#the quote is actually from the wedding date which is one of my favorite movies

[tomatoland]

I would rather fight with you than make love with anyone else

TopMew, Only Friends Episode 11

[madlori]

On Tommy Kinard

"It's not that I don't like Buck and Tommy, it's just happening so fast, he's underdeveloped!"

*clears throat*

Here is a recap of what we know about Tommy. And this is just off the top of my head, I didn't rewatch anything.

He was closeted at the 118 before and found the atmosphere repressive. He (probably) acted like a dick to fit in. When presented with the chance to make things better, he took it, and developed positive relationships with Hen, Chim and Bobby.

He was in the army and trained there as a pilot.

He knows Muay Thai and has a set up in his house.

He likes to work on cars and has a lift at his house (where TF does he live is my question - he has some nerve being agog at Buck's loft if he has a muay thai gym and a car lift)

He is down for violating departmental policy at the drop of a hat (has done so on at least two occasions) to help a friend and has no problems fucking with the fire chief.

He is a nerd. He likes pub trivia and has incorrect Star Wars opinions, and can keep up with Chim in the movie-quoting department.

His favorite movie is "Love, Actually" and he likes craft beer and monster trucks.

He came out when he transferred to Harbor and felt comfortable enough to stop lying about who he was.

He follows MMA and has friends in Vegas who like him well enough to hook him up to a frankly insane degree.

He'll risk his own life and engage in helicopter skulduggery to save people he doesn't know...I mean, apart from doing that for a living.

He'll take time out of his day to give a tour to the cute boy who called him up and offer to give that boy flying lessons (a significant time investment) which was probably maybe about more one on one time with said boy.

He yearns for the belonging and found family that the 118 became after his departure and probably befriended Eddie hoping to earn a plate at the cookout, aside from just clicking with him.

He likes Eddie and Chris a lot and they like him. Chimney also likes him.

He was attracted to Buck right away and was emotionally aware enough to pick up on Buck's jealous feelings over Eddie and his friendship, even if he was surprised that it was him Buck wanted to get to know.

He respects and values Buck and Eddie's friendship and wanted to make sure Buck knew that.

He's brave enough to shoot his shot by planting one on a dude.

He's a lil bitchy but also generous and ready to throw in with this insane guy who's inviting him to a family wedding after 0.5 dates.

He showed up to a bachelor party when he was on call because Buck asked him to, then showed up in turnouts after fighting a fire for like 12 hours yadda yadda we all know this part.

He has got it BAD for one Evan Buckley, who he only calls "Evan" which according to LFJR is a conscious decision by the writers, which fascinates me.

He was willing to take a chance with a man just discovering his sexuality BUT wasn't willing to put himself through that if the man in question wasn't ready for it. When Buck showed him that he was, he was all in.

He does NOT take his coffee like that.

Oh and

He's a beast.

This is VASTLY more information than we knew about ANY of Buck's previous girlfriends with the possible exception of Abby. Even Taylor did not get this much development over 20 episodes (things we knew about her: she was an ambitious and ethically flexible reporter, did not eat fudge, had a dad in jail, and sometimes jogged for exercise, she was capable of being nice and did love Buck, I believe). And as for it being fast? Sometimes it just be like that? A relationship doesn't have to have year(s) of buildup. Sometimes people do just meet, like each other, and start dating, in fact in the real world that's usually what happens. It's in TV Land that you have to have eighteen seasons of UST before pulling the trigger. Most of the time in reality people just vibe off each other and decide to go out and THEN they learn about each other.

And they've got a great start. You'd think they'd barely spoken by how a few naysayers are talking about it - the loft scene was like a solid five minutes of very open conversation, the Cringe Date seemed to have gone well and again, open and honest (if cringey) conversation before Cockblocker Eddie showed up, and the coffee meetup was again....open and honest conversation. They're not gonna show us long scenes of them exchanging firefighting stories and workout preferences (I mean, I'd watch that, but it's not what the show is about).

In conclusion, anyone saying he's poorly developed or the relationship is "out of nowhere" either is being willfully obtuse or has ridiculously unrealistic expectations for relationships and/or what constitutes character development.

As for whether they have chemistry, that's a matter of subjective opinion. Given that a TON of people watched that harbor tour scene (even when it was posted as a sneak peek) and started going "wait...what's going on here...are they flirting??" might be a clue. People were talking about Bi!Buck maybe happening with Tommy based solely off that clip of the harbor tour and what they were seeing between them. And imho that loft scene was crackling. But we all see things through the lenses of our biases, myself included.

Got that off my chest, whew.

[actualbird]

i ended up on the tot wiki page for aaron recently and some details there really brought me so much joy and sparked some thoughts on my end

1 ) huh....did luke and aaron become friends because they were both DETECTIVE FANBOYS?????

"[...] With a passion for detective novels, Aaron uses his alternative identity, Sphynx, in order to challenge and defeat misfit detectives who walk on the wrong side of the law." -from the Big Data Lab Entry on the wiki

i find this funny cuz i already knew this, what with how heavily the Sphynx thing is featured in luke's personal stories, but it only now clicked in my head that, occupations aside, this is a common interest they both have. theyre both detective fiction NERDS.

we know luke is into sherlock of course, and he might also be into agatha cristie because of the book hes got on his bed with "AGATHA CHRISTIE" loudly emblazoned over it---

--but it makes me curious as to what specific detective novels and fiction aaron is into. does he also like the sherlock novels? does he have a favorite? did he and luke meet at the NSB because they got into an argument over which sherlock adaptation was best? in the year 2022, luke pearce was 17 years old and already in the midst of his Disappearance/NSB Recruit Boogaloo, and also the mystery movie Glass Onion came out, did luke take a break from the training to watch it together with aaron?

"he's a friend from the NSB" luke says about aaron to mc in the beginning, completely glossing over many details like how aaron's saved his life in the past and how aaron has a vigilante alternate identity and, Most Importantly, how aaron is a fandom buddy.

[at some point in the past]

aaron: youve totally written johnlock fic, havent you, kid?

luke: shut up

aaron: can i read it?

luke: what! no! it's---special to me, youre not allowed to--

aaron: i can beta your writing for you. fix up any pesky grammatical errors

luke: ..................i'll consider it

-

2 ) his featured quote on the page

i have no comments here aside form the crying actually, im just extremely emotional about aaron and luke all the time but especially Now because of this, because aaron is so wonderfully unwaveringly stubbornly a believer even the faintest glimmer of hope and how one needs to hold onto that, and that kind of mindset is what luke needed when he was at his lowest and aaAAAA

...MOVING ON

-

3 ) aaron the PECAN MAN

"Originally, Aaron is from a hometown outside Stellis that grows pecans, and he sometimes leaves boxes of them as gifts for his fellow doctors." -from the General write up on the wiki.

i cant believe i missed this detail, but it's true, it happens in luke's blossom chapter personal 02-01 (thank u @scientistsinistral for letting me know where!!)

i wonder how i missed it because it is JUST the kind of perfect tiny mundane character detail that i LOVE. aaron the pecan man from pecan town who leaves pecans from pecan town as gifts for others. im immensely endeared by this and think it wld be very funny if this became a running joke between him and luke

i now hc that whenever luke's birthday rolls around, aaron's gift to him is pecans. when luke gets injured on a mission and wakes up in the hospital, the "get well soon!" gift left on his bedside table is pecans. when aaron learns that luke finally confessed to mc and that theyre dating, his congratulations gift to luke is pecans. when luke and mc get married, guess what his wedding gift is to them? pecans.

also

[at some point in the past]

aaron: hey, so what did you end up naming your new pet bird?

luke: pe---

aaron: :D

luke: ----eanut. peanut.

aaron: :|

luke: what?

aaron: you really set on that, already? there are better nuts out there

luke: ...

-

in conclusion: i love aaron.

[danniluisee]

~just passing through~

~.*Sakuatsu Fic Masterlist *.~

[for my personal use to keep track and close tabs from my browser. But, feel free to read them as well ( ^ω^ ) Contains my fave lines or quotes from the fic, will update regularly hehe ★〜]

Legend:

♡彡 ~ Timeless Personal Favorite

★彡 ~ Favorite

★彡 play me like a movie (that you’ve never seen) by lunarins (G, 13.2k, 1 ch, entertainment industry au)

Blurb: It’s not that Atsumu doesn’t get along with Sakusa Kiyoomi. Miya Atsumu is someone who gets along with everyone. He’s an idol, after all. They just…well, they just don’t really get along.

Fave Quote: “Sakusa Kiyoomi and I are very good friends,,

Personal Note: Okie, paying homage to the first Sakuatsu fic I have read. Cut to me not knowing how to navigate AO3 that much and just looking up the haikyuu tag and coming across this fic *wheeze*. It was really cute and I was hooked, led me to the rest of these fics and I’m never looking back. Really cute, fluff and all (*´꒳`*).

♡彡 Four Vlogs and a Wedding by lettersinpetals (T, 15.6k, 4 ch, canon, pt 3 of this love isn’t crazy series)

Blurb: Sakusa and Atsumu go road tripping in California. What could go wrong?

Fave Quote: (Atsumu, ch 2) “When I say I cried, I mean I f*cking cried. And then...I fell to my knees and practically begged him to marry me,, (Kiyoomi, ch 3) “To those who are inevitably going to ask, ‘Have you gone insane? Were you two drunk?’ I want you to know that I made this decision with eyes wide open,,

Personal Note: Alright this fic— I advise that you read the series in order to get the full effect. This is pt 3 out of 4 in the series [link with title]— this fic has and still remains my favorite Sakuatsu fic I have read, ever. When I think of them, I think of this. I have cried reading almost every chapter. No regrets (*´∀｀*). CHAPTER 3, GUYS CHAPTER 3, I swear I cried the most there. The writer, lettersinpetals, if u have tumblr pls I want to send u my regards <33, you have every right when being that good AAAA kudos kudos!! PLS, I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE >_< Though shorter, this barred a little bit higher than my other timeless fave “ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend”. For the quote, I couldn’t pick just one. But, the ones above really just sunk to me. Luv luv luv this fic, could and would read it anytime, how many number of times, and it wouldn’t get old. Pls send it and the author some love (*^ω^*).

♡彡 ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend by solyn (M, 110.6k, 11 ch, university au)

Blurb: Atsumu needs a fake date. Sakusa needs a fake boyfriend. What could possibly go wrong?

Fave Quote: “Kyoomi, d’ya trust me?,, “Yes,,

Personal Note: This fic *clap* I just can’t— omg. Though it is a (very) slow burn, it was very enjoyable to read. It was really hard choosing my fave quote cause there are a LOT. But, I think what I have chosen encapsulated the fic as a whole (to me). Definite must read!

The Story of Us by thesweetestners (M, 98.2k, 11 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu has spent the last year falling in love with Sakusa Kiyoomi, but it's a secret they've never told anybody else. When a car accident snatches Omi's memories from the past two years away, Atsumu is left as the only one in the world who ever knew their relationship existed.

Fave Quote: “Ya remember my team motto, right? I don’t need the memories,,

Personal Note: I AM DECEASED. I— i cried a lot. It actually took me a while to get to this for fear of the plot, like the blurb sounds so good but idk there was a fear of me reading it. Actually, as i look back, its probably the angst tag that scared me HAHAAHHA but im so glad i did read it. Would recommend if you want to cry. Especially the last 2 chapters \(//∇//)\

The MSBY Black Jackals Read Thirst Tweets by isaksara (syailendra) (M, 11.4k, 2 ch, canon)

Blurb: In which Atsumu realizes that he is attracted to Sakusa Kiyoomi in the most inconvenient way possible.

Fave Quote: “What is wrong with people,,

★彡 The MSBY Black Jackals Take a Lie Detector Test by sifuhotman (T, 12.4k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: The MSBY Black Jackals test their friendship as they probe deep into each others' personal lives.

Unfortunately for Sakusa, that means confessing to a number of accusations: who he thinks is currently the best V. League player, if he thinks he'll make the Olympic Volleyball team, and whether or not he has feelings for Miya Atsumu.

Fave Quote: “It’s you, it’s always been you,,

every action has an equal and opposite reaction by akanemnida (T, 10.4k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Miya Atsumu gets a modeling contract with Calvin Klein, which sets Kiyoomi's heart in motion.

Fave Quote: “But why is it that I don’t give more than two f*cks about your advertisements, or the fact that you give me the best tosses, or that you’ve perfected three serves, but I can’t stop thinking of the day you gave me onigiri?,,

Take Me Home by thesweetestnerd (T, 4.1k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu and Kiyoomi decide to keep their relationship a secret from the team, but when Kiyoomi gets drunk, he might blow their whole cover.

Fave Quote: “Don’t answer that, Omi,, “Yes,, “Ah, damn it,,

Clipped to You by littleboat (T, 8.1k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

Fave Quote: “Can I put one in your hair?,,

all my life, been wanting this forever by comfortcharacters (T, 1.0k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Nothing seemed to be out of place. Except, of course, for the small fact of Atsumu facing his own personal hell come to life, taking the form of one Sakusa Kiyoomi perched happily in his lap.

Fave Quote: “Atsumu, does it look like I care?,,

Call Me Maybe by kitkatwrites (T, 1.8k, 1 ch, ER visit au)

Blurb: “What caused your nosebleed?” Dr. Sakusa asks, typing something into a computer next to him.

“M’ brother smacked me in the face with a Wii controller,” Atsumu tells him. “We were playing Just Dance 4,” he adds.

Dr. Sakusa raises an eyebrow. “What song?” He asks, and suddenly Atsumu feels very awkward.

“Call Me Maybe,” he mumbles.

Fave Quote: “Call me maybe,, “No thank you,,

The Wisdom Tooth Incident™ by allinadayofiwaoi (G, 4.8k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “I dun think ma boyfriend will ‘preciate ya touchin’ me like that,” he whispered, dead-serious. “ ‘m not a cheater.”

Fave Quote: “And you call me Omi,, “Omi! Thank ya omi. Omi-Omi-Omi-Omi,,

have my heart, my love by samugiiri (1.7k, 1 ch, canon songfic)

Blurb: “Mm, Omi?” The setter’s voice is muffled by the spiker’s shirt as the former buries his head into the latter’s chest. Kiyoomi gives a soft hum in reply and Atsumu continues speaking.

“This song reminds me of us.”

“How so?”

“Listen ta the lyrics, Omi!”

Fave Line: “I love you because you have those Polaroids of me inside your nightstand,,

★彡 Last One to Midnight Loses! by evelynwrites (T, 14.9k, 2 ch, canon)

Blurb: The year may be new, but this love story was many in the making. Miya Atsumu vs His New Year's Resolutions: Speedrun Edition

Fave Quote: “What would you want to have if it didn’t cost you a damn thing?,, (wait,,, i ask myself the same thing (＞人＜;) )

tooru talks by floatyyourself (T, 5.5k, 1 ch, alternate profession au)

Blurb: Sakusa Kiyoomi, best-selling author of the Memento Mori series, has been confirmed to be making an appearance on late-night show Tooru Talks, staring Oikawa Tooru. The news has been confirmed by Sakusa's agency Itachiyama, who had just recently released a schedule of the author's promotional schedule.

According to Oikawa, Sakusa will also be joined by another guest but the identity of the guest will remain a secret. "The guest is someone we're all big fans of," the talk show host reveals. "But that's all I'm going to be saying about the topic because I don't want to spoil the fun."

Tooru Talks airs live nightly every weekend.

Fave Quote: “Who would want to listen to love songs over and over?,, “You talk a lot for someone who just published a romance story for the twentieth time,,

Champagne Problems by TwilaFrost (T, 3.0k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu struggles with depression and how it affects his self-worth in the eyes of others, especially his boyfriend who he thinks deserves so much more.

Fave Quote: “Share your burdens with me, I’ll take them. I’ll hold them all,, (pls get me someone like sakusa kiyoomi T^T)

Yours if You Want It by keenbean (G, 2.4k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Sakusa asks Atsumu out. Naturally, Atsumu panics.

Fave Quote: “Then tell me. What do you want?,, “You,,

One Time Thing by awkwardedgeworth (G, 1.6k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: "Hey. Is your face okay?" Atsumu leans back slightly, brows pulled together in concern, "You look like you're emotionally constipated."

"Shut up."

Then Sakusa leans forward, closes his eyes and presses his lips against something cool.

Fave Quote: “Remember, Omi? Just like old times,, “Idiot,,

atsumu and his love for kisses by sakusakym (T, 1.5k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “Absolutely insufferable. But, you’re also absolutely beautiful, Miya.”

Fave Quote: “Have I told you how much I love you, Omi-kun?,, “You have, multiple times.,, “I know,,

you stole my heart (with just one look) by yearningbi (T, 2.3k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Kiyoomi proposes, accidentally. Title from 'stole my heart' by one direction

Fave Quote: “Good, because I have a no-return policy,, “I wouldn't give you up for anything in the whole world,,

penny for your thoughts (dollar for your smile) by blulights (T, 3.3k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Their nightly outings have taught Atsumu three things. 1. Bokuto Koutarou has a liver of steel and trying to outdrink him will result in alcohol poisoning (see subject no. 1, Hinata Shoyo, for proof). 2. Meian Shugo is a highly coordinated volleyball player but can’t get his head out of his ass long enough to actually land a shot in pool. 3. Sakusa Kiyoomi is a happy drunk.

Or: Atsumu learns that Sakusa has dimples

Fave Quote: “Thank you Bokkun for sendin’ me into the early stages of liver failure.” ( it’s not sappy, but this one is just hilarious XD )

Curiousity killed the Jackal by yamaguchis_ahoge (T, 2.6k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “Oh sh*t.” Atsumu exclaims, panicked look on his face. Bokuto cocks his head to the side,

“What?” Atsumu pulls at the ring on his finger, it doesn’t budge.

“I can’t take it off!” He whispers, though there’s no one to reprimand them. Hinata’s eyes widen,

“Take it off.” He says, unhelpfully. Atsumu scowls,

“I can’t! I just told ya! It’s stuck.” He whines.

Fave Quote: “Marry me?,, “Yeah, I think I will,,

hands that heal by n33ks (G, 1.5k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Sakusa somehow sprains his wrist during practice. Atsumu is the first to notice something is wrong and offers to help.

Fave Line: “And dimples. He has dimples,,

Your b*stard by TroglodyteMonologue (T, 6.9k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: Atsumu has asked Sakusa Kiyoomi to marry him three times. The fourth time, Kiyoomi beats him to the punch.

Fave Quote: “You’re not the only one scared of being vulnerable,,

Read the Receipt by hhhhhhhappycow (G, 6.6k, 1 ch, canon)

Blurb: “I think we’re done here, thank you, Osamu. If we could just have the bill?”

As though waiting for those words, Osamu removed a small square of paper from his pocket.

And leaned over to slam the paper down on the table in front of Sakusa. “You’re paying tonight.”

“What?”, Atsumu squawked, his eyebrows traveling further up his forehead. “Why?”

“He knows why.”

Fave Quote: “Maybe they’re involved in something shady. You know, like the mafia,,

[lovealexhunt]

And so Dani cries over HWU has ended (but will it ever really?). *sigh* I will always adore the app and the love of writing I developed because of Thomas Hunt. I know I don't need the app to keep Thomas alive, but it was nice knowing it was there if I ever wanted it. (Clearly I wrote this when I actually thought the app was leaving 🤷‍♀️)

I can't thank those of you who support Thomas and Alex's story enough. I love all the pairings I write for, but these two will always have a special place in my heart. I honestly believe writing for them saved my life, and for that I will always be grateful to them and to you for keeping up with their story and their adventures. I hope to keep writing them whether in the HWU universe or RCD or even another AU I've yet to explore.

Thank you again to everyone who has ever read, liked, reblogged, and/or commented on my work! Special shoutouts to @lilyoffandoms and @trappedinfandoms for being with me since basically day one! And @theicestarme @peonyblossom and @quixoticdreamer16 for joining me more recently, but always being the most lovely and supportive especially during this Farewell week. The kind words and lovely thoughts you five have left on the things I've posted have truly meant the world to me. I am forever grateful to you!

Complete masterlist below the cut. I'm still waiting on one art piece and a few fics I still hope to complete.

#01: Kiss the Cook by @bayleedrawsx

#02: You're my Weakness by @rpbys

#03: The One I Want by @hydn-jpg

#04: Being Together by @vantaray

#05: Worth the Risk by @gokushairgel

#06: Free by @/artsy_elii (Instagram)

#07: Moving in Together by @/seirachannn (Instagram)

#08: A Night to Remember by @/irdeinfierno (Instagram)

#09: My Forever by @/artbyainna (Instagram)

#10: And That's a Wrap by  @/sherry_artwo (Instagram)

#11: Not Goodbye (gift) from @hydn-jpg

#12: Trapped by @/mm1kaa_ (Instagram)

[All HWU appreciation week Art in one post]

Stories are listed chronologically

Trapped (Hunt's Journal): Hunt reflects on his night being trapped in the studio with Alex. 

My Weakness (Hunt's Journal): Following the events of the Date Auction in which Hunt was punched by and then punched a drunk idiot to defend Alex and confessed his weakness to her, he goes home and journals about the events.

The One I Want: After confessing to Alex she’s the one he wants at his dinner party, their moment together lingers a little longer.

Being Together: Hunt and Alex are taking the ferry to Catalina Island for their first official date.

Forbidden Romance: Hunt can’t stop himself from critique films, even on a date.

Worth the Risk:  At the drive in, Hunt and Alex await the movie’s start.

Moving In Together: Following Rachel’s wedding, Hunt asks Alex to move in with him. Now, comes the unpacking.

A Night to Remember: While moving in to his their house, Alex finds a small curious box with something familiar.

My Forever (Hunt's Journal) : What started out as a simple gift from the flea market changed everything. (engagement)

Kiss the Cook: After moving in, Alex and Hunt make dinner together.

Harrison Byrd (HWU)

Autumn Brooks (HSS visiting HWU)

Ethan Blake (HWU)

Addison Sinclair (HWU)

Julian Castillo (HSS visiting HWU)

Chris Winters (HWU)

Lisa Mermaid Valentine (HWU)

Thomas Hunt (quote by Thomas Hunt!) (HWU)

Peyton Saunders (HSS visiting HWU)

Holly Chang (HWU)

Videos:

Amour Hunt Date Quest Videos

Hollywood U assorted Videos

Custom Hunt Funkos

Thomas Hunt Custom Funko Pops

Thomas Hunt Custom Funko Pops #2

Thomas Hunt Custom Funko Pops #3

Throwback Fics:

A Choice/Free: Bianca is using Hunt’s relationship with Alex (a student) to blackmail him into being a positive character reference at her probation hearing.

Love Among The Stars: Addison has a story to tell and a special gift for the happy couple. Is it true love? (A Hollywood U legend/story plays an important role in this RCD au wedding fic.) *The Quest this fic is based on is one of my favorites and I really love this story. I hope you do as well!

Love & Scotch: dx: Beards: Alex and Hunt are planning their wedding and waiting on one more RSVP, a certain doctor who has just returned from the Amazon.

Screenshots/Memories:

Alex ruining Hunt’s plans to remain a bachelor for life

Hunt admits Alex is the one he wants

Thomas Hunt outfit assets

Hunt plays Choices

Reward: Thomas Hunt (aka the best reward)

Alex tripping on purpose so Hunt would catch her aka idiots in love

Thomas and Alex in Couples Corner gifs and other gifs and screenshots

Thomas and Alex workshopping gifs

Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! 🥺🥺🥺

[hotkoyo]

SFW Howie Alphabet Headcanons

Author's Note: When will my husband come home from war?

Disclaimer: These headcanons are based on how I imagine Howie to be based on the game. You don't have to agree with what I say here as everyone is free to have their own ideas.

𝄥 𝄞 ── 𝄇

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

VERY affectionate. I honestly feel like he grew up surrounded with so much love and now he’s just overflowing with it. Howie is all about showing his love through warm hugs, having his arm around you, swinging your hands as you walk, head pats, you name it. Another one, in my opinion, is words of affirmation. He'd tell you how much you matter to him through words, like quoting lines from his favorite movies and saying "I love you" before you both go to sleep.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Affectionate. Lots of play fighting and cuddling during movie sessions. Singing to Disney songs at the top of your lungs. You guys make friendship bracelets for each other (and he never takes off his). Definitely one of those dudes who drive their best friend everywhere.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

If it’s not apparent already, this dude is a giant golden retriever and he lives for the cuddles. He is born to cuddle, baby. Due to his size, it’s natural that he ends up as a big spoon more often than not but he definitely loves the moments he gets to be the small spoon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

So domestic, even when you guys just started dating. It’s easy to imagine yourself settling down with someone as warm and comforting as Howie. He would love to settle down and build a home with you and you guys love having conversations about your dream house and how your life would be like in five, ten years. He’s alright at cooking in general but can cook some amazing Chinese dishes that his mom taught him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would be hard for him to get out of a relationship, to be completely honest. He’s one of those people who easily gets attachment issues and finds it hard to move on from a relationship. If he really has to be the one to end the relationship, he would want to talk it out with you and try to end your relationship on a good note. I feel like he’s one of those people who really values respect, even when things aren’t working out anymore between you two.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Howie is a hopeless romantic and while he does have his insecurities, I feel like he would really love to commit to someone. In terms of marriage, it really depends on you. I don’t think his career would hinder him much when it comes to popping the question, to be honest. If he feels like he’s comfortable enough with the relationship and sees that you are, too, I think he’d propose to you when he feels like the time is right.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Howie is a textbook example of a gentle giant. He knows he’s strong so physically, he knows when to hold back a bit. Emotionally, it’s canon that he’s a soft and caring boy through and through and he would never hurt you on purpose.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ugh, he LOVES hugs. It’s canon that the Yan fam is really good with hugs so if you need a pick-me-up, he’s your man. Whenever you guys are alone, he acts like an overgrown koala because he can’t get enough of hugging you. If hot chocolate is a hug, it’s what Howie’s would feel like. Warm, familiar, and comforting.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He knows he loves you when he does but holds back a lot in fear of coming off too strong. If he feels that you feel the same, then he would say it pretty quickly into the relationship or during a spur of a moment. If it seems that you need more time, he would hold back just so that you wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s the type who’s less jealous and more insecure. His jealousy isn’t going to make him act rashly and put you on the spot. It’s slow and creeping and you might not notice at first because of how well he conceals it but it becomes apparent by the way he starts to act distant.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Warm and gentle. His kisses make you feel so safe and loved and he likes to take the time to show you how he feels through the gesture. He loves to kiss you everywhere but his favorite places to kiss you are your nose and temples.

Also, kiss him on the forehead and he’d melt into a puddle. Another one of his hotspots is at the back of his neck. Kiss him there and watch him sputter as he tries to gain back his bearings.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He loves kids, kids love him. He humors the kids a lot and is a great impersonator so prepare yourself for some improvised skits in front of the kiddos. Can’t say no to the kids, though, so you might have to step in from time to time. Kids treat him like a human jungle gym. Which he actually is.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

I definitely see him as a morning person. Also, he’s so fit that you can’t tell me he doesn’t workout every single morning. Probably goes on an early jog and is one of those people who seems so chipper even if it's only seven in the morning.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Have you seen actors with their stage makeup on? There’s no way Howie’s skin stays so smooth and supple without some form of skincare routine. Has his own skincare routine and loves doing it with you together in front of the mirror (while making faces at you). After a good skincare session, he'll sit on the couch or in bed with you cuddled up to him as he reads scripts from his new upcoming projects.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Depending on how much he trusts you, it could be sooner or later. The thing with him is that he keeps things bottled up to himself. It’s hard and it’s tiring and the moment he feels safe with you, the dam breaks and he starts to reveal things about himself.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It’s definitely hard to annoy Howie and even harder to provoke him. He has the patience of a saint and unless something is very wrong, you can always find him just chillin lol.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He’s quite sentimental so he definitely remembers your relationship milestones. He remembers a lot of small things about you; like how you like your cereal and your best friend’s name from high school. Some of the details can be fuzzy at times but he tries!

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Canonically: The moment you said yes when he asked to be your boyfriend at Luca’s "sister's wedding".

Headcanon: The time you both visited his family in Chicago for the holidays. You were walking home from dinner when the snowfall turned into a snowstorm. It was terribly cold and windy but you both kept on laughing at the situation and you looked so gorgeous with snow stuck to your hair under the waning streetlight that he didn’t even care that he's freezing his butt off.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Isn’t too protective in the traditional sense because he knows you can take care of yourself. More protective of how you feel because of his words and actions so he’s careful in what he says and how he says them because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Highkey loves to be protected tho. Thinks it's kinda hot.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Puts a lot of effort in his career, obviously. Howie is always so passionate and ambitious when it comes to being a top actor. Relationship-wise, he’s a simp. Dates are mostly casual with him but he puts extra time and effort in choosing or making gifts. All the extra and expensive bits goes into your anniversary dates.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A lot of times, he leaves his wet, sweaty workout shirts at the corner of the room and somehow always forgets no matter how many times you’ve scolded him. Sometimes doesn’t close or tie snack packages properly so when it's your turn to eat them, they’re often stale. A terrible snorer when he’s had a long day on set.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Quite concerned. He likes to highlight the nice parts of his body through the clothes he choose to wear and tries to follow a healthy diet in general. He worked hard for his body and as much as embarrassing as it is to admit, he loves to show off and be admired for it (especially by you).

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

A strong believer that every person is complete and whole on their own. He believes that every person is their own and just because you love someone, it doesn't mean that your life must revolve around that person. Even so, he is a romantic. So even if he knows that he's complete without you, he does prefer to have you by his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He can play the piano really well. Aside from dance lessons, his parents put aside a lot of money to sign him up for piano classes when he was younger. Now, he plays them whenever he’s deep in thought and it’s always relaxing to hear him play.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In general, Howie doesn’t like broccoli. Keep those away from him. Please. When it comes to partners, Howie stays away from people who make him feel less. Basically people who put him down for being who he is and liking the things he likes. Narcissists, if you will.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He’s a snuggler and he nuzzles into your side a lot when he sleeps. Whether you get too warm is your problem because this dude is Strong™ and won’t let you push him aside that easily. And, God, I hate to say this but he’s definitely a snorer. Not all the time but when he’s really tired.... let’s just say you won’t be getting a decent sleep.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 03

(Masterpost)(Previous Episode) 

Warning: Spoilers for all 50 episodes!

 Wei Wuxian demonstrates the purple nurple technique of the Jiang Clan

Should’ve Used Trivago

The Jiang Clan’s reservation got cancelled while they were on the road, so they are going to wander around this small inn for hours being fussed about it, rather than trying another inn. Yes they say the other inns are all full but…so is this one, now. 

The Jin Clan sends an advance party to fancy up the inn for them.

Fuckboi Wei Wuxian

Wei Wuxian decides to use his considerable powers of prettiness to get them a room.  He drops some poetry on Mianmian and brazenly flirts with her before shifting to properly introducing himself and asking for a room. 

This actually works.

...until her boss shows up.

(Much much more after the cut!)

Worst Person // Best Jin

Jin ZIxuan is an ass and a snob. 

I guess we have to give him credit for having a beautiful sidekick and never hitting on her, given that his dad is a rapist and one of his half-brothers is (reputedly) a sex pest and the other half brother is (definitely) an incest perp. But I feel like it doesn’t take much to be the best Jin of his or his father’s generation.

The Jin folks are snobs and talk about how great their fancy and expensive stuff is. It’s an interesting contrast with true connoisseur Nie Huaisang, who loves everything that is fine and beautiful and can quote stacks of poetry off the top of his head, but is not even a little bit of a snob. 

This Tea Smells Like Farts

Ok, let’s talk about generation names in the Jin clan. Ru is the name for Jin Ling’s generation, hence his courtesy name Rulan. The name for the current generation is apparently Zi (子), because both Zixuan and his jerk cousin Zixun have that as their name.  Sect Leader Jin Guangshan would seem to be using the generation name Guang, but then names his son Jin Guangyao so…the whole system breaks down. 

Anyway, my point here is that even considering generation names, if I had a baby and named it Zixuan, and my sister-in-law promptly had a baby and named it Zixun, I would slap her. 

Find you a lover who does not make you feel like this 

Jin Zixuan is mildly intrigued by his betrothed, and expresses it by being rude to her in front of Wei Wuxian, starting a chain of events that will culminate with Wen Ning’s fist going all the way through Jin Zixuan’s chest.

Side Note: Look at these young Jiang Brothers and their casual shoulder hugs. Sigh.

Wei Wuxian’s Combat PlayBook

When Wei Wuxian wants to throw down, he starts with smack talk, moves along to boundary crossing, then to direct threats, and then brings out a weapon if he hasn’t won already. 

Here he starts shit with Jin Zixuan by complaining at him for taking up too much space and having too many sycophants.  Then he goes for the unwelcome shoulder touch. 

Having been sufficiently provocative to get someone to draw a sword and threaten him with physical violence, he shifts to formal verbal sparring. 

This gets the other guy to back down, because even at this age no-one actually wants to tangle with Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian gets to claim the moral advantage, although he still doesn’t get to keep his hotel room. 

Actually Not A Fan of My Sister’s Betrothal

Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli have the first of many, many moments of heterosexual ineptitude together. Wei Wuxian quickly rescues them.

Hi, I’m Young Master Cockblock.

Neither of the boys understands what Yanli sees in Zixuan and neither do I, at this juncture. He does improve later after multiple beatings from Wei Wuxian.

This Is The Day Your Life Will Surely Change

Yanli’s encounter in the Inn is the first step toward the inexorable end of the three of them as a unit, although it’s still a long ways off. They are all growing up and she and Wei Wuxian are both going to fall in love at summer camp, like in a 1980s teen movie but without the virginity betting (presumably). 

Meanwhile poor Jiang Cheng is going to be swept along just trying to keep up with events, which becomes the story of his life for the next two decades.

Welcome to Transylvania

We meet Wen Ruohan. He is boring and he sucks. Also I’m summarizing the Transylvania parts out of order because they break up the rhythm of the story. And are boring and suck.

We meet Xue Yang. He seems nice.

Wen Ruohan’s living room is like a shitty nightclub where everyone is too drunk to dance except Xue Yang.

Dee Jay: Undead undead undead, Bela Lugosi’s dead

[OP can’t get a video to embed in this post with looping enabled, so the alternate version of this joke has its own post right here. That will teach OP to get fancy.]

Anyhoo

We meet Wen Qing. She is the bestest most wonderful girl in the world but this isn’t actually when we find that out. 

Right now we just find out that she is absurdly pretty, that she loves her brother deeply, and that she is helping Wen Ruohan with his “take over the world by murdering cultivators” project. OKAY, PROBLEMATIC, BUT SHE IS THE BESTEST GIRL OKAY? 

Gatekeeping

The Jiang Clan don’t get another inn but they do manage to change into immaculate white robes while they’re out on the street, so - nice work, Jiang Clan. Be free!

They get stuck outside the gate because they don’t know that the secret to getting into Cloud Recesses is to set the gate guard on fire. 

Walking Thirst Trap Hanguang-Jun

Lan Wangji shows up and everyone except Yanli, who is already in love with Sir Golden Pants, makes thirst faces at him. Including Jiang Cheng tho he will never admit it. One girl in the background is actually biting her knuckle. 

Note: Lan Wangji knows exactly how fine he is. Look at his fucking hairstyle. 

He is sixteen years old. The only person in the entire cultivation world with fancier hair is Nie Mingjue, and that’s because he indulges his dìdi’s braiding hobby. 

Wei Wuxian loudly stage whispers that LWJ is their key to getting in and LWJ is is like, not fucking likely, person I didn’t glance at yet. 

But then Wei Wuxian says a smart cultivator thing about the puppet dude, and Lan Wangji turns around and has the first of many long mutual staring sessions with this boy he totally isn’t going to like at all.

Jiang Cheng has a bad feeling about the future: a 2-frame gif

Unrelated gardening note: the red-crack puppet is more commonly grown in Gusu and Dafan, while the black-line puppet is native to Yiling

I Must Arrange a Date with this Uninteresting Boy

The rest of the evening is a series of tests that Lan Wangji puts Wei Wuxian through. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know this and Lan Wangji probably doesn’t exactly know it either. 

First he sends WWX back to town to get the invitation. Yes, go get it. Not your entourage; YOU, talky person who thinks he can manipulate me and is smart and looks...intriguing. Go find it and come back. 

When Wei Wuxian complains, Lan Wangji silences him, which is literally the most boss move he could have used on smooth talking Wei Wuxian. 

You tried, Fuckboi.

Would you like to try some more because I think I would like you to try some more

Jiang Cheng is the Better Baby Brother

Sorry, he just is. Wei Wuxian is all about being taken care of and adoring Yanli without actually doing much for her. Jiang Cheng is the one who thinks about her feelings and giving her what she needs, even to the point of arranging that wedding rehearsal dinner so she can be with her favorite brother again -- the favorite who isn’t him, much as she also loves him. 

Date Test 1: Can You Get In.

Once Wei Wuxian is definitely gone, Lan Wangji shows up again and collects the entire retinue, guaranteeing that Wei Wuxian will be stranded outside the gate when he gets back.  LWJ doesn’t wait by the gate; he goes and waits up on the roof instead of going to bed or whatever else he’s supposed to be doing. Because he already knows the route Wei Wuxian will be taking. 

Wei Wuxian passes the “get in through the wards” test with no problem besides a minor headache and bent fingers. 

Is that Xiao Zhan’s hand or did they use a double-jointed hand model?

Date Test 2: Fight Me (Lan Wangji’s Combat Playbook)

As soon as Wei Wuxian shows up on the roof, Lan Wangji picks a fight with him. 

LWJ fights all the time; he’s perfectly comfortable when he’s fighting and it’s a good venue for him to express himself. His style is graceful and aggressive. 

Attack attack attack strike a pose, vogue, you know it.  

He starts by going all in on swordplay, but that doesn’t gain him the advantage; Wei Wuxian fends him off without ever drawing his sword. Which is probably the hottest thing that has ever happened to Lan Wangji in his young life.

Do you like me better when I’m horizontal? 

Next Lan Wangji deploys the pettiness by breaking WWX’s wine. Then when Wei Wuxian starts insulting him he upgrades to next level pettiness by dropping another silence spell, this time with the added bonus of preventing WWX from drinking. 

Wei Wuxian’s Combat Playbook, Redux

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is running his own fight routine, starting with a charm attack, which doesn’t work at all. 

Are you admiring the moon? 

He keeps trying to de-escalate for the first phase of their fight, until they reach a pause and he reflects that Lan Wangji has real skills. As soon as he makes that determination he goes on the offensive - with words. 

He very formally says he’s too busy to continue fighting, and turns away, which is a pretty solid roast when you say it to someone who’s been trying really hard to kick your ass. Then he continues defending easily until Lan Wangji uses the wine against him. 

At this point the gloves come off, with Lan Wangji lecturing Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian making ad hominem attacks, Lan Wangji forcibly shutting him up... 

...and then throwing him on the floor in front of Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen. 

Sincere Grief for the Death of our Colleague

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen feel really bad for their disciple who has been horribly turned into an undead creature. Ha ha j/k

Date Test 3: Face the Authorities

Lan Wangji gets to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment.  This probably won’t awaken anything in him. 

Surprise surprise, Wei Wuxian actually passes the Authority test with flying colors. Lan Qiren doesn’t like him, but listens respectfully to his thoughts about the undead cultivator. And Lan Xichen clearly does like him.

When Wei Wuxian learns that Lan Wangji was nice to his sister, his entire demeanor changes, to such an enormous degree that Lan Wangji starts to run away.

He’s not going to let this boy (who has passed all the tests oh no he passed all the tests) make out with him in front of his family like he is obviously planning. 

But once again, Wei Wuxian’s cultivation knowledge captures Lan Wangji’s attention and breaks through his reserve. 

This Hardy Boys moment is the beginning of their cultivation partnership.

Lan Wangji is brave but is extremely constrained: by the authorities in his life and by his own rigid reserve. Wei Wuxian is brave and is also free. His companionship gives Lan Wangji an opportunity to engage with a much broader range of the things that interest him than he’s ever had before. 

After Wei Wuxian has been sent to bed, Lan Wangji stands outside and -- just as WWX had suggested at the beginning of their date/fight -- admires the moon, with an expression that’s anything but upset. 

Sure, sex is cool (probably), but have you ever analyzed a walking corpse with a beautiful boy in the moonlight?

If you’ve got your true honey Life can be pretty funny If you've got money, money to burn Rooty toot toot for the moon It's the biggest star I've ever seen

The Fine-as-Hell Brothers

Alone together, Lans Xichen and Wangji talk over the various things on their minds. 

Xichen: What the fuck is up with you? ...Rooftop fights and dropping spells on boys?

Wangji: You and uncle were ignoring me so I was making my own fun

Xichen: Yeah, we are dealing with this zombie situation; shit’s going to hit the fan

Wangji: what are you going to do about it?

Xichen: fuck-all

Wangji: Well, you can rely on me

Xichen: I totally do. So how about you get to know this Wei kid, he seems like a fun ride.

Wangji: *death glare*

Xichen: You know, since Dad died you’ve become even more uptight. I wonder if I’ve been too strict with you?

Wangji: Um, you think? 3000 fucking rules, dude. Fortunately I’m not going to go off the rails and fall in love with my polar opposite and cause havoc in the cultivation world or anything like that.

Xichen: good, me neither

Outtro

Writing prompt: Lan Xichen’s secret nightly letter to his Mom’s memory or spirit (your choice), in which he confides in her about his day. May be written in flute solo form. 

(As always if you use this prompt feel free to post a link to your fic in comments!)

Soundtrack: 1. This Is The Day by The The  2.  Bela Lugosi’s Dead by Bauhaus 3. Rooty Toot Toot for the Moon, Greg Brown version 4. Madonna, Vogue

Bonus: FineAsHell-Jun

Episode 04 Restless Rewatch coming soon!

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Here is the first one

Second :D

And last..he's looking at you 👀💦

ALRIGHT you know WHAT—

There’s…a lot going on here. So much so, that I have decided to create

CONTEXT

for these three images that is

COMPLETELY FAKE

because I think it’ll be a fun writing exercise. kind of a cringe move on my part, but consider: i have fun making up ridiculous lies about characters who don’t exist in real life.

(which is how I’m treating these, by the way. yes, they are pictures of kaneko nobuaki, but for my purposes, they are NOT actually him. they are distinct fictional characters who are not real.)

so if you’re feeling adventurous skip below the cut and watch me break it down:

Image 1: Accidental “Date” Makes Cousin’s Wedding Less Terrible Than Originally Expected

The year is 1999. Your cousin (who you are not particularly close to) is getting married…on a cruise ship. Your mother insists you attend. You insist upon spending 90% of your time sipping margaritas on the deck and flipping through the latest issue of Marie Claire while trying desperately not to think about the fact that you are surrounded by nothing but open ocean.

One of the (very drunk) bridesmaids tries to toss you a beach ball because you have been, and I quote: like, a total bummer this whole time. She misses. It hits the person next to you in the face. Great. Awesome. You think: well now who’s being, like, a total bummer?

Luckily the person who got hit in the face laughs the entire thing off. He says your friends seem…’lively.’ You say that’s pretty rich coming from a guy who looks like a rejected member of ‘The Clash.’ He insists that he left them, not the other way around.

You slip into conversation. You tell him that you’re here for a wedding. He offers his condolences. You accept them. He says he actually likes weddings—something about two people making a life-changing commitment speaks to him on a soul-level. That and the open bar, of course.

You suggest he crash the wedding. He says he’s not sure if he can make it—there’s a shuffleboard tournament that evening that he would just hate to miss, plus the latest issue of Soap Opera Digest is waiting on his bedside table just begging to be opened. You say that’s perfectly understandable, but, if he suddenly finds himself caught up on the latest All My Children gossip, he can meet you back here at four.

Surprise, surprise: he shows up. He’s wearing the same shirt he was before, but buttoned up this time—and with one of the most hideous neckties you’ve ever seen, which he apparently borrowed from the kind old man next door. Instead of complimenting his attire (because it is truly un-compliment-able), you take the opportunity to mention that this is a Titanic-themed wedding. He says that having a Titanic-themed wedding on a cruise ship is “kind of fucked up” and you solemnly agree.

Everyone is very surprised and pleased to see that you’ve brought a date—even the bride, who tells you that you’re “just like Jack and Rose.” You agree, much to her delight…until you say that, if the ship goes down, you also won’t share the door and let him freeze to death in the icy water. He insists he’d be the guy who jumps off the ship and hits his leg on the propellor—that’s his favorite part of the whole movie, and it’d be an honor to re-enact the scene.

The wedding is…a wedding. Vows, toasts, pictures—and you’re sipping champagne through the entire thing. The two of you spend the evening getting completely wasted and telling everyone a different story about just who your ‘mystery date’ is. Highlights include: the captain’s unruly son whose been tasked with following in his father’s sea-faring footsteps; professional cave-diver who discovered a new species of slug and is spending his reward money on a nice vacation; head of marketing who gives all those clever names to the nail polishes at OPI; the guy who folds everyone’s towels into animal shapes.

You end up where you started: on neighboring lounge chairs, with a margarita, and talking to this stranger who has recently crossed into “acquaintance” territory. You chat about how “My Heart Will Go On” is actually a good song, and he promises not to tell anyone that you said that. He also says that this is the best Titanic-themed cruise ship wedding he’s ever been to, and he can’t wait until somebody decides to do Jaws.

Eventually, you both stagger back to your rooms with promises of seeing each other at breakfast. Unfortunately, you have the worst hangover of your life the next morning and even the thought of ‘breakfast’ makes you want to roll over and die, so you don’t manage to stumble out of bed until it’s time to disembark.

You see him at port, and you each offer each other a little wave before going your separate ways. Six weeks later, you get a Polaroid of the two of you together, sitting at the bar and laughing at something that must have been very, very hilarious.

You don’t remember most of what happened that night, but you remember it was not as terrible as it could have been.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 2: Extremely Weird Guy On The Street Has You Questioning Your Sanity

It’s 6:00 in the morning—a truly terrible time to be awake, but a necessary evil. Your flight leaves at 10, and since it’s an international thing, you want to make sure you get there in plenty of time to get to your gate (and maybe sample all the fancy perfumes you can’t afford at one of those high-end stores that are always in airports.)

The streets are mostly empty, save for a few random pedestrians and a handful of passed-out salarymen snoozing on the curb. The sky a rainy gray-blue as the sun tries to rise behind the springtime cloud cover—it’s no doubt going to be another dismal day, as is common during this time of year. Hopefully there’s not too much turbulence on your flight…

You stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the little walking man signal to show up on the light across the way. You’re soon joined by another person—a man in a soft-looking jacket who supplies you with a small “good morning” bob of his head. You respond in kind, throwing in a small smile for good measure. It’s nice that he too understands that it’s entirely too early to be having any kind of conversation, even if it is just a simple verbal greeting between strangers on a street corner.

The light changes, and you both begin your trek across the street. Your fellow walker is faster than you—or, more likely, has longer legs and, ergo, a longer stride than your own—and is nearly halfway across by the time you get your wheeled suitcase over the curb. He seems decent enough. You hope he’s going somewhere nice.

It’s then that you make the mistake of looking up. It would have been much better if you had just continued watching the white painted lines on the road and thinking about how it reminds you of piano keys—and how you hated the six months of piano lessons your parents forced you to take in the first grade.

But no. You noticed someone walking towards you, and you just had to look up.

The first thing you notice is a rainbow tie-dye shirt. The second thing you notice is that the rainbow tie-dye shirt is on a very cheerful looking gentleman, who seemed to be bobbing his head in time with a song only he could hear.

The third thing you notice—and this one’s the real kicker—is the large blue-and-green reptile sitting on his shoulder. It’s bulging eyes are hooded in pleasure as it’s red-pink tongue darts out to eat the green something—maybe a grape or a small piece of melon?—from the rainbow tie-dye man’s hand. It is nothing short of a spectacle, honestly, and you feel a piece of your sanity evaporate.

The rainbow tie-dye man continues on, uncaring of your confused stare at his strange pet. You even turn around to make sure that you weren’t somehow hallucinating, and sure enough, there is definitely some kind of creature draped over this stranger’s shoulder. It’s tail even sways in time with the man’s steps, which is both cute and confusing.

Because it would not do to stand in the middle of the street all day, considering the existence of rainbow tie-dye man and his exotic pet, you do the only thing you can do: turn back around and continue on your journey. You need a coffee. Maybe with an extra shot of espresso, after witnessing whatever the hell that was. Something to set you right again.

“Was that…?”

The other man—the soft-coat long-stride one—is speaking low enough as to not draw attention, but loud enough for you to hear as you make your way towards the sidewalk. His expression reads ‘concerned, but trying not to show it’ which you suppose is the polite and mature way of handling the situation.

“…an iguana? Yeah,” you answer him, “I saw it too.”

The man’s brow furrows. His mouth puckers into a small frown as he considers…well, something.

“…Okay, then,” he concludes, shrugging his shoulders, “Hell of a way to start the day.”

“Yeah.”

And you both continue on your way. He turns left at the next intersection, you turn right—but even though your paths may now be different, you will forever share an unbreakable bond over the fantastical sight you’ve witnessed today.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 3: Near Death Experience At Open Mic Night

You are not a poet.

Well, not professionally, anyways. You’ve been known to dabble in the written word, often scribbling little snippets of rhyme in a notebook over your lunch break or tapping a verse or two into the notes app on your phone. It a kind of outlet, you suppose—a way to keep the creative energy that bubbles inside of you from boiling over.

It’s also worth mentioning that you are not a confident public speaker. Not since that unfortunate incident in the third grade where you forgot the single line you had in the school play and ran off stage, tears streaming down your face and—actually, no, you’re not going to think about that right now. Or ever again, hopefully.

So when your (tipsy) coworkers decide that it’s a good idea to push you onto the stage at the local dive bar’s open mic night—while shouting at you to “read the one about the night-blooming jasmine”—you freeze up. There are at least seven strangers staring at you, expectation rising with every passing second of your inaction. It’s nerve-wracking in the way that the third-grade incident was not, and you gulp against the nervousness that rises in your throat.

Shaking hands scroll frantically through your phone, looking for the requested poem—and after a few agonizing moments, you manage to find it. Your voice cracks rather embarrassingly as you begin to read, trying your damndest to get the words out right so you can slink back to the bar and drown the rest of the night in Chardonnay.

Everything is going well—or, at least, as well as can be expected—until you notice that the room is suddenly feeling very hot. That’s the last coherent thought you have before the room goes dark and everything falls silent.

Next thing you know, you’re staring at the ceiling. A man who you do not know is leaning over you, and his mouth is moving—oh, he’s probably trying to say something to you, but it’s very difficult to tell what he’s saying over the throbbing pain in the back of your head.

You ask him if you’re dead. It’s a possibility after all, that you’ve somehow died and landed yourself in some kind of special public-speaking hell. That’s what this feels like, anyways.

The man says no, you are not dead. You say ‘dammit’ in response. He tries to hold back laughter, offering to help you up by extending his hand. You take it and—ouch, ugh, ew, going from laying to standing is not a fun experience.

You thank him (albeit awkwardly) for helping you up, and he insists that ‘it’s cool.’ Passing out in front of an audience is not even remotely cool, but you nod and thank him again, anyways.

Before you’re able to converse with the helpful stranger any further, your coworkers have come to collect you. You are whisked away by someone from accounting, who offers to escort you home—an offer you gladly accept, very excited to leave the site of your failure behind you.

Safe to say, you never go back to that particular bar again.

[nct-byeol]

⭐️byeol’s relationship with nct 127

🌙taeil & byeol

relationship: mentor

byeol has jokingly used informalities with all the older members, except taeil

she has a huge amount of respect for him

“i learn a lot from him, from basic survival skills to how to have an incredible singing voice”

taeil isn’t known for showing a lot of skinship but he always has a protective guard over byeol

like traveling in airports, he keeps her close and away from saesangs

both are avid sushi antis

one time the two were in the dorm alone

and taeil spotted a cockroach in the kitchen

and he knows byeol HATES bugs

so instead of killing it

bc he’s not going anywhere near that thing

he was like “okay let’s go out for lunch instead”

nobody ever found the roach.

taeil’s contact for byeol: “별🌟” (byeol)

byeol’s contact for taeil: “현명한 태일오빠” (wisest taeil oppa)

🐱johnny & byeol

relationship: americans (derogatory)

the absolve silliest of gooses

always quoting american media

it’s a problem

they binge watch basic movies all the time, like mean girls, pitch perfect

byeol was the one to convince johnny to grow out his hair

“you’ll look like the ultimate sexy guy”

“the what?”

there are also a lot of jokes he doesn’t get bc he’s a millennial

byeol quotes vines on the DAILY

“byeol what the fuck is a hurricane tortilla”

johnny said in an interview if he could fix anyone’s style it would be byeol’s

byeol was v offended

“it’s not that ur current style is awful or anything, you just need flavor!”

-_-

they also drink together. like a lot

johnny’s contact for byeol: “byeol⭐️💛”

byeol’s contact for johnny: “johnny오빠🍻”

🌹taeyong & byeol

relationship: newly weds

oh my god

the cutest people ever

both are clinging to each other

byeol does not sleep in her own room. always taeyong’s

taeyong is the best cuddler in all of nct she says

byeol just covers this boys face in kisses

always kisses his scar last

don’t fucking talk to me

oh my god when they’re both drunk?

clingy x127

like every era there’s a new rumor that their actually dating

sm is just bored of shutting it down and it brings them views so whatever

taeyong calls her pet names

like, married couple pet names

GOD THEYRE SICK

byeol once ranked the members hugs

taeyong was first bc “he’s soft and the perfect height”

haechan was last bc he squishes the shit out of her

they might actually be married and lying to us all who knows

taeyong’s contact for byeol: “별자기💕” (byeol sweetheart)

byeol’s contact for taeyong: “yongie오빠💛”

🦑yuta & byeol

relationship: most likely to fake their deaths and leave the country together

they share a closet

what’s yuta’s is byeol’s

and it would go the other way if byeol wasn’t tiny

they are the closest out of their relationships with everyone

natural chemistry

yuta is an active byeol-ta shipper

is he deadass, is he joking we don’t know

nicknamed the perv of the group, he set boundaries with byeol bc he is a respectful young man

byeol doesn’t have too many boundaries she just said stay out of he undergarments

to which yuta laughed and said too late

byeol was like. HUH

yuta had to explain for 5 minutes he was joking

along with winwin, byeol has to give him attention or he gets sad

byeol loves when he teaches her japanese

yuta’s contact for byeol: “スターちゃん⭐️” (star-chan) [idk if it’s actually right i’m sorry if it’s not]

byeol’s contact for yuta: “yuta-kun💛”

🐰doyoung & byeol

relationship: father and daughter

doyoung is the BIGGEST byeol protector

she is his BABY

he does simple little tasks for her like opening doors, tying her shoes, tucks her in when she falls asleep on the couch

byeol likes to pretend like she hates it but she doesn’t

makes her feel like a princess

in return she cooks and bakes for him a lot

even if she sucks at it sometimes

byeol also admires doyoung as a vocalist

she loves to watch him in the recording booth

and the “now i know” meme is her favorite

when it first went viral she sent it on bubble like seven times

crying of laughter

she’s a simple gal

doyoung’s contact for byeol: “별💛”

byeol’s contact for doyoung: “dad?🐰”

🍑jaehyun & byeol

relationship: roomies

their relationship dynamic is a fun one

they don’t have too many on camera moments

but the members could tell u about their shenanigans for HOURS

on the nights where byeol doesn’t sleep in yong’s room she sleep with jaehyun

since she’s moved in she probably hasn’t touched her own bed tbh

byeol says she texts jaehyun the most

the most common member to appear on jaehyun’s instagram

peaches duo v iconic

jaehyun has expressed many times he would love to do a duet with byeol but he doesn’t want her to outshine him

byeol likes to follow him to the gym and attempt his routine and usually collapses 15 minutes in

all the members says jaehyun flirts with byeol the most out of any other member

jaehyun’s contact for byeol: “peaches⭐️🍑”

byeol’s contact for jaehyun: “jay oppa🍑”

🐶jungwoo & byeol

relationship: what the fuck

these two are…

don’t let them near each other

loudest mfs

messiest mfs

they’re just fucking crazy

it’s sm worse when they’re drunk

don’t let them drink

they’re clingy and loud and byeol cries

the absolute silliest of gooses pt 2

nctzens got a lot of byeolwoo content during resonance as they both were in work it

they even sung the bridge together and they were both so happy about it

jungwoo’s contact for byeol: “별⭐️💚”

byeol’s contact for jungwoo: “jungwoo🤪💚”

mark and haechan’s are done in the nct dream version

[benjiwyatt]

do you have any ben/leslie headcanons! i love your posts abt them so much it's great to see someone get as emotional abt them as i am asjdkajhjd

i got this message and i was like "god, i dont really know if i have any headcanons" and then i opened my notes app and started typing and didn't stop for over an hour

i'm literally putting this under a break and organizing it into categories bc it's absurdly long

here it is

A COLLECTION OF BEN AND LESLIE HEADCANONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP/S3

basically canon but leslie definitely had a crush on a young benji wyatt and followed the story religiously for the first couple months before she started college

ben is only slightly jealous leslie had ann go out with chris to try and get more money for the parks budget rather than leslie asking him out with the same goal. he knows it’s insane, unethical, and illogical but he’s still excited that he gets to spend the night with her on a date plus two other people even if it is to accuse her of bribery.

ann realizes early on that leslie was attracted to ben and teases her mercilessly about it. she thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that leslie wants to make out with "mean ben.” after april and andy’s wedding, she realizes it's more than just attraction and she lays off.

before ben can even think rationally about what he’s doing, he’s in line at bed, bath, and beyond with a crock pot in his arms, calling stephanie to ask her to send him their family’s chicken soup recipe

ann knew ben liked her from the beginning and was totally positive when she ran into him in the hospital asking for leslie’s room number while holding jj’s waffles and a tub of homemade soup.

ben realizes he’s falling in love with leslie when he is at city hall with her until 3am one night trying to budget for the amount of cotton candy machines she wants for the harvest festival. in his exhaustion, he naively believes her when she tells him she’ll go home in a bit so he leaves. he never gets a text from saying she made it home so he stops at jj’s the next morning and brings a takeout container of waffles and a coffee complete with an outlandish amount of whipped cream and sugar to the parks department. he finds her asleep in the conference room. he starts trying to convince sweetums to donate more cotton candy machines that afternoon.

chris had to have known ben liked leslie. he’s not an idiot. in the deleted scene from their wedding, they read out emails from their “tumultuous first week in pawnee” and chris writes to ben saying, “why are you so focused on leslie knope?” ben replies saying, “i’m not. whatever. shut up.” there’s no way chris is this oblivious. ben takes her out for a beer. ben pays out of pocket for a children’s performer to help her out. ben shows up on chris and ann’s date just because he thinks leslie might be there. chris can’t be this dumb. but when they take the city manager jobs in pawnee, he knows it can’t happen so he cuts ben off when he starts to ask about dating someone in city hall. he cracks down on the rule in front of leslie after the tom incident to hammer it in. he starts setting ben up on a bunch of dates to try and head it off. he sends them to indianapolis for the little league pitch because, realistically, he knows they’re the best bet for success but makes sure to interrupt their dinner and invites them to his apartment to continue to run interference the rest of the night. after their fights in 4.06-4.08, he hopes he won’t have to worry anymore. the next work day, they come into his office looking nervous and happy and he knows he’s about to lose the partner and best friend that’s been by his side for the past decade.

april and andy knew they were secretly dating. it went unspoken aside from a few implicit teasing remarks from april and a few suggestive attempted high fives from andy but leslie assured ben they wouldn’t tell anyone despite their ostensible behavior.

BREAK UP

ben had commissioned the li’l sebastian plush for leslie after he had died but the toy shop didn’t finish it until after they broke up. he felt bad not going to pick it up so he did despite not being able to give it to her. he kept it for all those months and sometimes thought about getting rid of it but could never bring himself to do it.

when leslie made personalized copies her books for her friends with individualized annotations and notes in the bylines, she had two copies for ben. there was one that she gave him during their breakup that was very simplified and watered down where the note basically just said “i’m really glad you decided to stay in pawnee.” then there was a second copy that she kept while they were split up that was totally covered in notes and random thoughts she couldn’t say during their time apart. she gives him that copy when they get back together and it may or may not be the best gift he’s ever received.

april was much less abrasive with them during the break up because she’s a sweetheart and wants her friends to be happy.

the first time leslie admitted she was in love with him was during a long night of drinking and crying at ann’s house

ben craved the taste of sugar during their breakup because he got used to tasting the sweetness when he kissed her

ben found himself unable to sleep at night without the sound of leslie talking in her sleep to comfort him

april texted leslie the night of the halloween party to let her know that ben and andy were at the hospital after a fight and everything was fine and she didn’t need to worry. leslie was mad at andy for a few days after and he couldn’t figure out why.

the only photo in ben’s bedroom was of himself, leslie, and li’l sebastian at the harvest festival. if he got caught staring at it and crying, he would just say he missed li’l sebastian so much.

april and andy started having star wars and star trek movie nights to try and cheer ben up

DOMESTIC

ben and leslie got in the habit of having weekly game nights with april and andy during the campaign since they were all basically living together. it became a tradition that kept going as often as they could make it happen, even after the kids were born. they try to have game night at least once a month. april pretends to hate it.

one of my absolute favorite ideas about them is that she sleeps much better when he’s around to keep her grounded. after they get together for good, she starts getting closer to 5 hours of sleep a night.

another favorite involving leslie’s sleeping: ben is typically accustomed to tuning out incoherent nonsense that she babbles in her sleep but she also has some of her best ideas when she’s not busy trying to focus on a million different things. when he hears her coming up with legitimately good ideas or making speeches or having solid debate arguments, he takes out the notebook he keeps in his nightstand to record her thoughts and quotes. he revisits and revises the notes to strengthen her statements and make them more professional and less rambling but makes sure to keep her distinct voice apparent in them.

ben prefers pancakes to waffles but he will go to the grave with that secret

this isn’t a headcanon because nbc posted it but one of ben’s holidays on leslie’s calendar is watch synchronization day which is the day they celebrate syncing their watches to, as leslie puts it, “always be in harmony, like our hearts” which is just one of the sweetest fucking things in the world

leslie makes ben read and watch all the harry potters because he didn’t get into them when he first tried. ben is much more of a success than ann. she buys him a ravenclaw scarf for christmas.

their first fight as a couple was a historical debate gone awry

since ben clearly has some affinity for custom stuffed animals, he has some made for the triplets.

they’re both dog people but they adopt a cat because sonia and stephen beg for one and it does fit their busy lifestyle much better. they love the cat. they get a dog when the kids are older and life is slightly less hectic.

they both love striped shirts and sweaters so much that they have to make a conscious effort to avoid wearing them on the same day and matching

leslie makes sweets and bakes desserts while ben typically handles cooking the actual meals

BASED ON EPISODES, QUOTES, AND THROWAWAY LINES

i always loved the ann/ben dynamic in bus tour because there’s been such an obvious shift in ann’s attitude towards him in this episode. maybe it’s because she and tom just broke up and she just turned chris down again and she’s frustrated with relationships but i think it’s her realizing ben isn’t going anywhere. since the campaign is winding down, she realizes that things aren’t gonna go back to the way they were because ben is now part of this and he’s clearly in it for the long haul. ann’s definitely jealous that ben is just as important to leslie as she is and she now knows she’s never gonna get that full attention back. ann sits ben down to have a real “don’t you dare hurt her” speech after this ep and before win, lose, or draw. this is when he tells ann he wants to marry her.

they discover they both adore the princess bride after ben says “as you wish” to her one night and after that it becomes their movie.

the wildflower mural becomes a thing between them when ben says he considered that to be their first date, prompting leslie to tell him what the mural means to her.

ben puts banjo boogie bonanza on one of the mix cds he gives leslie at the beginning of their relationship

harrison ford movie nights start after they both reveal they had a crush on him as a kid. ben was obsessed with han solo and leslie was into indiana jones’ whole history teacher vibe.

they basically hate each other’s taste in music and stop exchanging mix cds once that becomes apparent that they aren’t gonna find much common ground. they both love tom petty, al green, and etta james and music in that vein though.

ben makes leslie watch game of thrones just to try to explain why he’s called her khaleesi. she gets into it, not so much because of the show itself, but because of how passionate her boyfriend is about it.

they start learning basic french during the s4 campaign because they think it will be useful to have a basic multilingual vocabulary for their political careers and because leslie confesses she has always dreamed of seeing paris. they study spanish next.

ben makes leslie watch the star wars prequels just so he can complain to her during them. he doesn’t think she’s paying attention and then he reads about midichlorians in the paper.

ann is also in on ben’s plan to sneak vegetables into leslie’s waffles.

they will sometimes jokingly refer to themselves as the “dream team” or “dynamic duo” because, despite chris’s absurdity, it’s true

i’m open to literally any origin of this because no matter what it’s perfect but i like to think that “i love you and i like you” started at some point in season 4 when, at some point, leslie went “i like you” and ben replied “you like me?” “mhm” “hm just like me?” “yes i like you. i love you and i like you. both.” “mmm i love you and i like you too”

i barely even register some of these things as headcanons since they just live so solidly in my brain

this might be my favorite ask ever thank you for loving benslie enough to ask me this and be genuinely interested

if anyone read all of this, i love you

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #451

“taste the waste of their god’s grace & spit your hate upon your young”

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube? A shitload of people. Do you like to go to the farmer's market? Yeah, sure. What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be? Probably black. What's your favorite melon? I don't really like melons, actually. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :( When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? Literally every day. Seriously. It's funny, I dread fighting to sleep at night, but I also just want it to be time to sleep so time will pass. My life is just so fucking boring that I just... wait for something exciting to happen. Name one person you've never had a fight with: Tez. What are you currently listening to? "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment. What would you rather have: cat or dog? I prefer cats. Who is your least favorite person in real life? Probably my sister's husband. Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really? I'll sometimes watch live let's plays. Does your house have security cameras? No. If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be? I'll be dyeing it. What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened? I'm not sure. What soundtrack do you listen to the most? Silent Hill 2's, definitely. Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult? I don't know if it's really a secret, but I didn't know until this year that my dad did some really dangerous drugs before us kids were born. Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you? Yes. What’s something you like to have many options to choose from? Food, ha ha. Feels great to have a full kitchen after a grocery trip. What’s the strangest decorative object you own? Nothing "strange" to me. What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now? One biggie is having a baby. I just... could not imagine. My life would plummet. What’s been your proudest moment? Graduating in the top percentile in my high school graduating class. What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen? Omfg, Sausage Party. That movie was so gross. Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals? Thankfully, no. I don't even think I could befriend someone who doesn't like animals. Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts? No. Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal? Yeah, like me with whale sharks. Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer? Not really, no. Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills? Amy Lee's. And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand? Yeah, such as Bob Dylan. Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf? Tui T. Sutherland, but only because I read their series Wings of Fire. Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today? I'm sure on Facebook at some point. Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? Does the freezer count? If so, this Healthy Choice grilled chicken pesto bowl I have in there. I am like addicted to them. Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately? I don't know. If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it? It varies month-to-month. Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to? I had my Markiplier tattoo essentially redone by a better artist. I also plan on getting my "ohana" tat covered, as well as my "how rare and beautiful it is to even exist" one (I adore the quote, but it's not an original design, which I don't like having anymore), and I want to move and redesign my "perfectly flawed" one because I want a bigger tattoo in its location. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind? Yeah; I'm pretty sure I like-like my friend Girt now, something I was never entirely sure about. When was the last time you did something on a whim? *shrug* Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Well, I guess both, but Dad didn't do a lot of the teaching part about life and stuff. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’ Yes. Colleen tried that with me and Girt and only succeeded in making us very uncomfortable. She said something I wanted to slap her for that I won't repeat. What is your card game of choice? Magic: The Gathering. What is your favourite books series? I think my favorite series of all time was the Shiloh trilogy. I adored both the books and movies. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions? You'd better give me landmarks, ha ha. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books? Of course. What was your favourite gym class moment? There're such things as GOOD gym memories in school? Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun? Yes. Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks? No, I always thought it was very flattering that they even wanted mine. Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie? The Phantom Virus one. I had the video game as a kid, too. Could never beat the damn thing. Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down? No? I don't like seeing children - or anyone - fall. Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past? So, this really only happened once, and it was coincidentally the day I learned of her pancreatic cancer, but before Mom told me. I had an assignment to interview someone of an older generation about how various sources of media affected their lives, like the development of TV and such, and she really got into it. It was very interesting to learn about. Do you have a crush on someone? I guess I do idfk. If so... what does his/her name begin with? "D." What attracts you to them? More than anything, the fact he's been there for me without fail. Both single and when I was with Jason and he was interested in me, he's just... been there and has made an effort since high school to be in my life in one way or another. Do they know that you like them? Not anymore, no. We dated for a few months, but I broke up with him because he felt more like my brother, so I would assume he doesn't think I do. Maybe he still is family to me. I really don't know what I feel. If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? I might at some point, idk. We just haven't talked in a while. Name two people that you miss: Jason and Megan. Have you ever seen Titanic? When I was in the hospital, yes. Everyone was crying, lmao. Have you ever swam with dolphins? No, but I would. When was the last time you had a stomachache? Now. Mother Nature finally visited me after three whole fucking months and is v angry. What's going to bed early for you? Like 7:00. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Of pets! Human kids ain't for me. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Hell if I know. Favorite Nicholas Cage movie? Ghost Rider. Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have? Yes. I got Moderna. If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects? I did on my second dosage. I was OUT of it the day afterwards, but then I was fine. What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself? I need new bras badly. What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? It's called "Not Just A Pet Rock (Python regius)" and is a group for advanced ball python husbandry. It is very informative, but I will say there is a SHITLOAD of very rude elitists. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? NO because it's a PANCAKE and I want CAKE. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? I personally think so. When Sara visited and we were trying to go to my older sister's so she especially could meet her, Ash entirely ignored Mom's messages. I know her homophobic husband well enough to nearly be able to guarantee he didn't want us coming over because the kids "don't need to see that." Ash kinda does what Nick says, so... you know. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I know I'm happier with pets. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. What’s your favorite way to curl your hair? It's too short to do that. At what age did you start swearing? However old I was in 7th grade. What is something you physically can’t do? Clean up vomit lkdsjal;sdkjfa;lkwd. I can't clean up my pet's or even my own. I literally can't. My mom has to. What do like better, apples or oranges? Apples. I don't like oranges. Around the holidays, do you hope for snow? Yes!!! What are your top two favorite bands? Ozzy Osbourne and Metallica. How many people do you 100% trust? Like two. Maybe. Do you care what others think about you? Way too much. Has anyone ever called you a bitch? My grandmother has. Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger? Omg yes, I was obsessed. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat? No. Not because I don't want to, because I do, but I would have an extreme protein deficit if I did that. Besides meat, I don't like enough protein-rich foods. Have you ever had a rolling backpack? Yes. Did you make any money today? I haven't made any money in a very, very long time. I'm only ever paid when someone hires me to take pictures for them. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? I don't know. Definitely not very high. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes. What was the last souvenir someone got you? I have zero clue. Do you have a favorite remix of a song? Hm. Perhaps this techno-y remix of "Psychosocial" by Slipknot. I don't know for sure, though. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either the violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)? Probably clouded leopards aesthetics, but I think lions overall. If you had $500,000, what would you do with it? Pay off school debt as well as help Mom with various financial issues, buy new glasses, buy Mom and I a new house and car, get Venus a great tank with all the optimal supplies, get LOADS of tattoos, donate to various charities, adopt a few specific pets, travel to Yellowstone, get laser hair removal on my legs and teeth whitening... There are a lot of possibilities. Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid? Just scaly ones. :') "First loves are never really over." Is this true for you? Yeeeep... Did you like Michael Jackson before he died? I didn't really have an opinion on him. I know/like a couple songs, sure. What are some things that would make you break up with someone? If they became abusive, started doing drugs, acted arrogantly, didn't understand my mental conditions and were unwilling to be emotionally supportive, stuff like that. What was the worst breakup you've ever had? Ha, the one with Jason. For. Fucking. Sure.

[puckmeupfam]

Locked Down | Tyson Jost

Word Count: 1969 Note: This is my first time writing non-headcanon-y fanfic, but Tyson is my... exactly my type so here goes nothing

It was probably a mistake to bring your boyfriend back to your hometown for the holidays. You knew this. It wasn’t that you were worried that your parents wouldn’t like him. No, Tyson puts his hand on the small of your back and leans in to check on you randomly throughout the day which makes your mom give you a knowing look. And his mom raised him to go in the kitchen, put on an apron, and ask to be put to work - even if he was hopeless. Tyson was any parent’s dream boyfriend. The problem was that your family, and specifically your female relatives, had the tendency to be a bit overbearing… especially when it came to your love life.

“(Y/N), can you come help me in the kitchen for a minute,” your mother called. Your hand was in Tyson’s and your legs were intertwined so he also rose to follow you. “Not you Tyson, dear, you just relax,” she said. You looked back at Tyson to see him shrug and go back to watching the cheesy Netflix movie. Your fuzzy sock covered feet shuffled to the kitchen where your mom was waiting. “What do you need,” you asked as you entered to which your mom replied with a belabored sigh. “I don’t actually need anything,” she gave you a duh look which made you feel more like you were back in middle school than a grown adult talking with your mother. “I just wanted to talk to you about that boyfriend of yours,” your mom said with a smirk. Now you were the one sighing. You move to slouch against the counter as your mom keeps talking.

“I think we were all just wondering when you were going to lock that down.”

“Mother,” you gasped. This made that damn smirk on her face grow. You and Tyson had been dating for less than a year, you had met his family during the playoffs and then again when you visited him in the off-season and the holidays had been his turn. All you had wanted was a peaceful trip. You had even thought it might be the best holiday season yet because you would have Tyson with you, but of course, your family had to meddle. He was the first boyfriend you had ever officially brought home. And ever since you were in high school there were always relative and family friends asking if you had a boyfriend yet or if you would be willing to go out with Janet’s “very successful” grandson. 

“Mom, we aren’t there yet,” you started, “we’re young and we haven’t been together long and Tyson has hockey.” Your mom rolled her eyes and batted her hand as if none of that mattered. “(Y/N), he’s a wonderful boy and all I’m saying is that your grandma is getting older and you know she would want to go to your wedding…” she told you. “Are you really trying to guilt me into getting married? This is a new low” you huffed. Your mom was sadly not one to stop pressing. “My veil is upstairs and, I mean, you really don’t want to wait too long.” You determinedly spun around to march out of the kitchen. As you reentered the living room you paused for a second as you saw Tyson curled up with a blanket on the sofa, seemingly enamored with the silly holiday movie. You moved to stand in front of him and reached both of your hands out for his. “Do you want to go somewhere,” you asked. Even though the movie seemed to be at its climax with the main character going through some kind of post-breakup montage, Tyson dutifully stood up and went with you as you pulled him to the door to get your coats, keys, and shoes. 

The sun went down so early in the winter so while it wasn’t that late it was dark out… and cold. Not quite raining or snowing, but there were wet flurries here and there as you walked down the path towards the car. Tyson hopped in the passenger’s seat because you knew the roads having grown up here. Both of you were quiet as you began to drive. There wasn’t a clear destination in your head. You headed towards the downtown part of the city where there was more to do, just hoping that something would jump out at you. That something that you had been waiting for jumped out at Tyson instead.

“Hey, hey, hey, (Y/N),” he blurted out excitedly. As you looked at what he was frantically pointing at you saw the outdoor ice rink. You looked back at him questioningly. “Tyson, you skate every day,” you said. “Yeah, but not with you,” he replied drawing out the last word. At that, you exaggeratingly raised your eyebrow thinking of the Avs family skate the two of you had gone to just over a week ago. He returned your look with puppy dog eyes that had you pulling into the first available parking spot. 

While you were waiting in line for your skates, Tyson hip-checked you and then pulled you back by your clasped hand. You thought he probably sensed that something was off. If your quietness wasn’t enough of an indicator, the fact that you rushed out of the kitchen and then promptly dragged him out of the house definitely was. He moved to wrap an arm around your waist and then kissed the top of your hair. Tyson had the wonderful quality of always being snuggly warm without overheating you so you pressed yourself against him in an attempt to warm up. 

Once you finally had your rented skates in hand, he insisted on tying them for you. Afterwards, he reached out a hand to pull you up. While you hadn’t been raised a skater in any sense, Tyson had worked hard to teach you on a few different occasions which meant that at this point you could solidly skate around without falling. As your skating ability increases so did his ability to tease you while skating. When you first started he couldn’t even move from your death grip without you panicking, but now that you could keep yourself steady he could pull you faster or be otherwise obnoxious to make you laugh. In this case, it meant Tyson trying to spin you under his arm like you were ballroom dancing. This meant that you would inevitably stumble into his chest, both of you in fits of giggles. 

That was one of your favorite parts of dating Tyson. He had an uncanny ability to cheer you up. If you had a bad day at work he would put on a production of singing ‘00s pop songs until tears were streaming down your face from laughing so hard. When he was in Edmonton and you were still in Colorado, he sent you a framed picture of himself with a note that said, “just because I know you miss me sooooooooooooo much.” Now here he was spinning you around an outdoor rink in your hometown, being perfect one again. 

As the night grew on, the other skaters began to clear out which left just you, Tyson, and a group of three teenagers still on the ice. The two of you were skating more calmly while you chatted quietly about random things - some prank he had played on JT, a story Grandpa Jost had told about his band practice, a project you were doing at work. Eventually, he pulled you to the side of the rink so that you faced each other. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened,” he asked with a knowing look on his face. You tried to play dumb and put on your best I have no idea what you’re talking about face. Tyson sighed, “do you really think I’ll believe that you just happened to storm out of the kitchen and drag me out for no reason?” He clearly had you cornered but in a last ditch effort you tried to steer the conversation away one more time: “I thought you were having fun! You’re the one who wanted to go skating.” Tyson crossed his arms and gave you a look which told you he wasn’t going to let you avoid the question.

“Okay, fine. My mom was just pressuring me… about you. And I needed a break,” you told him. As you looked back up to make eye contact you could see Tyson’s face drop. “Oh,” he said, “I thought they liked me.” Your heart broke at how sad he looked. It was clear that he really was trying hard to impress them and valued their opinion of him. Even though you would rather not tell him just how much your family liked him, you knew that you had to. It might make things a bit awkward - not because he would get scared off, but because you knew that he would likely tease you incessantly - but it would at least take the kicked puppy look off of your boyfriend’s face.

You sighed, “no Tyson, they fucking loved you, that’s the problem.” The sad look on his face diminished slightly, curiosity taking its place. “My mom may have been asking me when I was going to lock that down,” you told him, making air quotes around the final words. At this, Tyson broke out into a wide smile, “I see.” He spun away a bit and broke out into Gracie Hart’s, “you think I’m gorgeous, you wanna daaaate me, love me, and marry me!” You put your hands to your red face and began skating towards him as he waggled his eyebrows and did a little dance. “Tyson it’s not funny,” you whined. At this point you had reached the other side of the rink as he wrapped his arms around your waist and once again pressed you against the rail. 

“Seriously though, (Y/N), like, I see a future with you… You’re my favorite person and when I do get “locked down” I want you to do it.” He was clearly trying to make it a bit of a joke in case you didn’t respond the same way, but it still took you aback. In all honesty, you loved Tyson and couldn’t see yourself with anyone else. “Well, yeah, I’m hopelessly in love with you, Tys. But that doesn’t mean that I want my mom shoving her veil in my hands,” you were mumbling into his chest, but he heard you. “Yeah, I still have to buy a ring… hire a flashmob, all that stuff,” he teased. You jokingly pushed him away which made him laugh loudly while pulling you back into him. 

With both of you feeling content and the night air getting colder and colder you went back to your parent’s house for the night. You entered the front door, instantly feeling the warmth from the fireplace. The adults who were staying over were in similar positions to how you left them. They seemed to be playing some sort of card game around the coffee table. You waved to everyone as you pulled Tyson with you towards the stairs. Right before you would be out of their view, Tyson stopped and turned around.

“(Y/M/N), I’ll give you a heads up of when to pull out the veil, okay?” he shouted down. You looked to see a massive grin take over your mom’s face. “Tyson!” you chastized before running up the stairs to follow his giggling form to your room. Embarrassment and meddling mothers aside, you felt light and happy knowing that you and Tyson were in it for the long haul. The two of you had countless more giggly, teasing nights ahead of you and you couldn’t wait.

[kayliemusing]

30

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

[cinemavariety]

Cinema Variety’s Top Favorite Films of 2019

To quote Principal Duvall from the 2004 teen comedy classic Mean Girls: “I just wanted to say that you’re all winners, and that I couldn’t be happier the year is ending” 2019 was both a super difficult year personally, but even more so, I feel as if it was one of the weakest years for cinema in recent memory. Thankfully the last few months of the year have made up for it with a surplus of absolutely incredible cinematic experiences, many of which are reflected in this year’s rankings. I present to you my favorite films of 2019. Check out my rankings from previous years by checking out the links below:

Top Picks of 2018 List Top Picks of 2017 List Top Picks of 2016 List Top Picks of 2015 List Top Picks of 2014 List Top Picks of 2013 List

Honorable Mentions: Midsommar Uncut Gems Parasite 3 From Hell The Death and Life of John F. Donavan **THIS LIST IS IN ORDER AND CONTAINS SOME MILD SPOILERS**

#16 - Ready or Not Directed by Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

Ready or Not looked entertaining enough from the trailers, but it certainly wasn’t anything I was dying to go see. Especially in a movie theatre. However my brother convinced me to go with him and it ended up being one of the most consistently fun and entertaining theatrical experiences of 2019.

There were a lot of similar plot elements to the brilliant 2013 horror film - You’re Next (which by the way is one of my favorites). The plot is about a young girl, who grew up an orphan, marrying into an insanely wealthy family. The family has a tradition of playing a game on the wedding night, and she ends up choosing a game of hide and seek. Unbeknownst to the bride, the family is actually planning to hunt her down and murder her in order to perform some type of satanic ritual.     

Horror comedies only work for me about half the time, but his film has enough graphic violence and intense situations to counterbalance all of the humor throughout. They complemented each other well and the result was a super funny and super bloody cat and mouse hunt of social classes.

#15 - Doctor Sleep Directed by Mike Flanagan

Helming the sequel to The Shining is no easy undertaking whatsoever. Kubrick’s arthouse horror masterpiece will forever remain not only one of my favorite of his films, but also as one of my favorite genre pieces in general. I was immediately relieved when I discovered that Mike Flanagan signed on to direct the adaptation of Stephen King’s sequel - Doctor Sleep.

I already knew beforehand that Doctor Sleep was more of a fantasy story than a direct horror, and also wasn’t one of the most popular of King’s works. The film ended up being a pretty epic fantasy thriller. Flanagan excels in creating his own universe while also honoring the source material, as well as paying homage to Kubrick’s film. However, it shines more when it does its own thing instead of trying to be nostalgia porn.

Most of the film worked for me, some of it didn’t. The recasting of Jack Torrance’s character left a slightly sour taste in my mouth. Ewan McGregor does a great job as the recovering Danny but it is really Rebecca Ferguson who steals the show with her villain character Rose the Hat.

Doctor Sleep proves that Flanagan has become one of the most consistent horror directors working in the industry. There’s always a pulse to be discovered in the foundations of his storytelling.

#14 - High Life Directed by Claire Denis

Claire Denis, one of the most polarizing French auteurs, debuted her first English language film in 2019 with High Life. I had the pleasure of seeing the film on a big screen, and even though I felt a little underwhelmed as an initial reaction to the finale, the film seemed to linger in my subconscious like a haunting unresolved dream. It held up even better on a re-watch, which you can view for free if you have Amazon Prime.

It’s definitely unlike any space film that I have ever seen. The premise surrounds a group of prisoners on death row who are sent to the farthest depths of space on a doomed voyage. All of the occupants are corralled by Juliette Binoche’s character, who plays some type of mad space scientist, is obsessed with collecting their semen in order to create new life in the abyss of the cosmos.

High Life is a slow burn, often minimalist film, which relies more heavily on atmosphere/score/visuals than it does on dialogue or forced plot elements. It’s bewilderingly nihilistic in how it depicts human behavior gone horribly awry. Robert Pattinson gives an understated performance and seems to provide the only glimmer of what seems to be hope by the end of the film.

#13 - Too Old to Die Young Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Too Old To Die Young finds the celebrated auteur, Nicolas Winding Refn, sharing his view of humanity and society at its most despicable. Hate seems to seep out of the cracks of every neon-soaked frame in the limited series. Amazon gave Refn free reigns in creating his phantasmagoria.

All of his usual motifs and creative decisions are employed in full force with Too Old To Die Young, sometimes to an almost unbearable degree unless you are a truth Refn aficionado. His long takes, infinitesimal silences between lines, neon lighting, synth score and characters belonging to a criminal underworld are all utilized to great affect within the series.

I won’t lie, I found it to be some of Refn’s most challenging work to date. There are so many aspects to be found within this series that went over my head, it is art that demands a re-watch. And while I believe that Refn’s sensibilities are best conveyed through a film medium, the limited series allows Refn to explore what he wants to convey like an artist adding layer upon layer of colors onto a blank palette.

#12 - Age Out Directed by A.J. Edwards

A.J. Edwards returned in 2019 with his sophomore directorial effort - Age Out (originally titled Friday’s Child). Edwards has served as one of many creatives who worked on the editing team of Terrence Malick’s films in the last decade. Malick’s influence on the director is quite noticeable. Edwards directed his first film in 2014, The Better Angels, which was a decent debut. Whereas The Better Angels oftentimes felt too close of a mimicry of Malick’s style, Age Out utilizes certain aspects of the style while also allowing Edwards to have his own authorial voice.

The film centers around a young man named Richie as he is about to “age out” of the foster care facility in which he was raised - a frightening reality for countless youth in America and around the world. Richie is left to navigate the difficulties of the adult world at a mere eighteen years old, without any family or parental figures to help him along the way. He makes friends with a seedy townie who revels in delinquency and causing ruckus. Also, there is a romantic subplot between Richie and a girl named Joan, portrayed tenderly by Imogen Poots. This relationship seems to be the only saving grace in Richie’s life. However, a turn of events soon reveal that Richie’s traumatic past has gotten the better of him and threatens to doom his entire future.

Edwards shoots the film in a boxed style with a 1.33 : 1 aspect ratio. This aids with the sense of claustrophobia and paranoia that invades Richie’s life. As aforementioned, many of Malick’s motifs are used here: a floating steadicam guiding the audience along, hushed dialogue, montages with classical music, and even some voice overs. However, this aesthetic isn’t heavy handed in any way. In fact, it’s a joy to see directors whose work can almost go into the Malick canon as the auteur has had such an influence on a lot of young, upcoming directors. Age Out is both a coming of age story and a cry of warning for unhealed trauma.

#11 - An Elephant Sitting Still Directed by Hu Bo

An Elephant Sitting Still now holds the spot as the longest running film that I have ever seen. It sits in at just under four hours, and it completely delivers without ever feeling like it drags on unnecessarily. The film technically premiered in 2018 and is considered a 2018 film among critic circles. However, the epic didn’t get a widespread distribution in the U.S. until this year, so I am overlooking this discrepancy. The film was marked with somewhat of a controversy after the director Hu Bo took his own life right after post production was completed. Hu Bo is an author turned director and An Elephant Sitting Still marks his first foray into cinema. It’s one of the best directorial debuts I have ever seen.

The film centers around four different characters during the span of a single day. All of these characters are marked with some sort of tragedy, and many of their stories intertwine in a synchronistic fashion. It reminded me of other masterpieces such an Inarittu’s Amores Perros or Paul Thomas Anderson’s Magnolia. The film takes place in the industrial regions of Northern China, and the barren landscapes reflect an inner emptiness that emanates from all the characters.

There is a hollowness to these people as they navigate through life. An Elephant Sitting Still is nothing short of nihilistic. It’s an angry, desperate and hauntingly beautiful cry of pain from a director who was most certainly haunted by his own inner demons. It manages to be both an odyssey of human cruelty and a swan song from a young man who didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

#10 - Joker Directed by Todd Phillips

“It’s getting crazier out there, isn’t it?” These are some of the first lines to be uttered in Todd Philip’s pitch-black satire on society. These lines are what best exemplify the themes that Philip’s was pushing: our society is profoundly sick, everything seems to be getting worse, we have no saviors in sight and hope isn’t always on the horizon. Just from these first utterances, it is clear that Philips is taking all of the political and socioeconomic turmoil of the last four years and has created a problem child that is Joker.

Joaquin Phoenix turns in one of his most disturbed and flawless performances yet - which is no surprise. However, I have yet to see him embody a character so genuinely as he did in The Master. But this isn’t Paul Thomas Anderson, this is Todd Phillips. And the fact that the comedy director even created this piece of art is something that still has me scratching my head. Subtlety is never at play in the film, and there are quite a few plot points that are a little too on-the-nose, even for me. However, all of the other elements redeem it and make this one of the best films of the year. The cinematography is pleasing for the eyes, and the menacing cello scores echoes an existential loneliness that I felt permeate my very being.

The last thirty minutes are exactly what I was hoping from this film. It’s a breath of fresh air to see Hollywood actually stick to creating a nihilistic film that doesn’t once try to water itself down.

#9 - Luce Directed by Julius Onah

Director Julius Onah decided to really step up his game with his latest film Luce. After the dumpster fire that was The Cloverfield Paradox (seriously, thanks for completely ruining what was becoming a dope anthology franchise), Onah has proven that he can be a master of his craft with the proper source material. In regards to the story being told, every element of the film works to its advantage: editing, performances, direction, and most importantly - the screenplay. It’s one of most well written screenplays I have come across in 2019. I immediately could tell from the dialogue that this movie must have been adapted from a stage play, and sure enough upon searching, I found out it was. Not all stage adaptations work, in fact I’d say more than half don’t end up being too effective, but this one stuck its landing and then more.

The story revolves around an overly concerned teacher who contacts Luce’s parents after he writes a paper that comes off as threatening. The paper in question seemed to hold a sentiment in which violence was called for in order to overcome colonialism. It’s important to note that Luce was a child soldier in his native country before being adopted by his parents - played by Naomi Watts and Tim Roth who both gave stunning performances. The rest of the story is an investigation into who their son actually is, which eventually results in moral debates regarding race and identity.

Luce is also a film that effectively helps the audience empathize with the main character, while at the same time questioning whether his intentions are genuine, or a coy to hide something much darker. The truth isn’t always black and white, and this was my biggest takeaway from the movie.

#8 - Monos Directed by Alejandro Landes

Monos felt like a hybrid of elements inspired from great works such as Lord of the Flies, Aguirre: The Wrath of God and Apocalypse Now. This is only the third film to be directed by Alejandro Landes, however it looks and feels as if it was created by a seasoned veteran of the industry.

A group of children guerilla soldiers hold base on a mountaintop where they keep a hostage, watch over a prized cow, and act as a defensive force against an unbeknownst group of enemies. There is little to no exposition in the film. Landes drops the audience off right in the middle of the chaos.

We aren’t exactly sure what these children are risking their lives to fight for, or why they are doing it, but it goes to show the conditions in which they were raised for them to find normalcy in the violent lifestyle of a guerilla soldier. The landscapes are absolutely gorgeous, and there are even a few scenes where I questioned how they accomplished such shots/stunts with a low budget.

#7 - The Beach Bum Directed by Harmony Korine

The Beach Bum might not be the best film that Harmony Korine has directed (it’s certainly no Spring Breakers), but it is easily the most fun. It’s been almost seven long years since Korine’s last project, and I had been waiting in eager anticipation to see what he would do next. He was originally going to do a gangster crime drama called The Trap, which is what I was really hoping from Korine, but that fell through and he ended up making one of the best stoner comedies I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

The Beach Bum is probably Korine’s most accessible and audience-friendly film he’s ever done. I say that lightly though, because it still remains just as highly divisive as his other work. The plot is loose. It follows the misadventures and antics of Moondog, a washed up poet and complete burnout. He is soon sent to rehab for all of his illegal activities, in which he breaks out with the help of Zac Efron’s character, who might have just been my favorite character of the film. Korine seems to have a consistently solid knack to create dirty, seedy and absolutely enthralling characters.

I am really happy that he decided to keep a very similar visual aesthetic to his previous masterpiece, Spring Breakers. Benoit Debie, who is the king of neon lighting and discombobulating camerawork, does a masterful job at creating the textured and visual world of The Beach Bum. Hell, it’s probably one of the main reasons why I decided to see it twice on the big screen.

I’m not the biggest fan of comedies, mostly because I have a very bizarre sense of humor and find most of them to be completely hollow. But Korine’s darkly nihilistic sense of humor suits my sensibilities perfectly and I found myself laughing out loud at various points throughout The Beach Bum. It’s a fun, and even slightly endearing film at certain points thanks to the presence of Isla Fisher’s character as the wife. I look forward to whatever Korine decides to do next. At this point, who knows where he will decide to go with his career. I just hope I don’t have to wait another five plus years to see more of his work.

#6 - A Hidden Life Directed by Terrence Malick

Malick isn’t “back” - he never left. A Hidden Life isn’t a “return to form”. His form has always been there, it’s been evolving since The Tree of Life. In fact, the structure and flow of this film is extremely reminiscent of his past three films.

How far are you willing to walk the path of righteousness, even when the path is marred with pain and unanswered sufferings? How long are you able to cling to your faith when it feels like all hope is lost? How do you fight for what is good, when everyone around you is telling you to submit to forces of absolute evil? These are some of just many questions explored in Terrence Malick’s newest tour de force. As with many of Malick’s recent work, these aren’t questions that are necessarily outright answered during the film. They are instead questions of morality meant to be repeated throughout the story, almost like a mantra or an ode to pure faith.

A Hidden Life is Malick’s first return to chronological and narrative-driven filmmaking since The New World. It has garnered praise almost universally among critics, and is regarded as his best film in ten years since The Tree of Life. While I am in the few who don’t exactly agree that this is Malick’s best film in a decade, I might even dare say that it is among my least favorites of Malick’s recent output, I am still not denying the sublime mastery instilled in every single shot of this film.

A Hidden Life tells the noble true story of Franz Jagerstatter, an Austrian conscientious objector, who refuses to fight for the Nazis in World War II due to his religious beliefs and is eventually executed for it. He is decades later deemed a martyr by the Church - all the more telling as to why Malick decided to tackle this story. The heart of this story is told through letters that Franz and his wife Fani exchange throughout his period spent as a political prisoner. Fani seems to be one of the only people in Franz’s life who sticks by his side. No matter how soul crushing Franz’s decision is for Fani, she understands him well enough to know that death is a better option than spoiling your soul and humanity. “Better to suffer injustices than to do it,” as one character painfully states in the film. And while I wasn’t as emotionally wrecked as I thought I would be by this film, I instead feel inspired by Franz’s commitment to his innate goodness. The back and forth perspectives of Franz and Fani are well executed -  we as an audience get reprieves from the dreary confines of a prison cell to the majestic grandeur of the Austrian mountainside. The mountains and surrounding nature are characters within themselves. Near the finale, as Franz is face to face with his mortality, his mind wanders back to riding his motorcycle through the village on a sunny day as the mountains loom in the background. These are the final desires of a doomed man, something as simple as having the freedom to go outside and feel the grass beneath his feet - to experience the wonders of nature that most people don’t think twice about.

As mentioned earlier, it is far from my favorite of Malick’s oeuvre, and is not without its slight misgivings. It was stated that this was Malick’s return to “narratively focused” filmmaking. But he still utilized his signature elliptical style, and for me these moods oftentimes clashed and kept me at a distance emotionally. I rarely say this with a Malick film, but more of a reliance on dialogue would have worked wonders for me. There are quite a few sequences in which Malick opted for montage instead of a more fleshed out scene, which I believe would have further added to the power of the story.

These are all slight issues, and I myself might be a harsher critic than most simply because I hold Malick to such a high standard. Once you can give yourself to the film, A Hidden Life becomes a true zen experience. It managed to instill a sense of serene presence within myself. I felt very grateful for the most basic and common details of my life and this world. Malick’s work can be such a sensorial rush, and making even mundane objects and rooms look absolutely gorgeous, that it’s as if “everything is shining” in my own life after seeing the film. I look forward to returning to The Church of Malick very soon.

#5 - Ad Astra Directed by James Gray

Ad Astra got a lot of unwarranted hate this year in my opinion. It truly is a shame because I believe that James Gray has struck gold once again. While I don’t adore it to the same degree as I did Gray’s previous feature, The Lost City of Z, Ad Astra succeeds in being one of the most understated space films made in the 21st century.

It’s not exactly a wholly original story, or a plot that is something that we haven’t seen before. It’s the way Gray goes about telling this story and exploring these themes that makes it so very special. It’s not forcing any overreaching philosophical or ethical message onto the viewer, it’s not overly complicated or overly long, and rather than trying to present completely senseless physical explanations to the audience, it just accepts the fiction aspect as “science fiction”.

Hoyte Van Hoytema is a brilliant Director of Photography and he crafts some of the most breathtaking space shots in recent memory. He really captures the breathtaking enormity of the cosmis abyss. The scenes that take place near Nepture during the finale are jaw dropping. We see two characters wrestling each other while suspended midair and the camera pulls out to reveal their absolutely terrifying ordeal while splashes of Neptune’s purple color emanates behind them. What I enjoyed most about the film is this sort of serene, zen atmosphere that Gray creates through the visuals, the score and Brad Pitt’s heartfelt but quietly somber voiceover.

Pitt portrays a lonely, broken and existentially conflicted astronaut. He finds the quiet infinitude of space to be a reprieve from the chaos of conflict happening down on Earth. He feels more at home among the stars than he does on the planet in which he was born. His perspective reminds me of the blue God from Watchmen, Doctor Manhattan, when he’s dwelling peacefully on Mars and laments his feelings toward Earth and all the people on it: “I am tired of Earth. These People. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives.”

James Gray’s Ad Astra, much like his previous two films before this, detail the pains and tribulations of undaunted pioneers as they explore foreign territories. The final monologue of Pitt’s washed over me like a gentle breeze: “I will rely on those closest to me, and I will share their burders, as they share mine. I will live and love.”

#4 - Anima Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson

Interprative dance, experimental film, and visual albums are three of my absolutely favorite art forms. The real MVP of modern cinema, Paul Thomas Anderson, has collaborated with one of the real MVP’s of modern music, Thom Yorke, to create a fifteen minute long music video on the power of human connection.

Thom Yorke plays a sleepy commuter, a passive bystander, a human sheep, a functioning cog in some great machinery. He makes brief eye contact with a pretty woman on the train, and notices that she leaves behind a briefcase. The rest of the short details his efforts as he dodges through obstacle after obstacle trying to find the woman and return the briefcase to her. I couldn’t believe my eyes as Anderson concocts the innermost desires of being seen, understood, and loved. The results are strokes of flashing light projections on concrete walls, bodies undulating as they separate and conjoin simultaneously, giddy humans running through fog, and lovers meeting in the union of hearts.

The final section, Dawn Chorus, is one of the most gentle and blissful experiences I have ever witnessed, let alone one in a film distributed by Netflix. Paul Thomas Anderson and Thom Yorke’s project had me understanding why I fell in love with this medium in the first place.

#3 - 1917 Directed by Sam Mendes

1917 takes the spot as my favorite war film of the decade. Personally, I found it to be one of the best war films ever made in general. What director Sam Mendes and DOP Roger Deakins have created is nothing short of a miracle. It’s the first “single take” war film to ever be made, mainly because this is a feat that is far from easy to pull off. Mendes and Deakins shot the movie in extreme long takes, and spliced them all together to make the whole movie come off as a seamless single take. These tracking shots never leave the side of the characters, we are in their footsteps on the journey the entire time.

1917 has a pretty simple premise: two young British soldiers are given a near impossible mission to cross enemy territory and deliver a message that will stop a deadly attack on over 1,500 soldiers - one of them being the brother of one of the two soldiers sent on the mission. The familial aspect contributes added emotional gravitas to the plot overall.

1917 is more of an experiential war film than it is a action or battle focused war film. It’s best to be seen in an IMAX because the sound design and the invasive tracking shots make you feel as if you are walking along these two soldiers as they face grave perils on their quest to deliver the message. I very much so enjoyed that they kept the plot small and intimate, without resorting to constant firepower to keep the audience engaged. That isn’t too say that the movie doesn’t have more than enough of its fair share of nail biting action sequences, and also plenty of gruesome shots depicting the carnage that World War I brought. These soldiers have to army crawl over rotting corpses, while rats and crows are seen pecking and chewing through the remains. The filmmaker doesn’t turn a blind eye to the horrors that war produced. To me, this is one of many reasons why I believe 1917 is superior to other popular recent war films such as Dunkirk. I don’t want my war films to be sanitized. War needs to be portrayed as it truly is - acts of complete inhumanity.

Dare I say that 1917 is Come and See for the 21st century. While Come and See is most definitely the superior film, there were echoes of the classic Soviet Union masterpiece that ring throughout 1917. Maybe it’s the expertly crafted tracking shots, maybe it’s the maddening use of sound design/editing, or maybe it’s the shell shocked expression that is engraved on one of the main characters faces near the finale.

1917 does an amazing job of being very loud, but also utilizing silence in certain scenes to great affect. The juxtaposition is most expertly crafted during one scene that involved flares popping off in the sky, lighting up the ruins of a city, as one the characters runs away from enemy fire. It’s an absolutely exhilarating scene. I ended up bawling by the end of the movie, mostly just because of all the pent up anxiety and distress I felt throughout. You don’t see many films that take place during World War I anymore. But 1917 shows it is not a time period to be forgotten about.

#2 - The Lighthouse Directed by Robert Eggers

I had been eagerly anticipating Robert Eggers’s follow-up film after he released The VVitch back in 2016. At first it was reported that he was going to be doing an adaptation of Nosferatu, which I still think would be a great story for Egger’s to adapt, especially after witnessing what he instead decided to make - The Lighthouse.

Shot gorgeously in black & white on gritty 16mm celluloid, the film looks like it comes from a completely different era (the dialogue as well). There were many shots that had a similar look to some of Bergman’s early work on the Faroe islands.

The Lighthouse has a fairly simple plot. Robert Pattinson plays Winslow who goes to work for a seasoned lighthouse keeper named Thomas who is played by Willem Dafoe. Winslow is new to being a wickie and Thomas takes him under his wing to show him the ropes. Thomas orders him about incessantly in a brute and abusive manner.

There is a minimalism to the plot, however all of the other elements are done so perfectly that the daily grueling routines of these wickies becomes nothing short of hypnotizing. The sound design and score ratchets up the harsh conditions of the island. Wind sounds like its constantly shrieking outside - a reminder of the unease that seems to be building to an overflow. The dialogue, diction, and accents are all completely authentic to the time period and setting that the story is taking place in. Eggers commitment is second to none when it come to detail and authenticity with aspects such as the character’s accents and inflections. A real case of cabin fever befalls the two men who both seem to become obsessed with the mystical light that emanates at the top of the light house.

While I really enjoyed The VVItch, I absolutely adored The Lighthouse and find it to be a much stronger work from Eggers. I think what I vibed with most about it is that the movie doesn’t feel the need to be confined to one particular genre. Whereas The VVitch was literally about a witch bringing misery to a Puritan family, it was constricted to be somewhat of a horror film. However, The Lighthouse manages to be many different tones: a fever dream surrealist film, an arthouse horror, a slapstick comedy, and a nautical retelling of many ancient sea myths. And all of these different tones worked together and bounced off each other in perfect harmony.

I found myself both laughing and completely repulsed by the images I was seeing - especially within the last act of the film which succeeded in shaking me up and making me feel both bewildered and slightly nauseated. It ends up being a gritty, dirty, and uncompromising journey into total psychosis. By the conclusion of the film, the audience comes to the same realization as the two characters - there really was enchantment in the light after all.

#1 - Waves Directed by Trey Edward Shults

Waves is an operatic cry for people to be better to one another. It is by far my favorite film of the year, and I truly believe it to be one of the finest films ever made. It earned itself a well deserved spot in my Top 25 Favorite Films of the Decade.

Trey Edward Shults started out his cinematic career on a strong note with Krisha. He delivered once again with his sophomore debut - It Comes at Night (even if I do find it to be easily the weakest of out the three he has directed). But for me, Waves is where Shults really experiments with his style to such a fine tuned degree that we find the director not calming down his vision or becoming more “grounded”, instead he expands upon his prowess with one of the most powerful family dramas I’ve ever seen.

Shults is another director who made my list this year who is somewhat of a protege of Terrence Malick. Shults worked as an intern for Malick on both The Tree of Life and Voyage of Time. It is quite clear the influence that Malick has on Shult’s vision. But Shults, even more-so than Edwards who also made my list this year, has taken Malick’s inspiration and created something wholly his own.

Shults has created an experiential rollercoaster of actions, consequences and the toxic fallout than can come from such actions. Waves is essentially two films in one. The first half is the energetic, chaotic and traumatic first half in its depiction of toxic masculinity taken too far, to the eventual accident that changes all of the characters lives. The camera is constantly floating in this portion, or shall I even say flying through the air and around the characters. The camera has no limits in what it can do and that along with the editing, and most noticeably the insanely perfect soundtrack/score, this portion ends up feeling like one prolonged anxiety attack.

The second half of the film switches character POVs masterfully. There’s a psychedelic shift of perspective from the brother’s eyes covered in flashing lights from the back of a police car to his little sister’s eyes in the back of their parent’s car (you have to have seen the film to completely understand what I am referring to of course). This second half of the film is where the camera slows down a little. This portion is more character focused and less interested in being flashy through its aesthetic. We get more dialogue, more character details, and a lot more tears in this half. It’s like a long cathartic release after experiencing an hour of trauma and abuse. It succeeds in tearing you apart, to only slowly piece you back together.

As mentioned previously, Shults’s soundtrack decisions were the cherry on top for me. Tame Impala, Animal Collective & Tyler the Creator are three of my favorite artists and their music is utilized perfectly within the story. What made this film so special to me, other than the fact it all takes place in the state in which I grew up in, was that no other film has better reminded me of my own humanity in years. This film makes me want to be a better brother, a better friend, a better son, and a better person in general. You never know when a single moment can shatter your entire world. In the end, it left me with a strong message that struck me to my core: appreciate what you have in life, and tread carefully.

[my-heart-is-but-a-gentle-moon]

42 tried and true love letter prompts:

1. Type out your earliest memories of each other.

2. Go back and re-send some of your earliest emails and texts or transcribe early notes and letters.

3. Word association. This one was our favorite. Open a book- the nearest one to you will work. Flip it open at random, close your eyes and point to a word on the page. Write down the word and a random memory or thought you have with or about your spouse associated with that word.**** (example at the bottom of this post) Pick another one if it’s a lame word like “and, but, the, it, in, etc”

4. If you had to make a marital bucket list what would be on it?

5. Provide a detailed description of how your spouse has made you a better person.

6. Write about a song that reminds you of your spouse when you hear it. Type out the lyrics.

7. Write about all the things you miss about having your spouse with you. Or if you’re together- what you have missed the most when you have been apart.

8: Describe various dream dates – a dream romantic date, fun date, expensive date, etc. (Rich did one where he described a dream laugh-so-hard-we-cry date with a few of our favorite comedians. We played board games with Amy Poehler and Kristin Wiig, went for some mini golf with Melissa McCarthy and Demitri Martin, dinner date with Mike Birbiglia and Tina Fey- we had ourselves a fantastic time with our imaginary best friends).

9.Write out your love story- blog post style (then consider emailing it to me so I can post it).

10. Ok, you know that part in Sleepless in Seattle when Tom Hanks is describing his dead wife to the radio host and he laughs and describes the way she used to peel an orange in all one piece? If you were describing your spouse to a radio host (they can be alive in this scenario) like that, what would be that weird, quirky thing about them you’d describe?

11. Write out a quote from a book that reminds you of your spouse (Rich and I conveniently both read A Fault In Our Stars during this trip, so this was easy 😉

12. Explain why you love your spouse now and why you loved them at the beginning of your relationship. Any differences? Similarities?

13. Describe little moments in the day when you missed them/thought of them/were grateful for them that day.

14. Play two truths and a lie.

15. List a few times in your life you wish you would have had your spouse with you.

16. Describe what you’ll be doing (ideally) in two years, five years, ten years, twenty years.

17. Talk about your favorite scripture or inspirational quote that makes you think of your spouse.

18. Pitch a movie about your love story complete with tag line and description. Rich pitched “An Engagement With China” “Boot. Scooter. Boogie.” And “Snow Way!”

19. Write an acrostic poem for your names.

20. You have a time machine. Which points in your spouse’s life would you go back and visit- just as an observer? I was flattered reading some of the random moments of my early life I’ve described to Rich that he actually remembered 🙂

21. Talk about a favorite trip you took together.

22. Write about times or things in your relationship/marriage that were disappointing or awful and then how you got over them or learned from them. I actually found this one to be very strengthening.

23. Plan out real future date nights.

24. Reminisce about the first time you said, “I love you.”

25. Write about how your spouse has changed you since you’ve met them. Be specific.

26. Talk about traits you think you’ve inherited from your parents and what traits your spouse has inherited from theirs. Their answers may surprise you 😉

27. Write poems to each other. (note: Rich could have been a poet. Seriously. And I never knew until love letters . . .)

28. Record all first impressions of each other you can remember.

29. Top 10 lists (Rich did top 10 reasons Celeste is awesome at Valentine’s day). Other Top 10 lists could include: Top 10 favorite memories together, Top 10 moments I loved you most, Top 10 events I’m looking forward to spending with you this year.

30. Post and talk about your favorite pictures of each other.

31. Google newly wed questions and answer them for both you and your spouse. Have your spouse do the same. Compare answers.

32. Write out your favorite things about your kids. Or, if you don’t have kids, what characteristics of your spouse you’d hope your hypothetical children would have.

33. Write about the funniest memory you have together. Or that might be too hard to pick just one, so write about some times when you deep-belly laughed together.

34. Tell your spouse something you honestly don’t think they know about you.

35. Since you’ve been married, has your spouse challenged any preconceptions you had about life?

36. If you had to commit a crime together, what would it be? Aliases encouraged.

37. What about your spouse do you feel you know the least about? What about yourself do you think your spouse knows the least about?

38. If you could go back and give yourself advice about marriage when you were dating, what would you say? What have you learned?

39. Transform your story into a Disney-esque fairy tale. Start with once upon a time . . .

40. What are the physical aspects of your spouse you find most attractive?

41. What do you think they’re greatest strengths and talents are?

42. Share a childhood memory you’ve never shared with them before.

[lightskinrry]

I can’t remember why I loved you, anyway.

The one where Harry and Y/N broke up two years ago and have to spend a vacation together in the Hamptons except they’re not over each other yet, and they both have new S/O’s

Word Count: 3.4k

TW: angst??? fluff??? honestly I really don’t know

A/N: this was a concept i thought about for days and then i sent it to @emotionally-imbruised and she said ‘write it’ and i did???????? (thank you lovely!!)

and thanks to @belladonna-styles for reading it over! You’re the sweetest, Sierra!!! (i love you)

It has been two years. Two whole years since the two of you decided that it was better to go separate ways. When you thought about it, the truth was that it has been two years since the person you loved most in this whole goddamn world turned into the person you hate the most.

The breakup has been hard. It was like running a mile to never make it. A long run of three years of love, passion, tenderness, dreams and future plans turned to ashes. It all collapsed one night. Actually, it took more time. It started in the run of your second year together, when he would be so busy that the only nights you’d spend with him he’d keep talking about work. When you would feel lonely in his presence and won’t even laugh at his stupid jokes. When he started being suspicious of you coming in late knowing there were nights he wouldn’t come home at all.

The third year of your shared love has just been the same stupid fight over and over again. You missed the simpler times… The times when you would do all the crazy things young people in love do. Giving each other a tattoo – he might have started hating you when he discovered your initials on his left butt cheek on a hungover morning. Singing, naked in the rain in the garden – all the love you’ve made and the terrible cold you’d got after. Crashing stranger’s wedding – the first time was an accident, it was when you met him; that night at your friend’s wedding in Hawaii. He was wearing a white suit – who wears white at a wedding? He did. And he was beautiful in it. That night you two became friends; strangely you had a lot in common; from your favorite bands to which Friends character you hated most – Ross, of course.

That night you two got so drunk that you danced on the kids’ table to the Pina Colada song.

And since then, it was your favorite song. Every time you’d hear it, the two of you would start dancing like that night in Hawaii. And he even mentioned once that it would be the song you two first dance at your wedding.

It was on the last night of November that you packed your bags. You spent the entire month sleeping alone. And he wasn’t even on tour. You couldn’t tell if you trusted him anymore and the gut feeling that he was seeing someone else was torturing you.

Every time he would touch you, it would burn your skin because your brain would only picture his fingertips on somebody else’s skin. He came home that night as if he felt that you would leave. And the storm that ravaged your shared home in that cold night of November was one worthy of those Sunday afternoons’ TV drama.

You told him how you felt –your gut feeling, your frustration, your sadness, how you missed him, how you couldn’t pretend anymore. And his stupid self and his incapability to respond and communicate his feelings just let you go. And that’s when you started hating him.

Probably to cover the hurt of feeling like he just never cared. That, you leaving was not important enough that he would try and better himself and overcome his insecurities. He just let you go. And your stupid brain came up with the answer that he didn’t care because he had someone else this whole time. Maybe he did. But it was better if you never knew.

Two years passed. Your life was back on track quickly. You started dating again, finding joy and doing fun things you used to do with him with other friends. The only thing that reminded you of your time together was that you shared common best friends. Your circle survived the split but it would continuously be hard for them not to see you together.

The resentment you both held for each other made you be mean and cruel to each other and on a common agreement you decided that you would avoid each other. If your shared friends were going for a movie and he was there, you wouldn’t go. But the next outing you’d be there and he would ditch. It worked well for you both. You wouldn’t see each other, hear each other or know about each other and everything would be good.

Your friends always said that it was stupid and that you two needed to grow up because it wasn’t nice being in between the both of you. But you knew it was just better. His face reminded you his –supposed– betrayal and being in the same room as him made you just nauseous.

You’ve been lucky enough that the last time your friends gathered together for a paintball party, he’s the one who went, because next weekend your little crew and yourself would be spending four days in the Hamptons in Jeff’s house.

You definitely needed that trip. You’ve been working like crazy those last weeks and spending some time with your friends was exactly what you needed. And it would be a great time to introduce them to your new girlfriend. She was indeed very new; you’ve only been dating for a month.

You have spent the last year going on unofficial dates with whoever you could find in the damn city just to meet her one night at an art exhibition in Brooklyn. She painted something abstract reminding you strangely of a vulva.

When you invited her for a coffee, you talked for hours, mostly about feminism and LGBTQ+ rights because the both of you were activists. She felt comfortable enough to tell you about her transition and how her gender identity always influenced her art. And you quoted the just stoked her hand tenderly to answer the worry in her eyes when she told you she was transgender. She sighed in relief and raised her hand in the air to call the waiter to bring more drinks!

You started seeing each other frequently enough and called your little encounters ‘dates’, and you knew it was the right time to introduce her to your friends.  

***

You arrived late at the house, you were pretty much always late, and it was a personality trait at this point. You left your bags in the foyer and closed the door behind you. You could hear laughing and chats coming from the living room. You looked at Danny, your lovely girlfriend who for once seemed insecure and anxious.

“Hey…” You pressed your hands on her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. They’re cool. I’m sure they’ll like you.”

She took a deep breath and you stroke her cheek with your fingers.

“C’mon, give me a smile, love.” She gave you a tiny smile and kissed your finger. You took off your coat and hers and placed it on the hanger. You grabbed her hand and walked in the living room.

“Your favorite bitch is here!” Your voice resonated in the room. And when you laid eyes on the table where your friends were sitting, you missed a heartbeat.

Harry was sitting there, his fingers intertwined with the beautiful woman sitting next to him. He was laughing out loud but when your voice reached his ears, his smile disappeared. His hair was so short and you remember that when you left him, it was longer than yours. Now it was short and you could see his jawline clench as he looked at you.

“Y/N!” Jeff got up and came towards you. The look on your face clearly read discontent. “Always late, our favorite bitch, huh?”

You looked at him and sighed. “What is he doing here?”

You couldn’t help but be mad and seeing Harry here just threw you off, you even forgot to introduce Danny.

“What is she doing here?” Harry got up and in a moment of coordinated rage, you both gave the darkest look to your friends.

Glenne stood up and laughed nervously. “Surprise!”

“Are you kidding me right now?” You looked over at her and your hissing tone made her scratch her head. Sarah got up.

“We thought it would be a good idea to spend a real vacation all together. We have been torn apart since you two…”

“That’s a prank, right?” You cut Sarah off.

“Look guys. Stop acting like fucking children. We’re not gonna babysit you. You’re both over it, aren’t you?”

Mitch’s words made you realize Danny’s presence and you looked over at her and the confusion on her face made you feel stupid.

“Look, it’s a bad idea….” Harry started talking. You grabbed Danny’s hand again and cut him off.

“It’s a great idea actually. We’re both over it, aren’t we, Harry?” You addressed him with a sneaky smile.

“Anyway. There’s someone I’d like to introduce y’all to.” You raised yours and Danny’s intertwined hands.

Your friends gave you a weird look for a second, certainly because you didn’t mention you were bringing a plus one; you wanted it to be a surprise. And apparently this vacation was going to be, for the least… Surprising.

Jeff, Glenne, Sarah, Mitch, Adam and Emi all smiled kindly to you and your new friend.

“This is Danny. Danny this is the gang.”

You laughed and Danny shook everyone’s hand. Harry’s expression was… Well you couldn’t quite figure it out.

He shook her hand with a smile and welcomed her warmly. He introduced himself and Danny told him she was a big fan, something she didn’t mention to you before, probably because you never brought Harry up in the conversation anyway. He gave you a tease look when your girlfriend mentioned she liked him. It was a bit ironic, wasn’t it?

He introduced the woman he was with. Rosie. Boring name you thought to yourself.

“Pleased to meet you, I’m Y/N. If you want my piece of advice; run away now.” You gave Harry a teasing smile before sitting down at the table.

The weekend was going to be long…

***

The first two days were atrocious. You and Harry fought over everything; from where to eat to whether or not the Brexit was going to happen.

Funnily enough you always had similar political views, but you just needed to get your frustration with him on something and his naïve thought over happy ending Brexit pissed you off.

“No, I want to believe it won’t happen. That we are going to be smarter you know. It has been postponed so many times, it might be cancelled as well.”

He always was too optimistic over the most fucked up things.

“It’s going to happen. Get that in your mind. It’s in the process and they refused the second referendum.” Your tone was so dry; it probably stripped him away.

Whether it was political discourse or the most mundane things, he would be a pest about it.

For instance, when he made pancakes for brunch on the third day –god knows his pancakes were always delicious.

You woke up late, per usual and came down to the kitchen to see all your friends sat at the huge wooden table.

“Oh, smells nice!” You looked over the table and saw a huge pile of pancakes.

“Harry made them! His pancakes are delicious!”

Rosie’s voice would irritate you more than Harry’s sometimes. After all, her high pitch and long blonde hair and her soft manners and ugh…

Of course his pancakes were delicious, you would know better than her. You’ve eaten those pancakes every morning for three goddamn years.

You didn’t say a word and grabbed a plate, and right before you took some pancakes, you heard his voice. “You could thank me. I mean you come down late and find brunch ready, so you could at least thank me.”

“God, are you gonna curse them pancakes if I don’t thank you for doing something I never asked you to do?” You sighed as you put down your plate.

He opened his mouth to talk but you cut him off.

“You know what? I won’t risk food poisoning. I’m getting cereal.” You made your way to the shelf and grabbed a bowl. You could tell everybody was uncomfortable and you heard Harry mumbling, “Still a drama queen.”

“A drama queen? Say the guy who threw a tantrum because we decided to eat Italian instead of Chinese?”

Last night you’ve fought over where to eat, his take was Chinese food, yours was Italian food and your argument won over the assembly. Harry acted all fussed and reluctantly came to the restaurant not to speak a word to anybody except Rosie the whole evening.

“Are you kidding me? You were the one who decided to argue!” He got up from his chair. “You’re a pain in the ass, Y/N!”

“Says who? Mister I can’t fucking admit I was wrong? Mister I must have the final say in everything? The guy who can’t form a coherent argument in a discourse? Please! The only pain here is your lack of conversation!”

You looked over at Rosie. “I can tell you’re bored honey, feel free to leave him, he’s really not worth it.”

Harry’s face became all red and he furrowed his eyebrows; as he was about to spat words, Jeff cut him in his track.

“I’m done with your bullshit! You have been the most obnoxious people for the past three days!”

Everybody agreed loudly with Jeff. They were just fed up with the two of you constantly fighting.

Sarah got up and left the kitchen. You felt guilty for making your friends so uncomfortable and annoyed. You hissed at Harry and he rolled his eyes at you.

Sarah came back down. She took two chairs from underneath the table and placed them in the middle of the room, only a few inches from each other and facing each other.

She pointed at you. “Sit.” She pointed to the first chair. She held one hand behind her back. She ordered Harry to sit in front of you. He reluctantly sat on the chair. You didn’t look at him.

“Your hands.” Sarah’s voice was very directive despite her natural tenderness.

“What?” You asked; your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Give me your hand. No questions.”

You gave her your hand and Harry reached out his too. You both were very confused. It’s only when she pulled out the handcuffs from behind her back that you realized what was happening.

“Oh hell no!” You tried to argue but your hand was already cuffed with Harry’s.

“Please. This is not funny, Sarah…” Harry’s voice sounded so desperate, it got a giggle out of you.

“This is not supposed to be funny. This is supposed to be a punishment. I’m done with you two being little pests to each other.”

Mitch sat down, and ate his cut fruit like popcorn, a smile on the corner of his lips. “Well done, baby.” Sarah smiled at him.

“What do you expect us to do?” You looked over at everyone and everybody seemed to be very much okay with the situation. You deserved it.

Glenne spoke up, “You’re going to be nice to each other, and let us have our last day of vacation in peace.”

Adam chortled and sat down next to Mitch, he cleared his throat before talking, “Say something nice to each other.”

“What for?” You snapped and Sarah gave you a dark look.

“Say something nice, Y/N, now.”

Strangely her tone made you want to do as she says…

Dom vibe.You thought to yourself and you gave her a promiscuous look.

“Fine, I’ll say something nice.” You sighed loudly and then took a look at Harry who shared a handcuff with you, slightly reminding you of a similar situation the two of you played in the past.

You thought for a second and came up with something basic. “Your haircut is nice.”

Harry raised his eyebrow at you. “Thanks? You look good today.”

Jeff hissed, “Are you guys serious? Dig deeper.”

“What do you want me to say?” Harry threw his head back in disbelief.

“I can’t even remember why I loved you, anyway.” Your voice was low, it seemed that nobody heard you but you caught Harry’s sight and an odd gloomy look on his face.

“Say something you like about her!” Jeff tilted his head over to me to pressure Harry.

“Fine…” He sighed and crumpled his eyebrows in concentration, trying to come up with something that would be good enough to set us free.

“I like your smile. It’s contagious. It never failed to make me smile.” He looked at you for a second and you felt your heart sank, when was the last time you made him smile?

“Your turn Y/N.”

You thought for a moment and when your eyes met Harry’s, you felt out of breath.

“Your eyes have always been one of my favorite things about you. They’re deep and kind. They’re comforting. And I always felt safe and beautiful in them.”

You realized you shared too much when a smile appeared on Harry’s face. You rolled your eyes at him and sighed.

“Good. Good. Harry?” Jeff played the referee here.

“You have…” He breathed for a moment. “Really pretty lips. They’re soft and… I love the shade of red you wear.”

He couldn’t look at you in the eyes and neither could you. You knew it was a difficult exercise for him, he’s never been really good with spoken words; he was always better at writing them.

The crowd in the room looked at you to let you know it was your turn. Sarah added softly “Less shallow, maybe?” You mocked a laugh at her and turned your head to Harry.

“You’ve always been a great listener. You don’t talk much but you know how to listen, you’re attentive and it’s something I’ve always liked about you.”

Harry let out a giggle. “Thanks.” He took a long gaze at your face.

“You’re very passionate. I mean… When you’re into something, you give your all. That’s why I always loved listening to you because you talk with passion and knowledge. You’re the smartest person I know.”

You fought a smile. He was always good at complimenting, wasn’t he?

“You’re one of the most talented people I know. It’s amazing how much work and love you put in your music. It always baffles me that you’re so lyrically smart. For someone who isn’t too keen on communication, your lyrics always talked to me in a way nobody did.”

He grinned widely but before he could thank you, you added a word.

“Oh, and you have the voice of an angel. When you sing and when you talk. It’s soothing. It sounds familiar… Like home.”

He didn’t say a word for a moment, staring at you with a fond smile.

“Your laugh always made me happy. It’s like a serotonin shot. My favorite thing was…”

He thought for a second, wondering if he should keep going.

“It was when we would kiss and you’d laugh nervously, pulling away because you always thought you were a terrible kisser… I mean you are…”

He laughed before continuing,

“You’re not…”

He looked at you.

“I loved kissing you and feeling you laugh against my lips. It was always my favorite thing.”

You felt your heart beat a million times faster. The more you looked at him, the more you remembered why you were so in love with him.

“I loved it too.” You whispered so that only him could hear you.

You felt his fingertips stroke the back of your hand, and you shivered at his touch, realizing how much you missed it, how much you missed him…

“Okay. Game’s over.” Rosie fake laughed a little bit, getting up and asked Sarah to open the handcuffs.

Sarah understood the discomfort Rosie was facing so she set you free. You got up and kept your eyes focus on the ground. You couldn’t even look at Danny.

Harry breathed loudly. The room was silent; the most uncomfortable silence, actually.

You cleared your throat before speaking up, “How about we spend the day at the lake?”

Adam cheered loudly to release the tension, “Yes!! That’s a great idea!”

Emi supported the idea too and when everybody agreed, you all left the kitchen.

Your eyes met Harry’s for a second and you felt your heart sank again.

You remembered exactly why you loved him. Maybe why you still loved him.