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toxicanonymity · 1 year ago

Note

i had dream about this lol. reader is naive/innocent/virgin, they know about sex but not much about masturbation. reader tells joel that they’ve been having this problem at night (usually) where they get all hot and achey down there. joel’s like well i know a way you can fix that feeling!! hopefully this isn’t too outrageous, i just love perv!joel lololll

Aches

900 / Joel x virgin!Reader / joel master

✨ prequel: fires | sequel: thoughts

WARNINGS: I8+ mdni, big girthy age gap (20/50s) only one sleeping bag. fingering, grinding. mention of Joel being a girl dad.

You can't sleep. You scoot your lower body forward and away from Joel's crotch.

"You okay, sweetie?"

Not really, but you don't know how to talk to him about it. You’ve been sharing a sleeping bag with Joel ever since yours was lost in a scuffle. Joel's is big enough for both of you, but barely. You’re settled in against him with your head on his bicep trying to get to sleep, but he was poking into you again, and it makes you ache. The feeling between your legs is so distracting, so overwhelming you can't sleep.

It seizes you and won’t let you relax, but you don’t know what to do about it. You’re a grown woman, of course you’ve tingled before, felt the warmth between your legs, thought about sex, hoped to have it one day. But this aching, throbbing feeling worries you. It’s so beyond anything you’ve ever felt before. It's extreme and sometimes it hurts. You worry something has happened to you from sleeping so rough, not having the right products people used to have for their periods.

The feeling is at its worst when his dick gets hard and presses up against you. That makes you suspect it's sexual. But you never learned how to get yourself off, and it's too late now.

"Um, yeah," you whisper. "I'm okay."

You squirm uncomfortably and dig a hand between your legs just to stay there.

"What's wrong honey?"

You sigh. "I just feel funny, that's all. You can't help. It's girl stuff."

"Now, hold on. Gimme some credit. I was a girl dad remember? You havin' cramps?" He gently rubs your lower belly, making the throbbing between your legs even worse.

"No, not like that," you groan.

He lifts his head up and gets more serious. "What's goin' on, sweetie? Where's it hurt?"

Your face burns as you start to try to tell him. "In the front between my legs."

His breath hitches. "What's it feel like?"

"It just aches and tingles and feels like a lot of pressure."

He inhales deeply. "Anything else that goes with it?"

"I get wet," you say. "But I don't think it's like normal. This is really a lot, and I'm afraid something's wrong."

He's quiet for a moment. "Nothin's wrong with you, baby," he murmurs. "Imma try somethin', okay? Tell me if this makes it worse or better."

"Okay." You're desperate. Plus, you've been traveling with him for weeks and you're past the point of modesty.

He nestles in behind you and grinds his hard cock into your ass. "Worse or better?"

"Worse, worse."

"Okay, now we know what the problem is. It's just tension, baby. Built up pressure. Your body's reactin' to mine."

"Okay. . ."

"Just gotta relieve that pressure. It's okay, we all do it. I can give ya some space if ya want"

Your heart rate speeds up. He must assume you know how. "I don't do that," you whisper.

"Ya gotta. Not gonna go away on its own, sweetie."

"I never figured out how. maybe something's wrong with me"

"Nothin's wrong with ya sweetie." He's quiet for a moment then he strokes your abdomen reassuringly. His hand finds yours between your legs. "Want some help?" He asks.

"Um, alright."

You move your hand out of the way and Joel's replaces it, first feeling you over your underwear. He whistles silently when he feels how wet you are. Then he slides his hand into your waistband. "This okay?"

"Yeah."

He backs up and urges you to lie down flat on your back. His hand wedges between your thighs and you move them apart, making space. He watches you watch his hand. He bypasses your clit to wetten his fingers with your arousal. "This okay?" He asks and you nod.

His middle finger prods at your entrance "can I go in?" You nod again.

He scoots up and presses his hard cock into your hip as he swirls his finger, then inserts it to the first knuckle and your mouth falls open with the intrusion. "Real tight," he mutters.

"What's that mean?"

"Nothin', baby."

He proceeds to insert his whole finger, then adds another. He slides his fingers through your folds then finds your clit and begins to rub wet circles. "Tell me when it feels right," he says.

He tries a few angles, speeds, and techniques until one really hits the spot and you say "that."

"Good girl."

He rubs you just how you like. "Now if you wanna touch your nipple or somethin', sometimes that helps, too."

You slide a hand under your shirt and lightly caress your breast. You feel your lower belly heating up, you're getting more tense but also feeling so good with his hand between your legs. He grinds himself into you as he fingers you and watches your spine begin to arch.

"Come on, sweetie. Let it happen."

You whine from the pressure. "Joel, I - I don't know how"

"Sure ya do, baby just let go, let it happen," his voice is soothing and low.

You whine again and pinch your eyes shut.

"I know baby, you're almost there;"

A few more strokes and you see stars. You ride massive waves of pleasure and relief. It feels so good you cry.

"Shhh, it's okay, baby. I got you." He caresses your face. "You're okay, I got you, sweetie." He presses a kiss to your temple.

SEQUEL: Thoughts

Thank you so much for reading. I always love your comments 🥹🙏

If you're into innocent readers, there's more where this came from. . . My ongoing series Left in Lincoln has an innocent, naive, virgin reader. And my master list has a virgin section lol.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller drabble #joel miller fic #pedro pascal fic #perv!joel miller #dark!joel miller #pedro pascal #pervy!joel miller #pedro pascal smut #toxicanonymity ☠️

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euphorajeon · 6 months ago

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'make it right' with jk for the 1k celebration pleeeaaaasssseeee 🫶

light of the morning

— request: jeongguk + make it right - bts

— pairing: jk x f. reader

— genre: fluff, angst

— word count: 2.7k

— warnings/tags: idol!jk, college student!oc, mild angst, they're best friends, insecurities and self-doubt thoughts.

— summary: in the eternal night that seems endless, jeongguk finds his peace in the light of the morning.

— author's note: hi anon! thanks for requesting :) summary is obviously inspired by the lyrics of make it right, which i used as the general inspiration for the story. i hope it doesn't stray too far from what you had in mind, hehe. enjoy!

a continuation of opposite of sun. i suggest to read that first before reading this!

masterlist

‘Jeongguk Takes Over Times Square With a Surprise Performance’

‘Massive Crowd Gathers In Times Square for a Jeongguk Surprise Performance’

‘Jeongguk Surprises Times Square Crowd With a Free Concert’

It’s been a day since Jeongguk’s surprise performance at Times Square, and the media headlines praising his performance just keep flooding in. In the articles, there were no flaws in his performance. Impeccable. Perfect. The media especially highlighted the way his fans only got a 30-minute notice before the performance, yet they were able to fill up the streets of Times Square. They were loud, singing along to his songs word for word, and Jeongguk is so proud.

The praises didn’t only come from online articles, they also came from the radio hosts and interviewers who were lined up in Jeongguk’s schedule today. It’s refreshing to answer questions outside of the usual ‘What’s your favorite food to eat in the US?’ and about his surprise performance instead. Jeongguk is grateful that his manager, Namjoon, scheduled these interviews after the performance instead of before it.

“Do I have any more interviews for today?” Jeongguk asks Namjoon, peeking at the clock on his phone. It’s only a little after seven in the evening. He knows it’s a silly question to ask, already knowing the answer by the look on Namjoon’s face.

“You have two more, actually,” Namjoon answers regardless. “Plus taping for two songs for one of them. I thought you knew this already?”

“Uh, yeah, just making sure.” Jeongguk clears his throat, eyes still on his phone.

“You’ve been checking your phone a lot today. Something wrong?” Namjoon inquires, a worried look replacing the duh one he had on his face earlier.

“No. Everything’s okay.”

Yes, something is very wrong.

It’s been more than a day since he video-called you, a little over a day since his performance at Times Square, and little less than a day since he texted you the YouTube link of said performance. In that time frame, his phone is completely void of any notification from you. No texts, no calls, even no tweets or an Instagram DM. You’ve been totally silent and it’s starting to get on his nerves. Why are you leaving him in the dark?

“You sure? You look like you want to punch someone.”

What he wants is praise from you! No, he doesn’t want it, he needs it. All the flowery words from the media and radio hosts mean nothing if he hasn’t heard one from you. Ever since he started his singing career, your opinion has always been one of the first ones he seeks. Without it, he’s lost. Left wondering whether his performance deserved the accolades, or they were only for his pretty face.

“Jeongguk, we’re here. Put a mask on and smile. You can worry about your best friend later,” Namjoon says the moment the car comes to a stop in the parking lot of a building somewhere in New York. Jeongguk looks at him as he’s getting off the vehicle, confused. His manager throws him a small smile. “Don’t look like that, it’s kinda obvious you’re thinking about her.”

“I haven’t heard from her since yesterday, hyung,” Jeongguk sighs. “I have the right to be worried.”

“You’re not the only one with stuff to do, you know? Maybe she’s busy too. I’m sure she’s fine,” Namjoon tries to reassure him. “Give her a call after this, to ease your mind.”

Namjoon is right. You’re probably busy juggling midterms and your part-time job back home. The chasm he felt yesterday opens back up, gaping to remind him that you two are worlds apart. Superstar Jeongguk who replies to texts in seven business days has no right demanding a reply from a regular college student after only one day.

Two more interviews. Two more songs to perform. Then he can hear your voice, see your face, and everything is going to be okay again.

Jeongguk finishes his schedule for the day a little after 1 AM. He tries to call you in the car, on the way back to his hotel. No answer. Tries again when he reaches his hotel room. Then tries again after he showered and changed into comfortable clothes to sleep in.

Ten missed calls.

Jeongguk goes to sleep with a dark cloud in his mind, completely restless.

In the morning, when the sun is already up—the way the moon is in Seoul, where you are—Jeongguk cracks his eyes open to stare at the ceiling in his room, his heart still heavy with worry. Also heavy is his head when he sits up on his huge hotel bed, likely due to his tossing and turning in his sleep all night. It doesn’t help that his lockscreen is still void of notifications labeled with your name. You’ve been MIA for almost two full days. Where are you?

He sends seven more bubbles in your chatroom, a sigh slipping past his lips when the tiny word under the blue bubble only reads delivered. He’s on his last thread of hope when he clicks on your contact picture to video call you, and that thread snaps when all he’s staring at on the screen is his own puffy and tired face.

Maybe he should order some breakfast. Get something to munch on, pry his mind away from the thought of you and what you’re up to in a country far, far away from where he is. He hopes you’re okay. He hopes you aced that midterm you were up until three to study for (although you spent the good part of the last hour talking to him on FaceTime). He hopes you’re eating well and not some instant cup ramyeon or shitty take-out from the Chinese place by your apartment that you frequent because it’s cheap.

After skimming through the room service menu, Jeongguk places an order of breakfast enough to feed five people. (What? He needs his energy. And a distraction.) The kind hotel staff who took his order informed him that his food will be ready in around 20 minutes. Good. Plenty of time to track his schedule for today and not think about you. (So much for a distraction.)

As it turns out, his itinerary for today is not packed with work schedule. Namjoon had only written ‘Explore’ along with a note to bring the camera noona who usually follows Jeongguk around to film all of his adventures as an idol. Said “adventure” is typically limited to dressing rooms of music shows, though. Oh, maybe Namjoon wants him to stroll around the city and make a vlog out of it, give his fans a little peek of what he does in his down time in New York.

In order to do that, he has to shower, get dressed, and maybe get his makeup done. He definitely needs to get his hair done, though, there’s no way he’s going out with this bird nest atop his head. Or maybe he could go natural, let his hair breathe for the day. Namjoon said it makes him look like a college boyfriend, and apparently, his fans love the look. Throw some hoodie and jeans on, and Jeongguk would be ready to go to class with you.

Ah, you again.

His mindless scrolling on Twitter in procrastination halts, the words on his phone not registering as his mind goes back to you. What would it feel like to go to class with you? To watch your focused face in class, trying to absorb knowledge from the professor? To be there next to you, answer your question whenever you struggle to grasp a concept? To be your college boy—

A knock on his door interrupts his thoughts.

Jeongguk stills, waits for the shout of room service! to follow, but it never comes. The clock on his phone tells him it’s only been 10 minutes since he ordered breakfast, so maybe it’s not room service after all. Maybe it’s a staff member, coming to tell him to get ready for the day.

As Jeongguk makes his way to the door, come some more knocks, this time more tentative than the one prior. Before he could reach the door, the person on the other side speaks.

“Jeongguk..?” It sounds muffled by the door, but the voice rings familiar in his ears. It’s the voice he last heard almost two days ago, via a video call connection between New York and Seoul. Could it be? No, it couldn’t … right?

Jeongguk’s eyes are right in front of the peephole just as the voice sounds again: “It’s me, Bun…”

There, in front of his hotel door, stands a girl 15 centimeters shorter than him, dressed in black jeans and her favorite sage green sweater, with a lump of black fabric hanging off her left arm. A faded black baseball cap sits on her head, so faded it looks almost navy. When she finally looks up to peek at the peephole, Jeongguk loses his breath.

It’s you. It’s really you.

Jeongguk is so stunned that he’s frozen in place, just staring at your confused expression that slowly morphs into one of anxiety.

“Did Namjoon give me the wrong room number..?” you mumble, fishing your phone out of your pocket.

Jeongguk has never yanked a door open that hard in his life.

You tear your eyes away from your phone, jumping in surprise at the sudden movement. His eyes lock with yours, and the shock on your face melts into a smile.

“Hi!”

You’re obviously exhausted, having just got off a 14-hour flight from Seoul, moving 13 timezones backward, seeing the sun when you’re supposed to see the moon. But the way you beam at him is full of glee, your eyes bright despite the obvious fatigue. Jeongguk is mesmerized.

Wordlessly, he reaches for your shoulders to pull you into a hug. They feel more prominent than the last time he hugged you, and he doesn’t know whether it’s from your haphazard eating schedule or just … time. He doesn’t remember when he last gave you a hug. Doesn’t remember the last time he saw you in the flesh like this.

“You just woke up, didn’t you?” you say from somewhere near his collarbone.

“Maybe,” Jeongguk mumbles. “Maybe not. I feel like I’m still dreaming.”

“Up in the clouds, are we?” you chuckle. “Well, if you’re done dreaming then maybe we could come in? Backpack’s starting to hurt my shoulders.”

It’s right at that second that Jeongguk just realizes the huge backpack hanging off your small frame. The poor bag is bursting at the seams, like it’s gonna comically explode if you even try to unzip it. Jeongguk closes his fingers around the small handle on top, testing the weight.

“Did you fit your whole life into this? Why is it so heavy?” he complains, immediately untangling your arms from his body so he can slide the backpack off you and onto him instead. “I feel like I’m about to do the 20 kilometers march in the military.”

“Hah! Try navigating JFK with that on your shoulders. It’s way harder than the military,” you huff, following Jeongguk into his hotel room.

He sets your backpack down on one of the couches, turning around to get answers to a thousand questions in his head, but pauses when he sees you’re still standing by the door. Your eyes are scanning the room slowly, stopping at Jeongguk to look at him with an unreadable expression on your face.

“What?” Jeongguk says.

“It’s huge,” you say. “The room, I mean. They usually are in your vlogs, but it’s different seeing it in person.”

This could turn into another conversation about their differences quickly, but Jeongguk is not in the mood to deal with distance today. For once, you’re an arms-length away from him. He doesn’t want to fuck this up and send you back to KST, 13 timezones away.

“Eh, I think your backpack is bigger.” He shrugs. Safe route, for now. “What do you have inside that bag, really?”

“My brick ass laptop, thank you,” you say sarcastically, finally going deeper into the room just to give your backpack a protective hug. “Still have a midterm to finish and submit here.”

“You still have midterms and you’re here in New York?” Jeongguk gapes. “Why?”

“Because you asked me to be here,” you state like it’s obvious. “Well, not like that, but you looked so sad on our last video call that I booked a flight here as soon as we hung up the call. Didn’t really realize the weight of it until I was watching your performance with Yeseo and I blurted out that I bought a ticket to New York and how maybe it was a stupid thing to do on a whim like that. She looked at me like I was stupid and said I should totally go. So. Here I am.”

If selective hearing is a sin, then Jeongguk would be guilty because he heard nothing beyond the part where you said you were watching his performance.

“You watched my performance?” He parrots his thoughts. “But you said you would have been asleep…”

“No sleep is worth my best friend’s sadness.” You throw him a small smile. “Actually, Yeseo set an alarm for it. And then I went to have the midterm with a terrible headache because I didn’t get enough sleep. But it’s worth it, the performance was amazing. You did great on that stage.”

“I did great…?”

At this point, Jeon Jeongguk should change his name to Parrot Jeongguk, because all he ever does is just repeat things he heard. First his thoughts, now you.

“Yes, of course you did great, Jeongguk. Wasn’t it obvious, the way your fans were screaming their lungs out for you?”

I only wanted to hear it from you, Jeongguk thinks. The media headlines and praises from the radio hosts and interviewers flash in his mind, all positive feedback for his performance, yet still planted a seed of doubt in his mind. It caused an ugly darkness to settle in his mind, one that worsened with every call you didn’t pick up.

“Why’d you ghost me, then?”

Way to ruin this moment, Jeon Jeongguk.

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. Between catching up on sleep and rushing for the flight, I just didn’t have the time to look at my phone at all. Also, I was on the plane? It takes a long time to get here from Korea if you didn’t know.”

“So it’s not because my performance is bad?”

You get up from your position on the couch to grip him on the shoulders, your nails digging into the material of his t-shirt. You have to strain your neck to be able to look him in the eyes, but you hold his gaze firmly like the position doesn’t hurt you at all.

“Jeon Jeongguk, listen to me. Your performance was great, you looked handsome, your singing was on-point, your high note was awesome, your dancing was super cool, and the crowd was really loud. I don’t know what kind of validation you seek, but I personally think everything about your performance was perfect.”

Yours. I only want your validation.

Slowly, the darkness in his mind begins to disperse, replaced by this warm beam of light piercing through the clouds. It settles in his mind like a blanket, protecting him from any more bad thoughts. He thinks it’s because of you, bringing light wherever you go. Can that light be shared with him? Will he glow from the inside out if he connects his lips with yours? Why does he want to lock lips with you?

“Jeongguk, are you okay? You look like you’re floating in the clouds again.”

Yeah. No. I want to press my lips against yours. Can I?

Three knocks sound from the door. And then: room service!

Jeongguk clears his throat (and his mind along with it.)

“Do you want to explore New York with me after we have breakfast?”

Jeongguk might want more, and he might be ready to admit it. After all, the light to his darkness is here. If not now, then when?

“Sure, it’ll be a fun best friend adventure!”

…maybe some other time.

a/n: thank you for reading! i'm planning to have a part 3 of this but let's see if i can actually find the time to write it ahah

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #fanfic #fic #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts au #bts college au #jungkook college au #jungkook drabble #jungkook oneshot #jungkook au #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook angst

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melit0n · 9 months ago

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Seen a couple other people do this, so, here are some recommendations for replacements for Wilbur's music and Lovejoy!

Crywank -> indie folk punk with lots of acoustic guitar with descriptions of paranoia, depression and a lot of dry humour.

Los Campesinos -> indie rock and indie pop! For their older music, they implement more 'emo' lyrics, but overall they have really good lyricism (you might have already heard them from Lovejoy's cover of Knee Deep At ATP!)

Arctic Monkeys -> literally what Lovejoy wanted to be. They come under almost every subsection of rock ever, and have the tendency to have absolutely stupendous bass lines.

Cavetown -> similar indie vibe to Wilbur's old music!

The Backseat Lovers -> alternate rock with intense and emotional lyrics! You may have heard of them from 'Kilby Girl' from their 2019 album 'When We Were Friends'

James Marriott -> obvious choice! As a prev Lovejoy fan, I can tell all of you you'd really anjoy his music.

Together Pangea -> typically fast paced, garage pop, or whatever you want to call it. They also have a small US tour happening soon!

Half·Alive -> you may have heard them from 'Creature' from their album 'Now, not yet'. I highly recommend these guys; very lyrical and have an insanely beautiful mix of jazz, rock and pop.

The Frights -> another indie rock/pop band! Has some really fast paced stuff, and some calmer acoustic stuff.

I've seen a lot of people saying 'seperate the art from the artist!' but, full honesty, go listen to new music! I can't take back the emotional attachment I had to his old music, especially YCMGA, but listening to his shit gives him money, and there is no way I'm giving money to an abuser. Let alone, it's become glaringly obvious that the e-girl trilogy isn't a persona, that was just him. Let alone the theme of Your Sister Was Right.

Plus, he's said multiple times that the money and the fame was all he cared about; he would disappear for months and, when he wanted attention and money, would come back to a dedicated fan-base who gave him exactly what he wanted.

Go listen to new music, and support Shelby lads <3

#also been seeing some stuff float around about his off screen abuse to his younger fans which I might talk about later #because what the fuck man #lovejoy #the band lovejoy #wilbur soot

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kissedloveletters · 6 days ago

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baking, multi (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) how they’re like when baking

characters . sanemi shinazugawa, genya shinazugawa, tanjiro kamado, ◛ 𑙒 ♡ ՞ warnings . fluff、modern au. admin note . aaa its so good to finally be back from a hiatusss !! I missed writing sm, hope this makes me disappearing up! ໒ ᩧ꒱

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA.

well it’s both of yours second anniversary of being married so why not have some quality time by cooking a cake? seems wholesome, hmm..

you suggested the idea and he thought it was cute so of course he accepted, plus any quality time with you is of course the best, taking the day off of his work for you! how sweet!

theennn, the two of you are idiots and burned the cake twice or thrice, but it’s okay, the fourth time was a charm and came out well!

you slap him once with flour on your hand playfully, he either ignores it and smiles or it turns into a mess, either one that flows your boat.

sanemi learned one thing or two from this experience, that no, cornstarch cant be a replacement for flour and that you two are bad at baking, equally.

alot of “nemi, can you get that for me?”

defiantly hugs you from behind and watches over your shoulder when you’re mixing, sometimes not watching and closes his eye and snooze a little

wipes the frosting off of your face with his thumb, would lick it teasingly at times but he has table manners

you two made little doodles on the cake with both of you on it.. ( maybe on each other too )

GENYA SHINAZUGAWA.

he defiantly tried to surprise you with cookies and then burned them, then tried again and managed to make them too big; then he’s frustrated how he can’t do a simple thing as baking

but he doesn’t give up, despite the horrid mess he proceeds attempt to clean up while making his 5th batch. it’s for you so he has to give all his efforts even if he feels like it’s impossible for him .

he didn’t check the time he spent and then you came home, to a messy kitchen and a messy genya. he gets so embarrassed and red on his ears.

trying to make excuses to not seem ‘pathetic’ for not being able to bake simple cookies, he’s so cute you couldn’t be mad at him (╥_╥)

TANJIRO KAMADO.

he actually baked and cooked for his family a lot many times so baking with him would be easy since you haven’t done it before, or maybe you thought.

he’s sorta like a mom you tried to help cook and stuff but you kinda ended up in their way somehow, but he really does try to include you while he’s making the pastries for you both

it’s basically almost that “let’s bake but you can only watch” but he lets you mix the batter for the brownies. brownies are hard to make but he defiantly made it alot of times you could count so, you basically have a professional with you!

of course it would end up perfectly with you two eating in delight

#︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵#demon slayer x reader #fluff #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kny fluff #kny x reader #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x reader #tanjiro kamado x reader #tanjiro fluff #tanjiro x reader #genya shinazugawa x reader #genya fluff #genya x reader

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seat-safety-switch · 5 months ago

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"Ribfest is back," shouts The Mayor, immediately before he descends into the turret of the tank and seals the door behind him. He is not wrong: Ribfest is indeed scheduled for this weekend, but the amount of cowardice shown in this one interaction makes me question his moral authority to preside over it.

This event is special in my town, but not for the reason that it used to be. Every year lately, folks get tooled-up on their homemade barbecue sauces and start to lay siege to the town around them. Nobody is really sure why this started so recently, but the active theory from the FEMA scientists is that AliExpress "has a lot of great shit for sale" and you'd be stupid not to experiment with putting some of it on some fall-off-the-bone braised pork.

Now, most folks would tell you that if you're going to end up fighting off your neighbour with an ice pick every year, simply don't go. This is a dismissive argument made in poor faith. And, worse than that, it's disrespectful to the meats, a concept that would make my dear mother faint in horror. The threat of imminent death that hangs over every moment of the proceedings simply adds a new dimension to the flavour.

Here's how I do it: I get in and I get out, fast. You don't want to be caught unaware while you're busy tucking into some "C"-tier stuff slopped out by the kindergarten teacher, Ms. Shotwell. No, the real strategist figures out from last year's ordeal who has the best barbecue in town. And this time, it's Barley Mowat, a young gun who used to be a television journalist before the Bad Times began. He got replaced by a machine sentience, has no job. Lives for the ribs, as do most of us now. Sometimes he starts to tell you a fact about how sewer pipes are made, or how many football fields long a structure is. It's best to just let him talk, even outside of the shrieking rage fest of a Ribfest-induced hallucination. We hang out at the bar, sometimes. He drinks a lot.

Barley's ribs are once again top-tier: he's got some kind of green chile sauce this year. Lends a real taste of the Southwest to every bite, which is tender and rich in equal measure. Plus, he clobbered a dude from the backpack store with a golf club when he tried to steal the up-armoured NASCAR that I used to drive to the event. Don't park in the designated spots, folks: like I said, get in and get out.

#ribfest

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 2 years ago

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I love jack so so much he's perfect but tbh I do think it would've worked much more with the show if he was a destiel baby instead of lucifer's. and I'm not just saying that as a shipper or whatever I mean narratively it would've been a lot cleaner- and actually, I think it would've been super funny to no-homo them creating a baby together, like, literally all they would have to do is say "oh, when cas rebuilt dean after hell he accidentally left some grace tangled in his soul, and every time he's healed him since then it's been growing stronger until a nephilim was born". like yes the studio is homophibic etc etc but all the jokes they'd make about dean being spiritually pregnant would be very funny for me personally.

but ANYWAY, jack's story gets messy and convoluted and I think this would've been like...a simple fix. them worrying about him going dark side could be because they're worried how demon!dean and lucifer!cas affected him in development, the show LOVES bloodline drama, chuck's wanting abraham and issac 2.0 would've worked better this way, dean's storyline with him would be improved, bc rather than 'oh no I slowly but surely emotionally adopted the antichrist' like I think he would've had an easier time clocking his john-behavoir if it wasn't a question whether he was jack's dad or not. plus last time dean actively raised a kid he went to great lengths to keep the supernatural away from him, so it'd be interesting to see how he handles a kid he CANT possibly hide from this part of his life. it would make more sense why michael wanted jack as a vessel- yes obviously he wanted the nephilim power boost but also having him as part of the winchester bloodline, making him a PERFECT vessel he doesn't have to worry about burning up would add a lot. we could also use this argument for why lucifer is so interested in him if anyone actually liked that plotline in season 14 lmao. we know chuck hated cas and dean's relationship, could you imagine if he checked in and found out they made an unauthorized baby together💀 like that really would've given better context for why he hates jack so much. cas wouldn't need that whole weird brainwashing arc to wanna protect unborn jack, PLUS it could've been an interesting source of angst for him- he feels like he's failed once again, creating an abomination and putting dean in danger, but also still loves jack immensely. it'd be so good! also imagine how fucking stressed out heaven would be to find out a mini castiel is on the way. they wouldn't even wanna exploit that kid for power they'd be preemptively treating the headaches they know they're gonna get lmfao.

also. the casting directors literally put jensen and misha into a face morph app and cast the first actor they could find that matched the results. which would've made more sense if,,,,he was just Theirs. the comedy of dean and cas making a baby before either of them managed to admit their feelings to each other would be more fun then the "dude adopted a kid and pawns him off on his unwilling roommate's all the time and they eventually warm up to the kid" storyline we actually got. we also could've replaced some of the jack-dean angst from the show with "dean wants to connect more with jack but he feels shut out whenever cas is around bc he can't relate to any angel stuff so obviously jack's going to cas for help more!", which I think would be interesting!! how AWFUL dean and cas would feel that jack didn't feel safe enough to be a baby. dad!sam is still in full swing but he cares for jack right off the bat instead of trying to use him for his powers at first. lily sunder talking about how cas killed her kid bc he thought it was a nephilim and dean, who's already fully aware he's (spiritually) knocked up by cas is like 👹 inch resting cas-tee-elle tell me more. mary having a 'my baby has a baby' crisis. cas insisting jack looks nothing like him is a running joke but then at some point he explains its bc jack's 'true form' looks just like dean's soul....

ALSO- in a show where, canonically, the very first act of free will was cas falling in love with dean...the physical manifestation of that defeating chuck and taking his place as god? come ON.

#jack kline #destiel #spn #supernatural #deancas #molly mumbles

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stoutguts · 3 months ago

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ADHD/neurodivergent 🧼 (💀🧼 too bc why not/it's my comfort ship and I love them)

(chock full of my own personal HCs and ideas, also mental health stuff/issues/problems heyo)

I am most definitely all for autistic Ghost, but what about ADHD brain/neurodivergent Soap? I've seen few people talk about this or explore it so here we go.

Like, even though Johnny's generally laid back, he still tends to be very hyper or high-strung. Maybe even overwhelming for some people, and is easily excited almost like a puppy (golden retriever Soap my beloved), (Ghost thinking it's literally the cutest thing ever). Bro has either the attention span of a nat or is so hyper-focused on something he forgets to blink.

He has APD (auditory processing disorder),—and will ask you to repeat yourself 15+ times before he finally understands what your saying. This is incredibly frustrating for him, but like Price will lose his shit, because having to repeat himself is like one of his pet peeves lmao. Same thing, with Yuri.

Even Ghost and Gaz get fed up with him on occasion. Though Roach doesn’t give a fuck because they’re just as ADHD as him, and just loves to talk, plus their echolalia helps to sort things out lots of times. Gaz will give him the silent treatment and refuse to talk to him. Usually when Simon finally gets irritated with him it's lead to a fight. But it isn't long before Ghost feels bad and apologizes, and reassures him saying "I know you can't help it". Simon tries to work on learning to be more patient specifically for him. 💕

He does the same things that Simon does to stim, (though particularly pacing and bouncing his leg). But he also likes to chew on everything, whether it’s a pen/pencil, a cap off a water bottle or other plastic drink bottle—(This pisses off Simon in particular, and they’re always scolding him about how he’s gonna end up choking on it. Not to mention, he always leaves the nasty ass, spit-covered things around and forgets to throw them away after he’s done with one. Either leaving Ghost to pick up after him much to his disgust, or forcing Johnny to throw his own shit away, (as he should). If he gets ahold one of those spiky silicone balls from an arcade machine he likes to bite the nibs on it, etc. Simon has even bought him some chewlery because he orally stims so much, to which Soap uses all the time and was overjoyed when Ghost first got it for him. Though his chewlery needs to constantly be replaced because Johnny has unusually strong and sharp teeth. It’s not uncommon for him to completely destroy shit that he gets his paws on. Simon often comparing him to a dog or a teething puppy.

I am also totally for Johnny being just as mentally fucked as Ghost.

He’s the four b's, bisexual, bipolar, bilingual, and a bitch.

Like Simon, Johnny has generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), for similar or for maybe even the same reasons as Ghost. Not nearly to the same level of severity, but panic attacks and flashbacks do happen on occasion. As with certain things he's easily triggered.

He also struggles with bipolar disorder and/or severe manic depression. His bipolar tendencies making it incredibly difficult to maintain relationships in his youth, among many other things, (his past drug abuse/addiction only making him worse and more unstable). Though these days he’s medicated and for the most part stable, only sometimes going off his meds, (particularly when he relapses or is heavily triggered by something).

No therapist has ever been able to help Soap, though he does see a psychiatrist regularly.

Mostly for anti-psychotics and other prescription refills and the like, but can vent as much as he likes to them. Either that, or Simon doesn't mind lending an ear to listen when he needs it.

Similar to Ghost, Johnny can have very low self-esteem, but can also be of very high self-esteem, (it fluctuates due to his manic depression). And Simon is more than willing to give him reassurance and comfort, but equally doesn't mind knocking him off his high-horse, and/or, taking down his ego a few pegs if need be. (Which isn't so bad, as Johnny just so happens to have a degradation kink). >:3

Johnny is a highly reserved person, (though he’s able to put on a mask/a show for other people and strangers), and pretty stoic (all things considered), due to his traumatic upbringing. He has a very unhealthy habit of bottling up his emotions until he quite literally explodes, though he's trying to get better about that. But he can’t help but genuinely let his guard down, and has LEARNED to let his guard down around Ghost, the 1-4-1, and his sisters (the most important people in his life).

This tidbit has less to do with mental health and rather his personality but I still wanted to include it here so…

Soap is highly perceptive and emotionally intelligent. You can't hide anything from him as he can always tell when someone's lying to him, and he always knows when something's wrong. A true empath. He's also a very good liar himself because of this, but he uses this secret power responsibly, and would never lie to those closest to him and/or his loved ones.

All members of the 1-4-1 having highly specific phobias? Yes please.

As for Johnny…

He is deathly afraid of needles and hospitals (Trypanophobia and Nosocomephobia), because when he was growing up and as a young kid he was quite sickly, and often was in and out of the hospital. He's immunocomprised and gets sicks all the time, most of the time nowadays when he gets sick it's just a small cold, with the occasional illness that may put him out of commission for a bit—Simon always doting over him and making sure he’s okay when he even so much as senses he’s got a runny nose—Johnny finding it incredibly endearing, but when he was a child it was horrible. When he was hospitalized he'd suffer at the hands of doctors and nurses much too often, going through one too many traumatic experiences. Mostly, because of incompetence or just straight up apathy. Getting his IV done is the worst, because he's cursed with almost non-existent and small veins. Oh so jealous, of Ghost's huge and bulging veins. Someone will stick him upwards of 10 times or more, or until his arms are swollen, until they finally get it right usually. Not to mention, Johnny also has Hemophilia, and so he bleeds a lot which only makes it even more distressing. Soap specifically underwent medical and first-aid training, just so he could avoid going to medical himself as much as possible. His medical knowledge and training has happened to pay off lots of times in the field, for himself or for his teammates or squad’s sakes. Despite his aversion, he's not squeamish at all when it comes to mending his own wounds, or others weirdly enough. Even if he's severely injured he refuses to go to medical. Simon used to get really mad at him for this, because of not only his stubbornness, but seemingly his cockiness was what really pissed him off. And they know Johnny’s skills only go so far, and he's immunocomprised and a hemophiliac for crying out loud. Eventually Ghost confronted him about this, and after Soap explained everything it was a lot more understanding and sympathetic. Though it didn’t change the fact that it will borderline harass him if he’s seriously hurt and won’t go help himself, or just straight up force him to go to medical. Johnny always protests but ultimately he gives in, and Simon makes sure to give him emotional support and stay with him when he needs patched up.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, next post will be about my take on Ghost, his mental health, his autism, etc, probably!

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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months ago

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Friendship ended with google sheets, now filofax is my best friend

#i’ve been tying to come up with a system for verb conjugations #like recording all the verbs i’ve encountered in spanish and their conjugations. just in present tense for now and then i will learn #past and future and any other cases or tenses i may need #and i did buy a dedicated language journal (which i’m really enjoying using. it has habit trackers; lots of space for notetaking and doing #textbook exercises; sections for vocab lists and to write out/give examples of grammar rules; journal prompts for writing #in your target language etc) but it only has 48 verb conjugation tables #i have already encountered 77 different verbs in some form or another and recorded their infinitives so that i can table them #even if i’m just focusing on the present tense right now i do not have enough space and i don’t want to clutter up the rest of my note pages #with just conjugation tables #so i needed a system and at first i was going to do a spreadsheet but then i was like realistically i will spend WAY too long on the layout #and i don’t think i’ll actually use it that much because google sheets is so fucking awkward on my phone #i’d have to pull my whole laptop out just to look at this spreadsheet. it won’t be fun. it’ll seem too much like hard work #so i thought okay. what do i actually want from a verb conjugation system. some form of organisation for sure. colour coding #the ability to move stuff around if i want to #so i’m just using my filofax and various pens #it’s a personal size filofax so i can fit two verbs per page plus a couple of sample sentences using the verbs #i am SO much more likely to grab this and use it; especially if i keep it with my main language journal #and i can always add new pages. or if i run out of space i can take out verbs i’m confident with now and replace with verbs i’m trying #to learn. (i’m starting with just the most essential verbs. since that’s the ones i’m usually finding anyway in A1 content)#i’m really happy with this idea tbh. i don’t know if i already said that #personal

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daisyofwaterdeep · 30 days ago

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🎉🎉PREMATURE EJACULATION🎉🎉

I would leave the ask at that but I should probably clarify that I would die and go to heaven if you’d write how you think any of various bg3 boys would react to blowing their load wayyy too early <3 <3 ESPECIALLY the more experienced/older Gentlemen like Gale/Halsin/Gortash/Zevlor/Etc. !!!

now THIS is the stuff im fucking here for BLESS YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH AND BACK

I ended up doing Gale, Halsin, Gortash, Zevlor, Ketheric, and the king of one-pump-chumps, Raphael (*￣▽￣*)ブ

!NSFW!

Gale: He'll be so, so embarrassed. He'll try to keep going, pretending it didn't happen, fucking you with his overly sensitive and softening cock. When you notice that he's having...performance issues and stop him to ask what's wrong, he'll stumble out a slew of apologies and tell you that he got too excited. If you tell him that you find it incredibly erotic that he couldn't hold himself back, he'll be reassured (and also hard again in no time hghgh)

Halsin: Few things embarrass him in the bedroom, and cumming too quickly isn't one of them. As soon as he moans through his orgasm, he'll pull out and immediately replace his cock with as many fingers as he can fit in you, looking at you with love-dazed eyes as he fingerfucks his cum deeper inside of you. His agenda in the bedroom is to have you cum at least 3 times; once from his hands, once from his tongue, and once from his cock-- at the least. So he's fine letting his dick rest for awhile, because he's still got plenty he plans to do to you.

Gortash: He literally doesn't give a shit. He has no shame. He's a busy man and he doesn't have a lot of time for sex, so when he finally does get to fuck you, he doesn't try to stave off his orgasm. If he cums as soon as he slides into you, he doesn't care--he can't help that you feel so fucking good. And plus, it gives him an opportunity to eat his cum out of you, which just so happens to be one of his favorite things

Zevlor: As soon as it happens, he'll pull away. He'll try to isolate himself-- he just wants to leave. He had worried that this would happen, and it did. There's no way that an old man like him can please someone as young and energetic as yourself...But of course, you don't care in the slightest. Pull your hellrider close and lock your limbs around him so he can't escape. Tell him how you've never felt this beautiful and desired before, that perhaps you had doubts about being with him too, because he's just so handsome and clever and strong and perfect. But having him want you so much that he came almost immediately...you don't have any doubts any more. Tell him just how lucky and loved you feel in that moment, and kiss and hold him until he's ready for round two <3

Ketheric: He hasn't had sex in over a hundred years, did you really think he'd last long? Well, he's a proud man, and he thought he could still hold on for more than a few grinds of you in his lap. And he was doing a good job of it too, until you wrapped your arms around his neck and whimpered out that you loved him. Surprisingly strong arms pull you crushingly close as he jerks his hips roughly up into you, then he stills with a heavy sigh from his nose. You can sense that his pride's been wounded with the way he stays locked into place, not allowing you to move. Just hold him close, kissing anywhere you can reach as he silently works himself through his shame

Raphael: It's not his problem to deal with. He got what he wanted, and that's all that matters. A few pumps, a languid, showy moan, and he's rolling over and ready to take a nap. You can either lay there and resent him (he doesn't care, because he still got an orgasm out of it) or you can climb on top of him and make him fuck you properly (joke's on you because that's secretly what he wanted--to have you do all the work and to overstimulate him until he can't even speak). When dealing with a devil, the devil always wins.

#daisy dabbles #requests #gale dekarios #halsin silverbough #enver gortash #zevlor #ketheric thorm #raphael bg3 #sighs dreamily...gonna be thinking about this ask for a long long time #nsft

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