#the prom scenes also made me find a picture of me and my best friend at our year 9 grad

[unamused-kookaburra]

I wasn't expecting lady bird to get to me as much as it did and now I'm just sitting here like

[ambrossart]

Hi, I know I've said it a lot of times, but I really love your writing. It seems like watching a movie because while reading I can actually picture it in my head.

I wanted to ask you how you plan your characters or stories. I mean, do you immediately get an idea and start working on it or you have to think and rethink about it until you find the right inspiration?

like you mentioned in a previous ask about how you created Vic, and you said you were flexible because he wasn't really described in the novel, but still he had to fit in some image. But what about implementing new characters to an existing universe? I'm thinking about dwm reader, Scottie, Evelyn, Hannah-Beth etc, they all feel like they belong there and I'm wondering how you decided to create them the way they are.

Also, if I think about DWM everything is falling into the right place and when I read a knew part of the story I'm like "oh this was hinted chapters ago" and I think it really is amazing or also the little references here and there, I think it shows how much effort you put in that story. And..I'm curious to know...are the reader and Jason actually friends? He had some kind gestures towards her, but were they out of kindness or because she is his girlfriend's bff?

Regarding the future fics... I'm kinda loving all of your ideas, I'm looking forward to read the one where he gets jealous, or when she gets high because I strongly believe it's going to be hilarious and super cute, and you know everything involving Scottie or Gareth and the other guys.

I always write too much, so I get it if you want to skip this one 😂

Hi! First of all, I would never skip one of your asks (or anyone else's for that matter). If someone takes the time to write me a question, they deserve a well-thought-out response. Always.

Anyway, regarding how I approach my stories, I usually get an idea (or a random scene pops into my head) and I build off that one idea. With DWM, for instance, it was the image of Eddie hanging out in the bathroom with a girl at prom, and I just built the rest of the story around that. "Who is this girl?" "Why is she here?" "Why is Eddie here?" etc. I always have a general outline before I start writing, but it's not rigid because I always come up with new ideas and directions for the story as I write. For example, I was always planning on having the reader have a little crush on Eddie, but it wasn't supposed to be as deep as it ended up being (certainly not one she was harboring for 6 years 😂). That changed while I was writing Pt. 3 and then by Pt. 4, I had their relationship and history completely figured out, and that ultimately changed the entire direction of the story.

I have a similar approach to characters. With DWM, I knew instantly that I wanted the reader to be Chrissy's best friend who's kinda stuck living in her shadow. I think she plays up her sarcastic, snarky persona in an attempt to stand out from Chrissy. She wants to be the sour to Chrissy's sweet; otherwise, she would be even more invisible than she already is. I also gave her a lot of my own qualities and flaws, and most of her personal anecdotes are taken directly from my life. Yeah, DWM is completely self-indulgent. I basically created a fictionalized version of myself and had her date Eddie, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

With Paper Men, most of those characters were born out of necessity. I needed a main character to guide us through the story, and Richie already had a sister (who doesn't appear) in the movie, so that was an easy starting point. I just created my vision of his sister, taking a lot of his qualities and twisting them around to suit her. Since I decided to make Evelyn a very friendly and outgoing person, I needed to give her friends, so I made Hannah, the shy Christian girl who's obsessed with trashy romance novels and lives vicariously through Evelyn (I love her so much), and Paul, the professional slacker who's always sabotaging her grand plans with his laziness. Because most of the story takes place at school and Evelyn is so involved in school, I needed the school to feel real, so I created a bunch of students to populate it. Gradually, a lot of them developed their own unique identities, and I let them go crazy.

Another thing I like to do is create a lot of shared history between the characters. I think that's an easy way to make all the characters feel like they exist in the same world. That's why both DWM and Paper Men make so many references to the past.

Speaking of references, I'm glad you appreciate all my foreshadowing and callbacks to earlier stories/scenes in DWM because that's one of my favorite things to do when I write. Whenever I'm working on a new story, I always try to think about how it relates to what's already happened and how it will affect future works. For instance, the most recent fic "Out of the Loop" has set the foundation for a lot of future fics. The reader is definitely going to find out about Claire Dunnock, the girl who Eddie absolutely slept with 😬. Claire said she had a class with Eddie last year, well... guess who else was in that class? The reader and she saw them flirting. I don't have it on the list, but it'll be a story. The reader has already expressed discomfort about Eddie's previous sexual experiences, and this will only make that worse.

Finally moving on!

To speak about Jason and the reader's relationship. They are truly friends and not just because of Chrissy (although that is a huge factor). They've known each other since elementary school. They weren't "hang out outside of school" friends, but they were friends. I've mentioned this before, but the reader used to have a crush on Jason back in elementary school, but once she found out he liked Chrissy, she had to let that crush go. She can't compete with Chrissy. Nobody would ever choose her over Chrissy. So she had no choice but to step back and surrender. She doesn't have romantic feelings for him anymore, but she still admires his good qualities (and Jason does have really great qualities). That being said, Jason does truly care about her as a person, which is why he bought her a corsage and danced with her at prom. It wasn't just because he felt sorry for her or because he felt obligated to do it. He genuinely cares about her, and he thinks she can do a lot better than Eddie.

Lastly, regarding future fics, the one where the reader finally gets to high school is going to be funny (because Scottie's in it and he knows that Eddie has been pining for the reader for the last two years) but it's also going to be really sad. They're both so excited to see each other and are secretly hoping to jump back into their friendship again, but as we know from the main story, that doesn't happen. They don't talk to each other. Nobody apologizes. They just fall into their expected roles and go back to being strangers. It's almost as if that summer never even happened. It's really sad and Eddie takes it very hard.

Holy crap, I wrote too much. Gold star to anyone who finished this! ⭐️

[winderlylandchime]

*points to tv* ‘look its Justin and Brian. Dude, it’s early morning and he’s going to the baths? LOOK AT THEM KISSING GOODBYE! Did you see that cute shit! Adorable. Oh Brian..you can find hotter places to fuck at than this dump..JEN! THATS MY BABY JEN! WHAT IS GOING ON? this is his office? FINALLY I AM GETTING MY BUDDY EPISODE! Aw he took a picture of Jen, why the fuck didn’t it show it? I wanna see my girl! My two favorite people being best friends! I am so happy!’ ‘Ted IS A SINGER! Oh as a waiter? *smacks his chest with his fist* respect! Been there, done that, tough shit. *pauses tv and looks at me* Did you know when i first started as a waiter, i didnt know what cappuccino is made of so when people ordered it, i told them we ran out of it. I got fired 4 days later’ ‘i feel bad for Emmett. I get they want to support him but Emy also needs support. Damn it this is bad. But i also *takes a deep breath* feel bad for Mike.’ ‘AWWW Vic and Rodney are gonna live together! Finally Vic gets something more in his life than just hiv and sister. GOOD FOR YOU VICKY BOY! LIVE THAT LONG HAPPY LIFE BABY!’ ‘How in the holy hell, did they convince Brian to go to this restaurant. Id get if Justin was there but he isnt, so HOW? Oh he came along to laugh. Okay, makes sense’ the scene where Pink Posse walks down the street is up and he paused the tv and started laughing. I did not expect him to have these reactions. ‘They look like a gay boyband. Backstreet Gays. Look at them on their way to fight people with their pink shirts. I am trying so hard to be chill with this but what is this? They look like a low budget cult. (The car/fight scene happens) Justin.. violence for violence is not cute. Nothing about this is cute. I am trying to get it cause of prom but WHY IS THIS HAPPENING NOW?’ ‘Look at Brian once again waiting for him. Is he late? A vigilante with a curfew. Thats new. Soooo he’s now hopped up on adrenaline ready to fuck. Cool cool cool. Look how fast Brian’s plans can change when it involves Justin. Or sex. But Brian when youre done, we need to talk to Buzz lightyear about his dangerous activities’ ‘WHY IS MIKE BEING A BITCH TO BLAKE?! He is a sweet guy who hasn’t done shit wrong. Be nice to him!’ ‘Im glad theyre finally giving Vic some fucking story line. Sometimes it felt like they forgot he was there *turns to me all serious* which one am I, Deb or Vic?’ The Britin scene comes up ‘YOURE TELLING ME FOR ONCE THEYRE NOT SHOWERING TOGETHER? see! Brian is worried, scared and annoyed at this pink pussy movement. And so am I! Now come on Brian, go and yell at Cody, like only you can. Why is Justin being so angry at Brian? Since when is he so angry? Brian! Do something!‘ ‘oh Brian is not having Emmetts shit. Look at him being a friend. *pauses tv* i really like this Brian. Something feels different, i fuck with it. he is full of advices lately!’ And we are back to Justin and Cody and he just groaned loudly and slid on the floor from the coach ‘this zack and cody spin off needs to end. Blondie is being forced to be angry and have a horrible haircut. Unless if they give me Brian yelling at this wannabe Captain America, make it stop. Justin he is literally telling you he wants to search for fights, why is my blondie so dumb at times?- damn I actually really feel bad for Mike in this episode, that is a first.’ The scene with Cody and Justin at the restaurant or whatever is up ‘what the fuck is this bullshit? JUSTIN WE HAVE A RULE! WHY THE FUCK IS HE BREAKING A RULE IN EVERY FUCKING SEASON?! DUDE- what..Justin for fucks sake walk away from this shit, at what point will you realize youre in too deep? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA ENDING WAS THAT?!’ *gets up and grabs his cigarettes* ‘great now Brian isn’t the only one stressed, worried and annoyed’ He is now outside walking up and down and talking to our mom all angry about how Justin is risking his life and being an idiot and then he just randomly went ‘but at least brian is looking really good this season. I feel like this might be his season where he finally thrives’ …safe to say he is wrong.

Brian really does look so good in the bathhouse scene. Also let's note Justin being happy to leave Brian there - this is not a kid who suddenly wants monogamy and marriage a year later, okay?

GOOD FOR YOU VICKY BOY! LIVE THAT LONG HAPPY LIFE BABY!

Oh Anon, oh dear sweet anon.... you're going to need to get some tissues for your brother.

That shower scene is so good. Brian is worried and pissed. He didn't scrap Justin off the parking garage floor just for him to risk his life being stupid.

i really like this Brian. Something feels different, i fuck with it. he is full of advices lately! CHARACTER GROWTH!

‘but at least brian is looking really good this season. I feel like this might be his season where he finally thrives’ …safe to say he is wrong. I mean he does look good the whole season, but yeah there's that whole cancer thing... Poor brother.

[hongjoongtrasher]

the beauty and the beast (chapter 1)

word count: 2k461

angst

series masterlist

Synopsis:

When you move to a new city due to your father's job, you don't expect to stay for a long and so decided not to get attached to the world around you.

But still, you are "the new girl", unwillingly attracting people's attention because of your family's background. Your strict father expects a lot from you, not to say perfection. And when you are sit next to a certain Jung Yunho, you didn't expect your life to take a radical turn

You don’t even remember when you stayed more than a year in the same city. It probably started around the age of 3, when your father got his promotion he wanted for so long. That’s how your family used to move every year, or even shorter than this. You don’t remember having a childhood friend, and worst, have you ever had friends ?

The unfamiliar view of the busy city at your window made you remember that once again, you had to unpack the few items you owned. You quickly discovered it was more a burden to drag along unnecessary things that would later be a pain in the ass to unpack and pack forever. Only school books, clothes and some other accessories were keeping you company in this new room. So impersonal, cold. But it would stay this way, since you knew you’d probably move on again in few months. While tidying your room, you heard a knock on your door, making you look at it to see your father.

« Y/N ? Can we talk for a bit ? » he asked, a poker face on.

« Yes father. »

Father. From the moment you could speak, he always told you to call him father. No dad, or affectionate pet names. It was just showing the gap that have been created so far between you both. Your mom ? You don’t even remember her face. You learnt from your grand-mother a long time ago that your parents got divorced when you were just a newborn. The reasons to this separation are staying difficult to know, but your father never talked about her in your presence. You always thought that somehow she didn’t want you, that was probably the best reason you could thought due to the lack of her tries to contact you for 17 years. So instead of a mom, you grew up with a nanny who was still living with you and your father. She was a sweet and caring person, always making sure you weren’t lacking anything. You owed her a lot, knowing she was the one who was basically raising you up, of course with the directions of your father.

You soon arrived in the large living room, as impersonal as the rest of the luxurious apartment your father got from his work. It was neutral as possible, but still anybody could notice the taste for luxury he acquired with the time. Trophies, some modern canvas you couldn’t even interpret, a large TV with home cinema etc. Your father was sitting in his black leather armchair, in his usual white shirt and black suit. And you just sat down on the white sofa, waiting patiently for him to start.

« I got you a place in a school from a friend of mine. » he began, and you felt your body being rigid.

Studies were his obsession when it comes to you. You always had to be first, having the best grades, the best in every field you could reach. That was probably also the main reason of why you never got close friends. Because you were « Miss Perfect Brain » and the only child from a wealthy family, most of people thought you were just like one of those entitled kids who would think they are the one ruling in this world. But you were not. Actually, you never wanted any of those thing. How many times you wanted to go to clubs after class ? Just hanging out with kids from your age, sharing hobbies etc…But you never could because your father would always send you to study classes after your school schedules.

« The school ranking is pretty good, so I think you are able to reach 1st place right ? » he continued, his cold glare piercing your body, making you tighten your fists on your knees.

It would be a disaster for you to be 2nd. Actually not really for you, but for your father. With him, it was first or nothing, and nothing would results as punishment for you. Even since elementary school, he would force you to copy the mistakes you’d done until 2 in the morning, « to make you remember not to do the same mistakes again ». Sometimes depriving you from eating until you would perfectly recite the lesson. As a child, you had spent nights crying in your pillow, hating your father for being so mean to you, and today, you just gave up. As long as you were doing as told, everything would be fine, right ?

You nodded as an answer, finding the courage to finally look at his strict face.

« Y/N, this year is going to be a decisional one for you. After graduation, you’ll go to Korea University and study international business. Don’t deceive me » he announced, making you gulp at the end of his sentence.

Of course it wasn’t what you wanted. But what did you want in the first place ? You didn’t know. You couldn’t find any perspectives for yourself. And of course, you didn’t have a word to say.

« Yes Father… »

And without adding any words, he stood up and left for his office, leaving you alone in the living room. You wanted to cry, to yell how unfair it was for letting someone decide for yourself. You throat was dry and your fists were trembling from madness until you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder. It was Sookja, your nanny and the housekeeper. She probably heard the whole conversation, and was knowing perfectly how you felt at this moment.

« This is so unfair… » you mumbled into your breath, trying to hold back your tears of pure rage.

« I know sweetie… » the old woman sighed. « Maybe he will let you do what you want later » she tried to soften your mood, but it was already ruined.

You sighed and stood up, just shrugging to join your bedroom again, head dipping first into your pillow. You didn’t feel like unpacking, so you just stayed in your bed, until your nanny came to inform you dinner was ready. As usual, you were eating alone. Your father never ate with you, because of his schedules. How funny it was to see that even on your birthday he would be absent, justifying himself to be busy but that he would « make it up for the next year ». Weariness eventually took over sadness. This was your daily life, and you didn’t expect it to change now…Unless.

It was your first day at your new high school. You were so nervous that you had barely eaten on the morning. You were apprehending people. Of course you were used to see new faces all the time, but this time was different. You were arriving in the middle of the first semester in a school where everyone from your prom was knowing each other’s, and to crowned everything, your father was accompanying you this morning to greet his friend, the principal for this year. The more the black Audi was entering the school yard, the more you wanted to become a mouse. You hated so much those looks of curiosity, or full of judgment. Your father intimated you to get off the car, which you did, looking at the floor while the Principal was waiting at the main entrance. You didn’t hear the following conversation, your heart beating too fast and in your ear. Some students stopped to watch the scene, and some of them at the windows were taking pictures. How embarrassing. Little did you know a group of boys were also watching from the first floor.

« Heh, is this the new girl everyone’s talking about ? » hummed a blonde boy, his chin in the palm of his hand while he was leaning on the window sill.

« Seems like it » answered a tall boy, a lollipop in his mouth. « Dude, she looks hot »

« Mingi, you even haven’t seen her face yet » groaned the little blonde again.

Mingi shrugged and said. « Hongjoong, she’s rich, so she’s hot »

« You’re an idiot » sighed the said Hongjoong, rolling his eyes in exasperation. « What d'you think Yunho ? »

Yunho stayed silent during the whole conversation, hands in his pockets as he was watching the scenery before scoffing. « She’s just a little rich bitch » he mumbled before turning from this, going to his classroom.

You had to stay at the professor’s room, so that the Principal could introduce you to your homeroom teacher. Strangely enough, all the teachers seemed too nice. Of course they were. The shadow of your father must be planning around. « Let’s go introducing you to your new comrade » said your teacher enthusiastically which made you forced a smile. You silently followed him to the door where he made a sign for you to wait. Your heart was about to explode, as you could hear the sounds for chairs and people chatting in the classroom. You didn’t know how much you waited in this hallway, but your teacher appeared again, calling your name. You jumped a little, not expecting this time to come…so quickly. Gulping again, you slowly passed the door to present you in front of everyone, your eyes scanning the room. « Can you please introduce you ? » Asked your teacher, everyone’s waiting to hear the sound of your voice for the first time. You really wanted to run away and never come back, but you couldn’t. Your father would definitely kill you.

« H-hi, my name is Y/N, nice to meet you » you said, quite unsure of yourself.

Some kids applauded, which made you blush from embarrassment.

« Alright, Y/N you can go sit next to Yunho there » said your teacher, pointing at the front row at the very left of the room, not to say the corner.

Your eyes landed for the first time on the boy called Yunho. His black wavy hair were hiding his forehead and also his eyes, but you could definitely feel he was glaring at you. Not staring, but glaring as if you did something wrong. But what could you have done wrong ? Was sitting next to him a crime ? You awkwardly sat down next to him, feeling the cold tension radiating from the silent boy next to you. At some point, you really felt uncomfortable, to the point you didn’t dare looking at him a single time. You tried your best to focus on the class, nervously holding your pen. Surprisingly, the first two hours of class went by fast, but you still haven’t talked with Yunho, and he seemed not trying to neither. When the bell ranged, announcing the first break of the day, you gathered your things before you heard his deep voice for the first time.

« Move. » he ordered in an annoyed tone, his tall figure dominating your frail one.

Your heart stopped beating for a second, suddenly scared. He seemed mad at you for God knew which reason, but you quickly moved to let him pass, looking at your feet while you could hear a « Tsch… » from him.

What the hell was happening ? Why this boy was hating you from the start ? You took your phone and went to the girls toilet, to regain composure, but still, you felt a dark aura from him. While you were thinking about this, you heard girls gossiping outside the cabinet you were occupying.

« Did you see that ? She is next to Yunho ! »

« The poor girl, I bet she won’t stay next to him for a long time » said another girl, in a mocking way.

« She doesn’t know he’s a total douchebag tho. »

« Hey ! He’s still hot. But yeah, a douchebag »

And they laughed before exiting the place. What does this mean ? You began to get really worried about this Yunho. He seemed to be a bad guy, but was he really ? You inhaled deeply again before going back to your classroom, expecting to see Yunho again, but he wasn’t here anymore.

Class started again, and you couldn’t help but wonder where Yunho went and why he left. Your new Korean literature teacher didn’t seem surprised when doing roll call. « Ditching classes again huh ? » he mumbled before going on.

At lunch time, you searched for a place to eat alone. You didn’t feel like going to the cafeteria or stayed in class to eat, so you went to the rooftop, surprisingly empty. You expected to see at least one or two people…But anyway, it was better for you. Leaning against the wall of the staircase, you took out the lunch box Sookja made for you with your favorite food inside as a good luck charm for your first day. It slightly made you smile and brought you some comfort. You didn’t want to think to anything, just having some peace until you heard loud laughs from the stairs, making you panicking and quickly packed your lunch to see a group of boys who seemed as surprised as you to find you here.

« Oh, isn’t the « New girl » ? » smirked the small blonde guy.

You quickly looked away, mumbling a « sorry » before trying to pass over them, but an arm blocked your route.

« Hey, you could at least say hi when someone’s talking to you » groaned the tallest from the pack.

You felt intimidated. You just wanted to leave, without creating any problems. You looked up at the tall guy, scared about what he was about to do next until you noticed wavy black hair. Yunho was here also, and he didn’t seem to pay attention.

« I-I’m sorry, I just want to go p-please » you said weakly, the panic gaining your body each second passing by.

« Tss, is that how rich bitch like you are behaving huh ? »

This was escalating quickly. You were too scared to do anything, when you saw the tall guy’s hand reaching out for you too rapidly, making you flinch.

« Mingi. Stop. »

It was Yunho’s voice. As you shut your eyes tight, you slowly opened them to see an annoyed Mingi, rubbing his nape in frustration while the blonde guy was shocked. Yunho looked at his friends.

« Hongjoong, let’s go somewhere else » he added to the blonde guy.

Hongjoong nodded and slighlty pushed Mingi away to the stairs, only Yunho staying still, his dark orbs fixed on you in silence.

« Hey, I really hate people like you, but I didn’t want Mingi to do something bad, so you better go now. » he warned, giving you a cold shiver in your back.

Why was this always like this ? No matter where you go, people always hate you, or fake to be friendly to you because of your status. You felt tears filling your eyes, but you with the few pride left in you, you left Yunho alone on this rooftop, running away from him until next class. You were certain of a thing, Yunho hated you and you're far to know he'd soon take advantage of you.

chapter 2 coming soon ! please let me know what you think about this first chapter <3

taglist: @palegardenrebel @mirror-juliet @twancingyunhoe @yeosangmystar @dreamer95 @tinyteenieateez @yunsangoveryonder @tenebrisirae

Couldn’t tag : @nz-pichbg (comment to be added in the taglist)

[ghost0loxer]

Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.

Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.

I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.

Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.

Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”

This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.

But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.

Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.

Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.

Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.

In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.

Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I’m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).

When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.

[hopefulobjectmiracle]

Since you mentioned Heart as your favorite Brittana episode instead of Season 6, what are your other top 5 eps for them?

hello anon! i don't know if i have a solid top 5, because there aren't that many eps where i like every brittana scene in the whole episode, but i'll do my best! this is in no particular order (except 3x13 is the best). 

season 3, episode 13: heart

this was obvious given that we just mentioned it, lol, but yeah - imo, this is the quintessential brittana episode.

we get precious background moments, multiple scenes of them dancing together, a precious and unique gift from brittany to santana, a serenade given by santana to brittany, cute hand kisses, santana feeding brittany chocolate strawberries, the two of them standing up for their relationship against bigotry, and...oh yeah!! their first real kiss 🤩 i just really, really adore that whole entire episode bc it contains everything i love about their relationship and none of the things i don’t like. to me, 3x13 is brittana at their best and i thank our queen ali adler every day for it. 

oh, and it also has santana shading finchel...bc same, girl.

season 4, episode 22: all or nothing

i just think all of the scenes in this ep are precious. and santana telling her that she still cares about brittany as a person and as a friend was really, really nice to see. i love how santana was able to convince brittany to take a chance and go to MIT, and i especially love this particular final moment for the two of them. i know that back then fans were afraid that this would be brittana’s last episode, and while i’m really glad that it wasn’t, i think the writers did a pretty good job giving them that sendoff (that thankfully turned out to be temporary). 

season 2, episode 20: prom queen

this is kind of a copout because brittana aren’t that heavily featured in this episode compared to klaine or quinn, but santana does have a neat little arc that is pivotal in her character development, and this ep also contains my absolute favorite brittana scene in the whole show: the one where brittany talks to santana in the choir room. 

brittany was kind and reassuring and supportive of santana, while also reminding her that her friends needed her and that she should go out and support them. she said exactly what santana needed to hear, and she gave santana the courage to go back out there and be there for her friends. that is the brittany that i wish had been present in the entire show. 

season 3, episode 19: prom-a-saurus

like the previous episode, brittana aren’t all that heavily featured...and the overall episode isn’t the best. but the limited brittana content we got in this ep really is lovely and i’d say that it’s some of the most wonderful brittana fluff in the series. 

brittany making a heart in the air while santana sings, and santana winking back? precious. smiley!santana grabbing brittany away from kurt and blaine to come dance with her? adorable. santana repeatedly calling brittany’s dinosaur theme genius? so cute. their prom picture? incredible. and santana saying that she didn’t want to be queen if brittany wasn’t king? that’s true love right there <3

the only thing that would've made this ep better for them would've been santana and brittany getting elected prom king & queen, but i’m not going to get into it here bc that deserved its own post. 

season 5, episode 12: 100 - i really, really like the whole storyline of santana recognizing that brittany is being taken advantage of and overworked at MIT and helping her find her passion for dance again. santana was the only one who really noticed that brittany was behaving oddly, came up with a plan all by herself to help brittany snap out of her funk, and she recreated one of their very special moments (valerie) to convince britt to get up and dance with her. i wrote this a while ago about the importance of the song valerie:

It just feels so significant to me that Santana chose this particular song to get Britt out of her funk. Valerie is special to both of them, it’s the first competition solo Santana ever got and it was the first time we ever got to witness the dance skills of one Brittany S. Pierce.

It was the first time Brittany got to show off how talented she was and how she was so much more than the dumb blonde everyone thought she was. Now, however, no one thinks she’s dumb. Now everyone sees her as just another statistic for MIT.

Santana, however, sees right through that and sees her for who she really is - not dumb, not just a genius, but Brittany, the girl who loves to dance. So Santana picks the same song from the first time Brittany got to show off her dancing to prove to her once again that dancing is what she’s meant to do.

...and i think it still holds up. that whole storyline was just so great for them, and to cap it off they have their hottest kiss at the end of the ep. like, damn...the chemistry 🥵

now i don't like the solution of her ditching MIT altogether and santana leaving her understudy job...but that's in the next episode, not this one, so i'll ignore it for now 😅

honorable mentions to 2x15 for being the ep where it started it all and to 4x04 for having a breakup that makes me cry. not to mention, these two eps have my some of my all-time favorite brittana songs (mine and landslide).

[amanda-glassen]

The Wonder Years: Part 4

While getting ready for her first school dance, twelve-year-old Olivia starts a path toward discovering who she is truly meant to be. Parts 1-3 can be found under the the tag #alex and liv: the wonder years

Thank you to everyone who reblogged the last chapter and an extra special thank you to @storiesofsvu @ghostwritingcabenson @oliviaswifey @denpine @cabensons and my two anons for your kind words and encouragement to keep going with this.

Approaching the entryway to her middle school in the morning was always a scary thought for Olivia, but at 6 o’clock on the night of her first school dance, the entryway seemed downright menacing. Other students were excitedly approaching the entryway－some with groups of friends, others with dates－but none seemed to be as nervous as Olivia.

“Ms. Benson, can you take a picture of Olivia and me together?” Alex asked. She handed her phone over to Serena and yet another wave of nervousness hit Olivia. She’s going to hug me or something and my mom is going to freak out again.

The two of them posed near the colorful Spring Fling banner with Olivia afraid to even wrap her arm around Alex. She had wanted to get the pictures over with until she saw how disappointed Alex looked. 

“Loosen up, kid,” Jamie teased her. “It’s your first dance, not your first day of school. Why don’t you twirl her?”

Olivia gave her a confused look. “Twirl her? How?”

“Like this,” Jamie held out her hand for her girlfriend. “Serena.”

Alex and Olivia watched as Jamie did a twirling pose with Serena. When she decided to actually twirl her, Serena let out a squeal that made Alex giggle.

She grabbed Olivia’s hand and tried to get Olivia to go along with it. “Olivia! Twirl me, please! That looks so cute!”

With an encouraging look from Jamie, Olivia held Alex’s hand and raised her arm up to twirl her. Alex smiled and giggled and Olivia considered that giggle to be her new favorite sound and she was now willing to do just about anything to hear it again. 

Alex looked so beautiful and so happy in the pictures and, although she wasn’t too big on social media, Olivia couldn’t wait to post them and brag to everyone about her girlfriend.

“I’ll send you the pictures, Ms. Benson,” Alex said while scrolling through her phone. “You too, Olivia. I’m going to post these and show everyone how cute and dapper my girlfriend is.”

“Alex! Alex!” They heard a girl shout. Olivia looked ahead and saw Serena Southerlyn, Alex’s best friend, walking toward them.

“Hi, Serena!” Alex responded. 

Olivia watched as the two of them hugged and complimented each other’s dresses and hair. She liked seeing Alex with her friends because it made her feel like she was in some sort of alternate universe. Olivia’s friends were mostly boys and they wouldn’t be caught dead complimenting each other’s appearance. Instead, there were high-fives when they greeted each other and the occasional teasing that was all in fun.

“We should go in now,” Alex said to Jamie and Serena. “Thank you Ms. Castillo and Ms. Benson. I appreciate you both bringing us.” 

"What's the rush?" Alex's best friend asked Alex and Olivia. Olivia noticed her girlfriend roll her eyes when Serena approached Jamie. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced. My name is Serena Southerlyn. I'm a friend of Alex's and an acquaintance of Olivia's. You are the most dashing woman I have ever seen. Would you escort me to the dance?"

Alex covered her face with her hands. "Serena! You have a girlfriend."

Olivia looked at her mom who had started scrolling through her phone to prevent herself from laughing, but her movement got the attention of the younger Serena. "Who is she?" the twelve-year-old Serena asked Jamie with a disgusted look on her face. 

Jamie reached for her girlfriend’s hand. "She's my girlfriend who is also named Serena."

"And she's my mommy," Olivia said defensively. Once the word 'mommy' came out of her mouth, she was grateful the guys weren't around. Instead it was just Alex who looked at her adoringly.

"You are a very beautiful girl," Jamie began. "And I'm sure you're aware that girls named Serena are always the prettiest and always the most special, which is why there's only room for one Serena in my heart, but I know for a fact it won't be long before some girl sweeps you off your feet."

Alex tugged at Serena’s arm to get her to leave with them. "Some girl already has. She has a girlfriend, one whose parents will be dropping her off at the designated drop off area any time now."

"Fine," twelve-year-old Serena yanked her arm from Alex's grip before gesturing to the older Serena. "If this doesn't work out, Jamie, you know where to find me.”

Mrs. Carmichael’s SUV pulled into the drop off area and when Abbie stepped out of the vehicle in the same navy blue and floral criss cross fit and flare dress as Serena, Serena ran over to her without saying another word. 

It had taken every ounce of willpower she had, but Serena Benson had managed to hold in her laughter until the twelve-year-old Serena was out of earshot. “If she’s like that at twelve, what is she going to be like at seventeen?” She playfully smacked Jamie’s arm. “I guess I just have five years left with you.”

“Forgive her,” Alex smiled nervously. “Ever since she turned twelve, all she can think about is women. And please don’t judge me based on my best friend. I promise my heart belongs only to Olivia.”

Once she heard that, Olivia couldn’t decide if she wanted to beam with pride because of how Alex felt or cease to exist because of how her mom would react. With no idea what to do with herself, she stood there with her eyes wide.

“I’m sure you’re the perfect girlfriend for Olivia,” Serena said as she pulled Olivia in and gave her a tight embrace. Olivia felt like her circulation was being cut off, but what made matters worse is when her mom planted a kiss on her cheek. “My little Ollie. I love you so much.”

Olivia finally managed to move just enough to give Jamie a look that she hoped she would see as a cry for help. “Come on, babe, be cool.” Jamie snickered. “She’s in middle school now. She’s got a reputation to protect.”

Olivia’s reputation consisted of when she ran away the first time Alex flirted with her and the time she narrowly avoided walking into a pole and instead fell down on the cement and scraped her knee as a result of watching Alex apply lip gloss. Now that she thought about it, she no longer had a reputation to protect, but she was grateful for Jamie’s statement nonetheless.

“I’ll let you go,” Serena told her, just slightly lessening the tightness of her embrace. “I want you girls out here at nine o’clock. If not, I’m going in there and I will make an announcement that I’m looking for Olivia Margaret Benson in 6th grade, core 1, Mrs. Peterson’s homeroom.”

“Oh, god,” Olivia groaned, a look of absolute terror on her face. 

“She’s kidding, Olivia,” Alex giggled.

“She’s not,” Olivia worriedly responded.

As soon as they entered the auditorium, Olivia realized, aside from the colorful streamers and punch, the dance was nothing like she expected. The seventh and eighth graders were all on the dance floor, but the sixth graders were separated along gender lines with the boys on one wall of the auditorium and girls on another. Her friends who had all talked big just one day prior were now even too afraid to stand near their dates. The only sixth graders who seemed to be enjoying themselves were Abbie and Serena who were on the dancefloor along with the older kids. 

“Do you wanna dance?” Olivia asked Alex while she scanned the room.

“I don’t know,” Alex responded nervously. “I mean, maybe later. This isn’t my song.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Olivia nodded, feeling completely relieved. “This isn’t my song either.”

Their friends may have been on opposite sides of the auditorium, but what soon brought them together was Olivia’s new haircut, which much to her chagrin, became the topic of conversation among their respective groups. The girls showered her with compliments, some of which made Alex start to feel jealous until Olivia squeezed her hand to reassure her that she was the only girl for her. 

A slow song began to play and, although Olivia hadn’t magically learned how to slow dance over the last few minutes, she knew another romantic gesture might be required to make Alex feel better. Even if I make a complete fool of myself, she’s worth it.

“May I have this?” Olivia blurted out.

Alex narrowed her eyes. “Have what?” she asked before Olivia realized she hadn’t finished the rest of her question about asking her to dance.

Her girlfriend may not have been the most popular girl in sixth grade, but Alex and her friends held enough rank in the sixth grade social scene for that moment to be sufficiently awkward for Olivia with all of them exchanging glances and wondering what Olivia was trying to ask.

“Dance with me?” Olivia’s voice squeaked for a third time that night.

Her question was followed by a chorus of ���aww’ and ‘how cute’ from Alex’s friends, but most importantly, it was followed by a kiss on the cheek from Alex. “I’d love to dance with you, Olivia.”

Olivia tried to remember every prom scene from teen movies she had watched with her mom on Netflix so she could know where to place her hands during slow dancing until she realized she usually got bored of those movies and the two of them would watch some cheesy horror movie from when her mom was a teenager because Olivia considered those way more fun, especially when they’d turn the lights off in their apartment and eat junk food on the couch while they watched. I guess the Blair Witch Project can’t save me now.  Panic set in once again until she saw how beautiful Alex looked standing in front of her. Her girlfriend’s glittery lips and braces-filled smile put Olivia at ease and, once she focused on her instead of the logistics of slow dancing, Olivia finally started to enjoy herself.

She didn’t know if she had rhythm and she didn’t care because what mattered most to her was holding Alex close while some song about eternal love or maybe heartbreak－Olivia didn’t actually care－played in the background. 

Alex’s coconut body spray reminded her of every good summer memory she ever had and all of the new memories she wanted to make with her that summer. It was the first time she had held Alex that close and for that long and, as much as she enjoyed the time she pigged out on nachos and caught a foul ball at a Mets game with her uncle, she now had a new contender for the best moment of her life, but when Alex whispered in her ear ‘You’re the best girlfriend in the world,’ she knew nothing could ever compare to her first slow dance with the very first girl she would give her heart to.

[itsmelaurel]

Begin Again

Summary: When your best friends move away for college, you think life is officially over. However, you find yourself making new friends including the blonde surfer from the other side of the island.

—————————————————

three.

The first time you physically see the boys again is a whole month after they move.  It was prospect weekend at their university which meant all high school seniors who were interested in the school were invited to tour the campus and attend a football game.  For most high school seniors it was their first taste of what college would be like next year.  

For you, it was just another weekend at your parents alumni college. It was where they met and fell in love. They had been bringing you to sporting events here every year and basically assumed you would follow in their footsteps.

When you got to campus, they boys met you outside their dorm. Each took a few extra seconds to hug you with Topper actually spinning you around. It felt good to see them, to hug them. This was the longest any of you had gone without seeing each other.

You were currently sitting at the tailgate they dragged you and Sarah to. Ward and your dad had left you both there to visit the alumni tailgate, which was probably a bad idea since Kelce immediately poured you a shot as soon as they left.

All of them had promised not to leave your side, professing that they wanted to spend as much time with you as possible while you were here. That didn’t last long though as they were quickly swept up into a game of beer pong with their fraternity brothers.

Since they were preoccupied, you and Sarah had been people watching from the side of the tent. Several people who graduated from Kildare Prep also went to school here. It was the most popular college choice for Kildare's finest.

“Is it just me or does this feel like a KP reunion?” Sarah asked looking around the tent.

“Definitely feels like a reunion.” You agreed with a grimace.

It’s quiet for a moment as you watch people taking shots, shotgunning beers and quickly becoming blacked out drunk.

“I don’t think I want to go here.” Sarah rushes out quickly and you whip your head around to look at her with wide eyes.

“I- I don’t think I do either.” You stutter. It’s the first time you’ve ever admitted it out loud to anyone. It had been a small thought in the back of your mind for a few weeks now, but you kept ignoring it.

Your parents had been planning on you attending this school since you were a baby. The boys didn’t even think there was another option for you because wouldn’t you want to be where your best friends were?

It was where you always thought you would end up, but it didn’t feel right all the sudden. It didn’t feel like home.

“I haven’t told anyone- well, except John B.”

“Me either minus the part about John B.”

Both of you just stare at each other for a moment, letting the reality of your words sink in.

“Y/n! Sarah!” Kelce was shouting your names as he made his way over to you. Your eyes quickly glance back to Sarah’s, a silent understanding passing between y'all. “Come on, I called next for y'all at pong. You're up against Top and Rafe.”

After winning two games of beer pong, both you and Sarah let another team take over your spot. You were a little tipsy even after switching to water during the second game. All of the guys around the table were in awe of you and Sarah sinking almost every shot.

“That’s my girl!” Rafe shouts when you made the shot to win the first game, even though he and Topper lost because of it.

You and Sarah head towards the coolers to get more water, bending down to open the cooler when a heeled bootie slams the lid shut.

“What tha-” your eyebrows wrinkle in confusion as you look up to see three girls standing on the other side of the cooler.

“Um, can we help you?” Sarah asks as you stand up straight next to her.

“The prospect tailgate is on the other side of the quad.” The blonde in the middle says, her nasally voice like nails on a chalkboard.

“We’re here with friends.” You say, eyes scanning the area for Rafe, Topper or Kelce. Of course they are nowhere to be found.

“Oh really? Who?” The brunette on the left asks, trying to catch us in a lie.

“Topper Thornton, Rafe Cameron and Kelce-” you don’t even get to finish before all three girls are cackling. You and Sarah share an annoyed look.

“No way you're friends with them.” The other blonde on the right says.

“Actually, I’m Rafe’s sister and this is their best friend, y/n.” Sarah says. All of their smiles falter for half a second before they turn their gaze solely to me.

“They’ve never mentioned a girl best friend-”

“Maybe you don’t know them that well.” You taunt. It causes all of them to chuckle again.

“Honey, we’re with those boys literally every single day. They’ve never mentioned you.” The one in the middle brags.

“They call themselves the three amigos. I’ve never heard them utter anything about anyone else.” The brunette chirps.

“And you aren’t on their instagrams anywhere. I would totally remember if you were.” The other blonde adds, all three girls now wearing similar smirks.

A frown settles on your face. You know for a fact you are all over their instagrams. From prom pictures to spending the day on the water, you know you're on all of their pages hundreds of times. Your whole lives have pretty much been documented on their social media accounts.

Thankfully, Sarah has the complete opposite reaction of you. She laughs out loud, hand on her stomach as she leans back slightly - intentionally mocking the girls. People are starting to look at the scene near the edge of the tent.

“Can you imagine trying to intimidate two high school girls because of who they're friends with?” Sarah says loudly so everyone on this side hears. The girls' faces fall at her words.

“Because bitch, we can’t relate.” Sarah throws her hand up in the middle girl's face, a clear dismissal of their childish behavior. She grabs your hand and drags you behind her, away from the tent and the three wicked bitches from hell. She doesn’t stop until a small clearing opens up next to the brick stadium entrance and you're all alone.

Once stopped, the first thing you do is pull your phone out. Opening up Instagram you check all three of the boys Instagram pages hoping that bitch was lying. Your heart sinks when you realize she wasn’t.

There isn’t a trace of you on any of their pages. Tears well up in your eyes and you clench your eyes shut to prevent them from falling.

“Don’t cry, you are way too pretty to cry over those assholes.” Sarah says gently, pulling you into a hug.

“How could they erase every single picture of me? Like I haven’t been there for every moment of their lives.” Your voice cracks a little as you try to keep the emotion from spilling out.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to beat their asses. Then I’m going to roundhouse kick Peggy, Susie and Betty in their faces for messing up our day.” Sarah pulls back slightly to look at you, the determined look on her face makes you giggle.

“Hey! There you are. We were just headed to the boys tailgate to get you so we can head into the game.” Ward says as he and your dad walk up to you.

“Everything okay?” Your dad asks, head tilting as he notices your watery eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You lie, pushing down every single emotion your feeling as the four of you make your way into the game.

When you find your seats, Sarah asks her dad to take your picture. He takes a few then she holds her phone up for some selfies.

Your phone is blowing up, so you take it out to see who it is. There’s at least ten texts in the group chat asking where you went.

Then there’s two texts from a certain blonde haired, blue eyed surfer. The first one asks if you made it and the second one is a picture of the pogues all with sad faces at your and Sarah’s absence.

You send him a picture of the field to let him know you made it, then you make Sarah take a picture just like theirs and send it with a red heart emoji. You immediately regret sending a red heart, but he sends one right back.

Sarah is staring at you as you stare at those little red hearts, her eyebrows raised as she watches you smile.

“What?”

“Just wondering if I look like that every time I text John B.” She shrugs before looking back out to the field. A blush graces your cheeks as you roll your eyes, both of you giggling which catches your dads attention.

“Hey, there’s no giggling in football.” Ward says, snapping his fingers to get both of you to stop. It only fuels your laughter on more.

—

After the game, the original plan was to meet the boys back at their tailgate before getting on the road. All four of you are headed that way, talking about the big win when you look up towards the tailgate. Through the crowd of people, you can see those three girls from earlier talking to Kelce, Topper and Rafe. The site makes you falter your steps until you are completely stopped.

As much as you want to go over there and prove that your friends with the boys, you can’t and it’s not because of those girls. You can’t face the boys right now. All of the emotions you pushed down earlier start to bubble up and you refuse to let them see you cry.

“Um, actually, can we go get the truck?” You ask nervously, eyes trained only on your dad as he stops a few steps ahead of you. He squints his eyes at you, confused at your behavior.

“We need to say bye to Rafe.” Ward comments as he looks back to the tent. Sarah also looks towards the tent, noticing the scene before looking back at you and your glossy eyes.

“We'll go say bye to the boys, y’all go get the truck and pick us up on the corner. It will probably save us all some time.” Sarah makes a plan before y’all go your separate ways.

It’s quiet as you and your dad walk side by side towards his truck, the only noise between the two of you is a faint sniffle as you try to keep yourself from crying.

“So, you want to tell me what’s wrong?” He asks softly. He stops walking, turning his whole body to look at you. His face is full of concern and you can’t hold it in anymore.

You tell him about those bitches at the tailgate, the fact your best friends practically erased every memory y’all had together and then you accidently let it slip that you don’t want to go to school here anymore. He pulls you into a hug, repeatedly telling you that it’s all going to be okay as he rocks you back and forth.

Both of you stay like that for a few minutes until your crying slowly fades into a few tears and hiccups. He sweetly dabs the tear stains with the sleeve of his shirt.

“I promise it’s all going to be okay, sweetpea.” He whispers reassuringly before he pulls you into his side and continues on to the vehicle. His words are comforting, but it does help the ache you feel in your chest.

When you pick up Ward and Sarah, she is practically glowing when she climbs in the back seat with you.

“You should have seen those bitches-” she begins but Ward shoots her a look at her word choice. She rolls her eyes but continues on “they looked like they were going to throw up when we walked up. When the boys kept asking where you were, their faces paled.” She laughs and even Ward chuckles from the front seat.

“Did they say anything?”

“Oh yeah, they said they were just joking around with us. So I told the boys everything they said. I honestly thought Rafe was going to punch their little blonde leader. When the girls left, Topper said they’ve only seen those girls twice at swap parties.”

“You should have seen them leave, total embarrassment as this one actually laughed.” Ward says from the front seat pointing back at Sarah. That little bit of information makes you feel a little better.

“Did the boys say anything about Instagram?” You ask, unsure if you really want to know. She shakes her head no.

“They were too hyped up on shutting those girls down. I’m sure they are blowing up your phone right now though.” She points to your purse. You can feel it vibrating repeatedly from the inside.

When you pull it out, the amount of texts and calls popping up is causing your phone to go slow. You decide to put it on Do Not Disturb, not ready to talk to them yet. Plus, they’re probably still drunk. The conversation that needs to be had would be best sober.

When you get home, you quickly shower to wash the tailgate and stadium funk off. You just finish putting on pajamas when there’s a light knock on your window.

You slowly approach the window, peaking through the blinds to see who it could possibly be. The only boys who have ever snuck through your window don’t live in the banks anymore.

“JJ?” You're completely confused, but you pull the blinds up and open up the window anyways.

“Hey” he whispers as he stands on the roof landing outside your window. His eyes rake over your face before taking in your light pink silk pajamas.

“What are you doing here?”

“John B had to drop something off at Sarah’s, so I thought I would come see you.”

“Well, come in.” You whisper stepping back so he can move inside. He doesn’t, but he grabs your hand pulling you back to the window.

“I can’t stay long. He told me to meet him back at the van in a few minutes.” He explains, his thumb running across the back of your hand.

You don’t even realize your pouting at the fact he has to leave so soon until his other thumb brushes across your bottom lip before moving up your jaw. He drops that hand quickly as if he's been burned and lets out a shaky breath.

“Did you have fun today?” He asks quietly, frowning when you only shrug in response. Before he can question further, his phone beeps.

“That’s John B letting me know my times up.”

“Thanks for stopping by.” you reply softly.

“Anytime, sweets.” He says making you giggle. He backs away from the window before turning around to climb off the roof making you close the window then the blinds.

You haven’t even moved from the spot when another knock makes you jump. You reopen everything to see JJ standing there again.

“I forgot something.” He whispers as he gets closer to the window.

“Wha-” you don’t even get to finish the word when his lips land on yours and his hand comes up to cup your jaw. The kiss is soft, almost tender as your lips move against his sparking electricity between the two of you.

It only lasts for a few seconds before his phone goes off again. He reluctantly pulls away, leaving you both wanting more.

“I’ve got to go.” He says against your lips and you nod in understanding.

“Goodnight J” you whisper as he backs away for the second time.

“Sweet dreams baby” He says with a wink before climbing off the roof.

The kiss is the only thing you can think of as you slowly drift off to sleep, completely exhausted from the long day. Not mean bitches, shitty best friends or anxiety of your future.

Only JJ Maybank’s lips on yours.

taglist: @dreamsndior @rafej-cambanks @prejudic3 @katiaw2 @sometimesicryintheshower @bibliophilewednesday  @edgymuffin @stargazingandmoon @rae131415 @httpstarkey @k-k0129 @sunshineitsfine44

[scarletwinterxx]

Timeless pt. 4 - Doyoung AU

Hi! I’ve been having a hard time thinking scenarios and just writing in general. I do apologize for the slow updates. I’m trying my best. Anyways I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy! Here’s a new chapter, I hope you enjoy xx -A

For my other work you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

“Here let me help you with that”

“Mom it’s fine. It’s not crooked”

“Just a little to the right. Just a little more”

“Mom seriously, we’re going to be late at this rate” I told my mother again as she continues on fiddling with my graduation cap,

“Should we break them up before they fight?” I hear my brother ask our dad who in return just chuckled at him

“Glad to know we amuse you” I glared at the two while mom fiddles with my outfit some more

“Okay okay, there it’s perfect. We need pictures, Jeno go stand by your sister” she said then pushed Jeno towards my direction, linking my arms with my brother’s

“Since when were you taller than me?” I jokingly asked him

“Since middle school, noona. Ouch! She pinched me!”

“What are you? Babies? Please stay still, just one good picture is all I ask” the two of us beamed at our mother, the sound of the camera shutter then went back to play fighting

Someone was knocking on my door, taking a break from our little banter I sauntered off to answer the door.

When I opened the door, Doyoung was standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his grasp

“Congrats on surviving college” he told me jokingly, holding out the bouquet of flowers towards me

“Barely survived it, thank you” I let him in the apartment, quickly my parents and brother spotted the new visitor

“Oh Doyoung-ah, glad you could make it!” Mom said as she greeted Doyoung, then shook hands with my dad

“She’s going to whip the camera out again” Jeno mumbled from beside me

“Since you’re here, let’s get a picture of you two. Come on” at this Jeno laughed out loud making Doyoung turn to us with a confused look on his face

“Mom, this isn’t prom. We need to go” I said but didn’t make a move, I just let Doyoung put his hand around my waist while I smile at the camera

“You two looks so cute, you’ll look at this picture years from now and tell your kids all about it” she said suddenly, my eyes as wide as saucers. I looked up at Doyoung only to find him already looking at me with this look in his eyes I can’t quite place. 

“We can also tell them about prom” Doyoung replied, playing along with what my mother just said

“Don’t get me started on that. Can we go now?” I said not letting him say another word. 

The thing was I never even went to prom, I was supposed to but I got very a very bad case of the flu the night before so I ended up not going. Weeks after that, I found Doyoung in our garden with a cute little set up that our friend’s helped him set up, “Since you can’t come to prom, I’ll just take prom to you”

To this day it still is the most touching and romantic thing anyone has ever done for me, Doyoung was and still is the best bestfriend I could ever ask for. He has his own way of taking care of everyone around him, making sure everyone is happy. 

After a while we were finally all in the car, Doyoung was persuaded by my parent’s to just leave his car at my apartment and just take a ride with us.

“Hyung, can I borrow the admissions book you were telling me about?” I hear Jeno ask Doyoung

“Sure, I’ll take it over at yours. Make sure to read up on it before the exams. It’s not the same questions but it’s good to have some idea” 

I let the two talk about whatever it is they were talking about. Those two have always had a close relationship, not because I was friends with Doyoung and Jeno is my brother. They just bonded on their own. I know Doyoung sees my brother like his own family, that thought warms my heart.  

When we got to the venue, there were other students with their families walking in. I didn’t miss a few looks being thrown our way. 

“You okay?” I hear Doyoung say as he appears beside me

“Yea, I still don’t feel like all of this is real” I mumbled then took the arm he was holding out to me, following my parents and Jeno who were walking infront of us

“You’ve worked so hard for this for the past 4 years, enjoy it” He told me with a gentle smile

“I know but after this then what? What do I do? I was thinking about the other night like what do I do after studying, this is all I’ve done pretty much my whole life” I ranted on and on

“Well you go and get a job, if that’s what you want. Or travel, or go and study something else. The world is your oyster, go take your pick” 

“But I don’t know what to pick” I mumbled, turning to look at him. He must’ve sensed my anxiousness because he took the hold I had on his arm then opted to lacing our hands together

“That’s the beauty of it, you don’t have to just do one thing anymore. You can decide what it is you want to do, take all the time in the world. You always said you wanted to learn how to play the piano, why not start with that?” He told me

“That’s not a solid pick, I feel like now I should be a responsible adult who can make her own decisions in life but I feel like I will keep on making the wrong choices”

“It’s gotten you this far, do you regret where you are now?”

Do I?

That’s the question. 

Looking back to the past 23 years, I don’t see one choice I would change because that would mean I would not end up here. And to be honest, no matter how much I’m stressing and anxious I am right now there’s no other moment I’d rather be. 

“No”

“Then just keep on doing what you’ve always done, do what your mind tells you to do. You only have to make yourself happy, that should be your priority from now on”

“Are you? Happy I mean” I returned the question to him, he looked at me for a while before a small smile formed on his lips. 

“I am”

I just smiled back at him. We didn’t need to say more. We knew we’re still on the same team him and I. We’re still in this together. 

It’s been a month after graduation. I mainly have been just at home, taking a break from everything. For the first time in years I didn’t have to do any homework or study for a test. It was such a change, at first I wasn’t sure what to do with all the free time but I just really did nothing. 

Well not entirely nothing. 

Ever since after the graduation ceremony, the Kim’s and my family had another dinner. This time our mom’s were dead set on starting the wedding plans. That has always been the plan, they said. 

When they ask us anything about the wedding I just look over at Doyoung then have him answer for us. We promised to start on planning but making our mother’s promise to let us do it our own way. 

“How about a beach setting?” Joy suggested, I was talking to her over the phone since she’s currently on a vacation with her family

“No, it’s cute but I just don’t get that vibe”

“Inside then, like a big ballroom or something straight out of a movie type of setting?”

I hear the door of my apartment being opened, I didn’t bother to stand up from the couch already knowing it was Doyoung. 

He’s been stopping by more recently, even sleeping over a couple of times. I don’t mind, I like having some company at home. Plus, he’s a really good cook. I can never say no to a home cooked meal made by Doyoung

“I’ll put it on the list, I’ll ask Doyoung first then we’ll look for some options maybe”

“Ask me what?” Doyoung said when he heard his name being mentioned

“I’ll talk to you later okay? Bye” I hung up the phone before looking over at my fiancé who was already looking at me

“Ask me what?” He repeated

“Where you want to get married, how was work?” I asked back

“Work was work, what do you want for dinner?”

“Aren’t you tired, do you want to just order some take out?” I asked him already reaching for my phone but he pulled my arm back

“I like cooking for you though, plus it taste so much better”

I smiled at him, “Well if you insist”

With that he stood up again then walked over to the kitchen, “How about pasta?” I hear him ask me

“Sounds good” I called back. 

The scene was so domestic but it felt right. It makes me smile knowing this is my future, our future. 

I think about how we would come home to our own place, cook many more dinners, breakfasts and all of that. Go grocery shopping. Drive all night when we want to. Just anything and everything. Even the most simple tasks make me smile just by thinking about it. 

“What are you smiling about?” I was caught by surprise when I hear Doyoung from behind me, this time he wasn’t wearing his coat and tie, a few buttons undone and an apron on him

“Just thinking” I said then followed him to the kitchen

“It’s the weekend, if you want we can go and look at wedding venues” he suggested, his attention on the stove and his back towards me

“Sounds good, but like do you have a general idea where you want it to be? please don’t say the beach” I added the last part quickly making him laugh at me

“Don’t like the beach?” 

“I like it but not as a wedding venue” 

“Indoors then?” he turned 

“Sounds better, I was thinking of having the reception and ceremony at the same place or atleast close to each other” I said while taking down notes on the little notebook we list down the wedding plans on. Joy got it as a gift, it was supposed to be a joke but it turned out to be quite useful. Now when we talk about the wedding or make plans for it we just write it down there. 

“Oh and my dress arrived yesterday” I forgot to tell him since we didn’t see each other yesterday. The dress has already been picked out months prior, and just yesterday it was finally delivered to me. 

“Can I see?” he asked with a hopeful smile on

“No, absolutely not. It’s bad luck” I waved the pen at him making him roll his eyes jokingly at me

“I’ll wait until you walk down the aisle then” 

His back was already turned to me so he didn’t see the big smile I had as he says those words. For the two years we’ve been engaged only recently did we become more comfortable with talking about it. 

It makes me happy to know that Doyoung atleast let that wall down a bit to let me know he’s in this with me. That this is a decision we’re both happy with even if we didn’t make it ourselves. 

While Doyoung was cooking dinner for us, I set up the table and waited for him to finish. We had our meal and planned some other tiny details for the wedding. 

We moved from the dining area to the living room, a bottle of wine and snacks on the table with our notebook for our wedding plans

“But I like chocolate cake, why can’t we just have chocolate cake?”

“I’m just saying there are other options” Doyoung rebutted while pointing at the screen of my laptop, a few other different options of cake flavors displayed

“But I don’t like those, plus chocolate is a classic. We can never go wrong with that” I reasoned out, then turned to look at him

“Please” I usually don’t like to act cute but the chocolate cake does look really good, so for the sake of my chocolate cake I bat him my eyelashes and said please in the cutest way I could. 

All i got in return was a blank look 

“Fine! Let me see the other flavors” I said then took the laptop from him, scrolling through the menu once again

I can feel Doyoung’s gaze on the side of my face

“Why are you looking at me like that’?” I asked, turning my attention to him for a second then back on the screen

When I didn’t get an answer, I looked back at him to see he was still staring intently at me

“What?”

The side of his lips curled upwards, a little smile showing. He then looked down on his lap while shaking his head before taking the laptop back, “Chocolate cake it is then”

This time it was my turn to smile at him, it was such a small thing but I can’t help but feel giddy about it. I rested my head on his arm, taking a peek on the screen. 

“Thank you” I said quietly. I hear him chuckle before landing a quick kiss on top of my head. 

It didn’t catch me by surprise even though it’s probably the first time Doyoung has done that. But it did make my heart skip a beat because he isn’t the type to show affection often, so when he does I know it’s pretty genuine. 

“When I thought about getting married one day this isn’t what I had in mind” I hear him say

“Not what you had in mind?”

“I just wish I could have atleast asked you to marry me myself instead of it being announced like a business proposal instead of a marriage proposal”

“You can ask me again, if it makes you feel better” I was half joking when I said it but suddenly Doyoung stood up from the couch and held his hand out to me

“Huh?” i asked

“The ring, can I have it back for moment?”

“Is this your subtle way of telling me you don’t want to marry me?” I asked back, playing with the ring on my finger

“No, Do you not trust me?”

“I do”

“Then ring please” 

For the first time in two years I slipped the ring off of my finger, the feeling was foreign. I got so used to the weight of it there that I feel like I’m missing a part of my hand now that I’m not wearing it

“You know, I was the one who picked this”

“You never told the that” I smiled up at him

“Yea, I was on a family trip that summer before they told you of the engagement. I already knew. My mom was thinking of choosing one from her own rings but I just thought it would be better if I pick it out myself” he said then took a step closer to me until our knees were touching

He was still standing so I had to look up at him. his gaze still on the ring

“I found this little shop while walking around the city, it wasn’t one of those big jewelry stores. I didn’t even think I would find a ring there, so I went in and looked around then I found this” this time he looked at me with a smile before getting down on one knee. 

This wasn’t what happened years ago, just like he said it was like a business proposition rather than a wedding proposal. We were sat together then told we were to be married, next thing i know I had a ring on my finger.

“We kind of skipped this part before but you’re right. I don’t want to ask myself what it would have been if I asked you myself so I’m going to ask you now. I know our situation is still very different, it’s not like we have a choice but from now on I’d like you to always remember that this is the choice I made, that I’d be choosing you from this point forward. So Lee Y/N, will you marry me?”

I didn’t speak for a while, I was just looking at him. To be honest I was just in awe of everything in this moment. I wasn’t expecting our evening to end like this but here we are

“You know this is the part where you say yes...”

“Shut up, give me my ring back” I mumbled, tears already spilling out of my eyes. I can’t believe he just made me cry like that and it isn’t even our wedding yet. I wonder how I would be when I hear his wedding vow

“Was that a yes?” Doyoung can’t help but tease me some more, holding onto my hand with his while the other was holding the ring

“You didn’t have to make me cry like this, but sure I’ll marry you” my answer made him laugh out loud, sliding the ring back in place then placing a quick kiss on top of it. 

With a cheeky smile on, he took the seat beside me before wiping the tears away from my face. He bopped my nose with his finger, still beaming at me as if he was so proud he made me cry. 

“Wait until you hear my wedding vow then”

Lining the camera towards the front or where the possible aisle could be, I took a quick shot before checking the picture. Smiling to myself when I see it come out good.

“You like this place?” I feel a hand land on my back, without looking up from the camera screen I nodded my head. The smile still evident on my face.

“It would look good if we set up the arch or whatever right there, see” I say then held out the camera for Doyoung to see, “Lighting looks good, is that why choose it?” he asked me, now a smile on his face mirroring mine

“It would look great in pictures, that’s all I’m saying. If you want we can look at another location” I mumbled, he just chuckled at me before taking my hand in his. A little action that didn’t fail to make my heart skip a beat.

“No, I think this is the one. I haven’t seen you smile like that with the other venues we looked at” he said while walking towards where I just took the picture

He stopped when it was near the floor length windows with the view of the garden as the background, he kept looking around as if he was examining the place

“You don’t like it?” I asked, I don’t even know why but I feel a bit nervous. And I’m not going to deny the fact that this is the first place I liked

“No, just trying to visualize it” his statement made me laugh a bit, immediately making me feel better

“We’ll get married right here”

Just as I finish that statement, he paused for a bit before looking at me

“Right here?”

“Yeah, we can put flowers right here and there. Our families and friends would sit there. And you will be standing right here” I say with a smile

“And where would you be?”

“Walking down there to you”

I noticed a change in his expression, almost alarming me for a second but he took both of my hands in his. Holding it between us,

“It seems unreal yet I can’t imagine it not happening either” His fingers were gently caressing mine, I can tell he was feeling a bit anxious too. All I can do right now is to let him know I’m here with him,

“Me either but when I think about it, I also can’t imagine my life without you in it. I used to have the biggest crush on you when we were kids, that’s why I always held on the ends of your shirt. I remember wanting to hold your hand but I get shy every time and chicken out so instead I pull on the ends of your shirt. You never told me off when I do it even when it wrinkles your shirt, you just look over at me then let me be”

I don’t know why I was suddenly confessing to him, 6 year old me would freak out about this.

“You had a crush on me?” long gone was the look of worry on his face, instead he was now smirking at me

“It’s not like you showed any interest on me or anyone for that matter. You were so focused on your studies and school, I considered myself to be lucky enough to be called your friend”

“You’re my bestfriend though”

“Am I? Still your bestfriend?” I asked, it didn’t sound like a sad question. It was genuine curiosity, no underlying meaning.

“Of course you are”

I smiled at his answer, before continuing on with our conversation we decided to have a look around the garden right outside. It was like we were in another world. There was a part with a glass stained roof before opening up to an even bigger outdoor garden. It was like something straight out of a movie.

“What happened then?” I asked after a while, looking over at Doyoung

“Huh?” he shot me a confused look, ushering me to go on with my question

“Us being friends, I know we were too busy but we just stopped hanging out. You were distant” I mumbled the last part, not wanting to make the atmosphere feel somber

I can tell he was about to say something but he stopped himself, hesitant to say the words out loud.

“Honestly? I don’t know either. Life happens, I guess. I’m sorry though, if you felt like I was avoiding you” Doyoung said

“It’s okay, I don’t blame you. I’m just glad we’re able to talk like this again”

“If... If we didn’t get engaged, would you still be with her? With Sejeong?” I don’t know what pushed me to ask. I guess a part of me wanted to know every since overhearing their conversation in his office months ago.

-------------

“When you said Y/N was just a friend, that was never the case was it?” I hear a female voice asked

It was clear enough that whoever and whatever they were talking about in there, it was more personal rather than business.

“She is my friend, we’ve known each other for so long” I hear Doyoung say

“But even when we were together, she was always in the middle. Like we knew it was inevitable”

“What was inevitable?”

“You ending up with her”

“That’s something I don’t have control over, I don’t know what you want me to say” Doyoung exclaimed, he didn’t sound mad. He just sounded frustrated.

“That hurt, it hurt so much when I heard about the engagement. It even hurt more when I learned about it while I was scrolling through the morning news. When I called you, I was hoping you’d say it’s just another one of those things they made up”

“I’m sorry if you feel that way”

“If this wasn’t the case, do you think you still would break up with me?”

“I don’t know the answer to that”

“It’s a simple question, in an alternate reality was there even a possibility of us?”

--------------

I didn’t stay long enough to hear what Doyoung’s answer was, whatever it was it’s between the two of them. I trust Doyoung.

“I don’t know” he mumbled, looking down at his feet. Something that I know he does when he genuinely don’t know the answer

“She must have loved you a lot”

I do feel sorry for Sejeong. All the times I’ve met her she was kind to me, she was so much like Doyoung in a way: shy around people but knows how to speak her mind when the situation calls for it. It wasn’t a surprise to me when I heard they were dating during our college years.

I don’t know what happened to the two of them, around that time Doyoung and I were not talking to each other that much. All I know is they broke up the summer before our parents told us about the engagement.  

“It’s in the past now” he shot me a small smile before walking ahead

“How about you?” he asked

“Me? what about me?”

“You had a crush on me?” I knew he was never going to let that go, the little smirk he had on tells me I was never going to hear the end of this.

“That was like when we were kids, stop looking to smug” I said as I push him away, his laugh resonating around the garden field

“I don’t think that’s true, that’s not what you said to me”

That statement made me stop on my tracks and look at him, a confused look evading my face.

“Your birthday, you and Joy. You really don’t remember it huh” long gone was the smug look he had, he was just looking ahead with a soft look on his face. Looking as if he was recalling a good memory that I apparently cannot remember.

“In my defense that’s the only time I was ever that drunk, and it was my birthday so I think I get a free pass. You two keep on saying I said something but won’t tell me what it was”

“Joy called me, saying you won’t stop crying and kept asking for me. Had to drive out to come and pick you up...”

Doyoung started to walk so I followed his suit, walking beside him in a comfortable pace

“The smile you had on the moment you saw me, it was the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on you. You ran straight to me and won’t let go of me. Joy had to drive us back. You were just clinging on to my arm, I think it got numb at some point” he chuckled at the memory making me smile too

“Just as I was about to leave, you were passed out on the couch. I thought you were asleep so I said goodbye to Joy, but then you pulled on my hand. The look on your face was such a contrast to the smile you had earlier that night. You looked so sad, tears about to fall from your eyes. I asked why you were sad”

This time Doyoung stopped walking, looking down at his shoes before looking over at me

“You asked me if I loved her, your lips were quivering and you started to cry. I couldn’t give you an answer then because one I knew you wouldn’t even remember if I gave you the answer and two I really wasn’t sure of my answer too”

So that’s the story those two have been hiding from me, all the time Joy had a knowing smile on whenever we talk about it. I always ask her what I did that night but she just shoots me a smile.

“I couldn’t get that off of my mind, the way you looked at me when you asked me that question. Then I understood why, it was because I didn’t, love her I mean. She was special to me, she saw me not because I was this rich boy or because I was the student body. I liked her because I guess I saw so much on myself in her, I thought for the first time someone finally saw me”

This time he took a pause before looking at me again, reaching out for my hand before he started to walk again while swinging our intertwined hands back and forth.

“I don’t say this that much but I was wrong”

“Wrong about what?” I finally spoke up and asked him

“Being seen for the first time. There I was thinking she was the first when you’ve been with me all along. All our lives you were there with me, looking at me with those gentle eyes while your hand holds on my shirt.”

“Are you trying to make me cry again?” I asked, a chuckle leaving both of our lips.

“No, just thought you wanted to know what happened that night and also to answer your question”

With these revelations, I started to think about us. Our whole history.

I look over at this boy who I’ve been looking at for pretty much my whole life, with so many questions and uncertainties we’ve had over the course of this relationship I’ve always been so sure of him.

I just shot him a smile before looking ahead, his hand warm in mine.

It was the weekend so I decided to go home for a bit, Doyoung was away on a business trip and Joy was away to so I thought it was a good time to go home.

Looking around our house, I saw my mom painting at our patio. It was her favorite past time when she’s free and the rest of us weren’t at home.

She’s always been a homebody, keeping her circle of friends small and very family oriented. Some would think it must be a boring life but I look at her and I see nothing but genuine happiness. Something I wanted to ask her was how she got to that point.

Isn’t that everyone’s goal? to be genuinely happy?

I know for a fact that it’s not easy to get to that.

“Hey mom, you busy?” I ask, she didn’t turn to look at me but I know she heard me.

“Not really, need something dear?”

“An advice would be good” I mumble, taking a seat beside where she was

“Something a mother could give, ask away” she told me with a smile on her face but her attention still on the canvass

“How did you know dad was the one?”

“How did I know your dad was the one? that’s a random one. Well I didn’t know it immediately, I just realized that life was much easier and happier with him around. It’s also a bonus that I liked him”

I chuckled at the last part. After years and years of marriage, it was quite reassuring to see them still be very inlove with each other. You don’t get to see that often anymore. They’re one of the lucky ones, I thought.

“Are you the happiest when you’re with him?”

She took a pause before putting the paint brush down, taking the seat beside me before speaking again

“I’m happier with him. But is that the advice you’re asking for, sweetie? Cause if it is, let me tell you something. Your happiness should always depend on you, not on other people. Genuine happiness comes from satisfaction within, everything else is just a bonus”

“You and your brother are the greatest joy of my life, you would know what that means when you have children of your own. Your father, he just makes everything better”

She put her hand over mind, looking over at me with a concerned look on her face

“Is everything alright?”

“I don’t know, I’m not so sure anymore” I mumbled

“Well tell me what you know, I’m here to listen. You won’t figure it out if you just worry over it and do nothing about it”

“If I say... if I told you guys I don’t want to get married anymore, would you be mad at me?” I held my breath while I wait for her answer, I’m waiting for her to tell me off or scold me but instead she pulled me closer to her. A comforting pat landing on the small of my back

“Of course not. Do you know what my biggest regret is? taking away the chance of you finding the love you deserve. If you feel like you don’t want to continue with this engagement, just tell me. We’ll work it out”

“That’s the thing, I don’t know what I want”

“Well, what do you not want?”

Her question made me think, it made sense in a way. I guess mother’s know best after all.

“I don’t want to live a life asking myself if this was the right choice. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life doubting myself or Doyoung. I don’t want to live without him but I think I need to”

“Why do you think that, dear?”

“Because my whole life I’ve only ever seen him. He’s this one constant in my life, I’ve liked him since we were kids. He’s the only one I see, but even then he wasn’t always like that with me. What if... what if I could be like that too?”

Doyoung’s previous confession got me thinking. When he said he was wrong, I thought to myself how he was right about that. I’ve always been there for him, but he was always an arm’s length away. Always one step ahead of me. So close yet so far.

“Love’s like that, you two have always been something special. When I look at the pair of you I see a love that’s timeless”

“What kind of love is that?”

“The kind of love you can’t measure by days or year or time in general. You two, you’ve always gravitated towards each other. Even as kids, it was endearing to see” now she have this fond smile on her face

“This is not me giving up on him or us. I just think I need to give myself that chance that he got. He got to atleast know what it was like to be with someone else that makes him happy and loved. And me? A glance from him was enough to keep me going. I deserve more than that right?”

I look over at my mom, asking for some kind of answer to clear up my mind. She shot me a small smile before pulling me in for a much needed embrace,

“You deserve the world, my love. If that’s what you think then we’ll work on it, I’ll talk to your father. I assume you’ll tell Doyoung about this?”

I freeze at her question, how was I supposed to tell him this?

I don’t want to get married.

How do I tell the guy I love that?

[jar-full-of-pixel-hearts]

Heyy it's so good that requests are open! Could I request some angst? Maybe with "Why do you care?" and "I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression" from that prom list? It's also fine if you just want to take one :)

Friends or more...

F. Tony Scarapaducci x Reader

Space Force Netflix

A/N : Hi ! I agree it was good to open the request and I will do it really more often ! Angst usually my strong suit, but I give it a try and I hope you will like it. If you do, please let me know as an anon or not !  Thank you for your request.  

* English is not my first language, I tried really hard to correct myself but, I hope you will excuse me if some mistakes are still there.

---

You were in the control room that day, when the news about the pyromaniac astronaut came out. 

As much as you had tried, it had been hard for you and all of your co-worker to not turn around and watch, like in case of a car crash, the high general spit his guts against F. Tony. 

It’s true that it had been a true mistake. But, you still felt bad for the social media manager, knowing how difficult and messy it had been to find the volunteers.

For the past year, you had tried to create step by step a bond with the tall man. Succeeding more than you trough when, at the first laugh party, both drunk, you had shared a steamy kiss you never talked about after that night. 

Keeping your position at your computer, you wait for everybody to return to their work before going to the office of F. Tony. After such an awful scene, the little support of a friend will probably help him feel better. 

Approaching the door, hearing a muffled but still audible series of swears, you knock at the door, opening it slightly in the same move. 

“ What ! “ F. Tony shout.   

“ Hi...I thought that you might need a friend ? “ You simply tell, closing the door behind you. 

Passing a hand on his face, he faced you, more serious that you never saw him. F. Tony wasn’t the angry or the grumpy type in front of a problem. He was more the kind to accept the problem and work on a way to solve it, even if the solution he choose is completely stupid. But, right now, almost dominating you of all his stature, he was more looking like a tiger trap in a cage. 

“ I don’t need a damn friend, I need to fix that fucking situation ! “ He raged, taping now furiously on his phone. “ And then kill Brad “ 

Staying patient, trying to get closer, judging if the best approach wasn’t to simply leave, you made a few steps in his direction. 

“ That’s why I'm here, after what happened with the general I want to help you...” You said, watching him scrolling on his screen. 

“ Help me ?! “ He mocks, putting his phone down. “ The last person who said that to me was Hannah and you know what happened !“ He exclaimed. “ Anyway, why do you care !?”  

You knew you shouldn’t feel that way, but hearing him compare your offer of help as the false one that this snake of Hannah made him a long time ago, hurt you. Add to his angry and mocking attitude, your tone suddenly becomes more cold. 

“ Because I thought we were friends and maybe even more. You know it's funny, I even remember that you kiss me for a really long time one night. But maybe you don’t remember it since we never talk about it and you feel the need to ask me Why do I care. After all it’s not like you have a lot of friends to compare me to “ 

You didn’t know exactly why you had been so harsh or why you told him about the kiss. After almost a month, you had simply tried to persuade you that he simply didn’t remember and you had chosen to move on. 

It was a fact that F. Tony didn’t have many memories of that night. But, the gin tonic taste of your soft lips against his and the way you had loved yourself on his arms, your sleepy head on his shoulder, was one of his favorites. Unfortunately, the accumulation of all the problems and the recent humiliation he had to endure that day didn’t let him tell you, make him explode in a white rage

“ In my memories it’s you who almost fell on me, I only respond to your invitation ! ”

 “ You had pushed me on your way to the bar !” You gasp, getting closer, shouting. 

“ You was on the way with that stupid muscular spaceman ! “  He replied, shouting now too.

“ Maybe I should have kissed him ! “

“ Yeah, Maybe you should have ! ” F. Tony rage, jealousy slowly crawling in his body.

“ Wow I can’t believe that I though we’re at least friend”  

" I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression ! And as you can see I can resolve this fucking pyromaniac bad publicity problem by myself ! I don’t need nothing of you. I will just have to do a conference an make a list of all the stupid things they don’t tell me before. “ He replied, showing you a paragraph writing in a note app. “ If you can let me know, I have work to do “

Shame and anger now filling your veine, you close your fist, a million of sours replies flying in your mind. But, stepping back, turning on your heels you decide to simply let go, tears of anger and sadness already slowly flooding your eyes.     

“ And for your information I have friends ! “ He retorted as your hand touched the door handle. 

Biting your lips for a few seconds, you turn on yourself facing him one last time. 

“ No Fuck Anthony, they are not your friends. On a million of followers, you will maybe find two or three with whom you could become friends, but you don’t interact enough with them for that. No F. Tony. A friend is a person you can go hang out and call when you're in trouble or feel sad, even if it’s late at night. I think I was that person for you, but apparently I'm not. Good luck with all that. And for information...You’re an idiot ! “ You coldly reply, trying  without success to hide your emotion. 

Didn’t waiting for his answer, you stepped outside of the office, not noticing the shameful expression of his face in front of your gaze full of tears and the realization of what he had done. The only thing you heard was the Fuck he shout, as you take the way of the bathroom to calm yourself. 

---

The next day, as you enter your little office, relieved to not have met F.Tony in the stair. You suddenly stop on your track. 

On your desk was sitting an arrangement of most of your favorite flowers in a sky blue vase. Surprise, you take the little card hanging on one of the large leaves.

  “ I am an idiot, a moron, almost a troll. 

I’m sorry for what I said yesterday I was angry . Do you accept my request for friendship ?

Or more ? Because yes, I remember your pretty lips and i’m so glad that i’m the one you choose to kiss. 

Again, I’m an idiot and I’m sorry. 

Fuck Anthony Scarapaducci. 

#You talk a lot when your drunk and I remember your favorite flowers“

Giving a glance to the beautiful bouquet, trying to not grin like a fool. You reread the carte another time, hoping to do the right things, before taking your phone. Opening the contact of F. Tony, smiling at the tongues out picture he put for his contact when he gave you his number, you simply send him a quick text. 

“ Y/N has accepted your request of friendship...or more. “    

—

PLEASE don’t forget to Like, Comment or Reblog !

—

[barchie-fanfiction]

in case you missed it...

hello from your barchie-fanfiction admins! thanks for following us - over the next few days we’ll be posting some author masterlists of some heavy hitters in the fandom (think 5+ fics!), but until then... we thought everyone needed some more season five in their lives.

so, in case you missed them... a collection of completed fics (as of march 5th) that take place somewhere in season five canon (or not canon)!

pre time jump

(stop fighting) and know our love is real Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: General Length: 2,019 Summary: 3 times Archie starts coming to terms with potentially losing Betty and the 1 time he realises they will always be connected. Notes: Part 2/2 of The Truth series. 

(stop pretending) and let our love begin Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: General Length: 1,244 Summary: 3 times Betty lies, and the 1 time she finally admits the truth. Notes: Part 1/2 of The Truth series.

but we were something, don’t you think so? Author: societysgot Rating: General Length: 1,718 Summary: "Why didn't you tell me?" She tries to look him in the eye but finds that she can't, "That you were leaving." "Well I—" "Why Arch?" Notes: An alternate take on the bus scene, and before.

closing walls and ticking clocks Author: inthehallway Rating: Teen Length: 3,365 Summary: Maybe you need to consider why you’re really so terrified of him finding out. Is it only because you know you’ll lose him? Or is it also because you’re scared of the feelings you’ll be forced to face once he’s gone? After prom, Betty can't hide from the truth anymore. Notes: An alternate take on prom. AKA, everyone finds out.

Dancing is a dangerous game Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: General Length: 1,081 Summary: Based on the lyrics from “you’re a cowboy like me”. Betty-Barchie centric of an AU prom scene. Notes: AKA Archie and Betty actually dance like they should have.

for what it’s worth it was worth all the while Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 1,030 Summary: Betty slips into the back door of the Andrews house the way she has a thousand times before, but this morning it feels different...despite the fact that it still, somehow, feels like the most natural thing in the world. Notes: Takes place the last day of school. Aaaaand we’re sad again.

i’ve been looking sad in all the nicest places Author: societysgot Rating: Teen Length: 1,399 Summary: "It's not that simple," She went to place a hand on his arm, but he felt himself pulling away before she made contact. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "Well, it shouldn't be this hard." Notes: They talk!! They discuss things!! Betty actually knows that Veronica knows!! A gift.

If This Was A Movie Author: booksnshows Rating: General Length: 3,228 Summary: Betty Cooper has been dreaming of prom since she was a little girl. The truth is...she always pictured going with Archie Andrews. Notes: An alternate take on prom. Written early post S4.

so give me tonight Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 2,392 Summary: They (whoever they are, exactly,) say that prom night is supposed to be one of the best nights of your life. Archie Andrews would like to go on record saying that is absolute bullshit. Notes: Did someone say prom porch parallel?

there’s no warning when everything changes Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 1,525 Summary: The song sounds different coming from Veronica, so it doesn’t occur to Betty until she hears it: he’s not made for this world, and neither am I. Notes: A look is worth a thousand words. Sometimes, 1500 of them.

valentine Author: spideychoni Rating: Not Rated Length: 2,333 Summary: when things fall apart in archie and betty’s relationships, will they find each other again? a graduation after party changes everything for the blonde haired girl and the redheaded boy. Noted: A graduation after party?? Eyes emoji.

You Were The Someone Waiting For Me Author: darlingfilms Rating: Teen Length: 1,123 Summary: Picture this, it’s the senior prom in Riverdale and Betty and Archie go with their partners, but it’s clear who they’d rather be with. Notes: The author mentions there’s another chapter, but it’s marked as completed, so! Enjoy!

time jump

'tis the damn season Author: bettycooopers Rating: Mature Length: 13,878 Summary: you could call me babe for the weekend 'tis the damn season A Taylor Swift inspired "we're dating, but only during the holidays" AU told in five parts. Notes: Liberties taken - namely, they do talk within those years, and Archie doesn’t get deployed - but otherwise follows canon. Also, it’s epic.

all i want for christmas Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 3,527 Summary: Archie’s heard of an orphan Christmas before, but he didn’t actually think he’d have one...at least, not yet. Notes: Written pre-S5, so FP doesn’t leave! 

come home to my heart Author: inthehallway Rating: Mature Length: 9,248 Summary: He’s only been here for a few hours, and she already feels like a piece of her that’s been missing for too long is shifting back into place. But he's going to leave in a few days, and they'll have to say goodbye to each other all over again. She wonders if this will even be worth the pain it's going to cause them both in the end. Two years after graduation, Archie visits Betty at Yale. Notes: Sequel to didn’t know you were golden ‘til i tore your heart open. Written after S4, so Archie goes to the navy, not the army!   

post time jump

all the bad dreams that you hide Author: bettycooopers Rating: General Length: 2,708 Summary: Betty has control of the nightmares. At least, that's what she tells herself. Notes: Based off of that Roommates Theory we all fell prey to. What happened in Albany, Cher?! Tell us!!!

Honey Author: JemmaLynn13 Rating: Mature Length: 6,755 Summary: A post shower fic where Betty finds herself wearing Archie's bathrobe with no other clothes to change into. Notes: Seriously, how did this girl get home? Alice is gonna find out by 5x07, at this rate.

Hush, I’m Here Author: NewObsessed Rating: Teen Length: 1,350 Summary: He stares up at the ceiling. Everytime he closes his eyes, all he sees is the battlefield and his fellow soldiers laying motionless across the grounds. Still he tries to let sleep come. After what feels like mere seconds, his eyes pop open again. Only this time, it isn’t because of his nightmare. It's because of someone else’s. Her scream slices through the silence of the house. Notes: We may have lost roommates in canon, but not in fic!!! The potential, friends.

i am your secret, baby, watch me unfold Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 3,151 Summary: Betty turns on her stereo and pours herself a drink, smiling – the idea of parading around her empty house in lingerie with her makeup done and a highball glass of gin while she waits for Archie is appealing, to say the least. Notes: You know what we didn’t lose, though? Friends with benefits. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

“If I kissed you right now, what would you do?” Author: bettycooopers Rating: Not Rated Length: 765 Summary: It’s past midnight when Betty texts him and tells him to meet her outside the auto shop. He shrugs on a sweatshirt and texts her back (for any particular reason, betts?) as he’s making his way out of the house, not bothering to wait for her to answer. He knows he’s going to end up there, anyway. Notes: A fun mini ‘verse where Betty pretends for all of five seconds that 5x05 was a one time thing. Whatever you say, Cooper!

jump into the heat Author: MaiaSpeedster Rating: Teen Length: 444 Summary: As they kissed and undressed each other, Betty couldn’t help but to think how dumb she had been to waste all of these years. She already knew how good Archie was at kissing, but the way he ran his hands over her figure and pressed his body to hers… God, she had never felt anything like it. Notes: Betty’s thoughts during 5x05. Y’know. About that scene. We think you know the one.

just for now Author: staryu Rating: General Length: 713 Summary: where Betty leaves but Archie is sad and really wants her to stay. Notes: Everyone, including Archie, wanted him to ask Betty to stay during 5x06, right? It’s okay, Arch, fic’s got you covered.

let’s go somewhere they might discover us Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 3,670 Summary: Archie’s synapses are clearly slower than usual, but he manages to look over at her subtly enough and raise his brow in a want to get out of here sort of way and Betty smiles, looking over to Kevin. “I think I’m going to let,” she pats Archie on the shoulder and raises her brows, “Sergeant Andrews here walk me home.” Notes: Based off of 5x06 stills. Drunk Archie! Exhibionist Barchie! A Betty who is terrible at friends with benefits! Yeah!

light my fire  Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 2,797 Summary: Betty wakes up frustrated. She goes to bed frustrated. Riverdale is frustrating, in general – but the fact that she’s living in her childhood bedroom with Archie Andrews only a few hundred yards away, looking frustrating all the time is making it worse. Much worse. Notes: Based off of that still Roberto posted of Archie in firefighter gear. Yeah, you know the one. 

lock the door (and throw out the key) Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 8,269 Summary: Cheryl’s always been one for chaos, and this key party seems like the kind of thing that will cause it no matter who winds up together. Notes: What’s going to be more chaotic, the actual key party (if it happens), or the events of this fic? Place your bets! 

Love’s under a lock and key Author: creative_soul Rating: Mature Length: 3,306 Summary: Seven years have past since Betty left Riverdale behind. Seven years have passed since she last saw Jughead, Veronica and Archie... but now here she is seven years later on the steps of Thistle House. Notes: So... you’ve heard about the key party theory by now, right?

Our place, we make the rules Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: Teen Length: 1,816 Summary: Betty goes over to Archie’s house for a *not* midnight hookup the night of the shower scene but is surprised when Jughead answers the door. Post 5x05. Notes: Betty is the least subtle she’s ever been, and also made us laugh out loud with one line in particular.

tell me you love me on the bathroom floor Author: soldierwitch Rating: Mature Length: 804 Summary: It’s been seven years since Betty’s had Archie. Though in hindsight she realizes that what she had back then was just a taste. A chaste kiss on the lips, a slip of the tongue. Underneath the stream of water coming from his shower head, she wonders what she really knew of him physically. Notes: Set during the shower scene.

That Shower Scene Author: ThisCalmsMe Rating: Explicit Length: 3,420 Summary: Barchie shower scene, that's it. That's the summary. NOT for underage viewing. Notes: The author said it themselves, but you know what scene this is. Can you believe we get to tag this as canon? Us neither!

The Small Hours Author: network_connectivity_issues Rating: Teen Length: 2,632 Summary: Just a little angsty bonding between Betty and Archie based on some of the snippets and speculation coming out of the Time Jump trailer. Notes: This fic is god tier. End of.

Through Fire and Rain Author: Littlebarchie07 Rating: Teen Length: 1,218 Summary: The aftermath of the fire at Archie’s house, Betty asks him to stay with her. Takes place after 5x06 Notes: The 5x07 subplot we deserve!

Who’s That at the Door? Author: CanaryWidow Rating: Teen Length: 1,853 Summary: A 5x07 speculation fic where Betty and Archie are tiptoeing around their true feelings for each other in a FWB relationship. Reality, in the form of Glen, comes knocking at their door--literally. Notes: Give us jealous Archie, we’re here for jealous Archie!

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.” Author: staryu Rating: Not Rated Length: 473 Summary: here have jealous betty at a bar! Notes: Give us jealous Betty, we want jealous Betty!

“You didn’t have to scare me like that.” Author: bettycooopers Rating: Not Rated Length: 485 Summary: Betty wakes from the nightmare (the nightmare, the one she always has) gasping for air and presses her hand to her face. She sucks in a long breath, the way Dr. Starling had instructed – why she had even mentioned the nightmares to her mandatory therapist, she’s not sure, but the only thing that’s even come close to useful from their sessions has been the deep breathing. Notes: Okay, but we all had at least considered that Betty could’ve been pointing that gun at Archie, right?

you ought to keep me concealed just like i was a weapon Author: bettycooopers Rating: Explicit Length: 4,037 Summary: “We’re getting that fucking house back,” Betty says, her voice low. “There’s no other option.” Notes: We’re still yelling about this one.

[motsimages]

A list of Hollywood things that may be what real life is in the US and the equivalent situation in Spain. Feel free to add your own country. I’d love to know of other places :)

This is going to be long, so the TL:DR is there are many things I know about the US because of the movies, landscapes, hobbies, cultural things, everyday life things and sometimes they feel very normal or like something that happens in movies, no in between. They are neither and this is a list of differences I can think of in regards to Spain.

Click there to find out, there are pictures and all.

- Going to school by car, by bike or in a yellow bus: We either walk or your parents drive you (specially when you are too young to go by bus on your own or your parents are overprotective). Not really bike because bike lanes are a mess (in that they don’t exist) in Spain, it is dangerous. There are school buses if students come from places that are further but they’re average travel buses and once you are 16, you cannot use them. You have to go to school from 16 to 18 in public transportation because school is not mandatory after 16, it is understood it’s your choice. You may have a motorbike at 16 but I don’t know anybody who went to school in it. All of this is extra -fun- if you live in a village as in there may not be any bus service if it’s a small place or you live far apart from the village.

The picture is an average school bus with a woman in charge of picking up children. It looks like it’s in the country or maybe, the outside neighbourhoods of a city.

- Dating: we don’t date. If you like someone, you find a way to hang out with them and hope for the best. It may be more or less clear what is going on but it’s not a date, just a plan. You go to a restaurant/movies/theater... when you _are_ in a relationship or with friends. Not a date. The confusing hell it is to watch people saying things like “It’s a date! I’ll pick you up at 8!” Ok. Maybe they pick you up but still not a date. Also: not a problem if you have sex straight away or if you don’t feel like it (because there is no social obligation around it, no date). It seems to be a big deal when you are 30 and “never been in a date” but the first time I was in a date was with my current boyfriend _after_we started going out (I was 30 btw). I met him on a dating app, btw. Still don’t consider the first time we met “a date”. “Going on a date” maybe a thing but still probably based on movies.

- Prom: very confusing. Specially the part where you _have_ to have a _date_ (again, not something we do ever). If we do a ball (IF, also it wouldn’t be a “ball” as such but a “party”), it is actually expected to go on your own, with your friends. It would be a massive social pressure to go with the boy you like (with whom nothing happened prior to this) in front of people. Nah, you either go with your partner that you already have or with mates. But generally speaking, there is no “prom” or “graduation” in high school. In my high school, we spoke with a restaurant to have dinner, invited the teachers we liked and after that, went to local bars to party until the next morning when we went to see what grades we had received for the year. It was done like this so those who failed the exams could still party with the rest.

As for uni, maybe some other colleges do something but we didn’t (mainly because I studied translation and half of the people in my year were abroad that year). I don’t even have a picture of my graduation. People usually dress smart and then wear a band with the colour of their faculty.

The picture is graduation from Tourism (if I’m not mistaken). It shows a group of girls on a scene, all of them smartly dresses with an orange band on their shoulders. Their classmates are sitting on the grades of this “theater thing”, all wearing the same band.

- High School: in general, it’s very confusing. It seems to me like there is some kind of obsession with high school years given all the movies about high school and all the “childhood sweetheart” stories out there. For us, it is quite an irrelevant period of our lives, almost like school. You do it because you have to but often, life (and interesting things) happen AFTER high school. Our high schools don’t have lockers, you just carry 5 books in a backpack. But you have your class, only a couple of things take place in other rooms (maybe Science in the lab, or some optional subjects). Public schools close once the classes are over and all the activities you may want to do, you do them somewhere else (paying for them, most of the time). There are no School teams of anything, you don’t play against other schools either (maybe private schools do, I don’t know). In my high school, I remember for Spring we organised like a week of activities and you would sign up with your mates if anything. You and 2 others would make a basketball team to play in the Basketball league against other people in your class but it isn’t “The Official Team”. I remember there was a card tournament for the game of Mus (typical from Madrid). Also, we don’t have The Popular, The Band Kid, The Nerds, etc. clearly separated. There is bullying (but our toilets are not full of water so you cannot drown there) but either you are normal or you are the weird kid, so to say. I was a weird kid who suffered some light bullying and then I went to average, with no bullying. Overall, everyone speaks with each other and unless it’s a severe case of bullying (which there are), there are no underdogs or closed groups. We don’t have yearbooks AT ALL and this “Clown of the class” thing? I personally find it borderline problematic.

Picture of an average high school in Spain. It’s separated in two halfs. On the left, there is a couple of people carrying backpacks in a corridor. It’s quite dark, a window at the end giving light to the corridor. On the right, one of the doors of the corridor is open and shows a classroom. There are lots of green tables and chairs, all of them in pairs. At the end there is a blackboard. The light comes from the window.

- Alcohol consumption and other drugs: We can drink at 18 and it’s not a big deal if you get drunk. By the time you’re 18, your parents have seen you drunk more than once. You may have gotten drunk with your parents. You’ve seen them drunk more than once. Spain is quite an alcoholic society, tbh. BUT we do not like aggressive drunkards or dependant drunkards. You can get drunk but you have to be able to still be nice. Your friends will stop hanging out with you if you get drunk too often, too heavy or too badly (and you will find those who follow you, obvs). We do it to socialize and have fun, not to knock out. Weed is partially legal (I don’t really know the law, you can get fined for carrying but not arrested, you can buy paraphernalia in shops, there are cannabis clubs, people can smoke on the street in the open, you can grow it at home, it can be used for medical purposes or recreational). Other drugs are illegal though personal use may be allowed? I don’t know but I do know that it’s relatively easy and cheap to find other harder drugs, and so, they are commonly used at parties. The 80s were a complicated time in Spain because the heroine consumption was over the roof. It killed many many people in that generation.

- Houses: in cities, it’s more frequent for people to live in a flat. Depending on the time when this flat was built, the quality of the materials will be better, the flat will be bigger or smaller. Houses are something you see mainly in villages and they tend to be next to each other, no garden (maybe a patio). In the last 20-30 years, people started to show an interest in something that looks like “suburbs” from the movies (even though “suburbio” in Spanish actually means the full opposite of “suburbs”) but it doesn’t fit the weather nor the way we live and I personally hate them. And wooden houses are out of this world, everything here is made of stone or brick. Traditional houses here are made of stone with thick walls (up to one meter of thickness). I attach pictures of houses in the North of Spain. Southern houses are full white, no wooden structures to be seen from the outside.

A village in what looks like the North of Spain. There is a lot of vegetation, you can see some white and brown houses in a grass field. There is a tower at the back. We see a town square with houses made of stone, red roof and wooden balconies. Most of the walls are painted white, some aren’t and you can see the stone itself.

- Physical contact: in the movies, people rarely hug. It seems to me that maybe in the 80s-90s people hugged, touched more on screen. At some point in the 2000s it stopped and now you have people crying their eyes out and their best friend just standing there. We stand closer to each other and touch each other to show care, interest and affection very often. Some people in Spain are not very tactile (and thus, really like Northern Europe) but generally speaking, if someone cries, you hug them (unless you know they don’t want it, in which case you stay nearby). Heterosexual men also hug and also hold each other by the shoulder, for instance. I know this is a shock for some foreigners (don’t know if in the US it would be). From the times I’ve met US people, they’re not only surprised but sometimes actually scared that people touch them. Not even Asians react the way US people do to physical contact in Spain. BTW, when I say “touch”, I mean “the arm, shoulder” mainly. Other places require closer levels of friendship. However, you may kiss your partner/lover anywhere in the street, it’s ok, usually goes unnoticed by people. Even my parents grab each others asses occasionally in the street.

This picture is from La Torre de Suso, where 4 friends gather after 10 years of being apart because an old friend died. It also touches on drug addiction and the 80s. It shows 4 men in their 40s wearing a jacket and a tie, smartly dress, smiling and about to hug each other in the middle of the street of what looks like a small town.

- Welcoming someone to the neighbourhood: apparently, people bring cakes to the new comers. We don’t, you’ll eventually meet your neighbours. Or not. But you have to say hello to the people you see on the stairs of your flat, in the street you live. In small towns/villages, you have to greet everyone you know, at least say “hi”, ideally actually stop for small talk (I’m terrible at this but getting better now that I live in a small town).

- Church: it seems to be a big part of people’s lives. Very often, people are going to church, all ceremonies seem to be religious (marriage, death...) and they tend to be Christian (sometimes Jewish but they seem to be less involved in their religious life?, or maybe the movie is done by non-religious people?). In Spain, everything is Catholic and at the same time, it isn’t. Many traditions are Catholic and people enjoy them but they aren’t Catholic themselves. There are churchgoers, of course. There are Catholic cults with massive power in politics and society (Opus Dei, mainly). But we had a fascist Catholic dictatorship and many people got very tired of it. To give you an idea of how things usually go: everyone in my village eats the same meal (fish and garbanzo beans for lunch, potato omelette for diner) on Good Friday (even my family, where nobody has ever been religious willingly). Only old people and some very Catholic families go to church. Most holidays are related to Catholic Saints (this gives us lots of long weekends and days off during the year) and they are often celebrated with a town fair that lasts several days.

In theory, Spain has no religion. In reality, it is Catholicism. In schools/high schools there is a subject called “Religion” and almost always it’s about Catholicism (teachers of this subject, even in public schools, are related to the Church somehow). It is not mandatory but often there is no alternative if you don’t want to take it (I was the only child who didn’t attend and had my own homework during that time that my mother chose for me: Ethics).

The image is from El Rocío, an important religious fair that takes place in the South of Spain. Many local fairs look similar to this. Lots of people are gathered in a small temporary white hut, decorated with garlands (white and red) and the flag of Andalusia that is green and white. There is a bar with small glasses of white wine and some plates with food on them.

This said, it’s very frequent to get married at the Town Hall with a couple of witness and it’s also very frequent for burials to happen in the Tanatorio, where people can say goodbye to their loved one but it’s not in church.

And even many church goers are not devoted Christians, are open minded about LGBT issues or other, for instance.

- Prison: We don’t have death penalty but people can spend their life in prison if their crimes are massive and they add years and years to their sentence. Prisons here are public and as far as I’ve seen in Spanish movies, there are no uniforms, you wear your everyday clothes. You will only go to prison if you committed a serious crime or if you have several small crimes. Often, the first time it’s a reduced sentence that can be made into paying a fine. The second time you will go to prison. This happens even for domestic violence/rape which usually causes great controversy in society. You can leave earlier if you behave well (very earlier actually) and sometimes you can leave the weekend and the come back to prison, or leave for x hours and come back to sleep. It depends on the sentence and behaviour, etc. I’d say terrorism is the hardest charge and right now, they are using terrorism as an excuse to sentence activists (there quite a lot of political prisoners in Spain).

I mention crimes because you have to have LOTS of other offences to go to prison. They usually are just fined.

The picture is from the movie Cell 211 which is an excellent movie. Do watch it. It shows the main character, a bold man with a goatie wearing a sweater whose sleeves have been cut off. He looks serious. On the background, many men wearing everyday sports clothes cheer and look in the same direction as him.

- Laws: I don’t know Spanish law very well (it bothers me to say that I may know better what to do with the police in the US than in Spain) but it seems to me, from the movies, that many things are made into a massive deal in the US. Like jaywalking is apparently an offence of some kind? Here you can just cross the street wherever. People respect the crossing path for safety but it’s not a crime to not do it. People also don’t sue companies or other people as often and it’s usually not that big of a deal maybe? In any case, it’s a completely different legal system.

. The 50s: The 50s in the US are fancy and colourful. Society seems to have been thriving, everything was getting better. In Spain, the hunger years were starting to be over but many people were poor. We were in the worst of the Franco dictatorship, it was quite a rural society that had been destroyed by a civil war (the effects of which are still being felt). Rich people were fascist, poor people could be anything (many were actually communists, republican or other leftist). This is not a happy time in Spain. Many people had left to be refugees in other countries, many were leaving illegally to work in Germany or France. The music we listened to at the time was definitely not Elvis Presley (look for Lola Flores or Miguel de Molina, even though he ended up fleeing the country because he was openly gay and republican and they almost killed him once).

This image is from the movie Los Santos Inocentes, based on a book of the same title. A classic of Spanish modern literature and cinema. This is the way most people looked in the 50s in Spain. Even now old people look like this in villages.

It is like a family picture in front of a white house. Everyone is wearing black, dark blue, dark green or grey. From left to right, there is a boy sitting on a bench that is situated next to the door. Next, it’s a young girl wearing a long grey skirt and a dark green jacket. By the door, the mother holds a very thin boy who seems to be either deeply sick or dead. She wears mostly black and gray. The boy has the brightest green in the scene. Next to her, there is a man wearing a gray jacket and a bonet and finally, there is an older man that seems to be smiling (the only one smiling, everyone else has a serious and gloomy face).

And that’s what I can think of right now.

[wigwurq]

WIG REVIEW: THE PROM

You guys. Remember when just last week week I LOLed at my mom when I told her I had finally watched the lesbian holiday movie (The Happiest Season) and she thought I meant The Prom and I told her (and then you, dear readers!) that it would take me forever to hate watch that. WELL I JUST HATE WATCHED THAT. There is a lot to discuss, you guys. ALSO WIGS.

We begin in “New York City” or the CGI hellscape replication of it. Nothing about this movie is authentic except for maybe NY1′s theater reporter, Frank Dilella at the opening of a fake musical called “Eleanor! The Eleanor Roosevelt Musical!” which is meant to be a hilarious joke (it is not) starring Meryl Streep as Eleanor and James Corden as FDR and JOKE IS ON THEM AND US because why are they in this terrible movie and why the hell am I watching it? Oh right: THE WIGS. YOU GUYS THE WIGS. Meryl, who is truly slumming more in this than any other actor in this garbage also has to endure the very worst wig. SHE DID HAVE AN EVEN WORSE WIG IN MARY POPPINS RETURNS. But here this wig is so very much a bad wig that I struggled for a while wondering if this was going to be a wig within the narrative but no. Sadly, it looks like a castoff from some QVC Liza Minnelli wig collection.

AND EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE DRESSED IN A QVC LIZA MINNELLI NON-HALSTON SEQUIN COLLECTION GHOSTMARE (Liza should probably trademark that tho). I HAVE NEVER SEEN SO MANY SEQUINS OUTSIDE OF DAVID GEST’S GUEST HOUSE. Also, after the fake Eleanor musical opens, Meryl and James retire to “Sardis” or the CGI version of it where they discover that their show got (gasp!) bad reviews. EVERYONE LEAVES IMMEDIATELY except Meryl, James, Andrew Rannells who is another actor/bartender and NICOLE KIDMAN.

SHE IS ALSO WEARING SEQUINS AND HAS A BAD WIG. But we are talking about Nicole Kidman, so the chances of her wearing a bad wig are 110%. I couldn’t honestly tell you what her role is in this other than “another Broadway actress”(?) Her wig is likely the same one that Joanna Lumley wore for 10 seasons as Patsy in Absolutely Fabulous which has in the last decade or so been slowly decaying in a crawlspace somewhere only to reappear on the head of Nicole Kidman in the role of “another Broadway actress” in this movie. Anyway, all these washed up randos decide they need to stop acting and start activist-ing and pin all their hopes on a lesbian in Indiana who wanted to go to the prom and got the whole prom shut down due to smallmindedness. They travel to Indiana in a non-equity Godspell touring bus during which time my husband asked me who designs bus seats and truly: that is a question more profound and interesting than anything you will find in this “film.” But I do have many questions! If these actors have all been on Broadway and Meryl’s character has a few Tonys even, why do they need to bus it to Indiana?!?!

Anyway, over in “Indiana” (all places are actually LA or a set or a CGI hellscape), there is a big community meeting or something which is still all about not having a prom, because the only damn thing that matters in this community is THE PROM. The NYC actors show up and turn the meeting into a musical extravaganza with Meryl and her tragic wig center stage. More questions!! As a theater piece, it would make sense for this whole meeting to suddenly become a musical performance complete with spotlight entrances and sparkle curtains because it is already all fantasy. Ryan Murphy has no interest in creating a more realistic presentation in this new medium and just lets that happen here too? Sure - I guess the actors could have just arrived with all stage cues and crews to make this happen (LOLOL NO THEY COULDN’T) and this is honestly exactly why most stage to screen adaptations rarely work (though to be very fair - I had just about as much interest in seeing this on stage as on TV - negative 1000%). All realism, logic, quality, are not at all what this “movie” is aiming for. JUST SEQUINS! CONSTANT GODDAMNED SEQUINS! 

It should be noted that Kerry Washington plays the conservative PTA mom at the center of canceling prom and bitch got away with the very best wig! Also the big spoiler here is that her daughter is the secret lesbian love of the lesbian she is trying to stop from going to the prom! GASP! Kerry also made really terrible career choices this year between this and Little Fires Everywhere which also involves secret lesbians. 

Also those lesbians have a love song that looks like this - aka that one scene in the loathsome La La Land which was itself completely derivative. There are many (many!) derivative scenes in this movie - a later one on a staircase with Nicole Kidman is a clear nod to that one staircase scene in All That Jazz (RIP ANN REINKING!) This was all done intentionally for us theater nerds but also all the movies it ripped off I also hated so? NO THANK YOU THE PROM. ALSO THE MAIN LESBIAN’S GRANDMOTHER IS PLAYED BY MARY KAY PLACE AND I LOVE MARY KAY PLACE FYI. 

Anyway! The NYC actors start their very ill-advised get-back-the-Prom campaign at......CGI monster truck rally wherein Andrew Rannells wears THIS GODDAMNED COAT. Trying to find any logic or realism in this movie is about as foolhardy as being Andrew Rannells wearing this coat and singing a musical theater song at a CGI monster truck rally in “Indiana.” 

Also! Keegan Michael Key is in this (WHO I LOVE ALWAYS) as the liberal principal who is trying to make prom happen. He also is a HUGE MUSICAL THEATER FAN though that doesn’t actually translate to being gay - it translates to him being obsessed with Meryl Streep who is his favorite stage actress. Sure! It all turns into Keegan Michael Key being a love interest with Meryl Streep which I DID NOT SEE COMING but I would love to watch an actual rom com with the two of them and not whatever this is? THEY HAVE A DATE AT AN APPLEBEES YOU GUYS HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.

At said Applebees (or “Applebees” more accurately because I’ve never seen one that sparkles like this), Keegan has a nice ballad which I couldn’t possibly hum for you now where he sings about the escapism of THEATRE and there is a flashback to him seeing Meryl in a musical called “Swallow the Moon” which is a pretty hilarious title and the whole thing looks exactly like another Liza Minnelli fashion show - this time with maybe a circus theme? At any rate, Meryl’s flashback wig is longer and more of a fashion bob but is still very fretful. 

I would like to take this opportunity to say that although I never saw The Prom musical on Broadway, from the pictures I have seen, Beth Leavel’s wig (in the same role as Meryl) is vastly superior in every way, despite the fact that stage wigs are allowed to be different/inferior as they are viewed from further away and not in bitter bitter closeup. 

Meryl looks great in close-up by the way BUT THAT WIG!!! I couldn’t find a good picture of it, but the hair part (if you can call it that?) is a dangerous ravine of mysteries none of which have anything to do with looking like real hair. MERYL HAS MORE OSCARS THAN ANYONE HOW WAS SHE GIVEN THIS WIG?! HOW!!!!!

Anyway, back to the “plot” of this movie, the PTA somehow agree to having a prom and all the kids go around prom-posaling (which is an awful horrible thing that I’m glad I was never part of) and which truly begs the question: if the kids hadn’t prom-posaled (UGH) to begin with, how did word get out that two lesbians were going and how did this prom get derailed in the first place? WHY AM I ASKING ABOUT PLOT HOLES WHEN THIS ENTIRE THING IS A PLOT HOLE?!?!?! So they have the prom, but it’s all an elaborate and cruel ruse and the real prom is at some hotel and the fake prom only for this one sad lesbian is a really depressing affair in the school gym (THIS PART OF THE MOVIE IS LEGIT HORRIBLE AND SAD). So Nicole Kidman, in the very important role of “another Broadway actress” that definitely needed to exist, decides to tell her to just “razzle dazzle ‘em” (WHICH ABSOLUTELY MEANS NOTHING IN THIS CONTEXT) in a very Fosse inspired (AND INCREDIBLY NIGHTMARE INDUCING) and also very confusing number. Also Andrew Rannells convinces a bunch of teenagers in a mall to like gay people! Mazel!

ALSO TRACEY ULLMAN IS IN THIS MOVIE AND NO ONE TOLD ME AND SHE HAS AN AWFUL WIG! So ok - James Corden, who I normally adore, plays a gay character with an American accent and in conclusion, is very miscast in this role. One of the few things Ryan Murphy has done which I actually liked was the revival of Boys in the Band (the play - I have yet to watch the movie!) And the entire cast was gay men playing gay men. Not sure why he then cast James Corden in this role because it’s not like we’re having a shortage of gay men who can sing? A friend of mine rightly pointed out that this character should have been played by Titus Burgess and VERY YES. Anyway, that’s not what happened and anyway, Tracey Ullman plays his mother who he reconnects with and I’m pretty sure the wig she wears was from her own collection from one of her past sketch shows and though I applaud wig recycling, bitch deserved better.

So yes - all these Broadway actor characters inexplicably are still in Indiana just TRYING TO MAKE THE PROM HAPPEN and Meryl, who somehow has both a celebrity ex husband and a Hamptons house (AGAIN WHY DID SHE TAKE A BUS TO INDIANA) uses both to get the main lesbian a forum on TV but she doesn’t take it and instead makes a singer-songwriter YouTube video which everyone on earth simultaneously watched!!! We are supposed to believe that this random video got 8 million views and she decides to use that leverage to make her own inclusive prom. This is a very lovely idea but again: not based in reality so Keegan is all: girl we need $$ to have a prom and somehow she doesn’t immediately make a go-fund me from all those YouTube views she got and instead all these actors throw down their credit cards to fund The Prom which is really horrifying knowing about real events which will totally make all those actors very unemployed (#2020) and YES I KNOW THIS MOVIE IS THE OPPOSITE OF REALITY BUT STILL.

In the end, ALL OF LIZA MINNELLI’S NON-HALSTON SEQUIN COLLECTION QVC FASHIONS get their own damn prom and even Kerry Washington shows up in the most outrageous sequined number after her daughter finally comes out to her and everyone dances it out and life is reaffirmed and Meryl’s wig IS STILL A PILE OF GARBAGE AS IS THIS MOVIE.

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

[readersguidetotheuniverse]

Folie a Trois: a group read of... More Than Maybe by Erin Hahn

The supporting characters

Ariadna: From Zack to Meg, Phil to Marcus... I really liked that the supporting characters had background and depth... for a YA romance novel, that it is. Ok, they are not the deepest, most exceptional characters –they are a little bit stereotyped, and everything is sooo rose-coloured tinted–, but I appreciate how the relationships between them are depicted and how every one of them has their own unique quirks and background story. Nevertheless, I must add... I think Hahn’s attempt to make all the characters these goody-two-shoes has made some characters sort of a decaf version of what they should realistically be, see Charlie Greenly, Phil Josephs, Cullen... At times they were so soft they became even boring to me. I understand Hahn’s religious views, but honestly, no one is that good.

Alicia: I liked the supporting characters quite a lot, actually, all of them. In many young adult novels you find rather flat secondary characters that only exist to complement the main characters, but not in this one. All of them were complex, with their own defined personalities and their own stories. There were a few moments when I got a bit irritated by someone's actions, Cullen uploading Luke's song behind his back, for example. But real people are flawed and make mistakes so it's only fair that fictional characters do, too. 

Marina: First off, I have to say I loved all the secondary characters. I have to agree with Ariadna though, they are not overly deep but they get you right on the feels. I especially enjoyed seeing the different relationships between them –Zach and Cullen <3–. To be honest I found it a bit frustrating that they all kept telling Vada how amazing she is and how well she’s doing but it takes Luke, a person whom she’s officially met recently, to stand up to her dead-beat father. Talking about fathers, Phil is an amazing father figure and I’m really glad he at least encouraged Vada to follow her dreams. On a side note, can I just say that the first time I read about Cullen and Zach I pictured a more lanky version of Emmett Cullen dating Zeke (from high School Musical)? And that’s why I found it hilariously amusing when they started talking about Teen Wolf. Whatever happened to those DVDs?!

The ‘Bad Apple’ club aka Charlie Greenly

Ariadna: We all grasp to certain extent how business —corporate, big-money businesses— work, and it is understandable Charlie’s nasty partners took advantage of a teen’s rage burst, but, oh, man, how it bothered me when they tried to ruin poor Phil’s fund-raiser... What bothered me the most, though, is how Charlie Greenly was that blind, how he couldn’t see, beyond his own interests, how important the Loud Lizard was for Luke, his friends and for Ann Arbor, or to what extent the whole ‘Break for You’ issue bothered his own son. I honestly think his heroic act at the end doesn’t quite redeem him of the harm he has done. Besides, Charlie was supposed to be a Punk-rock star... What’s really left of that personality? Has her wife and kids completely transformed him into a dull wimp? Not quite believable, this character is. 

Alicia: Charlie made me so mad at him that sometimes I wanted to throw the book across the room. I understand parents always think they know best, it's in their parent DNA. But it was really frustrating and irritating how he kept trying to get Luke to do whatever he wanted, without considering what his son actually wanted. He kept trying to convince Luke to do something he had stated time and time he didn't want to do and was not going to do. He used him for his own interests and treated him kinda badly just cause he didn't fit with his own expectations for him. Realistic as it could be for most people, it's still shitty. It's almost cathartic how he redeems himself at the end by quitting Bad Apple to support his son but that doesn't change his shitty behavior towards Luke during most of the novel. 

Marina: I mean Charlie didn’t seem the brightest of the Greenly family, to be honest. I think he should probably listen to his sons more (and his wife). I find it hard to believe he didn’t know what he was getting into. He was a famous punk-rocker at a time where you had to be clever and sharp-witted, like, is he smart enough to stay away from hard drugs and keep his career afloat (and later become an accomplished music producer) but not know how to choose business partners? Apparently. And talking about his previous life as a punk-star… Can he stop trying to live his life through Luke? It finally dawned on him in the end, yes, but throughout the book Luke (and later Cullen) explicitly told him he didn’t want to be famous, it doesn’t excuse his behaviour!

Soundtrack

Ariadna: While some of the tracks on this book’s OST are not my cup of tea (see Demi and Taylor), I must confess: I’ve been listening to TøP the whole week. Hahn got me at Car Radio *shrugs*. Working in the book industry, I’ve always felt books, when possible, should offer something extra. I really love that this book, even more considering it is addressed to teens and YA, offers this little something to connect it to the readers’ real world, to make the story even more realistic. I think it is a loss that the book itself doesn’t include a QR code or a link to a playlist itself, but it is an easy search away in Spotify, thanks to some nice reader that has already put it up!

Alicia: I just had this one little issue with the music/artists mentioned in the novel: Vada hates Stevie Nicks and consequently I hate Vada. There won't be any hate towards Stevie Nicks in my presence. She is an excellent artist and I will not hear otherwise. Other than that I actually loved how important music in general is in the novel and how many real actual songs are shared along the story. I expected to find mostly alternative/indie bands so there was no surprise there. And music can tell a lot about someone so it was interesting to see the music Luke and Vada listen to, to understand them better. Also it was really nice to get so many songs in so many different styles to actually discover new songs myself. I'm really happy about how music really does play an important part in the book. 

Marina: I’ve mentioned I like it when authors add their little soundtracks to the books but this one goes far beyond that. You get to listen to the songs throughout the characters’ actions and feelings and the music is not only an add-on but it becomes part of the plot. Which, granted, it’s a book about a girl who writes reviews about bands and a boy that writes songs, how can music not be part of the book? But it goes beyond the “here’s a song that inspired this chapter/book/scene” to a basic subplot. Coincidentally, we all looked up different songs on Spotify because we hadn’t heard them before and we found a playlist made by a reader, we hope you enjoy it too!

Vada and Luke’s relationship

Ariadna: It is interesting to read a YA romance novel in which the main action doesn’t revolve 100% around the romance. It is way healthier than most: both Vada and Luke have clear goals and motivations that are not biased by their relationship, they motivate and encourage each other, there is no narcissistic chauvinist - submissive flower dynamics going on —thank the gods–, and they are supercute and honest with themselves. However —I always have one of these–, it is still a naive teen relationship, mostly in terms of the plotting and the writing. Surprisingly —see the irony— they both have had crushes on each other for years, but they haven’t acted upon it until now. They NEVER fail, get mad, do any bad deeds... ANYTHING. Are they even teenagers? Honestly, I hate when the characters in a book are these holier-than-thou perfection vessels. Added to the not-really-that-big-of-a-deal problems (what happened with the instagram issue? What about Vada’s funds for college? They don’t even really get *really* mad because of the Bad Apple thingy...), they feel kind of bland and not too realistic for my tastes. 

Alicia: At the beginning I thought it was a bit rushed, how quickly they trusted each other considering they had barely interacted before. Even if they had a crush on the other that doesn't mean they actually knew that person, not really. As they spent more time together and got to know each other, their relationship evolved pretty organically and naturally, to a point when it just made sense. It was really cute to see how they got closer through awkward encounters and how their passion for music helped them connect and relate to the other. Having read many young adult romances, it gets old very fast. The stories get kinda predictable and hard to believe. This one also had some predictable moments, almost all of them do, but overall it was a really nice love story, one I could actually believe. 

Marina: To be honest, I expected this book to be less about the music and more about the relationship between Luke and Vada. I think what Erin Hahn accomplished in this book is to show a much more mature relationship than I expected. I thought this would be your typical YA-Romance with a lot of drama and kissing, but instead I got a slow-burn story (so slow, it felt like moving through molasses) with depth, insecurities and, yes, drama. I think both these characters are more mature than expected on a YA romance novel and it was surprisingly refreshing. You still get some teenage-y sub-plots, i.e. the prom or even the 15-minutes of fame; but it doesn’t take away from the blossoming relationship between Luke and Vada.

The Grass is Greenly and Behind the Music 

Ariadna: I must be growing too old for this s**t, but I don’t get the whole podcast/blog thing. I get it, social networking does this kind of thing: turning a nobody into an internet sensation in a matter of days, but... I agree with Alicia, it is too much of a coincidence (one of the deus-ex-machina I so much hate) that both the main characters are internet-known... in a blog, nonetheless! Maybe Hahn could have used precisely this internet presence to make Vada and Luke meet each other, instead of the too-worn-out high-school cliché. And Marina has made me think... maybe some interludes as Cullen’s podcasts, letting us know some behind-the-scenes gossip (The Lindsay issue, Luke and Vada’s first kiss becoming viral, and so on...), would have spiced up the novel a bit more.

Alicia: Okay here's the part I just didn't believe and kind of threw me off a bit. What are the chances of a music blog and a podcast, both run by teenagers of the same age in the same city in the same bar, becoming really popular and actually viral. Who even reads blogs anymore anyway? (Says while writing in a blog). It was just quite hard to believe so many people read Behind the Music that even ROLLING STONE became interested. Yeah sure this extremely known successful music magazine wants a fresh out of high school blogger to work for them. And then the podcast. What could two teens have to say to have a podcast so popular that when Cullen uploads Luke's song it literally gets millions of reproductions and attracts attention everywhere. And both of them being run by two people working in the same place, going to the same high school… the world is not actually that small. Sorry it's just kind of extremely unrealistic and didn't particularly like that part. 

Marina: Seeing the “behind-the-scenes” of the day to day of a podcast was very interesting. I guess it would have been better if Cullen told the story as he is the one that does most of the work. Also, how did they get that famous? Is it just because of their dad? I don’t really get it. On the other side, I find it incredibly unbelievable that a teenage girl has that much input on a music blog that isn’t even hers and gets to go to concerts and stuff like that. I get that Phil is a cool guy but how come the blog is so famous and he doesn’t really care about it or mentions it much during the book besides sending Vada places? I just don’t understand that.

Overall

Ariadna: Honestly, I’m not one for YA romance novels, I think I’ve outgrown them by far, and they usually bore me. That said, this book has surprised me for good. It is a light read, doesn’t follow the genre clichés, it doesn’t make everything revolve around the main characters’ love interest, the supporting characters have personalities of their own and it has a wide-ranged well-put playlist, which I think is great for teens and young adults to read. I particularly didn’t like the religious issues coming up from time to time, but, overall, this is the best written book of the three we’ve already read for Folie a Trois, and that’s a lot to say! 

Alicia: Overall it was a really cute book. Initially it took me a while to get into it cause the plot wasn't exactly what I thought it would be, that was a tad disappointing. But then once you begin knowing the characters and they begin to know each other as well it's quite captivating and easy and quick to read. I really enjoyed the love story, I loved how diverse the characters are and how they interacted. I really like how the plot develops, too. If you're looking for a soft, cute, easy enjoyable read I definitely recommend this one. 

Marina: As most YA books that I read, it was entertaining but it didn't change my life. I really did like Vada and Luke's relationship, as I said I find it more mature for this genre; the music was a big highlight and the drama wasn't overwhelmingly dumb (as is the case in some other books). Overall a good book for summer and a light read for any other season ;)

[seriouslyhooked]

I Luv You (A CS HS AU)

Reader prompted CS High School AU oneshot where Emma and Killian are friends but Emma wants more. There’s miscommunication (Emma thinks he loves someone else), but ultimately a cute and fluffy ending. Available on FF here and AO3 here. 

A/N: Hey all! I have had quite a few of you ask for more high school AUs for Emma and Killian, and my muse rarely trends in that direction. But, after many many months of trying to find a story that worked, I stumbled across this song, ‘I Luv You’ by Sofia Carson and R3MIX. One of the lyrics has been stuck in my head on repeat, and I’ve thought of how wonderful it would be to incorporate into a CS drabble. As such, this story centers around Emma and Killian meeting in their senior year of high school. Killian is new to their school, having moved from the UK, but they’ve instantly clicked and prom season is coming up. Emma wants to go with Killian, but she’s aware that he might not be over someone else from his past, then, because I’m addicted to fluff, it all turns out to be a great big misunderstanding. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy and thanks so much for reading!

Everything’s going to be fine. I can handle this. I can get over him. Maybe? Someday? Oh God.

Closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath, Emma shook away the anxious thoughts that had clung to her for weeks. She didn’t want to linger in them, but she couldn’t let them go. Everywhere she went they followed, and there seemed to be no reprieve. As a result, she was a stressed-out mess, and her ability to hide her feelings was growing weaker and weaker by the minute.

“I don’t know why you’re so worried about this, Ems,” her friend Ruby said casually from where she was perched on Emma’s kitchen countertop, eating directly out of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s chunky monkey.

Ruby’s legs dangled as she swiped the last of the ice cream from her spoon greedily. She’d downed a full carton just this afternoon, the calories and sugar rush a non-issue. Emma knew if she tried that her mother would probably have a fit, but Ruby could get away with anything in the Nolan house. Emma’s parents had adored her since Emma and Ruby’s first day of kindergarten all those years ago when Ruby announced to the class that Emma was her ‘bestest friend’ and anyone who messed with her was ‘gonna know her wrath.’ At age five Emma had no idea what that meant, but to this day her Mom and Dad adored Ruby. She was loyal and courageous, and she’d lived up to her promise, proving to be the best friend Emma could ask for.

“I’m not worried,” Emma replied, but the declaration was hollow and lacked conviction.

“You’re gonna need to work on your acting, girl,” Ruby said with a sigh and a sad headshake, as if Emma’s attempt at seeming okay was just pitiable. “But seriously, all this stressing is for nothing. Killian is totally going to ask you to prom. He’s gonna swoop in with everything but a white horse, tell you he loves you, and steal your heart.”

“Ruby,” Emma whispered, chastising her friend but without much conviction. She wanted to reprimand Ruby for her fanciful ideas, but she couldn’t form more words in the face of someone stating exactly what she dreamed of.

“And honestly, it’s about time. You’ve been dancing around each other for ages. I mean I love a good slow burn, but this is just ridiculous.”

It certainly felt like Ruby was right, but Emma knew better than to believe that. No matter how many butterflies might take flight within her every time she saw him, or how many times her thoughts drifted to the handsome boy who’d become one of her closest friends, Emma knew that the feelings in her heart were one sided. Killian was in love with someone else, a girl back where he was from who he’d known before moving here. She still had his heart, and so Emma never could. She only wished that everyone else understood, maybe then they’d stop always talking like the two of them being together was a given.

“You’re one to talk. Dee, asked you to prom literally months ago, before prom was even announced.”

“Of course she did. She’s my girlfriend. Plus, she wanted to lock me down. I’m a hot commodity, as you well know.”

Emma rolled her eyes at Ruby’s antics. Her best friend loved to talk a big game, but since meeting her girlfriend, Dorothy, last year she’d been nothing but the picture of fidelity. She was smitten as could be and very much in love, but Ruby was determined to be considered a ‘wild child’ and Dorothy, or Dee, as everyone called her, was only happy to oblige.

“Okay well new rule, happily coupled off ‘besties’ don’t get to tell the single one not to worry.”

“Ugh, fine. But only because I love you and you used the word ‘besties’ with only limited sarcasm. I’m totally wearing you down.”

Emma bit back a smile and shook her head, but she was grateful for the out Ruby provided her. It wasn’t her friend’s natural instinct to walk back her opinion, and it showed Emma how much their friendship mattered to Ruby that she’d even try to do so.

“Also, I may or may not have agreed to be part of a conspiracy meant to distract you and then guide you to an important event that I cannot actually tell you about because I swore myself to secrecy.”

“Come again?” Emma asked, totally confused even as her pulse began to beat in faster time. Secret plot? What the heck was that? And why did she feel like it involved a certain hot, charismatic, and irresistible boy she could never stop thinking about?

“Wish I could explain, but that’s the whole thing about swearing yourself to secrecy, you kind of have to mean it. Mums the word, or whatever people say.”

“Ruby, what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything except for making one teeny tiny little promise.”

“And that promise was…?”

“To make sure you stayed right here until…” she glanced at the time on the stove and smiled, “Now. All right, two minutes from now, but still. You get the drift.”

“Ruby, I don’t understand.”

“Emma,” Ruby said taking Emma’s hand and squeezing it gently, “You know I would never steer you wrong, right? I can’t get into it, but let’s just say there’s a reason I’ve been promising you that everything for prom would work out.”

Emma took Ruby’s words in and did the simple math: Ruby had been telling her not to worry about Killian asking because she knew he was planning to. He had told Ruby somehow, convincing her to help him with this surprise, and Ruby had agreed. It made Emma’s heart thump loudly in her chest over and over again, but then dread crept in. He was going to ask her to prom, but it was going to be a friend asking a friend. Somehow that was worse than not being asked at all. It would mean being so close to what she wanted, but still so painfully far away.

“Killian,” Emma whispered, her lips not daring to utter more than his name as the nerves took over.

“Yes, Killian,” Ruby said with a gleam in her eye, hopping off the table and straightening out Emma’s hair and her outfit like a personal stylist with a critical eye. “Don’t worry, you look totally kick ass, and so my work here is done. He’ll be here any minute, and I think it’s best if I get out of here before he does. Wouldn’t want to stifle any moments with my ever-present wit.”

Emma stood there in shock, watching her friend grab her bag and sashay out of the kitchen. Emma heard her retreating footsteps and barely managed to all out “Wait, Ruby!” before the front door closed. Ruby was gone, having departed the scene in a haste on par with that cartoon roadrunner she used to watch as a kid.

For a moment Emma warred with herself about what to do. She wanted desperately to wait here and to let him ask her. Maybe it would be more than a friend asking a friend. Maybe something had happened with the girl back home. Maybe he was free, free to love her, to choose her, to want her back… but then again maybe her greatest worries were exactly right. Maybe the nagging voice in the back of her mind that said something so perfect could never work out was correct. Either way she panicked, choosing self-preservation over facing what may come.

Leaving everything behind, Emma snuck out the sliding back door, breaking out in a run from the porch and heading into the thick grove of trees behind her home. There was a well-worn walking path that headed deep into the woods, and Emma knew it well, well enough to veer off of it and find her way to the one place she could imagine any kind of comfort at a time like this – the meadow.

Not far from her house there was a private glen that ran along the river, out of the way of any foot traffic that may come through the bramble of these woods. Emma had found it as a child, and for some reason no one ever seemed able to find her there. She could get lost for hours in that grove, enjoying the sun and the flowers and the sound of running water coursing by. It was close to home, but felt lightyears away and in that glen she could be anything and anyone. Her imagination was free there and her cares were far away. It was her special place, the one she never shared, the one she kept so close to her heart it felt like only hers. But then, on a whim, she’d brought Killian there, and though it was scary to do that, he’d reacted in the perfect way.

“It’s otherworldly, Emma. I can understand your love for this spot. I can think of no better place that I’ve ever been before.”  

Emma held back tears as she approached this little oasis, knowing that it wouldn’t hold the answers that she wanted. Instead it would likely just remind her of Killian, and all that she wanted but that they just couldn’t have.

The closer she got, however, the more Emma realized that something was different. It was early spring, but she saw bright colors from afar. They were similar to the wildflowers that bloomed in May and June, but it was too early for them. Only when she got closer did she realize what was happening. The flowers here were real but were not wild. They were an assortment of every kind of blossom she’d ever loved and they had been placed by someone, filling the space in an attempt to recreate the most magical moments this meadow had to bring.

It dawned on her that no one would know to do this but Killian, and as she got closer Emma felt the tears brought on by his sweetness. By the time she was at the meadow’s edge, tears were streaming down her face, and she didn’t bother wiping them away as her hand came over her mouth.

There must be thousands of flowers here, and Emma had no idea how he could have possibly done this. Where would he even find so many flowers? And how could he have time? It would have taken him all day to do this, and so much longer to think of it. This was so much effort to go through for a friend, it almost made her think that she had to be wrong. He must feel the same. He must –

“I had pictured this going a little differently,” a voice said and Emma whipped around to see Killian, looking at her with a warm smile. He was genuinely glad to see her, but the bashfulness on his face was unmistakable and it made him look even more handsome. That earnest feeling mixed with seeing him dressed up, well it drove her a little wild, but she didn’t dare to move, waiting for him to approach her instead. “But I should have known you’d find your own way. You always do.”

“Why?” Emma asked, and Killian’s brow furrowed before she elaborated. “Why did you do all of this?”

“Because you deserve nothing less,” he countered, taking her hand though his blue eyes stayed locked on hers. “I did this because I’ve been wanting to ask you something for a very long time. I’ve gone back and forth about when and how. I wanted it to be right, but I couldn’t decide how. It’s just – well it’s complicated. Us being friends, it’s amazing and I’ve never had someone in my world like you, and I was afraid I’d muck it up, so I…”

He trailed off, his hand scratching behind his ear in a show of embarrassment and Emma swallowed down the hurt as best she could. She had been right. This was a prom proposal based in friendship, nothing more. He didn’t feel the same. He didn’t want her. He was just kind and good and perfect and he wanted to give her a lovely memory even if he couldn’t give her his love.

“Emma Nolan, will you -,”

Before he could get the words out Emma interrupted him, afraid that if he asked she’d break down in front of him and give herself away. This was a nightmare right now and she couldn’t bear it. “Killian… I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Before he could respond, she sprinted back towards the house, tears falling as she raced through the backwoods. Through the haze of her adrenaline, she heard him call her name, and then she felt his hand on her arm, halting her, holding her steady.

“Emma, love, I don’t understand. Have I done something? Is there…” his voice grew fraught and tense. “Is there someone else?”

“Of course there is!” she exclaimed, “But not for me. For you!”

“I don’t understand,” he replied, looking genuinely perplexed.

“Of course you don’t,” she said, a sad laugh emanating from her as she waved her hands in dismay. “I love you, Killian.”

“I love you too,” he replied immediately, and she shook her head.

“No, not as a friend. I love you. Like for real.”

“Emma, I feel the same way about you. I’ve been trying to tell you forever, but every time I tried you shut me down.”

“I had to,” she cried out. “Because you’re not over her.”

“Over who?”

“Merida.”

“Who?” he asked, sounding completely unaware of the name of the girl he loved.

“You know, the girl Liam’s always reminding you about.”

At the mention of the name Killian still looked confused and then he laughed. Wait, he’s laughing? Why is he laughing? This is serious! Before she could get angry though he pulled her to him, distracting her with his nearness as the sound of his voice washed over her.

“God I could kill my brother for this, but I haven’t got the time. Emma, ‘Merida’ is not some long-lost love I’m pining away for. She’s a seventy-six-year-old Scottish woman who used to be our neighbor.”

“Oh.” What else was there to say? Clearly she’d been an idiot.

“The only girl I’ve ever pined for has golden hair, jade colored eyes, and a bit of a temper.”

“Hey, I don’t -,” Killian interrupted her with a kiss she never saw coming, but that Emma immediately melted into. How could she fight with someone when they could do this instead? God it was perfect, everything she’d ever dreamed of, and even more he loved her! He’d said he loved her right? Oh please let her have heard that right. She waited when they broke apart, hoping he’d reiterate the words she’d always craved.

“She’s also brilliant and beautiful and bold. She’s kind and honest, fair and good. She’s always looking out for the people who she loves, and by God when she smiles at me, it’s like heaven itself made just for me.”

Emma looked at his face, searching for any trace of deceit, but there was none. He was pouring his heart out to her and laying it all on the line. It was just what she’d always wanted.

“I love you, Emma. I knew I would from the moment that we met. It’s you Emma. The girl I can’t get over is you, and I have no plans of ever trying. You’re it for me. I know we’re young, but I don’t care because -,”

This time it was her turn to pull him for a kiss, and she couldn’t help herself. After months of wanting him, he was finally hers, or maybe he had been all along. It felt so good to finally have this, to know that the dream she’d been waiting for was even better than her imagination could fathom, and only when they broke apart did she realize what this meant.

“Oh my God I messed everything up,” she said, hiding her face in his neck in embarrassment. “You tried to ask me to prom in the most romantic way and I ruined it.”

“I wasn’t planning to ask you to prom, Emma.”

“You weren’t?”

“No, love I was asking you to be mine, just as I’m yours. But as for ruining things, surely you must know you never could,” he said, his fingers running through her hair as he gazed at her adoringly. “You’ve made this the best day I’ve ever known. You told me you loved me. You let down the last bit of wall that was separating us. Everything’s been said now. There’s no secrets, no more doubts. You know my heart and I know yours. I couldn’t ask for more. And as for prom, if you want to go then we’ll go. I want to be wherever you are, Emma. For me it’s just that simple.”

“I want that too,” Emma said, kissing him again and feeling the lightness and joy that came with love that was reciprocal and true. After all the heart ache, they were together, and Emma knew their love would be forever. No matter what may come, or where they went from here, they were just meant to be. Always had been, always would be.

And though they spent the next few hours surrounding themselves in their newly found bliss, they eventually concurred that prom was a must. After all, Ruby would kill her if she didn’t go, and with Killian by her side it was bound to be a night she’d always remember and never forget.  

…………….

You the type of guy to write a song about You're laid back, nobody know what's on your mind We been talking for a while now (We been talking for a while now) And I been falling for a while now You say that everything with you is fine Even though we're always hanging out I get the feeling that you're not around, yeah

We were always up to something Now you're all in your head

I love you But I wish it wasn't true 'Cause I know you think of her When I'm lying next to you I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you

You the type of guy to tell your mom about You're laid back, but running circles round my mind I been falling for a while now (I been falling, I been falling, I been falling) But you been lying for a while now You say that everything with you is fine Even though we're always hanging out I get the feeling that you're not around, yeah

We were always up to something Now you're all in your head

I love you But I wish it wasn't true 'Cause I know you think of her When I'm lying next to you I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you (I can't get over you)

I love you And I don't know what to do 'Cause you can't get over her And I can't get over you

Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope you guys have enjoyed this little drabble, and to my lovely readers who always ask me for more bisexual Ruby representation, I had you guys in mind with this one too. I know it’s a very short feature, and I am usually very committed to the Ruby/Graham pairing, but I’m happy to share the love for everyone that I can. I wish the show had developed a lot of these characters and relationships more, but hey, there’s always fanfic! Anyway, thank you all for reading and hope you have a great weekend!  

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs the Forces of Evil Reviews: The Blood Moon Ball (1-15)

Welcome back.. though to most of you probably just joining me, welcome. I’ve been on a sorta hiatus from revewiing due to a combination of procrastination, depression, and being really busy. But I finally decided it was time to put boots to the ground and get back to doing what I love: Going on way too long about children’s television.  As such, with She Ra taking a bow a few weeks back and nailing it I got to thinking about another show that just so happened to end the year before: Star Vs the Forces of Evil. Part of it was very simple: She ra ended on a trriumphant note, making a well set up romance that had been it’s backbone canon, having a wonderful final battle, tons of payoff and a throughly happy ending that satisfied all involved and got tons of well earned coverage for having a deep, meaningful relationship between two lesbians finally coming together being the thing that saves the universe. It was freaking great.  Meanwhile a year prior Star Vs, after having been treated like toilet dinner by disney for no good reason by having it’s final season shoved out over a few sundays after a yearlong hiatus.. ended not with a bang, but with a wah wah trumpet. The series ending was unsatisfying, left more questions than answers, had the title character loose all likeablity and was in general miserable. I hadn’t been this pissed off at a finale since How I Met Your Mother and hadn’t seen a romance botched this badly in animation since “Merry Christmas Mordecai”. It was BADDDDD.  However it did make me want to go back to the series; To revisit the good, the bad and the just plain weird to remember what made me love the series, what made me want to throw my tv into a river before reminding myself “No dude, shit’s expensive. “, and what COULD have been, what SHOULD have been and what WASN’T. So i’ll be reviewing assorted episodes.. and the best place to start for me was with the introduction of one of the series best characters, as well as at the same time the start of a ship that was a good idea at first but would slowly take the series down with it as it started to fall apart. This is Blood Moon Ball. There will be blood, and a dead horse, after the cut. 

Before we get into the episode, one of the series most notable and honestly a damn good one, for those 2 of you not familiar with the series a quick refresher: Star VS is the story of Star Butterfly, a rebelious 14 year old princess from the Kingdom of Mewni. Mewni is your standard medievil fantasy kingdom.. but you know with wifi because they have magic compacts that work as phones and large sale acess to the multiverse. Their also ruled over by a long sucession of queens with great and terrible magic power, which is channeld through an increidbly powerful wand that’s passed down from generation to generation.  On her 14th birthday Star gets her turn with the wand.. and not long after sets everything on fire. Not wanting the kingdom to get blown up while Star figures out thing, her parents send her to Earth, and after bribing the school principal into enroling her, that’s not a joke on my part but an actual joke from the pilot, Star soon becomes an exchange student, boarding with the Diazes and soon becoming best friends with their teenage son Marco, a saftey obessed, shy talented martial artist. The two are frequently forced to beat up the hordes of Ludo, a spoiled monster king who wants the wand for himself. Things would get way darker... like in literally two seconds as the revelation star’s people stole mewni from the monsters and Star’s hatred being revealed to be partly racisim instead of standard hero and villian stuff. But that’s for future reviews. Today we have demons, internet commentors and ship tease to get to. So with the basic premise set up let’s finally get on with it.  We open on the arrival of my boy and yours, hopefully, Tom Lucitor. Tom is the prince of the underworld, basically exactly what it sounds like: fire, brimstone, demons spooky scary skeltons sending shivers up your spine. He’s also Star’s ex boyfriend. How they broke up is.. never really explained. While more details about their relationship, includign the fact Tom bought Star her iconic Devil Horn headband on their frist date, were revealed in the tie-in spellbook, and reveals that star’s arson that got her sent to mewni happened right after her and tom broke up, but never explains WHY.  My guess is since the series clearly frames the breakup as Tom’s fault in this episode and on his anger, they probably didn’t want a scene of him screaming his head off at star, either to keep him sympathetic or , more likely, because a scene of a teenage girl watching her boyfriend having a rage fueld breakdown that leads to htem breaking up would be MASSIVELY uncomfortable to watch and unlike some uncomfortable to watch scenes, wouldn’t tell us anything we didn’t know already. So unlike some later things they never pulled the trigger on this one at least makes sense.  Anywho, Tom arrives, parking in the handicap spot (a nice little gag as Star’s crush at the time Oskar points it out, while the dead skeletal horse pulling tom’s carriage turns around to look at him), and all the girls stop and stare.. including Janna, who would probably regret this moment once she realize tom was a bad boy because he’s socially awkard and has anger issues. Basically he’s Kylo Ren but his redemption dosen’t come straight out of JJ Abrhams ass.  Tom arrives at Star’s classroom, removes his shade and damn if he dosen’t have game.. but naturally showing up unnannaounced to her school (Not that TOm probably gets what school is as Mewni dosen’t have those, but still), basically assuming she’ll go out with him, after they had a messy breakup it dosen’t go well and we get a great cut of Star shoving tom back into his carriage.. we also get the best joke of the episode.  Star: So take your invitation and your fire and your dead horse and go.  Dead Horse: wait.. i’m dead? Sad but hilarious. Anyways it’s quickly conved to viewers like us that Tom has anger problems, but he insists to star he’s doing better: he has an anger managment counsler he takes with him places, Brian, voiced by the wonderful and weirdly in Disney’s pocket these days Stephen Root, and a bunny he pets. Before star can pet said bunny Marco , KARATE CHOPS TOM’S HAND OFF.. I just.. until this review I hadn’t sat back to consider just how freakishly strong that boy is , that he can just accidently chop off a hand. I mean tom may have weak joints or something but even after taking far worse blows later on his hands just.. don’t come off. Tom flies itnto a rage and it becomes clear that yeah, whatever happened, it was tom’s fault, and given the kind of rage she flies into, you can see why i’d assume the writers really didn’t want the audience to see him at his worst. I certainly don’t.  Star both worried and clearly having seen this sort of thing go bad before urges Marco to run but tom quickly recovers, both reuniting with his hand and having calmed down, and he and Marco are formally introduced, with star explaning the invite. We also get a great line with marco encouraging her “Star never go with a preadator to a second location”. This show was damn good at getting shit past the radar and i’m here for it. Anyways, Star isn’t quite sold despite tom clearly TRYING to get better, and Tom , in a really nice  move, gives her a bell and tiny hammer to summon his carriage with if she decides to go but leaves it up to her, not pressuring her or anything. For how selfish tom is initially.. this is a spark that shows h’es not a TERRIBLE person, just one who has some growing up to do. Marco however is not convinced and wants to go with, with Star teling him no because A) he wasn’t invited and it’d be rude to ask and B), she appricates the concerns but she can handle this, and implicily, despite her reckless nature knows this is a risk but knows if the night turns she can handle Tom, and that maybe he’s changed. Marco insists Tom can’t change.. which I find hilarious given his massive character arc to the point I had as eires ofessays planned, and one don about his growth before deciding to change formats to doing each ep of his journey instead every so often, to the point where two years on in the series timeline.. we’ve gone from Marco thinking Tom is a predator to...

But star decides to go and .. it’s clear from the subtext that while part of it is clear concern for star, Marco’s line about “it being fun here all the time” may mean that while he DOES have the best intentions.. part of him is jealousssssss. More on that in a bit.  For now we go to the underworld with the second best gag of the episode as Tom is toning down the spookiness to please star, and one of the guys in the picture at the top insults him... and when tom asks which one he says me. We sadly don’t get an answer but it’s small gags like this that made me want to do this episode by episode. Star arrives.. and things quickly go south. Tom tries giving her a corsage that’s a live spider and she rejects it. This admitely looks bad on both as Tom , living in you know, a hell dimenson probably sees it as a sweet gesture, and Star is refusing it.. but star does so POLITELY, and for understandable reasons, and Tom is still clearly pissed about it. Not long after, they line up for what’s essentially a prom photo.. and to get Carried by a bucket of unicorn blood, another nice little gag. Star refuses since well her best friend is a unicorn, one of them anyway, or at least it’s head.. and yes one of the species in this series multiverse is a bunch of headless unicorns. IT’s wonderful. And star also notices tom needs his anger managment bunny and is clearly pissed about it when, having dated her for several months, clearly should’ve KNOWN this might bother her.  That’s really tom’s problem here: He wants everything his way on his terms and only compromises if he thinks it’ll get star to do things with him. He’s made the PRETENSE of changing.. but he really dosen’t WANT to yet. He just wants her back and wants to change just enough to get her back so he can stop trying again. He also may , due to the underworld being diffrent and a place where being covered in a bucket of blood is a time honored tradition instead of the thing that turns a young mutant into a mass murderer, and yes I think a carrie x-men crossover would be the shit. He probably dosen’t GET that star wouldn’t like a spider corasge or bathing in her best friends blood.. but the problem isn’t that. that’s culture shock, that can be bridged with some talk.. the problem is tom dosen’t want to talk, he just wants her to do what he wants and things to be all cool and to get his way. Being a prince with two loving parents, we’ll meet them soon enough just not this episode, and tons of servants, I get the impressionf rom this and other episodes tom simply isn’t USED to not getting what he wants.He’s not USED to being told “No”, and thus has no way to deal with it healthily and isntead lashes out like an angry toddler. It dosen’t make his actions RIGHT but it does make them more understandable and makes it so Tom’s later growth FEELS natural depsite some of his sketchier actions beforehand. 

Back at Marco’s house, Marco is depressed eating nachos in a sumbrero.. which if I had corn chips, cheese and a sombrero would probably be my daily life right about now. It’s then we get a WEIRD dropped bit, as Marco hears a weird piratey voice telling him the blood moon is the moon for lovers and stuff. This is IMPLIED to be his monster arm, from an earlier episode.. but it’s.. never explained. Whatever it was going to be was dropped. Which would be fine if the blood moon itself and the end of this episode didn’t get a full explination in season 4 with the writers clearly going back to it to resolve the dangling thread.. but still not explaning the spooky voice. I mean what was it? Marco’s pirate ancestor? the sea captain from the simpsons? the monster arm? terry that bastard? Burt Macklin FBI? Old Man Withers the guy who runs the amusment park? Dirk Dastardely? A sentient payphone? The alps? Tell us damn you! Okay that tangent aside Marco decides to party crash at the advice of the ominous voice.. seriously is it Flintheart Glomgold? Nevermind. Back at the ball star is bonding with a small skeletal fish int he magma punch whent his random asshole comes up and whines for a good minute,if hilariously so, about the ball being changed.

He’s feels, looks and acts like the combination of those morons who were mad adora wasn’t “as hot” in the she ra reboot and was aged down to a teenager and the threw it on the ground guy.  After that interlude, tom shoos away a guy asking star to dance and the guy makes vauge comments about tom wanting his and star’s souls to be link while making kissy nosies. Before Tom can explain what he means by that, or at least lie about what he means by that, the blood moon is about the drop, the lights turn red and tom walks off because he wants the music to be perfect. And then Marco arrives in his really damn cool calevara outfit. Which fair play, I can see why, besides ship reasons, it gets a lot of art: it looks really damn neat.  Speaking of shipping.. it’s time. Star, not realizing it’s marco, dances with him.. quite romantically in fact. It’s here that the show conciously starts Shipping star and marco together. Starco is born, and the scnee is really good: romantic, well animated, jsut great all around. While the ship would .. end up done rather poorly and lead to some really terrible stuff at the time.. it wasn’t abd and already shipping them I loved this and even now, even knowing what woudl come later... it’s not a bad sequence. The only bad thing is what would come later, but I can’t fault the writers of THIS EP for what they would do in a LATER ONE. That’s just not fair. The ship wasn’t bad to start and the later arc springing from it in season 2 would be good.. it just quickly went in bad directions as the series went on , then disappeared, then how it finallyc ame about was just awful. But as much as I want to.. I can’t blame the sequence on this. It didn’t create rabid shippers or poor writing, it was just good and deserves to be praised as such.  Naturally tom takes this about as well as me when I found out HBO max wouldn’t be on roku at launch and prepares to murder Marco.. and promptly gets frozen by star who decides to wisely get out of there. It’s a ncie moment.. and  reminder that Star is crazy powerful, as is the wand itself, because as we’ll see later, tom is no slouch himself in the power department, but even if her attack was from behind, she still stopped him in one move.  So Star takes marco home and dresses him down for sneaking in, understandbly so: while it was an iffy situation, Star knew who she was dealing with and as shown at the end, was strong enough that tom was no threat to her, and given what we learn later, Tom’s parents would likely never let her come to real harm. For all her reckless decision making, Star thought this one out and Marco shoudl’ve repsectied that and didn’t for his own reasons. To his credit though he apologizes, Star admits to liking the dance, then the two speak in unison a few times, and we wont’ get followup on that till the last season! Roll credits. I don’t have the credits for this episode so enjoy this instead:

Final Thoughts: Blood Moon Ball is a spectacular ep. A good plot, a great introduction for tom, and great animation and humor really make the episode pop and it’s nice to get our first look at the underworld and tom himself. Tom would be back, and i’ll be back to tom eventually, but on it’s own the episode is really good and it’s standout sequence still holds up even as starco ended up in the sewer quality wise. All in all a great ep and a great starting point if you haven’t watched the show yet.  Coming Soon: A return to Star in the near future probably since Tom is great and his second ep deserves love too, as do several other star eps, as well as a look at the saluna episodes of the loud house because i’m in a gay mood for obvious reasons, and a loud house mood for less obvious reasons. Until then, feel free to hit me up with asks with suggestions or commisosns for future reviews, and until next time, later days.