#the rest of them are chronically gonna be dependENT

[barnbridges]

im frankly the biggest fan of the useless detail that donna tartt went in on about ted corcoran for no fucking reason. he doesn't spend ANY significant time with the cast (besides the infamous macdonalds sequence) nor does he particularly mean anything, but we know so much about this man. and for what.

his nickname is teddy, cloke for cokehead reasons calls him t

he's curly haired for some reason, a thing he apparently shares with bunny

he "lives with his in laws" and doesn't seem to have a job. he's the least probable for bunny to reach at, cloke muses. said in laws probably live in boston since he and wife seem to be fans of the red sox, but could also be random

his wife has the same name as his sister in law, and is a lawyer like his older brother

he didnt cry at the funeral, just holds his composure soberly

he is the father of the baby that richard is so concerned about, AND the "Uncle Bunny called me a bastard" kid

he and his wife are told to be "fighting constantly" which about indicates the sort of type of lady these men pick for themselves lmao

it seems random that compared to the rest this description seems so vivid. because it's not so much about side-quest teddy corcoran, it's very much an actual gaze into what bunny's life would have been like.

i dont think this was all thought out for the sake of being thought out and to fill words on pages, but to directly contradict what richard is directly telling us about hugh corcoran, a successful attorney at the biggest law firm in the world, being the one most likely. which is more likely, that bunny would somehow be shrewed enough to succeed at anything, or that he'll rot with some bitchy woman richard judges as a bad mother and live off her wallet in her mom's basement and have 2.5 rude children?

richard doesn't need to tell us, but ted is probably bunny's biggest fear but his likely future had it all been normal and no murders

[deathbecomesthem]

Eddie Munson x gn!reader - Reader is chronically ill with Crohn's Disease

Warning: This portrays a Crohn's Disease flare, and what that entails. It is unpleasant, and if that's not something you want to read about, simply do not.

A/N: Not having a great day, reuploading this for myself and anyone else that might need it.

--

"Hey Babe," his voice is as soft as the knuckles rapping at the bathroom door, "I've got some Gatorade for you."

When you don't respond, he cracks the door open and sets the purple bottle on the sink. His eyes are averted, and he keeps his head in the hallway. These are the things he must do, or you'll make him leave. He's on thin ice even risking the drop off of the electrolyte rich drink, but you've been in there for 2 hours.

You're exhausted, head resting on the cool tile of the bathroom wall while cold sweat drips down your neck and onto your chest. You need to sleep, but the cramps haven't stopped yet, and you're afraid you won't have the strength to make it back to the toilet once you get in the bed. The package of Depends hides under your mattress, you've never told Eddie about them, and you'll never wear one if he's staying over. It would be better if he would leave, but you know he's too worried to go.

"Eddie." It's a whisper that takes all of your strength to get out. You hope he can hear you. You need to risk the embarrassment and get into your bed.

"Babe?" He heard you. You don't know it, but he's been standing with his ear practically pressed to the door for an hour. He's seen you feel unwell before, but nothing like this.

When you told him about your diagnosis, he immediately started reading. You'd been dating for a while, and he had no idea you were sick. He had no idea that you had to get infusions. He had no idea that you took so many different pills every day just to maintain a level of normal that most people never thought about. He was fascinated, terrified, and heartbroken.

"Please help me." You weren't sure that the words actually left your lips until you felt his arms around your bare waist. He heaved you up, he cleaned you off, and he walked you into your bedroom.

"Lay down, I'm gonna get you ready for bed." You lay only in your underwear, and you're shaking like a leaf. A chill runs deep through you, and into your bones. He's lain you on the comforter, and you begin to quietly sob when you realize what he's doing. He's reaching under your bed, and feeling around for the package you thought he didn't know about.

He quietly shushes you as he helps you dress in the protective barrier while you feel weak and embarrassed. Sad and helpless. Soft flannel pajamas are put over your skin, and he has you under your warm blankets in a protective cocoon. His big hands stroke at your forehead, brushing hair stuck there by the cold sweat, and he wipes away at your tear stained cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie. I'm so disgusting." You don't even have the strength to open your eyes, you're bone weary and ready to sleep. It's the only thing that will make you feel better; rest and hope that when you wake up it won't be in a puddle of your own mess, but with at least a little more control over your body.

"Never be sorry for this. It's a part of who you are, and I am here for all of it." Eddie kisses your cold forehead and leaves the room as you drift off. When you wake, you find that he never left your apartment, but slept next to you. Not with his arms holding you tight, but with one hand resting on your lower abdomen as if to try to calm the raging storm within. Water, gatorade, crackers, and immodium are all sitting on your nightstand for you.

You feel held and less alone with this man, and his understanding and compassion.

[hvly]

as a fellow virgin male enthusiast, who are thee virgins of each fandom ur in??

— ⋆｡˚｡⋆ ｡˚ 𓆩𖥔𓆪 ˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆ —

sᴘᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ : ooooh, ive never really given any deep thought to who takes the virgin crown before. let’s dive in !

𓆩𖥔𓆪 — disclaimer ! these are just my opinions. if you disagree, cool. don't really care to hear it but let's be civilized and cordial.

Chainsaw Man - Obvious Answer

i know. you know. we all know who it is. do you think I should explain why? no. we all know I don't so we're gonna move on.

Demon Slayer - Himejima Gyomei

I’ll be honest, I was torn between Gyomei and Giyuu, but ultimately, Mr. Stone is taking the cake on this one. Now listen, I know we’re all enamored and absolutely riveted by the man's sheer size, but we have to be honest with ourselves (even if it hurts). And it’s not because he’s a sensitive soul and he cries over grass getting cut, but because he’s just a pious man imo. I truly believe that intercourse of any kind is the absolute last thing on his mind, if it’s there at all. Even if he did have sex, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be for pleasure. 

Haikyuu - Asahi Azumane

i struggled with this one because id have to go school by school and more than one came to mind (maybe I'll do that later just for funsies 🤭) but Asahi is scoring high on my vir-dometer. Asahi seems like the type of guy who would wait until he's in a strong committed relationship before he has sex. Casual sex, one-night stands, and even early into the relationship. Something as intimate and personal as sex shouldn't just be done willy nilly (hehe, willy) and he has to be sure and secure in himself and his partner. What a guy, right?

Jujutsu Kaisen - Kokichi Muta

I feel like he's a virgin just because he's chronically in the friend zone. He just kind of has the misleading aura to him that keeps landing him there, like "Oh, he doesn't seem like the type that wants to be in a relationship/have casual sex. But I enjoy his company so win some lose some." Of course, he doesn't feel like that, but he also won't clear that misconception/misunderstanding up. Sure he'd like to get laid, but not at the expense of how people perceive him. He knows his time will come soon enough, though.

My Hero Academia - Shigaraki Tomura

Now before y'all jump down my gullet and bring up AFO Shiggy, I want to implore you all to be fucking forreal. That boy can barely talk to the people in his league, let alone get someone into his bed. And if he did (by some miraculous act of god), i'm almost positive he'd do one of two things. Sit there confused as to what to do next or he'd cum during foreplay and fall asleep. He's just incredibly, debilitatingly awkward to me and I pity the boy.

Obey Me - Belphegor

Belphie's just lazy, to be completely honest. I can't see him putting in any actual effort to lose his virginity. Sex is a physical activity that, depending on how soft or rough/fast or slow you are, can be quite strenuous. Is 10-20 minutes of physical activity worth like, 4 minutes of afterglow? No. No it isn't. It'd be much better spent sleeping. Or taking a nap. Resting his eyes, if you will. If he ever decides to spare the energy to bone, however, he's not doing any work. Purely spoiled pillow prince.

Tokyo Revengers - Kisaki Tetta

Kisaki is still a virgin just because of how obsessive and delusional he is. There's only one person for him and he's tunnel visioned on making them his and his alone. It's different from waiting for the right one because he knows who the right one is. They just don't know yet. He doesn't have a single moment to waste on some random fling or distract himself from his ultimate goal of making his target officially his.

[britcision]

As promised, part two!

First Chapter:

Part One of this chapter:

————————

So That Just Happened part 2

In the bathroom, Jason turned the hot tap on as high as it’d go and stood over the sink, breathing in the steam. He just… he just needed to clear his head. Get his thoughts straight.

Sleep for the next six fucking weeks and make Pitty someone else’s problem, ideally.

The weight of Frostbite’s gift sat heavy in his pants pocket and he pulled the case out, shaking a single glowing ice chip into his hand. The rising temperature of the bathroom didn’t affect it at all, which didn’t surprise Jason.

He considered putting it under the stream of hot water but didn’t bother.

Frostbite said not to use them too much, or get too dependent on them. On the other hand, fuck today. So much.

He crushed the shard in his hand and shoved the pieces into his mouth. This time it tasted like ozone and limes, and stung the inside of his mouth. In a good way, though.

The rush of energy was the same, and Jason would swear he could feel his frayed edges slowly closing over. Not a real substitute for food or sleep, but sure as hell beat coffee.

He had a couple dozen more ice chips, which he tucked away in the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. The mirror wasn’t supposed to have a cabinet, but it had been easy enough to make one, and so far none of his siblings had found it yet… if they even found this apartment.

(None of them would have been able to resist commenting on the collage he’d made across the back wall of their most “interesting” family photos. Or the little batburger figurines of each of their alter-egos.

Jason had made sure he got the worst ones on the market, and knew their exact positions. If a single one shifted, he’d know.)

It was on the outer edge of Crime Alley, far from the heart his family all expected him to hole up in, and the rest of the building was a completely unremarkable old library which had been abandoned before Jason was born.

Getting himself a well secured home had been easy to slip into the renovation plans; he’d had Bruce “buy” the building through Jason’s funds to start restoring it, keeping it well removed from Red Hood’s name. It was the first project he planned to put his own name on, now that he was officially alive again.

The Catherine Todd Memorial Library.

The building itself wasn’t open yet, the main part of it still being remodelled, but the needle drop off and exchange was already running from the front entrance.

This was home, as much as anywhere ever was. More than anywhere had ever been since Wayne Manor.

Jason tensed against the anger, but nothing rose this time. The ecto-ice had given him a flood of energy, the same almost static clarity, but he still felt drained. Like there was no anger left in him.

It would have been nice if it felt good.

The steam had fogged the mirror now, collecting in the air even against the bathroom’s fan. Shutting the tap off, Jason closed his eyes and sucked in a few more deep, fortifying breaths.

Maybe the ecto-ice had been a mistake. All he wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep, but he wouldn’t be able to for at least a few hours now.

Patrol was out of the question. His body may be revitalized and humming with energy, but his head wasn’t in the game. Even Lady Gotham’s embrace couldn’t pull his scattered thoughts together.

What he needed was some mindless TV, some stupidly indulgent junk food, and a blanket. He’d heard… well, things about the new Sex and the City spinoff. Not exactly good things, but things.

Carrie Bradshaw’s not-problems could be the perfect backdrop to a night in.

Alfred would probably send him cookies if he asked. This being an emergency and all. Although… it wasn’t like they could explain the nature of the emergency without the whole ghost reveal.

… Probably still worth a try though.

His Red Hood phone was still at the safe house he’d slept in, but at least one of his spares for his civilian life should be in the apartment somewhere.

The steam had mostly cleared too, leaving the mirror only slightly foggy around the edges. Jason gave it a careful wipe down out of habit; dots on the mirror didn’t usually bother him, but… he’d put Catherine’s name on the building. He wanted to keep everything in it nice.

(Which was why a lot of stuff was unused.)

It wasn’t until he opened the door that he realized he really hadn’t said anything to Danny before disappearing.

Would he have left? Fuck, that’d be the obvious choice, wouldn’t it? Getting dropped off just inside a stranger’s door, and then they just walk away from you into the bathroom.

Shit, Danny had probably left. That… Jason didn’t know how to feel about that, and the empty hall only confirmed his suspicions.

On the one hand, he really wasn’t up to more talking. He didn’t even want to think about everything that had happened today, and especially not whatever the hell was lose in his city, trying to feed his rage. He couldn’t handle one more gentle reassurance that it was okay to be angry.

On the other hand, he really, really didn’t want to be alone. The noise from the TV and the snacks would cut it in a pinch, but the only thing he actually wanted right now was company. Quiet, nonjudgemental company.

He hadn’t told any of the bats about this safe house. Not even Bruce’s contractors knew he’d snuck it in. He’d wanted it to be safe from them and from everyone else, and now he could keep his fucking secrets at the cost of being alone.

A little heavy handed as a metaphor.

… Fuck, Alfred couldn’t even bring him cookies without knowing where he was.

He turned away from the hall and made for the bedroom to grab the spare phone, though he wasn’t sure who he’d message anymore. Just as he was debating the merits of messaging Cass and getting her to do him a delivery, a noise from the kitchen caught his attention. Hope rose, slowly and uncertainly. Had Danny not left?

… Why was Danny in his kitchen, when he was a self professed fire hazard?

Caution and concern flaring right alongside that hope, Jason backtracked and hurried to the kitchen.

**

There were not enough dirty dishes.

There was like, a mug, a coffee pot, and two plates. Really, Danny should have been done in minutes and fidgeting for something else to do.

But then he’d been looking for where to put the plates away, and he’d found a really impressive spice cabinet. Right next to the stovetop, made sense he guessed, though personally he preferred to keep the damn plates where they’d be used.

He’d perused a couple of labels on the little jars, mildly amused by how many he absolutely could not even guess at. What the fuck was “marjoram”? Or “zataar”?

So the logical thing to do had been open the jars for a sniff.

All well and good. He didn’t recognize most of the smells either, and couldn’t imagine why you’d put almost half of them in any kind of food, but some of them smelled really good.

But then he’d found the garlic powder.

Danny did not cook, as a rule. Sam cooked, mostly from spite, and she always used fresh smashed garlic. Danny’s youtuber chefs mostly said the jarred chopped stuff was fine, but what the fuck was garlic powder?

And what garlic powder was, was pungent. Really, really strongly scented, and super light. Just opening the jar had puffed up a cloud of the stuff, and Danny had been about to sniff it anyway and took a bigger huff than he intended.

And then he’d sneezed.

And now Jason’s entire kitchen was dusted in garlic powder, including the dishes he’d just washed and left on the counter while he found their homes.

So Danny panicked.

Trying to dust the garlic powder off the counters with his hands only got more of it into the air, and he wasn’t falling for that fucking trap again, no sir. He went ghost again and stopped fucking breathing is what he did, then grabbed a garlic covered towel and tried to wipe the powder into a pile.

No dice.

But Danny was a professional superhero. He calmed himself down. He stopped panicking. He went looking for a dustpan and brush like a sensible adult.

And then he heard the bathroom door open, froze like a deer in the headlights, and reflexively jerked straight off the floor.

Because right, he had fucking ghost powers.

At least he already hadn’t been breathing. Luckily, Jason seemed to need something from the other side of the apartment since his footsteps pretty much immediately moved away, and Danny let out another relieved breath.

He could still fix this. This would be fine. He could telekinetically pick up all the garlic dust, and throw it in the trash because a lot was on the floor and the rest was on him and also Every Other Surface On Earth, and buy Jason more tomorrow.

Before Jason came back from wherever else he was going and realized Danny was a fucking menace. Focusing hard, Danny let his aura suffuse the room and focused on the garlic powder. Willed it to lift off whatever it was touching, and come towards him.

Of course, some of it was now on the clean dishes, and in the mug. Which fell over as Danny pulled its powder coating away.

Jason’s footsteps immediately stopped. And then began hurrying towards him.

And maybe Danny panicked again, just a tiny bit, but the good news was he did not ice over the whole kitchen! He’d grown so much since Ghost Puberty Part 2 Electric Boogaloo! He was totally in control!

He just iced the dishes to the counter and froze the floating garlic powder, which was why Jason appeared in the doorway to see Danny floating like a fucking dumbass in the middle of his kitchen, surrounded by sparkling ice crystals.

Danny raised both hands immediately.

“I can explain.”

**

So the thing about Spiderheck. The really big pain in the ass thing. Was that every round was super unpredictable, even when you weren’t playing with superheroes trying to adapt their actual abilities to spider bodies.

There really was no way to know what would be a long or short round.

Tucker had tried a couple more times to “fall” early on, only to be promptly followed by one or both of his fellow competitors.

The good news was, they were at least all tied up for now, so he’d gotten more time without anyone asking questions. The bad news was, it was match point. Whoever took this next one, if they didn’t all tie, it would be time for another set.

Aaaaand Conner and Tim were still having fun, and insisted they were just warming up, but Tucker was sweating anyway. He didn’t even know spiders could sweat.

Ancients, had he actually fucked up using his powers for the first time in years when he was trying to show off for Red Robin and Superboy?

He was going to look like a fucking newb. An absolute amateur.

And that was assuming that no one had come looking for them and noticed the empty room and still going game on the TV. Would Batman think he’d kidnapped Red Robin?

Who was Tucker kidding, he totally would. Bruce was paranoid as hell, and while he mostly seemed to be aiming it at Danny, that was probably because he hadn’t realized Tucker was liminal. Did the GIW even know about liminals? There probably wasn’t much documentation for him to freak himself out about with.

Of course, in this case he wouldn’t be wrong. Tim would be trapped. It’d just be because Tucker was a dumbass, not a malicious force. At least Tim and Conner would almost definitely believe him.

Aaaand he’d never live it down. It was only a matter of time before they both noticed he wasn’t really trying to win anymore too. He’d kept up, but that was mostly by accident. He just had a lot of practice being inside the game levels.

A lot of them could kill all the players on their own, no PVP required.

He felt like an absolute caveman when the answer finally came to him, and it wasn’t even his own idea.

Because the last level had been one of those “kill all the players” levels, and all three of them had managed to be thrown into lava close enough that the computer didn’t count a winner.

Tim and Conner groaned loudly before bursting out laughing, because of course that was what happened at their dramatic finale, and then as they’d spawned in again Tim turned to Tucker.

“Hey, can you pause before we get into this one? I just wanna catch my breath a second.”

Which, for a nanosecond, felt like the absolute end of the world, because he didn’t have his controller buttons. Because he was a dumbass.

Luckily, it also snapped him back to his senses, and reminded him of the very first time he’d put Sam and Danny into a game with him. They’d made the same mistake, not leaving anyone their actual console controls, and Danny had begun trying to actually physically break them out before Tucker worked it out.

They were his fucking powers. He could always pause them, whatever they were doing; all he had to do was close his eyes and blank out for like, a minute.

He’d been collapsing in despair that first time, and Sam had kicked him over, sat on him, and demanded he take a nap, and then they were all back in their bodies like nothing had happened.

Keeping them inside the game was the part that was difficult; it was an act of focus, and sure it felt automatic at this point because he did this all the time now, but it was still something he had to actively do. Sure, technically, he wouldn’t be controlling the game from the inside, but they’d be back in their fucking bodies in the real world.

Where the actual console controls were. And then he could reload them in, and not forget his overrides this time, and everything would be fine.

Luckily, while his brain was techno-linked, he was processing in computer-time, not people-time. There was barely a pause after Tim asked the question and the answer came, tension leaving his body so quickly he almost sagged.

He even sounded a little giddily relieved to his own ears as he answered, laughing and already shutting his eyes.

“Well, kinda. Let me just pop us back out, we should probably check the time too. Hang on.”

Luckily, this stage did not seem to have any instant death traps. Tim and Conner fucked around with the crates and the platforms for a couple of seconds while Tucker reached inside, deliberately pulling his disconnect instead of waiting, and then they were all back on the couch, controllers in hand.

He’d never been so happy to see his own hands. Or the Start button, which he promptly hit to pause all three spiders before Tim and Conner’s could swing to their deaths. Even if that would give him the win.

Tim and Conner shifted beside him, getting used to their bodies again. Tucker took the lead there, setting his controller down and stretching his arms up behind his head, the phantom sensations of extra limbs already beginning to fade.

“It stops feeling weird pretty fast, but it helps if you move around,” he explained brightly, still high on that buzz of relief.

Conner made a noise of agreement, standing and stretching his arms over his head, which made his shirt ride up. Tucker had the good sense to turn away quickly, before he got hypnotized.

Not quickly enough that Tim didn’t notice, but Tim Drake-Wayne remained the very coolest person on planet Earth and didn’t say anything. He just grinned knowingly at Tucker and rolled his shoulders, stretching out his neck.

“Okay, that was really cool. Not even a little bit the same, but really cool.”

Tucker grinned back, sheepish but still just happy he didn’t get caught.

“Yeah, there’s always the skill barrier where you can’t do the button combos, but I still feel like it helps? Y’know, understanding how the characters move and stuff.”

“I’m just glad you picked up the TTK that fast,” Conner cut in with a laugh, now bending down to touch his toes, blessedly while facing them.

Tucker swelled with pride.

“I mean, it wasn’t all that complicated. You explained it really well,” he said totally calmly, totally cool, definitely not fawning over the actual demigod in the room.

He didn’t exactly get why Conner shot Tim an entirely triumphant grin or why Tim rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t gonna worry about that. Tonight, he was batting a thousand.

He’d be tired getting back to class tomorrow, and he couldn’t exactly tell his classmates he’d been hanging out with Tim Drake-Wayne and being carried home by actual Superboy, but this was still the best week of his life. And Tim had already been talking about getting him an internship.

His life really could not be finer.

**

Jason took the mess well. Probably because Danny had a) already been working on it and b) panicked like a startled duckling and explained at a mile a minute, getting the order of events completely wrong at least twice.

Having the garlic powder iced over definitely helped the cleanup too. Jason grabbed a garbage bag, Danny floated what was in the air in, and they both took damp cloths to hunt down any stray garlic powder hiding in crevices.

Danny rewashed the dishes, but Jason dried them with a fresh towel and showed him where everything was. All in all, it was a blissfully domestic moment after a genuinely fucked day.

He could feel an unasked question waiting on the back of Jason’s tongue while they cleaned up, the shape of anticipation and something that wasn’t exactly fear, or even anxiety, just a low grade avoidance. Danny didn’t push it.

That seemed like the right answer too, because when they’d finished and stared at each other awkwardly for a long moment, Jason sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Look, I know you’ve got school tomorrow. If you’ve gotta head out…” he trailed off, resigned-tired filling his aura.

Danny raised both hands to cut him off.

“Hey. I can fly across this city in like, fifteen minutes. It’s not even half eleven yet, so if you want some company I’ve got nowhere else to be. We can talk about whatever, play some more MarioKart, or I can just make you some cocoa and go if you need space?”

Jason didn’t physically sag with relief, but that was probably because he’d already been holding himself carefully to hide the tension. Didn’t matter, because everything else about him screamed it as he raised an eyebrow at Danny, glancing around his kitchen.

“I’m not leaving you alone in here again until you’re Alfred-certified,” he declared sarcastically, and Danny grinned back.

“Ah, so never again. Good to know. It’s probably for the best, I’m a lousy cook for anything I don’t have to wrestle to the ground.” Not that he was any better at cooking it after he’d won the fight; he was just pretty good at the fighting part.

Jason’s eyebrow twitched and then he chuckled, shaking his head and pointing out of the kitchen.

“Tell you what, I’ll make you some cocoa while you go turn the TV on. Remote’s on the end table.”

That sounded like an invitation to stay to Danny! So he hadn’t totally fucked by not booking it out of Jason’s haunt at top speed; good to know.

And maybe he did physically sag with relief a little, because expressing your emotions was cool actually and everyone should totally be doing it more. And it was more fun in ghost form; he actually sunk til his feet almost touched the ground.

Didn’t go all the way when he remembered he was still in his boots. Jason’s other apartments had been pretty well lived in although still generally tidy, but this one was almost pristine. Whether it was new or he was just more careful here, Danny could take a hint.

He gestured quickly at his body while Jason pulled a cartoon of milk from the giant, gleaming blue-black fridge that looked mostly empty.

“Sure, uh… mind if I change?”

Jason blinked, which was fair since Danny had been a ghost for the past couple hours, then nodded.

“Not at all. There’s also some sweatpants and stuff in the bedroom if you wanna get more comfortable, but I don’t have as much of Tim or Dick’s stuff here so you might be stuck in mine,” he added a little shyly, and Danny’s grin widened as he remembered his new favourite shirt.

“You have five minutes to hide any other great soup shirts before I take you up on that,” he teased and Jason grinned back.

“Nah, go for it. I’ll only be a little longer than that with the cocoa though, so don’t do too much snooping around.” It didn’t sound like an actual warning, but he’d also already turned back to what he was doing… which already looked way too complicated.

He had a saucepan for crying out loud. Like Danny couldn’t see the electric kettle and fancy coffee machine. Tempted to stick around to watch just for curiosity, Danny floated back to the front door to change back and drop off his shoes and coat instead.

And hesitated.

Jason had given him permission to go to the bedroom. Change out of his jeans and jacket. He didn’t actually need to; the jeans were pretty comfy, well worn in, but they did have some built up salt, slush, and yuck from walking and driving around Gotham’s streets around the ends.

It was possible the suggestion had been more for the sake of Jason’s couch than Danny’s comfort.

He could just go intangible and let the dirt fall through, but that’d leave a pile which while technically being more contained would still be more mess. And sometimes it was hard to tell what was dirt and what was pants, since they weren’t exactly “his” either way.

He could just do laundry when he got home.

Luckily the bedroom door was open, so Danny didn’t have to poke into any of the other doors from the hall. Just like at his other apartment, there was indeed a separate set of six drawers with Jason’s siblings name on each drawer.

Well, “Dickhead”, “Timbo”, “The Purple One”, “Cass”, “Demon Brat”, and “Best Sibling”. Snickering to himself, Danny considered taking a picture. Or asking Duke what he’d done to be “Best Sibling”.

Unlike the other apartment, each drawer was mostly empty though. Just a pair of sweatpants about the right size, a hoodie, and a shirt that Jason had definitely assigned rather than getting one of theirs. Although Danny didn’t doubt Dick would own a Nightwing hoodie in the least.

The My Little Pony shirt for Damian was… well, Danny didn’t know him well enough to say.

With the clothes that might actually fit located (and honestly Cass’s were probably actually his best bet), Danny snooped through a couple other drawers to see if Jason did have any other fun shirts to steal.

There was actually depressingly little; Jason had plenty of clothes here, just like the other apartments, but all of them were… respectable. Plain. Block colours, simple patterns, normal people clothing.

Danny was just about to give up when he popped open the bottom drawer and stared in awe.

Jason’s regular wardrobe (from Danny’s admittedly limited experience) was kinda basic; plain shirt, sexy jacket, plain pants. Extra sweaters given the weather, but he did also have a pretty good collection of graphic tees with various swearwords usually featured boldly.

Where what had to be the complete collection of every Wonder Woman shirt ever made fit in, Danny wasn’t going to try and guess, but he knew good taste when he saw it.

Unfortunately, if he stole one of those, Jason was probably gonna want it back. Most of them were clearly worn, and just as clearly carefully cleaned to keep them nice. Danny wasn’t good at keeping things nice.

Somewhat reluctantly, he shuffled back to the siblings’ dresser and stole Cass’s hot pink paw print sweats, Steph’s 1000% bootlegged Sex In The City misprint shirt with the purple sparkle dildos painted over the girls, and the Nightwing hoodie. Never let it be said he could put together an outfit.

Fingering the shirt, he made his way back out and to the open plan lounge, his own clothes tossed carefully onto his shoes by the door. Jason had told him to put the TV on… and the worst he could do was say no.

Pulling up the streaming services, Danny went looking for And Just Like That. Mostly for curiosity’s sake, to be honest. He could probably sneak a trailer before Jason got back, just as a sample.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Jason appeared just as Danny found the right service, two steaming mugs of incredible smelling cocoa topped with a mass of whipped cream in his hands and a large bowl of popcorn, skittles, and smarties in his other arm.

Danny couldn’t even complain about not getting to have nice things, because if that wasn’t the epitome of a fantasy walking into the room he didn’t know what was. Hitting pause quickly, he hopped up to take the bowl for purely altruistic reasons.

Definitely not for an early handful, no matter how Jason raised his eyebrows at him. The handful was Danny’s reward for being a good citizen.

“Hey, that smells fantastic! Your family is gonna ruin me for shitty cafe hot chocolate,” he teased through a mouthful of candy.

Jason rolled his eyes but smiled, switching both mugs to one hand to set a trio of coasters on the coffee table. Danny reluctantly relinquished the bowl to the third if only to grab his cocoa and take a sip as Jason sniffed.

“Hot chocolate is to cocoa what instant coffee is to fresh,” he said snootily, like those were words that meant anything. Danny just stared at him, whipped cream on his nose purely for comedic effect.

Until Jason leaned in and wiped it away with his thumb, and Danny’s brain shut down. Unfortunate, since Jason started talking.

“So, uh… you a Sex and the City fan?”

“Huh?” Danny kept staring, pretty sure words had meanings until Jason jerked his thumb in the direction of the TV (which was huge and gorgeous because of course it was. This was the rich son of a bitch apartment Danny would expect of… okay, not a Wayne, it was still way below that level of fancy, but at least someone making a good chunk of change).

Then he shook himself out of it, grinning.

“Oh! No, never seen any.”

Jason cocked his head, eyebrow raised again.

“Then why…”

Danny shrugged, settling himself comfortably back into the couch. He was going to sound like a crazy person anyway, he might as well be comfortable.

“I listen to The Worst Idea Of All Time on my way to classes. And when I’m welding. It’s a couple of guys from New Zealand who watched Sex and the City 2 every week for a year, and a bunch of other stuff. Like, uh… Grown Ups 2, We Are Your Friends, oh and the first Sex and the City movie.”

And, sure enough, Jason looked appropriately baffled.

“What, all at once?”

“Nah, different years. They never did the actual show, but they’re doing commentary on all of the episodes of And Just Like That now that they’re out since they did both movies, which were after the show. Why, did you watch the actual show?”

Jason nodded slowly, and Danny snickered.

“The show’s not canon for the Worst Idea boys. Brady the Rat King is though.” And yeah, he probably could be explaining this more like a sane and reasonable person, but that just made the podcast sound worse.

This time it was Jason who raised both hands, even relinquishing his cocoa to do it.

“There are too many questions, so I’m just gonna start with “why?”” He was already smiling though, so Danny was going to take that as a good sign.

He shrugged cheerfully.

“Schadenfreude is the leading theory from the boys, and to be fair it is fun watching them suffer through the worst movies they can find. They’re both professional comedians though so it is actually really funny, and they’re really positive. Every watch has to have a shining light, which is something you actually liked about the movie that week. I did that with one of my lecturers last semester, a real blowhard, and it helped. Mostly it’s just the aural equivalent of comfort food; nothing challenging, no thought required, just two good soft boys making up crazy stories about movies every week.”

Jason was actually listening, pursing his lips as he considered what Danny was saying. Privately, Danny suspected having actually watched Sex and the City might work against him… although he might have been dead when at least one of the movies came out.

Finally, Jason sighed.

“So you’ve just watched the movies, and none of the show?” He asked, in a tone which told Danny exactly what he thought of the movies. So he might like the podcast after all.

Danny grinned and grabbed another handful of popcorn.

“Nah. They actively discourage us from watching them, even when they do directors commentary. And Just Like That isn’t getting the full season treatment though, so I kinda wanted to take a look just to see the outfits.” A stroke of inspiration struck him, and Danny dropped some of the popcorn into his cocoa.

Getting it back out again was not as easy as he’d have liked, but he got two pieces that were heavenly and was content to let the third wallow under the whipped cream where it had retreated.

Jason totally was not laughing at him, because he was a gentleman. It was the brilliance of Danny’s answers that had him smiling like that, for sure. And when he was sure he had Danny’s attention again, he pointed at him.

“Okay, we’ll watch And Just Like That tonight. But you have to come over and watch the original series at some point too,” he added quickly.

Danny pouted but considered it. He didn’t even know how many seasons there had been. Time for a counter offer.

“Only if you try the podcast.” Which was a totally reasonable offer and absolutely no reason for Jason to make that face as he nodded.

“Fine. I’ll give it a shot on my way to work. Happy?”

“Deeeeee-lighted,” Danny cackled, holding out a hand to shake. Which Jason obligingly shook, then nodded to the couch.

“No spoilers, okay? Unless there’s good hats. I’m just going to run and change.”

He even came back bearing a fuzzy throw from the end of the bed, which he dropped on Danny’s head and imperilled his precious cocoa. It was mostly empty by then though, and then Jason even refilled it for him, so Danny graciously gave him a royal pardon.

Jason graciously told him to shove it up his ass and settled in, and Danny swiped the remote for his impertinence. Long day now finally behind them, it was looking to be a much better night.

**

Taking a quick glance at both his League communicator and both of his phones, Bruce dismissed about thirty messages from Harley. He might have liked to talk to her earlier, and probably would actually message her back to talk later.

It had only been for a matter of minutes, but even a second of believing that Jason had died again… no. He knew he hadn’t handled it well. If he actually slept tonight, he had no doubt it would be even worse than usual, and plagued by nightmares.

Fortunately for him, he had a new case to distract himself with… or rather, a new direction for his existing case.

Diana was right; she usually was, in matters of the heart. He had to trust Jason, and trust that Jason knew what he was doing with this business in the Infinite Realms.

A year ago, Jason likely wouldn’t even have involved Bruce in the conversation, if it happened at all; he’d have dropped the evidence on Dick or Duke, or just gone around trying to blow up a rogue government agency on his own. That he had brought this to Bruce showed a lot of progress in their relationship. It gave him a reason to hope.

He would have to try and reward the trust Jason had shown in him, rather than punishing it. A proper apology, just between them… if Jason would speak to him.

A few days to give Jason time to calm down would probably help. And, if he was truthful, for Bruce to put his concerns to bed.

He may have been… hasty in leaping to conclusions about Danny Fenton. It wasn’t like him to become so entrenched in an opinion without checking it from at least a dozen more angles; the Mansons and Vlad Masters could only know so much.

Diana had been right again; he had to get to know Danny, to put his fears to rest. He trusted…

Okay. When it came down to it, he didn’t exactly trust his children not to lie to him about the dangers of a potential friend. There’d been one too many secrets-turned-disasters. But he could trust them to fact check and rat each other out if they truly believed their siblings were making a serious mistake.

For the joy of an “I told you so”, if nothing else.

Cass’s first impressions in her debrief had been illuminating. A little more discussion with her and perhaps Steph, their views were often varied enough that between them a very comprehensive picture could be built.

Talking to Danny himself again… Bruce knew himself well enough to know that wasn’t a good idea yet. It would have to happen eventually; he suspected he also owed Danny an apology for his behaviour, although no one else had mentioned it. Which was perhaps another sign of how badly he’d failed Jason.

No, he had to level his opinions on Danny first, make sure he could keep a clear head. Returning to the cave, he made his way directly to the batcomputer and sank into its familiar embrace.

Tim likely hadn’t had time to make the updates that would allow them to read through Amity Park’s data directly, but Tucker Foley had provided them with a respectable amount of downloaded data. Bruce could begin his researches there, and make some travel arrangements as well.

If he couldn’t get into Amity Park digitally, physically would have to do. Likely as Brucie Wayne rather than Batman, although repairing the town’s relationship to the Justice League was a worthy goal while he was there. And while people wouldn’t be as open to giving him information about Danny face to face, he could pick up some native tech and make his own adjustments. That should let him get past their unique protections.

And a better look at these ghosts, and an understanding of what exactly the Justice League Dark were so concerned about.

Hands pausing on the keys for a moment, Bruce briefly considered messaging Constantine again, or Zatanna. He should at least inform them that he was planning to go to Amity Park in person.

After a moment’s consideration, he sent a brief message to Zatanna. As unprofessional as it might be, Bruce knew himself well enough to know he just wasn’t up to spending any more time with Constantine at the moment.

Zatanna could brief him on any necessary etiquette just as well, with far less dramatics. A little space between himself and Constantine could only help as well. Honestly, a few days away from Gotham and all of his current headaches could only be a good thing.

Harley might even be proud of him.

——————

So here we have it! Also, by the way, that nexus thing is actually canon in the DC multiverse, and it is so much fun

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Phantom Grin

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Bruce Wayne visits his son's grave on the night of his resurrection. Will it change Jason's fate, or is it all simply inevitable?

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd is Disabled, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Resurrected Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Get Along

Chapter One: Moonlight Promise

It'd been nearly ten months since the night Jason dug himself out of his own grave. Bruce sat by Jason's bedside, reading to him. Most days, Bruce read to him. When some of Jason's broken bones healed up, Bruce would hold his hand. He tried not to think too hard about the night it happened. The thought of Jason's broken body reaching out to him from the grave made his stomach turn. "I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way," Bruce read in a soft voice. Bruce listened carefully to the rhythm of the machines, making sure Jason's vitals were in order. Jason's heart rate often slowed depending on what Bruce read to him. He could tell that Jason loved poetry, or at least he thought Jason did.

Bruce squeezed Jason's hand gently. "Jason, I have to go earlier today," Bruce whispered, "But we'll finish The Highwayman when I come back. And I'll tell you about Clark's visit... Maybe when I come back, you can—." Bruce's phone rang, and he sighed. "Jason, I promise I'll make things up to you." He stood up and rested a gentle hand on Jason's forehead.

His phone continued to ring, and Jason opened his eyes. Bruce froze. "Jason?" he asked. Jason kept his eyes open for a few breaths before closing them once more. Bruce sat back down and brushed a knuckle against Jason's cheek. "Attaboy," Bruce whispered gently.

Bruce's phone rang again. "I'm not going anywhere... I'm just gonna answer this," Bruce whispered.

He answered the phone, and Dick immediately started apologizing. "I know you asked me not to call—."

"He opened his eyes... Just for a second," Bruce interrupted.

Dick didn't reply immediately. Instead, he made a soft noise. "Do you-. Did it seem like—?" Dick couldn't find the words.

Bruce sat with the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He squeezed Jason's hand. "He's never done it before. He opened his eyes and—. It was like he was trying to wake up," Bruce whispered, "Do you want to speak to him?"

Dick took a deep breath. "Put me on speaker," Dick whispered.

"Jason, I'm putting Dick on speaker," Bruce whispered. He let go of Jason's hand and set the phone on Jason's bedside.

"Good morning, Jason," Dick whispered, "I'm gonna come and see you pretty soon. I might get you something new to listen to. I know your birthday's coming up in August." Jason lay there, his eyes closed, and Bruce moved Jason's bangs out of his face. He didn't want to cut Jason's hair, not yet. In the months since Jason's resurrection, his height and hair were the only things that changed. It was the only way he could cope with the thought of Jason's condition.

Bruce stayed for an hour more and left in time for sundown. He'd be back later that night, but not as Bruce Wayne. Bruce always came at night in the middle of his patrol to make sure Jason didn't suddenly awaken in the night. He even hid motion sensors around Jason's hospital bed so that he'd know the comings and goings of the nurses. Leaving Jason was always hard. In the days following the incident where Jason first opened his eyes, Bruce started to see more and more movement in Jason. Sometimes Jason would open his eyes, other times, Jason would involuntarily grin when Bruce would touch his face. By the end of the year, Jason started responding to simple commands.

One afternoon, Bruce sat in the manor, eating dinner and talking to Dick. "He's gonna wake up any day now," Bruce whispered.

"And what are you gonna do about Tim?" Dick asked.

"Tim can have whatever he wants. He can be whatever he wants... Once Jason's able to come home," Bruce paused for a moment, "Jason'll need my full attention." He picked over his dinner.

Dick looked at him and furrowed his brows. "Gotham needs Batman—."

"And Jason needs me," Bruce raised his voice, "Had I been Bruce more often with Jason, maybe he wouldn't have died in the first place. I need to be there for him. I need to take care of—."

"And I'm not saying you're wrong, but from what I'm hearing in your voice, it sounds like you're calling it quits," Dick interrupted.

"Not permanently. I'm just prioritizing Jason for once," Bruce whispered, "Don't you think he deserves to be put first for once?"

Dick froze. He knew Bruce loved Jason, but he never thought that Bruce would ever set aside his priorities for anything or anyone. "I'm not judging you. I know you love Jason. I love Jason too... I just-. You don't have to do this alone. We're a family, and we're all willing to help in whatever way we can," Dick reassured him, "Maybe it's time you stop thinking you can do all this alone. Don't you think?"

"I can't let him down this time. I can't," Bruce whispered as he took a sip of water. "I should go check on him again soon."

"How many hours would you say you spend at the hospital?" Dick asked.

"Well, since he's gone from comatose to being in a vegetative state... Three hours in the daytime, on and off for two hours at night," Bruce replied. Dick tapped his fingertips on the table. "Yes, I'm thinking about going right now. You should think about coming with me."

Dick nodded. "I'll come along tomorrow before I leave," Dick replied, "No use in asking if you're staying for dessert, huh?" Bruce got up and took his plate to the kitchen.

Bruce's phone beeped, and he checked his phone. "I gotta go to the hospital—."

"What's wrong?" Dick asked.

"He's awake," Bruce replied as he rushed past Dick to the car. Dick followed closely behind.

"Is he okay?" Dick asked. Bruce handed Dick his phone, and when Dick saw what was going on, he pushed his hair back in distress. "Okay, I'm sorry for saying you were crazy for installing the motion sensor cameras."

[mzminola]

Reading oodles of blogs' Percy Weasley tags and came across the idea of Percy becoming a werewolf sometime during the canon plot, and okay, I see the drama and emotional arc potential...

But as soon as I saw "werewolf Percy" my brain immediately leapt to him getting bitten as a kid.

We know Voldemort sent werewolves after people in the first war, that Percy was around five years old when the war ended, that Arthur worked for the Ministry and was against basically everything Voldemort was about, and that Molly's brothers were in the Order of the Phoenix.

So...yeah, final year of the war, either as outright revenge or fulfilling a threat when coercion failed either against Arthur or the Prewett brothers, V sends a werewolf (probably Greyback) after the Weasley kids, and Percy's the one to get chomped.

This just. Completely changes the family dynamics.

How is Percy gonna keep an eye on the younger kids, when he needs to be separate from everyone every full moon? Does he overcompensate as The Responsible One the rest of the time, or has that role not been pushed on him as hard?

How do Arthur & Molly handle interactions between the kids? Especially rough-housing? Percy's got a magical chronic illness now, a growing collection of scars, and possibly feeling ill in the days/before after the full moon (I can't remember how canon that was). But with all the stigma around werewolves, they're not well understood; how paranoid are all the adults about Percy scratching or biting one of the other kids during normal sibling tussles?

I think it's the extra-canonical materials that said the Lupin family moved a lot to avoid anyone figuring it out, but the Weasley's aren't doing that. They've got an established house with seven kids, they're not packing up to leave, and the Diggory & Lovegoods might be a bit far for a walk, but not by broomflight. Do the Weasleys try to isolate in their little plot of land, to avoid neighbors figuring it out, or do they just become super strict about allowed interactions? Do they make up an illness?

I could see them deciding to be strict about interacting with the Diggorys but lax with the Lovegoods, because if Xenophilius starts claiming the middlest Weasley child is a werewolf, no one believes him.

Dumbledore likely showed up immediately in the aftermath (or as soon as he heard, depending on how well hidden they kept the attack) to give the same offer of education he gave the Remus Lupin.

Alternatively, what if they can't keep it secret, because the Death Eaters told everyone? It's supposed to be a way to keep everyone scared, after all.

And of course the details of how Percy in particular got bit affect things. Was he outside when he wasn't supposed to be? To retrieve a lost toy, to get something from the garden, to fulfil a dare from an older brother? Did one of the adults miss a headcount? Did little five year old Percy throw himself in between a younger sibling and the big scary monster?

I think the most positive thing for everyone involved would be for Dumbledore to convince Lupin (because you know he wouldn't intrude on his own) to befriend the Weasleys. Lupin gets a new support network after his old one catastrophically imploded, Percy gets a role model, and Molly & Arthur get a third adult in this mess.

[campgender]

Hi, my friend has a chronic illness that flares up sometimes and we've been wanting to hang out but it has gotten cancelled a couple times lately bc of her not feeling well enough on the day. I want to ask her how she feels cuz I care abt her a lot and want an update but 1, I don't want her to feel pressured or like I'm asking just to ask can we hang out now, and not bc I care abt how she's feeling (does that make sense? I may be overthinking this) and 2, I genuinely wanna know how she's doing but idk what to say if she responds with her not being better, sometimes u don't feel better and that's ok but I always want to offer comfort somehow or just convey my friendship? but I feel the same everytime and don't want to sound repetitive ?

Any thoughts?

this is really kind of you & it means so much to me that you want to support your friend & are putting so much thought into it! my response is inherently based in my own experience to an extent & everybody’s different, but a lot if not all of this is stuff i’ve heard regularly from other chronically ill people. of course, don’t say anything you don’t mean – if some of this isn’t the case for you, just adapt accordingly :)

i understand worrying about being repetitive but i think that’s totally okay to do! for one thing, it can be difficult to remember things period when you’re ill, especially during a flare, & for another, internalized + societal ableism is a hell of a force. it never hurts to have a reminder that not everyone is trying to force ableist expectations onto you + your friendship & that someone cares about you!

i think you can definitely tell your friend pretty much what you told me! like, “hey, it’s okay if you aren’t feeling up for responding but i just wanted to check on you! not trying to pressure you to hang out or anything, i just care about you & how you’re doing”

honestly the most important + supportive thing people have ever told me is that it’s okay if the answer is “bad.” i’m literally like surprised pikachu meme every time somebody offers to let me vent about having a rough time & then it helps me just to talk about it. it’s really socially unacceptable to talk about chronic pain & a lot of people get frustrated when you’re complaining about the same thing & there’s not really anything they can do, so just the opportunity to be like “yeah shit fucking sucks right now” means a lot.

obv the appropriateness of this depends on the person & their relationship to disability but most of the time i’m very like, radical acceptance / embracing / etc about the fact that i’m probably just gonna get sicker, so sometimes when i’m having a rough time emotionally & am like “what if i’m this bad for the rest of my life” my gf (who doesn’t have chronic pain / chronic illness) will say something like “then i can’t wait to be there with you ❤️” & it’s more meaningful to me than i can begin to put into words.

again everybody’s different but for me one of the biggest things is when disability stuff just… isn’t a big deal to the other person. which, it’s totally okay for you to need support from others when someone you care about is going through a hard time & when things change! but abled people are constantly horrified about like, every aspect of my life, so being able to talk casually about symptoms & somebody mirror the mood / tone i set – laugh if i’m joking, be upset about the ableism i experience & not my body itself if i’m complaining about people being weird about it, taking things as they come – is so affirming.

other things that have been helpful + meaningful for me are friends sending me notes, stickers, & art in the mail – having something tangible can make me feel more “real” & part of the world, something i struggle with due to being homebound – & peer support around medical neglect, which often just looks like talking to someone after a doctor’s appointment & them reaffirming my reality / experiences & saying i didn’t deserve to be treated that way.

oh one other change in language i’ve made over time & probably picked up from a few other ill people in my life is a sort of realistic encouragement – there’s not necessarily anything wrong with “i hope you feel better soon!” because like, i get that the message is well-intentioned, but it can be awkward & difficult to receive when you don’t know if that’s gonna happen. instead, i try to tell people something like “i hope you get a bit of relief soon” or “i hope things are a little easier tomorrow.” a 7/10 pain day may be horrifying for most people, but when you’ve had a streak of 9s, it can be a much-needed taking the edge off, & i try to make space for that breadth of experience in my language.

i’ve answered a few similar questions before so i’ll add my “asks” & “faq” tags on my chronic illness blog in the reblogs if you want to browse! much love to you & your friend and feel free to lmk if you have any other questions 💓💓

[agent-calivide]

💎 👁️ for the ask game!

I answered [👁️ Does the Agency have any ill intentions?] in the recent ask, but I'll happily jump into 💎!

💎Are there physical side effects or lasting repercussions for Kinesium/TK use?

Oh absolutely.

I think putting a rock in your brain is gonna lead to side effects, especially since it basically creates an entirely new set of neural pathways for you to be able to use telekinesis. Hell, even just as an IEYTD player it's made weird muscle memory issues in VR. I was trying to play FNAF help wanted and kept on getting confused why I couldn't hover objects before remembering that was an IEYTD exclusive mechanic.

I think, over time, it would lead to carpal tunnel and numbness in the hands, and potentially even arthritis. Because something has to be lifting those objects, and we know that if it's something the agent can't lift, the TK can't either.

This is gonna get weird and wordy and fudged sciency for a second, so bear with me any actual scientists who know if this is just wildly wrong physics wise, but when breaking down the word telekinesis, you get tele- meaning far distance or transmitted over a distance, and kinesis- meaning movement/motion. Motion from a distance.

But when we look at the rock in the TK implant, it's not Telekinesium, just Kinesium. This shows that it's likely a rock that's high in kinetic energy, energy created through motion. Either that, or something that can transfer kinetic energy. This is something we see in House Call, as the Kinesium battery in Robutler violently vibrates, even making your controller shake outside the game. It's unclear if the rock itself is what's shaking and generating the energy directly or if the battery that Prism made has it in a sort of indefinite feedback loop of an initial burst of generated energy, that's being forced to ricochet off the rock, making a vacuum of indefinite energy that would be needed to power a robot like that, but either way it's putting out a ton of kinetic energy and actually looks a little destabilized.

With all that being said, I think the TK implant doesn't make it so the agent is able to do amazing feats purely just on the TK implant, I think that what the TK implant does is make it so the physical energy generated by the agent's body can be sent out to do things like lift and throw objects with the motions and force the agent puts out themselves. I think this over time would wear down the body just like any other physical activity, leading to aches, pains, and potentially chronic conditions depending on how much meticulous activity they use their TK for.

The only big asterisk is Operation KBOOM on specifically Agent Phoenix. I think, due to the excess of destabilized Kinesium and the adrenaline of the situation, the agent basically went into what's called Hysterical Strength, where they accomplished things that most humans couldn't do due to an adrenaline spike. Then on top of this, they sent their Hysterical Strength through the destabilized Kinesium to do something that would be considered impossible with the TK chip normally, moving those shield generators.

like Prism said "this is gonna hurt."

It's not just the internal migraine of over-using the chip, it's using the rest of the agent's body for energy that they normally couldn't have, leading to massive damage to their muscles and joints. This could also explain why they blacked out, their body giving in from the strain it was under. While they may heal from it, it undeniably was terrible for them, and likely took a long time to recover.

I also think it makes their eyes glow blue, but that's more for the vibes-

[courieralyss]

gonna post 'how to draw archery' things in pieces, bc I am chronically a bit overwhelmed, but i do want this to be out there. here goes part 1 though

- if you're shooting western style archery you're pulling with three fingers on the string. think hunger games symbol - your pinky and thumb should be together, folded down. the hand can be under the arrow on the string, or split one finger above two below. this means when you're starting you're really only seeing those three fingers because the hand is squished up next to the face.

- modern archery: the hand pulling the string should touch your archer's face! at their lip is a decent place, they can also anchor to below their jaw. it shouldn't be further back on your face than around your mouth though - none of this pulling back to your ear, unless you're looking at kyudo. some styles pull up to your cheekbone, but that's usually not pulling with three fingers anymore!

-traditional English longbows you do see people pulling further. consistency with that is way harder because you don't have a reference on your face to know that you're able to shoot. I'd only do this if your character is an archer, your fantasy version of an English longbow solider.

- your archer's chest should be turned along the same line as the bow, so it's flat. if they're turned so their chest faces their target life is gonna be so difficult. also back elbow straight back behind them, roughly in line with the arrow - no going up, or down.

- shoulders should essentially be flat. they are working, especially the front one, but they should stay the same height as normal - no shoulders up by your ears. this means under heavy clothes they should look the same height as normal

- the string should touch the face, or come close to. this depends on the style, but if you're drawing, just know it should come right in front of their vision

- if your character is shooting ye olde bow that is a flat stick without somewhere to hold the arrow, the arrow sits on the hand, on either side of the bow. this matters what style if you're doing it irl, if you're drawing both are legal, but on the inside of the bow in more western european, on the 'outside ' of the bow is more mongolian archery. for asiatic traditional archery this means if i hold the bow in my left hand and pull with my right, the arrow sits on the right side of the bow, along my thumb. you can put a glove on the hand here if your character if you want -fletchings can scrape your hand, especially if you're just starting.

-feathers or fletchings. there are three, often 2 same colour one different, though all three three same also works. u want the different one to point away from the bow, towards your archer, so it doesn't hit the bow. tbh just do them all the same colour, especially for medieval or fantasy.

below is some photos i found that i think might help explain above. il try and update this later, and like . idk im trying to put this together as a how to reference and draw archery if u don't archery thing, pls don't take it as i know everything. i just archery a lot

the photos show thumb release, resting an arrow on a hand prior to drawing back, three finger draw, hand relative to face when the string is pulled back, and overall posture for an archer at full draw

[iatrophilosophos]

Socialized medicine in the US is a partial solution to the myriad of problems with western medicine at best.

Western medicine is theoretically speaking the application of the scientific method to the human body, right? So it seeks to isolate "variables" in the name of "objectivity". Another word for variables here is context. And you just can't in a real way separate context from an individual's state of health; something medical professionals are VERY MUCH AWARE OF (see: shit life syndrome for one example) that exists in tension with both the current regiment of distributing healthcare and with the foundational mythos of western medical knowledge formation.

Western medicine is also beholden to the rest of the world. In places in the US where medicaid is actually relatively accessible, for example, you still have shit like racism and sexism and transphobia and ableism impacting care people get. And I understand that like, when people talk about their ideal socialist utopia, there's mechanisms in place that deal with social oppression; but I want you to think about just how big a project uniform care actually existing would be.

So in our current world, another obstacle to Making Medicine That Works is legality, especially re: the drug war. Very useful, known, well-studied substances have documented properties making them extremely useful or potentially useful for a variety of medical treatments (examples: THC for everything from gut stuff to emotional support; LSD for crohns and potentially diabetes; good old opiates and opiate-related-chemicals for chronic pain, some cases of depression and a subset of the experiences often diagnosed as schizophrenia and/or ADHD): but prohibition prevents application or further study (even for chemicals like THC that are legal in some states, if any program that receives federal funding is involved, can't use it! Fun right?). But sure, we can waive that one aside to and say that universal healthcare will also mean a total end to prohibition. That'd be cool!

So now that we've magicked away these problems, we have uniformly available healthcare that's getting better every day because all the social, legal and financial limits on medical exploration have been taken away. What do we have?

Well aside from a system that's gonna die with the rest of industry any time from next year to a few decades from now, still heavily dependent on plastics and factories and worldwide shipping and coerced labor in other countries, we still have a hierarchical structure where prescriptive knowledge is generated by centralized institutions who's abilities and members are dictated by governmental legislation and that inherently cannot see or account for the context of various people's bodies and lives and thus still limits the ability of disabled and mad people to explore/access unapproved/not-yet-approved treatments. But no, we can magic this one away too, obviously in the ideal socialized healthcare, everyone's needs will be accounted for so we'll have decentralized community medical exploration! And we'll use existing holistic healthcare tools and make more to account for individual people's context! And nobody will be subjected to coerced labor or nonconsensual treatment! And we'll find ways of creating medicine that are locally feasible, don't require global industry, and are resilient against climate collapse!

...so we no longer have contemporary western medicine (or civ, for that matter). Cheers!

But wait! There's more! You can live in this brave new world RIGHT NOW! what do you do with ur time, huh? You play video games? I bet you've put a lot of time and effort and skill-building and resource accumulation into it! Maybe you're poor as shit like me and have figured out emulators and pirating or talk to other people who share your interests about how to access them or you're into indie games! That is cool and meaningful! Maybe you like music! Maybe you like fiction! I bet you know a lot of lore/specifics/techniques/etc related to SOMETHING! maybe it's birds! Idk you but I am absolutely positive that there is SOMETHING you know a lot about that you have figured out how to know in a way that's accessible to you and applicable to your life. Maybe it felt easy, maybe it was really hard, maybe you did it because you want to, maybe you did it because you had to, maybe it's a really big topic, maybe it's a small one, maybe you can think of it right this second and maybe you'd have to ask some friends to point it out to you. Whatever it is, whoever you are, YOU HAVE BUILT A KNOWLEDGE SET AND YOU CAN BUILD ANOTHER ONE! You can start learning about the medicine that is applicable to your life right now. Go read the Wikipedia page for some medications you have around! Or for some ingredient in a food nearby you don't know what is! Or one you do know what is! Figure out a question about it! Google that question! Keep googling! Read some studies that come up and then search all the words you don't know and keep looking until you understand them! Look at you you're doing it! Keep going! This is how it starts!

Medicine exists in the same world we do and we can take it for ourselves and make it better!

[electrosweaters-arts]

Question!

Is Victor in the cryptid college universe? What’s he like, if he is?

Victor IS in CC! In fact, he's already appeared in two pages during the prologue

He's kinda a silly little guy but I'm going to PREFACE real quick by saying: Victor in CC is probably the MOST canon-divergent in terms of personality you're gonna get in CC, at least depending on your interpretations of the OG book characters, but he's pretty different from how either of us actually view him in the book.

CC Victor isn't an exactly an evil mad scientist trope or anything (being a mad scientist in CC is basically like being a mathletes nerd but a bunch of you keep dropping random children off at other peoples houses) but he's just a bit of a general asshole, SPECIFICALLY because placing him in a modern college where EVERYONE is a monster changes who the character is a Lot. A lot of his base traits come from the book, but amplified as a parody like we do with all the CC characters (so yes he does get tropey on purpose) + some changes based on how being in a monster college changes his and the creature's story.

While not uncommon for mad scientists in this universe, he's pretty self-centered, he believes himself to be the superior scientist of his class and can often be rude and dismissive of other students' work. (Though he IS actually incredibly good at what he does, he's top 3 in the class and would most likely be #1 if Griffin didn't have a grading bias towards experiments that can help him with world domination)

(going to be using some LOVELY sketches from @internetwerewolf now <3 theyre the person currently drawing episode 1 of CC <3)

Also, before I forget to mention! CC victor is gay and autistic and both he AND both of the creatures have chronic illnesses that leave them with a lot of joint pain. Their illnesses are based off my own so since *I* don't have a medical diagnosis for my joint issues I can't put an exact name to what they have but ???? maybe Fibromyalgia? again, can't put a name to it but their joints are stiff and HURTY. Adam and Victor's symptoms usually manifest in more invisible ways, from time to time they will need a mobility aid of some sort but most days they get by with painkillers and compression-wear. (Mary almost always uses a crutch or a cane and from time to time will use a wheelchair)

And oh right, the creatures! Let's talk about the creatures, I'd say they're pretty important to Victor's character, wouldn't you? (^another @internetwerewolf doodle of Adam and Mary at Victor's dissertation)

Starting with Adam, Victor made Adam in his first semester of Freshman year at CCU (if you don't know, the school Oracle acts as the head of admissions for the school and is particularly in charge of inviting new mad scientists to the school, which is why characters like Victor or Jekyll were accepted and allowed to know about monsters before having made their experiments themselves, the Oracle knew that they would make them eventually) his reasons for creating and then abandoning the creature are mostly the same as in the book, the death of his mother gave him a fascination with restoring life to the dead but once he actually gave life to the creature he was horrified an ran out on it. Adam was left in Victor's dorm room alone for about 3 weeks before being found by an RA and due to school policy on mad science experiments he was given free room and board for the course of his college degree, he was also taught english directly from classes at the school and found a copy of Paradise Lost among Victor's old things, which gave him the idea for the name Adam.

Adam never actually killed anyone in CC, but he DID ask Victor to make him a family member. He was incredibly lonely from being unable to connect with any of the other students and wanted someone like him, Victor obliged before he and Adam got into an argument which ended with him partially destroying the other creature and leaving Adam to do the rest of the reanimating work himself. (This is why Mary is not quite made right, the stitching on her limbs is very loose and she's missing an eye)

The creatures' and Victor's overall relationship is rocky at BEST, most days they can't STAND each other and squabble any time they pass each other in the halls. Though Victor's family is all still alive AND Adam got his second creature so from time to time they can get along, if a topic in interesting enough for both of them Adam and Victor can hold a conversation for a few hours, and they will sometimes help Victor out if provided a good enough reason to. Mary's less likely to talk to Victor but that's mostly because she just...doesn't like talking to people. They treat him like a shitty dad, and as seen in the prologue they DO like to rough him up a bit from time to time for fun but they wouldn't ever really want to KILL him. (Hyde would. Hyde wants to kill him. Adam has to hold him back from it.)

This was WAY longer than I expected, kinda incoherent, feel free to ask any follow up questions if you'd like! I LOVE talkin about these guys :3

[shadesofdeviant]

For the fanfic asks … all of them? 😁

HAHAHA Ginger! I mean...you said you'd ask for all of them XD So...I guess I'll answer them all XD.

🍄How do you come up with ideas for your stories?

A variety of ways, sometimes I get inspired to write an AU based on an episode of a show, or a novel etc. Or sometimes my brain just pops ideas into my head.

🍉Are you a pantser or a plotter?

I am very much a plotter. It's also why I don't often get much written because I need SO much to be planned before I can write.

🍒What genres/tropes do you find yourself using most often?

Fluff, 5+1, Domestic Slice of Life, AU's - I am an absolute sucker for AU's.

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

As much of a problematic person as they were, Anne Rice's first 3 vampire chronicles books were the books that got me thinking...oh I really wanna do this kind of thing. J R R Tolkien's descriptions very much shaped my own (i used to write horrifically long paragraphs). Neil Gaiman inspired my shorter style, quirky dialogue with inside jokes aimed at the reader.

🥕What's your favorite fic you've written, and why?

My favourite fic is a toss up between "Your Arms Are Like Corset Strings" (9-1-1, Buddie) and "Rainbow Coloured Monstrosity" (9-1-1: Lone Star, Tarlos).

The rest I'm gonna put under a cut haha or this post is gonna get SUPER long.

🥨How do you overcome writer's block?

When I work it out I'll tell you haha. I don't think I've ever managed beyond just pushing through and hate-smashing at the keyboard, or just waiting for the inspiration to come back by itself.

🍕What's your favorite comment you've received on a fic?

Honestly as cliche as it might sound, all comments I get are my favourites. I couldn't pick any specific ones, I enjoy comments so much.

🌭Do you have any writing rituals to help 'get in the zone'?

I use a lot of notebooks, I also get really sad and make powerpoint presentations of planning. Then I either listen to music, or put on some series that Ive seen enough times that it can be background noise.

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

I HC a few things for different people but they're not exactly huge things, but have a few examples. I headcanon that Alec Hardy is a huge fantasy novel fan. I headcanon that Eddie Diaz has chronic pain in his shoulders. I headcanon that Aziraphale hates the scent of pine.

🍭What's been your most challenging story to write, and why?

I'm writing a huge multi-part reincarnated soulmates AU, in which the soulmates meet each other throughout history and have different names etc. and it's...taking me soooo long. And honestly it's just because it so long and has so many historical points I need to research hahaha.

🍬What's a genre/trope you've never written, but might in future?

I'm...not sure tbh. Theres a lot of genre's/tropes I don't like or I'm not comfortable with so won't ever touch. But the ones I do like, I've attempted or I am in the process of attempting.

🍩What advice would you give to aspiring fic writers?

Just go for it. Find something you really, really want to see written and write it, because at the end of the day you write for yourself first and foremost. If you try to write to please everyone you'll stress yourself out too much.

🌶How dependent are you on feedback, good or bad?

Bad feedback is never warranted. I do not write for profit so therefore do not need amazon style reviews. Nor do I ask for constructive criticism. I appreciate if someone wants to tell me they like what I wrote though.

🥑What are you currently working on?

I am currently working on a bunch of things: Doctor Who x Good Omens crossover - The events of "The Giggle" with Crowley tagging along. Broadchurch Whump - 2 entries, poor Alec is getting tormented. Broadchurch x Good Omens x Rab C Nesbitt crossover - Alec, Crowley and Davina are identical triplets. Shenanigans ensue. Buddie birthday gift for someone dear to me. Buddie soulmates AU.

🍹How do you decide a story is ready to post?

I finish writing it haha. I let it come to a natural stopping point and then try not to over think it.

🍊What's a story that changed significantly from its initial idea to the final draft?

My reincarnated soulmates AU. I've changed so many historical points and condensed some and completely scrapped a whole half of it haha.

🥠What's your approach to world-building?

Powerpoints. Powerpoints and mind maps haha. If I'm going AU I will plan it like I'm Tolkien creating middle earth haha XD.

🍎How do you prioritize which stories to work on when you have multiple ideas?

I don't. My brain goes brrr and tries to plan all of them at once to the point I can't work on ANY of them haha.

🌮How do you balance the desire to write for yourself versus the desire to write for an audience?

I have been writing on and off since I was 13, and I used to write entirely for the audience and it stressed me out. Whilst I enjoy audience responses and like to receive comments confirming that they enjoyed what I wrote, if I don't like it, I won't post it, but if I enjoyed what I wrote I will love it regardless.

[bringthekaos]

fdslkgjslk I know I've come late to this fandom and I can't believe this is my first ask here but. The latest ones you've got have made my brain go BRRRRR. I think that Viktor as the Herald wouldn't be 100% machine and it's not only because of fangirling ok. This dude is gonna be a posterboy of What It Could Be for humanity. A symbiosis. There's the Hextech/Flesh mix he's made of some of himself, which he'd keep. There's the parts I think he'd def change into a machine entirely. As someone who does have chronic pain, I don't think he'd replace his entire torso, because he's already spent like ten years in a harness, and paradoxically if he replaces his lungs and heart and throat and spine, he'd like to feel what it's not like to be in pain and not be constricted there. Like, maybe he changed his ribs, or maybe he put metal over the sides, but not around the whole thing? So, that's a cyborg feature. I feel like he'd augment his left leg with cyborg parts (specially on the knees and ankles) but keep the flesh. And the hips and buttocks, same thing - Lower back and hips reinforced, flesh for the rest. There's a spiteful streak to him, after all.

And he'd keep his human face. To fuck with Jayce. To know that yes, he has a mask on, and he may believe the mask is his real face (hell, even Viktor feels like it sometimes); but he could take it off any time he wants to.

(Also the temporo-mandibular joint is def going to be metal tho, supported by the chin, because look at this guy and tell me he doesn't have bruxism. And I'm sorry about this huge thing, maybe I should've made a sketch X'DD)

Hiiiiii! I said it once already, but welcome to the fandom! We’re stoked to have you!

I do a lot of flip-flopping on how much I think he’s replaced as the Machine Herald. Sometimes it’s more than others. Like… he preaches the superiority of metal and how the human form can only be improved upon. But then… he enjoys sweetmilk. He has a sense of humor, even in League, where he has supposedly eliminated a fair share of his emotions. So there’s also an element of hypocritical thinking when it comes to Viktor. Like… he says emotion is a barrier between humanity and their highest possible form, but then he finds joy in the little things (like the aforementioned sweetmilk), which is a fundamentally human character trait. And on the other end of that spectrum, as you said, he’s spiteful and holds grudges. Like… my guy has deluded himself into thinking he’s above emotion.

Until we get a definite confirmation in Arcane on just how much augmenting he’s done, it’s fun to play with the options, as a writer. I can write a more detached Viktor, who has replaced basically everything except his brain. And I can write him with very minimal augments—really just what was required to save his life and stop his pain. It’s actually kinda nice, not knowing. For now, anyway. It gives me freedom. But when we do eventually know, I’ll get to write a whole bunch of new canon-compliant stuff!!

I don’t know that Viktor would do anything mod-wise specifically to fuck with Jayce… it kinda depends how bad their falling out is. I feel like Arcane may be stepping back from the contention between them, and making it more of a tragedy of circumstances with notes of personal betrayal. Idk though. If Jayce really does end up betraying him, then all bets are off. He builds parts of himself with the sole intent being to torture Jayce. And maybe even builds the mask so that he never has to look Jayce directly in the eyes again.

Ugh. Can’t believe S2 is still a year away. I NEED ANSWERS.

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

Well here's part 2! ( ≻⸝⸝⸝≺ ྀི)

How can I deny a nice cup of tea and a massage ? There's no way. I thank you dearly.

You and Nanami probably gonna kill me with a huge sermon about not working overtime to which I have been doing more, and my poor health has been less healthy. I should say. But I'm managing it and taking care as much as I can. At some point I'll slow down a bit with the extra shifts.

May I adoringly nickname you as my Wifey now ? Is that okay ? Instead of Workwives we are Ficwives? (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Gonna start tagging our conversations as "The Miscellaneous Misadventures and Mischiefs of Noni & Kat", watcha thing about that ?

Take all the time you need about posting fics, sweetie. I follow discontinued stories and some that I have been waiting for idk three+ years to be continued ? I'm very patient in waiting even with my chronic issue problems. Like anxiety. Your slow cooking is worth the wait and it's gonna be delightful! (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠)

Please if I start yapping too much just tell.me to shut up that I'll go back to my void corner. But I would like to thank you, Bacon and Mrs Haitch and other dear moots that slowly got me into asking /interacting / talking more around here. You've all been so dear and welcoming ! You have no idea how that has affected me! Idk how many years I've been here, and I'm always dead silent. I just leave little thank you's and a small comment or notes on something. So thank you for adopting this stray cat.

It's wonderful people like you and them and your wonderful stories that have kept me going all these years, doesn't matter if it's an image, drabble, one shot, a whole 100 + chapter fic, that brings so many times comfort from the harsh real life world.

I am immensely grateful to have meet you, and for having you as a friend! And them included. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

Please do be feral ! It can happen always at anytime whatever the circumstances! I love and support feral ladies and everyone else ! Don't hold back ! Go absolutely gnawing feral over the things that matter for you and that you like talking about.

Now pouring the Tea !

I should leave you hanging a bit longer just for the pleasure of torturing you a little bit. But I won't. I might have the murderous resting face but I'm a softie by heart.

What can I say ? Before my brain fried ?

The little bit I observed, because yes I am shy and introvert irl, I barely talk and keep it mostly to myself, but I have a error on my code, depending on what happens, I blush easily (yes yes I know here am I 25+ blushing so bad that sometimes the tip of my ears get pink too, its horrible, there goes my bad face facade through the window) and sometimes my colleagues try to get that reaction out of me, which is hard because I know how to hide well. But sometimes like this, there's no way of denying and oh boy did they get a kick out of it, it was the talk all day. lol

It's a small bakery coffee shop, nothing glamorous or like Starbucks. It's local. Since the town basically revolves around tourism on the weekends usually it cramps up a bit. But mostly it's just the same old costumers.

But this guy never showed up here, on the shop. From the little I could observe, because usually I slyly avoid too eye contact much. He's tall, I would say early 50's ? Dark brown hair with some silverfox strands showing. A five o'clock shadow of a beard. Very well dressed, and accompanied. Yes yes. What you think about this glimpse of him ? I guess handsome in his ways ? Idk. But he was so polite.

Maybe one day I get lucky enough to meet someone with Nanami vibes, and things happens just as you described ?

Thank you for interacting with me ! Form your support and friendliness! I appreciate it so much, blessed be sweetie ! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

With love,

Kat

My beautiful Love,

You're in the absolute correct place. In a perfect utopia, we would never have to work overtime, we would be fed and taken care of, and the world would not be the shit show that it is today.

Unfortunately, for us, we do not live in such a world and are forced to trudge to our places of work everyday. Slaves chained to a never ending unrewarding system that drains the very soul out of our selves.

Regardless. You must prioritise yourself, my love. You must. Because you are a ray of sunshine in this world and you should never be dimmed.

It goes without saying that I will keep writing. Keep creating. Whether it's a short or long or one like or smau whatever. Writing is everything to me. (It's actually going to be what 10 years of my writing and postings online I think ahahah) And though I'm not big and popular i don't care because interactions like yours MAKE MY DAY.

Darling.

I LOVE coffee shops like that. It sounds like a dream! Oh I'd love to meet "the one" in such a place. I have gobbled more coffee shop au stories than I can count and just love it. Keep em coming. But again, please look after yourself also.

Our Coffee Shop Silver Fox (CSSF) sounds totally daddy! Terribly attractive men who just breeze in and out being polite as shit are my actual honest to god weakness. Like marry me. Right now good sir pit a fucking ring on it.

I don't blame you for being flustered, I would be too!

And I hope you don't mind me saying but, my love, you sound gorgeous jsjs. 🫣🫣🫣

Stay safe, look after yourself, and make sure to drink enough water and eat your meals on time lovey.

Yours, in prose,

Wifey🩷

I wanna tag real quick here @uchihasanctuary and @pseudowho because they deserve to know you're a cutie who thinks about them too. (But we all know u love me mostest, right... ? )

[nei-ning]

Now that I've finished reading book about autism, let me just tell you, it was VERY eye opening! LOTS and LOTS of things which match me!

Therefor I wrote everything down and now, I'm gonna do my best and translate the list here. It WILL be long so be prepared. There's few questions where I left my own answer. Those are marked with *

Disorder without impairment of intellectual or language functioning.

"This was it!" a decision of refusing to do something anymore

Inner knowing of being autistic but still not knowing / realizing it

Anxiety, endless hole in the stomach

Sentences / words get stuck to play in the head as a loop

Anxiety feels like an another living being who lives inside you

Always felt of being different from others

No any help from anti-depression medicines and countless of therapy sessions

Trying to fit in women's most common mental health issues: Is this guilt after all, shame, too strong desire to please, super conscientious all the way to exhaustion, reaching for perfection, having eating disorder while hating her body. Maybe just chronically depressed? I'm none of these.

I don't care what others think of me

I can manage but only about those things which I'm interested in

I ignore everything boring

My human dignity does not depend on my body

Is sleeping difficult? No since I fall asleep every evening like a sauna lantern (saunalyhty)

Fear of not being believed

I can behave. I warn I can fake and maintain a facade.

I want to be honest and open

When talking, words fall on the floor and are forgotten there. I feel powerless since it feels like none understands me.

I'm often angry when others don't get it what I mean

I'm in a contact with other people more than I could handle

I like to talk long about the same subject and I don't like it when the subject it changed quickly.

Difficulties with eye contact

Hard to work together since others don't think like I.

Others' slowness is infuriating.

I don't like repeating things. Saying it once should be enough

In social situations I act and fake. I fear people.

I can't handle of being interrupted. Example: If another person on the phone wants something else than what I have in mind in that moment.

I don't like changing plans

I get tired easily and need breaks often

Few powerful objects of interest. Many things don't interest at all

Oversensitive to sounds (always wearing headphones)

I'm smart on certain things but on others completely useless

Can't survive from simple calculations or can't follow simple instructions

Challenges in routines. Taking a shower and brushing teeth are very challenging. I can manage but it's very challenging / demanding.

Everything practical and physical demands a lot of efforts

(Small) Talking is difficult since I never know what to say

Autism is caused by biological reasons and is heavily inherited

Autism is not an illness / disease. You can't train yourself out of it and there's no medication to it.

Difficulties in communication and social interaction

Limited behavioral patterns and targets of interest which can, for example, lead to it that routines are important and changes difficult

Senses can be over- or undersensitive.

Autistic has to reason that what others can do naturally

Strong sense of honesty and justice

It's easier to focus on details than on a bigger picture

It can be hard to start a tasks or end them

Most autism tests are made for MEN only

Do I like to play games? Yes (PS4 etc)*

I pay attention on cars' register plates? Yes*

Numbers fascinate me: Yes and no. (I believe in angel numbers so in that sense yes, otherwise no)*

I don't enjoy reading belles-lettres: No, I don't.*

I enjoy gathering information about different subjects, like cars: Depends (I like plague / Black Death!)*

Do I like social happenings and meeting people: No

I have to rest and recharge long after being social

Autistic girls couldn't handle changes, didn't know how to shower, couldn't get their teeth brushed, were extremely sensitive to sounds, got temper tantrums at home, slept badly and they had no friends. They were lonely girls who didn't play with dolls but broke them or only brushed their hair.

To autistic child being held by force / against their will in order to calm them is very damaging. Touch feels uncomfortable.

Autistic understands everything literally

Parents never asked at home how school day was so I learned not to speak about myself

Using words wrong infuriates

Do you feel the need to share your experience with others or is it irrelevant? - It's not if nothing hasn't happened. I don't feel I have anything to tell.

Autistic is strict about details

Music, writing and drawing helps autistic person to release tension

Autism can also be caused by "mother's coldness" which has caused child to withdraw and shutdown.

Autistic girls are handy (drawing, making jewelry, hobby) or then they like animals (or both)

Focuses so hard on drawing (for example) that forgets to eat, go to bathroom etc.

Synesthesia (seeing colors or forms when listening music, getting a taste of something in mouth from words, music, people etc. Example: I once saw a man on TV and he tasted like beetroot!)

Doesn't feel like fitting in society's roles, like how you should look

No connection to body

Periods surprise every time

Doesn't realize being sick

Eating disorder is common on adult autistic people

Connection to anorexia

Overwhelmed by sounds and lights. Can hear fridge's humming or kids outside even that windows are closed. Chat happening at the back of the bus, neighbors. All sounds flood in brains.

Remembers a lot from what s/he has heard

It's important for autistic person to control the situation

Stimming: A way to express emotions. Can appear as sniffing something, stroking pleasantly feeling items, movement (exam: dance), singing, repeating words, biting / chewing, listening sounds, pulling lips etc.

Hands need to re-learn things constantly (like how to peel potato)

Hands can survive from small tasks, not from big ones

Hate towards it you should constantly be doing something

Hard to be around people who are constantly moving, their movement(s) gets on the nerves (aka pisses off)

Doesn't invite anyone to visit them since visits are exhausting

Addiction of routines. Same food every day, each summer the same vacation destination, doing things in specific time because then you can prepare yourself for them.

Easier to understand self-made instructions

Cleaning little by little (task per day) so that housework doesn't become overwhelming

Talking rudely to yourself, keeping yourself stupid

Hard to interact with others' conversation. Usual respond is weird look and: "What?"

Fight / disagreement with a parent. Doesn't get along with father or mother

Laughing at things which others don't get

Perfect rest from sounds and movements (exam: No TV on)

Desire to intervene in matters (exam: baking) if result is not perfect

Lack of sense of direction

Unable to try new route to a market (fear of getting lost)

Anxiety which comes from familiar thing having something new or strange in it, that I haven't "grow up" but stayed "as a child".

Doesn't understand why people scream in concerts, games etc.

Difficulties of getting a female friend (for female autistic persons)

Lack of empathy

Cognitive empathy: Doesn't understand how to react in certain situations

Can do emotional empathy

Let's others decide

Doesn't have strength to go through the same things over and over again with a friend

Easier to get along with boys

Ready to sacrifice a lot for a friend

Fictions affect deeply (exam: as a learning material)

Too critical

Constant collisions and misunderstandings with people

[wooahaes]

how much i'd enjoy watching a horror movie w them

context: i love horror movies. im still working my way through a lot of classics lol but literally i just love horror as a safe way to explore dark themes and spooky things. jumpscares will get me occasionally but its all good if they're earned lol i just think they're neat :)

further context: i'm just a little over 5'5" and chubby. vague teddy bear energy if u ignore the chronic resting bitch face.

s.coups: man who i feel would tell me 'if you get scared, you can hold onto my arm :)' and then would jump at every scare and be like an over-exasperated dad holding his heart. solid 6/10 tho if i do get to cuddle with him. i think we would probably make fun of each other for jumping. also i feel like cheol makes comments throughout movies which is fine w me bc same hat. if anything, i get the feeling he would probably hide behind me at some points and then question why i'm so excited when the killing starts happening lol

jeonghan: hmm honestly 7/10 i think jeonghan would have fun with it especially if it's a bad horror movie. man who i think would listen to me info dump abt behind the scenes stuff if i know it tbh. the -3 comes from the fact that i think jeonghan can also get spooked like cheol (im thinkin abt the mbti episodes where he punched a mannequin while startled) and idk if i'm gonna get jumped on if i watch a movie w jeonghan

joshua: 10/10 im like 90% sure joshua actually likes horror movies so i feel like he is a rly safe bet to watch them with. most likely to laugh during literally any movie if i get spooked. i think he'd be an especially calming presence tho esp if something gets super under my skin?? man who feels like he'd be open to just talking abt it and maybe watching something else if its too much. also idk feels like he would also crack jokes throughout.

jun: hmm honestly im unsure about jun. on one hand, i think he'd be fun, but on the other hand, i dunno how much of it is his thing?? i don't think he's a big horror dude but idk. i wanna say a solid 5/10 purely bc it depends on the day and how jun's feeling and what we're watching. i think we'd have fun tho especially if its something campier. i'd rather watch disney movies with him bc at that'd be like 10/10 experience, very fun duet partner.

hoshi: tbh both horror experiences im vaguely familiar with, soonyoung's been chill??? i feel like he'd have fun shit to say tho. 8/10 not the guy who gets scared but the guy who is probably cracking jokes. i don't think i can poke fun at him for jumping tho.

wonwoo: i don't think wonwoo gets scared easily (like shua)? so i feel like he'd be a very calming presence to have for horror movies. i wanna say 10/10 in the vein of having a chill night where we watch scary movies and probably talk about them in depth afterward which is also my jam lol (<- professional yapper)

woozi: hmm.... honestly i think it'd be a quiet experience. altho i oddly get the vibe that he'd be like wonwoo in the fact that i think we'd have a cozy discussion afterward if its something with interesting themes? so like 1/10 experience in terms of 'very quiet moving watching experience' but 9/10 discussion afterward. so... idk, 6/10? it'd be a nice vibe tho to just kinda kick back and watch a movie, maybe having occasional moments where one of us points out something cool

the8: hao gives me the vibes of someone who laughs at jump scares. might get startled, but he wouldn't be as bad as others. solid 8/10 tho, i think it'd be a fun time if he says snarky things.

mingyu: 0/10 we are not watching a scary movie together. i value not getting crushed by him when he inevitably jumps toward me to hide, also i respect that horror isn't his thing. we can watch coraline tho and he can hide his face during the scarier bits if need be lol its ok gyu i will protect u

dk: 0/10 seokmin my angel i am so sorry. i love my eardrums. disney movie time for seokmin. duet partner number 2.

vernon: both times i have seen vernon get scared hes not the kind of person who screams or jumps a ton but would probably be holding onto my arm. man who gets scared and then goes "ah. its just a movie" to himself. altho im p sure vernon's into movies a lot so like... i feel like we'd have rly fun discussion afterward? 10/10 bc fun movie discussion dude. would share snacks w him while having an hour long discussion abt themes.

seungkwan: 0/10 this man will yell i fear. disney movie duet partner number 3. that would be leagues more fun tbh like theres a scale from 'not startled at all' to 'genuinely not having a good time' and gyu, dk, and seungkwan are all toward the end of that scale for me (and id say maybe jun too?). like... if it's not their thing, then it's not their thing and there's nothing wrong w that. i would rather watch something silly n fun w them :3

dino: i fear chan will yell after a certain point but be like haha im not scared. are you scared? im not scared. you can hold onto me if ur scared tho (immediately gasps at something spooky going on in the bg of the movie) woah that was tense... anyway im not scared. solid 3/10 i'd rather watch something else with him that he'd have fun with