” He waved, and you waved back, smiling as you ended the call.

As your ride ended, you wondered around the grounds, just looking at the sights, and then something shiny had caught your eyes. It was a little stand selling trinkets, you thought as you walked closer. The shiny thing, were two little friendship bracelets with little clear plastic gummy bears hooked onto them, one orange, and the other was your favorite color. You felt yourself smiling, remembering the nickname that his mom had called him, thus leading to everybody else calling him that.

Of course, he was embarrassed, but the absolute flustered and adorable look that he’d given you as you tried out the name, was memorable. A thoughtful gift wouldn’t hurt, you grinned.

……………

You held up your wrist, grinning at his flustered look as the orange plastic bear twinkled in the sunlight.

“What are we, twelve?” He asked, but he held out the trinket, an evident smile was on his face. It was August the eighth, his birthday, and you’ve decided to surprise him with the thoughtful gift that you’d gotten in spring. Of course the look on his face was priceless, and you just ate it up with a grin as he seemed to think the same thing.

“Pft. Gummybear.” You broke the silence, and he bit his lip, looking away.

“That kinda sounds like a pet-name, when ya think about it.”

“What? It is a nickname.”

“Yeah. Between…well, never mind! Thank you for the gift, Chickadee!” He smiled warmly, tying the little bracelet onto his wrist. You gave him your own smile as he referred to your own nickname from school.   …………

 “Guess what?” You couldn’t help but grin wildly, the pure, cheerful energy was radiating off of you as you poured yourself a glass of tea.

“Hm? What is it, Chickadee?” He asked, smiling as if he could just feel your joy all the way from Osaka.

It’s December, now. The two of you had been friends for almost four years, and you had finally, finally-

“I’ll be graduating this spring!”

“Oh, Hon, that’s amazing!” He couldn’t help but mimic your wild grin.

“Yes!” You chuckled.

 To be honest, because of the both of you being in college and at work, living two separate lives, you hadn’t seen or heard from him in a while. It didn’t stop the two of you from trying to reach out, however. The longest time you remembered not really seeing his face, lasted about a week because the two of you were so busy.

 Imagine his surprise when you started crying with tears of joy, extremely happy to see him as he sent you a little gift in the mail. It was an ornament hair pin from the fair in Osaka, and oddly, it reminded you of him. Although humble, it had specks of amber and yellow, and you couldn’t help but feel touched that you had something significant that reminded you of him.

You wanted to hug him. You wanted to talk, face to face in a decent little cafe as he wore the hat and scarf that you’d made him, as you could hear his laughter that wasn’t sullied by the phone’s filter. Also, you wanted to know where the two of you were heading in life. You knew that you couldn’t hold in these feelings for him, forever, hell, you didn’t even know if you’ll ever see him face-to-face ever again, or when he’ll find a very accepting, lovely person and move on without you.

It did break your heart, a little, you couldn’t help but think as you sipped your tea, looking out from the window as he scribbled down notes in the background.

“Tai-chan.” You said, and something in your voice made his attention snap onto you with a look of worry as he read your face.      

       “Hey, Chickadee, what’s wrong?” He asked. You looked at him.

“When can we ever really see each other, again?” The weight must have been evident in your voice, and his expression furrowed with sympathy.

“That’s what’s gotten ya so upset?” He murmured softly.

“Yeah.”

“Fuuuuck, I wanna see ya, too!” He whined, suddenly, and you looked at him with surprise as he cursed.

“I’m telling your mom.”

“Because I said ‘Fuck’, or because I wanna see ya?”

“Both. She can arrive you in tow with a bar of soap in your mouth.” You felt yourself grinning, and he smiled warmly.

“Don’t be sad, Chickadee. When we’re rich and successful from such good jobs, we’ll go see each other every weekend. Hell, I might even get a soap dispenser so ya can wash out my mouth, yourself.”

“Oh, really?”

“Letcha tie me down.” He winked as you rolled your eyes.  

“Aaaaand that’s when our friendship ends.”

“Pft. Anyways. What if….ugh, never mind. Hey, I gotta go, Chicky. Class starts in an hour, kay?”

“Alright, Gummy. See ya later.”   …………………

 What if, what? Kept playing in your mind for months, now. You’ve landed a very good job, and you were great at balancing time with work, family, and your life, while you and Taishiro had kept your ritual of staying in touch. He was more muscular, but still round, and had his earrings that you’ve gotten him for Christmas, still in tact.

 He looked good, and the both of you knew it. You pushed down the little spike of jealousy and discouragement when he mentioned that he was getting more looks, now, but you were more mature, and you knew that he was an adult and could make his own decisions, despite your own feelings. You cared about him, and if you loved somebody truly, their happiness and growth should make you happy, you concluded.  

It didn’t help the fact that he had still a pink flush to his cheeks, rubbing his head awkwardly as he said that he wasn’t really interested in people that he didn’t know, taking little glances at you.

God, Kami, or what, help you, you bit the inside of your cheek. You were hopeless. …….

“Hey, Chicka-umph!” He couldn’t finish the words. Five years. It took the two of you five years to finally graduate, get jobs, save money, and finally, finally-

“It’s been way too long!” You hugged him, burying your face into his jacket as you couldn’t help but let out the most widest grin in years. You let out a yelp of surprise as he had the gall to pick you up and spun you around, him laughing at your stunned expression as he settled you down after the short spiel, and you let out a giggle.

He was smiling down at you, chuckling as he had hugged you back, swaying you a little side to side as his cheeks flushed.

The two of you were in Osaka, his mother and step-father weren’t there, and you traveled alone, bringing only a small amount of luggage with your passport. He sighed.

“You’re still short.”

“Shut it, you’re just a giraffe.” You playfully stuck out your tongue and he rolled his eyes.

“Damn, it’s so good to see ya. Just think, our friendship started ‘cause of yer clumsy ass.” He couldn’t help but joke with you as he grinned at your pitiful attempt of a glare. He chuckled.

“I’m glad, though.” He murmured, and you hummed in agreement.

 You’ve been waiting for this moment, learning Japanese and studying kanji as you walked alongside him, talking about everything and nothing, noticing that he had never really took out the earrings you’ve gave him, plus he and you opted to wear the gummy bear bracelets. Your smiled softly. It was as if the world spun on and the two of you slowly changed, yet like magnets, pulled closer together.

  Since the day that you’ve discovered your own feelings for him, you had decided that you didn’t want anybody else, for he was showing interest, and your heart had remained unbroken as he unconsciously had taken good care of it. He was worth the hours you’ve put into your work, and the extra savings that you’ve had put back. If you had him as just a close friend forever, you’d be happy, you’ve decided.

  It was a fun day. He had saved up to pay for reservations for the two of you to go to the aquarium, telling you that since you’ve made such an effort to see him, he was the one to treat you in Osaka, drinking in your expressions of wonderment and joy as he explained. He chuckled when you excitedly pointed out the whale shark, letting you rant on about how it was a filter feeder, and the biggest fish in the sea.

“Here. It’s my favorite, an’ I figured ya might like to try “the nation’s kitchen’s” street food.” He grinned, holding up a piece of takoyaki for you to try. After a long day of cooing and buying a bit of souvenirs, he led you outside, opting to let you try something that differed from his mother’s cooking from all those years back. You bit into it while he was still holding the toothpick, causing him to fluster, yet you paid no mind, letting the taste of octopus, onion, and sauce envelope your taste buds.

Your face heated up when you realized that it was actually pretty good.

“Good?” He gave a knowing grin. You nodded, and he chuckled.

“Ya got sauce on your cheek, ya messy thing.” He thumbed your cheek, wiping off the sauce. Much to your utter surprise, he had the gall to lick it, eyeing you with a smirk etched on his face.

“Did you just-”

“Tit for tat.” He winked, and you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks.

You couldn’t stay, long. Your boss had given you a limited amount of vacation days, and you could only stay until the night. He knew it, as well, and so the two of you had tried draw out the remaining day, him showing you all sorts of vending machines, helping you walk the ever busy streets as you felt so tiny compared to the skyscrapers, trying different foods, and briefly meeting his mom and step-dad.

She hugged you, rambling fast in Japanese, as you caught certain phrases. Taishiro let out a laugh.

“She misses ya. We all did.” He smiled, and you let out your own, deciding to comfort the fretting woman.

“She has to leave, ma.” He spoke in his native tongue, and she huffed.

“I haven’t seen her in years! Plus you spent all day with her, you heathen.” She then turned towards you.

“Ah, Honey, you look so tired and happy! Did you have a good day?” She cooed, squishing your cheeks playfully and you laughed a little.

“Of course!”

“I’m glad. Let my boy escort you to the airport, alright?” She hummed, and you nodded. ………

 “Today was the best day I’ve ever had in such a long time.” He told you gently, and your heart hammered as you waited on for your flight in the lobby.    

“Same for me. Makes me regret going back.” You gave out a little laugh, but it felt hallow.

“Yeah.” You focused on his solemn expression, eyebrows furrowed as he looked as if he didn’t really wanted you to go, either.

  “Hey.” He broke the silence with a heavy conviction, and you looked up at him with confusion. He said nothing as he took your hand and placed it on his chest, and you were surprised on how fast it was beating. With his other hand, he cupped your jaw, rather gently, and now it was your turn to feel your heart hammering through your rib cage. You didn’t have time to say anything, as he leaned down and gave a chaste kiss on your mouth.

Time seemed to still to a stop for you, but he broke away too soon, face reddened, but he didn’t look as if he regretted it, and you couldn’t find yourself too, either.

“Please, for the love of Kami, be mine. Doesn’t matter when we’ll see each other again, I’ll save up and move to your country, if I have to-”

You interrupted him with your own little kiss, and he hummed into it, gripping you tighter to him as he broke away, only to lean into your neck.

“I’ve been holding these feelings in for a long time.” You murmured, and he nodded.

“Yeah? Since high school?”

“Yeah.”

“Same for me. When I was away from ya, I kept thinkin’, she’s so lovely, in no time, somebody’s gonna snatch her up. Was she waitin’ for me? Took me a while to figure the last one out, but I did.” He hummed, opting to raise his face and kiss your cheek, smiling.

“So, when’s the wedding?” You broke the silence with a joke, and he huffed.

“Ya know what, ya lil’ shit? Maybe tomorrow.”

“Really? We’re just going to...get married?” You looked at him with wonder, and although blushing furiously, he shrugged.

“We’ve known each other for so long. Been pinin’ and sayin’ nothing. Ugh, we’re both dumbasses.” He sulked a little, and you let out a giggle.

“Alright. We’ll plan for a wedding.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“No dates, or anythin’, just jumpin’ right into it?”

“We’ve been low-key dating. As friends, though. Maybe we could give it another year? See how everything works out as a couple? If we save up, we could get married and one of us move to either Japan or my country.” You explained, his expression softening as he kissed you again, a little firmer, this time.

“Alright. I don’t mind either option, or even if ya wanted your own traditional wedding. Heh. This is happening.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re mine and I’m yours, an’ we’re gonna get married.”

“I’m still a little surprised, but I’d have it no other way.”

“Same here.”

[riversofmars]

December 1st

December 2nd

December 3rd

December 4th

“Doesn't that just look like the tinsel she wrapped herself up in earlier…“ Yaz mumbled to Ryan and Graham and pointed to the bag of decorations in Amy’s hand.

“Okay, this is becoming a lot to process…“ The Doctor mumbled moving back a little as the Ponds pulled their daughter in a bone-crushing hug. Apparently it was also a lot for River as her voice was somewhat chocked up:

“Mum, Dad, how long has it been? Where are you?“ She wrapped her arms around Amy and Rory and took a deep breath trying to compose herself. Manhattan felt like an eternity ago now. As much as she tried to deny and numb the pain, she missed them every day.

“Boxing Day after he finally decided to come back from the dead.“ Amy chuckled as they drew back. She took her daughter’s face in her hands studying her expression. It hadn’t been long since she’d seen her but she could tell that for River it had been a very long time indeed. “Where are you?“ She searched her daughter’s face for answers and River struggled to reply. How did she tell her mother that she had died? Even if she was back now, it would be a painful thing for her to hear nonetheless.

“Much, much later on…“ Was all River could manage.

“They can’t possibly be her parents…“ Graham mumbled to Yaz and Ryan, the age difference was impossible.

“That would me them your parents-in-law!“ Yaz hissed to the Doctor who shushed her again. She did not want to face those particular questions right now.

“Where is he then? My dear husband?“ River chuckled trying to gloss over the emotions she was experiencing upon seeing her parents again.

“He was here a minute ago.“ Amy looked around confused as to where their Doctor had gone.

“Okay, I’m really struggling with this…“ Eyebrows announced. “Are you here with the Doctor, because…“ He looked to Amy and Rory, trying to hide his joy for seeing them behind his stoic expression.

“Don’t be so alarmed dear, not the first time a couple of you crossed paths, is it. Like remember that time on Terralysium with the hot springs when…“ River gave him a smirk, trying to get her swagger back and push her emotions down. Her joy for escaping the Library was somewhat overshadowed by the unsettling lack of memory, but what mattered was that she was here now. Also, there were about to be two Doctors here and that was certainly something to be excited about.

“Nope, I don’t, memory all scrambled and probably best by the sounds of it.“ He interrupted her quickly, not wanting to hear more. In some cases the memory loss after crossing time streams was certainly a good thing.

“You’re the Doctor?“ Rory said, looking him up and down in disbelief.

“Who else would he be?“ Bill asked, confused.

“Well, he’s… different from the Doctor we know…“ Amy had to admit.

“I think it’s time we go… This is getting too complicated…“ The blonde Doctor mumbled to her Fam slowly walking backwards. The three of them wanted to protest, they were intrigued, the Doctor never shared anything about her past if she could help it. And here were several important parts of her past, just standing there, chatting, getting acquainted. Why couldn’t they do the same?

“What are you doing sneaking around?“ A voice made them jump, forcing them to halt in their tracks. The Doctor took a deep breath and turned around, facing her younger self that was all bowtie, floppy hair and chin.

“We’re just trying to get out of this shop.“ She forced a smile.

“No, no, you’re sneaking, why are you sneaking? You have something to hide, something is going on here…“ Bowtie could sense it too, something wasn’t quite right, something was wrong with time, something had drawn them here. And even though he couldn’t quite figure out how this group in front of him figured into it, he wasn’t prepared to just let them depart. Somehow he had a feeling they were also connected to this. He locked eyes with his older self, trying to figure out what it was about her that stood out to him.

“Oh look at that, that chin is even more impressive than I remember.“ Eyebrows exclaimed from across the way drawing his attention. Bowtie looked him up and down in response.

“No…“ He winced stepping closer. “I’m gonna be old?“

“Who are you calling old?“ The Eyebrows frowned, using said eyebrows to full effect.

“Do I not get a hello?“ River gave a little wave to the man she’d married as she sauntered over to him.

“River, yes, didn’t we drop you off in Stormcage not so long ago?“ The Doctor smiled awkwardly as she straightened his bowtie for him. “Unless you’re at…“ She gave him a brief kiss shutting him up.

“A different point in time.“ She finished his sentence and nodded.

“So that is also you?“ Yaz whispered to their Doctor, trying to keep up.

“Yup, one younger again…“ The Doctor responded quietly.

“Something strange is going on here…“ Eyebrows mused, sensing the same uneasiness all of them were feeling.

“Yes, and I just caught this lot trying to sneak away.“ Bowtie pointed out, turning back to the Fam and a very nervous Doctor.

[artemishphm]

ARTEMIS LUNA GREY

IDENTITY

Name: Artemis Luna Grey

Nicknames: Temis, Art, Artie, Mis, Moonie, Pip, Honey, Lunetta

Gender: Female

Age: 11 - 17 (in-game, 1984-1991); 47 (present day 2020)

Birth Date: 31st August 1973

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half-blood

Sexuality: Bisexual

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Ethnicity: Caucasian/White

Nationality: Half Italian, Half British

Residence: London, England

Myer Briggs Personality Type: ENFJ-A

THE MAGE

1st Wand: Acacia, Unicorn Hair, 12 inches, pliable

Garrick Ollivander found that wands made from Acacia were difficult to match with a wizard. Acacia wands generally refused to produce magic for anyone but their owners, but conversely, seemed to withhold their full power from all but the most gifted wizards.Owners of Acacia wands were generally subtle wizards, as wands made from this wood were generally unsuitable for what Ollivander termed "bangs-and-smells magic".             

Wands with unicorn hair cores produced the most consistent magic, were least subject to fluctuations and blockages, were most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts, and were the most faithful of wands. However, they do not make the most powerful of wands (unless the wand wood compensates) and are prone to melancholy if mishandled.

2nd Wand: Laurel, Phoenix feather, 12 inches

A laurel wand cannot perform a dishonourable act, although in the quest for glory (a not uncommon goal for those best suited to these wands), laurel wands have been known to perform powerful and sometimes lethal magic. Laurel wands are sometimes called fickle, but this is unfair; the laurel wand is unable to tolerate laziness in a possessor, and it is in such conditions that it is most easily and willingly won away. Otherwise, it will cleave happily to its first match forever, and indeed has the unusual and engaging attribute of issuing a spontaneous lightning strike if another witch or wizard attempts to steal it.

The Phoenix feather his is one of the rarest core types. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn hair or dragon heartstring cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike.Phoenix feather wands are always the pickiest when it comes to potential owners, for the creature from which they are taken is one of the most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalise, and their allegiance is usually hard won.

Animagus: American Staffordshire Terrier

(Real footage of Barnaby playing with Artemis, Rowan rec)

Misc Magical Abilities: 

Parselmouth

Just like her brother Jacob, Artemis is a Parselmouth. She realized she was one when learning about Vipera Evanesca in her fifth year, a snake told her all about his life and she talked with him about her friends.

Seer

Artemis can see the future with her inner eye. She rembers giving prophecies since she was born and how she cried when she couldn’t see her brother’s future anymore, she can’t also see her own future. Artemis hates having prophecies at the most random times (example: when Barnaby was about to kiss her for the first time).

Animagus

Artemis can switch to a dog. She learned to do it with Talbott, even though they aren’t really close. She is not registered in the ministry.

Legilimency

Artemis was born with the ability to read other people’s minds.

Wandless and nonverbal magic

Artemis learned to cast nonverbal and windless magic with Rowan during their second year while they got bored during one of their sleepovers.

Boggart Form: Rowan’s dead body waking up and telling Artemis that it was her fault that she was dead.

Riddikulus Form: Rowan laughing with the fun that she bought with with Artemis 

Amortentia: (What do they smell like?) Rain, Cookies, Vanilla and Fire

Amortentia: (What do they smell?) Snow, Shepherd’s pie, Fresh Laundry and a hint of sandalwood

Patronus: Unicorn

Patronus Memory: 

Dancing her heart out at the end of the fourth year with all of her friends in the courtyard thanks to a muggle stereo Jae had managed to smuggle in the castle

Mirror of Erised:

She sees her whole family just being there with her smiling, telling her how much they love her.

Specialized/Favourite Spells:

Flipendo

Episkey

Riddikulus

Depulso

Protego

Colovaria

Arresto Momentum

APPEARANCE

Faceclaim: Amanda Arcuri

Game Appearance:

Height: 5′5 (169 cm)

Weight: 110 lbs

Physique: Slim

Eye Colour: Green

Hair Colour:  Natural: brown, but she changes it every two weeks

Skin Tone: Ivory

Body Modifications: 

Her mother pierced her ears when she was born. During her years at Hogwarts she got a lot of other piercings on her ears.

She got a septum when she was 15

She also has a small sun stick & poke on her wrist. She got it with Rowan when they were 13 & bored. Rowan has a moon in the same place.

Scarring: 

She has small scars on her fingers due to failed spells

She also had a scar on her lower belly but she doesn’t remember how she got it.

Inventory: (what do they carry on them?)

Popcorn (”you always have to be ready to watch Merula fail at duels”), her mother’s necklace, candy, eye-liner, one of Barnaby’s rings and a dugbomb (”just in case”)

Fashion:

Converse are a must, she’s always wearing them (even when she shouldn’t). During the weekdays when she is not wearing her uniform you can find her sporting an old hoodie and some sweats around the castle. When she’s outside or on special occasion she has a 90s style,

I’ll link her Pinterest style board here once I do it.

ALLEGIANCES

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Affiliations/Organizations: The Grey family, The circle of Khanna, House of Gryffindor, British Ministry of Magic, Order of the Phoenix

Professions:

Gryffindor prefect (1988-1991)

Auror (1992-present day)

HOGWARTS INFORMATION

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: Outstanding

Charms: Outstanding

DADA: Outstanding

Flying: Exceeds Expectations

Herbology: Outstanding

History of Magic: Outstanding

Potions: Outstanding

Transfiguration: Outstanding

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: Outstanding

Divination: Outstanding

Muggle Studies: Acceptable

Quidditch: TBD

Extra Curricular:

-Duelling Club

Favourite Professors:

Minerva McGonagall

Severus Snape

Sybilla Trelawney

Silwanus Kettleburn

Least Favourite Professors:

Patricia Rakepick

RELATIONSHIPS

Brother:

Jacob Apollo Grey

He used to be Artemis’ best friend, but after his disappearance she couldn’t help but think that their bond would never be the same

Father: 

Xavier Grey

Xavier left when Artemis was 3. He never came back.

Mother:

Jennifer Bane

A very cold woman, she never know how to show her love to Artemis. After Jacob left she became verbally abusive towards her daughter.

Love Interest:

Barnaby Lee

Penny Haywood (one-sided love, 1985)

Best Friends:

Rowan Khanna

Jae Kim

Nymphadora Tonks

Tulip Karasu

Penny Haywood

Rival:

Merula Snyde

Ismelda Murk

Andre Egwu (friendly bc of quidditch)

Enemy:

Patricia Rakepick

R

Acromantula

Dormmates: (Who’s in your MC’s dorm with them?)

Rowan Khanna

Skye Parkin

Barnaby Lee (when he doesn’t get caught, sneaked in)

Pets:

Niffler named Plato

Abraxan named Achilles

Fairy named Roger

Closest Canon Friends:

Badeea Ali

Charlie Weasley

Bill Weasley

Liz Tuttle

Skye Parkin

Murphy McNully

Closest MC Friends:

Lizzie Parker ( @lizzieparkerhphm​)

Luna Powell (currently 2nd year, one of my MCs)

If u wanna be friends with Artemis just dm me! I’d love to!

PERSONALITY

Artemis is kind, loyal and funny. She’s a bit bossy sometimes but she always everyone’s best interests at heart. She would literally do anything for her friends. She’s really impulsive and that often puts her in very dangerous situations. She’s also really smart.

MISC

Artemis started dying her hair during her second year, after Tonks pulled prank on her and put dye in her shampoo. She loved so much her green hair that she decided to always change her hair color (Colovaria helped, a lot too)

None’s ever seen Artemis with the same hair color for more that three weeks. Her friends often don’t recognize her from behind when she has a new dye

Artemis and Tulip throw the best parties. They got caught only once.

There’s an unwritten rule at Hogwarts, what happens at their parties stays in their parties.

Artemis loves muggle music, especially Queen and David Bowie.

Even though Snape is always pretty harsh, he’s one of her favorite professors (and deep down he has a soft spot for her).

Rowan and Skye found her during OWLs week at three am crying her heart while singing “love of my life” to a piece of paper where she had written “outstanding OWLs” and a bowl of ice-cream, probably stolen from the kitchen. They never talked about it.

Artemis is in love with the moon. She doesn’t know why, but she’s always felt connected to it. That’s why you can often find her in the astronomy tower just staring at the moon.

She ofter sneaks Barnaby in her room because the feeling of his arms around her helps her ease her nightmares and, when she has her visions, he’s able to calm her down almost instantly.

When Rowan died, he slept with her for two months. None of the professors said nothing.

Thanks to @hogwartsmystory​for the template <3

[onisiondrama]

(Note: I’m not repeating stories he’s told before and just putting them in parenthesis. I have a lot more videos to go until I’m caught up so that would save me a lot of time. If he gives details I never heard from him before, I will type those.)

“Is Onision A Dad? (+ Story With Onision's Father)“ October 12, 2020 Speaks

James says in the past he’s said he’ll never talk about being a father because the internet is crazy. They called CPS on them 3 or 4 times and every time CPS found that they were really good parents. They are responsible, take care of their kids, show them compassion, don’t hit them, listen to them, hug them when they cry, and you try to give them a better childhood than you had.

(Allegations against his father)

Says his childhood was not awful, but it lacked a lot. He did not have a male role model to look up to that was consistent in his life. He believes most of his problems comes from his childhood.

When he thinks about raising another human being, he thinks it’s important to give them a structurally sound environment so they don’t have an excuse to wind up damaged by something not beyond his control.

Says he was watching Christopher Titus talk about children and he said every parent he talked to regretted having kids. James asks if they knew what they signed up for? He says of course they’ll cry and you’ll have to spend a lot of money feeding them. They’re a financial burden and they’re going to cost you you’re time. That’s your responsibility. His mind is blown that they’re acting like parenthood is a curse.

Says he had a nephew who broke his femur and he was like “how could you let that happen? That’s insane. You must have been so neglectful.” His cousin told him, “just wait.” He says it was kind of like his cousin cursed him. (His found his daughter after she fell out of a 2nd story window story.)

He says he feels like a failure in keeping his child safe. If he could go back, he would have not worked so late that night. He still works a lot to pay the bills. When he found her, he thought she was not going to survive, but once the doctor told him the details he knew she would be fine.

He says he refers to himself as “Dr. James” because of instances like (he refused exploratory surgery for his son story.) He says his common sense was more than the doctor’s 18 years of medical training. If you disagree with him, your conclusion results in a child pointlessly cut open. Says it’s horrifying some doctors do this, but it’s reality.

(Refused down syndrome test story.) He says even if their child had down syndrome, it was past the point of pregnancy termination and they would have not wanted to terminate because people with down syndrome deserve love and to be raised. He says he’s a very virtuous person with common decencies. He asked what the point of the test was if it was too late to terminate? She told them it’s for peace of mind. He says he lost it and went full rant on the two women who were trying to potentially kill their baby with a needle. Their kid doesn’t have down syndrome, but if he did they would still take photos of him playing in the park like all other parents do.

He says one of the leading causes of death in our country is medical error. He says that’s because it’s un-natural and you’re cutting people open. Scalps don’t grow on trees. It’s helpful if you have cancer, but if you don’t know what’s going on you should step back and take a breath.

(More of the rash / refuse surgery story. He keeps name-dropping the doctor and where he worked.) He concludes he’s a very protective father. He says his life is nothing compared to theirs. He exists to make their lives better. 

He says when they got to the new hospital their new doctor was Asian. He has a natural assumption that Asian doctors are more balanced and smart. Doctor says it was a rash. (He smacks his deck and stares at the camera.) He says people online gaslight him and question his intelligence, but when he makes decisions they benefit people. In this instance he saved his son from an unnecessary surgery. He was so glad he was there because Kai isn’t the type of person to throw down. Kai would have let them put in that needle and potentially kill his kid. Kai would have been walked all over by the doctor and let the explorative surgery happen. Says he fought for his kid and he won and his son is better for it. Says full disclosure, from that point on he looked at his kid as a drama queen. He was screaming so much over a rash they went to the ER and they almost did surgery on him. He didn’t say this to his son, but he was thinking it.

James says when he had his first kid, Kai was part of a mom group. People were talking about getting divorced. Kai told him 8 or 9 out of 10 people get a divorce after having a kid. He says having a kid isn’t that stressful. It strengthened their bond when they had one. People came and went who tried to ruin their marriage and they all failed at homewrecking. It’s difficult get him to leave his family when he loves his kids. If his life is inferior to his kids, why would his love life be superior. He says people approach them and try to get him to leave Kai or Kai to leave him and they haven’t been successful so far. They have a foundation built on loyalty to their kids. It’s programed into people, but some people don’t have it. Like his father, he had the opposite. According to an article he tried to sue James, but couldn’t because James never said his name. James says he remembers saying his name so if he wants to sue him down the line, that says who he is as a parent.

(His mom tried to sue to see his kids story.) He says his mom called Kai a “tranny” and said he was invalid because he came out in his 20′s and breastfeeds. He says Kai breastfed because the kids need milk, but he plans on getting top surgery once they don’t need it anymore. One of the kids still breastfeeds. His mom refused to date a guy because he slept with a man before. She said he was attractive and she really liked him, but she wouldn’t date him. He says she’s phobic on every level and she lies to his face.

He wants to be honest and accepting with his kids. He wouldn’t call their spouse what she called Kai. Kai was crying about it and his mom said “good. I’m glad he’s crying.” (he’s doing a texting gesture while he’s quoting her.) He asked his mom about Caitlyn Jenner. His mom wouldn’t say anything ill about Caitlyn Jenner, but still attacked Kai. He thought it was mean because he gave her a house for free. He tried to buy it back and she wouldn’t let him even though she previously said she would give it back for free. Says there’s a lot of bad blood with his parents. If his kid ever gave him a house he would be grateful. He says his mom could visit his kids, but he didn’t want her driving them around because she does drugs.

He says this all reflects on their parenting. His mother-in-law asked if she could drink wine while watching their son when he was a very young baby. He said no. He holds everyone to the same standards. He kicked people out of their life for lying and doing drugs. They went on Hansen and acted like he was a monster. No one gives him compassion for that, he was protecting his kids from drugs. The internet believed the drug addict, criminal, liars.

He doesn’t put anyone over his status as a parent. He says lots of families experience tragedies. He saw a 10 year old that was playing with other kids at a family event. The next family event he found out he was dead. He drowned in a pool or a river. He didn’t think the parents were incompetent, he thought it was a horrible tragedy. He immediately thought their pain must be so severe.

He has a cousin whose kid was on a feeding schedule and the kid was bawling for breastmilk. He thought that was insane. The baby is crying because they need to be fed. The most basic of common sense. The baby died of SIDS. He doesn’t know if it’s related, but as a parent you can’t think you screwed up and hate yourself forever. He says if a kid drowned while the mom was shooting up heroin, that’s clear incompetence. If he was voting or paying his taxes when something happened, you can’t say he’s a monster. You can say he was in the wrong place and that sucks, even if he was 10 feet away. It’s awful and you’re not an innocent party because it could have been prevented, there’s that guilt. There was something very specific you’re supposed to do and it seems your kid starved to death or was nutrient deficient. When they went to the funeral, she talked about how Jesus had a plan and taking care of the kid. He says he never heard her talk about religion in his life. It’s just a scapegoat to make people feel better and so they can live with themselves.

He doesn’t know how he knew his kid was outside when she fell. He still doesn’t know what that metal scraping sound that sounded like a toy car on the garage door. His daughter was a few feet away and couldn’t even reach the door. She barely made any noise. He was so lucky he had his headphones off at that specific time. When you survive a tragedy, you don’t feel woe is me. You say thank god we survived that. He’s not going to sit here and say it was part of some plan. He thinks god or angels are more of a clean up crew than a protector. He thinks god can only influence how to fix it or help. What kind of god lets the holocaust happen and give an 8 year old cancer? He thinks there are subtle miracles.

Says we are programed to love our own unconditionally. If your kid stabbed you in the chest, you ask what you did wrong for them to do that. You don’t blame your kids. There may have been a chemical imbalance, but you have to blame yourself. When he sees his kids he sees a smaller version of himself and it scares him. He sees the vulnerability and how many scary things can ruin his life or her life.

He thinks about how he was abandoned as a kid by his dad and his perversions. His dad didn’t try to apologize to the people he hurt or work it out with his mom. He said I’m fine the way I am and screw my family. He blamed everyone and didn’t take responsibility. When his uncle threatened his dad if he came near the family, his dad said he would do the same thing so he knows how bad he is. Instead of talking to his son, he went to a newspaper. Three victims were abused by him. He loves himself more than his kids.

He says they found out his father had a child out of wedlock. He’s the father to a Somoan woman who is much bigger than he is. He says it looks really silly and they don’t look alike. His father didn’t tell them about his other family. 3 of 4 of his kids don’t talk to his father anymore.

A lot of parents only think of themselves and their ego. He thinks it’s a suicide prevention mechanism. When you’re awful, the species programs you to justify your existence.

(Beat up his dad story) He says that, speeding on the highway, and running a red at 2 am are the only crimes he’s committed. He got pulled over for running the red on his way to Tinker Air Force Base and paid a fine.

He doesn’t understand why people think having kids is a burden. He doesn’t understand why people go against their programing. He doesn’t have a mom or dad who loves him unconditionally. He gave his mom a house and she still doesn’t have unconditional love for him.

He wants to lead by example and share his stories. He think he’s at the point of surpassing so many things and up t this point he already gave his kids a better life than he had. They were never hit like he was as a child. They don’t have a stepdad that makes them pray “I love you satan” to the TV, or does drugs around them, or tape a dead duck to a dog’s neck, or shoots that dog for attacking a child. They don’t have a mom that forces you to round up your geese to be sold for potential slaughter because doesn’t agree with you having them and she doesn’t want to take care of them.

He says he might be hated by his young one day because the standard now is probably low. The mistakes he makes, they might grow to say they’ll be better than their father. Then their kids, etc.

If you regret having your kids, you need therapy. You’re going to set them on a path for only caring about themselves. You have to teach your kids to be kind to animals, kind to each other, respectful of people they love. He knows people who had healthy, functional parents and they turned out to be the coolest people. He is painfully damaged as a human being because of what he went through as a child.

You signed up for having kids, so act like it. They’re not a burden or curse. They’re a gift. When you have kids, you’re going to feel love and happiness like you never felt in your whole life. Your view of the world changes and you realize what you did in your life up to that point was meaningless.

He says he’s going to try to only upload new videos once his other videos hit a certain amount of views so he can focus on other things. He doesn’t want to invest in a sinking ship.

He says don’t buy people houses because they won’t appreciate it. You’ll just dump a quarter of a million dollars and they’ll just roll their eyes. He says he used to have a fantasy of buying everyone in his family a new house or pay off their mortgage when he made it big on Youtube. His mom destroyed that fantasy. He gives, but never stopped to think what have they given you? A lot of people who complained about him publicly were given tens of thousands of dollars of stuff by him.

He has a friend, McFly, who always shows up to his Twitch streams and gives him tons of bits. In return, he bought her a $50 gift certificate for a video game and a couple other games at other points. She also gave him a costume. That’s what real friends are.

He hopes you learned a lot from this video.

[shireness-says]

You’re Always 16 Hours Ahead

Summary: Killian Jones never expected to hit it big, but the opportunity of a lifetime pulls him away from home and the woman he pines for. Can a friendship that just might be more survive a concert world tour?

(With wide eyes and faith

That life could never pull us apart if we were ok

But distance kills the best of intentions…)

(~2.6K. Rated T for language. Also on AO3)

~~~~~

A/N: I’m so excited to share my contribution to the @csconcertseries! This is an idea I’ve had for a long time, and I’m excited to finally bring it to life. This is inspired by “Jet Lag” by Frank Turner, and also includes references to “Polaroid Picture,” “Get Better,” and “Plain Sailing Weather.” I’ve definitely been blasting his stuff all month long and dragging other people with me (looking at you, @thejollyroger-writer). Super thanks, as always, to @snidgetsafan for her beta talents. 

Without further ado: Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

POP PRINCESS ANNOUNCES WORLD TOUR

Great news, Fairy Fans: Wildly popular pop music star Tink is planning a world tour. The international exhibition will be undertaken to promote her latest album, “Neverland No More”. Tink will be joined on her tour by recent up-and-comer Killian Jones, who will serve as her opening act. Jones has captured the world’s ear with his recent hit single, “Green Eyes,” which continues to climb the pop charts. A full schedule of planned concerts can be found at…

  September 17th

Dear Emma,

I know it’s only been a few days, but I already miss you and Henry. Los Angeles is loud, and congested, and so much unlike Storybrooke that it scares me a little. But when that happens, I try to remember our bench on the docks, and it helps ground me. I’ve got a picture of us out there taped to the inside of my guitar case, just as a reminder that even if everything changes, I’ve always got something to come home to.

You didn’t think I was kidding when I said I’d write, did you? Mark my words, I intend to write you from every stop. To hell with blocking or setup or rehearsals or whatever, I’ll be sitting on an amp backstage writing you.

You must tell me everything, Swan - don’t you dare get skimpy with the details in your next email! I know it’s been less than a week, but I’m sure there’s something from the gossip mill. Has Liam secured a new Friday act yet? I’m sure he won’t find anyone nearly as talented (or handsome!) as yours truly, but I can’t imagine he and Robin are leaving that slot open in my honor. Tell me, how much do you think he’ll groan if I send back a signed world tour poster?

I’ve got to go - something about the lights. Such is the life of a rock star, isn’t it?

Your own personal celebrity (and best friend),

-Killian

September 19th

Liam - 

Brother, you’ve got to stop calling every few hours. I know you’re bored and your life is empty without me, but this is getting ridiculous. Half the road crew thinks you’re my father. Do you intend to run up your phone bill when the tour crosses the ocean? I love you, but please don’t go broke on my behalf. Now is the time to wean yourself off me.

All teasing aside, I do appreciate the calls, not to mention everything else. If you hadn’t insisted on making those demo tapes and forcing me to Boston and any venue or bar that would take me, I wouldn’t be here today. 

You’d have been so proud to see me - I must have been sweating gallons, but I got up on stage in front of that massive crowd and I did it, sang my pieces. The noise of all those people practically shakes your bones, Liam - and that wasn’t even half the noise that Tink elicited! I don’t know how she does it. I suppose I’ll find out, though, won’t I? After all, this is my big break, as long as I don’t screw it up too badly. 

I’m sure I’ll talk to you later - in the meantime, say hello to the lads for me.

-Killian.

P.S. Keep an eye on Emma and Henry for me, would you? I know you’ve already promised, but I worry. I owe you one, brother.

  October 2nd

Emma - 

Hello from Seattle! It is just as rainy as promised, and I’ve lost count of the coffee shops. Part of that might be the Starbucks, though. I swear, they’re like a plague, popping up all over the place. 

The tour is still going well. I might even get used to this tour bus life! I miss you all, of course - my love especially to Henry - but it’s exhilarating, getting up on stage every night in front of so many people. The crowds are huge, Swan, larger than I ever could have imagined. I know they’re mostly here for Tink, but there’s always applause and a handful of people singing along to my songs, and it’s the best kind of adrenaline. Leaves me with an itch in my fingers and a new song stuck in my head. I’ll work it out later. 

I’m so happy to hear that Henry is doing so well in kindergarten; he’s always been a little social butterfly. I’ll bet that he makes tons of friends; I’m glad he loves it so far. I’ll call soon, I promise. 

Yours, 

-Killian

  October 20th

Swan - 

Happy Birthday, darling! Technically, I’m mailing this a few days early, but I hope it’ll reach you just in time. I’m sorry to be missing the festivities this year - just know that I’ll be thinking of you all day, wishing I was there to celebrate with you. Keep an eye out for a package or two - and before you even try to protest that I don’t need to, they’re just little things, love. Stuff that made me think of you. Tokens of my affection, if you will. It’s your birthday, anyways - live a little! Let us spoil you for once.

Texas is… less than impressive. Large? Yes, in a way that feels almost performative. It’s missing some kind of charm, at least to me. Then again, I’ve never been much for cowboy hats; maybe that’s the real problem, here. Regardless, I’d gladly take the northeast fall colors any day. 

Make a good wish, alright? I hope the year to come is as wonderful as you are.

Yours,

-Killian

  November 26th

Dear Henry - 

Happy Thanksgiving! Did you have a good holiday? Did Granny make enough macaroni and cheese for you to eat your fill? I know that’s your favorite.

Thank you for watching the parade! I was really excited to be in it too. Sadly, the powers that be wouldn’t let me take home the Snoopy balloon for you, but I did manage to get a couple of handfuls of confetti for you. It should be inside this envelope. You would have loved it, Henry - the confetti was flying everywhere and I saw so many really cool floats up close and personal. We’ll maybe have to go together in a couple of years, aye? We’ll ask your mum.

Draw lots and lots of turkeys for me, little mate - I know you’re really good at that. And give your mum and Liam a great big hug for me!

Love,

-Killian

  CELEBRITY FILE EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH EVERYONE’S NEW FAVORITE HEARTTHROB - KILLIAN JONES

… In researching this piece, I heard over and over about how personal Jones’ lyrics were, how well they captured every feeling and variation of being in love. Every fan out there seems to feel like his words are written just for them, like a window into their soul. So when I finally met with the man himself, I couldn’t help but ask: Was there anyone who inspired such lyrical devotion? Some woman - or man! - in his own life who inspired such moving words?

“You know, the thing I’ve always liked in listening to music on my own is being able to recognize a little bit of myself in someone else’s words,” Jones told me in response to the question. “It always made me feel a little less alone - a little more connected to other people, I guess, to hear that they experienced or saw things the same way I do. It’s very rewarding to hear that people feel the same way about my music. I’m of the opinion that music should be a universal experience, and when I write, I write words that I hope other people can see a bit of themselves in.”

Something about that blush and the nervous scratch behind his ear that fans know so well tells me he’s holding out on us…

  December 11th

Dearest Swan - 

The holidays have crept right up on us, haven’t they? Do us both the favor of imagining me singing that sickly-sweet “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” nonsense, because it’s true. December 20th. Mark your calendar, and don’t blame me if I fall asleep on the car ride home from the airport. It’s all this travel, you see - takes it right out of you. You can’t blame a man for that, love.

(Also, please ignore that I’ll be flying in from Chicago. I still plan to claim jet lag. That one hour difference, love, it’s a real killer.)

Is there anything in particular that Henry especially wants this year? I’ve done my best to pick up things for you and Liam and everyone else, but I know the lad’s tastes change practically hour to hour, and he’s probably got a whole list stashed somewhere. I want to get him something he’ll really like instead of just wandering through the toy store in a panic, if at all possible.

Counting the hours until I see you again,

-Killian

  January 8th

Emma - 

I don’t even know where to start. How can I properly apologize for what happened at New Year’s? I struggle, because I can’t truthfully say that I regret it. I don’t think I’ve made it a secret all these years that I’m helplessly enthralled by you and everything you are. There are words - big words, three words - that rattle around in my heart every day, but I know you’re not willing to hear them yet. I’ll be here, love, whenever you’re ready.

I know you’re scared, Emma, but I’m begging you - just talk to me. We can forget all about this, if that’s what you want, but you’ve got to talk to me. Every day I don’t hear from you is just a little bit harder. I’ll follow your lead, whatever you say.

You’ll always be my best friend, Swan - no matter what else happens.

-Killian

  January 20th

I kissed her, Liam.

I’m sorry; that’s not much of a way to start a letter is it? How are you? Everything going well? 

But I’m sorry, I’ve got to talk about this and get it off my chest. Because I kissed her, Liam. Emma. I kissed Emma. And then it kind of… all went to shit. I guess that’s just like me, isn’t it? Give me one fine day of plain sailing weather, and I can turn it to stormy seas.

And I know where she’s coming from, really - I know better than almost anyone about how she’s been left behind too many times. As much as it hurts to have this sudden radio silence, I know she’s just trying to protect herself. But I love her, Liam. I’ve loved her forever. This isn’t just “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” or something stupid like that. I should have acted a long time ago. I should have done a thousand different things, but here we are.

If you have any ideas of how to fix this, please, let me know. I hope you’re having a happier new year than I so far.

-Killian

  February 2nd

Dear Emma - 

I can’t tell you how good it was to hear from you the other day. You may think that there’s nothing interesting about all the goings-on in the bar, but that particular kind of nothing is soothing. It’s like a little piece of home in every email. Besides, I know that the bar is never quite as boring as we always joked. And I’d welcome any word from you anyways, after how much I’ve missed you.

We’re in Paris right now. It’s gorgeous, truly - I’ll have to bring you and the lad back sometime. I know you’d call me a nerd, but I’ve been hitting museums - the Louvre, the Musee d’Orsay, the Rodin museum, etc. I made sure to do the Eiffel Tower too, just for you, even though the crowds were utterly terrible. Stuffed my face with pastries too, all on your behalf.

(Okay, you caught me, Swan - the pastries are for me too. The croissants, Swan! The bread! I surely won’t fit in my trousers if we’re here any longer, but I can’t regret it. I swear, I’d ship some back to you if I thought they’d survive the trip.)

We’ll have to schedule time for a call home soon - I find myself so often longing for your voice. I love your emails, but there’s something to a phone call that can’t be replaced. 

Yours,

-Killian

  March 11th

Dear Henry - 

Thank you for sending me that drawing! I love it. It’s taped to the inside of my guitar case now, where I can look at it every day. I especially like the yellow you used for your mum’s hair. You’ll have to thank her for scanning that for us on my behalf. That’s good form, you know.

I’m in Amsterdam right now. Your mum or Liam can show you where that is on a map; it’s in Western Europe. I went someplace I think you’d love today; it’s called Madurodam. It’s this entire miniature city, with little airplanes and zoo animals and everything. I had a lot of fun exploring it, and I think you would too.

A graduation, you say? From kindergarten? I wouldn’t miss it for the world, lad. I’ll be home, no matter what.

I miss you, Henry, and your mother too. It always brightens my day to see an email from you.

Sealed with a great big hug,

-Killian

  April 21st

Emma - 

London is rainy and cold. I suppose I shouldn't have expected anything different, but here I am, surprised all the same. It’s hard to convince myself to go do any of the tourist-y things when the weather is like this, so I’m stuck inside, writing to you. Not that that’s ever a hardship...

You’d hardly recognize me with this get-up I’ve found myself in for the show tonight - the heavy eyeliner especially. Gone are the days of some beat-up tee - though I think you might like the vest. Getting dressed feels like slipping into some other persona. I worry a lot of the time about whether I’ve changed beyond recognition, or if I’m still the same person you know. That’s the man I want to be, you know - someone you can be proud of, but somehow still that same poor bastard in the bar, just trying to write words that mean something. I hope I am. But you know how it goes - distance kills the best of intentions. 

I miss you terribly, Swan, and Henry too. Hell, even Liam. These letters are all that ground me some days, I fear. On the loneliest nights, I reread your emails and imagine you’re talking to me instead. It’s always just a too-brief daydream, unfortunately.

I’ve grown rather maudlin, haven’t I? That won’t do at all. I blame it on the rain. Here’s a happier note for us both: I’ll be home late next month. Perhaps I’ll have to make one of those paper chains Henry’s so fond of; if I do, I’ll include a picture with my next letter. 

Counting the days. Until then - 

Love, Killian

  May 17th

My Swan - 

By the time you get this, I’ll be home with you and the lad again, and hopefully have already told you in person everything I want to say now:

I love you, Emma. Every word of every song is for you. I’ve loved you from the first moment I laid eyes on you, and no time or distance or groupie is ever going to change that. I’m yours, love, body and soul. And I have faith that life can never tear us apart as long as that’s true.

I’m coming home, love. And my home is you.

Yours (in every sense),

-Killian

  BREAKING NEWS: KILLIAN JONES’ SECRET LOVER?

Bad news for all the fangirls and Killy-Tink shippers out there: Bad boy popstar Killian Jones appears to be off the market. The singer, 27, was spotted locking lips with an unidentified blonde at the Storybrooke Memorial Gardens, just outside of Boston, where Jones calls home. Sources have long speculated that Jones has a secret girlfriend back home, and this just might be confirmation. Check back as this story continues to develop. StarWatchOnline remains YOUR #1 celebrity news site… 

~~~~~

Tagging: @snowbellewells, @profdanglaisstuff, @kmomof4, @winterbaby89, @teamhook, @ohmightydevviepuu, @optomisticgirl, @spartanguard, @thisonesatellite, @let-it-raines, @scientificapricot, @searchingwardrobes

[dungeons-bat]

Actress (2nd Chap)

Warnings: None.

The complete fic

---------------------------------------------

“So, when do you live the firm?” - Tom and I had been talking for some months now, I could say that we were really friends, but we had not even trade phone numbers, we just talk via Instagram. I’ve been to his house twice, one after a party because I had lost my keys, and the other one he needed to change, and I was with him. “Today I leave at seven, why?” - But he was an amazing company. “I was just wondering if you’d be interested in going to have dinner with me…” - Wait, what? Tom Hiddleston asking me if I want to have dinner with him? It’s a huge yes, colleague. “OH, yeah, sure, what time?” - I need at least half an hour to get presentable. “Are you comfortable with eight? Or maybe eight thirty?” - He knows the getting ready rules, good. “Eight sounds perfect.” - And when I confirmed the time, panic hit me. I don’t have many expensive clothes, but I have a great amount of fancy ones. I don’t wear make up, but should I wear some to dinner. I mean, is just dinner, it is not a date. “It’s settled then. I’ll pick you up. Do you have any restaurant preference?” - How can someone be so gentile. “Oh, no, I do not. But do not bother in picking me up, I can get an Uber.” - I mean, I don't want him to lose his time driving me. “Oh, if you’re not uncomfortable about me doing so, I do insist in picking you up, Isa.” - He is definitely a gentleman, is he not? “Fine, you won! I’ll send you the address later then.” - It was a bit strange to be going out with someone like him. I mean, I saw him actin the first time when I was eighteen. Since then, he became so famous. It was already strange talking to him, becoming his friend was even stranger., but having dinner with him? It was panicking. None of that is bad, but who would predict that me, a nobody, would have contact with such guy? Because I did not. “Oh, I’m so sorry Tom, but I need to go to work, see you at night.” - I was actually five minutes late, but my boss would understand. No, she would not, but I said it was the traffic. I spent the whole day thinking about what I should dress, what makeup to put on, what shoes, but then I remembered, where am I going? I decided to send Tom a message. ‘Hey Tom, how you doing? I would like to know if you already know where are we going tonight. If you do not, please give me a hint when you do.’ and he quickly answered, ‘Hi Isa, I was thinking about The Gaston, what do you think? Do you have other suggestions?’ - The Gaston? That was probably the most expensive restaurant in the city. ‘The Gaston? You sure? The place is so expensive.’ - I think the glass of water there costs my kidney. ‘If you have a better place… But I’m paying.’ - I can’t let him do that, can I. ‘Tom, come on, I’m not letting you pay the bill alone.’ - I said. ‘Well, then you have two options, you can either cancel, or let me pay. Your choice’ - I can’t believe he’s doing that. ‘Fine, it’s on you, but next time I’m not even letting you bring your wallet.’ - Is there going to be a next time? ‘That’s fine, I can transfer money, Isa’

“You look gorgeous.” - Thomas was at my door, and I was a bit ashamed because he was perfect, and the watch he was wearing could probably pay my flat. But he did not seem to be bored at all, at least I knew how to dress. I was wearing a black dress, my hair was done, but I let it the most natural way possible, and I had some jewellery, of course, can’t get out of my house without them, but these I did not use them that much, just special occasions. Tom looked breathtaking, he was wearing a grey suit, a black shirt and grey tie also. This man is going to be the death of me. “Wow, you’re magnificent Tom, you look amazing in suits.” - I hope my face did not give away the fact that I was amazed and probably in love. “Noted, wearing those more then.” - So he was interested in looking good for me, then? Interesting and also noted. “Well, shaw we?” - He asked. “Sure.”

“Do you drink wine?” - No, Thomas, I don’t drink. Usually… “Not all times, but today, yes, I do drink wine.” - So he handed me the wine list. “Oh no, you better do it. I don’t know how to choose it, Thomas.” - So he looked at me strangely. “Thomas, it sounds strange.” - I kinda forgot that they call him Tom. “Oh, sorry.” - I got a bit embarrassed. “Oh don't, I like the way it sounds. Specially when you say it.” - So I blushed. “Someone got shy, hahaha. Hey don’t worry, I just meant that your voice it's pretty, and I like the way you say my name, no big deal, miss.” - And I could feel my face just getting hotter. “OK, let's choose the wine, will you help me?” - It was pretty clear that he saw that I was dying inside. “Sure, I think red suits the occasion better, am I wrong?” - I tried to act normally. “And you said you don't know how to choose. What do you think about ‘Vega Sicilia Único’?” - That’s actually the one I was interested in. “I believe that’s the best option.” - And saying so, I just kept looking at my shoes. Tom had seen that I was oddly quiet and pretty shy. He tried to act normally as well, so he just asked the waiter for the wine and the food, which we were sharing both, by the way. “So, why’d asked me to have dinner with you? Not that I’m complaining, just wondering.” - He is Thomas Hiddleston, he could be having dinner with any pretty lady in the country. Why had he asked me? ‘Why would I not ask my newest friend to spend some time with me?” - Smart answer. That’s kinda obvious, I don’t know why I’m I so freaked out about it. “Any news about acting?” - He asked. “Not actually. It’s not like I seek job, Tom, I dropped the acting idea because it's not a safe choice. But if someone offered me something, I would accept it for sure. Although I don’t know if I would have time, I work all day, you know…” - I explained to him. “And what if someone got you a job, a year and a half or something.” - Suspicious. “Why?” - I mean what? “I mean, you could be financially stable for more than a year, you would not need to work anywhere else. It's just a speculation, not asking for any specific reason.” - Fair enough. “I would say bye to the firm and start the work at the same time, hahahaha. Thomas, acting is something that I love. Not that I cont like law, I love it so badly, but one single job would not ruin my law career. As long as we don’t have any nude scenes.” - I explained. “Fair enough Isabela. But I can tell you, once you do your first scene, you won't be able to stop.” - Hearing my name is kinda strange, but I kinda like it as well. “I would be able because anyone would ask me to work for them, mister Thomas.” - So he did that same look, when he disagrees with something. “Well, I’ve seen that I won't be able to convince you that you’re great, so I have a proposal for you.” - What proposal? “First, you’ve only seen me acting once, at your house, and we were both too happy for any judgement, and second, what is the proposal.” - I was interested. “We were happy? We were drunk. We were very drunk, you had lost your keys at a party for god’s sake. But I was incredibly capable of judging, miss.” - And he started to laugh, I could not help but laugh too. “So, what’s the proposal, Tom?” - Man, I was curious, he would not drop that in the air if it was nothing. “So, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say everything I’m about to say, but let's go. One of the companies I work for need an actress who’s going to act like a seventeen-year-old girl, I thought you’d be up for the challenge.” - He said. “And what company would that be?” - I can’t just say ‘yes’ without knowing what it is. “It may or may not be Marvel.” - I gasped, Marvel? Like Marvel Studios? “Just please don’t tell anyone, I could get in trouble, because there’s only a few female characters that should be that age, so it is a huge spoiler.” - What characters? “I have no idea of who soul be seventeen, but Thomas, Marvel is huge, they would never accept someone like me, who is not even an actress…” - I mean, why would they even. “Isa, think about it, you’d be

doing a great role, Marvel would not have to pay you a huge salary, since you’re not known, which is good for them.” - He has a point. “Tom, how could I even get an audition? It’s Marvel!” - It makes no sense. “Well, if you were interested in coming to the studio with me three weeks from now, you could do the audition, and we could see if you’re the newest Marvel actress. I’ll send you the lines you need to memorize and that’s it.” - Oh my, that easy? “Lord, yes, I would love to. Really, Thomas, I don’t know how to thank you.” - This is amazing. “You don't have to. We don’t even know if they will give you the job. Calm down hahaha. The food arrived, let's eat, shaw we?” - He asked. “Yeah, sure.” - I was so excited. “But hey, think about it, if you get the role, your life will change completely. Paparazzi everywhere, people saying good and bad things about you, every single post you wanna share in any social media has to be thought one million times, revised and re-revised, because peoplepeople may end up misinterpreting you.. The acting world it’s amazing, especially when you’re making films like these. But it has its flaws.”

‘Hi Tom, I’m sorry to be sending you this right now, I know it’s late, but I’m a bit nervous. What should I wear for the audition?’ - I tried to hold myself until the next morning, but I had to let everything ready for the next day, so about one hour Thomas dropped me at home, I sent him that message. ‘Hi, don’t worry, I just got out of my bath, so not sleeping. Feel free to message me any time, by the way. I think you should wear something that will complicate your performance, so no jeans. I also recommend you not to go with shorts. As for the top, any shirt will do, just think about your performance, if it can make it hard for you to move, don't wear it. If you need anything else, just ask.’ - He did not even take a minute to answer. ‘Thanks you Thomas, have a great night’ - I started blushing when I started to think about him, and the idea of him getting out of the shower was both embarrassing and hot. Isabela, put yourself together, respect the man. ‘Have a nice night, Isa. See you.’

[fictionalarsonist]

heartache — pt.2

pairing ›_yoonkook

content ›_angst ; fluff ; underage drinking ; mild language ; jealous!yoongi rating ›_pg word count ›_4.3k

―

premise ›_they’re two idiots in love still figuring things out.

a/n ›_this is an unplanned follow up to the heartache drabble, requested by taesboba and jazzy3120 at ao3. I hope they enjoy it as well as everyone else who reads. Feedback is always appreciated. edit ›_(Aug.2nd) had to change the title because part 3 was requested. 😂😂 the funny thing is, I wrote heartache as part of a drabble in which I compromised myself in not writing too much, but i'm always happy to take requests. credit › _thank you so much to @mindays​ for beta-reading and helping me out with this one for me. _😘💕

「 ao3 | masterlist 」

[ heartache | part 2 | epilogue ] 

The car stopped and Yoongi looked through the window, part of him expected to see Jungkook somewhere among the other students. He felt the driver’s eyes on him through the rearview mirror and forced himself to divert his attention, sliding his wallet out of his jacket’s pocket to pay the man.

“Look,” the man started, chewing his gum way too obnoxiously for Yoongi’s taste, “If you don’t have a dorm or anything and— y’know, need a place to stay...”

Yoongi saw him reaching inside over the panel and for a piece of paper and a pen, write something down and slide the paper in the folded bills before handing it to him.

“It’s cheap and somewhere— near ,” the man cracks a contained laughter that shakes his shoulders a little, “I guess we could say that?” His laughter dies when Yoongi doesn’t seem to respond to his antics, “Just try giving a call, okay? Have fun in college, kid.”

Yoongi pocketed the money and stepped out of the car, glad that he could breath fresh, untainted air yet again. Yoongi swung his backpack on his shoulder, the old thing could fall apart any day, but he’s oddly attached to it. He shifted the gym bag he’s been carrying from one hand to another after shoving the money in his pocket and leaving his hand tucked in there as he took a quick look around.

Yoongi isn’t exactly what one would call a very good navigator, but he could remember by heart the address Jungkook gave to him. He walked straight along the park until the second intersection, then he crossed the street. Yoongi can’t help but to notice how these traditional colleges have the same type of environment and architecture, but the locations are always random or so it seems.

One could never know where everything is supposed to be. Yoongi recalls how long it took him and Hoseok to figure out the different paths and shortcuts to go from one place to another. Jungkook, being the ever infamous golden boy that he is, always figures things out as if it was nothing to others. Hoseok told him about it, Hoseok would always update him on anything Jungkook related— Not that Yoongi ever asked him too. But, he couldn’t just— Simply ignore it and not listen to it. He just pretended he didn’t.

Then again, of course, this was before that day. Before Yoongi saw the mess that he created. That late afternoon when he cornered Hoseok and made him trace Jungkook’s phone location, grabbed his friend’s car keys and rushed to the place he still knows by heart because that's where Jungkook would always oh-so-coincidentally bump into him with his friends and his girlfriend. Saying he felt like a piece of trash seeing Jungkook wasted like that is an understatement.

It took so much of Yoongi to keep himself together and try helping Jungkook at that moment when he himself was a turmoil inside, not knowing how to feel or how to act. The only thing he knew was that that scene right there was dangerous and he knew Jungkook’s story with alcohol so it made it all worse— All the more scary and Yoongi just couldn’t stop blaming himself.

Not when he arrived nor when he managed to get Jungkook to throw up all that was inside of him and sober a little. Not when he had Jungkook in his arms and felt so powerless because even though he was there he kept pushing Yoongi away and this could be too late for them.

It was hard, stumbling on his thoughts and uncertainties in front of Jungkook sitting across from him in that truck. The way Jungkook looked at him, utterly vulnerable, physically sick, and emotionally hurt when Yoongi— very inappropriately, mind you—  gathered whatever courage he could to finally spell it out his confession.

It could be called a miracle that things turned out good considering how much of a neglecting asshole he was for so long. Now, he’s doing again, dragging himself halfway across the country to meet that annoying brat that is his boyfriend. Six months is too long, Skype calls, phone calls, texts. Nothing’s anywhere near being good enough when Yoongi thinks of just how they were together almost the entire time over their summer break. Even so, it wasn’t enough.

Yoongi’s not quite sure what he expected, but Jungkook is nothing he could imagine and the thrill of a new relationship still burns between them very frustratingly with the many miles that keeps them apart. It’s almost consequential that one of them decided to reach out first and see the other, and since Jungkook’s still going over his finals Yoongi decided to arrange his final project’s schedule around it.

A quick look around told Yoongi he’s close enough. He could see the statue, ‘The Patron’ as Jungkook told him it’s called. And as Jungkook said, it’s decorated with some weird accessories provided by some students that were starting to celebrate the end of another semester, or, in other cases, the end of their major. Yoongi recognizes Jungkook’s contribution to the mess, he’s seen before in the picture Jungkook sent him to let him know what the statue looks like on the ‘How to get to my dorm’ file.

It’s quite unbelievable how the dean doesn’t even try to stop this anymore. His college, on the other hand, would have the staff throwing a fit just for the sombrero on the statue’s head. Jungkoook’s contribution is a copy of Yoongi’s tattoo, painted in white on the dark green statue, at the same place Yoongi has it. A little too detailed, Yoongi thinks, and way too unnecessary as he said before, but professing that to the bratty Jungkook only earned him an amused chuckle and a very teasing-toned reply.

“Oh! C’mon, hyung!” Jungkook started all by himself, knowing his teasing would always stir a nerve in Yoongi, “It’s the end of my second semester. My first year, my first collaboration on the project! I was told to contribute with something that means something important to me.”

“My tattoo?” Yoongi replied, refusing to acknowledge how affected he was by the way Jungkook smiled at him with a purpose and Yoongi liked even less that Jungkook quickly shifted into his mocking demeanor.

“Well, it’s not like I could draw you there. I couldn’t pin you there either,” though, despite his worlds, Jungkook seems to be putting some thought into it.

“Whatever you’re thinking of — Just don’t!” He tried to cut  Jungkook off when the other half-smiled to himself and shifted in bed to lay down.

“I swear, hyung. I’d be a waste, if I could bring you all the way here, I’d pin you right on this bed.” Jungkook provoked, placing his laptop beside him instead. “Do you have any idea of how much I miss you right now? — ”

Yoongi doesn’t really want to think of how Jungkook’s voice sounded so purposefully provocative and instantly made him weak. It’s just embarrassing how things turned out to be. Not that Yoongi doesn’t like it, but he prefers not to think about the way goosebumps runs over his skin and he’s always so responsive to Jungkook.

Jungkook, on the other hand, has been enjoying himself all too much, pushing some limits here and there and seeing Yoongi just allowing him with nothing but meaningless protests. Yoongi’s been quite pathetic, while Jungkook has been enjoying having this effect on his hyung a little bit too much for Yoongi’s liking. Jungkook isn’t Yoongi’s first relationship, but with him everything’s so much more than Yoongi ever had. 

The statue certainly means he’s going the right way and Yoongi decides not to let his mind wander too much or he might get lost which isn't the ideal at the moment. So, from the statue he should take the second left. Jungkook said he’d be in class and would meet him at the apartment, his roommate moved out— Seokjin, or Jin-hyung as Jungkook likes to call him, Yoongi remembers well because Jungkook couldn’t stop singing praises about the guy that Yoongi saw plenty of times on Jungkook’s social media.

It doesn’t quite surprise Yoongi that he recognizes Seokjin when he looks over and he definitely doesn’t need a second glance to clearly see Jungkook beside him. Yoongi pauses his steps as he stops and stands there, furrowing his brows. His watch tells him he’s not late or early, actually, he’s right on time. Jungkook had told him he’d be in class for two and a half hours, so why is he in the middle of the campus, talking to his ex-roommate? Without as much as a second thought Yoongi finds his feet taking him their way.

“You’ll be okay without me around, right?” Jin asks.

“Yeah. Don’t worry, hyung.” Jungkook smiles with a shrug.

Jin takes a once-over at Jungkook and his eyes stop at the messy hair falling over the younger’s eyes.

“You really should cut your hair,” Jin says introspectively, reaching out to try and arrange the loose strands, running his hand through Jungkook’s hair.

“Alright! Geez!” Jungkook starts complaining, pulling back from Jin’s obsessive mania of getting everything into place. “I will, hyung! When the finals are over-,” Jungkook tries to lean back to escape from Jin’s obsessive behavior of always fixing everything.

“Jungkook!”

Jungkook’s heels scrape the gravaled ground as he turns to Yoongi walking up to him with purpose. Jungkook’s first reaction would be greeting Yoongi as he meant to do since they parted ways, but something tells him that there doesn't seem to be a space for that at the moment. Whatever Jungkook says is lost in the wind while Yoongi locks eyes with Jin as he coolly retracts his hand from Jungkook’s hair. Seemingly unfazed by Yoongi’s hard, threatening stare.

“I thought you’d be in class,” Yoongi speaks up, his eyes taking their time to look away from the calm and collected Jin in front of him to Jungkook.

“I should , but the professor didn’t show up,” Jungkook says, “I was about to go home and wait for you when I met Jin-hyung.”

Yoongi’s eyes quickly land on Jin again, clearly displeased to see that he’s still there. Jungkook’s eyes find Yoongi’s backpack hanging from his fingers and he tries to take it from him, though Yoongi’s fingers have a firm grip on it.

“Just give it, hyung,” Jungkook insists.

“You already have enough on you,” Yoongi contests, resisting even though Jungkook doesn’t let go, nodding at Jungkook’s own backpack and the books under his arm.

“I’m alright, hyung.” Jungkook assures him in a half-annoyed tone, his fingers forcing Yoongi’s to let him take it.

Yoongi sighs and Jungkook knows he’s embarrassed with this, it’s been a pleasure apart from everything else to know this other side of Yoongi. It’s been all the more fun to explore this side of Yoongi too, but Jungkook knows now’s not the moment to push it further. Not with the way Yoongi looked at Jin just a moment before.

Jungkook’s eyes snap at Jin for a moment. “Oh, right. I almost forgot.” Jungkook says with one of his mischievous smiles he knows Yoongi’s always suspicious about and he gave his boyfriend plenty of reasons to be suspicious of, although not enough— or so Jungkook thinks.

“Hyung,” Jin’s attention never left them but his eyes had been softly watching Yoongi with something rather unreadable in them, they slide over to Jungkook, “This is Min Yoongi-hyung—”

“Ah!” Jin extends his hand, “Of course.”

Jungkook turns to Yoongi next and manners his hand to Jin, “I told you about Jin-hyung before, right?”

“Yeah, you did,” Yoongi speaks up loosely.

Against his own will Yoongi pulls out his hand from his pocket and takes Jin’s hand firmly in his locking eyes with the guy. Yoongi doesn’t want to let his mind go over unnecessary things, but he didn’t like how Jin’s taller and perfectly put together self is presented to him. But, the real reason as to why Yoongi gets put-off by Jin is that arrogant smile flashing towards him as if Jin knows something Yoongi doesn’t.

“It’s good finally meeting you,” Jin says with a casual politeness that is an obvious characteristic of him, even not knowing him Yoongi could see it. “You know,” Jin smiles pleasantly, but it just makes it harder for Yoongi to not dislike the guy, “Jungkook’s always talking about you.”

“I’m sure he’d do that. I’m his boyfriend.”

Yoongi finds himself saying, squeezing Jin’s hands in his and pulling back harshly. Jin raises an eyebrow, tilting his head with a clear contradicted expression at first that only lasts for a second before he portraits his signature polite smile.

“Well, I’m just his roommate— Well, I mean ex -roommate, right?” Jin lets out what Yoongi clearly sees as a posed smile, a posed chuckle that he has no doubt others can easily fall for. Not him. “I was kicked out.”

“I didn’t kick you out, hyung!” Jungkook protests.

“Oh, c’mon, Kookie!” Jin seems to genuinely enjoy calling Jungkook that nickname, Yoongi, on the other hand, isclose to having enough of it. “I got pretty sick and tired of you complaining about how our living arrangements wouldn’t allow your boyfriend to come over and stay with you. It was too clear for me to not take the hint, it just worries me about the rent, though.”

“Don’t worry, hyung. I got it.” Jungkook reassures him.

“Well, if you say so—” Jin shrugs dismissively, “Let me know if something comes up. I can always move back in.”

If only looks could kill, Jin would be a dead man long before he could finish saying that with that ridiculous, arrogant, posed smile that’s started to rub off on Yoongi in the wrong way everytime Jin does it.

[ ⁕⁕⁕ ]

“Hyung?” Jungkook calls out for the nth time as they walk to Jungkook’s place. “Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jungkook insists on despite knowing it might not be the best idea, “Hyung! Yoongi-hyung!”

“I’m just fucking tired, okay?” Yoongi speaks between his teeth and Jungkook sighs as the elevator doors open and they step in.

Yoongi turns to look at Jungkook, examining him.

“What~?” Jungkook asks, half-irritated now.

“What’s the problem with your hair?”

“Huh?” Jungkook looks up, not being able to reach up to check it since his hands are busy.

“That guy was running his hands in your hair when I saw you. What’s wrong with it?” Yoongi asks with even less patience and Jungkook chuckles looking back at him.

“Ah, that. Jin’s kind of obsessed with everything being clean and right… I don’t know,” Jungkook shrugs, “He keeps nagging at me.”

“You don’t wash your hair?”

“Wha- No! Hyung, no!” Jungkook laughs, “It’s just that— I should’ve got a new cut, but I can’t find the time to do it, since there’s still some finals to go through and some stupid project I have to finish. I just haven’t had time to go to a barber since he moved out.”

“I think it’s just fine like this,” Yoongi speaks up, “Just cut the ends, I think. So it won’t fall over your eyes.”

He’s not used to this yet. Especially since he knows the provocative smile Jungkook’s wearing right now.

“Thank you, hyung. Actually, I was thinking... I was thinking of just cutting a little just so the hair won’t fall on my face, but I’ll keep the long bangs.”

Yoongi sees Jungkook moving closer to him, he looks over only to find his boyfriend’s face just a breath away from the distance of him. Yoongi turns to look at the closed doors again and feels Jungkook’s breathy chuckle on his ear, sending shivers down his spine. Yoongi can pretty much feel the blood running to the surface.

Jungkook’s always a brat, always finding a way to get to him, the problem is Yoongi finds himself being pretty vulnerable to it.

“But, hyung~,” Jungkook breaths on his skin and Yoongi gulps down the tension building up on his muscles, “That’s only if you’d think I look hot like that. If you really like it, you know?”

Yoongi feels thankful when the doors slide open and he clears his throat. He’d move his feet to bolt out of the elevator first if his feet didn’t seem to be glued down at the moment. He watches Jungkook, with that stupid smug face of his, walk out first.

As Yoongi follows Jungkook down the hall he tries not to think about it, he really tries not to, but he can’t help it. Jin sets him off, he just knew it’d be like that, he didn’t like the way Jungkook kept singing nothing but praises about the guy. How intelligent, eloquent, caring, or whatever this Jin guy is, how they went out and this and that happened, how Jin knows almost everyone who’s someone around the campus.

Yoongi can’t stop thinking how many times Jin walked down this hall together with Jungkook and this is so fucking silly, but Yoongi can’t get out of his mind how freely Jin acted around Jungkook. This was nothing like someone who sees the other as just a friend and Yoongi’s not sure if Jungkook’s oblivious enough not to see it or if he’s pretending not to. Either way, it doesn't help the case.

Yoongi closes the door behind him and gives a quick look at the apartment’s living room. Everything’s organized and clean, something he knows Jungkook isn’t that good at.

“What?” Jungkook asks, his eyes trained on Yoongi.

“Was it you or your ex- roommate who cleaned the place?” Yoongi wishes he didn’t say it like that, but the words just rolled out of his lips.

“Hyung-” 

Yoongi finds it odd how close Jungkook’s voice sounds, so he looks up only to be caged in by Jungkook’s body and the wall behind him. He didn’t even have the time to take off his shoes.

“Are you jealous, hyung?” Jungkook provokes, stepping closer to Yoongi now pressed with his back flat against the wall. Jungkook had that stupid smug grin pulling the corners of his lips, “Are you thinking of Jin being here with me, is that it?”

Yoongi moves his head and Jungkook presses his hand on the wall next to Yoongi’s head, grinning when their lips brush much to Yoongi’s dismay. Jungkook humms, low and provoking and Yoongi swallows around nothing, taking a sharp breath, his eyes drawn to his boyfriend’s lips molded into that stupid grin Yoongi’s oh-so-tempted to cover with his own lips.

But before he can do anything, Jungkook moves his lips to Yoongi’s ear and Yoongi tries his best to not allow his body to shake with the goosebumps that run under his skin so violently. This is the aftermath of pent-up sexual tension between them and Yoongi knows it. He wants Jungkook just as much as he knows Jungkook wants him. Yoongi has been pushing the boundary and testing Jungkook on it, only to be surprised by the younger’s immediate reaction.

Jungkook’s lips brush on his earlobe just for a moment before he pulls away enough just so all Yoongi can feel is his skin tingling under Jungkook’s breath.

“Hyung,” Jungkook breaths on his skin and chuckles when Yoongi can’t stop the tremble that shakes through him, “Hyung, do you think I’d even think of someone else? Me?”

Yoongi isn’t conscious of Jungkook’s hand sliding down the wall beside him until he feels his hand pulling his body and Yoongi can’t help but to be compliant. His hand reaches up on its own until he has a firm grip on Jungkook’s sleeve. 

“My Yoongi-hyung.”

Yoongi’s eyes close once Jungkook’s lips touch his jaw light as a feather, brushing on the spot as Jungkook’s hand takes a firm grip on his waist, pressing Yoongi’s side to his chest tightly, leaving Yoongi wanting more than that.

“I could never look at some other guy,” Jungkook speaks smoothly against his skin, lowering his lips down Yoongi’s neck, stopping unexpectedly to press his lips at random spots, causing Yoongi’s pulse to jolt and race each time. “Not when I know I can have you.”

Jungkook’s hand slid down Yoongi’s side, finding the hem of the shirt under the jacket. Yoongi’s hand grips tightly on his boyfriend's biceps and he licks his lips. Jungkook glances at Yoongi’s face just enough to see him frowning; swallowing thickly around his words and Jungkook knows what he wants to say.

They’ve been waiting for this, to hold each other, feel each other like this, push the boundaries they couldn’t dare to during that summer break when Jungkook was nothing but an inexcusable, pathetic mess and Yoongi couldn’t, for the life of him, put together a comprehensive sentence right now. Yet, this seems to be going too far too fast, Jungkook knows and he doesn’t want to force anything, but it’s so deliciously pleasing to have Yoongi there for him, so pliant and responsive.

Yoongi feels Jungkook’s fingertips pressing on the small of his back, tracing his skin without pressing yet. Yoongi finds himself edging against him and even though this isn’t supposed to be happening, not now. Maybe Jungkook doesn’t know, maybe he can’t tell, but somewhere under the haze and warmth of the feeling of having Jungkook surrounding him, Yoongi knows this is just too soon.

“I craved you the whole semester, y’know?” Jungkook mutters against his skin and Yoongi tries his best not to close his eyes, it’s what Jungkook wants and he’s not willing to let him have it. “You don’t know how much I keep thinking about how your voice sounds over the phone- I loved seeing your face flushed that day too.”

Yoongi can’t help it, his eyes close before he notices as he feels Jungkook nibbling on his skin, at a particular soft spot near his clavicle. He fists Jungkook’s jacket and feels the smug grin pressed on his skin and he wants to complain, but all he’s able to muster is a deep groan that has Jungkook humming along as if they’re singing  a song together. Yoongi hates this as much as he wants to keep it going.

“I keep thinking about that one time you called me drunk in the middle of the night, hyung~” The words color Yoongi’s mind with blurry faint memories, the embarrassment of what happened serves off a remedy to make him snap out of this trace, just enough to get him to think of saying something.

His lips part even if he doesn’t know what he’d say and Yoongi hears the sound of a struggled gasp falls from his own lips when Jungkook all knowingly pressing an open-mouthed kiss on his pulse while his arm circle his middle underneath the shirt and his hand now presses harder on his skin. This is ridiculous, it’s nothing much. Yet, Yoongi can’t help himself. He loses himself in Jungkook’s warmth just as easily.

But, next thing he knows, he can’t feel Jungkook anymore, even so, Yoongi’s still into that haze Jungkook wrapped him in, still too lost to see through it all and Jungkook gives him a moment. He stands there, watching this new side of Yoongi; once he sees his hyung is stable again, Jungkook pulls away and he can see the confusion in Yoongi’s eyes looking for him. Jungkook wishes he didn’t have to stop there, but there’s still time.

Jungkook walks away with one of his soft smiles, taking a last look at how flustered Yoongi looks pressed up against that wall, pretending his fingertips doesn’t still tingle, craving for the touch of Yoongi’s skin again. He just has to pretend to not be that much affected and it’s not easy.

“I’ll put your things in my room,” he speaks up, not sure if Yoongi actually hears him, then he leaves before he can get any response. Yoongi could very well ask to stay in the other room and Jungkook doesn’t want that.

Yoongi runs his hands over his face and groans, this time disapprovingly of himself. He doesn’t recall how it started, but he’s relieved Jungkook seems to understand, or, at least, Yoongi hopes he does. Jungkook has always been a brat and he could’ve stopped just because he felt like it, but Yoongi wanted to think it’s because he understood. He pushes himself off the wall and finds himself lost inside the rather small apartment.

“I cleaned it because I knew you’d nag at me, hyung,” Jungkook says ever so casually as he walks in the living room again, as if what just happened was nothing but a speck of Yoongi’s imagination that came out vivid enough to leave the burn on his skin where Jungkook had touched him, “Are you hungry?”

Yoongi swallows, fighting off the awkwardness of not quite knowing what to do with himself and he sees Jungkook grinning to himself as he steps into the kitchen area.

“Why? Did you cook?” Yoongi didn’t even try to hide his skepticism and chose to sit on the couch, he looks down only to see Jungkook’s notebook open on top of a stack of books. He skims the page and naturally doesn’t understand a word.

“I’m living alone for over a year now, hyung,” Jungkook points out and looks back only to see Yoongi running his hand on the back of his neck, to make himself feel better. “If you’re tired just lay down a bit, I just have to heat this up. I’ll call you when I’m done.”

Yoongi can hear Jungkook saying something about the bed, but to him, the couch sounds good enough. He tries to keeps his eyes open just a little while, just to drawn in the sound of Jungkook in the kitchen; different than what Yoongi imagined, Jungkook’s not loud, he barely makes any noise and he doesn know if he’s trying to be quiet or this is who he is while cooking. Just one of the things Yoongi would like to find out over these weeks. He hears the fridge being opened and the knife slicing the vegetables, hitting the cutting board and the place’s small and quiet enough for Yoongi to hear the shuffle of Jungkook’s bare feet on the floor and he sleeps with an unexpected reassurance.

⇽ part 01 | epilogue ⇾

[rainbowchip2003]

“and you’re ugly, just like your mom”

for @misslivvie !

word count: 1646

november 2nd, 2019

10:25am

*third person*

it was a typical morning in casablanca plaza. all of the staff had gathered in, and were going through their opening routines. in wild side inkorporated, it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. vince is always the last to show up, so it was just the tattoo artists for now. luna was making today’s playlist, while billy scribbled a design on some scrap paper. lennon, a nonbinary newbie, sanitized their station.

“what day is it?” billy asked lennon. 

“saturday.” they confirmed as they checked the clock. billy’s eyes drifted to the side in realization, while luna ran a hand through her multicolored mane.

“oh, shit.” she whispered.

“what?”

“we never told you this, but vince brings his daughter to work on the first saturday of each month!” lennon chuckled at the mental picture of the two hiding from a little kid.

“i’m sure it’s nothing to worry about?” the rookie giggled once more.

“imagine veruca salt but, like, maybe 5% less stable.” just then, vince came in with his daughter, liesl, ready for a new day at the tattoo parlor. liesl had her mom’s auburn waves, and her dad’s smile. she stared at her tablet, ears covered by a pair of lol surprise headphones. liesl even had a small, glittery purse shaped like a unicorn!

“morning!” vince waved before taking off his leather jacket, and helping liesl with her pink coat.

“good morning, vince!” the artists chimed in nearly perfect unison. the ginger never looked up from whatever was on her screen.

“...and liesl.” luna muttered. lennon took the opportunity to introduce themselves; they bent down to her level, and put on their friendliest voice.

“nice to meet you, leisl!” they said with a warm grin.

“...hi.” liesl greeted. unlike most children her age, she seemed unfazed by their punk appearance.

“i don’t think we’ve met; my name is lennon!” lennon put out their hand to shake, which she accepted.

“lemon?” the little girl asked.

“no, lennon, with an “n”.” they laughed it off, it was a common mistake.

“daddy, how much longer until the shops open?” liesl already started her whining kick.

“riiight about…” vince looked at the giant clock on the wall, only seconds away from opening time. “now!” at last, it finally struck 10:30, and casablanca plaza was officially open!! “here’s $20, go crazy.” vince handed her three $5 bills, and five singles. 

liesl let out a cheer as she ran out the door. whether her father was being sarcastic was a mystery; but alas, she took his word as gospel. in vince’s eyes, $20 was nothing; but to any six year old, it was winning the lottery! ironically, there was a patch on vince’s jacket that read “greatest father in the galaxy” under liesl’s birthdate.

she blended in with the first flood of shoppers just fine. liesl only gets to visit casablanca once a month, so she has to make the most of every trip. how does she do so, you ask? nothing much, she just makes people’s day a living hell. no one questions vince on why he lets his young daughter run around unsupervised. 

liesl’s first stop was thunderbolt coffeehouse, where she has her own signature drink. the beverage in question is 6oz of water mixed with the tiniest splash of white chocolate syrup. because it’s basically nothing, liesl only had to pay a dollar. having just opened, tommy was the only person in the store.

“good morning, liesl! the usual?” he adjusted his burgundy visor with a lightning bolt sewed on it.

“you know it!” she left a dollar on the counter to pay. tommy prepared liesl’s first of many mall treats. behind the display case, liesl noticed some brown and orange squares sitting atop a doily. “what are those?”

“pumpkin cheesecake bars.”

“i want one!” she demanded as she tapped the sneeze guard.

“you’re only allowed your special drink.” tommy said softly, yet firmly: “ ‘cause you nearly bought the place out, remember?” he referred to her first visit, where she blew all her money on thunderbolt fare, and didn’t finish most of it.

“can’t you make one exception for your favorite customer?” even liesl’s best puppy eyes weren’t charming enough for him!

“i’m afraid not.” luckily, tommy has more patience for her than anyone else in the mall.

“you’re so inconsiderate!” leisl scoffed as she folded her arms.

“it’s just what your dad told me-” tommy sighed.

“and you’re ugly, just like your mom.”

“sorry to hear that, have a free cheesecake bar.” he forked over the seasonal goodie, knowing mr. simmons would freak if he caught him. but hey, if it’ll get the twerp to zip it! she swallowed one bite of the pumpkin bar, and shoved it into her purse.

on her way to poisonous novelties, she saw that dee, her youth group leader, was here! she went over to his little cart, where he handed out pamphlets promoting the church.

“hi, mr. snider!” she doesn’t often see him anywhere other than the chapel.

“hi, liesl!” although she was the problem child of dee’s youth group, he still treated her with the same amount of respect as anyone else. “excited for service? as a belated halloween treat, we’re watching wishbone in the legend of sleepy hollow!”

“never heard of it.” liesl shrugged.

“i used to watch wishbone as a kid; i think you’ll like it.”

“are you giving out zebra cakes, or oatmeal pies after?” part of the only reason she even bothered going to service was because of the snacks dee would hand out.

“popcorn!” 

“ooh, i can’t wait!” “i’ll see you tomorrow!” dee waved to her, and went back to work. if only dee knew how she treated everyone else....

she went up the escalator, and ran into the candy store so fast, she didn’t notice bobby sitting behind the counter! her main priority was getting as many sweets as she could while staying within her budget.

“did you have a fun halloween?” he attempted to make some friendly small talk.

“yeah, i went as butterbean!” she boasted as she got a paper bag, “my costume had shoes, and wings, and even a wig!”

“that’s so cool!” bobby started to approach the young girl. “i, uh, was barney, the purple dinosaur!” he lied. the poisonous novelties gang actually went as steel panther, with him as lexxi. leisl was barely listening, as she wasted no time shoving random stuff to the bag. “don’t you still have halloween candy?”

“traded most of it.” suddenly, liesl reached into the container of marshmallow bananas, and started picking out the fluffiest ones with her bare hands! 

“can you not-”

“nobody eats these anyway!”

“you didn’t use the tongs, so you have to pay for that entire thing!” he wished he could be as intimidating and strong as bret, but didn’t have the confidence.

“how much?” at this point, liesl found it was best to accept her fate.

“$15.”

“can i keep them?” she asked as she handed bobby some wadded up dollars. his lips widened into an almost taunting smile, and just shook his head no.

liesl made her way to the foodcourt; she had just enough money for a basket of cheese fries. she topped the greasy goodness with ketchup, regular and lite mayo, and barbeque sauce. she walked to kiss kosmetics, on the other side of the mall, as she ate. liesl stood outside the door to find vinnie texting, while paul helped a customer match their foundation.

“you need to finish that before you go inside!” vinnie exclaimed, setting down his phone. the basket wobbled in her hand as she carried it with only four fingers. 

“i’ll be careful, i promise!” as predicted, liesl tripped over nothing and fell face first. she dropped the unholy sauce with a side of fries onto the once pristine white tiles. liesl rolled onto her back on the floor, and whined like she was half her age.

“if you think you’re getting out of here scottfree, you are sorely mistaken!” although paul didn’t have kids, he went full dad mode!

“i do what i want!!” liesl stamped her feet in exasperation. she made such a scene that someone started to leave!

“i’m calling your dad!” paul had both parents on speed dial, just in case. saturday used to be his favorite day of the week, but thanks to her, it’s thursday!

“get to cleaning.” vinnie rested some napkins and a spray bottle of tile cleaner on her stomach.

liesl dragged herself up and hastily began to pick up her mess.

“yeah, vince? this is paul; you’ll never believe what your daughter did today!” the tantruming redhead slammed the bottle on the floor. “we keep telling her not to come in with food, and she did anyway! she dropped whatever she was eating, and now she’s refusing to clean up.”

“i’m getting grounded for falling?” liesl threw her head back.

“you don’t think i know about what happened at the candy store?”

“what’d she do?” vince asked on the other line.

“i got a text from bobby saying that she took out all the marshmallow bananas with her hands. your wife needs to pick her up before she causes any more chaos.” 

“put her on.” paul came out, and brought the phone to her ear. “liesl, what did i tell you about manners?!” 

“there weren’t any signs…”

“you don’t need signs, you need common sense!” paul rolled his eyes.

“you march to the parlor, get your jacket, and you’re getting in mom’s car without a fight, do you hear me?!” 

“yes, daddy…” she sniffled. “bye, guys.” leisl hung her head as she left the store pathetically sobbing.

“good riddance!” paul sighed in relief, more than proud of himself for successfully setting the little brat straight.

[dalekofchaos]

My problems with LIS:BTS

I love Before the Storm, but I do have some problems with the game in relation to the first game. Here I will explain the problems i had with BTS and why I think Deck Nine did not understand the characters. This is very long, if anyone has the time to read it all, I’d like you to finish to the end! 

1. Continuity issues

Rachel’s parents. I always got the feeling Rachel’s parents were neglectful, which REALLY showed when Chloe said they are in denial that Rachel is missing. Rachel having neglectful parents and Chloe having an abusive stepfather and abuse enabling mother, would show just why Rachel and Chloe wants to leave Arcadia Bay. What happens in BTS? Rachel has kind and loving parents and a bio mom that is a horrible representation of drug addiction(everything about how D9 wrote Sera sends a horrible message, wtf D9?) and all of sudden James just pretends that Rachel isn’t missing? The fuck? Also, Rachel’s parents are not called James or Rose. Rachel’s student information we see in Episode 3 about her parents is not readable, but he Initial letters of the names written within the Parent(s) field on Rachel’s file do not appear to match the names James or Rose (or even Sera)

Rachel’s address. Rachel’s  Blackwell Student Information Sheet shows Rachel’s home address. Rachel Amber has an address of “6 Sa(?)u/n(?)tle Road, Arcadia Bay, Oregon”. There is a piece of paper covering the Home Address field, but we can make out a “gon” from the end of “Oregon”, so we know it is within the state. As her address in the top-right corner is different to what appears to be the dormitory address on the other student files, we can assume that “6 Sa(?)u/n(?)tle Road” is implying her home address (just like on Chloe’s file). However, in Before the Storm, her home address is 2420 Blackfriars Road, Arcadia Bay, Oregon.

My friend/one of  my Amberprice favs @thelittle-scribbler​‘s idea of Rachel’s parents makes more sense. “the idea I had of Rachel is that she was a relocated student from Cali from a very problematic absent family who didn’t give a fuck about her, coz well they gave up looking for her! And if her dad was the city da, he would have never gave up on the search and also, he would have known about her being involved with drug dealers. Unless he got his ass fired after hiring those guys to kill his ex wife lol”

Chloe’s blue hair. In Episode 3 of Before the Storm, Chloe is shown dyeing her hair blue for the very first time. However, we know that in Life is Strange, Chloe had been dyeing her hair with a blue streak on or before her 16th birthday (two months before Before the Storm takes place). indicating that Chloe had already been using blue dye in her hair by the time of her 16th birthday. It would have made more sense if we had seen Chloe with a blue streak in Before the Storm Episode 1.

Max’s contact of Chloe. "You were happy to wait five years without a call, or even a text.“ In Before the Storm’s Episode 1, "Awake,” Chloe’s phone clearly shows that Max has been texting her during her time in Seattle and had even initiated text messaging after admitting to being “bad about emailing”. Max has texted Chloe on the following dates in November 2009: 2nd, 13th, and 28th. Max was supposed to have not emailed, called or text Chloe ever since she left for Seattle, it should end in  9/28/2008, but it began again a year later.

Joyce and David’s relationship.  In Before the Storm, David and Joyce are currently unmarried and had started dating not that long before the game’s events that are set in May 2010 (Chloe is 16 years old at this time). David is also about to move in to the Price household, which is seen happening by Episode 3. But in Life is Strange, a chronological timestreammontage shows that Joyce and David were already married before Chloe’s 16th birthday. A picture of a married Joyce and David appears prior to an image of Chloe on her 16th birthday in this timestream montage

The Blackwell problem. Victoria Chase’s sole reason for being at Blackwell is Mark Jefferson. Jeffershit is not in BTS. Victoria is introduced as a sophomore at Blackwell Academy in Before the Storm and wants to be in theater for…reasons, but the age for Victoria in the first game suggests she should be a freshman in BTS. Warren is a Blackwell student at age 13. Max is said to be a sophmore with Chloe in her own school in Seattle at the time, but problem there is Max turned 14 in 2009 after the September 1st cutoff date. This means that she wouldn’t be starting high school until September the following year (fall 2010). The normal age requirement to start high school as a freshman is age 14 (i.e. turning 14 before the September 1st cutoff). It is currently unknown why Max has advanced two grades in 2010. She has a 2.8 GPA on her 2013 student information sheet, which suggests she is a low B / C / high D student (not an exemplary student). Her GPA is also said to fluctuate and she acknowledged in 2013 that she should be doing better. and there’s the fact that Chloe is in Blackwell with some of the characters in the first game  and dialogue (or text messages) between these characters seems to suggest that she did not know them as fellow students or even classmates prior to the original game’s events. For example, Stella is in Chloe’s class photo, problem with that is that Stella doesn’t even know who Chloe is, she just refers to her as “some girl” Warren. Warren does not know who Chloe is at the beginning of Episode 2, yet in BTS class photo he is seen with Chloe.  Other dialogue gives the impression that Warren does not know Chloe beforehand. For example, the text messages Max receives from Warren in Episode 4 if she kissed Chloe/but declined Warren’s invitation to the drive-in or didn’t kiss Chloe/ but accepted Warren’s invitation.  There is no mention of the fact he knows Chloe from when she was going to Blackwell, her complete change of appearance, or that he’s surprised that Max knows her too! There are also a couple of points in Life is Strange where, if Warren knew Chloe from the past, he would have likely opened a dialogue with her about that it’s good to see her again or even asking how life is outside Blackwell. Not even Chloe seems to recognize Warren, as she refers to him simply as “your friend” to Max. Justin.  When Max encounters Justin at the Blackwell Campus in the first episode of Life is Strange, “Chrysalis”, she has the option to talk with him about Rachel and “her punk friend”, as Max does not yet know the identity of the blue-haired punk girl that she had saved in the bathroom earlier. "I can’t remember her name… But she was hot. Tats. Blue hair. Hardcore. She stopped hanging out with us after Rachel disappeared… or ran away.“ As we see in Life is Strange, Justin refers to Chloe in a very vague way as Rachel’s "punk friend” and as though he only knows her second-hand through Rachel. Yet the Before the Storm prequel game puts Justin in the same Blackwell student photograph as Chloe (standing directly in front of her), furthermore implying they are in the same classes. He would have had frequent contact with Chloe as a classmate of just that handful of students. Also in Before the Storm, Chloe interacts with Justin at Blackwell and they seem very familiar with each other. Justin refers to her as both “Chlo-ee” and “Price”, so he definitely knows both her first name and surname. They also are texting with each other in Before the Storm. Then again, they ARE friendly with each other in episode 4, Justin not remembering who she is in episode 1 might be the case of him being blazed and just narratively teasing Max of the girl she saved. Nathan. In Life is Strange Episode 1’s Cliff chapter, Max will ask Chloe about Nathan. Chloe will tell Max:“I met him in some shithole bar that didn’t card me. He was too rich for the place and too wasted. And he kept flashing bills…” in Before The Storm, Chloe knows Nathan from Blackwell.  but the way she describes her predicament to Max sounds like she is describing her first impressions from the first time she ever met or had one-to-one dealings with him (i.e. no previous encounters before that).

Chloe is left handed in the first game and right handed in BTS. Yes she does use her left in some points, but Chloe’s dominant hand in the first game is her left hand. Throughout BTS, Chloe smokes and drinks with her right hand, lights the Amber House candles with her right hand and even writes graffiti with her right hand. In the first game Chloe smokes and drinks with her left hand and lockpicks with her left hand. DONTNOD confirmed she was left handed. I am just baffled by this decision. The only time I remember Chloe using her left hand as her dominant hand in BTS is when she burns evidence for Damon.

Chloe is expelled in 2011 in the first game. Chloe is expelled in 2010 for BTS. Max looks at a report card in Chloe’s bedroom which shows that Chloe was still attending Blackwell Academy up until the end of her junior year, which was in May 2011. BTS gives us the choice to defend Rachel and get expelled or suspended if you don’t. There is also no mention by the Principal of a recent suspension for “spray-painting graffiti in the parking lot” as was clearly mentioned on her school file in his office in Life is Strange, nor any mention of the “police reports.” Although the suspension is temporary and she is to be hopefully reinstated in the fall to start her junior year on condition of her good behavior, the suspension was not over graffiti. Being expelled in 2010 completely contradicts the circumstances of the original game, and the suspension (although being the least non-canon consequence) is over the wrong reasons. Even if Chloe was suspended, it is not unreasonable to believe that she would be expelled anyway over the extensive graffiti she left in the bathroom.

Chloe being good at chemistry. It is never stated in her report card in the first game if she were ever good at chemistry. Chloe comes off as someone who doesn’t care about getting grades, hell Chloe seems only interested in the Arts class as shown in her report card. A friend pointed out to me it kind of feels like “BtS took away a lot from Warren, as if it were a "competition" "Warren is good at chemistry" and so the BtS crew thought "Let's make Chloe good at chemistry too!" Another point is also that Warren has green as his personal color, and in Farewell Chloe he wears a green shirt. Chloe in episode 1 uses Warren's phrase "Power". I don't know, I felt like they took things from Warren to give to Chloe, and that really pissed me off.”

Chloe knows about Pompidou’s name despite not knowing the pupper’s name in the first game. Also "The only way you know my dog’s name is if you broke into my RV.“ Why would he say that if he told Chloe Pompidou’s name?

Frank was just a drug dealer to Chloe and who she and Rachel hung out with in the past. Now Frank kills someone to protect Chloe. Chloe and Frank are not friends. 

2. The first LIS game told a different story for Chloe and Rachel’s relationship

Chloe’s “Rachel was my angel” comment showed a lot to how Chloe loved Rachel and how much she meant to her.  Chloe tells Max that Rachel entered her life when was at her absolute lowest and that it was she who helped her deal with the grief of having lost her father but the entire game is centered around Chloe being the one who is supporting Rachel as she deals with a serious family drama of her own.  What Before The Storm should have been. Rachel helping lift Chloe through the worse point of her life. If Rachel had stopped Chloe from committing suicide… as was the commonly believed interpretation to what happened between Chloe and Rachel up until BtS, then Chloe’s ”“she was my angel” would have meant it was truly special and real. But instead they bump into each other at an illegal concert and Rachel distracted some thug who works for Damon and we spend the game finding out who Sera is in a reveal we all saw it coming and only to have Rachel taken out of the third episode where Rachel never talks to her and makes the whole thing feel pointless. What the game should have been was Chloe and Rachel together having fun rocking out, becoming girlfriends and Chloe starting to live again and show that Chloe Price loves Rachel Amber and Rachel loves Chloe.

3. Deck Nine did not understand Chloe.

I don’t feel that Deck Nine did Chloe justice. The writers attempt to evoke empathy with Chloe feeling grief which is done via exactly one emotion- which is a very childish understanding of how loss and coping works. She had no character arc, considering she was the exact same character that we already knew in LiS Episode 1 (A bitter disaffected teenage youth with no regard for authority) so we didn’t get to see Chloe evolve into the character we loved in the first game. She just already was it.  The gameplay undid the narrative we were given about Chloe being a loner in that you can talk to and make friends with pretty much anybody and they all acted like they liked and were genuinely happy to see Chloe. Very rarely were there interactions with Blackwell students that ended with Chloe’s presence not being welcomed, only Wells, Victoria and Nathan showed contempt for Chloe(even with Nathan that goes away when he claps for her at the play)  The reason this is done is because the game wouldn’t be fun if Chloe actually was a loner. The core mechanic of Life is Strange is being able to talk to people and experiment with your surroundings. A game where nobody wanted to talk to Chloe works against the core mechanic. But in making her the main character it undoes the weight of the narrative of Chloe being alone until Rachel/Max. I just strongly feel that Deck Nine did not understand Chloe as a character and did not do her justice. We should’ve gotten Chloe at her lowest, evolving from Max’s best friend to the character we know in the first game and Rachel helping lift Chloe through the worse point of her life.  Chloe and Rachel together having fun rocking out and Chloe starting to live again and show that Chloe Price loves Rachel Amber and Rachel loves Chloe. Chloe losing Rachel and showing how Chloe has to deal with Rachel missing, how she became in debt to Frank and how she got involved with Nathan and how Chloe ends up in the bathroom. 

4. There is no plot...until the last minute

The biggest problem I have with BTS is there is absolutely no plot. In the first game we absolutely KNEW what the plot was. There was a storm, a missing person/serial killer and all of our friends have problems that Max has to help them with. In Before The Storm....there really is nothing. We go to a concert and because we ruined an asshole’s shirt, we were threatened and saved because Rachel was there. Then the rest of episode 1 spends on spending time with Rachel. Same with episode 2. They only gave the plot at the last minute cause Deck Nine probably went “oh shit, we just realized we don’t have a fucking plot” then we spend the majority of the game trying to get the identity of the woman Rachel’s scumbag father was seen kissing. Turns out the girl is Rachel’s biological mother! James and Sera's story doesn’t make any sense. He still loves her, gives her a final goodbye kiss and then orders some drug dealer to kill her because she was a drug addict?! Damon was hired to kill Sera and protect Rachel, but stabs her instead?! He wants Sera to die because she was a former addict....despite Sera wanting to be clean and Sera doesn’t want her to ruin Rachel’s life???? What kind of fucking message is that to send to people struggling with addiction??? They dropped the fact that Sera was supposed to have powers and it was passed down to Rachel and that Rachel is the storm. Hell, Rachel was taken out of the final episode 90% of the fucking episode. Damon was a lazy thrown at the last minute villain. The first game shows you what’s at stake right away, with Before The Storm there’s no clear danger, conflict or mystery. We only get it halfway through the second episode and even then it’s a bad mystery and conflict and  if it takes that long to add conflict or mystery, then I really think they failed the game. The best parts about the game are Amberprice, episode 2, Steph, Mikey & Drew and Samantha. But that’s kind of it. Before The Storm was kind of a disappointment. 

5. Forced to give David a chance

Deck Nine doesn’t understand that Chloe does not have a good relationship with David, or even Joyce. Deck Nine forces us to be nice to David and every time we choose to pick the most Chloe like choice we are punished.  The game outright makes us look like jerks for being true to Chloe’s character regarding David.  Deck Nine screwed up everything when it came to Chloe and David. Before even meeting David in episode 1, Chloe’s only complaint is he calls her “girly” that...that’s it? The only thing I felt they got right was his comment about  “vacation from not having a father figure” and saying he’ll show what a stable home is like.  The way he said that he can FINALLY show Chloe what a stabilized home looks like…..like she didn’t have a stable home when her father was alive. That really got under my skin. But let me explain, Deck Nine did not understand Chloe’s relationship with David and did their best to villainize Chloe for not giving him a chance. I do not want to feel bad for David. Stop trying to make us feel bad for this abusive piece of shit and make Chloe out to be the villain for not giving this asshole a chance.  He emotionally, mentally and physically abuses her and joyce normalizes it, violates her privacy, installs cameras in the house without her or Joyce’s knowledge cause he will not trust her and Rachel,  David makes Chloe feel like a prisoner in her own home. David getting a job at Blackwell makes her want to get expelled, whenever he is around she does not feel safe. He makes her so afraid that she feels like she’s living with a Nazi. They are not meant to have a good relationship. As for Joyce. The fandom likes to paint Joyce as this great mother to Chloe, and she was when William was alive but she chose her own happiness and interests over the safety and well being of her own daughter. Joyce enabled an abusive stepfather and ignored her daughter being hit and verbally abused (and there is a word for that: culpability. Joyce is guilty of child abuse. If we do not back up Chloe in episode 1 and we tell Joyce David hit Chloe, Joyce just brushes it off like it’s not a big deal…and this is who the fandom perceives as a good mother? What Deck Nine should have done is have it open with it stated that Joyce and David are married.  Chloe’s life is a living hell. David does not understand nor does he care about Chloe’s depression and grief for losing William and Max moving away. Show that David physically, mentally and emotionally abuses her. Joyce normalizes it like saying “you keep pushing him, what did you think was gonna happen” you might think that’s out of character for Joyce, but she put her own interests over the safety and stability of her own child. Joyce didn’t want to be alone anymore, so she settled down with the first guy that came her way. The abuse is normalized in their household and Chloe’s definitely internalized it. Keep in David’s comment about “vacation from not having a father figure” David violates her trust and feelings and boundaries and bosses her around and calling her a loser who has no friends and burdens her mother. Show why Chloe is terrified of him to the point where she labels him a Nazi and to the point she feels like he will kill her if he finds Max in her room, so make a hint that David starts to put surveillance around the house because of his unwillingness to trust Chloe and Rachel. Chloe and David do not have a good relationship and fuck Deck Nine for making us feel bad and look bad for not giving David a chance. Fuck you.

6. The choices D9 made with Nathan make no sense.

I already explained why Nathan being in Blackwell with Chloe doesn’t make any sense, but the choices Deck 9 did with Nathan doesn’t explain anything about the character he would become in the first LIS. If Nathan had to be in the game, I don’t think Samantha should’ve been in the game. Nathan’s social circle is Rachel, Victoria and Hayden. There is no missing persons posters in Arcadia Bay aside from Rachel. Samantha being the first Dark Room victim does not hold up. And that’s the problem, we don’t get to see Nathan being friendly with Rachel, Victoria or Hayden. We see him being bullied by Drew North. Wouldn’t it make much more sense for Nathan and Victoria to be bullying Drew and Mikey and Chloe and Steph defending them and Nathan and Victoria trying to get Chloe expelled for that? Okay if what they were trying to do was  a timid Nathan who slowly gets to become the king of Blackwell who was being mentally and emotionally abused by Sean and Jefferson, it did not work. We never see Nathan with his friends. We never see Nathan with Rachel aside from one picture. We do not get to see Nathan and Hayden. Nathan and Victoria are as close as brother and sister, we never get to see that and I think that’s where BTS failed Nathan. Hell, if they were to keep Nathan’s character as it were in BTS, I think Chloe and Nathan should have been friends. I cannot find the video because the person who made it deleted their YouTube account, but a few years ago when BTS was first out, someone made a video suggesting that Chloe and Nathan could’ve been friends in Blackwell. The video was SO convincing that I was so on board with the idea and Samantha pointing out how similar they are. If Hell Is Empty wasn’t a bad episode, maybe they could’ve gave Chloe and Nathan a chance to talk. depending on our choices it could go good or bad. If it goes bad, then they remain on bad terms. But if they are on good terms depending on our choices, you are given a choice to choose to become friends with Nathan. They bond over their similar music taste, their mutual love for Rachel and find common ground with everyone expecting the worst out of them and their abusive father/stepfather. And Nathan could thank Chloe for stepping up for him. And they share a smoke together. I think Chloe and Nathan being friends before their lives goes on a downward spiral and hits rockbottom would’ve been nice and sure as hell would’ve been better than giving Chloe, Stalky McFuckboy as a “friend” instead

7. Deck Nine does not understand Rachel Amber

I don’t feel that Deck Nine understands Rachel Amber as a character or understands what made the fanbase love her from the first game. Rachel is a character shrouded in mystery. The vibe I got from Chloe indicates that Rachel Amber saved her at her lowest and made her feel like she could live again. I also got the vibe that Rachel had neglectful parents who cared very little of her and Rachel was tired of the pressures of being little ms perfect and the bullying she suffers at Blackwell. So Chloe and Rachel wanted to be free from Arcadia Bay. Chloe wanted to be free of an abusive step-father and her mother who allows the abuse to go on and Rachel wanted to be free from everything at Arcadia Bay. Started a knew life as a model in LA. It was their Santa Monica Dream. The characterization of Rachel Amber in BTS just feels like D9 does not understand Rachel. Rachel Amber is meant to be a morally grey character. There are hints that she wasn’t this perfect angel Chloe thought she was and then backed away from that perspective out of fear fans would be angry at their depiction of Rachel. Rachel Amber who I knew in the first game was just not there. She had no interesting perspective or enlightenment to offer to Chloe or be the positive force to Chloe or even showed why she was this mysterious chameleon who fit in so perfectly with everyone who was adored by everyone. She was just a pretty looking character model with a great voice actress that would sometimes say very wistful, wide-eyed things. She would also quote boring poetry. Rachel in BTS has no aspiration to be a model and instead of Rachel helping Chloe deal with her grief, the game makes it about Chloe helping Rachel with her family drama. We never get to see Rachel meet Joyce(Joyce in LIS makes it seem like her and Rachel got along) we never get to see Rachel defending Chloe from David or Rachel as this ambiguous character. She’s portrayed as this character that must be protected at all costs, like she’s neither ambiguous nor does she have any agency. It is perfectly okay to show her drift away from Chloe.  Yes they were in love and had this great relationship and they loved each other. It’s important to see and know the people we romanticize are not who we thought they were. Rachel was looking for a way out of Arcadia Bay. She first thought both her and Chloe can escape to LA together. But over time she did not think that was possible anymore. Chloe dodges her car payments and her family is in debt and Chloe is in debt to Frank. She still wants to leave with Chloe, but Rachel needed an alternative way so she and Chloe can escape. So Rachel turned to Frank, she used him for her drugs because as  time goes on, Rachel turns to drugs to numb the pain. She parties with The Vortex Club and as Nathan said “Rachel partied like a fiend on her own.” Hell, she was so desperate to leave Arcadia Bay she even asked the trucker to take her to LA. Then, Rachel meets Mark Jefferson. Rachel saw him as her way to LA. She wanted to have her pictures modeled by a professional, which he was, but Rachel never saw him for what he was. A sheep in wolf’s clothing, a monster. He saw her as the perfect subject. A human chameleon with many visual possibilities and he felt they had a connection. Manipulating her into believing that he is the father figure that James never was for her. Rachel wrote a letter to Chloe in the shack but discarded it. She feels that he changed her life but the discarded letter shows that she felt ashamed about the whole relationship. Her shame indicates that she was apart of the Dark Room. At first she just saw it as a big photography project outside of school, but then Rachel started to look into Jefferson’s past models and figured out something was wrong. In Jefferson’s own words “Not like Rachel, who was always looking in the wrong places. Poor Rachel.” Jefferson of course finds out because The Dark Room is under 24 hours surveillance. So out of fear of Rachel telling everyone, Jefferson kills Rachel, doses Nathan and poses Nathan’s unconscious body with Rachel’s lifeless body. The vibe I got from the first game is that Rachel and Chloe have this very important and special bond. But Rachel just wanted to be free of Arcadia Bay by any means necessary. Rachel would go far to get what she wanted. Someone who is willing to lie to the people she cared about to satisfy her own needs and goals. Personally, I see Rachel as being okay with manipulating everybody BUT Chloe, which gives everybody a foothold to try and gaslight Chloe and Max about her, trying to get them to doubt that Rachel genuinely cared about Chloe.  Rachel wanted a way out and she thought she had her way out, but in the end she played with fire and got burned.

8. The last episode

It was lazily thrown together. The actual GOOD aspects were cut altogether. Rachel does  not dye Chloe’s hair. Chloe and Rachel do not work on the truck together. Rachel does not stand up for Chloe against David. Rachel and Chloe do not kick Eliot’s fuckboy ass. Rachel has to be taken care of instead of Chloe and Rachel working together to save Sera. All the good Amberprice stuff is in the montages. Hell Is Empty was a huge disappointment.

9. Unlike Max, Chloe has no agency in defeating the villain of the game.

The difference between LIS and BTS is the player has a hand in defeating their villains, while in BTS, we do not. Max Caulfield who was tied up and was about to be killed, guides David in defeating and capturing her abuser and villain of her story Mark Jefferson. Max is instrumental in defeating the villain of her story. Chloe Price is knocked unconscious and saved for doing nothing while Frank kills Damon Merrick off screen. Chloe is not instrumental or has any agency in leading to the defeat of the villain(the rushed villain at the last second) of her story

10. Farewell. 

While Farewell is cute and tragic to play, it ultimately does not make any sense. If this is the same day as Max’s last moment with William and before Joyce comes home to tell Chloe the news of William, WHY are Max and Chloe in different outfits? Wouldn’t it make more sense for this to be Max’s last day in Arcadia Bay instead of the last day of William? I feel this especially cause in the BTS Graffiti side of the notebook, it is shown that there is one final episode under episode 3, I kind of feel like this was meant for Farewell and it was meant to be Max’s Farewell, but something changed. It also kind of comes off as wanting the player to hate Max for not staying to say goodbye. What I would prefer is this takes place on Max’s last day in Arcadia Bay and despite William’s accident, Chloe wants to do her best to make sure her best friend gets the best damn send off before her farewell. And Max and Chloe part on good terms instead of Max’s asshole father preventing Max from saying goodbye lol

[thehopefuldandelion]

Not Him

Thank you @tindomrl​ for nagging my lazy butt to write this.

here for ao3. here for fanfiction.net

everlark.

I do not own any of these characters:)

***

“No, not him. Not fucking Peeta Mellark. He can’t be here.” I whisper to Annie while smoothing down my blazer and dress pants.

Peeta Mellark. The epitome to my existence. I am content, I have a steady boyfriend and a soon to be great job. He can’t be here to ruin it.

It all started on a balmy, summer day in 2nd grade. He pushed me off those darned yellow swings causing painful scrapes to appear on my knees and rough mulch to tangle in my hair. We grew up together in Panem, a small town in Oregon. I always liked him even though we never talked. And then that fucker pushed me off the swings. I know what you are thinking, “Katniss you were a little girl get over it”. There were other instances. In middle school, he won the award of having the most attendance which I was second to by 1 singular day. Darned flu. Or in Sophomore year when he spilled punch all over my dress at Homecoming on purpose. It gets even better, though. I was Valedictorian for our Senior Class and guess what he did when he found out. He stole my cap and gown. I’m not shitting you. He did and I will never forget it. This is why I hate Peeta Mellark. He’s a stickup, selfish prick and I, Katniss Everdeen, will never forgive him.

“Katniss, I’m sure he just works here,”she said reassuringly.“I doubt he’s here for the interview”.

“I hope so,” I mumbled under my breath.

My attention is focused on the man who had just come out of an office. No way. No fuckin’ way. How was I supposed to know that the very company I wanted a job at, was CEO’d by none other than Peeta Mellark. He looks around the room and locks eyes with me before saying,“Thank you all for coming today. As you are aware I am in need of a new secretary because my past employee is on maternity leave. Good luck!”

And with that Peeta Mellark walks back into his office, and calls the first interviewee in.

It seems that 2 hours pass until I am called in. I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants and take a deep breath. Why am I so nervous? What if he remembers me? Oh god. What if he brings it-

“Ms. Everdeen, I presume?”he asks cutting into my thoughts.

“Yes that is correct,”I respond while shaking his warm, calloused hand.

I briefly look up and lock eyes with him. Oh, those blue eyes and floppy curls. How did I ever hate this man. His past slender teenage figure has evened out, shown through the broad shoulders and muscular arms that make up his physique. He is hot. No not just hot, beautiful. Katniss, snap out of it. You have a boyfriend for God sakes. You loathe him.

“Wait...Katniss?”Peeta inquires with a glowing look on his face.

I pause, thinking of how to go about this. Do I pretend not to know him. This could cost me a job. Ah, what do I do?

“Peeta. It’s so good to see you again. How has life been treating you?”

“It’s been what, 7 years? Wow. Everything is going well for me. At least pertaining to the business. My love life is nonexistent and-well, I should probably stop before I get into it. “Peeta stared deeply into my eyes before glancing at his desk,”Anyway, why do you want to work at Mellark Enterprises?”

“My sister, Prim, is in medical school and I want to help her with student loan. Not only that but I need to pay my rent and pay bills and-”

“Ms. Everdeen, Katniss, calm down. It’s ok.” he says while reaching towards my hand and holding it.“Ignoring all the bills to be paid and debts to pay off, why do you really want to work here, Katniss?”

I look at our joined hands and quickly unclasp them, moving my hand to rest on top of my thigh. I can still feel the warmth from his large one. “Honestly, I didn’t even know this was your company. I just want a job and thought that being a secretary was a great way to start.”

Peeta peered at me with those baby blue eyes causing me to squirm in my seat. “Thank you, Katniss. I will go over your resume and get back to you if you get the position.”

As I embarked on the journey from the chair to the door, I heard Peeta say something the made my heart stop, “I look forward to seeing you soon, Ms. Everdeen.” He gave me a crooked grin causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach. Crap. What is he doing to me.

And with that I left the room.

***

Annie calls me later that afternoon and I recall all that had happened today.

“I can’t believe it was him. Why him? Of all the 7 billion people on this earth he could be my boss.”

“I mean, Katniss, you don’t have to take the job when you get it.”

“If I get it and I need this job, though. No one else is hiring.”I searched for days but not a single business needed another employee. I felt a spark of hope when I saw the neon pink flyer stating a secretary position at Mellark Enterprises was available, that is, until him.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you Katniss. He can’t be that bad. When you get the job just take it. I don’t think you'll regret it,” Annie instructed me.

With a groan, I told Annie bye and hung up.

I hope I don’t regret this.

Behind me, I hear the sound of the door to the apartment opening. Thank goodness Gale was home.

“Hey Catnip,” Gale greets me with a peck while taking off his tie.

“Hey,” I respond unenthusiastically,”How was your day?”

“Great, actually. You know the new intern I was telling you about?”

“Yeah. Madge?”

“Yup. God, she's great, Katniss. I’m so glad I snatched her up before anyone else could get their claws in her.”

“That’s great, babe,” I say while peering at him skeptically. He has shown more and more interest in her since, well, 2 months ago. I trust Gale. Yeah we have our spats and our fiery personalities don’t exactly fit perfectly but I couldn't live without him. He’s my rock. He has been since we were 10 and met in the woods of all places. Both our dads liked to hunt so we always went along and one day we bumped into each other, literally.

I’ve noticed that Gale and I seem to be distancing ourselves form each other. Not purposefully, but we don’t have that connection we used to have. Ugh, just another thing to add to my overflowing plate. There was time when we would kiss passionately until we were exhausted and would go on dates almost every night but times have changed. Is it possible to fall out of love with someone because if it is, I am with Gale. Now, don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not breaking up with him. It’s relieving to have someone to talk to but I just don’t feel what I used to. Maybe I am going crazy.

“Hey, babe?” Gale called out to me from the living room bringing my thoughts back to reality.

“Yeah,”I responded hoping he wanted more from me than to bring him dinner.

“Can you get me some milk?”

“Fine,” I unwillingly grumbled back. When I brought it to him he had a dismissive attitude towards me and added on to what he previously said.

“I have a convention for work so I won’t be home over the weekend.”

“Ok, that’s great. I’ll just stay with Annie.” I didn’t want to be alone.

“Sounds good, Catnip.”

He would be the death of me.

***

A week or two goes by with no word from Peeta about the job. I might as well admit defeat. Yet again, Peeta frickin Mellark decides to ruin my life.

After grabbing my yoga mat and putting on leggings and a t-shirt, I go meet up with Annie for our twice a week zen class. The classic “Downward Dog” and “Balasana” always calm me down.

Afterwards, we hit a coffee shop where Annie’s fiancé, Finnick, waits.

“Hey, hon,” Annie tells him lovingly. “Aw, you got me my favorite. Thanks.” She then proceeds to give him a languid kiss causing me to turn away.

Sometimes I wish Gale and I were more like Annie and Finnick. Our kisses aren’t “languid” and he always get me coffee which I hate. I know, I know I could just break up with him but I don’t want to lose his company or friendship. Woe is me.

“So, Finnick, what have you been up to?” I asked him.

“Oh, you know, getting drunk, killing mobsters, giving my beautiful fiancé the best of everything,” Finnick replies, giving Annie doe eyes. “I forgot to tell you, I invited a friend to join us so I hope that's ok.”

“Thats fi-,”I stop myself.

Peeta Mellark, the very same Peeta Mellark who could be my boss, was walking towards the table.

In my trashy t-shirt and ratty leggings with sweaty hair sticking to my forehead I knew I looked awful.

*sniff sniff* And smelled awful.

Shit.

I glare at Finnick and scowl. I hope he feels the pain I’m experiencing.

“Katniss, hey!” Peeta made no comment towards my outfit or smell so that’s a good sign.

I cleared my throat before saying,”Hello, Peeta.”

My cheeks were burning up and I could tell they were a dark pink from embarrassment. He set a drink in front of me. If it’s coffee I swear to god I’ll-

“I didn’t know what you liked so I guessed. Is hot chocolate ok?” he commented shyly.

“Um, yeah it's perfect,”I told him. “So, you know Finnick?”

“We go way back. Freshman year of college we were roommates in those crusty, dilapidated dorms. He was the one who took, no dragged me to parties and set me up on dates. I don’t know where I’d be without him.”

“Hopefully dead,” I grumbled underneath my breath.

Peeta gave me a peculiar look before turning away. So what if he heard me. I doubt I got the job and I loathe him anyway.

Annie gives me a sympathetic glance before telling the table that she and Finnick have to leave for their “couples class”.

I hope she and Finnick die a fiery death. I can’t leave, that would be rude, but at the same time I can’t sit here for another hour small talking to Peeta fuckin’ Mellark. Suck it up, buttercup.

“Oh, Katniss, this is the perfect opportunity to tell you that you got the job!” Peeta declared to me while grinning. Why is he grinning? He’s probably conniving plans on how to torture me. Wouldn't be surprised. “That is, if you will accept.”

I had no other option but to say yes.

“Ok, that's awesome. I’ll take it.”

Those 6 words, I would soon learn, would change my life forever.

***

Waking up and realizing you have a steady job and will be able to pay rent should cause a person to leap for joy. I can’t. Not when the job is at Mellark Enterprises. God, today will be awful.

As soon as I arrive to the 8th floor, Peeta is there, welcoming me. He shows me around from the break room to his office, and finally my desk. Which I forgot to mention is about 10 feet from his. Crap.

I’m in deep shit.

“I’m looking forward to working with you, Katniss,” Peeta comments, his eyes soft and grin, again, crooked. His floppy blonde, curly hair is unruly and of course he rolled his button up sleeves up to his elbows causing his pale smooth skin and muscular arms to show. I felt something move south, not caused by my actual boyfriend, and I wanted to moan. Oh, to push him against his desk and him to take me right then and then. To feel his strong arms wrapped around me and his tongue twirling with mine. That’s hot. Wait, what? What is this man doing to me?

“M...Me too,” I stumble over my words still hypnotized by his beauty.

I notice that Peeta was staring off into the distance and has a slight smirk on his face. Hm, I wonder what he’s thinking about. He shakes himself out of it and slams his office door behind him.

I go about my first day at Mellark Enterprises as secretary to the one and only Peeta Mellark. Nothing strange or abnormal happens. I go home, as usual. Gale is passive aggressive, as usual. But my mind is swirling with sinful thoughts of Peeta. Why him? Why does my body react to him this way. My mind loathes him but my heart...I just don't know what to do. He’s the guy that taunted me for years and is now acting like we have been best friends for decades. My emotions can’t seem to stay in check when I’m around him. I’m so conflicted and unsure of what to do.

The next day, after a long night of dreams I should not be having, I quickly make my way to work.

“Mellark Enterprises, this is Katniss Everdeen speaking. How may I help you?”

“Yes, I am his secretary.”

“Yes I will leave him with your number ma’am.”

“Ok, bye.”

Ugh, ew. I do not need Peeta’s booty calls asking me about him. What he does is his business. Right? I wouldn't want to be one. No, no way.

His lips on mine, hands roaming.

Me moaning. Lips caressing every part of my neck.

Blonde curls falling on his face. Calloused hands unwinding my braid, kissing each strand.

Snap. Out. Of. It.

He’s your boss, my god, Katniss.

After the weird phone call this morning, I avoided Peeta as much as a secretary could do (not well) and quickly scurried home. I told Annie that I had a bad day and need some alone time which she understood.

I decided to make a detour before going home and bought a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the local supermarket because boy did I need it. I unlocked the door and opened it into my apartment. Walking to the kitchen, I set the white wine on the counter and ransacked the refrigerator looking for some carbs. The door to the bedroom was closed, that’s odd. I shrugged my shoulders and sat on the couch, eating pasta and drinking some cheap wine. My ideal night. after about an hour of this, I heard a voice...2 voices to be exact coming from the bedroom. I glanced at the front door-wait those aren't my shoes, or jacket. Opening the bedroom door slowly, with a pan because there could be a murderer in my apartment, I saw what I hadn’t expected to see at all.

“GALE! Who the fuck is that.”

“Katniss, I can explain.” he said hurriedly.

“Who is she?” the blond bimbo said.

“Madge, she’s nobody,” he told her trying to calm her down.

“Wait, Madge. As in your intern Madge?” I said, disgusted with Gale. “How dare you Gale. Damn you. Leave and NEVER come back.”

“Katniss, please, baby, I can explain.”

“I said LEAVE. You too, Madge,” I spit out.

He quickly gathered his clothes and scurried out the door, taking Madge with him. I just can’t believe he would do that. Why? I know things haven't been the best lately, but to cheat on me?

I could barely stand so I sank to the floor and bawled, trying to pick up the pieces of my broken life.