#the rest im less sure about
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A look into the author's mind: He watches hot black haired anime men fight for inspiration...
Seriously tho I'm all pumped up to write The Delinquent Disagrees now 😤😤😤😤 I've got the chapter outline for the next two chapters down, and I'm ready to begin writing!
Idk if I've ever simped for Shinya Kogami on here, but I just watched some of the Psycho Pass movies for the millionth time and confirmed once again that my all-consuming crush on this man is still going strong 👌
#kolbie blabs#the delinquent disagrees#i think if i had to choose id go with kogami shinya's eng va (Robert McCollum) for ian's voice#ezra's would be something like sousuke yamazaki's eng va (ian sinclair ironically)#luke's could be momo's va (jerry jewell)#and vanessa could be lucy heartfillia (cherami leigh)#ian sinclair for ezra is the only choice im locking in actually#the rest im less sure about
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i admit that i find it a little bit frustrating how Wildly Astonished other antizionist jews act when i tell them my israeli jewish family have lived in the region since [some unknown length of time before 1800 when there start being records about it]
#and then they're like ''ohhh they're mizrahi!'' [connotation nonwhite‚ virtuously indigenous]#and i have to be like. no. it's just that‚ as palestine was in fact ottoman-administered greater syria for most of the last 600 years‚#you could get there from other parts of the ottoman empire. such as the part of now-ukraine your ashkenazi family is also from.#it wasn't actually a hermetically sealed arab-only ethnostate that evaporated immigrants on sight. it was a pretty decent place to live as#a jew by at least some accounts. or better than the front of the hapsburg-ottoman war anyway which is where they were coming from.#i'm not sure who you think it's serving exactly to believe that there were literally no ashkenazim in the middle east before the 1st aliyah#however there were some. and this information does not actually threaten a modern anti-state of israel position like at all.#but since apparently you've constructed your new Diaspora-Centric Identity around the idea that 'palestine' and 'diaspora'#are the two mutually exclusive nonoverlapping regions and the former is ontologically a no-european-jews-allowed zone#i guess i can give you a minute to try to figure it out.#ugh sorry this is nothing it isn't anything. for one thing it's fantastically unimportant#and for another thing i don't know how to like talk about it in a way that doesn't make me sound at least kind of like im trying to justify#myself as being somehow less complicit or something. i mean i think my complicity as an american dwarfs the rest of it honestly but.#i just feel really insanely alienated where the rhetoric of my theoretically most closely politically aligned group is not really built to#like. accommodate the facts of my family history.#sorry. i have honestly no idea why im so obsessed with articulating this concept ive just been chewing on it pointlessly for days#box opener
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some more ideas for the totk rewritten project (botw2);
underground general ideas i thought about what to theme the underground after, and since its vaguely like underwater in canon i thought id push it much much further, you cant actually dive and while id love that i do want to stay within a certain possible range of it still being a sequel to botw and somewhat based on totk- so im putting the low gravity effect away from the sky and instead in the underground, the ENTIRE underground, that way it is distinctly different in the way you have to play since you gotta work around the low gravity effect, the entire plant life and enemies will also be based on deep sea creatures- anglerfish like ones that half burrow and lure you with their light, those fish (or are they worms?) that hide underground as soon as you step too close, maybe they hide initially but only to make you go closer and try and snatch at you
much more glowy things too, basically everythings got some sort of light on it, there are different creatures flying around that all feature some sort of glow, so there is stuff to see but you cant immediately know what it is, theres a unique kind of plant that when you bother it spews out a dark cloud of spores (kinda like in tp) that dims any light you had; there are some landmarks you can activate or repair with the help of zelda but there is no way to illuminate the entire map and the lil light ferns expire slowly too
i also want it to be way more wet, not full with water but maybe a thin layer of water at most places and some drops from stalactites that fall constantly
there are shadowy ghosts there as well but they CAN aggro (still working on it), either by taking a weapon from their grave or some other things; also considered them or some other enemy that stalks you for some time and the only clue you get is maybe double sound of your steps or something at the very edge of your screen but you can never catch it when looking around (i dont want to make it a horror game but do want the underground to stay as creepy as when you first get down there), something elusive and shadow based that is rarely encountered but stays creepy for longer than the miasma hands sicne it cant get stuck on anything and the only way to be safe is while in the air
maybe some miasma reanimated corpses of ancient shiekah killed when the ancient hyrulean king turned on them (only foudn in the underground in this way; there are others but unposessed in alot of the broken shrines and old laboratories so seeing one suddendly move and crawl after you is probably pretty scary, kinda like the vroken guardians sometimes being still functional)
the dongos are the main friendly animal you can discover there and tame (still working out more details) they can climb around, always emit a little bit of light and the shadow enemy wont latch onto you as long as you are near a dongo, maybe even most enemies will leave you alone if you are riding one, as they are slower than horses, with the exception of gigamas (or a similar enemy ill redesign for that) as they are the natural predator of dongos; when you get to close to one it will react to it and if a fight is initiated it burrows away (you can call it and it comes back to you if you are out of range of that enemy)
tameable animals since i played skyward sword recently i just realized again how much fun it is to fly on a bird, sicne im already dividing the three map layers a bit more i thought it would be cool to make these layers more distinct, in some part by the tameable animals- the sky has birds (based on dinosaurs), the surface has horses, the underground dongos- neither of them can follow you to one they dont belong and the way to call them switches as you switch layers
im not sure yet if those birds should be ridable or are only able to give you a small boost upwards when you call them
magic bar so instead of actual batteries i planned to, as i said before, to put that into links shiekah arm prosthetic, and instead of giving you literal battery symbols on the screen it would be a bar right below your health and next to the symbol of the current selected arm ability
krog seeds a bit more to the krogs- as i said before they are no longer the way to make your pockets bigger- among an armor set i also thought about making the most expensive reward OR the end reward for finding all of them be the eponator zero- maybe it went missing during the cataclysm and maronus (engl. hestu) finds it at some point, so you get your bike back but its locked behind something bigger so you are unlikely to exploit it early on
(EDIT) (forgot to mention the dragons- im putting them each in one layer of the map- eldra in the underground bc gan is there and youknow, demise coming from the ground and fire being associated with the ground etc, farodra on the surface GREEN etc, and naydra in the sky, bc wisdom and owls and gods and all that weeeeee)
(on a sidenote im also thinking about ditching the building mechanic to some extent since i dont think it fits very well as a whole and it makes it too easy to completely skip stuff- i want the main way to move things or to get around be the hookshot/grappling hook part of links arm; still working on all that though .. so far it does seem likely like it will be much more limited)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rewrites totk#also since alot of the shrines are now more like bigger caves and less in number i thought about making a broken tower into a mini boss#like a mass of miasma spilling from a hole in the ground like the big one in the gerudo area that wields the tower as a weapon#some of the bigger regional changes i wanted to mix it up alot more without redoing the entire map#so gerudo dessert might be flooded#the zora are dealing with all the water in the region having gone through a crack in the earth leading their area to dry up#rito area isnt just snowed in but in an actual blizzard that coated everything in a thick layer of ice#YES ICE PHYSICS WOOHOO#and made them flee maybe into vah medoh whos unfunctional and resting somewhere else#maybe isntead of floating hyrule castle is sunk into the ground .. tho im not so sure on that yet#.... listen theres so much stuff you could do with world to have it have actual changes#what if satoris mountain was half broken and sunk into the ground but the mountain is still there at night like a spiritual footprint#you know#make it actually feel like a big order destroying event has happened!!!
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FUCK what I said about the majority of significant changes to dialogue in Re:CoM being to adjust Axel's characterization, the most egregious change is actually this
(GBA CoM)
(Re:CoM)
if I had to guess, the reason for this change was because in GBA CoM, The Superior was a spooky, unknown being at the head of this Organization we had very little knowledge on, and for Vexen, the guy who runs his mouth constantly about how much better he is than the others, to be terrified of him, he must be some pretty scary dude. But then after kh2 we know him, it's Xemnas, he's very dramatic, he likes to talk to the moon, and the effect of your mind filling in the gaps about what "The Superior" must be like is gone. So it wasn't really necessary anymore, right?
(rest under cut because it's long)
Except... the way they changed it is so weird. In the GBA version, what's happening is pretty clear:
Marluxia tells Vexen that his project is a failure
Vexen demonstrates that he does not give a shit about Marluxia's opinion
he does care very much about The Superior's opinion, though, and Marluxia uses this to blackmail him into eliminating Sora- an action which is nonsensical, as the entire point of what they're doing needs Sora alive, making it clear to everyone in the room that he is deliberately sending Vexen to die
and then after that, when Vexen shows up to fight Sora, he goes "if you want to fight me for real you've gotta do it in the memories from the other side of your heart lol bye" and Sora goes "huh? other side?" and then it cuts to a scene on the top floor:
and then this gets more into subtext but here, Vexen has realized he's totally fucked and his only hope is to mess directly with Marluxia's plans (well, they were the Organization's plans, but it's pretty obvious by now Marluxia's abusing his power for his own purposes) by giving Sora more information than he should know. This does get the traitor gang worried enough to send Axel to go kill him (as opposed to just letting Sora take care of him, which was presumably the original plan)- he very specifically cuts Vexen off to keep him from saying too much (this is retained between the original and the remake)
Anyway, what happens in Re:CoM sort of follows the same order of events, but everything is changed slightly in a way that just makes things more confusing.
Marluxia tells Vexen his project is a failure and Vexen demonstrates that he doesn't give a shit about Marluxia's opinion, as before
Marluxia threatens Vexen with a weapon, rather than threatening to tell the Superior
this, notably, does not seem to faze Vexen very much. he continues to run his mouth while having the scythe pointed at him.
Xemnas is still leveraged- Marluxia points out it was the Superior who entrusted him with the castle
...even though reasonably Vexen would already be aware of this, and has still demonstrated that he has zero respect for Marluxia despite it
the lines about betraying the Organization being a capital crime are retained, probably because it's super relevant later, but then that line of thinking is abandoned in favor of Marluxia and Larxene just taunting Vexen instead
The part where Marluxia says "do it. you won't" could be seen as a sort of threat... if not for Axel's line: "You give a challenge like that to Vexen and he'll seriously want to eliminate Sora." It frames it all as though Vexen went to fight Sora out of some sort of pride.
And look, Vexen may have a temper and a superiority complex, but he's not stupid. They're obviously baiting him. Plus, what happened to him seeing himself as above the others and countering things he doesn't like with "well actually I'm higher ranked than you and also you're an idiot"? Is he that insecure in his fighting capabilities? I could deal with characterization changes doing him dirty if it didn't also make no sense in the context of the plot.
So now we have Vexen going to try to kill Sora, something that really makes no sense to do, out of pride. What was the purpose of sending Sora to Twilight Town? Also pride, over the fact that he managed to get that information? Giving the writing the benefit of the doubt, I could say that these nonsensical actions can be explained as evidence that Nobodies can have hearts and people with hearts do strange and rash things, but that just feels like a reach, which is bad because what they had in GBA CoM worked perfectly fine and made sense without any reaching for the "idk emotions make you do strange things" explanation.
It continues. After Vexen gives Sora the Twilight Town card in Re:CoM and Sora wonders about what the "other side" means, this is that version of the conversation the top floor members have:
...what? "If Sora disappears, that would mess up the Organization's plans"? what are you worried about? the only reason Sora would disappear is if Vexen killed him. there's no way they think Vexen being in Twilight Town would give him an advantage, right? they know he's a pathetic fighter. "Vexen has clearly committed a treasonous act against the Organization" HOW? HOW IS IT CLEAR? they don't express any worry about Sora learning too much, up until Axel says "I came to stop you from talking too much" when killing Vexen- and that being there makes it seem like they were worried about Sora learning to much, but if that's the case, why would they replace the perfectly serviceable lines in the above scene? it's just... baffling that they would want to lean into the narrative that Vexen going to kill Sora (which he'd been goaded into doing) is the problem here, because it just makes so little sense compared to what it was originally.
once again giving them the benefit of the doubt: Marluxia's real plan was to take over the Organization, and he saw an easy way to pick off one of the members, so he took it. the motive for stopping Vexen doesn't actually matter.
buuuuut it's the same as with Vexen earlier. Marluxia may be too self-absorbed and power-hungry to notice Axel is scheming against him, but he, too, is an intelligent man. he's plotted for a while, getting into Xemnas's good graces in order to be put in charge of the Castle. this is incredibly sloppy for him. I guess it could be said that getting so close to his goal would make him sloppy, but again, if they'd just left things the way they were in GBA CoM, I wouldn't even have to be saying this
in conclusion: GBA Chain of Memories' intra-Organization strife subplot is so tightly woven with calculated moves on all sides that Re:CoM changing certain things without taking into consideration the consequences makes certain parts of the plot fall flat and become far more confusing than in the original story
#kingdom hearts#kh#chain of memories#kh com#vexen#axel#axel kh#marluxia#larxene#the inevitable re:com comparison tag#conclusion 2: go play gba chain of memories right now !!!!!#me post#concocting a counterargument in my head rn about how emphasizing the humanity of the organization through their nonsensical actions is#a good thing#gba com leaned into how fucked up they are- kh2 showed us the rest of them- re:com backpedaled to give them a shred of humanity#see also: lexaeus's death differences between gba com and re:com#however#1. i believe making a kingdom hearts game make less sense on purpose is not a good choice due to its reputation of#already being incomprehensible#chain of memories is one of the easier plots to understand!#2. im not convinced it was on purpose. i think the only intentional one was axel saying he really was enjoying himself#and that this specific thing spawned from what i said about xemnas no longer being a spooky mystery#lexaeus's death scene change on the other hand was actually a change in characterization#and since it wasn't wrapped up in the nightmare 5d chess that this thing was it worked fine#3. if they wanted to show us the humanity of the chain of memories crew then they should've let them survive a little longer in 358/2 days#like. we don't know for sure how long end of kh1 -> start of com actually took. that was decided in Days#kh2 we saw a little humanity in all of its organization members but that's because there were lots of themes of nobodies and humanity there#days was extremely heavy on “hey these guys are all people”#but chain of memories' org members were written to introduce us to a group of extremely powerful and clever manipulators#changing that to add a little more humanity sacrifices some of the writing quality because they didn't commit to it
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"we'll fix it together. okay?" and then the only time we see el fixing the diorama, she's doing it by herself while will sits at the kitchen table nudging at his breakfast
#and then MIKE goes to talk to her but NOT will. and i'm supposed to assume that he loves his sister unconditionally? sure#sorry im on a fucking tear with this rn lmao i'm just#so frustrated by this desire to make will this perfect little boy who can never do any wrong#like. i'm sorry. but if he says nice things and then doesnt follow through on them. it means he's kinda not actually nice#a lot of his shit is performative or self-serving#not all of it. bc jfc i have to 'not all men' will byers when i talk about him#but he is nowhere near on the level of kindhearted and selfless that people make him out to be#especially when compared to the way the rest of the party sticks out their necks to be kind and help people#ie. mike speaking up on el's behalf in st3. lucas constantly checking on max in st4. dustin insisting on helping eddie#like. wtf was WILL doing that makes me go 'wow he's so kind' that's right. fuckall.#like. there is a kind heart inside him. we see it early on in the show. but people are stupid to not notice how it's gotten less and less#as the show has progressed. to the point that i watch st4 and go. wait. where is that kid#like. he doesn't act on his word. he just says nice things without meaning them. or he says nice things just to get sympathy#even if he did actually screw up and needs to own up to it#god. anyway. i love canon will byers i hate fanon will byers#make him interesting and nuanced for the love of god. it's more interesting if he makes mistakes and learns from them#i say things#stranger things //
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i cannot find anything to confirm if there's any merit to my theory that the floor of my mouth is obstructing my airway
#the evidence we have the far is:#the bottom mouth guard prevents the floor of my mouth from coming up (in turn limiting my tongue function) and i breathe well#i get a similar result if i force the floor of my mouth down as if I'm about to yawn#but i guess my concern is if that's less the floor of the mouth and more the tongue position that's doing it#because right now im arguably training very bad tongue position#but I'm pretty sure my tie is actually a grade 4 i can just compensate up to a 2#and I'd imagine that stopping the compensations is also a good thing#i guess I'll know soon enough because i have my first actually myofunctional therapy session in a couple weeks#so for now I'll just enjoy actually breathing i guess#although holding the position manually is giving me insane neck pain#so maybe i should wear the mouth guard more even during the day just to let that rest#thus far**
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is there any magical girl anime still out there that doesn't have any fanservice? Shows like Precure, Cardcaptor Sakura or Madoka?
And if there isn't, are there at least any shows where the fanservice isn't with elementary school girls?
#watching prisma illya for the first time because im getting back into fate in general and#??????????????????????#i watch and love symphogear! same for nanoha! i have a not insignificant tolerance of fanservice#but there is a limit to how much of it i can take especially in pg13 and prisma illya keeps breaking past it! at least once per episode!#which is a shame because i enjoy the story and music and animation!! the more 'mundane' setting!! but then EVERYTHING ELSE is fanservice#character wakes up: fantasizes over kissing brother#character gets up after getting hit in a battle: gotta make sure the butt is detailed and in frame#downtime scene: detailed animation of characters 'innocently' sharing ice cream with the 'appropiate' sound and expression#attempt at humor: hey guys. innuendos am i right. elementary school kids talk like this.#(other attempt at humor is the rin luvia rivalry which i am indifferent to even in main fate setting)#more of illya channeling archer and curbstomping saber alter and less of [vague gesture at s2e2] chloe wtf also whoever wrote that scene wt#tbf s2e2 chloe has been the worst offender by far up to this point which in the middle of all of the rest is kind of impressive in a bad wa#sorry about the vent i just needed to get that out of my system#also the question in the post is meant seriously. if anyone knows any i am absolutely open to recommendations.#when a jo speaks
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Help me design a dress!
this is our fabric! (left is the product image, right is my actual piece of fabric- ruler on the left is cm, on the right is inches, to give you an idea of print scale) its the black version of the break up robe print, in a lightweight & crisp cotton. i have 4.5m (5y) so it should be enough to make most designs, though some will require consideration in the cutting- we will get to that later though. (the fabric is also narrow, i think its only 110cm wide. (its still folded in the picture))
my goal here is to make a comfy wearable dress, something pretty casual & everyday in silhouette, but i would also like if it was possible to style up for a more formal look. most of my inspiration for this project has come from 1950s dresses, because thats a style i lean towards for myself, though im not aiming for anything "true vintage" or anything. im also fond of lolita dresses, so im more than down to draw inspiration from those also!
also, the print is pretty bold compared to my usual style, so ive considered doing some kind of translucent (chiffon, tulle, mesh) overlay to tone it down so its more wearable in my wardrobe. this will entirely depend on it working with out final design, and even then, ill offer you the decision at the end! ultimately, i still want to be able to appreciate the fabric. (for sewing people: id intend to do it as a flat lining, so it sits right up against the fabric underneath, not as a complete separate layer. i find this makes it block out the design slightly less) doing this could also help with adding structure to the dress, which i already think some designs might need, considering how thin the fabric is.
ok now the brief is out of the way, onto the first decision for the dress: the shape of the skirt. if you want to vote based entirely on vibes, feel free to click away, but i have included some more writing about each option & its ups and downs in this particular project under the cut (also pictures of each style if youre not so familar with what they are!)
& the propaganda for the options:
Circle skirt: you can never go wrong with a circle skirt- theyre probably my favourite to wear overall & i especially like the low bulk join to the waist as i sometimes find things with gathers dont sit as nicely on me. the way circle skirts are cut also gives them a movement that the other two methods simply cannot compete with in my eyes.
The main downside is working a circle skirt with this particular fabric. the fabric is not wide enough to cut the entire front as one, so i would either need a centre front seam or to make it a 3/4 circle skirt- something im 100% ok with, i honestly find at midi length a full circle to be too much sometimes. (there is technically the option to have full circle but rotate it so the seams are at side, but that might then mean i have to do some shenanigans with where the fastenings go). also, because the design is directional, each quarter will need to be cut so the seams end up on the bias, which makes for an Incredibly inefficient cutting layout. (again, if theres a CF seam, thatll be on the diagonal of the design, which really defeats the point of putting in the effort in the first place, to me.) i think i would be able to get all the panels i need out of the piece of fabric i have, but i think i would be a bit more limited with top options as i try to make sure to use as many of the small pieces left over as possible.
Gathered skirt: these are by far the easiest to do in terms of sewing. in my research into casual 50's dresses about 90% of all pictures i saw featured a dress with a gathered skirt (or actually, a lot seemed to have tiny pleats that give the effect of gathers, like the coral one. if we vote this way, i would be tempted to go try them as i think it might solve my bothers with gathered skirts in general)
i generally find gathered skirts less flattering on me- they add bulk at the waist and then hang straight down off the hips (when not puffed up with a petticoat) and thats generally not something i like on myself. i could improve that though by bringing more fabric in to increase the hem, and adding horsehair braid to the hem to help it swoop without additional support (again, my goal for this project is causal day dress)
this pattern uses the least fabric i think, depending on how much you put in the skirt- i think i should get a perfectly satisfactorily full skirt from this with less than 2m of fabric used. (honestly might end up too efficient- id like to use up all the fabric i have in this, and i really dont need that much for a bodice. i can see myself adding 4, even 5 widths into the skirt to use up yardage. i dont particularly see that as a problem though)
despite my reservations because of gathered skirts ive made before, for this project it does have one massive point in its favour: the fact that its still a full piece of fabric. all other styles here all cut quite significantly into the design to create their shape, while this be one panel of the fabric from edge to edge. preserving the design of this fabric is pretty high on my priority list, after all, i bought this fabric specifically because it was the OFMD break up robe print. i want whatever design i make to work with that.
Tiered skirt: for me, tiered skirts are the best of both worlds in terms of the effect they give. the fact each layer doubles means they keep some of the swish a circle skirt gives (and, i find, they tend to have more of the A-Line shape of a circle skirt too) while not being quite so consuming of fabric as you cut. i couldnt find many examples of 50's dresses with them (though i did find some) so i do feel like this style pulls more towards the style of lolita dresses & that might be reflected in the options i offer in subsequent rounds.
if you know anything about petticoats, then youll notice that this style of skirt is essentially the same construction as them (though petticoats often introduce extra layers and ruffles and.....) when ive made this style of skirt in the past i have found that it holds volume much like a petticoat does, without the need for an extra undergarment- something thats great for a casual dress!
I was thinking three tiers is the ideal number for this dress, though i could make it only two. i dont think i would make it more as, if i keep them even (which was my intention, though i am also fond of the styles that increase with each tier like my example images) then each tier will probably be 20cm wide, which is already looking like itll cut into the features of the design. i think that is the single biggest downside for this style- i wont reasonably be able to do much 'fussy cutting' either to work with the print, its simply not practical to do on this scale.
At a rough estimate, i think this is gonna use 3m of fabric in the skirt, which puts it slap bang in the middle in terms of fabric efficiency. i should have plenty enough to do it, maybe even to increase it if i want to, while still being pretty unlimited about what i do with the rest of the design.
one last thing- trim! one unique feature of this design is the opportunity to play with trim on the skirt itself. i do have some bodice ideas that play around with trim, and it would be really nice to introduce it into the skirt too, if we go that way. it could even be a fun nod to the piping on the original break up robe!!!!
Something else (comment): while doing my research i came across SO MANY design ideas that i could play around with. for this poll i picked the three i thought would probably work the best for this project, but i wanted an opportunity for you to yell at me if you want something different entirely. feel free to suggest anything you like, but ive included a couple images as examples of styles i saw a lot. i especially saw a lot like on the left, with gathering or ruffles off to the side, but the front panel being pretty flat. this might be real fun for some designs like shirtdresses, but im not super confident on how itd look on me. either way, feel free to form a coalition in the replies to tell me how i totally should have offered you this one particular option.
(if you vote for this but dont comment, im discounting it from the overall stats as i have no idea what design you mean! your welcome to send it in on anon if that bothers you, but either way, ill need a description :P )
#i promise the rest of the posts for this wont be nearly this long#i just had a lot to say about the project over all#and i have a lot of thoughts about the skirt shape. i think itll set the tone for the rest of the project so i wanna make sure yall are#informed about my thoughts into all of this#also i just. have a lot i sit there at work and think about this all day long and so i think of a lot of things i want to make note of#but i think i have a lot less to say in future polls. i do not prommy that they will be SHORT tho this is my happy zone#this is 1500 words btw. that is too many for sewing posting. even for me. (i could have written more)#im not reading it over again you can take it as it is and we will both hope its ok#sewing#design#crafting#dress making#pattern making#polls#vintage fashion#sewist#all images sourced from pinterest & most seem to be originally vintage reselling images#you spend long enough staring at these for research n you pick up the style pretty quick#(1 day poll is intended btw)
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i still feel really strongly about this being flynn also
#this is an american desert hare but just like any kind of hare really#flynn is DEFINITLEY a hare to me I also think walter is a red squirrel#isabeau could be a white tailed deer and jonathan like logically should be cat but it doesnt feel right for some reason im less sure about#thsoe two#like the thing with jonathan is that he should be a cat right he says so himself. and yet I cant shake the feeling that theres something#better out there... also the rest of them are woodland animals to me and i rlly dont think he would be a wildcat
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i need to update my f/o list .. i feel like i have a much clearer view on who my mains are and having the rest of them feels somewhat greedy
#SLASH SILLY#but like#obviously my main is s2 sausage and s1 to a lesser extent . then theres every scott . then martyn . then probably renbob ?#the rest of them im less sure about ykwim ..
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Finished chapter 1 of Flight of the Heron. Oh my god. I thought y’all were joking but no. I was reading it at the gp waiting room and I laughed out loud. I’m not sure I was meant to but come on just. Everything is going wrong for him it is past the point of sorrow and straight into comedy
#keith’s hatred of mountains is killing me#FUCK mountains!#fuck THOSE mountains fuck THESE mountains fuck YOUR mountains#riding through a village: oh christ AND they’re Catholics???#his face was directly in the path of the flight of the heron jfc#laying on the side of the road swearing that the flora and fauna of the highlands are out to get him lmao#’surrender if you please’ keith: wounded bleeding but v angry: ‘NO?! Fight me coward!’#IMMEDITATLY gets his ass kicked in less than a minute#not even to MENTION the ‘fine specimen of young manhood’ WHAT#and ‘he’s handsome I bet he’s got muscles under there’ WHAT!#and finally giving in like fine. sure. but I feel bad about making you walk#this man’s misery is endless I’m revelling in it#he’s so small and angry#I love him#the flight of the heron#IM ONLY READ THE PROLOGUE AND CHP1!!!#I need to know what happens next this seems idk!#this book is a sick fic lmao#I have no idea the rest of the plot but my god#I’m gonna burn through this is no time huh
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im rereading my first chapter and honestly i think my writing quality has really gone down because im so worried about getting chapters out on time. i think im going to try to focus more on quality and making sure the ending is satisfying so if it takes a little longer to come out, thats why
#if this has taught me anything its that i need to worry less about releasing regular chapters and maybe write the whole fic before posting#i might end up trying to finish the fic or at least rough drafting the rest before i release#but im not sure yet#i might say this and then post tomorrow! who knows!#personal
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You know what at this point I feel like maybe I just need to either get institutionalised again or start an internship again because I feel like I am getting nothing.
#sorry after going down a rabbit hole i realised that there are a lot of very vague things wrong with most of my characters#and that perhaps i should make. less vague things wrong with them.#like more specific things#and i understand the theory of a lot of conditions but that doesnt mean anything#thats jackshit#and naturally in my life i have met a lot of people with various conditions bu the sample is still fairly limited#ive met people with OCD; with various anxiety disorders; people with various eating disorder; i live with one ed myself; ive met#people with schizophrenia both treated and untreated; ive met people with bipolar; ive met people with schizoaffective;#ive met people in a state of active psychotic episode; ive met people DID and OSDD; ive met people with PTSD;#ive met people with cluster C PDs and people who have BPD like me and ive met exactly one (1) person with NPD (about whom#docs arent fully sure yet)#but thats all. and its like. cool. ok. no idea about cluster A except for me (STPD) and no idea about the lived realities of the rest of#cluster B and no idea about some forms of depression and no idea about a lot of things. so its like. cool. i sure love not knowing.#its like. ok. do i have to get locked up again to meet new kinds of people or?#the thing is that probably wouldnt help i can tell you right here right now thered be like uuuuuh 50 % ED recovery people;#25 % affective disorders; including like one bipolar person probably; 15 % OCD patients and 10 % of undiagnosed people#sent there for a diagnosis#thats actually literally the average population of a psych ward. been there three times happens every time#i mean im exaggerating but you get me
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hey guys does anyone know what we're supposed to do. like just for our lives
#thought a little too long about The Future.... sickening.#every month we get closer to me being able to go back to school which gets scarier and scarier as it approaches because i am less sure#with each passing month what i want to do ��#i have been lightly considering dental hygienist school because i'm a little freak who wants to get in people's mouths#and it pays decently and i can pretty much go wherever and find a job?#but i have this idea that whatever career i pico right now at age 22 must be My Career For The Rest Of My Life#doesn't matter that i have seen just about every person who's important to me switch careers at varying ages. i'm an exception.#and im not sure if i want to be a dental hygienist FOREVER#so what's up. what now.#teddyposting
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what the fuck do i do now dude
#zero’s irrelevant thoughts#but i sort of vent in the rest of the tags but not really#half the reason i don’t play new games or watch shows very often anymore is just#the weird empty feeling after it like. huh.#undertale was fun as shit but . now what#at least with games I’ve played like purrgatory. 2 fanfics quickly consume yeah#but the undertale fandom is so fucking big and has been for so long i can’t. enjoy it??#anyways on a slightly related note I’ve been thinking abt the clones less and less#however i will continue biting hissing scratching and clinging onto them like a feral cat#i swear they’ll be only thing i think about once rp gets going again or something#but even then maybe i SHOULD get over it. because i know it’s going to end one day#that day might not be soon necessarily but im still worried about it like. damn#but i still refuse to move on to any other fandom until then#and no for whatever reason I can’t really really enjoy 2 fandoms at once#one always takes over and overshadows everything else#that WILL be the clones . I will make sure of it#but just. damn
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i hope they change dispel arrows at some point,, i feel like they need a serious buff? i was hunting a proudhorn with two other people and we all had dispel arrows (which we used the entire time - no one switched to fine), and that thing was still teleporting... took us from statue garden all the way to the flooded wall... i'm okay with the dispel arrows stopping the magic for a short amount of time and not forever, but they literally felt useless the entire time. i get that they want us to hunt them together and the dispel arrows being too beefy would encourage solo hunting them but like,,, they shouldn't feel useless???
#has anyone else felt like dispel arrows are a waste to make?#like.. it didn't immediately teleport and then it did and kept doing it the rest of the hunt#like im sorry devs but your fancy anti magic arrows shouldnt feel like normal arrows for 99% of the hunt#like i want to clarify - it didnt teleport for One second and then immediately did and kept doing it#again im totally cool with the effect not lasting forever but i do think it should last longer than it does now#especially when everyone is shooting it with anti magic arrows and it still does its magic? cringe.#im sure there are more important things for them to work on but i feel like more people would be inclined to hunt-#-proudhorns and azures if the dispel arrows actually did something#like i dont know if its a bug but i hit two different azures with a dispel and both immediately cloned#i literally thought it was a bug at first#and maybe it is?? but i also dont know??? is it an intended feature for the dispel arrows to just not work????#does anyone have some insight on this... is this on purpose... have the devs said anything about it...#im still going to hunt the magic animals because i like hunting but ik there are a lot of players who arent going to bother#because its just not worth it#and slightly unrelated but i do feel like the antlers and tail should always drop for the proudhorn and azure#if we're going to go through the pain of being run in circles for these things i think we should get guaranteed good drops aldhg#its kind of insane that we dont already actually#like im willing to trade less meat and fur if it means guaranteed antler and tail
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