#the ruler of the bubblegums speaks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

songmingisthighs · 3 years

Text

[19.06] mafia!hongjoong × reader

⇀ you were interested in hongjoong, a notorious leader of a very successful mafia organization. sadly he didn't see you that way. if only he knew the true you before making a rash judgement

⇁ tw : mafia life, angst, mentions of black market activities, death, violence, dark stuff. read at your own risk.

⇁ disclaimer : the author does not support any and all criminal/illegal acts. the narrative written in this story is purely fiction out of the author’s imagination. the things written here does not portray real mafia life nor is the author aware of how the mafia life is like. the author is a hermit loser.

The door to Hongjoong's office opened and in walked his right hand, with a teasing smirk on his face. Hongjoong looked up from the paperwork on his desk and looked up to the man with a raised eyebrow, "what are you smirking at?" he questioned.

Seonghwa nodded his head towards the door, "there's someone here for you," he said whilst holding onto his laughter. Hongjoong shifted his gaze from his friend to the door and then back to him again, "who?" "your girlfriend," Seonghwa teased.

Before Hongjoong could throw anything at him, though, Seonghwa had run off, laughing heartily.

Not long after, you came into his office with a wide smile. As per usual, you were dressed to impress, head to toe with a black and white vintage channel mini skirt and blazer, adorned with a channel necklace and earrings. As you walked in, Wooyoung, one of Hongjoong's trusted men, looked at your passing figure with mouth hanging low and a starstruck look on his face. But you didn't care, you only had eyes for Hongjoong.

It has been roughly five months since you started dropping into Hongjoong's office. Your dad, an equally highly successful head of the mafia from where you're from, wanted you to get married to expand his business and make more allies. He gave you several options but you were immediately intrigued by Hongjoong, one of the mafia heads he made a partnership with by providing him with weapons. The comprehensive file your dad gave you did Hongjoong no justice so you decided to get to know him for real.

Unluckily, Hongjoong is very secretive and protective of himself and his family (re: his brothers; his most trusted men in the mafia). He had been betrayed so many times before and his thirst for revenge both became his strength and downfall. While he managed to build a highly acclaimed mafia organization at such a young age, he closed off everyone who he deemed not worthy of his attention even after only seeing them for less than five minutes.

Sadly, that included you. You weren't the only one who got a comprehensive file on the other, he too had one of you. A straight-A student from Wharton with hobbies consisting of horseback riding and charity? He wondered whether you were preparing to take over your dad's mafia or to steal the Crown of England and be its ruler.

Hongjoong tried his best to hold in a groan of annoyance but even so, some still escaped him and you heard it. Though you were used to it so you just ignored him.

"Hi, Joong," you grinned widely at him, walking in and putting a medium-sized box of cake on his desk after closing his door. "Don't call me Joong," he grumbled.

In all honesty, your bubblegum personality sickened him. He knows for a fact that no one is that happy-go-lucky and excited and has rainbows shooting out of their asses 24/7. So there has to be something you were hiding from him.

You only chuckled at his response, "You're a sourpuss, you know that? You're gonna have wrinkles before you hit thirty if you keep frowning all the time like that," you said as you focused yourself on opening the cake box.

Inside it was the cake you made for him. All the times you visited him, you never made him something from scratch. You were trained to be the head of a mafia organization one day, not in the kitchen. So that cake was the very first thing you made and you were beyond proud of yourself.

"Look," Hongjoong exhaled sharply, starting to get annoyed even before you did anything, "You came at a bad time, I need to get a hundred thousand things done before tonight, in case you didn't realize, my organization is-" "in the brink of war with Stray Kids, I know, I've read the reports," you simply said, hands moving to cut the cake in front of you to hand to him.

"I have connections with the leader's soft spot, the foreigner one, I can make a deal that would help your case if you would jus-"

"NO!!!!" he yelled out, slamming his hands onto his desk, startling you so much that you accidentally dropped your knife and stepped back a little.

Maybe it was the stress of having to deal with things alone, or maybe it's just him finally snapping from overthinking about you, but one thing's for sure is that he had had enough. He needed to put you in your place.

"You may be your daddy's little princess back home, all dressed in white and pink and lace, showered with Channels, Tiffanys and your hoity-toity prestigious Wharton degree. But here, you're nothing, got me? You understood nothing about having to work your ass off to get the recognition and rewards you deserve, you had your daddy behind you this whole time and that's very convenient for you. But don't come here and act like you know shit, okay? Our worlds are different, you came from a cotton candy palace, I came from the ditch, your opinion means less than shit to me," he spat out so quickly, he didn't realize that your expression changed to something that he had never seen before.

Your eyes were blank and glazed, lips slightly quivering and chest heaving.

Hongjoong thought that he had really put you in your place and he was about to celebrate the fact that he might finally drove you away when you opened your mouth.

"Cotton candy palace? Not understanding having to work my ass off?" you choked out.

At first, Hongjoong thought you were gonna cry. But a sadistic, maniacal laugh resonated in the room from where you were doubled over, holding onto your stomach.

It was Hongjoong's turn to be stunned into silence.

"Oh my god, I thought you were smarter than that," you muttered as you calmed down, wiping tears from the corner of your eyes, "you think that this is who I am?" you asked with a raised eyebrow at him.

Hongjoong was confused about whether or not he should speak. It was the first time anyone had ever stunned Hongjoong and Hongjoong didn't know what to do.

"I was born from a girl who was en route to be sold in a human trafficking ring, I came out premature and was about to be sold to a satanic cult as their sacrifice but my 'dad' 'rescued' me. I was stored in a facility with thirty other children, we were trained to be assassins since before we could walk, brainwashed with ideals that ruined our brains. One by one, each year some of us were taken out if we show a lack of improvement or no promise," as you talked, you took off your earrings and necklace and put them on Hongjoong's desk.

While you ran a hand through your messy hair, you stared into him deeply, "I was seven when I first killed someone, my last competition. She was two years older than me and she was sold by her parents for coke money, or as the warden told us. We were reminded every day of how worthless we are so we wouldn't rebel and escape. But even in despair, I wanted something more. That's where daddy came in. He was impressed with me and he took me in as his daughter, telling people one of his whores were pregnant with me to assure my legitimacy. I was schooled in my own private red room. I had to fight for my right as a human being, I made deals with my dad to be able to go out with bodyguard escorts for only an hour every month,"

Hongjoong's eyes followed your hands that gripped onto the edge of your skirt, "did your little binder wrote that I went on my first official mission when I was just twelve? My dad cut the ballet lesson that I trade in for 120 hours of combat training short to gear me up, put me in a room of adult men and sent me off to plant an active bomb in 5 minutes in an air vent of the headquarters of his rival, crazy, right?" you chuckled humorlessly whilst ripping your skirt off to reveal your black shorts inside, a knife and a gun holstered on your thighs were revealed, making Hongjoond's eyes widened.

He never would have imagined someone like you to carry weapons under your very girly outfit. Or to even have such a traumatizing backstory.

"My whole appearance is compensation for my very dark upbringing, I wanted to hide it all. My dad told me I was stupid, that I belonged in the dark, dark world. But when I went to Wharton, I tried to change myself. I thought that I might be able to be the person I wanna be by marrying someone my dad approved so I don't have to take over wholly, I could just be the voice by the side, lending my skills and help the organization indirectly,"

You looked down at your heels clad feet for a second, letting your toes point and moving them from left to right to see what it looks like.

At this point, Hongjoong felt bad for having blown up at you. You had only wanted to spend time with him and even if he didn't want to see you, he could've said it nicely. Hongjoong never felt like this before, it was very weird for him.

He was about to walk over to you when you suddenly took your heels off in a flash and threw them both at Hongjoong so hard that it embedded deep into the wall on either side of his face.

Your usual smile was replaced with a frown, the eyes that usually twinkled showed nothing but darkness. He barely recognized you and he was on edge about it.

"You made your standing with me perfectly clear, Kim Hongjoong, while my dad is one to stop things before they become an issue, I like to see how things unravel," you smirked at him.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked, not being able to process anything.

"It means that your partnership with my dad is off, good luck finding a new weapons supplier," you spat out before turning around to leave the room, leaving traces of yourself behind at his office.

Hongjoong wanted to call after you, try to make things better somehow. But his head still couldn't even wrap around the shocking information you had just revealed.

Not long after you left, Yeosang came in but stopped at the door, scanning the room that was littered with remnants of you. "What the fuck happened here? Did a hooker tried to kill you!?" he asked, still confused at the situation.

When Yeosang looked up, he saw Hongjoong in a way he had never seen him before.

Nervous.

"I-I- I think I just forged a war between us and the largest mafia weapons manufacturer on the eastern hemisphere," he uttered out.

239 notes · View notes

greenish-idiot · 3 years

Text

My 2nd Fanfiction, this time it's Bubbline, I'm not good at writing romance and I rushed this one a bit, but here you go. This one is called "Simple Dates, Complex People".

_______________________________________________

She was never the one to do this, it was always Bonnie, but no, she had this, she could do it. Picking up the phone she gave a deep breath and dialed a number into it. Her nerves grew stronger as the ringing from the phone continued, but it then stopped and a voice reached out. “Hi this is the Candy Kingdom Fine Wine Dinery, are you calling for a reservation or perhaps some questions?” They asked in a fairly French-sounding voice, almost a mock of one. “Uh hello?’ It asked, dropping the voice. Marceline was frozen there, not sure what to say. “Well, um, alright, call again soon.” It said, picking the mock French voice up again.

“Wait!” She yelled out suddenly, stopping whoever was on the other side from hanging up. “Well yes?” The Vampire Queen cleared her throat, trying to gain some confidence. “I, um, Marceline the Vampire Queen am here, er, I mean calling to request a reservation.” The voice was quiet for a few minutes, making the royal nervous, but soon enough it spoke up once again. “Yes, I do think we have enough room for the Vampire Queen, would the Princess be joining you?” Marceline looked over to the pink princess who was sitting down, covering her mouth in an attempt to not laugh. Marceline grimaced. “Yes, she will be.”

Finally, she was free of having to do that again. She glared at Bubblegum who was still giggling to herself, seeing the look the Vampire gave her the Princess stood up and walked to Marceline's side, kissing her on the cheek. Marceline felt her face redden, but she quickly smiled. “See, you did good, now, let us get ready!” She exclaimed excitedly, running to her closet.

Sometime later it was somewhat late in the evening, but the duo didn’t mind as they walked through the bright and cheerful kingdom, the Candy People waving at their ruler. They were still hesitant when it came to the Princess’s partner, but they were slowly getting more used to her, especially the younger candies.

When they reached the Dinery they were greeted by a Marshmellow wearing a face mustache, giving it a silly, but oddly distinguished, look. They were led to a table in the middle of the restaurant, one away from any windows that may let in sun. Letting her umbrella lean on the table, the Vampire Queen pulled out a seat for the Candy Princess. The pair stifled a giggle as they both sat down. The Vampire breathed in the cold and soothing air. “So, this place, was it built recently?” Marceline asked, curious because before she had never seen this lace.

“Pfff, no, this place is as old as garlic balls, we just haven’t gone here yet…” She trailed off, playing with her fork a bit. The Vampire Queen cleared her throat, moving some of her long ebony hair out of her face.

“Well, let’s do this more often. I mean, wouldn’t hurt to get out more. Speaking of getting out more, you notice how Finn is always sneaking out through the window?” Bubblegum was now laughing a bit loudly at the mention of the boy’s antics. “Ha! Yeah, he acts as if we’re his parents or something. Not gonna stop us from teasing him though!” She could feel eyes at the back of her head, so she quieted down.

The pale one of the two glared at the people staring at them, when they noticed her red glare they looked away, a little afraid of the Vampires might. “So.” She said, focusing her attention back on her fellow royal. “When’s the waiter or waitress gonna get here?!” She asked frustrated. “Right here, madam.” A Candycane person said, suddenly appearing at her side.

“Oh, um, well, what about you like Marceline? I’m paying so get whatever you want.” The Vampire Queen smiled at this before ordering Red WIne, the only alcohol she could find in the Candy Kingdom.

A few hours later the Candy Princess and Vampire Queen were laughing at each other, doing whatever silly thing they could think of. When leaving the Dinery the two looked into each other eyes. “This was great Bonnie.” She stepped closer to the pink princess. “It really was, like you said, we should do this more often.” Suddenly, the Vampire Queen took Princess Bubblegums cheeks into her hands as she kissed her deeply. Sometime later they pulled away from each other, the Princess still needing air.

“Shall we continue this in the castle Princess?” Marceline asked. “Yes, I think we shall,” Bonnie answered, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red.

#bonnibel bubblegum #marceline abadeer #princess bubblegum #marceline #bubbline #romance #fanfic

17 notes · View notes

turtlethon · 3 years

Text

"Return of the Technodrome"

Season 2, Episode 13

First US Airdate: December 24, 1988 First UK Airdate: March 28, 1990

While Splinter leaves for a sabbatical, Krang brings the Technodrome back to Earth.

The second season of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reaches its finale in “Return of the Technodrome”. Michael Reaves again is credited as writer for this outing that originally aired in the US on Christmas Eve of 1988.

On a slow day, Burne tasks April with making news if she’s unable to find any. Irma eagerly assumes that April will be contacting the Turtles. She responds that “the Turtles are not the most exciting thing in my life.” Based on everything we know about April, this is a lie. Up to this point in the series, we’ve seen next to nothing to suggest she has any interests outside of gushing about how heroic the Turtles are or declaring that any given event “will make a GREAT story”. Frankly it would be nice if she had a bit more character development in that regard.

Irma responds that the Turtles may not be the most exciting thing in April’s life, “but they certainly are in mine”. Evidently meeting Splinter in the last episode hasn’t soured her on our heroes in the slightest.

April’s immediate response to Burne’s demand for a story is indeed to visit the Turtles, where she learns that Splinter is leaving on a three-day pilgrimage. This isn’t the thrilling news item she had in mind, but it will help keep him in the mix for the rest of the episode.

Krang is an unusual shade of bubblegum pink throughout this episode. He reveals to Shredder that he’s sending the Technodrome back to Earth. To obtain the power he needs, he provides Shredder with a polarity deflector to be installed on a control panel in a Niagra Falls power station.

The Turtles are saying goodbye to Splinter when April informs them that Shredder has invaded the power station. Anticipating that the Turtles will intervene, Krang sends Shredder a contingent of Foot Soldiers and Rock Soldiers. Throughout this episode the Rock Soldiers are all effectively grey versions of General Traag, another odd visual quirk.

Speaking of visual quirks, an incredibly glaring one throughout this adventure is that Donatello is missing his wristbands in all but a few shots. And it’s just him, all the other Turtles are unaffected!

The Turtles intercept communications between Krang and Shredder, where they don’t fully learn of the plan to bring the Technodrome to Earth, but somehow figure it out anyway. They travel to the power plant, where their blimp is fired upon by Bebop, sending the glider crashing into the water, which leads to a massive waterfall. As a means of escaping, they use a remote control to power the Blimp’s balloon, and jump back onto it.

Sensing danger, Splinter meets up with the Turtles, and together with April they work to intercept Krang’s troops and make their way into the power plant. The Turtles are able to shut down power to the dam, but Krang uses reserve power to bring the Technodrome to Earth anyway.

An entire army of Foot Soldiers and Rock Soldiers surround the Turtles. It’s easily the biggest challenge in terms of numbers we’ve seen them face in the show thus far. But Krang announces he wants to destroy the Turtles himself, and aims a giant laser mounted on the Technodrome at them. He’s unable to open fire as he’d used up the power reserves earlier.

The Turtles are able to deflect laser fire from a Foot Soldier to bring down a tree branch, providing them with a path of escape. (Curiously, the number of Krang’s troops surrounding our heroes seems to drop considerably at this point.)

With no-one to stop them, Krang is able to recharge the Technodrome and generates an earthquake in New York. He makes an announcement on televisions across the city. “This is Krang, ruler of Dimension X. Hi.”

Krang demands that the people of New York evacuate, or he will create a bigger earthquake that will level every building in the city. I’m inclined to believe him, as he was the one villain we’ve seen that outright attempted to kill a person before (when he ordered the disintegration of Baxter Stockman). Krang has made it quite clear by this point that he doesn’t value human life at all.

The Turtles track down the Technodrome and use an explosive shuriken to blast a hole through its side, forging a way in. Splinter and Shredder each sense that their age-old enemies are nearby. Meanwhile the Turtles battle Bebop, Rocksteady and a group of Foot Soldiers as they try to gain access to the Technodrome’s controls.

Splinter and Shredder battle on an overhead platform in what Shredder calls “their final confrontation”. This is the long-awaited rematch following their battle in the Technodrome at the end of season one, and although it doesn’t live up to that in terms of the writing or the animation, there’s still a genuine sense of excitement here as the episode and the season climax.

Krang sees that the citizens of New York are not leaving, and attempts to trigger the second earthquake that he had promised, confirming that yes, he’s absolutely willing to follow through and level the city, killing everyone that remains there.

A misfiring laser beam blasts a hole through the platform, leaving Shredder hanging on while Splinter escapes. The Turtles and Splinter escape while the reprogrammed Technodrome begins drilling downward, causing it to sink into the Earth’s core.

Back in the lair, the Turtles declare that they’ve “finally put an and to Krang and Shredder’s evil plans for world domination”. April remarks that she only just noticed that next to the Turtles and Splinter, she’s the only 100% human among them. Michelangelo replies that “nobody’s perfect”. Wait, ace reporter April O’Neill only now noticed she’s the only non-mutant in this bunch? Come on.

Despite not ending on the strongest joke, "Return of the Technodrome" is still a solid episode and among the better ones from 1988’s offerings. The stakes feel far greater than in your typical TMNT show from this era, to the point where at times this genuinely feels like this is the biggest challenge the Turtles have faced to date.

The green teens will return in September 1989 for a lengthy 47-episode fourth season, beginning with another Michael Reaves story, “Beneath This Streets”. Shredder and his associates have survived, and will continue serving as the main antagonists of the show for years to come. There’s a lot of fun ahead in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles season 3!

#Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #TMNT #Turtlethon #Ninja Turtles #TMNT 1987 #1988 #Return of the Technodrome

3 notes · View notes

nautiscarader · 4 years

Note

Bubblegum certainly has an authoritarian streak in her. That and her obsessive work ethic are her only major character flaws. Maybe as development of her character and their relationship, a dominant Marceline could help her work thru that. If she has to surrender control and relax, she can lose her control issues. What better way than to let herself be blindfolded and handcuffed to Marceline's bed. It would certainly make for a steamy fic.

- I can hear your complaints, Bonnie... Keep... keep complaining...

Marceline moaned, and threw her head back, while her fingers dug into Bubblegum’s candy hair, as her crotch was pushed against her face.

The ruler of the Candy Kingdom rarely found herself in the royal dungeons, but with her hands and legs tied, she only had her voice to raise concerns. And her girlfriend was more than eager to listen, though he own moans silenced her quickly.

- Let me speak now, Bonnie...

The vampiress leaned and sneaked her tongue between PB’s puffy lips, sucking a bit of red from her pink. Marcy didn’t know what the princess was moaning about now, but she sure was louder, even if her bum muffled her easily.

#bubbline #lemon #Anonymous

8 notes · View notes

inbarfink · 6 years

Text

I think that sometimes I don't properly appreciate that this current (or just-about-to-be-over) era of cartoons had *two* pink, morally-ambigious-yet-sympathetic hyper-feminine type of female characters. Princess Bubblegum and Rose Quartz.

Generally, characters who look like That are either just straightforwardly sweet and kind and good - or if you wanna be Edgy and Subverty, then those kind of characters can also be PURE EVIL MUHAHAHHA. The most obvious example is Ace Attorney's Dahlia Hawthorne.

It’s not like characters who can be BOTH imperfect and morally ambigious AND super-girly AND still be considered ‘one of the good guys’ was a concept invented by Ward or Sugar - but it is still kind of a rare thing.

Both "Adventure Time" AND "Steven Universe" flirted with that dichotomy in different ways. Princess Bubblegum was presented at first as a parody of the Good end of the spectrum. She's such a sweet pretty pink princess that she's made outta bubblegum! She rules over a Kingdom of Candy!

But with AT's wacky sense of humor and love of subverting expectations, the show quickly started leaning into jokingly presenting Peebles as maaaaybe on the Bad end of the spectrum. There’s a skull in the castle dungeon, she giggles creepily as she explains a paralyzing potion... That there's something darker larking benath the pink and the sugar...

As the show became more and more committed to Actual Continuity, the jokes hinting at her darker nature in addition to her mostly-protagonist roles started forming into... an actual thing. It became part of Peebles' defining ethos. She’s kind of a morally-ambigious ruler-lady, who sometimes values security and order and saftey over morals and truth and freedom. All she wants is the best for her subjects, but her methods for it can be... questionable.

With Rose Quartz, this shift was obviously more planned. SU is in general the Show with the Plan while AT always seems to be writing arcs by the seat of their pants. The image of Rose that we were sold in the beginning, very much leaned on our expectations from such a feminine character. She’s just so perfect and beautiful and pink!

And when hints of her moral ambiguity started popping up, it was easy to fall into the idea that she might've been just Evil All Along. Steven himself was afraid of that in 'Storm in the Room'. Sapphire was afraid of that in "Now We're Only Falling Apart"

And at the end of the day... Just like Steven, we can't ever really know her. I think the show leaves with a question mark on how many of her actions were justifiable or not, with a reminder a lot of that was a reaction to growin up (as much as a Gem can be said to grow up) in a very unhealthy household.

Princess Bubblegum is a Damsel-in-Distress Parody -> haha she might be evil lol -> she's a responsible ruler with a cold, pragmatic strike and a bad habit of denying people their privacy.

Rose Quartz was perfect kind and amazing -> Actually she did some bad shit and lied a lot, like all the time -> Rose Quartz was a very immature Gem who grew up in a fucked up family and worked very hard to unlearn that but still hurt people on the way, was it worth it?

Of course, since Sugar started out in AT - it's highly possible Peebles was her inspiration to make a Morally Ambigious Pink Lady Leader. Although she tended to play PB's nicer sides in the episodes she boarded, generally speaking. (the most notable outlier is ‘Burning Low’, where Princess Bubblegum was established as being the one who had Flame Princess locked up for life and was ready to let her and Finn DIE for the sake of protecting the world from Flame Princess’ power.)

The big contrast between them is what is the source of that Moral Ambiguity. Rose Quartz was presented at first as a very... mature Gem. ‘Motherly’ was the defining key-word in her design and inital presentation. But by the end of the show, it became clear that a lot of her worse actions are a result of... well... as Pink Diamond, she’s a Gem DESIGNED to be kinda immature, and while she did try and grow out of it, it’s tough for her and a lot of her actions are a result of that.

Meanwhile, while Bubblegum was always older than Finn, we at first thought she was just 18! And her Thing is that she’s just very Cold and Pragmatic, valuing safety and status-que versus dangerous freedom and protective of people ... basically all stuff we associate with ‘maturity’, rather than childishness.

(Of course, that could have as much to do with the shows’ viewpoints on childishness and maturity as much as it does with the characters.)

#steven universe #Adventure Time #rose quartz #Princess bubblegum #originally posted on twitter

21 notes · View notes

dungeonsanddragonsmistress · 6 years

Text

Let's talk NPCs

As I said, I want to make an adventure time campaign without making it obvious that it is, in fact, adventure time. So, I'm changing it up a bit.

I introduce you to Princess Bonnibel.

After The War (Mushroom war) she swore not to use magic again, because, in her opinion, magic was at fault. In my universe I'm making Ice King the main villan (not the final boss tho).

She still uses magic for certain things, for exemple, instead of her potion that turns creatures into candy people, she has the ring of mind control. This ring gives the owner the ability to make a strong suggestion, as though you had a charisma of 20. You do not have to audibly speak, but it will only work on someone within your field of vision. You can also only affect a creature of 15 wisdom or lower, if the subject is of 7 or lower wisdom, they will always follow your commands. If you attempt to order someone to kill themselves or someone/something they love, they will refuse to do so. For convenience sake, all of her citizens have wisdom of 7 or below.

After The War ended, she took all the people she could find, orphan children, widowed women, elders and so on. Not all of her citizens are weak, but she did her best to build a city they would all be safe in. She doesn't have any ill intentions, but regarding enemies, she's quick to anger despite her intellect.

She is somewhat immortal, but she isn't made out of gum. She just has a big stack of longevity potions, so she never ages above 35.

The incarnation of the "mad scientist", Princess Bonnibel, has the following features:

- Can use potions as a bonus action, on herself or another creature

- Ambidextrous, can wield two weapons, which means she has multiattack

- Her crown and matching earrings are capable of protecting the wearer's mind from the Lich's influence

You usually see Princess Bubblegum from the series using a gun when she fights. Ones that she creates. So, I'm making Princess Bubblegum proficient with guns. She is ambidextrous, so she can use two of them. I chose the following:

Arm shotgun

A shotgun specially designed to be attached to the arm in a gauntlet like fashion. The weapon is often attached to bracers or in the case of constructs to their very form. (2d6 piercing damage, range of 30/90, needs reloading after 12 shots)

And finally, her stats:

Strength 12 (+1)

She might not seem too strong, but she's not as defenseless as she looks.

Dexterity 16 (+3)

Her physical construction makes her agile and the fact that she's ambidextrous also counts for me.

Constitution 16 (+3)

Years of experiments gone wrong and surviving a war make you tougher.

Intelligence 20 (+5)

She's a scientist, what do you expect?

Wisdom 14 (+2)

To be a ruler, you need to be wise.

Charisma 12 (+1)

With the exception for the interactions with her citizens, she spent her life being quite lonely, therefore she lacks in the charisma department. But her ring buffs her charisma to 20.

She wears a breastplate and her AC is 14.

Her speed is 30 ft, as normal.

Her max HP is 58.

She has a noble background, obviously. Also, for the sake of not making things evident, her race is human.

She is proficient in light armour and medium armour, ranged weapons, alchemist's supplies and brewer's supplies.

Skill wise, she's proficient in history, investigation, medicine and survival.

Her saving throws are Constitution and Intelligence.

36 notes · View notes

sailormew4 · 6 years

Text

Reaction to Adventure Time Series Finale "Come Along with Me" Part 3

Jake breaking down at sight of the Tree House

Simon and Betty kissing after so long

BMO singing Time Adventure and saying they're the Papa to Jake now

EVERYONE SLOWLY JOINING IN

FINN HEARING JAKE SINGING

BETTY SACRIFICING HERSELF FOR SIMON

FERN DYING AND BECOMING A SEED TO BECOME A NEW TREE

COME ALONG WITH ME PLAYING TO EVERYONE HAVING HAPPY LIVES

My Adventure Time Thank You

Adventure Time has been a show that I've stuck with since the beginning. It was my first real fandom. And the fact that it ended today is something else. I'm overjoyed at the experience, but sad that a show that came out when I was eight ended in ironically the beginning of my senior year. I'm still crying at the ending.

Thank you Pen Ward and @adammuto for this show. Special kudos to Pen for voicing LSP who made me laugh more times then I can count. I've laughed till my gut hurts, I've cried into my pillow and went through boxes of tissues, I've yelled in anger that I punched a wall before, and I've smiled until my cheeks were ready to fall off.

Thank you Tom Kenny for Ice King. Man, I remembered how I used to hate Ice King for being creepy, but after finding out it was crown made me turn around all the way. Even when I rewatch episodes I feel a sense of sadness for him. Thanks for being a cool cat.

Thank you Niki Yang for Lady Raincorn and BMO. I still don't understand a single lick of Korean, but I enjoyed them none the less. I still say who wants to play video games everytime I offer to play a game. Thank you for being you're unique self.

Thank you Hynden Walch for Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum. I really love my favorite princess and love to see how she grew into the wonderful ruler she is. You made me love and hate her at times, but in the end I love her through and through. Thank you for being this sweet character.

Thank you Olivia Olson for Marceline the Vampire Queen. She was my favorite character ever since they aired "Evicted!" on TV to see how well Adventure Time would do. You made me love music more than I ever do. You were especially relatable about the Daddy Issues. In fact, I dressed up as Marceline with my own axe bass for a convention in Hawaii. I'm also pretty sure Marceline was my bisexual awakening and my bisexual icon. Thank you for this radical dame that loves to play games.

Thank you John DiMaggio for Jake the Dog. He ended up being the big brother I wanted. Sure he gave bad advice every now and then but I love my favorite shapeshifting dog no matter what. You always made me laugh when I really needed it. In fact when I'm sad I just sing some of your silly songs to cheer me up. I'm going to miss him so much. Thank you for my stretchy big brother dog.

And a big thank you to my favorite character and voice actor Jeremy Shada for Finn the Human. Geez where do I start. I love Finn so much and your voice that I followed you through your future works of Incredible Crew, Makeout Monday, Mr Student Body President, and my second favorite show (cause Adventure Time is number one) with Voltron. I loved Finn from the second I saw him that admittedly he was my first cartoon crush. I dressed up as him for two Halloweens in a row and for the Finale I wore my Finn Hat and hugged my Jake Doll. Finn made me feel the most things and without him and you I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be the same person today. He showed me to do the right thing, but within certain limits. He helped me get through a couple break ups and how to deal with them. Finn has been a role model of me when I heard him speak his first line.

Thank you @adventuretime for the amazing show I'll always remember it, and everything stays inside my heart. So thank you for the Ultimate Adventure Time.

145 notes · View notes

beautiful-dirty-rick · 6 years

Text

Different Kisses from Different Ricks

Rock Star (Flesh Curtains) Rick: Although essentially the same Rick as C-137, his behavior may differ. He would see you in the audience, lean over the front of the stage and, beckoning you over with a finger and a “come-hither, baby” toss of his hair, he would pull you with a hand on the back of your head and plant a serious, deep one on you.

Evil Rick: Among the unexpected ones. Due to his being evil, the kiss he gives you may be a goodbye kiss before he offs you. Seeing as it would possibly be a forceful, long, passionate one...what a way to go.

Healthy (Non-Toxic) Rick: Possibly the least emotional one. His emotions reside with Toxic Rick, so a kiss from him would be pleasant... but not substantial.

Novelist Rick: Sweet, slow and lingering. He’d recite poetry (his own or classics) into your ear in a low, soft voice as his lips move to your neck.

The Scientist Known as Rick: Would serenade you first with a song on a guitar that looks to be the child of Prince and science, then lock lips while dancing sensuously with you. He’d then take you to his lab, decorated all in purple, because he Wants to Be Ur Lovr.

Bubblegum Rick: Sweetest kiss of all, by way of sugar. His kisses are permanently flavored with bubblegum, which isn’t a bad thing at all. Be warned: he may attempt to pass his gum from his mouth to yours, so if you think you’d be into that...

Doofus Rick: The shyest. After a certain amount of romantic tension, he would come forward and softly say: “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but... can I...can I kiss you?” And when he does, he’s so tender and nervous about it- but it only makes the experience more exciting.

Guard Rick: The daring one. He would pull you to him with one arm and hold a gun in the other, so as not to be completely off-duty while he lays a protective, authoritative kiss on you.

Dandy Rick: The poetic and the beautiful. He is pretty and he knows it (a bit like Scientist Known as Rick). The closest to a gentleman that a Rick can be, he would kneel before you, take your hand delicately in his and kiss your knuckles, then lead his kisses up your arm in the old-fashioned, “dandy” way... and then press his lips to yours with all the dignity of a man wearing powder on his face.

Karate Rick: You’re his trophy girl when he wins yet another battle, dipping you low and kissing you with victory. That or he Spidermans it by dropping upside down from something and giving you a ninja-like, sneaky upside-down, passionate kiss.

Zero Rick: His pessimism doesn’t lessen his sense of romance a bit when he feels it enough to want to kiss you. The most introverted of all Rick kisses, and possibly most insecure; he would pull your clasped hands up to under his chin to keep you near because he just knows you’ll leave him eventually and wants to keep you his for now.

Miami Rick: Doubtless, a tight embrace and kiss by the ocean, at sunset, glowing with the sun’s colors and your blush.

Tiny Rick: A teenage Rick means teenage hormones and awkwardness. Very high school, when even though his more mature mind knows better, the teenager side does not; his kisses may be clumsy at first but he would learn to hold you and his palms would stop sweating fast enough.

Pickle Rick: Make sure you are not adverse to the taste of salt brine. Unfortunately, he lacks in arms to embrace you, but if you hold him up to your face, he can still give you a kiss. Cheek kiss recommended.

Simple Rick: Admittedly the most conventional of kisses. A Rick before his deep-set emotional complications set in, his kisses would be sweet, appropriate, pleasant... none of the raw energy or lust tainted with pain and need that Rick is to develop later on.

Cop Rick: In a world full of dying Ricks and dangerous Mortys, he would keep you by his side at all times, an arm around your shoulders-- and protective, somewhat timid kisses whenever off-duty or alone in police cruiser. Responsible sweetheart.

Vaporwave Rick: He wants you to be feeling the beats like he does. He sits next to you, sets down his boombox and has it play a nice slow jam for you two, and locks you into kisses with an even slower rhythm.

Super Morty Fan Rick: Congratulations-- you got him to forget about fanboying over Mortys! In his distraction from kissing you (possibly plied with Morty merchandise he doesn’t have, like a cute keychain, etc.), his Morty hat falls off and he doesn’t notice, even when you start running your fingers through his hair.

Detective (or Deepthroat) Rick: Think of this Rick as a “film noir” Rick, and you’re his femme fatale. Think Bogart and Bacall. He kisses you rebelliously, deeply, in the most dangerous of moments, and you reel from the excitement of his sudden shows of affection and the possibility of the two of you getting caught.

Surgeon Rick: The cleanest (hygenic) kiss you’ll receive. He may offer to heal you (instead of your Mortys) with a massage, and just keep you in a hospital room so he can be affectionate with you. There is a chance he will playfully kiss you with a surgical mask on, ‘til you pull it down and savor a Rick kiss, obstacle-free.

Teacher Rick: Whether you’re a student of his or “just a friend/colleague,” he won’t just kiss you at any time, anywhere. He will, however, find an excuse to clear all Mortys out of the classroom so it’s just you and him, and a ruler held playfully between your faces-- in a rare instance when he isn’t serious. Do you bring this out in him? A kiss that makes you stand firm in place.

Toxic Rick: One of the most emotionally-charged kisses, Toxic Rick may be almost inhuman in his meanness, but when his emotions grow tender, he may melt like the slime he is under your touches. He would hold you almost suffocatingly tight (his neediness is concentrated in this form), bend you at the waist, fully lay his craving for love onto you in staggering, deep, very, very needy kisses, though his words may push you away. An “I love you” may fall from his lips if you’ve rendered him weak enough with kisses of your own.

Morty Day Care Rick: This guy is among the hardest-working Ricks. When on breaks in between looking after little Mortys, he would kiss you while he’s walking by you-- or, when he finally gets a sit-down and rest, he’ll acknowledge you are there behind him by craning his head back and pulling your head down for a lazy, but sweet, kiss.

Salesman Rick: Pleasant and useful. Upon buying an item from him, drop a chaste kiss on his lips. He’ll return it not just politely, but eagerly, then slowly slide his hands from your shoulders and mutter, “No charge.”

Robot Rick: Recommended if you find kissing chrome and steel palatable.

Mysterious Rick: Dramatic--as with everything else he does. You’re his partner in crime, his girl Friday, his kisses are always with a huge arm sweep around you, clutching you close and dragging on a long movie kiss. And you don’t mind this one bit.

Lab Rick (Morty Labs): Innovative one. With the daring quality that most Ricks seem to have in common, he will be in the middle of a Morty modification, don the protective eyewear and say: “Stand back!” Before the flash of light or flame passes, he will pull you in for a mid-work kiss, precise and methodical.

Guilty Rick: The most vulnerable. Whatever he’s done, you forgive him, and show him that with a kiss. The skull will fall from his hands as he falls into you (extra effect if you are short; remember Rick is quite tall) and emotionally caves in from the intimacy. He presses trembling, grateful kisses to you as his hands and shoulders shake. With meek sobs in between kisses, he melts into you (for a change); his arbitrary whispers of “I’m sorry... I--I’m sorry” turn into “I love you... I love you...”.

Secret Agent (Run The Jewels music video) Rick: A level-up from Deepthroat Rick, into James Bond action movie territory. Similar to Guard Rick, he would keep hold of a gun in one hand to gun down anyone or any thing that threatens his lady, the Bonnie to his Clyde, his partner in crime--you. With the other, he is more assertive than Guard in the way he will tilt your head back and plant a wild kiss onto your lips. Bonus if he takes a moment to wipe the drool off his mouth first.

(Normal) C-137 Rick: cannot be described as simply as all the others, as this is the 100% complete Rick with all these qualities rolled into one Rick. This Rick is the most unpredictable and has the sweetest kisses of all--why, you may be wondering? Due to his shutting emotions out, any show of affection from Rick is a statement that speaks volumes of what you may mean to him. With each time he lets you into his lab in the garage, has a drink with you or tells you an anecdote about his life (however small or filthy), he is telling you he trusts you. A kiss from this Rick is the manifestation of this incredibly rare trust, and confirmation that you matter so little that he loves you-- or that he admits, through this kiss, that he loves you a little because you matter so much (to him). A kiss-- likely deep, possessive so this hard-ass doesn’t get his soft heart broken again; draping his arms around you lightly like he doesn’t give a s#!t about you when he actually gives quite a few-- from this Rick is one you should, and will, cherish for all time, like you do him.

#rick sanchez #rick and morty #daydreams #night dreams #too #sorry #not sorry #it's the moody music i'm listening to <3 #and of course #the feels

312 notes · View notes

saragapen · 7 years

Text

Complicated Simplicity

Author: Saraga_arts Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12336132 Fandom: Adventure Time Synopsis: A poetic thing Rating: Teen Character(s): Gumball, Marshall Lee or Bubblegum, Marceline Pairing: Gumlee or Bubbline Warnings: none. Note: None that I can think of.

It was never simple.

How could it be?

Two beings, of vampire and gum, both found truce near each other. They both found peace in each other’s words but never in their actions.

Both of them would say “I love you” but neither of them would kiss. Both would speak “I care for you” but neither would comfort.

Each day would be a new introduction, a new beginning; barely making eye contact. But every night would be like parted lovers, long lost soul mates; touching each other in desperation.

If one spoke in anger, the other would whine in hurt. If one spoke in hurt, the other would growl in anger. There was no balance between the two yet they stayed together.

Eyes would screech “I need you!” But their bodies would run away. Their mouths would whisper affection, but their bodies would ache in pain.

Both of royalty, but one higher than the other. Both ruler of a kingdom, but one more responsible than the other.

One was into music, the other into science. One held freedom as a priority whilst the other demanded discipline.

One was loved by so many while the other was abhorred by the same. One popular for his talents, the other abused for his knowledge.

Nothing made sense.

It was never simple enough.

A locked chest of love held many treasures, an outsider would never get to know.

But for the two who held the key, it was quite simple.

#gumlee #gumball #marshall lee #prince gumball #Marshall Lee x Prince Gumball #marball #Adventure Time #atimers #fanfiction #poem #poetic #shit #princess bubblegum #marceline #princess bubblegum and Marceline #Bubbline #sugarless gum #Saraga_Arts Writing

12 notes · View notes

eatgraypes · 7 years

Note

OOP IM HERE FOR THIS ok can i get an IT ship im tinyasf (5'2) im lightskin, straighter than a ruler, gold eyes, im v soft but im also loud and sarcastic and i love pastel colours and exploring my city at night and im funny asf and sometimes im too nice. i have longgg black curly hair, and im an art hoe. yellow and red are my fav colours and you'll never catch me without bubblegum. im really good at advice and calming people down, and i always try to help. sorry if this is weird or too in depthHA

I can definitely see you with Stan. I was leaning towards Bill a little bit but then I reread it, and yeah, it’s Stan.I don’t think it’s just cause of the curly hair or something but that definitely plays into it. You and Stan are both sarcastic, and funny. You’d sneak little jokes in whenever Bill mutters something about Beverly and Stan would laugh then whisper another asshole remark into your ear and you’d both snicker quietly, ignoring Richie suggesting what a great of a couple you’d make.Maybe also because you’re definitely on the shorter side and Stan is a fucking tree. You can fucking climb him.He loves to use you as a rest for his arm and you fucking hate him for it but he secretly loves when you narrow your eyes, pop your gum, and shove his arm off. Both you and Stan share a bond, a bond you can’t quite break. During his Bar Mitzvah you were there, blowing and popping your bland pink bubblegum you’d see ripped from movies and leaned back into your seat next to Richie. Half out of it and dozing off all the while listening to Richie quietly mutter comments underneath his breath and also kinda listening when suddenly Stan moves away to speak into the microphone, sweaty hands tightening around it as his father moved to snatch it away from him. Stan quickly utters a curse into the microphone after finishing the very shocking speech and before you know it, speeds over in your direction, only to pass by you and whisper a quick “sorry” before rushing off. Richie jumps up in a hurry and slowly caps before being pulled down by his mother but your eyes weren’t able to catch it as you dashed off and after Stan.You two spent a lot of time together after that and, he didn’t know how, but he was falling harder than he could stop himself. Whether it was from sneaking sly remarks together whenever Richie would say something stupid, or whenever Henry would commentate on his religion and you’d step in, sarcastic and slightly out of character as your niceness wasn’t there, he loved it. From the top of your curly hair to the bottom of your feet where tons and tons of bubblegum wrappers stood, he loved you. Every inch.

1 note · View note

lady-divine-writes · 7 years

Text

Klaine one-shot - “Death Gets a Life” (Rated PG13)

Death believes that the end of days is at hand.

The other three Horsemen ... not so much. (3494 words)

I'm re-writing this because I love dark!Blaine, I love dark!Kurt, and I thought this one was incredibly well written. But also because I wanted to introduce a whole new slew of readers to this particular au inspired entirely by my son's original AU about the lives of the modern day Horsemen, existing undercover in society. Warning for loose interpretation of religious themes, dark humor, and mild horror imagery.

Read on AO3.

Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back any more …

Giggle.

“Press it again!”

Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back any more …

Giggle, giggle.

“Again! Again!”

Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back any more …

Concealed inside a fake bear head, Blaine Anderson (human persona of Death, Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse) stands behind the Crayola red counter of Build-A-Bear Workshop, a cool purple heat burning in his eyes. For the past fifteen minutes, he’s watched a bubbly, sugar-infused seven-year-old girl, standing on line to get her Frozen Fever Queen Elsa bear stuffed, press the blue button that plays the ten-second sample of the song Let It Go – which Blaine has deemed the most vile song in the universe – over and over and over again.

Blaine is free to glare behind the façade of his furry face, but he has to be careful how he directs the loathing surging through his frail human veins, or else he might unintentionally set this little girl on fire.

What a tragedy that would be, he thinks dryly.

A late-arriving gaggle of the girl’s party guests join her in line, and Blaine knows that this heinous torture is far from over.

Being the store manager of a Build-A-Bear Workshop is bad enough, but birthday parties are the worst, especially when the teenage lackey who normally wears the Bearemy bear suit (Build-A-Bear’s mascot that gets drug out for promotions and special occasions) calls in sick at the last minute and Blaine has to take over.

It’s not the first time. Hasn’t the kid had five grandmothers die in the past two years?

At least this tiny sadist and her minions haven’t started singing …

“Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back any more …”

Twelve squeaky, off-key voices breach the air, and Blaine can smell the polyester inside the head he’s wearing smoke.

“Holy frickin’ …”

“Excuse me, sir?” his obnoxiously upbeat assistant manager asks, beaming at him through the smiling mouth of his costume head as if this is the greatest day of her life – just like every other day between the day that corporate hired her and today. What makes her constantly upbeat attitude even less palatable is the fact that Blaine realized from day one that she has a crush on him … and he despises her for it. Every time she turns her pink bubblegum smile on him, he wants to shout, “No! No! No! No! No!” until the windows shatter and the concrete foundation of the building cracks.

Not yet, he tells himself with a deep breath in and out. Not yet.

“Could you please go to the back and bring out another box of those silver sparkle heels? I have a feeling they’re going to run out soon,” he says, covering for his cursing even though he doesn’t need to. He could have told her anything and she would have believed him.

He just wants to be rid of her.

That perfume she bathes in, thinking it’s going to attract his attention, makes him feel like vomiting with every breath he takes in.

“Righty-o, Mr. Anderson!” she says with an infuriatingly flirty lilt in her voice. “I’ll be right back.”

She doesn’t walk normally. She sort of skips away. Blaine watches her leave, imagining her being chased down and ripped limb from limb by a three-headed dog, maybe even a hydra. Or better yet – a dragon. Then he starts imaging that same dragon scorching the party guests, the ones screaming and screeching and singing that forsaken song, and for the first time that day, he smiles.

Polyester fiberfill lights quickly, he assures himself. This place would burn up like a Roman candle in seconds.

Blaine has lived much longer than the thirty-five years that he lets show on his face, and in that time, centuries upon centuries, he’s seen it all - the depravity of the world rising to a frothy head, ready to overflow, but not in the blatantly blasphemous way it has unfurled in the last hundred years or so.

In the distant past, Blaine has seen good men steal bread to provide food for their families. But these people today steal because they can, and on much larger scales than a single loaf. He’s witnessed a history of people fall to the pride of their own valiant deeds, which ultimately became their downfall, but the people who walk the mall, with their Prada purses and their Rolex watches, out and about just to be seen, are proud of the money they have and the things they can buy, even if they don’t necessarily need them.

He has seen the noblest of rulers get a taste for power, seen it taint them, developing a lust that eventually consumed them. But the people around him, even in this store, who should be enjoying the thrill of childhood innocence and glee, lust after the pettiest things – from people, to cars, to clothes, to the newest cell phones.

Ages ago, he’d have to travel the world to find a single person who embodied all of the deadly sins. In this day and age, he doesn’t have to go much farther than the Westfield Mall.

It’s obvious - to him, at least – that the signs of the end are here. Walk outside this mall, this haven of avarice, and what will he find?

Prejudice.

Intolerance.

Gun violence.

Racism.

Poverty.

Over indulgence.

Bullying.

Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back any more …

That song.

Blaine’s grin grows grotesquely on his face, hidden from view, skin turning black with the raw essence of Death. A single touch of his hand would steal the souls from those present, rendering them victims of righteous judgment … if not for the bear costume he’s wearing.

This is it – the moment they’ve been waiting for. It has to be, and thank goodness. He can’t wait to see it all burn, brought to ruin beneath the blade of his sword, the tromping hoofs of his dark steed. He pulls his arms inside his bear suit, fishes his iPhone out of his pants pocket, and sends out a text to the only three people on his contact list (beside his district manager).

Conquest.

War.

And his personal favorite – Famine.

Oh yeah. Death is calling in the troops with a simple two word message that signals the end of this world.

To: Contact Group – The Horsemen

It’s time.

***

Blaine sits at a two-person table in the food court and watches as the after-hours janitorial staff empties the trash bins, the sound of their sneakers scuffing the tile beneath their feet, echoing throughout the completely empty mall.

It’s 10:57. Almost eleven. The mall has been officially closed for well over an hour. There had been one other manager here, vacuuming in the Hallmark store, but he left half-an-hour ago.

The three gentlemen who had vowed to come to Death at a moment’s notice whenever he called are coming dangerously close to standing him up.

Blaine looks at his cell phone screen and grimaces.

“Where in the hell---?”

It’s then that he hears the click click click of Ferragamo heels hitting the tile, and the smell of sweet vanilla and ginger fills the air.

“Well, hello, stranger,” a sultry voice says. “My, my. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Blaine smiles.

He came. Blaine knew that out of all of them, he would arrive first.

Blaine stands and turns to meet his old friend. “Hello, Kurt. Long time, no see.” He holds out his hand, eager to feel Kurt’s hand in his again.

“Too long, Blaine.” Kurt slips his hand in Blaine’s grasp. Blaine doesn’t often compare anything to this (it’s too painful for him to think about), but Kurt looks like an angel, and smells like a breath of heaven. But regardless of his outward appearance, how he chooses to dress, how he carries himself, there’s power in his hands, a strength that goes beyond whatever it is he does to maintain his physical form. A single sweep of Kurt’s eyes, a snap of his fingers, and everything around them would decay. Food would rot; animals would desiccate, still alive, their hearts beating the blood out of them until they ran dry; plants would wither and die, crumbling to dust.

To Blaine, it’s a huge turn-on.

“You summoned me?” Kurt slips into the chair opposite Blaine’s, taking a second first to wipe the seat down with his handkerchief, set that handkerchief ablaze, then materialize another clean handkerchief to sit upon.

Blaine glances at his phone. “I summoned all of you. You’re the first one here.”

Kurt shifts in his seat, and looks uncomfortably away. “So, you really think it’s time?”

Blaine leans in when he speaks, keeping that glorious smell of ginger and vanilla in his nostrils. “Don’t you?”

“Well, I have mixed opinions on the matter myself.”

“I know,” Blaine says, slightly bitter about Kurt’s opinions. “You’ve shut yourself away in an Ivory Tower since we’ve been exiled here, but I haven’t. I’ve been here, Kurt. In the trenches, so to speak. Living among them. Working with them. You haven’t seen the things that I’ve seen.”

“Such as?” A smile tugs up the corner of Kurt’s mouth, amused by Blaine’s passion over nothing.

“The greed. The vanity. The sloth.”

“I think you’re forgetting that I live in France, my dear,” Kurt remarks. “If you want to see greed and vanity, that’s where you should be.”

Kurt says it like an offer, but Blaine doesn’t seem to catch on.

“It wouldn’t matter where we were, Kurt! In fact, I think you’ve proven my point. It’s everywhere! Don’t you read the papers? Look up CNN on the Internet?”

“Heavens, no!” Kurt laughs. “It’s too depressing!”

“Well I do. Every day. And every day, things get worse. To be honest, I don’t see why He’s let it go on for so long.” Blaine’s eyes dart skyward, as if Kurt might not know to whom he’s referring.

“It’s called free will, Blaine,” Kurt says condescendingly. “He gave it to everyone. Even us, remember?”

“But our free will comes from a place of deciding when enough is enough, in His stead.” Blaine grins his maniacal grin from earlier, nodding at the thoughts of fire and brimstone brewing in his brain.

“It’s time to pull out the swords …” he says, hands gripping the table.

“Blaine …”

“Mount up the horses …”

“B, honey …”

“And bring about an end to the putrescent and filth that has overwhelmed the world!”

Outside, a thunder clap heralds the aftershocks of Blaine’s apocalyptic decree.

The janitors look around, murmuring to each other about whether or not it’s supposed to rain.

Kurt re-crosses his legs and rolls his eyes.

Blaine simmers down and looks back at the screen of his phone. “Where are they? I mean, they should have been here by now. This is unacceptable!”

“Yeah, uh …” Kurt coughs, fiddling with the ruby links in his cuffs to avoid Blaine’s burning gaze “… they texted me before I got here actually.”

Blaine’s eyes snap to Kurt’s face, their purple glow brighter in the dim, energy-efficient lighting.

“And …?” Blaine says, losing patience.

“And,” Kurt counters, not wanting to be in the middle of this, to be the messenger of defiance to Death, of all people, “basically they said that they’re … uh … not coming.”

“Not coming!” Blaine roars, the food court level shaking at the timbre of his voice, sending the janitors scurrying away in preparation for whatever unpredicted storm is coming. “What do you mean not coming!? Haven’t you seen the signs? Haven’t they seen the signs? I can’t be the only one! The time is nigh!”

“Yeah,” Kurt says, still finding it difficult to look Blaine in the eye when he’s on a murderous rant like this, “but, what if it wasn’t … you know … nigh?”

Blaine stares at Kurt, appalled. Kurt is tempted to laugh, but even though he’s a Horseman, too, making fun of Death himself? That’s plain stupid no matter who you are.

But Kurt has to do something before Blaine opens a hole in the earth and swallows San Diego.

“Come on, Blaine! We don’t need to open the seals. These people are destroying themselves. Besides, we’ve got it good here.”

“Maybe you guys do,” Blaine argues. “Conquest won another MMA title ...”

“Did you catch that fight?” Kurt jumps in. “Puck killed it! Figuratively, of course.”

“No,” Blaine deadpans. “I don’t get pay-per-view.”

“Oh,” Kurt mouths, motioning for Blaine to keep talking.

“War opened that Hot Springs corporate retreat in Utah …”

“Yeah.” Kurt laughs, shaking his head at the thought of Dave, with his insane temper and thirst for battle, surrounded by bamboo sprigs in glasses of spring water, and teaching classes in Feng Shui. “I’m lucky I got in on the ground floor with that one. Best investment I ever made.”

Blaine glares at Kurt, eyes violet with rage, and Kurt sobers up immediately.

“Sorry,” he says. “Continue.”

“And you!” Blaine gestures at Kurt in his expensive McQueen suit and his highlighted hair. (Was that new? Blaine doesn’t know. He hasn’t seen Kurt in … could it be that long?) “Famine – running the most exclusive five-star restaurant in Paris! But look at me, Kurt! I’m Death! I’m the Fourth Horseman! The scourge of the Earth! Even without the three of you riding beside me, I would still reign supreme as the greatest terror in the minds of men, and I’m the manager of a fucking Build-A-Bear, for His sake!”

“You didn’t have to be the manager of a Build-A-Bear,” Kurt says with a sarcastic quirk to his lips. “I mean, wasn’t Hot-Dog-on-a-Stick hiring?”

“I’m serious, Kurt!” Blaine slaps the table with the flat of his hand, making the floor beneath them quake. “Of all of us, I’m the only one who took our mission seriously. I’m the only one of you who laid in wait. I didn’t search for glory for myself!”

“And why not?” Kurt asks.

Blaine opens his mouth to argue, but he can’t. He doesn’t have an answer to that other than he was doing his job. But Kurt is right. The Almighty might have put them on Earth to wait for signs of the Apocalypse, but He didn’t exactly instruct them on what they should be doing while they waited. Blaine put himself in this position. At least he can admit it to himself.

But he can’t take Kurt’s teasing anymore, not when his once lover has been living the high life while he spends his afternoons stocking shelves with teddy bear accessories.

Kurt watches Blaine’s back bow and sighs. It hurts his soul to see Death look so … defeated.

“Look, Blaine, what you’ve been doing is commendable, but you didn’t have to abandon yourself to squalor in order to do it. Going about things this way was your choice. But be a big boy and own up to it! You can’t go destroying humanity and bringing about the plagues of Egypt because you got stuck working minimum wage!”

Blaine tries to turn away in his cramped, unyielding seat, wedging his back painfully against the edge of the table in the process. Kurt puts a hand on Blaine’s shoulder.

“You know, you might be here right now, Blaine, but this isn’t where you were meant to end up.”

Blaine wrenches an inch farther and pulls away. “I don’t need your pity, Kurt.”

Kurt looks at Blaine – looks at Death – in his blue work polo and khaki pants, and in his head, he smirks.

You need something.

“Blaine” - Kurt puts his hand back on Blaine’s shoulder where it had been shrugged off, massaging gently so he won’t be tempted to slough him off again - “when’s the last time you’ve been to Paris?”

“I don’t know? The Black Plague, maybe?”

“Exactly! It’s been far too long. You’ve made being Death all about the end of days. And where has it gotten you, hmm? I’ll tell you where – wearing a bear suit and dancing for a crowd of screaming kids, that’s where.”

Blaine’s cheeks pink at that.

How the hell did he know?

Did that mean that Kurt’s been checking up on him?

“Oh, so … you saw that, huh?”

“Yup.” Kurt bites back a laugh. “I did.” He gets up from his seat and steps in front of Blaine, needing to see his face – even this weak human face, which was so unlike his Horseman Death at all. “We’ve been given this time on Earth to live among the humans, and when we started, we thought it was a prison sentence. But maybe living with the humans isn’t about condemning them.”

Blaine locks eyes with Kurt, and the violet flame within them goes out. That was always Kurt’s super power – not the decay or the destruction.

Being able to put the fire of rage that burned hot inside Blaine, like an eternal pyre, to rest.

“Then what is it about?”

“Maybe it’s about understanding them. He’s given them so many chances. Maybe we’re part of that. There’s so much more for them to learn yet, Blaine. You, too.”

Kurt puts a comforting hand on Blaine’s knee and Blaine takes it, running his thumb over the thin skin that hides Kurt’s true form. Blaine always thought Kurt’s true form was gorgeous, a sight to behold, the thing of nightmares and glory. A flash of Kurt’s magnificence can bring anyone, human and angel alike, to their knees.

But this - this shallow, human contact - is nice, too.

“So, what do you think I should do?”

“I think you should come with me,” Kurt says. “Come to France. Work as a sous chef in my kitchen.” Blaine hisses at the thought of more work and Kurt laughs. “Or don’t work. Go to the Louvre, walk along the Seine, learn to paint. Forget about being Death for a while and learn what it’s like to be Blaine.”

“And … you and me?” Blaine asks. He hadn’t intended to. This isn’t about the two of them. It hadn’t been for eons. But he can’t help it. The worst thing about the decision he made to live as a human was the amount of time he’s spent away from Kurt.

“We can talk about you and me on the way,” Kurt says with a wink.

Blaine nods. That’s a good enough answer for him.

“Okay,” Blaine says. “You’re right. I don’t need this. I don’t need to be here. I’m going to be like you guys, find my niche, become disgustingly wealthy, and watch the world fall apart on its own, without me even having to lift a finger.”

“There you go!” Kurt gives Blaine’s knee a squeeze. “Now let’s go. The smell in this place is getting to me. I didn’t think anything could smell worse than rotting intestines, but something over there …” He gestures vaguely towards a cluster of locked kiosks “… is burning my sinuses.”

“That would be Panda Express.”

“Well then, if we ever do lay waste to the world, remind me to start there.” Kurt stands, brushing off the seat of his pants. “I’ve got a limo waiting outside, and a private plane …”

“Great, great …” Blaine stands, taking off at a powerwalk “… but there’s something important I need to do first.”

Blaine heads to the escalator with a curious Kurt close behind. He travels down a floor to where Build-A-Bear workshop is located – the first thing anyone sees when they get off the escalator, therefore generating tons of lookie-loo traffic during store hours, especially at Christmas.

Blaine despises the mall at Christmas.

He peeks in through the window, behind the counter, where he left the Bearemy costume before locking up. He stares at it, remembering the last six years of his life – the screaming, the constant singing, the over-the-top laughing, the joking at his expense, the birthday parties he couldn’t give a shit about, the bratty kids climbing all over him, the parents who thought that he would act as babysitter just because he worked there and was dressed like a giant walking stuffed animal. He lets his abhorrence for consumerism, for materialism, for the blight on society that capitalism has become overwhelm him.

And Bearemy’s smiling head bursts into flames.

“Blaine!” Kurt gasps, only half-serious when he bats him on the arm.

“He deserves it.” Blaine shreds his polo and leaves it on the floor outside. With any luck, his assistant manager will find it in the morning and think he was mauled by a bear.

The irony doesn’t escape him.

He takes Kurt’s hand, sizzling beneath the surface with the need to destroy something, too, and walks toward the exit.

“Now, let’s get the hell out of here.”

#klaine fanfiction #klaine fic #klaine #frankie writes

19 notes · View notes