#the rest of the diamond dogs: ......... A h .

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

on one hand, it would be in-character and potentially plotty/useful plotwise for beard to figure out what's going on (at least to some degree) with ted and trent by himself. on the other hand, i'm picturing ted (finally realizing he doesn't feel entirely heterosexually about trent) going to the diamond dogs and when they're like "wait let's get trent--" he's like no actually it's kinda about trent? and they're all like oh? 👀 and ted reluctantly goes........yeah i'm . ok well to start with i'm. kinda. sleeping with him ? and right behind him. just. instantly. beard, who'd been taking a sip from his mug, sprays coffee everywhere

[benedictscanvas]

pick me up at seven - roy kent x reader

pairing: roy kent x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k (they won't all be this long i don't think!!)

warnings: language of course, and this is a little steamy but with no actual smut. my favourite genre HA

request: I can’t find any good Roy fics until your recent one and I’m dying for more 😭 Anyway you could write something else for him? Maybe they’re at a bar and he gets pissed when he sees Jamie flirting w her? (Not a pre established relationship) - @kashee-h

a/n: your wish is my demand!! i'm so happy you enjoyed the first roy fic of what i hope are many to come. this one totally got away from me, i loved writing it so so much, thanks for a request that I really got to make my own! <3

---

Roy is the one who’s invited you here. Roy is the one who trekked over to your office at the end of the working day and told you that everyone was going out that evening. Roy is the one who suggested you come, even when you seemed reluctant to join in on what appeared to be an evening for just the players and the coaches. Roy is the one who convinced you that it would be fun, that he’d make sure of it.

All of this is making it very hard for Roy to accept that you are currently sat in a corner booth with someone else. The fact that the person you seemed to be having such an in depth conversation with was Jamie fucking Tartt was the icing on a very shit cake.

He knew he could be having a better night than just sitting on a barstool trying not to watch the two of you, especially when Ted and Beard arrived to get the next round and he didn’t even acknowledge them. They’d hired out a private room, so it was filled with people he generally tolerated the company, some he’d even go as far as to say that he liked. None of that was registering, however. 

Jamie leans in when you can’t hear something he’s said and he watches you nod solemnly, duck your head to stare at the floor as if flustered, and he wants to walk right out that door and never come back. Maybe he could get a job at Chelsea, or something.

“Now, what’s wrong, Jeremy Strong?” Ted asks, and Roy has to bite back a ‘fuck off’ so hard he wonders if his lip is bleeding, “You look just about ready to start wreckin’ the place.”

Out of the corner of Roy’s eye, he sees Beard lean in to whisper in Ted’s ear and points over at you. Ted looks surprised. Roy does not want to deal with this.

“You’re telling’ me our very own Mr Kent has his eyes on our very own Miss Y/L/N? Well, that’s just great! She’s sweet as anythin’, good for you, Roy.”

“She’s sweet on Jamie fucking Tartt, more like,” he says, even though he knows he’s being so fucking unfair. He hates it about himself. He knows how hard he’s worked on these feelings, on frustration and anger and jealousy, knows that a few years ago he’d be getting ready to fight Jamie down an alley further through tonight. Now he’s done that work, however, he can recognise the overriding feeling that he’s actually just hurt and that’s so much worse. It’s much easier to be jealous than upset.

“Does this call for an impromptu meeting of the Diamond Dogs?” Ted asks brightly and Roy is only able to stop him after his second howl. Higgins has looked over briefly but Beard signals him to stay where he is.

“Fuck no,” Roy blurts out, then reconsiders. Maybe he could at least talk to Ted, “I just- I was going to tell her. Tonight.”

“Tell her what?” Ted’s doing that thing where he bats his eyelashes like he’s in some sort of rom-com. Beard’s got his head resting in his hand, looking similarly up at Roy. They’re insufferable. 

“That I fucking like her, okay? Take those fucking looks off your faces.”

Ted and Beard scramble to look normal but come up short. Ted’s got the awful kind of shit-eating grin on his face that he gets when he sees Sam and Jamie hugging or watches Isaac doing his handshakes with everyone before a game.

“So, you’ve been spending time together? Or are you telling her out of the blue?” Beard pipes up.

Roy thinks that over. You’ve been spending a lot of time together actually. More than anyone at the club would probably even believe. He slips away to your office to eat lunch under the guise of needing a break from the American Circus downstairs. You text him when you’ve brought in ice cream because you know he’ll never say no to ice cream. You’ve met Phoebe. That one was by accident in the park, but you stuck around for four fucking hours and nobody made you.

Still, he wonders whether it would be completely shocking to you or whether you’ve been waiting for him to make a proper move. You’re incredibly difficult to read alongside being so stupidly pretty that sometimes he wants to swear less around you. He doesn’t manage it, of course, but he thinks it.

“Yes, we’ve spent time together. No, I don’t know what that means. Probably doesn’t mean shit to her, not that it would be her fault if she doesn't.”

Ted and Beard tilt their heads simultaneously at him and he wishes he could bash their heads together for a moment.

“But it means somethin’ to you, hey coach? I don’t think Miss Y/N sittin’ with Jamie should stop you from tellin' her how you feel about ‘er, hey coach?”

Roy’s lost track of which coach Ted is even talking to, but Beard chimes in.

“Surely her spending time with Jamie should be all the more incentive to tell her. Find out how she feels. Get that crushing disappointment out of the way now. It’s only downhill from here.”

Roy raises a brow at him as Ted gives him a look. Beard sighs, then picks up his drink and seems to disappear. Ted leans into Roy.

“Him and Jane are on a break again, I’m sorry. Look I’m goin’ to have to go find him but he was right, until he wasn’t. Go get ‘er, Ross Gellar!”

And with that, Ted’s gone too, weaving his way through crowds of people until he’s lost to them. When Roy glances back in your direction, Jamie’s got Colin and Isaac beside him instead and you’re nowhere to be found. He sighs and stands from his barstool, making his way to the exit. Maybe he’d think about what Ted and Beard had said tomorrow: for now, he just wanted to go home.

Except for the fact that when he finally managed to push his way outside to breathe in some fresh air, he found you. Leaning against the wall of the club, with definite tears in your eyes, even under the dim street lamp light. He was going to murder Jamie Tartt, slowly, with rope and paint and suffering involved.

But he knew to take a slightly softer approach with you. If at all possible.

“Hey,” he says quietly, trying not to startle you. You're quick to look up at him, startled anyway, and he grits his teeth as he asks, “Are you alright?”

He doesn’t make any comment about what the fuck Jamie had done to you. Doesn’t think it would be received all that well. Again, he’s biting the inside of his lip harder than ever.

“Yes! Oh god, yes, sorry,” you’re blinking furiously. He admires your resolve when the nearly teary face is quickly replaced by that bright smile that makes him weaker in the knees than he already is, “Fuck, sorry. I’m all good. I’m not sure this is my scene, I was just going to call a taxi.”

There’s an opening. He’ll be damned if he’s not taking it, even though confessing anything is the furthest idea from his mind - he’s much more focused on making sure you’re okay and nobody’s done anything to hurt you. If they have, he's already resigned to a short stint in jail if necessary.

“Do you want to walk?”

“Uh, I mean not really. It’s quite late, so…”

“With me, I mean,” he quickly clarified, wanting to bash his head against the brick wall, “I could walk you home, if you wanted. Or not. That’s fine too.”

“Oh, right,” you’re looking down at your feet as you contemplate it, “That would be nice, if you’re sure. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he insists, falling into step beside you as you begin to walk. He wants to give you his jacket and maybe his shirt too with the way you’re shivering, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s a fucking coward, but he will get to the bottom of what’s the matter if its the last thing he does, “You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?”

You huff out a frustrated sigh, at him, at yourself, he isn’t sure.

“I made a fucking fool of myself tonight,” you say eventually, and he can’t even imagine you doing that, “I thought…god, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Everything just feels worse when its…1:30 in the morning, don’t you think?”

You’d lifted his hand to check his watch before you said the time. Again, he wanted to hold on, but he let you drop his hand and it just went limp.

“It fucking does, yeah. Don’t think you could make a fucking fool of yourself if you tried though. Not around us lot.”

Your family, he heard Ted’s voice in his head. He was not fucking saying that. To his surprise, you let out a loud bark of a laugh at his words and he was staring at the side of your face as you spoke out into the dark air.

“I thought you were coming to pick me up tonight, you know?” you began, and his heart drops to his shoes. You’re upset about him?

“What?”

“Something you said earlier, when you asked me to come. You asked where I lived, then told me it would be a twenty minute walk to get there. Then you said ‘see you at seven’.”

He could have stopped walking. He had said that, but he was just trying to help you plan out your timings for the evening - you’d mentioned to him once that you were known for having some time blindness when you were getting ready for things. Of course he should have realised how fucking stupid that was, how much that sounded like he would come and walk with you.

He would have fucking loved to walk with you.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, far too loudly for the quiet night that surrounded you. You carried on undeterred, shaking your head. He could see your frustration was at yourself now, and he hated himself even more than he had earlier.

“My fault for assuming, I know. But that’s why I was so late. And when I arrived, trying talk myself into not feeling like a twat, you were already over with Dani and Isaac and Bumbercatch, clearly never intending to come pick me up. Which, why would you, of course. I just…felt shit. Jamie tried to help, bless him, but I just wanted to go home, honestly.”

Roy is the biggest idiot on the planet. He wants to go back into the club and hug Jamie for looking after you, then ask him to punch him in the face. Roy could punch something, anything right now, but he just grits his teeth.

“I’m-” he grunts when his voice comes out all strangled, “I’m really fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m the fucking twat. I was asking where you lived and that to help you with that fucking time blindness thing you told me about. Should’ve known how it sounded though. Fucking idiot.”

He directed the last comment at himself, kicking a stone he’d found on the pavement. He kept his eyes firmly trained on his shoes as the two of you continued walking, now at a significantly slower pace. Your eyes were burning a hole in the side of his face.

There was a silence that stretched on as you stared at him, until-

“Fucking hell,” you groaned, “That’s so fucking sweet. You’re the worst.”

He doesn’t know if he can remember being called sweet before. Phoebe was often excessively complimentary of him in a way that made him uncomfortable, but sweet had never come up. He didn’t feel sweet.

“I am the worst,” he grunted, spiralling, “Making you feel so shit. Ruining your fucking night. I was the one who convinced you in the first place and now you’ve had a shit fucking time and I’m the worst.”

He’s a little out of breath and loud again by the end of his rant. The two of you have stopped walking. You kick the toe of your heel against his shoe, placating.

“No, you’re the worst ‘cause you keep giving me all this hope. I fucking hate hope, no matter what Ted says,” you chuckle to yourself, and he’s not sure what you’re saying but he’s peering into your now smiling expression as he tries to work it out, “Look, do you like me or not? You’re a good guy Roy and either way, I’m grateful that you’re walking me home. I just think if I ask, maybe I can just feel like a twat for the night and get it over with by tomorrow.”

“Do I…like you?”

He sounds thick. He feels thick. Feels like his mouth is full of honey that his tongue is having to wade through to even speak to you. It’s stuck to the bottom of his mouth, heavy.

“Yeah. As in, do you just enjoy eating lunch with me or do you ever look at me and just want to kiss me? Cause I do that all the fucking time, Roy, but I can’t be arsed to dance around it anymore.”

You look really tired as you stare up at him, but he feels more energised than ever. You’ve both just established that he’s the absolute worst, and yet here he is, with everything he could’ve wanted right in front of him. You, looking fucking gorgeous and looking at him like that? Even getting a job at Chelsea wouldn’t help him against you - he was gone.

There’s a smirk on his face that he can’t bite back as he takes your face in both his hands and revels in the gasp he can pull from you. He should have known you’d be the first to say something. You weren’t the coward he was.

“Let’s not fuck about then, yeah?”

Low and breathy. You respond with a nod so eager that he’s practically grinning when he pulls you in. It’s quickly replaced by a hunger he’s been keeping at bay, allowing his hands to slide into your hair as he deepens the kiss almost as soon as it’s started. He can feel your hands clutching at the lapels on his jacket, but he’s more excited when you throw your arms around his neck instead, tugging on the hair at the base of his head.

He growls and you actually whimper. It’s like he’s been set on fucking fire. Like he’s been struck by lightning.

When he pulls away for air, you stay close, peppering kisses along the scruff of his jaw, up the side of his face and back down again. He holds you to him tightly around your waist and feels wanted. He’s wanted you for so long, but to be wanted in return, so openly, it’s both hot and meaningful. He’s not sure anyone’s ever told him they liked him before. Most models he’d dated were pretty sold on the idea that he had to make all the moves.

Still, when you begin trailing kisses down his neck and there’s a hand on the top button of his shirt, he has enough sense about him to stop you. Even if he really doesn’t want to.

“I don’t know what street this is,” he breathes out, low voice little more than a rumble, “But maybe we don't give your neighbours a fucking show.”

You look thoroughly kissed when you look back at him, but he doesn’t think it’ll ever be enough. He leans in to kiss you once more to punctuate his sentence, watching as you duck your head, all shy, even though your arms are still around him. He knows now that when you ducked your head with Jamie, you were embarrassed. This is you properly flustered and it’s one of his favourite looks on you.

“Good call, yeah. Okay. I’m- I’m just around this corner, I think.”

“You think?”

“Shut up, you,” you whack him lightly on the shoulder, as the two of you resume walking, “Think you can make it all the way there?”

“I’d carry you if my knee wasn’t fucked,” he admits, watching you with a lopsided smile, “Really fucking like you, by the way. If that wasn’t proof. Thought you should hear me fucking say it.”

You close your eyes in a little half laugh - giddy, he thinks. 

“Well, I did wonder. We’ve spent a lot of time together the last few weeks for someone who doesn’t like spending time with people.”

“Your first clue,” he agrees, taking your hand with pride now as the two of you keep walking, turning the corner towards your house. The pace is a lot quicker than it was before. He hopes he knows why, “I’ll be less of a fucking idiot now. Promise.”

“Eh, don’t worry,” you shrug, letting go of his hand only to thread your arm through his and take hold of his hand again, even tighter, “Nothing sexier than fucking idiots. I like my men with no thoughts behind their eyes.”

He properly laughs at that, head tilted back, feeling your head against his arm as you laugh with him. You slow down, gesturing left. Your house. The two of you walk down the drive until you’re at the door, face to face again and Roy is having a small internal battle.

“Look, I know you said no show for the neighbours,” you begin, almost nervously, “But does that mean a…private show is totally off the table too?”

He watches you picking at your nails. Can’t help it. He pulls you in for another breathless kiss, just to watch you come alive again, confident and fucking into him, however much of a miracle it seems. You pull away this time, clearly keen for an answer, but he groans.

“Tryin’ to be a fucking gentleman, here. Why don’t we do dinner tomorrow? Proper date. And I’ll fucking pick you up.”

You giggle. Still, there’s a glint in your eyes, as you sigh melodramatically.

“That does sound nice. Only thing is, there could be an intruder in here, you know? So, and I’ll only ask once more and then I promise I’ll let you go if you say no, but maybe you should walk me to my bedroom? To make sure I’m safe, you know? And then you can pay for my breakfast in the morning like a good old fashioned gentleman, if you want.”

You’re looking up at him, all hopeful again. His resolve is dwindling. You spin your keys around one finger and its a simple gesture, but it’s the final straw.

“I’m paying for your fucking lunch too,” he growls, diving into you once again. He’s beside himself when he hears you mutter a faint ‘thank fuck’ as you fumble to unlock the door and all but drag him inside.

---

if you've read this far, i fucking love you, you beautiful sunflower <3 requests open for this angry man and his favourite jamie tartt if you're interested!!

[good--merits-accumulated]

mini-oneshot; post Neil's death. the usual content warnings apply - depression + some pretty severely bad mental health + alcohol + injury + quite a bit of swearing.

For a long time afterwards he lay and did nothing. He lay until his bones fused with the sheets and Meeks started to look pale and then they came in and threatened him with suspension so he got up and went to class. But in his mind he was lying still, all the time. The others let him alone half out of pity and half out of fright, like a dog that should have been put down when it was a runt. He tried to care but could not care about caring. The new teacher set them an essay on iambic pentameter and instead of writing it he reproduced one of Rimbaud’s poems, the one that began Pitoyable frère! Que d'atroces veillées je lui dus… The essay came back unmarked with a hasty grade scribbled in the margin, and he thought, great. So I can’t even rebel right. Then what the hell did he do it for? At nights he would lie down and listen jealously to the sound of his own breathing, trying to breathe like someone else, and hating all the time the dark mound of blankets that was Cameron’s back in the corner of his vision. 

He lay down and he lay down and he lay down until one night he woke up and he was no longer lying down but climbing out of the window. It had stuck in the frame as he pulled it up but it was holding, and he shimmied his legs out over the narrow sill, avoiding the open bottle of schnapps on the desk, and thought perhaps there had been enough lying, perhaps he would try running. It must be nice to feel the ground beneath your feet, the steady jolt of your heart in your chest, no entrapment, no cage… his fingers spasmed on the sill and his legs kicked involuntarily, like the legs of men when they were sentenced to hang. He made himself stop thinking. And then after that all was an explosion; sound and noise and no light, no light still but the sharp clinical mortuary beam of the moon by the window. He could not touch it, he tried, and then it was gone again out of his sight and Cameron was kneeling over him on the floor of the room, looking furious. What the fuck did you do that for, he was saying, or maybe it was Why the fuck are you acting like this, or even, Why the fuck him and not you? He tried to say something pithy like I was hoping you’d tell me that, slick, but his mouth seemed to be missing somehow. The words came out of him but he kind of knew he had not said them. Cameron knelt there for a long time, his mouth twisting with a great and terrified fury. There was something shining on his face – tears, maybe… he looked closer and it was blood. He looked down at his hands and saw two deep gouges, running lengthways across his palms. Then the words came. Kind of like Jesus, huh? he said, holding his palms up in front of him. Behind Cameron the door opened and Pitts came in. Maybe he’ll come back.

Jesus Christ, said Cameron, you’re drunk. All around them the shards of the schnapps bottle lay like diamonds, glittering, like the water of the lake he could see from the window. He remembered now; he had been trying to get there. His arms ached to swim. Cameron got up and trembled and said, Could have killed yourself. The rest of it he forgot in the time that passed. 

It was some days later that Pitts slapped him round the face; he jolted, surprised, but with no pain. Pull yourself together, he said to him, do you think any of us like seeing you like this, you shit, don’t you dare go away like that. Pull yourself together. It was desperation and it was ugly desperation but even the ugly desperation was something and everything stopped blurring together if only for a second. The anger had drained away with the slap and Pitts said to him, Meeks is sleeping in your bed tonight. You can take his.

They had moved the stack of books on his desk to Meeks’ temporarily, only taking his favourites, and something very muffled inside him began to weep at the sight. Pitts sat him down on the bed which was newly made and shoved him not unkindly into a lying position and tucked the blanket under him on all sides so that he felt enfolded, and said, Sleep. I’m going to bed too.

Not even curfew, Todd said.

Who gives a shit about curfew, said Pitts, it’s some kind of social construct, it doesn’t mean anything. Sleep. You want me to read you a story?

When he woke up again the moon was stark bright and casting light in slabs through the window and the book in Pitts’ hands had slumped to the floor. He had gotten halfway through the Morte d’Arthur. There had been a lake in that, too… He got up and went soundlessly to the window, which did not squeak this time, and climbed out. 

His shoes he left neatly by the bank. When he came back to himself he was already in the water, and it was so lovingly cold he could have cried, and did. The reality of each of his senses came back to life. Cold and cold and cold. He stretched out an arm and the water held it, and a foot and the water held that too. Each spike of ice through his limbs felt sweet. He heard Neil’s voice and saw Neil’s face, saying, No, and he told him No too in return. He would have to take care of himself, now. But he twisted in the water and thought to himself that Pitts would be waiting for him, which was a beginning. 

He pulled himself out of the lake and gasped for long burning moments, heard by no-one, and understood with complete certainty that he was alone. He would always be alone now, in some sense, for the rest of his life. That space within him would be empty. He opened his mouth and said it loudly: “I do not think he is coming back.” There was a relief to the feel of the words in his mouth that made him retch and he started to cry as he retched, ungracefully, sprawled there by the cold and glittering water. 

He cried until the tears and the vomit stopped coming and then he put the heels of his palms on the ground and pushed himself up against them, ignoring the sting. There was a new great and hollow space inside him and a piercing cold clarity and he had left, it seemed, all of his confusion inside the water. He stood up feeling like he had just been born. Then he started walking.

[dedalvs]

Treasure of the Castilian or Spanish Language

My good friend gave me this very small book that was a translation of some of the many thousands of entries from a Spanish dictionary written at the turn of the 17th century. The original was by Sebastián de Covarrubias Horozco, and the dictionary was described, at the time, as "a large work of…slovenly erudition". The translator included only a few entries (the book is 62 pages long), but, let me tell you... You're in for a treat.

Here are some entries from a monolingual Spanish dictionary from 1617:

AJO (GARLIC)

Garlic is so well-known that one need not describe it. Garlic is not a food for courtly people. The leopard abhors the smell of it; if the leopard's lair is scoured with garlic, the leopard forsakes it. Garlic rubbed against the trunk of a tree keeps caterpillars away.

ANDRÓGENO (HERMAPHRODICTIC)

Some say that women have three wombs on the right side and three on the left and one in the middle; some wombs create males, the others females, and the one in the middle hermaphrodites. And others attribute even more wombs to women, and many allow for none of this.

APIO (CELERY)

The symbol of sadness and weeping.

BERENJENA (EGGPLANT)

Eggplants are not beautiful. They taste insipid; they sadden the spirit; they cause headaches; their bad quality comes out in the face of he who eats too many, giving it their livid or dark green color.

C

It is a silent letter. It was called the sad letter.

COCODRILO (CROCODILE)

The crocodile follows the man who flees it, and it flees the man who follows it. It flees from saffron. The crocodile that follows the one who flees it and flees the one who follows it is a symbol of glory and honor. A crocodile surrounded by wasps need not be feared.

DIAMANTE (DIAMOND)

The diamond can be worked with no instrument except another diamond and the hot blood of a goat.

DRAGÓN (DRAGON)

For a serpent to become a dragon, it first had to eat many other serpents.

FADAS (FAIRIES)

Enchanted nymphs or women who pretend they cannot die.

GALLO (ROOSTER)

The rooster has a hidden virtue: when placed in the presence of the lion, it makes the lion run. The rooster always faces its beak to the wind—this keeps its tail feathers composed. Roosters grow livelier with garlic paste.

GIRASOL O TORNASOL (SUNFLOWER)

Salute this plant.

H

Its figure is formed of the light and the strong.

HIEDRA (IVY)

The copyist making a clean copy of my papers left this word between the lines, and many other words remained with it, forgotten, as I was so sick I couldn't write with my own hand or look over what was written in another.

HORMIGA (ANT)

Some ants grow wings to lose themselves.

JIRA (PICNIC)

To a certain friend it seemed that the word "picnic" may have come from the Greek word for "pig," because the day the pig is killed is a day of joy, and because of the many good morsels that the pig provides, and furthermore the whole house rejoices, even the children, who play ball with its bladder. The pig is the rich man who has poor debtors and grunts like a pig his whole life until he dies.

LAMER (LICK)

Sheep lick salt, dogs lick blood they find on the ground. To lick plates is proper to boys who delight in belly cheer.

LECHO (BED)

Delight in leisure grew, and men invented sleeping on the delicate feathers of the breasts of swans and other birds and on mattresses of cotton and wool, and even with all this the delicate can sleep no more than if they threw themselves on brambles and thistles because of the cares and passions pricking their souls.

LEÓN (LION)

The lion isn't as brave as they say. For the Egyptians it symbolized the heart, the sun, the earth, or he who subjugates others' hearts. It suffers from mosquitoes that bite its eyes; it flees from the sight of the rooster and the rooster's voice, particularly if the rooster is white. Why this is so is unknown. Nature provided that this most ferocious of animal be less prolific than the rest, in contrast with the fecundity of the fearful little rabbit. The lion cub ravages its mother's womb with its claws. The lion forgives.

MIEL (HONEY)

Common honey is nothing but dew that falls over the leaves of grass and trees that bees deflower and lick with great appetite, swelling in size until they are forced to vomit.

OSO (BEAR)

It is unwise for brave men who hunt these wild beats to wait and fight them face-to-face, since bears tend to be dangerous.

PULGA (FLEA)

This insect is made from dust and a little dampness.

Q

"Q" is mute, because it sounds like "c" and in a certain lazy way, like "k."

SANGRE (BLOOD)

Blood of the dragon: the true blood of the dragon is the blood that runs from the dragon that has fought with the elephant, which, atop the dragon, crushes it. The dragon tries to cling to the elephant's belly as there the elephant's hide is thin, and the blood that the dragon sucks out mixes with its own and becomes the true blood of the dragon.

SIETE (SEVEN)

There are books written only on this topic.

TÚ (YOU)

A primitive pronoun of the second person.

UFANO (SMUG)

Soaked in joy like the breadcrumb in liquid that loosens and puffs.

VIDRIO (GLASS)

That which pleases us most about glass is its transparence. If glass did not break, silver or gold couldn't compare with it. The Romans used glass clocks. The ancients drank from glass cups with great delight, as do those now for the joy the sight of glass gives us: if you fill it with water, it seems like a diamond, while red wine makes it like a ruby, and white wine, a balas burning with color, a quality that cups of myrrh, being like mirrored black stones, do not possess.

VIGÜELA (VIHUELA)

Very few have learned to play the vihuela since the invention of guitars. This has been a great loss, as the guitar is no more than a cowbell, an instrument so easily played, especially if strummed, that every stable boy plays it.

X

The drunk becomes an "x" because his weak legs cross. A very erudite man censors this letter.

YESO (GYPSUM)

A stone that glints like crystal. A poison. I do not understand how some young women peel the crust off the walls and eat it like icing.

ZUCIO (DIRTY)

Sweat keeps man from being lustrous.

***

This is but a selection. I've omitted the shortened definition of elephant, which was originally twelve pages long (this guy evidently revered elephants—and roosters. And goats. I omitted that one, too, as it was long). The translator is Janet Hendrickson, and you can find this book at ndbooks.com. It's an absolute treasure.

[ask-healthy-light]

It took a moment for the realisation that the little Pup had just verbally spoken to her to dawn on Nox, and she let her mouth hang agape as she tried to think of anything to say, until Courage asked her in somewhat incomplete Ponish if she felt well; but Nox even struggled to answer this question, and she just stood nigh motionlessly facing the Diamond Dog, before she eventually nodded her head.

Only after she blinked a couple of times, and shook her head to get her mind back in working order, was Nox slowly able to utter a few words in utter disbelief, while Courage just sat in front of her with his head slightly tilted to one side; for although she knew that nothing was impossible within the dreams of any being, she would have expected the little Pup to be less experienced at speaking.

Before she could even form so much as half of a complete or coherent sentence, though, Courage told her she did not have to be quick, as the Dragon army they chased off would not be back for at least a little while; but Nox just quietly sighed in response as she put her paws on her face, before she apologised to Courage, and politely asked him for how long he had known about his ability to speak.

With a deep exhale of his own, Courage leaned back, and pensively thought about the first time that he recalled talking to another being, when Nox added that she primarily meant in his dreams, as she had yet to understand a word he uttered while they were both awake; for while she knew that Diamond Dogs were able to talk, she admitted that she had not expected it from such a young and little Pup.

Unfortunately, Courage gasped in shock, and kindly told Nox not to judge him by his size, as he was only small, not young, and he asked her not to talk about him in that way again, as the rest of his litter had bullied him for that exact reason; but this was all behind him, and he would not hold it against her if she promised not to mention his age again, to which she nodded as she offered a paw.

After the two shook paws, they briefly remarked that it was a strange feeling to not shake the claw or hoof of another being, before they moved on, and Nox repeated her question to Courage about when he first realised he could speak; and after Courage thought for a little while, he told her that it was not long after his Master found him, wandering around far away from home, hungry and exhausted.

At that moment, the little Pup softly whined, and sombrely said that he still did not know what the Green Unicorn saw in him, but he spent a long time trying to make him leave the hole in the rock he ran into, telling him many times he would not hurt him, and offering him food and water; and for an entire night, he waited for him to crawl out, and eventually, he was too hungry and thirsty not to.

Every step he took, his entire body shook, but he did not know if it was hunger, fear, or tiredness that made him feel like that, until he ate and drank everything the Unicorn left for him, before he fell asleep; but he awoke at night in a panic, when he found there was a campfire close to him, and a blanket keeping him warm, yet he could not find the Unicorn, until he saw him asleep in the dark.

To his confusion, the Unicorn gave him comforts he was forced to fight for before he left his pack, but for nothing in return, even giving up what little food he had so he could have it; but since he was still shaking in his whole body after he ate and slept, he knew it was fear, and he stayed away from the Unicorn, just in case, but he did slowly creep closer towards him, until he woke up again.

But while he expected the Unicorn to scream, or hurt him, he smiled, and whispered to ask him if he was all right, and sweetly said how brave he was to approach him, when he reached out a hoof, which he carefully sniffed; and while it took even longer before he trusted the Unicorn as much as he did now, he looked after him better than anybody else, so he followed, and grew, but only a little bit.

After Courage quietly chuckled, he said that he learnt a lot from him, too, when Nox replied:

"Boom sounds like he has been a good Master… but now, something is wrong, and he needs help."

(Thanks for reading! And if you enjoyed, please reblog! Thanks in advance!)

Send an ask or request! | Start at the beginning! | Next part!

Featuring: Nox Lunarwing from @nox-lunarwing Boomlord from @thedumbguywithaheart43

[eva-knits12]

A Surprise Baby Shower with a Gender Reveal

Summary: Eva and Colin have a surprise in store.

Trigger warning: Fluff, with some medical stuff, mentions of morning sickness, and the flu.

It's already fall, and right now, I'm five months along. My wonderful fiancee Colin and I have already moved into our small house a month ago, and I can't believe it's November already. I can't believe Colin saved up for a ring, and we had booked a venue months ago. I can't believe our wedding is still six months away, in which our little bean will have already been born, and will be two months old. Our baby is due in the beginning of March, and in May, Colin and I will be husband and wife. Plus, it's my birthday today, and Colin had just proposed to me this morning.

Dickens was resting on by my feet, his tail wagging. Colin and I had just given Dickens his morning walk after we ate our breakfast. Ever since we found out that I'm pregnant, Dickens rarely leaves my side.

"It's a big day for us, Eva. Today we find out if we're having a boy or a girl", said Colin, with excitement in his eyes.

"Happy birthday, my beautiful mom-to-be", said Colin, giving me a loving kiss.

"Thank you, honey" I said.

"Before we go to our appointment today, I love you so much. You've been with me through thick and thin, even when everyone had turned their back on me, and I felt alone and lost. You didn't make me feel alone and lost, you made me feel loved and whole, and you are one strong lady. You are one funny lady, and I am honored that I met you, and I deserve you, and so much more, " said Colin, kissing me again.

"Colin, I love you so much," I said, tearing up.

"Shh, don't cry right now, "Colin said, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

"You love me, even when I don't love myself. You pick me up when I'm sad, you listen to me, and are always there for me," said Colin, kneeling down on one knee in our kitchen. He dug a small, black velvet box out of his pocket, and opened it.

"Will you marry me, Eva?" asked Colin.

"Colin, yes," I said, tearing up at his words, and beautiful proposal.

"Happy birthday, future mom to be", said Colin, kissing me again.

"I love you, future dad to be", I said, kissing him again. I looked at the shiny new piece of jewelry that sat on the third finger of my left hand, that Colin had slid on moments ago.

Dickens barked.

"I think someone's happy for us already, aren't you Dickens?" Colin said, scratching the dog behind his ears,

"Colin, I'm both nervous and excited. Everyone on both sides of our families is popping out boy after boy, I'm convinced there must be testosterone in the water. There needs to be some estrogen in here," I said, not meaning to be funny, but Colin found that rather humorous.

"Okay, okay. We'll go to Doctor Espisito this morning, as scheduled, then we go to my parents house for dinner tonight. You know my mom, she threw me a huge birthday party, and now she's giving us a baby shower, and throwing you a birthday party at the same time" said Colin, as he grabbed my left hand, intertwining my fingers with his, and kissing the third finger on my left hand, where my gold, princess cut engagement ring sat.

Colin helped me in the car, and helped get my seatbelt over my five months pregnant belly. I rubbed my belly, smiling excitedly.

"Mommy and daddy can't wait to meet you, little bean", I said, talking to my belly.

Colin leaned down, giving my pregnant belly a kiss, and then placing his hand on my belly. I had my hand on my belly, rubbing it, when we both felt a little thump.

"Honey, what was that?" Colin asked, excitedly.

"I think our baby just kicked for the first time," I said.

Colin kissed my bump, right where our little bean just kicked.

"Good morning, little bean", Colin said, lovingly.

After we arrived and checked in with Dr. Espisito, we sat down, and waited in the waiting room. I pulled out the baby sweater that I was working on while Colin busied himself by reading the book he had brought along.

After twenty minutes, the nurse called us back, and got us into the exam room. Colin helped me get up on the exam table, and sat in the chair that was next to the table, giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"Whatever we have, boy or girl, just remember I love you, my future wife," said Colin, lovingly. I smiled, as I got a big kick out of that.

"I love you, my future husband," I said, lovingly.

Colin smiled a wide smile again. He got a big kick out of that. He then grabbed my hand, intertwining my fingers with his.

After a while, Doctor Espisito and the knocked on the door, and I told them to come in.

Doctor Espisito and the nurse took all the measurements, and asked me all of the basic questions, and I answered. They were really concerned with my morning sickness a few months ago, as it hadn't gotten better for a while. Eventually, I had to be hospitalized with hypermesis gravidium, which is the morning sickness from hell. It's not just your average, run of the mill morning sickness, it's WAY worse than that.

I even told them that the baby kicked for the first time, and that was an event that was amazing and really cool.

"Well, I'm still concerned about that, even though you're doing better right now. You haven't had any symptoms for the last two months, but I'm still concerned, as it can return."

Her nurse, was busy taking my blood pressure, and even asked me to pee in the cup, since I really had to pee, and was about to pee myself if I didn't get to a bathroom soon.

"Well, that's good. That just means that the baby is sitting on your bladder right now," said Doctor Espisito.

"I'll put this over here, so we can test it", said the nurse.

"You are running a low-grade fever, so I'm concerned about that. It's most likely nothing to worry about," said Doctor Espisito.

The doctor and the nurse tested my pee sample, and discovered something on my chart that raised concern.

"Eva, we don't want to alarm you, but the reason for your low-grade fever is that you have the flu right now, said Doctor Espisito, concern in her voice.

"How is that possible when you're pregnant?" asked Colin.

"It's very common, especially with pregnant women. It just means that she couldn't get her flu shot, as scheduled:, said Doctor Espisito.

Oh, I mean with the baby and all, and this pregnancy being completely unplanned, I'll start using condoms again from now on," Colin said. I couldn't help but laugh when Colin said that.

"What, honey?" asked Colin, a smile spreading across his face.

"Okay, after the shower, I'll make sure you get plenty of rest, and drink plenty of fluids, and have plenty of chicken soup", said Colin.

"Sounds like a plan," I said, laughing at my fiancee. Colin always has a way of making me laugh, even in the most serious of situations.

"Okay, I'll bring in the ultrasound, and get the ultrasound tech", said the nurse.

A few minutes later, the ultrasound tech and the nurse came in the room with the machine. The nurse helped spread the cold jelly on my stomach, and the ultrasound tech started to look around, waving the transducer wand over my belly.

"Everything looks good so far, " said Doctor Espito, looking at the ultrasound on her tablet.

"Do you want to know the gender?" said the ultrasound tech.

"YES!" Colin and I both said in unison.

"Okay, usually I give couples a few minutes to discuss things, but I can tell you're both eager beavers," said the ultrasound tech.

"Everything looks good, and the baby is in position, and your baby will be a healthy, strong, amazing baby girl", said the ultrasound tech.

"We're having a girl!" Colin and I both said, in unison.

"The string has been broken," Colin said, his lips crashing onto mine.

"I love you, future girl dad", I said.

"I love you, future girl mom," said Colin, his lips crashing on mine again,

"Okay, do you want the print out?" said Doctor Espisito.

"Yes!" Colin and I both said.

"Based on the way you were so sick, I knew it was a girl," said the nurse. "My sister wasn't as sick as you were, Eva, but she was still sick, she knew it was a girl. My mom was really sick with both me and my sister, and she knew it was a girl. I was really sick with my daughter, Jojo, and I knew it was a girl," said Jennifer, my nurse. It turned out, we both grew up in Detroit, and our paths crossed in elementary school, but we didn't realize we knew each other then when our paths crossed in adulthood.

"Okay, so the old wives tales are true", I said.

"There is some truth to them", said Doctor Espisito. "They're still not accurate, but they do hold a lot of truth. But every pregnancy is so different", said Doctor Espisito.

"We'll make your next appointment, and then we'll start discussing a birth plan, and go over several birthing options", said Doctor Espisito.

I made the next appointment, scheduled a month from now.

Colin helped me back in the car, helping me with my seatbelt, kissing my belly again.

"Okay, our next stop is your mom's," I said.

"Honey, you have the flu. I can always call my mom, and she can postpone this," said Colin. "I just want you to get better," said Colin, giving me another kiss to the forehead.

When we got to my future Mother-in-law's, she had everyone gather in the living room.

"Given the way she was sick during the first three months, and had to be in hospital, I know what she's having," said Esther, in her Irish brogue. "Besides, I was never that sick with the boys."

"I just know it's a girl," said Joan.

"Yeah, it's a girl, definitely a girl", said Jenny, my best friend.

"Shh, they'll be here any minute, said Esther.

John looked out the window, and saw our car pull into the driveway.

"They're here!" said John.

"Surprise! Happy birthday, Eva!" said everyone.

"You guys didn't have to do this!" I said, Colin placing one hand on my back, the other he placed on my growing bump.

"Let's have our lunch first, and then we'll get the shower/birthday party started." Jenny said.

Esther had made sure to get some warm corned beef sandwiches with cabbage, and some vegetable soup for the birthday party/baby shower.

We all ate our lunch, and Esther asked if I was okay.

"The baby's fine, but when Colin and I get home, I'm to go straight to bed," I said.

"Are you sick, dear?" asked Esther.

"Esther, I have the flu. Luckily, the doctor knew it was the flu, and there just isn't much that we can do, with me being pregnant, and all." I said,

Colin joined his dad and his brothers in the den for a while, so we all eat and gossip for a while.

After a while, Colin came out, and helped me with everything.

"Okay, everyone! Colin and I will do the gender reveal", I said, with Colin holding the envelope.

Colin handed me the envelope, and I slowly opened it, being careful not to rip the contents inside.

"Colin and I are having a girl!" I said.

"We knew it!" said Jenny.

"Okay, let's open the gifts, and then we'll have the cake", said Esther.

Colin, Esther, John, and his brothers all helped me with the gifts. I got so much birthday gifts and baby shower gifts. I didn't know how Colin and I were going to get this home.

After everything, Colin helped me get in the car, and I fell asleep on the way home. Colin leaned over to help me get my seat belt off, and picked me up, and carried me back inside the house. He then put my pajamas on, and put a garbage can next to me, given that I had the flu and everything.

For the next few days, Colin made sure I stayed in bed, brought me plenty of chicken soup, and refused to leave my side. Dickens was always on the bed, resting his head on my stomach, and making sure that his new human-to-be would always be protected.

[talesfromthegraavim]

THE OMEN CARDS AND THEIR MEANINGS

COLORS

Black: End/Beginning, Death, Challenge

White: Purity,  Newness, Youth

Yellow: Sun, Blessing or Curse, Control, Watchfulness

Orange: Soil, Sand, Blank slate, Opportunity

Red: Blood- shared or spilt, Vitality

Brown: Shelter, Community

Green: Growth, Health

Blue: Water, Cleanliness, Nourishment, Freedom

Purple: Rarity, Scarcity, Luck

Pink: Positive surprise, Feast, Bounty, Love ===================================

COLOR/OBJECT CARDS:

Black Car: Death, Challenge, Outpaced, Enemy, Running out of time

White Eggs: Birth, Fragility, New start

Yellow Star: Leadership, Violence, Control

Orange Cat: Chance to rest, Restart in comfort, Watch and wait

Red Apple: Reunion, Bonds of blood and brotherhood, Fundamental trust

Brown Bear: Strength in community, Close ranks, Defense

Green Bug: Pay attention to details, Sickness, Loss, Famine

Blue Bird: FREEDOM, Release, Victory

Purple Shoe: Luck on your journey, Mind your steps, Leave no loose ends

Pink Pig: Feast, Bounty, Extravagance, Fullness ===============================================

SHAPES: (Outline only means lack of, or problem area, Shape+Color has the meaning of both)

Rectangle: Job, Task, Field to till

Square: Home, Family, Gift

Diamond: Spirituality, Spiritual Strength, Working together

Triangle: Journey, Goal, Direction

Star: Confusion, Differing Opinion, Leadership

Oval: Self+Other(s), Relationships

Circle: Self, Journey

Heart: Togetherness to reach a goal =============================================

SHAPE/OBJECT CARDS

Rectangle/Clock: Job with a time crunch, Move fast

Square/Present: Boon for community, Birth

Diamond/Kite: Spiritual freedom, Discovery, Fly high but mind the ties that bind

Triangle/Pizza: Gold at the end of the rainbow, Success, Indulgence, Lost treasure

Star/Starfish: Opportunity, Split Path, Choice to be made 

Circle/Wheel: Your journey, Movement, Path Made Easier

Heart/Heart: Building or built community, Reaching Goals ================================================

DUALITY CARDS

Open / Closed, Treasure Chest: Yes/No. Go For It / Stop And Rethink

In / Out, Doghouse: Work With Group / Go It Alone. Stay Home / Seek Outside

Over / Under, Cat and Stool: Open Rebellion/ Quiet Subterfuge. RUN NOW / Wait It Out

Day / Night, Window: You’re Being Watched / Watch Your Enemy. Lead to Freedom/ Being Lead to Death ========================================================

NUMBERS

1.Frog: Lone Hero, Forgotten Self, Unexpected Ally

2.Suns: Seek Shelter, Find Home

3.Cups/Mugs: Share Blessings, Mind Your Loved Ones

4.Teddy Bears: Inner Child, Back To Basics, Memory

5.Wagons: Time To Go, Choose a Leader

6.Cows: Abundance, Blessing, Success

7.Bats: Fear, Darkness, Bolting, Misunderstandings

8.Fish: Lost or Forgotten Gift, Rarity

9.Worms: Circle Of Life, Renewal, Little Things Add Up

10.Balls: Be Playful, Roll With It =================================================

ALPHABET (Also indicates name of person/place):

(A) Apple: trust, reunion

(B) Bear: strength, childhood

(C) Cat: protection, comfort, wariness

(D) Dog: loyalty, bonds of choice

(E) Elephant: wisdom, mystery, mysticism 

(F) Fish: forgotten gift

(G) Goat: riches, nourishment

(H) Horse: faith, movement

(I) Ice Cream: old knowledge, gift from the gods

(J) Jar: SHUT UP, secrets, keep it on the down-low

(K) Kite: false freedom, ties that bind, staying grounded

(L) Lion: fierceness, family, pride

(M) Mouse: spy, hidden things, hiding places

(N) Nest: home, returning, cycles, 

(O) Oranges: health, vitality, treat

(P) Pen: history, learning

(Q) Queen: benevolence, motherhood, sisterhood

(R) Rain: blessing, 

(S) Snake: betrayal, defense, warning

(T) Tree: life, stubbornness, will to thrive

(U) Umbrella: Faustian bargain, false blessings

(V) Van: new family unit, marriage, children, coming together

(W) Well: greed, being mindful, caring for others

(X) X: Leave, Stop, Danger, No

(Y) Yo-yo: inconsistency, lying, troubled path ahead

(Z) Zebra: death, harm, curse, insurmountable challenge (or is it?)

[yourturntofnaf]

anzu playlist !! requested by @corvidcrowned

I was hoping I could make this one longer, but I put a whole lot of thought into what I was able to add. I'm hoping to add more if I think of anything

since this one had a lot of specific (or vague) reasoning behind it that might not make sense on their own I thought I would give a little explanation for each (under the cut)

I felt like a lightbulb went off in my brain when i thought of "stay strange" for this playlist. it's such a cute and upbeat song that I just love for her. everything about it is perfect for sweet old anzu

evening out with your girlfriend by fall out boy fits her on an aesthetic level (the sound is young, fun, and energetic, along with the album having some of her color pallet) so I felt the world's not waiting for us and parker lewis can't lose would by nice additions. the world's not waiting kinda reminds me of her minisode ("this might just be a waste of time / there's no one I'd rather waste all my time with than all my best friends"), and parker lewis has a theme of misspeaking or having your ideas and suggestions misunderstood ("I've got a big mouth, maybe you could handle shutting it up" and "in the mean time, I'm just talking with my shoes / converse with my converse, atleast they hear a word I say")

she's a handsome woman by panic! at the disco, along with I took your picture and right words by cults fall into the category of "I can't give a reason this fits her personally, but it's a vibe she might enjoy"

secret shame as a band reminds me of anzu a lot in an artistic sense (their lead singer does very bright looks at their shows, with clown-esque makeup), and I decided crystal kind could somewhat fit her? I associated it to what the aftermath of ryuus sudden departure could've been like as it would probably have a major impact on her to lose her mentor so suddenly. I'm slightly more confident in the addition of accelerate, also by the same band. the verses recite a thought process that has a lot to do with the fear of being judged by others, which is one of the first things anzu expresses to us. seriously though, go check this band out! they're awesome

flowers grow out of my grave by dead mans bones also hits that category of little reasoning beyond I think she might like it. it's a cute little song that I think would make her happy

I felt like my typical artists were failing me on finding anzu approved songs, so I went to some indie artists I like. hush by attack dog stuck out, once again hitting the topic of anzu's thought process post ryuus departure ("too many melodies revolve within me / I just shut my eyes, wait for it to subside"). she seems to be the type to push suspicions or troubling thoughts out (mostly seen how she handles justifying the suspicions of ryuu already having a uniform that would be perfect for her)

by this point, I'm scratching the absolute bottom of the barrel. we're talking searching through my 2020 playlist. I found this one song I heard an artist play in a coffee shop like 4 years ago, "diamond girl" by courtlyn louise. I can slightly relate this to anzus fear of being judged as strange... maybe? maybe you can consider this to how she might view her friend for the minisode (who honestly seems a tad bit judgemental and I would not be shocked if this somewhat fuels her insecurity I've mentioned). like I said, we're getting a little desperate here.

cannot believe it took me this long, but I finally put it together to check some of the cures softer stuff. jumping on someone else's train made the playlist for the trend of non conformity and embracing doing things differently. also picked underneath the stars as a song she'd enjoy, and to fill a slot that often comes up in character playlists for a song that you can associate with your favorite ship of them.

and with that, thats about all I could think of. apologies that this one is shorter than the rest, it appears my music taste doesn't have much overlap with how I perceive anzu which was kinda expected. this was really fun though and it made me think of parts of anzus character I never really did before ^u^

note: any songs that I associate with ryuu that have lyrics that imply romanticism are not at all intended in that way, I do not ship them. I use songs that may have been written with some romantic intent but are not inherently love songs to fit platonic or otherwise non romantic dynamics in my own life and occasionally on character playlists just because it is near impossible to find songs that have absolute 0 hint of possible romance

fun fact if you give me a yttd character I will make a playlist for them. probably.

[erodasfishtacos]

Hiii bestie!!! Could you write about y/n being in danger and gang Harry gets all worried and scared (of course) and saves her. (I love your stories so much)

warning: violence, blood, guns

Harry was waiting for YN at home after she was going to the store to buy tampons (he offered to go but he normally bought the wrong kind).

He’s watching a game of football as he also continuously glances at the clock - keeping time of how long she’s been gone.

After twenty-five minutes, he gets a bit impatient, he wanted to start their movie night (sue him sometimes he liked cute romantic shit).

When he rings her mobile, it picks up after the first ring, and what he hears next sends a straight chill down his spine.

“We were waiting for you to call, Diablo,” A gruff, smokey voice rasps through the speaker of his wife’s phone.

His heart fucking drops but anger takes over in mere seconds as he’s off the couch and storming to their secret weapons room through a hidden passageway.

“What the fuck do y’cunts want?” Harry hisses furiously, unsure of who exactly this voice belongs to on the other end.

He hears a whimper in the background. He’d know that sound anywhere - usually he heard it when she was underneath him but right now it sounded pained and scared.

“If you fuckin’ hurt - I guarantee you that your whole family will be dead by tomorrow,” Harry promises, pushing down the panic as he grabs a duffel to begin shoving a shotgun and assault rifle in.

His desert eagle was tucked in his waistband already - were it always sat.

On his burner phone, he manages to text and send out the GPS location of where his wife is at - idiots most likely don’t know that he has a tracker on her phone.

There was also a GPS tracker embedded in the ‘H’ necklace she always wore right behind the three small diamonds so no one would ever be able to spot it.

“Business. We know you have a shipment going into the South Bay at midnight. Rumor has it you have 6 million pounds of coke on their,” The man replies.

Bingo.

Harry automatically realizes that this dude is a fucking idiot and fell for a diversion tactic - that shipment was being delivered on the other side of the city at three in the morning.

He didn’t get to be the most dangerous, successful gang leader without his own skills and manipulation of his own.

Harry always had to try to pick off the rats and snitches in his gang because people like to squeal for money and drugs.

Every opportunity he got, he told a couple of his rookie members fake information to see if they’d betray him.

It looks like someone was given fake information that Harry had fed two newer members earlier in the week.

“Why the fuck would y’idiots just sneak attack? Why the fuck d’you have my wife?” Harry snarls, getting a influx of text from his associates stating they’re on their way.

“We were actually going to be nice, just hold her until you agree - not hurt her, you know? But your little bitch managed to kill two of my men before we could wrangle her.”

Thatta girl.

God, he really fucking loved his wife and had no fear of putting his on life on the line to protect her - would take a bullet for her any day.

“I can’t wait t’find you and torture you until you’re begging for me to just put you out of your misery,” Harry promises, his heart pounding, vein protruding from his forehead.

“You really shouldn’t threaten me when I have this pretty little number of yours tied up to a chair with a gun to her head,” The man laughs with amusement, “I’ll have you talk to her now.”

Harry hears the man bark at YN, “Speak bitch!”

“He-hello?” YN whimpers pathetically, “Baby, I need help.”

And it sounds wrong - but relief flushes through him at the sound of her pleas. It was completely an act because it’s not truly how she sounds when she’s scared.

“Brat, y’faking it right now right?” Harry makes sure, getting onto the interstate - uncaring of stop signs and red lights.

“Yes. Yes, come get me. Yes, baby,” YN continues and god, she could win an Oscar for her performance and it really shouldn’t get him hard right now.

-

When he pulls up to a brick building that looks abandoned, his men are already shooting with visible bodies collapsed on the floor.

Harry yanks his favorite assault rifle out of his trunk, tugging the strap over his head, and positioning it as he strides forward.

“Boss, we haven’t cleared it completely. You can’t go in yet,” Niall informs him as he reload quickly, breathing heavy.

“I don’t fuckin’ care. My wife’s in there,” Harry snaps, quickly taking out the last two visible men before he is able to step through the door.

He is about to turn a corner and a man steps out from behind it - Harry doesn’t hesitate to lay his heavily-clad ringed knuckles straight into his face knocking him down before landing one fatal shot.

When he steps into a bare, musky old basement - his beautiful wife is tied to a chair, ropes keeping her arms tied behind her, and a cloth in her mouth.

“‘Bout time you showed up,” The rival states, standing behind his wife with a gun running along her skin.

She’s still in her holey tee shirt and biker shorts with white sneakers that were blood sodden like her clothing.

Harry illuminates pure fury when his gaze meets her - but her eyes are twinkling like she knows something he doesn’t.

He noticed that there was a high concentration of blood near her left side and that the fabric was torn - he had cut her and she was bleeding.

But she spits out the rag, rasping out to her husband in a teasing tone, “Took you long enough, dickhead,” before she’s slipping her hands from the restraints that she had gotten out of in mere minutes.

Her hand goes right for the man’s crotch - taking him by complete surprise, he hunches over and YN is able to get off the chair and knee him straight in the nose.

“S’your turn now,” YN replies, “I need to bandage this to stop the bleeding - it’s just superficial.”

Harry doesn’t remember much from that point on beside the fact that he pulled that man’s teeth out one by one and just as he had told him - by the time Harry was done with him he’d being begging for death.

And boy did he beg for Harry to just end it because Harry’s torture methods was worse than being dead to the world.

After he’s done, he nods at his men to clean up the mess, and finds his wife instantly, intertwining their hands and assuring her, “I’ll stick y’up when we get home.”

-

YN’s sat on their bathroom countertop in nothing but a clean pair of underwear after Harry had gently bathed her dirt and blood away.

She had quieted, the confidence and adrenaline having faded off, and she lets out a loud whimper when he begins to thread the needle through her tender, swollen skin.

“M’sorry, my queen,” Harry apologizes sympathetically as he threads through to close up the wound.

“Hurts,” His wife hisses with a crack in her voice, hands resting on his bare shoulders as he concentrates on her side.

“It’s done, did s’good baby,” He murmurs encouragingly, disposing of the items before cupping her jaw, “How are y’feelin’?”

“I’m fine,” She replies instantly, swallowing and avoiding his gaze.

“You’re not okay and that’s okay,” Harry reminds her, chest hurting when tears start to dribble down her cheeks.

“I was scared,” She whispers, “And all I wanted was you.”

“Baby, baby fuckin’ look at me,” Harry urges, tilting her chin up and hands coming to massage at her thighs, “M’sorry I wasn’t there right away, I fucking would die for you.”

It was amazing how much YN changed Harry.

-

Jaymee was a really sweet girl, bright puppy dog eyes and a wide smile with cherub cheeks, “That was amazing,” she had giggles after Harry rolls off of her.

“Get the fuck out now,” He dismisses, swinging his legs off the bed and pulling on his briefs.

Her face drops, “But…we just? I thought tha-“

Harry cuts her off there, crushing the cute girl’s dreams when he scoffs, “Y’thought what? I didn’t want anything from you but your cunt. I don’t cuddle or give a single fuck - so get the fuck out.”

-

“You’re my soulmate, fuckin’ crazy with how gone I am for you,” Harry follows the sentence but a line of kisses across her breasts and collarbones.

“Please, need it,” YN requests lowly, hand coming to tangle into his curls and lead him to her breast to suck at her hard nipple.

“Y’side, brat,” Harry reminds her, “Let just lay y’out, make y’come, and then we can cuddle, okay?”

And he does, spread her out on their bed, licks deep into her until she’s quivering with pleasure, and then tucks her right into his chest and he soothes her to sleep.

[jewishtommycoolatta]

a proposal

Word Count: 1270

Ship: Freelatta (Tommy x Gordon)

No major TWs.

—–

Tommy wants to propose. It goes as well as you'd expect.

—–

Maybe the dog park wasn’t the best place to do this.

No, now wasn’t the time for doubt. Tommy had been planning this for weeks, he couldn’t just back out now.

He’d basically bled the local library dry of every book about marriage and marriage proposals that he could find. Unfortunately none were really like a full-fledged manual on how to do it, but hours of scouring the internet for proposal how-tos left him with what he hoped was enough to cover most of his bases. (He had also approached Dr. Coomer for help, but. Well. Stealing a motorcycle on the way out of the courthouse after finalizing your divorce with your ex-wife didn’t really seem like it would woo Gordon.)

Step one: buy a ring. Obviously the most important part.

Gordon didn’t like to wear his prosthetic hand too much, so it was easy for Tommy to sneak a finger measurement from it while he wasn’t looking. His father gave him helpful advice on ring sizing and color matching, a strange amusement etched into his face as Tommy rambled about all the research he’d been doing into this.

His father gently pointed out that maybe he was being a little bit overly-anxious about this as Tommy stared daggers into the ring case at the store. Of course he was wrong, he was just trying his best to pick the absolute perfect one.

It had to be perfect. It was for Gordon.

Eventually he settled on a small silver ring, dotted with white diamonds around the band and a triangular yellow diamond as the centerpiece. Yellow was a happy color, psychologically. Gordon said it made him happy.

No particular reason why. Just psychology.

Step two: plan the event.

That's how he ended up at the dog park-- it was the best place he could come up with. Sure there were lots of other, more stereotypically acceptable places he could have chosen, like a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, or the beach, or on a nice vacation, but…

Gordon and Tommy both hated fancy food, and Gordon was terrified of the water now, and Tommy was not particularly a fan of travel or airplanes.

He didn’t think Gordon would like a proposal at Chuck E Cheese’s, so…. dog park it was.

The dog park was nice. Open and bright, with visible exits and. Well. Lots of cute dogs.

A lot of comfort. A place they knew.

Gordon would like it, right?

At the very least he had the rest of the science team (plus his father and Darnold) here. It was a last minute decision, really, but the proposal lined up with their weekly planned meet-ups.

“We’ll be there to support you!” Dr. Coomer had said with a wink.

“I wanna see it go wrong,” Bubby had said.

Dr. Coomer and Bubby then fought violently. It was a typical day.

Anyways, here they all were, surrounding a picnic bench. Tommy and Gordon were sitting with their backs to the table, watching Joshua run around with Sunkist, while everyone else (except Benrey, who had laid on his stomach in the grass to watch an anthill) was crammed onto the other bench, watching the two lovebirds expectantly.

Step three: actually do it.

That was the hard part.

He glanced back at everyone else. They all had bright smiles on their faces. Bubby was-- uh, snickering. Disheartening. Darnold waved his hands at him. Go on!

Ok. Ok! He could do this. He had read all the books and bought the perfect ring and had the support of his friends and father.

��Um… G- uh, Gordon?” He grasped the other man’s hand.

“Yeah?” He turned his head halfway towards Tommy, still keeping a close eye on Josh.

Sparing one last nervous glance at the others at the table, he slid off the bench and onto one knee in front of the other man, pulling that special black suede box out of his pocket.

One hand grasping Gordon's and the other presenting that delicate yellow ring he had spent so long deciding on, he asked Gordon to marry him.

The man gawked at Tommy, full attention now on him and that little, yet so important ring.

His shoulders shook a little, his face contorting in a strange way-- and Tommy thought maybe he was so overcome he would cry, but he bent his head and weird cackle came out--

And he was laughing.

He was howling, actually, head suddenly thrown back and his body shaking with so much force it felt like it was rattling Tommy’s arm out of his own shoulder socket.

Behind him, the science team shared their own reactions to this, with Dr. Coomer letting out a loud “Oh my!” and Bubby laughing on his own. Darnold was shaking his own head with a soft giggle. Even his own father was battling an amused smile. Benrey was still face-first in the dirt.

What was this? Some kind of cruel joke?

Tommy looked quickly between Gordon, still laughing, and the rest of the science team, his eyes growing in a new fear that he’d somehow been made into a joke he didn’t get.

“Why are-- why are you laughing?”

“I’m not-- I’m not laughing at you, I promise, I--” Gordon wheezed out, trying to control himself. He dropped Tommy’s hand and reached into his own pocket, pulling out…

A little black suede box. An ornate silver band, studded with small white diamonds, with a sparkling triangular green emerald in the center.

His own engagement ring.

“You-- you were--?!”

“I was-- I was! I was gonna--”

Neither of them could finish their sentences, the ridiculousness and utter excitement of the situation overwhelming them. The others were all laughing now too, obviously having known about both planned proposals and setting up this event.

How funny, he had been so, so worried about this-- but Gordon must have worried just as much.

Tommy started laughing too.

He laughed, and laughed, and burst into tears.

“What-- hey! Tommy, Tommy, hey--” Both rings had been dropped and forgotten on the ground now, Gordon reaching to caress his new fiance’s face.

“whuh the hell. why’d you make tommy cry. mean,” Benrey said, voice muffled from speaking into the dirt.

“Gordon, you’re a monster!” Dr. Coomer added, cheerily as ever.

“Can you guys shut up?!” Gordon yelled behind him.

“I’m sorry m-- I’m-- I’m just really ha--happy,” Tommy sobbed out. And it was true; his eyes glowed so bright Gordon thought he might be blinded, just like that first time.

Despite his tears, Tommy pulled Gordon’s hand to his lips and gently kissed his knuckles, picking his chosen ring up from the grass and sliding it onto the other man’s finger.

His sobs subsided into sniffles by the time Gordon had reached down to take that stunning emerald ring, sparkling so beautifully in the midday sun, and slip it on Tommy’s own hand.

It fit perfectly, just like Gordon's hand in his.

"yooo what did i miss" Benrey said, having apparently finally stood up from the dirt during the commotion. His face was covered in ants.

"You are fucking COVERED in ants dude!" Gordon yelled.

"what? no i'm not"

"It's not polite to lie to a friend, Gordon!" Dr. Coomer said.

"YES YOU-- HE IS! LOOK AT HIS FACE! TOM-- TOMMY! LOOK AT HIM!" Gordon screamed, gesticulating wildly at Benrey who was very much, in fact, covered in ants.

Tommy tapped Gordon's hand he was holding and gave him a serious look. "Lying w-- Lying is a sin, Gordon."

Gordon screamed.

Yeah. This was the best place to do this.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (April 25/2021) - The Red Banquet

The day has finally come.

All the preparations have been completed. The invitations have been sent out. Everything has been leading up to this moment, and the Eggpire is ready to make their move.

It’s time for the Red Banquet.

A brief summary of the week’s total events can be found at the end of the post.

---

VOD LINKS:

Captain Puffy

Badboyhalo

Antfrost

Eret

Skeppy

Ranboo

---

- Puffy walks around on the surface. Everything is prepared, the armor is where it should be. She hopes everything will go well.

- Everyone is dressed up for the occasion (except George). Hannah, Niki, Fundy, Eret, George and HBomb are all there.

- Bad says hello to Ponk in the Egg Room. Ponk tells him that no one has arrived yet. Antfrost greets them by the entrance and they go up the stairs to find Niki waiting. 

- Puffy and the other guests soon enter the room as well. Antfrost points them towards a coat room where they can put all their items. Foolish arrives with the Rolexes. They drink some cider, head to the dance floor and play some tunes.

- Bad comes over and greets Puffy. Foolish informs Bad that he peed on the Egg. Sam also has a dumpy and HBomb has two of Fundy’s cocks. 

- Antfrost goes off to speak with Ponk alone and check for some last guests. They watch as George arrives.

Ant: “He looks sort of lost, but that’s okay -- we welcome everybody here.”

Ponk: “Hold up...I don’t know...hmm. Hmm...”

Ant: “I mean, he looks harmless enough.”

Ponk: “We need to get a real good look at him first. Quickly.”

Ponk: “I don’t know what that’s about.”

Ant: “I don’t know. Well, we’ll just keep an eye on him.”

Ponk: “Yeah...”

- They then go speak to HBomb and Niki. H hasn’t stopped dancing

HBomb: “I’m doing my best impersonation of a white dad.”

...

Ant: “Did you guys notice that the guy over there -- George -- just sort of wandered in? He seems sort of lost.”

Ponk: “I feel like he’s hiding something.”

- From the walls, Ranboo in a shadowy outfit can be seen watching. 

- HBomb is the DJ.

- Bad comes over to say that dinner is ready. Bad tells Puffy that they have shrimp cocktails and they all go to sit at the table. Some people are in jail and weren’t able to attend. Ponk cooked all the food.

- Bad welcomes the guests to give toasts to the meal.

First up is Foolish, who says that he hopes that after today, nobody has to say “turn a new leaf” or “let bygones be bygones” ever again. Everyone has come here in agreement in the hope of something new.

Next is Eret. 

Eret: “As the monarch of the SMP, it’s awesome to be able to maybe see the SMP going back to being reunified again, and seeing all of us not have to worry about fighting each other on different sides. I hope this is a new chapter of the entire community as a whole. Cheers to that.”

Then Ponk steps up. Long ago, an old, wise man told him “People change like the tides in the ocean.” Now he truly knows they do.

Puffy steps forward. Bad and Antfrost, she considers as friends, and the Egg has separated them. She hopes this brings them all together and makes the server more peaceful. 

George was asleep twenty minutes ago. He asks about the soup. Ponk says it’s made from organic, free-range beets.

Finally, Bad says he appreciates everyone coming. This is the perfect opportunity for everyone to come together and let bygones be bygones. To set aside past issues to grow and advance forward, even with the wrongs that have been done. 

- He nods to Antfrost, who breaks a block behind them, revealing a button. Antfrost presses it.

Bad: “I was very, very happy that we were able to gather everybody here together for what is, I’m sure, going to be a banquet that none of us are ever going...to...forget.”

- Lava starts pouring down from the ceiling, walling them in.

Bad: “Yep. Prepare to die.”

- Everyone panics. 

- Puffy tells Bad that she didn’t trust the Eggpire anyway, and planned for this. She removes the cover from the table and looks into the chest -- it’s empty.

- They watch as the Eggpire members all don the diamond armor that Puffy and Sam had prepared. Hannah says she had to do it, had to tell them. For the Egg.

- Sam says that he had another plan, because he didn’t trust the Eggpire. He’s tired of all this fighting, and it’s about time that they blow up the Egg for good this time.

- Sam flicks the TNT lever and the explosives rain down on the Egg. When they explode, though, the Egg turns into crying obsidian instead of getting destroyed, reverting back to normal Egg blocks after a few seconds.

- After Quackity’s attack, Bad and the others took preparations to make sure that the Egg wouldn’t be vulnerable to TNT anymore. Now, it’s time for the executions.

Bad: “You see, the Egg needs something, and it’s gonna get it from each of you. See, in order for the Egg to hatch, it needs energy. And it gets that energy by people dying near it. And that’s the role that you guys are gonna fill! We’re gonna kill you, one by one--”

Eret: “You’re a monster.”

Bad: “What’d you say, Eret?”

Eret: “You’re an absolute monster. How could you. We all trusted you, Bad!”

Ponk: “Trust! Okay, Eret. Keep talking. Keep talking about trust.”

Eret: “...That was a long time ago.”

- Bad says that Eret is the perfect person to sacrifice first! He leads Eret to a spot in front of the Egg lined with Netherite blocks.

- Foolish steps forward, saying he’s had enough. The Egg can shield itself against TNT, but can it withstand lightning?

- Nothing happens. Bad laughs.

Bad: “You really thought, Foolish? You thought you could enter the Egg’s domain and beat it in a battle of power? Come on...you’re in the Egg’s territory, Foolish.”

- The Egg is suppressing Foolish. Ant suggests they start with Foolish instead and take Eret’s life later.

- Puffy steps forward. She and Antfrost shout at each other. Puffy says she gave them chance after chance. Antfrost says that Puffy betrayed them first.

Ant: “Foolish, your own son, is about to be slaughtered because of you!”

Puffy: “I’m only one person!”

Foolish: “Puffy, Puffy, it’s okay, it’s not your fault--”

Puffy: “NO! It’s not alright!”

Ant: “Puffy, you could have stopped this if you had stayed with the Eggpire. But this is your fault.”

- Antfrost kills Foolish with a sword.

---

CANON DEATH: FOOLISH

Cause: Sacrificed by Antfrost to the Egg

---

- Everyone screams in horror. The Eggpire wonders who to kill next.

- Suddenly, Quackity shouts at them to stop and drops into the room. He tells Bad to calm down. He puts on diamond armor.

- Quackity tells them they’ve just killed a man, asking if this is what they wanted. Bad tells him that he’s doing all this for the Egg, for what the Egg can give them.

Quackity: “I’m telling you, Bad, you’re a pawn to power. You’re nobody, Bad. You’re working for something that, quite frankly, doesn’t even care about you. I mean look at the Egg, look at the Egg! Look at what it means! It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything, Bad. So how about...how about we just stop playing games.”

- As Quackity monologues, he subtly slips Puffy a Netherite axe, potion of strength and a golden apple.

- Bad can’t stop, or else he can’t get what he needs. 

Bad: “Guess what, Quackity. If you wanted to stop us, you should’ve brought more than just yourself. You should’ve brought an army.”

Quackity: “Guess what, Bad? I did! I did. In fact, I brought the next best thing...I brought my biggest enemy!”

- Technoblade logs on and drops into the room, his hoard of dogs following.

- Not only that...Quackity also went looking across the lands for the best mercenary he could find. Purpled drops into the room as well.

Bad: “We HIRED you to take out Puffy, and you join the enemy’s side?!”

Purpled: “Bad, to be frank with you, Quackity just had the better price.”

- Techno explains that he didn’t want to work with Quackity, but the Egg is too great a danger to the server and it’s against everything he stands for.

- Suddenly, Puffy jumps forward with her axe, attacking Ant. The Eggpire is shocked that she has a weapon.

Puffy: “You’ve taken my kindness for weakness, Antfrost!”

---

CANON DEATH: ANTFROST

Cause: Killed by Puffy with an axe

---

- A fight breaks out. Bad shouts for the remaining Eggpire members to retreat. They run out. Quackity orders Purpled to go track them down.

- Bad leads the Eggpire out. They can regroup later. For now, they have to run. They have to split up. They can’t get caught, they have to stay safe and go as fast as they can.

- Alone, Bad thinks to himself.

Bad: “This is such a trainwreck. This whole plan...everything was for this moment! And it’s gone! They -- they have the Egg now...they have it. What can I do? I can’t do anything! I need to get out of here. I need resources...”

“Wait, I know where I can go. I know who I can see...but the Egg, the Egg is -- it’s in their possession right now. What can I do? What can I do against it? I can’t do anything, they have it! I needed the Egg, I needed...I needed what it was gonna give. It was gonna help me get what I wanted, but now they have it...they have it...I just...I just wanted what...I just wanted what it could give me.”

“I didn’t really -- I didn’t really want to hurt anybody. I just wanted what it could give me, but...I don’t know. Did I screw up? Am I in the wrong here? I don’t know...I just need to go. I need to get out of here.”

- Bad starts rowing away into the ocean.

- Quackity asks Sam what to do next. The Egg is invincible.

- Purpled lost them in the labyrinth. Sam says he’ll build a prison for the Egg if he has to. He wants to find a way to destroy it, but for now they need to lock it away where it can’t be accessed.

- Quackity makes sure everyone is alright. They then exit the room through the whole in the wall. Quackity tells Techno to come with him and Sam to talk. They leave the others to escape the rest of the way.

- They make it to the surface, relieved. HBomb hands them all soup to remember the event by.

- Puffy goes off on her own down the Prime Path. While she talks to herself, Ranboo walks down the path with potion particles coming off of him.

Puffy: “What did I do? What -- I...My son died! And I killed my best friend! I...I need to find Foolish. I...I don’t even know who I am anymore. The life I swore to protect, I didn’t at all, and then I took one myself! I don’t even...I...I can’t do this anymore. I just...can’t.”

- Eret mourns Foolish after the events of the Banquet. Foolish sacrificed his life for Eret, so at the very least he should be commemorated.

Eret: “I don’t even feel like I knew him that well...which makes things even harder. He’s helped me out with so many things, just from the kindness of his heart. He claimed to know me. He claimed to know a me which I don’t even remember... And he sacrificed himself for me.”

“At the very least, I need to commemorate his sacrifice, I...I should’ve been the one to die, not him.”

- Eret builds a Totem statue in his fortress. 

RIP Foolish I’ll miss you, old friend.

- Eret builds a replica of the Egg in their museum.

- Ranboo logs on in his house. He decides to go around the main area today and fix some stuff. His inventory is quite empty, so he grabs stacks of grass blocks from a chest and heads out.

- He heads over to the main area and remarks that the server is beginning to look okay now that the Blood Vines are gone.

- He notices some posters for the Red Banquet.

Ranboo: “Oh, that was today! ...Cool!”

- He carries on and runs into Sam near the Community House. They exchange some steak. Sam says he’s collecting materials for the bank, as people need it now more than ever. 

- Sam suggests Ranboo invest money and charge cash for his hotel. Ranboo points out that they already have currency in the form of emeralds and diamonds. Sam explains his waiver idea for the bank.

- Also, Sam needs to build a vault. People can come and rent a spot to lock away important items. 

- Ranboo asks if you can lock away people in the vault. Sam says that’s what Pandora’s Vault is for already.

- Sam mentions that they’ll put the Egg in there. Ranboo asks what makes this different from regular storage. Sam says it’s more secure.

- Sam and his associates will be there day and night to actively defend everyone’s belongings. Ranboo asks how many guards Sam has under his command. Sam says quite a few.

- Why now? Sam says there’s no time like right now and quotes Oogway.

- Sam doesn’t plan on charging interest. He just wants to establish a better system of trade on the server.

- Ranboo explains to chat that he can use this system to make infinite money by trading emeralds and diamond armor.

- What if someone is, say, already quite rich on the server? Sam says the trade and the guard of supplies is most important. 

- Ranboo asks how fragile the system would be. What would it take to bring it down?

- Sam says a whole nuke. Ranboo replies that he was thinking systematically. He asks how the Great Depression happened and Sam explains inflation and the circumstances for economic crises. 

- Sam gives Ranboo a “prototype Sam dollar.” (One iron ingot)

- They go to Hannah’s house to steal and then find an anvil in the spider spawner to name the ingot “Smollar.” They go down the tunnel and Sam says that Ranboo shouldn’t go down to the Egg Room. It’s under quarantine.

- He’s planning on moving the Egg and asks if Ranboo heard what happened. Ranboo didn’t. Sam fills him in in the Egg Room. Ranboo is curious about the Egg turning into obsidian and picks up a piece of the Blood Vines, suggesting Sam do some experiments.

- They exit the Egg Room and find some strange llamas. Ranboo shoves a chest in Drip Llama.

- Ranboo, Sam, and Foolish breed a ton of llamas to begin the Industrial Revolution.

- Bad comes over and becomes one with the llamas to cope. Foolish turns into a L’manburg Llama and is promptly slaughtered by Ranboo.

- Ranboo, Bad and Foolish create a gigantic llama train.

Upcoming Events:

- Quackity’s business opening

- Tommy’s plan

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Dream’s lore video

- The Banquet aftermath

---

END OF WEEK RECAP:

4/19 - Nothing much happens.

4/20 - Nothing much happens.

4/21 - HBomb makes a diamond game, Jack plans to open a pub sidechain for his hotel business

4/22 - Tubbo shows Tommy how to make TNT cannons

4/23 - Puffy, Foolish, Hannah and Sam meet on Cloud Prime to discuss the Banquet, Ranboo’s Enderwalk Saga: “The Lessons”

4/24 - HBomb’s diamond game, George’s anniversary dream, Bad hands out invitations

4/25 - THE RED BANQUET.

[donutloverxo]

NSFW alphabet | Chris Evans

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

Note - This is written just for fun. I don't know Chris or what he likes lol. I also don't own the alphabet format.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Warnings - rpf, smut, daddy kink, d/s relationship, dom Chris, anal stuff, semi public sex, spanking, sex toys, praise kink.

Word count - 2.5k

A=Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Chris is clingy as fuck after sex. He’ll hold you close to his heart (you being the lil spoon of course) and not let go the entire night. With soft kisses on your face, hair and on any bruises he might have left on you. With some pillow talk about how his love for you can overwhelm him sometimes, that he can’t imagine not having you not that he gets to have a taste of you almost every night. Sometimes he likes to listen to you talk about your day, or share a deep secret you hadn’t told anyone else.

His clinginess is something you adore. Something which you would usually be fine with, how he just could not keep his hands off of you, but when you’re somewhere tropical and hot it becomes a bit of a problem.

You were visiting him while he was filming for red Sea diving resort, after seeing him in the beard and the longer hair you couldn’t help yourself and you just jumped on him. After some hot and sweaty sex, you had moved away from him a little, with your back to him you wiped the sheen off of your forehead with the back of your hand, trying to fan yourself with your own hand, ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he had growled. Not wanting even an inch of distance between the two of you. You tried to protest because you needed to cool off but eventually gave in.

B=Body Part (Their favorite body part)

Everyone knows the answer to this. He likes your ass the most. It doesn’t matter if it’s a flat ass or a thick one he’ll love it the same because it’s a part of you. He likes to smack it, he likes looking at it, he may even like to fuck it. Some stretch marks would just be the cherry on top.

His next favorite would have to be your hips. He loves to see their silhouette through your yoga pants or jeans, or even a dress. After a night of some rough fucking they usually bear his handprints which he loves obviously because it’s almost like he branded you as his own.

C=Cum (Anything to do with cum basically... I’m a disgusting person)

It’s always a battle with the two of you when it comes to cumming. Because Chris likes to see your body covered in his seed, particularly your face, ass and breasts, and you like to have him do it inside you, be it your pussy or your mouth.

Which he doesn’t mind obviously, he likes the idea of his spend being in your tummy, but he also likes taking pictures of your ass covered with his spunk. You just look so pretty when he comes on your face🥺

D=Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Chris has fucked you in more bathrooms than you can remember. It’s become a thing or almost a ritual now. Whenever he takes you to an event or a party, or just a casual dinner at his family or friends house, you’ll end up on your knees in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth, or he’ll worship you and eat you out till you literally can’t even walk straight.

It started when you accompanied him to an important event, he was extremely anxious. And you felt helpless because you didn’t know how to make him feel better. But you did know one thing that always lifts his mood up. So you dragged him to the men’s room and sucked him off. He was much relaxed the rest for the evening thanks to you.

E= Experience (How experienced are they?)

VERY. He’s extremely experienced. He has a lot of knowledge and puts it to good use on you. Which can be a little daunting if you’re more on the inexperienced side but don’t ne afraid. He’ll train you really well, you just have to be a good girl and listen.

F= Favorite Position

His favorite position would be doggy style. Where he’s doing from behind, with you on your hands and knees, or with your head down and ass perched up to him because you never can stay up right when he’s doing you so well. He has full access to your ass, if you’re okay with it he would use his fingers on you, spank your ass. He loves to grab your hips or your ass and your breasts.

He’s also a huge fan of missionary. Because he can’t see your pretty face, or look into your eyes from behind. Most days he wants intimacy and to show you how much he loves you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Depends on his mood. Sometimes he’s a bit goofy, like talking in a comically exaggerated Boston accent when you told him you liked the sound of his voice and how his accent becomes more prominent when he is horny.

But most of the times, he’s in control. He has to maintain some composure so you wouldn’t question who’s really in charge or think that you could get away with anything. Because you know how to make him laugh, and if he let’s you do that he couldn’t keep a straight face while punishing you.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Chris has dark Brown pubic hair, like that of his beard and the hair on his head.

Does anyone remember that term ‘manscaping'? Where dudes trim their pubic hair to make their dicks look bigger. Chris definitely does that. Although he doesn’t need to because like if he got any bigger he might split you in two.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Doesn’t matter if you’re making love, or fucking hard it will always be intimate and loving with Chris in one way or another.

If you feel needy, and like you want him to show you how much he loves you, you just have to sit on his lap, bat your lashes at him, show him your puppy eyes, and hump his leg a little. He’d get the sign and take you to bed, slowly dragging his cock in and out of you, drawing it out for the both of you, his fingers laced with yours, pinned above your head. He’d feast on your breasts and nipples the whole time just so you could feel his love and need for days.

If you’re feeling particularly frisky, or in a mood to piss him off just so he could be rough with you without you having to ask, you can just give him attitude or roll your eyes a lot. He’ll spank your ass raw, or edge you for hours, or make you climax till it literally hurts, depends on his mood really, to teach you some manners. But since you like the punishment you never learn.

Even while he’s got you over his knee, you not wearing anything but the diamond necklace he gave you, your cheeks wet from crying for the past fifteen minutes, your ass on fire but you still had to take more from him. He tsked, reprimanding you for ruining his expensive dress pants with your slick, playing with your intimate lips, he’d say while stroking your head, “It’s okay, baby, daddy still loves you. Even when you get on my nerves.”

Even while fucking you like he hated you, he made you felt loved and as if you were the most precious person in the world.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When you started dating, Chris would often masturbate to the thought of you. But when you started sleeping together he never felt the need to, and you asked him not to do it anymore because you didn’t want him wasting his cummies.

Which might’ve been a huge mistake in hindsight because you revealed a weakness of yours. Now when he REALLY wants to punish you, he’d just tie you up jerk off his cock right before your eyes, “See this, sweetheart? I could be fucking your sweet pussy right now, and making you feel good too, but you had go and be a bad girl.” He’d come all over your face or breasts, and would of course make you come too if he feels you’ve learned your lesson.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Chris has a huge daddy kink. He doesn’t just like the title, he likes everything that comes along with it.

He likes that he has to take care of you, in and outside if the bedroom, being a daddy is a 24/7 job, he has to be considerate to you and grateful for all the trust and love you give him.

He also really likes pinning you down. Whether it be during play wrestling or during sex, it makes him feel strong, and it drives you crazy, absolutely feral for him.

L=Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Yeah you’ve had your share of sneaking off to do it during events but his favorite place to do it would be in the privacy of his own home, preferably his bed so that your dog won’t walk in on you.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you simply say, “Screw me.” That would probably be more than enough to turn him on and fulfil your request.

But what grinds his gears is seeing you in tight clothing, or the kind of clothes that would show off your assets. If you’re a good mom to dodger, if you show an interest in the things he likes or do anything that would make his heart flutter and make him fall more in love with you.

N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never have proper public sex because that would probably interfere with his public image and work. Other than that he’s pretty open to most things.

He also wouldn’t like to invite anyone else to your bedroom or to share you. It is a nice fantasy for him but way too risky.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He likes both giving and receiving equally. He likes having you on your back where he can see your face while he explores your intimate walls with his tongue, but he also likes to have you ride his face. You were apprehensive to at first, but with some convincing you agreed.

Sixtynine is another one of his favorites. He never actually had to ask for it. You were sitting on his face, holding onto his stomach and screaming when you felt your orgasm approaching, he pushed your head just a little, you got the hint, and started working on his cock, which was painfully hard.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)

It would usually depend on what kinda day it is and how you’re both feeling. But most of the time he is usually slow but at the same time rough. Where his thrusts are drawn out but also impactful.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Chris loves quickies. Bending you over the kitchen counter, a quick session in the afternoon on the couch when things got a little too heated while cuddling, in his trailor while he’s on a break, in the shower where he can make you dirty before cleaning you up. You made it.

But he wouldn’t prefer them over proper sex ever. Usually he likes to take his time with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc)

He’s game to experiment to a certain extent. Even if he’s skeptical about something he’d keep an open mind and give it a shot for you.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)

He’s a fit and motivated man so he can last for a long time and go for many rounds. It’s more likely for you to be tired and tapped out than for him.

If it was a long day on set, and if he’s a little exhausted then he may not be able to go more than once. But will make up for it when he can.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

You both own a variety of butt plugs and vibrators, silky ties, blindfolds, handcuffs that Chris likes to use on you. You even bought a ball gag asking him to put it on you, which was the only time you ever used it because Chris liked to hear your voice and for you to call him daddy or say his name. You couldn’t do it with your mouth full.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Chris teases you a lot, but he would be a MASSIVE tease if he was a little more patient. He knows the effect he has on you. How you can’t take your eyes off him when he wears a t-shirt that’s a bit too tight and shows off his arms, how you can’t help but grab his butt sometimes and feel him up. When you bite your lip or look away when he catches you staring. If you get caught, be prepared because he will only do it more just to egg you on.

His touches a bit too light, he’d bring you to the edge and leave you just there. But fortunately it won’t last long because usually he’s the one who ends up getting riled up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s loud alright. And he isn’t ashamed of it. He would never try to hide how good you make him feel, or miss an opportunity to call you a good girl and praise your gorgeous body. There will be lots of grunting and groaning and moaning and you revel in every second of it.

X = X-Ray (Let s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s pretty big. Much bigger than average. He looked pretty average when he wasn’t hard, you let that fool you into thinking you could take him pretty easily, he wasn’t that much bigger than anyone else you’d had sex with right?

Your eyes almost popped out of your head when you saw him hard, his dick hard and thick and a blush pink, two thick running on the sides of it.

He assured you that he would make it fit and that you had nothing to be worried about.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty high. Higher than most people at least. You call him your horndog, but like in a nice way, because he always wants it. Even if you spent an entire night screaming his name and being used and stretched in ways that made your pussy as well as your body sore, he would still ask for more the very next morning. He’d respect you if you say no and back off immediately but he’s up for it whenever you want.

ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has things on his mind, and if you fall asleep sooner than usual then he’d be up a while. But most of the times he falls asleep quickly after.

[televisionboy]

this gif is everything skdjdjfn and this is my first alphabet! so give me love and constructive criticism.

taglist: @punkgeekchic @visionsofsweettea @adoresobs @am4sawa @reblogsfandom @evarolines @somethingstuffy

Timothee Chalamet Fluff Alphabet

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Dates with Timothee are very very comforting and new at the same time. He LOVES getting out of the house and going to a city where shops are lining every corner and small cafes with coffee to die for. But he also loves to cook you dinner and rehash your days. He’s quite a domestic person.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Timothee finds all of you attractive. But his favorite thing to do is whenever you’re reading a book or the two of you are watching TV, and you’re at one end of the couch and he’s at the other end, he loves to run his hands up and down your legs while they rest in his lap. Drumming his fingers against your knees is like a calming thing

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He doesn’t talk, at all. He’s an incredibly patient boyfriend who will sit there with you and sync your breathing while hugging you. He will listen for hours and hours to you talk about it. And if not, he makes tea for you and offers cuddles and comfortable silences. I mean, either way he always makes tea.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He would love a family with you, he knows you’d be an incredible parent to his children. But he’s content being young, having new experiences and getting to be spontaneous. If he had to think about it, he’d like one or two children and maybe a dog. Living in a cozy but spacious home, of course there’s a pool in the back.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

well, when he’s in the mood, jealous/mad he definitely will be dominant (and especially in bed) but he’s in no way so dominant that you will feel like his maid or a child. But he really doesn’t want to consider your relationship to be that way. Both of you are just you and treat each other equally. 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He gets cold when he’s fighting with you. Timothee’s a bit like a younger sibling while fighting, he knows how to push your buttons and won’t stop until he see’s a reaction. But he has that guilty feeling wash over him so fast. He’s very very easy to forgive you because how could he say no to someone like you??

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

SO GRATEFUL. He spoils like no other. If you point out that you like a pair of earrings, they’re yours (it doesn’t matter that they’re pure diamonds) you mentioned that you want to see Italy? Tickets booked. And a great thing about him, on top of being a good listener is that he has a great eye. And he picks up on things and is quick to notice them. Which is a big reason he’s so successful in acting. Even if it’s something as simple as washing the dishes so he can relax, to something as kind as making him your very own fan gift.. he melts every time.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Mmm, he certainly tries not to but everyone keeps secrets. There are things that both of you prefer to keep private but he wouldn’t keep something like him kissing another woman a secret.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You’ve inspired him and fueled him to become a stronger actor even if you’re not one yourself. Some of your advice is seriously helpful, and some are unhelpful but hilarious. No matter what you will tell him, he knows you’re waiting at home or even at his set with open arms, waiting for him to win an award and fangirl online to other Timmy fans. It makes him blush and cause a billion butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He trusts you 100% that you would never leave him, and he doesn’t want to be one of those boyfriends who restricts their partner. But there’s a part of him that’s incredibly insecure and is convinced you can do better. There are some parts that WANT you to leave him and do better. He would never ever show it in public, but you can read him well. You’ll put a hand on his bouncing knee and kiss his jaw.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like? 

He knows he’s a damn good kisser as well as charmer. You had been on a couple of dates with him, on one you mentioned that it was on your bucket list to be kissed in the rain. He made sure to schedule a date when there would be rain and he took you on a picnic. Towards the end, it had started to pour and you were trying to run back to the car but he grabbed your face and kissed you so hard but so passionately. His curls were dripping and the sandwiches were ruined but the feeling was incredible. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Rightttt after that kiss, in the car you were drying off and laughing with him while the radio was on in the background. The car was on but he wasn’t driving. Instead, he turned to you and told you he was in love with you. Both of you had said “love you” but never “i’m in love with you”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He’s on the fence about babies but he knows for certain that he wants to marry you. You know that scene in The Office where Jim shows the engagement ring for Pam and is like “I got it 3 weeks into dating”? That’s Timmy. 

He brings you to a premire of one of his movies and at the end when all the credit’s are rolling, it says “y/n will you marry me?” and when you turn back around, Timmy is on one knee and Armie is most likely behind him crying his eyes out. 

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Babe” “Baby” “Mon cherie” When you two are married, he’ll join you in the kitchen while cooking dinner and call you “Mrs Chalamet” before kissing your shoulder and beginning to chop veggies. It’s just incredibly domestic 

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

so so so obvious and so in love. He shows you off as much as possible and talks about you on talk shows until he’s sure that the audience is annoyed and SNL mocks him (and even then, he’ll continue)

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

he brags but he does know when to dial it back for your own privacy and humility. BUT that doesn’t mean he won’t hold your hand in public, or banter with you on a twitter thread even if you both are right next to each other on the couch playing footsie

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He has a great eye and is quick to pick up on things. It’s almost as if he has certain senses and can tell when you’re having a bad day or upset. He just knows. It’s incredible. He’ll run you a bath and order cake to indulge yourself in before you even get home.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

The most sickley, fluffy, romantic, boyfriend that it makes me sick. Timothee would dye his hair rainbow and cut of his toes if it meant you would smile. On a more romantic note, he pulls out all the stops but it’s a bit more subtle?? Like he is very romantic but it’s not overwhelming. There’s no string quartet and private dining room but there will be jazz and dancing at midnight or a homemade “restaurant” with Timothee as a one man (messy) staff but it’s the best thing you could have ever come home to

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He’s your head cheerleader and the most selfless human ever. Will cheer for you until his voice goes mute and even then, he’s the one clapping the loudest and crying the most. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

both! Timothee is like a dog in some ways. He’s energetic and needs new things, to be outside, to be social. But he craves hugs and cuddling, he adores late night talks with you or watching you make him breakfast while he scrolls through Instagram. Like I said, a very domestic guy.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He know’s you like the back of his hand and he could spot you with his eyes closed and only by feeling your face. He knows your habits, and the food you hate, your terrible cooking skills, and the kind of dad jokes you tell, the anxiety ticks, and what shows you’ll watch over and over again.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

He’d go insane without you. You’re addictive because you have a pure heart and a dirty mind and he falls in love the more you show that. He brings you back the weirdest things that remind him of you. Stationary cards with odd quotes, an antique necklace from the 40′s, peach earrings (because he enables your teasing)

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He’s like the real version of “JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD” but a little more loving lol “I love you, but I’m willing to defend my fries”

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I said that he’s like a puppy! he needs kisses and scratches to his head (free scalp massage) and he’s a clingy puppy too. i mean, look at his eyes for the love of god. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he aches so bad. He is your cheerleader but he can’t function without you. You’re his cup of coffee, an antidepressant. He’s fangirling inside for your new project but when he sees your mug or reaches to bring you close to his chest and you’re not there, he’s unable to fall asleep or make a cup of coffee.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’d travel to Mars and back if you asked him to. Just ask him, and he does it. One time, he was working on a movie with an actress who was quite snippy to you and he quit immediately, feeling incredibly guilty and nauseous. He got you very  expensive lox and bagels one morning because you were whining about it the previous night. He doesn’t want to close his eyes at night because there’s so many things he wants to do before he goes on to the next day. But when he closes his eyes at night, it’s all you, you, you, you, you and how much he’s overwhelmed with total adoration for you

[himbo-only-zone]

Can you do Rantaro fluff alphabet?

rantaro amami || fluff alphabet

Me? Getting a post out? Woah- /lh. Anyway, of course I can! Here ya go! Sorry if it's out of character, I've never written for him before! I'm glad I was able to, though!

- Mod Anna

a. attractive. what does he find attractive about you? he loves your hands, they fit perfectly in his. he'll kiss you knuckles happily before dragging you on, another adventure to pursue. he's excited to be anywhere with you, and knowing that you're holding his hand, by his side? that's amazing.

b. baby. would he like a family? he would! i can see him wanting to show a kid the world, point out cool things in pictures, telling wild stories about what happened while he was there. he wouldn't mind taking them on trips as well!

c. cuddle. how does he cuddle? he's usually the big spoon, and he loves you facing him. he's pretty protective, a hand usually pressed against your lower back and a soft kiss on your forehead. he's very gentle and loving with this sort of thing.

d. dates. what are dates with him like? usually you're doing something different that you haven't done before, dates are never the same. he likes to be spontaneous, but also have a little bit of an idea of what's going to happen. he likes to keep you completely in the dark, though, having you play guessing games, although he wouldn't tell you even if they're correct.

e. everything. what are you to him? (ex. you are my _____) you're his favorite adventure. out of everything he's done, everywhere he's been, the greatest adventure of all was finding out about you and learning every little thing that he's come to love.

f. feelings. when did he know he was in love? you two were on an adventure, and you were a bit scared of something, whether it be the bugs or the night. he held you close and said that you didn't have to do this for him, but you shook your head. you were dedicated, and wanted to be with him no matter what, even during a small adventure. that was enough.

g. gentle. is he gentle with you? he's pretty gentle, holding your hand with a tight enough grip not to hurt you, kisses just firm enough, and hugs just warm enough. he's very careful. he loves you more than anything, and he thinks about your well-being all the time.

h. hands. how does he like to hold hands? he likes your fingers interlocked. it doesn't have to be tight, it can even super loose. just as long as your hands are touching, he knows you're safe, and that's all he wants to know. he loves pressing kisses to your knuckles.

i. impression. what was his first impression of you? he saw that you had an interesting personality, that would match well with his own. he saw a possible future, and wanted to pursue it. he didn't waste too much time asking you out, but he did get to know you a little first.

j. jealousy. how often does he get jealous? he is a very chill person in general, so it's very unlikely that he'd get jealous. there is the occasional moment, but it's far from often. he refuses to show it, not wanting it to interrupt your relationships with other people. he wants you happy. you'll notice the little things soon, however.

k. kiss. how does he kiss? who initiated the first kiss? he's an amazing kisser. the kisses are firm, yet soft and sweet. they show his passion for you. it's always accompanied by a hand on your lower back, and the other gently cupping your cheek. to break it, he often smiles into it and stares into your eyes.

l. love. who says "i love you" first? he does. it's done when you two are on the way home from some date, his hand on your knee as he drives. at a stop light, he looks over at you and just smiles. “damn, i love you. a lot,” he says, taking your hand and kissing your knuckles.

m. memory. what's his favorite memory with you? every one. he takes pictures of every date, every little thing you two do together. he loves every moment he spends with you, and he cherishes it more than anything. all the memories with you fill him with more joy that you'd expect.

n. nickel. how much does he spend on you? well, you two share most of your money so it can go towards trips and stuff, but he makes sure to spend more than you do. you don't deserve to pay that much, he was the one who took you on all of this. he also buys you surprise souvenirs.

o. orange. what color reminds him of you? purple. it represents mystery in his eyes, and he likes to explore mystery with you. hand in hand, exploring the world together.

p. pet names. what pet names does he use? more often than not, he uses babe. it's classic, and it gets the point across. but he loves throwing in the occasional love, dear, or prince/princess. he loves seeing your reaction, it's his favorite.

q. quaint. what's a non-modern thing he does? he scrapbooks. y'know how all of his moments with you are special, and he takes pictures? all of those pictures are in a scrapbook. all of those little details are put in there, journal entries of the fun things, little pieces of leaves found where you were ... it's beautiful.

r. rainy days. what does he do with you on a rainy day? you two aren't able to get out, so the day is mostly spent laying on the couch and watching tv. you two need to rest sometimes, all of the adventuring gets tiring after a while. he has an arm tightly wrapped around you, pressing a kiss against your temple.

s. sad. how does he cheer you up? he insists on laying down with you and letting you vent about what's going on. he's stroke your cheek with one hand and hold your other one tight, listening to your every word. he wants to see you happy. you're amazing to him.

t. talking. what does he like to talk about? he likes learning about what makes you you. like your childhood, your parents, siblings if you have any. it makes him smile, knowing that you had an interesting past, no matter what it will be. and yes, he will be asking your parents for baby pictures.

u. unencumbered. what makes him relax? he likes taking soothing nature walks. he wants a house near the woods so that he can go out and relax if needed. he likes taking you with him, enjoying a comfortable silence together. it makes him feel a lot better.

v. vaunt. does he show you off? you two are a pretty loving couple in general, so yes? he doesn't really do it intentionally, but if he catches someone staring, he'll smirk happily and pull you a little closer. a quick kiss to the forehead, and he'll walk away with you in his arms. he's so happy with you.

w. wedding. when, how, and where does he propose? he would want something simple, but at a really nice place. on the top of a mountain, the view absolutely beautiful. he pulls out a ring with is extremely simple, maybe one small diamond, but it holds so much meaning. “s/o ... you know i love you. most of what i would say would be me repeating myself over and over again, but ... being your husband would be the best adventure of my life. will you marry me?”

x. xylophone. what song reminds him of you? what's your theme song? honeypie by jawny reminds him of you! your them song is desert island disk by radiohead!

y. yes. does he think about proposing to and marrying you? he would love that! going on adventures with his wife/husband/life partner? being able to call you that to people when asked? god, it'd make him feel like the best man in the world. he loves you more than anything.

z. zebra. if he could have a pet, what would he get? from such an adventurous man, you'd expect something exotic, right? hell no, he would be insistent on getting a big dog. he loves big dogs. and they're his best friend. no questions asked.

[scotianostra]

Happy 79th Birthday Scottish singer Eve Graham, born April 19th 1943 at Auchterarder.

Eve started singing aged twelve and was asked to sing for Cyril Stapleton in London who, together with Joe Loss, led the big orchestras in the 60s. She then sang as part of the band The Nocturnes, with Lyn Paul, and it was her mum who said they should apply for a new group called The New Seekers, the band were an overnight success.

They hit the American charts, which brought them to the attention of Coca-Cola singing the jingle “Buy the World a Coke” on its advertising campaign, the song was reworked as I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing, which was a global hit, selling a phenomenal  96,000 copies of their record in one day, eventually selling over 12 million copies worldwide

The group went on to have hit records such as Beg, Steal Or Borrow and You Won’t Find Another Fool Like Me, meant bigger venues, huge crowds and tours with Liza Minnelli, Neil Diamond and Gene Pitney. The line up changed in 1974 and Graham said the magic had gone and left to pursue a career on the cabaret circuit.

In an interview she said “I couldn’t do a concert now as I’m 72,".” But comeback she did!  In 2018 she stepped back into the music scene, releasing a brand new album titled  A Matter of Time, ( The Nashville Dream”), the album includes a version of Caledonia, she even hit the stage again embarking on a nationwide tour that year.  Graham also said that owing to contractual problems she has not received any royalties since 1973.

Eve married fellow band member  Kevin Finn in 1978  When Eve left New Seekers that same year Kevin also left and the pair toured as a duo instead and even released one single together, Ocean and Blue Sky. Sadly, Kevin passed away in February 2016 at the age of 70 having being diagnosed with polycythaemia, a blood disorder.

Eve Graham lives in the cottage she shared with her late husband in Abernethy a village in Perth and Kinross  with her two Lhasa Apso dogs, who she says are like the children they sadly never had.

I’ve chosen Eve singing The Skye Boat Song, but I don’t think the video was shot on the Hebridean Island,  I’m noe sure about the opening shot, it’s somewhere on the coast, I think the rest of the video is at Lochan na h-Achlaise, and I’m pretty sure I have been at the wee car park there on the A82 road. 

[thebadgerclan]

SFW Alphabet: Lucius Malfoy

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucius is a very affectionate man, always wanting you to know just how loved and adored you are.  He’s almost always holding your hand or has an arm around your shoulders, or both. When you’re alone at home, Lucius will hold you in his lap, pressing kisses all over your face.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Lucius has very few people who he considers friends, Severus being among them.  But having him as a friend, you’re never alone on anything.  Lucius will stand by your side through anything, acting as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it.  If you need some sway with the Ministry, he’s more than willing to help you there too.

  C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Lucius adores cuddling: having you in his arms, holding you close, it’s one of his favorite things.  When the two of you are alone, he likes to have you in his lap as the two of you read or just spend time together.  Lucius is always the big spoon, with you either facing him or with your back to his chest.  He also likes it when he’s on his back and you’re tucked into his side or lying on top of him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Lucius does want to settle down with you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You already own his heart, he knows that there’s no other woman for him, so he sees no reason not to settle down with you.   He’s already got the massive manor, but if you want to move somewhere smaller, he’s already signing the deed.  Lucius is shit at cleaning, he’s had house elves for his entire life, but he can cook pretty well.  He doesn’t do so very often, but sometimes, when he wants to surprise you, he’ll shoo the elves from the kitchen and cook you a romantic dinner (he has to call them back because he has no clue where stuff is, but he does cook the meal)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would break his heart into a million pieces to end things with you, but if he had to, Lucius would put on the icy, cold, unapproachable exterior he shows to everyone but you.  “This can’t go on, Y/N,” he says, feeling ill with himself.  “We’re done.  I’m sorry, it’s over.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Lucius most certainly wants to marry you, and now that Narcissa’s out of the picture, he can.  You’re together for about a year or so before he gets you a ring, and as soon as the little box is in his hand, he’s planning a super romantic evening for you.  After a 5 star meal, complete with champagne and dessert, he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He may seem like a cold, cruel man, but around you, he is the gentlest, kindest, warmest man you’ve ever met.  Lucius is such a gentle man around you, treating you like a fawn (and fawning [pun not intended] over you as one does a baby deer), always being tender and gentle.  Emotionally, he’s such a sweetie, never raising his voice at you.  I won’t say he never gets angry with you, because he’s human, but he tries not to.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Lucius likes hugs, though you’re usually the one to initiate them.  He prefers to be able to hold you for longer periods of time, and as hugs are usually short lived, they’re not his favorite.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves it when you hug him, he loves any form of physical intimacy with you, he just prefers cuddling.  That being said, his hugs are strong, he squeezes you tight against him, sometimes knocking the wind out of you.  He’ll rest his chin on your head, and kiss you sweetly when he pulls away.

  I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Lucius waits until he’s 100% certain of his feelings for you, more for your benefit than his.  He doesn’t want to rush into telling you he loves you if he thinks he might walk back on it (that’s very unlikely, but he wants to be sure).  After 5ish months, when you’re away for a week and Lucius feels physical pain in his chest for missing you, that’s when he knows he loves you.  The first words out of his mouth when you return are “I love you, Y/N.  I love you more than anything else in this world, and I will always love you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Lucius is a VERY jealous man, you are his and his alone, no one else gets to have you.  If he sees someone looking at you a little too long, making eyes at you, hitting on you, or making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s at your side immediately.  Lucius will pull you into his side, arm tight around your shoulders or waist, grey eyes staring daggers at whoever dared to speak to you.  “Are you alright, my dear?”  As soon as you’re alone, Lucius will kiss you hard, usually pushing you against a wall, snarling “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lucius is a very skilled kisser, he knows how to convey every single emotion just by pressing his lips to yours.  He’ll pull you fluff against him, arms around your middle; one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other either on your back or ass.  He likes to kiss your lips, obviously, but he also loves kissing your forehead, neck, hands, chest, and thighs.  He likes being kissed on the lips, again, obviously, on the cheeks, the chin (because that might be all you can reach), hands, shoulders, basically anywhere.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) I HC that Lucius played a massive role in raising Draco, so I think he’s pretty good with kids. Kids that aren’t his tend to get on his nerves a little, but his own kids, man, they’re the moon and the sun to him.  He adores his own children to no end, and if you want to have kids with him, Lucius is more than happy to be a father again.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Lucius gets up early most mornings, so he’s not always there when you get up.  But there’s always a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like on the nightstand under a stasis charm, usually with a little love note under the cup.  On the days he can sleep in a bit, you wake with Lucius wrapped around you (he’s wrapped around you every morning, you’re just awake for it this time).  He’ll gently kiss you awake, smiling when you open your eyes.  “Good morning, my love.”

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights and evenings are quiet intimate affairs between the two of you.  Evenings usually entail a private, often romantic dinner before the two of you retire to the sitting room.  Lucius will usually hold you on his lap or have you tucked into his side.  You either read together, talk about your day, or watch a movie (Lucius has a home theatre type setup, fight me).  When it gets late, he’ll lead you up to the master bedroom where you usually share a bath or shower (which can lead to sex), before going to bed, you held close to Lucius’ chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once Lucius is sure and comfortable in your relationship, he’ll start to reveal things about himself.  Not all at once, more like when you ask him questions, but he won’t hide things from you once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Lucius has a temper, but he keeps it in check with you.  You do make him angry sometimes, but it’s never long lasting, and it never gets physical.  He might brood in his study for a little bit, but after an hour or so he’ll come out and apologize for being a bear.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) At the beginning of your relationship, Lucius is so dedicated to remembering every little thing about you, he actually keeps a little journal.  It’s filled with random things that you’ve said on your early dates, things like “Favorite color: blue, Hogwarts house: Y/H, had three dogs as a child: Kelly, Mary, and Pepper.”  Obviously, he doesn’t need it after a while, but he still has the journal in his bedside table.  The last addition he made was: “Likes princess cut diamonds, jeweler on 5th has wide selection.”

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Lucius’ favorite memory of you is the first time the two of you had dinner with Draco.  The only thing more important to him than you was Draco liking you.  After Lucius had escorted you back home, he returned to the Manor where Draco was waiting.  “So?” Lucius asked, pacing nervously.  Draco just smiled.  “I like her, Father.  She’s not Mother, but I like her.”  He was so happy to hear that his son liked you, he couldn’t sit still for hours.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He’s very protective, Lucius wants and needs to know that you’re safe at all times.  He’ll never stop you from doing something or going somewhere, but if there’s potential for you to get hurt, he’s either going with you or putting measures in place to make sure you’re safe.  Lucius loves you more than anything or anyone, he can’t bear the thought of losing you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) This man has the resources to make you feel like royalty every single day, so you’d better believe that Lucius goes all out on dates and anniversaries.  Fancy restaurants, expensive wine and food, and anniversaries and gifts are on a whole nother level.  Trips to Paris, Athens, Madrid, anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of going, Lucius will take you there.  His gifts are usually very expensive, diamond earrings, necklaces, bracelets, designer clothes, but they can also be sentimental: a book you’ve had your eye on for a while, candy from Honeydukes he knows you like.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Lucius can be a bit narcissistic, very self centered.  He sometimes gets so wrapped up in his own head that he forgets that he has a girlfriend who wants and needs his attention.  He always feels so guilty afterwards, apologizing profusely to you.  He usually ends up surprising you with a fancy dinner or seducing you into be to show you how much he loves you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Have you seen the man?  Lucius cares about his appearance, like, a lot.  At the beginning of your relationship, he refused to spend the night with you, solely because he didn’t want you to see him when he work up; with bedhead and morning breath

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, you’ve stolen his heart, and Lucius cannot live without you.  When he was away for a week on Ministry business, he felt like a shell of himself, like part of him was missing.  You feel the same, hating when you’re away from him for too long.  The thought of leaving him forever makes you feel sick, but Lucius is quick to reassure you that he’s yours forever.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Lucius has a very in depth skincare routine, and if he misses or skips a night, he’s blotchy in the morning

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?   Lucius can’t be with someone who can’t be serious.  Of course, he loves it when his girl lets loose and laughs, but in more serious situations, he needs her to be serious.  He’s all for being laid back and just having fun, but he feels there’s a time and a place for that versus being serious and sophisticated.  

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Lucius puts lavender oil on his pillow to help him fall asleep.  He has a bit of insomnia, and it takes that or 4-5 rounds of sex to knock him out