#the reasons? want a laff

[fortjester]

tumblr search function betrays me again. anyone know where that disco elysium comic of Harry accidentally reading gay porn magazines at a crime scene is?

[byrdstrolls]

you literally said you did it for followers

the no longer active fantroll blogs from two years ago that welcomed me when I first joined the community are also my lovers and friends

[heartyearning]

the way i live my life is LIDORALLY just like doing whatever’s gonna make my friends have a laff. have a good chuckle. no matter how stupid the thing is or how silly it’s gonna make me look to other ppl if it makes them do a little snort come hell or high water i will do that thing

[1o1percentmilk]

HELLO.... I JUST GOT AN ASK CALLING ME THE N WORD 200 SOMETHING TIMES.........

[penisliker-moved]

but like they literally. ok so betty ws like "vacuum up front whilei check your rooms" do im like oh ok like the rug jn the entrance zone. bc rheres like the double sliding doors ykwim. so im getting the vacuum and rhen Fucking stacy is like Make sure you get everything all the floors and carpets and gestured at the entire lobby. and im like ... ok? but she put so much emphasis on Everything so i go to like. the halls and start vacuuming the carpet right. and she starts bitching like Just over here 🙄 and its like GIRL YOU FUCKING SAID EVERYTHING !!! and then im fugking doing it and her and betty repeatedly say "MAKE SURE YOU GET THE CARPETS!!!!" like yeah dumbfucks of course im gonna get the fucking carpets im goddamn vacuuming. yr making me vacuum hardwood acting like my first instinct wouldnt be to vacuum the carpets. and then at on3 point i unplugged the vacuum bc th cord ws too short and Clearly started walking to the other side of the room where theres another outlet to plug it in and stacy whos just sitting on her ass in the cafeteria goes "YOU DIDNT GET THE CARPET 😡" LIJE . GIRL I COULDNT FUCKING GET TO THE CARPET I AM CLEARLY GETTING TO THE FUCKING CARPET. and then i finally fucking fjnish it and some dickhead fucking guest goes You missed a spot teehee thinking hes so funny. and i just ignored him bc shut the fuck up you annoying dick and stacy goes Did you miss a spot 🤔 like . im going to snap one of these days

[eddiegettingshot]

if you feel so inclined PLEASE report back from the field (buddie Reddit). I need a laff and/or hater fuel.

literally just the same stuff i always disagree with LMAO

SOOOOO much “eddie needs to choose and buck needs to be chosen” literally every time i realize this is something people earnestly believe it’s jarring to me even though i understand the logic in a way i just disagree with it sooooo deeply it makes me sigh and roll my eyes but it’s even worse when it’s “buck needs to feel wanted” HE IS WANTED!!! it’s just the people who want him aren’t right for him and he has abandonment issues - this is happening in his head it’s not something eddie can fix by saying i love you!!! buck was unable to comprehend eddie wanting him as a FRIEND!!!

SO SO SO much “eddie needs therapy/needs to figure himself out” which i already hated on yesterday but i think it’s soooo interesting that nobody ever says BUCK needs to figure himself out, at least not anymore, even though the crux of our collective view on 7x04-05 is that he literally has nothing figured out. like ummm you’d think that there’s a reason why buck is fundamentally unable to understand his own feelings (he has PROBLEMS AND ISSUES!!).

SOOOOOOOOO much of the chris narrative i was also talking about that i hate where chris is sooo mad at eddie because he thinks eddie will fuck everything up. and it’s like. no offense but eddie did not even visibly fuck anything up with ana. he just. broke up with her as far as chris knew! and i am actually certain that despite being angry chris is capable of understanding what happened with marisol and seeing it as an aberration. the issue there was SHANNON!!

“buck wouldn’t drop buckley because that’s what buck is derived from” well this one i just disagree with and find silly.

[wispstalk]

that my hearthfire metal-hoarding post got some moderate play is giving me hope bc I want to write economics so bad sooooo so bad and I've largely held back bc I know most people find the topic boring or impenetrable. but holy fuck skyrim's economics are the funniest thing in the world to me. It makes sense it's a single player game you are the only one really doing any "transactions" but think about it even medium-hard and you realize you have that whole province in your pocket by like. Level ten. During a war. And nobody has shit to say about it just have fun and be yourself and corner any market you want. Or all of them, even. Add a little hyperbole for the laffs and this is supervillain shit, implausible even in our capitalist hellscape. I cannot and will not resist.

That's a big reason I loved the Masquerade series if I see a work of speculative fiction throwing around terms like "put options" I get so excited. It is not explored enough in the genre and I think if it were, people would find the subject less intimidating. People fall over themselves to praise Brandon Sanderson's worldbuilding but like.....stormlight archive? Your currency is CLIMATE-ACTIVATED MAGIC FUEL? Does anyone care about this but me????? Excuse me Elder Brandon but I'm gonna need you to back up and say more right now.

[myrfing]

you ever think about how sharlayan randos generally thought of the wol as “some savage adventurer” laff. made extra interesting by the fact it’s a group of their doctorates who essentially raised the wol to that position. in my opinion they should have leaned into it harder and had them treat the wol like their pet to draw some interesting parallels with how garleans viewed the wol but whaetever they for some reason wanted sharlayan to be seen as good and exceptionally well intentioned even running contrary to previously established lore/completely kicking the bibliothec faction into vague background obscurity/a single sidequest with their mention despite sharlayan’s policies obviously reflecting their mode of operation the most

[dingodad]

I have been thinking about you saying of course Karkat the misogynist would say of troll society "We don't think about or care about genders on Alternia and making me think about that is culturally insensitive" but then oh geez everyone just believed that. and im having a laff. Because I remember being a teenager going like "Hm...karkat's attitude toward terezi and the general narrative weight around kanaya's lesbianism plus eridan's deal with feferi would imply similar gendered oppressions as real life. but trolls don't have those problems...weird!"

and then just stayed confused about it forever. like maybe the contradictions just meant karkat lied. i just didn't think he would do that.

disclaimer: i'm not sure i've ever expressed this exact sentiment? so it's possible you're thinking of someone else and i don't want to take full credit if that's the case LOL. but karkat's misogyny and the way things on alternia are never as benign as they have been painted by readers in retrospect are certainly themes i have frequently and recently touched upon.

to that effect, though, unless there's something i'm majorly forgetting, my position is moreso that i don't think karkat DOES ever imply trolls don't care about gender? certainly it's from karkat's mouth that we get the most vivid image of how unfriendly alternia really is to girls. and yeah, he gives us the "HOW IS THAT [HOMOSEXUALITY] EVEN A THING?" which was presumably the kernel of the idea that led to trolls "reproducing bisexually", but the way i see it "trolls are bisexual and therefore don't care about gender AT ALL" was only ever wishful elaboration on the part of a vocal and influential minority of readers.

i think it's good that you bring up how you never considered that karkat could be lying, because i think the fact that we go into a story assuming that characters will tell us the truth - or rather, more importantly, that what they say will have some meaning to us - is a convention that homestuck dedicates a lot of thought to. that's the whole reason scratch has his arbitrary "i don't lie" rule. so i think you or any reader are totally justified in hesitating to believe karkat would just lie to you! and i think the key here is that "lying", per se, is not really a tool in karkat's repertoire. being deeply misled and chronically biased, on the other hand, definitely are. and once we dispense of this misconception that karkat must necessarily be a "nice guy" (and the planet he's from must necessarily be a "nice world" in some way, no matter how desperately small) it becomes a lot easier to read this bias for what it is, which is not necessarily truth, not necessarily lies, but necessarily informative about the world he lives in. bc that's what a story about stories is really talking about, right, not whether someone is telling the "truth" but whether they are peddling a "narrative"

[seraphtrevs]

Roman Roy is not sympathetic to fascists. He's not just the child of a fascist. HE IS A FASCIST. He isn't supporting Mencken only for business reasons. He wants Mencken to be president because he supports fascism and is excited to have a fascist president. He has repeatedly shown his support for fascism throughout the series. He's the alt right guy who will say he's just "joking" about fascism, just being ironic for the laffs. But he is, in fact, very serious and very fascist.

[squadrah]

your first impressions of la squadra vs your thoughts now?

I first saw them in the anime, so these are based on that!

Risotto:

"Congratulations on being so big and managing a Grim Reaper aesthetic out of a jester's hat and prison stripe pants, what is with your eyes though."

VS.

"I wish he had gotten his backstory animated as a bonus because I feel like it would have added so much to his arc and character to make it explicit. As ruthless as he can be once he makes up his mind, I like him more for those little flecks of humanity shining through."

Formaggio:

"That has to be the ugliest color scheme they could have gone with, but he seems fun."

VS.

"He was robbed, he was slandered and he was robbed when he has one of the best abilities out there that I would want in real life, he's just a little guy, just a little birthday boy and he needs to be appreciated more."

Prosciutto:

"TATTSUN?! This guy must be really popular to get voiced by Tattsun."

VS.

"The reason he was voiced by Tattsun is because he's literally the best and he's my forever fave and a major driving force behind me writing for fandom at all, and I love him and his Stand and his everything and I will defend him to the death."

Pesci:

"I am intrigued by your shapes and your Stand."

VS.

"He is a good boy and I wish we got to spend more time with him because it is so cool to me that one of his Stand's quirks mirror's the protagonist (damage reflection). Like, this is meaningful to me and I deeply respect his potential."

Ghiaccio:

"I know this was wishful thinking but damn, I wish you were voiced by Yoshino Hiroyuki. Your Stand is amazing though!"

VS.

"He was really great to watch and I was so sad he died because he was yet another minor antagonist showing amazing integrity and spirit and I love his Stand aesthetic and I'm so glad he gets amazing fanart of it, he is extremely valid."

Melone:

"He's a walking talking aesthetic. A computer Stand, too... oh fuck, oh god no."

VS.

"Still mad about some choices made by Araki and DavePro, because I have since embraced him as such an interesting character with oodles of potential and great to meme. He deserved better than what he got, as did his fans."

Illuso:

"What a smug bastard. Very cool Stand."

VS.

"What a smug bastard with a bajillion implied issues, he is such deliciously rotten candy, he's an asshole but he's our asshole, he's literally so much fun while being such a terrible person honestly, life would not be the same without him."

Sorbet:

"That widow's peak... Very boring fashion though."

VS.

"This is a goth drag queen who was mercilessly culled before his time because he wanted cash in this shit mafia economy for his dream goth wedding. I want him to have everything that the shounen genre was too afraid to give him."

Gelato:

"There is a very uniquely naughty vibe here. Very boring fashion though."

VS.

"He is the naughtiest little devil in this hell house, he is the personification of the >:3c emoji, everyone loves him and is simultaneously afraid he's gonna set the house on fire just for a laff. Adorable."

[princess-of-the-corner]

Toontown: Rewritten Recap: January 2003 (Cattlelog)

January 25, 2003

Sir Max had a very important announcement to make: Clarabelle Cow has officially opened her business!

Kinda.

She’s sent everyone free sample packages, including phones that can be used to call her to order MORE furniture. The phones can’t be used to call anyone else, though, only her.

That said, serving 300 customers is, understandably, very hard. Thus, Clarabelle Cow had the Toon Troopers (such as Sir Max, who reported this event) boxing and delivering the goods themselves.

Also, sending out all the “sampler packages” wore out the Toon Troop so much that they genuinely did NOT have the energy to open the Cattlelog for business. So the Toons are going to have to be happy with the starter set for now.

Also, for some reason, moving the furniture crashed the game.

January 26, 2003

LL-Terminal43 made an emergency monitor broadcast, and the 26th manifested as an anomaly that made it broadcast as an encrypted blog post.

Decrypting it reveals what it was broadcasting.

Flippy and Sir Max visited Doctor Surlee’s lab, with Flippy wanting to find Surlee’s blueprints on laff.

Why?

Slappy had 42 laff, the highest laff of any Toon at the time, while Flippy only had 38. Flippy was worried that Slappy’s higher laff might make him more appealing to the voters, and thus sought to find a way to make his own Laff higher. They found the Laff Meter blueprint, and Flippy copied it. That, however, set off Doctor Surlee’s Security System, getting locked in his lab in the process.

They were not going ANYWHERE until Surlee came to let them out.

Also, click here for a decrypted version of the blueprint they found.

January 27, 2003

Sir Max created an inescapable maze of furniture inside his house to trap the other Toon Troopers.

He also explained that he had gotten stuck while doing a Task with Flippy, which is why there hadn’t been any news yesterday.

Also, furniture can be moved now, thanks to the Toon Troops and Clarabelle visiting everyone’s houses and cleaning up all of the glue that had been spilled all over the furniture while they were unpacking it. Not sure how they didn’t notice that, but it does mean that toons can FINALLY personalize their estates! It only came at the cost of delaying the grand opening of Clarabelle’s Cattlelog again, but as everyone’s furniture was glued to the floor, this is probably for the best.

Also, Sir Max didn’t put an exit in his maze. The other Toon Troopers were genuinely trapped with no way out. He closed off the blog post as he left to feed them again.

January 28, 2003

The servers hosting Toontown rewritten had some technical issues, temporarily taking the game offline and causing a blackout in the world of Toontown.

Thankfully, being cartoon characters, Sir Max and friends’ eyes glowed in the dark, so they weren’t COMPLETELY blind in there.

January 29, 2003

The Toon Troop tried to send out everyone’s Cattlelog shipments, but had to deal with a sudden bug infestation.

Sir Max, in particular, would deny freaking out at the sight of the bugs, even if he was very clearly freaking out.

Perhaps some bugfixes would help.

January 30, 2003

Fat McStink announced his annual fan-favorite event: Improvaganza! He was then alerted to the fact that the venue he rented out was closed due to health code violations involving bad pies.

He then decides to go with his back-up plan: Hosting the event at his house! All his friends can come over and have some fun!!!

Y’know, for the first time in five years.

As soon as he left to find the others, Sir Max came out of hiding to let the players know that the Toon Troop had chosen to lay low and mentally prepare for a couple of days, given how the Improvaganza tends to be quite the ordeal.

(Also, Fat McStink apparently ruined the update by putting it in the wash. Don’t ask how that works.)

January 31, 2003

Sir Max posted a message in morse code, explaining that he had gone into hiding to avoid the Improvaganza. It was just too cheesy to endure.

Also, more words were added to the whitelist.

-

I love how they add the fuckups to the lore. Like ‘oh moving furniture crashes the game? Uh.... actually we spilled glue!’ and the wordplay on ‘infested with bugs’

[imjssmthig]

HIGH SCHOOL AU:

Jefferson’s leg injury bc for a hs AU i always imagine it like this and thank goodness someone recommended this on a diff app so thank you “anonymous”-

The pitcher was getting ready, it was just a practice between the two different teams, no one knows why but there were two baseball teams for one school. it was probably because Considering this was a private school it was abnormal big.

Jefferson was batter. Lauren’s was pitcher, for the other team. their teams were oddly split up.

the opposing team- made up of an odd pairing. Hamilton, Lauren’s (obviously they tried out together), Laff, Reynolds, George III and four other kids in the grades below them that Thomas didn’t care much for.

His team was made up by, thankfully, a mostly his friends, Madison, herc oddly enough but he wasn’t complaining cause they got along, burr, Samuel, and some kid in junior year named lee he knew of, then again four more juniors he didn’t care much for.

Not that he didn’t care for the juniors, he either just intimated them? or found it hard to talk to them.

once the pitcher was ready he got ready, and swung. and the. he ran to second base before 3rd base, hamilton, caught the ball.

damn it.

he didn’t want to run up to third base now, everytime he did hamilton would try to throw him off. given he did do the same exact thing to hamilton so he can’t be complaining but he just hates that kid with his whole heart. Burr hit the ball and ran to first, leaving jefferson to run to third.

damn it.

“hey thomas”

“don’t you even dare hamilton” jefferson yelled running up to the plate.

as he slid to third base, hamilton attempted to throw him off by moving his foot to catch him. Thomas slide was so clean, something hamilton always despised. how good jefferson was at sports. He did several sports, baseball, basketball, and lacrosse. somehow none of the schedules ever really interacted, despite some sports starting earlier than they should. All of a sudden, hamilton moved his leg a little too aggressively, causing a loud scream out of jefferson.

“DAMN IT” he said as he stayed on the ground.

“…oh my God”

“damn it hamilton. oh my..”

“what’s wrong?”

“my leg hurts so damn bad”

*WHISTLE*

they heard coach washington call a hold to the game.

thomas shut his eyes, he could hear the sand on the field rustling with his coach coming closer.

“are you ok son?” he said concerned.

thomas didn’t reply.

“son”

“my leg hurts so bad. and my head but that’s..” he paused taking a small breath “that’s kind of whatever” he said breathily

“alright im going to have to call your mother to come and-“

“she’s on a work trip”

“so i’ll call your father”

“can you call one of my siblings or something?”

“i’m sorry?”

“i have 9 siblings. im one of the youngest can’t you just call one of them”

hamilton walked up to his friends and started to talk to them.

“i feel horrible” he started

“i can tell” laff said.

no one’s eyes moved from the third base, but they all had backed up to give the two guys space. Eliza, Angelica, Peggy, Mariah, Martha skelton, and dolley were all on the bleachers, though Martha was inching closer to the edge of them by the second.

“he has 9 siblings. damn” lauren’s said

“no wonder he’s so annoying he’s the damn youngest” herc whispered to lauren’s

“he said he was one of the youngest”

“so he’s a middle?”

“can we even call it that? if he’s not literally the middle” laff said.

“whatever.” herc said.

“son im going to have to call your father”

“can you call my brother? or sister. please”

“no. that’s that im sorry. i would if i could but due to legal reasons i have to call your guardian thomas”

“fine.”

“i’m also calling an ambulance”

“..o..k”

PART TWO COMING SOON🙏🏻🙏🏻

[kimjeonej]

A Murderous Performance (Foolish Crew Band Au pt1)

Amidst the vibrant colours and loud music of a packed concert venue, the four singers—Socksfor1, Tbhhonest, Laffengas, and Joocie—were preparing to perform their latest album, titled ‘Fooling Around’. The venue was bustling with activity, from security guards pacing the aisles to fans eagerly waiting for the show to begin. As the band took the stage, the energy in the room was palpable. With each passing moment, the crowd grew more and more excited, eager to see the four performers in action. For the four of them, this was just another night on the road, but they knew that every performance mattered.

But as they launched into their first song, something felt off. The stage lights seemed to pulsate with sinister energy, and the crowd's cheers turned into murmurs of concern. Socks noticed Tbh's microphone cutting out mid-song, and as he reached over to adjust it, he felt a sudden jolt of pain shoot through her body. The next thing He knew, He was lying on the stage, blood surrounding his stomach as he stared up at the shocked faces of his bandmates. As Socks struggled to comprehend what had just happened, he heard Joocie's voice announcing the news to the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that due to unforeseen circumstances, we will have to cancel the concert," he said, his voice shaking with emotion.

Suddenly, the sound of sirens filled the venue as police officers burst in, sirens blaring. They quickly cordoned off the area around the stage, sealing off any potential exits, as they launched a full-scale investigation. With the concert cancelled and the audience dismissed, the remaining members of the band were left to grapple with the shocking reality of what had just happened. Laff was the first to speak up, his voice shaking with fear. "Who could have done this? Why would anyone want to hurt him?"

As the investigation continued, the other three soon discovered that they were not the only ones targeted. In the chaos of the concert, they learned that some of the guards were also killed during the process of trying to kill Socks. As the gravity of the situation set in, the remaining band members realised that they were at the center of a murder. Fear and desperation began to grip their hearts, and they desperately tried to figure out who could have possibly done such a thing.

As they sat in silence, an unexpected knock at the door interrupted their quiet contemplation. It was the local detective, Blazerious, who had been assigned to the case. He offered his condolences for their loss before getting straight to the point. "We believe that this was a targeted attack," he said, his voice laced with emotion. "Someone wanted to silence you three for a very specific reason. Do you have any idea who would have wanted to hurt you guys?"

The band members looked at each other, each searching for an answer. A tense silence hovered over the room as they struggled to form a coherent thought. Suddenly, Joocie's eyes flew open, as if a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. "I think I might know!" He exclaimed, barely able to contain his excitement. "I remember hearing one of the security guards talking about a fan who had been behaving oddly at the concert. They said the person was acting nervous and kept following us around."

The detective's eyebrows shot up in interest. "Do you remember what this fan looked like?" Joocie shook her head. "Unfortunately not; no one was sure who they were.". The detective nodded, seeming to sense that they might finally be on the right track. "We'll get right on that, Joocie. In the meantime, I suggest that you all lay low and stay safe. This case is now our top priority, and we'll do everything we can to bring the killer to justice.". With that, the detective said his goodbyes and exited the room, leaving the band members to ponder their newfound information. They realised that they had a long road ahead of them, but they were determined to see this through. After all, they had their fallen friend to honour and justice to seek.

The crew tried to solve this case by themselves, while Detective Blazerious helped by giving them clues that his team found and by also doing his research. They couldn't fathom that anyone could have such a personal vendetta against them. "We need to be careful," said Laff. "Whoever did this clearly has it out for us. We should stay together and try not to go anywhere alone." The other two nodded in agreement. They all knew that they needed to be on high alert. It was a frightening reality, but one that was necessary.

As the weeks passed, the tension only grew thicker. The band members constantly felt like they were being watched, and they were jumpy at the slightest sound. They had all but shut themselves in their hotel rooms, terrified to leave for fear of being attacked again. But their nightmare was far from over. One night, as they were all fast asleep, they were suddenly woken by the sound of glass shattering. They bolted out of their beds, their hearts pounding in their chests. Tbh walked out of his room and saw the other two outside. “You guys heard that too?” His friends nodded, looking in the direction of the sound.

As they made their way towards the source of the noise, they were horrified to find that their hotel room had been broken into. The window was shattered, and their belongings were scattered all over the floor. In a state of panic, they quickly searched the room for signs of the intruder but found nothing. They couldn't help but wonder if this was the work of the same person who had previously targeted them.

Their fears were confirmed when the police arrived on the scene and informed them that the break-in was likely connected to the previous murders. They explained that the intruder had left behind some markings that only a killer would recognize. The band members were horrified. They knew that they were running out of time and that they needed to find the killer before it was too late. After the police left, the crew decided to stay up at night to continue their research and try to solve the mystery. They scoured the internet for any information on the murders and reached out to their fans to see if anyone had any information.

Despite their best efforts, they were no closer to finding the killer. The weeks turned into months, and the band members began to lose hope. They were exhausted and felt like they were chasing a ghost. “It’s really no use, isn’t it?” Laff complained, putting his head on the table that had all of the research papers. “We can’t give up yet; we have to find out who killed Socks…” Joocie tried to persuade his friend. Tbh was busy making some coffee for himself and his friends, so they could stay up late yet another night. “I swear, once we find whoever did this, I’ll burn their entire collection of whatever they like." Tbh mumbled to himself, Joocie and Laff were slightly concerned about the sentence but decided to let it slide.

“I’m starting to think that Blazerious isn’t even doing his detective work; he’s a known detective for being the best, solving crimes, and finding murderers. Yet it's been 2 months, and he hasn’t said a thing to us.” Joocie claimed, but he hoped that his suspicions were false. Laff sighed, “Alright guys, we have to get back to work…”. They kept staying up for several more nights, hoping one day they’d find the killer.

But then, one fateful day, they received a strange package in the mail. Inside was a cryptic note, warning them that the killer was still alive and watching their every move. The band members felt their hearts pounding. The band members held their breath, their eyes glued to the note in front of them. They had spent months searching for any sign of the killer, and this was the first real lead they had.

The note itself was short and to the point, simply telling them that the killer was still out there and that they were monitoring every move. The last line of the note, however, shocked them to their core. It read, "And remember, not everyone you trust is someone you should trust."

The band members couldn't believe what they were reading. They looked at each other, their hearts heavy with the weight of the situation. They began to question everything they knew. Who among them was the killer? And how had they managed to keep it a secret for so long? They sat in silence for what felt like hours, each lost in their thoughts. Finally, Tbh spoke up. "I'm hoping they didn’t mean it was one of us, because I wouldn’t be able to face it if it were one of you guys all along…” He says, his breathing is unstable and his hands are covering his face. Joocie placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed, "I... promise you, it would never be one of us…” Joocie looked at Laff. Laff nodded, not wanting to put any more pressure on the youngest. Joocie then pulled Tbh into a hug and placed his hand-covered face on his chest. “Hey, I promise, we’ll find whoever killed Socks. But for now, let’s go home, okay?”

Laff nodded in agreement. They knew that they needed to trust one another to find the killer, but it was slightly hard for Tbh. They spent the next few days locked in their hotel room, desperately searching for clues or any signs of the killer among the security guards, managers, stylists, and other staff. But no matter how hard they looked, they couldn't find anything that stood out. As they sat in silence, their nerves on edge, they felt a knock at their door. They exchanged nervous glances before cautiously making their way to the door.

As they opened it, they were met with a group of police officers and detectives, led by the local chief of police himself. The officers looked grave, and the band members knew something was seriously wrong. They opened the door to their dorm widely, letting Detective Blazerious enter their dorm with the chief officer. The chief stepped forward, his voice steady but firm. "We've had a breakthrough in the case," he announced. "We've determined that one of your staff is the killer, who placed a cyanide poison on Socks’s drink, causing him to die right away.”

The band members felt their hearts sink. They had known this was a possibility, but hearing the confirmation still hurt them deeply. "Who is it?” Laff asked, deeply worried about who it was. The chief took a deep breath before answering. "I'm sorry to say, but the killer is unfortunately—” He was cut off by the sound of a gunshot. The crew heard it too and looked back at the chief, only to realise he was the one who got shot.

The chief’s body dropped dead on the floor; around his waist, it was covered in blood. The three looked at the detective for a complete answer, but they noticed even he was shot. They thought the same thing and ran away from the area. As they ran, they saw that almost all of the police officers were also shot, leading them to run too. They ran as far as they could from the dorm, not wanting to be found by the killer. They stopped at a cafe where they always hung out, wanting to take a break before continuing. They got a place to sit and just sat there for a few moments until Tbh decided to break the silence. “We can’t just stay here! All of our research is back at our dorm! If we leave it there, what if the killer destroys all of it?!” He shouted.

Joocie and Laff looked at each other before Joocie answered as he side-hugged the younger one, “Hey, it’s not that we don’t want to go back. It’s just that... you saw what happened there; if we go back, who knows if we'll be next?". Laff agreed, “Listen, we’ll go back to our dorm tomorrow, but for tonight, let’s just stay in a hotel and hope that the killer doesn’t know where we are.”. Tbh sighed, looking down. He pulled his legs up on the chair and hugged his knees, wanting to cry. “I’m tired of this... I just want to go back to performing for the fans, I just want to go back to living a normal life…” He complains, burying his face between his knees.

Joocie rubbed his friend’s back, trying to comfort him. “We’ll get back to that life, alright? But for now, let’s just lay low until we’ve discovered who the killer is.” Laff says, he pulled out his phone from his pocket and tried to find a nearby hotel where they could stay for the night. They had to stop being artists until the case was solved, but for now, laying low would be the best option for them.

[walshball]

Fuck it Jan transfer window predictions

I know fuck all but neither do you, so let's have a look at how I think this wondow will shake out for us

OUT

Lina Hurtig- She's good but can't seem to stay firt for more than 10 seconds, with our squad as full as it can get she really needs to go somewhere else to recover/ build her game back up

Gio- Can this loan malarkey please reslove itself jesus christ.

Noelle Maritz- lacklustre performances, part of the reason our defence has been so shaky. If Emily Fox is coming to us Noelle can scarper.

Kuhl- get her on loan somewhere. Not much reasoning behind it, mostly just want the space.

Jen Beattie- Big Jennie Beattie I love you so so dearly but your time has come. Go to the big Championship side in the sky. Or retirement idk.

IN

Emily Fox- it's basically sewn up right? Thank fuck, a fullback. Can we have one more just as a treat Jonas? Of course not, forget I asked.

A GK that isn't Earps- this entire fucking saga does my head in, but I truly don't think Mary will come to us this window. I can see us trying to get her on a free in the summer if PSG don't tempt her, which I doubt they will. Yes they can pay the big bucks, but there's also fuck all media hype around it compared to the mighty Barclay's. Mary, I love you, take the paycut and come to London Colney for laffs. Anyway, I can see us getting somebody else in short term.

IT WOULD BE FUNNY

Lucy Bronze- I'd drink myself into a coma but it would be absolute bants for the meltdowns. Go on Bronzey you've got YEARS left in that knee.

Lauren Hemp- My kingdom for a clinical goalscorer, fit and healthy, 23, absolute baller. This is going in the funny section because Jonas doesn't actually let us have nice things.

Jordan Nobbs- RETURN OF THE QUEEN. ABSOLUTE SCENES. SHE PLAYS A SINGLE GAME, TAKES A KNOCK, GONE AGAIN. RIDE ETERNAL ON THE FURY ROAD JORDAN I WANT TO SEE IT ONE LAST TIME.

[felixstudios]

Infodump about Felix

Appearance rambles:

Even though he's covered in enby pride flags, Felix as a character isn't enby. I'm just projecting my pride onto his design since he's one of my main fursonas + he looks amazing in it

The pride flag on his backpack comes from a content pack someone named Trick made for me a long time ago. I asked for the texture to be changed and said surprise me, and that's what I got. I've kept it as his canon design since.

That also inspired me to add more enby flags to his design, which were added in with content packs {except the one on his shorts}.

The shirt and shorts are the ones they are 80% because I literally didn't know what else to wear and 20% because I actually thought it looked cool. Actually, that's... a lot of his outfit.

I got the shoes during ToonFest 2023 when all the previous codes became public. They look terrible on him and do not fit his color palette or aesthetic. I love them <3

He used to be a tall Toon, but I wanted to look closer in appearance to someone else's Toon so I changed him to a medium height Toon. He also used to be completely orange, but I gave him coral legs because I thought it was something I was obligated to do for being high laff because I saw all the high laff Toons with different colored legs. Past me, sweetie, those were elitists... but it's okay because now I love the coral legs and don't think they're an abomination!

Basically, he's very much thrown together from outside influences and I wouldn't change it for anything now because it became his "brand"

OC lore rambles:

So once upon a time a Toon named Ghostly Felix glitched so bad that his immersion in the world was completely broken and he realized he was in a video game. This was exciting at first and he hacked in max everything, cheated to be invisible so he could hilariously kill bosses with just bike horns or something, ETC.

But after a few years he got bored and basically started pondering his existence. So he created a Toon named Felix so he could be invisible and watch him complete the game so he'd have something to do. When just Felix was boring, he made Cap'n Felix, Doctor Felix, Mr. Felix, Judge Felix, Midnight Felix, Spooky Felix, Frozen Felix, Lucky Felix, Fairy Felix, Prince Felix... you get the idea.

Well, on the day Felix reached 140 laff he found Ghostly Felix by a weird glitch. At first Felix thought he was a new Felixverse addition, but realized that Ghostly Felix already had 140 laff and was acting really scared for some reason. Finally, Ghostly Felix spilled the beans about the fact it was a game and how he created the Felixverse

Felix was horrified to find out he was right, and he instantly got pretty bummed out and asked what the point of his existence is.

Eventually, this was his answer: "To have fun. You don't need to spend so long thinking about it or making it complicated- it really is that simple."

Other rambles:

His name is Felix because when I first played TTR, I tried to name him Shaun because that was my name at the time. It was instantly denied, so naive me thought "too many Toons must have that name already" and picked a random pick-a-name. I didn't expect to really get attached to my Toon or particularly care about him, which is also why he's such an obnoxious orange instead of literally any color I actually liked at the time. Well, orange is now my second favorite color because of him and I wouldn't change his appearance for the world.

He's not based off of a TTO Toon. I only remember one Toon I made in TTO, which was a red rabbit named Raboon {"rabbit" + "toon"}. I've already remade Raboon in TTR on a different Toon slot, but I didn't want to be a rabbit in TTR when I was first starting, I wanted to be a cat! So that's why I made a new Toon.

Originally when my Felixverse lore was much more resembling a kid's cartoon {yes the entire old lore that I told literally nobody was retconned lol}, he had a love interest Toon named Felixia. She was an orange cat who, like older cartoons, was basically supposed to be a copy/paste of him except feminine and cutesy. I do not have any Toons named Felixia in any of my TTR or TTCC accounts, but when I used to play Toontown Offline I did make her an unreasonably overpowered SOS Toon who would use marbles that did 200 damage.

Felix's name is actually pronounced in German, meaning that it's pronounced kinda like fae-lix rather than how most people pronounce it to me, which is fee-lix.

Speaking of his name, if it wasn't evident enough already, he was Felix before I was Felix. He basically became my identity online over time.