#the queer friend btw

[cthulhum]

is heterophobia real

[tremendously-crazy]

Friends to lovers --> boo, basic, everyone's seen it before

Lovers to best friends with an even stronger bond because they both realized they were aromantic -> new, way cooler, yay, i would pay all i have (2 pennies and a button) to see it

[sadcoms]

until i recently read posts on here about how there is an inherent queerness to the doctor and rose's relationship in how it's unspoken and filled with yearning that i'd never really considered that element, despite knowing for ages that RTD is gay but. man. it's just reframed a lot of the series for me, like the idea that you have this lonely man who's just watched his people die and is self-destructive and misanthropic and traumatised and he can love again and he wants to but it has so many risks.

but especially S3 and how it adds even more weight to the doctor's grieving widower status. how he tells martha that he and rose were together but martha refers to rose as a friend to tallulah; the fact that he can only say they were together once she is gone; how the only other person that both can feel how he feels but also understands the depth of his feelings is jack, a queer man himself. and I've been thinking to myself lately oh, it's ok, the doctor and rose probably accidentally got married on at least one planet or something but also the point is that there was no official title that could convey to people the extent that they meant to each other, that the doctor can really only tell donna that rose was his friend even though it is so wholly inadequate and she comes to see that by the end of the episode (and martha too of course). how people who saw the doctor and rose together assumed they were a couple, like on krop tor, but once there's no more physical evidence of the relationship it becomes more vague (and simultaneously clearer).

anyway something about how christopher eccleston said he based his portrayal of nine on RTD and something about RTD saying that his husband is "in every good man i write now" and how the doctor and ruby seeing each other in the club mimics his first meeting with his husband aka the one moment he would use a time machine to go back to hmmm

[pickled-flowers]

Ok so a while back I had a conversation with my friend's aunt. She's a trans woman well into her 50, who has kids and grandkids, and she came out when she was in her 40's. Me and my friends were talking about our queer space, and mentioned the well known "token cishet man"

Now, I'm sure most of us have that guy in our friend group, and it was common for us to just call him the straight guy. But my friend's aunt offered a different perspective ; she once was that token cishet man in a queer group of friends. Getting categorized so strongly as "the cis straight guy" made it harder for her to come out and accept herself. Since that talk with her, I've been careful about it, and guess what? Two women I've once called "the straightest person I know" (different occasions, and it was high school) now have girlfriends! You literally cannot know if someone is queer, and honestly most people are not the straight cisest person out there.

Anyways I'm not very articulate and English is not my friend but like I think everyone would benefit from being a little more careful about the way we treat our "token straight guy", she might be thankful later!

[sieglinde-freud]

let it be known that i love prince inigo with my whole soul. however sometimes it is SO much fun to think about owain and his two most loyal-est knights you ever seen: worst guy in the world #1 and worst guy in the world #2. i love retainer inigo and severa so much. retainers who bully you and make fun of you and trash on you but they’d leave behind everyone and everything they ever knew to follow you and protect you in a whole new universe. they love you so much that they’d swear allegiance to total strangers but that loyalty pales in comparison to what they’d do for you. and they were all lovers!!!!!!!

[applebees4prez]

goddd the trope of “we could always rely on each other and you were the person i trusted most in the world but then you chose someone else over me and our relationship has never been the same” always hits me so hard, but ESPECIALLY when there are queer undertones to relationship one but then heteronormativity wins out. like god it’s such a sucker punch. so many queer people have experienced that really close same sex relationship where you thought you were going to be with that person together, even if you didn’t even realize it was romantic at the time, but then they became interested in the opposite sex and everything changed.

[mealbits]

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[h0ndayota]

I don't usually fancast but I just watched Just Friends (2018) and Josha Stradowski's whole look was setting off Ronan Lynch sirens in my head:

You see my vision here right?

[thelaurenshippen]

re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭

WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!

for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:

political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts

the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT

Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie

Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit

speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)

Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.

imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up

Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...

Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.

fin.

[aholotte]

Comparing Twitter and tumblr queer culture is so amusing

Twitter queer culture: reminder that if you’re an mspec lesbian every character from honkai star rail hates you (?)

Tumblr queer culture: does anyone know if we have butch faggot joy tomorrow

[anxietycheesecake]

Urgh as someone on both ace and aro spectrum seeing my identity being used to justifying the no-homoing off a canonically gay and bi characters is so shitty. It's not fucking acearo rep. I left wwdits fandom post S5 as the show lost the spark for me eps being hit and miss and how the show treated Nadja. And I'm honestly I'm glad I left seeing people be so rude to you for calling what it is queerbaiting has been so disappointing. Is criticism of shows we like not allowed anymore? And yes it can still being baiting even with queer characters this shouldn't be hard to comprehend. Guess it's both queerbaiting and ship baiting. Also this is last season even if they pull korrasami and get together at the last EP it's not good rep?? It's fun and silly show but shouldn't be on pedestal of queer rep when it isn't and we shouldn't have to settle for scraps.

I can't wait to see how they're going to twist this ask into you being aphobic lmao. It means a lot to hear I'm not crazy, btw. Luckily, all people blocking me are folks I've never interacted with and my most respected followed blogs have agreed with me, so I can't be that mad.

Also, gotta laugh at the aphobic accusations, because I deadass take part in anti-aphobia orgs and initiatives irl all the time, I've fought tooth and nail to have aroace people where I live validated and most of all respected (since corrective rape is a common experience, sadly), the main character of my novel is an asexual actress who struggles with the over-sexualization of her persona and it's been praised by the community, but some folks on the no grass-touching allowed website don't like my opinion on how two CANONICALLY ALLO CHARACTERS' relationship was handled, so I guess I hate aroace people now lol

[hr-nm-grnd-zr]

I don't want a romantic relationship.

I want what Donna and the Doctor have.

[auuwmk]

gang did you think my middle school teacher knew that the book that he assigned us for finals was tragic unrequited yuri

[transgenderprototype]

Ill go onto someone's profile and their pinned post will have like "DNI IF YOU SUPPORT [insert artist] ILL BLOCK YOUR ASS IF YOU REBLOG THEIR ART anyway u can dm me if you want more info on why i have a vitriolic hatred for this person, i pwomise it wont be biased and full of bullshit :3"

Ill be like "okay thats fucking stupid, im not dm'ing them for what'll clearly be a biased response. I should probably look more into it.

I find out why.

"Oh these are lies. These are lies being spread because someone leaked a queer person's nsfw alt and found something they could twist into being "morally wrong" and theyre still continuing as the artist clarifies that what they drew isnt [whatever theyre trying to twist it into]."

[guidingthulite]

what a polite young man! i sure hope he wasn't saying some untranslatable cursed pun that made his best friend react like that!