#the real trucking dad

[justalitlecreacher]

Post-Shawn takes a shot in the Dark idea where someone asks Shawn how he got out of the trunk the first time and Shawn casually explains that at the ripe old age of eleven, Henry taught him how to break out of a car trunk by locking him in one

Like there are three options for how this scene plays out

Shawn spouts some bs about the spirits helping him

Shawn tells the truth and no one believes him b/c they know Henry can be intense at times, but surely he knows where to draw the line

Shawn tells the truth and everyone believes him/ suddenly realizes why he is like *that*

[virtute-praeditum]

"For those who have been curious about my absence outside of important matters for months, I'm happy to reveal that my time was spent learning and practicing a custom-commissioned instrument from Earth, made for my size. I did not want to share openly until I was satisfied with my capabilities."

He did not mind a little silliness in his own reputation, but he didn't want to embarrass his companions and adopted, or, more importantly, create a new topic for them to get themselves provoked into confrontations over a mere personal pursuit.

Without another word, he revealed a bass guitar from seemingly thin air behind him. Besides the size, its human designer clearly put artistic care into incorporating Cybertronian elements to match him, even bright blue strings akin to his optics. And then, he begins to play...

[theoldaeroplane]

(pawing through the Hallmark cards) (muttering) where's the "i scored over my dr's diagnostic criteria for PTSD" section?

[monty-glasses-roxy]

For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???

CAUSE I JUST DID

[vamptastic]

really truly mens fashion rn is just national park youve never been to tshirt band you don't listen to tshirt tshirt with the joker on it tshirt with naruto and japanese text that is probably just the characters name or like a takeout menu on it tshirt that says like "im a PROUD ASSHOLE and i LOVE COPS" or button ups in 5 different muted colors. and pants that fuck hard but do not fit if you don't have an ass flat enough for somebody to put a sheet of paper on and use as a clipboard in a pinch.

[rotzaprachim]

one thing i’ve thought for a long time is that while i liked the idea of mal and alina running the orphanage it wasn’t something i really bought for either of their characters as an immediate sort of thing, alina especially. (mal being sturmhond now IS in fact about my favorite thing ever.) 

 but the character who i absolutely DO think would find his calling being Dad to a bunch of war orphans and abandoned children? Matthias Helvar. it’s one of the most interesting possible Matthias Lived fallouts to me. like, he absolutely needs a Lot of time to deprogram first and negotiate his own relationship with the world and his religion and relationship with violence, but matthias being a bunch of lil grisha kiddos lame awkward dad hits the sweet spot of being 

a) hilarious 

b) something wildly needed canonically in-universe - whose gonna take care of the grisha kids born into fjerdan culture or their war orphans without the existing requirement that all grisha kids assimilate entirely into ravkan culture and religion and join their army 

c) matthias’s nurturing side is one of the most interesting aspects of his character 

d) something that really engages with his story in terms of the fact that! he was shot by someone younger than him. his story is about failing to break the cycles of white male goyische military-nationalist violence, so a good HEA for him is one where he doesn’t just get to live but gets to address those root causes in the first place! and given that jarl brum was HIS terrible foster father and the root of a lot his problems and expressions of violence, walking back to that place and doing better, breaking the cycle, is so important 

[one-winged-dreams]

Heeeere comes another parental holiday

truama dump in tags

[casiavium]

The face of a lesbian who was just told she's not allowed to drive the U-Haul

[okcoolthanks]

Two rats having lunch

Two rats having lunch

The vermin

The vermin

Enthusiastically munch!

TWO RATS

ON THE GROUND

EATIN FOOD

GRILLED CHEESE AND

TOMATO SOUP

[virtute-praeditum]

[ ftf is shutting down this year. the very last mission (I assume) features op and the player standing alone to ensure everyone else escapes (bot, con, and neutral alike)

needless to say, I am upset. optimus if you dont stop martyring i swear-

[deadrocks]

I find Fearne saying that Ollie, who raised her for the first idk 6 or 8 years of her life, then spent 6 years working to protect her from the red moon, was her stepdad for "a brief moment in time" a real bummer! Just sucks! Especially considering the fact that he wasn't able to be around to be her father more was because Ira kept manipulating his and Birdie's memories and Nana Morri kept Fearne in a pocket of time where she experienced ninety years passing in the Fey Realm when six had passed on Exandria.

[martyrbat]

oh tracy chapman we're really in it now....

[mara-and-its-the-same]

you ever get drafted for the school play a week before it goes on and you cant say no because all the important people in it are your best friends that have been doing it since freshman year and your girlfriend is literally the lead and there's a current freshman like seriously ill out of nowhere so there's definitely no way to say no

and then you're absolutely blindsided by the fact that you'll have to be at school for 12-13 hours all 5 days

[aphelionwrotes11]

(MDNI 18+) (unedited)

Trucker!simon x reader (afab)

CW: smut, unprotected PiV penetration, dubcon (slight alcohol consumption, not a lot)

Part 3

Trucker!simon, as puntual as ever, raps his heavy fist against your door at 7pm sharp. You have to take a final look at yourself in the mirror to ensure you still look well groomed.

When you open the door Simon’s huge form takes up nearly the entire doorframe. He’s wearing heavy dark blue jeans, a flannel button up, and a thick leather jacket. He has a bouquet of red and pink roses. You get to enjoy his uncovered smile as you fawn over them.

He lifts them for you to smell, but the only thing you catch of whiff of is his musky cologne, rich and deep. Once you get the roses settled into a vase, Simon walks you to his pickup with a warm hand resting firm on your hip.

When you ask him where he’s taking you, he just glances your way with a smirk,

“You’ll see, lovey.”

You giggle and ask him how much longer it’ll be.

“Wot’s the matter? Just can’t wait much longer for it to be over and be in my bed?”

You gape at him, your face flushing red, and he chuckles. He must notice you squeezing your thighs together, because a moment later he plants his massive hand on your thigh, giving you a gentle squeeze.

By the time you two make it to the restaurant, you’re certain there must be a puddle on his brown leather seats with how much he was squeezing your thigh, teasing his fingers just under the skirt of your dress. Your legs feel like jello as he helps you out of the truck.

The place he’s taken you is a lot prettier than you imagined, cute and atmospheric. You’re a bit shocked that a gruff man like him would know any places like this.

Has a reservation for the two of you, at a table he specifically chose. A private table in the corner, nestled between two large plant covered windows. You gasp at the view, looking out over the well lit street.

When you ask him how he found such a lovely place, he tells you he knows the owner’s husband.

“S’my ol cap’s wife, used to be in the force with em’. Same team. Lovely couple, they’ll like you.”

You listen to him speak, asking him questions about his time in the military. When it’s time to order, you take a final glance at the menu, your brows furrowing. It’s a real nice place, and the prices reflect that.

“You can get whatever you want, lovey.” He says, but you just frown. So he looks up at the waiter and tells him to give you both another minute.

You explain that you’re sorry, everything’s just so expensive, you don’t want to cost him too much. He looks offended and grunts, leaning over to you.

“Money ain’t an issue f’me.”

“I’ll get you anything you want, anything at all, bird.” He says so gently, you’re unsure he’s even talking about food.

By the end of dinner, your belly is full and your cheeks are warm, from him or the glass of wine, you aren’t sure. The two of you talked for hours, and your stomach still hurts from how hard he made you laugh with his ridiculous dad jokes.

You feel giddy as he walks you out to his truck, arm around your shoulder. You nestle yourself into his side, taken in his heat and his smell. The mood shifts once the two of you get into the truck. Suddenly the air is too hot, and you would really love to lose a few layers.

Just like before, he plants his warm palm on the fat of your thigh, massaging his fingers into it. But this time, as his fingers breach the skirt of your dress, they keep inching up until his thumb is pressed up against your clothed sex. You suck in a breath as he applies some pressure to your throbbing clit.

“So wet already, ain’t ya bird?” He whispers, his voice thick.

The only response you can give him is a whine as he shifts his hand till he’s grinding his palm against you. You meet his pace, moving your hips against his hand, grasping his arm as you whimper.

His other hand grips the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are white. He struggles to even keep his eyes on the road, and when he finally glances at you, just to see you looking up at him all needy and flushed, he has to resist pulling over and taking you right here in his truck. Instead he just presses harder on the gas and on your wet pussy.

By the time you’ve made it to his home, you’ve already cum twice. Your gasping and twitching as he jumps from out as soon as he puts the truck into park, speed walking to your side and ripping the door open to smash his lips against yours.

Carries you up the front door, your legs wrapped around his waist. He parts from you only once to unlock his door and take you both inside. He pushes you against the wall, tearing of his jacket as you pull off your own. His hands grab the hem of your dress, you help him pull it over your head. You blush as he pauses for a moment to take in your matching set, red lace bralette and panties.

“This all f’me? So perfect.” He groans. Hand coming up to cup your tit and press a wet kiss to your lace covered chest.

By the time he has you laid out in his bed you’re naked and hot. You claw at his shirt, whining at him to take it off.

He complies without second thought, ripping it off and revealing a muscled, scarred chest. You can’t help how you practically mewl at the sight of him.

He bends down as he’s removing his jeans to press kisses down the expanse of your throat. His mouth finds a nipple, sucking it into his mouth. He licks your chest sloppily, groaning as he sucks hickies on your tits. He stands straight as he pulls off his boxers, revealing a thick cock, the tip an angry red as it leaks precum.

“Look a’ what you do to me love. Never been so hard.” His voice is low and nearly whiny near the end of his sentence.

Spends a real long time stretching you out on his thick fingers. Sucks on your tits and neck the whole time. He’s almost as loud as you, watching you as you squirm beneath him with groans falling from his lips. You cum at least 2 times, but you aren’t sure, your bones feel like jelly and your vision is so blurred from tears you can barely see Simon’s face. If you could see it, you would see how pussy drunk he looks, absolutely love struck.

When he finally lines himself with your entrance, he gently squeezes your hips and presses a few sweet kisses to your mouth.

“You ready bird? Think ya can take some more?” He asks softly.

Yes, yes, please. You tell him. Finally.

Doesn’t waste another moment and finally pushes himself into your slick cunt with a low groan. He presses his face into the crook of your neck, gently thrusting himself into you at first.

“Feel s’good.. so so good.” He mumbles against your skin, halting his movements for a moment.

He lifts himself to his elbows, analyzing your face to ensure you’re comfortable. With your approval he starts moving, fucking you with long and languid thrusts. Pulling his cock all the way out before pushing back in.

After a while of him moving like this, you feel like you’re about to fall apart again. You claw at his back, legs wrapped around his waist as he hits a gooey spot within you that has you clenching on his cock.

“Give it t’me sweetheart, please, I need it.” He says, sounding utterly wrecked.

And once you come on his cock, he loses it. He starts humping himself into you at an ungodly pace, one that has you crying and mewling his name. Every nerve in your body feels like it’s on fire, you can’t even form the words to ask him to slow down, but given the look on his face you aren’t sure if he’d even hear you.

He looks so out of it, practically drunk. His eyes are half lidded and lips parted as he grunts and gasps. His hands hold your hips in a vice grip that you know will leave marks, not like it matters though, he’s already marked all over your chest and throat.

“Been- been waiting to take ya out fer- fu-uck-“ he pauses, his hips snapping against yours, “since I saw ya bird- knew you were mine. All mine.” He growls out.

His eyes nearly roll to the back of his skull as you clench down on his length, he lets out a breathy moan as he slows his movements.

“W-where you want it birdie? Where y’want me to cum?” He gasps out.

Blows his load as soon as you squeak out a quiet “inside.”

He’s growling, gasping and panting, as he pumps his load into you. Keeps thrusting even after he’s cum, pressing his nose into your hair and whining.

Once the two of you have come down, and you finally stop seeing stars, he quickly hops up to get a wet rag and cold glass of water. Cleans the both of you up and urges you to take a few sips, finishes what’s left of the glass once you do.

You practically pass out as soon as he’s got you wrapped up in his warm, burly arms. He stays awake though, petting your hair and gazing at your pretty face. He’s finally got you, and he’s never letting you go.

Note: it was HELL trying to get this done for you guys today :((( my wifi decided to die once I was halfway through with the first part of this fic, which then deleted everything and I had to rewrite EVERYTHINF. That and my poor doggy has been losing his mind over the fireworks going off every ten mins (curse you Fourth of July). It’s fine tho, cuz I think it turned out so cute. Ofc I had to add in the fluffy ending, also please forgive the repetitive word use and unnecessary commas!! I’m planning on coming back and editing this one hardcore, if I end up adding any major things to it I’ll just post the updated version (as well as this one) but this will do for now!! Just wanted to give u guys something to chew on cuz I left you all high and dry with the first part lol

Simon Riley master list

[odysseys-blood]

i wish i could have candles so bad man