#the romance is in fact a very important part of the books
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Katniss and Peeta's relationship embodies the Love Conquers All theme. Regardless of their individual assets, neither of them would've won the Games alone. They won because they were a team, because they kept saving each other, because they cared about each other too much to let one another other die. This was what gave the revolution life: two tributes leaving an arena alive, an impossibility made possible by love. And it would only survive as long as they did because their lives and their love were eternally tied to the hope that the Games could be defeated for good. The star-crossed lovers had to find a way to be together against all odds in order for the rebellion to succeed. That's the whole point.
#there is no story without katniss and peeta's love#there is no story if peeta or katniss dies at any point#idk how people don't see that#piggybacking off my last post#the romance is in fact a very important part of the books#everlark#the hunger games
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Alhaitham is a very 0-100 guy when it comes to romance. Either he has utterly no interest in it Whatsoever, or he’s gotten a special someone and now NEEDS to show them he cares abt them however he can, whenever he can, or he’d fucken die-
#hc; alhaitham#//Jkjk#//But he does make SUCH an effort to try and finds ways to show his care; reads all the books; hears all the suggestions/stories#//Makes the biggest effort to make them feel loved; to make sure they’re happy with him#//He knows he’s not the best socializing and knows they’ve already prolly Not have the best view of him at times#//But dangit; he will TRY#//Its a Very Big Deal to him when he comes to terms with the fact that he’s in love#//Esp bc it takes a Very Important Connection to foster it#//Same goes for his sex drive#//Dude’s got little to no urge whatsoever for the most part#//But then the moment his PARTNER gives him the okay?#//Dude’s gonna wanna break in the house like an Orc hdbfb#//He does take it a bit hard when his attempts to romance his partner fall through/don't work as intended#//But he gives himself only a couple minutes to process it; reflect; then look for another way he can make up for this attempt
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𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕
✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Jungkook x Reader
✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: The one where everytime you get dumped you pretend that you never met the guy before to mess with their heads. To the point that if you run into them somewhere you reintroduce yourself and act like you’ve never seen each other before.
Enters fuckboy Jungkook who disappears after your night together, not knowing how much he was about to regret that choice.
✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔: Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, College AU
✿ 𝑨/𝑵: I’m truly sorry for this sad excuse of an update.
(Fanfic masterlist)
(support me on my ko-fi)
°•. ✿ .•°
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐨 - 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐲, 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬
(<<< part one)
“I can’t believe you’re doing this again” Jane’s voice rang through the phone as you walked down the streets towards your desired coffee spot.
You also couldn’t believe you were doing that again. You tried your best to live your life with no regrets, but men made it very hard.
“Have you seen him since he fled the crime scene?”
“Stop calling it a crime scene” you snapped.
“Well, have you?”
Your silence was enough of an answer. No, you had not seen or heard from Jungkook since he ran away from your bedroom in the dead of night, leaving behind only the smell of cologne and, funnily enough, a single sock. When you woke up that day to an empty bed, sheets crumbled and a mattress indented on the side where he had slept, all you could muster was a tired sigh of disappointment.
And to be completely honest, you were disappointed with yourself, not Jungkook. You expected nothing less than a quick escape of him. But you should’ve known better than to hope for anything. Despite everything, you were still an idealist at heart and you thought that maybe just this once…
You shook your head obstinately. You had learned early on that no good would come from moping around for men who would never once feel any regret for their thoughtless actions and if your pain were to be always one sided, then it was better not to feel any at all. Not to dwell on it, move on, learn from it and be better. Or be worse, sometimes, as self-improvement was not always your goal.
Sometimes, you chose to listen to the tiny revengeful angel on your shoulder - who kind of sounded like Taylor Swift - that screamed for violence and vindication.
As your failed relationships started to pile up, you did reach a point where you had to wonder if you were the problem, as it was the canonical event of all 20 something women. But observation, therapy, critical thinking and hereditary pettiness brought you to the decision that it was not, in fact, your fault. At least not all of it.
With that in mind, you left only the smallest of time slots in your booked and busy schedule to ponder and grieve over the fickle nature of boys’ interests. You had better, more important things to do, such as mindlessly scroll through Minecraft/AITA videos and save pilates routines that you were never gonna do.
Still, in an experience intrinsically feminine, you allowed yourself a little treat to cope with the slight burn of despondency in the back of your mind.
And so you directed yourself to the bougie coffee house near campus, hoping to drown your sorrows with an aggressively sweet and overly caffeinated drink.
“You should slash his tires”
“Jane, please, we have talked about this.”
“You should totally slash his fucking tires!"
"Saying it louder is not gonna make me agree with you! Jane…"
Suddenly your eyes found Jungkook's across the room filled to the brim with depressed, financially irresponsible students, making you pause and hold back the urge to curl your lips in distaste. It bothered you that even with scared eyes as big as saucers and hunched shoulders to appear smaller, Jungkook still managed to look good.
But you knew better than to let him know how much his presence and pretty face annoyed you. Boys like Jungkook only cared about having an impact on people’s life, very rarely caring if it was good or bad. He wanted a reaction out of you and you learned better than to give those away so carelessly.
So you frowned and looked away, the words practiced on your lips as you said “Some guy is staring at me.”
Jane laughed loudly on the phone “You’re a psycho, you know that?”
“I don’t know who it is, Jane, some dude” you stole a quick glance at him, finding vengeful glee at his shocked expression.
“Send me a pic of his reaction, I’m posting it on TikTok.”
You continued playing your part, ignoring your sister’s interruptions as you usually did “Of course I’m carrying a taser, Jane, I’m not an animal…”
“I’ll give you 5 bucks to tase him.”
“You know what, this coffee is not even worth the visual harassment, God I hate men…”
You walked out of the coffee house, hand empty but with a fulfilled sick sense of accomplishment as you stepped out into the street with a shit-eating grin.
“I hope you know what you’re doing” Jane said and you could hear the smile in her voice. Out of your two sisters, Jane was never the one to tell you to not do something, preferring to let you make your own mistakes.
And boy, did you.
You left your big, beautiful, tattooed mistake behind you, ready to move on to something less prone to disappointment, such as fictional men and your Stardew Valley husband “Dont worry” you told your sister “I don’t.”.
—
“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, left eye twitching slightly at your unbothered expression.
After your confusing exit from the coffee shop and a good amount of jabs from his friends, Jungkook had to hunt you down across campus, finding you sitting under a tree with a book in your hands, looking way too peaceful for someone who just had humiliated him.
You looked down at your book with an arched eyebrow “Kegels, clearly. Why?”
“No, I mean…” Jungkook’s frustration was rising by the second, the vein on his neck jumping out “Why are you acting like you don’t know me?”
You frowned.
“Do I know you?” you asked, face doubtful.
“We have classes together?”
You blinked, impassive.
“We went on a date?”
A head shake.
“We slept together!”
“Nope, can’t say it rings any bells.”
That’s it. Jungkook was actually convinced you were clinically insane.
“How can you not remember?”
“How can I remember something that never happened?”
“But it did! You’re crazy! I chased you for weeks!”
You smiled, a trap.
“So, you're, like, in love with me?” you ask, tone condescending.
Jungkook scoffed and you weren’t sure if it was at the idea of love or loving you. “No, of course not.”
“So in this dream scenario of yours, we had sex but we weren’t together?”
“Trust me, this” he gestured between the two of you “is no dream scenario.”
“Well, aren’t you a charmer” you crossed your arms in front you, defensive “Let me get this straight. You, allegedly, chased me for weeks, but don’t really like me. Then, we had casual, out-of-relationship sex and then what? You banged my head against the headboard so hard I completely forgot about it? Your story is full of holes, my dude.”
You had to fight back the urge to smirk, energy spiking from feeding off of Jungkook’s stupefied confusion.
Nail in the coffin, you shrugged, turning your eyes back to your book “Maybe you weren’t that memorable and my mind deleted you like a childhood trauma.”
A slight left eye spasm was all the reaction you got at first, evolving to the pursing of pouty lips and the clenching of fists.
“You are insane” he said at last after seconds of turning clogs in his barely filled mind.
“Finally you said something true.”
Jungkook was equally bewildered and furious. He didn’t know what your deal was or what you were getting out of this, but your refusal to admit you had sex pissed him off deeply considering how much time and effort he put into getting you together.
“Also, I have to ask” you continued, clearly not done with your pursuit of driving him up the wall “what was your goal with this conversation? Chasing me for weeks to then sleep with me and then come here and tell me you’re not actually interested in me, but being upset when I don’t remember something that didn’t happen… What’s the point?”
Jungkook paused. Truly, he didn’t have much of an end goal in mind, actions fueled only by a bruised ego and a childish, borderline pathological need to prove himself.
When he didn’t answer, you stood up and gathered your things, keeping your head down to hide your poorly concealed satisfaction “I’ll let you ponder on that” you said “Don’t worry about reaching out with an answer, though.”
Finally, you looked up at him, face masked with faux awkwardness. “Anyway. Nice to meet you, I guess? No, actually, not really, this was weird as shit. You seem to have some things to figure out. Get help and take care, my dude.”
And so you left, leaving behind only a cloud of your bergamot perfume and a perplexed Jungkook blinking owlishly.
There was a sudden influx of thoughts rushing through his usually much less busy mind, the general tone of confusion ringing amongst humiliation and frustration.
When Jungkook first set his greedy eyes on you, he had an inkling that you’d be a handful and in the beginning, you truly were. You took pleasure in making everything much more difficult for him, running from his presence like the plague and approaching the whole subject of him like one would the subject of warts - reluctantly and with caution.
And if he were honest, he wasn’t too sure on why he insisted, but one would be surprised at how far Jungkook would escalate things out of spite and resentment.
It was that same sick combination of flavors that drove him insane for weeks, moving him to pester you until you gave him a chance. And he took it, lord, did he take it.
That night, he made every possible effort to please you, cloaked in his best, non-ranch stained clothes and best non-arrogant behavior.
And when morning came and he opened up his eyes before you did, tired out from the epitome of his bestest behavior, there was a moment of quiet as he watched you eyelids flutter delicately, soft arm draped lightly over his waist.
The night before had been… Fun, he thought, even before you had reached your bedroom. You were weird and used a bunch of words he didn’t know, but you also made him laugh and listened to him babbling about his interest without once looking bored, even going as far as asking questions about his farfetched MCU theories.
And despite your many (too many to count, insurmountable really) differences, you had… Chemistry, one could call it. Thick chemistry, palpable tension, pushing you towards each other despite your previous attempts to go the other way.
But no amount of chemistry could break Jungkook’s routine as inertia pushed him out of your bed, practiced steps light as feathers as he escaped your apartment with one last look to your sleeping form and somehow one less sock on his feet.
And as he left, there was an undiagnosed pounding in his heart he tried to chalk off as the result of his Dorito and monster drink based diet, but his eyes kept flashing back to where you rested even when he was miles away.
He tried to make sense of your persistent presence in the back of his mind. You were cool, he’d give you that. Hot too. But it didn’t matter how your body fit his like they were manufactured together or how your passive aggressive way of flirting (or insulting, he had a hard time telling them apart with you) never failed to steal a snort from his lips. And yeah, it was kind of nice when you called him cute everytime he didn’t understand something you said. It brought a blush to his cheeks and wild butterflies to his stomach, because… Well, no one had ever called him cute after middle school. Hot? Yes. Sexy? Once a week. Biggest dick ever? Yes, both meanings.
But not cute. And deep down, under layers of aggressively oversized shirts and muscles… Jungkook kind of liked being cute.
Jungkook shook that thought away. Despite all that, you were a point he had to make.
And he did! Point proven and undisputed, up until you looked at him like he was a silly little kid throwing a tantrum (which he kind of was) and questioned him and his sanity,
But Jungkook was obstinate and, even more, the sorest of losers. He had proven himself once and would again! He was a man on a mission, he decided, watching you walk away from him while mouthing the words “I’ll pray for you!”. And the mission was to either send you into a psychiatric hospital or get you back into his bed.
And if the butterflies in his stomach fluttered excitedly at that second prospect, he didn’t allow himself to ponder on it for a single second.
°•. ✿ .•°
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the things we do for love
summary: secrets can never be kept for long. eventually, the truth always comes out, and so do the consequences of it.
warnings: mentions of blood, pregnancy, birth, fight, death; there's a flashback scene in the middle.
pairings: helion x reader (platonic); inner circle x reader (platonic)
words: 7.6k
you are a scholar from day court. but you are not just a simple scholar — you are the best.
you were known for graduating at the top of your class and for your impeccable reputation of never failing a project and never leaving a question unanswered.
you have always been a very curious person, and the fact that you grew up in day court gave you the privilege of having access to the best libraries with the best books in prythian.
that's why books were your life and the fact you liked to have an answer for everything, even though helion called you a know-it-all from time to time, and even if that irritated you a little, it was true.
whenever a question arose that you didn't know the answer to, you made it your personal mission to find one.
even if it meant having to read dozens, if not hundreds of books, but that part you never care about.
besides, the libraries were your favorite places, especially the one near the pegasus stables.
the only thing you liked more than books was pegasus.
you thought they were the most magnificent creatures your eyes had ever had the pleasure of seeing.
your favorite was meallan, who was also helion's favorite — it was with him that you learned to ride a pegasus, and he was your favorite partner to fly and enjoy the sky.
besides being curious, you were also a very adventurous person, and it was your sense of adventure that got you into trouble.
one day, you decided that it would be a great idea to combine the two things you love most in this world — books and pegasus.
so you tried flying with meallan while reading one of your romance books, only to get distracted when the scenery in the book started to heat up and lose your balance.
your luck? meallan wasn't flying very high when it happened.
your bad luck? a broken leg and a very big and angry lecture from helion.
when he heard what you did, he banned you from flying with meallan or any of the other pegasus again for months.
which led you to focus on books again for a while, which helped a lot during your recovery.
your reputation caught rhysand's attention.
the high lord of the night court was in the middle of researching the cauldron.
rumors about hybern being in search of it for a new war had reached his ears, and as all high lords should, he began to prepare for war but the truth is that his library could not be compared with those at day court.
even with the help of the priestesses, he was unable to find almost anything.
that's where you entered the equation.
during a meeting between the night court and day court at helion's palace, rhysand mentioned your name.
helion wasn't surprised.
he knew very well what you were capable of, and in that moment, he couldn't hide the pride he felt for you.
he knew what rhysand was about to ask of him.
he wanted you to join him and his inner circle in velaris and help with the research, and if possible, bring some books from your court on the subject for them to read as well.
helion had no problem with you helping them, afterall rhysand was one of his longest friends.
the only thing he didn't like was putting you in the enemy's attention.
if hybern found out, you'd have a target on your back.
helion explained his worries to the high lord of the night court and his inner circle that were seated beside him.
he explained to them how you were not just another citizen of his court.
you were important and very close to him.
he told them how your mother was one of his best friends for centuries, and when she died, he took you under his care.
the night court assured him that they would treat you like family and that they would not let anything bad happen to you.
before helion could respond, your voice filled the conference room, "i'll do it."
all the heads turned in your direction, helion leaned back in his chair and ran a hand over his face, "how many times do I have to tell you not to eavesdrop?"
with an innocent smile, you replied, "i wasn't eavesdropping. i was passing by, and i heard my name."
"really? you were just passing by?" helion didn't believe you for a second.
the inner circle watched the scene unfold in front of them with amusement in their faces.
"hm-hm" was your response.
helion interlaced his hands and with an amused look — one that you knew very well and that meant he was about to corner you — "and where were you going, if i may ask?"
"i. . .hm, i-" you paused to think, before an idea came to your mind "ah, i was going to the kitchen. yes, that's where i was going."
helion chuckled, "the same kitchen that is on the other side of the palace, and you can't access it from this floor?"
your smile fell, and you realized you had been caught.
he was right, this floor was for political purposes only — helion's office, the conference room they were in now, an armament room and the map room which was mainly used by helion's general and his soldiers.
everyone tried to contain their laughter at your expression and when you tried to come up with a quick response and couldn't, you decided to admit defeat.
"okay, okay, i wasn't just passing by. what do you want me to say? you know i'm curious."
"indeed, i do." he gave you a smile.
raising from his seat, he gestured for you to approach him, and when you did, he wrapped you in a side hug. "y/n, meet the inner circle."
you couldn't help but linger your gaze on the shadowsinger. he was stupidly handsome, and no one should look that good.
the laughter caught your attention, and when you looked at them, you noticed that everyone was smiling except helion.
realizing what had just happened, you said, "shit, did i just say that out loud?" a hand coming to cover your mouth that was starting to form into a nervous smile.
"unfortunately," helion replied with a roll of his eyes.
another thing you were also, besides being curious and adventurous — is being honest.
you are not, and you have never been afraid to say what you think and be direct about it.
helion has always really liked that trait of yours but not at the moment, especially when you're using it to flirt with the male in front of you.
"okay, enough." he averted his gaze to azriel, "stop looking at her like that before i regret all of this."
the shadowsinger raised his hand in surrender with a smile playing on his lips.
helion released a sigh before looking at you. "are you sure about this? you don't have to do it if you don't want to."
you gave him an assured smile, "i'm sure, i can do this. besides, it's what i was trained for, right?"
the word 'trained' led you to another thought, one that helion wasn't very fond of "oh, can you train me while i'm there?" you asked the general.
cassian was surprised by the question. no one ever asked him to train them before, and if they did, it wouldn't be a female.
that made him feel a strange sensation in his chest, one that he wasn't used to. was it, pride?
"of course," he had no problem in saying.
"awesome. i'm going to pack my things." you gave them one last smile before exiting the room.
with the door shutting behind you, helion turned to his old friend, "alright. rhysand, i'm trusting you, all of you, with her. so. . .do not fail me. unless you would like to see me very angry." helion added a little of enfase with his high lord voice.
rhysand chuckled at his words, but he knew the male meant every single one of them "we won't."
helion turned to cassian, "oh, and cassian? be careful when you eventually put a weapon on y/n's hands. she's a little curious and clumsy even though she never lost or ruined a book, which is kinda of a surprise, actually."
cassian laughed while crossing his amra over his chest, "it can't be that bad."
helion gave them a nervous laugh before telling them one of your many stories.
"i once tried to teach her archery because she was interested and when i was teaching her how to shoot an arrow, she got distracted with a butterfly that was flying near her and the arrow that was supposed to go into the target, end up going into one of the gardener's legs. who, by the way, was on the other side of the garden."
cassian's smile dropped, and he's arms fell to the side.
everyone else laughed, if it was at your story or at his reaction, cassian didn't know.
"oh, this is going to be fun," morrigan said with a "i already like her," followed by amren.
"no weapons, got it." cassian said before starting to re-think about his life's choices.
•••
you were finishing packing when helion entered your bedroom chambers.
"everything okay?" he asked you.
"yes, i already have everything i need."
you turned to look at him and when you saw his worried look, you gave him a gentle smile "don't worry. i'm going to be fine."
"i know," he reciprocated the smile and approached you.
his hands fond your shoulders and he gave them a tight squeeze "remember, no one can know. it needs to remain a secret."
"yes, i know. i'm not going to tell them." you promised.
"good," helion gave your shoulders one last squeeze before letting them go, "now, have fun but please be careful with the weapons during training with cassian. we wouldn't want you to lose a finger."
"or him," you added, making you and helion laugh.
"or him," he repeated your words with a chuckle, "also, don't forget our agreement," helion reminded you with a stern look.
you rolled your eyes but with a chuckle escaping your lips, "i know."
"four letters during the week," he said while smiling at your antics, warmth in his eyes "deal?"
"deal."
•••
everything was going well.
you had been at the night court for about three months now and the research about the cauldron and hybern had progressed a lot with your help.
you loved velaris and adjusted very well but instead of staying with the inner circle, like rhysand offered, you decided to rent a house near the sidra so you could explore the city of starlight at your own pace.
and because you never lived alone before and decided to try it — 'a new adventure' that's what you wrote to helion in the letter.
he didn't liked it.
you also did that, so you had a reason for the shadowsinger to fly you to the house of wind and then back to yours —but you decide to leave that little detail out of the letter.
the library at the house of wind made you feel at home and helped with your homesickness.
the priestesses adored you and found your presence comforting. the only thing they didn't like very much was when you disappeared for a few hours and they had to alert the inner circle.
they found you on the last floor of the library drinking tea while talking to bryaxis much to cassian's dismay.
when they asked you about it you blamed your curiosity — you had heard some priestesses talking about the creature that lived in the library while searching for a book.
you went to the edge of the stairs and when you looked down, you found nothing, and you needed to know what this creature was like so your feet started moving before you could stop them.
you end up finding that bryaxis was really good at telling stories and you thought he was friendly.
cassian didn't liked it.
you were doing remarkable work, rhysand had complimented you multiple times for it.
you were respecting the agreement and sending four letters as agreed and cassian still had all his fingers and toes but the same couldn't be said about the ear he almost lost when you got distracted during sword training.
two months without any incident — or almost.
but that changed the day a letter from the night court arrived ar helion's office.
•••
helion never winnowed so fast as he did when he received the letter from rhysand explaining about what happened to you.
the moment helion set a foot on the night court's ground, he was quick to make his way to rhysand and grab him by the colar of his shirt.
"what the hell happened?" he yelled.
rhysand's eyes widened, never in his four hundred years of friendship, had he seen his friend reacting like this.
rhysand told him everything.
how you didn't show up in the library this morning and clotho noticed your absence.
how no one had seen you since last night and after checking if you were in the library or the rooftop training which you weren't, they decided to come to your house to check on you.
how they found the door of your house open and when they check the inside. . .
the house was destroyed.
broken furniture, paintings lying on the floor, shattered objects, torn cushions and then, blood.
not just yours but also whoever invaded.
apparently, training with cassian had worked, because you put up a good fight to the invaders.
and then there were the scents.
the scent of qutumn soldiers.
at least five different scents lingered in the air but they were starting to disappear so they suspected you had been taken at least two hours ago.
and when the explanation ended, helion finally released his friend's shirt and took a step back.
helion panicked.
you kidnapped?
autumn soldiers?
helion knew what this meant.
he had found out the truth and came for you.
all the emotions started overwhelming helion — anger, worry, fear, rage.
this couldn't be happening.
it couldn't be true.
helion leaned over to try to ease the pain he felt in his chest.
but it didn't work.
raising his head, the inner circle watched as helion's golden eyes darkened — anger.
he was going to find you, and he was going to bring you home — to him.
even if it meant he would have to destroy the autumn court with his bare hands, like he did once, to some beasts, centuries ago.
"don't worry, helion, we're going to find your scholar," rhysand promised him.
"she's not just my scholar!" the high lord of day shouted.
he shouted so loud that the birds that were posing on the trees nearby flew away as fast as their wings allowed.
feyre moved forward and placed her hand on helion's arm, trying to comfort him as much as she could, "what do you mean by that?"
helion met the high lady's eyes, and all she found in them was pain and fear.
his lip trembled, and after taking a few deep breaths, he told her the truth.
the truth that no one was prepared for.
"she's my daughter."
the inner circle stilled at his words. for a few moments the only sounds heard, was their breathings.
this was unknown to them, helion had never mentioned a child of his own.
"y/n is my daughter, and she's the princess of the day court."
before any of them had the chance to say something, helion raised his hand and signaled his second in command to approach him.
the male had refused to let his high lord come alone after reading that letter "benjen."
benjen approached him and stood to his full height, ready to receive his orders. "yes, high lord?
"i need you to send a letter to rris, tell him what happened and that he needs to come to velaris as soon as he can."
helion paused for a second, very well aware of the gazes the inner circle were sending his way, "and also tell him not to show the letter to anyone, as soon as he finishes reading it, he must burn it immediately."
"of course, high lord." bejen replied and gave a small nod before leaving to carry out his order.
at the exit of one of his most trusted friends, helion looked turned to face the inner circle, and he only had a second to breathe before the shadowsinger spoke.
"why are you sending a letter to eris? What does he have to do with y/n?" he asked him, with worry and confusion on his face.
if autumn had really captured you, he didn't want to waste another minute.
"everything."
tired of his riddles, rhysand spoke, from one high lord to another.
"helion, tell us what's going on? how is y/n your daughter, and why did i never know about it?"
"how is eris connected to her? and why has she taken by autumn soldiers?" cassian added.
helion released a long breath and pitched the bridge of his nose.
he approached his old friend, and with a stern look and a firm voice, he said, "if i tell you, rhysand. . .you and your inner circle can't tell anyone."
rhysand looked back, and with the firm nods of his family, he returned his look to helion before extending his hand to him "i promise."
helion took his hand, and a bargain was made.
a tattoo in the shape of the sun appeared on the back of their necks.
helion gave him a nod before telling him, "y/n's mother didn't die, and she wasn't just a random lover."
the inner circle approached at the sound of the new information the spell cleaver was sharing them.
they formed a circle around helion, as if the keep the information within it.
"y/n is the result of an affair that i had eighty-two years ago."
helion paused, aware of what he was about to say. once his words came out, he couldn't go back.
"she's mine and elowyn's daughter."
several gasps were heard out loud. they froze in their place's with shock spreading through their features.
oh, this was bad.
this was very bad.
"you mean. . .?" feyre wasn't able to finish her sentence, too afraid to say it.
"yes." he said, his eyes locked on the high lady's blue ones, "the lady of autumn is her mother."
helion sighed, and turned with his back facing them "we kept it a secret all these years so beron wouldn't find out, but apparently, he has."
helion took a step back and passed a hand through his long black hair. "that's how y/n is connected to eris. he's her older brother."
mor spoke for the first time since all of this happened. "but how does he know?"
helion looked at her. "because eris was the one who brought y/n to me on the day she was born."
•••
eight-two years ago
the sun had left a long time ago.
the night had already come with it's dark sky, shiny stars, and smooth breeze.
the entire prythian was thankful for it.
every citizen from every court just wanted today's day to end.
no one understood or had an explanation for the events of today.
it didn't make sense.
prythian was in the height of winter — two weeks from the Winter Solstice to be more precise.
and even though the seasonal courts didn't follow the natural course of nature, they, too, were affected.
during the entire day, the sun shined like it had never shined before, releasing an unbearable heat that prythian had never felt before.
not even the summer court or the day court have had a sun like that before.
and these were the two courts best known for their warm suns.
even winter court, known for it's constant cold, and it's land always decorated with snow and ice felt uncomfortable with the sun.
nothing happened differently during the course of today's day to explain the reaction from the sun.
there was no reason for it.
except, there was, they just didn't know that.
—
the letter came a few minutes after helion had finished his dinner.
he, too, was contemplating about the sun's behavior earlier.
he even made his way to one of his many libraries to see if this event had ever happened before but he found nothing.
it wasn't strange for the sun to shine like it did today.
they've had their fair share of hot summers but for the sun to shine like that during the winter?
that didn't make sense.
and with all the libraries and even more the books he owned, there had to be an answer somewhere.
the high lord of day was in the middle of reading a book when the letter appeared on top of it.
the letter had brown tones with leaf patterns and an intense scent of pine — Autumn.
that was the second strange thing that happened today.
why — of all the Courts — would autumn be sending him a letter?
it was then that he noticed that the letter did not come from beron.
the stamped seal did not belong to the high lord.
no, the seal was in the shape of a hound.
the heir's beloved creatures and personal seal.
eris Vanserra sent him a letter — a personal letter.
without further hesitation, helion opened the letter and read the content hidden within.
if he was confused before, he is even more now.
the letter contained three simple instructions: "meet me at the border between day and dawn in twenty minutes. come alone and don't let anyone see you. burn the letter once you finish reading it."
now, this was even stranger than the sun's behavior.
—
helion knew that he was most likely making a mistake.
meeting eris alone at the border could very well be a trap, but on second thought, what reason did the heir have to ambush him?
the answer was none.
he knew that eris was not the cruel and arrogant male he appeared to be.
he knew that deep down eris was good, honest and kind and that the rest was nothing more than a mask that he had created because of beron.
that's why helion followed his instructions.
he just hoped he didn't regret it.
as agreed, eris appeared exactly twenty minutes after sending the letter.
the high lord of day decided to arrive a little earlier as a precaution, just to make sure there were no hidden hounds ready to attack his legs, especially today that he was wearing a new robe.
helion had no idea what this secret meeting was about.
he came to think that perhaps the heir was moments away from asking him for help to take down beron, but he came to the conclusion that if that were the case, it wasn't him that eris would ask for help, but the night court, so he scrapped that idea and was left with no other.
therefore, he had no expectations for this meeting — if it could be called that.
but the last thing he expected was to see eris vanserra with a newborn in his arms.
—
the day was already feeling long, but with the sun shining like that and the unbearable heat that came from it, it only made it seem even longer.
elowyn, lady of the autumn court, had now been in labor for three hours.
the eighth child of beron vanserra and elowyn was about to come into the world.
and like all the other births, beron was far away from the room where his wife was.
but eris was there.
just like he was at all the births of his younger brothers, holding his mother's hand like he always did.
eris loved his mother more than anything, and one of the reasons he wanted to overthrow beron so much was so she could be free and happy.
he also knew that lucien was her favorite son, and although it hurt him, he would still do anything for her.
but what was unknown to eris was that he was her favorite son too.
eris was surprised when his mother announced that she was pregnant again.
after all, lucien had born more than four hundred years ago.
another brother was something that the young heir wasn't expecting.
but he couldn't not be happy.
besides he always liked taking care of his brothers when they were younger, and after everything that happened maybe a baby was exactly what they needed.
as his mother pushed again, eris began to think about all the things he was going to teach the new member of the family — fishing, hunting, fighting, reading, writing, camping but most importantly how to control his powers.
that was something eris didn't have.
no one taught him how to control and use his fire, and that led the healers to treat a lot of burns because of it, and he wasn't going to let this baby go through what he did.
his mother's scream shook him away from those thoughts, and Eris refocused all his attention on her and made sure to hold her hand tighter, assuring his mother that he wasn't going anywhere.
not until his brother was born.
two hours later, after many screams, pain, and sweat — a baby's cries burst into the room, bringing tears of happiness to the eyes of elowyn and eris.
but it was at that moment that the mother made her first turn of events.
"it's a girl, my lady," the head healer that was helping with the labor announced "a very healthy baby girl."
eris froze, not knowing how to react before this new information.
in over a thousand years, the vanserra lineage had never had female descendants.
this couldn't be possible.
"a girl?" elowyn asked, exhaustion in her voice.
"yes, my lady." one of the healers that assisted with the birth and now holding the baby confirmed while walking closer to the bed.
"it looks like you've been blessed, my lady."
eris's grip on his mother's hand loosened, and the male stood up from the side of the bed where he had spent the last five hours crouched.
now raised to his full height, eris saw his baby sister, and his heart stopped.
and that was when the mother made her second turn of events.
the baby didn't look like eris or his mother or anyone in his family.
her hair wasn't red, her eyes weren't russet or brown, and her skin wasn't pale.
she wasn't a daughter of autumn.
meaning she wasn't beron's daughter.
eris took the baby from the healer's arms before speaking to all of them. "leave us."
the head healer asked before making her exit, "should we announce the birth to the high lord, my prince?"
"no," eris was quick to respond.
he looked at the baby in his arms again before meeting the gaze of the female. "i'll tell him myself when he gets back from the meeting. thank you for your help."
"of course, my prince." the healer turned to face elowyn and bowed one more time before leaving the room "my lady."
elowyn gave her a small smile. "thank you, lydia."
now alone in the room, eris finally looked at his mother and took a seat on her left side of the bed, and passed the baby to her arms.
at the sight of her daughter, elowyn cried.
she knew what this meant.
beron was going to kill her and her child.
her love affair had ended after becoming pregnant with lucien, but after seeing helion at the high lords meeting three years ago, all the feelings that she had buried deep down in her heart came to the surface.
and as always, she wasn't able to stay away from the male she's always loved — the love of her life, her mate, and now the father of two of her children.
elowyn ran her fingers over the delicate cheek of her daughter — her only daughter.
and with tears running down her face, she looked at her firstborn and said to him in a low voice "he's going to kill us, isn't he?"
it was eris's turn to have tears in his eyes, but he didn't let them fall.
placing one of his fingers in front of his little sister, eris saw the baby wrap her small hand around his finger, and he could have sworn his heart skipped a beat at the gesture.
he had a gentle smile on his lips as he looked at the newborn now sleeping in his mother's arms.
her hand still wrapped around her big brother's finger.
"she's Helion's, isn't she?" eris asked without taking his eyes from the baby.
elowyn's mouth opened in surprise.
she never mentioned helion to anyone, not even to lydia who wasn't just the court's head healer but also her dearest friend.
"wha-"
"it's okay, mom. i have known for a while." eris gave her a small smile, eyes still directed to his sister.
"since when?"
"since lucien," eris finally looked at his mother.
eris gave a long sigh before revealing his opinion to his mother "if you would like to know, i wish you had married him and not Beron, even if that meant i would never been born."
eris grabbed her hand and give it a tight squeeze before continuing "you deserve to be happy and well treated, mom, and i know that helion does that and so much more. i've never seen you as happy as on the days you returned from your encounters with him."
elowyn gave him a genuine smile before murmuring a small "thank you," she had no idea her son was aware of this.
eris chuckled, now putting the two pieces together, "this is why the sun is acting like crazy today, isn't it? because she's a child of day.
the same had happened with Lucien but it wasn't as strong as today and lucien was born in the summer which didn't raise any suspicions.
his mother nodded her head in affirmation before returning her eyes to her daughter, smiling, "she looks just like him."
and it was true.
everything about you screamed helion — your eyes, your hair, your skin, and even your nose.
there was no doubt in it.
concerned invaded her face, and elowyn found herself holding the baby tighter to her chest.
she looked at her son again, "what are we going to do?"
eris met her gaze before looking at the peaceful baby again, and his head started to work to come up with a plan.
even if you weren't beron's you were still his sister — his baby sister — and he wasn't going to let that horrible male harm you.
after a few minutes and after thinking about all the possible ways, eris understood there was only one option — one that he hated.
but that didn't matter.
what mattered was to keep you safe and alive even if it meant to send you away.
the tears returned to his eyes.
he had to swallow the lump in his throat because he knew he was about to break his mother's heart.
after breathing for a few seconds to calm his heart, he gathered enough courage to tell her, "i have a plan."
and just like that, the mother made her third and final turn of events.
—
the High Lord of Day couldn't believe what was in front of him.
eris vanserra with a newborn in his arms?
things had just gotten far more interesting or dangerous.
the heir of autumn was walking in his direction and looking at his surroundings while doing it.
when he finally stood in front of the high lord, eris asked him, "are you alone?"
with an annoyed look, helion raised his arm to gesture around them, "do you see anyone else here, prince?"
"as far as i'm concerned, you could have soldiers hiding behind the trees ready to attack me at your signal, high lord." eris gave a sarcastic smile.
helion reciprocated his smile while adding, "i could say the same about you."
eris shrugged his shoulders and concluded, "i suppose that's true."
helion winked at him before his eyes moved to the baby in his arms.
trying to act as normal as possible and not let his curiosity take the better of him, helion asked "who's this little one? and why would you bring a baby here?"
helion didn't have a good view of you, only of the top of your head since the rest was hidden by the blanket.
at the question, eris held you tighter in his arms, he looked to the high lord, who was still busy staring at you, probably trying to get a better look.
he wanted to see his reaction when he revealed the truth to him.
"this is my sister. she was born a few hours ago." the Heir said and moved the blanket so helion could finally see you.
when eris removed the blanket and helion finally had a good view of you, confusion settled on his features.
the spell cleaver's features scoffed before telling him, "she's your sister?"
eris nodded before helion continued. "i hate to be the one telling you this, eris, but she looks noth-"
you opened your eyes at the sound of his voice, making the high lord of day freeze in his place.
helion stopped.
his heart did, too.
realization entered him as he put the pieces together.
he raised his head to look at the redheaded male who only gave a nod of affirmation as his response.
helion had to blink his eyes several times to make sure that he wasn't dreaming — that this was real.
you looked just like him.
"it's not possible." helion said, more to himself than to the young heir
"it is. she's the living proof of that." eris told him.
helion's eyes widened in disbelief, "the sun?" he murmured.
"yes," eris confirmed as he passed one of his fingers through your cheek.
helion couldn't tear his eyes from.
you were looking at him with your big golden eyes — his eyes.
he felt weak in his knees.
helion always wanted children, he knew that since the moment he met elowyn but the world hadn't been kind to them.
by the Cauldron, he didn't even know elowyn was pregnant.
the last time they had seen each other was a little over ten months ago, but sometimes that happened, it had happened before.
when Beron was around a lot, it was difficult for her to leave without lifting any suspicions, so they would wait until she could.
sometimes it took weeks, other times mouths, but helion was patient, he would rather wait than risk her safety at beron's rage.
but the wait was worthed because when they were together it was like the rest of the world disappeared and it was just the two of them.
it was perfect.
the room was lit by the first rays of the morning sun and a gentle breeze came through the window.
the two lovers were together in bed. after a long night of passion and romance, the two were in each other's arms with nothing but a sheet protecting them from the breeze.
elowyn laughed again at the tickling sensation.
she hit helion's arm that was holding her against his chest "stop", but she couldn't stop laughing.
"why would i do that when i can hear that magnificent sound?" helion joined her laugh.
but helion was right.
elowyn only laughed when she was with him, and that was one of the reasons why she loved him so much.
the lady rested her head on the high lord's chest and released a long sigh before giving voice to her thoughts, "i wish i woke up like this every morning."
she adjusted her head on the male's chest so she could look at him,"with you."
helion lowered his head to meet her beautiful brown eyes, a sad smile taking over him, "me too."
"do you ever think about that? about how our life would be if we were together?" she asked him.
"of course i do," he placed a hand on her hair and began to caress it as he spoke "the first thing i would do, would be to marry you and after making you my wife, i would make you my high lady."
a smile began to form on her lips, "ehat else?"
he reciprocated the smile and continued, "afterwards, we would have our honeymoon at the summer court because i know how much you would like to visit there. and then, i would show you every place of your new Court. the libraries, the pegasus, the entire palace and my favorite places."
he paused for a second, sadness starting to make its way to his features again "i would make you feel like home, and i would make you feel loved, seen and heard every single day. i would give you anything you asked of me, sunshine."
a tear fell from elowyn's eyes, and her lip trembled a little, "that sounds perfect. ot would be a dream come true."
helion wiped her tears and told her "yes, it would be. . ." he gave her a weak smile.
he, too, felt the pain of what they could only imagine."would you like to hear the best part?"
when she nodded her head, he proceeded "after a few years of being married, if we were blessed enough and if you wanted, of course," he paused, "children."
elowyn didn't know what to say.
she had confessed to helion a long time ago how she wished she had run away from her family and married him instead of her current husband.
how she wished she had been strong enough to stand up to her father and how she wished all her sons were his.
because this last confession was what held her back in autumn, she was not capable of abandoning her sons and leaving them at the mercy of beron.
she couldn't wait for the day when eris killed him so she could finally be what she always wanted — lady of the day court but in this case she would be high lady as helion had told her and she didn't doubt for a second of his words.
but unlike helion, the first thing she would do, wouldn't be to marry him but to accept the mating bond.
that beautiful, golden, and magical mating bond.
she tugged on the bond and a second later helion did the same.
finding the words she was looking for she said to him "of course i would have children with you, helion. that's not even a question."
she giggled, "can you imagine? little versions of you and me running around and causing trouble?"
helion couldn't hold back the laughter that escaped at her words "they would be troublemakers, wouldn't they?"
elowyn laughed even more "of course they would be."
her laughter quieted and a hint of love adorned her face "maybe i would finally have my little girl. i always wanted a daughter."
"me too," helion confessed, "i would name her after my mother in honor of her."
"your mother was a remarkable female. it would be an honor to name our little sunshine after her," she said and dropped an arm around his waist.
"it would be my greatest achievement.'' he gave her a kiss on the forehead.
they spent the rest of the morning in bed talking about the future they wanted more than anything and expressed their love one more time until elowyn had to leave.
what they didn't know at the moment was that it was the last time they would see each other for a really long time.
the memory surged through helion's mind like a wave.
he remembers that day so well after all that day was only ten months ago.
what a coincidence that on the last day they were together they talked about their future and their children and now, right in front of him, was their daughter.
their little sunshine.
with a trembling voice, helion spoke after a long time in silence "can i hold her?"
"of course," eris was quick to answer,passing you to your father's arms.
and that's when it happened.
a moment that neither helion nor eris would ever forget.
in the second that you were in helion's arms, both of your skins started glowing as bright as the sun had just a few hours ago.
the day court glow.
"wow," eris whispered, amazed at what was happening.
"indeed, she really is mine," without taking his eyes from you, helion asked "what's her name?"
"y/n," Eris answered still observing the glow.
once again, the high lord froze on his spot.
his heart started beating faster.
seeing the strange reaction from helion, eris spoke "what is it?"
helion looked at the male with a smile "that's my mother's name. i told elowyn once how if i ever had a daughter, i would want to name her after her."
eris smiled at the kindness of his mother but he wasn't surprised, she was always like that.
"elowyn," the high lord of day whispered.
locking his gaze with the red-headed male, concern all written in his features at the well-being of the female he had been in love for centuries.
he was so focused on you that he didn't remember to ask this earlier, "elowyn. how is she? is she alright?"
eris released a long sigh, "physically? she's fine but exhausted from the birth. emotionally? she's a wreck, but i suppose that's normal considering her only daughter has to be sent away."
"what?"
"that's why i sent you that letter, helion. i came to bring her to you." eris said, a firm look on his face.
"she can't stay in autumn. no matter how much i want." he murmured the last part to himself, but if Helion noticed he didn't show.
"no one can know about her, about who her mother really is, we need to keep this from away from beron's ears."
he nodded his head, agreeing with the young heir.
of course, you couldn't stay there. he didn't even want to imagine what beron would do if he found out about you.
at the thought of the horrible male, confusion settled on his face again, "wait, what about beron? certainly, he's going to notice that his supposed child is missing."
"don't worry about beron, i took care of it." eris tried to be as vague as possible.
"how?"
"you don't want to know, besides that's not important right now. she is." he gestured to you, your skin still glowing and now grabbing one of helion's fingers.
eris gave a long breath, and then directed his gaze to you just for a second before raising it again to the high lord "are you going to take her?"
helion scoffed, "what kind of question it's that?"
eris released a long breath of relief, and a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
he didn't doubt that the mal3 would refuse you, but he couldn't but be nervous at the same.
the heir reached for the inside pocket of his coat and removed a letter, and helion took his gaze from you to look at it.
"my mother wrote this for you. she told me to tell you to only read it once you're back home," he handed him the letter.
helion's heart ached at the revelation of elowyn calling his court 'home'.
he accepted the letter and thanked the red-headed male, starting making his way to leave.
but before he could, he stopped at the voice of the heir calling for him.
he turned around to face him.
"i want to be part of her life," eris confessed without hesitation.
"what? we just agreed that no one can know about her, eris, and that includes you. she can't know you're her brother." helion explained.
"i know that," seeing the confused look Helion gave him, it was his turn to explain.
"she doesn't need to know me as her brother. a friend will be enough." he paused for a second, "beron just nominated me as autumn's emissary which means i will be the one going to your court for meetings so i want to take that as an opportunity to get to know her and to see her grow. that's my only condition, i already lost lucien, and i'm not going to lose her either.'
"very well, as long as you share those moments with elowyn. that's my only condition too," helion replied.
"consider it done."
without further words, the two males parted away.
one with a heart full and the other with an empty one.
•••
present
helion's heart was no longer full.
how could it be, when you, the best thing that ever happened to him was missing?
he saw the inner circle's face at the big revelation he had just told them.
rhysand broke the silence "why didn't you tell me? i could've helped you."
helion met his gaze, "i couldn't risk it. y/n is my number one priority, and she'll always be, so i did everything i had to do in order to keep her safe. i have no regrets."
feyre interlaced her fingers with rhysand's, asking the high lord, "does she know?"
"only that she's my daughter. she doesn't know about elowyn or eris and the rest of her brothers."
"she never mentioned anything," mor replied.
"i told her not to. y/n knows that she's my weakness and that if my enemies knew about her connection to me, they would use it as leverage. so i made sure no one outside of day knew it, except eris and elowyn, not even her other brothers knew it." helion explained.
"not even lucien?" feyre asked, feeling sorry for her friend.
"no, not even him."
"so how did Beron find out?" azriel said, interrupting their conversation.
"i don't-" helion started, but before he could continue, the autumn heir arrived.
as soon as Eris' eyes met helion's, he marched towards him.
the heir was angry, and he didn't spare a glance at the inner circle.
"where is she?" eris demanded and his heart dropped when he saw the state of the house.
when eris's eyes settle on everyone, all they saw was desperation and fear in his eyes.
"where is my sister?!"
a/n: thank you for reading!
taglist: @emryb @fantasyandshit @azrielover @shadowsingercassia @brieflyclassymortal @lilah-asteria @lure-of-writing @pruvii @olive-main @mybestfriendmademe
*if you asked to be tagged and you weren't, it's because I couldn't find your blog.
the beautiful dividers belong to @cafekitsune
#acotar#acotar fandom#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#cassian#inner circle#rhysand#feyre cursebreaker#morrigan acotar#amren acotar#high lord helion#helion acotar#helion spell cleaver#eris vanserra#eris acotar#lady of autumn#loa#morrigan#amren#lucien vanserra#acotar fic#acotar fanfiction
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not my professor
summery: Ari falls in love with a girl who studies in the same university has him.
pairing: professor!ari Levinson x reader
warnings: fluff, SMUT, swearing, size kink, begging, age gap (reader is mid 20s and Ari is mid 30s)
A/N: i am slut for Ari Levinson
Ari didn't think that your presence would affect him that much. But he did this on purpose this time. He promised himself he won't but the heart wants what the heart wants.
He first saw you in the main cafeteria. You were getting yourself two large hot chocolates with five packets of sugar each to go. You looked calm but the amount of hot chocolates you were going to consume said otherwise. He found it amusing. He unknowingly followed you but sat close to hear what you were talking to your friends.
“You’re gonna kill yourself with that much amount of sugar and hot chocolate.” Your friend tried to throw away your packets of sugar.
“Then at least I will die happy.” You hide your sugar packets in your jacket.
Ari found it funny. He was worried about you, yes but he found you funny and witty. He didnt see you the rest of the day after you left for your class, only to catch a glance of you leaving the campus.
…………………….
The next time he saw you was when you were in the book nook for your department. His office was moved in that room with two other professors who, he didn't know, were your professors.
He got to know about your focus when you were exiting the office of one of your professors with a friendly smile on your face. He found out you were a masters student and you were there for just one more year.
He was relieved that you were here only for a year but it also came as a jerking shock to him that if he wanted to know you, he didn't have time.
You were not part of his focus. You were nowhere near him but he was still a professor. The only way of knowing you was by a chance encounter or a social event where you would want to attend.
He was struggling. He was never the one to struggle. He always had it easy with women because he was the one being approached and not the other way around.
To him, this was all new because not only did he want to know you but also the important fact that you were unaware of his existence. He wanted you to know about him, think about him and spend time with him.
Seeing you so close to his office created weird feelings in him. He hadn't seen you smile. Now he had. He wanted to reserve that smile. The way your eyes crinkled and grew smaller when you smiled crinkled his own heart. His blue eyes got wide and dark just seeing you smile, imagining what else he was missing out.
You were so close to his office that all he had to do was open the door and he could easily pull you in. He shook his head, trying to remove the arousing thoughts out of his head.
You waved at someone and you immediately left the room, leaving him with those thoughts he had to manage behind the desk, thinking about his boring lecture.
…………………..
“Hi! I am looking for this book but i cannot find it in the shop. Can you check if you have it?” He heard a very familiar voice near him.
He turned around to see you standing in the bookstore, looking for a book. His heart raced. It was like the universe was sending him a chance. He was going to grab this chance by the throat and choke in.
He followed you to the shelf where you were told you would find your book. He wasn't being creepy, at least that’s what he thought. He was going to approach you today.
He saw you peruse books after grabbing the one you needed. He had seen you scrunch your nose in disapproval when you had picked the book reluctantly. It was part of your assignment and not a book you would ever want to read, you knew that book was definitely going to get gifted to someone as a birthday present.
He saw you step into the romance section and he saw your eyes sparkle with joy. He saw you pick so many romance books, only to put them back because you couldn't afford to buy them all. He saw you eye them sadly. He would buy them all for you, he thought.
You were about to leave the store when a surge of courage stepped in him. “Hey.”
You turned around with eyes wide. You thought you had stepped in the person’s way or something. Why else would a man that tall and that attractive talk to you? “Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be in your way.”
“Oh no! You're not in my way. I just- I have seen you around the university and wanted to introduce myself.” He stepped a little closer to you, enough to not invade your personal space. “I'm Ari.”
“Oh, um- i’m-” you were a stuttering mess but you managed to say your name. He found it adorable seeing how pink your cheeks had turned.
“Can I see what book you have?”
“Yeah. If you want it, I can give it to you after next week.” You were too eager to get rid of the book.
“Sure. I can give this back to you after I'm done reading.” Ari wanted a reason to see you again.
“Oh no! I'm asking you to keep it. I, um, I don't like this book. It's not really, uh, my style.”
“Oh! But what if I want to see you again after this? How will I find you then?” Ari was done playing around. He went straight for the kill.
“Oh!” Your shock was very evident to him. “I, uh, you want to see me again?”
“Yeah. You are pretty and I would like to get to know you.” Ari really wanted to approach you slowly but his brain short circuited when he talked to you.
Your wide innocent eyes and your soft voice was killing him. He wanted to tell you how much he liked you but he knew it was too soon.
“You think I'm pretty?” You never thought of yourself as a pretty person. This was the first time someone had called you pretty. Your cheeks tinted with more pink and you look down, unable to look into his captivating blue eyes.
“Real pretty.” Ari walked a little closer to you. You made no effort to create space between the two of you. “But, I have to tell you something, honestly. Will you listen?”
You look back to him and give him a nod, your eyes full of anticipation. “I am actually a professor in your university. I saw you in the main cafeteria but I couldn't just approach you.”
You couldn't tell him that your insides were melting. Not just because he was bigger, taller and prettier than you but also because he was a professor. Not yours though, you knew all of your professors. But he was one and all your bottled up fantasies were slowly opening up.
“A professor?” You tried to act as cool as you could.
“Not your department though.” Ari got defensive. He didn't want to think that there was no chance. He was worried there would be an immediate rejection without a consideration.
You just looked at him with wide eyes. You were trying to process a lot of things at once. One of which was climbing him like a tree.
“This is coming off as creepy. I'm sorry. I'll just go.” Ari was ready to leave. Your silence was enough to tell him he was rejected. He didn't want to push it.
“No! Wait! I'm sorry. I just- you're gorgeous. It's hard to think someone like you would be interested in me.” You held his wrist and you were trying to scramble together your thoughts. “It's- I don't mind that you are a professor. I'm just, um, not good at social interactions. Also, I have never had someone ask me out before, openly, so, uh, i'm sorry you felt rejected.”
His wrist was burning with your touch. It was as if he was getting electrocuted. He walked closer to you and he saw your eyes darken and dilate for a few seconds before they turned back to their innocent selves.
“So you are not rejecting my advances?” Ari wanted a verbal confirmation from you. When you nod, he lifts your chin up. “I want your words. Give me your consent, please.” Ari practically begged for you.
“I am not rejecting your advances.” Your soft tone caught him and he was elated. If he was in the privacy of his office or his home, he surely would have yelped in cheer.
He hummed in happiness and brought out his hand for you to hold. You looked at his hand quizzingly and took your hand to hold. You were a blushing mess. His hand was so much bigger than yours. Your mind was going on overdrive. He chuckled when he saw you trying to hide your red face. He was going to love making you blush everyday now.
…………………….
He wanted exclusivity. He was too afraid to ask. What if it is too soon? You have been dating for over two months. You went to his office once, because you were worried your professors would see you and ask questions and you had no answers.
This was your second time visiting his office. He had told you that you were allowed at any time to find peace. You liked that. You liked to read in silence and his office really was perfect. You were working on your creative writing pieces and so you thought his office would be the perfect destination for that.
You grabbed your hot chocolate from the cafeteria and took the elevator to his floor. You opened his office doors and there he was, staring at his computer with glasses on and his hair flowing. If your pussy was a faucet, it would be leaking.
“Hi.” You set your things down on the coffee table across his desk.
He looked up and a very loving smile spread across his face. He looked stressed, he was stressed, but seeing you made everything so much better. He opened his arms, inviting you.
You walked up to him and stood between his manspread. Your knees touched the edge of the chair and his arms wrapped around your waist. You automatically cup his cheeks and your thumbs started smoothening the mild dark circles under his eyes. He closed his eyes to savour that moment with you. You have a small smile on your face and so does he.
“Can I, uh, ask you something?” Your soft voice opened his eyes. There was a hesitation in your eyes and voice. Your hands had left his face and were fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt. He sat straight in the chair but he still held onto you.
“What is it, baby? Talk to me.”
“Not to pressure you. I was just, I know it's too soon, but, um…” Ari held your hands and caressed your knuckles. You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes with what looked like determination. “Can we, uhm, be, um, together?”
“But we are together, baby.”
“No. Not like that. I mean, um… uh, never mind. It's fine.” You tried to walk away but he tugged on your hand and settled you on his lap. You yelped in surprise and tried to wriggle out but he tightened his hold on your waist. You huffed out.
“Baby, don't shy away. I think I know what you want to say. I was thinking the same thing.” He played with your fingers on your lap and kissed your cheek.
“How do you know what I was thinking? You're not a mind reader.”
“I don't have to be a mind reader to know that you want me to be your boyfriend. Exclusively.” Ari brushed your hair back.
You gasped and then scrunched up your nose in disgust and then chuckled. “Eww. it feels weird to call you boyfriend. You're a man not a boy.”
“That’s the issue? That I'm a man?” Ari lifted up his eyebrows. He was in a teasing mode now.
You hit him lightly on the chest, earning a light chuckle from him. “You know that is not what I meant. But, to answer your question, yes, I would love to be your girlfriend. Exclusively.”
“Oh so that's how this is going to be. You're in charge.” Ari pulled you even closer by your waist and cupped your neck.
His lips were hovering over yours, looking for permission. Your smile faded as your eyes darkened. You liked this. Being in charge but also letting him take charge. You seal the deal with a kiss. You cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer as your lips worked well with his.
His hand from your waist slipped into your shirt to hold your back. You hum into the kiss and he angled his head for a better angle. This is why he loved having you in his office. He can kiss you any time.
You pulled away slowly, resting your forehead against his and breathing heavily. Ari had that tendency on you. He always took your breath away. You were so close to saying ‘i love you’ to him but held back. It was too soon.
You pecked his lips again and got up to work on your writing. He looked at you for some time and then went back to grading.
…………………….
Six months of your relationship with Ari had flown by. All in all, eight months since you first met Ari. He was a very understanding man. You were very stressed with your semester and had no time except several makeout sessions in his office.
You had fallen in love with him. He was caring, kind, understanding and above all, he held almost all of your fantasies. You had not revealed it to him obviously. Who in their right mind would tell their boyfriend that she would like him to go feral on her or that she would like it if he ate her out for hours.
Ari had noticed some things though. He had seen how when he did certain things, your eyes darkened with lust. He was impressed by the amount of control you had. He hadn't touched you intimately. He had wanted to, so bad, but he wanted you to initiate.
The fall semester was over and the winter break was here. You weren't going home because of your internship. You had told Ari about it. When he got to know you got the internship of your dreams, he had bought your favourite cake and cooked your favourite cuisine at his apartment.
You had brought a wine bottle to match the cuisine and you had stayed over at his place for the weekend. You were a bit disappointed that he didn't do anything except cuddle and kiss but you were also glad he was letting you take the lead.
All of your roommates had left for the winter and you were alone. It was a big ass apartment and staying alone got a bit creepy. You mustered courage to ask Ari if you could stay with him that winter. He had said yes.
Ari had hid his enthusiasm really well when you initiated something. He picked you up from your place and went back to his place with a stop at the local Target to grab more snacks and food you liked. Not that he didn't already have his place stocked with your things. You liked wine so he insisted on buying at least 3 bottles which sounded ridiculous to you but he had bought them behind your back.
You had shared his room and his bed before so it wasn't a problem. He had actually bought a new dresser for your clothes saying he was going to buy one anyway your reason was just an added bonus.
He also bought a big standing mirror and a vanity table for you which made you blush even more. You hardly used makeup because of your anti-social nature but he still considered the possibility and that won over your heart even more. His consideration was making you hornier or you were just done with your periods. Who's to say which is which.
Ari helped you unpack your things. You had grown more comfortable around him but you still blushed heavily from time to time and he loved that he still affected you.
Ari saw you buzz around the apartment and put your things beside his, making it feel more at home. After unpacking your things, the place felt more lived in and he loved that. Maybe he should ask you to move in? But he should say he loves you first. Or should the both of you just get naked and have each other all over the apartment? Ari was thinking too much.
You both were tired so after dinner it was straight to bed. It felt very domestic. You loved it. You snuggled into Ari’s chest and he pulled you closer than ever. Both of you sighed in relief in a sync and sleep enveloped, leaving all those extra thoughts for the next whole month.
You had woken up all warm, toasty and horny, thanks to your large boyfriend. He had no right to look that hot and bear-like in the morning. You wiggled your way out of the bed and cleaned yourself up. You wanted to make breakfast for him. The first ever.
Ari wanted to see your face the first thing he woke up but instead he saw an empty bed. He sprung up thinking that yesterday was a dream till he heard light singing in the kitchen. He cleaned himself up and followed the voice to the kitchen.
The sight he saw made his heart skip several beats. You were singing along one of your playlists and dancing a little while flipping pancakes. He felt like this is the moment he would want to live again and again for the rest of his life. Your soft voice singing stirred places in him that shouldn’t stir.
“Morning, baby. What are you making?” Ari announced his arrival before he wrapped his arms around your waist.
You squeak in surprise but regain composure. “Morning, babe. I'm making pancakes. A lot of ‘em. I thought we could have brunch instead of breakfast.”
“Sounds fun.” He trailed kisses all over your neck. Soft moans escape your lips and you lean further into him.
“Ari…”
“I love you, baby,” Ari whispered in your ears.
“I love you too, babe.” You were a blushing mess but you finally said it. It felt like a boulder was lifted off your heart. “I've been meaning to say that for so long. But I thought it was too soon so I held myself back.”
“Nothing you do too soon, baby. I too wanted to say it long ago but I thought you wouldn't like it.” Ari moves away from you and you turn to him.
“We've got to stop thinking that it's too soon. Nothing is when it comes to us, right?” You cup his face and peck his lips. You turn back to finish the last of the pancakes.
“You are always right, baby. Now let's eat. You sit and I'll grab the juice and syrup.”
The brunch went by peacefully and now you had enough courage to ask him to get you off. Honestly, you found it embarrassing in yourself that you had to masturbate when you had such a hot boyfriend at your disposal. His thick fingers had to be put to better use than making a class schedule.
He was working on the sofa and you approached him with hands on your back. You were so nervous, you didn't want him to know that you were fiddling with your fingers.
“Do you want something, baby?” Ari does not look up from his laptop but he can sense you have a question.
“Canyoueatmeoutandhelpmegetoff?”
“What?” Ari swore he heard something really provocative come out of your mouth but he wanted to confirm. He always paid attention to what you said but with the speed you used, he wanted you to verbalize it again.
You took a deep breath and tried to look him in the eye but couldn't. “Can you eat me out and help me get off?” You practically whispered.
But Ari heard you, loud and clear. He threw his laptop on the sofa. He walked to you and hoisted you on his shoulder like a sack and gently laid you on the bed.
“I want you to tell me if you feel uncomfortable. I will stop. No hard feelings, okay?” Ari was hovering above you. It was turning you on seeing how large he looked.
You nodded but he tsked. “I need words, baby. I am not doing anything until you verbalize yourself. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He cupped your cheek and pulled you in for a hot searing kiss. Your hands wrap around his neck and hair while he starts wandering his hands all over you. You squirmed when you felt his hands on your exposed waist. You hadn't realized he had lifted your t-shirt to expose your stomach.
“Baby?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want clothes on or off?”
“Um, off?”
“Are you confused, baby? If you're not ready, I will get you off with clothes on, it's fine and if you want to get off alone, I will go to the living room.”
“I want you. I really do. You make me so horny. Your thick fingers, larger than life body and your kissable lips makes me want to do so much but then i become so conscious about how i look and you wont like it. But I desperately want your fingers inside me, your lips on me and your body crushing the life out of me. Please.”
“My god, baby! Why didn't you say you were in so much need? You are beautiful with clothes and you will be even more beautiful without them. I don't love you just for your body but also because of that smart brain of yours.”
Ari removed his shirt and his pants, standing before you in just his boxers. “Now, let me help you out of your clothes so I can fulfill that fantasy of yours.”
He hooked his fingers in the waistband of your shorts and dragged them down along with your drenched panty. He held back the need to dive between your legs since he wanted to take it slow for you. He tried not to touch you till he had your t-shirt and bra off.
He let himself tower over you and let you take him in. a whimpered moan escaped your lips seeing him so big all ready to please you. “I'm going to touch you everywhere, baby. Yes?”
A breathy yes fell out of your mouth and his hands cupped your breasts. “Kiss me again, Ari, baby, please.”
He let himself fall on you, trying not to crush you entirely and pulled you in for another searing kiss. This time he had no clothing getting in the way so he started kneading your breasts and pinched your nipples. You moaned in his mouth and bucked your hips up to try and grind against him.
Ari trailed his lips and kisses along your neck and collarbone. You held the back of his head and guided him where you wanted his lips and he let you. Today was about pleasing you and he was going to let you take the lead. He did not leave any part of without a kiss but he also tried to hold back marking you.
“Will you mark me, Ari? Please? Mark me as yours.” You whined so well for him. Your demand spurred Ari to a frenzy. He latched his lips to your neck and sucked and bit till he was certain he left a significant number of marks.
He trailed down to your breasts that were kneaded well. He also marked your breasts as his and sucked your nipples so well. You were a whimpering and moaning mess. While your one hand was buried deep in Ari’s hair, the other was clutching the bedsheet.
You were dribbling out of your pussy and Ari was taking notice of it. “Baby, I'm moving down. I can't let you go to waste, now can i?”
You couldn't form words and whimpered yes barely fell out of you. Ari hummed on your lips, giving you one last kiss before moving down, between your legs. He even left marks on your inner thighs.
He had seen you dribble all over the bedsheet and he was pleased that he was the one making your pussy crave. After leaving one last kiss on your thigh and he dove right in to devour you.
You moan Ari’s name out loud and clutch the bedsheet tightly, arching yourself off the bed. Ari pushed your legs around his shoulder to get into a better position and laid down on his stomach. He wrapped his arms around your legs to keep you from squirming away.
He was loving this. He had been craving this. He had been dreaming about this since he met you. Seeing you writhing under him while he devours you was his very first fantasy.
He was taking his sweet time. He licked, sucked and kissed your pussy very slowly, savouring every moment. You whined and whimpered, making him smirk. He let his tongue play with your clit every now and then, increasing your simulation.
“Please.” The words barely came out of your mouth. The knot in your stomach tightened and you gripped his hair. You adjusted his head to focus on your clit and he readily agreed.
“Gonna cum, baby?” Ari kept on fucking you over his mouth.
“Yes, please Ari. I'm gonna cum. Please.”
He increased his speed and the knot broke, making you convulse and arch on the bed with Ari lapping up all the juice you released. He drank up every last drop you had to offer. When your body rested back on the bed, you realized you had been crushing Ari in between your thighs.
“Oh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.” You tried to sit up and move but your weakened body and Ari’s hold on you made you lay back in the position.
“That was fucking sexy, baby. You can crush me between your thighs any time.” Ari sat up on his haunches and grabbed the bottle of water from the bedside and gave it to you.
“Now, are you still willing to have my fingers inside you after this or do you want to do it tomorrow?” Ari didn't want to overwhelm you.
“Maybe you can use your fingers some other time but I want something else right now.” You had received a boost of confidence after the mind-blowing session.
“Tell me what you want, baby.” Ari brought his hands to your cheeks and caressed them lightly. He loved how fucked out you looked, all thanks to him.
“I want you in me.” You sat up and grabbed the waistband of Ari’s boxers, trying to pull them down.
“Are you sure? This is a bigger deal than my fingers.” Ari wanted you to make a confident decision.
“Oh I'm counting on it to be bigger.” You pulled his boxers down and gasped. He really was bigger. You gulped and looked at him and a small smirk came on his face.
Ari let you get rid of his boxers and he was back sitting in between your legs. “I will ask again, baby, are you sure?”
“Yes Ari, I am sure. I have been wanting you for a while and if I don't do it now, I am pretty sure I will take a few more months and I don't want that. I want you. Now.”
Ari leaned over his bedside table to grab condoms but you held his hand and shook your head. “No. I want to feel you, Ari. take me raw. Please.” You gave him your best pout to which he sighed and retracted.
“As you wish.”
Ari sat back and brought your pussy closer to his cock. Your pussy juice was giving him enough lubrication. He rubbed his cock on your folds a few times. You whine and pout at him. You were being impatient and Ari loved seeing you beg for him.
Ari very slowly slid his tip into you. You gasped. He slid further in and he saw you arching your back, matching his speed as a loud moan escaped your mouth. He jerked you on him a little and your ass met his thighs, hilting the cock deep into you. He waited for you to get adjusted to him.
Ari looked at you to get some sort of response. Your eyes were closed as you relished in being filled by Ari. “You can move now, Ari. I'm okay.”
He moved again and he still maintained the slow pace that he had set. You moaned and whimpered but you needed something more. You were not able to think what but that only made you whine louder.
“What do you want, baby? Why are you being whiny?” Ari maintained the slow pace, he slowed it down even more and you whined again.
Ari caught on to what you wanted but he wanted to experiment. He moved out of you, leaving just his bulbous tip in you and slammed into you with speed. You moaned his name loudly and arched your back and went crashing back down.
He sped up into you and you groaned feeling satisfied with the manner. But in the middle of a fast thrust, Ari slowed down again. Your eyes met his and you saw a glint of playfulness in them. You tried to wriggle out of his hold.
You made a plan that if he wanted to play then he would learn a lesson to not mess when you were horny for him.
Ari caught onto you again and tightened his hold around your thighs. During this time, your legs were wrapped around his waist which was advantageous to him now. You whined again and he stopped completely.
“Your whines are not going to get you fucked, baby. Use your words.”
“Please Ari.” You were slightly overstimulated which made tears fall, covering your face.
“Please what, baby.”
“Fuck me harder please, Ari. don't go slow. I'm very needy for you.”
“Now that wasn't hard to say, was it, baby?”
You started fucking into faster and harder. He leaned over and crushed you under him while he kept on digging himself into you.
“Oh f-f-fuck! Ari! You fill me up! This is so good! Fill me up s’good, Ari! Fuck!”
His lips on yours and he kept the pace, drowning your moans into his mouth. The kiss was sloppy and none of you cared. Your breasts were entirely pressed against his chest and the rubbing of your sensitive nipples against his chest spurred you on even more.
Ari’s cock was being tightly clenched by your walls and he let out a loud moaning groan. “Fuck, baby. You're milking me so well.” He thrusted even deeper. “Make me cum, baby. Milk my cock.”
The knot in your stomach got tighter. “Cum in me, Ari. please.”
“Fuck.” Ari sped up his thrusts and brought his hand to rub your clit. His thrusts got sloppier to tell you that he’s almost there and your walls got tighter around him that told him you were close too.
“Cum, baby. Cum for me.” You spasmed on the bed as you found your release and ropes of his cum filled your tight pussy up.
He felt boneless and he just fell on you, crushing you under him. His cock was stirring in you, releasing the last of his cum. Your hands went to his hair and his back, caressing him and soothing him from the high. He hissed in a slight pain but then remembered why. You had, without realizing, scratched up his back with your nails, not that he minded. He loved this wild side of yours.
You might not tell him, but he knew his strength and so he slipped out of you, making you whimper and rolled to the side. His cum dripped out of your pussy and that sight alone could’ve made him hard if he had not seen your fucked out and tired face. Your eyes were completely glazed over and your limp hand was reaching for him.
“Baby, let's get you cleaned up. Then I can cuddle up to you.” Ari got up from the bed and turned on the shower and brought it to a warmer temperature that would help you soothe.
He carried you to the shower and held you, bathed you. You did the same to him, at least trying. He cleaned himself off and you. He dried you with your towel and he dried himself off with his and sat you down on a comfy armchair in the room while he changed the sheets. You tried to help him but he shushed you and forced you to sit down.
He brought you to bed and cuddled you after making you drink ample water. You weren't going to sleep, he knew that, no matter how tired you were. Why? Because you were sometimes neurotic and it was not time to sleep.
“I'll fall asleep at this rate. Let's order dinner and then cuddle.” You sat up and turned to him. None of you had bothered to get dressed and your marked up body was fully visible to him. He was pleased with himself.
“Okay. let's get dressed and ill order us some pizza?” You nodded and you both got up.
He saw your naked self walk closer to the mirror and look at all the love bites he had left on you. The bright smile on your face, seeing you marked by Ari made him melt. He had never thought he would see a girl so pleased with his work.
After dinner, you both cuddled up in bed. He was playing with your fingers and you slowly hummed yourself to sleep. He looked at you and kissed your forehead, letting sleep catch up to him too.
…………………….
Time flew faster and you had moved in with Ari. you were working in the publishing house you’ve been wanting to and Ari had become a tenured professor at your alma mater.
It had been a year and a half since you graduated and moved in with Ari. your parents had met him and they liked him, even with the age difference between the two of you.
You wanted to get married to Ari. You had admitted that to yourself a month ago.
Ari wanted to get married to you. He finally had the courage to ask that to you after almost four years of togetherness. You will say three but he begs to differ but at the end of it all he always says that you are right.
You were out shopping for new books again with him. You were looking through the books when a gorgeous cover attracted you. You pulled it out and looked at it. It was a hardcover and it had beautiful art design on it of a couple in their coziest outfits. The title of the book said ‘Will You Marry Me?’
The couple on the book cover looked eerily similar but you paid no attention. You opened the book to see two rings laying in it. You gasped. You were about to put the book away when you felt a familiar pair of arms around your waist.
“The question is for you, baby.”
“Do I get to keep the book? Or is it the case? Whatever it is, do I get to keep it?”
“That's more important than the actual question?”
“Obviously! It's gorgeous. I'm not going to throw it away.”
“Yes, of course you get to keep it. It's yours. Now, answer the question, baby.”
“I thought the answer was obvious.”
“How?”
“I asked to keep the book.”
Ari turned you around and kissed you deeply and passionately in the bookstore, with no care of who was watching. He gave you a huge smile and slipped the ring on your finger and you did the same.
“Thank you for getting a ring for yourself too.”
“Of course, I knew you would have dragged me to the jeweler to get a matching one for me.”
“I want the world to know that Professor Ari Levinson is no longer up for grabs.”
“Point taken, Mrs. Levinson.”
#fanfiction#fluff#smut#ari levison x reader#ari levinson smut#ari levinson#ari levinson x reader#ari levinson fanfiction#ari levinson x you#ari levinson x female reader#professor!au#fanfic#professor!ari levinson
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Contagiously Human.
[Brian Moser x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: Killing was always the easiest part for him, but this… you… well, as fate would have it, that created a new problem for him. {GIF Creds: brothermoser}
WC: 1881
Category: Plot-Driven, Maybe Some Fluff/Angst…?
Someone asked me if I’d ever thought about writing Biney… and well, I decided to put my thought into actual words 🤷♀️
Just for some minor clarification, this is pretty much a “what if” fic in which Dexter does not end his life. This being said, I picture this taking place around season 5-6 ish.
『••✎••』
Hesitation.
The thing that makes or breaks a killer. The line that separates predator from prey. It's the pause between life and death, the time a man takes to make the decision, and whether he'll live to regret it or not.
He’s never had hesitation. Not once. In fact, he relishes in it; he finds peace in knowing that he can decide one way or another and be content with either outcome. It makes him a dangerous man, unpredictable, a ticking time bomb.
His baby brother, his blood, had the disease. The disease of being too much of a good person, feeling guilt, having morals, a sense of what's right and wrong. He was weak, he hesitated, and he wasn’t even aware of how much the disease was eating him alive until that Trinity Killer came around.
He was supposed to protect his brother, save him from himself, and show him the proper way of things. The way of survival. Of the hunt. But no, Brian wasn’t there to catch him. To stop him.
So, as all good brothers do, he’s here to fix him. To set him straight and rid him of the disease. Forever.
It's an easy task, really. His little brother is so trusting and caring that he'd do anything for the ones he loved. Why not start by showing him why he shouldn't?
Because clearly, the loss of his apparent wife wasn’t enough. He needed to understand, truly and absolutely, that the world would only disappoint him. It's a harsh lesson but a necessary one.
So, that led him to you. His brother’s friend from school. The woman, aside from Dexter’s poor excuse for a sister, that his brother actually cared about.
Just like him, you were naive. Trusting, too. Friendly to everyone, completely unaware of the monsters that hid in the shadows. His brother included.
You might’ve never killed someone, but with everything else, it was clear why his brother was so interested in you. He always loved the innocent ones.
So, the question was, how would he go about it? He could take you somewhere, but the element of surprise was an important factor. You had to believe you were safe and comfortable before he could make his move.
A Debra repeat? Or a more... Unique approach. He'd think about it, plan it out, and strike at the perfect moment.
He wouldn’t hesitate, after all.
When the day presented itself, the stars had aligned, and everything was just right; he made his move. It was noon, a warm Sunday.
You were in your little bookshop, reading one of the books in your free time. Business had been slow today, as most people were enjoying the weather.
You never saw him coming. He was the type to blend into the crowd, the type that you'd see once and forget about. The type you'd pass on the street without a second thought.
He had his ways, of course, and his way was simple. A simple, kind greeting. One that had your eyes lighting up as if you'd never seen another person before.
He was charming, handsome, the perfect man to lure you in. You didn’t stand a chance.
That's what led him here, picking up your fallen book and handing it to you, watching the smile that graced your lips.
A romance novel, of course. How ironic.
"Oh, uh, thank you. That’s very kind."
You smiled, a hint of blush dusting your cheeks. Far more tame than that Debra woman, thankfully. He didn’t have to fight back the urge to roll his eyes.
"Tea and romance? Can’t say I blame you." He pulled a gentle grin, one that had you blushing further, more so of embarrassment this time.
"It's the first of a series. A favorite, actually, I’ve been rereading it." You explained, holding the book to your chest. He didn’t miss the way your thumb rubbed over the spine, fond and gentle.
Just from that, he knew. He was going to have fun with you. “Believe it or not, I read the first one too. A few months ago, actually. It was quite the page-turner. The ending had me on the edge of my seat, I swear."
You laughed, soft and airy, and for a moment, he found himself smiling genuinely. His lie was working, and he couldn’t believe it was that easy.
"I've only heard mixed reviews on it.” You spoke, moving to place the book back on the shelf. "I'm glad to hear you liked it. Marienne’s death was hard, wasn't it?"
"Very." He agreed though it was a lie. He had to pretend he cared. "It was a shame; I really enjoyed the character."
"You did?" You raised a brow, surprised. “Most people didn’t. Given that she doesn’t even exist.”
Shit.
He cleared his throat, a slight pause. He was so blinded by the idea of finally getting to his brother that he'd forgotten.
You were a reader, an author; of course, you would know the ins and outs of the story. The characters, the plot, and every little detail. Why would you not?
First rule of hunting. Don’t get cocky.
"Alright, I admit. I've been caught." He gave a small shrug, his voice holding a hint of sheepishness. Maybe you’d fall for it. “I couldn’t help myself; I figured you wouldn’t appreciate my love for fantasy books."
"Fantasy?" You tilted your head, and he knew. You bought it. You were a sucker for fantasy; you didn't like it when others looked down on them.
"I'm a bit of a nerd. Guilty pleasure."
"I didn’t peg you for the fantasy type…” You raised your eyebrow, though a smile still rested on your lips—a look of amusement.
"Really? Most people can't seem to look past the collared shirt.
"No, it's not that. It's your aura." You shook your head, and now, it was his turn to raise his brow. What the hell did that mean?
"My aura?"
"Those books in your hands..” You nodded towards his bag, a small smirk pulling at the corner of your lips. "You're definitely not a casual reader. My guess is everything in there is a throwaway.”
"And that means...?"
"You're bullshit through and through. You don't like romance or fantasy. In fact, I think you absolutely hate it."
Oh. Oh, you clever thing. Now, he truly understood why his brother connected with you so much. You'd figured him out, and yet, you had no clue. You were clever, smarter than you let on.
"Alright,” He held his hands up in mock surrender. He was enjoying this; for once, someone could see through his façade. See his true self. It was a rush.
“If you’re so smart, what do I like then?"
"Hmm, let's see...” And just like that, you were off with him in tow. You were taking him along on a trip through the shelves, looking through the genres, searching and searching.
He was intrigued, his eyes locked on you, his ears drinking in the sound of your hums and contemplation. Your mind was running, spinning, thinking. You were truly in your element.
"Well, let's start with what I know. You like horror." You said, turning towards the horror section and picking up a book. "You seem like the type who enjoys the dark side of humanity and likes to see the bad guy win."
Damn.
He was almost impressed. Almost.
"How could you possibly know that?"
"Eyes. They tell the most about a person. You’ve seen a lot, and it shows. I could tell just by looking at you. Your eyes are... Cold. Empty." You said, and it was then that he realized you were more observant than you appeared. Naivety might’ve not been a part of your personality, but trust was. You trusted a lot. Too much. “Are you a cop, by chance? You've got the whole detective thing going on."
"Prosthetist, actually." He answered, his hand reaching out and picking up a book at random. He wasn't a fan of fiction, not really. He preferred nonfiction; it was more realistic—less pointless details.
"Oh, wow, I was completely off. I didn’t expect that." You mused, looking up at him with those eyes. You had such an expressive face; it was amazing how easy you were to read. He could practically see the gears turning. How could he use this?
"Expected an axe murderer, did you?" He joked, a smile tugging at his lips.
"Maybe. Wouldn’t that be a twist?" You grinned a glint of amusement in your eye. “Speaking of, that’s probably what you like. Thrillers. Those kinds of stories are full of twists and turns. No one is who they appear to be. Kinda like you, hm?"
"Ouch."
"Sorry, am I being too honest?"
"No, I like it. Keep going." He was having fun. With Debra, it was exhausting. She was so stubborn, so headstrong, she never listened. It took him about three coffees just to have enough patience to deal with her sob story.
But with you, you were a breath of fresh air. He didn’t have to force himself awake or hide his boredom. He could just enjoy it, relish in the moment, and the fact that you were so easy to play with.
You pulled out three books: two thrillers and one horror. A classic and a new one. "These are what I recommend. Start with Primal Fear; that’s the one I believe you'll like the most. The first one might take you a while, but if you stick with it, the sequel will be worth it.
He reached forward, his hand brushing over yours, his touch lingering as he took the book. He purposely brushed his thumb against the back of your hand, just enough for a spark to go through your veins.
He saw the way your breath hitched, and he smirked. This was too easy.
"Thank you, you've been a great help."
"One more thing before you go." You spoke, stopping him. His eyes moved up from the book to your own, and there he saw something that made him falter.
Something that made him freeze longer than he should have.
You had a fire behind those eyes. A flame that burned with a passion, a curiosity that threatened to eat him alive. A want, a need, to get into his head. To peel him open and look inside.
Your eyes weren't cold or empty like his. They were alive. Full of life.
"Books don’t impress women,” Your voice was low, a secret, something meant only for him to hear. “It’s the passion that opens their hearts. You have nothing if you can't show it."
"I think I've misjudged you." He spoke, his hand resting on the shelf above your head. He had no choice but to lean closer, and he felt the way your breath fanned across his skin.
"Oh?"
"Yes. You're a lot more than you appear, aren’t you?"
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
The question was left unanswered. He didn't give a response because, in truth, he didn't know.
He left that day not with his brother’s cure or even the thought of him. He left with three books.
Three books and the disease he believed to be immune to…
Hesitation.
[@numetalnerd2007] Since you asked, I figured this would automatically mean you were interested. At least I hope you were 💀
That being said, please be nice to me for this one since it’s my first time writing for Biney here (and I haven’t rewatched season 1 in forever), so his character probably isn’t 100% solid. It’s a work in progress 🙏✨
Also, for all my Joe Goldberg fans out there, did you catch the reference I made? I see a slight resemblance between Brian and Joe, so I wanted to sneak it in a little something. I think it’s the hair, honestly.
#brian moser#brian moser x reader#brian moser x female!reader#dexter morgan x reader#dexter x reader#also why did I just find out this man was in twilight#brian moser/reader#rudy cooper x reader#christian camargo#brian moser imagine#rudy cooper#ice truck killer#rudy cooper/reader#rudy cooper imagine#dexter fanfiction#dexter fandom#x reader#fanfic#reader#christian camargo x reader#slasher fandom#dexter s1#fanfiction#slasher fic#dexter morgan/reader#dexter morgan imagine#dexter imagine#dexter tv series#dexter#ice truck killer x reader
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BillFord Is About AroAce Trauma And Recovery
Actually, I’m not done.
Someone commented on my last post about this topic that Ford being aroace made BillFord better. And you know what? They’re right! So let’s explore this more.
First, some clarification:
This ship is often described as “toxic yaoi.” I know that toxic yaoi is a fandom term that can be used to describe many sorts of dark and unhealthy relationships and isn’t meant to be taken at face value.
That being said, I feel like its use in the case of this ship has often served to minimize what BillFord actually is within the canon. Whether you see their relationship as platonic, sexual, or romantic, BillFord isn’t toxic; it is canonically ABUSIVE.
There is a very clear power dynamic which defines their relationship where Bill has power over Ford and uses it to manipulate as well as mentally, emotionally, and physically abuse him throughout their entire relationship.
I can further expand on this if need be, but as it is not the focal point of this post, I instead just wanted to give it a bit of focus here in order to clarify that I will be keeping this in mind throughout my analysis of their relationship. If that makes you uncomfortable or just isn’t up your alley, leave now. I won’t judge.
Second, I will not be spending any time defending why I think Ford is aroace. Plenty of people have made these points before and at this point it would just be rehashing an old argument. Please watch the aromantic section of this video and/or read this post for a quick summary if you need it. I also present you with this image which speaks for itself:
Alright, now let's discuss the aroace-ness of it all.
Ford and Amatonormativity
One of the biggest arguments against Ford being aroace is that there is some evidence that he has shown interest in other people before:
Translation of code: “The portal when completed will open a gateway to infinite new worlds and herald a new era in mankinds understanding of the universe. Plus it will probably get girls to start talking to me finally.”
What these arguments often fail to take into account is the concept of amatonormativity. As I mentioned in my previous post, when you are raised to believe that wanting a romantic and/or sexual relationship is the norm, you can often convince yourself its what you should want even if you don’t.
In other words, Ford, who already struggled with being seen as different, likely saw attracting sexual and romantic attention as a sign of his being accepted by others. You’ll notice in the two journal entries above that while he mentions wanting women to be attracted to him, he never really seems to mention having attraction to women himself.
What is important about this is that it means that, from an aroace perspective, Ford can be read as conflating romantic attraction with acceptance from others. Which brings me to my next point:
Bill Cipher, Romance, and Manipulation
Let’s get this off the table: Bill is a Manipulator.
Every action he takes is made to portray himself in a positive light and convince others to help him get what he wants. This is a core part of his character.
So how does this play into his relationship with Ford? First, let's talk about how Bill views romance.
In The Book Of Bill, Bill often directly frames romance as a tool for manipulation:
In other words, whether or not Bill himself had romantic or sexual feelings for Ford (and how much he actually does want these feelings returned, seeing as how there is evidence that he does crave genuine love himself throughout the book even if he directly shuns it), he would have been well aware that taking advantage of Ford’s need for acceptance which, again, he often associated with romantic attention, could be a useful form of manipulation in getting him to, not only give Bill power over him, but also get him to build Bill’s portal without asking questions.
This is further supported by the fact that some of the “tips” Bill gives are shown to have been used on Ford:
What this shows is that, while romance can very clearly be seen as playing a part in the BillFord relationship, romantic attraction itself doesn’t necessarily have to. Both characters can be read as approaching romance from a place outside of attraction, regardless of whether that attraction was there or not.
In other words, the main tension of the BillFord dynamic isn’t necessarily based on romantic or sexual attraction from either character: It’s based on Bill’s manipulation of Ford’s insecurities ABOUT attraction.
BillFord and AroAce Relationship Trauma
So far, we’ve covered how aroace-ness can play a part in the reading of BillFord during their relationship, but what about after the relationship has ended?
First of all, Bill misses Ford
Bill’s feelings are not necessarily romantic in nature, but because The Book Of Bill often codes them as such, I will be treating them that way.
It is mostly via these hints that we get the queer-coding with Bill and Ford's relationship.
What is notable is that Ford is never shown to have the same feelings. Anytime Ford thinks back on his relationship with Bill, he mostly frames it around shame that he fell for Bill’s manipulation tactics in the first place.
Because of this and the fact that Ford often associates romance with acceptance, as discussed above, BillFord can very easily be read as the story of an aroace man leaving an abusive romantic relationship and becoming self-actualized and happy enough to live a life where he does not need romance in order to feel accepted and loved.
More on that in a bit, but first, I want to take a short aside to more closely explore the possible one-sided aspects of the BillFord relationship by taking a look at how it parallels a different Gravity Falls one-sided relationship:
Gideon and Mabel
Seeing as this dynamic is already pretty well known throughout the fandom due to it being explicitly canon within the show, I won’t go into too many details about the specifics, but what I do want to point out is 1) that mabel is often read as aro-spec by a-spec fans herself, and 2) that Gideon’s feelings for Mabel can be read as a parallel to Bill’s feelings about Ford.
So first thing’s first, Mabel can be read as aromantic.
Now hold on, I hear you saying. Isn’t being boy-crazy literally a part of her personality? Isn’t she shown to have a lot of interest in shipping and romance throughout the series? Well, yes! She is!
But, as I mentioned in part 1, wanting a romantic relationship and feeling romantic attraction are not necessarily the same thing. In fact, it is this hyper-interest in romance that typically attracts an aro-spec reading in the first place!
Many aromantic people, especially women and often because of amatonormativity, have stages in their lives where they become really interested in romance because that is what is expected of women and girls around Mabel’s age.
Taking this even further, it is possible to enjoy romantic actions and/or relationships and not feel romantic attraction (cupioromantic, aegoromantic) or even feel romantic attraction only in limited or specific circumstances (frayromantic, lithromantic, greyromantic).
Coupled with the way that many aro-spec people can relate to her discomfort in being in a relationship with Gideon which she felt pressured into by both him and those around her, especially with Gideon’s stalkerish insistence on forcing her to love him even when she can’t and has no desire to, many aro-spec people often see themselves in her.
So what does this have to do with Bill and Ford? Put simply, during Weirdmageddon, Gideon’s feelings for and treatment of Mabel can be seen as paralleling Bill’s feelings for and treatment of Ford.
During Weirdmageddon Part 1, Bill promises Gideon the key to Mabel’s prison, using his feelings for her to keep him in line.
When Dipper calls Gideon out on this, he says the following:
“Bill explained it to me nice and simple. She was always destined to be mine. And now that I have her in a cage, she’ll learn to love me. I have an eternity to wait.”
These lines can easily be read as referring to Bill’s own feelings on Ford who he similarly has locked up under his power at the same time, with the reading only being enhanced by Gideon stating directly that Bill “explained” this point of view to him.
So, when taking into account that Mabel’s experiences with Gideon can also be read as aro-spec in nature, it becomes even easier to see how Ford being read as aroace can help to enhance his and Bill’s one-sided relationship dynamic as well.
Ford’s Recovery and the Power of Familial Love
As well as how reading Ford as aroace could help to show some of the ways in which his feelings about romance left him vulnerable to Bill’s manipulation, it can also help to enhance the ways in which Ford recovered from Bill’s manipulation and moved on to much happier and healthier relationships.
After all, above all else, Ford’s journey is a story about RECOVERY.
First, it is important to note that after Ford discovers that Bill has been manipulating him, Bill’s tactics to use Ford no longer work on him. Bill tries a few different times to try and convince Ford that he needs Bill, both just after Ford shuts down the portal and during weirdmageddon. But he fails each time.
This in itself, doesn’t really matter for an aroace reading. What does matter is the reason Bill continues to fail.
Every single time Bill fails, it is connected to Ford’s love for his family.
When he makes a joke about his “aim getting better,” not only is it a line he remembers from his father, but its one the fandom associates with Stan, his brother. By using it, he rejects Bill with a tactic taught to him by the very people Bill tries to convince him he can’t rely on.
When Bill offers him ultimate power, Ford rejects him immediately. It is only when Bill later threatens his family that Ford begins to consider giving in to him, and even then Stan’s love for all three of them and his sacrifice for them is what saves the entire world and Ford, Mabel, and Dipper's love is what eventually saves Stan.
If you read Ford and Bill’s relationship as romantic, then over and over again, you see this relationship rejected instead for familial love.
It is at this point that I want to make an important clarification:
I don’t believe romance to be a bad thing or something that needs to be rejected by society, nor do I think BillFord should be read as a stand-in for romance as a concept as it clearly is meant to be read as an abusive relationship.
The point I am trying to make with this post isn’t that because abuse can exist within romantic relationships, romance should be fully rejected or that abuse cannot exist in platonic and familial relationships.
The point I am making is that, when reading Ford as aroace and BillFord as romantic, his story becomes one where he goes from an amatonormative standpoint which left him vulnerable to abuse in his search for acceptance via romance, to one where he finds self-acceptance, safety, and love within his platonic bonds instead.
For an aroace audience, this can be an incredibly powerful message.
Many of us feel a massive amount of pressure from society to conform to societal expectations and settle down with a romantic and sexual partner. Ford’s story works to reject that norm.
In a media landscape saturated with romance, this feels like a story where we can see ourselves.
#long post#aroace stanford pines#aroace ford pines#aromantic#asexual#aroace#i'm just very aroace#bill cypher#billford#aroace ford#bill cipher#book of bill#the book of bill#journal 3#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#aromantic ford#asexual ford#ford pines#grunkle ford#stanford pines#That was a long one#Clearly I've been thinking a lot about these two#Once again this is not meant to disqualify other takes on this relationship. It is simply one way to read them#That said allos get on my level. I understand them in a way that you could never /j
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Easy Narrative Techniques That Spice Up your Works
Narrative Technique is, in simple words, the method a writer or author chooses to tell their story. It includes literary and fictional devices that assist greatly in writing literature or fiction.
In this post, I'm going to go into useful details about narrative techniques and how to play them out while writing your project. Here they are:
1. Setting:
You must've noticed that in genres like horror/mystery/crime the story is set in or restricted to just one place. This has an important impact on the protagonists and characters of your story. Settings play a huge role especially in the genre of crime/horror because the plot is carried out within those premises.
For example, in the movie Scream, the whole story is carried out in the town of Woodsboro, which is significant to note as it adds more thrill given that the killer is on the loose and within very close proximity.
Settings are also vital in genres like fantasy/adventure where the conflict is carried out in an unusual environment as it creates a sense of fight-or-flight hence gripping you into the story.
2. Cliffhanger:
Cliffhangers are common, and rightfully so because they are essential in a fair amount of stories. A cliffhanger is when the author ends a chapter or a book in suspense, often hinting at event that is due in the later part of the book or series.
Cliffhangers can either introduce the possibility of a newer event, or will create a gap before something is resolved, which makes your reader want more in order to find a solution. This encourages your reader to stick by and through, until a satisfactory answer is given.
Cliffhangers are also more effective in the genres of crime, horror, mystery, adventure, and fantasy. In genres like romance or slice of life, cliffhangers can be used, but it needs to be ensured that it doesn't deviate from the light-hearted mood of the story.
3. Multiperspectivity:
This one can be so interesting if used right. Multiperspectivity, as the name suggests, is when there are more than 1 or 2 perspectives in the story.
This pumps up the interest factor as different characters will see things differently. When you show the story being carried out in a variety of POVs, you give your readers the chance to read the story in a new light with every character.
This can also affect the plot, as different characters will have different goals by the end of the story. Multiperspectivity can also help you resolve conflict between different characters. In addition, you can use this to introduce a hidden villain/a hidden hero.
4. Sensory Detail:
Sensory details are the visual images you create for your readers while writing descriptions. This helps in the famous ‘show, don't tell’ and sensory details will visualise the scene for your readers.
This can also be paralleled with imagery (sight, touch, sound, taste, smell).
For example, imagine a hilltop. Instead of just writing about the fact that you see trees and the sun and some animals, you could put down your senses to make the description more visual. It would go like – “As she stood on the hilltop, her eyes took in the verdant swathes before her. The soft breeze tickled her skin while she basked in the warmth of the sun. Deer galloped across the lush, green grass, calling and prancing in carefree freedom. The scent of the earth hit her nose, and it was there that she felt she was home."
5. Foreshadowing:
It's common, it's effective, it's fun. Foreshadowing is when the author is implicitly trying to hint at a forthcoming event. It creates a suspicion in the reader's mind, which keeps the interest alive.
Foreshadowing and cliffhangers can be mixed to create a lot of questions in your reader's minds, which further keeps them hooked into your work.
6. Analepsis & Prolepsis:
Fancy words for plain terms. It's nothing but flashbacks and flash-forwards.
Analepsis (flashback) is when the author breaks the chronology of the story to bring light to an important event in the past. This either has an impact on the plot or the main character.
Prolepsis (flash-forward) is when the author breaks the chronology to go into the future. This can be used to highlight an important event (or events) that are likely to happen in the future.
It's important to note that these are not the same as time skips, which are just a leap from one time to another to not lose grip of the eventfulness of the story.
7. Chekhov's gun:
Chekhov's gun keeps your writing in check. Chekhov's gun is a principle that says any and every element in a narrative should have a purpose. If it doesn't, it get's removed.
Let's say you've introduced a character. Chekhov's gun requires you to assign a purpose to that character. Unless they are contributing to the story, they are useless. If they can have any sort of impact, then you keep them. If they don't, then they get executed from the plot. The same thing applies to objects as well. If your protagonist has found a box, something better come out of it or it's getting thrown in the trash.
8. Title Drops:
We love these, let's be honest. As the name suggests, title drops are when the author writes the name of the title in a line, or adds it in a dialogue, or uses it as a description to finish the story with a cherry on top.
Example: In the 90s romcom She's All That, there's a scene during their prom preparations where two guys are rapping and one of them says, "she's all that" as lyrics. This is a title drop.
9. Antithesis:
Antithesis uses two opposite ideas and puts them together to amplify the message you're trying to send. Antithesis can be done in two cases: contrast and parallelism.
With respect to CONTRAST, antithesis uses two polar opposites to highlight a certain point. For example: "In an instant, all the colour was gone. He was left with black. He was left with white." Here, you have ‘black’ and ‘white’ being used as opposite colours to signify the lack of vibrance.
With respect to PARALLELISM, antithesis puts forth a contradiction but in parallel structure. This means that the grammatical structures of your opposite phrases/sentences are the same. For example: "He was left with black. He was left with white." These two sentences have the same grammatical structure. Infact, the only difference between these two sentences is the colour, but then it amplifies the message.
I hope this helps those reading this. If you're a beginner or even stuck with your work, try implementing some of these to help yourself!
- ashlee
#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writing#books#writer#write#writingtips#creative writing#fanfic writing#tips and tricks#fiction writing#writing ideas#writing prompts#writeblr#writer stuff#writer things#writers#writing help#writing techniques#writings#writing fiction#fiction#novel#author#fanfics#writing tips#writing tricks#women writers#ao3 writer#narrative techniques
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TL asleep? cool.
(long post, strap in)
i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.
lets break it down:
we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005
Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.
colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come
he confesses his feelings for her
she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)
they make out
he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)
he wakes up, absolutely shook
this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment
in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)
and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection
which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!
the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"
a line that i love is :
"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"
and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies
but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene
Now: some costuming details that i love:
Her hair:
(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style
let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)
the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style
the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.
compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes
the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.
And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.
This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:
there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.
but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous
(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees
what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.
the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene
for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror
this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially
because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)
and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up
i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing
this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.
so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"
and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.
If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584
chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up
photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg
#colin bridgerton#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#penelope featherington coded#polin#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#bridgerton meta#costume design#demisexuality#demisexual representation#demisexual colin bridgerton#bridgerton season 3 analysis#romancing mister bridgerton#romancing mr. bridgerton#adaptation analysis#some historical context analysis as a treat for me specifically
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SPOILERS FOR GOTG VOL. 3 - DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET!
I have a feeling that everyone (who calls themselves fans) that didn't get the meaning of the ending in GOTG Vol. 3 has never read a single comic of them or is only a fan of some characters/relationships. Many complaints I've seen are about the end and Gamora and Peter’s romance, which sounds kind of childish. You don't need to agree with me, but I’d like to elaborate on that.
James Gunn's writing is always about the detail of things and he is not afraid to do something “bad” if it is the best for the STORYTELLING. This is what most of these people don't get: the most important part of these movies is the story they are telling. The characters help the movie tell the story, it's their story after all — but there's no protagonist or greater good that puts them above the narrative.
(This is different from Gamora’s death in IW btw. It was not the only way they had to make the story flow; they just wanted to “humanize” Thanos and by that, they chose to kill her character. It was an action ADDED not CRUCIAL to the story.)
Vol. 3 is about found-family and growing up; finishing cycles. They will always be family, as we will always be part of their story (that’s why we understand Groot now). However, life chapters end just like in real books, and these Guardians as a TEAM “chapter” has ended for them and for us.
This is very common in the comics. Most times they are all separated, doing solo missions, until something goes wrong and they reunite again. They never stop being friends, why would it be different in the movie universe?
But the end suggests they are not family anymore.
Did we see the same film? No, it doesn't. We can see that in James’ subtle writing: the way they all still respect each other, their understanding of one another, and how they all would die for themselves if needed. That won't change just because they are not physically together — just like when you finish school you won't ignore your best friends, even if you create new relationships (which you will).
But Gamora is not part of the family anymore.
Well, if you see it this way, I can't change your mind. What I can say is that the story IMPLIES that she still is, in fact. And the number one clue is that she (in 2 days) understands Groot. Remember, we also understand him because the fans are now part of the Guardians family — so understanding him and being family are correlated.
Anyhow, I know this is not enough for most people, so hear me out: Gamora’s arc is about respect and healing. She starts the movie skeptical about working with the guardians — she just wants the money— when in reality, she acts like this because she is AFRAID and feels PRESSURED to be around her “old” family.
Imagine: you died but then another version of you comes back without knowing anything of your present life. People will expect you to act in a certain way that maybe you started to act after you met them; they will expect you to like certain things you don't know of; people will EXPECT you to attend to their needs. It is a lot to swallow at once. You are afraid because you don't know them, you don't think you deserve all this love and commitment out of nowhere. So you run away. You run away to find things on your own, to grow out of this pressure you feel and discover the whole universe of possibilities you have ahead.
That's what Gamora did. But then, the mission went south and now she is stuck with her “old” team. The film shows us her character exploring the ship, listening to music... trying to understand them. At one point she even says to Rocket “You must be a very loyal pet for them to do all this for you” (or something similar). This is her way of putting into words how she visualizes the current scenario she was put in. Slowly she recognizes that they are a family, and by the way they act she finally gets how and why she also must have loved them in the past.
She goes from “I don't give a fuck”, not open to them, afraid and pressured to “I bet we were fun”, understanding and respecting them, even fighting for their family to survive.
(If she still didn't give a fuck she wouldn't have fought for them and with them when she could have just run away again.)
But she has already created new relations, so she goes back to those for now. It is what she is familiar with in this timeline. Does that mean she will never contact the guardians ever again? NO. Remember: James’s writing is about DETAILS, nuance. She is open to them again, and the final part of the movie shows this to us, especially her last interaction with Groot, Peter, and Nebula being friendly.
Oh, but Peter and Gamora will never be a couple again, their romance ended when she went back to the Ravengers.
… Again, if you see it this way I can’t change your mind. What I can confirm is that she doesn’t close herself to the team — especially to Peter — in the end.
When she says “I bet we were fun” it's the first time she acknowledges their former relationship without distancing herself from it. She could've said “I bet you were fun” or “I bet she was fun”, but instead she prefers to include herself with “we”. She pauses before letting go of Nowhere, stopping before entering her ship — what moves her forward is Nebula, who can see her sister’s changed attitude but still encourages her to take a step forward and go explore the galaxy, because she knows Gamora is not mature and ready yet for those feelings; just like she wasn't ready to be openly sentimental when Gamora joined the Guardians back in 2014.
And Peter is also not ready. Just like Gamora needs to find herself again and discover who she is, Peter needs too. He is lost without her after IW, we can see it during Holiday Special and in the beginning of Vol. 3 when he passes out because of alcohol abuse. Both don't know who they are in this new reality — and they will only find out with time. Time heals and reveals.
In the end, Peter doesn't have the same thought as in the begging: he doesn't want her to be who he once knew, he wants her as she is, this new version whom he still loves so much and wants to know more of. Although he wishes she could stay, he knows that she has her own time and while she learns about herself he will go do the same.
So yes, they’re not explicitly together as a couple in the final scene — neither they kiss nor make out, whatever you believe a relationship is made of — but they’ve changed and are open to one another. The last scene does not appear to me as an “I’ll never see you again”, but as a “Goodbye, see you soon”.
(Aside from all the small bits we had through the movie of a developing relationship between them; my favorite one being when Peter activates the auto-destruction code and Gamora smiles at him.)
Besides, you can't force anyone to fall in love in 48 hours!!
Yes, I also have some minor complaints about the story, but I can recognize that — with all the turbulence the characters and the production faced in the last few years — it was a satisfying end with a limited amount of time to a badass trilogy. The end is definitive but also open to future possibilities for all our favorite characters in their universe — some we might never see and it will only be to our imagination.
Again, you don't need to agree with me, but I had to do this, or else I would implode with thoughts. Thank you if read up here! My ask box is open if you want to talk more <3
#gotg#guardians of the galaxy#guardians of the galaxy vol. 3#gotg vol.3#gamora#peter quill#starmora#nebula#rocket racoon#groot#drax#mantis#all the other guardians#I had to do it I'm SORRY#I can't bear it anymore#people need to stop thinking every story has a happily ever after#Besides that has never been how James Gunn wrote their story#it's not his style to do something so blatant#it hurts me to know this chapter is over but that's life and that's growing up#now to fulfill my starmora heart for example i’ll open AO3#that's what we do we imagine the future and support our local writers#Sorry for any misspelling errors#English is not my 1st language
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What Non-Pagans Need to Know About Fiction Featuring Pagan Gods
In light of Marvel's Loki show dropping a second season and a new Percy Jackson series on the horizon, I want to say some things about how fandom spaces can be respectful of real-life pagan religion.
Let's get one thing out of the way: literally no one is saying you can't enjoy fiction that uses pagan gods and heroes as characters. No one is saying, "Stop writing stories about our gods." In fact, many ancient cultures wrote fiction about their gods -- look at Greek theater or the Norse Eddas. The act of writing fiction about the gods is not offensive in itself.
But please remember that this is someone's religion.
The gods are not "just archetypes." Their myths are not "just stories." Their personalities are not a matter of artistic interpretation. For many pagans, the gods are very much real in a literal sense. I don't think Thor is a metaphor or a symbol -- for me, Thor is a real, autonomous spiritual being who exists outside of human perceptions of him, and who I have chosen to build a relationship with. Even if you are a hardcore atheist, I would hope you could at least be respectful of the fact that, to many modern pagans, the gods are both very real and very important.
When authors are not respectful of this fact, they reduce the gods, these very real objects of worship, to fictional characters. And here's the thing about fictional characters: they are fundamentally tools for authors to use to draw a desired emotional response from an audience.
Dracula's personality and behavior is wildly different depending on who is writing him, because different authors use Dracula to create different reactions in their audiences. In the 1931 film starring Bela Lugosi, he's equal parts alluring and disturbing, a symbol of America's mixed desire and disdain for foreigners. In Nosferatu, he's more strictly frightening and disgusting. In Francis Ford Coppola's movie, he's a tragic, romantic figure clinging to the last scraps of his humanity. In Netflix's Castlevania, he's an incredibly powerful being who has grown bitter and apathetic in his immortality. All of this is Dracula, and all of it is fine, because Dracula is not and never has been a central figure in anyone's religion.
Let's take a look at what happens when authors give this same treatment to real gods:
In Hellenic polytheism, Apollo is one of the most beloved gods, both historically and today. Apollo loves humanity, and humanity loves him back. He is the god of sunlight and of medicine, but also of poetry and song. He is one of humanity's most consistent defenders when one of the other gods gets wrathful. And while he does have dangerous or wrathful aspects of his own (he's also the god of disease, after all), he's also kind and soft with humanity in a way other gods often aren't, at least in some historic sources.
In the Lore Olympus comic series, Apollo is a villain. He's characterized as an abuser, a manipulator, and a violent man child. LO!Apollo is downright hateful, because the author wants us to hate him. Lore Olympus is a retelling of a myth about an abduction and forced marriage. Lore Olympus is also a romance. In order to get the audience to sympathize with Hades and root for his relationship with Persephone, Rachel Smythe needed to make someone else the villain. Apollo is the most obvious and extreme character assassination in Smythe's work, but several other gods (notably Demeter) also get the asshole makeover to tell the story Smythe wants to tell.
Here's where this becomes a problem: Hellenic polytheism is a fairly small religious community, while Lore Olympus is a massively popular webtoon with 1.3 billion views as of August 2023, print books available from major retailers, a TV adaptation in the works, and a very active online fandom. Rachel Smythe currently has a MUCH bigger platform than any Hellenic polytheism practitioner. Smythe and other authors are shaping how modern culture views the Hellenic gods, and that has a very real impact on their worshipers.
This means "Apollo is an abusive asshole" is becoming a popular take online, and is even creeping into pagan communities. I've personally seen people be harassed for worshiping Apollo because of it. I've seen new pagans and pagan-curious folks who totally misunderstand the roles Apollo, Hades, and Persephone play in the Hellenic pantheon because of Lore Olympus and other modern works of fiction.
There are tons of other examples of this in modern pop culture, but I'll just rattle off a few of the ones that annoy me most: Rick Riordan depicting Ares/Mars as a brutish asshole hyped up on toxic masculinity; Rick Riordan depicting Athena as a mother goddess; Marvel depicting Thor as a dumb jock; Marvel depicting Odin as a cold, uncaring father; DC depicting Ares as purely evil; whatever the fuck the Vikings TV show was trying to do with seidr; the list goes on.
All of these are examples of religious appropriation. Religious appropriation is when sacred symbols are taken out of their original religious context by outsiders, so that the original meaning is lost or changed. It requires a power imbalance -- the person taking the symbols is usually part of a dominant religious culture. In many cases, the person doing the appropriation has a much bigger platform than anyone who has the knowledge to correct them.
When Rick Rioridan or Rachel Smythe totally mischaracterizes a Greek god to tell a story, and then actual Hellenic pagans get harassed for worshiping that god, that's religious appropriation.
Religious appropriation is a real issue. This isn't just pagans being sensitive. To use an extreme example: Richard Wagner and other German Romantic authors in the 19th century used the Norse gods and other Germanic deities as symbols in their work, which was a major influence on Nazi philosophy. Without Wagner, the Nazis would not have latched onto the Norse gods as symbols of their white supremacist agenda. To this day, there are white supremacist groups who claim to worship our gods or who use our religious imagery in their hate movement. We are still reckoning with the misinterpretation of our gods popularized by Wagner and other German Romantics almost 200 years ago.
Again, no one is saying you can't enjoy fiction based on pagan mythology. But there are a few things you can do to help prevent religious appropriation in fandom spaces:
Above all else, be mindful that while this may just be a story to you, it is someone's religion.
Recognize that enjoying fiction based on our gods does not mean you know our gods. You know fictional characters with the same names as our gods, who may or may not be accurate to real-life worship.
Do not argue with or try to correct pagans when we talk about our experience of our gods.
Don't invalidate or belittle pagan worship. Again, this mostly comes down to recognizing that our religion is totally separate from your fandom. We aren't LARPing or playing pretend. Our sacred traditions are real and valid.
If you see other people in your fandom engaging in religious appropriation, point out what they are doing and why it isn't okay.
Please tag your fandom content appropriately on social media. Always tag the show, movie, book, etc. that a post is about in addition to other relevant tags. This allows pagans to block these fandom tags if we don't want to see them and prevents fandom content showing up in religious tags.
For example, if I'm posting about Athena from the Percy Jackson books, I would tag the post #athena #athenapjo #percyjackson #pjo. You get the idea.
And if fiction sparks your interest and you want to learn more about the actual worship of the gods, you can always ask! Most pagans love talking about our gods and trading book recs.
If you are writing fiction based on real mythology, talk to people who worship those gods. Ask them what a respectful portrayal would look like. If possible, include a note in your finished work reminding audiences that it is a work of fiction and not meant to accurately portray these gods.
#btw hades is also not a villain in helpol#this post is just mostly discussing how lo villiainizes apollo#shoutout to my roman pagan husband for proofreading and offering feedback#this post is Approved By The Council#psa#long post#paganism#pagan#paganblr#heathenry#norse heathen#norse paganism#inclusive heathenry#hellenic polytheism#helpol#religio romana#roman polytheism#roman pagan#marvel#mcu#loki series#loki season 2#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#lore olympus#religious appropriation#my writing#white supremacy mention#white supremacy tw
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·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ WRITEBLR INTRODUCTION.
I don't usually put myself out there as it makes me nervous. But I've been a lurker for way too long, and it's about time I step out of my comfort zone. So, hello! I'm Dee (she/her), twenty-two, and have found my voice with storytelling.
Writing has always been a passion of mine, and continues to be the tool I turn to when I need an outlet to freely express myself. I have, unfortunately, hit a rough patch with consistency, and I'm here to bring all of that motivation and inspiration back. Especially since there are one too many WIPs sitting on the backburner, and they're all calling my name.
As someone who loves to dip their toes into every genre of fiction, I will read anything that peaks my interest. However, when it comes to creating, my works usually fall under romance and mystery. With practice, I intend on branching out into other genres I don't write often. There's a lot to explore in the world of writing, and I don't want to limit myself to only two categories.
Creating this blog provides me the space I need to accomplish the many goals I often dream of achieving. I acknowledge that it all starts with the ability to hold myself accountable. To show up for myself. To become comfortable with the uncomfortable. Putting myself and my projects out into the world is only the first of many steps, and it feels quite liberating.
I aim to use the voice I've found to not only contribute to the progression of POC representation, but to touch on several topics that remain heavily stigmatized in today's media. There’s a joy that runs through my veins every time I see someone like me on my screen or in a book. I feel seen, heard, and proud. I feel important. But as a creator, there’s that itch that can only be scratched when I create. When I make something that lets the next person know that they’re not invisible. That they're valued, loved, and appreciated. That's what I hope for when someone reads a project of mine. For them to feel the same rush of joy flowing through them as it does me.
Wow, I’m a yapper. I'd like to close this intro off with some fun facts, so here are some of my top five favorites with sidenotes because I still want to yap a bit more about the things I adore.
SOLO ARTISTS:
ARI LENNOX ✧ ˚ · . CHOCOLATE POMEGRANATE — GET CLOSE — GOAT — POF — UP LATE
HALSEY ✧ ˚ · . 100 LETTERS — I HATE EVERYBODY — NIGHTMARE — ROMAN HOLIDAY — THE LIGHTHOUSE
HOPE TALA ✧ ˚ · . CHERRIES — EDEN — I CAN'T EVEN CRY — LEAVE IT ON THE DANCEFLOOR — SUNBURN
MELANIE MARTINEZ ✧ ˚ · . ALPHABET BOY — DEAD TO ME — EVIL — NOTEBOOK — STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE
HALIMA ✧ ˚ · . DOWNTOWN — FORD CARDINAL — IF LOVE WAS GREEN — SAMANTHA — TALK
BANDS:
5 SECONDS OF SUMMER ✧ ˚ · . AIRPLANES — BETTER MAN — KILL MY TIME — LONG WAY HOME — TEARS!
FALL OUT BOY ✧ ˚ · . BANG THE DOLDRUMS — CHICAGO IS SO TWO YEARS AGO — HEADFIRST SLIDE INTO COOPERSTOWN ON A BAD BET — NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER — WHERE DID THE PARTY GO
FLO ✧ ˚ · . CARDBOARD BOX — FLY GIRL — IMMATURE — SUITE LIFE (FAMILIAR) — WALK LIKE THIS
PARAMORE ✧ ˚ · . BIG MAN, LITTLE DIGNITY — CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE — FRANKLIN — MISGUIDED GHOST — PART II
THE INTERNET ✧ ˚ · . DONTCHA — HOLD ON — LOOK WHAT U STARTED — SOMTHING'S MISSING — SPECIAL AFFAIR
GAMES:
CORAL ISLAND ✧ ˚ · . IF I START LISTING NAMES, I'M GOING TO MENTION EVERYONE. BUT I'M A LOYAL MARK GIRL. AND NOAH... AND MILLIE, EVA, BEN, Y—
DISNEY DREAMLIGHT VALLEY ✧ ˚ · . THIS IS SUCH A COMFORT GAME THAT SOOTHES MY INNER CHILD.
DON'T STARVE [TOGETHER] ✧ ˚ · . I MAY OR MAY NOT STILL SUCK AT THIS GAME AFTER A SOLID THREE YEARS, BUT I'M A WIGFRID MAIN.
STARDEW VALLEY ✧ ˚ · . I LOVE SEBASTIAN AND LEAH, AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL IF I HAVE TO.
THE SIMS 4 ✧ ˚ · . WHERE I SPEND A LOT MORE TIME IN CREATE-A-SIM AND BUILD MODE COMPARED TO PLAYING THE ACTUAL GAME.
TROPES:
FAKE RELATIONSHIP ✧ ˚ · . MHM... JUST SAY YOU LIKE EACH OTHER ALREADY.
FATED MATE ✧ ˚ · . I'M A BIT PICKY ABOUT THIS TROPE THOUGH. THINGS TEND TO MOVE VERY QUICKLY BUT I ENJOY IT NONETHELESS.
FRIENDS TO LOVERS ✧ ˚ · . A CLASSIC THAT DOESN'T NEED AN EXPLANATION.
REUNION ✧ ˚ · . ESPECIALLY IF THEY WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND THEY REMINISCE OLD MEMORIES, OH MY GOODNESS. I EAT THIS TROPE UP EVERY TIME.
SLOWBURN ✧ ˚ · . NO DOUBT THIS IS MY MOST FAVORITE TROPE. THE BUILDUP TO EVEN THE TINIEST PIVOTAL MOMENT ALWAYS MAKES MY HEART THUMP.
TV SHOWS:
CRIMINAL MINDS ✧ ˚ · . YES, I’LL WATCH ALL 16 SEASONS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME AND FALL IN LOVE WITH PRENTISS EACH TIME. WE WERE ALSO ROBBED OF BEARDED HOTCH CONTENT.
BRIDGERTON ✧ ˚ · . DO I CRY EVERY TIME I WATCH GEORGE AND CHARLOTTE'S STORY? YES. WILL I CONTINUE TO REWATCH IT AND RECITE THE LINES EVERY TIME SOMETHING REMINDS ME OF IT? ASOLUTELY.
THE BEAR ✧ ˚ · . I WISH I KNEW OF AYO EDEBIRI BEFORE THIS SHOW BECAUSE THAT WOMAN IS AMAZING??? LIKE, HELLO???
THE EQUALIZER ✧ ˚ · . *mini spoiler* STILL CAN'T STOP THINKING OF DANTE'S GRIN WHEN HE GOT TO SEE MEL, ROB, AND HARRY'S LITTLE WORK SPOT FOUR SEASONS LATER.
SWEET MAGNOLIAS ✧ ˚ · . HELEN, MADDIE, AND DANA SUE IS HOW I PICTURE MY FRIENDS AND I IN THE FUTURE. MARGARITA NIGHTS, BEING AUNTIES TO EACH OTHER'S CHILDREN, UGH. I LOVE THEM WHOLEHEARTEDLY.
And that concludes this introduction on me and this blog. I would love to connect and befriend other authors, so please don't hesitate to reach out as my DMs will always be open! I'd love to support and read your works, so don't be hesitant to share them with me if you'd like.
I hope you all will enjoy reading my works as much as I enjoy the process of bringing my ideas to life.
divider creds to strangergraphics ♡
#writeblr#blog intro#writeblr intro#writeblr community#writing community#writing on tumblr#writers on tumblr#writing#authors#writers#i did not expect for this to get as long as it did my oh my
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Do not fret my fellow Siegfried x Audrey fans out there. If anything, the episode proved that Siegfried had forgotten other women even existed ever since he realised things were serious between Audrey and Gerald. These two things coincided, let's not forget. It also proves that he hates for his reputation as being habile with the ladies to be questioned or for Tristan to have one over him so he has to overcompensate. And lastly it made a point of showing us what really matters to him at the end. Not the book and therefore the potential romance with this woman, but the nurturance and care for his family. Hence why he dropped the damned thing and instead chose to go to the pub. Look at her face of disapproval when Siegfried first declined to go for a pint.
It's also very deliberate on the writers' part to have Audrey ask about said book, only for him to instantly dismiss it as a tedious read.
To me, it's obvious that it was about showing what a true pair bond looks like. Showing Audrey dutifully listening to Siegfried's concerns, offering advice which he immediately finds enlightening and useful? And both of them listening in on Richard's conversation over the phone with matching looks of fondness on their face? What was it that Carmody said? Ah yes:
"Humans generally thrive in pair bonds".
It is not as overt as what we are used to seeing certainly, but that's what makes this show so delicious. It's all in the little things. The nuances and the unsaid which define human relationships. It's closer to life. In fact, Siegfried phrased it perfectly to Carmody:
"There is a pace at which these things are done. A subtlety."
Also, an episode called Pair Bond and this is how these two are framed in the shot?? HELLO!!
I think the context is also important to remember. She's his employee. It would have been considered outrageously scandalous within the local community, I assume, for a gentleman and his housekeeper to have a romantic relationship. I think Siegfried knows precisely what gem he has under his roof, and also that the last thing he wants is to bring shame and potential ruin on such a pious, saintly woman. He won't allow himself to go there.
It will take something even more Earth-shattering than her potential departure for him to finally acknowledge that he fancies the pants off of her. With the implicit fallout that he will inevitably have to face. I can't wait.
#siegfried x audrey#siegfried farnon#audrey hall#all creatures great and small#acgas spoilers#acgas 2020#samuel west#anna madeley
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I feel like people miss the part where if Elain and Lucien ended up together, it's because they both made the choice to make it work.
Lucien currently is trying to find some common ground with Elain to get to know her but he obviously is being respectful of the fact that she chooses to keep a distance from him so he isn't around much.
Elain is making a choice to not pursue or explore the bond as of the current canon (which remember that canon is always subject to change based on future events).
These characters are making choices, no one is forcing their hand to do something against their will. Both Elain and Lucien did not have a choice in being mated to each other.
Did no one ever read a romance where a couple where so at odds with each other at the beginning but then they eventually fell for each other the more they spent time and got to know to one another? It's very common in historical romances and Elucien's bond is similar to the dynamic of a couple pushed into an arranged marriage/marriage of convenience with their bond—they're basically strangers and won't know how compatible they are until they spend more time or make the effort to know each other.
And to sum up what Mor said in ACOFAS: Elain and Lucien are not ready to deal with their bond right now until they figure out who they want to be and where they want to be.
SJM wouldn't add that to ACOFAS unless she wants the reader to know Elain and Lucien are not ready just yet to deal with it.
This is important for Elain and Lucien and it has to be explored through their own POVs. It's why I believe the reason they're kind of stagnant right now is because that development requires their POVs (to also see how they navigate through a mate's instincts and that can't be narrated from another character's POV).
I stand by the theory that the rejected mating bond story we would likely get is Helion and Lady of Autumn. The clues in ACOWAR are screaming that Helion and Lady of Autumn are mates. That story leaves more room for a more impactful and tragic rejected bond story to be told in the book—like, enough time passed to see the repercussions of a rejected bond and how Helion and Lady of Autumn dealt with it for centuries. We already got glimpses of it when Helion was telling Feyre and the IC his story with Lady of Autumn in ACOWAR.
To me a rejected bond isn't just a scene of two characters sitting together and Elain goes "I reject you" and Lucien is like "okay it was nice meeting you". That's not impactful or makes for a good story in my opinion. I think that trope could be used for secondary/minor characters who had time to deal with it, but not for the main couples especially since SJM promised a HEA for all the characters.
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LARRY DATING HEADCANONS
✧.*
•Larry will honestly be such a clueless guy when it comes to dating. He is a robot who originally works for ONLY THE LAW- meaning he has no idea or has a well-known understanding of romance. You could even say he is basically a baby bird and you need to steer this relationship for the first couple of months or maybe a year or so, guiding him.
•As much as he loves you, he will not put you over his job, maybe over Lawrie but that is very debatable. He loves Starr Park and its rules! He will sacrifice everything even his own brother and his life to keep it safe! It’s probably a no-brainer for him to choose which one is more important. But despite all of that, he holds you very very dear to his heart! He doesn’t hate you or think you’re nothing to him, no it’s quite the opposite! He cares for you a huge ton like the people he also loves; Lawrie and R-T! He adores and loves you so much!!! Though not as much as Starr Park and the rules!
•That additionally means he will absolutely NOT allow you to break the rules even if it’s minor. Every time when it seems like you are about to do something, he will immediately stop you and scold you. One time he tried to let you off but he was just glaring at you, gritting his teeth as his eyes followed you. He ultimately just cringed and denied you from doing it. He just can’t.
•I think that Larry simultaneously uses all types of love language to show how much he cares. Though he especially leans towards physical touch and spending time!
•Larry is someone who likes to be with his lover. I like to imagine ever since he figured out how relationships work, he wants to show them how much he cares about them so he’s physical with his way of showing affection! Sometimes it’s a bit corny like a kiss on the hand as he bows down or can be simple like handholding. But whatever it is, he enjoys it. It’s one of his ways of showing affection!
•Another reason why he’s so attached to his lover is the fact that he doesn’t have any time to spend with them. As a cop, it’s his duty to keep whatever he’s assigned to safe and oh boy, he’s very busy with his work. In Starr Park, there’s always something going wrong meaning he and his brother often have to spend a lot of time to fix and cool things down. Which causes him to spend less time with you and be more clingy. He wants to make it up with you!!!! So whenever he has the time to just be with you even if it’s for a second he cherishes it!
•As I mentioned before, Larry is inexperienced with the concept of love and so often times I would like to think he downloads a source; a movie or a book to get an idea of it. That could also be a part of how he figured out relationships!
•But since he had gathered that information from movies, books, and all of those things. He creates a certain expectation, something that can be somewhat achieved only in fiction because it’s impossible for couples to be lovey-dovey all the time, onto you. That causes way too much pressure as he wants to maintain that perfect couple look. He didn’t mean to do it on purpose, it was on his mindset because he was taught. However if you’re teaching him and building him up to be a better person in relationships, he will change sooner or later.
•Larry is a huge planner guy. He loves to be ahead of himself and be able to know what’s going to happen due to the schedule he has prepared. Yet even with him being excited and prepared for it, at the last minute it gets canceled. There’s something that goes completely wrong at Starr Park and they need Larry to come back and fix it. This is extremely disappointing and sad for Larry who looked forward to it probably a week beforehand.
•So with that in mind, yes, he does remember every single important event. Your birthday? He has it memorized probably even to the exact time you were born if you know it. Your anniversary with him? Got that! He’s prepared to give you the best gifts and celebrate a good day with you! Any holidays you like to spend? Has that inside of his memory so when you come to meet him, he always has something to do with you! He always has a huge special gift prepared for you! It’s usually flowers or things from the gift shop at the theme park. Maybe a romantic date if he has time too?
•Larry is a confident guy, he can make the first moves. He usually does if you’re not the one initiating contact however just in the first few weeks of dating. He would just watch your moves and wait patiently. He wasn’t sure if you would like it and so he would slowly creep his hand onto yours. Something small and something cute so he wouldn’t “scare” you off. Honestly, he was kinda afraid that your feelings for him were nothing.
•Larry doesn’t want to cry in front of his lover. He hates it even though he does it once in a while. Why? One, the oil splatters everywhere and it’s annoying to clean it up as it just smears. He doesn’t want his lover to do extra chores for him. Two, he’s a cop. He isn’t as strong or intimidating as Lawrie but sometimes he feels a bit weak when he shows a vulnerable side. Now he cries for a lot of different reasons; anger, sadness, he’s a robot. He doesn’t understand any of it and so often time it messes with his code, making him more emotional.
•Larry does get angry from time to time with you if you guys ever get in a fight. When he gets angry, it’s usually a shocker since many people perceive him as this happy, silly, optimistic guy. He usually snaps and explodes. He yells and screams before ending up in tears because he feels guilty. He will not hit you, he has great strength and is very cautious about it with you.
•Correlating to it, Larry is also not a violent guy. No, I’m not saying he will never have to use it. He will have to from time to time in Starr Park but he prefers to be docile. After all, it’s Lawrie's job to be the more aggressive one out of the two. So he prefers not to be physical.
•Larry is not afraid to yell out “I LOVE MY PARTNER” out loud.
•Larry isn’t easily flustered, shockers I know. He may seem like it but he actually just usually gives a small smile and laughs it off, thanking you generously for your appreciation. Even so, there are moments where you have him slightly blushing if you just play your cards right.
•Since he is a robot, he can either be the coldest or the hottest thing ever. His body is ice, shivering cold in the winter while it’s burning hot in the summer. The bad thing is that he likes to be with his lover so it gets very uncomfortable because of his body temperature. Sadly, he doesn’t feel how cold or hot it is to know the pain.
•Most of the time he’s smiling but the little face in his hat is not. That’s where you know he’s faking his smile. That face is an indicator of his real emotion. So he may seem all good and happy but inside he’s frustrated and mad.
•Larry tweaks when you give him any sort of affection. Whether it be physical touch, gifts, or any sort of that. He will go haywire, for the first few times he went short-circuiting and ended up overheating but now he has learned to control it.
•His siren, oh boy! If he’s really really happy then it blares up. It’s sweet but it’s actually so so so so dreadfully bad. It’s so loud and bright. It hurts your ears and eyes, it causes people to stare at him weirdly. Overall, the thought of it is nice of him but…
•Anyways! Larry is completely obsessive about you. He thinks about you every time at his job every single day! He’s always gushing to you to Lawrie when he has the chance, acting like a high school girl who had found her true love, giving his brother his thoughts and feelings to you- maybe even sprinkling a gesture for help. And trust me when I say this, Lawrie is far worse with the concept of romance than Larry is. He literally is absolutely so infatuated with you.
•Just like rules, he keeps your boundaries very dear to him. It’s sacred. He always reminds himself it’s like a mini law of Starr Park and if he breaks it accidentally, he will apologize furiously and so so much.
•Larry tries to look to impress his lover and maybe swoon them but it honestly ends up failing so badly and at that point, he just gets incredibly embarrassed for trying. He does that once in a while, you cannot stop him.
•Since he’s a cop, after all, his first instinct is to protect you. So everything that might seem dangerous or threatening to you, without hesitation he will jump in and save you like you were some sort of royal he needed to save. It’s all cute and silly before he jumps one of your friends and tries to arrest them claiming they were going to hurt you.
•That also means he is the literal fun police. No buts, whys, or anything like that, he will stop you if it goes against the rules or if it’s too dangerous. It’s for good intentions but the actions are not in the right place!
•Larry is easily a jealous man. Due to the fact that almost everybody in Starr Park hates him for shoving the rules up to their faces, he worries that you might have the same exact opinion as him. So he’s very clingy and often time gets fussy whenever he feels like your relationship is drifting apart. You have to comfort him that you won’t leave him.
•He would and WILL spend hours rambling about the rules of Starr Park to you. If you do listen and you’re interested in it, he will soar. He will immediately think you are the most important person to exist and he will want to marry you.
•Without a doubt, he’s the most cheesiest man to exist. He loves using corny pick-up lines. (He doesn’t know it’s cringy, he’s trying his best). He thinks he swoons you over with it.
•He will unironically correct you. Since he’s a cop and he corrects people from doing wrong, he would unintentionally point out. Oh, you used the wrong grammar? He will say what you missed. Your posture is not good? Yep, he’ll mention it. It’s not to make you feel bad, no, it’s just how he works.
•Larry is more competitive than his twin, Lawrie, so whenever you guys are doing something that’s some sort of rivalry. He will try hard to get the victory. It’s going to be so tense since he’s probably going to be the only one who takes it seriously. And if he doesn’t, he’s going to be so pouty. He will probably just ignore you for a few minutes because he didn’t get the win.
•Larry is also very clueless about emotions in general. He has much trouble understanding his own so do you really think he’s going to understand yours? No, he wouldn’t. That means he won’t be able to support you when you’re upset even if he has all the information he needs about it. He panics very very much and tries to comfort you.
•Speaking of comforting you. Usually when you’re feeling down, he will try to make you laugh by doing silly poses with his floating head or cracking up funny jokes. But if you really do need a friend to talk to, he will be there. He may just speak words based on facts from the computer but he truly means it when he says he cares and loves about you. He does but he doesn’t really know how to show it.
•Most of the conversations you would be having with this boy is so bland and straightforward. It sounds artificial because it is. He only bases the talk on real facts and doesn’t know anything about trends and such.
•Lawrie would be such a huge third wheel when Larry invites him to hang out with you guys. Larry will be so loving to you and Lawrie just has to watch as his brother clings onto you. It’s a bit awkward for him.
•He will point out random, cute pictures that have two characters and ask you, “Us?”
•Larry probably makes Lawrie act like you a couple of times, commonly used in the first couple of months of dating, so he wouldn’t be nervous to you face to face but it probably would work as well as he thought because Lawrie would just be too unenthusiastic and he didn’t act like you. Plus if he messed up, Lawrie would be super amused and tease him. He still does it from time to time but not as much as he did in the past.
•Larry will do everything in his power to make you feel the prettiest/handsome person ever. He doesn’t want you to be insecure ever despite his lack of confidence. Larry is the type of person to think that his partner is the most dashing person ever and if you ever think otherwise then he will be upset!
•If you’re someone who’s afraid of bugs, Larry would carefully let the bug go and scold them, thinking they understand the human language.
•Larry seems like a guy to be curious about everything so often times if he sees something he doesn’t know. He will come to the number one trustworthy source; you!!!
•He also loves to engage in a conversation! Whether it’ll be talking or listening, he’ll always be somewhat speaking to his love!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!! AND YES I WILL BE DOING LAWRIE DATING HEADCANON!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!! ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃
#brawl stars x reader#brawl stars#brawlstars#larry and lawrie#brawl stars larry#Larry#brawl stars Larry x reader#Larry brawl stars#x reader#Headcanons
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{Aemond Targaryen x F!Reader}
What bothers you? (Fluff)
Aemond Targaryen’s wife won’t tell him anything of when she’s ill or in pain and it’s bothering him
Aemond Targaryen was known to be a stoic and reserved man, only ever showing love and affection to those closest to him, his family. But for people marrying into his family this may seem intimidating. Aemond was cold and distant only spending his days doing princely duties or flying on Vaghar or sparring and training with ser Criston. In his free time he buried himself in his philosophy books.
When you were betrothed to Aemond, you were so nervous you could barely speak for the first few days, so afraid to ire his anger or disturb him with your blabber. But when you were comfortable you would grow far far..more talkative. Aemond one day happened to see you and helaena chatting away about spiders and insects, which surprised him. It was as though you spoke an inhuman amount of words in one sentence. He thanked the Gods that you weren’t like this when you were with him. Another part of him grumbled over the fact that you weren’t like that with him! Was it his eye? Did he terrify you and scare you away with his deformity? Were you only his betrothed because your family wished it. The thought had Aemond pulling at his hair.
Aemond decided to win your affections (for reasons unknown to him it was very important) he decided to barge in on the time you and helaena spent. Seeing Aemond so soft with the twins, reading with them and even occasionally joining conversations with Helaena on the silliest of topics. You no longer feared him, and even started reading with him to Jaehaerys and Jaehaera. You realised aemond was much more quiet and if he ever spoke his words held meaning and importance. But the previous quietness dissipated the moment you began to trust him, he would have to deal with a squealing betrothed every time you saw a cat, he would have to deal with you braiding his hair and gifting him embroidered handkerchiefs. He would have to deal with you following him around almost like a lost puppy and eventually sleeping by his side in the library because you were bored of the books he read. Why couldn’t he read something romantic?
The two of you were married in a grand feast, sharing your second kiss at the altar. The first kiss was accidentally lost when Aemond came back from a long journey away, he ended up grabbing your waist and kissing you right there and then, leaving you blushing over the fact that he actually listened to your ramble of what happened in your romance novels. The bedding was private, Aemond threatened to have Aegon’s tongue cut off if he decided to start a whole chant for a public bedding. That was the first night aemond had taken off his eyepatch to show himself to you fully. You kissed his scar and his sapphire gently before the two of you were lost in the flames of you ever growing passion. Aemond longed for you for days. The feeling of your tongue on his. His hands intertwined in yours and your legs wrapped around him as you begged him for more. He knew it then that you were the one who had entrapped him into loving you.
He told you of his secrets, the hurt he had endured from his past, the worst of them being Aegon’s brothel incident and his eye being taken from him. You would hold his hand as he spoke to you looking into the flames of the fireplace. You would try your best not to cry when he told you of his past, but seeing him in pain holding it all in absolutely killed you. Aemond’s jaw dropping in shock when he saw you cry hugging him, telling him that nothing of the sort will ever happen to him again, the reassurance you gave him all while crying. He loved you so dearly, he would do anything to keep you safe.
He noticed that you grew quite weak a few months into the marriage, you having frequent fevers and cold sweats at night. You felt guilty for dragging Aemond down. He would skip his training or a chance to ride vaghar to sit with your sick self until he was sure you would be okay. Due to your intense fever you would black out as well. The first time you blacked out Aemond visibly screamed at the guards, the maesters, his family everyone. He would rather lose his remaining eye than you.
Once you began to heal slowly..with time. You began to grow ashamed of yourself. Your husband had lost an eye at such a young age. His lost eye still caused him intense pain. And here you were fainting from weakness and a mere fever. You didn’t want Aemond to worry or miss out on his duty to waste his time with you. You began to force yourself to be okay in front of him, you stopped telling him of what you felt. And kept diverting the topic. But that didn’t stop Aemond’s keen observance from singling out all that was off with you. You clearly weren’t healed and you weren’t resting and that annoyed Aemond to no end. He wanted his bride healthy and happy.
You had forced yourself to dinner with the family and couldn’t keep your eyes open for half the dinner. Your head felt heavy and you were exhausted to no end. Aemond grabbed you by your arm pulling you from your seat with a tug. His heart skipped a beat in fear on how weak you seemed.
“Mother, excuse us.” He said ending the conversation at the dinner table to take you to your shared bedchamber.
“Aemond! You haven’t eaten anything” you complained to your husband who was so busy nitpicking over you and your health.
“What bothers you? Speak plainly. Now” he said placing you on a comfortable chair.
“Nothing husband—” you said guiltily.
Aemond sat by your feet, his head on your knees as he looked up. You couldn’t help but hold his adorable face scrunched up in worry in your hands.
“Tell me or I shall not be able to find rest” he said
“Aemond..it’s stupid. I am stupid” you said in response “I do not wish to trouble you” you laughed.
“It troubles me more when you stay quiet.” He said smiling sadly kissing your knuckles causing you to break out blushing.
“I feel like a burden to you husband, I feel weak. You have dealt with the most horrific of pains and you bear them so bravely and here I am complaining and fainting over..what weakness?” You scoffed pulling your hand away from his hand held yours firmly resisting your pull.
He stayed quiet for a minute before responding to your confession, “you are an idiot” he said chuckling. You expected him to say many things but not insult you but he seemed relieved more than anything. “And here I thought you no longer needed me”
“I’ll always need you, sick or not” you corrected him smiling.
“You are my wife..while it flatters me of how you think so highly of me. I have always felt most safest with my pain hidden within the depths of my mind” he explained “However you are not me, you need not push away your feelings. I don’t want you to be like me, I want to provide for you, I want to love you and be there for you” he explained.
“If I am to tell you of what I feel I want you to tell me of yours as well” you said looking at him to which he smiled
“Don’t I already? You even cried like a little girl when I poured my heart out to you” he teased. “It is a nice change seeing someone love me so much that they would cry on my behalf” he smiled. “How did I get so lucky with a woman like you?”
“You deserve nothing less than all the love this cruel world can provide”
“My world is not so cruel because it has you in it” he said, you would kiss him if you weren’t sick. You missed the intimacy.
“I don’t want to be sick anymore Aemond” you whined finally allowing yourself to vent to your husband.
“Then you have to rest, I should punish you for pushing yourself too hard” he teased playing with the wedding band on your finger.
“I feel like I want to slice off my head because of the headaches” you said “and then feed it to the dogs.” Aemond nodded his head listening to what you felt and oddly by the time you were done you felt more relieved.
“I’ll stay with you until you heal” Aemond said sternly with no room for arguments.
“I do not know when I will heal— it could take a moon or two moons” you said “you have duties!”
“I do not care, I will sit by your side for much as I please” he said stubbornly.
“What if I do not heal at all? What if this is it?” The thought broke Aemond’s heart his hands grasping your face almost desperately
“In your stupid fantasy novels a magical kiss from a prince would solve all these problems, a kiss from me and this won’t be the end” he said before you could stop him saying you were sick he had placed his lips on you. A little fever wouldn’t stop him, and his Targaryen genes were quite strong, he only cared to relieve you off your worry and fears. Aemond ended up spoon feeding you medicine and soup as you urged him to eat his dinner. The two of you worrying only about each other. Later that night as usual he slept with his upper body bare with you pressed against his chest with an arm wrapped around you holding you protectively. Aemond followed through on his promise and you healed slowly but steadily from your sudden weakness.
You would have to find a perfect way to return the favour to him someday. How did you ever get so lucky?
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