#the real demons john was fighting was bisexuality

[burstbub]

I cried

[unholypassages]

sister evangeline

NAME. Katherine Kim CHOSEN NAME: Sister Evangiline AGE. 28 BIRTHDAY. December 24th ZODIAC SIGN. Capricorn

BIRTHPLACE. Unknown

PLACE OF LIVING: Rome, Italy but travelling all the time

ETHNICITY. unknown

ALLIGNMENT. lawful neutral

OCCUPATION. nun, demon hunter

GENDER. female

PRONOUNS. she/her

SEXUALITY. bisexual

FAMILY. unknown

RELATIONSHIP. married to god (single as fuck)

PHYSICAL.

Standing at 164 cm (5'4"), Sister Evangeline has a compact, athletic build, honed through years of training in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat. Her mahogany hair and striking mahogany-gold eyes lend her an intense, enigmatic presence. Her scent is a mix of candle wax, old books, and rosewater—a subtle reminder of her life within the cloisters of Rome and her undying connection to the Church.

PERSONALITY.

Sister Evangeline is disciplined, stoic, and deeply committed to her faith, carrying out her duties with the precision and devotion of a soldier. Years of indoctrination in the Church’s strict, unwavering doctrines made her dutiful and unwavering in her mission. Yet, her encounters beyond Rome, especially with John Constantine, have gradually begun to awaken doubts about the world she was raised in. Beneath her obedient surface, there’s a quiet yearning for freedom, tempered by loyalty and responsibility. While outwardly dedicated, she’s silently grappling with existential questions about purpose, morality, and the true nature of faith.

BACKGROUND: Sister Evangeline was handed over to the Vatican at the age of three, following a powerful vision her parents claimed to receive, instructing them that their daughter was meant to serve God. She never knew her real name, origins, or her parents, as they left without a trace, trusting the Vatican’s cloisters to raise her. The Church gave her a new identity as “Sister Evangeline,” and from that moment on, she was trained rigorously in two things: complete faith and relentless combat against demonic forces.

Evangeline grew up within the stone walls of the Church, almost like a living weapon. She traveled the world performing exorcisms and hunting demons, executing her role with a robotic, unwavering fervor. This was her only purpose, her only sense of identity—until she met John Constantine, a demon hunter who, while a believer, carried his faith loosely, far more relaxed in his work than she was accustomed to. His irreverence unsettled her and stirred questions she had never allowed herself to consider.

Before she left Rome, the Church entrusted her with an ancient relic: a vial containing the Blood of Eve, said to be from the first mother of humankind. The blood was meant to eliminate even the most powerful demons, and she was given strict instructions to guard it with her life. However, over time, she learned that the Vatican’s intentions weren’t entirely pure—they aimed to use the blood for political means, targeting individuals they deemed “undesirable.” This revelation shook her faith in the Church, even if it didn’t shake her faith in God.

With Constantine as a trusted companion, she now operates independently, protecting the vial and continuing her fight against evil. But the further she strays from the Vatican’s grasp, the more she questions the very doctrines she was raised on. Though her sense of duty is unwavering, a seed of doubt about her purpose as a nun grows stronger with each passing day—a feeling she keeps buried beneath relentless work and iron discipline.

ABILITIES:

Combat Proficiency: Trained in various forms of martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, Evangeline is highly skilled at both defending herself and eliminating demonic threats with precision.

Exorcism Expertise: Years of rigorous training in religious rites make her an exceptionally capable exorcist, able to confront and expel dark forces from the possessed.

Guardian of the Blood of Eve: The vial of Eve’s blood is a relic of immense power, capable of eradicating even the mightiest of demons. Evangeline serves as its protector, wielding it carefully, knowing its potential for misuse.

Strong Spiritual Connection: As a medium, she is sensitive to supernatural entities and can sense the presence of evil, a skill that aids her in tracking down demonic activity.

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

How To Fall In Love (For Dummies)

How To Fall In Love (For Dummies) https://ift.tt/0kGwYUX by incandescentlifeline Dean Winchester hates fall. And winter. And spring. He hates it all, honestly. But at least he gets free coffee from The Rusty Patched Bumblebee, and bagels every morning (courtesy of his roommate). No, he’s not falling in love with his roommate. God, what a cliché. Ew. Or Castiel is trying to run his coffee shop in peace, but when Dean Winchester becomes his best friend and roommate, that all devolves into madness. He didn’t know just how different his life would be with Dean in it. And just how hard he would fall for him. He knows, such a cliché. Dear Lord. Words: 2822, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Endverse Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Bobby Singer, Jack Kline, Claire Novak, Eileen Leahy, Crowley (Supernatural), Real Human Meg Masters | Demon Meg's Host, Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak, Castiel/Real Human Meg Masters | Demon Meg's Host, Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Additional Tags: LGBTQ Character, Trans Male Character, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Trans Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer is Dean and Sam Winchester's Parent, dean needs a goddamn hug bro, someone give him a hug, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Castiels special interest is bees fight me, castiel is a certified cat lover, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, it’s not THAT sad I don’t think but like be warned, praying I don’t get hit by author curse by posting this, Supportive Bobby Singer (Supernatural), we love you Bobby singer, Abusive John Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Absent John Winchester, I hate you John Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Everyone Is Gay, Not beta read no one i know shall ever see this, I hope, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/Maz5Esn June 05, 2024 at 09:48PM

[dantelionwishes]

you've activated my TRAP CARD: ACTOR AU

hikari kamino

horror genre movie actor!

has played several roles such as: the badass side character (TM), a paranormal detective's assistant, part of a main teen cast, final girl, and even a slasher! (HER HEIGHT IS INFAMOUS)

her height is very VERY real and so she gets cast as the antagonist quite often

has roles in movies similar in genre to slasher films, or stuff like psychological horror, or even plain old demon/ghost/monster movies

started out young as a child actress who was a possessed kid and she gained popularity from there

"have you tried getting a prosthetic on your face that is meant to be chopped off and bleed on-screen? have you tried walking in a heavy, hulking costume you can barely see or walk in while carrying another actor?"

she's so used to dark and broody sets that she jokes about how the bright and lively atmosphere of this series is so foreign to her

loved the wig so much she put red streaks in her hair

she's so used to being so scary and intimidating and chasing away her fellow cast members that she ends up stuttering her lines cos she literally has no idea how she ended up with this role (good thing the stuttering is in character, they end up keeping it)

actually pretty calm and scary, I'd imagine it's hard to approach her knowing she can easily pic you up or scare you half to death

makoto shiba

stand-up comedian!

bro they didn't have to audition HAHAHAHA they were selected for a role cos they were such a popular comedian

that acting? nah dude that's not acting that's just them 😭😭😭

likes doing instagram/facebook live when they get the makeup on them

DYED THEIR HAIR FOR THE ROLE COS HELL YEAH

probably does pranks on set (IM TELLING YOU ITS JUST. THE SAME)

childhood sweethearts with moa's actress and convinced the directors to make them kiss kiss fall in love

the most active one on social media for sure

just imagine john mulaney LITERALLY JUST REPLACE EVERY SCREENSHOT OF HIM WITH THEM AND THAT'S IT THATS THEM ALRIGHT

MOST OF THEIR LINES ARE JUST THEM CRACKING JOKES AND IT'S 100% OFF SCRIPT BUT ITS SO FUNNY THE DIRECTORS KEEP IT 💀💀💀💀💀

A lot of bloopers of them spouting different lines for the same scene HABSNWNEJ TOO MANY JOKES UP THEIR SLEEVE

probably really REALLY good at voice acting

osamu sato

popular romance actor!

VERY VERY VERY CHARISMATIC he's practically sparkling when he speaks and gives everyone bisexual panic

so him needing to be a scary strict teacher came outta nowhere

pretty boy who always comes out with a high ranking on most dateable/hottest bachelor

watch fans riot when they literally hide his face 24/7 with sato's mask LMAOOOOOOO

and all the piercings are fake HAHAHAHSH

closeted bisexual who had a LOT of roles starring as the main male bachelor to be paired with a female for a love team

got the role and was surprised his character was engaged with the series' all might so yes all their lovey dovey stuff was acting.......at FIRST

its revealed that toshinori actually picked sato's actor for all might's fiance cos he fancied him 😳😳😳

sato has a rule to never date co-workers from his romance movie roles but ...toshinori isn't from any of his romance movies 😏

paparazzi found them in a bar after hours once

miss me

famous idol/singer!

you know how miss me doesnt have a lot of content compared to the other three? haha HDSHGRSFG WATCH ME MAKE AN ACTOR AU EXPLANATION WHY

she's a very very very famous a-list idol/artist so the studio cant actually pay her so much for every single appearance she makes HAHJDGHJRF

imagine it like. lil nas x on a television show for a cameo every now and then or how nicki minaj was sugilite ONCE on steven universe HHGRJDGR

speaking of lil nas x she's probably popular AND infamous also because she really is trans and disabled! she fights for her rights and the haters hate her all the while she gets more and more popular from her very cool representative songs

does a lot of charity concerts

if there was an opening song and ending song, it's most likely she had performed them herself as part of her new album

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Castiel - First on his mind - 13x01 - 13x05 - Destiel Canon in Early Season Thirteen

So I’m still not over this.  The confession before the confession. This is the moment that I completely stopped questioning whether Destiel was canon.  At the end of season 12 Dean has just lost everyone but Sam at once. There is not much whiskey spilled for Crowley, and Sam is unwilling to accept the loss of Mary, but neither of those are what Dean is focused on.

Dean prays to god - to chuck - I think for the only for only the second time in the entire series. Dean prays in earnest for the return of Castiel.  He mentions others but he has just lost his mother and yet his first demand is “and now you’re going to bring HIM back. You’re gunna bring them all back.”  

Dean mentions everyone, his family, bobby, even Crowley, but he starts with Castiel.  It parallels Castiel’s first version of the 15x18 deathbed confession in 12x12.  “I love you. I love all of you.”  A mirrored response.

Below the cut for full analysis of Dean’s prayer, grief, and closet themes in the first 1/4 of season 13.

Dean’s prayer goes unanswered and he beats the door up in a visual homage to brokeback mountain (x). It is at this point chronologically that Dean completely loses his shit.  In the car on the way to the pirate stop Dean is unable to say the words out loud. 

 “Let’s see, Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cass is... ... Mom’s gone, and apparently the Devil’s kid hit puberty in 30 seconds flat.” 

Sam asks if Cass is really dead and unable to say those words Dean goes stoic as he can and says, “you know he is.” Dean’s upset, very upset, and that grief and anger is not focused on Mary.

Dean gains a tiny instantaneous moment of hope from a demon who then completely smashes it.

After his prayer Dean becomes completely inconsolable, an angry vengeance machine, the killer he used to project himself to be.  The change is supposed to be such a plot point, such a surprise twist, that it is only revealed LATER that it happened.  Such a major plot point that it must be teased and foreshadowed, with Sam asking Dean, “Dude, whatdiyou do to your hand?”  Giving the viewer their third clue that Dean did not have this cut on his hand from the fight with Lucifer and Jack.

Dean spends five full episodes without Castiel after dropping to his knees beside Castiel in 12x23, and in that time we see Dean unravel.  

In 13x01 he no longer cares about secrecy, immediately explaining the situation to the sheriff.  We see him choosing to approach Castiel’s body alone, looking upon him with such deep pain, tenderly wrapping, pausing multiple times to steel himself so he can finish that task.  Sam continues to get more and more concerned for Dean’s mental state.  Dean taking out his anger and rage and grief all on newborn Jack who continues to do nothing wrong and idolizes Dean.  

We see Dean drink himself under the table, rage against Sam and Jack, and actually become suicidal, killing himself in an unnecessary way with a flimsy excuse.  Billie sees it and notes something has changed.  He no longer believes he can win and no longer wants to live.     

At the shifter Psychiatrist, Dean says that Sam is delusional because Sam won’t admit that Mary is dead, “If he admits it then it’s real. If it’s real, then he has to deal with it, and he can’t handle that.”  Yet we repeatedly see Dean trails off unable to say the words that Castiel is dead.  This is not how Dean has reacted to the loss of Sam, John, Mary, Charlie, or any other familial loved one. 

In his loss of Castiel, Dean becomes John in the aftermath of his loss of Mary. Dean becomes the abusive father to Jack that he himself grew up with.  Jack has a moment of self harm and Dean ‘comforts’ Jack by telling him he’ll kill him so he can’t hurt anyone else. 

Jody’s Speech to Patience - In Contrast to Dean’s

In addition to Dean’s grief the writers show Dean struggle with his identity - with whether to stay in the closet.  In the third episode of the season - Patience - Dean tells Patience to deny who she really is. 

“This life, [hunting] there’s no joy in it there’s nothing but pain horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.”   

Jody corrects Dean. In disbelief.  “You don’t have to listen to him, to either of them if it’s not what you really want.” Jody then talks about her daughter Claire, her gay daughter Claire.  

“I asked her to stay in line, to fight who she really was ‘cause I thought it would keep her safe. It didn’t work. It never does. ... you try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable.”

If that isn’t a blatant acknowledgement of the metaphor I don’t know what is.  This stopped being subtext and became... text.  Jody has dropped Dean clues about overcoming toxic masculinity before. In 12x06 Jody and Dean talked about big feelings, and that conversation was preceded by Dean beings shocked that Jody could be both badass & like chick flicks at the same time.  She’s been teaching him. However, this time was much more directly and specifically about coming out of the closet, about living in a way that is true to yourself.

After the loss of Castiel, the Dean that had developed over 12 years was gone - and he only returns upon the return of Castiel, right in time for tombstone. 

Meanwhile we get Castiel’s side - where he is being tortured by the Empty with his love for Dean and his fear that Dean doesn’t love him in return. 

Everytime Dean can't say Cas is dead I die a little inside.

"...no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or -- or Bobby or... And I would take the hit."

"...and now Mom and ... and Cas... And I -- I don't know. I don't know."

Dean was in love with Cas. Dean is bisexual. Dean has spent 12 years unwilling to admit it. 

Dean had been repeatedly lit in orange in the car rides, but the second he believes Castiel is alive his face is inexplicably relit in white light.

We then come to the final shots of the episode - where the camera COMPLETELY IGNORES SAM and focuses exclusively on zoom in reaction shots between Dean and Castiel while “It’s never too later to start all over again” plays in this conclusion to a five episode romantic longing and grief arc completely platonic reunion between two dude bros.  

We also see the Orange Light / Dean’s Ongoing Fear of Loss Motif come to it’s climax, the burning of Castiel’s body (13x01), and Castiel’s return (13x05).

I legitimately don’t know what the writers thought they were doing if they WEREN’T explicitly writing a romance story.

It was much later that we learned there was an angle we never got of their reunion, where Dean was cupping Cas's face and neck in his right hand.

But we do get the look on Dean's face in 13x06 when he's able to get his arms around Cas after he's deflected and called Cas 'Pal' again, Gif via @inacatastrophicmind

Bonus - Dean’s stages of grief by @mariethalienne

[sins-of-the-sea]

What do you mean by "those who tried to stop it but failed?" Please elaborate.

Sigh. This is going to be heavy. I apologize.

A very underrated and underappreciated element of history is the history of actual allies, including abolitionism. Allies existed. Allies have always existed. The problem is that they are often demonized as terrorists, extremists, and traitors. They are not the "norm" of the period, sure, but like trans people and freed slaves, they existed. I very clearly remember how John Brown was taught to me in high school US history class as a bloodthirsty terrorist and not a man who, after years of using actual peaceful methods, tried to lead the movement of ending slavery only to be captured, tried, and executed. All this was done not because he wanted to be performative for black people or be "woke", he did it out of genuine desire to end slavery in the United States. Method is a different thing altogether; what matters most right now when it comes to allyship history is intent and existence, as otherwise, like many other parts of history, it is often erased or warped.

Josep was deliberately written with inspiration of historical sympathizers of the persecuted and colonized despite being born of Spanish nobility and initially wanting to explore the New World. He does not do it to perform. He does not do it to be woke. He genuinely gets out of his way, with the threat of death, to try to help people who need to be helped. He didn't stab the noble torturing a New World native because he wanted to impress natives, he did it because he was mortified and acted out of personal trauma of being harmed as well. He's a human being who sees other people not like him as human beings. And he is not alone, even when he feels he is.

Part of why it's so hard to be allies these days, even for those who are genuine in wanting to be supportive, is because we still treat allyship as a very recent and new thing, then become harsh towards those who are still learning or deprogramming. The story of Gisela is based off real parents I know who WANT to be supportive but don't know HOW in an oppressive environment. Intersectionality is also often ignored because we are so quick to yell at people to 'stay in their lanes'. So often we are quick to dismiss allies as people who just want praise for being good people when there are those who are genuine in their support and want to help.

Note how I write the Seven. You have it all. A mixed-race couple in a time where miscegenation is not only deeply frowned upon but even illegal in many places--if Josep and Abena are discovered to be in love and were mortal, they will be chased down and killed. You got PoC in one black, one Asian, and one Middle-Easterner. You got mentally ill. You got Jews and a Muslim. You got poverty-stricken and disgraced nobility. A woman and one who privately questions his gender. A gay man, two bisexuals, a pansexual, and a demisexual. No matter how you put it, the Master is right in one regard: they are not welcomed in the world for who they are. Even if they're not pirates or criminals, they will ALWAYS find persecution and isolation. Each of them were forced into a life of villainy. And despite all this, where are their most sympathetic and arguably heroic traits? It's in their refusal to abandon each other. They will fight the ends of the Earth to support each other, even though not everyone is a woman, or a Jew, or gay, or whatnot. WE may welcome them now in the modern world. But this is why history is so important--to see how far we come, goddamn appreciate it, and work on what else needs to be worked on.

I will always remember this particular photo and cherish it in my heart.

Christians. Protecting Muslims. How often does that happen? Not often and I will cherish this moment all the way into my grave.

Always appreciate your allies. No one wants to fight against injustice alone.

[fuckyeahmercury]

Why are people saying BoRhap is homophobic?

it’s probably because the movie misrepresented the whole story of Freddie Mercury, a famous gay rock star who not only lived through the AIDS crisis but sadly died from the disease itself. Freddie really was the first major rock star to die from AIDS so, to make a movie about him and not cover the AIDS crisis properly is a huge blow. the biggest problem in the movie is that it carries the message "if you're gay and love to party, eventually you'll die". it's portrayed as if Brian, Rog, John, Mary Austin or any other heterosexual person involved with Queen never liked partying and social gatherings.

I've only seen the movie twice but I remember my first impressions being that Freddie is constantly "fighting" with two sides. the first side would be 'bad (homosexual) people', who introduce Freddie to the sinful world of promiscuous partying (which inspires Freddie to force Queen to make an awesome disco album), with Satan himself, Paul Prenter as the main villain. this side is mainly shown in a very predatory and immoral way with scenes of just partying and drugs (as if that's the one and only aspect of every gay person) and Freddie misbehaving once he explores his sexuality. another side would be a group of 'good (heterosexual) people' who want to help Freddie and the only real family Freddie has (Queen and Mary Austin) but Freddie is being an arrogant idiot and fights with them most of the time. it's all just very dramatic, especially the scenes with Mary whose main job is to be Freddie's saviour from the ‘bad side’. basically it's all between good and bad and you can guess which one is which. as movie progresses, Freddie succumbs to the ‘bad side’ and he finds out he will die. the movie tells you that if Freddie stayed with Mary and didn't fight so much with members of Queen and wasn’t a bitchy diva, he wouldn't catch the AIDS virus. it's almost as if it was his fault for embracing his sexuality. he will pay the price with his own life. but first ... let’s go get a drink and do Live Aid? yeah, the timeline is terrible omg

anyway, it's not the best way to represent the life not only of Freddie Mercury, but the whole community that has been made to feel guilty for being affected with AIDS. Paul Prenter died of AIDS penniless the very same year as Freddie, still every fan hates him. I'm not saying that he was this amazing person but to put all the weight of Freddie's life and death on to shoulders of some random personal assistant gay man, who has been dead for almost 30 years and can't speak for himself now, is a bit unfair. because I bet Freddie has gone through life with so many people (not necessarily gay or bisexual) who treated him badly and were a bad influence and yet, they don't get a single mention in the movie. the movie is full of inaccuracies anyway so it's no surprise that so many other important friends and even lovers who Freddie had serious relationships with aren't mentioned or shown at all, except for Jim. and their love story has been reduced to a minimum.

I guess what's confusing to you and to so many others is how could anyone say that a celebratory movie about a gay man is homophobic when there's no actual homophobic scenes or slurs in the movie. true, I don’t remember any such scenes (correct me if I’m wrong), but as you can see if you logically put some real-life facts together, you can tell the movie is not really celebrating Freddie's life, it actually demonizes it. it's been said that this is why Sacha Baron Cohen, who was supposed to be the main man to play Freddie, opted out of the movie because he felt it wasn't a genuine Freddie Mercury and Queen story...

[just-castlevania-imagines]

My Thoughts on Castlevania S3

So I cant sleep, I've binged this series twice now & I really need to get this out. For context on me as a person, I am an LGBT+ WOC (specifically Asian & bisexual). Castlevania is my favourite game series + the reason why I pursued Game Design as my career. The show means the world to me & I thoroughly enjoyed s3 for the most part. I acknowledge the flaws & these r just MY opinions, they do not reflect the other mods intentionally in anyway.

The art + animation was so CLEAN. There was not one scene that did not take my breath away. The attention to detail was phenomenal I have no words to describe it.

Some of the best fight scenes ever just ridiculous, it's like john wick. The action is upped every installment + its just so CLEAN

The entire team puts so much time + effort Into making Sypha such an enjoyable badass it's so amazing. I am never disappointed with her, never ever.

The lesbians. Striga & Morana, god I wish that were me.

Isaacs character arc was so good. Like the budget really went to Sypha + Issac this season LOL

Sumi + Takka, they meant so much to me. I love them, I really do. I cant say I'm not hurt seeing them at the end. I'm actually very hurt, my heart aches. I never thought I'd get to see representation like that in a series that I loved but felt idk invisible to. LGBT Asians in a historical setting outside of Asia, it was just...a dream for me. I fell in love w/ them instantly & I think that's why I tend to over look their faults a lot.

But when you see yourself on screen in something you've dedicated years to & you're just finally seen its...its so hard. The last time I felt this full was Shiro from V*ltr*n and we know how that shit went down. Idk I'm happy for what I recieved, grateful even, for however short it was. I loved their characters, i love sumi + takka i just wish they got a better ending. They all deserved better

More info on Cho I really oof I could not have asked for more. This bitch was so extra & I love her

That music score, the sound design. Bruh I can't even with all this TALENT

I call episode 9 the Fuckening

The Portals to different worlds really confuses me but I am here for it, I hope it's just like an Easter egg to their future projects or that the writers were all high around then

I see u w/ that jojo reference, I bet you think ur all so slick

Hector's entire story arc, wtf was that? My guy you can't be like "Oh humanity is evil and stupid and eats shit" and then be that gullible I-ooof u frustrate me u beautiful boy. Like s2 implies he burns his family alive & I'm sitting here deadass like how the fuck did u even pull that off

The forgemasters being called pretty + their reactions were priceless

I want Richter Armitage to read me a bed time story

Trevor, Isaac & Sypha r just so well done this season

THE. HORSES. ARE. HEALTHIER.

Isaac rode a demonic purple unicorn around the world, he's my fucking hero

Alucard a confirmed bottom + bisexual thank u

The sex scenes were juxtaposed to the intense fighting but it felt awkward to watch but it was also very fitting in an odd way????

The dolls were hilarious

I learned a lot about toilet paper

The Judge being like "no kids run around in my village" is the equivalent to Mr. Mosby from Suit Life of Zack & Cpdy being like "dont u run in my lobby" AND I CALLED IT OUT AND AND WAS RIGHT

This show has taught me to never trust bald, old white men w/ interesting voices

Carmilla was just a hot ball of anger for the most Part & got annoying real fast, but that night robe tho. That was everything

I liked Lenore's character trope. Being that sweet innocent looking one, but shes really just this cruel evil bitch. Like everyone complains about Carmilla but at least shes evil to ur face until this fake bitch over here

Takka doesn't do mornings? Niether do I

Alucards wardrobe upgraded from deep Vs to fluffy Victorian Lestat cosplay

I really really want an empire run by 4 vampire sisters. Like I know they're all evil, cruel bitches but the sisterhood they showed for each other is such a goal. Women supporting women is amazing I just wish they weren't the fucking villains

A lot of my gripe is that all the rep I want & thirst for all falls into a negative category in some way/shape/form

This whole season feels more like a bridge to season 4. Kinda like a season full of fillers.

The ending hurts me I'm several ways, but objectively it is a haunting image and it really invokes so much on it's own w/o context backing it. W/ it tho, even more mindblowing and heartbreaking

Thank you so much for pronouncing Kolkata properly

I'm always blown away by character designs ur doing great sweety

The angel has the juiciest ass

Where the fuck is Cezar?

Aight I think that's all for now. If you got issues then come to me about it, not the other mods. But I'll let u know I will not tolerate racist shit (which I've gotten on IG already). I really needed to dump these feelings out. I stan Sumi & Takka, I love them and I'll carry all that on my own if I have to.

- Sincerely Mod Wall Chicken

[type40thiefoflight]

In honor of whatever the heck that sad excuse of a finale was, here’s a list of all the things I wish had/hadn’t happened over the course of the series:

Elaboration the Bloody Mary plot-line. Dean’s eyes bled when she appeared, meaning he felt guilty over someone’s death, but we never got to see whose.

Remember the one and only time they used “Christo” to identify a demon? Why didn’t they keep that up?

Rendering three of the horsemen powerless. Did they get replaced after Dean took their rings or are they still around and just less powerful?

Dean making Castiel erase Lisa’s and Ben’s memories.

Ben is Dean’s son and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Dean finally got the amulet back after Chuck appeared to him and Sam as God. Why didn’t he start wearing it again?

Chuck should have started out as a normal prophet that eventually became God’s vessel. This would explain his total behavioral shift from mousey to  arrogant and cocky. I think the possession would have happened after Raphael destroyed him and Castiel. Did Raphael really strike you as the kind of guy to have mercy on a human, even if he was a prophet of the lord? Chuck didn’t miraculously survive the attack. He was wiped out like Castiel was and God reconstructed his body like he did with Castiel in Stull Cemetery, then took Chuck’s place.

People who shouldn’t have been introduced/brought back:

The Campbells. The whole point is that it’s just the brothers and Castiel against the world. Sometimes their friends are there. We already knew from the flashback that Mary’s family behaved similarly to how John got after her death. There didn’t need to be more of that.

Bobby Singer. He died for Sam and Dean and even in death they still dragged him into their problems. Let the man rest already.

Gavin MacLeod: Didn’t need to be there. He showed up as a ghost once and his story-line seemed pointless.

Mary Winchester. Her story-line ended when she, as a ghost, sacrificed herself to fight off a poltergeist terrorizing the Winchesters’ old house.

Lucifer. His characterization post-Hallucifer was completely different and felt like watching a totally different character.

John Winchester: Should have stayed in Hell. He was an abusive father and didn’t deserve the reunion brought on by Dean wishing on the pearl.

People who should have been brought back/shouldn’t have died at all:

Bela Talbot: She wasn’t the nicest but she didn’t deserve that, Dean.

Ash: Just because his name is Ash doesn’t mean he had to become it.

Pamela Barnes: Cool characters with cool powers and actual personalities aren’t allowed to live.

Ellen and Jo Harvelle: Fans were so mean they got killed off to protect them from potential future bad writing and hate.

Balthazar: I really don’t remember why Castiel killed him but I liked him.

Rufus Turner: Did Bobby really have to get possessed by the Khan worm?

Bobby Singer: Couldn’t they have parked that van a little closer so he could have time to close the van door?

Amy Pond: Needing extra fresh food (human organs) for her sick son isn’t a good reason to kill her, Dean. It was a one-time thing.

Emma: Why couldn’t they have taken more time talking her down and gotten her away from the Amazonians? Sam, that is your NIECE!

Charlie Bradbury: Burying your gays isn’t cool, you guys.

Benny Lafite: Dean or Benny could have used dream root to contact Sam or Bobby and tell them the way out.

Kevin Tran: The whole Gadreel thing was dumb anyway but did he really think killing one human would impress Metatron?

Linda Tran: Not dead, just disappeared. What happened to her?

Krissy Chambers: Also not dead, but where did she go?

Tessa the reaper: Since when are reapers angels? There’s a specific way to kill them and it’s not angel blades.

Death: If Gabriel’s smart enough not to let someone get a hold of his real weapon then the horseman of death certainly is.

Gabriel: There’s no way he’s really dead. His second death was exactly like the first one and I believe Lucifer knew that when he saw AU Michael “kill” him. He waited until the coast was clear then got away.

Meg: Lead characters’ romantic interests aren’t allowed to live I guess.

Joshua: He and the Garden of Eden should have played a bigger role, maybe when they had to deal with Eve in season 6.

Crowley: They should have found another way to complete the ritual. Actually, weren’t they by a lake? They could have just stabbed a fish.

Missouri Moseley: Stop bringing back cool characters just to immediately kill them off.

Rowena MacLeod: Terrible mother, wonderful character.

Donatello Redfield: Not dead, just vanished. Where did he go?

Amara: Not really “killed” but absorbed even though that didn’t really give Chuck as much of a power boost as it should have. Adam Milligan: You’ll move Heaven and Hell for Sam but forget about your other brother? I get you’re jealous that he had a real relationship with John, but come on Dean.

Michael: The relationship between him and Adam was cool and I wanted to see it expanded on.

Donna Hanscum and Eileen Leahy: I would have liked confirmation that they were brought back when Jack reversed Chuck’s Thanos snap.

Castiel: I repeat: burying your gays bisexuals isn’t cool. (I say bisexual because remember Meg?)

Dean: His Mystery Spot deaths were sadder than that. For the third time: Burying Your Gays Bisexuals Isn’t Cool.

[leverage-ot3]

to all the leverage fans out there, I thought I’d throw out some recommendations of other shows that y’all might like

this is completely centered around the lgbt aspects of leverage (how none of the characters are straight, how there is a canon ot3, etc), because I know other people have recommended white collar and stuff but I haven’t personally seen that and I’m just a humble lgbt wanting to share more gay shows with y’all

1. wynonna earp (my sideblog is @angelicearps)

just renewed for a fourth season after two years (this feeling is very familiar to leverage fans)

the first episode of season four aired last night and IM SCREAMING the writers served us a five course meal

the main love story includes waverly earp, a CANON (officially as of 4.01) bisexual girl falling in love with nicole haught, a lesbian cop-turned-sheriff (that’s a slight spoiler, so sorry about that) and both of them are main characters

wynonna earp, another main character, has a complicated relationship with two different men and is not slut shamed for it and is never put down about it

I’m serious- the healthiest and most stable relationship in the show is between waverly and nicole, so wlw nation rise

wynonna and waverly are descendants of the great gunslinger (and demon killer) wyatt earp, who ended up getting a curse on his future generations. the story of the show is centered around wynonna being the chosen heir having to fight demons and try to break the curse for good

doc holiday is another main character- yes, that doc holiday. he’s one of wynonna’s love interests and he has such a pure and loving relationship with waverly. he’d literally die for her and move heaven and hell to make sure she’s safe (that’s literally canon)

jeremy comes in around season two if I remember correctly. canon gay. gets in a relationship with another canon gay character whose name I am blanking on. they are very loving and very pure

literally, in 4.01, when armed military men are breaking into the earp homestead and he doesn’t know what to do, he literally says: “gays only?” lol they didn’t respect that answer

the show has so many good quips and one-liners. so many hilarious lines. it can be an angsty show at times but they definitely balance it out with humor and wlw softness between waverly and nicole

wynonna has a baby in season two and literally calls herself a milf

it also made fans faint because they have been calling nicole “daddy” for like six years and nicole was referred to as daddy three (3) times in 4.01

this show is NOT AFRAID to say things like gay, lesbian, etc. at one point someone tweeted at emily andreas (the writer) asking her to amp up the gay energy and she responded that she would

literally, emily andreas is on the same level as john rogers with trustability and dedication to fans

emily andreas heard of the bury your gays trope and did us one better: unkillible gays trope. the gays are unkillable.

2. motherland: fort salem (my sideblog is @fortsalem)

(HELL YEAH I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST IN THE FANDOM AND I GOT THE HANDS DOWN B E S T URL)

au where during the salem witch trials a witches named sarah alder made an agreement with the government that witches would serve for the us army in exchange for not being systematically hunted down and killed

THIS IS NOT MILITARY PROPAGANDA. sorry, I just had to make this point early on because it’s not even though it might seem like it in the beginning. literally by the end of the season you see it’s very corrupt

since this is an alternate history of the united states, in this universe there are no heteronorms. literally, there’s literally no words for lesbian and bisexual that they use because it’s so normalized and common and accepted that there’s no need for terms like that

the main love story is of star-crossed raelle and scylla. raelle comes from a poor family and is a talented healer, and (this isn’t technically a spoiler because you find out in episode one) scylla is a member of the spree

the spree is a terrorist organization of witches that protests the compliance witches are forced into by having to join the military or die/be imprisoned

scylla is supposed to turn raelle to the “dark side” but falls so deeply in love with her that she can’t do it (THATS TRUE LOVE FOLKS)

the students at fort salem (the military school) are divided into groups of three: the main group being focused on is composed of raelle, tally, and abigail

tally craven is a pure-hearted baby and I’d die for her. she is very idealistic about fighting in the military (but don’t worry that’s fixed by the end of the season)

abigail bell weather comes from a high military family and is kinda really stuck up about it, but she’s humbled a lot by the end of the season. this girl has LAYERS (they all do, but abigail goes through a lot and goes from very stuck up and stuck up the military’s ass to questioning everything she knows)

the trio starts off rocky, especially between raelle and abigail, because raelle blames abigail’s mother for her mother’s death (her mother’s unit was led by abigail’s mother)

the beltane episode literally hits you in the face with how there are literally no heteronorms whatsoever. they do this sacred dance where by the end they will end up with the people they are destined to spend the celebration with (“trust the dance”). raelle makes friends with a gay guy and they spend the celebration making fun of the sex noises around them and become gay friends for life. abigail has sex with two (2) guys who kiss each other. a group of four girls went off together. a group of two girls and a guy went off together. and sex isn’t shamed. at all. in fact, it’s respected as a part of life. and y’all, literally this representation was OFF THE CHARTS

the witch’s most powerful tool is their voice,,, think about that for a minute

it’s an all girls school so there are like no guys whatsoever minus the beltane episode and a couple others

EMPOWERED WOMEN (of all ages and ethnicities too)

3. siren (my sideblog is @polymarinelove)

imma start off by saying that season three doesn’t exist. don’t watch season three. don’t do it. the disappointment is real

ANYWAYS

the central love story is between an interracial couple (a white guy and his black girlfriend that has a native american stepfather) that turns into a loving polyamorous relationship

maddie, the girlfriend, is amazing and incredibly smart and the first two seasons (and the beginning of the third) accentuate that and they never downplay her because she’s a black woman like many shows and movies do. she’s a smart stem woman and we stan her so hard. she’s also bisexual.

ben, the guy, comes from a rich family that are basically the hotshots of the town and own the fishing company that the community works for. his dad is hella untrustable. ben doesn’t trust him and neither should you. he is kindhearted and smart and respectful, and at one point teaches a merman about consent after being kissed by him (and he didn’t even #nohomo it which was AMAZING)

now to the mermaids

mermaids are apex predators. they are very dangerous. they are very strong. they’re also wickedly smart, canon smarter than humans

the story begins when donna, ryn’s sister, is captured by a fishing boat and carted off to a military facility. ryn comes to land to try to find and save her. (she literally choses her name because she sees a character on a kid’s tv show saying “I am ryn” which is also the first thing in english that she can say)

she ends up being helped by ben and maddie and legit is like these humans are hot imma learn english for them

there’s a lot of really cool and thought out lore as well as TONS of thoughtful marine biology science that makes sense

oh and transforming from mermaid to human? painful as FUCK. realistic depictions of having your body literally transform into something else

humans are wrecking the oceans and that’s a heavy theme of the show

oil rigs are poisoning the water (making them infertile) and killing mermaids with their sonic drilling

so ben and maddie lowkey commit an act of ecoterrorism but it’s chill

“ben and maddie are love” they’re poly, bitches

they come together in a natural, organic way

very healthy and communicative

ben’s alright but ryn and maddie are amazing

don’t watch season three if you don’t want to be majorly disappointed. the writers listened to the homophobic trolls on instagram and broke up the polyamorous relationship and I’ll NEVER forgive them for that. seasons one and two are amazing though. just don’t watch the third one.

[burstbub]

THE WORLD CHEERED AND HAD THE SUDDEN WILL TO LIVE AGAIN

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

How To Fall In Love (For Dummies)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/tpzuq8m by incandescentlifeline Dean Winchester hates fall. And winter. And spring. He hates it all, honestly. But at least he gets free coffee from The Rusty Patched Bumblebee, and bagels every morning (courtesy of his roommate). No, he’s not falling in love with his roommate. God, what a cliché. Ew. Or Castiel is trying to run his coffee shop in peace, but when Dean Winchester becomes his best friend and roommate, that all devolves into madness. He didn’t know just how different his life would be with Dean in it. And just how hard he would fall for him. He knows, such a cliché. Dear Lord. Words: 2822, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Dean Winchester, Endverse Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Bobby Singer, Jack Kline, Claire Novak, Eileen Leahy, Crowley (Supernatural), Real Human Meg Masters | Demon Meg's Host, Jimmy Novak (Supernatural), Kelly Kline (Supernatural) Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Claire Novak, Castiel/Real Human Meg Masters | Demon Meg's Host, Bobby Singer & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester Additional Tags: LGBTQ Character, Trans Male Character, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Trans Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer is Dean and Sam Winchester's Parent, dean needs a goddamn hug bro, someone give him a hug, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Castiels special interest is bees fight me, castiel is a certified cat lover, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, it’s not THAT sad I don’t think but like be warned, praying I don’t get hit by author curse by posting this, Supportive Bobby Singer (Supernatural), we love you Bobby singer, Abusive John Winchester, Bad Parent John Winchester, Absent John Winchester, I hate you John Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Everyone Is Gay, Not beta read no one i know shall ever see this, I hope, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/tpzuq8m

[idgaf-what-you-call-me]

This is the first time, outside of therapy, that I am opening up fully my past, I ask that you remain respectful.

Trigger warnings: Suicide, torture, neglect, alcoholism, … a lot listen you’ve got to be well resourced before you read this. 

I know Dean, because I was Dean. I was raised to be “perfect”, I am so much like my dad, I didn’t have a childhood, I was tortured, I have lost time (dissociation not possession by an arc angel), I am fairly closeted, and I’m finally starting to get better. 

Ever since a very young child, I was raised to be perfect. To look at a 99 and learn what I got wrong before I brought the grade home, otherwise, I was sent to study. I was raised to not be heard and taught to stay in my room. I was raised to not show emotion because anything more than stoic meant that I was an inconvenience. I had “fend for yourself nights” where I had to sort out what I would eat for dinner, and at inexcusably young ages, 5-6 years old. I learned to shoot at 8, and was taken fishing anytime my dad went. I was brought to the construction sites, learned how to use power tools, and eventually had my own set at home. While I wasn’t trained to hunt demons or other things that go bump in the night, I was molded to be just like my dad. My mom wasn’t around much when I was a kid, so I idolized my father. He was like a god to me. As I got older (legal), I even would drink things that my dad approved of like scotch and I smoked cigars. Often praised, “that’s my girl! Look guys, my daughter drinking scotch and smoking a cigar! Where are your kids?” The validation was like a high to me. I was desperate for his approval. Just like Dean. Talked like his dad, walked like his dad, drank like his dad, I get it. 

I was blatantly ignored including being told that I was invisible by siblings. They would hold up a remote to me and say, “you’re invisible” and ignore me. I could leave the house and they would not come look for me. With my mom and dad often gone (usually working or partying we were quite poor), I didn’t have anyone looking after me since I was 4 so when my dad was around, much like Dean, all I wanted to do was make him happy and proud of me.

I was a closeted bisexual, who made so many gay jokes towards my cishet brother that I feel quite a bit of shame as an adult. I repressed every facet of desire I had for the opposite gender because being bisexual really meant that I must be gay. At least that is what Will and Grace told me, and I did not want to be gay. Things were bad enough, I didn’t need to add to my shit pile. By the time I was 12, I had no idea how to feel emotions and I had no idea how to love myself. Most days, now at 29, I still don’t know how to love myself. I am not out to everyone in my family. I don’t feel safe with everyone. All the gay jokes between the brothers, all the Dean is bi subtext, I lived a lot of it.

Torture can take the shape of many different forms but they fall under two umbrellas: physical and psychological. I was subjected to sound torture and sleep deprivation forms of physical torture that have lasting psychological effects. When you live through something like that, you don’t “rebound” in the traditional sense, and I would dissociate. My consciousness would retreat back into itself until it was safe enough to come back.

I dreaded Thursday nights as that is when it would begin. My father would bring home several cases of Michelob Ultra, from the store, and then he would start drinking. My dad didn’t measure his consumption in beers, instead he measured by the case. A form of extreme binge drinking that to this day I still don’t completely understand. While he would drink, his music would get progressively louder and louder until the whole house vibrated with noise. 

There are some songs and artists that I cannot listen to anymore. They’re not songs by Metallica or Black Sabbath, instead they’re by Credence Clearwater Revival, Bob Dylan, Van Morrison and the like. Songs that people dance to at their weddings, sing at funerals, and enjoy on a road trip with the entire family. They are generally described as lively yet not heavy, yet this music was the conduit of 5 years of actual torture for me. I used to say that these were my favorite songs, but it was a way to cope with hearing them at home, and then hearing them play in the car on the way to school the next morning. In my house, the music was played so loudly that walls and floors shook and overwhelmed my senses and ability to sleep, think, do anything but have a heartbeat and breathe. It would last all night. I never learned to “fall asleep” I would pass out. To this day, I can be desperately tired, and able to drive for several hours without being a dangerous driver. Like my body learned to ignore fatigue. “I just need like 4 hours every couple of days,” yeah Deano, I’ve been there.

I would freeze mentally. Almost like a zone out but on steroids. Then I’d look around and things wouldn’t feel real to me. I would look in the mirror and see a stranger. Now I understand that I had developed dpdr as a way to cope. I don’t wish it on anyone.

My mother? She would leave the house and go clubbing. My siblings were 8 years older than me and lived on their own a great distance from where I lived. Besides, I had school to go to on Fridays. So I cooked, I monitored myself, I had to become an adult. I didn’t get to be a kid. My catharsis was angsty and fluffy Harry Potter fan fiction. You can find it on FF.net, RandHrFan I no longer post with that handle. Dean’s were movies, movies that my dad, and I’d wager his dad watched. I also love westerns just like my dad and my grandfather, there is something about them.

When Dean cries and opens up to Sam about his hell experiences, I get it. I’m so proud of him for telling Sam. To some it seems like he’s closed off but he’s not. He’s opening up as much as he mentally can. And Sam listens. Just like my sister eventually did. When Dean gets mad and yells at John and Mary, I’m proud of him, because he is fighting for himself. He knew he deserved better and he didn’t let it go. Just like I have done in my not so distant past.

All the while my parent’s marriage was fracturing and I was mentally declining. My mom began sleeping in my room and in my bed, and I was basically left to sleep on the couch. On days when my dad would drink, and my mom would go out, I could get to be in my room again. I could be on the computer (laptops weren’t a thing yet) which lived in my room. I could connect with the two other friends on AIM, but the reality of my situation I couldn’t escape. I was isolated, didn’t trust my family and I didn’t know how to ask for help.

One day I attempted to take my life. I saw no value in it. What was I doing with my life. I was a broken human who didn’t deserve love, who didn’t deserve safety, who didn’t deserve well anything. So I downed a bottle of pills. I had an iron clad stomach, I wasn’t too worried about not being successful. Except, I sent a goodbye message to a friend, and that friend saved my life. He got a hold of my sister who got to me in enough time to make me throw up. (She was a champ at that, having suffered from bulimia and taught to throw up from no other than my dad.)

I didn’t receive help afterwards. I signed a paper saying that I wouldn’t attempt again and was taken home. (I hope this isn’t how hospitals roll anymore.) I left my house, I went to school out of state and found stability, created stability for myself. But my past still haunted me whenever I went home. So when Dean has a death wish, and gets discharged from hospitals before he’s stable, I get it.

My parents eventually divorced, and I came home to a place where I couldn’t live anymore for a solid couple of months, I couch surfed, and again my mental health took a nosedive, but nevertheless, I persisted. I got my head back in the game, and finished my degree. Chemistry. I couldn’t go back home, because if I did I’d be working for my dad. I couldn’t do that, it was too painful. So I went to grad school. I got my Ph.D. I began to chart my own path. But there was a rage in me that I couldn’t escape. I lashed out at anyone and everyone to hide the pain that I felt all the time. People were afraid of me. I was great at what I did but I couldn’t make lasting connections with others.

When I was 27 suicidal ideations became dangerous, and I got about as dark. I tried to harm myself, and wanted my world to burn. It didn’t matter that I was married, with pets, and owned a home. Nothing mattered. I finally had to decide between life and death, I couldn’t continue in that state. I can say confidently that I would be dead if I didn’t get help that day. I wish Dean had this chance. He gets close to this in moments with Cas when he is honest about his feelings and experiences, he cries, he gets angry, lashes out, but Cas is there for him. From someone like Dean, I’ll tell you Cas being present holds more weight than gold for Dean.

I have been in intense therapy for a year. By intense I do mean more than once a week, regular check ins with her, and the occasional group session. She sends me articles to read, homework, and we do EMDR work, emotional integration therapy, mindfulness, etc. 

It was then that I began to learn that all the rage that I had built inside me was hiding intense fear, loss, and disappointment. The rage gave way to tears, and the tears gave way to a new anger that I could make peace with. That anger comes from the person I am today. The person who fights for herself. Who doesn’t take shit from anyone. The person who says, humans don’t break, vases break, and I am a human. I see a lot of that in late season Dean. He is a fighter. 

But I am still the person who receives a compliment and shuts down, there is still a side of me that doesn’t believe that I deserve nice things, good things to happen to me, but that person is getting smaller. My therapist likes to hit me with compliments when I am vulnerable as I am more likely to believe them. I still react like a dead fish when she says them, and then after the session sob for hours over it. One day my head and my heart will believe the same things about myself. I would have reacted the same way as Dean to that confession. 

When the cards fall, I still know that I can depend on myself before anyone else because I had to. My life as an impoverished, unstable, depressed, neglected, and abused kid says I should be dead or amounting to nothing, but hear I am. I’ve now closely mentored about 20 undergraduate students, a handful of graduate students, and have helped them find their paths in life. I have taught nearly 1000 students. I made a difference with the life that I tried to throw away. 

I have come to a place where I can love my dad. He is sober again, and yes, my love for him does depend on his sobriety. When he is drinking he is not the same person. I wouldn’t call him an A+ dad by a long shot, and hell I am so much like him that at times it makes me sick, but I do love him. I have been able to forgive him. Forgive in the sense that I can make peace with what happened. It doesn’t change what happened or how much it affected me, and I certainly don’t forget, but that isn’t what forgiveness is. I don’t hold the rage anymore. The fact that Dean is able to is personal for Dean, as it is for me, and it isn’t some “family that is what you do” type reason.

I do experience flashbacks when there are fireworks, I can’t go to a movie theatre because of the volume, when people play really loud music in their cars I typically have to peel off into a parking lot and meditate for 20 minutes to be able to drive again. There are some stores that I don’t shop at because their music triggers me. So when Dean experiences those flashbacks, I get it.

There is a belief in the psychology that monster shows help us become comfortable with our dark sides. My dark side saved me over and over again. My dark side told me to be better than them. My dark side told me to fight for me, to adopt a survivor mindset. (If you can’t tell I am a green veined Slytherin and have never been sorted into any other house even by random house generators.) The things I delight in are a bit off color. I cultivate a poison garden, consume way too much true crime, to gore I say give me s’more and so on. Dean gets to experience his dark side, and he has to make peace with it. He makes inappropriate jokes, laughs at it, but he also does talk about it. 

This is the hard part: Just like Dean, I am also light. I love people (vomit), seriously though, they are more precious to me than any earthly possession. Plants bring me serenity. Animals are a comfort and companion in the worst of times. There isn’t much I wouldn’t do to protect living things. My motivations come from a place of love and a need to protect others from what I have been through. I know I can survive, but I don’t know if that is true for everyone else.

I know Dean. I was Dean. I see that every episode. Moments when he yells and screams for himself, I cheer him on. Moments where he tries to waste his life away, I understand, and am crying right with him. The purgatory apology guts me, I’ve had to make that apology more than once. The dead fish reaction, hell that is me at the end of a therapy session. I am here to say: Dean is not broken. Dean is strong. Dean is resilient. Dean doesn’t just fight for himself, he fights for the whole of creation. Dean is not a vase. He is a human. 

Oh and John’s taste in beer, much like my fathers, is crap. Don’t drink shitty beer. Also, I don’t drink scotch anymore. I'm a gin girl and I drink *okay* beer. 

I’m the same blogger who does drunk blogging regarding Supernatural on Saturdays. It is a lovely bit of comfort and joy for me and I won’t be stopping any time soon. We will get back to the lovely and light “Dean is Bi he he” commentary this weekend. 

[alecmagnuslwb]

Summer Vacation

Writer’s Month 2020 Day Twenty-Six

Read on AO3

“Fourteen days, that’s all we wanted and we couldn’t even get halfway through it!” Zatanna shouts in anger knocking another bot sporting sharp silver teeth back with a high kick as she flings out another blast of magic at a line of them creeping up on John.

“I told you joining the Justice League would bite us in the arse!” he shouts conjuring up a handful of fire pushing the flames directly into the chest of a bot in front of him.

Zatanna flips a bot over her shoulder blasting it with a burst of magic as it lands on the soft sand.

“I told you joining the Justice League would bite us in the arse,” she says in a bad impression of John her voice going down in octaves and then up.

“I heard that!” he shouts back as a bot slashes out at him, John jumps back in time but the bot still makes contact leaving a barely there scratch against his bare chest.

Zatanna knocks the bot back from him with a blast of magic before focusing back on the line in front of her.

“Good,” she says as she picks up the beach towel crumpled at her feet. She wraps it around the bot’s head and punches it in the face hard once before blasting it back. “You were supposed to.”

It’s not like things like this didn’t happen to them before the Justice League, it’s just become a little more frequent lately.

This is not the summer vacation they were hoping for. In the year since Zatanna convinced John to join up with her on the Justice League they’ve helped stop at least a dozen near apocalypses, three alone of which have been within the past month. These two weeks were supposed to be a break away from it all, just her, John, a few beaches and some dive bars that reminded them of when they first met.

And for five blissful days that’s what it had been. Until today when somewhere between threatening to throw John in the ocean if he suggested they have sex on this very public beach one more time and a sip of her drink a scream had broken out at the other end of the beach.

Zatanna had never wished that someone was just lightly drowning so badly in her life. That of course would have been too easy of a fix. Instead a line of bots were rising up from the water attacking the innocent beachgoers.

Zatanna and John had just looked at each other disappointedly and within seconds they were in all-out battle against dozens of evil water bots. Water bots that look a lot like the handiwork of Black Manta, meaning this really should be Aquaman territory. His vacations don’t seem to get interrupted though, lucky fish bastard.

Another bot swipes out a hand at her back nearly catching on the straps of her Ouija board printed bikini. For a brief second she wonders how some of the more scantily clad villains and heroes she knows fight like this.

Another wave of bots pull up from the water as she knocks what she thought was the last one down.

“That’s it, we’re finishing this,” she says through frustrated gritted teeth. She rolls her neck then runs over to John’s side as he finishes off the last of his bots.

He looks out at the ocean seeing the line she’s watching storm the beach.

“Son of a bitch,” he says brushing off his hands.

“You remember Malta?” she says already drawing on the power in her core.

John smirks tilting his head in her direction. “Malta ’01 or ’14?”

Zatanna smiles a wicked little smile her eyes already glowing with magic. “It’s Manta tech so it needs water, right?” she says building a barrier between the new bots and the line of civilians still cowering behind a nearby wall. “So I’d say ’01.”

Malta ’01 had been a beautiful blissful five days of nudity for the pair. It had also been the site of a massive magical sea succubus that they’d had to deal with for the sake of the locals. To this day it’s considered an act of apocalyptic proportions that the Chadwick Lakes ran dry suddenly a massive monster washing up out of them.

John chuckles. “I love the way you think,” he says pressing a hand to one of the magic sigils on his chest. “How long you think we’ll need to hold it?”

“Couple minutes should do, not quite as dramatic as ’01,” she says holding out her hand palm up for John to take. He does, entwining their fingers together. They both close their eyes a string of Latin said in unison as John draws on the sigil on his chest and Zatanna pulls pure raw power from her core.

“Maybe we can have a repeat of the rest of Malta when we’re done here,” John suggests with a squeeze of her hand his tone far too suggestive.

Zatanna likes the sound of it.

“I love the way you think,” she says parroting his words from before.

One second the bots are advancing on them, the water rushing around them and the next every drop of water is whisking away back up into the sky and receding out. They open their eyes focusing their power on the water and watch as the bots seize up, crumpling in on themselves. A few stragglers attempt to run back into the ocean, but Zatanna focuses on it pushing the water back further and further away from the bot’s reach.

It takes less than two minutes for all the bots to crumple up, scattered powerless on the beach. Zatanna and John meet each other’s eyes and break their hold. Just like that the water rushes back in and down from the sky in a single giant rainfall of sorts. The fish that had been gasping for air moments ago sink back under where they belong.

She hopes there were no fish casualties in this or she’ll never hear the end of it from Aquaman.

A burst of cheers from the civilians breaks out once they realize the beach day from hell is over and Zatanna stomps away back over to the space she and John had been occupying before all hell had broken loose.

“Stob eb dehsinab ot a drayparcs,” she says waving a hand at the beach as she goes. She throws herself down into the sand on her back, her towel long gone somewhere, with a frustrated huff. She looks around watching as the civilians mingle back to their spots on the beach, completely over the events of the past twenty minutes.

She’ll never stop being astounded about how desensitized people have become to superheroes, magic, aliens and everything in between.

She shifts looking up at the bright blue sky. Eventually the leg of John’s swim trunks that sport the colors of the bisexual flag come into view. She moves her head a little and notices the plain black leg have a scorched hole in them now.

“You alright, luv?” he asks settling down into the sand at her side his forearms resting on his knees. Zatanna just nods lifting herself up from the sand to sit up beside him. She feels the gritty sand sticking to her back and frowns.

John reaches out brushing it off of her best he can. Zatanna grabs his arm when he starts to pull it back and lays her head on his shoulder.

“You said something about having a repeat of the rest of Malta?” she says rubbing her cheek against his warm shoulder.

“I did,” he replies placing a quick kiss on her hair. “I’m thinkin’ if we don’t leave a bedroom there’s no way anymore mass evil assaults can find us.”

Zatanna snorts. “An army of demons has literally portalled into our bedroom before John,” she says thinking of at least three separate occasions that that statement applies to.

“Okay, well I can’t argue with that,” John concedes. “It’s still more fun that fighting robots on a beach though.”

Zatanna sighs looking out at the ocean that’s still a little choppy from their magic.

“Plus,” John adds after a moment. “No doubt fish boy will come looking for us to talk about this incident soon enough and if we’re holed away on some real nice dry land he’ll never be able to track us down.”

Zatanna pulls back and meets his eyes.

“We haven’t been to Vegas in a while,” she smiles already conjuring up a portal and pulling John up from the sand determined to get a peaceful rest of their vacation.

[adam-is-suffering]

What I know about the "Beta Kids”

JOHN EGBERT 

- He kins blue, or basically has a theme of blue as I can see from his tracksuit

- He doesnt like his dad?? I don’t think??? So he has daddy issues??

- I think there’s a trans thing about him which is real dope, saw something on Twitter about it

- The game makes him have wind powers so he’s essentially Aang

- Big Nerd, likes games, computers and mullets since I think he grows one in the future or smth

- His uncle is Obama

ROSE LALONDE

- She has the most fanart from what I’ve seen so I am guessing she is a favourite to either draw or in general and I support

- Ah yes, kins the colour purple

- H.P Lovecraft enthusiast, I am just waiting for her to summon some demons in Homestuck and every one of her friends goes through the trials and defeats of their own inner minds that they cannot escape nor control. And yes I am referring to Inception. Because wouldnt that be dope?

- She’s either preppy or goth and everything is pointing to both at the same time

- A probable lesbian with the other lesbian character

- Also mommy issues, I’m pretty sure

- Alcoholism? oh shit is that alcohol? Isn’t she supposed to be like 12?

- In conclusion, she’s Stella from Winx Club, idk same vibes not that I’m suggesting Stella from Winx Club is an alcoholic lesbian with mommy issues tho

DAVE STRIDER

- Oh god its him, its the one everyone fucking loves

- I feel if I don’t end up liking him, I’ll be shunned by the fandom and sacrificed for fun

- Man, I just tried looking up some images of ONLY dave but apparently his page differs from everybody else because he’s made into fanart with…. wait let me count

- 5 people, Jesus christ, he’s shipped with 5 people? He gets around, ig

- If he’s not at least bisexual, I’m not sure what the author is doing with themselves

- Giving me douche vibes but I’m pretty sure he’s just chill

- So he also kins a colour since I don’t see one image where he DOESNT have some sort of red on him which is valid, red is cool

- I’m pretty sure I ironically bought a shirt with that symbol on it without realizing it could have most certainly been a Homestuck shirt

JADE HARLEY

- She’s a furry

- She’s like a ray of sunshine, I don’t think I’ve seen one picture in which she is either frowning or angry…. this is concerning, is she okay? Or is she genuinely happy 24/7? Because let me tell you, nobody is and this is Homestuck which I heard has death at some point I think, so RIP Jade Harley I bet you she just snaps and becomes this badass who doesn’t think anything is funny anymore whilst being a furry.

- Wait, scratch that, I found one frown and she’s talking to a 69 now that’s also an issue who wants to willingly choose 69 as a symbol on their shirt, I say, as I scribble my first fan-kid into typing only using 69′s in place of binary.

- She likes to wield guns and overall fight people, you know what I respect this furry, she is cool

- Okay so while looking at pics I found an MLP Homestuck character and I’m not too sure I’m in the right section anymore

- So she’s also a witch, wow, she has a lot of hobbies, oh god thats a lot are those puppets?

- Okay so her infobox has Big game trophies, mummies, rude trolls for things she hates and that is.. such an odd thing out of context. Like I’m sure I’ll understand it one day but goddamn. Mummies? Honestly hun, same tho.

[thelaughingmagician]

Tag Game!

Rules; write 10 of your fav characters from 10 fandoms and then tag 10 ppl!

tagged by @my-name-is-markus-with-a-k

After number 1 I can’t really put these in any specific order, they’re numbered for OCD reasons.  

1) John Constantine aka bisexual disaster i will never not love

2) Dick Grayson aka acrobat who deserves better

3) Connor aka soft android boi who can kill us all depending on the playthrough

4) Ben Solo aka grey jedi change my mind

5) Clint Barton aka okay this looks bad

6) Loki aka spaze wizard who acts like a dick

7) Stiles ‘i must understand everything’ Stilinski

8) Nogitsune aka Japanese fox demon who needed to suffer more

9) Alex Summers aka the stronger Summers and nexus of all universes marvel doesn’t utilize how powerful this fucker is enough fight me

10) Ezio ‘vagina doesn’t count as a hobby’ Auditore da Firenze

uh tagging @sidleupandsmile @absentlyabbie @captbatjerk @lovethecoat @wheremermaidsdwell @saradoxical​ @k0bik​ anyone else i can’t remember usernames right now the adhd is real