#the real deal disco | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachesofteal · 11 months ago

Text

Help I'm Alive

Dead Disco masterlist

Ghost/Soap/female reader 3.2k words - AO3 Warnings-tags: 18+ MDNI. Explicit sex. Threesome - M/M/F. Praise kink. Past relationship trauma. Mention of an accident, drunk driving. Pre-relationship, complicated feelings. Simon and Darling heavy. This is a flashback and takes place before Chapter 1, after Calculation Theme.

You’re decidedly not checking the clock.

It’s only five minutes. Five minutes late is not a huge deal. Traffic exists, so does minor inconvenience, little snafus that get in the way of making it somewhere on time. Five minutes, is not the end of the world. Be rational, you chide yourself. You’re a big girl. Still, they’re never late. Neither one of them. Your bag, primly sitting on the ground near where your foot taps impatiently, agrees. You packed me for what? For them not to show? For them to forget? Sure, it’s been nearly two weeks. Sure, they promised. But honestly. What did you expect? They’re in love with each other. Not you. You close your eyes, avoiding the screen of your phone. This is what happens, when you get ahead of yourself. When you act like a lunatic, instead of a rational human being. It’s fine, it's fine. You’re okay. You tap at it, waiting. Watching. Tap, tap, tap. Did you miss something, did you miss a call, did you read it wrong, get it wrong, hear it wrong, miss- Knuckles rap against your door. Your stomach unties itself, unloops from the twisted rollercoaster, and you release a long-held breath. See?

“H-hi.” The greeting comes out in a stumble, tongue tripping over itself doing nothing to hide your surprise. “I thought Johnny was picking me up?” Simon raises an eyebrow. “He ran into a complication. With dinner.” He motions to where you’re standing in the doorway, staring, and you balk. “Oh. Right. Yes, come in, sorry.” You glance around your flat. “It’s a bit of a mess, I’m sorry. I was busy this week and trying to paint in my downtime, I guess I kind of got distracted from like, normal day stuff you know? Like I-“ “Darling.” Simon calls, big body practically blocking out the frame of the door. It’s not just a pet name now. It’s something more. It’s a million different things, built into two syllables, and sometimes when he says it, the world stops. “Are you alright?” There's concern in the question, in his face, and you swallow. “Yeah.” You assure him, because you are. Today. This week. Last. You’ve been fine. “Are you sure?” “Yes, Simon.” You quip, with an eye roll, and there’s a sharp intake of breath behind the mask, fire and metal and something you can’t explain flashing in his eyes. It forces your spine straight, your thighs together. “Are you packed?” He murmurs, stepping closer, leaning down, clothed lips pressing to the top of your head. “Yes.” You whisper, half pointing to the bag, half reaching for his jacket. “Let’s get you home, then. Johnny’s impatient.”

“How've ye been?” Johnny coos, mouth hovering over your ear. He's got you pressed to his body, coveted, chest to your back, curled over you like a mountain. He's warm, skin hot to the touch, and a little flushed, strands of grown out mohawk tickling your chin. He's been fussing over you for ten minutes, peppering you with kisses, lovely words, physical touch and affection. It feels so safe, so real. It's hard to remember that it's not, in these moments. That you're on the outside. That you're not a part of them. “Good.” You answer. “Missed you guys.” “We missed ye too, darling. So much. Ah thought about ye everyday.” Your eyes roll on instinct, trying to play it off, but your heart trips, mind and body working itself into a state over the idea that he was even thinking about you. “We both did.” Simon's finger trace over your shoulder, before they tilt your face upwards by your jaw. “We have a surprise for you.” “For me?” You squeak, and Johnny chuckles, mouth in your hair, on your neck, teeth against your earlobe. “Aye, love. For ye. Only for ye.” “What… what is it?” “You'll have to wait.” Simon tells you gently, and your face screws up into a pout. “Til when?” “Until I say.”

“Close yer eyes.” Johnny tells you, and your stomach tightens, storm brewing in your mind. What are they doing? What's going on? “D'ye trust us?” You nod. Simon cocks his head, brow furrowed, but stays quiet. He looks almost… stressed. Upset, even, and it does nothing to quell your anxiety. “You're not gonna like… do something… weird, right? We talked about boundaries and stuff…” Johnny chuckles, pressing his lips to your collarbone, your neck, achingly slow, slow enough that you can feel the imprint of his smile, the shiny flats of his teeth. “No, love. We'd never cross yer boundaries.” He promises, but it's not enough, and you fidget, shifting on your knees, fingers clenching into palms. You look to Simon. He's watching you now, very seriously, but with something softer in his eyes. Something almost sweet, something that feels like a tether, a rope, tied around your heart and tugged tight, something full of promise. Johnny mirrors it, but more openly, easily, and you take a deep breath. You trust them. You're okay. It's okay. You close your eyes. Johnny's hand covers your face, blocking out the residual light. It only last for a second or two before there are more hands on you, cupping your jaw, lifting your head backwards. Lips touch yours. Then they ask for more, and you meet it equally, parting to allow him exploration, tongue inside you, smell of his skin in your nose. Simon. The pressure across your face relents, light coming back to try to peek beneath your eyelids, but you keep them shut, almost tightly so, like you were asked. This, you can do. This, you can give them. “Open your eyes darling.” Simon asks, and your mouth draws downward. “It's alright.” When you do, you can't control the smile that stretches across your face. You're looking up at Simon's face. His whole face, no mask, no cover of darkness. You're looking at the scar on his cheek, the one near his lower lip, stories etched into his skin, sliced into his memory forever. You're looking at a twice broken nose, a five o'clock shadow. You're looking his jawline, etched from stone, plush lips that have brushed over your body in the night, quirked to the side into a small smile. You're looking at the man who made you feel seen, made you feel understood, all without ever letting you see his face. “Hi, Darling.” He murmurs, still cupping one of your cheeks, thumb working methodically across your skin. Johnny laughs, the sound surprising inside the intense moment, and you blink in near shock when Simon fully smiles, revealing his teeth. “Surprise.”

Simon’s face is not the last surprise of the night.

The next one comes decidedly quick, after he hauls you to your feet and Johnny carries you to the bedroom, sitting you upright on the edge of the bed. His hands don’t lose contact, continuing to skim over your clothes, your hair until Simon steps forward, bending over your body, two palms splayed across your thighs.

“You’re so good for us, darling.” He tells you at the same as he urges you onto your back, feet still dangling over the end of the mattress. “Such a good girl. We’re so happy we found you.”

Skilled fingers work the buttons of your pants, and a mouth, Johnny’s, lingers across your cheek, down to your neck. He’s shirtless now, a change you hadn’t even noticed, and you look at the two of them, trying to discern the direction. To understand. Johnny kisses you over and over, laughing with a whisper when you whine, the throaty chuckle warm, soft. Luxurious enough you could get lost in it, Simon smiling when he hears it, something you’re not used to seeing at all, the sight of making neurons light up across the switchboard in your head. His mouth notches to yours, and then to Johnny’s, and when he comes up for air, he licks his lips with a smirk. “Take off your pants.” You do, quickly. Johnny follows suit, and then so do the rest of your clothes, thong, boxers, shirts, your bra, until you’re both fully naked, on your back again, in the bed. The covers have been pulled down, so you’re between the sheets, Johnny on his side next to you, fingertip stroking patterns into your body, flicking over your nipples, your ears, bellybutton. He glances at Simon, the look too lingering to be inconsequential, and then his touch resumes, pattering over the scar on your hip. “What is this from?” Simon murmurs, lips dotting your throat, and your stomach tightens. Fuck.

“It’s from an accident.” You automatically move to cover it with your hand when he snatches it out of the air, pinning you by your wrist against the bed.

“Ye dinnae need to hide anything from us, love.” Johnny’s thumb traces over the puckered line, the raw, raised flesh that gnarly and disgusting, an awful thing. An awful reminder.

“I’m not it’s… it’s from a car accident. I was a passenger.”

“When?” Simon demands, but still manages to sound gentle.

“A few years ago. My- my ex-boyfriend was driving. He… was drunk.” You take a deep breath. “We were leaving a friend’s place. I didn’t want to get in the car with him, I thought… I thought he was too intoxicated. He convinced me, I guess. He was mean about it,” Johnny blows out a startled breath, and his hand flexes. “and then- he wrecked. Spun out into a guardrail, hit another car. I…” You trail off, Simon nodding to encourage you. “I lost consciousness and when I woke up, he was gone, and I was… bleeding. Pretty bad. Had to be transported to hospital.”

“He left you there?” You shrug. Something insane flickers across Simon’s face, something terrifying, and it’s enough to make you shift next to Johnny, instinctively seeking the heat of his body, Simon’s expression softening when he notices. “Thank you, for telling us darling. I know it’s not easy to talk about something like that.”

“Oh.” You don’t know why you say it, the oh. It kind of leaks out, sneaking past your lips. Oh, for the gratitude. Oh, for the acknowledgment, Oh, for the feelings that are spilling over inside your heart, mixing with lust and affection and something much deeper, more confusing.

“Are ye alright?” Johnny asks, cuddling you close with a kiss. You hum into it.

“Yes, I… it was a while ago, I’m okay.” It’s mostly true, but you consider yourself lucky when neither of them continues to push the subject, and Simon moves onto something else, teeth and tongue now painting a swath down your side, your hip. He kisses the healed gash, and your thighs press together.

“Open.” He taps, and you giggle, nervous, but move your heels wide, letting your knees fall open. Simon groans. “Look at you.” His face lowers to your cunt, mouth just over where your clit is aching, breath blowing across your skin in a warm, gentle way that feels nearly damp, more so when he licks a lengthy stripe from bottom to top, making you gasp, palm smacking down into the sheets.

“Isn’t she so perfect?” Johnny’s mouth sucks a mark into your chest between his words, and Simon’s tongue circles around your clit in response, your chest heaving, mind already starting to swim, lightly overwhelmed. Not perfect. Not good. The thoughts occur so rapidly, humiliatingly so, that you squirm a little, eyes opening to fix to on the ceiling. They don’t know you. They have no idea. Don’t get this confused. Don’t get lost in this, don’t-

“What is today’s date?” Simon interrupts the runaway train barreling through your skull, and you reel for a moment.

“Friday, it’s Friday.” He pauses, mouth hovering over your cunt, eyes fixed on yours.

“The date.” He prompts, and you rattle it off, Johnny cupping your cheek, tender concern in his eyes.

“How old are ye darling?” That one is simpler, it doesn’t require thinking, and you answer immediately, hoping to assuage the rising disquiet in the room.

“I’m okay.” You assure. Simon cocks his head and stands, rising over both you and Johnny, rubbing a thumb against your temple.

“Get lost for a bit? In here?” You nod. “Want us to turn it off?” Your eyes widen. How does he know?

“Yes. Please.” He kisses you under your neck, tonguing your pulse, slow and steady movement calming the rapidity of your heartbeat, the roar and rush of your blood becoming molasses, slowing down until it feels like you’re dying, like the world is grinding to a halt, everything in the room falling away until it’s just you, and Johnny, and Simon, bodies folded and melted together into a six armed monster, tongue and teeth and the gnashing of jaws. You wrap a hand around Johnny’s cock, tugging at him, thumb dabbing over the red, pulsing head, drips of precome smearing down his length as you stroke your fist up and down.

“Fuck.” You breathe when Simon plunges a finger, and then two, inside you, Johnny working his own fingers across your clit with aching accuracy, muscles seizing in fire and pleasure with every passing second. The world goes dark inside closed lids, and then Simon is cradling your face.

“Look at me.” Simon instructs, as Johnny moves, shifting so you’re more propped up in his arms, wide open mouth across your jaw, holding you. For what? He’s usually where Simon is, you muse, a little dazed, a little bit wondering. Everything feel feverish, imbalanced, like a scale is tipping, leaning too far to one side and taking you with it, until Simon climbs over your body, and you feel the blunt head of his cock against you.

Oh.

You gasp. It slips out, spurred on by the imbalance, and he freezes in response, eyes wondering, waiting.

He asks your name.

You give it before he gets a chance to finish speaking, and then he fucks you.

It’s slow, and wild, at the same time, your mind fracturing as your jaw drops open, fractured words fighting their way up your throat. He's so big, sting of the stretch searing inside your pussy, like he's burning you, lighting you on fire the same time as he's wringing delicious pleasure from your body.

“How does he feel, love?” Johnny whispers, a hand holding yours. Grounding you, letting you squeeze him, snarled breath spitting from your nose as Simon moves deeper and deeper, nearly kissing your cervix.

“Fu- big.” You hiss, Johnny nodding, brows knitted.

“Ah know, ah know. Ye can take him, darling. Ye were made for us.” Simon grinds to a halt when he bottoms out, and you keen, curling forward, looking up at where they kiss one another, tangling together and returning to you, Simon’s nose against yours, his lips against yours, your body adjusting to him, splinters of pain and pressure turning into sublime floating feelings, walls convulsing around him, squeezing him just like you’re still doing to Johnny’s cock.

“There you go.” He encourages. “Just like that. You’re so- bloody tight, fuck.” You trace his jaw, his naked, unmasked jaw, with your free hand, as Johnny reaches down between you, finding your clit again, wet fingers circling through the sopping mess, the slick and the slide of Simon slowly moving in and out of you, both of them building tension and pleasure through your body. Johnny nips at your throat, and you twitch, legs coming around Simon, eyes finding his in the low light.

“We’ve got you, love.” He keeps fucking you, harder and faster as he talks, words building a wave in your chest, emotion swelling beneath your skin. “We see you.” No. No, no. You close your eyes, trying to cinch them shut, block it all out, fight off the tears, but Simon stops at the same time, and so does Johnny. “Look at me.” He says, and when you do, your lashes are wet.

“P-please. Don’t stop.” He draws back, nearly all the way, Johnny’s finger hovering right over your swollen clit, your entire body aching.

“Don’t hide from us, and I won’t.” Fuck. You stare at him, hopelessly, tears continuing to swell, heavy, heartsick feelings thrumming through your veins, and he pinches your jaw between a thumb a forefinger when you try to turn away. “No.” He grunts, slamming into you, and you curl into Johnny, eyes wide. “Let me see them, darling.” Simon demands, grinding his hips against yours. See what? See- His tongue lavishes your cheek, licking where your tears track across your skin, and you choke, shocked, elated, confused… millions of things and feelings and forbidden moments exploding, erupting the same time Johnny presses harder against your clit, all of it shattering inside you.

“Ah, ah- fuck, I’m-“ You seize, coming with an intensity that makes your head spin, and Simon fucks you through it, Johnny still stroking your clit at a brutal pace through the peak.

“Bloody hell.” He falters briefly, before thrusting deep with such an intensity you can hardly breath, cock battering into your body, Johnny murmuring something sweet in your ear, while bucking into your relaxed fist, looking for friction around his cock. You tighten around him, at the same time Simon makes a strangled noise, his face buried in your neck, entire body trembling as he comes, fills you with himself, sealing his hips to yours with a huff.

“Darling.” He kisses you, knocking his forehead into yours, and wraps his hand around where your fist strokes Johnny. He’s close, panting, staring down at the two of you, one hand in Simon’s hair, the other on your cheek. It doesn’t take long, Simon’s hips jerking when Johnny’s do, and you moan, creamy spend spilling over your fingers.

“Christ.” He collapses, curling around you, around Simon, three of you linked together, three pieces of a puzzle you're not sure how to solve, Simon licking your hand clean, wet sloppy kisses swallowing Johnny’s come until he’s satisfied, and tucking you into his chest.

“Wow.” You breathe. They both chuckle, and you let your eyes close, falling into a white fluffy cloud, purely content, happy. You feel cherished, special, and Johnny rubs your back, little kisses against your ear as Simon runs a warm washcloth between your legs.

“Bathroom?” Simon asks, and you nod, but reach for him instead, pulling him close.

“Can we just, stay here for a second?” He wraps himself around your back, tucking you between his body and Johnny’s, mouth against your scalp.

“For a second.”

#dead disco #peaches writes #ghost x soap x reader #ghost x reader x soap #ghoap x reader #soap x reader x ghost #john soap mactavish #soap x ghost x reader #simon riley #simon riley x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #soap mactavish

504 notes · View notes

experimental-intellection · 1 year ago

Text

I havent thought about this much but you can tell how well Starfleet is doing by how often their crew is at the bar...

ENT: Exploratory military vessel, alien conflict left and right, people mostly do the communal meals thing and drink alone in their quarters. Sir yes sir.

DISCO: People dealing with ethics and universe ending shit way too fucking often. Things too heavy, usually drinking in their quarters or at a non-federation bar with green people.

SNW: Federation at peace again, just came out of the Klingon war, scanning quasars and shit and loving it. Everyone at the bar all the fucking time, amazing any science shit ever gets done at all. Fucking golden age.

TOS: Mother-fucking Trelane and Romulans and fucking Khan and world ending whale probes and shit all the god-damn time. A whole bottle of Saurian brandy in my fucking quarters like a real man.

TNG: On the one hand I got turned into a blacklight alien last week and didn't even get an apology, on the other we got Whoopie Goldberg making Risan Sunsets and dispensing wisdom down in ten forward... maybe a best of times/worst of times kinda deal?

TNG (Movies): Who's got time for drinking on this goddamn ship... fucking Borg.

DS9: HOLY SHIT THE COMMANDER JUST FUCKING PUNCHED Q AND WE ARE ALL STILL HERE AND NOT TURNED INSIDE OUT! QUARK!!! KEEP EM' COMING AND I'M GONNA NEED A HOLOSUITE CAUSE I NEED TO GET LAID LIKE RIGHT NOW!

VOY: We don't have any room on this ship for a bar, and we get in trouble when we get caught sniffing the organic gel packs running the ship, so we are gonna spend all our free time getting drunk on the holodeck till those mother-fucking programs start questioning their existence.

PIC: Guinan! My girl! You are looking fucking fit! Fuck the wine, pass me the Romulan ale!

LOWDeck: Things are chill again (thank fucking god!) Everyone is back at the bar all the fucking time again, amazing any science shit ever gets done, let's never get into it with dangerous dinosaur aliens from the delta quadrant ever again!

#star trek #star trek enterprise #star trek discovery #star trek the original series #star trek strange new worlds #star trek the next generation #star trek deep space nine #star trek voyager #star trek picard #star trek prodigy #star trek lower decks

946 notes · View notes

sugudoe · 5 months ago

Text

── ✎ CHERRY SODA, 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘬𝘰‧₊˚ ୨୧

✶ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: June has arrived with a constant presence of heat waves, which your hot self is happy about — after all, now you have an excuse for your red cheeks and sweaty hands whenever 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙠𝙤 𝙞𝙚𝙞𝙧𝙞 is near you.

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: happy pride month! i love loving woman. at the end, i got heavenly inspired by gatsby’s love for daisy, if you’ve seen the movie with leo, you will understand which scene i’m referring too. fun fact: the movie they are watching is bodies bodies bodies, and i wanted to explore more of reader’s ct, but i couldn’t, cus is all fluff. there is always gojo slander in my fics where he is not the love interest lmao. I ALSO LEARNED HOW TO MAKE DE DEGRADE TITLE MWAHHH. divider by: @cafekitsune

✶ 𝐬𝐲𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬: fem!reader / pure fluff / modern!au / curse!au / crackfic! / all are minors so no smut or sexual innuendo / everyone is gay / english is not my first language / too many swear words / lesbian!shoko / reader’s sexuality is shoko, and only that.

✶ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.4k

The happiest day of your life in Jujutsu Tech was the day you found out your upperclassmen, Shoko Ieiri, was lesbian.

That’s it, it was a simple statement made by her when you heard Gojo Satoru flirting with the girl and receiving the news as an answer. You nearly fell to your knees thanking whatever deity is taking care of this universe and you, the sky was clear of clouds, but you could hear perfectly the fireworks of celebration in your head and heart.

“And then, she said ‘Gojo, I’ll rather eat raw liver than be dating a man, specially you.’” You recall the talk while walking from side to side in your room, while Haibara and Nanami are seated in your bed, one with a enchanting smile and the other completely bored. “And…”

“And what?” Haibara bounces on his crossed legs, hands gripping your sanrio plushie of Cinnamonroll, his favorite of your vast collection.

“And she is vegetarian!” You clap your hands, Yu following your movement. “So, Gojo turned to me, and he said ‘and what about you, hot stuff?’ ”

“What did you answered?” Nanami is the one to ask, although his eyes are fixated on the album cover of the vinyl in his hands, disco playing in the background, his ears are all focused on the gossip.

“So, you see…” Scratching your head, you sighed. “I fumbled for real, just went back to you guys.”

Haibara happy expressions morph into disappointment.

“You’re so stupid, with all respect.” He offends you, though. “This was your chance, it’s not everyday we can be going around telling people we are gay, specially our crush.”

“You do all the time.” Both you and Nanami answers the boy.

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m me, Yu Haibara, the one that can’t shut his mouth. No one tells me their secrets, Kennie had to bodyslam me multiple times because I was always about to tell everyone, when we fist stared going out.” Although he said with energy, the boy had his lips in a pout.

“That’s not true, you haven’t told anyone I’m sapphic or about my crush on Shoko.” Your pacing has stopped, as you tried your best to comfort him.

“Not yet, at least.” Nanami snorts his small comment, before whipping the smirk of, and groaning. “Listen, I’m not in the mood to have you two whining, one is already hard enough to deal with, and I’m dating him! So you need to fix this, Y/n.”

“Huh? Fix what? What did I do?” You stare at Haibara, but he seems as confused as you.

“You need to make sure Shoko knows you’re into women as well. Make this your plan of life or whatever, soon as she knows, then comes plan b: get her on a date, it’s not that hard.”

“Yes it is!” You argue your friend’s really good plan. “She is Shoko Ieiri, pretty and popular and strong, and I’m little old me.” You dramatically falls on your carpet, hands on your forehead like a damsel.

“Girl, be for real, this school does not have that many people to be calling her popular. It’s just that you both are the only girls.” Haibara throws the sanrio plush at your face after his statement. “And you are as strong as her, in fact you are stronger than her, you literally are the strongest at the school.”

“So close! That’s the albino with the blinding eyes, actually.” Says Kento, coming to sit on the floor by your side. Both of you with large doe eyes staring at an energetic Haibara.

“She knows what I mean, your cursed technique is literally the more fucked you get, the more stronger you become. If Gojo bitch slapped you, you would break this world with your energy.”

“What are you saying, baby?” You stare agape at Nanami, is not always he uses the pet names, but the boy is as shocked as you with Haibara’s statement, so it slipped.

“Yeah, what’s with you and this weird coach talk? I don’t wanna be slapped by Gojo.” You mumble awkward, thoughts going straight into the cursed image of having Satoru’s large hands slapping your face — goosebumps follow your disgust in your skin.

“You need to shoot your shot, make her see you as not a school friend but as a potential future girlfriend.” The brunette gets up from the bed and points to your calendar. “It’s june, time to proud!”

You are proud and extremely hot, days later when summer has made its presence everyone’s problem. The students at school discards the purple jackets of their uniforms to only wear the white shirt underneath. You have to do a double take when you see Shoko and her classmates coming your way at the vending machine.

Ieiri looks so beautiful. She always does — but there is something about the short box braids she has, or how she tied her blouse on her waist, the way her skin is glowing with sweater, or the way she is smiling and right in front of you — glossy lips tinted pink moving. Oh shit, she is talking to you.

“I’m sorry what?” You catch yourself saying before staring at her eyes, she is smiling and they are almost closing. Adorable. “My brain is melting, it’s so hot.”

Lame excuse, but she buys it, you think.

“I was asking if you bought your soda yet.” You can sense her eyes on your empty hands, and smiles more when you sign no with your head.

“No..No! I was about to, you want some? I can buy for you.” You cringe at your own desperation, but Shoko sweetly laugh.

“No! I want to buy for you. I’m you senpai, it’s my job.” She goes for the machine and presses the number for cherry coke twice, before paying with her card. Shoko gives you your can before saying her goodbye and moving back to her waiting friends, both males smirking at you.

Walking back with a maniac smile before sprinting to your bedroom, you where once again greeted by Nanami and Haibara in there, startled by your sudden entrance of nearly breaking the door down.

“SHE KNOWS MY SODA!” You scream before falling to your knees, the cold can pressed against your hand reliving you.

“What does she mean?” Haibara asks to his boyfriend, but Nanami simply shrugs, annoyed.

“Don’t know, but clearly you don’t know ours. I’m thirsty and melting.” The blond whines before leaving the room to grab his and his boyfriend’s beverage.

“Hai, you don’t understand.” It’s a second after the door closes, you are in front of the boy, happy expressions in contrasts to his alarmed one. “She payed for my soda, and she knew what was my favorite.”

“SHE KNOWS YOUR SODA.”

When Nanami returns, minutes later, he is appalled to see you and his boyfriend screaming happily and jumping on your carpet, while on the background, wedding bells are heard from your music box. He sighs desperate.

Friday comes quickly, and luckily for you, it’s the first of the month, therefore, movie nights in your room: the perfect hangout spot, as always. It’s been a tradition since your friendship with Haibara started, and Nanami shows up whenever he was bored, which pretty much was all the time — specially now that he has his own boyfriend to cuddle.

You love them both to a crazy extent, is true! But no one in their right minds enjoy third wheeling, so you keep mumbling while setting your room up with the help of Yu while Nanami is out buying the snacks. It’s in the middle of your one person rant while adjusting fairy lights on your bed, small couch and plushies’s shelf, you feel something being throw to your head.

“Ow! What was that for?” You turn around to a pissed of Yu, hands on his hips and scowling face.

“I’m so tired of you, Y/n.” The boy comes closer to you, you fear he is going to throw any other thing, but instead he hugs you. “Please, don’t be stupid. Shoko likes you, everyone can see as much as we see you like her. So stop wasting time.”

It’s not supposed to work, because after all, you are the second most dramatic person in this school — coming after Satoru. For some reason, you might blame the summer heat waves that burn your skin much like Shoko’s attention does, and your brain has always been fogged with thoughts of only her. The thing is, Haibara is partly right. You like her lots and lots, and she likes girls lots and lots, and you are a girl, a pretty girl that can make Shoko laugh and feel comfortable — a pretty girl she knows what’s the favorite soda flavor.

Haibara is startled when you leave his embrace to move out of the room, he follows you after a few second of astonishment, and when the boy notices where you are going, a large smile is plastered on his face. He is so proud of you.

Both of you stop in front of a black door decorated with a cat rug and painted with flowers and vines, handmade by Shoko herself. You take three long breaths before knocking the door, and nearly jump back when it’s opened less than a second later by a six foot tall white haired freak with devilish smile. Gojo doesn’t have his glasses. Bitch knew you were coming.

“Shoko, your girlfriend is here.” Satoru sings before opening the door more, giving you a sight of Shoko’s perfectly cleaned room and minimal decorated, a total contrast to your own.

“Y/n?” Ieiri jumps from her bed besides Geto and comes your way at the door, pink cheeks much like yours. “Hi!”

“Hi…” Your soft voice you have reserved only for her comes out, before you scratch your throat and looks at everyone. All eyes are on you. “Uh, the boys and I are doing a movie night. We- - we thought of inviting you guys, if you want.”

“We would love to, we were so bored, actually.” Shoko answers right away, before turning to her friends.

“Huh? Weren’t we going to the mall?” Gojo asks turning towards Geto, but the black haired only shakes his head. “Oh, oh! Yeah, yeah, we are totally bored, no mall! Just movies with friends sounds amazing.”

“Great!” You smile triumphantly. “Nanami is getting snacks. Hai, can you send him a message asking to buy more?” You turn to your friend, but he is already with his phone in hand, texting, one of his hand making a positive sign. You turn back to face Shoko, shivering while noticing she is already staring at you. “So, see you… You guys, in fifteen minutes?”

“Yeah, see ya.” She whispers back.

It takes Haibara hands on your shoulder, much like Gojo’s on Shoko, for you to realize both of you had been quietly staring at each other. You wave her goodbye before moving back to your dorm. While in there, you and Haibara prepare the room for the others. The sofa would be for him and Nanami and your bed for you, as always. Your friend goes to his room before returning with his inflatable neon pink couch, which prompt you to change your neon lights to pink, as well.

The room is cutely decorated before you both fall on the bed to rest, and then a knock come. You don’t get up, Nanami just bursts into the room before dropping his bags on your coffee table. He scoffs.

“Why did you had to invite them?” Is all he says before falling on his sofa. “I mean, I like her, Geto I can handle…” Kento moves his face to stare at you two before whining. “But Gojo?!”

“Damn, I thought this was going to be a good time, not an offending me time.” The three of you jump at hearing Gojo’s voice, he is by your door, annoying smile decorating his face. Besides him, is Geto and Shoko.

“Every hour is a offending Gojo time, sorry bud.” Geto taps his friend head before moving inside your room, his eyes scan the place before deciding to fall on the neon sofa. “Nice room, Y/n, very you.”

The “thank you” is at the tip of your tongue, barely leaving through your voice, before stagnating when you look at the door, where she is. And fuck, you don’t think you’ve said anything in this world before, words become nothing in your mind in that very moment, all you can think is compliments and her name — Shoko is wearing a different outfit than earlier, she discharged the shorts and shirt for a flourished sundress, and two strands of her hair are braided. You can also catch glitter on her eyelids and her signature pink gloss on her lips.

“Shit.” Someone say, and you quickly realize it’s your voice. You cough before shifting your face to the boys, all again staring at you. “Uh, than… Fuck, thank you, Geto.” You say before moving towards the coffee table and grabbing two sodas of cherry coke and twizzlers. You go towards Shoko, who is still by your door, and you handle her the soda with a happy smile she copies.

“Am I going to have to share the pink couch with them giants?” Shoko whispers, motioning her head towards Satoru and Suguru, both playing fighting in the inflatable couch.

“No, no.” Couching again to refrain the embarrassment of answering so quickly, you sigh after, containing your nervousness. “You can share the bed with me.”

You close the door behind her, and soon your hand is in her back, moving both of you towards your comfortable bed and sitting on it, legs sprayed all over while your backs are resting on your comfortable headboard. Shoko is near the wall, caged by your body.

You toss the controller to Haibara, and he starts to go through the movies in the playlist showed on your wall, by your projector. You are not interested in movies anymore, if you could you would move everyone away and be with only her. You can sense her face moving towards the boys and you, but you keep staring at your soda. The cold in it keeps you in check.

Taking a gulp, tasting the faint cherry, you wonder what kissing Shoko would taste like. You could bet it would be like strawberries with sugar sprinkled on them, maybe a spoon of honey as well. And obviously, a tinted bitter of the cigarettes she smokes from time to time — it used to be worse, until you commented on the bothering of the smoke, and now she never smokes whenever you are near.

Maybe, you head and heart wonders, she likes you. There is nothing wrong with you, after all. You are pretty, smart, strong and sometimes funny. You could be liked by her as much as you like her, right?

The movie is already playing when Shoko pokes your arm, your mind goes blank and you move to her, tilting your head.

“Can I have a licorice?” She quietly asks. You want to give her anything, in fact.

“Yeah, here.” You open the package, giving her one of the red tubes. Trying not to, but failing, your eyes focused on the way her lips closed on the candy, wetting part of it with her gloss.

“Hey! No snoggin in there, I’m already third wheeling these two.” Gojo’s voice makes you realize how close you were to Shoko’s face, you grunt before staring at Nanami and Haibara, and they are just holding each-other.

“You’re bitter ‘cause Suguru won’t cuddle you.” Shoko answers after biting harshly her licorice, Nanami laughs at her answer when an offended gasp comes from Gojo. He doesn’t deny.

You laugh at Gojo’s offended face, and to add more fire to his bitterness, you move your arm to Shoko’s shoulder, she goes stiff for a moment before resting her head to your neck.

“Traitors.” Gojo mumbles and goes back to staring the movie, you see Suguru smirk before doing the same you did to Shoko to his friend.

After more minutes of the movie, in a particularly funny scene, you sense Ieiri’s head moving, you look down and she is already facing you. You grab another licorice and give it to her, straight to her mouth, she bites it before you take a bite on the other end.

If that’s the closest your mouth would come to hers, you would take it. By the gods, anything she would give you, would be precisely loved by you. Her presence, her scent, her glittery eyes staring solely at you. You would trade anything for her in that moment, if only to keep her attention on you and yours on her. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway?

You want to kiss her when the licorice is devoured eagerly. You almost do, lips reaching closer, and her eyes flattering shut, but a bombing laugh of Suguru takes you both apart. No one noticed, all eyes on your wall. You sigh gulping, groaning once more, but smiling while hearing her quiet giggles.

When the movie ends, everyone but you two get up, cracking their bones and talking loudly.

“Y/n, what was your favorite scene?” Haibara is the one who asks you, smirk in his face he shares with Gojo. “My favorite was the cruise one with the bananas’s costume, so funny.”

“Oh, yeah! Yeah, my favorite as well.” You answer while caressing Shoko’s arms, she starts to giggle more and you smile as well. “There was no cruise scene, right?”

“No, there wasn’t.” Shoko moves her head up, laughing sweetly now.

The gods really took their time with her, appreciating every little detail, from her laughs she emanated such good feelings, your insides would go warm and butterflies would rip your ribcage. But truthfully, you felt the weight of all your emotions while staring lovingly at her. Someone coughed.

“Well, I don’t know ‘bout you guys, but I’m tired. Should we go?” Gojo says and everyone agrees, they all say goodbye to you before stopping at the door, Nanami moves towards your music box, playing a calm song he knows you listen to before sleeping.

“Aren’t you coming, Shoko?” Suguru asks with malicious in his voice. She yawns, but doesn’t move.

“I’ll walk her to her room, don’t worry.” You say, making her nod and soon all the boys are gone. Is just you and her, in your bed.

Shit. Shoko Ieiri is in your bed. The perfect girl, the one you adores, the most beautiful human being is laying on you in your bed and she is not complaining, she even hugs your waist tighter when the door closes.

“Ieiri.” It’s rare for you to call her by her name, and she always seems happier when you do, this time is no different, she moves her head up with that cute smile you adore. “I like you.”

You always wondered how to confess to someone — her — in the most majestic and perfect way. In your mind, much like Haibara did to Nanami, you should give her plenty of her favorite food and flowers to match her sun kissed cheeks. It’s not something you planned, because you’ve never thought this day would come. Although it all changed with her in your arms, like she was always meant to be, you were designed to hold her.

So, in the pink and yellow lights of your room, under a shelf of dozens of plushies and Novo Amor playing in the background, your eyes focus shifting from her glitter eyeshadow to the gloss in her lips, that was heaven to you. That was the perfect place. She smiles, and you know you did the right thing.

“I like you too, Y/n.” Her sweet voice is melody to your ears, you barely register what she says, but is nothing to worry about, her lips are quickly on yours by the end of her sentence.

It’s cherry.

Shoko Ieiri tastes like cherry, in fact, she tastes like your favorite soda, a part of you who loves the beverage, unknowingly already choosing her. Her gloss is passed to your lips, giving you more of her taste, and when the kiss gets deeper, you feel like heaven has been given to you. In that moment, you know you are lost.

You separate yourselves for a second, finding yourself hovering over her, and stare at the her pretty crimson face, for just a moment appreciating that after her you would never be the same again. And how happy you were for that. So you go back for a second kiss, and a third, and more, more. All the kisses she wants, you will give to her, for the whole eternity you’ll have by her side — you are hers, and she is yours.

#♱ 𓂃 ࣪ ˖ on stage ! ᯤ #shoko ieri x reader #shoko ieiri #shoko fluff #shoko x reader #shoko x y/n #jjk x reader #jujutsu fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk shoko #shoko x you #jjk x y/n #pride month #wlw

171 notes · View notes

dahfloofysmol · 8 months ago

Text

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

#BIRTHDAY PARTY #birth of party #party birth #YouTube kids is in for a treat #I’m not gonna like #IF I have time #IF #I will make a collaborative drawing of everyone and their roles #I think I will #but for now gotta focus on people claiming roles 👍👍#March 27th #we have a good amount of time to do this >:D #LETS GO #//cackles in delight//

302 notes · View notes

vidavalor · 1 year ago

Note

I think you're the fifth blogger I've seen mention Shax's thing for Crowley... I still can't see it even though I really want to 'cause I think it's hilarious... send help... 🤣🥲😔

I can try lol. Chocolate cake? *slices*

More fun with Shax and Crowley under the cut. We're also going to look at part of Gabriel & Sandalphon's visit to the bookshop in S1 for some bonus fun since it fit in here as it's a parallel scene.

TW: Brief mention of Sandalphon and his homophobia.

For the most part, Shax isn't really in love with Crowley... she's just got a Mr. Brown-level pash on the Crowley that Crowley projects. While Aziraphale hides that he's an angel from the human world so Mr. Brown only believes him to be human, Crowley hides the extent to which he's human and living like one from the demons in Hell. As a result, the demon pursuing him has got exactly one thing correct about Crowley-- that he's hot lol-- but Shax's opinions as to why only partially overlap with ours and Aziraphale's because Shax believes Crowley's big reputation. She doesn't know what we know about him or see him the way we do. Like Mr. Brown with Aziraphale, she exists in part to highlight how insular Crowley & Aziraphale's world of their life together is and how much they have to playact in their respective worlds to keep that secret life they have with one another private and intact.

Shax is a demon who loves being a demon. That's what makes her crazy to us. Most of the other demons we've met are just miserable, even if they're playing along, but Shax is a real go-getter. She's ambitious and she lives to serve their master Satan. She wants to be good at being a demon and she's in love with *Crowley* lol. To us, this seems bananas because ain't no demon ever hated being a demon more than Anthony Jemimah Crowley... but it's proof positive of how decent a job Crowley has been doing at projecting an air of general demonicness for the last six thousand years.

Crowley has been a prince of Hell forever. He's gotten the top jobs-- the stuff of Shax's dreams, really-- and was a particular favorite of Satan, whom Shax worships. He was basically Hell's resident rock star, breezing in every few months to give a demonic presentation and shoot the shit in Lord Beezlebub's office for a half-hour before taking off for Earth again. If you were Shax, spending literally *thousands of years* in that overstuffed, dark, actual hell hole, Crowley showing up must have been like a visit from sexy Santa Claus. Shax is one of those Effort-making demons and most of the demons in Hell are more terrifying than attractive, ok?... even if you find terrifying attractive, like Shax sorta does or at least thinks she ought to.

Who's going to light your fire down there? Hastur? He'd *literally* light you on fire....

We've seen Shax have to deal with misogyny in the workplace (ugh Demon Josh) and you know she never got any of that shit from Crowley. She probably mostly got a "Shaaaaax! How's it hangin'?" from Disco Tony, who was thrilled to have remembered her name this time. Shax was playing it evil demon lady cool on the surface but girl just wants to be first string for the finest demon in Hell and she was swooning internally every time Crowley swooped in to grace Hell with his presence for a hot minute.

There has been suggestion in the series that several demons that we know of from Bible lore are, in Good Omens, all actually Crowley, which furthers this idea of Crowley and his big reputation a bit. The show has actually already done this with a Biblical figure, in that Bildad the Shuite is an actual Biblical character that the show just made be actually the demon Crowley under a different name, so it would make sense that the reason why we haven't seen other famous demons from The Bible in the series are because they're actually Crowley.

One is canon, basically, which is Astaroth/Astoreth, since Crowley was Nanny Astoreth in S1 and I doubt he stole the name from another demon who exists in the GO universe. When Crowley tells Aziraphale he changed his name when they are watching Jesus' crucifixion, Aziraphale first posits two other demons' names and neither of them exist in GO universe to date but both are, lore-wise, powerful: Mephistopheles and Asmodeus. A lot of other great meta has been written about these choices-- in particular, how well Mephistopheles fits Crowley to a tee, which I really, really agree with. You could assume then that the reasons why more audience-known demons like Astoreth and Asmodeus have never shown up in GO-- and we've met the highest-ranking demons already-- is because they actually *have* and they're all just really Crowley.

In demon lore, Astaroth is part of the "evil trinity" with Beezlebub and Lucifer and is a high-ranking demon in Hell... as well as is basically a genderbent serpent goddess with Crowley traits... so safe to say that's one of Crowley's aliases. Crowley has also had his name of "Crowley" for thousands of years by S1 but when he's rolling up in The Bentley in 1.01, Ligur and Hastur clarify what Crowley's "calling himself up here these days", indicating that he might have gone by more names than we might have realized.

Asmodeus, as we all probably know by now, is the demon of lust. A French novel from the 18th century also popularized the idea of Asmodeus as a sort of Cupid, which also goes along with Crowley, who loves love and got genuine joy out of trying to set up Maggie and Nina. So... from Shax's perspective, why *wouldn't* you want Crowley? He's the fine as fuck, Serpent of Eden, legendary prince of fucking lust here lol.

Shax showed up to reclaim his apartment for Hell and you know she expected a scene the likes of which have not been seen on Earth since a post-concert hotel suite occupied by Led Zeppelin lol. She was expecting (fantasizing lol) about having to wade through a rock music blasting, orgiastic drug den to find Asmodeus in his sex dungeon of a bedroom, somewhere in the black silk sheets beneath three playthings.

You know she actually found Crowley, alone, having just finished vacuuming the most fastidiously clean flat this side of Heaven, fully dressed and watching Barefoot Contessa on his massive plasma screen while the only drugs being mixed were special-blend fertilizer for his houseplants. Ina was making Jeffrey red-wine braised short ribs and Crowley didn't say so to Shax, of course, but he's always on the lookout for something his angel might like for dinner. Hang on a second, Shax, gotta save this recipe to my favorites...

At least the black silk sheets were accurate? lol

What probably confuses Shax a little is that she's been meeting up with Crowley and she still wants him and badly, even as it's becoming increasingly clear that he's a bit more complicated than she thought he was. Technically, she should consider him a traitor because of how he betrayed their Master but he's hot, ok, and maybe it's a little sexy to be so bad that you'd defy Satan? (Aziraphale agrees lol.)

Shax has Mr. Brown-level fantasies about where this could go. Crowley was a favorite of Satan's and she can bring him back into the fold. She can heal him. Yeah, this lady demon has gone and got herself one of those 'I can fix him' disaster scenarios. She hates this for her too but she can't help it. He's so sexy. She's been in Hell for a long time. She's sleeping in the bed and showering in the tropical rainforest paradise dream shower of Asmodeus himself, ok?

She's undoubtedly tried to get him to stay. She's so offered for him to live with her in secret and Crowley nearly choked on the air he doesn't need to breathe trying not to laugh at the irony of that one. It's not Shax's fault that he's just not that into her. She's a bad bitch and everything. That's just not his thing. He's just the lonely GI who basically fell asleep during a performance of The Ladies of Camelot. He has always given off the impression that he's into everything there is to sell the whole 'demon of lust' thing but he's really not. Shax doesn't know that, though, because to know that is to know Crowley well and Shax does not.

Does Crowley know that Shax is into him? Yeah, he does.

Shax's thing for him is basically the same thing as when Crowley tries to make a phone call after having taken out the mobile phone network for miles. It's the oh, shit, right, that thing I did that's now fucking up my day in the present... He didn't lead her on specifically as much as he just gave off the vibe in general that he's this debauched, wild, so very wicked demon and, well... if your name is Aziraphale, that's not terribly inaccurate lol... but if it's not, then it's actually not true at all...

...and this is why Shax cannot for the fucking life of her figure out what the deal is with Crowley and this angel.

Yes, Shax is trying to goad Aziraphale into confirming that he has Gabriel in this scene but this scene also comes off as Shax so incredibly done with how jealous she is over this, in her eyes, ridiculous being, and she's bitchy as all fuck about it. There were other ways to crack at Aziraphale than over his relationship with Crowley and she goes at that hard. She calls The Bentley an old piece of junk when she's really clearly calling Aziraphale that and saying that she doesn't know why Crowley hasn't gotten "an upgrade" since, implying that she considers herself just the upgrade Crowley needs. She brings up 1941 via the rumors that she heard "80, 90 years ago" that Crowley and Aziraphale were "an item", which we know are at least partially derived from what happened with Furfur, who his Shax's closest friend and totally has tried to tell her that this thing she has for Crowley is hopeless because he's doing that angel, Shax. (Poor, pining Furfur lol.)

Shax knows somewhere that Furfur is probably correct but she's decided to pretend that it's Furfur's thing for her that could have caused him to misconstrue at least part of it, right, because the demon of lust only having eyes for one being, let alone that being being this angel, is absurd to her (even if she thinks she can tame him lol.)

Aziraphale is an angel, for one thing. The bastards who did this to The Fallen and who cast their Master to Hell. Their sworn, hereditary enemy. It was one thing when maybe the angel was a dalliance. Asmodeus, lonely and bored on Earth, tired of all the sex with the mortals, and so very bad that he could corrupt an angel. That's a little hot, actually, if you're Shax, but it's the fact that that... does not appear to be what this relationship is... that unsettles her.

During S2, Shax learns that Crowley has a permanent invite into and keys to the bookshop and that Aziraphale can drive Crowley's car to an extent that Shax even has to trick him to allow her to enter it. The angel really seems like he might be Crowley's partner, which would mean that this wasn't Crowley fucking an angel on a whim in 1941 but that Hell's wild prince of lust has actually secretly been in a romantic relationship with Aziraphale for at least, to Shax's knowledge, almost a century.

The purported baddest demon that ever demoned, shy of the literal devil, is apparently mad for this fusty angel and Shax just cannot get it, ok?

Crowley is a a broody, black-clad rock star and Aziraphale is this twee little bookselling angel to her. Shax thinks maybe this was all part of Crowley's breakdown or something and she's Mr. Brown so she hasn't given up hope here, not for most of S2, but she's mostly been trying to figure out how to get Crowley's attention and that's the funniest part of her whole pash, imo.

Shax has no idea what Crowley is into. She can't figure this out to save her life.

She has no idea that it's over before it started because she is just not what primes the engine of Crowley's star factory over here. It's not personal. He just doesn't have a shred of sexual interest in her. Gabriel is getting more action from Crowley this season and he tried to murder him lol. Crowley's spent millennia cultivating a persona of a sex god and now he's got to live with it and he's just praying he never finds out anything she's fantasizing about him because he shudders at the thought of whatever she envisions them getting up to.

Look at what Shax is wearing when she comes to Earth to meet with Crowley, for one of the more hilarious things...

In Hell, Shax wears modern clothes. When she comes to Earth to meet Crowley in the year 2023, she wears a vintage-inspired outfit that is spanning the mid-1930s through WW2 in style (the era she knows he was involved with Aziraphale, who is her main point of reference for what attracts Asmodeus over here lol)... and the dress has the biggest damn bow ever seen. You could see that bow from space. It's like she's trying desperately to figure out what turns Crowley on and so far she's come up with well, he drives an old car and he's rolled that angel so he likes... old things... vintage clothes, like the angel's. She's trying to out-bow-tie Aziraphale.

Now that Shax can spend time with Crowley alone and the possibility of seducing him is ever-present (lolololol), she's spending time trying to figure out what turns on the prince of lust. She's trying to get Crowley's demonically lustful attention and she's reduced to bow ties, okay, take pity on her... she's just like I don't know what his deal with these are, exactly, as it seems kind of specific... but he can unwrap me anytime if that's his thing...

Then, there's that she's sitting too close to him on the park bench and raking her eyes over him while he's sprawling on it. He's not sprawling in a way meant to be enticing. He's actually mid-existential crisis here but that's fine by Shax. She likes 'em a little dark.

My favorite, though, is a scene that actually parallels S1 in a hilarious way and that's from the hot water boiler scene in the other meta that prompted the ask here but isn't a bit that I mentioned in that one.

As Crowley goes back into the bookshop (and he'd never been happier to be on the other side of that threshold in his life lol), Shax is then as physically close to him as she's ever been. If you notice, she actually inhales twice. The first is a regular breath-- which demons don't technically need to take but yeah lol-- and her expression is all oh Satan, he smells amazing and then she straight up sniffs the air as he opens the door. Girl is huffing her fill over here for those shower fantasies for months to come lol. Crowley knows it as his eyebrows are in his hair as he's turning back around like he's all did she seriously just *sniff* me? ugh...

Shax knows Crowley saw her (honestly, probably also *heard* her... Shax, love, a little subtlety wouldn't kill you...) so she covers it up by pretending like she smelled Gabriel in the bookshop. You smelled the archangel in there, huh, Shax? When you can't get through the door? When Gabriel is the same species as Aziraphale, whose bookshop this is, so this can't be some kind of angel-scent you're claiming you noticed here? lol This then parallels and adds to this Sandalphon scene in S1:

I know there's some debate about if there's such thing as an angelic or a demonic smell but I've actually always taken it to be that there isn't. It would seem to me that it would be hard for them to blend in on Earth if there was and if the demonic one was something off-putting to humans, at least. I think most of us, though, do believe that the "evil" Sandalphon is smelling in the backroom is Crowley but considering that the comment comes from Sandalphon, who is introduced to us with reference to his smiting of people in Sodom and Gomorrah, it honestly just comes off that Sandalphon is a raging homophobe and I've actually always taken that as the reason why Gabriel is here in this scene in the first place.

Absolutely nothing happens in this scene. It's a routine checkup. What is the Supreme Archangel of Heaven doing there? Why is he blowing so much smoke up Sandalphon's ass the whole time? It's kind of like he saw that Michael or someone had assigned Sandalphon to do a checkup of sorts on Aziraphale-- or Sandalphon had assigned himself-- and Gabriel pretended that he wanted to see in person how "the great Sandalphon" worked so that he could tag along and make sure that Sandalphon didn't bother Aziraphale. We also learn that Aziraphale hasn't seen Sandalphon in a long time and I'd bet that Gabriel is responsible for that. Gabriel's 'whatever, idgaf' response to Aziraphale's Jeffrey Archer books comment is so... Gabriel hadn't the first clue who Jeffrey Archer is or why his books would be evil lol. He could have easily further encouraged Sandalphon's pursuit of the "evil" scent. He didn't because he could care less what Aziraphale does in the backroom of his bookshop. If anything, he's jealous of him for having found a way to have some freedom and privacy. Gabriel is queer-- he is like Aziraphale. He's just closeted in S1. He's looking out for Aziraphale here by using his power to shut down Sandalphon and then "you can't have a war without war omg wow you are a poet!" him out of there as fast as is possible. If there truly was an 'evil'/'demonic' smell, Gabriel should have been able to smell it, too, and he doesn't. If he did, he wouldn't have been able to subtly shut down Sandalphon the way he did.

So, Sandalphon isn't smelling a demon. He's smelling another man. The "evil" is that Sandalphon can smell remnants of another cologne that isn't Aziraphale's in the backroom of Aziraphale's bookshop and Sandalphon is a homophobe, so he's implying that Aziraphale having sex and with a man is 'evil', even if there's no direct evidence here of that, just the implication of it.

This then would mean that Shax can't actually smell Gabriel in the bookshop in S2. Like Sandalphon, she's pretending to have a supernatural sense of scent but she's really just smelling Crowley. While Sandalphon was repulsed by the idea of Aziraphale's bookshop backroom having the scent of a man, Shax is just inhaling that same being's scent because omfg. so. good....

...something she can't stand that she has in common with that bastard angel, Aziraphale, who is actually allowed to breathe Crowley in anytime he wants... it's just ridiculous to her. Why the fuck does that beige bookseller get to have the sex god of Shax's dreams in his bed and she doesn't? What could Crowley possibly find attractive about him? That she doesn't know and can't really figure it out shows how little she really knows Crowley and also how little imagination she really has.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow #good omens shax #shax good omens #shax #archangel fucking gabriel #sandalphon #mr brown #of brown's world of carpets

308 notes · View notes

handwrittenhello · 2 years ago

Note

i think its kind of ridiculous to think that homestucks are seriously using bots in this poll because why the hell would they bot this poll instead of the tumblrwoman poll which was the poll EVERYBODY in the hs fandom was actually making a big deal out of . also because im going to be real but i dont think anyone cares about polls enough to rig one? even the bayonetta/miku poll turned out to actually not be vriska voter fraud (most people in the homestuck fandom voted miku anyway) i think people are just unable to comprehend that a lot of people are still dormantly into homestuck & probably just saw vriska serket at the front of the trending disco elysium tag and thought it was funny. like oh my godddd no one cares enough about the outcome of this poll to bot it . somebody with a lot of followers probably just posted about it on twitter or something mundane like that its not that deep . a lot of people on tumblr have read homestuck its not extraordinary that a lot of vriska voters exist. disco elysium fans im sorry your blorbo is losing you’ll probably be back in the lead in a couple hours anyway all of you need to chill out‼️‼️‼️

answering only this ask about the cheating/botting, and no others, because i'm getting a lot of asks about it. congratulations, this contest has officially had all the fun sucked out of it.

here's data i've been collecting for every poll i've run. it's organized by votes the character received per round, then the total number of votes on that poll, for all five rounds. then there are two columns for totals.

the next five columns, Notes 1-5, are the number of notes on each poll. i've highlighted two posts that were circulated with a greater-than-average frequency even after the poll ended (the loki/JC one because people were memeing on JC, and then HDB/Howl one because it gained popularity following a popular blogger reblogging it.)

V/N is the votes to notes ratio for each poll. it was taken by dividing the number of votes when the poll ended by the number of notes on each post. one limitation is that this was not taken at the same time each day, and so older posts will have slightly higher notes. however, i believe this uncertainty isn't enough to discount the conclusions i'll come to.

i've highlighted vriska's V:N ratio in red at the top. as you can see, round vriska's V:N ratio wasn't even the highest; she beat kaeya alberich easily, and the comments in the notes reflected that.

in round 2, things started to get interesting. this is where i and other people noticed a sudden flip, but i didn't think much of it. she was up against izzy hands. izzy was leading all day, and when i queued the next day's poll and went to bed, izzy was leading by 60%. when i woke up, it had flipped to 53/47 in vriska's favor. it's not a HUGEamount, but it is a NOTICEABLE amount.

keep in mind that every single day, there have been other, closer polls, that hovered around 49-50-51 all day, and which also flipped at the end of the day, or remained 50/50 and could only be determined by tumblr. in these cases, the notes also reflect the split. these polls also never swayed more than one or two percent.

in round 3, when vriska faced zuko, there was a clear and immediate lead for zuko, with him leading by 80%. keep in mind that by this point, all 28 other polls i ran, besides vriska's the day before, never swayed more than 1 or 2% once a clear lead had been established.

this poll went from 80/20 zuko to 59/41 vriska. that's RIDICULOUS. the only way that's possible is if an OVERWHELMING amount of people voted vriska and NO people voted zuko. for such a thing to happen, this post would need to spread really rapidly, right? surely this post had tens of thousands of notes and comments!

the V:N ratio for round 3 is TWENTY-SEVEN to one. that's the most out of any poll. the standard deviation for the round 3 polls is 9.0, compared to 4.8 and 4.9 the days before. not to mention reading those notes also does not get us an overwhelming amount of comments rooting for vriska.

today has also been highly suspicious. it started out with an 85/15 lead for harry. i wouldn't necessarily expect it to hold exactly at that percentage, but the flip was immediate and drastic. you can see the trend being tracked on this post. not at all suspicious, right? also note that the comments all day have been 95% rooting for harry and maybe 5% for vriska.

please also look at the GRAND TOTAL column, which has reliably predicted the winners of future polls each day. vriska has received 49,064 votes over the course of the whole contest. harry has received 64,644. that's 24% more votes. and yet the poll is locked at 50/50?

and if this isn't enough evidence for you, then remember the tumblr sexywoman poll. it is a FLAT FUCKING FACT that those polls were spammed by bots. out of respect for their privacy i won't go into detail, but they outright admitted it.

TO CONCLUDE,

it's pretty fucking obvious that something is up, and although i admit that there's simply no concrete way of proving it, there would have to be a really standout explanation for this.

and besides this being super lame, it's also removed all the fun from this contest. it's a stupid tumblr poll that wins literally nothing, congratulations!

also, to everyone making death threats in the notes, BOTH SIDES, you've failed my secret challenge of not being rude which means i'm judging you personally. be fucking nice.

#tumblr's plmm contest #to people campaigning lightheartedly: this post isn't about you you're great and fun #to people actually fighting and taking this way too seriously: what positive impact did you have?#and to people spamming bot votes: get fucked and get a life you're not funny #director's commentary #anon #yeah now i'm fucking mad #long post

1K notes · View notes