#the prom was such a beautiful moment in the show

[nugge-is-my-duckie]

I'm pretty sure that whenever I work on a piece of art, it's about 80% more likely to actually be completed if it's of Bangel. The power those two have over me...

[rxmxa]

1st, 2nd, 6th, + 8th house synastry notes 🖤

Ive been binge watching bones and its so interesting how booth and brennan embody 1h, 2nd, 6h, and 8h synastry. If youve never watched the show you can still get insight I just wanted to describe this synastry through their behaviors.

1st house synastry:

Brennan and Booth give off major 1h synastry, its especially obvious with how they met. They are immediately attracted to each other and brennan asks booth if they are no longer working together then does that mean that they can have sex LMAOOO. I def see this as mars in the 1st house synastry. I think Brennan is the mars person and Booth is the house person because she is attracted (mars) a lot to his physique (1h) and constantly comments on how his facial structure and masculinity is appealing to her. And he def gives off the house person in this dynamic because he's always trying to impress her, whether hes dressing to impress on in the way he presents himself with his demeanor like defending her, shielding her and making jokes to make her laugh. With 1h synastry it is natural to a certain extent, like the planet person or house person isnt "acting" but their actions def become applied based on the planet (with mars it would be aggression, drive, ambition from both people being amplifed). But with other planets like venus for example, it would be more about aethetic, beauty, interests, being the focus. You know what else gives this synastry away? How someone commented that they're acting "like two teenagers at prom. " at their big grown age lol. This synastry will def have you rolling your eyes, smirking, playfully pushing each other, in each others personal space AT ALL TIMES. like damn ur talking to me about the weather rn two inches away from my MOUTHHHH... lets just kiss.

2nd house synastry:

they literally cannot stop fucking touching each other omg. This synastry reminds me of a steady hand just reaching out and making sure you dont fall. its that urge to show and say I'm here, I won't let you down, and if you fall I will catch you. Its the comforting hugs between them, reaching out to help each other get back up. This reminds in the moments Brennan is feeling sad or anxious and he reaches out and grabs her hand or gently grabs her chin to get her to look at him. Their dynamic reminds me of sun in the 2nd house synastry. When someone’s Sun is in your 2nd house, being around them can make you feel safe and steady. Their touch feels warm, confident, and reassuring. They show affection in a reliable, down-to-earth way, making you feel secure and valued through physical closeness. In this case I think Booth is the sun person and Brennan is the house person. In one episode she said "I find it interesting that im only afraid of snakes when booth is around to jump on" LMAOO. like babygirl sees booth and instantly knows she is physically and emotionally safe. Who he is (sun) grounds her. Beyond the physical, they also transformed each others values. They are seen as total opposites and throughout the show Brennan talks about how Booth has taught her the value of eye contact and using your heart to make your decisions and to not rely always on logic and then booth talks about how he has taught her the opposite. they balance each other. ONE LAST THING about 2h synastry I want to mention is the gift giving. Usually posts might be about giving each other luxury gifts which can be true but its also about the details. they give each other gifts that are meaningful and not always through material but with their words or favors or just unique things that can have u be like wow no one else has done this for me before (like when booth shows up with a christmas tree when brennan couldnt have one set up when she spent her christmas with her dad and brother for the first time as an adult).

6th house synastry:

This one is a little more obvious. They met through work (as an FBI agent, Booth needed Brennan’s expertise with bones and anthropology to catch a killer), and then they actually became partners. I def see theirs as pluto in the 6h synastry because booth (pluto person) completely transforms brennans daily routine (6h) and he acts a catalyst (pluto) for the way she decides how she truly wants her life to look day to day (6h). Their relationship is primarily all about their routine, service, and work (6h) together to solve murders (pluto). They thrive and come alive with their routines, and their partnership becomes top priority. If you have 6th house synastry, that doesn’t mean the person is going to be your coworker, but it does mean you'll be deeply involved in each other's daily lives and routines. Brennan and Booth would cook for each other, motivate each other to improve their skills—whether that’s becoming stronger, smarter, or simply aiming higher in their respective careers. Their bond is built on support in everyday life, from the little things like making meals for each other to the big things like pushing each other to grow and succeed in their work.In their case, work was the foundation of their relationship, but over time, their routines became more personal, blending their professional lives with emotional connection. This is what 6h synastry is all about!! building something meaningful with someone through shared routines and relying on each other. As someone with a virgo venus I find 6h synastry lovely. From my other post with 6h synastry "very underrated synastry considering the physical attraction, never getting bored of each other, consistent acts of service, learning each others love language, “you got me flowers?” energy, “do you want to run errands with me” energy, can easily become a power couple, knowing the little cute and mundane things about each other, “oh they don’t like that flavor” energy"

8th house synastry:

They have 8h synastry for many reasons. The first I think of is how she became a multi-millionaire from her books loosely based on their relationship (the characters kathy + agent andy). Her finances (8h) completely are altered by their relationship! When you have 8h synastry with someone they can def influence your wallet. Another very obvious one is the trauma they share and go through (literally saving each other lives all the time after crazy ass shit happening to them). Because of these traumatic events, they become connected in a way that goes beyond normal interactions (real 8h shit). They share a level of trust and passion that is unique to them.This doesnt mean when you have 8h synastry your life doesnt mean you're going to be dodging bullets or facing death everyday but it does mean u might notice a deeper intensity, as if the stakes in the relationship feel higher. ok ANOTHERRR, is the underlying sexual intensity, like the constant eye contact, the protectiveness of each other, the jealousy they try to hide or supress when they are both seeing other people and MOST IMPORTANTLY THESE MFSS always come back to each other!! I can def see venus in the 8h synastry with them its the "youll never find another woman like me" energy. When booth is with hannah (he gets into a serious relationship with her try to forget about brennan) and he has to repeat over and over and over about how much he is in love with her almost like hes trying to convince himself and everyone else. And he does love her but its not like brennan... not even close. He doesnt even have to say he loves brennan. Its obvious in the way he will fight for her, is willing to suffer to just be with her as friends/coworkers knowing he desires more, how they tell each other about their childhood traumas, how they heal each others inner child, how they face their fears together. And ultimately also they do end up getting married and having children and combining their resources & assets (all 8h topics).

[strwbwrrybunny]

strawberry shortcake. toji z.

cw 𐙚 oral, fingering, ass eating, unprotected sex, creaming, praise, cream-pie, masterbation. ummmm i think that’s all? oh yeah, you’re toji’s highschool sweetheart who hates his boxing career . . . minors shoo!

every night, you waited anxiously for him to come home.the door would creak open and there he would be, bruised and battered from another fight.your heart always ached at the sight, but you knew this was his dream, his passion. you hated seeing your boyfriend hurt, yet you endured it for his sake.

you’d lost count of how many times you had to patch him up, clean his wounds , and hold him while he winched in pain. it was like a ritual now , one you wished you didn’t have to go through. but everytime he looked at you with those eyes, full of determination and love, you know you can’t possibly ask him to stop. this is who he is, and you love him for that.

so , you endure.for him, for the two of you. you just wished he knew how much it hurt you.

as he stepped inside the cozy cinnamon scented home , you greeted him with a tender smile, masking your concern. from where you sat on the plush sofa you could see his bottom lip was busted, his nose caked in blood and there was a gash that showed the pink meat under his pale skin. you wanted to cry, but held it down.

“another tough match?” you asked softly. he nodded, exhaustion evident in his eyes. your hand grasped his and led him to the kitchen, where you had already laid out the first aid kit. you’d patched him up so many times before, it became second nature.

gently, you cleaned his wounds, your touch soft and caring. he would wince occasionally , but never complain. “i wish you didn’t have to get hurt.” you whispered, voice betraying you as it cracked subtly.

you mustered a small smile, eyes glancing over at the picture of the two of you at prom. highschool toji and you, you could remember those days like yesterday. you were just teenagers , full of hopes full of dreams. he was your highschool sweetheart , the boy who made your head race with just a smile.

every morning toji and you would walk to school together, hand in hand, talking about nothing and everything. he was your confidant , your best friend.you two spent hours studying together, laughing at stupid inside jokes, and sharing your deepest secrets. you could still feel the warmth of his embrace when he held you close during those chilly football games.

even now, years later you can’t but smile at the memories.you’d both changed and grown over the years , but those moments you two shared before this will always hold a special place in your heart.

“baby, you okay?” toji questions, legs spread on the chair as he pulls you between them. you give him a weak smile nodding, but he can see right through your facade.

he hated seeing you like this. every time he came home battered and bruised, the look in your eyes cut deeper than any punch he’d ever taken. you doesn't deserve this, having to play nurse and patch him up after every fight. he can tell it hurts you, even though you never say it.

you’re always so gentle, so patient, cleaning his wounds and making sure he’s okay. he wishes he could make it easier for you, but this is who he is. fighting is his passion, his dream. but seeing the toll it takes on you makes him question everything.

he just hopes you know how much he appreciates you , how much he loves you for standing by him despite it all. he didn’t want you to suffer because of his choices, but he also can’t give up on what he loves. it was a constant battle, one he fought every day, not in the ring, but in his heart.

“i made your favorite, handsome.” your sweet,sultry voice pulls him from your thoughts. you look so fucking pretty to him tonight, curls falling a bit past your shoulders framing your heart shaped face perfectly. you’re wearing the pink robe that he loves so much the silky fabric accentuates every curve. your face is bare of makeup and he can see the beauty marks that he loves to trace.

your pretty brown eyes lock onto his, and he feels his heart swoon. there’s something about the way you look at him that makes him want to hold and never let you go. he’s drawn to your plump two toned lips, and he wants nothing more than to kiss you. you’re effortlessly beautiful, stunning, and he’s reminded of just how lucky he is to have you in his life.

“mm’ chicken parmigiana sounds delicious baby.” toji hums, embracing you tightly causing you to giggle.you run your hands through his raven messy hair, it still smells like your strawberry shampoo. funny, considering the two of you had gotten into an argument because he claimed he didn’t use your shower necessities.

usually, you’d chew his ear off about it, but tonight you were just glad your man had made it home.

bruised but safe.

“you have that big fight tomorrow, yeah?” you asked softly, hands massaging into toji’s scalp. he was too wrapped up in your touch to vocally answer, a small ‘mhm’ coming from his throat. you swallow thickly, not being able to stop the knot that was forming deep in your gut as you thought about his match tomorrow.

toji’s a professional, and you know he’s strong, both physically and mentally. but still, the thought of him getting hurt out there makes you sick.

you’ve seen him train, seen the determination in his eyes, and you knew how much this meant to him.

toji’s always so confident, so sure of himself, and you’ve always tried to match that confidence. but deep down, you can’t shake the fear of him getting hurt. you just have to trust in his strength and his skill. he’s worked so hard for this, and you believe in him more than anything.

“i wanna come watch.”

toji retracts his head back, a quipped eyebrow raised at you. you never wanted to attend his matches, he didn’t blame you. it would be hard to see any person that you loved getting pummeled. so he was a bit taken back at your sudden willingness to attend.

“really?”

you nodded with a smile, “yes. i want to come and support my man,” you giggle. toji grins, nodding.

“well, i’ll make sure i don’t get my ass kicked.” he pulls you into a kiss, his touch instantly melting you. you want nothing more than to let him ravage your body on the kitchen table but he needs to eat and rest for tomorrow, he pouts when you push him away.

“down boy,” you tease.

your face pulls into a scrunch as you eye the frostings held in each of your hands , you’d decided to bake a cake for toji’s team. but, you were conflicted on which frosting to buy, buttercream or whipped cream. while you loved the taste of buttercream you hated how quickly it would melt and crack. on the other hand you also loved whipped, but you hated the way it leaked and you were unsure if it would be able to hold up the heavy cake layers.

baking had always been a hobby of yours, ever since you were a little girl. the smell of the fresh dough, the sound of the mixer , the warmth of the oven. you loved every step, and the best part? watching toji take the first bite of all your treats. his eyes would light up, and you’d know you’d hit the jackpot.

toji was always happy to be your taste tester, always ready to sample whatever new treat you’d whipped up. wether it be cake, cookies, or something simply experimental he was always game. it had become your routine, you bake , he tastes.

your thoughts were interrupted when a voice spoke to you.

you peered up, a man a bit older then you was standing in front of your cart. he had beautiful blue eyes and long brown hair that hung in his face, you assumed that you were blocking his away, after all you were standing directly in the cake aisle.

“oh, shoot! i’m sorry am i in your way?”

“not at all! i just couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are. and i was wondering if i could have your number?” he questioned.

before you could even open your mouth to speak you spotted toji storming up, an irritated look on his face as he watched the man talk to you. you’d sent him to go grab sticks of butter, not even ten minutes gone and some fuckface was trying to get with you.

in a flash toji was at your side, one inked arm around your waist protectively. if looks could kill this man would be six feet under the way toji glared at him.

“she’s not interested, fuck off.” toji said unamused, you could feel your cheeks warm in embarrassment at your boyfriends ludacris behavior. it was no doubt toji was the over protective type, but sometimes it could get overwhelming. but part of you found it attractive and incredibly romantic, in a strange way.

“toji,” you pressed your hands against his chest,”that’s not necessary.this gentleman was just asking me where the flour was.” you lie.you were afraid toji would beat the man into a bloody pulp if he knew the truth, your frantic eyes begged the man to go along with the quick lie. if the man had even said one thing that toji found offensive you knew paramedics would be peeling him off the floor.

“yeah…thanks for the help with the aisle number.”

phew.

a sigh of relief pushed through your lips when the man turned on his heels and left. you couldn’t blame him, toji was a six foot three muscled monster, you’d have to be insane to willingly fight him. and his scars from all of his previous fights only made him look more intimidating.

“was that necessary?” you ask, annoyance lacing your voice.

toji shrugs, “very.”

you facepalm,” whatever. let’s just hurry up and get home so i’ll have time to bake.”

buttercream it is.

the two of you had barely made it to the match, toji quickly got dressed and prepped by his team. while you offered red velvet cake around.

“don’t die on me fushiguro.” was the last thing you’d told your geared up boyfriend before he was whisked away to the ring.

the arena was buzzing with excitement as the crowd roared, but all you could focus on was him. your boyfriend, the love of her life, stood in the ring, muscles taut and eyes determined. you had seen him fight so many times before, but never a real match.

there was a palpable tension in the air, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that he needed you now more than ever.

from your seat, you watched intently as the bell rang, signaling the start of the fight. his opponent was relentless, landing punch after punch, and you winced with every blow he took. it was painful to watch him struggle, his usual confidence wavering as he was pushed back against the ropes. your heart ached seeing him like this, but you knew you had to stay strong for him.

“come on, baby! you can do it!” you shouted, voice cutting through the noise of the crowd. you saw his eyes flicker towards you, a brief moment of connection that seemed to reignite something within him. you kept cheering, your voice unwavering and filled with love.

“you’ve got this! i believe in you!”

with renewed determination, he straightened up, shaking off the pain and fatigue. your words echoed in his mind, giving him the strength he needed to push forward.

he dodged a punch and countered with a powerful blow that sent his opponent staggering. the crowd erupted in cheers, but all he could hear was your voice, guiding him, encouraging him.

the fight turned in his favor, each punch he landed bringing him closer to victory. you watched with bated breath, your hands clasped together, silently praying for his success.

when he finally knocked his opponent to the ground, the referee began the count, and you could hardly contain your excitement.

“yes! yes! you did it!” you screamed as the final count was made, declaring him the winner.

you rushed to the edge of the ring, your heart pounding with pride and love. as he stepped out, battered and bruised but victorious, you couldn’t help but throw your arms around him.

“i knew you could do it,” you whispered, tears of joy streaming down your face.you kissed him passionately, not caring about the sweat and blood, just overwhelmed by the sheer emotion of the moment.

he held you tightly, his exhaustion melting away in your comforting embrace. “i couldn’t have done it without you,” he murmured, his voice filled with gratitude and love.

the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, oblivious to the cheering crowd around you two. in that moment, nothing else mattered but your love and the strength you found in each other.

the living room was dimly lit, casting a soft glow over the cozy space. you nestled into the couch, your head resting gently on toji’s chest. the rhythmic rise and fall of his breathing was soothing, a stark contrast to the intensity of the fight tournament you two had just returned from.

you were so happy you had decided to go; seeing him in action, giving his all, had filled you with pride and admiration.

his inked arm was wrapped around you,holding you close, and you could feel his calm heartbeat beneath your ear. you smiled to herself, savoring the quiet moment. the adrenaline from the evening had finally worn off, leaving them both in a peaceful, contented state. you thought he might have fallen asleep, his breathing so steady and deep, and you didn’t mind at all.

you wished things could always be like this—simple, serene, and full of love. the chaos of the outside world seemed so far away when you were together like this, just enjoying each other's presence. you gently traced circles on his chest with your finger, feeling the warmth and comfort of his body next to yours.

in that moment, everything felt perfect. the fight, the cheers, the victory—they all led to this, a quiet evening wrapped in each other’s arms. you closed your eyes, letting yourself drift into the tranquility of the moment, wishing that your lives could always be filled with such simple, beautiful peace.

“you know, i almost gave up.”

you lifted your head to toji, “what?”

“then i could hear you cheering me on, then i knew i couldn’t.”

before you could reply to your boyfriend his soft lips were on yours, earning a surprised shriek from you.his kisses held so much passion it made your stomach swirl with desire.you could only moan as his lips slid down to your neck kissing,licking,sucking bruises onto you that you’d have to cover tomorrow.his touch was fucking electric, each gentle peck of his lips on your skin send shocks throughout your body.

“let me show you how much i appreciate you princess,” toji husked darkly, beginning to move downward.you couldn’t help but let your eyes flutter close as he began hiking up your oversized shirt, the feeling of his large hands kneading your doughy thighs making your stomach swirl in anticipation.

toji had barely touched you and yet here you were falling apart from the way he kissed your body.a gasp left your swollen lips as toji’s mouth brushed over your clothed cunt,you smelled so fucking good to him, sweet just like all the treats you’d bake him.

you looked so fucking pretty , your doe eyes gazing down at him with longing from beneath delicate lashes, legs spread in want.there was an excited glint in his eyes as they landed on your pink lace panties decorated with a bow on the hem.your stomach churned, “this pussy is perfect” he groaned.

“p-please touch me.” your soft voice cracked.you needed him to do something, anything, you were bursting at the seams. you gulped as you observed him kneel further down, feeling your legs spread further apart as he took you in. a smirk appeared on his lips.

“already so wet, and i’ve barely even laid a finger on you pumpkin,” he chuckled deeply.you felt your neck grow warm in embarrassment, he wasn’t lying your pussy was practically a water slide with how wet you were.

toji looped his fingers around your underwear and pulled them down your thick thighs,groaning at the sight of your quivering pussy. you let out a cry as he ran his finger along your juices and brought it to his mouth.the taste, an intoxicating blend of sweetness and bitterness sent waves of pleasure through him.

“so good,” he moaned.

your head tilted backward as his soft pink lips lazily licked over your pussy, savoring every drop of your essence. your stomach twisted as he opened your slick folds and ravished you, his nose brushing against your sensitive clit, causing pleasurable mewls to escape from you.

you grabbed his messy raven hair and pulled, evoking a deep moan from him as your short acrylic nails pressed enticingly into his scalp. he was looking forward to the the scratches you would leave on his back. a hand reached under your shirt to your sensitive nipples, toes curling as he played with the hard bud.toji knew your nipples were extremely sensitive yet he was always playing with them, sucking, biting, licking.

just before returning his hand to your trembling thigh, he gave your nipple one final tug.

toji released weeks of built-up sexual tension with his tongue onto you, remembering every time you brushed against him and every moment you kissed him, your warm body pressed against his. you’d denied him each time, knowing he needed all the rest he could get before his upcoming match.he expressed all his desires without any remorse for your trembling pussy.

his mouth wrapped around your swollen clit and your back arched.

“fuck, i’m so s-sensitive! s-slow down toji," you begged, as his tongue swirled quickly around the sensitive bud. a jolt of shock coursed through your body when his teeth grazed it, causing you to gasp. you were nearing your climax and fast. though you felt embarrassed about reaching this point so fast, each touch from him was wrapped pure ecstasy.

each fucking touch of his tongue made your lips quiver and he wrapped his arms around your thighs, drawing you deeper into his embrace.”t-toji," you whimpered, your words stuck in your throat.

"damn, i enjoy hearing you say my name like that," he murmured against you, the rumble of his voice intensifying your pleasure. he glanced up at you, feeling excitement as he took in the sight. you hung your head forward in ecstasy, your mouth open as a stream of whiny moans and expletives escaped. your eyebrows knitted together above tightly shut eyes. he noticed your arms trembling under the effort to hold yourself up and grinned.

his actions left your head spinning, and you couldn’t help but grip the sofa as your eyes rolled black.

toji knew you had a tendency to run and he has you locked in his arms, legs wide open. he quickly took advantage of your flexibility bending your legs backwards until they were inches from your face.

his tongue found its way to your asshole warming a squeal from you, your stomach was twisting as he licked around the ring of your ass. “toji!” you cried out as he ate your ass hungrily.toji had always been an ass eater, he always begged to do it even if he wasn’t getting anything in return.

his tongue feels warm and electric. he’s eating you softly and sensually, bliss spreading slowly throughout your body. he picks up speed, he’s rough and passionate now, tears pricking your eyes, every lick lighting up your senses.

“tell me how daddy’s making you feel,” toji moans, licks now back working on your shivering cunt.you cry out as his tongue flutters against your throbbing clit, words caught in your throat.a crack of his hard thunders across you thigh, a squeak erupting from you.

“don’t be rude princess, tell me.”

“g-good, sooo fucking g-good daddy!” you whine, thigh stinging.

a high pitched whimper left your lips as he slid two fingers inside of you, the stretch making your body churn in pleasure. toji and you hadn’t had sex in weeks so you were extremely tight and his two fingers felt like four.”so tight, guess i’ll have to break you in baby.” toji laughed, fucking laughed.

he knew he possessed complete control over you, and this exhilarated him. you were putty in his hands.

his lips reattached to your clit as you let out a soft moan; the sensation of his finger combined with his tongue on your clit bringing tears to your eyes.he added another finger, causing you to wince at the stinging sensation, a mixture of your fluids mixed with his saliva seeped from you onto the bed.

every thrust from toji had your stomach fluttering.your pussy gripped his fingers tightly, he realized you were approaching your edge, which spurred him on to pound your pussy even more fiercely.

“damn,already? i wanted to have more fun.” he chuckled.

“f-feels s-so good,” you whined out.with one final glide of his fingers combined with a teasing lick of your clit, you found yourself reaching the peak of pleasure as your body arched in ecstasy.toji continued his movements, his fingers curling into that particular spot, you were a sobbing mess.

your stomach clenched , and before you could snap your legs closed you were squirting all over toji.he quickly retracted his fingers and rubbed your clit in hard circular motions,a wide smile on his face.

“squirt on me baby.”

surprise washed over you when he opened his mouth and started drinking your fluids, collecting each drop from you with his agile movements. your arms grew weak, and your back slammed against the sofa arm.

when he finally pulled away, a string of your juices mixed with his saliva broke.the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness, you beckoned toji with your pointer finger. he wastes no time wrapping his hands around you, crashing his lips against yours, swiftly removing your shirt.

while his hands explored you, yours explored him.as you looked at him, your eyes traced the lines of his physique. his toned stomach and buff arms were a testament to his dedication and hard work as a boxer. each muscle, each curve of his body told a story of countless hours spent training and pushing his limits.

your gaze softened as you noticed the scars and bruises from his match. they were reminders of his strength and resilience, each one a badge of honor. you couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection and admiration for him.

you leaned in closer,lips gently brushing against the marks on his skin. you kissed each bruise and scar tenderly, as if your touch could somehow ease the pain and heal the wounds.

“they don’t hurt baby,” he said softly, thumb caressing your cheek lovingly.you nodded, fingers wrapping around the hem of his sweatpants and swiftly pulling them down.you gulped at his dick.It was easily nine inches long and had the girth of a soda can, you’d forgotten how big he fucking was.

as if he could read your mind he spoke up, “promise i won’t break you beautiful.”

your lip caught between your teeth and you nodded, a gasp of surprise leaving you when toji pulled you up and forced you to lay stomach first on the sofa.

the sound of moans engulfed the space as he penetrated you, stretching your sensitive pussy further than you ever thought possible with his full length.he was so fucking deep it felt like he was in your stomach.

your legs trembled with anticipation before he even started, you pressed your cheek against the cushion and closed your eyes.

“just breathe,”

the wind was knocked out of you as toji began pounding into you,your ass clapping against his stomach with each thrust of his hips.you cried out and gripped the edge of the sofa, he hadn’t even let you get fully adjusted and the sharp pain that encased your pussy had your head reeling.

“d-daddy!” you panted in pleasure, you felt so fucking good around his dick and it had his head light.your round ass jiggled with each movement,he spread your cheeks and let out a groan as he watched your greedy pussy lips suck on his dick each time he pulled out.

you felt pathetic underneath him, you could feel his hand pressing into the small of your back, forcing you to arch deeper.you whined in pleasure as he angled himself deeper into you.

“play with your pussy babe,” he husked,one hand placed on the small of your back whilst the other held your ass.”o-okay,” you whimpered, cheek still pressed against the sofa as you began rubbing your sensitive nub.

the sensation of his dick prodding into you and your clit being stimulated had you sounding like a wild animal.you hadn’t been fucked like this in a while and didn’t realize how much you missed it.you looked so fucking sexy to him,plump lips frowned, a thin coat of sweat glistening on your brown skin.

his knees buckled underneath him as he felt your hand grip around the base of his dick, stroking him as he pounded into you.”f-fuck,” he whined breathlessly, your stomach churned.his whines were so fucking pretty, they were a mix of deep and high pitched and it made you want to cum right then and there.you gripped his base so tight it had his head rolling back,he was fully consumed in pleasure as he thudded into you, fingers finding their way to your ponytail and forcing your head up.

“you’ve been waiting for this huh?”

you gulped down a moan,back arched as he wrapped your hair around his hand.

“y-yes.” you admitted breathlessly.

“i know baby.” he cooed,releasing your hair roughly causing your head to jut forward.he reveled in the feeling of your pussy around him,he couldn’t help but bury his face into your neck.his soft grunts and moans played like music in your ears,”you’re fucking me so good.” you moaned.

your soft voice spurred him on, he was nearing his end and quick.he didn’t want to finish so quickly,but the way you spoke,felt, and even the way you always fucking smelled like strawberry shortcake had his stomach filled with knots.he retracted himself from your neck and grasped your ass with both hands,using it as leverage as he drilled into you. he refused to come before you did.

“fuck toji! I’m so close!” tears cascaded down your cheeks as you placed both hands back onto the sofa, bracing yourself.he was fucking you with more passion, more desire and it had you in shambles.you couldn’t help but let your hand find its way back on your sensitive clit, rubbing in time with toji’s thrust.

”a-ah!” you sobbed as you feel his swollen tip prod against your g-spot.

“found it.” he chuckled and you cried out underneath him each time he pressed against the spot.your entire body was shivering from pleasure as he bucked his hips into you mercilessly.your back arched as you felt the pressure in your stomach release, you were a whiny, cumming ,mess and it made toji even harder.

“creaming on my dick like a good girl.” he grunted admiring the sight, a ring of cream covered his dick and stuck to his pubes.he found the sight erotic,and with another buck of his hips he was cumming on your back.his eyes shut tightly as he stroked himself, spurts of hot cum trailing down your back onto your ass.

“good ass pussy.” he shakily stated,pulling you up and turning you around.his soft lips were back on yours, kissing you softly.you moaned,wrapping your arms around his neck.he couldn’t get enough of you, he needed more, he wasn’t ready to stop.he gently placed you down on your back and settled between your legs,your jaw falling slack as he pushed back inside of you, his deep moans mixing with your higher pitched ones.

your legs wrapped around him burying him deeper into your weeping cunt.

that night, you were wrapped in each other’s arms, lost in the passion and love that flowed between you.every touch, every kiss, was filled with an intensity that seemed to transcend time. the two of you made love all night, bodies moving in perfect harmony, hearts beating as one.

nine stressful months later, you find yourself holding your beautiful baby in your arms. it was hard to believe that this tiny, perfect being was created from that night of pure, unbridled love. as you look down at your child, you feel an overwhelming sense of awe and wonder.

you remember the way you held each other, the way you two whispered sweet nothings in the dark. those moments of intimacy and connection have now given you two the greatest gift of all. your baby’s eyes flutter open, and you see a reflection of both toji and you in those innocent, curious eyes.

tears fill your eyes as you think about the journey the two of you have been on, the love that has brought you to this moment. holding your baby, you feel a deep, unbreakable bond with both of them. your love has created a new life, a new chapter in the story.

as you cradle the child, you whisper promises of love and protection.in your heart, you know that this is just the beginning of a beautiful, lifelong journey together.

@ CINNN4MON ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.DO NOT STEAL OR MODIFY.

to have this life, sigh.

[nyoomfruits]

38 landoscar

38. kiss because they’re running out of time

“Boys?” The voice of Oscar’s mum floats up the stairs into Oscar’s bedroom. “Are you ready? I want to take some picture before you leave!”

“We’ll be right down!” Oscar shouts back, before he turns back to the mirror, fiddling with his bowtie. “God, this thing.”

“Here, let me,” Lando says, getting up from where he was sprawled on Oscar’s bed, having already put on his own suit and tied his tie. He moves over to where Oscar is standing, takes the ends of his bowtie out of his hands.

They’re close, like this, faces only inches apart as Lando desperately tries to focus on the bowtie and not on the way he can pretty much count Oscar’s individual lashes from here. “Nervous?” He asks, just to have something to say.

Oscar shrugs. “It’s prom,” he says, in a rather deadpan voice. Like it’s any other night. And the beauty is, to Oscar, it is. He doesn’t care about this stuff. The dressing up, the dates, the dancing. Which makes it all the more infuriating he actually got a date when Lando didn’t.

Well, that, and the fact that Lando wishes desperately he was said date.

“There,” Lando says, finishes tying the bowtie. “Perfect.”

“Thank,” Oscar says, glancing at himself in the mirror and smiling. “Where did you even learn how to do that?”

“Oliver,” Lando says, noncommittally, because it would be embarrassing to admit that he learned it when it was just him and Oscar going to prom together, when Lando was still hoping something was going to happen, when Lando thought this might be his moment, if it happened.

But then Lily asked him. So.

Speaking of, she should be here any minute, so they can take perfectly cute prom pics in front of the stairs, show them to their kids later, tell them the story of how they met.

Lando’s stomach churns.

He always thought. His entire high school career he thought there was time. He isn’t a hopeless romantic or anything, but he always thought him and Oscar would have this moment. Where they both realized how much they meant to each other. And then they would kiss and everything would be perfect.

But now it’s prom night, and high school is almost over, and the clock is ticking, and nothing has happened.

And the real, harrowing truth is nothing is going to happen, unless.

“Oscar, wait,” Lando says, because seriously. Fuck it. He spend all these years waiting on Oscar, but why can’t he take the plunge instead?

Oscar, by the door, turns around. “Yeah?” He asks, and then lets out a surprised noise when Lando marches over, grabs him by the face, and kisses him full on the mouth.

There’s a second where it’s the most awkward moment of Lando’s life, where they’re just standing in the bedroom they’ve spend so much of their time hanging out together, lips pressed to lips, and then Oscar lets out a shaky breath, and his shoulders fall, and his arms wrap around Lando’s waist, and he kisses back.

It’s the best 30 second of Lando’s life. And then a door opens downstairs.

“Oscar! Lily’s here!”

“Shit,” Lando says, jumping away, nearly launching himself into Oscar’s desk. “Shit, Lily,” he presses. “Oh my god. Oh my god, I made you like. Cheat on your girlfriend, what the fuck. What is wrong with me. Holy shit I’m so not a girl’s girl right now.”

“Lando, what,” Oscar says, still standing by the door a little dazed. “Me and Lily are friends.”

“But you’re going to Prom together,” Lando says, trying so hard not to cry. God, he’s being a horrible friend right now. And Lily. Lily is so nice. Seriously what’s wrong with him.

“Yeah, as friends,” Oscar stresses. “Because you never asked me.”

Lando pauses. Blinks. “But. No, but you didn’t ask me,” he says.

Oscar laughs then. And god, Lando’s heard it a million times, by now, but it never stops being the most gorgeous sound he’s ever heard. “Oh, we’re idiots aren’t we?”

It all starts sinking in now, and Lando laughs too. A loud, relieved thing. “God, we really are,” he says.

There’s a moment where they just stare at each other and then Lando thinks. Take the plunge. “Do you think Lily minds?” He asks. “If I steal her Prom date?”

Oscar laughs, shakes his head. “As long as we still dance with her, I think she’ll mostly be glad to be rid of my pining.”

Lando’s eyebrows shoot up. “Pining? Oh my god, was there pining?” He rushes past Oscar suddenly, heads to the stairs. “Lily! Lily my love you have to tell me about the pining.”

Oscar’s laughter, his delightful, beautiful, show stopping laughter, follows him all the way down the stairs.

[fbfh]

rodrick x hyperfeminine reader hcs 2

wc: 1.7k

genre: mutual pining, minor angst

pairing: rodrick x hyperfeminine!reader

warnings: houseparty, madison and heather aren't very good friends, one brief mention of alcohol/underage drinking but no one is obviously drunk, Brent keeps flirting with you and can't take a hint but it's annoying and inconvenient at most, minor miscommunication, sad roddy at the end

summary: after getting all dolled up for your party (which is really just an excuse to see rodrick and his band play) you spend the whole night not getting to do the one thing you want to do - see Rodrick.

song rec: teenage dirtbag - wheatus, and I imagine them playing put your money on me - the struts, basket case - green day, and of course, diper overlode - loded diper at the party

a/n: the long awaited part 2 is here!! and yes there will be a part 3 that takes place at prom lol

tags at the bottom (tagging all the people who asked for part 2 as well lol)

You’ve spent all week planning your party

Now it’s finally friday after school, and Heather and Madison are at your place, taking on the monumental task of deciding what you’re going to wear

You decide on the new pair of heels you got as your inspiration piece

They’re baby pink and strappy, with a butterfly shape made of little diamonds on the front

You’ve been absolutely obsessed with them, and the party seems like the perfect opportunity to break them in

You dig around in your closet, pulling a few of your other pink dresses

It’s not much of a contest when you see them laid out, and you choose the light pink satin one to go with your shoes

You listen to Heather and Madison gossip while you dig through your jewelry and nail polish, finding some coordinating accessories and your next mani pedi color

“Which earrings?” You ask them, holding up two pairs. 

“That one.” They say in unison, pointing to the one on your left

You were leaning toward that pair anyway, so you’re glad they agree

After finalizing some details and going over what they’re going to wear, all your party outfits are planned

Heather and Madison leave to get dressed, promising to be back within the hour so you can all help each other with hair and makeup

You’ve  practically become their personal beauty guru since you became friends

You always know just what to do to make their makeup look flawless and their hair cooperate when it’s being stubborn

You’re a big ball of nerves while you get the last details set up

Snacks are laid out, drinks are set up

Now all you need is the people

And more importantly

The band

As people show up, Heather drags you around to socialize

You swear, she must make you say hi to every single person there

If you were a little more cynical, you might pick up on the fact that Heather is trying to keep you away from Rodrick

Rodrick, who you’ve been thinking about non stop since you first saw him

You spend the whole time looking around for him and his band 

You think you see him across the room once, but it’s a girl with a dark brown pixie cut

It’s hard to tell in this lighting, and you’re glad you caught it before you made a really awkward mistake

You’re sure it would have been a funny anecdote that lead to you being friends after

On your way back, you get stopped by Brad

He insists on pulling you aside to talk, which Heather and Madison encourage

But right now all you want is to find Rodrick

And all Rodrick wants is to find you

They’re almost warmed up and ready for their set

And GOD he’s never been more excited for a gig

He’s so ready to go all out

To impress you

And to avoid all Justin Bieber songs to prevent another Heather’s sweet 16 incident

He fidgets with his drumsticks and looks around again

He still doesn’t see you

Which sucks, because he’s been thinking about this exact moment non stop since loded diper got this dream of a gig

He’s been making the boys practice way more than normal

Much to his parent’s dismay (even though they’re starting to sound pretty good)

To avoid another Heather Hills sweet 16 situation

But more importantly, to impress you

When Rodrick fell asleep every night this week, he had a variation of the same dream

Playing at this party, rocking the house so hard people talk about it for years afterwards, and getting to see you

You’re so beautiful, standing dead center at the front of the crowd, looking up at him the whole time

They barely finish their set when you weave your way through the band, and walk right up to him

His heart is pounding as you start praising him, telling him how good he was, how you want to be his little rockstar’s girlfriend

He usually gets so excited he wakes himself up after that

And now

It’s finally happening

His literal dreams are coming true

His band got a great gig

And he gets to play for you

This is probably the biggest opportunity since battle of the bands 

The guys know how much he’s been looking forward to this

It’s all he’s been talking about

He really thinks that if everything goes perfect, he might be able to shoot his shot with you

He just has to focus

Focus on playing a perfect gig, focus on figuring out how to woo you

Once they’re all warmed up and hyped up, they start their set

You can hear the band starting to tune up from the other room, and try for what feels like the millionth time to slip away from Brent

You’ve had to turn him down more times than you can count, and he still can’t take a goddamn hint

“I really have to go check on my friends…” you trail off, finally slipping into the crowd

You manage to find Madison, who signals to Heather, and soon all three of you are hiding in the bathroom

You catch your breath for a little while, touching up your makeup while Heather checks herself out and fluffs her hair

Madison sits nearby, texting someone

After a little while, you sigh, figuring you should all get back

Heather and Madison share a look while you straighten out your necklace 

Heather walks to the door with Madison right behind her

She pokes her head out of the door, then closes it quickly

“Brent is right down the hall,” she says, turning back to you as Madison nods, “we should wait in here a little longer

It feels like you wait in the bathroom forever while Heather occasionally sending Madison out to check

After a little while you hear faint music

Your stomach drops

You can’t miss the band, the whole point of throwing this party was getting to see Rodrick and loded diper play 

“Did they start already?” you ask, walking toward the door

Heather grabs your arm before you can open it, telling you Brent is still right outside, and sends Madison to go check if the band started yet

Madison comes back a minute later

“They’re still warming up,” she says, sharing a look with Heather

A little while later, the music gets louder and you don’t want to risk missing their show

You leave the bathroom before Heather and Madison can stop you 

You’re met with loud rock music reverberating through the house

Definitely not just warming up

You try to get to the other room where they’re playing so you don’t miss the rest of their set

Before you get very far, Brent catches your eye and cuts through the crowd

He follows you around and keeps trying to pull you aside to flirt and talk and get you to go out with him 

You manage to get to the doorway of the room they’re playing when he pins you against the wall

He’s going on and on about how you’d be perfect together, you’d be lucky to get with him, everyone at school wants him

But all you can think about is how great the band sounds

They’re like a perfect blend of all the best pop punk and rock groups you’ve ever heard

Right off the bat, you pick out influences from green day, my chemical romance, and metallica 

You’re really fucking impressed

You didn’t expect them to be this good, and you didn’t have low expectations to begin with

You just wish you could get away from Brent to really get to see the rest of their set before it’s over

When the song ends, you hear Rodricks voice and stretch up to try and see him as he leans into the mic

“Thank you, we are Loded Diper! Fuck authority!” he looks over at Chris, then leans back into the mic “And the patriarchy!” 

Your stomach sinks as you realize you missed most of their show, but you still cheer louder than anyone else in the room

Rodrick lets out a little puff of air when Chris taps his shoulder, getting his attention

“Uh, listen man…” Chris starts, but Rodrick doesn’t hear what he says after that

He looks over to where Chris is gesturing, and his heart sinks

Brent has you pinned against the wall across the room, and you two are looking awfully cozy together

“Shit…” Rodrick says

Once again, he looks like an idiot for thinking he has a chance with you

“C’mon, let’s get out of here,” Ben says, signaling to Ward to help them bring their stuff back out to the van

They wrap it up and leave quickly, and Ward, Ben, and Chris try to figure out how to help their heartbroken drummer 

You spend the rest of the party looking for Rodrick

You hope he stuck around, you really want to tell him how great he was

When the alcohol runs out and the party’s over, Madison and Heather sleep over, helping you clean up 

Technically Heather makes Madison help you clean up

All they can talk about is prom coming up, but your mind is still on Rodrick

And how you didn’t get to see him

You wish you could have told him how amazing he was

Even if he’s not into you like you’re really, really into him

You just want him to know that you could listen to his music all day and never get tired of it

“...coordinating dates, and-” Heather says, turning to you suddenly, “you’re going to help us pick out dresses, right?” 

You nod, flashing her a smile and hoping to disguise your disappointment at how the night went

“Yeah,” you answer as she goes on about finding you all dates

But you know that if you can’t go to prom with Rodrick, you won’t want to go at all

You just hope by some miracle you’ll get to dance with him, at least once

@dustyinkpages @the-snake-pit @inthehoneymoonwithconnorrk800 @followingthefanfiction @2220825 @marveldemigod17 @celootaku1 @stay-to-reblog @whos-mixxie @mikulovingtrash @inthemindofaweirdo @b0nes-phobic @myymmeloo @wanderlustingcastaway @debbi3-debaser @lubunnii @imaybewrongbutidoubtit @cloverhasnobrain @bessonasa @strangelysamantha @1-800-starkindustrie @brookeskitty @1ummcalhoody6 @always1s4youbitch-blog @citri-koi @vincentluvr444 @brunnetteiwik @melllinaa @reeces-pieses @mentamaree @jasontodd-artemisgrace4life @jinniy

[eliluvschan]

My Eternity

pairing: bang chan x reader

word count: 2.098

warnings: cutie channie explaining his relationship & like one curse word?

genre: fluff

a/n: when i tell you i've never had a boyfriend would you believe me? lmaoo i blame the 4am thoughts for this one. took me 4 hours to write this with like 7 mental breakdowns through? i was listening to WOW and i reeeaally wanted to add Jisung's; jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo? but rlly didn't know how lmao + i'm addicted to this small lettertype so imma use it from now on ;) okay now i'll let you go read. enjoooooy ♡

i’ve known you ever since the day when we were kids.

- we’ve been neighbours since childhood. you moved to my hometown, went to my class and blended in. everyone liked you, how could i not?

the happiest moment to ever exist.

- i was always happy when you sat beside me and my friends, not wanting to make friends with the others in high school.

check my bucket list, oh, you were on the list.

- before i met you, i didn’t have a bucket list. you just kind of became my best friend and we made a bucket list together. i never showed you mine, cause you were on the list.

i’m living the dream, somebody heard my wish.

- it has always been my dream to have someone like you by my side, so understanding, so beautiful with such an amazing soul. my wish has been heard and i’ve been the happiest ever since.

call out your name.

- my Y/nnie, princess, little one, baby girl, sweetheart, darling, love, honey, baby, jagiya, sweetie, future wifey, koala bear, cuddle bug and many more sweet names. i can give you a million nicknames.

you do the same.

- Channie, future husband, baby, jagiya, sweetheart, cutie, sweetie, boyfriend, darling, baby boy, prince, hottie, kangaroo, Chris, Christopher, Bahng. you never run out of nicknames for me and they always make me blush, laugh and flutter.

hug you all day.

- you love hugging me and so do i. it’s the best part of when i come home after a tiring day of practice and engulf you in a big hug like it’s the last time i’ll ever hug you.

i hope this’ll never end for eternity.

- i love you like the person you are, how your nose and brows scrunch together when you can’t open something and always ask me, or how you silently hug me from behind or the side when i’m busy producing songs. i don’t ever want to leave your side.

— ❀ —

i just want all time to stop.

- time has always been an issue. whether it’s morning or evening. i won’t ever get tired of you. the way you whine in the mornings for five more minutes, or evenings when you cling to me like my little koala bear.

— ❀ —

i’m never letting go.

- i am never letting go of you. you’re stuck with me jagiya. now until eternity.

let’s go on a little walk, see the world outside.

- i always have to drag you outside, or else you want to stay inside most of the times we're together. it's cute.

don't wanna let you go.

- never ever will i leave you. my eyes always find you in a crowd, at concerts or fan-meetings. one small smile and i feel like i can achieve anything in this big, scary world.

the way that you give me your hands, i'll fly.

- the first time you gave me your hand, was when your date dumped you at prom. you were so sad and i wanted to punch the bastard right then and there. even though i wanted to be the one who took you to prom in the first place.

at times when i feel down or empty.

- the times when i'm stressed with work, or when i have writers-block, you're always there to distract me. even without me saying anything, makes me love you even more.

you're always beside me.

- you're always there to catch me at my lowest moment. when i feel like a bad leader, or when i feel like i'm not enough for you, the boys or my siblings back in australia. you're just there doing something random with Jisung or Hyunjin and it brings the hugest smile to my face, making me forget all my worries.

promise that i'll love you plenty.

- i promise that i'll always love you. even when i don't show it or say it enough, my heart only beats for you. the way you joke around with Changbin, Felix and I.N. or play savage with Lee Know or Seungmin. it just fills my heart even more than i thought it could.

i hope this'll never end for eternity.

- i'm sure i tell you this lots but the way you always fiddle with the strings of your (my) hoodie or the way you put your hands in your or my holes in our jeans when you're anxious. it's adorable.

— ❀ —

when i look at you i know that you're the only one.

- i have never been in serious relationships but this one with you is something else. i want you to know that i want you as my first and last for everything.

the only one yeah.

- you're the only one that can make me do things i usually hate and the only one that can calm me down in your own magical way.

nothing in the world could beat our little special bond.

- nothing in the world can try and break our bond. with each other we can be crazy in our own way and none of us would judge each other for that.

'cause we are one.

- we are one. you complete me just as i complete you. you know everything of me like i know everything about you.

run around and make a mess, we don't even have to rest.

- the boys are always loud and a mess so i guess i need you to help me clean after them. being a dad of 7 is a tiring job. luckily i have you and together we can do anything.

every moment is a precious memory.

- every moment together or with the boys are precious. like dancing with danceracha until the early mornings, rapping sessions with 3racha in the studio or just joking around with vocalracha when they have nothing to do.

the way you wake me up in bed, yeah, i hope this never ends.

- you always lave little kisses around my face or just stare at me, staying in my embrace. it's mainly me waking you up cause you love your sleep and always ask for 5 more minutes to lazy around in bed.

i'm lucky that you're my best friend so.

- my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, significant other, my future wife, my girlfriend, my everything. there aren't enough words to describe my love for you. guess we should thank your parents for moving right next to us when you were 10.

— ❀ —

i just want all time to stop.

- those last 16 years went by so fast, it's crazy how fast time flies. i'll never forget our first encounter at school. you bumping into me and then scolding me for accidentally dropping my juice box on your blouse. i felt bad and handed you my shirt. and had a huge smile each time i saw you wearing my shirt that day around school.

— ❀ —

i'm never letting go.

- the time i confessed, and you didn't reply, i thought you'd hate me. instead you grabbed my face and gave me a long and passionate kiss. you were barely 17. i was 20. yet it was the best decision i had made that day.

let's go on a little walk, see the world outside.

- our first date was a walk around the beach. your hand was safely in mine as it was a little over 12 am. our phones full of missed calls from our parents as we enjoyed each other's company.

don't wanna let you go.

- when we told our parents about our relationship, they were over the moon. they never expected us to end up together and your father gave me a firm handshake and told me to speak to him later. never had i feared for my life more than the glare he gave me.

the way that you'll give me your hands, i'll fly.

- the way your hands fit perfectly in mine. it's a sign huh? you're my soulmate now and forever. or how you moved to seoul for me because you couldn't stand the long distance, not realising it would be lonely for you. but then again, i forgot what a social butterfly you are and became friends with half the Kpop industry as you were a dance teacher yourself, teaching dances to little kids who were passionate about dancing.

at times when i feel down or empty.

- there's always times when i feel down or empty. like how i worry about if Berry might forget me after not seeing me for a long time and you reassuring me that she won't. because that's who you are, always reassuring me and the others if one of us is feeling stressed.

you're always beside me.

- you've always been beside me. when i was a trainee, when i debuted, when i wasn't sure about my career and all the other choices i made in these last 16 years. you could read me like an open book and knew all my struggles back then and now.

promise that i'll love you plenty.

- the boys are always complaining how mushy i get when they mention you. they've also mentioned a million times when i'll propose to you, not knowing i've started planning way ahead and am planning to ask you very soon.

i hope this'll never end for eternity.

- you always bring me and the boys lunch on your free days or in the weekend. knowing that we all love your cooked foods. and then like to hang around and even dance together with us to choreo's that Lee Know teaches us. or how you even made some changes to the dances cause you thought they could use another movement.

— ❀ —

ah-ooh (eternity)

- you'll always be my eternity.

ah-ooh

— ❀ —

you make me call out your name.

- a little after 5 pm you arrive home. immediately jumping into my arms as you dump your shoes, coat and bag somewhere in the hallway. ''i missed you jagiya.'' i smile in your neck as you hum in response, telling me you missed me too.

you do the same.

- the way you always call my name when i come back home late. telling you not to wait up, yet every time you still do, attacking me in a tight hug and whine cutely telling me to take a quick shower before we head to bed.

hug you all day.

- the door opens and a few seconds later you're in the hallway with two heavy bags of groceries that you picked up on your way home. while you're cooking, i hug you from behind and we stay in each other's presence as you cook a delicious home made dish.

i hope this'll never end.

- even after a long, tiring day at work, you never fail to amaze me with the amazing dishes you learn from the internet, my mother or yours. the praises i give you aren't enough, so i'll feed you too.

— ❀ —

i'm never letting go.

- you've teased me a lot about going to my 'side-hoes' even though i've never had eyes for someone other than you. of course in those 6 years that we've been together we've had multiple fights. but we always went and apologised even if the fight wasn't that serious. we also have an unspoken rule to never go to bed upset and always communicate things with each other before accusing without proof.

let's go on a little walk, see the world outside.

- i'm planning on asking you on the beach. the exact same one where we had our first date years ago. i've got the perfect plan in mind to get you there and the best way to ask you. i can't wait to see your reaction to this song i wrote for you and the reaction you'll have when i go down on one knee and ask you to be mine for eternity.

don't wanna let you go.

- today, i asked your parents your hand in marriage. they were thrilled to see their little girl getting married to her first boyfriend from 16 years ago. 6 years ago your father glared at me for being the boyfriend of his daughter. today, he gave me a hug and told me he trusted me as your husband.

the way that you'll give me your hands, i'll fly.

- you're never getting rid of me, jagiya. i'll always love and cherish you for who you are. and so will the boys. they were so happy when i told them i'm finally proposing and wanted to be part of the plan too.

eternity.

- you're sleeping in my arms right now, not realising that the ring i'm planning to slip on your finger soon, is safely in it's box in my right hand, while my left arm is tightly wrapped around your fragile body, holding you close to me, your head on my chest right where my heart is beating just for you.

~

[cactus-cuddler]

｡☆✼★━━━━𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝━━━━━━━

Natasha Romanoff

x !female reader

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Word count: 1444

Plot: You have been engaged to Natasha Romanoff since your penultimate year of high school and you will get married in a few months. You have only one regret in your entire relationship: not going to the prom because you were afraid to show yourself to the world for who you are.

Genre: romance, fluff

Author Note: English is not my first language so please excuse any grammatical errors/horrors. If you like it let me know and if you have any requests just write to me!

It is a cold and rainy day. You’re in your bed with your girlfriend, Natasha Romanoff, watching your favorite film for the thousandth time. Lying next to each other, she hugs you from behind, gently stroking your head. The warmth of the blankets and the comforting embrace of Natasha from behind make you feel safe and loved. You and Natasha have been engaged since the penultimate year of high school, and now, in a few months, you will be married. You can't wait. The thought of spending your life with Natasha fills you with anticipation and joy, even on dreary days like this.

Just being with Natasha can turn a rough day into a sunny one. The movie, about teenagers having their love story, ends with the prom where the protagonists are crowned “King and Queen of the party.” It reminds you of when you were that age and didn’t attend the prom with your girlfriend because you were afraid. You hadn’t come out yet, and the thought of not being able to kiss or dance with your girlfriend made you decide not to go. This is one of your biggest regrets, you would have liked to be more courageous but you wanted to deprive yourself and your girlfriend of a magical moment.

You look sad, wishing you could have lived that teenage love without hiding. Natasha notices and asks, "is there something wrong?” you just say “no,” shaking your head. What’s important now is that you have the love of your life here with you. She’s not convinced, but she doesn’t insist. She leaves a kiss on your forehead and holds you tighter.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

You fall asleep before the movie finishes, and Natasha wakes you up.

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Natasha teases, gently tickling your nose to rouse you from your slumber. You blink groggily, your eyes meeting hers.

"Good morning, pirozhóchek,” she says, and you melt. This nickname means “little cake.” She loves cake, and she loves you, so you’re her little cake. “Good morning, darling,” you say rubbing your eyes.

“Today we’re going shopping!” she announces.

“You hate shopping,” you remind her.

“I know, but there’s a special dinner with my team, and someone told me I can’t go in my uniform,” she says with a smile. You recognize the hint (you are that someone) and agree to go shopping with her.

After breakfast, you get dressed and head out. Walking hand-in-hand through your little town, you feel at ease knowing everyone now knows about your relationship. The sky is clear, and the sun is shining. You insisted on walking instead of taking the car so you could enjoy the beautiful day, look at shop windows, watch children playing, and pet some stray kittens.

There is a small store that sells pretty dresses at good prices. The shop is charming, decorated with plants and flowers that fill the air with a lovely scent. Natasha gives you free rein to choose a dress for her, and you’re excited. You’ve never seen her in a pretty dress since you met. You carefully look at the dresses, searching for the one that makes you think, “This is the dress for her.” Natasha walks close by hands in her pockets. When she sees some guys looking at you, she takes your hand to make it clear that you’re hers. You smile at her every time.

“Do I have such an ugly body that there's nothing that would fit me?” she asks, tired. “You have the opposite problem. You’re too beautiful, and no dress would do you justice,” you reply determined to find the perfect dress. Your eyes land on THE dress. It’s perfect for her. It stands out from the others, its design and color scheme seeming tailor-made for Natasha's unique beauty.

“I won’t wear that,” she protests, but you don’t listen. You take her hand and lead her to the dressing rooms. When she comes out, you can only say, “Wow.” She’s gorgeous.

“You’re beautiful,” you say in a faint voice. “I can’t go around dressed like this. I look like a princess who needs to be saved, and I’m the one who saves others” she says. You approach her, making your noses touch.

“For once, you will be my princess,” you tell her, and she smiles at you. You share a small kiss on the lips, and she goes to change and pay for the dress.

"For you, anything," she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper.

。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆。·:*:·ﾟ★,。·:*:·ﾟ☆

After lunch, she says she has to work, leaving you alone at home. Sundays are usually your days together, the only day you don’t have to work. It makes you sad, but you know Natasha’s work is important. You decide to put on your favorite music and eat your favorite ice cream to keep your Sunday happy and lazy. Someone knocks at the door. You hope it’s Natasha, even though you know it’s impossible. There’s a package in front of the door, addressed to you. You haven’t ordered anything online, and Natasha didn’t mention it, but curiosity gets the better of you, and you open it. Inside, you find a golden letter and a dress. Not just any dress, but the one you would have worn to the prom years ago. The only person who knows about that dress is Natasha. Your smile can’t be any bigger. You open the letter and find a prom invitation:

“For students who attended this school year, you are all invited to participate in the prom.”

At first, you think it must be a joke or a mistake, but the second piece of paper in the envelope reveals you have the best girlfriend in the world: “Thank you for coming to prom with me. I’ll pick you up tonight at 7:00.” It’s only two hours till 7:00, and you’re a mess! If only she had told you earlier.

You’ve never prepared so quickly before. When the doorbell finally rings, you're putting the finishing touches on your ensemble, a nervous excitement bubbling within you. With a deep breath, you open the door to find Natasha standing before you, radiant in the dress you had chosen together, a single red rose in her hand.

“Such a beautiful lady,” she says, handing you the flower. She offers you her hand, and you take it. Together, you head to her car, where she plays the songs you used to listen to in high school, bringing back fond memories.

“Where are we going?” you ask, noticing the unfamiliar route.

“It’s a surprise,” she replies, and you hum along to the songs. She parks in front of a beautiful park and blindfolds you, carefully leading you inside. When she lets you see, you’re in the middle of a meadow, surrounded by balloons, speakers, and a stage. Just the two of you.

The sky paints a stunning backdrop with shades of yellow, orange, and purple, and the dim sunlight adds a romantic touch to your little corner of the world.

“I know it’s not the same because there’s no one else, but I wanted you to be able to dance at your prom too,” she says, starting the music with a remote control. “Will you allow me this dance?” You hug and kiss her passionately before starting to dance to the notes of “My Love Mine All Mine.” She gently caresses your back while you dance, and you hold her tight as if nothing could ever separate you. After the dance, she goes on stage and pulls out a crown and a microphone from a box you hadn’t noticed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like your attention,” she says, looking straight into your eyes.

“It’s time to name the king or queen of the ball.” She pauses for dramatic effect, then announces, “The queen is you,” inviting you on stage to crown you. You share a kiss that leaves you breathless, stopping occasionally to look at each other and smile.

“Anyway, I was tempted to give the crown to that squirrel,” she whispers pointing to a squirrel that was in a tree near you making you laugh.

“You’re still in time,” you tease, and Natasha laughs.

“I think it’s the best prom I’ve ever attended. Thank you so much, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you too, pirozhóchek.” The wind gently caresses your hair as you continue to dance, this time on the stage, the clinking of your heels accompanying the music. Time passes, but you don’t notice it. Your bodies are touching, your hands intertwined, and your love uniting you is all you need at this moment.

[snghnlvr]

6:28 pm. / yang jungwon

yang jungwon x fem!reader

synopsis: jungwon can’t stop kissing you!

includes: 1.5k words | FLUFFY FLUFF | jungwon is a simp | so is the reader so who’s at fault? | tooth rotting scenario that makes me cry about my single life | lots of kissing but i hope you can tell lol | jungwon in a tuxedo? plz sign me up!!

extra: this was supposed to be a short drabble but i think i got carried away .. | jungwon is bias wrecking me help me | i can imagine jungwon doing this to his partner and it dreads me | thank you taylor swift for motivating me to do this instead of my homework rn <3 | someone pls agree that jungwon is taylor swift coded - he’s written by a woman!!!

likes, comments and reposts are appreciated! <3

[below the cut]

i want to wear his initials on a chain ‘round my neck not because he owns me cuz he really knows me, which is more than they can say.

“jungwon!” you called out to him, holding a necklace that had his initials in it.

after jungwon fixed his tie, his figure approached to you immediately when you called out to him.

you’ve been trying to put your favorite necklace for the past five minutes and you realized it’s been almost time for prom in your high school.so you were rushing.

jungwon actually decided to match with you, sending you pinterest inspo when texting you, “us?🥰”. he never failed to make you blush in public. you had to immediately hide your phone from your teacher, putting your hand on your mouth to prevent a smile from being noticed.

jungwon picked a dark, emerald green dress on you since green is his favorite color on you, especially his green sweater. you chose a regular suit on him, but his tie would have the same emerald color. he thought it was the best choice, yet you were happy with the results.

when jungwon picked you up from your house with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, you were in awe. he looked really good in a tuxedo that you can’t believe that he’s your boyfriend.

you’re were so mesmerized.

he looked godly charismatic because it emphasized his body well, his golden skin radiating under your door light and his perfect middle part presented to you. you can still see his natural curly hair at the ends but it made you fall in love. jungwon looked so mature that you wonder if this is how he will look like in a couple of years.

after staring at jungwon, you felt your legs getting jelly.

you were starstruck at his appreciation that you felt like crying but before you do so, you hugged him tightly with your arms around his neck.

you heard jungwon chuckling, imagining his whisker dimples appearing as he stumbled at your sudden action. his hands immediately flew to your waist incase you would trip.

when jungwon arrived to your house, he was really nervous. he thought he will be a stuttering mess when he sees you, imagining your beauty in front of him, him only. his heart was beating so fast, that he thought he will get a heart attack. he took a deep breath and rubbed his chest to ease his anxiety. you opened the door and he felt like a mess. you were shining - glowing - twinkling like a jewel.

you greeted him with a smile as usual and he almost fell down like those cartoons when the male lead faints, but thank the heavens you grabbed him before he could do so.

your parents behind you captured the moment with their phones behind the wall of the door entrance. jungwon waved to your parents, shooting them a small smile as they gladly did the same. their hearts were warmed at the sight they were witnessing.

jungwon pressed his head to the crook of your neck, taking a whiff of your body wash; a combination of cherry blossoms and blueberries. he closed his eyes for a moment before pecking your neck. it slightly tickled you.

he removed himself, still holding you by the waist. he looked down at you with a smile, “hi my pretty girlfriend.” his dimple couldn’t help themselves from showing.

you couldn’t stop smiling at his cuteness. “hi my boyfriend.” you replied back with a cheeky grin. jungwon thought you were too gorgeous. he leaned down to steal a peck, maybe three pecks. making you frozen and hoping that your parents didn’t witness that.

now here you are in the hallways, where both of you didn’t show yourself in front of others yet. you can hear the faded music but you weren’t close to the entrance where people could easily spot you; more like both of you were at the exit.

you stood in front of a circular mirror. you wanted to present yourself, jungwon didn’t mind how long you were gonna take. as long as he’s with you, he couldn’t ask for more.

your frustration didn’t help you in putting on your necklace and you felt getting sweaty from the stress, so you called your lovely boyfriend who has been inspecting the decorations all over the halls with his hands in his pockets and his boba-like eyes wandering around. you find the situation very adorable.

jungwon noticed it what you were asking for even if you verbally didn’t say it. he took your necklace, realizing that it had his initials and he smirked at your wise choice.

you looked in the mirror, seeing your boyfriend easily towering behind you and it made your heart shake. you moved your hair to one side so he can easily put it on.

jungwon slowly opened the chain as you eye his every action. you kept getting distracted by him that it was making you insane.

jungwon took a step closer to you, putting the necklace in front of you. you held your breath when the gold touched your skin.

jungwon was so attentive in making sure that the adjustment was making you comfortable. “is that alright?” he suddenly whispered, making your neck get goosebumps not from his breath but his deep voice.

you nodded and whispered, “yeah that’s fine.” you smiled at him. he couldn’t see you across the mirror but he felt it in your tone.

“done.” jungwon smiled proudly with his dimples. you exhaled as you were touching his initials on your neck, proudly displaying.

jungwon swore that you looked extra attractive.

“you’re so beautiful y/n.” jungwon suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly as he kept his head in your neck just like earlier. it felt perfect like a puzzle piece.

you chuckled at his sudden touchiness. “and you are handsome too, jungwon.” you put your hands on where his hands were on your waist, slowly rocking side to side.

“jungwon that tickles!” you pulled away slightly when you felt his kisses on the side of your neck. jungwon pouted when you pulled away.

“awe i can’t kiss my princess anymore?” you rolled your eyes at his childness. “you know what i meant.” you eyed him at the mirror.

jungwon shook his head, making his hair do a little bounce. he pulled you back in which you easily obliged. he continued planting little pecks, sometimes longer on your neck. your stomach was tingling at his lips touching your skin and the noises made your heart flutter.

you love his kisses.

you looked at the mirror at what was happening. you bit your lip at the attractive scene like it’s a manhwa. your breath was getting heavier each second has passed.

“alright you’re having too much fun now.” you removed his hands from your waist and turned around, your back pressed against your mirror. you fiddled with jungwon’s fingers.

you were about to say something, along the lines of, “let’s go” but jungwon kept staring at you with an affectionate face with his head tilted to the side, not caring about what you were saying. he was gonna to continue.

his lips were pressed into yours once again, making your legs feel like jelly. jungwon held your waist to keep you still as your arms slowly made way towards his neck to make the kiss deeper.

kissing before prom wasn’t apart of your bucket list but you didn’t mind it.

jungwon let go, leaning his forehead against you as he stared at you.

you giggled at his lips, it’s now stained in your lipstick. “now your lips are stained.” you tried wiping your lipstick from his lips with your fingers but jungwon didn’t care. he didn’t care how filthy or disgusting comments he would get from getting lipstick stains from you. as long as it was from you, he couldn’t careless. maybe that’s why you love your boyfriend a little too much heh

“you’re so touchy today, i wonder why..” you asked, eyes focused on his lips. you were making sure the lipstick was fully removed but you can’t tell if that’s his natural lip color; being swollen from your kiss or your lipstick.

jungwon tapped his fingers on your hips, slightly gripping them. “because i have the most beautiful girl in front of me.” he smile with a smug that made you laugh lightly. “mhm couldn’t help myself.” he looked proud acting like a prince.

“stop it jungwon, you gonna make me a mess before we take a step inside.” you jokingly pressed your hands against your cheeks, lightly tapping them to indicate your blushing.

jungwon smiled, staring at you with shining eyes as he grabbed your hand from your cheek, intertwining with his and pressed them against his cheek.

your lips were slightly open as it caught you off guard but you smiled from ear to ear when he pecked your hand, staring at you. his eyes were smiling.

“i love you y/n.” jungwon whispered against your lips. “i love you too.” you didn’t hesitant to reply, pecking him one more time before finally fixing yourselves to go inside of your school’s auditorium.

“hey what took so long!?” your classmate heeseung noticed the both of you at the entrance, his voice slightly irritated because both of you said 7:00pm. it was currently 7:30pm.

both of you blushed and looked away.

[stargirlinterludefr]

ENOUGH FOR YOU: former rafe cameron x reader, jj maybank x reader (part 2 of this)

Based off of the song enough for you by Olivia Rodrigo

Synopsis: All you ever wanted was to be enough for Rafe but you realise he could never accept that, someone else can love you the way you deserve though.

TW: mentions of a previous toxic relationship, mentions of drug usage (cocaine), emotional manipulation, angst, fluff, addiction, Rafe being a dick, JJ being his loving self, happy ending (for the reader.)

Word count: Around 3,400

Notes: I’m not as fond as this one but I promised part two and I shall deliver!

I wore makeup when we dated

'Cause I thought you'd like me more

If I looked like the other prom queens

I know that you loved before

The month after you’re split from Rafe was a blur, while you’d felt more freer than you had in over a year you still felt an overwhelming sense of guilt on your shoulders for a reason you couldn’t quite deduce.

However, falling back into stride with the pogues had made things one million times easier. They were like a warm blanket waiting for you after a long day, ready to wrap you up and protect you from the cold. The cold being Rafe.

None of them realised the deep extent to his manipulation of you, the way he’d twisted you into someone so unrecognisable and fragile had them feeling devastatingly remorseful.

Particular everyday instances is where Rafe really shines through in your actions, and the thought had JJ feeling nauseous.

Both you and the Maybank boy are sat on the dock at the Chateau, your legs dangling from the side of the wood as he watches you, his eyes catching onto the hints of makeup lingering on your skin.

“Why’re you wearin’ makeup, mama? It’s like fifty degrees out.” The boy states, his voice airy and joking but it makes your stomach drop slightly as you shrug.

“Force of habit, I guess.” You mumble with a small smile, bringing your knees to your chest as you lay your chin on them.

JJ ponders for a moment, quelling over his previous question and what he would say next to ensure he wouldn’t say the wrong thing. Before Rafe, you hardly wore makeup, you’d wear a small amount sure but it was rarely noticeable and JJ had always thought you looked so entrancing without it but when Rafe cooped you up in his little toxic nest…he doesn’t think he’s seen you go without.

“You know you don’t need it, right? You’re like, the most beautiful girl on the island.” He states, gently nudging your shoulder so you’d look at him “Don’t be tellin’ Kie I said that, she’ll be gettin’ all jealous.” The boy jokes and you give him a gentle smile to which he returns immediately.

Tried so hard to be everything that you liked

Just for you to say you're not the compliment type

One week into your breakup had you looking through old text messages, while you know you shouldn’t, something about looking upon the way Rafe treated you when you were no longer under his thumb gave you a entirely new perspective.

A specific chain of messages has you slowing your scrolling to intently read them.

You: *attached one image*

You: what do you think of this new dress I got?

You let out a scoff at the sight of the dress, mind whirring now at how kooky it looked fitted onto your figure.

Rafe: it’s a dress?

You: that’s it??

Rafe: idk what u expect i don’t do compliments babe

Letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding, you place your phone down and stare up at the ceiling of John B’s bedroom.

You remembered wearing that dress to a party the night after showing him it, feeling completely out of place, like a prized calf dressed up for auction.

And he’d still never complimented you, even when you looked like his picture perfect type.

And I knew how you took your coffee

And your favorite songs by heart

I read all of your self-help books

So you'd think that I was smart

Stupid, emotional, obsessive little me

I knew from the start this is exactly how you'd leave

Officially going out into the outer banks after the breakup took additional encouragement from your friends, you’d been to and from homes but you’d not dared to venture into the town.

Somehow, Pope and Kiara had convinced you to accompany them to a cafe near figure eight as they had quote on quote ‘the best coffee on the island’

You hadn’t considered that you might run the risk of falling into old habits as soon as you walked through the doors.

“What’re you guys fancying?” Kiara quotes in a mock english accent, Pope rolling his eyes at the girl as you snort.

“I’m fancying the idea that you never do that again.” Pope quirks back, earning a frown from Kiara who sarcastically placed her hand to her chest.

“Come on guys, it’s on me.” She notes, looking up at the board of differing coffees as you reply.

“Uh, just a black coffee for me.” You say absentmindedly, swinging on your heels, both Pope and Kie’s heads turning to you making you laugh nervously.

“What? Have my tits fallen out or something? Why’re you looking at me like I just committed a hate crime?” You blurt, eyes darting between them both as Kiara’s face twists slightly.

“You hate black coffee.” She says, ensuring to pronunciation the word ‘hate.’

Pope nods in agreement before adding to her statement, “Yeah, I mean, John B and JJ gave you it as a joke once just after you’d woken up and you literally threw the mug at their heads.”

You look to the floor, picking on the skin of your arm slightly as you shrug and before you can even come up with a lie to explain why you’d had a change of heart toward the drink Kiara speaks up again.

“It’s not you that likes it, is it? It’s Rafe.” You don’t notice the way she and Pope lock eyes, a look of pure anger washing over the Heyward boys face.

You feel stupid, stood there ordering Rafe’s order for yourself, if he were here he’d attempt to joke that you were obsessive and proceed to call you emotional when you had the reaction you were having now.

“Screw that asshole, we’re getting you a…Caramel Cappuccino!” She exclaims, linking her arm with yours as she looks up at the board, “And then we’re going to torch everything you still have of Rafe’s.”

You don’t bother to protest with her, a small grateful smile making its way to your lips.

You found someone more exciting

The next second, you were gone

And you left me there cryin', wonderin' what I did wrong

And you always say I'm never satisfied

But I don't think that's true

'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

And all I ever wanted was to be enough for you

Your phone is blowing up again, a loud groan sounding from beside you as you stare down at the device.

“Is that Rafe again?” JJ grumbled, gesturing for you to show him what Rafe is sending but you hand him your phone instead, the boy immediately begins to shake his head as he reads the chain of messages your ex has sent.

“Can the dude not get a hint?” He mutters, eyes flicking to you as your head falls back onto the sofa.

You zone out for a few moments but your brought back by the sound of JJ’s loud scoff, he’d clearly been reading more of the end laugh gif messages Rafe loved to leave you daily.

“The fuck does he mean you’re never satisfied with what he gave you? That asshole never did shit apart from manipulate and-“ Before he can finish, you’re gently taking the phone from his hold and placing it beside you as you look back to him.

“And that’s what he’s still tryna do, Jay, he says I’m never satisfied but like did he see the amount of chicks he was flirting with at parties? And he has the audacity to say I’m never satisfied?” You ramble, letting out a scoff at the end as JJ stares at you intently and you wait for a moment, for him to interrupt…to tell you to stop yapping, to stop being annoying but he never does so you continue.

And maybe I'm just not as interesting

As the girls you had before

But God, you couldn't have cared less

About someone who loved you more

I'd say you broke my heart

But you broke much more than that

Now I don't want your sympathy

I just want myself back

Walking through figure eight without Rafe feels like an out of body experience for you, as though it wasn’t plausible to actually be without him around here.

Sarah, Cleo and Kiara walk alongside you. The four of you on a small venture to Sarah’s home to get some of her clothes as you’d planned an all girls sleepover at Kiara’s home, allowing the boys to run rampage at the Chateau.

Plus, the girls had been dying to do so ever since you’d officially rekindled with them.

What they didn’t want to do, was to put you through the trauma of seeing Rafe but you’d assured them you were fine going to Tannyhill as long as you were surrounded by them and Sarah had assured you that Rafe was out. He apparently hadn’t been home often since your split.

As you walk through the gate at the front of the mansion, you feel your body riddle itself with anxiety almost immediately making you swallow harshly.

“You okay, girl?” Cleo asks, grasping your hand in her own as Sarah and Kie come to a stop infront of you.

“Yeah I’m good, I just…” you trail off, eyes floating toward Sarah who smiles in understanding.

“You don’t have to come in, me and Kie can just run inside and grab a few things.” She says softly, eyes achingly kind and your mind whirrs back to the conversation you’d had outside of Tannyhill only a few months prior.

You shake you head, “It’s okay, I can just-“ You cut yourself off as your eyes trail upward and to the all too familiar balcony at the front of the mansion where your eyes catch onto a figure.

Rafe is watching the four of your intently, his eyes primarily on you as you freeze up once more with all three girls following your eyeline to spot the Cameron boy.

As expeceted, Sarah is immediately full of apologies.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise he’d be here.” She whispers quickly and you can’t bring yourself to respond, feeling like you’re deep rooted into your spot on the driveway.

Kiara eyes are furious as they look up at your ex, her fist clenching and unclenching as she cocks her head almost challenging him to even acknowledge you.

“That motherfucker better stay where he is or I’ll gut him like a fish.” Cleo states lowly, bringing herself to stand in front of you slightly as Rafe continues to stare.

You snap your gaze away from him, eyes flitting to Sarah who is looking at you with a mass amount of guilt.

“On second thought, I think I’ll stay out here.” You mumble, attempting to have a teasing tone but your voice comes out shaky and vulnerable causing you to curse yourself silently.

Rafe had basically turned you into a frightened child, trembling in her boots at just the sight of him.

“Okay, we’ll be right out.” She says softly, grabbing Kiara’s hand and running inside leaving Cleo to stand infront of you protectively.

“If he even dares to leave that house…” She grumbles, left hand now donning her iconic pocket knife she carried no matter where she went.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you slowly withdraw it, knowing exactly who’s messaged you as your eyes scan the text and then dart to where the man himself stands as you slowly hand Cleo the phone so she could read it herself.

“I don’t want your fucking sympathy!” You shout out, voice holding a slight tremble as you stare up at him in fury, your heart pounding wildly in your chest.

Rafe: I never meant for you to be afraid to be around me

Rafe: plz come in so we can talk.

Don't you think I loved you too much to be used and discarded?

Don't you think I loved you too much to think I deserve nothing?

Five months after the split and you’d successfully avoided any interactions with Rafe, sure he’d been in close proximity to you but thanks to your friends he didn’t even get the opportunity to utter one single word to you.

Overcoming the small manipulations he’d implanted in your mind was a milestone you were incredibly proud of, coming to your own realisations at how fucked up he was toward you.

You’d observed over the months how he’d been with other women, well not seeing him with them personally but hearing about such notions from either Sarah or Rafe’s friends. You’d heard how easily he used and discarded them and you followed his distinct patterns to yourself.

While you knew he was with you for a significant period of time that didn’t mean he didn’t not use you, you were the picture perfect girlfriend to parade around to parties and to impress his father.

But he discarded you after every event, made you feel like a disappointment.

And he’d pushed you to believe you deserved nothing.

Despite that being a significant factor of your relationship you struggle to heal from, luckily, you have JJ.

JJ had always been obvious with his feelings toward you, he never bothered to hide them before you’d gotten with Rafe but he respected your decision when you did eventually get together with the Cameron boy and he ensured he was primarily your friend after the split.

But with months of pining and being there for you, and you for him, he’d laid his heart on a silver platter for you.

You didn’t realise you’d been falling for him but you weren’t going to deprive him or yourself of the happiness it would both serve to you.

And when you told him? JJ became the happiest man on the planet.

But don't tell me you're sorry, boy

Feel sorry for yourself

'Cause someday I'll be everything to somebody else

You and JJ had decided to take things slow, he didn’t want you to feel pressured or like he wasn’t valuing you by rushing into things (A notion which made you fall for the blonde haired boy even more.)

You’d been dating for around a month now, JJ not being able to wipe the cheesy grin off of his face whenever he was with you and you’d never felt happier.

The two of you were sat at the boneyard, tipsy off of beer and one another’s presence, as JJ holds you onto his chest.

What you had failed to notice, was Rafe making his way to stand before you and at the sight of him your stomach churns violently with nerves.

“So what? You’re fucking Maybank now?” He says loudly, voice hoarse and at the sight of the boy’s appearance you immediately feel sorry for him.

“Get lost Cameron.” JJ says boredly, not bothering to move from his position holding you as he glares up at Rafe.

“Look, I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry! But fucking Maybank is low, I didn’t realise you were so fucking trashy.” Rafe slurs but you don’t find yourself being hurt or even bothered by his words as you simply tilt your head at him.

“Yo! Watch your kook mouth when speaking to my girl!” JJ shouts, voice laced with fury as he goes to rise but you place a hand on his chest to settle him back into place as you snap your head to Rafe.

“I don’t give a shit about your apologies, Rafe, I don’t think it’s me you need to be sorry for.” You state, voice not tethering on anger as you lean into JJ showing your lack of interest toward the Cameron boy. “It’s yourself.”

And they'll think that I am so exciting

You’d heard from Sarah that Rafe had stopped doing cocaine, apparently he’d even gone to a rehab centre on the mainland and you acknowledged that you felt truly happy for him.

But honestly? You couldn’t bring yourself to dwell on the thought of him getting his shit together.

Sure, you cared, a part of you would always hold care for Rafe but you didn’t spend time thinking about the man or what could’ve been if he’d begun healing while you were together or even before.

It’d been 18 months since you’d split from Rafe and you never thought you’d know the happiness that you’d witnessed on John B and Sarah’s faces at that party.

You were wrong, obviously.

You’re walking down the pathway after finishing up work at the small cafe you’d landed a job at in figure eight, Sarah having gotten you the role as it was one of Rose’s friends who owned the business.

JJ was on his was to pick you up, having already told you he’d be slightly delayed as he’d promised to do a small delivery for Pope’s father and you’d assured him you were okay with waiting as he borderline refused to let you walk from figure eight to the cut. The journey being around an hour and he didn’t want his girl getting overheated.

You’re not paying attention as you walk, eyes trained on your phone as you message on the Pogues group chat and due to your distraction, you collide into a chest which leaves you grappling to grasp your phone before it falls.

“Oh my god, i’m so sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going.” You exclaim, blowing out a breath as you look at the person who you’d walked into and your eyes widen slightly at the sight.

Rafe.

Yet, he didn’t look like the Rafe you remembered.

The boy had shaved his head of hair away, now donning a buzz cut and the usual blown pupils that looked upon you in the past were now a normal sizing as he smiles down at you, nervously.

“It’s all good, y/n.” He says softly, not protesting when you take a step backward. “H-how have you been?”

You nod and shrug awkwardly at the same time, “Good, really good actually.”

Rafe smiles, “I’m glad to hear.”

“And you?” You ask, shoving your hands into your shorts that weren’t actually yours but JJ’s.

“I’m getting there, I’m uh three months clean now.” He notes and you feel yourself smile at the mention, not noticing the way his gaze seems to light up at the sight of your smile.

“That’s good, I’m happy for you.” You state, eyes genuine and sincere as you look up at him.

“I know it’s not my business but, how are you and Maybank doing? You guys still together?” He inquires and you want to snap at him for asking but you instead smile wider at the mention of JJ, happy you get to talk about your love.

“Yeah we are, we’ve actually just got our own place together.” You say softly, now fiddling with the promise ring JJ had given you which was placed perfectly on your right hand.

Rafe eyes watch your movements and while you don’t see the regret in his gaze, he feels it immensely.

The boy opens his mouth to respond but the sound of a motorbike whirring has the both of you turning to the source. At the sight of a familiar red bike drawing nearer, you grin.

“That’s Jay.” You mumble to yourself, turning back to Rafe as you smile at him once more, “It was good to see you, I’m real glad you’re doing better.” And while you know it sounds rushed, you can’t bring yourself to care as you turn away and walk down the pathway to where JJ had pulled up.

When you were with Rafe, you’d be expected to just hop onto the bike with no greeting as he’d impatiently tap his fingers on the handles. But JJ isn’t Rafe, not even close.

The blonde haired boy immediately stands off of his bike, propping it up and jogging toward you as he scoops you into his arms to spin you around causing you to squeal in delight.

Rafe watches the interaction, the pure bliss on your face similar to nothing he’d ever seen when the two of you were together and while he’d forever consider you to be the loss of his life he couldn’t find himself being bitter you’d found love with JJ.

Rafe didn’t treat you with the love or excitement you deserved but JJ does, and the Maybank boy will ensure he spends the duration of your lives together proving you deserve such happiness.

[calicoheartz]

𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 ; 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐆𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐒

read part one here ✧･ﾟ

꣑୧ — summary | you and Paige had been inseparable since the two of you were younger, she's adored you since the day she laid eyes on you. with you oblivious to her feelings, how does she plan on making you see her the way she sees you? (continued)

wc ; 758

— warnings | friends to lovers , kinda slow burn , mainly fluff & a tiny bit of angst

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : here’s part 2 to “from the start” ! If you haven’t read the first part , make sure to check it out before reading this one ! Enjoy besties ◡̈

Our time together became more frequent. We’d hang out at the park, grabbing ice cream and talking about everything and nothing. Paige’s presence was a comfort I had come to rely on, though I still didn’t see the deeper meaning behind her actions.

One night, as we lay on the grass watching the stars, Paige turned to me, her expression serious. “Have you ever thought about the future, like what you want to do, where you want to be?”

I shrugged, my eyes fixed on the twinkling sky. “I guess I haven’t really thought that far ahead. What about you?”

Paige hesitated, then said softly, “I know one thing for sure. I want to be with people who make me happy.”

I turned to her, meeting her gaze. “You’ll always have me,” I said, not realizing how much those words meant to her.

Our high school prom was approaching, and everyone was buzzing with excitement. I hadn’t thought about asking anyone, but Paige had already made up her mind.

“Hey, who are you taking to prom?” she asked casually one afternoon.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

Paige bit her lip, gathering her courage. “How about we go together? As friends, of course,” she added quickly, masking her true hopes.

“Yeah, that sounds great!” I agreed, genuinely pleased at the idea of spending the evening with my best friend.

Prom night arrived, and Paige looked stunning in her deep blue dress. I couldn’t help but stare, suddenly aware of how beautiful she was. We danced and laughed, and for a moment, I felt something shift in my chest, a strange new feeling I couldn’t quite place.

The weeks following prom were a blur of final exams and graduation preparations. Paige and I spent even more time together, making the most of our last days of high school. One evening, as we sat in my room listening to music, Paige turned to me, her expression unreadable.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

“Of course,” I replied, sensing the seriousness of the moment.

“I’ve… I’ve had feelings for you for a long time,” she confessed, her eyes searching mine for a reaction.

I blinked, stunned. “You mean, like… more than friends?”

Paige nodded, biting her lip nervously. “Yes, more than friends. I’ve been trying to show you, but I guess I wasn’t very good at it.”

I sat there, processing her words. Suddenly, everything made sense—the notes, the little gestures, the way she looked at me. My heart pounded as I realized that maybe, just maybe, I felt the same way.

“Paige, I… I think I’ve been blind. But now that you’ve said it, I realize that I care about you too. More than just a friend.”

Paige’s eyes lit up with hope. “Really?”

“Really,” I confirmed, reaching for her hand. “I’ve always felt something, but I didn’t know what it was until now.”

With our feelings finally out in the open, Paige and I embarked on a new chapter of our relationship. It was a slow burn, as we navigated the transition from best friends to something more. There were moments of awkwardness and uncertainty, but also moments of pure joy and tenderness.

We spent the summer together, exploring our new dynamic. Each touch, each kiss, was a revelation, deepening our bond. Our friends noticed the change, and they were happy for us, having seen the connection we shared all along.

There was a tiny bit of angst, as we worried about what the future would hold, especially with college on the horizon. But we faced it together, confident in our love and the strength of our friendship.

As we stood on the threshold of a new adventure, hand in hand, I realized that Paige had been right all along. The magic of our connection was undeniable, and I was grateful every day for the love that had been right in front of me all these years.

Years later, as we walked down the aisle on our wedding day, I looked at Paige and saw the same shy smile that had captured my heart so long ago. She had adored me from the start, and now, I could finally say that I adored her just as much.

[earth4angels]

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲

𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when she saw him, she was only twelve with a bag of bread crumbs for her birds in the park. she thought he was beautiful and funny, he saw the world differently and there was never a moment he didn’t show her the beauty of it , she just didn’t think just how much pain he held inside.

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: character death, blood, bullying, mentions of murder, gun violence, depression, hurt & comfort. childhood friends to lovers (kinda). miscommunications.

You first met Oliver Hide on a spring day, which ended up being a gloomy day. You did not mind, you loved to take walks after school to feed the birds at the park. It was always quiet, chirping and the low sounds of the wind was all you heard so when you found a boy around your age with his knees pressed against his chest, you stopped.

To question was wrong, but you couldn’t help to wonder why was he so sad? Why was he crying? You figured it was best to leave him be, your parents taught you to never meddle into anything that didn’t concern you. This was also a stranger.

As you backtracked, the leaves announced your departure. You winced when you saw the stranger’s head snap up from the bundle of sadness to look directly at you.

You offered a small smile filled with embarrassment, “I’m sorry.”

The stranger sniffed, wiping his eyes fast before he got up. His voice groggy, raspy from the crying he had released. “Ts’ alright…”

You opened your mouth and closed it again. You shouldn’t, you really should go home and get home before dinner but you just didn’t like the way this boy’s face was filled with so much anguish. The look did not fit him.

To hell with it.

You bit your lip before you spoke, “Are you… are you okay?”

He paused from grabbing his backpack, his eyes shaking. You saw the mental battle he was going through, the way he swallowed, or how his hands began to fiddle.

You knew better than to meddle into things that did not concern you. Mentally you slapped yourself, “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t-“

His hand went up to stop you, “No! No it’s okay. Thank you.”

Your eyes met his again, and for some reason your heart broke at the sight of him. His eyes were blood shot, his nose red by the constant rubbing. You felt the need to hug him, to give him your comfort bunny that helped you when you felt sad.

“Do you.. do you know what helps me?”

He sniffed, the sleeve of his sweater wet yet he cleaned his runny nose. Timidly, he shook his head so slightly you almost missed it.

“Henry. My plush bunny. My mom gave me him when I broke my arm from doing cart wheels. I cried a lot but when I held him. I felt better.”

The stranger smiled with secrets you wanted to know. “That’s nice.”

You nodded with enthusiasm, you saw the way the sadness began to leave his face. So you took steps closer to him, extending your hand out with a smile on your face. You had succeeded in making his smile look more alive.

“I’m y/n! What’s your name?”

He was taller than you, his hair was nicely combed to the side with slight curls at the tips. His eyes were very pretty and you knew then, it looked better when it was filled with happiness. His hand met yours in an warm embrace, your palm smaller and warmer than his cold, bigger hand.

“Oliver. But, you can call me Ollie,” he spoke with a smile, a genuine smile that made him blush with the longer he held your hand.

You continued to smile, matching his. With your hand in his, and the sun peeking out the clouds, you felt a friendship bloom.

At the age of 12, you befriended a broken boy, who often climbed into your window to lay in your bed and whisper why he was so afraid of being alone. You made a promise one night as both of you laid side to side, watching the glowing stars you had pasted on your ceiling.

“For as long as I am alive, I will always be your friend Ollie.”

Ollie held your hand that night and with a shaky breath he pressed a kiss on the front of your hand. “Do you promise?”

You faced him, flicking his forehead, you giggled when he whined softly, “I pinky and double promise. Crossing my heart if I die, I will never leave you Ollie. I promise.”

From then, the friendship grew. Every day was a new adventure, and having you by his side made Ollie happier. He did not think so much about the problems at home or how his parents constantly neglected him. He was just glad he had you, the most prettiest girl with a bright smile and words that filled his heart with warmth. Every day, was another reason piled in his list to why it was so easy to love you.

Ollie Hide, was in love with you. And he never knew just how much you loved him. The feelings of rejection and a possible outcome where it can ruin an already beautiful friendship was all they could think of. The feelings stayed bottled inside as though every touch and every bonding experience only intensified the feelings felt deep within.

One night, as you guys finally had a sleepover, now both in freshman year of high school — you broke a news that hurt him completely. Your father had been given the opportunity to work abroad, meaning you had to leave for an year or two. That meant, leaving Ollie who was suffering yet again in quiet.

As you broke the news to him, you watched as he began to tear up. He was never afraid to cry in front of you, and you never belittled him, he was important and he made you feel comfort more than anything in the world.

“Whe-When?” he whispered, his heart felt as it stopped beating. He wished then, that when they had done surgery on his heart they made the option of feeling anything go away. His heart began to throb in such an agonizing way, he began to breathe heavily.

You wrapped your arms around him, never letting him go. That night as you cried into each others arms, you made another promise. One that was going to haunt you forever.

“Hey doofus,” you said sadly. Your heart breaking when he sniffled yet he hummed, acknowledging you. “Promise you will never forget me.”

Ollie pulled away, his tears running his pale cheeks, “How can I?”

You placed a hand on his cheek. Perhaps both of you were too young to understand how the universe worked but you knew your heart best, and down beneath all the doubt, you knew that it will always belong to Ollie.

Ollie leaned towards your palm, his eyes watching you. At 14, both of you felt the first heartbreak. And two days later, as he watched your parents drive you away from him, he cried like never before. The one thing that held him strong, and stopped all the thoughts in his head that called him useless, unwanted, a disgrace.

Ollie Hide, began to change. He lied in every text message he sent you, every video he sent you, he lied. He told you how sophomore year was amazing, and how many friends he had. He never once told you how they mocked him, the loner boy. The daddy’s boy from a weird dad.

He never once told you how he cried every night, and when he ended up in the hospital again due to stress. Rash, who noticed the symptoms, begged his father to check him in with a therapist. Ollie was silently begging to be seen again. His light was gone, you weren’t there to hold him, to distract him with your non stop rambles how the stars had a story.

You never doubted him. You never asked questions because you trusted him. He would never lie. However, Ollie from the good of his heart did not want to burden you. So he continued to lie, even when social media came for him and made him into a joke, he filmed videos of himself with a smile on his face.

You never doubted anything. But, Ollie… was not himself anymore. The longer the days went, the more his mental health declined. Rosa was gone, and it was as if every important person kept leaving him. His father deep lost in his work to avoid the issues at home never questioned him.

On the summer before Junior year, you had come back. You ran to his house and what you saw made you stop dead in your tracks. Ollie had grown out his hair, and what was his neutral, warm colored clothes, was now all in dark. His eyes had lost the shine, the spark that you had fallen for. In his eyes, he was dead, the eyebags were visible.

“Ollie?” you whispered, unsure.

He turned around slowly, refusing to believe you were there. There you stood, in your hands held a gift for him and you were beautiful. His eyes scanned you, his heart beating fast.

“Y/n?” Ollie questioned, his steps stumbling towards you before he ran towards you where he wrapped you into his arms. You began to sob as you tighten your hands around him.

“I’ve missed you.”

You laughed as tears rolled down your cheeks, “I have missed you doofus!”

“Yo! Ollie! Come on.”

You raised your head from his chest, noticing a boy standing a couple feet away. This boy gave your heart a tug, like a piercing sharp pain gutted you. He raised all the flags in your head.

Ollie swallowed, letting you go, he slightly smiled. You knew better, this smile was fake.

“I’ve gotta go, I’ll see you later?” Ollie asked, he was walking backwards, his eyes avoided yours now. You began to question his behavior, his appearance, where was the Ollie from a year and a half go?

You only nodded, your throat constricting. He left, his steps stomping on your confused heart. Something was wrong and you did not know what it was. Yet, you knew if there was something, Ollie would tell you. He never lied to you.

The summer ended, and you hardly saw him. There was always a different excuse, but you knew. Rob was always in the picture, and whatever he did, murdered the kind, pure heart your bestfriend carried.

“I don’t know why you can’t see it Ollie!” you screamed at him one afternoon after school. You only watched Ollie as he bit into his nail, his hand rubbing his neck in anxiety.

“See what? I don’t understand…” he spoke softly, igniting the fire you held inside. You were angry over the fact your bestfriend was changing and he himself could not see it.

You sighed annoyed, and you began to laugh in disbelief, “How?! How can you not see what’s going on?! You haven’t spoken to me all summer! You barely even acknowledge me!”

Ollie bit the inner skin of his cheek, his heart breaking. He couldn’t harm you, he couldn’t make you a target. He did not want the bullying to get to you just because you were his friend. You did not deserve that. You deserved more. You were more important than his needs. He needed you. He needed to tell you, to yell how much he loved you. How every letter, every photo you guys together he kept in a box where he could go through every night before bed and wonder what could be.

He did what he knew best, avoided the situation. “You know nothing Y/n. Please go home.”

You scoffed, shaking your head, disappointed, hurt and sadness swallowing your heart, you stepped away from him.

“You promised Ollie,” you reminded him. A tear finally slipping out your socket.

He looked down, he bounced on his feet, the anxiety eating him. He never once made eye contact, knowing that if he did, he would never let go.

“I’m keeping a promise,” he muttered, “So please, leave me alone.”

He turned and walked inside, leaving you outside with your second heartbreak and occuring non stop questions. Inside, Ollie slid down towards the floor, he began to sob. He was going to protect you with all he could. That was the promise he made to himself.

You never found out about the bullying Ollie suffered, and it was a shock. But, it also didn’t help that you avoided the shadowed boy. You stuck to yourself, ears plugged in as music blasted through them.

On a cloudy day, you went to your class. Natalia, who was a friend you met through Ollie two years ago, laughed about something funny she saw on a tv show. You feigned a laugh, your eyes scanning for a certain boy. Enough was enough.

You were going to snap some sense into Ollie, whether he liked it or not, but you were not going to lose him. As you settled in class, you forgot about Ollie, immersed into the debate your classmates were going through.

You pulled out your phone and sneakily, sent a message to the one that held your heart.

I am not letting go Ollie. Meet me after school by the treehouse.

As you and Ollie built your friendship, you built new places to hang out, and that included an abandoned tree house you found one day as you walked through the woods. Ollie, being the kindest boy offered to check it out first. Since then, the treehouse was your secret hide out.

You never received a response. You knew he had gotten it though and so you hoped, this was going to change his way of acting. Class was peaceful, of course not without Jack making loud comments about the lesson that had your teacher rolling her eyes every two seconds.

As you giggled over the comment your teacher said you heard a loud bang. Loud bangings. You jumped, your classmates became silent then. You couldn’t hear anything then. Until, yelling and scared chatters hit your ears. Something was happening.

Your teacher smiled as she kept the peace, “Alright guys, it’s probably nothing, stay here. Let me check it out.”

A ping had arrived to your phone then and as you pulled your phone to check the notification, you heard the sounds of glass shattering. You turned to look at Natalia who held the same expression you held — fear. This was a shooting.

Your teacher acted fast, she moved in a way you never seen her act before. She commanded the class to move underneath the desks, away from the windows that overlooked into the classroom. She shut the windows closed and had every single one of you quiet down.

You held onto Natalia’s hand, the fear reaching your ears as you began to hear the thumps of your heart. What felt like an eternity, you begged to be given a chance to see your family again, you did not want to die and not be given a opportunity to declare how much you loved Ollie Hide. You needed to tell him.

“We can run outside!” Jack whispered, panicked that no one was coming for them. Your teacher leaned against the door, watching over you all, her eyes trembling yet she never faltered.

“You stay there Jack! All of you!”

Jack began to mutter in fear, another round of bullets was heard. You began to go into a state of panic, your brain was beginning to go into a daze. Natalia hugged you, as she whispered something you did not understand.

All you could think of was Ollie. Was he okay? Did he make it outside? Did he survive? Is he hiding? As your brain wondered. Jack and your classmates ran outside, all of them swallowed by the fear of dying if they stayed in the classroom. Your teacher shouted, her voice was ignored.

“Stay here girls, please don’t leave until someone comes to get you. Promise me?”

“Don’t go!” Natalia shouted, “You can be killed!”

Your teacher who you admired, and you found to have been the kindest to help you out when you needed it, smiled. A tear slipped her eye, “I have to try and save as much as I can — stay here okay? I’ll be back, I promise.”

It was as if, promises were meant to break.

As you and Natalia hid underneath the piles of chairs and desks, you heard screams closer than usual and multiple shots. You knew better than to be hopeful. Your classmates, ones you were joking with earlier that day, some of them were never going to graduate high school. They will never be parents, or have a dream come true, they will never ever know the pain of loss, or the feeling of loving someone so hard they forget the world spins. They will never have a chance to live.

You released a shaky breath as you held onto your friend. Your brain going over a prayer. If you make it out alive you were going to punch Ollie in the face and kiss him. You will make every moment worth it.

As you say there, you heard the door open. You closed your eyes, leaning your head towards Natalia. If you were going to die, you will die recalling a memory you treasured the most.

“Ollie?” you whispered one night, your voice quiet as both of you hid under the house you built out of blankets. At a distance you heard David arguing with Rosa again.

Ollie swallowed, his breath coming out in shaky wisps.

“Yeah?”

“When we’re older, promise we will still be friends?”

Ollie smiled into the shadows of the dark, he pulled you close, his skinny hand ruffling your hair as he released a sad chuckle, “You will never get rid of me.”

When you heard nothing but the gasp of your friend, you opened your eyes. You recalled that promise, your heart breaking in tiny pieces as you faced the barrel of the gun. Your eyes met with a certain pair that never failed to make you feel flutters in your stomach.

As Ollie, your best friend, your first love, held the gun with tears in his eyes, you released the first sound since the first gun shot. A loud sob.

Ollie looked at you and then at Natalia. You were sobbing now, your hands covering your mouth as you took him in. Your funny, bright bestfriend who joked about the smallest things, and looked after everyone than himself.

The gun didn’t fit him, he wasn’t the shooter. You refused to believe that. Ollie squeezed his eyes and when he reopened them, he looked different. You did not know who he was.

“Clear?!” Rob screamed from across the hall. Ollie said nothing before he shouted back.

“Clear!”

You scrambled to reach him, Natalia held you back. Ollie looked back at you, his eyes dark, lost. He was warning you to stay back. You choked on a sob again as you watched him go, his white sneakers filled with blood. You catched a glimpse at Rob, covered in blood, who said something and left to go the opposite direction.

You refused Natalia’s hold, “I have to get him! It can’t be him Nat…”

“You’re gonna be killed if you go y/n! You can’t go.”

You cried, “I have to try, that’s my bestfriend Nat… I can’t loose him.”

Your feet moved on its own as you ran down the hall towards the staircase, your mind blocking the scattered bodies of your classmates, you refused to believe it was real. It was a dream, you kept repeating.

Your feet hurt as you ran, but you needed to save him. You needed to get to Ollie. As soon as your feet crossed the door to the staircase you heard sobbing, mutters that were in gibberish. You had found him.

“Ollie…” you whispered.

Ollie gasped as he stood up. He began to shake his head, his muttering becoming more unstable, you could not understand him. You stepped closer as he put out a hand, his other hand loosely held onto the shotgun.

“Please… Please save me.”

You cried as you stepped closer, another step closer to reaching him.

“Take it Y/n… please. I can’t…. I don’t… I’m scared. I can’t die…”

Ollie finally looked at you, his eyes filled to the brim with tears, your heart broke once again. Your bestfriend, your first love, lost in his pain.

“Give me the gun Ollie…”

As he was handing you the gun, you heard the rushed steps of feet running up the stairs. The fear you held began to boil again. Finding yourself locking eyes with Rob, who held nothing but anger in his eyes, you didn’t realize the panic Ollie’s eyes went through.

Rob wasted no time but to shoot, and you were too late to run behind the door. The bullet shot through your lower stomach. At first you felt as you fell into a large comforter, and then you saw a flash of white. What you felt next was something that left you wheezing in non stop pain, the bullet has implanted itself in you. Your life was slipping and you just felt regret.

You recalled every promise you made with Ollie. The moments you had with your parents, and your friends. The laughter you shared with them, the cries you gave even if it was over a silly thing. All these memories and emotions flew through, and as you laid on the floor, wheezing through the pain, your heart slowing down one beat at a time. Your hand reached over to Ollie’s. You couldn’t find him, just how you couldn’t find the pain he was going through.

Ollie fought with Rob, and he almost won, if it wasn’t for the rail that threw him over the staircase. He just had one thought, what could have been if only he spoke with honesty of what he was feeling.

As both of you laid in different parts, the life slipping away from your fingers. Your heart’s beated slowly together, as if it was reuniting one last time. And for a moment it did, because the moment you allowed the white cloud wrap around you, Ollie smiled as he felt the warmth of your laugh wrap around him.

The two teenagers were rushed to the hospital, Natalia cried as she ran with you both. She was not going to reveal what had happened. She couldn’t, she knew and believed Ollie was not evil but she also couldn’t hurt you.

As nurses and doctors rushed to work in bringing your hearts back to life, the teenagers that laid in different rooms felt the soul bond loosened. The nurses spoke in sadness how the hands laid loosely over the bed, as if they searched for each other.

As Rash, the doctor that bonded with Ollie more than anyone, worked on a CPR on Ollie, he watched with tears in his eyes how neither of you responded. The dead line on the screen mocking him. And finally, after minutes, the line curved slightly.

The doctors that worked with you, all screamed in relief as you also responded back to life. Rash knew, just as with how Ollie talked of you, both of you were soulmates. He knew that nothing, not even death was going to rip both of you apart.

You had gained another chance at life, and you knew you were going to make every second of it count.

Natalia who watched as one came to live, then the other, sobbed loudly. Her mother wrapped her into her arms. Natalia had decided then, she was never going to reveal Ollie as the one shooter and as another classmate that survived was alive and responding, he recalled of the horrors that happened.

He spoke of the shooters, how he saw one shoot through his friends with no remorse screaming how they deserved it, and the other, the quiet boy who shoved the extra bullets into his pockets and shot through the walls instead. His eyes blinking away the tears that fell.

As the sun peeked through the windows, a chance to recover the lost time. To fix what was broken, was edging you awake. You woke up groggy, moaning that the sun was too bright. As you rolled over you found the mop of curly hair by your side.

You got up confused, till you realized it was a dream you had. You believed in the signs, warnings, how the universe will warn you of these butterfly effects. Since you had come back to town, you noticed the changes that your best friend has been going through.

You knew then, what could happen, whether it’s death or not, be prevented. As you reached over and laid a hand on the pale cheek of your bestfriend who softly snored away, you made a new promise.

“I will guard you with my life, and I promise to show you life is worth living.”

ollie nation tag list: @hxtd @mckennah123 @cieraerickson8 @oroborosfeast

natties angels permanent list: @yohanseyebrowmole @mthrgs29

[vinyldreamsfuckup]

So High School

A: this was a random thing I came up with. I hope it’s cute

Warnings: fluff, drinking, smoking weed, smut, oral (female receiving), unprotected p in v, Kirk x fem

You and Kirk had been together since your sophomore year of high school. You were both the "weird" kids in high school. So when you got sat next to each other in third period history it almost felt like fate. You talked to each other nearly everyday since then. You always loved how much Kirk loved his comic books and horror movies. You could listen to him go on and on for hours and never get bored of him talking. You’d been in love with him since the moment you met him. When he joined Metallica you quickly became friends with all of the guys. You’d loved watching him play and being around him. There was simply just nothing better than being with him.

Though, one thing you never did was go to prom. It felt stupid and it seemed like a dumb thing to think about, but when you looked back at pictures from high school you’d always wished you had a picture in some stupid dress standing next to him. He knew this. He hated high school dances and didn’t really care, but he knew it was important to you, so when he surprised you with a “prom” at your old high school you were over the moon. It was just you, Kirk, James, Cliff, and Lars but it was going to be perfect regardless. Because you had him.

You wore a long, mint green, satin dress. It was a corset like dress that helped extenuate your body while still trying to look nice. There were laces up the back that showed your freshly tanned skin. Kirk wore a white shirt that was only halfway buttoned and black jeans with his black converse. He never cared for school dances in high school but he knew this was important to you and he wanted to do this to surprise you. So if you could only get jeans and a nice shirt then you’d take it. It being mostly unbuttoned was just a plus. You were standing in your backyard waiting for him to walk out with your corsage.

"You look beautiful," Kirk said as he walked out of the house. A smile spread across your face.

"Thank you, baby. You don't look too bad yourself," You giggled. Kirk chuckled and grabbed the corsage and wrapped it on your wrist. James and Lars giggled as they were snapping picture after picture as the two of you got ready. Kirk leaned in, his lips touching your ear.

"We should just ditch the whole thing. I can take you to the hotel and we can have a good time," Kirk whispered. You playfully hit his shoulder.

"Pose for the damn picture," You laughed out. He rolled his eyes and put his hand around your waist and looked at the camera. The two of you smiled taking a couple nice pictures before you both broke out into silly faces. Kirk ushered me to his car and we got in.

"You sure you wanna go to the dance and not just back to the hotel?" Kirk asked as he started the car. You laughed.

"I'm sure. Now lets go try to have a good time," You responded.

That's what the two of you did. You went and danced and ate some food. You both drank and smoked weed, getting undeniably high as fuck. You talked all night long, not even worrying about anything else. James, Lars, and Cliff all brought random girls to keep them company. They were all dressed up and getting shitfaced. You couldn’t help but smile at how sweet the whole thing was, but mostly you were just focused on Kirk and how happy he made you. You grabbed his hand and lead him out into the hallway and to your old locker. He pushed you against them just like he used to and connected your lips in a feverish kiss. The taste of weed and beer still on his you.

“Can we go back to the hotel now?” Kirk mumbled against your lips, his hand traveled up the strings of your dress, grazing the skin.

“Mhm…” You mumbled back with a nod. Kirk smiled and lifted you up bridal style before running back toward his car. You giggled as he ran.

You quickly arrived at the hotel and he lead you into the room and sat you on the edge of the bed. Your heart was full everything feeling so heightened. You two had sex all the time but for some reason this felt so much more intimate. He sat next to you on the bed and carefully undid the ties of your dress. He helped you out of it before pressing his lips to yours.

“You’re beautiful,” Kirk breathed out as he pushed you down on the bed. He trailed kisses down your chest and torso. His hands hooked around the lace of your thong before carefully pulling it off. A small groan left his lips as he stared at you, “so beautiful.”

He gently kissed down your thigh before settling between your legs. He licked between your folds groaning as he did so. Your hand tangled in his hair as a moan left your lips. He started to fuck you with his tongue, his thumb rolling against your clit.

“Fuck…Kirk…” You moaned out as your hand tangled into his hair. Kirk’s tongue quickly pumped in lapping up every last molecule. He groaned as he moved feeling you spasm beneath him.

“You’re so good,” Kirk mumbled, “So wet. So good.”

Your hips bucked against his tongue. He pressed your waist down on the bed and started to move his tongue quickly. His thumb spreading up against your clit. You were soon moaning out and finishing all over his tongue. He licked up your slick before standing up.

Your hands went to his shirt and quickly undid the rest of the buttons while he pulled himself out of his jeans. He was now standing in front of you naked, his dick standing tall and ready for you. He quickly pushed into you a loud moan leaving your lips as you adjusted.

“You’re so beautiful.” He groaned, “you’re so fucking wet.”

His hips started to rock and long moans left your mouth. Your hands gripped his back and your nails slowly raked down his back. He moaned out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He slowly picked up his pace ramming into you harder. He picked up your thigh and he lit by his stomach adjusting the angle. He fell in deeper hitting every spot perfectly.

“Kirk…oh my god,” you moaned out.

“That’s it, baby,” Kirk breathed out. He moved slightly faster.

“Don’t stop. That’s it. Yes…” you moaned out. He nodded and kept his pace ramming into you over and over. Your body started to shake and you loudly came, his name falling from your mouth

“Fuck…” Kirk groaned out. His hips still moving quickly chasing his orgasm. Your moans turned into loud whimpers as he kept going. Overstimulated and sensitive as he kept moving against you.

“Come on baby,” you whined. His head fell back and a loud moan left his mouth. He pulled out and came all over your stomach.

“Fuck…” Kirk said breathlessly. You nodded in agreement.

“Was this a good prom night?” Kirk chuckled out as he pulled away for a moment.

You nodded and smiled, “wouldn’t imagine it any other way, my love.”

[luvolani]

Synopsis- Choso

——————-

Warning(s) fluffy romantic elements. Reader discretion is advised due to fluff and angst and potentially triggering situations.

——————————

Y/N had always imagined prom as a magical night, full of laughter, music, and the kind of romance only found in fairy tales. For years, she had shared countless memories with Choso, her best friend, and the idea of attending prom together had been a dream she held close. When she finally mustered the courage to ask him, his shy, flustered acceptance was a moment she’d cherish forever. They had both blushed, awkwardly yet excitedly, and it felt as if everything was falling into place.

“So… uhm will you go with me?!” She said as she anxiously waited for his answer as she handed him the chocolates she bought for him.

Y/N felt confused as she heard him laugh before it turned into chuckles as she raised her head nervously seeing him smiling while blushing intensely, “Aw man! What a shame I was planning on asking you..” Y/N eyes widened silently as she looked at him.. he was planning on asking me?

“But of course I’ll go with you.. I wasn’t planning on going with anyone else” he said as Y/N smiled brightly before hugging him tightly as he chuckled once again before hugging her back, As there hug broke apart Y/N flusteredly started walking away yelling “I’ll! See you at school!” As Choso had a worried expression on his face as he shook his head before walking away not being able to shake off that stupid smile on his face.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

The day of prom arrived, and Y/N was a bundle of nerves and excitement. Her mother helped her prepare, brushing her hair with a loving touch. “You ready, mi chica?” she asked softly. Y/N looked at her reflection in the mirror, feeling a surge of confidence and beauty. She nodded, her heart racing as she was driven to the prom venue.

As soon as she arrived, Y/N sought out her best friend, Nobara. The gymnasium was decorated with sparkling lights and flowing fabric, creating an enchanting atmosphere. Spotting Nobara among the crowd, Y/N rushed over and enveloped her in a warm hug. “Hey, have you seen Choso?” she asked, her voice tinged with anxiety.

“No, not recently,” Nobara replied, her voice comforting. She gave Y/N a reassuring smile. “Don’t be nervous. I’m sure he’ll show up. Just have fun, okay?”

Y/N nodded, managing a small smile in return as Nobara and her date headed to the dance floor. Watching them, Y/N felt a pang of loneliness but tried to push it aside. She wandered to the refreshment table and thanked the chef before taking a drink. Sitting alone in a quiet corner, she kept glancing at the clock, her fingers gripping the glass tightly.

As the minutes ticked by, Y/N’s hope began to wane. The once-excited anticipation turned into a gnawing worry. Hours passed, and the vibrant energy of the prom seemed to blur around her. She watched couples dance, laughed, and enjoyed their evening, while she remained a silent observer. The initial excitement faded into a growing emptiness.

Suddenly, tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes. The weight of disappointment and loneliness became too heavy to bear. The smile she had maintained throughout the night crumbled, and she began to sob quietly, her shoulders shaking as she tried to hide her tears.

Choso had never shown up.

In that moment, the room felt unbearably large and full of the things she wished could have been different. The joyful chaos of the prom continued around her, but Y/N felt detached from it all. Her best friend, the one she had hoped would be by her side tonight, wasn’t. As she hugged herself feeling too many emotions as the night continued on..

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝓘’𝓶 𝓼𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮..𝓬𝓻𝔂𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂‧‧₊˚ ⋅ ‧

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Prom part 1: cbf!soap x f!reader

You had been on the phone with Johnny all day.

"I don't understand why I can't be there." He whined and you giggled as you finished your makeup.

"Because you'd get bored watching me get ready." You argued but he groaned.

"No I wouldn't!"

You shook your head with a smile. You knew he would've been bored but you were also more nervous and too excited to see him.

You wanted today to be about prom, nothing else, but when your mother had brought in the mail this morning you had been surprised by the acceptance letter into the university you wanted.

It took everything in you to not call him immediately. You wanted to tell him about it so he could help you get ready and maybe in hopes that he would also end up coming to the university as well, just like how you both had talked about before.

You’d tell him tomorrow or probably after prom tonight when the two of you got dinner.

“I’ll be done in thirty minutes-“

“Then I’m coming over now!”

He hung up before you could protest. You were halfway done with your hair when he showed up and you quickly had to yell out of the bathroom for him to wait.

“We’ll be late!”

“That’s a lie! We still have a while.”

Johnny groaned, not because he was worried about being late but because he really wanted to just be with you. He wanted to spend every last minute with you since he was going to be gone for months at the end of the week and before he told you he was leaving.

He knew it wouldn't go over too well, but he hoped that at the end of the day you'd want to just spend time with him too.

He could live with you being mad at him if it meant you were with him still.

He waited in your room, making sure that the suit he was wearing looked good enough while he went over telling you in his head. How he'd try to tell you softly...he just couldn't help but wonder why he'd have to be so secretive about it.

Shouldn't you be supportive? Shouldn't you want him to follow his dreams?

His thoughts were cut short when you walked into your room and suddenly nothing else mattered.

You were done up; your hair and makeup done perfectly to match your dress. You looked beautiful and he couldn’t find the words to say it as he stared at you.

“You look handsome.” You smiled at him and ran your fingers through his hair to fix it.

Johnny tensed up but then melted from your touch, leaning his head against your stomach before he wrapped his arms around your waist. He looked up at you with soft yet sad eyes that made you slightly worried.

Now it really sunk in that his time was limited with you.

“What’s wrong?”

“What if we just hung out tonight? Just the two of us?”

You frowned and stopped running your hand through his hair. Why did he want to change plans all of the sudden?

“We gotta go, you paid for the tickets.”

“I don’t care about that-“

“Johnny.”

John’s sighed deeply and shut his eyes. He hid his face in your stomach and squeezed you tightly.

“I love ya, you know?”

You stiffened but nodded. It wasn’t often the two of you said ‘I love you’ to each other because you both knew it without the words having to be said. But anytime either of you said it, it came from a place of friendships nothing else, something that made you wish it could be something more.

Your throat tightened and you swallowed hard.

“I know. I love you too.”

Johnny looked up at you and for a moment, both of you stared at each other with a sort of sadness hidden within your eyes that the other wasn’t sure where it came from.

The desire to take it away made both you and Johnny pause, the desire to say everything nearly pouring out of you both before you heard your mother call for you.

“You’ll be late and I want pictures!”

Johnny chuckled and you smiled. He gave you one last squeeze and you caressed his face quickly before the two of you broke apart.

“We can leave early.” You suggested and he beamed.

“Then we can get food out.”

A/n: didn’t plan on two parts but it would never get posted so here you go.

Tags: @elysian0612 @cassiecasluciluce @pepsicolacoochie @hayleybarnesx

[moistvonlipwig]

Eternity, Growing Up, and Why Buffy Keeps Dating Vampires

Vampires in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, on a most basic level, represent stagnation, a desire to stay young forever, the refusal to grow up. The show emphasizes this several times: in the show's very first episode, Buffy recognizes a vampire by his outdated outfit, and in 2.07 "Lie to Me," Ford claims that becoming a vampire will allow him to "die young and stay pretty," the dream of "every American teen." Buffy's role as the titular vampire slayer can thus be read as a metaphor for her choosing to grow up and become an adult in the face of temptations to do otherwise. So what does it mean, then, that Buffy's two most narratively significant love interests are vampires -- that she repeatedly, across seven seasons, courts eternal immaturity? I would argue that Buffy's relationships with Angel and Spike represent her inner struggle to accept the reality of growing up and getting older.

Buffy and Angel's relationship is marked by repeated references to the concept of "forever" or an eternal relationship: "When I look into the future, all I see is you" (2.12 "Bad Eggs"); "Love is forever" (2.19 "I Only Have Eyes For You"); "Forever. That's the whole point" (3.01 "Anne"); "You still my girl?" / "Always" (3.17 "Enemies"); Buffy's "Buffy & Angel 4ever!" doodle on her notebook (3.20 "The Prom"); "How's forever? Does forever work for you?" (5.17 "Forever"). At first glance, this may appear to be a romantic cliche, but taken in context of what vampires represent, the motif takes on new meaning. To be eternal is to be like a vampire -- to stagnate, to never change or grow or mature. Indeed, Angel's final line on the entire show, in his and Buffy's last scene together, is, "I ain't getting any older" (7.22 "Chosen"). In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, immortality is synonymous with immaturity. To want a "forever" relationship, then, is to want to never grow up.

(This idea is revisited in the Angel episode 2.13 "Happy Anniversary," a disturbing tale about a man who responds to his impending breakup with his girlfriend Denise by attempting to freeze them both in time mid-coitus forever. Lorne's response -- "I can hold a note forever. But eventually that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after, and the one after that. That's what makes it music." -- is a perfect summation of the Buffyverse's stance on the concept of eternity. To last "forever" is not romantic or beautiful; it is simply to be in stasis.)

Buffy and Angel's relationship is also frequently associated with death, and Buffy's death in particular: "When you kiss me, I wanna die" (2.05 "Reptile Boy"); kissing against a gravestone reading "In Loving Memory" ("Bad Eggs"); Angel's dream of Buffy bursting into flames in the sunlight like a vampire after marrying him ("The Prom"). The implication is that, if Buffy stays in the relationship, it will metaphorically kill her, cut off her future, freeze her in this moment of teenage love until the end of time, like the first episode's vampire whose fashion sense was stuck in the past or, indeed, like the fate that almost befell poor Denise. To borrow a metaphor from Revolutionary Girl Utena (another show very concerned with the dichotomy of eternity vs. growing up), Angel and Buffy's relationship is their coffin. They can choose to stay trapped in it forever, to never grow or change, and thus to metaphorically die; or they can choose to leave, to grow and change and mature, to gain "the power to imagine the future" (Ikuhara Kunihiko, Utena DVD commentary), where before they could only imagine each other.

It's no coincidence that the second season's finale, an episode all about "becoming," about growing up and maturing, is when Buffy finally finds the strength to kill Angel in order to save the world. In doing so, she rejects her desire to stay young forever, trapped in her coffin with Angel for all of eternity, and chooses to continue to grow up instead. But, of course, growing up is never quite so simple; Angel comes back, and Buffy falls back into her relationship with him, falls back into her desire to pretend the events of the second season never happened and she is still the same young girl who never lost her "innocence" at his hands. Even when we consciously choose to grow up, it is all too easy to seek comfort in the idea that maybe, if we try hard enough, we won't have to. In the end, it is Angel who recognizes the harm their relationship is doing to Buffy, and he departs, taking Buffy's childhood with him. Her youth leaves her, as it leaves us all, whether she wants it to or not.

But Angel is not the last vampire she has a relationship with. In the show's sixth season, Buffy emerges from her literal coffin only to climb right back into a metaphorical one. In the time since she said goodbye to Angel, Buffy has attended college, had to drop out of college, had another romantic relationship fail, lost her mother, essentially become a parent to her newly-acquired sister, died through suicidal self-sacrifice, and been resurrected only to find that she is still just as depressed as she was before dying and is now swamped with bills she cannot pay. Her problems are firmly in the realm of adulthood, and at many points throughout the first half of the season, she longs for the grave she left instead of the life she has: "I was happy. [...] I think I was in heaven. [...] This is hell" (6.03 "After Life"); "There was no pain / no fear, no doubt / 'til they pulled me out / of heaven" (6.07 "Once More, with Feeling").

It is at this point that she begins a sexual relationship with Spike, her second dalliance with eternal immaturity. Buffy and Spike's relationship is also marked by references to death, with an emphasis this time on graves: Spike notices and verbalizes the shared experience they have of clawing their way out of their graves ("After Life"); Spike and Buffy fall into a grave together during Spike's song, during which he beseeches her to "let [him] rest in peace" ("Once More, with Feeling"); several of their sexual encounters literally occur inside the crypt Spike lives in; this crypt is brought into focus especially in 6.13 "Dead Things," in which Buffy and Spike place their hands on either side of its door, separated by her status as living and his as dead. Buffy additionally uses Spike as a proxy to call herself "dead inside" ("Dead Things"). Buffy may have literally risen from the dead, but in a metaphorical sense, she is still trapped in her coffin, unwilling to leave it.

There are, of course, multiple layers to the grave and coffin motif in Buffy the Vampire Slayer's sixth season. But I would argue that one such layer is that it serves as an extension of the death metaphor from Buffy and Angel's relationship, in which death signified Buffy never growing up. In this reading, Buffy's longing for the "heaven" granted to her by the grave is really a longing for the innocence of youth, now lost to her as she must continue to grow up. In Buffy's confession to Spike in "After Life" about where she was in death, she makes particular note of how "time didn't mean anything" in the place she labels "heaven," whereas in the real world, it's hellish "just getting through the next moment, and the one after that." Unlike Lorne, who saw beauty in the progression of time, Buffy sees only suffering, and longs for a time in her life when time itself seemed not to march forward at all.

It is no wonder, then, that she seeks comfort in someone who is frozen in time, who can never grow up. If Buffy's relationship with Angel represented her childhood desire to stay young forever and never face the hardships of adulthood, her relationship with Spike represents her adulthood desire to return to that period of youth and never leave it, to curl up in her coffin and close the lid. But unlike Buffy and Angel's relationship, which is littered with references to eternity, Buffy repeatedly insists on the temporary nature of her dalliance with Spike: "What we did is done. But I will never kiss you, Spike. Never touch you, ever, ever again" (6.08 "Tabula Rasa"); "Not gonna happen. Last night was the end of this freak show" (6.10 "Wrecked"). Buffy is furious with Spike for his hold over her and hates herself for wanting him, but returns to him again and again. She believes she shouldn't want to return to her unattainable youth, she knows she should accept her adult life and face its difficulties head-on, yet when confronted with its difficulties, she repeatedly goes to Spike to escape them, as in 6.11 "Gone," 6.12 "Doublemeat Palace," and 6.15 "As You Were."

If Angel represents Buffy's youth and Spike her nostalgia for that youth, then of course it follows that Angel must leave Buffy, but Buffy must leave Spike. Nostalgia, unlike youth, does not depart from us so easily. But she does leave him, and in the sixth season's finale, she finally crawls out of the grave she's been trapped in, represented by her leading her sister out of a literal grave and smiling at the world before her. As Buffy tells Dawn: "Things have really sucked lately, but it's all gonna change. And I wanna be there when it does. [...] And I want to see you grow up" (6.22 "Grave"). Change, the inevitable forward march of time, the reality of growing up -- these things no longer strike Buffy as hellish, but rather beautiful. She is an adult, and she is living in this ever-changing world, and she embraces that reality fully, leaving the coffin of youth behind for good.

What to make, then, of Buffy's relationship with Spike in the show's seventh season? I would argue that her evolving feelings towards Spike in the final season represent her reconciling with and forgiving her past self, the Buffy that didn't want to grow up, before finally letting that part of her go. She comes to recognize that Spike, like her past self, was capable of change, eternally immature though he may seem. She forgives herself for wanting him. When he offers to leave, she tells him she is "not ready for [him] to not be here" (7.14 "First Date"). She has already chosen to embrace and accept her adulthood, and she no longer resents her desire to return to childhood, but she still needs her inner eternal child with her.

It is in the very last episode of the series that she lets go, demonstrating her full-hearted and joyful acceptance of ephemerality in the process. Buffy has not told a romantic partner she loves them since Angel, although she told Angel she loved Riley in Angel 1.19 "Sanctuary," and from episodes like 4.03 "The Harsh Light of Day," it is clear how much the unexpected transience of her supposed-to-be-forever relationship with Angel has haunted her. But in 7.22 "Chosen," Buffy tells Spike she loves him in a moment when she knows for sure that his death is imminent and that their joint existence together is temporary. She no longer fears a love that is not eternal. Through Spike, she expresses her love for her past self and for the part of her that never quite grew up, and then she lets that part die with him, and with Sunnydale itself, the place where she spent her adolescence, another representation of the grave that was her dream of forever childhood. Despite this destruction and loss, Buffy only smiles in its face, and it is this smile we leave her on. She has grown up, she has forgiven herself for not wanting to grow up, she has let go of the last remnants of the childhood she once hoped would be eternal, and she has come to not only accept the ephemeral, ever-changing nature of life, but to meet it with love and joy. "The power to imagine the future" is hers to wield. And her smile tells us that she is finally ready to wield it.

[lovesuhng]

love

fluff, friends to lovers

Johnny was on his way to your apartment after receiving a message from you saying that wanted to show him something and couldn't wait until the next day.

You two had been friends for a long time, neither of you even remembered when the friendship had started. You had gone through a lot together, always present in each other's lives during the most important moments.

It was you that Johnny invited to the prom. It was Johnny who supported you when a boy at school broke your heart. It was you Johnny took for a ride in his dad's car when he first learned to drive. It was Johnny who was the first person to know when you got into the university you had always dreamed of. All of these moments showed just how close you both were.

After being greeted by your roommate, Johnny headed toward your room, entering as soon as you shouted, "Come in, the door's open."

"What did you want so ba—" Johnny stopped talking when he saw you. He couldn’t finish his sentence, stunned by your beauty. You were wearing a short red dress with small flowers on it, your face had light makeup, making you look even more gorgeous. To top it off, you wore a necklace with a small sunflower charm, a gift from Johnny himself. You were… beautiful, radiant. That was enough to make Johnny's heart beat a little faster.

“Good thing you’re here.” You jumped into your friend's arms. “Oh Johnny, I know I look amazing, but close your mouth because you're already drooling."

"Ha, you’re dreaming if you think I’m drooling over you." Johnny cleared his throat, trying to hide his nervousness. "Alright, tell me what you wanted to show me so badly."

"SURPRISE!" You turned your back to Johnny, intending to show off your new tattoo, but all he noticed was how much of your back was exposed due to the cut of your dress. "What do you think?"

"Huh?" The man seemed to snap out of a trance at your sudden question.

"The tattoo, Johnny, what do you think?"

That’s when he finally noticed the flowers near your shoulder, along with a small olive branch, similar to the one he had on his left shoulder. He knew you had always wanted a matching friendship tattoo, but he hadn’t thought you’d actually go through with it.

His heart raced again.

“It looks incredible!”

“Do you think Jaehyun will like it?”

“Huh? Jaehyun? Why are you asking that?”

“Because I’m going on a date with him in a bit.”

Johnny felt something he had felt before but never wanted to admit. Before, his heart would race just from seeing you, but now he felt a tightness in his chest, as if the mere thought of seeing you with someone else caused this. That was it. Johnny was jealous. You noticed Johnny was lost in thought. You touched his arm and asked, “Is something wrong? You’re acting so strange today…”

“You’re not going.”

You found your friend’s behavior odd. “What?”

“You’re not going on that date,” he repeated, looking into your eyes. You crossed your arms, waiting for an explanation.

“Why are you acting like this, John?”

“I don’t know, I just… don’t want you near him…”

You laughed a little, leaving Johnny confused. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re jealous?”

“Yes, I’m insanely jealous.” His honesty surprised you.

“Are you serious, John?” He only nodded. “But why?”

Johnny ran a hand through his hair, took a deep breath, clearly nervous. Even he didn’t know the answer to that question, or maybe he just didn’t want to admit it.

“I wish I knew how to answer that, but honestly, I don’t. Maybe I’m…”

“…Falling for me?”

That was it. It seemed confusing, but maybe Johnny was falling for you more than he should.

“Maybe.” A bit calmer, Johnny looked directly at you and finally opened up about everything he was feeling. “Every time I’m around you, I get this warm, fuzzy feeling in my stomach and in my heart. It’s like your presence alone brings peace and the certainty that everything’s going to be alright, you know? It’s kinda crazy, but I always want you close, want to keep hugging you, touching you, and especially making you smile, because that makes you even more beautiful than you already are. So, if this is what it’s like to like someone, then I guess I like you, __. Too bad I took so long to realize it.”

You were speechless.

Johnny’s confession had reignited a feeling that had been locked away in your heart for a long time. The truth was, your date with Jaehyun was an attempt to move on and forget your true feelings for your best friend. But it seemed those feelings had never really left your heart.

“I should go, we can talk later…” Johnny turned, ready to leave, thinking he had just made a huge mistake.

“No Johnny, wait!” You interrupted, grabbing his hand and making him turn back toward you. “I know things must be really confusing in your little head, but if you want, I can help you figure it all out.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

You didn’t answer, instead you stood on your tiptoes and gave him a long, soft kiss. If Johnny’s heart was already racing, now it felt like every carnival drum in the world was beating inside his chest. You felt the same, after all, this moment was like a dream come true. When the kiss broke, you felt Johnny leaning in for more and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I guess that means… I like you too, John.”

You were still holding hands and Johnny pulled you closer, placing his hand on your back, making you shiver at his touch. Then, it was his turn to kiss you, with intensity, making you completely lose yourself in the sensation of him.

You pulled apart to catch your breath, but kept your foreheads together, locked in a deep gaze. “Still going on that date with Jaehyun?”

You shook your head, pouting. “I’ll explain to him that something urgent came up, but now…” A mischievous smile appeared on your lips. Johnny noticed. You took advantage of the fact that he was close to your bed and gently pushed him onto it. He sat, and you immediately climbed into his lap, his large hands wrapping around your waist. Leaning in, you whispered, “…I want to give you the kisses I’ve been saving all these years.”

With a huge smile, Johnny pulled you into a slow, passionate kiss, filled with a feeling that, even if he didn’t quite understand it yet, he was sure you were the only person who could make him feel this way.

Maybe this feeling was called… love.