#as everyone looks at him in varying degrees of wtf

[justalitlecreacher]

Post-Shawn takes a shot in the Dark idea where someone asks Shawn how he got out of the trunk the first time and Shawn casually explains that at the ripe old age of eleven, Henry taught him how to break out of a car trunk by locking him in one

Like there are three options for how this scene plays out

Shawn spouts some bs about the spirits helping him

Shawn tells the truth and no one believes him b/c they know Henry can be intense at times, but surely he knows where to draw the line

Shawn tells the truth and everyone believes him/ suddenly realizes why he is like *that*

[kathrinesadventures]

Hey everyone! I'm Katherine, the Author of Femboy Dating Simulator and Lost in your eyes! Both of them Interactive, and both of them varying degree of "WTF?"

So for first, my proudest and most dedicated accomplishment!:

"Lost in Your Eyes: A Dark Fantasy Romance Book" 

Step into a modern world where you play the lead in a city overflowing with supernatural beings who face animosity and persecution from humans. As you navigate through branching plotlines and encounter a cast ofcharacters, three individuals rise as potential love interests. (Technically 4 now. Might get 5)

Do you choose the worrisome yet charming werewolf, An intimidating but protective healer, the shy and clingy vampire, or the sadistic and seductive mage? The decision is yours, but beware, the danger is around every corner. As you grapple with your troubled past and confront the darkness within, you may realize that your greatest adversary is yourself. Can you find love, redemption, and the courage to save those you've lost or will your obsessions and desires consume you, leading to the downfall of society as you know it?

Introducing, A shy, cute, and extremely JEALOUS, Marcus/Melissa Blaine!

The next one on the spot is the mischievous. impish and just a horndog, Vivian/Vale Valentine!!

Or the calm and cool, but possessive Elizabeth/The reserved, protective John.

And next!

Femboy dating Simulator

Have you ever wanted to play pokemon but wanted to have characters that were humanoid so you wouldn't get blamed for bes***** for wanting to have seggs with them while also loving the characters for who they are and not for their bodies?

Well you've come to the wrong place! ish- I don't know what the hell I'm saying so I'll just copy paste the thingy because my brain is literally slurry paste right now ;-;

Femboy dating simulator! Where you start out as a soldier, a fashion artist, or a CEO of a massive company!

....

Who-dies-once-they’ve-reached-the-peak-of-career-and-the-peace they-were-supposed-to-enjoy-is-ripped-away-from-them.

But don’t fret! You’ve been looked after by a kind goddess who feels that you’ve been wronged and thus gives you a second chance! She delivers you to another world. Her world. This is where things get spicy! You’ve been bestowed with a Rift walker. A creature who is summoned through a rune placed on your body. Each rune summons a different Rift walker and your job is to make a team of the strongest familiars, get to know them, date em, etc etc. But also, most importantly train and bond with them. Your familiarity will be the strongest with how good your relationship is with itthem. So who will you choose?

Laurel? The calm, hard to figure out, brawler?

Thor? The kind, caring and mature muscle daddy? (Yes, I call him daddy cause he daddy material)

The MC’s best friend! (Or close friend depending on which ground you choose) Is he a he or a she? I DON’T KNOW!

And Noah! (Not yet implemented, but you can beat his ass and make him your slave!) (Tumblr won't let me post pictures for some reason, so I'll post link!)

Play Femboy Dating Simulator

Play Lost in your eyes

If you enjoy my content, and want to support me (or help with more arts lol) My Patreon, or Ko-fi!!

I now have a Discord!!

[tonydaddingham]

LWA: This is just a mini-ask, but I've seen people comment before on Crowley's waiter jacket, and while the lapels are genuinely different from the others, the rest of the look, as far as I can tell, is because Crowley /does not understand how to wear it/. From the way it is draping at the front, he has the hanging loop attached--which you should not do while actually wearing the jacket!--and the sides aren't shorter, but tucked into the cummerbund. Which also, no. I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be a deliberate costuming parallel to Gabriel's own misadventure in suit jackets, where he has neglected to cut open the back vent. Aziraphale and Crowley are more humanized than their employers, but they are still "off."

to be honest with you, LWA, mini/silly asks are very welcome at the moment!!! the details on crowley are really cool, and to my shame i'd never really paid much attention to it!!! it's not so obvious in this post (in fact i don't think the jacket is closed here, there's too big a gap?) but by 'hanging loop', im guessing that you mean this little clasp thing going on here?

(also love the detail of what i think is a FiH knot, as opposed to the other servers, who im guessing are sporting half, maybe full, windsors. iconic)

as for the cummerbund disaster... from the back it definitely looks bunched and bulky, or at least the shirt definitely is (which in itself... yeah, negates the whole point of it - is it even sat in the right place?? looks like it should sit a smidge higher??) but from the bottom right, the cut of the jacket would suggest it's not long enough to be standard length, and the front finishes, and angles up, in a cropped shape at the waist (more like the front of a very high tailcoat cut?)... odd:

edit because ive just looked at this again - it does quite literally seem like it's a tailcoat cut, and he's tucked the tails into the cummerbund? crowley wtf are you doin my love you're an enigma

regardless of the specifics though, crowley in particular dressing just slightly out-of-place is a really cool detail, especially in his historical dress; people always remark on aziraphale's clothing being slightly - or completely- out-of-touch, but crowley in his own manner dresses slightly off as well, absolutely.

slightly unrelated, and took me a hot minute to find it, but this overview of his rome attire is an example of awesome details demonstrating that crowley might not blending in as much as he intended. and bernadette banner's (1:26:45) review of their 1827 dress was really interesting too, indicating that crowley oftentimes dresses 'ahead of the time'. its plausible that crowley would just dress in a way that he thinks is accurate, but from a human's perspective is just completely foreign, and whether his attire just happens to be noticed by the right people, or its another subconscious (demonic?) power-of-influence thing, what seems to be slightly incorrect dress for the exact, specific period suddenly becomes trend-setting fashion.

but then again, we get his nanny costume, which the book chalks that up to him having watched mary poppins; goes to show that sometimes crowley doesn't quite recognise the shift in time period where dress is concerned, and instead takes the pop culture idea of what a nanny would dress like, and runs with it.

i like the thought that gabriel (and maybe all the angels, when they visit earth, to varying degrees) might dress a little strangely/have some faux pas going on, but got to confess - can't spot where gabriel's vent stitches might still be tacked? from what i can see, in s1 he has a double-vented jacket that appears to be open, and then in s2 has a ventless/ double-pleated vent jacket? possibly? (@everyone timestamps most welcome; i was scouring both seasons half asleep at 2am)

seems like he still has them tacked in his coat though which, yeah, is a really amusing detail:

[kehideni]

For months now, the dominating emotion for me has been rage.

I made 2 text posts about it and i deleted both before posting, but this third one i'm keeping.

My sanity has been dependent on a fkin fictional monkey and while that may be funny to you, for me it is not yet that. Maybe one day i will look back and feel it's cringe but hey... hold onto whatever helps, right?

But since no one reads these text posts i think i can feel free to... spill the chamberpot, as we hungarians say.

So what has been going on in my life.

Well, i changed workplaces finally, (as in 2 months from now i will no longer work here in gynecology) but i never told anyone why. (At least not here)

Thing is, a lot of things are adding up but the deciding factor is a "new" doctor that's been working here for half a year now.

This Dr, we are going to refer to as Butcher.

Butcher anno started here in my home city, the then Prof. kicked him out because even back then he was a shitty Dr.

The Butcher left for Budapest and has been working there for pay-hospitals (clinics are the free hospitals you go into with free-healthcare, hospitals are the places where the patient pays for the healthcare) Bucher has been forbidden from operating in these hospitals, i can only guess why.

Come the end of 2023 and our clinic gets a new Prof. from Budapest, and this Prof is a fkin retard idiot, and is also a biiiig friend of Butcher, and brought him back with himself.

Since he's been working here, whatever operation he is in something happens. Infections, wound healing disorder, the operations take far longer than they should, he touches organs that have absolutely zero to do with the operation he agrees upon on paper... i could go on. Patients that so far at worst were here for 3 days are now here for months, literal months.

That is not fine at all but something we could handle, but now he took up another kind of operation.

This operation is big as it is, but of course he makes them longer and guess what, so far 3 out of 3 he bled the patients out to varying degree.

The first two got their vena iliaca cut! CLEAN cut, the second one clinically died for a few seconds even! This third he did today was almost bled out, even if he didn't cut the main vena. He already killed off one patient that died in my shift!! Ffs, the woman was HEAVILY contraindicated! She was old, overweight, had several heart problems, had diabetes, thyroid disease(i don't remember if it was hyper or hypothyreosis) and who knows what else, and everyone told him (yes, even us nurses) that she should not be operated on, and yet he did.

You might be naive and think "we're just human, we make mistakes". THIS MANY? ONE AFTER THE OTHER? THE SAME FKIN MISTAKES ONE AFTER THE OTHER? WITH SEVERAL OPERATION? HE IS FORBIDDEN FROM SEVERAL HOSPITALS ALREADY WTF?! WHAT the ACTUAL FUCK is he doing here?!

And i'm not the only one mad, the whole building is but guess what, he is protected by the Prof., and he is narcisstic. Like Dr. Death in the USA he surrounds himself with fans i don't even know how he got...

He also edits his surgical descriptions so he looks innocent on paper. I can't even report him to anyone because i don't have proof like this. He got friends on high places anyway.

Goddamn corrupt clinic.

And we got other clinics asking too btw... we had several places ask us wtf is going on here.

But no one is doing anything... i flat out told one of his patients that she should report him to the authorities but she just came back to Butcher to a second operation and guess what... she ended up in the ICU as well. Idiot.

I turned several of his patients back and told them to look for another doctor, with more success than not but... i'm tired...

I can't do anything about him, but i refuse to work with/for a FUCKING MURDERER.

I've been coming to work with untold rage ever since and i can't wait for September.

I'm this close to just flat out, out his name to the world but it'd just endanger me because i can be reached after, but he can't....

When i say i want to kill him i'm not kidding.

So yeah... i'm stressed, and angry, and impatient.

[amuseoffyre]

I need to be awake and brain for this, but it’s after midnight, I ate too much baklava and now I’m sugar-silly and having thoughts about the difference between Stede and Ed’s variations of masking.

For those who aren’t familiar, masking is basically a social survival skill adopted by a lot of neurodiverse people to stop us getting bullied/beaten on/worse. It has varying degrees of success, depending on how well someone manages to mask to blend in with “normal behaviour” aka accepted neurotypical modes of behaviour.

In my mind, Stede is autistic and Ed has ADHD. There is a lot of overlap between them as well as a lot of fun and messy contradiction (try being very specific about pre-sleep check-all-the-things routines while also having the attention span of a small concussed puppy. It is... challenging).

For Stede, the paradox that is the upper class was a prison that stifled absolutely everything about him. There are unwritten rules - many of which seem pointless, outdated and meaningless - but if you don’t follow them correctly, there are repercussions. There are binary lines drawn around gender, where you can have all the wealth and land, but if you pick flowers you are a target. Emotions were seen as weakness, even to the degree of your wife being aware of you crying.

For someone who is inclined to be literal and direct as Stede is, being caught in this whirligig of the unsaid, the implicit, the subtext, is a nightmare. He play-acts as much as he can, behaving as a gentlemen should, but every so often, his true self slips out. He has to hide the things he loved for fear of being chastised. So he does. He closes down. He’s treading water and little more. Hell, when he’s clearly depressed and unable to handle it anymore, he runs away because he can’t face the conflict that will come from addressing it all.

At the opposite end of the the social spectrum, you have Ed who has been raised in a culture of abuse and violence his entire life, told that he’s doomed to be poor and shown that the only way to keep yourself from being hurt is to make sure you’re too big and too loud and too fierce and too savage to be beaten down.

Ed never had a chance to work out who he was himself because he had to match everyone around him. He became a social chameleon to keep himself alive and safe. He code-switches wildly, depending on who he’s talking to and when. He makes himself the biggest and the boldest around other pirates, with dramatic flourishes, big grand displays of how smart he is and doing his damnedest not to let anyone see it slip to the point he’s juggling a dozen perceptions of who he is. Izzy describes him as “half-mad”, Ivan and Fang idolise him, half the Revenge’s crew is terrified of him and Calico Jack treats him like a feral drunk frat brother. Even Stede gets Ed’s performative behaviour because “we have to make a good impression”.

Which means it’s a big shift when Stede is the first person to see behind Ed’s mask with the bath tub encounter and Ed freaks out about it and plans to leave the very next episode. Being seen, to him, is weakness and terrifying, especially when he isn’t sure wtf he’s doing in this situation or where it’s going. When your entire perception of your identity is built off the reflections of the people around you, what are you meant to do when someone holds up a mirror and says “yes, but what about you? are you all right?”

It makes me very excited for the potential for S2 because Stede has finished his personal journey arc: he worked out who he is, who he wants to be, and has chosen to go and live the life he wants, unmasked and free.

But Ed? Ed’s journey is yet to come. We’ve seen fragments of it, Ed-the-sailor, Ed-the-lyricist, Ed-the-grieving, Ed-the-furious. He’s never had the chance to work out which of those bits he is and which of them are just reflections of other people. I’m looking forward to him figuring things out. And oh lord, I’m hoping for full beardie Ed rocking around in fluffy jimjams and a sword, because he likes a good maim, but no reason he can’t do it in fluffy jimjams.

[toru-oikawas-milkbread]

Kasey, so I had a whole idea/scenario that you needed to hear since I knew this dream would be a nightmare for Oikawa and I know how much you love him 💀 Absolutely based off of the jealousy fic you wrote lmao

So imagine dating Oikawa for a few years and having a younger sister move to Japan for Uni and finally getting to meet you're awesome bf! 😊 And it's a relief because they hit it off really well and your sister is already asking things like "When's the wedding? I'm invited, right?" or "Hey so does Toru have any hot friends? Asking for myself 👀" and it's going really well and all that jazz.

Then after getting settled in you guys all decide to go to a live volleyball game after some of the earlier ones ended to get your sister into the sport (which she does ofc) and while everyone is about to go she heads off to the stands to get a souvenir but is gone for a while. You guys look for her but she's not at the concessions stand??? Wtf?

And after a bit of searching you guys head towards the restrooms because maybe she's there and lo and behold there she is! And...oh. You see Toru's mood start to sour because she's she's taking pictures with Ushijima? And chatting his ear off???? Like you knew she was really friendly and all but he's 1. kind of a big deal and 2. your bf hates his guts, so to avoid a conflict you go over to get her and have a brief, terse interaction with Ushijima and the glares exchanged between him and Toru could be cut with a knife. Except your sister doesn't know any better and is just happy to be speaking with a real VBall player! 😲

So Toru tries to explain to her to stay away from that "Ushiwaka bastard" and tells her (with varying degrees of hyperbole) how much of a boring, self-righteous prick he is, and she's a bit down since he didn't seem that bad, but eventually you get her to agree to drop it.

Over the course of a few months she weasels you guys into taking her to more VBall games and she eventually begins to become a huge fan of the sport - so much that when she announces she wants to switch her major to Sports Psychology (to become a sports psychologist) it catches you guys off guard?? But you're happy anyways!

Except a lot of the games she goes to feature the Adlers, and almost every damn time you guys keep running into Ushijima and at this point Toru refuses to go with you guys to any games if the Adlers are playing lmao! Which hurts your sister's feelings, she was trying to understand the sport better so she and her future in-law will have something to talk about 🥺 But you reassure her that Toru and Ushijima just don't get along and then she hits you with, "But Toshi doesn't seem so bad 🥺 He's just a little awkward..."

And you need to pause because WHAT. THE FUCK. "TOSHI"? YOU GUYS ARE ON NICKNAME TERMS WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN????

And when you tell Toru he LOSES IT. Like, making more plans to keep her focused on her degree, taking her out to the movies with you guys, literally ANYTHING to keep her from speaking to that Ushiwaka Bastard like wtf. Eventually you guys come up with a plan and foist Hajime into the mix because according to Toru, "He had to take a lot of the same classes as you, y'know~! Iwa-chan studied in America too! Oh, and I think he's single as well, aren't you Iwa-chan??"

But of course this backfires HORRIBLY because Iwaizumi is such a stand-up guy and he likes your sister...as a friend 😔 He actually starts to see her as his own younger sibling so he's kind of a pushover for her lol And even though he also cannot stand Ushijima, he's worked with the Adlers before. And when she finds out she hits him with her puppy eyes 🥺 and wants to know if he has Toshi's number still and he does, and then he kinda...caves. Iwa's a sap LMFAO 🥴

Some more months go by and when your sister reveals that she's been seeing someone you're like 👀 Ohhh~ And Toru and Iwa are like 😠😡 Like they HAVE to meet him and interrogate him, and your sister pulls you aside and lets you that yes, some time along the last eight months she's been in Japan she's asked Toshi on a date and he agreed?? And you kind of short-circuit?! LIKE BITCH WHAT THAT WAS THE WORST PERSON OML-

So you try to tell her this is a horrible idea but then she kind of sheepishly mentions that on their last date - their third one?!?! WHEN TF DID THIS HAPPEN - he actually mustered up the courage to ask if he could kiss her and they did, and on one hand you're worried about Toru and Iwa's reaction and on the other you notice your sister has a TON of pictures, his name in her phone has hearts all over it, the lockscreen is a selfie of the two of them and it shocks you that he's smiling and she just looks so in love.

So you both agree to tell the guys...at a later date.

Well later means two months later because while you and Toru are out on a coffee date you both happen to catch your sister and Ushijima out on a coffee date as well (figures, you both love coffee dates lmao).

And the look on Toru's face when he sees Ushijima pull a chair out for your sister (and his at this point 😤) and when he gives her a quick peck on the lips just a couple of tables away is a mix between terrifying and comical.

And the look of absolute HORROR on your sister's face when she sees you guys is also borderline comical.

So ever the sweetheart, your sister decides since the cat's out of the bag she wants to try to reconcile Toshi and Toru's relationship and make it a double date 💀 And she is trying her BEST to make the best out of an awkward situation but Toru is just fuming because he can tell they're holding hands under the table and he HATES IT.

Literally while the guys are engaged in a staredown where if looks could kill there'd be a genocide she's carrying on the convo almost by herself and is trying her hardest to keep the guys engaged and is taking turns complimenting them and IT'S A MESS-

(Whew! I had to get that out lmao! That idea was in my head for a WHILE OML 😩)

I love this whole thing. I can imagine Tōru just losing his shit when he finds out that the love of his life's sister is dating Ushijima of all people. He'd be a scheming little bastard and do anything he can, absolutely anything, to break them up. Feelings be damned, he does not want to some day possibly be related to Ushijima in any way. Tōru would not enjoy that double date and he wouldn't even try and pretend like he could. He'd probably kick Ushijima underneath the table and say he didn't do it and "(y/n)'s leg must've had a spasm, huh love?" and you just sigh and say "Sorry, I've been having knee problems" because even if Ushijima doesn't believe it, Oikawa is childish and there's no way around that

This was adorable, I love it ❤️

[lassieposting]

wow

I think you're the only person in the entire fandom shipping Mevolent / Vile.

do you have some NSFW headcanons ??? 👀

Do I have any smutty headcanons...oh nonnie my sweet summer child I have smutty headcanons for every single ship i have

Anyway I spent ages trying to figure out wtf counted as sufficiently smutty so have an askmeme

Top/Bottom. Do they have a preference?

Top Mevolent/Power Bottom Vile.

Vile is actually versatile, but Mevolent isn't really into bottoming.

Dom/Sub. Do they have a preference?

Mevolent doesn't have a submissive bone in his body. He's the Brat Tamer sort of dom - he prefers cheeky, stubborn, feisty partners who'll act out and give him a power struggle but ultimately melt for him.

With...pretty much anyone else, Vile would actually be the dom. He is what Mevolent affectionately refers to as "a handful", which is probably the understatement of the century, and at the start of their relationship it's an all-out battle for control - they have the kind of sex that's half a fight, they overturn furniture, they leave marks, they draw blood.

But at one point, Vile was Skulduggery, and Skug was versatile with very obvious subby tendencies, so there's a little residual part of Vile that's very into dom!Mevolent. Over time, as they build trust and get closer, he gets more comfortable ultimately letting that part win out. Not that he makes it easy most of the time - he's fiery, he likes making Mevolent overpower him because the power struggle is half the fun, and he's still terrible for trying to top from the bottom, but he does settle down from "genuinely determined to dom Mevolent" to more just...being a brat for shits and giggles.

How long can they go?

There is a definite difference lmfao. Mevolent likes younger men. Vile is like four or five centuries younger than he is, and his last sexual partner - Serpine - is also around Vile's age. So unless Mevolent tires Vile out before getting off himself, Vile will be raring to go again long before poor Mev is done recovering.

Sexual fantasies?

Mevolent is pretty into the idea of corrupting heroic resistance leader Skulduggery into changing sides to fight for him (via sex rather than torture). He doesn't look too closely at this one, doesn't look at it at all tbh beyond "corruption kink is hot", but there's a part of him that actually feels responsible for all of Vile's trauma - he sent Serpine after Skulduggery in the first place, he authorised the torture and the eventual execution...when Vile has night terrors and wakes up lashing out and panicking, he feels like he caused that. He lowkey loves the idea that they could've ended up together under different, happier circumstances. He knows Vile well enough to keep this particular fantasy to himself, though: Vile's past is a touchy subject.

In the same vein, "naive inexperienced temple-born Vile" hits all of Mevolent's religious/virginity kink buttons. With the added bonus that Vile will actually indulge him on this one occasionally.

Any sexual fantasies/kinks they’re ashamed of?

So, Mevolent is religious and deeply so, which means he is essentially a ball of guilt and religious hangups, but he's also not Eliza Scorn levels of devout, meaning he'll commit certain sins and then feel bad about them later. This entire relationship is a huge source of internal conflict for him. On the one hand, he loves Vile. Vile makes him happy, is cuddly in the mornings, and gives fantastic head. On the other, Vile is a heretic. Long-term committed relationship aside, even sleeping with a heretic is taboo - are you truly devoted to the gods if you're willing to sully your body, their vessel when they return to this world, by rutting with heathens? And while most of his inner circle - who also commit sins of varying degrees of severity - are willing to turn a blind eye to his choice of paramour, and while he ultimately considers the relationship worth the guilt and the anxiety, sometimes he thinks about what will happen to him - the punishment he'll receive - when the Faceless Ones return and feels sick inside.

Vile will get off on Mevolent manhandling/overpowering him, and then feel kind of weird and dirty and dissociated afterwards. He drops hard, and sometimes he wants to be left alone and other times he gets as close as he can and it's still not enough, he wants to crawl inside Mev's skin with him and maybe then he'll feel like he really exists. He doesn't have the emotional awareness to realise that he's using Mevolent - someone he trusts not to hurt him - to try and take his agency back by recreating how he felt when Serpine was torturing him, but with a different outcome (where feeling helpless/exposed/vulnerable etc leads to pleasure and praise and being taken care of by someone who loves him, instead of, you know, agony and death). All he really knows is that he gets off on it at the time and then feels guilty about it after. They both need therapy, but Mevolent knows him well enough to be pretty good at aftercare.

Are they loud/vocal, or do they stay quiet?

Vile makes being quiet into an artform, but Mevolent takes that as a challenge. He can get little gasps and moans out of Vile if he puts his mind to it, but he really has to work for them.

Mevolent is? Normal levels of loud, usually, but he keeps it down as much as possible while they're fucking around in secret.

Favourite position?

They actually agree on this one - riding/Vile-on-top. Mevolent gets to lay back and let his much younger lover do most of the work, he has a great view, he can touch as much as he likes, he gets to watch Vile fall apart. Vile gets to be in control and tease and drag it out as long as he likes, and when he's done in and keels over, he can chill out on Mev's chest until he gets his breath back.

Clothes off or on during sex?

Vile prefers either clothes on or lights off. He very much enjoys looking at Mevolent naked, but he doesn't like being looked at himself. He used to be very pretty and he knew it, but now when he looks at himself in the mirror all he can see is his scars, a canvas painted by Serpine. Underneath the fake body is even worse - unlike Skug, Vile's been using necromancy to pretend he isn't a bag of bones for the past couple centuries; he hasn't actually processed it at all.

Mevolent on the other hand is a clothes off, lights on person. Even during their mostly-clothed up-against-the-wall angry hookups, he'll be tugging Vile's collar out of the way to get at skin; neck or chest or collarbone. He doesn't give a rat's ass about the scars, he has plenty of his own.

They mostly compromise with candlelight or a fire in the grate. Soft, low light hides a multitude of sins, which makes Vile more comfortable, and turns his hair to burnished copper, which Mevolent loves.

Do they like to cuddle after sex?

They do! It takes a while for them to figure that out - at first they hook up and then Vile gets dressed and leaves and that's how they like it. Serpine was very much desperate for any scrap of affection from Mevolent, so it's a refreshing change to have someone who's after the same thing as Mevolent - a quick fuck with no emotions or strings attached.

But eventually they start spending longer together, lazing and talking or dozing in between going at it like rabbits, and they realise that? It's nice to hold and be held, to pet and be pet without the expectation of it going anywhere. Vile has freckles and Mevolent likes making patterns out of them (he's adamant he's found the Faceless circles/his own crest on Vile's ass cheek), and Mevolent will doze off to Vile idly stroking up and down his spine. Vile likes having his hair played with. Mevolent likes to prop his cheek on Vile's head to read. They become a pretty cuddly couple tbh.

Do they like having sex outside of the bedroom? If yes, where?

Mevolent's throne is a favourite, after the throne room has cleared out. Usually it's Vile getting in his lap after all his audiences are done and the throne room has cleared out. Occasionally, if he's feeling particularly sentimental, Mevolent will let Vile try the throne out and go down on him while he's sitting in it, his own version of all the sorcerers who bend the knee to him. It's his way of pointing out his feelings - pretty much everyone in the world kneels to Mevolent, but he only kneels to two things: his gods, and his lover. They're not great at expressing their feelings, so giving Vile that power trip is one of the ways he says I love you.

Once they're able to be together publicly, Mevolent's favourite is getting Vile alone on a balcony or in an empty hallway behind some columns somewhere for a fumble during a party - anywhere he can get the thrill of "we might get caught" with the certainty that they probably won't. He likes the thought that they might be seen, but he also knows he needs to mind his reputation, so he prefers knowing that the chances are very small.

Are they affectionate during sex?

When it's the sappy romo kind, they are; they're worldbreakers in the eyes of most, but to each other they're just Mevolent and Vile, they're like any other couple. They laugh and bicker and make out and leave possessive little marks on each other and playfight. No one looking at them would think of either of them being capable of that kind of softness. Vile also has a praise kink like woah so Mevolent lavishes him with it. But when they're really going at it it's all teeth and nails and they leave the cuddliness for later.

[punk-chicken-radio]

who’s in the house?

i am, now. i just got home, and i am so bone tired i figured i better get this done before i eat those brownies i spy calling my name and sleep for 2.3 days. sooo....on to today’s show. 

as you all are aware, this seems to be all smelly and i do these days. but don’t worry, today isn’t another rant about home improvement work. though i do have to ask, any of y’all ever come across some dumbass in the past that put silicone caulk on a fucking wooden door frame that you then discovered? that was an unexpected WTF. but home is where the heart is, and sometimes people have super dumb hearts.

anyway, today is a range of songs relating to the word house. something a lot of us are kinda tired of looking at, anxious to get out of, or even just ready to watch burn.

but we ARE the lucky ones, you know. at least we have homes, however confined we may be to varying degrees. you will find some of these songs touch on that subject, but also, some of them are a little more abstract, relating to music, or to a party, or what have you...

we’ve included a couple of bonus covers for you today, because as per usual, we can’t ever decide which one we like better. 

and @theoldsmelly wants to remind everyone during this time of being bored at home that spying on him through your windows into his windows is illegal and he wasn’t doing what you think he was doing with that cheese.

love (they look janky af) axiomatic and the old (arm snapped off) smelly

[xyliane]

AUgust 7: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 12 YEAR OLD

PROMPT THE SEVENTH: CHILDHOOD FRIENDS wait how can you childhood friends au killugon, I asked myself, forgetting that I had a whole-ass idea in my drafts already. this one’s a proper fic, too (minus editing cuz l o l it’s an AU writing challenge, not editing challenge). T, aged-up killugon, modern day au. ft ambiguous descriptions of social media, alluka, kalluto, and leorio in killua’s corner, and zushi and spinner in gon’s, brief discussion of getting plastered and dealing with a hangover. 5000 words.

0o0o0o0o0

The first sign that today is going to be an absolutely terrible day, is when Killua wakes up with a hangover.

This does not happen. Killua can count on one hand the number of times he’s gotten so drunk he’s had a hangover, and most of them are the fault of his little siblings. Little siblings who are now living together, whose couch he is currently painfully existing upon, half too hot and his toes way too cold. And the couch is too soft, an old secondhand thing he’d helped Alluka grapple up the stairs months ago after they found it outside an old dorm. He makes a notch in his very sore brain to blame the current situation on them. Kalluto might be kind enough to let a drunk big brother crash with them, but Alluka has a devious streak a mile wide.

Yeah. This is definitely their fault.

One eye slowly creaks open, surveying his surroundings through blurry vision. Nothing out of the ordinary here. He’s in the pajamas he’s left with Alluka forever ago, curled up under an old blanket he gave her for Nanika’s birthday. It’s covered in the Matrix code, all green letters on black wool. It barely covers him from chest to knees, which explains the cold toes.

Sunlight flickers through the curtains, cheerful and bright, and Killua pulls the blanket over his face. He’ll take cold toes over being blinded by his headache.

The second sign that today is going to be an absolutely terrible day, is when a noise like a chainsaw burrowing through a marshmallow erupts from his phone buzzing on the coffee table, just barely out of reach.

Killua attempts to bury himself under the blanket. He’s not dealing with work today.

And then he remembers: He doesn’t have work. Work can’t bother him today. Not just because it’s a weekend—work never respected the sanctity of weekends, no matter that he was at least partially in charge and used to have a fancy degree hanging on his wall. He doesn’t have work anymore. Killua quit.

Which, well. That explains the hangover.

He’s still blaming his siblings.

His phone buzzes loud enough to break the sound barrier, and Killua decides, fuck it. He doesn’t have anything to lose. If it’s the-place-formerly-known-as-work, he can delete everything. If it’s Mom or Father, he can definitely delete everything. And maybe it’s a friendly person, congratulating him on giving up a job that for anyone else would have been an absolute money-making dream. He’ll delete those too.

It takes a few tries to unlock his phone, and it unfortunately involves opening his eyes, squinting against the glaring light of the screen. But once he does, he frowns. Maybe he’s seeing double. Or a hundredfold. Because he should not have this many notifications.

awwww cute, i hope u 2 find each other! the top one says. It has several hundred likes. Why is it in his notifications?

Scrolling down reveals that it’s not an anomaly.

wtf man how can you find a TWELVE YEAR OLD from FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.

Me and my mom went on a cruise around there once, it was really pretty!

this is so sweet T__T maybe this is him?

And then another hundred photos of brown-skinned men with varying degrees of shirt-wearing, all black haired and most of them buff in very appealing ways and all of them beaming at Killua.

“What the fuck,” Killua croaks as he scrolls through all of the images and messages. Maybe this is a dream. A really weird, hangover-induced dream about how little of a social life he has, that his phone is possessed by someone else’s. A warning of sorts, that he should never have installed any social media on his phone ever, not even for hookups.

The reason for all the notifications lies at the top of his own page. Just a few sentences, all-caps, with an image of an old crinkled photo of two boys on a tropical beach, grinning at the camera. Killua sees himself, white curly hair flying in all directions and pale skin sunburned and ruddy with the briny wind, happier than Killua can ever remember being. Next to him, one arm slung around his shoulders and the other holding a bucket full of seashells, is a brown-skinned boy with freckles dancing across his nose and the tops of his shoulders, brown eyes wide and laughing and black hair thick and spiked from some mix of wind and seawater and natural gravity defiance.

He didn’t know he still had this photo. It had followed him from childhood all the way through grad school, a carefully guarded keepsake hidden away from the watchful eyes of his parents and Illumi, before ending up in a box or a bag at some point in the last few years. Part of Killua thought he’d lost it in the move. He barely remembers much about being twelve, about the cruise he’d been forcibly dragged on. But he remembers…

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY? yells the caption. WE WERE BEST FRIENDS FOR A WEEK WHEN I GOT DRAGGED ON A CRUISE BY MY ASSHOLE PARENTS. HE WAS 12 ON WHALE ISLAND 15 YEARS AGO. IF FOUND, DM IMMEDIATELY.

“Gon,” Killua breathes.

He gathers himself, wrapping the blanket around his head in a feeble protection against the morning, and lurches over to Alluka’s room.

He gets to bang on her door three times, confused spite winning out over his own pounding headache, before Kalluto appears out of their room, blinking blearily at Killua. “Shut up.”

Killua kicks Alluka’s door for good measure, and brandishes his phone in front of him like a weapon. “Not until you explain what the hell this is doing on the internet.”

Kalluto pales, then flushes, then pales again. “Oh. Um.”

At that, Alluka creaks her door open, guilty blue eyes far too awake for how close to noon it is. Killua kind of wants to kill her on principle alone. If he has to be hungover, so does everyone else.

“Explain,” he grinds out through his teeth.

The third and final sign that today is going to be an absolutely terrible day, is when Alluka puts on her most winning smile, the kind she uses to ward off angry customers and idiotic faux-academics on the internet. “Congratulations, Brother! I might have made you go viral.”

Killua throws his phone at her.

—————

Today’s going to be a good day, Gon decides. He’s been in the forests of East Gorteau for the better part of a month, which normally isn’t so bad. But this group has been…They’re nice enough, when Gon’s not spending half of his time explaining that, no, that species of plant does not make a good stew, and no, that species is endangered please don’t hunt them, and yes Gon is sure he doesn’t date his clients even after the hike, and no the reason the tent fell over again is because it wasn’t properly set up in the first place—

All of Aunt Mito’s complaints about tourists on Whale Island make so much more sense, now that Gon’s leading backwoods hikes.

But last night had been fun! Spinner had met the group at a pre-set campsite not far from their pickup so Gon hadn’t had to work the whole night, and he could relax with his friend over good food, more alcohol than he probably should have drunk, and not having to explain to Mrs. Yuldvin the difference between marijuana, buckeye, and poison oak again. Spinner had even taken care of the fire, although she had left him to rescue the Podomos siblings from the ruins of their tent with nothing more than a smirk and a wave. Nevertheless, Gon smiled through his headache all morning, because soon he’ll be home, and he can sleep.

Zushi is waiting in the parking lot once Gon’s done packing up the last of the gear and saying goodbye to Spinner, jeep idling while he flicks through his phone, thick eyebrows drawn together in increasing concern. He doesn’t even look up until Gon drops his pack onto the hood of the car, and he jolts so badly in surprise that he tosses his phone in the air.

“Are you okay?” Gon asks, and tries to peek at the screen.

Zushi pulls it up and away, a frantic look in his eyes. It won’t really keep Gon from seeing what’s happening, not if he wants to, but Zushi’s height is enough of a deterrent to make it hard. “You were gone way too long,” he says.

Gon leans against the hot metal of Zushi’s car. It wasn’t an unusual length for a trip, not really—this backcountry needs the length to be able to see and understand the region. Not to mention the Small Billed Swan preservation society keeping the whole place locked down except to authorized guides and trekkers. Zushi knows this. They’ve been roommates long enough that this isn’t even the longest time Gon’s been gone.

“You knew I’d be gone til today,” Gon says.

“Yeah, but…” Zushi’s eyebrows descend even further, scrunching his whole face up in worry. “You haven’t checked your phone, right?”

“No?” Even if he did have cell service, Gon never brings his own phone. He borrows Kite’s satellite phone, because it is more reliable and doesn’t need to be charged constantly.

“Okay. Well.” Zushi takes a deep breath, then another, one of Wing’s old meditation techniques. Despite his exhaustion and single-minded determination to sink into a real bed and sleep for a week, Gon feels a minor pang of worry. On breath three, he unlocks his phone and turns it towards Gon. “You’re a meme.”

On Zushi’s screen is a photo Gon can’t ever forget about. Backed by Whale Island’s sunbleached white beaches and the humid brilliant colors of summer, Gon sees himself—twelve, smiling from ear to ear, hair a mess from swimming and his shirt practically covered in sand from digging up all the seashells in his bucket. He’s got an arm around another boy, who’s caught mid-laugh so his blue eyes burn the same color as the sky, white curls even messier than Gon’s hair. They look like they’ve known each other their whole lives, like they’d still be best friends even if they haven’t seen or spoken to each other since the photo was taken.

Gon hopes Killua thinks so, too.

He cradles the phone in his hand, carefully zooming in on their faces and the errant crinkles visible through the photo. His own faded copy is in a drawer, having survived a whole trip around the world and countless apartment jumps. This one looks just as well cared for, in its own way.

“That…is you, right?” Zushi asks carefully. “Because Wing was asking, and half of Kite’s guide company is yelling about it on your social media page that you don’t even use, and now people are messaging me, and they’re saying the weirdest things, and the post is from last week, so—”

“It’s Killua,” Gon says. A smile spreads across his face, a mirror to the one he’d had when he was twelve. “That’s Killua!”

“Who?” the others ask, but Gon isn’t listening.

He spins, frantically searching his pockets for his phone. “Spinner, can you do me a favor?”

She narrows her eyes suspiciously.

Gon knew today was going to be a good day.

—————

It’s been a week, and Killua has quit all social media forever.

The steady buzz of his phone informing the apartment of his notifications is not his problem. Alluka’s the one who decided to hack into his phone and post something to his old public account, the one he mostly uses for photos of cats and complaining about terrible business precedents. He hasn’t posted much since school, and if anything, it should have simply vanished into the void of the internet.

He finds the culprit fairly quickly, and for once it’s not his sister’s moderate but dedicated video following.

“Old man, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Leorio lounges in Alluka and Kalluto’s living room, freshly out of his scrubs and looking pleased as all hell. “I just reblogged a fun post from my friend,” he says somewhat defensively. “You were a cute kid, Killua. What happened?”

Killua feels a growl creep up his throat. “You can’t just do that,” he snaps.

“It’s not my fault the people like my well-coiffed but rugged appearance and dedication to social justice in medicine.”

“You have 500,000 followers because you made a joke post two years ago, and some authorized user reblogged it five times. It has nothing to do with your ugly mug.” If Killua squints and plugs his ears, he can even see why people think Leorio’s attractive or whatever: tan skin, lean but strong as hell, actually takes care of his hair, not to mention a damn good doctor with one of the most prestigious institutions in Yorknew who spends most of his free time running health clinics in impoverished neighborhoods. That’s all swell. But then he starts talking, and Killua has no idea where the off button is.

Leorio spreads a hand out, gesturing vaguely with the glass of iced tea that he’d helped himself to out of Alluka’s stash. “It has everything to do with my ‘ugly mug,’” he says. “Which is why I used my powers for good and spread your post. Don’t you want to find him?”

“Not like this!”

“You were not going to find him at all,” Kalluto’s quiet voice pipes up from the kitchen. They have night classes tonight, but Killua has a feeling that even if they were supposed to be attending their Yorknew Uni lectures, they would still be here making Killua’s life worse. “You’ve had that picture for years, and you did not even try to look.”

Leorio gives him a judgmental look over the tops of his stupid tiny glasses. “You haven’t?”

It would be a losing game to bury his burning face in one of the throw pillows, so Killua does his best to cross his arms over his chest and glower instead. “I…tried.”

“And?”

“I don’t even know his last name!” Killua splutters. “I didn’t have his number or where he was from, other than his mom worked on the ship. And that cruiseline went bankrupt and liquidated everything before I could get out of the house, so I couldn’t even look that up.”

Kalluto crosses over from the kitchen and perches like a sweatshirt-wearing crow on the coffee table, their blue eyes carefully neutral under straight black bangs. “Alluka and Nanika would have helped. Or even Milluki, if you had explained the situation.”

“I was eighteen, okay? I just left home, and our parents were still being…shit, themselves, I guess.” He hadn’t even considered asking for help. Then again, he’d tried the moment he could, that first summer of undergrad where he didn’t have to come home and Illumi couldn’t spend half his time breathing down the back of Killua’s neck. He had a general idea of where they’d gone, maps of islands scurried away in the closet with the old photo and a bag full of seashells Gon had given him as a going-away present.

They’d been friends for a week, in the whirlwind way that only kids can be. The cruise ship was massive, and Killua’s parents were in meetings half the time and playing nice with the other rich people on board the other half. Killua had been bored witless, and Gon was everything he couldn’t have possibly imagined: encouraging Killua to go exploring, to stealing food from the kitchens, making him help clean up the decks, playing cards with the deckhands. Sneaking off the boat to visit an island without Killua’s parents while the ship was docked, scrambling over the burning hot sands and dashing through the jungle, diving into the waves fully clothed and competing to see who could find the biggest prettiest shells. Gon’d been Killua’s first friend, his first crush, his first…a lot of firsts.

Then the cruise had ended, and Killua forgot to give Gon his phone number. His address. Anything. They’d been so swept up in being friends, being best friends, it had seemed impossible that they would never see each other again.

Does Gon even remember? Why should he, when Killua hasn’t contacted him? Would they even be friends anymore?

Maybe he hadn’t searched hard enough. But part of Killua thinks he shouldn’t have tried at all.

The phone buzzes loudly, and Killua tries not to flinch.

“Hey, Killua. It’s okay.” Leorio leans forward, hands clasped over his too-long limbs and expression gentle. “If you want me to delete it, I will. Not sure I can help with the viral part of things, except maybe go through your messages and delete the gross ones, or at least find the weirdest ones for you to laugh at later.”

“Alluka and I have been doing this already,” Kalluto says, their posture a little too protective for Killua’s raw nerves at this point. “But perhaps you have some suggestions for what to do next, Dr. Paladiknight?”

Leorio smiles sympathetically. “Don’t read the comments? That said, most of your comments have been much more positive than anything I usually post. The masses seem to be genuinely rooting for you, kid.”

“I have only had to delete a dozen lewd messages for you this morning,” Kalluto adds, not mentioning the hundred or so that Alluka took care of yesterday.

Killua’s traitorous phone buzzes again, and that’s it. Time to bury himself in a pillow. Killua flops onto the couch, narrowly missing Leorio, and does his best to burrow into the cushions. “That’s just great,” he says into the fabric.

A comforting hand rubs against his hair, messing up the curls for a moment, and Killua refuses to admit that it’s nice, that he has friends like Leorio who even bother to care. “It could be worse. You could be dealing with this while still working a soul-sucking job making more money than most of us will see in our lifetimes, in exchange for giving up all of your morals.”

Killua groans loudly. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

“You’re gonna need to do something, Killua! And hey, I might be able to set something up with my—”

“I already told you, no.”

“But it’s what you’re good at. And you wouldn’t be fucking people over to do it.”

“No.”

“Just listen for one—”

Killua lifts his head enough to glare as murderously as he can at Leorio. It must work at least a little, because the doctor shuts up.

Meanwhile, Kalluto is scrolling through Killua’s phone, poking at the screen occasionally. In the awkward silence, their sharp gasp is loud enough to shatter a window, and they hurriedly shove the phone in the pocket of their oversized sweatshirt.

Leorio raises an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

Kalluto squeezes their eyes shut for a moment, then carefully places the phone on the coffee table, screen pointed innocently at the ceiling. “You will want to look at this one, Brother.”

“This isn’t another erotic sandcastle is it?” he says.

Kalluto shakes their head, and Killua’s stomach lurches up his throat. Alluka has been the one excited about this whole thing. But Kalluto, as reserved as they are, is a massive romantic. The whole thing might be Alluka’s fault, but Killua knows it’s Kalluto who almost lets themselves believe it’ll work. Despite all of the false positives, the people who send messages that don’t sound right or photos that have the wrong smile.

Killua doesn’t want to hope. It can’t possibly be Gon. But his hands shake nonetheless as he unlocks his phone and finds a new message in his DMs.

It’s not from Gon.

Instead, someone with the icon of a small-billed white swan in a soft small-billed hat and a handle of @flymypretties has sent a photo of a brown-skinned man with spiky black hair absolutely covered in dirt and grime. He’s waving at the camera, a backpacking bag propped against his shoulder and the widest smile Killua has ever seen beaming straight through the screen and into his chest. Next to him and half out of frame, a tall tanned man with massive black eyebrows and a tank top showing off an impressive amount of muscle has his head in his hands. Killua feels a sharp stab of sympathy, somewhere buried beneath the racing of his heart.

look im sorry about this but this idiot can’t find his phone and we r kind of in the middle of nowhere so reception’s shit. he wants to know if you admit he found the biggest seashell on the beach, whatever that means.

For a long, long moment—seconds? minutes maybe?—Killua can do nothing but stare at the screen of his phone. Leorio and Kalluto both look at him with a mix of curiosity and worry, Kalluto starting to slowly reach for the phone.

In a completely childish protective moment, Killua grabs it against his chest, like the image will vanish if he doesn’t keep it close.

“Is it…?” Leorio asks.

Killua swallows heavily, trying to think around the roaring of the ocean in his ears. “I think so,” he says faintly.

Kalluto’s eyes widen, and they spin on their heels towards their room. “I’m calling Alluka!”

—————

“Has he responded?”

“No!”

“…what about now?”

Spinner throws her hands in the air so violently that her hat falls off. “For god’s sake, Gon, it’s been an hour, you don’t even have your phone, and you still need to go home.”

Gon huffs and pouts. They’re still in the parking lot over an hour after the rest of the trekking group has left, and all the exhaustion that had settled into Gon’s body from the tour has been turned into a jittery energy that keeps trying to leak out from under his skin. He wants to go home immediately and dig out his copy of the photo, rub out the old fingerprints he and Aunt Mito have left on it over the years. He wants to find his phone and message Killua directly. He wants to wait right here until Killua responds, no matter how long it takes.

He knows it’s childish, to be this selfish. Spinner has work to do, work that she already put on hold to help with the last day of the tour. Kite probably will want to know what’s happening, or at least why his lead guide and his chief guide organizer have been stuck in a parking lot. And Gon can practically feel Zushi’s obsessive scrolling through social media, frantically trying to navigate Gon’s feeds without actually having access.

Gon needs to find his phone.

“Spinner, what if—”

It’s not that Spinner’s a large woman. Out of the three people standing in the parking lot, Zushi’s far and away the strongest, even if he is about as threatening as a large, muscular teddy bear. And Gon has only packed on weight and muscle over his years of backpacking around the wilderness, no matter that he’s not super tall. But Spinner goes for longer, harder treks on her own than anyone but Kite, and she packs in her own climbing gear on top of that, so when she tosses Gon into the back of Zushi’s jeep, he flies.

“Zushi,” she says in a low exhausted snarl, and he jumps right off the hood of his car. Gon probably would have felt bad for him, if everything wasn’t spinning. “If you do not take your roommate home, I am not responsible for the consequences.”

“What if you hear back?” Gon groans around the aches in his side.

Spinner rolls her eyes, and Gon knows she’s just tired. “I’ll let you know.”

“But what if my phone’s gone? What will I do if someone stole it, or if I can’t—”

“I’ll call you go home already,” she says, and slams the door shut on his face.

For a long moment, the only sound is Spinner storming away, boots thudding heavily in the dirt until her car door slams.

The jeep shifts slightly as Zushi quietly lowers himself into the driver’s seat and puts the key into the ignition. Gon wants to tell him to follow Spinner, so she can yell out the window as soon as Killua gets back to her. But Zushi looks about ready to bolt. So Gon slumps back in the seat, the rumble of tires crunching through gravel making his already jittery nerves shake.

A small voice that sounds a lot like Kite tells Gon that it’s better to wait, that it will be easier to have a conversation and determine if this really is Killua after a rest and a shower.

Gon doesn’t want that, though. He wants…

It’s been a long time since he was on Whale Island. Longer still since he saw Killua. That doesn’t mean he stopped thinking about either of them, during the quiet moments out under the stars. They’re part of him, like his lungs are part of him—essential and irreplaceable, buried so far inside that removing them would change him irrevocably.

What is Killua like now? Is Gon just as important to him as he is to Gon? He has to be. Right?

They make it home without saying anything else. Gon floats in and out between bone-deep weariness and electric sparks of nervous joy, and Zushi flinches every time Gon jolts himself from one to the other.

“Hey, are you…I mean, maybe not okay, but.”

Gon lifts his chin up sharply at the sound of his roommate’s voice, and notices the familiar apartment complex in front of him. Oh, they’re home. “I’m good,” he says, and grins.

“Sure,” Zushi says like he doesn’t believe Gon.

A dubious silence stretches out between them as they gather the rest of the gear, dropping it in a heap on the sidewalk. “You were kids, though,” Zushi finally says.

Gon shrugs and slams the door shut hard enough to make the vehicle rattle. “I didn’t forget. So I don’t think Killua would, either.”

Zushi’s eyebrows wrinkle on each other, like they can’t decide whether to go up or down and settle on some combination of the two. “What if he did?”

“He didn’t,” Gon says, more sure of that than anything else in his life.

Zushi’s eyebrows dance again, but he doesn’t say anything else.

Between Gon’s camping gear and Zushi’s leftover practice pads, it takes longer than Gon’s excitement can take to get everything settled enough to look for his phone. Well, Gon would have liked to look for his phone, but Zushi makes a pointed look at the shower. There are only so many places the phone could be in the whole apartment, after all.

Gon’s just drying off when Zushi knocks on the door. “I found it, but it’s dead,” he says, voice muffled.

“Then charge it!” Gon shouts. After a moment, he adds, quieter and less snappishly, “Please?”

A faint laugh echoes through the apartment.

By the time Gon can make himself a very early dinner of whatever he could grab out of the cabinets without thinking, the phone is charged enough to turn on. Sure enough, there are a wide variety of messages, mostly from Kite’s groupchat asking about the viral post. A few are from former hikers, people who Gon liked enough to share contact info, offering to see if they can get in touch. There are even a few—okay, how did they get ahold of his old social media page? It’s practically defunct, since Gon’s never had a phone capable of more than the most basic apps. And those are…

It’s flattering in a way, but Gon’s not really into that. Or them.

Zushi catches sight of the grimace, and takes one look over Gon’s shoulder before turning beet red.

By the time he’s gone through and deleted the vast majority of what had been filling up his phone, there’s still no message from Spinner, and nothing at all from Killua. Gon sighs and lies his head down on the table with a heavy thunk.

The other chair scrapes heavily along the tiles as Zushi sits, a mug of coffee in his hands. “What will you do? When he messages you, I mean.”

When, not if, an unexpected certainty coming from Zushi. Gon has the best friends in the world. “Talk to him,” Gon says. “It’s only been fifteen years, right? We promised we’d be friends forever.”

“A lot changes in fifteen years,” Zushi says.

“Not that.”

“Then why didn’t you look for him?”

Gon frowns. It had taken a long, long time, but Aunt Mito managed to track down the cruise captain the last time they were in port, tracing through old charters until the right names came up. But when she’d called them up, she’d been met with stonewall after stonewall, pleasant-sounding voices insisting in no uncertain terms that she would never speak with a member of Killua’s family, let alone let her son speak to his friend. By the time Gon was old enough to look himself, he found nothing but a mansion full of people whose eyes matched Killua’s in everything except for his warmth, who refused to even acknowledge Gon’s presence except to throw him out.

That had been years ago. It’s not that Gon stopped looking. Not exactly.

“I did, but I—” Gon starts to say, but his phone buzzes violently against the table, and they both jump out of their chairs.

“Is it—?” Zushi asks, breath in his throat.

It’s a message from Spinner. you owe me big time, kid, she says, followed by a phone number.

Gon rips his phone off the cable, a wide smile spreading across his face. “It is,” he says, and dials Killua.

—————

bzz bzz—

bzz bzz—

bzz b—

“H-hello?”

“Killua! Hi!”

“…Gon? Is that—It’s really…?”

“Killua, it’s you, I thought I’d never—”

“I did find the biggest seashell, and you know it.”

A breath, sharp and astonished. “The blue and white one, with green lines.”

“I found it, and I gave it to you.”

“I still have it.”

A snort of amusement, slightly damp. “I know. You promised you’d keep it.”

“I did. And I promised—”

“That we’d be friends forever.”

A laugh, delighted and teary at the same time. “I knew you remembered.”

“I did promise you that I would.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

(AUgust prompts)

[angstalottle]

Wing Colour

Based on @lunarlangst Prompt

Re-posting because i have no idea what happened to the original cause I found this off google like wtf

——————

Of course everyone was curious about Lance’s wings. After all it was suspicious to keep them hidden all the time.

It also wasn’t healthy.

Every member of team voltron excluding the Alteans had wings in varying degrees of grey with Hunks the closest to white and Shiros almost black.

Oftern after training they would let their wings out to relax and stretch their aching muscles out from the long period of keeping them hidden.

After a particularly long session after which Pidge almost collapsed with relief at getting their wings out did they really begin to question why Lance was enduring such pain.

“Has anyone ever actually seen Lance’s wings” Pidge asked looking to the others.

“Now that you mention it no…” Hunk frowned his wings pudding up slightly.

“Oh come on somone must have seen them” Keith huffed “we’ve been up here for months no one could last that long… right?”

A sense of dread washed over the paladins, having ones wings away for more then a few hours can cause serious damage to the muscles that allowed you to fly, Lance could be crippling himself.

“We have to talk to him now” Shiro stood up and was about to go search for the blue paladin when the door opened and Lance walked through.

Everyone stared at him for a moment before they all began talking at once.

“Whoa! Calm down guys” Lance held up his hands looking around consfused “Shiro buddy what’s going on?”

Shiro stepped forwards placing his hands on his shoulders “none of us have ever seen your wings and we’re worried about what kind of damage your doing to yourself, look none of us care about the colour of your wings we just care about you.”

Tears filled Lance’s eyes as he stepped back out of his grasp.

Shiro was jolted with panic, Oh God what did he say wrong?!

“I…I don’t have wings anymore.”

“What?!” Keith yelled his eyes wide, he had heard that if someones wings were damaged badly enough they could have them removed, but hearing about something and having one of your friends tell you it happened to them is something very different.

“My… my dad was an alcoholic… he would hit me and my siblings and… and my m-mom, when I was twelve… I pushed him down the stairs to get him away from me. I swear I didn’t mean to kill him I just wanted him to stop…” Lance was sobbing now.

No one moved “your wings were black then?”

Lance shook his head “I killed someone to save my families life… one was black and one was white” he mumbled. “The church… they said I was a abomination so they.” His voice cracked and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Instead he turned around and brought out what was left of his wings.

Hunk promptly made a gagging noise as he threw up in a near by trash can.

Only two stumps one white and one black remained.

They were mangled, the cut unclean and clearly burnt to seal the wound. The signs of a struggle were there and with that the realisation that Lance was away when it was done to him.

“Oh God Lance.” Shiro whispered reaching out almost touching the stubs but stopped himself at the last second and instead pulled Lance into a hug “I’m so sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserved it, God no one deserved that.

Pidge joined the hug crying “I can build you new wings! Pure white ones you deserve!”

Hunk was next, he didn’t say anything but his prescience added helped.

Keith hung back for a moment before he too gave in and hugged his friend “I’m just glad your survived it… your so strong Lance your incredible.”

Lance didn’t stop crying until he exhausted himself.

The team spent the night in the lounge together and the next day Lance didn’t hide what was left of his wings after all he didn’t need to. His space family accepted them so maybe one day he could too.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 26 - watching notes

Got my tissues ready!

The lady episode felt about like a story arch ending. So I'm preparing for another major shift in tone right now

"Why are you everywhere?" Is JGY just a cursed goblin creature at this point, appearing everywhere to cause mischief? :D

I don't remember the name Su She at all ...

So is establishing one's own sect after having been taught by another considered defection or why is everyone acting as if inviting Su She was a massive faux-pas?

Honestly, official gatherings among the clans are always the most awkward parties imaginable

Exactly no one is enjoying themselves

Jin Guangshan's throne explains the peacock nickname they gave his son ^^

Also, he seems to insist on reminding Jiang Cheng of his "inferiority" in each interaction they have 😒

Ohoh, wwx coming to stir some shit up. This should be good

Nothing is funnier on this show then random, unnamed cultivators giving their unsolicited opinions on conversations they were not a part of 😂

Forcing other to drink is not cool

Jin Guangyao said it: Don't drink and sword-ride, kids!

Everytime he laughs, I like that random short-hairedsect leader less

Don't let them pressure you Lan Xichen!

All joking aside, I think Lan Xichen's unwillingness to stand up to someone who is basically telling him to betray his principles for no good reason, even in such a low-stake situation might be indicative of a general flaw of his. Maybe he is too focused on keeping the peace at all costs, even with those he disagrees with. Or I'm just reading too much into this.

Lan Wangji on the other hand...

Doesn't have to decide because WEI WUXIAN TO THE RESCUE! 😃

There is so many ways wwx just showed Jin Zixun the middle finger and I'm here for it! :D

Oooooohhhhh

So this is about his meeting with Wen Qing!

Oh Wen Ning, I'm so proud of you 🥺

I love the "comparing yourself to the heavens" exchange. Because that's exactly the kind of attitude the powerful clans exhibit.

I cannot tell you in words how might I love the fact that Wwx is putting his finger right in that wound by telling the Jin Clan that they act no better then the Wen clan

This is basically wwx during this scene

Only about 120% less cheerful

But seriously, at this point, he is very openly putting himself in the line of fire, while trying to protect those closest to him by pushing them away (to varying degrees of success).

Has someone catalogued all the ways lwj has said "wei Ying" sofsr, because this one killed me 😭

Argh, this is too much for my nerves right now 😬

Oh boy

That escalates quickly 😳

I did not think that threat would work.

Again, all grandiose in front of others, but he just look pained once he turns away

He's great at crashing parties though

Please let Wen Ning still be alive 🥺🥺🥺

I know hell die and become the ghost general. I'm in denial okay???

Oh Wwn Qing, my wife, my love 🥺🥺🥺

Nonononononon

I never want to see Wen Ning suffer again 🥺

Me when lwj publicly defended wwx

No seriously, this is the upside of having a reputation as someone who never speaks unless strictly necessary: When you do, there's a 50% increase of everyone loosing their shit

And this just, this killed me

Oh so everyone agrees with him, but no one dares to say it out loud? I'm calling it now, that's the reason wwx is eventually going to snap. Hard.

Oh no. Cheng. Don't

Dramatic rain ...

Oh no

No

No

These days wwx just has to look at someone for them to cower in fear

Wen Qing ...

My love ...

No

No

Full disclosure, I just put the phone away and cried for 5 minutes

I need a moment

Wtf kind of tests are their talking about?

No ...

Ate they committing a massacre on all these prisoners right now?

And they lie about it

Wwx's actor gives me chills. The tears, the grieve radiating off of him, the anger ... holy shit

Wen Ning 😳

This scene ...

What? He's not dead??

I think I have a new favourite scene

Holy shit

What just happened?

Did wwx just make a mistake and control wen Ning when he shouldn't have?

What's happening?

Lan Wangji to the rescue!

I'm so confused about what just happened with wen Ning

Oh no

Please let this not be a symbolic break up scene

He's going into exile with the wen prisoners? 😭😭😭

Noooo, you can't end it on that "Do you still remember the promise we made each other?" line!!!!!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird (you guys,I needed those tissues 😥)

[nobeliumoxygenoxygenmisc]

Main 6 with MC in the snow (HCs)

(modern au - these got long-ish so portia, muriel, and lucio are under the cut!)

Asra

Don’t lose him in the snow because asra’s hair is snow so be sure to keep your asra near you at All Times

snow snakes because faust (later when you facetime her, coz she’s being babysat by muriel, and show her the pictures of the snow snake she’s ecstatic its adorable “twins!”)

He always makes sure you’re bundled up enough but show the slightest shiver and he’s piling more layers on top

if you two go tobogganing down together, asra doesn’t realise anything he’s just kinda cuddling into you and ignoring how fast you’re going down

“asra i think we’re gonna fall” “hm??” asra we’re gonna fall ohmyg--” “you’re so warm y/n” “a s r a”

he says so many stupid snow related pick up lines tho

e.g. “asra where’s your scarf??” “hmm... oh looks like it lost it... can i wrap you around me instead?” “... asra did you lose it on purpose”  

or, you two make a snow angel “you’re the real angel here y/n”

Warm up cuddles later on!! Because you gotta!!

Depending on your skills, asra can either a) pretend he sucks at skiing etc. or whatever just so you can teach touch him a bit or b) become your teacher to “correct” your stance just so he can teach touch you a bit - he’s flexible like that

And you know he’s playing but it’s a good game

Nadia

Grace elegance and beauty even in the freezing cold

shes so happy to be able to have time with you in the snow because she’s so far away from her responsibilities and it’s just the two of you

You two make a fabulous snowman that … honestly looks really good wow

But the best part is not even out in the snow it’s when you’re both inside and you’re sipping your hot drink and nadia’s smiling at you and you’re like ??? and she just goes “You look charming MC” and you don’t quite believe her because your nose is running and your eyes are watery from the cold but nadia is so genuine that you’re not flushing just from the cold anymore

She’s super supportive when you go skiing/whatevering down and takes loads of pictures and videos and tells you you were amazing even if she’s already a pro at it

if you fall, nadia makes sure you’re alright first and foremost and frets just a bit before you reassure her you’re fine

if she falls (if that’s possible) she laughs it off and asks you to teach her with a very sly but subtle smile that makes you go >.>

on the snow lifts, she looks at you like flynn looked at rapunzal in that one tangled scene as you’re looking at the scenery

Julian

Snowball fights but julianised. So like every time you get a hit in he’s crying out in pain and dramatically falling to the ground because of course he is

You two probably reenact a death scene and it’s very very dramatic

“MC… remember i love you… my dear my sun my stars … not even the harsh coldness of this weapon of snow … could ever erase your warmth from my heart”

If they’re there, mazelinka and portia are not impressed but they do remark that you two are a match made in heaven considering you indulge in his drama

A few passerbys probably go wtf but it’s okay because you’re having fun with your dear, sun, and stars

And he does exude a sort of charisma so some kids aren’t afraid of taking a shot as well and its hilarious for them when he “dies” so this leads to a huge game of snowball fights and julian thinking he cant wait to have fun like this with your future kids

Going down the hill in whatever form more than likely ends up with julian on the ground with a face full of snow because he tried to do a trick five levels higher than his own

julian probably says stupid snow pick up lines like asra but his make you roll your eyes when he says it because he’s so smug and dramatic saying them

Portia

You two do everything there is to do in the snow

snow angels turn into snowball fights with portia making impressive fortresses and throwing snowballs with more force than someone her height should be able to use that turn into snowmen that collapse because you two are really just chucking as much snow as possible into one huge pile before just sculpting it into this vague humanoid shape that you two take one look at and go ...

“it kinda reminds me of vlastomil!! ” “maybe volta if you tilt your head..?” “oh! you’re so right y/n!” *snow figure collapses* both of you, in sync: “vulgora”

Go tobogganing down together and portia’s laughs and squeals are enough to last you the whole year who needs warm clothes or fireplaces when portia is the sun herself

of course that’s before she uses your weights to speed up as you go down and inevitably crash and burn and now she’s not so much squealing but screaming but still in joy let’s be real and now you’re not so much warm but panicking

The snow lift is fun but hopefully you’re not afraid of heights because portia unintentionally (or intentionally…) rocks your seat as she waves to people down below and probably gives you a mini heart attack when she holds the phone over the edge to take pictures

Muriel

You two are in your own little corner because there’s a lot of people so you should definitely find a quiet place but not to worry inanna is with you of course and the whole experience is very very soft and wholesome with muriel

the only person you’d leave the snow super unharmed with. everyone else are varying degrees of a mess

He won’t do snowball fights but if you join in with someone else’s he may be coaxed into making snowballs for you to launch from behind your little snow fortress that has to be big to cover your mountain boyfriend

comment on how adorable he is in his seventeen layers of clothing and he’ll shortcircuit like. “!!!! w-what?? ...it’s-it’s cold. stop smiling.”

Snow angels are just sad comparisons of your angel to his, really, and you have to convince him to do it because why?? whats the point of that??

and that’s if inanna doesn’t come over and trample them as soon as you two finish and get up because she’s curious

You two try to make a snow companion for her but the resemblance is … not uncanny

Still it’s enough to get pictures!!

Take the opportunity to cuddle more than usual indoors because you can use the excuse that you’re “cold so let’s cuddle” and maybe some puppy dog eyes thrown in so muriel’s conflicted but ultimately kind heart is compelled to warm you up

Lucio

snowball fights start off with one innocent ball that is a bit rougher than you’d like and then it snowballs into something bordering on vicious - people steer their families away from you two

at first he was just trying to annoy you but assuming you fought back, it is so on - good luck

If lucio wins he’s rubbing it in your face but if you win? He’s playing it off like “well it’s just a game anyway!” sure it is lucio sure it is

if a stranger throws a snowball at you, whether intentionally or not, he’s ready to protect you even from a little kid. no one can hit you with snowballs but him thank you very much

Snowboarding, skiing, whatever it is he wants to get to the bottom first. and lucio might not even be trying to win against you - someone passes him and he’s speeding the hell up

Take the snow lifts and he’ll take the opportunity to cuddle up with you under the guise of “don’t be scared MC, i’ve got you” but it’s more like you’ve got him if the lift stops and he’s like “what is going on??? Why have we stopped??? Has something happened?? This is ridiculous do they know who i am--” “lucio please--”

probably looks at you like miguel looked at tulio in that one road to el dorado scene

dare him hard enough to lick his arm and he would actually do it to show you he’s not a coward so like. your move

[magneticflower]

bake, sleepy, warm, and lay!

words that bring me comfort as somewhat comforting and somewhat unnerving asks

Answered sleepy and lay here!

bake - how chaotic do you think you are?

I suppose it depends on what context of chaotic. If it’s regarding organization, I am very chaotic and this has definitely been to my detriment and probably the detriment of others around me at some point or another. 

As a human being, I think I’m more chaotic in my thought process and the random stuff I let come out of my brain than I am in action. I will sometimes say the most ridiculous ish or go on a tangent about something only I think is worthy of having such a lengthy rant about at really random times and it just leaves the person that ended up stuck listening to me to be like ‘literally Sarah where did that even come from and why’  Luckily, most of my chaotic thoughts and ideas do not result in my following through with them in actual action.

Although, there have been times where I went with one of my chaotic spur of the moment thoughts like once when I was younger all I had to do was see my cousin walk passed my room (i think he was getting the mail idk) for my brain to be like ‘hide somewhere and scare the absolute heck out of him.’  That resulted in me hiding in a pile of clothes (I risked my life for a prank that day just by doing that I swear---) with a Halloween mask he had that only had one eye hole and waiting for him to show up again. I proceeded to slowly scratch the wall every few minutes and stop when he looked only until one time when he looked directly at the mask so I blinked and he absolutely jumped. His reaction caused me to fall out of the pile laughing. When he told my family all of them had an expression similar to this:

as well as “sounds fake but okay” energy over it until I confirmed it pfft Granted, that isn’t super wild but given how out of character it was for me it did have chaotic energy. 

In conclusion, I don’t think I’m wildly chaotic but I certainly have my moments. 

warm - do you curse a lot?

I actually do not curse at all. I mean, I use lmao and sometimes wtf so I guess that counts in a sense but like in verbal communication I don’t use any of them. If I’ve written a curse word or something it was for a character in a fic and that’s it. 

That isn’t to say that I’ve never let one slip on accident because there were a few times as a kid I accidentally said it or I was young and it was the first time I heard it so my brain was like ‘hey how about you try saying that out loud for fun’ --- a particularly perfect example of that is when I was 3 years old and I heard someone say ‘you’re a mf-ing a-hole’ and decided to repeat it to my mother that night after repeatedly telling her ‘Mama, I don’t say bad words’ throughout the day and you can imagine how well that went over for me. The level of self-sabotage that was though--- I can only assume toddler me was testing her for God knows what reason like I knew not to test her pfft

It’s honestly just a personal choice, pretty much everyone else in my family curses in varying degrees of intensity and frequency so it’s not some taboo sort of thing I just don’t use them. That isn’t to say they’re not in my head and they aren’t used within my head here and there, I just never vocalize them. 

Both of these answers were way longer than necessary, sorry about that, but thank you for sending these to me!!

[feenyreadscomics]

New movie plan for Team Red if the IP is ever released into the wild:

Eddie Brock and Matt Murdock go to the same church. This part follows POV Matt mostly, as Eddie and Matt make small talk about 1. Being Catholic, 2. Being New Yorkers, and 3. Having lived in San Francisco.

We also cut to Eddie a bit as his life goes through the crapper, and he goes to church to make his last confession when the Venom attaches to him.

So now you've got Eddie being a rampaging monster and trying to control the Venom symbiote a la the few clips I've seen from the Venom movie, and Matt trying to figure out why Eddie fundamentally smells Different (tm).

Enter Peter Parker who's trying to figure out who the fuck is in his old new suit, and recruiting Daredevil and Deadpool to help (Deadpool is here cuz that suit is one tough cookie).

Then Daredevil gets one good whiff of Venom, and is like "??????? The fuck??????? Eddie??????" And tries to pretend nothing happened but nope, something fucked up happened, and Matt Can't Stand It, and corners Eddie after Mass and is like "Look, I'm Daredevil, I have super senses, I smelled you, wtf is that thing attached to you????" And Eddie is like "haha what thing?" And plays it off as a non thing, and Matt plays along but isn't buying it.

So Daredevil goes to Team Red and is like "hey I think I know who Venom is" and the rest of the team is like "really? Who?" And Matt's like "Eddie Brock" and Peter is like "no fucking way, he's my coworker" and everyone is shocked.

So then Matt and Peter work on getting him some therapy, and it goes with varying degrees of success.

And the sequel is Matt moving to San Francisco like the Waid run comics (Foggy has cancer thing) and Eddie coincidentally moving there around the same time and Matt and Eddie being increasingly passive aggressive to each other

[bcfruitpals]

 Mixing fanart with OCs has not been working out for me on my main blog so here we are  Im gonna use this one mainly for fruitpals and maybe some fancharacters as well, its all gonna be categorized when done I prefer to post my old art first before posting the new content so most pics youve probably seen before, sorry about that main blog FA DA (is NOT up to date yet) freshes stuff usually on pat quick FAQ - who me?  Im 27, he/him  Call be BC or coroner. I need a pen name but i don’t have one lol Im friendly if socially inept, feel free to @ me. My response time is slow. - this blog minor friendly?   No, not really.   I don’t post porn and technically i my edgies work could probably go for NC-16 maybe? Internet says PG-13 but i dont believe them. I think the edgiest thing ive posted here was a full butt in a non-sexual situation, but im just Hugely uncomfortable with the idea of adolescents observing butts on the internet with their eyeballs. Im an old man, i don’t need this in my life oTL TLDR; I wont shame you just please use your discretion. - wtf is fruitpals  Basically pinup models. I dont write text, so i just need pretty looking people i can draw for comfort. They have personalities and all, but im really bad with giving them names or picking a one solid setting for them.  I made these characters for my comfort routine for mental health and i find putting them in one solid setting to be restrictive.  So im using codenames instead of giving them actual human names.  One of my oldest characters is Almond. His earliest physical characteristic was that he smells similar to almonds, very mild smell. So i just named him “almond”.  The rest of the characters were also named in similar vein. Its not all random, but its not super important either. And no, these are not the names they use in-universe when they talk to each other lol. It just meta lables because i can’t tag them as “the red one”, “the blue one”, “the other blue one” haha.  This has nothing to do with slur for gay people, im just bad with names. - women?  No women here. I don’t put past myself creating a genderfluid character that ventures into femininity zone, but i don’t have any currently.  Everyone i write are of varying degree of masculine, NB or agender.  I dont draw porn so feel free to assume the status of their pants party.  I do from time to time draw characters who are chubby with excess fat on the chest area so i understand any possible confusion. - you furry?  I dont identify as a furry.  I personally think that you need to actually kin with non-humans to be a furry, not just draw art.  Im only attracted to humans.  Would i want to be a 12ft tall alien with six hands? Sure, i would not mind it, but im happy as a human. Me being a human does not cause me frustrations.  The reason why i draw cartoony characters with non-human faces is that i have pretty bad scopophobia. When i draw human OCs i feel very judged, its discomforting. It does not work with non-human looking faces.  Plus, fun colours are fun and being creative with different anatomy rules is entertaining.  I don’t care what hobbies other people have and i don’t care if people see me as a furry. The reason why i don’t to call myself a furry or monsterfucker is because if aliens land on this earth and they are friendly and looked non-human i wouldn’t date one lol. Which kind of defies the purpose of being in these subcultures, no?  I have a side thing that i call reverse furry, its pretty much sums up all of the parts im attracted to in humans with the creativity that non-human characters afford. - can i tag your pics as kin/fem/wlw or use it for my projects?  Sorry, but it’s a firm no.  When i post fanart on my main blog i love when people like it enough to tag as kin. And i dont mind when people tag my fan art as fem/wlw - im just happy i made people happy and what headcanons they have is literally none of my business.  However, this blog is specifically made for my personal works. And im not comfortable with these things happening around my personal works.  Thanks for your understanding.

[r6shippingdelivery]

What's the probability of an op having to explain vore to Tachanka? Also, who would do it?

The probability is pretty high, but only if someone uses that word within earshot of him, like let’s say, Smoke you know he is one of the prime candidates to say something like that, c’mon! This prompts the dreaded question of “wtf is vore?”, followed by a heavy silence and everyone else looking at each other in varying degrees of either confusion or fear. Eventually, someone answers “I think it’s like swallowing someone whole”, to which Tachanka just nods and says “да, in my days we just called it deepthroating”, which causes everyone to lose their shit and start laughing.