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luna-writes-stuff · 3 years

Note

Hey I saw that your asks are open for Fili and Kili. I was wondering if you could do a fic or hc about Kili were he falls for the reader and tries to flirt with her but makes her laugh instead. He gets flustered and embarrassed.

Stupid Things, Kili Durin

first fic I’ve published so far and I was nervous???? While I’m literally writing a book????? So technically it’s nothing new????? But still?????

Fic, female s/o

Tw: misread signs? Kili being insecure? Flirting?

For Kili it was as clear as the sky on a warm morning in July; when you first caught his eye, he had grown absolutely smitten with you.

His mother had told him thousands of stories growing up. On how dwarves were once born in pairs, yet separated after years, forced to find each other in another life where they might not even remember their One. These stories had always held hope for Kili, even as he grew beyond the age of being called a dwarfling.

His beard had never truly come out and his hair had not once adorned braids, causing others to make fun of him, claiming he had not been a true dwarf. He felt silly holding onto the hope of finding his One, yet he could never bring himself to forget it. No matter how much life opposed him at times.

And the moment he met you, he had been glad he never gave up.

Every little detail of that day had been imprinted on his mind. From the way you wore your hair to the outfit that adorned your body. He knew you were his One. His mother told him exactly how she felt upon meeting his father, and even though the words always made Kili gag, he now knew she had never been exaggerating.

The whole journey he tried to gain your attention, but whenever you spared him a glance, he always shrunk back, afraid you’d reject him as his kin once had.

Fíli knew what was going on when Kili refused to joke around with the other one night. He had not been as blind as their company. He had spent days trying to talk some sense into his brother, claiming you had liked him as much as he liked you, but - unfortunately -, Kili had inherited his uncle’s stubbornness.

Yet, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Kili grew some courage. You had opened up to the company more, giving him more conversational topics and shared interests. And it had gone well for a while; the two of you got along amazing, never once disagreeing or ignoring one another. And all those talks encouraged Kili to show you he truly cared for you. More than any other has had before.

You grew more teasing and joking amongst each other, finding weak links and soft spots, never failing to make each other laugh. And it gave him courage, until - one night - his bravery overtook him. You had been talking like any other night, when he zoned off, not listening to a word you said anymore.

Instead, he had been trying to find the words he had repeated in his head the entire day. But as your eyes rested on him, he could no longer remember what it was. You were so breathtaking you made him forget his pickup line.

Just then, you were quiet, searching his face before letting out a joyful laughter.

“I’m flattered, Kili.” You began, resting your hand on his shoulder, leaning over in laughter. “Could you not have told me we were doing pickup lines tonight? I would’ve prepared myself.”

He had said it out loud. And he hadn’t even noticed it. He didn’t even know how much you had heard.

“It it hot in here or is it just you?” You retorted playfully, but when Kili made no move to laugh, you slowly stifled your laughter. “I know, that one was horrible. I should’ve been prepared.” You defended, letting go of his shoulder.

You may not have noticed it, but Kili’s brain just ran on short circuit. His entire face he heated up and he was sure it would leave a red glow. His ears felt as if they were on fire as his mind just kept repeating the same words over and over and over again.

How could he do easily let these words slip past his lips? And he didn’t even know how to respond to you. Had you been making fun of him or were you reciprocating his flirtatious attempts? Perhaps he should just walk off before more damage could be done. Should he say something? Or would it only make it worse?

“Are you still in there, Kili?” You asked, snapping him out of his daze, your hand in front of his face, trying to get his eyes to follow your fingers. When his eyes finally made contact with yours, you let out a relieved sigh.

“I thought I just broke you with a stupid sentence.” You explained, leaning back against the tree, your hand slowly lowering.

“I’m sorry for letting my mouth walk free like that.” Kili apologized, now looking back down on his lap, insecurities taking over.

You might not have picked onto his true intentions, but you knew whenever someone did not feel comfortable. And right now, Kili looked as if he could bury himself six feet under. Which may have been true if you would have asked him.

“Don’t apologize. It was sweet.” You concluded, shifting your place so you would be seated next to him. “Though I do not know whether you were joking or not.” You admitted, resting your head on his shoulder.

And at that moment, Kili felt his heart skip a beat. He had heard many people say that the feeling of a skipping heart felt foreign yet welcome all the same, but never once had he experienced it. And now that it happened, he knew why people described it like that.

His entire body froze in that exact moment. Should he lean his head against yours? How should he place his legs? Could he hold your hand?

“Yes, you can hold my hand, Kili. Though, you do know it’s just the two of us, right? You’re not talking to someone else.” You mumbled, already reaching for his hand.

His eyes followed the trail your hands made, as if they could snap up any minute. Yet, as they came into contact with his, his body finally relaxed.

“How much did I say?” He whispered quietly, almost scared of the answer.

“You asked me if you were allowed to hold my hand.” You explained, now looking back up at him. Your face had no longer held the joyeus wrinkles it had before, seconds before laughing at his statements. It was laced with worries and doubts. Not for you, but for him.

“Are you okay?” You carefully asked, afraid you’d had been overstepping some form of boundary.

“You make me do stupid things.” Kili spoke, the sentence flowing out as if it had been on his tongue the entire time.

“Thank you?” You answered hesitantly, not sure whether he was insulting you or compliment you.

It seemed as if Kili could sense your doubt, because his explanation follows not long after. “Not wrong stupid things. Just….unfamiliar stupid things.”

“You’re familiar with a lot of stupid things?” You wondered aloud, your head back on his shoulder, happy to have found some form of solid social interaction again.

“You’d be surprised.” Kili spoke.

“Perhaps the two of us can find a way to correctly discover these unfamiliar stupid things.” You hinted, gently squeezing his hand, making Kili’s heart skip yet another beat. It was a feeling he could get used to. It had not been unpleasant, only surprising, yet he could not find himself ever getting enough of it.

“Beg your pardon?” He asked, not catching the meaning of your words, now entirely focused on your hand in his.

“Fili was right. You are dense.” Now anxiety krept up on him again. What had Fili said? Question circled back around in his head, insecurities settling in again.

“You spoke with Fili?” He nearly managed out, his clothes suddenly feeling uncomfortable warm.

“More like, Fili spoke to me.” You admitted, looking up at the nervous dwarf.

“What did he say?” Kili wondered, no longer beating around the bush. “Nothing that made sense.” You reassured, not sure why Kili suddenly became so closed off again.

“But we could figure out together.” You tried to hush, doing your best to soothe the situation. And it seemed to work. The minute Kili looked back at you again, his eyes were filled with relief instead of doubt.

“Only if you want to.” He stated, finally squeezing your hand back. A verbal answered was not received by him. Only a satisfied smile and a content nod. No intention was made for you to move, and you truly didn’t feel like it. You found a comfortable spot and would not move again until Kili decided you should.

And Kili would never say so. In his eyes, you could’ve stayed there all night and he couldn’t have cared less. He was just relieved that the tension was finally gone, even if it went unnoticed by you. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad with you by his side.

#tolkien #the hobbit #Kili durin #Kili #Fili and kili #Aidan turner #kili x reader #Kili imagine #lord of the rings #send asks #requests open

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writertitan · 4 years

Text

Unrequited

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 2671

themes: unrequited love, lots of pining, canonverse plot

requested by anon

Hushed whispers sound throughout the crowd as the Scouting Regiment treks towards the wall. You ignore everything that’s said, even if it’s praise, even if it’s libel. As you elbow your way towards the front, all you care about is getting a good view of the Scouts.

Ever since you were a child, you’d made it your mission to see the Scouts off and then welcome them back, no matter what. Even if it means you have to drop everything you’re doing, like now.

Today, you know it’s just a general scouting mission to map out some new terrain. In theory, there shouldn’t be too many casualties. So today, you have high hopes that you’ll see most of the stoic faces passing you by again.

You’ve tried your best to learn names, but so far you can only memorize faces. It soothes you, to know that there are enough Scouts that you can’t name them all.

You ignore the whispers as your eyes scan over every face, silently wishing them a safe journey outside the walls. People always have something to say. It’s long since stopped bothering you to the point of vocalizing your own opinions, but it’s still annoying to hear the mix of disdain and pure awe threading along the throngs of civilians. Why can’t they just have some respect?

There’s a small commotion in the Scouts’ formation that grabs your attention. Immediately, you notice Commander Erwin, one of the names you know well, obviously. But today, there are new faces riding alongside Erwin. A blond man, a red-haired girl, and a raven-haired man. None of these are Scouts you’ve seen before, but they appear close with each other.

New recruits, you conclude.

The way your gaze falls back to the raven-haired man time and time again has you confused. There’s a small part of you that just feels pulled to him, as if by gravity, but you don’t know why. You end up keeping your eyes on him as he passes you by, with him never once glancing at you, and you don’t look away even when you’re just watching the back of his head.

With a start, you realize you didn’t wish the rest of the Scouts a safe journey. You’d been so busy staring at the strange, new man that you had forgotten your little ritual. It makes you panic a little, which is silly. It’s just a ritual that you’ve imposed on yourself. Everyone will be fine, whether you wish them luck and safety or not.

But you forget about how silly you felt earlier when you’re gathered outside to welcome the Scouts back later on, with a huge chunk of them gone, or carried in wagons.

The relief you feel when you see a head of black hair is short-lived for a multitude of reasons. He looks haunted upon closer inspection. The blond man and red-haired girl are nowhere to be found. And you feel sick at the thought you would even feel relief that he’s okay, when so many of his comrades are not okay at all.

When he’s passing you by, so close and yet so far, you hear Commander Erwin address him as “Levi,” and your brain sears the name into your memory.

“Levi,” you whisper to yourself, tasting the name on your tongue. You want to tell him you’re glad he’s safe, that you’re sorry about his comrades, but you don’t. Instead, as he disappears from your sight, you walk back to your little shop and get back to work.

The next send-off feels different than all the rest. This time around, you feel almost fluttery, and there’s a ball of anticipation weighing in your stomach as you push your way to the front of the crowd for a good view. You tell yourself that you don’t know why you’ve been looking forward to seeing the Scouts. A fleeting memory of black hair is one you push to the back of your mind.

When the first of them come into view, you crane your neck for a good view, eyes making sure to land on every face and wish them a safe journey.

The whispers start up instantly and you grit your teeth. You could have sworn you were used to it by now. So, you tune it out, and you wait. You wait until Commander Erwin comes into view. And then, when you realize you’ve correctly guessed there would be a dark-haired man by his side, that fluttery feeling you’ve had inside of you all day erupts and you actually feel physically shaky now as they come closer and closer.

“Have you heard those rumors about Levi?”

Suddenly, you’re interested in the whispers.

“Yeah, I heard he’s a hard criminal. This is how they’re making him pay for his sins. It was either join the Scouts or get the death penalty.”

There’s a snort, and then a cruel, “Kinda the same thing.”

You ball your hands into fists and stuff them into your apron so you don’t get carried away.

As Erwin and Levi pass by on their horses, you gaze up at them in awe, but again your eyes go to Levi.

And then you feel it again. The gravity. The sight of Levi pulls you in and your gaze feels anchored to him only.

But you’ve learned your lesson and this time, you tear your gaze away to look at every other face that passes you by, so you can wish them luck and safety outside the walls.

When you go back to work, you let yourself reminisce on Levi’s profile, the straightness of his nose, the jut of his chin, the delicate curve of his cheek. He somehow looks more stoic than Commander Erwin, which you didn’t think was possible.

Your eyes flutter to the window of your shop and you sigh dreamily, whispering out what you can’t say to Levi directly.

“Be safe, please.”

It goes from just Levi to Captain Levi very quickly and you feel a surge of pride course through you when those whispers make their way into your ears. From what you’ve heard, Levi - Captain Levi - is supremely gifted at being a fighter, a soldier, and has steadily been racking up his number of titan kills. He’s impressive and people are recognizing that he’s impressive. It makes you grin from ear to ear until the recognition reaches Anya and Lumie, the two girls who work in the tavern just around the corner. It’s their whispering that you listen to as you wait for the Scouts to return from their latest expedition. It’s not really whispering, since they’re a few people down and you can still hear everything.

“He’s strong and he’s a captain now, and very handsome,” you hear Lumie say.

“And the best part? He’s a bachelor!” Anya responds excitedly. “Who cares if he’s short?”

You bristle at the backhanded compliment.

Anya and Lumie are at the front of the crowd as well, but just a few people away from you, and they use it to their advantage as Captain Levi comes into view.

He’s as neutral-faced as ever, but he seems to snap out of it as Anya and Lumie call out to him.

“Hi, Captain Levi!”

“Welcome back, Captain Levi!”

They both giggle and wave and you can’t help but notice how supremely beautiful they look today under the late afternoon sun, with their shiny hair and rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes.

When Captain Levi catches sight of them and nods to them in acknowledgment, your heart thrums in some panicked way.

You so badly want to speak to him. You want to suddenly have the courage to raise up your hand and wave to him and call out his name and say hello, and say thank you.

You don’t do any of that. You’re very aware that, under this late afternoon sun, you’re sweaty and frazzled.

Captain Levi turns his gaze straight ahead as he passes you by. He doesn’t see you at all, you don’t catch his eye, but the gravity is full force for you and you gaze longingly at his retreating form even as people start dispersing.

You’re late to get back to work.

When the day comes that you don’t see Captain Levi riding back inside the walls on his horse, bile starts to rise in your throat at what that could mean. Humanity’s Strongest couldn’t have been hurt...or worse...right?

You see Commander Erwin, his face blank, and your bottom lip trembles when your eyes don’t catch sight of the familiar head of black hair.

“Where are you?” you whisper to yourself, willing the wind to carry your words to the Scouts, as if someone could hear and answer your question somehow.

The civilians are whispering again (what else is new?), but the whispers are as panicked and curious as you feel inside.

You grow more and more frantic when Levi doesn’t turn up, and you really do contemplate it. You contemplate stepping forward and grabbing a scout by the shoulders and shaking them and demanding to know where Captain Levi is.

The scenario plays in your head clearly and is enough to make you take a step forward, a hand outstretched to grab the attention of a scout. But then the whispers melt into disbelief, and then back into that disdain you’ve grown familiar with.

“...so-called Humanity’s Strongest,” you hear the end of a whisper.

“He’s in that wagon there. Apparently got hurt,” another voice says.

Your eyes lock on the wagon that’s pointed out by a stranger, and your breath catches in your throat when you see the black hair you’ve been seeking out.

Levi is draped in his green cloak and it’s smattered with blood. He’s bandaged up. His head is held high, but his eyes are as haunted as they were when he had come back that fateful day without the blond and redhead.

As the wagon nears you, you’re about to send that silent relief that you’re glad he’s okay, but an unexpected thing happens.

The man next to you decides to act on a moment of boldness. He cups his hands around his mouth and says something that makes you snap.

“Not so strong now, are ya, Captain Levi?”

And just like that, Levi’s eyes snap towards your general direction and you freeze for a split second. The moment you’ve only dreamt of up until now is about to happen, and for all the wrong reasons. What if Levi looks at you and thinks you associate with this asshole who says cruel things?

You don’t know what takes over your body when you shove the man, hard, and then raise your hand to slap him across his stupid face.

“Shut up!” you seethe, hand flying down to finally land that slap to his face.

But someone from behind you snatches your wrist before your palm can make excruciating contact with the man’s cheek.

You don’t fight it. Instead, your gaze goes back to where it always goes. Your heart stops.

Levi is looking at you, at you, and his expression is unreadable. Any thought in your mind whooshes right out and you feel as if you’re floating, but it’s sort of an uncomfortable feeling, like you won’t be able to come down to earth.

Your mouth gapes for a moment as you try to say something, anything, while Levi’s attention is on you, but all you can register in your mind is that this is the first time you’ve noticed the color of Levi’s eyes. They’re a dazzling and unusual grey. You wouldn’t have ever known that if he had never looked at you.

“Thank you,” you call out to him without thinking. You must look like quite the sight, with frenzied eyes and being held back from smacking the lights out of a stranger. You try not to think about how you look, and think about what you’ve just said.

You know how he’ll take it. He’ll think you’re thanking him for his service, for his bravery, for his efforts to save humanity.

You are the only one who knows that you’re thanking him for finally noticing you, and for allowing you to find out that he has the most beautiful eyes.

Maybe you just imagine it, but you swear that there’s a small flash of gratitude in his eyes, and that alone makes the scene you’ve caused all worth it.

The next time the Scouts are due to leave for an expedition, you almost don’t go out to silently wish them all well.

You fight with yourself about it all night. You don’t want to be there, watching, for one big reason.

You are hopelessly in love with Captain Levi of the Scouting Regiment.

You had just come to the realization recently, right after that altercation that made him finally look at you. It feels ridiculous to call it love. How can you love someone who doesn’t know you? Someone who has only looked at you once? Someone who has never spoken to you, and has only heard you speak two words to them?

And yet it is love. Undeniably, it is love.

How else can you describe the gravity?

You’ve been pulled to him since the first time you saw him.

You love Captain Levi and he will never love you, and you don’t know if you can keep going out and looking at him and pining for him and wishing for his safety and dreading that your wish doesn’t come true.

“I won’t go today,” you say to yourself, in your empty little shop, your tone not nearly as determined as you want it to be. “It won’t matter if I stay in here. Nothing will happen.”

The prickle of superstition prods at your spine, memories flooding your head of that fateful day of first seeing Levi with his friends, and then without his friends, and how you had failed to properly give all of the scouts your attention.

“Just a silly superstition,” you try to convince yourself, rubbing a rag into an empty mug. You try to concentrate on your work tasks, willing yourself to just stay put, but the itch to go out overwhelms you and you end up groaning loudly in defeat as you sulk towards the door of your shop.

You stop there, hand on the doorknob, and you try to get yourself to stay. One final attempt.

“If you go out there,” you whisper to yourself, “you’ll be going out there knowing that you will only ever know unrequited love. Can you handle that?”

Your head screams that you can’t handle that. There’s no way. You should just go back to work.

But your heart.

Your goddamn heart.

It tells you to go out there and make sure that you make the wish you always make. Because if you really love him, and you know you do, you’re going to be brave about it and make sure he’s safe.

You make a compromise with your head and your heart. As you step outside and into the crowd, you don’t make it to the very front with the good view. You settle for a spot in the middle, where you can still see the Scouts and be able to do what you always do.

That head of dark hair comes into view next to Erwin and you smile sadly to yourself. He’s not staring straight ahead for once. He’s actually conversing with Erwin about something and Erwin is listening intently. You stare at them both with determination, the determination you’d wished you’d had in your shop earlier, and wish for them to return back to you safely.

As your eyes move on dutifully to the next group of scouts, you don’t catch Levi moving his gaze from Erwin to sweep across the crowd, and you don’t feel his eyes land on you.

He looks away just as quickly, and gazes straight ahead as Erwin speaks to him.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman oneshot #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi one shot #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi fanfiction #levi fic #levi #aot fanfiction #aot oneshots #aot #snk fanfiction #snk

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archerdaryl · 4 years

Text

I’ll Be Delicate

The reader shows Daryl Dixon that there’s still peace to be found in this world with soft words and delicate fingers.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Word Count: 2.1k (approximately) Tags: sweet and soft with some humour n gloom, sfw Notes: Anon requested a simple hair braiding fic and I had to be extra and turn it into an entire comfort fic. I’m not sorry.

@bakedcrispss @phoenixblack89 @btsiguess-kpop

Lanterns burnt low and the smell of sage and tobacco lingered in the air throughout the small but comfortable basement on the far side of Alexandria. In the middle of the room was a large sofa, plush with semi-clean clothes stacked up on one half while a sleepy Belgian Malinois lay on the other, still and complaisant.

Daryl Dixon, on the other hand, sat at his makeshift desk by the window. In one hand, a sharp dagger, the other an arrow he had been cutting away at for the past hour. His skin was pink and freckled and his hair damp, freshly showered after a gruelling day outside of the walls that ended in blood and tears.

Losing someone in the community was never easy. He almost felt he should have been thankful it wasn’t somebody he was particularly close to, but that shit hardly mattered since he and Rick had to go back and let the poor bastard’s wife know he wasn’t coming home.

He couldn’t bring himself to think about it now that he was back within the safety of Alexandria, not with all he had waiting for him there. He didn’t think he could cope with where his mind would take him, so instead he took to working with his hands — carving and cutting until his mind emptied and he didn’t have to think at all.

Eventually the stairs creaked and Daryl glowered to himself, figuring it would be Carol checking in on him again. He loved her, she was his best friend, but sometimes she just did too much. When the inevitable knock on wood came, he looked up ready to grunt in acknowledgment. Instead, his features softened, his chest heaving with relief.

It was you.

The corners of your mouth quirked into a sweet smile as you stepped through the doorway. He noticed it didn’t reach your eyes and he reached out to you, taking your hand and gently pulling you closer to him where he could wrap a muscular arm around the back of your thighs and look up at you with those crystalline blues.

You placed your arm around his shoulder, fingers immediately finding their way to the hair at the nape of his neck. You played with it absentmindedly, your sole focus on the man before you, eyes so full of curiosity and care.

“Now how is it you’re cleaner than I am?”

Daryl smirked in response and squeezed you lightly. You were certainly grubbier than he was, but he didn’t care one bit considering grubby was his default state. The old shirt you were wearing was torn at your midriff and it took him a moment to realise it was one of his. He pulled at the tear carefully, thankful only to find a graze rather than something worse.

“Yer back early.” He finally acknowledged.

You hummed in response, fingers now tenderly raking through the archer’s hair to reveal more of the gruff face you liked so much. You took in his features, tracing every scar and drawing together every freckle.

“Mich’ radioed through. Hilltop had one too many people to spare anyway.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly, but didn’t question it. If Michonne wanted to grant him a little bit of peace after the day they’d had, who was he to say no? Besides, Hell itself would freeze over before he ever turned you away.

“I like you like this.” You continued, “All soft and warm.”

“Yeah?”

A year or so ago he would have resented being called soft. It was a fighting word, something his idiot brother would use to provoke him into doing something reckless, but when it came from your lips it felt like he was being awarded a Purple Heart.

Sure, you were talking about his shower fresh skin, but that didn't matter. You reminded him that he had been brave and let you in, that after years of being alone and afraid, he had earned the right to be soft.

Pulling away from his grip, your hands came to your belt buckle. You unfastened it and slowly shimmied out of the dark blue jeans that were stained with speckles of old Walker blood. That old shirt of Daryl’s you’d been wearing, tucked in at the waist, fell free halfway down your thighs.

“Like a damn dress on you, girl.”

You shot a playful scowl at him and sauntered towards the couch, moving the pile of clothes to another surface before collapsing onto the cushion with a grunt. Dog perked up and you scratched him behind the ears.

“Not like you to complain.” You sighed.

Watching you like this, comfortable and free, Daryl felt something building in his chest. It wasn’t panic. Maybe it was fear? He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew he wanted to wrap himself up in you like you were wrapped up in his shirt. Anything to keep you close so he never had to worry about you not coming home.

“Weren’t complainin’.”

It was your turn to reach out to him, coax him over from his attempts of escape. You may have been exhausted, but losing anyone from the community was a nasty reminder of how fragile this life really was.

Daryl stood and mosied over. Dog was comfortable right where he was next to you, though Daryl wouldn’t try to get rid of him even if he wanted to. You shuffled up a bit, angling yourself against the inner corner before tugging on his forearm — a silent plea to give into you and just be. He spent so much of his time looking out for you, making sure you were okay that it also became a way of making himself feel better. You loved him for it, but you desperately wanted to take care of him too.

He finally sat. It was a start. You kept your fingers on his skin, your thumb caressing it gently and he turned his head to watch your hand at work. His eyes soon drifted to your legs. They were bruised but still strong and inviting. You pulled at him again and he finally met your gaze.

“I’m right here.” You assured him, “I’m not going anywhere.”

But you could. That was what was tearing him apart.

Daryl eventually nodded and shuffled up, taking your legs and placing them over his lap so that you were practically sitting on him but not quite. He loved the weight of you, loved you dressed in nothing but one of his old band shirts so that he could flex his hand against the warmth of your thighs. You were his anchor, keeping him from spiralling just by being right there in your arms.

With one arm wrapped around his broad shoulders, you used your free hand to trace the far side of his jaw with your thumb. He leaned into your touch and you sweetly kissed his shoulder before pulling him in closer to you, the hand behind his head now weaving into his hair again.

“Think Dog is getting jealous.”

A soft snort escaped him then, “I’d be jealous too.”

“Don’t need to be. You got me.”

He adjusted his position, allowing himself to lean into you a little bit more. You continued to play with his hair, twirling it between your fingers. The tension in his body slowly began to melt away, evident from the long exhale that drew from his lips.

“Still don’ know how the fuck tha’ happened.”

And that was the truth. To this day Daryl had no idea what you saw in him. You could tell him to his face -- in fact you had -- and he’d still question it. He’d grown up believing he was no good but even if that were the case then, again, who the fuck was he to deny you?

“The world works in mysterious ways Daryl Dixon.” A smirk tugged at your lips, “That and I had to make the first move.”

“Shuddup.” He retorted quickly, “Woulda’ done it eventually.”

It was your turn to laugh. Looking back on your journey together, it was honestly miraculous you’d ended up where you were at all. He was oblivious when it came to women and you weren’t exactly someone that was easy to pin down. Your affection for him snuck up on you, but once it hit you it did so with full force and you weren’t going to risk not knowing.

“I almost wish I’d waited now.”

“‘M glad ya’ didn’t.“ He confessed, squeezing your thigh with his calloused hand, “‘M glad you’re here.”

You pressed a kiss to his temple then wiggled, adjusting your position so that you could angle yourself against him comfortably. You could use both of your hands to play with his hair now. He didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t like it, because he did. He liked all of the attention you gave him.

“So, how would you have done it?”

“Dunno. Don’ matter now.” His brow quirked as he glanced at you, “I kissed ya first. Don’ that count for somethin’?”

Well, there was that. It was one of few times Daryl had truly caught you off guard. You were pissed off about something, wouldn’t stop going on and on at him even though it wasn’t his fault.

“In my defence, you kissed me to shut me up.”

“Worked didn’ it?”

“Haven’t gotten rid of me since.”

Delicate fingers had taken a few thin strands of his hair, tucking them one behind the other aimlessly to form a subtle braid as you both reminisced. You sometimes couldn’t believe how long his hair had gotten, but you quite liked it. You never took too much off when he let you cut it.

“Wouldn’t ever.” He mumbled shyly, “Ain’t gon’ get luckier than this.”

“Not sure I’d call it luck. Been through too damn much for the world not to pay it forward.” You truly believed your words as they spilled from your lips, “We deserve a bit of good. You deserve it.”

Whether he agreed or not, he wasn’t sure how to respond. If it were true, he had already gotten that little bit of good by finding you. He would be perfectly happy if that was all the good he ever got in this new world of blood and rot. He didn’t need anything more. He couldn’t help but wonder if you felt the same.

You were partially preoccupied, braiding his hair gently piece by piece and savouring the sweet moment between you both. His hand caressed your thigh, traced circles with his fingers while you leaned into each other’s touch. It set your skin aflame, poked coals in the pit in your stomach, but you pushed that feeling down until when or if he pulled you in.

Truthfully, you didn’t think much about the future anymore. You couldn’t afford to. It put you on edge, made you panic and do stupid things. It was easier to live in the moment and appreciate what you had, and waking up to Daryl everyday was more than you ever expected to have when you were first taken in at Alexandria. Hell, you felt lucky to make a few friends after being on your own for so long.

You sighed happily as you combed out the loose braid with your fingers and began again, taking thicker pieces of clean dark hair. He smelled like your shampoo which tickled you a little, but you didn’t complain. It wasn’t like he was going to seek out his own. Piece by piece, the braid grew and you could feel him relax further, the circles he was drawing on your thigh growing slower. You bet that if you turned to look, his eyes had closed.

“The hell you doin’ girl?” He finally mumbled.

He always called you that. The way he said it made it feel like there was supposed to be a my in front of it. Sometimes if you were being especially irritating he’d slip a lil in there as if that was supposed to deter you, but it never did.

“Shhh. Stay still.” The response came with a soft chuckle.

As you finished another braid, you admired your work with a grin. His eyes flit open as if he knew you were up to something, brows soon furrowing as he looked at you. It wasn’t long until they relaxed, that smile of yours turning him into putty in your hands.

“Do I wanna know?”

“Do you wanna know I’ve been braiding your hair for the last… however long.” Your words were dry, bordering on teasing, “No, probably not.”

That infamous scowl of his tugged at his grizzly features, though there was no bark to his bite. You cupped his face, gently coaxing it towards you.

“This suits you.”

He thought you suited him too.

#daryl dixon #norman reedus #the walking dead #twd #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon oneshot #daryl dixon imagine #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead fanfic #norman reedus fanfiction #norman reedus fanfic #mine

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theadventurousdork · 4 years

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Dani Clayton and Jamie Taylor: A scene by scene study on the dynamism of a queer romance

by theadventurousdork

Well, here we are! An unnecessarily long essay breaking down Dani and Jamie’s scenes together that I decided to write purely for the fact that they have taken a hold of my queer little heart and haven’t given it back yet. Grab some awful tea or coffee and take a read, if you’d like!

Episode One

In this episode, we see Dani and Jamie meet for the very first time. This is the beginning of them and their story. It all starts in the kitchen of Bly Manor where a dirt covered Jamie walks in just in time for the residents of Bly to gather for an afternoon lunch.

“The gardener didn’t even introduce herself to the new au pair. She barely acknowledged her at all. Simply treated her as if she’d always been there. The others in the room just assumed they’d already met, which, if she were honest, was how the au pair felt when she first saw the young woman.”

Jamie walks in without even batting an eye to the new guest meanwhile, we see a soft eyed Dani looking over at the gardener with a gaze that gives the audience the first look to the gravitational pull that seems to be set between them. With Dani explaining her belief that she has seen someone on the parapet of the old wing, Jamie’s reaction is cold. She looks down at the table with a hardened look. She looks almost hurt. We learn later on that Jamie was the first adult resident of Bly to find the dead body of Rebecca Jessel floating in the lake of the manor which has probably resulted in trauma for Jamie as she remembers her late friend. With Owen and Hannah also finding the possibility of someone being on the balcony to be slim, the residents carry on with their meal. As the introduction to Jamie’s character, we are able to see her cold and guarded exterior. However, we also see her wit and humor as she comfortably pokes fun at Miles and Flora. The space she takes when she walks into a room isn’t empty for she fills it with her bold personality and Dani immediately takes notice of this yet she doesn’t show any hint of openly acknowledging it.

Episode Two

Episode two sheds a different light on the pairing. This episode gives us the first look at Dani’s trauma and the weight that she’s feeling on her conscience. But first, we see her changing the tide at Bly as she puts Miles and Flora to work in the garden as punishment for locking her in a closet. As Dani and the children pull weeds, a relaxed Hannah and Jamie watch from a distance just as Owen offers them drinks. As the trio sip on their gin and tea, they discuss Dani and how her presence is a nice addition to the grounds of Bly. This is where something I call “testing of the waters: part one” occurs. Jamie asks Owen if he thinks that Dani’s pretty before continuing to poke fun at his inability to answer. Now this seems rude, especially considering Hannah’s negative reaction to it even going as far as to remind her that romances don’t fare well at Bly. However, I feel like Jamie does this purposefully to see if Owen would provide any reaction that would indicate that he would have any intent of pursuing Dani, which he quickly shuts down as he states that he only has eyes for Hannah. Jamie’s choice to do this can boil down to a simple poking of fun or maybe something more in terms of her trying to understand, and maybe even deny, the gravitational pull that she’s feeling towards Dani by deflecting it to Owen.

This episode also offers the first glimpse into Jamie’s humanity and her deeply empathetic nature. As a distressed Dani storms outside in tears after being triggered from seeing her dead ex-fiancé’s glasses, our favorite gardener comes to the rescue with buckets in hand. Now this is probably the first time that Dani has physically seen Edmund’s glasses since she packed them away before leaving Bly which can explain her intense reaction to finding Flora wearing them. The part to highlight about this interaction between Jamie and Dani isn’t the fact that Jamie tries to console her but is the way that she does so. First and foremost, the gardener tries to make au pair laugh. She makes multiple attempts in her dialogue to make Dani crack the slightest smile. Jamie’s dialogue saying, “there we are,” after Dani finally gives into the attempted jokes shows how laughter was Jamie’s initial goal.

“How else do you think I keep all these fucking plants watered? With my endless well of deep inconsolable tears. That’s how. It’s what got me the job in the first place.”

After she accomplishes this, she goes on to relate to Dani by telling her that she cries several times a day in an effort to make Dani feel normal and not alone in her vulnerable state. To see someone as cold and guarded as Jamie admit to something like this quickly humanizes her and puts her in the position of becoming a dynamic character. Finally, Jamie tells the au pair that she’s doing a great job and leaves a smiling Dani to watch her as she leaves. This offers insight to how Jamie doesn’t like seeing people in distress. She radiates a grounding energy and puts it upon herself to ensure that no one feels like they’re in over their head.

Dani is able to return the favor as she finds an angry Jamie kneeled over a massacre of her rose bushes. Jamie’s hotheaded attitude is shown as she wastes no time getting up to confront Miles for cutting her roses before they were ready. The point to highlight in this moment is that Dani hears her out. Dani listens to Jamie’s grievances and not once tells her that she’s overreacting. Dani hasn’t known Jamie for long but she knows the importance of plants to the gardener and she doesn’t give Miles a pass at ruining something that matters so much to her. Having two separate scenes showing that each half of the pair have the power to talk each other down regardless of having known each other long, serves as a taste as what’s to come for their journey together.

Episode Three

Here we see “testing of the waters: part two” as the keepers of Bly watch over a sleeping Miles and Flora by a crackling fireplace. A tired Hannah rests her head on Owen’s shoulder as Dani and Jamie watch from across the room. Jamie goes onto ask Dani if she wishes she were leaning on Owen instead of Hannah and explains how every woman in town fawns over Owen without him even knowing it. This key moment goes hand in hand with Jamie’s testing of the waters in episode 2 when she tests Owen’s potential attraction to Dani to now testing to see if Dani would be interested in Owen. Jamie’s subtle comments allow her to see the odds of Dani liking Owen without risking any awkward interaction that would potentially be too invasive. With Owen being the only man in the house, it’s understandable for Jamie to want to see if Dani would pursue him which in turn would signal that Dani may not be interested in someone like her.

What comes next is what I like to believe is the moment that Jamie begins to fall for Dani and I mean really fall for her. The conversation about love and possession is beautifully done and sets the distinction that will go onto separate Peter and Rebecca from Dani and Jamie. After a vindictive history lesson on the toxicity of Peter and Rebecca’s relationship, Jamie mentions the idea of loving someone versus possessing someone to which Dani replies that she doesn’t believe should be possible. The effect of this is seen on Jamie’s face as she looks at Dani. It’s a face that says that she’s staring at someone who understands. Understands the fragility of love and the thin lines that separate healthy versions of love from toxic ones. It happens in the span of a second but we can see a switch click in Jamie’s mind just before she breaks her gaze. From what we collect of Jamie’s past a few episodes later, we come to understand that she has always been owned. Stemming from a broken home and growing up in the foster care system, Jamie has always been someone else’s possession to claim ownership of but never was truly loved and nurtured. To hear someone finally understand that there’s a distinction between loving someone versus feeling like they have the right of possessing them, must feel like a moment of overdue comfort.

After a restless night due to seeing Edmund’s ghost again, Dani wakes up the following morning to see Jamie asleep on the couch. This scene lasts merely thirty seconds so why make the choice to keep it in? What significance does it really hold? Is there any significance at all? For me, the significance is comfort. I feel like there’s a level of comfort that Dani feels when she realizes that Jamie was just down the stairs as she laid awake the night prior feeling as if she were alone in the depths of her own shadows.

The new day ends in the tragic news that Owen’s mom has passed away. After a sympathetic Hannah sends Owen off and leaves to light a candle for the deceased, the gardener and au pair are left to give their own goodbyes to each other. As Dani voices that she’s glad that Jamie stayed on the grounds throughout the day and the night prior, Jamie agrees and the two share an uninterrupted gaze at one another. Here is where we see Dani’s first advance as she takes hold of Jamie’s hand. Ever so slightly does Jamie latch back before Dani quickly pulls away.

“Who the hell knew?”

Those words leave Jamie’s mouth as a mixture of relief and shock paint her face as she gets into her car. Dani watches her drive away with an expression that reads “did I really do what I think I just did?” This moment is cut short as she turns around to see Edmund’s ghost staring blankly from behind her. Fear overcomes Dani and a scream is let out as Edmund gets sucked backwards by an invisible force. Up until this point, Edmund’s ghost has remained stagnant, either appearing in a reflection or in parts. This extreme motion of getting pulled backward into the manor can be read as a way to reflect the intensity of the emotions that Dani is feeling in that exact moment. The amount of tension that Dani must have felt to muster up the courage to reach for Jamie’s hand must have been extremely intense which in turn would evoke an intense manifestation of Edmund’s ghost.

Episode Four

Episode four is what I call the episode of guilt. In this hour, we delve deeper into Dani’s past and the darkness that she’s been holding in her heart. Dani’s life just before Bly is revealed and we see snippets of her life with Edmund. From childhood best friends to teenage lovers to getting engaged, Dani and Edmund almost seemed like the perfect set up to an 80s romcom. Almost is the key word here as it’s revealed that Dani breaks up with Edmund just before he storms out of their car into the path of an oncoming truck, killing him right in front of her thus revealing why Edmund is haunting her. Flashforward to Bly, Dani has begun to see Edmund’s ghost more and more. His first appearance in the episode is in Dani’s bedroom mirror just as Jamie helps unzip her dress. If it weren’t apparent in the episodes prior, Dani holds an immense amount of guilt. This guilt doesn’t only stem from being the reason why Edmund was killed but also lies in who she is. Edmund’s presence is symbolic for the guilt that Dani feels whenever she is just on the brink of exploring her sexuality. We see that every interaction that Dani has with Edmund’s ghost occurs just after she shares a moment with Jamie. With Jamie being a tangible representation of what Dani desires, her visions of Edmund become more intense and more frequent as her guilt increases.

The episode continues to show Dani experiencing Edmund’s haunting again when Jamie arrives back to the manor after attending Owen’s mom’s funeral. Here we see Dani catching herself staring at Jamie from across the table. When Jamie catches her gaze, Dani retreats to the sink where we see a mixture of nervousness and excitement across Dani’s face as she looks over her shoulder to take one more look. This moment filled with butterflies and yearning is cut short as Edmund’s hands slide across Dani’s hips as she sees him in a reflection which causes her to panic. Edmund’s presence is growing closer and stronger as Dani has begun to navigate her feelings for Jamie.

In a flashback, we get a glimpse into possibly one of the first times that Dani’s internal conflict of her sexuality crosses her mind. As Dani gets a dress fitted, the female tailor makes flirtatious passes at her. We see Dani acknowledge these advances and isn’t opposed to them occurring. The scene switches to a guilt stricken Dani, her eyebrows furrowed above saddened eyes that wander upward to Jamie who’s helping prep the table for dinner. This quick glance up to Jamie holds so much. The internal turmoil that Dani is feeling in this moment is palpable. To think that all of her moments of repression have led up to this. This feeling of wanting. This feeling of yearning. To live openly and authentically as the person she’s always been.

Later that night, the keepers of Bly hold a bonfire to honor those that they’ve lost. A weight can be felt on the four as they remember their late loved ones by the warmth of the fire. The concept of found family lies in the heart of those who find a home at Bly and can be seen through Hannah and Jamie’s odes to the late Rebecca, Dominic, and Charlotte.

“Because from here on in, the shadows get deeper… the nights get longer. We’re heading into the dark and we have to hang onto each other. So, we can only carry so much.”

As they commemorate who they’ve lost, Jamie mentions Dani and how she believes that Dani is the key to getting Miles and Flora back to themselves. A moment of pain rushes across Dani’s face as Jamie states how she believes that Dani is stronger than she thinks. To be in the midst of an internal conflict yet hear how someone believes in your strength can be something so painful to hear as you struggle to believe it yourself. We see Dani in a battle with herself as she fights to live authentically regardless of the guilt she’s carrying.

Eventually, the gardener and the au pair break away from Owen and Hannah to go to the greenhouse. A pivotal moment in the growth of Dani and Jamie’s relationship occurs here when Dani makes the decision to lay everything out on the table for Jamie and finally explain her history with Edmund as well as sometimes seeing his ghost.

“I’ve never told anybody that.”

These words that leave Dani’s mouth are so intimate and so vulnerable. Jamie takes what she’s being dealt and handles it with such a level of care that ensures that Dani knows that she’s being heard and respected. As we’ve seen Jamie talk Dani down from a breakdown in episode 2, we see a parallel here where Jamie takes it upon herself to make Dani laugh in an effort to console her. This moment is cut short as Dani musters the courage to ask the heartbreaking question that allows Jamie to make the decision whether to take or leave Dani and all of her baggage.

“Think I’m crazy?”

The pain in Dani’s face as she asks this shows just how scared she is to be rejected by the one person she wants the most. Without even a hint of hesitation, Jamie reassures her that nothing has changed in her view of Dani’s strength. A wave of relief comes over Dani as she’s hit her tipping point of acting upon the feelings she’s been suppressing all this time. She kisses Jamie and a moment of vulnerability is shown on Jamie’s face as she gets the confirmation that Dani is sure in her decision to do this. This moment is short lived by Edmund’s ghost appearing just behind Jamie, causing Dani to retreat in a panic. This is probably the worst cockblock in the history of cockblocks. Dani quickly retreats as Jamie mirrors her actions and immediately puts her walls back up as embarrassment sinks into them both in different directions. As the pair make it back to Hannah and Owen, Dani is visibly disappointed with how things ended up. Jamie’s comment of “it’s all good” as she guides Owen away from the bonfire shows how she would prefer to move on right away instead of confronting the confusing messages she’s just received from Dani.

The final scene of the episode is what I like to call Dani’s last straw. Dani’s guilt has turned to anger as she makes the decision to confront her own shadows by throwing Edmund’s glasses into the bonfire. Flashbacks of kissing Jamie intercut the scene to really solidify Dani’s desires to move on and be able to freely love her without the burden of her past.

“It’s just you and me then.”

Dani is tired. She’s waited for this moment. She’s finally accepted this part of her and she stares straight into Edmund’s ghost without any more fear. She’s found the strength to move on.

Episode Six

The sponsor of this episode is cement as Dani and Jamie cement their relationship in this hour. The episode begins with Dani’s attempt at reconciliation after the unfortunate cockblock of a certain dead ex-fiancé in episode four. Dani wakes up at the crack of dawn to visit Jamie in her greenhouse. Dani’s entire existence in this moment is ridden with nervousness as she puts on her best “everything is normal” face. Jamie is quick to notice how out of character waking up this early is for Dani to which Dani dismisses. We see that Jamie’s cold and guarded exterior is back and for good reason considering the unfortunate events at the end of her and Dani’s last interaction. Dani’s eagerness to patch things up puts her through several attempts at getting a reaction out of Jamie, each of which ends up being shut down. First is the gesture of giving Jamie coffee which results in her gently spitting it back into the cup. Next is Dani’s attempt at voicing how lonely she’s been.

“No Owen. No you.”

Dani’s voice drags on a little longer here to emphasize how Jamie’s absence the last few days have created a noticeable emptiness at the manor. Jamie responds with a simple “sometimes people wanna be alone” which seems like her own personal choice. However, Dani finally gets a reaction through Jamie’s icy exterior when she makes her laugh after a terrible attempt at a British accent. This mirrors the other instances prior where Jamie has made the effort to make Dani laugh in order to ease any emotional tension. After the ice has been broken, we see Dani’s first wind of confidence as she asks Jamie out to a boring ol’ date at a boring ol’ pub. We can see relief and a sense of pride strewn across Dani’s face when Jamie catches her drift. This marks the beginning of a fresh start for the two.

The next time we see the pair is in the kitchen as Jamie surprises Dani by coming back to the manor after initially leaving.

“Made it halfway home and I thought ‘rough day, maybe Poppins might fancy a little boredom.’”

Dani’s shocked excitement quickly turns into awkward nervousness as Hannah and Owen wave them away to spend time together. Jamie gently takes Dani’s hand and guides her out of the room. This presents the reaffirmation that Jamie still cares enough to try again with Dani.

The gardener leads the au pair somewhere off on the grounds of Bly to a secret area where moonflowers have bloomed. She explains how difficult they are to grow in England and how fragile their lifespan is.

“That’s a lot of work for a flower that only blooms once.”

“That’s what people feel like to me. Exhaustive effort, very little to show for it.”

“All of them?”

“All of them. Even you. Even me… especially me.”

Jamie’s emphasis on herself shows her insecurity of not being enough after anyone makes the effort to break down her walls and gets to know who she really is. What follows is a tear-jerking speech that gives insight on Jamie’s past and her painful upbringing. From the details of her childhood like growing up in a broken home, being forced into foster care, and serving time in jail, we begin to understand why she puts such a strong, guarded front. The absence of a family unit in her youth and young adulthood has resulted in her feeling like she may be unlovable. Like she might not be worth the effort of loving. Just as Dani did in episode four, this is Jamie laying everything out on the table for Dani to decide whether or not she will take or leave Jamie and all of her baggage. After Jamie finishes her monologue, Dani gets up and doesn’t say a word. She takes hold of Jamie and kisses her. No words can alleviate the pain that Jamie’s endured but the effort of loving her can be a start. Dani pulls away for a brief moment to reveal a relieved Jamie smiling back at her after she has realized that Dani has chosen to accept her for everything that she is.

The next scene they have together is the morning after Dani finally gets her first restful night’s sleep.

“The au pair could not remember that last time she’d slept this well. And she thought perhaps she never had.”

The moment to highlight in this short scene is Dani stopping to look at herself in the mirror. She is finally able to see her truest self without being haunted of guilt. She smiles as she looks at her reflection and to a sleeping Jamie in the bed next to her. She’s finally made peace with herself.

The final Dani and Jamie scene of the episode occurs at the end of the day just as Dani puts Flora to bed. Here we see the purity in the relationship that the two are creating. We see Dani unapologetically long for Jamie as she says she’s going to leave for the night. The au pair’s subtle look at the gardener’s lips as she speaks and the inching closer and closer to her shows just how high Dani’s confidence levels have risen to after being able to finally love freely. To see Dani in such a smitten state of mind is a breath of fresh air for not only herself but for us, the viewers, who have seen her in such a trapped state of mind when it comes to loving someone. The innocence of longing, in tandem of making the promise of spending other nights together, show how much care and caution they are taking in order to ensure that they’re building their relationship in a healthy manner. What they are both experiencing shows a trade off of what they each have to give to the other. Dani has accepted her sexuality, which is something that seems like Jamie has already done long ago. Meanwhile, Jamie is being loved and wanted, potentially for the first time which is something that Dani has already experienced in her past. Each half of the pairing offers support and guidance to the other as they begin their journey as a couple.

Episode Nine

This final episode of the season was an absolute doozy in terms of Dani and Jamie’s relationship. I’ve watched all of these scenes a solid million times over and I bawl my eyes out every. damn. time. But I mopped up my tear-soaked notebook and carried on for the purpose of this essay. The episode picks up action as Flora sacrifices herself to save Dani from being dragged and choked to death by Viola, the Lady of the Lake. As Jamie and Owen arrive back at the manor after both having awful dreams, they briefly see Hannah as she says that they’re needed at the lake. Jamie bolts the second she hears Dani yelling. She knows Dani’s in trouble and wastes absolutely zero time trying to find her. Jamie yells Dani’s name and you can feel that her sense of urgency has one goal in mind: save Dani.

“It’s you. It’s me. It’s Us.”

Viola has accepted the au pair’s offer. Besides Flora, Jamie is the only witness to see Dani’s last moment of belonging to only herself. From this point on, the darkness begins to fester deep within Dani’s soul and Jamie must live knowing that there was nothing that she could do as she watched Dani let part of herself go to let Viola in. Jamie runs into the lake as Dani’s trauma starts almost immediately. Her breathing is quickened, and she can’t stop repeating those final words that she felt deep in her bones. The gardener holds the au pair and takes one look at her as she already notices the effects of trauma. Dani’s darting eyes are panicked as she struggles to register that Jamie is there with her. Her breathing finally slows as Jamie holds her close in her attempts to calm her down. Jamie is Dani’s grounding force in this moment. Dani has finally freed the ghosts of Bly but at the cost of her own self. Her own life for the souls of the others.

The following scene highlights the days following the incident at the lake, immediately starting with Jamie and Owen looking into the well to find Hannah’s dead body. I wanted to highlight this moment just for the sake of Jamie for she has been there to witness all the deaths of her loved ones firsthand. She was the first adult to find Rebecca in the lake, one of the first to find Hannah in the well, and the first to see Dani die in more ways than one. She just can’t seem to catch a break but after all… death is beautiful, it’s natural.

Jamie finds Dani as she packs away her things however, Dani’s mind appears to be somewhere else. Darkness has begun to burrow itself into Dani’s soul. She’s shaking. She’s terrified. She’s mourning the loss of herself.

“I feel her. In here. It’s so quiet, it’s so quiet, but she’s in here. And this part of her that’s in here, it isn’t… peaceful.”

Dani explains how Viola’s presence feels like a beast waiting for her in a thick jungle. She feels hopeless again but this time feels heavier than all the rest. She has something to lose here now. She has a relationship with Jamie to lose, she has an entire life to lose. It isn’t as simple as feeling the guilt of losing someone or the guilt of loving someone. This feeling isn’t human, this feeling of dread goes beyond what the stages of grief entails. Where is she to go if she can’t go within herself to find peace?

“She’s gonna take me.”

A tear falls down Jamie’s face as these heavy words fall out of Dani’s mouth. This is the first hint of Jamie losing Dani. The fear of the inevitable fills the room with such a weight that no words can alleviate Dani’s pain. Yet Jamie tries. She tries her damn best. She offers her company with the seal of a pinky promise. She gives all that she can offer: herself and her love. Dani’s feeling of darkness doesn’t have to be lonely this time.

After a final goodbye to Henry, Miles, and Flora, the gardener and the au pair set off to start their lives together as the image of Bly fades away into the distance. Their life together starts at a diner as Jamie plans their course of action, hoping to end up in Vermont to see snow by Christmas. Here we see Dani looking at her own reflection in the tableside jukebox before stopping Jamie as she worries that they’re planning too far ahead. Dani’s cautious. She doesn’t want to get either of their hopes up.

“One day at a time is fine by me. As long as those days are with you, Poppins. One day at a time is what we’ve got.”

There’s a brightness in these words which in turn reflect onto them. There’s a light in this moment that shows that they haven’t lost their footing yet. And thus begins the final climb to their highest point before the tragedy that lies ahead occurs. We flashforward to a year later to The Leafling, the flower shop that the pair have opened up together. Dani is still Dani and Jamie is still Jamie but more in love this time than the last time and the time before that.

“You see, I’m not sick of you. At all. I’m actually pretty in love with you, it turns out.”

Here we see the reintroduction of the moonflower. The symbol of Jamie and Dani’s love. The last time we saw the moonflower was back when the pair finally made the choice to accept one another and start their relationship. This time, we see the moonflower one last time as Jamie chooses to solidify their love by finally breaking the big L word.

A montage ensues of the gardener and the au pair’s life together. Years have passed and peace was just finally in their grasp. Or so it seemed. This feeling of fluttering innocence is put to a halt as Dani sees Viola’s reflection in the door of the flower shop. Dani stops in her tracks as she stares at the reflection, her face is still as she stands in a quiet shock. That is until she sees Jamie through the door, smiling at her with such a playful gaze. This instance shows yet again that Jamie is Dani’s grounding force even after all this time and Dani’s own reflection returns not even a second later. This is a moment for the audience to take a peek into Jamie’s importance in Dani’s life, especially at a point that something so vengeful is making its way to the surface. To see Jamie’s smiling face cut through the image of the beast in the jungle, we can’t help but feel the same pain yet also the sense of relief that Dani must feel in this moment. Although Dani returns to herself, we can’t help but feel Viola’s presence looming.

The scene that follows is another significant milestone in Dani and Jamie’s journey together as Dani comes back home with a dying plant that’s concealing an engagement ring. Above the surface, Dani has put the ring in a dying plant because she knew that Jamie would waste no time investigating how to save it. But this can also be interpreted in relation to Jamie’s moonflower speech where she says “every living thing grows out of every dying thing” to show how their relationship is taking the next step of growth as she pulls the ring out of a dying plant. The ring itself is a traditional Irish Claddagh ring, which shows how Dani did her research and chose a ring specific to Jamie’s northern heritage. The hands that make the band of the ring represents friendship, while the heart representing love, and the crown representing loyalty. These representations are fitting for the relationship that the pairing has created and for Dani’s proposal speech.

“Here’s the thing - you’re my best friend and the love of my life. And I don’t know how much time we have left but however much it is, I wanna spend it with you.”

The thing to highlight about Dani and Jamie’s relationship is that it runs on Dani’s timeline which is something that is so important to showcase, especially considering how Edmund had made almost all the choices for her in her previous engagement. Jamie understands this and has always insured that Dani felt comfortable before progressing further into their relationship together. In this moment, Jamie finally has a promise of love while Dani has security in the person she loves the most. As Jamie accepts her proposal and the two share a moment of celebration, Dani’s face of worry as she hugs Jamie shows that she feels an inability to be fully happy. She’s unable to fully give herself to Jamie in this moment which in turn shows how Viola’s presence is getting closer and getting darker.

We jump slightly forward in time to the pair visiting Owen’s aptly named restaurant, A Batter Place. After a moment of remembrance for Hannah, Dani looks into the reflection of a metal water pitcher to see Viola’s reflection yet again. Dani’s face is surprised by this sight, but she keeps it quietly to herself as to not ruin the moment of reunion. If we compare this instance to the first time Dani looked at her reflection at the tableside jukebox at the diner years prior, we can see that this moment is filled with much more darkness. The light that used to be inside of her is dimming. Although Jamie is holding her and is physically next to her in this moment, she doesn’t cut through the darkness anymore. Jamie’s power as a grounding force is dimming as well.

“So, they’re all happy?”

The inflection in Dani’s voice here is so subtle that only Jamie takes notice of it. Jamie looks at Dani and senses that something has gone off in her. Owen continues to explain how Miles and Flora have no recollection of the events that took place at Bly. No recollection of the sacrifice that Dani made to save them.

“So, if they don’t remember Hannah…they don’t remember…”

Dani’s voice trails off here. She looks down and is caught in the bitter realization that her sacrifice has been forgotten. This feeling of a looming darkness, this feeling of living a life that’s ticking down to her own demise… was it worth it? Jamie can feel Dani’s pain immediately as her eyes stayed glued on Dani who’s trying to see if there would be any way to remind Miles and Flora about what she did. The gardener stares at au pair without breaking away and in this instant, we can see that, along with Dani, Jamie is breaking too. Breaking under the burden of knowing that she can’t take Dani’s pain away.

The scene that follows shows Dani washing dishes where she sees Viola again in the water. She panics and finally admits to Jamie that she’s been seeing her more and more. The tension that was present between them moments earlier immediately fades away as Jamie wastes no time in trying to console Dani. Jamie’s blind optimism here has a slight tinge of desperation as she refuses to let Dani slip away into the abyss that’s growing stronger and stronger. Dani’s interaction with Viola’s reflection in this moment sets off an alarm bell within her, unlike the other times where she sat quietly and dealt with it on her own. This is Dani’s tipping point. The highest level of fear is felt as the reality is beginning to sink in that the beast is coming for her. Another thing to note here is that even after all these years, Jamie still makes the conscious effort to make Dani laugh.

“I’ll do the washing up from now on, yeah? You’re shit at it anyway.”

Dani can’t help but give the smallest laugh, but it’s more than enough for Jamie. Through Jamie’s optimism, we have begun to see that she’s not only consoling Dani but also herself as she tries to convince both of them that they can have so much more time together. The episode continues on with the train of heartbreak as Jamie comes home after receiving civil union paperwork for her and Dani. What comes next is what I feel like is the most heartbreaking Dani moment in the entire series. Dani stares deep into an overflowing bathtub where an ominous Viola stares back at her. Jamie is quick to bring Dani back to reality but Dani has lost her footing. Her hold on Viola has flipped to Viola having a hold on her.

“It’s like every day I feel myself fading away, but I’m still here, and… I don’t really understand how that is.”

The fear has withered away into emptiness as Dani struggles to stay afloat. We see Jamie so pained as she watches the light fade into a grey nothingness as she listens to Dani talk about how she is beginning to lose herself to the beast.

“I’m not even scared of her anymore. I just stare at her, and it’s getting harder and harder to see me.”

To listen to the love of her life slip away through her fingers has Jamie in a phase of denial as she continuously refuses to let Dani break apart. We see the gardener’s optimism wavering as she tries her best to help the au pair hold onto herself. Dani’s voice as she says Jamie’s name is filled with nothing but pure hopelessness and despair as she dips further and further into uncertainty. Yet Jamie doesn’t lose hope. Jamie would never give up on Dani as she repeats the words she told Dani in the diner all those years ago.

“One day at a time.”

However, Jamie has run out of answers. She can only offer comfort now.

Next we see Dani hit her lowest low as she is taken over by Viola and awakes to see that she almost strangled Jamie to death in their sleep. Dani is shocked and broken as she sits in the disbelief of what she almost did. The time has come. The beast has arrived. Viola has waited years until Dani was so broken down and so vulnerable, that she would finally be able to take her. However, we can’t help but believe that Dani fought off Viola this long thanks to the love her and Jamie shared.

The gardener wakes up the following morning to find an empty space next to her. She reaches to the empty space in the bed and then for the note left on the bedside table. It can only mean one thing: her biggest fear has come to light. With her strong will and determination, Jamie gives one final push and flies back across the pond to Bly to face what she’s been in fear of all this time. The amount of immense grief that is felt in this moment, to be at the same place that the love of her life began to be taken away from her all those years ago, must be incredibly damaging. The manor holds so much of Jamie’s life. She found her family there. She created a beautiful garden on those grounds. Her and Dani’s love blossomed on the same grounds that she first began to lose her that night at the lake. Jamie storms off to the edge of the water. Her face is so tired. She already knows what she’s going to find and yet she still doesn’t lose the hope that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be true.

“The gardener said the words she’d heard those years ago; she willed it with everything she had. You, me, us. Us. ‘Take me with you,’ she cried in her heart. ‘Take me. Drag me down like you did the others.’ But the lady in the lake was different now – the lady in the lake was also Dani. And Dani wouldn’t. Dani would never.”

The agony and desperation that we see Jamie endure in the moments that we see her find Dani laying at the very bottom of the lake is a type of pain that is unmatched from any other moment of pain that we’ve seen this season. Her muffled screams as she takes a hold of her heart, only to let her arms go in despair under the water is something so haunting yet so unbelievably moving to see her love so much considering how far she’s come from the cold and guarded gardener we saw all the way back in episode one. She would’ve given up everything. Absolutely everything to take Dani’s place. Given up everything to join Dani at the bottom of the lake. Unlike Peter with Rebecca, Dani could never take Jamie down to the depths. Dani could never harm a single soul, let alone the one person that mattered the most to her. By letting Jamie go and taking Viola’s place as the lady of the lake, Dani has broken the cycle of violence that’s haunted the grounds of Bly for centuries. As Jamie was the hero of Dani’s story, Dani will always be the hero to Jamie’s.

The final act of the season ends with an older Jamie finishing her story to the wedding guests.

“She would know nothing of the gardener, nothing of their life together. The details, the specific moments would all fade away. More time will pass, and the water will wash away the delicate features of her; of her beautiful, perfect face. But she won’t be hollow, nor empty. And she won’t pull others to her fate. She will merely walk the grounds of Bly, harmless as a dove, for all of her days. Leaving the only trace of who she once was in the memory of the woman who loved her most.”

We see an older Jamie comfort a teary-eyed Flora who is afraid of the time when she would also lose the love of her life. Jamie comforts her with advice that we can only ever assume she learned in her time with Dani. The final scene shows the gardener’s nightly routine as she stares into reflections, hoping to catch one last glimpse of the au pair. As she drifts away into sleep, a hand wearing a golden wedding ring rests gently on her shoulder. Our haunting love story has come to an end. And the rest? Well the rest… is confetti.

#dani x jamie #dani clayton #jamie taylor #thobm #the haunting of bly manor #damie #amelia eve #victoria pedretti #bly manor

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silvysartfulness · 3 years

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If you're in the mood to talk a bit about the roadtrip boys: What is each of their preferred love language, give & receive?

I'm always in the mood to talk about the Roadtrip boys! I just don't always have the spoons. 😅

But yes, this is a super interesting question, because they do misinterpret their sometimes incompatible love language signals a lot!

Starting with Xiao Xingchen, because he is arguably the one of them most expressive in love and appreciation: he is an affectionate person at heart, and for the most part, he's intuitive about picking up on how best to convey that affection to someone else (except when he's really, really not. He's still human. He fucks up at times, too.)

What he needs more than anything is assurance and a feeling of closeness and connection. While words of affirmation can be a relief sometimes, to really remove all doubt, they can also feel clumsy at times. But he loves to spend quality time with the people he loves – giving them all his attention and just enjoying their company. With Song Lan, it was philosophical discussions, martial training, planning their future together. With Chengmei, it was joking and laughing together, being entertained by his quick wit and sense of humour, as well as going on Night Hunts together, and just spending quality time as a family in the Coffin House. Many times during the Roadtrip journey he's reflected on how happy it makes him just being in their company, them all doing things together.

He also really wants/needs physical touch. Theirs is not a culture where intimate, physical touch is all that common, especially not during his rather ascetic upbringing, but that was one of the things Chengmei really brought to the surface in him – how wonderful it is to be touched, held, brought so close to another human being. The intimacy of it, the sense of safety and connection.

He knows Song Lan dislikes touch, and he is very conscious about not pushing him to do anything he doesn't want to – but when it's given, he's so giddy with joy, he doesn't stop and wonder if it really is what Song Lan wants, or if it's something he feels he should/must do.

When it comes to giving, he's intuitive, and tries to adjust to his loved ones' needs. Giving pieces of candy to Xue Yang. Withholding touch with Song Lan - an expression of love in its absence - and using words to try and tell him how much he means to him instead. Giving his care and concern and attention, and helping in various ways when he can. The wish to help others is very deeply rooted in him, the reason he descended into the world in the first place, so definitely giving acts of service, whenever he can.

Xue Yang next – who in many ways is surprisingly compatible with Xiao Xingchen, proven most simply by how easily they grew close in Yi City.

Xue Yang is very, very bad at words. He can't identify his own emotions most of the time, and would be even harder pressed putting them into words. But he does know how be to be useful – within a few days of arriving in Yi City, he's collecting firewood, fixing the roof, offering to help on Night Hunts (yes, I know, but for the sake of argument, we'll ignore the ”fierce corpses” for now) haggling for food, going grocery shopping... For ultimate hurt, also consider: making a-Qing apple bunnies when she's upset and crying, offering to teach her how to avenge herself, offering to lend money and come with her and Xiao Xingchen to the market to help pick out pretty things for her... Xue Yang is all about tangible gestures. Gifts, favours - a concrete tally of keeping score.

He's a gifts and acts of service person all the way.

And like Xiao Xingchen, he's very tactile. He craves physical touch, both giving and receiving, especially with someone like Xiao Xingchen, whom he does grow to trust won't hurt him, even when he allows himself to be vulnerable.

He may not be very good at giving quality time – he doesn't often have the patience or empathy for it, giving someone his full attention for long, but he does love it when Xiao Xingchen does it for him. Just spending time with him, laughing, having fun... It's nice. It's possibly the thing he misses the most, wanting hopelessly to get to have again. Just that attention and easy connection. Feeling like he belongs. More than anything, that.

In Roadtrip, he keeps using gifts and acts of service to express both his affection and his desperate hunger to belong – inventing and creating the speech talisman for Song Lan. Sharing that precious apple with Xiao Xingchen. Making Song Lan the mala, even spending time and effort on clumsily decorating it. He tried to cook Xiao Xingchen spring rolls to make up for making him upset, offered him fruit so he wouldn't go hungry, tried to give him nostalgic herbs found by the wayside... He got them all a new teapot, the fanciest one he could find. Adjusting and rearranging Song Lan's souls to give him back his autonomy, making him the little paper frog as a spur of the moment gift, sharing his candy, and promising to try and find a way to give him back his sense of taste. And of course burning himself out almost to the point of qi deviation twice to save Xiao Xingchen.

Xue Yang loves intensely, but unless you can decipher the often roundabout ways he expresses it, you may not realize.

Song Lan is, however (much to his own horror) getting increasingly good at understanding Xue Yang's gestures of affection. What they actually mean – how much it actually means. Unlike Xiao Xingchen, Xue Yang is not intuitive about adjusting his expressions of affection to the recipient, and Song Lan has spent a lot of time frustrated with his uninvited casual touches and unasked for gifts. Beginning to realize they are in fact genuine attempts at companionship makes it all... worse, in many ways. Especially since he's not as immune as he'd like to be.

Song Lan himself prefers to find companionship through quality time. He deeply appreciates just meditating alongside Xiao Xingchen, just occupying that same space in peace. That is probably, on the whole, the love language he really prefers, especially receiving.

Words of affirmation, absolutely, at times, though he can get tied up and feel that he can't really express all he wants to say in return. He really doesn't want physical touch – although he has come to appreciate some platonic hand-holding with Xiao Xingchen at times. He has little interest in material gifts, which is one reason it took him so long to pick up on Xue Yang using gifts as one of his primary ways to show affection. He can appreciate acts of service, though it often leaves him feeling a bit indebted.

As for giving, he, like Xue Yang and to an extent Xiao Xingchen, is very much an acts of service person. That's what his and Xiao Xingchen's original dream was built upon, after all, as wandering cultivators - helping people. Unfortunately, with him and Xiao Xingchen, it translates to a certain degree of miscommunication where he reads Xiao Xingchen's need for physical touch as something he should provide as an act of service, and... It's not particularly healthy for anyone involved. It's a work in progress.

He's also glad to give quality time, especially with Xiao Xingchen - though in the case of Xue Yang, it tends to end up pretty awkward. But it was during their time watching over the comatose Xiao Xingchen together in Muaishan that they really began opening up and seeing each other as people. It was nice, even if neither of them can really articulate it, or admit that they would actually miss the odd companionship they shared during that time.

In time... he will learn that gifts is one of the things that really matters to Xue Yang in a way that words don't really do, and learns to both give and accept them with more grace.

Thank you so much for your question! It was a really interesting one!

#untamed artfulness #the happy songxuexiao roadtrip story #asksilvy #long post

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moral-turpitudes · 4 years

Text

Trouble Maker:

A/N: I got a lil carried away but I hope this is decent. I don’t do many headcanons lol.

Trigger Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Drinking and Drug use.

Headcanon Pair: Thomas Shelby x Shelby!Sister Reader - Based off Angst Prompt #7 from my Peaky Prompts List.

Requested: Yes

Requested by: Anon (You can see the request Here)

Summary: Growing rebellious in her teenage years, Y/N embarks on a journey of defying her brother and the rest of the Shelby family. But little does she know that her actions have consequences.

Out of all the Shelby siblings, Y/N would be the one to follow the rules up until a certain point. As she’d grow older she’d notice how Ada got away with more things and how Finn would gradually be integrated into the illegal business of her older blinder brothers.

With a scornful look she’d sit through the family meetings, picking at her manicured nails as her older brother Thomas would tell her what she couldn’t do. All while giving orders to the others.

One day though, Y/N decided to challenge Tommy’s authority. Instead of nodding and going along with things, she decided with a drunken voice, racing heart, and clenched fists that she’d say no to the person she somewhat looked up to.

Her defiance would’ve started out small. If he asked her to finish filing a whole stack of papers, she’d file only half, giving herself a much needed break after looking at proposals and betting statistics all day. Then she’d make a glass of whiskey for herself, because if Finn could have some why couldn’t she?

Thomas wouldn’t really catch on at first, thinking she’d just forgotten to do half of the filing, but after one particular family meeting, he realized she was getting into more trouble than she led on.

Y/N had a habit of sneaking off with friends in the middle of the night while Polly would be sleeping. Knowing when and where Polly would go to bed and where the door key was hidden. With careful steps she’d walk through the house, holding her breath tiptoeing at certain points as she made her way to the door and then making a mad-dash outside as her friends chuckled near the streetlights.

Together they would snort cocaine and sneak smokes from people while at the Garrison, where they’d always arrive before closing. The bartender was always too tired to care. Tommy’s on-the-house rule still applying as the group sat around the bar. She had the Shelby name after all, so technically she could get a drink or 10, for free.

If the group wasn’t drinking alcohol or trying drugs, they’d wander through the night, goofing off in the fields until sunrise. But the night she defied Tommy, was also the night she was caught by Polly.

She had a feeling Y/N had been gone several nights in a row when she’d go past her room and not hear the light snoring that usually came from inside. And on that night she noticed her bed was made, never having been laid in the previous day, without a Y/N to be seen. In a panic, this caused Polly to call Thomas, waking him from an already disturbed sleep.

“She’s not here Tom. I think she’s been sneaking out. Don’t know how long but this isn’t like her.” She’d say.

“I’ll call a meeting. If she returns just bring her in.” He’d say, his voice tired and groggy.

Y/N would usually take her time, but her and her friends got carried away, so she stumbled home half-drunk on whiskey. Not realizing how late it had been.

As she opened the door, she’d see Polly standing there, her coat on and her arms crossed over her chest. Her eyes staring holes through her.

“Y/N...I’m glad you’re home. We have a family meeting.” She said as the clock struck 4 in the morning.

“I...Pol...I can...explain.” She said, her head fuzzy as she made her way into her room, Polly on her heels.

“You won’t just be explaining this to me, you’ll be explaining this to the whole bloody family young lady. You’re too young and too sweet to be out in this fucking town this late...And I thought Finn would be a problem...” She said, lighting a cigarette in her doorway as Y/N rummaged around for a heavier coat.

“I’d rather sleep but whatever Tommy wants Tommy gets aye?” Y/N asked, chugging the rest of a glass of water that was near her bedside.

The ride there would be quiet and awkward, Polly periodically looking over at her youngest niece as she’d stick her drunken head out the window. The early morning air relieving the nausea she felt.

“I’ll have your neck if you throw up in this car, Y/N. I swear it.” She said.

“I’m not Pol. How much longer till we got to the bastards house?” She’d say, not knowing what the time was as the old buildings whizzed by.

“We’ll get there soon. You’re staying there.” She said.

She groaned lightly as they neared the fields leading to Arrow House. The dark brick building sending a shiver down her spine as they eventually made it to the drive way.

It was then she knew she’d fucked up. The contents from the nights shenanigans decorating the paved walkway up to the house.

Thomas stood at the door nonchalantly, with his dusty black coat over his night clothes. He usually slept with trousers on, usually neglecting to wear a shirt, but since he had unexpected company he had to look like he cared at least somewhat.

“Good morning Tommy. Are the others inside?” Polly would ask, Y/N retching loudly in the background.

“Mhmm.” He mumbled, a blank expression on his face as he flicked the last of his cigarette on the concrete steps.

Once inside and mostly recovered, Y/N would hesitantly walk into his office. The blinders all in varying night clothes and coats, their eyes puffy from being woken up at such an hour.

“Y/N, nice of you to join us.” Thomas would say. Pouring a glass of whiskey for himself, making her look away in disgust for the time being.

“Would you like to tell us where you’ve been running off to? You of all people should know better aye?” He’d ask as she sat in a chair before him.

“I just wanted to be with my friends Tom....you all get to run ‘round town at all hours with god knows who and I’m stuck in the house. Even fucking Finn gets to.” She’d say, flicking Finn off in the process.

“Aye don’t you bring me into thi-“ Finn would start to say, getting out of his chair with a furrowed brow and his face flushed in anger.

“Sit down, Finn. This isn’t your concern.” Polly snapped, leaning back in her chair. Finn sighing in the corner, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m tired of all this....this bullshit...Do this Y/N. Do that. File these papers. Don’t drink, Don’t stay out past 5. Don’t do anything that makes you happy.” She’d say mockingly.

“I don’t do that last one. You know I tell you to do those things to keep you out of trouble right? I’m trying to keep you away from the illegal business.” He’d say, lighting another cigarette.

“Well you’re doing a shit job.” She’d remark bluntly, crossing her arms over her chest as she remembered striking a small deal with a drug-runner all because of her last name. They weren’t a threat to the family, but it made her defiance all the more alluring as she scored drugs for her friends under his nose.

“Later today I want you to go to your friends and tell them you won’t be out past 8...I’m being generous.” He’d say.

“No.” Her eyes boring into him as she snapped back. Thomas would look at her then, feeling more like a parent than an older sibling at that point.

“Do you have a death wish?” He’d ask.

“Might as well.” She’d say, the alcohol making her not fear him as much this time around.

“Very well. Tomorrow, you’ll join us at the races. If you want to be like us, you’ll have to do it the hard way.” He’d say, getting up from his chair to stand near her.

“Thomas I’m not letting her watch you all kill someone.” Polly would say sternly.

“If she doesn’t want to be in the shop, there’s only one other place, Pol. Let’s just hope she remembers this later.” He’d say, teasingly blowing a cloud of smoke in Y/N’s direction as she swatted it away.

“You bastard...I’ll go, but I’m not ruining my friendships for this fucked up family.” She’d say, walking out of the room and up the stairs to the spare bedroom. Her head was starting to pound as she laid on the bed, her eyes begging for sleep to take her, even if she had to face the consequences later.

“What will you do if she doesn’t want to go Tom? She’s too sweet to be ‘round all that.” Arthur asked.

“If she can run off and drink and do drugs and talk back to us, I think she can handle a day at the races. It’ll show her the other side, Finn was like that too.” He’d say, pointing his cigarette at the young blinder.

“Oh fuck off Tom.” He’d say, almost drifting off.

“You’re both alike, should’ve expected that.” Polly remarked, noting how Y/N was a year younger than Finn, making them sickeningly similar.

After the meeting he’d excuse them all, probably telling the boys to rest up for the races and for Polly and the others to help with the legitimate business at the shop.

Not long after everyone’s departure though, he’d most likely creak the door open to the spare bedroom. An annoyed look on his face but a sense of relief washing over him as he saw his youngest sister was safe and sound. He’d sneakily put a glass of water near her despite him never drinking any himself half the time. And making sure her head was propped up enough before gently closing the door behind him.

As much as his sister was beginning to be a pain in his side, he would fight anyone in the world for her, and he could see that in her as well. She may defy his orders, but she could never defy the family completely, they just cared too damn much about her to let her go.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders headcanons #thomas shelby #Thomas shelby x sister!reader #thomas shelby x shelby!sister reader #shelby!sister reader

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ukaiknowsbest · 3 years

Text

breaking down Ace of Diamond - the "Hero's Journey."

Using the model/guide presented by Overly Sarcastic Productions in their youtube video Trope Talk: The Hero's Journey, I will attempt to discuss how Sawamura Eijun's story in DnA is his Hero's Journey to becoming an ace pitcher in the Japanese HIgh School Baseball environment.

Blue from OSP put forward the 12 basic parts of the Hero's Journey Cycle. The illustration below will be our reference. I simplified a graph made by Signy Wilson in order to match OSP's less rigid guide.

disclaimer: I am by no means any kind of expert. I was just fascinated when I learned about the Hero's Journey as a general trope/framework when it came to writing stories. I want to apply what I learned by breaking down the story created by Terajima Yuuji in Ace of Diamond.

A. ORDINARY WORLD

STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Hero: Sawamura Eijun. Captain and Ace Pitcher of middle school baseball team. He has no formal training in baseball whatsoever but was the one who gathered and convinced his friends to start a baseball club. He's the best player in their small team. Good at sports but bad at academics .

He is generally a baseball idiot and quite a naive/simple guy with a strong heart. He does not have any idea what competitive and pro baseball looks like because not only does he not have experience but also he does not watch the broadcasts on tv/radio at all.

Ordinary World of the Hero: rural town in Nagano Prefecture, where Sawamura formed a small baseball team with his childhood friends. Acording to him, as long as they all stay together they can always play baseball anywhere.

STAGE 2. THE CALL TO ADVENTURE

2.1 Problem/why hero's ordinary world is going to crumble: - He lessened his chances of being scouted/accepted in a good baseball school after he btchslapped an entire opponent team and the umpires in their first and only match as middle school team in Saitama Stadium.

He also has low chance of being accepted into the high school in their area (where his friends are all going to) because he struggles with his academics a lot.

Unless he does something he won't be able to be together with his friends and/or play baseball at all.

2.2 Caller of the adventure - Takashima Rei pursues Sawamura into Nagano Prefecture in order to scout him as a sports scholar for Seido High School, a baseball powerhouse school located in the West Division of Tokyo Prefecture.

2.3 medicine/ solution to hero's crumbling world: being a sports scholar for Seido. This would solve almost all of Sawamura's highschool enrollment problem and also give him the chance to play as much baseball as he wants.

STAGE 3. REFUSAL TO THE CALL

3.1 reluctance to go: Sawamura refuses to leave Nagano despite Rei's "sales pitch" to him and his family. He doesn't want to leave his friends just to play baseball in a stronger school far away because he had promised his friends that they would always stick together.

3.2 hero punished for this - his grandpa literally smacks/slaps him in being stupid and doubting his friends.!!! / technically circumstances are already punishing him for being a hotblooded baseball idiot in the first place.

3.3 do you think you have a choice - this is probably the only chance he'll get to play baseball with all his strength AND finish highschool.

B. EXTRAORDINARY / UNKNOWN WORLD

Venturing out into more competitive/pro baseball is a world beyond him. It's scary and unknown and he'd rather defeat bigger teams than leave his friends.

STAGE 4. CROSSING THE THRESHOLD

4.1 crossing physical threshold - Rei persuades him to at least check the school out with his own eyes. They leave Tokyo together for one visit.

4.2. crossing a metaphorical threshold - in that visit, sawamura, picks a fight with a senior who's bound for baseball drafts, works together with a nationally acclaimed catcher in defeating the senior player, thus changing his worldview because he had so much fun.

4.2. conscious and irreversible decision - Because of the experience he goes home conflicted. His family encourages him in their own way to follow his guts and heart and go to Tokyo.

STAGE 5. REALM OF ADVENTURE

5.1 hero learns to navigate the unknown world - Sawamura learns the harsh realities of being in a baseball school once he actually starts to live there. Our boy also gets educated in Baseball and Pitching 101. He also finds out the true personality of the catcher he played with before.

5.2 meeting allies/rivals/mentors - he learns about the team better when he meets a whole bunch of people: batchmates, coaches and senpais. He builds interesting dynamics with all of them.

5.3 trials and initial failures - Sawamura undergoes difficult initial training and is barely allowed to play in matches.

5.4 meeting enemies - Sawamura being allowed to play as relief pitcher in the games and face talented pitchers and scary batters mostly in tense situations.

5.5 growth, new skills - Sawamura grows with each match, thus bolstering his confidence. Sometimes he falters but he learns from his mistakes.

5.6 first major success - striking out scary batters with each new thing he learns.

5.7 major challenge that leads to downfall - seido vs inashiro finals match where he goes in full of confidence and courage but then he and his team gets defeated in a devastating way.

STAGE 6. BELLY OF THE WHALE

6.1 lowest point of hero where hero physically or metaphorically goes down - one month after their major defeat, a lot of intense practice matches and change in team dynamics, the team find out that Sawamura has the YIPS. This condition took away Sawamura's ability to pitch in his trademark style/ the only thing he was good at.

6.2 hero's darkest hour - without the ability to pitch, Sawamura questions his reality and why he is still on the team.

6.3 Face and overcome inner demons - with a lot of help from allies and mentors, Sawamura finds a way to bring back a bit of his ability.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS

7.1 Discarding old self - In the duration of his downfall and eventual healing, Sawamura turns to books, meditation and becomes even more careful in maintaining his form and body.

7.2 Accepting the new role - instead of fixating on the ace position like before, Sawamura is just glad that he is still allowed to pitch as relief.

7.3 Finding path out of the belly of the whale/The road back - After figuring out a solution to fix his pitching, he focuses on it and regains some of his ability. Sawamura is then allowed to play in matches. Just like before, he improves little by little as he recovers from each failure. He gains fresher mindset and new weapons, thus becoming an even stronger pitcher than he ever was before.

7.4 more trials - they face new opponent schools and old but improved opponents which test the best of Sawamura and the team's ability

STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

every major match in ace of diamond has this part of the story but usually the most critical breather episode is the one before the final match.

8.1 show humanity of other characters - Somethng bad happens to the other mc without Sawamura knowing. This could absolutely wreck their chances of winning the final match. This shows that the other guys are not 100% invincible after all.

8.2 last chance to relax. - calm before the storm. It is also the time where they finalize sawamura's weapons.

8.3 quiet moment to reminisce - usually happens before each match. However the night before the finals was the major one because their old senpais went to visit their practice and encourage them.

STAGE 9. CLIMAX / STEPPING UP TO THE CHALLENGE

9.1 Final Showdown - Sawamura helps in the team defense with the best of his ability and weapons and he succeeds. Their team eventually wins Fall Tournament even with a few setbacks.

9.2 Apotheosis - Sawamura's worldview changed once he realises that even with his improvement and skill, his goal of being the ace is still out of reach for him.

9.3 Ultimate Boon - Sawamura gets to be a pivotal member of their baseball team and can play baseball as much as he wants with his team.

STAGE 7. ROAD OF TRIALS start again after the Fall Tournament Act 1 because Sawamura faces new challenges in Ace of Diamond Act 2.

Meiji Jingu Tournament - Play in matches without Miyuki

WInter camp and break - Intense Physical Training and development and improvement of his weapons which he will use and improve on throughout the rest of Act 2.

Spring Koshien where he realises that he has to do more in order to surpass the current ace which was Furuya.

Start of New Term/ Practice Matches - Sawamura and co. meets their new kouhai and team dynamics shift once again.

Spring Tournament / Summer Tournament - Sawamura meets old foes and new enemies. He also becomes the Ace Pitcher of the team, which adds more pressure on his part.

ACT 2 STAGE 8. PRE SHOWDOWN BREATHER

This is the big and long one before Summer Tournament Finals match where injuries and problems were discussed and feelings were explored.

ACT 2 STAGE 9. CLIMAX

Final (Or most hyped and awaited rematch) Seido vs Inashiro in order to qualify for Summer Koshien Nationals.

**everything after this point will be prediction and just my opinion

STAGES 7-9 start again

Koshien Nationals Arc.

STAGE 10. CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD

Miyuki/3rd years retirement/graduation. Sawamura and his batch will have to lead the team.

STAGE 11. THE REWARD

Sawamura gets to play with his team as ace pitcher.

STAGE 12 / STAGE 1. THE HERO IN HIS NATURAL ENVIRONMENT

Sawamura may become both ace and captain, same as his role back in his middle school team, albeit in a stronger school. Even if he won't be the next captain, as ace he will still be in a strong leadership position.

CONCLUSION

That's how Ace of Diamond is written in the style of A HERO'S JOURNEY.

Act 1 writing especially followed the trope quite rigidly.

Notes:

I still don't want Sawamura to be the next captain. I hope that does not happen. However if it does, it means the story will have gone back full circle. That would be quite poetic ngl.

Gotta applaud Terajima's pacing. Can you believe that the story only reached its lowest and most pivotal point at around episode 70 of the anime???? thank godt that after ep 63 I read spoilers about yips arc in tv tropes or else i would have dropped the series completely.

I had difficulty in classifying the events after the climax stage into hero's journey stages because technically sawamura has not gone "home" yet. Moreover the challenges and trials just kept on piling up after Fall Tournament.

In this whole story, Sawamura has experienced only one true "Belly of the Whale stage" during his YIPS arc. I don't think he really came to a low point in Act 2 other than his first official match as Ace Pitcher. I treated that in the same vein as the effects of Raichi's first homerun off Sawamura back in Act 1.

I realized that having stages 7-9 recur starting from Meiji Jingu to the current summer tournament is what made reading Act 2 quite frustrating for me. That's at least 5-6 arcs of endless roller coaster ride loops.

I consider Miyuki's departure to be the "CROSSING THE RETURN THRESHOLD" moment because playing with him was the major reason for Sawamura's decision to study and play in Tokyo. Something will change Sawamura when this eventually happens.

As Blue from OSP said, the Hero's Journey is just a general guide/framework to writing stories. It is flexible, writers don't even have to use it or all of its parts to make a good story. Terajima just seemed to have adopted A LOT of the hero's journey trope in his baseball series.

I wanted to add more pictures tbh but tumblr is a killjoy :(

This was a fun thought exercise. There were probably even some parts which I have used the tropes wrongly. Please feel free to dispute me.

I talked about Sawamura's mentors here (x).

#sawamura eijun #sports anime #ace of diamond #daiya no a #daiya meta #daiya discuss #hero's journey #long post #daiya thoughts

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jojosbizarrefanfics · 4 years

Note

Hello! Can I order up a Jotaro x childhood friend(he has a crush on her ahdhhehshda) and she's kinda like Microphage from Cells at work? Motherly, a stand user(so she tags along on the journey), and she's busty so she accidentally smothers the joot in them? Not nsfw, but maybe something a bit light hearted and funny bc theres so many angst and we need more silliness. Hope you're okay with this, and hope this isn't vague or anything! Bye~!♡

One order of Jotaro x busty lifelong friend reader coming right up! I got carried away oops

I’ve never seen Cells At Work but the fandom wiki + your request being not-vague = I think I got what you’re going for and I love it for Jotaro fkkdfkskfkskfk

You were friends with most of your class in elementary school, but that changed once you hit puberty. Jotaro was the only friend who didn’t care that you suddenly had boobs, and you were the only girl in the class that didn’t have a weird crush on him. You valued each other as people and had a deeper bond than most people even realized.

Holly loved you and often made comments when you weren’t around about when you two would start dating. Especially while he was still in high school, Jotaro always shrugged her off, insisting that you two were just friends.

When his Stand awakened, you were there for him. Along the way to Egypt, you’d explain to him how you were born with yours but no one could see it and, as a child, your parents and teachers just dismissed it as an imaginary friend so you never brought it up to anyone. Your bond only grew deeper, and as you joined him on the quest to defeat Dio — he tried to tell you it would be too dangerous, but you refused his refusal — you two just grew even closer, especially over nights of you dressing his wounds and grieving lost friends. Your Stand, called Macrophage, took the form of a stark white woman wearing a maid outfit and would often cuddle with Star Platinum during these intimate moments.

You both shared your first kiss during one of your Stands’ cuddle sessions after you helped patch each other up. It was in a hotel room in Egypt and you both weren’t totally sure you’d live to see the next sunrise. Neither of you ever spoke about it again.

Ever since returning from Egypt, Jotaro started to wonder if there was any merit in what Holly was suggesting: should he ask you out, or was it better to not risk ruining a decades long friendship?

He decided against testing those waters. He convinced himself that kiss you shared was just the heat of the moment and from a fear of dying. But over the years, he noticed you denying men left and right — just like how he’d deny women. He knew why because he experienced the same thing: people tended to not care enough to look beyond the surface.

Josuke Higashikata was still trying to figure out the enigma that was his nephew when he saw Jotaro heading to the train station. Was he leaving already? It didn’t look like he had a ticket. Josuke, alongside Okuyasu, followed Jotaro in from a distance, but before they could approach to ask, a train pulled up and the passengers departed. They decided to linger back and wait.

You spotted Jotaro instantly: he was hard to miss due to how tall and broad he was, so you always knew to look up and go wherever you saw one of his signature hats. Josuke saw Jotaro smile for the first time when the gorgeous and large-chested (HC) woman ran up to him and jumped up, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

Jotaro was quick to lift you up into the hug, strong arms wrapping around your torso. This wasn’t his style, but it was yours and he knew by now to just let you have your moment of affection. There was no stopping you and resistance was pointless.

“How’s my favorite marine biologist?” You asked.

“I’m the only marine biologist you know, (YN),” he replied as he set you down.

You ran your hands over the lapels on his jacket, then one up to cup his cheek. “You look good. But have you been sleeping?”

“Trying to,” Jotaro said. “It’s good to see you, (YN). I’m glad you came.”

“Come on, now. My best friend tells me there’s some weird, potentially-Stand related activity going on in a normally quiet town and you think I’m not gonna drop everything and catch the next train?” You said with a laugh.

“Do you have any other bags?” Jotaro asked.

“Just these two. I tried not to overpack but you know how well that works out for me,” you said with a nervous laugh.

“やれやれだぜ,” Jotaro said playfully as he picked up your bags. “Don’t even fight me on this. Come on, the hotel’s not far from here.” He swallowed, not sure why he suddenly felt nervous asking you, “Are you okay with sharing a room with me? I’m not sure how dangerous things could get.”

“JoJo, please,” you said. “You should know by now that it’s okay.”

“Did she just call him JoJo?” Josuke asked Okuyasu. Now that you two were on the move, it was easier to overhear.

“Look at her! Do you think it’s his girlfriend or somethin’? Man, she’s hot!”

The hotel was just across the intersection, but you stopped Jotaro before you could cross. You held a hand up and took a deep breath. Macrophage emerged and confirmed what you thought for you.

“What is it?” Jotaro asked.

“We’re being followed,” you said. “Two men... no. Teenage boys?”

Jotaro groaned. “Remember what I told you with my grandparents?”

“Oh, is this..?”

“Mhm.”

“Do you like him?” You asked.

“I’m not sure yet,” Jotaro said flatly.

Suddenly, the two of you were much closer to one another: it was almost as if the space between you two vanished into an invisible vacuum. Jotaro, carrying your bags and not expecting the sudden shift, lost his balance a bit and, as you tried to help catch him, his face ended up firmly planted between your chest.

“(YN), forgive me,” he said as he stood. You noticed a hint of pink to Jotaro’s cheeks, a rare sight indeed.

“It’s ok. Is your... uncle?”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Is he a Stand user?”

“I swear that half this damn town is,” Jotaro said. Just when he felt the embarrassment fading, he felt someone pushing him and his face landed right between your breasts again.

“Clearly they want a show,” you said. You looked around, saw no one on the street, and to Jotaro’s surprise, you pushed his face further between your breasts. “Trust me, ok?”

“What the hell?”

Suddenly, the sound of Josuke and Okuyasu screaming could be heard clearly as they ran from the alley they were hiding in. From there, you helped Jotaro stand up.

“I’m so glad you were never like that as a teenager,” you said with a laugh.

“Jotaro-san!” Okuyasu cried as they approached you both. “We’re sorry! Miss! We’re sorry!”

“Please tell your Stand to not kill us!” Josuke cried, hands clasped together.

Jotaro was hiding his face with his hat. He was equal parts furious and mortified, hoping you wouldn’t think any less of him.

“If you two got your heads out of your pants you’d have seen Macrophage coming,” you said. “ばかやろう...”

“Her Stand is just as deadly as Star Platinum,” Jotaro said. “You two should be more careful next time you decide to snoop around.”

“We’re sorry! We thought it would be funny!” Josuke said nervously.

“Is this your girlfriend, Jotaro-san?” Okuyasu asked.

You looked to Jotaro, who simply picked up suitcase with one hand, slung your backpack over his shoulder, and then grabbed you by the hand and dragged you across the street. They didn’t follow.

“You okay, JoJo?” You asked.

“I’ve decided I don’t like them.”

You stifled a laugh. “I can’t tell if you’re pissed off or flustered.” He never let go of your hand. “You don’t have to worry about it, you know.”

He was silent still, so you said nothing. You knew pressing it wouldn’t get you anywhere. But, you noticed, he didn’t let go of your hand.

Jotaro sighed in relief once the hotel room door was closed behind you both. The Morioh Grand Hotel lived up to its name, you thought. Once Jotaro set your things down, you sat next to each other on the edge of the bed.

“You have this look in your eyes that I know all too well,” you said. Jotaro looked up at you and you both made eye contact. “There’s something you want to say. And it’s not about the Stand users in Morioh.”

“Do you remember that last night in Egypt before we faced DIO?”

You nodded. “I’ll never forget it.”

“Have you ever thought about what it would be like if I were to kiss you again?”

You smiled. “Yes. I do, and frequently.” It all made sense now, why he was so nervous when Josuke and Okuyasu pulled that prank with their Stands.

“And I’m not just thinking this because of what just happened.”

“I know,” you said. “I know you better than that, JoJo.”

Jotaro didn’t say anything else. Instead, he just kissed you again. This time, the world wasn’t ending. This time, he allowed himself to feel everything in full.

#jotaro kujo x reader #jotaro x reader #jotaro imagine #jojos bizzare adventure #jjba x reader

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oldjane · 3 years

Text

So this friend of mine, whose tumblr handle I don’t even know, so Imma link to their ao3 profile instead, was going feral about some movie they saw, and about a JoeNicky AU for it, and I haven’t seen the movie, don’t even remember the name of it, but well.

Here is... Some AU (unedited).

“We have to get out of here!”

Nile’s panicked voice spurs him on. He is running to the dock, hoping the emergency pods are not too badly damaged by the ravage going on around them. Joe is half a step in front of him.

Nicky doesn’t know where everybody else is – most of the inhabitants got evacuated late yesterday afternoon, but there will still be dozens of people who didn’t make it onto the evac shuttles. Nobody expected disaster to strike quite so soon. Nicky knows pods have been leaving all day, but they thought they had at least two more days. There will be people trapped, families who are desperately trying to make it to the pods –

Nicky stops, tries to turn around, but Joe notices and grabs his wrist.

“Nicky, no! We need to go, now!”

“But there might be others, we should –”

“No!” Joe’s voice is sharp, and he tugs at Nicky’s arm desperately. “There is no time!”

His eyes are huge, and his curls stick to his sweaty temple. His shirt is dirty and there is a gash on his arm. It is a far cry from the cool and calm engineer who arrived almost three years ago, introducing himself to Nicky with a wink. But he is still the most handsome man Nicky ever saw.

He fell in love with Joe at that first wink, and somehow, Joe didn’t seem to mind Nicky being painfully shy and blushing fervently as he awkwardly managed to introduce himself. Over the next two months, Joe simultaneously managed to draw Nicky out of his shell and make himself a fixture in Nicky’s comfort zone. They’ve been the best of friends and Nicky kept his feelings firmly under lock, afraid of losing Joe completely.

“Come on, Nicky, please!”

Nicky throws one last look over his shoulder, and Joe almost dislocates Nicky’s shoulder, he is yanking his arm so wildly.

There is nothing Nicky can do, and so he follows Joe. He would follow Joe everywhere.

The dock is in complete disarray. A lot of the stations are empty, and Nicky is glad that so many people got out. The far side of the dock is completely destroyed, and some of the remaining pods seem too damaged to risk the journey.

Nile yells at them to hurry. They run to where she found a pod in a good state.

“I don’t know – I never used these things –”

She is trying to enter the correct code with hands that tremble terribly, and Nicky looks at Joe. Joe nods, and he covers Nile’s hand with his own.

“It’s really easy,” he shushes, and he turns her towards him while Nicky makes quick work of unlocking the pod and firing up the systems. He hears Joe talk to Nile, explain to her how the pods work, what will happen. His voice is soft and calm, and Nile sniffs away her tears as she nods.

Nicky’s heart could explode. Here is Joe, taking care of one of their friends, as if this is just another day and they are not minutes away from being completely wiped away.

Nile steps into the pod, and without hesitation, Nicky and Joe strap her in, as if they have done this a thousand times. Their hands brush. Nicky feels the usual combo of heart flutters and a sense of belonging whenever he and Joe touch, but there is no time for that. He keeps running the procedures, and Joe keeps talking to Nile.

“You will get to the surface, and we will be right behind you, okay? I promise we won’t leave you alone. A beacon signal will alert home base, it will be no longer than thirty minutes before the chopper picks us up. You can open the hatch as soon as this light comes on, okay?” He points to the clear indicator. “The systems are all working perfectly,” he continues, when Nicky reaches the final check. “Tell me what you have to do.”

“Enter my personal code and the take-off code – seven-nine-four, enter, three-nine-three. Then the green button. Close the hatch.” she says, sounding almost normal, ticking it off on her fingers. “When I get up, this light will come on and I open the hatch. You will be right behind me. The chopper will be there not long after.”

“Good,” Joe replies fondly. “You’ll be fine, Nile. Keep your eyes on the screen, the counter will start as soon as you take off. We will see you up there in fifteen minutes.”

As Joe reassures Nile one last time, Nicky scans the stations. They can’t go back to the main section anymore, they need to find undamaged pods here and they need to be fast. The warning signs for critically low oxygen levels have been blasting for at least twenty minutes now. They could run out any minute. But most stations are empty, and the pods that are still here are broken and rusty.

There. Nicky sees one, and as soon as Nile closes the hatch, he pulls Joe along.

He opens the pod, and he breathes out in relief when it reacts immediately. It seems to be functional, and he pushes Joe in, entering the launch key.

Joe goes along, strapping himself in.

“Leave it, Nicky, I can do this myself, get to a pod –”

Nicky knows exactly when Joe notices what Nicky already knew. He starts unstrapping, but Nicky is faster. He locks Joe’s chair in place, keeps working on the take-off checklist.

“Nicky, stop, we can find you one further along –”

“There is no time, Joe,” Nicky says calmly. “We will run out of oxygen in seconds.”

“Come in, then, I won’t leave you –”

“There is not enough oxygen for two, Joe, you know that.”

“We will breathe as little as possible, hold our breath, something! Nicky, they never even tested that stuff, we could –”

“We are not risking it, Joe. One of us has to make it up there alive for Nile. You promised her.”

Joe is frantic now.

“Not without you, Nicky, stop, please!”

He reaches for the touch screen, trying to override Nicky’s commands. Nicky slaps him full in the face, and Joe falls back in the chair, stunned. It gives Nicky just the seconds he needs to complete the final procedure. He knows Joe’s code, of course, they’ve been friends for years, and he doesn’t make a mistake. Then the same numbers Joe told Nile, seven-nine-four, enter, three-nine-three.

“Nicky, no,” Joe begs, and –

Nicky presses the green button, not looking at Joe, not listening to his pleas.

Nicky will die here. He will die, within the next minute, while Joe is travelling up, and –

Nicky grabs Joe’s face between his large hands. One cheek feels hot where Nicky slapped him, but he doesn’t pay attention to that.

He stares into Joe’s beautiful, beloved eyes, and he bends closer to press his lips on Joe’s.

It is too short, too chaste for three years of pining, but there is no time – a crash, close by, vibrates through the structure, and Nicky pulls back. Joe starts saying something, but Nicky shakes his head and closes the hatch, gently but determinedly.

He hears Joe’s voice, calling out for him, but then the pod is sealed hermetically. It takes off smoothly, and Nicky’s knees buckle.

***

The fifteen minutes before Joe reaches the surface are the longest and the shortest of his life.

He screams himself hoarse in fifteen minutes, he bangs his fists on the inside walls of the pod until his knuckles burst, and then he touches his lips, where Nicky’s were but the blink of an eye ago.

Almost three years of dreaming about Nicky’s kiss, and –

And now –

He curses himself. He should have known Nicky would make sure everybody else got out before him. He should have seen right through him, should have forced him to go first –

He should have told Nicky he was in love with him three years ago. He should have kissed that man every chance he got, because now he will not ever get to again.

He is too distracted to pay attention to the screen or the indicators, and only when a robotic voice announces he needs to open the hatch because oxygen is low, he mechanically unstraps and enters the correct code.

Nile is floating right by his side.

“Oh, thank God!” she says as soon as he stands up. “Your pod arrived but you didn’t open the hatch, I was freaking out here, I didn’t know if there was a problem or – wait.” She takes a look at Joe, and she cuts herself off.

Joe doesn’t know how he looks – his eyes feel puffy and tears are streaming over his cheeks and his hands are bloodied.

“Wait,” Nile says again, unsteady. “Your pod arrived at least five minutes ago. Why isn’t – where is Nicky?”

Joe can’t help himself. A fresh wave of tears springs to his eyes, and he screams to the heavens.

He wants to dive back into the water, swim down, every meter a meter closer to Nicky, until he drowns as close to Nicky as he’ll ever be again.

Nile gasps.

“Joe, Nicky – Nicky made it out, right?”

He doesn’t answer, just sobs, his lungs burning, his throat choked up.

Nile reaches her arms out for him in a futile gesture, since they are both confined to their pods, and anyway, hers are not the arms Joe wants around him right now.

“I am sorry,” he hears Nile whisper, but it doesn’t help either. It feels like nothing will ever help.

If you asked him two days ago, he would have said feeling the sun on his skin again would make him the happiest man ever – it would have been a lie, of course. Kissing Nicky would make him the happiest man ever, and he got to do that, and the sun is reflecting from the water, but nothing will ever make him happy again.

The water has exactly the same colour as Nicky’s eyes.

He should say something to Nile, praise her for making it up here, assure her they would be picked up any minute now, tell her he loves Nicky with all his heart – though she might have some inkling of that by now – but he cannot bring himself to do any of it.

Then he hears the rhythmic sounds of the helicopter blades, and he will be brought to home base, and he will be further away from Nicky than he ever has been since they met, and –

Nile is winched up first, and then Joe. Somebody is interrogating Nile when he is pulled into the chopper.

“Anybody else coming?” a rough voice asks, and Joe curls in upon himself on the floor as he shakes his head.

“We were the last people at the dock,” Nile says hesitantly, “The two of us and – and Nicky – but we were out of oxygen –”

“So we are still waiting for this Nicky then?” the pilot asks, and Nile looks at Joe.

Joe doesn’t answer, can’t speak, wants to get to the base and be left alone for a week – a month – maybe a lifetime.

“I – I don’t think so,” Nile says. “There were not many pods left, and most were damaged, and – and we’ve been up for ten minutes, and –”

She doesn’t finish, but everybody knows what she’s not saying. There was not enough oxygen left for ten minutes. Nicky isn’t coming.

“Sorry,” the first speaker says. “Let’s go, then,” he directs the pilot, and they swerve off. Joe stares to the window, to their floating pods. A boat will come by later, tomorrow or the day after, to retrieve the pods. Somewhere, miles below, is Nicky.

Did he suffer? Did he regret kissing Joe as he died all alone?

Another sobs wrecks through him, and Nile does pull him closer this time, and Joe buries his face against her shoulder as he cries his heart out.

And then suddenly a harsh beeping fills the cabin.

“What the –” the pilot mutters, and the other guy’s voice is hard.

“You said there was nobody else!”

Joe’s heart leaps into his throat.

Nile speaks up.

“We thought – we didn’t know –”

“Could be something else too,” the pilot mutters. “Let’s check.”

The chopper swerves again, and two dots appear as they get closer, but no –

There is a third pod there, and the beacon signal gets louder, almost deafening Joe.

“Joe – Joe, look,” Nile says, and Joe does.

The pod is battered and cracked, an older model by the looks of things. It’s a miracle it made it, any of these fractures look like they could tear the thing in two any second, and –

Nothing.

The hatch doesn’t open, and Joe dies a second time that day. Is it just an empty pod that managed to launch itself somehow?

They get closer, and still no sign of life. The diver is winched down, and he pries open the hatch so agonizingly slowly.

Then they hear his voice through his comms system.

“There is someone in here. Male, unconscious. Twenty-five, thirty, maybe. Brown hair.”

“That your friend?” the pilot asks.

“Yes, maybe,” Nile says, hope dripping from every syllable.

“Older model pod,” the diver continues. “Takes longer to come up. Amazed it even got here, seems to have not been maintained in years.”

The winching up is silent, and it seems to take so much longer than when it was Joe hanging there. Every second is a lifetime.

“He has a mole on his chin,” the diver then says, and Joe doesn’t believe his ears, asks Nile to repeat, but she just hugs him, laughing and crying at the same time.

“It’s Nicky, Joe! It’s him! He made it.”

And then the diver is pulling him in, and it’s Nicky, and he is breathing, and Joe is sobbing again, from joy this time.

The diver puts an oxygen mask on Nicky, and Joe crawls over, cradles Nicky close, kisses his jaw, his hair, his hand.

He’s gonna do that for a long time, if Nicky allows him to. As soon as Nicky wakes up, he will tell him he has loved him since he first saw him, competently bandaging up somebody who had fallen off a ladder, setting a broken bone and wrapping up a deep wound on their temple. He had been talking softly the whole time, reassuring the woman it would be fine, distracting her from the pain, and at the same time managing to keep the woman’s young child calm. He’d been so effortlessly competent and kind and so damn attractive. Joe had introduced himself and Nicky had been adorably shy, and Joe had been hopelessly lost.

And then he’d wasted three years.

And he’ll be damned if he wastes another second.

Nicky opens his eyes, and blinks. Joe smiles, but he must look a freight. And yet, Nicky pulls off the mask, and he mouths Joe’s name, though no sound comes out.

“Nicky,” Joe stutters, and then he decides talking is overrated.

He softly, gently lays his hands on Nicky’s face. He stares into Nicky’s beautiful, beloved eyes, and he bends closer to press his lips on Nicky’s.

There is nothing short about it. They have three years to make up for, and the rest of their life to do it.

#I write things #The Old Guard #JoeNicky #Kaysanova #fanfic

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animeyanderelover · 4 years

Note

I've looked through your "sharing a darling" post and I've been inspired. I'd love to see Tsunade with a darling, who's Orochimaru's little sister. I imagine she and Tsuna probably were friends before she deserted the village with Orochi. And when she's nowhere near as heartless as Orochi, she's a morally-gray type of person. [With romantic yandere!Tsunade + platonic!yandere Orochimaru]

I’m glad you got inspired by my post☺️.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, paranoia, violence

Darling is Orochimaru’s little sister

🐍🐌We’ve often talked about this, but Orochimaru has a weird way of showing his care, especially if it comes to persons he’s obsessed with. If you would be a test object he would most likely show genuine interest in you because you’re very useful. But how does this work when you’re his sister? It’s suspected that a part of why Orochimaru became the way he is like he is because he wanted to leave the painful memories of the past behind, including the death of his parents. So you were the only family he had left.

🐍🐌His way of caring showed himself from a very young age on with wanting you to get stronger. Orochimaru has a dislike for the fragility of life and it’s most likely that you and him shared more or less the same interest in kinjutsu. I can’t say that you had the same obsession as him with it, but you just tagged along with him.

🐍🐌Since Tsunade and Orochimaru were on the same team it was understandable that you were friends with them. Jiraiya was probably the guy who often asked you out on dates and made some less appropriate comments about you, earning a hit on the head from Tsunade and a unnerving look from Orochimaru. Tsunade was most likely friends with you because you were the only other girl from the three.

🐍🐌At the beginning it was just a friendship, a strong one. Tsunade was often a bit worried about you, knowing how twisted Orochimaru could be. You never minded, being used to all of this since you had grown up with him together.

🐍🐌Tsunade started becoming a tad more clingy and overprotective after Nawaki had died. It was somewhat of the beginning of her Yandere tendencies and it stayed that way even after she had got to know Dan. You often visited with her together Nawaki’s grave and showed him respect for his actions. But you were glad that Tsunade had found someone else who made her happy since you had suffered with her after the death of her brother. Because despite being slightly influenced from Orochimaru’s twisted personality you had always been the one who had cared more and showed it more.

🐍🐌Somehow I think after Dan died as well and you were again there to comfort Tsunade you somehow started to see things a bit more from Orochimaru’s side, understanding why he loathed the fragility of life. Because humans were so delicate that you could lose them at any moment. I would even go as far that Tsunade’s devastation over Nawaki and Dan left a huge impact on you and led you to becoming who you were.

🐍🐌Tsunade was at first most likely only a platonic Yandere for you, still seeing you as her best friend. She became incredibly clingy and overprotective and also started greatly disliking your brother. Why? Because Orochimaru gave off the feeling that you didn’t mean anything to him and he wouldn’t even be sad if you would die. He hadn’t looked affected when Nawaki had died and he hadn’t looked really affected when Dan had died. So it was no wonder that Tsunade was terrified of losing you as well and needing to see how not even you as Orochimaru’s sister would lead him to show any sorrow.

🐍🐌It was at the beginning just the genuine desire to keep you safe and alive. But with time it turned into something more intense for Tsunade. The knowledge that she could lose the person who had been always there for you made her go almost crazy. She might not even have realized when exactly it had happened. But one day you just gave her a warm smile...And Tsunade felt her heart speeding up in her chest rapidly and butterflies erupting from the pit of her stomach.

🐍🐌Orochimaru watched all of this with narrowed eyes, the way how Tsunade started clinging onto you tightly and the way she looked at you. It didn’t matter to him that Tsunade deserved happiness after everything that had happened to her. He didn’t want you to become weak by becoming too sentimental which you obviously were. It wasn’t like you had already changed a lot because of him, your view of the world having become slightly distorted because of his influence and the still fresh memory of Tsunade mourning over her brother and her lover. And I bet Orochimaru used that to control you a bit more.

🐍🐌Tsunade on the other hand worried because she noticed clearly how much you had changed in those last years and she knew too well who the culprit was. So she tried to keep you away from Orochimaru by often going out with you and asking you to spend time with him. And this didn’t suit with Orochimaru who would have preferred to continue training and experimenting with you.

🐍🐌It was most likely out of loyalty and own belief that you decided to follow Orochimaru into exile, some of his beliefs having influenced you as well. And Tsunade was once again completely devastated for losing another precious person to her, asking herself what she had done so terribly wrong in life to lose everyone she seemed to love.

🐍🐌Being Orochimaru’s sister and most likely on the same level of strength as him made you very respected and worshipped by his underlings like Kabuto and Kimimaro. And despite searching with him for a way to gain complete immortality You never agreed with his opinions all the time, disliking the way he treated others. You were somewhat of a mother figure for many people under him and were even known to forgive people different than Orochimaru. And Orochimaru didn’t really like this, fearing that your softness would be one day your death sentence. Orochimaru isn’t the type to start a fight over this, at least not in the classic sense. But he would cruelly tease your weak spots to get a reaction out of you and to try to reason with you that being so soft wouldn’t bring you anywhere.

🐍🐌I guess that Tsunade’s heart broke even more after hearing what you were doing, experimenting on people to gain immortality. She blamed herself for this, feeling like she should have ripped you away from your brother’s tight grip sooner since he had been the one who had corrupted you like this.

🐍🐌Tsunade met you most likely again whilst Naruto and Jiraiya were searching for her to convince her to become the fifth Hokage. She was already pissed enough at Orochimaru, never having forgiven him for ruining you like this. But she was also scared when seeing you again, freezing at first. She just really hoped that there was still some part of the old you left and not having become as cruel and heartless as Orochimaru had. You were also shocked to see her again, feeling a bit conflicted about how to face her after all those years again.

🐍🐌During the fight of the three you didn’t really participate, watching more from a distance. Not because you were lazy, but because you and Orochimaru knew that you might switch sides during the battle. Because you still cared. Tsunade was still your friend. So when Orochimaru wanted to kill Naruto and Tsunade kept sacrificing herself you would have lied if you would have said that you didn’t care. Instead you might have even tried to stop Orochimaru from completely killing her, that was at least until she released her jutsu and showed what she was capable off.

🐍🐌Different from Orochimaru you also never disliked Naruto and saw him as a poor excuse. You saw potential and passion in him, reminding you of Nawaki. That’s why you wanted to keep him alive. Because he had helped Tsunade out of her misery. And you were proud of her when she officially became Hokage, sending a anonymous gift and a small letter in which you congratulated her and told her how happy you were for her. And Tsunade knew too well who had sent her this.

🐍🐌I feel like after Sasuke joined Orochimaru you might have even gone as far as sometimes giving the village hints about his development without anyone finding out. And whenever such small notes received in the village, dropping hints about current whereabouts or informations about possible future plans from Orochimaru Tsunade always felt hopeful and encouraged that the old You was still there, that you weren’t completely possessed by evil like your older brother was.

🐍🐌I feel like you traveled back to the village after Sasuke killed Orichimaru. You had no reason to stay after all. And for someone who was known as an S-rated criminal you came over pretty calm when suddenly appearing in front of the gates of your old village. And best belief that when Tsunade Heard- that you were back, she completely lost it and instantly stormed towards you, not knowing whether to yell at you for doing such terrible things to her and other people or cry and suffocate you in a hug out of relief. In the end it became a mix made out of both.

🐍🐌You were taken under custody back into the village, your reputation being a bit saved because of all the small hints you had given them through the years. That and the fact that you answered all questions honestly have some ninjas troubles to judge you rightfully, not knowing whether to think of you as a good or bad person. On the one hand you had experimented on others, you had used the same jutsu as Orochimaru to reach immortality and many other things. But on the other hand there were countless tellings and rumors from many places and people that you had freed them out of Orochimaru’s grip or had even helped villages in need on your journeys. That made it somewhat troublesome whether to decide if you belonged in prison or not.

🐍🐌In the end it was decided to not send you into prison, mainly because Tsunade had insisted on it, but also because many had agreed that you had done many good things after all and had come back on your own free will, not to mention that you had told them everything they had wanted and needed answers for for so long. But you were kept under very tight custody, a few Anbu members always watching you.

🐍🐌Shizune knew from Tsunade’s love for you, having witnessed many times how Tsunade had started becoming very talkative about you after a few or many bottles of sake and knew that Tsunade had still feelings for you. And she advices to not risk anything with you, they still didn’t know whether you were on their side or not. Tsunade didn’t want to hear this, but not because she believed that Shizune was wrong, but because she knew that Shizune might be right.

🐍🐌She often came visiting you, wanting to at least talk to you and know why you had done this. Why you had left her. Why you had decided to tag along with Orochimaru. Why you had done all those terrible things and still so much good stuff at the same time. What were your motives?

🐍🐌I feel like Tsunade would be able to start a normal relationship with you after the war and after Orochimaru was reincarnated. Because the main problem before had been that people had, when looking at you, only been able to see Orochimaru. A cruel and sadistic criminal. But for whatever reason Orochimaru had been forgiven after the shinobi war and Tsunade also retired more or less since Kakashi became the sixth Hokage shortly after the war ended. There will be some tension between her and Orochimaru after that, especially since Tsunade still blames Orochimaru for corrupting you like this. Orochimaru wouldn’t be too happy either, but surprisingly he’s more okay than Tsunade with this since he doesn’t hold that much of a personal grudge against her like she does. He did become better after the war and was more accepting with it. As long as you don’t become a weakling that is, power is still a thing and will always be a thing for him.

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere orochimaru #yandere tsunade #yandere tsunade senju #platonic yandere

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yandere-sins · 4 years

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The Fox Wedding - Run away with Atsumu

Summary: You are to marry the fox spirit Kita Shinsuke after you accidentally agreed to become his wife by signing the deed to your new home. A contract is a contract, he says, but is there more to this marriage than you know? Will you be whisked away by one of the foxy twins instead, or have to marry Kita after all? Can you be with a creature that only seems tender on the surface, or will you try to run even if it might cost you your life? Choose your route carefully, you never know what these foxes are up to!

Characters: Kitsune!Miya Atsumu x afab!Reader

Rating: Explicit Warnings for this chapter: Yandere, Kidnapping, Forced/Unhealthy Relationship, Rough Handling, Verbal Insults, Mention of blood, Manipulation, Narcissistic behavior, Idolization

With your head bumping against the wall every time you finally slipped into sleep, your night wasn’t a particularly restful one. You wished for a soft bed, a mattress even, but all you had was that one corner in the cell you deemed ‘safe’. At least, you couldn’t be seen from the window or reached through the bars. It would give you enough time to wake up and get ready when someone came around to bother you again.

The short clips of dreams you experienced were both colorful depictions of a better life than you were currently in, and at the same time, nightmares of shadows and claws reaching for you. Neither truly made the reality any better, but you were glad to at least get some kind of rest after everything that had happened.

For probably an hour after your late-night visit at the window, had you continued to pace the cell. Some part of you had expected that there would be someone coming to free you after all. But the sparks of anticipation never completely started a fire of hope inside of you, and after a while, you realized no one was going to rescue you, no matter how long you waited. It was the point where you could only sigh, hug yourself and cower into your corner, wishing for the morning to come faster than the sadness and hopelessness you felt.

Undeniable, the thing that you feared the most was the feeling of acceptance that slowly but surely crept through your night. The longer you had to sit around and do nothing, the more you felt the despair of the situation. So you really would have to marry this man you barely knew? Was your life really going to take such a strange and undesired curve? Could you become happy here, under the fox spirits? Live a more or less ‘normal’ life with them? Even if you didn’t want it, for the sake of not having to fear for your well-being every second of your life, would you be able to accept it?

Those all were the thoughts weighing heavily on your mind. Other people had years to make life decisions like this - marriage, joining a new family and culture. And you had… hours, at best. The life you had wanted and imagined before was now in crumbling ruins. In contrast, you hadn’t even started building the new one, and that was not only tearing at your nerves but also ignited anxiety beyond comparison to anything you ever did before, inside of you.

“Hey,” you heard a soft voice in your dreams. It sounded so close and familiar, you were tempted to listen to it longer. So far, the voices in your dreams hadn’t been good in any way, but this one was welcoming to you for unknown reasons. Just like it was the touch to your cheek, warm and gentle, a palm keeping your head from bumping into the wall any longer.

“Wakey-wakey ~” the voice cooed, caressing your cheeks in its hands as you slowly tore yourself out of your dreams. That was a peculiar instruction for a dream. After all, the whole point of dreaming was being asleep! You squeezed your eyes together tightly, groaning lightly under your mind awakening. Instantly, the heaviness of the situation returned, reminding you of the future and the burdensome expectations on your shoulders. It wasn’t so much a gentle awakening than it was an exhausting pull back into reality.

No wonder that when you blinked your heavy eyelids a few times, focusing your gaze on your immediate proximity, the scare of the century overcame you, seeing a face only inches from you. Your body, immediately alert, began to struggle, but your throat acted up as you wanted to scream, and a hand covered your mouth before you could go through with it. Your heart was about to leap out of your chest from the surprise, and you instinctively clasped your hand around the arm, digging your nails in.

“Whoa! It’s me! It’s me, calm down!”

Were you supposed to know this person? Yes, the voice sounded familiar, but in the darkness, it was hard to make out any features aside from strands of light blonde hair and an eerie shine coming from the person’s eyes. Blonde hair? Where had you seen that before?

“We met at the window, remember?”

Slowly, cautiously, you began to nod. Yeah, you remembered now. With your mind waking up, you remembered the encounter you had with the twin-like fox spirits, who got ushered away by Kita. One of them, the one who promised to come and get you, had been blonde. Your eyes grew wide as you nodded more strongly, letting off his arm, and he too put down his hand from your mouth, now that you both were sure you wouldn’t scream and alert anyone.

“You came back...” you whispered, unbelieving. With the reality dawning on you, you couldn’t quite believe what was happening. He really kept his word. He really came to get you. “You- You…”

Feeling the tears of relief well up in your eyes, you didn’t think twice before throwing yourself at him. No matter how inappropriate or out of place this action was, you were hit with unspeakable joy that someone would come for you. That there was at least one spirit with good intentions in all of this was as unbelievable as it suddenly was real, and you hugged him tightly with your arms slung around his neck.

For a moment, you were hit with stunned silence until you realized what you were doing. You were just about to pull away when you felt his arms snake around you, pulling you in close. One hand rested against your lower back, the other on the back of your head. Completely enveloped in his arms, you could feel yourself relax a little, breathing in the earthy yet strangely sweet smell that came from him. Warmth spread all over your body, from head to toe, as he embraced you, and you felt safe and comforted in his arms, even if the situation was still far from it.

But eventually, it was he who pulled away first, hand falling from your hair to your cheek shortly to caress it for a moment. The spirit kept you close, whispering into your ear to minimize the risk of someone else hearing you talk. “It sucks to stop now, but we have to go. I’ll hold you all you want later though!”

With a soft gasp, you pushed your hands into his chest, and you heard him chuckle while you felt yourself grow hot from embarrassment. When you moved, he let you go but kept his hand on your right elbow to pull you up into a stand. “Keep quiet and don’t let go,” he instructed, his hand falling to yours. Sparks of fear overcame you as you realized you’d have to hold his hand, simply because you expected that same sharpness of claws on his as on everyone else.

But when you laid your palm in his, he gently clasped it around your hand, squeezing it without cutting or hurting you. You could hold his just as tenderly, and yet you weren’t afraid anymore, not even about him maybe letting go of you.

Pulling you along, you made one step before you used your weight to stop the movement immediately. “Wait!” you called out, softening your voice. Having stepped into the moonlight coming in through the window, you could see his ears twitch as you thought, the young man turning around confused about what could be.

“What…” Suddenly you felt almost ashamed to ask, and you avoided looking at him. Perhaps you were seeing him in a totally new light now. From the feared fox spirits, he had turned into something more of a prince, rescuing you, the princess, from the evil sorcerer - or so. Still, you were caught off-guard by his expressive face and the cute, moving ears on his head, the light almost coating him in a warm shimmer. You hadn’t noticed before, but he really was… handsome - if that was a word that could be used on spirits.

You almost forgot all about what kind of spirit he was.

“What’s your name…?” you asked coyly, and his lips curled up into a grin almost immediately. “Call me Atsumu,” he told you carefreely, and you couldn’t help yourself from smiling too.

“Then… Thank you, Atsumu-san.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

Before you could question him, he turned around, pulling you towards the bars. Only now did you notice the gap he created, and you wondered if he could use the same kind of magic Kita used on them before. He helped you step outside, keeping you from bumping your head on them in the dark, and led you up the stairs where he waited. “Where are we going?” you asked, cowering next to him as he checked that no one was near.

“The forest. So far away that they can’t follow.”

“Should we go back to my house first? If… If it’s a longer journey, maybe we’ll need to prepare.”

Carefully, he opened up the door. There was no audible sound coming from it, which calmed you down as you feared someone spying you immediately. “That’s the first place they’d look. Where we’re going--” Atsumu paused, his ears twitched as he tensed, suddenly in high alert. The next seconds seemed like a small eternity to you as you instantly feared getting caught already. No words could describe the relief you felt as he relaxed again, turning to you and smiling wildly.

“You won’t need anything ’long as I am around!”

Somehow, his chipper nature was contagious. You felt immediately better, not as overcome with worries. As if you could put yourself into his care without thinking twice, and you smiled back at him, giving a single nod in understanding.

“Let’s go,” he whispered, squeezing your hand encouragingly, and you followed him as quietly as you could.

You would have followed him anywhere at this point.

“A-Atsumu--!”

You did your best. You really truly gave it your all. But how could he expect you to run for as long and fast as he did? Even if you put all your energy into it, you still couldn’t keep up, your only saving grace being his hand that pulled you along. “Can’t you go faster?” he asked, pulling you by the hand roughly, so you had to set out a step to jump forward.

“I- No! No, I can’t! I need a break!”

“Come on!” he moaned, and you saw the disappointment showing on his face, making you bite your lip. He wasn’t wrong. You really couldn’t complain. He was just trying to help, and you were currently risking you both by asking for a break. By now, the village could have already noticed you being gone and started to search. You didn’t want to think about what would happen to you two if they found you.

“Humans…” you heard him grumble in front of you, tearing you out of your thoughts. Though you strained yourself to listen to the end of the sentence, you couldn’t understand it, asking, “I’m sorry?”

“I said--” With a rough tug on your hand, he made you stumble to his side, a surprised squawk escaping you. Only briefly, while you still tried to comprehend the situation, did you feel his lips fall against your temple, your eyes widening as you repeated himself.

“Humans are so pathetic.”

“W- What--” you tried to stutter, perplex by this statement, but Atsumu didn’t bother with waiting for you to comprehend what he said, quickly continuing to drag you along. However, other than you were used to from Kita by now, Atsumu had no intention of hiding his thoughts from you, speaking them out loudly without hesitations.

“You humans are so pathetic, you don’t stand a chance against us. You’re lucky that Kita liked you, and you’re pretty. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d ever considered marrying you. What good are you? Can’t run, can’t use magic, can’t fight or hunt or at least bite! Would’ve let yourself be married off without even a bit of hissing and clawing, huh?”

“That…” You felt yourself puff up in anger as his words worked through your mind. “That’s so mean!” you complained, wanting to shake your hand free, but his hold on you stayed.

“Oh, it wasn’t meant to be nice,” he assured you boldly, not decorating the fact that he knew he was insulting you.

“How dare you!” you croaked in horror. Up till now, you had found him to be so nice and caring. Where was this coming from all of a sudden, you wondered? Stemming your whole weight into the next step you did, you wanted to inconvenience him by slowing him down. Even so, Atsumu easily pulled you over the ground, your heel digging into the dirt from the polar influences of strength.

A quick, patronizing sigh fell out of his mouth before he turned around, his everlasting smile on his face. “Now, now, don’t be upset. I was merely saying the truth, alright? Look…”

Atsumu closed in the arm-length between you, and you wanted to take a precautious step back but scrambled to keep your footing on the uneven ground. Without any hesitation, he wrapped an arm around you, keeping you steady and - for you - uncomfortably close.

“I like you,” he revealed. The small peck he left on your lips was barely noticeable before it was over again. “I like you a lot even, I think.”

His free hand came up, his pointer finger landing down on the middle of your forehead. There was a creeping nervosity as you felt the fingertip slide down between your brows and to the tip of your nose while you were aware of the sharp end of each of his fingers.

“Without me, where would you be? What would become of you? You needed my help, and now you need me too. What do you think will happen to such a pathetic, fragile, powerless human like you if they find you after you run away?”

You gulped. There was more than one reason for you to do so. For the first time, it dawned on you that this man was no prince at all, in fact, and you wished you had realized that earlier, he was just as much a fox as all the others. This situation for you was very much out of the frying pan and into the fire. Staying in the village and running away was both as terrible of a decision, despite the realization only now revealing itself to you as Atsumu uncovered how he truly felt about you.

“Stay here and let them find you so you can be killed and eaten, or come with me. The choice is yours,” Atsumu whispered, bringing his face closer to yours as if he was about to kiss you again. With his breath on your face, you felt yourself beginning to shake, overwhelmed with the situation and the choices he was giving you. You never felt so close to death than when you heard about what they’d do to you, but going with him also didn’t sound as appealing anymore as it did before.

“I--” you started, but a sudden jolt went through Atsumu and, therefore, also through you as he suddenly perked up, his ears moving to high alert before you could finish. For a moment, everything around you went quiet as you held your breath. Atsumu subtly moved his head around, trying to make out sounds while he listened for them.

“Chill, ‘Tsumu,” a voice rang out from behind you, and you flinched all while Atsumu relaxed a little, looking more annoyed than happy about who was interrupting.

“‘Samu, you bastard. Did you follow us all this time?”

Finally, you caught a glimpse over your shoulder, noticing the other twin you remembered from the window earlier that night. “Nah,” he yawned, massaging the back of his neck. “Just caught up with you because you decided to stand in the middle of the territory flirtin’.”

“Damn it,” Atsumu mumbled, not really to anyone, but his gaze lowered back down to you as he thought for a moment. “They started looking for us,” he explained, and you noticeably froze up. The fear must have shown on your face, but he seemed unmoved by it. “It’s time to make a choice, Princess,” he sighed, finally pulling his arm away and letting you go.

Immediately, you spun on your heels, running back to the grey-haired fox spirit. “Please! You have to help--”

Before you could even finish your plead, you noticed the sudden strange spark in his eyes as he raised an arm in front of his face. It was too late when you realized that he wasn’t as comfortable around you as his brother, claws lashing out for your face as you came too close for comfort to him, just like with a wild animal.

Your eyes closed the second you realized you’d be hit, but nothing happened. Instead, you felt a gust of wind, followed by a hand pulling you back. “Woah there, Osamu.”

When you opened your eyelids again, you were staring at Atsumu’s back, shielding you from his brother and having caught his hand just a second too late after getting some scratches on his cheek already from the impact. However, he merely wiped the blood away with his sleeve, flinching from the pain. “You’re my brother,” Atsumu noted nonchalantly.

“But if you lay even one hand on her, I won’t hesitate to tear off your arm.”

“I want to see that,” Osamu replied, shaking out his wrist from Atsumu’s grip.

“Get back,” Atsumu hushed to you, pushing you back carefully by walking backwards, never letting go of your hand. You spared a glance over your savior’s shoulder, meeting his brother’s gaze head-on.

“Just so you know, I ain’t helping you with this,” he said, clearly talking to you. Then he turned his gaze to Atsumu, brows furrowing more in distaste. “It’s your problem.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Atsumu purred before getting serious again for a moment. “You’re not coming with us then?”

“Not happenin’.”

“... Alright then.”

Turning his back to his brother, Atsumu finally focused on you again, a never before seen frown on his face. “So what will it be? You comin’ with me, or do you want that scrub to drag you back to the village? He might eat you along the way, though.”

You felt your heart race as you looked at Atsumu for some time before glancing back at his brother Osamu. The latter didn’t seem too interested in the deals his brother was making, only waiting for your decision also. “I--” you whispered, trying to make the decision of your life. You never wanted to go back to this village, become the clan head’s wife, or even worse: Dinner. But was going with Atsumu really a good idea? If you knew anything about him now, he was far worse when it came to moodiness than Kita, and his real intentions were hidden by his smile.

But still.

Your hand reaching for his sleeve, and immediately he bloomed up, his face showing a broad grin from ear to ear as he quickly reached for your hand again. With a quick wave and glance over his shoulder, he yelled, “See ya, ‘Samu!” before dragging you off again. You gave the twin another glance too, and whatever moved you to it, bowed your head briefly before trying to follow after Atsumu. Osamu merely sighed, mumbling something about ‘always having to clean up the mess’ before turning and leaving in the opposite direction, not giving you any more seconds of his mind.

It wasn’t a decision you liked making, but in the end, your life was still more important to you than… whatever it was that Atsumu was planning. He, at least, hummed happily after you chose him, his fast pace never ceasing even when you struggled. “Will he not tell them where we are?” you asked, glancing back over your shoulder nervously, not seeing any trace of life behind you any longer.

“Why would he?” Atsumu replied, and you figured that was the end of the discussion, even though it still made you uncomfortable not knowing what was going on.

“What am I going to do from now on…” you whispered to yourself, feeling an overwhelming dread rise in your heart. The anxiety of the unknown and fear that maybe even after all that happened, you’d still be found and captured again. And what was the deal with Atsumu anyway? It was so hard to trust him again, even though it was precisely what you needed to do at that moment.

“Don’t worry!” he suddenly chimed from the front as if he read your mind, and only now did you realize his lingering gaze on you, paired with an ever-casual smile. “We’ll hide somewhere no one can find us.”

“For how long?” you asked cautiously, still hoping that it would be possible to go back into your normal life someday.

“Hm? Who knows?” Atsumu replied, laughter falling from his lips right after he said that. That didn’t give you a good feeling, but he squeezed your hand tightly and simply kept moving forward as if nothing was wrong at all.

“At least--” he laughed, the forest suddenly clearing up and revealing the great, white moon above you, once again making Atsumu seem like the beautiful being he was. However, by now, you had your doubts about it. No matter how pretty his looks were, his personality seemed to lack in many places you had yet all to uncover.

“We’ll have a lot of time to keep the promise of hugging it out, right?”

He winked at you, and as the morning began to dawn, you realized your life would never be the same.

➤ Be safe

➤ Go back to the prologue to change your fate

➤ ?

Read other routes first to unlock more fates

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theheraldsrest · 4 years

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“Inquisitor’s romanced companion (Cullen, Blackwall, or Iron Bull) finally seeing the Inquisitor come back from a long journey.” Well, someone likes big guys. Let’s give this a try. -Cabot

Blackwall

He had been carving the same spot on his piece for some time, but it didn’t seem to register. Once in a while, he glanced at the entrance of the stables, thinking he saw something but it was always just someone walking or birds flying. Each time, he’d shake his head, tell himself to calm down, and try to focus on what his hands were doing. It had been a week and a half since the Inquisitor left, accompanied by Varric, Bull, and Sera. Not the most reliable bunch but he knew they would never let the Inquisitor be harmed. He couldn’t help it. She had said they would be back soon, yet she wasn’t and had all together stopped sending messages to him. The last one he had received had contained only a few words: Thom, miss you dearly. Stormcoast is, as ever, cold and wet. On the plus side, plenty of spindleweed. As if we don’t have enough of it already. I love you. He couldn’t stop himself from re-reading this same letter, each time his focus catching on to her elegant writing over her words of endearment and his name. He was staring at it again, causing him to miss the wood he was working on had become weak, suddenly snapping. As he cursed himself, a chuckle reached his ears. “You know, if I hadn’t seen you carve the griffon saddle, I would’ve thought this was your first time working with carpentry tools.” His heart lifted as he turned to see that familiar smile and those shining eyes that he adored looking at him. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you didn’t know what soon meant.” She stepped closer to him, humming. “Two words. ‘Island’ and ‘dragon.’ I can’t control the bloody things appearing out of nowhere. Can you blame me?” It was his turn to chuckle as he pulled her into his arms. “No, I suppose not. Glad to have you back, love.” She pulled him into a kiss, Blackwall melting to her touch. The wait was definitely worth it.

Cullen

“Sir?” The commander snapped out of his thoughts, looking up from his desk to a scout standing by the door. “Yes, soldier?” He flinched at how dry his voice sounded and cleared it before saying “What is it?” “The latest reports from the spymaster, sir.” He stepped up and placed several papers onto Cullen’s desk. He picked each up, scanning them, looking for her name or even her title but nothing was found. He gave a frustrated sigh and looked them over to see if he missed something before noticing the scout was still there. “I don’t have anything new to report to her. You’re dismissed.” The scout gave a quick bow before going through the doors, leaving Cullen. Tenting his fingers together, he let his eyes unfocus as he thought. It had now been a couple of weeks since the Inquisitor left and not a single word had been sent back, not even from Leliana’s scouts. He knew he shouldn’t worry about her. She was strong, reliable, but he couldn’t help thinking the worst. Shaking his head so as to stop the idea of them being attacked by a dragon from creeping into his head, he stood up and left the room to walk along the ramparts. He stopped himself short before reaching the spot they usually spend time at and turned, instead, to look down on the grounds. He could see the troops training new recruits, the mages and healers working to restore those who were injured, something happened at the tavern as Sera jumped from the roof and ran, her cackling floating up to where he stood. Why the Inquisitor kept her around, he didn’t know. He couldn’t help his eyes falling to where he had usually spotted her when he walked about: under the trees where Cassandra sat, the spot next to the stairs where they had had there awkward chat, up to where he could see Vivienne leaning over the banister and back to the ground at the gates, where the horses were gathered, flicking their heads as their riders-wait what? He turned his gaze quickly back to the horses at the gate, their rider’s voices caring up to him. One of the riders jumped from their horse and was quickly moving to the stairs when she suddenly looked over. Even from this distance he could see that bright smile growing on her face as she waved and began making her way up the stairs. He made his way over as she finally turned on the final landing and spotted him, breaking into a run and throwing herself into his waiting arms, clinging tightly to him. He held her, the missing piece to his as he heard her muffled voice say “I missed you.” “And I, you.”

Iron Bull

The sword he wielded clang against Krem’s as he threw him off. They had been at it for a while and Bull could see the sweat dripping down the younger man’s face but Krem focused, fixed his stance and charged again. In a few moments, Bull squatted next to Krem on the ground, panting and unwilling to move. “I think that has to be the most pitiful swing I’ve ever seen from you, Kremiscius.” Krem only smiled and shot back “Yeah, well, it’s going to be pitiful against a pitiful opponent.” He opened his eyes to look up at his chief’s frozen face. Bull could only grumble but held a hand out to pull Krem up. Once back on his feet, the smaller of the men looked up at him, a calculating look on his face. Bull turned away from him and waved over his shoulder. “That’s enough for today, Krem.” “Is this about the Inquisitor, chief?” Bull froze once more and turned to look at Krem, his brow creased in concern. To Krem’s relief, Bull smiled and said “Nah, the boss can handle themselves. It be foolish to worry about them. Besides, I’m giving you the chance to take a break. Better take it before I decide we need to go over your shield bashing again.” Krem quickly left, but the smile fell from his face as soon as Krem was out of sight. Krem knew him way too well. He rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. Sure, Frostback Basin was a good two week journey, and they had only been gone for seven weeks now, but it still made him worry. There hadn’t been any word back from them, all except their last letter, stating for Bull to be jealous because they went through a tournament-like trial. But that letter came around the time he assumed they reached the Basin. No other words or notes, not even a hint to what they were doing or what happened. Bull was trying to think of every scenario, knowing that kadan would be able to find a way out of each. Still, this wasn’t something he was used to, worrying about a lover. It was different now, he was committed to them, dedicated even. It hurt to wait, wait for any sign. He could see the same thing on other’s faces as they, too, waited. He decided to take out his frustration on the dummies nearby. It wasn’t until Bull had taken a few throws at the tied-up straw did he feel eyes watching him. He turned and felt all of his worries fall away. There, walking towards him, was his inquisitor, his kadan, with a smirk on their face. Bull turned fully towards them, crossing his arms across his chest and giving a dead serious look that made them pause. After a moment, they mimicked him and gave him a serious face as well. They stood in silence for a bit before Bull said “So.” His kadan raised their eyebrows in surprise. “So? That’s it? See me come back and say ‘so?’ “ “Yeah, pretty much.” Bull turned away, continuing his fighting with the dummy, fighting back the smile growing on his face as he listened. Nothing and then careful footsteps over and then a hand on his arm. “Did I miss something? Or did I do something before leaving that I’ve forgotten about?” Bull shrugged and continued. His kadan was quiet for a few moments before saying “Are you just screwing with me?” Again, he shrugged, refusing to look at them. He didn’t expect them to slip under his arm and get in front of the dummy. Now he could see the scratches and marks of battle on their face along with a worried expression. “Bull, what’s-” They jumped as he let out a surprised laugh, picking them up. They thumped his chest, yelling “Bull, you complete arse! I thought I did something wrong!” He pulled them closer, chuckling. “You did do something wrong. One being you didn’t make sure people knew you were alive and second being you didn’t bring me along to make sure you were alive. It was funny watching you squirm.” The inquisitor thumped his chest again, but they were smiling. “Next time I go to some Maker forsaken jungle with low hanging branches and trees, I’ll bring you along with me to fight the giant spiders and darkspawn. Sound like a plan?” Bull laughed, “No.”

There, enjoy. Have some burly men loving you. -Cabot

#dai #dragon age inquisition #inquisitor #iron bull #cullen rutherford #blackwall #thom rainier

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