Tumgik
#the problem is that it's part of The Process now so i don't really think about hOW i do it
brown-little-robin · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
my last week, a visual demonstration
#Robin processes emotions on main#hi yes I came back early. it's in order to process. I needed to like.... spill my guts on the dashboard tonight#IM STRUGGLING..#I have GOT to get a job#just one (1) more visit to a friend this summer and then I will be APPLYING for things again#also I'm having the very devil of a time trying to get myself to contribute to this household. I hate it#I hate that helping out makes me feel like I'm losing my agency—losing myself—like I'm dying every time. I want to be BETTER than this#but I also need to feel like an adult with agency but also I need to BEHAVE like an adult but even just saying that makes me feel nauseous#I need. something. to change. I hate this. I feel selfish and cowardly and I hate feeling selfish and cowardly#I need to . communicate. work something out with my mother so that I stop feeling perpetually behind and ashamed#if I could manage to feel good about chores and not just like I'm scrambling to keep up..... that would..... be... more... motivational#the problem is that I feel unsafe/unstable right now and my instinctive response is to close myself off to all demands#WHICH AS YOU CAN IMAGINE IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO BECOMING MORE STABLE.#demand avoidance makes me bad at contributing to the household AND terrified of applying to jobs and AUGH... AUGH.#I DO BETTER WHEN I LIVE ON MY OWN#living on my own‚ I don't have to deal with the whole soul-crushing horrorshow of negotiating my own emotions about doing chores#chores are GOOD and ENJOYABLE when they're for ME. they're only psychological torture when they're things I do as part of my ''rent''#ok. bedtime. I've sufficiently spilled my dang guts all over the place. it will get better eventually I think#I'm just having a horrible time Right Now#I'll figure this out though dangit#I KNOW the answer is to just Do the stuff and face fears and communicate and whatever I KNOW. but if anyone tells me that I'm going to bite#ok I'm done thank you and sorry to anyone reading this far <3 it really will be all right
13 notes · View notes
wrecking · 1 year
Text
edit: i ended up just ranting abt like the current vibe™ in the tags... sorry abt that but like also whatever i don't care anymore
#d#my food therapist really said the most real thing on planet earth when she said i'm meeting me at the same time everyone else is#i feel like a cringey overzealous emotionally dumb teenager who's a total embarrassment to everyone around me while i'm trying 2 say fuck i#cuz like this is the first time in my entire life i feel like i get to actually explore my identity and do like normal young people things#and i feel just. so so exposed in the sense that everyone is watching me make a fool of myself without a single shred of self-awareness#and it makes me so fucking mad cuz like i'm finally happy with myself!! i'm finally starting to feel like a fully formed person#instead of a 2d projection or an object or something monstrous hiding in the shadows because that's how i've spent until now imo#and like. it's hard to emotionally make peace with the fact things in my social life are changing because like. there's some part of me#that thinks that maybe if i stayed in that miserable place that maybe i wouldn't have any of the problems i have now#and like my life is a lot better. and i know that and i wouldn't change a thing. but like emotionally i guess i'm just#processing it as a fault of mine to have changed bc it's changing my relationships to others#and this isn't about any one specific thing like i've been having lots of small growing pains with a lot of ppl in my life rn i just am lik#there's a lot happening to me rn emotionally so i feel like everything i do is a fuckup and i'm just bracing for more people to go ig#which might happen or it might not and tbh either is ok at this point. i need to do this in order to live i think#idk why i'm even rambling about this i just have a lot of thoughts and i want to share them i guess. not like it does anything but like#what else is this app for at this point lmfao i barely even want to talk on here anymore because i feel like everything i say on here is#just pointless. i'm thankful i have a strong support system rn cuz genuinely i don't know what i'd do if i didn't like#i feel like everything is so much more emotionally Big to me on E and it's kind of hard trying to figure out how to manage it#like i'm basically finally getting to be me. for worse AND for better. and i just am like. insecure on some level i guess#not even over my appearance tbh i've kinda made peace with that. moreso my personality and what things i share with others#this whole post is so wholly unnecessary but i feel like i'm going to go insane if i don't get this out of my head#i've genuinely been avoiding talking about my emotions or my private life on here because i don't exactly feel safe on here anymore#which is like great. love it when my primary outlet for like. socially interacting with people casually gets compromised i love it#i literally softblocked like 30 ppl off of here so i could talk abt my weird sex stuff and my body and my deeper thoughts with ppl i trust#and then i still am too conscious about it! this always happens when i make a blog for myself to talk on#maybe i'm just not meant for talking abt things
3 notes · View notes
Text
for whom good omens is being written
Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:
Tumblr media
The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.
And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:
'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."
'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'
He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'
(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'
And, finally, this paragraph:
"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"
I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.
Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")
Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)
15K notes · View notes
readingloveswounds · 3 months
Note
Can you share how you outline a paper? I always find it difficult to organise my argument when dealing with complex ideas that don't seem easily "decomposable"...
I can sure try! I've been doing it for a while now, so I'm not sure my process is entirely coherent.
Some background: in middle and high school (and the first couple years of college if we're being honest), I hated outlining papers. Would not write them unless it was a part of the assignment. I've since figured out how to do them in a way that helps me.
For the actual outline:
I usually start outlining once I have a general idea of an argument to make. This goes at the top of the page for now. It does not need to be detailed, polished, or even anything close to the final argument. It can even be '[thing] is weird, huh?'
I will make an outline that is legitimately just a few points: Introduction, Body, Conclusion. This is silly, but it takes away the fear of staring at a blank page. My argument idea can now go in the Introduction section.
Now back to it. If I want to convince my readers of my argument, what background do I need to give? I make a list. What scholarship do I need to reference? Make a list (this will probably change, but sometimes I have an idea). What examples do I want to use? Make a list. These lists go haphazardly in the Body section. Order doesn't matter yet. Detail doesn't matter yet, but if I have any sentences that come to mind or short notes on what I want to do with something, they're welcome, but I don't typically get too caught up in it
Order matters now! I arrange things in an order that I think will be effective - we need to know the background first and then I need to ease us into the theory/scholarship I'm referencing. It'll make more sense to use example x first and then example y, so I'll put those in that order.
Understand that the order can and will change when the rubber hits the road. This is just to get me started.
Example (with the added complication of tumblr not letting me use tab, so use your imagination):
Intro
Background
3 women - show cases - highlight important parts
Discussion - placement in LX - detail -- bloody, child, abject, women as generative
Conclusion
At this point, I have an initial idea of an order I want to have things organized in. For final papers in my courses, I usually wrote more or less in the order of my outline. For the dissertation, I do NOT necessarily write in order of the outline, but rather in order of what makes the most sense. I've done chronological, argument establishment, and passage analysis first. Introduction and conclusion come at the end. I have never ever put detail into my conclusion in the first outline - that often comes over the course of writing.
You mention issues of decomposability - this is completely fair, honestly, and sometimes you have to be juggling a lot in order to make an argument. I think the way I handle this is first trying to just get a basic order in place - it's not necessarily easy, but if I'm trying to teach someone (which really is what a paper is), what do I need to establish in order to make them understand? Force it into some sort of chunks, just for now. Often, in the writing of it, I'll realize that wait, I need to talk about something either now or add it back in where I cut it before or put it somewhere later. For me, it's really important that an outline can be fluid.
I keep it side by side with my writing document, but I'm not someone who adds bullet points and then joins them together. I really just have to start writing.
Another thing - and perhaps the more important thing - is that I make a LOT of smaller outlines. The bigger outline is there to give me a direction, the smaller ones are there to help me figure out the details. Smaller outlines and the big one never meet. Looking back through my notes, a lot of these smaller ones start with "why this?" In these smaller outlines, it's not really a writing roadmap, but rather me working through the relevant 5WH (who, what, where, when, why, how), which helps break things down further - and helps me make sure I understand what I need to explain/cover in the section.
I exclusively hand write these.
An (extremely impenetrable) example:
What are you trying to establish? how A effects readers
why? AL -> because of x/y
who? preface
how? readers, z, spectators (trick)
So really, I make one outline so that I know generally what I want to include and then make a lot of little ones so that I know what I'm actually going to talk about. The little ones happen all throughout the writing process and especially when I'm stuck.
Hopefully this has been helpful - it's taken years of playing around with this to figure out exactly what works for me. Thinking of it as something that not only helps you but also helps your eventual reader understand what you want to say has helped a lot. I think what I struggled with in the past was sort of an implied stability/unchanging-ness of the outline, so making a million and knowing that they're adaptable has also been good.
0 notes
prokopetz · 5 months
Text
I think a lot of folks in indie RPG spaces misunderstand what's going on when people who've only ever played Dungeons & Dragons claim that indie RPGs are categorically "too complicated". Yes, it's sometimes the case that they're making the unjustified assumption that all games are as complicated as Dungeons & Dragons and shying away from the possibility of having to brave a steep learning cure a second time, but that's not the whole picture.
A big part of it is that there's a substantial chunk of the D&D fandom – not a majority by any means, but certainly a very significant minority – who are into D&D because they like its vibes or they enjoy its default setting or whatever, but they have no interest in actually playing the kind of game that D&D is... so they don't.
Oh, they'll show up at your table, and if you're very lucky they might even provide their own character sheet (though whether it adheres to the character creation guidelines is anyone's guess!), but their actual engagement with the process of play consists of dicking around until the GM tells them to roll some dice, then reporting what number they rolled and letting the GM figure out what that means.
Basically, they're putting the GM in the position of acting as their personal assistant, onto whom they can offload any parts of the process of play that they're not interested in – and for some players, that's essentially everything except the physical act of rolling the dice, made possible by the fact most of D&D's mechanics are either GM-facing or amenable to being treated as such.*
Now, let's take this player and present them with a game whose design is informed by a culture of play where mechanics are strongly player facing, often to the extent that the GM doesn't need to familiarise themselves with the players' character sheets and never rolls any dice, and... well, you can see where the wires get crossed, right?
And the worst part is that it's not these players' fault – not really. Heck, it's not even a problem with D&D as a system. The problem is D&D's marketing-decreed position as a universal entry-level game means that neither the text nor the culture of play are ever allowed to admit that it might be a bad fit for any player, so total disengagement from the processes of play has to be framed as a personal preference and not a sign of basic incompatibility between the kind of game a player wants to be playing and the kind of game they're actually playing.
(Of course, from the GM's perspective, having even one player who expects you to do all the work represents a huge increase to the GM's workload, let alone a whole group full of them – but we can't admit that, either, so we're left with a culture of play whose received wisdom holds that it's just normal for GMs to be constantly riding the ragged edge of creative burnout. Fun!)
* Which, to be clear, is not a flaw in itself; a rules-heavy game ideally needs a mechanism for introducing its processes of play gradually.
7K notes · View notes
dduane · 3 months
Note
I just received a copy of a book I've been very much looking forward to by a favorite author, but the quality of the book itself is... not great. Cheap paper, weak binding, even a weird illustration of the main character on the cover that I'm having trouble believing the author approved. Obviously, I don't want to leave a bad review on Amazon or GoodReads or anywhere, as I'm 100% certain the content is as excellent as her other work. But how can I best let the publisher (Baen) know I'm disappointed without threatening to never buy her books again? Because, well, if this is the only option, I'm gonna keep buying them even in my disappointment.
Well, the first thing I thought when I read this was "Wow, I'm really glad I don't have anything in print from Baen at the moment except a couple of anthologized short stories." :)
As for the rest of it, let's take it point by point.
Adding a cut here, because this will run a bit long. Caution: contains auctorial bitching and moaning, painful illustrations of cases in point, and brief advice on how to complain most effectively. (Also links to paintings of cats.)
Cheap paper: This has been an accurate complaint since well before COVID—and it's often been worse since, with supply chain issues also being involved. That said: one way publishers routinely save money on printing books, especially the bigger ones, is by going for thinner/cheaper paper. I remember one of our UK editors going on at great length and with huge annoyance—during one of those late-night convention-bar bitch sessions—over how the only way they could get some really good books published (because Upstairs insisted on reducing the per-copy production costs) was by reducing the paper quality to the point where you could nearly read through it. Sacrificing decent text size(s) also became part of this. Nobody in editorial was happy about the result: but there wasn't much they could do.
Bad bindings: Similar problem. Sewn bindings used to be a thing in paperbacks... but not any more: not for a good while, now. These days, it's all glue. Even hardcovers are showing up glued rather than sewn. Don't get me started. :/ (This is why I so treasure some of the oldest paperbacks I've acquired, which are actually sewn.)
Crap covers: I've had my share of these—though my share of some really good ones, too. And one of the endless frustrations of traditional publishing is that the writer routinely has little or even no influence over what the cover will look like... let alone how much will be spent on it, or (an often-related issue) how good the execution will be.
There are of course exceptions. If you're working at the, well, @neil-gaiman -esque level or similar in publishing, a lot more attention is going to be paid to your thoughts. You may even be able to get "cover veto" written into your contracts, so that if you disapprove, changes will get made. But without actual contractual stipulations, the writer has zero legal recourse or way to withhold approval. (And I bet even Neil has some horror stories.)
The normal workflow looks like this. After a book's purchased, its editor and the art director discuss what it's about and what the cover should look like. The art director then hires an artist and tells them what to do. After that, the artist executes their vision and gets paid. It is incredibly rare for a writer to have any significant input into this process. And as to whether or not they approve of the final result, well... the publisher mostly just shrugs and goes back to eyeing the bottom line, muttering "Who told them they get a vote?"
Now, I've been seriously lucky to occasionally be an exception in this regard. In particular, my editors at Harcourt (when Jane Yolen and Michael Stearns were editing Harcourt's Magic Carpet YA imprint) would ask me what I thought would be a good idea for the next Young Wizards cover, and I'd think about it a bit and send them back a paragraph or so about some core scene. They'd then talk to their art director, and after that send their notes and mine to Cliff Nielsen (who started doing the covers for the hardcover and mass-market paperback editions of the series in the mid-90s) or to Greg Swearingen (who was the artist on the digest-format editions). And the results, by and large, were pretty good. ...I also think affectionately of the UK artist Mick Posen, who insisted on seeing pictures of our cats before painting the covers for the Hodder editions of The Book of Night with Moon and On Her Majesty's Wizardly Service (the UK title for To Visit The Queen).
But this kind of treatment is a courtesy—not even vaguely suggested in the books' contracts, and very much the exception to the rule. And for every writer who's midlist, there are times when the luck runs out. For example: one time I wrote a book that was an AU-Earth-near-future fantasy police procedural, thematically pretty dark—dealing with issues of abuse of megacorporate power, institutionalized bigotry, and (explicitly) attempted genocide. And the cover, done by an artist who's a good friend and some of whose fabulous art hangs in our house, came out looking like this. It was... let's just say "not ideally representative."
So I was glad, when my local workflow allowed it, to recover the current, revised version of the book with something at least a little more apropos. But the original cover's not the artist's fault. He did what the art director told him... as a cover artist must do to get paid, and (ideally) to get hired again. At present, that's how the system works.
...So. You've got a badly-built and -presented book on your hands. How best to make your feelings known in some way that might make a difference down the line? (As you make it plain that you'll keep buying this author's books this way if you must.)
First of all: when (as part of my psych nursing training) we were taught how to complain most effectively, we were told that the first and most basic rule of the art is this:
Only Complain To Someone Who Can Actually Do Something About Your Problem
So I salute your desire not to waste your time taking the issue to the reviews on Amazon, or the pages of Goodreads... because they can't do anything. The odds that anyone from production at Baen is reading the comments there strike me as... well, not infinitesimally small, not being hit-by-a-meteorite-while-in-the-shopping-center-parking-lot small... but really low.
So: write to corporate.
In your place I would go online and rummage around a bit to find out who's on record as the publisher at Baen. I would then write them a letter on paper. And I would lay out the problem pretty much as you laid it out up at the top.
The tone I think I'd choose would be the more-in-sorrow-than-in-anger approach. I'd say, "I write to comment about your recently published book by [X Writer], whose work I love. I have to say, though, that I don't think the cover on [X Book] is terribly representative of the quality of the prose inside. And also, the construction and production quality of the book itself was a disappointment to me because [here spell out why].
"I'd really like to see [X. Writer's] books succeed with you, and I'd like to buy more of them without wondering whether I was going to be disappointed again. But if this is typical of how they're being produced, I'd also be concerned that the state of these books is setting up a situation in which the author's sales will be damaged, and you would stop publishing them... which would really be a shame. Whereas on the other hand, better production quality could keep previous purchasers coming back and buying, not only more books by this author, but books by others whom you publish."
This phrasing, as you'll have seen, walks a bit wide around the issue of your further purchases, while directing attention toward the bottom line... which will routinely be what the publisher's looking at from day to day. And—being, one has to hope, in possession of the wider picture as regards what's going on with their production costs—maybe they can actually do something about it.
Anyway, nothing ventured, nothing gained, yeah? It's worth a try. All you can do is hope for the best.
And finally: please know that I admire your commitment to the author: whoever she is, she's lucky to have you. It's a terrific thing to have readers who'll willing to spend the time to hunt you down, and who're willing not to judge a book by its cover. :)
2K notes · View notes
harmonysanreads · 4 months
Note
as Sunday's canon wife, what do you think about a reader who, whenever sitting or just near Sunday, gently takes a glove off of his hand and just holds the bare hand. when he looks at you in question you give a smile and he asks himself why he loves you but then smiles back because you're adorable.
maybe you'd even push your fingers through the gaps in his gloves instead-
(also I am yet to play the quest so ignore this if it's out of character for him)
With each passing day, I feel like we share a telepathic connection Zuri, because I was JUST about to make a post about Sunday and his gloves :o
Tumblr media
Hear me out, white gloves in particular have symbolized class and cleanliness. For someone as tidy as Sunday moreover, they're an inconsequential part of his daily life. I hc that he even carries extra pairs with him just in case. And for that man to take them off himself or to allow someone else to do it, is a big deal.
Sunday is touch starved, which he didn't quite realize until he met you. It's not that he's been deprived of them, but the touches he's had to exchange were meaningless formalities and they never permeated the barrier of his gloves. You are the only one deserving of that privilege, so whenever Sunday shares a moment with you without external interferences, he makes sure to take off his gloves — actually, that's not enough, he'll even wash his hands before touching you ; you shouldn't come in contact with the filth that he regularly deals with.
The very first time you held hands without any restrictions, Sunday couldn't go for more than a few minutes because he felt like he was seeing stars. Please don't misunderstand, he likes it!Just give him a moment to process all the feelings. He sincerely hopes you won't quit with your advances thinking he's uncomfortable, but if you do, at least he'll know that you respect his boundaries ; way to go, making him fall harder.
But now arrives a different problem, Sunday loves feeling your touch with his bare hands so much that he craves for it even in public settings. But he has an image to maintain and he really doesn't want to deal with more barrages of back handed comments on his apparent “favoritism”. Please don't go holding hands or being touchy with anyone else in the meantime, he isn't as put together as appears inside.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
whatsk-poppinhomies · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing : Non!Idol College AUKim Seungmin x F!Reader TW : angst ; tsundere Seungmin ; reader injury but not super serious ; lots of use of the word fuck ; slightly suggestive if you squint ; mentions of drinking but reader doesn't ; fluff at the end though ; Word Count : 8.4k A/N : You all picked Seungmin and Seungmin you shall receive! I don't even know how long this will take to finish writing to post, I'm currently setting up this part on May 4th, so... works got me fucked up a bit. I finally finished it on May 27th jfc. I'm so sorry for making everyone wait! I hope you enjoy this Anonny! Request : Anonny : Could you do one with Felix or seungmin, you’re their best friend and you both have feelings for each other. Felix or seungmin finds out about it and goes out with girls to try and make you jealous but instead you end up distancing yourself from him because you can’t bear to look at him with other girls, he notices and comes to you and you guys make up and kisses and fluff pls 😊
“Bestie boo boo!!” You called out, running over to Seungmin and wrapping your arms around him from behind. You could tell it was him just from the back of his head, that’s how close the two of you were. It had been that way since middle school when your parents moved and you got transferred to his school. He was your first friend, your only friend for the longest time. 
“Hate it when you call me that…” He mumbled, but you could feel his chest vibrating with silent laughter. What you couldn’t see was the deep red blush that covered his cheeks and the shy smile that tugged at his cheeks. For the longest time you looked at him as just a friend, the two of you had even dated other people through high school, consoling each other after breakups, being each other’s wingmen, the stupid shit that best friends do for each other in high school. Now that you were in college though, you couldn’t help but really see him, see him as more than a friend… The only problem was that he didn’t see you as anything more. 
You lightly slapped him on the back, an overly dramatic scowl on your face, waiting for him to turn around. “Yah! Look at me…” He slowly turned around and you made sure to change the scowl to a pout when he finally looked at you. Neither of you could keep up the act long though, it took less than 4 seconds for both of you to laugh. “Seriously though, you’re bestie boo boo, it isn’t changing.” 
He rolled his eyes before grabbing the strap of your backpack and pulling you closer. To say your heart almost jumped out of your chest was an understatement, all the years of watching k-dramas… was this your moment? “You annoy me. Why are we friends again?” He muttered, throwing his arm over your shoulder and practically dragging you along next to him as he walked. Your silence had him stopping and looking at you though, his eyebrow arched, a flash of worry glinting in his eyes. “I’m joking… That was a joke. I know that you’d be helpless without me.” 
Your lips popped as your mouth fell open, the smug look on his face both aggravating and extremely attractive at the same time. “I am not helpless. I don’t even need you.” That was a lie, you needed him in more ways than what he was thinking, but you kept those thoughts to yourself as you moved out from under his arm and walked ahead of him. Your pride was short-lived as you stepped on a rock, your ankle twisting in the process and a tiny yelp leaving your mouth. 
Seungmin had run over to you immediately, dropping his bag beside him so he could grab onto you, his hands firmly gripping your waist to hold you steady, and even though your ankle was sore, the electric feeling that coursed through you from his touch overpowered the pain completely. “You walk away for… what was that? 5 seconds? Maybe 6?” He sighed softly, shaking his head as he looked you over, and he must have taken the flustered look on your face as one of pain because he quickly grabbed his bag with one hand, his other arm staying around your waist as he slowly walked with you. “Is your ankle okay? I can carry you. Do you think you can make it to the nurse?” 
“I don’t even need to go to the nurse…” You muttered, trying to upkeep your i’m totally fine act, all while also trying to keep your heart beating at a steady pace with his arm still wrapped around you. “You’ll just mock me the whole time anyway… I mean, who trips over a rock… so stupid.” You continued to mumble. 
His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth and you were ready for him to start firing off the jokes that you’d most likely hear for the next month or so, but he let out a soft sigh. “I’m not going to make fun of you for getting hurt, I’m not a complete asshole.” You huffed loudly out of your nose, and little did you know, he thought every little thing that you did was absolutely adorable, he just didn’t know how to tell you. “I’m taking you to the nurse no matter what, so if you want me to carry you, I will.” 
Oh to be carried by him, to be held in his arms… or maybe being piggybacked across campus, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him so tightly… “No, I’m fine. It was just a little twist, they’ll probably laugh at me for coming in with something so small. It probably isn’t even anything.” He hummed softly, his arm moving away from your waist and you felt pathetic for noticing the lack of warmth immediately. The electricity that you had felt coursing through your veins was suddenly gone and it was strangely sad for you. 
The lack of his support also meant that your weight was now completely on your ankle and you could feel just how badly you had twisted it. You winced at the pain that shot through your whole leg, and you either weren’t good at hiding it, or Seungmin was just really good at picking up on everything. Whatever it was, he quickly stepped in front of you, squatting down and hitching his arms around your knees to lift you onto his back. “You’re so stubborn.” He grumbled, and it’s like the added weight of you being on his back didn’t faze him at all. In fact, he started walking faster towards the medical building, a man on a mission, and being so close had the butterflies in your stomach going absolutely crazy. 
“Try not to walk on it.” The nurse said as she finished wrapping your ankle that had swollen to twice its size by the time you got to the building. “Go straight home and prop it up on a couple pillows, put some ice on it to take some of the swelling down. Use the crutches. If it hurts, take some ibuprofen and that should help with the pain.” You nodded along to everything she was saying, but you weren’t exactly listening, focusing more on the way Seungmin was staring at you intently, and you didn’t know if the expression on his face was one of disappointment or annoyance. 
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t walk on it and that she keeps it propped up. Thank you.” He spoke for you, bowing his head as he got up from the chair that was on the opposite side of the room. Grabbing your crutches, he walked over to you and helped you up off the bed, the paper underneath you crinkling loudly with every movement. “Do you need me to carry you again?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes, taking the crutches from him and situating them under your arms before doing your best to keep your balance and move forward at the same time, which was quite difficult. 
“You can go to class, I’ll be fine.” You said, and while you’d love to get ahead of him, it was too easy for him to keep up with your little hops. “Seriously… This is so humiliating, I just want to be alone. Stupid fucking rock.” He sighed softly beside you, but he didn’t leave your side, always at the ready, his arms shooting out instinctively to catch you when you looked like you were wobbling a little bit. “Seungmin…” 
“What kind of best friend would I be if I let you walk home by yourself on crutches?” He quizzed, but it was a hypothetical question that you both already knew the answer to. “I’ll make you some ramen too so that you don’t have to get up. I want you to keep your leg up, like the nurse said.” He continued, it felt like he was scolding you. “I’ll go to your classes and get copies of the lectures that you missed today so you won’t be behind.” 
“Thanks dad.” You pouted, but kept staring at the ground, not just because you were sulking, but because you couldn’t seem to walk straight with the crutches if you weren’t watching your feet at the same time. You weren’t even sure how long you were going to need them for, but within the first 20 minutes, that’s all it took for you to dread them for a lifetime. Your underarms hurt and strangely enough, having “3” legs to walk on was more of a hindrance than anything. 
“I can come over after my classes. We can watch a movie? I’ll keep you company while you’re healing since you can’t really do anything else.” Watching a movie with Seungmin… just the two of you… maybe it would turn into cuddling… maybe he’d kiss you… You could fall asleep on his lap while he runs his fingers through your hair. It would be a dream come true, it would be the perfect evening. “I’ll even bring snacks. I’ll buy your favorites.” It’s like he was trying to bribe you to say yes, not that he needed to. 
“Sure… Yeah. As long as I can pick the movie.” You looked up at him with a pursed lip smile, the lack of attention on your feet had you stumbling a bit, and he quickly caught you again. He didn’t even have to look at you to know you were wobbling either, he just reached out to steady you before dropping his arms back to his sides. “This sucks…” 
///
“Don’t you have baseball practice?” You asked tiredly as you leaned against his shoulder, curled up under a blanket on your couch, the movie playing on the television was just background noise at this point. “I don’t want the rest of the team to get mad… You’re their best player.” That wasn’t even you trying to hype him up either, he truly was the best player on the team. That’s why it was so hard for you to believe that he wanted to spend most of his free time with you. He was the all star player, every girl on campus had their eyes set on him, yet he made it seem like he only wanted to be around you. It just didn’t make any sense, and you wondered if maybe he was doing it out of pity considering you were less popular, well, you weren’t really popular at all. 
You always caught the glares that the girls would send your way when you walked by with Seungmin by your side, and if you listened hard enough, you could almost hear them shit talking you, as if you were in some way forcing Seungmin to hang out with you. “Eh, they can handle one practice without me.” He said nonchalantly, stretching his arms above his head before getting up off the couch. “You hungry yet?” He didn’t even wait for your answer before walking to the kitchen and raiding your cabinets, pulling out two ramen bowls. “What are you gonna do when I go back to my dorm?” He asked, as if trying to make small talk while waiting for the water to boil in the pot on the stove. 
“Probably gonna run a marathon, do my laundry, use the stairs in the building for the first time since I’ve lived here. Ya know, goof around a bit.” You teased, but when you turned to look at him, you could tell he was less than impressed at your answer and he didn’t find it as funny as you did. “Jeez, you’re such a sour puss sometimes. Obviously I’m going to listen to the nurse and keep my leg propped up. I’ll just be here, all bored, probably starve while I watch YouTube videos on my phone.” It was like you couldn't give up the chance to be a smartass, and Seungmin knew that, so he just rolled his eyes as he turned his attention back to the water that was bubbling on the surface now. 
“Don’t you have any friends that can spend the night or something to help you out?” He questioned, and you weren’t sure why, but the way he said it made it seem like he didn’t really want to be there. Maybe you were just reading into things, you did have the tendency to do that, but you thought that maybe he would offer to stay to help you. Not just that, but you were sure that he knew well enough that you didn’t really have any friends, not ones that would willingly give up their nights to help you. 
You don’t know why you were so upset honestly, but your bottom lip trembled as you looked around your living room, trying to look at anything but him. “Just forget about it. You can go.” You said softly, hoping that he’d hear you and he’d just leave without another word. The oven clicked off and you heard soft footsteps carrying him from the kitchen into the living room where you were sitting, your breath held, but then he came into your view, his eyebrows creased with worry as he looked at you. If you weren’t so upset, you’d laugh at him, but you turned away from him instead. “Seriously, you can leave. I can do this on my own.” 
His eyes closed, a loud sigh blowing through parted lips, hot breath hitting the side of your face as you continued to avoid looking at him. “What’s wrong? Look at me…” His voice was below a whisper, although it was tinged with annoyance rather than the worry that masked his features. “I’m making you something to eat, what more do you want me to do? I’m trying to help you and you’re trying to kick me out. I don’t know what else you want from me.” It was evident that he was getting more and more irritated the more he spoke, and the fact that you still hadn’t looked at him was only upsetting him more. “Fine… Do it on your own.” He muttered, standing up straight and turning on his heel to head out the door. 
Sure, simply explaining to him why you were upset probably would have been better, but you were too upset to talk to him about it. It’s not like he was unaware of why you would be upset at the comment he made. He knew damn well that you felt less than adequate being his friend when he was so popular and he was quite literally the only friend you had. He always tried to invite you out to hang out with his friends and their girlfriends, but you knew they didn’t actually like you, they simply tolerated you because for some reason, Seungmin liked having you around. To them, it didn’t matter that the two of you had been friends for so long. He was popular now, he was lusted after by every girl on campus, he was a star… and you were a nobody. He might have a bunch of friends that would help him if he were to get hurt the way you did… but you had nobody, nobody but him. 
Kicking him out didn’t seem to prove any kind of point though, it only made you feel lonelier. You had absolutely no one now to help you, and while you knew that Seungmin was only a text away, you were sure that after the way you treated him he wouldn’t feel as inclined to come over and help you. You were truly on your own, and you didn’t know how you’d do anything without his help. You were adamant though, you didn’t need him, you didn’t need anyone. You were sure that he had better things to do anyway. You weren’t going to burden him. It seemed like he didn’t want to stay around and help you, not when he was asking if you had other friends that would be able to do it… Maybe he was trying to get rid of you. 
///
“Thought you were going to be over Y/N’s all evening?” Felix asked as soon as Seungmin walked through the front door. Felix wasn’t exactly popular either, not in regards to being a jock, he was more into computer games that occupied most of his time. Both guys were sure that if they hadn’t been paired up as roommates, they wouldn’t even know of the other's existence. Yet, since becoming roommates almost two years ago, they had gotten just as close as Seungmin and you were. “How’s she feeling by the way? Is she okay?” 
Felix was the only one that had been told of your accident earlier in the day. He was the only one that Seungmin thought would care. He knew that his baseball friends weren’t all too interested in you, and if it were up to them, you wouldn’t be hogging all of Seungmins time in the first place. “I don’t know, man. She got really upset and kicked me out… I thought I’d be able to tell her today.” Seungmin dropped down into the empty seat at the table that Felix was sitting at, running his hands over his face before dropping them down onto the table with a heavy thud. “Maybe she just doesn’t like me…” 
Now if there was one thing that Felix knew, it was about Seungmins crush for you. It wasn’t even a crush anymore, it was more than that. Seungmin was head over heels in love with you, and Felix heard about it every single day. He had only found out about it when Seungmin had invited you over to his place for a bit, the first and last time it ever happened, and Felix had been there. Once you left, Felix had told Seungmin that he thinks that you’re really pretty. It almost turned into a full blown argument as Seungmin shouted about how Felix couldn’t have you and that you were his. That’s when it had all been laid out on the table, and that was about five months ago. Felix thought that Seungmin would have told you by now, but apparently he hadn’t. He couldn’t understand why though, it’s not like you didn’t like Seungmin back. That was painfully obvious… Did Seungmin not even notice? “You’re blind… Aren’t you?” Felix commented, and Seungmin lifted his head, staring at Felix incredulously. “She likes you… Even I can see that. I don’t know why you won’t just tell her, it’ll probably make the both of you feel better to just get it all out.” 
“Dude, she doesn’t like me. If she did, she wouldn’t have kicked me out.” Seungmin retorted, and Felix felt like he was talking to a brick wall. How could Seungmin be so clueless? “I was literally in the middle of making food for the both of us! It’s like she got mad or something and just told me to leave. I asked her if she had any other friends to help her when I wasn’t there… Maybe she had her boyfriend coming over and what I said reminded her and she needed me to leave before he got there… She never told me about a boyfriend though. I feel like I would know about something like that… She would have told me…” Felix was absolutely dumbfounded by how stupid Seungmin sounded right now. Even Felix was able to figure it out immediately after knowing what Seungmin had said, but for some reason, he was just unable to put it all together. 
“Dude… She likes you… Just tell her!” Felix said, trying his best to not get annoyed with Seungmins lack of critical thinking. But Seungmin shook his head, pushing away from the table, eliciting a loud groan from Felix whose head fell back to stare up at the ceiling in complete disbelief. “How long are you going to drag this out, man? The longer you wait, the lower your chances are. If she thinks you don’t like her, she might just move on. Think about that for a bit.” 
And he did, Seungmin did think about it. He thought about it a lot. The thought was raising hell in his brain no matter where he was or what he was doing. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t focus in class, he couldn’t even focus during practice. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of you potentially being with someone else, and that pissed him off. You couldn’t be with anyone. You were his. 
That’s why he started looking up what to do online, which probably seemed stupid to anyone else, but he couldn’t just outright tell you that he was in love with you. He wouldn’t be able to handle the rejection if you didn’t like him back. He couldn’t take Felixs word for it because, even though Felix was his friend, he was also the type of guy that thought that a girl simply smiling and waving at him meant that she liked him… Which was crazy. 
In the end, he found a lot of ideas, but only one seemed like it would actually work. It was also easier to pull off than any of the other ideas he came across online. This one would be foolproof. If you didn’t react, it meant that you didn’t like him and he would finally be able to move on, although he wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to do that. If you did react though, he would know that you did like him, and he would finally be able to tell you. He hoped that it worked, it seemed like it would… He just really wanted it to work out in a way where you would truly be his in the end. 
///
It had been two weeks since you kicked Seungmin out, and while you hadn’t completely ghosted him, your replies to his texts were rather short. You were still upset, and your mind was racing with the thought that he was slowly but surely trying to ease you out of his life. There were so many girls that wanted him, having you around was probably ruining his game with all of them, and, while you weren’t clingy to him by any means, the two of you were always around each other, and you were sure that made it hard for him to get with anyone else. 
Still, his birthday was coming up soon, and you were finally fully healed from your little accident two weeks ago (you cared for yourself the entire time, even when Seungmin asked if you needed help), and you were sure that he’d have another party like he had every year before. You wondered if you were still invited though, and while you didn’t want to be the first person to text him, you thought that maybe sending him a quick Happy Birthday message would open the door for him to tell you, or at least ask you to come to the party. 
“Hey… Happy Birthday, Min.” You quickly sent it, and like any other time you texted him first, your stomach would twist up in knots as you awaited his reply. Love was crazy in the way that it made people feel. It was like that feeling alone took control of all your other emotions and made them come out at times when they weren’t necessary, and it made them come out too strong… Which is why you kicked Seungmin out in the first place. You loved him so much that you were scared of him not loving you back so you tried to get rid of him completely. It was so stupid. 
“Hey! Thanks! You still coming to my party tonight, right?” Did he actually want you to come or was he just asking to be sure that you weren’t? Dammit… He always made you feel so conflicted. Maybe if you just told him that you liked him, you could just get it over with, get the final answer and whatever comes next… Well, that’s up to fate. Maybe… Maybe you could tell him tonight… At the party. If he said no, you would just leave, run home and cry under your blanket and avoid him for the rest of your college years. It wouldn’t ruin his party, he had so many friends, they’d probably all get together and laugh at you anyway. You just needed to get it off your chest once and for all. You couldn’t keep hiding your feelings, you couldn’t keep going about your days like you were okay with just being friends… You needed to let him know. 
“Yeah! Yeah, I’ll be there!” You texted back, and you already felt your heart speeding up at the thought of standing in front of him and telling him. The sweat was beading up on your forehead and your hands felt clammy. You didn’t even know what you were going to say, but you knew that trying to follow a script would only make you more nervous and you’d get tongue tied and end up rambling. The words would come effortlessly once you stood in front of him, the way they would fill your brain whenever you were around him, just waiting to be unleashed upon the man that you had loved for longer than you could remember. It would happen tonight… You’d tell him everything, you’d tell him how wonderful you thought he was, how funny he is, how he makes your day better just by smiling in your direction. You’d tell him that he’s the only person you’ve been able to ever think about or see yourself with, that you’ve always liked him, that you’ll always love him no matter what. He needed to know… And you needed your answer. 
The outfit you had chosen for the night was dressier than what you’d wear to any of the other parties… If you had ever been invited to any other parties… And it was surely much dressier than what you usually wore. A floral dress that sat just at the middle of your thighs, the color accenting your skin tone and framing your figure in all the right areas. It was the last thing you put on after doing your hair and your makeup, because honestly, you knew that if you looked at yourself in the mirror you’d get even more nervous and decide not to go at all. 
You wanted to catch his eye though, you wanted him to know that you could be just as pretty as the other girls that chased him around campus… You were worthy of his attention, and maybe even his love if he wanted to give it to you. It was hard not to feel anxious though, as much as you tried not to be. You were worried that you’d end up sweating off your makeup which you had spent much longer on than usual because you wanted to look perfect for him. It wasn’t too late to back out, just change your clothes and walk into the party in the regular clothes that you always wore when you went to his birthday parties… But this one was important… This one was the difference between spending the rest of your life pining over your best friend or finally being able to be his. 
The music from the bar could be heard from outside the front doors, and you knew that it was most likely packed inside with all of his friends from baseball, and most likely all the girls on campus that were trying to hook up with him. You didn’t want to be surrounded by them, and you weren’t quite sure how you’d get him alone for even a second to tell him what you wanted to, but you were there and you were hellbent on telling him tonight, so you took a deep breath and walked into the bar, trying not to make eye contact with the people who seemed to stop and stare at you with wide eyes. 
It wasn’t hard to find Seungmin, he was in the center of the room, a beer in one hand and his phone in his other hand as he chatted with some guys that you remember seeing on the field when you went and watched him play. He was preoccupied, and it was only the beginning of the party… You didn’t have to tell him right now… You could at least enjoy yourself for a little bit before potentially breaking your own heart. 
“Hey! Glad you’re here!” The voice came from behind you, and when you turned around you saw Felix, a wide smile raising his freckled cheeks and creasing his eyes. “You look good by the way! Have you gotten a drink yet?” He had to shout above the music, and while you had heard his last question, you were too focused on the compliment he had given you right before. It sent a wave of heat rushing through you as you became more aware of his eyes that were looking you over. It didn’t seem disrespectful, but no one had ever looked at you that way, it had you just a little bit flustered. 
“Uhm… No… No, I just got here…” You stammered, and he nodded, placing his hand on the small of your back to lead you through the crowd towards the bar, standing quite close to you as if you’d get lost in the mass of people if he wasn’t practically connected to your hip. “I’ll just have a water for now… Thank you…” You told the bartender, and sure, it might seem a little lame to order water at a bar, but you didn’t want to be drunk when talking to Seungmin, he might not take you seriously. 
“Staying sober tonight, huh?” Felix joked, and you let out a small giggle as you shook your head. That wasn’t the plan entirely, but you didn’t want to start off your night with shots or anything either. Plus, you had walked for a good bit to get to the bar, and the last thing you wanted to do was rehydrate with alcohol. “Have you gotten to see Seungmin yet? I know it’s probably hard to get to him, he’s been being pulled in all different directions by a bunch of different people.” 
You hummed softly, it would be harder to get to him than you thought, but you were adamant now. You’d have him to yourself, even if it was just long enough to tell him that you loved him. “It’s okay… I’m sure he’ll come find me when he has the chance to.” You said, just loud enough for Felix to hear you. “You wanna go grab a table? I walked all the way here and my legs are kind of tired…” You offered, and he quickly nodded, his hand once again finding the small of your back as he led you to one of the empty tables, a little further from all the noise. 
“It’s so loud in here… I don’t know why he chose to have his party at a bar of all places…” Felix said, finally able to lower his voice just a little bit. You knew exactly why though, and you were sure that his new group of friends had some kind of say in it. Seungmin would probably be beyond drunk by the end of the night, and that had you more than slightly worried. 
“Hey! You finally made it!” Seungmins voice boomed over the noise, and your head instinctively whipped up to the sound of it. He froze for a split second when he looked at you, but his adams apple bobbed as he cleared his throat, running a hand through his already sweat-dampened hair as he chuckled. “I’m gonna go dance, you both gonna come out?” He asked, and while you knew Seungmin was a wonderful dancer in private, you had never expected him to dance in public, especially around all of his friends. 
“Sure…” You said, feeling a little shy. Maybe he wanted to dance with you? It’s not like you hadn’t been close to him before, he gave you piggyback rides often, but the music that was playing right now was surely not something that you’d dance to in any other way than sultry… Maybe even a little seductively. 
You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as you slowly got up out of your seat, trying not to lose Seungmin in the crowd as you followed behind him. The heat quickly dissipated when you saw his hands grab the waist of another girl, pulling her against him, their bodies swaying to the rhythm of the music. Nauseous was the only way to describe the way you were feeling. It was like you couldn’t breathe and the walls were closing in on you. You wanted to cry and your entire plan shattered right in front of you as you watched the man you were in love with move so sensually, so provocatively with another woman. 
“Y/N…” Felixs voice came from behind you once again, clearly seeing the same thing you were, and you simply shook your head, turning around and rushing to the exit, hoping that some fresh air would at least help you breathe, and being away from everyone on campus who already thought you weren’t good enough to be with Seungmin allowed you to finally let out the tears that you had been holding in. “Wait! Y/N!” Felix called out, breathless from racing after you, his arms wrapping around your waist to keep you from running off again. “It’s okay… It’s okay…” He repeated, but it’s like the sentiment had the opposite effect on you, and you let out a sob, turning around resting your forehead against Felixs shoulder as you continued to cry. 
“How do I stop loving someone, Felix?” You whimpered, and you heard him sigh, the sound almost as sad as you were. “He’s too good for me… I shouldn’t have ever loved him… I’m so stupid, Felix. I was… I was gonna tell him tonight… I’m so fucking stupid.” One arm wrapped tightly around your waist as his other hand pet over your hair, quiet shushes attempting to console you. Did Seungmin even know that he had just broken your heart? Would he even care if he did know? You were just friends, it was foolish to fall in love with him, now you were fully aware of that. His friends would never accept you, and although he had never striked you as the type, maybe his popularity with his friends meant more to him than his almost lifelong friendship with you. 
“It’s gonna be okay…” Felix once again said, his hands moving to cup your cheeks, a soft, sympathetic smile gracing his angelic features as he wiped away the tears that fell from your eyes. “We don’t have to stay here… I can walk you back to your place or… we can go grab something to eat? You look so beautiful, I wouldn’t want your outfit to go to waste.” He was trying, and you respected that, you appreciated it, but there was no way that you’d be able to keep your mind off of what you just witnessed long enough to pretend you were okay in a restaurant. 
“I just want to go home…” You mumbled, and Felix nodded as he started walking beside you. He didn’t ask any other questions, he didn’t say anything else. He was a great friend, and whoever was lucky enough to be with him… You knew he’d make them feel loved and supported no matter what. He was a wonderful person, he truly was an angel. “Thank you, Felix… Really…” 
///
“What the fuck!?” Seungmin was seething as he paced back and forth across the floor, his hands shaking as he ran them through his hair. “Why would you take her home!? You fucked up my whole fucking plan!” Seungmin continued to shout at Felix who sat on the couch, just as pissed off as Seungmin but for an entirely different reason. “I thought we were buds!” His palms slammed down against the kitchen counter, his forehead pressed against the cabinets as he tried- and failed -to calm himself down. 
“Oh fuck no! Don’t pull that shit with me!” Felix threw it right back at Seungmin, his own voice booming, the deepness of it sending vibrations through the air. “You tell me you love her and that you want to be with her, and then you pull some shit like that! This isn’t my fault! If you would have listened to me in the first fucking place and just told her how you felt, everything would be fine!” Felix was breathing heavily as he defended not only himself, but you as well, even if you weren’t there to hear it. “She was going to tell you that she loved you, but instead, she got to witness you attempting your stupid fucking plan! And guess what! It didn’t work! She’s devastated!” 
Seungmins head lifted from the cabinets, his face peeking around the corner as he looked at Felix. “She loves me? She told you that?” He whispered, just needing to be sure that Felix was being 100% honest right now, because if he was… well… he had just made the biggest mistake ever and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to fix it. Felixs eyes rolled as he nodded his head, although the movement was quite snarky, but he had a reason to act that way. Felix had told him from the beginning that you liked him, but Seungmin didn’t want to listen, he wanted to find out in his own way… Everything was backfiring. “What do I do? I… She probably doesn’t want to see me… She’s probably so upset… Fuck!” 
Felix shook his head, lounging back on the couch as he let out a humorless chuckle. “I ain’t helping you anymore. I already tried, and you went and did your own fucking thing. Figure it out yourself now.” The response definitely had Seungmin fuming again, but he didn’t have time to hash things out with Felix for another hour. He needed to check on you, which was easier said than done. You probably wouldn’t even open the door for him, and he wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, but he really wanted to apologize and tell you that he loves you, even if you might not feel the same way anymore. 
~
It had been three hours since Felix had walked you home and made sure you got in your house alright. He had given you a hug and waited out in the hallway, making sure to watch that you not only closed the door, but that he also heard it lock before he walked away. In those three hours, the only things you had managed to do were change out of the uncomfortable outfit that you had chosen for the stupid party, clean your face, and then go right back to crying as you curled up on your couch. 
Your phone vibrated on the arm of the sofa, and you were pretty sure that it would be Seungmin, and for the first time, you were hoping that it wasn’t. You didn’t have anything to say to him, you didn’t even know what you’d say to him. You were still devastated, and you didn’t want to talk to him at all. When you lifted your phone, it was a relief to see that it was Felix, but the relief was short-lived when you read what he had sent you. 
“Seungmin is on his way over to your place. Look… He’s like, madly in love with you, it’s almost disgusting. You’re all he talks about, and he didn’t know that you liked him back, so he was trying to test it and make you jealous by dancing with another girl… Don’t worry, I called him out on his bullshit. BUT! I think it would be so funny to flip the tables and pull some shit on him too… I don’t know… But if you don’t want to see him or if you’re still upset, you can always text me, alright. I just wanted to let you know.” 
Seungmin did that… To make you jealous… Because he was… In love with you? It made absolutely 0 sense in your mind, but the brain of a hormonal college man worked far differently than yours did. But to flip the tables on him, you would have never thought of doing something like that… not if Felix hadn’t put the idea in your head. You would have been so hung up on the fact that Seungmin did in fact love you, that you would have let everything else slide and gone running into his arms. You knew exactly what you were going to do though, and you were going to love every second of doing it. “Thanks Lix! I’ll let you know how it goes!” You quickly texted back before relaxing on the couch, mentally preparing for when Seungmin came to your door. 
~
Just slightly faster than sprinting, that’s how fast Seungmin was running. Along with nighttime came a slightly chillier air that burned his lungs whenever he took a deep breath, but the lights illuminating the windows on your building were like a beacon calling to him, pushing him to keep going just a couple minutes more, and then he’d finally be there. 
It was almost 2 in the morning now, and he wondered if you’d even still be awake. Had you cried yourself to sleep? He was the cause of it if you had, and his heart broke at the image in his mind, you curled up in your bed, the covers tucked under your chin as tears streamed down your face and soaked your pillow. He would never forgive himself for hurting you, especially when he could have gone the simpler route and just listened to Felix. He would have already had you if he had done that. He felt stupid, so damn stupid. 
Bursting through the lobby door, he went straight to the elevator, his pointer finger slamming against the call button, already impatient after only 5 seconds of waiting. Why did you have to live on such a high floor? Just as he was about to turn around and take the stairs, the bell rang out and he rushed into the little box, his finger once again repeatedly pressing against the button to close the doors and then the number of your floor. The elevator was moving at turtle speed and it felt like this was all being done on purpose, just to make him wait longer to see you. 
When the doors finally opened, he ran to yours, his hands coming down hard against the wood. Other tenants on the floor rushed out of their rooms, eyes wide, the urgent sound of his knocking made it seem like there was an emergency, and to him, there was. He felt like he was about to lose the love of his life, but to other people, he was just a madman, and honestly, a nuisance. 
Your door flew open and he was met with the most beautiful, heart stopping scowl. He had wanted to kiss you many times before, but now he wanted to kiss you way more. “Christ, Seungmin. What do you want?” You hissed, your own head looking around your door frame and shooting an apologetic look to your neighbors before your eyes were back on him, your glare so cold it sent chills down his spine. 
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I did that, and I’m sorry I upset you. I thought… I don’t know, that it would make you jealous and maybe you’d argue with me and I’d just, I’d just kiss you and tell you that I loved you and we’d laugh about it later. I didn’t think it would hurt you, I didn’t think it would make you cry, and I’m really… really sorry.” The words were spewed out so fast, it only took him about 25 seconds to go from the first word to the last. It took him just as long to catch his breath after saying so much without even a breath in between. 
“It’s whatever, Seungmin. I don’t even care… I mean… Your stupidity really opened my eyes and showed me that there’s someone out there who wouldn’t hurt me like that to try to show me they love me.” Someone else… There was someone else? He blinked a few times, and even though it was clicking, he didn’t want it to make sense, but he knew that the only other person that you had talked to tonight was Felix. But you couldn’t be talking about Felix… right? There’s no way in hell that he’d let something like that happen. “You can go now…” 
“No, you’re not kicking me out again!” He screeched, realizing that he was still standing outside of your apartment and then pushing his way in, closing the door behind him. “Call me stupid, hate me, ignore me… Do whatever you have to… Just… Don’t go to someone else. Please. I love you, I’ve always loved you. Your cringy little nicknames that you give me and all your little quirks and habits. I love all of that. I love the way you always sit front row at my games and hold up the little signs that you made yourself and cheer for me… Even when I’m sitting on the bench. You’re beautiful, and I’ve never felt so fucking idiotic in my life… I don’t want you to be with anyone else… Who is it? I’ll kick his ass for taking you from me.” 
Your head shook as you crossed your arms over your chest, your eyes closing as you let out a slow sigh. “Why does it matter who it is? He didn’t take me from you anyway, you were too busy trying to make me jealous and grinding up on some other girl to even notice that he was with me almost all night.” You retorted, and Seungmin saw red, his fists clenching at his sides. It was Felix. His nostrils flared as he turned on his heel without another word, ready to go right back to his place and beat the shit out of Felix… That is, until he heard you laughing. He paused, his hand on the doorknob, turning his head to look over his shoulder at you. 
“What? What’s funny? You think this is funny?!” It was a mixture of anger, jealousy and sadness that had his voice rising in pitch and volume as he stared at you, but your laughter only got louder as your head fell back, and then you slowly walked over to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the door. “Seriously, Y/N. I know it’s Felix. I’m gonna… Fuck! This isn’t funny! He knows how I feel about you… I can’t believe he’d do some shit like this… I’m fucking-” Before he could finish his sentence, your lips were on his, and he was shocked to say the least. 
When you pulled back, it was like his head was spinning, but in a good way. His cheeks were burning and he knew that you could probably see the blush forming under his skin. “Looks like you’re the one that gets easily jealous… It’s cute… You get so angry, like a bear or somethin’... Gonna start calling you boo boo bear now.” You were teasing him… But that meant it was all a joke… You didn’t like Felix… You still liked him. 
He let out a little growl, playful as he gripped onto your hips and backed you up against the nearest wall, your eyes sparkling in the light that hung on the ceiling as you looked up at him, your cheeks pulling up in a cheeky smile. “You’re a smartass… You’re lucky I love you, ya know that? Now tell me you love me too, come on. I came all the way over here, was pranked viciously by the girl I love… I deserve to be told that I’m loved.” He pouted at you, a look that he reserved solely for you, but you gave him a quick peck before wiggling out of his hold and running to the other side of the room, your giggling contagious as he chased after you. “Just tell me you love me! Come on!” 
“You have to catch me first!” You squealed, dodging him every time he got close to you, but he knew that you’d run out of breath soon, and he was just waiting for his chance to pounce. He continued to chase you though, loving the sound of your fits of laughter in between heavy breaths. Then your movement got slower, and you dropped down onto the couch, your hands held up in front of you. “Time out real quick!” You were breathless, strands of hair clinging to your sweat beaded forehead, but he didn’t follow your rules, and he pounced on you, pinning you down onto the couch, hovering just a few inches above you. 
Silence hung in the air, the only sound was that of his racing heart in his own ears and your panting from beneath him. It had his mind wandering, but he needed to stay focused, he needed to hear you say it. “I won…” He could barely get his voice above a whisper, his throat dry from exerting so much energy. “Do I get my reward now?” 
Your hands moved up to brush the hair out of his face, lifting yourself up just slightly to press a kiss to his lips, it had more meaning behind it though, it was deeper, it lasted longer, and he melted into it, his own lips moving against yours in perfect synch. Once your head fell back against the pillows, you looked almost drunk, your eyes slightly hazy, your pupils dilated as you looked up at him. “I love you, Seungmin… So much…” You murmured, and at those words he finally let himself collapse, his head resting against your chest, listening to the thrum of your heartbeat as your fingers pet through his hair. “Now you’re my boyfriend boo boo, right?” 
“Mmhm… and you’re my girlfriend… g-... my girlfriend goo goo? No? Give me some time. Either way, you’re mine.” 
Perm Taglist :
@whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me @mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin
@his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc @syuuji @jiisungllvr @yukichan67
@randomwimp @silentreadersthings @cutiespaghetti @furiousheartpoetry @lixpixstix
@felixluvr915 @wordsofkpop @kayleigh-28 @szkstay @spnwinchestersd @fleatree @yehsehneeah @vampcharxter @iloveksmohsomuch @lvlnijiro @neteyamsmate4life @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @delululi @insertsomethingaboutanimehere @karlitaburrito @laylasbunbunny @chimicurri-a @bandolls
@syuuji @moonlight-the-writer @smutdumpskz @extrhotjne @manuosorioh @yeonjunsfox @jazziwritesthings @itshannjisung
753 notes · View notes
starlost97 · 9 months
Text
— distractions.
Tumblr media
summary: You always hated when Max got into fights, and because of that, he stopped. However, when you came into question, he just couldn't help it.
tags: fluff, Max Verstappen (almost) fights, Max Verstappen is protective, walk him like a dog vibes, 2018!Max Verstappen, gn!reader.
characters: Max Verstappen.
warnings: almost a fight, lots of swearing, shoving.
a/n: I remember having so much fun writing this one! the prompt was "them hearing someone talking shit about you while you're not near". I didn't write what they said (just wrote that they said something)! also this one's a part of the shortfics series (that I desperately need a name to) as well!
word count: 491.
requested?: yes! by a friend.
Tumblr media
Max was known for his temper. At 21 years old he still got into fights, and for some time there was nothing that could stop him.
Then he met you, an incredibly sweet person that — for some reason — fell in love with him almost as hard as he fell in love with you. So now he had a reason to think before doing.
Still, when he heard someone muttering all the things that they would do to you, every piece of self-control that he had broke to pieces.
"What did you just say?” He asked, his voice a bit louder than usual. “Are you fucking deaf? What the fuck did you just say?”
“You are hearing things, Verstappen.” The man said, now a bit more courageous as he stepped closer with his hands in his pockets.
“Why don't you act like the man you pretend to be and own what you just fucking said?” Max said, shoving him hard against the wall.
“What's your fucking problem?” The guy asked, now getting angry.
“My problem?! You are asking me what my problem is.” Max asked, more to himself as he tried to process what he just heard. “I’ll show you exactly what my fucking problem is.” He said, violently grabbing the guy's collar and shoving him against the wall one more time. Max was angry enough to break the man's nose right there, but then, he heard a familiar voice.
“Max!”
In seconds, the guy was on the floor. Max didn't even hesitate to let him go and turn his attention to you, who had your arms crossed and looked at him with a look of disapproval.
“You know I don't like when you get into fights.” You said, making Max smile.
“I'm so sorry, babe. When he started talking shit about you… God, it was stronger than me.” He said, caressing your cheek with his thumb and kissing your forehead. He let his eyes linger around your features for a bit. “How can you be so pretty? I can't comprehend it.”
Someone might say that he was trying to change the subject so he doesn't get in trouble, but truly, everything about you was a distraction factor. Your rosy lips and how kisseable they are, the way your hair looks and feels so soft against his fingers, and your eyes…
God, your eyes.
Max was going crazy, really. One of his favorite things about you — even before you started dating — would be your eyes. And now when they look at him carrying such love…
Max likes to talk about how not even the greatest of the poets could express the feeling that those pretty eyes conveyed him.
“What were we talking about?” He asks, genuinely, as he comes back to reality, making you chuckle.
“Nothing important.” Max smiles at your answer, getting distracted once again by your pretty lips, which he gently kissed, now distracting you too.
1K notes · View notes
shapelytimber · 4 months
Text
Late night kebab ⭐
Tumblr media
[PRINT] - [COMMISSIONS]
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is based on sw 5 :) in that movie we're shown that Han and Lando were at the very least good friends and are now giving off major exes vibes. So this is them younger, after a long night at the casino, eating a kebab ! And Chewie is here because Han without Chewie just feels wrong (and I love them)
Process and usual rambling below vvv
My pain my curse my burden is that I love a cluttered scene- I love to draw a mess, with a million little objects and things....... The problems come when it's time to color everything flkflflfk
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's finaly finished ! Lando is now part of my sw sapphic au <3
For their design I went for a 70s inspired outfit, while keeping the cape because let's be real is it still them if I don't keep it. I also kept the mustache thanks to this ask ! They made me see the light of enby Lando :) I'll eventually make sketches to show the full outfit, and do some others because I really want to draw them in an outfit inspired by what they wear after joining the rebellion for a more masc look :3c
And for the colors I chose them based on the younger Lando's outfit because one of the only things I like about disney's star wars, is their young Lando design ! The bright yellow and blue, the tie, the hair- I think it works really well as both a younger, and "modernized" design ! Only thing I found a bit desapointing is that it's too safe- you really want me to believe Lando Calrissian is the type of man to wear the same-ish shirt, pants and cape for 10+ years ? (But that's a default all of disney's sw have, playing it safe to make as few original choices as possible, desperately reminding you of what came before to try to make you forget what you are whatching is mediocre. A constant flow of garbage that's not even brave enough to be bad, just mediocre- But the less I think or talk about disney the better gkgklgkf)
611 notes · View notes
untitledgoosegay · 2 months
Text
re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"
this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?
some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.
take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.
and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.
people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.
that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis
396 notes · View notes
evansbby · 5 months
Text
𝑻𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 (𝑾𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝑮𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝑫𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆)
Tumblr media
𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: mean jock!Ari Levinson x naive!Reader
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+, smut, mean Ari, condescending Ari, seriously he babies her so much in this, manipulative Ari, in fact just wg!Ari bc y'all know he's a warning in himself, daddy kink, oral (m receiving), cheating, lying, adultery, kind of public sex, sugar daddy vibes, dirty talk.
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You skip class to attend Ari's basketball practice because he finally wants to hang out with you.
𝐀/𝐍: This is a drabble that takes place before the events of Wicked Games. You don't have to read that fic to understand this drabble! Enjoy! And shoutout to this anon for the idea for this drabble!
Tumblr media
“Ari, you were so great!!!”
You can’t contain your excitement. You’ve spent the better part of the past hour sitting front row and watching Ari dominate during basketball practice. In fact, you’re so excited that you forget yourself, jumping into him and throwing your arms around his neck to give him the biggest hug. It doesn’t help that you’re genuinely so excited to see him. You haven’t spoken to him for an entire week and a half. But Ari had told you that he was going through the process of breaking up with Sharon, and that he needed some alone time to do that. He’d told you he’d contact you when he needed you, and that just so happened to be today! And of course, you’d jumped at the opportunity to see him play.
“Baby, relax,” Ari chuckles, not quite hugging you back. He looks around to see if anyone has seen you embrace him. The court was slowly emptying out, but a few people are still milling around, and so he simply pats your back before gently peeling you off of him, “I know you’re excited to see me but we gotta wait till we’re alone, don’t we?”
You pout, “I know, I know. But I thought you’d broken up with Sharon by now like how you said you would.”
Ari pauses before he shoots you his winning smile, chucking you under your chin like you’re a baby or something. “I have broken up with her, beautiful. But you don’t worry your little head about that, alright?”
“But–”
“No buts, baby. Let daddy handle his business, okay?” He grabs your shoulders and turns you around, patting your ass condescendingly, “In fact, why don’t you go sit in the bleachers and wait till I call you over?”
You frown, a part of you not appreciating how he’s lowkey dismissing you. “But I skipped class to be here for you, Ari. Just like you told me to.”
“I know that. And I’ll show you how appreciative I am for that later. But right now, there’s still people around, and we gotta lay low for a while, okay? You know daddy only wants what’s best for us.”
You’re about to open your mouth to argue some more, but when he squeezes your hip reassuringly, all your thoughts melt away. Oh, he was just so dreamy! You loved how in control he was, how he walked around like he owned everything and everyone. How he controlled you with such charm and ease. He really was just so manly and perfect! And things would be even more perfect once he made you his new girlfriend. Which would probably be any day now.
You sit in the bleachers and watch him talk to his teammates. A few cheerleaders are milling about – probably friends of Sharon, which was definitely why Ari didn’t want to be seen with you. It was understandable, but Ari had told you that him and Sharon had been having problems for a while now. He’d told you that they fought a lot and he didn’t want to be with her anymore, and vice-versa. He’d also told you that you were a baby and you didn’t have to worry about his relationship problems because babies like you couldn’t handle stuff like that and it was better if you just didn’t think at all.
So, that’s what you do. You try not to think. Sometimes, it’s easier that way.
After around fifteen minutes, the last person leaves the indoor court, and Ari closes and locks the door behind him, a mischievous grin on his face. You vaguely wonder why he has the key to the sports hall and who exactly put him in charge of locking up, but think better of bringing it up with him. Ari never really answered any of your questions properly anyways, and he also had a way of making you forget you’d even asked them in the first place.
“Hey, cutie,” he easily picks you up off the bench and into his arms, your tiny pink skirt riding upwards but he doesn’t care. In fact, he cups your butt cheeks lewdly, giving them a squeeze as he carries you down the steps towards the front benches, “I love your little outfit.”
You want to be mad at him for making you wait an extra fifteen minutes while he had ignored you, but your insides turn to mush at his compliment. You’d chosen your outfit especially for him, of course. Early on in your “relationship,” Ari had made it clear how he’d wanted you to dress for him. In cute, girly clothes – always revealing so he’d have something to look at while he played. And always short, so he’d have easy access once he had you all to himself.
And you loved dressing up for him. Today, you’d worn a cute light pink miniskirt and a white tank top with matching pink lacy trim. You’d gotten a few looks from the other guys on the basketball team – namely Curtis, who had even winked at you! But all of them paled in comparison to Ari – he was the biggest and sexiest and hottest man you’d ever known. And you were so glad that your outfit had impressed him.
“Thank you, I wore it just for you,” You beam up at him, winding your arms around his neck again to be as close to him as possible as he smirks and sits down on the bench, with you in his lap. “Although it’s not very nice how you ignored me the whole time I was here!”
“Aww, you’re such a little baby, aren’t you?” Ari coos, doing that thing where he starts babying you to the extreme. He even reaches up to pull your cheek condescendingly. “Little baby skipped her class to see me, huh?”
“Uh huh!”
“Well, you have my full attention now, sweetheart,” He fingers the material of your skirt, pushing it up even more to get a better look at your bare legs. “And of course I know you wore this for me, you always wear your slutty little outfits to impress me. I find it very cute, actually.”
He kisses the top of your nose while you squirm, embarrassed at how obvious your attempts at winning his favour are. It’s just, you can’t help it! He’s the hottest, most popular senior on campus and for some reason, he’s interested in plain, simple little you! You feel like you’re living in a fairytale sometimes.
You open your mouth to say something, but soon grow distracted by Ari as he slips the straps of your top down your shoulders. Then he dips his finger into your cleavage before tugging your top down. He licks his lips when your lacy pink bra is exposed, cupping your tits through the material and squeezing. Hard. It makes you wince, but you know better than to stop Ari while he’s fondling you. You’ve learnt that he likes to take his time with your body, exploring, kissing, caressing and touching each crevice. He especially loves your ass, and recently he’s been quite into your tits too.
Just the other night, he’d made you give him a strip tease. He’d sat on the edge of your bed, a can of beer in his hand from whatever party he’d stumbled out of before making his way to your dorm room in the early hours of the morning. “Strip for daddy, and maybe I’ll give you a reward,” he’d said, watching with dark, expectant eyes as you’d shyly slipped your PJ top off. “Slower, baby,” he’d commanded, before grabbing the front of your bra and yanking you into him with such force that your pretty bra had snapped completely, and your tits had spilled out. Immediately, he’d latched on to your nipple, sucking, nipping and biting for what seemed like hours. He’d even poured his beer all over your breasts, licking it off while he made you hump his thigh and cum over and over again till you’d cried like a little baby from the overstimulation.
Now, the memory makes you shiver as you watch Ari play with your tits, a look of unabashed lust on his face. Shyly, you bring your fingers up to card through his thick hair, smiling when he slightly leans into your touch.
“Are we gonna go back to your room tonight, Ari?” You ask him innocently, twirling a piece of his hair round your finger.
“Nah, I have somewhere to be later, baby. You know how it is.”
Your heart sinks and you pout, hoping he’d see your disappointment but he’s too busy fondling your body to notice. You’d never been to Ari’s room before – he’d told you never to go there. That if he wanted to see you, he’d call or text you himself. The furthest you’d gotten to was the inside of Ari’s car in the dead of the night when the roads were all empty. Apart from that, he always just came to your dorm room. In fact, you’d given him a spare key to make it easier for him to come and go as he pleased, hoping this would show him how serious you were about him.
Suddenly annoyed that he was going to ditch you tonight to go somewhere else, you untangle yourself from him and jump off his lap, a glimmer in your eye.
“I wanna play basketball!” You say, voice all sweet and twinkly. It wasn’t often that you ever got to tease him, and even rarer when you succeeded. But that didn’t mean you’d stop trying.
Ari looks unamused, “Get back on my lap.”
“No, I think I’m gonna play some basketball.” You muse, skipping away from him and hoping he chases you. You grab a basketball from nearby and dribble it gently, not wanting to ruin your nails, “Come play, daddy.”
Teasing Ari always went one of two ways. Often, he just wouldn’t have it, telling you that babies like you weren’t meant to tease, that you didn’t know how. He’d shut down your teasing instantly, telling you that he was the one who’d taught you everything you knew about sex and therefore he’d always be two steps ahead of you. Either that, or he’d just lose his patience and fuck you hard just to show you that you could never tease your daddy, that he’d always be in control.
But sometimes… Oh, sometimes he’d play along.
Now, he stands up to his full height (six foot six and a half, last time he’d let you measure him), and in two easy strides he’s on the shiny court floor next to you. You smile cutely up at him, dribbling the ball in front of his face. But a mere second later, he snatches it away from you before you’ve even realised what’s happened. Smirking, he spins it around on the tip of his pointer finger with ease, looking down at you cockily.
“You wanna play, huh? Fine. Let’s play.”
What follows is insanity. You’d thought he’d go easy on you, but he does the exact opposite. “Try and steal the ball from me,” he challenges, dribbling circles around you while you try to grab it from him. But you’re way too slow, and too small. Easily, he switches hands while dribbling, or he holds the ball over your head, making you jump for it. At one point, you do manage to get hold of the ball, but he slaps it out of your grasp so easily it’s laughable. Except the only one laughing is him, while you shoot him a sour look.
Your plan had been to be lithe and fast, trying to look sexy on the court as you dodged him each time he tried to grab you. But Ari’s got you all sweaty and bothered, running around the court and trying to catch up with him as if it’s a basketball bootcamp or something.
“C’mon, Miss ‘I wanna play basketball,’ try and shoot a basket,” Ari taunts you as if you’re one of his real-life opponents, throwing the ball at you not-so-lightly. You breathe hard and scowl at him before taking aim and doing your best imitation of a jump shot. But Ari, being the giant that he is, easily slaps the ball away before it even touches the rim of the basket. He doubles over in laughter, “Wow, princess. You really suck.”
“Don’t be mean!” You complain, trying to shoot again. “It’s ‘cause you’re in the way, you big giant! Move so I can see where I’m shooting!”
Ari rolls his eyes, not budging an inch, “It’s called guarding, genius.”
“I don’t care what it’s called! It’s not fair if I can’t see the basket!”
He shrugs, moving to the side. You smile, take aim and shoot. But of course, he easily swats the ball aside again, using his other hand to stifle his yawn while you gape at him.
Then, he decides it’s time to teach you how to do a layup shot, “Just take three running steps and jump to shoot.”
“Okay, Ari, thanks for the pointer!”
You take a deep breath, preparing to do just that. Except he shoves you the moment you start running. But even a light shove from someone as big as Ari has enough force that you fall over, ending up in a sorry heap on the shiny court floor, a dismayed look on your face as you stare at your broken nail.
Ari doubles over in laughter, as if he’s just performed the practical joke of the century. You pout, staring sadly at your poor nail. You’d just gotten this set done less than a week ago in anticipation that he’d notice and say something! You can’t help it when your lower lip juts outward even more, your eyes welling with tears.
“Aww, come on, don’t be such a baby,” Ari crouches down next to you, patting your head condescendingly, “It’s not my fault girls suck at basketball.”
“You’re a big fat cheater and a meanie!”
“And you’re the cutest little cry-baby,” he chuckles, pulling your cheek while you glare at him through your tears. Oh, why did he have to look so handsome, even with that cocky, shit-eating grin on his face? He wipes your tears with his thumb, amusement shining through his eyes, “See, that’s what happens when you try and act like a tease.”
You cross your arms over your chest, “I hate you.”
“For being a better basketball player?”
“No! For cheating and for being mean and for breaking my nail!” You sniffle, “I’m a girl, Ari, you’re supposed to go easy on me!”
“I was going easy on you.”
He bursts out laughing when you shoot him another glare. But what you don’t expect is him lifting you up. Easily, as if you’re as light as a feather, he hoists you on top of his shoulders. Fearfully, you hang on tight for dear life as he stands up to his full height, handing you the basketball in the process.
“Fine, if the baby wants special treatment, I guess that’s what you’ll get,” he says, walking over to the hoop till you’re face to face with it. “C’mon, baby. Shoot your shot. If you miss from up there, then I’ll have no faith left in you.”
Smiling through the remnants of your tears, you finally score a basket, letting out a delighted little yelp despite the fact that you’ve literally been hoisted up to eye level with the hoop. “I did it! I scored a point!”
Ari gently puts you down on your feet, before thinking better of it and hoisting you up again. This time, you wrap your legs around his waist while his hands rest firmly on your ass.
“You did,” he says softly, “You scored a point. Well done, baby.”
He kisses you, and the gentleness of it catches you by surprise. But it only lasts a second or two before he grows impatient. Then, his kisses grow more ravenous, biting at your lips and pushing his tongue past them. But even when it’s all fast and rugged, his kisses are still the best, they still make your head spin in the best way possible, make you want to make out with him forever if he’d let you.
He takes you back over to the benches, back to how you two were before the impromptu basketball match. But this time, he quickly slips your top off, till you’re straddling him in just your pink lacy bra and your tiny little skirt.
“You broke my nail, by the way,” you point out when he takes your hand and presses it against his hard crotch.
“Mm?” Surprisingly, Ari tears himself away from kissing and fondling you to take a look at your broken nail and scoff, “Just glue it back on or whatever.”
“That’s not how it works, Ari!”
He rolls his eyes, before getting his phone out of his pocket. You watch as he types away, not too sure what he’s doing. But you don’t have to wonder for long, when a second later, your own phone pings with a notification.
A. Levinson transferred $400 to your bank account.
“Oh my gosh, Ari! You shouldn’t have!” You squeal happily, inadvertently bouncing up and down in his lap and making him grunt and press his boner up against your butt. You hug him tightly, maybe deliberately pressing your chest against him. “Seriously, nails don’t cost this much to get done.”
He shrugs, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear, “Then go buy yourself something nice with whatever’s left.”
You definitely would! Oh, you loved how he took care of you! This wasn’t the first time Ari had sent you money casually on a whim. It’s how you’d found out that he was loaded – or his parents were. Like in the three weeks that you’d been hooking up with him, he’d surprised you with multiple gifts and gestures. Once he’d had a box of very expensive lingerie delivered to your room along with an intricate bouquet of pink roses. The lingerie had been pink too, and you loved how he knew it was your favourite colour.
He was also always calling you Ubers, and ordering food for you, and sending you exorbitant amounts of money whenever you mentioned having to get the bus to go into town or something normal like that. Once, you’d said you were going shopping with Wanda, and Ari had told you to take his credit card with you. You’d declined, obviously, but it made you giddy knowing how well you’d be taken care of once he made you his official girlfriend.
“Thank you, daddy,” you say sweetly. Feeling slightly devilish now, you get off his lap and sink down to your knees in front of him. Ari shoots you a cocky look, pressing the top of your head down as he pushes your hand past the waistband of his sweats. You lick your lips when your fingers encircle around his thick cock, pulling it out right there in the middle of the court.
You’d never given a blowjob before Ari, and he’d made sure to teach you how to do it to his exact liking. Now, he holds your hair out of the way so he can see your face as he shoves his dick past your lips. He always warned you that you had to maintain eye contact while you sucked his dick, that all good babies looked their daddy straight in the eye when getting their throat fucked. And you feel him get even harder, the act of stuffing his huge cock down your tiny throat making him hornier than ever.
“Good girl,” Ari breathes, petting your head condescendingly, “Such a good little girl for daddy. You take my cock so well, don’t you? Like your lips were made for sucking cock, fuck!”
You try to take him as deep as you possibly can, but he’s way too big and girthy for you to deep-throat him all the way. The first time you’d tried, you’d ended up gagging and crying and Ari had laughed at you and called you a baby and told you that you had to learn to be a better cocksucker if you wanted to keep him happy. You’d promised that you’d try, and he’d been all too happy to teach you, using those “lessons” as an excuse to get you on your knees in front of him as many times as he wanted.
Not that he ever needed an excuse. He knew as well as you did that Ari Levinson owned your body.
“You’re such a slutty little girl, sucking your daddy’s cock in the middle of the basketball court,” Ari whispers, his voice so gravelly yet velvety smooth at the same time, turning you on down to your core. “Is this why you were so desperate to see me, baby? You wanted my cock that badly, huh?”
He pulls your head back, and you gasp for breath before nodding desperately, “Y-Yeah, I think about you all the time!”
Ari smirks, “I know you do. You’re fucking obsessed with me, aren’t you?” He yanks your hair, making you nod your head up and down with your mouth stuffed with his cock once more. “And you look so fucking cute, baby. On your knees for your daddy like the obedient little girl you are.”
He thrusts into your mouth hard as fast, effectively fucking your face ruthlessly. He often got like that, rough and hard and rugged. He was just so strong, and you guessed that sometimes he just didn’t know his own strength. Like now, as he bobs your head up and down roughly on his thick length, like an iron rod jamming in and out of your mouth at top speed, getting your face all messy in the process – which he also loved.
From your peripheral, you see Ari’s phone vibrate and glow from where he’s kept it right next to him on the bench. And you don’t mean to invade his privacy, but it’s close enough that you can just about make out the text that appears on his screen.
Curtis: You still with your little fangirl? 😂😂😂
You pull off Ari’s dick with a pop, quickly wiping your mouth and frowning up at him.
“Fangirl?!”
Ari grabs his phone and reads the text quickly before setting it down again and smirking. He rubs your cheek softly while pumping his dick casually with his other hand.
“Classic Curtis. He probably meant to send that to Colin. You know Colin Shea, right baby? He and his band had a gig tonight, and he has literal fangirls who come watch his every show. That’s what Curtis was referring to.”
Oh. That made sense. Didn’t it?
You smile up at Ari sheepishly, “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions.”
He doesn’t grace you with an answer, instead yanking you up by the hair till you’re on your feet once more, standing between his legs while he looks at you and pumps his dick. Pulling you into his lap, his hands immediately go to your butt, kneading it and squeezing it like it’s a toy. You can feel his dick, hot and heavy and twitching against your stomach, and it makes you want to press your thighs together.
Ari seems to get the message, finally pushing his hand between your legs to give your poor, neglected pussy some attention.
“She missed me, huh?” Ari grins wolfishly, his fingers gliding up your soaking slit before he pinches your clit meanly. “Tell me how your little baby pussy missed her daddy.”
“Sh-She missed you!” You garble, playing along with his dirty talk as you rock against his hand, wanting him to push his fingers inside you, or rub you or do something to make you feel good too. You haven’t felt his expert touch in more than a week, and your body is desperate for the relief that only Ari Levinson could give you.
Instead, he grabs your hips, lifting you and lining your cunt up on top of his hard dick. Oh, he was going to fuck you! Right here in the bleachers of the basketball court! Thrill ripples through you at the thought of doing something so naughty, although you’re happy that he’d locked the doors and no one was able to come inside.
“How bad do you want my daddy dick?” He breathes, looking all casual as if he’s not as feral for you as you are for him. You envy how well he hides his desperation, how in control he always is. You wish you were like that, but sex was so new and exciting to you. He’d made you obsessed with his cock, he’d made you want him all the time, and you had zero patience when it came to fucking him and getting that sweet pleasure only he could give you.
“So, so bad, Ari! Please put it in me! Please!”
“I don’t know, baby,” He pretends to think about it, the cockiest smile on his face, “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.”
“Please do it!”
Desperately, you grab at his cock but he easily slaps your hands away and shoots you a warning look.
“Beg me some more,” he orders you while pumping his dick lazily, “And I’ll think about it.”
You do. You beg him and you plead him. With Ari, your self-respect and dignity sometimes went out the window and you didn’t even care. When he’s got you all submissive and desperate, you’d do absolutely anything he asked of you. He’s got you right under his thumb and he knows it, and all you can do is cry like a baby, and whine for his cock. Tell him how badly you want it, how you’ve been craving him and missing him all week. How you always think about him, how you miss how full he made you feel the last time he fucked you. How he made you see stars behind your eyes with how skilled of a lover he was.
Ari smirks, praising you for being such a desperate little slut for him, and he’s about to sink you down on his dick when his phone starts vibrating again. This time, you don’t see the name that flashes on the screen, but you pout in dismay when he answers the call.
“Hey. Yeah, I’m with Curtis.”
You frown. Who was he talking to? One of his other friends?
“Tonight? Really?” Ari frowns, listening to whoever’s talking on the other end, “Yeah, that’s cool.”
He grunts, “Okay, I’ll be there when I’ll be there. I’m busy right now. Bye.”
He hangs up before focusing his attention back on you.
“Wh-Who was that, Ari?”
“No one.”
You bite your lip, “Was it Sharon? I thought you said you broke up with her?”
“We’re practically broken up,” he says vaguely before he starts kissing your neck. “You done asking questions?”
“I just think that– AH! OH FUCK!”
In one quick motion, Ari slams you down on his cock. Hard. You scream and grip on to his muscular biceps tightly, and he doesn’t give you even one second to adjust or catch your breath before he starts bouncing you up and down.
“Little girls like you aren’t meant to ask their daddies dumb questions,” he whispers silkily in your ear, forever casual and unperturbed as he fucks you hard, “So now the only think I want to hear coming out of your mouth is my name, got that?”
“Ngh, fuck! Y-Yes, daddy!”
“That’s my good little girl.”
Tumblr media
AHHHH omg, first wicked games drabble done!! Poor reader, she has no idea the rollercoaster she's in for. I had forgotten how innocent and naive she was until I reread WG1 a few days ago, and that's why she's so innocent here! Ari really goes on to do a number on her lmfaooo (and Steve too). BUT ANYWAYS. Do let me know what you thought! Reblogs, comments, asks with feedback are all SOOOO welcome! This is around 4k words btw but I wrote it fairly quickly in a few hours! TYSM K I SHALL STOP YAPPING NOW BYE.
762 notes · View notes
carionto · 1 year
Text
Humans really like space wildlife
As Humanity integrates itself within the Galactic Coalition ever further, trade and travel between Sol and neighboring member systems is growing at exponential rates. In particular, their interest in the native wildlife of other planets is the most widely expanding sector for tourism and commerce.
Even though it is also the most heavily regulated and restricted one, Humans, who typically display a desire to subvert the normal procedures to expedite any process they can, for this they are surprisingly willing and eager to fill in all the necessary paperwork and spend hours upon days making sure they follow and adhere to all the requirements to import some of these creatures.
While such level of determination is not uncommon for new member species who discover a certain non-native creature or something that to the respective natives is commonplace but for them is the pinnacle of exotic, the variety of requests made by Humans is nearly as great as the entire list of known fauna species. And the reasons listed on the forms are even more diverse:
"That's a unicorn! I've always dreamed of having a unicorn and you're telling me there's a dozen subspecies?! Yes, please!!!"
"After reviewing their behavior, this bear-sized fluff-ball is the perfect cat I've always wanted, but couldn't because of allergies. I'll treat them with love and care, my life is incomplete without this fella."
"Tiny. Elephant-duck. Want."
"Our company was looking for a mascot, and these six-legged spindly beaver-crabs are perfect. Here's our mission statement and prepared accommodations for a flock."
"They all said I hallucinated the lizard sasquatch when I was on that acid trip, but now I'll show 'em. It's real. I knew it all along!"
"Aww, these baby puppies are so adorable (referring to the four meter, 800kg Fanged Widowmaker of Abyss Valley predator). My kids were looking through your alien picture books and instantly fell in love with these ones."
And so on. At first we had to reject quite a few, mainly because half of them were deadly beasts from Deathworlds that are almost impossible to capture in the first place. Then the Human officials informed us that, while they will try to stop it from happening, if we don't make importing and adopting even the most dangerous animals in the known Galaxy reasonably possible for them with Human help and expertise in the field, some Humans will set up illegal smuggling rings to "fill the market gap" as they said. Historically, they explained, that causes more problems and expenses than just handling it through official channels.
Reluctantly we were persuaded and have set up a new organization to quell this, apparently, unquenchable Human pack bonding condition. Even if said pet can kill them. We think, as horrible as it may be, that for some that is part of the appeal. Even the ones that breathe out literal poison.
"We'll wear a mask around them. This wendigo-like one is too cute to not get belly rubs."
Said the OFFICIAL Human Representative of a monstrosity that can only be described as the living incarnation of countless teeth, fangs, claws, vivid seizure inducing iridescent feathers, and a body that extends from a inconspicuous ambush pose to a fully 8 meter tall six limbed nightmare machine of Death!
2K notes · View notes
thealogie · 7 months
Note
picture this. you're michael sheen, beloved queer-friendly welsh actor and recent twilight saga vampire. you want your favorite book to become a tv show, and you want to be the lead. so what do you do? you befriend the author. he wines and dines you, you become a confidant in the scriptwriting phase. and in the process of the GO script you decide you don't want to be crowley, actually, you want to be aziraphale. you put in the work for months to influence the author to the same conclusion. so when neil gaiman comes to you one day saying, "i know you joined on to be crowley... but how would you feel about playing aziraphale?" you say, what a novel idea! i was feeling the same way, i just didn't want to say anything! let's do it.
you're michael sheen, the lead in the adaptation of your favorite book. you meet david tennant as your leading man, a rising star (and vocal fan of yours) you've had a few vague interactions with in the past. on set you immediately find the closest friend you have ever and will ever find in your life, and you know this. the romance you have in your (yes, your) show is ambiguous, but you're michael sheen. you think that romance needs to be explicit. so what do you do? you become a nightmare on set. you get really hands-on; you make costume choices, you make story decisions, you tell your author friend at the very end of filming: aziraphale is in love with crowley and realizes it in 1941. now go do it again.
so the author goes and does it again. you get a season 2. you get 1941 part 2. you're michael sheen, and you are the lead of the adaptation of your favorite book, and the romance you littered into the character you built from the ground up has become unambiguous. everything goes according to plan. but, you see, you have a problem: the author you have baby trapped is acting a FIEND on twitter and tumblr. he's saying everything he can to imply aziraphale and crowley aren't sexually attracted to each other. he's getting a bit too bold with his character assumptions, is all i'm saying. so here's what you're going to do: you play it up with your pal david tennant. you made a show with him during lockdown. you're going to depict your lives as even more intertwined and homoerotically codependent as previously possible. you grow even closer. your wives become best friends, too, because how could they not? this has been the plan since the beginning, too. your lockdown show ends. it wasn't enough.
so you, michael sheen, of course you put in the work. if david tennant's there, you're damn sure you're there physically, spiritually, biblically, in whatever capacity you can be. it's not hard. david tennant is a big fan of yours, after all, so he MAKES SURE you're always in the conversation. you have him wrapped around your little finger, this lovely little boy, and so you know what you do next? you become neighbors. you make your directorial debut casting your best friend's wife watching her husband and male neighbor initiate sex with each other. you play into the swinging rumors (that you, michael sheen, had started). you create a narrative that you and david tennant are two homoerotic besties, and is there more going on in the background there? any deeper conspiracy? who really knows, but what you do know is that the world is talking about it.
and you, michael sheen, your entire acting career has led to this moment, your gay quips, your oscar wilde sex scene (and the interviews following), all of your queer roles, EVERYTHING has brought us to this conclusion. you have created the lab perfect conditions where season 3 must have an explicit gay sex scene. i'm sorry neil, my hands are tied! the people are clamoring for me and david tennant to have sex-- i mean aziraphale and crowley to have sex, the public decided this all on their own! i really don't think you have much choice. but of course, i would never deign to tell an author how to practice his veritable craft. i concede to whatever version of series 3 you create, and i will happy to bring this beloved character to his deserved ending.
and why do you say this? because you're michael sheen. you're just an actor who incidentally stumbled his way into leading the queer romance adaptation of your favorite book that wasn't a romance, and you just read the script the way that it was given to you. and if series 3 means an explicit sex scene between you and your best friend david tennant, then what a lovely coincidence that you had absolutely no part in making happen. because what power do you really have?
This is my favorite book I’ve read so far this year. A rare occasion where the author pulls off use of the second person pov. I really felt like I was a beloved welsh actor crossed with Machiavelli when I read this
766 notes · View notes
lowkeyremi · 7 months
Text
WHEN THEY'RE CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR HAIR jjk x black!fem!reader
remi's note: i just wanted to do something like this cuz i thought about how most of the black readers seem to have braids all the time. so this is when they see your natural hair!! this applies to any black girl hair type but mostly 4c bc that's my hair type. hope you like it :)
Tumblr media
He's been staring at you for at least thirty-five minutes and it's finally starting to work your nerves.
"What are you looking at?" You ask him with slight irritation in your tone.
"I just.. I don't think I've ever seen your hair out like that before." He says quietly. It settles your nerves to know he's not looking at you like you're weird, he's looking at you out of curiosity. You've been braiding your hair into cornrows so your natural hair can breathe. It's not healthy for your hair to always be in braids.
He watches as you part your hair with ease, it wasn't always like this though. It took time and patience to be able to do what you do to your hair now. There were several times where you came close to giving up, because your hair is just so thick and there's so much of it.
"Well, this is what it looks like when it's not styled. Get used to it cuz I'm not paying for braids all the time." You quickly oil one section of your scalp before you start the braiding process.
"I mean.. I'll pay for them if you want, baby, but your natural hair is so cute." The idea of being accepted by your partner for who you are, unconditionally makes your heart beat wildly.
"Is it soft? It looks really soft." Child-like curiosity and pure excitement takes over his features. You usually don't let people touch your hair but for your boyfriend you'll make an exception.
"Are your hands clean? I just washed and deep conditioned it." You've never seen him hop off the couch that fast. You hear the kitchen sink running. When his hands are clean and dry he makes his way over to the couch you're sitting on.
His eyes ask 'can I?' and you give him a small nod. He softly taps the top of your unbraided hair as if it would break if he touched it too hard.
"Wowwwwwwwww. Can you teach me how to braid it so I can do it for you?" The way he's acting like a little kid seeing a cute puppy makes you giggle.
"I doubt you'll get it on the first time but I'll teach you if you want." His smile about doubles when you agree. Everything about you is pretty, your skin, your eyes, and of course your pretty curls.
GOJO, yuji, YUTA, choso, inumaki, TODO, NANAMI
He's never watched you take out your braids before, but now that he's doing it, he's invested. You've noticed it but decided not to say anything, if he has any questions he has absolutely no problem asking you.
"What are you gonna do when you take all the braids out?"
"Wash it and braid it up myself. Or maybe I'll twist it up." Instead of saying something he just nods.
He tries to fake uninterested but you see the quick little glances he thinks that he's sneaking in.
"Do you ever straighten it?"
"Sometimes yeah, but it's not great for my hair, heat in general I mean." You quickly cut a braid slightly longer than your natural hair so the unbraiding process goes by much faster.
"I think I like when it's out. I've never seen your hair all poofy before." He's confused when you giggle at his terminology for your hair.
"You mean my afro?" He nods again. "I think you should wear it out more often let your scalp breathe you know?"
The fact that he knows a little bit about your hair makes you proud and content. "Yeah but that means extra work because I have to twist it up before going to bed. So I don't wake up in the morning with my hair all scrunched up."
He sets his phone down and sits closer to you than he was before, "I'll help you twist it. I want to see that pretty hair of yours."
"Well, I have to wash and condition it first, but since you're over here you can help me take my braids out. Don't cut too close though."
"Girl, I know what I'm doing, your hair is not that long." He gets a playful slap to the chest for that comment.
TOJI, megumi, GETO, sukuna, naoya
822 notes · View notes
charliedawn · 2 years
Text
How would they react if you kissed their scars ?
Tumblr media
Vincent had remained with the mask for so long, it had become part of your everyday life.
You had never questioned it...not until you walked into his bedroom one day and found that Vincent had not yet put on his mask.
He hadn't heard you come in—too focused on his latest piece of art.
So, you made sure not to disturb him as you looked at his new 'piece'.
You shivered. You really didn't want to be thinking about the poor guy trapped underneath the wax.
So, you focused back on Vincent instead.
The bad part of his face was not completely facing you, but you could make out the disfigured part he wanted to hide...It broke your heart.
"...Vinny ?"
You called him and Vincent's eyes widened in shock at the sight of you and he hurried to reach for his mask, but you were quicker.
You grabbed the mask and took a couple of steps back.
Vincent didn't understand what you were doing until you placed a soft kiss on the interior of the mask and finally put it back on him.
He let you and his breath hitched as he saw the genuine smile on your face.
"You're very handsome...Don't let the mask fool anyone."
He was stunned.
Truth was, Vincent had worn this mask all his life and had never thought for a second that anyone would call him 'handsome' in his life.
It brought tears to his eyes as he suddenly hugged you and buried his face in the crook of your neck.
His new piece of art left unattended as he asked you to kiss that part of his face again and again...his mask slipping off in the process.
But, he was too happy to care.
Tumblr media
Now, Jason is the insecurity boy.
He hates that he's tall, hates his face, hates his clumsiness...
But, whenever he would be with you, his insecurities seemed to wither into nothingness.
He still had problems with leaving the mask behind though. People used to call him awful things and even though he had partially healed with time, the pain was still there.
So, when you walked in when he was getting ready—he almost fell backwards and covered his face with his hands.
"LEAVE ! GET BACK !"
He was afraid and screamed when you tried to touch him—only for you to fight against every single survival instinct in your body and hug him tightly.
"...Ssh...It's alright. You don't need to be afraid. I love you. Your face doesn't change that."
Jason was shocked at your words and he gripped the fabric of your shirt tightly to hide his face and not let you see him cry.
He held you like you were his only lifeline, and maybe you were.
Tumblr media
Now, Bo is a whole other story.
He doesn't like physical affection.
But, you still wanted to show him that you loved him.
So, as he was working on a car, you asked for a tool. He was so focused on his task, he absent-mindedly obeyed and just gave you one of his tools to keep you happy—not expecting you to take his hand instead.
You stroked the damage skin on his wrist and looked up at Bo who seemed uncharacteristically quiet, no longer focused on the car.
You then pressed your lips to the scars around his wrists and his eyes followed your movement with baited breath.
He suddenly retrieved his hand, as if burnt by the sensation alone.
"What in the carnation do ya think you're doin' ?!"
But you didn't answer.
You only shook your head and grabbed his arm gently to bring it back to your lips.
You peppered it with kisses and Bo licked his dry lips before smiling and closing the gap between the both of you to kiss your forehead.
"...You' really sumthin', ain't ya sugar ?"
In response, you stuck out your tongue cheekily at him and smiled.
However, you didn't expect it when Bo mimicked you and the tip of your tongue touched his.
You took a step back and flushed red as he tipped his hat at you.
"Well, now that we've shared our DNA, I'll go prepare dinner.", he announced before turning away to leave.
"GROSS, BO !", you finally shouted after him—but a small hidden smile tugged at the corner of your lips.
He laughed.
"Yeh yeh. You'll live."
He then hurried out of the house—ignoring the way you tried to call him back.
His own face felt hot and he hurried outside.
~That was dangerous. He almost lost control.
Tumblr media
Brahms loved it when you took care of him, he had found a comfortable daily routine with you.
But, of course...You had to become curious.
You waited until he was asleep before slowly creeping into his bedroom to try to remove his mask.
You smiled as you saw his peaceful sleeping face and couldn't resist laying a kiss on his masked cheek.
You then hesitated about your plan. Would he be mad if you took a quick look ?
However, before you could think about it any further, Brahms grabbed your hand and yanked you forward into his arms.
You let out an undignified surprised yelp.
His breath was shallow and you felt so ashamed of having been caught, but he then quickly whispered in your ear.
"Brahms...Likes Y/N...Don't want them to be...afraid..."
Your heart squeezed as you wrapped your arms around him and smiled.
"Brahms has nothing to be afraid of. Y/N will stay with him. Because Y/N loves Brahms."
Brahms' eyes widened at the use of the l-word and his grip on you tightened as he let you take off the mask.
You were speechless for a second and Brahms thought it was because you were horrified and immediately tried to reach for his mask, but you shook your head and threw his mask away.
"...Pretty.", you muttered and kissed his burnt side with tenderness.
His eyes watered and he held you infinitely closer.
He never wanted to let you go.
His mother had called him pretty only once in his life, and he remembered feeling so much happiness from the word alone.
It made him happy and sad at the same time.
Because, it also reminded him of the burns on his face and the fact that his face would never be the same again.
You would never see how pretty he looked back then. You would never see the face he wanted you to see...But, you still found him pretty.
And that made Brahms feel as if you had sown a part of his heart back into place.
Tumblr media
Freddy. Freddy doesn't have insecurities. What he does have however is a painful fear of rejection and a huge ego clashing in an eternal battle for dominance.
His ego as the big scary demon and his fear of who he used to be...
He hates his reflection. He would never admit it to you, but you noticed the way he constantly avoided mirrors.
"...Ain't you gonna try to escape ?", he finally asked one day—hiding the true depth of the reason behind the question.
He wanted you to answer yes, so he could completely be overwhelmed by the demon and be done with it.
Freddy used to be a scrawny little nuisance—just good enough for manual work.
He had never been a great scholar, barely made it to high school.
Freddy—the pushover—that's what people used to call him...Well, until he killed them all.
"Nah. Have you seen me running...?", you answered with a small playful grin...But, it didn't work. He frowned and let out a small huff.
"Come on. Don't go all witty on me. Give me a real answer."
You tilted your head quizzically at him. Why the sudden need for an answer ?
He didn't dare look at you in the eye and that's when you understood. Freddy was doing the most Freddy thing.
He was testing you.
He wanted to know if you really stayed because you liked him, or because he was just another mere distraction.
"I'm telling you that I have no intention to run."
You finally told him the truth and Freddy's eyes widened as he crouched in front of you and stared at you—his claws gleaming in the dark.
"Don't you dare lie to me."
"You don't believe me ?"
"Ya just saying stuff...To make me happy.", he muttered under his breath and you gasped at the accusation. That's when you cupped his face and forced him to look you in the eyes again.
"I would never lie to you."
You then kissed him on the lips and his eyes widened at the unexpected action.
"...Here. Is it enough proof for you ?", you asked with a knowing grin and Freddy felt stunned for a second before he chuckled.
"~Maybe.", he smirked and then pulled you closer to him. "Gonna have to get more proof. Just to be sure."
You snorted.
"~Of course."
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Say Myers...Can I see you without the mask ?"
His...mask ? What a strange request...
Now, why would you ask that ?
He tilted his head at you—pondering.
His confusion must have shown as you answered his silent question.
"Well...Every time I see you without it, Michael takes over and I'd like to see you without it."
Myers didn't move for a second and you thought you had offended him or something...But, he then decided to trust you and removed the mask.
You were immediately drawn to his two green eyes that seemed to be boring into the depth of your very soul.
He was handsome, even though a few scars here and there from years of surviving.
You raised yourself on your tiptoes and you saw the momentary panic in his eyes.
He wanted to look away or hide away from your gaze—but couldn't. He only kept staring while you continued examining his features.
You looked each other in the eyes and then, an inexplicable impulse took over you.
You kissed his chin and smiled when you felt him holding you a little closer than necessary—his eyes squeezing shut.
It felt...good.
His beard tickled your face, but you didn't mind. You giggled and hugged him back.
Myers wouldn't cry, but he did feel the need to talk—him who usually never did.
He opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.
"Well ? Aren't you going to return my kiss ?"
You then tapped the side of your face with a small playful smile and Myers couldn't help but smile back.
However, you didn't expect it when he suddenly leaned forward to kiss you on the lips, securing the back of your head with his large hand.
It made you feel safe for a second before he pulled away—all too soon.
He then put back his mask and even though you couldn't see it, you knew he was smiling underneath.
4K notes · View notes